#Now we can finally know what they’re saying!!!
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I want to speak out against the whole push towards DEI. I feel that ever since you made the push to make identity the forefront of a character it has hurt the stories you tell. Captain Sisay's race was never the focus of her character and she was a complete badass! And I fear if you did it over again Gerrard would be trans, black and disabled just because. It also cheapens the stories of world devastation when characters worry more about their gender than Bolas destroying everything.
The reason I started this blog is so we can have frank conversations about things, so please let’s talk about this.
Imagine if every time you turned on the TV or watched a movie, no one looked like you. For some of us, that’s never happened. We see ourselves constantly, so it’s hard to truly understand what not seeing yourself represented in media is like.
I do have a personal window to this experience. While I am white and male, there’s an area where I am the minority - my religion. Jews are just under two and a half percent of the US population. I have had many experiences where I’ve been in situations where everything is geared towards a group I do not belong to, and zero consideration is given that not everyone at that event is part of the majority.
You just feel invisible and like an outsider. It’s not a great feeling. And I just experience it a tiny portion of time, only things that are geared specifically towards something religious. Most minorities have this feeling all the time, whenever they’re outside their personal community.
Now imagine, after years of not seeing yourself ever, you finally see someone that looks like you, but nothing about the character rings remotely true. They don’t sound like you, they don’t act like you, the facts about their day-to-day life are just wrong. It’s clear whoever wrote the character didn’t truly understand the lived experience of the character, so the character feels fake.
You bring up Sisay. Michael Ryan and I didn’t technically create Sisay (she played a small role in the Mirage story), but we did do a lot to flesh out her character as the creators of the Weatherlight Saga. We turned her from a minor character into a major one.
And while I’m proud, in general, of our work on the Weatherlight Saga, I don’t think we did justice to Sisay as a character. Neither Michael nor I have any knowledge of what it’s like to be a black woman. Nor did we ever talk to someone who did.
And if you’re someone like us that has no knowledge of that experience, you probably didn’t notice. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.
Imagine if we made a movie about your life, and we just made everything up. We invented people you never knew, we gave you a job you never had, and we had you say things you’d never say. The movie might even be a good movie, but your response would be, but that’s not my life - that’s not me.
Now imagine we put the movie out, and people that never met you assumed that was what you were like. When people met you for the first time, they assumed things, because, you know, they’d seen the movie.
That’s what misrepresenting people does. It not only makes them feel not seen, it falsely represents them, spreading lies, often stereotypes, making people believe things about them that aren’t true.
Our move towards diversity is just us trying to better reflect the world and the people in it. We’re trying to do to everyone else what a certain portion of people get every day without ever having to think about it.
But why are we “making it the forefront of their character”? We’re not. We’re making it a part of their character. But in a world where you’re not used to ever seeing it, it feels louder than it is. Things that are a natural part of the world that you’re used to feel like the background of the story because you understand the context to it.
If a man kisses his wife before going off to a battle, that’s not a big deal. It’s just a thing a husband might do to his wife when he leaves. It’s not the forefront of his character. It’s just part of his life. But you’ve seen it hundreds of times, so it feels normal.
When someone does something that isn’t your lived experience it pulls focus. It seems like a big deal, but only because it’s new to you. It’s just as mundane a thing to that character as the man kissing his wife is to him.
Even the turn “pushing” implies that it’s unnaturally here, that we’re forcing something that naturally shouldn’t be. But why? That thing exists naturally in the real world, and it doesn’t make the real world any less. Maybe you’re less aware of it, but is making you aware of how others live their life “pushing” something on you?
How you live your life is represented constantly, everywhere. Why isn’t over-representing your experience at the expense of everyone else’s “pushing” it? Why is media only being the experience of those in power the “proper way”?
Having more depth and variety doesn’t lessen stories. It makes them deeper, more rich, more nuanced. In short, it makes them better stories. In my former life, I was a professional writer. I took a lot of writing classes. One of the truism of writing is “speaking truth leads to better stories”.
There’s another famous quote: “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” You’re used to being over-represented, so being a little less over-represented feels like something has been taken from you. But really it hasn’t. Having a better sense of the rest of the world comes with a lot of benefits.
I’ll use food as an example. Let’s say all you were ever exposed to was the food of your heritage. Yeah, that food is really good, but sometimes isn’t it nice to eat foods of other nationalities? Isn’t your life better that you have a choice? Isn’t your exposure and access to the food of other nationalities a positive in your life?
Exposure to variety is a positive. It allows you to learn about things you didn’t know, experience things things you’ve never experienced, and get a better sense of understanding of your friends and neighbors.
Our actions are not to harm anyone, and if you think that’s what we’re doing, please take a minute to actually absorb what I’m saying. You’ve spent your whole life metaphorically eating one type of food, and we’re just trying to show you how much you’ve missed out on.
And while this might not impact you directly, we’re making a whole bunch of people felt seen. We’re bringing joy. Think of it this way. We make a lot of cards. Not every card is for you. But if it makes someone else happy, if they get to include it in a deck, and it makes Magic better for them, how is it harming you that we include it? You have so many cards that you can play.
To this poster or people that share their viewpoint, the narrative that a gain for someone else is an attack on you is just not true. As I just pointed out above, you play a game all about personal choice, about players getting to choose how they play and enjoy the game. Why should life be any different than Magic?
Thanks for reading.
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part thirty-three —other parts
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b067b5f5c3b399c9183442560ca09894/256a02f24d91226d-63/s540x810/8e67fcb005e595561dc9f4687d798e3ed8af4b4e.jpg)
pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 4.5k tags: death. blood and gore. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. enemies to lovers. harm to a child. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: clearly I am bad at estimating how long this story will take lol
Alexandre is not as susceptible to pain.
The guard outside his home didn’t register his death, not with Ghost as a shadow at his back. One wrench to his neck, and Kyle plucked the key off his corpse, gently opening the planked door. As the three of them swept the inside, you and Ari hoisted the body in. A sudden crash of breaking glass and the sounds of a struggle made it clear—they got Alexandre. He must have woken up.
But restrained to a dining chair by chains from the slaughterhouse, all he offers up is a bloody tooth on the floor—nothing about Blue or the weapons.
"Brûlez en enfer, pécheurs!"
Ghost snarls and tears a fistful of hair from his scalp. Alexandre only spits more blood, teeth clenched.
"He's wasting our time," you mutter, dread curling in your chest. A glance at the window—the sky could turn deep purple any second. You touch Ghost's elbow. "We should just look for—"
"He'll talk."
Ghost draws the knife. He drives his knuckles into Alexandre’s mouth, smothering the scream as the blade severs his pinky. Blood spills over raw bone. Finally, he writhes—eyes rolling back, knees violently shaking.
"Tell us where everything is, or these go next," Ghost snaps, holding up his middle and ring fingers.
He pulls his fist from his mouth. Alexandre sputters, lips twitching from the pain. Under his breath, he groans, "Sal... Mon enfant."
"What is he saying?" Kyle presses.
Ghost positions the knife at the next digit. "Speak up. English."
Alexandre's eyes threaten to close. He whispers something quieter—
"Salome?" you speak up.
His eyes snap open at the name.
You lower beside Ghost, leaning closer, your eyes darting over his swollen face. "Salome. Your 'enfant.' The child is yours, isn’t it?" A flicker of rage flares in his nostrils, and you quietly press on, "You must be worried about her. She was tending to us, you know. Don’t you want to know if she lives? It'd be a shame if she doesn’t. She was so excited for the baby, especially after losing the first one in the winter. I’m guessing that one was yours, too." You let the words hang, then wet your lips, feigning consideration. "The thing is, it’s been a long night. My memory’s hazy. Can’t recall if I slit her throat or not, but I do remember her begging me to spare her—for the child’s sake."
At this, he jolts. "Tu fais chier—"
Ghost covers his mouth.
You keep your voice smooth. "Maybe if you tell us where the girl and the weapons are, I’ll remember. Otherwise, he’ll kill you, and you’ll die not knowing."
The silence breaks as Ghost drives the knife into the base of his finger. Alexandre grits out, "The girl... I don’t know where my mother kept her. But if sunrise is near... She could be at the chapel now, to prepare."
The one you saw? "How many chapels are there here?" you ask.
"Only one for... offerings."
You glance at Ghost and whisper, "If we can find the road, I could get us back to it."
He nods, not looking away from Alexandre. "The guns," he says. "Where are they?"
"I can... show you."
"You're not showing us shit. Tell us exactly where to find them."
Alexandre holds his gaze. "I could tell you wrong, yes? Waste your time. Or I can show you, and you can kill me if they’re not there."
"Don’t let him play games, Simon," Price calls from behind.
Ghost exhales roughly.
Alexandre looks at you. "But you must tell me of Salome first."
"She's alive," you tell him. "But if you don’t show us where the guns are, it’s not just you who will die."
The chains bite into his wrists as Ghost yanks him up by his soiled lapel. A pistol pressed to his temple, Alexandre stumbles forward, his feet dragging over the corpse at the door before leading you outside. The moonlight feels sharper, casting shadows over the pitted ground as you step carefully beside him, scanning the area. No more alarms yet. But when the guards change shifts, that won’t last.
No one speaks as he leads you around the pasture and barn, toward the back, where the silhouette of a small shed takes shape in the darkness. As you near, a three-tuned call cuts through the air, beckoning Alexandre's gaze to the sky, a soft murmur escaping his lips: "La tourterelle chante pour toi."
"Shut up."
Ghost strikes the back of his head with the gun to silence him.
You stop in front of the shed. It is only just bigger than the one you used to sleep in.
"Is this it?"
"Yes," Alexandre nods. "Inside."
Kyle is the one to kick open the door. As expected, the smell of rusty metal hits your nose as you take in the clutter of rakes, shovels, and scythes. There is a wheelbarrow against the wall with nothing inside but residual soil. No weapons in sight.
Ghost cocks the pistol. "You're fucking around with your kid's life—"
"Under the floor," Alexandre flinches, then juts his chin at the planks of wood, "The extra guns, ammo. It is under there."
Ghost shoves the gun into Kyle’s hand. Without hesitation, Kyle takes over, keeping it steady as Ghost drops to his knees, running his fingers over the floorboards. A sharp knock—hollow. He drives his knife between the slats and pries them open.
The unmistakable glint of metal catches your eye. Rifles. Green and gold cartridges, too. Ghost inhales sharply, tearing up more of the floor. Price moves in, yanking out boxes, sorting through the ammo they need to load up. You linger by the door, glancing back over your shoulder. The guns are yours. Now, you'll need to find the chapel. Maybe Blue isn’t there yet. Maybe you can get there first.
Lost in thought, you almost miss it—that softly cooing dove, the kind you used to wake up to in England. Again, Alexandre mutters in French beside you where Kyle quiets him with a shove at his shoulder. Then you detect a shift in the air—no, you squint and realize it is movement in the grass by the barn.
Alexandre suddenly shouts, "La tourterelle chante pour toi!"
The echo of his words is followed by the crack of a pistol. Kyle’s shot strikes his head, and his body crumples at your feet.
You whip around, panic flaring in your chest as you look at Ghost. "Someone was there. He said something to warn them. They're going to wake up the others!"
Ghost's glare snaps towards Kyle. "The gunshot probably already did."
Kyle releases a growl. "Fuck, I didn't think—"
"Take this," Price interrupts, throwing a loaded rifle at Kyle.
For you, Nereida, and Ari, a small handgun.
But by the time your finger seeks out the trigger, you hear a myriad of voices shout from the barn.
B
Blue sits at a small table. Across from her is that old woman, eating silently. Only the sound of metal on ceramic, and gentle chewing, fills the dining room. Blue's teeth mechanically grind a tart, red berry into pulp, then let it slide down her throat, her eyes never leaving the white plate. On the faintly reflective surface, a years-old memory blurs into focus.
She sits in the back of her dad’s truck, her small hands folded in her lap. The air is thick with the smell of cigarette smoke. Her eyes are fixed on the passing buildings and people, the streets beginning to feel unfamiliar. Then, her dad mutters something low under his breath, the tires screeching as he sharply veers into a petrol station.
He unbuckles and slams the front door, moving quickly around the truck to help her out. "Come on, kid," he says quietly, lifting her up gently before setting her on the ground. Her hand slips instinctively into his.
"Don’t look at anyone," he mutters as he tugs her toward the small food mart.
"Why, daddy?" she whispers up at him.
"Because I said so."
"Why are we here?"
"I need to get something."
"What for?"
The silence stretches between them, and a cold knot of fear tightens in her stomach. He doesn’t answer, and she can’t remember how they got here. She had been in her bedroom, where her mother had told her to stay. There was shouting through the door before it flung open, then her father grabbed her, and suddenly, her mom’s voice faded behind them.
Her father guides her through the aisles, pulling items off shelves. She tries not to look at the old man nearby, her eyes fixed on the hem of his jacket, her fingers nervously tugging at it.
"Why isn’t my mum coming with us?" she asks.
He doesn't answer. They move to the cash register, and after he pays, they head back to the truck. Her eyes sting. She rips her hand from his and shakes her head, her voice breaking.
"I want to go back, daddy."
"You're not going back."
"I want to!"
He kneels in front of her, gripping her chin as her tears spill. A woman filling her car glances over, and he lowers his voice so only she can hear. "I know you're scared, but listen to me, Amelia. Remember that game we play? The one where the bad guys are after us, and we have to get away from them?"
She nods weakly, tears streaking down her face.
"What do we call each other when we play that game, baby?"
"Blue and Ghost," she answers, her voice small.
"Right. We’re playing it again, okay? But this time, it’s not a game. Right now, you’re Blue, and I’m Ghost. You listen to everything I say so I can keep you safe. Do you understand, Blue?"
She struggles to breathe.
"Tell me, do you understand?"
"Daddy, I—"
"No. Not daddy. Ghost."
"Ghost... please, I want to go home."
His voice repeats her new name, over and over, as he shakes her chin, and she cries harder. She looks over at the woman filling her car as she fades into something strange—milky eyes and grey skin—and when Blue looks back to her father, he’s gone. All that remains is the white plate, stained with red raspberry juice.
"Blue."
Blue lifts her gaze, her eyes locking on the old woman across from her. The woman's leathery skin shifts to grey in the pale moonlight streaming through the window. She chews a berry slowly, takes a sip of milk, then speaks. "Tell me. Why do you call yourself this?"
She struggles to pull her voice to the present, looking back at the plate and quietly answering after a moment, "It is... it is the name I've used to survive."
"You are a strong girl, that much is clear," Maman compliments idly. "But sometimes, God does not want us to fight. There is strength in acceptance."
When breakfast is finished, Eloise brushes her hair until it’s buttery soft down her back. Then, they leave. Blue smells the dew on the grass, her toes curling in her shoes to endure the pain of keeping up with them. No matter how lightly she spreads her weight, the wounds split wider, blood silently squishing beneath her soles. Any blood she left behind would be invisible in the dark, but Ghost always noticed things she never could. She picks at her fingernails as they reach a road, which reminds her of when they were walking through, seeing a few abandoned cars left at the sides.
They walk for some time until she smells the Greys. The rot is pungent in the brisk air. Then, she hears the low hum of hymns coming from a small building—a church. She only knows this because of a deep memory with the old woman she called grandmother who used to take her to one. The stained glass glows faintly with dim golden light inside. They approach the large door, and Blue stands outside it, her knees trembling, but her shoulders managing to stay upright.
Maman glances down at her, hand resting on the door. "In God's presence, Amelia, there is no need to survive anymore. You will accept his punishment—and his forgiveness. Tell me, do you understand?"
Blue grits her teeth.
The voice edges softer. "Do you understand, Amelia?"
"I understand."
Behind her, Eloise takes hold of her wrists and ties them together with what feels like prickly twine.
The door creaks open under Maman’s push, revealing rows of pews and cold stone walls. Blue swallows hard, tasting her own heartbeat in her throat as she takes in everything she can before stepping inside. The narrow aisle spills out into an altar, where the same two Greys they muzzled the other day are chained to the floor, their snarls and moans adding a discordant layer to the throaty hymns echoing from the right side of the church. There, the veiled women sit, their heads bowed. On the left, the men. A bony hand presses at her back, urging her forward. Through the fog of fear, she counts them: just three men, plus Pierre—the one from before—standing beside the leashed Greys.
The lingering scent of old blood mixes with the fresh, sharp tang of melting candlewax. Her footsteps are small, barely making a sound against the stone, and the pain seems to fade into nothingness, until she misteps around a scurrying rat. A sharp pang burns through her foot, forcing her teeth to grind. Tears well in her eyes, but she doesn’t let a single one fall, her focus locked on her surroundings. The flickering candles on the altar, the glint of Maman's knife as she unsheathes it, the flicker of hunger in the endless moans—each step draws her closer to the Greys.
When she finally stops, she stands between them, the chains and muzzles the only thing keeping their mouths from finding her flesh.
As Maman begins to murmur in French, a fleeting thought crosses her mind: Can her mother see her now, dressed in a beautiful gown, having grown into her features, even though the shape of her face still carries the strength of her father's? Can she see the fear she can no longer contain, spilling into violent breaths that tear through her chest?
"Venez vous nourrir de sa chair pure, et en retour, bénissez-nous avec plus de nourriture pour l'hiver et des bébés en bonne santé pour vos nouveaux peuples."
Beneath Maman's words, Blue hears something. A distant, piercing sound that reminds her of a gunshot.
Dad?
She glances at the door, then at the faces around her, but no one else seems to have heard it.
A cold hand snatches her arm, the unwounded one, and Blue whimpers. Then she is turned around to face the pews.
"Une coupure pour les faire festoyer!"
The knife draws a matching cut, the release of blood making the Greys jerk within their restraints.
A man stands and unlocks one Grey's chains, while Pierre handles the other. The screech of metal cuts through the air, and with a shout, the creatures are freed. Blue’s heart slams in her chest. Maman's low, cruel laugh reaches Blue's ears just as she drops to the ground and scrambles backward, bumping into the altar and making it rattle. She screams when rotten hands clamp around her ankles—instinct taking over. She wriggles free of her blood-soaked shoes and kicks them as far as possible toward the people in front of her.
The shoes hit the ground with a quiet squelch, and the Greys snap toward them, momentarily confused by their scent of blood. A veiled woman screams, her dress now stained with a red footprint, and the other women scramble for the door as the Greys hurl through the aisle. In that fleeting moment of distraction, Blue pushes herself up, hands shaking as she clutches the twine binding her wrists. She holds it over the candle, praying the small flame will burn through it.
"Come on, come on."
Just before the twine can snap, a hand yanks at her shoulder to spin her around.
"Stupid girl!"
Blue growls like a cornered animal and spits into Maman’s eyes. Sneering, Maman slashes the knife across Blue’s cheek, sending fresh blood down to her lips. The Greys, no longer distracted, screech as they again zero in on the scent of her bleeding wounds.
Through the pain, Blue strains with all her strength, forcing her wrists apart until the charred twine snaps, freeing her hands. Maman grabs her by the dress, but Blue blindly reaches for the only thing within reach—the candle—and jams the burning wick into the old woman's face.
"Fuck you!"
It is enough to make her writhe in pain, giving Blue the opening to snatch the knife from her hand. With a wrecked cry, she stabs the old woman’s throat, then kicks her in the stomach just as the Greys reach them. Maman’s mouth lets out a final gurgling, blood-soaked cry, and Blue watches, panting hard, as the Greys grab her and tear their teeth into her torn neck.
"Maman!"
Pierre shouts, rushing over.
Blue bolts away from them, her soaked feet nearly slipping. She shoves a screaming woman out of her way near the door and bursts outside into the breaking dawn. That's when she hears more gunshots, clearer in the open air, and spots a distant plume of smoke. Without hesitation, she runs in that direction.
T
The first round of gunfire kicks up dirt at your heels before you can even react. Ghost yanks you into a sprint, pulling you away from the shed. Men pour through the barn’s back door, giving chase. Somewhere in the chaos, you hear Price’s voice barking orders, his gunfire answering theirs—but there’s no time to look over your shoulder. Ghost grips your elbow and drags you behind an old tractor, shoving you into cover as bullets whizz through the air.
The others tumble beside you, Price forcing Nereida's head low behind the large tire.
"There’s nowhere else to take cover," Kyle curses. He and Ghost peek over the tractor, firing off shots, but the sound of pounding boots grows closer. There are too many of them, and not enough time to stop their advance.
You swallow hard, heart pounding, and risk a quick glance around the tractor’s hood. The haystacks are right there, and you remember how dry they felt around your ankles when you covered the corpses. You grab Ghost by the wrist and pull your mouth to his ear so he can hear you.
"The hay is flammable—can you light it somehow?"
His jaw sets in understanding when your words register. He closes an eye and redirects his aim, instead firing rapidly at the base of one of the stacks. Stray sparks leap into the air, and for a moment, your stomach sinks when nothing happens. Then, the straw catches—one spark, then another, and the flames grow fast, swallowing vegetation along the ground. Thick, black smoke whips into the air.
"Il y a putain de feu!"
"Let's move!" Ghost shouts.
You're running again, using the distraction to your advantage, the veiled hood flying off your hair. The sudden silence in the gunfire gives you a moment to look around, and with a rush of terror, you realize that a sliver of sunlight has crept over the horizon. The sky above is no longer the pure black of night.
"Simon, we have to get to her!"
"Where's the chapel?"
"I don't know! I-I need to see the road to find it."
The farm stretches out in every direction, the lack of light making it hard to see anything far off. You stop for a moment, trying to orient yourself. Maybe if you could just—
Another shot hits the ground, close enough to feel the heat on your toes. You barely catch a glimpse of the men still chasing you before a cloud of smoke bursts from the ground. It’s not from the fire he started—it’s a smoke bomb, just like the one they used to disorient you the first time.
The smoke stings your eyes and lungs. You clamp your mouth shut to avoid breathing it in.
"Drop to the ground!" Ghost growls in your ear, loud enough to hear over the gunfire you can only hope is coming from Kyle and Price.
You obey, hitting the ground hard with his arm firm around your waist. He grips your dress, guiding you as you crawl through the smoke’s underbelly, where the air is clearer. Down here, you can see just enough to navigate forward, the blind gunfire whizzing harmlessly overhead. But as Ghost hauls you to your feet, a new panic grips you—you can no longer see the others.
"Where are they?"
Through the tears in your eyes, you can't make out anything past the smoke at your backs.
"Price can handle it. Come on."
