#Nothing important happens tomorrow
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galculus · 2 years ago
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I defend my dissertation tomorrow
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faaun · 6 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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rowlfthedog · 1 year ago
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Having a very difficult evening, would any of you happen to have spare silly muppet images……
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baronessblixen · 4 hours ago
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HEY, you got your DD and GA podcast episode!!!!
I'm excited for me, obviously, but I'm really excited for you. :DDDDDDDD
(I feel like a wizard for predicting they'd meet in person, BUT, regardless, I'm excited for tomorrow? I think it is?)
I did! I mean we all did 😁 I'm so excited for all of us, truly. I know some people were hoping she wouldn't be one, and are not looking forward to it, so I hope they will find a corner of the internet tomorrow where they don't constantly have to see it or hear about it.
Meanwhile, I may not talk about anything else tomorrow! Maybe you are a wizard 😁we were all just hoping and grasping for it, weren't we? We got a pic. No matter what, Gillian and David - or at least Gillian - know how much a large part of the fandom loves seeing them together. And they're giving us that.
It's tomorrow! I will be completely useless until then - and afterward!
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whisperofthewaves · 29 days ago
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it fuken. wimdy
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monstermp3 · 6 months ago
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👺
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cryptid-on-a-string · 1 year ago
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my mom sometimes offers to let me stay home from school if she sees me crying an obscene amount about something, so guess who’s not going to school tomorrow, bitches
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sableeira · 1 year ago
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why can’t I be unconditionally happy for once in my goddamn life why do I always have to be cursed with hardware malfunction or data loss a week before any given deadline
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desperatepleasures · 8 months ago
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ok well I ran out of spoons to fold laundry so I guess that's getting added to the Tuesday Task List 😩 but at least I got everything else done that I needed to
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome
#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but#omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i#paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!!#and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great#that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂#purrs#literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and#it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a#and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents#house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which#means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll#have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these#renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and#cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s#comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep#being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is#mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also#create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go#anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow#and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.
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shiningstages · 2 years ago
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Me lookin' at my lil content: d'aaaaaaaw it's so cute~
I wanted to do stuff before work, but I like blanked out since I'm sleepy (went to bed around 1? 2?? then woke up at 7:11; not terrible but not like Great) then did my required stretchies / looked up stuff for things~ Tomorrow I have my last PT session and follow-up, and then I plan on cleaning my room / generally just chilling out since it has been Forever, but now...I will try and schedule in time for OC thoughts today and tomorrow (still have to decide if Atlas would be primal or astral...and maybe compare some story stuff to make sure it's not stepping on any Canon toes...but maybe we also don't care about that second bit ghffjghfgvcccgkhf).
#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( i think...i'm gonna try and schedule my hair cut too. either saturday or next thursday#i love my long flowy hair but i've getting that feeling of just...can't take it anymore ghfjcghfcgkhgcjgv#BUT it's also supposed to get colder so i may wimp out because this hair Protects Me#i also have to talk with my workman's comp doc about specific restriction papers my store director gave me tomorrow (fear)#i don't really like feeling less useful at work; but i also have just accepted that i need to take care of myself#i'm hoping nothing Too Big happens with that because i still wanna bank a lot of money before going back to school#but also a tiny bit less hours a week (since i work around 37-39 rn) would be nice...maybe even an extra day off...more me time#in other news i've also had many vtuber thoughts GFDHGFHGFHJFGHF#the only important one is...accepting that i should just kind of Do It. instead of actively thinking of where i wanna be; if that makes#any sense#and wars gave me Big Incentive to clean my room in like a non-vtuber way; but also just like...the motivation!!! the hype!!!#i have a lot of steps in my mind to do my creative stuff; but my room Must be clean#not that all my stuff isn't on my dad's very nice desk but...i don't want any potential pc i buy to be there#it would be so much better environment-wise (aka not being in my kitchen where my dad always is and near the living room#where my bro always streams) plus it's a two-way street of i don't want to disturb them either#i thought about cleaning my mom's office but she literally told me no because she wants to clean it all herself#which her being like “i have to be the one to go through everything when cleaning” is just...i see where i get my attitude#BUT ANYWAYS#i need to get ready for work gfhgjfjgfhgkjgfcghfg being the closer so much is so tiring;;#hopefully tonight is good and i don't have to have Drama and anyone who freaks out )
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stuckinapril · 7 months ago
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the devil’s whispers:
you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)
you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)
you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)
i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)
I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)
panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)
I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)
I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)
I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)
If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)
If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)
if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)
I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)
I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)
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ace-malarky · 1 year ago
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oop I have asks I will get to them but also I have family over and yaddayadda probably the last time we'll all be together (mortality's a bitch) so like. capitalising on that so I haven't forgotten I just. haven't been around. Who knows when I will have time!
