#OF THE LAWN VARIETY
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*walks around the house feeling like everything’s an inch to the left of where it should be* *jumps around trying to make it go away* *drinks a glass of water thinking that’ll fix it* *cannot figure out for the life of me what i’m forgetting* *or why sitting at my desk is suddenly too hard* *i’m not hyper either-*
I FORGOT MY HOODIE--
#I WAS SITTING THERE IN THE COLD#IN A SUMMER SHIRT#OF THE LAWN VARIETY#NO WONDER EVERYTHING FELT WEIRD#well now i guess i'll just feel weird for the rest of the evening so time to go do uni work :>
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I truly hope that one day the girls and gays can grow past "heehee you look like you'd hate crime me hoohoo you look like you'd call me a slur" as a stock response to country trans men. First off, insert yap about rural stereotypes. Second off, I'm sorry that my gender expression personally offends you, but I'm not interested in making myself palatable for the comfort of a bunch of fragile yaoibrained dipshits who faint at the sight of a single leg hair. Nut up and shut up.
#cyberhai gets political#transandrophobia#yee and haw#i wear crop tops on occasion but they are strictly for mowing the lawn and of the jank homemade muscle tank variety
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my dad made me a display 2.0 for the seed packets and omg 😭😭😭😭😭
#i feel like an actual seed farmer now i am crying#its crazy how many varieties i'm able to grow and harvest#and all in only half of my front yard!!#AND THIS ISN'T EVEN EVERYTHING YET AAAHHH#gardening#home garden#food not lawns#homestead#nature#homegrown#homesteading#food#grow food#gardenblr#garden blog#suburbian agriculture#suburbia farming#seed saving#seed starting#seed farm#farmers market#small business
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6/29/24 ~ endless tiny tims 🍅
#tiny tim tomatoes#tiny tim#heirloom varieties#roma tomatoes#sustainable gardening#tomato garden#container tomatoes#container gardening#vegetable gardening#indoor garden#plant life#growing food#plant mom#starting seeds#homesteading#grow food not lawns#grow organic#organic garden
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Got absolutely ratio'd on my own poll 😭
so I have learnt:
1) most people pronounce "lawn" and "con" the same (???????????????) only one other aussie in the notes agrees with my pronunciation. I'm very confused as to how else you would say them - cawn? lon?
2) after repeating "gone" a ridiculous amount of times I've realised the way I say it does not in fact rhyme with lawn. I can't think of anything it rhymes with. I said I say it "gawn" but that's. Not quite accurate. So (tumblr is difficult about adding your own audio, hence a black video of me saying "gone lawn con" ft. background piano):
(the audio is pretty soft you may have to turn up your volume)
#im still. yeah. HOW are you guys pronouncing lawn and con??????#no judgement just confusion. i am in awe of the variety of pronunciations tbh#accents
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my saffron crocus didn't die :0
#i planted them last spring and they were supposed to bloom in the fall but they didn't so i thought they were dead#bc they were iffy in my growing zone and i jist planted them in the lawn w no protection like if they die they die#bc they were super cheap and im lazy#anyway they put up leaves!!! they're alive!!!!#probably they just needed time to establish#hopefully they flower this year!!#they're fall blooming :)#plus i can harvest the stamens to cook with#maybe sell some if i get enough idk#but they should flower late fall when stuff is dying back :)#would be so nice to have flowers at that time of year#i know someone in a warmer zone who's been growing them in a cold frame and not had any flowers for like 2-3 years as they establish tho#so possibly a failed experiment if they live but never flower idk#but hopefully they'll live and flower#my logic was basically that i got 30 for 12 dollars and planted them in a wide variety of locations in my yard#hoping for at least a few to thrive without protection bc im lazy#and for 12 dollars it would be worth it if most of them died to get even a couple flowers#they're hard to find in the grass but i think i have close to 20 at least!#i will share in the fall if any of them flower this year <3#horticulture tag#gardening tag
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insane to me that we introduced autumn olive to be decorative and now they're fucking everywhere and choking out native ecosystems and people don't even know you can eat them
#not that eating them would STOP them but like. you know. a lot of wild edibles you should be conscientious about harvesting#but you can should and must overharvest autumn olive#garlic mustard is also edible (AND digging it up [to eat it] is actually useful) but that's part of why it was introduced in the first plac#as far as I can tell autumn olive was introduced for a variety of reasons but human consumption wasn't really one of them#anyway I dunno it's insane to me how many extremely normal very common plants are literally food and nobody TELLS us that#and especially wild when it's plants that are considered-- rightly or no-- some kind of problem#dandelions are like.... imagine if your lawn just kept sprouting spinach. just all year long no matter what you did#you can EAT them things!!! in lots of different ways!!! and people just don't KNOW that!!!#anyway eat autumn olives they are beautiful and tasty and highly invasive#about me
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due to Circumstances, I now have a persimmon seedling and a quince tree, and I am pretty enthused about this
#those are the two fruits I most want to grow#I chose persimmon but the variety I bought in the fall apparently didn't make it#so they offered a baby of another variety + the quince to make up the price difference and YES#now#do I realistically have room for two trees in my front yard period?#let alone a fucking persimmon?#hard maybe!!#but lawns as we know are overrated#and sunny barren DRY as FUCK lawns like this one are definitely a waste of space#so. oops it's a mini orchard now#(the objectively correct answer here is to get rid of the giant invasive maple in the front lawn#which I will do if and when the persimmon gets uh persimmon-sized#but that'll be quite a while)#(I have a back yard also. it is Very Shaded. I love trees!!)#(I am also very glad my neighbors who own 2/3 of the giant pines shading the back#realized it'd be a truly stupid expense to take them down for no reason#look if one of them miraculously falls SIDEWAYS onto my house I will be sad for sure but my dudes that ain't the prevailing wind direction#also they seem perfectly healthy (though I would like to somehow find an arborist whose job isn't primarily Cut Down)#and while I will also be very sad if one even more miraculously drops itself or a huge branch on a person in the yard...#rational risk/benefit analysis folks let's get us some)
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I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.
-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a
~*Spiritual Experience*~
I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.
Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.
He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.
So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.
He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.
Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.
His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.
Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.
There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.
I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.
However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."
For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."
I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."
Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.
The Gods were not merciful today.
It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.
Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.
So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.
The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.
My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.
Which is when the hail begins.
"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"
I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.
So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.
---
(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)
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How to Enchant Items 🔮
To enchant an item is to infuse it with magical energy. This energy can come from a variety of sources, including celestial bodies, elements, crystals, herbs, or even yourself.
Some individuals use the words “enchant” and “charm” synonymously as a way to describe the process of infusing something with energy, but for the sake of this post and due to my own beliefs, you enchant something and it then becomes a charm. Alternately, a charm can be something with its own innate energy, like a crystal or herbal amulet.
Enchanting items to turn them into magical objects involves more than just intent - you must learn to channel and manipulate energy, and direct it into that item for enchanting to be successful.
Although, the process of enchanting is extremely versatile and there are many ways to do it.
Here are a few ideas on how to enchant items, in no particular order:
Surround the item with crystals of corresponding intent
Surround the item with herbs of corresponding intent
Place the item in a jar filled with herbs that represent your intent
Place the item in front of a candle and meditate on your intent
Anoint the item with an oil, charged water, or crystal elixir of corresponding intent
Hold the item in your hand(s) and visualize it filling with the appropriate energy
Hold the item in your hand(s) and speak or sing your intent aloud
Craft a symbol to keep near the item in an envelope or sachet
Sew, stitch, or carve a symbol into the item
Write your intention on paper and keep in an envelope with the item
Pair the item with a corresponding runestone or tarot / oracle card in an envelope
Take the item and put it in a box with other items that represent your intent such as crystals, herbs, talismans, amulets, etc.
Bury the item in soil with herbs and/or crystals that match your intent (please don’t put salt on your lawn though, unless you want dead grass)
Pass the item through incense smoke that matches your intent
Pro Tip: Time your enchantments with the appropriate planetary hour, day of the week, time of day, or lunar phase to increase your chances of creating a successful charm.
© 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺 𝙰𝙳-𝙲𝙰𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙰
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Imagine...
Imagine you recently moved to the outskirts of a forest. The nature is beautiful and you do your part to keep it that way. You plant pollinator friendly flowers, rabbit friendly herbs, deer friendly bushes, you put out bird feeders, hummingbird feeders, squirrel feeders (though honestly, it's just extra bird feeders with less specific seeds since you noticed the birds didn't always eat the variety equally). Hell, you even changed out your lawn from traditional grass to clover and native wild flowers to use less water. You've been putting in a lot of effort to keep things nice for nature-- it's certainly been noticed, too.
In fact, you've no idea of the amount of eyes watching your beauty preserve nature's beauty- and to them you are nature's finest beauty. Looking at your plush body care for, tend to, and love the very things that feed their lives' essence; it's a sight that cannot be beat. At first, it was a competition amongst the forest. Who was yours? Who you belonged to? Now, now they understand that just like you work so hard to aid all of them, they can all share, love, tend to, and care for you, as well.
Imagine the first you meet, unbeknownst to you, is planned- it's all planned. You're sitting outside on a blanket, book in hand, just enjoying some rare free time when you hear a loud buzzing. It sounds as if a humming bird were flying right beside your ear. Yet, when you look up, it's certainly not that far from the truth despite not being completely correct in concept.
He's shorter than you, but not by much, barely hovering a foot off the ground. He hides half his body behind your oak tree- the one with all your feeders on it. He's got brilliant colors and jerks almost completely behind the tree when your eyes meet. (He's supposed to be speaking to you but when his eyes met your own shining gaze, he couldn't help but grow shy.) Your sweet, comforting scent has wafted in the air, stirred up in part by his own rapidly fluttering wings. He's buzzing with anxiety and adrenaline, the need to prove and show you his skills battling with his fear of your rejection. Now that he's gotten so close to those plump cheeks, he needs to kiss. Now that he's seen how soft and warm you are he needs to get closer; he needs to feel how soft and plush you are as he clings to your chubby form from his own anxiety.
Imagine you softly call out to him, voice sounding like both the sweetest lullaby to soothe his racing heart and mind and also just like home- like the sound he'd come come to with a nest full of little hatchlings and your warmth shared. It's that thought that spurs him into action, faster than you could reasonably expect. After all, the speed he can achieve gets to nearly the same as a traditional hummingbird.
He's higher in the air than you'd ever think he'd go, he shoots down, nearly towards you- no, definitely towards you, nearly at you the speed of which creates a loud chirp and you hear the sweet melody of whistles erupt from him as he's closer to you. As he hovers before you, dance still pumping adrenaline through him, he's more than proud of the awed expression you've been unable to shake. When you close your book and set it down to completely give him your full attention, he preens at your acceptance. You may not fully understand your own consent to his courtship, but the primal, feral instinct within him is more than satisfied with your open attraction and silent acceptance of him into your space- your life. He lingers by you for a moment and when he doesn't hide or fly away from you, it indicates he's comfortable enough with you. You smile and begin to speak.
Imagine you still keep your voice soft, welcoming for him. It's so, so sweet of you to care so much for him already- such a precious, soft, sweet mate you are already without hardly trying. You introduce yourself to him- you give him your name! As you do so, he flits around you with little twirls and swoops in his own excitement. Instinctually, you hold your hand out to shake. He grabs it instantaneously within his own soft, warm grasp. He holds your hand, enjoying how his hands are still just a smidge bigger than your own little, pudgy ones; even if it's barely noticeable to you, he can tell. You give the shared grasp a shake but he doesn't release you, instead he uses it to hover closer to you. (He's tempted to swoop into your outreached arm and cuddle into your side, he's strongly resisting that temptation. The mantra in his head is "not now, don't do it, not now...")
You smell like the flowers you plant, the earthiness of fresh watered soil, and there's a warmth beneath it all he can't place. It's enchanting, nearly hypnotizing. (Fuck, the other's are going to drool over your scent later when they get closer- maybe even over him if it's strong enough lingering on him after he meets you.) When he finally releases, he gives you his own name breathlessly with a giant blush upon his cheeks. His feathers puff up around him in his embarrassment before he dashes off towards the forest. As he does so, he pauses to look back at you every few yards. Instead of following you like he's silently urging and beckoning you to do, you smile, little puffy cheeks rounding adorably as you tell him "see you soon!" (fuck- his heart is going as fast as his wings and that cannot be healthy)
Imagine you start seeing Calypte more often. In fact, you start meeting him in your garden at least twice a week. After your first week, you begin to bring him fruit to eat, since you didn't quite think he drank from the hummingbird feeder like his look alike. The first time he ate the orange so ravenously for you that you never stopped. He knows that in nature, if he were true to his counterpart, he wouldn't be building the nest- you would. He knows in nature his counterparts instinct wouldn't be to linger after copulation, but he supposes that side of him is entirely the human part.
The need to preen and nest for you, the need to stay by your side, the need for you attention, for your care, for your love. That is surely, entirely his humanity. After all, hybrids are different from their animal inspiration. They're an interesting amalgamation of all the best parts of both. That's why they were created, why they were designed, right? Before the humanity and ethics caught up to it all, anyway. His parents acted very human after all, it just depended on genetics. However you.... you brought the humanity out of him. You bring the humanity out of him. It thrills him, makes him feel alive, and he can not get enough of it- of you.
#oc#Calypte (oc)#yandere forest harem (au)#Calypte the hummingbird hybrid#oc yandere#oc yandere hybrid#hybrid oc#monster oc#yandere monster oc#yandere hybrid#yandere monster#yandere#yandere oc#oc x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#original character#monster x reader#hybrid x reader#yandere forest harem#hummingbird hybrid#bird hybrid#bird man#hummingbird man#monster oc x reader#hybrid oc x reader#soft yandere#yandere hybrid oc#yandere hybrid oc x reader#yandere hybrid x reader
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planted in your garden | joel miller x f!reader
joel masterlist | read on ao3
summary: joel has always shown his love for you through flowers, and now it's your turn to do the same word count: 1k warnings: 18+ only, reader has tattoos & is shorter than joel, joel being soft & lovey-dovey & just the best in general, bit of spiciness at the end a/n: written for @morallyinept's Fauna & Flora Challenge ❤️ not beta’d or any of that jazz, please enjoy :)
If there’s one thing you know about Joel Miller, it’s that he will always find a reason to buy you flowers, no need for a special occasion. It’s been a long hard week and I wanted to get you something, saw these pretty flowers and thought of my pretty girl, got them just because I love you. Whether it’s an entire bouquet or just a few wild stems tied together by a ribbon, you’re sure he’s given you more flowers than you’ve received in your entire life.
