#OH GOD WE HIT 2000

[deadtower]

been at work for five hours now and a solid 50% of the songs that have played since 9.30am have been subpar covers of songs from the early aughts. it’s like the saddest fucking thing because like i love a good cover but people legit do not know how to make new songs anymore. there’s one beat that’s obviously difficult to translate into a text medium but legitimately every club song (which is most songs because people … aren’t making new songs that aren’t manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable among 14 other near-identical songs all also manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable) has it because they are quite literally all the same song

and oh my god it’s so fucking depressing. like i really and truly kept an open mind because i didn’t want to be like “back in my day blah blah blah” but like i’m a professional musician and it’s … literally the same song with slight variations and that’s the only song that exists now. that and covers on top of covers on top of covers

(i have to make it clear i am NOT talking about lizzo, she is beautiful and perfect and original and everything she does is magic. i love you lizzo)

[maemil]

God, I was getting annoyed with some choices the writers started making a bit after the halfway point of Batgirl (2000), only to be informed that this was pretty much exactly when Kelley Puckett stopped writing.

[lizardsfromspace]

I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

[neferaskingdom]

♡ It's Not You, It's Your Pants | CL16

NEFERASKINGDOM

Summary: Girl roasts Charles Leclerc’s tragic pants online, then accidentally crashes into him in Monaco. Cue spilled coffee, fashion rants, and an existential crisis about how her life turned into a Wattpad fanfic in under five minutes.

A/N: Just a random crack idea I had after seeing Charles' pants on Pinterest.

CHARLES LECLERC MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

The pants in question:

Monaco was as glamorous as your Instagram feed had led you to believe—blue skies, sparkling yachts, and streets that looked like they’d been personally polished by billionaires. You’d come here for a break from your intense fashion studies, soaking up the vibes (and let’s be honest, hoping for a celebrity sighting). And maybe—just maybe—you’d catch a glimpse of a certain F1 driver whose face had become a staple on your social media, along with some questionable fashion choices.

It was your first time here, a small vacation before diving back into the hectic world of fashion school. Your excuse? Inspiration. But honestly, you just wanted to escape to the Côte d'Azur and sip some coffee.

But you weren’t just an F1 fan. You had your own little corner of fame on Instagram. As a fashion student with a decent following, your niche was breaking down and rating celebrity outfits. Recently, you’d gained serious attention for a video where you roasted none other than Charles Leclerc—the beloved racing prince of Monaco—for wearing, and you quote yourself, “blue baggy pants that looked like they were in a fistfight with a bunch of scissors.”

It wasn’t personal; it was business. And the fact that the pants had star-shaped rips in them? Your comment was basically a public service announcement.

“Look at these pants,” you’d said, holding up a screenshot of Charles sporting his, ahem, questionable fashion statement. “I mean, what are we even doing here? Are these pants or a craft project gone wrong? Who looks at a pair of baggy jeans and thinks, ‘You know what’s missing? Giant star-shaped cutouts for maximum confusion!’”

As you strolled through Monte Carlo, cappuccino in hand, you scrolled through the comments on your viral video.

“Not gonna lie, I kinda miss when Charles used to wear those skinny jeans that made him look like a confused hipster.”

“ARE WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE STAR CUTOUTS?!?!”

“I think Charles Leclerc has been taking fashion advice from his 8-year-old self. Stars? Really? Babe, it’s not the 2000s anymore.”

“Not the hero we deserve, but the one we need—thank you for saying what we were all thinking about those pants.”

“Leclerc’s stylist should be fired, immediately.”

You chuckled at one of the memes someone had made—a zoomed-in shot of Charles in his infamous star-cutout pants, captioned: “I’m a star, literally.” Honestly, the internet was undefeated.

Mid-laugh, you rounded a corner, not looking where you were going, and—WHAM—collided with someone solid, causing you to spill your coffee, drop your phone, and let out a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a scream.

“Oh my God! I am so, so sorry!” you babbled, fumbling to grab your phone off the ground.

“No problem, really—”

You froze. That voice.

You didn’t need to look up to recognize that slightly accented, velvety smooth tone. The universe had decided today was the day it turned your life into a Wattpad fanfiction.

Charles Leclerc was standing right in front of you.

And not just standing. He was smiling—that damn heart-stopping smile—and then something in his expression shifted. His eyes narrowed slightly as if he was trying to place where he knew you from. You, meanwhile, were contemplating whether it was possible to will yourself into nonexistence through sheer force of embarrassment.

“You’re…” Charles blinked and then a glint of recognition flashed in his eyes. “Wait, you’re the girl from that Instagram video. The one about my pants.”

If your life was a movie, this would be the part where someone hit pause so you could have a full existential crisis. Unfortunately, reality didn’t work like that, and all you could do was stare at him, jaw slack, as your brain tried to reboot.

“I, uh… well…” you stammered, unsure of how to explain to the very person whose fashion choices you’d roasted in front of millions of people that it wasn’t personal.

Charles tilted his head, his smile widening. “You really didn’t like my pants, huh?”

Oh God. This was happening. This was actually happening.

“I mean, it’s not that I didn’t like them…” you began weakly, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you were currently being confronted by Charles freaking Leclerc. “It’s just… they were, you know, kind of…” You gestured vaguely toward his legs as if that would somehow help explain your deep-seated hatred for the star-ripped monstrosities.

“Kind of what?” he asked, clearly enjoying watching you squirm.

You took a deep breath, deciding to just go for it. “Okay, look. They were confusing. Like, were they pants? Or was it some weird attempt at turning your legs into a constellation? I couldn’t tell. They had star-shaped rips, Charles. also, why were there so many weird cutouts? Are they… windows? Are your pants ventilated?”

Charles let out a snort, clearly struggling to keep it together. “Ventilated?”

You nodded, gaining momentum now. “Exactly! They look like they’re half-torn on purpose, but not in a cool, grungy way. It’s like someone started cutting them up and then gave up halfway through. And the bagginess? Charles, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like you bought them two sizes too big, but then tried to fix it by adding rips. And it just… doesn’t work.”

Charles burst out laughing, his hand covering his mouth as he tried to rein in his amusement. “You really think they were that bad?”

You blinked at him, dead serious. “Charles, those pants looked like they got into a fight with a pair of kindergarten scissors and lost.”

He was full-on laughing now, and you felt a small victory in that. At least he wasn’t offended. Although, considering how often people talked about drivers online, he probably had thicker skin than you’d given him credit for.

“I have to admit, I didn’t think anyone would notice the stars,” Charles said between laughs, wiping away a tear from his eye. “But you? You gave them a whole five-minute segment.”

You groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. “I didn’t mean to turn it into an entire rant! It just… it snowballed.”

Charles grinned at you, his expression softening a bit. “No, it was funny. I saw the video. My brothers couldn’t stop laughing. Arthur sent it to me like five times.”

You blinked. “Your brothers… sent you the video?”

“Yep. They even gave the pants a name. They call them ‘the constellation pants’ now.”

You couldn’t help it. You snorted. “You should burn those pants. Like, immediately.”

He looked down at his legs, pretending to think it over. “They’re not that bad.”

“Charles,” you sighed, suddenly feeling a wave of passion wash over you. “Those pants were an abomination. They weren’t just bad—they were like an insult to pants everywhere. Like, what even were they? Baggy, ill-fitting, with random star-shaped rips? Did they start out as pants or was it some kind of tragic attempt at upcycling? Because I swear to God, it looked like a fabric store exploded on your legs.”

He blinked, clearly not expecting you to dive headfirst into a passionate rant about pants, but there was no stopping you now.

“And don’t get me wrong,” you continued, gesturing wildly. “I’m all for experimental fashion. I love a good risk. But those pants? They looked like you lost a bet to a five-year-old. I’ve seen better craftsmanship at a kids’ summer camp sewing class. They were offensive, Charles. Offensive to pants, offensive to legs, and offensive to anyone with eyes.”

Charles looked back up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Okay, but what’s so wrong with adding a little personality to my wardrobe? Stars are cool.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking your head. “Not when they’re cut out of your pants, they’re not!”

“Fair enough,” he said, still smiling. “But now you’ve got me curious. If I did burn the pants, what would you suggest I wear?”

Was this a trick question? Was he seriously asking you, the random fashion student who insulted him online, for fashion advice? What was your life?

“Well…” you began, mentally assembling an outfit in your head. “For starters, how about something that doesn’t look like it belongs in a bad 2000s boyband? Maybe some slim-fit jeans that actually fit properly. And—oh!—ditch the weird rips. You’re Charles Leclerc, not a rejected *NSYNC member.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed by your decisiveness. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I’m just saying… you’ve got the face, the career, the whole package. You shouldn’t let the pants drag you down.”

Charles grinned, leaning in slightly. “So, you think I have the whole package?”

Your brain screeched to a halt. Did he just—? Did Charles Leclerc just flirt with you?

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, star boy,” you shot back, smirking despite the fact that your internal monologue was currently having a breakdown. “I’m only here trying to fix your fashion sense.”

Charles chuckled, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. And that’s when the next bomb dropped.

“Well then, maybe you can help me shop sometime?” He said it so casually, like he wasn’t currently turning your entire existence upside down with one smooth sentence. I THOUGHT CARLOS WAS THE SMOOTH OPERATOR.

“I—wait, what?” You blinked rapidly, wondering if you’d heard him correctly. “Did you just… ask me to go shopping with you?”

He smiled again, that devastatingly charming smile that should probably come with a warning label. “Yeah. I mean, you clearly have strong opinions about what I wear. Might as well put them to good use.”

Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. This was fine. Everything was fine. You were standing in the middle of Monaco, and Charles Leclerc—your internet crush since forever—was asking you to go shopping with him. Totally normal. Just another Tuesday. Nothing to freak out about.

Yet your inner monologue was screaming, “MY LIFE IS A WATTPAD FANFICTION, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

“I, uh…” you stammered, trying to process this. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” Charles replied smoothly, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve got to fix my ‘constellation pants’ problem, right? Who better to help me than the girl who went viral for hating them?”

You were pretty sure your brain had short-circuited at this point. But somehow, you managed to respond, your voice steady despite the fact that your insides were doing cartwheels. “I mean… I guess I could do that. If you really want fashion advice.”

Charles nodded, then casually pulled out his phone. “Great. Let me get your number, and we’ll sort something out.”

You stared at him. Was this real life?

He handed you his phone, and you slowly, robotically, typed in your number, still half-expecting to wake up from this fever dream.

After you handed it back, Charles shot you a grin that could probably melt steel. “So… how about lunch tomorrow? We could discuss your fashion intervention plan.”

Your internal monologue was now full-on screaming. WHAT IS THIS LIFE?

“Lunch? Uh… sure?” you replied, feeling like a character in a rom-com who was two seconds away from tripping over their own feet.

“Perfect,” he said, his smile widening. “I’ll text you.”

And just like that, Charles Leclerc—the man whose fashion sense you had ruthlessly destroyed in front of the entire internet—waved goodbye, leaving you standing there in a daze, wondering if you were hallucinating or not.

Your life? Officially. Unreal.

[emeraldcity1900]

the history of animation in a nutshell

Early 1900s: hey what if comic strips could like move?

Late 1910s early 1920s hey what if we mashed this up with live action people?

late 1920s: hey what if this thing had sound?

Early to mid 1930s: hey what if this had people actually talking and also color?

late 1930s: hey you know that super cool movie that one lady animated with paper cut out silhouettes? What if we did that with painted cells? Would people even pay to see that? Never mind it turns out the answer is yes.

1940s: ah shit most of our animators got drafted and/or hate us now cause we weren’t paying them. IT’S PROPAGANDA TIME BABY. Also haha hitler got hit with a mallet and also the most racist depictions of Japanese people ever.

1950s to 1960s : oh what’s this newfangled thing? Television? What if you could air cartoons on it? Oh fuck no I ain’t paying that much to get the charecters to have different backgrounds and for the charecters to like, move fluidly. Also manga and anime are steadily growing more popular.

