#OH and not to mention these are literally the cookie version of the Human guy and his cousin?? that's pretty suspicious in and of itself

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

Tragedy!!! The hot girl next door is related to the cookie version of the human that tried to kill you in the human world idk its really weird

[sage-nebula]

💫✨ people I’d like to get to know better ✨💫

thanks for the tag @caffernnn !!

last song i listened to: So I'm actually going to plug three songs that I've been absolutely obsessed with over the past weekend and have been listening on repeat as a result, all by the same artist -- Lydia the Bard, over on YouTube.

Lydia makes villain songs for the Disney princesses (among other Disney female characters). Her first handful were just lower pitched versions of their songs (or songs from their movies), but as she progressed she started changing lyrics, and now she's really grown and is making the songs more and more unique, culminating in finally creating a wholly unique villain song for Tinkerbell, which just came out and is my favorite.

"Fall Little Wendy Bird Fall" recontextualizes Tinkerbell's animosity toward Wendy. In this version, Tinkerbell and the other fairies of Pixie Hollow brought Peter Pan and the other Lost Boys there because, due to the nature of fairies' existence depending on humans believing in them, fairies were dying all around them as humans grew up and stopped believing. So the only way to secure their own lives was to make sure their humans never grew up. But Wendy threatens that by making Peter and the others long for human lives. Therefore, Tinkerbell sees her as a threat who must be taken out to save her own and her friends' lives. Not only does this song make Tinkerbell a far more compelling character, but the vocal performance is stunning, and the animatic that goes with it is amazing as well. Literally obsessed.

The other two I'm obsessed with are Meg's (where Hercules betrayed her as well & she kills Hades & takes his power) and Isabela's (where Mirabel doesn't get to her in time, and her resentment over the arranged marriage drives her to snap). Meg's is a bop and has a killer line in "In time they'll say I was cruel 'cause I cared", and I'm sorely tempted to use her final look at the end of the animatic as my Halloween costume this year. Meanwhile, Isabela's is also killer musically of course, and has equally fire lines like, "What could you possibly expect was gonna happen when you made me? / Tend to a plant with poison and expect a flower, are you crazy?" They're both just so good.

favorite color: Purple! Specifically cool shades, and especially cool shades that are more pastel, mixed with grey. I also like blues and greens that are faded like that, too.

currently watching: A little while ago I had started rewatching Sabrina the Teenage Witch since I hadn't watched it since middle school, but once I got to season four it got . . . bad . . . and it has continued to be bad . . . so I've kind of stopped watching lmao. I've lately been rewatching Jenny Nicholson's videos, but I finished that, so now I've gone back to rewatching Jenna Marbles videos. Oh, and I really love this series on YouTube called Bistro Huddy! It's hilarious, and Drew (the guy who portrays all the characters) is fantastic, he really melts into the roles so you almost forget it's one guy doing all of them. Highly recommend checking it out.

spicy/savory/sweet: Honestly depends on my mood, but I do have a strong sweet tooth, so honestly it's hard to go wrong by offering me ice cream or a cookie or something similar.

relationship status: Currently dating the lovely @skimmingthesurfaces 💜 She's actually going to be here this weekend for my birthday! (My birthday is on Tuesday, so I'm very blessed to have her with me for the whole weekend.)

current obsession(s): Aside from the songs mentioned above, I've been really thinking about one OC in particular of mine, and her story / novel . . . she's a character that I first created when I was about 13 or so, and has gone through a lot of development since then, but I've been fleshing out a lot more of her story and how she fits into this new original world I've created (since she was originally created for a Legend of Zelda role play, albeit even back then she came from a country outside of Hyrule). I really love and cherish her a lot, even though most other characters think she fulfills the "girl who is stupid" role in the adventuring party, and on some level she also believes this about herself, and to be fair she's not academically gifted at all, but to be even more fair the school and in fact overall society she was raised in was extraordinarily fucked up and no one actually tried to teach her in a way that would help her learn and in fact learning disabilities were seen as personal failings and --

Ahem. Anyway. I have long since described her as "pure of heart, dumb of ass," and in many ways she is, but for the second half, she's not in the way most everyone around her growing up assumed she was (including herself), or like, even if she is it wasn't 100% her fault (like yeah she slept in class and that was on her, but also she wasn't going to learn whether she was awake or not because her teachers were not going to be able to teach her the material because it was a One Size Fits All approach to teaching even when it really wasn't -- and that's only scratching the surface of the problems in her school / culture, it's a huge systemic thing). But yeah I've just been thinking about her a lot. Karin's my girl and I love her lots.

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

Dude I had a crazy ass dream about Spiderverse this morning hold on

Alright so the beginning part of the dream doesn't really matter, it had nothing to do with it. But anyway, I'm walking down the sidewalk in this neighborhood, and it's night, and I'm just me. My regular human, boy self. Just casually strolling down the road in the middle of the night when all of a sudden-

BAM SURPRISE MILES MORALES SPIDERMAN IS HERE!! WHY??? TO UH.. KICK BUTT AND SAVE THE DAY OR SOMETHING!!!

So for some unknown reason I then morph into a version of the Spot, and we throw down.

Except I have a baseball bat.

And Miles

Uh

Doesn't.

So Dream-Spot-Me beats him up with the baseball bat (and Miles had prosthetic arms?? For some reason???) And then rips off and steals his arms and runs off into the city, where I proceed to wreak as much havoc and chaos as possible.

So much so that 2099 shows up.

But it's like, Miguel from the comics version. Not spiderverse version.

Now, I don't like Miguel (whoops spoiler sorry I just.. didn't like the way he treated Miles at all. Or Gwen. Or anybody for that matter. And I know he has his reasons at all, but I don't have mine. Grumpy ass man. Ahem)

But this version of me?

Absolutely completely smitten love at first sight. So here's where it gets weird(er).

My guy was totally absolutely in love with him, and LOVED being chased by him (for the record, I was also insane and completely manic... for some reason.) And while being chased, I started singing.

You know the second Lego Movie? The song what Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi sings? "Not Evil"? Yeah.

I was bouncing around the goddamn city singing a bootleg version of this song while crashing into buildings and floating through the air throwing streamers and shit, and every time I would mention not being evil, Miguel would shout "BUT YOU LITERALLY BEAT A KID IN THE FACE WITH A BASEBALL BAT!!!"

But I was just like "Meeeee? Noooo... You've got the wrong guy giggles running hiding"

He eventually caught me. But that was okay because I was still losing my mind over him. And he had like golden handcuffs and attached only one to my left wrist and started pulling me away to jail (While I force him to hold hands with me). And I was like

"Nooooooo whaaaattttttt :((((((( 😢😢😢😢 will you come visit me???"

"No. I can't visit you. Also why would I want to."

"But--- 🥺🥺🥺😢😢😢😢"

And then his face like softened as we arrived to the 'jail' and he was like "Fine. Maybe I might."

And then just casually turned around and ripped a giant hole in the fence so he could come back later and say Hi to me. He also stuck a warning note in the middle of it, midair btw, that was basically an out of order sign.

Oh but the cop watching this go down? He didn't like that. He didn't like that one bit. He's got his arms crossed and he mutters to himself he goes "...That.. I'm gonna have to report that." And he walks off to the side and whispered into his radio all like "So this random beefed up man just came and ripped a giant hole in the fence all casual like.. were gonna need someone out here to get that fixed."

And I hear him and turn to Miguel like "Noo!! We're gonna get in trouble :("

Anyway his ass ditches me.

And the jail thing is a mostly outdoor encampment with some long wooden picnic tables that are covered and then some barrack-like buildings in the back that were the sleeping quarters. And I go and sit down at one table for dinner.

I sit between this man and his wife, and we start eating. It's this gross mashed potato and gravy mixture with meat on it. Think like a cheap microwaveable Salisbury steak meal or something. There were also these little cookie/crackers things that were sweet and special and were really good.

Anyway as were eating the cop guy goes around singing in a low voice and threatening everyone (my god, this was a musical). And while he's doing that, the man and his wife grab some reindeer moss from under the table and a half burnt match and then light it, and it's supposed to be almost like a traditional promise (? If that makes any sense at all. No idea what my brain was on but that's how it felt) and as the moss melted (yes.. it was plastic.... apparently) it like, was supposed to solidify their marriage and promise good luck and good fortune.

Anyway Mr. Cop Guy sees it and he snatches it away and makes a show out of stuffing it out, and EVERYONE at the table gasps and freezes. And I turn to my right and there's this woman who looks absolutely MORTIFIED (not the wife... she dissappeared).

There's like this little screen/border that pops up that says like "900 years of bad luck" or something, a curse gained from the fire being snuffed.

And she goes "I am going to turn ugly!!"

And I put my hand on her knee (she pulls away) and I said to her I said "No, ma'am. You are beautiful." (She really was.)

And she looks at me. "But what if I become FLAT."

...so I look at her chest and.. well, she was already flat... erm.. alright. Anyways- "Miss, you will always be beautiful no matter what. No curse can change that."

And that seems to soothe her.

So I look over my shoulder at the man and he's hunched over his plate like SUPER angry and upset. And he starts singing the end to the song 'you wrote "don't forget" on your arm' by flatsound (on YT the timestamp is 2:12 but it's basically just "And I hope one day when I see your face, my brain thinks that it's looking at a stranger," over and over)

And eventually we all join in and start screaming it at the cop.

And then I woke up and the song was playing on Spotify on my TV.

So... that's what happens when I sleep with music, I guess.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."

[ghostie-gengar]

Ok so i have had this idea of an AU where N has like an actual known mother for like so long and i just. i have to get it out i need to so here’s a very very watered down version of her story with events that are so unlikely but whatever i just (warning it’s really long despite being a summary so prepared to get smacked with mom lore)

so. Her name is helen and she is a very nice lady. like SUPER NICE like you could break into her house and she’d be like “oh hey :) would you like some cookies i can put on a pot of tea” but also not a doormat. she Would Not hesitate to tell ghetsis off or smack anyone who hurts her kids.

anyways helen and ghetsis met in their mid to late teens, became friends (somehow :/ ghetsis was quite the charismatic young guy i imagine) and got married in their 20s. after a couple years twins!! im sure i don’t need to tell you how that happened. anyways concordia and anthea popped up and they were quite the handful but helen absolutely adored them and ghetsis was just kinda like “ok whatever children”

oh also im not sure if i’ll keep this but helen can sooooort of understand pokemon and N got that ability from her

oh also btw helen and ghetsis formed team plasma together see helen’s idea was to create like a pokemon relief center kinda like a sanctuary idk and ghetsis’ branch of family was kinda like a cult that thought humans and pokemon should be separate and ghetsis wanted to use that for more power and saw helen and was like “i can use this :)” anyways moving on

One day helen and ghetsis were taking a lovely stroll and they came across these young triplets who were homeless and helen was like “mine” so they adopted them and ghetsis twisted it to make it seem like He was the cool one who saved them so they’d listen to him (shadow triad)

this is kinda where team plasma begins to seem more evil and helen is catching on but she’s like “noooo ghetsis wouldn’t do that” (girl you’re wrong)

anyways once concordia and anthea are like eight or nine a little natural harmonia gropius pops up!! and helen is overjoyed cuz like she secretly always wanted six kids and now one two three four five six!!!!

she and ghetsis are also quick to notice how much n looks like ghetsis and ghetsis is mentally like “haha yes mini me >:D”

Then team plasma is very clearly a cult like helen can’t even deny it anymore and she tries to bring it up to ghetstink but he just waves her off like “now now dear don’t be silly” and she’s like >:(

ghetsis starts taking about making n the king of team plasma and helen’s like “well only if he wants to right” and ghetsis is like “no”

he only wants to use N more when he figured out N could understand pokemon cuz like he’d babble to helen’s minccino (oh yeah btw helen has a minccino)

theeeeeeeeeeen helen walks in on ghetsis being mmmmmmmmmmmm not good to concordia and concordia and anthea are both crying and helen is like “DUDE” and makes him sit down and have a serious talk about proper parenting which ghetsis also brushes off

then after a couple of days, concordia and anthea run away and helen is obviously absolutely devastated and she and ghetsis look for weeks. months. And no sign of them. ghetsis is like “well i guess they’re dead nvm then” and helen is like “DUDE” and she looks in the girls’ bedroom and finds a note from the girls that tells her to keep n safe and not to worry about them

after thinking about all the crap stuff ghetsis has done lately helen takes n in the middle of the night and runs. no looking back. bye bye ghetstink :( and life is much better honestly

she lives in that trailer in lostlorn with lil baby n and her plan was to wait for him to be able to walk and fend for himself and then they’d both go look for concordia and anthea but until then peaceful forest life playing with pokemon

And ghetsis upon waking up and seeing his wife and kid is gone he’s very upset. after a few years however he’s walking in like white forest or something and stUmbles upon concordia and anthea and he’s like “frickin sweet man” and snatches them and they are Not Happy but when they get back to the castle and see helen and n are gone? they are So Relieved those two got away even if they had to stay there

Anyways once n was three or four he was fine he could walk and he loved to wander around and make pokemon friends and he’d always come back to the trailer

one day ghetsis was walking through lostlorn for no particular reason and he came across n playing and recognized him immediately and was like “Oh My God No Way” and committed grand theft natural right there on the spot

but before he left he left a note for helen to find that said “did you really think you could hide forever” just to rub salt in the wound

anyways helen is like man it’s getting late i wonder where little natural is and so she gets a pidove to go look for him and the pidove brings back the note and when she sees it. tears. literal tears and sobbing she’s like “oh my god he has him He Has Him” and then she’s like “k you know what? Imma go get him i will go GET my child from this stinky man watch me grab my coat and i will get back the boy and if he has the girls too i’ll take them too and”

and then!! The shadow triad appear in the trailer (they all have names that only helen bothered to learn) and they’re like “hey so we kinda have strict orders from ghetsis that if we see you in the castle or anywhere near team plasma we kinda have to tell ghetsis and he’ll hurt n so maayyybe don’t?”

and helen is like crap. like genuinely there is no good solution cuz if she goes and fails to get the n back ghetsis would hurt n and if she did get the n back ghetsis would hurt the shadow triad and so she’s stuck and she has no choice but to just let everything happen

But!!! This story has a happy ending!!!

so i didn’t mention this cuz my thoughts are all over the place but helen likes to paint and so in order to cope with everything she painted her kids and they’re like really good anyways

N meets her at some point after bw2 cuz he was in lostlorn and it was raining and zoroark ran into her trailer and he was like “zoroark you Cannot Be Here we need to go” and helen walked in and she recognized him immediately like she was internally like holy arceus above that is my son that is my son that is my

but N doesn’t remember her like at all so she doesn’t want to say anything in case she overwhelms him and N is like “i am so sorry for coming in here my zoroark just hey you know what i’ll just leave”

Meanwhile she’s trying not to cry and she’s looking from n to a painting of n she did and she’s like holy arceus and she’s like “nono you can stay for tea until the rain is over”

And n had also noticed the painting and he was like that’s literally me but didn’t want to say anything

So n stays for tea and they have a lovely chat and helen is like this is literally my son and he has no idea who i am and then the rain stops so n leaves and helen is just like. Sad

But then n comes back another day and stays for tea again cuz they kinda became buddies and n is about to leave but he stops. at the doorway and slowly turns around and is like “i feel like i know you from somewhere” and helen is like “???” about to cry again

And you can like see the gears turning in n’s brain and he just freezes. and he looks up. And he’s like “.......mom?”

tears. Everywhere and both of them are sobbing and hugging each other and helen’s like “omg you’re so tall look at you how you’ve grown” and more tears and they literally hug for like hours while helen tells the story and helen was like starting to calm down and n’s like “btw connie and anthy are alive” and she just starts crying again and then they go to the house in driftveil so helen can see the girls and everyone just starts crying the girls are freaking out cuz they never knew what happened to mom and rood was there and crying like “mistress helen you’re alive ma’am” and just. big group hug and the shadow triad probably teleport in there for like five minutes and helen will absolutely not let them go without hugs even if they still work for ghetsis and yeah. that’s the very long summary of n’s mom imagine how long it would have been if i like actually wrote it professionally ok bye

[jennycalendar]

What do you think would've happened if Wesley was Buffy's first watcher in Sunnydale and Giles came in to replace him in season 3?

