#Not just physically but the emotional aspect of it all too

[satsugacafe]

𝐉𝐮𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐇𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: (1) Can I ask for relationship hcs for Jugram?(If it really possible? Lollol) And NSFW too, if u dont mind :)This boy need more love in this fandom :c (2) Can you please write sfw and nsfw headcanons for jugram, yhwach (separately) x fem reader? Thanks ❤️❤️

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: Yhwach headcanons will be in a separate post, anon, since I wrote so much for Jugram. I really hope you all enjoy this and aren’t overwhelmed by the length, because I tend to be thorough for these types of content, and I also wanted to write a lot for him (he’s my fav). I also sectioned of the SFW from the NSFW for those who just wanna read the SFW.

➳❥ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: I tried to make this entirely GN reader, but got sidetracked in the NSFW section, so fem!reader in the NSFW section, very long, possessiveness, talks of hard and soft dom!Jugram, oral (giving & receiving), rough & soft sex, sub!reader, marking (spanking & creampies), hair pulling, pet names, fingering, aftercare

➳❥ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭: SFW and NSFW headcanons for being in a relationship with Jugram Haschwalth

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

「 ✦ SFW Headcanons ✦ 」

˚₊‧꒰ა He wasn’t perfect when it came to dating you. At first, he made it appear out of duty rather than emotions and connections, so it was a bumpy start. Juggling you, his duty to Yhwach and his friendship was an imbalance in the beginning. He struggled to separate his time for each of you.

˚₊‧꒰ა Dating Jugram is not an easy task because you have to be prepared to have most of your time with him fragmented, because of his dedication and loyalty to Yhwach. A date you two planned might be interrupted by the sudden request of his presence or helping him de-stress would be interrupted by him needing to sort out some arising matters.

˚₊‧꒰ა You once joked about how Yhwach might be jealous of you stealing away his right-hand man and having him devoted to another, which made him momentarily smile. He doesn’t admit it much, but you make him feel alive and help add colour to the mechanical aspect of his life.

˚₊‧꒰ა You must be prepared to receive his form of words of affirmation. They’re not over-the-top, or flowery. Instead, they are rather curt and straightforward. His compliments and adoration surround your duties and how good you are to him. “You were excellent today on the field,” he’ll mention softly, or on softer days, “You’ve ruined me, you know?”

˚₊‧꒰ა There are moments when you can manage to catch him in a slight sentimental drift, and many tender words come tumbling out. Preferably during a stressful period when Yhwach came down harsher than usual, or he had a burnout—he would hold you tighter as though you were his lifeline. “This feels nice. Thank you,” he whispers into your stomach as he holds you.

˚₊‧꒰ა It’s an odd, yet comforting and understanding gesture you had come to learn about him. Given his childhood and upbringing, physical affections weren’t something Jugram relied on or received in a comforting manner. It left him touch-starved with a bitter taste in his mouth. Hesitant to approach the act even though he desired to.

˚₊‧꒰ა So when you came into the picture and started showering him with physical affection, he treated you with feline behaviour, seeking distance because it was overwhelming and not within his stoic mannerism to be so physical. But when he did come around, you’d get those moments when he would cling to you as though you were about to vanish.

˚₊‧꒰ა All his touches are reserved for closed doors, minus brushing your hair out your face, placing a hand on your lower back or brushing his hand against yours. He found it odd how much he craved your warmth and safety. You were his safe haven.

˚₊‧꒰ა Falls asleep in your arms after a long day of duties and overseeing the Empire for Yhwach. At first, he used to tense when you ran your fingers through his hair. Now, he melts under your touch as it lulls him to sleep. Your arms have become a frequent place for him to disassociate from the world.

˚₊‧꒰ა Speaking of hair. You once asked him for his hair routine, and he calmly stated that he had none and that his hair was naturally silky and majestic. You had never been so bummed out in your entire life. However, it doesn’t stop you from offering to wash his hair or combing it after a long day.

˚₊‧꒰ა You’re the only person who can convince him—through dire persuasion—to allow you to style his hair during your private moments behind closed doors. But you’re not getting to put bows and clips in his hair. He’ll let you put some braids in since he’s from a time when braids were a common practice and a form of affection, even let you wash his hair (scratch his scalp and he might pur).

˚₊‧꒰ა Though, he would request that you keep your affections quieter in public settings since he had his professional image to upon and Yhwach was always observing. He didn’t need his King questioning why you were clingy and could not control yourself.

˚₊‧꒰ა Getting Jugram to whisper those three little words was perhaps a roller coaster ride. To him, his acts of service and words of affirmation should be enough to let you know that he loved you. Why do you need him to vocalise it?

˚₊‧꒰ა A trip to one of the female Sternritters or Bazz would let him know that it was important to say nonetheless. And that’s how you got Jugram to whisper, “I love you,” in the most heartfelt and tender tone as he held you closely. Still, it’s not all the time he says it.

˚₊‧꒰ა Expect to hear it if you get injured and he nearly loses you, after a sentimental moment filled with reassurance, or when you shower him in kisses and whisper the words until he mutters them with a tender smile.

˚₊‧꒰ა As an individual who is focused on displaying his devotion through his loyalty and service, the same will be done towards you. Silently draping his cloak over you when he notices you forgot yours or were chill, sending up fresh tea or breakfast each morning because he knows you’re too stubborn to eat properly, helping you ascend through the ranks.

˚₊‧꒰ა Jugram cares more than he likes to admit, believing that his actions were enough to convince you of his affection and devotion towards him. In the beginning, your relationship would be rough since he treated it like a duty similar to serving Yhwach. You had to be patient when it came to teaching him the proper ropes of relationship etiquette, so he could excel.

˚₊‧꒰ა Overprotective to some degree. The world is already cruel to Quincies, he doesn’t need to lose someone he considers important to the horrors of this world. Hence, his reason for excluding you from certain fieldwork or tagging along for extra security when he can. If not, he would pair you with someone he considered capable, though he never once saw anyone worthy of protecting you besides himself.

˚₊‧꒰ა His protectiveness does become overbearing because he treats you like glass as if you didn’t have the capability to dismantle the second-strongest Quincy with a few sweet words and hugs. It does lead to arguments which results in getting nowhere due to his stagnation. However, for your sake, as much as he wouldn’t outrightly admit, he would ease up on certain protective measures.

˚₊‧꒰ა Gifts will be given and that’s one time Jugram will not hold back, nor will he accept you informing him that he was doing too much. It’s his way of expressing his love and devotion—by wanting the person he’s with to have all that they need and want to make living comfortable. “Is there anything else you wish for, liebchen?”

˚₊‧꒰ა It is also his way of apologising if he did something. However, he would take a trip to Bazz, Askin or Bambietta for a bit of advice on what he could do to make it up to you, without revealing your relationship details.

˚₊‧꒰ა On that note—incredibly private on any topic involving your relationship and hate when something speaks about you. He would stand nearby, straining his ears to overhear the conversation, and should it be negative, whoever it was, would be removed from office before the day was over. “You’ve exercised your ability to be insolent for quite some time—today that ends.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Doesn’t like when you talk negatively about yourself because what do you mean you don’t see yourself as capable or strong or worthy? Hello?! In his mind, the fact that you were able to convince him that you were the best person to be with and managed to bag yourself a complex man like him, was an accomplishment by itself. You should be praising yourself, highly.

˚₊‧꒰ა He would be awkward on the emotional spectrum of consoling you. He would sit there, staring at you and wondering what exactly he should do. Say something? Hold you? Give you space? Sit and wait till you were done? Call for help? His words, when he does find the right thing to say, will carry notes of warmth and appreciation. “Please do not cry, schatz. It hurts me to see you this broken—you are one of the strongest people I know.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He would nestle you in bed, draping a ton of blankets over you and demanding that you remain stationed since you were in no condition to perform your duties. Would send the servants to fetch you food and tea, and well…you might be lucky to have him feed you.

˚₊‧꒰ა Stepping aside from that, you have Jugram who grows weak and flustered whenever he sees you in his clothes. Be it his uniform or his clothes, it doesn’t matter if it’s fitted or loose, he grows weakened at the sight. His hands would curl into fists at his sides as he fights to restrain himself from holding you. “You look…—It would appear that my clothes suit you better than me.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Reassurances. On his end that is. You need to let this man know that he’s enough and important. Let him know how much you adore and need him, he is loved and appreciated. He’ll fumble—stunned at the emotional display of words being directed towards him but appreciated them.

˚₊‧꒰ა Now, onto kissing him. The first time he experienced what a kiss felt like, he would not admit it—he melted on the inside and couldn’t shake the feeling of your lips on his. From that day on, kissing you has become one of his favourite forms of physical affection. Be it to his forehead, the crown of his head, your hand or wrist, your cheek, neck or lips.

˚₊‧꒰ა There’s something about you kissing him goodbye or good morning that helps to make his day a little brighter. It’s like a good luck charm that unconventionally chases away the stormy clouds.

˚₊‧꒰ა Kissing him easily ventures into an erratic interaction if one of you doesn’t break apart. His lips will remain glued to your skin and wander, while his grip on you tightens, his body pressing firmly against yours. He becomes a little more vocal during this moment, his terms of expressions confidently flowing from his mouth. “You drive me crazy, you know that? I could keep you here with me all day—you’re mine.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Ah yes, how could I have forgotten. His possessive streak. You cannot tell me that this man is not naturally possessive and jealous. Like why do you need to be close to others when you have me? Why do you need someone else to train you? I’m here. Where are you going without me? Why was that person flirting with what’s mine? “You’re mine, don’t forget that, or I’ll have to remind you and everyone else.”

˚₊‧꒰ა When it comes to ensuring that you and others remember who you belong to, Jugram transforms into a calculating, dominant individual (as if he isn’t). He wouldn’t be heavily affectionate and whatnot, but he will hover and remain glued at your side, and use terms of endearment a lot more, like ‘Schatz, engel, liebchen, liebe lien and so forth.’

˚₊‧꒰ა He’ll whisper against your lips after a hungry kiss, “You’re mine. Don’t forget that, or I’ll have to remind you.” His way of saying that you’re his, while it is possessive, he says it with the hidden meaning of ‘Don’t leave me, you’re all I have,’ since you are regarded as the (second) most precious person to him. You gotta fight against Yhwach for first place.

「 ✦ NSFW Headcanons ✦ 」

˚₊‧꒰ა First and foremost, his cock is pretty (if y’all didn’t know that). It’s pretty just like him—long, thick and girthy. And his stamina is insanely otherworldly. He could edge himself for a long while, all for the sake of ensuring you come first, and to display his dominance.

˚₊‧꒰ა He is a service top. This man’s entire life is built around being devoted and serving, you cannot tell me that while he retains his dominance, he is willing to showcase his ability to care and provide through being a thorough lover—listening to your needs and desires and giving, while incorporating his touch.

˚₊‧꒰ა He thrives off knowing that your pleasure is taken care of and you are satisfied. But it doesn’t mean that he isn’t willing to accept reciprocity. On his days when he’s stressed or requires reassurance, you just gotta push him down in his chair or bed and get to work. He’ll be gripping the sheets or you for life.

˚₊‧꒰ა Now, with his service top complex, he is a dominant, somewhere in between a hard and soft dom. Being submissive isn’t something you would get from him, but Jugram will allow you a moment to show your devotion by relaxing and letting you do your thing. He’s still holding onto the reigns.

˚₊‧꒰ა So, with his possessive streak, he enjoys body worshipping and leaving his mark all over you, in discreet places, of course. His mouth is attached to your skin throughout the entire session. If he’s not whispering in your ear, he’s biting or kissing your skin. Or his hands are gripping you tightly to leave a few bruises. And, uh, he secretly enjoys it when you leave scratches down his back.

˚₊‧꒰ა You once saw him looking at his back in the mirror one morning after a rough night, his fingers tracing the red lines he could reach with a small smile on his face. He likes the idea of having a mark that represents you, on him.

˚₊‧꒰ა Now, speaking of marking. Jugram has a thing (his possessiveness) for filling you up to the brim and no, he doesn’t agree to make a mess. It’s either swallowing (if you’re into it) or he empties himself inside you, and he prefers the latter a lot more due to his mild breeding kink. It’s not to get you pregnant, but he enjoys the idea of you being thoroughly marked through this method.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’ll calmly push his cum back into your pussy if it was spilling out, murmuring about how pretty it looked in you, and this leads to him fingering you into another orgasm. He also enjoys watching his handprints all over your ass after he spanks you.

˚₊‧꒰ა When he’s being a hard dom, you can expect it to showcase during times of high stress or you’ve riled him up. He’s rougher and will have you pinned under him for hours, leaving you incapacitated when finished. He’ll take you from behind, pulling your hair to sink you into a deeper arch while leaving handprints all over your ass as he whispers his filth. “Look at how well you take me. Just like that, liebchen. Squeeze me tighter.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s a simple guy when it comes to positions, sticking to missionary, face down ass up, cowgirl, bent of his desk and taking you against the wall. As for where he takes you, mainly resides behind closed doors—you aren’t getting him to take you in public. In the bedroom or in his office for the most public of places.

˚₊‧꒰ა His patience is unnerving. The way you could tease and taunt this man the entire mission, even if it takes days to complete, he will retain his composure UNTIL you return to Silbern. Then it’s his game, and you are to do as he commands otherwise, punishment.

˚₊‧꒰ა Jugram’s usual form of punishment, when you misbehave, would focus on spanking, overstimulation, edging and orgasm denial. He loves to hear you beg and sound needy and desperate for him—fuels his pride to know you want him so badly. He’ll use this opportunity to have you on your knees and show him just how much you crave him—suck his dick.