It started on your birthday — you told him you hadn’t planned anything because you didn’t want a big fuss and it wasn’t a number worth celebrating, and he insisted on bringing you dinner so you wouldn’t have to spend the evening on your own. Every number is worth celebrating, it means you’ve been around another whole year. You were floored when he showed up on your doorstep, pizza boxes in one hand and a bunch of red and pink tulips in the other.
“Saw the ink on your arm there and just assumed they were your favourite. None of the stores ever have anything fresh or pretty enough, so I just cut these from my back garden.”
Joel Miller. Cut red and pink tulips for you. From his own garden.
You’d only known each other a few weeks at that stage, and he’d been more observant in that short time than any other man you’d met. At first, you didn’t read into it too much, he’s just doing something nice for you. You told yourself it didn’t matter that this ‘something nice’ was the single nicest thing anyone ever did for you.
You ate your takeout pizzas and talked for hours that night, record player on in the background, sharing stories of years gone by and remembering the person you each used to be. A few stray tears even slipped down your cheek at one point — Joel moved to sit close next to and almost on instinct you rested your head on his shoulder. It was oddly comforting knowing just how vulnerable you could be around him. He was a kind soul, a rather rare find in today’s world, and you found it surprisingly easy to open up to him.
You asked him for a hug that night and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you firmly against him, his chin resting on the top of your head and it was the safest you felt in years. Of course, and next time you don’t have to ask. You smiled into him, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. He eventually pulled back to check on you and planted a hand on your waist; he bid you goodnight with a wink, called you sweetheart and went home, leaving you standing like an idiot, mouth hanging open in a daze and still feeling the heat that had radiated off his palm and the grip of his fingers through your shirt on your skin.
‘Sweetheart’ played in your mind over and over for hours, days, weeks after that — soon enough you acknowledged that you weren’t immune to his charms and you’ve never looked back.
The flowers aren’t only for you to enjoy — you noticed early on that Joel takes great pride in his garden. The lawn always mowed, flower beds always with manicured edges, bees and butterflies in abundance. You’ve spent many hours lounging in the sun just admiring him, your book long abandoned — temples and greying curls damp with sweat, t-shirt clinging to his arms and back, gym shorts showing him off deliciously, all while he potters around tending to his garden, refilling a bird bath, touching up the fence and spewing out endless plant facts.
He even expanded the bed of tulips, planting bulbs of different varieties and an array of colours — ones with frilly edges, ones with pointed petals, and even blooms that look almost hand-painted in their beauty. He told you he’d been planning this for months, long before he met you, but you knew that part of him was doing this for you, too.
Late one night he finally told you the red and pink of your birthday flowers represented eternal love and affection, and sheepishly admitted he only remembered that once he’d already knocked on your door. He had hoped you wouldn’t ask him the meanings that night and figured there must’ve been someone looking out for him when you simply accepted them with a dazzling smile and that twinkle in your eyes. He wonders how things might have played out differently if you had asked him that night.
Now it’s Joel’s birthday and you want to do something special for him — so here you are, lying underneath him in a matching set, simple and white and covered in daisies. Propped up by his elbows, he traces over a flower right in the centre of your bra.
“You gonna tell me anything about them?”
“Daisies supposedly represent innocence and purity…” His voice fades off as he trails his fingers featherlight across you, goosebumps rising in his wake. With a faint smile pulling at his lips, he lifts his gaze to look you in the eye. “But something tells me you already knew that.”
He leans to kiss you, tongue licking into your mouth and you feel him pressed against your core, thick and heavy. You spread your legs wider to accommodate him and he grinds his hips into you, your fingers raking through his hair and tugging ever so slightly. He pulls back and starts snaking a hand down between you, now taken by the same applique daisies on your panties.
“Not sure those words apply right now, though,” he whispers to you, knuckles grazing the fabric.
“What, ‘innocence and purity’? You don’t think that’s true about daisies?”
“I ain’t talkin’ bout the daisies, sweetheart.” He smirks at you and you simply grin at him and huff a laugh in response as he shuffles down your body to pull your panties down your legs.
comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜
dividers by @saradika-graphics
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#jettsflora&faunachallenge
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7/4/24 ~ todays harvest 🍅✨
#food harvest#garden harvest#organic gardening#organic garden#grow food not lawns#sustainable gardening#indoor garden#container gardening#vegetable gardening#starting seeds#growing food#plant life#homesteading#heirloom varieties#heirloom tomatoes#plant mom
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Tf 141 and their s/o having auditory sensory issues
A/N: Just putting it out there that this isn't tied to any condition, just their fav lil human just being too overstimulated or under-stimulated when it comes sounds (this is also unserious and just me thinking of scenarios thats happened to close to my own experiences lol) Masterlist here!
Johnny, despite his playful disposition, is actually quite acutely aware of your mannerism and behaviors as you hang out with him and the rest of the guys.
Not in the way of being hyper-aware of it, just noticing how you've picked up on certain habits whenever he finds himself around you.
Just like how you're inseparable in wearing those bluetooth earphones he gave you for Christmas one time.
He notices that you have plugged them inside your ear holes so often that he wonders when you even charge them. He sees how you put them on instinctively whenever you two go out on one ear. He sees you plug it in deep whenever he's vacuuming around the house or when the neighbors are mowing their lawn. He sees you have them on when they get too rowdy while watching a game.
Point being-- you were never seen without it. Why?
One day, he casually brings this up with you while the other guys were out on an errand.
He loves watching you sway your hips to the beat of whatever song you're listening to-- but now he's just curious, interest piqued per se.
Before he let his thoughts spiral, he stood up from his chair by the kitchen nook and approached you with the intent of wrapping his arms around you and swaying to the beat of your rhythm.
"Bonnie," he kisses your temple, "wha'cha listenin' to?"
You giggle at the tickled feeling of his kiss and the way his arms slightly tickled your sides, all the while letting go of the pan for a moment to remove your earphones and let it hang around your neck.
"Just some Dennis Van Aarssen jazz music," you hum, "wanna listen to it too, bubs?"
He shook his head, instead letting his one hand wander to the ear piece you removed and fiddling with it before you plugged it back in once more.
"Just wonderin'..." he mutters, "why ya' got this on all this time? Did ya' love my christmas present that much?"
He tries to smooth it over with a joke when he felt you tense in his arms, but this made those thoughts he tried to push back in his mind resurface-- making him more concerned as to why you reacted like that.
Could it be your way of coping? Or dealing with some sort of stress the four of them can't see? Or a problem you haven't told them about and you're using it as a means to avoid it?
"Bonnie," he stops swaying with you and lets you turn to face him in his arms, and he could see that unsure look on your face, brows furrowed and lips being chewed on-- he knew he had to be concerned now.
"Bonnie, please." he tries a plea to make you open up. "You know you can tell me right?" He starts rubbing his hands up and down your forearms to both comfort you and silently urge you to talk to him.
This makes you breath out a shudder, hand going to your other ear to remove the ear piece that was still playing some music. With a tap, you paused it and finally look up at Johnny, face painted in concern with such gentle, reassuring eyes that you couldn't bear to hide it from him- or the rest of the guys- about why you did so.
You guessed he finally took notice of often you wore it, with or without them-- too many times that you figured that they charted it enough to become a cause of concern for them. It doesn't help the fact that you felt like you got caught red-handed and are now supposed to confess about something you weren't even quite sure of yourself.
So, you try to explain, despite how messy your thoughts and feelings are.
"I just," you fumble, "well, you know me, right? I like music-- just a whole wide variety of it and it just always help, i don't know, help with my moods?" You strung your sentence along, hoping it was coherent enough for Johnnny to understand, and once he nods- giving you the confidence to keep going- you continued.
"It just helps me with working, y'know? Keeps me motivated and focused and all that." You fingers start wringing themselves in sweat and nervousness. "I just-- I don't know specifically why, I guess? It kinda just occupies my mind? Sometimes helps with blocking out with some stuff too..."
Johnny nods in understanding, licking his dry lips before talking as he felt his throat run dry at the thought of your last words.
"So besides liking it," he starts slowly and he sees you nod in confirmation, "it... helps you with work, keeps you focused and finish, aye?"
You nod again.
"But," he dry gulps, "it's helping with blocking out stuff-- what are those stuff bonnie?"
You bit your lip, avoiding eye contact by burying your face in his chest and you can hear him coo, patting your head and wrapping his other arm- still around your waist- tighter.
"We can wait bonnie," he whispers with chin on your head, "but just know that we're always here for ya'."
"I know," your voice muffled in his chest and you feel it rumble in a chuckle.
"Ya' can take your time with it," he reassures you, hand going from your head to your back, rubbing it slowly. "no need ta' tell me now-- was just curious, y'know?"
You smiled onto his chest, and take a moment in his embrace-- to sort out your thoughts and feelings that you've been keeping under wraps from them.
"We're back!"
Your calming moment gets interrupted by the three arriving back just in time for lunch, storming their way to the front to kitchen to greet you two in excitement yet that gets halted as they see you in the position you were both in.
"Darlin'," John immediately puts down his stuff and goes to approach both of you, eyeing Johnny who just shakes his head as he tries to search a response from him.
"What's going on?"
You feel another hand on your back, and you turn to face him to reply-- "just talkin'."
John takes note of how your eyes looked more dimmed than usual, and was about to ask again until Simon came in with a scoff.
"Cut the bull luv," Simon crosses his arms, "we all can tell somethings wrong."
You sigh back into Johnny's chest, a bit irritated at how quickly Simon picks up on things. Johnny glares at the brit who just raised an unimpressed brow at him, as if telling him to be a bit more gentler with his approach. Simon just shrugs, standing on his point as he juts his head to the side, signaling that they should take the conversation somewhere else.
Johnny rolls his head but nods anyways at the silent conversation they had. Kyle, seeing the exchange, picks up on and vocally propose to postpone lunch to chat for a bit.
All of you nod and transfer over to the living room, where you were quite practically made to sit in front of all four of them-- well, make that three while Kyle sits besides you, holding your hand in his as he absentmindedly traces shapes on it.
"So," John starts and directs it to you, "what's goin' on?"
You hum, unable to make eye contact with any of them as you try to clear your mind by fiddling with Kyle's fingers.
"It's with those earphones bonnie wears all the time," Johnny starts for you after some silence on your end, "just asked 'em about it and found out the reason why it plugged in their ears so much."
"Was he talking to you Johnny?" Simon grumbled into his ear, grabbing onto said man's neck to pull him up to his mouth and Johnny feels a shiver go down his spine as he replies a soft, "no."
"Then let her talk."
John agrees and this time, urges you to make eye contact with him by tipping your chin upwards to his gaze, to which was now eye-leveled with you as he sat crouched on the coffee table.
"You can tell us anythin' darlin'," he reassures, "you know we just wanna help you, right?"
You nod in response and finally got the momentum to talk-- to admit it.
"I told Johnny that it helps with blocking out some stuff," you explained softly, "those stuff being my thoughts that are like distracting sometimes or like, when my surroundings gets too loud and it feels like too many stuff is going on inside my head in one moment."
Once you see John and the others nod, you guessed they wanted to know more and let you continue first.
"It..." you gulp, "also makes me feel, I don't know, less perceptive of my surroundings? It feels like I take in too much and having something playing in ears and blocking out all that just helps with limiting that." You cringed at your explanation. "Like sometimes, I don't mind the noise but sometimes it also just-- gets too much, and I just found that by using these earphones are my way of coping about it."
You gripped onto the cord earphones, as you felt stifled by the fact you were relying on something so much to get by your day. To you, its frustrating-- having to rely on something just to "normally" go about your day, and without it, it feels near impossible.
You then felt a hand lay on top of yours, the one that was tightly gripping the cord so much so that your fists had gone white. You lifted up your head to Simon kneeling besides you, unfurling your hand gently before intertwining it with his, and you could feel yourself relax more significantly than before.
The tension of expressing all that tightening your body and with Simon's simple gestures, he released all of that.
"So you get overstimulated by noise?" Kyle asks besides you and you shrug.
"I guess? If there was one way to put it-- then, yeah."
"We're sorry we didn't notice it sooner darlin'," John apologizes for everyone, "you know we could have helped you with that, right?"
You nod hesistantly, "I do... its just I think its silly."
"I don't think its silly," Johnny mutters, "I think its something we should try and address, really."
You stare at him, shocked for a moment.
"Its a problem you're facing luv, then we'll definitely take it seriously." Simon brings your attention back to him by placing his hand on our cheek and gently turning it to his direction. "Got that?"
You nodded more confidently this time.
"Need a verbal confirmation from you, luv."
You let out shaky smile, whispering a small--"yeah, got it."
The boys feel a bit heartbroken at your problem, seeing how much its affected you and how blind they've been to reacting to it. They feel partially responsible, knowing that they were sometimes the cause of that "noise" you want to block out, knowing they weren't the quite the silent type whenever they stay at home with you. From loudly talking during meals to cheering and jeering at their sports teams to just obnoxiously doing chores around-- they felt awful. Just picturing you looking at those earphones for comfort, and feeling to burdened to tell them about it so you try dealing it with your own.
And you did. Only because it was weird- to you- to ask someone to lower their voices when it came to talking in their own home. If they couldn't be comfortable in their own home, their safe space, then where else would they?
It was quite a conundrum you were stuck so long on that relying on those earphone was the best way to deal with it-- for the moment. Until you figured out a way to tell them.
Which eventually arrived you to this moment-- explaining all of this to them like an embarrassing story of pissing your own pants like a little kid.
"Darlin'," John starts with a heavy breath, "you know its not a hard ask right? We're your partners-- we're supposed to care for each other."
"I do too," you mumble, "that's why it felt weird to ask of you guys to adjust for me when you're already doing so much."
Their eyes soften at this confession.
"And we'll do more," Kyle states, "if its for you, I don't mind doing the little things you ask of us, sweetheart."
The others agree and you pout.
"I can't do that."
"Then we'll do it for you whether you say so or not." Simon decides for you, wiping the unshed tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. "I can tell, don't worry luv."
You roll your eyes at the exuding confidence of Simon's ability to read people and you hear him chuckle at your reaction, feeling him pinch your cheeks too in retaliation.
"Brat," he teases, "I'll let you off this time."
You then feel his touch let go from yours and somehow, find yourself in the arms of John who was gazing at you with such empathetic eyes that you feel bad for feeling like this.
But that thought was immediately removed from your head with a poke at the side from Kyle, "none of that sweets," he says with a cheeky grin.
John supports by adding onto it, "don't overthink 'bout it darlin'." He presses his forehead against your pounding one, but soon tides over as you find yourself matching your breath and pace with his.
"We promised to take care of you and we'll do that, okay?" He looks for your confirmation and you mutter a small, "yeah" in response.
