#Now Dazai gets to be an asshole to TWO partners at the same time

[shininas-ideals]

Sigma is very much OK and gets adopted by joins the ADA canon

[cincincinnanom]

Okay so I found this au by @originalartblog and like now I have to make an au based on this bc it's so intriguing.

So like Chuuya leaves when he's 16, just he's younger he just turned sixteen, Dazai is still fifteen and he's heart broken after Chuuya leaves. Just heartbroken. He loved Chuuya, more than anything, Chuuya tye only reason he's still alive leaves him for dead.

And Mori is furious, Chuuya is one of his best assets, and who does he takeit out on? Dazai the person who was essentially the closest to Chuuya.

And guess who's just joined the mafia? Ryunosuke and Gin Akutagawa. They are the only two people Dazai is close to right now. But the worst happens and Gin is killed on a mission.

Ryunosuke is left with only one person he's close to; Dazai. Their both alone, scared and young. Their children. They cling to each other. They become so much more closer. The relationship never becomes abusive. They need each other. Dazai meets Oda and they are friends.

Everything happens the same but Dazai never commands anyone, he the second hand yo the mafia, he's Mori’s best man, he's called not the demon prodigy, he's called the demon's poltergeist. He's the most feared member of the mafia. Ryunosuke a close second.

Dazai’s fighting style becomes less defensive in nature because he doesn't have chuuya at his back. Him and Ryunosuke are one in the same.

So when Oda dies, Dazai takes Ryunosuke with him. Or rather Ryunosuke cokes with Dazai. Dazai doesn't make Ryunosuke come with him, he guve him the choice and given the choice Ryunosuke comes too. They go to the ADA together.

Entrance exam is mostly the same but it's also happening with Ryunosuke's at the same time, with Yosano. They both pass.

Chuuya and Ranpo are away, their partners. Dazai gets jointed in as Kunikida's partner. Ryunosuke is by himself because everyone else is a bit scared of him. He's the youngest to join the ada.

Everyone start to notice how good Ryunosuke and Dazai are when paired together on offensive and defensive fights. So while in cases that don't have fights Kunikida and Dazai are paired in ones with fights Dazai and Ryunosuke work together.

Kunikida and Chuuya are paired together during fights as well.

Dazai and Chuuya don't see each other for s month after Daz and Ryu join.

When they do its because of Kunikida. The whiplash Chuuya goes through is massive, Dazai just stands there and says,

"Thanks a lot asshole, be happy I'm not dead after you left me." Before he leaves for the day. That's all I have so far, other than, Chuuya is Atsushi's mentor not Dazai. So atsushi and Ryunosuke are rivals in a proper sense.

[fortunately-pancakes]

Hello! I’m Pancake and I write fanfic for Bungo Stray Dogs (Soukoku) and Critical Role (Shadowgast + Verin)

My ao3 is fortunatelypancakes

My current wips:

he was a sk8er boi, he said annoy you l8r boi

Rated: M

Chapters: 17/?; word count: 90.7k

Pairing: Chuuya/Dazai

Skater boy Chuuya has been getting by with sleeping on floors and stealing necessities since he was seven years old and ran away from that rather mysterious, disturbing, forgotten past of his. But his life is turned upside down upon meeting a weird, lonely boy: his friendships unravel; he moves in with Dazai and his guardian Mori; and he’s now got one summer left before he’s thrust into school for the very first time. Only blasting pop punk music will save him.

Meanwhile, Dazai’s suicidal plans have been interrupted by a new toy—dog, boy, whatever—to play with. If only he could stop being an asshole and figure out what these strange new emotions mean.

And then why don’t either of them feel like real human teenagers?

Chuuya the Vampire Slayer

Rated: M

Chapters: 1/?; word count: 4.6k

Pairing: Chuuya/Dazai

Since becoming the Slayer at age 15, Chuuya has been through a lot of shit. Now, though, he’s settled down as much as someone like him can—he’s got friends, a cat, and a job at Fukuzawa’s bookstore.

But this relative peace could never last.

A group of wealthy vampires have come searching for a special book, threatening everything Chuuya cares for. In order to protect his found family and home, he’s going to have to go against his very nature to team up with a vampire named Dazai.

The Savior of the Damned

Rated: M

Chapters: 7/?; word count: 28k

Pairings: Verin/male OC, Essek/Caleb

Taskhand Verin Thelyss will do anything to close the planar rift allowing Abyssal demons access to Bazzoxan. He’s desperate to save his people from the threat, and, though he won’t admit it, desperate to get a much deserved break.

So if it comes down to fucking a demon, he will fuck that demon.

But when said demon divulges information about his long lost father, he enlists the help of his brother, Essek, to journey into the Abyss for answers and, hopefully, solutions. At the same time, this messy thing between him and his demon guide seems determined to develop into something more—if it doesn’t kill him first.

And here’s a few of my finished fics:

birthday party in august, but you were born 19th of june

Rated: M

One-shot; word count: 17k

Pairing: Chuuya/Dazai

It’s been five years since Chuuya and Dazai published their novel, Soukoku, four since they stopped being writing partners, and two since Chuuya realized he’s in love with said ex-writing partner. Five months since they were contacted about making a Soukoku movie, four since they met in person for the first time after the split, and two since he inadvertently ruined Dazai’s birthday and made an even bigger ass of himself than normal.

But now Chuuya is determined to make Dazai his and accepts help from an unlikely ally.

Apocalypse.

Rated: M

Chapters: 6/6; word count: 19k

Pairing: Essek/Caleb

As one of the Empire’s deep undercover Volstrucker, Caleb Widogast warms the beds of Taskhands, Lens secretaries, and wives of government officials to get any advantage over the Dynasty he can. But when he needs more information than the scientist informant Essek Thelyss is giving him, he finds his usual charms don’t cut it. A chance meeting in a bookstore offers him a different way in.

Nascent

Rated: T

One-shot; word count: 4.4k

Pairing: Essek/Caleb

After a long month of no contact, an injured Essek finds the Mighty Nein in Eiselcross. Curiously, in a magical tower limited purely by Caleb's imagination, there is only one bed. (Well, seven, technically.)

I’m happy to chat so don’t be shy!

[selfnss]

fingers trace over the faint outline of runes that have burned into chuuya's forearm. " what does it feel like? " dazai asks softly. what does he force chuuya to do to himself?

the silence is everything chuuya had hoped it would be. the safety from twisting and writhing static that presses against the inside of his skull over and over again as it sharpens everything he is and everything he knows. it chips away at him, day and night. chuuya thought he'd get used to it by now - like it's nothing but white noise. but the only time he's truly free of the god's enraged screams is when he's blind to the world and burning up from the inside out. the only time he feels like himself is when he's hanging in the air above everything else, eyes blank and mind tucked away elsewhere beneath the raging inferno woven into his flesh.

but, that silence comes with another noise - just as loud as the static before it but this is far more... grounded. far more human, he supposes. dazai's heart beat is steady beneath his ear where chuuya lay pressed against his partner's chest, eyes half lidded as he lets the familiar pulse permeate him and soothe the ragged edges that make up most of the executive's being.

then, there's a voice. soft and barely there but one that chuuya could hear over the world ending, if he had to. one that chuuya has heard time and time again as it takes hold and pulls him from beneath the surface of rage and incoherent violence incarnate. mismatched gaze focuses to find fingertips tracing puckered flesh sat just in the crook of his elbow and only then does the question fully process in chuuya's glaringly peaceful mind.

he could sugar-coat it, like every other time chuuya's been asked something similar by someone else unable to give him this peace and quiet. someone else unable to earn the bone-deep trust that he has for his partner. but then, dazai would know he's avoiding the truth - the asshole would know it without even having to think about it... and, well, chuuya doesn't want to lie to him of all people. osamu deserves that much. so, he shifts, pressing himself in closer to his partner's flank and feigning a sigh of disdain - as if he thinks dazai would believe it.

"like i'm fallin' but i never hit the ground. like i'm weightless but i can't stop risin' away from everythin'. it feels like every bone in my body's breakin' and then mendin' all at the same time, over and over again." he's not sure this helps. probably not, with the analytical way dazai stores everything he learns. still, chuuya lifts his head a little to rest his jaw against his partner's sternum - mind swimming as he tries to put the unthinkable into words. "like i'm drowning and burning alive all at once. like i'm suffocating but i don't need to breathe in the first place. it feels like anger and anguish all rolled into one."

finally, chuuya lifts himself up enough that he can roll over, head resting 'gainst dazai's stomach as he watches those familiar auburn eyes and feels familiar fingers trace his skin. the only person who can show him what humanity is. the only person who can give chuuya his own humanity back. he wonders if dazai knows how dangerous that is. if dazai knows just what chuuya would do for him if he just asked.

"feels like i want saving and ending in the same breath. every part've me tearing at the seams and being pulled apart but also the most... whole i can remember. the most natural state fer somethin' like me." brow furrows and mismatched hues close tight. they're safe here. just the two of them. "feels like everything at once and then nothing at all. nothing but you."

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

||An Officer's Corruption part Thirty-Nine||

Hello my dears, guess who is back! I know, it's been a long time since I wrote the next part but lets see if we can fix that. But I hope you like.

If you wish to see how or where everything is going, you can follow up on the chapters down below.

||Chapters so far|| 1-30||((Click here))

||Chapters so far|| 31-37 ((Click here))

||OVA Chapters 1-7|| ((Written by my amazing friend demon mun and me)) (Click here))

Part Thirty Eight

((Your reading part Thirty Nine right now))

||Drabble Summary||

After finding out more of the drug given to Yuuka, Ophelia speaks with some other doctors in hopes of finding a way to help her. Meanwhile, someone has spoken with the principle and teacher regarding Yuuka's condition. More things will be happening in the prisons and at the school in japan. Though, that goes with some guests showing up there too. Who could be the guests? Want to know what? Read to find out.

||Warning||

~drug use is spoken of in this

~Slight violence will be seen in this

~Tw: Throwing up and blood will be present in this chapter

~Dark theme is heavy in this part

~Gun use might or will be seen in this part. You were warned. Heavy anguish/drama is also present in this

||Guests in Drabble||

Alexandria "Ophelia" Dryad, Jung-hoon Kouki Seon (Oblivion's father) and anyone else mention belongs to my amazing Rp partner @demon-blood-youths while Cobin a.k.a the horror of the machines belong to and is from @lovelyxhorrors

Arnold Wayne Hexford, Swan Halls, Yuuka Nakano, Qiao and Sakura Nakano(Yuu's parents) and others mentioned are my OC's and belong to me. While junichiro tanizaki and others spoken of comes from the anime BSD but also me due to rping as them.

((Note: Their will be grammar mistakes and errors in this drabble as others have this warning. But like I state before, this is written for fun. So I hope you like it and my friend too. I hope you Enjoy.))

"Thank you for telling me what you know so far. I think this will help me in the long run with this investigation." Oblivion was done with the talk but she got more information and maybe she can figure out a plan or something to track the mixing agent of this item. However, the Akutagawa twins were seeing another officer show up while both Jason and Sid would take them back to their cells.

"You are welcome. I hope you find the assholes that did this to the inmate your watching after...the same for getting them back for getting us in trouble." Ryunosuke sighed but he hopes they pay for this. Oblivion said nothing with a nod, seeing the two siblings being led out from the room.

Now it was Dazai and Oblivion there.

"Well, seems you got a trail now, little Tae. Though, I will see if I can get more looking around for you in case something else is found. That way, we can be close to what your looking for." he said.

"Thanks uncle. I just want to be able to do what I can and head back....." she said.

"Let me guess; your charge is getting worse I take it?" How did he know? Maybe he could tell just how she looked and reacted. Though, he also knew so many that went through the same issue back then. For now, he would hope for the best. "Come on, I guess if you wish you can give some information to your fellow officers in case they found something else." he said patting her shoulder but Tae only nods ready to head out to do that. She wonders if Sai and Terry found anything else about this. For now, only time will tell.

~~~~~In the hallways~~~~~

Sid was leading the two back to their cells but saw Matt there waiting for them. "Matt?"

"Hey Sid. Just came to take Ryu to meet his lawyer. Their waiting for him in the main room down the hall." he jabs a thumb over his left shoulder to a door while Sid remembers they were going to visit them. Guess they came a bit early.

"Very well..Mr. Akutagawa, Officer Matt will take you to the room to meet with your lawyers. Miss Akutagawa please follow Jason to your cell." Sid said as the two look at one another before Ryu follows Matt to the room while Jason takes her back to her cell. Seeing this, Sid pushes her glasses up and goes to check on Chuya to see if he was alright.

~~~~~~Meanwhile back at T Prison~~~~~~~~

"Hey Kali! You never told us this was your charge!" Kali tense hearing a familiar voice looking to see Ink and Jinx there waiving happily to her. She didn't respond to the two but only sighed.

"Yeah, because you two are too nosy for your own good!" she said with arms crossed.

"But you never tell us anything!" Ink said pouting.

"I wonder why? -_-"

"But again...he's your charge?" Jinx said seeing Rex sitting quietly like a good boy while enjoying the fresh air once in a while. It's been such a long time since he's been out. Though most of the other inmates were nervous seeing him back out after so long. He has his own little section in the prison to keep him from beating up the ones that was stupid enough to try challenging him.

"Ughhh, I'm not answering that Jinx! That's none of your business!" she said.

"Huh?!? But it's not fair! You know who our charges are! I bet he is your charge! Right?"

"........"

"Sooooo is h-"

"Stop. Asking. or I'll bonk you two hard to knock you out!" she said with her eye twitching.

"But we were just asking Kali!" Ink said.

"Yeah! Were your fellow officers! You can trust us! :3" Jinx said but Kali sighed with a sweatdrop.

"I know.....and trying to be sure you two stay professional is hard enough. Can't you two just go back to your duties and stop being dummies?" she said.

"..Were not dummies!" they said that Kali facepalms shaking her head. Rex heard this but chuckled finding it adorable while the six claws looks to Rex sensing he was something else. Even Yuji, Megumi, and Kisho senses it too. Just who was this guy?

~~~~~~~~Meanwhile in the medic ward section~~~~~~~~

Doctor Ophelia Alexandria was checking on some medical records of some prisoners with doctor Hex doing the same. They were just finished helping a officer who was injured on duty but now he was on sick leave because of it. As Hex was about to set some files down, the screen near by shows a telephone picture and the name "Doctor Swan" is calling on the screen.

'Hmmm? Doctor swan? That must be the other doctor on Roosevelt Island? I wonder what she could be calling about?' He walks over to the computer and hits the enter key to answer the call. He sits down to look at the screen seeing another woman sitting there but she looked worried.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Doctor Hex? This is Doctor Swan. How are you?"

'I'm alright today. How about you?"

"I'm hanging in there but....Is Doctor Ophelia there? I need to speak with her and you about something. It's a serious situation."

He blinks hearing doctor Swan on the line but he looks to see Ophelia working before looking ahead.

"She's here. Just a moment." he said. "Hey Ophelia." he calls to her as she looks up hearing his voice.

"Yes?"

"Doctor Swan is on the line. She wishes to speak with you about something serious." he said showing the video phone call that Ophelia walks over confused getting a chair to sit. "Hello?"

"Oh good. Your both there."

"Yes of course. Was their something wrong?" she asked.

"Well, you may say that. I have to speak to you about something regarding one of the inmates here in our prison. I don't know if Oblivion told you anything but it's about inmate Nakano." she said.

"Nakano? You mean Yuuka Nakano correct?" He asked seeing Swan nod.

"Yes. I was just doing a test scan on her and....well, were in a situation regarding a doctor The Hero Public Safety Commission sent over to us when we were told about her. Right now, she's....she's in 24/7 isolation medic ward area because of recent behavior." Swan said.

"What do you mean?" He asked but Ophelia knew. She remembers Oblivion sent her something speaking about it. Something of some medicine this doctor is giving her.

"I think I know. It's resulting in the double strength in medicine and the shots right?" Ophelia said seeing Swan nod. "I get the bad feeling their getting worse?"

"..Yeah. Because of the double strength, Yuu's quirk has started to become dangerous weak. But..it's a lot to explain. Here, I can fax you the notes we taken so far or found in it." she said.

"That's fine. Please send them over." she said as Swan nods.

"Alright hold on." she begins typing on the computer checking the documents they had before she copies them and sent it by e-mail.

"Wait, what do she mean by that?" Hex asked.

"It's something I'm looking into for Oblivion..but I'll explain in a moment." Ophelia said to him. In a while, Hex heard a ping showing one new mail.

"We got it."

"Alright, go ahead and look for yourself. It's something we found regarding the shot or what it's doing so far." Swan said as Hex opens it and looks to the message with Ophelia.

The e-mail reads as follows:

~~~Info for Tz45 medicine for inmate 2239 a.k.a Yuuka Nakano~~~

((Note from doctor: Due to her high stress levels and other dangerous levels from her quirk. She is to be put on this medication to help with keeping her mentally stable till further notice. Drugs along with the shot will be given ever 5 hours every day but this might result in change. Please speak with Doctor lee for more information.))

By order of the HPSC, this patient is to be administered this medicine to help with keeping her stable and under the orders of the prison to insure she is not to be in a dangerous emotional state. Because of her violent dangerous behavior, this is to help her keep calm and her quirk neutralized.

If medicine is not strong enough or if changing the dose is needed, the strength will be changed to continue the process of keeping miss Nakano calm. The doctor, Doctor Narashi Lee, assigned to her will keep us up to date to say if we need it to be doubled or tripled if results are not changed.

The two blinks reading this but looks at a list.

"Wait, this is the medicine their giving the inmate? I've never heard of such things. I thought from what they said, she was only getting a shot ever 8 hours." Ophelia said.

"They were but they might have changed it after increasing the strength of it. Right now, whatever they done, it's effecting Yuuka pretty strong like. She's not as moveable right now thanks to it."

Hex checks the list but he begins opening another laptop to start checking the ingredients in this.

"But let me ask; has anything changed since they double the strength of this?" Ophelia asked worried.

"Like I said, they double the strength and right now, it's hitting her pretty hard. But their is a list of her health status on the message." Swan said seeing Ophelia checking seeing the list.

~~Nakano's health status~~

On first strength of dose

*Still violent at the beginning

*Still tends to get itchy and irritated on the skin

*Rashes sometimes tend to show but disappear due to her poison quirk

*Has got anxiety and mood swings is present

*has nosebleeds a few times but not as much

*Scratching at her skin or clawing at it like something is in her

*Has become very scared of Needles/has to use force when giving shots

((Note: Inmate Nakano has gotten more violent even when the medicine was first given to her. At first, she's become threatening to where her quirk has doubled in strength. She's already attacked so many of the doctors here in this prison but still showing the same results. I got word they will work on increasing the strength to see new results.))

Dr. Narashi Lee

~~Nakano's heath status #22~~

On double strength of dose

*Seeing things/having hallucinations saying she keeps seeing 'worms' under her skin

*Quirk has weakened greatly to showing only slight particles/no toxic flames is present now thanks to this.

*Still having nosebleeds but their a lot more heavy

*Freaking out a lot more that she's more scared of the staff while not attacking. This might change later on in the future.

*Tends to scratch herself a lot more leaving deep scratches to bleed

*Muttering and whispering to herself/behavior changes from time to time

*Fear of needles have grown strongly now

((Note: After sending the request, it seems now we are using double the strength. So far from the double dose, it's stronger and a lot more effective now. I'm still watching over her to insure she's getting the proper dose of the medicine. However, Nakano has shown a lot more different behaviors now. However, study shows the new ingredient in the double douse is working wonders. If we keep giving or administering the drug, she'll have her quirk be weak enough to where she's quirkless. I might have to request them to triple the strength and see where it goes. I'll keep working on it for later information.))

Dr. Narashi Lee

Ophelia, Hex, and Swan was shocked reading this but even swan didn't read that far.

"A new ingredient was added to this? But what was it?" Swan said now checking the report. The three keep look only for Hex to see.

"I see it. Most of these drugs are mostly found in the black market. I thought the ones that sent her to you made sure of that. Ophelia was reading too, seeing so many different drugs but she looks to the first one but it didn't have much on it's list.

The first list shows 5 things used to make it. The double dose has 11 things added to it. So far, Hex can clearly see most of them were not suppose to be there.

"Okay, I see." he said.

"What is it?" Ophelia said.

"See these here? Those were not added before. And looking to the first list, these ingredients are usually to help calm the other down from violent behavior. Something like a calming agent." He explains to the two. "But, the new eleven is the opposite of it. These are a lot more heavy and stronger that it's over powering the main five that was first there." he said.

"....So over drugs I take it? But...is that why the 'medicine' is doing this to her?" Ophelia asked Hex.

"From what I can see yes. I've seen these drugs before but their pretty dangerous if one is not careful. However, in the most cases, these are not always mixed together to be like this. I say someone either mixed this and added it into the medicine or...their trying to work undercover to cause harm." He said.

This worried Swan and Ophelia.

"We need to double check this double strength.....even if you say what is true, we need something to cancel or stop this effects on her." Ophelia said.

"Yeah, do you have a idea?" Swan said.

"I might have something..but I'll have to speak to doctor Cobin about it. He's well known for these sort of drugs and he might know more about them too. I'll go ahead and fax this to him and we will see what he says. In the meantime, do your best to keep her calm. Even if she got these shots and medicine, we don't know what they might be thinking." he said.

"R...right of course.." she said.

"I'll call you again when we have Doctor Cobin on the line. For now, keep a eye on Yuuka....we might be indeed going into another situation." he said.

"U..Understood." Swan said before ending the call. Ophelia was now worried but she hopes it was not the case. For now, Hex goes ahead to send this e-mail to Cobin as well to show him what is going on. However, when Swan gets off the call, she stood up worried.

What the heck was going on? She was going to figure it out but that's when officer Lecross shouts out, "Everyone calm down! Just relax!"

"???" Hearing this, she rushes to find out what is going on. She sees some officers in the hallway worried but Luna was also pushing through wondering the same.

"What the hell is going on!?" Luna said.

"It's the inmate. Yuuka is acting strange but another officer is in there with her. He's got her at gun point!"

"What!?"

