#OBVIOUSLY this is the healthy and right thing to do and totally won't leave you even more of a shut-in wreck than before!

[scorittanius]

eugh, i keep spiralling over the dumbest things..

[ocuious]

Okay, so Joe hawley:

Hot take, but I think everyone's being a bit too harsh. Many people, including myself, immediately after hearing the news deleted posts about joe hawley, said that they don't support joe hawley, and sent hate towards him in general. I take back some words that I said earlier and would like to share a full rant about what I feel now.

Not wanting to support joe anymore is totally fine -- after all, he's done some awful things to people and I sincerely hope those people are able to recover.

I do however, still support joe, but not in the way you think.

I support his journey to getting mental help and hope he himself can recover and fend off whatever mental illnesses he may be facing. I continue to enjoy Joe's music, as after all, it's okay to separate the artist from the art. I support whatever's left of sane Joe and hope that he can look back, realize what he's done, apologize, and get the mental health he needs. I think any hate towards him is unnecessary.

Mental health isn't an excuse, but an explanation. Sending him hate is only digging his mental state a deeper hole and piling onto the stress he's already facing. I think we can all agree that he's most likely guilty -- he's not trying to defend himself nor is he apologizing. While people who've done things like Joe deserve a proper punishment, I feel that the best thing we can do now is hope that Joe can return to a proper state of mind and get help.

He needs help. His mind clearly isn't right here. The way he types, the way he talks... it's all off. He needs to go and get mental help or therapy or whatever a person like him needs and that way, he can hopefully come back and we can have hope at a third album. If he owns up to what he did, get's help, and truly becomes a better person, I'd be willing to forgive him. He's been battling mental illness for so long according to Andrew and I think it's heartbreaking to see what Andrew wrote on the matter.

Joe's mental health was one of the main reasons tally hall couldn't get a third album and probably won't if this situation keeps up. Andrew wrote how he and the other band members watched Joe fight to be mentally well. How he's changed, for the worse, and how he isn't the same, happy, Joe that was in tally hall. I think Andrew's response to everything is truly heartbreaking and it sucks that Joe had to go through this and in turn make the other members go through this as well.

I don't condone anything he's done. All I can say is to not approach him or talk to him. Even tweeting at him won't help. Remember, we're trying to get him off the phone and into a therapist's office. I've been trying not to pay attention to any tweets he's made as I think it's right to assume that these aren't made in a healthy state of mind and should be taken with a mother-sized basketball of salt. I believe that he's currently in a manic episode and he's obviously not in the right mind at all. Perhaps after this passes he can give an actual response.

I don't want to drag this on for any longer. Thanks for reading this (if you even finished). I just wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere. I truly hope that Joe get's help and can return to the closest thing to normal that there can be.

One last thing: please don't remove Joe Hawley from tally hall images. It's extremely immature. He was a part of tally hall and that can never be changed. I'll leave you with this:

It's okay to separate the art from the artist.

[lostfracturess]

Nici~

Ohmygod you can totally ignore this...because its gonna get so dirty...I'm sorry!!!!

So I was wondering (like I normally do...which is a whole another can of worms) about SatoSugu, like how can I not when the specimen you create is so wonderful. Like I can't do my finance assignment without asking!

So basically, Satoru doesn't use protection with s&c reader (I love it, I'm into it, I support), now is this something he actually thinks about (as in actively think that he isn't using protection)? Like when he was in his Hoejo era, was he the same? Like smashing 13 women in one night without it, and all the others? Or with only with s&c reader, he's like the rawest (did I do the pun right hehe?)?

Another thing...is Suguru like the same? Because he seems very protectionsupremacy™ sorta guy...well ish...given the thoughts of you drabble is (god I hope the way he fantasies about r&r leaves him on his knees like a dam broke, maybe drown the clinic when he gets miss lawyer). But for some reason, him being so kittymeowmeow-drunk with her that at first he isn't think about it (yk that...rubbing thing they do..I feel so embarassed even though I read worse), putting it on..but then peeling it off because he just cannot handle the thought of not feeling miss lawyer fully....hehe ��️

I know you answered an anon that its not gonna be unhealthy obsessive and you're gonna see how it goes as it unfolds...but I wanted to ask...is it like healthy obsessed? Okay obsession isn't really healthy I know...but love can consume people in different ways...so even though different fonts, is his love like Satoru's? I trust its going to be beautiful, I think the pain of loving someone who's heart is taken (and all the demons that come with it) is making me feel like this, you know that yes it would be different but it won't match up to depth of devotion that Satoru had (‘I am at your mercy!' line), basically it'll sort of be like settling (not the first choice, even though the remedy turned to be the life line, it started off as a remedy for someone else)

I think I ask because I love the way you have made Suguru, while I am someone who is much like Satoru when it comes to love and sort of desire both (I am greedy). You write love like no other, I hope its all-consuming in a different way when it comes to Suguru as well. Not a demand, but a wish to the fairy that you are.

I am excited for how everything will unfold: Sukuna getting his karma, Satoru and s&c reader finally being at peace, Suguru finding the love of his life and his soulmate and loving her intensely. I am glad that I'm getting to be an audience of your magic.

sooo about the protection thing, obviously no one should sleep with someone before talking about it, but in s&c i didn't write about it bc it's fiction and i assume that readers are adult enough to understand the importance of protection without me having to explicitly state it. just like i assume readers know that things like addiction, toxic relationships, and sleeping with your professor are not okay in real life.

these are all complex, sensitive topics that go on in the story and should be approached with a mature mindset, one that can separate fantasy from reality. so in the story, the use of protection is not really a "topic". it's fiction, a mere fantasy, after all, where pregnancy and sexual disease do not exist.

that being said, if i had to imagine how it played out in the story, i think the first time satoru and her had sex, in that bathroom (i think it was in chapter 4?), he was just so caught up in the moment, so desperate to feel her, that he didn't really think about protection. and since she didn't stop him, he perhaps just assumed it was okay and they continued that way.

but let me be absolutely clear, i would never condone or support this in real life. using protection is so important, and it's just plain wrong and irresponsible. please, please always use protection.

that being said again, now, in satoru's hoe era (i love it, i'm into it, i support), i definitely imagine he used condoms. he might be a bit of a mess, but he's not stupid. no whoring around without protection, please and thank you.

so, in a way, you could say that satoru is at his rawest with s&c reader (nice pun, by the way).

as for suguru, i think he's a bit more mindful about these things as he is not as impulsive as satoru. so for sure a protectionsupremacy™ kind of guy. he'll definitely use condoms at first, but the second his partner gives the green light, he's ditching them and going absolutely feral, like he's been holding himself back.

and about suguru's love story. you know me, i can't write a man not pathetically in love :')) so, while suguru will definitely be head over heels for miss lawyer, it won't be in a way that nearly gets him killed like satoru. it'll be a healthier, more balanced kind of obsession.

thank you for your message and your kind words. really appreciate your engagement with the story. & hope you continue to enjoy it, but for now, go focus on your assignment !! (lovingly) <3

[edvinception]

so what does this mid season finale mean for the characters in your opinion? im interested in hearing your thoughts

here are mine (keep in mind that I've yet to watch the episodes with subtitles so i only know what i understood with my a2 swedish) :

so im relieved nina did not exactly end up killing someone but the driver managed to say "nina ek" so she'll have those bad guys on her ass and possibly frederik will get hurt. she's in a really bad place and things are getting exponentially worse so it's not looking too good for her...

so with magda/gustav i think it's quite obvious sonja will be the only match but since she's leaving wherever the children live and going into hiding they won't be able to find her for a while so either magda being on the bring of death or she will actually die...so gustav will be a total mess

linus.. im not quite sure what his plot will be. it seems like they've started seriously mentioning the tanja trauma (especially in ep 5!) and zoe is showing up a lot but there's literally NOTHING between them so far. he's very very guarded and zoe is just not in a really good place so i dont even know how anything COULD happen, he pretty much does not have anything going for him right now which could be a good thing since he seems to barely be holding onto his newfound life and stability but it would be nice to actually have a storyline

honestly kind of happy that del 2 will be nina focused rather than sonja she has been really interesting this season, i also doubt we'll be seeing a lot of sonja the second arc at least not until the end so i think this will give them more room to develop the siblings' storylines because tbh the thing i looked most forward to in epilogen was their lives following sonjas death absence and we had some sonja focused episodes which i didn't really appreciate

What a fun and interesting ask! Thank you! I'm happy to read your thoughts!

Yeah Nina's need for revenge just put herself and everyone else in grave grave danger, does it sound familar? Has it happened before?

Also lmao at her calling prison girl a coward. Nina really? You are the one hiring someone to kill your mother because you can't do it yourself. Just like your grandpa did, just like your mum did.

While I do understand her hate for Sonja and it's completely valid I'm not behind her wanting to kill Sonja. She's putting everyone at risk which is yikes. It's hard, she's obviously driven by alot of hatr but also heartbreak. I think that's quite different from Sonja and Anders actually. But she's heading there which is interesting. Also how will her brothers react when they find out what she did? And how will Sonja?

I so wish Sonja and Nina would have spotted eachother as a cliffhanger. Imagine Sonja seeing Nina with prison girl and connecting the dots.

I can definitely see Fredrik being used to punish Nina or lure her somewhere. She was already on Aho's shit list and now she caused 80 million kroner (about 8 million euros) go up in flames. They will take revenge for sure.