˚₊‧꒰ა I’m serious. He really enjoys it when you suck him off—when you struggle to take all of him yet determined to continue pleasing. It makes him smile as he guides your mouth along his cock. “Such a good girl. You’re doing so well.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Ugh, the way he speaks to you during sex is heavenly. The things he says make you question where this vocality was hiding. “You were made for me, every inch of you belongs to my will,” “I can’t get enough of you,” “Look at me—let me see how crazy I drive you,” “Do you feel that? How consumed you are by me?” “You know exactly what you do to me, and you like it, don’t you?” “Say my name. Say who you belong to.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He loves to whisper and remind you that you belong to him. Whether you’ve done something that requires him to put you in your place or a passionate moment—he’ll always tell you that you’re his and never forget that.

˚₊‧꒰ა  Underneath this shell of his, Jugram also has his softer dom side which is displayed more often whenever you two have sex on the regular. His soft dom side is filled with him expressing his reverence, like a sentimental moment, a little session before you sleep or you returned from fieldwork alive. Along the lines of that.

˚₊‧꒰ა His lips are attached to you most of the time, his forehead against yours and looking into your eyes. There’s not an inch of space between your bodies due to the way he’s moulded himself against yours. A little more vocal in terms of moaning, and fewer words since he’s deep into the moment, trying to connect with your soul.

˚₊‧꒰ა Eye contact is a serious thing for him. Whether his face is buried between your thighs, you’re going down on him or either of you are on top, he wants to maintain some level of eye contact.

˚₊‧꒰ა During his softer side, he’ll have you face him a lot more and will also allow you to ride him without attempting to manhandle you under him. However, the grip on your waist and hips is a silent reminder that he is still in control.

˚₊‧꒰ა Ah, yes. Pet names. I know I’ve mentioned terms of endearment he would address you by, but during sex, he’ll call you a ‘good girl,’ ‘princess,’ ‘darling,’ ‘sweetheart,’ in his sultry voice. Especially when he’s moaning in your ear or sweet-talking and praising you.

˚₊‧꒰ა Jugram really loves it when you moan his name. It doesn’t matter how. Be it sweetly, raspy, broken, squealing, whining, pathetically—he loves the way his name rolls off your tongue. A reason why he indulges in eating you out, just to watch you lose composure as you struggle to catch your breath and speak his name.

˚₊‧꒰ა I might not have mentioned it, but Jugram loves the way you taste. The act of eating you out is something he views as him venturing into losing control. Like, he knows he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself after getting a taste. He gets so lost in your taste, that he can’t believe you’re this heavenly and capable of making him lose his composure.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s not going to tell you this, but during the session when you take the lead, mainly because of him being stressed or needing reassurance. When you praise him, letting him know how good of a lover he is, how he takes good care of you and how important he is to you and the empire—he loves it. Makes him feel good.

˚₊‧꒰ა Just praise this man more often. He praises Yhwach far too much, that he deserves his moment for being front and centre.

˚₊‧꒰ა This one doesn’t matter whether or not he’s in hard or soft dom mode: wear lingerie for him and watch as he slowly cracks, especially if it’s his favourite colour. He has a preference for babydoll dresses, but honestly, just wear lingerie or even his clothes if you want to drive him up a wall.

˚₊‧꒰ა Whisper in his ear how much you want him, run your hands all over his chest, rake your fingers through his hair. Congratulations, you have a composed man who lost his control and has become unhinged. If you’re in his office, you’re getting bent over his desk, if in the bedroom, then pinned under him in some position.

˚₊‧꒰ა Not a fan of quickies since he isn’t allowed to have you the way he would like, however, he would oblige if he has the time for them, due to your persuasive methods. A quickie in the shower is one he wouldn’t have an issue with.

˚₊‧꒰ა Doesn’t matter whether hard or soft dom, aftercare is important to him. Jugram will clean you up, get you a glass of water and massage what areas he can while asking how you’re feeling. His favourite aftermath is mostly pillow talk, as you two are lying in each other’s arms, your body still trembling from the intensity because he’s a thorough lover. He’ll press a kiss to your hair and whisper, “You did well. I love you.”

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @edensrose

©satsugacafé 2025: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[bedupolker]

PLAYLIST. @viv13drainbow I think if you like that song in particular you'd also really enjoy Summer Salt, Little Joy, and Babe Rainbow for chill beach-y rock (not included). Commentary below:

The Blue Album - The album to start all albums, the album that launched weezer to success. Many hail this as their best album (I love this album but respectfully disagree) but nonetheless it's an essential for weezer fans and alt rock fans as a whole. Plenty of people who know way more about music than I do have praised blue album at length, and it's a funny meme nowadays too. Of course say it ain't so is an all-time classic, a heart-wrenching look into Rivers's relationship with alcoholism and his parental figures. I dunno if anything on the blue album can be called a proper deep cut, but only in dreams is an overlooked gem, and probably my favorite outro in their whole discography. Hopeful but somber, that slow buildup a the end to the guitar solo. Suzanne is a nice B-side.

Pinkerton - the infamous Pinkerton. Their sophomore album. Their breakdown album. Although weezer's not exactly an emo band, this album is often credited to being influential to the genre as a whole. No two people have the same experience with love or breakups, and one of the beautiful things about art is that we can see an experience through anothers' eyes, but I don't think I can think of a more painfully relatable album than this one. The balancing act of portraying its sympathetically-unsympathetic protagonist as equal parts pathetic and lonely while also entitled and aggressive. Some of the vocals are so raw for a second you see the monster in the five foot six, nerdy, physically disabled, lead singer that he sees himself as. Hard for me to pick a favorite standalone song off this one; the good life is a funky jam that wouldn't be out of place next to wheatus or RCHP's tracks, but that's where all the funk ends. Why bother? is a driving, catchy song that starts to show the cracks of his depression, falling for you is full of emotion, and if you get your hands on the deluxe edition, tragic girl.

Green album - At its time of release, Pinkerton was not received well. Creating such a raw, personal piece of art is hard. It's like the artistic version of getting crazy drunk, pouring your heart out, feeling catharsis for a moment, then realizing you'll have to deal with it all the next day. A lot of people interpret island in the sun as a happy song, but to me it's the tylenol after that night of drinking, a lie to tell yourself just to get through the day. It has a peaceful rhythm and brings to mind a tropical paradise, but there's something undeniably melancholy beneath the sunshine and smiles. You've tried to face your pain and you barely escaped alive, maybe you're better off just ignoring it. (That being said, although the damage has been done, Pinkerton has later been reevaluated and is now as widely praised as the Blue Album amongst music critics, and Rivers himself has made peace with that phase in his life.)

Maladroit - Overall this album is rather overlooked. It leans a bit more heavily into the rock aspect compared to green album, yet the lyrics remain impersonal and goofy. It's still not a bad album, though doesn't reach the heights of the first two. The singles, Dope Nose & Keep Fishing are both solid, but Burndt Jamb is my personal favorite. A little beach-y, probably their Stroke-y est song, (the band, not the medical emergency), it's been a mainstay on several of my chill out playlists for years now.

Make Believe - Probably one of their most hated albums by fans. It has the infamously shallow and poppy beverly hills, but you know what? I'm a Make Believe Defender. I truly think it could've been a great album, maybe even on par with Pinkerton. Not because of the album itself, but the demos. Haunt you Everyday is solid on the final product but rips at my heartstrings in this demo, ditto for tell me what you did (different name on the final product), everybody wants a chance to be alone (I said burndt jamb was their strokiest song but I think it might actually be this one) purple flowers (lyrics are a little rough but the melody, the meloncholy... so good) Actually on that note, weezer has, like, multiple album's worth of unreleased content that's miles better than anything on a published album (Link for one of my favorite fan compilations). Yes, the lyrics sound like something I wrote in my diary after a breakup, but that makes them all the more real. A deep dive into weezer will reveal the terrifying truth we've all been blind to: weezer never got bad.

Red Album - Mixed feelings on this one. It was produced by Rick Rubin, industry titan and famous for bringing bands "back from the dead," he's produced more than one of my all time favorite albums. Red is not one of them unfortunately. It has its fans though. Pork and Beans is fun.

Raditude, Hurley, Death to False Metal - Skipping these bc I don't care abt them

Everything will be alright in the end - To fans, this was their first "good" album since Maladroit, maybe since Pinkerton (12 years prior!) depending on who you ask. Although it wasn't as commercially successful as some others, it's a very strong album. Really, what is it about rock bands forgetting they're rock bands then suddenly returning to releasing rock music and magically being good again?? I'm looking @ you too, fall out boy. I have a hard time picking a really standout song- it's one of those albums that's evenly good throughout, no skips, but no obvious standouts either. Da Vinci is fun.

White Album - A fantastic album. You can hear some pretty heavy beach boys influence in this one. Unlike EWBAITE it has a few skips for me, but the highs are very high. Speaking of high. Do you wanna get high has to be my favorite off this one, Endless Bummer could be a sequel to island in the sun, Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori is just good clean weezy fun.

Pacific Daydream - I'm a Pacific Daydream defender. Check out QB blitz. Weekend Woman is flawed, but fun too, the bridge really makes it for me. Very evocative of Good Vibrations by the beach boys.

Teal Album - Oh god a cover album. No Scrubs is probably the only one really worth checking out if nothing else to hear a geeky white guy say "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly" like he's reading it out of a dictionary. (TLC, who wrote and performed the original song, allegedly got a kick out of it)

Black Album & Van Weezer - I don't care about these either. Damnit I thought we were gonna be good again!

Ok Human - A good album!! What a relief. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be to name yourself as a homage such a groundbreaking radiohead album and have it be.... bad??? I particularly love this one because in some ways it feels like it's his most personal album since Pinkerton- only instead of being an honest dialogue from a horribly lonely and isolated 20 year old student, it's a much more well adjusted, happily married, 50 year old father who is subject to both optimism and ennui. And it rocks! In a soft, subdued way. The songs flow into each other so nicely, the first three in the album debatably are my favorite 3-song-run in their discog. Aloo Gobi and Grapes of Wrath especially. The transition from dark and somber Dead Roses to light and upbeat Here Comes the Rain never gets old to me. This album (alongside MGMT's little dark age and The Stroke's The New Abnormal) was also like my essential Coronavirus holy trinity.

Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter - This is a compilation of 4 EP's, one of each released during their respective seasons in 2022. I think it's solid all around, with Summer being the strongest. Records and Blue Like Jazz are both very catchy, Thank you and Goodnight... just wait for the outro, trust me.

[luvashli]

Synopsis -> you are pulled into a mysterious mansion where seven men are bound by a dark pact. As you navigates their secrets, desires, and emotional turmoil, you must decide whether to break free or embrace your dangerous connection with them all, uncovering love and sacrifice along the way.

11 -> Bound by Desire

The tension in the mansion grew with each passing day. The boys’ emotions seemed to be spiraling out of control, and you couldn’t deny your own growing connection to them.

One evening, you found Jay in the study, a cigarette dangling from his fingers as he stared out the window.

“You know, these things don’t even affect me anymore,” he said without turning around.

“Then why do you smoke them?”

He glanced at you over his shoulder, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Habit, I guess. Or maybe I just like the taste.”

You stepped closer, your eyes narrowing. “You’re deflecting.”

Jay chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re too smart for your own good, you know that?”

“Tell me what’s really going on,” you said, your voice firm.

He sighed, extinguishing the cigarette in the ashtray. “The pact is… unstable. It’s always been tied to our emotions, but with you here, it’s like everything’s been amplified.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“It’s dangerous,” he said, his expression darkening. “For all of us.”

The breaking point came one night during a storm. Lightning flashed outside the windows, illuminating the darkened halls as you made your way toward the library.

You found Heeseung there, leaning against the fireplace with a drink in his hand.

“I thought I’d find you here,” you said, stepping into the room.

He didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on the flames.

“Are you going to ignore me too?” you asked, your frustration boiling over.

Heeseung turned to you, his gaze intense. “Do you know what you’re doing to us, Y/n?”

“What I’m doing?” you repeated, taken aback.

“You’re breaking us,” he said, his voice low. “The pact is unraveling, and it’s because of you.”

“Maybe it’s not me,” you shot back. “Maybe it’s you. Maybe this is what happens when you try to cheat fate.”

Heeseung’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might argue. But instead, he closed the distance between you, his eyes burning into yours.

“You think this is easy for me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “You think I don’t feel it too?”

“Feel what?” you demanded, your heart pounding in your chest.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was both desperate and restrained.

It ended as quickly as it began, Heeseung pulling away as if burned.

“This isn’t just about us,” he said, his voice rough. “It’s about all of us. And if we don’t figure this out, it’s going to destroy everything.”

Heeseung’s faint smile faltered, and he turned away, running a hand through his hair. His hesitation sent a chill down your spine, and you narrowed your eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”

He stiffened, his back still to you. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me,” you said, crossing your arms. “If we’re doing this together, then stop keeping secrets.”

He let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging. “The pact… it’s not just about our fates intertwining or whatever poetic nonsense we told you.” He turned back to you, his expression haunted. “There’s… a physical aspect to it.”

Your stomach churned. “Physical?”

“It’s the bond,” he admitted, his voice hesitant. “To keep it strong—alive—there has to be… closeness. Intimacy.”

“Closeness,” you repeated, the word sour on your tongue. Then it hit you. The memory of Sunghoon brushing his lips against yours in the heat of an argument, the way Jay had kissed you after a shared secret, Jungwon’s stolen moment under the moonlight, and now Heeseung… “You’re telling me the kisses—the all of you—” Your voice broke, and you stepped back, shaking your head. “They were part of the pact?”