Hearing this, Luna pushes through but gets to the door and opens it. When she did, she stops to see. The officer was shaking scared, holding a gun at Yuuka but she didn't move looking at him. At first she couldn't move or walk but now she's sitting on the ground.

"........"

"Officer, what is going on?! Why do you have-"

"Something is wrong with her, ma'am. She's not sane. We need to do something." he said shaking but his finger is on the trigger. Luna didn't want him to shoot her but tries to calm him down.

"..Easy now....lower the gun. I don't want anyone getting shot here."

"...B..but I do...." Luna and the officer looks to see Yuu look at them again, she was scratching her arm again but she looks weaker.

"I....want this to end you know? I can't keep this up. The worms...their eating me alive right now.....I can see them....I can feel them...I don't want to go through this...I just want it to end.." she said then looks to the officer. "But he was going t..to do that for me...before he freaked out. So why don't you give me the peace I want? Please...shot me right here...right in the heart and end this." she said.

"..I....."

"Officer, lower your gun right now." Luna orders.

"But she's...she's a threat ma'am..we need to do something or she might end up hurting others here." he aims the gun to Yuu but she didn't move wanting him to shoot her.

"I said Lower. Your. Weapon!" she demands but the officer lowers it.

"...Your a coward......I'm begging you to set me free. I hate feeling like this..I hate it!" Yuu slowly tries to sit up but she winces holding her stomach feeling sick suddenly again. She's been throwing up all morning but looks to the officers while snickering.

"Besides...I'm already...d...dead anyway...I just want it to end so badly...I'm asking you...to give me that..I want this pain to end. I hate this...so just shoot me already!" she forces herself up but looks to the officer who was scared seeing her slowly crawling to him. He backs up scared as Luna did too.

"Yuuka, stop. This is not you..just calm down-"

"I'm...not going to. I want him...to shoot me...right here. End my suffering...end it all right now....make it end!" she said now looking to try and grabbing him. The officer got scared holding his gun before three loud bangs was heard.

Luna's eyes widen with some others as blood spills on the ground. Yuu didn't move but she slowly looks seeing her shoulder and arm as it was bleeding from being shot. She reaches up with one hand to grip her arm seeing and feeling how much it burned.

"Officer!"

"I..I'm sorry! She...she's.."

Yuu said nothing before lowering her hand seeing her blood. This only made her laugh softly. The two look at her but she looks to her bloody hand to smile a little.

"I..It hurts.....even worse from being shot..b..but it's true.....the worms look s...so gross.." from her view, she sees worms wriggling in her blood but the others didn't. She saw them due to hallucinating. Now, she just leans back to look up but begins laughing.

"It burns and it hurts..I to..told you...their just eating me a..alive...I'll be free from this soon...so soon! Then I won't have to suffer anymore!" she said now laughing while leaning against the wall bleeding heavily.