1970s: (Ralph Bakshi walks into a comics store and finds a furry comic) X rated animated movie? *cue the screams of mothers and their unsuspecting children now being introduced to the revolutionary idea that cartoons don’t equal kids stuff? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

1980s to 1990s: we can have full on animated Broadway musicals? Wait, what do you mean animated movies can count for the Oscar’s? What do you mean now they get their own catagory because the academy still thinks their for babies? Anime and manga are taking off in the west. SWEET JESUS WHAT DRUGS ARE THE JAPANESE ON SHOWING THIS SHIT TO KIDS. But also why is it so fucking good. Maybe some of these aren’t even meant for kids? Wait We can sell toys to kids with cartoons? Wait we can actually put effort into these cartoons on television? The fuck to you mean we can animate in 3D now? What do you mean we can have well animated, well written sitcom shows like the simpsons? What do you mean you can make cartoon charecters say fuck? What drugs are creators at Nickelodeon on? Do I even want to know?

2000s: oh my god, there is this one show that I really like cause it’s really well written and genuinely funny but I can’t talk about it because it’s animated and we all know cartoons are for babies right? Oh look it’s the transformers movie, look how far CGI has evolved so we can make the transformers in a movie.

2010s: holy shit I know these shows are for kids but they’re just well written and have so much meaningful things to say about the world. Wait, it’s cool to like cartoons now? They they have fandoms for this? Fuck yeah I’m in. (Enters one of the most notoriously toxic fandoms of all time) THEY HAVE GAY PEOPLE IN THESE SHOWS NOW? AND COMPLEX EMOTIONAL STORYTELLING? AND ADULT ANIMATED SHOWS CAN BE MORE THAN JUST SITCOMS WITH THE SAME JOKES AND STYLE? WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DISNEY CARTOON SINCE GRAVITY FALLS INCLUDE THINGS THAT GET MORE AND MORE FUCKED UP? WHY DO I FUCKING LOVE IT? WHY THE FUCK DID DISNEY DO THE OWL HOUSE DIRTY LIKE THAT?

2020s: I got this show I wanna pitch but it dosen’t fit into any box that the networks want and also I’m afraid that they’ll just randomly cancel it before I can finish the story I want to tell. Wait, I can just post the pilot on my YouTube channel, see if anybody actually likes this thing I made and just make the show independently? FUCK THE NETWORK! I AM THE NETWORK

[healmyhrt]

ANGST MATT. Matt gets jealous. BOOM. THATS ALL I HAVE JELOUD MATT AND ANGST. YUHHHH !!!! DO WHATEVER YOU WILL WITH YHE STORY WE JUSR NEED ANGST😍😍😍😍

⌗ jealous, m. sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: you get lost at a party, and another guy gets the wrong idea. your anxiety getting the best of you, you quickly leave the room to find matt, only for him to get jealous at what just happened.

disclaimers!: angst, kissing, use of y/n

a/n: this sucks

i had lost matt in crowds of people, and i was pretty tempted to just find a random ride home, but i wasn’t in the mood to possibly get killed tonight.

my phone chimes, and i squint at the screen, in hopes to get a better look at it. there was a text from matt that read, “where’d you go? im dying to get out of here, not rlly that fun anymore.”

that makes two of us.

i click the call button on his contact, and hear the phone begin to ring, and then stop. i quickly look at my screen, only to see a low battery symbol. “fuck!” i yell, making people near me give a confused look.

i run into a random room, and see a bunch of people getting high. i begin moving back towards the door, when a hand grabs my wrist. “stay a little, baby. what do you have to lose?”

i look back at the boy. he looked about my age, he had tan skin, brown eyes, and long, messy, brown hair that went to his shoulders. he manspreads in front of me, and i nervously sit on his lap.

no one really pays me a bit of mind, and just goes back to getting high. the boy hands me a gummy, and gives me a smile. i take it into my palm, slowly.

“how much?” i ask. he laughs in response, and hands me the bag. i read the text, and my eyes widen. “2000?!”

he places a hand on my shoulder, and shares a sweet smile. “don’t worry, you’re in good hands.” i nervously look back at the table, and everyone’s staring at me.

the boy under me, slowly moves his hand closer and closer to my inner thigh. im practically sweating my face off, as my anxiety gets the better of me.

i jump up off of the boys lap, and run out of the door. i hit someone’s chest, and look up to see matt. “oh, thank god!” i squeeze him tightly, and he hugs me back uncomfortably.

“hey, come back, baby.” the boy in the room says, laughing. matt raises an eyebrow at him, and i grasp his wrists, making him follow behind me.

“y/n, what the fuck was that? who is he?”

i keep pushing through crowds of people, until we make it outside. we’re almost to the car, when matt lets his wrists become free of me. “y/n, stop.”

i stand still for a moment, and turn around, staring at the pavement. “what was that? are you okay?”

matt walks closer to me, and slowly places his hand in mine. i grasp his hand tighter, interlocking our fingers. i look up, and softly press my lips against his.

matt pulls away quickly, and looks down at me. he gently grips my jaw, and makes me look directly at him.

“who was he?” he asks, enunciating every word.

i grab his wrist, and slowly remove his hand from my jaw, smiling. “jealous?” i turn around, and continue walking to the car. matt follows behind me, and i can almost hear the anger in his voice as he tries to remain calm.

“no…” he starts, “i mean, i shouldn’t be jealous, you aren’t even mine.” he tugs on his bottom lip.

i stop at the car, and begin to walk over to my side.

i lean against the car door, and matt stands in front of me, towering over me. “what’s that you said at the party last week?” i tease, “i own you?” i smile, mimicking his voice.

he places one arm against the car, next to my shoulder. matt leans in closer to me, eyes staring at my lips.

“fine.”

he stands up straight again, sighing. i move out of the way, and he opens the door for me.

the drive back is quiet, but had been broken many times by matt dramatically sighing.

“what?” i finally say, as we stop at a red light. he gives me an angry sigh, and clenches his jaw.

“no, say what you’ve been wanting to say for these last 40 something minutes. please, matt.” i spat out in a snarky tone.

he quickly turns to me. “i don’t know what you and that guy had going on up in that room, but it ends now.”

i look at him, my smile fading. “okay, matt.”

“im so fucking serious, y/n. you don’t know how much of what you do has an impact on me. all i’ve wanted was to be with you, and then i see you go and pull some stupid shit like that.” he looks back at the road.

“im sorry.” i shrink in my seat. matt stares at the road, as the light turns green. i slowly inch my hand closer and closer to his, and interlock our fingers again.

the rest of the ride is silent, until he pulls up outside of his house.

“still jealous?”

[msbigredmachine]

You Again - Flashback

A/N: A snippet of Evelyn and Joe in high school. I'm still completing Part 2 which hopefully should be up soon.

Warning: Themes of bullying

Word Count: 1.1k

READ PART 1 HERE

Escambia High School, October 2000

“Hey Evie!”

She is so startled she collides with her locker door, her books nearly flying out of her hands. It takes a couple of seconds to regain her bearings and realize who is standing in front of her, and it’s not anyone she’s expecting, certainly not the captain of the cheer team.

“Ayesha,” Evie straightens, awkwardly shoving her books back inside her locker and adjusting her skewed glasses. “Umm, did you…did you want something?” she asks, her arms crossed protectively over herself. They’re not friends - Ayesha has never hesitated to remind her of this - so she wonders why she is here, flashing a megawatt smile that one could mistake to be amiable. 

“So…don’t trip,” Ayesha begins, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “but I found your note in History class.”

For a second she’s confused, and then it hits her. Oh no. Oh god. She tries to play dumb, fighting the urge to look into her History textbook where she’d thought she’d tucked her little, ill-advised daydream away in one of its pages, safe from the prying eyes of the queen of the mean girls. “W-What? What note?” 

“The note you wrote, silly. I think you dropped it on the floor, you really need to be more careful, girl,” Ayesha giggles.

It’s a lie and they both know it. Evie wouldn’t be so stupid as to expose such damning evidence, let alone discard it haphazardly in class of all places. Her brain is working frantically, trying to figure out how on earth Ayesha got hold of it to begin with. Each student had to present their History paper in front of the entire class, and she suspects Ayesha swiped the note from her desk when it was her turn. It’s not hard to imagine the malicious glee in her eyes as she read the contents, not too different from the one she is trying and failing to hide right this moment:

Dear Joe, Would you like to go to the Fall Ball with me? YES   NO

“Okay,” Evie starts tentatively, treading lightly. “So can I have the note back? Please?”

Ayesha’s eyes widen dramatically. “Oh! I gave it to Joe. I saw his name on it. The note was for him, right?”

Evie feels her heart sink to Titanic depths, her insides heavy from the weight of this shattering news. The magnitude of the trouble she's put herself in brings tears to her eyes but she quickly blinks them away before Ayesha adds it to her ammunition. “Oh…I, uh…it wasn’t for…You’re mistaken, the note was for another Joe-” she starts to backtrack.

“Oh girl, there’s only one Joe in this school who matters and we all know who he is,” Ayesha dismisses flippantly. “Why you so worried anyway? I come bearing good news. He asked me to give you this.” She extends her hand, a piece of paper that looked torn out of a legal pad tucked between her fingers. Eyeing her skeptically, Evie takes it, her anxiety rising as she unfolds it and reads the familiar scribble:

Dear Evie,

Meet me under the bleachers at lunch.

Joe.

Against her better judgment, her heart flutters at his invitation, excitement bubbling inside her just knowing he responded to her. But common sense swoops in, and she stammers, shaking her head, “Look, I don’t…this isn’t necessary at all…Please, let’s just forget that any of this happened-”

“Girl, are you seriously chickening out on Joe Anoa’i?” Ayesha counters. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you and you’re turning it down?”

Evie makes one last throw of the dice, desperate to get out of this predicament. "But why are you doing this? Isn't he your boyfriend?"

"It's...complicated," Ayesha answers easily, placing a hand on Evie's shoulder. “Sweetie, any girl would kill to be in your shoes right now. Who knows, he might say yes. Are you really gonna throw that away because you’re scared?”

Terrified, actually. Not much good comes out of interacting with Joe Anoa’i when you’re not a member of his precious clique. But Ayesha is right. A private meeting with the most popular boy in school is too enticing to pass up, if only this once. So Evie forces herself to wait through the agonizing hour and a half before lunchtime, embroiled in thoughts of how their conversation will go. 

It turns out she should have trusted her gut, because the minute she steps onto the field, something feels off. 

Joe is not here. Outside is eerily quiet save for the muted bustling inside the cafeteria a few feet away. Chalking it up to him standing her up, Evie permits herself to exhale a huge sigh of relief and spins back towards the building, eager to forget all about the mess she almost made.

Then, it happens. Out of the shadows, they step out, seemingly from every corner of the stands. Jon. Josh. Ayesha and her lackeys, Kelli and Chichi. All of them emerging one by one until she is surrounded by his entire posse.

And last but not least, Joe appears like some kind of video game final boss. He steps between the twins, both of whom stare her down with the same demeanor as vultures circling over a carcass. He twirls her letter between his long fingers, his handsome face wearing a sugary sweet smile and a spiteful glint in his eye that strikes terror in Evie.

“So, Evie…I read your little message to me. It was…sweet. Real cute,” he says, coming closer to her, humored by the way she tenses as he towers over her. “I just have one question…” 

He gently trails the corner of the note along her cheek. The gesture would be considered as intimate if his eyes didn't harbor so much malevolence. “Did you really think my answer would be yes?”

The group bursts into laughter, the sounds cruel and taunting. Joe circles around her, regarding her with the same countenance as a piece of gum stuck underneath his Air Max sneakers. “What makes you think I’d ever wanna go to the dance with a nobody like you? Huh?” He throws an arm around Ayesha and kisses her cheek. "Babe, didn't you tell her you were going with me?"

Ayesha crosses her arms and shrugs with fake nonchalance, an even faker smile on her pretty face. "I wanted to...but it was much more fun fuckin' with her head."

