#Noir Sidious

[asksiddy]

Hide away, Hide away from me~ 💕

[slemhosta]

More ART FIGHT

Noir Sidious! Find him at @asksiddy

Character belongs to LeeHoots!

[asksiddy]

Oh darling don't humble yourself like that..

If you want, I can be the judge of that~ 💖

Hey Odious, has anyone ever let you know that you are the most handsome instance of Nefarious Tropy in the multiverse?

H-h-handsome? Mere flattery! Th-that's a rather bold claim to make.

...I...no I-I can't say that anyone has told me that before b-but-

...M-maybe within the immediate foreseeable multiverse! I hardly believe you've seen very many of my other selves. Surely if you broadened your search you'd find your statement to be false. Don't toy with me like this!

[askfordoodles]

Noir Sidious @asksiddy with a braid. I just think they're neat <3

[phoenixyfriend]

Okay so, originally, I pitched this on discord:

Ahsoka… but distressed dapper. She's still a tog and all, but she's otherwise right out of a film noir setting. Rugged Detective. If Anakin were still around he'd be freaking out over the cigarette.

@jebiknights responded with:

this is a great image for post-jedi Ahsoka but also ngl part of my brain went straight to padawan Ahsoka trying to solve a mystery in the temple pretending to be a noir detective, sucking on a lollipop with a fake mustache like Nino did in s4 of Miraculous Ladybug fdijirdgjs She hasn't received shadow or spy training yet shes got a long way to go 😂 she hums her own theme music whenever she can get away with it

And we were off to the races!

I met us in the middle: after she leaves but before RotS.

Her sleuthing leads to Sidious through the most ludicrously indirect route possible.

She's not even a PI. She's a mechanic on the lower levels. She just stumbled into a thing and put on a costume to hide her identity through judicious use of Hat.

She's got an apartment across the hall from some girls who work in the red light district and one time some guys were harassing them and Ahsoka kicked them out through judicious use of Armbars And Catching Punches, which was impressive without being actively violent or revealing her Force abilities, and it was... fine? They're friends now, have pizza once in a while. Ahsoka likes hearing about their lives.

But then they decided to come to her for advice on a whole Thing at work, where they overheard some stuff about a drug deal that's taking place worryingly close, and maybe she could just keep an eye out when the deal goes down in case things go south? Please?

Ahsoka does so. She overhears things about the war in the deal (which is about information, not drugs), and. Well. She doesn't want to call home for help when she's making a whole point about needing to find herself away from them, so maybe she can just do a little digging of her own?

The red light girls insist she needs a cool outfit for her PI work (they do not care that it's not PI work). They are very excited about this.

At some point she runs into a junior Corrie Guard and steals him for a bit. He is officially "missing" and unofficially Fox was just like "fuck it, sure, help the shiny not-Jedi, I don't care." Now Ahsoka has a clone roommate/sidekick/backup who is, in fact, much more experienced in this than she is, but also has far fewer contacts and resources since they can't use CG databases while they're running this op. Meanwhile, Ahsoka has Friends, and some of her friends know a guy who knows a guy.

Fox doesn't tell the Jedi because technically this doesn't involve them (Ahsoka didn't mention the war stuff), and he has an Outside Contractor and a Coruscant Guard working on it.

He'll let them know if it goes anywhere, but for now he's assuming it's grandstanding lowlifes, and will leave it to the baby Jedi and babier Guard.

jebiknights:

a probably way too young cg helping Ahsoka while Fox aggressively pretends it isn't happening has such good- ohmygod this has psych vibes just a lil bit I've been on a psych comparison kick lately tho so

Ahsoka is trying so hard to be cool

listen psych is my favorite framework for the consulting detective schtick lmaooo AND SHES TRYING SO HARD but shes like what 16? just not there and living in the non-jedi/non-battlefront world for the first time sidgier

Her hypercompetent psychic is a babyfaced 9yo

i was thinking that she would be the psychic bc jedi but honestly convincing everyone that its the shiny corrie is so much funnier also just imagining all the stupid names they call each other as aliases

Sidekick I meant hypercomptetent sidekick

that… makes more sense ngl i was ready to yes and you all the way tho turn it into a gods whats the Jude Law movie where "Watson" is the genius who hires an actor to play "Sherlock" and has him pretend to be the genius or st?

I am, however, open to a Detective Conan situation, which has a lot more context so I'll actually use a different reference and say she pulls a Cyrano de Bergerac.

Ahsoka is stage-whispering instructions to her Corrie Guard, feeding him lines so he can pretend to be psychic while she sneaks around with significantly less eyes on her.

