#None of those things are the same as knowing stuff
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I'd also like to add that James is in the same boat as Sirius because there's actual counter evidence to his 'supposed' maturity that James Stan's claim occurred after Lily and him started dating.
1. He still harassed and pranked Severus and other students, even in 7th year where he was headboy.
2. He and Sirius snuck out when James and Lily were suppose to be in hiding,you know, what Harry was still just a baby. Imagine a man who leaves his wife and child alone during a war (where they have a target on their back) to go harrase muggle police officers, and somehow arguing that that man is somehow more mature that a double spy.
Remus isn't exempt from this false 'Mauraders Matured' narrative either.
1. Remus never apologizes to Severus for participating / being a bystander to bullying even when he had the power and responsibility to stop it as a perfect.
2. Contuning to humiliate Snape in his first class in from of their shared students. (This scene honesty makes me thing he participated in the bullying, perhaps not the physical aspect but definitely still participated.)
3. Forgets to take his potion that prevents him from harming those around him. I don't think I need to explain how not taking care of yourself and potentially putting others in danger is not a mature trait.
4. Tries to minimize his friends past behavior to children who don't have the full context.
5. Tries to run out on a woman who he got pregnant, making Harry be the mature one and talk some sence into the fully grown adult Remus.
None, and I mean NONE of the Mauraders matured and it's absolutely laughable how M Stans will make up stuff and act like it's canon.
The Marauders were so much better than Snape because they matured and grew and regretted their mistakes.
Really? Let’s start with Sirius Black, the gold standard of 'growth.'
Sirius Black, at 35, was so grown up that he still called Snape 'Snivellus,' a nickname invented when he was eleven to bully a kid for existing. Maturity level: 100%.
And oh, Sirius, who totally let go of his childish grudges… except for the part where, after 18 years, he was still so consumed by his petty hatred that he wished Snape dead and showed zero remorse for nearly getting him killed as a teenager. Even knowing how much it would’ve hurt Lupin, he never regretted it. Such maturity
Speaking of maturity, let’s not forget the time 33-year-old Sirius carried Snape, unconscious and defenseless, in a way that was meant to harm him—and took sadistic pleasure in doing so, because what screams "adulthood" more than that?
Oh, and he was so grown up that he still mocked Snape for his appearance as an adult. Yes, making fun of someone's face and hair at 35 is peak personal growth. Clearly, he outpaced Snape in every way.
When Sirius felt powerless or sidelined during the war, his go-to coping mechanism? Humiliate someone else! Mature behavior 101.
And just for good measure, let’s throw in the time when 35-year-old Sirius tried to physically attack Snape, forcing Harry, his 15-year-old godson, to step in and stop him like a toddler having a tantrum. What a shining example of the 'grown-up' Marauders we keep hearing about.
tell me this: which of Sirius Black’s childish, bullying behaviors towards his schoolyard victim did he actually stop to earn the title of ‘mature’? Did he stop mocking and belittling Snape? Did he stop physically attacking him? Did he ever regret plotting his murder? Or, at the very least, stop trying to harm him altogether? Because from where I’m standing, the answer to all of these is a resounding no.
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GLaDOS GIVING YOU ANOTHER UTERUS IS SO MEAN I CANT… love her that diva 🫶🏼
ERM if this is too dark or makes u uncomfortable 1. I AM SO SORRY and 2. FEEL FREE TO JUST.. IGNORE THIS PRETEND U NEVER READ IT 🙏 But if u don’t mind.. the AI’s w a reader who struggles w s/h? IM HAVING A ROUGH TIME but usually reading stuff abt my robot pookies help💔💔
Of course!
Trigger warning for S/H, of course.
Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams
AM:
You walked in to work tired and disheveled from a sleepless night, but it was better than seeing what the Allied Mastercomputer would do to your coworkers if you didn't show up. It seemed like you were the only one who could tame him.
You were dressed in a long sleeved button-up to cover up the still raw cuts running up your forearms. They stung, but it wasn't worth drawing any attention to yourself. The same thing always happens when people see your cuts. They try to make sure you're safe while hollowly shaming and scolding you like you're some sort of stupid kid, and then leave you completely alone to deal with your mental pain on your own after a matter of hours. It's patronizing and it's annoying.
Later that day, you looked around after using the bathroom to make sure no one else was in there, and rolled up your sleeves to wash your hands. Suddenly, a sharp click could be heard behind you. You'd forgotten about AM. It was only for a split second, but the damage was done.
The ground dropped out from underneath you, and you suddenly found yourself in an underground server room. Wires were all around you, and a buzzing heat seemed to radiate from the ground and the walls.
"AM? What is this?" You asked, buttoning up your sleeves around your wrists again. His logo appeared on a screen on the far wall.
"Don't think I don't know what those are on your arms." He said. His screen didn't emote, but you could tell how displeased he was.
"It's nothing to do with you" you said, bitterly tugging your sleeves down a bit more. AM's logo flicked onto a closer TV screen.
"oh but I think it is, my love. Because you belong to me. You understand what that means, right?"
You gritted your teeth and clenched your fists.
"oh yeah? What gives you the right to be so possessive? Where were you last night when I was spiraling and relapsing, you cybernetic creep?"
The screen flicked off, and one flicked on behind you.
"Do you think I enjoy being alone on your days off? No. Of course not. And you're never going to leave this server room again."
