#OH MY GOD I WASNT EVEN ABOUT TO DO THAT FUCK
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â blurb of chris giving an attitude adjustment â
chrisâ hips rutted harshly into yours that was for sure to leave a mark if kept up, and it dared to knock your knees down that were the only support your ass had to keep it up. Chrisâ right hand was planted right above ur ass as he had you right where he wanted, doggy.
âso much for that attitude you were having huh? Now ya getting dumb fucked stupid kid.â
you were letting out incoherent babbles and whimpers as your hands gripped to his sheets for more support. You were already upcoming your 3rd orgasm of the night, and chris wasnt planning on stopping until that attitude was wiped from you.
âC-chrisâ pl.. fuck.. please..â
You didnât even know what you were begging for, for him to keep jamming his tip into that gummy spot that made your body twitch, or for him to stop. Fuck, you knew you didnât want it to stop. Your legs that were holding your hips up were becoming unstable from the relentless abuse on your cervix, creating a domino effect now affecting your legs.
Your knees had been dug into the bed god forbid it would leave a mark. Your throbbing knees started to slide down making chrisâ cock slip from your swollen pussy. He instantly groaned and put your knees back up.
âNope, donât do that. We still gotta fix that âtude.â
He wasnât careless, so instead he put his hands on either sides of your hips holding them up for him. Once he had you steady again he pushed between your folds again. You moaned as he perfectly filled your empty hole once more. He had paused thrusting for a second; which made you groan impatiently. You pushed your hips back for some sort of friction.
âPlease.. just please donât stop..! Iâmââ
Your words instantly got cut off by chris switching angles, and as soon as his length dipped into your tight pussy he hit that soft spot of nerves. Once his tip kissed it, your back arched again; which made you let out the loudest noise youâve made all night. You looked behind you to see chris smirking with amusement.
âThatâs the spot pretty bird, thatâs the damn spot.â
His hips slammed hard into those nerves over and over again, each time it filled you with this euphoric feeling. You felt that same knot start to build in your lower abdomen, the same one you felt earlier from your previous orgasms. You started to pant and your vision was replaced with blurry imaginary stars, before chrisâ repeated thrusts cleared all thoughts from your brain.
âOhâ oh fu-fuck.. chris- chris im so close!â
You started to meet his hips in the middle you both were heavily breathing and sexual noises filled the room. The skin to skin, the wet noises, and just chris and his noises started to all infiltrate your mind; slowly getting you closer and closer. Randomized noises and squeals were getting fucked out of you continuously. Chrisâ grunts and groans started to get louder as his pace started to quicken, if that was even possible.
âYeah- yeah me too, fuck..â
Before you both knew it, you both came. Chris was pushed balls deep with his tip smashed against ur cervix. He immediately filled you as he felt you clench and release around him. He tried to nudge even further inside of you to pulse his cum as deep as it could go; even though it was physically impossible for him to go any deeper. A ring of white started to form at his base in a snap.
âThatâs my fucking girl, shit.â
small ropes of cum were still shooting inside of you. Your sweaty face was laid against the bed, lids heavy, and lower half absolutely fucked out. Reality slightly snapped back into you as chris pulled out. You looked back and right as his cum was about to spill from you, he plugged ur hole with his thumb.
âchris..â
You whined, unable to release his cum. He chuckled and gripped ur ass with the other free hand he had. God. Just looking back at him in that black tank with his messy hair and stupid fucking smile, sandwiched by his stubble and goaty was enough to rile you up all over again.