"GET ME A MEDIC IN HERE NOW!" Luna shouted seeing some nurses rush to help her but Yuu kept laughing crazy like while crying while being taken to get treated. Now everyone was worried to see the blood once more on the floor and wall. Something was off but this worried her but this really made Swan more worried. Seems it was starting to become true. Was this because of the doctor or something else? For now, she will hope Ophelia and Hex gets more info from Cobin.

~~~~~Meanwhile in UA~~~~~~~

It was another calm day so far here but, some of the teachers were worried after something happened a while ago. Right now, Aizawa and Principal Nezu were in a private meeting room with two men and one female. One male was silent and worried for his friend but the second one was furious and angry.

"Mr. Nakano please, if you just calm down we can-"

"NO! No, I won't calm down! How the hell did you not know about this!?" Qiao and Sakura Nakano were visiting the school right now after finding out more about their daughter. "You told me that she was in a safe place to heal. Now your telling me she's getting ill and getting worse!?"

Seems thanks to some info, it seems they were understanding what is happening.

"Mr. Nakano I know your upset right now but please...we just need to-"

"What you need to do is start telling us what the hell is going on!? Where is our daughter! You told me she was alright or that's what the school told us. Right now, I demand you tell me what the hell is going on or else I'm going to sue this damn place because you all didn't do shit!" he said slamming a fist on the table. His fist was shaking but the two saw some smoke rising showing his toxic flames were burning the wood.

"Qiao please calm down, I'm sure they will tell us what is happening. But getting mad won't make this go any smoother." Jung-hoon Kouki Seon, Oblivion's father was with his friend or asked to go with them to keep Qiao calm. He knew he was not happy right now and was now demanding answers to what happened to his daughter.

".........."

"I know your mad...but just take a deep breath and calm down.....let them speak." Jung said only for him to sigh and sit down. Sakura was holding his hand worried but looks to the two.

"....So talk. What is going on? Where is Yuuka?" he asked.

"....Right now, you know she's in prison in America but we were told she's getting treatment for what ever is happening to her. Though, I'm afraid we got new information speaking about her." Nezu said that Qiao looks at him.

"New information? We already know about the whole prison thing but what else is their to know?" he asked.

"...It seems the public has asked for your daughter to get help...so she's under medication to insure she's....stable. I've been asking time and time again to explain what is happening but all The Hero Public Safety Commission told me is that she's 'fine and is getting help as we speak.' " He said in quote.

"T..then she's fine right? Our daughter is f..fine...even if she became a vigilante...it's like her home is nothing but a death bed for her...the people they...they just don't understand-"

"Oh no, they do Sakura. They see Yuu as a monster now after what happened but it wasn't her fault. She was kidnapped! Taken from her friends and us. The ones that did this to her hurt her physically and mentally that it got her to that state. Those bastards harmed my child and did this to her. What if they come back to do the same to our other kids?! Their grown up but I don't want them to get hurt either!"

"Calm down......I assure you the police is looking for the ones responsible right now..we got intel one officer is looking after her or is her charge right now. So far, they told us the situation with her. She's....mentally ill or sick from what I was said. Officer Seon tells me she's now under a double strength medicine that is trying to help her but I don't think it is." Nezu said seeing the three shocked.

"Wait..their giving her medicine and doubling it's strength!?" Sakura said in a panic.

"Yes. But that's all we know so far...she's gone through a lot...even when trying to harm herself to..." Aizawa looks away not wanting to say too much but Sakura, Qiao, and Juna was silent.

"H..Harm herself? You mean she tried to-"

"Yes...but officer Seon stopped her before she could. She's tried a few times from what she told us. But she's alright..still being watched over right now in America but we don't know anything else yet. We are hoping to get more info soon.." Aizawa said but Sakura looks down only to start crying.

"My baby...oh Yuuka.." she closed her eyes but felt her husband hold her close trying to calm her.

"That's.....I see. But nothing new about what is going on right now?" Juna said to see the two shake their heads.

"No, but we will be keeping up to date to see how she's doing. Don't worry, i know you are upset about this....but we never wanted this to happen. We only thought getting her help would do better for her." Aizawa said but Qiao heard to look at him.

"You thought?! You seriously thought getting her help was something like this!" he said now mad again. "My daughter was suspended from YOUR school due to what happened! She was FUCKING KIDNAPPED!" He said now mad.

"We-"

"No, just shut up!"

"Please listen to me. If you let us explain. We never wanted anything to happen to any student in our school. That includes Yuu too. This isn't what we-"

"You say you never wanted this to happen but it happened anyway! My daughter was kidnapped, physically abused, drugged by creeps, wanting to kill others even villains, and now she's in prison being given medicine that might be doing more harm than good!? You say you tried to get her help well let me ask...IS THAT THE FUCKING KIND OF HELP YOU WERE GIVING HER!? SENDING HER TO PRISON WHERE SHE ENDS UP LIKE THAT!?" he said mad.

"No! We never wanted this to happen this way as I said! We wanted to help your daughter! I wanted to help her get better! She just....after what happened she changed quickly. We just wanted to help her."

".....You got a weird way to help her! She's in prison! No one is saying what is happening till now! And I'm worried that my oldest daughter is going to get worse the more this goes on!"

"....Mr. Nakano-"

"I'm scared for her now. I'm scared that now I don't want her to come back here because I fear the The Hero Public Safety Commission and the people will do worse to her. I fear even her own home is no longer safe for her because of this!" he said. Even if both said nothing worried, they knew he was furious right now to cover his face.

"......I don't even know if she's going to be the same again after all this.....I......" In a moment, Sakura saw her husband start to cry that she held him close.

"Honey.."

"...." Qiao said nothing but his hands were in fists, shaking a bit as tears were seen near his eyes and running down his cheeks. He was not happy right now but both mad and worried. Even if she was a woman now, that was still his child.

This reminds Jung about his own daughter Tae. He was always worried about her even when he feared she would turn that same path but..he was happy that she didn't to become a officer when her own dream was taken. She learned from it and now is who she is now.

Jung said nothing worried but he pats his back but he gets the feeling his own daughter Tae was the officer that was watching over her.

"We...I know this is a hard time for you..but understand, we will still wish to help your family and her. Yuuka was one of my best students..before she got kidnapped that night.....we are sorry about this....but we will find a way to fix this. We give you our word." Nezu said to Qiao but he didn't even look up still gripping some of his dark purple hair. Sakura said nothing but sighed.

"I..If you do find anything else...please let us know....we will take our leave." she said to then look at him. "Honey, come on..lets go home...I'm sure Yuu will be alright....." she said to help him stand so the two can leave. Jung follows but he looks back to Aizawa and Nezu before turning to follow his friends out the office into the hallway. This leaves the other two alone that the Principle sighed with eyes closed.

".........I hope we can get forgiveness for this......Principle Nezu.." Aizawa said.

"...I do too..I just hope those two investigators are doing what they can to fix this. And prey that Yuu is holding on.......but something feels off about this..for now, we'll just keep our eyes peeled...understand?"

"Yes sir."

With that, the two looks out the window but thinks and hopes Yuu was holding on. The ones that caused this will be caught one day.......or sooner. For now, it's unknown for now.

[crayonssz]

Why didn’t you stop me? -chapter 2 // skk fic

a/n: sorry for delayed update, i’ve been really burnt out😭 as always, this is a reupload from my ao3, justanotherjester! enjoy!!

tysm for beta reading @zestylemonsz!!

“and i’m sorry i left, but it was for the best, though it never felt right.” -fourth of july, sufjan stevens

Chuuya’s eyes fluttered open, a soft groan escaping his lips. He sat up, observing his surroundings. The clean, white sheets on the bed, the grey walls, and the sun that shone through the semi-transparent curtains. They were all unfamiliar to him. He stretched his arms as he tried to remember the previous night’s events.

The way he pinned him to the wall.

The way he teased him.

“Admit it, you missed me~” Who did he think he fucking was?!

He hated him.

He hated his fluffy brown hair that Chuuya definitely did NOT want to run his hands through.

He hated his brown eyes that sparkled whenever he teased the ginger.

He hated the way he consumed his every waking thought. 

“ Fuckin’ hell. ” Chuuya growled to himself, resisting the urge to bash his head into a nearby wall. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Dazai’s departure had affected him deeply. He had descended into a depressive state, consumed by his anger and pain. He tried to drown out these feelings with alcohol, drinking whenever he could in the hopes of forgetting the betrayal that was tearing at his heart.

And now he was sitting in Dazai’s fucking bed.

Chuuya groaned.

“‘How long will you continue to break my heart?’ God, that’s so fucking sappy.” He muttered to himself as he got out of bed. 

Chuuya reached to adjust his collar instinctively, but paused when he felt nothing. For the first time, he looked at what he was wearing.

It wasn’t the same outfit he had been wearing the previous night. Chuuya didn’t have any memory of changing, and none came to light when he searched his mind.

Which could only mean one thing.

“DAZAI!”

After a few moments, the brunette walked into the room.

“Oh, the sleeping beauty is awake. How was your rest?” He asked, a smirk creeping onto his face.

Chuuya glared up at his former partner.

“Care to explain why the fuck I’m in different clothes from last night?”

Dazai chuckled.

“Well, you see, your clothes were soaked. Surely you’d catch a cold if you kept them on, so I did the right thing and changed them.”

Chuuya could feel the blood rushing to his face. The way Dazai was so nonchalant about it infuriated him.

“You- you saw me naked, jackass!”

“Would you rather contract pneumonia, slug?”

Chuuya growled. “…no,” he muttered.

“Hm? Speak up, I can’t hear you.” Dazai grinned.

“I SAID NO!”

“Now, now, let’s not get all worked up. Would you like breakfast? I made some miso soup and rice.”

Chuuya opened his mouth to protest, but was promptly interrupted by his stomach growling.

“Fine.”

Dazai grinned, and led Chuuya to a table.

“Pardon the mess, I certainly wasn’t expecting to bring you home.”

“Don’t phrase it like that, it sounds like we’re dating or something..”

That earned a laugh from Dazai as he set a plate in front of Chuuya.

“Would you be opposed to that, chibi?”

Dazai sat down across from him, smiling still.

Once again, blood rushed to Chuuya’s cheeks. His immediate answer would be no, of course. Dazai was an asshole and could go die in a ditch somewhere, for all Chuuya cared.

But…

No.

Chuuya would never date Dazai.

He loathed himself for even allowing the idea to linger on his mind.

It was wrong.

He couldn’t.

He shouldn’t.

He-

“Chuuya?” Dazai’s expression was one of amusement.

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I, uh, zoned out.”

“Mhmm.”

The two former colleagues ate in silence, both deep in thought.

“Well. I should go.” Chuuya stood up, leaving his dishes on the table. He didn’t care for Dazai enough to clean up after himself. He wasn’t that decent of a person.

“So soon?” Dazai stood up as well.

“Yeah.”

The two stood there awkwardly, neither knowing what to say. The silence was deafening, almost unbearable.

“I’ll see you around.. mackerel.”

“You too, slug.”

Chuuya walked with Dazai to the door. In a way, he almost wished he could stay. 

“ What the hell is wrong with me? ”

“Hm?”

Dazai looked over at Chuuya, confused. The ginger froze. No way he actually just said that out loud.

“Huh? I didn’t say anything. I think you should get your ears checked.” For good measure, he added, “Jackass.”

“Alright then.”

Dazai opened the door, and Chuuya stepped out.

“Oh, and chibi.”

“Yeah?”

“Come back soon to get your clothes back~!” Dazai taunted, his voice switching to a sing-song tone. With that, he slammed the door in Chuuya’s face, leaving the angry ginger fuming.

“Fuck you, Dazai Osamu.”

Why didn’t you stop me? - chapter 1 // SKK fic

a/n: first fic in a while + first fic in bsd fandom, this probably sucks ass idk😭😭 full fic will be on ao3, same username

tysm to @zestylemonsz for proofreading!!

 “i look for a picture of you to keep in my pocket, but i can’t seem to find one where you look how i remember.” -why didn’t you stop me, mitski

Osamu Dazai walked through the streets of Yokohama, the dark sky providing him with shelter. Moonlight cloaked his body, giving him an almost ethereal glow. His scarred hands were tucked into the pockets of his beige trenchcoat, providing him with sufficient warmth for the time being. 

His dark eyes were fixated on a pebble as he kicked it across the pavement. The scraping of the pebble was hypnotic, leading him to zone out until-

“Watch it, asshole!”

Dazai snapped back to reality, looking up.

Brown eyes met blue.

Time seemed to stop. Dazai’s heart was racing, its pounding was the only sound he heard. His hands emerged from his pockets and started scratching any bit of skin that had the misfortune of being exposed. Dazai needed to feel something, anything. Anything to distract him from the man standing silently in front of him. Finally, the silence got to be too much for him.

“Hello, Chuuya.”

Chuuya Nakahara stared up at Dazai, his icy eyes void of any emotion whatsoever. How, Dazai wondered, did they manage to say nothing and everything at all? Dazai didn’t know what he expected. He knew Chuuya would be angry; he had abandoned him, after all. He wasn’t expecting, however, the fist that sent him stumbling back.

Dazai’s head collided with a building, the brick wall causing his vision to blur. The ginger stormed over to him, his expression unreadable. Without warning, he grabbed Dazai’s shirt collar and lifted him up. Dazai inhaled sharply, wincing. “You’ve gotten stronger, Chuuya-“

Chuuya still said nothing. The silence was starting to make Dazai uncomfortable.

“You reek of whiskey.”

No response.

“I like your hat.”

Still nothing.

“Chuuya, say something. Please?”

“What is there to say?”

Chuuya’s voice was filled with anger. For most people, that’s all they would hear. But Dazai wasn’t that naïve. He was able to see beyond Chuuya’s hostile exterior. He heard the anguish hidden in Chuuya’s voice, and it broke him.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Chuuya.” Dazai’s voice was soft. 

“Well, you did,” Chuuya snapped. He was still pinning Dazai to the wall, his nails digging into the brunette’s skin. 

“I’m sorry.” Dazai frowned. “Can you let me down now?”

Chuuya glared up at him before stepping back, letting Dazai fall to the ground with a thud. “There.”

Dazai got up, groaning softly. The two stood in silence once again. 

Plip.

Dazai held his hand up, feeling the drops of rain. It started as a gentle drizzle, but quickly escalated into a downpour. Dazai slipped a bandaged hand into the depths of his pockets, fishing out a collapsible umbrella. He quickly extended it, holding it upright. His eyes met Chuuya’s.

“You want to set your pride aside and ignore it get under?”

Chuuya’s eyes narrowed, and his fists clenched. Rain slid off of his fedora, creating an almost comedic sight.

“C’mon, you’re going to get soaked.”

Chuuya sighed, and stepped forward. His shoes made tiny ripples in the puddles that were starting to form. He stood about a foot away from Dazai, the umbrella only covering about half of his figure.

“Hm.” Dazai frowned.

Suddenly, Dazai’s hand grabbed his waist. He pulled him in, Chuuya’s head colliding with his chest. A muffled yelp could be heard coming from Chuuya, followed by a chuckle from Dazai.

“You little-“

“Shhh.” Dazai smirked, still pressing him against his chest.

Chuuya growled, but didn’t protest. After a minute, Dazai released him. The two were still extremely close in proximity, causing red to bloom across Chuuya’s face.

“Admit it, Chuuya.” Dazai was still smirking, his eyes glinting mischievously.

“Admit what, shithead?” Chuuya crossed his arms, fuming.

“You missed me~” The brunette tapped Chuuya’s nose for emphasis, causing Chuuya to shove him against a wall once more. 

Dazai was prepared this time, grabbing Chuuya’s arm and swinging him around, reversing the roles.

Dazai put his hands next to Chuuya’s head, leaning down to reach his height.

The ginger opened his mouth a few times as if to say something, but nothing came out. Dazai did nothing to mask his amusement, chuckling at Chuuya’s flustered state.

“You know what?! Fine. Maybe I did miss your stupid, annoying, dumb face. B-But that doesn’t mean anything! So don’t get any ideas!” The shorter man shouted, the words pouring out of his mouth.

“You love this stupid, annoying, dumb face.” Dazai still stood over Chuuya, enjoying the effect he had on him.

“DO NOT!!”

“Okay, maybe a little.”

Dazai raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, fine. You win. Happy?!”

“Extremely.”

Dazai backed away from Chuuya, extending his hand towards him. Chuuya reluctantly accepted, and Dazai held the umbrella over him once more.

“Come on. You clearly aren’t sober, so I can’t have you going off on your own. With your petite frame, some might mistake you for a lady.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, asshole?!”

Dazai chuckled as he led Chuuya through the streets, making sure to splash him with a puddle every opportunity he got.

“Where’re we going?” Chuuya inquired, his words slurring together.

“My place, of course.”

Chuuya didn’t protest, he was far too tired.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, until Chuuya decided to ask what had been on his mind since his partner’s desertion from the Port Mafia.

“Dazai?”

“Hm?”

“How long will you continue to break my heart?”

Dazai froze, unsure how to answer. He looked down at Chuuya, the drunken flush in his cheeks not unnoticed. The moon and street lights illuminated Chuuya’s pouting face. Dazai was surprised by his vulnerability, and he wanted to give him an answer. He deserved one.

“As long as you allow me to.”

[nameless-shrimp]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 — CHUUYA NAKAHARA

↳ PAIRING: Chuuya Nakahara x GN! Reader

↳ TYPE: one-shot

↳ WORD COUNT: 3.5k

↳ WARNINGS: no spoilers, mild suggestive talk, partners to lovers, swearing, mentions of a one night stand in the past, drinking, smoking

↳ SYNOPSIS: Chuuya convinces you to stay with him when it's too cold outside. However, he has feelings for you, so how can he express that? At the same time, how could you express your feelings about him?

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTES: i wrote this in two hours be nice, idk what i was doing but i was desperate to write my bsd fics for the holiday season coming up so here you go <3

Chuuya’s eyes dragged along at the ticking clock, with the saccharine cigarette scent that aroused the coffee table. He told himself to sleep early tonight, but when you fancied yourself a visit to his place, he had his own restless idea of falling into an endless spell.

The clock ticked; the window cried in ease from the harsh breezes ripping to the glass. Christmas wreaths decorated right over his fireplace, much to his taste, where his entire apartment was dangling in nothing but faint maroons and silver bells. With your eyes widening at his extra bit to his interior, he sucked right into the touch—only placing out the most exquisite decorations right suited for your taste.

Even so, the man was struck over heels. He partnered with you—and that was the deal. Nothing more, nothing less. Only Chuuya bit his lip at that, and he always kept himself back but most days, did your lips look more softer than usual? Or did you typically hide your face like that—with him? He never knew, though he paid more mind, just a tad bit as the weekends ran by.

“It’s really cold out there.”

Your words caught him off guard, and he whisked away from the scent of cigarettes in his home by rubbing the one in his hand on the dirty ashtray. “Shit, yeah it is,” Chuuya chuckled, grinning. “Yet you find yourself here.”

“Only simply because you have the wine,” your eyes rolled. Fuck. He wished that the spell had broken for him—but he also didn’t catch on the line to complain any further. “I fancy a man that has a great taste in alcohol.”

“And that man is me,” he chuckled. “Right?”

“I said you had wine, not that you had the best,” you tapped your ears. “Do you listen?”

“How cute,” he snarled, tipping his fedora. “Still gon’ act so funny with me even when we aren’t working?”

“It’s our weekend off,” you dipped further into the stool, arms resting on the marble countertop. “Maybe we can go for a few days without bickering at each other? Thought you said Dazai was the worst, did you not?”

“He is,” Chuuya argued, shaking his head. “But you’re still a headache—sometimes.”

“At least it’s not all the time.”

“I take my words back, actually.”

You gasped. “Rude. Maybe I can bid my farewell to the door.”

“Now, now,” Chuuya quipped, raising a hand before he hopped down from his kitchen stool. “You came over for a drink, let me grant you one.”

“Only if you stop being a dick every once in a while.”

“I’m not an asshole. I tease.”

“As do I.”

“You do not.”

“I ought to say, no, no, sir,” you joked, trailing a hand before sighing. “But the wind is really kicking it outside. I should get home.”

Chuuya sighed, walking past you before reaching his cabinet. “You came for wine, so you’re staying here until you get a glass. And at least, let me walk you to the bus stop after you look sober enough to walk out my door, ‘kay?”

Your mouth opened to retort, though you simply decided to tag along with Chuuya’s words. A man so devoted with his gravity ability, and even your mind dragged into jokes about why he couldn’t act so cool and fancy by using his own ability to grab ahold of the wine bottles.

Though Chuuya was immersed with his own acts. He pranced to the countertop, dark green bottle in hand right before the touch of raspberry wine to fall right into the fragile wine glasses. The way his lips pursed in determination—such a weird man with an odd obsession with the fine tastes of expensive alcohol. He was witty in rare instances; he never agreed, only stating “Dazai was the witty fucker”, but you found yourself finding his own antics to be quite charming.

Was Chuuya doing too much for his own purpose? He knew that his heart was fond of you. Maybe that he was a person that had an interest in his own partner—hobbies, favorite color, where you’d like to go shopping for new clothes. Little wishful thinking. The kind of thoughts that Chuuya tended to puff out in nothing but smoke clouds and bitter cigarettes.

However, the spotlight was on you. He couldn’t dwell too deep into his own peculiarity. Wine. You. And two open seats near his crackling fireplace. That was the main point. ‘How delightful for you to drop in,’ he thought, following a smirk once he filled his glass to the tip.

So fucking odd.

Emotions were a rollercoaster—only for him.

“Have a glass,” Chuuya said, placing the bottle back on the counter. “We can hang out by the fireplace.”

You blinked. “Oh, so romantic. I’ll stay for a little bit, but I don’t think I can finish all of—”

“Hey, just a few sips is fine,” he shrugged. “That leaves more for me.”

And you took the glass, following his trail to the leather couch which radiated nothing but sweet heat while indulging your body into his Christmas pillows. Arousing illumination of yellow lights from the hanging bulbs around the fireplace along with the kiss of the orange blaze. You wondered if he had prepped such a boisterous and flamboyant decoration setup simply for you.

Because Chuuya never gave a damn who entered his home and, well—this was your second visit. From his words in the past, you recalled that he never gave a damn for home decoration or that he was too busy with the mafia to blink once about good furniture. Though, a man with a charming attitude towards you—sometimes—and with a fairly acceptable taste in fashion, he must have an itch for nice home decor.

After all, the fireplace was lit, and the joys of Christmas spirit were all over the living room. Let alone the half-eaten Gingerbread house in the kitchen.

(He said he didn’t take a bite after building it, but you called him a liar earlier on.)

Chuuya sipped his glass. “So, why the visit?”

“I just wanted to come by for alcohol, remember?” Your voice dragged. “I don’t remember you telling me that you put all these...” your hand trailed around to signal the wreaths on the wall and the glowing Christmas tree in the corner, radiating nothing but yellows and crimson. “Decorations up.”

He coughed into his glass. It wasn’t like he had just put it all the same day you were meant to come over—not at all. “M’just tryin’ to do something new with my place here,” his teeth gritted. “It gets dull and boring just walking around nothing when it’s the holiday season.”

“Sure,” you nodded, twirling your glass. “So, you didn’t just put all of this up today? Right when you knew I was going to stop by after like—I don’t know, two hours ago?”

“No,” his head shook. “Not at all.”

(Liar.)

“You have a tendency to try to impress me,” you said. “I noticed every time we work.”

“Hey now, don’t talk all drunk when you haven’t had a sip yet,” Chuuya retorted.

Your eyes rolled. “You’re avoiding the topic.”

Shit.

His heart raced; eyes widening. “I am not,” he groaned. “Let’s just have a toast, yeah?”

“Oh, really?” You exhaled. “What’s the special occasion?”

“To our partnership in the mafia.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“Alright, you wanna be an ass?” He laughed, sipping his wine once more. “Or are we gonna make a toast?”

You smiled. “To our partnership, partner.”

“Right back at you.”

The clank of wine glasses echoed across the living room.

And you took in a sip. Sweet roses to your nose, but the taste was nothing but a pungent taste of raspberry, much as the label on the wine bottle noted. Fighting back a cough, you exhaled sharply, letting the small sting of alcohol wash down your throat. Chuuya followed suit with a drink of his glass as well, slowly taking in much more than he anticipated.

“Say,” you grinned. “What’s in this drink?”

Chuuya scoffed, fedora nearly tipping down from his head. “What? You think I drugged you?”

“No,” you laughed, waving a hand. “It tastes really sharp but really good at the same time.”

“I have good taste in alcohol, what can I say?”

“Well, kudos to you, Chuu,” you raised your glass. “I should come over more often.”

He laughed. “You really want to?”

“Sure,” you nodded. “This welcome has been so nice and warm.”

“Say,” his head tilted. “Should I get another glass?”

Chuuya stared at his empty glass, pouting slightly right before the alcohol took a kick to his head. He didn’t bother reading what the percentage was on the bottle, and now with one glass in, he’s already feeling the adrenaline die down to nothing but a smug smirk. ‘Shit, shit, fucking hell—’ as if he wasn’t attempting to embarrass himself when you were around, but. Too late.

He levitated the bottle from the kitchen to the living room with his ability, red aura coming out from his body right before he watched the bottle slowly tip to pour more of the liquid into his empty glass. You watched, eyes fascinated with his widened ones—where his eyes twinkled in delight. You weren’t sure if it was because of you close to him or if it was on his end for starting to feel a bit on edge.

The knock of the breeze outside startled you, causing him to laugh out loud; throat raspy right before a hiccup followed after. “The alcohol really kicks in this drink,” Chuuya laughed. “Sorry. Should’ve checked the percentage rate.”

“It’s fine,” you responded. “I only took a sip. I don’t feel too tipsy.”

“Even if you had to stay over, I wouldn’t mind it.”

You blinked, lips parting. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea…”

“Why not?” He watched the bottle slowly sit on the table after his glass was refilled, only to take a harsh gulp of wine once more. “It’s cold outside. I can keep you warm.”

“Sleeping at my coworker’s place sounds a bit… much, doesn’t it?”

“Not to me,” Chuuya shrugged. “Things happen, love. Can’t help when certain circumstances come up. If you gotta crash here, feel free to.”