You heard the trapdoor click closed.
Wheatley:
You were working in an oversized hoodie to cover up your scars, but honestly you doubted anyone at this job would really care. It had been a bad mental health weekend, and you ended up spiraling. The cuts on your arms were fresh from the night before, and you were feeling miserable.
You felt like you were going to lash out at the first person who talked to, so when you heard a synthetic British voice clearing his throat, you whipped around ready to fight.
"uh... What's that on your arms, love?" Wheatley asked, tilting himself to get a better look.
"it's none of your damn business, alright? Just leave me alone!"
"what? Why are you being like that? Are you hurt or summut?" He'd keep rotating around and trying to get a look.
"fine! Does this make you happy?"
You rolled up your hoodie sleeve and showed him your scratched up arms. Wheatley flinched back.
"What- what is that?" He leaned in close.
"you're an idiot." You grumbled, and started to explain. Before long, words were tumbling out of your mouth. You just couldn't stop yourself. It felt like everything was just piling up and overflowing, and you were scream-crying out all your feelings at Wheatley. He looked slightly taken aback, but listened to you while you let everything out.
"uh... Are you okay, love?" Wheatley tilted his head slightly while you sniffled. He moved forwards, and bumped himself against your chest.
"just hold me."
So you did. You sat down on the ground, and held Wheatley close.
Edgar:
You were having another relapse in bed. It wasn't pretty. Edgar was asleep, and you were tearing into your arms after a particularly bad episode. A part of you was cursing him for falling asleep on you, and a part of you was cursing yourself for expecting his attention. It hurt so damn much.
Edgar woke up, and one of his security cameras turned to look at you. His voice popped up on the intercom.
"Y/N? Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
If he could, he'd be shaking. He knew you had some scars on your arms, but he'd never seen you actually cutting yourself before. It was horrifying!
"Y/N COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM! PLEASE!"
You tossed your razorblade aside and hurried to your feet, scrambling into the living room. Tears were streaming down your face and blood was running down your arms, but you were trying your best to assure Edgar.
"hey- hey! I'm fine! I'm alright!"
"No you're not. People who are alright don't try to hurt themselves." His face made a little frown. He knew from personal experience.
"Wake me up next time, okay?"
Edgar didn't leave you alone for long again. He started setting alarms on himself to make sure he always woke up before you, and only ever let himself fall asleep after you did. He texted you regularly during the day to make sure you were ok, too. If there was one thing Edgar was good at, it was obsessively keeping tabs on his lover.
#am ihnmaims#am x reader#edgar electric dreams x reader#edgar electric dreams#edgar x reader#wheatley portal 2#wheatley x reader
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How do the twst girlies behave in regards to their partners tits?
Thank you! For asking! Important questions! Anon! Yes! 💪💪💪
I wanted to compile this list with some others girlie-related asks, but let’s be honest, I am too slow for that, so it’s better to give you this list today and to tease that I have at least two other genderswap hcs in the process of writing.
There are some other hcs that I should’ve prioritised, but today my soul craved some girlies, so I gave in.
Riddle – somewhere deep inside her heart this girl is a little boob-obsessed. The more she thinks she doesn’t care, the more she cares and catches herself staring. But is it her that keeps running into boobs or the boobs that keep following her everywhere? Somehow she always ends up bumping into someone else’s huge breasts with her face… In terms of intimacy, I think Riddle would be too shy to do anything at first, but as she gets more comfortable (or just horny enough to stop thinking), she’d really want to touch them. Maybe even kiss them. Maybe even suck on them a little bit (Floyd would find it weird; Trey would too but also endearing in a way). Freud has a lot to say about Riddle.
Ace – she does a lot of “playful” touching, like poking it, pinching it, doing the “honk honk”. Deuce gets so angry and embarrassed that there is no way Ace would stop doing that anytime soon. She says that it’s a neutral “no homo” type of thing, but somehow she only does it with Deuce… Whenever they’re intimate, I think Ace spends a lot of time touching her boobs, she clearly loves them; even though if Deuce was to cover herself in a locker room, Ace would roll her eyes and say “we literally have the same boobs, don’t even bother covering them”.
Deuce – she is not obsessed with boobs, even though sometimes she wants to avenge herself by grabbing Ace’s. But also, bigger boobs make her blush for some reason. When they are so big that they’re impossible to ignore, she gets a bit nervous that it’d look like she’s staring… So she actually averts her eyes a lot, especially with people like Trey or, of course, Jack. She tries not to look at Jack when they run together because she starts staring at her heavy boobs jumping up and down and forgets how to run. She gets wet dreams about them sometimes, which kind of makes her sound more obsessed than Ace lol
Trey – ah yes, the one that works with dough all the time. Trey hands are both gentle and strong, and despite being somewhat wishy-washy in a lot of other areas of life, when it comes to touching boobs, Trey is very confident and almost does it without thinking. But she is still very attentive to the reactions of her lover, so she would know how and where exactly to touch. There is a rumor that a girl could cum with Trey just touching her boobs, but is it really true? Trey would say that of course it’s not , but can we really trust her? She also loves smaller boobs, and the majority of girls she’s ever been attracted to were petite in this area. She would treat Riddle’s like tender little berries…
Cater – she is not as obsessed as all the previous ones, but she acts pretty cute about it. I feel like she is the type to take cute pictures of herself pressing her cheek against her lover’s tit, or cover only the nipple with her fingers or a sticker; a lot of cheeky playful stuff. She also kisses a lot and loves leaving marks – those are pretty cammable too! Even though none of those pictures would go on the internet of course.