... maybe tomorrow I don't think I have to like Be places until the afternoon but the housework is also piling up lmaoooo
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blondedmuse · 11 months ago
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MISERY BUSINESS
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felix catton x reader
synopsis. ꩜ based off of this request.
author’s note. ∿ i need this man so bad it’s not even funny. smut (fingering, oral f receiving, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, praise, marking, voyeurism I guess idk) it's been a while since I wrote something on this account and its not proofread so be nice, also a bit of a rushed ending??
word count. ⨾ 2.7k
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The harsh thud of the car door closing awoke you from your mid-day reverie by the lake. The sun was beaming down on you almost bare body, only covered by a bikini. It was hotter than usual and everyone else at saltburn seemed to share your complaints. The heat aside the weather was pleasant—Felix on the other hand looked less than.
He looked annoyed, almost upset, even from far away. When he exited the car Oliver and Felix went their separate ways, Oliver looking just as unhappy. You wondered what happened in just few hours that could’ve soured their moods but it was only a few moments later when Felix approached you, grinning in attempt to hide the scowl he was dressed in minutes earlier.
Once he reached your figure he towered over your body as you laid on the dock. Having well acknowledge the heat now and your lack of clothing he discarded his shirt and quickly lowered his frame over yours so that his was barely hovering over yours.
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
He shook his head with a small grin. “nothing.”
You scoffed. “Liar.” He raised his brows.
“What’s wrong?” You prodded again. He dropped his head in hesitation, his lip between his teeth as he contemplated telling you what happened on his and Oliver’s road trip, what he felt, what the truth was—but he couldn’t. Not yet anyways.
He looked up at you. “I- Oliver just said something and it hurt me more than I thought it would.”
You sat up, the two of you adjusting your bodies as you did so. You stared intently at his face, watching how his eyes glossed over and how he could barely hold your gaze. It was a different demeanor than what other people knew, one of the more human parts that made people fall in love with him.
You lifted his face towards yours. “I’m sorry.” The silence that followed after your statement determined he wasn’t interested in sharing anything deeper than the surface of the matter.
He looked back at Saltburn then back at you. “Don’t be.”
You scrunched your brows. “Hm?”
“I don’t know,” He said earnestly. “It’s not your fault, I should’ve listened to you earlier. You kept saying you had a bad feeling about him and I didn’t really take it to heart…til’ now I guess.”
“Oh, Felix,” You sighed, cupping his face, your hand over his jaw subliminally believing that it would release the tension he held there.
“He’s out tomorrow.” His hand caressed yours as it rested on his cheek.
“Really?”
“Really.” He confirmed. “Maybe now I can get you, alone, yeah?” His body pushed yours back down on the doc so he was hovering over you once again.
"Felix," You laughed. "Always distracting me, aren't you."
"No 'm not," he mumbled, nipping at your earlobe. "You weren't doing anything important anyways."
"I was going to ask another question," You giggled.
"Okay," He answered, pushing himself so that he kneeled above you, a knee on either side of your torso. "What?"
When he was playful like this he was such a beautiful sight in front of you, you almost felt bad asking him a question as if you were ruining the mood.
"You're not really kicking him out are you? I feel bad."
He sighed. "I am kicking him out and you shouldn't feel bad, he’s in the business of misery it’s almost like his job to make people feel bad." He crawled back over you once again, something heavier within him now. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, his clouded eyes. His mouth made its way back to your body, this time trailing down your stomach, beginning to leave marks you knew you’d have to hide at the party tonight.
“Felix,” You frowned. “I just-”
He cut you off. “Enough, alright. He was a creep anyways, you said it yourself,” He told you and you nodded, internally agreeing.
“He’s going home after the party.”