“Did you just—” you were about to ask, but your lips shut in an instant. “Nevermind.”

“No, tell me.”

“I should go,” you laughed, fighting your heart racing while his fedora tumbled down to the couch; orange-blazing hair tousled around with his fairly unbuttoned top. “Don’t think I should stay any longer.”

Chuuya sighed. “It’s cold. At least stay for a little longer, or you’ll freeze out there.”

“It’s only going to get colder later, Chuu.”

“Beautiful, what’s your hurry?” He asked, rubbing his forehead. “You just got here less than an hour ago and you’re already thinking about leaving.”

“I just wanted to stop by for a drink,” you noted. “That’s it, really.”

“Yet you took one sip.”

“It’s a bit strong for me.”

“Like I said, more for me, right?” He laughed loudly, voice echoing—an unusual melody to your ears while your breath hitched when Chuuya leaned closer to your figure. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I hope you know that.”

You gulped, showing off a lip bite. “I know, I just think… we both know this night might end in the opposite direction.”

He raised a brow. “What’re you on about?”

You wanted to mentally smack him. Not like there had been one time in the past where you slept with your partner—only due to sexual tendencies and unfortunate frustration built up between you two. Not that you wanted to reject it. With Chuuya, no—absolutely, no way. The man was nothing but a pleasure and always moaned sweet nothings so soothingly to your ears. As if your emotions couldn’t boil any further.

Fucker.

“Nothing,” you sighed, turning away. “Nevermind.”

“Sorry,” Chuuya chuckled, rubbing his nose. “M’feelin’ it, a little bit…”

“One glass hit you hard, huh?” You laughed, looking down at your own glass—barely touched with the lip stain near the edge. “Must be really high on that alcohol percentage then.”

“No kidding,” he groaned, placing his glass down. “I’m sorry for acting funny.”

“It’s cute,” you responded, turning away. “Don’t worry about it.”

He blinked. “What did you say?”

“I should go,” you coughed, putting your glass on the coffee table. “I’d better scurry.”

Right when you stood up from the couch, Chuuya grabbed ahold of your wrist, causing you to glance down to watch his hair flutter further down to meet his collarbone. Those buttons. His top was barely buttoned up—and fuck. The nerve of the bastard. He was totally playing along with your heart—most likely trying to match his heartbeat with yours.

“Hey beautiful, please don’t hurry,” he smirked. “We haven’t talked for long.”

“We talk whenever we do missions all the time. I’m kind of in a ru—”

“But baby, it’s cold outside.”

Your eyes enlarged. “Call me that again.”

“What?” He grinned. “Baby?”

“Why’d you say that?”

Chuuya scoffed playfully, eyes working with their magic—his heart raced further into his feelings once more. “I like to call you pet names. Tell me, which one is your favorite?”

“Chuu,” you sternly said. “You’re drunk.”

“Barely.”

“A good amount of drunk, I’d say so.”

“No,” he argued, shaking his head. “You talk too much.”

“I simply must go.”

Chuuya let your wrist go, where he raised his hands up in surrender before glancing down once more at his glass. “At least stay for a tiny bit longer,” he laughed, grabbing a box of cigarettes from his back pocket. “Maybe just a cigarette more? Then I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”

“Okay,” you retorted, biting your lip. “Fine.”

Chuuya had his way with words—let alone throwing in his emotions to you. Of course, he knew of his feelings for you, though his mind always remained in harsh denial because that’s what he typically enjoyed in this sense. A stubborn bastard who was so devoted to not believing that he loved you because it was Chuuya—could this man ever find love within his heart? At least, some sprinkle of it during the holiday season?

He only wanted to share it with you, but—it wasn’t like he wanted to admit that, anyway.

“You want to escape me so bad, yeah?” Chuuya murmured with the cigarette dancing between his teeth. You watched him fiddle with his lighter, only to see the cocky grin arise—tongue hitting the end of his cigarette. “Somethin’ wrong with me?”

“No,” you responded, voice raising. “It’s just that I—”

‘Like you… a lot?’

Could you say those words to him—could you?

The silence creeps in from your harsh interruption of stopping yourself mid-sentence, where the wind nearly brushed a load of snow right at his window. The night roared further in; your knees shook.

“You…?” Chuuya’s voice dragged on after he lit his cigarette, wailing it around with his hand. “Don’t leave me hangin’ now, love.”

“You’re just annoying.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, but—okay,” he shrugged, right before grabbing onto his glass. Chuuya took a sip, diving into the liquid for a brief moment of numbness. “Hey, I gotta ask you something at least.”

You sighed, grabbing onto the nearest pillow only to fidget with the cloth. And your heart was beating uncontrollably—where the bubbly feeling was swirling within your chest. ‘He had to look so good tonight…’ you thought.

“Yeah,” you said. “Say it.”

“When we work together, you seem more nervous around me than usual. You don’t act like that with Akutagawa or even the boss. So, what gives?”

Your eyes widened. “Like I said, you’re just annoying.”

“You can barely look at me when we’re working together and you’re hiding your face.”

“Remember that we slept with each other once?”

Chuuya’s cigarette nearly dropped, causing the wine glass to drop from his other hand only to have his ability activate to grab ahold of the glass right before it could stain his rug. “I mean yeah,” he coughed awkwardly. “One time. But we swore to not talk about it again, right?”

You gulped. “Yeah.”

“So, why bring it up today?”

‘Say something,’ you thought. “Ah, I just wanted to tell you that…” your voice trailed off, causing your lip to bite where your eyes shut immediately. Chuuya noted the uncomfortable reaction, only to have him reach a hand out and rub the cigarette out on the ashtray resting on his coffee table.

“Listen,” Chuuya sighed. “If you need to talk about anything, you know I’m here, right? Even if we just work together, you’re still a friend to me.”

‘Friend… right,’ he thought.

His heartbeat quickened.

Perhaps—is there a possibility of something more?

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Chuuya said, levitating his filled glass back to the table. “But I won’t lie, there’s something I’m not telling you either.”

You watched him, only to have him rub his cigarette out after smoking it halfway through. Not very typical of him to do. Although, nothing can beat your mind to it—no more denial, no more lies; the harsh truth would have been revealed. Even at some point, due to the memory of him not fading—never could a man express himself so much, even through the movements in bed and the gentle words that he shared to you that night.

Nothing felt cold, lost—but rather, it was right. Right for your taste. The honeyed praise. God, you wanted him—not for sex, but for something more. Brighter. And Chuuya knew that he wanted it too. Now, with two people that had difficulty expressing their words in front of the fireplace with an incoming snowstorm from outside, exactly—what could go wrong?

You exhaled. “Can you go first then?”

“Let me see something,” Chuuya said, only to have him move closer to your presence where your body dipped further into the couch—practically lying down. Hitched breaths from your throat caused Chuuya to grin in satisfaction. Cocky. But sexy at the same time. And he hovered over you, only to watch the glow within your eyes.

“Ah,” you gulped. “What did you need to see?”

“Your pretty face up close.”

“Chuuya.”

“Your lips look delicious,” he murmured. “Would it be a shame if I placed my own on yours?”

“I—” you exhaled. “I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And he fell right into the kiss, connecting your lips with his—heat pooling within his chest along with yours while his palm caressed the edge of your jaw. The crackle of the fire soothed his heart—emotions letting loose from one simple action. And Chuuya smiled within the kiss, causing him to pull back to reveal a softhearted smile, even from when his hair is tousled all over his shoulders.

“I love you,” Chuuya confessed, blinking. “I really love you. And I’m gonna be a man who’s now tipsy to tell you that I love you and I want you to stay over at my place because I don’t want you freezing out there.”

“I think I love you too,” you blinked.

“I know you do.”

“But, really, I think I should—”

“You should stay with me,” Chuuya murmured, now sitting up on the couch to grab your wrists and pull you up; noses close enough to touch. “And also be mine. Not just for this Christmas, but for a good amount of time. Forever, hopefully.”

You smiled, letting out a laugh. Heat rising from your neck to cheeks. “Sounds like a deal. There’s bound to be talk at work, though.”

“Let them talk,” Chuuya said, continuing to smile. “Don’t care. So as long as I have you, beautiful.”

“Such a romantic.”

“Shut up,” he quipped, only to peck a kiss upon your lips. “But baby, it’s cold outside. So you should stay—here with me.”

“Fine,” you grinned, giving in before falling into his chest. Expensive cologne lingered around your nose. “I’ll stay.”

Chuuya always fumbled with his words. Happily, he hugged back, falling into the realization that he actually confessed. And on your end, you felt the same—portraying the affection through a tight hug. Warmth growing within his heart, as he continued to share it with yours. An unusual feeling of endearment, right when the storm kicks in further from the outside, but with this sweet relish, Chuuya didn’t complain. Not once.

Instead, he only hugged tighter.

And asked, “let’s keep drinking then? A toast to our new love?”

You laughed agreeably. “Sure.”

He grinned, only to place a kiss upon your lips once more.

“Well, that took a lot of convincing.”

tags: @whorefordazai @tender-rosiey @internetkilledtheroxstar @sadcannibal @sonder-paradise @pompompurin1028 @tetsustation @milky-toast @missrown @requiem626k @jessbeinme15 @kyuus4ku @kiyokoxd @dazaiaiko @kazubxnii @chuuyasboots @nullified-kiss @mikasackrmann @n1kolaiz @bungoustraypugs @sebtomm @scul-pted @sky-drgn

[yandere-sins]

(tumblr might eat this ask but let's give it a shot lol) its so awesome that you added bsd! could I request general hcs for yandere mafia! dazai? nsfw is ok if you wanna write that in too!

Thanks for the request! It arrived safely, no worries ^^

»»———————— ♡ ————————««   

SFW

♡ There never was a time his darling had it easy with him. You went through every stage of his life with him, only to find that he might have changed over time, but not for the better. Where there was no purpose in living for him before, you became the sole purpose for him. Even if his suicide thoughts, the violence, and the failed escapes scared you, it never kept Dazai away from invading every inch of your being. He always left you with something that would occupy your mind as much with him as his mind was occupied with you, even if he wasn’t physically tending to you. But even just the ropes he tied you up with, much too tightly to move without causing your skin to tear, made you curse him all day until he returned to your side grinning—both of you knowing you’d never get rid of him.

♡ His time in the mafia causes terrifying emotions in him, and you are a convenient punch back waiting for him unwillingly. Some days he just stares at you. For hours. He’d do it for days if he didn’t have a sense of duty tingling inside of him still. Other days, he gets physical. Crying into your shoulder as his hands roam, asking questions you can’t answer—don’t want to answer. Slaps to your face, cuts on your body. Nails that dig too deep for them to not draw blood out of you. Bones he broke just to hear the sound of them breaking. Others he broke so you wouldn’t use them anymore for acts he should punish, but Dazai denies that he’d ever punish you. Not you. Oh, not you. You saw countless people who patched you up after he roughed up your body, but you never saw them twice, and you don’t think anyone ever saw them after they treated you. Dazai confessed to killing one or two, but at that point, you were already desensitized by his tales of murder and slaughter. And yet, he’d pinch you to get a reaction from you, your flinches and shudders being his lullaby that made him sigh happily. In his arms, you were the most alive thing he ever felt, seeking your pulse as if it was his own.

♡ There’s a lot of time to think. Tied up and unable to move, speak, or see much in the dark room, all you have until Dazai comes back are your own thoughts to keep you company. Terrible, terrible company. You don’t question his feelings; perhaps you can even acknowledge them. Dazai is just really bad at the whole ‘being in a relationship’, but he actually loves you. “I love you” is an overused phrase with little meaning to you now, but you hear it every day. It’s a weakness to admit, Dazai jokes, but you are his weakness. You think so too. Otherwise, it would make no sense that he didn’t kill you yet. Threatened you, sure. Beat you up in a fit of loving, enthusiastic, maniacally rage, yes. But his hand never snapped your neck, there was never a knife at your throat or hovering over your chest, and aside from using sleeping pills and drugs on you, he was meticulously to use the correct dosage. He must love you so damn much. Because the threats of suicides are just that: threats. Even if you wished he’d disappear, he doesn’t leave you, coming home wet, bloody, absolutely disgusting. But he’s there with you, laying by your side and holding your cheek with his filthy hands, a smile on his face as he caresses you lovingly after yet another long, harsh day for both of you.

NSFW

♡ Despite it all, you don’t believe that you bring him much comfort. Perhaps, the thought of caring for you was intended to make himself feel better or make him believe there was some purpose in his life after all—namely, you. But the way he fucks you almost makes you feel like he hates you as he swears his love to you. “You’re beautiful! Amazing! Stunning!” His thrilled exclamations are hard to believe when your body is too full of drugs to move, his hand pressing his full weight onto your head and into the floor. At this stage of the night, Dazai wants nothing more than use you for his sick pleasure. For desire that he didn’t get to live out throughout the day, he must have the upper hand on something now. He’s so clever. A strategist, cunning, sly. A methodical mastermind. But his plans sometimes needed time. Time that he needs to fill with other things that would give him the same height he experiences from successfully fulfilling a master plan. It makes him into a narcissistic asshole who comes first, pumping his hot mess into you, similar to how one would use a sex doll.

♡ But he loves you. That’s the one thing he assures over and over, gripping you by your hair and elbow and pulling you back on his lap. Dazai leaves a trail of soft kisses along your spine as he tugs at both your arms, causing you to slip back onto his cock. If you weren’t so out of it already, you would have been impaled on him, unable to move out of the position. “Sing for me,” he demands sweetly, guiding you to grind your hips with his. He’s too clever than to rob you from your ability to speak, or really, less speak, but utter moans that praise him. You come to hate his ability to make you so willing, yet, adore him that he takes the time to make you cum despite it all. Sure, Dazai could have stopped after finishing. He had no reason to get you off other than that he wanted to. Yes, he wanted to hear you groan your sounds of pleasure, feel you squeeze his shaft inside of you, touch you all around your body and have his fingers melt into your skin. The answer to the question of the why? comes to you much later after he puts you down, cuddling your body instead of a blanket and sighing into your shoulder.

♡ Sex makes Dazai feel alive. Even if just for a little, perhaps just until his orgasm. He might be able to take a few more minutes of the height by making you squirm and writhe in his arms; feel your body, hear your voice. Touching you, caressing you, it’s not your satisfaction—it’s his. And he loves you, yes, because you make him feel something he can’t feel on his own. No matter where, when, how, you make him feel alive, but when he takes you like a lover would his partner, that’s when you two brim with life. Dazai loves you for it. Loves every calling of his name, the stutter in your moans. The way you taste, smell, and sound when he takes you to be his. No other man alive touches you, looks at you the same way he does. You are all his and consuming you is just another way of loving you. He’ll go down on you, top you, make you top him, anything. Dazai wants to know it all, even if he needs to drug you when you are unwilling. He’ll be your guide just so you can be his sun in the endless darkness of his soul. And you are just grateful for how many times he makes you come in one night, sending you to the little bit of heaven that you will never reach as long as you are with him.

[anti-dazai-blog]

1.2- Reccomending suicide for recreation is pretty unsafe (and other complaints)

Dazai, Atsushi, and Kunikida go to a local restaurant/ food-selling-and-serving place (not entirely sure what exactly to call it?), and this is where they spend Act Chapter one, Scene two at.

Dazai’s first offense here is clearly leeching off of Kunikida’s money, even though they make the same salary, but I’ve already discussed this at lengths in part 1.1. Of course I’ll bring it up every time he does it, but there’s really no need for me to explain why wasting someone else’s money is Not A Great Thing To Do, and an Asshole Move.

So I’ll move on to his second offense: recommending a suicide method for recreational usage. Yes, I’m referring to the “hanging health technique”/“neck hanging hygiene”/ [whatever your translation calls it]. That’s right, you might think I’m getting nitpick-y, but I assure you. I’m really, really not. Remember that time when [a certain irl US president] told everyone to drink bleach to cure COVID? And then a bunch of people drank bleach and died? Remember all the headlines saying “Man Died, Woman Hospitalized, After Taking Chloroquine As Per The President’s Instructions”? Yeah, APPARENTLY recommended fatal things to people who are seemingly unaware of what you’re saying and are taking it as solid advice might not be the safest thing to do.

And for the record, we do know that Kunikida was taking it seriously. Here, Dazai doesn’t even say his catchphrase of “just kidding 😊”. And Kunikida is interested. Kunikida’s not the only person susceptible to a Dazai-induced early death though, since we don’t know what other customers were there and listening in, thinking ���ah yes the hanging health technique! I’m gonna go try that when I get home!”. Surely not that many, but then again, if people were willing to actually DRINK LITERAL BLEACH because some absolute idiot decided to tell them it’s good for them, then. Well. I wouldn’t be surprised.

And there’s another issue here: Kunikida doesn’t just believe it, but he makes a move to write it down. Here, and in a few other instances throughout BSD, Dazai encourages Kunikida to write down his lies (either verbally encourages him, or enthusiastically explains his bullsh*t further when Kunikida takes out his notebook). It is explained that as it is, Kunikida only has a limited number of pages in his notebook, and it’s fairly difficult for him to get new ones. Is it not enough to lie to someone? Is it not enough for Dazai to lie about something as dangerous as a suicide method? Must he also waste the one thing necessary for his partner to use his ability? Listen, it’s great that we never see a situation where Kunikida just straight up runs out of pages. BUT if we do? I bet that he’d go through the pages already written on and find that half of them are full of Dazai’s compulsive lies which he thoroughly crossed out.

Now comes the question I warned you all about: how much does Dazai truly know at this point? Is he entirely aware that Atsushi’s the weretiger, or is it just a theory he’d like to test later that night? As stated in 1.1, we’ll be working under the assumption that Atsushi’s tiger alter-ego is something he already knows about.

So, given that he knows, take a look at how he talks about the tiger in front of Atsushi. It’s not just a tiger roaming the city, it’s a “man-eating” tiger, “rampaging” around the city. It hasn’t been spotted in a local field, it destroyed the field and ate all the crops.

Talking like that to anyone with an uncontrollable ability is cruel. Matters regarding what happened while the person lost control of their ability should be dealt with delicately. And Atsushi, at this point in time, isn’t even fully aware that he’s the tiger. But he’s afraid of it nonetheless, and aware that he has some sort of connection to it. He’ll know, soon enough, the truth behind the tiger’s identity. And what then? He won’t simply forget what Dazai said. When he discovers his ability, he won’t be “the tiger”. He’ll be the “rampaging, man-eating tiger”, as he was described by the first person who recognized his ability.

The two detectives Atsushi was (un)fortunate enough to run into start interrogating him about the tiger they’re after once they see his reaction (of pure terror, mind you. Of course Dazai wouldn’t care, but really Kunikida you can do better. I know you care about your job but this is a scared child you’re dealing with. No need to body-slam him to the floor. Really. You were a school teacher. I expect better from you.). Anyway. The detectives start interrogating Atsushi regarding what he knows about the tiger. Once again, we’re assuming Dazai already knows all of this. So, given he knows all of this, why bother forcing Atsushi to rehash something that’s clearly traumatic for him? Does Dazai’s desire to appear ignorant so he can send Kunikida on a pointless errand later really outway any sense he has (he has none) regarding bringing up such a topic to the one person who has the biggest bucket of trauma from it?

Dazai’s final move in this scene is “recruiting” Atsushi to help with capturing the tiger. Other than the obvious complaint of “why wasn’t he upfront with Atsushi about the true identity of the tiger from the start” (which I already went into in part 1.1), I’d like to focus on something else here. Dazai’s offer of money.

First off, how does he suddenly have the money to offer now, when he couldn’t even pay for the food? I know he “lost his wallet in the river”, so he wouldn’t have any physical cash on him while still being capable of offering up money he’d pay later, but if he has money then why not spend some on reimbursing Kunikida? It’s basic decency— when you borrow money from someone, you don’t go around spending money on random stuff you don’t need until you pay the person back. Same rule applies here. Considering Atsushi’s reaction, he would have been equally satisfied with half the money.

And on that note, why offer such an unreasonably large amount? Yes, Atsushi is Very Much Broke, and he definitely needs the money. But Dazai’s whole presentation of it— of showing him he can give away such a large amount without a second thought— it comes off as, what, condescending? Patronizing? Neither of those are exactly the word I’m looking for. But I’ve spent my fair share of time around rich people— they do sh*t like that all the time. It’s. Well. It’s gross, for lack of better terms. It’s gross when they act like you’ve got no money at all just ‘cause you’ve got less than them, and try to give you money if you don’t have any on you, and are all like “oh, don’t worry :) you don’t have to pay me back ;)” in that condescending sort of way. That’s exactly the vibe I get from the way Dazai treats Atsushi here. The whole “Oh, there’s this thing you’re refusing to do? Well, I bet I could pay you to do it 😊” song and dance that People With Money like to do.

How much money does Dazai have anyway? Does he still have his mafia money? For some strange reason I can’t exactly imagine him donating it all to charity. I wonder what he even does with it?

Anyway. As a final note that I’ll be ending every part of the Anti-Dazai series on: Before BSD is over, I’d love to see him pay in full for all that he has done (both monetarily and. Y’know. In the karma sense of “pay”). 

<Prev.  Next>

[qu1nby]

14 + skk for the drabble thing? ✨

FINN! I'm sorry this took so long!

14. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

It's time for a bit of angst (with a happy ending)

Where...?

It took Dazai a moment to regain his senses. The series of explosions had thrown him hard enough to knock him unconscious for God only knows how long. The world around him was quiet. He could remember an enemy -- no, several enemies. Chuuya... and screaming...

Where was Chuuya? Dazai couldn't hear him anymore.

No.

Had they used corruption? Dazai couldn't remember. There was so much debris -- it was possible. It was much more than possible. His head swam as he tried to stand. Tried. It took several attempts before he was able to stumble up and into the ruined warehouse. The smell of gasoline and gunpowder washed over him.

"Chuuya?"

His throat was dry. His head was bleeding and his body ached. The surrounding building had been torn to bits, yes, but that could be blamed on the gas explosion. There were no obvious signs that Chuuya had used corruption. No Chuuya, either. There was no sound other than his own coughing and distant sirens. They didn't have much time before the area was swarming with police.

"Hello?"

No response. Dazai shouted as loud as his burning throat would allow, but the answer remained the same.

He told himself that there could be many reasons why Chuuya wasn't responding. Maybe Dazai had been out for longer than he thought, and Chuuya went home without him. Or maybe he was dead, buried under the rubble--

The sirens were close now and so loud that Dazai almost did not hear the weak cough or the string of angry curses that followed. He tripped over piles of bricks and bodies, his heart racing when he spotted that familiar red-orange hair.

"Hurts like a bitch..." Chuuya muttered. His leg was definitely broken, bent at an odd angle and half-buried under a pile of bricks.

His partner, who was so, so pale. He refused to look at Dazai, his cheeks stained with tears.

Chuuya had a high pain tolerance -- Dazai had sparred with him enough to know.

"Hold on, I'll go get help."

Where was his phone? There were always public phones, but Dazai had no idea where the nearest one was. "I'll be back," He told Chuuya as he stood.

"Don't leave me here, asshole!" Chuuya sounded desperate. His voice was high and scratchy, like a child with a bad cold. "I thought you were dead," he added quietly. He looked at Dazai like he could disappear at any moment.

He looked at Dazai like he didn't entirely trust that the other man wouldn't leave him to die.

Oh. The thought that Chuuya may have been as worried as he was had never occurred to Dazai.

When Dazai didn't respond Chuuya tried to move on his own but fell back, wincing in pain. Dazai wasn't sure he could even stand.

"Calm down, I'm going to look for a phone."

Chuuya didn't look very convinced. The only way Dazai was going to be able to leave was if he took Chuuya with him, or the other man would end up killing himself trying to move on his own. His hands bled as he helped Chuuya free himself from the debris.

"Hey," Dazai began, then paused. He wasn't sure how to say what he was thinking, but the way Chuuya had looked at him when he said he was going to leave... it hurt. He didn't know why, but it did.

"I'm with you, okay? Always."

The two limped out of the ruined building together, Dazai's arm around Chuuya's waist.

------

mid-writing I had another idea with this same prompt where Chuuya drunkenly tells ADA Dazai that he'll always be there for him and Dazai thinks something like I hope I can say the same.

[crow-writes-stuff]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: takes place after Dazai left the PM, Chuuya calls Dazai, Voicemail, Caring Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Swears (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs) Summary:

Messages Chuuya left on Dazai's phone during the two years he spent in hiding before joining the ADA.

"You have thirty-one new messages." Two years. It's been two years since Dazai last opened his voicemail. He thought that there might be a few from the beginning, but this is certainly more than expected.

He presses play, and a familiar voice snarls at him: "Hey, asshole, where the fuck are you? The meeting starts in two minutes, get your ass over here!" Oh... this is actually from the day he left the Port Mafia.

The next few messages are all from that same day. "Are you fucking serious? Since when do you just not show up at all? I had to cover for your ass."

"Seriously man, where are you? You can't just make me do all your work, you know. I'm coming over to your place once I'm done here."

Chuuya is quieter in the last one: "Dazai, where are you? Did you even get home last night? Don't tell me you actually fucking killed yourself. Call me."

There are two messages from the very next day: "Fuck, are you even getting these messages? Or are just ignoring me? I had to tell the boss that I don't know where you are. I think he's pissed, but, you know... kinda hard to tell."

