#Not because of them themselves but how I'd been conditioned at to view people in power

[severussnapemylove]

Snaters love to bring up how Nevill's Boggart looked like Snape, but conveniently forget that Hermione's Boggart was McGonagall.

I could go into some long detail here about how Neville also said he didn't want the Boggart to turn into his grandmother either. (And what we find out about Neville's grandmother and extended family, which is a whole other post) So like Hermione wasn't afraid of McGonagall per se, but what she represents, in this case Hermione's fear of failure. Neville's actual fear is a prominent dominating authority figure because he's been conditioned to that response in his home life.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

omg pleaseeee make the living weapon comfort prompts

Okay I will! ^_^

Living Weapon Hurt Prompts, from last time

💥 Living Weapon Comfort 💥

So, how do you comfort someone who has been taught not to even view themselves as anything more than a tool for violence?

Caretaker shows whumpee the everyday parts of life - going to the movies, baking cookies together, going grocery shopping, etc. This is especially important if they never had a childhood.

Caretaker encourages whumpee to get a regular, civilian job, or better yet, pursue the dreams were forced to give up.

Caretaker reminds whumpee that their own pain matters. When they get injured or sick, they can take a day off. They're allowed painkillers. It's not about whether they can stand up and keep fighting efficiently, it's about their comfort.

Whumpee confesses the full extent of what they were forced to do. They've never told anyone this before and break down while talking about it.

Caretaker reframes what happened, points out the abuse that they couldn't see at the time, and reassures them that it was not their fault.

Caretaker praises whumpee for showing emotion, for acting gentle, for singing, for showing weakness. In those moments, Caretaker protects whumpee from anyone who would judge them.

Caretaker is very careful about how they move and how they touch whumpee, because whumpee can panic if it feels like someone is about to put them in a chokehold, pull a gun, etc.

Caretaker supports whumpee through nightmares and flashbacks, even if whumpee becomes aggressive in that half-aware state.

Whumpee visits the people they've hurt or the families of those they've killed, and tries to make amends in some small way. It's not enough, nothing could ever be enough, but they are forgiven anyway.

"I love you no matter what you've done. You want to know the honest truth? Even if you were really, deep down, responsible for all of it...I'd still love you."

Caretaker trusts whumpee with tasks that require gentleness, like babysitting, teaching, healing, or leadership roles.

When someone expresses that they don't trust whumpee or that whumpee should be punished, Caretaker chews them out privately. "They're not dangerous. They were being controlled. The things they did...that's not who they are."

Whumpee is afraid that their conditioning is too strong to break, so Caretaker promises to restrain whumpee if they act dangerously. "But I know you won't. I trust you."

Whumpee DOES get triggered and get violent, but Caretaker assures them that they haven't lost their progress. They are still getting better, it just takes time.

[warpcoreweirdness]

just finished season 2 of Lower Decks and i'm SO glad i tried this show again

i actually started the show a while ago, but the constant easter eggs put me off.

(i still don't know how non-Trekkie viewers are meant to get the jokes where the punchline is "reference!! 😂", but lots of people enjoy it so ymmv).

i stopped a few minutes into episode 2 after Rutherford agrees to quit his job as an engineer so he can watch the Trivoli pulsar with Tendi.

i honestly thought it was going to be a storyline about a guy giving up a job he loves and making his boss angry so that he can spend time with a female friend he has a crush on, because that's the plotline i've been conditioned to expect from tv. i wasn't feeling excited about the show, so i put it on pause.

but if i'd watched for about two more seconds before noping out for a few months, i would've seen this:

when i started watching again, i realised that the episodes never bog themselves down in drawn-out, uncomfortable storyline or character staples - they're actually incredibly well-written, tightly paced, and tell their stories in just the right amount of time. Rutherford wants to be Tendi's friend (at least for now), his boss Billups is really supportive, and Tendi brings a PADD into the Jefferies tube so they can both do what they enjoy, separately but together.

another great part about that scene with Rutherford and his boss is something that Lower Decks does a lot, which is make jokes that actually rely on subverting audience expectations. a big example - and a way of referencing other parts of the Star Trek franchise that does work for me - is when the creators gently poke fun at or subvert common story beats, emotional arcs, or dramatic moments from other parts of Trek.

like when Rutherford loses his memory and Tendi is excited to get to know him again, rather than devastated that he doesn't remember her.

or when they save themselves from being smooshed by Dooplers by dramatically ejecting the warp core of their tiny model starship.

or when Tendi goes on an arc of significant personal development over the course of one (1) whole episode.

they're general enough that even people who haven't seen other Star Trek shows (or movies) can still recognise and appreciate them.

beyond this, the show also has great moments where they (lovingly) cast a light on some of the flaws and foibles in the franchise, often in subtle or comedic ways.

like showing people in beep chairs living their best lives (in contrast to TOS and SNW's view of the beep chair as a tragic, doomsday fate for Pike).

or using Tendi to comment on Trek's depiction of Orions specifically as all pirates and slavers, and alien cultures more generally as monocultures.

or even just acknowledging that Trek shows mostly focus on the bridge crew doing heroic first contact-esque adventures, when that can't be all there is to Starfleet.

heck, they even have Rutherford go on a journey of acceptance and self-discovery after a permanent memory wipe (in contrast to Uhura in TOS, where it's never mentioned again).

another reason i really appreciate the show is that the creators have taken the time to think through what a more inclusive future could look like, in ways that are noticeably lacking or absent in many other Trek shows:

beyond exploring diversity through explicit identity representation (which is still very important), it does this through its world building as well.

i love this communal sonic shower scene for what it says about gender and body politics in Trek. in the future, why would we still separate bathrooms and changing rooms by gender? and why would we have the same views and expectations around bodies that we (by "we" i mean Western countries) do now?

this short scene dismantles the idea that nudity is inherently sexual, that gender is binary and biological, that some genders can't be trusted around other genders while naked, and that heterosexuality is the default (and when you bring dozens of alien species into the mix, why wouldn't we have more and newer ways of thinking about gender?). it even has a little mention that Boimler prefers not to shower with others, leaving space for people to act however feels most comfortable for them.

it's such a little thing, but after years spent (lovingly) yelling at the screen during TNG, TOS, DS9, etc saying, "why are they assuming everyone is straight? WHY would people be this sexist?", i noticed it immediately and appreciated it immensely.

(this isn't related to the storytelling, but i also have to say - the animation in Lower Decks is so pretty???):

this isn't a perfect show, but it's funny, has fantastic storytelling, and it loves the source material without worshipping it. (which is not something i expected to say, given how it started).

plus i love these characters SO MUCH.

so far, so very good 🤞.

(image descriptions in alt text)

[raayllum]

I've touched on this before in regards to TDP, at first just in regards to Claudia's consistent thing with fragmentation and then further in my meta regarding Rayla-Leola parallels, but I want to talk briefly about the Fixing vs Broken dichotomy TDP has been running with more subtly till S6 said, "Sit up and pay attention" so let's get into it.

First: what breaks things in TDP?

If you're a magical object, it's probably Callum but when it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. We see the literal act of dark magic break people and families apart, both literally and metaphorically:

This on the one hand makes sense. Of course the characters and by extension their family dynamics or magic use is going to reflect the landscape of Xadia itself: literally split and divided down the middle, initially, due to dark magic use and how the elves and dragons chose to handle things. A broken continent and broken people.

Therefore, we see characters who want to fix things, particularly in TDP shorts featuring Claudia:

Her brother squirmed. “Clauds, Biscuit’s—” “—I know. But I fixed it. Now we can still play with her.”

Reflections Vol 1: Rise Again

It will be just like before, only this time, you won’t be able to fix him… [...] “Do not fear,” the Startouch elf had said. “You are a dark mage, powerful and potent. With my help, there is nothing you cannot fix. Not even death.” [...] “Let’s go,” Claudia told the creature. “I can fix this. I can fix anything.”

Reflections Vol 2: Lost Child

as well as in show canon:

This is reflected in magic use routinely throughout the series, as mages inherently use magic (primal or dark) to fix their problems and help those around them. Callum uses magic to try and fix Rayla's problems with her family; Claudia uses magic to 'fix' Soren and Viren's physical conditions, and is confused and upset when it isn't enough. Bringing Zym back to Zubeia 'fixes her "irreparably broken heart" (3x08) and starts to heal the continent. Wanting to fix things or keep things from breaking apart further is something that drives many of the main characters, most notably Claudia and Karim in their steadfast attempts to hold onto, or restore, what they still have to the way it 'should be':

This "I need/want to fix it" mindset isn't exclusive to the villains, but wanting to go back rather than move forward — heavily resisting change — does tend to be more common for antagonists (versus Viren's "I have changed") and more counterproductive when protagonists engage in it ("She's been trying hard to get things the way they were" "But things aren't like they were!").

Part of this, of course, is because breaking things isn't (or is rarely) exclusively bad in TDP, or that not breaking things is always Good.

And all of this comes back to, I think, one of the most interesting scenes in the whole show in both a "character perspective as an individual" standpoint and in a broader narrative way of thinking: Sol Regem's assessment of the world in 6x04:

Which of course begs the question: what is broken in Xadia, and what does Sol Regem think is broken in Xadia?

I'd be willing to wager given that Sol Regem seemingly reported and/or testified against Leola to the Cosmic Council that it's about magic use, but it could even be about the First Elves themselves leaving and the "long slow spiral to chaos" that's ongoing. For us as an audience, our context of what is broken (re: not functional and wrong) — especially by the end of S6 is the Cosmic Order system because it's not fair, the division between elves and humans, and the splitting of the continent, which is why Ezran argues for elf-human reunification, Callum uses primal magic for good, and Rayla loves her human family. Because what fixes things, routinely, is love, compassion, self-reflection, and mercy. That's what breaks the cycle, and allows people to fix themselves and their world views, their families, their mistakes. That's what allows healing.

We also know canon is gearing up towards something given Aaravos' endgame is some kind of great shattering, and given what it implies, both immense suffering and good will likely come out of it:

I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky.

—TDP Reflections Vol 1: Patience

Because Sol Regem is both right and wrong.

Xadia is broken — but our team of heroes can and will save it.

[snowglobe-system]

Hi! Feel no pressure to answer, but I have a few questions (regarding DID)

So I'm aware of what an endo system is, but I'm a bit confused on why it would be considered valid since the condition is directly caused by trauma, which is the thing that endos lack. Could you please explain your perspective on it? And maybe your perspective before you became pro-endo?

Hey! I've been sitting on this ask for a few days now. I do want to start out by thanking you for reaching out to me and asking about my perspective. Please note that you are not obligated to agree with me, or to change your mind just from my answer to your questions. I like having you as a mutual, and I will continue to do so regardless of your syscourse stance.

I'm going to grab a term that some of my mutuals in the DID community have used, and say I'm really more pro syscourse conversation than I am pro endo- pro endo is just the easiest way to communicate my basic stances.

I think the most important thing to understand here is that a lot of the time, the "are endos real" debate suffers from both sides fundamentally misunderstanding what the other's stance actually is. While there is a small subsection of the endo community claiming that DID isn't trauma based- which I vehemently disagree with, DID is absolutely trauma based, and that's backed by all of the research- that's not the majority.

Most endogenic systems are not claiming to have DID. They are claiming to experience themselves as more than one. I am by no means an expert on this, but I know that it is a very western-centric view to assume that everyone subscribes to being one singular self. If you want to learn more about non-western views on the self and on plurality, I would recommend looking at @system-of-a-feather's blog. They make great posts on the subject!