I'm not into Magdas storyline at all. She doesn't have any personality, I don't know her. She went from relatively healthy to dying in two days?!?!?! Does it work like that? I find it unrealistic and sometimes I can overlook it and sometimes I can't. But I'm happy to be corrected. Also how common is it for a grandma to be a match but not a parent? And surely there are other donors? We have a register specifically for bonemarrow that you can register to. But I'm not very knowledgeable about that so I shouldn't speak too much.

All in all I find it to just be unnecessary drama. They could have had it just be Tove wanting sole custody and done something else with the screentime. I feel nothing for Magda at this point.

I was more than happy watching Gustav struggle as a dad and trying to keep his head above water. This doesn't do anything for me at all.

Going forward I guess we will see Gustav do anything to save Magda. Maybe he will get a hold of Sonja. Maybe it will be Nina. Regardless even if Sonja is a match, how will the transplant even take place? Sonja would have to come clean, be sent to prison or be in immediate danger, as would her kids. Is it gonna me Magda's safety vs everyone else's? I know Gustav will do anything for her but does it mean risking his siblings?

And finally Linus, he's storyline is not as set. He and Zoey has something going on but they are definitely just friends at this point. He's reserved and guarded but she's definitely going to him whenever she needs help. Him mentioning Tanja was huge. You could see him struggling with it. And she already knew because that was likely all over media. I think we could see Linus facade start to crack. He's obviously pushing people and feelings away and has been for a while. But I think and hope it will come crashing down for him. He craves stability more than anything and he holds on to the normal life he has built for himself but I think he's running from his feelings and I don't think he's coping.

I expect to see the same amount of Sonja in part 2 but I think Linus will take a step forward. Definitely alot with Nina and hopefully many sibling scenes. Especially confrontational scenes and scenes where they talk and comfort eachother.

[xpao-bearx]

I'm SCREECHING these are SUCH awesome questions!!! \(♡o♡)/

Also @kelandrin I absolutely ADORE your blog, just wanted to say 🥰

Anyhoe, I'm totally batshit OBSESSED with my Tav and I'm always down to find literally any excuse to ramble about her 😅 But sorry if this is all a mess (and some things may be missing as well)! I also try not to write TOO much cuz I do wanna save some more interesting shiz about her character and story for the fic I'm planning!

What is your character's Act 1 main story?

-When you recruit Mon'sun, at first she just seems like she's tagging along with you in order to get rid of the parasite once and for all and since there's strength in numbers. She makes no comments about her having other plans or whatever, so initially you may think that she's just here for the (chaotic) ride and that's it. She has no goals and she'll simply leave once the adventure's done.

But when you get to know her better, you'll notice more and more her apprehension towards Baldur's Gate. There's something in that city that just strikes her nerves. Something...or maybe someone?

Either way, she won't ✨️spill✨️ until you have a deep enough relationship.

The evil drow goddess, fucking LOLTH, also plays a HUGE role in Mon'sun's life--and struggles. Mon'sun is a very outgoing person, but there are...some times...where a darker, twisted part of her takes over. Something she so desperately tries to suppress, to hide.

To kill.

Will you find out what it is? Are you even willing to? And if you are, will you save her or will you condemn her?

How do you meet them?

-You will meet Mon'sun at the Emerald Grove. When you approach the tieflings that are training with weapons and then asked by Asharak if you can share a few words of encouragement with the kids, Mon'sun will appear and join in the conversation soon after. Depending on how you respond, Mon'sun's reaction will vary.

If you treat the children with kindness, Mon'sun will be happy and say something like "How rare! Someone with enough brain to have enough heart, too."

However, if you treat them badly, Mon'sun laughs wryly and makes a snide comment "Well! I can't imagine waking up everyday looking like THAT, so I can understand why putting others down would make you feel better."

Vicious Mockery K.O. 😂

But whatever way you treat the kids, it will trigger a short cutscene of Mon'sun pulling out her lyre and starting a beautiful performance that gets the kids pumped up. I can totally see her singing a song similar to something like Soldier, Poet, King! I also headcanon Mon'sun's voiceclaim to be the singer annapantsu so specifically I imagine Mon'sun singing that song covered by annapantsu ^_^

What do you learn about them in Act 1?

-Right off the bat you learn that Mon'sun is very cheerful. Even when she's upset or in a distressing situation, she still tries to stay upbeat with a bright smile and just brushes off whatever's bothering her. This is obviously not very healthy, but she does a pretty damn good job of hiding how she really feels a lot of the times (and she's quite a sneaky and manipulative lil shit with that!). When having important moments with her, you sometimes even have to roll a perception check in order to pry further into her true emotions and intentions. Additionally, Astarion would make a few comments here and there regarding this because he can see right through her (considering he's quite similar to her in that aspect! And don't mind me, just casually slipping my ship on here LMAO xD).

Mon'sun also aligns as a chaotic neutral. She leans more towards good, but her chaotic nature makes her to be quite an unconventional (and perhaps even unstable) character. Years of being a wandering bard has taught her to be a lone survivor and to look after her own interests. And to preserve her safety, she absolutely has no issue fleeing from any problems that may arise which may even make her be seen as a bit of a coward.

BUT she has a heart of gold. This is very apparent to whenever someone needs help in the game and you agree to help, you gain instant approval from Mon'sun and even some dialogue afterwards of her praising you and her being eager to assist in any way she can.

She also has a huge soft spot for animals (BIG approvals from her whenever you're kind to them) and throughout the game, you can see that she's formed quite a bond with Mol and the other tiefling children. She vibes easily with them and her troubled past plays a big role on why she understands and empathizes with them so well.

Her past is another thing you learn about her...or, rather, NOT learn. "I have lots of stories to tell, but mine is not one for the books" she would say if you ask to get to know her more. It takes quite a bit of pushing and some checks for her to reveal pieces of her childhood, but it's not until you progress to Acts 2 and 3 that you FINALLY learn her full story.

She's also quite a chaos gremlin! She does try to stay out of trouble as much as possible, but a bit of fun mischief (and maaaybe a bit of theft) never hurt anyone! Well, maybe it did, but it certainly never hurt her since she always got away in time~

Do any special scenes trigger for them?

-For me, one of the first things that instantly comes to mind and something that I find very important for Mon'sun's character is the whole interaction with Minthara. When you first meet Minthara at the goblin camp, Minthara will notice Mon'sun if you have her in your party and make some kind of derogatory comment about half-drows. This IMMEDIATELY pisses Mon'sun off and this will be one of the first few times where you'll see Mon'sun completely devoid of her usual smile, instead replaced by a cold hard glare towards Minthara. Mon'sun will then respond with something like "What about you, then? Counting the days for when your precious Absolute will shit trash like you out just like your ex spider bitch?"

Obviously, this interaction between them causes a LOT of tension and it's up to you if you wanna try to defuse it by passing a check OR siding with Mon'sun and battling immediately with Minthara.

If you kill or knock out Minthara, a short cutscene triggers where Mon'sun notices something on Minthara's body. She slowly approaches Minthara and finds the Spider's Lyre on Minthara, which surprises Mon'sun. Mon'sun has the exact same lyre and she's never met anyone else with the same one since it's so distinct, but now it's making Mon'sun question how and why Minthara has it. And does the lyre have any further meaning..?

Another "special scene" I have imagined for Mon'sun (which is a bit of a smaller scene) is the morning after you have your first encounter with your Dream Visitor. When you go to ask Mon'sun about any similar dreams, Mon'sun acts a bit distant and says something like "Dreams... Heh, I have 'em, alright." If you pass a check to use the tadpole to probe into Mon'sun's mind, you will discover that she did have a dream, but not with any Dream Visitor. Rather, from the veeery small fragments you can gather, you can actually make out Lolth.

This shocks Mon'sun and she quickly breaks off the connection, and she is mad. Pass a check to calm her down and if you succeed, she'll apologize then her red right eye will start to hurt. If you try to ask more questions, she'll reveal that her red eye always hurts whenever Lolth is involved in something.

If you ask her what this "something" is, she'll apologize again and say that she can't say. She's only asking you to trust her and that everything will be okay, to which you'll then be presented with options where you can react negatively or positively to her.

Aaand that's it!! Obviously there's a LOT more, but this was just a fun lil taste~ 😉 I hope y'all liked it! ❤️

Tav Question

Pretend for a minute your Tav is an origin character. Origin characters have a main story with scenes in each of the three acts, as well as a three act romance structure (usually with check points in the form of their main story scenes but sometimes with affinity). I will be doing questions for each act, both the main story and the romance story.

What is your character’s ACT ONE main story? How do you meet them? What do you learn about them in act one? Do any special scenes trigger for them?

[veg-hotwings]

Why Eiji x Ash is an awful pairing

Last year I watched Banana Fish for the first time, and I loved and hated it. I deeply appreciated how blunt and raw it could be when trating the abuse/rape themes, and got me a heartache and dehydratation for how much it made me cry.

However, I recently rewatched it with a friend of mine and we were apalled at so many things I don't even know where to start. I still like the story itself, but I reevaluated some characters entirely, especially Max and Eiji.

Max, for instance, proclames himself as Ash's protector/dad, but when they were in prison he didn't do anything for him, and left Ash alone to be raped multiple times. He also joked and found it funny when Ash was harassed in his nurse uniform, and in general treated him like he hadn't been abused since he was a child.

But this post won't be about Max.

It's Eiji and his relationship with Ash I want to talk about, and honestly I don't understand what the author was trying to do with them and how can people ship the two of them.

Let's start by saying that everything that happens in the series is Eiji's fault, including Ash's death. Since the beginning he egoistically did everything he could do to put Ash in danger, refusing to follow his orders or to leave the fucking country and stay safe because he wanted to "help him", "save him", or just couldn't handle the idea of leaving him. Spoiler alert: if you claim to care about someone, you don't put them in a situation when they have to save your ass every time. Hell, Ash let himself be abused again and again in prison, by Golzine and many other disgusting men all series long just to be sure Eiji would be safe. Ash cared about him, not viceversa.