The feel of his voice as he mumbled into your skin was enough for you to stop thinking about the situation for the moment. It wasn’t until nightfall you were reminded of Oliver's unrelenting presence—it was his birthday after all. Still, no matter where you were in Saltburn, you couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes upon you, you couldn’t help but feel that you were never alone.
"Can we go somewhere a little more private?" You asked Felix and he hardly registered the question. His hands up your dress the lights were dim, colored strobe lights bleeding in from the outside. The room was close to empty but the music could be heard throughout the house. You could ask him anything to anyone and it wouldn’t really mean anything—and it didn't help that the two of you were getting dizzy on champagne.
So, you didn't ask you question again but your eyes flickered to the maze that could be seen from the window and he understood what you wanted.
"Whatever you want, angel." He grinned, pulling his hands away to grab yours, taking you to the garden.
You scrunched your brows together. "I should be calling you that y'know."
He laughed with you. "You have wings too."
"But I'm a fairy"
"Close enough." You laughed to yourself as you and Felix walked through the house and towards the maze. There was a bottle of champagne in your left, Felix’s hand in your right, grounding you with each step. The more the time passed the less ideal it felt to walk in heels—you thought of ditching them all together. Still, they held the integrity of your costume, matching the chosen Midsummer Night's Dream theme. You'd dressed up as a fairy, donning flowers in your hair and a frilly slip dress, the costume obviously incomplete without wings.
Your heels pierced through the dirt once you’d made it to the grass, your feet sinking slightly with each step. You groaned to yourself, not going unnoticed by Felix.
“You okay?” He asked, stopping to turn to you.
“My heels,” You answered.
He furrowed his brows. “What about them?”
“Well…” You hesitated. “They’re killing my feet and they keep sinking into the dirt. They’re gonna get dirty.”
“We’ll we can’t have that know can we,” Felix replied, picking you in on fell swoop, your body now in his arms, your legs dangling from his grasp.
"Felix," You giggled his named through broken laughs, surprised with the immediacy of his action.
"What? You know I'd do anything for my best girl," He told you, returning the wide lipped smile on your face.
"I didn't ask you anything."
"You didn't have to."
You went limp in his arms as you sighed, comparable to an act of defiance as if you were annoyed, as if he did something wrong; but you knew he couldn't if he tried. He shook his head but the smirk on his lips was undeniable as he carried you the rest of the way to the center of the maze.
"You're insufferable, won't even let me carry you," He carped, putting you down and letting you lean against the cold metal of the statue as you put the bottle of champagne on the ground beside you.
"I did and you love me," You retorted, inching your face towards his, leaving a sliver of space between your lips. The bronze on your back that chilled your skin was a stark contrast to the heat radiating from Felix's body, from the warmth of the air around you. It was intoxicating, his breath on your skin and the breeze of the wind. Looking up at him you could see that carnal glimmer in his eyes when his hands roamed your body only moments earlier, and this morning on the dock. It was something you craved and that was something he knew and savored the fact.
"Well I can't deny that," He smirked before closing the gap between the two of you. You could feel the indent of his grin as he kissed you, his lips turned up into a wicked smile, something more depraved, but still, nonetheless, Felix.
"Why don't I finished what I started earlier, love?" He asked against you not bothering to pull away and you only moaned in approval. His lips traveled from yours to the lobe of your ear so he knew you could hear him clearly.
"You need to use your words, darling."
"Yes," You keened, wanting—needing more than what was being given.
"Good girl," He hummed, his hands drawing down the straps of your dress before they traced down the rest of your body all the way to your thighs. He hooked his hands under them, lifting you to sit on the base of the statue.
"This okay?" He asked, looking into your eyes for conformation, the raise of his eyebrows encouraging it verbally as well.
"Yeah," You sighed breathelessly. "But I still need you."
He smirked again. "Let me fix that then."
Felix's hands gently lowered the front of your dress, exposing your breasts and taking one of them into his mouth, moaning around it.
"You're beautiful, darling" He mumbled, groaning as his tongue slid over your hard nipple. His words were genuine but you couldn't help but feel a little cheesy, kicking your foot playfully at his leg and you felt his erection, hard as you did so.
"And you know that already," He chuckled, sucking your nipple more aggressively. "But it's true." His words made you ache with impatience, whine with desire. Felix pulled back before lowering himself to his knees, his eyes not daring to leave yours. Only when he licked an agonizingly slow, sloppy stripe against your clothed cunt his eyes focused on the sight in front of him.