"Just gotta tell us sweets," Kyle approaches from behind and wraps you in a hug as well. "don't feel like you gotta rely on somethin' else to make it through yourself."
"Let's take baby steps, a'ight?" Johnny huffs with a smile on his face, jumping in the hug as well. "we can work through it together, right LT?"
With his insinuation, Simon rolls his eyes and joins the hug as well with you in the middle.
"Together," Simon promises snarkily, tightly wrapping his arms around everybody only for you all to loudly complain and dissipate from the short-lived group hug.
Simon lifted his hands up in mock surrender while you pointed a glare at him.
"Just sayin'," he puts it other there, "you can just tell us to shut up and we wouldn't mind."
The guys stifle a laugh at how the picture of you doing that to them looked like in their heads-- and they just can't imagine you, of all people, doing that.
If you could, you would have already slapped the smirk of this man's face but you just poked your tongue at him instead.
"I could never do something that mean," you sneer, "unlike you."
This makes them crack-up again, and this time-- it makes you smile too, and Kyle catches it. Quickly pointing it for the others to do the same with only John standing back and observing all of his partners playfully get along once more.
He's happy that they finally got you to tell them of that lingering problem that on the back on everyone's mind but, tackling it was a different story. A bit of a tricky situation that comes with much planning and adjustments on all sides-- which all of you were willing to work on.
But as long as it made sure that you were happy, loved, and care for-- they were willing to spend game nights lowly cussing at each other and sending silent death glares.
Maybe it might be even more fun for them that way.
A/N: a bit of a half assed ending ngl, i feel like makin a part 2 to this before it this one gets too long and flesh it out a bit better ksahdkjsfakhhsa (but we'll see where this goes)
#tf 141 x reader#no beta we die like soap#crackfic#cod mw2#cod x reader#tf 141 x you#price x reader#soap x reader#tf 141 poly#ghost x reader#call of duty x reader#task force 141#gaz x reader#captain john price#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#tf 141 x reader poly#tf 141 comfort#fluff
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Hello! Would you mind please tagging your DND posts? I like hearing your thoughts on indie ttrpgs but I would like the option to mute stuff about DND if possible.
Thanks!
I'll consider it! In the past I've actually gravitated away from tagging my D&D posts because my posts tend to be more critical than not, and as much as I think D&D players should be receptive to hearing things critical of D&D I also don't want to shit on their lawn, but this is a good argument in favor of tagging them, and I've actually had a friend of mine telling me that I should tag my D&D posts for the exact reason of bringing a variety of voices onto the D&D side of Tumblr.
You know what anon, I agree, I'll start tagging my posts about D&D as "dungeons and dragons" and throwing Molotov cocktails inside the walled garden of D&D players. (But I've also made a promise not to talk too much about modern D&D in the future so most of my D&D posts will probably be about older editions.)
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Virgin!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
strangers to friends to lovers
★Teasers ★Locations ★My Masterlist
Summary: Eddie embarks on a new chapter after finally graduating. He expects to face a variety of hurdles that come with a change of scenery, but what he doesn't anticipate is falling head over heels for you.
Author's Note: Holy shit, I can't believe this is finally finished after 11 months. It’s the first time I've written smut in well over a year and I'm pleased with how it turned out (I couldn't have done it without the support of my beloved @eddiethefreakkmunson)
Location photos are linked above and in the fic at their first mentions. AU with no Upside Down, no use of Y/N, focuses on Eddie's POV, fluff and mild angst with a happy ending *wink wink*
Word count: 17.3k
Warnings: MDNI 18+! alcohol consumption/drunken behavior, subtly pervy moments, masturbation, fondling, dry humping, protected p in v, oral (f receiving), a little bit of praise & possessiveness, includes swearing.
Eddie was determined to leave Hawkins for good as soon as he tossed his graduation cap to the sky. He didn’t expect how expensive a venture like that would be, so he devised a plan. For a couple of months, he would stick around to save up a financial cushion.
To pocket every penny possible, Eddie took up odd jobs around town like mowing lawns and painting fences. With every task completed, he army crawled his way toward living life on his terms. He didn’t expect it to take him well over a year to save up enough cash.
On this sweltering afternoon, the atmosphere is charged with the promise of new beginnings. The summer sun peeks out from behind the dense clouds and casts irregular shadows on the dirt road of Forest Hills.
His van is packed to the brim with boxes of his belongings. After mentally checking everything twice over, uncertainty twists Eddie’s stomach into knots. What if I have car trouble? What if I get lost? What if it’s not everything I hoped it would be?
Wayne descends the concrete steps and joins Eddie. He lets out a belly-deep sigh that speaks volumes. You’ll figure it out. You’re gonna find your way. Your best days are ahead of you.
There’s a hint of sadness in seeing his boy take this significant step toward independence. But beneath that sorrow, profound pride prevails within Wayne. Eddie’s dreams reach far beyond the boundaries of Hawkins. Sticking around here won’t do him any good.
Eddie looks at the man who’s been his rock; the one who used to rise before dawn to plate crispy bacon and fluffy pancakes, meeting Eddie’s needs before his own. The memories are vivid as he reflects on the milestones his uncle guided him through. Without a doubt, Eddie wouldn’t be half the man he is today if it weren’t for Wayne.
His beloved van sits atop the very spot where he once wiped out while learning to ride a bike without training wheels. “It’s time to be a big boy,” Wayne said, urging Eddie to muster some faith in himself.
Reluctantly, Eddie mounted his small bicycle and clutched the rubber handles. With a push to set him off, he experienced the fleeting thrill of accomplishment as he pedaled forward. He only made it a few feet before his balance wavered.
The bike wobbled, sending Eddie tumbling to the gravel. His knees and palms bore the brunt of the fall, and the sharp pebbles embedded themselves into his scraped skin.
Wayne isn’t exactly a ‘rub some dirt on it’ kind of guy, but he isn’t the coddling type either. He cleaned Eddie’s wounds, slapped on some bandages, and told him to give it another shot. Faced with his nephew’s tearful protests, Wayne emphasized that just because failure stings, it shouldn't deter him from trying again.
“I guess this is it then.” Eddie wipes beads of sweat from his brow using the back of his hand.
“Yep, looks that way. It sure will be quiet without y’here. I got so used to living with all that racket of yours.”
“It’s called good music. You should take it for a spin sometime, it’s way better than that honky-tonk shit you made me listen to growing up.”
“I like my honky-tonk shit just fine, thank you,” They share a laugh.
Wayne will undoubtedly miss their banter, but it’s their Sundays together that weighs the most on his heart. Occasionally, the summer graces them with a few perfect days—pleasantly sunny with a stirring breeze. That weather maintained an unspoken tradition.
When little Eddie moved in, he was struggling to find his footing and hadn’t spoken much. Wayne took him to a serene lakeside spot where the water gently lapped against the shore.
He cast his line into the water in pursuit of a crappie dinner, and six-year-old Eddie gleefully played with the live bait. Over the years, their dynamic remained largely unchanged. Wayne watched his bobber from the swaying dock while Eddie kicked back in a folding lawn chair. It was simple father-son time that didn’t cost more than an afternoon or two. As of now, those days are over.
“You sure you’re gonna be alright without me, old man?”
Wayne shrugs and shoves his hands into his front pockets. “I suppose I’ll manage one way or another.”
“Take care of yourself,” Eddie says firmly.
“Will do. Oof-” Wayne chuckles when he’s abruptly hugged. He smooths over the back of Eddie’s head with his calloused palm.
The men hold onto one another, their unspoken sentiments conveyed in the silent embrace. They exchange a pat on the back before parting.
Wayne’s eyes follow his nephew as he closes the rear doors and makes his way toward the front of the van. “Eddie, one last thing. Remember to take your chances while ya got 'em and strike while the iron’s hot. Don’t let nothin’ pass ya by.”
Offering a firm salute, Eddie hops up and settles into the driver’s seat.
With Hawkins in the rearview mirror, Eddie sets off. Chicago may not be the sprawling metropolises of New York or Los Angeles, but it’s a world apart from his hometown.
It’s far enough away to provide a much-needed change of scenery, yet close enough that he can move back home if things go to shit.
The drive goes smoothly overall with a couple of instances of getting turned around. By the time Eddie is finished with the long hours on the road, he’s bone-weary.
His new place may not be the epitome of luxury, but it’s a roof over his head and that’s all that matters. After lugging his things to the fourth floor, Eddie can finally consider himself moved in. His apartment lacks furniture and decor, but it’s a space he can call his own.
The throbbing of an unbearable intensity plagues his thighs, a fiery reminder of the multiple flights of stairs conquered. He collapses onto his twin mattress and emits a low groan. The sound bounces off the bare walls and echoes through the studio apartment.
Eddie starts noticing the difference in sounds around him. Gone are the barking dogs and tires rolling over gravel. His fridge hums like the one in the trailer, which is nice, but it’s not remotely loud enough to drown out the argument happening in the unit above his.
When the noise finally subsides, he hopes to catch up on some much-needed sleep. But just a few minutes later, the ruckus rekindles. In a bid for tranquility, Eddie clutches his pillow to his ears to block out the animalistic makeup sex seeping through his ceiling. He’s praying that the man is a two-pump chump because this is a lot for a first night. Hell, it’s too much for any night.
In a matter of days, Eddie has already encountered a series of issues. Whenever he tries to use hot water, his shower head screeches like a banshee. And the upstairs neighbors? They wear bricks for shoes and have a hoedown at 2 a.m. on a nightly basis; that is, if they’re not at each other’s throats.
Job hunting has been fruitless. The gas stations, car washes, and tobacco shops turned him down for the same reason: no documented experience. This means that he’s going to be stuck with the makeshift bed frame he came with for a while, which is just wooden planks zip-tied together. He’s not sure how long it’ll be able to withstand his tossing and turning.
There’s good news, though. Eddie refused to succumb to defeat. Today, he strolled past a tattoo parlor and impulsively checked it out. When he approached the counter, Eddie was met by an imposing man with a rather unwelcoming demeanor. In spite of feeling a bit intimidated, he greeted the man warmly.
As expected, the shop owner Cliff, did not reciprocate. When Eddie inquired about job openings, Cliff promptly replied with a curt “no.” Eddie’s tone grew desperate and he nearly pleaded. Cliff became irritated and offered a non-existent custodial position just to get Eddie to shut up and leave.
Currently sprawled on the rickety mattress, Eddie holds Mr. Pickles in the air and looks up at him. His trusty plushie is a bit worse for wear, having had his seams sutured with crimson battle vest thread.
“We’re doing it, buddy. We’re finally doing it.”
Shortly after moving in with his uncle, he had trouble falling asleep in the unfamiliar trailer. Wayne, hoping to provide comfort, gifted Eddie the stuffed bunny. It swiftly became a treasured part of his life, symbolizing safety and support—two things he hadn’t received much of up to that point.
The floppy-eared companion got its name from Wayne’s favorite snack. Whenever his uncle would pop the lid on a fresh jar of pickles, young Eddie would erupt into a fit of laughter. He insisted that Wayne was going to transform into a pickle due to how fast he blows through a jar.
In his twenties now, Eddie still cuddles with Mr. Pickles every night. If his pal could talk, he’d tell him how proud he is. Eddie rolls onto his side and nuzzles the bunny’s worn fur. That smile lingers on his face while he drifts off to sleep, now with a sense of hope for the days ahead.
The time has come. Eddie has worn through his entire wardrobe and needs to make a trip to the laundromat. Having a washer in the trailer was something he didn’t fully appreciate until now.
Taking a quick look around his apartment, Eddie spots a cardboard box that’ll suffice in lieu of a laundry basket. He fills the box with the scattered clothes from the floor, slips on his sneakers, and makes his way out onto the street.
Nestled in the heart of his neighborhood, Eddie arrives at his destination. The air carries an overwhelming fresh scent of detergent. It’s not bustling by any means; there are only a handful of people here.
Compared to those who are well-versed in their routine, Eddie feels out of place. He chooses an available machine and plops his box of dirty clothes on the counter behind him. He inspects the front-loading washer, not versed in its functions and operation. Eddie goes to open the machine’s door but it refuses to yield.
His patience wanes with each futile tug. Just as frustration peaks, a sudden realization dawns on him, prompting a blush to sweep across his cheeks. There’s a lock hidden on the flip side of the handle.
With the press of his thumb, the lock disengages and the door screeches open. Hot under the collar, Eddie hastily scoops up his clothes and stuffs them into the damp drum. He slams the door shut with a mechanical click, the sound signaling the lock relatching.
This place lacks helpful signage, to say the least. The only one here displays the cost of running a cycle, but there’s nothing to guide newcomers through the process.
Eddie pulls out his wallet to retrieve a few quarters. After inserting them, he figures out the detergent tray without much trouble. But as Eddie presses the START button repeatedly, increasing his force with each press, the machine stubbornly refuses to respond.
“You have to choose a setting.”
Eddie jumps at the sound of your voice, his brows arched and mouth hanging open. “Huh?”
You walk over from the adjacent wall of driers a few feet away. “It won’t start unless you select a wash setting first.”
He looks at you like a deer-in-the-headlights, so you step in and set the machine to delicate for him. The washer springs to life and water begins to fill the drum.
“Ah, that makes sense,” Eddie says while rubbing the back of his neck. “These are so different from the one I had back home.”
“Where’s home?” You ask, resuming your task of folding your clean laundry on the nearby counter.
Eddie is visibly taken aback by your continued engagement. “A town in Indiana that you’ve definitely never heard of,” He starts to fidget with the detergent jug’s cap, though it’s already sealed.
Suddenly, Eddie feels self-conscious about his appearance. Talking to a cute girl wasn’t on the agenda today, he didn’t dress for this. He regrets choosing function over fashion; his denim shorts are an old pair of Wayne’s jeans that he cropped to wear while mowing lawns. The raw hems are messily frayed and the light blue is darkened with grass stains.
“Indiana, huh? You’re a ways from home then. What brings you to The Windy City?”
Eddie’s attention lands on your pile of clothes, subtly assessing your wardrobe choices. “Uh- just needed a change of pace, I guess.”
“Chasing the dream, right? Figured Chicago had more to offer?” You peek at him, catching his stare fixed on a pair of underwear at the top of the pile—a standard white cotton panty, nothing worth ogling.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, his posture stiffening when you make eye contact. He swallows hard, averts his gaze, and shifts his weight between the balls of his feet. “Something like that.”
“Did you bring your band with you?” You take the undergarment in question and fold it, seemingly unfazed.
As you move the folded pile into your laundry basket, his clothes start thumping inside the machine, causing suds to splash against the glass window.
Eddie’s brows knit together. “How’d you know I have a band?”