âWhat? I want âchu to be filled with cum, not no fuckinâ attitude.â
AN: sorry for the blurb & not a full blown fic; honestly Iâm losing love for writing those long ass fan fictions and I might spend more time making good blurbs for you angels to get off to. & yeah, itâs a shitty blurb; let a girl fucking slowly get started up on writing again!!
go to my profile & give me suggestions sweets đȘ
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo smut#sturniolos#sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x reader#chris imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#smut
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siren
#bakuspecial#cw: nudity#cw: body horror#monster#siren! I think. they're bird to me#I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description#and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings#lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At#(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao)#but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman#but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry#I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human#even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm#...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin#and got startled#its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip#I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man#its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways#now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku#have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat
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the final tf2 comic lowkey got me emotional it was everything dude i love it so much
#tf2#tf2 comic#i dont have words rn to describe it even though i read it hours ago#im still thinking about it#could of had medic and heavy doing it sloppy but thats for after screen credits /j#THE FUCKING TRIBUTE TO RICK MAY AT THE BEGINNING#THE BEGINNING IN GENERAL OH MY GOD#FUCKING fdesfred ???? it just hits so hard#just helen there with her dead parents switching through scenes because she doesnt even remember#and miss pauling realising what shes been up too and like doesnt give her the australium#miss pauling im so sorry you had to see and go through that#i love you girl#OH AND THAT SCOUT CAME TO TERMS THAT HE WASNT GONNA BE WITH HER#AND HIM ENDING UP HAVING MULTIPLE KIDS AND HAVING DEADBEAT WIVES#LIKE HIS MA HAD WITH HER HUSBANDS OH MY GOD#and spy fucking taking off his mask but still not saying he's their grandpa but just jeremy's co worker#like theres so much dude idfk like damn#merry christmas
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#tko_art#hahah wrong eye shape#hers is more droopy and less awakey#wow colors suck#really hard#but i've noticed it doesn't feel like my brain is going to explode everytime I try to determine color and values#i kind of got too tired and wanted to giv eup so no tear drop#which made me sad because i did want to try that#but back hurts#gotta go to bed to fight god tomorrow/today#i love rendering skin tones#they're so much fun#lovely love#I have accidentally locked in#suddenly every single moment of time that i'm not spending to do art is unappealing and so damaging#i'm psyching myself out of doing things I know will give me instant gratification and will make me pretty happy for whattttttttt#it's kinda depressing#If i think about it too hard it's just a constant cycle of oh god this is it for the rest of my life#so no thinking it is!#blegh this seems so silly and trivial#i hope nobody reads this shit#i'd have to kill myself or something#im never gonna stop thinking about how i didnt say i loved you back#and it haunts me#and i cant stop thinking about what u said to me#and even tho u didnt say it harshly i cant stop my mind from running away from me#and theres something horribly wrong with me that i need to gouge out#i hope u never read this#i didnt want to be (x) how fucked up is that#i wish i wasnt like this i wish i didnt have to learn how to live with trauma i wish i was normal
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visibly clenching my jaw and shaking with rage. why are all the newer barbie movies trash.
#been clenching my fists getting through them with my brother#big city big dreams and princess adventure are the ones we watched and EW#the most horrendous crime is definetely the outfits. they are genuinley a nightmare to look at.#but also the plots ?? ass. the music ?? forgettable#there is no magic anymore do you understand#and it all takes place in the same shit ass world now to promote the barbie viog channel or something#AND they dropped rainmaker entertainment im pretty sure#since they havent been in any of the credits#i think they stopped being good after dolphin magic. if i have the timeline right.#about to watch mermaid power and from what i saw in the trailer the outfits are HIDEOUS#like how did you go from pearl princess and mermaid tale to this. yikes.#barbie the full blue hair is NOT a look and it does NOT match your outfit#god.. i could rant for ages about this you dont understand#its so incredibly awful. what happened to the barbie magic <- capitalism. capitalism happened.#god.. dont even get me started on the sister focused movies ??#chelseas lost birthday and skippers babysitting adventure ??#like oh my god.#tell me why fucking barbie butterfly diaries is better than the newer movies#at least it had heart !! at least it wasnt a cash grab and nothing more !! at least the music kind of slapped#at least it was endearing..#and we actually had good barbie movies fairly recently ??#one of my favorites ever starlight adventure came out in like 2016#the animation was insane and the outfits were incredible#and now we are.. here
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Thinking about current continuity Vanessa and just getting pissed off again
Like one, LET HER REST oh my god dc you ruin her FUCKING life like an asshole only to bring her back as a villain after she finally got out oh my god-
But also like its just so bad. This is a whole other woman with her name like why are we doing this. Like first you kill her mom (JULIA NOOO) and erase her YEARS of history growing up around diana (the thing that actually made her villain turn [if you can call it that w the level of manipulation involved] interesting and fucking heartbreaking) for some shitty "oh I saved you we were friends" run of the mill whatever. Then to use that and say Nessie had a crush on her OWN SISTER (Diana, so like informally adopted, but still đĄ) now????
