#OH MY GOD HOLD ON JOKE FORMAT JOKE IS COMING

[desire-mona]

me when danny in the gloaming: omg hes so me

me when janet in the gloaming: omg shes so me

me when martin in the gloaming: omg hes so me.

me when annie in the gloaming: omg shes so me

me when myrna in the gloaming: omg shes so me

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[chuuyasfanboy]

Happy new year! This popped into my head on my way home from a party, so I figured I better write it LOL

Can you tell I'm still figuring out my blog formatting-

"I'll fuck you into next year."

Dazai x GN!Reader

Sex with Dazai comes in two forms. And more often than not, it's wholly unserious. Sure, on certain events (Birthdays, Valentine's day, Anniversaries, etc.) he goes out of his way to be romantic. But casual banging, on New Year's Eve no less? You can't possibly expect him not to crack some jokes.

Not that it doesn't feel good. No, no. Your legs are pushed against your chest in a mating press, and he's reaching so deep inside you that you think you might explode. Grunts and moans fill the room alongside a melody of skin against skin. But in-between groans and kisses planted so gently on your neck, Dazai's doing nothing but laughing. You aren't fairing much better.

"God, I'm gonna fuck you all the way into the next year, you hear me?"

11:49; he wasn't too far off from that goal. And while your stamina was nothing compared to his, he was sure you could make it just ten more minutes. Right? You were practically made for him, after all.

11:58; he pulled away for only a second, just enough time to adjust the display of your bedside clock, the seconds now counting down below the hours and minutes. As he pressed back inside you, his gaze remained firmly in place on the clock, freeing a hand from holding your thighs to instead cares your cheek, grinning.

And when the clock begun to ding, he let out the most animated moan he could manage, suddenly shifting to act like a man starved.

"Oh, baby, I feel like I haven't had you all to myself since last year~!"

This is what you get for choosing to date Dazai. But is he worth it? Absolutely, yes.

[hockybish]

Turning

l Brock Faber l Brock Faber x Dancer l masterlist l

"Five, six, seven, eight." Maggie Walker counted out loud to herself as she spun around.

"Knock, Knock" A voice called into the studio she was renting. Brock popped his head in. "Hey Mags" he smiled.

Maggie ignored that man standing in doorway, continuing to work on the big turn sequence, it needed to be perfect. She needed to be perfect. She wasn't going to be the one that messed up by falling out of a turn or hesitating on the aerial. The dance team had a legacy to uphold.

"Hello? Maggie? I brought dinner, you want some?" Brock interrupted her concentration by holding up a bag full of their favorite foods from Chipotle.

"What you and Sammy not want to cook again?" She chirped noticing what he had brought along to share with her.

"Something like that or maybe we don't have any clean dishes." He joked along with her. He started to unpack the bag. Setting up a makeshift picnic on the side of the room. He looked up at her when he was finished expecting her to come eat.

"You go ahead start eating. Gotta keep working on this." Maggie began again.

She pliéed deep, pushing off the floor, going into the same turn she been working on. She went into that side aerial. She must have place her foot in the wrong spot because instead of flipping over she slipped and fell.

It was whatever. Maggie got back up, prepping to do the sequence one more time. The result same as before. She hesitated before the flip and help. Slamming her fist on the ground in frustration.

"Take a break Margret Walker. Eat something, you can try again afterwards" The rookie defenseman rushed over to help the dancer up.

Maggie nodded letting Brock guide her to the food that for sure had cold by now. Nonetheless she still began to eat the chicken, rice, bean, cheese and salsa burrito bowl. She used a chip to scoop up a chunk of the mixture for a bit of added crunch.

"Feel better?" Maggie nodded with a toothy smile. She made sure not to eat too much of the filling meal, she had to get back to work and she had a late night class to teach.

The elite dancer got into place. She taking a deep breath, she pliéed and began to spin but it was short lived. She started felling the nerves again. Getting into her head, Maggie lost count and fell out.

"Do you think you could count for me?" Brock agreed and Maggie instructed him on the tempo.

Maggie got back into her starting position as Brock started to count. "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight" Split jump down to a roll, formation change, roll again, pirouette á la seconde times 10, aerial into three more pirouette á la secondes, and finishing off with two regular pirouettes.

"I got it!" "You did it!" The two friends cheered jumping towards each other in excitement. They ended closer than they thought with their noses practically touching and his hands on her waist.

Brock's eyes were focused on her lips. He felt as though he should kiss her. It's not like her hasn't ever thought about it before. It was more that, her brother's one of his good friends and teammates. And you don't date your teammates sisters. But she was so pretty and funny, kind and -

"Oh my god, is that the time? I'm gonna be late for class." Maggie slipped away, hurriedly collecting her things. Her feet were out the door before she turn back to him. Standing on her tip toes she kissed him.

Pulling back she grinned at him "We'll finish this later"

[slashersteve]

THIS KISS

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader

warning/extra tags: cursing, angst tm, understandable trust issues, my oc timothy taylor from just friends makes a comeback aslasjlaja, cheating but not actual cheating, break-up, beta read by the bestie, edited by me

note: first fic of the new year! happy 2023 everyone! i was inspired by a scene in that 70s show during my 1000th rewatch. Anyways, peep the short (well shorter than usual) imagine format I’m trying :) Thank you for reading and enjoy ♥️

✦ ✦ ✦

It was one kiss. One measly kiss that you didn't even really return when it happened. And yet, Steve kept bringing it up whenever he could. You understood why he reacted this way, considering his past relationship's ending was somewhat similar. He was very clearly masking his hurt with a failed attempt at humor of the situation, but it didn’t make his words hurt any less.

Because of this, you let his comments slide. You didn't say anything when he would say 'oh where you'd learn that? Timmy T?' after you tried something new with your tongue when you kissed. Or the time he had joked lamely and said ‘you’re not going to kiss him again, right?’ when he found out you were on a late shift with Tim at your job (because of course the guy was still your co-worker).

In your defense, you and Steve were not together when it happened, as in when Timothy Taylor kissed you. In fact, the words break and up were apart of Steve’s vocabulary of your conversation before it happened, words straight out of his own mouth. You would have never let Tim kiss you when he asked had you and Steve still been together. So, the short kiss came from a broken heart more than anything else. And also, it had been quite sometime since that kiss, since your first break-up as well, and you didn’t know how much more comments you could handle.

It felt a little silly when you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him when he said those stupid things, you'd roll your eyes to show your irritation, but you never actually said anything to him. Eventually though, it could no longer be avoided.

Steve and you were in your bedroom, his body halfway on top of yours, one leg slotted between your thighs. You hardly got time like this together anymore, with both of you working long hours. You were on cloud nine, having missed Steve and his kisses. You could stay underneath him forever if you could, just him holding you or you holding him. It was your personal heaven, one might say…until he pulled away from your lips with a torn expression on his features.

“God- I’m sorry…but it’s like every time I kiss you all I think about is how your tongue was down Taylor’s throat,” he had said, crawling off of you and settling on the edge of his bed with a sigh.

You were still disoriented, barely registering what he had just said and you were leaning upwards on your elbows, eyebrows furrowing as you asked him to repeat himself.

He sighed again, bringing his hand upward to push his brown strands of hair out of his face before he turned his head to rest his eyes on you, “Your stupid kiss with Taylor- I don’t know if you noticed but I just can’t get over it.���

You gave him a look because you doubted he hadn't noticed that you've noticed- as he hadn’t exactly been hiding it, but ignoring that you sat up, fixing your skirt as you did so and replied, “I already told you I was sorry, Steve, and it didn't mean anything.”

You were frowning at him, and he started to frown deeper too, making your heart clench in your chest that this was bothering him so much and understanding why, but still feeling like he was taking it too far.

“Yeah, I remember…it’s just- I can’t get past it okay? I think about it all the time, and you working with him still- I mean the nerve of him-“ Steve started to ramble, and you pressed your lips together, moving to actually sit next to him.

“He’s nobody to me,” you tried to tell him.

You felt the sarcastic remark coming before he even said it.

“Oh he was totally nobody to you when you and him frenched in front of theater 3,” he said, then laughed bitterly. Your jaw tightened at this, and you were moving to stand. He lifted his head to look at you.

“Would you stop saying stupid shit like that?” You demanded, “I told you I was sorry- but I honestly don’t see why I have to be. You broke up with me…we weren’t together for two weeks or did you just forget that part?”

His eyes widened slightly, and he started to say, “Hey! I didn’t want to break up with you, though! I told you…”

You huffed, “But you still did- you know what Steve, I’m sick of you shaming me, news flash I already feel guilty enough even though I shouldn’t have to!”

