#OH YEAH not to mention how people arbitrarily decide what is too hard and what is baby mode thats what started this whole rant like what th

[izeas-null]

kinda fucked up that the only levels that "ruin" mario sunshine are either actually easy as fuck or not even necessary to beat the game—only the first 7 shines of each area are required iirc

correction: 1 required shine is hard boo hoo hoo game too hard and broken 😡 now time for me to dickride mega man and simon belmont bc a guy made a video about them 10 years ago about how every game in their series is absolute perfection (except stinky castlevania 2 and mega man 7 & 8 ew 🤢) and i am incapable of forming my own opinions

[writerofshit]

(I mentioned briefly a story of how the Stream Team met. This is that story.)

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the late night hours of a Tuesday, a convenience store is robbed. So is one several blocks southeast. And one roughly in the middle of them both. After all, what's more convenient than 24 hour chili dogs on every other street corner?

Cash. Cash is more convenient. So are guns. Hollering, waving one to get the other. Most important, back alleys that twist and turn, snaking away from increasingly distant sirens. Three individuals find themselves running through these alleys, a couple grand each weighing their pockets down.

It's through serendipity and convenience that their paths cross.

The man from the farthest store arrives first. He's done this a few more times than he'd like to admit, so he'd had a plan. Of sorts. Cut through the park, take a few sidewalks like an upstanding citizen, under the bridge and find a fire escape to utilize from there. There aren't any that reach the ground, of course, because he's smart but not quite enough.

And so this is why Trevor is standing in an dark alley, contemplating whether or not the dumpster will give him enough height to reach the ladder, when the man from the middle store appears. He's around Trevor's height, but would probably win in a fight between them, if he were so inclined. He doesn't seem to be, though. He seems shaken, like he's not quite sure how he ended up in this alley. He's holding a gun almost gingerly, as if it might bite him.

Trevor pulls his own gun.

'dont you fuckin' try anything!'

This does not go over well with Matt. He takes a step back, and then seems to remember that he also has a gun so maybe this is even footing. He holds it aloft, finger nowhere near the trigger.

'same, asshole!'

At this moment the robber from the first store arrives, also, of course, with a gun. And a mask. And an entire purple and orange neon fucking suit, actually, topped with a white cowboy hat. It gives them a few extra inches of height they are distinctly lacking, comparatively. Somewhere in the back of his head, Trevor acknowledges that this newcomer could probably kick his and the other gunman's asses. It is not a pleasant thought.

'oh, what the fuck!?'

Jeremy sounds more annoyed and less scared than one would think, considering they've run into an alley only to find two men with guns. Two men who quickly turn those guns on them.

'who the fuck are you?'

The question surprises them all, including Matt, even though he's the one who asked. As it turns out, people have a tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind when in a stressful situation. Such as, having robbed a convenience store for the very first time and immediately finding himself face to face with other apparent robbers. It would get to anyone, probably.

'i don't want any trouble, but i've already robbed someone tonight and i don't give a shit about felony murder!'

Two lies and a truth, is what Trevor has chosen to play, for some reason. In reality, one does not rob a convenience store at gun point if one is intent on staying out of trouble. And he does, in fact, care very deeply about felony murder. Felony murder is the precise reason he'd shot a bag of Doritos and not a clerk. In his defense, the clerk had initially rolled her eyes at him, asked what exactly he thought he'd get out of this. He'd found this question rude.

The truth, of course, is that he did rob a convenience store. That did happen. No take backs.

'so did i!'

Matt and Jeremy speak so in unison it's almost scary. If they didn't know any better, they'd think the two of them had always known each other.

Trevor's gun wavers between them, unsure which is the bigger threat. The guy who clearly has zero experience with guns, or the weirdo who seems to have far too much? It's a toss up, really. So his aim pinballs back and forth, but his finger does not curl around the trigger. He's serious about that felony murder thing.

The air seems to shift, suddenly, and the sound of sirens is now growing closer. This evidently also annoys Jeremy, and they throw a glance over their shoulder to the direction they'd come from. Red and blue lights flicker past.

'shit. ok. we're all robbers, i guess, and we're all fucked if we keep standing here. who's got a plan?'

Jeremy's eyes are staring impatiently at Trevor. Eyes being the only part of their face Trevor can see. And their hands, a plastic bag in one and a gun in the other.

Trigger finger is an apt name.

He glances at Matt, still wild eyed and glancing back and forth. No, Matt probably does not have a plan. He sort of gives the impression that he's never had a plan ever, actually. That perhaps he'd simply woken up here and decided to wing it. So Trevor makes an offer.

'fire escape?'

There's another moment of tense silence. Well, minus the sirens. And oh, helicopters. Even better. Jeremy shrugs.

'good a plan as any.'

And then they're off, brushing past Trevor and hoisting themself up onto the dumpster. He knew it could work. Trevor blinks and Jeremy has caught the ladder, is quickly working their way up. Shit, how does five foot something manage to get that high on a good day, much less in this situation and with a bag and gun in hand?

Matt's gun clatters to the ground, and honestly, that's probably for the best. He's climbing onto the dumpster now, and he mutters something about not signing up for this shit. Trevor reminds him that he apparently robbed someone, so yeah, he kind of did.

Before Trevor climbs up, he shoves his gun into his jacket pocket. Smart? Probably not. Convenient? More so than climbing with a gun in his hand. He follows Matt up the ladder, wondering what happened to his plan. Yeah, the ladder had been involved. Two other people, however, were not.

Above them, glass shatters.

'warning, maybe!?'

'oops. careful, there's glass.'

Jeremy's voice is no longer directly above them. Instead, it comes from one story up and a little to the left. So they've broken into an apartment. Sure, add breaking and entering to the list of charges, that sounds great. But Matt and Trevor follow, because there's not really another option.

Inside the apartment, Jeremy's mask is gone. The suit is quickly disappearing as well, revealing a rather boring outfit of a white tank top and...sweatpants? The true mystery lies in where the cowboy hat has gone to, because that's a hard item to miss.

'do we really have time for this? don't you think someone might, oh, i don't know, wake up and call the cops?'

Trevor doesn't mean to hiss, it's just that he's sure there's more pressing matters to attend to than an outfit change. Continuing to flee, perhaps.

'nobody's gonna wake up.'

They don't even have the wherewithal to lower their voice. It registers to Trevor that Jeremy's bag and gun are missing as well. Had they dropped them on the way up? It was certainly possible. Trevor thinks he would have noticed a gun flying past his head, but there's a lot going on.

'can we maybe not kill anyone? he brought up a good point with that felony murder thing.'

It's the most words Matt has strung together since he'd shown up. It's damn near a whisper, but at least it's progress.

'i'm not- god, can you two shut up? i gotta make a phone call.'

Jeremy yanks the door open, hand carefully wrapped in the fabric of their shirt. For a moment, Trevor thinks they're leaving and steps forward to follow Jeremy. Instead, Jeremy turns and heads toward the kitchen, pulling open a drawer and digging inside it briefly. They come back with a cell phone.

Something dawns on Trevor.

'is this- do you live here? did you break your own window?'

Jeremy doesn't answer. They put the phone to their ear.

'you're gonna wanna hide whatever you've got. and try not to look like you just climbed in through a window.'

And then-

'hello? yes, hi, i'd like to report a break in, i think? i was hearing a bunch of sirens and then i don't know what happened but some guy just broke my window? he ran through and i just- my friends and i are really scared and we didn't know what to do- yes, we're ok, he's gone, but we- you'll send someone? ok, thank you. the address? oh, uh, it's the del perro heights building, apartment 7. should i shut the door? no, don't touch anything. ok- guys, don't touch anything, she said someone's on their way to check on us! thank you so much- no, i think we'll be fine. thank you.'

It's a marvelous performance. Jeremy genuinely sounds like some poor flustered victim of a crime. Trevor would applaud if he thought Jeremy would appreciate it. Almost immediately, their voice is back to normal.

'check things out my ass. they're gonna show up, ask which way he went and never call me again. feel real fuckin safe.'

Jeremy settles themself onto the couch, choosing the spot closest to the door. Matt, who has apparently gotten over his initial terror, wanders into the kitchen. Searching for something to distract himself, if Trevor had to guess. Trevor is still standing in the middle of the living room, dumbfounded. How did a simple robbery become hanging out with other robbers, waiting for cops to show up?

'i'm jeremy, by the way. they won't ask, but y'know. just in case.'

They're flipping channels on the tv, seeming to arbitrarily skip almost a dozen programs. Finally, they settle on one and stand. Trevor recognizes it as an old Disney movie, and desperately wants to ask why the fuck Jeremy has put this on.

'uh, hi. i'm trevor. why are we watching Mulan?'

'matt. oh hell yeah, i love this movie!'

He sounds remarkably cheerful, considering the circumstances. How Trevor had seemingly switched places with Anxious McGee is beyond him. He needs to get it together. He pulls his gun from his pocket and takes it to the kitchen, sticking it in the drawer Jeremy had taken the phone from. There are several other phones of varying price point. He steps back to the living room just in time.

'that's why.'

They don't elaborate. Apparently Trevor is meant to just figure this out on his own, which ordinarily he might be able to do. After the course of events of this particular evening? Not a chance.

But he can't ask, because now there's a cop in the doorway and he's staring at Trevor and that will never be a good thing. Trevor stares back. He has no clue what he's meant to say. Hello? Welcome? He went that way?

'oh thank god! we've been so terrified, we didn't know if he'd come back or what he'd do.'

Naturally, Jeremy has taken lead on this. They're a phenomenal actor, Trevor has to admit.

'did you see which direction he went?'

'toward the stairs, i think. we've all been rooted to the spot, you know, it's so scary-'

Matt freezes in the doorway of the kitchen. He's just out of the view from the front door.

'right, well. you boys did the right thing by calling. can you give me a description of the man?'

The corner of Jeremy's mouth quirks.

'gosh, it all just happened so fast. taller than me, probably, but shorter than you, wouldn't you say, trey?'

Trevor nods, because he's not quite sure what else to do.

'alright, thank you. someone will be in touch with you for an official statement. in the meantime, if you remember anything else don't hesitate to call.'

He's holding a card out to Trevor, of all people. He takes it carefully, like if he does it wrong somehow the guy will know and arrest them all. The card is simply the number for a tip line.

As suddenly as he'd arrived, the cop is gone and they're all breathing sighs of relief. Jeremy closes the door.

'you guys can stay for Mulan, if you want.'

So they do.

Trevor asks about why Mulan again, and Jeremy explains that they assume most people have seen it, could answer any questions about it if they came up. Perhaps, if LSPD officers were less incompetent, they would have. Although if that were the case, they wouldn't be LSPD officers at all.

Matt asks about the window, and Jeremy says yes, they did break their own window. Of course they'd had an actual plan when they'd entered the alley. They were always going to end up exactly here, give or take the extras. Asking for a plan was simply a test, determining the merit in bring them along. They'd passed.

Jeremy asks if they want to stay for Mulan II, which is apparently up next. They do.

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the early morning hours of a Wednesday, three convenience stores are recovering from three separate robberies. Right in the middle of them all, their respective robbers are sitting on a couch together, watching a straight to video children's film.

It is the beginning of something far greater than any of them can imagine.

[pinnithin]

invited home

This started as a “haha funnie gman eat a pizza” fic and turned into a soft little story about family. 3406 words.

Remembering etiquette was, perhaps, the hardest part of this.

The “hardest part of this” changed pretty frequently — often associated with whatever he was dealing with at the time. The week that took Gordon’s hand and very nearly his life was several months behind him, but he still heard the echoes of the Resonance Cascade in little things as the days passed. He heard it in the low hum of the air conditioner in his window and the backfire of a tailpipe outside. He kept the lights on at night and heard the echoes in his sleep.

It would never really go away, he guessed.

The best he could do, dealing with the hardest part of whatever his day brought him, was to simply keep living. A clockwork routine grounded him. He did normal things like buy groceries and hike in the county foothills - sometimes alone, sometimes with Tommy. Black Mesa and all the horrors it held may have broken the two of them, but they were slowly putting the pieces of each other back together.

So it shouldn’t have surprised him when he invited him to dinner with his father, right?

They were... well, they were something. Gordon found it difficult to call Tommy his boyfriend when they’d crash landed straight from acquaintances to partners in Black Mesa. The guy was the only reason Gordon was still alive, and he felt that he’d be repaying that act of kindness for the rest of his days. That sort of unwarranted devotion wasn’t exactly grounds for a normal courtship.

But this is what people did. They bought groceries and went for walks and had dinner with family. Tommy was offering this ritual to Gordon in an attempt to ground him, just like he helped him establish his other routines. It was in his best interest to take it.

The one story adobe in Sandia Heights was far more nondescript than Gordon was expecting, fitted cozily into the neighborhood on a street named Desert Finch Lane. It was evening, and the setting sun washed the walls a soft pink. The front lawn was xeriscaped with a bed of gravel and some strategic placements of yucca and saguaro, and a straight stone path marched right up to the front door. Gordon checked his phone one more time before he exited his vehicle - this house seemed far too normal to belong to someone like Tommy’s father.

No, the address Tommy sent him matched the numbers on the mailbox. Briefly, he glanced over the rest of the conversation as he reached with a free hand to kill the ignition.

T: Only if you want to! I know the last time you spoke was kind of weird... G: its fine it was a weird day haha G: no yeah id love to though G: do i need to bring anything? T: :D T: I guess you can if you want? It’s not going to be fancy or anything - we’ll probably order takeout. T: We just like to get together every month or so to catch up and I wanted to bring you along this time! No pressure. G: oh is this like G: a family thing? T: Well, yeah. Is that okay? G: its great! just checking G: see you then

T: :) T: See you.

A smile touched his mouth. Tommy rarely asked Gordon for anything, so he knew this was important to him even if he downplayed it. Gordon wouldn’t say he was a fan of Tommy’s father, but if Tommy wanted him to smooth things over after the Black Mesa incident, well, he’d try. For him, he’d try.

He didn’t know if Tommy’s father drank, so he passed on the wine, deciding instead that one can never go wrong with garlic bread. His eyes fell to the loaf he’d picked up from Albertson’s on his way over, still warm and wrapped in a foil package in the passenger seat.  He’d done the meet-the-parents dance a few times before - a lifetime ago, it felt - but none of his partners had ever mattered this much to him, and none of their fathers had ever been gods.

Remembering etiquette, he reflected, was the hardest part of this.

He slid out of the car, taking the bread with him, and marched up to the front door. It was painted a bright turquoise with the word Bienvenidos scripted across the middle in white decal letters. This struck him as odd, because Tommy’s father didn’t seem the type to care about suburban design motifs, but he only hesitated a moment before raising a fist to rap his knuckles on the door.

Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open, and relief rolled over Gordon when he saw it was Tommy in the doorway. He was dressed in his usual button up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and he smiled like a sunrise. Gordon grinned back. He didn’t think the rush of affection that overtook him every time he laid eyes on the man would ever really fade. 

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Tommy answered, still smiling. “Come on in.”

He stepped back to allow Gordon entry, and his presence somewhat quelled Gordon’s trepidation as he crossed the threshold into Mr. Coolatta’s house. 

“I hope garlic bread is okay,” he said as Tommy shut the door behind him. His eyes caught the neat line of shoes in the entryway, and he began jimmying his sneakers off. “I wasn’t sure what we were having.”

“It’s perfect,” Tommy answered, turning from the door. He watched Gordon attempting to remove his shoes without the help of his hands with a hint of amusement. “Um, do you want me to take that?” he asked, indicating the bread.

“I’ve got it,” Gordon muttered distractedly, finally kicking off one shoe and then the other. “You didn’t grow up here, did you?”

Tommy watched the sneakers go flying down the hall, a laugh in his eyes, but he didn’t comment. “God, no,” he answered. “Dad downsized a couple years ago.” He paused, flicking a brief look around the room, before adding, “He decorated the place himself.”

Gordon followed Tommy’s gaze. It looked like a house, at a glance. There were throw pillows on the leather couch and an artificial plant rested tastefully on the coffee table. Picture frames and various ornaments adorned the mantle, functionally useless objects stuffed between photos of the Coolatta family through the years. His eyes caught a decorative globe, some pillar candles, and a geometric silver figurine before landing on a sunny portrait of a smiling child - Tommy, he guessed. A wall hanging of colorful overlapping rectangles covered the space next to the south window.

All at once, Gordon felt he was in a place that was trying very hard to be a house, without quite knowing what a house’s qualifying factors were. Aside from the photos, the only clue to the owner’s tastes was the record player against the far wall, crackling out music from a time period Gordon didn’t recognize. Something with a strange time signature and a dreamlike melody. It was possible the song was from an era that had not yet happened.

He looked back to Tommy and found him studying his face. “It’s nice,” he offered summarily.

Tommy laughed quietly through his nose. “I think he just went to the home decor section of Target and picked out some stuff he liked,” he said.

“Oh,” Gordon replied. “Y’know, now that you say it - yeah. Yeah, I can see that.” 

Tommy didn’t exactly look uncomfortable with Gordon’s presence in his father’s house, but he didn’t seem wholly relaxed either. The set of his shoulders betrayed him, as did his hands, which fidgeted at the seams of his pockets before extending to take the bread from him.

“Here, let me - we can put this in the kitchen,” he said, gesturing behind him. 

It was possible that etiquette slipped his mind as frequently as it did Gordon’s, and that made him feel a little better about the whole thing. He should have assumed as much - he and Tommy both used the skeleton of routine to prop themselves up, despite the fact that they found social rules tiresome at best. A necessary framework for people like them. Gordon allowed Tommy to take the package from his arms and followed him down the hall. 

The kitchen was a little more homey, if only for the healthy clutter of appliances on the counter. Two boxes from Dion’s Pizza sat on the island, and seeing them pulled an audible sigh of relief from Gordon.

Tommy noticed. “Yeah, we’re not - we don’t cook a lot around here,” he admitted, sliding the package of garlic bread next to the pizza.

“That makes me feel better about bringing over store bought bread,” Gordon chuckled. “Where’s uh,” he darted a glance around the room, as if the man in question would materialize if he mentioned him aloud. “Where’s your dad at, anyway?”

“Oh, he’s...” Tommy finished his sentence with a vague wave of his hand. “He’ll show up sooner or later.”

He didn’t seem concerned, as if his father disappearing to another time and place arbitrarily was something that happened a lot. It made sense - Tommy was self-sufficient to the point of being an outright loner - and Gordon guessed that Mr. Coolatta’s inhuman qualities probably didn’t lend to a very warm upbringing.

Tommy was watching him, observant as always. “He’s not really a bad person,” he said at length. “He just… he sees things differently.”

“Shit, man,” Gordon laughed and shook his head. “Sometimes I think you can read my mind.”

“Oh, I never told you?” Tommy responded, raising his eyebrows impishly. 

He didn’t seem to want to discuss his father any further, so Gordon laughed at Tommy’s joke and didn’t press it. They fell into a comfortable discussion, standing together in the kitchen and waiting on the third member of their little party. This part Gordon knew how to do - speaking with Tommy always felt like coming home, and while they were still learning things about each other, he never felt any pressure to behave in a way that wasn’t his whole, genuine self. He saw the slope of Tommy’s shoulders slowly relaxing while they talked, and felt himself mirroring him as the minutes ticked by.

Tommy’s father materialized in the time it took for Gordon to blink, one moment absent and the next present. Spooked, Gordon jumped slightly at his appearance, while Tommy uttered an unaffected and congenial, “hey, Dad.”

Mister Coolatta stood under the kitchen lights exactly how Gordon remembered him. His suit was as smooth and clean as his hair,  and he wondered if the man even thought about wearing anything else, much less owned a varied wardrobe. Tommy’s father was, in many ways, like Tommy himself. Tall and neat and watchful. Seeing them side by side, it was easier to envision them as family, and Gordon no longer wondered where Tommy picked up his carefully neutral expression from.

The man in the suit fixed his cool gaze on Gordon. “Mister Freeman,” he said. “It is, hm, good to see you again.”

Gordon extended a hand before he could lose his nerve. This was what people did. And while Tommy’s father may not necessarily be a person, that was no reason for Gordon to deny him the courtesy of a handshake.