In ep.11 Eiji wakes Ash up by literally hitting him in the head (WTF?!), and then proceeds to joke about Ash's pubes and hints about having Ash showing him his dick. What the actual fuck?! And he already knew about the abuse Ash went through. Afterwards, he has the brilliant idea to organize a party for him with Jack O' Lanterns despite Ash telling him he's scared by them and why. During the party Ash was clearly in discomfort but who cares, it was fun, right? 😃

In ep.12 he guilt trips Ash for killing Shorter and being a murderer when he knows what kind of life Ash lives and why he does what he does. He knows Ash hates killing and hates being so good at it. He knows Ash and Shorter were best friends, so obviously he blames Ash for his friend's death, the most compassionate thing he could do.

In ep.13 Ash pleads for Eiji to go back to Japan, clearly saying that it's dangerous for him to stay there, but Eiji ignores Ash's needs and will and of course triggers another series of problems. Cherry on top, he says to himself he heard Ash's cries at night and how bad they were, but ignored him altogether. What kind of asshole does that?!

In ep.18, after Ash fought for their lives and escaped Golzine's villa, he accuses Ash to be a weak girl because he's tired and bedridden. Excuse you??? But that's not everything, because he also invites Ash to Japan saying he won't have to fight or have a weapon there, but he could work as a model instead. Tell me you didn't understand shit about Ash without telling me you didn't understand shit about Ash. He. Was. Fucking. Abused! He knew about the videos and the photos and how much Ash hates being photographed (he says so in fucking episode 1!), and he still has the nerve to propose such a job for him just because he's attractive. Sure. Let's sexualise him, nobody did that before. 'Cause his looks are the only thing that counts, not the fact that Ash's smart and kind.

In ep.20 he almost touches Ash's butt. Yeah, go ahead, that's totally fine.

In ep.22, after Ash managed to escape from Fox, injured and once again raped, he doesn't even ask him how is he or offers him his jacket, just leaves him there.

These are the most evident flaws to his character and, consequently, to his relationship with Ash that I noticed. It's not healthy for the both of them, but for Ash especially. The only reasons Ash grew fond of him it's because of his fucked up life and because he sees Eiji as the epitome of innocence, something he needs to protect to save himself too.

[iplaymatchmaker]

Hi, can I ask for a match up request for Ikevamp! I'm bi, female (she/her) sagittarius sun, virgo rising, libra moon, ENFT. I'm 5'2, chubby/curvy w/ great boobs, I have longer  brunette hair w/ peekaboo highlights (they've been every color, but currently pink), brown eyes, glasses/contacts, 7 piercings & 26 tattoos. I'm very empathetic (sometimes to a fault) and have sever anxiety and depression. It takes me awhile to warm up around new people and be myself. I often feel intimidated in big social settings, such as parties, and often use alcohol for some liquid courage to help me let loose and be me in those situations. I've suffered some emotional and mental abuse at the hands of a step parent which has left me with some trauma and triggers; people raising their voice at me or making quick movements toward me or in my direction usually result in me crying and secluding myself for awhile. Oh and I have daddy issues, thanks absent father. That said I also don't do great with authority, I hate being told what to do, and I hate being told no. I can put up with a lot of shit, but eventually it usually becomes a 'straw that broke the camels back' situation and I fly off the handle and then break down. I am also extremely generous and do all I can to help my friends and family when they need it. I have some self confidence issues from weight gain, and I usually feel my best when I'm dolled up with my makeup on and hair done, usually with a dress and heels. I'm a Ravenclaw thats hates to read, but I love learning & know tons of trivia; like I know so many random facts about so many things from history, to movies, to graveyards, and much more. I often correct people on things, which some perceive as me belittling them, but its never my intention I'm just trying to share my knowledge and trying to help them. I am very creative I love crafting; resin art, macrame, cross stich, those are just some of my favorite things to do art wise, I also enjoy coloring books. I love to laugh and think I'm pretty funny, I usually have a dark sense of humor, if you don't like humor we won't vibe together, and if you can't make me laugh we will not be a good relationship match. I like to go to the bar and do karaoke, it's one thing I've learned I'mvery good at. It took me about 2 years, but I've since learned to be confident with my singing and now its one of my favorite things to do. I drink, obviously, gin and tonic is my favorite. I also smoke, I love my hookah, and I've had my medical card for about a year and it's done wonders for my insomnia and cramps. For about 2 years I've been getting severe cramps and stomach pains, and after 5 er trips in a month they didn't find anything, its still a mystery but at least the bud helps the pain. l'm very into the witchy aesthetic; my style is either very Stevie Nicks, pinup, or 2009 emo/scene depending on the day. I collect animal skulls and bone, taxidermy, crystals, and plants; I also practice the craft & love to make spell jars for people. I love tarot and really enjoy doing it. I live for Halloween & enjoy all things macabre! My favorite show is That 70's Show and if I could live in a replica of the Forman's house that would be my dream. I am also very sex positive and rather adventurous in bed. I'm a brat and a voyeur, I'll get down with just about anything. My love language is giving and receiving gifts. I put alot of thought into holidays like Christmas, I plan months in advance to make sure I get everyone the perfect gift; but I also will sometimes see something that just reminds me of someone and have to get it for them. That is all I can think of right now to add about myself. And I feel I don't connect with Vincent at all, so I'd really rather not be paired with him. And for the prompts I'd love 4 and/or 10. Thank you so much in advance, totally appreciate you doing these, sorry it got long..

 Hello, thank you so much for requesting! 🥰 I did your ikevamp matchup first but the ikerev one is on its way. Sorry if I got something wrong, I tried to implement as much of the information as I could. I really hope you enjoy this! Also, I’m sorry to hear about your cramps, i hope you will find a permanent solution soon! Stay healthy and have an amazing day!❤

I match you with

Napoleon!

I went back and forth a bit but I ended up going with our lovely monsieur de Wahaha.

 You two would be a great match considering you both appreciate a good sense of humor. I can see you trying to out-joke each other and ending up doubled over laughing, inevitably calling it a truce.

 Whenever you’re feeling down, he tries to subtly lift you spirits without asking for explanations, unless you’re willing to give them.

  He is also very thoughtful and cares about other people so you two would totally vibe! You appreciate what he does for the children and even tune in to help sometimes, as long as it doesn’t involve fencing. 

  He is very interested in hearing about your interests and any fun fact you have to give him since he’s also eager to learn and teach new things.

 He tries to involve himself in your hobbies to understand you better. Your love for witchy related activities is a part of you that he finds very intriguing.  He’s so fascinated that he asks you to do tarots for him!

  Another thing that you have discovered is that when he’s being stubborn about waking up all it takes is for you to sing to him for his eyes to open in awe, skipping on his usual morning kiss until you’re both properly awake!

  When your first birthday with him rolled around he tried his best to come up with an amazing gift for you, wanting to make sure his love for you is clear. In the end when you unwrapped his gift you found a knitted scarf, dark purple with what tried to be stars scattered throughout. He told you he had observed you very closely while you were working on your own knitting in an attempt to figure out how to do it properly, seemingly very proud despite the garment’s wonky appearance.

 Prompt 4: Meet Cute:

You were deeply invested in your current project, knitting away when you noticed the children on the other side of the fountain, chatting around a man who seemed to be trying to explain a math problem to them. You were about to leave, opting to stay away from the loud crowd when you noticed a man sitting a few feet away from you, his head bowed and his eyes closed. You couldn’t help but put down your supplies and walk over to him, nudging his shoulder.

“Sir, are you okay?” it didn’t take more to wake him up, considering his current position. He flashed you a smile like he hadn’t just been sleeping sitting up.

“I must have fallen asleep. Thank you for waking me, Madame.” Something was odd about him and you couldn’t help but smile back at him.

 He asked you about the project you were working on after noticing the supplies next to you, not paying any mind to the sun slowly setting as you explained. You couldn’t help but  crack a smile every time his curious eyes melted into confusion, urging you to continue explaining.

When he informed you it was time for the both of you to return home- not forgetting to offer walking you back- you made mental note to visit the fountain more often.

 Prompt 10: Admission of feelings

It had been a few months since that first day you found him sleeping on the fountain. You had continued visiting him when he was giving lessons to the children, observing him closely as he taught them about a variety of things.

One of those days while you were observing his lesson, you spoke up before you could think better of it, correcting one of his statements. He seemed surprised at first, but quickly recovered, urging you to continue on with a smile on his face. Despite your worries he pulled you aside, after handing the children over to Isaac, to thank you for correcting him.

You continued to help him after that, often tuning in to help with lessons. It became a sort of routine for you. It took a while, but eventually you two started meeting outside of the impromptu classes, going for walks and the occasional dinner. He seemed increasingly interested in hearing about you.

As you two got to know each other better, he eventually discovered of your love for tarot cards. It took you by surprise when he asked you for a reading. His next words were even more surprising.

“I hope you see yourself in my future.” You didn’t understand what he meant at first, starring at him in confusion for a solid few minutes. He smiled awkwardly before continuing his thoughts, making his intentions clear.

“What I’m saying is I’d like us to be more than friends. I want to keep discovering more about you, if that’s alright with you.” After the initial shock, you nodded, smiling widely at him, your hand reaching for his. When the waiter arrived, asking if you were ready to order, blushing furiously when he realized what had transpired, you both burst into laughter, happiness bursting out of the both of you.

