#Not even CLOSE

[dinodanicus]

The ancient mollusk punk ferox feeding on the detritus littering the seafloor.

[luminologism]

skytober day 30 - sacrifice

i'll be there for you when your wings break letting go of you that's a heartbreak

[catmask]

some specific verbage i always stumble over other people using is when i get referred to as 'the _____ guy'. like 'the pokemon guy' 'the comics guy' 'the furry art guy'. not because any of these are untrue i guess, i do love all these things - only that im not THE anything. theres a whole lot of pokemon fans and furry artists and comics artists that are dedicated and talented and wonderful people, so being known as the go to for any of those is like... hold on hold on. i know seven other variants of 'the guy' youre talking about, im really not unique in any sort of way. we're all working together in these communities so id never want any to be attributed to me specifically. especially because my knowledge is only limited to what one person knows at 25...!

[sade-alicious]

”The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.” -Dustin Henderson quoting Sherlock Holmes (4x05)

[danytheconqueror-jonthewhitewolf]

"Aegon Targaryen is no true king. Just as you are no true knight"

"He's nothing but a craven little cunt. Just. Like. You"

House Blackwood was in there for like two minutes, and in those two minutes, they did nothing but serve.

[leashybebes]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I have a need for more of this cause the whole story makes me laugh and I can’t wait to read more than just the snippets

uh-oh... watch out for your ankles, derek

Across the table, Tommy drags the tip of his nose up the side of Derek's face, across his stubble, making him smile. He stays close to murmur something into Derek's ear, something that makes the other man's smile turn smaller, but more intense.

Buck realizes he's frowning and deliberately hitches a smile onto his face. Derek's…fine. He's absolutely fine. He's good looking - not in Tommy's league, but Buck doesn't really know anyone who is - and friendly and he clearly likes Tommy a lot. He's just a little…blah. Between Buck also now being on shift work, and Tommy spending more of his free time with Derek, they don't see each other as much now, and Buck figures he just misses it a little. He misses hanging out at Tommy's house to escape his shitty roommates. Misses dragging Tommy around WeHo's finest pick up spots and seeing him gradually turn into someone confident and flirty. Misses being the person Tommy talks to about his hookups.

Buck guesses he's a little jealous of Tommy's time, is all. But that's not Derek's fault. Derek is fine.

[chrissy-kaos]

I’m not well.. 😭

[conspicuous-clown-car]

tried showing my friend spooky month while we were high

[cowboylikeyouu]

saw dp&w in theaters for the 5th time and i‘m literally this close 🤏🏼 to putting it in my letterboxd top 4

[sotomato06]

the electoral college is an incredibly misleading election system. Ignore everyone who says trump won in a landslide, because he didn't. He got 49.9% of the vote, not even a full majority and secured only 42 more electoral college votes than he needed. For comparison, in an election that is considered a landslide, the 1980 election, Regan got 489 electoral votes. Over a hundred more. Harris got 48.4% of the popular vote, around 7% more than Carter in the aforementioned 1980 election. The 2024 election was not a landslide and trump is not what a majority of Americans want. Remember that.

[dinodanicus]

While normally herbivorous a large male dinopithecus has resorted to hunting and eating an impala as a means of supplementing his calcium poor vegetarian diet.

[judgement-marshmallow]

btw I think

“q!Roier thinks q!Cellbit killing people is hot”

and

“q!Roier is equally as pissed off at the Feds as q!Cellbit and he wants to see them burn to the ground and will gladly help his husband in doing so. He’s lost so much at the hands of the Feds and he has every right in the world to be angry with them. He doesn’t see it as a red flag because he agrees with what he’s doing and will do the same.”

can co-exist

[blacklegsanjienthusiast]

wanted to give my two cents on the take that sanji’s refusal to fight women is because of misogyny or stems from a belief that women are inherently weaker etc because it popped up in my reblogs and i have a lot of thoughts on it, the most prominent being i don’t agree with it at all. we know that zeff is the one who drilled the (definitely old fashioned) values of men not hurting women and a gentlemen’s role being to protect women into sanji and we know that sanji very much took that on board but his rigidness in not deferring from those values has a lot more reason to it. during whole cake island sanji tells judge that the reason he helped the vinsmokes is because zeff would be disappointed if he stooped to their level by watching them die and that “if i can’t stand tall and look my father in the eye then i’ve failed him”. as a child sanji never knew what he did wrong, never knew why his brothers hated him so much or why he was such a disappointment to his father; all he knew was that he was a failure to judge and it lead to him being locked away. it’s very hard for a child to not internalise that feeling and so it makes sense that as an adult sanji is incredibly serious about following the rules that zeff taught him. he won’t hit a women because zeff would be disappointed in him and the last thing he’s ever going to do is disappoint zeff. he’s not going to fail his father, not again, by doing something he would disapprove of. this is basically a really long winded way of saying that sanji’s respect for women and his refusal to fight or hurt them isn’t because he believes they can’t fight or because they’re weak (he knows damn well how strong women can be, he lives with robin and nami who are formidable more often than not) but simply because he’s following what his father taught him. quite literally everything he believes in regards to men not hurting women and protecting them was taught to him by zeff.