You breath hitched in anticipation as he pulled down your panties with his teeth and taking them off, shooting you a wink as he pocketed them. Immediately after his gaze moved back to your wet pussy, wasting no time in tasting you.
He dropped his head and his tongue slithered to your clit, flicking the pearl a few times before wrapping his lips around it. Your core was hot against his face, your scent, heady and electrifying; he could spend hours between your legs. Your hand went to claw at his hair, your fingers entangling with his brown locks.
"Ri-Right there," You breathed, attempting your best to string a coherent thought together, but it was hard when one of his hands massaged the outside of your thigh while the other came up to your empty hand. Your fingers interlocking, his thumb kneading the side of your palm as he sucked harder at your clit. You squeezed it as you released strangled moans, strained from the attempt to stay quiet.
"You can be louder, love. No one else is going to hear you except me." You didn't believe him, swearing you heard something in the bushes move along with the fact that there was a full blown party happening in his house right now; but you couldn't help yourself either.
He slipped two fingers into you, eliciting a lewd moan with ease. Your legs pressed together and he almost felt suffocated at the momentary feeling of being entirely enveloped by you—but it was exactly what he wanted.
"Oh God, Felix," You fingers digging deeper into his scalp and he groaned.
His movements were mindless and uncalculated, but they had you reeling each time. He knew your body like a book, where to touch to have your head spinning. The longer he spent between you legs, the louder your moans got, your hips helplessly bucking up to meet his fingers and mouth.
"Atta' girl," he murmured against you core. "Cum for me, love, I can feel you squeezing me."
Your movements got sloppier, raunchier, as your orgasm approached swiftly. It struck you like a bolt of lightning, your body overtaken with rapture and relief. Felix watched as you come down from your high, his fingers still working you over.
"You did so well f'me," He coaxed, finally removing his fingers from your core and scaling up your body, his moving to cling to yours and swallowing any soft moans you had left.
"Need you," You whispered as his lips nipped at yours.
"Need me or my cock?" He chuckled, drunk on you.
"You know what I mean," You replied, hands already to undo the buckle of his belt.
He stopped you before you could go any further. "I know, I just want to hear you say it, darling."
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, the smile on your lips indicating otherwise. His brows darted up, goading you on.
"Please?" He pressed and you exhaled in pleasure, in desire.
"Need you inside me, Felix." The corners of his mouth turned up into that smug smirk you've known for so long and he nodded in thanks.
"As you wish, my love."
He was rock hard, heavy and hot in your hands, precum dripping from his tip. You were just as wet and desperate as he reached down as he lined himself up with your entrance, sheathing himself inside you without another moment of hesitation. His arms caged your body under him as he hissed at the feeling. He gave you a a moment, letting you adjust to his size, his cock completely filling you up as he was buried deep inside of you.
"You're so tight," He praised as he kissed you, moaning into your mouth as he began to move. The pace of his hips started slow, gently rolling into yours, your clit brushing up into his pelvic bone at just the right angle. Felix tuned into how your moans falter when he hit just right spot, the sensation going straight to your core.
"Feels so good," You keened as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you.
"Yeah? Tell me about it," He asked as he increased his pace, the speed of his pounding becoming relentless, evoking obscene noises from you. You wrapped your legs around his torso, heels digging into his back as you gave him the perfect angle to go even deeper as his cock hit your g-spot repeatedly.
You were sure your nails were going to leave a mark as they clawed into his shoulders while his hand slowly travelled to your core, rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit to help you reach your climax. You clenched around him in a manner so desperate, cunt fluttering around his cock. You didn’t have time to tell him you were cumming, screaming and sobbing as ecstasy hit you like a brick wall. You arched your back as his name fell from your lips again and again like a hopeless prayer. He followed suit seconds later, soaked with you as buried his head into the crook of your neck. He came with a strident cry as he bottomed out, filling you to the brim. You went limp under him as he panted weakly with his voice hoarse in your ear.
Still hazy from your climax your eyes widened as you saw Oliver walk into the maze. Felix didn't hear him, but he took note of your expression.
"What? Are you okay? What's-"
You interrupted him. "Oliver." Felix's head whipped around to the man standing behind him.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Felix exclaimed and you pulled your legs from his torso and fixed your dress. Felix pulled up his trousers, buckling up his belt before fully turning to face Oliver.