She should have known better. Better than to write that shit in the first place. Known that Ayesha was setting her up from the start; known that standing her up or simply ignoring her was too merciful, too tame for Joe and his coven.

It’s beyond humiliating, and all Evie wants is for the ground to swallow her whole.

Ayesha steps up to her, angling her head low enough to catch Evie’s teary-eyed expression. “Awww, are you gonna cry? You gon’ cry bitch? You thirsty-ass pathetic loser?”

Ayesha's arms shoot out, shoving Evie so hard that she falls over, crying out as her knees collide painfully with the ground. Her glasses slip off her face and onto the cold dewy grass and dirt. Her tears splash onto the cracked lenses as they all step past her fallen frame, their cackles echoing in her ears long after they are gone.

--------------------------------------------------

Fun fact: A version of this incident happened to me in high school in real life. Only difference is I wasn't pushed. 😭😭😭

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[genericpuff]

I'm not sure if anyone else has made this connection, but I've never seen it mentioned before. I think, similar to Lolita, RS was also inspired by the art of Trevor Brown. His work has a lot of young girls and medical fetish themes (to put it lightly) in a style reminiscent of RS's earlier stuff.

sigh

CW: medical fetish art often depicting children / child-like characters and medical equipment such as needles, gas masks, etc. seriously don't hit the jump if medical equipment or young girls in nurse's outfits or with open wounds makes you squeamish, I will not blame you for turning around now LOL

OP I was about to just... dismiss this. Wave it away as a funny coincidence that is indeed funny, but doesn't have any real evidence to back it up. I had a post typed up in response already declaring this, after which posting I was gonna move on with my day, work on Rekindled, play some XIV.

Because sure, there are a lot of resemblances between Trevor Brown's work and Rachel's old art, but nothing that can't be dismissed in good faith as a simple coincidence of being within the same genre of fetish art (first three are Trevor's, last three are Rachel's).

But then that little voice in the back of my head whispered in my ear, "Puff. You should double check. Just to be sure. Do your due diligence." And I once again found myself on the precipice of the rabbithole that somehow becomes deeper every time I jump. This time though, I knew it couldn't be that bad, I mean, I had enough confidence in knowing that there's no fucking way she listed Trevor Brown as one of her favorite artists-

God fucking dammit. How in the world did I miss this? I mean, I suppose I missed it simply because I'm not familiar with the works of Trevor Brown, but you can bet your ass I became familiar with it in my digging. Yeah, this guy is a supreme creep.

Again, I am not going to accuse Rachel of being a pedophile because that's just not an accusation that should be thrown around without undeniable evidence. What I will say, which has largely remained the same - though even more confidently now than ever before - is that she's clearly someone who took a lot of inspiration and influence from very problematic artists when she was young (I'm talking in her late teens which has me wondering if she started making medical fetish art when she was still a minor-) and then, BEST guess, she started to drop the medical fetish stuff around the time she went to college (which was also the same time she dropped The Doctor Pepper Show, which later got reworked into The Doctor Foxglove Show which was a lot less reminiscent of her medical fetish style from the early 2000's, but still had some of her usual preferences at play) and that's led up to today where she's drawing comics that look like they're for kids but tackle heavy adult subject matter in the worst way possible that straight up perpetuates grooming.

No matter how much experience I have with this already, no matter how much I think I've already seen, I always find more, and this time was no different. In fact - though unrelated to the original topic - thanks to this one fucking ask, I even found the full Mads Mikkelson comic with the completed caption. You know, that one.

And apparently Mads Mikkelson did very much replace her crush on Jeremy Irons.

Who's Jeremy Irons?

Oh yeah.

I just... y'all I can't. This is un-fucking-real. I'm gonna go take a shower, I need to scrub myself off of this 😭

[nkjemisin]

Hello! I’ve been seeing a lot about your work on social media lately and would love to read your books. What series do you recommend I start with?

Thanks ☺���

That depends on your taste/interest. I don't really write the same kind of thing from series to series, because I get bored easily and often want to try new subgenres/styles/etc. So I'll just briefly list my series and you can pick the one that appeals the most.

There's the Inheritance Trilogy, (link goes to the first book) my first published novels. A secondary world that has enslaved its own gods deals with the repercussions of that, from the POVs of three mortals. There's an overarching plot arc for all three books -- and there are some side-stories for this trilogy, too -- but each has a different narrator and takes place at different times. First person past tense, if you care about that sort of thing. (I don't, but some people seem weirdly attached to/repulsed by particular persons/tenses, so I'm including that info here.)

Then there's the Dreamblood Duology, which were actually written before the Inheritance books but I couldn't get them published at first because publishing in the 2000s was hella racist, basically. (I know, it hasn't changed much... but that little bit of change was enough for me to break in.) These books are as close to traditional fantasy as I'm probably ever going to get, except that they take place in faux ancient Egypt instead of faux medieval Europe. The story follows priests of the dream goddess as they're forced to deal with a conspiracy that threatens to inflict horrors on their society. Third person past tense for both books.

Next up is the Broken Earth trilogy. That's my experimental one, with first, second, and third-person POVs, present tense, a completely non-Earth world, and some heavy themes. All three books form a single story spanning, oh, forty thousand years or so, but mostly they're centered on one incredibly angry middle-aged mother who is on a roaring rampage of revenge/revolution. Features earthbenders, anti-magic groomers, magic statue people, and the apocalypse (again). Lots of "dark" themes and horror moments (harm to children, systemic bigotry, people-eating bugs, more).

My most recent books are the Great Cities duology. Urban fantasy set in modern-day New York, third person multiple POV ensemble cast. Turns out cities come to life once they hit a certain point, and then they claim a human avatar to represent and protect them. New York turns out to have six. It's also got some very unwanted tourists in the form of Lovecraftian entities that are trying to destroy it, along with reality as we know it. I meant for these to be lighthearted and silly and I think they kind of are, but there are still some notable political elements in them. (I mean, it's set in modern-day New York, and I started them the year Trump got elected, so...) It's lighthearted for me, anyway.

So, pick your poison!

[undead-supernova]

Bummer! / Masterlist / 18+

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

Playlist

pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

plot: you invite eddie out to a party with you and your best friend and it's all perfect...right?

contains: eddie lacking confidence, confident!reader, dirty dancing/making out, hints at past trauma, arguing, underlining slut shaming, lots of heavy petting and fluffy feelings

note: we're up to part 3 already?! with part 4 already in the works?! who even am I anymore!!! thank you to both @littlexdeaths and @jo-harrington for being my biggest supporters and encouraging me to keep going. this is for you both !!!!

song inspo: the song in this chapter is Tití Me Preguntó by Bad Bunny. It is an absolute bop (also he is so hot it’s not even funny)

wc: 5.6k

“Your life sounds like fan fiction.”

You let out a high-pitched scoff, taking Aron’s stuffed octopus by the tentacles and whacking her with it.

“Shut up!”

Aron chuckled, throwing her hands up. “Hey, I never said that was a bad thing!”

You and Aron, your best friend since freshman year, were perched on her bed, all cross-legged and giggly, recounting the last few weeks with Eddie. When you finally told Aron about him, she was livid. How could you not tell your best friend about a really hot guy you’d been seeing who wasn’t an asshole? 

“He’s just so good,” you said with a content smile, throwing your head back on the bed like a girl in a 2000s romantic comedy. “I can’t believe I got this lucky.”

“Yeah, I’d feel lucky too if I had a guy playing guitar for me and tasted like cinnamon and beauty and stuff.”

Your smile widened, the phantom touch of his lips already having imprinted itself on your mouth. “He’s just so nice. And I feel like he gets me, you know? He sees me for me, not for my body or whatever. Plus, we have the same taste in music and movies and…” A soft sigh left your lips as you shrugged. “He just makes me happy, I don’t know.”

Aron leaned over, smiling down at you. The beads at the end of her long braids clinked together as she shook her head at you. “Well, I’m very happy this Eddie is making my best friend all gooey and soft for once.”

You rolled your eyes but you both knew you really appreciated the affirmation. Sometimes you needed that extra assurance, Aron’s opinion being maybe the most important to you—besides your own. When you’d met her at that dreaded Halloween party, all tattered clothes and broken sobs, Aron was quick to help you. Without questions, without judgment. A stranger helping a stranger before becoming best friends within a week.

Before you could get lost in the cold memory, Aron clapped her hands and gasped.

“You should invite him to the party!”

You sat up, furiously nodding. “Oh my God, yes! I completely forgot.”

“It’ll be fun.” You nodded, watching as her nose began to crinkle. “Unless you sneak off to go make out or something.”

Your apologetic smile that turned a little too exaggerated made her groan.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” you said, feigning a sensual tone as you made kissy noises and reached out to tickle her.

She hit you with the octopus (that poor octopus), causing you both to laugh. “You tell me about every fucking kiss, bitch.”

Grabbing it from her, you smirked and said, “And you love hearing about it.”

Aron shrugged. “True. I’m too nosey for my own good.”

“And I’m too honest,” you added, giving her a high-five.

“So, the party?”

You hadn’t felt this way since you were fourteen, running around the football field late at night with Trent Summers, lost in the throes of an unrequited crush. Lost in an all-American fantasy of dating a boy on the football team when you hadn’t even made the cheer squad. Getting your heart broken after he told you he had a girlfriend. You ended your friendship right then and there—resulting in you throwing a football at his face.

Mary Winston had been next, all braces and crooked smiles. Sweet sixteens and discovered identities. You’d met in the art room during lunch, fawning over some TV show before realizing that there was something more there. It didn’t last long, but you swore you’d love her till the day you died. And if anyone had access to your tear-stained diary, they’d know it was very dramatic. Very dramatic.

(Come to think of it, you’d felt something bubbly inside you for Eliza Roseheart in preschool. Playing “husband and wife” and pecking each other on the lips shouldn’t have been as fun as it was.)

Now there was Eddie Munson, the guy who walked you to class and got you coffee just because. At night, you hopped in his van and went on drives. An hour and a half of scream-singing that always ended up with feverish make out sessions by the dock of a lake, the windows fogging up despite the humid heat just beyond those doors. Gnashing teeth as you both giggled your way through can we play 20 Questions? and can I tell you another secret? in between kisses. Helping him down from orgasms after some whispers and heavy, heavy petting, caressing his face in your hands as you told him how good of a job he did. Tracing the lines of his face as you teetered in and out of sleep. Feeling his lips on your forehead as he helped you back into your dorm.

You were never one to believe in good luck. After years of being thrown to the wolves and caged inside a dungeon you built yourself, this nerdy little goofball had coaxed you away from the bars. Led you from a state of hidden solitude, only to welcome you with warm sun and sweaty palms.

All you knew now was that you wanted him. Always.

“We’ll be there.”

Eddie felt naked without his jacket.

As a matter of fact, he felt a bit out of character. A dark, dark purple Black Sabbath tee was paired with his regular black jeans, combat boots, and wallet chain. The same rings and bracelets.

But his jacket. He knew he’d have to leave it with this weather. Smelling bad wasn’t an option tonight, especially meeting your best friend. The less he fucked up his appearance, the less he had to worry about fucking up in general.

So he hung up his favorite boy and left his dorm with bare arms. Followed his heart all the way to your dorm.

Had your roommate greet him, a giggle escaping her lips as soon as she saw him. Aron, as he learned, was quick to pull him into conversation as you finished up getting ready. Though you called down the hallway to them, he still couldn’t calm his anxiety.

Meeting new people didn’t bode well for him.

And yet he was proven wrong—their conversation was as easy as breathing, exchanging thoughts on their favorite video games and how legendary Black Sabbath was.

“Oh, I like you,” she said at one point and laughed at the blush rising to his cheeks. “I’m glad you already know that’s a compliment of the highest degree.”

He’d thought he got his groove back. He really did. But then he heard your heels echoing through the hallway and looked over at your figure coming closer. Eddie immediately shot up out of his seat at the sight of you.