Also what if Jenny didn't die while this was happening bc like. If we're having fun anyway we gotta include Jenny she's The Most Fun

oh my god i think that's the buffy and jenny timeline. i really do.

see, wesley is so not a good watcher when he shows up in sunnydale. i've always been of the mind that giles is a horrible dad and an AMAZING watcher, specifically because a watcher's job is to train and prepare a slayer for the mission ahead -- and buffy's unwavering devotion to giles means that she is totally willing to follow his lead if she finds his requests reasonable, plus giles's love and respect for buffy means that he in turn is willing to listen and adapt if buffy thinks his methods unreasonable and unfair. thing is, though, wesley does not have any interest in fostering that kind of camraderie with a girl who he sees primarily as a disobedient disciple: he feels WAY too entitled to buffy's respect to ever actually EARN it, because he is gonna constantly treat her like she's lesser for not just perpetually following his lead. which of course will not fly well with buffy AT ALL.

so you know who i think buffy is gonna start turning to? jenny. like, if her two options are 1) her watcher, who has absolutely no sympathy for her as a human person because she refuses to be a cookie-cutter council-approved slayer and is therefore a Rebellious Waste of Resources or 2) the technopagan who helped cast a demon from the internet, knows a TON about magic, is willow's favorite teacher, and is very willing to help buffy when she needs it? buffy is absolutely going to go straight towards jenny.

(this is getting long lmao so more under the cut!)

the change in giles was something that came about because he saw himself in buffy -- she is rebellious in a way that comes from a very compassionate person not being listened to when they say that they have been wronged. wesley, imo, would be far less willing to cut buffy slack, because he is a lot younger and therefore a lot more attached to ideas that aren't his own. he relies on the council because he doesn't know who he is without it. (same as giles, but giles is a little more okay with that ambiguity than wesley, i think. it's hard for him but it isn't the level of Life-Shattering Change that wes went through when the council kicked HIM to the curb.)

so in this version, wesley and jenny are pretty much constantly at odds, but they reach this weird little detente wherein wesley is willing to let jenny handle his slayer's unfathomable emotions and mentor her as long as he's allowed to drill her and take her on patrols and stuff. while wesley and buffy are nowhere near as close as buffy and giles, i do still think that by season three, they have a kind of weird understanding and a pale, watery imitation of buffy and giles's bond. buffy likes wesley well enough. she kinda looks at him like he's this golden retriever puppy she needs to keep an eye on sometimes.

JENNY, however, is the one who buffy has latched onto with all of her might, which in turn has caused a quiet little fissure between buffy and willow (who was jenny's unequivocal and obvious favorite before buffy came along). there are a lot of girls vying for mom's attention in season three -- faith is jealous of buffy like nine times more than in canon, because everybody gets a boring old watcher, but buffy gets a biological mom who is around AND a mentor/unofficial BONUS mom who understands how hard it is to be a slayer. it is literally such a mess and jenny is handling it to the best of her abilities but does not have half the support she needs wrt getting shit done.

the cruciamentum pretty much goes down as it does in canon -- i do think that wesley would falter, because he is a good guy at his core, and the truth of what the council is doesn't seem like something he was willing to accept in canon's season three (if the way he handed faith unceremoniously over to the council goons is any indication). but having to see firsthand this kiddo who he has trained go into a situation where he's certain she'll die? he can't do it. so he tells jenny that he's struggling, because he knows she will flip, and she DOES, and everything kinda goes to shit. wesley gets fired for involving a civilian in watcher matters, JENNY gets forbidden from EVER seeing buffy again, and giles is sent down to reinforce this doctrine.

now, bear in mind, this is a version of giles who has not spent three years with buffy. but this is ALSO a version of giles who, as every version of giles does, falls in love with jenny from the very fucking moment she storms up to him and starts yelling at him about how inhumane the council is. all of the kids are kind of expecting jenny to win against the guy they have unkindly dubbed "wesley 2.0" (god that is such a cursed phrase to type when referencing GILES), seeing as wesley kinda crumbled after two seconds of one of jenny's lectures, but giles gives as good as he gets. giles is not just gonna take insults to the council lying down.

so giles and jenny probably might have spent like the next four seasons screaming at each other if not for the fact that this is also when faith kills a guy by accident. and this is of course a situation that resonates HUGELY with giles! jenny and wesley are both ultra defensive and expecting him to immediately be like "i't's my responsibility to report this to the council," but giles instead is very firmly like. the council is understanding when it comes to youthful accidents, but they're not gonna take kindly to this situation, so we're all going to need to put our differences aside and figure out a way to help faith.

i think giles is actually what pulls faith over to the scooby side for good! like, he is this misfit who the others don't like, he GETS what faith has been through, he's able to relate. they form a very solid and special connection. (this thought was very much inspired by this post by @restlesshush where she mentions that giles and faith overlap significantly, so that's a definite influence wrt my convictions.) faith really likes feeling special to somebody, i think, and it means a lot to her that it's somebody who everyone else is still on the fence about. she gets to be someone's favorite slayer. i feel like she might have at one point wanted that with wesley in canon, before actually meeting him -- hoped on some quiet level that she'd matter More to somebody. and then of course she saw him and was immediately like. yeah. absolutely not.

meanwhile JENNY is seeing giles step up for this traumatized kid and make sure she is okay and run interference with the council to buy them all time while they figure shit out, and suddenly she's like. 💕 oh no. 💕 and buffy is so so viscerally horrified by this reaction.

[searchingforbucky]

FIC RECS (Part 6) :)

sorry if you got tagged in this again, I'm a dummy and deleted it on accident :( 

Request: Could you recommend me some biker!bucky fics? I’ve read all of @bucky-plums-barnes’ and I’m desperate for more

Alright guys, this is my favorite fic recommendation list I’ve done thus far. Lets buckle up for my absolute favorite AU. This one is LONG. But I just couldn’t stop I love this AU too much to not go on and on lol. These fics are amazing, I tried to keep it to one fic an author, but I stated if they had more! Also the descriptions may be a little smaller, because there were so many I didn’t want this to be way too long :) And shoutout to @bucky-plums-barnes for all of their amazing biker stuff too!

Swallow by @all1e23 

This fic here, is absolutely beautiful. The way Allie writes is so unique, and reading their work is always a wonderful experience. There is never an emotion that goes unfelt by the reader. This fic is a story that perfectly embodies the way love makes you act. Love isnt perfect, its heartbreak, and destruction, and pain, yet above all else its beautiful. Don’t go in expecting a fairy tail, go in expecting tangible realistic love between two broken people. Also, Allie has an amazing story called Home, that I also highly recommend.

New Girl by @omnomsauruswrites 

This was the first biker Bucky story I ever read, and I think thats why its one of my favorite AUs, because I got sun a good start with this fic. I love this story. We’ve got enemies to lovers, biker bucky, and a killer plot twist that I did NOT see coming. All in all it was such a lovely story. Its shorter chapters, but every word is purposeful to making you fall in love with both characters. In the end you get a happily ever after, and you couldn’t ask for more!

Howling’ For You by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Ohh my love, my whole heart is in this fic. This is such an amazing story. I sometimes don’t love the good girl bad boy trope because its overdone and excessive, but THIS. This is so well done, is he protective? Yes. But does he also know she is perfectly capable of being an independent human? Yes! There were so many twists and turns and absolutely heartwarming love between the two characters. I also love how in character every person is. Amazingly well done, would read it every day if I could.

Wild Horses by @whitewolfbumble

Bad Boy exterior SOFT boy middle?? Yes! This fic is so adorable. It really shows the build of the relationship, and thats always my favorite part. It was such a true to life story in my opinion, the reader started of lost and finding her place in the world, then this lovely group of people just accepted her and helped her through her tough times. It was such a heartwarming read, with angst that just solidified the connection between the characters. And the friendship they all had was so refreshing compared to some stories where people are just rude for no reason. Its a short yet sweet read, and I 100% recommend it.

Long Way Round by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan

This was a hard one to choose, so many amazing biker stories they’ve written! But im a sucker for series’ and this series is so awesome. I LOVE Plus size reader stories, hell yeah representation! Now this story is a TRIP! Its like a really good episode of criminal minds. There are so many details jam packed into this that I couldn’t put my phone down! Shady gangs, corrupt leaders, and a smart as hell reader. This was just such a good read, not even for Bucky, but just for the incredible story telling. Sweet protective Bucky is always a plus though. Also, check out their other amazing stories like The Bounty, and Red Star Rebel, they’re just as amazing as this one!

A Real Sweet Guy by @mycupoffanfiction

I remember when I first read this it was only a oneshot and I was super sad, but then BOOM it turned into an adorable series. Its not done yet but its so good so far! Its the epitome of soft baby boy Bucky under a hard tough guy exterior. The way Ellie portrays relationships between characters is so cute, you feel the love between everyone whether that be platonic or romantic. Its through details that she sets up this lovely little universe that you just get sucked into, and honesty im fine staying there lol. I cant wait to read more of this one!

Rebel by @promarvelfangirl

Okay for this, just a warning, my device has a little trouble with the master list so it may be easier to use the desktop version :) Okay about the story, holy hell this one is cute. Bucky is HOPELESS, and just wants a date, Peter has the worst timing, and Steve just is along for the ride. I love mutual pining fics where one is completely oblivious to the other trying to ask them out, and the other is just trying their best lol. I felt like banging my head on the table very time Bucky got too nervous, but alas! It worked in the end, adorable little fic. They also have a cute set of biker Bucky stories called Fancy hair that I love so much.

Born To Run by @softbiker

Slow burn baby! This one is still in progress but hot damn is it good so far. I love this trope of the girl not really wanting anything to do with the guy but the guy and his friends being like well thats too dang bad! I love the idea that family isn’t what you’re born with, its who you love and who loves you. This fic is absolutely lovely so far, and though obviously I don’t know much about where its going to end up, where it is right now is good enough for me to put it on this list!

Notorious by @interestedbystanderwrites

I know I’ve been going on and on about how much I love Soft sweet Bucky. But I also LOVE badass tough guy who is very scary Bucky. And oh baby is this the perfect fic for that! Bucky is a felon, and a hot one at that. And what he sets his eyes on, he gets. That thing just so happens to be the all to trusting reader. This is such a thrilling fic. It reminds me of baby driver for some reason. I love seeing the cracks that show a bit of sweet Bucky. It leaves me waiting for more! He’s her addiction, she cant help but to stick around. Such a good fic, I cannot wait for more of it! 

Deny Me by @brooklynsboys 

This fic made my heart turn to mush. Its about an insecure reader, and a tough buck who has the softest heart ever but doesn’t know how to show it sometimes. My absolute favorite bucky is the bucky that only his girl gets to see, and this is the perfect representation of that. The way they write is spectacular. They get you to completely understand the feelings the character has without literally just writing it. You are right there in the world with them, feeling what they feel. And who doesn’t love a perfect happy ending?

Whatever it Takes by @sgtjbuccky 

Oh Buddy, lets talk about how much I LOVE this fic. Bucky is the biggest charming jerk there is, but you love to hate him. I was smiling the whole way through this read. Literally my face hurt by the end I was smiling so big! It was cute, and I felt every frustration, yet every single bit of the tension they had. The reader is a smart little cookie, and bucky is too cocky for his own good. If you want a cute extremely well written fic, this is the place to go!

Tender Surprises by @empyreanwritings 

Jesus, talk about tooth rotting tear jerking fluff. You know those videos where the child asks a pseudo-parent to adopt them? Yeah, thats this perfectly embodied in a fic. I cried, read it again, then cried some more. I love how it mixes tough biker Bucky with soft non-toxic masculinity father. We need more of that. It was so perfectly written, the flashbacks are perfectly placed, and give another layer of depth into this familial relationship they have. I love Dad!Bucky and Biker!Bucky, so to have them wrapped into on is perfect.

Softail by @nacho-bucky 

Theres something about the way Cait writes thats just poetic. She could write about my morning routine and it would be art. This fic is no exception. Its the cutest little thing, two people in a diner, brought together by chance and a little bit of courage. Its an adorable little story about trust, and taking a chance. Bucky is supportive and encouraging, reader is a little scared. But it all works out in the end, because everything is okay when you’re with the one you love. 10/10.

You Give Love, A Bad Name by @em-imagines

I love stories like these.  The cocky boy chasing the uninterested girl, yet there is obviously some tension there? Yeah, thats my cuppa tea right there. Also, its a high school AU! Love those. This story is definitely a mixed bag of feels. You get the super cute chase, but you also see a raw side of Bucky, and his unfortunate home life. As sad as it is, I think its a good representation of true life, where there is always something that you don’t know about someone. Theres vulnerability to this, and that makes it such a lovely story to read. Incredibly well done.

What’s On The Inside by @revengingbarnes

Is this technically a mechanic and not Biker AU? Yes. But he rides a motorcycle and its too good to not mention lol. This fic is ADORABLE. Mutual Pining! Shy flirting! Instant Connection! Bike Riding! Its incredibly well done too. Its just one of those feel good stories, it makes you smile, and want to get to know more about the characters. Soft Beefy bucky is my favorite boy, and this is SUCH a good representation of him. My heart was mush the whole way through. 10/10 would read again (for the 12739th time)

Broken by @allthebucky now on @poeticbarnes 

Forbidden lovers y’all, thats it. Like Romeo and Juliet except Bucky is a dummy who doesn’t know the right thing to do, and the reader just wanted truth. Its a short but sweet little fic, theres so much emotion packed into the story too! You feel the pain the reader and bucky hold at different times, but you also feel the longing as well. Its such a cute relationship they have, and I’m always a sucker for bucky putting the reader first!

Over The River and Through the Woods by @geminimoonbeamx

Sure its only September, but that doesn’t mean its not time for a killer Christmas Fic! Also another plus size reader hell yeah! I LOVE the domesticity from this! Its like Love Actually, a bunch of absolutely crazy people coming together, and the reader and Bucky are just trying to get out alive lol. It also really sweet in dressing what its like to be without those you love on holidays. A perfect balance of sweet and serious. Its so cute, and so funny. I have a non conventional family so I can relate to this so much.  The love between the two is so palpable and so heartwarming. 

Home Sweet Home by @sweet-barnes

Their name says it all. This story is just one big ball of sweet biker Bucky and his sleepy gal. I am always looking for those small tooth rotting fics just to boost my feelings for a day and oh man is this is. Bucky is the biggest cuddle bug in history and not even his scary biker persona can change my mind. This fic made me smile so hard, and then want to take a nice nap with the teddy bear Bucky Barnes himself.

Skin by @captain-ariel-barnes

Okay I love this one because I’ve not read another like it. I love how she portrays Bucky as having been in an accident and having memory problems because of it. Its so real and sad when you think about it because its entirely realistic and truthful to life. And boy is Bucky not just the sweetest thing ever. He wants to remember his girl no matter what, so he makes it permanent. Their relationship is so cute. I just love soft Bucky with my whole heart. Amazing story, so well done! 