And then they took away her curls and made her a redhead but not even the realistic kind. DC SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT
It just makes me so mad. Freaking guys. They could have used another name like oh my god. She's not even the first silver swan why the fuck would they do that if they're not going to explore her history w diana (which she no longer has!!!!) or how intensely fucked up everything got for her. What is even the fucking point of this then other to drag a main character of the ww supporting cast through the mud again for genuinely no reason. They could have easily had her be Valerie Beaudry (sorry Val) instead or just MADE UP ANOTHER NAME because it's obvious that no one actually cared about her as a character they just wanted the wondy villain back so like !!!!!!!!!! Why even bother
#her entire treatment just makes me so angry#like in general it makes me mad and sad and a million other emotions#but the fucking robinson version just makes me enraged. beyond pissed off. because theres no fucking reason for it its bullshit and its the#one in current continuity right now. so i get to see tom king ww panels put on my dash that have this stupid fake vanessa and its so#infuriating. like thats NOT her!!!!!!! oh my freaking god people#her hair is BROWN and CURLY and shes dianas BABY SISTER who she lived with for YEARS like she was a MAJOR supporting ww character for the#longest time. like shes got about 100 appearances (just checked) preboot this is not a minor character#so freaking frustrating#blah#ALSO. FUCKING ALSO. THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE CURRENT VANESSA TURNED EVIL BC SHE REALIZED SHE WASNT SPECIAL TO DIANA BS. FUCK YOU THERE LIKE#OH MY GODDDDD âisnt special to dianaâ im going to fucking kill you. what do you mean she doesnt care about her specially. thats her FUCKING#BABY SISTER. not to sound like vanessa herself a la silver swan but those clowns at dc would never say that shit about cassie oh my god#not special my FUCKING ass. nessie and her mom were literally the first people invited to themyscira in post coie continuity#like yes diana trevor and steve trevor and even baby julia kapetelis washing ashore but like the kapetelises (and you could even say just#nessie bc again her mom had been there before) were the FIRST ones invited there like you cannot say diana didnt care about them more than#the average joe dc i fucking despise you.#this girl has been through so much why is dc incapable of throwing her a bone ever. nessie i am so sorry they did that to you sweetie.#gonna tag it bc her tag deserves the traffic#vanessa kapatelis#just makes me so mad#doing all that to the normal teen girl character in a wonder woman comic is so fucked actually like dc comics i should not have to explain#that to you. what message do you think you are sending here be serious
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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOLâŠ.. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS
WHITE.
AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED âŠ. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING âŠ.. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see itâŠâŠ.,,,,,,
ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS đ«¶đđ within reason
#like ok maybe it isnât. THAT bad#NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE#IT. IT IS. THAT BAD#IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE#ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and#there isnât anything wrong with it!!! itâs just that for me personally#after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite#so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just#it doesnât click. like that isnât MY Montag if ykwim#now trembling BROWN skittish twink. thatâs a different story#AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny#a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking#where is bros melanin đ#Iâm complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just⊠go in and try and make the skin tone darker#I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling#also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book#then I can move on to the movies đ„°#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it#I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE#my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts#I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie⊠oh god my Millie designâŠ#she was white there too. terrible#itâs okay⊠đ Iâve since learned and moved on#ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE
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personal tag rant.