Your dress was one he hadn’t seen before, a satin black spaghetti-strapped dress that hugged your curves just right. A patch at the bottom showed a red rose, circled by a silver snake. Black heels and an array of rings. No necklace, no earrings. Smokey-eyed and gloss-lipped.

“Fucking hell.”

Both girls broke out into laughter.

He wanted to hit himself. Could he once, just once, keep his mouth shut?

“Sorry,” he added.

You shook your head, stepping closer. “Don’t be. I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received, so thank you.”

Eddie nearly missed Aron skipping off to her room when you pulled him into a hug. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, letting his arms wrap around your back. Even after all these weeks, he found that he could never get used to your embrace. Your skin against his, the fizzle of something electric jumping between your bodies.

“You look amazing, by the way,” you whispered in his ear before pulling back. He was pretty sure your smile was just as goofy as his. “I love your shirt.”

“Thought you might,” he responded with a small laugh. He leaned in to kiss your cheek, but stopped himself. “Sorry.”

Your smile faltered as confusion flooded your face. “For what?”

Before he could apologize again, Aron was skipping back into the room and clapping her hands together.

“Alright, let’s boogey.”

You were quick to settle into the party, the three of you standing in one corner or another, laughing over really anything you could think of. Aron was sure to point out everyone who was cool and everyone who was not, giving Eddie a crash course in the party scene that always felt a little too high school for your taste. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to bother with that stuff which you liked. There was nothing worse than watching someone lose themselves in fair-weather friends.

Two drinks in, Aron left to go find some other friends of hers, reiterating that they were part of the Cool Crowd. It left you and Eddie to your own devices, with your exaggerated bantering and light shoves. Touches that felt like electric shocks, the voltage only increasing with each jab. At some point, you had to wonder if that’s why you both kept doing it.

Then, in the middle of threatening to tickle him, you heard the starting sounds of a Bad Bunny song you liked. Leaning your head back, you let out a satisfied “Yes!”, watching as people quickly gathered near the speakers.

Eddie looked at you, confused.

You merely chuckled, taking his hand and leading him over to the small crowd.

“Let’s dance!”

Your hand grasped his over your shoulder, just like that night you met. It was a feeling like no other, Eddie’s heart hammering in his chest. And, God, he really couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

He was happy. He was having fun.

“I don’t know how to dance to this kind of music!” he admitted loudly, a smile still plastered on his lips.

But you were far from deterred. “Just follow my lead, pretty boy.”

And just like that, you were turning around and tugging his hands forward until they met your waist. Let yourself lean back on him, grinding your hips as they swayed back and forth.

Effortless. That’s the best way he could describe the way you moved, the way you never missed a beat. The bass pumped and vibrated through Eddie’s limbs, but you seemed to be one with the music.

Dancing wasn’t something unheard of when it came to Eddie. If he was listening to music, chances were that he was shimmying his shoulders or head banging. In a mosh pit, he let himself get jostled around, bopping along to the sound. He may not have had hips like Jagger, but he knew how to move them at least.

However, this was new territory, having a girl, having you in front of him, waiting for him to move. And if he was supposed to move, then god dammit, he was going to move.

Eddie took a deep breath before the beat slowed down. Letting his wired thoughts fade into a soft buzz, doing what he felt was right. Like pulling you tight against his chest and moving his hips at the same time as yours. Pushing himself against your ass, a harsh breath leaving his nose at the friction.

Sighing, you let your head fall back on his shoulder, a content smile lifting onto your lips. Raised your hands, wrapping them around his neck the best you could, rhythm never lost on you.

And it would be just so easy to…

But would you be okay with…

Fuck it.

Shaking his head, he leaned down and began to kiss your neck. Your next sigh was what officially turned him on, pushing him further into your heat wave. Licked a stripe up your neck and tugged on your earlobe with his teeth.

Eddie couldn’t help the thought, the impulse creeping up in this crowded house party to move his fingers just a bit lower, to skirt the hem of your dress that was riding up with each swirl of your hips. He wanted you, cock straining against his jeans in near agony, continuing to litter your neck with love bites as if you were alone.

And just before he could get a little more bold, you were taking his trigger-finger hand and placing it on your thigh, so close to what he could call the inner thigh.

“Is that okay?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He nodded. “Was already headed there, sweetheart. You beat me to it.”

“I took an earlier flight,” you joked.

A breathy chuckle left his lips. “That’s okay. That’s not my last stop anyways.”

Your thigh was soft, full, easy enough to squeeze. So he did, eliciting a high-pitched sigh from you.

A proud smile met your face. So you liked when he took the upper hand.

And, God, if you kept looking at him like that, he was going to start fingering you in front of every fucking person here. Maybe he would. No one was looking at you both, right? He could do it. Just a little bit. Just…just a little bit.

His fingers twitched, raising higher and higher and—

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” a voice said, snapping you out of this moment. You both looked over to see Aron approaching, taking hold of one of your wrists. “But I gotta steal her for a second.”

“Aron!” you exclaimed, holding onto Eddie’s hand as long as you could before Aron dragged you away. Sorry, you mouthed at him before turning back.

You couldn’t help your face growing hot at the feeling of your wetness still sticking to your inner thighs as you parted them.

She didn’t pull you far, but you couldn’t help how pissed you felt. Granted, you weren’t really pissed at her but something was about to happen and you’d been more than happy to just let it.

Eddie was finally taking the upper hand, doing what he wanted. Not just going along with what you told him to do. There was no blind faith or overthought. No, he was showing—initiating. It was euphoric. It was nearly orgasmic…

“What’s going on?” you asked, smoothing out the hem of your dress. And as you stood there fixing yourself, you felt Aron step closer to you.

“Listen, Sam is walking around, drunk as fuck—”

“Big shock there,” you commented, crossing your arms over your chest.

Aron let out a snort. “Yeah, literally. Anyways, he’s talking about how easy you are in bed and keeps telling everyone you’re here with Eddie to make him jealous.”

Sam Covington had been a problem for…a while. Maybe since last summer, when you were…friendly with some of the frat guys’ girlfriends. Got invited out one night and Sam was there, always staring at you from any corner of the room or finding excuses to talk to you. It was fucking creepy.

It was one of those things that sent chills down your spine, the fear for your safety growing with each glance. That voice that made you want to run and hide. The touch that had you wondering if you’d remembered to grab your pepper spray and whistle.

Usually, you were able to stand your ground and hurl insults he couldn’t fathom hearing from a woman. Even the last party you’d seen him at, the one where you had met Eddie…

But it didn’t mean that you felt any more secure.

“Him? Ha!” You exaggerated your tone, trying to keep your voice from shaking. Waved your hand around, desperate to stay calm. “What a fucking joke. He wishes.”

Eddie’s blood ran cold at your mocking tone, taken aback by your blatant degradation. Like a mask had been removed, revealing a forked tongue and razor sharp teeth.

He’d seen your expression, your shoulders turning inward, like you were uncomfortable. He decided to walk over and, sure, it was probably rude. He knew that. However, he couldn’t stand to see you upset. He needed to know what was going on, pulled to you with some tether that he couldn’t explain.

But he regretted it immediately.

Aron chuckled. “If that ain’t the truth, girl.”

“He’s such a fucking loser, I swear. Can’t catch a fucking hint.”

Eddie once thought he’d let go of the anger he once held in high school. The defiant boy that was once riddled with so much frustration at the cruel hand he’d been dealt. The one that jumped up on lunch tables and screamed at whoever would listen. He thought he’d given up on holding onto the bitterness of verbal sucker punches and bruised ribs.

But it was creeping back up, that violent shaking that ran along his arms. The torment of those five brutal years of high school tingling in his fingertips as you continued to desaturate the vibrancy of a man he thought he was becoming.

“Like, why does he have to be so obsessed with you?”

You shrugged and his eyes caught the tail end of your eye roll. “Because he’s so fucking desperate for someone to fuck him. That’s why.”

And before he could stop his head from going there, he was back in that blistering July. The fear of being used goods clutching at his throat as he struggled to speak, struggled to find an escape. 

“Pathetic,” you stated, voice thick with disgust.

That scorching July. Fingers trembling on the doorknob, his sweaty palm slicking it in sweat. Slipping. 

No escape, no escape.

He needed to get out. There was no thought, just action. So, he turned and started stalking towards the front door. Voices in his head spoke over one another, flooding his brain.

Freak. Loser. Dirty. Good for nothing. Desperate. Trailer park trash.

Pathetic.

“Eddie?” he heard behind him, the sound of his name on your lips like a beckoning call, serenading him with its delicacy. 

If he didn’t have a shred of dignity left, he would’ve turned around and come running. But he didn't, instead making a run for the side of the house. Maybe if he hid, he didn’t have to face your humiliation.

And, like he said, he didn’t have to run back…because you were already catching up with him, stopping him in his tracks as you stepped in front of him. How you did that in six inch heels was fucking beyond him.

Placing a hand on his chest, you asked, “What’s wrong?” As your eyes scanned his face, you added, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

But he knew better. 

He did, didn’t he?

“Are you using me?”

You paused, flinching away from his chest as if you’d been burned. “Excuse me?”

“Like…” Eddie started, trying to take a deep breath to keep himself level. But he was starting to falter, all shaky and desperate for you to get it the fuck over with. “Like, if we even fuck, is that it? Will the chase be over for you?”

Your face began to harden, something resembling fury clouding your features. “How fucking dare you think I’d do something like that.”

“It’s just a question!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, and I don’t appreciate you acting like I’m engaging in this relationship just to fuck you and leave.” 

His eyebrows furrowed as his nostrils flared with frustration, both of you holding mirrored expressions. But yours softened first, the edges of your snarl quivering. Shaking your head, you took another step back.

“I like you, Eddie. Okay? I’ve liked you since that first night. We’ve been on, like, three dates now? And I introduced you to my best friend, for Christ’s sake. You make me laugh but you make me so fucking soft, it drives me insane. And those late night drives make these stupid midterms worth it.”

“Oh.”

“Did I really have to spell it out?” Eddie didn’t say anything. “I mean, geez. I thought I’ve been an open book this whole time. I’ve spent practically every day with you. Every night, even. Like, why would I want to be with anyone else? And did you really need me to reiterate all of that?”

“But you told your friend that I’m—”

“What?!” you exclaimed before shaking your head. “No, that was about this frat guy, Sam. He’s been creeping on me again and is spreading fucking rumors and I am getting literally so sick and tired of it.”

The dissipated anger began to creep back up at the thought of some douchebag stalking you. Who the fuck was Sam to not take a fucking hint? And why was it becoming so increasingly hard not to run back into that party and beat the shit out of him?

“A guy’s been creeping on you? Since when?”

You sighed. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.”

Eddie held up a hand. “Now, hang on. I am going to worry about that, because that’s not nothing.”

“I agree, but that’s a later conversation,” you said, pushing his hand down and shaking your head. “Get to the part where you tell me why you think I’d ever say that about you.”

Eddie was the one to sigh now, pissed that you had to move on but ultimately needed to confess. “I just never thought you’d actually be into me.”

“Why?” you nearly yelled.

“I’m just a fr—”

“Ew! If you say ‘freak’, I’m legally obligated to rip your eyes straight out of your skull.”

A breath escaped his nose as he closed his eyes and tried again. “You just…you’ve dated more people than I have.”

“Based off of what?”

His eyes flew open. “What?” he asked, unsure what you meant.

“You haven’t even bothered to ask me how many people I’ve dated—or fucked, for that matter.” Eddie’s eyes widened. “I’ve had one relationship. One.”

“Really?” he whispered.

You let out a laugh that didn’t match your exhausted expression. “Yeah, for a week until she got nervous about her parents finding out and dumped me. I was sixteen.” Furrowed eyebrows returned to your face as you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned towards him dramatically. “What about that, huh? How many people have you dated, Eddie?”

Two. The number was thick in his throat, his verbalization swallowed by your question being, well, rhetorical.

You paused, turning your face away from the light. But he caught your pointer finger flying up to dab your lower lash line. “Like, I’ve had sex, sure. But it’s not like I ask all those guys to fucking harass me. I honestly don’t know how that became a thing here. Like, I’m just here. I’m just trying to have fun.”