[makethisuseraname]

the catwin fic i initially started as a short and sweet oneshot now has 6 chapters and angst in it

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF Shorts: Not Even Close!

A vs show where the longer analysis and set up is skipped in order to briefly explain why a certain fight is nowhere near close.

This Week's Fighters....

John Egbert vs Archie Sonic!

Conditions:

Sonic is at his absolute peak of power. Homestuck^2 and the Epilogues are completely ignored.

Hooooo, boy. This is gonna be a lot folks so buckle up.

What's being used?

Okay, so for those not in the know, the Sonic comics under Archie sorta had their own "Crisis on Infinite Earths" event, where Sonic and Megaman had to team up to prevent the entire multiverse from being erased by the Super Genesis Wave. They do that, fighting back the Wave with the power of the Chaos Emeralds, but then Eggman fucks everything up at the last minute, resulting in a continuity reboot. While various elements were carried over from the old canon into the new, Sonic himself got a severe nerf, being as a whole a lot less impressive than his Pre-Wave counterpart.

I did consider combining the two Sonics for the sake of this analysis, but ultimately, there's little point. There isn't anything Post-Wave Sonic really has that Pre-Wave doesn't do already. As such, this fight will be considering Archie Sonic in his Pre-Genesis Wave phase with complete access to Hyper Sonic and every other ability and technique he's ever demonstrated.

As for John, I'll be looking primarily at the OG Homestuck webcomic and sources trying into it, such as Hussie's author commentary and statements they made as Word of God, whilst ignoring dubiously canon modern materials like the Epilogues and Beyond Canon. These are the OG versions of their characters at what I consider to be their primes.

With that out of the way, let's dig in.

4th Wall Fuckery

An interesting thing about the Sonic comics is, due to their long run, they've undergone very significant tonal changes as the story has progressed. Back in the early run, Robotnik was more of a cartoon villain and Sonic was allowed to break the fourth wall in whatever cartoony way he liked. Talking to the audience, listening to the narrator, getting the audience to attack the bas guys for him, and so on.

But, as the comics formed their own identity, things changed. Robotnik outright fucking died and got replaced by the Modern Eggman as an alternate universe version of him traveling to conquer this universe. This is because, as the "one True Sonic", it is cosmic law that Sonic must always fight Eggman, so Eggman will always find some technicality to return on.

More to the point, Sonic's fourth wall breaking never disappeared. He just started hiding it in the Off Panel segments, because he knew that it wouldn't fit inside the new established tone of the series, hanging out there with the Archie Staff. Hell, this 4th wall version of Sonic even survived the Genesis Wave event and tried to make a new home for himself in the Megaman comics as the last remnant of a forgotten world. Kinda sad actually.

But, while this is an impressive display of metatextual manipulation, it is ultimately something John can at least match up against. Sonic can hang out with the staff writing his comic. John can beat a guy who killed his own author. Sonic can partially survive his reality getting retconned away by editorial mandate. John can outright counter the webpage his reality is written in being destroyed and undo the story's bad ending. So, this alone shouldn't be enough to end the fight.

Basically, the realm of Off Panel represents the "real world" of the Archie Sonic cosmology. None of Sonic's abilities, besides his 4th wall self existing within it, had any effect on it, even when he was otherwise altering all of reality. On the other hand, John has shown to stave off attacks that effected even the "real world" webpage his comic existed in in the first place, so he wins that battle no matter how you stack it.

Chaos Energy

Sonic is a proficient master of wielding the Chaos Energy through various sources, from the Power Rings and the Chaos Emeralds to the Ixis Magicks that manipulate the elements themselves. Chaos Energy stems from the extra-dimensional Chaos Force that resides above nearly all reality, including the entire Archie Sonic Multiverse.

As you might've guessed, this can be applied in all manner of reality warping ways, so let's go through all the big ones one by one.

Abstract Concepts:

Even basic energy blasts of Chaos Energy are capable of destroying the abstract concepts that make up reality. Take for example when the Super Genesis Wave was destroying realms like Maginaryworld, a realm made up of the concept of dreams.

But, even regular SBURB Players can match that, as they can kill Sprites, who are made of the concepts and information they absorb.

Furthermore, John was surviving hits from Lord English, whose attacks were destroying the Furthest Ring, a realm made out of the abstract concepts that govern reality. So, John can likely survive hits from Chaos Energy.

Regeneration:

Sonic has regenerated from being erased from existence completely by the Ultimate Annihilator, coming back from nothing but his aura of Chaos Energy.