“You too, sir,” he answered. “Happy to be here.”

Tommy’s father paused for a moment, studying Gordon’s outstretched hand with interest. “I trust the hand hasn’t been giving you trouble since your little incident?”

“Uh,” Gordon faltered only for a moment. “No. It’s been just fine.”

“Dad,” Tommy intoned quietly, passing a glance between his father and Gordon.

This spurred the man in the suit to recall etiquette, himself, and then Gordon was shaking hands with a god.

It was surprisingly normal, all things considered. His grip wasn’t quite as solid as Gordon expected, though that was less a testament to his grip strength than it was to his short-of-corporeal nature. His skin felt like something that was pretending to be skin, and it was the same temperature as the air around them. But he nodded and looked Gordon in the eye like any other man, so he guessed he’d had worse handshakes before in his life. 

Mr. Coolatta released him and angled his head to his son. “Forgive me for my lateness, I… had to take care of some things on the ah, ‘out-side,’ as it were.”

“It’s fine, Dad,”  Tommy answered, then added, “I picked up the pizza.”

His father’s eyes lit on the boxes, seemingly for the first time. “Dion’s,” he observed. “Excellent choice.”

After a short, awkward silence, Gordon blurted, “should we eat?” and Tommy sighed a grateful “yes,” before nudging his father toward the dining room.

As Gordon took a step to gather the pizzas into his arms, he felt Tommy skate his fingers delicately across the inside of his palm. 

“Thank you,” he murmured in his ear, quiet and just for him.

Gordon wasn’t sure what exactly Tommy was thanking him for, but he caught his hand before he could withdraw and gave a reassuring squeeze. He was warm and solid and alive, and it anchored him.

“We got this,” he told Tommy, smiling.

The dining room was another testament to Mr. Coolatta’s decorating tastes. Gordon was not quite successful in withholding a chuckle when he noticed a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the wall, and this earned him a gentle elbow in the ribs from his partner. Tommy was carrying a set of plates and silverware in one hand and some napkins in another.

When Gordon offered to help set the table, Tommy only shook his head mischievously, and the cutlery leapt from his hands on their own.

Right. He was dating a demigod. This was a detail Gordon often forgot about, if only for the fact that Tommy displayed his power in subtle, quiet ways that went unnoticed. Here, however, he had no such reservations.

This was a Tommy Gordon hadn’t gotten to see yet, and he caught himself staring as he set the table without even touching a plate. He handled himself with an ease he didn’t show out in public, manipulating space with a well-practiced comfort that indicated years of doing it this way. A Coolatta ritual, for Coolattas only. Gordon, an outsider, felt his nervousness slowly melt into gratitude at being invited to the table. He understood now - Tommy didn’t want Gordon here just to smooth things over with his father. He wanted to share his life with him, every jigsawed piece of it. 

Conversation was easier than anticipated. Tommy led the discussion at first, updating his father on his new job at the VLA in Socorro. Working with radios in the quiet desert, listening to the stars, seemed to suit him, and the fondness with which he recalled his nighttime shifts alone was genuine. Gordon tucked into his slice of 505 (pepperoni and green chile) and watched Mr. Coolatta’s facial expression as he absorbed the information.

The man sat perfectly still except to give acknowledging nods here and there, and his pizza remained untouched on his plate. At least, that was Gordon’s first assumption, until he realized the slice was gradually disappearing bite by bite every time he looked away. Mr. Coolatta’s face was impassive as always when Gordon gave him a questioning look, and when Tommy didn’t acknowledge the mystical pizza disappearance, he chose not to say anything about it.

“Mister Freeman,” the man in the suit said after a time, turning his swirling gaze on his guest. “It is my under-standing that you… have a new profession, as well?”

Gordon, figuring he’d picked up the “Mister Freeman” thing  from Tommy, didn’t bother to correct him. “Yeah, I’m teaching physics at NMT,” he answered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy an academic environment all that much, choosing to teach as a backup while he pursued streaming in the meantime, but he was developing a fondness for it. His students were bright individuals, and some of them were just as weird as he was, which kept his days interesting.

Gordon wasn’t one to discuss his new job at length with anyone. It felt strange, after everything he lived through, to complain about something as trivial as grading papers or writing coursework. But Mr. Coolatta was among a handful of individuals who knew exactly what happened to him during his employment at Black Mesa, so he felt what he said next was entirely understood by everyone at the table.

“It’s a nice change of pace,” he added. “Things are better.”

“Yes,” Tommy’s father answered. “I have… heard the same from Tommy. It is, good to know that the two of you are, hm, recovering well.”

His tone was one step away from apologetic, and Gordon was sure he imagined it, but he was touched by the sentiment nonetheless. Tommy smiled softly down at his plate and didn’t say anything. They were recovering well, weren’t they? Finding a place for themselves. Learning how to be human again.

Gordon wasn’t sure, at first, if it would ever be possible. The Resonance Cascade was the worst thing that ever happened to him, but… Tommy was the best thing that ever happened to him. And even with all the complicated emotions that surrounded the Coolatta family, he was happy to be here. He was happy to see that small, private smile cross Tommy’s face. 

The evening concluded with Gordon and Mr. Coolatta getting into a discussion about whether a hotdog was actually a sandwich, with Tommy joining in as moderator and rewarding imaginary points as they each went over their arguments. They wiped out the pizzas handily between the three of them. When Gordon had to excuse himself to begin the drive back to Socorro, Mr. Coolatta initiated another handshake with him. It was only a little less weird the second time. 

“I’ll walk you out to your car,” Tommy offered.

The setting sun bled a soft orange onto the neighborhood as the two of them left the house. Tommy kept his hands in his pockets, just barely brushing shoulders with Gordon as they went.

“Thank you,” he said again.

“Yeah, thanks for inviting me,” Gordon responded. “It was nice.”

They pulled to a stop next to the station wagon. “Sorry Dad’s so…” Tommy trailed off and shrugged. “Like that,” he finished.

His eyes were down, studying the sidewalk as he scuffed the sole of his shoe on the concrete. His expression was drawn, but Gordon could see from the crinkle of his eyes that he was happy with how the night turned out. 

“Hey,” Gordon said.

Tommy’s eyes flicked up to meet his. His gaze was sharp and watchful, cutting Gordon in a way he found he liked.

“Don’t feel like you need to apologize for your dad,” Gordon said. “He’s cool. And I’m… Like, I’m glad you wanted me there. I had a good time,” he rambled further, “and it’s - I haven’t been to dinner with someone in a long time, and it was just - like it was really nice to just talk about stuff with family like that.”

Tommy’s mouth split into a smile, face flushing slightly as Gordon said the word ‘family.’ “Yeah,” he agreed. “It was nice. This is - we should do this again.”

The fact that there would be a next time sent a rush of emotion into Gordon’s chest. He loved Tommy, loved how trusting he was to invite him to such a private part of his life. Certainly this was difficult for him to do, but he allowed Gordon Freeman, of all people, to cross the threshold and see inside. He was close enough to be considered family. Sheer affection made him dizzy.

Tommy’s smile was infectious, causing Gordon to grin outright. “I’ll see you back home later?” he asked.

“Mm hm,” Tommy nodded. He leaned in, but stopped short when Gordon held up a hand in protest.

“Uh,” he intoned, pointing. “Your dad is totally watching us from the window.”

Tommy glanced over his shoulder and caught the dark visage of his father beyond the glass. He rolled his eyes, still smiling, and gestured with a hand. The curtains snapped shut at his command. “No, he isn’t,” he said.

They kissed on the curb, Gordon laughing softly into Tommy’s mouth. He was home already.

[janiedean]

Amazing how you can erase and twist everything someone says and not even bother to check things before launching in your 1000 words answer where you repeat the same things over and over again. When I say “Theon’s story is about destroying death”, I AM talking about his trauma and abuse. I’m not saying that Theon is a superhero, I’m saying that Theon’s story is literally about surviving and saying no to the dying of light, he’s always been trapped between life and death. How is that less meaningful than Jon being AA just because he’s special. Jon is stereotypical, not matter how much you deny it. He is the bastard son of the “good” Ned Stark that everyone seems to venerate, he becomes important, he’s actually a prince, and heir to the kingdom, he’s going to come back from the dead and apparently it’s not enough because he’s also AA. Also “I search for AA and see only Snow”, how is that not a red flag? Didn’t you think that it could be about Ramsay hiding Theon? I didn’t say that everything is about mythology and ancient literature, I said Theon has a lot of connections to it, connections that are hard not to notice, that actually make sense and are not taken out of nowhere like everyone in this fandom does. Theon’s story is about himself, not about Bran or any Stark, you’re just obsessed with throbb. Theon is connected to magic and to the gods, Theon is the rightful king of the Iron Islands, so why it’s so amusing to people when someone suggests that Theon has something to do. I’m not saying that Theon has to be important for his story to count, but why it’s so amusing to people the idea that Theon is an abuse and rape victim and at the same time he has something to do. When it comes to female victims, they want them to do great things, when it comes to Theon they constantly reduce him to poor say boy, but Theon is not like that, Theon is in pain and he wants everything to end, but he’s also angry and he wants to be free. I didn’t say that he has to explore the sea because he’s an Ironborn, you said that, not me. I think that that’s something Book!Theon would want to do if he survives everything. Because he would be free and he would go into the unknown. That’s not true Theon has no connection to the sea, the Drowned God himself wants him as king and he likes ships, there’s also the fact that he never learned how to use a ship because he was kidnapped at 10. Also what’s so wrong about him connecting with his culture? He could change things, he wouldn’t be a viking, he would be an explorer. The way you talk about it, it’s like dealing with trauma means closing himself in an house. And about the prophecy, what’s so amusing about saying that Theon has a lot that fits? I know that the prophecy is vague, but Davos and Stannis don’t come close to it as Theon does. Theon died in almost every possible way and managed to come back on his own. He keeps saying that he died in Winterfell. Read the last chapters in ACOK, it’s all there and it all happens at the same time, and still there’s so much more, so many things. And it’s like this HAS to be true, but you say no to everything, you don’t even think that he has something to do with the Iron Islands, you just think he has to “atone” to Bran, so how are you different from D&D? Theon doesn’t have to atone to Bran, Robb or anyone else called Stark, his story is about identity. And Bran is talking to Theon and yes, Theon took Winterfell, but it’s not the only reason their stories are connected, Theon taking Winterfell from Bran was a foreshadowing to them interacting in the future for different more important reasons, that was always clear to me

... anon never mind that I hadn't talked about this in ages so like you came into my inbox with some 500 words of replying at 8 am on a sunday morning and idk how *I* am supposedly twisting things when

you brought this out of nowhere

I hadn't talked about the AA thing nor anything wrt theon's ending in like... a year

you are basically making up half of what I said or didn't because like 'oh I didn't say he had a tying to the sea because he's an ironborn' but two lines later you say 'what's the issue if he reconnects with his ancestry' which.... means that he'd have a tie to the sea because he's an ironborn so what's the truth here

'you're obsessed with throbb' I didn't mention robb once in my entire answer nor throbb nor I have written throbb meta recently like... I ship throbb but I don't see how that has any relevance to an answer where I literally didn't mention it and I said theon's sl can't be just about the starks

idk why you seem to think I have great stakes re jon snow and 'he's stereotypical no matter how much you say he's not', I'm saying that for a chosen one archetype he's a deconstruction so he's not stereotypical in the way h*rry p*tter is or aragorn is or whatever and it's like objective text and honestly I have fic to write and stuff to do and I could have like completely ignored your ask and said 'I think you're wrong' instead yesterday I spent half an hour answering you like... you don't need to sound that aggressive or come at me with this entire block of text when I wasn't even the one starting this conversation

what’s so amusing about saying that Theon has a lot that fits?

anon I explained in those 1k reply or whatever all the reasons why everything theon has that fits is something every single other character has at that point dany has the exact same reasons for fitting it and I told you all the reasons why jon has extra things that fit that no one else has, like.... it's my opinion, I haven't changed my mind since 2012 on it, you aren't going to change it and no one is until grrm writes different, you don't need to convince me or look for me to validate your reading because you can have whichever reading you want and no one stops you, I just don't think it's correct, the end

The way you talk about it, it’s like dealing with trauma means closing himself in an house.

anon you keep on saying I say that but you are aware that if I say I want char X to get their little house in the village/woods/city of their choice and grow strawberries with their loved ones and be happy I'm not saying what you said and I'm talking abt endgame? jaime and brienne both also deal with trauma and when I say that I hope they get married on tarth have fifteen kids and never set foot in a court again I'm not saying having children is the only way to deal with trauma like.... one thing is the endgame one thing is how you get there, where did I say theon is gonna lock himself in a cottage in wow and stay there until ados? nowhere, like.... please a bit of chill here? you read a thing and arbitrarily decided it meant stuff it doesn't mean but I am the one twisting and erasing? like sorry but it sounds like you want a fight about it or smth and believe me fighting about who is AA is not on my list of to-do things for today, also 'I died in winterfell' is like... yeah, theon greyjoy died in wf then he became reek then he became theon again, it's metaphorical, jon literally died, also like if AA wasn't a main fiver then it'd probably be someone completely out of left field that no one gaf about and for that matter there's a character who has been dying and coming back to life who has a flaming sword since like acok, but do I see you telling me it's textual proof beric is AA? no, but that would make more textual sense than theon imvho so *shrug*

in short: anon sorry but it sounds like being that theon is your fave - which... I mean he's in my top three so I agree that he's a great fave choice - you want him desperately to have the main role in the main storyline which is imvho not the case and again... even if jon was stereotypical (which we can argue on but like... from your wording I think you hate jon ngl which fair enough everyone has their dislikes) it wouldn't make the textual evidence less evidence and like... idk how to say it nicely but not liking the protagonist is more common than not and if you don't whatever but that doesn't mean he's not and that the textual stuff indicating he has the mystical hero storyline doesn't exist, I'd suggest you make peace with that concept and with the concept that your fave doesn't need to have any specialness in their sl to be a legitimate fave, also like... in asoiaf everyone who is special™ has a shit life and when grrm says he wants a bittersweet ending like in lotr, do I have to remind anyone what was lotr's ending? samwise gamgee goes back to his little house and children and wife in the shire and says he's home and we're all happy that the dude who deserved it most got it great, if that's what he's aiming for I really don't think presuming everyone gets the magical great™ storyline is in the cards X°D but most of all: again, everyone who's had a sl being full of magic prophecies and shit in these books has had a crap life and hated every second of it that was related to those prophecies and I want theon to be happy at the end so in lack of any imvho text proof that says it's anyone but jon I'll stick with that because it means none of my faves is in line to hate their life, which is exactly what happens to jon if he's AA and exactly what I think is gonna happen and I don't particularly like that for him either bc I do want jon to have nice things but idt he'll get them, doesn't mean I'm trying to find any textual reason to decide on my own that AA is dany (a char I care a lot less about) so that she gets the brunt of it because that's now how it works, I made peace with it too X°D

[shounenforgirls]

i’m not in love

an excerpt from my erejean wip. high school au, 1,429 words. T-rated.

It was an evening after detention when Eren first realized it.

Jean had passed by him at the bus stop and offered to drive him home– as an apology for ripping your shirt and scratching your cheek went unsaid. Jean does not apologize, but Eren knew better.

A part of him wanted to say, no, I'd rather wait for an hour to catch the last bus than sitting beside you in your old sedan, but it was getting dark and Eren could practically hear his mother yelling at him for coming home late.

Another ego crushed. As Eren climbed into the passenger seat, a faint smell of coffee entered his nostrils. His eyes wandered around the interior of the car, and a little bag filled with coffee beans at the corner near the steering wheel caught his attention. Must be the source of the smell. 

Jean got into the car shortly after putting his stuff on the trunk. He started the car, wiggling on his seat. "You live in the same neighborhood as Armin, right?"

"Yeah. Just several blocks from his house."

"Cool." The blond moved to reach for the glove compartment, which should be a completely innocent gesture if it wasn't for the musky scent and the warmth radiating from his exposed skin.

Thump, thump.

After half a minute of Jean messing up the compartment in front of Eren and Eren shifting nervously in his seat due to the close proximity of their bodies, Jean found his CD and put the radio on. The first song that played had a guitar riff that sounded experimental and rough at times– and Eren thought that if Jean was a song, this would be it.

When the chorus hit, Eren decided that he liked the song.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" Jean asked, cigarette already dangling on his lips and a lighter on his hand. He lit the cigarette, not giving Eren the chance to answer. 

"Why do you even bother to ask, bastard." Eren said, rhetorically. 

The car finally moved.

"I know you smoke too, so automatically, you wouldn't mind." 

"You know I smoke and didn't offer me, and instead asking me a stupid question that you already know the answer to?"

"Force of habit, jeez. I actually care about other people's wellbeing. I don't smoke arbitrarily, unless around people who also want to die fast." He emphasized the die fast, which pissed Eren off even more somehow. 

"So, if you happen to be one of those people who also want to shorten their lifespan, feel free to open the compartment and take one out of the box." 

"How generous of you." Eren said, tone dripping with sarcasm. He did exactly as Jean said, though. After a particularly rough day, it only felt natural to want to smoke. 

The car ride was devoid of words. It was only music, Jean's hum, the left and right that came out of Eren's mouth every once in a while, and the sound of late summer wind passing by the open windows of the car. This was their first time sitting beside each other in silence, in peace. No words means no arguments. He took a quick glance at Jean, who was covered in the warm hue of street lights. Jean, whose perfectly gelled hair is now disheveled from their fight earlier. Jean, whose steady gaze upon the road made him look slightly older. Between the drag of Jean's cigarette and the rhythmic taps of his fingers on the steering wheel, Eren found a strange comfort. He felt like somehow he could get used to this.

"...Ger. Hey, asshole." Jean called, voice raised.

"Uh. What?"

"What the hell are you zoning out for?" 

"Nothing." Eren thanked whatever God out there for the dim light surrounding them (and the bandage sticking just right under his cheekbone, too), concealing the shade of pink rising on his cheeks. 

Jean let out a sigh. "Can I ask you something? This is kind of embarrassing, but…"

Eren swore, even in the dark– that Jean's cheeks had the same color as his.

Thump, thump, thump.

"...Does Mikasa hate me? I mean– you know how much of a creep I was. I always wanted to apologize to her for my behavior, but I'm not even sure how to do it."

Eren felt a sharp pang of disappointment at the question. He hadn’t the slightest idea why. Disappointment comes from expectation, and what did he particularly expect from Jean? (There was a hint of jealousy in that disappointment, but of course Eren quickly dismissed it, just like he always do to his other feelings and emotions.)

Jean does not apologize. Eren knew better. 

Or he might not know anything at all.

No, Mikasa doesn't hate you.

Eren let out a forced laugh. "What do you think a girl would feel when some random boy is pestering her for a whole year?"

She was bothered, yes, but to her, hate is a strong word.

He saw that Jean was about to open his mouth, so he quickly shut him down. "I personally would hate that guy. What a pest. I don't know about her, though. Maybe I can ask later."

I would not ask her. I would not let you know, ever.

"...I see." Jean murmured. "Yeah. Please do."

It's funny how I could see right through you. How you are clearly offended yet still play it cool. 

The car ride went silent again. The music was still there, but this time indistinct– overlapped by the deafening echoes of Eren's heartbeat, and a voice in his head telling him scornful things. 

You're aware that he's trying to be a better man.

You could've been nicer to him.

You always ruin everything.

.

"Which one is your house?" Jean asked, after five minutes that felt agonizingly long. 

"There," Eren pointed. "The one with a Jeep in front of it."

The taller boy whistled, steering to the left. "Nice Jeep. Your dad's?" 

"Brother's."

"Shit, I often forget you have a brother." Jean parked the car, right behind the Jeep.

As Eren unbuckled his seatbelt, he inhaled deep. This might be his first and last ride in Jean's car, and a part of him did not want to forget both the smell of coffee and Jean's (most likely) hundred dollar perfume.

You could've been nicer to him.

"By the way, where did you get that coffee air freshener from?"

Jean raised his eyebrow at the unusual question and Eren had a momentary regret of opening his dumb mouth.

"A convenience store near my house, if I remember correctly."