Also the red light girls stay involved they are so excited to Help even though Ahsoka keeps trying to keep them uninvolved for Safety. The girls love teasing her shiny friend. Please remember that all of this nonsense is happening while Ahsoka tries to dress like a prototypical film noir detective.

wait wait wait but if we go back to the original gag of, lowkey being a lil Psych/chaotic Sherlock inspired… shiny being a baby medic?? he tries to be a voice of reason but also enjoys the chaos too much, gets wayyyy too into the play acting and bad covers, but also knows how to patch up the reckless former jedi lol. Ahsoka sometimes just showing up in the Corrie medbay not for a check up but to drag the shiny into shenanigans

Fuck yeah, baby shiny Guard is now a baby shiny medic (Guard). Ahsoka regularly sneaks in through the vents to kidnap him.

Quinlan figures out she's doing Things through psychometry by accident but decides to let sleeping dogs lie until she finally shows up a the Jedi's door like "hey I need help."

The Jedi and various commanders all think it's a standard "the world is bigger and harsher than I thought and as a teen I want to come back to stability," but instead... it's "Chancellor's a Sith Lord."

Though tbh the shiny might just suggest she go to Quinlan first.

REAJGRIGJAERI Quinlan was not prepared for this at all I'm just imagining him as the airplane gag where every new thing Ahsoka reveals is just "I picked a bad day to stop [addiction]"

tbh I initially pitched the AU for Gay Reasons and that's why I was thinking post-RotS but I am now in love with mostly-competent-fumbling teen Ahsoka and her shiny friend.

[lee-hoots]

FULL MOON SPOILERS AHEAD

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Soooo as is tradition (that i myself set because I'm garbage) i drew Noir Sidious as Stolas in the newest episode of Helluva Boss

I'm totally normal about them both and also am totally mentally unstable after that episode.

[dr-narcissa-igma]

YOU MEAN THEY GOT ROSCH?? Screw sleeping entirely! If you sleep, they crawl into your homes and kidnap you while you're snoring! And you can't bring that stuff here, the pirate paparazzi will trace it to me and leak my location to the world governments!

Christ. There's a pirate now??? At this rate the islands are going to be flooded with new arrivals. They'll track me down, and the government will find me and ruin all my samples, not to mention probably execute me for my crimes. I think I may have to enter a lockdown if things get any worse.

[mechalomaniiac]

This is not really an ask, but I just wanted to say I LOVE the shade of red from your coat dahling. And the fabric as well.. is it satin? Silk mayhaps?

Whatever it might be i think it suits you quite well~

-Love, Noir Sidious 💕

“This? Oh, danke, I just put together some red gabardine and managed to make it work~ I have many more like this too, my friend!~ The sleeves never last long so I just rip them right off, hahaha!~”

[mercworm]

Noir Sidious by @lee-hoots ! I'm really happy with how this one turned out. 💚

[meadforspeed]

I found The Devil You Know, and I've not read all of it yet, but I love it so much! It makes me wanting to read all the Maul comic books, because there seems to be some really interesting stuff in there

Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!! Yes—the comics are all amazing but the books—the booooks—-just let me talk your ear off about them real quick

If you want a mid grade book to rip your still beating heart from your chest, The Wrath of Darth Maul is the ticket. Like. Starts off strong with spidermaul, then takes a jaunty romp through Maul’s objectively horrifying childhood. Incredibly bleak, primo tragic backstory, 10/10

If you want a truly wild ride from start to finish, you want Darth Maul: Lockdown. I can’t really express how insane this book is. Maul was sent to Battle Royale space prison by his shitty dad with 0 info and no weapons. There’s intrigue, and Jabba the Hutt, and heart implants, and did I mention the whole prison is this weird ever-shifting mechanical horror show? It is also, strangely, the only one of these books where Maul seems to be having a good time. He even makes friends he doesn’t kill!

If you want a noir-ish thriller set in the seedy underbelly of Coruscant, Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter is your book. It’s basically a full novel of Maul getting increasingly annoyed with/impressed by a bunch of amateurs who keep slipping through his fingers.

Darth Plagueis focuses mostly on him and Sidious but OOF. There are some Maul bits and they are doozies. The dooziest.

The Ghosts of Maul is probably my favorite, but it’s a short story not a full novel. It raises all soooooorts of interesting questions about the Sith in general, and Maul specifically.

[asksiddy]

Darling as much as I'd love to help you out on this i kinda already have, I'm sure as my biggest fan you'd know that my signature is worth enough money to keep you from asking for extra change for at least a few months! Trust me, i looked it up after you asked me~ ✨

Hey buddy, could i have 2 dollars from your wallet?