"What are you doing here, mate? I mean, really?" You didn't say anything, composing yourself as Felix stood in front of you. Oliver opened his mouth to speak but Felix cut him off before he could explain himself.
"Actually I don't wanna fucking know, I've seen enough." He sighed and looked back to check on you.
“I think you should go,” You said to Oliver. “Before you do anything more to embarrass yourself.” The words were harsh as they came out of your mouth but you didn’t know what else to say. You watched as he walked away with his shoulders slumped, no doubt some guilt weighing them down.
“Are you alright?” Felix asked you, turning back around. You nodded still processing what had just happened as it seemed the champagne had worn off a while ago. You grabbed the bottle off the ground and held it up, offering it to Felix with a smile he didn't hesitate to reciprocate back.
"To Oliver's fucking party!" You laughed confused as ever, taking a swig of the bottle before he grabbed it from you.
"To Oliver's stupid fucking party."
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loulovingho · 17 days ago
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He wished he could say he knew it was a bad idea before it happened, but he didn't.
It wasn't until the saw blade had sliced straight down his leg and the blood started seeping onto his pants and pooling on the garage floor that he realized hey, maybe I should have been a little more careful.
Still, without allowing himself to panic, he made himself a tourniquet before getting into his truck and heading toward the hospital.
“I was going through your files, Thomas,” Tommy's nurse, Angela, said as she walked into his room, “and you have a blank space where your emergency contact should be. Why's that?”
“Well good morning to you too, Angela,” Tommy replied, plastering on a grin. “Lovely to see you, as always.”
She cocked her head to the side, resting a hand on her hip. “Mhm. You need an emergency contact, Thomas.”
“Nobody calls me Thomas, Angela.”
“And nobody calls me Angela, Thomas.”
Tommy pushed himself up in the bed, wincing slightly at the pain that radiated down his leg. “What do they call you then? Angie? Ang? Ella?”
“This is serious, Mr. Kinard.”
“Angel?”
Angela sighed. “With your career, it's very important to have an emergency contact on file.” She moved closer to him, maneuvering the tray table over his lap and setting some paperwork down with a pen. “Get to writing.”
“Okay, okay,” he relented, picking up the pen. She waited as his hand hovered over the form. After a few seconds, he blinked up at her. “What's your number?”
“I find it very hard to believe that a pretty boy like you doesn't have at least one name and number he can drag from his phone to that piece of paper right there.”
“Is that a no on your number?”
“As long as no infection gets in that leg, you'll be out of here tomorrow,” she said, ignoring his question. “You have to have a ride or we can't release you.”
“Oh, come on,” Tommy whined, “I drove myself here!”
“Which was stupid!” She replied. “A gash that big, nearly to the bone. You're lucky you didn't bleed out on your way in.”
“My tourniquet skills are unmatched.”
“Well your common sense skills could use some work.” She took a look at her watch, let out another sigh. “I'll leave the paperwork with you. I'll be back in two hours to change your dressing and give you some meds.” She tapped on the paper, “I want a name and a number when I get back.”
Tommy grinned up at her, “Yes, Ma'am.”
He kept the smile on his face until she was out of the room, then he dropped the act. He tossed the pen down and pushed the tray away from him, pressing the button on the side of his bed so he'd be lying down.
Carefully, as to not disturb his leg, he turned onto his side and closed his eyes, letting sleep take over.
*****
When Tommy woke up nearly an hour later, it was due to loud noises across the hall.
Laughter.
A lot of it.
There was some shushing, and things quieted down for a minute, then it started back up again. It almost sounded like they were having a party over there.
When another round of laughter started, Tommy decided to get up and take a look at what was causing all the commotion.
Moving around too much wasn't recommended after the surgery and stitches he had to have for the gash on his leg, but he was tired of doing nothing and the door wasn't that far away.
Cautiously, he sat up and swung his legs around until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He pushed himself up, groaning slightly at the pain.
He clenched his teeth together and took a step, barely tiptoeing with his left foot to keep as much pressure on the right as he could.
He managed to make it to the door in five steps, leaning against the frame as he stared at the room across the hall.
The door was halfway open, filled with more people than Tommy thought was allowed in a room. He could see flowers on a corner table, and balloons nearby with GET WELL SOON written on them.