“You’ve got the look,” You remark as your eyes travel over him.
He leans back against the counter and crosses his arms. “Is that so? Do enlighten me, what’s the dead giveaway?”
“Your hair,” You suggest charmingly.
Eddie swishes his brunette curls like a lady in a shampoo commercial. “Too predictable?”
“I’d say it’s on brand. Let me guess, Slayer? Maybe a little Dio or Megadeth?”
Eddie narrows his eyes at you before looking down at his shoes. “Jesus Christ, you’re reading me like a goddamn book.”
You cock your head to the side, playfulness tugging at your lips. “And if I were to look for this book in a store, what name might I find it under?”
“Eddie,” He lets his arms fall to his sides. When you tell him your name, it bounces around in his head. How pretty, he thinks.
After lifting your full laundry basket, you step away from the counter. “Good luck with the dryers. Oh, and just a heads up, those doors lock too. Don’t go yankin’ the handle off unless you’re looking to take home a souvenir,” You giggle to yourself as you walk out of the laundromat.
Eddie’s mouth hangs open while he watches you leave. Once you’re gone, his attention drifts to the nearby bulletin board. Among the various flyers, one advertises an open mic night. He decides that he’ll check it out sometime this week.
At Double Barrel Bar, Eddie is swallowed by a sea of mainstream nonconformity. The bar-goers are dressed similarly to him, and while the crowd is mostly younger people, they’re still a touch older than him.
A symphony of clinking glasses and animated chatter collides with the thunderous live metal music. The dense haze of tobacco smoke and the distant clatter of pool balls only enrich the ambiance. The walls are adorned with framed music memorabilia and band posters, a mix of global icons and local talents.
Eddie is enveloped with nostalgia. This place reminds him of the gigs he used to play with Corroded Coffin, although they never played for an audience this size. Staring at the stage, he questions whether he could engage such a crowd and persuade them that he’s worth listening to.
Between two other men at the bar, Eddie takes a seat.
Lee, the bartender, greets him. “What can I get ya?”
Eddie shrugs and hooks his sneakers beneath the rung of the stool. “I'll take a cold one, whatever's cheapest.”
“You got it. Bottle or tap?” Lee wipes his hands on the white rag draped over his shoulder.
“Bottle is fine.”
Lee retrieves a bottle of beer and deftly pops the cap before sliding it over to Eddie.
His fingers curl around the icy glass, the condensation cool to the touch. Eddie’s plump lips wrap around the bottle’s rim and he takes his first sip. The crisp liquid trickles down his throat, offering a short-lived remedy for the stuffiness of the room.
As Lee tends to another patron, Eddie fidgets in his seat, causing the flier in his back pocket to crinkle. “So, you host an open mic?”
“Yeah, Thursday through Sunday. Are you any good?” Lee asks.
Eddie flips his guitar pick necklace between his fingers. “I like to think so. I guess you’d have to ask the ants in my kitchen, they’re the closest thing I've had to an audience lately.”
Lee snorts. “I've got a good feeling about you, I’m gonna reserve a spot.”
“Oh, uh- you don't have to do that.”
Lee waves his hand in dismissal and gathers the abandoned glassware from the now-empty seat beside Eddie. “No pressure, just swing by on Thursday if you’re interested.”
The opportunity intrigues Eddie, but performing alone is uncharted territory. Contemplating the offer, Eddie grapples with a cloud of self-doubt looming over his decision.
It’s been two months, and his routine is now established. Each day brings progress and a sense of reward, even though there have been occasional hiccups along the way.
Surviving the sweltering summer with a broken AC was sheer hell. He found himself spending ample time nude in his apartment or standing in front of the open freezer compartment of the refrigerator; sometimes simultaneously. Fortunately, September has arrived, and the temperature has begun to wind down.
Managing expenses requires a frugal approach, given the modest pay from his custodial job. Eddie resorts to taking power showers and using candles to keep his utility bill low.
Sometimes he forgoes meals to keep an extra couple of bucks on hand. But when he does eat, he opts for saltine crackers slathered in butter, bologna sandwiches, canned soups, and plain noodles. Occasionally he treats himself to store-bought pasta sauce, though it’s still the saddest spaghetti known to man.
Eddie faces skepticism from the seasoned artists at the tattoo shop, all military veterans who view him as an arrogant kid. Their perception fuels his determination to prove himself. To earn their respect, he’s dedicated to cleaning more thoroughly than he ever has in his life.
He’s become keenly observant, absorbing every detail of the professional tattooing process, despite never being included in those conversations. Within the circle of artists—Ace, Lunchbox, and Dozer—Eddie gravitates toward Ace, who becomes a mentor. Seeing Eddie’s genuine enthusiasm, Ace asks about his drawing abilities.
Although Eddie’s sketchbook is brimming with fantastical creatures, Ace can recognize a young man’s raw ambition and desire for direction and purpose. He takes Eddie under his wing, allowing him to learn the medium while on the clock.
After taking Lee up on his offer, Eddie found himself on stage every Thursday night. His performances were rusty, as he hadn’t played in front of anyone since before he was working his ass off to get here.
As he strummed through the jitters, Eddie rediscovered the sanctuary that music had always offered. It felt like a part of him had resurrected, reviving the passion he sorely missed.
Playing Thursday nights may not rake in tips like the weekends would, but he’ll take what he can get. Eddie’s been saving up for some pre-owned furniture, and he’s happy to snag any extra cash he can for it.
Life is good right now. The worry about moving back home has lessened, and he’s genuinely amazed at how smoothly things are going. Just when Eddie thought things couldn’t get any better, a Saturday night slot opened up at the bar.
It would be twice as busy, packed from wall to wall with people who could bare witness to him fucking up. Doubt crept its way in, but when Lee mentioned that Eddie could pocket thirty-five bucks or more by the night’s end, it was a no-brainer.
Tonight marks his debut Saturday gig. Stepping through the red brick archway and out onto the stage, the creak of the rustic boards beneath his feet sends a ripple up his legs. Eddie hasn’t even made it to the mic and he’s already forgotten what foot he’s supposed to be stepping with next.
Beneath his t-shirt, his back grows slick. A lump lodges itself in Eddie’s throat, causing his voice to crack when he introduces himself to the room. Amidst the overlapping conversations and the flushing from the nearby restroom, the amassed noise seems muffled. The strong winds in his head distort the sounds, whirling like a twister.
Eddie hooks his guitar up to the amp and forces himself to take a deep breath. As he tunes his instrument, the upheaval begins to settle. Gradually, Eddie finds unity with his guitar and concentrates on perfecting the tone.
Throughout the performance, there’s a persistent undertow of nerves refusing to fully subside. In spite of his efforts to lose himself in the music, his fingers occasionally falter as they dance on the strings.
At the end of his set, Lee can be heard whooping and hollering over the sparse clapping. With a sense of relief, Eddie packs up and makes a beeline for the bar, eager to ease the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Normally, the rush is akin to a high, but this time around it’s so intense that he’s dying to dial it back a notch.
He splurges and orders something a bit fancier than his usual bland beer. Why not celebrate a little? Eddie claims a recently vacated table in the bustling crowd, seating himself on the leather stool adorned with studs. His eyes roam the room while he takes a swig of his drink, savoring the superior crisp taste.
His attention zeroes in on a figure just feet away, a quick recognition igniting in his mind. Eddie recognizes you instantly, due to the scarcity of memorable encounters he’s had.
Eddie observes from afar, observing your mannerisms as you execute your waitressing duties. You must only work weekends, which would explain why your paths haven’t crossed again until now. When your eyes meet his, a shock shoots through his body.
He sits in rapt anticipation as you make your way over. Time seems to stretch unbearably from your previous spot until you finally stand opposite of him, separated only by the circular wooden table.
A courteous smile graces your face—a skill that waitresses must master if they want to pay rent. “Ready for another?”
Eddie stares back at you. His eyes drift down to the almost full beer bottle in his hand. The cogs in his skull are scraping, unable to put the words you’ve said to him in a comprehensive order. He nods without making a peep.
You pivot to leave, but then turn back to him and lift a brow at his unaltered dumbstruck expression. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you don’t look it.”
He remains silent and shakes his head sheepishly, feeling foolish for agreeing to another beer and then changing his mind just because you asked again. Is there more dignity in being indecisive than a bumbling mess?
“You were just singing up there for nearly an hour,” you call him out, folding your arms and tucking your serving tray against your side. “I know you can talk.”
Eddie clears his throat, but he ends up making an odd sound. “Uh, my throat’s a bit sore, that’s all.”
“Did you forget to do your vocal warm-ups or what?”
“It probably sounded like I did,” Eddie laughs, the self-deprecation evident.
“Not at all, I thought you were great.”
“You did?” Eddie’s lips curl at your compliment. Heat blooms on his cheeks, amplifying the full-body perspiration. He takes a casual sip from his beer, a guise to moisten his dry mouth and escape your intimidating gaze.
“Totally, you really come alive when you’re up there,” you rest your forearms on the table’s edge. “Is it just Eddie, or do you go by a stage name?”
No way. There’s no fucking way that you remember him, his face is so forgettable it’s not even funny. Lee had to have said something about who was filling the Saturday night spot. Eddie is inwardly thrilled to hear his name roll off of your tongue, but he tries to maintain his composure. “I suppose not, I guess I never thought about it.”
“You could pull it off, it suits the whole ‘one-man show’ thing you’ve got going on,” You say while giving him a once-over. The intrigue on your face is unwavering as you walk away.
He’s drunk, he has to be. Or maybe his drink was spiked somehow. The room is spinning and he feels nauseous as all hell, despite only having taken a few swigs from his beer.
A short while later, Eddie’s bottle is half-empty as he sits, continuously replaying the moment in his mind. More specifically, he can’t stop thinking about the sparkle in your eyes; he’s never seen anything like it.
He snaps back from his daydream at the sight of your return, this time with an unopened beer in hand. Eddie looks nothing short of puzzled as you slide it across the table toward him. “Uh, no thanks, I’m-”
“Relax, it’s not for you. I’ll be clocking out in six minutes. I wanna hear more about that small town of yours. I mean, as long as that’s okay with you. I understand if you have other plans tonight.”
“No!” Eddie exclaims. “I mean, yes it’s more than okay, and no, I don’t have anywhere to be.”
You glance downward while scuffing your shoe against the floor. “Okay, cool. Keep it cold for me then?”
“Yeah, for sure. You can count on me.”
Shit shit shit. How is he going to keep this beer cold? Of course, ways to heat it flood his mind. If you come back to a lukewarm beer, that’ll be the end of him. He’s going to fuck this up and any chance of getting to know you will be squashed.
When you join him again, your drink is still cold and the bottle has left a ring of moisture on the paper coaster. Eddie’s unsure of how he managed to not lose it; if he’s capable of anything, it’s misplacing something when his only responsibility is to keep it in his possession.
As you slide onto the stool beside him, you’re quick to inquire. You ask him typical ice-breaker questions at first, and Eddie responds with a plethora of details. At times, he goes off on tangents. You don’t appear bothered by it.
Eddie talks about his ability to learn how to play songs by ear, and he delves into the intricacies of his favorite Dungeons & Dragons campaigns that he’s created over the years. He earnestly tries to convey its depth to you and throughout his ramblings, he doesn’t miss the concentrated look on your face as you try to keep up.
Lee is nearing the end of his cleaning routine and the other waitresses have left for the night. Neither of you is aware that the bar is devoid of a crowd, scorching lights, and blaring music.
Eddie has been too busy asking you about your origins and passions, his wide eyes and attentive demeanor affirming his genuine interest. Just as he mentions working at the shop and you’ve asked him how many tattoos he has, you’re interrupted.
Lee stands beside the table, armed with a damp rag and a spray bottle. “Awfully hard to wipe the seats when your asses are still on them. Scoot your booch,” Lee instructs by motioning toward the entrance.
Eddie doesn’t hesitate to slip off his stool. You, on the other hand, take your sweet time.
“Have a good night,” You say and give Lee’s shoulder a friendly pat.
Uncertain of his next move, Eddie hesitates while you make your way to an unmarked door. It’s half past two in the morning, and he feels a tug of concern about you leaving by yourself.
There’s a very good chance that you’d consider him clingy or intrusive if he waits here. Eddie opts to stand outside. He props himself against the building and idly nudges a loose chunk of concrete with his shoe to keep himself occupied. Soon after, you emerge into the night.
The slam of the heavy door prompts him to straighten up. “Hey.”
“Oh, I thought you left,” you admit and adjust your purse strap on your shoulder. “Thanks for telling me about Hawkins the Hell Hole.”
“The pleasure was all mine. Do you, uh…” Eddie inches forward, his Reeboks scraping loudly on the pavement. “Would you like me to walk you home? It’s pretty late.”
“I don’t live far, it’s just a few blocks.’
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you around then?”
Your eyes twinkle brighter than he’d previously seen. “I’d say the odds are in your favor.”
“Goodnight. Get home safe,” He says with a half-hearted bow.
“Likewise,” You reply, biting back a giggle.
Eddie watches you fade into the darkness along the unlit patches of sidewalk. Once you’ve turned the corner, Eddie smiles from the surreal sensation of floating on clouds.
In this moment, the feeling of joy is so potent that it’s borderline palpable. He’s the embodiment of elation, a soul soaring high. It’s a feeling he wishes he could bottle up and carry with him forever.
The next Saturday plays out much like the previous one, save for one detail: it’s considerably tougher to concentrate on stage knowing who’s in the audience. Post-performance, the routine echoes that of the prior week. The two of you gravitate toward the same table as before, establishing it as the one you’ll always sit at.
At first, a hesitation lingers before diving into more personal topics. However, as the night progresses and more beers are consumed, you seamlessly fall into them. Eddie weaves elements of drama and romanticism into his past, making it utterly engrossing for you to listen to.
When you propose getting together outside of the confines of the bar for the first time, Eddie eagerly accepts your invitation to show him around since he has yet to do any sightseeing.
Eddie is swept up in an exuberant wave of boyish excitement, and it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt. He never experienced it during his teenage years like the average person. The sheer thrill of having an instant connection with a girl is an entirely new feeling for him.
Week after week, your laundry days are synchronized and you’ve started the habit of making silly faces or giving each other the finger just because. During the late nights spent together at Dove’s Diner, Eddie finds enjoyment in seeing you eat. It’s a peculiar fascination, but it makes him happy. Seeing you completely at ease while enjoying greasy food is endearing to him.
When he arrived in Chicago, Eddie couldn’t shake the feeling of not wanting to move back to Hawkins. Even so, he wasn’t experiencing the same comfort here as he did in that cramped trailer.
