#Not in a like fading away way where they wish we didnt drift apart

[sleepyagent]

Maybe suicide is like any task with no definite deadline to me. I keep procrastinating.

[akascow]

oikawa lays in his bed staring at the ceiling

he groans and burries his face under his hands

fuck

he feels sick to his stomach

i have to break up with him

he and iwaizumi had been together for all of highschool, their first year into college in two separate countries trying to convince themselves that long distance can work

and it did

for a little

but as all things come to an end, so too, oikawa realized, will this

he loves iwaizumi, truely and deeply, but it seems as though theyd been drifting apart more and more, talking a lot less often than couples should, partly due to schedule conflicts, partly to just not engaging in as many conversations

hes never gonna talk to me again

they used to be able to talk about anything, and now ? nothing. its like they had nothing in common anymore and oikawa felt like he was just stringing iwaizumi along and he hated himself for it

hes gonna hate me

and oikawa felt as though the same love theyd kept for 4 years was wasting away, and it wasnt fair to iwaizumi for oikawa to keep up faces, though iwaizumi could probably tell anyways, he was always so good at reading oikawas mind, knowing when he wasnt being genuine

im such an asshole

but how was he supposed to break up with his boyfriend of 4 years, best friend of 15 ? things would never be the same again, and it was selfish of him to to wish theyd go back to normal. there was just no way.

but he cant keep this ruse up. it was unfair to the both of them.

i’ll just tell him when we meet up for the summer. such a dick move. but i cant bare do it over the phone, i’d never forgive myself for that

two green eyes stared back at him. once sparkling and bright, happy to see him again, but quickly fell dull upon being met with the look on his boyfriends face

he already knows doesnt he ?

he just blurted it out. and watched as hajime flinched with the confession. he could see the prickling tears forming in the others eyes.

fuck im the worst person on the planet

it was quiet, neither of them spoke. after some moments, hajime gained the words to say something. his breath hitched in his throat and his voice cracked;

‘okay tooru. just know i love you always’

and at that, he turned and walked away. oikawa hearing a small hiccup as the other became smaller in the distance

thats it ? thats all ?

no this didnt feel right. he wanted to run up and hold tight and never let go, never let his image fade from distance again. but his feet stay planted where he was, unable to move as he realized what he’d just done

this is what he wanted right ? right ? so why did it feel so wrong ? he knew he would feel guilty, but this feeling was something completely different. but words were already said and even if they tried again, this moment would weigh over them forever.

no i still love you hajime. i still love you so much iwaizumi hajime. please dont go please

though he said none of this, words trapped behind his teeth, tears coating his face. he watched the love of his life his best friend walk out of his life forever. the biggest mistake of his life he’ll soon regret day in and day out.

[deadpooly]

forgotten dreams and faded stars

for the @mcu-christmas-exchange

written for @padraigendragon, i combined a few of your prompts and went for an endgame fix it! i really hope i did alright and that you enjoy it! 

I had this queued but it didnt post because it turns out it was in my drafts. a lot went on at home and i got preoccupied and recently remembered that i didnt post your work so here it is!! I apologize for it being late, that is on me 100%

***

When Tony snapped his fingers, he really wasn't expecting anything other than immense pain and death.

And that is exactly what he got.

He snapped and as he felt his breathing get shorter and heart slow down, he watched Peter cry over him and Rhodey give him a sad smile. He listened as Pepper told him it would be alright and he really believes her for the rest of his ending life because he loves her so much.

Then he looks past her and sees the destroyed look on Steve’s face and wishes he had a bit longer to make some things right.

Well, whatever was left to make right. In between the five years they seemed to rebuild the bridge and strengthen it because their friendship became more solid as time grew on. They still had their cold moments but every time after they forgave each other, nothing seemed so bad to keep them apart.

So Tony watched his closet family cry while he drifts away and looks Steve in the eye one more time before he sees him fall to his knees and suddenly Tony’s soul drifts from his body.

It actually felt more like he was being torn from his body. It didn't hurt, it kind of tickled actually, but it's a better analogy than drifting.

Tony Stark loved analogies. Something that he could use to help others understand something bigger. They can be simplified or stretched out and they can be calm and kind or harsh and painful to listen to. But they all get the point across.

When Tony was finally ripped from his body he was still present. He saw his corpse lying a few feet from him but he stood there and watched the scene play out before him. There was a pulling on his very soul trying to tear him from the earth but there was a deep presence of mourning and denial that continued to drag him down. 

