#Nobody owes me an explanation. That’s okay I think

[ihhfhonao3]

I hope you heal from the things you don’t talk about. I hope you heal from the things that you do talk about, but others don’t listen to. I hope you heal from the things that only a few people understand the whole story behind, and you don’t feel like explaining them to people again and again

[myheroacademiashorts]

"Shut Up, I'm Trying to Ask You Out."

Katsuki Bakugo wasn't sure exactly when it started, but he was pretty sure he hated your guts.

It started during the first few days of school. You turned towards him, desk only a foot away from his, and smiled so brightly that it made his chest hurt. He thought he was sick, and after a useless trip to the nurse's office, found himself at the peak of health. It happened again not too long after, when you laughed at Dunce Face's stupid joke. He had felt his chest again, as well as a rush of heat to his ears. And the symptoms continued for months, still persisting. There was only one explanation to these weird reactions.

Katsuki hated you so much that it made his body react, too.

He glowered at you from across the classroom, watching you toss your head back as laughter spilled from your lips. One of your hands was grasping onto Dumb Hair's arm, and the sharp-toothed red head didn't seem to be complaining about it one bit. "Tch." Katsuki clicked his tongue, feeling that familiar pang once more before turning his gaze towards the window.

"Getting jealous again, are we?" Raccoon Eyes nudged his arm, wiggling her eyes between him and you.

"Hell no. What would I be jealous about? Over some shitty nobody? Yeah, right." Despite having just averted his gaze, Katsuki's ruby eyes tracked you down once more. You had removed your hand - thank hell - but instead of seeing your turned away face, the hot-headed boy met your steady gaze. He held it for a moment, and you titled your head at him. Almost curiously. Then you smiled, and that awful thump happened again. He turned back to the window, grinding his teeth together.

Yup. There was no better explanation. He really, really didn't like you.

And with all of his great fuckin' luck, he just had to have been caught "staring" at you by his "friends."

"Oh, to be young and in love!" Dunce Face dramatically pressed his hand to his forehead, swaying from side to side before falling gracefully into Racoon Eyes' arms. "Kiss me, Bakugou!" He said in a false falsetto, followed by a series of kissing noises. The pair erupted into giggles and shrieks as Katsuki sent a warning glare in their direction.

"I'm not in love. I hate her, remember?"

Racoon Eyes shook her head, propping herself up from the ground. "That's what you think. Have you ever even thought about the possibility that you might... gasp... have a crush?"

Katsuki didn't respond, only grumbling incoherently as he stared down at the book in his hands. It was supposed to be a study session, with Katsuki on the couch and the two idiots sitting in front of him, their homework splayed out on the coffee table in a jumbled mess.

"C'mon, Mina. That would mean Bakugo has a hear- ow." Dunce Face rubbed the back of his head, still registering that he was just smacked with Katsuki's heavy book. "Hey, you'll regret that."

Katsuki grinned. "Yeah? I'd like to see you fuckin' try."

Dunce Face's attention flitted elsewhere, and that dumb grin spread across his face. He held up his hand. "Y/N! Just in time! Come join us!"

Katsuki froze, eyes narrowing. "Stop fucking with me, Sparky. We both know you-re just-"

He felt your hands on his shoulders first, then the smell of your perfume. It was fruity and sweet, like some kind of strawberry shortcake. "Hey! Are you guy's studying? I'd love to join, if that's okay!"

He couldn't do anything. His mouth had dried up, body frozen as it tried to catch up with his brain. His breath caught in his throat. When your hands lifted from his shoulders, he almost sighed out of disappointment. Him. Out of all people. And it hit him like a truck that maybe, just maybe, those two damn idiots might've been right. For the first and last time in their lives.

You didn't wait for a response, instead hopping over the couch cushions and sitting beside Katsuki. He couldn't even look at you straight, only sparing you a side-glance and offering a mumbled "what's up."

What's up? He doesn't ever say stuff like that, and his ears began to burn. His two so-called friends exchanged a look. You didn't seem to notice, instead leaning closer to Katsuki to get a better look at his book. "Hey! What are you studying? Literature? That's one of my favorite classes."

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and his breath caught in his throat as he finally looked at your face as you stared down at the book in his hands.

You were beautiful. He always knew, deep down, you were pretty. But it hit him so much harder when you were right beside him, eyes glittering as they studied something, pink lips curling into a soft and natural smile. You were so different compared to him; soft, polite, understanding. He was an ass.

Your eyes moved upwards, and he quickly averted his gaze, hoping you didn't catch him staring. Racoon Eyes cleared her throat. "You know, I think I forgot that book in my room. Right, Kaminari? Didn't you forget yours, too?"

"Huh? No, I have it right-"

"KAMINARI. Didn't. You. Forget. It?"

Those two brain cells of his finally rubbed together. "Oh! Oh yes, I did. Darn! Let's go together to grab our books, Mina! We'll be right back!" Dunce Face was robotic, standing up and marching out of the living room towards the dorms. Racoon Eyes was right on his heels, sparing a thumbs-up at Katsuki before disappearing behind the doorframe.

"Damn idiots."

"Yeah, sometimes. But that's what makes them fun, right?"

Katsuki snapped his head to you, eyes wide. That may have been the meanest thing he had ever heard you say, and that was saying a lot. "Uh... Yeah, I guess. Sometimes."

"So, while we're waiting for them, what do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, maybe that wasn't the best way to start. Sorry, I'm just nervous." You smiled sheepishly, scratching at your cheek and moving your eyes elsewhere.

You had the ball in his court, and Katsuki wasn't sure how to play. He felt clammy and weird, his chest doing that weird thing again. Except this time, it was worse. It felt like his heart was working overtime.

"Nervous? Why?"

"Well... We don't really talk too much with one another, right? I was just trying to learn more about you, I guess."

You wanted to know more. About him.

"I like spicy food." Katsuki blurted out. He didn't really think about the words, just letting them escape mindlessly. "I like food so spicy that it hurts. I used to make this hot curry for my mom and dad, and one time my dad couldn't get past the first bite because he complained it was going to burn off his taste buds. But I called bullshit."