For a brief second, you hesitate, torn between ensuring they’re alright and following him—but the encroaching sunrise makes the decision for you. There is nothing else you can do but keep running, hoping something will look familiar as you weave between nothing but stalks of wheat and the small homes. You’ve gained enough distance to escape their line of fire, and when you look back, the flames by the barn seem to have stopped swelling, but that is all you make out before something rams into your side.
"Femme pécheresse, regarde ce que tu as fait!"
The stray guard wrestles your body to the grass, a blade at your throat slicing a shallow welt into the skin, but he is ripped off you within seconds. Ghost breaks the man's neck, steals the pistol from his belt, then tosses it to you. He takes your free hand to help you up, and only as your finger smoothes over the trigger do you realize your other gun is gone.
He turns to keep moving, and part of you wants to sob in rage that you still don't know if you're even headed the right way. Then you see it—something in the grass. You grab his hand. "Look there. What is that?"
His gaze follows yours to the distinctive red stain embedded into the ground. Faint, but there. He leans down to touch it. "It's fresh."
"It could be hers, Simon," you urge.
He stalks forward, fingers hovering before pressing into a faint footprint. "It's her size. This way."
Blood smears lead you to the main road, and your chest tightens at the sight of the cars. This was the route through Fleurbaix. You recognize it. You scan both directions, spotting a white BMW in the distance—a flash of memory.
"I peed by that car. The chapel’s over there," you say, pointing to the stone roof barely visible ahead.
The sudden pierce of a scream confirms it.
B
Blue barely manages to get far before the sound of booted steps echoes behind her. She flits her head around in panic, ducking beneath the first car she sees and holding her breath. The distinct rustle of chains, accompanied by a snarl, unfurls her eyes. She glances up into the warped side mirror of another vehicle, catching sight of a cloaked figure. That man who'd helped Maman—Pierre—is looking around, one of the Greys in tow, its muzzle back on.
"Come out, petite fille. You cannot hide from a démon. Not when your smell is so strong."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she uses the sleeve of her dress to soundlessly wipe her bloody cheek as if that might help but pitifully realizes her feet and arm are even worse. The movement causes her bare foot to dig into a sharp rock, and she bites her tongue hard to keep from crying out. The footsteps halt, then switch directions.
When the Grey lunges toward the car, Blue leaps out and runs blindly, adrenaline pushing past the dizziness. Pierre shouts and follows, the Grey leading him, its draw to flesh tracking her even as she tries to weave behind the rose bushes. Spotting a tree, she glances over her shoulder one last time before hugging the narrow trunk and using all her strength to climb. What’s usually easy becomes a struggle as pain shoots up her legs when her feet try to find purchase on the bark. Her grip slips, and she falls hard onto her back.
Before she can lift to her elbows, a frothy mouth leaps in front of her face. She screams, writhing beneath the muzzled Grey, as Pierre hovers over her. "You could have earned God's grace, but instead, you killed her." Bitterness laces his voice. "Maman would want you dead, no matter what form the offering takes."
Blue tries scrambling backward, but a boot steps on her freshly cut wrist, twisting around and effectively pinning her. She chokes on a sob, fingers trembling in the dirt below her. The man reaches down to unscrew the muzzle, and in this moment she prays to whatever stupid god there might be, that Ari was right, that being eaten fully is better than the infection from a mere bite.
She screws her eyes shut, bracing for the pain, but instead, her ears ring from a sharp sound. A weight crashes down on top of her, and when she opens her eyes, she wonders if she’s been drugged again. There, in her vision, is her father—his bare torso covered in blood and grime, his face contorted with rage as he shoves Pierre into the tree.
"Blue!"
It’s Twix. She shoves the Grey’s corpse off of Blue and scoops her into her arms. Blue freezes, unable to return the hug, her gaze fixed on her father as he rips a knife from his belt and stabs it into Pierre's hands, pinning them above his head to the bark.
When Pierre tries to kick him, Ghost shoots both his knees.
"Seigneur, s'il vous plaît, épargne-moi dans l'au-delà!"
The plea is choked off as Ghost rips the lower mandible free, the jagged bone tearing through flesh, leaving the tongue to flop uselessly, twitching and gasping for air. Twix's arms tighten around her, urging her to hide her eyes within her neck, but Blue keeps watching as Ghost snarls rabidly, finishing the kill by slamming the butt of his rifle into Pierre's skull, caving it in with a loud crack.
Only when he turns around, shoulders heaving, does she realize it’s truly him—and not a dream. He kneels on the ground, and Twix releases her into his chest, the solid feel of it absorbing the tremors that wrack through her limbs as she cries. Ghost cups the back of her hair, and despite the pained breath in his chest, he lifts her up, clutching her close. Her nose presses into his neck, struggling to breathe as she inhales the scent of him.
"D-daddy," she croaks.
"It's me, it's me."
"I-I'm alive."
Something raw pushes through his teeth. "Fuck—you're okay, baby girl. I'm here. I've got you. I've got you." His fingers tighten against her scalp. "Hold tight to me. I won't let you go this time."
"Sal... My child." "You're a pain in the ass—" "The turtle dove sings for you." "The turtle dove sings for you!" "Come feed on her pure flesh, and in return, bless us with more food for the winter and healthy babies for your new people." "A cut to make them feast!" "There's a fucking fire!" "Sinful woman, look what you've done!" "Come out, little girl. You cannot hide from a demon. Not when your smell is so strong." "Lord, please spare me in the afterlife!"
#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#cod#zombie apocolypse au
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technically has to do with this but you tend to teach your friends things unconsciously solely because they’re that interested in you.
I have this friend (one of my closest best friends that I met last year). I was really hesitant to meet them bc I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself again but that’s beside the point. They’re in one of my classes and before I met them was very prone to anger if something ticked them off but was capable to mask it completely.
When we finally talked we clicked immediately because we had a lot of the same interests so we already had an emotional bond instantly. They started rubbing off on me with little things like their accent (a mix of Greek and Puerto Rican) and the ability to mask my anger to some very beneficial stuff like starting to take care of myself and being proud of what I do! Why? Because what they say about what I do is just so motivating that I’m starting to strive more and more to do the best I can to make them proud. When I’m around them I get butterflies and I just wanna tweak out and hug them and just tell them how much I love them (platonically). To say I owe my life to them is an understatement. They saved my life time and time again.
Back to the story though. So a few months into our friendship (5 months), I had a breakdown on a face time call with them. To calm me down, they started to talk about what I’ve done for them. One thing stood out from what they said.
“You made me be patient”
“what.?”
I somehow taught them to be patient although I myself am not patient. I asked them to explain and they did. I was always patient and waited when they were busy w/ god knows what, I stopped what I was doing to help them in any way I could. If they needed a break, I’d wait till I got word that they were okay now. I thought that was just being nice???? they said I had the unconscious tendency to make sure they’re okay before I took care of myself which made them take care of themself.
your friends like you so much more than they put on. i really do mean it.
Notice: not only do your friends actually like you, they secretly like you twice as much as they let on
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focal point ☆ chapter 6 | l.n
summary: 'she was like a shot of espresso' - andrew garfield (but also lando norris)
warnings: art student!reader, best friend/college student!oscar, college student!lando, slight enemies to lovers!au, slight grumpy x sunshine, language, finally finding out who lily's chem guy is (!!!!!), fluff to the max for our lovebirds (we're finally getting somewhere)
message from jordan: 2 chapters in one week?? who am i??? also life without f1 is so boring can we put these cars on track already 😩😩😩
series masterlist | listen to the playlist
"can you sit still for just five seconds?"
"i am!" he laughed softly, now used to the way your hands had repositioned his head to go back to the pose he had been holding.
"well, try harder." you laughed back at him, causing him to shake his head. the two of you had been at this for about two hours now, the room filled with giggles, small talk, and the low music playing from his laptop.
"let's take a break, yeah?"
you nodded, "yeah, sounds good."
you placed your project down and are taking it in for a moment. you were proud of the outcome you had so far. it was looking far better than you had imagined it to be.
but nearing the end of your project, and nearing the date of his econ exam made an unsettling feeling arise. were the two of you just going to stop hanging out after all this? when you both got what you wanted?
you used to pray for that day to come quick, but now you didn't want it to come at all.
you stretched out on the mattress, letting out a soft sigh as your body loosened from the previous position you had been sitting in for far too long. he leaned over to check the time on his phone, "you hungry? i can order us something,"
you hummed, hugging a pillow against your chest, laying on your tummy, "'m down for whatever."
"pizza?" he asked and when you twisted your face he hummed, "mm, thai? italian?”
“you like sushi?” you asked and the face you received as an answer, let’s just say he was more than offended. you laughed as he looked at you like you had three heads, “i’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?”
“it’s an ‘absolutely fucking not’,” he laughed with you, “you like eating raw fish? what’s wrong with you?”
“have you ever even tried it?” you asked, a small amusing smile on your face.
“i know i don’t like fish, so no need to try it.”
“what about the ones with crab? or shrimp?”
“yeah, but they’re near a fish!”
“oh my god,” you laughed, “okay, fine, sushi is off the table.”
the two of you went back and forth trying to decide what to order before finally settling on something as he placed the order on his phone.
"wait! let me grab my card," you said, leaning over the mattress with your torso hanging off as you fished around for your wallet inside your bag.
"no, i've got it," he replied.
"you paid for our breakfast last time!" you huffed, sitting back up with your card in hand, but he wouldn't take it no matter how many times you tried to shove it in his hand, "just take my card."
you watched as he tapped on his phone with a smirk, clearly not listening to you. when you tried to take the phone away from him, he just kept lifting it higher out of your reach, which made you pout and fold your arms.
accepting defeat was something you weren't necessarily fond of.
you hadn't noticed the fact that your legs had managed to straddle his hips, or the fact that his free hand was holding onto your hip, fingers pressing into the slightly exposed skin due to your t-shirt riding up in effort to get the phone from him.
he smiled and placed the phone down on the mattress, "should be here soon,"
"at least let me venmo you," you sighed and he shook his head.
"don't want your money."
"lando,"
"okay, fine, how about you get my coffee the next time we study. how's that?"
you nodded, satisfied with the fact that he let you pay for something, even if it was just for his double shot of espresso over ice.
you bit down on your bottom lip, now fully aware how awkward the position you were in was. he was trying not to think about it, too. sure, maybe he was looking way too hard for way too long at the features on your face, but he couldn't help it. you were the most beautiful thing on earth to him.
you were like a shot of espresso or being bathed in sunlight. he hadn't really believed in love at first sight until he met you.
"you have an eyelash," he gestured to your cheek. you reached up to wipe it away, but he chuckled softly and shook his head.
"missed it," he said, gently reaching up to your cheek, "'ve got it,"
your breathing slowed as he swiped his thumb against your cheek gently, holding out his thumb to you instead of just shaking off the eyelash like normal. you sent him a confused look.
"make a wish,"
you hummed, thinking of something to wish for. all that you could think of was him. the same guy who unexpectedly plagued your mind and took over your dreams.
now he was taking over your wishes.
you gently blew on the eyelash, laughing softly after. you had realized his hand never fell back to his side, instead it reached out to your cheek cautiously.
you leaned into his touch, smiling down at him which got you one of those smiles that made your heart clench in return. no matter how many times he had smiled at you, each time it made you giddy inside.
"y/n," his voice was low, scared to speak up, almost like it would startle you if he spoke above a whisper.
god, you loved the way he said your name.
"yeah?"
"please tell me you feel this too," he said, his eyes searching yours for any sign to be a silent tell that you've been wanting this as long as he has, as much as him, "whatever this is between us."
you nodded, "i do,"
a soft breath of relief came from his nose, but the tension was still thick enough to cut through with a knife, "can i kiss you?"
you nodded again, whispering back to him, "please."
he didn't waste a single second after, his lips meeting yours. he poured every single ounce of pining and longing as he could into the kiss and you reciprocated it right back.
you hummed when he pulled you closer against his body, leaving no room for air between the two of you, your hands wrapping around his neck and playing with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. the same ones you had imagined running your fingers through.
you only pulled away due to the lack of air in your lungs, the both of you smiling against each other's lips and your noses bumping.
"'ve been wanting to do that for so long." he mumbled and you giggled, smiling so hard you were sure your cheeks were going to hurt by the end of the night.
you brushed over his now wild curls, flattening them out with your fingers. you bit down on your lower lip, stopping yourself from laughing at the fact the curls only got wilder, "i might've just made it worse,"
he shrugged, shaking his head with not a single care in the world, his lips coming back to brush against yours, "don't care,"
you laughed into his lips, kissing him once more. and again. and maybe again.
and so many times you lost count.
that was, until the door to the apartment closing made the two of you seperate. the slam of the door was followed by a pair of familiar voices.
"oscar?" you asked, you and lando listening to the conversation in the other room.
he nodded, "yeah, but i can barely hear the other person."
then there was a laugh, a laugh you could've recognized anywhere. the high-pitched noise was engraved in your brain and it only belonged to one person.
you hit his shoulder and he raised an eyebrow, "what? he's just invited a girl over?"
"not just a girl," you said, "we called it! at the diner the other day!"
he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed, clearly not following what you were saying.
until, it all clicked.
"oh, no way!" he said and you nodded.
"it's lily!"
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#fluff#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#mclaren f1#oscar piastri#op81#mclaren#op81 mcl#op81 fic#ln4 mcl#ln4 fic#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x you#f1#ln4 x reader series#ln4 x reader fluff#ln4 college au#college au#uni au#college!lando#uni!lando#uni!oscar
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can u do like virginity loss with minsu? like both reader and him r virgins.. they’re both awkward and shy!! i think it’d be soo cute ^_^
First time together
warning: smut, virginity loss, virgin!min su x virgin!fem!reader, unprotected sex
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Min su and you never had never done anything too intimate, the most is probably making out which yall were doing right now
You were on top of him cupping his cheeks making out with him passionately, his hands were on your waist wrapping around them and softly rubbing on your back, both of y’all lip moving together
This continued for awhile until Min-su pulled back for a breath looking at you admiring you a bit, he takes in your features as he flushed up
“Y/n..i-..i think i’m ready” he spoke quietly, you blinked at him in confusion ��Ready? ready for what?” You asked him
He sits up a bit his hands going back to his side as your hands also fell down to your side awkwardly sitting on his lap, “I..i think i’m ready to have..um..sex with you” he said nervously, he was a bit embarrassed that he had to fully say the whole thing
Your eyes widen slightly and chuckled nervously just to make it not seem awkward “Min-su..im a virgin..” you spoke to him, he stares at you for a moment before speaking up “..me too, but if your not ready that’s totally okay-!” he quickly spoke not wanting to make you uncomfortable
“No-no! i want too, im ready too” you told him as he looks at you “Are you sure..you don’t have too i don’t want to pressure you-.” he begin speaking but you quickly cut him off with your lips
You kissed him for a moment and pulled back smiling at him, “Im ready i promise” you reassured him as he nodded
You guys stared at eachother for a bit not knowing what to do as you finally spoke up “Um- so..can i just?” you said placing your hands on his shirt to take it off as he quickly nodded
You took off his shirt and placed it on the floor, “Can i..do the same?” he asked you as well as you nodded, He took yours off as well admiring your chest for a moment, you bra covering your boobs as he gulped a bit, he stared for a minute “You can…take my bra off too” you told him as he looked at you and smiled a bit
His hands went to back of your bra having a bit of trouble but finally unclipped it, he slipped it off and put it on the floor admiring your tits for a moment, you felt a bit embarrassed but didn’t cover them
“You’re beautiful.” he spoke to you as you smiled at him, you lifted your self off and begin taking off your pants, he quickly followed your movements taking his off as well, his bulge in his boxers visible
You watched over and slipped off your panties as well, he was following your every movement like a puppet slowly taking off his boxers as well, his cock semi hard as he sat up resting on the headboard a bit
You than hovered over him and your hands went to his cock slightly stroking him, he begin breathing hard as he panted a bit, once he was fully hard you lined his tip against your entrance
“Are you..okay? with me doing this?” you asked him making sure, he quickly nodded as you gave him a reassuring smile
You slowly sinked down shutting your eyes, you heard him groan softly as you paused when you felt his tip enter feeling a small sting of pain, “Are you okay? are you hurt? we can stop..” he told you quickly, “no no it’s fine” you told him
Once the pain went away you begin going more down, you finally hit the bottom of his cock feeling his thighs a bit as you sat there for a moment adjusting his size for a moment
He was patient as you slowly placed his hands on your waist, once you adjusted your hips slowly moved forward and backwards causing him to whine softly
You looked at him as his eyes were fluttering shut, you continue as you moaned out softly, you went nice and slow making sure you were careful with him and yourself and also wanting to savor this moment
You slowly picked up your pace as he gasped out noticing the way you went slightly fast, his whines turned into whimpers as your moans we’re soft and low
He moved his hands up and down your waist and even to your back pulling you to him, he was basically hugging you as he placed his chin on your shoulder, you continued riding him placing your hands on his shoulder
You went faster just a bit as he moaned out, “F-faster please..” he whimpered out, you enjoyed hearing his small little moans and whimpers as you went faster
Your hips moving a lot more as you hanged onto him, all you could really hear was his moans going into your ear and you loved it
He held onto your back as he opened his eyes slightly, he continued moaning out feeling your walls tighten on him making him bite his lip a bit, he felt so good at this moment and wanted more, but at the same time he was feeling sensitive
He felt his own cock twitch inside you, your warm walls continued on as well as your movements, you also felt his cock twitch knowing he was bit close, you begin speeding up even faster moaning out a bit louder as well, you immediately felt a knot in your tummy
“Agh~..mmffggg~, i’m gonna cum..” he whispered to you, he finally looked at you as you looked back at him, “Me too..i’m close” you told him as well
you continued as he shut his eyes for a moment, he gripped onto your hips as he placed his forehead against yours, panting and moaning out
“Oh- im cumming!” he told you as you were on the edge as well, he gripped onto your cheeks kissing you as you kissed him back as well, he whimpers into the kiss and eventually he felt his cock squirt out ropes of cum into you, with that feeling you immediately came after that
He continued kissing you but slowing down as you stopped your movements
He pulled back panting, “I’m sorry..i didn’t mean to cum in you..” he said in a bit of guilt, “No it’s okay i’m on the pill..” you reassured, he nodded a bit glad and relief, he leaned his forehead against yours again and kept panting sort
He’s definitely gonna do this more with you.
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#squid game smut#squid game fic#squid game fanfic#squid game imagine#first time#park min su x reader#min su smut#min su squid game#min su x reader#park min su#player 125 smut#player 125 x reader#player 125#125
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Thangyu NSFW Alphabet
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Warnings: poly!thangyu x fem!reader, they're probably so ooc here I'm so sorry, not proofread I'm posting this at 4 am, mentions of drugs & alcohol, implied dubcon/under-negotiated kink in one part, somnophilia, just general smut stuff A/N: FINALLY POSTING AFTER 20 YEARS LMAO. If this sucks don't @ me the last time I wrote was idek how long ago now
nsfw under the cut
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
☆ If we’re being real here aftercare with them heavily depends on how they’re feeling…. But either way it’s pretty minimal, especially considering one of them practically falls asleep immediately (Thanos). Nam-gyu will make sure you’re all cleaned up and run you a bath if he feels like dealing with the mess right after.
Thanos on the other hand takes it upon himself to cuddle up to you, long limbs entangled with yours as he presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek or forehead and murmurs sweet nothings you can’t make out half the time.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
☆ Both of them are tits men, it doesn’t matter if they’re big or small, they don’t give a shit. Even in a non-sexual manner, Thanos just likes to keep his hands under your shirt since he tends to run cold and it’s one of many excuses to be close to you.
Nam-gyu isn’t as vocal about it but he doesn’t try to hide it. Whether it’s with an arm slung around your shoulder and his palm brushing your breasts, or full on touching you if he thinks another guy’s getting too close for comfort, you’ve gotten used to the constant feeling of hands on you.
On that note, Thanos’ favorite body part is his hands. He doesn’t necessarily get full on manicures, but he does take good care of them. He adores how big they are compared to yours and even Nam-gyu’s. The mere sight of his thick fingers wrapped around your smaller wrists never fails to make him dizzy.
If Nam-gyu had to choose, he’d say his hair. He likes when you tug at it while he eats you out because then he knows he’s doing something right. He gets greedy with it, guiding you to run your fingers through his hair just for the hell of it sometimes, or (not so) begrudgingly saying yes when you ask to braid it or put it in a ponytail.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
☆ Both of these freaks like to cum inside you and watch it spill out of you but especially Nam-gyu. There’s something about marking his territory that gets the raven-haired man off, because only he and Thanos get to fill you up to their heart's content.
If there’s time for a quickie he’ll go about his day with a smug look on his face knowing you’re walking around dripping his and Thanos’ seed into your underwear. That if anyone were to flirt with you you’d be reminded that no one satisfies you like they do.
Thanos likes how it glistens on you after you blow him and let him cum on your face, using his thumb to further smear it on your skin until you’re whining in protest. It’s his way of staking his claim, in a way.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
☆ Thanos likes to make you come at least twice in your panties that way he has something to jerk himself off with when he knows you won’t be around for a while. He’ll inhale the scent of you with a tight fist around his cock, thinking about how cute you looked with his fingers pressing down on your puffy clit.
As much of a dominant streak as Nam-gyu has it’s almost laughably easy to flip the roles on him. Almost. You have to catch him when he has his guard down, which is usually right after you have sex or when he’s too high to realize what you’re trying to do.
He doesn’t let it happen very often, and he won’t admit how much he likes it, but having you ride and praise/degrade him while Thanos watches is a guilty pleasure of his.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
☆ We all know both of them were up to some freaky shit in club pentagon like c’mon… And they can both be assholes but they’re hot and they know it, they 100% know how to please a girl.
They aren’t the most experienced in serious relationships and romantic stuff, but they’ve had random hook-ups and one night stands before. You’re in good hands, literally and metaphorically.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
☆ If they’re in the mood to use you like a ragdoll, they’ll put you in doggy style with your hands tied behind your back so one of them can fuck you into the mattress while the other uses your throat.
Otherwise their favorite is missionary. Not only can they watch every expression you pull while you’re blissed out and the way they sink into your warm heat with every thrust, but it’s easier to manhandle you like that, pushing your thighs up to your chest or pulling you into a needy kiss.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
☆ They’re more talkative and energetic when they’re high but I can’t see either of them cracking that many jokes during it in general. There might be a few here and there with both of them chuckling to each other, but they’re mostly serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
☆ I think it’d be absolutely hilarious if Thanos dyed his pubes purple but for the sake of discussion the carpet technically matches the drapes, it’s all natural color down there baby. He trims but still has a nice little happy trail that starts at his navel and leads down to his dick (he’s sensitive there, too. Do with that information what you will.)