It wasn't Pepper. God he already misses her, but she had always respected his decisions regardless of how dumb they were. It wasn't his best friend who had already spent a lifetime with him. And it wasn't Peter who only had a few precious years to get to know Tony. The boy was already too familiar with loss. 

It was Steve. Tony could feel his soul pulling him toward the man who broke down onto his knees and nearly started crying over a won battle.

Tony just looked at Steve and the single tear that cleaned a path down his dirty face. 

He wishes he could go over there and wipe it off his face. He can't though.

He’s a ghost. And that's the easiest way he could put the situation that he is in. Stuck in a world he can't interact with.

***

The first thing Tony noticed was that his soul unconsciously followed Steve Rogers around everywhere. If Tony wanted to go somewhere else, he just couldn't. He was pretty much stuck next to Steve’s side until the man decided he was done mourning Tony Stark.

Steve would go to bed and Tony would be sitting on the floor beside the bedside hoping to fall asleep or entertain himself. Sometimes he fell asleep, other times he somehow still had nightmares.

He attended his funeral, he still doesn't actually know where his body is, but he stood by Steve’s side and luckily he could rest a hand on Peter’s shoulder as the boy cried. He saw Morgan and Pepper together and knew that they were strong and would be alright.

Tony sometimes would forget he’s actually a ghost and would accidentally talk to Steve as if he could hear him.

“Your shoes untied.” Tony snorted and then he remembered he wasn't technically among the living and would huff in annoyance. Steve however would sniff and bend over to tie his shoe as if he heard Tony.

Steve was painting in his room and the canvas was clean except for the short brushes of a light orange dabbed throughout the large frame. Tony couldn't guess what the main object was going to be so he sat on a nearby stool and watched Steve scrunch up his face as he tried to create an image with colors.

“Why are you so complicated?” Steve whispered to the canvas. His arm wasn't raised ready to brush but it was lowered in surrender and defeat. “I could never get you right.”

Tony got up off of the stool and walked over to the canvas and sighed a sad smile.

“You always over analyze, there's a bigger picture and your focusing on the small things, Steve.” Tony dragged a ghost hand over the painting and stared at Steve’s conflicted face. “It looks amazing Steve,” Tony tried to reassure Steve of his painting.

The painting was Tony holding the iron man helmet in a place that looked like an orange heaven.

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve said and Tony froze in place, but Steve still did not acknowledge his astral presence.

***

The day quickly approached where Steve had to return the stones about a week after the funeral. Tony totally forgot that there were death rocks sitting around that needed to be put back. Also, he noticed that the wait was caused by a new healthy and alive Hank Pym creating more particles. Tony watched Steve decline Sam’s help and give his goodbye to Barnes. Then while Tony was expecting to be left behind since he was not in possession of time travel equipment, the machine started and Tony was being dragged along with Steve.

***

First stop was going back to the camp in New Jersey back in the 70s Tony was pretty amused at how horrible Steve was at lying to try to get the stone back where it was, given that he actually didn't know where the tesseract was in the first place. 

Tony would tell him where to go but Steve would go the exact other way because being a ghost sucks. Steve was in a hallway with a bunch of doors which lead into peoples offices. Then Steve took the stairs to a lower level and walked around until he somehow found a science-y looking lab.

Steve was walking down the hall then an office door opened and he literally ran into one Peggy Carter.

Then Tony sighed in hopeless jealousy as he watched Steve begin to panic and fluster. Shit.

“Steve?” Peggy gasped but shook her head and blinked a couple of times.

There, right there was Peggy Carter and Tony could facepalm because he suddenly knew that this task was going to get drawn out longer than it needed to.

Steve was frozen, he couldn't move. There was a tinge of red on his cheeks and his eyes told Tony a story of longing that could make his ghostly heart nearly hurt.

“Yeah Peg?” Steve replied. It was simple but coming out of Steve’s mouth like that, it sounded like it repatched a hundred moments stolen from Steve and frozen out of Peggy’s grasp.

The disbelief was written all over Peggy’s face, and the dying hope was burning off of Steve’s.

Dumbass, we need to get out of here or a timeline might get created. Tony tried to whisper into Steve’s ear. It sounds harsh but Tony just might be a little cranky that Steve is paying attention to a past jewel more than he is to Tony. Not that he could pay attention to him.

“How are you here?” she asked, getting straight to the questions and looking for answers. Typical Peggy Carter.