The silence only stretched for a few seconds, but to Katsuki, it felt like an eon. Then, you laughed. It was the first time you had ever laughed at something he said. Not Dunce Face, not Hair-For-Brains. Him. Katsuki Bakugo. It was like bells, light and airy. Soon, he was chuckling beside you. Your laugh was contagious.

"I also like spicy food, but maybe not that spicy. I also really like sweet stuff."

"Like strawberries?"

You tilted your head at him. That curious tilt. "Yeah! How did you know? That's my favorite."

"You smell like strawberries."

Oh shit. Oh, fuck. That sounded so weird, and by the time the words registered in Katsuki's brain, they had already left his lips. And now you heard them too, and you also probably thought he was weird, and shit fuck god damnit-

"Oh! You have a really great sense of smell! It's a new shampoo. I think you're the first to point it out!"

"Yeah, it's pretty fucking strong. It smells good, though! I wasn't saying you smelt bad or anything like that, just that it was the first thing I noticed when you came up. Shit, not that I'm saying I sniff you or something fucking weird like that, just-" Katsuki was stuck rambling, and he wished for lightning to strike him down.

You placed a hand on his arm, and Katsuki zipped right up. "Hey, that's amazing that you noticed that! Honestly, you have a scent too. But yours isn't strawberries. Sorry to burst your bubble." Now you were joking with him. You started giggling at your own joke, and Katsuki wanted to bury his face in his hands to hide the redness spreading across his cheeks. How were you so goddamn cute?

"Damn. Don't know how I'll survive." He sounded too dry, but you didn't seem to mind as you graced him with your laughter. And then, something popped up in his brain. If he did have a "crush", then maybe he should just...

"Hey, have you heard of that new cafe that just opened last week? It's supposed to have a whole strawberry menu. Or some shit like that. Seasonal thing or whatever."

You perked up, eyes having that familiar sparkle. "Really? That sounds amazing! Maybe I can ask Mina and Jiro to come with me, or even Uraraka. She'd probably love it, too!"

Katsuki deflated, but only a bit. "Yeah, those are good ideas. But I bet someone else might wanna go with you."

"Oh, yeah? I guess it wouldn't be nice to leave Kirishima out, since he likes strawberries, too. Or maybe you mean Sero? He always talks about trying new foods. Oh! How about..." You were rambling now, listing off classmates to join you. But the only one you never mentioned was Katsuki. And it was starting to frustrate him. He kept his cool, up until you just had to mention-

"Midoriya could come, too! He's always so-"

"Hell, will you please shut up? I was trying to ask you out on a date!"

It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open in shock as you just... stared at him. And Katsuki Bakugo quickly realized he fucked up. "God damnit, I didn't mean to yell at you. Fuck, I was just trying to-"

"Yes. Yes, I'll go with you."

He snapped his neck so quickly towards you, he was surprised it didn't break. "What? Really?"

"Katsuki. Of course, I'll go with you. I think it would be really fun. And I was being honest when I said I wanted to get to know you better."

"Oh... Okay. Great. That's great."

You glanced around the room. "How about now?"

"Now? Hell yeah. Let's go. Fuck the study group."

Katsuki bolted out of his seat a bit too excitedly, and you stifled back a grin. No need in embarrassing him. You pushed yourself up, grabbing his arm once more. "C'mon. Dessert's on me today. But I'll expect you to pay for both of us next time."

Next time. You were already planning for a next time before the "this time" had begun. Katsuki couldn't stop his grin, standing up a bit straighter. "I think I can deal with that. Let's go. We don't have all day."

It wasn't until weeks later that Katsuki actually asked you out. Officially. But it only took him a day to find out that Kaminari and Mina had made a bet about the first date, with Mina declared the winner. Let's just say her winnings benefitted Katsuki more than her.

Especially since he ended up taking the cash for himself and your guy's second date. Thanks, Mina.

[karizard-ao3]

Read the deleted scenes from the one million words livestream!

Hello everyone! I received a request to post the deleted scenes I read during my one million words live stream on Tumblr, which is an excellent idea and so here they are! They are available below the break.

(Please note this is just the text of the deleted scenes. In the livestream I gave a quick little background explanation for each scene and also had fun facts about my fics and the writing process on a slideshow that ran while I read. You don't need that info to enjoy these scenes, but just to let you know that there is more in the video if it is of interest to you.)

Feel free to ask me questions about the deleted scenes as well! Keep in mind they are copy-pasted directly from my drafts and might have weird formatting or other errors because they were not edited.

Here we go!

Clueless Teens

Connie’s birthday party, Eren gives Armin romantic advice

Armin sat between Eren and Mikasa, wringing his hands as he watched Annie and Sandra chatting together, even going so far as to  share a plate of chips.

"I can't believe they know each other," Armin groaned.

"What's wrong with that?" asked Eren. 

Armin sighed. "I'm afraid I'm going to break up their friendship."

Eren cocked his head. "Why?"

"Because if they start fighting over me," said Armin fretfully.

"Oh," said Mikasa, rubbing his back. "I think you're giving yourself too much credit."

Armin gave her a wounded look. "Why is it so hard to believe two girls might fight over me?"

"Because Annie doesn't want a boyfriend and Sandra only just met you," said Mikasa, soothingly. "I'm sure you could have a very ugly love triangle under different circumstances."

"Thanks," said Armin.

"You should just tell Sandra you used to like Annie," said Mikasa. 

"But what would I say?" asked Armin.

"I don't know," said Mikasa.

"'Hey, Sandra. I just wanted to let you know that I used to be so in love with Annie that I almost broke my friend's nose at Outback Steakhouse just for a chance to get rejected by her," suggested Eren.

Armin glared at him. "Stop bringing that up."

Eren shrugged. "Okay, then just be like, 'I just wanted to let you know that I used to have a bit of a thing for Annie, but it's over now. I didn't want you to find out from someone else.'"