The guilt was starting to settle in his chest. “I should’ve caught that.”

“I thought you understood me,” you said before letting out a high-pitched sound of disbelief, lifting your hands and letting them fall at your sides with a loud thwack. “Like, I’m not a slut or a whore or whatever they want to say despite it being the twenty-first fucking century! And I can’t even be with you without some guy trying to—”

He heard it before he saw it. A scoff that shifted into a sob as you crouched down to your knees, only hovering above the ground by your tall heels. 

Eddie had never seen you cry, had never seen the façade so easily broken. This girl he once thought untouchable, invincible, cracking before his eyes.

Looking back to all of those moments, those numerous instances of harassment, how quick you were to send them a message. How easily it came to you, to throw your verbal and physical punches like it was nothing. Like it was a normal thing.

He’d gotten so caught up in how badass you were that he didn’t stop to think about how you felt about it. Or why it came so easily to you.

He crouched down, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I’m really sorry. That was really shitty of me.”

He felt you lean into his hand, glad that you weren’t rejecting him. It was lame, but he didn’t think he could handle your rejection right now. Especially when you were in this state. Especially when he was the reason why.

Turning to glance at him through your tears, you said, “Eddie, that really hurt my feelings.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed,” he said truthfully. “If it means anything, I didn’t think you were a, um, slut or whatever. I just thought maybe you didn’t want me the same way.”

You nodded, sniffling while wiping the snot away from your nose. Never once did you pull away from his touch or grow cold. “Yeah, I get that.” You paused, your eye contact starting to burn him. “I’ve never done any of the shit we’ve done with other people. I’ve only felt that comfortable with you.”

“But you’re just…” he trailed before sighing and closing his eyes. “You’re just so good at it.”

When he heard a loud laugh leaving your lips, his eyes flew open, grateful to see a smile on your face. The laugh turned into a fit of snorts, leaving him to laugh at just how adorable you were.

“Yeah, thanks,” you teased, the familiar tone giving him the ability to breathe again. “It’s a litany of porn, smut, and—” You moved your hands up to mimic the shape of a rainbow. “Imaginaaation.”

The reference got Eddie laughing again, nodding along as he replied, “You could’ve told me you’re a dominatrix on the side and, like, I would’ve believed you. Scout’s honor.”

“Good to know,” you joked.

Eddie stood back up then, shaking his head as he reached a hand out to you. “I’m an asshole.”

You lifted an eyebrow, slowly shaking your head back at him before taking his hand. “You’re more special than you think you are.”

He lifted you up, grasping your palm in his as he brought you closer to him. Your joined hands rested against his heart, faces inches apart. 

There you were, your eyes fully in view now. Watery, with makeup creasing along your waterline and smudged mascara littering your cheeks. Despite the quiet pain it caused him, he was grateful to get a glimpse at your beauty again, your attention still gutting him over and over again.

If he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn he could feel his guts spilling onto the concrete. And when he drew closer, it was made even worse as he felt your heart rate increase in real time.

And, god dammit, he couldn’t help himself. Eddie closed the gap and kissed you. Gently, tentatively. Let himself linger just long enough to inhale your breath before pulling back.

“My god, you’re precious,” he whispered, heart clenching with every feature you softened—the mask slipping. His eyes fell upon your lips, slightly ajar in shock.  

“Yeah?” you whispered, breath hitching when he lightly pushed you against the wall. 

Eddie’s nose skimmed your cheek, desperate to breathe in your perfume. One last whiff. He swore it. Just one more.

Just one more.

“Mm-hm,” he hummed, inhaling your scent again.

It was the last time. Promise. 

“Tell me again,” you pleaded.

He pulled back, catching the clenching of your thighs in his peripheral. A dangerous smile grazed his lips as he gave you what you wanted. 

“You’re precious.”

You nodded repeatedly, doe-eyed as you begged, “Again.”

“You’re precious,” he said, hushed as his lips hovered above yours.

“Please,” you whimpered, legs squirming against his. But he pushed you further into the wall, your connected hands halting your movement. He could feel your heart racing furiously. “One more time.”

“You’re precious, baby.”

Before you could lunge at him, he was a step ahead of you, crushing your lips with his. Released your hand, quick to cup your face as you floundered to find somewhere to put your hands. Taking a page out of your book, he grabbed your wrists and placed them on his shoulders.

A sigh left your lips at the movement, nodding your head as you pushed your tongue into his mouth. What you were nodding about, he had no idea. He didn’t have the ability to have thoughts about anything anymore. 

All he could think was more, more, more.

All he could feel was you.

He couldn’t help himself when he slotted his thigh between yours, earning a deafening moan that made him harder than he already was. You’d moaned, sure. He’d heard you do it plenty of times when you made out. But he was suddenly struck with how different your positions were now. And how he was the reason for it. 

The thought drove him closer to the edge, roughly grabbing at your cheek with one hand while the other slid down your thigh, snaking around your knee and jerking your leg up to his hip. Your gasp made him even crazier, unable to help it when he pushed his thigh further against your core. Another wild whimper, this time with an edge of impatience.

“This okay?” he asked.

You nodded furiously. “Yes. Yes.”

If Eddie had the confidence, he’d take you against this house right now. He’d slide into you with ease, Fucking those little sounds out of you, the ones he dreamed about at night. The ones that would mirror the way you sounded right now, only intensified and louder. 

And yet it was enough to hear your now quiet desperation, to feel your thighs clench around his leg, your soaking pussy dripping through your panties and staining his jeans with ease.

“Jesus, you’re soaked.”

You nodded furiously, seemingly unable to speak as you gasped and chased his lips again. Ground your pussy against his leg. Impatient, hungry.

He couldn’t help but feel greedy, draping himself around you.

Let there be witnesses. Let the whole house hear him, he didn’t care. But those noises, your noises, belonged solely to him. Swallowed by his mouth, muffled by his body shielding yours. The vibrations pulsed through his cheeks and he couldn’t help but let out a low groan.

He noticed you continuing to chase the friction, rubbing yourself along the denim over and over, his jeans being ruined with every rut of your hips. If Eddie hadn’t been drunk off of you before, he was deliriously faded now. Because you were still going, no words leaving your mouth. Just whimpers and moans.

He wanted to say something, wanted to beg you to keep going. But he stayed quiet, knowing that you’d probably stop, keeping yourself from the pleasure he was witnessing. You looked like a goddess, eyes rolling back and, dear god, he needed to mark your neck again. He dipped his head down and began nipping at your skin again, frenzied at the reaction it pulled out of you.

The hitch in your breath caught his attention, moving his face from your neck to see your head thrown back. Your heaving chest was the indicator, the slow build of something beginning inside you. 

“Do it,” he whispered. “Come for me.”

Without any warning, he felt your legs tremble before your cum seeped into his jeans. A cry left your lips as your breath continued at a rapid pace, sweat dripping down your neck. Eddie was quick to lick it up, trying hard not to get on his knees and lap up what was left from the source.

(He was just glad he had enough restraint to resist begging for your underwear to keep for later.)

(The one time he’s able to keep his mouth shut.)

One last whimper left your lips as you came down, chasing the last of your high on his leg before he moved it out of the way. Left a gentle kiss on your forehead before he heard you sniffle.

“S-sorry,” you breathed, tightly squeezing your eyes shut. He came back to the present, leaning back as he watched your face crumble. “Sorry.”

Eddie took your chin between his fingers. “Hey, open your eyes. Look at me.”

At first, you only opened one, like you were testing the waters. He chuckled, earning access to your other eye. “There she is,” he murmured, pecking your nose. “Why’re you apologizing?”

“‘Cause I didn’t ask you if it was okay if I did that.” Tears brimmed in your eyes as you pushed his fingers away, covering your mouth with your hand. Shook your head as you added, “I didn’t ask. I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

“Baby, I would’ve stopped you.” He moved your hand away, lightly stroking your cheek as he continued. “I was honestly scared you would stop.”

Your head cocked towards his, glassy eyes turned clear again. “Why?”

“‘Cause then I wouldn’t have gotten to make you cum.”

A bashful expression immediately fell over your features, shoulders caving inwards as you bit your lip. You tapped your heels against the concrete, one by one, all jittery and shy. It was cute.

“Yeah, I didn’t plan on that, either,” you said. “But you just…”

“Hm?”

You shrugged, sighing. “You kinda fucked with my head.”

“Does that mean I get to finally fuck you?”

Tapping at your cheek, you looked away in feigned contemplation before shaking your head. “Nope. I think I’ll make you work harder to get to see it.”

“Nah, I could prove it right now,” he insisted, getting down on both knees.

You became flustered, looking at your surroundings before back down at him. “Eddie, no.”

He put his hands in a praying position and tried to puppy-dog eye you. “Trust me, I can make you do that, like, five more times right now.”

“Eddie—”

“And that’s just with my tongue.”

“Oh my God. Get up,” you said with a laugh, tugging him to stand back up. “We’re not doing this in public.”

Eddie snorted, a goofy smile meeting his lips. “Well, technically we already—”

“There you guys are!” 

Aron’s voice snapped you both out of your delirium, bringing you back to where you were.

“Oh, ew!” she nearly screeched, eyes wide as she stared at Eddie’s jeans. “We’re in public, guys. Come on.” 

When you both looked down, you saw your cum glistening across his jeans. 

“I’m sorry!” you said at the same time Eddie said, “I’m not sorry!”

You immediately gawked at him and he couldn’t have enjoyed any reaction more. His smirk said it all, earning a quick whack to his shoulder. 

“You’re both so horny on main. I’m never letting you out of my sight at a party ever again.”

thank yew for the divider @strangergraphics

[mistydeyes]

smth abt your recent 141 post gave me a thought.

somebody need to get these boys into a club, flashing lights, music and dancing, fun drinks and flashy y2k reader who’s lowkey an absolute party animal?? or an ex party animal, teehee anyways,,

imagine how fun it’d be dragging johnny onto the dance floor, drunkenly screaming that “this is my FAVORITE song!!”

i just see fics of them at bars and i just need to see them up in a club😫😫

thank you so much for requesting! i LOVE drunken club energy so much (something about going to a club and drinking a weak rum and coke on a thirsty thursday really does it for me). this totally fit the vibe of a previous request so please enjoy a little cameo of the best 2000s aesthetic character, Storm!

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summary: The 141 decides to allow you to pick the place for some drinks while on leave. You take the opportunity to get absolutely hammered and sing your heart out to some 2000s hits.

pairing: Taskforce 141 x reader (codename: Storm)

warnings: swearing

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"I thought they said we were going for drinks," Gaz shouted to Ghost over the loud 2000s dance music that blared on the dance floor. Gaz had found his way back to Price and Ghost after you had dragged him to the beats of Low by Flo Rida. After the chorus, you and your low-rise jeans and Harley Davis tiny top had disappeared with Soap in hand. He figured you would emerge eventually as he took a large gulp of his beer that appeared to be hot pink underneath the neon lights. "I am never letting Storm pick again," Ghost said and Gaz strained to hear him. But by the look of how drunk he was getting over the sugary drinks, it was clear Ghost was trying to make the most out of the experience.

"Here they come," Price yelled, almost as if he was delivering a warning, as you emerged from the crowd. Sweat coated your face and perfectly complicated the loose glitter from your makeup and the mingling crowd. Soap followed close behind, somehow losing his shirt after the three-minute song. "What happened out there?" Simon couldn't help but ask as you and Soap chugged the remainder of your dirty shirleys. "Met some Scousers," Soap breathlessly answered, "shirt went with 'em." The group laughed loudly as Soap fanned his sweating torso. "How'd you find this place, Storm?" Gaz asked, leaning forward closer to the group. "Went here a lot in sixth form and the summer before enlisting," you answered. You remembered the long nights and the hoarse voices you left with. You also remembered the paracetamol and glass of water affectionately left on your bedside table.