[asksiddy]

Ladiees! The time has come to sit and gawk at the handsome pirates while they fight to the death~!💖💕

[sirikenobi12]

New Fic - Sion's Offering Series

Azure Sunset (5826 words) by Siri_Kenobi12 Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Quest Series - Jude Watson, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Legends: Secrets of the Jedi - Jude Watson Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Siri Tachi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Adi Gallia & Siri Tachi, Roan Lands/Ferus Olin Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Plo Koon, Mace Windu, Ahsoka Tano, Adi Gallia, Vokara Che, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Jenna Zan Arbor, Maz Kanata, Hondo Ohnaka, Bail Organa, Jedi Council Members (Star Wars), Ferus Olin, Roan Lands Additional Tags: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Siri Tachi Needs a Hug, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, The Dark Side of the Force (Star Wars), Jedi as Found Family (Star Wars), Pro Jedi, That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), Medical Experimentation, Medical Trauma, Mystery Stories, Mystery, Human Trafficking, Forced Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Blood and Injury, Love Doesn't Equal Attachment (Star Wars), Hallucinations, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Depression, Detective Noir, Worried Obi-Wan Kenobi, Protective Obi-Wan Kenobi, Protective Mace Windu, Creepy Sheev Palpatine, Jedi Lineages (Star Wars), sith lineages Series: Part 5 of Sion's Offering Summary: “It’s nothing, I am just getting distracted.” Plo Koon had known him his entire life, and was one of the few who could see through his shields. The older Master folded his arms within the billowing sleeves of his Jedi cloak as he looked carefully at him through his goggles. “Your thoughts betray you.” He simply replied. “The last time I sensed something like this was during the blockade on Naboo.” Obi-Wan finally spoke. “I see,” Plo Koon’s deep voice rumbled. “That is significant.” *** OR: The mystery of Sion's Offering continues to be unraveled, but the answers could push all of our heroes to their breaking points. Will they be able to discover the truth before it's too late to save the Republic and the Jedi from the Sith? Takes Place during the Citadel mission in 20 BBY. (Mind the tags in this one, this one is gonna get really dark!)

[ao3feed-obikin]

13 Raisons Pourquoi

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50445013 by Talulla Inspiré de la série 13 raisons pourquoi. La Force offre une chance unique à Anakin, ancien seigneur noir des Sith Dark Vador, l'occasion de faire parvenir 13 holo-enregristrements dans le passé. Malheureusement, il ne peut pas les envoyer avant le sauvetage du chancelier Palpatine et le blocus de Coruscant. Cela sera-t-il suffisant pour sauver la république, la galaxie et Anakin? Words: 10088, Chapters: 3/15, Language: Français Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala, Yoda (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, Bail Organa, CT-7567 | Rex, Darth Maul, Mon Mothma, Ahsoka Tano, Mace Windu, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano Additional Tags: References to Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), Family, Frenemies, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Inspired by 13 Reasons Why (TV), Romance, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader Redemption, The World Between Worlds (Star Wars), Padmé Amidala Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/50445013

[asksiddy]

It would be an awful shame to have that little issue fixed. I do find it quite charming that they all point to midday when you're flustered~💕

Why you have all this clocks on you? Aren't they heavy??

-Et-her

Well, to state the obvious, they tell me the time. However, I'll indulge you with an explanation.

My coat is layered and in between the layers is an intricate network of sensors. The clocks are powered by the minor electrical currents in my body. Essentially they are connected to my "internal clock" if you will. Every time my body undergoes a shift in dimensions, the clock around my waistband will adjust accordingly with time dilation. The other two are adjusted to the previous two dimensions I've traversed respectively. I'll never be without a sense of time whilst traveling.

...But the one kink I haven't been able to hammer out with these blasted things is my heart rate. My internal functions maintain consistency, but my heart rate can interfere with the speed at which the hands move. It's incredibly frustrating and I hope one of these days I'll have that fixed, but it's not very high on my list of projects right now.

Though I must admit, 3 is a bit... excessive. I couldn't tell you why I decided on that number. The rule of 3 in tandem with my unusual fondness for clocks I suppose. Regardless, they are not heavy at all. I've made them myself out of a brass alloy. A bit heavy for buttons perhaps, but not nearly so much as to intrude on my day to day tasks.

[doctor-rosch]

I hope I'm not to late for this, but you have been looking for work, have you not? Your interest in my machinery has gotten me to consider hiring you to mayhaps manage them? It's an absolute nightmare to take them to the mechanic with how busy i am so having one on sight would be a wonderful improvement~ ✨

The question remains though...Do you have experience with mechanics?

-Much love, Noir Sidious 💕

I’m really a “rise and grind” kind of guy! Always looking for work! And now I’m looking for the eh- not dying kind. Mechanic? Yea that works.

Look, Sidious, when you’ve been around for as long as I have, you pick up a few things. Yes I have experience. Just this morning my microwave wouldn’t turn on so I gave it the old Rosch charm and now the door won’t close either.

That being said I also did maintain 300 acres of land chockfull of irrigation systems, planting tools and experimental doodads so I wouldn’t be out of my depth. I’m sure that part of me is still in there somewhere.

I accept. Get me the blueprints, nice overalls, keys to every room in the building, a coffeemaker and a new microwave.