Armin gawped at him. 

"What?" said Eren, bristling. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," said Armin, sounding shocked. "That's actually really good."

"Don't look so surprised," grumbled Eren. "I'm not completely useless."

Mikasa makes a scene in history

Like, one time in History class a guy had said that women didn’t make it into the history books because they didn’t do anything worth remembering. Mikasa had stood up and chucked her textbook right at his head. 

“Ow, what the fuck, you crazy bitch?” he’d demanded, jumping out of his chair to face off against her. Eren had stood up also, ready to jump in if she needed backup. 

“Just forget about it,” Mikasa snapped. “After all, I’m only a woman. Just like Joan of Arc or Marie Curie or Mary Shelley or Cleopatra or Harriet Tubman. We’re all just a bunch of boring women who haven’t done anything worth remembering, right?”

“Shut up,” said the guy, rubbing his head. “They don’t count.”

“You don’t count,” Mikasa had hissed. “You fucking nobody.”

Mr. Smith put a hand on her arm. “I appreciate your passion but you are going to have to go see the dean now, Miss Ackerman.”

She’d flounced out of the room, and the only reason she didn’t get suspended or moved to a different class was because the principal, for some reason, had intervened.

Deleted Relationship Reveal Scene

“So are Eren and Mikasa going out now?” asked Connie, sitting next to Sasha and eating a croissant sandwich. 

“I’m not sure,” said Sasha, eyeing Connie’s breakfast lustfully. “She changed her relationship status, but he didn’t.”

“Maybe she got with Porco after all,” said Connie, taking a sip of chocolate milk.

“Who got with Porco?” asked Annie, striding up with a coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. Sasha licked her lips, pointedly staring at the bagel, but Annie just scooted away and sat on the other side of Connie. 

“Mikasa,” said Connie. “She changed her relationship status but Eren didn’t.”

Annie frowned as she considered this. “Where is Mikasa? Isn’t she usually here already?”

“Yeah,” said Sasha. “Eren, too.”

“And Armin,” said Connie, helpfully.

Annie winced at the sound of his name and pulled her phone out of her pocket, dialing Mikasa’s number. “Hey,” she said, when Mikasa picked up. “Where are you?”

“I’m almost at school,” said Mikasa.

“Is Eren with her?” asked Connie.

“Is Eren with you?” asked Annie, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m with my boyfriend,” Mikasa said, cheerfully and unhelpfully. 

“That wasn’t what I asked,” said Annie.

“Oh, we’re at the gates. See you soon!” said Mikasa, hanging up.

“Well?” said Sasha.

“She said she’s with her boyfriend,” said Annie, dryly. 

“Ooooooooh!” said Connie. 

“If it’s not Eren he’s going to be pissed when he finds out,” said Sasha. 

“Maybe that’s why he’s not at school today,” said Connie. “Oh! Maybe her new boyfriend is Armin so Eren stayed home to cry about it.”

“That’s impossible,” snapped Annie, stopping herself just before she revealed that Armin was seeing a different girl. That wasn’t her business to spread around. “Armin and Mikasa are just friends.” Connie pouted at her, pretending to be wounded by her tone. She sighed. She’d been in a bad mood since talking to Armin the night before. “Sorry, Connie,” she said. 

“That’s alright,” said Connie, shrugging.

“Hi, guys!” said Mikasa, smugly. The three friends turned to see who the mysterious boyfriend was and were not at all surprised to see Eren standing next to her with his arm around her shoulder and a shit-eating grin on his face. Annie could already tell they were going to be insufferable together. 

“Eren!” said Sasha, devilishly. “We thought Mikasa got back together with Porco because she updated her relationship status and you didn’t.”

Eren grimaced. “Is there, like, a registry I’m supposed to call or something?” he asked.

“She just means on Myspace,” whispered Mikasa. Eren’s face cleared. 

“Oh, I’ll do that this afternoon,” he said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. 

I don’t remember what this was for

“Eren, are you alright in there?" Carla called through his door, her voice heavy with concern. "You sound like an injured pygmy goat."

"That's really specific, Mom," Eren said, opening the door to show her that he was physically fine.

"You were too little to remember, but one time I took you to the petting zoo and-"

"Is the goat okay now?" Eren sighed. He didn't want to know what he had done to it.

"It's probably dead," said Carla. "This was thirteen years ago."

Eren looked at her as though he was about to join the goat in death if she didn't answer his fucking question.

"He had to wear a little cast. It was so cute they put it in the news."

"Oh my god, Mom! I broke a pygmy goat’s leg?”

Carla looked at him like she had never seen him before in her life. "Of course not. We were just there when it happened. I think it tripped in a hole?"

"It wasn't me?" asked Eren. 

"No!" said Carla. 

"Oh thank god," Eren sighed.

"My question was, why are you bleating like that poor little goat in there?"

Bonfire

Up in the mountains, Annie, Sasha, and Mikasa were standing on the shore of the lake in their bathing suits, looking at the water. Icy slush floated on the gently lapping surface near their feet, larger chunks bobbing out in the middle of the water. Connie was sitting on the hood of Sasha's car, bundled against the chilly mountain breeze in a hoodie, jeans, and a beanie. He had his camcorder in hand.

"I'm still recording!" he called out. "Have been for, like, three minutes."

"On the count of three," said Annie, looking around at the other girls. "Winner gets bragging rights."

Sasha and Mikasa nodded, squaring their shoulders.

"One!" shouted Annie.

The girls got into position.

"Two!” shouted Annie, bracing herself. Mikasa gritted her teeth in determination. Sasha looked over her shoulder at Connie, grimacing briefly before turning back to the lake.

"Three!" Annie screamed. The girls ran into the water, splashing and squealing.

"Nope, fuck this!" said Sasha, turning around and running back out. She shivered as she grabbed her towel off of a rock and sped over to the car to change back into her clothes. 