The Mailbox by @kaunis-sielu

This one was one of the first one shots I read of biker bucky and I still love it so much! Bucky is such a softie, running into mailboxes fixing them, even having Steve paint it? Okay big bad biker guy, you sure are scary… Also, protective bucky yeah baby!! Hell do what he needs to to keep the reader safe, and oh baby if that isn’t like my favorite trope ever. Also the little sassy elements are hilarious. I also recommend their other biker fics such as Stitches, or Just Married. :)

Oh god. That was a long one. Would you believe me if I said I had to cut it from 37 to these 20 here? Hardest decision of my life lol. Thank you all so much for reading until the end. I hope you all love these fics as much as I do! :)

[lowkeyhockey]

stronger than my demons - nolan patrick

Pairing: Nolan Patrick/University Student!Reader

Mentions: Travis Konecny

Warnings: Description of depression and anxiety, curse words. Does not follow the “canon timeline” of this season (:

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Nolan makes a bad day better. He always does. 

* * * * * * * * * *

With Nolan gone, without his arms to hold you firm, you fall asleep sometime in the middle of the pink-tinted hours of the pre-dawn and wake around noon. You wake and immediately try to remember what time your thoughts had finally decided to take a break, to give you a break. There’s no way you’d gotten a full night’s rest, or even a half night’s rest — but maybe you’d gotten enough that you wouldn’t feel a failure at even sleeping.

When your mind decides to race ahead of you the way it’s been doing lately, it always feels like your own brain is a whole other entity from you, like it’s an enemy you just can’t seem to beat. How are you supposed to beat yourself, anyway? In what universe would you not end up the loser, however the battle ends up going?

You wake with resentment heavy on your tongue, thick in the back of your throat, you wake cold and alone and praying for the clock on your bedside table to show you an hour closer to dusk because that would at least mean that you have fewer hours of the day to get through.

But you wake at noon, with the sun directly overhead as though judging you for your sins — and that means you haven’t missed Nolan’s lunchtime call. He never misses it, calls exactly once at half past twelve whenever he’s away. Doesn’t matter if he’s just out for lunch with Travis or if he’s mid-roadie. He calls. Just once, though, and if you don’t pick up when he does he just waits for you to call him back.

And he never blames you for it.

Sometimes you’re asleep, insomnia or a late-night burst of productivity hitting you hard enough that you destroy whatever semblance your sleep cycle had to an actual functioning thing. Sometimes you’re in class, and you dig your phone out to text him an i love you and an on tuesdays i have biochem, remember? and sometimes an oh my god prof anderson’s even more boring than usual this week.

On Tuesdays he’d text back an i love you more, like it’s a competition and like he genuinely believes he’s winning, he’d text you a new science meme he found online, he’d text you a focus on ur prof anyway, and stop checking out your TA.

You’d always reply to the last one with a sneaky pic of your TA, usually while he’s bent over one of your classmates’ desks to explain a concept to them in detail. There’s a reason why your classmates keep asking him to explain the most basic of things, and it’s not just because he’s incredibly enthusiastic about doing it.

But it’s — Thursday, you think, you’re not quite sure, but it’s media day for the flyers and that means that Nolan’s probably going to be busy all day. For the second time since you’d woken up, you pray - for a moment - for time to move faster than it’s doing.

A peek at the clock tells you that your prayer’s gone unanswered, and — hey, at least that gets you to direct your annoyance outward. To the clock, to god, maybe, or just to the concept of time.

But because you still have about twenty five minutes before Nolan’s call, you climb - slowly - out of bed and head to the bathroom — if nothing else, you could at least brush your teeth before he calls you. That’s how he pushes you, when he’s there in person: just brush your teeth, babe, or just have some of the toast i made, i’ll make more if you decide you’re hungry or it’s okay if you don’t hit the gym today, Newton’s been whining for another walk.

And you both know by now that things are always easier after you’ve taken the first step. You brush your teeth, shower, even go through your (pretty basic) skincare routine before Nolan’s Facetime request pops up on your screen.

By the the time you accept the call, you’re feeling halfway-human again, though you’re in one of Nolan’s ratty old Wheat Kings jerseys and not your own clothes. You manage a smile for him, tired and - at the same time, and just from seeing his face - not, smile widening as he swings his phone sharply around.

You see something like a patch of orange fur flying through the air, Nolan ducking it just in time, and you hope that he hadn’t just dodged Gritty. God, were parts of Gritty - aside from his bellybutton patch - detachable?

Nolan laughs, the low, rumbling sound making you smile a little wider, even as you’re wishing that he’s there with you so that you can feel the sound. Nolan’s a grade A clinger when you both have the energy for it - you know exactly how his laughter feels when his chest is plastered against your back.

“I’m under attack, babe,” he tells you, and you think that you’re looking better than you feel, because he’s grinning at you with flushed cheeks and messy hair, a disaster of a masterpiece of a person and he’s not trying to quiet himself down for you.

Nolan is - well, most people would think of him as quiet. private, even secretive, restrained. But he trusts you, and even on the days when you feel more walking dead than alive he feels like there’s more of the world to see - and feel, and experience - when he’s sharing it with you.

He tries to quiet himself - makes himself soft and safe, soothing and easy - when he knows you’re having a rough day. But you love him when he’s like this, too.

Okay - in all fairness, you love all versions of him.

“Baaaaaaabe,” he whines at you, still grinning, and you realise that you’ve been staring.

“Is it Gritty, baby?” you ask, and you can feel yourself grinning back now — it feels like a mask stretched thin over your face, but it feels real, too. “You know I’m not getting in Gritty’s way. Ever.”

“Fuck, no, I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” he promises you, and he’s turning again, the camera catching a shirtless Carter Hart in the background. They’re in the locker room, you think, and even though the other guys might be there too, you make sure to wolf-whistle at him.

Hartsy looks up to grin at you, giving a small, awkward wave that you think means he’s still a little shy with you, and Nolan swings the camera around again — this time so that his face is filling the screen, and he’s arching an eyebrow up at you.

“It was Teeks, actually. You wanna flirt with him too?” he asks, and it’s your turn to laugh — and it’s like something slips off your shoulders when you do, a weight you hadn’t known you’d been carrying.

“Think he still likes me after the last girl I hooked him up with?” you ask — you haven’t had the time or energy to hang out with TK in a while, thirty minutes with him is about as much social interaction as you’d get from five hours with literally anyone else, but the last time you did hang out together there had been a fourth person there, a lab partner you’d had earlier in the semester.

Teeks had seen her profile picture in your Whatsapp chat - he had zero sense of boundaries or personal space - and had insisted on an introduction. And, as it turned out, he’d come to regret it.

“Fuck you, she talks like she’s spitting out a dictionary,” you hear Teeks shouting from somewhere, and Nolan turns away from the phone - and from you - then, though you recognise the furrow in his brow even from his profile.

“Dude, I told you not to talk about her friends like that,” he tells his friend, sounding disapproving and stern, and Teeks - who’s the opposite of serious, especially when it’s Nolan being serious - goes pfffft in reply.

“You said to not call her a n-e-r-d, and i didn’t,” Teeks shoots back, like you’re a genius who just happens to be incapable of spelling, and you’re laughing again.

Nolan turns back to face you, then makes a face like he’d just been jabbed before he angles the camera so that you can see Teeks, too, maybe standing on tiptoe so he can hook his chin over Nolan’s shoulder.

“‘Nerd’ isn’t a bad word,” you tell both boys, mock-serious like you’re settling a dispute, and TK pumps a fist in the air.

“Y/N can say it, she is one,” Nolan protests, and you’re making a squawk of - exaggerated - affront while he goes bright red.

“You know what, Teeks? You can have him,” you tell them, and then it’s Nolan’s turn to make a sound of protest. Instead of pumping his fist again, though, TK makes a face like he’s considering it before shoving Nols aside - you’re giggling when he stumbles, but when he straightens up again he’s all yours.

“We’re having lunch in a little bit, babe. Have you had anything to eat?”

You shake your head, feeling a little guilty, but Nolan looks unfazed.

“That’s okay, we’ll have an early dinner tonight, yeah? I miss you,” he says, the last words coming in a low mumble. You’ve been missing each other a lot - you had a summer internship as a research assistant while he’d gone home over the off-season, and even as the season’s coming back into swing now you’re feeling more pressure from a heavier courseload.

“Sounds perfect, Nols. I can’t wait.” And you’re not lying, not just trying to be good enough for him - pretending to be a girl capable of going out for dinner in the city. You don’t have to lie or pretend. If Nolan wants to have dinner out, you want to be there with him. And if later you decide you’re too tired, or too anxious to be surrounded by people, you know he’ll want to be with you - on the couch, in pyjamas, eating takeout and fighting over who’s getting the better fortune cookie.

“Love you,” you say to him in a whisper, even though there’s no one around you to laugh and tease about you being so mushy.

“Love you more,” he replies, each word crystal clear, and you see another orange thing flying by - still just Teeks? - right before you cut the call.

[lunarbranded]

🍵+ gatekeeping

Send 🍵for the mun’s salt! || Meme

gate·keep·ing: noun - the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.Tumblr definition: when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who has access to something .

Boy, you know. I’ve been mulling over how I was gonna work with this ask and how to do this post for a while. Actually had the words a few times that I wanted to use but I waited and thought on it. As it turns out, there’s a lot I want to touch upon with my salt in this post. Most of it is general toxic behavior from the RPC community itself and some of fandom but, for the most part, it’s Tumblr bullshit to the extreme.

If you don’t want to see strong af opinions, please keep scrolling. The salt will be under the cut and I understand that most of what I’ll be saying in this post will not be popular opinions.

Gatekeeping Is A Form of Bullying

Ever heard some dudebro go ‘I bet she hasn’t even read the comics’ about a girl wearing a Marvel shirt? What about someone going ‘If you don’t read the books, you’re not a real fan’ when someone’s in line at the theater? Yeah, those are examples of gatekeeping. A couple of the most common ones actually. 

As for Tumblr RPC gatekeeping, it’s a bit more like this: 

Omg, you can’t write that because it doesn’t fit into what I believe is the only lore that ever exists

wtf why are you claiming that character is gay/trans/bi/ect? they’re not or it would be mentioned in canon

how dare you want representation for your gender identity/race/ect., that’s not okay because it doesn’t adhere to CANON

you can’t ship that because it’s morally wrong and i don’t like it (which sounds a lot like old church people bitching about anything at all really)

if you don’t have the right aesthetic then i won’t follow/interact with you at all

These are just a few examples but most of them are pretty common. And, you know, that’s sad as fuck, to be honest. So many people I’ve met on this side claim to have been bullied but they’re usually the same people who turn around and do this shit to others. It’s unreal to me that they don’t recognize their own behavior. What’s worse is that it can’t be pointed out or people want to use whatever buzzword they can to tell you to fuck off.

If you try to help correct someone, suddenly you’re every -phobic on the planet and you conveniently managed to set their grandmother on fire. The dramatic overreactions of some people have a price and they don’t realize that the emotional response is sometimes not the correct one.

Just because someone is doing something you don’t like doesn’t mean that it deserves a negative action on your part. 

‘That person upset me so I’m gonna post a callout/vague post about them!’ Why do you guys think that literally fucking everything needs a reaction? It doesn’t. You don’t have to react to everything that happens. Sometimes things warrant a simple ‘oh that’s fucked up’ and then you move on with your fucking day. 

Say you have thirty water bottles. Someone steals one and drinks out of it or whatever but you still have twenty-nine water bottles - why the fuck are you going to be angry all day about that one water bottle? What’s the point when you have twenty-nine other water bottles and you can forget about or throw away the one that was ruined/taken? 

You see, that reaction is how you guys act about any one instance that goes wrong on Tumblr except you’re pissed off for a week and you want to ruin someone’s fucking life over a post/thread that you don’t like. Or, in extreme cases, you open blogs to run your mouth at these people. It takes more effort to act like a dick toward someone than it does to just keep fucking scrolling and it’s astounding how ready people are here to wallow in negativity/toxicity.

Puritan Ship/Roleplay Policing

So I mentioned it before, but there’s this super popular idea on Tumblr that if you don’t abide by a certain unspoken ship/roleplay guideline, people will tear you apart over it. But guess what, guys, it’s fucking bullshit. 

Since when were people not allowed to make their own opinions on what they did or didn’t ship?

When did it start that people were considered trash for shipping something?

Who the hell made half of you the owners of the RPC so you think you can control what everyone does on their blogs? 

You see, this is the same attitude that I see all the time in churches. Oh they’ll tell you to your face that you’re welcome to do as you like and come looking however you want but the second you actually fucking do it, you’re ignored and treated like a social pariah. All this because people love to go around spreading rumors and talking shit about one another all over a fucking hobby. 

It’s actually kind of insane when you think about it. Like, you’re arguing over what two people are doing when they’re throwing internet Barbies at one another and you’re stomping across the playground to scream at them because you don’t like what they’re doing when it has nothing to fucking do with you. Remember what we called that in elementary and high school? Oh yeah, there’s a word for it: BULLYING. And now, it’s evolved into gatekeeping.

This attitude is literally as bad as someone going ‘you can’t sit with us’ just because you don’t like what they’re doing on their blog. 

Now, I called this section ‘puritan’ for a reason - “practicing or affecting strict religious or moral behavior.” Does that sound familiar? Because it should. Tumblr wants to call everything wrong and, from what I’ve seen, the hivemind doesn’t want people making their own opinions. Oh and don’t forget, if you don’t already know something then tough fucking luck because it’s ‘not our job to teach you.’ Thanks for the reminder, Susan, but we all know that you’re going to resort to calling people toxic abusers just because they weren’t given the chance to learn something like you were. Because that’s a fucking great way to help people to understand things from your point of view.

Look. What I’m saying is that trying to force everyone into your moral alignment isn’t okay. Some people will write murder and abusive relationships and not romanticize them just fine. The same goes for incest, rape, dysphoria, and a great number of other things. Believe it or not, some RPers actually take the time to look this shit up so they can make sure that they’re doing it fucking right and avoiding romanticization. You know, what you people want them to do but yell at them when you see it trigger tagged without bothering to take a look at the entire thread in question. Goes right back to that knee jerk reaction people like to rely on - not everything is the end of the world.

Callout/Cancelled Culture

This one’s going to be fun.

So we all know that people love their callouts but we also know that people just fucking love cancelling people. Guess what though - you cannot cancel a fucking human being because they’re not a television show. Shocker right? I know.

Now, I’ll admit that there’s some callout worthy topics but there’s some callouts that are so goddamn stupid that I just can’t take either party seriously. Now Tumblr loves dividing people, especially in the RPC. Don’t fucking tell me that cliques aren’t a thing in the RPC because ‘RPing in your bubbble’ is the same as having a clique. It’s the same concept hidden behind another name, don’t try to tell me otherwise. 

And yes, sometimes people want to run around and start ‘clique wars’ like it’s fucking high school all over again. Sorry, but no one has time for that shit. Do your replies and keep your nose out of where it doesn’t belong, Barbara. But, of course, people have trouble with this concept and get into fights. It’s natural that no two people are going to agree on the same goddamn thing. It would be ridiculous to expect this, especially on this website, but just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean that they’re cancelled. 

What you think is problematic and what someone else thinks is problematic are likely two different things. And sure, you’ll have people who agree with you and you’ll want them on your side but that doesn’t help because now you’ve created that divide. So things fester and get worse because you want to use your mental illness as an excuse (a popular choice from what I’ve seen) as to why you can’t communicate with someone. Next thing you know, there’s a huge callout against someone and that person didn’t expect it at all.

Knee jerk reactions. Fight gets worse. Divide gets bigger. Toxicity festers. 

Well now, there’s this new thing in the RPC where you can get a PSD template and fake fucking screenshots. Sure, it’s for musings and character profiles for things like Tinder, Facebook, ect. Just fun little things for you to throw your characters into and stuff like that. But there’s always that 1% who decide to use it so they can make it look like someone’s said something when they haven’t. So, when that person tries to defend themselves with a full-screen shot of their own (whole desktop or mobile version), things get worse until there’s a giant blowout. 