#god i.... i really do not like my mother#Just like... As a person.#I hate her#The more time i spend with her the less happy I am#Today? We were decorating our christmas tree. Me and my brother. Mother watched.#Then there was a loud thud as dad dropped something somewhere in the house#And my brother jokingly said ''did he fall down the stairs???'' to which my mother replied quietly but audibly ''god finally''#And i wanted to punch her so fucking bad sooo fucking bad oh my GOD i wanted to do it so bad#She said that in front of my brother?? Who is 13??? Are you insane?#She didn't even say it in like a joking way. in a fully serious ''god i wish...'' way.#Plus 5 minutes earlier her and dad had an argument about the christmas lights#(she kept nagging him to change it. talked about it being all wrong after he changed it like 5 times. -#- So he told her to do it herself and left the room)#which like whatever. he's in the right anyway. i don't blame him for leaving the room i would've left the room too if my brother wasnt ther#but seriously what the FUCK does she think she will accomplish with this#i don't even care about me. Im fine. they'd almost gotten one divorce already i've dealt with it. but in front of my brother?#my little brother?#fuck you.#Very sincirely fuck you.
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me when I accidentally read a book within 3 days.
#it feels like i have been reading for at LEAST a fucking week#but i just checked and what the FUFKAVSKSGWVAVWHSHWNDKQGHSKWWGEKQSG#i just couldnt put it down#and i literally am just sittinf here and my brain cannot process ABYTHIGN#like i cant even do something esle to distract myself because all. i. can. think. about. is. this. goddamned. book.#AND THE WORSE THING IS THAT I HAVE TO REREAD IT#because its from netgalley so i Have to give it a review but i was so engrossed that i wasnt taking notes after like chapfer 5#and yeah sure i could just give a review rn but it would just be a scream.#like this is TORTURE#it was so good but. also. my brain#oh my god#OH MY GODD!:!;!!&&#le text post
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i think i have to kill someone.
#WHAT.WHAT . WHAT. WHAT .#why would you bring something up from so long ago and then blame the (then) five year old . what . WHAT . HUH. weird. weiirrdddd.#so you knew? you knew? and instead of being like wow that's Not Normal you demonise the toddler that's probably...... idk.#kids don't Do That what a weird fucking thing to bring up out of NOWHERE just to immediately brush off#i think i have to kill you. i think i have to actually kill you now.#speechless. flabbergasted. i cant even talk about it its so WEIRD. CRAZY. CRAZY THING TO BRING UP#oh my god. if a child was being Like That i would assume the worst and insist someone look into thing and make sure the kid is SAFE????????#jesus. damn. what thebhhell. HUH. if its about what i think its about. it wasnt their fault? at all?#stuff Like This is complicated but jesus. JEEESSSUUUUUSSSS. dont even bring it up this late#if you KNEW. oh my god. IF YOU KNEW??????????#rant#oh my god. extremely vague do NOT ask About It i cant even. jesus. why would you keep something like that to yourself#or use it as 'gossip' or . whatever the FUCK she was doing???#idc if you have your own shit to work through. GROWN ASS WOMAN. you should've approached it with kindness and understanding? and figure out#if help was needed? its not my life its not my anything but that kid is my friend who i had to take care of instead of you FUCKING ASSHOLE#if i KNEW i wouldve at least tried to help. to understand. i hope you die a slow painful death in an empty room cause you cut everyone off#and then turned around to be WORSE . i'd tell you to killyourself but any possible method would avoid you like the damn plague#WOW. that was a lot my bad. pissed the hell off#you say shit about the kid that I!!! had to basically raise cause you were too busy being a judgmental piece of shit. ugh. grrr.#''wow thats so weird where did they even get the idea for that behaviour'' man idk but wasn't it supposed to be your job???? TO FIGURE IT OU#fuming whatever. whatever. none of this is news to me she's always been insufferable#rant .#vent#WHATEVER.#it was so long ago it just.#no reason to bring it up#but if you knew than you should've tried to do something#but you didn't. cause you're cruel and egotistical#and everyone you know hates you. and if they don't you take advantage of them.#what a woman. thanks for teaching me to go through the world with so much hate
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OKAY SO GUYS I JUST WATCHED TDV LIVE
IM SO HYPED IM STILL BOUNCING ON THE WALLS OH GOD OH GOD
IT WAS SO SO SO SO GOOD OH GOD LIKE I CANT ACTUALLY PUT IT IN WORDS I JUST WANT TO SCREAM