Nam-gyu is more well groomed but he doesn’t care to fully shave, it’s less of a hassle that way.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
☆ They fuck you like they hate you but their actions give away how much they truly love you. Nam-gyu will tuck strands of hair behind your ear to keep it out of your face and trace comforting circles against your ankles while he has you bent over.
A more sober, softer Thanos makes sure you’re okay when they’re being particularly rough. Either way, neither of them like being too far away from you for too long anyways, and you know they mean it when they say ‘I love you’ because they aren’t doing it just to say it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
☆ 90% of the time they don’t see the point because they have you, so what’s the point when they have a girlfriend that’s just as willing? On the rare occasion you’re not an option and they can’t get to each other they’ll scroll through the pictures and videos they’ve got of you and make it work.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
☆ This goes back to the hand thing but Thanos likes choking. He never puts too much pressure on you, his grip loose enough that you can usually push him off if you want or need to, but the power trip makes him impossibly harder.
The veins in his hands bulge where they’re wrapped around your neck, and the slight sting of pain from your nails leaving moon-shaped indents on his forearms? He’s a goner.
Nam-gyu has a huge thing for somnophilia. It probably happens one night when he can’t sleep; he’s too lazy to get himself off but turned on enough that he can’t get back to sleep.
Thanos is a deep sleeper, and he’s about to try to wake you up when he sees how peaceful you look: the soft rise and fall of your chest, lashes fluttering and the strap of your shirt falling off one of your shoulders.
You groggily wake up to him pressed up behind your back, your panties pulled to the side as he uses your slick to slide his cock between your thighs.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
☆ Literally anywhere inside of your shared apartment but they’ll never do it in any public setting hands down. Both of them are possessive and jealous, they wouldn’t even risk someone else being able to see you at your most vulnerable. Screw the neighbors that have to listen to you scream every night.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
☆ Just you, really. You dressing up pretty in lingerie does wonders too, but they aren’t picky when it comes to you and they definitely don’t need anything special. Pray that YOU can keep up with THEIR libido, actually.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
☆ Seriously hurting you is a no-no. They’re up to trying anything once if you or either of them wanna try something new to spice it up in the bedroom, but there’s a certain line they won’t cross.
If they choke or slap you in any way it’s because you asked for it, and they’ll make up some sort of safe word or action like tapping them three times if you need them to stop/slow down.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
☆ Service doms? Nah, they eat you out for their pleasure. They don’t care if you’re shaking and pushing them away from you because you’ve lost count of how much you’ve come, these two get drunk on the taste of your pussy.
They both have long fingers that curl just right to hit your sweet spot dead on, and Thanos’ are thicker, too. That paired with their rings and they’ll have you crying for them. Don’t get them wrong, they won’t argue if you get on your knees and pull on the waistband of their pants instead.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
☆ They do both! They can fuck you so hard and fast you’re seeing stars afterwards or they can take their time with you, pouring all their desperation and want into making love to you. They’ll never call it that, though, but you know they’re secretly saps.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
☆ They’re always down. There will genuinely not be a time you ask them, even if you have to be somewhere within the next 5 minutes, that they say no. They might not happen often but if a quick session can sate all of you for long enough then running a little late is more than worth it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
☆ Back to them being disgustingly possessive they aren’t big risk takers in the sense of doing it anywhere semi-public or straight up public, but they’ll always experiment. In their mind, if they already know your body like the back of their own hands, why not play around with things that’ll enhance the experience?
They start out simple with handcuffs, and if you’re up for it they might introduce toys too. They don’t mind stuff like anal either.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
☆ They could go all night if they wanted to, but Thanos doesn’t last very long with the amount of stimulation unless he’s purposefully trying to edge you or himself. Nam-gyu has a bit more stamina being younger than him, so if Thanos gets tired he’ll keep himself busy pleasuring you while Nam-gyu uses your cunt.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
☆ Not many, they have handcuffs and rope that they’ll use to restrain you sometimes. They have a paddle that they’ll break out to use on you if they’re feeling mean, but not crazy often.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
☆ Nam-gyu is the fucking KING of teasing you oh my god. He’ll finger you and ignore your clit for hours, stopping when you clench around him because he knows you’re close.
He’ll hold your hips down so you can’t grind against him while you’re sitting on his lap and making out, signaling Thanos to run his hands up and down your sides and pressing feather-light kisses to the nape of your neck but nothing more.
Thanos likes to tease you from time to time, but usually it’s more torture for him to hold back from sliding into you than it is for you to feel him slipping the tip just past your tight walls before pulling back out.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
☆ In general neither of them are exactly loud, but they’re not quiet either. They’ll grunt and pant in your ear, deep, guttural moans that send shivers up your spine.
If you’re topping Nam-gyu (or Thanos) he’s more loud, but he’ll try to bite down on his tongue or bottom lip to contain his whines and whimpers. You’ll have to force a thumb between his teeth if you wanna hear him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
☆ They’ll occasionally smoke weed or drink before they fuck you because it’s a different kind of high from their usual drugs, and they won’t force you to do it but if you do wanna try they like to shotgun the smoke directly into your mouth and then kiss you.
It usually starts with Nam-gyu teasing you about your apprehension, then being surprised when you climb onto his lap and ask for a hit. He’ll give Thanos that look, then pull you in by your chin and tell you to open.
The simple but direct command has you clenching your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by either man.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
☆ Thanos is about average but he’s thick and veiny (and he’d be uncircumcised hear me out). His dick also curves slightly to the right. That’s ALL I’m saying about him otherwise I won’t shut up. Second more in-depth post later maybe.
Nam-gyu’s isn’t as thick but he’s longer than Thanos, reaching into the deepest parts of you and stretching you out with ease.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
☆ Let’s just say high. They’re both already always horny separately, but together you’ll be lucky to get any sleep.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
☆ Light sleeper Nam-gyu 🤝 Deep sleeper Thanos. Very much self explanatory but Thanos will be out like a light within minutes, meanwhile Nam-gyu likes to wait until you’re both asleep to really get comfortable anyway <3
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#🌙 ── 5iyoworks#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game season 2#squid game 2#thangyu#thagyu#thangyu x reader#nam gyu#nam gyu x reader#thanos#thanos x reader#divider credit: cafekitsune
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Many thoughts
“Better now that I’m taking you back to our place,” he said. There was that spring in his step again, like he was allowed to be happy since he knew you were really okay after walking home alone.
His happiness very much depends on her, and little too much if you ask me 🥴
When someone like Bucky had the kind of money he did, you imagined he’d drop just about anything to spend time with you and it wouldn’t make a dent in his pocketbook. Even if he lost everything tomorrow, it would be the same. Somehow you’d come first.
For sure
“Steve insisted on talking to you about that double date.” Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and refused to let his friend take the bags from his hands. He really didn’t want anyone else carrying your things or opening doors for you. “He’s stubborn, but you get used to it after a while.” “I’m stubborn?” Steve chuckled. “Pot meet kettle.”
Lol for real
“Well, we can talk about how excited Bucky is that you’re spending the night,” Steve teased. “I think she knows,” Bucky smirked, your cheeks hot. Did the whole gang feed into his delusion of what would happen if you stayed over?
I'm sure they do 🫠
“She’s fine, she’s fine,” Bucky assured you, cupping your cheeks. “She’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.” “For now, she is,” Steve muttered under his breath.
Geez 🥴
“We still don’t know the angle.” Bucky’s jaw clenched. “He could be doing it to show that can get to people close to you.” “Like you with Addison and Brady?” you asked. Nick was Brady’s boss now, and it was clear that it wasn’t a coincidence.
Nice call out lol
“How about I find a way to relax and still go out tomorrow?” you suggested. “You’re really determined to go. And here I thought Steve and I were the stubborn ones,” he smirked, guiding you into the penthouse. “Why don’t you take a seat in the living room and I’ll put your stuff in the bedroom?”
She sure is and she should stay like that!
“Because you like being near me,” he said, your eyes rounding. “You slept beside me last night and you want to experience that again. Either that or being near me makes you feel safer than you want to admit.” You scoffed. “No, that’s…” You shook your head. “I mean, no. That’s just-” He gently smiled. “It's okay to admit. It'll be our secret.”
Oop👀
You tried not to choke up. It felt romantic, but you appreciated how thoughtful it was. “I…” You had to clear your throat. “I brought pajamas.” “I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled. “They’re your size and I think you’ll like them.”
That is actually very thoughtful
Bucky’s eyebrows pinched. “Of course I won’t. This is your relaxing time,” he promised, kissing your forehead again as you breathed easier. “And like I said, I have a few things to do.” You felt a little sheepish at his expression. “I’m sorry. I just…” “Nothing to apologize for. I don't blame you for double checking.” He patted your backside with a gentle hand. “Just enjoy your time.”
I mean is brought this distrust on himself 🤷🏻♀️
“Bucky, you didn’t have to-” “I don't have to do anything, but I wanted to. Do you like it?”
That's the spirit 🤭
“This is all thoughtful, but aren't I supposed to be making it up to you?” He frowned a little at your expression. “You being here is more than enough.” His fingers barely grazed your cheek. “Are you okay?”
👀
You avoided his gaze when you opened your eyes. “That’s all you want?” you asked. He hadn’t dragged you to bed once you arrived, but he also didn’t say that he didn’t want something. He ran a thumb over your bottom lip. “Well, I won’t lie to you. I want you, but I'm not pushing you. This is the first time you came to me willingly, and I want to cherish it.” You shivered at his touch. “Yeah, I did come here willingly,” you said. Sort of.
True...
“Stay home with me tomorrow,” he whispered, sitting up with you in his lap still. “We don’t have to go anywhere. We can spend the whole day together.” “No,” you said firmly. You were going out with your friends and that was final. “Send Ray or someone to watch over me. I’ll be back before you know it.”
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You tensed and tried to push yourself up, but he grabbed you and situated you over one of his massive thighs. He had a firm hold on you and it made your heart pound. “I don't want you to be scared. I'll take such good care of you.” “I just… I’m not…” If he took you to bed, there’d be no turning back, and you had to maintain some control. “You’re not ready for that,” he stated, his eyes still dark. Shaking your head, it worried you how he’d take it. But he suddenly started moving you over his thigh, hard and slow. “Okay, Kotyonok. I won't put my tongue or fingers in you just yet, but I still want to make you feel good.”
I totally get that she wants to have at least a little bit control..
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, rocking you over his thigh again and sitting up, desperately pressing his lips to your neck. “You'll never have to beg for anything you want. Just ask or tell me and it's yours.”
😮💨😮💨😮💨
And breathing hard, you surprised both of you by leaning in and kissing him. He let out a deep moan, kissing you back with everything he had as he held you closer. You were still shaking from your orgasm, and you could blame that for the reason why you kissed him. And he behaved, not letting his hands wander as his tongue moved with yours.
Ohh 👀
His smile confused you. “But… you didn’t…” you trailed off. He was hard in his pants, and you hadn’t gotten him off. You selfishly got yourself off on his thigh with his encouragement. “That doesn't matter,” he assured you, kissing the tip of your nose. “You trusted me enough to make you feel good.”
Ngl that's kinda hot 🤭
He tucked your head under his chin and wrapped one of the blankets around you. “I know you're still a bit scared and you don’t want to trust me, and that’s okay. It’s scary to let someone like me in after everything.”
That's actually really sweet 🥹
He rubbed your back and you noticed how relaxed he was. He was content to just hold you. Like an actual couple. Exactly what he wanted. And if he noticed a tear streaming down your cheek when you eventually fell asleep in his arms, he thoughtfully kept that to himself.
Uff what an ending 🥴
Hold You Tight: Part 17
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 16 | Series Masterlist | Part 18
Chapter Word Count: Over 5.9k
Chapter Summary: You take a step further in your relationship with Bucky.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, dubcon elements, dirty talk, thigh riding, tension, kissing, reference to stalking, inner turmoil, manipulation, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You tried to occupy yourself as you waited for Bucky to pick you up. You made sure you had your outfit for tomorrow and sent Addison a text to confirm when and where you were meeting. God, what if Bucky insisted on dropping you off? He likely would. There was no way he’d let you head over on your own, unless Ray or someone dropped you off.
“What am I doing?” you muttered.
Staring at yourself in the mirror, you frowned. You had changed out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable. He would think you looked sexy no matter what you wore, even if you didn’t try. What was he going to expect or demand from you? There was no way you’d go through the entire evening in his home without him touching you or something.
You weren’t sure if the anticipation was worse or knowing he’d probably make your body enjoy whatever he’d do to you, and use that as a weapon against you.
The knock on your door made you jump. Had two hours passed already? You checked the peephole and saw Bucky on the other side, shifting from one foot to the other. At least he didn’t break his way inside like he could’ve easily done.
“Hi.” You slowly opened the door to let him in. “I-”
Bucky had you against the wall before you could finish, his lips insistently pressing against yours. The kiss only lasted seconds, but it felt like hours when he pulled away. “Don’t walk home alone again,” he whispered with a brief flash of fear in his eyes.
You nodded after a moment. The conversation from earlier was still on his mind, clearly. “I won’t.”
“You look beautiful by the way.” Taking a breath, he ran both hands through his hair and straightened up. He looked like his normal self again, and you knew it. No matter what he’d find you attractive. “Is this everything?” he asked, picking up the overnight bag and garment bag that you had left by the door.
“Yeah, it should be,” you said, making sure you had your phone and purse, too.
“Was the rest of your day okay?” he asked, watching carefully as you locked the door.
“It was fine,” you replied. You were so busy thinking about Bucky that you hadn’t thought much about Clark. “Was yours?”
“Better now that I’m taking you back to our place,” he said. There was that spring in his step again, like he was allowed to be happy since he knew you were really okay after walking home alone.
“You don’t have to go to the club tonight?” you asked.
“Only if there’s an emergency. There’s no special event tonight, no reason to make an appearance, and my staff knows how to take care of the place,” he assured you. “Time with you is much more important than that.”
When someone like Bucky had the kind of money he did, you imagined he’d drop just about anything to spend time with you and it wouldn’t make a dent in his pocketbook. Even if he lost everything tomorrow, it would be the same. Somehow you’d come first.
Once you were outside, you were surprised to find Steve standing by Bucky’s car instead of Ray. “Hi,” the blonde smiled with a row of perfect teeth.
“Hi,” you replied, stepping a bit closer to Bucky. Steve was his best friend, but you still didn’t know him well. What you did know was that he had his own woman he was stalking.
“Steve insisted on talking to you about that double date.” Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and refused to let his friend take the bags from his hands. He really didn’t want anyone else carrying your things or opening doors for you. “He’s stubborn, but you get used to it after a while.”
“I’m stubborn?” Steve chuckled. “Pot meet kettle.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Bucky smiled, helping you into the car.
The interaction between the two of them was so natural and easy. You imagined that in another life they were decent men who fought for others instead of trapping them. “So, what exactly did you want to talk about?” you asked once you took off.
“Well, we can talk about how excited Bucky is that you’re spending the night,” Steve teased.
“I think she knows,” Bucky smirked, your cheeks hot. Did the whole gang feed into his delusion of what would happen if you stayed over?
“Did you want to talk about the double date?” you asked, hoping the topic switch would help.
“Well, my girl likes art and Bucky mentioned how you sometimes like to relax with a glass of wine,” Steve began, smiling at you in the mirror. “So, I was thinking, we could do one of those wine and painting classes. Just the four of us.”
“But if you didn’t want to do a painting, they do something similar with pottery where everyone can pick their own piece to paint,” Bucky said, slipping an arm over your shoulders.
“Dinner before the painting, too. It would be really nice for you two to talk,” Steve continued, tapping a finger on the steering wheel. “She’s a sweet girl with a big heart, but she doesn’t have many friends nearby like you do.”
“I mean, I’m fine with painting a canvas or pottery. I think we should let her choose since art is one of her passions.” Your heart went out to the girl. Was that why Steve set his sights on her? Did he feel like he was rescuing her in some sense? “And does she have a preference on wine? White or red? Sweet or dry? Maybe I can pick a bottle for her while I’m at the vineyard tomorrow.”
Steve glanced at you again in the mirror, impressed. “That’s very considerate of you,” he said, sharing a quick look with Bucky, too. “And she likes sparkling sweet wine.”
“I have a very considerate girl,” Bucky boasted, kissing your temple. “You really are thoughtful.”
“I try to be,” you whispered, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. “I’m sure Bucky will give me the details once it’s set up,” you said, not finding it in you to argue since you were outnumbered.
“He will,” Steve smiled, clearing his throat. “And now that we have that out of the way…”
“Really, punk?” Bucky asked, tightening his hand on our shoulder.
You sat up a little. All the warmth had left his voice, and he tensed up beside you. “What’s going on?”
“Tell her, Buck,” Steve urged.
You held your breath. Was this about earlier in the day when Ray spoke with Bucky? “Yes, please, tell me.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched. “Mrs. Crandle wasn’t at work today, was she?” he asked as if he already knew the answer.
“No, she…” Your eyes widened. Kate said she called out for some business reason. “Oh, my god. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, she’s fine,” Bucky assured you, cupping your cheeks. “She’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“For now, she is,” Steve muttered under his breath.
“Just shut up and drive,” Bucky ordered when you gasped. “The reason she was suddenly out of work today was because of Zemo.”
Your heart sank. What the hell would Zemo want with Mrs. Crandle? “What do you mean?”
“From what we’ve gathered, he met up with her to tell her that she won an all expenses paid trip to a flower expo. She was shocked since she didn’t remember even entering the contest, but he told her someone anonymously registered her,” he explained. “He asked questions about some of her employees in case she wanted to bring anyone from her shop along and your name came up.”
“But why?” you asked. Why would Zemo make a contest just to talk to your boss?
“We still don’t know the angle.” Bucky’s jaw clenched. “He could be doing it to show that can get to people close to you.”
“Like you with Addison and Brady?” you asked. Nick was Brady’s boss now, and it was clear that it wasn’t a coincidence.
“Bucky doesn’t have his hand in the shop out of respect for you, and Zemo knows that,” Steve chimed in before Bucky could argue. “So it’s possible that he may be trying to butter Mrs. Crandle up before he makes an offer, whether it’s to offer some kind of protection or to buy out her shop completely.”
The thought of Zemo owning the shop where you worked or having his hand in it made your stomach turn. “She loves her shop, and she’s honest when it comes to business. She wouldn’t want someone stepping in or buying it,” you said, your breathing a bit heavier. “Is she in danger? Is something going to happen to her because of me?”
If something happened to Mrs. Crandle, you’d never forgive yourself.
“It isn’t because of you, Kotyonok. It’s his actions,” Bucky answered. Just like Bucky’s actions put you in the line of fire. “I hesitated telling you because we still need answers, but she’s safe. We also have someone keeping an eye on her, just to exercise caution.”
You exhaled. If Zemo was trying to scare you, it was working. “Please, don’t keep me in the dark,” you said. Even if it scared you, you had to know. “And Mrs. Crandle is one of the most harmless people in the city and the shop is all she has. If he-”
“We won’t let anything happen to her,” Bucky promised. It was a lot to promise. “And I’m sorry I didn’t say something this morning. I just wanted you to have a normal day.”
You understood part of Bucky’s reasoning. Telling you even when she wasn't in immediate danger would've thrown your whole day off. But what was a normal day now? “We deal with ups and downs every day. So just tell me next time something’s going on, especially if it involves someone important to me.” Ignorance isn't bliss in the world Bucky lived in.
He regarded you with a soft smile. “I will.”
You stayed quiet for the remainder of the ride while Bucky and Steve discussed dinner options for the double date night. It would’ve been endearing with how excited they were, had it not been for the fact that you and Steve’s girl didn’t exactly have a choice. What was going to happen at Thor’s party?
And what about your loved ones? Were they safe? You thought being by Bucky’s side would keep them safe from his wrath, but what if Zemo went after them? You had to trust that Bucky and his men wouldn't allow that to happen.
“You two have fun tonight,” Steve winked. “Try not to get too handsy, jerk.”
“What?” you asked, your throat dry once you realized you were at Bucky’s place. God, you were really there. There was no backing out.
“Just get in your car and go, punk,” Bucky chuckled, helping you out and grabbing your things. “He really is excited for you and his girl to become friends.”
“I’ll bet,” you said, giving Steve a small wave for his benefit.
You counted the number of steps from the car to the elevator. This was similar to when he brought you here the first time because you didn’t know what to expect. You weren’t sure if it was better or worse though knowing what you knew now.
“Where’s Ray?” you asked.
“He’s busy,” Bucky answered cryptically, sweeping his gaze over you. “You seem nervous. If you’d rather skip your day out tomorrow, I can help you find a few ways to relax.”
“How about I find a way to relax and still go out tomorrow?” you suggested.
“You’re really determined to go. And here I thought Steve and I were the stubborn ones,” he smirked, guiding you into the penthouse. “Why don’t you take a seat in the living room and I’ll put your stuff in the bedroom?”
“Okay,” you breathed, hoping he didn’t notice you trembling as you walked through the place. It felt warmer than the last time you were there, more like the temperature that you kept at your place. And as dangerous as Bucky was, you somehow felt safe being there. Someone like Zemo wasn’t going to get in there. Clark wouldn’t either.
Rubbing your arms, you took a seat on the sofa. It was a beautiful room, but nothing like your living room. It wasn't just the difference in size, but you noticed once again that there were no nicknacks or homey touches. Maybe you could add a pop or color or even some flowers to… Oh, God. You were really thinking of how you’d decorate the place.
“You still look nervous,” Bucky said once he joined you, giving you absolutely no space as he took a seat. “You don’t have to be.”
“I’m not nervous,” you lied, biting your lip. “Okay, I am a little.”
He hummed. “Were you expecting me to drag you to bed?”
You nodded slowly. He behaved himself in the car with Steve there, but now the two of you were alone and you had no idea where Ray was. There was nothing to stop him from taking what he thought belonged to him.
“You thought sex would make it up to me because you walked home alone?”
“No,” you said immediately. You shouldn’t have to give him sex to say you’re sorry, especially when he had a much longer list of things he needed to apologize for. “I just thought this was a natural step in a relationship, you know? Spending the night together.”
A natural step would’ve been him staying at your place, too, but he was certain you would live at his place. And having him in your space, it didn’t feel the same. It was something you wanted to keep sacred.
“It is a natural step, but I don’t think you offered to stay here to make it up to me.”