Once the dust settles you get this nice little ‘if you follow x, y, z then you can just block me bye’ behavior popping up. Well, that’s just childish. Unless something happened that was almost a ‘they found out where i live and they’re sending me glass filled cookies in the mail’ situation, then I have no reason to bother with that shit in your rules page. No one is obligated to tell you who they associate with just because you had a disagreement with them. However, if that person chooses to take your side, that’s up to them. 

I’m sure damn near everyone has had a similar situation to this happen to them on Tumblr before and, if it hasn’t, were you the one making the call out? If you were, was it worth it? Did it make you feel better? Sure, it might have in the moment but if you’re having that much of an issue actually communicating with others then you should take a step back and work on yourself before you involve other people. It’s like that one saying I keep seeing running around ‘if bad things always happen to you, you should make sure that you’re not the one causing it.’ 

Now, that’s not to say that I’m trying to gaslight anyone, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve looked back and realized that my own knee jerk reactions have caused a lot of turmoil that I could have avoided had I stopped and thought on it. I’ll admit that because guess fucking what, humans aren’t perfect. 

That’s the biggest issue on Tumblr. Half of you expect people to come on here and be perfect from the get go but humans make fucking mistakes and we learn from them. Do we not? How many of you can say that you were perfectly rational and amazing 15 year olds? Absolutely no one because teenagers have a lot of stress and expectations thrown on them while they’re going through a rough growth phase at that time. Things are unpredictable for them and they have school, teachers, friends, and parents throwing all of this shit onto them and then they come on here and have full-grown fucking adults slamming all this shit into their faces. It’s fucking ridiculous. And that’s another goddamn topic holy shit. The way some adults on here act is absolutely barbaric.

Sharing IP Addresses Out of Revenge/Anger

Oh this is something I’ve hated since I found out that Statcounter was a thing. Yes, I run it on my own blog but you’ll never see me sharing IP addresses on the dash. I’ll just quietly IP block you and go about my day, idgaf.

So there’s this huge trend and I’ve seen this on my own dash before (it was fucking disgusting, the response was atrocious on that person’s behalf, and I’ve since hardblocked) and it’s something I’ll hardblock over in a heartbeat. 

Now, for those who don’t know, Statcounter has a little piece of code that you can put into your blog theme and it’ll track the IP addresses of people who visit your blog. For me, I use it because I’ve had two stalkers in the past and yes, I keep screenshots of their visits for my own records. Fuck them. First one started the trigger for me and the second one recently exacerbated it. Anyway, if the person doesn’t have something on their browser to block it, Statcounter will pick up on their visit, what links they look at, how long they’ve been looking, their ISP, general location (never their precise home location, just the ISP’s area), browser info, and screen resolution. I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I recall for now. 

Having it so you can protect yourself from stalkers is one thing but having it and using it to throw someone’s IP out there is another. When I say that people weaponize Statcounter, I’m not joking. People will go on there after getting what they believe is anon hate and see who the move recent /ask visitor was and start blasting their IP all over the place.

For one thing - people can send asks via the dash. They don’t have to click onto your page at all so, there’s a HUGE risk of throwing out an innocent person’s IP address. 

Say someone does this - mistakenly throws out an innocent person’s IP after receiving anon hate. That person is likely going to have a panic attack. Not only have you shared their state and general location but you’ve blamed them for something they didn’t do. Throwing that IP out there, to any fucking extent can create a witch hunt for anyone who has Statcounter to try to figure out who the owner of that IP is. 

This is related to gatekeeping because you’re essentially blacklisting anyone who lives in that state/general area from the RPC all because you saw they were in the /ask page. How fucked up is that? It ties right back to the knee jerk response and it shows that people given even a modicum of power abuse it at the first chance. This isn’t even addressing how vicious some people answer anons.

Sure, posting an IP address on it’s own isn’t illegal but when you tack a name onto it, then it is because you’re essentially creating a threat toward that person.

Point of this section - don’t fucking share people’s goddamn IP addresses on the dash, it just makes you a douchebag. I lose all respect for anyone doing this when I find them - fuck you for doing that.

Activism Forced into Roleplay

I used to be in the Marvel RPC. Key here: used to be. Part of the issue that lead to me leaving was how much people slammed IRL issues into RP. Yes, I’m well aware that Marvel comics has a long and deep history of taking on IRL issues and the comics themselves are quite political.

However my issue comes when this is happening outside of the Marvel community.

I’ve seen people trying to force IRL events down people’s throats. ‘You shouldn’t be happy - x, y, and z are happening right now and don’t you dare tell me to be quiet about it!’ Good way to get yourself blocked. People RP as a hobby and, for some, as a form of escape. Immersing into a character to find out what makes them tick is a form of method acting, so it could be said that we’re method writing out characters to an extent. So shoving IRL issues at some RPers can cause them to lose muse or abandon blogs entirely. 

Of course, in the same breath, I’ve seen people told that they can’t RP something because they’ve never experienced it, people think they’re romanticizing it, or some other bullshit Tumblr reason. Look, I’ve experienced rape, self harm, suicidal thoughts, CSA (incestuous and non-incestuous), as well as mental and physical abuse. Don’t you dare assume that I cannot write about these experiences in an accurate way and don’t you fucking dare tell me that I can’t write it because I’ll tell you first off where you can shove your bullshit. The fact that people have to disclose that they’ve been through these things so people will stay off their ass on Tumblr RPs is fucking ridiculous too. 

You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot write on my blog when I trigger tag the living shit out of everything to make sure that I’m protecting as many people as I can from seeing it. Do not try this shit with me. Censoring someone because it doesn’t adhere to your moral code is just as bad as banning books, televisions shows, and/or movies. 

Censoring something doesn’t solve the problem and boy fucking howdy does Tumblr have an issue with that. Censorship is another form of gatekeeping, by the way! You might not like it but people don’t go to jail for writing about incest or rape, just fucking saying. Oh but there have been crime authors sent to prison, I was suspended from school for writing about murder, but nothing about rape and incest. 

Sure, it may raise some eyebrows and people have to actually use gasp! postblock, tumblr savior, and any other method of tag blocking so they don’t see it but uh… that’s called being responsible for your content consumption.

Tumblr Is Not The Real World

Alright. So I’m gonna close this with a good reminder that I think some people on Tumblr could use. 

Tumblr is not the end-all be-all of the world.

Yes, you can make some good friends here and that’s fine but when you stay on here too long, the toxicity can start to change how you view the world around you. No, not every man that walks by you is going to rape you. No, not every woman that you see is going to be okay with you treating her the way you do female ocs and canons on here (actually, I’ve met some women who were proud they could make a full-grown man cry with the right look so). 

You have to think about how Tumblr makes you view others as well. All this ‘you messed up once so you’re cancelled’ behavior is a social media phenomenon that doesn’t carry on into real life. It just doesn’t. Sure, you can block someone you know IRL but that doesn’t stop them from talking to you if they were a Facebook friend you went to school with. If they still live nearby you, they’ll either talk to you or about you. What are you going to do? Take the Tumblr route and fucking scream at them like an incoherent banshee? No, you’ll suck it the fuck up and you’ll act like a decent person, don’t fucking lie.

You need to understand that Tumblr is it’s own entity, it’s own little sphere on the internet and, by no means, is it appropriate to carry on in your daily life the way some of you do on here. And if you do, please take a moment to stop and look at yourself. 

Self improvement starts when you want to improve but gatekeeping, bullying, and acting like a total barbarian to people you don’t know isn’t okay. This goes for the ones you do know too. I’m not saying that triggers aren’t important in the real world but you need to understand that forcing the social climate to change will only make people dislike you. When they don’t want to change, they’re not going to and some will refuse to change to spite you. 

Forcing anything won’t help. 

Gatekeeping won’t help. 

Censorship has never helped.

People don’t respond to being told what to do, feel, or think. Personally, I’d tell someone to fuck off if they tried doing it to me. So why do you think you can do it to others? Ever heard of ‘treat others how you want to be treated?’ Just be fucking decent and stop acting like other people are your goddamn doormat, jfc.

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Maskless

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam - Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Rating: PG-11/T- (for violence)

Original Idea: This imagine by @imaginesofthefandoms101​

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) I wrote two versions of this before deciding that the first one was terrible and completely rewrote it. Hope you like it! If anyone’s curious about version 1 I might post it on my main blog. I also really love writing Nightwing’s puns. @welovegroot @batboys-and-other-messes

^^^^^

“‘Night Stan!” I called to my boss as I left the building. The elderly man waved at me with a little smile. I beamed back and ducked out the door.

Blüdhaven after dark was scarier than Gotham. I’d lived in both and I could say that for certain.

Technically it was still my opinion but Blüdhaven was scary. The shadows seemed like they were alive and writhed with what little light illuminated the darkness from streetlights and billboards in a terrifying dance. The night was overcast, as usual, so no moonlight made it quite to the ground, even though I could see the slightly brighter patch of clouds where the moon was soaring through the sky.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me as a chill breeze blew down the street. Why had I agreed to work late? None of the public transit was running, my feet were sore, and I lived a mile-and-a-half away. Not to mention it was getting cold.

Shivering, I zipped my jacket up and started walking faster, eager to get home. To take a warm shower and drink hot chocolate or make a can of soup or something.

I had half a mind to call my best friend and ask him to come walk me home. He was a BPD cop and would literally drop everything to come get me. But… he was probably overworked and exhausted, as usual. And busy. Always busy.

As though by some psychic power of the universe, my phone started buzzing in my pocket.

Incoming Call… Bestie (Dick)

“Hello?” I asked, pressing the phone to my ear.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. Worked late. On my way home.”

“You’re walking?!”

“Gotta,” I said. “The buses and stuff don’t run this late.”

“I'm gonna come get you,” Dick said.

“Don’t bother,” I said. “It’s okay. You’re busy. What were you calling about, anyway?”

“Doesn’t matter anymore. Let me come get you.”

“Dick, don’t worry about me. I'm already more than halfway home,” I lied. I was nowhere close. He didn’t need to know that. I was maybe a quarter-mile away from work. Maybe.

“I do worry about you because I know this city.”

“Then just stay on the phone with me till I get home,” I said.

“… I can do that.”

“Good. While you’re doing that, why did you call in the first place?”

“I was hoping to convince you to go to the BPD’s Halloween party with me.”

“The police department is having a Halloween party?” I asked, pausing for a moment at a crosswalk.

“Yup. I was hoping you’d go with me.”

“What, like a date?”

“No. Everyone at the precinct knows you and likes you from when you stop by with cookies. Just come as a friend. My coworkers would love to see you. We can be ketchup and mustard or something.”

“Dang it,” I said jokingly, crossing the street when the signal changed. “I was really hoping you were going to say Batman and Robin.”

Dick snorted. “Who’d be who?” he teased.

“I’d be Robin. Duh. I'm a shrimp,” I said, laughing. Dick chuckled. “I'm just kidding. That might actually be hard.”

“No it might be fun. Better than ketchup and mustard. Though you’re pale enough to be salt and I'm tan enough to be pepper,” he remarked.

“I am not wearing a seasoning shaker to a par—ARGH!” I shrieked as hands caught my arms behind me and yanked me into an alley. Screaming, I kicked and thrashed. “Dick!” I shouted, knowing that even if he could hear me—assuming my phone hadn’t broken when I dropped it—he wouldn’t be able to make it to me on time. I hadn’t even told him where I was.

Slamming my elbow into the man’s solar plexus did nothing but jar my funny bone and send tingles all the way down my arm and into my fingers. I huffed in frustration and tried wrenching my arms out of his grip. No avail.

I kept struggling as two other men loomed from the shadows, each one taking one of my ankles as I tried to get away. “This one’s a fighter,” Left Ankle Grabber said.

“Fighters ain’t worth it, boss,” Right Ankle Snatcher added, voice considerably lower. “Need easy targets.”

Arm Holder chuckled. “No. This one… this one will break,” he said, voice low and way to close to my ear for comfort. His breath smelled terrible—cigarettes and coffee. I coughed and wriggled, suspended in the air by three men who could easily overpower me. “They just need the right… hammer.”

I screamed and jerked around, trying to get away. Nothing. If I could reach my pepper spray in my jacket pocket…

Whoosh! Thud! A shadow dropped out of nowhere from above behind the ankle grabbers. Whatever the shadow was straightened up. They were backlit but I recognized a human silhouette with sticks poking out from behind almost like shoulder antennae.

Nightwing. Blüdhaven’s protector.

“Y’know,” a voice that was vaguely familiar but harder than any voice I’d ever heard (since I’d never met the Batman) remarked casually. “Taking care of low level scum like you guys is… right up my alley!” He snapped his fingers and made finger guns at the men. “Eh? Huh? Good one, right?” he asked. His smile was so blindingly bright that I could see it in the darkness. “‘Cuz, y’know, we’re in an alley?”

No response.

The newcomer sighed. “No? Okay then,” he relented.

Nightwing whipped his escrima sticks out, twirling them around his hands, and whacked Right Ankle Snatcher in the side of the neck.

I got dropped on my butt unceremoniously by all three of them in favor of a fight. I scrambled out of the way as Nightwing successfully defended himself in a three-on-one, close combat situation. Looking around frantically, I tried to find my phone in the darkness. Hopefully it hadn’t broken. Dick was a cop. Maybe he was listening. Maybe he’d had dispatch send someone…

Nightwing did a flip over Arm Holder’s head and landed between me and them, blocking punches on his sticks and with his own arms and hands.

Left Ankle Grabber managed to get a solid punch that Nightwing couldn’t dodge since he was preoccupied with the other two.

Nightwing’s head snapped to the side so hard his mask popped off, landing near my knee.

The force of the punch sent Nightwing spinning down onto his hands and knees, facing me.

He coughed and grunted, eyes screwed shut. “I saw that coming,” he muttered, tilting his head up to get back to his feet.

“Oh my gosh,” I whispered as I caught sight of his face in the shadows. My next word was barely more than a breath. “… Dick…?”

It was definitely his face. His nose. The eye shape. Jawline. Hairstyle. How had I never noticed before?

He must have heard me because his eyes snapped open, almost scared. They were a piercing blue I knew better than I knew my own eyes. Before he could say anything, Arm Holder was hauling him to his feet. “We’ll teach you to mess with our town, punk,” he snarled.

Nightwing snorted. “Wow. I'm so scared,” he deadpanned.

He twisted and whacked Arm Holder in the ribs with his escrima stick, getting released from Arm Holder’s grip. The three creeps ganged up on him. He seemed to struggle a little since he was outnumbered.

I bit my lower lip and curled up, terrified, and unable to look away. I could swear I heard the crunch of a collarbone shattering. Whose collarbone, I didn’t know. I hoped it wasn’t Nightwing’s.

As the fight stretched seconds to minutes, I got one better look at Nightwing’s bare face. There was no denying it. Dick Grayson, my best friend, was Nightwing. The Blüdhaven vigilante. I gasped and could have laughed if I wasn’t so scared.

I watched, unable to do anything else, worried for Nightwing and praying he wouldn’t get too hurt.

Left Ankle Grabber got a little too close to me. I yelped and scrambled back.

Nightwing—Dick—glanced at me. He clenched his jaw and bent his knees.

With five good whacks, he knocked all three men unconscious within seconds. He flipped one of his sticks in his hand and shoved them both back into the holsters on his back. His face was still mostly covered in shadows. He scrambled to find his mask on the ground, keeping his face turned away from me.

The fear of the situation dissipated, leaving only frustration in its wake. “Dick, stop trying to hide your face,” I said. “I know it’s you.” I leaned forward and scooped up his mask where it was near my knee and flung it at him. It bounced off his elbow.

He caught it and stuck it on his face. Then turned to leave.