Heeseung’s silence was answer enough.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, the weight of it crashing down on you. Your voice rose, your chest tightening. “So it wasn’t real? None of it? Just some… some ritual to save your skins?”

“It’s not like that,” Heeseung said, stepping closer, desperation in his voice. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. None of us wanted—”

“Wanted what?” you cut him off, anger and hurt flaring. “To make me believe it meant something? To make me feel like an idiot for falling for you—for all of you?”

Heeseung’s jaw clenched, his hands balling into fists. “We didn’t plan this, Y/n. None of us expected to care.”

“Oh, how comforting,” you spat, the sarcasm sharp enough to cut. “Because that just makes it so much better, doesn’t it?”

“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice breaking, but you were already backing away, the firelight casting shadows over his stricken face.

“No, I think I understand perfectly,” you snapped. “I was stupid to believe any of this was real. Stupid to think I could trust any of you.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but you held up a hand, cutting him off. “Don’t. Just—don’t.”

Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked out of the library, your heart shattering with every step. As the storm raged outside, you realized it wasn’t just the pact that was breaking.

It was you.

Masterlist Previous Next

[cxpperhead]

"Icons only" eliza telling him shes pregnant

Send "Icons only" and something for my muse to react to And I will show my muse's reaction using only icons (1-5) and no text

[alun-ura]

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? and What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? (Alun)

Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

I wouldn't say Alun gets jealous per se, instead what she feels is something more akin to protectiveness and spite to some extent - the way and the intensity of it varying of course depending on the person. In that regard Alun is usually very calm, she doesn't carry a sense of possessiveness over people for multiple reasons; one being that I hardly imagine Alun being a monogamous person, but going deeper into it would be that because of her lifestyle and past experiences, she wouldn't want to be heavily romantically invested to someone so she nips it at the bud before it can even get to the point of bubbling such a feeling.

Specifying a bit HOW she feels, when it comes to being protective of someone she does care about - Alun isn't exactly bothered about them being with someone else. Still, it is a lingering feeling of 'Is this person good enough for you?, Are they able to keep you safe? Will they hurt you?' that can make her somewhat hostile to this other party, or even seem jealous. When it comes to spite, it is usually aimed at partners she doesn't care as much about - people that tend to be more physical with her and, ironically enough, people that try to make her jealous. Most times, people with this kind of dynamic already have a nasty attitude coming from Alun, of overall being a prick and not pleasant - she'd often describe such people as her leftovers, if the other party wants that then she is more than fine with it. It's usually in a degrading way to both people, which can also seem like spiteful jealousy.

Alun neither feels bad nor regrets either situation, she feels entitled to both feelings in the way that A) She is seeking the best for that person when being protective to the point of being horrible to them, and B) She was never in an emotional tie to care about being spiteful to someone, often lacing it with the fact that she would have most likely warned them that things would be like that. Both are not exactly good, both her behaviors and her reasoning for them are rooted in deeper issues within herself that just flower up in such a way.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

I think the main thing that comes to mind is her inability to emotionally connect or rely on people, though I realize Alun has many varying obstacles in all categories (go girl!) so for this I'd just go down the list.

Emotional; to explain this better I'll dip toes a bit into some past stuff as Alun has been on an emotional rollercoaster since she left the Steppes - which was the exact opposite of what she used to be like, in quite the opposite, she had experienced little and none during her time living there, to the point of getting into a 'stunted' personality and emotional. There was far too much to address and to live once she left, and hardly any care for it at the time as if one decided to eat a huge hearty meal after being starved for weeks. As expected, it didn't go too well which leaves the current times not too different from what she used to be - there was a myriad of situations and feelings she had never properly experienced truly, and the main and lingering one at the current times is love and grief. What slingshot Alun into the current person she is, how she behaves, and how she emotionally responds to things and people is the loss of a loved one caused by herself, perhaps the only one she deemed true in her life despite never truly allowing room for another after that accident happened. 

It is one of the biggest themes when it comes to Alun as a person in a deeper sense of her character (and something plastered all over her aesthetic tag) but particularly this encompasses the feeling well.

"my death will forever cling to you, leaving behind a slimy trail and a metallic taste in your mouth. my soul will forever drag you down like the heavy corpse of a long-dead god, who somehow still grants wishes. you can't tell which one of us is the one not letting go. you know not even your own death will end this." 

This branches out in other aspects of her obstacles per se but I believe it to be the biggest of them, realistically she should get over it - but the damage made by her and to her due to such feeling is the one thing that I find it incredibly hard to see Alun surpass as it grew into an enormous knot between emotion, physical and social all. She is constantly haunted by it, in her dreams and losing sleep over it, it follows her in a personality adopted by herself and traits that did not belong to her, she sees them in shadows and the corners of her eyes during medication, the crystal necklace being the only thing she has from them - that sometimes seems to talk to her with that same voice. And she has questioned her sanity before due to it all, even when she is doing good or when she is completely awake it is there as a constant ringing of what happened will be shackled to her. So it ends up reflecting an unfulfilled bond, in guilt and fear that she has to surpass to truly, emotionally connect with someone. I don't think she needs to get over ALL of these to make it happen personally, but because of the type of person she is, it is very easy for the other side to fuck up in the way and have Alun retract from any progress made.

Alun is bitterly aware of it, it has come into the topic before and she recognizes it as the issue it is when she began questioning her own sanity due to it, but she isn't trying to overcome it in any way. She has, as a character, gone full circle where she hated the lack of motion her life had brought her, only to willingly walk back into it herself - Alun is 'comfortable' in the stillness of carrying her life as it is until she dies and hopefully can meet them again. 

Physical; I think this can be addressed both in a bodily manner and a physical interaction way so I'll ramble about both. Going deeper into that, due to the scarring that such a loss left on her, the regards for her wellbeing were knocked away as well and this turned into a couple issues with her current days. She has sustained a couple injuries over the years, the worst being over her ribcage as I mentioned somewhere here before - the wound clearly affects her breathing if one has a keen eye for it. She also puts too much attention into defending that side, enough to leave room for other crucial parts of her body open as a target. Because of her behavior regarding her own body, she doesn't go through too much trouble in defending it, though of course she won't take blows if she can avoid it - but the scarrings over her are clear enough. To this point, she doesn't exactly have too many issues besides that which brings the actual bodily obstacle; her dependency on medication. Her body is usually aching, due to exertion, injuries, and the chemical response to the constant cocktail that goes inside her - usually all deafened by it. It has got to the point where she doesn't heal properly due to it, her response to a magickal approach isn't good too in both the body and mind, and on top of it, it has been affecting her inhibition and cognition to some extent. Her necklace takes part in how her body takes all of this in, but her addiction is by far her worst physical obstacle - and yet again, she is aware of it but she doesn't see it as a problem that has any other solution to it because she doesn't see the dependency as the problem, but how her body & health currently are now. 

The other facet of a physical obstacle is how she physically connects to people since the emotional option is usually out of the picture. This is the way that Alun will gladly invest herself into, though yet again it is in a destructive way as I mentioned above regarding her wellbeing. It is the easiest way to connect to her, and also the easiest way to completely shatter any opportunity to get anywhere 'closer' to her - and also what she WILL offer in most scenarios if the chance is given. This doesn't have to be romantically or sexually exclusive, and goes as far as offering herself physically to a foe [ in a fight right? :) ], ultimately, she gets the same satisfaction of being beside someone either as a partner or as an enemy. And this can go in any way, be together in combat or opposing, sharing a respite together, or in bed. With this, she is steadily building wall after wall that, as closely as it gets with the other person, she is putting her actual self further and further away while getting that high of a company she desperately wants, not that person's company but just A company. In a physically social way, I think this is the biggest obstacle and something Alun is actually not aware of - she is lonely and starved for different aspects of comfort, and she seeks all of these with the company of strangers regardless of if they are hostile or not.

Social; I think all of the above builds into her social issues and the knot I mentioned within all of these, that builds into her biggest social struggle that's her fear of getting close, her emotional distance while being physically close, how her medication aids in hindering her personality to an extent - all of these builds into Alun being a tricky individual to get close to because she is constantly shifting from cold and hot. It flickers back and forth, from friendly teasing to cruel remarks, of interest to silence, toothy grins that follow that perpetual monotone voice. Though the reason for it is an amalgam of all of the above, she has adopted many traits of the people that she knew, people that she lost, and built who she currently is as a walking monument for those. In a way, it is one of the reasons why she won't take the approach of just choosing to die - I know I posted this quote of hers here before but this is the best take I have of the creature herself about it. 

 “All that I am now, every memory, everything that I know, every thing that I did, every single fucking step of the way– I would give it all back t'him if it meant getting him back.” 

All that she currently is is pieces put together of those that she affected somehow, that Alun blames herself for - and this shows in her very personality, in an adopted form of speech, or her preference for certain drinks, down to the very fidgeting habits she has. She does this in a conscious way while seeing that both as the person she is and someone she also won't always be - which can make it difficult if someone is after knowing Alun in a deep sense, of who she is, or keeping up with her behavior.

[subaru-meteorlight]

.

[galadrieljones]

It speaks volumes when Lavellan calls Solas a "terrible liar" in the Cobbled Swan. Rook is, of course, confused by this. "He's the god of lies," she says. But Lavellan clarifies, because that's not what she means. She means that he can't tell "lies of the heart." That is why he had to turn her away, because he actually could not deceive her.

Varric, very early in the game, also refers to Solas as "sentimental." He says to Rook, "He could burn the world down, and the thing that would make him cry is a single flower with blackened petals."

There's something very interesting about the elven god of lies and deceit, who unwillingly wears his heart on his sleeve, essentially creating a new version of the world in which all sources of raw, magical *emotion* that, according to him, used to imbue it with so much life and beauty have been compartmentalized from the more brutish, harsh aspects of the physical world. Because he, himself, has had to do this very thing to his own heart. He's "split." A very cool archetype. When he tells the Inquisitor to "harden her heart to a cutting edge" in Inquisition, he is projecting. Solas has built a "veil" within himself, to protect his more stern, militaristic identity as The Dread Wolf from the effusive, soft, and intelligent man that is Solas. It's the only way he can get anything done. Perhaps we should more aptly call him the god of stoicism and compartmentalization.

It's also interesting how well characters like Varric seem to know Solas, because it communicates that Solas did open up to the people of the Inquisition, during which time he "played the role" of quiet, unassuming Fade mage. Perhaps this wasn't a role at all, however, and perhaps this is why he is failing so spectacularly now. Who he really is is just this man who fell in love and made friends and found a home within a community where he did not have to cut off his emotions in order to lead. This was the "breach" in his plans, so to speak. It tore his world apart.

The whole story of Veilguard actually starts because Varric knows he can appeal to Solas's emotions and that this has a high chance of working to some degree. It's important to remember that while Varric didn't change Solas's mind at the ritual site, he was able to keep Solas talking long enough for Rook to sabotage his plans. Solas entertains Varric's pleas, because, sort of as Rook guesses with Lavellan at the Cobbled Swan, in some ways, Solas wants to be stopped. He wants someone to pull the reins on him because he is too prideful to stop himself.

Thinking back to Trespasser, I remember we all sort of knew this right away just in reading his body language. I remember someone making a whole post about it, and how he will not allow her to get too close to him. When she approaches, he takes a very measured step back. And later, as he takes the anchor, a task which requires him to take her hand, we see exactly why this is. He breaks down, calls her his "love," and kisses her. He is so stern and so measured and in "control," but then, all it takes is a single touch from the woman to whom he showed a glimpse of his true heart, his true self, to bring him to his knees.

The Veil as a narrative manifestation for how Solas tends to seal his own raw emotions away from others in order to function as the revolutionary general he had to be for centuries is a very beautiful construct to me.

[caamboys]

FUTURE SPOUSE PAC

the dynamic between you both

long time no see guys <333

love reading for 2025 ! 🦪 I pray the reading resonates for anyone who engages.

( unedited )

this is focused solely on your personalities / energy within your relationship, not outside or in general.

PILE ONE

core energy within the dynamic : first love, situationship turned relationship, love coming when you least expect it

Reader within the relationship dynamic

channeled song- “ pretty girls walk this “

“ foreign, private, designer, stylist “

“ I’ll throw a tantrum, now a b*tch’ll get childish “

You’re turning over a new leaf within this relationship, embracing change. You could’ve been single for a while or this is your first relationship, either way you’re inexperienced. You’ll be exploring this relationship and all the aspects of it, embracing the new physical and emotional connection. You move quickly within this dynamic, a very spontaneous energy. You might have a key to their house and pop up randomly on them. You might want to move in quickly.

I see despite you being inexperienced you’re navigating dating them freely and bravely. They make you feel confident enough to date them without being plagued by feelings of paranoia or caution. You’re going into everything headfirst within this dynamic.

Future spouse within the relationship dyanamic

channeled song - “ poison “

“ I’m not above love to cash in “

“ Anyway you want me baby, that’s the way you got me baby, I’ll be yours “

-

This will sound cliche but they’ll be the ideal romantic partner. This is a lover boy / lover girl, a simp if you will. I think prior to your guys' connection they struggled with cold and detached partners, people who never could truly handle their emotional depth and yearning. This will dampen their spirit towards love in general until they meet you. The nonchalant facade will fade, and you renew their passion for love. Your genuineness towards dating and even the naivety you have towards love is shocking to them. You’re a breath of fresh air because you have nothing but good intentions, no ulterior motives in dating. Their ability to give to you is like a bottomless pit. They feel useless if you don’t ask them for anything. Want your hair or nails done? They got it. Want to go somewhere? They’ll take you. Don’t have something you need? They’ll handle it. This is definitely Mr/Mrs. Make it Happen. Gift giving is their ultimate love language to you. It’s funny because they’ll surprise you with something you didn’t even know you wanted. This person will be in a constant internal battle on whether or not they’re doing too much. Some of them want to show you the true depths of their love and just how deeply they can love you but another part of them doesn’t want to scare you off with their intensity. Their solution to this internal struggle would be “ gift giving “, a token of their affection for you that isn’t necessarily showing it in verbal / emotional way and making them feel vulnerable.

