#Not trying to attack anyone in particular I just think it's kind of funny

[aingeal98]

I'm not the number one Jason fan he's like my 8th favourite batfam member but I do find it funny when Bruce Dick and Tim fans complain about him and his fans because almost everything they're mad about also applies to their favourite characters and fanbase just with like 20+ extra years added on. Jason only really started benefitting from the bat narrative at the expense of other characters around the New 52 era. Bruce had been doing that for years prior and still continues to be the number one most likely to be written as a Gary Stu. Dick and Tim also had years of this. "Fans now make everything Roy related revolve around Jason." well yes and that sucks especially if you're a Roy fan but may I introduce you to the Justice League, the Titans and Young Justice. A solid 70% of fanworks that tag these comic characters revolve around the bat on their team. Your best hope is to get a popular non comic version of these characters with no bats that builds up a solid fanbase. Otherwise you end up like Hal Jordan or Tim's superhero friends. It's a problem that exists far outside of Jason and when you're a fan of one of the main three who most often suffer from World's Specialist Boy syndrome at the expense of characters around them it does sort of feel like you're standing on a giant trash heap loudly complaining that the slightly smaller trash heap beside you is stinking up the neighbourhood.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I admire you so much for being able to share your experiences as an aro ace. It’s so funny, because most of my community knows I’m aro ace, but like, I’m so scared of sharing my personal experience and I think it’s because of how much it hurts to think of that part of my life.

The number of years I spent thinking I was broken because I didn’t feel any kind of attraction to others, forcing myself to date in the hopes that it would “just click” like people kept telling me, getting stressed and mentally distraught when I tried to force myself to show any sort of affection… It’s a hard thing for me to relive a lot of that. I very distinctly remember trying to kiss a guy I was dating that I didn’t want to kiss, but felt I needed to. I spiraled into such a bad panic attack that I drove two hours in a terrible blizzard just so I could get back home to what I felt was a safe place.

I think the hardest part for me was people not understanding my aro ace-ness. The difficulties of simply having a male friend around and having to listen to people constantly ask me if I have a crush on them, then acting as if I’m being coy when I say no (even though there’s no indication of that in my voice). I started dreading inviting my friend to events for that specific reason.

When I did try to date, all it did was add more stress to my life. I was constantly expected to be spending every free moment I had with these guys, and I didn’t want to do that. I don’t think it clicked with my family until I broke down in a hysterical sob one day because of how much guilt-tripping was being done to me when I told them I didn’t want to hang out with him.

And the icing on the cake… the number of times I’ve been told to find a partner because “they don’t want me to reach 50 and be alone and miserable.” To be told that romance is the only way you’ll find true happiness… it’s painful. To be told that the things that bring you joy are not true happiness, that your platonic relationships mean nothing in the grand scheme of things… it hurts far more than anyone realizes.

I should probably stop here, ‘cause I’m getting all choked up, but I guess the bottom line is, thank you so much for sharing your experience and making me feel validated. It means so much to me. Keep being awesome, my friend 💕

I'm so sorry for all the hardships... I recognize myself so much in a lot of what you're sharing. I hate in particular that people act like "ending up alone and miserable" is 100% on you, like THEY don't have a say in that and a role to play in that and they're not basically actively contributing to that alienation RIGHT NOW. If people cared about anything beyond a sexual or romantic partner and kids, if people remembered that friendship is a thing and it's a thing that oughta matter, that would solve the problem much better than forcing everyone to conform against their will.

The only reason I feel comfortable enough to say I'm aroace at this point is because one day when I was 21, a girl I told it to just replied "Oh, okay", which was the first time in my life I ever got a reply like this and not a slew of questions or dismissal. That made my brain explode. In a good way. I'll always be grateful for her, she probably will never know how much. She opened up the door for me to be vocal about myself more confidently and build the invaluable support system of friends, and my partner, and my family, that I have today, and that in turn works as a virtuous circle.

And the only reason I feel comfortable sharing it in the form of comics now is because I did once in 2022 during asexual awareness week just to try some vent art for fun, and people didn't ignore it, or didn't dismiss it, but actually reacted positively to it. That encouraged me to make more. The reason I'm this comfortable and vocal about it online today is thanks to you guys here reading this. Having a positive reaction to what IS pretty much vent art disguised as comedy also shows me I'm not alone. This whole thing is mutual. So thank YOU, and thanks to anyone reading my stuff, for also making me feel validated.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

@potatoobsessed999 oh eyyy you read the scholomance books! talk to me about the scholomance books!!!

Oh, lots of thoughts!

I’ve only read the first and third ones (and read the TVtropes entry for the second), but I enjoyed them a lot! The biggest thing that sticks out to me as a very intentional theme is that, unlike most action-oriented stories, they’re not really about the protagonist defeating a main villain or groups of villains: instead, the antagonist is the status quo, the structure of society and people’s acceptance of that structure. It’s not about defeating the bad people because, essentially, everyone is the bad people, and everyone is the good people: the third book in particular focuses on both the willingness of ordinary people to do and accept horrific things and their willingness to do better when they’re shown an alternative and pushed towards it.

One of the things that the series solidified for me is the idea that ‘there is no alternative’ is the voice of evil. People will do and accept terribly evil things so long as they’re convinced that these things are the only option, or that every other possible option is worse. El’s mother stands out as the character who defies this: she will not live in an enclave, even for the sake of her infant daughter’s safety, knowing what they are built on. She will do and sacrifice anything for her daughter except going against her conscience. This makes her bargain/petition - even though she could not know and did not intend its consequences - appropriate to the story, because it’s flowing from a place of sincerity: an alternative to the evil of the current system is what she cares about most, because it’s basically the only chance for her daughter to live in a decent world. (I was going to compare the low-level use of malia to the carbon economy - pretty sure I did get that comparison off tvtropes - which is funny because if anyone in the wealthy parts of the world is managing to live a carbon-neutral life, it would be El’s mom.)

El’s fascinating because she’s such a cranky jerk while at the same time having such strong principles underneath that, and especially in the earlier parts of the first book is such a great unreliable narrator. She’s not liked, but she’s also terrible at recognizing when people are genuinely being nice to her, and tends to attribute pragmatic or self-interested motives to people who are actually being kind. She starts getting over this over the course of the book, but even in The Golden Enclaves she takes a while to realize that a woman who is willing to cross the world for her is actually her friend. The funny connection is that she also deliberately attributes selfish and hostile motives to herself that don’t line up with her actions - again, mainly in the first book. It’s like she’s deliberately trying to be more cynical than she really is.

I don’t know how much of this is from tvtropes and how much from the books that I read, but there’s a bit where one if the enclaver kids says that the Scholomance isn’t that dangerous and El just boggles, because she and the other non-enclavers are being attacked on basically a daily basis, and I thought that was a solid understanding of how privilege works: all the things you just don’t notice or think about because they’re not part of your life, to the point where it’s strange and confusing to realize that these are things other people deal with every day.

Oh, one more thing. It seems like one of the things that pushes El to be a good person is that, due to the nature of her powers, she can’t make small moral compromises (e.g., regarding use of malia): she can stick to the straight and narrow, or she can topple off a cliff. So much of the rest of the series is about where the choice to make small, apparently harmless or unavoidable moral compromises leads to making bigger and bigger ones (the mals exist because of low-level malia use worldwide, which leads to more low-level malia use to fight off the mals, leading to even more mals, leading to the enclaves with their horrific secret). While El’s dark power is stated as being important in the books in order for her to have the firepower to deal with mawmouths and other mals, I think it’s also a key element in who she becomes, because the path of the ‘lesser evil’ has been effectively closed off to her; she can choose good, or she can choose the ‘greater evil’, and she’s confronted with needing to reject the choice of the ‘greater evil’ nearly every day. This - and her mother, who raised her as someone who would reject evil - is what gives her the foundation to become the hero she does.

[incandescentflower]

Things I am still curious about/clamoring for as we keep going with Wandee Goodday in no particular order:

(some things we know will happen, others are mere speculation or what I personally want to see)

-Finding out what happened to Dee's parents. And does it have to do with his flashback he had on the crosswalk? If not, what is that about?

-Finding out what exactly happened to Yak's mother. Is there hinting that Dee's family had an accident related to Yak's mom's death - maybe, maybe not -there were emergency sirens but that could be from heart attack or other acute emergencies - there was no sign of external injuries during that scene, but anyone who watches dramas knows that these kind of coincidences are common to set up conflict

-Getting to know the deal with Yak's father (and step-mother, who is in MDL credits)?

-Finding out who Luke is playing?? I can't even fathom at this point.

-MEETING KAO'S LOVE INTEREST (I will not ask if there will be one and will flip tables if he doesn't get one.) I will die laughing if it is Luke because that seems so weird to me, but shows have surprised me before. Still rooting for you, rando handsome bodyguard.

-More grandma time. We are getting to see her next episode and she needs to hang around more. I want her to become Yak's cool grandma too, no question.

-Taem helping Yak face his feelings. I think Yak already knows pretty well, but I think he thinks Dee doesn't return them so he's better off trying with Taem, which if true, is a little funny because Taem is the one who has clearly given Yak an answer. But that means his whole scheme is pretty safe, actually. He says he doesn't want to risk losing her but he already knows he won't. Dee on the other hand...

-I would specifically love to see Yak confess to Taem and come to fully understand in the process how he doesn't feel for Taem anymore the way he feels for Dee.

-I can't wait for the Thai travel ad episode where Cher and Yei get to go on a couple date with Yak and Dee. Just more Cher and Yei in general, kthanks, show

-I am seated for the moment when Yak realizes that Ter is going after Dee and gets pissed. Yak is one who is so calm that him getting truly angry is something to look forward to with interest. This Yak seems very different from pilot trailer Yak in that regard and I want to see if that holds up. I'd like a little Yak jealousy, but mostly I want to see Yak standing up for Dee because based on how he is characterized I think his biggest problem is going to be that Ter still seems to be jerking Dee around and Yak won't have it.

-I want to know if Dr. Kwan realizes that Ter is a lost cause and steps away? I keep trying to understand what purpose she serves besides being one of only a few significant female characters. She made Ter's claim he liked women seem more plausible for a few episodes, but I hope she gets to have more agency.

-I want to see Dee going to cheer for Yak at the ringside so badly. Bonus, Dee braiding Yak's hair (or unbraiding) or some wound care. There may have been some foreshadowing of Yak getting more seriously injured like a concussion - they talked about the risks of him going up a weight class and I was like hrm.

-I will be so happy to see Dee going to Yak's graduation. The pilot trailer hammers on Yak not wanting to be a boxer. There's signs that is still a thread in the drama. I think we'll find out more what Yak really wants for his future. I'd love to get more of that in detail and not a broad brush.