"Oh. Thanks. Um, for the ride too." Eren said, words heavy on his tongue.

"Don't mention it."

And when the car door opened halfway, Eren felt a sudden grab on his wrist. 

"Jaeger."

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

"Look, I'm sorry about the scar. And your shirt. I could pay… for the shirt, I mean."

Jean does not apologize. At least that's what Eren thought.

I thought I knew you.

I should be nicer to you.

"It's fine. We fight all the time, anyway. Also this is an old shirt, I don't really care about it."

The blond exhaled, loosening his grip on Eren's wrist. 

I don't want you to let go.

Jean gave him a lopsided smile. "Alright. See you, Eren."

The car door slammed shut. As Eren walked through his yard, he felt giddy, floating. Two steps into the house and his mother was already bombarding him with questions– and questions quickly turned into a lecture. 

It was hard to pay attention to what she was saying when the grip of Jean's hand was still lingering, warm on his skin– and there was a tempest inside him that grew louder, wilder when he thought about that parting smile.

Eren spent the rest of the night shifting around in his bed, trying to ignore the voice in his head telling him that he would like to see Jean again, too– and not just a mere passing by each other in the school hallway or some petty arguments near the parking lot. He wants to see Jean in the morning, during lunch break, after the last bell rings. In his waking hours and before he closes his eyes.

He went to sleep dismissing all his wants– burying them as deep as it could go, hoping that when he wakes up tomorrow morning they would leave him without any trace. The room felt much warmer than usual and the dream that he had that night certainly wasn’t helping, not in the least.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Come Back to Haunt You || Morgan & Agnes

TIMING: This Evening

PARTIES: @mor-beck-more-problems & Agnes Bachman (written by @chloeinbetween)

SUMMARY: The past haunts; so does family. Agnes wants this time to be different.

CONTAINS: brief references to parental abuse

Morgan felt half ghost as she cleaned the kitchen. Her fingers slipped on everything she touched, cracking dishes without her noticing. It was the cotton fog of death, partially. But it was also the weight of the last few weeks on Morgan’s soul, which pulled on her as though she was coming unglued from her body. Maybe she would simply come out of her trance and find herself floating over her bed, phasing through her life, or what broken pieces passed for her life these days. Morgan shuddered. She didn’t feel pain the way the living did, but it still dwelled in her, trapped and hungry for ways out. Unwilling to run the risk of destroying the rest of her dishware, Morgan went outside to the pool and sank her feet in the water, watching the lights along the walls dance as she kicked her feet. She had centuries ahead of her of this, if she was lucky: more mortal bullshit, more loss, more suffering. Maybe if she hadn’t been so worn out from living with Constance’s curse, she wouldn’t feel so tired. But staring down at her warbled reflection, she couldn’t imagine these last few weeks not breaking anyone.

The evening wind rippled the water and Morgan’s reflection split in two. Or not quite. Morgan squinted closer before remembering she could look over her shoulder. “Agnes,” she breathed. “How are you here? I thought Blanche’s circle sent you back to Texas. Is everything okay?” Too much. Even Morgan couldn’t sit up with that. She gave her (great-great) grandmother as much of a smile as she could muster, relieved to see her face however sad it looked. “Why don’t you come sit, or...float, I guess. There’s plenty of room out here.”

Agnes hadn’t known it would be like this to cross these distances. Her space in Texas had been hers for decades. It held her like gravity once had, but after Morgan’s visit, she’d felt pulled in two directions. Maybe there was something more here than her restless in between that had lingered over the decades. It had not been easy, but she had made her way across the continent to here. It was almost as if White Crest had been calling her. Perhaps it was Constance. Perhaps it was Morgan herself. She hovered, looking over Morgan at their shared reflections. “I do not know if everything is okay.” She sat, slowly, looking over the pool. “I felt like I was needed here, with you…. And Constance. So I came.”

Morgan watched Agnes sit. This was the kind of nonsense she’d dreamed up as a lonely kid: a kind, magical woman showing up out of the blue and sitting next to her with no reasoning beyond ‘you needed me.’ No blame, no yelling, no guilt. Just someone who gave a shit about her enough to come. To try. If Morgan didn’t have so much experience with her own mental instability, she might have suspected she was imagining Agnes. She waited a second, still staring at her, tears welling up, and then she laughed. A sad one, heavy, ready to crack into sobs at any moment. “You just...came, huh?” She scrubbed her eyes, laughing still. “I’m sorry this is just...we didn’t get to talk much last time, so you don’t know that things were already bad for me, but somehow since then, it’s actually gotten worse.” She sniffled, smiling wryly. “And uh, you are the first family I’ve had show up for me without giving me any shit right off the bat. Ever. Even counting the live family that used to know me.” She didn’t want to think about Constance. She knew she was putting people at risk dragging her feet on this magic ‘source,’ but tracking down someone worth destroying felt easier said than done, and Morgan lacked the strength to do more than go through the motions and keep the people she had left it check most days. She tried to put her thoughts of the ritual aside. “Kinda sucks that we had to die to meet, but what can ya do?” She shrugged, trying to shake the bitter angst off of her, and gave Agnes a sincere, watery smile. “It’s good to see you, Agnes...grandma, whatever you want me to call you. Not sure if there’s anything you can do, but thank you.”

Carefully poised, Agnes only shifted a little in concern as she noticed the tears welling up in Morgan’s eyes just from her presence. It didn’t occur to her that she might be the cause until Morgan laughed just as suddenly. “Morgan?” She asked cautiously, too used to being a ghost to make any offer of physical affection. “Things have gotten worse? How do you mean? Has Constance done something else?” Agnes asked, looking around in the dark. Her heart ached at Morgan’s simple admission. For all the suffering Constance had caused, she had also done this: she had slowly turned Agnes’ family into canyons and cliff faces, hard and windworn to withstand their constant suffering. Sometimes, they had become cruel to survive the cruelty, and in the end it had still not served them. 

“I am so sorry, Morgan. Agnes will do. I might be able to do something.” I need to be able to do something, Agnes didn’t say. She could neither stand by in ignorance as Constance tried to kill Morgan a second time, nor could she stand the thought of Constance being destroyed forever. There had to be something else, an option that only she could help with. Agnes was too coward to consider any other alternative. “If nothing else, I can listen.”

“Oh, no,” Morgan sighed. “I almost wish Constance had done something for the sake of distraction. If she’d been the one who’d been in charge of the last few weeks, I think I would actually stop having to convince people that I have a point about her.” She winced, remembering Agnes’ horror when she’d mentioned her plans during the seance. “Well, the ‘bad’ part before we met was a friend of mine dying really horribly, and my relationship falling apart, you know, after my closest friends decided they don’t really get what I’m trying to do with this...ritual thing. Which, apparently, requires a blood sacrifice. So that’s fun.” Morgan let out a shaky breath. “And now I just...feel so lost and tired. An amazing feeling, really, when you can’t sleep to save your life. I almost died once or twice, but that’s just White Crest for you. And I know the longer Constance is out there, the more dangerous she becomes, but I want to get this right. I don’t have much propping myself up right now, so I need to make sure this gets done right.” She smiled sadly at Agnes. “I know you don’t like it either. Maybe it’s hard, with how well you used to know her and how sorry you are about what happened. But I don’t think you deserve what she did to you. I don’t think any of us do. I’m just trying to balance what I can, you know?”

As Morgan spoke, her legs shifted slightly in the water, which in turn made tiny ripples, breaking up Agnes’s reflection as she looked down at the two of them. In so many ways, they looked alike, and were alike. Morgan’s heart was weary with isolation of her own design, but unlike Agnes she would not back down. It just wasn’t serving her any more than Agnes’s own choices had served her. The only comfort she could offer now was her company, and her quiet, patient listening as Morgan talked about it. “A blood sacrifice?” She echoed. “I’m so sorry. You should not have to carry so much in your life.” It was empty comfort, but it was all she had to give Morgan. “I have seen so much pain stemming from that fateful day. Perhaps you would understand why I might wish to avoid more.” Agnes sighed deeply, shifting closer to Morgan. She could not offer an arm of comfort around her. “I do not know that it is a question of deserve. I just wish for this all to end. I never wanted so many of you to suffer for my choices like this.” She hadn’t ever planned to have a bloodline to curse. She ought to have ended this a century ago, but then like now she had been permissive, letting others expectations and desires dictate her action. No, that wasn’t exactly true, was it? It was her own cowardice, over and over, that had lead them here. “What do you hope to find at the end of Constance’s suffering, Morgan?”

“Yep,” Morgan said, smirking humorlessly. “No pain, no gain. I guess that’s what I get for assuming that exorcisms were just like normal spells. The ‘source’ is pain, blood is traditional and best as far as I reckon. Live stuff. Honestly, this wouldn’t be such a problem if it wasn’t for Constance. The simplest and most elegant solution would be to bleed myself. I have a lifetime of awful shit to offer up. But the dead are beyond most magic. So, I need something else.” It would be easy, she supposed, to pluck someone off the street, or find out who had been most recently screamed for and rest in the knowledge that her unwitting volunteer wasn’t losing out on that much. But Morgan didn’t want to cause suffering arbitrarily. That’s what Constance had done when she took one moment out on generations of Bachmans after Agnes. It should be as intentional as the rest of the ritual. It had to be better than Constance. 

Morgan listed to one side as Agnes spoke, aching to fall against her and be held. “You made a mistake, Agnes,” she mumbled. “Hurting people you love and making them feel like nothing…” She shook her head with bitter recognition. “Yeah, it breaks you, to be on the receiving end of that, or to do that without meaning to. I know. But it’s not something that warrants what she did. If you love someone…” You hang on or you let go, was what Morgan wanted to say. But she was still trying to figure that one out. Staying in limbo, where she could punish Deirdre or not, embrace her or not, was still safer than committing one way or the other. “...You don’t do what she did. It should stay between the two of you, and nothing more.” That much, she did believe. “And, you know, I met what was left of your mother. I get being scared of what she might do to you.” It ran in the family, apparently. 

She thought long and hard about Agnes’ question, knowing that it was a rare opportunity to be understood, to make Agnes see what she was really up to. “I want it to end,” She sighed. “I want to banish some of this pain, to put it somewhere that’s not me. I already have so much now, she can afford to take on an hours’ worth of mine. She can do that much for me. And it…” Her voice caught. “It just feels so wrong, I get sick and disgusted thinking about it, it feels that wrong--to think about giving her what she took from me. I will never sleep. I will never have peace. I just...go. Maybe it makes me a bad person if you believe in those, but I will do this before I give her that kind of mercy. She’s made it so I spent my mortal life being crushed by her magic and I just can’t tell her ‘thanks, it’s okay!’ about it.” Morgan shrugged helplessly as her eyes filled with tears. She blinked them back as best she could, an effort at pride in front of the only family she had left who might like her.

Agnes had several lifetimes of experience of not speaking her mind. Even now, she held her tongue as Morgan spoke, keeping her thoughts tucked behind the layers of her clothes and her features. A lifetime of telling her parents what they wanted to hear, until she had said at a wedding she had barely wanted, yes in her bedroom, and then yes to her husband for the rest of her life. Yes to one child, then two. Yes to watching over them as they grew like saplings in a thornbush, destined to be crushed by Constance’s curse. Agnes was ever so good at watching the world go by without ever expressing her opinion. It was no new matter to listen to Morgan plan to set her whole world on fire. Hurting someone she deemed deserved to hurt so that she could inflict a worse hell onto someone else, losing every friend she had in this town to a cause that would bring an end to something that had tormented their family for centuries. 

Exposed to Morgan’s bleeding heart, Agnes wondered if she had made the wrong choice. One reason to stay in Texas was that she didn’t have to see so viscerally the harm the curse Constance had caused. She’d been able to ignore her own culpability. That was not so as Morgan laid out the road map of her suffering, and what she had planned for Constance. “My mother is inconsequential, now.” Was all she had to say. 

Perhaps it was that she had spent so much time looking the other way that her heart ached for Constance despite the last century. Agnes was still that romantic child, sneaking picnics in the forest and braiding Constance’s long, red locks. She could picture them walking along the streams when she looked in the ripples of the swimming pool, right next to the reflection of Morgan’s pallid skin. There was no way, any more, to prevent their deaths. It would be easier to look away. But there was perhaps something even more important for Agnes to protect. “I do not expect that you would be able to walk away. There is no forgiving her actions, no matter how much I loved her,” That much was true, “I worry that her destruction will also be yours. That in trying to bring about justice, you will taint some fundamental part of yourself that you will not get back in the rest of your centuries. Constance has taken so much from us, I do not want you to lose any other part of yourself. This blood sacrifice, especially, that frightens me. Shouldn’t that also stay between us?”

The way Agnes said the word love made Morgan’s heart ache. Agnes seemed more shadow than woman in ways that went beyond her incorporeal body. There was no wonder or surprise or excitement. In her kindness, dampened with sorrow, Morgan imagined that Agnes had seen all of this before. Or thought she had. Maybe she was so hollowed out because she’d been stuck on this cruel plane for so long, or maybe it was the guilt she couldn’t let go of, but she changed when she said that word. Morgan couldn’t decide if it gave her hope for eternity, or if it was just kind of awful that Constance still had such power over Agnes in death.

“I don’t even know what there is of me some days,” Morgan said, unable to indulge Agnes’ concern seriously. “You don’t have to worry. I’ve killed before. Not a lot, just people who were already trying to kill me. You know how some hunters are, or maybe not, but my point is--if I can just find someone that makes sense, it’ll be fine.” She didn’t know how she would go about that, still, but she shrugged as if it was nothing worth worrying about. She needed to keep up her confidence, and maybe it would get Agnes to believe in her more too. “Is that what we were to her, do you think? Sacrifices?” She asked. “Just logs to burn on her fire, over and over, til we’re just little white bits of coal and she needs another? See, that just sounds like another reason to do it. I’d bleed whoever in front of her if I could. To make sure she understands.” But without someone she loathed as much as Constance, that didn’t sound especially likely. She didn’t need to make a production of things, she just needed to get to the fucking finish line. Maybe finding the best way to do that could be her new anchor for a while; she certainly wanted it badly enough. “You don’t have to like this. I get being in love with someone just as fucked up as you are if not more. Just please don’t stop me, Agnes. You’re all the family I have and I would really appreciate it if you could just...not take this from me.” What did she have without it? What was there to do but accept she’d been screwed by a hateful ragweed of a girl and let her skip off into the sunset? Morgan couldn’t. There was enough of her life in pieces and she wouldn't let all her grief follow suit. Maybe if she did everything right, if she won, she’d feel a little stronger about facing the rest of what had broken, too. “Can you please give me that much?”

“That you have killed before in self defense is not reassuring,” Agnes replied, and briefly considered listing all the ways it caused concern, before assuming that that was also a lost cause. Morgan did not want to hear, and so it was easier not to speak. “I think… that is an apt metaphor. Her rage is almost consuming, and she has used other’s suffering to feed it. It is no way to spend one’s death. Nor one’s life.” Agnes added that last part delicately, her voice airy.  If Morgan truly believed this would serve her, who was Agnes to stop her? She could offer her descendent this much, one more thing in her lifetimes of permitting things to happen. She smiled, her grief drawing deep lines in her face. It was no longer instinct to reach out to offer the comfort of touch when she had no comfort to offer, but she still hovered her hand over Morgan’s, looking deep in her eyes. “I swear it.”

Agnes said nothing of trying to stop Constance. 

[baoshan-sanren]

Hello! Could you tell us more about 2ha? What's it about and the like?

Oh man, I didn’t realize how hard that would be to do until I sat down to try and summarize it? And full disclaimer, I haven’t finished reading it yet, because 2ha is definitely the type of novel where you gotta know your own limits (I had some weird ass dreams like holy hell). Anyway, I stopped a few days ago at the end of chapter 119 and am now literally writing 300+ fluffy ficlets to fix everything I didn’t like so far 😊

Anyway, 2ha/erha/ The Husky and His White Cat Shizun is def not like mdzs. It centers around a relationship between a disciple, Mo Ran, and his master, Chu Wanning. Mo Ran had a pretty shitty childhood, like the typical poor, never had had enough to eat, mother worked in a brothel kind of thing - his back story kind of reminded me of Meng Yao, except that in 2ha a convenient uncle shows up and takes Mo Ran to his Sect as a disciple. Mo Ran is relatively gifted, but he’s not terribly bright or eloquent, and he’s got the emotional maturity of a resentful puppy + he’s had a shit upbringing, so a lot of people look down on him, call him names, etc, etc. His Master, Chu Wanning, seems like a cold-hearted dude, has him savagely whipped for something Mo Ran thinks is a minor offense, and always treats/speaks to him like he’s looking down on him too.

Fast forward to years of these slights and offenses, Mo Ran decides he’s gonna rule the world and pay everyone back for treating him like shit. He literally becomes the emperor and like viciously slaughters everyone who ever wronged him (I mean there’s more to it, but I don’t wanna give away the whole plot), but his Master, Chu Wanning, he keeps alive for a long time (idk if they ever say how long but it seems fucking long) just so he can torture, humiliate, and torment him as much as possible (as far as I can tell, 90% of the content warnings are in these sections, and they probably include every content warning you can think of, and then a few you’ve never even thought of). Chu Wanning finally gets to die and get away from him, and then Mo Ran realizes that he really has nothing left to live for, and commits suicide.

And this is where the story actually starts, because he doesn’t die, but he goes back into the body of his fifteen (fifteen? or sixteen?) year old self, and has a chance to do everything all over again. Obviously, his last end wasn’t too satisfying, so he wants to do things differently, but although he’s got a 32-year old mind in a fifteen year old body, he hasn’t grown much (at least in emotional maturity holy hell), and he’s brought all of his hatred, perceived slights, and resentments with him into this new life. 

And that’s basically as much as I can say without giving shit away. It’s def important to mention again that this novel is chock full of content warnings, and if you decide to read it, I recommend suika & rynn translation because there is a clear list of warnings at the beginning of each translated section (usually ten chapters at a whack) and then individual chapters in the section also have their own warnings where necessary + and they’re bold and bright red and pretty hard to miss.

Personally, I like it, I think Mo Ran is a pretty unique character for being an absolute fucking idiot like 90% of the time but somehow still kind of likeable when he’s not being a fucking unhinged tyrant. And Chu Wanning I fell in love with within the first 50 chapters, and I can’t tell you why because that would kind of spoil a lot. 

It’s not a novel for the faint hearted tho, so if all the warnings just aren’t your cup of tea, I’d wait for live action because it’s being made by tencent, and after The Untamed I’ve got full confidence that the show is gonna fucking slap. 

also RIP to the “read more” I guess tumblr just shoves it arbitrarily anywhere these days, including nowhere you actually need it so yeah

[ckret2]

Okay so I got an ask like,

anonymous asked: whose ur favorite Hazbin character? Like your absolute #1 and why?

and technically my answer is Alastor, but Sir Pent is such a close second that I gave my reasons for him too in that ask, and now I’m making a second post about Alastor.

Reasons I really like Alastor but like, only slightly more than Sir Pent:

- Honestly “I can suck ya dick” *IMMEDIATE BRAIN BREAK FACE* is probably the moment I, like, mentally latched on to Alastor’s character, and at that point I don’t think I even knew yet that the creator had said he was ace. It just... I could feel the aceness in my soul. Like that thing where Jedi run into somebody and go “oh you’re strong in the Force, I can tell.” That was just such a perfect and succinct ace joke, and by that I mean like it feels like a joke from an ace perspective. Like it was so relatable.

- tbh half my reasons for liking Alastor are “oh that’s relatable,” which is hilarious, because like... I don’t like characters because I relate to them, ever, but because I think they’re interesting in their strange/different ways. Alastor is the sole exception I can think of where half the reasons I like him is because I look at him and go “oh big mood.” Other ace or aro characters I’ve seen in the past just make me go “oh... okay. cool. nice, representation for me” and then I don’t really care about them. Alastor, though, the SECOND I learned he was ace, something in my brain went “FUCK YES. ONE OF OURS.” I immediately sat down and started writing a character study fic about Alastor being ace/aro in the exact same precise way that I’m ace/aro, and that was even before we got confirmation that he was aro. I was ready to go all in on him anyway.