Another thing I channeled is the way they gaze at you. Even their stare has another level of intensity and yearning.

PILE TWO

core energies: expansion, extending the lineage, exploration

Reader within the relationship dynamic

( tw : mention of childhood trauma & abuse )

( promise it’s not a sad read just a small section addressed it )

channeled song- “ I wanna be your girlfriend “

“ I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips “

“ I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

Pile two you’re never paying for anything in this relationship. It’s giving, show up and look cute and you’ve fulfilled your payment. You don’t pay attention to anything when you’re with this person in public, you’re in your own little world, content and protected. I see you in a very youthful and reckless energy within the dynamic. You may be in college/school right now and living with either roommates or parents during the initial stages of this relationship. This relationship will address and heal a lot of childhood trauma. The main thing I channeled was parental wounds. Perhaps one or both of your parents may have been emotionally absent or abusive, or something happened with a trusted guardian or teacher that formed some sort of trauma at a young age. The one thing I’m getting from this is you’ve carried a lot of burdens that forced you to think / act a lot older than you were. You may have developed a hyper independence from this. This person is going to help you release control to someone else and allow them the opportunity to help you take care of yourself.

One thing about you in this dynamic I’m fond of is your standards. You know what you want, how you wish to be treated and you won’t hesitate to leave. You have very strong boundaries and this comes from a strong self worth. You will advocate for yourself within this relationship, you will voice any opinions you have regardless if they’re positive or negative. If your needs aren’t being met you have no problem communicating it. You’re not aiming to be a people pleaser within this relationship but instead your most authentic self.

Future spouse within the relationship dynamic

channeled song - “ Alone tonight “

“ I don’t wanna be alone tonight, can you keep me company? “

“ My names known worldwide, still need someone in my life “

They’re older than you or they have more life experience or knowledge than you. They will play many roles within your relationship including your partner, protector and teacher. This is a very intellectually charged person. They’re already established within their long term career or pursuing it. They’re the more disciplined and structured individuals in the relationship. When it comes to making plans, scheduling trips or dates they’ll handle it. Look up airport couple on TikTok and you’ll get a glance into your relationship, you’ll turn off your brain in public and they’ll be the vigilant and focused ones. Another scenario I’m channeling for you is them taking you camping. I can imagine them guiding you to build the tent, teaching you how to start and maintain a fire, etc..

They will be the clean freak within the relationship. If you’re more disheveled or messy they’ll be stern about it lol. They will move quickly within the relationship. To you, they plan spontaneous dates but for them, it was already calculated and thought of days ahead of them communicating it. This person has a strong paternal/maternal instinct and it reflects itself in the relationship. They know exactly how to read you emotionally, soothe you, or show up for you way you need. It also shows in their protectiveness. They want to have your location and know your work schedule. This person's protectiveness to you is also because you represent a legacy to them, a new lineage, the chance to build their own family.

The overall energy of this dynamic that I’m channeling is

“ I can do it myself “

“ I know; but I want to do it for you “

PILE THREE

core energies: best-friends, lots of banter and bickering, US VS THE WORLD

Reader within the future relationship dynamic

( yall, I channeled these songs AFTER I did the reading and wrote everything down. CHANNELING THIS SONG WAS SO FUNNYYY TO ME 🤭🤭 the “playfighting “ I mentioned several times below was definitely confirmed lmaooo in no way am I condoning violence but im giggling )

channeled song - “ bust your kneecaps “

“ honey believe me, I have your heart on a platter”

“ they’ll bust your kneecaps, probably some other stuff too “

You try to overpower them. You’re constantly challenging them mentally or physically. You enjoy invoking a reaction from them, getting them super hype during debates or red in the face from play fighting. Prior to the relationship you didn’t like this person, they may have come across as egotistical or arrogant and it irritated you. The kind of person everyone likes and you’re just like “ yeeah okay whatever “. Somehow you two enter a partnership but I think you still have the energy of wanting to take them down a peg, not in a toxic way, moreso the way bestfriends bicker and check each other. That aside, you're very grounded within the relationship. You seem very down to earth, perhaps a humanist or an animal lover. You might have a cat lol. Your energy alone within the dynamic is a constant source of growth for you both. You balance out the love and tension well, dishing it out at the perfect moments. You get cuteness aggression with this person a lot, I think it’s the source for a lot of the banter between you both.

Future spouse within the relationship dynamic

channeled song - “ super shy “

“ I wanna go out with you, where you wanna go? “

“ You don’t even know my name do you? “

They are similar to you, but can be even more immature. They are childish and allow themselves to be free and youthful around you. Within the relationship they might be the reckless one, never scared to cause commotion or be a daredevil. They may have a lot of scars or get hurt easily from this lol. They’re super active, whether in sports or working out but they’ll want to include you in it. You might go on hikes or walks or nature trails with this person, be careful though because they’ll be the type to get you lost lol. They get off on the tension / debating within your relationship. Physical touch is their love language with you, and play fighting with them will be like the ultimate foreplay. They have a big family, friend group, or a lot of external energy around them. I say this because people are naturally drawn and charmed easily by your significant other. I think prior to the relationship you’ll be the one to see past all sweet and nice exterior and into their underlying mischievous side. They may seem like an angel in front of others but you can sense the deception within it, and in turn you don’t treat them like everyone else. This will catch their interest first about you, your seemingly detachment or dislike of them. They will pursue you and seek you out first because of your obvious dislike or disinterest in them and then realize how well you connect mentally.

Communication will flow naturally and honestly I'm getting a sort of telepathic bond between you both. Not literally, moreso you can read each other’s expressions and know what the other is thinking. They can look into your eyes and have an entire conversation with you. They’ll definitely encourage this “telepathic bond”, wanting you both to be in a bubble apart from everyone else.

They’ll honestly recognize you as themselves in another body, you two may think so similarly that you both see each other as extensions of the other if that makes sense. An example I’m channeling is

“ you’re the boy version of me”

“ no, you’re the girl version of me”

PILE FOUR

core energy: breaking barriers and social norms, establishing wealth, breaking generational curses

Reader within the relationship dynamic

channeled song- “ take me to church “

“ knows everybody’s disapproval, I should’ve worshipped her sooner “

“ my lovers got humor, she’s the giggle of the funeral”

You’re in a very successful energy within this relationship. Career wise you are independent and very productive, I channeled booked and busy to be exact. You have very ambitious energy within the relationship towards finances and establishing wealth, part of this is through a stable and healthy partnership. In the past you’ve lowered yourself to meet others levels, within this relationship you stand securely within your power. You wish to combine finances and wealth and build a sustainable legacy for your future generations to come. That aside, you seem to be the more extroverted one in this Dynamic. Even if you’re introverted, people are very fond of you. This will irritate your future spouse because they feel like people are constantly “ orbiting“ around you. You may have a lot of friends or social connections, or just a well known person. You may have a large social media following. People might even think you’re out of your future spouse's league in terms of appearances or finances but you understand that shallow and superficial standards won’t secure a healthy and flourishing life. I’m not getting your future spouse is unattractive, but something about them compared to you is different. They could be nerdier than you, alternative, super spiritual, etc, goth. You may have to defend this person and explain to others you’re not dating this individual for social norms, instead you’re securing a healthy partnership. You will recognize just how well you collaborate and vibe together on an emotional, spiritual and intellectual level. You’re not dating them for them to be your trophy wife/husband, but moreso a soulmate connection that exceeds society's standards. This may also be a same sex connection you’re in.

Future spouse within the relationship dynamic

channeled song - “ money trees “

“ love one of you bucket headed h*es? no way “

“ money trees is the perfect place for shade “

They’re very fulfilled within your relationship. They daydream about starting a family with you. They feel like no one knows you better than them, and it’s something that makes them feel special especially compared to other people around you. In the beginning stages of your relationship I’m seeing your future spouse in a competitive energy with your friends or maybe even family about who is closer to you. This may cause strife within your dynamic, jealous of the attention you give to others and scared of the attention you receive, sometimes making them question whether or not they’re good enough for you. You will realize this very early on in the relationship, recognizing that they put you on a pedestal. Unlike with other people, it may particularly bother you when your future spouse does, you don’t want them to romanticize you like others. You will share with them all the repulsive sides, flaws and shortcomings you have and you will be reborn again in their eyes. This will only make this person love you that much more. “ seeing what no one else gets to see “ is what I’m channeling from them. Your vulnerability will soothe any feelings of abandonment. They will know how special they are to you after you’ve let them see past your surface level and into the depths of who you truly are. This will make them arrogant within your dynamic about their spot in your life, no longer insecure. A random example I channeled is someone offering you a certain snack / food and your future spouse answering for you and telling them “ no, they’re allergic to so and so”. They’re like a walking encyclopedia of you . They know everyone’s connection with you doesn’t nearly go as deep as theirs. They’re a bit obsessive over you, strong Scorpio energy here. You will have a very watchful and observant partner, even when you think they’re not watching, trust me they are. I think prior to this relationship they knew you and liked you, but you didn’t know this. They give me the energy of someone getting into a relationship with their crush. They have tunnel vision when it comes to you, I don’t think anyone could ever tempt your future spouse.

—

[astrogossipp]

venus notes. 🩰

Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.

(comment down your venus sign & posts which you guys would like to see from my side in the future)

masterlist🪷

🩰 aries venus

Venus in Aries? Super passionate! Aries is all about passion and action, while Venus is love, beauty, and relationships. So, if you've got this combo, you're all in for fiery romance. You're into your partner big time, always wanting to keep things exciting and new. You might even be the one who starts things off. Quick to fall for someone, you dig that rush of feelings, especially if your crush gets all possessive. Yep, you can get obsessed too, thinking they're "the one". But sometimes, you pick the wrong ones, drawn to the drama. You dive in headfirst, but your passion fades fast if the fire ain't burning. You thrive on arguments or a partner who's a bit aggressive – it's just your style. Love's a thrill for you, so you act on impulse, not always taking it seriously. You're into the chase, but deep down, you want someone who's all in. You're attracted to ambitious, independent types, but in the relationship, you like to be the boss. Bold? Oh yeah! You'll straight-up tell your crush you're into them. Sure, you care about others, but yourself? That's priority. Sometimes, it causes issues in relationships, 'cause you fear losing your freedom. You'll find any excuse to be with your crush, even if it means dragging out a dry convo. Depending on how much you're into them, you might show your wild side early or play it cool. And when you're crushing, hygiene's on point, and you're dressing to impress. You won't admit your feelings outright, but you'll drop hints like crazy.

🩰 taurus venus

Venus in Taurus is renowned for instilling a profound sense of security, stability, and comfort. Individuals with this placement often take pleasure in savoring life's finer aspects, finding delight in material possessions and indulgences. Their relational and moral approach is frequently characterized as traditional or "old-fashioned". They tend to prioritize commitment and steadfastness in romantic connections, upholding conventional values in matters of love. Despite potentially limited romantic experience, those with Venus in Taurus display considerable wisdom in relationships. They exhibit a preference for actions over verbal expressions of affection, recognizing the unreliability of words at times. Their demonstrations of love are earnest and heartfelt, reflecting their belief in the significance of genuine affection. While they may refrain from overtly pursuing individuals they admire, they possess a magnetic allure that draws others toward them. Often possessing physical attractiveness themselves, they appreciate similar qualities in their partners, valuing aesthetics in relationships. Patience is a virtue for those with Venus in Taurus, as they are willing to await the arrival of a dependable, well-established partner. However, this patience can sometimes lead them to remain in unsatisfactory relationships or jobs due to concerns about financial security or other forms of stability. Despite their investment in relationships, individuals with this placement may harbor apprehensions about potential emotional hurt, which can result in them setting boundaries in love. Their cautious approach may deter them from readily reciprocating romantic advances, yet they remain dedicated once committed. They are drawn to ambitious individuals with financial stability, reflecting their own values and aspirations. While they maintain a private stance on their romantic interests, they are discerning in their choice of confidants. Fear of rejection and a desire to maintain a flawless image may occasionally hinder their pursuit of love, yet they persist in their quest for perfection in matters of the heart.

🩰 gemini venus

If your Venus is in Gemini, you're into folks who know how to talk the talk. You're all about people who are smooth talkers, good in social situations, and just plain smart. But sometimes, you get too caught up in what people say and forget to pay attention to what they do, which can cause some mix-ups. You're into exploring different kinds of beauty, art, and love styles, and you can find love in lots of places, not just with a partner. In fact, having a significant other isn't always at the top of your mind. You can be hot and cold in love, one day you're all about someone, the next they're not even on your radar. Commitment? It's not that you can't do it, but you're kinda wary of getting too deep. You like to keep things cool and smooth when you're into someone, remembering all those little details. You're after someone you can connect with on a brainy level, not just an emotional one. So yeah, you might seem a bit distant at times. But hey, you're charming as heck, so people are drawn to you. You're the friendly type, always ready to start a chat and get to know someone better. And when you're crushing, you want to be the one who makes them laugh, so watch out if someone else steals their attention! Before you get all chatty and flirty, though, you keep your feelings under wraps. Seriously, no one can tell you're into someone until you're ready to spill the beans. Gemini Venus adds a playful, fun vibe to your romantic life, and you're all about finding someone who can match your energy and keep things exciting. But deep down, you want more than just fun – you're looking for someone you can really connect with on a deeper level.