He dropped his head at your words as if in defeat, an exasperated breath releasing from his lips. You crossed your arms, feeling your eyes well up at the next thing you knew you had to say because you felt like you were at a breaking point.

“I think we should break up…again,”you stated, voice as steady as possible. That made him look up at you, eyebrows furrowing and brown eyes finding your serious ones. He opened his mouth to speak, to probably protest as his eyes became frantic, but you were shaking your head, "You should go, Steve."

"Wait- wait," Steve tried, head following yours as you walked toward your door, pulling it open to indicate further that you request was more like a demand. He stood up, walking toward you and said, "Can we at least talk about this more? Breaking up- I don't..."

He was in a loss of words, clearly not expecting the conversation to end this way. You tightened your jaw, moreso to fight the tears that threatened to well up in your eyes, not wanting Steve to see them. He seemed to have your same reaction, except he wasn't trying to mask it like you. His eyes were growing slightly watery as he met your pointed expression. Then, he dropped his head, causing some strands of his hair falling forward, and he sucked in a tight breath before stepping past you into your hallway.

You followed after him, sticking by the entrance to the hallway as you watched him pick up his things and leave. He did spare you another glance, heartbreak written all over his features that threatened to make you march over and hold him. You didn't do it though, holding your ground and needing him to understand how serious this was. Then, he turned and he left without another word.

He didn't even bother to put on his shoes that he kicked off by your front door, he'd just grabbed them and left the house with a soft slam of your front door.

That was when you started to cry. It wasn't intense, it wasn't angry, it was just sad. Tears just slipped down your cheeks as you went back into your room, and sat on your bed with your head in your hands.

✦ ✦ ✦

You missed Steve. Terribly. And if you were missing him, then he was missing you too.

It had only been a few days, close to a week since you brought your relationship to an end. And it hurt. You had felt a sort of numbness, seeing as most of the things in your home had reminded you of him. Some of his shirts were still there, sitting in a drawer in your bedroom (And he had some of yours too), photographs you've taken together, gifts, and your favorite...notes he had given you still pinned up on your mirror like you were still a high schooler in love.

It wasn't like your prior break-up, which was insanely messier and made you more angry than the melancholic feeling that was there to stay heavy in your chest.

The truth was, you desperately loved Steve, and everything about him. You didn't want it to end like this, you didn't want it to all come to an end because of something like this. You and him...you had been through too much to let this situation that could be fixed ruin your relationship. You wanted him back, badly, but you weren't entirely sure on how to tell him that, feeling stupid crawling back to him after you were the one who broke it off.

Then again, he had come back to you. You decided, after another day of post break-up depression that you weren't going to let him go, or at least not let it end this way that left a bad taste in your mouth and your stomach in knots. You had to at least try and hope Steve wants to too.

Steve hadn't expected to see you coming into the Family Video Store. He himself had been in shambles, still in quite disbelief that you ended it with him. He had hardly been getting sleep, everyone around him had pointed out, especially Robin whom he told about what happened the very next day.

She was also in shock to hear it, but after Steve had told her why, Robin seemed to understand completely why you had...and Steve did too. He'd been beating himself over it for days now, like he knew the things he was saying were stupid and mean, and unfair because you were broken up when it happened, but it's like something takes over him whenever it catches the opportunity to remind you of it. He hated it. He hated it when he said them, he hated it when you would frown at him and become visibly hurt. And yet, he couldn't help it.

Very clearly his behavior from coming from a broken heart, perhaps one that hadn't quite healed since his relationship with Nancy.

Not that he still loved her, no, that was long gone...long over, but the aftermath still affected him in a way he didn't expect it to. In a way that didn't show itself until recently when he saw you and Timothy Taylor kissing in that theater when he wanted to talk you about your relationship, which was stupidly stopping him from seeking you out right now...afraid he'd see that again. He hated his brain sometimes.

So, it was a surprise, a relief even, when he heard the door open and lifted his head to see it was you. He stopped stacking videos almost instantly.

You looked breathless, and tired too, but more importantly, you looked determined, especially when your eyes found his. His heart practically swelled up in his chest as you approached him with urgency in your step.

"Steve-"

He said your name at the same time you said his, the tone of both your voices breathless and colliding with one another. You just stared at each other afterwards, as if unsure who should speak first. Steve did, just as you opened your mouth again to speak.

"I miss you," he said, then shut his mouth quickly, embarrassed because what if you'd just come to tell him to pick his stuff from your house? And to ask for your stuff back as well? He just blurted it out, and swallowed thickly, feeling his cheeks heat up and turn red.

But then, you had said you missed him too.

And as Steve stood there, still processing that you had told him it back, you were walking around the center counter of the video store and joining him behind it. When you were close enough, you said, "I don't want to be broken up, okay? I know I broke it off, and I probably sound stupid-"

"No!" Steve quickly said, shaking his head, "No, no you don't sound stupid."

He wanted to tell you so many things, wanted to bare his soul to you in the way he should've instead of making those stupid, snide comments whenever given the chance. He wanted to tell you how he actually felt about the kiss and why he felt that way, because then you could talk and properly get passed it. Like what you had thought, you and him had been through so much, like surviving three separate attacks from interdimensional creatures who wanted you for their next meal, to let something like this destroy your relationship.

Before he could get the chance to, not caring that you were in the middle of the video store where a group of girls just waltz in making it almost full, not caring that they would hear him confide in you this like he wanted to, like he should've the day you ended things with him, you were speaking.

“I have an idea, okay? If we can't get past this... just kiss some other girl, I won’t be mad I swear,” you said, making Steve's brows furrow with confusion, “We’re broken up right now, everyone knows it so I can’t be mad. So just…kiss any girl you want.”

You were gesturing around the store and all Steve could do was stare at you. You wanted him to kiss another girl? He was not expecting that to come out of your mouth, not at all, and he was genuinely taken back by this.

“Are you…are you serious?” Steve asked more out of shock than excitement, which your saddened expression made him think you mistook it for excitement to kiss somebody else.

You nodded sadly before you sucked in a breath, and said in a bleak tone, as if wanting to sound unbothered, “Any girl okay? In this store, in this town. Anyone.”

He blinked, still in disbelief that you’d just said that and he absentmindedly did look around the video store, eyes finding the group of girls that were around both of your ages that had just entered the video store. Two of them had looked over at him, flashing him flirtatious smiles as they must've heard you.

He pressed his lips together, and looked back at you. You weren’t looking at him anymore, your gaze set at the girls as well after following his quick glance. You were very clearly bothered as you more than likely wondered which one he had chosen in the span of the 3 seconds he'd been looking at them.

Steve shook his head before he was reaching forward, gently grasping your chin and making you turn your head to him. Before you could react, before you could even really make eye contact with him, Steve was leaning in and pressing his lips against yours.

He felt you go still against his lips as he kissed you softly, fingers still holding your chin upward. After a few seconds, Steve was leaning away and said with a smile on lips in the softest his voice had ever been, "I choose you."

You were visibly taken back by this, looking up at him as your eyes began to shine.

In fact, your heart was actually fluttering in your chest, body once overcome with melancholy turned into nothing but pure warmth for Steve. You hadn't expected it to to this way, you’re mind overcome with heartbreak convincing you this would be the only way to rekindle your relationship.

That didn't matter anymore though, because Steve had chose to kiss you and you wanted to melt on the spot. It felt very similar to how it felt when your friend Steve had kissed you for the first time and you became something more. His brown stare just as intense underneath his thick lashes, but there was something stronger underlying them. You don’t know why you expected him to kiss another girl because despite everything, you were always aware that Steve desperately loved you too...as if you ever should've doubted it.

It was a nice reminder too that Steve Harrington still had his overtly romantic charm to him, and it was all you found yourself commenting about with a blissful smile growing on your lips.

"That...that was so romantic," you said, voice still breathless but this time because he had taken your breath away. Steve chuckled softly, eyes flickering downward to look at the smile on yours lip, having missed seeing it these past days since your break-up.

"I mean it," he told you, moving his hand to gently cup your cheek, his eyes growing serious, "I choose you."

And you knew, even if he hadn't of kissed you, that he meant it. You nodded, and told him that you would always choose him too.

Then, it was you who was kissing him, pressing your lips tenderly against his the way you always did, but there was a sort of desperateness behind it fueled by being apart. Steve kissed you back with just as much intensity, like you were in private and not in the middle of his job. This time you did melt into his lips and arms.

The two girls Steve had initially glanced at turned away with frown on their lips, a handful gave a double take as if they were aghast by such a sight, and a man holding some tapes had rolled his eyes and knocked on the counter impatiently.