And- here's a real kicker- not everyone with a CDD- CDD standing for complex dissociative disorders and including the likes of DID, OSDD, P-DID, UDD, etc- actually identifies as plural. Not everyone with even DID identifies as plural. So if someone with a CDD can identify as one, what's stopping someone who doesn't have a CDD from identifying as more than one? This post puts it pretty well, so I'm just going to link it here! And if you're looking for scientific backing on endo systems? Dr Colin Ross, one of the very well known DID researchers, believes in non-traumagenic self states.

Basically, I'm choosing to believe people when they talk about their subjective personal experiences.

Now you did also ask about my anti-endo days and I will also gladly talk about those. I will admit, I was the worst kind of anti-endo. I was the type of person who would throw even other CDD systems under the bus as fakers because I wanted to seem more legitimate. Everyone who didn't present the "right" way was a faker. And endos, my goodness. They were the worst fakers of them all.

It was an extremely reactive position to take. I was suffering from my plurality, therefore everyone who wasn't had to be faking. They were making a mockery out of me! At least, that's how I perceived it.

And then I started interacting with endos, and pro endos. I realized that they were also real people, not just an abstract concept to make fun of to make myself look more legitimate. And I started reading blogs that had the rawest, realest content about CDDs that I'd come across thus far... and they were pro endo. And the arguments as to why were really good.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that the things that were leading me to being anti endo were the same things that made me into a transmed when in the 2010s. I believed that people had to meet a minimum quota of suffering to be real. In a way, I was defining people by it. And ultimately, if they are lying? It costs me nothing to believe them. I'd rather believe some liars than not believe people who are telling the truth. I've had enough experience with people not believing me. It sucks. I didn't want to keep doing that to others.

That's about the end of this yap session! Seriously, thanks again for asking, I really enjoyed writing this post. I hope I answered in a way that makes sense to you!

[genderqueerdykes]

hiiii so ive been meaning to say this for a hot minute but thank you for speaking up for two spirit folx. we're so often neglected for more mainstream western mostly eurocentric labels & most only treat us as an afterthought if we're even considered at all in queer history & now so thank you it means a lot !!

hello there, thanks for taking the time to send this message!

i'd like to be more inclusive and help talk about two spirit identities more- currently, i feel like i'm not as educated as i'd like to be, as i've only known a small handful of two spirit folks personally. i'd like to make sure i'm being as respectful and accurate as possible whenever i do mention these identities and issues, because i know so much of that eurocentricism ends up alienating a lot of two spirit individuals

i attended a queer rights conference in 2011 or so, and listened to an indigenous speaker on two spirit issues. there, i was introduced to the concept that many two spirit people do NOT consider themselves queer or LGBT due to how eurocentric those identities are. i know that not every two spirit person feels this way, but it's helped me realize that not every two spirit person identifies the same way, just like anyone else, and it's important to listen to that diversity in experience and not force people into a system that may not fit them at all whatsoever

but there's also what you're discussing, which is that many two spirit people do identify as trans and/or queer, and white queers just do their very best to ignore that or act as though it's not something that belongs in the community. cultural queer identities are extremely important and if a two spirit person believes they fit into the queer community due to their experiences, that is their right and their experience deserves to be discussed just like anyone else's, as it's complex and nuanced just like any other LGBTQ identity

i am here to both uplift two spirit and indigenous people, while also not putting words into their mouths and speaking as though i'm a master on an identity i will literally never understand personally. it's not my place to try to understand it from a personal standpoint, but it is my place to try to help people feel welcome in how they identify, whether or not they feel they fit into our white eurocentric concepts of queerness, but also to not deny that person's identity if they do feel like they are part of the queer umbrella

it's still something that's extremely important to talk about, just like how it's important to discuss intersex people who do not view themselves as queer due to their intersex conditions. i know there are many white people out there who would ask a two spirit person "why not just identify as bigender or genderfluid?" which is so painfully disrespectful. some people's identities are inherently tied to their culture and that desires to be heard

some two spirit people identify as trans and queer, and some don't, and that's okay. every person who has this experience deserves to talk about it and feel represented, and not feel like their identity is a backseat to everyone else's. if anyone has good resources on two spirit identities actually written by indigenous people, i would love to read more. unfortunately so much information on the internet has been written by those same white europeans and their descendants and i do not want to listen to those voices at all when it comes to this subject

i hope to be even more inclusive in the future! thanks for your kind message, i hope to become even more inclusive and educated as time goes on. hope you are well, take care of yourself!

[ask-the-prose]

The Self-Doubt Battle

Hi all, this week's guide is about imposter syndrome and self-doubt! This is a pretty personal subject for me because I struggle with this all the time, so I thought I'd write up a little guide for those of you who do too.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is a pattern of self-doubt that people (especially high achievers) feel. This pattern of self-doubt usually presents as a feeling that one is an imposter or that their achievements are due to falsehoods or faking competency. It is important to understand that Imposter Syndrome is not a clinical term and does not constitute an actual mental health condition. This is a phenomenon that occurs when people doubt themselves so thoroughly that they fear that others will view them as a fraud.

As previously stated, Imposter Syndrome is not a mental health condition that one suffers from, but instead, it is a pattern of thinking that can be overcome. If you find that this feeling is familiar to you, don't lose hope. This is not a permanent feeling, and it is not indicative of any moral or personal failing.

How do I rebuild my confidence?

This portion of the guide may sound familiar! Some of the things that work for burnout will also help rebuild your confidence and battle those persistent feelings of self-doubt. In fact, I find that self-doubt and burnout can very often go hand in hand. If you're feeling like an imposter or that you can't achieve what you want to, look really closely, talk it out with a friend, family member, or therapist, and see if maybe you're feeling burnt out instead. You might find that your self-doubt is actually exhaustion.

Let's start with self-care! It's hard to feel good about yourself when you just plain don't feel good. Self-care can help with that. It's easy to get lost among the scented candles and bubble baths, but self-care is actually much simpler than that. Have you eaten recently and regularly? Are you thirsty? Are you tired and need some sleep? Be sure to take care of your basic needs before making any judgments about yourself and your capabilities. You may find that once you feel physically better, you will feel more equipped to handle external challenges.

Is self-care not working? I consulted a couple of mental health professionals on how to combat feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Some of their tips included finding a source of validation or confidence boosting. It may seem like a bad thing, like fishing for compliments, but we, as human beings, crave and need validation from our peers. We're social animals! There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to say "good job" every now and then. A list of things that might help you get those moments of validation:

Is there something you know you're good at? Do a little of that! If that means drawing or dancing or sorting crayons, it doesn't matter as long as you feel good doing it.

Chat with a friend about your feelings, and you might find they feel the same way! If all of us feel that self-doubt, then maybe we're all wrong. We can't all be imposters, so look for that support and take comfort in knowing that you are not the odd one out.

Self-affirmation. This seems silly, and it's a common therapy tool, but it does work. Say to yourself what you want to believe about yourself, and eventually, you will. One self-affirmation that helps me with Imposter Syndrome and self-doubt: my achievements are real achievements. It's important to remind yourself that not only did you achieve something cool but that you did so because you are capable and not because you are fake. I'll let you in on a little secret; you can't fake success.

My final trick that may seem controversial: just ask. Everyone has felt self-doubt at one point or another. Find someone you trust and simply ask for validation. Your request can sound something like this: "I've been feeling down about my own capabilities recently. I trust you and your opinion and I was hoping you could give me some encouragement to keep going." I've found that writeblr is actually a GREAT place to find encouragement.

Rebuilding your confidence is a very personal task, and what works for one person won't always work for the next. For some people, the self-doubt goes away with a little work. For others, self-doubt can be persistent. Persistent, extreme feelings of self-doubt that result in depressive episodes or anxiety attacks may be symptoms of a larger mental health issue, and if these tips and tricks consistently fail, consider reaching out to a professional who can help you with the underlying cause of these negative feelings.

What about "fake it until you make it?"

"Fake it until you make it" is a common phrase used to encourage others with confidence issues, especially those of us who are younger or newer to an industry, craft, or hobby. In my personal experience, the usefulness of this phrase ebbs and flows with my own sense of self and my attitude toward my writing. This phrase can easily become misconstrued when a writer feels self-doubt. The purpose of this phrase is not to say that we are all imposters but that we can project confidence to others that we may not necessarily feel inside. That doesn't make you a phony. It helps you build yourself up.

Sometimes, this phrase is not so helpful. It's important to recognize that what we are faking is confidence, not competence. It is next to impossible to fake your own capabilities, but you can certainly fake a positive attitude. "Faking it" does not refer to faking success. It refers to faking unerring confidence and belief in oneself. "Making it" is about genuinely believing in yourself. You can "make it" to self-assured confidence by "faking" that confidence you want to have. In some ways, it's like a positive self-affirmation.

Conclusion

I'll repeat it here: you cannot fake success. Your achievements are real, your successes are real, and though sometimes it feels like luck, it was your skills that helped you reach your goals. Whether you believe in your skills or not, luck can only get you so far, you got yourself the rest of the way. Take pride in yourself, and remember, this feeling will pass.

– Indy

[philosophicalconservatism]

Response To Post On Gender Ideology and Free Speech.

lily-on-the-fence

"You state that trans acceptance is an extreme point of view because it requires you to believe certain things about people or else you disrespect them. I'd argue it's more extreme to prevent someone from accessing healthcare because you personally don't agree that it's necessary, despite all the relevant scientific fields disagreeing with you."

Philosophicalconservatism

I am more interested in what the science says and what it doesn't say than I am in what opinions are popular amongst those who practice it.

Dr Jack Drescher one of the scientists responsible for the official decision by the DSM to no longer classify Gender Dysphoria as a disorder (and to rename it) stated outright that this call was more about a shift in cultural values than any groundbreaking new scientific insight.

"All psychiatric diagnoses occur within a cultural context. We know there is a whole community of people out there who are not seeking medical attention [to realign their thinking with their gender of birth ] and live between the two binary categories. We wanted to send the message that the therapist's job isn't to pathologize."

So the game is that the culture appeals to the science, while the scientists appeals to changes in the culture. It would be quite remarkable for science to go from still classifying Gender Dysphoria as a disorder in 2012 to having prescriptive knowledge about it within three or four years that is so absolutely certain it is unquestionable (the scandal with Jordan Peterson was just three years later in 2016 for example). And this is in psychology of all fields, a field with a notorious replicability and reproducibility problem; one of the softest of sciences.

Exactly how certain must we be in this discussion? There is a difference between identifying the latest credible scientific hypotheses, and having knowledge that is so certain that you are willing to irreversibly alter the life of a child over it. Knowledge of the latter type should be of the utmost certainty. But this is why advocates of Gender Ideology do proceed as though the use of hormones and surgery to "transition" individuals is science that is as firmly established as William Harvey's theory of the circulation of blood (It must not be questioned!). Yet almost any particular element of this treatment (much less the entire composite) is highly questionable. Human beings are still accumulating knowledge about the long term effects of consuming red meat, but we have the utmost confidence in our knowledge of the the long-term effects of the chemical and biochemical agents used in these treatments?