His statement surprised you. That was part of the reason. If you made it up to him, he wouldn’t object to you going out with your friends. You weren’t going to bring up Clark or that the thought of being alone at your place made you nervous. “Then why else do you think I’m here?” you asked.
“Because you like being near me,” he said, your eyes rounding. “You slept beside me last night and you want to experience that again. Either that or being near me makes you feel safer than you want to admit.”
You scoffed. “No, that’s…” You shook your head. “I mean, no. That’s just-”
He gently smiled. “It's okay to admit. It'll be our secret.”
You shook your head again. Admitting that being in his arms wasn’t terrible and that his place did feel safer than yours at the moment would give him another win. “I'm not admitting anything.”
The smile on his face widened. “Is it because I'm right and you don't want me to be right?”
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” you said, standing and crossing your arms. “I should just go.”
“No, no, no. I’ll stop teasing. Please stay,” he nearly begged, getting to his feet, too. “How about I run you a bath and you can relax?”
“...A bath?” you asked. It wasn’t fair. He knew how much you loved taking baths.
He nodded. “A warm bath and a glass of wine, too.”
You uncrossed your arms, avoiding his hopeful gaze. It was a bit of a rough day, on top of a rough week. You deserved to relax. “Okay, that actually sounds really nice.”
He smiled and offered his hand. “I have bath bombs or salts if you want those, too. Anything to help you relax.”
“You have bath bombs?” you asked, your curiosity peaked. “What kind?”
“I have honeysuckle, lavender, vanilla,” he smiled softly. Each scent sounded like something that would help make the stress leave your body. “Let me show you.”
You let him lead the way you were pretty sure most of your apartment could fit inside the luxurious bathroom. The inviting tub almost made you burst into happy tears. It was nothing like your builder's grade tub. This was an honest to goodness clawfoot tub of your dreams.
“You like it?” Bucky smiled.
Blinking, you remembered Bucky saying how he wanted to fuck you in his tub. Would it be tonight? “I love it,” you admitted.
His smile stretched from ear to ear. “I’ll grab a tray and I can bring you a book if you want. Or you can just relax and enjoy your wine.”
“Well.” You thought it over. “I wouldn’t mind a book.”
Bucky nodded and brought the bath bombs out for you to choose from before he ushered you into the bedroom. “Why don't you stay here and pick one out while I'll get everything else you need?”
“Okay,” you said, holding your breath as you stared at the king sized bed. You avoided looking at it when he led you into the bathroom, but now you couldn’t help yourself. That was the bed he expected you to sleep with him in… the bed he’d fuck you and make love to you in. The satin sheets were a dark promise that he’d get everything he wanted and more.
Shaking your head, you carefully picked up each bath bomb and gave them a sniff. Each one smelled better than the last, and your eyes nearly rolled back at the one you selected. You wondered if he had these before you met or if he bought them specifically for you to have available.
Bucky came back after a minute and took your hand, guiding you back into the bathroom. “I’ve got everything all set.” The tub was steaming, candles were lit, and there was a generous glass of wine waiting on the tray with a book. “There's a robe on the back of the door, and I'll make sure fresh pajamas are ready for when you get out.”
You tried not to choke up. It felt romantic, but you appreciated how thoughtful it was. “I…” You had to clear your throat. “I brought pajamas.”
“I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled. “They’re your size and I think you’ll like them.”
“Thanks.” What other clothes did he have waiting for you? “What will you do while I'm in the tub?”
“I have a couple of calls to make.” He kissed your forehead. “And there's something else I want to set up for you.”
You shook your head. “I think this is more than enough,” you said honestly. He didn’t have to go to the trouble of setting this up. “But…” You fidgeted a little. “You promise you won’t just… barge in, right?”
This was still his home. He could easily make an excuse to go into his bathroom for whatever reason. And being naked in the bathtub, you’d be more vulnerable than normal.
Bucky’s eyebrows pinched. “Of course I won’t. This is your relaxing time,” he promised, kissing your forehead again as you breathed easier. “And like I said, I have a few things to do.”
You felt a little sheepish at his expression. “I’m sorry. I just…”
“Nothing to apologize for. I don't blame you for double checking.” He patted your backside with a gentle hand. “Just enjoy your time.”
With a small smile, he shut the door behind him. You waited a full minute after hearing his footsteps fade before you undressed and added the bath bomb to the tub. The scent brought a smile to your face before you tested the water temperature with your hand. It felt perfect, evident by your sigh once you got in.
You took your time sipping your wine as you began to read. Was this really going to be your bathroom now? Would you relax here after a rough shift or just because you felt like it? How many nights would Bucky insist on joining you?
But the man was, surprisingly, true to his word. He hadn’t disturbed you once. Even after you finished your glass and added more warm water to the tub, he didn’t knock or barge in. Even when you grudgingly got out of the tub and dried off before you pulled the plush robe on, he wasn’t sitting there waiting. Was he actually respecting your boundaries?
Peeking out into the bedroom, Bucky had laid out a pair of soft pajamas like he promised and was still nowhere to be seen. You were still quick to change so he couldn’t sneak a look at you. But where was he?
You thought of calling out when you went to search for him since the lights were dimmed all over the penthouse. Your fingers touched one of the walls. Would he ever hang a picture of his mom up or was it too painful?
Tiptoeing over to the balcony when you saw the door open, you spotted Bucky reading a book, too, and sipping whiskey from a tumbler. He looked completely at ease, lost in his own lonely world, and you weren’t sure if you should disturb him. Turning around, you wondered where you should go. Maybe you could curl up on the couch or something before he could-
“All finished in the bath?”
You froze and turned back toward him, his hair gently blowing in the breeze. “Yeah, sorry. I didn't know what to do when I was done, so I was going to wander around.”
He downed the rest of his glass and smiled. “You're welcome to wander, except into the den which is being redone.” He offered his hand again when he stood. “Did you enjoy your bath?”
“I did. That bath bomb was incredible,” you said. There was no reason to lie. “So was the wine.”
You gulped a little. Oh, god. You didn’t see him pour the glass. Why did you accept that from him? He could’ve put something in it. No, he wouldn’t. He wanted you to want him without that sort of influence.
“I'll get you more. The bath bomb and the wine.” he smiled, leading you back to the living room where he had pillows and blankets set up.
“Bucky, you didn’t have to-”
“I don't have to do anything, but I wanted to. Do you like it?”
You looked at the lush blankets and fluffy pillows. Like the bathroom, it looked like a dream. Looking back at him, you smiled softly at his once again hopeful expression. He carried himself with such confidence and didn't seem to care if he impressed others except for you. “I do. Thank you.”
He smiled, too, his whole face bright. “I thought it would be another good way to relax.”
The memory of Clark walking you home popped in your mind for some reason before you pushed it away. “This is all thoughtful, but aren't I supposed to be making it up to you?”
He frowned a little at your expression. “You being here is more than enough.” His fingers barely grazed your cheek. “Are you okay?”
You blinked and nodded. “I’m fine.”
Bucky considered you and you couldn’t help but fidget again when he pinned you with his gaze. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
You bit the inside of your cheek and closed your eyes. “I just don't understand why you’re doing all of this.”
He could’ve been manipulating you again, but it actually seemed like he was trying to be a doting boyfriend without expecting anything in return. Your guard was down enough for him to worm his way in, and you all too easily accepted the kind gestures. Why were you making it easy for him?
“You mean setting up the blankets and pillows? I thought we could lay together and watch a movie. Or talk.” His fingers touched your cheek again. “Whatever you want.”
You avoided his gaze when you opened your eyes. “That’s all you want?” you asked. He hadn’t dragged you to bed once you arrived, but he also didn’t say that he didn’t want something.
He ran a thumb over your bottom lip. “Well, I won’t lie to you. I want you, but I'm not pushing you. This is the first time you came to me willingly, and I want to cherish it.”
You shivered at his touch. “Yeah, I did come here willingly,” you said. Sort of.
“And how do you feel being here compared to the first time?”
“Better,” you admitted. You weren’t completely terrified this time, and you also felt like you had some control over. Maybe not much, but some.
“Good. Now, shall we?”
You nodded and allowed Bucky to help you settle into the comfort of the pillows. He pulled you close, but it wasn’t as suffocating as it had been before. This felt more gentle. More… right.
It should’ve felt wrong.
The room was so quiet and all you could hear for a minute was the gentle sound of his breathing and his heart beating. “What's your favorite color?” you asked. “I don't think you've told me.”
You weren’t sure if you had taken the time to ask because, well, it hadn’t been a real relationship in your eyes. But you needed to know him. Call it acceptance or ammunition. Maybe both.
“Blue,” he answered, his hand absentmindedly moving along your side.
“And your birthday?”
“March 10th.”
“Wait, you're a Pisces?” you smiled a little. “That explains so much.”
He smiled down at you and chuckled. “Oh, does it now?”
You laughed lightly. “Well, yeah. I mean, you’re just… you know…” He raised an eyebrow and waited for you to finish. “Emotional.”
“I can't argue with that,” he smiled, leaning in a bit. “Does it explain anything else?”
“Well, you're…” You were a little distracted as he kept rubbing your side. “Intense. Passionate. You want to be close to the person you fall for.”
He fit that to a tee.
His darkened eyes made you lose your breath. “I can’t argue with that either,” he whispered, pulling you close without hesitation and fusing your mouths together.
Bucky held you tight and rolled you over so you were on top of him, his hands skimming your thighs as he made you straddle him. A small sound escaped when he brushed against you, your heart pounding in your ears. “Bucky-”
“Stay home with me tomorrow,” he whispered, sitting up with you in his lap still. “We don’t have to go anywhere. We can spend the whole day together.”
“No,” you said firmly. You were going out with your friends and that was final. “Send Ray or someone to watch over me. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Please?” he asked, thrusting his hips up. “I’ll make it worth your while if you skip.”
Natasha’s words crossed your mind, reminding you that you had power. But a sinking feeling washed over you because that power had to come from your body, right? You shouldn’t be expected to give him sex, but you could give him something to hold him over. Pushing the dread away, you could hate yourself later for it. “You can spend time with me when I get back,” you offered, grinding your hips against his. “I’ll be all yours.”
The sickening feeling you expected when he moaned didn’t come. “You promise?” he murmured.
“Mmhmm,” you hummed, grinding your hips again. “You can even drop me off at Addison’s, and I’ll let you know when I get back to my place. I promise.”
“Okay, Kotyonok,” he groaned, his hands grabbing your waist. Your triumph didn’t last long. “Keep doing that and I’ll pay for all the bottles of wine you want, too.”
“You don’t have to-”
“Let me touch you. Please, just let me make you feel good,” he half begged, half demanding between kissing you again. He truly hungered for you. “I'll make you feel amazing if you just let me touch you.”
You took a deep, shaky breath. How far would he take it if he touched you? No, you had to stay in control. “You are touching me.”
“Let me take you to bed. I'll eat your pussy so good you'll cry.”
You tensed and tried to push yourself up, but he grabbed you and situated you over one of his massive thighs. He had a firm hold on you and it made your heart pound. “I don't want you to be scared. I'll take such good care of you.”
“I just… I’m not…” If he took you to bed, there’d be no turning back, and you had to maintain some control.
“You’re not ready for that,” he stated, his eyes still dark. Shaking your head, it worried you how he’d take it. But he suddenly started moving you over his thigh, hard and slow. “Okay, Kotyonok. I won't put my tongue or fingers in you just yet, but I still want to make you feel good.”
You made a small sound, trying to get your body to relax. You had never ridden anyone’s thigh before and you hadn’t pictured it like this. But the blissful look on his face, he looked like he was in heaven.
“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? Especially like this,” he praised.
“I…” you whimpered. “I’m not-”
“Yes, you are,” he growled, tightening his grip. “And you deserve to feel good. My girl deserves whatever she wants.”
Your hands flew to his shoulders when he flexed his thigh, sending an unexpected shock through your entire body. “Oh, my God,” you whispered before you could stop yourself.
“That felt good, right?” he asked, watching you with lidded eyes. “You want me to keep going? Make you come all over my pants?”
You whimpered when he held you still, unsure it was his dirty talk or the slight edging that had you trembling. “Bucky…”
“Tell me, Kotyonok,” he ordered, licking his lips and relaxing back into the blankets and pillows. “Tell me you want me to keep going and I will.”
You looked deep into his eyes. There was so much fire in them and it was burning for you. Your breath caught as he flexed his thigh again and you found yourself nodding. “Please, Bucky. Keep going.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I said,” he whispered, sliding his tongue along your lips. “Tell me.”
You swallowed hard, your core throbbing. “I want you to keep going,” you breathed.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, rocking you over his thigh again and sitting up, desperately pressing his lips to your neck. “You'll never have to beg for anything you want. Just ask or tell me and it's yours.”
Your eyes burned with unshed tears as your nails dug into his shoulders, feeling his thigh getting wetter beneath you. “Please…” you whispered, unsure of what exactly you were asking for. Mercy? To be put out of your misery? You could ask for anything except for freedom.
“Still begging when you don't have to.” He chuckled affectionately. “You’re so sweet.”
The pleasure building inside you was bittersweet. Sexual acts were, in your eyes, something to bring you closer together. What would he want next? What would you want next?
“Fucking yourself on my thigh. Wait ‘til you fuck yourself on my cock,” he gruffly spoke, your walls clenching around nothing when he lightly nipped over your pulse. “Just let go if you want. Make a mess for me.”
You were breathless from how close you were. “Do… that again,” you said, unable to let yourself feel embarrassed in the moment.
Bucky nipped your neck again and smiled when you moaned. “Fuck, that’s my beautiful girl. Doing so good for me, telling me what you want,” he said gruffly, dragging you faster along his thigh. “Now I want you to come for me.”
Your mouth fell open when he rocked you faster and bit down once more, hard enough that something inside you snapped. It didn’t just snap, you shattered. You saw stars. You couldn't stop it.
“There you go. Coming just for me,” he smiled, burying his face in your neck. “Fuck, you got my thigh all wet. Just ride it out. Good girl.”
Your face burned and you wanted to hide once you slowed down, but he wouldn’t let you when he lifted his head. He looked so happy, like a cat who got the cream. Your release dripped from your pussy and soaked your pajamas and his pants. You let him get you off.
And breathing hard, you surprised both of you by leaning in and kissing him.
He let out a deep moan, kissing you back with everything he had as he held you closer. You were still shaking from your orgasm, and you could blame that for the reason why you kissed him. And he behaved, not letting his hands wander as his tongue moved with yours.
He kept his mouth close to yours when you pulled back. The orgasm surprisingly helped you relax, but it worried you, too. Had you pushed too far with what you just did? Would he want more? You couldn’t let him in, and you weren’t ready to let yourself fall for him after everything. Not yet.
“Um, thanks,” you said, unsure of what to say to break the tension.
“Thank you,” he smiled.
His smile confused you. “But… you didn’t…” you trailed off. He was hard in his pants, and you hadn’t gotten him off. You selfishly got yourself off on his thigh with his encouragement.
“That doesn't matter,” he assured you, kissing the tip of your nose. “You trusted me enough to make you feel good.”
Your jaw dropped slightly. “But that’s… No. I…” You just wanted a bit of time with your friends, it wasn’t about trust. Was it? How could you trust this man?
He tucked your head under his chin and wrapped one of the blankets around you. “I know you're still a bit scared and you don’t want to trust me, and that’s okay. It’s scary to let someone like me in after everything.”
You shut your eyes to hold back tears. He had scared you from the moment you met, but you wouldn’t say you were completely scared of him right now. Not really. You didn’t know how you felt.
That was what scared you.
“Will someone keep an eye on my place while I’m out tomorrow?” you asked curiously, hoping the question didn't sound weird. You just didn't want Clark snooping around, and you didn't want Bucky worked up if you mentioned him.
“I have safety measures in place,” he replied. “Do you feel safe here?” he asked above a whisper.
“Yes,” you replied. You felt safe and in danger all at once. It was a strange feeling.
“Good,” he whispered. “Hey. Maybe you can spend the night tomorrow, too? We’ll do a movie night.”
“Maybe,” you whispered, your heart finally starting to slow to a steady rate. “And pizza.”
“Pizza and a movie? It’s a date,” he smiled. “We can talk about redecorating the place, too. Make it a real home for us.”
“A real home,” you whispered, knowing full well you were home for Bucky.
He rubbed your back and you noticed how relaxed he was. He was content to just hold you. Like an actual couple. Exactly what he wanted.
And if he noticed a tear streaming down your cheek when you eventually fell asleep in his arms, he thoughtfully kept that to himself.
So, that happened. It could've been... worse? He's wearing his girl down, isn't he? How are things going to be in the morning? Will he leave you be when you're with your friends? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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thinking about rin itoshi and sharing airpods with you.
i’m imagining you’re at a park together, its just about the evening. you’re standing beside the bench that you threw your bag onto, its just while you search for something in your bag. rin sighs, as you pull out your phone and an overly decorated airpod case.
now, listen. i just know he’d say “ew, that’s unhygienic.” but with enough convincing (pestering), you finally get him to wear one of your airpods. but what do you play, for someone who will most definitely judge your music taste?
“play whatever. just make it quick.” he mutters, taking your hand in his. your hand fits just perfectly with his, the gaps between his fingers comfortably enough space for yours to fit right in.
but despite him telling you to play anything, you’re still nervous. what if he’s just tolerating it?
since rin has decided you’re taking far too long (its been less than a minute.), he takes your phone from your hand, searching up an artist and choosing a featured album. you can’t see what song it is, nor who the artist is, so you just let it be.
now playing — black beauty [lana del rey]
he leads you, without a single word, to the swings and sits down. you sit on the one beside him, stretching slighting over the side to keep holding his hand. he stays put, simply taking in the moment and music. you try swinging. he sighs, letting go of your hand and letting you swing.
he can hear just barely over the music, you humming. it’s pretty. you’re pretty. so is the sunset.
ah, right. the sunset.
he stands up almost abruptly, grabbing onto the chain of your swing and accidentally stopping it so suddenly that you fall. right off of it.
“aaaaahh rinnieeee!!!” before you can even finish your sentence, he sighs. he offers his hands for you to grab and stand up with. but you stay on the floor, the wood chips and dirt clinging onto your clothes.
he sighs for what is the third (but feels like the hundredth) time this evening.
“fine, just. hurry up, we’ll miss it.” he leans down, opening his arms for you to wrap your own arms around his neck. you do as he gestured, carefully watching as he lifts you from the floor and holds his hands under your thighs.
you wrap your legs loosely around his waist, and once you’re comfortable, he starts walking yoj to wherever he said you guys would be late too.
turns out it’s not very far. in fact, you simply were carried to the shade of a nearby tree. to be fair, it’s mostly getting dark so the shade of a tree isn’t needed. nevertheless, he carefully sits you down on the grass and starts brushing the bits and bobs off of your clothes. he sits down beside you, and without a word, lays down. he looks at you, you’re confused. but he had one arm out, gesturing for you to lay down.
so you do. and before he can move his arm, you lay your head down on his bicep. you cheekily giggle, he simply rolls his eyes (he secretly hoped you’d lay on his arm).
“so, what would we be late for?” you ask, adjusting your airpod and snuggling a little closer to him. you wrap one arm around his torso, tracing light shapes on his side to pass the time.
“shh. it’s nearly time.” okay. loser.
you’re about to protest when he simply turns your face for you. and when he does, it’s perfect.
now playing — let the light in [lana del rey]
colours mix perfectly, between the branches of the tree you’re laying under. it’s truly a moment you can’t take a photograph of with a phone or just some camera. you just have to see it with your eyes. the colours are as if they’re hand in hand, they mix and merge perfectly. just like how your hand fits in rin’s.
watching a sunset, listening to lana and laying in your boyfriends arms. what more could you want?
a/n :: rushed. hate this. but it could be worse, ig. based off my irl experience. hope you like it, vee <3 taglist :: @sl-vega ; @rink1sser ; @veestar49111 + open [ask to be added] likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated
© kenyuukissme 2025 {do not copy, translate, steal, modify or repost without permission}
#kenyuukissme#signed by kyumeno#bllk#blue lock#rin itoshi#itoshi rin#bllk x y/n#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x gender neutral reader#blue lock x gender neutral reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#rin itoshi x y/n#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi rin fluff#itoshi rin x y/n#bllk fluff#bllk drabble#blue lock drabble#blue lock fluff#rin itoshi fluff#rin itoshi drabble
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Two Good Reasons, Part 12
Summary: Scott finally calls
Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader
Rating: mature
Warnings: language, Scott Huffman, drinking, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 8.4K
Previous
Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
“Me pee. Me pee. Me pee,” Suede jumps up from the couch where he had been taking a nap. Ignoring how Andy is chuckling at the little boy sprinting towards the bathroom. Struggling to make it to the bathroom in time.
“Did you make it, buddy?” Andy keeps his laughter light, so his son doesn’t hear him.
“Chess. Me ake it, daddy. More bett-or,” more better always meaning he feels better. Andy returns to his laptop. Getting ahead of next week when he hears the little boy start to walk out of the bathroom.
“Hands, Suede.”
“Ugh,” the dramatic side has to be from Scott. Unless you were a drama queen when you were younger, and he does not think that is even possible. “Me hands cean!”
“No, they’re not. You touched your penis,” you were a bit unsure about the kids knowing the correct terms of their body parts, until Andy explained that there isn’t anything wrong with it, and then there would be no doubt if they need to tell you something.
“Ugh, otay! Me ash me hands,” he stomps up on his stool, starting to play in the water more than wash his hands. His little annoyance is over. He jumps off his stool to dry his hands, and ‘monster walks’ towards your bedroom. Stomping and growling until he stops, and stares at the empty bed. “Daddy!”
“Suedey,” Andy says calmly as the cute little boy walks into the living room. Shrugging animatedly, “What is it?”
“Where my mama at? Daddy, where my mama at?”
“She is in the bed with Audrey taking a nap,” Suede turns to walk towards the stairs, until Andy clears his throat, and Suede turns to face the man that has become his father. “Do not go and wake them up.”
“Me wake!”
“I know you’re awake, but they are not,” Suede huffs before crossing his arms over his chest, and sits on the floor. “You don’t have to be like that. You’re acting all moody. They’ll wake up soon.”
“Me pay,” Suede huffs out, sticking his bottom lip out for emphasis that this is serious.
“You and I can play.”
“You work,” Andy closes his laptop, and sets it on the side table. Returning the biggest smile on the little boy’s face as he jumps up, and runs to get his living room toys. “We pay?”
“Yes, buddy. You and I can play.”