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 8)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

Hello fellow atiny and kpop stans 👋🏼 I am back with part 8 of I Have A Dream as promised. If any of you guys missed the last update or didn’t read the top part, from now on I will be updating every Friday so please look forwards to that 😃 Now I present to you guys I Have A Dream Part 8 😊

Y/N had never regretted anything more in her life then in that situation she was in that moment, the constant walking up and down the isles of clothing causing her already throbbing feet to swell in her white flowered sandals. In her hands, she carried multiple varieties of colored dresses and shirts.

A couple feet in front of her stood Mrs. Park with her hands also full, the excitement in her eyes causing them to glint in the sunlight. Never in her entire life had Y/N meet someone with such a deep passion for shopping, as if that person thrived off of just swiping their credit card left and right with multiple bags to accompany that action.

She really regretted calling Mrs. Park to hang for the day but as she giggled at her crazy squealing and constant fawning over the brand new collection of maternity dresses, she honestly couldn't ask for a better person to have in her life.

“ Y/N come over here! You need to try on the dresses I picked out.” Mrs. Park calls out and all y/n can do is sigh in defeat, knowing that she won't let her get away from her little fashion show.

Dragging her tired feet towards the dressing rooms she watches as Mrs. Park shoves multiple dresses in one of the small stalls, then turn towards her. “ Okay sweety, now just try on the dresses and show them to me! I'll love to see how you look in the bright colors!” Mrs. Park exclaims clapping her hands with an excited look on her face.

“ You know fall is just around the corner? Why am I trying out dresses?” Y/N says and all she gets in return is a blank stare. “ You can wear leggings under your dresses and plus once you get bigger all you'll be able to fit in are dresses. You'll thank me later baby girl so don't worry your pretty little head off.” Mrs. Park says as she pats her on the head.

“ Can we at least take a break after this? I'm hungry and my feet are killing me” Y/N says and Mrs. Park winces when she mentions her feet, remembering the days when she would limp from how swollen her feet we're during her pregnancy. Nodding her head, Mrs. Park shoos Y/N back into the dressing room telling her to try at least 3 out of all the dresses in the big pile.

Turning towards the pile, she picks two soft peach-colored dresses and a soft mustard colored knit dress. The softness of the dresses already convincing her that the three are the ones she'll purchase but she still decides to try them on for the sake of pleasing the older lady waiting for her outside the dressing room.

Tugging the dark blue curtain back, Y/N walks out the dressing room in the mustard dress and before she can say anything Mrs. Park starts fawning over her attracting the attention of the other customers in the store. “ Look at you honey!!” she squeals and Y/N can feel her face start flushing red from embarrassment.

“ Thanks, Mrs. Park” Y/N mumbles out causing Mrs. Park to reach forwards and pinch Y/N’s arm. “ What did I say y/n-sie~~~ Call me auntie” she whines out and all Y/N does is chuckle out, causing Mrs. Park to let out an almost childish like huff.

“ Can we go eat now? We can get back to dressing up later but right now I need some food in my system and it seems like I'm not the only one.” Y/N says as she rubs her stomach causing Mrs. Park to let out a gasp. “ Oh my goodness! Yes, of course! I can't let my two babies starve now can I?! Your brother would kill me if I somehow forgot to feed you two.” She says and with that she forces Y/N back into the dressing room, telling her to change back into her original dress.

Y/N doesn't need to be told twice because as soon as those words get out of Mrs. Park's mouth she books it back to the small room and changes back. Making sure that all her belongings are still in her purse and that she has the three dresses tucked under her arm, she quickly exits the dressing room and passes the other dresses to Mrs.Park to put them back. Walking towards the register, she takes out her wallet and waits for the cashier to ring her up.

Swaying on the heels of her feet, she waits for the cashier to tell her the total before the hairs on the back of her neck start to rise. The feeling of being watched again causing her to let out a shaky breath, the goosebumps that raise on her skin causing her to rub her arms up and down.

All throughout her day out with Mrs. Park, she had been feeling as if someone had a constant eye on her. The feeling of someone watching and following her every move scaring her beyond belief. She didn't tell Mrs. Park as she thought that maybe she was being paranoid, maybe it was Kyung Mi playing a prank on her, or maybe the little boy Jinyoung wanting to say hi to her again.

She honestly had no idea, but she was trying to keep the positive feeling in the air, knowing that freaking out and causing Mrs. Park to freak out as well would only ruin the day. Either way, if being followed and constantly being watched is what she felt then she knew she could hold out her own. The pink small taser and pepper spray shoved in the bottom of her purse reassuring her that she would be okay at least for a pregnant woman.

Paying for her dresses, she quickly shoved her credit card in her wallet and tucked it in her purse. Bidding the cashier a good day and a quick goodbye, she walked towards the exit where Mrs. Park (or in her case auntie) was standing and together they walked out the maternity clothing store.

Standing there for a couple of seconds, they start debating whether they should head towards the village's popular restaurant or towards the various food stalls lined just a block away. Knowing how packed the restaurant can get from working just across the place, they finally decide to head towards the crowded but not packed food stalls.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Mingi had never been one for conflict, always deciding to let things cool out before actually fixing the issue. From the looks of it, it seems as if Hongjoong and San were going to be fighting for a while and even though Mingi blamed no one but Hongjoong he really wished that everything would be resolved right away.

After the argument that broke out in the kitchen that morning the guys had spread around the big house wanting to escape the heavy tension that lingered on San. Wooyoung seemed to have gone to his room as well as San was sitting alone in the living room, staring blankly at the tv. Knowing that San would only drive himself insane with how quiet and how deep he was in his thoughts, Mingi decided that the least he could do was distract him for a couple of hours.

“ San, let's go out to the town square. I don't know were thing 2 is but he's obviously not going to help so let me be the one to comfort you for once.” Mingi says, breaking San from his train of thought.

“ I'll like to go... But what if we bump into y/n?.. I don't want her to think that we followed her and cause her to leave again.” San says as he rubs the skin between his eyes, letting Mingi know that whatever he was thinking about was causing him a headache.

“ Then I guess we'll just have to keep an eye out for her. C’mon you need fresh air and food. We can go get some food if you want.” Mingi walks towards San and lifts him up by the back of his shirt, causing San to let out a startled woah and stumble from the way Mingi was dragging him towards the door.

Knowing that Mingi won't take no for an answer, San takes his pair of brown boots and shoves them into his feet. Nodding towards Mingi, they both grab their wallets and phones exiting the big home and walking towards the town square.

Mingi knows that San just wants peace and quiet, the constant fighting with Hongjoong seeming to wear him down little by little due to his appearance. He wants San to let everything out, to finally be the same happy and giggly San but he knows that something like that won't be accomplished easily. The constant fighting not only affecting San and Hongjoong but all of them, all Mingi can do is pray that by the end of the month they can all return on good terms.

San expected Mingi to interrogate him the minute they walked out the door, but instead they both walked in silence. He exhales in relief mentally thanking Mingi that he didn't mention anything, the quiet chirping of the birds around them and the cool breeze dancing around them causing his shoulder to drop from their tense position.

Quickly arriving at the town square, they both decide to head towards the food stalls craving some spicy tteokbokki. They don't seems to make it far into the bustling food stalls before Mingi quickly grabs ahold of San’s sweatshirt and drags him behind a wall.

“ What happened?!? Why did you drag me over here?” exclaims San as he looks at Mingi and all Mingi does is tell him to be quiet and point towards the direction they were heading.

A couple of feet in front of them stood Y/N with Mrs. Park, the both of them giggling to each other while eating portions of glass noodles. They watch as the older one shoves more food towards Y/N telling her something before patting the younger ones swollen belly.

San stares at her in awe, the first time he saw her seemed like a blur and he didn't remember much but now he can clearly see her and watch as she freely throws her head back in amusement to something the older lady in front of her said.

He lets a small smile invade his face as he watches in adoration, the sight of her being happy and healthy causing his heart to beat rapidly. Beside him, Mingi stares at Y/N in wonder. The sight of the woman he once knew as somewhat quiet and reserved fully enjoying herself at the moment.

This was the first time he has seen her since she left and finally looking at her completely all he could do is smile warmly at the sight of her baby bump. The way she would pat her stomach or the way the older lady would lean forwards and talk to Y/N’s stomach causing him to let out a small childlike giggle. Turning towards San, he saw the look of pure love and adoration said man had for the woman just a couple feet away from him.

In that moment, Mingi knew that no matter what happened between the three currently involved in the recent events he hoped and prayed that San was the one who would get picked in the end.

Turning back around to look at the duo they were currently hiding from, they watched as they finished up their food and got up to head towards the shops. They decided to keep an eye on them in case they walked towards them and then finally eat but as they watched them walk away from the table, Mingi let's out a barely audible gasp causing San to turn towards him.

“ What happened? Did she see you?!?” San asked in a panic, getting ready to book it out of there if they were discovered but all Mingi did was grab San by the neck turning him towards where Y/N was standing.

It took San a couple of seconds to figure out what he was supposed to be looking for before his eyes finally set on her.

There a couple of feet away from Y/N stood Ji Woo. Taking slow almost cautious steps towards Y/N and the older lady with her.

Mingi watched as San’s eyes turned hard and icy, his scary glare set on the girl quickly approaching Y/N. Before San could jump up and run towards the obvious interaction that was about to occur, Mingi quickly wrapped his arms around San and told him to stay in place.

All San could do was watch helplessly as Ji Woo called out Y/N’s name, watching as the smile on her face dropped just like his heart did the minute he saw her happiness slip away like sand between his fingers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“ Wow... I honestly never in my life had such amazing glass noodles as this one's.” Y/N said as she patted her stomach letting out huff from how full she is. Mrs. Parks lets out a small laugh then leans down so that she's staring at Y/N’s belly. “ You were quite hungry weren't you little man.” She says and Y/N raises and eyebrow at her question.