Higher risk of blood clots, heart attack, strokes, diabetes, and many other conditions have been connected to gender hormone replacement therapy. This is according to mainstream sources; I strongly encourage the readers to look it up. Can a minor child (whose brain is not even fully developed) make a decision with those kinds of ramifications? To be clear, Conservatives fully support the right of every adult to seek out such treatments, and this Conservative would certainly fight against any attempt to curtail that right. But that right has been in place for decades. Today we are talking about something quite different. We are talking about the violation of children. For children are violated anytime the adults around them attempt to make the kind of decisions for them which they can only make themselves as adults.

[retrobr]

Lazytown Shenanigans Pt. 9

Oh no she's back...

Well... It's been a while, I should say. I haven't been making any Lazytown Shenanigans posts mostly because I haven't watched the show at all all this time, but now I'm kinda at it again (I don't know for how long tho, but still)

I've watched three episodes in these three days, but I would like to describe my impressions of only one of them: the "Purple Panther" one. I don't really feel like rambling about all of them, plus my current mental condition just doesn't allow me, so I hope you buddies understand me 😭

But the "Purple Panther" episode made a really good impression on me, so I can't help but talk about it at least a little bit. Ok well not a little bit, this post is going to be very long (and pretty emotional in some parts), so bear with me I guess :/

Ok well,

"Purple Panther."

The very first thing I'd like to point out is that for some reason it was in this episode that I first noticed the view of the town from above:

Compared to how empty the landscape seemed, for example, in the "Rockin' Robbie" episode, the surroundings here look pretty fascinating; I mean we can see a lot of things here, from numerous reservoirs to Robbie's lair. I legit want to live here

The next thing that kinda amused me, though it rather touched me, was that Sport rejoices in every little thing happening around. The sun came out from behind the clouds — he is happy and laughing. A rainbow appeared in the sky — he is happy and laughing. Be like him guys and enjoy every little thing in your life 🕺

The scene in which Ziggy visited Stingy also amused me a little bit; mostly because of their interaction and damn, the way Stingy said "gold" just sent me to another dimension (though I think it happened later after their meeting, but whatever I don't remember already). What was that "GUULD" buddy like 😭

Also this painting on his wall seemed kinda creepy to me (not creepier than Ziggy's face on this frame but whatever 💀):

Who's that odd man? Why is his image hanging on Stingy's wall? Could it be that this is an image of his father? Because as far as I remember his father is rich, and there are bags of money around the man in the painting. I'm overthinking things too much again

I was a little confused by the lack of a museum in the town to be honest. Like this little bunch of kids had to arrange everything themselves, and yet they didn't have a museum all this time before this event. What was Milford thinking? As mayor he had to make sure that there was something remarkable in the city bruh. He was too busy simping for Bessie apparently

Since I mentioned Bessie, I remembered one minor scene that kinda... surprised me at first?? When she brought her very first telephone and started dialing a phone number on it she started with 555, and I honestly thought that she's going to call Robbie because his phone number starts with 555 😭

Holy smokes I didn't really want to inject any negativity into this post (because I have enough of it in real life atm), but Stingy stunned me a little in a bad way: the bro climbed the stairs to pick up the town clock, of course for personal reasons, fucked up with his "mission," then he was saved by Sport and after all this sloppiness HE ASKED HIM TO GIVE HIM THE CRYSTAL? THE BRO GOT TOO IMPUDENT LIKE WHAT THE HECK-

But that's not all; why in the world did Sport actually give him the crystal.. My boy, this beeping thing on your chest is warning you of people in danger, and that goofster has already had a bad experience with your crystal and like... life doesn't teach you anything huh? I can't blame him because he's sweetly silly and naive, but considering that the person he entrusted his crystal to is Stingy, I don't quite understand why he did it so easily. Even if that was for the sake of the museum.

A couple of words about ROBBIE MY GOOFSTER I haven't rambled about him for so long.. The bro was watching sports elves as usual, even when all the interesting actions were over, but yeah, we cannot blame him for that ok? I like how he sees an opportunity to dedicate his day to Sport and kids in every event that happens outside. The true simp acquires his regalia for a reason /j

Now let's talk about the actions in the museum. I quite liked the paintings and exhibitions there, although some of them looked kind of creepy, like this one:

I don't have anything to say about it bye 💀

But I have something to say about good-looking things. I think glasses suit Milford:

I mean if they had left the glasses as his permanent accessory, he would've looked a lot more mayorish (this isn't even a word but WHO CARES, you know what I mean) than he was originally. And Bessie looks like my grandmother when she was younger, and it makes me feel a certain type of joy 🥹

Not far away from the topic of the mayor, I did not fucking expect that that bronze statue of Milford was not a statue at all but GODDAMN ROBBIE IN DISGUISE. I always thought like haha, stupid Lazytown citizens, they're so easy to fool just by dressing up as another person, but this time this goofster was able to trick even me that's it 😭

From that moment on I completely forgot to take any screenshots because what happened next legit short-circuited my brain

That scene. That scene. In which Robbie tries to steal the crystal. My brothers and sisters in Christ, my vocabulary is not enough to describe my delight when I watched all these manipulations. I feel like I'm about to blow up because WHAT HAHNDNEJEJEKWKWK HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS SOMETHHIIIIIING IT SCRATCHED MY BRAIN IN THE RIGHT PLACE

I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT HE COULD MOVE LIKE THAT. BRO IS SUPER LAZY BUT HE MOVES LIKE A SNAKE HEHEHHEHEHEHH I'M SO GIDDY SORRY I'M AN INADEQUATE PERSON

But that's not all oh noooo no no. First of all, he ohoohho kissed the crystal when he finally got it. The crystal, which is a part of Sport. No I'm not overthinking things again, you're just imagining it. /j /silly

Second of all, his second disguise was so silly at first, but when he began to talk it sent me to another dimension AGAIN. French accent. Wow huh I- ummm.. it made me feel a certain way — giddy again I suppose, because I was smiling like an idiot every time he said something. I just genuinely love it when he imitates all sorts of accents, like French, Scottish, or Russian (when he says "brilliant" with that rolling "r" my brain starts buzzing heehee 🥰)

I'm pretty sure this is one of my absolutely favorite disguises of his from now, his silly moustache just won my heart ngl

Damn I really sound like I'm a crazy goof but whatever. It's not like someone reads it till the end so I can probably say whatever I want lmaoo

Ok I really need to get a more constructive kind of narrative again, I really probably sound like a freak. I was somehow surprised that Robbie started jumping rope on his own will, justifying it by saying that he thinks better that way. Hmmm ok ok mister, we, of course, will believe it. I just really didn't understand why he started doing it, except that he probably needed to ruin the exhibits in some way lol

Without going far away from the topic of my favorite sillies, it was somehow hard for me to watch how difficult it was for Sport to grab an apple. My boy struggled so intensely that he even gave up a couple of times... Don't get me wrong, I really like Robbie and his goofiness, but all those mean things that he does to Sport make me feel kinda sick sometimes. Poor Sport doesn't deserve any of this shit; the boy's too sweet too kind too nice to be tortured :(

I'll probably omit all the other details about the chase scene because this post is already too long, but I want to point out one thing from the final scene.

Sport forgave Stingy and said that 'it's alright to make mistakes as long as you learn from them,' and it clearly was directed towards Stingy, but dear... It was, uh, your own fault to give the crystal to Stingy in the first place because such a situation already happened in the past, and you very obviously haven't learned a lesson from it. Stingy has some blame on him, of course, but Sport is an adult man and he should've realized that if he gave away his crystal it wouldn't end well. So he was the one who made a mistake imo..

Well, that's kinda it. This post came out long and in some parts inadequate again, as usual, so I doubt that someone will read it till the end. But if someone did, thank you heehee :33

Have a good day y'all. The shit in my life has been going kinda crazy lately, so I hope every one of you is happy and safe 💜

[animentality]

I’ve seen some of your posts about Star Trek, and decided that I want to start watching it. Where do you think I should start?

Oh BOY.

See, this is a fascinating question. Technically, there are several places you could hop in. I will give you the pros and cons of each.

The short answer is honestly The Next Generation (TNG) or Deep Space Nine (DS9).

TNG is on the edge of accessible and non-accessible. It's a little dated, but still stands up well to the test of time. Its stories are self-contained and often don't need context from the greater world or previous episodes. It's thoughtful and optimistic about the human condition and highly intelligent.

But DS9 is easier for the modern TV watcher to start with, because it's more realistic, grounded, and it fleshes out its characters and their interpersonal dramas more.

It's also this clean mix between episodic and more serialized, so you'll get the fun and outstanding standalone episodes, like TNG's greatest hits, but mixed in with a fascinating overarching narrative, which will have a lot of fun space battles and space politics and something you can really sit down and get invested in.

so I'm biased to DS9, as you can tell.

But I concede to TNG too.

That's my short answer.

I'll also give you my short answer proposed order too:

DS9 or TNG first

Then watch DS9 or TNG, depending on which one you picked to watch firrst.

Followed by VOY.

You don't have to watch TOS, but if you're invested by that point, it might be fun.

Then skip ENT.

And from there, you get into modern Trek.

I'd give Discovery a try, because it's definitely high octane, easy for a modern viewer to get into.

But skip Picard, which is just...awful.

Then definitely watch Lower Decks, which is really fun.

Then check out Strange New Worlds, which is pretty good.

That's my short proposed order.

But if you care...here is my LONG answer, where I explain the pros and cons of starting at different spots.

TOS: The BEGINNING.

The Original Series, commonly shorted to TOS by fans.

Pros: This is the literal beginning of it all. If you wanted to really get into the lore of Star Trek and be this mega nerd who has a strong opinion about every following Star Trek interpretation, and get your nerd credentials, then this is a good place to start. Plus, some people don't mind the "oldness" of it, because it's simple, it's silly, and it's fun. The characters themselves are fun, and memorable. The episode plots range from ridiculous and batshit insane to thoughtful and somber and philosophical. You get to watch the OGs, Spock and Kirk and Uhura and Scotty and Bones, who are all iconic in their own way. It's also a nice little ensemble of goofballs, and you'll get to understand and appreciate the silly little TOS memes. Plus, I personally find it iconic how the TOS fandom is still going strong...after literally fifty seven years. That's icon status, baby.

Cons: IT REALLY IS VERY OLD. And kind of hard to get into, if you're not looking to watch a show that is VERY dated. I fully admit that I haven't re-watched TOS much. It's just not everyone's cup of tea, you know? It has its great moments, but I very rarely recommend TOS to people because I don't want to scare them off from Star Trek! So I wouldn't recommend starting here. Maybe watch it later, after other series, to get a well rounded view of the world, but TOS is sort of an odd place to start for the modern TV watcher. Ironically.

TNG: The SUCCESSOR

The Next Generation, commonly shortened to TNG.

Pros: TNG is iconic in its own way. It has its own memorable crew of Jean Luc Picard, William Riker, Deanna Troi, Geordi LaForge, Beverly Crusher, Worf, our best robot boy Data. It has aged much better than TOS, with a greater number of standalone episodes and thought provoking plots. It has some of the most brilliant non-serialized writing of all time, with great social and political commentary that hadn't ever been discussed in TV at that point, and honestly aren't even being discussed now. Its highs are peak Star Trek, with some of the most intelligent analysis of what it means to be an evolved human being ever created for television. It takes a serious look at many aspects of humanity through the lens of "alien" troubles, and its philosophical ramblings are deep, rich, and often thickly layered. That being said...