- Half the reason I like his ace/aro-ness when I don’t care about it as much on other characters is because like... usually, when you get an ace/aro character, it goes one of two ways:

1) their entire character is built around/“in tune with” their ace/aro-ness, in a way. Most obvious when you have the stereotypical “robot/alien that cannot love,” but also seen in “character that is naive and pure and innocent and lustless,” “character that acts like an actual literal child,” “character that acts like a bad autism cliche,” “character that’s too cold or cruel or emotionless to feel love,” etc. And that’s boring, when they’re only ace/aro because the writer cannot imagine a character Like That being any other way, or because the writer cannot imagine an ace/aro being Any Other Way. 

Or, 2) they’re written as “too normal,” as in, like, NOTHING ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY or life experiences or anything seems shaped AT ALL by the fact that they do not share an internal sense of lust and/or romance that most of the rest of the human species not only has, but also is obsessed with.

And Alastor falls in neither camp. He’s gregarious and talkative and puts on little performances wherever he goes, and he obnoxiously butts in on somebody else’s group project by begging for an opportunity to help out and then obnoxiously volunteers his friends who hate him to help with the group project, and he’s manipulative and dangerous and secretive and violent, and he hides his emotions and he disguises when he’s feeling weak... and also the quickest way to throw him off his game is to make a sexual pass at him because he’s blindsided so hard by it that it’s like for a moment there he forgot that sex exists.

And that’s what I want to see. A character whose personality isn’t based on/tied into his ace/aro-ness, BUT we can clearly see his character IS INFLUENCED by the fact that he views the world through a completely different lens from everyone else.

I can imagine that Alastor had to puzzle through What Is Love/What Is Desire, purely on a psychological “what’s going on inside other people’s heads?” level, as an outside observer incapable of participating it and trying to understand it based on anecdotes and fictionalized accounts and descriptions and conversations, comparing it to the emotions inside his own head and trying to go “so it’s kind of like this feeling plus that one and those, but More, and Different, and in that Other Direction.” I can imagine that as a kid Alastor “decided” to have crushes because he knew it was about that time it should be starting, and it hadn’t happened by then, so maybe what he needs to do is pick whoever he thinks is best-looking and get going with the crushing on them, right? I can imagine that Alastor spent his teen years waiting for his desires to “turn on” the way they did for everyone else, and being slightly puzzled when they took so long, but also okay with it because the more he thought about it the more it seemed like it was probably a nuisance—no one around him was someone he’d like to be attracted to—so he was fine with the fact it was taking so long, and he sort of assumed that it wasn’t because he didn’t have the capacity for desire but because none of his peers were desirable to him. I can imagine that he had his first kiss at like fifteen and thought it was horrible and gagged on it, and within an hour decided this was absolutely hilarious.

I can imagine Alastor having all these experiences—which are experiences I had. I’ve never seen another ace/aro character I can easily and naturally imagine having a single experience in common with me. Because no other ace/aro characters feel to me like ace/aro characters. They’re either characters with an ace/aro sticker arbitrarily and meaninglessly slapped on them, or they’re a walking stereotype about lovelessness.

- Besides Alastor’s spectacular Asexuelle Panique™ face, the other single line that made me latch onto him was “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” There are some very specific character types that I’m an absolute sucker for, and one of them is: extremely powerful character, at the top of their game, unstoppable and uncontrollable and unmatched, a loner who likes it that way, BUT they’re bored as hell, either because they’ve met all their goals or because they don’t know how to set any—and the boredom is eating them up inside, it’s driving them slowly mad, the sheer tedium of trying to fill one day after another with nothing to do is weighing down on them, if depression is usually compared to a heavy rain then this depression is like an endless empty waiting room, or depression like solitary confinement, or depression like an unmoving sun shining on an infinite flat desert, the depression of a completely empty hollow life leveled flat by infinite interminable boredom, a boredom they would do ANYTHING to get rid of, a boredom that’s like a withdrawal, a boredom that makes your hands shake and your pulse quicken with desperate need for the drug to stave off the withdrawal symptoms, but god, you don’t even know what the drug IS, you just know you NEED it, some form of stimulation, ANY stimulation, you’re going mad in this empty desert with your hands trembling and the withdrawal clouding your mind—

Have I mentioned that I have ADHD? Did you know that untreated ADHD can result in depression specifically due to chronic mental understimulation? I keep telling myself “bruh, don’t headcanon Alastor as having ADHD, you don’t even headcanon that he has any other traits that line up with ADHD symptoms,” but like. That one line. “Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” I felt that in my very bones. There is desperation in that man. There is desperation in him that speaks to me like nothing else does. Like to the point that if it turns out that Alastor secretly DOES have a secret evil manipulative scheme going on I’m going to be annoyed/disappointed specifically because his driving motive isn’t boredom, lmao.

Anyway I feel for characters like that. I like to explore that desperate despairing boredom. I like to force them through that understimulation withdrawal, drive them to do stupid wild desperate things to try to get the stimulation they need. And then, when I’m feeling nice, I like to help them find a cure. Usually I imagine the cure is “dude, you’re such a loner that you’ve cut yourself off from the rest of the human race, you have NO human connections, even when you’re technically interacting with other people you’re still completely emotionally isolated inside your own shell. Make some goddamn friends and start to care about other people and their lives and you’ll find that the act of having other people exist in your world who matter to you will give you that stimulation you’re desperately missing.” Because these desperately bored characters are also desperately emotionally isolated. And they might be happy/content in their isolation—but they’re not doing anything to cure their own understimulation like that.

(“Hey OP is that how you cured your understimulation?” nah I got ADHD meds.)

- Remember everything that I just said about how much I love that Alastor is aro? Well forget everything I just said. Chuck it out the window. Bye.

So every once in a while I find a character that, for whatever reason, I really, really, really want to see pining. I want them to be in love, and I want it to be unrequited, and I want it to go on for years. I want them sobbing in private and then hiding it completely when they face anyone else. I want them to hurt so bad they feel like they can’t breathe. I want them unable to think about anything but their beloved. I want it festering inside them like an infected wound. I want it to hurt. Forever.

(“Hey OP do you uh, do you ever, yknow, want them to get their loved one?” yeah sure whatever)

For some reason, Alastor is one of those characters. Why? I dunno. I haven’t figured out my mental pattern on these ones yet. Maybe it’s specifically because it’s so incongruous with his outward appearance/and attitude. Maybe it’s because he’d do a really really good job at hiding it, but also I think he’s probably kind of a mess inside under his mask, and I think adding unrequited desire under that mask would mess him up anymore in really spectacular ways. Like a china cabinet that shifted in an earthquake so that if you open all the doors all the plates will fall out and break, except they’re already all broken inside of the china cabinet, but he’s in denial about that as long as he doesn’t open the door. I dunno, I’m speculating.

- On that note: I feel like he’s probably, like, hypercompetent and super powerful and super successful on the outside, but actually he’s a sort of screwed up dork who’s got no idea what he’s doing. (I present the furby organ as supporting evidence.) I like extremely powerful deeply feared dorks, ESPECIALLY when they have no idea what they’re doing.

- Also, affable villains. Totally friendly/sociable and totally evil.

- I dig his weird radio schtick. Like, Radio Stuff isn’t a thing I specifically like about characters, but on him I think it’s cool. Character gimmicks that can go a lot of ways and that you can do a lot of stuff with in character development are fun.

I think that covers all the important bases.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

This is the most offensivly ignorant comment I’ve ever had the misfortunte of reading

Unsurprisingly it comes from the King of ‘What you just said is so aggressively idiotic I feel like you just insulted everyone’: RDMacQ. 

For context you need to read this statement from someone else. Whilst I do not agree with this statement I’m not addressing it’s merits or demerits.

“Let me say that I don't like Evil Superman as a concept, but when written well, like Tom Taylor's Injustice comics, where the guy who wrote it clearly has love for the traditional version of Superman and tries to humanize him even at his worst so you can relate and feel for the guy, I accept it, I enjoy it. By that same token, I was always open to Peter/MJ not working out if it was done well, and not done as in the case of OMD/OMIT with the demonstrable intent of slandering MJ's character and making Peter young hip and open to dating younger girls without him coming off as a creep and sleazebag. I am not okay with it happening to preserving Peter's sainthood. I mean the reason I accepted Peter B. in ITSV is that it did that take on the direction the character went into very well. In the case of Life Story #3, you are meant to agree with MJ and she's shown as a moral force, someone who condemns Venom Peter when he is about to kill Kraven-in-Cloth Suit. And of course people need to keep in mind that in Life Story, Reed and Sue didn't work out either, Vision suffers more guilt than even Peter can fathom, Captain America made a bigger and more difficult choice and faces more consequences for his actions than Peter does. So I feel that whatever Zdarsky is doing he's playing fair in the way that other writers don't when they do the story this way. And also tonally, the story is set in the '80s, the age of Watchmen. I think in terms of decade-specific mood and trend, having a story where Spider-man becomes a deadbeat dad worried about not being in prime physical shape and so on...is quite apposite.”

Then we get to RDMacQ’s bullshit

 “Yeah, I find it weird that the main complaint is "This isn't what happened in the original comics" and I'm like "Yeah.... kind of the point!"”

Here is the problem.

Life Story is intended and promoted as a WHAT IF.

 The way a WHAT IF works is that it takes what DID happen and changes variables to explore how that’d impact the outcome.

With Variables A+B you get outcome 1 (the main universe).

 But what if you had Variables C+D? You would get outcome 2.

 Gwen Stacy died so Spider-Man tried (and ultimately refrained) from murdering the Green Goblin.

 But what If Spider-Man saved Gwen Stacy? Then she’d accept him, he’d stop the Goblin, but the Goblin would expose his identity in the interim and thus ruin Peter’s life.

 Kingpin’s assassin injured Aunt May so Peter beat him up.

 But what If the Kingpin’s assassin didn’t injure Aunt May but simply outright killed Mary Jane? Then Peter would directly murder the Kingpin.

 Life Story doesn’t play fair as a What if in the slightest.

 A what if done properly is confined by the parameters of the original story. Everyone still needs to act in character within the context of the new situation as defined by the older stories.

 That isn’t he case in Life Story

 To begin with it isn’t changing just one variable it’s changing multiple. Spider-Man is aging in real time. The events of his life are happening in roughly the same time period they would’ve been published, but not in the same order. The level of realism is drastically higher since Marvel heroes are going to the Vietnam War.

 Characters act arbitrarily differently in ways they wouldn’t do in the context of the new variables. Case in point, why exactly would Norman Osborn pull the scheme he di in issue #2 just because he’s in prison? His plan never made sense. And in issue #4 his plan was even more asinine. He wanted to destroy Spider-Man and due to being too old to do it himself he pulled the Clone Saga and got Doc Ock to attack Spidey on his behalf. But he knew who Peter was, why not just reveal the truth. Doing so couldn’t harm him as he’d already paid for his crimes as the Goblin and his identity was public knowledge.

 That doesn’t make sense. That’s not an opinion that’s just self-evident by the story. The cause and effect of it doesn’t add up.

 But RDMacQ doesn’t believe in that. According to him Norman’s actions are justified because ‘ a crazy person did something that didn’t make sense’. That’s the laziest most pathetic attempt at analysis. And yet this cum bubble of a human being has the audiactity to claim I  don’t analyse.

 To him authorial intent is everything unless he doesn’t like it.

 Because the point is that it’s supposed to be different from canon that means that characters can act in ANY way that’s different. ANY thing that is different is a viable option. Which obviously defeats the entire object of the project. If you are going to do that what is the point of rooting it in 616 canon in the first place? Why rely upon familiarity with the canon universe if you are going to randomly change anything on a whim as opposed to in logical response to a changed variable?

 In doing that all you have accomplished is a weird and unfocussed Ultimate Universe, not a What if.

 But then ol’ Big Mac starts to step up the game.

 “I think probably my issue arises due to certain recent fan outrages, and a lot of the rationalizations and justifications that came from them. The latest episode of Game of Thrones, for example, had a lot of people- and I mean a LOT of people- decrying a character's "Heel" turn and their "Out of character" moments- while at the same time showing a bit of a misreading of the material or the subject matter.”

 Bear in mind when he wrote this the latest episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones was the penultimate episode of it’s eighth and final season. In it, key protagonist, Daenerys slaughtered a whole city full of civilians with a fire breathing dragon and her army. Throughout the show she’d previously been defined as being unwilling to kill innocents on principle, once claiming that each enslaved person in a city was a reason to conquer the city and liberate it’s people. She was so horrified that one of her dragons inadvertently killed a child that she locked them up. She once affirmed that she did not want to be ‘Queen of the Ashes’ amidst her campaign to retake her homeland.

 It’s fair to say the overwhelming majority of viewers AND professional critics took major issue with this and declared it a travesty and out of character.

 Behind-the-scenes stories also heavily point to Emilia Clarke (the actress portraying the character) being upset and disenchanted with her character’s direction.

For my money these two videos are the best examinations of the disaster that was Daenerys heel turn in this episode of Game of Thrones.*

Also please bear in mind the ‘man’ saying people are misreading things is the same man who has continually insisted that Norman Osborn merely wants to kill Spider-Man in spite of me citing examples to the contrary, including this page.

So you know, not exactly demonstrating great analytical skills there. 

“I think it's far too easy to cry "Out of character" when a character does something different, or simply questionable, because it's an easy catch all phrase that sounds like you know something, but in reality it's just a cover for a lack of understanding of things like characterization or plot development.”

Says the ‘man’ who genuinely once said Norman Osborn doing something nonsensical is justified because ‘he’s crazy’.

 Says the ‘man’ who leaned incredibly hard on the idea that Miles Warren in Life Story would not have intervened in Gwen’s marriage to Peter Parker even though his entire character revolves around his jealous obsession over her.

 Says the guy who once said a writer can randomly decide all of Mary Jane’s character development since the 1980s didn’t matter.

 Says the ‘man’ who once claimed Doc Ock at the end of Gage’s Superior run was he real Doc Ock even though he was literally a clone of his mind in a clone of his body…and then he refused to listen to me when I repeatedly spelled that fact out for him. His rationale was ‘Marvel are treating him as the real guy so he is’.

 Says the ‘man’ that in his ‘interpretation’ Spider-Man regarded Ned Leeds as a ‘viper’ after he was revealed as the Hobgoblin, in spite of literally no evidence supporting that interpretation and you know Spider-Man literally saying otherwise multiple times; including in the issue he learned Ned was a villain. In fact when I pointed this out to ol’ big Mac he referred to such things as ‘arbitrary’.

 Says the guy who once said it’s better for stories to be in multi-parters because before the rise of decompression al stories had rushed endings. Remember how Amazing Fantasy #15, The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man, Sensational Annual 2007, The Conversation and When Commeth the Commuter all had ‘rushed’ endings?

 Says the poor excuse for a ‘man’ who once claimed there was nothing wrong with the JMS run having magic but who also lambasted Peter David’s Spider-Man work for involving magic and time travel, even though JMS wrote ASM #500 which is literally about magic time travel.

 What I am trying to say is this ‘man’ has systemically demonstrated immense hypocrisy and stupidity but a staggering deficiency when it comes to literary analytical skills.

 “The movie reviewer Bob Chipman mentioned this in one of his videos where he talked about the problems that a lot of "Modern" viewers have is that they believe because they watch a lot of movies in a year, that somehow makes them film buffs or gives them insight into the storytelling process, when in reality what they are doing is watching all the Marvel movies or all the big releases, and assuming that gives them the same sort of insight that people who go to school to learn this sort of thing do. And I kind of think that's also true of comics as well.”

 Oh boy, is there a lot to unpack here.

 Keeper of the Gate

For starters let’s call this out for what it is. As much as he might be softening the statement by saying ‘kind of’, what he is actually doing right here is GATEKEEPING.**

 He is saying unless you have ‘gone to school to learn this sort of thing’ you don’t COUNT as a critic.***

 Okay let’s dive into that one.

 Schooling ain’t everything

Gone to school to do what exactly? How to make movies? That’s what film school is for right? So you can learn how to write, produce, direct, etc movies. Correct me if I am wrong but film school does not teach you how to CRITIQUE movies.

 So by this logic going to film school wouldn’t qualify you to critique a movie, just how to make them. Except no one argues that. Bob Chipman himself studied film at school and it is from that point of view that his analyses come from.

 So by RDMacQ’s own logic Bob himself isn’t qualified for his own job, let alone RD himself. At which point why does Bob’s words carry any weight at all?

 But wait, we can go yet deeper.

 What if we aren’t talking about film school specifically? What if someone just studied film as their major in college but not strictly film school? Is that good enough to be a film critic or not? If it is are you a lower echelon of film critic?

 What if you minored in film/media studies instead of majored in it? Are you yet lower on the totem pole?

 What if you went to film school but dropped out?

 What if you studied from home and didn’t actually GO to the school itself?

 What if you studied it at A school but pre-college?

 What if you studied it privately outside of an educational institution? In other words a self-taught film student?

 Shit, what about the first ever film critics or the first ever film makers who pioneered techniques and the art form? If they were going through the trial and error of formulating the art form and medium there obviously couldn’t have BEEN film schools back then?

 Do they not count?

 Not to mention the cultural implications of this. If you are an American who attended a French film school are you unqualified to critique American films and only French ones, even if you grew up predominantly with American cinema?

 Let’s change things up a little and look to TV in Britain. One of the most acclaimed British TV writers of all time was a man named John Sullivan. Sullivan created multiple beloved and acclaimed sitcoms, the most famous of which is called Only Fools and Horses. So successful was this show that it was the most viewed TV show in Britain in both the 90s and the 2000s. The latte in particular is an achievement since the show existed purely as reruns in the 2000s sans literally 3 episodes.

 The show had a total of 64 episodes and ran between 1981-2003. Do you know how many of those 64 episodes Sullivan wrote?

 ALL of them.

 And do you know how many of them have predominantly negative reviews? Arguably  just four.

 Not only has the show been positively received it’s been regarded as the singular greatest British comedy of all time, a title it still holds to this day.

 Amidst the praise that the show has received is it’s great characterization, it’s emotional moments and in particular it’s utter command of narrative structure. Not only do the jokes land they land with grace and make the feat seem easy when it’s all over. The cherry on his record was his OBE, an official government recognition of his positive contributions to the arts.

 So you know, this guy clearly knew how to tell a good story. He did like 60 times in a row single handily.

 So when and where did he study film? The answer is, he didn’t.

 He never studied film. His formal education stopped at age 15 when he dropped out of school with no qualifications. Even if he had completed his secondary high school education he’d have not studied film. Film was not on the British curriculum at the time and to my knowledge still isn’t. At best you can study ‘media studies’ starting at age 16-18 before you go on to university. But up until age 16 it’s just not an available option.

 He did go to evening classes for English and read teach yourself books but that was it.

 By Big Mac’s standards this writer who’s been recognized by the government themselves wasn’t qualified to write anything, let alone critique it.

 Additionally let’s consider one teeny weeny little fact. If you’ve lived through the formal education system in pretty much any Western country you have almost certainly been educated on how to gain an insight into the storytelling process. Because that’s a big part of what fucking ENGLISH class is for!****

 MovieBob

I’d say I’m shocked and appalled at RD’s audacity and lack of self-awareness in citing MovieBob Chipman. But I’m not. It actually makes far too much sense.

MovieBob is a broken clock that’s often not even right twice a day. His credibility as a critic and as a human being is also woefully lacking.

For starters RD is a big Spider-Marriage proponent (though he’s recently turned traitor and says he doesn’t really mid if it doesn’t come back). To his credit he has often called out and deconstructed unfair and disingenuous arguments against the Spider-Marriage.

Bob however is staunchly on the other side of that debate.

He’s even said the marriage was never good, came from an illegitimate place, that Spider-Mans imply should never be married and in fact argued that a late Slott era Spider-Man and MJ were more interesting than they were before.

Thus I find RD’s citing of Bob to back up his claims about who is ‘qualified’ to be a critic the height of irony.

But you know, that doesn’t necessarily hurt RD’s argument. Hell, Bob un-ironically believing in eugenics or intelligence testing for voters doesn’t necessarily hurt RD’s argument.