We have far to go, but putting this all out there makes me hope that they will do these plot points some justice instead of taking some random turns that are out of character. I'm so interested to see how all these stories unfold.

I will continue to be mulling this so any other speculations, hopes or observations are more than welcome. :)

[the-mountain-flower]

The Exiled and The Outcast

After being exiled from his home thanks to the discovery of his unique yet dangerous nature, Dainix searches for any way to learn more about himself, in the hopes of being able to control it. This leads him to search an old, abandoned castle, which is rumored to house a monster. Falst has been hiding out in the castle for a little while now, and finds himself unusually curious about the stranger who, for once, doesn't seem inclined to harm him.

Chapter One: Here's Where He Meets Prince Charming...

Content warnings: Dehumanizationbut for a fantasy non-human so... de-person-ization?, fear of accidental arson/book burning

Truthfully, Falst didn't know why he was watching this stranger.

He stayed hidden, of course, like he did when anyone entered the castle. Still, he should have left for the darkest, most secluded corner of the building the second he saw them. Every instinct in his body screamed to run and hide, that this person was dangerous. They had several weapons on them, held a spear in their hands, and looked confident to use it if prompted. They probably wouldn't think twice before trying to kill Falst the minute they laid eyes on him.

Yet, something about them seemed… different. Against his better judgment, Falst found himself stalking the stranger, trying to figure out what their deal was, and why they were in this castle.

Dainix was starting to think he'd never find what he was looking for. In a building so large, it would be a miracle if he didn't get so lost that he’d have to climb out a window to escape.

Making things even more difficult, was trying to navigate and stay on the lookout for a monster he knew nothing about.

The accounts from the villagers had been… varied, to say the least. At least half of them were stories in the vein of “my cousin's friend once said they caught a glimpse of it”, and he had a hard time telling what was and wasn't exaggerated. Most of them said it was some kind of chimera, though that wasn't exactly specific.

Dainix clutched his spear tight. He had handled monsters before, many times, but not on so little information, and almost never alone.

This place… it was so big and empty. The dark stone, echoey halls, and extinguished braziers extenuated the vastness, and the air around him was eerily quiet aside from his own footsteps. He pressed forward anyway. He was holding on to such an unlikely hope of a chance he could find something helpful… because it was all he had.

On top of that, for the last half an hour, it felt like he was being watched.

Clang!

Dainix whirled around, spear at the ready.

Falst silently cursed when he knocked over the old, rusted brazier, scolding himself for getting distracted.

The stranger had immediately reacted to the noise, pointing their spear to the fallen object.

They scanned the area, and made eye contact with Falst.

Fuck! Falst tensed, ready to run.

To his surprise, the stranger lowered their spear. “Sorry, I didn't know anyone else was here.”

Falst froze. “What?”

“I was told this place was abandoned.”

Falst narrowed his eyes, analyzing the stranger. They didn’t seem like they were going to attack, at least not right now. “It is abandoned.” He said, in a tone that hopefully conveyed that he wasn’t interested in elaborating.

“Well, I was told there was a monster in-”

“Ha!”

“How is that funny?”

“It's not.” Falst scowled. They sent a monster hunter after me?! “There’s no monster here.” He started to walk away.

“Wait,” the stranger called from behind, “have you been here before?”

Falst wasn’t expecting that particular question. “Maybe. Why?”

“It's just that, I'm looking for something.”

“I already told you, there's no monster here.”

“That's not it. I- I came here because, I was told there was a library?”

Falst gave him a confused look.

“I was wondering if you would happen to know where I could find it-”

“West wing.” Falst dashed away before the stranger could ask any more questions.

“Wait,” they called to him as he left, “Thank you!”

Falst didn’t respond this time, just fled.

In the Rauan Desert, home to people who wielded fire magic, paper and wood weren’t exactly common materials. Anything written down was often melted onto glass, but most of their knowledge and stories were preserved orally. They built with glass and metal.

Because of this, Dainix had never seen this much paper in his life, much less all in one place. The ceiling reached several meters above Dainix’s head, rows of wooden shelves stretching floor-to-ceiling in neat, yet dusty, ordered rows. Similarly wooden ladders were connected to the top of each shelf, some of them so worn by time and neglect they looked like they would break from much less weight than they were meant to hold. It was probably a dream come true for anyone whose knowledge came from written works.

It made Dainix uncomfortable. If he had any better option, he especially wouldn’t be in here.

He exited that large room as quickly as he’d entered, closing both doors behind him and taking a moment away to collect himself. He could do this… he could hold himself together long enough to find what he was looking for.

He had to.

The scholar he’d met during his travels spoke highly of the library in the abandoned castle. Apparently, rumor had it one of the last residents was fascinated with “highly unusual” forms of magic, and owned a vast collection of information on elemental magic-like abilities that were, nonetheless, not elemental magic, which were supposedly stored somewhere in there.

It’s wasn’t much to go off of, but still more than he expected to find at all. No matter how vague, a lead was a lead, and this was all he had.

Dainix inhaled deeply, and exhaled. He had years of experience learning how to manage his emotions. This wasn’t much different, just with a different context and higher stakes. So long as he didn’t lose control, there was no reason to think he would accidentally set the entire library on fire and subsequently destroy this clearly important trove of knowledge.

Inhale, exhale. He could handle this.

Dainix turned around, and opened the doors again. He might as well get started now, he had a lot of searching to do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hardest part of this was coming up with a fic title tbh. It was sitting in my files for the longest time as 'beauty and the beast au' and it took me the better part of a day after finishing everything else to decide on a title I was satisfied with (still might change it tho). Hopefully this'll finally get my friend who also loves Beauty and the Beast to read Aurora crossing fingers Remember to drink water, eat food, take your meds (if applicable), and get enough sleep. Love you all, and have a great [insert time here]! <3

[adragonsfriend]

Dooku and Anxiety?

So I completely made up that Dooku regularly had panic attacks as a kid for chapter 4 of This Story Can Kill You in Biting His Own Tale.

The kind of dignity Dooku projects absolutely reminds me of a person feeling like if they can just control their expression and appear totally aloof then they can control everything around them too.

By the time we meet him as Darth Tyranus, so much of him is image, and that image is specifically dignity and solemnity. To me that speaks of a need for control, because seriousness and solemnity are a fabulous way to stall for time in trying to figure out what to do without revealing you have no idea what you're doing.

There is the consideration that Jedi in general are known for their composure, but when other Jedi do it, there's obvious personality injected in it. Obiwan has his sarcasm and straight up flirting banter alongside that focused calm. Yoda makes exasperating, silly jokes in between giving cryptic, meaningful advice--I aspire to make old person jokes half as funny as his when I'm old. Anakin is as blunt as ever, even in his best moments. Even Luke picks up some of that Jedi calm, but is still manages to show he is forthright, caring, and just a little winy.

Dooku on the other hand, my entire impression of him is his composure, and the moment when it cracks--the moment he's about to die. All that is beneath it is fear. Admittedly, that's very reasonable in the particular moment, but I think it would hold true even if he hadn't been about to die. As a Sith, Dooku could totally decide to let out lots of his emotions, physically, verbally, whatever, just like we see Vader do, but he doesn't. There's a reason the Jedi don't realize Dooku has changed until he attacks them, and it's at least partially that he hasn't changed his behavior significantly. Despite the "breaking of chains" promised by the Sith Code, Dooku keeps his facade even when he no longer needs to fool anyone at all.

In the clone wars episode Ambush (one of my personal favorites), we get the fabulous moment of Yoda and Dooku seeing each other over a holocall. Dooku speaking to Ventress is angry and commanding. He feels in control of her, and so he doesn't need to control himself. When Yoda--someone Dooku knows very well he does not control--arrives, it's a different story. Yoda initiates their verbal exchange, and Dooku mainly follows his cues in their conversation, just deflecting Yoda's assertion that darksiders are cowardly. His anger and impulse is tucked away and hidden, and he becomes passively reactive. Even those reactions are tied up in being witty and formal, rather than expressing any personality.

The image of a young Dooku struggling with anxiety and panic attacks and Yoda, who would be only a little shorter than him at that point, helping him calm down, gives me a lot of feelings. It so deeply echoes what Obiwan and Anakin's early years together must have been like (though the anxiety is from different causes) that it just--I'm a sucker for lineage feels ok?

[amazingmsme]

do u have any npmd headcanons? ive been obsessed with it the last couple days but the tk fanbase is basically non existent </3

Anon: do you have any tickle hcs for the npmd characters? excited 4 your spankoffski bros fic later this month ❤️

Sorry it took a while, but I finally got around to finishing these! This got a little long because I have a lot of Thoughts about these nerdy prudes (& jock)

Gotta start off with the queen p herself,

Grace Chasity

Even tho she’s an only child, she’s a great babysitter so I think she’s a very silly & playful ler

That said, she’s absolutely the kind of annoying preppy kid who’s way too friendly & thinks you’re close when you’re like, acquaintances at best & will try to tickle you randomly

Steph has actually punched her because she expected it to be Max or another bully. She said she was sorry even tho she wasn’t really that sorry lmao

She thinks that tickling is a wholesome enough activity to allow her peers to engage in it (yes, ALLOW them)

She prefers to give out quick pokes or squeezes rather than outright tickling unless she considers you a close friend

She prefers to be more on the giving end for some particular reason (power trip)

She’s pretty moderately ticklish in all the usual spots, probably a solid 6 out of 10 in total

She associates it with family bonding & her parents tickled her a lot as a kid, so it reminds her of a happy time in her life

Her worst spots are her tummy, neck & feet

Ruth

This poor touch starved baby is so lee you have no idea

She’s definitely more lee than ler mostly because she’s too shy to initiate anything herself

The only ones that are exempt are Peter & Richie because she’s gotta find some way to assert dominance in their group

Her favorite target is Richie because it’s the easiest way to win their playful arguments

The only place that’s off limits are her underarms. She’s way too self conscious to let anyone try to tickle her there & she’s afraid it would hurt because of the blisters, but she’s ticklish in plenty other places so she’s still easily wreckable

She’s absolutely part of this community are you kidding? She has a blog & writes fics & everything. She daydreams about her friends tickling her & cuddling her but she could never bring herself to tell them that she likes it

They know tho, she tries to entice them by stretching a lot & being sassy & it works most of the time. She also never tells them to stop either

Her most ticklish spots are her neck/ears, ribs & back

She gets so excited but also so NERVOUS if she thinks you’re about to tickle her, it’s the cutest thing ever. She stutters a lot & backs up & when she finally tries to make a run for it, she kinda just goes back & forth because she doesn’t know the best escape route & gets caught so easily

Has a really sweet, high pitched giggle that she thinks is embarrassing & she covers her face whenever she’s tickled

She has to work herself up to tickle someone, even if she’s getting revenge

Her first instinct when tickled is to curl up & hide

She gets really flustered when asked if she’s ticklish & it’s obvious that she is even when she insists she “really isn’t guys!”