There was a longing for familiarity that he had in his old surroundings. Eddie didn’t want to have to go back home in order to feel that sense of belonging again. He had his doubts about ever truly adjusting to life here until you came along. In your company, the foreignness of the city fades away, replaced by that feeling he’s been missing.
Several times, he’s been working in his sketchbook, adding to the pin-up style figures and faces that bear a striking resemblance to you. While engrossed in drawing, he hadn’t picked up on the similarities. But when he absentmindedly drew a simple heart, that's when it occurred to him.
Eddie like-likes you.
As your shift comes to an end, you head to the back room to gather your belongings. Eddie stands idly at your claimed table, picking at his hangnails while he waits.
“When’re you gonna ask her out?” Lee asks while tidying up nearby.
Eddie laughs heartily at the idea. “How about never.”
“You should. I can tell she’s into you.”
“Yeah, right. I don’t stand a chance.”
Lee puts down his spray bottle and looks at Eddie. “Listen, I’ve known her for a while now. Trust me on this,” he dumps a used ashtray out into a trash bag.
Eddie emits a noise of disbelief, his mind flickering back to the painful lesson he learned in his youth—he’s no one's type. Lost in reflection, he doesn’t realize you’ve returned with your sweatshirt draped over your bent arm.
Despite the tiring evening, you're upbeat in his presence. “Okay, I’m ready! I was thinking we could get some takeout and watch TV at my place.”
“Sure, I could eat,” Eddie says with a grin. Lee is shaking his head, looking particularly smug.
Your apartment is the polar opposite of Eddie’s, the difference is like day and night. It has a homey atmosphere and there’s a notable absence of wear and tear. He does have band posters, framed personal photos, and furniture, but they fail to create the same inviting ambiance that your apartment effortlessly exudes.
Seated beside Eddie on your couch, you tease him. “You’re terrible at this.”
“I’m trying!” He attempts to mimic your technique, but the piece of chicken repeatedly falls from his chopsticks.
“I can see that,” you stifle a laugh. “And you’re total shit at it.”
Out of frustration, Eddie impales his sweet and sour chicken with both sticks.
Glancing your way, he catches you smiling ear to ear, watching him. Eddie smiles back as he chews. “What? This way works just as well.”
You laugh and refocus your on the TV while resuming your meal. Eddie swears that you’re sitting closer to him than when you first sat down. Your thigh is almost touching his and your shoulder is just as close.
The paranoia subsides as he gets lost in thinking about how he can feel the heat radiating off of your bare thigh. But Eddie’s pulled back to reality when your chopsticks cut across his vision and dig into his takeout box.
He doesn’t mind, not really; sharing is caring. Having said that, when you lean over to look into the box, your shoulder bumps against his. A particularly appreciative sound escapes your lips, one that’s borderline pornographic.
“That’s really good, I’ll have to get some next time,” you hum and place your takeout box on the coffee table. “Or I could just keep stealing yours, it tastes better that way.”
Eddie is frozen, eyes unblinking. As you return to your spot on the sofa, you’re unquestionably closer this time. Your beautiful skin is on display in those shorts of yours and your bare thigh is brushing against his own. He could choke on air right now if he were still breathing.
You look over at him, your brow furrowed. “You good?”
“Yeah, yep. All good,” Eddie avoids making eye contact and stares blankly ahead. “Peachy keen.”
“Okay, weirdo,” you brush off his abrupt awkwardness and scoot toward the edge of the cushion. After gathering your trash, you look at him. “All finished?”
“Mhm,” He replies weakly and extends his box toward you.
With your arms full, you head into the kitchen, leaving him by his lonesome in the living room.
Eddie releases a heavy sigh and drags his hands down his face. Your absence allows him to reenter his body, but it only makes him keenly aware of his not-so-subtle half hard-on that’s outlined through the thin fabric of his shorts.
His eyes widen in alarm and panic takes over. “Shit!” Frantically brainstorming ways to conceal it, Eddie spots a fuzzy blanket at the far end of the couch and he retrieves it, draping it over his lap. While he tries to make himself look as casual as possible, he catches a glimpse of your approaching shadow just before the kitchen light is switched off.
In the few seconds he has left, Eddie tries out various hand placements, but none feel quite right. Every position feels forced and conspicuous.
As you stride back to the couch, your sweet expression eases some of the tension in his bones. “I got a bit chilly,” Eddie blurts out, hoping to preempt any impending questioning. “Is it okay if I use this?”
“No, I’m totally gonna tell you that you can’t use a blanket for its sole purpose.”
Eddie laughs nervously, “Alright, alright.”
This is arguably worse, being wrapped in your scent. It’s awfully hard not to get any harder when your natural smell is flooding his head. It’s intoxicating, and he finds himself inhaling deeply to capture as much of it as he can.
“What’d I miss?” You ask while plopping back down beside him.
The continuous movement causes Eddie to clench his back molars together because an image surges before he can even think to suppress it. He’d bet all the money he has that you’d look stunning on top of him. There’s fantasy looming alongside the image; Eddie wonders what you look like beneath your clothes.
“Nothing, you didn’t miss anything,” He mutters. When you start to squirm against the back of the couch, Eddie shoots you a questioning look. “You got ants in your pants?”
You huff, “No, there’s an itchy spot on my back. Could you scratch it for me, please? It’s driving me nuts.”
“Oh, um, sure,” Eddie fumbles for words as you angle yourself and present your back to him. “Where is it?”
“Right between my shoulder blades.”
Eddie’s eyes zero in on the outline of your bra strap that’s visible through your shirt across your back. Given his luck, that would be the target. Just to be cautious, he starts by scratching at the higher middle part of your back.
“A little lower.”
Eddie swallows hard as his fingers tentatively inch their way down. His belly begins to swirl the closer he gets to the clasp, but thankfully, you stop him just before he reaches it.
“Right there! Yeah, harder.”
If this goes on too much longer, Eddie could very well pass out. But, per your request, he applies more pressure. Beneath the blanket, the discomfort has only intensified—his arousal is now raging with a persistent ache.
“Oh my god, finally,” You say appreciatively and settle back into a more relaxed position.
The overwhelming urge to touch himself skyrockets as his body begs for friction. Eddie repositions himself to adjust the blanket, hoping to keep his erection concealed. From the corner of his eye, his gaze drifts along your figure, pausing at the rise and fall of your diaphragm as you watch TV.
A jagged breath falls from his lips, but he’s determined to clear his mind. Realizing that he can’t leave here tonight with your blanket as a shield, he has to find a way to distract himself by the end of this program.
Miraculously, he survived. Now lying in his bed, Eddie is surrounded by the darkness, save for the glow of the moon and the faint residual light from the streetlamps filtering through the broken blinds. Eddie stares up at the ceiling while his mostly naked body responds to the vivid recollections swarming his train of thought.
On any ordinary day, Eddie would resort to the routine of using his hand and lotion to relieve himself. Be that as it may, the stirring in his core demands a different sensation.
With the thought of you weighing heavily on his mind, there’s an alternative means by which he’s going to alleviate the frustration and desire that’s grown too loud to ignore. Eddie, already shirtless, yanks his boxers off in a swift motion and kicks them off carelessly. Moving onto his knees, he leans over the edge of his bed and retrieves a pillow from the floor.
He sits back on his heels in the middle of his bed and contorts the stuffing with intent. For a moment, he’s not sure how he wants to use it. His body’s impatience grows, causing his erection to bob expectantly.
Eddie licks his lips in anticipation and sets the bent pillow down with the bend facing him. With one hand, he firmly holds the makeshift toy in place. With his other, he strokes himself languidly, blotting the fabric of the pillowcase with precum as he taps his cock against it repeatedly.
Experimentally, Eddie rolls his hips downward, thrusting the sensitive underside of his length against the smooth material. His eyes fall closed, and he can’t seem to pick just one aspect of you to fantasize about, not when every inch of you is so captivating. Eddie grunts, “Yeah, you like that?”
He adjusts his hips, angling them lower to get more friction. The heat blooming causes Eddie’s jaw to go slack. The usual five or six minutes have been halved as the thought of your smile makes Eddie embarrassingly close already.
Wanting to get in a few more thrusts before he’s spent, Eddie pistons himself against the pillow. “Tell me how badly you want me, I wanna hear you say it.”
With one fist continuing to pin the pillow down against the mattress, Eddie trails his other hand up his pale, slender stomach. He digs his gnawed-down nails into his skin, leaving red streaks behind, as he tries to imagine it as your touch. Eddie doesn’t know what it would feel like if it wasn’t his hand, but the thought of you is more than enough.
Devoid of any visual aid, the absence of a magazine or porno tape isn’t hindering him. Typically, when Eddie only has his imagination to utilize, he can beat off without finishing until he eventually gets bored and gives up.
This time it’s different. As his thoughts run wild, Eddie’s rhythm falters. The bed frame squeaks, and the wood shifts while he thrusts as hard as he can.
“Uhhh,” A coarse moan pours from his throat as his cum shoots onto the pillow. Eddie’s thrusts slow to a stop and he pants. The tension in his abdomen gradually subsides as he floats his way back down to earth.
His eyes flutter open, and he’s faced with the mess he made. “Fuckin’ hell,” With a sigh, Eddie decides that he’ll deal with it tomorrow.
After changing into fresh boxers, he chugs down a glass of tap water. Utterly exhausted, Eddie collapses back onto his bed. The aged frame creaks in protest to his abrupt flop. The intensity has been burned away, and what lingers is rawness.
Here’s the thing, Eddie has a way with words, and his unconventional charm comes without a second thought. But conveying himself physically is a different story. His upbringing lacked affection, and consequently, Eddie was robbed of particular milestones. Among those missed moments was sitting on the grass beneath a starry night sky on summer night.
Eddie never got to pluck the green blades from the ground as he gathered the courage to have his first kiss. He hasn’t so much as held someone’s hand before.
With Mr. Pickles tucked under his chin, a wave washes over his heart, wading him further into the tide of ache. Eddie may be inexperienced but he’s not stupid. He’s picking up what you’re putting down. Your persistent hints practically scream at him to make a move.
But your persistence only worsens the anxiety because Eddie’s not sure that he can take the leap like you want him to. It’s not that he doesn’t want you, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s uncertainty about what to do if he gets to be with you.
Eddie’s drawn to you, his poor pillow could tell you that much. This isn’t the first night he’s spent laying here trying to talk some sense into himself. When he practices being smooth instead of awkward, Eddie struggles to navigate through the hypothetical scenarios that he’s in complete control of.
If his bedroom walls could speak, they’d tell of those nights. But after the sinful act he just committed, they have a hell of a lot more to say. Those bold utterances were far from who he is. It was a facade, a portrayal of a self-assured man he’ll never embody.
Talking dirty made him feel powerful in the moment because the mask allowed him to avoid facing how he truly feels about you. At his core, what Eddie craves is to baby you, he wants to show you that he can be sensitive. He’d die on the spot to see you in a state of delight from being showered with adoration.
Eddie closes his eyes and envisions a world where he can be what you want. He’d never be oblivious to having food in his teeth, and he’d never push a door that should be pulled. This false reality is one where he doesn’t disappoint you by shying away from your advances. It’s unrealistic, he’s just not wired that way.
During his younger years, Eddie endured the worst of taunting. The other kids mocked his short frizzy curls by referring to it as a “rat’s nest.” They told him that he’d resemble a troll until his dying days. It was ingrained into him that he was unworthy of any form of love—be it familial, platonic, or romantic. The remarks made about Eddie’s prominent nose convinced him that he was a walking safety hazard and he’d poke someone’s eye out if he ever dared to kiss them.
In the seventh grade, Eddie hit a breaking point. He was fed up with having chewing gum put into his curls. There are too many times to count where Wayne sat for hours with a jar of peanut butter, attempting to free the cemented wads from his nephew’s locks. One day, Eddie stood in front of the mirror in the cramped bathroom and cried at the discovery of another bright pink clump of gum tangled in his hair.
It may have been just one piece at that time, but it was the final straw. Out of desperation, Eddie did the only thing he felt would solve the problem for good. By taking matters into his own hands, he used the clippers to give himself a buzz-cut. As chestnut-colored locks cascaded down, settling atop the sink and his feet, the damage was done.
Wayne lent a hand in handling the patchy spots in the back of Eddie’s head that he couldn’t quite reach. The impromptu solution worked as he’d hoped, but it only opened the door to different torment.
The following school day, his classmates didn’t hold back, likening his appearance to that of an inmate waiting to meet Old Sparky, or cruelly suggesting that he resembles his imprisoned father.
Eddie quickly came to understand that he was never going to be the guy girls wished would ask them to the dance. The scars of rejection were etched into his self-esteem, and since then, he’s come to terms with his inadequacy.
Perhaps you’re interested in Eddie because there are still things you don’t know about him. Surely, once you learn how unworthy he is, you’ll laugh in his face just as the others did.
Tonight he’s shielded from the nightlife commotion inside his van, parked along the curb outside your apartment. He sits patiently, watching the pine tree-shaped air freshener gently sway with the feeble push of air from the AC vents.
It’s Friday night, and there’s nothing he’d rather do than spend it with you. Eddie directs his attention toward your building as you descend the steps of your apartment’s stoop.
Eddie detects the effort, even from afar. Your shoes look new and you’re wearing more makeup than he’s used to seeing you in. These differences have him pondering the significance behind the deliberate choices.
When Eddie casually suggested catching a movie a few days ago, he hadn’t thought much of it. To him, it was merely something you hadn't done together. He didn’t think twice when you got so excited about seeing a late-night showing of Die Hard.
It’s dawning on him that it wasn’t because you’re a big Bruce Willis fan. The reason you’re all gussied up is because this is a date. He asked you out on a date.
This is not a problem, per se. Eddie’s thrilled about going on his very first date, but fear also has him in a chokehold because he’s unprepared.
Wayne never took the time to give his nephew the lowdown on dating. It didn’t come up because Eddie never displayed interest or curiosity about it.
He’s at a loss. Eddie doesn’t know how to carry himself, he doesn’t have a clue about what’s considered proper etiquette beyond what he’s seen on TV and in movies. Are those even reliable sources?
As you cross the sidewalk in his direction, Eddie’s palms grow slick. It suddenly registers that he should be outside, ready to hold the car door open for you. But before he can act on this realization, you swiftly swing the door open and slip onto the passenger seat.
"Hi," You chirp, the sound almost a squeak as you close the car door behind you. You subtly adjust the bottom of your dress before securing your seatbelt.
“Hey,” Eddie’s eyes wander over your body until he finds himself admiring your bare knees.
With a jolt, his eyes snap back to your face, only for you to be watching him with a pleased expression adorning your features.