“ Little man huh? Youngjo said that it was going to be a girl.” She says as she starts to clean up the mess around them, causing Mrs. Park to quickly jump towards her and clean up instead. “ Your brother is a dummy, take my advice instead okay? Throughout my pregnancy, I knew I was having a boy and I was correct. So take it from me, it's going to be a strong, healthy boy.” Mrs. Park rants on and all Y/N does is smile at her, appreciating all the little tips and advice she has been giving her in her three months living there.

Finishing up, the both start heading towards the shops on the opposite part of the street away from the food stalls. As they walk towards the direction of a clothing store Mrs. Park desperately wanted to visit, the feeling of being watched again causes Y/N’s heart to start thumping in her chest.

Choosing to ignore it, she continues to walk with Mrs. Park before the call of her name brings her to a complete stop. She feels her entire body freeze in disbelief, the person who called her taking that as a sign to continue calling her name.

Slowly turning around, she holds her breath and prays to God that whoever it was that called her isn't who she thinks it is. Her prayers seems to fail, because standing just in front of her is Ji Woo.

“ Y/N... How.. How are you?” Ji woo stutters out and all Y/N does is stare blankly at her, at loss for words. “ You left so suddenly, I didn't get the chance to talk to you.” she mutters out causing Y/N to grip onto her blue dress in order to calm herself.

Mrs. Park seems to sense her distress because she immediately stands in front of Y/N, hiding her from Ji Woo’s view. “ Can we help you, young lady?” She asks as she carefully observes Ji woo, getting ready to stop her if she decides to walk any closer.

“ Oh please call me Ji Woo, I'm Y/N’s best friend.... I came to talk to her.” Ji woo babbles on trying to get as much as she can out there in case she gets dismissed by the older lady.

Mrs. Park immediately tenses up once Ji Woo gives out her name, the name of the person she desperately wanted to curse when Y/N told her the reason she moved into their small homely village.

Clearing her throat, Mrs. Park rolls her shoulders and gives Ji Woo the best fake smile she can pull off. “ Nice to meet you Ji Woo, but me and my friend here have to go so if you'll please excuse us.” Mrs. Park tells her, quickly turning around and taking now Y/N’s trembling hands.

Walking right behind Y/N in case Ji Woo decides to grab her, Mrs. Park start to speed walk towards the direction of her house before Ji Woo’s scratchy and nasally voice stops them in their tracks.

“ Y/N, please... Please don't leave again. I want to apologize for what I did. I want to make it up to you.” she begs, following closely behind the pair. Y/N rapidly shakes her head, and tugs at Mrs. Park wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Ji Woo seems to be growing impatient as the volume of her voice increases the more they walk away from her. “ Y/N CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ME, YOU CAN’T JUST DROP YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP OVER SOMETHING SO DUMB.” she screams out, attracting the attention of people around the area.

“ STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS Y/N! HOW ABOUT YOU FACE ME LIKE A REAL WOMAN HUH? CAN YOU DO THAT FOR A MINUTE! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BE A GOOD MOTHER IF YOU CAN’T EVEN FACE ME RIGHT NOW!” Ji Woo yells out causing the duo to stop in their tracks and the chatter around them falls down to just whispering.

Y/N lets out a small sob, the shaking of her hands now having consumed her whole body causing random people around them to whine out in sympathy. She slowly turns around to look at Ji Woo but instead makes eye contact with Mrs. Park. She lets out a small gasp from how mad she looks, the soft look that she would always have in her eyes completely gone instead replaces with the sharp look of anger.

Ji Woo seems to still be yelling out towards them, attracting more attention to them, “ LOOK I’M SORRY I SLEPT WITH HONGJOONG BUT IT MEANT NOTHING TO ME! IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU WEREN’T A GOOD GIRLFRIEND TO HIM.” she continues to scream, and her last statement seems to shake the crowd around them looking at Ji Woo in disbelief and disgust.

Before Y/N can stop her, Mrs Park swiftly turns around and marches straight towards Ji Woo. The look on Mrs. Park's face seems to shut Ji Woo up as she watches her stomp towards her in a menacing way. Nobody seems to stop her as Mrs. Park lifts up her hand and strikes Ji Woo across the face, the loud sound that resonates from the harsh slap causing everybody to let out a gasp. A couple of feet away from the scene stand two guys leaning against the wall watching the turn of events, one of them gaping at the slap in shock and the other one smirking and mentally cheering for the older lady.

“ I've never in my life raised my hand at someone, much less thought about hitting someone... But you.. You deserved this and so much more.” Mrs Park spits out, rubbing her throbbing hand from how much force she used to smack Ji Woo.

Ji Woo carefully lifts her shaking hand towards her already bruising cheek, the bottom lip split and bleeding. She watches as various people crowd around Y/N to comfort her and multiple other people stand behind Mrs. Park to come to her defense.

“ Now you listen to me very closely, I may not know you well but I know just enough to figure out that you're the good for nothing ”best friend” that slept with y/n’s boyfriend. Of course he's as much of a low life as you and even though I don't like the idea of hitting someone I'll gladly do it to him as well.” Mrs Park says as she watches Ji Woo tear up.

“ I expect you to leave this village and never come back. The police in this place may not be that bright, so if it comes down to it I'll personally drag you out of here myself. Do I make myself clear?” she says and the people around her yell out in agreement, the small crowd around Y/N who are currently comforting her nodding their heads along as well.

Knowing that the older lady in front of her won't hesitate to do as she says, Ji Woo gives one final look at Y/N holding eye contact for a couple of seconds before finally turning around and running away towards her car.

Mrs. Park watches her to make sure that she leaves and once she sees Ji Woo’s car speed away from the area she quickly turns around and pulls Y/N into her arms. Thanking the people around her for taking care of the girl she considers family.

Shushing the crying girl in her arms, she covers her with a black floral cardigan and carefully begins to lead her towards her house. The group around her clear a path for them, giving out words of comfort to the pregnant woman, letting her know that if she ever needs help they'll happily help her telling her that she's apart of the village family.

Making it to Mrs. Park's bright yellow house, they both enter the warm and spacious living room. Leading her towards the soft beige L shaped couch, she sits Y/N in the middle of it taking notice of her quiet sniffing.

Carefully peeling the cardigan off of her, she takes Y/N’s face into her hands and wipes away the tears falling from her eyes. “ You're okay now sweety, she's gone now. I won't let her near you again you hear me.” she firmly states causing Y/N to throw herself onto Mrs. Park’s arms, wanting desperately to be held by someone.

“ I don't want to be that sad ever again. I don't want to cry the moment someone mentions what happened... I want to be happy for me and my baby. I want to finally forget everything and live in peace.” Y/N says as she weeps into Mrs. Parks arms, hiding her face in the older woman's shoulder.

“ I won't let you be that sad ever again baby... You'll have a happy life, you'll live in peace. You and your baby and whether you decide to open up your heart again maybe even a boyfriend or husband, you'll be happy I know it. You want to know how I know this? Because I'll make sure of it.” Mrs. Park whispers to the crying girl in her arms, lifting her hands and rubbing her back.

“ I'll take care of you two... You won't ever have to feel alone again sweety. Auntie will take care of you and your baby.” she says as she caresses Y/N’s stomach, the girl in her arms slowly calming down.

They sit there a couple of seconds before Y/N's broken whisper breaks the silence.

“ Thank you... Thank you so much for everything... I love you auntie.”

Mrs. Park feels her eyes water at the nickname, having been the first time that Y/N actually used it. Pulling the pregnant girl closer, she places a tender kiss to her head.