Richie

He’s got the power of God & anime on his side, & he’ll need it with how ticklish he is!

He’s so jittery & twitchy any time you touch him because he’s used to his friends randomly tickling him because he always has such funny reactions

Flails around & screams before cackling at the top of his lungs

He likes to talk a big game to try & scare you off but as soon as your hands touch his sides he’s crumbling to the ground

Dude always wears shorts no matter the weather so his knees are free real estate

He also wears baggy shirts & hoodies so it’s so easy for Peter & Ruth to slip their hands inside when he’s least expecting it

Gets giggly & panicky right before an attack & desperately tries to bargain for a way out (it never works)

Despite how ticklish he is, he’s usually the one to instigate

It’s his go to method for winning an argument against Ruth, so long as she doesn’t strike first

He likes to deliver rapid pokes or squeezes while acting like he’s not doing anything

When he’s tickling his friends, he just carries on the conversation but he’s talking way louder to be heard over their laughter

He’s not super easily embarrassed because he’s fully aware cringe is dead but if you do get him to blush, he turns BRIGHT red

When he laughs he squints his eyes & leans forward & usually holds onto someone for support

He has a very loud & borderline shrill laugh

His worst spots are his ribs, sides, & knees (specifically the backs but you didn’t hear it from me)

Peter

This poor dude is SO lee coded, sorry I don’t make the rules

He’s the younger brother so Automatic Lee

Ted used to play goofy tickle games with him & now that he’s older he insists he’s “grown out of it” but Ted still instigates their old shenanigans. Sometimes he just gets a lil nostalgic & decides to torment his baby bro

Peter tries to act like he can’t stand them, but secretly he has just as much fun as Ted. It reminds him of when they used to be closer & things weren’t as bad, & it’s a way for them to connect after years of growing apart

That said, he will still fight tooth & nail to get away because he knows how ruthless Ted can be when it comes to him

Wasn’t until he was in high school that Peter really started gunning for revenge

Out of the nerd trio, he’s def the favorite target. He’s got a really adorable, infectious laugh & is kinda uncoordinated with his king gangly limbs, so he’s an easy target

When he tries to be the only reasonable one, they’ll tickle him until he caves in to their demands

He’s so skinny so the boney areas like ribs, hips & knees are gonna be major hot spots, but he’s crazy ticklish pretty much everywhere

He acts annoyed & put out after he’s tickled because he doesn’t want anyone to know he doesn’t really mind it, but he kinda over corrects into the “I’ve been waiting five fucking years” asshole territory

He has a very traditional, dorky laugh that’s high pitched & loud & he snorts a lot & it embarrasses him to no end but once Steph heard it she’s like “no this is the greatest sound I’ve ever heard”

He gets super giggly if you even threaten him with tickles & he starts to protect himself by hugging his arms around his chest but it does NOTHING to help & only gives them a clue as to where he’s ticklish

He either thrashes around like a bull in a china cabinet or curls up like an armadillo, those are your options

His laugh has a wide range from high pitched giggles to loud dorky cackles & it’s the best. He & Ted have a similar laugh

Peter likes to tease him that he got his tickle spots from him & is always forced to take it back

Literally a walking tickle spot, but his worst spots are knees, hips, ribs neck/ears & back. Dude is too ticklish for his own good

Steph

My favorite girlie pop, she tries to act so cool & aloof but she is actually sooo ticklish it’s not even funny (can’t stand the new trend of making all the girl characters unstoppable lers & not very ticklish while giving all the attention to the men. Girl bosses can be ticklish too!)

That said, she can do a pretty good job of hiding it if she doesn’t like the person trying to tickle her. But if her guard is down & she’s in a good mood, she’s a giggly mess in seconds

I think trying to hard to be the cool kid & the mayors daughter puts a lot of stress on her, so she’s pretty willing to let herself laugh & have fun otherwise

She only tickles people she’s close or comfortable with, but she likes to strike when they’re least expecting it

She has long nails & knows how to use them to get the best reactions

Her methods range from lightly dragging her nails over your skin to quick scribbles to ruthless squeezes. Her attacks are sporadic to keep her lee guessing & on the edge of their seat!

When she teases, it’s a lot of compliments & cooing over you & trust me, it’s just as flustering as it sounds

Just because she can hold her own in a tickle fight doesn’t mean she’s not devastatingly ticklish in her own right. She tries to claim she’s not as ticklish as she actually is, but it’s evident by how hard she’s laughing

Her laugh is really sweet & honestly such a bright sound it literally lights up a room. & don’t even get me started on her smile

Before she cracks & laughs she has the widest grin you’ve ever seen because she’s determined to stay tough & strong. It always starts with a giggle & works it’s way up to loud bubbly laughter

She has dimples but only when she’s REALLY smiling so most people don’t know. But you can see them when she’s getting tickled

She’s a squirmer but other than that, doesn’t really fight back aside from normal thrashing

Her most ticklish spots are her thighs, tummy & armpits but her neck & ears are also pretty high up there

Pete is in love with her laugh almost as much as she’s in love with his (when it comes to being a simp my girl takes the cake)

Max

Mean little shit but I know y’all would be disappointed if I didn’t include him (& honestly so would I)

Is a switch at heart but forces himself to be full ler because “only chicks like being tickled” (whatever you say bro)

Has actually used tickling to bully the nerds for a short while after the anti bullying assembly because “it doesn’t count if I don’t hurt them!” But it wore off kinda quick because he just liked hurting them more jxgaakdhf

He’ll still resort to it if he’s in a better mood than normal or wants to embarrass more than maim

Peter & Richie are the usual victims of this kind of torment, but he treats them a lot nicer when he’s tickling them than when he uses other methods

Still an asshole & his teases border more on the lines of bullying because he’s gotta stick to the brand

His normal victims tho are the other jocks. They roughhouse a lot & while he’s asserted his dominance as the top dog at school, during tickle fights his friends aren’t as scared to stand up to him & give him a taste of his own medicine

He gets a little too into it when tickling someone & can get a little rough sometimes. If he realizes he’s hurting rather than tickling he’ll be sure to lighten his touch because that’s not his goal at the moment

When he’s tickled he tries to throw punches so watch out! But if it’s his friends he’ll purposefully miss but try to act like he’s fighting for his life because there’s no way he likes this! It’s not fun, you’re making him laugh against his will!

Spoiler alert he does think it’s fun tho, he just won’t say

Poor Grace is his absolute favorite victim & he will launch surprise attacks on her in the halls when she least expects it. & while she does think it’s fun & wholesome, she knows that he doesn’t see it like that because he’s just a dirty dude! So she gets all flustered & huffy when he does it & he thinks she’s super hot when she’s angry & worked up

She’s got so fed up with his shit she gets in his face like “let’s see how YOU like it!” & his heart’s beating so fast because she’s so close to him & he’s right about to make a move & kiss her but instead screams at the top of his lungs when she digs into his sides

He’s more ticklish than he’s willing to admit & is more sensitive on the more toned parts of his body like abs, thighs & shoulders with his belly being his most ticklish spot

He’s lowkey embarrassed by tickling because he thinks it’s fun & makes him feel all giddy so he tries not to end up of the receiving end. It still happens tho😊

In one of the infinite timelines in Hatchetfield, the nerds’ plan works as planned & Max loves the party so much that he realizes he had them pegged all wrong & starts to hang out with them & is over all nicer to them & he doles out lots of playful tickle attacks on his favorite dorks

That’s all I got for now! Hope y’all enjoy, stay nerdy!

[aghost-writer]

Love Me... Until the End

Chapter 2

This is a Yandere Tokyo Ghoul x Female Reader Fic!

MDNI!!!

The quaint coffee shop in the 20th Ward, Anteiku, buzzed with the low murmur of conversation and the clinking of cups. It was the kind of place that made you forget the world outside, a safe haven where you could sit, relax, and enjoy the warmth of good company and even better coffee. On this particular day, three close friends gathered around a small table near the window.

Hideyoshi Nagachika, with his ever-present mischievous grin, sat opposite Y/N, his laughter echoing through the small space as he thumped the table in amusement. Y/N, her usual nonchalant demeanor in full force, sat beside him, a small giggle escaping her lips. Their friend, Ken Kaneki, sat across from them, blushing slightly, looking rather uncomfortable. 

Hide couldn't resist the teasing, and it was clear he had found his moment. "You can't take her to a bookstore on the first date, can you, Kaneki?" he asked, grinning widely, knowing full well how much it embarrassed his friend.

Kaneki shifted in his seat, taking a sip of his coffee to try and hide his blush. "It's not that funny," he muttered, his voice betraying his unease.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, glancing at Kaneki before turning her gaze back to Hide. She leaned back in her chair, arms casually folded. "I wouldn’t mind a date at a bookstore," she said in her usual, unaffected tone. "I mean, if I could manage to get a date at all."

Her words hung in the air, and for a brief moment, Kaneki's face flushed a deeper shade of red. He turned his head away, clearly embarrassed by the attention. But it didn't go unnoticed by Hide, who gave him a teasing glance.

"See? Even (Y/N) thinks it’s a good idea!" Hide laughed, clearly enjoying the moment.

Kaneki, who clearly didn't want to dwell on the topic for too long, sighed in relief. "Right," he said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction, "but, uh... what makes you the expert, (Y/N)? Where would you take someone on a date?"

Y/N’s expression didn’t change, as though the question didn’t faze her at all. She tilted her head thoughtfully, considering his question for a few seconds. "I don't know," she answered simply, shrugging slightly. "It wouldn't really matter to me where we go, as long as I'm with someone I like."

Kaneki’s heart skipped a beat at her words, and despite his best efforts to hide it, a soft blush spread across his face. He turned away, trying to focus on his coffee, but Hide noticed.

"Look at you, Kaneki," Hide teased, leaning forward with a grin. "Blushing like that. It's cute. But seriously, are you seeing anyone, (Y/N)?"

The question came out of nowhere, and Kaneki’s eyes widened in shock, immediately sitting up straighter. Y/N, who was completely unfazed, glanced at Hide with a deadpan expression, her usual cool demeanor firmly intact. 

"Hide, cut it out," Kaneki said hurriedly, sensing that the question was making Y/N uncomfortable, though she didn't show it. "You don't have to make her feel awkward."

Y/N simply shook her head, her lips curving into a faint smile. "No," she said, offering the simplest answer possible, the blush on her cheeks barely noticeable against her calm expression. She smiled again at Kaneki, an action that only caused him to blush even harder, his heart racing slightly at the unspoken implication.