“Mama seep. Audi seep. Why?" His smile gets even larger when Andy sits on the floor with him, so he dumps LEGO bricks onto the coffee table.
“Audrey likes spending time with mama, and mama has what in her belly?”
“Two babieeess!”
“Yes, exactly. And growing babies is a lot of work. So I let mama sleep whenever she gets tired. Audrey thinks she’s going to feel the babies move first. I think that’s why she’s always with her,” Suede shrugs again, and starts stacking brick upon brick. The explanation was enough for him. The more important thing was his daddy was now playing with him.
Before Andy can even start to build, your phone lights up with a call. Andy gives it a bit of acknowledgment before silencing the ring. “Do you like staying at home with mama?” He still hadn’t returned to daycare. You just couldn’t do it, and Andy never pressured you to send him.
“Chess,” is his simple answer. And he scowls when your phone lights up from another call, and the same person. Andy silences it again, sighing when he tries to pay attention to Suede. “Who dat?”
“Someone calling to talk to your mama,” he says, regretfully having to silence it again. He finally gets a moment of rest, until a text comes through. He shouldn’t snoop, but this is from a man that you have called so much in the past couple months. A man you have begged to call his daughter. It’s not snooping, this is scanning the message before you.
’I wish you’d pick up so I can talk to you about seeing my daughter.’
It shouldn’t bother him that Scott didn’t mention Suede at all. He’d terminated all rights to the little boy, and Andy is well on his way to adopt him. Making Suede legally his. Just like you are now legally his wife. A ceremony can happen after the twins are born, but he didn’t want to take any chances with Scott trying something stupid for a bit more control.
Not that he doubted who the twins belonged to. But Andy doesn’t want you to have unnecessary stress. A stress free environment is what you need, and he’s going to do his damnedest to make sure that happens, and these phone calls, and the text should not be happening. Especially since Audrey has quit asking for her dad, for now.
Audrey has been resilient. Almost accepting that her father didn’t want to see her, and the announcement of you being pregnant helped. She always wanted to be with you. Always wanted to help you. She would even bring you things without asking. Watching your water bottle to make sure you stayed hydrated. Needless to say, becoming a big sister again is something she truly wanted.
Andy knows it’s just a distraction at the moment. He knows bedtime is the hardest, and she would ask him or sometimes you about her dad, and when he was going to call, or see her and Suede. She wanted to know when she could tell her dad about you having two more babies. She wanted to tell him what she got for Christmas, even quit asking what she thought he would get her. She is protecting herself by not bringing up Scott, but she is curious.
It’s the one thing Andy truly didn’t understand. The thought that Scott has the ability to get her every other Saturday, currently overnight stays were not allowed until he went through an anger management class. Scott’s ego had been bruised, and instead of being a man, he’d pretended that he didn’t have kids. You warned Andy it wouldn’t last. Once his mom started to ask about the kids, especially her little lawyer, he’d start playing the game again.
Game.
Too many things make Andy sick about Scott, but the way he treats his flesh and blood is the most abhorrent. Andy doesn’t want Audrey to be out of his sight. Wants her to be right here under this roof where he knows she’s safe. She deserved to be home and with people that she loved, and loved her equally back. Not used her as a reflection for his own ego. Scott loved her as long as she was making him look good. And ultimately he determined Suede never would.
Disgusting. There is no other word for a father who can be away from his children like him. Andy missed seeing his family on a daily basis, and it was only for a few hours while he worked. He couldn’t wait to come back home knowing all three of you were waiting on him. Soon it would be all five of you. The difference is Andy always wanted this life, and with you.
“Daddy, my yuv oo,” Suedey smiles up at Andy, scooting just a little bit closer to the man.
“I love you, too, Suedey. To the moon.”
“And yack!”
—
You brush back the baby hairs off your daughter’s forehead. Leaning forward to kiss on the top of her head. You let the sweet tear drift down your cheek as you sniffle. Since telling her you were pregnant, she didn’t want to leave your side. Sweetly demanded that you take naps in her bed with her. You don't care. You love these frozen moments with her. A reminder that she’s still so little and young.
Your sweet amazing little girl is growing up too fast. She may be tiny, but she is mighty. You couldn’t have asked for a better big sister to her brother, and soon more siblings. She is more kind and patient than you could have imagined. Protective and the most loving little human you’ve ever met.
If you could have had her with a different man you would have. Thankfully she has Andy to fill in that empty space her daddy has left. You wipe a tear off your cheeks as you just watch her sleep. She’s so beautiful. The baby that made you a mom, and you could not be more proud.
Here at her home she gets to be the bubbly princess of her dreams. Her imagination here has changed dramatically. Her stuttering has slowed down. And much to Andy’s surprise, she was drawing unicorns, fairies, and castles with his and your help.
“Mommy, your tears are getting me all wet,” you softly laugh as Audrey sits up in her princess bed. The cozy throw still covers the both of you as she stretches, and yawns, “Why are you crying anyways? Is it bad? Are you hurting? Did the babies kick!?” her voice goes higher at the last question. She wants to feel them kick so much.
“I’m just so happy that I’m your mommy,” Audrey gives you a sweet smile before leaning towards you, and hugging you, while snuggling into you. You inhale the soft smell of her sweet pea shampoo, and pull her on top of you.
“Mommy! Am I going to hurt the babies! Oh no!”
“Audrey, if you were going to hurt them, I wouldn’t have done this. Just give me a big ole hug,” she does. Burying herself deeper into your body. “What are we going to have for supper tonight?”
“Daddy said mush, but you said it was going to be chicken and rice with carrots and broccoli. So can we have that instead?” You love hearing her call Andy daddy. One day it just naturally turned into that. You knew it might not stick. That there was this part of her that needed to have a father in her life, and Andy fills that void. He’s always present, and always there for her and Suede. You know that his relationship with your baby boy is such a comfort to Audrey.
“Yes, my darling, we’ll have chicken and rice. Mmm,” you groan, sitting up and stretching. “Shall we go check on your brother and…”
“Daddy. Yes,” she interrupts you, and starts to crawl out of the bed. “You can call him that for me, you know?” It’s the first time that she ever told you that it was okay to acknowledge Andy as her daddy.
“You’re sure?” She nods her head. “You’re really sure?” Audrey giggles, nodding her head more. “You’re completely positive I can refer to Andy as your daddy?”
“Suede calls him that, and the twins will, too, so why can’t I?” You can’t argue with that logic. You didn’t care about Scott’s feelings anymore. May his balls smell and itch, and Taylor doesn’t want to have sex with him. “I think daddy suits him.”
“Me, too,” you answer with the utmost sincerity. Being a father is the sexiest you’ve ever seen Andy. “Come on. I think you and Suede need to play in the living room, while daddy and I get dinner going. And I’m cooking this all in the oven, so when it’s in there, we get to play with you, too.”
“Yes!” She screams, darting to the door. Her little feet pad to the stairs too quickly for Andy’s liking.
“Princess, don’t you run down those stairs,” you hear your now husband tell her, and her footsteps slow down. No screaming, and no condescending tone. Stretching again, you get her bed back in proper order before heading downstairs yourself. The quicker you get dinner in the oven, the quicker you get to spend time with your family.
Lazy Sundays are your absolute favorite. Until you’re met at the bottom of the steps by Andy. Instead of his warm smile, his brows are lifted, and the lines in his forehead seem deeper, “I just woke up. I don’t…”
“Scott called,” you gulp, looking to the living room to see Audrey and Suede happily playing with toys out in the open. They are happy. Audrey has dealt with the absence of her father. It hasn’t been easy, but is he wanting to talk to her, and then be absent again? If he’s coming into her life you want consistency. Him being gone almost broke her.
“Honey,” Andy says softly, pulling you in for a deep hug. He holds you so tight against him, rubbing your back as you let the tears of anger and frustration spill from your eyes. “Shh, let's go into the kitchen,” you nod, following him away from the joyous laughter, while you want to scream. Rage.
He lets the door to the kitchen close before issuing the softest kiss to your forehead. “Tell me what he said,” your voice is already flat and hoarse as he hands your phone to you. “He called six times before the text?”
“Well, five times, a text, and then a call again. With a voicemail. He won’t talk to you that way,” Andy’s voice is stern as he glares at your phone. If he could, he’d make Scott disappear forever.
“Scott is going to talk to me however he wants,” you answer nonchalantly. You’ve heard worse, and from him.
“He will not talk to you that way,” Andy repeats himself with a much more agitation in his tone. “I get that he has rights to his daughter,” Andy’s nose flares, and his hand resting on the counter top flexes. His knuckles go white as he tries to calm down. “But he will not talk to my wife that way. We can go about this calmly and like adults, or he can go back to supervised visits.”
“That won’t help anything. So he wants our daughter this weekend. I have to give him that access, and then he brings her back home to us at the end of the day?” Andy nods his head, his arm starting to relax. “Can we make him be consistent with this? Every other Saturday always. She just stopped calling Ransom in the middle of the night.”
“We can keep a record of his involvement. But there’s only so much we can do when it’s court mandated,” you roll your eyes, needing to busy yourself with preparing dinner. “Doe, I’m sorry.”
“And how do you think it’s going to go when he takes Audrey, and not Suede?” it’s the thing that had been bothering Andy the whole time he was waiting on you to wake. “She is even more attached to him than ever before. And what about Suede? I think he’s fully accepted you as his father, but he’ll be taking his sister away. And what if he realizes, that man didn’t want me. Ow!” You drop the knife onto the counter. This is why you shouldn’t cut vegetables when angry.
Andy is so fast to react. He’s by your side in a split second, pulling your hand to the sink, letting cold water run over your finger as he kisses your temple, and you can’t control your tears. “It’s not fair to either one of them. It’d be better off if he gave up rights to both of them. I know this is going to be a shitshow, and you’re — you’re telling me there’s n-n-n-nothing I can do?”
“Unfortunately,” his answer is so somber as he pulls out a drawer that holds a mini first aid kit. “You know I will fight like hell to get all of this resolved legally. And in time, he’ll grow bored of Audrey.”
“At Audrey’s expense,” grow bored of his daughter. How? She is amazing! She’s perfect and growing and changing so much. Scott would rather opt out of the minor hard things because of the inconvenience while also missing out all these small little moments of laughter and love that make it all worth it.
“I know. We have to be patient. If I could do anything, do you not think I would?” He kisses your bandage finger, and looks deep into your eyes. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you or our kids,” Andy emphasizes ‘our’, extending that word to Audrey as well. You’ve never doubted his love and protection towards both your children. You’ve witnessed it. “But we have got to follow the law. We could be held in contempt of court, and that won’t happen. So trust me on this. But I will tell you again, that man will not talk to my wife that way. And I will make it perfectly clear how he will not do that. I don’t want him calling your phone back to back, leaving angry voicemails, or even the texts. One phone call, one voicemail, or one text. And honey, you’ll have to pick up when he calls if you can, okay?”
“Yes, sir,” your face starts softening, and he pulls you in for a bruising kiss. Holding onto your belly as he swirls his hands over your little bump. No wonder you're growing at a faster rate than the previous pregnancies. You’ve got two beautiful babies in there. Beautiful babies that you and Andy created out of the most passionate and sweet love.
“Don’t be cheeky.”
“Yes, sir,” he swats your ass with his free hand before pushing you away from the cutting board. “Dinner!”
“You’re injured. Sit down and watch me or go play with the kids.”
“I do really like watching you,” he rolls his eyes as he smiles, washing his hands to take over dinner prep. “Andy, you know I trust you. This is just the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, okay?”
“I know,” he responds as you gulp. How did you get so lucky to find this man twice? Two times in your life you got to love him, and he never doubted that you would find each other again. Waited on you because he knew you were the one. He’s better than any man you could have imagined for yourself, but especially for your children.
“Mommy?” Audrey watches you flitter about, packing her a backpack, and you are too cowardly to even tell her why. Choosing to ignore the question in her voice when you slip her iPad mini into her bag. “Mommy, where we going?”
You aren’t sure. Just with her dad. He could take her to his apartment. He could take her to soft play. Maybe to the park. “Is Suede going?” you shake your head no, still unable to fully look at her.
“So is it with Uncle Ann?” Her voice gets so light and excited as she runs to her closet. “He said he was going to take me and to see a movie with Miss Tatum. Can I wear a pretty dress? Make sure to pack my Madeline doll he got me, and a blanket. It gets cold in the theater. Are you and daddy taking Suede somewhere? Uncle Ann said a movie might be too long for him, but he’d take us to soft play with Miss Tatum. I can’t wait.”
“Baby, you’re not going with Uncle Ann.”
“So is this a me and you day?” You shake your head no again, sitting on her princess bed as you rub along the swell of your belly. “I don’t understand.”
“Audi, your dad is going to spend the day with you,” she stares at you a bit confused at the statement.
“But why can’t you and Suede go with us?” The lines of course will be blurred as to who you are referring to. She hadn’t so much as heard from Scott in months, much less seen him. “Mommy?”
“Not your Andy daddy.”
“Oh,” she sits down immediately on the floor as her brows pitch up. Trying to work through her feelings while you just watch her. Giving her some space to figure this out, “But why — why not Suede, too?”
“Umm, your father,” it’s best to differentiate by using that word. Daddy is too sweet of a title for him. A title he never deserved, “He — well, he is going to allow Andy to adopt him.”
“Can Andy adopt me?” There’s a soft smile that tugs at her lip that makes you hurt. You would prefer that Andy adopt Audrey as well.
“No, it’s not that simple.”
“Then how come he gets to adopt Suede?”
“Because your father felt it was in his best interest to not be Suede’s dad,” Andy says in the doorway. You’re thankful that he didn’t leave you to drown on this.
“But I want you to adopt me like Suede. That’s not fair,” her arms cross over her chest and she pouts. “Y-y-y-you said that we do things as a family. And adopting him, and not me, is not being a family. That means I don’t match.”
“What do you mean not match?” You try to keep your tears inside of you. She isn’t wrong, this isn’t fair. It’s confusing. Especially to a child that is intelligent and can piece this puzzle together. Knowing your child she will fixate on this conversation. She’ll come up with a scenario on what’s wrong with her, or what’s wrong with Suede. But the reality is her father is what’s wrong.
“Well, if daddy adopts Suede what will his last name be?”
“Barber,” Andy says stoically. He walks over to Audrey, and kneels down before her.
“And the twins, what is their last name?”
“Barber,” you already know where her brain is going, and it pains you. Scott is beyond selfish, especially where Audrey is concerned.
“And you — your name is already Barber now. So I’m the only Huffman. That is not fair. That is not doing things as a family. And if I go to his house how will I know that Suede is breathing? Y-y-y-you can’t watch him all the time. Where is Suede now? Who is checking on his breathing? I-I-I-I can’t trust you to make sure he doesn’t have an allergic reaction. That that that that is my job as the big sister. And and and and and and,” her cheeks turn ruddy as she tries to catch her breath. The stutter you thought was gone now returning with one mention of her father, and her stress.
Scott deserves to hear these words. He should know the anxiety that he has caused his daughter concerning her brother’s breathing. A worry that she shouldn’t have as a five-year-old.
“Audi, princess, I need you to breathe for daddy, okay?”
“Am I allowed to still call you daddy?”
“I told you, you get to call me whatever it is you want.”
“But my last name isn’t Barber. I don’t like this. I don’t want to go to his house. I want to stay with you. He he he he he didn’t tell me Merry Christmas. He didn’t didn’t didn’t didn’t make sure Suede was okay. And he doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t ever tell me he loves me. He never never never never does,” you look towards Andy, begging him without words to not make her go. He never says he loves her. He could not tell you when you were married, but she’s a baby.
“And if if if I’m not here I can’t can’t feel my twins move first. And — it’s not fair! I hate you and I hate him!” Screaming she stands up, and pulls the bag out of your hand, throwing it across the room. “I don’t want to go! Do you not want me?”
“Baby, I want you for always,” you tell her. Struggling to talk yourself. You hate Scott. Hate the emotional turmoil that he has always put your daughter in. “But Scott has a right to see you.”
“Then he should have. But he didn’t. Not even at Christmas. Don’t make me go. No! Mommy is that him? I don’t want to go! Don’t make me,” The doorbell rings, and you watch Suede dart past her bedroom door, followed by Andy who scoops him up before he gets to the stairs. “No no no no, mommy, don’t make me go. What if I miss something here?” Tears trail down her face, and you pull her into your body. Wishing you could change this. A few hours seemed so long. Too long to be away from her family.
“We won’t do anything without you here. We’ll be waiting on you until Scott brings you back later.”
“I don’t have to sleep there?” in a perfect world she wouldn’t even have to go there.
“No, baby. Your father has homework to do before he can keep you overnight. It’s just for a few hours. Okay?”
She nods her head, and pulls away from your embrace, “I don’t hate you.”
“I know you don’t, baby. Come on. Let’s go see your father.”
She grabs onto your hand without a second thought. Holding you almost too tight while you pick up her bag, and walk towards the stairs. Parenting is always going to be hard, but this is a slow torture. It will only be six hours, and yet you feel like you’re going to be without her for an entire year. He’d missed so much, and didn’t even care. Your children were always a leverage to him. You wanted them, and he wanted them to hurt you.
“No!” Suede screams as he shakes his head at Andy. “No, daddy, no. No, ike that!” Andy’s grip on Suede gets tighter as he tries to comfort his son, instead of saying how he knew he didn’t like the man at the door.
“Scott, wanna come in?”
“No,” he answers shortly. Staring off into the distance because he can’t look at his biological son. Andy loathes him. The games he plays at the expense of his children are sick. It’s evil. They are his flesh and blood, and he can be so callous with them.
“Wow,” he says with no enthusiasm as you and Audrey walk into his view. “You sure didn't waste any time, I see. Shocking really. You weren’t supposed to be able to get pregnant. You sure…”
“Yes, the twins are mine. And it was all natural,” you’re not in the mood for a fucking pissing contest. Your first little love is distraught and has mixed emotions, and you were not in the mood for this. You just want to close the door on Scott, and pretend this didn’t happen.
“Audrey, let's go,” he’s so cold. No, ‘hey, I missed you. We’re going to have fun.’ Just let’s go because I lawfully deserve this.
“Do I have to?” She asks, looking up at you.
“Yes, you have to, unless you want your mom in jail. Now, let's go. I’ve got your Christmas presents.”
“Me yoys?” Suede asks, looking at Andy, and you see Scott rolls his eyes at him. Reacting with anger will only make this worse. Audrey needs you to be the strong one, the steady one, the one that she can rely on when her father fails her. “Daddy, me yoys, too?”
“Still can’t talk right,” he wants to piss you off. He wants to be hit. He is provoking both you and ANdy.
“He talks just fine,” Audrey furrows her brows, and steps away from him. “Say you’re sorry.”
“We gotta go. Get out of the house, and let’s get in the car.”
“No!” She stomps her foot, grimacing as she stares at him.
“You need to tell our daughter it’s time to go.”
“And you need to watch how you talk to my wife.”
“Wife?” Scott chuckles, and snaps his fingers at Audrey.
“I am not going with you. Say you’re sorry!”
“I don’t have time for these fucking games. Now get in the goddamn car.”
“Enough!” You scream to everyone in the room. The chaos of the conversation is making your heart race, and your emotions are at their limit. “Scott, you won’t come here disrespecting my home, and my family. That goes for Suede, Andy, and Audrey. She asked you to apologize to her brother.”
Scott hadn’t tried to set foot in the house, leading you to believe that he isn’t going to. He declined the invitation. If this is another one of his games to say he tried to get Audrey, but you refused, you’ll scream. It seems he came here just to start a fight so you would demand he couldn’t take her.
“Audrey is really confused and upset about how things have transpired. You haven’t returned any of her calls or her text messages since her birthday. So you will have to forgive her for her behavior. Everyone here is helping with Suede’s speech, and it’s improved. He speaks in sentences. So you constantly being rude about it doesn’t help. Now everyone, just breathe, and let's do this in a calm manner.”
“You can’t keep her from me.”
“I’m not trying to. I am making sure my daughter feels comfortable when she leaves, and she asked you to right one wrong.”
“I’m her father,” something he’ll never let you forget.
“Then act like it,” you warn him, and give a small squeeze to Audrey’s hand. “Apologize to her brother.”
“Sorry,” Scott gruffs out, and Suede is already playing with Andy’s beard to pay him any mind. “Audrey, let’s go.”
“And do not use foul language in front of her. She’s five, in case you forgot,” Scott only nods his head, holding his hand up for Audrey to take.
“Mommy?” His sorry was pathetic. But you can’t hold her from him. You won’t be the one that didn’t put effort in their relationship.
“I expect you to bring her back here by three o’clock,” Scott nods, wiggling his fingers towards Audrey. “And she has her iPad mini, and some toys. So if you need us, call us. We’ll be there in a second to get her early, or whatever.”
“Three?” You nod your head at Audrey, knowing she’s going to watch her iPad like a hawk now. “You promise to bring me back home?”
“Yes,” Scott answers, annoyed. Why he wanted kids is beyond you. Seeing how he easily can dismiss both of them is appalling.
“Mommy, daddy, Suedey, I love you.”
“Love you, princess,” Andy glares up at Scott as he gives Audrey a hug. A silent warning that he better behave. Scott’s aware of Andy’s influence and power. Andy gives her a chance to hug Suede before she’s reaching for you.
“If you need me, call me, baby.”
“She’s not a baby,” you ignore him. She will always be your baby. Forever will be your baby. And you’ll protect her however you have to. You hope this is the last visit Scott requests. You‘re sure his pride is hit so hard from this, and you pray it’s enough for him to just wipe his hands. Let him live his child free life that he seems to love.
“I will. I’ll call,” she sniffles, and pulls away from you. This is the hardest it’s ever been to let her go. Scott better show her more kindness than he has been. You won’t let him continue to get her. You’ll come up with something. You want her safe, and feel secure in her feelings. Hearing her stutter come back pains you. She is too young to have to deal with these big emotions. It’s too complicated, and she shouldn’t have to try and navigate them. You just hope this is a short visit. Less than the allotted six hours.
You’ll miss her every second she’s away with your phone glued to your hand. She would be okay. She would be okay. And you have to keep reminding yourself until it comes true. She will be okay.
“Has she called Ransom?” Andy hasn’t even got Ransom’s response before you nervously ask again. “Andy?” he looks up from his phone shaking his head. “I’m calling Scott again. He’s thirty minutes late. She is supposed to be Here at three. Andy, what do we do?”
“Audi at?” Suede pouts, stomping his foot. “My Audi at? Oo yie.”