🩰 cancer venus

People with Venus in Cancer are super loving. When they fall for someone, they fall hard and fast. When they like someone, they're not subtle about it. They'll either come off as rude or super friendly, no in-between. But with their crush, they'll turn on the charm, trying to be adorable and impress them. They'll pay attention to every little detail and practice what to say in their head. They need lots of reassurance and security in relationships, or they'll feel unloved. But when they feel safe and loved, they're amazing partners. They remember every little thing about you, seriously, everything! Their love is powerful and nurturing. They'll do anything for the ones they care about, even if it means sacrificing for them. They crave deep connections and bonds with others, but they struggle to express their feelings because they're not used to being heard. They're sentimental beings, often getting lost in thoughts about past relationships. They're great at taking care of others, almost like a natural instinct. They have this motherly vibe that attracts people, especially kids. Sometimes they can get a bit too obsessed with the people they like, which can be intense. They're drawn to serious, protective types who make them feel safe. But if they're not into them back, it's like heartbreak city, and they'll go to extremes to win them over. If they settle down, they want stability and security. They're picky about who they fall for, but when they do, they're all in. They'll smother you with affection, wanting you to see how much they care. It's tough for them to spill their feelings, but if their crush is as stubborn as they are, they'll drop some major hints or just come clean. Patience and intuition are key when dealing with them!

🩰 leo venus

People with Venus in Leo are a tough nut to crack when it comes to commitment. They're all about knowing your value and what you bring to the table. If they don't see you giving them the love experience they crave, they're outta there. But watch out, they can fall for love bombs real quick. When someone showers them with attention, they eat it up, even if there are warning signs. They're elegant and charming, craving to be worshipped and adored. They want a partner who shows them off and takes pride in being with them. Winning them over? It's like a game, and they love the power trip. But in friendships, they're super generous and lovely. Sometimes they can come off as cocky, especially when they're trying to impress someone they fancy. But hey, they're great at planning epic dates and spoiling their partners. They're all about themselves too, soaking up compliments like a sponge. They might flirt with people they're not into just for kicks, which can lead to misunderstandings. But when they're truly in love, they're fiercely loyal and generous to a fault. They need someone with as much energy and zest for life as them to feel fulfilled. They're pretty decisive when it comes to their crushes. You'll know where you stand with them, no guessing games. Plus, they've got that magnetic charm that draws people in like moths to a flame. But here's the kicker: they can struggle with commitment issues. They're always chasing the next thrill, and if you don't measure up, they'll drop you like a hot potato. They'd rather start as friends or really get to know someone before diving in. And if they can't brag about you, it's game over. When they like someone, they're not shy about showing it. They'll playfully tease their crush to gauge their interest, and they've got a knack for remembering the little things. They might even go all out and buy them something special just because they mentioned wanting it.

🩰 virgo venus

People with Venus in Virgo can be real overthinkers when it comes to relationships. They nitpick and find flaws where there might not even be any. They're after partners who are genuinely interested in them, who notice the little things about them that they might miss. Remembering tiny details about them? That's a big win. They're all about providing for their significant other, creating stability and order in their relationships. They're not in a rush to fall in love 'cause they're pretty cool flying solo. But don't get it twisted, they're not against relationships, they just need to see the value in it. They're like detectives when it comes to the people they like, studying them inside and out to understand their feelings. They're not the most romantic folks, but they're all about giving you the kind of love that suits you best. They're pretty savvy when it comes to love, relationships, and money. They've got high standards and are picky about who they like. They want to feel special and seen by their partner. They might attract a lot of attention, but catching the eye of someone they're into? That's a whole different story. They've got a playful side, enjoying simple and elegant things. If they're not starting off as friends with their crush, it's probably not gonna go anywhere. They're all about testing loyalty before diving into anything serious. They'll get shy around their crush but will jump at any chance to help them out, just to show they care. They might seem a bit confusing, giving mixed signals, but they're just playing it cool. They won't chase after their crush forever, though. These folks know their worth. Physical touch is their love language, so don't be surprised if they're always trying to playfully wrestle with you or lend a hand. They'll take any chance they get to chat with their crush, even if it means asking to partner up for a project. If their crush can meet their needs as a friend, they'll quickly start imagining a romantic future together. But remember, with these folks, slow and steady wins the race.

🩰 libra venus

Alright, let's dive in! Libra Venus folks are like straight out of a romance novel, smooth talkers and super dreamy. They're total eye candy, but sometimes they hold back 'cause they're scared of looking too soft. Even though they might play it cool, they're secretly love gurus. Seriously, they've got this knack for loving people just right, like they've got a playbook or something. They're suckers for romantic flicks and dream of being treated like royalty. They just want to know their partner's head over heels for them. And they're not stingy with affection either, they'll spoil you rotten. But here's the thing: they're hopeless romantics. They love to flirt, but when they find someone who really lights their fire, they're all in. Love's their main motivation, and they're all about keeping things fair and making sure everyone feels seen. But sometimes, they need a little extra validation themselves to feel secure, which can make them clingy. They've got killer style, and even if they don't, they can rock any look. They're all about making others happy, sometimes to a fault. They dig people who can flirt back, have killer fashion sense, and are down for whatever. Libra Venus folks aren't about taking it slow. They're all about diving headfirst into the action. When they're into someone, they're not shy about it. They'll crack jokes about being together and go all out to win their crush over. They're big daydreamers, always picturing their crush in different scenarios. And they're not afraid to shoot their shot, even if it means embarrassing themselves a bit. If they're not sure about their feelings, they'll keep it under wraps until they figure it out. They're all about cheesy pick-up lines and making their crush smile. They'll do whatever it takes to win them over, even if it means biting their lip and winking. And if their crush shows interest back, get ready for some serious blushing!

🩰 scorpio venus

Alright, let's break it down. People with Scorpio Venus might have a thing for the wrong crowd because they're not feeling too confident. They can latch onto someone real quick and get super intense about it, but they're not easy catches themselves. It takes them a hot minute to decide if they're in it for the long haul, but once they commit, they're in it for life. They've got this mysterious, captivating vibe that draws folks in like magnets. They're all about passion in relationships and they want someone who's all in. Plus, they've got this knack for attracting romantic attention without even trying. But watch out, they can get a bit possessive 'cause once they're into someone, they're all in. They want to be needed by their partner, and they're not big on sharing. They might be into people who are open-minded and don't judge, 'cause they're not big on sharing their feelings. Or they might dig someone who's just as mysterious and seductive as they are. They need friends they can trust, and they're drawn to darker colors like black. They're not big on PDA, but they've definitely got some serious sex appeal. These folks ride a rollercoaster of emotions when they've got a crush. One minute, they're head over heels, the next, they're kicking themselves for catching feelings again. They won't make the first move unless they're sure their crush is into them too. If they do start talking to their crush, they'll try to play it cool at first, but once things are official, they're all about that energy and excitement. They're suckers for old-school romance and passion.

🩰 sagittarius venus

Okay, let's break it down. These folks are total jokesters and love cracking people up, but they can also be a bit wishy-washy when it comes to their feelings for someone. They might dig folks who are a bit obsessed with them, but they also get a kick out of charming people who play hard to get. They're on the lookout for that one special someone who really catches their eye. And let's be real, they can be a bit full of themselves, especially when it comes to love. But hey, it's all part of their charm, right? When they're in love, they're all about having a good time and going on adventures. They might be down for commitment, but they're cautious about who they commit to. They need a partner who's just as fun-loving as they are, otherwise, they'll get bored real quick. They crave that thrill of love and might act on impulse when they're feeling it. They hate feeling tied down and want to keep their freedom because, at the end of the day, they belong to themselves. They're not big on emotions or emotional people, but they do want that passionate love, even if they're not ready to commit to it fully. They're drawn to independent, fun-loving folks who have a bit of influence or power. Their feelings come and go like the wind, and they can be sensitive to rejection sometimes. They'd rather chill with their friends than deal with lovers 'cause friends give them more freedom. They'll show you they care by making a big deal out of the things they think are important. They might even be open to exploring different kinds of relationships, like open ones. And yeah, men with Sagittarius Venus tend to have a thing for women from other countries.

🩰 capricorn venus

Alright, let's simplify this. So, folks with a Capricorn Venus aren't big on showing their feelings openly. They're more about investing in the relationship for the long haul. They like to feel needed and show love in practical ways, like providing security and stability.They're super loyal but can get jittery if things don't feel stable. They're not great at expressing their need for care and nurturing, but they crave it deep down.When they find someone they're serious about, they're all in. They can come off as a bit blunt sometimes, but that's just their style. They're into classy, professional vibes, and they've got a secret, wild side, especially in the bedroom.They can be a tad controlling and protective when they're into someone. They're not the type to shout their crush from the rooftops, though. They keep it on the down-low or share it with close pals.Rejection hits them hard, and they might get cold and distant. They attract a lot of friends who crush on them, but they're all about impressing their main squeeze. They'll drop everything to be there for their crush, even if it means ditching their own plans.They're not shy and will chat up a storm. Body language is big for them, and they're social butterflies who also enjoy their alone time.Spirituality is a big deal for them, and they can seem a bit distant sometimes. They're not into clingy or flighty types; they dig someone strong and independent. Their soft side only comes out when they feel totally safe and secure.

🩰 aquarius venus

These folks are pretty one-of-a-kind when it comes to love. They're into quirky and unique people, so if you're not a bit "weird," they might not be into you romantically. They're also super straightforward—they'll tell you exactly how they feel. Sometimes, they're a bit hesitant about love, but deep down, they really want it. They're more logical than emotional, which helps them see the truth in relationships. They're attracted to folks who like them for who they are, inside and out. They enjoy being with friends more than lovers and might even fall for their pals sometimes. They really value their individuality and freedom to be themselves. They can be a bit attention-seeking, but once they find the right person, they're good. They rock platform boots and oversized shirts like nobody's business! They're huge daydreamers and love learning everything about their crushes. Starting as friends is cool with them, but it's not a must. They're the type to get super excited over a simple "Good morning" text from their crush. Just remember, their crushes come and go, so be your unique self to catch their eye. They're not into superficial stuff when it comes to attraction, especially if there are no issues in their chart.

🩰 pisces venus

These folks have this whole picture in their head of what their ideal partner should be like—how they act, everything. But if reality doesn't match their fantasy, they can lose interest real quick. They're big on romance, sensitive, stable, and love creativity. They want someone who can handle a relationship but also has a bit of chaos in them. When they love, they really go all in, even to the point of sacrificing themselves. But sometimes they end up giving their love to the wrong people. They're used to attracting the wrong types because they don't realize they deserve better. They're into spiritual stuff like crystals and incense, and when they're in love, they can act all childish. Logic goes out the window when they're in love—they miss red flags because they're too focused on their ideal traits. They're also super generous, even if they can't afford it. They're great listeners and really empathize with their loved ones' problems. They might crush on someone just because they're good-looking or fit their fantasy. But when reality hits, they can turn cold real fast. They're always on the lookout for that one perfect soulmate. Pisces Venus folks are the ultimate hopeless romantics. They're always dreaming about their perfect love story, which sometimes leads them to ignore warning signs. They're all about putting others before themselves and seeking that deep spiritual connection with their partner. Being sensitive souls, they can really understand what's going on beneath the surface in a relationship.

this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.

pics by @i04rei

[acid-ixx]

mild spoilers for chapter six for my series again &. again, but i really feel the need to ramble about this, and i'd love to hear anybody's opinion on this hehe.

as i write outline chapter six (and write for chapter five), i'd like to say i couldn't wait to write the reader's face reveal in bruce's perspective. and it's not just angst, for me, this plays a very pivotal turn for the series— because bruce will spiral to insanity.

to never once see a single portrait of your second youngest child, whose presence has long been erased from the manor, not a single image, nor trace of you is sickening to the heart, even if he scours through the internet day and night for a single memoir of you, nothing— but to find your portrait in alfred's living quarters and seeing you for the first time in forever? graduating a milestone no less?

god, he's in for a ride just analyzing every aspect of your physical appearance.

the color of your eyes, the shape of your nose, the quip of your mouth, the fat in your cheeks; even the length of your lashes! god, does he brand it into the deepest parts of his mind to never forget you anymore. his pearl, his treasure.

the longer he stares, the more he notices and gazes even more, obsessive as he stands lonesome in the room with every bone in his body locking up, his eyes unable to look away from the portrait that showcases his baby child.

and there, there it is that he concludes a detail so small it's unrecognizable for someone who's seen it for his entire life; yet it's all the same triggered deranged emotions deep within him.

— you don't just share him and your mother's traits, no, your smile is also reminiscent of his mother's.

martha wayne, who'd died in his arms, laying in a pool of her blood with a bullet grazed deep inside her body. his loving mother, who caressed his face whenever he'd cry from his nightmares, who'd shown him motherly love that until now he still craves.

she died with her pearl necklace that once decorated her porcelain neck spilling to the ground and stained with crimson.

you wore pearl earrings on your graduation.

the thought alone is enough for him to just snap.

this? this is the child that he's been neglecting far too long? who shares the same, loving expression of his mother's? his child? not even a single memory could be conjured with you but fantasies now do. if your happiest moments were within the picture frame that he holds with shivering fingers at present; could your smile be any wider if you'd be with him?

how come he never once noticed? why is bruce always destined to fail left and right? why, just why is he brimming with jealousy for all the people who must've seen your smile before him, and contempt for himself that he was never there to pick you up from the police station beforehand?

bruce isn't a heckler for favoritism, but a darker part of him is motivated to take you away from wherever you are, and to never let anybody else witness his beautiful, little treasure.

he's gotham's knight, first and foremost. but he's a father, too, with goals to protect his children just like a father should.

and the things he'd do for you, his child, now? anything.

if it means he has to see that smile, then he'll turn the world upside-down.

he has to protect your smile.