The trio's attention then shifted to the television mounted on the wall nearby, where breaking news was being broadcast. A ghoul attack had taken place in the vicinity, making the already uneasy atmosphere in the coffee shop feel even heavier. Hide furrowed his brows as he glanced toward the screen.

"They’re hitting close to home," he said, concern evident in his voice. "I think one of us should walk you home, (Y/N), just in case."

Kaneki immediately nodded in agreement. "I can walk you home," he said, his voice soft, though there was a certain determination in his tone. 

Y/N, however, wasn’t quite as eager to accept their concern. She raised a hand, dismissing the idea with a casual shrug. "No, I don’t want to be a bother."

Kaneki interrupted her before she could say more, his voice earnest and filled with resolve. "You’ll never be a bother to me, (Y/N). I’ll walk you home anytime."

Y/N's gaze softened slightly at his words, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she shifted her attention back to Hide, who had a teasing glint in his eyes. 

"Anyway," Hide said, grinning once more, "so, who is she?" He gestured toward a woman in the cafe, a purple-haired, red-glasses-wearing individual who was reading a book not too far from their table. "Is that her?"

Kaneki and Y/N both turned to look, but after a moment’s thought, both shook their heads in unison.

Hide, ever the mischievous one, chuckled. "She’s pretty cute though. I wouldn’t mind taking her on a date."

Y/N tilted her head slightly as she glanced over at the purple-haired woman. Something about her felt... off. It wasn’t anything tangible—just an odd sense of awareness, like there was something hiding beneath the surface. The woman’s gaze met Y/N’s briefly, and Y/N gave her a polite, neutral smile before turning back to the table. 

There was no reason to voice her unease, though. She was far too indifferent about the situation to dwell on it for long.

But Hide’s voice broke her from her thoughts. "Let me cut to the chase," he said, now addressing the woman directly. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Kaneki, clearly uncomfortable with Hide’s boldness, raised an eyebrow and gave a quick, almost panicked glance at Y/N. "What are you doing, Hide?" he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

The purple-haired woman, however, didn’t seem to mind the attention. She smiled coyly, unphased by the interruption. Y/N gave a quick glance toward Kaneki, who was looking a little bit overwhelmed.

Before Hide could say anything else, Y/N stood up, her movements graceful and effortless. "Let’s go," she said, already pushing her chair back from the table. "I’ll be fine walking on my own."

Hide smirked, tossing some money on the table for their coffees. "Don't worry about it," he said, winking at Kaneki. "We’ll leave you to figure things out with our little bookstore expert."

Y/N offered Kaneki a soft smile as she stepped away from the table, Hide following her, clearly enjoying the way he’d managed to ruffle Kaneki’s feathers.

As they walked out of the café, Kaneki watched them go, his gaze lingering on Y/N as she casually strolled toward the exit. He wanted to be the one to walk her home, to be the one who kept her safe—but he said nothing. Instead, he turned back to his book, though his mind couldn’t stop drifting toward the purple-haired woman who now sat, alone, reading quietly. He couldn't help but notice the way she kept stealing glances at him from the corner of her eye.

And though Y/N’s demeanor made it seem like she wasn’t paying attention, the odd feeling that something wasn’t quite right with the woman in the corner gnawed at her, lingering in the back of her mind.

・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・・。・。・

Hide and (Y/N) walked side by side, the cool night air wrapping around them as they took a longer, more scenic route to her apartment. The city lights flickered like distant stars, casting a soft glow on the quiet streets. The walk was comfortable, but the silence between them eventually gave way to a question from (Y/N).

"You think Kaneki will ask her out?" she asked, her voice casual, though there was a hint of curiosity beneath her tone.

Hide glanced at her briefly, his expression thoughtful. "He can do it," he said with a confident smile. His words were steady, but there was something behind his eyes—maybe a flicker of jealousy or maybe something else—that he quickly masked with a reassuring grin.

(Y/N) moved a little closer, not because she was frightened or seeking comfort, but because the rare vulnerability she felt was drawing her in. Her usually unshakable nonchalance seemed to falter, though she didn’t show it outright. It was a subtle change, but Hide noticed.

"Something on your mind?" Hide asked, his voice softer than usual. "You look like you're thinking about something."

For a brief moment, (Y/N) remained quiet, her gaze fixed ahead. She then shrugged slightly, her tone almost dismissive but with an underlying edge. "I don't know. Just wondering, that's all."

Hide, ever the tease, couldn't resist. "Ah, I see. You’re jealous that Kaneki might ask someone else out, huh?" he said with a playful smirk, nudging her slightly.

(Y/N) chuckled, though the laugh didn’t quite reach her eyes. "Jealous?" she replied with a shrug, her voice even. "I’m not that invested." But there was a flicker in her gaze that suggested something different. 

The two continued walking in companionable silence, the streets around them strangely empty except for the occasional hurried footsteps of passing strangers. The soft hum of the city felt distant, almost surreal, as if the world was momentarily pausing. 

Out of nowhere, a stray cat darted across their path, startling (Y/N). In a rare moment of instinct, she instinctively grabbed Hide's hand, her grip firm but not frantic. 

"Ah," she said, her voice laced with amusement rather than fear, her eyes wide for only a brief moment before she relaxed. "It’s just a cat."

Hide, caught off guard by her sudden grasp, flushed a little. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or ask if she was okay. "It’s just a cat," he repeated, trying to make light of the situation, though his voice was still tinged with concern. "You alright?"

(Y/N) pulled her hand back almost immediately, her usual cool composure returning. "I’m fine," she replied, her voice a little softer now, as if the moment of vulnerability had passed. "Just tired."

Hide frowned slightly, not entirely convinced. He glanced at her, watching her carefully as they walked. He could tell there was something off, but he didn’t push. He respected her too much to pry too deeply, though his worry lingered in the back of his mind.

They arrived at her apartment building, and Hide slowed his pace, reluctant to part ways. The door to her apartment was just ahead, but something about her quiet demeanor left him uneasy.

"Hey," he said, turning to face her before she could go inside. "What’s really going on? You can tell me anything, (Y/N)."

(Y/N) met his gaze, her expression unreadable for a moment. A faint, almost imperceptible smile tugged at her lips. "It’s nothing, Hide," she said, the words carrying a mix of gratitude and something else—something unsaid. "Really, it’s fine."

Despite her reassurance, Hide lingered for a moment longer, his eyes searching her face as if looking for an answer he couldn’t quite find. He finally nodded, though his worry remained.

"Alright," he said softly, though there was still a weight in his voice. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

She nodded in return, giving him a brief, almost indifferent smile before slipping into the building. Hide watched her for a moment longer, then turned and walked away, the nagging feeling in his chest not dissipating as he made his way home. 

As he walked, the streets seemed quieter than usual, and the feeling of unease followed him like a shadow. Unknown to him, from the shadows above, a set of cold eyes watched their parting, intent and patient.

・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・・。・。・

Later, by the CCG emergency vehicles, Hide's phone buzzed, and his stomach tightened as he saw the caller ID. It was Kaneki. He hesitated for a moment, feeling a mix of anticipation and something darker, something he wasn’t ready to confront. With a long exhale, he answered the call.

"You're a lucky guy, you know that?" Hide said, his tone attempting to sound light, but the words came out a bit sharper than he intended. His mind flashed with images of Kaneki and (Y/N) together, the way they looked at each other, how Kaneki always seemed so... comfortable around her.

Kaneki’s voice came through, warm and light. "Yeah, who would've thought she likes the same author as me? Sen Takatsuki."

Hide’s breath caught for a split second, but he covered it quickly with a forced chuckle. "Really? That's... cute." He paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he replayed the conversation in his head. Sen Takatsuki—he knew that was one of (Y/N)’s favorite authors. Of course, it made sense that they’d have that in common. Of course they did. 

But Kaneki’s next words caught him off guard, and for a brief moment, a sense of relief washed over him.

"Actually," Kaneki continued, "I'm going to meet with Rize later, not (Y/N)."

Hide’s heart skipped a beat, though he quickly masked the relief with a smirk. "Oh, really?" He let out a sarcastic laugh. "That sounds... about as exciting as watching paint dry. But, you know, you kids have fun." He tried to keep the casual tone, but there was an unmistakable edge to his voice now. He was masking more than just amusement—he was hiding the strange mix of jealousy and frustration he felt at the thought of Kaneki spending any more time with her.

Deep down, Hide knew that (Y/N) and Kaneki shared something. It wasn’t just the books or their quiet, fleeting moments together—it was more than that. Kaneki had always been the one to understand her in a way Hide couldn't. That subtle connection between them, the unspoken bond, made Hide feel like an outsider. He hated it. 

He hated how easily Kaneki could make her laugh, how she seemed to trust him so completely. And though he tried to bury those feelings, they kept clawing at him, making his chest feel tight every time he thought of them.

Hide let out a soft sigh, pushing the jealousy down as best he could. "Anyway, tell Rize I said hi," he added quickly, his voice forced, the casualness almost comical.

Kaneki didn’t catch the undertone, his focus clearly elsewhere. "Will do. See you, Hide."

"Yeah, see ya," Hide said, his voice empty as he hung up. He stood there for a moment, staring at the glowing screen of his phone, the quiet hum of the emergency vehicles blending with his thoughts. 

Forcing himself to shake it off, he walked away, his heart a tangled mess of frustration and something deeper he wasn’t ready to admit, even to himself.

・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・。・・。・。・

The night stretched endlessly over the city, its dark fingers creeping through the narrow streets. The quiet hum of the city outside her apartment was at odds with the restlessness gnawing at (Y/N). She tossed and turned in bed, her sheets tangled around her body, her mind a whirl of unease that kept her from finding solace in sleep. There was a strange feeling in the air, an unsettling awareness that she couldn’t shake. It felt as though she wasn’t alone, even though her apartment was empty. The silence that should have brought comfort felt suffocating instead. Every creak of the old building’s wooden frame made her pulse race.

With a sigh of frustration, she threw off the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her exhaustion was thick, but it wasn’t the kind that would let her rest. She needed something to clear her mind. A change of scenery, maybe. Something simple. She stood up and pulled on her jacket, the cool air of the apartment hitting her as she made her way out the door.

The city’s streets were quiet this late, with only the occasional passerby lost in their own world. (Y/N) walked with no particular destination, her footsteps echoing against the pavement, the rhythmic sound almost comforting. She needed a pick-me-up, something to snap her out of her restless mind. After walking for a while, she found a vending machine tucked away in an alley, its neon lights flickering in the stillness of the night. 