Steve opened one eye, lips still connected to yours, and he leaned away as he told him he was on break. You laughed, and pulled his lips back to yours with little care of the audience. The man left after that, tossing the tapes aside and you were quite sure that Steve was probably going to get a stern talking to by Keith about PDA in the workplace.

And you two would talk as well, Steve would tell you what he wanted to before, and you would listen and talk through it with him. Because that's what people in love should do when things get hard, especially if they don't want to let the other go.

[sh1-n0bu]

Ayo heard you want horny brainrots well I (🦝) have been summoned.

I don't know what your preferences are. Men, women, both, neither but personally I would fuck just about anything that is off age and willing so that being said

I absolutely adore Beidou. She is so fucking hot. She's powerful, strong willed, breathtakingly gorgeous and overall just step on me, captain I am actually begging. On top of that, she wields a claymore, the back amd shoulder muscle she must have? On God?? Yes, MA'AM.

Realistically she probably has a bunch of scars and a sun tan and overall I think Beidou might be the hottest woman in all of Genshin. Genshin has many hot women but no one surpasses her. My queen. My goddess. My love. My main since day ONE. (that's a lie but she was in fact the forst character I pulled)

Alright I'm going to take my brain and wring it out like a wet towel to give you some more asks. Cya in the next one

✿ 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 ♡︎

characters: beidou x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, angst, there will be nsfw but it’s not as wild as my other posts, both reader and beidou are switch, cute domestic shits, kazuha being y’alls adopted son (kinda)

notes: 🦝anon, my beloved, i have already made it clear that i’m a raging bisexual so yes, women♥️. women, men, sexy human look alike puppets with god and inferiority complex, idc gimme them all! went with head cannons format with this one i hope you don’t mind. also i’m so sorry my beloved 🦝 anon, i took so long to answer😭😭

aahhh yes beidou

i’m pretty sure everyone took one look at her and went “i’m sat”

and yes 🦝 anon she would have the muscles, sun tan i mean come on she stays out in the sea for as long as she wants, scars and damn did i mention muscles whew it’s getting hot in here

absolutely would spoil tf out of you

jewels, foods, all kinds of trinkets from the places she’s been to before

and if you were to talk it out with her and won’t get seasick easily, she won’t hesitate to ask you to come with her on her ship alongside the crux

after basically adopting kazuha, you two would almost become his pseudo parents in a sense

beidou is the fun carefree mom while you are the parent that frets over him as if he’s a baby

and everytime she sees you scolding kazuha over the smallest of things such as scratching his pretty face she won’t hesitate to tease you in all kinds of ways

general nicknames would be “darling” “your highness”(teasingly) “my treasure”

“[NAME]! MY TREASURE! GUESS WHO CLAPPED THE BIG NOBUSHI GUYS’ ASSES BAREHANDED!”

“OH MY ARCHONS BEIDOU YOU’RE BLEEDING!!!”

if you were to ever kiss her scars or wounds while treating her she would just melt

“ahaha… oh darling, what did i ever do to deserve you?”

due to her past of being hated by the village she was taken in, sometimes beidou would have a very horrific and detailed nightmares or thoughts of you leaving her because she is ‘cursed’

would hate to burden you but will gently stir you awake to ask for cuddles and kisses

“i-i’m sorry, treasure. i-i just… please? hold me?”

please don’t degrade her even as a joke

since you’re someone so dear to her heart, even if she were to laugh it off as a joke on the outside, she would be thinking all sorts of bad thoughts on the inside

i feel like she would give the best hugs and piggyback rides

if you’re both walking around and you’re getting tired or wounded, she won’t hesitate to squat down in front you or carry you bridal style

is so so incredibly gentle with you

she knows she’s strong, she knows she’s powerful i mean she struck down haishan, the leviathan while visionless

and due to that knowledge she’s afraid she might accidentally hurt you in some way, even when she knows you’re not some fragile doll

i can’t really see her being a sub honestly

i feel like she would be either a switch or a soft dom

is into face-sitting and i cannot stress this enough

whether it’s you sitting on her face with your juices gushing and squelching, your legs trembling to hold yourself up she won’t stop until she’s satisfied

“shh it’s okay darlin’ you’re doing sooo good. come on sit on my face, i wouldn’t mind and you know that”

or her sitting on your face as she grinds her slicky pussy into your mouth while moaning and calling you a good girl/boy as she grips your hair

it doesn’t matter which one it is, she’ll take it

will overstimulate you but in the gentlest way you get what i’m saying?

“aww there there. come on you can cum again. you can cum again right darlin’? yes you can treasure. come on cum for me. you can do it”

or it’s you absolutely worshipping every inch of her body

“haaangg~ oh yes, that’s it. keep mmggff! keep going. ah yeah, you’re making me feel so good treasure~”

sex with her would generally be very soft, slow and filled with praises

aftercare would be you two cuddling together after cleaning each other up and just talking of small topics like today’s weather, the next destination, which destination to go to next etc etc

just,,,, beidou🥹🫶

[writingsfromhome]

The Ex-Text

Prologue (the text)

A/N: warning that this fic does include cheating. I’m trying something new with this format, just a road trip story which is one of my favourite tropes everr. Plus a lot of drama. It was too short to split into parts but I liked the idea of some logues lol. Main should be out soon. Hope y’all like it too. <3

Prologue (text) / Main (ex) / Epilogue (what’s next)

————————————————————

YN:

“He’s cheating on me,” I spit into the phone. My best friend gasps. “I saw him! He’s fucking cheating on me Taz what do I do? Do I confront him? Should I wait ‘til he gets home?”

“Where are you?” She asks.

I’m standing in front of the glass window to the bar that my boyfriend sits at. He’s facing a woman in black, with his hand on her knee, and a smile brightening his face. I blink, my focus going to the reflection in the glass. I look back at myself, dazed and heartbroken and disheveled.

“I’m-“ my voice cracks. I was not going to fucking cry here. I sniffle and move down the street to a parkette, a bench warmed by the sun invites me to sit down. “I’m at this patch of grass that’s a pathetic excuse for a park. Taz I don’t know what to do!”

“You don’t have to do anything right now. Where are you exactly? Let me come to you! Or come over. Don’t do anything rash-“

“I want to,” I sniffle. I wanted to, but all the energy had been drained from my body as soon as I sat down. “I was planning my future with this fucker. I…I thought he was going to propose soon! I caught him looking at rings the last time we were out remember? Do you…d’you think they were for her? Oh my god I’m such an idiot Ican’tbelieveIdidn’tseeit!”

It wasn’t British of me at all. At all. But I hang my head and sob. I couldn’t hold it in, my future crumbles before my eyes and all I can do is cry.

“Fuck’s sake,” I hear Taz say. “I’m coming to get you.”

I don’t remember much of what happened after that. How long I sat there until Taz found me—she’s tracked my phone. She called us a cab and taken me to her place where I crash on the couch for three days. Ethan had called and texted me, growing progressively worried. Until he showed up at Taz’s and her fiance had kept him out.

I always wanted to be one of those girls who was strong and tough, who could tell a guy who she’d been dating for nearly two years where he can shove it when he cheated on her.

Instead I was the girl who curled up even tighter when she heard his voice at the door. When he shouted her name over her best friend’s fiance’s body (that was built like a brick, I knew he wasn’t getting past).

I was the girl who snuck into the flat when I knew he was gone to work to get everything out with the help of friends.

It was two weeks before I could face him. He’d apologized, tried to give excuses but I was so numb by then I’d just let him ramble before giving an excuse about having to go and leaving him behind. I never quite got the closure I wanted but I was okay with stuffing it into the dark parts of my mind and never thinking about it again.

That is until 10 months later an invitation shows up in my inbox.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I say at the notification. My colleague in the next cubicle turns his head and I duck down. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

I click the email subject * Ethan and Van Make it Forever *

If you’re reading this, you mean a lot to us!

Join us on October 17 for a small (medium) celebration of love and commitment. No gifts, just your sexy selves.

Glitter rains down on loop over the invitation while dreamy clouds move on loops from side to side in the back. My own thoughts loop: is this a fucking joke?

“Y/N?”

“Yes?” I look up over the cubicle to where my name’s being called. My manager points to the room he’s in.

“We need minutes?”

“Oh…” I glance at my growing inbox. I didn’t actually have the time to lend a hand but I didn’t know how to say no. “Be there in a minute.”

My colleague beside me glances over and shakes his head. I shrug my shoulders and take my laptop in to spend the next hour in excruciating pain as I take pointless notes on a meeting I have no clue about. By the end of it my fingers are cramping and my inbox had doubled.