“Long story, time travel.” Steve said as if that would explain anything. Tony rolled his eyes. “I may need you help.” he then pulled the space stone out of his pocket with his gloved hand and held it out towards Peggy. “This is the tesseract, earlier I came here and stole it and I need to put it back.”

“You what?” Peggy asked in disbelief. “You were already here?”

“Is it May right now?” 

“No, its June fifth, 1970. Howard just got back, should I get him?” Peggy took out a device that looked like an early phone but before she could do anything with it, Steve stopped her.

“No, no. I just need to know where the lab is.” Steve asked urgently, some people in lab coats walked by and Peggy dragged Steve to the side and Tony just stayed in the middle of the hallway watching Peggy and Steve interact. It was like a beautiful reunion scene in a romance movie where Tony suddenly no relation to the person he loved and all he could do was stand by and watch as the protagonist ran back to the past.

Steve was absolutely adorable when he blushed and Tony loved him so much for it.

At this point Tony just allowed himself to get dragged along with Steve’s body. He didn't listen to the conversations, because why would he? He’s dead it wouldn't really matter. He watched Steve blush and Peggy smile and he also watched the anxiety creep over Steve because he knew that this would last and he would have to leave. Nothing could stop the jealousy from flooding Tony and the mourning that clearly engulfed Steve all over again when the stone was put back and the two said their goodbyes.

The process, as Tony had predicted, was long and drawn out because of the bump in and all Tony could do was try not to listen to a private moment no matter how much he just wanted to drag Steve away.

The reality stone was fast. Quickly injected into one unsuspecting Jane Foster. Tony thought there was probably a better way to handle it rather than re-infecting one of earth's smartest scientists with a reality check. But Steve being Steve, he likes things put back the way they were.

The mind stone was quicker, Steve just stuck it in a case lying around the tower, which he broke into and actually spoke to Jarvis. But this only happened after Tony spent five minutes watching Steve mutter and disregard ideas to himself.

“Hey Jarvis?” Steve asked, his head looking up at the ceiling, Tony thought it was adorable.

“How may I assist you, Captain Rogers?” the clear voice answered. Tony smiled at the familiarity of the AI while a grin brightened Steve’s face. Tony’s heart tightened at the sight.

“I need to get this case to Tony.” Steve paused and took a breath. “But without interacting with him,” Steve paused, then decided that’s all he wanted to say.

“I have several different ways I am able to transport the case to Mr. Stark without physical contact.” 

“Thanks” Steve said in reply with a single tear streaming down his face, and Tony feeling like his celestial body is thrumming with energy. 

***

Time stone was as simple as a stop by the sanctum. And that was it. Before the old wizard lady stopped Steve and Tony from leaving.

“Mr. Rogers.” she said clearly catching his attention. “You may have to watch what you do, you never know who may be paying attention to your actions.” Tony froze and looked at the woman and waved and smiled when he got the slightest motion of a hand back.

“Still by your side Rogers.” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear when they started travelling to a new location.

***

All Steve did for the power stone was thrown it in its dog cage where he believes it was found, then he just left. 

Tony just scoffed at him and laughed because yeah, this shit is getting old and he just wants to go home.

***

Then came the soul stone.

***

The climb up the large mountain was long, it was suffering, and it was painful. For Steve. Tony just sort of awkwardly floated knowing that wherever Steve went, Tony would also go. And he was not complaining.

They reached the top and Steve took a minute to allow his legs to slightly rest and he pulled out the soul stone holding it in his bare palm. He stared at the stone and slowly began stepping forwards until a voice called out to them.

“Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers.”

Shit.

Steve straightened and pulled his shield out immediately pocketing the stone getting ready to pounce on the speaker.

“Anthony Stark, son of Maria and Howard Stark.”

Uh what?

Tony froze and Steve’s look darkened.

“Shmidt.”

“Ah, Captain Rogers. I'm afraid you have come to return the stone.” Shmidt said.

“Why are you here. You should be dead.” Steve asked urgently. “And why did you say that name?”

“I am just stating the names of those who are present, naive Captain.” the figure floated forward and the blood red skull stood out against its black hood. “All those years ago, when I seeked power disregarding the consequences, the punishment had delivered me here to guard the stone for all the many years to come.”

Steve swallowed uncomfortably and Tony wanted to reach out and tell him to leave the stone and escape.

“Have your punishments come to catch you yet Captain?” Shmidt asked, and Steve stepped forward and punched him right through the face. Except his hand passed through what he thought would be flesh.