A man peeked around the corner, his smile turning into a grimace. “Sorry!” he exclaimed. “We're trying to keep it down over here.”
“Oh, you're fine,” Tommy assured him, motioning to his leg. “Needed to move around a bit.”
“Our boy over here just had surgery on his leg too,” the man said. “Trying to cheer him up since he'll be out of office for a couple months.”
Tommy forced a smile. “That's nice. Please, don't mind me. I'm not gonna be making it much further than here, just needed to get out of bed.”
“Alright. Feel better, Man.”
Tommy nodded. “Thanks.”
As the man disappeared back behind the door, Tommy turned back to his room. It'd been three days since his surgery, but there wasn't a balloon in sight. No flowers, no stuffed animals, no people. Nothing.
It was fine though. It wasn't like he needed those things. His captain had texted him that all his shifts had been covered, not to worry. A couple of coworkers had sent him teasing messages about hurting himself off the clock.
That was enough.
As he got back to the bed and laid down, he grabbed his phone off of the tray table. He was forever thankful to Angela for going downstairs to the gift shop on his first day in recovery to get him a charger.
He opened up the Uber app and clicked through all the steps to schedule a ride home tomorrow. He'd come back sometime soon to pick up his truck.
Once that was settled, he looked at the time. Angela would be back soon, and expecting a name and number on that piece of paper.
With a very dramatic eye roll, he grabbed the pen and quickly wrote down a name and a number.
*****
Twenty minutes after changing his dressing and getting his paperwork, Angela walked back into the room with a glare on her face. “You can't have Uber's corporate number as your emergency contact, Tommy.”
He gave her his award winning smile. “Hey, you called me Tommy!”
“I'm being serious with you. Who is Gary P.? Did you make him up?”
“Absolutely not,” Tommy gasped, feigning offense. “Gary P. is the lovely man who will be taking me home tomorrow. For the low, low price of $42.35. That's before tip, of course.”
“So you put your Uber driver down and added the corporate number?”
“You're in the wrong field, Angela,” Tommy said, wiggling his finger toward her. “You should be a detective.”
Tommy hadn't asked, but he was pretty sure by the face Angela was giving him that she was a mother. “What is this?” she asked. “Too macho to let anyone know you're hurt?”
“I've actually worked very hard to rid myself of toxic masculinity, thank you very much.”
“Tommy-”
“You've been a nurse a long time, Angela,” Tommy interrupted, beginning to feel a little irritated by her refusal to let it go. “I'm sure I'm not your first patient without an emergency contact.”
“You're not,” she agreed. “But with your job, you could have your captain or a coworker-”
“If I get hurt on the job, my captain and coworkers will already know. I'm not going to have them running down to the hospital because I didn't properly secure a saw. I texted my captain that I'd be out of commission for a while, he texted back. It's all good.”
“A parent?”
“No mom.”
“Your dad then?”
He let out a humorless laugh. “Angela, please, don't joke like that.”
“If something serious were to happen to you, you need someone on the form.”
Tommy rested his head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “If something serious were to happen to me, let it happen,” he said. “We're all gonna die anyway, don't need anyone to watch.”
He could feel her watching him. Could sense the pity. He closed his eyes, hoping she got the hint.
After a few seconds, he heard her shuffling around, and when he opened his eyes again, she was gone.
*****
Gary P. wasn't exactly the kindest man Tommy had ever met. He seemed frustrated that he had to pick Tommy up in the first place, as if he hadn't accepted the ride. He was impatient, huffy, took two wrong turns, and practically shooed Tommy out of the car the second they arrived at his house.
“You know, Gary,” Tommy said as he pushed the car door open and took a wobbly step onto his driveway, “I'm beginning to regret putting you as my emergency contact.”
Before Gary could even register what Tommy had said, he slammed the door and turned toward his house.
As soon as he got inside, he headed for the couch. He tossed down his keys, phone, and the bag of pain meds from the hospital pharmacy before sitting down himself. He propped his leg up on the coffee table and leaned his head back, closing his eyes and falling asleep.
When he woke back up it was due to a throbbing in his leg. He couldn't help the moan that escaped him as he tried to pull himself back up from the slumped position he'd sunk into.
He reached over for his meds and grabbed the bottle out of the bag, popping off the lid and shaking out one of the pills into his palm.