Nor does MovieBob’s weird, weird views on how society apparently punishes the Big Brains like himself of course. Although it’s so telling that an arrogant prick like RD would invoke the words of a ‘brother-in-arms’ like Bob.

 No, what hurts RD’s argument is where Bob was probably coming from with his initial statement.

 See I heavily suspect that RD’s claims about Bob are kind of stem from his interpretations of this video Bob made called ‘BIG PICTURE: PLOTHOLE SURFERS’. Noticeably that video cites this video by another Youtube film critic named Patrick Willems. Called ‘SHUT UP ABOUT PLOT HOLES’.

The sentiments of both videos explicitly or implicitly echo Big MacQuack’s. Everyone is wrong in how they are critiquing movies except them and people like them because they are ‘professionals’ because they went to school.

None of these arguments hold up to scrutiny both due to stuff I have mentioned above but also for various other reasons I’m not going to bother unpacking here. If you want a detailed look at why Chipman and Willems (and by extension RD) are full of shit there are several Youtube videos dissecting their points, particularly Willems’.

However, I’ve found the most detailed to be this video. 

There is also this video where they more directly address Bob’s video.

Fair warning they are long and get less than PC, and yet they do address why the videos don’t hold up to scrutiny.

Self-taught critic

Here is a crazy thought, if you’ve watched all the Marvel movies and big releases every year, why SHOULDN’T that give you a potential insight when critiquing OTHER Marvel movies or big releases? Those things are competing against one another, they are broadly going for the same audience. If you familiarise yourself with them then it is not beyond impossibility that you could mentally play spot the difference in the storytelling and critically evaluate them. It’s almost like in consuming that media you have formulated a CRITERIA which you are then CRITICALLY judging similar such media against.

Hypocrisy

The best part about RD’s statements? He himself has never gone to film school. Nor has he gone to a school specifically teaching him how to analyse comic books nor write them.

By his own logic he has disqualified himself from partaking in critiquing any story, as he did with Life Story or Game of Thrones earlier on.

But the best part?

If you check out the thread this is from and observe the poster called Chase the Blues Away they often disagree. CTBA  points out holes in RD’s arguments and subtly questions his reading comprehension. Entirely separately they also implied they felt GoT’s writing was illogical towards the end of season 8 as well.

Why is CTBA relevant.

Because they actually HAVE gone to film school!

Furthermore, on both Life Story and most other matters related to Spider-Man CTBA and myself have been on the same page, whether this entails agreeing with one another’s statements or by coincidence having similar positions.

Now me?

I NEVER went to film school nor did I study English literature formally beyond age 18. Oh, I’ve read bits and bobs about writing (my favourite being Russell T Davies’ book ‘A Writer’s Tale’). But I have no college level formal education on the craft of writing. My analytical skills were cultivated from my school experiences and a whole load of osmosis and practice.

I have also found myself often on the same page as another person who at least studied English at a college level. They are another poster on the same forum called MacGoblin, perhaps better known as the creator of the (now defunct) SpideyKicksButt website. For many people the site was THE best source of Spider-Man analysis on the web for over a decade.

MadGoblin still participates regularly on a podcast covering new Spider-Man issues and whether or not I agree with all his assessments the manner in which he analyses (with an eye upon continuity) is similar to myself and indeed all the other panellists on the podcast.

One of the former panellists on the podcast (who I have also been on the same page with more often than not) was called Donomark and he too studied English at a college level.

So that’s three people who meet RD’s arbitrary rules for who is a ‘real’ critic. And yet I (someone who doesn’t meet RD’s criteria) have come to mostly the exact same conclusions as they have through entirely independent analysis.

As have other people I know who didn’t study film or English Lit in college.

So, either I’m just an absolute prodigy, or RDMacQ, Willems and MovieBob’s criteria for who can and can’t grasp plot and characters is full of shit.

“A lot of the complaints I've seen is that Peter wouldn't or didn't do this in the original comics. But arguing "Peter wouldn't do this because in ASM #225, on page 11..." isn't pointing out the flaw in the story.”

As always RD is devoid of nuance or appreciating the complexities of things.

If in Life Story or any Spider-Man story in canon Peter acts in a way at odds with his established characterization  which is DEFINED by ASM #225 then absolutely  that’s pointing out a flaw in a story.

Case in point, here is this poorly drawn satire of Superior Spider-Man RDMacQ himself made:

Most of the gags at the expense of Superior Spider-Man in this page was made through the lens of knowing the characters’ past, of knowing what they did and how they acted in older stories.

The confusion over Crazy Town Banana Pants derives from Superior claiming Peter routinely said this when he in fact never did.

Carlie’s suspicions over Superior’s behaviour stems from he fact that the older stories have established how Peter acts and established that Carlie knows how he acts. Therefore Carlie not realizing the truth when she’s been told is illogical. That’s the gag from someone who’s stamped his foot on the ground and angrily refuted that human beings are capable of being logical.

The same is true of this next page too.

Captain America refers to ‘usual’ people involved with the Avengers (super scientists, etc.). Usual means there is a precedent and a precedent can only be defined via a pattern. A pattern of what? A pattern of older stories!

The second panel is bringing up the OLDER STORY ‘Ends of the Earth’ to prove the hypocrisy of Doc Ock

The final panel references SEVERAL past events. The Clone Saga. The Alien Costume Saga. Every time the Chameleon or another shape shifter has impersonated him. Kraven’s Last Hunt.

It’s also referencing the fact that MJ would KNOW about them and even goes really specific by referencing the events of a few pages of one specific issue of Kraven’s Last Hunt. Not the gist of the story, not the climax or the most famous moments. This one scene in the middle of everything else.

RD is using that very specific moment to draw a comparison between it and the events of Superior in order to point out how MJ is not acting consistently.

Almost like she’s, I dunno, OUT OF CHARACTER or something?

Oh, and or the record declaring Peter would or wouldn’t act this way because of ASm #225 p11 is bullshit because Peter isn’t even on that page.

“That's just spouting comic book trivia, which isn't the same thing.”

But referencing events in the middle of KLH which are hardly iconic and immediately memorable and pointing out how MJ didn’t act consistently with them in Superior Spider-Man?

 Oh no, that’s NOT ‘spouting comic book trivia’.

 Can you see the hypocrisy of this creature now?

 Can you see how BROKEN it is to argue a character being established as acting a certain way by an older story DOESN’T mean it matters thereafter?

 And he says I am bad at analysis, Jesus Christ.

 “Knowledge of trivia isn't the same as understanding plot structure, foreshadowing, character development, or knowing or accepting that just because something happens in issue 1 doesn't mean it will stay that way throughout the entire book.”

 First of all the sheer audacity of someone with such non-existent analytical skills to DARE fucking throw shade like this is astounding. That’s like Michael Bay trying to explain how you make a movie with substance.

 Second of all he’s right and wrong here.

 Knowing the history of the characters is not the same as knowing those things.

 But that doesn’t render it trivia because it’s the fucking histories of the characters that define who they goddam are!

 Everyone agrees Spider-Man would not have acted the way he did in One More Day right? And that MJ wouldn’t have acted the way she did in OMIT right?

 Why? Why do people feel the characters would not behave that way?

 Because they read older stories that depicted them acting in certain ways in certain situations that were then contradicted by OMD and OMIT.

 You know like MJ not realising Superior Spidey wasn’t really Peter even though the situation was incredibly similar to Kraven’s Last Hunt and both entailed imposters pretending to be Spider-Man.

 No, knowing the history isn’t the same as knowing all that other stuff.

 But it is undeniably an integral PART of being able to analyse something because if the prior events don’t matter, if they are merely trivia (or worse trivia when he wants it to be but not when he doesn’t) then NOTHING matters.

 Why the fuck should issue #1 matter when reading issue #2? Or issue #3 when reading issue #5?

 What does it matter if chapter 1 established our protagonist as an adult black man with a wife but by chapter 10, with no explanation they are a teenaged white woman claiming they’ve never been married?

 Hey, chapter 1 is just trivia right. Why should that matter?

 By the way, go ask Harry Potter fans if those little details are irrelevant and see how that goes.

 He’s also (unsurprisingly) disgustingly disingenuous in his final point. Yes, things between issue #1 and issue #25 will change. But there is a world of difference between something changing via development vs. lazy contradictive writing.

 Case in point, in ASM #1 Peter Parker doesn’t have a job, is a pariah at school and runs away crying from a failed adventure. In issue #25 he has a freelance job, isn’t running away crying and 2 ladies are interested in him.

 WHAT? Isn’t this a contradiction? Doesn’t accepting this change mean you accept that issue #1 was mere trivia?

 No, because between issue #1 and #25 we saw how and when Peter got a job, those two ladies became interested in him and we saw his skills, experience and confidence grow. The end result is that issue #25 was different to issue #1 because we’d been on a JOURNEY to get us there.

 In contrast in ASM #700 Doc Ock is seemingly turned into a good guy because all of Spider-Man’s memories were beamed into his head, teaching him Uncle Ben’s famous mantra. But in Superior Spider-Man #1 he’s randomly reverted to what he was doing back in ASM #698.

 So that stuff was just trivia? But that stuff was the resolution of ASM #700 and therefore the set up for Superior #1. The latter couldn’t exist without the former and yet it doesn’t make sense.

 And you see that? You see how that cause and effect problem exists? Yeah, that’s PART of critiquing plot structure and foreshadowing. It’s ALMOST like the older stories aren’t merely trivia but actually very important and play a factor  in the other forms of analysis RD listed off.

 Not to mention, the idiocy of saying knowing the trivia doesn’t mean you understand foreshadowing. Motherfucker, the entire concept of foreshadowing is that you establish details in the present because you want to hint at readers about where the story is going to go later. It practically HINGES upon readers remembering that ‘trivia’.

 If ASM #225 p11 had Spider-Man pass by a black cat and say ‘Boy that reminds me of Felicia Hardy.’ THAT would be foreshadowing for the next issue, but you couldn’t appreciate that UNLESS you remembered what happened in ASM #225 p11.

 And the imbecility of bringing this shit up whilst referencing Game of Thrones too? As if Daenerys heel turn was actually foreshadowed and not just created from splicing old voice overs together in the previously segment of the show.

The next bit is in reference to Life Story again by the way.

“I mean, one of the best bits of subtle foreshadowing here is what happens with Peter and Reed's relationship. In issue 2, Peter reflects on how Reed pushed Sue away with his actions, and how he doesn't want to end up like that. But come issue 3, Peter ends up doing just that, despite his best efforts to the contrary and knowing what happened to Reed beforehand. That shows smart plot structure, which doesn't come out and yell at you "THIS IS IMPORTANT!" or hold your hand in any way. That shows that this story is pretty smart with the narrative choices that are being made.”

No it doesn’t.

Because the way in which Peter pushed MJ away contradicted his character and made no fucking sense. He had a mid-life crisis in spite of being well under 40 years old.

Also, you can have, by skill or by fluke, a dash of GOOD writing amidst your shitty writing.

A LOT of people would argue the podrace or Duel of the Fates fight in Phantom Menace were legitimately good sequences in an otherwise bad movie.

People broadbrush 90s Marvel as wall to wall trash but equally everyone praises Spider-Man 2099, Joe Kelly’s Deadpool run, Ron Marz’s Green Lantern run, etc.

Goddammit, 99% of all Doctor Who is fans celebrating the bits that were great amidst the bits that were bad. There are no end of Dr. Who stories were fans will praise the set design or costumes whilst shitting on the over all writing.

Shockingly a piece of media can have good AND bad elements!

Whenever someone says a story is good or bad they are almost always speaking OVERALL. A New Hope is OVERALL good. It’s not claiming there aren’t flaws to it.

Dan Slott’s Spider-Man run was OVERALL bad. Even I have said there are good elements to it.

But the mere existence of good elements doesn’t prove that something is overall one thing or another.

In Life Story’s case, let’s pretend RD is right. Then Zdarsky executed a good bit of foreshadowing.

Key word there: ‘bit’.

It doesn’t PROVE the over all story is smart with its narrative choices.

That’s such an utterly childish  manner of analysis. ‘Well this bit is good that means everything else has to be good’.

Like how the fuck does doing a good bit of foreshadowing prove that Life Story wasn’t mischaracterizing anyone or knew how to tell a good alternate history story?

Shit, DAN SLOTT had foreshadowing, sometimes it was even competently executed. Didn’t mean it wasn’t happening within the context of mischaracterization. 

Trust Bobby Mac to have no grasp  of nuance.

 “But rather than acknowledging that, instead we get stuff like being concerned with that because Gwen finds out Peter's secret identity at the end of issue 1, that therefore means that Peter is going to be hooking up with Gwen throughout the rest of the story, that this is going to be one big Peter/ Gwen book, that Chip Zdarsky is somehow a Gwen shipper because he wanted to just have her as a best friend in Spectacular, that MJ only having two lines in the first issue means her importance will be diminished overall, and that the whole series is going to try and be a rewrite to push that ship.”

None of the allegedly great foreshadowing RD spoke of above was in issue #1

Even if it was nobody could possibly have talked about that as a point of praise because the nature of foreshadowing is we wouldn’t have realised it was goddam foreshadowing until we finally GOT to the bit it was setting up in later issues

RD has been one of the most involved people in discussions about the Spider-Marriage, frequently clashing with a fell named Mister Mets on CBR and on the linked message board. He knows that Marvel from OMD onwards used to spite fans over OMD and the Spider-Marriage and that circa 2019 when Life Story was being released the latest of such instances had occurred maybe just 1 year earlier in Slott’s Red Goblin storyline. He also knows Zdarsky pissed in the well of the Spider-Marriage fans with his FCBD 2017 Spidey story which involved Mary Jane. So for a heavily burned and abused fanbase to suddenly be concerned that Zdarksy would be pushing an agenda was a totally natural and justified reaction to have at the time even if it was proven incorrect in the long run.

RD is being a shithead again. ‘Ugh, look at these overwrought FaNz. wHy CaNt dey celebrate the GUD stuff and not focus on the WRONG stuff’.The wrong stuff being Zdarsky shitting on the Spider-Man marriage, which he clearly did by breaking up Peter and Mj in the 80s when they didn’t break up then but he needed to ship Peter with Jessica Jones I guess

 “Yet here we, two issues later, and Gwen is dead, Peter married MJ and now they have kids.”

And in LF #3 their marriage was in a toxic place and they split up. In issue #4 they get back together but only by Peter giving up being Spider-Man. Almost like the story was saying having a family and being Spidey are incompatible or something.

Shit issue #3 BEGINS with MJ griping about Peter.

 “All the reactionary nonsense turned out to be for naught, since the story was going in a different direction, and just because Gwen was prominent early on didn't mean MJ wasn't going to play an important role later.”

 It wasn’t reactionary nonsense it was entirely justified  reactionary concern. People weren’t concerned that MJ wouldn’t be important but that Zdarsky would be pushing a pro-Gwen/anti-Mj agenda which he at least debatably did and certainly seemed to be doing in the first 3 issues.

 “And yet we still continue to see that reactionary nonsense continue with decrying because Peter and MJ leave off on a bad note here, it therefore means the rest of the series will be an unending slide into misery.”

Which was proven partially true.

Issue #4 Harry dies, Peter quits like a coward.

Issue #5 Peter’s child is crippled, his identity is outted, ben Reilly dies and he becomes a fugitive as a super human civil war breaks out.

Issue #6 the world has turned to shit because of that civil war and the only way to fix it is for Spider-Man to die.

But again, he’s missing the point like the fool that he is.

People were concerned and upset BECAUSE the series split Peter and MJ up in the first place. Both because that defied the mission statement of the series but also because they know Peter and MJ WOULDN’T split up and the circumstances engineering it were fucking contrived shit.

“Which then unfortunately leads into bashing the creator himself, which I find incredibly unreasonable given the tremendous job Zdarsky is doing.”

He didn’t do a tremendous job.

Chase the Blues Away, the film school student, had been saying so and continued to say so after RD made this comment. So I guess by his own metric he was full of shit.

This is one of RD’s fundamental and fatal flaws. He’s a hypocrite. Everything is subjective unless it’s the shit HE likes or hates. Then it’s objectively good or bad.

Not to mention no one had been bashing the creator personally. He can’t grasp this either. He doesn’t grasp the distinction between bashing the work of a writer vs. bashing the writer personally.

E.g. he falsely claims I’ve sworn at him. I have sworn at him…here. On my own blog here I don’t feel the need to play nice.

On a public forum? Never. I’ve sworn in the course of conversations with him. I’ve sworn in regards to his argument but never sworn to attack him personally.

“Decrying Zdarsky as some form of hack because halfway through a six part story he's had the protagonist go through a rough time and that he is just putting out "Fan fiction," or- as I saw someone else argue- that the reason Zdarsky did this was because he himself went through marital troubles at one time in his life is just silly.”

It’s really not. He admitted that he wrote MJ in FCBD 2017 as his ex wife.

Fanfiction is exactly what LF was. Peter hooks up with Jessica Jones because…no given reason. It’d make infinitely more sense for that to have been Felicia but it was Jessica Jones. Zdarsky invents his own personal new spin on the Goblin who’s wearing kewl black because why not. He has characters randomly act in any way he wants for the story to happen regardless of how little sense it makes. That’s bad fanfiction 101. He has logic holes you can drive a truck through. FFS Russia launched nukes on America in issue #3 and this DIDN”T result in all out nuclear Armageddon. That’s amateuris

 “Just like it's silly to say that D&B from GoT are purposefully destroying the show because they hate it and they hate women and they just want to move onto Star Wars,”

This is at worst a strawman.

At best an utterly myopic oversimplification.

The MAJORITY of people crying out against GoT season 8 weren’t claiming D&B were engaging in deliberate sabotage but rather they were ruining the series via their incompetence and RUSHING to get to the end.

Additionally the idea that they are misogynists is REALLY not a ‘silly’ argument. MANY people throughout the show’s history have made that argument, long before the popular opinion was that the show was bad,

A  season 4 subplot that was heavily embellished (to the point of being called practically original) from the books entailed rogue Night’s Watchmen raping a household of women beyond the Wall. The most infamous line from the subplot was ‘Fuck them all to death.’

In that same season Jamie Lannister makes sexual advances on his sister Cersei even though she was saying no.

Sansa Stark, in a scene not in the books, was raped by Ramsey Bolton with the focus being upon Theon Greyjoy’s horror at the situation.

And of course there is ever so slightly a dash of gratuitous nudity involving women in the show.

Look, I’m not even saying for sure that D&B hate women or that that was at the root of how they fucked up Daenerys’ character in season 8.

But it’s idiotic to just dismiss the idea as wholesale silly as Smac a Mac is doing above.

 “when in reality D&B were the reason the show got made in the first place and all those great female characters were brought to television for a wider audience to experience.”

Hollywood had been wanting to adapt George R. R. Martin’s books for years before he let D&B do it

Their first pilot was so bad they had to reshoot it.

They weren’t the reason we got those great female characters. Martin’s writing was why we got those characters and those good stories and why anyone wanted to make his books into a live action property at all.

Again, RD FAILING at nuance. A female character can have good writing AND bad writing. They can be good over all but drop the ball in certain moments. They can be great for 7 seasons but then fumble disastrously at the finish line. An opinion shared by all those critics that went to film school

Writers can be capable of doing good female characters even if they are misogynists. Writers who are not misogynists are capable of still being sexist at times. Friggin Stan Lee had sexist female characters in spite of also inventing Mary Jane who is lauded as a great female character even in the 1960s. Again, nuance. Mac Attac ain’t good at it.

“We can dislike or criticize a work without having to demonize the creators,”

It’s not demonizing D&B or Zdarsky to call them incompetent writers.

“and I think it's just become far too easy nowadays for people to rationalize their statements by making the creators themselves into remorseless villains, since that justifies them acting however they please in response.”

And it’s become far too difficult for me to stomach any more of this piece of shit.