“I did not lie, buddy. She was supposed to be here. Doe,” Andy’s thick fingers rub over his beard as he thinks. “Come on. We’re going to his house, and we’ll go get our girl.”
“Yay! Go to sissy!” Suede sprints towards the garage, and you grab his cup just in case. Ready to start pacing. Scott probably lost track of time. But him not answering his damn phone makes you uneasy. And Audrey hadn’t called anyone from her iPad. This isn’t like her. And something in your gut makes you queasy, and you don’t think it’s the twins.
“He can’t keep her from us. You have the upper hand here.”
“I don’t want to fight about my daughter though. I would be okay if he told me what was going on. But nothing. That, I don’t like,” the two of you walk into the garage, and you can’t help but smile at Suede already in his seat with his straps on, but not buckled. “Let’s go get our princess.”
—
“No! No no! No yike it hewe! No, daddy!”
“We’re not staying, buddy. We’re just getting Audrey,” Suede’s anxious face turns into a fake smile. If there’s one thing you would change about your life it would be leaving Scott before he got caught cheating. You tried to pacify him for too long. Let him get away with playing games with you, and also your children, all because you felt it was the right thing.
“I’ll go get her,” Andy says, leaning over to give you a kiss. You just want to know your daughter is safe, and had fun. You didn’t want to see Scott. Didn’t want to hear him. All you want is her safe with you. Andy could be the diplomatic one, while you’re acting all on emotions due to the pregnancy and the weird urgency you feel to have her in your arms.
He walks up the few steps to the house, a vastly different feeling than the first time he did this. He was supposed to be just bringing your wallet home. He gives the door a knock, and Scott slings it wide open swaying with the swift movement, “What?”
“You missed drop off time.”
“Yeah, well, I went to you to pick her up. Seems fair for you to come here,” he shrugs, doppily he rocks on his feet.
“You okay?”
“You know, Barber, I’m really not okay. My tramp of an ex wife blamed the divorce on me. And yet here she is, married to you, and you fucked a damn bastard in her belly,” Andy growls, glaring at the man. “I didn’t want another child after the fucking mistake of having a second one. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, am I right?” He winks at Andy, and Andy’s anger towards Scott grows. The bastard lied. You weren’t the problem. He was. He got a fucking vasectomy and blamed you for not getting pregnant.
”But you know you ruined everything. I don’t even have someone to carry on my fucking name, and you, you son of a bitch do, and Suede’s not even your fucking mistake. If he wasn’t born, we’d still be together. She changed after him.”
“Audrey! Grab your things, princess, it’s time to go,” Andy wants his daughter, and wants out there. Scott always wants a fight. Low blows. The asshole.
“I’m not finished with you, you prick. I hope you always remember that my wife took me whenever I wanted her. She was a submissive little bitch.”
Andy pulls Scott closer to him by his shirt, getting right into his ear, “You better watch your goddamn mouth when you're speaking about my family. Sober the fuck up. Next time you can’t contain your fucking drinking, call me, and I’ll pick up my daughter. Have I made myself clear?” Andy pushes him off him slightly, but it’s enough to have Scott stumbling backwards before he falls on his ass, and Audrey runs straight to Andy trembling.
Pushing herself tightly against her dad, and he picks her up, letting her wrap her arms around his neck, “Audi, you okay, princess?” He feels her shake her head no, and he continues glaring at Scott who tries to get his wits about him, but instead stumbles again as he tries to stand again. “Taylor here?”
“She left.”
“Slut! She’s such a fucking slut. Spreading her legs for…”
“Audrey, go out to the car, and tell mommy to call the cops, okay?” Her body continues to shake. She might not understand what’s going on with Scott, but she knows it isn’t right.
“Is he in trouble?”
“I just want to make sure someone can babysit him. He looks unwell.”
“He had a bottle with him.”
“Audrey,” he sits the little girl down, and she runs towards the car. As soon as she’s out of eyesight, Andy squats down to Scott, “You done fucked up, you little prick. You carried a bottle around, while you got yourself drunk and my daughter was here with you.”
“My daughter.”
“You’re not even man enough to tell her you’re unwell. All this shit piling up on you Scott, is your fault. Not my wife’s, and certainly not my kids. Drink yourself into oblivion, I don’t care. But not around her.”
“You can keep the stupid one. Oh,” Scott coughs when Andy kicks his side. Not enough to leave a bruise, but enough to get some instant gratification. It takes a very small man to make fun of a child, “He’s not right. He’s nothing but trouble. You’ll see. She’ll always love that kid more than you.”
“See the difference is I know that my kids need her in a different way than I need her. I know that she’ll tend to them because of that need for her. I’m an adult. I don’t need her to feed me, take care of me. I don’t need her. I want her. I cherish her. I worship the ground that she walks on. You had it all. You had the most perfect woman.”
“Pregnancy fucked her body up,” pregnancy made you more desireable to Andy. Your soft curves, the glow on your face, the way you loved being a mom. No wonder Scott went younger. You were the respectable wife, when all he wants is a sex toy with no attachments.
“I think that was you,” Scott’s eyes roll in the back of his head as the lights of a cop car come into view. Just another thing Andy has to deal with, instead of comforting his family. He’ll calmly give a statement. Having a legal document of Scott’s inebriation while in charge of Audrey. “Fuck you, Scott,” Andy groans as he turns to meet the officer. He needs to ease your mind that he’s okay. Let you see that you’re not hurt.
Scott Huffman will regret today. If anything happened to Audrey there would be hell to pay. Supervised visits will be pushed. Incidences like this will not happen again. Scott spiraled and spiraled until he turned to his main vice, alcohol. He’ll regret today. And every day after if he continues to talk about you or the children like that.
“What do you mean she won’t talk to us?” You demand, trying to walk up the stairs to Audrey. “Andy Barber, you let me go see my daughter. Andy! Move, please!”
“She’s asked for Ransom,” you roll your eyes, growling as you try to push past him. “Ransom was going on a date with Miss Tatum.”
“So then I need to see my child,” he’s really getting on your nerves trying to block you.
“And Ransom said that he didn’t mind if she came with them, so he’s on his way here.”
“But that’s my daughter. And she — what happened? What happened? And why did I need to call the police?” You waited for it to be just you and Andy. But you need to know.
“Mama, yook!” Suede holds up a tower of LEGO bricks he built, but you just want to talk with your daughter. You need to hold her, and just show her love and comfort.
“Doe, I think she wants Ransom because you are all emotional,” you huff, trying to skirt past him quickly, but he blocks you again. “I would rather her talk to us. She isn’t physically hurt. She’s upset, and asked for Ransom. Ran is the ADA, and he’ll know the right way to talk to her, and if there’s anything wrong he will call and bring her home. But can you give her this safe space with him?”
You don’t like it, even though Andy is right. She’s willing to talk with Ransom, and getting out of the house and with her teacher could be a good thing. “He’s getting her an hour before picking up Tatum. That way she won’t feel obligated to talk in front of her.”
“Why didn’t she call? She called none of us. Not even Suede. Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”
Andy’s Adam’s apple bobs as he looks from you to the floor. Contemplating if he wanted to tell you at all. It has to be bad, and your mind is going everywhere, and you’re unsure if it’s close. “He was very drunk.”
“Son of a bitch,” Andy pulls you in so tight to his body. Your anger instantly spurring tears. You want Scott to physically hurt as bad as he makes your daughter hurt emotionally. She had to have been so scared and confused. Scott is an angry drunk, and you never would want her to witness that.
“Mama, what ong? Daddy, mama cy?”
“Mama’s okay, buddy. Hey, can you go make me a dragon?” Suede shakes his head no, and pulls at your pants. “Make daddy a really big tower for us to knock down.”
“Chess!” He screams, running back into the family room.
“She wasn’t hurt?” Your voice is so weak. He’ll never see her again if you have anything to say about it. Now you understand the reason for the cops. Andy was documenting that Scott was drunk while Audrey was there. Bastard. The low son of a bitch bastard.
“She wasn’t physically hurt. I think it’s more to deal with her heart. The disappointment runs deep, and she didn’t even want to leave Suede.”
“But my baby,” her sperm donor sucked. You knew he sucked, but this is at an entirely different low than you were expecting. You know Scott drinks, and drank. But to be drunk for the few hours that he got her. And after months of being away. He chose then to subject her to drunken stupidity. And he was always such a sloppy mean drunk. “I hate him so much.”
“But our baby is okay. Let Ransom get her, I’ll put in her seat, and he can try and talk to her. He is her safe space because we’re too emotional. And…”
“Ransom buys her what she wants,” you laugh so weakly as you try and process everything. You knew something was wrong. “And maybe he can find out why she didn’t call. That’s not like Audrey.”
“Andy, you promise that not a hair on her head was hurt while she was there,” you ask as you pull your face off his chest. “I will…”
“Shh, no talking. Just know I had the same exact thoughts. Let’s go see our boy. There’s a baby monitor in Audrey’s room. Here,” you whisper a thanks to him as he pulls you away from the stairs. It isn’t the most ideal thing. But, it’ll do. You hope, pray, and beg that Ransom can find out exactly what happened. And so help you God if Scott drove in the car with her while drunk...
—
“Audi?” Audrey quickly looks out the window, leaving Ransom to only glance at her in the rear view mirror. She’d been fidgeting the moment she got in the car, but never said anything. “Audrey, you want to talk about what happened?”
“I would really like a dog,” Ransom glances back at her again and she’s looking directly at him. “I know mommy has two babies in her belly, but I would like a dog. A bigger one. One that can be my protector.”
“Do you feel you need protection?” Words are important. Kids say a lot even when they’re not saying the thing you think you’ll hear. Audrey mentioning a dog for protection says a lot.
“Suede isn’t allergic to dogs. I asked mommy again. I don’t want a mean dog, just one that loves me.”
“Audrey.”
“If you buy me a dog — I will talk,” of course she would mention something such as this, leaving Ransom unable to say no. She plays him more than Suede does. She knows just how wrapped he is.
“You want our date to be at the dog shelter?” Audrey smiles, but only briefly, and nods her head. “Audrey, you want to tell me what happened?”
“I don’t like him,” she answers, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s mean to my mommy, and — Andy daddy. And he says mean things about Suede,” her brows furrow, showing so much more her age than her size. A little girl who has been through too much in too short of a time. “He was drinking from a square bottle. And Taylor and him started screaming at each other. She told him he was stupid, and he said that he never wanted…”
Audrey’s words stop abruptly, and her face scours up. “If I say it will you be mad?”
“No, baby, I won’t be mad at you for telling the truth.”
“He said he never wanted any fucking kids. He just wanted to make sure my mommy didn’t leave,” she wipes her cheeks off, while Ransom turns into a shopping center. Pulling the car over, and parking before he crawls in the back seat of the car, and letting her out of her seat. The tiny little girl crawls into his lap, wrapping her arms around him.
“What does that mean?”
“It means he doesn’t deserve you, and never deserved your mom.”
“He threw my iPad, and it’s broke, and I couldn’t call anyone,” her tears soak his neck, and he starts rocking her back and forth. Thinking of ways that he could end Scott, even if he has to hire someone. Prick of a man that wants to treat anyone ‘smaller’ than him like that. And his own daughter. Ransom would murder someone to protect your children.
“I hate him so much. He’s so mean. Don’t make me go back there ever again. I can’t. I don’t want to leave my brother, and what if Andy gets to feel the babies move first? I hate him so much.”
The need for her to have a protective dog makes so much sense. But it’s not even that, she needs someone to read her own moods. You have a fear that her anxiety is going to manifest into something stronger. Depression in children is far too common now. Her perfectionist nature already is starting to cause outbursts of frustration. And she’s five! With too much responsibility that her father bestowed upon her.
“Audrey, you know we all love you, princess. And your Andy daddy, mommy, and me, we are going to do everything in our power to make sure you are safe and loved, and with your mommy,” it is in everyone’s best interest that Audrey stay with you. Scott was the scum of the earth. Admitting that he didn’t want children, in front of his golden child…
The man had clearly spiraled after not getting his way. Even at work. His good fortune had run out. And either legally he would be kept from Audrey, or Ransom would have to deal with things his family’s way.
Audrey leans back, sniffling, but smiles up at Ransom. Appearing fine, and okay now, but he knows better. Audrey has a tendency to make sure others are okay, even at the expense of herself. “Can Miss Tatum help me pick out a dog?”
“Yes, princess. I think Miss Tatum would love to help look at the dogs. Are you hungry?” She shrugs, crawling out of his lap and into her seat. “We’ll get Tatum, and have us a small lunch, and head to the shelter, okay?”
“If I have a dog, does that mean I can’t go to — dad’s house?” She looks down at her lap, pulling on her straps, and buckling herself in. “I can’t leave the dog alone, and dad doesn’t like dogs.”
“Yeah, I think that’s possible,” it’s possible for Scott to have his balls ripped off his body.
“And you won’t tell mommy I said that word?”
“No, your secret is safe with me. Does he say that word a lot?”
“He says lots of words when he drinks out of the square bottle. He’s not nice. And I don’t like how mean he is to Suede and mommy. I think he hates daddy, too. He calls him — a, um…a goddamn prick.”
Scott keeps on ticking more and more reasons to hate him. No fear. He will be dealt with. And for Scott’s sake, he better hope the courts deal with him first. “Come on, let’s get Tatum, lunch, and a dog.”
“I want a girl. And she’s my dog, okay?”
“Yes, I think Suede is too little. And I think we need to go to the Apple Store,” Audrey smiles at Ransom as he makes his way to the front seat. “Now, I know that Suede has the mini, but he’s just so little. You’re really into drawing now?” She nods her head, and reaches over for the Madeleine doll she brought for the trip. Giving the little stuffed girl a hug. “I think we should get you something bigger, and a pencil. But this isn’t something for you to tease Suede with okay?”
“Uncle Ann?”
“Hmm?”
“I like that idea, but I don’t want something Suede can’t have. I’ll just take a mini, since I’m getting a dog,” the kindness this little girl has in her pinky is more than most have in the entire world. She is too soft, and deserved to stay that way.
“Okay, princess.”
“And maybe text daddy. He’ll let mommy know about the dog.”
“Good idea,” Andy could ease you into the idea. It isn’t a conversation you as a family haven’t had. You liked the idea of a dog. Your kids have so much space out here it just makes sense.
Next
Masterlist
Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai
@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989
@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy
@hisredheadedgoddess28 @capswife
#two good reasons#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x fem!reader#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x y/n#andy barber x you#andy barber smut#andy barber fanfic#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber fic#andy barber fics#chris evans#chris evans character#defending jacob
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⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃⋆ 'til death do us part,
summary. you catch a pattern at a couple's retreat and have to go understand. cue in sam's new (fake) wife!
pairing. sam winchester x reader ; fake couple
wordcount. 694
"You ready?"
Sam’s voice is smooth, deep, warm like honey. You nearly roll your eyes, but instead, you lace your fingers with his and plaster on your best adoring-wife smile.
"Of course, darling," you purr, giving his hand a little squeeze for effect.
The ruse is simple enough: a small-town cult disguised as a religious retreat, luring in young married couples for “spiritual renewal.” The catch? None of them ever leave.
So here you are, hand-in-hand with Sam Winchester, wearing a simple gold band on your finger that’s heavier than it should be.
The woman at the check-in table beams at you both, her gaze flicking to your joined hands. "Such a beautiful couple," she says. "How long have you been married?"
Sam barely hesitates. "Three years," he says easily. "Met in college. Love at first sight."
You feel your cheeks warm. You hadn’t rehearsed that part.
The woman sighs dreamily. "How wonderful. Well, we’ll get you both settled in. We encourage closeness, so no separate rooms here. Just you, your spouse, and the universe binding your souls together."
Oh, fantastic.
Sam keeps up the act flawlessly, rubbing slow circles against the back of your hand with his thumb as you follow her down a candlelit hall. Your fake honeymoon suite is small but cozy, with soft lighting and a single bed in the center.
The door shuts behind you, leaving you alone with Sam and the inescapable tension crackling in the air.
"Three years, huh?" you tease, slipping off your shoes.
He shrugs, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Seemed believable."
"You got a whole love story planned out?"
Sam smirks. "I could come up with one if you want."
You roll your eyes and flop onto the bed, feeling the mattress dip slightly under your weight. "Nah. I think I like this arranged marriage thing we’ve got going on."
Sam chuckles, running a hand through his hair. He’s too comfortable, too good at this. You should be focusing on the case, not on how right his last name looks on your fake I.D.
You clear your throat. "So, what’s the plan?"
"Figure out what they’re really doing here, take down the bad guys, save the day," Sam says. "Same as always."
"With a side of marital bliss," you add dryly.
Sam tilts his head, amusement flickering in his eyes. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like calling me your husband."
You smirk. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like it."
He doesn’t answer right away. Just watches you, something unreadable behind those sharp hazel eyes.
For a second, the whole act slips into something dangerously real.
"Maybe I do," he finally says, voice quieter now.
Your stomach flips.
You should say something snarky, make a joke, something, but your mouth is suddenly dry, and Sam is still looking at you like that.
Like maybe pretending doesn’t feel so much like such a burden.
The case should be your first priority. The weird chanting you heard earlier, the way the other couples here seem too happy, the fact that you might be in real danger if you don’t figure out what’s going on.
But all you can focus on is the way Sam’s fingers brush against yours when he leans down, resting his weight on his hands beside you.
"Maybe we should get some sleep," he murmurs, his voice softer now, heavier.
You nod, pulse thrumming in your throat.
You don’t move. Neither does he.
The space between you crackles with something unsaid, something waiting.
But Sam pulls back first, shaking his head like he’s clearing a thought from his mind. "Big day tomorrow."
"Right," you say quickly, swinging your legs onto the bed and yanking the covers up.
A beat of silence.
Then Sam reaches over and turns off the light.
You lay there, staring at the ceiling, hyper-aware of every breath he takes beside you. Of the warmth of his body inches away.
Of the fact that you’re still wearing his last name.
And that maybe he was right and you like calling him your husband. That you wouldn’t mind keeping his last name.
want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @taurus0queenie33 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @whereiwakewarm ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles ⋆ @hauntedrose555 ⋆ @chevroletdean ⋆ @dulcescorderitas ⋆ @blackmarketfruitrollups ⋆ @impala67rollingthroughtown ⋆ @rulesareshadesofgrey ⋆ @nervoussystems ⋆ @daryls-luvrr ⋆ @sunnyteume ⋆ @drakelover78 ⋆ @angelblqde ⋆ @mostlymarvelgirl ⋆ @whisperingdaze ⋆ @bossyblondie ⋆ @iluvnewtie ⋆ @dyhsversion ⋆ @s0urw00lf ⋆ @mrs-pondwater19 ⋆ @myceliumsunshine ⋆ @idk6505 ⋆ @giggles1026 ⋆ @idontwannabehere7
#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x you#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester fic#supernatural#.docx
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“Pressure,” Tom Hiddleston says, “is a privilege.” He apologises for appropriating the title of Billie-Jean King’s memoir, but it’s a sentiment that feels pertinent to him and his co-star Hayley Atwell. They have known each other for 20 years, have both starred in the Marvel universe (Hiddleston as the charmingly villainous Loki; Atwell as the wartime spy Peggy Carter), but this is the first time they have worked together — if you don’t count their group audition to get into drama school.
In a baggy sweatshirt (Atwell) and natty pale-blue jacket with clasps (Hiddleston), they are in a south London studio to rehearse Shakespeare’s bantering would-be lovers Beatrice and Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing. It will be only the second Shakespeare play performed at the 2,000-seat Theatre Royal Drury Lane in London since 1957. And the pressure Hiddleston refers to comes from the fact that the previous one — The Tempest, starring Sigourney Weaver, also directed by Jamie Lloyd — failed to go down a storm.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1dc47fd797fc4185e9b51bd740fca3f4/9eba6b1dc14f62f6-82/s540x810/c7d0a7d181c27584716ae755608b801fdb095f27.jpg)
Atwell and Hiddleston in rehearsal for Much Ado About Nothing
MARC BRENNER
Withering reviews such as The Times’s (“Sigourney Weaver’s blank Prospero makes zero impression”) poured cold water on a desert island story that had been relocated by the director Jamie Lloyd to a charcoal-black netherworld. Prices were cut, and an onstage protest by Just Stop Oil looked like light relief.
“We can exclusively reveal that [Much Ado] is not set in a charcoal netherworld,” Hiddleston deadpans. The pair start each day of rehearsals with an hour of dancing. How much dancing will make it into the show? The pair, who are friendly but guarded, can’t or won’t reveal.
What they will say is that you don’t do a show like this by halves. It turns out that Shakespeare is more like a Marvel film than you’d think. “You’ve got to commit with heart and soul and body, like you do for action sequences,” Hiddleston explains. “All acting can be boiled down to how much you commit.”
“I like pressure,” Atwell says. “There is a part of it that is very healthy and useful. But any sort of pressure attached to an idea of my name as a brand or a public persona is so arbitrary and abstract. I turn off the noise that is inconsequential. I find the bit of it I can use.”
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0a1c4baf7603dbad6d31d33ca5155ab7/9eba6b1dc14f62f6-5a/s540x810/c4398392e70444f6aff5cbab56e0c86c7967c01e.jpg)
Tom Hiddleston as Loki, a mischievous Marvel villain
ALAMY
In 2022 Atwell had to do this while filming Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One amid bogus reports of a relationship with the film’s star Tom Cruise; the pair are teaming up again for Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning, released this summer.
Hiddleston tells a story about his first big London Shakespeare opening, in 2007. He was playing Cassio in Othello, alongside Chiwetel Ejiofor as Othello and Ewan McGregor as Iago. At five o’clock the three popped out to a Covent Garden Pret a Manger to get a pre-show sandwich. (It is hard, the Much Ado two agree, knowing exactly when to eat before a show.) There was a first-night tension you could cut with a knife. Or there was until Ejiofor just said bluntly: “‘Well, this is a big night. No question.’ And it made us all laugh. Cos, yeah, it’s kind of a big deal — but what can you say?”
“’This is not your average Thursday,’” Atwell says.
“It’s not!” Hiddleston agrees.
Now 44, he already had an agent when he auditioned at Rada, having got one while studying Classics at Cambridge. Atwell, now 42, who grew up with her mother in west London, had delayed higher education to travel around with her American father and work for a casting director. When they met, in the final stage of auditions, it was on a day of working in a group.