[8housevenus]

chiron through the houses

hii, i'll be going over what chiron represents in each of the houses. chiron represents the area where we tend to struggle with the most, need to heal the most, and feel most hardship with. depending on how your chiron is aspected and where it is placed can entail this to you.

(also sorry for the inactivity life's crayz)

chiron in 1st - these people will deal with insecurities from a young age. usually something regarding their appearance and overall presentation. has poor self-esteem issues, body dysmorphia, inability to recognize their full potentials. people with chiron in the 1st house struggles with maintaining their power in their environments. they view themselves as their biggest enemy. can lead to them having envy towards others, feeling the need to work twice as hard, and feeling unnoticed or recognized for all the wrong things. they feel misrepresented and fear that everything they work for and accomplish means nothing if they cannot associate the energy to the body. they are very mindful, conscious; however they can be too overly aware that they begin to become delusional and biased to their own negative thinking. these people heal through helping others, as they've been with an internal battle towards themselves since youth. these people can sympathize easier with others and bring a comfortable energy, healing energy. unfortunately for them though, their biggest demise is their inability to recognize that their flaws are normal and they are beautiful mentally, spiritually, and physically once they overcome this burden.

chiron in 2nd - these people have a hard time finding their overall aesthetic, the things that they can attach themselves to, the way they can finally represent themselves. usually, they find themselves leeching off others to fit in. they might have grown up not having what other people around them had, which can make them jealous, or overtime become stingy with their belongings. these people switch their style often according to the fashion, and might have been bullied for things they wore, their home, or their expression. chiron in 2nd can have a habit of becoming very materialistic once the comparisons worsen. this placement can make for a very good work ethic; however it can lead to their demise trying to constantly be just like everyone else. their biggest fear is exclusion and missing out from the rest of the world. the way these people can heal from this is to accept their lifestyle as is, and not to shame their upbringing. as they get older it usually becomes less of a problem, but here and there it can lead to an "over-perfectionist" attitude which will leave tension for as long as they have this habit.

chiron in 3rd - these people will have a difficult time trying to vocalize their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. often feels invisible when voicing their opinions, invisible sometimes. they feel that they are silenced and ignored far too much. can make them feel depressed, lonely, or lack a social life. might also have a hard time concentrating on tasks, or always feeling hazy about unrelated things. there's so much that goes through these people's minds, but they never communicate it because they feel like they are going to be dismissed anyway. they have a passive communication style which can result to them feeling powerless often. these people need to learn how to advocate for themselves and stand up to express it. the challenging part for these people will be the lack of confidence, get yourself out there first and then become comfortable overtime, it can help tremendously. these people learn when it is too late for them, getting speech therapy, developing new bonds, can all help this person get over this fear of being dimmed.

chiron in 4th - the biggest struggle you will face will be with your family life. at home you feel restless, damaged, and traumatized. there's a lack of foundation or love from parents, siblings, relatives, where you have felt disconnected. could have dealt with abuse- physical, mental, emotional, and changed your perception of trust and made it hard for you to find comfort in your public life. your chiron might directly oppose your midheaven, which if that is the case you will probably deal with family members that paint you to be someone you're not, or can mess with your career and future negatively. these people feel a lack of security and worries of being abandoned or sends their love to all the wrong places. lots of emotional repression will keep these people in a burden. it is important for these people to realize that to break away from this chain they need to forgive and excel. accept the damage and be extremely careful of people who might take advantage of your emotional wellbeing. do not be easily swayed by false promises, or people who move fast with you, establish long and trust worthy connections to heal from your traumas.

chiron in 5th - you had a repressing childhood, this made you feel like an off-putting kid at times, felt that you never had a chance to shine, or your talents were dismissed by others. anytime you wanted to express all your desires, they made it seem like it was unattainable, and that your imagination was far too big for the things you could achieve. probably also villainized by parents who didn't understand your need for freedom and viewed it as rebellious. felt like others could have fun apart from you. felt detached from a young age from not being able to put all your energy into something that you were genuinely interested. made fun of for your confidence, or your expression. can also represent some childhood trauma from parents, even friends. you might have looked at other kids a lot and envied them for being more "popular" than you. as these people get older, chiron in 5th people will still deal with comments that they don't have what it takes to pursue their goals, or that they are given less chances than others. to heal from these things, chiron in 5th must let go of misconceptions others have on them and go for what their heart desires most. channel your confidence through your talents and let it speak for itself.

chiron in 6th - similar to chiron in 1st, these people can deal with body dysmorphia and self-image issues. however, their biggest struggle is their health overall. they may feel overly stressed, overly unfit, overly lazy, etc. they will have a tendency to over analyze the normal things they deal with. they are perfectionists, want everything to be exactly how they plan. if somethings don't go as planned, they fear that they aren't good enough and that they've ruined everything they have worked for. can have a bad outlook on eating, exercising, and working if they let their self-esteem issues become a burden. does not take criticism lightly even if it is constructive, doesn't like to be commented on regarding their routines and work ethics. they have great determination and ambition, but this can lead to an unhealthy burn out. they are their biggest critics, and they must succumb to realize that their patterns of overly repetitive behaviors need to be minimized. physical health is important, but so is your mental health. they tend to blur these two and forget that they must feel good inside to feel good outside. shift focus onto positive things about yourself, dramatic and good changes can com from it.

chiron in 7th - this doesn't necessarily mean these people have a hard time in relationships, but they feel unfulfilled when they are in one. they are committed and devoted, until they feel their partner has betrayed them in some way- it is easy for these people to feel betrayed. might deal with excessive legal issues- many tickets, court dates, divorces/marriages, documents, identity theft, list goes on. they hate feeling forced and shaped by others. they typically feel insecure that their partner doesn't appreciate them enough, and that they must change for them. they go through relationships like it's a bump in the road- not because they don't care, but because they genuinely feel their heart deserves to be in better hands than the ones that have dealt with it. this person can either be very slow or very fast in relationships. they prefer a slower relationship where there is mutual understanding and consistent appreciation. but once this is not reciprocated or balanced, chiron will seek out some other form of love and this can strain connections. they must learn to be fair and listen equally to their partners, avoid judgement right away and emphasize being graceful even through tough times of people doing them dirty.

chiron in 8th - has a hard time connecting to their shadow self. feels they have dealt with too much, that they would rather just leave it unacknowledged. however, it lingers to them everywhere they go actually. they read people and have hypersensitivity to settings. these people have a hard time processing change, life-death, anything transformative, this person fears the unknown. they fear that if they tap too deep into themselves that they will not like the things they find. sometimes it is hard for them to connect with others on a deep level because they are scared of intimacy, there's a struggle with filling their voids and go through all their dark times alone. they carry a weight of shame because they feel that it is somehow deserved for them to feel trapped into their darkness. the biggest thing these people need to realize is that fighting their inner-self makes a bad situation already worse. do not be afraid to discover yourself, restart if you have to, life is meant for you to go above and beyond for yourself and not just others. once you start listening to yourself, you can discern your negative emotional patterns and finally stop holding it in. many of your creative blockages come from simply holding back. stop resisting the new discoveries and embrace them.

chiron in 9th house - on a spiritual/religious level, you feel that you are choosing the wrong things for yourself. this usually stems from a lack of freedom. you might have been raised into a very religious household and held on to remnants of it as you got older, but never really questioned it until you grew up. can feel that you are sometimes stuck in the same place for too long, you rely on life carrying you instead of yourself. you stop prioritizing the role you play in YOUR life, and instead expect other things to come and save you. you find yourself living in "auto-pilot" a little too much. you only play it safe because it is all you know, do not be afraid to take risks and question everything. go to different locations, travel, study philosophies, religions, learn more. be abundant in your morals. sometimes you can feel that you are a bystander in your own life or that you keep yourself in this shadow because you haven't tapped into it yet. your biggest fear is not knowing, or seeming like an "air-head," as you get older this becomes less prevalent, as you have experienced much of life, however, do not be afraid to experience things because you can heal yourself and others while trying new things. make sure you are firm in everything you believe in.

chiron in 10th - these people can be ridiculed for their professions, or in their professions. workplace might feel toxic to you, usually chiron in 10th will experience these issues later on in life. feels that they cannot properly express themselves in the field they want or aren't sure of the field they want to go into. often, they can feel misguided by people in their lives swaying them to go after something that doesn't quite click with you. can lack immense confidence in starting their own business, developing work connections, or even working at all. they might overly work to compensate for other areas of their life which they struggle with. you might clash heads with people at your job, be perceived as uncertain or unwilling. you might feel that you stick out like a sore thumb amongst the others. you notice that you do a lot for less in return. biggest thing for these people to realize is they owe nobody nothing, keeping a clean attitude and a consistent drive is enough for them to be successful. as long as you maintain good spirit with others and don't allow room for petty gossip, your career and idolized life can be just how you like it. you must learn to let go of this vision of feeling less than your peers.

chiron in 11th - feels out of place, oftentimes does not "fit in" with the crowd and doesn't bother to. this can sometimes lead to an overly isolated personality. for the chiron in 11th, this can be unhealthy and lead to an avoidant mentality. probably dealt with many problems relating their bonds all throughout their lives, and eventually stopped caring to meet others expectation. felt like the odd one out, never felt that they shared the same morals or mindset as the people around them. usually keeps a very small circle and it is probably with creative partners like through their work life. bullied for being different, being more problem-solving than drown in misery kind, and not expressing themselves the same as their fellow peers. they have an ability to understand others who feel the same exact way, they love depth and relatability, however had a hard time finding this in others. loves to question norms, loves to feel accepted by people who also come with some damage. these people need people who can take them as they are and not question their differences. they felt shamed for this while they were younger, but as they get older, they realize it doesn't matter what others think. being different is your biggest lesson that you gradually had to accept, and once you have then you will feel less insecure to take on all your goals.

chiron in 12th - spiritually wounded, hard time with understanding what you are feeling. hard to make sense of why you feel the way you do sometimes, often leads to lash outs, breakdowns, insomnia, difficulty with the unknown as well. biggest fear is feeling uncertain with their instincts. bullied for their maturity or not meeting up to expectations people had on your when you were younger. often expecting you to know everything when you don't. experience severe withdrawals when facing pressure and hides behind facades to seem like it doesn't deeply affect them. often gullible to the words of others because their own words feel faint to them. feels incapable of their power, feels that they are not enough to hold judgement that is useful. fears of being alone, usually clings onto the company of others due to the hardship they face with being alone with their thoughts. has reoccurring nightmares, envisions things that aren't happening in real-time, feels that they are suffering on the inside to the point where it leaves them in depressive cycles. the most important thing for chiron in 12th to remember is that nobody is above or below them- in terms of your power it is always with you. just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. trust your judgements more-even if you are wrong. you lack experimenting with the little things sometimes, do not fall into an endless cycle of self-destruct, remember that you can make your fears work for you. figure out why you default-ly feel such a lack of security in the base of your mind. you are prone to stressing about things long before they happen, be present and collected.

thank u for reading, appreciate that you have made it this far. remember, that you are beautiful in your own skin and everything about you is completely fine the way it is. if these haven't applied to you then that is totally okay and i hope ease for these aspects of your life <3.

[120189hearted]

#1 Astrology Observations. "We have two ears and one mouth, to listen more and to speak less." - Zeno of Citium (c. 334 - c. 262 BCE, stoic philosopher)

Jupiter in the 6H may have problems with health a lot, chaotic health and disordered eating may become a problem too.

Uranus in the 7H may change their relationships quite often and as a consequence, these individuals may struggle with commitments. These natives may also be interested or attract people who are out of the ordinary.

Moon in the 8H can mean that childhood wasn't easy, someone may have seen or gone through traumatic experiences. Native may have an emotionally or physically absent mother as well, can apply to orphans too. Trauma related to female figures.

Saturn in detriment or negative aspects could make the native experience problems with hair, teeth, bones and nails. This could also depend on which house it is in, for example: Saturn in 4H/Cancer Native may experience pain around the ribcage more often, Saturn in 5H/Leo Native may experience hair loss or other hair related problems. (The effects may be softened if Saturn isn't harshly aspected)

Lilith in Libra people may dislike you but "like" you based on what house it is in, for example: Lilith in Libra 1H You attract people but they want to hang out with you only because you may look beautiful to them, or because of how glamourous your life may seem to them, so they may secretly envy you for that. Lilith in Libra 10H People want to be like you so could be jealous of you because of your public status, job and achievements, could even be jealous of your boyfriend or father.

Natives with Pluto in the 12H are likely to experience paranormal activity.

A badly aspected Saturn /Jupiter in detriment or influenced by malefics in the 3H or 9H can make the native not very accepting of others' beliefs, not very willing to see from a different perspective, having fixed thinking.

With Moon square Saturn (or other Moon/Saturn aspects), it may be hard to express one's feelings, feeling reluctant in expression of emotions. May also have difficult relationship with the mother.

Saturn / Capricorn in the 12H might struggle with sleeping, hate and regret having sleeping issues or sleeping late, struggles with insomnia.

Well aspected / exalted Jupiter in the 9H has the potential of being a good teacher, judge or work related to foreign countries, or at least gain the wisdom of one if it's in positive aspects too. Natives with this placement might also go to study in another country.

Natives with Moon square Sun might have their parents separated or issues between their mother and father. People with this placement might also feel less tolerant of people with their opposite gender.