“Face it captain, you cannot try to finish me anymore. I am not among the living, just as your friend beside you. I know what you came here to do.” Shmidt said before he faded out and Steve was left with the stone in his palm and one Tony Stark beside him.

“I want Tony back.” Steve whispered, his grip hard on the stone before he let it drop and he closed the helmet on and disappeared to the future.

Tony felt sick and then it all went black.

***

When Steve returned to the compound, he was alone besides Bruce, Sam and Bucky waiting there for him. He walked off of the platform and dropped onto one knee. Tears gathered into his eyes and his head was bowed.

Then there was noise and Steve blocked it out as he tried to greive, then there were warm arms being wrapped around him and he froze before looking up into the warm smile being given to him.

“Tony.” Steve breathed.

“Steve.” was all Tony said before he grabbed for Steve’s hand and kissed it, then Steve launched forward and embraced Tony like someones life depended on it.

“I was with you the whole time.” Tony told him.

“I felt you. I missed you more than I thought I would.” Steve replied. “I love you Tony.”

“You know what Steve?” Tony asked with his eyes rimming with tears. “I think I love you too.”

Their hands tightened together and Tony never felt more alive in Steve’s arms. 

[district9forstar1117]

Welcome Home

Pairing : Reader x San

Based on the lyrics Lovely - Billie & Khalid

Genre : Pure angst

Thought I found a way

Thought I found a way out (yeah)

You and San thought you could always find a way.

No matter good or bad you've always thought there's always a way out.

But this time not even darkness was on your side.

You both knew that you were drifting apart. Neither of you wanted to move on from where you are nor wanted to let go of each other.

You never wanted those dimples to disappear, his innocent smile was enough for you to make your day bright.

Even when you had no one, you had San. He was always there by your side, through thick & thin. But now, You were losing him too.

But you never go away(never go way)

So I guess I gotta stay now

No matter how much you tried to push away San, he kept coming back to you.

No matter what you did to stay away from him, but in the end he always finds a way back to you.

He doesn't want to leave you even though he knows eventually he would have to.

You know have no other choice but to stay with him when you exactly know that you'll both eventually fade away...

Maybe because you both were too beautiful to let go of each other.....

Oh I hope someday I'll make it out of here,

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years

San knew that one day he needs to come out of his place.

A place filled with dead memories which were once alive, broken promises & empty hopes.

He wanted to come out of his despair but the sadness engulfed him.

He knew that it would take a long time, but he knew he had to for you.

Need a place to hide,but I can't find one near

Wanna feel alive outside, I can fight my fear

You've tried to run away from your fear so did he;

You've pretend to overcome them

You've pretend to be okay

You've pretend that both of you aren't broken.

At last you were nothing but broken pieces of mirror .....

Since when have you been running away from your fear?

You both never knew that this day would come,

Maybe you did, Maybe you didn't acknowledge it, Maybe you never wanted to face the truth.

How long you've been hiding from the world despite your happiness ?

Since when have you both become so selfish that you wanted each other all to yourself knowing that staying together will make the situation much worse than it'll ever be.

But the truth is that you cannot fight..

Isn't it lovely, all alone?

Heart made of glass my mind of stone

Tear me to pieces, skin to bone

“ Isn't it lovely to be alone ?”, San said.

You recalled the time as he spoke to you.

“ What do you mean? ” you asked.

“ Isn't this lovely that we're alone together, away from the world, away from our pain, away from our worries , away from our fear, away from everyone but only us ”.

He said as you started tearing up, you knew that time would come for you..... for him.

No matter how much you both tried to forget your pain, at the end you had to give up.

His heart was now like a thin frame of glass ready to break any time , but his mind was like a stone. He didnt know what he was doing to you & him.

“I'm glad to have you in my life Y/N, you've always been my world, my strength, my weakness, my happiness, my fear and you still are”. He gave a small chuckle and continued,“I don't know what I'm doing but I just want you to know that I love you”.

You choked on your tears. San embraced you in his arms, his warmth engulfed you and saying 'I'm sorry'. But this time his warmth felt familiar and you hugged him back.

Now you both were drowning in the pool of tears . San never wanted you to let you neither did you. After a long gap of silence you called him.... “San”. He then faced you and looked deeply into your eyes as if he was reading you. “ Y/N ” he said. The way he said your name made your heart melt. Little did you know you never wanted him to stop calling your name .

You moved closer to him and hugged him again, you could feel the warmth of the air he was breathing down your neck.