I had forwarded the email to my best friend by then and when I get back to my desk, collapsed in my seat, I read all of her 13 texts. They weren’t family friendly and they definitely make me feel better. I wasn’t crazy. My ex who cheated on me had invited me to his wedding.

My phone vibrates, Taz. But instead it’s a number I’d only ever gotten bad news from. One-time bad news I’d dubbed the ex-text. I open it:

Did you get the invite too?

•••••

Harry:

The invitation wakes me up, and I untangle myself from the warm body beside me to get my phone. Apparently I’d missed a phone call too.

I open the email and can’t help the laugh that comes out. Obviously nothing is funny, it’s unbelievable.

“Hm?” The woman beside me stirs, but my eyes are glued to the invitation. What a bitch, I can’t believe she had the audacity to invite me to her wedding!

I remember it so vividly, my girlfriend of years telling me she wasn’t in love with me anymore. That she met someone new. I’d asked how long, I had to ask again before she told me. Since the spring. So I had been walking around and living my life for over three months thinking my girlfriend loved me, that we were soulmates and all the other bullshit.

I couldn’t be depressed, I lived that next month with a drink attached to my lips at any given moment. It ruined me. It ruined my whole life. And then I got angry, that was when the drunk phone calls and late night messages began. I found out the person who replaced me. I stalked him on the internet and when I found out he had a girlfriend, it was my lucky day.

I’d texted my ex then, hoping this piece of news would be the end of that relationship. She’d come crawling back to me. Instead she had said, I know. He’s breaking up with her he just needs some time. Harry nothing’s changed, we’re not going to get back together.

I put on my detective hat, somehow through some intense stalking and help from a friend I’d gotten this stranger’s number. Then I’d texted her the screenshot, the photos on my ex’s private page of her and him. I was dropping a bomb on this random stranger but she needed to know. That’s how I justified it.

It was over a year since this all came about and everyone in my life expected me to be over it. Including my ex. I text her, hoping her number was still the same.

Are you really inviting me to your wedding with him?

She responds immediately, I thought we were at a place where I could. That you could be happy for me? It’s been so long.

She was delusional. How could I ever be happy for me after she left me like that, blindsided and broken hearted. The only conversations between us since then were when she wished me happy birthday. We never spoke.

Did he invite the girl he left behind too? I go with snarky, my favourite tone.

No ofc not. But are you coming? You can bring a + one.

I’ll see

Hope to see you there. xx

She really was delusional. A part of me wanted to show up, prove to her or me or the universe I could get on with my life. But I also didn’t want to be in this alone. I put my skills to work and an hour or so later, after the girl I woke up with had gone home and I put my empty coffee mug in the sink I text her. The stranger whose life I had imploded.

Did you get the invite too?

[spaceagebachelormann]

Dating Tam Song headcanons for the poor please? Also, are you excited for the shadow and bone cast q&a? Cause I certainly am.

DATING TAM SONG

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FANDOM: keeper of the lost cities

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FORMAT: headcanons

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: one teeny tiny angsty mention, like technically a few spoilers??

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: HI ALICE!!! i am over the moon for the shadow and bone cast q&a ive never been more excited for anything ever in my life

kotlc masterlist || masterlist || navigation

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE I STARTED THIS BLOG

okay so he is like the greatest most awesomest boyfriend ever istg

he seems like his love language would be acts of service

and also he’d genuinely be upset if you walked into a room without him opening the door for you or sat down without him pulling out the chair

he’s a gentleman let him be one <3

you’re required to be friends with linh

if she doesn’t like you it’s an immediate red flag (unless your rayni)

sophie WILL make you take a 325 question quiz to see if you’re right for her bsf

no i’m joking it’s 5 questions

anyways

he’d like shows from like the 50s-early 70s

so you’ll walk in on him watching something in black and white and be like “what’s this” and you better sit down because he’s gonna tell you the whole plot

it’s so interesting watching him talk about stuff he likes <33 his eyes light up and he starts rambling

you can tell he’s passionate about it

THIS MAN IS A BIG CUDDLER BTW

your legally obliged to not tell anyone especially keefe this but he thrives on cuddles

like even if it’s for 5 mins in the most uncomfortable position ever it’s enough to make his whole week

hed also make an insane effort to keep you away from both the neverseen and his parents

hes lost enough and you don’t need to be added to that long list <3

okay um anywyas next

hed call you the most weirdest names ever

“hey i brought that thing you wanted” “thank you baguette”

he basically just calls you foods

also we’ve seen how protective he is of linh right??? yeah that but with you is 10x worse

will quite literally follow you around

and like it’s not in a “i don’t trust you” way it’s in a “i just want you to be safe” way

he’ll back off if you ask him too

the thing is he has that “anything for you <3” mentality but it’s more like “ANYTHING for you. <3”

more threatening basically

also so help me god if someone tries to hurt you in some way

they like can’t even look at you afterwards

okay next set of hcs!!

i think he’d like

LOVE to read and hed like go to the library every other day to get 15 new books

and i have this cute little idea of him going there because you go there and it gives him an excuse to stare at you for several hours <3

its probably how you met him

but then again he seems like he’s more likely to fall for someone who’s known for a few months/years

also he can sculpt because i said so

so if you like sculptures/mythology he makes you little statues

will let you mess with his hair and braid it and put it in pigtails and stuff

after much convincing

he’s like super shy at the beginning of the relationship but as it progresses and he becomes more comfortable you can tell how much he really does like you

linh tells you not to be alarmed cause he’s just getting comfortable

also when he gets excited he has this little look in his eyes

they become all sparkly and glittery

now it’s 5x more sparkly and glittery when he’s talking to you

OH HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE A LOT

i kinda like the idea of him and a childhood friends to lovers and like he comes to your house a lot so he doesn’t have to go home

hed love holding your hands btw

no matter if they’re warm, cold, rough, soft, small, big, he loves them

will constantly be grabbing your hands and dragging you around (affectionately)

he loves kissing them also

before he’s about to leave to go do something he takes one of your hands and gently kisses it before skeddadling

he could talk to you for hours

theres times in conversations where someone will be talking and he internally WILL NOT CARE AT ALL but as soon as you have your own input/opinion he’s listening intently

also imagine going to something with him where you need to dress fancy and he sees you in your fancy pretty outfit and is like awestruck

unable to form words

thinks you are the most amazing person ever like he’d kill for you if you asked

also would love doing your hair

okay it’s 12am i have to sleep

he’s such a good bf i love him

[smoshidiot]

fuck it, since it's my own ask game, i'm gonna answer all of them

Ian or Anthony? - Ian. But I love Anthony dearly and they both make me so happy <3

When did you start watching Smosh? - 2012. Was SUPER obsessed for a few years. Kinda fell off when Anthony left, very excited to be back.

What's your favorite channel between main/pit/games? - Gotta be main channel because nostalgia counts for a lot for me

Who is your favorite castmember? - Besides Ian and Anthony, Shayne ♡ (ily Noah and Courtney tho mwah)

Do you have a favorite Smosh video? What is it? - Paranormal Easy Bake Oven!

Fave classic Smosh character? - I mean .. c'mon. Gotta give love to Boxman

What is your favorite series on Smosh (main channel)? - tbhh. Food Battle.

What is your favorite series on Smosh Pit? - rn it's the reddit stories they're so fun

What is your favorite series on Smosh Games? - I don't have a better answer but remember the series "I have a raging bonus"? yeah ..