Saturn in the 2H may face financial instability, money is earned the hard way. Native can have rigid principles or suffer from insecurities and have a low sense of dignity. People with this placement also have a difficulty at keeping items, a tendency to lose things and having their things stolen or taken away from them often.

Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, Libra, Taurus, water signs in the 2H can be an indicator of a beautiful, flexible voice and natives are good with their voice, they have the potential to be or may become voice actors or singers.

Uranus in 10H could get recognition in an unusual way, or just happens to get famous because of a trivial thing, or something you didn't really expect to get popularity from. This placement can bring unexpected attention and fame.

Lilith or Sun opposite Moon can signify the native has/had a conservative or very religious mother who was pushy with her beliefs.

Sun in the 11H may have a father that wasn't all the time at home, missing a lot in your life or even absent, physically or emotionally. May be talking or hanging out more with others than you.

[pinkmoonastro]

Pluto through the houses: Synastry

1st: Both people have a way of prying under the skin of the other bringing all the insecurities they thought were hidden to the light. It can be almost jarring and abrasive. Even though its not intentional they pick up on it so naturally they probably didnt even know they hit a wound. This relationship may come about at a time when your self image and public persona is going through a change. Lying about that image can also be an issue here. Lying to protect how the other views your life. A lot of glamorization and intentional avoidant of details. These two can be mesmerized by the persona of each other. Pluto person is almost thirsty for the attention of house person. House person likes the attention but is much more nonchalant about it maybe even a little scared of plutos intensity. Their upbringing emotionally is similar but may not seem similar in the physical aspect of it. People could look at this couple as an odd pairing. It can seem taboo for one or both of them. You can tell that they were attracted to the darker aspect of each other. Its pluto so you know the power dynamics are being tested, pluto person is controlling over the house person. Sometimes that could be to extreme extents. They want their full undivided attention always. If pluto person releases their grasp this can be a very powerful magnetic couple. Manifesting with ease through how others view them together.

2nd: Pluto person ''levels'' house person up, this could be financially or with plutos image but essentially both people add to each others persona. The flow is more natural if the woman or more feminine person is the house person. Wishful thinking could be a problem here because this is actually a very romantic placement. The way love is expressed if very comforting and ideal for both people. Theres a mutual taste in the type things you enjoy so it becomes easy to believe you might not get this somewhere else. The dates are very fun and the couple loves to show each other off. This is one of the easiest houses to create abundance in as a couple. Balancing work and love is an obstacle, if both parties aren't equally as committed to setting aside time together. It can easily become a situation were someone feels neglected. It takes a certain amount of emotional detachment to have a long lasting relationship with this placement. Id say this is a more subtle place for pluto to be it isnt as harsh as some of the others.

3rd: Challenging each others views is almost second nature. Both help each other think outside the box. Their perspectives usually differ quite a bit so it makes for interesting conversation. Pluto person redefines how house person approaches business and relationship matters, offering constructive criticism that the house person usually appreciates. This placement can be nice for an entrepreneur and their partner. Pluto person sees house persons gifts and wants to help refine it. House person teaches pluto person new ways of achieving goals. Too much focus could be on career matters and the relationship could be on and off one or both parties could make excuses for why the communication isn't consistent. One person can try harder to keep the relationship together the other avoiding emotional intimacy. When things are smooth they view each other as the ideal partner then the communication waivers again. Pluto person encourages house person to come out of their shell. If you have any fears about expressing yourself without guilt or shame. In its positive this relationship will help you feel comfortable being yourself without judgement.

4th: Pluto person reminds house person of family member usually a parent. For better or worse. These two came together to unlock something in each others DNA, realizing something about their worth or finding a new sense of gratitude. They mesh well into each other, operating like they've been together for years even if they just met. This connection could've been established through insecurities or for financial benefit. There could be insecurities around how much more money one person makes over the other or secretly competing with each other. This relationship could demand a lot of time and attention being distracting to the career of one or both parties. Or on the flip slide someone can feel unseen and lonely falling to the backside because of the career of the other. Emotionally there's a feeling of being unfulfilled like something is missing. House person views the pluto person as their ideal, perfect match even, The childhood of these two was similar. They share similar wounds around the upbringing. Others may look at this couple and think why are they together? They don't care how people view them they have an understanding between each other. They view each other as someone they would want to have a family with. They are very giving towards each other the energy balances well they know the unspoken things that would make you smile. They fit well into each others families. This person can feel like your calm space, enjoying spending time together at home.

5th: They both love children and can want to have a family together. If they have pets they treat each others pets like their own. They see the beauty in each other and want show their partner off to the world. They introduce each other to a lot of new people blending into each others friends group really well. Power struggles can create tension because they could feel like the other person plots on how to have power over the relationship.Pluto person has a lot of control over the emotions of house person. House person may try to play it cool but pluto has a hold of them. Pluto person wants to lead the relationship but house person may not be okay with that. Public arguments could be familiar to them. It doesn't even have to be an argument but people can tell when they aren't on the same page. They can try to make each other jealous when there out together. Its exciting to see each other worked up. House person could want more public affection so the jealously feels reassuring. This connection could've started at some sort of get together or the first few times they were around each other there were other people present. They could embarrass each other in public flirting with someone in public in the lower natures. This connection feels very familiar to both people. They could feel like siblings not in weird way lol but just the way they were raised and how they think, its very similar to each other. They have alot of fun together. It takes both people back to childhood. This could've started as just friends then turned into something more.

6th: Friends to lovers type of vibe. This match could've been unsuspecting. Knowing each other for a while but just now deciding to give love a go. Theres a lightheartedness about this connection. Both people are just seeing where it goes without pressure or expectations. No expectations may not be the best thing though, it may keep these two in a cycle of unknowing. They can feel like they manifested each other but question if their ready for what they asked for. Self worth issues play a big role here. Theres changes that need to be made internally to make this connection work but one or both people are reluctant to change. Holding onto the past wounds from relationships. Making the assumption that everyone is the same. The energy in this connection can be unbalanced. Someone feels they aren't good enough for the other or thats implied by the other person. Routine are a topic of conversation, they could feel insecure about how they spend free time and feel the need to lie about what they actually do or feel uncomfortable about always doing the same things. On the flip side they can give each other better physical and mental habits, showing more efficient ways to get things done. Living a more healthy lifestyle and thinking more positive. They love spending the morning together getting ready together. The type to make sure you've ate and check in just to see how your doing. They show love by being reliable. This is the type of couple that would discuss what their gonna wear so their outfits are similar. They could have a busy schedule and have to plan time together. Meeting up could always feel so exciting because of the timing factor. Teaching each other how to be honest about your needs and expectations could be hard but pluto is in the 6th house for a reason.

7th: Pluto person wants to show house person off to everyone. They feel like they really got a catch and wants everyone to see how special house person is their very proud to be with them. They want to invest in each other, bossing up each others aesthetic and or finances. In the lower octave the masculine energy fears the feminine is attracted to them mostly because of the money or gifts. The masculine can have insecurities around their worth so they lead with money but then still feel unloved because they led with materials. Both people couldve came into the relationship with insecurities about the physical body they make each other feel confident and dissolve the previous thoughts. They want the same things in life, sharing the same values. Be aware of the promises you make not getting carried away in excitement and not being able to uphold it. Or vise versa the actions are more important than the words. They could've meet on social media or in a work setting. Theirs interest around what each other do for work. Something about the career is attractive to the other. They bounce ideas off each other and help further their career advancement. Maybe even working together. They don't mind putting pressure on each other to maintain a level of structure and refinement. They watch your social media pages fantasizing about the two of you together. Also something about the way this person dresses you either love or you just want to dress them yourself.

8th: At first they could've found it hard to completely give into this connection and avoid true intimacy. Serious commitment is important for them they aren't into flings, they do things with a purpose. They view the relationship from a practical standpoint and analyze how this will contribute to their lives and how much they are willing to give to make it work. When the bond is proven to be strong they want to share their resources. They can give too much though then build resentments about not feeling the energy is being reciprocated. A lot goes unsaid, trust issues and resentments are lurking in the shadows. On the stingier side pluto person doesn't want to share their success with house person or they want house person to jump through hoops for it. They love sharing information with each other. This couple can be a mystery to others. They dont share much about their relationship preferring to keep things private. They notice the friends their partner has that dont have their best interest at heart. Self esteem and codependency issues could show face. The arguments they have are intense. Triggering unspoken insecurities in each other. This relationship builds the confidence of each person. Your a safe space for each other without judgement. On the flip side its important to focus on your own identity and not get to caught up in what your partner thinks. Change because thats what you want to do. Learning to relax and go with flow will do this couple well. Except that everything cant be planned and controlled. This placement creates a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship.

9th: These two share a lot of experiences together. They've been a lot of places together, been seen in a lot of rooms together, everyone knows that these two are together. People cant take their eyes of these two wanting to be in their business. This placement really makes me think of youtube couples.Transforming each other preparing for the spotlight. They really boost each others popularity. They love to be seen out together but that makes sense because they get alot of attention. They share a lot of similar interest and love to combine ideas. An example would be two musicians making songs together. Wounds of hyper independence makes being available and being of service something that really brings them closer together. Traveling together is really looked forward to. Traveling also doesn't have to be physical, a lot of mental shifts happen in this partnership. You really get to witness the growth in each other. In the lower natures the ego wars are strong here. Both people don't wanna feel like their submitting to the will of the other. They make each other chase, a lot. Outside influences cause a lot of friction in this relationship. Other people could know when their at odds with each other. Both like to go back and talk to friends or the internet about whats going on. The arguments are PETTYYYYY. They affect each others self esteem alot.

10th: Proud of each others public image, the work ethic and goals align. These two make a good team they share alot of similar ideas so they naturally go towards the same direction. Creating a business together could be a good idea. They look very aesthetically pleasing together and both know this, using it to their advantage whenever they can. This connection could be stop and go or have taken a while to really get off the ground. It seems there was always something else taking attention away from growing the spark. The more dominant energy could subtly restrict how much the other person expresses themselves. Power struggles and feelings of having to fight to have your opinion heard may present but thats the perfect time for them to assert their own beliefs. Which will always be respected in any healthy relationship. Putting on a brave face when things might not be so well is something that attention might need to be brought too. You cant have support if your not honest about your needs. The relationship could be different behind closed doors than what they present to the public. An example is seeming serious in public and maybe not that affectionate but much more goofy and relaxed at home. When traveling together may be a time frustrations really appear. One person could me more relaxed with how they do things and the other could prefer to have a schedule and routine in place. They could also want to do the same things but at different times. They feel a responsibility over each other, they stand up for each other.

11th: There is a lot of love to go around. Friendships, familial relationships and business relationships are equally as important as intimate relationships to this pair. This is a very busy couple that has hands in many points they both have hobbies or responsibilities that take up a lot their time. Double dates would be really fun for them. Doing physical activity together really grows this bond as well. Beware of how much money your spending when together. Yall like to have fun first and consider cost second. Trying new things together is something that really brings this couple closer. They love surprises and spontaneous dates. Both people are very good at vetting out potential partners their very particular about who they show interest in. The fact that you two came together you take the union serious and both require the stability of a solid foundation. This started as a friendship then grown to become more serious. You didnt expect to meet this person when you did. Meeting through other people, spontaneously or online. The friend groups of these two are different they can also come from different cultures or have different upbringings. In the lower natures someone could want to much freedom, they dont want to put ''tittles'' on the relationship. Favoring partying and keeping the vibe light and friendly. Pluto person could try to use house person as a status upgrade. Like the gateway to other groups of people. Im sure they would just call that networking though lol. This relationship can lack a long term vision. One or both people can feel like they aren't worthy of a ''normal'' functioning relationship. Preferring to keep things spontaneous when their actually just running from fear of the unknown.

12th: This couple manifest success together easily, people are intrigued by them. They give power couple vibes. Something is very alluring that brings alot of attention the magnetism has plutoian qualities. Others could think they'd like to have a relationship like this one. Thats from the outside though. Both people know how to keep private matters private. I think of public figures that want to uphold a certain image. These two idolize or romanticize each other, ignoring the obvious red flags. They can become very codependent on each other for emotional fulfillment. If their not on good terms it messes the whole day up. Breaking up to make up. Loving the passion that comes with it. Balancing work and the relationship may be something that has to be worked out. The arguments are very intense and passionate. There personalities start to merge into one, they start really sound, look and act alike. They give so selflessly to one another. They have dedication and patience to get through the challenging times. Their spirituality is developed through their love for one another. Experiencing things they haven't in any other relationship. Truly changed for the better. They understand each other like no one else ever has. They've both experienced something that was very specific and that bonded them. Its the 12th house so you know i have to mention addictions. Yes, this could be actual addiction to a substance but it can be an addiction over the career, belief system or relationship. An area in this persons life gets way more attention than the others. The belief system of these two can be different or started different.

Songs: i put a spell on you- Alice smith, haunted- Beyonce, sycamore tree- Kali uchis, boomerang- Yebba, something about us- Daft punk

[phoenixrisingastro]

Synastry Hot Takes: The Spicy Edition 🔥

When it comes to synastry, the stars don’t lie. Some connections sizzle with chemistry, while others leave you wondering if the universe is playing a joke. Here are some bold takes on synastry and aspects that might just explain why you can’t stop thinking about someone—or why they drive you absolutely insane.

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1. Venus-Pluto Aspects

If you have Venus-Pluto in synastry, good luck. This aspect will have you obsessing over someone at 2 a.m., scrolling through their Instagram, wondering why they’re suddenly your entire universe. It’s magnetic, transformative, and absolutely maddening.

Hot Take: Is it love or a karmic lesson in boundaries? Probably both.

