#OH MY HEART???? d a n g this hit different XD

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Can I request “I Choose” by Alessia Cara for Jumbo or Snake? They deserve all the love.

yessss absolutely!! they do ;w;

I've done at least one songfic for Jumbo before so I did Snake this time around!

🎶 Songfic Meme 🎶

DISCLAIMER: This is a (mini) songfic to the song “I Choose” by Alessia Cara! I don’t own the song, don’t claim to, and am not profiting off this piece at all.

All of my life, I thought I was right looking for something new stuck in my ways, like old-fashioned days but all the roads led me to you the house that you live in don’t make it a home but feeling lonely don’t mean you’re alone people in life, they will come and they’ll leave but if I had a choice I know where I would be

Aside from the few memories SNAKE has of his parents, he’s gone through life looking forward.

He’s trudged along, trying to keep his head down, and searching desperately for something that will make him feel whole. In his mind, what good would it do to dwell on his memories from his life before? It’s behind him. He’ll never find his parents again, he’ll never see them, and… it’s his past.

So he has to keep going, not looking back. Sometimes even now, with the good life he has and the family he’s surrounded by, the ones who want him… sometimes he still keeps looking, even though he’s sure he’s happy now.

It hurts, to still have this deep aching in his chest despite knowing that he isn’t alone anymore. He has his family in the circus… and he has you. Someone who wants to be with him, sleep beside him, kiss him. He never thought he would have something like that.

Despite that thing that feels like a hole inside of him, he can’t imagine wanting to ever leave any of you. Not for something else, not for any reason. He’s weaved in and out of the crowds, among so many people; you all are the only ones who’ve stayed with him.

So he wants to stay with you, too.

through the lows and the highs, I will stay by your side there’s no need for goodbyes, now I’m seeing the light when the sky turns to grey and there’s nothing to say at the end of the day, I choose you

It happens often when he looks at you, wandering among the tents after a show. You’re a bright spot in his entire life. Your smile could cut through even the darkest night and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve something like that.

There are so many times that Snake is afraid that you’ll be ripped away from him, the same way his mother was ripped away from him. It’s happened before, and that memory makes him acutely aware that it could happen again. It could happen to anyone he’s come to love. It’s not fair, but it’s a hard truth that he has to acknowledge.

When he looks at you, he’s reminded of just how fiercely he’s ready to fight so that he doesn’t have to lose you. You, or any of his family. Despite that he doesn’t like fighting, if he has to do it to keep you with him, he will.

It doesn’t matter if bad things happen. There are lots of bad things that could happen. So what? He can’t just sit in his tent for his entire life, terrified of losing you. He’d miss out on everything good that could happen.

Every day, every moment, he gathers his strength and he chooses to be with you.

now I found the strength to make a change and look at the magic I found no matter the name or where you came from ‘cause no one has much figured out the house that you live in don’t make it a home but feeling lonely don’t mean you're alone I finally found where I feel I belong and I know you’ll be there with wide open arms

You twine your fingers with his and laugh, “You look like you’re thinking hard about something, sweetheart! Penny for your thoughts?”

He doesn’t even think his thoughts are worth that much. His face turns pink anyway, prompting him to hide against your neck. All his memories run wild, from the wonder of what his parents named him to the abuse he’s been through to every single incredible thing he’s experienced since finding you.

The whole circus could vanish tomorrow, and as long as he still had you and his family, it wouldn’t even matter. You would all be alright if you had each other. He knows he’d be alright if he had you and his family.

Everyone accepts him here. You do. His family does. If all those material things burned to the ground, he’d still have you, no matter how scary it would be. He’s safe inside your embrace. No matter what happens.

“I’m happy,” he finally murmurs, “that I’m not alone. That I have you. … Says Webster.”

through the lows and the highs, I will stay by your side there’s no need for goodbyes, now I’m seeing the light when the sky turns to grey and there’s nothing to say at the end of the day, I choose you I choose you

He doesn’t think anyone could pay him enough to let go of you. It’s simply frustrating that he doesn’t feel like he can express the depth of his love for you, or his family. He’s stuck because of how he was treated before, unable to speak on his own.

He wonders: does that even affect the weight of his words? Just because he uses his snakes to speak, does that water down what he’s saying? Because at least he’s trying to say it. He wants you to know just how fully he loves you, how secure and important you make him feel. He wants to be able to say it himself.

It’s not something he can do yet. With your support and his family’s support, he thinks he will one day.

For now, maybe this is enough. Maybe the cling of his embrace is what expresses it better than the things he could ever say.

For what it’s worth, you seem content with that answer as you give him a squeeze. “I’m glad you’re not alone, too.” Your voice is soft, caring. He could crawl inside your voice and sleep there forever. “You deserve lots of love, my darling. I’ll never let you be alone ever again. Alright?”

… Ah. It is very alright.

through the lows and the highs, I will stay by your side there’s no need for goodbyes, now I’m seeing the light through the lows and the highs I will stay by your side there’s no need for goodbyes, now I’m seeing the light when the sky turns to grey and there’s nothing to say at the end of the day, I choose you

Who cares how bad things get? Snake has a family. He has your hand to hold his, even and especially when he feels unsteady.

Who cares about all the people passing by, staring at the scene as you hold him and kiss his cheek? They don’t know a damn thing about him, or about you.

Who cares if life is shaky from one moment to the next? All of you have something constant, when the rest of the world isn’t, something to hold onto.

He doesn’t want to ever let you go. He doesn’t want to lose you.

So he holds to you as tight as he’s ever held to anything.

He thinks he’s going to wake up and choose to be with you, every day for the rest of his life, regardless of what that life will look like.

He loves his family. He loves you.

There isn’t any great or terrible thing in the world that can touch that.

oh, I choose you I choose you.