"Dazai, are you actually gone?"

The day after, Chuuya's voice is quiet: "The boss officially branded you as traitor today... Are you?"

The next messages are spread over a few days. "They went through your stuff. I think the boss thought for a while that I know where you are. He's stopped asking now..." There is a pause before Chuuya continues: "Fuck, if I knew, I would have already come and kicked your ass."

"You're such a fucking asshole, you know that? Just disappearing like that." A pause and then a quiet: "You're still alive, right?"

"I think the boss has people tailing me. Thanks, asshole. This your fault."

"They stopped watching me, I think. I guess, the boss actually believes that I have no clue now."

There is a significant gap in time between this and the previous message. "The search for you has officially been called off. We're still supposed to keep an eye out, but no one's actively looking anymore." Chuuya pauses for a moment. "Honestly, I don't know if I should be relieved or pissed off." He laughs dryly. "Fuck it. You still piss me off."

There is nothing on one message. Just the quiet static the phone generates.

The messages get fewer and fewer over time.

"Ha... I'm an idiot, huh? Don't even know why I keep calling; you're not listening anyway."

This message starts with heavy breathing before Chuuya speaks: "Ngh, don't listen to this, I just need a distraction. ...Fuck, this hurts. I'm blaming you, by the way. Wouldn't have happened if you hadn't fucked off." He takes a shuddering breath. "Shit. I probably should get this looked at, huh? ...Fuck."

It takes a while before Chuuya starts speaking, his voice oddly quiet: "Dazai, are you still alive? Do these messages go through? I... I don't know why I keep asking. It's pointless anyway. " He sighs. "Even if they did, you don't care, huh? You just left... Left all of us. And I have to deal with the mess you made... As always." There is a slight rasp to his voice as he continues: "Akutagawa's been a fucking wreck, not that you'd care. You really messed him up." There is a long pause, and Dazai almost wonders if Chuuya forgot to stop the recording. "I don't know how to deal with any of this... Fuck, why am I still talking?"

"Hey... it's been a while. Ha, I say that as if you'd listen. It's stupid, I know but... It's been almost a year since you disappeared. I don't know why I feel so... so... I don't know. Conflicted? Ane-san said that's to be expected. I don't get it. I should be fucking glad that you're finally gone for good." Chuuya sighs. "Sometimes, I am. Mostly, it's just weird. The boss tried to get me a new partner for a while. That, uh, that didn't work out. I don't need one anyway. It's not like I needed you in the first place. So... " He stays quiet for a moment. "I just wanted to say, if you're still out there... Fuck you."

The next message follows almost half a year later. "You, you bastard." Chuuya is clearly drunk in this one. "You fucking asshole. You just left. You seriously just left." There is the distinct clinking of glass on glass. Perhaps Chuuya has put down his drink. His voice gets quieter after the initial outburst. "You left without a fucking word. Did I really mean nothing to you? Did, did these years mean fucking nothing?" He sniffs quietly. "I thought we were friends, asshole." Chuuya sighs. The glass makes another sound before Chuuya audibly swallows. Probably drinking wine. "Guess I was wrong. You didn't give a shit about me, did you? No, you only cared about Oda and yourself. That's why you left, right? Because the one person you gave a shit about kicked the bucket. Doesn't matter what the rest of us think or feel." The glass shatters. Chuuya stays quiet for a while. "Fuck. Well, at least it was empty." He laughs humorlessly. "Just like everything else." He sighs. "I guess... I guess I'm glad you're gone. I know the boss did some shit to you. You never talked about it, but I'm not as stupid as you think, asshole. Sometimes I just wish..." There is a long pause. Very quietly, Chuuya adds: "I miss you sometimes."

There is another message from the day after. Chuuya sounds worn out when he speaks: "Fucking hell. My phone says I called you last night. Can't remember a thing. And I can't delete whatever I said." He sighs. "I mean, I guess you won't listen to it anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Whatever."

Time passes until the following message. "-it. That's not-" Chuuya sounds frantic, there is gunfire in the background. "Fuck, I need to-" The message gets cut off.

A second message from the same day starts only with breathing and a steady dripping sound. "Ane-san? Can you- can you hear me? Fuck, I can't see. Is this even the right number? Shit. Where even-" Chuuya coughs, causing a quiet splattering sound. "Fuck, she's gonna kill me if I die here - Wait..." He pauses. "I think I lost more blood than I thought..."

Two days later, Chuuya has called again: "I'm alive, not that you'd care. I'm only calling because I've got nothing else to do. Got put on bedrest. Ane-san's gonna bring me some books later but right now I'm bored." There is some quiet fabric rustling. "And I'm alone, so no one else to talk to. At least I can pretend that I'm talking to someone like this. So..." Chuuya trails off for a moment. "Crap, now I don't know what to say." He sighs. "I guess, I'm wondering once again if you're still alive. Which sucks, because I'd honestly rather not think about you at all. We've got some reports that claim to have spotted you, but no follow-up worked out. Which doesn't surprise me." He grumbles something unintelligible. "I still sometimes get people asking me about you. As if I'd know anything! Akutagawa actually tried to threaten me at one point for information." Chuuya snorts. "He didn't try that again, that's for sure." There is a knock in the background. "Huh?" Chuuya startles. "Uh, yeah, co-" The message ends abruptly.

There is only one message left. It's barely a week old. "Hey," Chuuya says, voice calm. "It's been two years since you left. I think I'm used to it by now. Fucked up that it took me so long, honestly." He pauses. "You know, wherever you are, I hope you feel better than you did here. It was probably for the best that you got out when you did. I know, you would have never admitted it, but you were falling apart. I don't think many people noticed. But I did. Because, I think, that's what partners are supposed to do. Not that you were good at that." He huffs a quiet laugh. "Maybe I'm not giving you enough credit. You noticed way too much stupid shit. But I think you missed some important stuff, too. For instance, the fact that I did actually care about you. I know, surprised me too!" Chuuya hums quietly. "So, if you're still alive, take care of yourself. You always sucked at that. I won't leave another message. It's time to move on." After a short pause, he adds: "Goodbye, Dazai."

Dazai keeps staring at his phone for a while after the last message has ended. Chuuya had tried to reach him over these past two years. Multiple times. Perhaps, Dazai really did overlook some things. He smiles, as he types in the number he's heard so often in the past few hours.

He's greeted by a familiar recording: "Can't talk right now, leave a message if it's important." "Hey Chuuya~," Dazai says, voice cheerful. "Check out the Armed Detective Agency."

"You have one new message." Dazai grins a few hours later as he looks at his phone.

"You fucking asshole. Welcome back."

[aarcanechaoss]

☆ Silence ☆

Atsushi Nakajima angst

Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter

'Cause all my life, I've been fighting

Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh

And all this time, I've been hiding

Atsushi felt incredibly alone even when surrounded by people he knew. It was an awful feeling to have- he absolutely loathed it. He loathed the internal pain he felt when Kyoka smiled at him, when Dazai told him he did well, when Kenji and Yosano offered affectionate hugs and even when the director would pat him on the head- he just felt empty.

He was grateful don’t get him wrong but... he needed something to fill in the gaps. Ranpo’s offerings of food couldn’t help either sadly and all Kunikida did these days was yell at him. Was he.. was he really nothing? Did he deserve to feel happy with these people?

And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah

I'm so used to sharing

Love only left me alone

He doesn’t remember his parents or how they left him. He remembers the sick words of the headmaster saying they threw him away in a garbage bag. He remembers cold rooms and locked doors and thin blankets. He remembers crying every night until he would pass out unceremoniously as that was the only was he could get sleep.

If he wanted something the other kids had to share it with him- and that was so unlikely but when the ADA shared with him it didn’t feel like pity or because they had to- it was because they wanted to. That fact just didn’t make any sense to the orphan.

He’d clutch his chest and sleep facing the wall of the cupboard, tears would flow silently so as to not wake Kyoka. He knows they all care but he just- he just can’t seem to function with that idea just yet after all he’s been through he’s naive and he knows it- Akutagawa of all people don’t need to point that out to him.

But I'm at one with the silence

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Silence was Atsushi’s favourite. The silence after a storm, the silence after the ADA would pack up for the day and the silence after missions with Akutagawa.

“Weretiger.” Akutagawa spoke with refinement and almost regality- Atsushi didn’t understand why he thought Atsushi had it good, didn’t understand why he found him pathetic for being so scared (considering his past).

“Yes Akutagawa?” He said softly whilst staring out the window of the train back to Yokohama station. Silence followed... not one Atsushi was comfortable with so he turned to look at the dark haired man across from him.

Akutagawa seethed but it seemed his mouth moved faster than his own mind. “What’s wrong?” Atsushi froze for a millisecond.

“Nothing.” He said almost bitterly. If he was going to tell anyone shit like Hell it would be the asshole who wants him dead.

“You’ve been quieter on missions the last few weeks. At first I assumed it was to do with you training or something of the like but I’ve grown used to hearing your mindless chatter on the train... so I ask again what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said emotionlessly. “I thought you didn’t like when I was pathetic and annoying so I am simply doing my best to keep my partner happy... this is our stop goodbye Akutagawa.”

The mafioso could only stare after the weretiger as he walked off, a frown etched into his porcelain like features.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

I've been quiet for too long

I've been quiet for too long

Shit shit shit this was bad. It was like the room was spinning and merging with the colours in the room. Atsushi tried to steady his hand as it shook harshly. His breathing would definitely give him away if he didn’t calm down. Kunikida was yelling again, at Atsushi this time repremanding him for the mission with Akutagawa for almost getting stabbed... again. He should be used to this he thought, being yelled at is normal right?

It wasn’t in this case. Even Dazai thought Kunikida was being over dramatic and saw just how uncomfortable Atsushi was. He noticed the shaking hands and the almost dazed look in his eyes but before he could say anything Atsushi was up and out of the room saying he needed to speak with the president and if it weren’t for Yosano’s instinct to check on him no one would have followed him out.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Panic attacks were horrible. Atsushi hated that he couldn’t control them, hated the feeling that loomed in his mind and body and fuck even his soul felt like shit. Yosano’s voice echoed outside the small office that the ADA used as a storage room she knew he was in there yet he could hear someone else but couldn’t quiet- the president shit.

Atsushi tried to straighten himself out in case the two walked in but let’s be honest he couldn’t cover the red puffy eyes or make up a story as to why he was in their storage room.

“Atsushi?” Yosano said softly as she clicked open the door. Atsushi bit his lip and kept his face in his hands- don’t look at them, don’t look at them, they’ll think you are pathetic and weak. You’ll cry again don’t do that. “Atsushi can the president and I sit with you?”

He nodded, the nod was small but the doctor and president saw and came to his side. Fukuzawa placed a calming hand on the young man’s back only for Atsushi to flinch and melt into his hand as Fukuzawa rubbed calming circles on his back. Yosano gripped onto his hands.

Fukuzawa nearly froze when his hand found the ridges of deep scaring on the small young man’s side and gave Yosano a side glance.

“Atsushi I want you to tell me the truth alright.” Yosano started. “You can’t lie to me I know the signs of a panic attack when I see one and we also know you’ve not been feeling well. Kyoka came to me telling me you’d been crying to sleep. We’re here to help.”

“You don’t need to tell us the whole truth my boy.” Fukuzawa adds. If the president is honest he began to see Atsushi from a fatherly perspective but being his boss has made it awkward to try and initiate that. Atsushi sighed and shook. Yosano squeezed his hand comfortingly. He struggled to find the words before settling on something- a lyric to a song he heard the other day that resonated so heavily.

“I'm in need of a savior, but I'm not asking for favors. My whole life, I've felt like a burden. I think too much, and I hate it. I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring. Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence.”

His body shook as he choked out the words. It felt good to admit them but at the same time- his arms itched in a way that wasn’t healthy he wanted to scratch and scratch until the feeling stopped but Yosano was holding his hands.

“Oh Atsushi no.” Yosano said. “You mean so much to us- you are in no way shape or form a burden. You are like the little brother I’ve always wanted thinking isn’t bad only if you keep it to yourself. We are here for you.”

“I haven’t been able to speak to you about this-“ The president started. “But I think of you as almost a son like I do Ranpo. I wish I would have spoken to you earlier about that and I must say I wish we were closer I’m sorry I never saw signs of you not feeling well.”

“I- thank-you.” Atsushi cried. “No one... no one ever wanted me before. It’s hard to want to live when all you are told is horrible things. I wanted to- I almost don’t want to keep going.” He admits.

Yosano and Fukuzawa’s eyes widen and pull Atsushi in for a hug in the most sisterly and fatherly way they could.

“If it’s okay please don’t tell the others. I’m not ready for them to know.”

“Okay.”

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Fukuzawa and Yosano kept a closer eye on Atsushi from then on. He was thankful they made him feel wanted. They’d force him to take breaks and take him or for dinners. Fukuzawa often invited himself over to his dorm with gifts of food and such- his excuse to Kyoka was that he saw Atsushi as a son and she accepted it because well it was the truth.

After some particularly rough missions it was becoming obvious to Yosano that Atsushi was pushing himself to exhaustion to finish them. Akutagawa has even forced himself to walk with the weretiger to the ADA headquarters much to Atsushi’s distain. The damn mafioso was actually worried since he nearly died... again and all Atsushi did was snap at him.

Yosano offered her comforting hugs to Atsushi and sharp words with the Mafioso. Let’s just say Akutagawa left knowing something new about the weretiger. He now knew Atsushi was suffering from something- was he being an asshole and thinking he was weak. Yes. Why? Because he’s an asshole. Even his own sister was worried for the damn boy it was annoying.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

Dazai knee something was wrong. He had to it’s Dazai. Atsushi’s lacklustre efforts and near suicidal approaches to missions proved it. Dazai wasn’t good with words and in no way did he know what to say... like;

“Hey Atsushi do you want to die or something?” Doesn’t sit right as a question to give. The tall man noticed how close he was to the president and the doctor- after his clear panic attack - and it was doing him some good but it didn’t stop him from worrying especially since he boy mumbled a lot to himself and Dazai had started listening to said mumbles.

“Burden.... hate it.... wrong.... die in a ditch.... give up give up give up.”

How do you ask someone if they want to keep living?

I've been quiet for too long

Ranpo was known for his damn ability. Ranpo knee he fucking knew but he never said anything- mostly because when he went to tell the president he merely shushed him and said to keep quiet about it. He doesn’t worry for anyone... he gets bored and has no attachments and doesn’t bother tying to be friendly with the orphan but being told to keep something this heavy quiet weighed on Ranpo’s shoulders. He hated it.

He cornered Atsushi on his break and told him he knew and that he hadn’t told anyone. He told him to be strong and brave because he was loved by the other members and he told him the bridges often led to being saved as well.

Bridges....

I've been quiet for too long

Junichiro didn’t know Atsushi as well as he would have liked. He didn’t and he wasn’t going to pretend he did but seeing the boy like this for the first time he didn’t expect him to suddenly be so small and thin and drained of all energy- what did Dazai do this time? He thought wantonly. He didn’t expect to see him at the Yokohama bridge staring at the water. He didn’t expect to see him so sad.

“Ranpo was right.” He whispered looking towards the ginger man. “Bridges can lead us to being saved as well.”

“What? How about we go get something to eat and then we call Dazai to come get you.” Junichiro suggested.

“No. No calling anyone. I’m tired Junichiro.” He said. The ginger man shuffled awkwardly. He smiled at him and began to walk away, Junichiro following at his heels leading them both to a familiar building. The ADA headquarters.

“Why are we here?”

“Atsushi?” The presidents voice reverbed in the walls of the hall as he left his office.

With that Atsushi broke down. “I need help.” He admitted.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

[inner-dreamscape]

Pink Skies pt. 2

Title: Sirens

Part One

Also posted on AO3

The electrical buzzing of the blinking 'VANCANCY' sign outside the motel was hypnotizing. Chuuya stared blankly down at his hands, splayed open in the red light, then splayed out in the darkness when the sign blinked back off again. Again and again, his hands appeared in a haunting cycle, each time the same. Nothing changed. Nothing he did afterwards changed the fact that his hands were stained red.

It was a day to celebrate but Chuuya couldn't fathom the happiness the others felt at his first successive kill. He had to leave. He had to escape. So, he ran back to the motel room the first opportunity he got and he spent the next two hours burning his skin under a hot shower and wasting all the soap in trying to clean the red from his hands. But no matter what he did, he couldn't erase it. Couldn't wash the stink and the stickiness away. That red clung to his skin as if that person's soul haunted him for what he had done.

His hands trembled, or maybe it was his entire body. He didn't know. He wanted to cry but the shock and disgust and the urge to scream all warred within him that no tears were able to be shed. So he just sat there, on the floor next to the single bed, staring at his hands. He couldn't look away from them, didn't want to look away. Afraid that looking away would dismiss the act that he had committed. That it would devalue a human's life even if that human was rotten to the core.

He didn't know how long he had stayed there but before he knew it, the sun was rising and the red light was washed out. The only thing left were his clean palms.

Just like that.

--

Chuuya peeled a hand away from hugging his knees to stare down at them. Without his gloves on, they were the same as back then, clean and devoid of any blood. But he knew better.

The guy he managed to track down went down easily enough. It was easy to set his death up like a suicide. So wracked with guilt about putting an innocent man in critical care that he ended up hanging himself. Too late to be saved before the cops descended on him to arrest him for the drunken hit and run. He only hated that he couldn't have made a mess out of him, for Dazai.

For Oda.

It's been a whole week since Oda got out of critical care. Ango and Kunikida have been taking turns watching over the kids, with Dazai helping out whenever he wasn't by Oda's side at the hospital. The first 3 days, it took both him and Ango to drag Dazai out of the hospital room in order for Chuuya to take him home to sleep. It became easier to convince Dazai to leave once Oda woke up to tell him himself.

True to Chuuya's prediction, the first meal Oda asked for was curry. Thankfully, the nurse scheduled was able to dissuade him from breaking doctor's orders. From then on, all the nurses assigned to him had to keep an eye on the visitors to make sure none of them brought in contraband food. They kept a very strong eye on Ango, much to the man’s chagrin.

Despite the emergency surgery Oda had to go under, he escaped the crash with internal abdominal injuries, a broken arm and leg, bruised ribs and a heavy concussion. He would have to undergo physical therapy once his arm and leg healed, but the doctors were hopeful that there wouldn't be any lasting damage. Chuuya was glad. He didn’t know how he would have handled Dazai if there had been lasting damage. The scars and disabilities reminders about how they both had failed to protect family.

The noise from the shitty TV suddenly rose in volume as the characters on screen screamed at each other. He wasn't really paying attention to it, having it on as background noise. It was one of those rare days that their neighbors were away and the floor was blessedly silent. The thin walls left little to the imagination and privacy a thing to be missed. But that night, he couldn't take it. The silence. So, the TV was on.

It helped to distract his raging nerves and anxiousness. But it could only help for so long. Flipping through the limited channels, nothing caught his attention that he could fully immerse himself in. Even the game system he and Dazai scrimped and saved up for, for a joint Christmas present to themselves (and to be honest, the kids for when they visited), didn't seem enticing. He sat there, watching the over acted drama play out on the small screen. By the time the protagonist was making her exit, he had fully chewed his thumb nail down to the skin.

His partner was still visiting Oda and would probably stay there until the nurses kicked him out after visiting hours were over. Maybe he had time to go out and buy some cheap wine before Dazai came back. He had finished his stock yesterday, using liquid courage to help him finish his plan. Perhaps he could get drunk and go to bed early, forget about today and not worry about tomorrow. He means, Dazai knew he was planning something like this right? Chuuya wasn't part of the goody-goody two shoes agency so he didn't have to feel guilty over what Dazai would think. If anything, he knew almost exactly what Dazai would think. That wasn’t the problem. No. What was the problem was that he killed when he didn't have to. He killed when he promised Oda that he wouldn't become a killer like the rest of the gang. He killed when he knew for a fact that Oda wouldn't have wanted him to kill the guy that ran into him. He would have wanted Chuuya to leave it to the police and let the justice system get justice for him.

But he had promised Dazai first. He had promised himself first. That he would do anything in his power and position to keep the two of them safe from the shadows of the underworld. He stayed in the Port Mafia to thwart any and all future attempts at the two traitors should they become a target again. He stayed to keep an eye on other organizations that might deem the agency an enemy.

Dazai might argue that Chuuya was doing exactly what he was supposed to do. Nothing more and nothing less. Chuuya would be deeply inclined to agree with his partner.

Still. What was done, was done and Chuuya had to live with that for the rest of his life. He was prepared to carry that burden. Maybe he could coerce Dazai into keeping this fact a secret between them. What's one more amongst many?

His other thumb nail was gone now too. His spiraling thoughts had taken him out of the false calm he had acquired from the mindless reality TV he had settled on. He was fidgety. Angsty. He couldn't quite stop the bouncing of his leg as he stared hard at the grainy screen. God, if only he had a cigarette to chew on…

"I'm home!" Chuuya strangled a curse. He let it loose anyway once he saw the blood beading up on his thumb.

Dazai stood in the genkan, brown eyes focused on him as he removed his shoes. Chuuya ignored him, sticking his thumb in his mouth to suck the blood away. He made a face at the metallic flavor that coated his tongue. He didn’t think he had bitten so hard.

"Chuuya's not going to say 'Welcome home'?" Dazai whined, hefting the takeout bag onto the coffee table. "Even after I went out of my way to bring him food?" He directed a pout at the redhead, hoping for some sympathy.

"Welcome home, asshole." Chuuya grumbled, rummaging through the food containers to sort out their own. It was Dazai’s turn to pick up food anyways, so he got no pity from him.

"Hm."

It was Chinese that night. Peeking into each of the cartons, he found sesame chicken, pork fried rice, white rice, kung pao beef, egg rolls and some lin yueng bau. He claimed the fried rice, kung poa and lin yueng bau for himself, pushing the rest to the other side of him for Dazai. He dug in.

"Chuuya." Dazai called, still standing from the spot beside the couch.

He grunted, mouth stuffed with spicy kung pao and eyes glued to the TV. He knew that tone of voice. He was the ‘we need to have a serious talk’ voice because they were doing that now. Talking. No more secrets between them, they had decided. He was going to try to waylay the inevitable but Dazai hadn’t been known as the Demon Prodigy for nothing.

"Chuuya." Dazai called again, reaching a hand out to turn the red heads face towards him.

Chuuya swallowed down his food, lips pulling down into a frown. "What."

Dazai stared at him intently, getting that furrow between his brows when he was displeased with something. The look made Chuuya bristle. A callus free thumb swiped the splattering of sauce off of puffy lips. A pink tongue couldn't help but dart out and lick the digit. Appalled at his own tongue, Chuuya ripped his chin away from Dazai's soft hands.

"What?" He asked again, annoyed.

"What's wrong with Chuuya." And wasn't that a loaded question.

"Nothing's wrong with me. Sit down and eat already." He took his own advice and went back to eating.

Dazai sat down, but didn't make any moves to eat. He was still staring at Chuuya and Chuuya had no doubt in his mind that Dazai was figuring things out. He always did. He was the only person in the whole world who understood him to his core and he him in return. So he knew that Dazai was gearing up to have a serious talk, but honesty? Chuuya didn't want to have it. Yeah, he knew he would have to discuss this at some point, but not right now. Not tonight. His refusal to look at Dazai signified that.

The slender hand reached out again, this time, grabbing for the takeout carton. Chuuya made a noise a protest, but ultimately had to let it go if he didn't want the beef and bell pepper to fall from his chopsticks. He watched as the container was set back onto the table with the rest of the food. He slowly ate the rest from his chopsticks to prolong the conversation.

"You killed someone." Dazai stated, not asked. Because he knew. Chuuya didn't have to ask how he came to that conclusion. Dazai's seen him plenty of times after missions where he was forced to kill someone in self-defense and Chuuya was exhibiting those habits right in front of him. "Who was it?"

"No one you know." His leg started bouncing again. ‘When had it stopped?’

"Liar."

Chuuya glared. "It's true! It's not someone you know." Technically it was true. Dazai didn't know that guy's name. Chuuya didn't know either but to-ma-to, to-mah-to.

"But I know of them. You're more…keyed up than usual. That only happens when it's someone we have in common." A light seemed to go off in his head. "It was that guy."

"What guy?" His heart beat faster. He knew.

"The one that hit Oda." One look at Chuuya's face confirmed his answer. He smirked lightly. "I'm right."

"Whatever." He mumbled, reaching for the food.

Dazai stopped him. Chuuya groaned, leaning back into the couch.

"How did you do it?" Chuuya didn't like the look that infiltrated those brown eyes. ‘He shouldn’t have those thoughts’ he remembered thinking once. More than once because old habits die hard, and yes it was a habit. Until Dazai taught himself better, he knew the other would still be having them. And hadn’t that been the part of the reason he had stayed in the Port Mafia in the first place? To protect the both of them but also to help foster that new outlook on life; that life was worth something more than the pain and suffering of others at your hands.