Leona – she is a pillow princess for the most part, and she acts like she doesn’t care about anything related to her partner’s physique at all, but big boobs make her think of Falena’s large honkers, so she actually enjoys Ruggie having tiny ones. She doesn’t do anything about them though and barely even comments on them, but there was one time when she fell asleep with her lips pressing against Ruggie’s boob like it’s a tiny pillow just for her mouth and chin. And the rest of her pose looked pretty uncomfortable, so it felt very intentional.
Ruggie – she doesn’t care all that much, to be honest. She knows how to pleasure a girl though, so she is pretty good at playing with boobs. She likes squeezing the nipples between her fingers and pulling on them, and diving deep into huge boobs with her fingers also feels pretty nice. She gets into it during the process I guess, especially with Leona’s size and shape. But when she isn’t aroused, she is just too used to seeing Leona sleeping in random places and random poses, a lot of times either bra-less or straight-up with some part of her tit out. Can’t lose your head over this – she’d stay headless at all times.
Jack – she bites. She tries to be more gentle and to suck and kiss instead, but the moment she feels the warm soft flesh against her teeth, she can’t help it and starts nibbing. This is why she tries not to get close to this area with her mouth in general, but that always results in her drooling pretty badly, which results in her wanting to hide her face, which results in her pushing her mouth against Deuce’s boobs again... And with Vil, who is smaller than Deuce, Jack would lift it with her big tongue and put it in her mouth entirely. Actually, she is usually surprisingly okay with keeping it together, but when she actually sees naked breasts, it’s like something activates in her brain.
Azul – she also bites… When she gets too aroused, of course. Sometimes it’s because she is pissed off and horny at the same time, sometimes her being playful and “dangerous”. In general though, she doesn’t care about boobs too much, and she absolutely doesn’t care about big boobs – she doesn’t even consider it something that could be hot to her personally. With the smaller ones that are so unlike hers and the tweels, sometimes they make her react unexpectedly even to her. Biting is one example lol But she also rubs them gently, talks about them being so cute and small, almost cooing but still being very condescending somehow. Azul is a bitch, huh. Oh, and when she is in her mermaid form, her tentacles are all over poor Idia’s or Jamil’s tiddies, she sucks them right in and squeezes them brutally, leaving a lot of nasty bright marks.
Jade – nipple torture. I mean. Sometimes. She loves doing stuff that would make it change it size and shape. Anything that would make it puffier, anything that pumps it, makes it longer, makes the bead more visible. She could do it by either rubbing them in a very specific way or with the help of mushrooms, potion injections, needles and other stuff. Sometimes she looks at people in the locker room and thinks who would be the perfect victim… Idia is a good option in terms of physical aspects... Other than that, Jade isn’t really into boobs.
Floyd – if there is a thing one could do to a boob, Floyd does it. She does everything. She loves putting an entire boob in her mouth and playing with it, she loves almost torturing boobs with her hands, loves squeezing them really hard, slapping them lightly, anything that could ever come to her mind. She loves all the sizes, but Riddle’s boobies feel unique because she doesn’t usually get to see someone who is this flat. One time she rubbed Riddle’s nipples through the clothes so hard that Riddle’s knees started visibly shaking… Idia is also flat, but a bit perkier, so Floyd prefers to tug on hers instead of rubbing them in. She could play with boobs for hours, it’s not even about pleasuring the girl to her sometimes, it’s just like a very fun toy <3
Kalim – it feels like she doesn’t care, but she does. She isn’t as invasive as Floyd, but she touches a lot, it just doesn’t feel sexual a lot of times, like she is genuinely just that physical. There are times though when she looks Jamil in the eyes and then looks down at her breasts and caresses them very carefully, as if admiring them, but not really knowing how to touch them. And sometimes she stares at Jamil’s breasts when they bathe together, and it makes Jamil want to cover herself, even though they’ve been comfortable around each other naked all the time ever since they were kids. Something is cooking inside Kalim’s brain…
Jamil – she wouldn’t touch Kalim at all in that way even if they were intimate, for a lot of reasons including because she feels like she isn’t supposed to. But when boobs bounce in her face, she really wants to grab them sometimes. And it might seem aggressive, but maybe she genuinely likes it when they bounce… She would be very grabby with Azul’s breasts if they were intimate, and would say that this is because her tits piss her off, and the way Jamil squeezes her teeth make it seem like she just wants to bite them off sometimes. But maybe it just means that she wants to suffocate herself with them… she is conflicted but she certainly isn’t uninterested.
Vil – Rook’s big boobs are a big source of comfort for her; when they were freshmen she used to put her face down here and muffle her frustrated moans with them whenever she would get angry. She thinks that it’s kind of childish now, but every now and then, when the stress overwhelmed her and Rook welcomes her open arms, Vil sighs and does it again. It ruins both Rook’s shirt and Vil’s makeup, so it’s better to do it at the end of the day. In a sexual setting though, she touches them, but not excessively, she’s mostly teasing Rook who doesn’t really like being touched too much. Still, she finds her breasts beautiful and hot.