THE ACTORS? AMAZING, DANCE? AMAZING, SET? AMAZING, VIBES? AMAZING
I literally screamed until my throat got sore at every actor it felt like therapy
Last time we had to leave just at the start of bows and i was so sad this healed me
EMBEREK ITS SO GOOD I CANT EVEN FULLY TALK IN ENGLISH
I got pictures at the theatre and I GOT A TSHIRT
A FUCKING TSHIRT
ILL COME BACK WHEN I CALMED DOWN, MOSTLY BECAUSE I LOST MY DRAFT WHERE I TALKED ABOUT THE SHOW AND I NEED A REST TO DO IT AGAIN
#ill come back with pictures#god the bows#so good#we screamed so much#and clapped for like 20 minutes straight#worth every penny#even if for some reason the actor i went for wasnt there (jegercsik csaba i hope you are doing good#but what the fuck when did the casting change#like yeah the official site says IllĂ©s DĂĄniel but Istg it said Jegercsik Csaba when i bought the tickets#and there is no explanation i could find#oh well#i still loved professor he was cute#alfred#alfref my god#there was a really cute scene in the crypt where he was like on the verge of tears its so cute#Also the vampire ensemble changed my life#more about this tomorrow i swear but its 11am her#e#tanz der vampire#herbert von krolock#tdv#count von krolock#vĂĄmpĂrok bĂĄlja#tanz der vampire alfred#graf von krolock#professor abronsius#its so good
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i cant fucking stand her oh my GOD
#ramblings#i cleaned up the entire fucking kitchen while shes eating her dinner that we were suppoed to do together#and she promises. she PROMISES that she will clean up the TINY FUCKING PILE of things that i left for her to do#literally like 5 things#she cleans up one of them#and then makes more of a mess.#that i have to clean up.#and then when i ask her why she didnt i wasnt even rude#she acts like its my fault. and im the bad person#and shes so fucking condescnedngin oh my god she acts exactly like every bully ive ever fucking had#and then lies to our dad that she totally definitely cleaned it up đ„°as i am in the middle of cleaning it up#will i get an apology? hell the fuck no!! but she ill probably knock on my door in 5 minues to tell me about her FUCKING ice skating#I DONT GIVE A FUCK OH MY GOD#this seems so petty but its stuff like this every day#you guys dont udnerstand the way she talks to me#the way she acts#she wont touch anything ive touched she looks at me like im disgusting#im not disgusting am i disgusting i swear im not#ive asked my parents ive asked my friends they say im not gross and dusgusting and unheygenic what am i donig wrong why does she think this#whywhwywhwywhwywhwy#why does she hate me so much#i hate myself so much#every time i interact with her it makes me hate myself
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so iâm gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and weâre renting from them#so theyâre getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but heâs had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and sheâs good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and iâm trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAPâŠ. it should be quick and easyâŠ#i know youâre working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarizedâŠ..#please donât be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this NowâŠâŠ iâm sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right awayâŠ.#anyway i donât want you to be mad at me or think iâm just nagging so hereâs a topic change! oh you didnât respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i canât tell if youâre mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and thatâs making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already youâve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because itâs gonna be fun!!#but itâs worrying me too bc like⊠if this is how theyâre acting before weâre even living together#and theyâre missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#itâs just frustrating bc it feels like theyâre taking advantage of the fact that itâs my parents and not some other landlord#so they donât think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents theyâd literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you donât get everything submitted within The Day then youâre no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i canât really know what this friendâs thought process is#but it feels like theyâre just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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burgertron HATE ged prep . burgertron PILEDRIVE WHOEVER MADE IT SO THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE 4 SEPARATE TESTS TO GET A PIECE OF PAPER THAT SAYS YOU DID IT into THE FUCKING DIRT!!!!!!!