Fave Smosh song? - The Legend of Zelda rap my beloved

What's something you want to see come back? - I'd love a food battle 2023 if I'm totally honest. also just music in general

Do you own any Smosh merch? - i USED to own the legend of smosh green hoodie but had to throw it out after wearing it for half a decade. just ordered my reunion shirt tho

Do you ship anything/love any friendship pairs? - I used to be a hardcore cringe ianthony shipper. I still adore their friendship and god they mean a lot to me. also .... shaynoah

What is your favorite 'era' of Smosh? - i'm really excited for this upcoming era tbhh. but also 2012-2014ish slapped

What castmember do you think you are most like? - Arasha tbh she's such a damn mood sometimes

Have you met any friends through Smosh? - Hmm not particularly, but I definitely had friends in middle school that i forced to watch smosh and an irl friend that i still have today that used to watch them

What do you want to see now that Anthony's back? - As said above, I'd rly love music videos with the duo again. But also I'm excited to see Anthony get put onto all of the pit/games series

What is your fave Smosh meme/inside joke? - my donkey is river waffle big sausage fat (a classic, really)

Is there a video/series you really loved when you were younger? - lunchtime with smosh was one of my all-time faves

Do you have a crush on anyone at Smosh? - Shayne Topp hmu is all I'm gonna say

Did you ever watch Smosh the movie? - of course I did. I still own the DVD somewhere .. no i cannot remember a single thing that happened in it

Simply post a screenshot/moment/reaction that you love. - I'll post one at the bottom of the questions bc tumblr is dumb abt formatting

Tell me an unpopular Smosh opinion. - tbh i straight up can't watch eat it or yeet it, it's too gross for me

Tell me about a Smosh memory you hold dear. - when I met Smosh Games at a comic con in 2014(? i think it was). It was the OG crew + Wes it was amazing they were all so sweet and I remember Wes complimenting my costume and asking me what my fave thing from the series was. Joven signed my sketchbook

It's food battle time. You picking a pink frosted sprinkled donut, or some stick-shaped food? - Always go for that pink frosted sprinkled donut babey!!

oh and here's my fave random screenshot btw:

[intertexts]

EPISODE 6 TRIVIA aka YAYY FANTASY BULLSHIT WORLD:

- PRIME DEFENDERS DND CHARACTER SHEETS COMING SOON BABYYYY

- this was all the way leading up to a split the party scenario where vyncent would have gone with minerva on his own BUT that changed all because she said ONE LINE that sounded sus that made charlie immediately like "nope no we cant let him go by himself"

- EVERYBODY LOVES WORMY !!!! "i hope wormy like snuck onto one of our pant legs or something. i want wormy with us always"

- wormy the worm is like this campaign's goobleck (<< context: goobleck was a temporary player character in riptide when gillion went missing and when goobleck stopped . being needed . i guess. he split into like a million pieces and has tiny versions of himself across the entire multiverse goobleck is canon in every campaign. in riptide he lives in the floorboards of the ship and occasionally says things. i only explain this bc im pretty sure they make a goobleck joke in pd at one point but i cant remember when)

- at the end of the episode grizzly said "it was really hard not to say 'vyncent you better come back soon before william falls in love with me'"

- some cool powers the toy guy had that bizly didnt get to show off: a barrel of monkeys that would hinder, immobilize or paralyze; wind up robot toy with a DC 20 WILL CHECK because it makes this loud screeching sound; and a couple more that he didnt say because theyre cool and he might use them later :]

- bizly likes to sit on his roof when he writes. this is SO REAL of him. also when he writes the beginning of an episode he actually draws out a little comic book format and writes in the panels whats happening in each of them. i think thats such a cool process

- they rolled for stats but ended up scrapping those numbers because charlie rolled SO BAD (unsurprising) and it made bizly nervous bc "if you die in the dnd world. you die. none of the bs mutants and masterminds death rules we are playing dnd full tilt william wisp WILL BE DEAD FOR REAL"

you know what i'm SO glad charlie was like "nope no we cant let him go by himself" because LITERALLY as soon as she said that line i also was like oh FUCK no they can NOT let him go alone with this strange lady through the hell portal. so glad they didn't split the party man.

I LOVE WORMY.. he is my favorite too.. also delighted by this goobleck lore?? also dakota third wheelisms 2 their bullshit will never not be funny 2 me. god. he's so real its so delightful.

+ thats so fun......... thats such a cool process i like it sm!! he's so good at specifically like, the visuals & framing of every scene it's always so evocative so kind of storyboarding it like that makes a lot of sense 2 me... i LOVE hearing gm thought processes so this is awesome yayyyy :]

ALSO SHAKING U. YEAH THIS WAS WILD TO READ FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE WILLIAM WISP JUMPS OFF A CLIFF HOLDING ONTO SOME GUY AND ALMOST FUCKING DIES. head in hands. great timing!!!

[exileseverafter]

The Author of Exiles Rereads All Of Exiles Published So Far

That's right, I did it. In preparation for Book 4, I started rereading something I started writing...like...ten years ago or something. And you know what? It's pretty good! Turns out I like my stuff!

Behind the cut are a lot of rambling thoughts on each book, along with anything I might have done differently. Mild spoilers, but mostly just authorial navel-gazing.

Book One thoughts: Hey, did you know that if you're making any kind of longform work you should consider taking notes on things like character hair/eye color and background details? And also, it's good to have a beta reader? Because I don't know if I had either at the time of book one! And there are sooo many little continuity errors I noticed! They aren't things you're likely to catch unless you're looking for them, but it makes me think I want to go back at some point and not rewrite book one entirely, but just edit it a little. Fix some errors. It's still solid, and I'm pretty sure me being the author is the only reason it kind of felt like that "Spot the Errors" episode of Garfield and Friends. (Side note: If you can find it on the web, please watch the Garfield and Friends episode "Mistakes Will Happen." It's one of the funniest things ever, with far too many jokes to catch in one viewing for something that predates the internet.)

Also, it turns out that if you try to read something by downloading it in PDF form off of AO3 and putting it on your phone via Kindle, it does unholy things to the formatting. So I do not recommend reading Exiles (or anything else) like that.

Errors aside, god, this was nostalgic. One reason I started this reread was to get back into the heads of the characters, and it all started coming back to me right away. I can go oh, there's where I figured out how this would end. That's when this first comes up. Neat! Also there are some genuine accidental foreshadowing bits that lead into book three, of all things.

Book Two thoughts: Wow, this is long. It's easily the longest of the three, and I'm not sure how well the pacing holds up in retrospect. I was very much writing as a "weekly serial" rather than a novel at this point, and it shows for better or worse. There are chapters where I can tell I was just trying to get something up. Did you know if you write something with regular updates, it's a good idea to have a backlog instead of just writing week to week?

That said, this is where I started to shake off the constraints of "everything must be rooted in some preexisting fairy tale" and I think that's for the best. I started pulling inspiration from 50s pulp sci fi, Little Shop of Horrors, what people in the 90s thought VR was going to be like, and buddy cop flicks. I was figuring out my gender at the time I introduced Rem Tera, and wanted a nonbinary character whose issues were not centered around what were Nonbinary Character Tropes at the time, i.e. 'figuring out nonbinary was a thing, explaining it to others, which bathroom to use, etc.'

I also like playing with scale in unusual ways, and one thing I wanted to lean into was how to create a threatening antagonist who was a few inches tall in a world where people came in giant size. It turns out the answer is 'give him some big monsters to command and scary levels of manipulative charisma.' Lord Germain, you are the worst but I am so proud of you.

Note: I think there may be a chapter missing from the original Jukepop posting. I'll try to go through and fix it soon.

Still also very happy with the final arc, even if the story does a bit of narrative water treading to get there. This book has the most 'quiet time' with the characters, and I think in the long run it helped me flesh out the relationships established in book one and the new ones forming in book two. Especially since book three is pretty story-heavy. Speaking of! Book Three thoughts: Wow, this is like post-timeskip One Piece where one thing just leads right into another. It's unsurprising, since a lot of the plot threads laid in books one and two really activate here. Libra and Valerian have a been a presence from the beginning and Blue was hinted at as far as the Moonflower Market. So yes, I was sitting on those for a while and happy to set them off here.

No Reflection is probably the most difficult original fic work I've written so far. To give you an example, I started it too soon after finishing Of Rot and Bloom and was stalled out for years afterwards. The good news is that like any creative project that isn't made of expiring materials, you can pick a story up at any time. One day I finally decided to ditch the chapter I was stuck on, write something else and start the ball rolling again.

And it worked! I finished it. More or less. There's something of a Nona the Ninth/Alecto the Ninth "book 3 and 4 are part of a piece" feeling to the end of Book Three, but I do try to end on at least a climactic element. There are just a lot more cliffhangers this time around.

Man, I'm mean to Basil in this book and this isn't even his book! Poor guy is gonna have it rough in Book Four.

ALSO, there are at least two missing chapters, and they're important ones that reveal major plot elements. In fact, one is right in the climax. I need to fix that ASAP. Presumably AO3 lets you insert chapters? I'll figure out how.

So, what does this mean for Book Four? It means it's definitely happening, though I don't want to say it's happening immediately. Maybe after the New Year. I have some chapters prewritten for Book Four I want to revise, and this time I'm making sure I have a healthy backlog and a plot outline worked out.

For everyone who's read any part of Exiles, thanks so much for supporting me thus far! I really appreciate it. Wouldn't be able to keep up this much enthusiasm without you. And if you're thinking of writing (or drawing, or animating) your own original thing, my advice is just to do it! Just jump in. Yeah, it won't be perfect, but you'll learn by doing, and an imperfect story that exists is always better than the idealized one trapped in your head.