When she joined Connie on the hood of the car, she saw that Annie and Mikasa had both waded out to shoulder depth. Mikasa had had to go farther out than their petite friend and was staring stonily at nothing. Annie was frowning, her brows knit. She snuck a glance at Mikasa, then frowned even harder.

"She looks like she's getting cold," said Sasha. "I think she's trembling."

"You're going to have to go in and get her if she passes out from hypothermia," said Connie. "Does hypothermia make you faint?"

"Why do I have to do it?" complained Sasha. 

"Because you are bigger than me," said Connie, pitifully. "The cold would cut right through my tiny bones."

Sasha snickered and patted him on the head. "You're right, my little potato. You are much too delicate," she cooed, facetiously.

Connie grinned, then looked back out at their friends. "Ah. Looks like Annie is giving up. You're off the hook." 

Sasha looked, too. Annie was scowling as she stalked out of the water, her fists clenched at her sides, her entire body shaking from the cold. Sasha hopped up and ran down to meet her, grabbing Annie's towel and wrapping it around her. Annie's teeth chattered as Sasha dried her off. 

"Are you okay?" asked Mikasa, coming up behind Annie with a look of concern. She was barely shivering and hadn't even bothered to grab her towel yet.

"Ha!" said Annie, her air of bravado somewhat demeaned by her purple lips and goose bumps. "Too cold for you in there?"

"No," said Mikasa, finally going and grabbing her towel but not using it. "Ackermans are very hardy. It just seemed pointless to stay out there when I'd already won."

"Bitch," muttered Annie with no malice whatsoever as Mikasa draped her in her towel.

While the two girls changed into their clothes, Connie and Sasha perched next to each other on a log, peacefully texting their significant others and eating Fritos. 

"What's Mina doing today?" asked Sasha. "Why didn't she come?" 

"Her family went to the aquarium for her cousin's birthday," said Connie. "She said she's going to bring me a souvenir."

"I like her," said Sasha with great feeling. 

"Me, too," said Connie, happily. “Did I tell you she had three cats? And she wants to get a kitten.”

“She collects cats like my parents collect foster kids,” said Sasha with a laugh. “Kaya’s going back home to her Mom, though. Did I tell you?”

“Is her Mom doing better then?” asked Connie. 

“She’s out of the hospital. She has to do some physical therapy for her legs but she can get around okay with her crutches,” said Sasha, smiling wistfully. “I’m going to miss that kid but I’m glad she gets to be with her Mom again.”

The car door slammed and Annie and Mikasa emerged, dressed more appropriately for the chilly mountain air. They came to perch on the log next to Connie and Sasha.

“So what now?” asked Annie. 

"We should have a bonfire," said Connie, tucking his phone in his pocket, gesturing to a fire pit a previous visitor had dug and ringed with stones. "You always have a lighter, right, Annie?"

She withdrew the item in question from her pocket and held it up. 

"Sweet," said Connie, hopping down from the hood and beginning to collect fallen twigs and branches. Mikasa moved to join him but was interrupted by the ringing of her phone.

She looked at the screen. "Oh, it's Eren," she said, blushing as she answered it.

"See if he wants to come for the bonfire," said Connie.

Mikasa nodded as she wandered a short distance away with the phone, twirling her hair around her finger as she talked.

“Hi, Eren,” she said. 

“Hi, Mikasa.”

“Are you and Armin lost?”

“Yeah,” said Eren sheepishly. 

The rest of the kids continued prepping for the bonfire, Annie and Connie collecting the wood while Sasha laid the sticks out, ready to be lit.

Mikasa was smiling dreamily when she hung up the phone and came over to help her friends try to roll a fallen log over to the fire pit. 

"So is your boyfriend coming?" asked Sasha, digging her heels into the soft mulch of the forest floor and managing to shift the log slightly.

"He's not my boyfriend!" said Mikasa, her recently vacated cheeks filling back up with blood. Then she paused and grinned impishly. "Yet, anyways.

Connie hooted.

"He's with Armin," Mikasa said, leaning into the log with her friends. "They're going to try to find a ride." 

"So how was your date?" Sasha asked. "I've been waiting for you to bring it up yourself but you're being too classy." 

"It was good!" said Mikasa, emphatically. 

Her friends waited expectantly but she didn't add anything. 

"Did you guys have your first kiss?" Sasha probed.

"No," said Mikasa, truthfully. 

“He’s such a wimp,” scoffed Sasha. 

“Come on Mikasa, what the hell?” said Annie. “After all that whining about how much you like him you didn’t even try to kiss him?”

"We did kiss though," said Mikasa, a shade too innocently.

Her friends stared at her blankly. Improbably, Connie was the first one to get it. He hooted again, jumping around with glee.

"I knew it! I knew it!" he screeched. "I knew you guys had already hooked up! I said it months ago and I was right! I said, ‘Eren has definitely touched Mikasa’s butt’ and nobody believed me but I was right, wasn’t I? Wasn’t I?"

"How could you tell?" asked Mikasa, her eyes wide. 

"What???" shrieked Sasha, her mouth falling open. 

“Mikasa, you fucking skank!” said Annie, grinning widely. 

Mikasa shrugged, looking smug as she put her shoulder back into the log. Now that she knew Eren liked her back, she didn’t mind staking her claim a little bit. 

Anamnesis

Yumihisu New year’s Eve deleted scene

Historia smacked her lips together, inspecting her lipstick in the mirror. 

“You look good,” said Ymir, sprawled out on Historia’s bed, lazily buttoning her shirt back up. 

“Thank you!” said Historia, flipping her hair and turning to smile dazzlingly at Ymir. “Thank you for coming to this dumb gala with me.”

“I don’t know. It sounds kind of fun,” said Ymir. “Hobnobbing with the governor and all his rich friends? Eating caviar? It’s going to be the glitziest New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, I felt the same way when I went to my first Reiss event,” said Historia, perching on the edge of her bed. “But you find out pretty quick that money is nice, but the people who have it aren’t. You’ll see when you meet my ‘family’.” Historia rolled her eyes with a weary sigh. 

“That bad, huh?” said Ymir.