“ I'll take care of both of you... You don't have to worry about a thing... Not a single thing my sweet girl.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: Are you on your way here? Jac: I hadn't started to get ready yet Jac: got caught up doing some prep for our next lecture, haven't looked at the clock in a minute 🤯 whoops Savannah: well thank god, I was hoping to catch you before having to dramatically tell you to turn around, especially if you had happened to be half way to me Jac: Oh? Jac: What's going on in UH tonight? 😄 Savannah: Nothing, which is perhaps why we're the centre of attention Jac: 😬 Don't love the sound of that Jac: what's been said? Savannah: I'm not even sure because the way she was saying it gave me the most INTENSE Catholic school flashbacks Savannah: & I've overanalysed every syllable to the point that it's been twisted beyond recognition so I can't be trusted to reliably relay any of it Jac: Okay, pause Jac: who's being mean to you, and why on earth Jac: Is it that one girl in the next room along from you, because I did think she was someone's little sister so I can believe the immaturity Savannah: I think she was trying to be complimentary about us but I didn't take it like that, I can't, not after everything Jac: Baby Jac: just try to explain it best you can Jac: take your time, and I'll forgive any personal interjection Jac: because I care more about how it's made you feel, than how it was said or meant, really Savannah: she's made me feel like I'm doing this all wrong, exactly how I said I wouldn't, holding you back and being too much Jac: But you aren't at all Jac: what would she even know about it, she doesn't know either of us, even a little bit Savannah: maybe that unbiased outside perspective is what I needed to make me realise the mistakes I'm making Savannah: because it isn't just her, they're all talking about how you're ALWAYS here, how inseparable we are Jac: Do you feel like we're taking things too fast, being too much? Savannah: No Savannah: but I didn't last time either Jac: okay Jac: because you know you can tell me, if you are Jac: I mean, I don't know what to do with this information Jac: we don't judge them for their relationships Savannah: I was fine, but I'm scared now, obviously Jac: that we're like you and Tyler, or you and Milo Jac: or that we're repeating our past and it'll end badly again Savannah: that I can't have a relationship that isn't ridiculously co-dependent, except it's not even, because that implies that they were as extra as I was Savannah: & that I shouldn't have entered into this one if I haven't changed enough to avoid repeating things Jac: They balanced you out Jac: and I don't Savannah: they let me do whatever I wanted, that isn't what I want from you Jac: but if it's what we both want Jac: it's hard for me to think we should listen more to these girls, who are probably speaking at least from a bit of jealousy, than that Savannah: No, because it isn't what we both want, a healthy relationship is what we both want Jac: Yeah Jac: you're right, of course Jac: but, I don't like the implication that they know what works for us Jac: if we need to reevaluate, it can still be on our terms Jac: I bet lots of them have never had a serious relationship, or only the same level of unhealthy as we have before, they're not qualified Savannah: They don't know us or have any qualifications & I believe you're right about the jealousy factor but I am still willing to see & use this as the wake up call that I need to do better Jac: We can do that Jac: I trust you Jac: I'm not going to see this as you pulling away or something I've done Savannah: please don't, because it isn't Jac: It was my initial fear Jac: but you never leave me to worry Jac: and the fact that I immediately went there is just something I need to address too Savannah: you have reason to go there, it's okay Savannah: how I handled things back then is precisely what I'm trying to avoid Jac: I completely see that, I honestly do Jac: I'm sorry if I got defensive right there Savannah: & I can see that I've slightly overreacted now that I've slightly calmed down Jac: It made me feel the same Jac: like you said, the school flashbacks are no joke Savannah: I'm so sorry I told you not to come, I'd hate for you to think that's what I want, ever Jac: It's okay, we can take a night off Jac: but I'm also not gonna tell you you can't come to mine instead, once they've all gone back to their rooms or whatever Savannah: are you going to tell me what prep you were doing which I should've been instead of freaking out? Savannah: because I need to know Jac: Of course Jac: we haven't competed like that for a LONG time now Jac: it's not like we were asked but I asked [your fave prof bff 'cos lord knows I'm using the photos] on the way out last week if there was anything we could study up on ready for next term Savannah: once I've done everything he has suggested & fixed my 😢 face I'll come over Jac: My poor boo, I hate that they upset you so much Jac: also that we only have showers Jac: or I'd recommend a bubble bath as first order of business Savannah: honestly the lack of 🛀🏾🥂 upsets me more than anything Savannah: but in all seriousness, it wasn't even those girls at fault, I got myself worked up Jac: it is a travesty Jac: we need a place with an en-suite next year Jac: because the idea of sharing a bath with god knows who is no more appealing than NOT having one 😰 Jac: it's okay, I won't insist on being that stereotype and 'having a word' with them, they can live, for now Savannah: if checking into a hotel wouldn't be viewed as the ULTIMATE overreaction, I definitely would use the 💳 my dad insisted upon giving me Jac: I can only imagine the flashbacks that would give him 🙄 Jac: not worth the stress nor satisfaction Jac: though I was thinking we could do something, go somewhere, before the Christmas hols, as we will both be obligated to go all in with the family during Savannah: there would be SO MUCH satisfaction but I promise, I'll resist and be good, for now Savannah: no such promises of 👼🏾 for a family Christmas though, so I love that idea Jac: We can make that happen with just a shower, I promise you Jac: even if we just see a bit more of Edinburgh, get that hotel, I wanna treat you Jac: and no one can stop me spending as much time as we're able lavishing attention on you before we have to go back Jac: because it's going to be stressful, we both know that much already Savannah: if you're feeling left out because your entire dorm isn't talking about us, I can make that happen once we're 🚿 Savannah: you're the most thoughtful girlfriend in the entire world, but if that's something we're about to start competing over in place of academics, that's more than fine with me Jac: I might regret saying I can handle that but Jac: I don't Jac: 😳😳 Savannah: you won't have any, I promise Jac: I love you Savannah: I'm utterly in love with you Jac: I'll never get over hearing that Savannah: you don't have to because I love your 😳 too Jac: It's so different Jac: even though we used to say it like all the time Savannah: you know I meant it every time, it just had to be different Jac: and it is Jac: third time's a charm Jac: we'll make it work this time, no matter how much work that might be Jac: because it's so worth it Savannah: yes, it is and we will Jac: I'm gonna order all your faves when you get here Savannah: 🥰 Savannah: hopefully the lecture prep won't take me too long Jac: you can always read through mine Jac: it's not like it's cheating, just a better way to do a study sesh Savannah: if you're going to send it to me, absolutely, but if you're expecting me to concentrate on reading through it when I get there, I'm sorry but there's no way Jac: I'm not that 😈 Jac: at least not at the sake of your education Savannah: & thank goodness as my parents are both already doing the most to interfere with my education right now with their constant communication Jac: yet imagine your dad in particular if you did any less than perfect Jac: I don't know how he fails to see how counterproductive the constant checking in is Savannah: or the pressure that he's been putting on me to spend Christmas with him from literally November 1st, I swear Savannah: it hasn't slipped his mind that I had no choice but to do that for the last two, even if the unfairness to my mother is something he refuses to think about Jac: Yes, I was about to say Jac: he'll have to think about how he's going to timeshare more efficiently with your mum now, just because it was his way or nothing for two whole years Jac: clearly, that didn't work so well for anyone BUT him Savannah: he thinks he can dictate to me as if I'm no older than I was when he forced me to leave & as though nothing has changed since then Savannah: I'm not going to jeopardise my mum's recovery by not spending time with her in the holidays Jac: To even suggest, let alone expect that from you Jac: even if he's not thinking about your mother, why would he want that guilt for you Jac: at least he cannot literally force you onto a plane to Sligo instead of Dublin Jac: it's getting Sienna, that needs to be planned Savannah: I'm at my wits end with her, it's like she doesn't see the problem Savannah: of course I'd understand her reluctance to spend it with mum but it's all about him, every single of her reasonings, because they aren't even really hers Savannah: she just fully believes whatever dad says Jac: 😕 That's hard Jac: because it automatically puts you in the bad guy camp Jac: because obviously it's nicer to believe that he only wants what's best etc Jac: but when she realizes that's not totally true, that'll be shattering Savannah: she's going to get hurt by him again, as if I wasn't there when he walked out teaching her to question everything that comes out of a man's mouth, that man in particular Savannah: I hate it Jac: I know 😞 Jac: all you're trying to do is protect her Jac: is she interested at coming like, at all? Jac: even if not the actual day of Savannah: It's not like I want her to spend her time and energy until her leavers cert hating him as much as I do, I know it'll be different for her now that I'm gone Savannah: but we get nowhere whenever I try to talk to her about mum, irrespective of the actual subject Savannah: I'm not giving up, of course, but I won't pretend to you that it isn't exhausting Jac: Of course you don't, you'd never tell her what to think Jac: but if you can see things differently, or remember how it was last time, it doesn't make you a bad sister, it's the opposite Jac: you never do ❤ Jac: I was just wondering, though this would be a bit morally dubious Jac: if we could trick her into spending some time with your mum Jac: I could make my sister invite her to something legit, like a family party Jac: your dad MIGHT say yes? I don't know Savannah: at this point I'm so close to walking away from everyone for the sake of my own mental health to spend the holidays alone & obviously that's not a real option I have available to me so I'm more than ready to do it & take the bad karma if it backfires Jac: I understand, last Christmas, I would've given anything to do just that Jac: I think it could work, your dad being the only potential block Jac: we could go for the second half, do New Years with her, maybe Savannah: 😞 I'm going to make sure you have the best Christmas this year, baby, whether or not this works Jac: I've got you, that's all I need for it to be perfect Jac: and we will work this out Jac: but as you said, it isn't even time yet, so you don't have to figure it all out tonight Jac: but when we do, you will have a peaceful and joyful Christmas, if it's the last thing I do Savannah: You're perfect & you're getting my undivided attention tonight, I truly do not care what opinion any or every American girl in this town has or decides to share Jac: A no-phone policy does not even need to be implemented when you're so beautiful Jac: it'd practically be a sin to not use every sense on you Jac: but seriously, whilst they may have a point, we're also further along than they might assume Jac: like I said, if they've never had a proper relationship, they're used to not getting texts back and having to be cool about it 🤷 Jac: we don't have to tone ourselves down or lessen what we have, if it doesn't serve us to do so, only in the ways it might Savannah: I will implement one though, some kind of a genuine family emergency happening again notwithstanding Savannah: I learnt a LOT about sin in Catholic school & you're totally right Savannah: you're the only person who I'd tone anything down for & since you haven't asked me, I really don't think it's necessary Jac: I appreciate it, a lot, you know that, right? Jac: the cliche isn't totally baseless then Jac: you can tell me all about it but we better keep that on the down-low �� Savannah: okay, you don't want that specific dialogue broadcast to your entire dorm, just our mutual appreciation Savannah: I can do that Jac: I can only imagine how enthusiastic the boys would be Jac: and I only care about your enthusiasm Savannah: ugh, true Savannah: I forget too easily that we're not totally on our own once the door is closed, which I'm sure is what lead to that conversation taking place earlier Jac: We aren't the only ones who do that Jac: I swear to God I've heard at least four different girls going next door 🙄 Savannah: 🙄 not to mention I'm still getting woken up by a certain person we don't like just being loud while she undergoes her morning routine, which has literally been happening since I first moved in Jac: I can't deal with how loud she is Jac: the accent makes it so grating Jac: is she trying to be an influencer? make friends? either or 😬 honey no Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'm going to have to start going to bed earlier to compensate once lectures start Jac: She a THOUSAND percent has booked herself all afternoon/evening lectures and won't get why everyone is making such a big deal ??? Jac: so that girl Jac: I do my best work in the AM, that's just facts, not all of us plan to party through the entire experience, come on Savannah: So do I, as you know, so if she doesn't take the numerous hints once they are coming from more than just me, I'll have to move in with you & be that girl Savannah: which would entirely negate all the rational points I made earlier Jac: God, there needs to be a way to complain about her without it being dead obvious Jac: an amnesty box of sorts Jac: I'm still looking for doubles but no one is moving yet Savannah: If I have to befriend her to initiate the behaviour change that way, I guess I'll get used to the accent Savannah: you've said my 🥺 is like a superpower Jac: it would be very on-brand Jac: basically work experience for us Jac: and they are but she might fall for you and then she'd be around even more Savannah: oh no, imagine how vocal she would be if she did Savannah: it would be beyond difficult to cope with Jac: I would not cope Jac: at all Jac: so I shan't imagine it Savannah: 😄 Jac: 😥 Savannah: Baby, don't 😥 Jac: I'll have to go back to being a TOTAL bitch from hell if she dares Savannah: 🥺 no Savannah: you're an angel Savannah: & she isn't worth your time or energy, I am Jac: You Jac: x2 Jac: I don't care about anyone else here Jac: in the nicest way possible, of course Savannah: except [whatever your professor bff's name is] that's evident in the notes you've sent me Jac: Okay, he's pretty cool Jac: and definitely gonna help us get perfect marks Savannah: you definitely don't need his help Savannah: I'd almost forgotten just how intelligent you are Jac: I'll try not to be offended Jac: even though I was still totally convinced you'd be going to Bath before I saw you Savannah: I mean, actually, not in a romanticised way because of how much I was in awe of you Savannah: & I did go there, before I made up my mind which