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2. Mars-Uranus Aspects

Mars-Uranus synastry screams "instant attraction" with a side of unpredictability. This connection is electric—think whirlwind romance, sudden confessions, and "how did this happen so fast?" vibes.

Hot Take: It’s thrilling until one of you ghosts because the intensity was too much to handle.

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3. Moon-Mars Aspects

Emotional meets physical with Moon-Mars in synastry. The passion is off the charts, but so are the arguments. You’ll either be making up... or breaking up... every other week.

Hot Take: This is the ultimate "can’t live with them, can’t live without them" aspect.

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4. 12th House Synastry

When someone’s planets fall into your 12th house, it’s like they’ve stepped into your subconscious and started rearranging the furniture. The connection feels karmic, but it can also be confusing and heavy.

Hot Take: Is this soulmate energy or a psychological experiment? You’ll find out eventually (maybe).

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5. Mars-Pluto Aspects

This is raw, primal attraction that’s almost impossible to ignore. The chemistry is undeniable, but the power struggles? Intense. It’s the kind of connection that can feel addictive and destructive at the same time.

Hot Take: Mars-Pluto synastry is like playing with fire—and loving every second of it.

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6. Sun-Moon Aspects

In harmonious synastry, this is the “you complete me” aspect. In challenging synastry, it’s the “you don’t understand me at all” aspect. Either way, it’s impossible to ignore.

Hot Take: Sun-Moon connections are either soulmate energy or a masterclass in compromise.

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7. 8th House Synastry

Planets in the 8th house in synastry create a connection so intense it feels fated. The physical and emotional chemistry is unmatched, but the vulnerability can be overwhelming.

Hot Take: This is "I’ll never forget them" energy—but it might cost you your sanity.

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8. Mercury-Mercury Aspects

When Mercury synastry flows, the conversations never stop, and you feel like you’ve met your mental match. But if it’s in hard aspect, it’s just endless debates and miscommunications.

Hot Take: Intellectual foreplay or exhausting mind games—there’s no in-between.

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9. Venus-Mars Aspects

Venus-Mars synastry is all about sexual tension. The attraction is magnetic, but if the aspects are challenging, it can turn into a frustrating game of “who’s in control here?”

Hot Take: This is that “love-hate” energy everyone secretly craves.

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10. Saturn Synastry

Saturn synastry can feel heavy, but it’s what makes a connection last. It’s all about lessons, commitment, and (sometimes) karma. You either grow together or feel trapped in a cosmic lecture series.

Hot Take: Saturn synastry is the “parent” of the zodiac—strict, but it keeps you grounded.

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Which synastry aspect do you secretly love (or hate)? Share your stories below! 😉

[frownyalfred]

Clark: Kon's not my child! I'm not his father! I had nothing to do with the choice to bring him to the world- my DNA was STOLEN.

Bruce: ...Clark, that... doesn't change anything. I would know.

_

Seriously speaking, how do you feel about that specific aspect of Clark's characterization?

I think he and Bruce have more in common than he realizes, yeah. Both of them had to reckon with a child they didn’t know about. And for both of them, that child wasn’t a baby — Kon and Damian were both older! Already well on their way to being full adults.

But where they diverge is how they step up. I think it was easier for Bruce in many ways, in that he already had raised kids, already had that infrastructure in place both physically and mentally. And while learning so late about Damian was a betrayal by Talia in many ways, they coparent well from a distance — Damian isn’t caught between them often. They are civil. They both want what’s best for him.

Kon is a slightly different story. He was older, his other dad is Lex Luthor and that relationship is absolutely antagonistic. It’s not a betrayal simply because Clark at no point trusted Lex at all. And despite having the ability to do so…he does not react well, in most canon instances, to Kon’s initial appearance. He panics, he rejects him, and he cannot move past the fact that it happened at all. (Again, depends on the canon). Sometimes he recovers, sometimes it takes a while.

But yeah your point about Bruce above is absolutely spot on — it doesn’t matter how it happened, Clark. It just matters that it did. There’s now a kid depending on you. Like it or not. They’re blameless, too — they had no say in the matter either!

I’ve always wanted to write a fic where Bruce talks Clark through that — validates his hurt and still doesn’t allow his best friend to reject an innocent child. But he also lets Clark be human (heh), be vulnerable, be emotional in a space far away from Kon, because that’s important too. He needs to process in order to step up. Bruce had Alfred, and Dick, and other people to help him when Damian popped up. So Clark needs someone too. Expecting him to suck it up and be 100% perfect and accepting about Kon with 0 hesitation isn’t healthy either.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I see him in the back of my mind, all the time.

This fic came to me in a dream, woke up crying.

You couldn’t help but feel abandoned, left behind to deal with the onslaught of emotions all by yourself as your eyes remained firmly on where Viktor once was before the arcane consumed him whole.

The war was over but the hollow feeling within your chest only grew stronger when seeing loved ones reunite in fits of hysterical tears and bone crushing embraces, the lump in your throat got worse as the ache in your heart had something missing, someone missing that made it beat faster than normal. There was nothing Viktor left behind of his existence besides from his cane that you kept tightly clutched within your hand, mimicking the way he’d love tap the ground with it, as though you were trying to prove to no one in particular who cared that he still exists.

Silent tears seemed to flow endlessly down your cheeks as you wandered through the hallways of the Academy, and yet you felt numb, cold like you were already long dead and didn’t know it just yet as even your fingers felt cold to the touch, but you didn’t know whether that was from the biting cold wind or something else entirely. You didn’t care either as your reason for caring and for loving every aspect of life was taken away from you, taking your beating heart with him as he did and you didn’t know whether to hate him or love him even harder for giving you the best moments of your life, memories that seemed to all play out before you as you entered the now empty laboratory.

You could still hear the laughter and the scolding echo as though the walls with complex equations scrawled upon them had harboured the essence of the people who once worked diligently to the point of physical exhaustion. Your throat clenched again you delved deeper into the lab with one place in mind like you were being pulled towards it by an unseen force; Viktor’s workbench that had now upon closer inspection had a fine layer of dust settling over it, something he would’ve never let happen despite the tendency to leave his things scattered everywhere he pleased but still become cutely annoyed when he couldn’t find them.

However there seemed to be one thing that the dust refused to touch, a broach. Your brows furrowed as you looked at it confused, what was a broach doing in a place like this? It looked like it was made a while back but yet had a polish to it that made it seemed like it was made only recently. You knew Viktor didn’t wear broaches so seeing such an item on his workbench specifically was leaving you more questions then answers, questions that were soon answered when you noticed a small note underneath it, scrawled with Viktor’s usual chicken scratch writing;

‘For my dearest muse, for I will always be with you, always - Viktor.’

You clutched the cane tighter now as the pain within your chest almost made you collapse on the floor. This broach was for you. Viktor made it for you and never had the chance to give it to you, or perhaps he was waiting for the right moment to do so, but fate decided to be cruel and change the trajectory of your life for the worst; the common con when you happened to fall in love with a scientist determined to make a change. You sighed unevenly as you reach for the broach, your fingers closing over the cold metal of it while gingerly lifting it off the workbench, holding it up to your face so that you could take in the details of Viktor’s most beautiful creation.

The broach had a decent weight to it, not too light where you could easily crush it within your hand, but not too hard where it was proven difficult in your hand for prolonged periods of time. It was beautifully done as on the front of the broach was a an intricate design of a mechanical Blue Jay bird. You ran your thumb across the bird to feel the engravings that made it beneath your finger tips. The bird began to glow a vibrant blue, making you jolt a little, and the broach opened up to show it’s insides to you as a soft melody began to play from some hidden component within the broach.

The moment the first notes of the soft melody hits your ears the tears that had stilled in you moment of curiosity began to fall once more, this was the song that you had told Viktor once upon a time ago was your favourite, and so for him to make you this broach with your favourite bird on the front and your beloved song on the inside, you’ve never felt more loved by a man such as him. Yet you couldn’t run to him and kiss him senseless, not anymore, which made the broach itself a reminder that even if he was long gone you were the last thing on his mind.

‘Oh Viktor.’ Your voice came out weak as a sob broke from your lips as memories resurfaced as the melody continued its tune just for you.

…

‘Viktor!’ You burst in the lab, making him jolt as he looked over at you with what he wanted to be conveyed as annoyance but came across as a cute pout in your eyes.

‘My dear how often must I tell you not to burst in here so abruptly and without warning, what if something went wrong and you had gotten hurt.’ Viktor scolds as you merely shrug and moved over to his side to look over his shoulder, trying to see what he was working on, only for him to move it slightly away from your line of sight.

‘We’re both alive aren’t we?’ You said sarcastically and Viktor sighs as a small smile graced his lips as his amber eyes looked back at you with the warmth you always use to being greeted with. ‘You truly fear nothing my love but the next time you pull sometime like that you’re banned from entering the lab for the rest of the week.’ He says warningly as he points his wielding tool at you to emphasise his point.

You leaned over to kiss his forehead. ‘Duly noted my love but can I see what you’re working on? Or is it a secret for me to find later?’ You then ask as you once again tried to see what he was making, and once again Viktor move it away from your curious eyes, making you pout once more as you looked at him pleadingly.

Viktor sighs, your curiosity was never ending and while he would indulge you on his creations, he couldn’t do so for this one. This broach was his most ambitious project thus far and it was a project he has dedicated to you a long time ago the moment you both sat at the docks, hearing a harmonious melody within the wind as you admitted that it was your favourite.

It was that moment where Viktor decided to make something that you could keep on your being forever and thus project blue jay broach was underway. He was halfway done with it, all he had to do was finished wielding some components on the inside that would play the melody the moment the broach was opened, then he would move onto engraving the blue jay on the front as a final touch to a months long work in progress. ‘Practice your patience and you shall find out what it is soon enough my muse.’ He says softly as he kisses the back of your hand.

‘Alright keeps your secrets, I’ll find out sooner or later.’ You said as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Viktor raised a playful brow. ‘Is that a threat or a promise my muse?’ He asks.

You shrugged your shoulders. ‘Why not both.’ You said and Viktor laughs which makes you smile in response, feeling your chest warm as you looked at him, vowing to treasure this beautiful man for the rest of your life.

…

‘I know it’s not much but I wanted to make you something…I know it’s not the best but-‘

‘I love it my muse.’ Viktor starts as he takes the gift off of your hand, cradling it within his own as he looked over the amateur wielding and more so at the love and effort you’ve put into making this just for him.

You looked between him and the bird that you’ve made for him on a whim one day, wanting to repay him for loving you as he did in a way he’d recognise, even if you weren’t familiar with it you’d give it a try just to see him smile that gorgeous smile of his that made his amber eyes seem to brighten.

‘Really? You mean that?’ You asked and Viktor brushed his hand against your arm softly, stopping to hold your hand and squeeze it reassuringly.

‘Unequivocally my love. It possess a uniqueness that is undoubtedly yours and yours alone.’ He replies while pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

‘That’s a poetic way of saying that it’s made by an amateur who can barely wield shit without almost hurting themselves.’ You muttered under your breath as you rested your head against his shoulder. Viktor chuckles as he puts aside the mechanical bird on his workbench in order to hold you against him as he rests his head atop of yours.

‘If it’s any consolation it’s a well made creation for an amateur wielder.’ He says, smiling to himself when he hears you muffled groan. He wishes to stay like this forever if he could, just have you in his arms for all of eternity until that eternity fades to nothing, and it was just you two locked in the moment in the blanket of never ending darkness.

‘I hate you.’ You say.

‘I love you too my muse.’ Viktor replies as he presses a kiss to the side of your head.

…

‘Viktor?’ You asked.

‘Yes my love?’ He replies, looking at you.

‘Do you think we’re together in every universe?’ You then looked at him, finding him more beautiful than any star that hung in the sky before you.

Viktor makes a face full of thought before letting his hand find yours, squeezing it as he presses a kiss to the back of it. ‘Of course my love, for what would I be without you to be my muse, my confidant and my anchor.’ His face then becomes one of seriousness as he leans so that his forehead touches yours. ‘Do you believe that we’re together in every universe?’

‘Without a doubt.’ You answered back, kissing his lips. ‘I don’t think I could live in a reality where you don’t exist my beautiful Viktor.’ You add as you started deeply into his amber eyes, watching them soften in relief as Viktor reciprocated your kiss with one of his own.

‘What a coincidence I was thinking the exact same thing my muse.’ Viktor whispers softly to you as he kisses you once more. You held the back of his head to keep him close as the stars watched you both display your love for one another in the most innocent way possible.

…

Mel wondered down the hallway but as she was about to pass the lab, she heard the soft melody coming from it and stopped to peek through the open doorway. Sat fast asleep on Viktor’s chair, body splayed uncomfortably across his dust covered workbench, was you and she couldn’t help but smile sympathetically for you, after all you had just lost the love of your life before your very eyes and with no plausible way of getting him back.

What was making the melody Mel did find as her eyes landed on the open broach within your hand, Viktor’s final gift to you as it hummed the melody for the fifth time. It was a beautiful song Mel thought to herself as she moved next to you, resting her hand over your shoulder as she heard you softly mutter in your sleep. ‘I’m sorry Viktor. I love you.’

‘I know he loves you too.’ Mel replied as she reached over and closed the broach in your hand, seeing the mechanical engraving on the cover as she did so before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, wanting nothing more then let you sleep and be with Viktor in the land of dreams as she moved to walk back out the door. Mel looks back at you once more and in a moment of nostalgia overcame her she saw Viktor sleeping in that very chair instead of you. He was clutching his cane the same way you did and in that moment it looked as though your hands were touching; together intertwined in the smallest of things.

Viktor would always be with you, always.