As you pulled away, you looked into his eyes but all you could see was pain and sadness.

You both stared at each other deeply. Knowing that this time will never come back. Knowing that this was the last time where you can tell him what you couldn't.

“I love you san”, it was all you said. All he could do was feel your love as you said but he could also feel the pain behind those words. He put his hand your cheek caressing slowly and looked down at your lips then at you.

You smiled.

This was enough for him, enough for him to press his soft lips against yours. This was enough for him to reveal his darkest secrets to you, enough for him to express how much he loved you.

Your lips molded perfectly as you cupped his cheek, tilting his face to get a better access of your lips.

Your lips moved in sync, the kiss was passionate but needy. Tears flowed down your face as you were unsure of whose tears were those....

He pulled you close holding on your waist tightly but with extreme care like you might disappear if he let go of you. You put your arms around his neck, as you kissed him harder and bit his lower lips earning a small moan from him. He kissed your lower and upper lip in turn. You sucked on his lower lips making him gasp. As you both now smiled . He then bit your lower lip and as he sucked it letting out a soft moan from you and allowing his tongue to slip in your mouth. Both of your tongue were now fighting for dominance and you groaned as he won. You both pulled away gasping for air.

He looked at you with tears brimming in his eyes and kissed you one last time saying "I love you y/n, I love you"...... But you knew that right ?.

San knew that saying goodbye was the hardest part but he never knew that it was going to be that painful. It was tearing him apart.

It was painful for him to say goodbye to you and it hurts for him to let go of you but what hurt him the most was to ask you to stay even when he knew you wanted to leave.

And he had to do it for you.

It was the last time you shared your love together. The last moment where you shared your thoughts together. The last moment where he could see you smile... The last moment where you could see him smile... The last moment where you shared your laugh together .

But it was love that was tearing you apart.

Hello welcome home.

San hopes that one day you'll meet again, not as people but as flowers.

At times you've wished if you hadn't met each other so you wouldn't have to bear the pain of leaving someone you love.

You've always wished for San. Hoping that one day he'll find someone that can give his happiness without giving him any pain like you did.

Little did you know you were San's happiness and you still are.

" We both are still beautiful " he thought. San still hopes that one day he'll find someone who can love him without the pain he has been through.

And he knew that you both have blossomed from the time you had met. He knows that you both have shared your pain, your happiness, your tears, your laughter, and your fear together.

Maybe that's what makes you two beautiful.

After all you both were now trying to make a new beginning rather than fixing the broken pieces.

You hope that maybe after you bid farewell to the world, you'll meet again. Maybe not in this realm but in your little world. And at that time you'll wait for him. You'll be there for him with your arms open....

‘Hello welcome home’

[buckymorelikefuckmebarnes]

Fortunate pt 9

Masterlist

Over reaction of the century

At 5:40 Bucky finally packed it in, the day had gone slower than he would have liked without you there and the thought unsettled him a little. Sure the work took longer without your help but it felt like he was at work for days rather than hours without your laugh filling the silence. He tried talking to Peter to pass the time but eventually Peter got tired of sitting in the shop with him so he had to settle with the radio which reminded him that you weren't there more than anything else. He was so used to hearing your voice hum or sing along with the music that the whole garage felt different. You had missed days before but this definitely felt different, especially after everything that had happened over the last few days.

He rode his bike past your apartment before slowing down and parking a few spaces away. He glanced at his phone. 5:50 he had to hurry to make sure he had time to get dressed for his date with Anna Marie but he wanted to make sure that you were okay.

He took the stairs two at a time until he was on your floor. It didn't take him long to figure out that you were gone. He checked the time again. Damn. He was going to be cutting it close. He hopped on his bike and mad his way to get changed.

He showed up to Anna Marie's apartment at 6:30 exactly. He didn't even have a chance to make it to the door before Anna was skipping through it. She was wearing a dress and Bucky's face fell as she took in his mode of transportation.

“Oh. I um.. I'll go change” She said picking at the hem of her dress.

“No... I'll catch us a cab.” Bucky didn't want to start the date off on the wrong foot.

“So James,  What do you do or work?” Anna asked as the cab made its way through the busy street. Bucky tried to keep the annoyed expression off his face as he thought about his bike parked against the curb and how it would have been much faster.

“I work at my uncle's garage with my best friend.”

“That's nice. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I mean its what I love to do. The hours are great and I work with the best people in the world. I really can't complain. What about you? Is the diner working for you?”