Eddie clears his throat and busies himself with turning over the ignition. “You look nice,” he scrunched his face. “Pretty! I meant to say you look pretty.”
"Thanks," you reply appreciatively and inspect your freshly painted nails to ensure they’ve withstood the indecisive wardrobe changes of the past half hour.
Throughout the brief drive, engaging in small talk grants Eddie a temporary respite from his brain being in overdrive. Determined to maintain composure, he makes a conscious effort to avoid looking your way.
Eddie successfully carries the conversation as you enter the lobby and get through the refreshments line. Luckily, you secure the last two seats at the end of a row; he’d have been mortified if the theater was oversold and there weren’t any seats left.
The first half of the movie goes as one would expect; you’re comfortably seated beside him, occasionally whispering commentary to each other. Meanwhile, Eddie shovels fistfuls of over-buttered and under-salted popcorn into his mouth, crunching away as the scenes progress on the screen before him.
But then there’s a subtle shift in your body language. He assumes that your inability to sit still might be caused by the need for a restroom break. That is until your knee gradually inches closer to his.
The film has become an afterthought as Eddie watches you place your hand on your thigh, noticeably close to his own that’s casually hanging off of the armrest. It’s impossible to differentiate the pounding pulse in his ears from the blasts of gunfire booming through the theater.
When your fingertips graze his, Eddie rips his hand away to reach for the bucket of popcorn that’s resting in the ditch of his opposite arm. “Want some?” he fails to whisper while offering the bucket to you.
The explosive flashes of red and yellow harshly illuminate your face and without a word, you shake your head and go back to the movie.
Eddie puts the bucket back where it was, and in the hopes of distracting himself from the guilty tingle in his feet, he fidgets with his wristwatch. Repeatedly, Eddie clasps and unclasps it, making the strap incredibly loose and uncomfortably tight around his wrist.
A few minutes go by and without warning, his heart stops because you unexpectedly rest your head on his shoulder.
As if struck by lightning, Eddie leaps to his feet. The motion launches the bucket of popcorn into the air, and the people in the row in front of you are showered with kernels. He's as stiff as a board as he’s confronted with mild uproar and a chorus of expletives.
Red-faced and unsure of whom to apologize to first, Eddie turns to you. “Shit! I’ll go get another one,” He doesn’t wait for your response and rushes down the stairs, practically leaping over them two at a time.
After bursting through the double doors and out into the empty hallway, Eddie brings his palm to his forehead, his other hand propped on his hip while he paces. Once he’s able to collect himself, Eddie heads toward the lobby, only to find that everything is powered down.
Eddie decides to use the little time he has to rehearse what he’ll say. There might not be anything he can do to play off his peculiar behavior; at least, nothing that he can think of at the moment.
As he shows up empty-handed, Eddie doesn’t overlook your rigid posture. Your left leg is crossed over your right, pointing away from him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that you’re just upset that he wasted the popcorn and didn't get more.
In your lack of questioning, Eddie feels compelled to explain himself. “Concessions were closed, so…” He gestures with upturned palms, but you don’t acknowledge that he’s spoken or come back.
Not having received a response, Eddie resorts to chewing on his thumbnail and his leg bounces in tandem. Lost in his head, he finds it increasingly difficult to focus on the remainder of the movie.
Exiting the theater and stepping out into the parking lot, Eddie’s voice lacks confidence as he walks alongside you. “What’d ya think? I give it a solid six out of ten.”
You reply with a casual shrug and wrap your arms around yourself. “It was alright.”
“How ‘bout I treat you to Dove’s? Wanna go for a bite?” Eddie suggests to salvage the remainder of the evening.
“I’ll pass. I’m not hungry,” you say curtly, taking a step ahead to open the passenger door for yourself, denying Eddie a second chance to hold it open for you.
“Oh,” Eddie begins, but his sentence is severed by the slam of the door. “Okay,” he finishes with a sigh.
During the drive back to your neighborhood, the air feels dense. The radio commercials do little to fill the space between you.
Upon the front tire nudging the curb, you get out of the van before Eddie has put it in park. He hurriedly follows suit, rushing over to catch up with you as you head toward your front steps.
“I had a good time tonight. Did you?” Eddie blurts out.
Pausing in your steps, you turn around and face him. “Yeah, I guess.”
Knowing that he’s the cause of your deflated spirit punches a pang to his chest. Eddie offers a gentle expression. “Would you wanna go again sometime? Probably best if you hold the popcorn though,” he chuckles uncomfortably.
“Night, Eddie,” You say with finality before letting yourself into your apartment.
Once you’ve gone inside, dejection overtakes Eddie’s features. “Goodnight,” he mutters to himself, biting the inside of his cheek.
Sifting through the mental archive of wisdom passed down by Wayne, Eddie desperately rummages for any guidance that could apply to his current situation.
Eddie has officially had the world’s worst date, and it very well could be the only one he’ll ever get to go on. It only hurts more that the outcome was entirely his fault.
You’re avoiding him, that much is obvious. You stopped showing up to do laundry together and while he performs, you intentionally keep your back turned to the stage.
After your Saturday shifts end, you no longer stick around to hang out with Eddie, instead choosing to leave with your fellow waitresses.
One would think that it was a tough decision, but it makes perfect sense to him. Eddie gives up playing on Saturdays to avoid crossing paths with you. He reverts to his old spot on Thursday nights.
It’s a way to protect himself while making things easier for you. He can’t fathom how repulsed you are by his presence at this point.
Eddie sits at the folding table in his living room, his feet hooked with one another. The blaring thrash metal fills the room as he meticulously drafts tattoo concepts, completely absorbed in his sketchbook.
The incessant ringing of the telephone hardly cuts through the music. Eddie ignores it for the first two rings and lets out a reluctant huff before pausing the tape and picking up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Heyyy, can you come get me?” Your cheerful request weaves through the lively chatter and honking car horns in the background.
Not having seen you in two weeks, your voice hits him like a wall. “What for?”
“M’ready to go home.”
Eddie reads his watch and leans against the wall. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“You know what, forget it. I’ll just walk home.”
“Absolutely fucking not. What bar are you at?”
“Errr, The Dugout I think.”
“Stay put, alright? Wait for me inside, I’ll be there in a few,” After hanging up, he recklessly shoves his feet into his Reeboks and snatches his car keys from the counter.
Eddie arrives, expecting you to be inside. But there you are, sitting on the curb, right where you shouldn’t be. He calls out to you and jogs over, dodging a few bar-goers on the way.
At first, you turn your head the wrong way when you hear your name called. When you spot him, you scramble upright. “You came for me!” Excitedly, you raise your hands above your head and it slightly throws off your balance.
“Holy shit, you’re plastered,” Eddie half-scoffs, half-laughs. His eyes roam your body, and he immediately takes notice of your scraped and bloodied knees. “Jesus, what happened?”
“Huh?” you ask, your drunken buoyancy unaffected by his evident concern. Following his guided point, you simply shrug. “I dunno, can’t remember.”
“You’re not here by yourself, are you?” Eddie scans the area, looking for any signs of someone accompanying you.
“Mmm... no, well yes. My girlfriends were here but they left.”
Eddie scoffs, “You’ve got some shitty friends.”
“Good thing I have you. My very own knight in shining armor is here to rescue me!”
“That tower of yours must’ve had quite the mini bar, princess,” Eddie remarks.
“Let’s go,” Eddie instructs, heading toward his van with the assumption that you’re following. Peeking over his shoulder, you’re practically tripping over your own feet.
The long strap of your purse slides off your shoulder, snags on your bent elbow, and the bag thuds against your calf.
“What am I gonna do with you, hmm?” He steps back, takes hold of your purse, and throws it over his shoulder. Then, he wraps his arm around your waist and holds you snugly to his side, determined to get you home safely by whatever means necessary. After helping you into the passenger seat, he reaches over to fasten your seatbelt. “No hurling in here, got it?”
“Yes, sir,” you salute before sitting back so that your head is supported by the headrest.
Getting you up the stairs was the hard part. He unlocks the apartment door and gently steers you toward the bathroom.
You make a feeble attempt to resist, grasping onto the door frame before finally yielding to your waning strength.
Eddie lets go of you and begins to rummage in search of supplies.
“Okay, Eddie Bear. I’m ready for my bath,” You slur, leaning against the wall for support as you start to ease yourself into the tub.
“Eddie Bear, huh? That’s new,” he snorts before glancing over. “Oh, no you don’t. C’mere,” Eddie grasps you by the waist once more, guiding you to sit on the closed toilet seat.
With both hands, he cradles your booze-warmed cheeks, unintentionally pushing your lips into a pout. “Stay put, would ya?”
Mumbling to himself, Eddie goes back to gathering the first aid supplies. “I look away for two goddamn seconds. Nothing but trouble, I swear.”
The pout doesn’t leave your face and you cross your arms with an annoyed huff. As the seconds pass, it's as though there’s elevator music playing in your head while you wait for something to happen.
Eddie crouches at your feet. “So, what’s your justification for getting shit-faced on a weeknight?” The tip of his tongue peeks out from between his lips as he begins wiping away the dried blood on your knees with a damp cloth.
“Boys are dumb, that’s why.”
“I know, aren’t they just the worst?” Eddie concurs with a hum. He stands to rinse the cloth, washes his hands, and then fully gets to his knees on the tile floor to apply ointment.
“Yeah, they are,” Your voice trails off as you look at his fingers resting firmly on your thigh, just above your knee, to prevent any inadvertent movement.
Engrossed in your own little world, you start humming an improvised tune. “Like them so much,” you sing-song to yourself.
Eddie glances up at you briefly. “What’s that?”
“Your hands,” you explain and poke each of his knuckles with your index finger. “You’ve got such nice fingies.”
“Fingies?” Eddie smiles as he secures bandages over both of your knees. He withdraws his touch from your thigh and he takes hold of your hand, turning it palm-side up.
“Mhm, the nicest.”
“Yours are nice too,” he comments as he cleans the scrape on the heel of your hand. As Eddie admires the intricate lines and wrinkles across your palm, he inadvertently brushes the cloth directly against your wound.
You make a high-pitched fuss in reaction to the sudden contact, reflexively pulling your hand away.
“Shit, sorry,” Eddie apologizes earnestly. He applies the ointment before applying a bandage. Rising to his feet, he theatrically brushes off his hands. “There, good as new.”
You reach out to him in a toddler-like manner and make grabby hands at him.
Eddie laughs and leans against the door frame. “I’m not carrying you. Brush your teeth so we can get you into bed.”
“You’re no fun,” you groan while you stand awkwardly, the bandages restricting full movement. You wet your toothbrush and squeeze toothpaste onto it, making sure to shoot a scowl at Eddie as you do.
After lackadaisically brushing your teeth, you plop the brush back into its cup. “There, squeaky clean. Happy?”
“As a clam,” Eddie says with a grin. He steps back to allow you out of the bathroom. “Go put your PJs on.”
With a dismissive wave, you drag your feet to your room and begin to dig through your dresser drawer.
Just as he’s about to start picking up after himself, he’s interrupted.
“Eddie,” You call out defeatedly.
“Yeah?” When he doesn’t receive an immediate response, he cautiously steps into the doorway of your room. There you stand, still wearing your dress.
“I can’t reach it,” You say, turning your back to him and bowing your head slightly, signaling that you need his assistance.
Eddie swallows hard and mutters under his breath, “Right, the zipper,” Stepping into the room, his hands start to tremble.
Now positioned behind you, he carefully takes hold of the small piece of metal. Despite the trembling, Eddie tries his best not to make contact with your skin as it’s revealed by the descending zipper.
Dizziness consumes him as his eyes flit between your shoulder blades. Once your dress is completely unzipped, Eddie takes a significant step backward, putting distance between the two of you. “Is that all you need?”
You return to sifting through your pajama options. “I think so.”
Eddie retreats to the bathroom. The image of your bare back is seared into his memory, he’s just gonna have to live with it etched into his mind forever.
After regaining his composure, he locates some aspirin and fills a drinking glass with water. “Are you decent?” Eddie asks hesitantly, not daring to step closer to the threshold without receiving confirmation.
“Uh huh,” You mumble, flopping onto your bed and committing to the first position you land in.
Holding the cup of water and two tablets of pain relief, Eddie re-enters your bedroom. He finds you sprawled and droopy-eyed lying on your back.
Eddie’s chunky metal rings clink against the glass when he sets it down on your nightstand. “I think you’ll appreciate this little visit from the aspirin fairy come morning. You’re gonna feel like shit.”
“Okay,” you murmur, your attention glued to how his strong nose casts a shadow on his cheek in the glow of your bedside lamp. Flipping onto your side facing the door, you yawn and stretch your toes.
Eddie gathers the jumbled blanket from the other side of the bed and drapes it over you, covering you up to your shoulders with care.
Although he wants to, he refrains from tucking you in, concerned that you might trip or get more hurt if you need to get up. “Well, goodnight.”
Just as Eddie turns to leave, your weak grasp seizes his hand before he’s out of reach. It stops him in his tracks, and his gaze follows the path from your joined hands, tracing up your arm until his eyes meet yours.
Fighting to keep your eyes open, you’re teetering on the edge of consciousness. “I don’t want you to go.”
He returns without needing any further invitation and sits on the edge of the bed by your belly. Releasing his hand, you rub your eye before tucking your fist beside your head.
Looking down at you affectionately, a grin graces Eddie’s face. He watches as your eyelids flutter closed, and your breathing becomes slow and steady. “Such a sleepy girl.”
With your eyes cemented closed, you adjust your head on the pillow before drifting off to sleep. Eddie stays put for a minute or two, simply admiring you. He’s never seen something so precious.
His heartbeat rattles his ribs, just as it did the first time he saw you waitressing at Double Barrel. That static-like tingling plagues his extremities as an old thought resurfaces. In those conversations where you shared your life stories, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to be kissed by you.
Eddie’s eyes brim with tears at the fact that his presence is solely due to your inebriation, and this closeness it’s about to expire. “God,” he exhales, rolling his eyes skyward to hold back his tears.
“Sleep tight, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers, pulling the blanket a touch higher over your shoulder. Then, he switches off the lamp and leaves you to rest.
Dwelling on the fact that you won’t remember tonight won’t do him any good. Getting this close to you would have never happened in sober circumstances. At least he got to take care of you in the way he always wanted, even if only for a short time.
Over the past few days, Eddie has been thinking about how he felt when you relied on him to get you home. He’s curious whether the call you made to him signifies that you still want him in your life. If that happens to be the case, then he can work with that.
Going through with this might worsen the sting of rejection, but Eddie has his heart set on mending things.