Discussing this situation was going to be hard without bringing Dazai’s bloodlust back out from wherever it was buried. But Dazai had agreed to Chuuya’s terms of handling the guy himself, so it was a start.

"No. We are not going to talk about this. I'm not going to tell you how."

"I can always look it up." He threatened.

"Not if I ask you not too. And not if you want to keep this just between us." Chuuya fired back.

"Are you?"

"What? Going to ask you not to look it up?" Dazai nodded.

Chuuya remained silent, thinking about his answer. He wanted to say yes. Keep everything buried deep down under, and he knew that Dazai would take his request seriously. But that's how things ruined. It would fester and fester until it was eating him up inside. Until there was nothing else left inside him. Didn't they say the best thing for a wound to heal was to let it breathe?

Letting Dazai look up the information saved him from having to say everything out loud. And wasn't he just a right coward for thinking it in actuality.

He wasn't a coward.

"No. No I'm not." And Dazai smiled at him, pleased. They've come a long way into their relationship. "But I am asking that you not do it right away. I'll tell you. Later. Just…not right now, okay?"

"Okay." Dazai slid the hand that was holding Chuuya's arm, down until he was holding Chuuya's hand in his own. He gave the smaller one a reassuring squeeze. "That’s all I ask."

Chuuya silently nodded.

"Are you still hungry?" Their food was probably already cold.

"Not that much, no." He lost most of his appetite at the mention of his heinous deed.

The leg that was not curled up on the couch supporting their hands was still bouncing. It stilled briefly at the heavy sigh that escaped from Dazai. The other's hand left his for a moment, fishing in his back pocket for something. Chuuya silently missed the warmth.

Dazai pulled out an unfamiliar packet of cigarettes. He shook one out, gripping it with his mouth and pulling before shaking another out and offering it to Chuuya. It strangely reminded Chuuya of the morning in front of the hospital.

‘A lot of things are.’

Curiously, he took the cigarette, holding it up to his nose to sniff it. There was a fruity scent about it, different from the spice and tobacco from their usual. Seeing the question on his partner's face, Dazai told him, "They're new. The company just came out with them a month ago; fruit flavors. That one's strawberry." The painted ring underneath the filter was red. Looking over, Dazai's was yellow. Lemon.

Dazai pulled out a lighter and lit his, taking a deep breath to get the smoke going. The scent of lemons surrounded them as smoke escaped those parted lips. Intrigued and impatient, Chuuya leaned forward with his own cigarette tucked between his lips, pressing the tip against the smoldering end of Dazai's.

He didn't notice the deep inhale from Dazai, or the widening of his brown eyes. Instead, he focused on keeping the tips pressed together, trying to light his own. After a few seconds, the cigarette started catching. He moved back a little to see if it was enough when his eyes caught Dazai's. Blue eyes took in the heated look that covered Dazai's face.

The scents of lemon mixed with strawberry wafted into their noses as Chuuya's started burning. Slowly, Dazai reached out to pluck the stick from Chuuya's mouth and his own before crashing his lips onto the shorter.

Chuuya could have sworn he heard Dazai mutter into his mouth, "Beautiful" as he returned the kiss.

The kissing didn't last long and the strawberry stick was shoved back into his mouth. Rolling his eyes, he took a drag, tasting the flavor on his tongue. It was tart from the taste of Dazai and lemon, and Chuuya couldn't bring himself to hate it.

"I like the strawberry." He said at last, taking another taste.

He felt a weight on his left side as Dazai tipped over, resting his head on Chuuya's shoulder.

"Hm, I like the lemon." Dazai smiled, releasing the smoke in Chuuya's face.

"It's sour like you, no wonder." The redhead teased.

"And you're red, your point?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Shut up, shitty mackerel."

They spent the rest of the evening bickering and watching trash TV, cuddled into each other. They didn't talk about the drunk driver again that night, thankfully. When they crawled into bed around 2 in the morning Chuuya felt like himself again. He peeled his hands away from Dazai's back to look at them once more. They were clean. Sighing, he cuddled Dazai closer to himself, burying his face into fluffy brown hair. There will always be blood on his hands, whether they were clean or not, but he had Dazai there to help with the burden of it. That was all he could ask for.

The distant sound of sirens, filtered faintly into their bedroom.

[aka-efirg]

of god and... god

dazai is free. dostoevsky is free. chuuya is not. after years of living with the god right beside him but always beyond reach, one week in the clutch of a self-proclaimed god suffices to break the barrier between the god and the human

triggers : non-consensual drug use ; implied/referenced torture ; implied/referenced rape

ao3

“It seems you’re lucid again despite the drugs.”

“It seems your drugs don’t work anymore. Maybe you shouldn’t have used the same ones for a whole week. You didn’t do your homework? My body takes around a week to grow accustomed to a drug.”

“How unfortunate. Maybe I shouldn’t have underestimated Dazai’s strongest piece.”

The sound of chains breaking can be heard and in one second the redhead is in front of Fyodor, a hand on his throat.

“Be careful with what you’re saying. Dazai and you think the game is solely between you and the lot of us are just pieces. You geniuses are so annoying.” While speaking, Chuuya moves and is now straddling the russian’s lap, his arms around his neck. “I’m no one’s strongest piece, neither queen, nor even trump card. And certainly not Dazai’s. I’m my own player. Both of you better remember that from now.”

“You are now?” Fyodor is looking straight at the mesmerizing blue eyes. When he’s got his hand on the redhead, he has not planned things will turn this way. But it is far from being unpleasing for him. If not, it’s just making things more interesting. “Yet you seem to play by Dazai’s game.”

The look the mafioso throws at the russian is fierce enough to pin Fyodor to his chair. However his expression is openly interested, wanting to see how things will unfold. The redhead seems to catch his feelings because the frown on his face subtly deepens. 

“I play along, not by. You are threatening my city and the people I care about. So if following Dazai’s plan can ensure your demise, I’m willing to do it.”

“Such harsh words.”

Fyodor brings his hand to the other’s face and draws an imaginary line from the cheekbone to the jawline, reveling in the way the redhead seems to lean at the touch. Not unlike a cat, Fyodor thinks, amused. Sometimes biting and hissing. Sometimes demanding and purring. 

The second Chuuya realizes what he’s doing, he withdraws. Leaving hanging in the air the hand that was previously gently stroking his face. Fyodor even swears he hears the redhead hissing. Not that it will be enough to deter him. On the contrary. He grabs the mafioso’s chin and maintains his head so that their eyes are bored into each other’s.

Amethyst into sapphire. He takes several seconds to relish the sea of emotions, so vivid and captivating. How the the redhead is not afraid of showing them is a strange concept. It makes him wonder what it is like to feel so strongly. Is the mafioso not overwhelming? Is it not incapacitating to have so many emotions that can go against reason and logic?

How can one think rationally if they are filled with anger or despair? How can they hope winning if they can not do what has to be done? If one is not ready to sacrifice those beneath them, they are just going to die, along the very ones they want to protect.

So he doesn’t understand how the one before him can be an Executive and still feeling and caring so vigorously. You would think someone who works under Mori Ōgai and had Dazai Osamu as their partner would have learned to hide their emotions.

But no, because these very emotions that should not be in the open are flashing so fast in these so expressive eyes Fyodor is not sure he’s managed to catch them all, let alone identified them. 

“It’s such a shame we don’t share the same point of view. You’d be dazzling by my side.”

“By your side?” Chuuya snorts. “You would let someone stand beside you?”

“I certainly could let you.”

When Fyodor feels the redhead moving, he prepares for him to try to dislodge the grip on his chin and back away. Instead the smaller leans forward until their nose are only a few millimeters away. 

“And what makes you think I’d want you by my side?”

“Are you that hard to please?”

Chuuya moves his head back, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Like I said, I’m not keen on those who go after the people I care about. Plus you want to destroy Yokohama and I can’t be seen with someone like that, can’t I?”

Fyodor lets out an amused chuckle and lets go of Chuuya’s chin, only to place his hand on the other’s hip and press him closer.

“You’re awfully close to me right now.”

“But I’m not next to you.”

The glint in his purple eyes matches the smile which appears on his face. He presses the smaller closer with the hand on his hip and brings the other to the red hair. He starts playing with the fiery strands, enjoying the silky sensation. He then bores his eyes into the blue ones and can’t help but say. “Your look has changed, compared to last week.”

The hand on the hip is now resting under the shirt and starts drawing circles on the lower back. To his credit Chuuya doesn’t look fazed by the russian’s constant touching. “Maybe it’s because I’m not drugged anymore.”

“No. You have changed. I don’t know what has caused this change but something feels different about you.”

“What? You really thought no change would occur after being your prisoner for a whole week?”

“I wouldn’t know. Usually they break after only a few hours, or one day for the most resilient. The change is always for the worst. They certainly don’t become more dangerous than before.”

“Oh~ you think I’m dangerous?”

“It would not be wise to underestimate you. I’ve already done it and look at where it has led us.”

“Me on your lap?”

Fyodor chuckles. “More you out of your chains.”

“And what are you going to do about that? Your chains can’t contain me and your drugs don’t work on me.”

Fyodor’s hand stops playing with the red strands and comes to encircle the smaller’s neck, applying a little pressure. “I could always kill you. There would be one fewer opponent. A powerful one at that.”

Chuuya removes his arms from where they are and cups Fyodor’s face with his hands. “What are you waiting for?” He leans forward, increasing the pressure on his neck. His voice becomes smoother, hypnotizing as he talks.“I’m at the mercy of your ability. Heck, you could even gut me with the knife you’re keeping on you. So what are you waiting for? Are you afraid your ability won’t work on me? Or do you think I will use your knife against you?” One of his hand has gotten closer to the said knife and is now holding its hilt. Without looking away, he brings the weapon between them, the blade toward him. “There, you see. All you have to do is push.”

Fyodor watches with amusement as the redhead is leaning closer and closer until he’s sure the blade is nipping the mafioso’s skin. “Now I can see why Dazai is so interested in you.”

Despite the mention of his ex-partner, Chuuya cracks a smile, pure mischief perceptible in his eyes. No one should look that pleased after being tortured for a week. Fyodor think absently. You sure seem to enjoy yourself, маленький бог.

“Oh, you were talking about me in your glass prison?”

“Well, I don’t see who else will fit the most the description of ‘a barking dog who seems can not follow one simple order and will only end up being a disappointment’. Even though you’re far from being a disappointment. I suspect Dazai wanted to keep you as far from me as possible. I mean, I can understand why. Wouldn’t it be the worst scenario if you ended up being under my control?”

“I’m fucking going to kill him and throw his body in the middle of the ocean.” He leans backward and sighs. Fyodor can only watch with mirth the redhead growing more and more irritated. “Lose one game, one single game and you get this fucking nickname following you for the rest of your life.” He looks Fyodor in the eyes, frowning a little at the clear display of emotions into them. “Once I’m finished with you, I swear this shitty good-for-nothing mackerel is dead.”

“Wouldn’t it be like throwing away all your efforts to free him?”

“But it would be so satisfying to do so.” The not pout and the not childish tone are so alien to the situation, Fyodor can’t help but smile.

“I’m not denying it. But didn't you say you needed him to beat me?”

“Agh, you’re right. You’re fucking right. I hate geniuses.” Chuuya closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Why does he always end up frustrated each time his ex-partner is mentioned? He has other problems to deal with. Such as the russian asshole in front of him.

“Maybe we should stop talking about him.”

“You’re the one who mentioned him first.”

“Why are we talking about him as if he is your ex-something ready to come between us?”

“Us? Great, replacing one disaster sociopath genius by one distinguish psychopath genius. I’m over the moon.”

For sole answer, Fyodor pushes the redhead toward him with his hand, pressing the knife even more into the smaller’s stomach, and brings his head closer to his own. The mafioso doesn’t flinch in the slightest at the bite of the knife, nor at the sudden lips crashing against his own. The kiss is far from being sweet and slow, but is devouring and biting. Neither of them close their eyes and Chuuya quickly understands the kiss is not of lust and desire, but of domination and control.

So that is where Fyodor wants to go. Fine. Two can play this game. And Chuuya would be damned if he’s going to let the russian win. 

He lets go of the knife, leaving it rest between them, and brings his hand to the dark hair. He grabs the black strands ferociously and deepens the kiss. He feels delight in the subtle shudder his action causes to the russian. In response he feels the hand on his neck moving to his nape and the vicious grip that follows. Thankfully he is no stranger to this kind of action and has since learned not to react. Fyodor is not the first one thinking he can submit him like that. And the few ones who succeeded paid the price ten fold. 

As neither of them appear to want to let the other gain one bit of control, soon they both are left out of breath and forced to break the kiss. Fyodor’s eyes shine with ominous glee and hunger. A dark chuckle escapes from his lips which curve in a predatory smile.

“You weren’t that defiant the other times I kissed you, маленький бог.”

The glint in Chuuya’s eyes is dangerous as well. The man before him took advantage of the state he was in and the god in him demands retribution. One does not wrong a god without paying the price. And Chuuya is more than willing to let the god reclaim his due. 

Fyodor mustn’t have sensed his intents, or does not care, because the next thing he says sends fury in his blood.

“You were so pliant and begging for more.”

Amusement is painting his face and all Chuuya wants is to rip this smile in tatters. Torn those hands off and crush them until there is nothing left. He wants to take his soul and shred it. Again and again. To wrest all that makes him human.

Does Fyodor even have a soul? Is it already in tatters? Does it look human? Now Chuuya wants to know. Which one of them have the most human soul?

Despite his thoughts of death and shredding, Chuuya flashes a sweet smile and brushes Fyodor’s face with his finger.

“Oh I’m sure it was very satisfying to have a god at your mercy. Whimpering, meowing, screaming, begging. I hope you enjoyed it because it won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Drug me, chain me, torture me again if you must, I will kill you. Make me beg one more time and I will destroy and tear you apart.”

Fyodor strokes the skin of the nape under his hand with a sickening affection. “Is it a promise?”

When Chuuya senses the hand on his back getting lower until the finger are under his clothes, he clutches violently the dark hair while his other hand grasps the arm in a bruising grip. 

“Yes, it is.”

[rafyki]

Selfish [BSD - Soukoku]

Tags: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Literal Sleeping Together, First Kiss

Words count: 6215

Read on AO3

~ ~ ~

Chuuya was tired. His feet felt as heavy as concrete, his limbs hurt, his legs screamed in protest with every step he took, his shoulders felt like they were bending under a too big weight; he was even too tired to use his ability and reduce the gravity on himself. He just wanted to reach his room and collapse on the bed.

Some missions were easy, their enemies overthrown fast and without many troubles, leaving him and Dazai standing and ready to fight again if necessary; some other missions, though, gave them a too good fight, exciting while it lasted, while adrenaline ran fast in their veins, but then left them like that, stumbling through the Mafia headquarters, weary and almost devoid of energy.

Chuuya almost always preferred the latter - the sensation of a good hard fight making his blood boil in his veins was a feeling that never grew old for him.

He looked at Dazai, walking silently next to him. He let his eyes roaming over him, a vice Chuuya had let himself indulge even too much lately - but it was okay now, when the corridor was dark and Dazai's eyes were fixed ahead of him, lost in thoughts that Chuuya couldn't guess.

"You're still bleeding", he said, when he noticed the cut on Dazai's cheek, and the wound on his side that kept colouring red his shirt.

Dazai turned to look at him, and it seemed like it took him a few moments to really realize what Chuuya had said. He looked as tired as Chuuya felt.

"Oh", he said, looking down at himself. One hand went up to the wound on his cheek, touching the blood with his thumb. After looking at it for a second, he brought it to his lips, tasting his own blood. "It doesn't hurt".

"That's not the point", Chuuya sighed. "You should get those treated".

Dazai simply shrugged, and Chuuya sighed again, annoyed at the carelessness that Dazai showed towards everything and especially himself.

He knew he wouldn't treat those wounds - if there was something that Chuuya could say he knew about Dazai was that he couldn't take care of himself (couldn't, and most of the times simply didn't bother to do it).

They walked in silence for a minute or so, too weary for their usual banter.

"Come on", Chuuya said, breaking the silence when they approached his apartment. He grabbed Dazai's wrist and started to pull him towards the door, preventing him to move onward to his own room.

"I know you can't stay away from me, Chibi, but I'd really like to go to my room and sleep".

"Shut up, shitty Dazai", he answered, not having the strength for a better comeback and focusing on fumbling with his key and open the door.

Weirdly enough, Dazai really did not say anything more as Chuuya led him through the small apartment he called home and to the bedroom.

"Wait here, and don't dirty my sheets with your stupid blood, or I'll kill you".

"Sure, sure".

He went to the bathroom to take the first aid kit, groaning in pain as his every muscle seemed to be screaming and begging him to sit down and rest. He wasn't hurt like Dazai - he was actually very proud of the fact that he was definitely better than Dazai was at avoiding bullets and such, thanks to his ability - still, he probably needed to take care of himself, too.

Why am I even doing this?, he wondered, annoyed at himself and his own stupid feelings for the stupid waste of bandages waiting in the other room.

Chasing the thought out of his mind was as hard as usual.

Why did he even feel like that? He hated everything about Dazai - starting from his self confidence, to his continuous suicide attempts, from how annoyingly clever he was to how irritating he was when he decided that he wanted to make Chuuya's life difficult.

He cut his own train of thoughts off before he could derail on way too familiar paths. He had wasted too much time thinking about Dazai, the list of things he hated about him more often than not turning into a precise account of tiny details that Chuuya had gathered during all the times he couldn't bring himself to stop looking at his partner - like the quirk of his lips when he smiled, the dangerous light in his eyes when he was facing an enemy, the tone of his voice and the way it sent shivers down Chuuya's back, the freeing sensation that for some reason filled him whenever they were together and Dazai let the mask that he always wore for everyone else fall for a moment.

Ugh, stop it, Chuuya told himself, shutting the cabinet and hoping that his troublesome thoughts had been trapped inside.

Of course, when he came back to his room, he found Dazai lying on the bed, arms spread open at his sides, eyes closed, and a relaxed expression on his face. A way too relaxed face for someone who was definitely dirtying Chuuya's sheets with blood.

Why did he even like that asshole?

The kick on his legs was earned, and Dazai was probably expecting it anyway.

"Ouch, Chuuyaaaa, why are you like this, I thought you were supposed to treat my wounds, not cause more!"

"You dirtied my sheets, you fucking asshole", he replied, but he sat himself next to Dazai, and took out what he needed from the first aid kit, as Dazai got up and put himself in a sitting position.

They stayed in silence for a while, as Chuuya cleaned first the wound on Dazai's cheek, and then tried his best not to stare as he took off his blood soaked shirt - because, even in that state and covered in dirty bandages, Dazai was annoyingly pleasant to look at.

He was probably too caught in his own thoughts and being angry with himself for even thinking that sort of things, because Dazai let out a hiss of pain as Chuuya was taking off his bandages.

"Don't be so rough, Chibi, what kind of nurse are you even?"

Chuuya barely resisted the urge of punching him, or kicking him right in his still open wound. "Fuck you, I'm not your nurse! You should be grateful I'm even helping you, stop fuckin complaining".

"Why are you doing it?", Dazai asked after a while. The tone of his voice, quiet and unusually void of the familiar teasing edge, pushed Chuuya to look up from where he was cleaning the wound and met his eyes.

And what he saw in them almost made him feel dizzy. It was an honest question, like Dazai really didn't expect anyone - didn't expect him - to help him, or to care enough to do it. It made blood boil in Chuuya's vein. Of course he would help him, as if that was even a question!

"You wouldn't have done it yourself, and you sure as hell wouldn't have gone to the infirmary", he answered, breaking eye contact and resuming his work. "You suck at taking care of yourself".

He wasn't expecting the soft laugh that followed his words.

"I want to die, Chuuya. Taking care of myself isn't exactly my priority".

That made Chuuya even angrier. He couldn't understand it, couldn't get why Dazai was so careless about his own life, why he was so ready to throw it away.

He wasn't sure if he was angry only at Dazai for being like that or also at himself for not being able to help him in any way.

"You're so fuckin selfish, you know that?"

Another chuckle, but when Chuuya looked up again, he didn't see any teasing or laugh in Dazai's expression, only sad resignation, and maybe what could have been a hint of regret.

"Yeah, I know".

Unable to stand that look, and at the same time not really wanting to look away, Chuuya gathered his strength and turned away, taking new bandages and starting to wrap Dazai's torso again.

They finished in an heavy and not really comfortable silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

When Chuuya went to the bathroom to put back the first aid kit, he almost expected to come back to an empty room. Instead, he had to blink a few times to make sure that the scene before his eyes wasn't just a weird product of his overtired mind.

"What are you doing?"

"Tryin' to sleep", Dazai answered, his voice muffled from the pillow he was hiding his face into.

"That's my bed", Chuuya pointed out, as his eyes were fixed on Dazai, who was snuggled on his bed, lying on his uninjured side, his back to Chuuya.

"Yep, great spirit of observation, Chibi".

"You have your own room".

A sigh. "Are you planning on keep saying obvious things or will you let me sleep?"

Really, Chuuya asked himself, why do I even like this guy?

"You could take the couch if you want to stay here, why would I let you sleep in my bed?"

"You can take the couch if you want", Dazai said, as if it was the most normal thing, and he gestured vaguely with an hand, not even turning around when speaking.

Honestly, the guts that guy had. "Or I could just kill you and get it over with".

"You're too tired for that", Dazai said, the teasing tone in his voice evident despite the clear weariness. "Come on", he added, and patted the spot on the bed next to him.

It was really something, the way Dazai could at the same time make Chuuya's nerves pulse with anger and making his heart skip a beat or running like crazy.

"You're so fucking annoying", he murmured under his breath, part at Dazai and part at himself and his own feelings. He cursed again when Dazai chuckled and his heart decided that skipping beats was its new favourite thing to do.

The bed was more than big enough for the two of them, but that didn't make it any easier for Chuuya's traitor heart. And forcing himself to turn around and not staring at Dazai's sleepy relaxed features was probably the most difficult mission he had faced that day.

" 'night, Chibi".

Chuuya simply hummed in response, hating Dazai and the way he made him feel more than anything.

For once, he was grateful for the weariness of his body and mind, because he doubted that, if it wasn't for that, he would have managed to close his eyes that night. Instead, he fell asleep after not too long, his mind too tired to focus on anything but the regular and relaxed sound of Dazai's soft breathing.

He wasn't sure, next morning, if being grateful or not that the spot next to him on the bed was empty.

~ ~ ~

It became an habit of sort - Chuuya taking care of Dazai's wounds after a mission, when necessary, and then Dazai just refusing to leave his room and ending up spending the night in Chuuya's bed.

Saying he had gotten used to it and the proximity didn't affect him anymore would have been one of the biggest lie ever, because his heart kept skipping and pounding like crazy in his throat every time it happened, refusing to leave Chuuya alone and always ready to remind him of his misery and stupid feelings.

He still liked it, though (and at this point he couldn't really keep denying it to himself), despite how stupid the thought made him feel and the many nights spent without being able to sleep and staring at Dazai in the dark.

He liked the closeness, liked the warm feeling spreading in his chest as Dazai let himself be vulnerable (or, as vulnerable as he was capable of) when it was just the two of them. He liked the honesty of those moments.

He liked all that, and hated it at the same time.

Hated it because he couldn't understand why Dazai did it, hated it because it didn't happen often enough and, now, when Dazai didn't show up, his nights felt more lonely and his bed way too big just for himself.

Until, one day, it wasn't just to treat injuries after difficult missions anymore.

Until, one day, Dazai stared to come into Chuuya's house at night, occupying his bed without saying anything and sleeping there as if it was the most normal thing ever.

Sometimes, Chuuya came back to his apartment and found him already there, still awake as if waiting for him; some other times, he heard him easily picking his lock and coming in, followed the sound of his footsteps until they stopped near the bed, and felt the mattress bending under the new weight.

The first time it happened, it was the former.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Dazai opened his one eye not covered in bandages and looked at Chuuya.

"Ehi, Chibi", he just said."Turn off the light, I was trying to sleep".

And really, Chuuya was completely justified for how his nerves pulsed and gravity increased around him making the floor crack. He was also, definitely justified for the kick he aimed at Dazai's back.

"This is my house, you useless mackerel, what are you even doin here?"

Not that he wanted him to go, obviously - as his traitor heart had kindly reminded him when it had made a somersault as soon as he had seen Dazai on the bed and the prospect of a lonely night had turned into that of spending it so close with his partner.

A thought crossed his mind, suddenly, and he cursed himself for not having had it before.

"You're injured?", he asked, moving closer to the bed, worry starting to creep into his him.

"Nope", Dazai answered, and finally raised in a sitting position and properly faced Chuuya. "Your bed is simply more comfortable than mine", he shrugged, as that explained everything.