Cons: It's highly episodic, so you won't find yourself really "gripped" by one single or even multiple plot threads. If you don't like non-serialized stories, then well, most of the stories are designed to be enjoyed without the context of the rest of them. Also, some of it is wildly dated. ESPECIALLY the first season, which is a fucking mess, with like...almost no redeeming episodes. The pilot is AWFUL. The female characters are handled...in such a sexist way that it's honestly kind of enraging. Now it DOES get better, much better, by mid season two, and pretty much starts pumping out nothing but bangers by season 3, but... there will still be some dated stuff. Plus, even the really good episodes are still paced rather slowly. So keep that in mind, if you want to start with TNG....

ALSO, extra note: The crew has great chemistry with each other, but it doesn't do much in terms of fleshing them out in the early seasons. Gene Roddenberry, the creator, really didn't want the crew to have interpersonal dramas, or even want to show them relaxing or hanging out at all. Later seasons you'll see more character moments, which are great, but... TNG and TOS kind of skimp out on showing you the human elements. You aren't often allowed to get close to the characters, see their inner lives, their personal feelings about situations, the issues they have, with themselves or others. There's a distance, this professional aura to the show, which can be kind of daunting and a little alienating, no pun intended. So keep that in mind...

But now we come to the show I am most biased towards, and shamelessly.

DS9- The REALIST

Deep Space Nine, shortened to DS9.

I must start this segment by admitting, DS9 is my favorite and I am fucking biased. That being said, I first watched it when I was 9, and didn't have any problem understanding it without seeing the other Treks. There are also a million other things it has going for it that would make it the easiest place for a modern TV watcher to hop in.

So full disclosure, this IS where I would recommend you start. But anyway:

Pros: Like I said, it did away with some of that professional distance that TNG was so well known for. The characters are richer, more fleshed out, more flawed. They don't like each other in the beginning. They have to earn their found family, and that just makes it sweeter and more poignant when they finally begin to see themselves as a family. DS9 is the "grittier," edgier Star Trek, the one that seriously tests the hopeful optimism of the future...but it never breaks it. That's important to note. It still understands the idea that humans have evolved to be better.

It covers more controversial topics in a more straightforward way. War, genocide, fascism, political instability, coups, war crimes, espionage, propaganda, religious dogma, trauma, it can get pretty heavy. But there still is this hopefulness to how characters grow and change and heal from past traumas. It also fleshes out the aliens more than TNG or TOS, taking a more nuanced perspective of them, and even has individuals who fight back against the "mono" culture that was so popular in early star trek.

As mentioned above, it also blends serialized with non serialized. You get standalone episodes, and episodes that follow up on pre-existing plots. That's where you get the nuances and the depth and the richness of the universe, as well as the interpersonal relationships of the crew.

Now for the Cons:

NONE. It's perfect.

Just kidding.

Some people don't like DS9 because of its darkness, but in just terms of where to start...I agree that there ARE some things that come from TNG that you might appreciate more if you watched TNG first. It does mostly explain these things, but the flesh comes after the bones, you know. Also, DS9 has its weaknesses in season 1, same as TNG. It has some real stinkers. It doesn't get going until season 3, and also? You know how I said it's political?

Well, some of the politics are reallllly boring. Not very sci fi, dare I say. You might find it better to watch with a guide that can tell you what to skip, because some of the early stuff is pretty bad. It also took some time to find its footing, which means there are some elements to it that might come across as just bizarre.

But anyway.

As I said, my favorite Star Trek, and where I personally started. But anyway.

Moving on...

Voyager- the Troubled

Voyager, commonly shortened to VOY.

Pros: First female captain, and she's very charismatic. For feminism reasons alone, you could start with VOY. It also has the most interesting beginning concept too. Voyager is a warship that gets dragged out and stranded in the Delta Quadrant, which is far, far from where Star Trek normally operates. So it's about a crew, stranded in what is essentially hostile alien territory, with no one to help them. Their whole mission is just to get back home, which will take them 70 years to get back to. So it has that going for it. It also has its own fascinating little crew, which has great interpersonal relationships and some great sci fi standalone stories. It does have its own overarching stories as well, which makes for some fun action and drama. Also in terms of understanding what's happening without seeing other Star Treks? Pretty good. Less connected than DS9, mostly, with a few glaring exceptions.

That being said...

Cons: Just like TNG and DS9, atrocious first 3 seasons. Also, Voy is sort of known for being a little sloppy. The writing is all over the board, ranging from mediocre to absolutely dogshit to not bad actually to pretty decent. It's a fun premise, but it's squandered a little. Characters are also inconsistent, depending on who's writing that particular episode. Unlike other Treks, it also doesn't quite meet the standard of mediocre, not even by season 3. It also doesn't flesh out some of its characters, and squanders a lot of their potential. It also has a very strange and rushed ending...also, it tries to be as edgy as DS9, but without the emotional depth, which often comes across as distasteful and even dare I say, boorish. So it has a lot going against it.

Moving to....

Enterprise- the Yikes

Shortened name: ENT

Full fucking disclosure. I fucking hate Enterprise.

Its stories are bad, most of the time. Its best episodes are still mediocre, by other Star Trek standards. Its overarching stories are terrible, with only a few even potentially interesting.

Also it got fucking cancelled by season 4, so its finale is baaaad.

Don't start with Enterprise.

Pros: Archer is great. I love Trip. T'Pol is adequate. So that's three good characters. There's one plot that's kind of cool.

Cons: It only has 3 good characters. And they are so waaaasted. As is that one plot.

So.

Moving on.

Now we get to modern trek.

Star Trek Discovery - the Doing Its Best

Nomenclature: DIS

Alright, full disclosure again. I watched two seasons of it, before quitting. But I can tell you this.

Pros: It's exciting and fresh and high quality. No more dorky little alien suits. State of the art CGI. High octane sci fi stories. Lots of death and drama and characters all hate each other and have trauma and don't want to deal with it. It's definitely made for the modern audience, and it has this like...disdain for other Star Treks. So if you haven't seen the other Star Treks, don't worry, it also has not. Not a bad place to start, if you don't care much for older shows and want something fun and new and set in space, and you like seeing phasers blow stuff up.

Cons: If you were interested in Star Trek for its hopeful future, that isn't what DIS is. DIS is more like, what if we had this one character and we focus on just her, and the rest of the crew doesn't matter? It's also sloppily written.

Now extra note: my MOM says Dis gets good by season 3. And I am inclined to believe her, because she is a diehard trekkie, and a true trekkie knows, season 3 is like...always where a Star Trek show gets off the ground.

But again. I have to admit, I never got there.

And I don't know if you'd personally like it. Maybe, if you're a fan of the more..exciting space action sci fis. If you like mega gritty war stuff, and torturing aliens to make your warp drive go fast.

But in terms of places to start...? Again, not a bad place if older star trek seems dull.

Discovery certainly is modern and not dull.

Picard- the Cash Grab

Name: PIC

Do not start with Picard. You won't get much out of it if you haven't seen TNG. You won't get much out of it if you have seen TNG.

Pros: It's good for...if you haven't seen Patrick Stewart play Picard in along time.

Cons: It's kind of terrible and messy. It also relies way too much on nostalgia and preexisting knowledge of TNG. So definitely do not bother with Picard as your first Star Trek.

Lower Decks: The Satirical Love Letter

Just called Lower Decks, I think.

Don't start here either, it is VERY dependent on you having seen every Star Trek ever. It's pretty good, but...it's satirical and to understand it well, you would've had to have seen the other Treks.

Strange New Worlds: the Fixer Upper

Shorthand: SNW

Pros: It's the only modern Star Trek that actually seems fond of the original Star Treks, while also being pretty decent just on its own. It brings back the optimism, while maintaining the high quality CGI. Its interpersonal relationships aren't bad. The overarching plot is only somewhat important, and it goes back to form, on that whole episodic thing. If you were allergic to bad rubber alien masks, and wanted to watch something from this era, SNW is the best place to start.

Cons: It might bore you a little if you weren't already a diehard Trekkie. It does depend a little bit on you knowing preexisting properties, just so far as the little wink wink, nudge nudges. It's also a little weird in that the crew doesn't quite live up to the fleshed out nuances of DS9, nor does it rise to the intelligence of TNG's plots.

So there you have it!

This took me almost two hours to write!

I don't know why I wrote it.

Something is wrong with me.

I love Star Trek.

Even the ones I criticized the most, I still like most of them.

I fully accept the Star Trek fandom's wrath too.

I know some people are bigger fans of the other Treks.

But this is my opinion, you know?

Which means I'm right, and everyone else is wrong.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 10

Warnings: None. However, future chapters will contain sexual content so readers that are under the age of 18 may have to skip those chapters (However they are very few so those under the age of 18 can still read a majority of this book. However please keep note of the warnings).

Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.

💙💙💙💙

𝕸𝖞 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖍 𝖜𝖆𝖘 twisting and turning at dinner. Snape had been. . . well I didn't really know what emotion had played out on his face. He'd kind've frozen, and then of course, I'd said there was nothing we could do about it if it was already hoodwinked and he turned kind've purple. Perhaps it was a medical condition. Shock could do that to people. Or maybe he just cared about me. . . no, I'm sure that wasn't the reason. Shock, definitely shock.

The other students were excited, talking about the possible house champions. I mean, if Cedric did get it and I was the second, well it was a double Hufflepuff win which would be nice. I wondered who the others were and why I had seen only my name coming out of the goblet. It was a bit funny, I'd never really seen a vision where I was involved. I only assumed that was because I saw the visions from my point of view.

The Halloween feast was just as good as yesterdays, but not as many people seemed to have enjoyed it. Maybe because two feasts in a row is not as good as one feast every couple of months. The Bulgarians seemed to enjoy themselves though. A few boys were sitting with Krum and I today. I didn't speak much, mostly listening to everything they had to say. Some of the stuff they talked about was fascinating enough that I momentarily forgot about the Cup.

Ron had asked me to get a signed autograph from Krum but I figured he could get it himself if he really, really wanted it.

When Dumbledore stood up, the Great Hall got silent very quickly. I looked up at the teachers table. Madam Maxime and Karkaroff were both tense. Karkaroff's eyes met mine- or maybe they were looking at the students behind me, I wasn't sure. Ludo looked extremely excited and was winking at various students in the crowd though I noticed he particularly avoided the Gryffindor table. Mr. Crouch had a stoic face on an looked utterly bored. I met Snape's eyes. I held them for a second before looking away. He looked how I felt- sick.

"Well, the goblet is almost ready to make its decision. I estimate that it requires one more minute. Now, when the champions' names are called," and here Dumbledore's eyes briefly flickered over to mine. So Snape had told him- good, "I would ask them please to come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber where they will be receiving their first instructions." Dumbledore motioned to a door behind the staff table.

He took out his wand and waved it. All the candles that floated in the air were extinguished and so were the flames in the lanterns on the walls. Only the candles in the pumpkins stayed lit. The Goblet of Fire was almost painful to look at- the blue white flames were extremely bright. My stomach grew even more nervous and I thought that I might just throw up.

I counted down the seconds in my head and when I reached 0, the flames inside the goblet turned red. Sparks began to fly from it and a tongue of flame shot into the air, a piece of parchment fluttered out of it. The whole room gasped but my mouth wouldn't open. I think it was glued shut. Despite being fairly certain my name would come out last- my stomach turned.