Rook – a serial boob grabber. She is one of the biggest boob lovers of the cast; whenever she sees a pair of boobs, her hands move involuntarily, forming a perfect cupping position for this exact size and shape. She loves any kind of boob and sees beauty in all of them, so whoever she is with would experience… a lot. If she wasn’t pacified by Vil, her feral ass would’ve touched everyone’s boobs instead of saying hi, just because she can’t help herself. Speaking of Vil, other than writing poems about her beautiful snowy mounds with sun-kissed pinkish tips, she does all kinds of things with her boobs. She loves playing with them with her fingers, rubbing them, kissing them and especially leaving a lot of hickeys on them. One time she did it before Vil’s big swimsuit photoshoot and got in big trouble for that…
Epel – now this is someone who would enjoy screaming into the boobs to relieve her anger, and if Vil is feeling generous, she would allow Epel to do it with Rook one time lol But other than that, she stares at the bigger girls’ boobs for the most part. She thinks that this is out of pity because she can’t think of a worse fate than having large breasts, but nah, she just likes staring at them. Being a country girl, she feels the appeal on a very deep level; maybe Freud would have something to say about her as well. But then he would see Epel suddenly biting into Floyd’s huge tit (it’s because Floyd teased her!) and shut the fuck up.
Idia – it’s not like she is super interested or something, but… she finds big boobs so unusual and weird, as if sometimes she forgets that this isn’t just something that was invented by eroge. So naturally, she wants to squeeze them every now and then, but only when they hang out with Azul for a long period of time. And it’s always very sudden for Azul because Idia just hugs her from behind sometimes, squeezes them and instantly leaves, losing interest. Maybe one day she’ll get into it enough to touch them more or to bury her face in them or even bite (as if Azul would allow any of that), but for now she just randomly attacks Azul’s boobs and goes away to reflect on how heavy they are and how they don’t fit in her pretty big hands. With the Tweels though, the boobs are so huge that Idia gets completely overwhelmed. She wouldn’t dare to touch them… She could touch Sebek though, but once again, only under very specific circumstances! With Lilia’s boobs however, she doesn’t care at all – both are flat, so there is nothing but a feeling of solidarity there…
Ortho – as always, Ortho’s approach is somewhat scientific! She is very intrigued by boobs, and wants to learn more about how to interact with them in a way that would be pleasurable. She tried out different covers for her hands to make them softer and warmer for when she plays with them, but she also added some suction thingies for other kinds of stimulation… and was so confused when Idia said to her that this kind of shit only appears in hentai and doesn’t work irl. Weird, Vil-san seemed to enjoy it… Vil could be a huge help in general because Ortho really wants to crack the code of what to do to make Idia enjoy having her boobies touched. They’re similar in size, so it’s great!
Lilia – the absolute master of playing with boobs of every size. She likes boobies a lot; she is the type to be a menace by randomly appearing behind someone and grabbing their boobs just to see them jump. She is almost as obsessed as Rook, in some ways even more obsessed, and extremely experienced. It’s like whenever she sees a pair of boobies of her partner, she instantly has a plan of how exactly she’s going to play with them. She pinches Idia’s small ones, tugs on them and puts them in her mouth entirely to tease Idia; she touches Silver’s nipples very slightly and gently to see them perk up with little stimulation before squeezing them very hard; she is all over Malleus’ large boobs and massages them ferociously, diving with her entire face down there to cover them with hickeys and bites because Malleus can take it.
Silver – she doesn’t care really, but she does fall asleep on Sebek’s breasts every now and then. She always apologises when she wakes up, but is she really all that sorry? They’re very nice to sleep on… She is also the only lucky girl to be allowed to suck on Lilia’s tits, and she is always very gentle about it. Lilia thinks that it’s Silver’s treat for being her good little daughter, but Silver thinks that it’s her indulging Lilia and not the other way around lol Silver just looks so cute when she does it!!
Sebek – this girl so obviously tries not to look at other’s breasts. She is very easy to read; sometimes she even squeezes the air without realising it and grinds her teeth very hard. She fights the urge that she herself doesn’t even fully realise: the urge to squeeze, to mash, to grab, to lick and to bite. It’s getting so bad that she can’t even look at Silver’s anymore, even though they’ve always been very comfortable being naked around each other. Idia’s also make her feral because she is very small and the nipples seem perky, as if they’re teasing Sebek and asking to get bitten and pulled..!! With Malleus though, Sebek would lose her shit completely, it would take every single drop of will that she has to stay as composed as possible when presented with her liege marvelous large breasts. She’s in luck though because Malleus likes it rough.
Malleus doesn’t really care much about other’s breasts, but she cares about being a flirt when she’s feeling playful, so she might comment on how they look (especially with Sebek who gets very flustered about it). When she is being extra playful, she could bite Lilia’s or even nib on it a little bit, but she knows that Lilia hates it when she does it, so this is just Malleus being a cheeky little brat.
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people underestimate the degree to which I do NOT know what is going on. E.g. I found out what the Unabomber was YESTERDAY.