Within moments of entering the bar and scouring the room for you, he spots you conversing with Lee about a table’s order. Eddie begins to pat his thighs in an erratic rhythm as he feels his insides lurch.
As soon as Lee notices Eddie, he wraps up the conversation and gets back to work. You observe Eddie, noticing the hopefulness on his face as he strides across the room. “Do you need something?”
“Not necessarily. I was wondering if I could uh, make you dinner or something?” Eddie kicks one foot with the other and totters back and forth in place.
Your expression changes to one of disbelieving annoyance. “I can slap together a PB&J at home, but thanks.”
“No, no. I’m serious, I’ll make whatever you want,” Eddie insists.
“What for?”
Eddie briefly looks away, scratching at the nape of his neck. “I miss hanging out with you.”
“I don’t know,” You ponder with uncertainty, your gaze monitoring the occupied tables in case you’re needed.
“Let me cook for you. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
His pleading eyes wear you down. “Fine, when?”
A bright smile spreads across Eddie’s face, stretching from ear to ear. He bounces on his tiptoes with enthusiasm. “I’ll call you tomorrow and we can set a time then.”
“Sure, yeah,” you respond, your attention diverted to a booth on the far side of the room where the seated customers wave you over. “Look, I gotta go.”
You’re already back in work mode and walking away before Eddie can say anything else. He just stands there, incapable of shrinking his smile to a mere grin.
Bowing his head, Eddie pumps his fists at his sides in a moment of triumph. With the opportunity for redemption sitting in his lap, he has his heart set on making things right.
In the days leading up to the agreed-upon dinner, Eddie makes several trips to the library, hunting for a recipe for the meal you mentioned. He dips into his emergency savings to purchase extra ingredients, dedicating his time and money to practice making it.
The first go around, he forgot to add two crucial ingredients, resulting in a bland and tasteless dish. Eddie couldn’t let it go to waste, so he settled for the less-than-impressive dinner that night.
On the second attempt, he tried to compensate for the previous mistake by adding more than enough seasoning. He didn’t exactly do it on purpose; it poured out of the canister much faster than Eddie expected. Regrettably, that meal went straight into the trash. Eddie couldn’t stomach a forkful of it.
Eddie absolutely, positively cannot fuck this one up. He can’t afford to, both figuratively and literally. Without a doubt, if he serves you a shit dinner, you’ll push him out of your life for good.
When you knock on the front door, the perceived silence on the other side of the door is broken with a clatter and muffled cursing. The quiet resumes and hangs in the air for a couple of seconds before the door swings open.
There stands Eddie, hair a little tousled. “Hello, hello!”
His stomach does somersaults at the sight before him; your clothes accentuate your figure, and your skirt suits you. Once again, you look stunning and appropriately dressed for a date.
Meanwhile, Eddie doesn’t have many options to choose from. The most formal thing he owns is a button-up shirt and it’s too dressy, but it’s all he has. Paired with it are his holeless black jeans. Before today, he never thought it was possible to be both over and underdressed at the same time.
“Come on in,” Eddie says, stepping aside with reluctance, allowing you to enter his apartment.
As soon as he opened the door to you, his mind turned into a whirlwind of second-guessing himself. The shirt is definitely too formal, but Eddie wants to prove that he knows it’s a date this time, and he means for it to be one. If only he owned an iron so that the material wasn’t as wrinkly as it is.
He wants to prove that he can clean up nicely, evident from the scent of aftershave and cologne. Eddie meticulously clipped his fingernails and tidied his eyebrows, ensuring that he is as presentable as possible.
“This is my castle,” He gestures to the space.
The entirety of the afternoon was spent tidying up and Eddie couldn’t bear to leave a single surface undusted. Any potentially embarrassing materials were tucked away and he washed all of his dirty dishes.
As you enter and survey his studio apartment, he takes the opportunity to rake through his bangs with his fingers. You spot his sketchbook sprawled open on the guitar amp and pick it up.
“Oh, those are nothing, you don’t have to-” Eddie moves forward and reaches out, intending to retrieve the drawing pad, but pauses when you point to the sketch he recently finished.
“This one,” you trace the lines of the drawing with your finger before looking over at him. “I’d get this one.”
“You’d let me give you ink?” There’s a hint of insecurity and surprise in his voice as he subtly retrieves the sketchbook from your grasp.
“Maybe. It depends if you’re still shit at it,” you shrug casually, interlocking your hands behind your back as you assess the living room area. Your attention falls on the antique bookshelf, adorned with miscellaneous items and framed photos. “Has Cliff let you take clients yet?”
“No, you’d be my first real canvas,” Eddie admits.
As you continue looking around, his gaze is one beat ahead of yours. His eyes land on it just before yours do, and his stomach drops upon spotting the one thing he forgot to hide.
“Oh my god!” You squeal, rushing over to the couch and scooping up Mr. Pickles. “Who’s this cutie?”
Pale as a ghost, Eddie stares blankly back at you. How the fuck did he forget to hide the one thing on this planet that rids him of all masculinity.
“I’ll introduce you another time,” Eddie silently urges you to put Mr. Pickles back in his spot, desperately hoping you’ll never bring it up again.
In actuality, he should be thanking himself for the oversight, because you look far more high-spirited than when you stood outside his door.
“I’m looking forward to it,” You brush over the matted fur on the bunny’s head before carefully placing him back on the sofa.
The tension dissipates on his body as he picks up on the change in your energy. It’s reminiscent of how happy you were to see him when you were drunk. But this time is different; it’s genuine, rather than influenced by alcohol.
You’re lured into the kitchen by the incredible aroma, and the steaming food matches the enticing smell. “There’s no way in hell you made that.”
“You bet your ass I did,” Eddie retorts with his hands on his hips while he makes his way from the front door to the kitchen.
You step closer to him. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” you purr, inching closer until your toes nearly make contact with his socked ones. With featherlight pressure, you place a tender kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”
Eddie’s internal circuits fry as he tries to process the fact that he just got kissed on the cheek for the first time. His lungs refuse their vital function, denying him oxygen. He retreats by half a step, attempting to mask the blazing rosiness of his face.
“For god’s sake, I’m so sick of whatever this stupid game is.”
“What game? I’m not-” Eddie panics.
“You get me to throw myself at you by doing thoughtful shit like this, but when I finally make a move, you act revolted.”
“I swear to Christ I’m not playing with you. I mean, I’m not trying to,” Eddie explains, his words jumbling together. “I know I've been making a total ass of myself, and tonight was supposed to fix that. But I just- I keep screwing up because I like you and you make me so nervous.”
You scoff, halfway turned toward the door. “That’s hard to believe. You flinch if I so much as bump into you. You don’t want to touch me, I get it.”
A pang of guilt hits him like a baseball bat to the stomach. “No no no, I do! I wanna touch you,” Eddie admits. “Look, you mean so goddamn much to me. You deserve someone who can make you feel good, and I can’t do that.”
Still guarded, you sound agitated but you turn to face him nonetheless. “What are you talking about?”
His voice lowers, a whisper of shame. “I don’t know the first thing about pleasing a woman. Nobody wants to fuck the dorky virgin, y’know?” Eddie’s vision blurs from the tears veiling his vision.
You frown at the vulnerable quiver in his voice. “I do, I’ve been wanting to.”
“Don’t bullshit me,” he lets out a humorless laugh. “I wouldn’t be able to make you cum.”
“I have to disagree with you on that. You’re a fast learner,” You extend your hand to him at waist height.
Eddie stares at your outstretched hand, struggling to process the gesture. He holds his breath, torn between his anxiety and trust. Cautiously, he places his hand in yours.
The benevolent hold pulses a flash flood through his being, the frigid water jolting his systems alive. When you intertwine your fingers with his, the clamminess is evident against the softness of your palm. Insecurity floods him, worried that you’ll be repulsed by it.
Cracks of lightning electrify Eddie’s heart, rendering him unable to meet your gaze. Instead, he focuses intensely on your joined hands. “I have no idea what I'm doing though.”
“That’s okay,” you assure him with a confident smile. Giving his hand a slight squeeze, you add, “See, not so scary anymore, right?”
Eddie shakes his head, even though fear is still coursing through his veins. You pick up on his hesitation and knowing that he won’t do it himself, you guide his hand to your hip and leave it there.
He sort of caresses, not out of boldness, but seeking to alleviate the numbness in his fingers. The sensation has already spread to other parts of his body.
Your patient expression, graced with a grin, grows into a bright smile when you meet his eyes. Eddie’s confidence blossoms, and he uses his other hand to cradle your cheek.
Acquainting himself with the contours of your face, his thumb strokes lightly from beneath your eyes and along your cheekbone. He starts to smile too as his nerves give way to the feeling of reassurance.
As you tilt your head into his touch, your eyelids flutter closed, and you grasp at the loose sides of his shirt, pulling him closer. He steps forward willingly, but his voice retains an uncertain tone. “I really wanna kiss you, but I’ve never, uh…”
You lean in, and the tip of your nose gently brushes against his. The thundering of his heart in his ears drowns out everything but your voice.
“Close your eyes and follow my lead, okay?” The warmth of your breath encircles his lips, turning his knees to jelly.
Eddie can’t even whisper a confirmation. At your request, he closes his eyes, leaving him solely reliant on his other senses. The smoothness of your lips against his registers as a gentle peck with just enough pressure for him to feel it. It lingers, and he finds himself incapable of moving his lips in response.
“Want another?”
With his eyes still closed, he murmurs, “Yes, please.”
Devilishly, you press a kiss to his wrist, the hand that is still gently cradling your face.
Eddie’s eyes open, a pout and a scowl simultaneously forming his reaction. “Nu-uh, right here,” he insists, leaning in eagerly. He’s caught up in the desire to feel it again but he’s still hesitant to initiate the kiss himself.
You happily close the gap and this time, Eddie slightly purses his lips against yours, doing his best to follow your lead. After giving it a few tries, he feels you withdraw but his head instinctively follows, chasing your lips.
His eyes swirl with affection as he grapples for something to say, feeling breathless and dumb. “Fuck, I don’t wanna stop doing that.”
“Then don’t.”
Finally, Eddie’s able to pursue, but only a fraction of a second before you. With determination, his pecks carry more verve. It’s easier than he thought it would be; granted, he can rely on his ability to keep a steady rhythm, a perk of being a musician.
Eddie didn’t think this could get any better—that is until your lips slot perfectly between his, wet and warm. He pauses, malfunctioning once more. As you kiss him deeply, his mind is dusted in a golden haze and it feels as though he’s floating within himself. Enveloped by the sensation of your hands on his collarbones, a soft noise escapes him.
Mortified, Eddie freezes. Instead of deterring you, it only spurs you on. You wrap your arms around his neck and mold your body against his. The intensity of the kiss only escalates, he’s chasing your storm, matching your every move.
Your fingers entwine in the curls at the nape of his neck, coaxing more noises from him. Eddie is so far gone that he’s unaware of the growing bulge in his jeans. His hand leaves your cheek, traces down your shoulder, and along the outside of your arm before clinging to your waist with both hands.
You hover over his lips, a stream of electricity fizzling between you. “Is it okay if I take my shirt off?”
Eddie forgets to respond but then nods fervently. With curious eyes, he watches intently as you lift your shirt, unveiling skin he’s never seen before.
He inhales and exhales shakily as your necklace falls back into its place against your chest. It’s not a swinging pocket watch, but Eddie is entranced nonetheless.
“You said you wanna touch me,” you draw his trembling hands up your sides. “Now’s your chance.”
Eddie’s hands ascend and meet the silky band of your bra, and you guide his palms forward to the plush foam padding. Your reassuring hold is encouraging, but Eddie tears his stare from your breasts to check-in. He finds you already looking at him, exuding a sweet demeanor. “Give it a try.”
Eddie’s Adam’s apple bobs in the thick column of his throat, his hands unmoving beneath yours.
“Like this,” You squeeze your hands twice before removing your guidance and allowing him to proceed at his own pace.
Adrenaline motivates him to cup them independently this time, and his cock twitches as he commits to the action.
“You’re doing great by the way,” You offer a smile.
Growing more confident, Eddie applies more pressure. His thumbs move in tandem, brushing over the area where your nipples are concealed. The innocent delight in his eyes burns dark into frustration after a few squeezes. Eddie huffs in annoyance at the fact that he’s only getting handfuls of padding.
“Easy, tiger. Want this off too?”
Heartened by the lack of ridicule, he feels safe. Regardless, Eddie fails to articulate more than a few words, his heart lodged in his throat. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Come sit,” You suggest, taking his hand in yours to lead him to sit on the edge of the bed.
As he sits, Eddie thanks himself for having washed his sheets for tonight, despite never imagining that this would happen.
When you release his hand, both of them return to the plush of your waist, making himself at home there. The straps of your unhooked bra drape loosely on your arms, and his pupils dilate as the foam cups gradually gain distance from your body.
“Holy shit,” Eddie says under his breath, his bottom lip shining after a swift swipe of his tongue.
Your hips receive an involuntary squeeze as his patience begins to waver. He then slides his hands back up to your ribs, using his thumb followed by the heel of his palms to graze the bottom of your breasts.
With a sigh of relief, Eddie no longer has to daydream about what they might look like. His beautiful brown eyes roam over your body like you’re a masterpiece, a sculpture carved from stone solely for him to admire endlessly. Savoring the moment, he takes his time to appreciate every second. Eddie doesn’t take your trust for granted.
After a minute or two, you scoot backward onto the mattress toward the pillows. “Let’s get more comfortable.”
He watches you recline half-naked on his bed, and his belly swirls at the sight. Eddie follows suit, crawling to you. Now positioned between your legs, Eddie hesitates as he looks down at you, your hips not making any contact.
His touch resumes at your waist, but this time he’s stroking the expanse of your tummy; it inadvertently brings comfort to both you and him. Until this moment, he’s never had the chance to see the tiny details on your face up close—the distinct aspects that compose your sheer beauty.
Eddie’s hazelnut curls hang over his ears as his gaze trails over your neck and chest. His intense adoration makes you want to hide, but the unease is melted away when he captures your lips with his own. Eddie feels like it’s already been too long since he last kissed you, the deprivation like that of extreme thirst.
Goosebumps prickle his fully dressed form, a surge of belonging filling the cracks in the surface of his heart. Timid pecking is a thing of the past, each kiss more fervid than the one before it. The wet click of your lips drowns out the inhibitions buzzing in his ears.
Eddie’s large hand paws at your breast, his thumb playing with your pebbled nipple, drawing a whine from the back of your throat. You tug him closer by his jeans, bringing his hips down against yours. Regardless of the denim barrier, this causes a change in him. When you lift your hips against Eddie, he grinds back just as needily.