"The Champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum!" Dumbledore read. The Bulgarians cheered and I turned and looked at him and said, "Congratulations." with as big of a smile as I could manage. He smiled back and got up and slouched to the door that Dumbledore had indicated. Everyone could hear Karkaroff shouting, "Bravo Viktor! Knew you had it in you!"

The clapping and chatting died down and everyone's focus was on the Goblet once again. It turned red and shot up another flame and a second piece of parchment- a frilly thing, all folded up like a circular fan- came down and Dumbledore reached up and grabbed it.

"The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!" Dumbledore announced. She didn't get as much applause from her own group. In fact, many of the girls burst into tears except those from Ombrelune who stared stoically ahead. Fleur Delacour was a girl who looked like a Veela. Her long silvery hair was nearly as long as mine, all the way down to her butt, which she shook as she walked up the aisle between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.

When she went through the door, everyone stopped cheering immediately. The excitement could be tasted in the air and I wished that I could enjoy it. A third parchment slip shot up into the air and Dumbledore shot his hand up to grab it. A pause and then, "The Hogwarts Champion, is Cedric Diggory."

I managed to forget about the fourth slip as I joined in cheering for Cedric with everyone else. I jumped to my feet with the others, screaming. The only slight difference between my screams and the others screams were they were happy, I sounded a bit panicked. Cedric grinned at me as he passed by and headed off toward the chamber behind the teacher's table.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore shouted, trying to keep things normal though his eyes flickered to me once again. I had already sat back down, staring at the table, trying not to be sick. Could I be wrong? I'd been wrong about other things before. . . the polecat, for instance. . . and Hermione's badges. . . but wrong about something this big? I put a hand over my mouth, leaning on my elbow. I was going to be sick. . . I was going to be horribly sick.

"Well, we now have our three champions. I am sure I can count upon all of you, including the remaining students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, to give your champions every ounce of support you can muster. By cheering your champion on, you will contribute-" And then he stopped talking as the goblet's fire turned red again, sending up another piece of parchment. The whole room gasped.

Dumbledore reached up and grabbed it, looking at me again. I found it difficult to swallow. He opened his mouth to read- what I supposed was my name- and then closed it, frowning. I felt hope come. Was there no name on it? That was the best case scenario. I found I was half-risen from my seat and then he said, "Harry Potter."

I sat back down heavily, stunned. I had been wrong again? My hands trembled and I placed them on the table, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. What was happening? Were my visions slipping? Why was I seeing things only halfway? What was wrong with me!?

Professor McGonagall had gotten to her feet to speak to Professor Dumbledore. I glanced over at the Gryffindor table and saw Harry was saying something to Hermione and Ron. But his words didn't seem to register with them.

"Harry Potter! Harry! Up here, if you please!"

Hermione pushed Harry. Harry got to his feet, walking slowly up between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables. He reached Dumbledore who, unsmiling, said, "Through the door, Harry." He looked at me again.

Harry went through the door and then I got up, and sprinted to the top of the stairs. Professor McGonagall made to move as though to stop me but Dumbledore touched her arm and I went past them. People started to murmur and I sprinted down the corridor.

Harry was standing to the side while Cedric, Krum, and Fleur all stood in front of the fireplace, looking at him.

"What is it? Do zey want us back in ze Hall?" Fleur was asking.

"No." I said as Harry just shook his head. Harry looked at me. "Elizabeth, what's happening?" He asked me in a strange voice.

"I don't know." I said, panicking. "I didn't foresee it."

Cedric had turned at the sound of my voice but didn't ask anything as Ludo Bagman came into the room.

"Extraordinary! Absolutely Extraordinary! Gentlemen. . . lady, may I introduce- incredibly though it may seem- the fourth Triwizard champion?" Bagman said, having taken Harry's arm, and led him to the fireplace. Viktor Krum straightened up at these words, his face darkening. Cedric looked from Bagman, to Harry, to me, trying to find something out. Fleur however, tossed her hair and said, "Oh, vairy funny joke, Meester Bagman."

"Joke? No, no, not at all! Harry's name just came out of the Goblet of Fire!" Ludo said and he sounded positively joyful about it. I thought I might be sick again and Harry looked the same way.

"But evidently zair 'as been a mistake, 'E cannot compete. 'E is too young."

"Well. . . it is amazing. But as you know, the age restriction was only imposed this year as an extra safety measure. And as his name's come out of the goblet. . . I mean, I don't think there can be any ducking out at this stage. . . It's down in the rules, you're obliged. . . Harry will just have to do the best he-"

The door opened again and Harry and I turned to look to see who was coming. It was Dumbledore followed by Mr. Crouch, Karkaroff, Madam Maxime, McGonagall and Snape.

"Madam Maxime!" Fleur said at once. "Zey are saying zat zis little boy is to compete also!"

Through my fear, confusion, and shame I snorted in annoyance. Little boy? Would I have been little girl? My stomach did another turn and I sat down and put my head on my knees before I passed out. I really shouldn't have been taking this so hard, but contestants had died in the past. Part of me wondered if I was glad it wasn't me, or if I wished it was me so that it wouldn't be Harry. Strange though- I was so excited for Cedric.

"What is ze meaning of zis, Dumbly-dorr." She said impatiently.

"I'd rather like to know that myself, Dumbledore." I heard Karkaroff saying. He sounded close by to me. "Two Hogwarts champions? I don't remember anyone telling me the host school is allowed two champions- or have I not read the rules carefully enough?" He gave a short laugh.

"But Harry's not competing under Hogwarts." I managed to say, looking up. "It's impossible for the Goblet to pick two from any one place. Whoever put Harry's name in the Goblet put him down under a different school."

Everyone was silent for a moment and then Karkaroff said, "That as it may be, we were under the impression that the Age Line was to keep out younger contestants, Dumbledore. Otherwise, we would, of course, have brought along a wider selection of candidates from our own schools."

"It's not one's fault but Potters, Karkaroff. Don't go blaming Dumbledore for Potter's determination to break rules. He has been crossing lines ever since he arrived here-" Snape said softly, his black eyes alight with mischief. I glared at him.

"Thank you Severus." Dumbledore said firmly and it was hard not to grin. Professor Dumbledore looked from me, to Harry and asked very calmly, "Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?" he asked.

'No." Harry said.

"Did you ask an older student to put it into the Goblet of fire for you?"

"No." Harry said again.

"Ah, but of course 'e is lying!" Madam Maxime announced.

"No he isn't." I snapped.

"I don't know how you would know that." Karkaroff asked, looking at me sharply. "Unless you've been with him every moment of the day?"

I blushed. I certainly wasn't going to tell the foreigners about my vi-

"Oh, but of course!" Bagman said excitedly. He was so excited I was surprised when he didn't clap his hands together with joy. "You would've seen it through your visions if Harry had put his name in the cup."

I closed my eyes. Lovely- now they knew. "Right." I said bitterly. "And I didn't."

Madam Maxime didn't seem to care about my visions, but Karkaroff was giving me a calculated look now. Lovely. I looked over at the other Professors and saw that both Snape and Dumbledore were giving Karkaroff a guarded look now.

"Dumbly-dorr must 'ave made a mistake wiz ze line." Madam Maxime was saying.

"It is possible, of course." Dumbledore said mildly, looking away from Karkaroff who was still looking at me.

"Dumbledore, you know perfectly well you did not make a mistake! Really, what nonsense! Harry could not have crossed the line himself, and as Professor Dumbledore believes that he did not persuade an older student to do it for him, I'm sure that should be good enough for everybody else!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed, throwing a nasty look at Professor Snape.

"Well he didn't put it in." I muttered, but quietly because no one seemed to be listening to my opinions anyways. I was peering into the future again, trying to see what I'd missed the first time. It was strange. . . the names were coming so easily now. . . there was Harry's name on the slip of paper. . .why had I seen something different before?

"Mr. Crouch. . . Mr. Bagman." Karkaroff said slowly. "You are our-er- objective judges. Surely you will agree that this is most irregular?"

Bagman was wiping his face with a handkerchief, looking the most excited out of anyone in this room. I licked my lips and stood up. I had a mind to leave but Dumbledore said softly, "Miss Kane. . ." I stood next to Harry instead, glaring at the floor.

Mr. Crouch spoke curtly. "We must follow the rules, and the rules state clearly that those people whose names come out of the Goblet of Fire are bound to compete in the tournament."

He looked over at me and we kept eye contact while a majority of the rest of the conversation took place.

"Well, Barty knows the rule book back to front." Bagman said as though that was the end of the discussion.

Had Voldemort already visited his house? Had the visit not happened? I didn't really know any of the details- they were hazy. What was he thinking about, looking at me. Still, neither of us looked away from each other.

"I insist upon resubmitting the names of the rest of my students." His stupid smile was gone. "You will set up the Goblet of Fire once more, and we will continue adding names until each school has two champions. It's only fair, Dumbledore."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes but didn't say anything.

"But Karkaroff, it doesn't work like that. The Goblet of Fire's just gone out- it won't reignite until the start of the next tournament-"

"-In which Durmstrang will most certainly not be competing! After all our meeting and negotiations and compromises, I little expected something of this nature to occur! I have half a mind to leave now!"

"Empty threat, Karkaroff. They've all got to compete. Binding magical contract, like Dumbledore said. Convenient, eh?" Uncle Moody said, having just entered the room.

Staring into Barty Crouch's eyes was like having a silent conversation. It felt like he was trying to tell me something and I wasn't grasping it. But now, at Moody's entrance, we held eyes for another second and then he looked away, stepping back into the shadows again. I looked at where Uncle Moody had just walked in.

"Convenient? I'm afraid I don't understand you, Moody." Karkaroff said in fake disdain.

"Don't you? It's very simple, Karkaroff. Someone put Potter's name in that goblet knowing he'd have to compete if it came out."

"Evidently, someone 'oo whished to give 'Ogwarts two bites of ze apple!" Madam Maxime cried out.

"I quite agree, Madam Maxime." Karkaroff said, bowing to her. "I shall be lodging complaints with the Ministry of Magic and the International Confederation of Wizards-"

"If anyone's got reason to complain, it's Potter. But. . . funny thing. . . I don't hear him saying a word. . ." Moody growled at Karkaroff.

"Why should 'e complain? 'E 'as ze chance to compete 'asn't 'e? We 'ave all been 'oping to be chosen for weeks and weeks! Ze honor for our schools! A thousand Galleons in prize money- zis is a chance many would die for!"

"Maybe someone's hoping Potter is going to die for it." Moody said with a growl.

There was silence, a tense one, and then I gasped. Everyone's eyes shot to me and Professor McGonagall said, "Miss Kane, perhaps you should sit down before you pass out."

I did feel horrible, realizing what I'd just realized. "I think I'm going to be sick." I muttered and I ran from the room. I sprinted to the bathroom, the farthest from the Great Hall as I could get, and went inside, locking myself in a stall.

Of course! Hadn't Voldemort said that Bertha Jorkins had given him good information? Being in the ministry meant that she would've known about the Tournament. But how had he gotten here? I supposed it was possible that Pettigrew could have come in rat form. . . but Voldemort didn't trust him enough to leave by himself. . . nor was Voldemort in the position to be alone. Voldemort also had said he needed another servant. Who was it? Karkaroff? He was the only possible explanation. . . maybe Madam Maxime? I highly doubted it.

Thinking of how Voldemort had killed Bertha Jorkins and now Harry might die made me lurch over the toilet and throw up. I'd lost my parents. I couldn't lose Harry too. And with my visions being unreliable, how was I to keep him from dying?