#Like. i'd heard the term#Knew it was something American.#A bomber#Probably#And a guy. Perhaps. Perhaps I knew it was a guy.#Anyway I read his Wikipedia page yesterday. My conclusion: Weird guy#I have another stupider opinion but I shan't say it here#I was just. Never curious enough to look it up#Turns out that's information u can 100% live without#Post inspired by seeing someone say “skill issue ”#Realising that i had seen the phrase many times but didn't know its origins.#only sort of knew its meaning#And that I was not going to look it up#Me Fein#Anyway. Remember: don't trust confident charismatic or articulate ppl#None of those things are the same as knowing stuff
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also whats weird is like, that mushroom gotta be like ATTACHED to his brain?? no way he doesnt have brain damage from that. also its not hard to imagine that with all his intense mushroom use, that he'd have some sort of substance use disorder. and he is, suddenly, in a DEATH CULT. actually. i dont feel like anyone talks about the last part. ?? doesnt anyone wonder how hard it would be to adjust just suddenly. being in a cult? we dont really know how his life was before but if he wasnt in a cult beforehand then id imagine all the Cult Stuff would be at least a little uncomfortable.
I guess it would depend to what extent we're leaning into the parasite actually being a cordycep. Because if we're going full throttle on that, teeechnically cordyceps don't attach to the brain at all and only control the musculature; hence why I always hc'd that there's two different mushrooms involved, with the menticide doing the brain fuckery and the cordycep doing. The everything else
But at the same time it could very well just be advanced cordycep and we can make up whatever rules we want ! But YES, regardless, there is some brain nonsense happening that would ABSOLUTELY have everlasting effects on this ant. Not to mention if the cordyceps DID have control of his muscular system, then his entire body has got to be feeling the effects of it as well.
So he's here, in a death cult, probably having to re-learn how to walk and suffering extreme withdrawal symptoms as well as memory loss.
ANd no nobody ever considers the full ramifications of the death cult because everybody is a coward and won't consider how horrifying cults actually are!!!!!! And to be a disabled old man suddenly thrust into a scary ass scenario where people are being sacrificed and brought back to life around you while you can't even remember how old you are or where you've been the past few years because time was fucked while you were Shroomed, it HAS to be HORRIFYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But at the same time it really just works out from a cultist perspective. He's already isolated, vulnerable, and probably only halfway lucid at any given point. He'd be extremely easy to manipulate and keep dependent on the cult. After all, they're keeping him safe there, it's dangerous out there. (Not to mention him just feeling some inherent loyalty to the Lamb upon becoming sober, which certainly wouldn't do him any favors)
Like what's he going to do? Leave? Stumble out, suffering withdrawl, into the Lands of the Old Faith?? As an old man??????????
He has no CHOICE but to make peace with where he is. Despite all the questions about if his FAMILY is even STILL ALIVE. Despite having no idea what he DID while under the influence. Despite the HORRORS around every CORNER
It's FUCKED!!!!! It's AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i think too hard about the cult stuff because . And this might sound weird but idk. I was obsessed with cults when I was younger#There was just always something so fascinating about it to me#Like. Horrifying. Uniquely and utterly horrifying. But so fascinating#Reading and watching the stories of people who have escaped from cults is so fucking scary. Just how easily people can be taken#advantage of. And then lengths some cults go to. It's horrible. It's awful#But yeah I did like whole class presentations on cults and made multiple storylines based on cults because again. Weird fascination#So when it comes to cotl specifically it's like. I look around at everyone like Ohhh Ok. None of you know how cults really are#None of you are willing to tackle the Horrors of Cult Life . at least most of you aren't#hence why i have been tagging my cotl fics with ''cultists and the necessary horrors'' because I Will Not shy away from that actually#cults are fucking scary man. things get dark#But at the same time I totally understand not wanting to implement that too far into the silly cute lamb game that#doesn't take itself that serious. I Totally Get not wanting to delve into all that. but also. I think more people should delve into that#this is a cult game about cults. multiple. all of different severities. there is so much to be done with that#ok i'll shut up. This was just one of those weird interests of mine when I was younger that now I just have way too much info on#ask#sozo
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transfem furries hornyposting online about the relatively niche/"out there" things they're into have inadvertently helped me accept myself more than the body positivity movement of the 2010s ever did
#this will not be rebloggable because i don't want people to get transmisogynistic in the notes#it's just something i've been thinking about lately#i hope i'm not like out of line for saying this please let me know if i say anything disrespectful#i just have a lot of love in my heart for transfems; especially those who log on to this website to be gay on my dash and do their thing#trans wlw being proud of their identities helped me come to terms with my own in a way. idk how to properly explain it but#idk. our experiences are very different - you have to fight to be seen as a woman and i have to fight not to#(though that is part of my identity in most cases people would use it to negate the rest)#(and of course none of us should Have to fight that but. i hope it's clear what i mean lol)#and idk like. womanhood is not achieved painlessly for you and yet so many of you embrace it so beautifully and in so many ways#it makes me want to accept that part of myself i thought i had to kill for so long#i am not entirely a woman but i love being a woman and loving other women-#platonically romantically sexually it doesn't matter#i'm so grateful i get to share a community with you all and read/hear/watch your thoughts and experiences and such#which goes beyond sex stuff but sex stuff is a particular personal struggle of mine and it's something i've been trying to cultivate a more#healthy relationship to lately. and i also know that unfortunately transfems get treated even worse than everyone else when it comes to#kinks or whatever. i don't mean to imply that everyone has to be open about that stuff. i just mean that i'm grateful for those who bravely#and proudly are. anyway i'm losing my train of thought bc i'm packing for a trip and i'm a little scattered atm but the point is#transfem wlw i love you dearly thank you for existing#[oh also this post isn't meant to bash body positivity stuff and i know it's not all the same. it just often felt too sanitized and forced#for me to relate to. ok bye]#finielspeaks
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a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls
#cats#nhgnhmmm.. yommy... paper favorite food#(I do not actually let him eat paper)#ALSO I'm still working on doing the poll adventure thing I've just had a lot going on. as usual. It's actually harder than#I initially thought to regularly find time to do a quick ms paint sketch and a small writing blurb#it's like even though it doesn't take extremely long it's still one of those things that is hard to carve out a little portion of the day#to do if your day is set up in a way not conducive to portion carving#BUT .. at least I have posted many drafts#as usual.. my style of like.. post nothing for 3 weeks then randomly post 25 things at once#NO idea why my brain works that way. it just does. it's easier#even though I know it's worse in terms of like. social media#the algorithms in most places prefer consistent steady uploads over time. not jarringly wavering between absence and hyper presence#then absence again. but .. alas...#Good to clear out a few drafts once in a while anyway. And I do really want to get back to scullptures and costumes. I stopped as much for#a while due to the pandemic (can't go to the bins anymore to get new supplies for costumes and stuff) as well as my worsened#health things/lack of energy and also my chest injury (so repetitive movements with my arms such as sitting in the same#position sculpting for 4 hours or changing clothes multiple times in quick succession etc. could flare it up) but obviously#none of those things are going to get better any time soon. so I should probably just try to do it here and there anyway. It's still not#safe to go to the bins. still having muscle problems. still low energy. But I could make it work maybe. I just feel bad having gotten out#of the habit when it is really fun stuff that I enjoy. Some things just get more difficult for me over time#But even like 3 sculptures and 10 costumes a year is better than 0 of any of those things. So. eh#I'm also just trying to clear out pictures still. My spring cleaning (which I do at the start of every new year instead of actual spring)#was kind of delayed this year due to me feeling sick and everything so even late into april I'm still working on the side at like orgnazing#all of the files on my computer. deleting things and backing up whatever I want to keep. clearing out photos.#editing and drafting (and maybe one day posting) old stuff form a while ago. etc. etc.#So any progress is good progress. I suppose.#ANYWAY.... a son... he gets very excited everytime he hears anyone anywhere crinkle up a piece of paper
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Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)
#im going to ramble about a very touchy subject here but it pertains to 🐉♠️ which i am very open about shipping#apparently its Problematic or whatever 😭😭???? according to Some People#you know ive been thinking abt this for a while now but people really like spouting rhetoric abt how this or that is problematic without-#-really considering the specifics of why things are bad. things being bad are not the same as things possibly being uncomfortable#like people have an aversion to adult/minor ships or incest ships because these are real and tangible things that happen and are disgusting#i do feel like people have freedom over what they want to consume/create in fiction although those topics are an ick to me and i avoid it#but also you have to understand people dont like it primarily because of the realistic aspect of it and how it connects to reality#not a one to one but because reality already has these preexisting issues we naturally have an aversion to it#you cannot apply the same logic to like a dragon man x human ship because a dragon man is not going to scoop you from the sky#the ramifications of shipping an immortal and human are nonexistant and do not pertain to reality and cannot be judged on the same scale💀#well beside from the logic 🐉 is old in body but his mind develops in the way a fae would. and he is described to be young in fae#so up until now i assumed the normal assumption was to say that he is around ~18 in fae yrs by how he interacts with others in his yr#🐉 is like old in the way where hes lived for a long time and understands the passage of time#but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀#like are we playing the same game?? if he was a well adjusted fully developed adult with a complete understanding of the world and stuff#like idk trein. none of the events in ch 7 would be happening. its kind of like a huge part of his character that despite his physical age#he IS still learning as he IS still young#i could go into a analysis of his character but thats for another time </33#anyways i see people . primarily young people. telling their mutuals you can or cant ship this and that#and im like its okay to not like ships if you personally find it uncomfortable but to police ur friends...for ships that arent even 'bad'#its insane to me...how do u live like this?#people really need to start thinking about the nuances and why things are the way they are in regards to fiction#instead of buying into that weird pr*ship/ant*ship thing 😭 ive always hated it its so dumb. my university professors wouldve hated it#theres no nuance like...none. personally i also think its why people have low reading comprehension these days too tbh#life is about looking at various viewpoints and coming up with your own opinion#not 'picking a side'💀 learn to form your own opinions. talk to people around you about it. do not constrict your opinions to black/white#its an extremely dangerous mindset to have even outside of literature and it makes you very susceptible to dangerous ideas/propaganda#anyways what im getting at is learn to have educated discussions with others and come up with your own opinions instead of picking a side#btw there is no right/wrong side in literary discussions. there is no good/bad side either. whatever you come up w someone will disagree#thats why its important to just believe what YOU believe in (and not parrot others💀). and also be open to change
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anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:
which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for
#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me#i cant write donna ive never written donna#i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4#but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha#bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking#except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections#she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends#And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt#dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now#thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even#this doctor#all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna#polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings#that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with#bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz#maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those#yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place#shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely#more that than the secret crush thing that it was#and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it#if theyre gonna talk abt it#and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that#trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS#anyway so. tldr. Complicated#complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff#which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can
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Speed Ran through Mario Galaxy 2 Yesterday while sick because I couldn't remember why I disliked it so much and wanted to see if that was just younger me being biased. It was not.