I got to my feet. “Richard!” I snapped, a little louder. “Don’t you dare. You’re my best friend!”

Nightwing stopped and then turned back to me. His face caught the light of an electric billboard. He looked like he was caught between angry and disappointed.

“I… I… you… you weren’t supposed to know.”

“How long have you been keeping this from me?” When had I met Dick? Was it before or after Nightwing turned up in Blüdhaven?

Dick clenched his jaw and set his fists on his hips in the same motion he would have shoved his hands in his pockets had he been wearing civilian clothes.

“Not long enough.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why?” My voice was sharp and angry to my ears, but also hurt.

He sighed and took a step closer to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. He reached up with his left hand and brushed my messy hair out of my face and back behind my ear before tracing the backs of his gloved fingers down my jaw. “To protect you.”

How was I supposed to respond to that? I was still shocked that he was Nightwing, frustrated that he didn’t tell me earlier, and a little betrayed too. “Protect me from what?” I finally managed to say.

“When you live the life I do… you make enemies,” Dick said. “Those enemies can and will target the people I care about if they know I care about them. Nightwing can’t have civilian friends. Not if they want to be safe.” Dick bent down and scooped up my phone. The screen had cracked. He held it out to me. “I guess… I guess nothing will ever be the same as it was now,” he added quietly.

I took the phone and shoved it in my jacket pocket. “No kidding,” I said.

“Let me walk you home.” He gestured to the alley exit and tapped his ear. “Oracle, do me a favor and notify the BPD of my current location. Three attackers are unconscious. Victim’s safe,” he said into a comm-link I hadn’t noticed before. There was a brief pause during which this “Oracle” presumably said something. Dick nodded. “Copy that.”

We left the alley. I tried to think of something to say, but everything I thought of was either overly angry—like, too indignantly angry for the situation—or just seemed really lame.

I didn’t want to apologize because I didn’t know what I’d be apologizing for. I didn’t really have an outburst. But I really couldn’t think of anything to say.

Dick sighed as we reached about the halfway point between my work and my apartment. “Look, I'm sorry that I didn’t tell you. I know that must hurt. But I was trying to do the right thing. I care about you way too much to put you in unnecessary danger. You’re… you’re the only relationship I have with someone who doesn’t have a costume and an alter ego. And it’s one of the best relationships I have.”

I glanced up at him. “Thanks,” I said. “For… for saving me. And for trusting me. And for… being my best friend.”

He nodded and we kept walking.

When we finally got to my apartment building, he stopped at the door. “This is where I take my leave,” he said. “We’ll talk later, I promise.”

“Go save the city, Nightwing,” I said. “And thanks again.”

He grinned. “Always.” He moved to leave.

“Oh, and Nightwing!” I called. He glanced back at me. “Be careful.”

That earned me a playful, charming Dick Grayson smirk and a wink. “Never.”

[high-fructose-lesbianism]

The 5 Best and 5 Worst songs from 1959’s Billboard Top 100 Singles

The 5 Best Singles

5. Along Came Jones- The Coasters  (#80)

This is a fun, upbeat, catchy song about the narrator watching TV. I’m about that. The narrator’s watching some sort of Western where Jones saves women from horrible fates. The bridge to the chorus are variations of women about to be murdered before Jones saves them. What an excellent concept for a song plus the saxophone is great.

4. Three Stars- Tommy Dee and Carol Kay (#81)

1959 was infamously the year featuring “the day the music died,” which refers to a plane crash that killed Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly. This song plays tribute to it. It basically talks about how talented these three individuals were and how they’re in heaven. Personally, I find it a very sweet and honest tribute. Tommy Dee was not a musician but a disc jockey who released this song weeks after it happened. I don’t think he expected it to chart, he just wanted to pay tribute and I think that’s why the song works. There’s actual personal touches to each tribute. They talk about Buddy Holly’s classic look and how nobody knew him particularly well though his music brought everyone together. Ritchie Valens’ section focuses on how young he was and Tommy Dee does sort of struggle with the fact that he was so young when he died and I think that’s a sad, honest touch. The Big Bopper’s is maybe a little half-assed. It’s pretty clear the writers and performers knew him the least because basically all they said was he was large and talented. Overall, i’m okay with this tribute. It feels genuine as opposed to cynically cashing in on a tragedy.

3. What’d I Say (Parts 1 and 2)- Ray Charles (#50)

More than most songs that charted this year, this song feels like it predicts the future of musical trends. It has a swinging 60′s feel to it. It’s also very danceable. I can see the youth of yesteryear doing the twist and whatever else to this song at a house party. Ray Charles is also of course a great vocalist. He’s got more personality and talent than his bland, white contemporaries. I think you can tell this song is great because there isn’t a white cover of it. Even the professionals back then knew that some cookie-cutter white version of this wouldn’t work

2. I Only Have Eyes For You- The Flamingos (#73)

This is a proper romantic standard. The feeling around this song is great and you just know so many teenagers made out listening to this song. My main problem with so many of songs that charted in this entire decade is that they’re too watered down to properly express the emotion they’re supposed to be singing about. This song avoids that. It sounds properly romantic and longing.

1. Mack the Knife- Bobby Darin (#2)

This song is catchy and about a serial killer. I need nothing else. I seriously want to foxtrot around a dance floor to this song about murder and I don’t even know how to foxtrot. This is a classic of the “oldies” genre that deserves to be remembered 60 years later where so many songs that charted this decade are forgotten. I can’t say that it’s a snapshot of music of the time because it’s much better than its contemporaries. 

The 5 Worst Singles

5. (Seven Little Girls) Sitting in the Back- Paul Evans and the Curls (#100)

 Oh man I hoped this one would make my worst list because I have THOUGHTS. I know that the use of “little girls” was probably not to meant to refer to actual children but aside from the difference in meaning that phrase has 60 years on, I have questions about how seven adult or teenage females could actually fit in a back seat. I dunno, I can’t see this as anything other than seven children “kissing and a’huggin with Fred.” Meanwhile, the narrator drives and complains about how he’s not getting any action only for all seven girls to speak with seven mouths but one voice that he needs to keep his eyes on the road and his mind on his driving. It’s creepy in multiple ways and aside from my taking the lyrics too literally, it doesn’t sound good. The tune is bland and the girl voices they use for the chorus are creepy. 

4. Deck of Cards- Wink Martindale (#71)

This isn’t even a fucking song. It’s Wink Martindale telling a very boring story set to tedious music about how some guy managed to sneak cards into the army by explaining how they relate to the bible. Every single number card, the number of picture cards, the number of dots on a card, the four suits etc is related back to the bible. I respect this guy’s ability to bullshit the army but I didn’t need this as a charting hit. What makes it worse too is that it’s played earnestly. I don’t think you’re supposed to think that this dude is some brilliant liar but actually just a nice, Christian boy who sees god in everything. Oh and plot twist- Wink Martindale was that soldier all along! I have no use for this not-song.

3. Alvin’s Harmonica- David Seville (#48)

Alvin and the Chipmunks can burn in hell. On top of being obnoxious, something I didn’t realize about Alvin and the Chipmunks is that David Seville (or whoever the human voice in this is supposed to be) is basically abusive to Alvin, always yelling at him and singling him out. Alvin’s annoying as fuck but also seems to be a child so it’s rather uncomfortable.

2. Quiet Village- Martin Denny (#18)

This is just really basic, borderline discordant piano music with animal noises in the background. I hate it. There’s no chorus, no bridge, no way of knowing how long the song is. It just meanders from tune to tune and also completely fails to evoke the concept of a quiet village. At least with something like Alvin and the Chipmunks I see the appeal even if I don’t agree. With this song, I just don’t see at all how it became a hit. It’s not even elevator music because it’s too grating to be elevator music. Just fucking awful.

1. The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t be Late)- David Seville (#67)

Another fucking chipmunk song with a tune more likely to get stuck in your head AND it’s a Christmas song. Absolutely not. Also that abuse aspect I talked about in the last Chipmunks song? Still very present and with less antics on the track from Alvin, it’s less justified (if it ever was). Like the human guy pays compliments to the other chipmunks and then always critiques or blames Alvin. I don’t like it.

Other Observations on this List

I listened to this list over a year ago so I don’t really remember many songs worth mentioning or trends worth touching on. My bad.  

There’s a song called Baby Talk in which the narrator’s girlfriend only ever apparently speaks in a spew of gibberish which the narrator then translates. Also then, at the end of the song, it’s mentioned that the narrator is 5 and his love interest is 3. A bad concept for a song.

As mentioned before, this year was impacted by the day the music died. I’m so curious as to what music would have been like had that not happened.

Music trends from 1955 to 1959 have hardly changed at all. There’s a steady evolution but the popular genres remained more or less the same through this half decade. That’s very different from the charts in 2005 to 2009 in which multiple trends in music rose and fell within those years.

[ficdirectory]

Somewhere Inside (Disuphere series #4) Chapter 32

(To listen, click here) - 16:59

While Jesus is waiting for Pearl to come back from talking to Levi, he sits down at the picnic table with Francesca and Dominique.  He scoots in beside Fran, nudging her playfully.  He puts out a hand when he realizes he’s scared her off-balance.

“Stop.  I’m trying to get a signal,” she says, distracted.

“Can you put that down for a second?  I wanna check in with you guys.” Jesus says.

“We’re fine,” Dominique says, her voice guarded, distant.

“Really?” Jesus asks.

“You said you thought we had to get away,” Francesca points out.  “I told her there weren’t any bad people, but I don’t think she believed me,” she confides to Jesus.

“Dominique,” Jesus says.  “It’s Jesus.  It’s safe.  You’re in Minnesota-Avoidance.  With me and Francesca.”

“Here,” Francesca unzips her fanny pack.  Offers a chocolate pudding and a spoon.  “In case you need food, Dominique.”

Jesus fights the memory hard, of feeding Isaac chocolate pudding when he was chained in the basement.  “I think…” he says, deliberately slowing his own speech way down.  “We should all take deep breaths.”

They do that for a while, and eventually, Dominique reaches for the pudding and opens the foil at the top.  Dips the spoon in.  Takes a bite.

So, it’s not just him and Francesca watching Dominique eat, Jesus talks to Francesca about what happened, making sure she understands.

“So, before…” he ventures.

“You mean, like, when Levi started screaming about cookies and knocked a plate over?” Francesca asks.

“Right.  Do you get that he was triggered?”

“He was?” Francesca asks.  “Seemed like he just changed like The Incredible Hulk and got mad.  Levi-Smash.  You know?”

“Sometimes, when I get triggered, it can look like I’m mad, too.”

“Oh, like when you yelled at me that one time I was four. And I almost fell off the chair?”

Her words send a jolt of pain through him.  He hates that she can remember every moment he hurt her because of trauma.  “Right.  I acted mad.  But I was really covering up my scared feelings.”

“Was Levi?” Francesca asks.

“Maybe.  We really don’t know, and it’s not our business.” Jesus says.

“But why did he throw a plate on the floor?  That was kinda rude.” Francesca points out.

“It wasn’t the plate, it was the cookies…” Dominique offers softly.  She sounds here.  Like she’s with them again.  Not panicking.  “And the cookies were on the plate.  And Pearl wasn’t listening to Levi saying he wasn’t comfortable.”

“He literally never said that.” Francesca insists.

“No, but he asked questions, and she didn’t answer.  She didn’t respond to his body language.” Dominique points out.

“Oh, like when I was talking to him and he backed up?  And Mariana said that was because he was nervous.”

“Right,” Jesus nods.  “When people don’t respect us about what scares us?  That can make us act in ways that seem rude.”

Francesca taps buttons on her phone.  “Yeah, he probably just needed accommodations.  And respect because he’s a human.”

“So…  Does that make sense?  Are you guys okay?” Jesus asks.

“I think so,” Dominique says.

“Yep,” Francesca nods.  “And don’t worry.  I won’t ask Levi why he was being rude.”

“I’m sure that would help.  Thanks.  I’m gonna go find Mariana,” Jesus says, kissing Francesca’s head, and waving to Dominique.

“She’s inside,” Francesca gestures.

As he walks away, Jesus can hear Dominique asking lightly, “So...you just carry pudding around in there?”

“Yeah,” Francesca laughs.

“Is it, like, Trauma Pudding?  For people freaking out?” Dominique wonders.

“It was for whoever got hungry first. Like me.  Or whoever needed it.  Like Jesus, or you.”

Jesus smiles and walks inside.

--

Jesus finds his sis sitting on the couch in the living room.  It looks like she’s totally checked out, but chances are she’s tired.  Or thinking.  Or maybe, she actually is checked out.  He’s gotta ask to see where she’s at.  

“Hey,” he says.  “Can I?” Jesus gestures to the empty spot on the couch.

She nods.

“You good?” he checks.

Mariana shrugs.  “It’s hard.”

Jesus waits.

“All of this.  All of us.  Hurting and hurting each other…”

“What do you mean?” Jesus asks.

“You were there, Jesus.  Pearl totally dismissed Levi.  It reminded me so much of that time, do you remember, when Moms were freaking out, and they didn’t even see that you were?”

“You mean here,” Jesus clarifies.

“Yeah,” Mariana sighs.  “They made things so much harder on you.  It sucks to see that happening again.  I get that Pearl has her own stuff.  But we all have our own stuff.  You and I don’t talk to each other the way Pearl talked to him.”

“No, we don’t.” Jesus answers.

“I just hate seeing people not respected…” Mariana says.

“I know what you mean.  I hate it when I see it happening to you and Frankie…  I wish we could all just live together at Gateway or something.  All on the same floor.  And then we could have our own spaces but be there for each other, too.”

“You’re such a dreamer.  How?” Mariana leans into him.

“I guess I didn’t get to do it much as a kid.  So I’m doing it now.” Jesus ventures.

“Are you doing okay?” Mariana asks.

“Francesca whipped Chocolate Trauma Pudding out of her fanny pack…” Jesus ventures.  “An Isaac thing.”

“Ah.  The thing to remember about Trauma Pudding…” she shares softly, “is that it helps people.  Brings them back.”  

“It makes me remember being gone, though.” Jesus comments, letting his hopelessness show through, because it’s Mariana.  Because he doesn’t have to be Jesus, who’s had seven years of counseling and three years in support groups with her.  He can be Jesus, who gets sad about chocolate pudding.  And she doesn’t judge.

“I know.” Mariana says.  “You have a lot to feel…and you have a right to all of it.”

Jesus blinks back tears.  Swallows.  “God, what did I do to deserve you?”

“Nothing, I just appeared next to you.  Like magic.”  Jesus can hear her smile.  “And...I don’t think it was because we deserved each other...I think it’s because we needed each other.”

“That’s deep,” he comments.  “And super true.”

“Yeah, that’s me.  Dropping honesty-bombs and walking away to take naps,” Mariana stands and stretches.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Okay, but we’re having Feelings Time at 12:30.”

“I’ll wake up when I hear the door opening and shutting for lunch a billion times.” Mariana reassures.

“Sleep tight.”

“Miss you,” Mariana says.  Their version of I love you.

“Miss you.” Jesus says back.

Seriously.  He is so glad he has his sister.

--

When Pearl comes back into the cabin, she looks grim.  

Jesus is still there, having cleaned up every bit of the cookie disaster and wiped up the floor.  It was okay.  It’s been interesting realizing that his cleaning-panic is really not a thing when he’s not around his parents or any other adult authority.  It makes him feel like he’s got a handle on this.

He stands up from the table, questions on his face.

“He told me,” Pearl admits, her voice matter-of-fact.

“And?”  Jesus prompts.  “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay.  But I’m not shocked.  I lived with her for 24 years of my life.  I know the type of person she is.”  

“Okay.  Yeah, that makes sense,” Jesus nods.