"Miss Kane?" Professor McGonagall's voice rang out through the bathroom some minutes later. "Are you in here?"

"Yeah." I croaked. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you." She said, sounding sympathetic.

"Sure." I muttered. I waited a few more seconds to make sure I wasn't going to throw up and then got up, flushed, and left the bathroom with her.

"Are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

I nearly nodded yes and then shook my head. "Harry's in danger. I hope Dumbledore doesn't let him compete."

She didn't answer and I knew she didn't want to be the one to tell me that he had to compete. I knew it already, but still. . .

Dumbledore was waiting in his office with Uncle Moody standing on the right side of the room, leaning on his cane. Snape was on the left side of the room, standing erect, with crossed arms. Professor McGonagall stayed near me, though she left me a little room.

"Are you feeling better Miss Kane?" Dumbledore asked kindly. He was standing behind his desk, looking preoccupied.

"Not really." I said weakly. "But I know I owe an explanation."

"Perhaps you could explain what upset you so greatly?" Dumbledore said, peering over his half-moon glasses.

I nodded and told him about the dream I had over the summer. I included every detail possible from how the room looked, to who was in the room, and every word that was said. I had thought about it so much, I had memorized every detail. About their mentioning the Quidditch World Cup, Wormtail offering to use a different wizard or witch, Voldemort's instance on using Harry, Bertha Jorkins, Voldemort's need for another helper. . . but I paused about them mentioning me.

Dumbledore seemed to notice my hesitancy. "Go on. Every detail is important."

So I reluctantly told him what was said about me. Snape's hands balled up into fists when I got to the part of Voldemort wanting to use me for my visions. McGonagall had her mouth over her hand. Uncle Moody leaned forward on his walking stick, something foreign behind his eyes. And then I finished up with the Muggle man coming into the room and Voldemort killing him.

"Why haven't you told the Ministry about Bertha Jorkins?" Snape asked quickly.

I rubbed my head in frustration. "Because this was a dream." I emphasized. "This wasn't a vision. Besides, Fudge wouldn't believe me last year about Sirius Black, so why would he believe me about Voldemort rising again using Peter Pettigrew- who Fudge believes to be dead? And besides," I added on hotly. "My visions haven't been entirely reliable this year, have they? Who can say if the dream even took place?"

"What was the Muggle man's name?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

I racked my brain for that information. "I don't think it was ever said."

Dumbledore rummaged in his desk for a moment and tossed me a newspaper and said, "Was that him?"

I read the headline: Frank Bryce found Murdered in the Old Riddle House

Riddle house. I snorted. That was hilarious. There was a picture of the man and I recognized him immediately. I tossed the newspaper back to him, "That's him, yes."

Dumbledore nodded, "I thought so."

"You have a lot more faith in my visions than I do." I snapped. Then I sucked in air because I shouldn't be mad at Dumbledore. It wasn't his fault that my visions were wacked.

Dumbledore looked at me in mild surprise, "You've always been right before."

"Exactly!" I said, exasperated. "And I've never slipped up more in my entire life! I'm foreseeing things and they aren't happening! There's something wrong with me and I don't think you should be relying on me until I figure out why I'm all messed up!"

"Your visions don't define you." Professor McGonagall said sharply.

"Maybe not." I vented. "but they're just about the only reason I ever end up here anyways so when I don't have anything to share, I'm pretty useless."

Snape's face was a strange shade of red. I wasn't sure what he was mad about, but I didn't really want to find out.

"I've known you for a long time, before I knew about your visions." Uncle Moody said, leaning on his walking stick. "Even as a kid, your insight's always been good. I trust that."

I blushed slightly, a bit pleased, but kept my face stoic. "Can I go?" I muttered.

"Of course. I'm sure Mr. Diggory is looking for you to celebrate." Dumbledore said, a bit bemused. "Oh, one last thing."

"Yes?" I asked, trying not to sound exasperated.

"Is there something about Barty Crouch that you wish to tell me about?" Dumbledore asked.

I was so glad I didn't blush and I said, "Nothing at all."

Dumbledore nodded once and then said, "You may go."

I left without looking at anyone and hurried from the room. But I couldn't bring myself to go to the Hufflepuff common room. Instead, I hurried to the entrance hall and slipped out through the doors. I walked down to the lake, and walked away from the Durmstrang ship. I didn't like Karkaroff.

I took my shoes off, putting my feet in the water and then sitting down on the gravel and rocks. I stared out at the lake. A bunch of flashes of visions burst into my mind suddenly.

"Get out of my head!" I shouted, pressing my hands to the side of my head. Then, putting my head on my knees, I started to cry.

I couldn't help it- really. I had tried to hold things in for too long. I hadn't want to cry in front of dad so I'd bottled everything up. I hadn't cried for a long time and it was a bit of relief to let go of all my feelings.

I sobbed into my knees, trying to keep quiet. Then I felt arms slip around my shoulders, pulling me into a sort of awkward hug. I wasn't sure who it was until I felt the long hair against my neck. Snape.

I put a hand on his arm, pulling it closer. I was being so stupid, I knew, but I needed this sort of closeness.

"You're not useless you know." Snape said, his chin resting on my head.

I hiccupped. I didn't want to cry in front of him either. I quickly bottled the tears, wiping them off my face with my sleeve. "Sorry." I said.

"I don't want you to apologize." He muttered, "and you don't have to stop crying either."

"I hate when people watch me cry." I muttered.

"Technically, I can't see you anyways." Snape said lightly and I laughed. It was a hoarse laugh, but it was a laugh.

"Thanks." I said, feeling better. "You didn't have to follow me, you know. I'm not running away or anything."

At first, I thought he wasn't going to answer and then he said, "You should stay away from the Durmstrang ship. Karkaroff..."

"He wants to use my for my visions too?" I asked bitterly. "I figured as much."

"Something like that." Snape muttered.

I noticed that with his chin on my head and his arms around my shoulders, he was hugging me a bit like how dad might've held me as a little girl.

I turned around, burying my head into his shoulder. He rearranged his arms and I felt much better. This was a different type of hold.

I wasn't sure how long it was before I said, "I should go to the common room. Maybe they've stopped celebrating."

"You hate celebrations?" Snape asked, sounding amused.

"No, not usually. Only because I want to go to bed but its' Cedric, you know? And since we're close I have to stay up."

"You could. . ." He started and then stopped and quickly said, "never mind."

"What?" I asked, interested and sat up, looking into his eyes. I was aware that we were very close, though it was dark.

"It's nothing." He said huskily, moving to get up.

"Well now you have to tell me." I said, teasingly, getting up as well.

"I was going to offer my office, the way I did in first year when Quirrell. . ." he drifted off again. "But you're right, I reckon they've stopped celebrating."

My cheeks were burning and I was glad it was so dark out. "I'll take up your offer anyways."

💙💙💙💙

𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝕴 𝖜𝖔𝖐𝖊 up, I tried to figure out where I was, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Of course, Professor Snape's office. I quickly rolled out of bed, pulling on my robes and shoes. I made the bed quickly and noticed that he was still sleeping on the floor, snoring.

My heart thudded in my chest and I froze. His silky black hair was swept across his face. He looked peaceful. He never looked like that when he was awake. I crept over to where he was and moved the hair out of his face. His hair was so soft. I touched his lips with one finger lightly. His snoring stopped and started up again, giving me a heart attack.

I reckoned he was awake. So, I bent down, brushed my lips against his cheek and whispered in his ear, "Thank you."

Then I stood and walked calmly out of the room. But once I closed the door behind me, I felt giddy and I left the classroom in great spirits.

I met Hermione coming out of the Great Hall. She had a stack of toast in a napkin, butter running through each piece onto the next.

"I'm going to get Harry, want to come?" She asked.

I nodded. I followed her up to the Gryffindor common room. The portrait opened before we even reached it and Harry came out and looked at us for a moment. "Hello, I brought you this... Want to go for a walk?" Hermione asked.

"Good idea." Harry said gratefully and then looked at me as we started walking and said, "Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "I didn't want to compete in the Triwizard Tournament and when I had a vision my name was going to come out, I just didn't feel good. The pressure in there was just a little too much. Dumbledore's letting you compete?"

Harry nodded. As we were outside now, walking around the lake, eating, Harry told Hermione what had happened and caught me up with the other parts after I left.

"Well, of course I knew you hadn't entered yourself. The look on your face when Dumbledore read out your name! But the question is, who did put it in? Because Moody's right, Harry. . . I don't think any student could have done it. . . they'd never be able to fool the Goblet, or get over Dumbledore's-"

"Have you seen Ron?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Erm. . . yes. . . he was at breakfast." Hermione said after some hesitation.

"Does he still think I entered myself?" Harry asked.

"Well. . . no, I don't think so. . . not really." Hermione said a bit awkwardly.

"He's jealous." I piped up.

"Jealous? Jealous of what? He wants to make a prat of himself in front of the whole school, does he?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Look." Hermione said patiently, "it's always you who gets all the attention, you know it is. I know it's not your fault, I know you don't ask for it. . . but- well- you know, Ron's got all these brothers to compete against at home, and you're his best friend, and you're really famous- he's always shunted to one side whenever people see you, and he puts up with it, and he never mentions it, but I suppose this is just one time too many. . ."

"Great, Really great. Tell him from me I'll swap any time he wants. Tell him from me he's welcome to it. . . People gawping at my forehead everywhere I go. . ."

"I'm not telling him anything." Hermione said shortly. "Tell him yourself. It's the only way to sort this out."

"I'm not running around after him trying to make him grow up! Maybe he'll believe I'm not enjoying myself once I've got my neck broken or-" Harry said loudly.

"That's not funny." I snapped at him.

"That's not funny at all." Hermione agreed anxiously. "Harry, I've been thinking- you know what we've got to do, don't you? Straight away, the moment we get back tot he castle?"

"Yeah, give Ron a good kick up the ass?"

"Write to Sirius. You've got to tell him what's happened. He asked you to keep him posted on everything that's going on at Hogwarts. . . It's almost as if he expected something like this to happen. I brought some parchment and a quill out with me-" Hermione looked at me and I nodded.

"I know what the letter says." I said. Or at least, I hoped that it did.

"Come off it." Harry said, looking at us like we were crazy. "He came back to the country just because my scar twinged. He'll probably come bursting right into the castle if I tell him someone's entered me in the Triwizard Tournament-"

"He'll find out anyways." I said. "It'll be in the Daily Prophet by tomorrow." (I hoped). "He'd rather hear from you anyways."

I summoned my letters to Sirius and Dad from the castle as we walked up to the Owlery. They came shooting out the door and into my hand. "We'll send Sadie. She can mail my letter to Sirius and yours since you can't use Hedwig. I'll use Hedwig to send a letter to Dad."

Dear Sirius, You told me to keep you posted on what's happening at Hogwarts, so here goes- I don't know if you've heard, but the Triwizard Tournament's happening this year and on Saturday night I got picked as a fourth champion. I don't know who put my name in the Goblet of Fire, because I didn't. The other Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory, from Hufflepuff. Elizabeth's pleased. Elizabeth and Hermione say hello. Hope you're okay, and Buckbeak -Harry

"Finished," He said and I took his letter and gave him the one I had written to dad. "Give that to Hedwig." I repeated as Hedwig flew down from the rafters.

"This is for Professor Lupin." he told Hedwig as he tied the letter to her leg. I worked on Sirius' letters with Sadie.