[jurygarroth]

my playlists r private :(

but im sending fav songs from them anyways bc i am a nuisance :)

(garroth)

brother // madds buckley

the family jewels // marina

history hates lovers // oublaire

top of my school // katherine lynn-rose

family line // conan gray

time moves slow // badbadnotgood

two birds // regina spektor

my alcoholic friends // the dresdon dolls

la seine // vanessa paradis

-🍃

CHRIST ON A POPSICLE STICK this was hard work but i'll do it for you [pasted + formatted under readmore]

me again!!

(vylad)

god must hate me // catie turner

viva la vida // coldplay

the author // luz

like i remember you // vera blue

wires // the neighbourhood

glory and gore // lorde

dog days are over // florence + the machine

little pistol // mother mother

the hand that feeds // the crane wives

arsonist's lullaby // hozier

the night we met // lord huron

sunlight // hozier

pretty little things // the crane wives

kalmia kid // chloe moriondo

poison // stick and poke

working for the knife // mitski

a burning hill // mitski

where is my mind? // the pixies

hansel // sodikken

hold yourself tight // the scary jokes

bad apple!! // richaadeb

dread in my heart // mother mother

brother // madds buckley

the horror and the wild // the amazing devil

blame // air traffic controller

in our bedroom after the war // stars

liar // the arcadian wild

the moon will sing // the crane wives

time moves slow // badbadnotgood

like real people do // hozier

(aphmau)

sweet hibiscus tea // penelope scott

under my skin // jukebox the ghost

anxiety song // human petting zoo

do it 4 yrself (di4y) // human petting zoo

kingdom dance // tangled

never love an anchor // the crane wives

the moss // cosmo sheldrake

cryptid (mothman) // ratwyfe

i was an island // john-allison weiss

the daughter of the fish and the ram // the scary jokes

vanilla curls // teddy hyde

class of 2013 (live) // mitski

down the river // the crane wives

(dante)

two birds // regina spektor

somewhere only we know // keane

the moon will sing // the crane wives

the tree on the hill / percy jackson musical

a sadness runs through him // the hoosiers

rises the moon // liana flores

second child, restless child // the oh hellos

never love an anchor // the crane wives

overgrown garden // beetlebug

stray italian greyhound // vienna teng

in our bedroom after the war // stars

allies or enemies // the crane wives

come with me // chxrlotte

ready now // dodie

call them brothers // regina spektor, only son

brutus // the buttress

drinking song for the socially anxious // the amazing devil

ramblings of a lunatic // bears in trees

brother // kodaline

war of hearts (acoustic ver) // ruelle

(gene)

ambrosia wine // madds buckley

big bad wolf // roses & revolutions

runs in the family // amanda palmer

bad bad things // ajj

this is love // air traffic controller

teeth // 5 seconds of summer

sheep go to heaven // cake

my heart gies bum bum bum // flatsound

don't blame me // taylor swift

raise hell // brandi carlile

...ready for it? // taylor swift

smoke breaks // daddy and the long legs

somebody told me // the killers

losing face // wilbur soot

tongues and teeth // the crane wives

bird song // florence + the machine

revived // derivakat

i don't take insults lightly // madds buckley

monet issues // chase petra

pomegranate seeds // julian moon

choke // i don't know how but they found me

an unhealthy obsession // the blake robinson synthetic orchestra

villains, pt 1 // emma blackery

mama // my chemical romance

blood - end credits // my chemical romance

ignorance // paramore

all i wanted // paramore

the killing kind // marianas trench

rebels // call me karizma

she's my collar // gorillaz, kali uchis

hayloft ii // mother mother

saint bernard // lincoln

i miss having sex but at least i don't wanna die // waterparks

setting yourself up for sarcasm // get scared

killer // the hoosiers

oblivion // halfy & winks

animal i have become // three days grace

horrible kids // set it off

(travis)

the daughter of the fish and the ram // the scary jokes

imposter syndome (live ver) // sidney gish

burn him down! // kitsch club

friends with you // the scary jokes

catabolic seed // the scary jokes

pink smoke // the scary jokes

agatka (agatha! you're being melodramatic!) // weatherday

anxiety song // human petting zoo

onion boy // isaac dunbar

dr. sunshine is dead // will wood and the tapeworms

should've been me // mitski

pleaser // wallows

you are going to hate this // the frights

hate yourself // tv girl

tell me it's okay - demo // paramore

peach scone // hobo johnson

oh klahoma // jack stauber

achilles come down // gang of youths

nights like these // pigeon pit

i can't make you love me // dave thomas junior

vanilla curls // teddy hyde

self care // penelope scott

ship in a bottle // fin

RLLY LONG ONE BTW

(laurance)

ribs // the crane wives

red moon // will wood and the tapeworms

like real people do // hozier

community gardens // the scary jokes, louie zong

fences // destroy boys

too close // sir chloe

be nice to me // the front bottoms

michelle // sir chloe

mr. loverman // ricky montgomery

505 // arctic monkeys

hopelessly devoted to you // olivia newton-john

still into you // paramore

all i wanted // paramore

hey lover! // wabie

hot rod // dayglow

the bidding // tally hall

baby hotline // jack stauber's micropop

oh klahoma // jack stauber

be calm // fun.

dear fellow traveller // sea wolf

lay all your love on me // abba

eighth wonder // lemon demon

your new boyfriend // wilbur soot

the hand that feeds // the crane wives

your best american girl // mitski

indigo night // tamino

the garden // the crane wives

metaphor // the crane wives

the night we met // lord huron

kiss with a fist // florence + the machine

problems // mother mother

a burning hill // mitski

absentee // jack campbell

i want you // mitski

better than me // the brobecks

cigarette daydreams // cage the elephant

tongue tied // grouplove

since i saw vienna // wilbur soot

never love an anchor // the crane wives

creep // radiohead

a sadness runs through him // hoosiers

oleander // mother mother

the moon will sing // the crane wives

icicles // the scary jokes

dark red // steve lacy

ship in a bottle // fin

under my skin // jukebox the ghost

alrighty aphrodite // peach pit

every other freckle // alt-j

curses // the crane wives

everyone // mitski

down the river // the crane wives

october // the crane wives

time moves slow // badbadnotgood

being so normal // peach pit

grenade // bruno mars

the bug collector // haley heynderickx

[dreamingofaizawa]

Y'all I just.... I'm working on something in the background and holy fuck I just made my own body heat up holy--

**VERY suggestive content ahead, but no smut....yet ;)**

Notes: The setting is medieval fantasy, and main character is on crutches at this point. Gidrivon is a very large mostly-human-teensy-bit-orc-tiny-bit-elf monster hunter. Mans is l a r g e ok?

Also this is not part of any fanfiction I have in the works, this is from a book I'm working on but this was just too juicy not to share. Also also, it's in first person. Sorry not sorry.

Enjoy~

The pond itself, as well as the waterfall, is glowing. The algae on the rocks inside the water and behind the waterfall radiating a brilliant blue, illuminating the entire area. The moon crawls out from behind a cloud and casts everything in pale light to compliment the blue. Fireflies dance over the water, twinkling and flickering like little flames. I can only think to breathe again when Gidrivon speaks from one of the rock formations, having set the lamp down on a rock and began undressing.

“Are you going to just stand there, princess? Or are you going to join me in the water?” In the water? But it’s night, it’d be impossible to dry off quickly without feeling like we’re freezing. Then again, he did bring a whole lot of bedding and blankets. Fuck it. I hobble over to a nearby rock and begin stripping. I wait for the sound of water sloshing to signal he’d gone in, but it never comes. Instead I turn to see him standing not far from me, his head turned away but his hand outstretched.

“Join me, princess.” It’s sweet how even now he averts his eyes. He makes it feel far too easy to just grab his hand. After the past week, after all the anger I’ve let out on him even if I’d only been a slight inconvenience, he still holds nothing against me. It feels like I don’t deserve to take the kind hand he’s offering. I must take too long to move, since he turns those beautiful eyes on me. They don’t even stray for a moment, glued to my own.

“I’m trying my best to be polite and help you in. But if you’re making me carry you like this I’m afraid I may not stay so polite.” There’s a heat to his words I can’t ignore, a depth I’m not fully understanding. Instead of dwelling on it I choose to jest.

“What, never seen a woman before hunter?” His smirk is devilish, far too attractive for my head to wrap around.

“I assure you, I’ve seen many. Most don’t get to see much of a gentleman before I bed them.” I playfully roll my eyes at him, at his antics.