But, God-Tier immortality does him one better, as that can resurrect Players even as their entire multiverse around them is being corrupted and erased.

A random encounter battle wouldn't strictly force John into being inherently good or evil so unless the circumstances of the fight are specifically rigged, the rules of John dying permanently when facing a Heroic or Just death wouldn't give Sonic an advantage.

Mind Manipulation:

Sonic's aura in his Super Sonic form can passively undo mind control or erase evil corruption from a foe's mind, while similar wielders of Chaos like Enerjak can mind control or possess foes. Due to the fact that John isn't evil or mind controlled, the first wouldn't come up, while the second would likely be negated by the fact that mind control from the likes of Gamzee Makara or the Horrorterrors hasn't ever effected him.

Matter Manipulation:

Chaos Energy has frequently been shown to manipulate matter down to an atomic level, such as by transmutting people into crystals. However, John's ability to turn himself into wind and think even as a gust of wind could likely allow him to simply shapeshift out of anything he's transformed into. He also has experience fighting against similar matter manipulators like Bec Noir.

Fate Manipulation vs The Treasure

And, here's the big one. If you know Archie Sonic for anything, you know him for this.

Due to the sheer amount of Chaos Energy Sonic has absorbed over his life, from the countless power rings he's collected to the times he's used the Chaos Emeralds, Sonic has become the embodiment of Chaos itself.

No matter what happens, no matter the scenario he's put in, something will happen so that Sonic manages to save the day in the end.

The issue is: this is exactly the sort of power The Treasure is designed to counter.

Caliborn's power as a Lord of Time works the exact same way, altering fate, probability, causality, and the plot itself to ensure he always wins.

Despite this, John can beat the absolute motherfuck out of him no problem.

Simply put, Chaos Energy is what defines the rules of reality, but because John is unstuck from reality to begin with, most of its abilities simply cannot effect him.

Cosmology

And, finally, the big question. Who is stronger?

Both of these characters have dealt with threats that threaten most of their entire cosmology, so all we have to do is compare them.

For Sonic, we already know that there are infinite universes in the multiverse, with each choice creating infinite timelines, with the Cosmic Interstate connecting them all. The Cosmic Interstate also connects to the No Zone which 4 spatial dimensional axis and 1 temporal axis, as opposed to our regular universe which has 3 spatial and 1 temporal axis. To accommodate, this makes the Cosmic Interstate a 5-D realm. Other 5-D realms like Maginaryworld exist alongside it.

Above that, we have the Next Evolution, the afterlife that those closely connected to the Chaos Force ascend to when they die. It exists between the Chaos Force and the mortal realms, completely inaccessible to the living, as a 6-D plane.

The Chaos Force lies beyond that as the highest form of reality and Off Panel transcends even that, culminating in an 8-D multiverse in total.

But, Homestuck has it beat. While most of Homestuck's universes alone contain infinite timelines and the greater cosmology contains infinite of these universes, the Furthest Ring lies beyond even that.

Scroll back up the scan where I discuss concepts. Note Hussie's wording when they discuss the sprites. Platonic concepts. As in, drawing on the teachings of Plato.

Why does this matter? The Furthest Ring is the baseline reality where these concepts lie. To use the Analog of Plato's Cave, any reality with spatial dimensions is the cave and the Furthest Ring is what lies beyond. Concepts according to the Platonic school of thought cannot be contained by mere dimensioned space, no matter how high those dimensions stack. Not finite dimensions, not in infinite dimensions. You will only over see their shadow on the wall. This is what makes the Homestuck cosmology Outerversal.

Sonic, by contrast, has never demonstrated to view its concepts in the same light. The characters interact with abstracts frequently, sure, but never with the same language and philosophical bent. They aren't treates as inherently above all physical space, so I cannot weigh them as such.

So, the Homestuck cosmology is, in total:

The webpage itself > Paradox Space > The Furthest Ring > Infinite Dimensions.

Sonic meanwhile totals at.... 8-D.

If you want to know why I've covered so little of Sonic's kit, this is why. Most of it, beyond the big name stuff, is irrelevant in the face of the stat gap.

Conclusion:

Simply put, John Egbert is a hardcounter to Sonic in both hax and stats. He was specifically designed to resist and overcome Sonic's best abilities and is infinite stat advantage makes all his other abilities moot. Sonic's immeasurable speed, with his ability to literally be too fast to be effected by time stop, is impressive, but Bec Noir has similar showings, and while Sonic has the definitive edge in skill, experience, and intelligence, it's a moot comparison to make. John Wick is more skilled than Godzilla, but that doesn't mean he'd win.

Between the literally layers of infinity between the two opponents and the counters to Sonic's best options, it's no wonder that this fight is.... not even close!

This Throwdown's Winner...

John Egbert!

[make-me-your-animal]

I promise I'm normal about these two