*For what it is worth, these events are also listed on TV Tropes under the Face Heel Turn page:

Daenerys herself falls victim to this in the final seasons. Her actions in Essos had the purest of intentions: fighting against the Dothraki's misogyny and ending slavery in western Essos. Even her morally questionable acts still had these goals in mind. But when she set her sights on conquering Westeros, which is more or less a standard medieval European setting, her only goal was conquest. Even her claim that the Iron Throne is her birthright falls short since her father was killed due to his madness and love of burning things. Dany really doesn't help her case by burning alive any captive soldiers who don't side with her. This culminates with her slaughtering most of King's Landing's civilian population in the penultimate episode. Had the show started with the sixth season, there'd be no question that she is Daddy's Little Villain, her tragic backstory and past heroic deeds being a footnote at best.

**This is especially ironic as he’s accused me of doing the same.

Me, I’ve called people out or corrected them when they have gotten facts wrong. I’ve even said they don’t know what they are talking about. The difference is I’m not doing it just on principal as he is here.

I’ve never said someone doesn’t belong in the fandom or is not a real fan. Yet here RDMacQ is outright disqualifying people from having the legitimacy to critique comic books unless they’ve gone through what he deems the ‘appropriate steps’.

If I have told someone they are wrong or don’t know what they are talking about or don’t understand the material I have corroborative EVIDENCE to back it up. Their own statements prove that point.

E.g. RDMacQ doesn’t understand Norman Osborn’s character. Why? Because his statements contradicts the clear cut TEXT (not the subtext) of the source material. See? The source material is the EVIDENCE that supports my accusation. But RDMacQ doesn’t believe in analysis that way and has told me so himself.

***This laughable in he modern day and age where film criticism is so transparently ideologically driven as opposed to sincerely critiquing the merits of a film.

Hence why Bob Chipman and most other professional critics laud works like the Last Jedi which a fifth grader can see has little internal consistency.

[makaris]

Holy fuck, the Iowa Caucus

Okay so I want to break this down, mostly as a way to help myself make sense of it all.  If this helps other folks understand the time line of events, all the better.  My ‘sources’ are scattered and random, as I’ve been absorbing most of this stuff through osmosis and it’s super hard nailing down the ‘best’ link to something, given how fast all this is moving.

I will arbitrarily start my rant here.

BUTTIGIEG BLOCKS CRITICAL DES MOINES POLL

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/02/iowa-poll-swiftly-spiked-after-buttigieg-campaign-issues-complaint

Shortly before the Iowa Caucus was to begin, the CNN/Des Moines poll was set to release. This is, apparently, a very important poll that a lot of the mainstream media (MSM) had already scheduled a lot of coverage for, as it would be a good indicator of the final state of things just before the election.  

Then, Buttigieg campaign blocks its release. Why?  Well, their campaign claimed that one of the pollsters may have not been giving out Buttigieg’s name while calling out.  Not for any nefarious reason, just what is basically an IT issue.  This alone isn’t really too bad.  And, in a vacuum, not really worth too much fuss over.  Like, I do think it’s a bit weird that CNN would let all that money/effort go to waste over a single campaigns minor complaint, but, still, whatever.

The fact that the poll ended up getting leaked and was very favorable to Bernie (and VERY unfavorable to Biden) is another small annoyance.  It would have probably helped get a bit of positive / surprise coverage shortly before the caucus.  But again, whatever.

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/unreleased-final-iowa-poll-had-biden-in-fourth

Given what all ends up happening, it’s a just a prelude to some REAL hinky shit.

THAT FUCKING APP

So election day comes.  I and many others are tuned into various outlets.  We have the NYT and other vote trackers open, watching it all roll out.  Looks like it’s going good for Bernie.  Oh Boy!

Then, around 10PM, the numbers get pulled.  We’re told that some app that was being used to communicate the votes was messing up.  Numbers were going missing.  They aren’t adding up.  Tons of nonsense goes down.  

The company that created the app is a company called Shadow (yes, really), which is part of a larger group called Acronym.  It is staffed by ex Clinton staffers and other failures closely tied to the establishment, so the app being a POS should not be a surprise to anyone.  Oh, and the company accepted over $42k from Buttigieg’s campaign. 

https://www.truthorfiction.com/did-pete-buttigiegs-campaign-donate-42500-to-iowa-caucus-app-developer-shadow-inc/

It should be mentioned that this company and the people behind it will face no real repercussions.  Yeah ‘Shadow’ might go under, but and they might have temporarily lost a few contracts with the DNC.  But never underestimate how corrupt the democratic consultant class can be. They’ll be back to fuck some other shit up in no time.

Now, again, not trying to be conspiratorial here.  Maybe the vapid bougie fucks behind this had no ill intent.  Maybe their worst crime is being morons who did not test their software and accepted money unthinkingly.  But at the very least, their history as agents positioned against one of the front runners, and acceptance of money from one of the others, is a clear conflict of interest and should not have been allowed to happen.

Moving on.

BERNIE RELEASES INTERNAL NUMBERS, BUT BUTTIGIEG VICTORIOUS?

Sander’s campaign releases their internal numbers, showing they are leading by a solid 5 points.

https://twitter.com/reaIKevin/status/1224685920504504321/photo/2

The above is the best we had that night. 

Then, Buttigieg ended up reporting that he was ‘victorious’.  This is obviously misleading at best, as he’d have no way of really knowing that.  It was just blustering.  An attempt to get ahead of the chaos and create The Narrative.

I won’t go into it right now, as this post is going to be long.  But, in the end, the truth is not nearly as important as what people believe.  If Pete can successfully insert the idea that he is winning, enough people won’t question it that you’ll gain some converts, regardless of it being untrue.  Now, MSM would (surprisingly!) criticize him, a bit, but not nearly enough to make it a bad play, strategically.  Pete is dangerous, because he’s the kind of guy that can identify an opening like this, see how it will play out, and shameless act on it.

When he got called out on it (again, surprisingly), he would later claim that he was being just being poetic / flowery, and didn’t mean to say that they had come in 1st and won, which is what victorious means. Pete’s lying, of course, because he is a liar who lies.

We’re getting head of ourselves.  Let’s see what happens the next morning...

CONTROLLING THE NARRATIVE

The party decides that they need to do a LOT of ‘quality control’, and it’s just too much to release all at once.  They need to do it small batches.  And the initial 62% they decide to first release excludes all the area’s where Bernie is doing the best.  

https://twitter.com/joules1971/status/1225057375540916226/photo/1

Hey look, Pete’s fucking winning now (if you exclude all the poorer, urban, or minority focused areas)!  The numbers aren’t in yet, but it fits The Narrative, so who cares!

From then, past initial 62% release up to the 80-something-% yesterday, we at least have some data.  We can look past the noise and see that Buttigieg’s claim to victory is NOT based on the popular vote. It turns out that, even with the releases being poised against him, Bernie is still leading in both the 1st and 2nd round of voting.  The only thing he did not take is the SDE count, so they are end up tied for Delegates.  What are SDE’s?  They’re State Delegate Equivalents.  I’m not going to claim to understand how it works, as it is extremely arcane, but an easier way to think about it is that Bernie won the popular vote, but Buttigieg won some Iowa-based electoral college. And even there, is only winning by a slim margin.

It is very important to stress that the delegates from Iowa BARELY MATTER.  They’re not why Iowa is significant.  The reason we care at all is winning Iowa means you get positive press, and a news cycle dedicated to you.  Most voters do not pay much attention, and will generally vote for whoever they perceive to be winning.  And who they perceive to be winning is generally based on what the media tells them. 

If the goal was to hurt whoever truly won the Iowa election, you would do exactly this.  You would you string along the release of info for as long as possible, so that either A) someone else gains the benefits of the election, based on misrepresenting, incomplete data OR B) folks stop paying attention.

Let’s stop and think.  A bunch of stuff has happened already.  Is it gross incompetence?  Or is there nefarious intent?  Both?  Does the DNC even deserve the benefit of the doubt, after all the shit that they are on the record pulling in 2016?  

Let’s assume incompetence for now, and see if it’s even still possible to think that later.  

The point is, Bernie was getting his (OUR) media cycle stolen, and Buttigieg is now starting to gain in the polls.

UH OH, MATH IS HARD!  

It starts coming out that the totals we were getting were incorrect. 

https://twitter.com/Harvard4Bernie/status/1225189173998411778

Bernie votes (and a few from Warren even!) were going to other candidates. Black Hawk County managed to break into the news cycle, but they were far from alone. 

https://twitter.com/MCulshawMaurer/status/1225198291140268033

https://twitter.com/crulge/status/1225185093091840002

https://twitter.com/Banalization/status/1225199174171451393

https://twitter.com/MikePrysner/status/1225229056519503872

Turns out TONS of counties were seeing major discrepancies.  And, for some reason, all these errors and miscalculations were seeming to only break against Bernie.  In some areas, all of Bernie's votes going to fucking Deval or Steyer, who otherwise had basically no support.  The only reason we found out is because of local leaders that were smart enough to keep there own numbers, were paying close attention, and caught it.  If they hadn’t, we would have never known.  Now that’s what I call ~~~QUALITY CONTROL~~~~<3

I goes without saying that the DNC’s numbers at this point are EXTREMELY SUSPECT, and Bernie’s numbers are starting to look like they might be closer to the truth.  However, even with this blatant idiocy / corruption (your pick), Bernie still has the popular vote. 

TOM PEREZ NEEDS TO RESIGN

That brings us to earlier today, 02/06.  97% of the votes are in.  Bernie is only down by 0.1 points in SDE’s, still will ahead in the popular vote, and we’re clearly going to win at this point.

https://twitter.com/micahuetricht/status/1225131303189852160

The remaining votes are coming from satellite locations, mostly minority groups.  These groups were pulled in by the Bernie campaign and with their support we would surely pull in that last 0.2 percent needed to win in EVERY metric.  There would be no way that the MSM or other campaigns could spin this.  Bernie Won!

Then, Tom Perez puts his foot down, sees Bernie Winning all these unfortunate, unforeseen issues, and decides it’s high time to pull the plug and start the whole thing over from the beginning.

https://twitter.com/TomPerez/status/1225468833458245632

Tom Perez, in case you don’t remember, has been in control of the DNC since 2017 but was an opponent of Sanders during the 2016, including him offering plans on how to best shiv Bernie that were discovered in the Podesta leaks.

https://wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/4429

Notably, he helped engineer the narrative that Bernie could only connect with white liberals (ie the Bernie Bros myth), which has been something the Bernie campaign has been able to successfully push back on until it is now not only untrue, but the exact opposite of the truth.  POC are the back bone of Bernie’s campaign!

https://twitter.com/CANCEL_SAM/status/1225566817889980418

ANYWAY, Tom Perez, sleazeball he is, decided to wait until just before we had crossed the finish line to pull this stunt.  This is a pretty transparent attempt to delay the results (and the left’s victory!) as long as possible.  It also achieves the goal keeping Pete out front and able to boost his polling going into the next states.  Which is so far working for them, gaining 6-9 points just this week in NH.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/latest_polls/democratic_nomination_polls/

I don’t think anyone would be opposed to a recount, but there can be no reason to not release the last 3% (which they already had: (https://twitter.com/JennUWinn84/status/1225474355028746241).  It is overt, blatant corruption.

THE TAKE AWAY / WHAT DO WE DO?

- Don’t feel hopeless.  That’s what they want.

- It is super important that we not only win, but we need to win in CRUSHING numbers.  Because the DNC will pull every trick in the book to stop us, and we need to be ready.

- Paper. Fucking. Ballots.  You’re not a Luddite for wanting this.  It’s just the most practical, tamper-proof method. The app was a technocratic solution that was sold to the DNC, based on a problem they invented.

- More transparent oversight of our elections.   We invade South American countries due to electoral malfeasance with weaker pretenses then what just happened.

- Capitalists will always break fascist when confronted with the possibility of marginally higher taxes. ALWAYS.  For these reasons, If/When Bernie takes over the party, the DNC needs to be purged of EVERY LAST Reagan/Bush/Clinton era asset.  We don’t need them, they are not our allies, they will actively try to sabotage us, and for all these reasons and more unity with them is impossible.

- Do not play into the ‘VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO’ game.  It is not the time for that.  We are in the primary, and Bernie is the front runner.  The old arguments no longer apply, and no longer matter.

There are real fucking stakes here, and half/partial measures aren’t worth shit.  It doesn’t matter if YOU think you’re being principled by showing up to cast a vote for Bloomburg over Trump. Anyone other then Bernie will suppress the vote, full stop.  When people don’t vote, republicans win.  You will not be successful in holding poor / underprivileged people hostage and trying to activate them politically if all your promising them is the status quo, or wonky means tested BS.  

- We’re winning!...

https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2020-primary-forecast/

... But pretend we’re losing!  We can’t get complacent.

Ok that’s enough.  I have idea if anyone will read all this as I have like... four...? Followers?  Sorry for my rant, but it’s time to get politically engaged!  

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x02 Musings

My initial reaction to “Stormborn”

Oh man! Bryan Cogman did the best with what they gave him but boy did I feel sorry for the guy for trying to patch up at least 3 years of sloppy writing and worldbuilding. His exposition fests were more organic than “the biggest forces in the North are the UMBERS and the KARSTARKS and the MANDERLYS” so snaps there, but it’s hard to reconcile everything against the massive inconsistencies at this point.

Dragonstone

This show made me feel something, guys. FEEL something!

Yeah, I mean the MissWorm scene, as I talked about last night. It was tasteful, the shooting was explicit without feeling voyeuristic, and even though I think it went on a hair too long, everything about it worked—especially where they were both coming from and the amazing acting.

If one or both of them dies, I’m going to…idk, devote my life to talking about what a bad show it is?

Then there was everything else.

Hey pro-tip: if you have to exposit about the name of the episode IN the episode, it’s probably not a worthy name

I think it’s great that there was actually continuity. Deadpan questioned why Varys Marx was there since he, you know, tried to kill her. Tyrion was pissed off at Faullaria for murdering Madison. It was almost intrigue!

But all of it was short-lived. Varys goes on and on about how his allegiance is to the realm, but then ends with a shrug of “I choose you” for ~~reasons~~ (without ever clarifying what he saw in Viserys when she asked him), and Deadpan decides that he’s nifty to keep around for equal ~~reasons~~. Because he secured her an alliance with people who murdered their own family?

Tyrion and Faullaria wasn’t even given 10 seconds of consideration though. Tyrion was pissed but oh well. Dems da berries.

Mel popped in, and I got super distracted by the cinematography for some reason. It was like I could see their pores or something. But I did have to appreciate Missandei dropping the language knowledge on us about how it could be the “prince or princess” that was promised. She’d have a field day with the King James Bible.

Anyway, most of these scenes didn’t land because it quickly became the Tyrion Lannister is Gr8 show

He knows about Jonny and it’s his opinion that matters on it

He presents the entire plan about Deadpan’s military moves even though this is the first time we see her meeting with her allies

She parrots him in anything she adds, which is little

Yeah, I know he’s a Hand, but this just fits into the overall pattern of Deadpan’s infantilization.

Also this plan sucks. Like, super sucks. It just felt like them going “okay there’s no way Deadpan wouldn’t cream the Lannisters, so let’s just…have them arbitrarily split up troops so they can have a major force taken out and a reason to not be immediately successful.” Go take Casterly Rock. Maybe it’ll be another empty castle!

“Be a dragon.” Yahhhhhhssss empowerment!!!!

Winterhell

Oh, was there not enough praise for Tyrion on Dragonstone? Don’t worry, Jonny and Sansa get to talk about how great he was too

Ngl, I forgot Davos existed as a character on the show still

It is so damn stupid that Jonny didn’t meet with Sansa beforehand to discuss how he’s going to travel to Dragonstone and put her in charge. She brought up legit concerns, and basically it paints a picture of disarray and incompetence on Jonny’s part that has his lords shouting down his decisions every day

Also now the Northern Lords Remember? About the Mad King? But not about the Red Wedding and the Boltons’ assumed role in it? Or their fealty to the…ah forget it

Honestly if I were Sansa, I’d coalition build and take charge of this shit, because Jonny is going to get all their asses killed.

And the crypts scene. God. Neither Jonny nor Batfinger had a reason to talk to one another, but they still went down there so…Batfinger could say he thought Sansa was hawt. All for the result of “no she’s MY property.” Yum.

Hogwarts

There’s a possible cure for greyscale but rather than testing it more, the leper colony system was set up??

This also just made me wonder why Jorah didn’t lop off his finger when this first happened. JonCon had a specific reason for not doing that, and for wanting to see the invasion through, and because it’s an INTERNAL DISEASE, amputation wasn’t a sure thing anyway.

But no. Flaying works.

Gonna be honest, I have major medical squicks, so I couldn’t really watch this scene. I’m sure it was intriguing.

Arya

Love that Arya seemed apathetic about meeting up with Hot Pie again. Like…what the fuck, she was being so rude! Are we supposed to think she’s feral? But then, the too-feral Nymeria wouldn’t go with her because “that’s not her” (this was in evidence), so Arya is soft for wanting to go back to Winterhell? WHAT IS HAPPENING

Honestly, no clue what they were going for. I’m not convinced Maisie Williams knew either.

What a CLEVER way to save on the CGI budget.

Cheryl’s Landing

By the way, it is such common-knowledge that Cheryl blew everyone up that even HOT PIE knows it, but yet people are still giving her the time of day?

And I could totally have bought Tarly picking her side out of his extreme hatred for non-Westerosi (Dothraki) like he had for Wildlings, literally his ONLY DEFINING TRAIT, but they didn’t even mention that! They said he was undecided?

Then why did you schlep down there with Billy Bones? Just to hear her out?

Is Olenna serving as Lord Paramount officially, then? And Deadpan’s dragons seriously don’t change Randyll’s calculus?

Balerion’s skull was not as large as I imagined, but I actually think Cheryl having an anti-dragon bow mostly works. And could help save on even more CGI costs!

Yallaria and Euron the Burninator

Okay the Sand Fakes are officially the worst characters written in the history of anything ever. Glad they’re super mean to each other to the end.

Yallaria didn’t live up to the hype. I mean “foreign invasion” is just…oh my god what the fuck did I just watch. And it was so obviously written by a straight dude, I can’t even begin to describe. Pure swill for a titillating trailer shot, and I’m not crying it was interrupted

I couldn’t see or follow this battle at all. Euron had fireballs and was an OP fighter, a la Ramsay being armorless and surrounded by a field of corpses in 5x10. Nifty.

This was so obviously just “we need him to capture Yara and Faullaria” (and I’m assuming they think a unique death will be dramatically satisfying for Tyene) that it was hard to be invested in anything

Aaaand once again Theon’s PTSD is framed as a horrible negative and what a shit how could he leave his sister like that and oh my god didn’t he go back to being the old, useful Theon? Just. Icing on the craptastic cake. What a horrible fucking pattern, and it’s just. It’s not okay.

Top 3 nitpicks:

Let’s take Casterly Rock by the sea!

The magical greyscale cure

Deadpan’s peeps not knowing about the massive iron fleet? Or maybe Euron magically knowing that Deadpan’s peeps were heading to Dorne over Cheryl’s Landing?

I guess it wasn’t like...that bad? I mean it wasn’t Season 5 or 6 level. But idk, I’m just having trouble seeing many positives, even when Cogman did what he could to create a sense of continuity and meaning. Am I alone with that? 

[coffeeonthebrunhild-blog]

SolidS Unit CD Vol. 2 Translation

[Disclaimer: I did not write the content of this drama CD myself; I only translated it into English. I worked hard on this translation, so please do not re-post without my permission. Copies of these CDs can be purchased from wonderful sites like CD Japan or Animate International.

When it comes to Japanese I still have much to learn, so if you notice a mistranslation, please kindly let me know.]

Track 1: You’re Not Allowed to Object (異論は認めない)

 Shiki: That being said, I know this is sudden, but after today’s job is finished, we’ll all be moving into the dorms.

Tsubasa: Haah!?

Dai: Yessir.

Rikka: Roger. I’ve been expecting this for a while, so I’m pretty much packed… But telling us in the morning that we’re moving tonight already really is sudden, Shiki.

Shiki: It seems there was a miscommunication between the dorm and the agency. Sorry, Rikka. They just sent me the dorm’s address along with a map. I have the keys for each of our rooms. This one is Dai’s, Rikka’s, and then Tsubasa’s. They’re already furnished with the bare necessities, so there shouldn’t be a problem staying there tonight. You can pick up your clothes and everyday stuff tomorrow morning. If there’s anything else you can’t live without, buy it yourself tonight. Don’t forget to keep the receipt. Beyond that, any large furniture or personal items can be moved at a later date, and you can arrange that with the person in charge at the agency. It’s up to you to discuss scheduling with the manager. That’s all. Any questions?