offer to accept & it didn't feel right Jac: I'm only teasing, I know that Jac: 🌌💫 Savannah: we were supposed to be here together, like we always talked about Savannah: I shouldn't have ever tried to fight that Jac: I couldn't even bring myself to check your socials before Jac: I don't know what I didn't want to see more, you know Jac: confirmation either way was just, no Savannah: I understand Jac: If I'd have seen gap year plans with Milo, that would not have been it Savannah: most of the time that we were intending to plan was spent arguing anyway, I'm not sure he really wanted to go at any stage of it Savannah: with me, I mean Jac: You weren't right for each other Jac: he's lost a lot more from that deal than you have Savannah: He'll be having a lovely time in hostels, undoubtedly Savannah: it won't be a culture shock at all Jac: Checks out Jac: authentic experience Jac: inserting himself with all the other foreigners Savannah: 🙄 Savannah: if I thought he had a posh accent, lord knows what they'll think Jac: he'll be stimulating the economy, they'll pretend he's not unbearable Savannah: at least he'll be stimulating something, I suppose Jac: 😂 Jac: you said it, not me Savannah: it speaks to my experience Jac: how anyone has the nerve to 🥱 you when you're so interesting is so offensive to me Savannah: it's not his fault that nobody else could ever be as interesting to me as you are, but he is responsible for the effort, or lack of that he put in Jac: no, it'd take someone really special to fight the 🌌💫 and it's plans for us Jac: and I can imply he wasn't that person, without being petty about it Savannah: it's honesty, he wasn't that person & he'd be the first to say so Jac: you're already happier, aren't you? Jac: on this path, this direction Savannah: yes, the happiest Jac: 😊🥰 Savannah: excuse me while I have one of those moments where I can't believe any of this is really happening & fully expect to wake up in Sligo for the summer to the realisation it was the most incredible dream Jac: It's actually such a fear Jac: I never want to go to sleep when I'm with you Jac: for that reason, and the obvious being I can't look at you with my eyes closed Savannah: but if you don't your subconscious can't talk to me & you know how much I love that Jac: so far Jac: what if I say something totally stupid and betray myself 😱 Savannah: you could never say anything stupid & I know you aren't going to betray yourself or me Jac: You trust me, I trust you Savannah: exactly Jac: if I ever say anything really cringe, you can just not tell me, yeah 😅 Savannah: 😄 like what? Jac: anything our favourite American might say, for example Savannah: she isn't actually going to attempt to flirt with me, boo Jac: I know, she's the definition of straight Jac: bless her Savannah: ^^ she's the only person I would apply the word definition to, literally anyone else has the ability to change & grow but she's CLEARLY set in her loud ways Jac: ^ That's totally the vibe Jac: she made her mind up aged 10 she was right and hasn't moved an inch since, whatever the subject Savannah: you're so right Savannah: What were you like when you were 10? Jac: Oh God Jac: let me think Jac: so, fourth class, absolutely LIVID over the fact we had 2 more years of first school after that Jac: thought I was way too grown-up for EVERYTHING Jac: there was probably some boyband I was into but if there was, I don't remember but Isabelle probably still has the merch and posters on her wall Jac: hopefully I was less insufferable when we properly met those years later Jac: how about you? Savannah: I can totally relate, except of course I thought I was too grown up for boybands too Jac: Totally Jac: it was like a secret shame but she had none, Amelia neither Jac: so I kinda had to go with it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I had a very overprotective father who wouldn't have let me go to those concerts even if I had wanted to so Jac: it made sense to be anti then Jac: it was a lot of screaming and pre-teen hormones, it might've felt like it at the time, but you didn't miss out on a whole lot Savannah: if there'd been a girl band of that era I'd have been much more likely to have supported them, as a fierce little feminist Jac: Adorable Jac: you were cute, I remember that much Savannah: you've always been cute, I've seen the photos Jac: at least my hair had grown back in a decent amount by then Jac: I was so jealous of yours Savannah: really? I didn't even know how to properly style it back then Savannah: but I still insisted, obviously, instead of letting my mum help me Jac: I liked that Jac: you didn't just let your mum braid it and put a bow in Jac: I have to assume that was my logic when I cut mine Jac: independence, making my own choice Savannah: I thought I could do ANYTHING, it's embarrassing how big my aspirations were Savannah: & that there was no limit on the choices I had, there was total belief in that too Jac: it's nice Jac: I wish we stayed like that Savannah: imagine my 🥺 when I discovered inequality & where I was supposed to fit into it as a black girl, except don't because I was utterly devastated Savannah: we still have big dreams though & more choices than 10 year old me did Jac: I don't wanna cry Jac: you're still going to get everything you want Jac: and you've had to work twice as hard for it, no one can take that away from you Savannah: no 😢 we're both going to have a beautiful life Jac: ✨🌼🌷❤☀️❤🌹🌻✨ Savannah: I'll help you & you'll help me Savannah: now that I'm more willing to accept it than I was as a child Jac: and your hair is undeniably flawless Jac: we can do anything Savannah: Oh my god, it's my turn to be jealous of yours & I always am Jac: the fact you can be jealous of anyone blows my mind Jac: you are perfection Jac: but you can play with my hair all you want now Savannah: but not literally right now 🥺 Jac: life is so unfair Jac: I'm so proud of you though, working so hard Savannah: well I'm even prouder of you, these notes are flawless Jac: I've got my uses, yeah Savannah: [a picture of her own aesthetic af notes so far because we are both those bitches] Jac: [truly, could rinse the studyblr tag with these two] Jac: 😍😍😍 you've picked such pretty colours Savannah: [I have saved some cute psychology ones off pinterest for when they start their studies] Savannah: they do match my outfit but if I start sending pictures of myself I'll never finish Jac: if you start sending pictures of yourself, I'll find it harder to be supportive of your studies Savannah: I miss you too Jac: as long as we're in that together too Jac: I'll survive Jac: my room does need tidying before you get here Savannah: you're adorable, you don't have to tidy up for me Jac: for my notes to look perfect, my room has to get a little messy Jac: oh, and my hair, probably Savannah: I can fix your hair for you after we 🚿 Jac: as long as you don't think I look terrible when you show and run straight back Savannah: I've been 😢 so I don't have any room to judge but even if I did, you could never look terrible & there is no conceivable reason that I'd ever run away from you Savannah: but if you need to shown all of that when I get there, it's okay, I'm happy to Jac: I'm so needy, I'm sorry Savannah: you're allowed to want me & not be sorry Savannah: I definitely don't see it as a negative Jac: Good Jac: I haven't done this before Jac: I don't ever wanna be too much Savannah: well, you aren't doing it alone & I trust us more than the opinion of a random American girl I'm currently stuck living with Savannah: any amount of reassurance you need for any reason, it's fine, I promise Jac: 😌 I'm cool Jac: but thank you Jac: there's no one else I would want to or could do this with Savannah: there's no need to thank me, I'll do anything to make sure you feel happy & secure Jac: and I intend to return the favour, always Jac: in every way available to me Savannah: 😊 I know, I meant what I said earlier, you're very good at this, first time girlfriend or not Jac: I've got to be a worthy competitor and you're 👼🏾 Savannah: Catholic school taught me a lot about 👼🏾 too Jac: I'm so relieved they still had to give you an actual education as well Jac: I can only imagine how hard Science could've fallen by the wayside Savannah: still, I will not be enrolling my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 when they're old enough Jac: at least you don't have to make that decision for a while yet Savannah: which is just as well because my immediate response was 'thank god', how blasphemous Savannah: 🙏🏾 hasn't guided this decision but there is a LOT of  🙌🏾 involved Jac: he'd approve if that was the only precaution you took, like Savannah: his approval would have to eclipse my actual father's disapproval, which is BEYOND unlikely Jac: 🙏🏾 is less vocal Jac: it's more signs than 🔊 Savannah: I think that's ⛪️ dependent, some 🙏🏾🙌🏾 is very vocal Jac: actual GOD himself though Savannah: hmm, well he is a man Savannah: it makes communication more challenging Jac: I'm sure little Savannah would've said herself Savannah: child me would've believed that god is a woman, another dream shattered for sure Jac: a woman wouldn't have done so poorly Jac: it's a compliment, really Savannah: exactly, with the zero communication, it'd be like excuse me honey, why are you so angry at me that you've blocked me? Jac: that kind of drama is reserved for me Savannah: not even, I know what I did to you Jac: you didn't do anything to me, not on purpose, I always knew that Savannah: it wasn't on purpose but that doesn't mean it's okay Savannah: I hurt you anyway Jac: We were both hurt and hurting Jac: it was a lot Savannah: yes, but it's important that you don't make excuses for me simply because of how much you want to forgive me Jac: I won't Jac: I can just recognize my role in everything too Jac: as well as the other factors that neither of us could control Savannah: ^^ we're not going to get hung up on it to the extent that it ruins everything, but we can & will acknowledge it all so that doesn't either Savannah: I do love a balancing act 😄🙄 Jac: You do it flawlessly Jac: but we don't have to examine our past and our current behaviour constantly Jac: night's off are self-care Jac: tonight can be one of them, we'll just be Savannah: okay Savannah: I don't know why it feels like I haven't seen you in a really long time, I swear I didn't fully disassociate during my freak out earlier Jac: I feel it too Jac: judge away, everyone Jac: we're making up for lost time Savannah: they'd understand if I actually let them spend time with you instead of stealing you away on sight Jac: I can't pretend to be devastated Jac: you're the most interesting to me Savannah: I can't pretend I regret it either Jac: 🥰 Jac: we have plenty of time to socialize Jac: and we do, with people who are relevant, like people on our course and the psych society Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: It's not my fault she isn't looking over my shoulder when I'm super active in both of those group chats Savannah: I was literally setting up a study group before she cornered me, excuse her Jac: 🙄🙄🙄 I don't care for her at all, even if she's brought a potential problem to our attention before it was Jac: like thanks but still, bye though Jac: maybe the rest of her art history course does NOT love her either 😬 like if YOU'RE lonely, just say Savannah: mhmm Savannah: if anybody understands loneliness, we do Jac: right, if the ego was taken out of it, we'd try to spend time with her, and loads of other people in your dorm etc would too Jac: she's not helping herself rn Savannah: I also totally understand overconfidence as a front for insecurity, like hello??! She could have an ally in me if she'd approach things differently Jac: 🤞 she gets there before the year is out Jac: I don't want anyone struggling, seriously Jac: but I know forcing friendships when they aren't happening naturally isn't healthy Jac: never mind accepting people's toxic behaviour when we're actively trying not to do or be that Savannah: I couldn't agree more Savannah: though, despite what I said before about her not flirting with me, there is a very high possibility she'll fall in love with you if you keep being so perfect Savannah: everyone will Savannah: it's not as if she has to like girls to appreciate your intelligence, empathy or compassion, even if understanding your resilience & determination is clearly a harder task for her right now Savannah: a beautiful soul is a beautiful soul Jac: 🥺 Jac: Baby Jac: beautiful recognizes beautiful, that's all I have to say Jac: you make me feel so much better than I've ever thought I am Savannah: I can't say if I achieve nothing else while I'm here I'll be satisfied, because you know me better than that, but I am proud to be able to list that as an ongoing one because I've never met a better person than you Savannah: you deserve to feel it Savannah: & if you are what you love, what a good person you are shamelessly works in my favour too Jac: you're the most incredible person I've ever known Jac: it just sounds like a baseless compliment, there's no way to adequately put it, at least not without some serious time and work to try Savannah: not from you, there's no such thing Jac: I'm not the one that can write songs, sadly Savannah: but you could write a song I'd like more Jac: 😅 Savannah: I know he's your brother but no Jac: Don't worry, not a weird clause that to date me you have to think his music is amazing Jac: I'd actually hate that, to be honest Savannah: I'm beyond relieved Jac: I'm relieved no one here knows who he is, or who I am in relation Jac: that was getting annoying, towards the end Savannah: poor boo, I can't even imagine Jac: oh well Jac: this fresh start is going better than I could have even dreamed on my craziest day Savannah: me too & you're really keeping me sane Jac: God knows we've got to get through this experience and THRIVE Savannah: ^^ 👏🏾 Savannah: We will, failure to do so is literally not an option Jac: Exactly Jac: I refuse Jac: to let either of us Savannah: speaking of, these notes are done Savannah: so I'll be there soon Jac: I'll come out with the blasphemy too Jac: because I need to see you so bad now Savannah: It's mutual Jac: Hurry Jac: but don't forget your coat, it's cold Savannah: 🥰 I totally would have for the same reason I don't think either of us can be held responsible for what we're about to say, so thank you Jac: I can't let you freeze Jac: even though warming you up is beyond a welcome responsibility Savannah: & I can't lie, my coat is more fashionable than practical, I'll still need you Jac: You've got me Jac: shower, tea and all the bed cuddles you could want Savannah: you're going to make me cry again Jac: sweetie Jac: you can cry but wait 'til you're inside and with me so we don't have to thaw out the icicle teardrops Savannah: [a picture of her with that glitter tears filter than samantha loves so much because sadly I don't actually have one] Jac: Wow Jac: that's my girlfriend Savannah: I can't get over hearing that from you Jac: I can't get over saying it Jac: even just to myself Savannah: It sounds so different when a boy says it Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I don't even know how to explain it, it's like it stripped me of something instead of giving me something Savannah: it felt like, oh, I'm just your girlfriend now, okay Jac: like a kind of diminishment of who you are Jac: not the pride to be with you and know you and love you Jac: I see that Jac: I was never anyone's girlfriend, but that's the feeling I got from them Jac: a title for THEM not YOU Savannah: of course you understand, you always do Jac: not that I was bothered what they thought Jac: but it would have been upsetting if I was, definitely Savannah: I hate that Jac: it's okay, that's all over Savannah: I'm going to make you so happy Jac: I know you will