“I mean, it pays the bills, Ms. Danvers is a lovely woman to work for but I think I'd like to be an actress.”

Bucky nodded as Anna Marie spoke but didn't comment.

“You're a real conversationalist, aren't you? Something wrong?” She asked.

“Not really. Just worried about that friend of mine. Didn't show up to work today.”

“Is that not normal, everyone needs a sick day now and then. Have you tried texting him?”

She hasn't taken a sick day in months and she was perfectly fine yesterday. I did text her but it's still not like her.”

“Is this the friend that texted you the other day?”

“One in the same. Been friends with her and Stevie since we were teenagers.”

“Oh.” Anna bites her lip and readjusted herself to look at Bucky better. “So you guys hang out a lot?”

“Almost every day. Well, not so much with Steve now that hes engaged but we used to do movie nights once a month.”

“So you guys don't now?”

“No, It's just gone from the three musketeers to the two of us. Drink a little. Watch a movie. Eat junk food.”

Anna looked at Bucky with a frown. She tapped on the back of the driver's seat.

“You can stop here.” She handed the driver money and returned her attention back to Bucky who looked at her with confusion.

“I'm sorry James, Walk me home?”

Bucky was at a loss for words so he simply nodded and crawled out of the cab.

“W-What's going on? Did I do something to offend you?” Bucky stammered as he moved to catch up.

“No, honey, no. Not at all. You were a perfect gentleman. It just... This friend of yours, you're in love with her. And I just don't think my hearts in the right place to share.”

Bucky open and closed his mouth like a fish before finally finding the right words for the situation. “I do love her. Very much. She's been my rock for years but she doesn't feel the same way about me no matter what Steve says.” He stuffed his hands in his pocket and stared at his boots. “So I thought maybe give someone a real shot.”

“Sweetheart, now I know I don't have all sides of the story but it sounds like she cares about you a great deal. You'll never  know until you take a chance. Plus I'm not looking to be a rebound, real relationship or not.”

Bucky felt guilt bubble up in his chest as the reached her apartment. Maybe Steve was right, maybe he should sort his shit. He looked up and met Anna's eyes.

“Look James, It's not me it's you,” she let out a hearty laugh, “But we can still be friends. And if the way you wolfed down your milkshake the other day, I'm sure I'll be seeing you around.”

Bucky stayed oddly quiet and she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night.” And with that she disappeared into her apartment.

Bucky shook his head and hopped on his bike. He decided to drive around for a while to clear his head. He had a real mess on his hands and he needed time. Time to adjust to what everyone had been telling him. Maybe you did feel the same way. He could imagine how hurt you must have been with him when he came to your apartment with news about his date less than 24 hours after the kiss. Thinking back on it now he could see it all very clearly. You were all dolled up and wanting to talk to him about something important and then he came in babbling about a new woman. He could see your barely concealed hurt and he could kick himself. They always said hind sight was 20/20 but this was ridiculous. He had hurt his best friend and fuck that explains why you weren't at work. His heart felt heavy in his chest.

He had to find a way to make this right. He spotted a park and quickly pulled over and shut off his bike. He found an empty swing and planted himself in it. Swinging back and forth helped him settle his anxiety riddled body. His mind drifted back to the end his senior year. You had tried going out with some guy from your English class who managed to stand you up, he left you waiting at the movies for almost 30 minutes before you decided to call Bucky to pick you up. You both ended up at the park near your house, you didn't want your parents to know that this guy didn't show up after they dropped you off. You had been crying so hard that your make up had smeared down your face and all he could think was that you were too beautiful, even with thick black marks trailing down your cheeks, to be stood up. He felt rage bubble up in his chest. How could someone hurt you like this? Didn't he realize how special you were? That your heart was full of love and kindness for almost everyone?

It was probably that night that Bucky realized he loved you and here he was, on his own ruined date, wishing for nothing more than to have you close. Bucky sat on that swing until a police officer walked by with his flashlight.

“Excuse me, Sir. Park's closed for the night. You need to head out.”

Bucky nodded and stood up from the swing. “Sorry officer.”

Bucky was on his way home when he decided to check on you again. When he got to your apartment building he could see that all of the lights were still out, so either you weren't home yet (which worried him) or you were already asleep. He continued on to his apartment setting a mental reminder to text you when he made it home.

He walked in to his apartment and toed off his boots at the door. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bear, throwing his keys and wallet on the counter. He sipped on the bottle all the way to his bedroom where he pulled off his shirt and jeans and replaced them with a pair of gray sweats. He pulled his phone out of his jeans and thew them on the chair in the corner.