“Of course. I suppose you must not find me very tempting, if you’re so polite.” It was meant to be a joke, a lighthearted throwaway comment insinuating he actually hadn’t bedded a woman, or he wouldn’t be so afraid to look. I haven’t bothered to cover up, and neither has he, so when his eyes slowly rake down my naked body it takes everything in me not to squirm under that heated gaze. It’s only moments later he’s stepping over and scooping me up off the ground, those big big hands and fingers sinking into my soft, fatty flesh. 

“I can assure you without a shadow of a doubt there is quite a lot that is tempting about you, my dear princess.” I can’t tear my eyes from his as he sets me down in the water, those hands landing on my waist. His thumbs trace circles in the pudge of my stomach, his other fingers splayed out on my back nearly grazing my backside. 

“May I kiss you, princess?” Oh gods this is happening. Is it really? I still feel awful for this week. I gnaw on my bottom lip for a moment, deciding.

“Only after I apologize.” One of his brows lift curiously.

“Whatever for?” I sigh, allowing my own hands to trace up his arms and flatten against his chest.

“For being an ass these past few days. For taking out my anger on you, when you didn’t deserve it. For making life just a little bit harder on purpose.” His smile is infectious, wide and toothy and gorgeous. He should smile more often. It suits him.

“Apology accepted. May I kiss you now?” I nervously chew on my lip again. These nerves feel different than anything else. A tingling in my stomach and my heart beating wildly fast. My mind blares with the reminder that this would be my first kiss. But there’s a first for everything. Besides, he looks too beautiful to refuse right now. His dark skin reflects the blue light, complimenting those enchanting green eyes. I shakily nod, and as he leans in close I can feel his breath mingling with mine. I hesitate, just as his lips touch mine, a whispered confession falling off my tongue.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He stares down at me, a hand reaching up and cupping my jaw, thumb tilting my chin up to his.

“That’s alright. All you need to do is relax.”

[straye]

the salty af munday meme. (reformatted from here!)

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you? untagged / uncut smut roleplay, any display of bigoted or hateful views, guilt-trippy words, vagues, pity fishing. new one bug misgendering me (she/her and they/them are NOT my pronouns: I LITERALLY HAVE MINE LISTED EVERYWHERE), making jokes or fun of my name (newsflash: yin yang jokes are actually racist when i'm asian.) i've developed very low tolerance levels for all of this.

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? uhhh that one time a duplicate (who was an adult) stalked and tried to turn an entire community against me when i was sixteen because I wouldn't give in to covert measures at discouraging me from writing this specific character. and then ANOTHER duplicate of that same character tried to do the same thing but she went the extra mile to have her lackeys send anon hate while gaslighting me about it when i confronted her directly.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? Um. There's a conversation to be had about RPers preferences for cis male characters.

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz YES. OH MY GOD. While I block all duplicates on a principle so I can avoid seeing it again, I've had it happened to me way back on the characters I played when I was 16 and it's like. WHY. YOU'RE EVEN FOLLOWING ME AND THE SAME PEOPLE I WRITE WITH TO DO THAT. Don't get me started on when I rped a character that was a popular fc among tumblr rps at the time because I'd find my icons on their blogs too and once I got so fed up that I just released all icons I used (shy of 900 total).

♚ How many people don't like you? I'm sure I've got plenty, but for my peace of mind, I'm not trying to think about it.

⚜ How many people do you not like? For everyone's peace of mind, I'd like to leave this one unanswered.

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama? Somewhat. But because this place is that place, it inevitably crops up.

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama? Yes, but like, when I was sixteen.

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation? Yes, and I got ganged up on for it.

☼ How long do you stay mad? Depends on the severity of the situation; I tend to hold grudges when I don't get apologies, though. ( And like, real ones. Not 'Oh, I didn't mean to do so and so. I'm sorry.' )

☀ What's your rp pet peeve? Triple space, purple prose, heavy font formatting, 5x5px icons. I ... don't have the best eyes, and a lot of people don't either. It gives me a message that people don't give a fuck about accessibility. I also hate when people use a lot of passive voice.

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have? No, because the North remembers.

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been? No, because I tend to not reconnect with people I've cut off and vice versa.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? See my rp pet peeve. Can we PLEASE try to be accessible.

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about? I'll do you one better: I dated one and rped with one and it was good for a year until I realized how much the callouts ended up actually being true of her behavior. (smiles) Needless to say....... sigh.

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post? No.

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill? Being gaslit when I tried to approach someone about something their friends were doing towards me. I don't expect you to be people's keepers but if your people are coming after me anonymously in your name, you can't just sit back and do nothing and tell me I'm overreacting like be serious.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts? They're good when they're necessary. They're dumb when the 'evidence' are the allegations themselves and not actual proof or just clear signs of stalking.

�� A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? Idk. Most canons; they don't really care much for crossover interactions as much as they say they do, and they certainly don't care much for OCs.Some canon spaces don't even allow OCs.

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting? OC 'fandom'(?) have my hearts. Other OC writers go above and beyond to help get some interactions going, and they're some of the strongest writers on the planet to keep going, despite how much this plaform has stacked against them.

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you? Don't.

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction? Considering I don't want people reblogging memes and stuff from me, I don't practice it. However, if I see a meme on my feed, I'll do my best to send something in to engage.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? [Pained smile.]

❦ Has someone been jealous of you? Yes.

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? No.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? In ways, it's gotten better. While it's not by a huge margin, the fact that people are generally more enthusiastic at having marginalized characters or characters with these traits added to certain canon characters in their spaces says a lot about where we are in society. I also love that we're more quick to call out weird people and whitewashing. Where I was in Tumblr RP back in 2012-16, you couldn't really imagine much of this since it was kept under horny wraps. People also won't put straight up korn with the p on your feed without their proper tags the way they did back then, so that's a major plus.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in? If I'm being honest with you, it's just the people that know about Psycho-Pass. LOL.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? Not at all.

[little-corritrice]

Surprises ~ Oscar & Lando

Ahead of the Japanese GP, I was sitting in my hotel room, smiling brightly at the screen as my two papaya boys came on the screen. I smiled as I got myself dressed to go enter the paddock. I threw on my hoodie, putting on my hood, mask and sunglasses as I grabbed my stuff and walked out. See, I wasn't supposed to be here. As Lando Norris' younger sister, I was labeled as a college student even though none of it was true. But I still wasn't supposed to be here as I told Lando that I wouldn't be able to make it, which absolutely broke his heart as he gave me a sad nod and hug goodbye.

~ ~ ~

Arriving to the track in 10 minutes, the cars were being sent out on the track. I smiled as I jogged onto the track with the mechanics and fans, looking for my brother, which wasn't hard as he was front row along with my boyfriend, Oscar Piastri. I giggled as Max Verstappen saw me, jogging over. "y/n! What are you doing here?" He asked, hugging me shortly. "Just surprising my papaya boys." I smiled gleefully. He nodded, and we got into conversation. Soon though, he parted ways as his trainer called him over. I walked over to the back of Lando's car, seeing him by the fence talking to Oscar. I decided to stop stalling as I rounded the car two times.

I ran over to Lando and jumped on his back, him being shocked and trying to shrug me off. I smiled at him, giving his cheek a kiss as he gasped loudly. "y/n!" He yelled, dropping me down and engulfing me in a tight hug. "Hi, Lan!" I exclaimed, hugging him tightly as he spun us. "I thought you said you couldn't make it." He pouted, and I smiled. "How could I miss my boys podium race?" I joked, lightly hitting his shoulder. He wiped a fake tear, pushing me slightly. "Ossie." I smiled, going to him. "Hi, love." He chuckled, bringing me into a tight hug as well. "I missed you." I smiled, pecking his lips softly. Lando made a noise of discontent, making me chuckle. "I missed you too, Lando." I smiled at him, bringing him and Oscar into another hug.

We fell into a nice conversation as they continued talking, interacting with fans, and preparing themselves for the race. I clung onto Oscar for some time, but switched to Lando as people were starting to leave. "Be safe. I know you always are, but I just can't help but say it. And I love you so much." I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. He brought me into a hug, sighing out softly as he kissed my head. "I'll bring her home. I love you too." He said, pulling away. I gave him once last kiss on the cheek and a tight hug before I ran off to go to Oscar. He was standing in the cockpit of his car, not sitting down yet. I smiled at him as I came over, standing alongside with trainer.

He leaned towards me as he pecked my head, ruffling my hair shortly after. "Love you." He whispered, and I smiled. "Love you more. Bring her home safely, okay?" I asked and he nodded. He put his helmet on, getting himself comfortable in the seat. "Squirt?" Lando's trainer called, holding his hand out for me. I gave him a smile, turning back to Oscar. "I'll see you when it's done." I said, kissing his helmet as he held my hand until I walked away. I grabbed Jon's hand as we walked back over to Lando. "Kick their asses, Lan." I smiled, kissing his helmet as he squeezed my hand. Jon walked us out of the track, helping me over the barrier and into the garage. We stood side by side as we watched the formation lap begin.