You continued to exchange wild stories about your drunken adventures including the time you threw up in someone's designer Juicy Couture bag. "And you still party like a teenager," Price couldn't help but tease as you threw your head back in laughter. "Don't see you complaining about all the compliments you've been getting, Captain," you quipped back. Almost on schedule, a young woman passed by the Captain and sent an air kiss his way with her glossed lips. You held your drink in the air and shared a toast with the group as you celebrated the woman's flirtations. Before Price could respond back, you could hear the beginning of your favorite early 2000s hits.

You jumped up, sloshing the drinks on the small metallic table. "Oh my god," you screamed, "this is my favorite song!" Unfortunately for Price and Soap, they were the nearest to you and your hands immediately began tugging them to the dance floor. Your sneakers squeaked against the floor as Soap relented but Price remained firmly in place. "I'm too old for this," Price said as he shook his head in dismay. "Whatever," you rolled your eyes, letting him fall back onto the plush couch, "but the next time there's a Britney song, I better see your boonie hat on the floor."

[dear-slim]

pumpkin spice - m.m

Warnings: Smut, 18+, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), spicy spicy sex 🤭, multiple orgasms, hot hot hot, voyeurism

Pairing: Eminem x fem!reader

A/N - spoky 🎃👻 (yes, I’ve quite literally copy and pasted this from my main blog, don’t come at me, Idc. This is set in the modern day but with 2000s eminem coz I can’t be bothered to change the plot, sorry not sorry.

also if it says ‘lando/lan’ anyways, it’s meant to be em, I literally copy and pasted it from my other blog smh

 “A couple’s outfit would be cute,” you said, scrolling through your Pinterest feed, a few cute outfits of Mario and Princess Peach, as well as Disney themed ones. “I wasn’t exactly intending to go for ‘cute’,” Em said, sitting beside you.

He was in some random black hoodie of his, the hood pulled over his curls as he watched you scroll on your laptop. “Then what?” you gave him a huff, your lip pushed out in a pout. “I was thinking something along the lines of hot,” he mused with a shrug, taking a sip of his pumpkin spice latte.

“Men should apologise to women for saying this is bad,” Em hummed, lifting the cup to your lips as you took a sip. “I agree,” you said, letting him take control of the keyboard, holding the warm cup in your hands as he searched for an outfit. “Call it cliche, but I’d look hot as the Joker,”.

“…I’m gonna call it cliche,”.

But finally, after a whole week of him persuading you not to dress up as Jasmine and Aladdin, you settled on being the Harley Quinn to his Joker. The Halloween party was fire, some friends dressed in outfits, ranging from extreme to merely some makeup.

Em himself had scrunched his hair with green dye that he could wash out the next day, face smeared with white paint, his lips stained with red colour, in the classic joker suit. And fucking hell, he looked really hot.

“What are you doing??” you hissed as you felt his hand on your waist, guiding you away from the dim, purplish-blue lights, his face illuminated with streaks of pink light shedding on his perfect features. “You look so hot,” he mumbled, taking in your shirt and little skirt.

“So do you,” you said, your boots clicking as he pulled you into the bathroom, shutting the door. “We’re not doing a bathroom fuck,” you huffed as he rolled his eyes. “I never said I was planning on it,” he pointed out as you let out an amused giggle.

“Your body language implied it. Heavily,” you said with a scrunch of your nose as he gave your sides teasing squeeze. “My body language says just you fucking wait til we go home,” he hissed into your ear, the sudden shift between playing and lust evident as your breath hitched.

Yet, before a word could be spoken, he left. God, Marshall Mathers was nothing short of a little damn tease. And he knew it so fucking well, sometimes you just wanted to…you didn’t even know. But thanks to him, you couldn’t party and jump anymore, your thighs squeezed together with heat.

“Em,” you said, reluctantly grabbing your boyfriend’s wrist as he turned to you, one of his hands clasping a red plastic cup, “can we go now?”. He cocked his head, a smirk threatening to jump to his features. “Home?” he said, voice almost mocking.

“Oh but baby,” he said, the pet name almost tantalising and hitting straight to your core, “I’m not done partying,”. This little shit!? “Em,” you hissed, a little annoyed at his teasing as he mimicked your half-pout. He pulled you close to him, your hips swaying in time with the music as he held your hips…or rather, your thighs.

He knew fully one his hands were almost under your skirt, as he dragged his fingers down to toy with your wet core, your panties warm with your heat, legs throbbing and desperate. “Em, we’re in public,” you said, eyes wide as he circled your clit through your panties.

“I know that,” he said, rolling his eyes, “just wanna feel how wet my girl is,”. You whined, trying your hardest not to grind down on his hand as he clucked his tongue. “Needy thing,” he said, “go to the bathroom,”. At his words, your eyes lit up, was he gonna give you what you wanted?

Nope.

Marshall Mathers, the man that he is. “Hey baby,” he said, digging his hands into his pockets as he walked in. You had positioned yourself sitting on the sink already, ready for him…your eyes travelling over his costume and how good his hair looked, scrunched in the green dye, a smirk on his handsome face.

“Got a little thing for you,” he thrusted a small device into your hands as you whined again. “Enjoy!” he called into the door before leaving. Little shit. You huffed, lifting one leg onto the sink and sliding the toy inside of you, a small moan on your lips. It didn’t make up the size of Em, but it’d work.

“Where’s the..?” you trailed off, frowning as you searched for the remote. Only for a sharp pulse to shoot into your core, your eyes rolling as you clung to the sink, the toy vibrating against your core. “You good, girl?” some other girl walked in, raising a brow to you as you nodded.

“Y-Yeah,” you breathed, forcing a smile to your face, “just had too much to drink is’all,” you said, words slurring a bit. The girls gave you a bit of a weird look as you left but you didn’t care, far too caught up in the fact that Em had the damn remote and was teasing the unholy fuck out of you.

“Em,” you whined, hands gripping onto his shoulders as he swayed your body, and you desperately tried to keep your face natural. “Too much f’you?” he smirked, “this isn’t what you wanted?”. God, did he always have to be a tease. “Shame, don’t wanna go trick or treating now, do you?”.

“Em, I swear to god, I’ll-,” you growled, only to be cut off by your own yelp as you buried your face into his neck, feeling the sharp intensity of the vibrator as he turned it up. “What you’re gonna do is you’re gonna shut your little mouth for now,” he said, “and you can open it when I want you to suck my dick,”.

“You’re not in the place to argue with me,” he added more firmly as you huffed but kept your mouth closed. You’d be damned than to go a Halloween night without his cock to ravage you. “Wanna nail you so bad,” he said, voice dropping to a huskier level, “but you’re gonna earn it by being quiet,”.

You nodded, body shuddering with need but said nothing, as he went back to swaying on the spot, taking a sip from his red cup. “This isn’t mine,” he said, his voice quiet in your ear, putting the cup down and taking another. “Em, please,” you whined, your legs quivering, “can we go home?”.

He rolled his eyes once again, his hand holding onto your forearm to support you as you squeezed your thighs together, the feeling of the toy against your sensitive skin sending your body in little shock waves. He clicked his tongue but took you out anyways, walking to the car.

“Can’t believe you made me leave the party,” he said with a sigh, which was very much fake. Both of you knew he’d rather be nailing you right now. You huffed, a pout on your lips, which only turned to a shriek as he turned the vibrator to the maximum. “Em! Don’t d-do it that h-high!” you tried to fumble for the remote, which he held out of your reach.

“I’m g-gonna c-cum before we’re e-even home!” you tried to argue as he thrust the remote into the backseat somewhere. “Good,” he said, “I need you all wet f’me when we’re home, I don’t have time to finger you,”. Admittedly, it was a hot idea, but all you could focus on was the moans of pleasure as your orgasm flooded through.

The psycho Joker costume really did fit him, then. You managed to stumble inside as he smirked, lifting you up easily, tossing the vibrator into some corner, as he dropped you on the bed, your body bouncing. It was evident you were a little exhausted, but nowhere near tired enough for you not to get on your hands and knees immediately.

“Well will you look at that,” he mused, “someone’s needy,”. But, instead of his tip pressing to your clit, your back arched and you moaned as his tongue came in contact with your sensitive bundle of nerves, replaced by his nose as he licked through your folds, his nose rubbing at your clit.

“Em, oh my-,” you cut yourself off with a moan as your body threatened to collapse, only stopped by his wrapping an arm round your waist to steady you as he pushed himself further between your folds, his tongue licking further through your sensitive skin, circling your entrance as he pushed inside of you.

You gasped again, subconsciously pushing yourself closer to him, his tongue swirling round inside of you collecting your juices as his lips coated in the stuff, his hand reaching for undo the top of your outfit. Sure, maybe this wasn’t a ghostface sort of thing, but it was alright, wasn’t it?

A gasp of half indignance and a whine left your lips as he moved away from you, straightening up. “Em,” you whispered, maybe he would give you what you wanted? He turned a blind eye to it, ignoring you as he watched a spider climb over the wall. “Em!” you whined again.

There was no way on Halloween night that he was going to leave you with your fingers, right? “Beg for it,” he said simply, another huff leaving your lips, “without the attitude,” he pinched your chin between his fingers harshly as you nodded. “Em,” you whined, your voice trying to convince.

“Can you go down on me? Please?” you begged as he hummed. “Could do,” he said with a shrug, making you more and more frustrated. “Em!” you started again, “please, I need you so bad, feel how wet I am,” you traced his finger through your folds. That was enough for him.

“Sit on my face,” he said, your eyes widening. You’d never done that before, but you needed him so mad, no matter what form he came in as he laid on the bed, his hands holding your thighs as you lowered down.

“All the way,” he tutted, pulling on your thighs as your clit made contact with his nose, his tongue pushed deep inside of you, reaching for the spot that made you scream his name, your hands bunching in his hair, your nails digging into his neck.

You knew he was okay with it, his eyes shimmering from beneath you as his lips moved under your folds, his tongue sliding in and out of you, as you slowly moved your hips. “That’s it,” he cooed, his voice deep and muffled beneath you as he coaxed you to ride his face, his nose buried in your clit.

You could feel yet another orgasm building inside of your stomach, quicker this time, almost like the last one had prompted off a domino effect, your eyes rolling as Em gave you full control, his tongue out, your core dripping with need and want. His hands reached up to your with your tits, slowly cupping them, teasing at the nipples with his thumbs as you moaned.

“Oh fuck, Em, right there,” you gasped, finding that point that made your toes curl, your eyes rolling back at the feeling. You looked over your shoulder, the growing bulge in his pants growing by the second as you turned around, reaching your hand under his belt, taking his heavy, thick cock in your palm.

His gasp went straight to your core, your hips grinding down, his nose and lips coated in your juices, slick and easy to move across him as you spread the precum leaking for, his tip across his length, tracing the vein along the underside of his cock with your free hand, all whilst moving across his face.

Your thighs squeezed round his head, your clit throbbing as your orgasm pushed through, your body limp and weak, hand movement across his rock-hard cock slowing down and becoming sloppier and sloppier. He sat up, holding you on his lap as you pumped his cock, moving your core along his bare thighs. God how needy could you be?

You’d teased him earlier, now he’d get his payback. You watched with narrowed eyes as he licked his fingers, your juices collected on his lips as he cleaned it off with his tongue. “I’m not here to just please you,” he said, moving his hips as if to say ‘I have needs too’. You might’ve sounded selfish, but you were desperate.

With a huff, you moved onto your knees, opening your mouth as he tutted. “Really? That’s all? You know that won’t fit,” he said, pushing your lips apart further. You gasped as he slid into your mouth, his cock heavy on your tongue, pushing your lips apart as he felt the bulge in your cheek.

His tip was pressed against the back of your throat, almost as if was letting you adjust - and just when you felt like your mouth was gonna explode, he pulled out, your small coughs and splutters filling the air. He pushed your head further, your small gagging sound against his thigh vibrating through his body. Tears began to form in your eyes from how hard he was pushing you, his cheeks flushed red with pleasure.