“That doesn’t mean I’m happy about any of this, but…” she shrugs.  “I think Levi thought if I knew, I’d kick him out.  Or I wouldn’t believe him or something…” Pearl ventures, confused.

“Parental loyalty’s a big thing.  No matter how crappy they are.  They’re still your parent.  Even if they hurt you.  Even if it was bad.  Or hurt someone you love?  Some part of you still loves them.  At least it’s been that way for me.”

“With Ana?” Pearl guesses.

“And Stef and Lena,” he admits.  “Whatever else they’ve done, Stef’s always gonna be the one who took us home from the police station.  She’s always gonna be the one who came and got me in LA.  That’s what makes parents’ mess with our minds so much.  They do good things sometimes.  It totally makes sense to me that Levi’s nervous you’d choose your mom’s side over his...just because she’s your mom, you know?”

Pearl sighs, blinking back tears.  “This really sucks…” she admits.

Jesus sits down across from her at the table again.  “It does.  And I know you’ve got a lot going on right now.  So, you need to remember to take care of you.  However that looks.  Levi’s got us, if you need to go do self-care.  And you’ve got us, too.”

“How could I...have had no idea?” Pearl asks.  “Am I that clueless?”

“I mean...I was around tons of people over those four and a half years.  None of them suspected a thing, either.  Because on one side, I had Him threatening me.  And on the other side?  I felt blamed.  For what was happening.  I didn’t get it.  I just knew I’d been targeted.  So I felt like, Nobody can ever know.”

“So...my mom didn’t want me to know, obviously.  About any of this.  Not my father.  Not Levi.  And not that she hurt Levi.  So, she just lied to all of us and kept us separated.  And meanwhile Levi…” her voice breaks.

Jesus comes around the table.  Opens his arms and waits, in case Pearl wants to stand up.  Take this hug.

She does.

He holds onto her.  Doesn’t say anything.  After a bit, he pulls back.  “I’m gonna go check in with Levi.  You okay here?”

Pearl nods.  “I might go home and do some self care...or fall asleep.  Trauma exhausts me.”

“Well, we’ve got Feelings Laundry after lunch.  Maybe 12:30?  So give yourself time.  But we’ll come by for you in time for feelings.”

“Okay,” Pearl nods.  “Tell Levi I didn’t abandon him?”

“Wanna come out with me?  Let him know yourself?” Jesus asks.

--

Levi’s lying on the dock, staring at his reflection in the surface of the lake.  Sometimes he catches sight of fish.  It’s mesmerizing in a good way.

“Hey, Levi?”

He hears Pearl’s voice from a distance, and waves.

“I’m not abandoning you.  I’m just going home for a bit.  I’ll be back for Feelings Laundry after lunch.  Need anything?”

He watches Jesus tell her something and then hears her call again:  “Jesus mentioned your headphones and laptop.  So I’ll bring those back.  And more clothes.”

He gives her a thumbs up.  Not about to keep yelling.  He turns his attention back to the water.  

But Levi feels it when somebody starts walking down the dock.  

“Just me,” Jesus says.  “Wanted to come and check in.  You okay?”

“She tell you I told her?” Levi asks.

“She did.”  Jesus sits in the chair.  “What’s up?”

“Just fish,” Levi says flatly, staring.

“Yeah...sometimes it helps to focus on something else…  Cookies are all cleaned up.”

Levi stiffens.

“I packed them in my suitcase.  So long as you don’t go in there, you should be in the clear.”

“She reminds me of her…” Levi whispers.

“Yeah,” Jesus nods.  “That’s tough.”

“She did the thing again, too.  Where she believes you, not me,” Levi adds.  His voice still has zero expression.  It’s probably gone from all of the screaming.

“About you being triggered?” Jesus asks.

Levi nods.  “I was trying to tell her the same thing, but she blew me off.”

“Yeah, dude, that’s not right.” Jesus says darkly.

“It makes me feel like you’re more important to her.  Like your word matters more.  And mine...just...doesn’t.  Like nothing I say holds any weight ‘til she hears it from you.” Levi sighs.

“Can you talk to her about it?” Jesus asks.

“I tried.  A little.  And she apologized.  But, I don’t know.  I’m really worried that once you guys all go home, she’ll go back to dismissing me.” Levi mumbles.

“That’s valid,” Jesus says.  “Listen, you wanna come hang out with Frankie and Dominique for a bit?”

“Why?” Levi wonders.

“Because isolating yourself is dangerous.  Take it from someone who’s been there.” Jesus advises gently.

But Levi’s not ready to move yet.  “You said...trauma stuff really ramped up...when you were 9?”

Jesus nods.

“Was it the same as mine?  Like privately messing with you?” Levi checks.

“Among other things, yeah…” Jesus confirms.

“I was 8,” Levi shares.  “Did you...ever feel...like because you were a boy...you should’ve been...I don’t know...stronger?  Fought back?”

“I thought...I’d be in trouble.  I just froze.” Jesus confides.  “People don’t talk about that reaction.  You hear about fight or flight.  But what if you can’t do either?”

Levi’s torn his attention away from the fish.  He’s sitting with his back to the water, focused on Jesus.  

“Yeah, really…” Levi mutters.

“So sometimes, we freeze.  That’s just as valid a reaction.  I think it’s basic.  Like biological.  How animals go still so predators don’t see them and kill them.  For us, they still see us, but it’s how we stay alive.  If we tried to run or fight?  I don’t know...in my experience, that always made it worse.”

“I feel weak,” Levi admits.  “Like, I should’ve just taken it…”

“Do you think I’m weak?  That I should’ve just taken it?  I was a little kid just like you.  A little boy,” Jesus takes out his phone.

Levi thinks maybe they’re done talking until he holds it out.  On the screen, there’s a picture of Jesus and Mariana in front of a brown house.  Backpacks on.  Smiling.

“This was me, three days before it happened.” Jesus tells Levi.

Levi finds himself zooming in on little Jesus.  He really is just a kid.  It’s a typical first-day-of-school picture.  Jesus and Mariana are smiling, but don’t seem particularly happy about going to school.

“She took video of me.  After, you know?” Levi doesn’t add that he has it saved on his old phone from third grade.  The one he told his parents he lost after that time at Carla’s.  He doesn’t say he still has the SIM card.  That he keeps the phone in a small locked box buried in his messy closet at Pearl’s.  That he has the key on him always.

Jesus nods, like somehow, he gets this, too.

“Before she cleaned up, she walked through the house showing everywhere I’d gotten mud.  Showing my dirty jeans.  Finally, showing me, just sitting in the bathroom on the closed toilet.  In her robe.  It was so embarrassing.  She made me look at the camera and told me, ‘I want you to remember just the way you are.’  The scariest part is I don’t even remember her taking it.  I just remember checking my phone when it pinged and...it was there.  She gave me my clothes back, and I tucked my phone in my pocket but told Dad I lost it.”

“Yeah, I have a huge picture and video trigger.  I don’t deal with anybody filming me or taking my pic without letting me know first.” Jesus says.  It makes Levi feel a little better.  Like he’s not totally weird.

“I never could figure out why I hate pictures so much…” Levi ventures.  “And video.”

“Yeah.  That would do it.” Jesus nods.

“Dominique asked me first, though.” Levi remembers.  

“Yeah, we’re good about asking each other, usually.  But I can always bring that it’s a thing for me up at Feelings Time or whatever.  If you want, you can nod or agree.  Or you don’t have to say anything.”

“Can I ask you something? About this?” Levi gestures vaguely at himself.

Jesus nods.

“How do you stop feeling disgusting?” Levi looks at him, honest, but then looks away.

“One shower at a time,” Jesus says ruefully.  “No, actually showers suck.  But...reminding myself it wasn’t something that happened because I’m me...but that it was something done to me.  You wouldn’t blame kid-me.  So don’t blame kid-you.”

“Thanks, I’ll try,” Levi manages.

Jesus extends a hand to help Levi up.  They walk to solid ground together.

[knightofbalance-13]

In Defense of Ozpin

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/160955995697/rwby-theory-ozpin-is-a-fraud

Why oh why am I not surprised this is about a male character?

Between the Wizard of Oz thing that he’s got going on, and his less than stellar ways of trying to be the good guy, I’d have to say that Ozpin is probably not the hero that so many characters (and some fans) make him out to be.

But one important thing to remember about the Wizard of Oz, is that he is a FRAUD. Perhaps Ozpin is the same.

True, Ozpin has done some questionable shit in the past such as allowing Penny to fight or offering Pyrrha the Maidens power thus forcing her through her selfless personality. However, what ever he has done throughout the series he has done so to help the whole of humanity to survive against the Grimm while retaining their individuality and humanity and shows obvious regret over the mistakes he has made, even as he lives within Oscar. So I have a hard time believing this.

So, Ozpin… Let’s take a look at your list of crimes. http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/152795445956/ozpin-hero-or-villain

Hold on: (Walks out of the room and returns dressed in a clean purple suit with a yellow tie and whit undershirt)

Let’s take a look at these crimes shall we?

10. Yang’s ‘unsportsmanlike conduct.’ Now, the reason this is on the list is because, well, he’s the headmaster. He probably has other things to do. But, here’s the thing: Qrow is a teacher, a full-time huntsman, and is part of the ‘Ozluminati’. Ironwood is also a headmaster, is in charge of an army, and is also part of the ‘Ozluminati.’ Ozpin is a headmaster, and is running the ‘Ozluminati.’ Now, the main difference is that Ozpin has only two things to do, while the others that I mentioned have three. Why was Ozpin too busy to consult Yang? Qrow had the time. So did Ironwood. What the hell was Ozpin doing that he couldn’t make time for Yang?

With Qrow: Oozpin has a more advanced version of each aspect. Qrow is a teacher, Ozpin leads the teachers. Qrow is a part of the Maiden group, Ozpin organizes and leads the Maiden group. Qrow is a huntsman, Ozpin has to deal with the LEADER of the Grimm. Add into the fact that Ozpin has to deal with the tournament, finding a new Fall Maiden and dealing with the discontent with IronWood’s armada and he is simply too busy. And if that is not enough: How is this a crime against Ozpin? He has done nothing here except not directly comforted Yang and we never see Glynda do so. So this so called crime should be stricken from the record!

9. Letting in Jaune. More specifically, letting Jaune stay. Look, it’s no secret that Ozpin has security cameras everywhere. There is no reason that he wouldn’t have overheard Jaune admitting that he cheated his way in. Even so, Ozpin is supposed to be smart. He should’ve noticed some shady shit on Jaune’s application. Unless we’re led to believe that the guy who can barely keep up on his own work is that great at faking a transcript. Even if that is the case, Ozpin would have let him in on his strategic merits. But he also had cameras in the forest, did he not notice Pyrrha unlocking Jaune’s aura?

Indeed he would but here’s the thing: Ozpin is the headmaster. He MAKES the rules. He decides who stays and who goes. Proof of this comes in the fact that he KNOWS Blake is from the White Fang and yet lets her stay seeing as she will not harm his students. Ergo, Ozpin is allowed to keep Jaune in. Especially considering YOUR history with Mr. Arc....

8. Those Cameras. Ozpin is invading people’s privacy. Not just any people either, he’s invading his students’ privacy. These kids could be doing some risque and private stuff like Velvet acting like the ‘crosshares’ of Coco’s gun, or Pyrrha “taking an interest in Jaune’s ‘sword.’” Sure, we can write it off as ‘He’s concerned about the safety of the students, but then where was he when Cardin was assaulting Velvet? Or when Cardin was messing with Jaune? Oh, and speaking of what he wasn’t doing…

May I see the Vale law that prohibits security cameras on school campus? What, you cannot provide such proof? Then how can you accuse Ozpin of breaking a law that you cannot prove exists? Perhaps he got legal permission or perhaps the law states he isallowed to do so. And who is to say he has cameras in people’s bedrooms? Can you provide proof of that? No? Then no laws were broken, no privacy is invaded and thus no crime is committed!

7. Team CEMN. Look, we’ve established that Ozpin has cameras everywhere (Hopefully not the bathroom, because then we have to have a talk there, Ozzy.) Are we really supposed to believe that these guys could pull off everything without being noticed? I mean, really? - Okay, maybe transfer students get a pass or something, but that still doesn’t explain the fact that their semblances are never mentioned. Flynt Coal had his Semblance explained, Nora Valkyrie had hers explained, what makes this team so special that they aren’t required to share what their semblances are? - Follow up question: Why didn’t he do anything about the obviously older-than-a-normal-student students? Was he trying to have Beacon wrecked?

Again, you have no proof of your claim that Ozpin has cameras in rooms. And what did they really do at Beacon that was so bad before Episode 7 of Volume 3? Cinder’s sneaking was at the Tower, her finding Penny’s schematics was in her room privately. And why would their Semblances matter hm? You never explain why so why is it such a problem? And finally: Emerald and Mercury are the same age as Weiss and Yang ergo there is no suspicion there and Cinder herself doesn’t look that much older so she could pass as a student. And all of this said with n evidence: Crime stricken from the record!

6. No action on the White Fang. Look, I’m saving the most damning for the final three, so this is also something that needs to be said. Ozpin had knowledge of what the White Fang and Roman were aiming for, and he doesn’t alert the police because… His students are ‘more qualified’? He doesn’t even have to mention that one of his students is an ex-member, he just has to say “Hey, one of the teams at my academy came across this White Fang hideout, maybe you could check it out.”

Mind telling me where exactly he said there was a White Fang hideout there? Because from what I heard (https://youtu.be/bSdejzDaQEU?t=8m49s) All he said was that the Grimm was too much for first years, not a word about the White Fang. More unwarranted accusations: Anymore young man and I will have you arrested for falsely accusing my client of crimes he did not commit.

5. Salem. The dude has some connection to the witch. What is it? He’s a big enough of a threat that Salem had him as a high-priority target. Why? Is he the Wizard? And if so, why is he keeping it a secret? - Fine, I guess we can make the excuse that he wants to keep other people from asking him for shit, but couldn’t he use all that power to… Y’know, tell people off? He doesn’t have to grant these guys their wish or anything, he just has to do something. And if he isn’t the Wizard, then why does Salem consider him such a threat? If he was that big of a threat, then it’s highly likely that he can fight the witch, and win. So, why is he missing? (Yeah, I’m treating this like how I treat Nick Fury and his ‘deaths.’ That rule is “If you hear that Nick Fury is dead, don’t believe it until you see it, and even then, don’t believe it.) We don’t have a body, it’s only his cane that’s missing. And what the hell did he do to make Salem so mad at him to begin with?

No crime seen here, your honor. Keep it moving, my flu is messing with my head.

4. His leniency on Team RWBY. A food fight on that level would net any other set of students detention at best, and expulsion at worst. I don’t care who you are, if you’re a student (Or a group of students) who causes that much destruction in a food fight, you’re getting some repercussions. This guy is favoring Team RWBY, and he can’t just punish only JNPR because that would just look suspicious. So he lets them both go, and it’s Glynda that issues the warning, not the freaking HEADMASTER!

Really because judging from his language (https://youtu.be/PzPZ6joXq5Y?t=10m17s) he’d be lenient on any of them for doing so, knowing the challenges they will face in the future. And again, he’s the headmaster. He decides who to punish and who to not. His authority at school is absolute, yours is nonexistent. so no crime here!

3. Ruby’s admittance. Here we go. The more damning evidence that pushes Ozpin into the ‘bad guy’ category. And c’mon, let’s be real here. Ozpin wouldn’t have let Ruby in if her eyes were just a different color. Ruby could have had training from the best teachers around, and she wouldn’t have gotten in on the grounds that she doesn’t have those ‘oh-so special silver eyes.’ Hell, Ruby could have been more combat inept than Volume 1 Jaune, and she would have gotten in because of her silver eyes. This is the guy who laid out a plate of cookies, which is common knowledge to be Ruby’s second favorite food (For those of you who are unaware, her actual favorite food is strawberries.), for Ruby to eat, and therefore, trust him. This is some shady shit right here.

