#Non-fandom

[thespectralvision]

May you find light on this dark Winter’s night.

A little Holiday monster sketch break as a treat (for me).

[linklethehistorian]

Honestly, I need to just. Start giving myself permission to live again. There are so many time when I’ll be making something lately, and I’ll start thinking, “oh, but I could be working on —” or, “Oh, but first I should finish — ”

BONK!

NO! Bad Linkle. Bad.

FFS, just live. Give yourself permission to live. You’re enjoying yourself; fucking enjoy yourself!

Honestly tf cares if you create a thousand WIPs, it’s still something, it’s still progress, it’s still creation.

So many false ideas of obligations have held me back lately, and it’s just like — fuck it. Honestly, really, truly, just live.

Do things out of order, do things half-assedly, do things embarrassingly, do things weirdly, do things that put off other things. If that’s what it takes to do things and be happy, DO THINGS! It doesn’t matter how.

Release new fics and art before you finish another you’d already started or teased. Release a fic you might never complete.

God, just live again, already.

Just live.

You don’t owe anyone anything else.

[oldtowrs]

i cannot believe america willing chose fear and division and hate over progress and change. all bc a woman was the one to lead the charge. i hate this country and i hate what it stands for, and i have truly lost hope.

and i have the privilege of living somewhere where my right to love who i love and the right to my body are protected. but i can’t afford to live here. and everyone else who doesn’t live here? i’m so so so terrified of the way forward that i can’t fucking function.

you’ve done it america, i’ve lost any shred of my hope and pride for you.

[carlathecat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @hyperfixatezz !!!!

Finally drew our wedding :3

i'll be honest it's simpler than the mental image i initially had

and i couldnt for all the tits find a way to draw the eyes and i just gave up. also i wanted to finish it for today and i dont think i wouldve been able to art again today so this shall do

[davidthephoneguy]

Ello everybody I got a new sideblog

Had a bit of a breakdown that I don't need to go into detail for y'all but it made me realise how much I was pandering my art for people. I don't actually like making fandom content or fluff stuff, all that was mostly just so people would like me and be friends with me.

SO I've made this sideblog in indulge in art that I actually enjoy making which is mostly gore and dark stuff. ^^ Tw's n such are on the new sideblog and it might end up being more used then this one cause its art thats meant for me and not just pandering for my attention seeking tendencies /pos

[skieystar]

I am one more "bUt aReN't yOu aSeXuAl wHy wOuLd yOu sAy tHat" away from never complimenting anyone again.

[no-cinnamon-for-synonym]

Always thinking about that time in middle school when we had to give presentations about some shit and one of the rich white boys (and I'm talking rich. Like, most of these kids came from families part of the world's richest 1%--how I ended up at that school is a long story) in the class gave a presentation on how feminine hygiene products are actually luxury items and how the prices should actually be raised and all the girls got mad and all the boys agreed with him and the teacher (white male) actually laughed because he thought it was "cute" and "funny" and "harmless." The patriarchy is still very much alive and every day I am filled with this unfathomable urge to violently burn it all down.

[corazondebeskar-reads]

on today's episode of ~tmi with toni~:

I was NOT a good girl 😭

I always share the good stories, but I think I'd do an injustice to my goal of healthy d/s rep if I didn't talk about the bad.

warnings for subdrop, safewords, and punishments (and a happy ending) below the cut, friendly reminder that this is also my kink journal and pls feel free to ignore this if you're only here for fandom or are going to be weird about it

I'm inherently not a brat. I was, once upon a time, but it ended up being one of those concepts better suited for fantasy than reality.

(We figured that out the first time he used a painless punishment, and it became very clear that a) I had been enjoying punishments too much, and b) I did not have the heart to handle disappointing him.)

this is all to say that I couldn't remember the last time I was willfully disobedient. that was, until two days ago.

one of the worst parts is that I got away with it in the moment because it simply did not connect for him. why would he ever think I was being intentionally bad? it's been years. maybe a fucking decade.

it started out normally; I was walking by, and he grabbed me and bent me over the bed. I was 1000% on board until I realized he wanted anal, and (this IS tmi with toni, pls remember) we were maybe too rough last time, so I was still raw and not looking to bleed.

I called yellow, and (I really want to emphasize this) he stopped immediately, stepping back and taking his hands off me while checking in verbally. I explained—not because I needed to justify the safeword but because I wanted him to know I was still down to fuck in a different venue.

He double-checked, because he's a soft dom and a worrier, and then he fucked my pussy. After a while, he slapped my ass and told me to get up on the bed on my back.

but reader, I did not want to. he was hitting it soooo good from behind. But instead of just... saying that or asking nicely, I decided just to fuck back into him until he got lost in the sauce and continued.

After a while, he told me again to get on the bed on my back. I really, really did not want to. That was probably the position I wanted least, so I climbed up and laid on my side in another position.