It didn't, not to Chuuya.

“Bullshit”.

He knew that Dazai wouldn't give him a serious explanation, though, not until he himself wouldn't want to. So Chuuya swallowed another curse and his heart that was pounding painfully in his throat, and changed into his sleeping clothes (safely hiding his hat in the wardrobe, like he had started doing after one morning it had went missing and he had only found it later, sitting comfortably on Dazai's stupid head).

Than night, Chuuya couldn't sleep, both his mind and feelings a mess impossible to unravel. He looked at Dazai, so close that he would only need to move a few immense centimeters to touch him, and yet always so impossible to reach and to understand.

He looked at him, and thought he wanted nothing more than close the small distance between them. Maybe it was the tiredness from the long day of work that made him act on his desires without really thinking about it - and so, he moved closer, like a haunted animal afraid to alert the one chasing him, until they were closer than ever. Not quite touching, but close enough that he could feel Dazai's warmth like a ghost on his skin.

His heart hammered in his chest.

He would move away again, he promised himself, he would only indulge in a few dangerous minutes, a secret that the dark of the night could hold forever.

Dazai's breath was soft and regular, telling Chuuya that despite him moving, he hadn't even stirred. Seeing Dazai so calm and relaxed was a privilege, and one Chuuya was extremely grateful for.

What am I even doing?

What is he even doing?

He wanted to know - he needed to know. Maybe Dazai knew about Chuuya's feelings for him, and that was his plan for mocking him and making his life hell? Chuuya shook his head at himself - that wasn't like Dazai; he was perceptive and clever enough that the chances that he had understood were scarily high, but Chuuya knew he wouldn't react like this.

No, this was something else. Maybe Dazai simply didn't want to sleep alone.

Sighing, he gave up on trying to find an answer - Dazai was a dilemma, an unsolvable mystery whose answer only he knew. Chuuya had no chance of finding it on his own.

He still couldn't take his eyes away from him, though. Even in the dark, he could make out Dazai's features, the lines of his eyes, his jaw, his lips.

Fuck, I want to kiss him.

He turned around in a swift motion before the thought was even fully formed in his mind, blushing, his face coming aflame under the weight of the embarrassment.

He didn't sleep at all that night, he spent it awake, all too aware of the body so close behind him (and yet not wanting to move away from it and put a safe distance between them again), and wondering where would he even find the strength to face Dazai the next day.

~ ~ ~

Usually, Chuuya would wake up to an empty bed (for the nights when he could actually sleep). Empty and cold like no one was there in the first place, and the whole thing had been nothing more than Chuuya's way too vivid imagination playing games on him.

There were times, though, when Dazai would stay and Chuuya would wake up, open his eyes and find him still lying next him, asleep.

Those times were the hardest test for his nerves and self control, the moments when he couldn't stop himself from indulging in fantasies and letting them play freely in his head.

He had accused Dazai of being selfish, but in those mornings he thought the truth was that he was probably as selfish as him.

Because he didn't know why Dazai was there, why he kept coming back - and every time he tried to ask him, the answers were always the same obvious lies, or a taunting comeback that told Chuuya that Dazai didn't want to talk about it.

But, what Chuuya knew for sure was that he wanted him to keep doing so.

He wanted to be able to be close to him, bask in the sense of intimacy they had built for themselves when they were hidden behind the curtains of the night. He wanted to keep looking at Dazai relaxed sleeping face, looking at his lips and imagining how it would feel to kiss him. He wanted to keep being Dazai's hiding place from whatever was going on in his mind.

He wanted to take whatever Dazai was giving him, no matter the reason behind it.

He wondered if that made him selfish, or simply stupid.

~ ~ ~

It changed, one night, and the careful balance of pretending they had built inside the four walls of Chuuya's house came tumbling down.

Chuuya was lying in his bed, waiting and hoping to hear the front door open, and Dazai's careful footsteps crossing the apartment and coming into the bedroom. And so it happened, after some long minutes of hopeful waiting, as so often it did lately.

It was just like every other night. Until it wasn't anymore.

Until Chuuya felt Dazai crawling into bed, coming so much closer than any other time.

Until he felt Dazai's arm coming around his waist, and his body pressed against his back.

He couldn't help how his body stiffened at the sudden contact, nor the way breath stopped in his throat.

It felt like an eternity until Dazai spoke.

"Chuuya", he murmured, and Chuuya could feel his warm breath tickling the skin of his neck. "You awake?"

"As if I could sleep like this".

The words were forced out through the lump in his throat and Chuuya himself could barely hear them over the pounding of his own heart. Dazai could probably feel it, feel the way his touch made Chuuya's heart run and his mind a mess.

Not that it mattered - after all, there was an high chance he had always known (because Dazai was simply too clever and observant, and Chuuya had never been good at hiding his feelings, especially from him).

Somehow, the soft nervous laugh that escaped Dazai's lips was enough to reduce the tension in the room, and Chuuya felt himself relaxing in Dazai's hold.

Without thinking twice about it, he brought one of his hands over Dazai's, holding it.

"What's wrong?"

Because it was crystal clear that there was something wrong, something that was making Dazai cling to him like that.

Chuuya knew him well enough to know that some days, for Dazai, were much worse than others, days when he had a dark light in his eyes and a serious tone in his voice as he talked about the inconsequence and dullness of living, and the free release of killing himself; days when he felt farther away than ever, trapped in his own too intelligent mind.

Minutes ticked by without an answer - or maybe it was mere seconds, passing like a lifetime to Chuuya's senses.

"I sleep better when I'm with you".

The words were a breathed murmur again his neck

He had guessed it, in some measure, but hearing Dazai saying it made it true, real. The words, quiet and honest echoed in Chuuya's mind for some long interminable seconds.

"Is that why you've been stealing my bed all this time?"

"Mhm", Dazai hummed in assent, and his hold on Chuuya tightened ever so slightly. "Does it annoy you?"

Stupid question, the most idiotic question ever - it made Chuuya wonder if Dazai was really as clever as he claimed. Or if he simply wanted to hear the answer coming from Chuuya's lips - like a game, where if he had to be honest, so did Chuuya, too.

"You always annoy me", Chuuya said in the end. "But I could have thrown you out whenever I wanted, you know".

Their joined hands were lying against Chuuya's chest, his heart hammering against them, and there was no way Dazai couldn't feel it. Somehow, the thought wasn't as scary as is should have been.

"But you didn't". A beat, a pause. "Why?"

It felt like a callback to that night, the one that started everything, when Dazai had asked him why Chuuya was helping him treating his injuries - like they were somehow back where they had started.

It would have been easy eluding the question, saying something that could take the conversation back on a safe track. But Chuuya found he didn't really want that.

Instead, he let go of Dazai's hand, and turned around in his embrace, facing him for the first time that night.

They were close - Dazai's arm was still on Chuuya's waist, their chests were almost pressed together, their legs touching, their faces so close Chuuya could feel Dazai's breath on his lips.

Dazai's eye not covered by the bandages was fixed on Chuuya, and even in the dark Chuuya could imagine the curiosity painted in it.

"I guess-", he started, then swallowed around the lump constricting his throat. "I guess sometimes I'm selfish, too".

"I thought I was the selfish one".

"Yeah, well, we can both be".

When Dazai let out a breathless laugh, Chuuya felt it tingling on his lips.

Silence, a moment suspended in time.

"Can I be selfish now, Chuuya?"

"About what?"

A beat of silence, the the soft whisper. "You".

Chuuya had barely time to wonder what that meant and to nod before Dazai was kissing him.

It was soft, careful, hesitant even - everything Chuuya had never thought kissing Dazai would be.

Where he had imagined fire and eagerness from the very first moment, there was a slow and tentative touch, where he had thought there would be nothing but passion and chaos, there was a sigh against his lips and a gentle hand cupping his face.

It was nothing like Chuuya had imagined it, and maybe that shocked him even more than the same fact that Dazai was kissing him.

Until his startled and overwhelmed mind caught up to what was happening, and reminded Chuuya to kiss back. And he did, placing a hand to the back of Dazai's neck to bring him closer, and pressing his lips more firmly against his.

That seemed to be the only assurance that Dazai needed, like he had been barely testing the waters until then, giving Chuuya the chance to back out if he wanted.

As if Chuuya could ever do that, as if he could ever turn back now and give up something that he had been wanting for way too long, haunted by his own thoughts and feelings. He parted his lips, letting Dazai's warm tongue inside, licking into his mouth, sliding against his own, letting his taste invade his senses.

It was still different than what Chuuya had imagined, even with the hot touches and eagerness in the way they kept drawing each other in, closer and closer like they couldn't have enough – and it was true, at least for Chuuya himself; he didn't think he could ever get enough of the intoxicating ocean of sensations he was drowning in in that moment.

It was in the way – wanting and hungry and yet languid and possessive – that Dazai was touching him, his fingers stroking his skin, their legs tangled together, and in the way Chuuya, with their bodies pressed together, could feel him shudder with every new contact.

It was in the way it felt like Dazai wanted, needed that as much as Chuuya did. And that, was a fantasy Chuuya had never really let himself indulge.

Chuuya wanted to ask what did it mean, wanted to ask Dazai why. But, between the confusion and the overwhelming feelings clouding his mind, and the press of Dazai's lips, his taste filling his senses, and the burning touch of his hands, Chuuya couldn't focus on anything but what was happening right in that moment, and couldn't bring himself to stop.

And maybe, the truth was that right then and there he didn't need a reason, he just wanted to keep going, taking what he had desired for so long and that now Dazai was finally giving him.

So they kept kissing, lost in each other, their lips meeting over and over again, for an eternity. Until they both were short of breath and like that, still in each other's arms, they fell asleep.

When Chuuya woke up, Dazai was still there, snuggled up against him, hugging him, their legs still tangled together. His eyes were open, fixed on Chuuya, his lips curved in an almost imperceptible smile.

For a moment, Chuuya thought he was still dreaming.

"Stop staring at me, you creep", he mumbled, voice slow from sleep.

"Ahh, but Chuuya! You're so cute when you sleep!"

Chuuya hated how his heart started beating faster at the compliment, despite the obvious teasing in Dazai's voice - he blamed the fact that he had just woken up, and that he could still feel the pressure of Dazai's lips against his.

He breathed out in relief at the familiar banter that followed and at the fact that Dazai didn't move away, keeping close to Chuuya like he didn't mean to ever let go of him.

It had been like a dream, the night before, like they were moving in a limbo or in another reality, where they could do and say whatever they wanted, and it wouldn't matter anymore once it would be touched by the daylight.

But now, now it felt like the two realities had merged, and they didn't have to hide behind the night anymore.

So Chuuya leaned in, cutting off with his lips whatever idiotic thing Dazai was saying.

"That's cheating, Chuuya".

"That's strategy, mackerel".

There was still something, though, nagging at Chuuya's mind, a voice that kept whispering doubts at questions.

"Dazai".

The tone of his voice must have given him away, because there was now a glint of seriousness in Dazai's eyes.

"Why did you kiss me last night?"

He wasn't expecting one of Dazai's hand to find his own and staring to play with his fingers. As if it was normal, as if it was something they always did, and not something that made Chuuya's mind short-circuit.

"Why did you kiss back?"

"Don't answer my question with another", Chuuya said, rolling his eyes. Then added, "And you know why, anyway".

"Do I? Maybe I want to hear you say it".

"Fuck you", Chuuya shot back, but it lacked his usual strength. "And don't elude the question", he added.

A sigh. "You said it yourself, I'm selfish - I wanted it, so I did it"

Chuuya thought it was fair, in a way – maybe, the night before, both of them had been thinking more about themselves than the other, too lost in what they wanted to think about what the other wanted and what it would mean for them.

It could mean everything, it could mean nothing.

What Chuuya knew was that it wanted to at least mean something. And he didn't know what Dazai wanted, but he was willing to wait, let him be selfish, as Chuuya did the same.

After all, it really seemed that, when it came to Dazai, he really was selfish.

~ ~ ~

Nothing changed, on the outside. It was still the same - the same banter, the same continuous insulting and teasing each other, the same fighting together as partners. What was different was that now, when Chuuya imagined kissing Dazai, he knew what it really felt like, the the taste of his lips engraved in his senses; now, Chuuya knew he could indulge in his fantasies without feeling stupidly hopeless, because he knew he could turn them into reality whenever he wanted.

Now, when Dazai stayed the night - and it happened almost every day - there was no space between them, their bodies as close as possible, their arms around each other, their fingers entwined.

"You said you sleep better with me", Chuuya said one such night. "What did you mean?"

He had learned that at night, in those moments when nothing else existed in the whole world outside the two of them, Dazai was more willing to be honest. And Chuuya was selfish enough to take advantage of that.

"Just that", Dazai answered. "My dreams are way too crowded usually, it keeps me awake".

"And they quiet down when you're with me".

"Don't boast, Chibi, it's just because you're too noisy and annoying, you make everything else seem quiet".

Chuuya laughed, and his arms around Dazai tightened its hold. "Mhm, sure it is".

“And what about your days?”, he asked again, after a while. “You said that your nights are too noisy and crowded- what about your days, how are they?”

It was a while until Dazai answered, so long that Chuuya started to think he had fallen asleep, or simply had no intention of answering.

“My days are even too quiet, usually”.

“Do I make that better, too?”

“You're rowdy, it's a nice contrast”.

To be honest, Chuuya hadn't expected that answer. The warm sensation spreading through him had become pleasantly familiar, especially on nights like that.

He didn't say anything else, letting Dazai fall asleep and lose himself in quiet dreams.

~ ~ ~

Nothing changed on the outside between them, but Chuuya couldn't help but notice that the times he had to rescue Dazai from a river he had thrown himself into, or save him from some other fanciful attempt to kill himself, had decreased noticeably.

~ ~ ~

Another day, another difficult mission, and another night that saw Chuuya and Dazai walking side by side in corridors of the Mafia headquarters, heavy limbs and aching muscles asking for relief in several hours of sleep.

It wasn't a question, when they stopped before Chuuya's front door - that, at that point, wasn't even just Chuuya's anymore (and the thought made his heart flip happily, like every time he saw the evident signs of Dazai's presence in his home).

It was an established routine - Chuuya going to the bathroom to take the first aid kit, Dazai waiting in the bedroom (and Chuuya was now sadly used to his sheets being tainted by blood) for him to come back and treat his injuries.

At one point, Chuuya had told him he could as well start doing it on his own.

Dazai had replied with "Why would I when I have you doing it? And I know you like taking care of me, Chuuya".

"Only because you're a huge baby and refuse to do it yourself", he had replied, but the blush on his cheeks probably gave away the fact that Dazai's words were true. And, judging by the smug smile on his lips, Dazai knew it, too.

Now, as he sat besides Dazai, studying him and the injuries that marked his body from the recent fight, Chuuya felt strangely serene, as if he was exactly where he needed to be. He was willing and ready to take care of Dazai until he wouldn't do it himself; and the simple fact that Dazai let him, that he came to him for comfort, that he let Chuuya in while everyone else stayed locked outside – it was something, and more than Chuuya had ever thought he could get.

They hadn't talked about it, about what their relationship was, about what it meant – but, even without labels, they both knew.

Chuuya was snatched away from his thoughts by Dazai's voice, breaking the silence fallen between them.

"You're bleeding", Dazai pointed out, looking at Chuuya's arm, where one of the ability users they had fought earlier had managed to hit him.

He had taken off his jacket and shirt already, and his arm felt stiff and aching, but nothing he couldn't stand for a little while.

"I know", he said, and shrugged. "It's nothing".

"A bit hypocritical, eh, Chuuya?"

And Chuuya had to stop for a moment and laugh, because Dazai was looking at him with a smile and mirth in his eyes - and Chuuya had the feeling that Dazai had expected that kind of answer from him.

"Shut up, unlike you I'm gonna treat my own wounds later", he replied, as he started working on Dazai's wounds.

They stayed in silence, Dazai with his eyes closed, relaxed under Chuuya's touch.

When he was finished, Chuuya put away the dirty cloth, and took a clean one and new bandages to treat his own wound.

A hand suddenly put on his stopped him from moving.

"Let me", Dazai said, softly, a murmur in the quiet of the room, and he took the cloth and gauze from Chuuya's hands.

Chuuya, on his part, was too shocked to even reply as Dazai started cleaning his wound. His hands were delicate and careful against his skin, but still able to send shivers throughout his body.

The effect Dazai had on him, even with a single glance or a simple touch, was enough to send Chuuya's mind in a whirl of overwhelming feelings.

"So you do know how to do this", he said, more to break the silence and stop his own thoughts from derailing.

"Of course I do", Dazai answered with an overdramatic roll of his eyes. But his voice was low, thoughtful, at his next words. "I just never thought it really mattered - as long as it didn't hurt. And then there was you, ready to take care of me", he added, raising his eyes from what he was doing and meeting Chuuya's. "I'm not good at taking care of myself, but it's easier when you help me. And I like it".

"A bit selfish, eh, Dazai?", Chuuya said, voice as soft as Dazai's.

"Guess you're right", Dazai chuckled. His hand was still moving carefully against Chuuya's skin. "But-"

"But...?"

"I think I'm tired of being selfish".

Chuuya had to remember himself to breathe, swallowed once to clear his throat - a maybe his head, but that seemed like it had stopped working, too busy repeating Dazai's words. Their eyes were still locked together.

"Yeah?", he managed to say, a smile making its way on his lips. He found Dazai's hand, that had stopped cleaning the wound and was now simply resting on Chuuya's arm, stroking the clear skin, and took it in his own, their fingers lacing together naturally.

It was Dazai who leaned in and kissed him, a familiar gesture by now, but to which Chuuya still couldn't get used to. There was no hesitance, their lips firmly pressed together and moving against each other, their free hands finding their way on each other's bodies, keeping each other close.

Chuuya thought he would gladly spend the rest of forever kissing Dazai, feeling his touch, his smell, his taste, feeling him, like nothing else existed in the world and his senses were only made to feel him, and him alone.

“You know”, he murmured when they broke apart, breathing heavily against each other's lips. “When we kissed for the first time, I was think more about myself than you”.

Dazai laughed. “That makes it two of us”.

“Told you we're both selfish”, Chuuya said, his hand stroking Dazai's cheek, his smile brushing against his.

Maybe that was what made them a good match.

“And what were you thinking about now?”

“Us”.

Chuuya smiled. “ Me too”, he said, and kissed him again.

[tia-dreamer]

SoukokuWeek2019 Day 4

Prompts:

Price - Debt and Payment - “Take a good swing at me and everything is even.”

#

Nice, normal mornings weren’t really something that was familiar to the people working at the Armed Detective Agency in Yokohama. So when one such morning rolled around quietly, when suddenly there were no emergencies or extra chores to do and even Dazai was only lazing around on the couch, everyone distrusted it. Immensely. These sort of morning’s always came with too steep a price. In the two hours since the work day started Dazai had caught six people sending prayers to various deities, seen Ranpo case the room, twice, and had been enduring looks from every single person in the office. Even from the Chief! It really wasn’t fair. Dazai had nothing to do with this, and he had, for once, little inclination to stir up trouble.

Though that was suspicious in it’s own right, maybe, so even he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

And drop it did, about fifteen minutes later, when the door to the office was flung open violently, in a way that hinted at a kick more than an enthusiastic push.  Dazai saw a good amount of people relax, from his vantage point, and then blanch. 

He heard the croaked sounds of breaking floor panels and familiar footsteps before he ever caught a glimpse of their surprise visitor. He buried his head more in the couch cushions. No, Chuuya was annoying on the best of days and he didn’t want to get kicked around again for some tiny issue that the Chibi blew out of proportion to compensate his stature. 

“Ah, Nakahara-san?”

Weird, Kunikida sounded perplexed. 

“Heh?! So you all do know me. Wonderful. So where is the Spoiled Brat?”

Dazai hadn’t heard that nickname in years- what-

“Aaaah- What happened, Nakaha-”

“What do you think, de-tec-tives?”

Dazai had a bad feeling about this. But the conclusion his brain was shoving at him sounded disastrous and he really needed to check it, before he started believing it. So he sat up, made his way over to the opening of the visitor booth and turned to look out into the office. 

“Chib-eh?”

Well. Fuck. 

Staring back at him was a tiny - and for once he didn't mean his height, though that of course was a fact as well - version of Nakahara Chuuya. A fifteen year old version, to be exact. Same clothes, but short haired once again, and he couldn't see that one scar on his jaw that Chuuya had gotten at 17. 

“Fuck me, did you let someone stretch out your skeleton, asshole?”

That pulled Dazai out of his stupor. His response was reflexive as always.

“No, I just think Chibi shrank overnight. I didn't know you wanted to compete for the ‘tiniest microbe’ competition so badly you’d get yourself de-aged Chuuya.”

“I just woke up to a stranger poking me with needles and an older version of your little shackle freaking out. I don’t know what happened, okay?”

A huff, but less aggravated and much more indulging than he had heard it in years. Dazai let a smile slip onto his face.

“Well, Chuuya most probably ran afoul of an ability and now I get a flashback to Mini-Chuuya. Maybe I should send them some flowers? Chuuya gets a lot less cute when he grows… or rather, when he ages. You don't really grow, Chibi, even though I tried watering you.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Wait what?” 

Dazai decided to ignore his coworkers in favour of interacting with a much less jaded version of his ex-partner. Not to mention that Chuuya was actually scared, considering he hadn't risen to half the bait Dazai had slipped into their conversation. It had always been the easiest gauge for his mental state.

And Chuuya must be wondering what the deal was with Dazai at the ADA of all places. Maybe he didn't want to see it right that moment, but he would get the picture soon enough. Dazai didn't want anyone else to see that confrontation. 

 So he went and slung an arm around his ex-partner-turned-child-present-partner, ignoring how Chuuya didn't even try to shrug off the contact, and tried to grin at the whole office, all of whom were staring in shock or horror at the scene. Ah, silver linings, those were a thing people prattled on about sometimes, didn't they?

“Well, I guess Chuuya and I will see if I can’t find a rogue de-aging gifted, so we’ll be going-”

“Dazai-kun.”

Dazai stiffened as Fukuzawa-san stepped into the office proper, looking somewhat more severe that usual. 

“Ah, yes, Chief?”

“Mori-sensei just informed me that their Executive went missing after a run in with a very curious ability user. It seems he is no longer missing, though.”

Dazai felt the startling and unfamiliar urge to shove Chuuya behind him and hide him from view, even as the 15-year-old stepped forward instead, straightening out and jaw stubbornly set as he stared at the man who fought with Mori on even footing. Not that Chuuya actually knew that.

“I didn’t go fucking missing. And who wants to know that anyway, I don’t answer to you.”

Dazai wasn't aware of whatever face he was making, but it was probably a pained one. A cornered Chuuya was never a good thing. Even now, Dazai could hear the floor creak ominously, and Chuuya was tensing like he was readying himself for a fight. This was… less than ideal. 

After a quick moment of contemplation Dazai reached out to pull Chuuya back towards him, hand mostly on his left shoulder, but very deliberately also touching the side of his neck. 

“Down boy.”

“Not a dog, Dazai. Two weeks of no names, remember?”

Oh. That made the age Chuuya had been… well, de-aged to much easier to pinpoint. 

“Ah, it has been seven years for me, Chuuya. But I’ll be nice and refrain anyways, how’s that?”

A kick against his shin, and then Dazai’s face was pulled down a good foot until it was almost level with Chuuya’s.

“Don’t fucking patronize me, shitty mummy. I’ve been in worse situations and you don’t need to fucking coddle me. You never did before.”

He didn’t so much as blink at the rapid change in perspective.

“Ah, but last time we were both irresponsible teenagers. I’m an adult now and you're still tiny.” 

Another kick, hitting the exact same spot with pinpoint accuracy, before Chuuya stepped away and to the side, eyes never leaving the people around them. He smirked. 

“I call bullshit. That one over there is younger than me, and considering she has her own desk and a knife that she’s been grasping at for the last five minutes, I doubt this place is any less of one that employs children.”

The grin turned wolfish as he met Kyoka’s gaze head on. “And I’ve definitely killed more people than her. You're not coddling her. So you can shove your adult responsibilities up your ass.”

Again, both of them ignored the offended gasps and exclamations from their audience. Dazai had to admit they weren’t used to that. He didn’t call them out either, and didn't want to be called out for his own hypocrisy any more than them. But Chuuya had always been blunt and sharp-edged at the same time. 

So a rueful sigh was the only reaction Dazai allowed himself. 

“Very well, Chuuya. But fighting’s still not in the plan right now.”

“Quite right.” Fukuzawa interrupted whatever Chuuya had had to say to that, and gave them both a quelling look. Thankfully Chuuya only glared, uttering a “Tch,” before falling silent and focussing on Fukuzawa-san as well. 

“Nakahara-kun. I will inform Mori-sensei of your whereabouts. Considering your temporal displacement, you might be under considerable stress, so I will negotiate terms with him to have Dazai and you stay together and for the ADA to take on your case to reverse whatever happened to you.” His gaze shifted to Dazai, who felt himself straighten, relief coursing through him. “Dazai-kun, please show Nakahara-kun to our infirmary. We should at least make sure that there is no unexpected strain on him.”

And then the white-haired man turned on his heel to step back into the hallway. 

“Eeeh?” Chuuya fixed another glare at Dazai. “What is he-”

“Chuuya.” 

The redhead narrowed his eyes at the taller man. “Urgh. Fine. I don’t want to stay near an audience anyway.”