Actually, we have proof Ruby is combat abled.

Episode 1 of Volume 1 which Ozpin himself confirms. (https://youtu.be/-sGiE10zNQM?t=7m8s) Funny how you consider yourself a fan and yet you missed the entirety of the first episode huh?

2. Fall Maiden. He gave Pyrrha a warning, whatever. But he’s well aware that doing this aura transfer would possibly (And is quite likely) override Pyrrha’s personality, and just turn her body into an empty husk for the Fall Maiden to inhabit. Hey Oz, Glynda is literally right there! I don’t care how desperate you are to win a war, you just flat-out don’t risk killing a student (Much less your ‘top’ student) to achieve victory. What, does the Maiden system have some kind of age restriction? - As far as we know, it doesn’t. So, why risk a student (A FIRST YEAR student, I might add) to win? - There isn’t a reason. Unless…

no age limit huh?

(https://youtu.be/moxtu3AuA4s?t=7m6s)

YOUNG Woman. Probably between 15 and 30, where a woman is in her physical prime and thus can handle such a power. Now Glynda is most likely old enough to have gone to school when STRQ was in school so that means (considering Yangs age): She is at least 39. Well beyond her physical prime. So it looks as though your damning evidence is turning up short.

1. He’s actively trying to get people close to Ruby killed. Yeah, you read right! Ozpin is actively trying to get people close to Ruby killed to set off her special eyes. I mean, it’s awfully convenient that team RWBY ended up on a high-danger mission that nearly got Ruby’s older sister killed! Hell, if it weren’t for Raven, Yang would have very well died. And considering that Oobleck only made Yang, Blake, and Weiss question themselves, and make mistakes, we can only assume that Ozpin made him ask those questions specifically to those three. “All Ruby wants to do is help people. That’s why she wasn’t asked.” - Yeah, bullshit. Here’s my question: “How?” Sure, being a huntress/huntsman involves helping people, but how? You can’t ‘help’ people by slaying monsters, and just being there, you have to actually have a plan. It’s also convenient that he would tell Pyrrha to do something, when he’s aware that she’ll rush into danger anyways. With no plans to have, oh, I don’t know, his security system on when entering the Fall Maiden chamber before Cinder attacks, he was banking on Cinder getting the powers. And why the hell does he even have that thing to begin with?

Seriously, the guy’s moral standing is difficult to ascertain, with all the evidence and more pointing towards Ozpin being morally bankrupt, it’s entirely possible that he’s the cause of the Grimm. Remember all those ‘mistakes’ he’s made? We’ve seen other huntsmen and huntresses fight off Grimm. Glynda, Qrow, Ironwood, the Students, and even the faculty. So, why didn’t any attack Ozpin? What is he hiding? And what’s his first name? - We know that everyone has a name that references a color, so what’s his? We can’t exactly make the stretch that he’s referencing the Wizard of Oz, and the Emerald City. Oobleck’s name directly references a substance in Dr. Suess that is green in color, Weiss’ name is a color in another language, And Ruby’s name… is ruby… like the gemstone.

“High danger mission”

Exactly: meaning there was a high risk of death to EVERYONE, especially the person that he was apparently trying to get everyone around her killed which negates the one argument you could have against Ozpin here (turning Ruby into a superweapon).

“Ask those questions to specially those three”

Or maybe Oobleck wanted to make sure the girls knew how to accomplish their goals whereas Ruby can help people by killing Grimm and thus preventing them eating people. Not like Oobleck is his own person or anything.

“It’s also convenient that he would tell Pyrrha to do something, when he’s aware that she’ll rush into danger anyways. “

That sentence contradicts itself.

“With no plans to have, oh, I don’t know, his security system on when entering the Fall Maiden chamber before Cinder attacks, he was banking on Cinder getting the powers“

Then why not kill Amber right away and give the powers to Cinder right away? WHy go through so much trouble to do the opposite?

“Seriously, the guy’s moral standing is difficult to ascertain, with all the evidence and more pointing towards Ozpin being morally bankrupt, it’s entirely possible that he’s the cause of the Grimm.“

With all the evidence you have shown being complete crap, I do believe th rest of this is just the rambling of a desperate madman.

Verdict? Not Guilty!

Man, if I were a bit more heartless, I’d make a good lawyer.

Ooh… It’s not looking good. But, there is very little evidence backing Ozpin being the good guy here.

Minus him giving Jaune and Blake sanctuary at his school, being understanding about Blake and the teams' situations, helping Ruby out as Team leader. bearing the burden of what might happen to Pyrrha ect.

But as for Salem…

Even t6hough Salem herself has done a few good things like look after Cinder, support her and act understanding: She is still controlling the Grimm, the creatures who kill humanity for the sake of it. She still caused the fall of beacon directly, killing so many people. She still is trying to EXTERMINATE HUMANITY! She is most definitely NOT a good guy here, especially if you are preaching for her, considering your self admitted bias against male characters.

(I’m going to get a little off-topic here for a bit.)

Salem. Here’s the thing, with a quick google search, the term “Salem” Will return… The Salem television series.

Ahem, a quick google search for “Salem Witch Trials” reveals the history of innocent women being prosecuted and burned at the stake for (false) accusations of witchcraft. Why would Salem have such a significant name if she were supposed to be innocent? She obviously has a beef with humanity, and much more specifically, Ozpin. Why did you burn her at the stake, Ozpin? How did you convince everyone that she was a witch, Ozpin? Why did you need others to fight this war for you, Ozpin? Why did you let a young girl give up her own life to try to stop her, Ozpin? Why should we trust you, Ozpin? Why?

By this logic, Weiss should be waiting for her prince to wake her up, Blake should be in a loving relationship with Adam and Yang stole pour age from bears. The characters in RWBY don’ t follow their inspirations exactly and Ozpin and Salem are no different.

You act as though Ozpin should be wholly wrong and Salem is wholly right. There is a middle ground where both sides can be equal parts or varying shades of right and wrong: Grey and Gray morality exists you dumbass.

Now isn’t that the million-dollar question. But back on track with Ozpin here, is he a real hero, or is he a fraud? No matter the adaptation, be it books, plays, movies, or cartoons - there is a major thing in common: The wizard is a complete fraud. He’s no wizard. He’s just a conman. Albeit, he’s a conman with morals and a set of rules, but he’s still a conman.

Exactly. Morals and a set of rules. Morals that prevent him from hurting people on a grand scale and rules that prevent him from abusing his power. The Wizard used his trickery to deceive the four Witches into thinking that he was nigh omnipotent wizard to protect the Land of Oz from them. And while he did indeed use this power once to sell the true ruler of Oz into slavery and the good he did does not excuse that, the good he did still outweights the bad and thus he is more good than bad. Just like Ozpin who did do some morally questionable things but never killed a person or anything as terrible as that and tried to protect the world while doing so. Your theory is bullshit.

With the amount of questionable decisions that Ozpin has done (like not having good enough security for the tournament to avoid someone using their semblance to cause someone to do something that would attract grimm), Ozpin has very few things to name that makes him a hero.

After all, he is the person who made a farmboy leave his home to get a stupid cane that would be more than likely put him at risk because Ozpin is so incompetent/morally-bankrupt that he had to make other people do the dirty work for him.

So because Ozpin is human and makes mistakes, you think he’s the de facto bad guy? Despite everything he has done to help people?

And that Oscar thing: no proof it was just for a cane so you have no case there. Stop inserting shit just to make yourself look good.

Keep Vale safe? - Why do that yourself, when you can let an inexperienced team take on a high-level mission that would result in a General coming by to give you security on his own because you could count on his ego?

No proof that Ozpin knew about the White Fang.

Why prepare a state-of-the-art security system when you could just count on it failing so that way one of your prized students could deal heavy damage to the intruder after they kill two people?

To save lives, which he is working towards. Otherwise, he would lift a finger to help train people against the Grimm.

Why share a body with an actual warrior when you could get a young, malleable mind that can be molded to think what you want them to think?

One: the wizard is a thinker, not a fighter. Two: (https://youtu.be/p1vevcjcaqs?t=4m29s) OScar choose to go on his own by Ozpin’s words. Stop this crap.

Why stop a crisis that would kill thousands of people when you could have a power manifest out of literal nowhere to solve the problem for you?

What power? What does this have to do with anything?

Going back to the Wizard of Oz theme, anyone here see Wicked? - I have (it was spectacular, by the way), and aside from it being a great musical, there’s another thing to consider: The “Wicked Witch” wasn’t actually evil. She was just given that title by her tormentors. Her tormentors, that apparently, didn’t have a skin deformity (no wonder Adam works for her. He relates to being discriminated for something out of your control that causes a visible difference in appearance that nobody else has (That… actually makes sense, now that I think about it. Someone want to do a Faunus/White Fang sympathy post about why they would work for Salem (or at least, write a story?))). Getting back on-topic here, Elphaba (The ‘wicked’ witch), was actually innocent. It was the Wizard, her teacher, and an unsuspecting Glinda (who objected to it all, by the way) that gave her that label of being ‘evil’. Much like the world, the situation wasn’t black and white. The wicked witch wanted to be loved for who she was. Salem could very well be the same. As could Oz. He certainly hasn’t done much to inspire trust recently.

One thing, Dudeblade. One thing: Wicked is NON-CANONICAL, written nearly a whole CENTURY after the actual book. Your musical is just a “What if?” fanfiction whereas the interpretation with the Wizard as a morally questionable but ultimately good guy and the Witch as evil IS canonical. 

You talk of the world being beyond mere Black and White but then try to paint the Black as the The White and vice versa w9thout any consideration for a middle ground. Again, your theory sucks. 

Honestly, at this rate, I’d sooner trust Raven Branwen with my life before I’d trust Ozpin. Because at least, with Raven, I can count on her saving me once. With Ozpin, he’d probably make me become friends with Ruby so that he could send me off to my death to trigger her oh-so special silver eyes. A regular conman will make you raise your guard to someone else so they could rob you. A better conman will convince you that only he can save you, so you’d believe everything they say.

No, you’d sooner trust raven because you’re Sexist against guys, taking everything to mean that they are the bad guys ad the girls are the good guys, regardless of logic and proof. Everytime you bring up one of Ozpin’s “crimes” it can be answered immediately and shown that you have no proof to back up your claim. Ozpin has done questionable shit and Salem has shown a couple of redeeming qualities but that doesn’t switch their moralities, it just mixes them into a Grey and Gray conflict where both sides and right and wrong. Are you seriously that incapable of seeing a morality other than Black and White?

But hey. That’s just a theory.

A shitty, unsupported, misinformed, backwards, blind and stupid theory.

[ascendingdevillived456-blog]

Am I pessimistic or just real?

Most of the time I feel like I'm accidentally surviving my own life. Not to sound like I'm bitching, but I don't have any idea why I'm alive. I've been trying to keep my life simple, but found out that is a very complicated and arduous task. I, physically, am 30some years old, and deeply know my spirit or soul or life force or whatever you want to label it as is old as fuck. I'm a little odd, I've been told, but when you realize early in life that nobody anywhere knows what in the bluest bowels of Hell they are doing, you start making decisions that TRULY matter on a high, VERY HIGH, level of deep understanding. Not to sound like a preachy zealous god-freak, but preeeeetty fucking sure we live in and on the garden of eden as mentioned in that book written 2000ish years ago. You know the one, oh... it has that bearded guy in the middle east who was the Christian God's son, but was a Jewish king, a rabbi, a carpenter, and who led a gang of misfit trouble making hooligans that wanted to make life better for everyone and ended up dead and martyred for it and is currently the nearly-nude mascot for countless kitchens and bedrooms in thousands of American homes. Jesus, what is that guy's name.... anyways... that book. I'm not great with names, nor hiding sarcastic remarks or, OR blatant disregard for that which really does not matter.... uh, uh, uh, oh well. Back on topic now. Ready? On this "bestowed paradise" of Ours, there are a few shitty things that I just WILL NOT turn a blind eye to. I got this list, you see, that has the WORST possible inventions on it that the world could have done without. Number 1 is people... People are needy, greedy, dumb, panicky, self-centered, talking alien-ape hybrids that ruin and destroy almost every thing they put their grubby little peter-beaters on. We kill for thrill and pleasure alone or in packs and have this problem understanding what compassion and sharing equally are. I did two years of kindergarten, consecutively I will add, I know you are supposed to share and be nice or something like, oh I don't know, your behavior is checked, and you learn to play with others. And now number 2 (insert low-brow sophomoric butt-mud poop-shit-fart he he he coment here. I did, but think up your own.) my list. Borders. "We look different in skin color or you talk funny, uh oh, I no longer have trust other human being, stay away from my personal comfort zone. We'll be fair though and draw a line in the dirt in case you get the same vibe from me. Ok?" "Ok, good idea. Me and my family will kill you otherwise maybe, yeah, no, yeah. Stay away. Good job." Are you shitting literally me out of your dumb asses? Where is the logic and practicality in that. We let famine happen daily because, what? Noone knows what to do? Help your fucking human brothers and sisters, and the little ones if your heart has room, you apathy ridden bag of severed dicks. This is everyone's home right now, teach people who have no knowledge. There is no such thing as unteachable. Read between the lines here guys and dolls. Break time. Let me tell you that I'm not being a rude loud obnoxious Internet troll here, some of my rants and tangent ramblings have a twisted sense of humor and are meant to make you take a minute and chuckle at its finest absurdities. Oh my, but we can also be multitasking manimals and take some inventory of ourselves and the other manimals in our lives and have conversations with each other like we're meant to. Anyone over 27 will remember a time before everyone had a fucking idiot screen in their face at all times. (Heh, jokes to come.) What separated us from beasts is our ability to develope and utilize language. To any younger folks reading this: we used to sit at the same parties you all do now, and used our minds and speaking abilities to have a blast. I'm talking some wicked-awesome fucking ideas and fun times were had before the wedding of man and technology. Put the phone down, and step away from the screens. Please. Number thwee, sorry had, food in my...nevermind. money is next on my little list of things I see as wrong. If a person has a lot of money, they generally have a lot of stuff to make sure they're happy beyond worry. On the other end of the spectrum you have... anybody? Class! goddamn kids pay a-fucking-tention! You have a person with little to no money. I will spell this out for you and you know who: that person can't be happy beyond worry because, huh? Some people have been going ape shit on their own happy. Hmmm. Opposite of happy? Right, thanks Julien, smart guy you are, UNhappy. I hope I just made a Julien's mind blow apart. Lol. Now, monetary wealth is referred to as worth. If you gots like soooooo much worth like it's bananas and stuff, then your like totally worthwhile or worthy. Julien, let someone else try now, get your tongue out of my ass you brown-noser. If you ever want to be heart broken ask the poor kid at an elementary school how he feels after the first recess after Christmas break. I bet the word worthless crosses both your minds and you purse your lips and them real big empathy tears well up in your eyes. That kid is programed to think money and worth are the same thing, and will do what he or she can to make sure they ALWAYS HAVE money when they grow up otherwise everyone else will know they are worthless. Made myself cry a little bit there. Guns guns guns are 4 on this list which may make you laugh or at best pissed. In case you missed I'd be remissed if I didn't say you need to come up with your own rhymes and eloquence. Guns though are made for one thing; ending lives. Plain and simple, keep reading you left wingers and right wingers both. The eagle that is the U.S. of A needs you both to work together in order to soar. I have really upset myself with saying that, but it's out there now, ain't it? I feel everyone should have gun training and own a minimum of three guns open carry on a daily basis (we've already got them and they've seemed to dug their heels in so we might as well adapt with the fucking things.) A semi-auto rifle for hunting food, a shotgun for food/eminent defenses, and a pistol for protection of family and home. Common knowledge for everyone should be stated from an early age: IF YOU DRAW A FIREARM ON A FELLOW HUMAN BEING, BE SURE THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE CONCESSION THAT YOUR LIFE HOLDS MORE VALUE THAN THEIR'S THEIR POSSIBLE DEPENDENTS. DO NOT SHOOT TO MAIM. IF YOU DRAW, SHOOT, AND SHOOT TO KILL. REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE AWARE OF THIS TOO, AND IF YOU KILL THEM. YOU MUST LIVE WITH THE MEMORY OF YOU NEEDLESSLY TAKING A HUMAN LIFE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THEIR'S. guns huh? 5. Prescription drugs. Pharmaceutical companies are not your friends. Especially in the world of psychological medication and pain management. I take aspirin on occasion, in my younger days I was always told I "needed something to help me." Help me do what? From the age of 11 until I was into my mid twenties I've been on damn near everything besides Haledol and Geodon. Thanks for being good dealers...I mean doctors and pharmacists. If you want to ask my diagnosis I will share, but let me say that I haven't taken nor would I recommend any person to give a child DRUGS. They are not safe because they are prescribed. Ritalin is molecularly identical to cocaine. No bullshit. They are training kids to be druggies later in life and parents and insurance companies pay for it. Act now and for $799.00 a month you won't k ow who you are, have bleeding of the teeth, lazy finger syndrome, backward stools, brain bleeding episodes, coma and death, but wait there's more. If that pill doesn't work simply tell us and we will give you some other stuff that will make sure your little boy grows tits like a woman and may have a compulsive gambling and or masturbatory addiction with possible suicidal ideation. At least he'll do better on his homework. Fast forward to early adulthood... "oh mummsy? Daddykins? Whatever do you mean I'm no longer on your insurance plans? I simply must have all these pills to be completely the best I can be." "Gee you can just acquisition the local the scumbags who clandestinely make and distribute the bad version of the same drug you've been on for your whole life, my golden child." And don't forget the ssri's. Google this shit kids: ssri's long-term effects on the mind and body. And finally number 6. Social networking. I've never had a Facebook, MySpace, twitter, or anything else. This site I found accidentally while bored and this is my first time posting anything anywhere. The negatively charged part of social media is shit like; omg I 8 a waffle cone with chokl8 chip cookie dough ice cream scoops. Kill yourself you fat cow. Oh boo hoo sad face.... So long cruelty of this place, I have been wearing my life inappropriately I've been informed. Good bye 14 years. Wrapping up at this point as I've said enough for now. I'll be that eccentric and hilariously unfiltered buddy of you get my styles here. Just need to vent sometimes. Help me with Tumblr if you're interested in that... I guess. Looking forward to seeing responses. It should be noted that I have the utmost respect for any religion but abhor the use of faith as a means to control and not gain a better relationship with divinity. I'm not a doctor or political ass hat. I'm a song writing free-spirited music loving real deal motherfucker. "And I didn't even graduate FROM fucking highschool." I.Q. is up a bit above above average. No, that is not a typo.