Tsubasa: Yes, me me me!!

Shiki: You’re not allowed to object.

Tsubasa: But I haven’t said anything yet!

Shiki: *sigh* What, then?

Tsubasa: I don’t wanna move into a dorm.

Shiki: I’ll say it again: you’re not allowed to object. Now then, everybody get your things—

Tsubasa: Wait, wait, wait!! Don’t decide all this for us! At least talk to us about it first!

Shiki: It’s written into your contract.

Tsubasa: Eh?

Rikka: It’s certainly in there.

Shiki: On top of that, I mentioned it myself when I explained your contract. But you just said, “Yeah yeah, got it, you handle the details,” and left it at that.

Dai: You just wanted it over with.

Tsubasa: Geh!

Shiki: Therefore, you have no right to complain. Hopefully this will teach you that you should read a contract carefully before you sign it. That’s what adults do.

Tsubasa: Gehh! Damn tyrannical producer!

Rikka: Now, now, Tsubasa, calm down.

Shiki: I’m sorry we couldn’t give you more notice. But, when we took into account our upcoming schedule and the timing for Tsubasa’s exams, today was the only day it worked out.

Tsubasa: Can you not make this my fault!?

Dai: “Idol Repeats a Year…”

Tsubasa: It’s not that bad yet! Don’t turn me into the latest scandal!

Shiki: We’ll each have our own room, and the agency covers the dorm’s utility costs. It’s located in the Tokyo metro area, with good public transportation access. Your commute to school shouldn’t be bad. So what’s the problem?

Tsubasa: I have loads of ‘em!

Rikka: Could it be… your parents won’t approve?

Tsubasa: Uh, nah, that’s not an issue. My folks have a noninterference policy, so I’m on my own. And even if they didn’t, I’m already an adult. Actually, I’m living alone right now.

Shiki: Then what is it? Do you think you’ll be homesick?

Tsubasa: Don’t make fun of me!

Shiki: What don’t you like about this?

Tsubasa: To start with, your attitude.

Dai: How childish are you?

Tsubasa: Shut it, Dai-chan! You know how much I hate it when people go over my head!

Dai: Don’t call me Dai-chan! What’s wrong with the dorm? It looks like it’s close to your college.

Rikka: Ah, so it is! This seems like it’d be pretty convenient for you, Tsubasa.

Dai: In the first place, these days you only go home to sleep, right? You’re only changing where your bed is.

Tsubasa: That’s a huge problem, though! He’s arbitrarily dictating what our lifestyles should be! Doesn’t that bother you, Dai?

Dai: Not particularly. We knew this when we signed.

Tsubasa: You traitor!

Dai: I don’t remember being your ally.

Tsubasa: Usually, everybody thinks dorm life is depressing!

Dai: We won’t know that until we try it, right?

Rikka: That’s right, this will be Dai’s first time living alone.

Tsubasa: What about you, Rikka? Are you okay with the dorm?

Rikka: Me? Yup! I don’t really mind it. If anything, I’m grateful. With my schedule getting so busy, going back home in between just means more trouble.

Shiki: Also, there’s lots of merits to living in the dorm. I’ve been in a Tsukino dorm since I debuted. It’s nice not having to worry about being ambushed by fans or harassed by haters.

Rikka: Ah, that really is nice.

Tsubasa: What’s with those celebrity-like lines…

Shiki: We are celebrities. And you two are part of us now, right?

Dai: Shiki, I just want to make sure: what do you mean by harassment?

Shiki: Hm. Some mundane examples would be stalking, and sneak photography.

Rikka: There’s also, let’s see, fishing through your garbage to steal things, and leaving various items in your mailbox, yeah?

Tsubasa: Gehhh.

Dai: Seriously?

Shiki: You’re pretty lucky if that’s all you have to deal with. When it gets more complicated, things can escalate into police incidents.

Tsubasa: Gaaah, stop tryin’ to scare me!

Shiki: It’s the truth.

Rikka: Also, when you keep coming home to a dark, empty apartment night after night, it can really take a toll on your spirit. I hate that feeling, so I’ve been staying at the agency a lot. I’ll welcome the move.

Shiki: At the dorm, there’s always somebody else around.

Tsubasa: Urrrgh, but, you know! You can’t have much privacy in a dorm. I really hate how everything we do will be controlled. I can feel my free spirited mentality screaming!

Shiki: I could care less about your privacy or your mentality.

Tsubasa: That’s my biggest issue!!

Dai: Since when are you so delicate?

Rikka: And you, Dai? Is there anything you’re worried about? I think Shiki explained everything to your parents, but… if there’s anything else, you should tell us now.

Dai: There’s not particularly. My mom said it’s fine, too. If anything, she’s happier not paying my food expenses.

Rikka: Oh really? That’s a relief. If there’s ever anything bothering you, you can always talk to me or Shiki.

Dai: Yessir.

Shiki: Mm. Well then, shall we get to work?

 *

 Tsubasa: Ahh, I worked hard today! But after this day of honest work, I’m going to a dorm instead of my own home… Awww.

Rikka: Hehe, good work, Tsubasa. The dorm will be your palace soon enough. We have a full schedule tomorrow morning, so maybe you’ll appreciate being so close to work then. Um, Shiki. Our first interview tomorrow morning is pretty early, isn’t it?

Shiki: Yeah, it’s at 7. Oi, Tsubasa. Even if the dorm is close to the agency, don’t oversleep.

Tsubasa: Ehh? Darling, you’ll wake me up, won’t you?

Shiki: You’re better off not sleeping, Honey.

Dai: Oh, I should’ve brought my pillow.

Tsubasa: Huh? Dai-chan, are you the type who can’t sleep with a different pillow?

Dai: I can sleep, but if the pillow’s too fluffy my neck’ll hurt.

Rikka: To prevent that, you can roll up a towel and use that for a pillow.

Tsubasa: Oooh, as expected of Rikka, the celebrity who can sleep anywhere! Nice advice. *Gasp* Crap, I forgot something too! Clean underwear! I planned to buy some while we were moving!

Shiki: Is that a word you should say so loudly?

Tsubasa: Argh, all the stores’ll be closed this late. Dammit! I figured I’d at least start my imprisonment with some super expensive underwear!

Dai: What kind of underwear is that? The expensive ones can’t be that different, right?

Tsubasa: Some top brands go for around 10,000 yen.

Dai: Seriously!?

Shiki: You can endure for another day. The convenience store will have some.

 *

 Tsubasa: Underwear, underwear… Ah, here we go.

Dai: Can I get this t-shirt to sleep in?

Shiki: Yeah, that’s fine. It’s pretty cheap.

Dai: Thanks.

Tsubasa: Yuck, they only have white shirts.

Dai: You complain too much.

Tsubasa: But I’d never wear this again. It’s too much of a waste.

Dai: The agency is buying, so it’s fine.

Tsubasa: Ugh. Ah, Rikka? You need any underwear?

Rikka: Nah, I’m okay.

Shiki: Hm? No need to hold back.

Rikka: No, that’s not it.

Tsubasa: *Gasp* Oh my god… are you a nudist?? Rikka, are you the type who sleeps naked!?

Rikka: I’m not! I just already have my underwear.

Dai: Just how well prepared are you?

Rikka: I thought we’d be out late tonight. When going home is too much trouble, I stay in hotels sometimes. So when it looks like a late night, I pack ahead of time.

Tsubasa: So you carry yours with you…

Dai: That’s a model for you.

Rikka: Um, if you’re that impressed, it’s actually embarrassing…

Dai: Ah!

Tsubasa: Hm? What’s up, Dai-chan?

Dai: This song…

Tsubasa: Ooh, it’s our song!

Shiki: The agency is really promoting it, after all.

Dai: This is the first time I’ve heard it outside. … It’s a weird feeling.

Tsubasa: Ehh, really? Aren’t we cool?

Shiki: Obviously.

Tsubasa: That’s surprising. I thought you’d be more modest.

Shiki: I have complete confidence in all of you. There’s no way you wouldn’t be cool.

Tsubasa: !! … R-really…

Dai: … Yessir.

Rikka: Hehe!

Dai: I wonder how many people are hearing this right now.

Rikka: It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? To think we really did have our debut…

Shiki: It’s no big deal.

Tsubasa: I’m not sure if you really are that self-assured, or you just can’t read the mood.

Rikka: Hehe, that’s how Shiki is. Compared to him, I’m sentimental. Making our debut, moving to the dorm, starting everything in earnest… It’s such an exciting feeling. When I think that the story of SolidS—our story—is finally starting, it makes me happy.

Shiki: Well, it’s true we met our starting conditions. … Once again, all of you, *bows* I’m looking forward to working with you.

Tsubasa: Shiki…

Rikka: Mm. That’s our line. We’re counting on you, Leader. Everyone, I look forward to working with you.

Tsubasa: Heh! Roger! Let’s all be open with each other. We don’t need any stuffy pretenses between us, okay? Let’s face each other, fight it out, and have a blast.

Dai: Sounds good. … I’m looking forward to it.

Shiki: Well, shall we head to our new home?

  Track 2: Cohabitation, Start! (共同生活の始まり)

 *opening a box*

Dai: Somehow, I ended up with a ton of stuff. After I told her not to pack that much… I’ve already been here a week, huh. It’s about time I finish unpacking, but… with all our jobs, I can only work on it at night. It’s gonna take a while.

*Knocking*

Dai: Come in!

Rikka: Dai. Are you busy right now?

Dai: Nah, not really.

Rikka: Did you do a little more unpacking? Wait, huh? Is this all you brought? There’s so little…

Dai: I was thinking this is plenty, though. We’ve got the furniture, and there’s a convenience store nearby. I don’t need to bring much else, right? Uh, well? Did you need something?

Rikka: Ah, yeah. If you want, will you come to the lounge? I was thinking we could eat some snacks and rice porridge[A1] .

Dai: Didn’t the cafeteria close at 9?

Rikka: That’s why I’m going to make it. They said we could use the kitchen in the common room, so that makes me want to try it out. Though, that’s just an excuse. Unpacking my things just made me hungry.

Dai: You eat a lot for how thin you are.

Rikka: Haha! I’m told that a lot.

*Crash*

Tsubasa: Whooa!! Oww….

Rikka: That was… from Tsubasa’s room, wasn’t it?

Dai: *sigh* What’d he do now?

 *

 Dai: Hey, Tsubasa, you’re being too lou— Geh! What’s with this disaster scene?

Tsubasa: Oh, Dai and Rikka! Perfect timing! If you’re free, could you help me clean up?

Rikka: Ummm, you have… quite a few things here.

Tsubasa: Ah, really? There’s so much stuff I forgot to bring, though.

Rikka: A guitar, a folding bike, a CD tower… What’s this ball?

Tsubasa: My personal futsal ball! It’s really big at my college right now.

Dai: What’s this Mt. Hakone-sized pile over here?

Tsubasa: Just what it looks like—shoes.

Dai: How many feet do you have, octopus? Throw out half of ‘em.

Tsubasa: What’re you saying? To be ready for any occasion, I need at least that many!

Dai: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Before you pull out anything else, let’s at least get all these clothes off the floor. Ugh, geez. Aw, look here! Since you put all this stuff on top, it’s become a foundation now…. *Starts cleaning*

Tsubasa: I woke up Dai’s inner mother-in-law!

Rikka: I’ll help too, so you make sure you do your part, okay Tsubasa? Though even with our help, this is just… It doesn’t look like we can clean this up in one night.

Tsubasa: Right? Gaah, what a pain! This is why I didn’t wanna move!

Rikka: Now, now. You’re tired too, right Tsubasa? Let’s clean up this corner, and then take a break for some snacks.

Tsubasa: Yeah, let’s eat! But before that, I wanna see your room, Rikka!

Rikka: Huh? But, it’s still a mess?

Tsubasa: It can’t be worse than my room!

Rikka: Well, there’s nothing I wouldn’t want you to see, so I don’t mind…

Tsubasa: Awright, it’s decided! Let’s observe a model’s habitat! *Leaves*

Dai: He’s never cleaning all this up. I’ll bet you anything.

Rikka: Haha…

 *

 Tsubasa: Pardon the intrusion~ Ooooh!

Dai: Ooh!

Tsubasa & Dai: This is a model’s room!

Rikka: You two really won’t let that go, huh…

Tsubasa: Like I thought, there’s lots of cool stuff!

Dai: Right? There’s a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t look cluttered. Why is that?

Rikka: Hmmm… the balance between the things I do and don’t show off, maybe?

Tsubasa: Ooh, that sofa looks expensive!

Rikka: Ah, that was a prop for a shoot I did once. I felt strangely comfortable sitting on it, so I splurged and bought it afterwards. I’m too attached to get rid of it.

Dai: Rikka, can I sit on it?

Rikka: Go ahead.

*Dai sits*

Dai: Ooh, it’s soft and fluffy. It really is relaxing.

Rikka: I’d prefer to have a tidy room like yours, Dai, but it’s just too hard.

Tsubasa: Hey, hey, Rikka! Can I look in your closet?

Rikka: You’re both really into this. Go ahead.

Tsubasa: Tada! … Whoa, how stylish!

Dai: Lemme see. Whoa. Are you the Fashion Banchou?

Rikka: Banchou!? I got interested in clothes because of my work, and I buy a lot of the items I’ve modeled, so it just keeps growing. Now! If you two are satisfied, shall we have our snacks?

 *

 Tsubasa: Ahh, I’m starving!

Shiki: Oh, it’s you guys. You’re still up?

Rikka: It’s Shiki!

Dai: Sir.

Tsubasa: You’re done with your meetings?

Shiki: Yeah. I just got back.

Rikka: Good work. It must be rough being both leader and producer. If you’re up for it, wanna join us for a light snack?

Shiki: Hmm. I could go for something spicy.

Rikka: Okay! Coming right up.

Shiki: Want some coffee?

Tsubasa: Ah, I do! Hey, are you done unpacking your room?

Shiki: Yeah. I was already in a dorm, so I just moved everything as-is. It was easy since the floorplan is the same.

Dai: Heeh. There’s other dorms, then?

Shiki: There’s several. It’s mostly about security, so they’re all built the same way. The guys you met at the agency recently, from Gravi and Procella, live a little closer to Shibuya.

Dai: Heeh, near Shibuya?

Tsubasa: Ah, I exchanged e-mails with everyone! Dai-chan, let’s go hang out at their dorm sometime soon! They have a huge pet rabbit that’ll eat anything!

Shiki: Tsubasa. It’s fine and good to make friends, but those kids are our agency’s precious top sellers. Don’t teach them anything weird. Their managers and the President would kill me.

Tsubasa: You don’t trust me at all!

Dai: You reap what you sow.

Rikka: Everyone, the food is ready! Eat it while it’s warm.

  Track 3: Irritation (苛立ち)

 Rikka: Mm… *stretching* Today’s a photo shoot, right? What time is it…? Good, I still have plenty of time. Okay! *gets up*

 *

 Shiki: Rikka.

Rikka: Oh, Shiki! Morning. You’re up early.

Shiki: You, too. Want some coffee?

Rikka: No, sorry. I’ll have some later.

Shiki: That outfit means… you’re going for a run?

Rikka: Yup! Just for a little. Since we’ve been out all day lately, I don’t know the area well yet. I’ve been getting some exercise while looking around.

Shiki: You shouldn’t push yourself too hard; just look at the guy who lazes around all day.

Rikka: I don’t run every day. When it’s raining, I stay home.

Dai: *yawn* Good… morning.

Shiki: Morning.

Rikka: Morning, Dai. Did you sleep okay? The snacks didn’t give you a stomachache?

Dai: Nah, s’fine. I slept so hard I didn’t even dream. I got my pillow yesterday.

Rikka: Oh good! I’m happy for you. Well, I’m heading out. I’ll be back in less than an hour.

Shiki: Got it.

Dai: We were up super late last night, but he’s still running… Is he a monster?

Shiki: Must be his routine. He’s always been worried about staying in shape.

Dai: Isn’t he fit enough as it is?

Shiki: He’s not the type to cut corners. You wouldn’t think he wanted to quit, huh?

Dai: How diligent is he?

Shiki: Well, it’s true you can’t survive on looks alone.

Dai: So he’s talented, and a hard worker? He’s really something. He’s been in the industry longer than you have, right?

Shiki: Yeah. From that perspective he’s my senpai. Anyway, what about you, Dai? You don’t have a workout routine?

Dai: I did before, but lately, not really.

Shiki: Really? Well, you just changed your entire lifestyle. Don’t overdo it.

Dai: Eh?

Shiki: You look like you want to start running too now.

Dai: Nah, I… don’t really… Probably…

Shiki: Pfff. Compete with Rikka if you want, but you should give yourself a little more time to settle into your new life. Don’t rush it. Hurting yourself won’t accomplish anything.

Dai: … Yessir.

Shiki: By the way… is your partner still sleeping?

Dai: Please stop treating me and Tsubasa like a set.

Shiki: I need you to help keep him in line. Please. He always butts heads with me, but he seems like he’ll listen to you and Rikka, to an extent at least.

Dai: *sigh* I’ll go wake him up, then.

Shiki: I appreciate it. I’ll make us some tasty black coffee.

Dai: … For mine, could you… add a little milk?

Shiki: Pff. Understood.

 *

 Tsubasa: *yawning* So sleepy…

Dai: But you slept as late as you possibly could!

Tsubasa: I can’t help it if I’m sleepy. *yawns* Wake me when we get there…

Shiki: Oi! Look sharp! If you’re half asleep in front of the camera—

*Tsubasa snoring*

Shiki: That was fast!

Rikka: Haha…

Dai: Well, in his case, I think he’ll wake up the instant you point a camera at him.

Shiki: *Long sigh*

Rikka: He’s quite a showman, our Tsubasa.

Dai: He just likes standing out.

Rikka: But that’s a valuable talent too.

Shiki: Well, it helps that nothing fazes him, but…

Dai: Can’t we just throw him into some kinda variety show? That, or a comedy show.

Rikka: Haha, good idea! He’d get us more fans either way.

Shiki: Worst case, if he screws up today’s job, I’ll seriously consider it

Dai: Shiki raised your death flag. Do your best on the comedy show, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Mmm… what’re ya sayin[A2] ’… *snores*

Shiki: Well, let’s go over today’s schedule. First, we’ll go meet with the recording company. A lot of big shots will be watching you, so be prepared for that.

Rikka: I’m getting nervous…

Dai: Don’t give me that, Demon Conman.

Rikka: That’s quite a nickname!

Shiki: After that, we’ll be shooting all afternoon.

Rikka: They mostly want solo shots for our next single insert, right?

Shiki: Yeah. We’ll do a few pair and group shots too, but mainly solo. We’ll do different pictures to go with each song, which should give us the freedom to show off each member’s individual charm as well. Photography is your arena, so show off to your heart’s content, Rikka.

Rikka: But this shoot is for SolidS, not just me.

Shiki: I’m saying the rest of us will benefit if you go all out. You better not hold back on us.

Rikka: Hehehe! Roger.

Dai: But, solo shots? I have such a bad feeling about this…

Tsubasa: *sleeping*

Rikka: Tsubasa should be full of energy for the shoot.

Shiki: Hrmph.

 *

 Photographer: Okay, now let’s take a few test shots for the solo photos!

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Uh, Tsubasa-kun, do me a favor?

Tsubasa: Yes?

Photographer: Could you go for a more natural look? Right now it feels a little fake.

Tsubasa: Okay! Natural? Natural, huh… Got it!

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Ah, that’s great, Tsubasa-kun! And could you tilt your head a little more to the left? Just relax! Yeah, that’s it. Ahh, eyes on the camera. *camera clicking* This time look away, toward the ceiling… Ahhh, perfect! And now look straight at the camera and give me a little bit of a glare. Like you wanna burn a hole through the person on the other side!

Tsubasa: Roger! A burning glare… That’s it! Excuse me, can I make a request?

Photographer: What is it?