That was as much of a concession as Dazai could hope for, not that it meant that Chuuya had surrendered to whatever plan the people around him were making. Dazai knew that with a surety that came from years of being stuck next to Chuuya in these sorts of situations. So he led the way towards the infirmary and Yosano-san, and hoped against hope that it wouldn't blow up in everyone’s faces. After a few steps, a third set of those made themselves known, and both of them turned around, almost simultaneously. The little out-of-synch movements were a stark reminder that this wasn’t his Chuuya- his time’s Chuuya. They came face-to-face with Kunikida, glaring and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“I do not believe leaving you alone with a Mafia execute is a good idea, Dazai-kun. For your safety and ou-” 

Dazai threw a quelling look at his partner. He really didn’t need Kunikida to give Chuuya more information on what the situation was like. It would complicate things immensely and-

“Oh come off it.” Chuuya swatted at Dazai with a hand and shook his head.

“I don't have the full picture but you've obviously left m- the mafia. I’m an executive and that guy is your new partner. And we’ve had run-ins that were less than friendly. I won't be here that long, so I don't much care because for now you’re a somewhat more annoying version of my partner as far as i'm concerned, so don't sweat it, okay?”

Abort. Deflect. 

“Chuuya is really giving his brain a workout today, are you sure you won't drop dead from exertion?”

A quicksilver grin as Chuuya gave him the finger. “You’re the one with no stamina to speak of, spoiled brat. That's the whole reason why you can't call me names, remember? OR are you getting amnesiac in your old age?”

The grin that took over Dazai’s face then was completely involuntary, for the record. And he got a pleased little grin in return as Chuuya noted that yes, Dazai remembered quite well. But then Chuuya’s expression hardened as he looked back to Kunikida. 

“You wanna come, you walk in front of us. You obviously trust Dazai, but I don't trust you at my back, mullet-man. Not even if shitty Dazai does.”

In the face of one person already on the verge of a conniption, and the looming threat of Yosano-sensei, Dazai was actually loath to poke Chuuya by admitting that he had grown his hair out to at least resemble a mullet in the furthest sense as well. 

Instead, he took a few steps, laid a hand on Kunikida’s shoulder and then dragged and pushed him towards the infirmary in front of Chuuya. 

#

Yosano caught one glimpse of the Chi- of Chuuya and slammed the door in Kunikida’s face. Dazai genuinely didn't know who had the funnier reaction: Kunikida, who was squawking something about decorum and basic curtesy, or Chuuya, who stared and then started laughing. Dazai was probably the only human in existence who could see the flash of calculation that made Chuuya’s eyes glow before the redhead, seemingly impulsively, started cackling and jeering about scared old ladies. 

And it was effective. Chuuya knew as well as Dazai did how to coax people into certain reactions. For Dazai, it was a learned skill he used in accord with his observational abilities - he was brilliant at figuring out exactly what to say, but Chuuya got people. And an impertinent teenager calling her old? Yosano-san hauled them all into the room after less than ten seconds of loud taunting.

What followed was a rapid fire check-up that went over surprisingly smoothly, considering that Chuuya didn’t know her and had never taken well to strangers prodding him, and that Yosano-san only ever interacted with him the time he had attacked their hide-out. It was a less than ideal situation for a cordial visit. But the two of them spoke little, and interacted mostly through gestures and nods and really, it almost seemed like they had come to an understanding right under Dazai’s nose without making it apparent in any way. How had they done that?

But then they were done, and Yosano swept out of the room, “to update Fukuzawa-san on the situation”, and Kunikida and Dazai both stared after her. Chuuya apparently hadn’t felt the need to do the same, because he was flopped down on the bed and had pulled out a phone he was holding above his head and by all appearances engrossed in. 

Kunikida fell for it like the utter fool he was. Dazai almost wanted to shake his head, but then again, most people didn't expect a 16 year old to deliberately thump his nose at them or try to aggravate him. And Kunikida would see the child before the 16 year old mafia member and mass-murder weapon just because he was lounging around, playing on a phone and affecting a careless attitude. Chuuya had learned exactly how to take advantage of people’s misconceptions. He’d routinely seen Dazai pull the same move, after all. 

“Are you not the least bit cornered about your situation, young man?”

Moments like these, Dazai could see exactly what the math teacher had been like once upon a time. He had a certain “adult-to-child” demeanour that was, if Dazai was being honest, and he always tried to be so as little as possible, very aggravating.

“‘Course not. The boss can’t stand missing an executive and the mummy misses the older me- I’ll essentially cease to exist as soon as they find whoever did this. And that won’t take long with the port mafia on the job.”

“Do not talk so casually about death!”

Chuuya turned his face towards the blonde man. “Your partner was literally humming that bloody suicide song of his when I arrived.”

“Dazai should never be a standard to which to hold yourself-”

“I fucking know. Get off your high horse, mullet-man. I’m not suicidal, I’m realistic. And I haven’t ever seen that waste of bandages as someone I wanted to be like in any capacity.”

“Aww, Chuuya, you’re hurting my feelings!”

“Fuck off, Dazai, you don’t have feelings that can get hurt.”

It was telling how complacent Dazai had gotten within the ADA when it took honest effort to suppress the minute twitch at that. Kunikida seemed too just get more aggravated.

“Now-”

“Oh please. You may know this version but Dazai is still the same shithead who manipulated my friends into stabbing me in the back and also literally stabbing me just so he could get a minion of his own.”

Blue eyes glared into Dazai’s direction. “Not to mention that he also decided that clumsily flirting with me would be a good idea afterwards because he had no people skills and wanted an obedient little housewife and attack dog in one.”

Kunikida sputtered. Dazai just wasn’t sure what to think of Chuuya airing out their past in front of his current partner. Especially because the blonde started muttering something mostly unintelligible, and the only words Dazai caught were something to do with “straight” and “terrible” and Dazai really didn’t care to know exactly what made Chuuya chuckle at that. He could extrapolate it anyways, thank you very much, especially when Chuuya calmed down and shook his head at the former math teacher.   

“You guys completely fell for his shitty obfuscation didn't you. Figures.” And then a mean little grin spread over his face. 

“I was his first kiss.”

And when Kunikida, predictably (really, Dazai needed to teach his partner something about composure in the face of obvious distractions. Then again, he had never needed to teach that before) lost his calm once more, Dazai was all to aware that Chuuya’s grin was a mirror image to his own. 

Chuuya had picked up a lot just by watching him. And Kunikida’s denials continued, much too Chuuya’s obvious amusement. “Ya’think the guy knew other people he’d get into a five foot radius off? Fuck no.”

And that, apparently, was too much for the blonde’s brain, because it evidently gave up on processing anything it had been occupied with for the last minutes, to instead fixate on Chuuya’s vocabulary.

“Language.”

“Fuck you I lived on the streets for 7 years.”

Dazai now really wanted to laugh at the way Kunikida turned purple, but Kunikida might implode if he did that, so instead he raised an eyebrow at the sixteen-year-old and raised an eyebrow. He was met with a sharp grin. 

“I don’t think most girls will appreciate that sort of language.”

Chuuya’s head turned so quickly towards the blonde again that Dazai almost got whiplash, and the face Chuuya wore was one of utter bewilderment.

“I literally just told you that I own Dazai’s first kiss. I’m fucking gay, what the fuck would I care what some civilian chick thinks about me?”

Dazai still tried, but now he really couldn't hold back his laughter. Oh, that was precious. 

 And that was the scene that Yosano arrived back to: Chuuya glaring incredulously as Kunikida squawked and Dazai laughed at the whole situation. 

#

Chuuya was remarkably quiet and almost… well, not exactly docile but definitely more agreeable than expected as they made their way out of the ADA and as Dazai started herding him towards Dazai’s own flat. He was not going to leave him out of his sight, and he had sensibly decided not to think about the reasons for that. 

The calm lasted until they had turned three corners and Chuuya dragged Dazai along in two consecutive loops, executed to catch any possible tails and really, Dazai fell into step with Chuuya way too easily. It had been a habit before they both turned 18, to shake any tails and trip up Hirotsu when they wanted less supervision. 

It was plain discomfiting. Everything was nostalgic in ways that bothered Dazai. The Mafia had been horrible, and still was. But these weren’t bad memories. Ambivalent mostly, though he couldn't help a certain fondness when it came to the pure life that Chuuya exuded as 16, arrogant and confident and settled into a space that he could fit himself into.  

Seeing him like this, Dazai only just realised how much the PM had broken his partner in the later years. He knew how it had broken himself, but he hadn't been watching closely enough to see the same thing happen to Chuuya. 

Evidently though, it had. 

Just for a moment he wondered how much he himself had contributed to that. But that almost made him want to throw up, so he turned towards the currently 16 year-old to start some other nonsensical discussion and met Chuuya’s own narrow-eyed stare.  

“What is she going to want?”

“Huh?” 

Chuuya levelled a glare at Dazai. “The Doc Lady. You said you trust her with your life, but you also said she is an acquaintance,” Chuuya affected air quotes, “of the boss’s.”

“Chuuya, Yosano-san’s not like that.”

That had come out more placating than Dazai had intended. And Chuuya, understandably, growled at that. 

“Bull. Ane-san said it's... like, Debt and Payment. It's a ‘principle of human interaction.’ And seriously, you know as well as I do that His acquaintances never do shit for free.”

Dazai hummed noncommittally as he steered them around another corner, smoothly avoiding the police outpost on that street. 

“Yosano-Sensei is possibly the person least likely to ever become one of Mori’s typical acquaintances, Chuuya. There is quite a bit of bad blood there, from what I have gathered.”

And incredulous look. 

“What, you haven’t gone snooping and gotten your hands on the whole story? When did you grow a sense of respect for other people’s privacy?”

“Imagine trying to spy on Ane-san, Chuuya.”

That single sentence made both of them wince as they looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes. If he had been a lesser man, Dazai would have shuddered. Spying on Ozaki Kouyou was as good as signing a warrant for eternal torture- not death, but unending, eternal torture. Dazai was not a fan. 

“Fact is, Yosano-Sensei may know Mori, but she is not the type to ask for payment from a 16 year old. Maybe it will be different once you are back… to an older age, but I doubt you will care all that much.”

There was a huff.

“Alright, we’ll see.”

“Aww, doesn’t Chuuya trust me?”

The bristling came as no surprise, even as Dazai made sure to smile extra-irritatingly.

“Not as far as I can throw you, shitty mummy. You know that.”

Dazai shrugged. “Well, you are here.” 

“Because there is nowhere else to go! At least you’re honest with your fucking shady shit.”

The brunette stopped and rolled his eyes. “Of course, Chuuya, but I did mean that you are here- this is my apartment building.” 

Chuuya stared up the clean, if somewhat old high rise and raised an eyebrow. 

“You’ve really moved up in the world, now, haven’t you,” he quipped, voice laced heavily with sarcasm. Dazai very obviously bend down a little to smile at him. “Well, since Chuuya never went up all that much I did have an advantage, didn’t I?”

He got a rude gesture for his trouble and a quick hand snatched the keys and stomped inside.

“Fuck off!”

Dazai trailed after the teenager, smug grin firmly settled on his face until they both were in the elevator and Dazai pressed the button to his floor. It was a quick ride, and then Dazai made a beeline for his door and was overtaken by Chuuya as soon as he had discerned which door Dazai was heading towards. He let them both in. 

The apartment Dazai lived in was the complete opposite of his staff-cleaned room in the Port Mafia. After two years in hiding that had been intentional. Possibly the most deliberate decision he had made during those years. It wasn’t vast or clean-cut, it wasn’t a stylish combo of monotone colours and the lights and window blinds weren’t automated. 

Not to mention that he had to take out his own trash which… he should have done two days ago, judging by the state of his overflowing bin. 

And he knew he had a spare futon somewhere because Yosano had gotten a new one for her place and the old one hadn’t been threadbare yet… he just wasn’t sure where exactly it was. 

Chuuya, evidently completely unbothered by the state of Dazai’s flat, had slipped off his shoes and made his way down the hallway meanwhile to peer into every room until he found the kitchen. And he’d already found the Onigiri Dazai had planned on having for dinner, as well as two cans of canned crab from his emergency stash.

When Dazai entered the room, Chuuya wordlessly shoved the cans at him and proceeded to dog into his Onigiri and Dazai very belatedly remembered that Chuuya had been a bottomless pit during his teenage years. He didn't even know if that had changed. He made a face at the redhead. 

“Were you not planning on eating me out of house and home, Chuuya?”

“Fuck off, I’m hungry, and tired and its not even 6. You don't have shit to cook and I’m not going outside again. You’ll just drag me along into another disaster.”

“I think Chuuya is the disaster out of the two of us.”

Chuuya snorted. 

“Yeah right. That little assassin girl was great at detailing exactly how much shit you get up to while you were talking to that boss of yours.” A click of his tongue and a bite as he watched Dazai sit down opposite him. “Seems to me like you just walk from one shitshow into the next ever since you left the PM.”

Dazai took a very deliberate bite of his crab. 

“Shitshows are universal when you’re around ability users, Chuuya.”

The redhead rolled his eyes at him. 

“Oh fuck off with your evasive bullshit. I already said I don’t care, didn't I? I know exactly what the Port Mafia is like.”

Dazai stared at him for a moment. Maybe this version didn't care, but his partner did. 

It had been overly blatant during both their reunion in the basement and during the Lovecraft debacle. Dazai just hadn’t noticed that he had been stepping on someone’s trust at the same time. Words didn’t matter. And neither did words spoken as Chuuya slumped over in exhaustion. Those were negligible. But that his partner, a version of his partner that didn’t know him half as well too, had chosen to come to him when faced with a situation that could have had multiple available solutions? 

It drove home what Chuuya had already said a few times. He did trust Dazai. Not just in the “we have to work together and you’re my ball and chain and you won’t let me level the city” kind of way, but genuinely trusted him to search him out in a vulnerable situation. 

Dazai swallowed another bite and got up, making a deliberately stupid little wave at Chuuya and made his way out of the room to find the second futon. 

This wasn’t something to think about now, when Chuuya watched him closely enough that he might even be able to decipher Dazai’s thoughts. 

Older Chuuya and his preconceived notions was much easier to lead around the nose. 

He ignored the catty “coward” comment that drifted after him. 

#

Dazai’s phone rang at 3 a.m. that night. 

Chuuya had sat up straight on his futon before Dazai even turned to the side to reach for it, a dark, lanky silhouette in the room that was only illuminated by the sliver of a waxing moon. 

He picked up the phone and accepted the call from a blocked number. And really, at this time, there were very few people that would call him. 

“Dazai-kun.”

“Mori-san!” Dazai chirped, deliberately chipper, as he watched Chuuya tense and straighten. “What seems to be the problem at this hour?”

“I do fear for your intellect, if you cannot deduce it from the situation, Dazai-kun. But very well. We have found the hiding place of the ability user that affected Chuuya-kun, so we would be very happy if you could make your way there post haste.”

“Ah, but it is very early, Mori-san, don’t you think?”

“Fukuzawa-dont has assured me that you will be happy to help and resolve this issue as soon as possible, Dazai-kun.“

Dazai sighed. There was little he could do to stall for time in this. And with the way Chuuya was up and grabbing the day clothes at his side, he knew so as well. 

He suppressed another sigh. “Very well, Mori-san, send me the address and we will make our way there.”

He almost grinned the pause that followed. 

“You might remember Chuuya at 16, Mori-san, I won’t be able to keep him from going without grievous harm to myself and we both know I would rather avoid that.” 

“Very well. See that you don’t dawdle,” came the terse reply, and then the call broke off. Dazai pouted slightly at his phone. Mori could really bet indescribably rude.

And still, he rolled out of bed and made his way towards his wardrobe, pulling out a somewhat darker attire than he regularly wore nowadays. 

When going into an area undoubtedly swarming with Port Mafia goons though, he was very much conscious that this would make it just a little easier for him to blend in and keep the tension at a minimum. Not really necessary normally, but he was walking in there without any sort of back-up this time.

Dazai went into the bathroom after Chuuya came out, completely dressed and hair still wet, but not dripping all over the place like Dazai sometimes left his own. 

And fifteen minutes later they were stepping outside again, heading towards the nearest subway station as some other blocked number send him coordinates. The train ride was filled with a mostly tense silence, with Chuuya obviously caught up in his own thoughts and Dazai trying to puzzle out whom he would have to deal with in the next half hour. Hirotsu was almost a given, but he didn’t know whether Mori would send Akutagawa and Gin-chan just to complicate matters or if he would not, to facilitate a quick and successful mission. 

It was a bit of a toss-up, and as such not something Dazai was particularly happy about. 

When they did get out at their final station, they both noticed the suited men waiting for them at the street corner. Dazai only just caught the undecipherable look that Chuuya send in his direction before they met up with the men and were lead down a few alleyways, only to stop in front of what looked like a shop in the middle of renovations, and one that was awfully quiet.

“Huh, is the show over already?”

A familiar voice reached them from the door. “Dazai-kun, Nakahara-kun. You’ve missed the exciting part.”

Hirotsu-san stepped out a minute later, looking as unruffled as always, even in the face of a way-too-often-seen traitor and a de-aged superior. 

The older man gestured for them to step inside. 

“We’ve already captured the ability user, and Mori-sama was asking for a quick resolution of the matter, so if you would, Dazai-kun?”

Dazai hummed and turned to look at his de-aged partner, feeling his smile turn... weird on his face. 

“Well, Chuuya, that was a very short-term solution to your fear of aging, don’t you think?”

“At least I don’t dress like a grandpa, half the time, you fucking waste of bandages.”

A sharp grin and a shove that did make Dazai stumble, even though he had seen it coming. 

“Now go and resolve this fucking mess, you procatinating disaster.”

“Stop trying to order me around brat, you’Re to tiny to look down on me.” 

But Dazai went and turned around, walking past the row of grunts and Hirotsu to stand in front of the obviously unconscious man. It was a male, most probably over 40, lying in the dirt and obviously at least somewhat post-torture. Dazai couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad for him. He’d attacked Chuuya after all. And speaking of Chuuya-

“Just a minute.“

“Chuuya-kun?”

Hirotsu’s face looked vaguely disapproving as the teenager ran past the goons and right at Dazai, who, really, had expected this. Chuuya would want to get in at least one hit, he’d known that. 

But then, suddenly, Chuuya was right in his face, and Dazai knew that look. It was stubborn and fixated on him and really, it felt nice to be looked at like that. Like someone wanted him. Like someone cared.

It felt a lot less nice when he considered that this was an out-of-his-depth sixteen-year-old who had latched onto him for all the wrong reasons. 

Dazai didn‘t want this Chuuya. He had outgrown this Chuuya when Chuuya himself had outgrown that age. He still liked the boy, loved him, maybe, but in a distant sort of way. Like a memory, perhaps, and definitely not in a way that would make him comfortable kissing a teenager. Especially with all these people around him. 

So he stepped back. And, really, the look the boy gave him was… it hurt Dazai possibly almost as much as it seemed to hurt Chuuya. But this was the right thing to do. The thing Oda would have nodded his head and smiled at him for. 

But Chuuya’s face… Dazai crossed the distance he had put between them himself and hugged the redhead. 

There were… so many things he could have said, but none felt adequate because, in the end, Chuuya had been right. This version of him would cease to exist- would, for lack of a better word, die. And though they both had always been more than familiar with the harsh reality of their own mortality, it still had to be scary. 

So he hugged his younger partner and felt gratified, maybe and slightly humbled, as he felt the smaller male hug him back and bury his pale face in Dazai’s vest. And then Dazai reached back with the other arm to blindly grasp the forearm of Chuuya’s attacker. 

There was a shocked gasp, and a cut-off yell, and something pulsed in Dazai’s arms before the rapidly aging body crumpled to the floor, heavier than Dazai could manage to hold up with one arm. Instead he went down with him, kneeling as he tried to lay Chuuya down gently, head cushioned on his lap. 

Just from the way his jaw was clenched Chuuya was almost certain that Chuuya was living through a condensed amount of growing pains. Of course he wouldn’t scream. Both Dazai and Chuuya had learned very, very early on in their mafia careers that screaming often only made things worse. 

And then Chuuya‘s hair was back at normal length, slightly wet looking and Dazai would bet that Chuuya would take a 30 minute shower the moment he got back to his own home.

Most people would have stayed unconscious after something like this. Chuuya woke up half a minute later, scowl on his face and eyes narrowed. 

“Fuck that was a fucked up trip.” 

“Well, if Chuuya hadn’t decided he wanted to try out the newest de-aging treatment this could have all been avoided, but Chuuya’s brain is possibly too small to think of the consequences.” 

Dazai knew that it wasn’t his best work. Really, he did, but the actually amused snort his partner made was just about worth it. 

He didn’t stop the Chibi from sitting up, didn’t try to help because that would have just resulted in a fist in his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet either. 

He should have. Dazai knew he should have, but it just wasn’t something he was willing to do right this second. With a certain amount of absentmindedness he noted that Chuuya didn’t seem to want to stand up just yet either, was resting back on his hands and staring up at the ceiling. 

Dazai managed to do the same thing for one, strangely peaceful moment as well, and then he was caught off guard the second time in the last fifteen minutes as Chuuya, once again, decided to get right into his personal space. 

He was clutching at Dazai’s collar again, the brunette noticed vaguely, as he stared into still narrowed blue eyes. 

It wasn’t the same soft look the sixteen-year-old version had levelled at him. It was harder, more bitter and held a wealth of history but at least it was really Chuuya’s. And so were the words. 

“You don’t get to pull away and deny me after you coddled me this whole day, bastard.”

Chuuya kissed him before he had really processed the words. 

All things considered, it was one of the chaster kisses between them, but Dazai could feel his blood rushing towards his face anyway. They were in public. Hirotsu of all people was standing not 10 meters behind them and the first thing Chuuya did after a day under the influence of a quirk was kiss him? When had he stopped being capable of predicting the Chibi?

Dazai kept sitting on the floor when Chuuya stopped pressing their lips together and stood, barking orders at the Port Mafia members surrounding them. And then he swivelled around to glare at Dazai and point a finger at him as Dazai finally started to stand up. 

“And don’t you fucking vanish! We need to talk about some things. I’ll come by tonight, and don't you try avoiding me. I need to go do fucking paperwork now.“

Dazai stared at the tiny whirlwind that was his partner and sighed. Really, today was already not his day. He had just been planning to hide on the Agency’s sofa for a while. So, really, he didn't feel like having a talk with Chuuya. Those always ended with a bloody nose, even if you could talk and blackmail himself out of everything. The grin he affected was, Dazai admitted to himself, deliberately shady. 

“Ahh, Chibi, how about this: You take a good swing at me and everything is even right now, so you don’t have to come and search me out later.”

To be honest, it was kind of impressive that Chuuya had even heard him over the ruckus the Mafia Goons were making around them. But he evidently did? Because he sent an exasperated glare into Dazai’s direction. 

“Are you fucking… Urgh.” Then he took Dazai’s wrist and dragged him out of the room and down the hall, ignoring Dazai’s questions in favour of looking at doors and finally pulling both of them into something that looked like an office. The door was shut with a kick, and then Chuuya was in Dazai’s personal space, hands coming up to grip at his shirt collar and pulling Dazai down until their foreheads were almost touching.

“Listen to me for once in your goddamn life, Mackerel. What you did was decent. Really, fucking decent, ok? I know, you're on the side of the light and all that blah blah blah. But I didn't expect shit as a 16 year-old. You would have had an easier time not trying to coddle and protect me from your own friends. No one would have blamed you. You wouldn't have done so at any other time. So there's something that actually changed. I didn't think so before, and somehow I think you didn't either. So take this situation as proof, got it?”

Dazai thought back to leaving Chuuya, exhausted from corruption, lying on a battlefield. Thought of a sixteen year old version not even shrugging off his arm, as Chuuya let go of him and stepped back a tiny bit.

Then Dazai felt a punch on his shoulder, much less painful that it could have been and shifted his focus to stare into Chuuya’s eyes. 

“We have more to talk about. I mean what I said. Be home tonight. I’ll hunt you down if you’re not, but you wont like it.” Dazai made a show of pouting. 

“Ah, but who says I like Chuuya near me at any time? You’re annoying, Chibi.”

A snort, utterly amused. Oh. That was… not the intended reaction. 

“Yeah, try selling that to someone who didn’t see you light up when I was talking about our little bets and who didn’t see you shuffle around your whole living space just to keep me near you. You know as well as I do that there are more than enough places that you could have shipped me off to, but you didn’t.”

“That’s because no one knew whether the ability would have adverse effects on your control, so of course it was safer to keep you supervised, Chuuya.”

Dazai was trying - really, really, trying - to extricate himself out of whatever this situation was starting to devolve into. But Chuuya wasn’t rising to his bait, wasn’t even huffing or stomping off, and all of that made Dazai decidedly less certain what he was dealing with now. 

Not that he got another chance to try and get back into familiar waters when Chuuya just grinned at him, and then turned to strut out of the door. 

Dazai let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling once more. He needed to get a grip. And then he needed to figure out exactly what had happened in the last two days and what had changed. 

This was important. But for now he would make his way home and bury himself in his futon. It was too early to deal with such a weird day.