I petted her wings and let her out. "I ought to go find Cedric and congratulate him." I told the others. I hugged Harry tightly. "You're going to be fine, you know." I said reassuringly. "The other students aren't going to be happy and I'm sorry you'll have to put up with it, but Hermione and I'll be here." I promised.

"Thanks Elizabeth." Harry said with a tight smile.

💙💙💙💙

𝕴 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝕮𝖊𝖉𝖗𝖎𝖈 with some of his buddies in the library. I decided I wouldn't say anything because I didn't particularly like his friends. Cedric spotted me and jumped up and came over quickly. "There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere." he said.

"Congratulations." I said. "I'm really happy you got it."

"Walk with me." Cedric said, jerking his head out the library door. I followed behind him silently, a bit confused. "Are you okay?" He asked in concern as we were by ourselves. "You seemed really distressed about everything."

I sighed, running my hair through my knotted hair. "Yeah, I know. It's just. . ." I hesitated and then said, "When I had my visions, I-er- saw my name coming out of the Cup. And since I hadn't put my name in and I didn't want to compete in the first place, I was feeling horrible. But Harry's name came out and he didn't put his name in and when Professor Moody said maybe someone was trying to kill him well. . . I just got really upset."

"He really didn't put his name in the Goblet?" Cedric asked incredulously.

I nodded, "No one knows how his name was put into the Goblet. It's scary, really."

Cedric nodded, "Who put his name in it then?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. And that worries me. If I didn't seem something important, what else am I missing then?"

Cedric put an arm around my shoulder, "You shouldn't worry so much about those visions you know. They don't define you."

"McGonagall said something like that." I said. "But I still feel useless when I'm blind."

Cedric shook his head. "Get something to eat, alright? I know you didn't come back last night and you probably didn't eat breakfast."

I grinned reluctantly. "Sorry about not coming to the celebration."

Cedric waved his hand, "I don't care, Elizabeth. I just want you to be okay, alright?"

I nodded, "I'll go get something to eat.

Cedric hesitated, and then leaned in and kissed my cheek, "you do that." Then he walked back to the library. With burning cheeks, I headed to the Great Hall.

💙💙💙💙

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖋𝖊���� days were hard on Harry. Only the Gryffindors were being kind to him. Everywhere he went, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins all hating on him. I got very frustrated with the Hufflepuffs who kept persuading me to stop being friends with Harry.

I'd been minding my business too, which made it even more frustrating. Cedric had been in the corner, talking to a huge group of people. Cedric was extremely popular and was usually always seen in a group of girls and boys. I'd been in the opposing corner, working on my homework. I still had a lot to do and I was rushing to get it done on time.

I didn't even realize that the girl was talking to me at first. She'd called "Hey!" And I didn't look up because I was trying to figure out what the Rune translation was. Then she called "Hey future-see-er." And I looked up.

"What?" I asked curtly. I hated being yanked out of homework reveries. When you have the flow, you have the flow. When you're interrupted, your thoughts stop and the essay is just harder to write when you eventually get back to it.

"Don't you like Cedric?" She asked and Cedric looked at her, frowning.

"Of course, I do." I said, trying to figure out why she might be asking about it. Half the girls were jealous about our close relationship.

"Then why are you still friends with Harry?" She asked defiantly.

I narrowed my eyes, "Why should I drop my friendship with him?" I asked harshly.

"Cause he's an attention-seeking git." Someone else said, laughing.

I slammed my books that I was holding down on the table so that I could shove them into my shoulder bag and said, "I can be friends with whoever the hell I want. I can support Cedric and Harry at the same time and if you all weren't such dunderheads, you'd be able to do that too."

Then I swept angrily out of the common room to go study in the Forbidden forest.

And then of course, there were the stupid Slytherins. I was passing through the hallway in the dungeon and saw the Gryffindors and Slytherins were lined up outside the Potions classroom. The Slytherins were howling with laughter and flashed their new badges to POTTER STINKS.

"Oh very funny. Really witty." Hermione said sarcastically.

"Want one, Granger. I've got loads. But don't touch my hand, now. I've just washed it, you see; don't want a Mudblood sliming it up." Draco said.

Harry and I had our wands out before anyone else could've blinked. I was feeling very angry right now and Draco was the perfect target.

"Harry!" Hermione said, not noticing me. No one seemed to notice I was there, their eyes were all on Draco and Harry. Good, I had a clear shot now.

"Go on, then, Potter. Moody's not here to look after you now- do it, if you've got the guts!" Draco said, his eyes glinting.

"Furnunculus!" Harry yelled.

"Densaugeo!" Malfoy screamed.

"Ebulblio!" I shouted.

Harry's spell hit Goyle in the face, Malfoy's hit Hermione, and mine hit Malfoy. Goyle bellowed as boils sprang up on his face. Hermione's teeth started to grow, and Malfoy was trapped in a transparent bubble. Crabbe lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. I guess he didn't like using his wand.

"And what is all this noise about?" A soft, deadly voice, said down the corridor as Crabbe punched me in the face. I kneed him in the groin, getting him hard, satisfyingly.

Snape grabbed the back of Crabbe's collar, hauling him to his feet. I got up to my feet on my own, blood dripping from my nose.

"Hospital wing." He said, pointing to Goyle, "Hospital wing." He said, pointing to Hermione. They both went off in the same direction. He took out his wand and undid the spell I'd done on Malfoy. "Get to class Kane." Snape said, then bent down and said, "Come back after class."

I headed off to charms wondering what he could possibly want now.

💙💙💙💙

𝕴 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓 the office door of the Potions classroom because he wasn't in the classroom. "Come in." He said in an ice cold voice.

I entered hesitantly. Why was he angry with me? Sure, I'd trapped Draco in a bubble and made sure Crabbe wasn't having children anytime soon but still. . . it's not like I'd been in the wrong.

He had his back to me, working at his private desk and said, "Sit." The only thing to sit down on was the bed.

"What do you want?" I muttered, staring at my feet. My nose was still hurting and I closed my eyes and pressed on it. It burned and hurt even more. Maybe it was broken.

His fingers touched my chin and he pulled my head up so he could see my face. "Episkey."

My nose snapped and I yelped in pain and shouted, "What was that for!"

But the pain in my nose was fading. Snape actually smiled and then said, "You could just thank me."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you."

I was briefly aware that his fingers were still on my chin and I reached up and touched his hand. We were still for a moment and then I drew away and said, "Really, thank you." I was blushing bright red, looking down, trying not to smile.

"I-I should- should go." I stumbled over my words and turned and nearly ran into the door and then ran from the room.

I was sure that if I had another meeting like that, I might actually kiss him.

And I wasn't sure how he'd react about that!

💙💙💙💙

𝕴 𝖜𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊 𝖔𝖚𝖙 a letter to dad that night.

Dear Dad, The Daily Prophet's probably made a piece about it already, I reckon it'll be horrible too. It's going to paint Harry as such a lonely little boy which he isn't. I reckon he didn't say anything that the paper printed he said. Rubbish really, I don't know why you waste money on it. I'm feeling a bit off, I think that's simply because I don't understand why my visions are all wrong. I didn't tell you this yet but I had seen my name coming out of the Cup. Of course, then it was Harry's name but I don't know how I could've made such a mistake! Anyways, I reckon the first task ought to be dragons. You know, perfectly safe. I have to say I'm really glad my name wasn't shot out of the cup. I don't think I could handle it, considering I don't know how reliable my visions are. Of course then, I do suppose that I'd have a better reckoning than the others since I have an idea. Sorry, I'm complaining a lot. Magic school isn't as fun as I wish it was. I feel that every year, Harry's got some sort of hate coming towards him and I feel that I get some of the hate too, simply for being his friend. Especially this year, good lord. I wished the hat just put me in danger in Gryffindor. It's like I have to decide between Cedric and Harry and I can't because I love them both, you know? Anyways, I'll try to be more positive next time. I'm not really down. I've heard from Sirius a couple times and I know where he's staying so maybe I'll pay a visit. But Snape's always following me around. He thinks I'm in danger from the Durmstrangs. I don't know, maybe he's right. I don't understand his attitude towards me at all! He likes me a lot, I feel, and that in itself is confusing because he really ought to hate me. He hates Gryffindors and he fully well knows that's where I was supposed to end up. And he even likes me more than the Slytherins! Oh well, I hope you're doing alright. I miss you a lot, wish you were teaching this year. I've got Snape teaching me how to make Wolfsbane potion during our private lessons so maybe I'll be able to get my hands on some at some point. Not sure how I'll get it to you yet but I'll figure it out. I love you so much dad. -Elizabeth

I waited for it to dry, making sure no one was reading over my shoulder, and then I rolled it up and went up to the Owlery. Neither Hedwig or Sadie were back yet and with Ron's permission, I used Pig to send the letter to Dad.

⬅️➡️

[donnerpartyofone]

Ranting, complaining.

In my admittedly limited experience something that makes for bad therapy is the reductive impulse--the approach of reducing all psychological ailment to some general, universal experience. This is supposed to make you feel like you're in good company and not beyond help, but it can also be anonymizing and condescending. For instance suicide prevention rhetoric that focuses on the idea that it's all about loneliness makes me sort of crazy; I mean certainly there are instances where alienation is the main thing, especially with younger people I'd bet, but it's infantilizing to suggest that an adult couldn't have bigger, deeper problems than the need for more phone calls and hugs. And I think this misunderstanding enables the argument that suicide is a cruel thing to do to the people in your life, which is this awful mind trick people play to convince themselves that the pain of loss is serious but whatever pain it is that compels you to actually end your own life is somehow inconsequential and bearable. Apparently you should have just made more phone calls and asked for more hugs, no problem can't be solved by that, and if you didn't do this then other people get to hate you. I've seen people get so angry at their dear friends who committed suicide, and I've been in very bad places just to be told something like "you are not alone." Like no offense but I fucking know that, you're standing right there saying it to me aren't you? Please don't treat me like some lonely teenager, I have other things going on.

Another reductive thing is the strategy of trying to convince the patient that they are "normal". There's a post I once saw here about how someone's therapist blithely tells them "I mean what even IS 'normal' anyway!" like it's this amazing revelation, and the person lists three or four patently aberrant and damaging experiences that most people would never understand in order to say "Can you just try to get on my fucking level with this please?" Maybe that person WAS tormented by feeling abnormal but it's obviously unfair of their therapist to treat them like they can't tell their circumstances are unusual. Besides which you can accept the enlightened cosmic view that there's no such thing as "normal" or that there are more people like yourself than you'll ever know, and you can still be tortured by the effects of your experiences. Universality is not much comfort if something really hurts you.

A big part of my mental health struggles have to do with what I now understand are ADHD-related problems (and I believe ASD is also involved but I don't have that diagnosis yet). Like let's say half my problem is really deep complex depression and fear, and half of it is just the fact that every day is way harder than it needs to be because I can't get a grip on basic tasks. It's the Sisyphus thing, you might think you're a pretty decent guy and that many people share your problems, but eventually you may start wishing that boulder would just squash you the next time it rolls back down because the situation is unmanageable. My first therapist treated me like I was exaggerating or making up all my practical hangups due to low self-esteem. My third therapist accepted that I was being truthful but she would say to me, "Well what if YOU'RE not wrong, what if the rest of the WORLD is wrong!" Like yes I agree the world should be more accommodating to people with different neurological conditions or whatever but whether or not I blame myself for everything, the "everything" is still wrecking my life. Doing mental gymnastics to put a positive spin on it has zero effect on what a hard time I'm having. Please don't talk to me like I'm some child who has never heard that it's OK to be different. If you do I will go insane and I will roam the streets doing Victorian madwoman behaviors and I will not get over it for a long time.