#the captain's rambles#if you couldnt tell im having a bit of a rough time <:']#my mom is like âoh well youre Making it stressful it's gonna be okayâ I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SHIT WITH VARIABLES#THIS SHIT WOULD BE STRESSFUL EVEN IF I *WASNT* ALREADY DREADING DOING IT#i HATE education i HATE SCHOOL i hate everything this STUPID SYSTEM STANDS FOR and most importantly I LOATHE VARIABLS#whoever put LETTERS ?? in MATH??? Die.#because now i have to fucking figure out what x and y are on a practice test#i dont even HATE math normally. in every other instance of math im actually okay w/ solving questions#ged math ??? is on some shit#FUCK geds man i hate it here . i wanna just fuck off and go do whatever and be productive with something i Actually Enjoy Doing#not having to sit here and do tests so i can get a piece of paper that does nothing but allow me to apply for a community college#<- a place i am EQUALLY unexcited for and dreading#miserable fucking books i have to do work in. and then i gotta do like 4 different equally fucking miserable tests for each subject#and then i have to pray to god i didnt fail and i got the minimum passing grade of AT LEAST 145 out of *200.*#im going to destroy Everything.#i dont want congratulations for doing this shit either because i didnt wanna do it IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!!!!#im only doing this because i HAVE TO to get my parents off my ass about it not because i WANNA#if it were up to me i'd be doing just art and collecting or other hobbies i ACTUALLY ENJOY and i wouldnt be worrying about academics#but we cant have nice things so now i have to stress abt this shit like a college student studying for midterms#rant over. im gonna go eat now . pray 4 me that i dont kill someone /lh
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okay so maybe it was just me being ahead of the curve or whatever but like. did anyone else have their ultimate misery / severe depression era during middle school instead of high school?
#mine#mental illness#it is FOUR AM i should NOT BE thinking about this but oh my god#i read something and i just realized that it wasnt just depression i had a full-fucking-blown psychological BREAK when i was 11#and i need to be up in four hours but now im too pissed to sleep like oh my god i had a FULL PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAK and#STILL none of the adults in my life even noticed i was SAD?? FUCKING HELLO??????#anyway rant in the tags but also im genuinely asking did this hit anyone else in middle school/ages 11-13 instead of high school#bc all the stuff i see is about how miserable and mentally ill kids in high school are and im absolutely not discounting that#but like. high school was SO MUCH BETTER for me it was fucking PARADISE compared to how deeply fucking hurting i was#throughout all of middle school. like i would relive all my high school years ten times over before i even ONCE had to feel how i felt#from the ages of 11 - 13. high school was FUN for me and i was still very mentally ill going into 9th grade!!#like. okay you know the adhd principle of executive dysfunction where the idea is that DOING the task is easier than STARTING the task#and the analogy that goes like. imagine you had to struggle for hours climbing up the gravel mountain to get to the construction site#so when you finally get there youre like oh thank fuck time to lay some bricks i could do this all DAY#and the guy who drove up the mountain to the work site is all angry and is like man stop bragging about how EASY laying bricks is for you#man its hard work!!!!! and youre like. not as hard as climbing up the damn gravel mountain dude#and whenever i hear people talking about how high school is the worst. i think of that.#yeah man high school is hard. not as hard as suffering through the crushing misery of being 11 though.
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint âoh jeanne d'arc came back to life evilâ rather than âthere seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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