“Are you a slut, Y/N?” he asked, pulling you off of him as you gasped for air, the air smelling like sex, your eyes hazy and filled with slight tears from the strain as you nodded. “Yes,” you said, you didn’t need him to tell you to use your words as he hummed again. He was less rough, instead, bobbing your head up and down on the tip only, guiding your small hand to the base and pushing it up and down.

You gagged again, pushing more of him into your mouth. There was something about the way he gasped and his eyes rolled at your bold move...he turned his head to look down, your thighs squeezing together as he pushed them apart, eyes running over your wet folds once more.

Your back arched as he toyed around with your folds once more, circling your entrance with his thumb as you continued to bob your head, almost copying his movements on his cock. You whined as he pushed his longest finger into you, slowly pumping as your head fell a little onto his knee.

His other hand tangled in your hair, pushing you further down on his cock, a bulge forming in your throat as he fingered you, your cunt clenching round his digits. “Need my cock in you, do you?” he asked, to which you nodded, lips never leaving his cock. “Of course you do,” he scoffed, pulling you off of him by your hair.

You whined as he did so, your lips almost reaching to put him back on your tongue, the feeling of his heavy, thick cock against your tongue sending pulses into your core, but you weren’t complaining as he turned you round, pushing you over the bed, your ass against his cock as he groaned, pulling you back.

“Please, I need you,” you gasped, your hands balling into fists into the sheets as he hummed, reaching one hand round the front of you toy with your clit, your head falling into the mattress as he slid his cock inside of you, the pad of his thumb flicking over your slick bundle of nerves.

“Fuckin’ tight, aren’t you?” he groaned, your cunt clenching round his thigh member, the vein along the bottom throbbing against your entrance before he started moving, pulling all the way back so his head was hanging inside of you, before he plunged back inside of you, another moan on his lips.

“So full,” Em groaned into your ear, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he pulled one of your arms behind your back, holding it there as you dragged at the bedsheets, his hips moving slowly, each thrust picking up pace, as he moved his other hand out of your hair to squeeze at the flesh of your ass.

“Fuck, my favourite treat,” Em gasped, his voice hoarse and rough as he held you close to him, his chest pressing to your back, the scent of sweat and the sheen of his sweat on his skin evident in the air as you moaned, your cheeks flushed red, hair messy and disheveled.

“Daddy’s little monster, yeah?” Em groaned, picking up the shirt he’d thrust onto the side when he’d tore it from your body, thrusting it onto the bed in front of you as your pussy strangled at his cock, your hips moving to try and take all of him, earning yourself a sharp smack on the back of you ass.

A strangled moan left your lips at the feeling as he scowled, one hand wrapping round your throat as he pulled all the way out. You whined again, the sound muffled from Em’s hand as your cunt clenched round air, and you could practically feel the amused smirk playing on his lip.

Without warning, he pushed himself back into you again, pulling a loud shriek out of you, his thick length hitting resistance immediately. He muffled your moan let again, his fingers digging into your lips as he heard the doorbell suddenly. “The fuck-?” he asked, pulling out of you as you whined.

“Em,” you said, tugging at his hand as he stood up. “You can’t be that pathetic,” he said, very much nearly in disbelief that you couldn’t wait for his cock. “Fucking wait, and don’t you dare touch yourself,”. The doorbell went off again, the childish sound of ‘trick or treat’ ringing through the house as Em groaned.

“Behave,” he said, pulling his outfit back up properly and rushing down the stairs with the bowl of candy. You couldn’t help it, you needed to feel something, as you buried two fingers deep into your heat, not even making up half the side of his thick girth as you fucked yourself on your fingers.

“You little fucking-,” you gasped as Em glared at you, your fingers freezing deep inside your cunt, eyes wide. “Em, I-,” you were cut off as his hand reached to your hair, pushing you back onto the bed. “I don’t care,” he snapped harshly as you opened your mouth to speak.

A shriek left your lips as he plunged his cock once more into your cunt, welcomed with a wave of your juices. You were dizzy, breathless as he kept filling up your pussy with short, harsh strokes. Heavy grunts and growls accompanied the wet sounds of your sloppy holes getting fucked as he worked himself into a frenzy, your moans turning to squeaks.

His hips were moving to fast, ploughing in and out of you, you were sure you’d have bruises, and the ability to walk would be nothing but a damn myth to you. “You’re a fucking whore, Y/N,” Em growled into your ear as you whined. “I’m not a-,” you started.

“Shut the fuck up!” he snapped, landing a harsh smack onto your ass as you shrieked again. “Just shut up and take my cock,” he said, his chest heaving as his thrusts became sloppier, your cunt clenching round him as your orgasm hit, your body spasming with need, from what felt like your hundredth orgasm that night.

You’d lost count at that point anyways, as you shook, your arms shaking and hands clawing at the bedsheets as Em tightened his grip round your neck, his seed spilling into you, dripping out of your tight cunt, his cock hanging inside of you before he pulled out, a moan on your lips as he pushed his own cum back inside of you.

“Happy Halloween, baby,”.

[st4rb3rries]

OMG I LOVED UR STAN AND KYLE BSF HEADCANNONS!! Can i req one with the main four, like what its like to be in a group w/ them?? have an amazing day <33

BEING IN A FRIEND GROUP WITH SOUTH PARKS MAIN 4

pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 18+)

summary; chaotic friend group hc's!

warnings; cussing

a/n; hi and ty hope you have an amazing day too!!

key colors; blue= stan green= kyle orange= kenny red= cartman pink= reader

late night skate boarding with them. it's always cartman who texts you guys to go. in reality he only wants to go to just to start shit. in my opinion kenny is the best skater out of y'all. but cartman is the worst💀. "you guys you guys look im gonna go down the ramp!!" "cartman that isn't a good idea your not ready-" "WAAAAAHHHHH" laughter is coming out from you, stan, and kenny. kyle wants to laugh but he ain't risking it😭. "GAWDAMMIT KYLE IM BEAT YOUR J-" cartman stops himself because he knows damn well not to rip on kyle in front of you. so he switches up real fast 🙄. "you guys i seriously think i broke a bone" "whatever cartman you just switched up cause you know y/n would kick your ass" 5 minutes kenny is teaching you, stan, and kyle a trick. "ok so next you gotta-" "get a room lovebirds i mean come on🙄" "CARTMAN STFU!!" "yeah dude stay mad because your not psychically able to do any of this🥱" this all happens in less than 15 minutes, like why can't y'all just be a nice friend group😭. moments later stan was about to go off a ramp. UNTIL HIS WHEELS BROKE OFF THE SKATEBOARD. i wonder who unscrewed them..... "AAAUAGHHHHHH" "DON'T WORRY STAN I GOTCHU!!" and there he was, stanly marsh in your arms. "W rizz stan or nah😏" stan could feel his face heating up fr. "damn dude that should've been me not stan😔" "kenny shut the hell up💀" "wait a minute where's cartman he literally almost killed stan tf????" cartman isn't trying to get his ass kicked in front of people so he ditched and went home. classic cartman.

karaoke night. you guys are definitely singing 2000's songs. but it always seems like you guys get interrupted no matter what. karaoke night was started by cartman, which is so surprising?? "I WANNA HOLD'EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS, PLEASE" "FOLD'EM LET'EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH M-" stan and kyle always hating cause you and cartman sound a little too good. "BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE" "YA MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" "OH FUCK OFF GUYS LET US SING" "you guys have been singing this same song for 2 hours bruh😭" "2 minutes kenny get it right" they just hating cause they can't handle real talent. sometimes when the karaoke gets intense you guys act like judges for americas got talent💀. "is this kenny mccormick from south park colorado?" "yes" "and what will you be doing today?" "YOUR MOM AHAHA" "disqualified poor people can't seem to have talent" "CARTMAN WTF" "NEXT" "no wait i'll sing with him" "oh god" if kyle and stan think you and cartman sound a little too good. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HERE YOU AND KENNY. "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMIN SYSTEM" "TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM" super bass by nicki minaj is y'alls go to song. every time you guys finish that song your out of breath and laugh so much😭. "AND THE CROWD GUYS MILD🔥" "NEXT" "cartman we are done playing americas got talent" "dude let me and kyle sing next we haven't sung at all🥹" "fine" "ah hell nah it better not be anything emo💀" *30 seconds later every one starts singing* "BUT IM A CREEP" "IM A WERIDO" "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOIN' HERE" "I DON'T BELONG HERE" suddenly the tv, microphones, and speaker goes out?? "LISTEN UP BITCHES IM NOT HAVING AN ALCOHOLIC, A JEW, A FATHERLESS DAUGHTER, AND A HOMELESS POOR BOY SING RADIOHEAD AT MY HOUSE‼️‼️" guess who got jumped that night🤔???

[muzaktomyears]

Paul McCartney has revealed the inspiration behind the lyric “I said something wrong” in the Beatles hit Yesterday.

McCartney said the line may have been subconsciously inspired by a moment when he mocked his mother for sounding “posh”.

Many assume the lyric, “I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday”, is about the break-up of a relationship.

McCartney, however, explained on his A Life in Lyrics podcast that the lyric may actually relate to a conversation in which he embarrassed his mother.

He said: “Sometimes it’s only in retrospect you can appreciate it. I remember very clearly one day feeling very embarrassed because I embarrassed my mum.

“We were out in the backyard and she talked posh. She was of Irish origin and she was a nurse, so she was above street level.

“So she had something sort of going for her, and she would talk what we thought was a little bit posh. And it was a little bit Welshy as well – she had connections, her auntie Dilys was Welsh.

“I know that she said something like ‘Paul, will you ask him if he’s going … ’

“I went ‘Arsk! Arsk! It’s ask mum.’ And she got a little bit embarrassed. I remember later thinking ‘God, I wish I’d never said that’. And it stuck with me. After she died I thought ‘Oh fuck, I really wish … ’”

McCartney wrote the song when he was 24, almost a decade after his mother, Mary, died of cancer.

Yesterday was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1997 and voted the number one pop song of all time by Rolling Stone magazine and MTV in 2000.

The song is also one of the most covered songs in the history of recorded music with 2,200 versions.

McCartney has previously said the death of his mother helped him express his sense of loss.

He said: “It may be that there is so much tumbled into your youth and your formative years that you can’t appreciate it all.

“I’ve got a couple of those little things that I know that people would forgive me, because they’re not big things – they’re little things – but they’re little things that I just think, ‘If I could just take a rubber, just rub that moment out it would be better’.

“And when she died, I wonder, ‘I said something wrong’, are we harking back to that crazy little thing.

“So I don’t know. Does this happen? Do you find yourself unconsciously putting songs into girl lyrics [about a lost lover] that are really your dead mother? I suspect it might be true. It sort of fits, if you look at the lyrics.”

McCartney’s podcast explores the inspiration behind the singer’s songwriting with the poet Paul Muldoon over two seasons and 24 episodes.

(source)

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Bubble gum snow drop plzzzz ❤️❤️❤️🤡🔥🔥🔥

clown fuckers rise up !

Pairing: Buggy x Female Reader

WC: 2000

Prompt: “You’re obviously freezing. Just come here.” 

— — 

*cough* *cough* *sputter* *cough*  

Your eyes snap open and see a cloudless late afternoon sky. You immediately lurch forward to purge the seawater from your lungs. You flip over on your hands and knees while choking out the rest of the water, you gasp and cough trying to catch your breath. 

It had all happened so fast. You were aboard Buggy’s ship to do some negotiations when a massive storm hit. Your serious discussion had been interrupted by violent shaking of the ship and sounds of wood breaking all around you. You both headed out to the deck to assess the situation and that was the last thing you remembered. 

You had seemingly been washed ashore on some small island near where the storm had hit. You finally catch your breath enough to look around. You see what seems like the shape of another human being washed along the shore about fifty yards away. You rub at the salt water stinging your eyes, to make sure you were really seeing another person laying on the beach. After you regain your full vision you realize that yes, yes there was someone laying on the sand, someone with bright blue hair… and someone who certainly wasn’t moving. 