[persephone-is-here-omg]

So... I saw a post this morning. And I've been thinking about it.

Also, this is me, totally, projecting my own experience as someone who lives in a place people wanna leave into Steve and Bucky's relationship. So feel free to think whatever you want.

I wanna preface this by saying that I don't think Steve could have done more for Bucky than he had already done before Endgame. And it was even more meaningful because every time Steve went out of his way to save Bucky, it was proven at some point it was the right thing to do. And then Steve and the rest of the team saved the Universe, and in doing so brought Bucky back. Once again.

Of course, Bucky looked sad when Steve left. I've been in a similar position several times in the last 3 or 4 years. Friends and family leaving for the oportunity of a better life. Obviously, you are sad, because this person that means so much to you is leaving. That doesn't mean you don't agree with what they're doing: Seeking the oportunity of a better life? A more happy one? Humans are complicated. And, as I've experienced many times, you can in fact be happy and sad over the same thing at the same time.

Bucky can fare pretty well on his own. He's been there and done that. He was on his own for over 18 months between Winter Soldier and Civil War. He is not dependent on Steve. And he has come to a point where he can and will save himself when it comes to it. I refuse to see Bucky and Steve as grossly co-dependent as a lot of people in the Marvel fandom make them out to be. Because, wether fictional or real, that is not healthy. More so, if this was a male/female relationship a lot of the same people who paint Steve and Bucky as co-dependent would be up in arms talking about how un-healthy their relationship is.

I won't, either, accuse anyone of "queer-baiting" with their relationship. Why? Because no one at Marvel ever said they were gay. Y'all told that to yourselves. And that is a valid interpretation. But, canonically speaking... No one queerbaited y'all but yourselves.

Another thing that completely baffles me is this idea that the only reason Steve would help Bucky is because he's in love with him. And that interpretation of what drives Steve to do the right thing says more about you as a person than as him as character. You mean to say that the only reason you'd go out of your way to help someone is because you want to fuck them? And not because it is the right thing to do? Or, simply, because hey are your friend? Because if that is it, fuck that.

Fuck. That.

But going back to the initial point: Bucky looked sad because seeing your best friend leave is sad. That doesn't mean you don't agree with what they're doing or that you're not happy for them. And this is me totally speaking from personal experience, so, whatever.

[strawbnie]

Hi, here the anon that sent that ask regarding the mutual crush with the girlfriend that "dumped" me off last week. After he told me that he won't leave his gf (and the kiss) he acts so weird, I know we can't talk about it and working with him is so strange because he acts like nothing happened. Today he invited me to have lunch with him and I said no because I don't feel like being close to him but I miss him and I'm angry because it looks like i'm the only who's hurt. Help.

OKAY FIRST OF ALL SDFJKSFLSJF THIS IS SUCH A DIFFICULT SITUATION ANd while im very glad u r coming to me w the details and all i genuinely wish i could help u and i know there’s not much i can do, if anything. I think that obviously he’s hurt too, but it makes sense it’s not as apparent because he has a support system in his girlfriend, and idk if you’ve told any of your offline friends about the situation?? because it genuinely would help to have a support system right there with you. i don’t know what you could do, although i think that keeping your distance for as long as you need to could be healthy and good for you as long as it’s not out of spite, which i totally get if it is (like… id totally do that kladjflsjf) but it’s probably not very productive or helpful to you. this is just honestly such a huge pickle for lack of a better term and i?? really really hope things get sorted soon