“Well, Frieda’s okay,” Historia conceded. “She’s just kind of out of touch because, you know, she’s never wondered if there were enough cans of baked beans in the cupboard to keep her full until payday. Not that I’ve had to do that in a while. It just… you know. Perspective.”

“Yeah,” said Ymir. “It’s like the more I learn about film and TV production, the more I notice the technical details when I watch something. Like, there’s all this background info in my head that the average television enjoyer doesn’t have. And, like, it changes the way you see things.”

Eren at the coffee shop, two versions

"I don't fucking care!" said Eren. "Caramel! Fancy! Those are the only two requirements."

The barista began tapping grimly on the register, bitterly composing the most expensive custom drink he possibly could. "Okay, fifteen dollars."

"And an Americano for me," said Eren, pulling out his wallet and handing the barista a twenty, then catching his eye and glaring at him intensely. "If my date doesn't cry tears of joy because I got her the best caramel coffee she's ever tasted, I will find out what time you're off and come back here every single day to order the most obnoxious, complicated drink I possibly can right before the end of your shift. And then when you bring it to me, I'm going to say you made it wrong. And then you're going to have to do it all over again. You will never be on time for class again."

The barista pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll put whipped cream on it."

"Thanks," said Eren, flouncing away.

The barista watched him go, his eyebrows set in a straight line across his forehead. He fucking hated his life, and, more importantly, he hated Eren. 

"I don't think the barista likes you," Mikasa commented as Eren sat back down across from her. The young man was bustling around, blending coffee and squirting caramel and looking over his shoulder to glare daggers at her date.

"Yeah, no. Somewhere along the line we became sworn enemies," said Eren, unbothered. "I fucking hate him, too."

"Why?" said Mikasa.

Eren shrugged. "I just do."

"An Americano and a caramel bitch drink for the dumbfuck in the green shirt," called the barista, looking bored.

Eren clenched his fists. 

"I'll go grab them and then let's go for a walk," said Mikasa, standing up. 

"Yeah, okay," said Eren. "Tell me what you think of your coffee. If you don't like it, I'll make him pay."

***

"The usual?" asked the barista, looking annoyed as Eren approached the counter. 

"No, I'm going to buy something today," said Eren, studying the menu. "What's your fanciest caramel drink?"

"Hot or iced?"

"What's sexier?" said Eren.

The barista looked at him. 

"Well?" said Eren. "It's iced coffee, right? Because the cups are see-through?"

"Uh, sure," said the barista. "I guess maybe an iced caramel latte?"

"No, no. I'm trying to impress someone," said Eren, tapping his foot. "It needs to be fancier."

"I don't know what you want me to do. This isn't that kind of coffee shop," said the barista. "We have three flavors of syrup and we don't even have oat milk."

"Fuck," said Eren. "Well, make a caramel latte and zazz it up, then, I guess. Fuck." He rubbed his eyes. "She's never going to fall for me now. I'm going to die alone."

The barista pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll put whipped cream on it."

Eren drooped with relief. "Thanks man. And an Americano for me." He pulled out his wallet and handed the barista a twenty, turning around to smile at Mikasa as he waited for his change.

Downton Abbey

"What show are we watching?"

"I want to try Downton Abbey. I heard it's good."

"Okay," said Eren, letting her steer the conversation towards less troubled waters. "I could go for some old timey etiquette and shit."

Mikasa extracted herself from him and set the timer for the enchiladas, then turned to smile at Eren. He crooked his elbow and offered it to her. "My lady? May I escort you to the viewing parlor or whatever you want to call it?"

Mikasa beamed, linking her arm through his. "You are most kind," she said, her assumed British accent melting in Eren's ears like pound cake on his tongue. 

"You do that really good," he said.

"Oh, well. I suppose one tends to hone the skill when they have a passion for the stage," she said, peering at him coyly from the corner of her eyes.

He plopped down on the couch, pulling her into his lap. "It's sexy," he said, with a crooked grin, brushing a kiss across her jaw.

"My lord!" she gasped, letting her hand flutter to her bosom. "We are unwed! What will the servants think?"

“Let them think whatever they want,” he said, gamely playing along.

“This is most improper,” said Mikasa, playing with the collar of Eren’s shirt,

Eren growled, nipping at her throat. 

Mikasa giggled. "Do you like accents?" she asked in her normal voice.

"I like when you do accents," Eren said, his tongue drawing little hearts and curlicues over her pulse. She drew in a shaky breath as his large hands encircled her waist, then crept beneath her top and unfurled across her back.

"Shall I continue then?" she asked, the posh London accent inflating her vowels and cushioning her consonants. 

"Please do," he said, his voice vibrating against her skin as he let his lips travel over her skin, leaving blossoms of heat in their wake. 

Single Parents AU

Adri clothes shopping

She bit her lip, debating for a moment before she asked, "If I ever see something Adri might like, can I buy it for her?"

Eren didn't know why the request delighted him so much. "Yeah, of course," he said. "I can pay you back if you keep the receipts."

"That won't be necessary," said Mikasa, smiling to herself and moving to another rack. Adri watched her with greedy anticipation. She hated Makaka but she loved clothes. She hoped she would buy her some today.

"C'mon, bug. Let's get you some new leggings while we're here," said Eren, steering the cart away from Mikasa. "You've got holes in most of yours."

Adri was released from the shopping cart to assist in the legging selection. "You can pick six," said Eren, holding up the corresponding number of fingers. "That's 1-2-3-4-5-6."

"Otay," said Adri, squatting in front of the display shelf and evaluating her options.

When Mikasa joined them, she was empty handed besides her cup of iced tea. "I need to grab Mason some socks," she murmured. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," said Eren, watching her go with a soft pang of loneliness. He shook his head to chase the feeling away. He was just being a little dramatic because of how long it had been since he'd seen her, he was sure. It was as if she'd taken part of him with her when she disappeared and, now that she'd brought it back, he felt more like himself than he had in years. He didn't have long to ponder on the reason for that. She was back almost right away with a package of socks and a couple t-shirts.