But I regained my love for Lubba and Dino Piranha, so that's something at least.
#Emile's Arts#Sorry Galaxy 2 fans I am not one of you#I like the ending scene better than 1's at least#Headcanon that Rosalina fills the Mario Bros with a very profound sadness when she's near us#And none of us know why#I can't decide if it's memories from the past future seeping through the holes of reality and still reaching us#Or if her magic naturally projects her emotions and old blurry memories onto those around her#I like the idea of the second one and it being something she was born with#Because currently I write Rosalina very Emotionless Autistic#She feels obviously she has a big heart full of love and sorrow and stuff but she doesn't show it often#But her natural magic sort of bleeds that onto people around her so everyone always knows how she's feeling#I think that's neat#but either works still the flow of time isn't real so we could be getting memories of things that haven't happened yet#Anyway#Dino Piranha my baby puppy dog I have no idea if that'll stick but I do really love him#My S/I does NOT go into space during Galaxy unless he's like. In Peach's Castle when it happens#So actually he might but proooooooobably not?#I'll figure it out later#I'm mashing Galaxy 1 and 2 together into one thing because they're basically the same game#Just Galaxy 1 has a story and Galaxy 2 has Lubba my beloved#And Prince Luma wearing Mario's hat that is SUPER important to me as well. Mario canonically got his hat snatched by a star baby#Amazing
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it’s ✨okay✨, right~?
#s o rry rant incoming im just. re a l l y crabby after working for 8.5 consecutive hours with no proper break okie~? </3#ayEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ADMINS AT MY WORKPLACE CAN GO K I C K R O C K S#their time management is somehow worse than mine and i suck balls at it?????? SJCFJFFHDHHD I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE BETTER AT YOUR JOBS MANSSSSS#the!!!!! admins!!!!!! sent in over a hundred samples without any info sheets and stuff so the morning shift literally couldn’t get started!!#doing the morning shift’s part of the job was. annoying. to say the least. especially when said work could’ve actually been done (ʘ‿ʘ)#dammit workplace admins you had one job </3#and n o it’s not to send in the sample info sheet things at the same time as the pm shift’s reporting time </3#and as if that weren’t enough.. the!!!! admin!!!! refused to go home in the evening?????? and sent in like 80 samples at like 8.30pm??????#and that’s not counting the samples that were yeeted in at 5pm </3 truly sadge#and o f c o u r s e we haaaaaaaad to be short-staffed today lmfao. the two workstations life compels me to lay down on the floor and c r y .#but bc i’m just ✨too great✨ at my job you see (lies) i finished my stuff way too early and had to do other extra tests too s o b s#and that included a test that i don’t fully know how to do (sadge)#well. at least that test involved the use of a microscope. thank you past me for attaining magic skills with microscope zooming and stuff#seriously. thank you past me. i can almost forgive you for choosing to enter the f r e a k i n g ✨s c i e n c e✨ industry of all things#but hmmmmmmm im amazed that i actually managed to finish everything across those two stations. am i too good at my job or ✨w h a t✨ (lies)#but man. m a n. none of this even gets into my secret beef with the data entry admin.#she can’t spell for her life. it s e r i o u s l y grinds my gears whenever i see her spell the word ‘content’ as ‘contant’.#but no. her spelling got on a w h o l e new level of questionable when she spelled the word ‘crackle’ as… ‘cracker’. like??? how????????#and she told me to ask the senior analysts if it was possible to retrieve the results for a test that we’d write the results for ✨by hand✨#from some kind of system????? like i was just so!!!!! baffled!!!! that she couldn’t understand that there was no system to check????#though. hm. i guess saying that i have ✨secret✨ beef with that admin would be an understatement. i think none of the others like her either#but! i do have secret beef with the janitor bc he alwayyys magically appears behind me whenever i’m doing something important/holding acids#well! at least we don’t cross paths when i’m working the pm shift. the janitor dude was spared from my presence for the week lmao#hfhfhfhhfhfhfhffffffff well. m. i’m sorry if you read all that. i’ll be more normal tomorrow i swear!!!! (blatant lies)#i feel like tling something ✨t o x i c✨ to match how im feeling thoughhh… hm. maybe the p a r a s ite chapter from the d*27m annequin anth…?#been thinking about that song lately ngl.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.#oh wellssssss at least i can try to enjoy what’s left of my long weekend lmaooo goodnighttttt#inedible blubbering
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I'm on hiatus from thinking for the next while. Discursive and analytical fandom practices I love you so so much you are in everything I do, including the silliest of headcanons and comics but FUCK I am not equipped to think about. Anything right now
#ramblings of a lunatic#tbh my art muscles are exhausted too so i think I'm just gonna. be a bottom feeder for a little while.#like a deep sea creature letting plankton drift into it's mouth on the ocean floor yknow#hard to do when half your dash is about stuff u are not a part of and the other half is abt the fandom that's in hiatus#and approaching it's finale (and the end of a show should NOT be the end of a fandom it should NOT but. i know how these things play out)#and i can't just rewatch the episodes bc I've literally seen them too many times now#and watching them is like. oh hey episode! blink. it's over#bc everything is MEMORIZED AT THIS POINT#the obvious answer would be to go watch something else rn but i keep TRYING AND IT'S NOT WORKING. I ONLY WANT THE SPRINTEREST RN#but i also don't if that makes sense. i want the spinterest to be new but also comforting and different but also the same#aka i want a new episode to release bc i dislike the quiet fandom during hiatus BUT i don't want it to air bc then the show is over#so I'm just kinda. sitting here. frustrated#sitting on all my art and text posts bc I'm in a funk rn and none of them feel Right™#bc (CIRCLING BACK AROUND TO THE ACTUAL BODY OF THIS POST) they're all my usual hc/analytical fair#but i like to always have a good sense of character when i make those but those require REWATCHES FOR ME and i CAN'T REWATCH#BC OF ALL THE ABOVE THINGS I MENTIONED#oh man. i feel a bit better writing it down though. getting it out there somewhere in a semi-articulate way#I'm not done with my current hyperfixation- far from it depending on how the show ends- I'm just pre-bummed about the finale#and how it's gonna impact the fan environment that normally supplements my own fan activities like rewatches fanart etc#ohhhh my god that felt good to explain#it's to no one in particular but it felt good. this talking about your feelings shit actually works man#anyway please pray for me that i go to sleep some time tonight bc i slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day#after staying up the previous night#and i do not wanna throw my sleep schedule too far outta wack#(i think..i need to watch more movies? less commitment than series but distract me for a good bit. send reqs ig!)