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Atwell and Hiddleston at the premiere of Jamie Lloyd’s The Tempest last year
ALAN CHAPMAN/DAVE BENETT/GETTY IMAGES
Atwell feels she handled the pressure less well than Hiddleston. “The woman from Rada said to us, ‘We are now looking for the next generation of actors who will be making a profound contribution to the arts.’ And I was, like, ‘I don’t know about that, mate, I’m just trying to get out of being in a housing association — if I can make a living I will be very happy.’ I was very intimidated.”
“It was very intense,” Hiddleston says.
“I was too shy,” Atwell says. “I didn’t commit.”
“I thought you committed,” Hiddleston says. “I thought you committed hard.”
He got in, she didn’t, and went to Guildhall School of Drama instead. But after leaving in 2005 she got a big role in the TV adaptation of Alan Hollinghurst’s novel The Line of Beauty almost immediately. A few posh roles followed, including in the film Brideshead Revisited.
“There was probably a bit more classism around then, and I suppose my own prejudice about ‘I’ve got to sound a certain way to even be considered for the kind of parts that might lead eventually to a film career’. So I thought if I could go down a period drama route, as opposed to the soap route or more working-class plays, I might give myself more of a chance. I had no back-up plan. I didn’t have any kind of privilege, didn’t come from money.”
The Eton-educated Hiddleston may come from a more prosperous upbringing but insists that, as an actor, “you never feel you are on solid ground. I have had to remind myself to smell the roses, because they don’t bloom all that often.”
His next theatre role was Lloyd’s revival of Pinter’s Betrayal in London and New York in 2019, which is how he met his fiancée, Zawe Ashton, who was a castmate. Atwell, meanwhile, last appeared in the West End in Ibsen’s Rosmerholm in 2019. Before that her work included another Donmar Shakespeare (Measure for Measure) and an Olivier-nominated performance in Lloyd’s production of Alexi Kaye Campbell’s The Pride. She didn’t know it at the time, but theMission: Impossible director Christopher McQuarrie saw her in it — something that led, seven years later, to him casting her as the con artist turned secret agent Grace.
He had a moment like that in 2013 — when the second Thor film came out at the same time as he was earning rave reviews for Coriolanus at the Donmar theatre in London. Hiddleston was the man of the hour. “And then you’ve got to do another 75 nights on stage, and make sure you are careful in the fight scene not to slip on the blood. The work anchors you.”
“You can’t predict,” she says. “There’s so much luck involved. I’ve worked for a number of years … and failure is allowed. I didn’t used to find it easy to fail and get a second chance. Particularly as a woman there was this sense of ‘you have to be perfect’. But while you want to deliver, after a while it’s not yours any more. It’s for the audience, and if they don’t like it, or if it doesn’t work, they’re allowed, that’s allowed.”
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Atwell as the wartime spy Peggy Carter in Captain America: The First Avenger
JAY MAIDMENT/MARVEL STUDIOS/THA/SHUTTERSTOCK
Hiddleston, meanwhile, who has been filming the second series of John le Carré’s The Night Manager after a nine-year gap since the first, is still Loki to much of the world. The pair have never been in a Marvel scene together, though they did appear at the same event: Comic Con in San Diego in 2013, to which Hiddleston turned up in costume. “Nobody knew it was happening , it was insane and foolish and really fun.”
“I was backstage,” Atwell says cheerfully. “I will never forget the vision of Loki brushing his teeth in full costume.”
She says she is glad she was 15 years into her career before her five-year tour of duty on Mission began with filming in 2020. “I’m so grateful for that, because the level of global exposure on it, purely from being alongside Tom Cruise, can uproot and upend your life. But actually I’m too old to go, ‘What’s next?’ A real sense of security only comes from the commitment to work for work’s sake.” Offstage, both are engaged to their partners: Hiddleston to Ashton (the couple have a two-year-old), Atwell to the music producer Ned Wolfgang Kelly.
What led to today’s professional pairing? Hiddleston and Lloyd wanted to do another play together after Betrayal, and the actor suggested Much Ado. “It seems so light and warm,” he explains, a nice contrast to the heartbreaks of Betrayal. When Lloyd suggested Atwell, Hiddleston said yes immediately. “We’ve known each other for so long, and Beatrice and Benedick have known each other for so long.”
“I had only one question,” Atwell says, “which was, ‘Jamie, how ‘hey-nonny-nonny’ is it going to be?’” Lloyd assured her the hey-nonny-nonny levels would be minimal. “So I thought, this sounds really exciting.”
And if this pulls in a crowd more inclined to Marvel than Much Ado, well, marvellous. Hiddleston, who likes to spin a yarn, gives an impassioned speech about the magic of storytelling in all its forms, about “something being transmitted, from the stage or from the screen, that leaves you feeling more connected, more human, more alive, less alone in the world”.
And that applies to Marvel — famous dislikers of the franchise such as Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola notwithstanding — too?
“One hundred per cent,” they say in unison.
Atwell sees superhero stories as modern-day mythology. “I don’t believe in highbrow or lowbrow — I think it’s just art and film and theatre. You wouldn’t necessarily connect Marvel with Shakespeare. But both can be for everyone.”
Hiddleston remembers going to a screening at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York of the first Avengers film. A group of first responders who had been at 9/11 a decade earlier were there too. “They were all wearing their uniform in the cinema. And the film is about how the Avengers have basically saved New York from Loki. And when Loki gets smashed by the Hulk like a fish at the end, they literally threw their hats in the air and cheered. That was so moving.”
Much Ado About Nothing is at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane, London, Feb 10-Apr 5, thejamielloydcompany.com
#posting the whole thing because it's behind a paywall#and I refuse to give Murdoch any more money#tom hiddleston#hayley atwell#much ado about nothing
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for your own good୨ৎ
(mingyu x reader)
it starts with whispers.
low voices at fansigns, barely audible over the noise—you should stay away.
then, it’s the messages. anonymous accounts sending vague warnings, escalating into outright threats. you try to ignore them. mingyu tells you not to worry. security tightens. but still, they keep coming.
then, it happens.
the crowd at the airport is thicker than usual, pushing and pulling, bodies pressed too close together. mingyu is just ahead of you, reaching back to hold your hand, but in the chaos, someone shoves you—hard.
your knees hit the floor. pain shoots through you.
and then—
"stay away from him," someone murmurs, so close you feel their breath.
your blood runs cold.
then, just as fast, they’re gone.
hands grab you—mingyu.
"hey, hey—are you okay?" his voice is frantic, his grip firm as he pulls you up.
you nod automatically, even as your wrist throbs, even as your heart pounds. you don’t want to ruin his schedule, don’t want him to worry.
but then he sees it.
the bruise already forming.
and his expression shifts—from concern to something darker.
—
you don’t see mingyu for a few days. his schedules are packed, and you convince yourself that everything is fine.
but then, late one night, there’s a knock at your door.
when you open it, he’s standing there.
silent. eyes tired.
"mingyu?"
he exhales, stepping in, shutting the door behind him. his hands find your wrists, his touch featherlight when he reaches the bruise that has now faded into a dull yellow.
"i should’ve been there," he whispers.
you shake your head. "you were there."
"not fast enough." his jaw clenches. "this happened because of me."
you hate the guilt in his voice. hate the way he’s looking at you like he’s the one who hurt you.
"mingyu—"
"maybe—" he swallows. "maybe we should—"
no.
you already know what he’s about to say.
so you do the only thing you can think of. you reach up, cup his face, and pull him into a kiss.
his breath stutters.
but then he’s kissing you back, hands gripping your waist, pulling you so close you can feel his heartbeat racing against yours.
when you finally break apart, he exhales shakily.
"don’t," you whisper. "don’t say we should break up."
his brows furrow. "but—"
"no." you shake your head. "you don’t get to decide what’s best for me. i choose this. i choose you."
his shoulders sag, like the weight of the world is pressing down on him. but then—slowly, finally—he nods.
"okay," he breathes.
and when he wraps his arms around you, holding you like he never wants to let go, and he doesn't.
#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagines#svt fic#seventeen fics#svt#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x you#mingyu svt#mingyu x you#mingyu x reader#mingyu seventeen#mingyu#seventeen mingyu#svt angst#svt fluff
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Listen team, it’s been one of those days. So here’s me service - aka it’s a really fluffy piece of Sylus just showing up and being there for MC. Literally just garbage fluff- enjoy, and feel free to send me any headcannons or requests you would like to see. I’m finally writing again for the first time in years, and it makes me really happy to explore these worlds again. As always I didn’t proofread - it’s just a thing with me, I know forgive it. If I reread to correct it, I will never be happy with it so it is what it is.
_____________________________________________________________________________
It was one of those days where she felt like she was about to unravel, like the next breath could very well result in the collapse of her being - or at least her sanity. It had started at work. Her coworker had decided to go behind her back on a mission, screwing her over for what was supposed to be her next assignment. Next, she found her lunch had disappeared from the communal fridge, and so as she’s sitting at her desk eating the stale protein bar from the back of her drawer she gets an email that causes her to cuss under her breath. Finally the day comes to a close, and as she’s walking back to her apartment, the sky lets out a torrential downpour, soaking her to the very core. Then when she gets back to her apartment, the power is out. Luckily Mephisto had already been waiting and her phone rang a mere moment after she came to the realization, flipping the switch repeatedly with no change in results. Although she wondered if Mephisto reported back how long she stared at his picture and name on the screen, an internal war raging as she tried to decide if it was even worth picking up. Ultimately she had, which is how she found herself standing on the side of the road waiting for Sylus to pull up.
The wind was biting now that the sun had set. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, pulling the coat closer to her frame as she tried to shrink back into the wall of the building. She’s tired, irritated, wet and her mood is darkening by the moment. When he finally pulls up, she’s ready to lose it. Not that anything is his fault, but her emotional regulation is shot at this point. At least, that’s what she thinks until he’s out of the car hauling her soaked and freezing frame directly into his warm embrace.
“Come on kitten, there’s a hot dinner waiting in the car and we’ll go N109 speeds back to base,” he mutters in a soft voice, his hand smoothing down her hair, and the dam breaks. She fists her hands into his shirt and finds herself sobbing into his chest. They’re both shocked. She’s never one to cry, to let her emotions out quite so freely, and yet at this moment there’s nothing she can do to hold it back. She feels his arm sweep under her legs as he hoists her with ease, setting her down in the passenger seat and jogging back over to the driver’s side. He turns the seat warmer to max, and passes her a bag full of her favorites from the burger place down the road.
“Let’s get you fed, showered, and then we can hang out in front of the fire with whatever you want playing on the tv,” he says softly, his hand reaching out to caress the side of her face and wipe a stray tear with his thumb.
She offers him a watery smile and a sniffle as he speeds away from Linkon City. She finishes her food and curls against the window, watching as the lights streak past. It’s in record time that they’re pulling into the familiar surroundings of the base, and for some reason just the sight of it settles something inside of her.
Sylus is at the side of the car in an instant, opening the door, and holding a hand out for her.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, and get you some dry clothes.”
He leads her straight to his room, clothes are already laid out on the bed next to fresh towels.
“You didn’t really make Luke and Kieran fetch all this did you?” She asks with a small chuckle, fingers trailing over the soft change of clothes and fluffy towel.
“They offered when I explained it sounded like you might need an escape,” he stated with a shrug. She felt the familiar sting of tears, and swallowed hard to keep them at bay. When was the last time she had felt this seen and taken care of?
“Thank them for me?”
“I gave them the night off, but I will send them a quick message to relay your gratitude. Take however long you need, I’ll get the fire started so you can warm up,” his tone is gentle as he tells her his plan. Then with a gentle kiss on the top of her head, he leaves the room, true to his word about letting her have whatever time she needs.
She emerges from his room roughly a half hour later, feeling a lot more human and a lot more settled than she had been all day. Smiling softly to herself she finds him lounging on the sofa, the fire roaring as he reads through some folder of information. He’s quick to put it down when he hears the soft click of his door shutting. He shuffles closer to the arm rest, leaving plenty of space for you to curl up next to him. He throws his arm around your shoulder as you settle and drags you into his space until you’re practically laying on him.
“Feeling better sweetie?”
“I am. I don’t know how you always seem to know what I need, but I can’t thank you enough,” she tells him, nuzzling into his chest, enjoying the way his fingers toy with the damp ends of her hair. He seems to hum as her words settle over him.
“I am here to help, all you have to do is ask.”
“I’m learning that. Thank you for being my safe place today,” she mutters, flashing him a soft grin before leaning up to place the gentlest kiss on his lips. The grin she gets in return is downright boyish, and she finds her own smile widening in response. Who knew the widely feared leader of Onychinus would be such a softie. Er, well, her softie. Also who knew she would let who a few months ago was her enemy see her at her most vulnerable; and let him comfort her until the weight of the world was more bearable?
“You have me forever, if you want it.”
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads sylus#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace fluff#Sylus fluff#Sylus
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Secrets I keep | Part 13
Lando Norris x sister!reader
Max Fewtrell x norris!reader
Daniel Ricardo x Norris!reader
summary: You and Max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..
not proofread
warnings: mention of loosing virginity, no they’re not gonna fuck on the boat, ITS LANDOS. Smut will be marked. Reader is definitely a woman 😔☝️ For the first time, I wrote protected sex 😧
warnings in the smut part: choking, rough sex, virginity loss, use of good girl, fingering, it could be cringe for some idk
series masterlist | previous | next
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“Max..” Your voice was quiet and your eyes met his “We don’t have to, we’ll go up there and take a nap or anything” You nod, he smiles gently and presses a kiss to your nose “Tell me when I’m crossing lines okay? I’m not gonna loose you because i’m selfish or anything” His tone was quiet and gentle, matching yours.
“I will. I just..” You look down. Max senses that you’re struggling, grabs the forgotten ice cream, puts it back in the freezer and takes you back upstairs.
He pulls you on your previous spot, making you lay your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry” “For what?” “We didn’t..” And we don’t have to. I literally could not care less. If you don’t want it, I don’t want it either.”
You smile at him as his thumb caressed your cheek. You sigh and press your lips together, making Max tilt his head at you “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s fine” He shakes his head “No. Talk to me” You shake your head “It’s okay” “No it’s not. I can only help you when you tell me what’s wrong” “Nothings really wrong..” “But?”
You sigh and fidget with a bracelet Lando had gifted you years ago “It hasn’t changed..” Max looked confused “Changed? What?” “Me, uhm..” “Well, It doesn’t really matter if you do or not. I’m still right here” You chuckle and blush at his words.
“It’s no that” His hand rests over yours “Then what?” “I asked something of you, something you didn’t want.. well..” Max face twists from confusion to realisation “You’re..you never..?” You shake your head “I didn’t know we’d end up here but I never really found anyone I trusted enough”
He stares at you “And where is the problem?” “Maybe you didn’t want-“ “You listen to me now.” He sits up “I wanted you. I want you and I will want you until I take my last breath. That’s how much you consume me. I need you in every way that you allow me to have you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be open about this, but I promise you, It’s okay. And we don’t have to. Okay? That’s not why we’re here”
He holds your face in his hands “Okay?” You nod and gently meet his lips.
“We’ve been through enough to not hide something from the other. And we’ll probably go through hell a few times. Especially when the internet catches on, but that all won’t matter cause we’ve got each other.”
You smile and nod “Okay” Max smiles too “Okay. And now we should slowly go back to land. I’m starving” You chuckle “Ay ay, captain” You smirk “Dork” He ruffles through you hair “Hey!”
He quickly kissed the top of your head and heads to turn the boat around. You watch him leading you both back to the land. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought.
-
yn added to their story
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caption: I wish I knew what he tried there, but I have no clue @/ maxfewtrell
reply’s:
lando did he get stuck?
yn no he actually didn’t
lando ohhh, miracle
yn almost tho
alexandrasaintmleux when is your busy schedule free for me 😔
yn always, you just gotta say when you’re free 😔 I think we also need to talk about something that happened yesterday 👀
alexandrasaintmleux ohh 👀
user you and max are hanging out a lot
user you’re with max again??
-
yn and alexandrasaintmleux added to their story
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(yn cap: 🦋🤍 | alex cap: 💕🌸)
“But you guys didn’t sleep with each other?” “No I couldn’t.. I mean we talked about it afterwards. And he told me that it’s okay but it doesn’t feel okay”
She smiles at you “You’re finally where you wanted to be all along. It is okay. No matter what the media, what lando, and definitely daniel says. They don’t matter. Did he give you any reason not to trust him?”
“No?” “Then talk to him again. And if you aren’t ready, then that’s okay too.” “Everyone-“ “Shut up.” You blink at her “Stop comparing yourself, please. If I had the chance again, I would’ve rather thought about who I had my first time with. But I wanted to fit in, to loose my virginity. That’s stupid tho. Do it with someone you love, and not do it when everyone tells you to lose it.”
You nod “Alright, alright. Before you start writing poems here.” You chuckle and Alex laughs “I’m sure i’ll write some about the insufferable love you two have for each other” “Me and Max? Talk about yourself with the wannabe fashionista”
“That’s mean” She says but laughs “His pants are the worst! How would you let him go out like that?” You cringe “He likes it I guess. I’ll help him here and there but..he’s expressing himself..?”
“Don’t make me feel bad “ You chuckle but pick up your phone that lit up.
“Who is it?” “Max” She smirks at you “Shut up” “I didn’t say anything” You roll your eyes “What does he want?” “Asking if I was up for dinner tonight. But keegan and morgan would be joining if I was okay with it”
“But you wanted to talk to him” “I’m not gonna talk to him about him talking my virginity in public, Alex!” You whisper yell. She shrugs and you roll your eyes again.
“Maybe you won’t even have to talk” She smirks again “Alex” You whine “Do you trust him?” “Yes” “Do you want it to be him?” “Yes” She smiles as she sips her coffee.
“We’ll see what happens” “Just don’t panic. You’ll be okay.” you nod “Thank you alex” “You know I won’t judge” She winks.
-
maxfewtrell
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liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, angryginge13 and 625.836 others
maxfewtrell recently 🌺👀
user WHO IS THAT
lando I still beat you.
maxfewtrell 🙄🙄
angryginge13 not surprised. He was ogling his girlfriend the entire time
maxfewtrell I was not
lando you were.
user let us innnn
user he looks so happy omg
user this is so cute
user handplacement 🥹
-
You kicked off your heels in the hallway and made your way to the living room. You flopped down onto the couch and you hear a chuckle from behind you “Told you to wear other shoes.” “But others wouldn’t have fit to my outfit” You pout.
“Then you should’ve changed” “So you don’t like my outfit?” “Oh trust me, I love it” You blush a bit as he sits next to you, hand on your knee.
“How was the meet up with Alexandra? More gossip?” “Maybe” Max smiled and closed his eyes. His head rested on the back of the couch as you watched him.
“Everything okay?” He mumbled a few moments later and opened one eye to look at you “yeah, i’m okay” You smile warmly. He smiles, closes his eye and gently strokes your leg.
Either he hasn’t noticed, or he’s doing it on purpose but with each stoke, his hand itched higher and higher. When he got to your thigh, your breath hitched.
You saw max’s lips twitch upwards slightly. His thumb makes a soothing motion over your inner thigh, which isn’t soothing at all (Ykyk that feeling).
“Fewtrell.” He hums “What are you doing?” “I’m not doing anything” He turns his head and looks at you with an innocent smile “I know exactly what you’re doing.” “Then why are you asking?”
* Smut until the next mark *
“Don’t play with me, Fewtrell” “No? But I thought that’s exactly what you wanted” You glare at him “Maybe I don’t want it anymore” He chuckled “No? Then why is my hand trapped between your thighs?” He smirks. Fuck, you hadn’t even noticed that your thighs were pressed together.
You look up at him with a faint blush on your cheeks. His free hand cups your cheek “Tell me to stop and I will” You shake your head “Don’t” “No? You sure” You nod and he raised an eyebrow at you.
“Yes”
That’s all it took for max to let his restraint go. His lips crash into yours “Tell me if I make you uncomfortable or-“ “Just shut up” You breath out. He chuckled, pulled his hand from between your thighs and climbed over you.
His hands were next to your head, yours finding their place on his sides “Max” You say quietly as his lips gently glide over your jaw “Hm?” You raise your hands to his cheeks and pull him in for another kiss.
One hand slowly wanders down to the first button on his shirt, which he catches in his hand. You look at him puzzled “I’m not fucking you on your couch” “Why not?” “Not happening”
He gets up and throws you over his shoulder as if you weighted nothing “Max! What the fuck!” “You’ll live.” You chuckle as he makes his way to your bedroom.
He gently sets you down on the bed and doesn’t restrain your hands from opening his shirt this time. He watched every move of your hands and looks right into your eyes as you push the dress shirt off him.
He lets it fall to the floor as he leans over you again, his lips almost touching yours “Still okay?” “yes” You lean up the last bit to kiss him, making him smile into the kiss.
One of his hands trace your back “Wanna keep it on or can I..” Max eyes you for a moment, keeping alert for any possible discomfort. You breath for a moment “It’s okay” You say quietly.
He smiles and gently opens your dress. It falls of your shoulders as he pulls you up by your hands and strips you off the dress completely.
His eyes roam your body, but instead of being embarrassed, it’s sends a warm sensation through your body.
“Got your wish after all, huh?” He chuckled “Shut up and hurry up” “Patience baby. Everything at its time” You roll your eyes but yelp as Max pushes you back on the bed.
“Up” He says and you move more upwards on the bed as he towers over you. His lips find your jaw once again while one of his hands roams your form.
He trails down your body, keeping eye contact. “Max, please. Don’t tease” “I’m not teasing, i’m enjoying” His hands slide up your sides and stop at your bra “Can I take it off?” You nod and Max opens your bra and throws it off the bed.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He murmured against your skin. His hands gently knead your tits and smirks as you let out a gasp.
He comes up to your ear, gently biting under it, earning a muffled moan “Has anyone ever touched you, baby?” You shake your head, breathless “No? Oh fuck” He chuckled and let his head fall forward for a moment.
Max composed himself again as his hands travel down to the last piece of clothing that’s covering you. He looks at you and you nod. He raised an eyebrow “Yes, max for fucks sake. Stop asking and do something, please”
He smirked and pulled down your underwear, leaving you bare in front of him. You tug at his pants “No, not yet” He gently guides your hand above your head “This is about you, not me” You whine “You can have me later, let me make my stupid decision up, hmm?”
He gently glides two fingers through your folds. You bite your lip to keep your moans quiet, but Max wasn’t having any of it.
“Let me hear you, otherwise I’ll stop” He pulls his hand away and you buckle your hips upwards, which was quickly shut down by max shoving and holding your hips down.