"Are dose for me?" asked Adri, standing up with her armful of leggings and peering at Mikasa's purchases. 

"These are for Mason," said Mikasa, patting the shirts she had draped over her arm. "I don't know what kind of clothes you like yet. I want to buy you something you'll wear."

Adri's nose twitched. 

"Maybe you can do a fashion show for me the next time I'm at your house," Mikasa offered, well aware that she was trying to suck up to a three-year-old while also putting out feelers to see if Eren would even want to see her again. 

"That sounds fun!" said Eren, jumping for the bait. "You can be a model, peanut."

Christmas shopping

“Do you want to get a picture with Santa?” Eren asked, bumping Mikasa with her shoulder. 

“Oh, god no,” she said, glancing at the long line snaking around the mall’s North Pole Village. “Even when I was a little kid I had no interest in waiting around to sit on some old guy’s lap.”

“You didn’t want to meet Santa?” asked Eren. 

“That’s not Santa,” said Mikasa, stopping in front of a candle store. “Should I get Porco Galliard a candle?” she wondered. 

“Why should you get him anything?” asked Eren, bristling. 

Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him. “Because I always get a gift for Mason’s teachers at Christmas.”

“Oh,” said Eren. “Then I guess you could.”

Mikasa pursed her lips, considering. “I don’t know,” she said. “It probably wouldn’t hurt to get a few just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” asked Eren, picturing a city-wide power outage, but confident that was not what she was planning for. 

“In case someone unexpectedly gives me a present, so I have something to give back,” said Mikasa, walking through the entryway. They were assaulted by a wall of fragrance. “God,” she said, picking up a candle and giving it a quick sniff. “Let’s move quick. Do they have any winter ones?”

“Uh…” said Eren, looking around. Christmas shopping hadn’t been what he would have picked for their second date, but Ryu had finals and was working extra shifts at the restaurant to take advantage of holiday generosity and get as many tips as possible. This was the only night he’d been free to watch Mason and she needed to use it to buy gifts, so they’d had to make do. “I think they have some over there,” he said, pointing at a table laden with wax-filled glass jars. 

Mikasa hurried over, read the sign advertising the shop’s current sale pricing, and grabbed five at random, carrying the armful over to the queue. Eren followed behind her, weaving between the crowds of shoppers until he came to a stop at her side. “You didn’t want a basket?” he said, taking three of the candles from her. 

“That would have been smart,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking about it. I’m more worried about getting out of here fast to avoid the smell.” She touched one of the remaining two candles to her temple. Oh, that’s right, thought Eren. Mikasa had actually worked here once as a teenager, for a single day. She’d come in for her first day of training and ended up quitting and leaving part way through because the overabundance of scents had triggered a migraine. She’d told him about it during their next tutoring session and he’d retaliated against the store by shoplifting a backpack full of votives, which he had then given to Historia because he didn’t give a shit about scented candles and he wanted to annoy her. 

His disdain for candles still intact, Eren plucked the last two from Mikasa’s hands. 

“Get out of here, you nut,” he said. 

“Huh?” she said. 

“You heard me,” he said. “I’ll get the candles, you go wait for me where it’s safe.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. 

Eren frowned at her. “Why the hell would I let you stand here and give yourself a headache when I’m right here and impervious to the fumes?” 

Mikasa took a half step towards the exit, doubtful. “It’s not too much trouble?” she asked.

“Of course not! Go!” he ordered, nudging her with his toe. 

They reconvened outside the candle shop about twenty minutes later, which wasn’t too bad given the Christmas crowds. Mikasa was waiting for Eren on a bench near the store entrance, rolling her neck absent-mindedly. Eren plopped down next to her, setting the bag of candles between his feet, spreading his legs so that his knee brushed against hers. "We got you out in time, right? Your head feels fine?" he asked. 

Mikasa nodded, lacing her fingers through his. He tensed for a flustered moment before he relaxed into her touch, settling their joined hands on his thigh and grinning down at her. "Thank you," she said, tossing her head to get her bangs out of her eyes. "I feel bad for making you do that."

Eren furrowed his brow at her, his lips twisting into an incredulous smile. "You didn't make me do anything. I offered."

"But you had to stand in line for me," persisted Mikasa.

"So?" said Eren. "Don't you think I'd rather do that than let you get a migraine?"

"Still, it could have been avoided. I didn't have to get candles," fretted Mikasa, tugging on her hair. "Or I could have ordered them online."

Eren grabbed her chin. "Mikasa, stop. Not only are we friends, we're dating." He paused. They were dating, right? Like, it was only their second date, but it was reasonable to assume they'd go on more, wasn't it? They’d been sneaking a lot of kisses when the kids weren’t looking. "Are we dating or did I get ahead of myself?" he said, holding his breath.

"We’re dating," said Mikasa. 

Eren exhaled. "Then we should be doing stuff for each other," he concluded.

Doubt sprouted across Mikasa’s face. "But…"

"Let me clarify," said Eren, leaning towards her so their noses were almost touching, her chin still caught between his fingers. "I want to do things for you. I'm looking for a partner, not a personal assistant."

He pressed a small, soft kiss to her lips, then released her with a grin, his point made and the matter resolved. 

Or, that’s what he thought until unexpected tears welled up in her eyes. 

Eren’s face went white. “Mikasa…” he said, but she was already standing up and dragging him, stumbling, behind her. He hooked the bag of candles, nearly abandoned, with his foot and sent it sliding up the glossy tile floor ahead of them, then swiped it up from the ground on his way past as he regained his footing and began trotting after her, pouring apologies and hoping she had noticed that pretty sweet bit of footwork he’d just pulled off. He hadn’t played soccer in years but he still had it. Maybe she would be so impressed by his prowess that she would forget about whatever he’d done to fuck up. 

“Mikasa, did I say something wrong?” he asked.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she yanked him into an alcove that once housed payphones and now gave shelter to nothing, then turned around to face him, her eyebrows drawn together in a firm line, her eyes wet, glimmering, and boiling hot. She grabbed his sweatshirt, clenching it in her fists. Oh, shit. He was in trouble.