She slid her hands into her pockets, pulling out the last of the change she had. Her fingers fumbled with the coins for a moment, and she shoved them into the machine. She pressed the button for a coffee—something strong to help her focus. The machine hummed in response, but then, with a sudden mechanical clunk, it took her money without giving her the drink she’d selected. She groaned, her exhaustion mixing with irritation.

"Great," she muttered under her breath, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her palm. That was the last of the money she had brought with her, and the night seemed to be getting even more frustrating. Her fingers pressed the button again in vain, but the machine remained obstinate. No coffee for her tonight. 

She stepped back, her shoulders slumping in disappointment, when a hand from the corner of her vision caught her attention. The figure, a man, stood just behind her. His presence startled her for a split second, and she instinctively shifted out of his way. She wasn’t in the mood for interaction, but the man didn’t seem threatening. In fact, his demeanor was strangely calm, like he belonged in this moment, in this silence. 

Before she could say anything, the man stepped forward, sliding more coins into the machine. His hand moved with a practiced fluidity, as though he had done this a hundred times before. A few more clinks, and the machine hummed again, this time yielding her coffee.

She blinked, surprised at the turn of events. The man didn’t wait for her to say anything. He took the can of coffee the machine had spat out and handed it to her, his fingers brushing hers lightly as he passed it over. "Here," he said, his voice deep but not unkind. "You looked like you could use it."

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. She reached for the can, still processing what had just happened. "Thanks," she replied, her voice low but appreciative.

The man didn’t speak for a moment, simply stepping back to place his own money into the machine. As he did so, his gaze never left her. (Y/N) found herself oddly transfixed by him, his dark hair slightly messy, his presence almost magnetic despite the stillness between them. He wasn’t tall, but he carried himself with a sort of quiet confidence, his movements deliberate, his eyes sharp.

The machine accepted the coins, giving the man his own can of coffee, which he opened before holding it casually in his hand. Without a word, he turned slightly toward her, his eyes locking with hers. "Get home safe, (Y/N)," he said, the words almost a command, but somehow gentle.

The use of her name sent a sharp jolt through her. She froze, the warmth of the coffee can in her hand suddenly feeling insignificant. She hadn’t told him her name. Not once. Not even a casual introduction had been made. Yet, this stranger knew it without hesitation. She opened her mouth, about to ask how he knew her name, but before she could utter a single word, the man had already turned and walked away. His steps were quiet, purposeful, as he disappeared down the alley, blending with the shadows of the night.

(Y/N) stood there for a moment, staring at the empty space where he had been, her mind racing. *How did he know my name?* The thought hung in the air like a cold draft, gnawing at the edges of her thoughts. She didn’t recognize him. His face was unfamiliar, and there was something about his presence—something unsettling, yet oddly calm—that made her uneasy in ways she couldn’t fully articulate.

The man had left as abruptly as he had appeared, and (Y/N) felt a strange mix of confusion and lingering tension settle into her chest. She glanced down at the coffee can, its label simple and unremarkable. It was just a can of coffee, something she’d wanted for the past half hour, but now it felt like an enigma, a small detail in a larger mystery that she couldn’t shake.

Her heart beat a little faster as she turned and made her way back down the alley, the quiet of the night wrapping around her like a heavy cloak. She was still trying to make sense of the encounter, of the man, and how he had known her name. She didn’t know why it felt so wrong, but there was something about him—something that seemed off, yet familiar at the same time. 

As she stepped back into the comfort of her apartment, she locked the door behind her, still gripping the coffee can tightly in her hand. The thoughts swirled in her mind, the questions unanswered. Who was he? How had he known her name? And why did it feel like she had just brushed against something dangerous, something that she wasn’t meant to understand?

(Y/N) sat down on the couch, her coffee forgotten for the moment as she tried to shake the feeling of unease. There were more pressing questions now, ones that didn’t have answers. And as the night stretched on, she couldn’t help but feel like she was standing at the edge of something much larger than herself—something she couldn’t yet see, but would inevitably have to confront.

[okcomputeroknotok19972017]

sitting down on a rock with my hand under my chin like the thinker statue. this isn't about anyone in particular or anything specific but i find it interesting how many people on tumblr treat 'neurodiversity' ... i personally find the words 'neurospicy' and 'tism' kind of juvenile and they make me roll my eyes but when i see people get angry over these words or insult the people who use them i wonder why they feel that way. why is it okay to attack people over these words that you think are embarrassing or 'cringeworthy' when ... well, autism and many other developmental disorders, cognitive or intellectual disabilities, and mental illnesses may make some people behave in a way that you think is 'embarrassing' and 'cringeworthy.' with autism specifically, social awkwardness, restricted interests, and difficulty understanding or following social norms are extremely common and well known symptoms that often cause embarrassment, confusion, or mockery. i think it's very interesting to see people who claim to be accepting of autism then publicly and very personally criticize others on the spectrum for a 'cringeworthy' behavior, in this case using words that are too 'cutesy' or 'juvenile.'

there are a lot more examples of this kind of behavior on tumblr. even among my own circle of mutuals and mutuals-in-law, composed of many people with autism and other developmental disorders, disabilities, and mental illnesses, i often feel like i am walking the same invisible tightrope as i do in social interactions in the physical world. i rarely come across people who are really earnest, even if they post image macros about being nice and sweet and as tall as one strawberry or something. every day i see people on here being mocked for misunderstanding something, for not getting a joke, for saying something unintentionally rude or irrelevant ... the other half of the equation might be that the people doing the mocking, who are sometimes (most of the time in my circle) autistic or neurodiverse in other ways as well, deserve leeway because they themselves might not realize they're violating an invisible social rule or are acting inappropriately when in their minds it's just good fun. i think that's certainly very true ... i also think some people are just mean and hypocritical. again this is NOT about anyone specific it's just patterns i've personally noticed.

anyways. 'i'm neurodivergent and a minor' is still funny to say out of the blue sometimes but my heart sinks when people try to conjure up an image of a disabled person as the butt of the joke every time. i'm not like Those autistic people who call themselves 'neurospicy' and whose special interests are 'cringe' things like broadway musicals or shows i don't like and who won't shut up about being gay or trans and who are really just pretending to be like me ... :( i see this sentiment around sometimes and it hurts my heart. i don't have a conclusion other than i think everyone myself included should be kinder and less preoccupied with shielding ourselves in 1000 layers of irony and sarcasm, reinventing 'neurotypical' social norms and sanctions in the process, and more thought should be put into if what you are saying is in line with what you value about equality and acceptance

[innerchorus]

Arslan Senki Chapter 126 (Part 1)

SPOILERS for this chapter, obviously. The cliffhanger ending on this one is quite something and obviously a big departure from the novels.

We're straight into the Andragoras vs. Hilmes duel at the start of the chapter, and at this point I was sure that this would be the most stressful part? And it was pretty stressful, especially seeing Hilmes appear on the defensive and then watching as Andragoras kneed him in the chest/stomach... but then Hilmes managing to kick Andragoras's elbow from his position on the floor lifted my spirits somewhat!

Good move, Denka!

They're... really trying to kill each other here though, and that fills me with fear.

However, as they part with a hand to their respective injuries (nothing major for either, but Andragoras's arm must be throbbing/numb and Hilmes is winded and bruised) who should appear but the (Un)Holy Master?

He's becoming a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, especially in this scene, I think this time I'm not ashamed to admit that I quite enjoyed him. And at least his appearance had the added bonus of interrupting the duel.

The way he is just like... lounging nonchalantly against the throne.

The 'vwap' sound effect makes it seem very much like he just materialised there. We also get to see him teleport to (partially) evade Andragoras's attack later in this chapter.

Anyway, even Andragoras is shocked, because he recognises him, and yet... this sorcerer should much older than he appears!

Why do I like this panel.

The clawed hand sliding on the arm of the throne 👌

Interesting that he describes himself this way (same as in the novels if I remember correctly). I do think he originally started off as a regular human, but the effects of using this kind of sorcery warp the body over time into something unnatural in more ways than just an extended lifespan. I see some of the changes as deliberate and some as just a consequence of their magic use, though that's only a headcanon.

SNAKE PUPILS 🐍

Anyway after the stress of watching Hilmes and Andragoras try to take each other out it's quite fun to see the Master enjoying himself in the knowledge that the other people in the room know far less then him.

Oh, Hilmes... They were never on your side...

'Sides don't matter', hmm? Is that because we've entered the endgame? Because Zahhak is already free from Mount Demavant? Because this close to triumph, Team Zahhak don't need to pretend to be supporting anyone or anything in particular? Because they were always, always working towards their own aims? Either way, it definitely highlights exactly how poor Hilmes's grasp of the truth is here.

And at this point we divert back to Arslan!

He tells his followers the truth her learned about his origins, and states his aim to head to Mount Demavant and retrieve Rukhnabad. Last chapter, I thought Arakawa might be avoiding this and was planning to have him acquire Rukhnabad incidentally, by bumping into Don Ricardo which is funny because... it kind of does happen like that rather than outright aiming for it, and so when I realised where this chapter was going I was hesitant, but actually I liked it more than I expected to.

The dialogue in this scene is all so good! And it makes this decision more understandable. I would share it but I'd just be posting whole pages at this point, but one thing I will mention is that I was glad to see some discussion of what happened when Hilmes went after the sword and mentions of how Zandeh's actions stopped the earthquake. It feels like Arslan is making a more informed choice with an awareness of the consequences, and an acceptance of the concept that he might be found unworthy, which Hilmes totally lacked.

(For reference, in the novels this declaration of Arslan's intent to retrive Rukhnabad is a brief scene with like three lines of dialogue. Arslan basically says he'll go to Mount Demavant to retrieve the sword, prove he is qualified to rule, and then become Shah, and Gieve immediately agrees to be his guide. Arakawa did a much better job. I know Tanaka is the original creator but honestly... elements of that part felt out of character to me, and I think Arakawa manages to acknowledge precisely what was bothering me, so I'm now more on board with Arslan's decision.)

Now back to the throne room, where I will try to prevent myself from sharing yet more screencaps of the bastard himself.

No more snake pics in this post challenge: failed. Will you believe me if I say I wanted to post this image because of Hilmes?

Anyway, the big secret is out and Andragoras is NOT happy. The first half of the chapter ends with him taking a huge swipe at the Master with his sword that not only appears to cut him in half but also slashes straight through the ACTUAL THRONE behind him.

Andragoras, exactly how strong are you? What is your blade made of that it can cut right through the throne like that?

And at this point I'm realising how long this post is, so like the Kmanga chapter releases I'm going to split it into two parts. Stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon, in the meantime I'll leave you with Hilmes's utter shock at what is actually quite an epic moment from Andragoras (and just about the only one where we can cheer for him unreservedly).