He quickly typed out a text that conveyed his concern easily.

You replied almost immediately and your reply left him a little puzzled. Just got home? You weren't usually one to stay out past 7 on a work night. He tried to remain cool, even though he was suddenly very nervous.

Girls night out? He texted you.

3 minutes, no response. Maybe you were busy.

10 minutes, no response. Probably in the shower. No reason to worry.

45 minutes, no response. Bucky was throwing on a shirt.

50 minutes, no response. He was flying down the road in the direction of your apartment.

70 minutes, no response. Bucky was knocking on your door. The worry faded from his chest as he heard the TV through the door. You opened the door and he was met with a well dressed, messy haired angel. The relief that washed over him was intoxicating.

“What the hell, Bucky?” You said rubbing your eye and smudging your make up. “Its 10:45 what are you doing here?”

“You didn't answer my text.” He said with a shrug.

“You have got to be kidding me. I fell asleep. I've had a long day.”

“Sorry. I was just worried about you. You know, you didn't come to work which was weird and then you barely talked to me today and then you weren't here when I tried to check on you.” Bucky's words flew out of his mouth at break neck speed.

“Sorry Buck. I didn't mean to worry you. I just... I  needed some me time today and then I had a date this evening.”

Bucky's jaw popped open for a quick second before he snapped it shut. He was too late.

“Sorry I woke you up. See you at work tomorrow?” He asked as he tried to keep a smile on his face'

“Yeah. For sure.” You said with a large yawn.

Bucky tuned to leave. “Buck.” Your sleepy voice came from the still open door.

He turned his head too look back at you. “Yeah.”

“We're okay, right?”

“Yeah, Sweetheart.”

He watched as you stepped through the doorway and wrapped your arms around him. Bucky returned the hug, inhaling deeply as you squeezed his waist. “Good. Sorry you were worried.”

“S'alright doll.” He placed a kiss to the top of your head that you didn't seem to notice. “I didn't mean to wake you. Get some rest.” With that, Bucky left.

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[wannasoftimagine]

park jihoon as your older friend

(( AS REQUESTED! // jihoon scenario where you're 2 years younger than him so you think he only sees you as a little sister but he confesses to you when he thinks you're gonna date someone else bc he's scared of losing you??? this is lowkey rly specific but THANK YOU!!! ))

ure used to hearing ppl talk abt how young jihoon is, and how hes so so so cute

of course, u agree with him

everyone does tbh

still, it makes u feel a little upset bc it seems like everyone who says those things are older than him, with jobs and life experience and history and Fancy Stuff like tht

so compared to them, u feel like a toddler

even tho ure only 2 yrs younger than jihoon, it feels like theres 100 yrs between u

it doesnt help tht jihoon is always going on radio shows and reality programs, acting cute whenever someone older so much as looks his way

still

u know u should prob just feel grateful tht ure close friends, since most ppl dont even get tht far

but sometimes u wonder if itd be better if u werent close, bc now he only sees u as a little sibling to take care of

u wish u could say it wasnt true, but everything he does is exactly like an older brother

he dotes on u and watches over u, but instead of acting like a caring boyfriend, he just seems like someone babysitting his little sibling and u haTE IT

ure not even sure how long uve liked him romantically, but its like whenever u remember how he used to treat u even when u first met, ure stuck thinking abt how he mustve seen u

after all, who can look at a kid tht used to cry whenever their parents went to work and go “oh yeah theyre cute i like them a lot” ???

not jihoon

esp when hes already way out of ur league to begin with

as u get older, ur feelings for jihoon dont completely fade

there r times when theyre easier to ignore, sure, but its impossible to think tht theyre actually gone

whenever u guys make eye contact over dinner at a fast food restaurant, he beams at u in a way tht cant possibly be taken as platonic

ur heart is beating way too fast for u to lie to urself

anyways

u try and move on by befriending other ppl and even trying to date some other ppl

of course tht rlly doesnt work out

u turn down almost anyone tht u could possibly go out with, and even when ur friends try and set u up with other ppl, u can never make it past the first blind date