~ ~ ~

I grabbed Jon's hand as the checkered flag was being waved. He held my hand tightly, shaking it in excitement as both McLarens rounded the last corner. Lando came across the finish line, 2nd place, Oscar coming in 3rd. I cheered happily as we jumped around in each others embrace. "Oh my god!" I yelled happily, Jon pulling us to run out of the garage to where they'd park. We screamed happily with the team, all lining up to congratulate them. The team pushed me to the front, making me smile as Lando came skipping over, swinging his arms happily. I stood next to Zak, Lando going to the team first. He made his way over, high fiving Zak before he pulled me into him.

I giggled happily, holding him tightly. "I'm so proud of you, Lan!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. He wiped them away with shaky hands, giving me a big smile. He went back over to the team, congratulating them some more. Oscar got out of the car, a big smile on his face as he walked over. He went straight to Zak, high fiving him as well. He turned to me, opening his arms as I basically jumped on him. "Aah, I love you so much, Ossie." I cried happily, patting his back as he chuckled. "Love you more." He said, wiping my tears slowly. He went over to the team, high-fiving them as they all cheered for him, patting his head and back excitedly.

~ ~ ~

As the race day slowly died down, everyone was packing up. I was waiting outside of the garage, talking to Daniel Ricciardo, who was like my brother from another mother. I was holding his broken hand as he showed me the stiches. "Put that away, mate." Lando said, fake gagging as he came over. I giggled as I bandaged Daniel's hand back up. He laughed as well, teasing Lando about being squeamish. I saw Oscar walking out as the two boys continued to play fight. I walked over, smiling softly. He smiled back, and I went into his arms softly, holding him tightly. "I am so proud of you, Oscar. You are so amazing." I whispered. He sighed in my embrace, melting into my touch as he circled his arms around my waist. No words needed to be spoken for us to understand each other.

As we pulled away, I gave him a soft peck on the corner of his lips, grabbing his hand as I pulled him with me to Lando and Daniel. They smiled at us as we came over, both looking proud. "I'm glad she has you, mate." Lando said out of no where, making me smile up at Oscar as he gave Lando a nod, kissing my head. Daniel awed as he stared at us, giggling like a little school boy. "I'm glad I got you guys." I smiled, pulling the bunch together as I kissed each of their cheeks. "Aww shucks, y/n." Daniel said, hugging me tightly. We skipped together to the parking lot, Oscar and Lando following behind.

~ 3rd Person POV ~

Lando smiled at y/n as he walked behind her and Daniel with Oscar by his side. "I meant it, mate. I am really glad she has you by her side." He said to Oscar, chuckling at y/n as she jumped on Daniel's back. Oscar chuckled too, smiling fondly at y/n, glancing at Lando. "I'm happy to have her. She deserves the world." He said softly, and Lando chuckled. "That she does. Just take care of her for me please, alright?" He asked, looking at Oscar. Oscar looked back at him, nodding determidely. "With my life." He said, and Lando held his hand up, Oscar smirking as they gave each other a brotherly hug.

~ y/n POV ~

I giggled as I jumped off Daniel's back, turning to both boys walking up to us slowly. "Hurry up! We're never going to get to the restaurant at this pace." I giggled happily, holding my hand out for them. They looked at each other, chuckling softly before they jogged over. "We're coming." They said, making me laugh as they grabbed my hands, now pulling me with them. I smiled at Oscar as he looked back, giving me a big goofy smile. I giggled happily as we ran to the cars, Oscar and me getting in his McLaren while Daniel and Lando got in their car. We all headed back to the hotel, all of us racing to the elevator. I laughed as me and Oscar made it first, Lando and Daniel running in two seconds after us. We continued chatting as we went up.

As soon as the doors opened, we raced down the hall, Lando tripping me as he went ahead. "First to the lobby wins!" He laughed, him and Daniel running into their rooms. I giggled as I walked with Oscar, holding his hand. We made it to the room and he went to sit down. I set all of our bags down, walking to him with a soft smile. I stood in between his legs, hands around his neck. "I love you." I whispered, leaning down to peck his lips. He sighed contently, pulling me in for another kiss. "I love you too. Thank you." He whispered breathlessly as he pulled away. "Always." I smiled, hugging him tightly. I would do anything for my love, and that goes without saying.

[thisfanisgonesorry]

aa your writing is godsend ;; could you write a scout x reader smut fic where he’s eating reader out?? 😵‍💫 take your time and thank you!! <3

omg ilysm i forgot tumblr existed so sorry it took me a bit but here you go !! i also havent written or had sex in a while so im a bit rusty LMAO

cw// smut. obv. female oral BABYYY. scout is so dreamy but with a c ;), he takes after daddy spy in this one lol. ambiguous rship. i cant be fucked doing ~lore~ so its just immediately smut hes already balls deep please mentally prepare yourself and if it ruins it im sorry. i think this takes place in .. a part.. of the base .. somewhere .. in an ambiguous location👍 no beta we die like men

edit: i just woke up and my beta reader told me i forgot to write scouts accent oh my fucking god. no beta we die like men. im not changing it

edit 2: few months later hello, im porting my fics to ao3 and i noticed this one had so much wrong with it (mostly formatting and grammar) and ive changed some of it oops

♡

His hands found his way into my pants, kind of just groping, as he was hunched above me, pressing me into the sofa-chair below me; his lips stayed warmly connected to my throat as he muttered obscenities. He was teasing, and he was fully aware of it as I let out breathy gasps.

“Scout.”

“Mhm?” I could feel him grin against my neck, beckoning a response. “Babe?”

“Touch me. Can you- please.”

He began rubbing messily circles into my clit as directed for a moment, earning a gasped moan. “You sound so good, you know that?” He spoke as he slowly dipped his fingers easily into the wetness.

“Fuck, really?”

“Of course.” He began mumbling into my neck again, leaving soft bites as he began pumping his fingers in a come-hither motion. “I want to hear you.”

“Please, I need you- I need more. Oh my god.”

And then he stopped. And he removed his hand, and moved off the chair, kneeling in front of me.

“What are you doing, don’t stop!” I frowned.

He began pulling off my pants completely, throwing them behind him somewhere before spreading my legs and making very intense eye contact with it. I hesitated to keep my legs open; “C’mon, show me how pretty you are. Just relax.”

He began holding my calf as he moved one leg over his shoulder and began kissing his way up my leg, closer to my thighs, before finally making contact. I moaned, throwing my head back. He started slow, taking his time as if it was a leisurely stroll.

“You taste good too, what can’t you do?” He joked.

“Shut up.” I said quickly. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

I reached down and flicked his, for some reason still on, cap to run my hands through his hair, getting a firm grasp. He let out a groan as he continued ever so slowly.

His hands were holding tightly onto my hips, though I tried to fight it to grind into his face. “Scout. Please. More.” I whined, “Faster.”

He began going faster, lifting my hips higher off the chair to change the angle too, allowing me to roll my hips onto his tongue.

My thighs began squeezing around him and he let out something between a hum and a moan, looking up at me with big eyes. You could see it, he needed this just as bad as I did. He needed to make me cum on his tongue, he was desperate for it, he WANTED to work for it. He wanted to be here for hours for it if he had to.

“Scout, oh my god. Scout.” I began to semi-chant. “I’m right there, please, so close.”

“This fast?” He quickly muttered.

“It’s been a while!” I quickly said back as firmly as I could muster words.

He kept at it with the same agonising pace, though now he was letting out groans that was vibrating through me.

“Scout, I’m gonna, you’re gonna-” My sentences stringed into incoherent moans that gradually got louder, and he began moving slightly faster. I began chanting a mix of ‘fuck’ and ‘scout’ as I reached the edge, my back arched sharply as my muscles tensed around him, basically screaming ‘oh my fucking god’, my head harshly hit the chair as my legs shook around him.

“You okay?” He said after riding out my orgasm, listening to me gasp and pant.

“Fantastic. Amazing. Never better.” I spoke through deep breaths.

He laughed, reaching for my pants and attempting, and somehow now failing, to put my pants back on.

“Thank you.” I said, smiling at him through my haze.

“Of course.” He smiled back, standing me up to finish putting my pants onto my body. Once he finished that, he lifted my chin with his fingers and pressed a soft kiss onto the corner of my mouth; “You should get to bed.”

“Hopefully I can make it there.”

“I’ll walk with you.”