[many-gay-magpies]

HI MAGPIE for the director’s cut asks tbh i would love to hear you talk about any of your fics that you most want to talk about. but i also need you to know that i’ve reread “Honey, it’s Easier” like three times at this point just because something about that one is getting me and hitting different. they just love each other so much you know????? their tenderness and care for each other and also how viscerally into one another they are in that one captivates me. anyway DIRECTOR’S CUT QUESTION: how do you choose whose pov to write from in a fic (generally) and do you have a preferred one to write? <3

HELLOOOO thank you sm for asking!! I will absolutely talk about Honey, it's Easier because that was SUCH a fun one (knowing you've reread it so much makes me SO happy skdfhkjsdhf, I'm super happy with the reception it's gotten!).

that one started, like a lot of my fics have recently, as a conversation in the payneland party discord server, though I don't remember the exact details of HOW it started-- I think we were just generally talking about, like, the idea of Charles trying to hold back and be respectful/let Edwin adjust meanwhile Edwin is just like. antsy as all hell waiting for CHARLES to be ready because he's been ready to go basically since the beginning. idk, id have to scroll back through the nsfw channel to find the convo, and it was SO long ago and pretty basic as far as details go so it would take forever to find XD. but I remember it was one of those convos where we kept just "yes, and" ing each other and after writing a whole long message that was basically a ficlet in its own right I was just like. im gonna write this actually. and then it ended up being over 8k words long.

the rest of my answers shall be under the cut because this got long af (predictably), and also because the rest of the stuff I have to say about Honey, it's Easier is just. all about sex lmao. anyone reading these answers who is not interested in the horny particulars of several fic sequels and prequels can just skip over the list and go straight to the director's cut question answer <3

dude I have SO MANY IDEAS for more fics in the Honey, it's Easier universe (which I have simply dubbed the Honeyverse in my DBDA fic folder) it's not even funny. I have ideas for a prequel, ideas for several sequel one shots that could condense into a single fic, either one BIG one shot or smth multi chapter... in which case it would be very funny to have the only two multi chapter fics ive ever posted both be payneland smut lmao. anyways the ideas for you:

little prequel fic, describing one of those times Edwin and Charles snogged and then Edwin left in detail. I actually have over 1000 words of this one written, but the spark to write the smutty bit has not arrived yet so it's just sitting there until it bestows itself upon me

sequel, catering to Edwin's desire to see Charles get himself off

sequel, where Charles is like "hey I didn't get to properly blow you last time can I do it again"

sequel where they just kind of luxuriate in not having to STOP anymore. featuring bitey Charles

idk if all of these ideas will get written, or if ANY of them will, as the smut writing spark appears to have dissipated somewhat. but just know I am Thinking About Them

for the director's cut question: generally when it comes to the POV of a fic, I have an idea about whose POV it'll be in right from the start? or, like, the idea itself is kind of intrinsically tied to the POV. with take me under (take me home), I knew off the bat I wanted it to be Edwin POV because the whole premise was Edwin witnessing Charles have a panic attack and calm him down from it. with Honey, it's Easier a lot of the yes, and-ing we'd been doing in the server had been about Edwin's feelings and. ahem. desire, and him showing Charles he was VERY MUCH READY and had been for a while, so it was just natural to write it from his POV. then with to watch you as you wake, the whole thing was meant to be an exploration of Charles's trauma and bone-deep devotion to Edwin.

I have noticed that in instances (at least with DBDA fic) where the idea for the fic isn't so interwoven with whose POV it'll be told in, I kind of lean towards writing Edwin POV (with Payneland works anyway)? I'm still not entirely sure why that is, but 6.5 out of my 10 posted dbda fics are Edwin POV, and even more of my current WIPs are in his POV (for instance, every one of those Honey, it's Easier companion fics so far I'm imagining writing from his POV). maybe it's because I enjoy getting in his head and writing in his super eloquent, long-winded prose? maybe it's because I'm half in love with Charles and really like writing Charles through his eyes? maybe it's because Charles's emotions hurt me to write firsthand? idk but Edwin is my little bestie and I like to write his thoughts very much. OOH OR maybe it's also because it's fun to write how fucking unhinged and horny he is internally knowing Charles is seeing him all prim and proper LMAO (in the case of smut)

anyway THANK YOU so very much for asking and enabling me to go off the shits rambling about one of my little stories!! I enjoyed it greatly and I hope you enjoyed reading all of it <3

end of year director's cut ask game

[pinkyjulien]

🌈 Queerness in CyberPunk 2077

I wanted to make this post earlier this month but got caught up in modding shenanigans, as per usual~

BUT! It's still June, still pride, so here it is :>

▶ DISCLAIMER

All of this is my analyses, headcanons, of different characters, some of them not confirmed at all in anyway or form! I'm a queer man myself, but I do not claim to know everything about queerness and being queer, everyone experience the game and interpret the characters differently 🤲 This is only my opinions, based off canon game events, clues, hints, as well as developpers's tweets, streams, files datamining etc etc Please do not see this thread as an attack, or as something invalidating! I'm more than curious to heard what you think about my personal analyses, if you agree, if you don't, and why! If you think other characters also display hints of queerness I'd love to hear it too! 💙

This picture is an update I did in 2022 of lil collage I did back in 2021~

I posted the first version on Reddit back in 2021 and it created this whole "what do mean JOHNNY is GAY?" (because a rainbow behind a man automatically means he's Gay and nothing else right) and a lot of biphobia over his character in particular (gasp- THE rockerboy?! Biseggsual?? In my viddy game??)

▶ You can look at the thread here and have a lil laugh

SO, NATURALLY, after doing the 2022 collage, I went and uploaded it to reddit once again! Because triggering bigots and seeing them stumble over their own tongues trying to debunk everything is really funny ✨

However, I instantly muted the thread and let it rot in its own sauce for some days, weeks, only coming back to it later and Oh Boy 👀

I did a thread on Twitter last year exploring everything that was said on the thread and explaining why I put certain characters on it

Thought it'd be cool and fun to re-explore that and share my thoughts with y'all here SO LETS GET BACK TO IT 😌🤙

▶▶▶

I'll mainly paste screenshots of what I already said on my twitter thread, but I might add some things there and there!

Damn I was kinda pissed off back then HGHFHGF but yeah, this is also the reason I won't ever make any straight or super straight flags I do not headcanon Delamain as Asexual, as there isn't any confirmation anywhere that he's interest in that kind of interaction or not, but I'll come back to him later!

Goro being canonly Queer is often missed, and this surprises me, considering he's one of the popular character! He is interested (or not) equally in both Fem and Masc V, giving he's replying to them the exact same ways! This isn't something done randomly by the devs :)

As said in the tweet, there isn't any direct and clear evidence of Mitch and Scorpion being a couple! Their relationship is heavily queer coded and queer people are more easily picking up on it than non-queer peoeple (and that's normal) Gay men have called their male partner Friend, Best friend and Brother through history maaaany many time, and that's part of my interpretation of their relationship too, especially giving they're both veterans who fought in the same war. The poem Mitch wrotes during "I'll Fly Away" (heavily implied) is romantic and gay coded, the gay novel in Mitch's tent (confirmed to be on purpose) is what we call environnemental story telling, it's subtle but adds to a character's backstory and lore! As for the datamining, I found a Mitch awkwardly explaining to V that no, Saul doesn't have any say in whatever he's doing with Scorpion stuff "because.... because... eh, that's just family stuff"

Note on Delamain here because I've heard it even caused some drama here on Tumblr that I said that? He uses He/Him to describe himself, the Main Entity, but multiples of his splites entities uses She/Her, meaning he's literally Non-Binary in how his entity is formed (I find it really cool for an AI ngl ngl) However if my headcanon offended anyone, I apologize! and I'd love to hear others interpretation :3

There isn't any open and visible MLM gay couple in Cyberpunk 2077! Bouncing off ElvenBeard's amazing analyses and thoughts on Kerry's sexuality, he can be seen as Bisexual (confirmed by RTAL themselves) and Homosexual (confirmed by the devs before and after the game released) he can be Both and Both are correct depending on how you view his character and how he grew from his past relationship (Bisexual with a masc preference, Bisexual who have to heal from his marriage, Gay man who realized his sexuality later after a wonky marriage, etc)

The whole "Responsability=Wife" Takemura take angers me to no end, taking its roots in heteronormativity- We see Goro care for his job above all else, to me that's what his "responsability" is and always was; his job

Nothing more to add here- Jackie's only relationship we see in game is with Misty, this doesn't confirm nor deny anything! (However with how he react to V pushing him, lip-bitting and all regardless of gender, I can totally see him as being queer)

AND That's about it!

It was interesting to dig into that thread last year and thought I'd share that here, as a refresher that Johnny is Bi, Takemura too, and smaller characters like Mitch and Evelynn still have clear hints of queerness to them ✨

I really like how CP77 touches on queerness, it feels realistic, it doesn't feel forced; which, sadly, create this problem of "UH?? This is pure LIES" if a character's sexuality is not splattered in your face, which then create the "Ugh why does it have to be forced down our throat" complains

Something something, lesson here is that people will always complain about queerness, be it loud, be it subtle, so fuck it! Scream it, go apeshit over small details, over-analyse everything cause chances are: this is intentional!

More Characters

I later noticed that Regina have a naked lady tattooed on her forearm, and since we know nothing is done randomly in CDPR's video games, makes me think that she might be sapphic in some way ✨

Mateo is also one of my fav "potential queer", how he could be a trans man, but there isn't anything really to support that other than that one interaction with V

▶ Link to the updated collage Reddit Thread

▶ Link to my Twitter breakdown

[xenosaurus]

NO OKAY BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS CHANCE BECAUSE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ALWAYS (and this ask will immediately identify me to anyone who knows me bc im literally the only person in the world who cares) but please never read N.K. Jemisin's "The City We Became." She's won three hugos in a row and thats very impressive, nothing but love and respect to my sister who has Made It and Paved the Way for more of us to go forward. I haven't actually read her hugo winners and i'd like to, but unfortunately i started with The City We Became and now i hold a Grudge.