Another thing therapist #3 did that seems to be popular was to take away the words "insane" and "crazy"--and like I do understand what that's about, a generalized diagnosis of just being "fucked up" doesn't help you get to the bottom of things. But if you prevent me from saying those words that will not stop me from feeling crazy and insane. You're just arguing semantics with me when we could be talking productively about my issues and this may actually make me feel crazier.

[devoted--angel]

hello i am rambling hardcore but i like typing out my thoughts it helps me work through them :3

i'm so angry and hateful on here but really if i was able to live a life away from everything that worries me i'd be so happy and even more full of love

deep down i want to do kind things for people and i want people to be good too but lately it's been hard to feel like anyone deserves my kindness

i don't know who i can trust when my own family keeps things from me and votes against my rights

i wish i was able to live in conditions that allow me to be kind and not suffer for it but that sadly is no longer an option for me

"why can't you just be kind now?" i'm tired of giving and giving and giving and pleasing everyone

one of the things i like about being on here is i don't have to please y'all i'm just yelling out to anyone who feels like listening or relates

masking constantly is so hard and draining on top of that, why have i been made to create a palatable version of myself when others get to be cruel? it doesn't seem fair to give kindness to those to give none in return

kindness for the sake of kindness is good and pure but it comes to a point where you become a doormat to others and they WILL use that to their advantage

"but why not just be kind in spite of that?" enabling bad behavior will never fix it. if you let a child hit you and scream insults at you without correction or trying to help them redirect their feelings, they're going to continue that behavior until something or someone forces them to stop

some people NEED their energy matched to realize how they treat others isn't okay, being kind to them and allowing them to be mean to you will only make them believe that you're under them and that you will allow them to treat you that way

kindness must be done in moderation but not at the sacrifice of yourself

we all have different views of what be believe is right to do. i think it's right that homeless people deserve housing and food and racist people think discrimination is okay. everyone has their own "justification" to themselves and in their minds of what they think and why they think it and that's what makes it hard

cruel words with good intentions don't balance out and the same way for kind words with bad intentions. they cannot be balanced because they were never on the same scale to begin with. they both weigh heavy on their respective ones

i think that's what makes it the hardest to connect with people that think so differently and are on either side of an extreme belief. it's like one scale being in pounds while the other is fluid ounces, to meet in the middle and become equivalent is worth more effort than it's worth most of the time

i just wish it was easier to see eye to eye with people and find common grounds without either side sacrificing themselves

i wish it was easier to be optimistic and i wish it was easier to be kind

[wisteriagoesvroom]

hey :)) got any hopes for the race? who do you think is going to be in the top 3? (i'm just hoping for no in-team drama, but maybe that's bc i'm new lol) - @monegasquess

no in-team drama -> oh man @monegasquess you're gonna get me yapping. i feel like we've entered f1 at such a sanitised / different age to what it was before but there always was, is, and will be ✨drama ✨... what form it takes i don't know!

but it is certainly interesting compared to even 5 years ago how the public narratives have changed and how much teams (or maybe specifically ferrari and mclaren as examples) actively rely on happy-brotherly driver narratives to market the sport to new audiences (people like us) now. even with red bull i get the sense that the only reason we're not seeing inter-driver drama is because checo knows exactly where he stands and what is role in the team is, which is definitely interesting to watch. we are experiencing max in the kind of... moon waxing phase because he already has 3 WDCs but we're also seeing indications of how volatile he can get when there's a hint of challenge to getting him that WDC, like silverstone, austria, hungary. it seems like a very different type of drama to the danil/pierre/alex albon eras where they were younger drivers feeling like they had a lot to prove to each other as much as the team... but i digress.

where we're at in the season now makes for extremely compelling racing, especially given the almost clean sweep max made last year / what a friend of mine called "max's leisure sunday morning drive" to p1 every time lol. and this is not to downplay that he is a once in a generation driver who wrangles magic out of the car - due to a variety of reasons it hasn't been easy for him this year and that's what makes for great viewing too: added stakes.

TANGENT ASIDE, my personal hopes for the race... from a mclaren pov....

obviously i'd like an oscar podium in spa (tho a win would be stellar). he's driving well and idk anything about the track conditions or whether they favour the car but consensus seems to be that the orange car is a rocketship whichever way you slice it, so. but also. maybe something people don't talk about as much is how much driver synergy is actually required - amongst the other engineering prowess obviously and huge credit to andrea and team here - to get the car developed to this point. lando and oscar are clearly very evenly matched in skill at the moment. to me, in an oversimplified way, lando has better tyre management, and oscar is better on attack. and also i am thinking about how andrea says it seems lando and oscar discuss the car amongst themselves before they deliver feedback so they are on the same page. so it'll be exciting to see them battle wheel to wheel more... and certainly not without drama.

there also was a really funny and accurate post about how mclaren's DNA has been kind of... repositioned publicly to be all chummy chummy but that's probably going to change if the two drivers ever end up fighting in earnest for a WDC. idk. there are a lot of unknowns. there are a lot of possibilities. there's a reason why fic is the fun sandbox to explore those because we also just never know what might happen with the reg changes by '26 which could toss mclaren all the way back to middle of the pack, it's incredibly hard to say.

one thing for sure though. is that until oscar gets his wdc (which in my biased but also strident opinion he will in his career)... i am unfortunately buckled tf up to watch lmao.

and the sport will change again with the arrival of new talent, new marketing, new audience acquisition, the direction that Liberty Media i.e. the owners want to take it (more street tracks...eugh brother eugh)... so who knows, genuinely.

anyway your ask about this particular race weekend turned into a much longer essay centred around my interest in oscar and the future of the sport sooooo uh yeah staying true to my rep as yappatron 3000 i guess. but with summer break coming up and new folks following the sport all the time, i thought it was worth chatting about!

thank you for the question!

[plothooksinc]

fic writer meme: 2, 3, 9, 25?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Ahh, nope? Nope, not really. If my brain goes "but what is this idea" I then go and write that idea, so inasmuch as I think in terms of tropes (I don't, usually, I look at my writing after the fact and go "oh this contains tropes A B and C" but I've never sat down to go "Imma write a trope") if I have a desire to write it I've already written it. That being said, that doesn't mean there are tropes I haven't done that I will not do in the future! They'll just kind of happen organically at some point I guess.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Almost certainly! (Though I wonder if tropes is really the right word for the meme maker, honestly...) Um, I don't find any trope in itself awful gross and off limits, but I'd find more than a few either in my list of "I'm not interested in writing this" or "I am not capable of writing this", and anything even vaguely smut related goes into both categories. There are likely a whole bunch that are not smut related that I also wouldn't write, but I don't have the awareness to know what those might be off the top of my head. (this does not include romance, FYI, I'm quite happy to write that, but I generally only write very specific kinds of that, too, because I'm allergic to anything that gets syrupy).

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Snowblind, without a doubt. "I've got a great idea! Let's take two people who hate each other and ditch them in the middle of the Japanese countryside in winter!" Did I know anything about Japanese countryside, winter, snow and blizzard survival? I'm Australian. Nope. Had I ever written chapters that were 99% description of bitter harsh conditions? Nope. Did I spend hours researching for nearly every paragraph I wrote of chapter 2? Yup. About the only thing I knew was that you could use animal grease to protect your extremities from the cold, and the rest was ferocious research the entire way through, lmao. (Me, a year ago: how...to...survive...an...avalanche...) That being said, Snowblind is also one I'm pretty proud of for the exact same reasons, I had to work for this one.

25. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who has a good grasp of writing themselves and I know has very similar views to me on the source material. My first fic went un-betaed because I didn't know anyone in fanfiction land, until I hit about chapter 15-ish and developed enough of a rapport with one of my readers that we were talking offline and she agreed to help out. Legacy went unbeta-ed for the most part for the same reasons (new to TMNT fanfiction). I made an exception to the rule for Underdark because I'd gotten like.... 50 pages in before I started posting but I wasn't sure if the story worked, so I asked on LJ if anyone would be willing to help out and got two offers, so I took them both. Sometimes I need a beta before I have the courage to post, ahaha.

When I started writing NRFTW I knew exactly who to go to because we have incredibly similar opinions on TMNT and their characterisation and have known each other and RPed with each other for years, so I just popped on to discord out of the blue and said HEY PI and she said YES GIMME and so I have latched onto @shadowbends for all things TMNT related and she's an excellent writer no matter what she says (I still have a spray bottle, Pi) and has been invaluable on the way through. ♥ So. You know. Find a person you can work with as a partner and go for it.

Thank you for the questions!

Meme for Fic Writers here.

[ominaterthegreat]

I'm not the best in the world with words and this is obviously a really emotional topic, and with good reason, so I'm going to apologize in advance if this comes off the wrong way.

I just wanna be upfront that I'm not concern trolling or trying to pull any bothsides-isms or trying to dimish any tragedies and I'm coming from a place of genuine sincerity and concern.

But some of the pro-Palestine posts you've been sharing worry me. A fair number of them contain false or debunked information.

It's important to double check claims and to have a healthy amount of skepticism regarding reports from any party involved.

Israel is carrying out a genocide, absolutely.

But it's worth remembering Hamas is an overtly antisemitic organization who would do the same if given the opportunity. Their leadership isn't even based in Palestine snd they have every reason to lie or inflate claims about Israeli activity and have put significant effort into attempting to convert anti-zionism with antisemitism and create dog whistles.

That's ultimately what adds another layer of tragedy to the entire event. Israel is even significantly responsible for Hamas' rise to power but that's a history topic unfit for a small ask like this.

Just be careful and keep a cool head and scrutinize everything you read.

I've been following you for a long time and I'd hate to see you accidentally fall into a propaganda pit.

Hey (sorry idk how old this is cause I never look in here) thanks for the concern! If I'm being real I have 2 responses to this:

You're absolutely correct. Hamas as an org is awful as we all know. I definitely fall trap to the uh, issue where we're so inundated with info and opinions and through being on sites like this and pinterest through the years I got kinda conditioned to just reblogging. Typically if I reblog something it's cause there's some grain of truth strain that I see worth sharing at least - I don't agree with every word in every post and I'm too tired to take the time to specify in the tags of every post which parts are worth sharing. That's probably a character flaw on my part.

In the other hand, I do think it's important to understand that to many Palestinian people, they could see Hamas as the only group bothering to do literally any fighting for them. This comes with two points: A - how do we expect Palestinians to reject the only people they see actively fighting for them? and B - Hamas almost certainly counts on this. I think they saw an opportunity to get power in a nation where people don't have any and propped themselves up as the hero - and to many, they now might very well be. That keeps people from looking too hard at the ugly side. I am aware of this. (note because people on this site do not know how to read in good faith: I am not saying all Palestinians like Hamas or view them as heroes, I do not view a nation of people as unilaterally the same as their government. Common sense disclaimer) While I want to support the only group bothering to physically "defend" Palestinians, I also know that they are vile at the core of their ideology. So please rest assured I am not trying to just blindly support a hate group with no understanding and no limitations of support. I don't support Hamas - I support the Palestinian resistance.

Thank you again legitimately for the reach out. It's good to talk to other people instead of just posts on here.