Tsubasa: Can we have Shiki stand behind the cameraman?

Shiki: Huh? What’re you saying?

Tsubasa: If my eternal nemesis is there, I’ll get way more into it.

Shiki: Your eternal nemesis?

Photographer: Haha, okay. Shiki-kun, can you do it?

Shiki: Bring it on.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Oh! Perfect. Just like that, as provocative as you can. We’ll try out some pair shots next.

Dai: That’ll just make them scowl even worse.

Rikka: Haha. The sense of tension comes out nicely, though?

 *

 *camera clicking*

Photographer: Okay, that’s enough! Good work, you two. Go ahead and take a break.

Shiki: Okay.

Tsubasa: ‘Scuse  me, can I look at the shots we just took?

Photographer: Yes. They’re all collected on this iPad, so be my guest.

Tsubasa: Thanks! Oooh! I really am cool!

Shiki: You’re such a narcissist.

Tsubasa: You were scowling way too much though.

Shiki: Worry about yourself.

Photographer: Now, while they’re resting, let’s take a few of Rikka and Dai-kun.

Rikka: Okay. I’ll be in your hands.

Dai: Yessir.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Ooh, that glance is as cool as ever, Rikka! You’re giving me chills! If you show me a face like that, I’m gonna get greedy! Could you sweeten it up a teensy bit? Yes, yes, yes, yes! Perfect, just like that!

*camera clicking*

Tsubasa: Wow! Rikka’s all out.

Shiki: That’s what a pro looks like. Watch him closely.

Tsubasa: When he’s in work mode, Rikka’s lady killer style really is sinful, huh? He’s got that devilish vibe. He’s such a nice, normal guy inside, though.

Shiki: That contrast is his selling point.

Photographer: Great, all done! Do the real shots just like that, too.

Rikka: Yes! I’ll be relying on your direction.

Photographer: Now, last but not least, Dai-kun. You’re up.

Dai: Thanks.

Rikka: *Sigh*

Tsubasa: Sup, Lady Killer?

Rikka: I’ve got nothing on you, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Ahaha, don’t try to act modest.

Rikka: I’m not acting modest at all. No stuffy pretenses between us, right? Look. I really like this expression of yours, Tsubasa.

Tsubasa: Really? If you say so, Rikka, I suddenly feel more confident! I think this one is pretty cool too; your thoughts?

Rikka: Mm! That one shows off your strong will. Shiki looks…. Pfffff!

Shiki: What?

Rikka: Ah, sorry, sorry. It’s this one you took with Tsubasa. It’s really good.

Shiki: Don’t tease me.

Rikka: I’m not teasing you! You’re really making a great face! It brings out an unexpected side of you. Like, ‘Ah, Shiki can make that kind of face too.’

Shiki: Seriously, stop teasing me.

Tsubasa: As for you, Rikka, aren’t you too sinfully seductive? I kinda feel like I’ll get turned on if I look at this too much. How can I produce pheromones like this?

Shiki: Wasn’t there a better way you could have said that?

Tsubasa: Eh? That was a mega compliment, though?

Rikka: Um….. Thank you… very much….

Tsubasa: Ugh, seriously, how do you do this?

Rikka: Hahaha….

*camera clicking*

Photographer: You’re still too stiff, Dai-kun. Could you liven your face up a bit more?

Dai: !! Sorry.

*camera clicking*

Shiki: Dai is struggling, huh.

Rikka: It looks like it. If he gets stuck now, he’ll only get more nervous. I’m a little worried.

*camera clicking*

Photographer: Pretend you’re on stage, and give us some impact!

Dai: Okay….

Photographer: I saw the tape of your first show. You were making a great face. Try remembering how you felt then? With the heat of the venue, and the fans’ excited faces…

Assistant 1: Man, even though he’s got the looks…

Assistant 2: We just need to cure this awkwardness.

Rikka: Um, why don’t we take a breather? A change of pace might help.

Photographer: You’re right. Let’s do that.

Dai: Um!! I’m… fine. I’ll keep going!

Tsubasa: Yes, yes, good work! *throws arm around Dai* You’re way too stiff, Dai-chan. Relax!

Dai: *throws Tsubasa off* Shut up.

Shiki: Well, not everyone thoughtlessly nails their first shoot like Tsubasa did. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Don’t let it bother you.

Tsubasa: If you’re gonna praise me, could you do it more directly, Producer?

Shiki: But, I need you to master this. Get used to it. This is another part of the job.

Dai: ! … Yessir.

Rikka: Don’t worry. You can definitely do it, Dai.

Dai: That’s easy for you to say.

Rikka: Huh?

Tsubasa: Hey now, Dai!

Dai: !! …. Sorry.

Rikka: …. No…. I was a little insensitive, too. Sorry.

Dai: ….. Bathroom. I’m gonna cool my head.

Shiki: Dai’s especially nervous today.

Tsubasa: Rikka, sorry about that? That’s not how he really feels… He was just taking his frustration with himself out on you. Unlike me, Dai-chan is really responsible and hard-working, you know?

Rikka: Ah, yeah, I know. Thanks, Tsubasa. I don’t mind. Even when you’re used to it, standing in front of the camera can be stressful, and it’s even worse when you’re not. I just forgot about that.

Tsubasa: Hm? Does that mean even you get nervous, Rikka?

Rikka: Yes! Of course I do.

Tsubasa: While making that sexy face?

Rikka: Umm….

Tsubasa: Really? That’s surprising. I’ve never really been nervous before. Sometimes I shake when I’m really worked up, though. Like, trembling with excitement?

Rikka: Haha, that sounds like you.

Shiki: If you and Dai could balance out, that would be perfect.

Tsubasa: What’re you saying? If we did that, we’d both be average and boring, right?

Photographer: Haha, that’s true.

Shiki: Director! Good work.

Photographer: Good work, Shiki. Well, we planned an extra day of shooting in case something like this happened, so don’t worry. There’s no need to rush. We got several decent shots, and compared to when he started, he’s doing much better. Getting a good expression out of him is my job.

Shiki: We really appreciate you saying that.

Photographer: I think Dai-kun has a lot of potential. That’s why I couldn’t help but ask for too much. Ah, Rikka. I’d like to take a lot more shots of you like we did earlier. I wanna capture that same atmosphere from before. Can you pose again?

Rikka: Ah, yes. I understand.

 *

 Dai: What’s wrong with me? I’m being such a brat.

  Track 4: I Don’t Wanna Lose (負けたくない)

 *Dai enters his room & shuts himself in the bathroom*

*Water running*

Dai: *sigh* … I thought they’d never leave me alone. *sigh* In the end, I couldn’t finish the shoot. They said we’ll try again tomorrow, but… I’m the only one who’s not done. … He said to liven up my face, but… how am I supposed to do that?

Tsubasa: *enters Dai’s room* Dai-chan! Huh, that’s weird. I thought he came in here… *Enters bathroom* Ah, here you are! *Snaps picture*

Dai: Wa—! What the heck!!

Tsubasa: It’s a candid pic of Dai~.

Dai: Quit the pointless crap!

Tsubasa: It’s not pointless! They told me to do this. *more pictures*

Dai: Haah?

Tsubasa: They said to take a bunch of candid pics. They’ll use ‘em in fan club releases. And if we take lotsa pictures of you, Dai, you’ll get used to the camera.

Dai: *sigh*

Tsubasa: Oi!

Dai: *flops down on his bed*

Tsubasa: O~i. Dai? Dai-chan?

Dai: What?

Tsubasa: I’m warning you now: don’t you dare say things like being an idol isn’t your style, or you’re not suited for it.

Dai:  I won’t say that.

Tsubasa: Oh yeah?

Dai: Don’t belittle me. Once I decide to do something, I won’t back down that easily.

Tsubasa: Ahh, that’s a relief. If you said something that lame, I’d hafta beat the crap outta you.

Dai: Stop thinking you can settle everything with your fists. We’re not living in an old TV show. We’re all human, so we should try talking it out first.

Tsubasa: Ha! You look tough, Dai, but you’re more the mature, pacifist type, huh? But, wouldn’t a punch get the point across faster sometimes?

Dai: Never. And anyway, if we pulled that crap now, Shiki’d be super pissed.

Tsubasa: Uwa, what a pain.

Dai: If you get it, restrain yourself. *covers himself with his blanket*

Tsubasa: Joking aside, you’re pretty discouraged, right?

Dai: … Not particularly. Not discouraged. I never thought I’d be good at this from the start.

Tsubasa: So you were expecting this?

Dai: At least, I know there’s no point comparing myself to you.

Tsubasa: Ha! Well, yeah. If I do say so myself, I’m a natural. I’m taking to it like a fish to water.

Dai: You said it.

Tsubasa: But, becoming a fish is your specialty, right? Since you were a swimmer!

Dai: Were you trying to say something clever there?

Tsubasa: Wasn’t it clever?

Dai: It wasn’t. If you came here to nag me, you suck at it.

Tsubasa: Hmmm, close, but not quite.

Dai: Huh?

Tsubasa: I’m looking out for you as your elder. C’mon, Dai-chan, tell Tsubasa-onii-chan all about it! I’ll listen to all your complaints!

Dai: *sigh* Get out! *starts to drag Tsubasa out*

Tsubasa: Whoa, w-w-wait, wait!! I get it, I get it! I’ll stop, I’ll stop, so don’t pull me, you’re stretching my shirt! This t-shirt is a premium brand, you know!? And Dai-chan, aren’t you a pacifist!? Are you listening!?

Dai: I’m not listening!

Tsubasa: Then listen!! *Dai shoves him out* Oi, Dai!

*Dai locks the door*

Tsubasa: Geez, you’re so obviously down. I’ll tell you this—ever since you bit Rikka’s head off earlier, he’s been way more depressed than you are! You better apologize for real later, okay? That’s it for your Onii-chan’s lecture!

Dai: *sigh* Who the heck is my ‘onii-chan,’ dumbass?

 *

Rikka: *sigh*

Shiki: Rikka! *approaches* There you are. You weren’t in your room, so I was looking for you.

Rikka: Oh… sorry.

Shiki: Can I sit here?

Rikka: Mm, of course. *He moves aside so Shiki can sit* Um, Shiki…

Shiki: What’s up?

Rikka: I’m sorry… about today. I ruined the mood at the studio…

Shiki: You didn’t do anything wrong. Dai is responsible for his own attitude.

Rikka: You’re really harsh.

Shiki: It’s not that I’m blaming Dai. We’re asking him to do something completely foreign to him, at a professional level. Of course he’s going to feel nervous.

Rikka: Mm… that’s true.

Shiki: By the way, Tsubasa is an exception. He’s all kinds of abnormal. Comparing the two of them is idiotic.

Rikka: Very true.

Shiki: Everybody’s like Dai when they start. He won’t give up after one little setback. He’s a tough kid. But, if you get depressed over this, too, how can we help him?

Rikka: … I guess you’re right. I get your point, but… Sorry. Somehow, I can’t help but make this personal.

Shiki: You mean Dai’s problem?

Rikka: Mm. Yes. A really long time ago, when I was still a small child… When I had only just started modeling, and people kept telling me to smile, there was a time when I stopped knowing what kind of face I should make. I thought too much into it, and it got to a point where I couldn’t look at the camera.

Shiki: Hmph. That sounds like you. You’re so earnest that you always end up overthinking things.

Rikka: Heh, right? Watching Dai today, I found myself remembering that time. So, I got anxious for him and selfishly interfered, even though I know I should just watch over him. I shouldn’t have said those things.

Shiki: Even though he looks so strong and collected on the outside, our Dai is actually really sensitive, right? I understand. You two have more in common than you’d think.

Rikka: Eh? Do we?

Shiki: Yup. Neither of you has a personality to match how you look.

Rikka: Heh! I see.

Shiki: But, how did you get past it?

Rikka: Huh?

Shiki: You couldn’t smile anymore, right? But even so, you overcame that. That’s why you’re here today.

Rikka: Oh, right. That was…

Now he mentions it, what did I do back then…? I wasn’t even in grade school yet. The staff were all adults, so I got nervous and froze up… and I couldn’t follow their instructions. The more we tried to re-do the shoot, the more I panicked… and we couldn’t accomplish anything at all. When that happened… what did I do? Did I just get used to it after trying over and over? At some point, I just got over it? … No…

Shiki: Rikka?

Dai: Hey. What’re you two whispering about?

Rikka: !! Dai!

Dai: You’re talking about me, aren’t you?

Shiki: Yeah, we are.

Dai: If it’s about all the things I did wrong today, please tell me too.

Shiki: That’s not what this is about.

Rikka: We were just going over what happened today.

Dai: Isn’t it weird for you to go over my problems?

Rikka: Mm… that’s true, but… Dai! I’m so sorry about today! It might have seemed like I don’t believe in you, and maybe you thought I brushed over your feelings, but that’s not it! I wish I could have said things a little better—

Dai: Hold on! You don’t get it at all, do you?

Rikka: Eh?

Dai: I was just down on myself cuz you’re so damn cool!!

Rikka: !!! Dai…!

Dai: Don’t make me spell out something so embarrassing! Dammit… It’s not like I wanna stand out like Tsubasa. I like listening to music, but I never cared about singing myself. I don’t think I’m particularly talented. I’ve known from the start that I’m not suited for this job.

Rikka: That’s not—

Dai: Just hang on and let me finish!! In my wildest dreams, I never thought of becoming an idol. But that day, when Shiki scouted me… I suddenly wanted to try it. I don’t understand it myself. But I knew I wanted to do this! So I said yes. Even knowing I’m not suited for it, I still said I’d do it! I didn’t come here with half assed resolve. So don’t look down on me! … I’m still a beginner, so I’m not anywhere close to the rest of you, and there’s a ton of stuff I can’t do, but I won’t be the only one you go easy on! I don’t hate working hard, and challenging myself. That’s just fine with me. Honestly… it’s really fun. I don’t wanna lose to Tsubasa, or Shiki, or to you, either, Rikka!

Rikka: Don’t wanna lose…

Shiki: Dai. That’s enough for now.

Dai: !! Sorry. But sometimes when I look at him, I get so freaking pissed off. So please let me say this while I have the chance. You’re so much more capable than I am, and yet you act like you don’t have any self-confidence, when you’re the one I wanna surpass, Rikka!

Rikka: Surpass… …AH!

Dai: !!! What!?

Rikka: That’s it! I just remembered!

Shiki: Remembered what?

Rikka: Shiki, there’s something I want to try for Dai’s shoot tomorrow. Could I talk to you about it?

Shiki: Well, if it’s something I can help with.

Rikka: Will you trust me with this, Dai?

Dai: …. Huh? Uh, I don’t really get it, but… of course.

  Track 5: 「Grin」

 Photographer: Ok, all done! We’re ready for you.

Shiki: Sorry for the sudden request.

Photographer: If the first attempt doesn’t work out, it makes sense to change your approach.

Rikka: Thank you so much.

Photographer: This was your idea, Rikka?

Rikk: Yes. I remembered when I did a shoot like this in the past.

Photographer: I see.

Tsubasa: Ooh, this is an interesting set-up.

Dai: ? How do we shoot like this?

Rikka: Dai, c’mere! You sit right here.

Dai: *sits*

Rikka: And then I’ll sit here across from you.

Dai: And?

Rikka: Let’s chat for a little while.

Dai: Chat? What about the shoot?

Rikka: Don’t you worry about that.

Dai: Don’t worry..? But that’s not gonna work. We have to finish today!

Rikka: And we will! When you make a good face, Dai, I’ll snap a picture myself.

Dai: … Huh?

Rikka: Hehe! This thing I’m holding is called a “release.” It’s like a remote switch for the camera. See how this cable connects to that camera over there?

Dai: Ah… It really does!

*camera click*

Rikka: You have a really cool profile, Dai. Your figure is really nice and masculine.

Dai: !! What’s with the shameless sneak photography!?

Rikka: Sneak photography? I guess you’re right! But isn’t it fun? Dai, you’re much more expressive when you’re talking casually, rather than freezing up in front of the camera. When I thought about how to capture those expressions, I came up with this. This way, you don’t feel like you’re being photographed, right?

Tsubasa: Hey hey, Dai-chan, look over here! S-mi-le!

Dai: You go away!

*camera click*

Dai: !! Oi, Rikka!!

Rikka: Haha! But that was such a cute face. You and Tsubasa really are close.

Dai: No we’re not.

Tsubasa: D-Dai-chan! Aren’t you being meaner than usual?

Rikka: You never make that kind of face for me, though. Maybe I’m a little jealous?

Dai: Huh!? D-don’t be stupid!!

*camera click*

Rikka: I think we’ll get lots of great shots today. Now, since we have the chance, I’d like to hear all about you, Dai. Is that okay?

Dai: … Do what you want.

*camera click*

Rikka: Yup! I plan to. Let’s take our time.

Photographer: Well, well. This is pretty interesting.

Shiki: It really is. We’re all used to seeing these expressions, but they’re completely different from what he showed on our music videos and single covers so far. His fans will love it.

Photographer: Having Rikka do the shooting is interesting from a technical standpoint too. You can really tell how experienced he is by how well he times the camera.

Shiki: It’s only… These pictures will look really out of place next to all the shots we took yesterday.

Photographer: That is a problem… Dai-kun might feel more comfortable after this, so we can try shooting his again, but…

Tsubasa: Can’t we just re-shoot all of them?

Shiki: Hmph. Don’t ask that so easily.

Tsubasa: What’s this now? You can’t do it, Leader?

Shiki: … Is there any chance you’d consider it?

Photographer: Hmmm… Okay. Let’s give it a try! To make it work, in case we can’t finish today, we’ll use both yesterday’s and today’s pictures on the insert. It’ll be hard work for all of you boys, though.

Tsubasa: No prob, no prob! Just leave it to us!

Shiki: Thank you so much! Let’s do that.

Photographer: Okay, it’s settled! Let’s get to it then. Oi! Can you set up the same system over here too? Chop chop!

*camera click*

Rikka: You used to swim competitively, right Dai?

Dai: Well, yeah.

Rikka: How long ago did you start?

Dai: I went to a swimming school when I was little. I can’t remember what started it. Maybe my parents wanted me to.

Rikka: And did you like swimming?

Dai: I mean, if I hated it I wouldn’t’ve keep going, right? I was good at it, so… !!

Rikka: What’s wrong?

Dai: Nah… Maybe I just did it because it felt good to do something I was good at, and not because I actually liked it.

Rikka: Hm. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Dai: Really?

Rikka: They say to truly enjoy a sport, you need to be better at it than anyone else. You achieve the best possible feeling once you can keep moving without conscious thought, and control your body as well as you want to.

Dai: I think I kinda get that.

*camera click*

Rikka: What did you think about while you were swimming?

Dai: Nothing really… It felt good when there was nobody in front of me. That’s all. Because the water was peaceful. It felt like my own personal space, all alone with the water sparkling from the sunlight around me. In that space, there was nothing to think about but moving on, further, and further, carving my path through the water. Further, and further. It was an amazing feeling.

*camera click*

Rikka: See? You really did love swimming.

*camera click*

Rikka: That was your best expression yet!

Dai: I forgot about the camera.

Rikka: I’m glad to hear it. Just as planned, right?

Dai: Agh, screw it. *gets up*

Rikka: Huh? What’s the matter?

Dai: Outta the way. It’s my turn.

Rikka: Eh!?

Dai: Let me take some pictures of you! It’s not fair if it’s just me. This time I’ll take ‘em, so make that face from just now again.

Rikka: You’re being unreasonable. Just now, what kind of face was I making?

Dai: A super evil looking smile.

Rikka: Evil looking? Pfff, really? I can make a face like that?

Dai: Don’t act so innocent. You always look like that when you’re feeling good!

Rikka: Eh, do I really? I had no idea. Nobody’s told me that before.

Dai: Oh yeah? Well now’s my chance to show it to the rest of the world. C’mon, move. Swap out. And then… let me hear all about you, too.

Rikka: Gladly. I’m all yours.

~End~

 [A1]Zousui: rice gruel containing vegetables, fish, etc., and seasoned with miso or soy sauce.

 [A2]I can’t quite hear this, but I think he might be doing a manzai-type tsukkomi line, as one does in a comedy show.