“I’m so sorry if I – mmmmfff,” he said, his fiftieth apology abruptly aborted when she yanked him down to her and crushed her lips against his. 

It took Eren a second to switch gears from groveling to making out, but as soon as he did, he grabbed her hips and pushed her back against the wall, pinning her to it with his weight as their tongues tangled together. 

“I thought you were mad at me,” he said, breathless. 

“God, no,” she said, kissing him again. “That was so hot.”

Eren grabbed her face, brushing his thumbs over the ridge of her cheekbones. They came away wet and he pulled back just enough to look at her, showing her the liquid glistening on the pads of his thumbs, raising his eyebrows. “And yet..” he said. 

Mikasa shook her head in disagreement, her eyes welling up again. 

“Mikasa!” he said. 

“Sorry,” she muttered, wiping away her tears. “You just don’t know how nice that was to hear.” 

“Which part?” said Eren. 

“All of it,” said Mikasa, tugging on his sweatshirt and lifting her chin. 

“Works for me,” said Eren, ducking his head and meeting her lips, planting his hands on the wall on either side of her. She slid her hands around his ribs and up his back, clutching him closer as they kissed in the dim alcove, which maintenance no longer bothered furnishing with light bulbs. The holiday shoppers washed past in tides, the burble of their voices drowning out the Christmas carols being piped from the mall’s speakers and eroding the illusion of privacy Eren and Mikasa had wrapped themselves in.

“We should keep shopping,” Eren said, taking a regretful step back.

Mikasa glanced around to make sure no one had seen them. “You’re right,” she said, resting her hand on his chest for a moment, then straightening her sweater and securing her purse over her shoulder. “Oh, good. You remembered the candles,” she said, reaching for the bag. Eren snatched it up before she could take it. So she hadn’t noticed his sweet soccer-remnant move, which sucked, but it had been because she was so horny for his mouth, so… Yeah. Overall, he was going to class that one as a win, he decided.

Mother’s Day Deleted Scenes

Eren and Isabella

Eren was fed up with Isabella’s shit and also terrified that he was looking at his future. Was Adri going to grow up and judge him this hard? Would she also make fun of his hair and mock him for saying thanks when she told him his shoes were “fucking mint”? He was 32 years old with a job and a girlfriend and kids. He had better things to do than keep on top of youthful vernacular. 

He was in a foul mood by the time they finally settled on what to get for Yelena (a gift card), paid for it, and got in the minivan. 

“It looks like your Mom and Adri are already back at my house, Mase,” Eren said, checking his phone. “We missed out on our guy time. Sorry about that.”

“That’s okay!” chirped Mason. “I liked playing with all the testers.” He held up his arms, which were covered in blotches of lipstick and eyeshadow and scented with every single perfume in the store. “Do you think my mom will think I look like a rainbow dragon?” He pointed at the clusters of multicolored swatches. “See? Because they look like scales?”

Eren chuckled. “Maybe! But, Mason. We’re going to need to put you in the bath right after you show her. You smell like a million bucks but Adri doesn’t do good with perfume. It can trigger her asthma and then she’ll need an extra breathing treatment.”

“Oh!” said Mason. “Sorry!”

“It’s okay, buddy. Although, I’m thinking maybe we should stop by your house on the way home and get you a change of clothes,” Eren mused. 

“Ha! Who’s going to let you in if Mikasa is at your house?” Isabella sneered.

“I have a key,” said Eren, rolling his eyes.

Isabella began to sputter. Eren turned on the radio to drown her out, singing along with a pop song he had disdained when he was seventeen but that tickled his nostalgia today. Behind him, Mason had also started singing along. Eren grinned over his shoulder at him, then looked back at the road, dancing his shoulders along to the beat. 

“You are such a dweeb, Uncle Eren!” Isabella burst out. “I can’t believe Mikasa would go out with an old guy like you, who has, like, negative rizz!”

“I don’t know what that means,” said Eren. “But I’m younger than she is, so ha.” 

‘You don’t know what rizz is?” Isabella scoffed.

“No,” said Eren. “And I also don’t care.”

Isabella started sputtering again.

Eren started singing along with the radio again, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Wait, this isn’t the way to your house,” said Isabella.

Eren’s brow furrowed. “I know. I’m bringing you home.”

“What?” said Isabella.

“Where else would I take you?” said Eren.

Everyone at home after

“I thought Armin and Annie were here,” said Eren.

“They went in the backyard. Alexander isn’t allowed to watch TV,” said Mikasa.

“Oh,” said Eren. “That’s, um… Yeah, okay.”

“I think babies should be allowed to watch TV!” Mason piped up, scooting towards the door into the garage. Now that they were in the house, it occurred to Eren that they could have gone through the garage directly to spare themselves any unnecessary subterfuge. “If I ever have a baby, I'm going to let him watch whatever he wants unless it's too scary.”

“Good plan,” said Mikasa, fiddling with the remote control and glancing at the television. 

“Okay, Eren! I'm ready!” Mason said, hovering in the doorway to the garage. “Can you help me?”

“Yeah, one second, Mase,” said Eren, leaning over to kiss Mikasa on the forehead. “How was Adri?”

“She was so cute at the salon. She was trying to act very mature and glamorous the whole time but at the end the UV lamp scared her because she thought it was an oven.” 

“Aw,” Eren chuckled. 

“She also fell down but I think she wants to tell you about it herself, so I'm just letting you know she has some scrapes but she's fine,” Mikasa added. “How was Mason?”

“An absolute saint compared to Isabella,” said Eren. “He had a great time with all the makeup testers. Mase, show your mom your arm.”

Mason hid the lip balms behind his back and came forward so Mikasa could see the kaleidoscope of color swatches painted on his skin. 

Mikasa chuckled. “You remind me of a Gustav Klimt painting, for some reason.”

“Eren said I could wash it off at home,” he said. 