Why:

on the surface this book is a Cool Woke Twist on lovecraftian horror set in new york city. the basic premise is fun: the avatars of the boroughs of new york forming together to help their city become a fully fledged cosmic entity of a sort. the villain here is the literal spirit of gentrification, and while theres a lot of good things that could come from that set up, the actual execution makes it an absolute agony to get through. everything is so hamfisted and somehow smug about recognizing the most basic ideas. its too smug and condescending to appeal to anyone in the center, its ideas too juvenile to appeal to anyone in the left, and its weird flat characterization of the villains as The Most Cartoonishly Evil Cops/N*zis You Can Think Of kind of makes the conflict feel... empty. It's hard to explain without experiencing it, but i cannot recommend anyone actually read it. or maybe u should just so i can finally talk to other people about this, maybe im insane for feeling this way.

some favorite moments of mine, in no particular order:

-the multiple instances of a side character being introduced, having their race and tragic backstory exposited in one sentence, and then they vanish, never to appear in the narrative again

-white supremacists attack the indie art museum on twitter. thankfully they start a counter hashtag and the entire situation wraps up in under 24 hours. they go from "we have to fire all of you bc of pressure from these assholes" to "actually its fine" bc of twitter. i dont even think its supposed to be part of the magic of the city or whatever. its an incredible sequence.

-"he shot out of the pool like a child fired from a hot buttered child cannon"

-theres a bit where the author sets up a neat fight between a character who does a cool transformation and a REALLY neat monster. u will not see that fight play out. that scene isnt in the book. just the leadup and the aftermath. why even bother.

-one of the main characters has a tumblr but its obvious the author hasnt like... used tumblr. this isnt a major sin but it is funny

-really have to state again that theres a line in this book that reads "hot buttered child cannon." this also isnt a sin, this is maybe poetry.

-its labeled as adult fiction, it feels like its trying to go for grit and gore and sex in places, but its also weirdly shy about engaging directly with a lot of that stuff. this one might (MIGHT) actually be a style thing, admittedly most of my nitpicks surround one specific character who has a reason to be Like That, but i also have issues with her as a whole that i do not have space 2 get into here. regardless, a lot of this book feels like ya somehow, but the concepts its playing with and some of the scenes DO also make it feel too adult to really suit that either. its... weird.

its kind of a mess in a lot of places, and honest to god it sort of drags in the middle. if you DO pick it up, i recommend the audiobook. the narrator does a fantastic job, and they do some fun sound design in a few places. unfortunately the story itself is kind of hollow. it has a lot of diversity, but the way so many of those diverse characters are tossed out for brownie points and discarded, the way so many characters go into these preachy little rants about VERY basic ideas like "white supremacy bad" its just...

im sure that the author meant well. this book wouldve raised the bar for its representation in like... 2014. maybe thats when she started writing it, idk. unfortunately it came out in 2020 and i think it just feels Dated in a very strange way.

u dont have 2 publish any of this also ofc, im just always here to Unrecommend this book. unfortunately theres a sequel and some part of me is holding out hope that the author fixed some of the things i took issue with in the intervening years, so im bound to this series via curse. even if i hate this one, i know theres gonna be at least one more, and maybe *that* one will fix it-

do not be like me.

This ask was a ride from start to finish. I feel like I was shot out of a hot buttered child cannon.

[nihilaraarchived]

okay kuro hsr timeline ,, , finally finished

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: hamasaki kuro , just kuro please. 𝐀𝐆𝐄: well over 1000 , his exact age isn't known. he's legit forgotten it. 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒: favored of the plagues author , cat guy ( express crew ) , killjoy , emanator of yaoshi , more to come i'm sure... 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇: abundance ( previous, or so he says ), the hunt ( galaxy ranger ) 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄: quantum. ( i like the idea that his kit is all about multiple attacks on a single target within a short span of time? i.e you want his speed, and crit to be a huge priority. break fits into it too ofc, but that's a given i think. his ulti is likely a multi hit similar to ach/eron, but like visually? mimi is the one doing the attack in the animation. HAHA! cat has a big GUN! ).

✧ born in ???? to two lovely people, with two brothers, and a sister. his world for the most part worshipped yao/shi, and the abundance. and kuro would grow up to do much the same. the world was diverse as far as climate, with a consistent four season year. and was actually known for the shimmering aroura rains that took place during spring, and the ethereal blooms in the particular region where kuro was born.

✧ a stell/aron crisis would begin to kill the planet when kuro was a young adult. and the speed at which this happened was quite startling. wildlife changed with the sudden shift in climate; putting people in danger. the weather grew harsh, intense. climate change essentially causing the world to kill itself.

✧ kuro becomes an emanator of yao/shi at the last possible moment. which did end up saving his planet. idk if people realize honestly just how powerful emanators are. tho the recent content with ach/eron definitely gave us more insight. kuro was powerful enough to essentially revive his planet. people had died, there wasn't anything to be done to bring them back. but the planet itself is now a bountiful and horrifying tribute to the power of yao/shi & the concept of deathlessness.

✧ important to note: despite not being an emanator anymore, kuro is still very much so immortal. this is something he struggles with immensely. feeding into his guilt, and self loathing. he has yet to suffer the effects of mara, unsure why, he's too afraid to ask or try to figure out why. expecting it'll come eventually ...

✧ he leaves home after this to follow his path, to carry out his aeon's will. this is kuro's deranged devotion to god arc. he was quite frankly, scary. he has a run in at some point with the xian/zhou as well,,, which does now play out well for them. wasn't his intention to run into them either. legit just trying to spread the abundance, and the xian/zhou got in the way.

✧ it's after this entire ordeal that kuro really grasps how... deeply twisted and cruel his aeon's agenda is. he begins to question his path, his choices. and as far as anyone else known- this is where kuro, the emanator of yao/shi... vanishes.

✧ kuro meets mimi a few years before he joins the express crew. which happens between the nameless' birth-- and the trip to jarlio VI. he also meets ar/genti at some point between meeting mimi and joining the express.

✧ he doesn't really help with jarlio VI stuff, but him and mimi do explore the planet some while they're there. seemingly unbothered by how frigid it is.

✧ travels with the crew wherever they wish to go. eventually leading him to the luo/fu... much to his apparent discomfort. kuro insists he should remain with pompom to keep them company. meaning he's not there for the majority of the luo/fu arc. though upon being discovered, he is brought in for questioning, and is nearly put in the shackling prison. if not for mimi using her genius, and maybe some force ( a lot of force )- to help him escape in a very death defying fashion.

✧ does some wandering. cuts all communication with the main crew.

✧ meets boot/hill during this time. silly guy, kuro thinks he's funny.

✧ finds some kind of direction for the sake of his closest companion mimi. a member of a nearly extinct feline alien species, who wishes for the upheaval of the IPC for the destruction of her homeworld. kuro becomes a galaxy ranger, and finds a new path! the hunt. an irony, he knows, but it's cathartic for him in a way.

✧ pops up on pena/cony, but not until much later in the story. him and mimi go there to retrieve some materials, and information on the IPC. but get caught up a bit in the drama that was 2.2. offering to help, and sort of reconnecting with the express crew after his absence for so long. this is of course, considering that you as the player take time to do all side quests before this,,, bonus content ect ect.

✧ kuro from this point on kind of follows mimi's direction? she wants to rebuild her home, or at least find a way to create a new one. while also doing everything in her power to make things as difficult for the IPC as possible. again, kuro is the ranger but mimi is the mastermind. she's a cat, basically, there is only so much she can do. i like to think of rocket raccoon as a bit of an inspiration here. they're not evil, but kuro's bias for his best friend... means he's as chaotic and violent as she needs him to be, to get what she wants. their shared goal is his main priority!

✧ more to come as the story plays out !!! feel free to ask other stuff though, i love talking about kuro and mimi i will literally never shut up.

[trashcatsnark]

🦾🥢🥃🚓For Aidan please (She's so cute <3)

AHHHH, thank you so much😍

Johnny

Silverv is my main ship, *gestures at my abhorrently long fic* but they are definitely an enemies to lovers tale with some extra steps between. At first Aidan is terrified of this dude- hes an asshole, he attacked her, he smells bad- all red flags. But after having a slight melt down, Aidan reluctantly is like "okay, we're both up shit creek without a paddle, let's try to semi-tolerate one another" but then hey, Johnny's kind of funny and they banter and okay, maybe he's an asshole and she definitely hates him but... He's easy on the eyes and theres a chemistry between them. They have hate sex, that's pretty fun. But Aidan starts to realize more and more that she doesnt just like fucking him but kind of likes being around him. And he's sort of her constant in life right now, and he might care for her, and he might want to save her life. And he brought her to the pistis sophia and gave her his dog tags- and fuck shes in love ain't she?

Johnny in a similar vein steadily grows in love with her, at first shes an annoying but kinda cute merc, fucking her is fun and no one deserves to die. Then oh, she's a really good person to those around her and shes the kind of person people rely on and its less about no one deserve to die like this and more she doesnt deserve to die like this.

Ultimately Johnny is someone who's made Aidan feel significantly less alone and feels like one of the few people shes met who she doesnt feel like she's hiding parts of herself away from. He feels like home. Like at the end of the day when you walk through your front door and feel like you can just breath, you don't have to put up any acts or a brave face- you can just be. Johnny feels like that.

Meanwhile I think Johnny kind of slowly sees Aidan as kind of who he wanted to be in some ways- he wanted to be this person people depend on, he wanted to be the guy who fixed everything. But he pushed everyone away and drove them off, convinced if he fixed the world it'd be okay. But Aidan is the person people call, she may not be out to fix the world, but she'll move mountains for anyone she thinks something of and for some reason hes now one of those people. He knows she sees herself as this rotted awful person he sees so much good in her, someone who deserves more than they got and maybe he couldn't save the world but maybe he can save her...

Jackie

The closest friend she ever had. After leaving her nomad family, Aidan had nothing and no one. She drifted for years and rarely kept in touch with anyone past a week or two. Then in a bid to escape her slightly murderous sister and ex, she came to NC and met Jackie and let herself feel like she could have some roots. He let her co-op on his dream and made her feel like in NC she could be something, could prove everyone wrong. Jackie to her was magnetic and mesmerizing, gave her a sense of connection and family she hadn't really had for a while if... ever given her particular clan. Before the relic- Jackie was the closest friend she ever had.

And Jackie I think saw not only a good soul who needed some help, but serious merc partner potential on her. My uh intro of her to NC is a mash of nomad and streetkid, so seeing her kind of hold her own against cops and not being afraid to out a gun in his face right back- mixed with the kind of light easy chemistry they had off the bat. Well, Jackie's never been afraid of taking a gamble. So, he bet on Aidan- got her out of a tight spot and asked her to work with him. And fuck was he ever thankful he bet on her.

Not only were they a great merc team- V became family. They looked out for each other. Worked their asses off and just about hit the major leagues together. He use to pick on her for being a bit too closed off and she poked fun at him for being too much. But they balanced each other in a nice way, she kept him grounded at times and he was a much needed bright spot in her life.

Rogue

Given that Aidan isnt an NC native, she doesnt have the same reverence for legends the way NC natives like Jackie do. That doesn't mean she doesnt have some serious respect for Rogue, she does. The woman is impressive, she's worked hard to get to where she is and she's to an extent kind of what Aidan eventually wants to be- someone people take seriously, someone who's proven themselves and doesnt take shit from anyone.