Instinctively you start to sprint towards the body on the beach as fast as you can. Upon arrival, you see Buggy’s body laying face down in the wet sand with no signs of life. 

“Shit…” You huff out. His stupid chop-chop fruit. He probably couldn’t push the salt water out of his lungs like you did. You flip him over onto his back and quickly move to straddle his waist. 

“Come on…” You press your hands onto his chest and push down with your whole body. You continue to pull back and push down in a frantic manner, trying to get him to cough up the sea water. 

“Don’t die, you fucking asshole!” You give one especially hard thrust to Buggy’s chest and his hands fly up to your waist as he begins coughing violently. You hop up to hover above him as he expels the water from his lungs and catches his breath. 

“Y/n?” Buggy looks up at you, confused. 

“Yes?” You question. 

“YOU’RE God?!?!” He shrieks out and his eyes widen. 

“Oh my GOD.” You roll your eyes. “I’m not god you fucking moron, you aren’t dead. Not yet at least.” You pick yourself up off the sand. “It’s getting dark, we can’t look for the rest of the crew until the sun’s back up. We need to find somewhere to shelter for the night.” 

Buggy groans and rolls around dramatically on the sand. 

“This is ridiculous! I’m stuck here with you? Here I thought you’d be in and out of my office with your Berries and I’d never have to deal with you again. Now we’re bunking up in the wilderness?” “Excuse me, circus act? I just saved your fucking life, dickhead. And if you’d like to continue living that life, I’d follow me.” You turn tail and start to walk towards the rock formation in the center of the island. Buggy looks around and sees that you are clearly his only hope at surviving this ordeal, so he scrambles to his feet and follows you. 

Eventually you come across a cave deep enough to shelter yourselves from any enemies or predators for the night. You order Buggy to gather some sticks and logs to put a fire together. You dig your cigarette lighter out of your pants pocket and pray to whatever gods that would listen for it to still be functional. Luck was on your side and the lighter flickered to life in your hand. You light the firewood carefully and watched over the growing flame for several minutes. 

Once the fire was lit, you and Buggy brought yourselves close to the flames so that you could finally feel some warmth in your damp clothes. The night had grown pitch black and you were feeling the aches and pains of being washed ashore catching up with you. 

“I’m going to try to sleep. You should get some rest too.” You crawl over to a corner of the cave and curl up on your side against the rock wall. 

“Right.” Buggy chooses a spot opposite the cave and lays down on his back. He throws his large coat over his body like a blanket. 

Several minutes go by and your body was wracked with a chill that wouldn’t go away. Being stuck in wet clothes all day and the ache in your bones was causing you to shake violently. You rub your sides trying to create more warmth with friction when you hear a sigh from across the cave. 

“You’re obviously freezing. Just come here.” Buggy gruffly announces. 

“What?” You question through chattering teeth. 

“You and I both know how body heat works. Do I have to spell this out for you, princess? Just get over here.” 

You weigh your options. You could go cuddle up to Buggy the Clown or you could freeze to death in a damp corner of a cave. You crawl over to Buggy. He lifts up his coat and beckons you to join him underneath it. You shuffle your body into his under the coat and you already begin to feel warmer. Buggy wraps his arm around you when he felt your shivering shoulders against his chest. 

Although it was significantly warmer in Buggy’s arms, you still couldn’t help but shake from the cold. 

“We should take our clothes off.” You hear from the man behind you. You snap your head in his direction. “Excuse me?!”

“Oh relax, don’t get too excited. Our clothes are still damp, we’re not going to warm up like this. We’ll freeze and catch a cold…. And I do not do well with nasal congestion.” Buggy sits up and starts stripping himself of his wet clothing before you could protest. 

“Jeez can you at least give me a second to look away before you pull your dick out?” You close your eyes instinctively. You unfortunately realize how right the clown was. There was no way you’d warm up if you stayed in your clothes. You sigh and slip your shirt over your head and shuffle your pants down your legs. You cross your legs and move your arms to cover your breasts and pull the makeshift blanket back over you. 

Finally out of your wet garments and with a warm body holding you close, you were able to relax. You release a deep exhale and close your eyes to try and get some sleep. Right as you were about to drift off, you feel something hard twitch against your backside. Your eyes shoot open. 

“Is your dick hard right now?!” You snap at him. “We almost died, you old pervert! How can you be hard?”

“I understand that, y/n!” Buggy hisses out at you, grinding his cock further into your body. You didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose or if he just couldn’t help it. “Regardless of what happened earlier, there is a hot naked girl laying next to me. I’m still a man, y/n.” The way he growled into your ear, your body began to betray you…

You sighed at the feeling of his needy body dry humping you. You pressed your ass further into him and Buggy groaned lowly. He moves his hand from its place on your stomach up to grip your breast. He gropes it harshly, using it almost as an anchor to pull your body back into his. 

Buggy gives your breast a particularly rough squeeze and you involuntarily moan out loudly. You slap your hand over your mouth. You hear the man behind you chuckle. 

“You’re wet right now, aren’t you, y/n?” Buggy whispers in your ear. “Does this turn you on, y/n? You like when I play with your tits like that?” 

Your cunt pulsed at his filthy words. You couldn’t come up with a response other than a whimper. The hand that was groping your breast suddenly released it to pull your right leg up and over his hip, effectively spreading your legs open for him. 

“I bet if I touched this sweet little pussy, she’d be soaking wet. Should I see if I’m right, y/n?” Without waiting for a response from you, Buggy detaches his other hand from wherever it was and slips it between your legs. He uses his middle and first fingers to slip effortlessly through your slick folds. You gasp as he lets his fingers linger on your clit and applies a bit of pressure. 

“Looks like I’m right! You’re all hot now too, what do you say we warm up a bit faster hmm?” Buggy purrs in your ear as he dips his two fingers shallowly in your hole, teasing you before coming back up to rub at your clit, spreading copious amounts of your slick around your throbbing sex. 

“We really shouldn’t, B-buggy… oh!" He pushes his digits into your entrance again and you yelp out. 

“Come on baby, let me stick it in you. It’ll feel good…” Buggy continues pumping his fingers in and out of you, working you up further. “Feel how wet you are?” Buggy dramatically squelches his fingers in your dripping cunt and you clench at the noise and the feeling. “It’d be a shame to let this go to waste… don’t you want to cum? I’ll make you cum on my cock, just let me put it in…” 

How could someone be so hot while simultaneously begging you to let him take you? You were desperate for release so you relented to the clown’s pleas. 

“Yes, fuck me.” You breath out. Buggy pulls his fingers out of you and his leaking cock was already prodding at your hole. You don’t know how did it so fast, it was almost like a magic trick. 

You were so wet that your walls welcomed Buggy’s cock easily. You both groan and gasp as he makes his first experimental thrusts into you. 

“Shit baby, you’re so tight! If I had known you had such a nice pussy I would have bent you over the desk in my office earlier!” Buggy hikes your leg higher in his hand in order to penetrate you even deeper. 

“Right there!” You huff out and throw your head back against Buggy’s shoulder. 

“Here, baby? Does that feel good?” Buggy continues to thrust his cock into you, tip brushing against that sensitive spot with each pass through your slick walls. He nips at your ear as you melt further into his body. He brings his hand that was holding your thigh down to push on your lower tummy. 

“B-buggy… fuck…” The sensation of his cock sliding through your sensitive insides was heightened by his hand on your stomach. “I-I… I think I’m gonna cum… fuck!” Before you finish your sentence the pressure in your abdomen releases and you orgasm violently on your clown lover. 

“There it is, good girl…” Buggy speeds up his thrusts into your still spasming pussy. “Squeezing me so tight, fuck I’m gonna cum too, shit…” 

You feel Buggy grip the soft skin of your tummy and pull your body impossibly closer to his as he spills his thick seed deep inside you. You felt rope after rope of hot liquid fill you to the brim and spill out around his member at your entrance… must have been awhile for him… 

Buggy’s breath was hot and ragged on your neck and you feel his nose nuzzle your spine. 

“So… you still cold?” Buggy asks. 

“I think I’ll be okay now, thanks.” You laugh and cuddle your body into his front even closer. “You’re still inside me, you know.” 

“I know… can we sleep like this? Please? You’re so warm…” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Fine,” You respond. “But if people come looking for us and find us like this in the morning, you’re a dead clown.” 

“Worth it.” Buggy yawns and quickly begins snoring behind you. Finally being comfortably warm, you too drift off to sleep. 

-- --

xx Mo 

[burntb4bydoll]

I love your writing soo much it hurts. 🥲

Can you please write like a 2000s bill smut or fluff ( whatever you feel comfortable with), where they build a pillows and blankets fort together and they end up falling asleep cuddled. And the rest of the band takes photos and mocks them the next day.

At this point I need fics to breathe. Thanks ✌

Thank you so much beautiful<3

This is such a cute idea! Im gonna do fluff for the people that dont like smut, cuz i feel like i dont post a lot of only fluff fics!

Bill Kaulitz x reader

Warnings: friends to loverssss🤭, nothing else really just a lot of cute stuff

When Bill had invited you to come over, you didn’t think this is what you guys would end up doing. You’re currently helping Bill set up a massive blanket fort in his living room. He originally invited you over to watch a movie, but after you arrived he decided that he wanted to make it more fun by making a fort. Even though you didn’t expect it, you were having so much fun hanging out alone with him. After you guys finished setting up the fort, Bill let you pick out a movie and you laid next to each other to watch it.

“This is fun. We should hangout alone more often. I feel like we only ever spend time with the band, I like having this type of one on one time together.” Bills attention left the tv screen to look over at you as you started talking. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them too but you know…”

“I know. I like this too. I’ve actually been trying to hangout with you alone for a while now, but uhh things never really go as planned…” he trailed off, his eyes moving down to break your intense eye contact. He awkwardly shifted for a minute before turning to fully face you. His head still laid on the pillow, but now he was looking at you. “Um..I actually invited you here to tell you something. Its kinda important to me…” you turned to face him too. Now you were only a few inches away from one another, you could practically feel his uneven breath hitting you.

“Whats up? You seem nervous. You know I won’t judge you, Bill.” Your hand comes up to hold his hand comfortingly. He takes a shaky breath in and stares into your eyes,

“Y/n, I really like you. And not as a friend. I wanna be your boyfriend so bad. Not a day goes by where I don’t dream about being with you.” Your eyes go wide, inhaling sharply.

“Bill..I like you too. I was literally going to tell you tonight.” He looks at you with a blank expression for a moment before giggling loudly. His adorable laugh made you giggle too. Once you two calm down a little he starts talking again,

“Oh my god I was so nervous! I can’t believe I was so stressed for nothing!” He laughs softly, leaning closer to you. You smile and shake your head, just happy that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore. “Can I…can I kiss you?” You nod eagerly as his hands cup your face gently. He slowly leans in, placing a experimental kiss on your lips. Once you both relax a bit, the kiss turns passionate and intimate. He pulls away and gives one last peck on your lips before tucking his head underneath yours and holding your waist tightly. Before you knew it, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.

You woke up the next morning to hearing some snickers and giggles. Sitting up slightly, you groggily rubbed your eyes and looked around the room. When your eyes finally focused you realized what was happening. Bill was curled up against your side with his head laying on your shoulder. His hair was messy and he was drooling a little. The rest of the band was standing above you guys, taking pictures and laughing. Bill stirred and sat up, groaning at his brothers loud laughter.

“What are you guys doing here? You’re so annoying!” Bill grumbles, swatting away the camera that Gustav had shoved in his face.

“What are we doing here?” Tom exclaimed, “What are you guys doing here? We’re not the ones all cuddled up and being all lovey-dovey!” Georg and Gustav bursted into another fit of giggles, looking at the pictures they had took of you.

“Hey! You better delete those! I did not agree to have my picture taken, especially while I’m sleeping!” Bill jumped up and started to chase Georg around, trying to retrieve his camera. You giggled a little and laid back down.

“Its too damn early for this. Fuck you guys I’m going back to sleep.”