[todokori-kun]

(Ugh, sorry for this late reply! OTL I’ve been busy and whenever I sat down to try and write this message it would be bedtime before I’d even gotten halfway through)

If we want him to be happy the best, most plausible and canon-compliant choice is Saiko…yet Ishida’s been ignoring her ever since she told Urie she loves him ;-; #IshidaY

Correction: Ishida (like Shuu and Uta) is a picky eater. He’ll only eat human flesh that’s been steadily stewing in misery for at least a year, and the bitterest, saltiest tears are all he ever drinks.

Ishida’s eating habits being similar to Uta’s makes sense though, since he actually said he gave Uta some of his hobbies lol

Just stop hurting us, please…Ishida needs to redeem himself with Hide’s return as quickly as possible. Either that or something bad needs to happen to Furuta (if Rize somehow breaks free and eats him I’m sure at least half of the fandom would realize that they can, in fact, be satisfied).

Hmm, I was fine with Re up until this arc. Touken feels forced, shippy fluff and Mutsuki drama is getting in the way of the ACTUAL plot (even with all his trolling skills, Ishida cannot convince me that sex scenes and love triangles/squares are more important than how the Q squad is dealing with their trauma from the last battle, what Juuzou, Urie and other investigators are going to do now that they suspect Furuta is lying, how the rest of Goat is doing, what Uta and the Clowns are up to, and Furuta finding a way to, oh, I don’t know, BRING BACK THE FREAKING DEAD). It’s like Ishida has a really interesting plot in there somewhere, but he’s buried it beneath the pointless, badly timed romance.

As for Mutsuki, I used to be a bit 'meh' about them (I used to like them, and then I didn’t mind their backstory/the treatment they got at Torso’s hands simply because I got spoiled and knew it was coming from the very beginning, plus the parellels with Kaneki had me thinking they’d get a similar interesting development) but I’m starting to become more and more indifferent towards them because they just feel really flat now- a basic murder-bot, a copy of characters like Yuno Gasai. Maybe I’d sympathize with them more if their love for Sasaki/Kaneki felt a bit more genuine, but as it is, it seems lacking. It feels like we’re viewing Mutsuki from an outsider’s POV; not much about their actual feelings or thought process about the entire situation, just a bunch of crazy, yandere moments with a few

That AU…make it canon, Ishida. (jk, but seriously). I’m one of those people who won’t complain no matter how much the creators pile on the angst as long as it’s plausible angst (I’m afraid I’m a bit of a masochist when it comes to fandoms…) but I like to think of my favorite characters being happy for once ;-;

 0/////0 TYSM ;-; You’re so supportive and sweet and just asdfj;lk (it’s not easy to reduce me to keyboard-smashing but I have a lot of feelings right now) <333 I’m still scared because there are two ways this could go (either I somehow get over my fear and do ok, which would probably be really good for the anxiety, or I just freeze the second I step onto the stage…which would probably make things worse) HOWEVER, for Queen Luna I shall do my best !!!! <33333 :D

But wait a sec…‘King’…

Plot Twist: I am the real One-eyed King

Also

‘Urie & Tumblr(Evans): A short story’

-Urie pretends not know what tumblr is

-Only he totally does

-It’s an addictive hole of darkness

-And Luna spends way too much time on it for his liking

-Ok, so it’s not tumblr he’s worried about, really

-It’s this guy called Evans that Luna keeps talking to

-And no, he did not just assume this person’s gender, he (ACCIDENTALLY) saw one of Luna’s messages to them calling them a ‘king’

-She never calls HIM stuff like that there’s only that stupid nickname ‘Oreo Cookie’

-Jealousy?

-N O

-That’s for the common folk like Sasaki

-Look, he’s just worried about his s/o ok

-Then one day he brings it up

-'The 'King’ thing was an inside joke of sorts’

-'Evans is a heterosexual female’

-R.I.P Urie, who must now admit that he was indeed jealous

(super awkward crack that suddenly popped into my head

And aww, I’m really so glad you enjoy the HCs ^^)

Me + a person with Shuu’s personality would be pretty hilarious if we managed to get along well. Since at first sight, I appear like this really quite and polite person who’s way too nice for their own good (sort of like an even more introverted and awkward version of Kuroneki), but with people I’m really close with I suddenly turn into Haise with all of his cringe-worthy moments- plus a little bit of dry humor and sarcasm.

Haven’t got the chance to listen to all of those yet but what little I’ve heard sounds lovely! The first three and Soldier Game are my favorites, I think :)

Give it a few weeks and I’ll probably be joining you in Idol hell…

Loki’s hair is actually as long/maybe longer than Thor’s in later movies tho XD but I’m glad Thor’s getting some love! A lot of fans just characterize him as this big blonde idiot who has no clue what he’s doing, when in fact he’s grown quite a bit since the first Thor movie, where he was a reckless, hot-blooded, proud and arrogant person who really did have no clue what he was doing…sort of like musical-verse Hamilton minus his book smart nature and power of speech (isn’t that a terrifying thought?). Never knowing when to shut up and back down, which is coincidentally one of the things that damaged his relationship with Loki- who is his opposite in almost everything.

Without spoiling too much, let’s just say:

Thor is the extrovert, Loki is the introvert. Thor relies mostly on his raw physical power to get the job done (though he’s much more diplomatic now than he was in his first movie), Loki’s power lies in his words (he IS the god of lies after all) and his cunning. Thor can sometimes be a bit thick about the emotions of those around him, Loki reads people like open books and manipulates them like puppets on a string. No matter how much Thor grows up he’ll still have a bit of his old hot-tempered, non-stop personality, while Loki usually prefers to wait for it until he’s sure of the situation.

Unfortunately, Asgard (Thor and Loki’s 'home’- though Loki doesn’t consider Asgard his home anymore) values courageous warriors over quiet scholars and sorcerers like Loki. They praise honesty and boldness; Loki’s lies and illusions make them uneasy and they see him as a coward.

Despite being a prince, Loki has spent almost his whole life being identified as simply 'Thor’s brother’. People tolerate him because he’s a prince and Thor’s Brother, 'friends’ hang out with him because he’s Thor’s Brother, few openly show that they dislike him becuase he’s Thor’s Brother. Heck, when he lands on earth during the first Avengers movie, humans immediately identify him as none other than Thor’s Brother. He’s spent his entire life in Thor’s shadow.

It’s a very Burr-Hamilton relationship, and you can’t really blame Loki for wanting to be in the room where it happens.

(Also, the daddy issues.

I mean, look at what Odin and Laufey did

(SPOILERS for first Thor movie)

What Laufey (king of the frost giants) did:

1: Abandoned Loki because he was a 'runt’

2: Didn’t just abandon him; left him outside in the freezing cold in the middle of a freaking battlefield

What Odin did:

1: He rescued Loki when Laufey abandoned him because he felt sorry for the child…and also because he was planning use him as a pawn to someday make peace with the frost giants.

2: was planning to never, ever have a decent, reasonable 'you’re adopted, but you’re just as much my child as Thor is’ conversation with Loki

3: 'Yes, frost giants are terrible, bloodthirsty creatures, they are completely irredeemable’

4: some years later- 'Am I…? 'Yes, you are also a frost giant’

5: it’s heavily implied that he, like most others, always paid more attention to Thor than Loki

6: 'FATHER! I could have done it! For you…!’ 'No, Loki.’ *lets his adoptive son FALL INTO AN ABYSS IN SPACE. Like, he literally just stands there, watching Loki let go and fall to his death (well, not actually death, but that’s what it looks like)*

6: 'Both of you were born to be kings’

Later: 'All this because Loki desires a throne…YOUR BIRTHRIGHT WAS TO DIE! As a child, cast out on a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, perhaps you would not be here now to hate me.’

I don’t hate Odin as much as the rest of the fandom seems to, and I do think he had reasons for doing what he did, but the fact still stands that he can be a massive hypocrite (tells Loki that he can’t try to take over the earth because they are no different from humans in the end, then tells Thor he shouldn’t date a human woman and calls her a 'goat’) and the things he did to Loki were just cruel.

Also, Thor, though he never wanted to hurt Loki, didn’t help. From what little we got to see in the Thor movies, it seems he also thought Loki was a bit weird for his quiet nature and interest in books and magic, usually refused to listen to anything he had to say, and just took his presence for granted most of the time so that he never realized how much Loki mattered to him until he lost him.)

Ok, so I’m trying to start the fic and I’m narrowing it down to Urie, Ken, and Shuu. I mean, the obvious choice is Urie since it seems like he’s one of your faves, but Heathers is a bit of a…graphic…story and while I’ve thrown in a bit of extra fluff IT WILL NOT BE A HAPPY FIC. So. Maybe you don’t want to see your favorite character hurt that way…

Also, because it’s HEATHERS, the story that’s set in a normal high school with absolutely no sci-fi or fantasy yet manages to be almost as dark as Black Butler, I guess I should put some warnings…

Slight yandere-ish behavior, murder, bullying, very vague mentions of self-harm and suicide (nobody actually does it or did it though), implied child abuse, sort-of-smut(scene cuts off right before anything smutty actually happens), and a ton of angst

(hint: it’s probably angstier than that thing I wrote about Viktor in a TG AU)

Is this ok with you?

Last note: Heathers and DEH both have a lot of dialogue to fill up the spaces between songs so you might want to either read the plots on wikipedia or talk with me every one or two songs so I can help explain what’s going on ^^

No worries ^^ I was a bit worried though, since I though you interpreted my ‘no new fandoms until the weekend!’ as ‘no messages until the weekend’

About the new chapter (127), has there been another time skip? Also, Shuu’s back! I’m sure you’re happy to see your hubby again (･ω<)☆ And I’m so proud of Naki ;-; My boy’s finally speaking properly.

#bringSaikoback  #becauseHe’sEvilThat’sY

Wait, she confessed her love? Man, I’ve forgotten a lot of things…

Yeah, that seems about right… What a gourmet.

Mask making, then? or eating eyeballs, that also wouldn’t be so weird. 

I want Hide to come back to life and become the next Jesus or something, saving absolutely everyone, because why not? I mean, he’s Hide after all.  Rize eating Furuta would be enough to get me to read the manga again (I already am, tho, at least somewhat. It’s your fault)

Maybe Ishida’s trying to redeem himself by giving us all the lovey-dovey stuff? It’s a shitty redemption attempt, but still…  and bringing back the dead certainly is an interesting way to advance the plot. hopefully it turns out to be a good one as well. hopefully.

i understand how/why mutsuki would fall for sasaki, but it was done in a very bad time and generally doesn’t fit with anything. id be a lot happier if they went murder crazy, but without the whole sasaki obsession. just let the guy be happy for fucks sake

You’re definitely a masochist. I mean, anyone who reads TGRe is (does that make me one as well…?). The AU is my pride and joy, the best idea I’ve ever had. I mean, just imagine it. Everyone being happy and enjoying life without suffering.

I’m sure you’ll do just fine ^^ I may not have anxiety but I do know the feeling of stage-fright. I mean, just a few weeks ago, I was at the japanese speaking contest and I still remember how badly I was shaking before, during and after my speech. I was so afraid I’d mess up… and I did! I did not understand any of the questions they asked me. Only later did I realise what they were trying to say, but in the moment, I was too scared to comprehend basically anything.  However, I got through it, no matter how scared I was. So I’m sure you’ll do just as well, if not better!

All hail King Evans, the One Eyed King! Now go stop the fighting between ghouls and humans, please.

Yeah, Evans is a bit of a boyish name. My first association with it before I met you was Soul Evans, from Soul Eater, a guy.  It’s also part of the reason why I was really afraid to write anything that might delude your gender, since lots of people get mad when people assume. 

Jealous Urie would be one of the most hilarious things ever. He’s to awkward to admit it, which means he also doesn’t do anything about it. How fun.

But you still haven’t answered my question… Who would you pick to be your significant other from the other fandoms we share, like Kuroshitsuji, AoT or YoI? Or even the Avengers universe ;)  You’re not avoiding it!

Honestly, Shuu is one of those people who get along with basically everyone, so I’m sure you’d get along with him. Besides, he’s empathetic, so he’d give everyone a chance to open up.

IDOL HELL! Join us... 

Oh really? Well, I was planning on watching the first Avengers movie and the Thor movies today and tomorrow (and maybe during the next week), so I’ll definitely tell you my opinion, then ^^ But Thor has short hair in the new movie. I am definitely not satisfied =3=

The whole family has some huge issues, doesn’t it? (thor’s family)

I say Kaneki, because it’s not a happy fic and out of the three, I like him the least. 

Sure, I’m fine with basically everything at this point. TG has ruined me in the darkness of itself (i don’t know what im typing anymore, don’t question me, please)

Okay, I’ll make sure to ask you about anything I don’t understand when I start listening to it ^^