As your lips part, he begins a trail of affection along your cheek, jaw, and down your neck. When Eddie reaches your collarbones, his mouth moves hurriedly. He’s itching to fulfill the longing that’s been something he’s imagined plenty of times before. Kissing every inch in his descent, Eddie hunches over and takes your nipple into his mouth.
The melodious sound that pours from you makes him painfully harder. His cock strains against the metal zipper of his jeans, fighting to defy the taut material. You arch into his mouth, and Eddie continues to grind against the apex of your thighs.
He licks his way across to give much-needed attention to your opposite breast, all the while maintaining stimulation on the other with his thumb. Eddie suckles and flicks his tongue, his breath hitting your bare skin like a sweltering midsummer heat wave.
The reciprocity of sincerity is blowing his mind; the way it feels to have your hands weaving through his hair. There’s a slight tug when your fingers catch on a knot, and the sting only fans the flames burning in his lower belly.
Eddie releases your nipple, leaving it bereft of the heat of his mouth. Following his previously explored path up your chest and neck, he bashfully looks into your eyes. “Could I, uh, kiss you down there, too?”
“Normally I’d have to ask for head. Are you sure?”
The melted milk chocolate of his irises practically drips off of his lashes as he blinks at you. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to taste you for so long.”
“I’m not entirely convinced,” You coax him playfully.
“I’ll just have to prove how starving I am then, won’t I?” Eddie quips, moving out of the way to remove your skirt. As he does, the waistband slips from your hips and he slides it off your legs.
You’re in nothing but your panties and the white cotton is not particularly sexy, but they sure are familiar. That day at the laundromat, Eddie never imagined he’d see you in this exact pair at some point. He wonders if you did.
His fingertips tap their way up your thighs until they reach the band of your underwear. You look so cute with your hands resting across your belly like an awaiting princess—his princess.
Much like the skirt before it, the garment is tugged down the curvature of your legs. Your knees knock together as your legs reflexively close. Meanwhile, Eddie is mesmerized by the damp patch on panties hanging from his fist.
“You wanna keep 'em?”
Eddie nods with feigned innocence. These would go to good use, he thinks.
“They’re all yours,” You grant his wish.
“I feel so spoiled,” he says while tucking them into his back pocket for safekeeping. Then, Eddie redirects his attention to the living art laid out before him. “Especially for getting to see you like this,” he drags his fingertips along the outside of your calves until they reach your knees.
Your legs fall open, proudly putting your glistening cunt on display for him.
“Fuck,” Eddie says, moon-eyed. He repositions himself between your legs, lying on his stomach. Drool pools on his tongue, his mouth just inches away from your body. With one arm wrapped under your thigh, Eddie uses a finger on his free hand to collect the wetness that’s all for him.
“Don’t be a tease,” You fuss.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Eddie responds, ready to put his new skill to use. It starts with a testing press of his lips against your clit. He works his way lower, mouthing at you messily, making out with your cunt. Eddie licks his lips and rests his cheek against your inner thigh. “Can I use my fingers too?”
“Yeah, just take it slow,” You gather his hair and keep it out of his face so it doesn’t get in the way.
Eddie glides two digits through your folds, admiring the way the pads of his fingers glisten with the mix of your slick and his spit. Slowly, he eases his two fingers into your entrance. They sink deeper without facing resistance, and you soak him down to his bottom knuckles. Eddie looks up at you from between your legs, amazed. “You’re so wet.”
You sigh, propping yourself up on your elbows to meet his gaze. “You own a mirror, don’t you? How could I not be.”
Flattered, Eddie smiles. He draws his fingers back before plunging them into you a little faster this time, though not by much. As you lay back and get comfortable, you instinctively roll your hips downward with each thrust of his fingers.
With his cheek still resting on the inside of your thigh, he’s unable to bring himself to speed up, downright mesmerized by the sensation of your velvety walls squeezing around his fingers. When he accidentally flexes and curls them upward, it elicits a pretty gasp from you.
Eddie’s gaze flits up, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “What was that?” he teases and does it again, deliberately. “Did you say something?”
You moan, “That feels amazing,” You run your hand up your belly to your breast, massaging yourself in tandem with his improved technique.
He finds a steady tempo, rubbing the spot that makes your nerves flare. With nothing else on his mind, Eddie is fully engrossed as he drives his digits into you. Your fingers suddenly appear before him to rub your clit for added stimulation.
“Oh my god,” You moan unabashedly, arching your back off of the bed in response to the heightened ecstasy.
“You like that?” Eddie looks up at you, feeling a rush of pride as you writhe.
“Yes- fuck, I’m almost there.”
Eddie boldly nudges your hand away with his nose, swiftly replacing your fingers with his tongue, flicking it passionately.
Your moans fill his ears as he laps at you, enjoying the way you taste when you unravel. He’s so in the zone that he fails to realize you’ve already reached your peak and become overstimulated.
You squirm in his grip, gently pushing his forehead away. “Eddie, Eddie!”
“Yeah?” His fingers stop abruptly, and he looks at you with doe-like eyes, your glossy sugar smeared all over his lips and chin.
“It’s too much,” You say exhaustedly.
“Shit, my bad,” Eddie frowns, disappointed that his fun has come to an end. He slowly withdraws his digits, admiring the way you’ve coated them. He drags his fingers down his tongue like your arousal is cake batter from a bowl. A low hum emanates from Eddie as he sucks them clean, inadvertently making a show of it. “God, your pussy tastes good. Even better than I dreamed it would.”
“Come here,” You beckon him, smiling blissfully.
Eddie wastes no time getting onto his hands and knees and crawls up between your legs. Hovering over you, he gazes into your eyes, cheeks dimpled. “I made you cum.”
“I can’t remember the last time I came that hard either,” you chuckle, noticing the sheen on his face. You grab your discarded shirt to wipe it off. “Here, let me-”
“No!” Eddie angles out of your reach, his brow furrowed. Using his still-sticky fingers, he wipes at his lips and chin, licking his digits clean once more. “Can’t let it go to waste.”
After you tuck his frizzy curls behind his ears, Eddie’s tender grin fades. Your hands slowly move down his pecs to his belt, and you tug at the metal buckle. Just as you free the leather from the prong, he stops you.
“Uh- wait.” The hesitance in his voice brings your pursuit to a halt. The way you shrink back causes his heart to squeeze.
“I’m sorry. We don’t have to go all the way if you’re not ready.”
“It’s not that. Believe me,” Eddie reassures you. He brings a hand to the side of your face and strokes your cheekbone with his thumb. “I’m just worried that you’ll never wanna see me again ‘cause I'm so terrible in bed.”
Your shoulders raise and lower with the deep breath that you take. “You said you want to make me feel good, right?”
“More than anything,” Eddie declares in a heartbeat.
“Your cock would.”
Eddie nearly shudders and his voice burns raspy. “Yeah? You want it?”
You hook your fingers through his belt loops and tug, staring back at him intensely. “Not want. I need you inside me.”
“Christ,” he gulps and presses his hips forcefully against yours, dampening the denim. Eddie lowers his mouth to your shoulder and kisses it. “I wanna know what it feels like so bad.”
You turn your head and nibble his earlobe. “Let’s take care of that, shall we?” When your hands return to his partially undone belt, Eddie doesn’t intervene this time.
“I don’t have protection though.”
Blindly, you unbutton and unzip his jeans. “Side pocket of my purse.”
Reluctantly, Eddie pulls away and awkwardly scoots backward off the bed. His pants hang low on his slender hips, exposing the snug elastic band of his blue plaid boxers. After finding the condom, he inspects it. “I have no fucking clue how to use this.”
Sitting up, you hold your hand out. “I can put it on you if you want.”
Eddie hands it to you, then it occurs to him that he’s still fully dressed. While you’re tearing the foil package, he yanks down his jeans and kicks them away, his belt jangling. Only a few buttons are undone from the neck before he gets impatient. Eddie tears his shirt over his head, leaving his mane disheveled.
He pulls at the waistband of his precum-soaked boxers indecisively, but the sight of your beautiful naked body reminds him that it’s only fair. Eddie pulls them down and his anxiety has caused him to go partially soft. When you look at him, he wishes the world would swallow him whole.
Your eyes rake across his slim frame, then meet his eyes instead of drifting below his waist. Eddie climbs back onto the bed, sitting on his haunches. You crawl onto your knees to join him and pull his body against yours, kissing him.
Mumbling against your lips, he tries to apologize for already failing you by being unable to stay hard, but his words falter as the kiss deepens, his worries becoming an afterthought. Eddie grips your waist, and the sensation of your breasts pressing against his bare chest makes him feel woozy. As soon as you break the kiss, he’s immediately filled with fear once more. “If it’s small or it looks weird, don’t tell me.”
You effectively distract him from his insecurities by trailing your lips down his pulse, dragging your teeth along the supple skin there. Eddie grips your ass harshly, a shaky sound pouring from his throat as you kiss your way down his body. He watches, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.
As you finally look at his shy cock, you run your palms up and down the sparse hair on his outer thighs. “You’re the perfect size for me,” You compliment him with a smile.
“I am?”
You suck a bruise on the pale skin of his waist. “Yeah, you are.”
Eddie’s eyes close, his hands resting on your shoulders as he focuses on the sensation of you licking and biting him. Lost in the feeling rather than inside of his head, Eddie’s cock gradually rouses.
Having previously set it aside, you grab the condom. “Hold it still for me, please.”
“O-Okay,” he secures it at the base, his palm covering the trimmed thatch of curls. “Like this?”
“Perfect,” With one hand, you fit the band around the tip, and with your other, you roll the latex down his shaft. That alone causes Eddie’s mouth to fall open, a ghosted moan tumbling from his lips.
“There, easy peasy,” Sitting back up and wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him flush against you. His wrapped, twitching cock is trapped between your bodies. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
“I’m not sure I could if I tried,” Eddie says, his eyes flitting between yours. “Is this really happening?”
“It’s happening,” After kissing the tip of his nose, you settle back bringing him down with you to get comfortable, your head resting on the pillow.
Eddie returns to the previous position, this time with your legs hiked around his hips, causing his cock to rub against your mound. Afraid of poking around too much, he asks, “Would you do the honors, m’lady?”
“Why, of course,” you say with a giggle. You guide the head of his cock right where it needs to be and look into Eddie’s eyes. “Go ahead.”
He swallows hard and inches his hips forward, the tip of his cock breaching your entrance. Eddie sinks until he’s halfway sheathed by the hot embrace of your cunt. As he pushes the rest of the way in, his jaw falls slack.
“You doing okay?” You soothingly stroke the bulging veins on his forearms.
“Mhm,” Eddie mumbles with his lips rolled inward. After a few seconds without moving, he draws his hips back and then drives them forward. The moan that rips from his chest is unholy.
After two or three agonizingly slow and experimental thrusts, the motion comes naturally to him after all that practice he’s gotten from humping his poor pillow in this very spot. “Fuck me,” The hand that isn’t supporting Eddie’s weight fists at the bed sheets as he thrusts repeatedly, falling into a slow and steady pace. “Jesus fucking fuck.”
“Look at you go,” you moan out. “It feels amazing, doesn’t it?”
“Feels… god, you feel incredible,” Eddie grunts, propping himself up on both hands. His hair hangs down, swaying with the tempo of his hips. In this position, he can watch the bounce of your body with each thrust and he’s doing just that.
The grazing of your fingernails along his flexing hips throws off his pace. It weakens him, especially when you’re looking at him the way you are. Eddie is so consumed by the feeling of you wrapped around him that he can’t be self-conscious about the fact that he’s moaning every time he sinks back into you.
The shame of virginity has been lifted away as Eddie experiences this night of firsts with the girl he’s crazy about. Eddie is struggling to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single second of this. He’s captivated by the way you’re watching his length disappear inside you over and over.
You look stunning lying on his pillow, anchoring his body to yours. Before tonight, he considered the concept of moaning someone's name to be cliché because it only happens in the movies. But Eddie’s had a change of heart because he can’t stop saying yours. It’s all of you right here, right now, all over, making a man out of him.
His muscles begin to tremble, and he lowers himself onto his forearms. Eddie rests his forehead against yours, his hips stuttering. “I’m so close, baby. I don’t wanna cum,” He slows his movement to stave off his orgasm.
“I want you to,” You express while gliding your hands down his muscular back.
“No,” Eddie protests, ceasing his thrusts entirely. “I want you to cum again first.”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Are you shitting me? It’s always been about you,” he pulls back to look into your eyes. “I’d do anything for you, you’re so damn worth it.”
Just before you have the chance to respond, Eddie unexpectedly rolls his hips. With one hand, he thumbs at your clit, watching how your eyes roll back. He doesn’t even have to look down to see the mess you’re making because he can hear it.
Eddie’s moans dance with yours as he pushes his knees forward, adjusting the angle of his hips to mimic a ‘come hither’ motion. He knows he’s found the spot he discovered prior when your legs spasm around him. In response, Eddie rubs your clit harder.
The way your walls tighten makes it all that more difficult for him to hold back. He’s on the cusp, his abs tensing as he tries to fight it. Your hand flies above you to push against the headboard, your other one occupied with gripping his flexing waist.
“Cum for me,” Eddie growls, frustrated with himself as he teeters on the edge, just seconds away from spilling into the condom.
Your brows furrow and your eyes squeeze shut, a rush of air getting caught in your throat as you climax.
“Yeahhh, that’s it,” Eddie’s abdominal muscles tense to their limit. “Oh- fuck,” His voice pitches higher.
“I’m yours,” You moan prettily and guide him down, letting him bury his face in your neck to give his arms a well-deserved rest.
“All mine,” Eddie says between his labored breaths. He grips and lifts your hips while you kiss his shoulder. Losing their previous steadiness, his strokes become shorter and more sporadic. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. I’m gonna cuh- uh- mmm.”
Eddie lets out a whimper as he delivers two unsteady thrusts before slamming his hips against you, burying himself as he orgasms. His ass tenses and ripples, the muscles contracting as he rides out his high.
Panting loudly, Eddie stills his movements completely and props himself up to look down at you. “Jesus Christ. After that, I wanna have you for dinner every day,” he says against your cheek before kissing it. “As a snack in the middle of the night,” Eddie adds, kissing your temple. “Shit, you’d be good for breakfast too. It’s the most important meal of the day, y’know.”
You let out a winded giggle, your bodies sticking together as he struggles to keep himself propped up.
“Sweetheart, can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” You tease and smile wide when he rolls his eyes and snorts.
Eddie takes your hand, flattening your palm against his chest so that you can feel how vigorously his heart is beating. “Is this what being in love feels like?” He asks tearfully.
“Yeah,” you nod, placing his hand over your own heart that’s thudding just as hard. “Just like this.”
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