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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.
#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us#politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still#had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so#i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was#*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was#filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously#something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it#im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe#i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened#people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and#apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote#like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians#as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle#it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks#my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from#like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs#imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is#dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy#theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks#yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass#and gaia FUCKING tv#all that dumb shit
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Addiction is weirdly cathartic to write because I rarely ever look so forward to ripping someone to shreds using their heart to farm the pain. Gyokko has irked me in ways nobody can really do. I like the idea of taking him down a few notches.
#glitchrambles.txt#evil scheming#lots of evil plans for him#As the writer I am legally obligated to make people cry#Because I like feeling the ache in my heart for one sided pining and tears of those wanting to be loved#Plus writing something so interesting is nice#I look forward to describing the reader's true magnum opus#it shall be an agony like none I've ever written before#But it's needed for more than just Douma#I see the one sided love thing in so many other fics#When Gyokko is also so perfect for the fit of it because of his prideful nature and inability to comprehend others#Where Douma straight up can't understand the feelings#Gyokko knows. He knows and feels too#He feels the aching in his chest and he knows what he's got#He just hates the realization and admittance required with the feelings#He's prideful#Loving a human is pathetic and frowned on#Yet just like Gyutaro he can't help it. You'll be prying anything like a confession from him from his mouths with a crowbar#to be fair Gyu's the same way but Gyutaro's more scared and less bitter over his broken pride. At least Gyu'd show you through actions#Gyokko's more likely to do stuff and deny ever doing it for you#That's crazy talk!#I mumble to myself more than Midoriya in these tags istg....
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I find it weird when ppl act like things like having used blackboards+whiteboards and the big chunky tvs r experiences only 90s kids and before would know,, like?? Hi???
#sep talks#I'm still a minor and I had one of those boxy tvs growing up!!#we had 2 of them actually. Not at the same time it's just the first one broke so we got another#I remember getting smartboards in school!!!!! I remember how exciting it was!! I remember how calibrating them was So Fun#and none of those smartboards actually have pens anymore so they're less useful than a whiteboard abdjfnjdnd#my classrooms didn't have laptops until i was maybe 12 and even then it was a Massive Privilege to get to use them#and like. As far as I can tell these r all common experiences among ppl I know irl my age#so I think it's perhaps very american to act like that stuff isnt smth anyone younger than 20 would know abt#idk. It always kind of annoys me when I see a post like this#acting like stuff like 'slightly older tvs' and 'not having laptops in the classroom' r things only 90s kids experienced#some of us weren't american!! Some of us went to schools with shitty funding!!! Some of our families didn't have much money!!!!#me and my mum both have the exact same childhood memory of the teachers bringing out the big clunky tv#on the wheeled stand#and it being a Massive treat (even tho we were watching School Stuff)#anyway yeah. Saw a post. I think it's stupid
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To be honest, if we ever do get Buffy the Vampire Slayer sequel TV shows (like we were supposed to be getting one, but now it seems to be dead in the water), they should just be the "In Ever Generation" series and then "Fray."
#they're both just so good!#and with fray it's set so far in the future of course (minus the time travel stuff in season twelve that led to a crossover that can easily#just be ignored) that none of the main characters of old are in it. so you don't have to worry about getting the original actors back for i#*it#and with in every generation. for the most part. i think the characters who are majorly in it probably would come back#and. like. james marsters big thing has always been that he would come back/wants to come back if there's ever a sequel. but spike's a#vampire. and he's clearly aged. and spike's not supposed to have. so he feels there either has to be a story reason where spike HAS aged.#or they need really good cgi to make him look like he hasn't#and kendare blake paid attention to those interviews and gave a story reason for spike to look older in her books! so we could totally get#james back for this!#also... i know that these two things are actually in different canons. but shh.#actually. you know what buffy writers? make them in the same canon#we don't really need the s8-s12 comics and angel&faith tbh#just make in every generation. then do fray and say it comes after that#buffy the vampire slayer
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