His fingers find your clit and circle it slowly. One of your hands grabs max’s arm. He smiles and speeds up slowly. Your breathing was already unsteady but it wasn’t enough “Max, please” “Use your words. What do you want?”
You blush and clench your jaw “I’m not a mind reader, you gotta tell me” “Your fingers” “oh yeah?” You nod eagerly “Well, who am I to deny you that” He slowly inserts one of his fingers and watches your face for any discomfort.
When he doesn’t find any, he curves his finger upwards. You moan and thighten your grip on his arm “More, please Max” He inserts another finger into you and picks up the pace.
He keeps his thumb on your clit, kissing your thighs in the process. You moan out his name, nothing else than him filling your mind.
“What a good girl” Max raised an eyebrow as you clenched around his fingers “Oh? You like when I call you that?” You blush and hide your face in your hands.
“Don’t hide yourself, come on Baby” He peels your hands away “Eyes on me. You wanna cum on my fingers?” You nod “Yeah? You think you can handle my cock too?” You nod eagerly “Yes, I can”
Max smirks, picking up the speed again and you whine “Aw, are you sensitive?” You push your head backwards into the pillow.
The squelch of the movement inside of you is the only noise filling the room for a moment, making you fist the blanket and max’s arm.
“So good- Max! ‘m close” “Yeah? I’ve got you, cum all over my fingers. Need it” He says and bites the inside your thigh.
The pain pushes you over the edge, your nails digging into Max’s arm.
He slowed down his pace, letting you ride out your high. He pulls out and wipes his fingers on his pants, his free hand gently stroking your abdomen.
You look at him, catching your breath, hair sticking to your forehead. Max chuckled “If you look this fucked out on my fingers, I wonder what my cock does to to you”
You bite your lip and reach out to him, fingers hooking into his belt. Max raised his eyebrows at you but smirks “Go ahead” He nods and you unbuckle his belt. He moves backwards on the bed to stand back up and take his pants off.
“You’re still clothed” You say, sitting on your knees now, tilting your head and pointing at his boxers. Max chuckled “Impatient, are we?” He smirks but you cross your arms “Alright, alright” He chuckled, taking off his underwear too and crawling back above you, pushing you back on your back.
You hold the eye contact but flicker to his lips. His hands reached for the nightstand and takes something off it. “You wanna do it?” You look at the condom. Where the hell did that thing come from and when did he even place it there?
But your thoughts were interrupted when max kissed your jaw “Hm?” “I wanna do it” You whisper “Alright then” He holds the pack up to your mouth and you gently grab it with your teeth, to not damage anything.
You both sit back up, and you rip open the package. You place it on his cock and out of the corner of your eye you can see his hands clenching, holding back from touching you. You smirks and roll the condom down.
Max squeezed his eyes shut and mumbled a quiet ‘fuck’ You keep moving your hand up and down his cock “Sweetheart, no- oh fuck” You thighten your grip slightly, making Max gasp.
“That’s not what- oh” His breath quickens “I’m just making sure it’s on properly” You smile innocently, and before you can say anything else, his hand grips your throat “You’re a minx. I’d be careful if I was you” “Oh yeah? What’re you gonna do?”
He smirks slowly and clenched his jaw “Nothing today. This is about you, but don’t think I’ll forget you being a little brat.”
You raise your eyebrows “Me? I would never” “You’ve never and you still..” Max cuts himself off “I forgot, you read” You smile “Not so innocent, are you baby?” He smiles and pulls you in by your throat.
His lips press against yours and he pulls away again, making you try and chase him, which doesn’t work with his hand around your throat.
He gently pushes you back down and presses gentle kisses around your neck, keeping your hips still with his hands.
“Max, please” He raised an eyebrow “Stop teasing. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know what I want. Please, I thought you wanted to make it up to me? “ You whine, making him press his lips together, nodding “I know, I know sweetheart. You’ll get what you want”
He lines himself up with you but looks up first “Tell me to go slower or stop, okay? You got the control on the pace” You nod, hand wrapping around his bicep.
He slowly pushes in, making you gasp. Your nails dig into his arm, making him hiss. Your scrunch your eyebrows together “Wait-fuck. A moment, please” Max stops immediately and looks up “You okay?” You nod “Just need a moment”
He nods and waits for your cue to move again. Your mouth opens in a soundless moan, which makes Max wrap his hand around your throat once again “Come on, don’t go shy on me now, Pretty girl. Let me hear you” You try to stop the restrain on your moans and Max stills inside you, once he’s in by the hilt.
“You tell me when to move, okay?” You nod, pulling him down for a kiss, your fingers tangling into his hair.
“Okay, you can move” He slowly pulls out and trusts back in. Your eyes widen as he continues the movement “Holy- Max” He chuckles and leans his head next to your ear, making you listen to his breathing.
“How are you feeling?” He says, quickly pecking your cheek “Good” “Yeah? Feels good?” You nod, eyes occasionally rolling into the back of your head.
“Told you we should’ve done this earlier- fuck” You grad the arm that is wrapped around your throat “Yeah? Bet you would’ve loved to be fucked everywhere, hm? Having to keep quiet if I actually fucked you in my drivers room, your own room or mine? Or on the italy vacation?”
“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about” You get out between moans “No? Running around in those dresses, my god. And bending over every time I was around you? Total accident i’m sure” He growls, thightening his hold on your throat.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head once again at his action “you’re fucking filthy, aren’t you? If you like me chocking you, what else is it I will find when I fuck you, hm?” He smirks as you blush “Always the ones you thought were innocent” He chuckled as you silenced him with a kiss.
“Please, faster” Max gladly listens, picking up his pace and reaching down to play with your clit “Max- Oh god”
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this to you. I don’t know how I kept away from you, but I won’t ever be able to ever again” Max’s breath gets heavier and his head hangs down.
“Harder” “Baby im already-“ “You’re not gonna break me” He lets out a breathless laugh “Jesus, you’re gonna be the death of me” He obliged either way and soon you could feel the pleasure creeping up on you.
Max felt your repeatedly clenching around him as his thrusts don’t falter “Are you close? Can feel you squeezing me so- oh my- fucking tight” You nod “Yeah? Wanna come on my cock? Be a good girl?” “Yeah, wanna be good- fuck”
He smirks at the effect he has on you, but his expression quickly turns into concern as tears roll down your cheeks and he starts to slow down “Hey-hey are you okay?” “Don’t stop, please max. Fuck, keep going”
It was then he realised you were crying because it just felt good “Not hurting, please I’m so close” He nods and picks up his pace again.
This time he picks up your hips a bit which earns him a loud moan “Oh- right there, max” He chuckled but continued pounding into you, as his own orgasm crept up on him.
“Yeah? Finally found it” He says more to himself than you but tries to continually hitting the spot, over and over again.
“Gonna cum, max. Don’t stop, don’t-“ “I won’t, let go baby. I got you, be a good girl” You pulled him down into a heated kiss as white hot please consumed every fibre of your body, your other hand gripping his shoulder, marking another part of him.
Your orgasm triggered his own and his hands grip your hips, probably bruising them slightly in the process.
His forehead rests on yours as you slowly come down from your high. Max slowly pulls out, which earns him a quiet hiss of you.
“Sorry” he mumbled and pulled the condom off to throw it in the trash.
* smut end * holy cow that was long 😭 Anyway.
“You want a bath or just lay here” Max whispered as he cuddled up to you “Just a moment. But a bath sounds nice too” “I’ll quickly turn on the water and be right back” You nod with closed eyes.
A few moments later you hear the water running and Max is back in the room, now in sweatpants “Why are you wearing those?” “Do you know how weird it feels to walk around naked?” He laughs and crawls back to you, pulling you onto his chest “Don’t fall asleep on me now. We still gotta clean you up”
“How can I not when you brush through my hair like that and cuddle me” You mumble “To bad, sweetheart. Still gonna have the bath” You don’t move and max laughs “Do I have to carry you?” “Mhm”
He chuckled again but picks you up “Let’s go then” You keep your eyes closed, leaning on his shoulder. “Can you open the door? My hands are quite occupied”
You smile and open the door. The warmth of the room immediately makes you feel even sleepier. He sets you down for a moment and closes the door.
“Come on, hop hop in there” “Don’t rush me” You say and hold a hand out “Yeah yeah” He picks you back up and you squeal “Max!” He slowly sets you down in the bathtub. He sits beside the tub and holds your hand, head resting on the side and looking at you.
“You’re staring.” “I know. But do you really care?” “No” You smile and look at him. His smile widens “Good.” He sits up properly to kiss you. Your hand draws shapes on his shoulder “Oh” “Hm?”
You chuckle “Did I do that?” You point to the countless scratches on his arms and shoulders “I think you did, yeah” He laughs “Even down here!” He looks at the lower part of his arm “How am I supposed to hide that?”
“Hoodie?” He looks at you deadpan “Hoodie? It’s like.. super hot outside?” “Then you’ll be smoking hot” He chuckled “You’re crazy” “Yet you’re still sitting here” Max nods “Yeah, somehow” You roll your eyes and lay back down.
comfortable silence fills the room. Max’s hand gently caressed your face as you calm down. You were right were you wanted to be, without any disturbance..right?
-
Holy shit. It’s been a while since I wrote smut, so go easy on me. Part 14 is still coming out tomorrow, no worries about that 🤭
#formula one imagine#lando norris x sister!reader#max fewtrell imagine#max fewtrell x you#norris!reader#daniel riccardo x reader#max verstappen x reader#daniel ricciardo imagine#max fewtrell smut
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hey so can I have Kurt x reader where neither has said I love you yet and they’re just spending time together, enjoying each other’s company and s/o actually springs on him “I love you” in german? He never taught s/o that.
~Sweet How The Words Slip~
Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: not a single one this is so cute
Genre: fluff
Summary: As it turns out, you're in love with your boyfriend, and now you have to tell him.
A/N: Thank you for each and every one of your requests <3
***
Jean and Storm are sitting on your bed while you clean your bedroom. You'd asked them to sit with you so you could actually get some stuff done.
"We're happy to be here while you do your chores or whatever but you have to spill." Jean says.
"Spill what?" You ask.
"I think she's talking about you and Wagner." Storm chuckles.
"Of course I am. They spend so much time together I'm surprised he's not hiding in her closet right now. I was starting to think we'd have to surgically remove him to ever get her alone again." Jean says and even though you're not looking at your you can feel her eyes roll.
"Surgically remove him?" You scoff out a laugh as you toss an old dress you never wear hiding in the back of your closet.
"Well yeah he never leaves you alone." She says.
"Alright don't talk about him like a pest he's- welcome. He 'never leaves me alone' because I don't want him to. I enjoy being around him as much as I assume he enjoys being around me." You shrug.
"Ah the honeymoon phase. Everything is sweet and perfect and the world revolves around nothing but your love." Storm teases.
"I didn't say any of that?" You frown.
"Everything isn't sweet and perfect?" She asks flatly.
"Well not perfect! Kurt is incredibly sweet so that's not really relationship specific but we're not perfect!"
"Girl who are you tryna fool?" Storm scoffs.
"It's fine if things are perfect. You're still so fresh I find it hard to believe you're already fighting." Jean says.
"We're not fighting." You shake your head.
"Of course you're not. He's obsessed with you." Storm says.
"Obsessed is a stretch I feel like." You say.
"It's not. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky." Jean smiles.
"You guys are being ridiculous."
"So you're telling me he's not already planning the rest of your lives together?" Storm asks.
"Don't... get ahead of yourself Storm we've only been partners for a few months now." You say.
"We know it's on the horizon." Storm says.
"Yeah he's already made it clear how head over heels in love with you he is." Jean says.
"Girl what are you talking about?" You shake your head.
"What?" Her eyes widen. Even Storm shifts, sitting up in her surprise.
"What?" You ask
"The guy's been into you almost as long as he's been an X-man and you're telling us he hasn't said 'I love you' yet?" Jean gasps.
"Why are you freaking out? We haven't been seeing each other that long."
"It took him less than 6 weeks to make you his girlfriend after he finally asked you out, he had a crush on you for years before that and you don't think it's I dunno surprising that he's not said 'I love you' already?" Jean asks.
"No, I don't find it surprising. He's probably trying not to freak me out."
"What?" Storm asks.
"I dunno I'm sure he's getting advice from Logan or Scott and they probably told him it'd be unhinged to say I love you in the first 30 days of a relationship and now he's paranoid about saying it too soon. What if I don't say it back?"
"Would you?" Jean asks.
"Would I what?" You ask.
"If Kurt came in here and said 'I love you' would you say it back?" She clarifies.
"Yeah I think I would." You nod.
"You think?" Storm asks.
"Well I've never really vocalized it, but since you've asked and I'm actually considering it saying it back feels right."
"You gonna let him know that?" She chuckles.
"Sure! At some point, but it's not like he doesn't already know I care about him." You shrug.
"But that's not always the same thing." Jean shakes her head.
"What?" You frown.
"It's very squares rectangles. Of course you care about the people you love but you can care about people without loving them too. Especially as a superhero, you care about most people, but you don't love all of them. You love him, and caring about him is nice but he'd be foolish to assume that it implies the other thing here." Storm says.
"You have to tell him how you feel, it's important that he knows how deeply you feel because I'm sure he's probably terrified he likes you more than you like him and that's-"
"Okay Jean stop. I get your point. I'll tell him that I love him just- chill out."
"Chill out?! You just realized you love your boyfriend and you weren't even going to tell him."
"Okay well in my defense if we hadn't had this conversation I probably wouldn't have had that realization today so- there'd be nothing to tell for a while maybe." You say.
"But now there is something to tell!"
"I know, I know! I'm gonna tell him, calm down."
"You better or else."
"I get it, you're invested, no need to threaten me." You scoff.
There's a knock on your door that pulls all of your attention to it.
"Come in!" You say.
"Hello liebling- oh are you busy? I didn't know Storm and Jean were here." Kurt smiles peaking his head through your door.
"Not busy! I was just cleaning and the girls are here to help me stay on task." You smile at him.
"Are we still on for movie night later?" Kurt asks.
"Of course. Did you pick a film yet?"
"I did. I hope you like the choice."
"I will. Anything's great if we're watching it together." You say.
"Agreed. Snacks?"
"I'm on it. See you in a few hours."
"Can't wait." Kurt says and slips back out.
"Wow that was so freaking cute!" Jean gushes.
"Oh man I almost said it just then." You gasp.
"What?" Storm asks.
"Just then, before he left? I wanted to say 'I love you', had to catch myself."
"Awwwww! Ugh I'm so jealous." Jean sighs.
"Wow, you really are just so into each other." Storm muses.
"Yeah, I guess."
"It's cute, don't get all shy now." Storm smiles.
"I will kick y'all out if you don't quit it."
"Fine, fine. We'll stop." Jean throws her hands up in surrender.
"Thank you. Sheesh." You shake your head.
You spend another couple of hours on your chores, talking about any and everything, besides your relationship with Kurt. Eventually though, you do need to meet him for movie night so you shoo your friends out.
Something you've been doing passively and in secret is learning German. When Kurt talks to himself it's always in German and while he's never expressed that he struggles with English, he's clearly more comfortable in the former. You figure you could kill two birds with one stone here, confess your love for him and surprise him with a bit of your new skill.
The movie Kurt picked is one you've seen before, but he seemed so excited to see it that you wouldn't tell him that. Plus you like the movie, so you don't mind watching it again. You're nearing the end of the film and part of you is getting a bit nervous. You told yourself you'd confess tonight because you can't imagine holding onto this information. I mean, you knew for 5 minutes and you almost told him. You are not equipped to keep this a secret from him.
"Wow- that was such a good movie! Did you enjoy it?" Kurt asks looking at you.
"It's a great movie. I really liked it." You nod.
"We should watch another. Do you have one that you'd like to watch? Or rewatch maybe?"
"Kurt?"
"Yes liebling?" Kurt's eyes widen, he's giving you his full attention. You bring a hand up to his face, cupping his cheek as you look at him just as intensely as he's looking at you.
"Ich liebe dich." You say. "You love me?" He whispers. "I do." You nod, smiling at him softly. Kurt jolts back, blinking wildly. "Wait sorry I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say that in-"
"Ich liebe dich." You repeat. Kurt lets out a soft sound as the disbelief on his face melts into a smile. His eyes are so gentle, so full of emotion that they're glistening, it's almost cartoonish and under different circumstances you might've giggled.
"You- you learned to say it in German?" Kurt sounds so light, just barely above a whisper.
"Ich unterrichte es selbst." You say just as softly back. You're teaching yourself. That's what you told him.
"I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt smiles.
"I wanted to surprise you." You tell him.
"Oh I'm surprised alright." He chuckles.
"I love you." You say grinning.
"I love you too." He says back and you gasp.
"You do?" You were fully prepared to not hear it back tonight.
"Of course, more than anything."
"I'm really happy." You practically sigh.
"As am I." Kurt wraps his arms around you tightly and there's literally nowhere else you'd rather be than here.
***
#marvel#marvel fanfiction#xmen#xmen nightcrawler#nightcrawler fluff#nightcrawler x reader#nightcrawler#kurt wagner x reader#kurt wagner
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February 7 - Cauldron February 8 - Breath/Breathe @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 1,193
“I had plans tonight,” Regulus grumbles, scrubbing at the table, “But then you had to go on and do your thing, talking to my stupid brother instead of paying attention to what you were doing and you fucking blew up the potion.”
James, as much as they’ve been trying to tune out Regulus’ anger, doesn’t have much of a choice. It’s the only other thing that they can hear other than the horrid sound of the harsh scrubber rubbing against the rough side of the cauldron they’re leaning into, practically folded in half at the waist to scrub the grime off the bottom of it. But they’re already feeling guilty enough about it, and this is just making it worse.
“I’m sorry,” they mutter, low. They’re not even sure Regulus can hear it, but with the way that their faint voice echoes in the cauldron, there’s a possibility.
They know that he’s heard it when he suddenly stops his angered ranting, and there’s silence other than the abhorrent sounds of cleaning and scrubbing. They take in a deep breath and push their torse out of the cauldron. They don’t turn to look at him, instead just walking to the bucket and cleaning off their scraper sponge, “I wasn’t trying to blow it up. I was-” they shake their head, “I know that you put me on reading and stirring because it’s the ‘only thing that I can do right’ but I can’t even do reading right. That’s why I liked to be paired up with Remus because he can read and instruct me in a way that’s clear to me, but their new relationship has Sirius hogging him as a potions partner.” They swallow thickly, walking back to the cauldron but not climbing inside of it quite yet. Instead they take to scrubbing at the lip of it.
They’re quiet for a moment, “It’s just that… sometimes when I’m reading the words get all wiggly and run together and suddenly they stop making any sense and it hurts my eyes and my head. So I’ll usually ask Remus to read for me. That’s-” they finally chance a glance up at Regulus, he’s looking back at them, “that’s what happened. And you were busy chopping the leaves just right and I knew that you would just get after me for asking for clarification so I turned to Remus. But Remus was distracted keeping Sirius from blowing up their own potions and-” they take a deep breath, realising that they had been forgetting to take in full breaths, “I don’t- I don’t know what happened but I’m sorry and I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Potter,” Regulus says, his own voice now quiet and much softer than it was before. Yet it’s intentional, “Breathe.” He puts his own rag down on the table and takes a couple steps towards them, “I get it, you don’t have to try and over-explain yourself. I-” he swallows, James can’t take their eyes off of him now that he’s speaking directly to him and not just grumbling to himself. He takes another step closer, “I’m so- I should’ve asked for what you wanted to do instead of just putting you into a role. I don’t- I clearly didn’t understand how you best operate and so all of this was partially my fault.”
James shakes their head, taking that for the apology that it is, “It’s fine. I should’ve said something about it earlier. Or pushes that I be partnered with Remus because I know that it’s better. I can handle SIius’ pouting for a couple hours.”
“Don’t pretend like I’m not at fault for this.” Regulus shakes his head, “I didn’t give you a voice or listen to you and I made myself unapproachable. Then I’ev just been shitting on you…” he looks around at the classroom, “We’re close to being done, you can leave early and I’ll finish up and cover for you if Slughorn comes back.”
James looks at him alarmed, “No, I’m not leaving. You don’t have to do that for me. Like you said, we’re almost done and you said that you had plans. Maybe if we finish up faster than you can still get to them.” And with that, they’re turning back around and once again leaning over the cauldron. It’s one of the last ones that they need to do and they know that their back is going to kill them for this.
Regulus is quiet for a while, not moving, before he finally goes back to the table he was cleaning and resumes his work. He huffs, “You’re far too nice for your own good, do you know?”
James laughs weakly, “A lot of people say that, but I’m not really. I’m nice to people that I care about or want to like me, but I’m- I can be a dick to people who I don’t want around me, which is actually a lot of people.”
“If you say so,” Regulus says, James isn’t shocked, not a lot of people believe them unless they actually see it, “But you’re too nice after everything I’ve said and done to you.”
They shrug with one shoulder, even if Regulus can’t see it, “You grew up in a bad home and you only know how to be mean to protect yourself. Believe it or not, Sirius treated us really shitty for the first several months of us living together before we finally got it in his head that we weren’t going to take his bullshit and that we didn’t deserve being treated like that. I figure you’re the same way and I’ve gone through it once, I can do it again. I also know that I’ve been quick with you before so we’re even.” Then they mutter, low enough that they hope Regulus can’t hear it, “Besides, I like it when you’re mean to me.”
“What was that last part?”
“Nothing.” James shakes their head.
Neither of them talk for the rest of the detention period. But when James is telling Regulus that if he hurries he might still be able to get to his plans, that it’s not too late, Regulus shakes his head and says that he’s going to walk James up to the Gryffindor Tower as sort of a ‘make up’. James insists that they don’t need one, but Regulus insists.
So they head up to the Gryffindor Tower and Regulus manages to grind out an apology to James when they get to the Fat Lady’s portrait. Then he turns on his heels and storms away before they can really process what’s just happened. James stands in the corridor for a moment before finally turning and getting let in, not without a pointed look from the Fat Lady.
The others are waiting in the common room for James, and Sirius immediately stands up, “How was it? I hope Reggie wasn’t too hard on you.”
Remus nods, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t be your partner this time.”
“Mhm, I’ll never hog him again.”
James laughs softly, thinking back on the past hour, “It’s- it was n’t that bad guys, I promise.”
#marauders#james potter#dead gay wizards#regulus black#james x regulus#starchaser#jegulus#sunseeker#sirius black#remus lupin#nonbinary james potter#microfics#jeggyverse microfic
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