(ure too busy comparing the strangers to jihoon and watching them all fall short)

u mention some of the blind dates to jihoon

at first its bc ure hoping he’ll get jealous and confess

but as more time goes on, hes still just as supportive in his answers, and u realize tht theres no use in hoping when he clearly doesnt feel the same way

then a new guy transfers to ur school, and hes vaguely attractive and smart and funny and u get along well enough

he asks u out after school one day, and ure like why not? so u accept a first date bc u might as well give it a shot

its the first date tht ure on where u try not to think so much abt jihoon

it works for the most part, but u still find ur mind drifting off and wondering what jihoons up to

when the guy excuses himself to take a phone call from one of his friends, u manage to text jihoon to check up on him

u banter back and forth, and u cant help the way ure grinning down at ur phone with every text he sends u

at some point he asks where u are, and u realize wHOOPS guess who didnt tell jihoon tht u were having a date tonight

...

u

cmon dude whats up w that

anyways so u explain to him tht ure on a date w the new guy in ur class

and jihoons response is surprisingly short and clipped

its just a quick “oh” and ure like “???” bc hes never responded quite like tht before

so u ask him if smthns up

u see the typing bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and so on

eventually it just disappears completely and he doesnt start typing again and ure even more confused than u were before

after what seems like forever, he texts u to ask if ure having a good time

u tell him tht u think u are

honestly tho, ure not too sure bc now its impossible for u to think of anything other than him

the guy comes back with an apology and a smile, and ure forced to tuck ur phone away and try not to be too obviously distracted for the rest of the evening

tht proves to be WAY TOO HARD

the entire night ure picking apart the way the guy cuts his food (jihoon looks cute doing literally anything), how he gives u a smile when u meet eyes (it doesnt look as genuine and bright as jihoons), how jihoon wouldnt even take u to a restaurant like this (u both feel more comfortable somewhere lowkey and relaxed)

if the guy notices, he doesnt say anything

at the end, he just drops u off back at ur home and tells u he had a nice time, and “maybe we could do this again?”

all u can do is choke out a “maybe” in response before ure hurrying inside and scrambling to check ur phone

jihoon hasnt rlly texted u since u last checked, and u can feel ur heart drop a little in its chest

u send him a quick msg, asking what hes up to and if he wants to facetime or smthn bc ure done with the date, and hes quick to agree

right before u call him, u see his text saying tht “i need to talk to u abt smtn too so its good timing”

ure freaking out a little bc maybe hes going to tell u abt his own s/o now tht uve told him abt ur date and u can feel ur hands shaking as the connection loads

once ure in ur room, u manage to make out his tired (but still glowing) features on ur phone screen

u greet each other with half-stilted questions, and u cant help but wonder why ure both so awkward w each other

i mean. obv u know why u are

but ure like ? why is HE acting so weird

and after a few more moments of tense silence, u finally ask him what he wanted to talk abt

somehow even thru the phone screen u can see his face turn bright red

and u would think abt how cute it was if u werent also thinking tht u mustve been right, hes dating someone else, and u can feel ur eyes start to well up w tears bc uve always known tht he didnt like u back, but this time its so painfully obvious

thts when he clears his throat like “um,, y/n,,,, we’ve known each other for awhile and i kno ure kinda young but,,,,,,”

and somehow he hasnt noticed tht ure having a mental breakdown as he gets closer and closer to saying what he wanted to tell u

“anyways y/n,,, i rlly like u so please dont go out w that guy again and mb go out w me instead??”

which. WHAT

ure literally shellshocked and hes trying to explain on the other end like “i mean u dont have to if u dont want to i just wanted to tell u and-”

its honestly precious tbh

u barely manage to cut him off but ure still a mess of emotions so u cant rlly talk properly

ure pretty sure tht u end up saying the equivalent of a keyboard smash,,,

he quiets down tho, and as ure trying to figure out want u want to say, he just looks at u w this rlly cute earnest expression and ur heart MELTS

eventually u manage to choke out tht u like him and now its his turn to get surprised

“WAIT ARE U SERIOUS”

he whisper-screams the whole thing, bc he doesnt want to actually scream and hurt ur ears but hes still freaking out and cant contain everything hes feeling

all u can do is nod and grin into ur hands and hes like “uGH now i wish i could tell u in person” but hes acting all soft and shy and tbh u dont think either of u could handle it if u were in the same room right now

still

ure both blushing and giggling and u feel so so relieved its kinda embarrassing

but he manages to cough out tht he’s rlly rlly happy tht u like him too, and “lets meet up soon? please?”

and who are u to deny him smthn like tht

(esp when uve been dreaming abt going on a date w him since forever ago)

eventually u have to end the call

but u both go to sleep that night with ur phones nearby, smiling even as u drift off to sleep