He still didn't realize it was intentional and just manhandled me where he wanted. Later, he told me he thought I was just cockdrunk. I was, but unfortunately, I was also being selfish and disrespectful.

He didn't notice, but I couldn't deny it to myself any longer, and got myself so upset in secret that I couldn't come when he told me to. (This is not something I get punished for. I usually can come on command, but if I can't, I can't.)

I confessed when we were done, but tripped and fell into a bad subdrop. Hence why I didn't get punished until today.

He held me and wrapped me in a warm blanket until I stopped shaking. When I was okay enough for him to get up, he got me juice and ran a hot bath. And did it again the next morning when I woke up shaky and achy from the comedown.

He didn't want to punish me, not after dropping like that. But he knows me and knows I needed it, so today, when I was able to take it, he caned me.

I know, I know—I'm a masochist, and we've already established that pain punishments don't usually work. but look. I do NOT like the cane. That cane and I are arch nemeses. It's evil and mean and I wish it a very good trip to hell.

Which is exactly why I volunteered it when we negotiated punishments. (and why if you've read my kink-adjacent works, it shows up as a villain lol)

TLDR; my dom is amazing, but now it hurts to sit. 😭

[watcherwatts]

guess im just gonna have to use wattpad in the year of our lord 2023

[bookish-bogwitch]

Hi.

I haven’t really used this blog much for personal, non-fandom stuff, but thought I’d share an update. CW: mental health and depression.

This past winter I hit the rock bottom what was, in hindsight, a major depressive episode that I’d been experiencing for years. I had no energy, no ability to connect wanting to do something with actually doing it. I was crying all the time and hating myself.

I had a job that I’d once loved—public defense—but that after twelve years had taken its toll. The traumas had started outweighing the triumphs. Between that, and becoming a caretaker for a disabled family member, and random brain chemistry, I’d been on a mostly downward spiral since before the pandemic started.

If I came across as upbeat, it’s because fandom was the one place I could still tap into playfulness and joy. I’d crack myself up online while walking around with a flat affect. There’s nothing wrong with using a hobby to cheer yourself up, but it was such a sharp contrast.

And then there was the doomscrolling. It’s just bad for my brain. The pornbot boondoggle drove this home because I was spending hours a day on here and feeling proportionately crazed. (Note to past self: yes you’re very clever, here’s a pat on the head, but two days of pornbots would’ve been just as funny as twelve.) By the time it ended I was falling apart. Something had to give. I changed my Tumblr password to a random key smash and logged out.

But fandom isn’t bad for mental health just because social media is. I am doing so, so, so much better now, and I credit a lot of it to this fandom. Quitting public defense was scary because my whole identity was bound up in being a public defender--but now I know I’m also a writer. My closest friends had previously been my work friends, and I didn’t know if those relationships would survive if I left--but I knew my fandom friendships would.

Fandom also helped more directly too, by connecting me with friends who all but literally held my hand while I cried and looked for a therapist. Who shared their experiences of depression and recovery and antidepressants. Who cheered on my job hunt, which I couldn’t share with IRL friends until I was ready to give notice. You guys know who you are and I love you.

(Also, shoutout the CO trilogy itself and especially AWTWB for convincing me that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It would be too much for anyone.)

Between quitting my old job and starting an antidepressant, it’s felt like flipping a switch. I have energy that I thought I'd just lost as part of the aging process. The new job is occasionally interesting, never dramatic, and completely harmless. It feels vaguely useful but never essential. It feels getting forklift certified after being at war. I love it.

Anyhoo. I’ve been putting off coming back on Tumblr. Even though I’ve had countless genuine, loving interactions on here, I really don’t know if I can have a healthy relationship with the hellsite. I’m writing again and want to share my stuff and cheer you on, but moderation is not my strength. Maybe I’ll try some WIP tagging to see if that feels possible to do occasionally and not obsessively.

Social media is the worst, but you are the best. I’m bbbogwitch on discord—reach out any time. Especially if you’re struggling with depression or helping-profession burnout or caretaker blues. You’re not alone.

[ao3feed-dilucnkaeya]

Thank you for the boops! Please know I am (figuratively) booping right back

[princesscockdestroyer]

NSFT COMMUNITY !!! does anyone have good recommendations for dilators :-(

[kissoflightning]

Thank you for the tag @sweeteatercat , also I remembered a Bastille song I really like (Laura Palmer). I HAVE TOO MANY FAVOURITE BANDS - THEY DON'T FIT!

@a-feral-coffee-enthusiast @sunwarmed-ash @simping-for-kamski @wyntereyez @8-rae-rae-8 (If you feel like it)

[thorinwhy]

idk how to put this, i’m still in shock... i’ll be moVING TO FREAKING NEW ZEALAND in may!!!!! it worked out, i got a job while on holiday there and my dream of making it my home is finally coming true! sorry for rambling if anyone reads this, but this is the happiest time of my life

[manna-charitable-foundation]

happy one follower

ironically i have no idea who this person is. i’m pretty sure they’re shadowbanned