He needed water. He'd never been able to swallow pills without a drink of some kind. But water was all the way in the kitchen and the kitchen felt very far away right now. Especially when he could feel his heart beating in his leg.
Still, he knew the pain would only get worse if he didn't get up. So, he stood and his groans turned into whimpers with each step he took.
He ignored the pain as best as he could, stopping when he reached the fridge to lean against it with his hands gripping the door handle.
After letting himself take a few deep breaths, he opened the fridge and grabbed a water. He opened the bottle quickly and swallowed the pill, feeling a slight vindication at the fact that he'd done it and he could go back and rest again.
And that's when it hit him. Standing in the middle of his kitchen, staring back toward the living room, it hit him all at once.
He'd need to fix himself something to eat soon, or order something at least. Either way, he'd be walking to the kitchen or the front door. He needed to go to the bathroom. Needed a shower. Needed to rewrap his leg. He desperately wanted to sleep in his bed but wasn't sure if he could get back up after he laid down. Then he remembered he was in the middle of washing his sheets when he hurt himself so they were still in the washer, probably soured, which meant he needed to get his spare set of sheets out of the linen closet and make his bed.
He'd have to get another Uber in a day or two to go pick up his truck. God, what if he got Gary again? He needed to let his captain know when he'd be back at work. Needed to remember to get a release form when he went back to the doctor for a checkup. He needed to go grocery shopping. He needed to make sure all his bills were paid for the month. He needed... he needed help.
He needed someone.
He was so damn tired.
His eyes burned as he rested his elbows on his countertop, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes.
He was fine.
It was fine.
He didn't need anybody.
The couch would be fine for tonight.
He'd figure everything else out on his own.
He'd always figured everything out on his own.
This was no different. He just needed the pain to stop and to get some rest and he'd be fine.
With a deep breath, he straightened up. He ignored his blurry, wet eyes as he took each pain-filled step back to the couch. And if a few tears fell down his face on the way, well, at least no one would ever know.
*****
It took three and a half weeks before his leg was healed enough for him to return to work.
There was no big fanfare on his first day back, which he was thankful for.
A couple of people gave him a high five and asked him how gnarly the scar was. One guy told him he was forced to take three of his shifts, so Tommy owed him. His captain kept him on light duty and told him to make sure he let him know if he felt any pain.
Other than that, it was a regular day.
Another week passed until he could go back up in the chopper. He was thankful to be back in the air again. Back where he belonged. He could forget everything when he was in the air.
Just focus on flying. That's the way he liked it.
It was in the middle of his second shift back as pilot when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
He stared at the name that lit up on his screen, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before answering.
“Howie? What's up, Man?”
“Hey, Tommy! Long time no talk, I know, but I, uh, I got a big favor to ask.”
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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god my throat is raw from yelling / panicking. And part of me is wary wondering if it’ll happen again. omgggg
#purrs#i think i knew it was a false alarm it just didn’t feel real. but what fucked me up is that i couldn’t t honk of what to bring. i knew we#we’re close to an exit so we would be fine and i know you’re not supposed to delay getting out and that the stuff is just stuff. but my#journals and diaries.. like i brought them all here for some new years reflections and i couldn’t bring myself to bring any of them. or my#sketchbook. or my switch or ds with my animal crossing town. idk. i guess smth flashed through my head like so much of what matters to me#is digital now but that’s not fucking true at all. why did i have a hard time deciding and brought nothing when my sketchbook is the most#important thing i have i think bc it’s my scrapbook / diary. it just fucked me ip so bad. now im staring at the ceiling and my throat hurts#and im going to be so tired tomorrow. that was so scary#we didn’t even make it outside bc the alarm stopped before we left the room bc we were scrambling to find coats and masks (lol) and them my#mom called the front desk and they said it was a false alarm. so idk. for those 45 seconds it could’ve been life or death and that’s so much#to think about. everything important went out the window it was just like wtf is even happening rn and my dad said it was a fire and i was l#like how do you know. ugh. that was so scary#like what fucked me up was. all the pieces of me are spread so thin in so many journals and shit that idk which one to bring. i would have t#to take the complete collection. and i can’t do that so i have to leave all of them. that’s the choice i made in that primal moment. it#QUITE LITERALLY does not matter and is not the most important part of this to be worried abt / fucked up over but that really shook me
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