Then Aidan realizes theres a Johnny sized asterisks next to that. And while Aidan has no room to talk, it does kinda make her roll her eyes.

Plus- Aidan respecting and admiring someone doesn't equate to not... provoking them by being a little shit. Learned her real name through Johnny's memories- gotta sprinkle that into a text~

And maybe if Aidan is fully honest with herself, she's a little jealous that Rogue is Johnny's go to person. Not in a catty way, she gets it- Rogue is a force to be reckoned with and gets shit done. If you can pick anyone to be your go to person- pick Rogue. But Aidan cant deny it does make her feel a little itchy inside for some reason.

Rogue sees a lot if her younger self in Aidan, I think. Kind of having a mixture of a mentor and mom instinct with her- Aidan is incredibly adoptable you see. She kind of reminds Rogue of the old days, even before Rogue realized an old flame of hers was in Aidan's head. A sarcastic little shit of a merc who hates corps and isnt afraid to talk shit on her fixers- hmm, where has she seen that before. She's can be irritating, but Rogue's used to brats, having raised one of her own. So, it's more amusing than anything. (Except for the name thing, that is going to bite aidan in the ass and hard) Then when she realizes Johnny is in Aidan's head, those similarities between young her and Aidan feel so much stronger. Seeing a drunk Johnny taking advantage of Aidan's kindness during the bender, seeing Aidan tore up about it in the morning. Like watching a rerun she never wanted to see.

Just like with a child, you don't wanna watch them make the same mistakes you did.

River

So, at first Aidan and River don't quite see eye to eye. They had a brief encounter during her doing a scanner job where she reported a bunch of human trafficking victims brought into the city by Jotaro Shobo. Not long after that, Aidan killed Jotaro. This gets brought up when they run into each other again. River is obviously by the book, he doesn't like killing unless in self defense or protection and Aidan hunted Jotaro down like a dog and made it hurt. Aidan respects that he genuinely doesnt seek violence- but she was raised on it. At the end of the day, Jotaro is dead and more people are safe, so fuck your book

But reluctantly they work together on the mayor case and oh, they actually work pretty well together. She's get at getting answers and figuring things out, plus shes willing to tamper down on the violence for his sake. And he's actually kind of funny when he lets the stick slide ever so gently out of his ass. Then she nearly gets flatlined by a BD because shes an idiot and he saves her. And she offers support and comfort when his partner betrays him. Left with the sense that while they have different approaches they both at their core want the same thing- to help others.

Then the system starts failing River more and more with his nephew- and he has to work outside of it and the only person he knows will help him do that- is Aidan. She bails him out of jail, long story- she was laughing, he wasn't. Then he calls again and she helps him save his nephew and rethink his whole fucking life. And Aidan's really proud to see him growing beyond the ncpd and as a person.

[i-am-bella-donna]

Ephemeral

Acegust 2024 Week 4: Homesickness

AO3

Story Summary:

Some conversations could only be had under the cover of darkness, and this one was no exception. “Everything feels so…temporary. Like our life is going to fall apart at any second.”

Pairings: Platonic Vaggie x Angel Dust

Word Count: 1,436

CONTENT WARNINGS: ANXIETY ATTACKS

A/N: Story Theme Song: Home by X Ambassadors

I did it! After years of trying, I finally completed a writing challenge!

The origin of this story is actually a little funny, because I started writing it as a vent fic before I even knew the prompt. In short—this has been one of the weirdest weeks of my life. Homesickness is…not fun.

I hope you like it. Come and get the angst!

~~~

It was far past midnight, and the Hotel lobby was almost empty.

Almost.

The credits rolling on the television cast a sickly blue glow over the couch, and the generic outro music was haunting in the otherwise silent room. Charlie had long since gone to bed, with Husk following a couple of hours later, leaving Vaggie and Angel to yet another movie that neither truly cared about.

Of course, the movie was over. It was time for both of them to retreat to their respective rooms.

Neither moved from the couch.

The music trailed off. The screen faded to black.

Finally, Angel pushed himself up straight and stretched all four arms behind him, his joints popping loudly. “So,” he said conversationally, his voice quiet but still deafening against the heavy silence. “Any particular reason you’re avoiding your bedroom?”

Vaggie stiffened, and that reaction alone dashed any hope of denying his question.

Angel raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Her voice was hollow to her own ears as she asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Babe, has anyone ever told you that you’re really bad at dodging questions?”

“Kind of.” Charlie always said she was a bad liar.

Angel just laughed. He propped his elbows on his knees and ignored the flat glare aimed toward him. “I mean, we both know why I’m avoiding sleep—”

“And I think we should talk about that instead—”

“—but why are you out here? Don’t you like cuddling your girlfriend?”

Vaggie flushed, but not at the question. She looked down at her socked feet, drumming her fingers against the couch. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Her reply was clearly a deflection—and a poor one, at that—but for better or worse, Angel played along.

“Oh, really?” he teased, tilting his head. His grin was shit-eating. “Staying up until the asscrack of dawn is just an angel thing, then?”

“Yes.”

He snorted. “Sure, and I modeled for the Mona Lisa.”

Vaggie glanced up and stared absently at the dark screen, her eyes unfocused.

“Actually, there was this one film that Val had me do—”

“Please shut up.”

Angel grinned more widely. “Okay,” he began. “I’ll spare you the details of work tonight.”

“Thank you.”

“But! In return, I want you to tell me why you don’t wanna head upstairs.”

Vaggie blinked as the question registered. Slowly, she twisted her head toward him, meeting his expectant stare with a blank one of her own.

It was late.

She was tired, the long nights beginning to take their toll.

“Does it matter?” Vaggie heard herself say.

The silence was practically screaming.

Angel pulled back slightly, his smile dimming. “You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “But…look, take it from me—it helps to talk about your shit.”

Vaggie chuckled mirthlessly. “In that case, maybe you should talk about your nightmares instead.”

“I already do! Husk is a wonderful listener.” The smile was back in place, bright as ever. His eyes were glued to her own. “Who do you talk to?”

Vaggie tore her gaze away.

She really was tired.

Tired of sleep deprivation. Tired of spending her nights in the Hotel lobby.

Tired of ignoring the problems at the back of her mind.

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it once more and let the words slip out.

“I miss home.”

Even in the quiet, she was barely audible. Vaggie moved her hand off the upholstery, tracing random shapes on her leg as she forced words past the sudden lump in her throat. “I—I know that I shouldn’t, but I miss the Exorcist barracks.”

There it was.

The truth that had been weighing on her since rebuilding the Hotel. The reason she spent her nights in the lobby, finding any semblance of an excuse to avoid going to bed. She had even spent one night doing paperwork with Alastor of all people, pretending not to notice the suspicious glances he kept sending her way.

More than the others, though, Angel regularly stayed up with her. Both of them knew why he avoided sleep, and both of them stood by an unspoken rule to ignore it. To ignore both of their problems.

Until now.

Her vision blurred slightly.

“Lute and I shared a room,” she continued without thinking. Angel’s gaze burned against her, but she could not bring herself to look at him. “It was the first time I had to share a room with someone, but I didn’t mind. It was still mine, at least partially. It was safe.” She swallowed hard, throat tight. “It was the first place that ever felt like home.”

Chills shot down her spine, goosebumps pricking her skin. Vaggie rubbed her arms and discreetly sniffed. Now that she had stepped into her memories, she was almost too lost in her thoughts to notice Angel sitting up and watching her carefully. “Lute was a decent roommate, too. She respected my privacy. Never said anything about how I kept my spear with me when I slept, or about how I never slept under the covers. She let me do what I needed to, and slowly, the room started to feel safe.”

Her voice cracked, and she internally prayed that Angel had not noticed.

The ache in her chest grew heavier. The words were falling from her lips faster than she could stop them.

“I hadn’t even known it was possible to feel so comfortable. I started keeping my spear in the closet at night. I started sleeping with blankets. I—I  picked my own bedsheets. For the first time ever, I was allowed to choose.” She sucked in air, panting as though she had sprinted up the stairs. “They were gray. With little blue roses. My covers were also blue. They were my choice, too.”

“Vaggie…”

“It was just one room, but it was mine. It was a home.” She trembled, clenching her jaw to stop her teeth from chattering. Blinked rapidly as her eye grew dangerously wet. “It was the first time I was free. The first time I felt…safe.” Her breath hitched on a choked sob.

A warm hand settled on her upper arm. A beat later, it snaked around her shoulders.

Her words hovered uncomfortably in the air.

“Do you…not feel safe anymore?” Angel asked tentatively. She did not need to look at him to see the concern painted starkly on his face.

She was tired.

She wanted to go home.

Vaggie did not want to say it aloud, lest it somehow get back to Charlie, but….

“I did,” she admitted. “A little. I—but I was so scared Charlie would find out I was an angel, and then everything happened with Heaven, and Lute came down and tried to kill us, and then Adam died, and the Hotel was destroyed, and—and—”

She rubbed her face, trying and failing to discreetly wipe her eye. If Angel noticed, he was kind enough to not comment, instead pulling her trembling body closer against his side.

Her voice was a choked whisper. “Everything feels so…temporary. Like our life is going to fall apart at any second.” Again.

“But the Exterminations are over,” Angel tried. His hand rubbed up and down her arm. “Charlie’s plan got approved. I mean, it’s definitely hard to get used to, but…it’s actually safe here. For once.”

“And—and I know that.” Despite the clenching of her jaw, her teeth were chattering. Her muscles felt tight and like jelly at the same time. “But I—I still can’t relax. And I—and I love Charlie, but I can’t go into our bedroom. I can’t sleep in there. It just…doesn’t feel safe anymore.” Her voice was a strangled whisper. “Nothing feels safe anymore.”

Her eye stung. Her face burned.

Against her will, a couple of tears slipped down her cheek.

Vaggie sniffled and wiped them away, ducking her head. Wordlessly, Angel tightened his grip, adjusting his hold to pull her into a proper hug.

“I just…want to go home.”

It was so late.

The exhaustion of several late nights weighed down on her. She was nearly limp in Angel’s grip. Tears silently trailed down her cheek.

Her eye was slipping shut. Numbly, she wrapped her arms around herself. She was shaking.

Distantly, Vaggie felt herself being lifted into the air. Carried up the stairs before a door creaked open and someone set her onto a bed. Warm blankets were pulled over her. She was shaking a little bit less.

“Goodnight, Vags. We…can talk about this in the morning.”

The door clicked shut as her fingers laced with a familiar hand. She exhaled.

This was not home. But she really wished it was.

~~~

A/N: Acegust complete! Somehow!