“Let me take a picture first,” said Mikasa, getting out her phone and repositioning so she could better angle, motioning for Mason to do a couple different poses. “There! Go ahead and wash it off whenever.”

“I have to do something in the garage first…” said Mason, all shifty-eyed.

“That’s fine,” said Mikasa, carefully not looking at the lip balms that had crept out from their hiding place. “I’m going to finish my show.”

“Where’s my mom, by the way?” Eren asked, going with Mason to the garage.

“She filled up on snacks and went to her room. I think she might be having a nap, too,” said Mikasa.

“I’m going to get the ribs started after I help Mason,” said Eren. “If you feel like keeping me company.”

Mikasa’s eyes lit up. “You’re making ribs?”

“Eren! It was supposed to be a surprise!” Mason complained.

“Ah, shoot!” said Eren. “Sorry!”

“That’s okay!” said Mason, his lips stretching into a smug smile. “I kept it a secret longer, so that means I win!”

“That’s true! Good job!” said Eren. 

“Do I get a cash prize?” Mason asked, bouncing on his toes.

Eren was reaching for his wallet to see if he had any small bills when Mikasa cut in and said, “No. Just bragging rights.”

“Aw, man,” said Mason.

Adri’s bedroom door cracked open. “Daddy?” she croaked, rubbing her eyes.

“Hi, peanut!” said Eren. “Let me see your nails.”

Adri dragged herself over and put out her hands and one foot, tottering in place as Eren inspected her mani-pedi. 

“Very pretty!” he said. 

“Look,” said Adri, showing him the scabs on her knees and the heels of her little hands, her face drooping with sorrow.

“Ouch!” said Eren. “Do you need a kiss to fix you up?”

“Missy did it,” Adri said, her lips pursing together into a serious line. “So I’m already all better.”

Eren’s eyebrows popped up then drifted back down as a slow, pleased smile spread over his face. “Then how about just a kiss because I’m happy you’re home?” he said.

“Otay!” said Adri, lifting her face so he could give her a smooch on the cheek. 

Lady’s Liaison

They must have been thirteen at the time, and Jean fourteen. Eren was in the awkward beginning stages of manhood. His upper lip now required shaving every morning and his voice cracked when he spoke with too much passion. Mikasa had been sent to the dressmaker to have her bodices altered to accommodate her own adolescent changes, and Eren had been sent along to help the footman carry the piles of gowns. 

Lady Kirschtein had indulgently allowed him to ride in the coach with them, and, as they always did during lessons, Eren and Mikasa had spent the ride with their heads together, whispering and snickering. Eren had been too preoccupied to notice the frown burgeoning across Lady Kirschtein’s face as she watched them together. 

When they had arrived in town and stopped the coach to disembark, Eren had leapt out and joined the footman on the walkway, his hands behind his back and his spine straight. Lady Kirschtein had exited first, taking the footman’s proffered hand delicately as she stepped down. Mikasa had come next. 

“Eren!” she had called, haughtily, reaching for him. He had grinned and raised his hand to her. Their difference in status had become a joke between them. It had seemed too ridiculous when they felt so alike. They’d made a game of it and she often played the snob, ordering him to do the most inane things, while he dramatically acquiesced, nearly falling over himself in his servitude. Now he raised his hand to her. “My Lady,” he said, gripping her fingers tightly when she rested them in his palm and helping her as she flounced down from the coach. He did not let go when she was safely on the ground, instead bowing obsequiously over her hand. “Are you able to walk on your own?” he had asked, his voice drawling and impassioned. “Or must I carry you?”

A sharp intake of breath drew his attention and he looked up to see Lady Kirschtein, her face twisted with shock at his impertinence. He had flinched back, releasing Mikasa’s hand. 

“I apologize,” he said, quickly. “I forgot myself.”

“Indeed,” said Lady Kirschtein, coldly, taking Mikasa by the arm and sweeping away with her. Eren’s stomach lurched and he glanced at the footman, who raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head. 

“You may take lessons together but you would do well to remember that Lady Ackerman is not your friend,” the footman whispered as they trailed the ladies, the dresses to be altered piled in their arms.

Eren swallowed and nodded. 

It was after that incident that Mikasa was withdrawn from tutoring and given over to a governess. In truth, she was far more classically educated than a woman should be, but Lord Kirschtein had been loathe to hire a governess when the tutor was perfectly capable of teaching all the children he had collected.

Neighbors AU

After Eren gives her the tree

 "So it's kind of like our trees will be a little family," he said. 

"Ooooh, yes," said Mikasa. "And we'll be baking their babies into pies."

Eren looked at her, horrified. "I didn't think of it that way!" he said. 

"Life is cruel," said Mikasa with a bright smile. "But if we don't eat them, the birds and squirrels will."

"Jesus, Mikasa," said Eren, putting his forehead in his hand with an admiring huff. "Every time I think I've got you figured out…"

"Sorry," said Mikasa, wincing. 

"That wasn't a complaint," said Eren, offering her his elbow. She took it and he escorted her to her car. 

Her eyes were sparkling when she got behind the wheel. 

When I thought they might ditch the party to go bowling

They decided to go bowling, so Mikasa headed back into town, grumbling about the waste of gas and Historia's obvious disregard for the environment, while Eren listened and admired her ability to twist a small, personal matter into a much greater issue on the global scale. By the time they arrived at the bowling alley, Mikasa had effectively pinned responsibility for all of global warming on Historia Reiss, because she drove an SUV and didn't turn off her lights when she went out and didn't drink fair trade coffee. 

"She should be in jail," Eren said, with great feeling, even though he had no idea where his coffee came from. He was going to start paying attention from now on, so he was within his rights to pass judgment. 

Mikasa sighed, parking her car. "We'll be friends again tomorrow," she said. 

"I guess that's good," said Eren, who was confident he had made an enemy for life. 

They got out of the car and went into the bowling alley which was, improbably, packed. "Is bowling cool again?" said Mikasa.

"Was there a point when it stopped being cool?" said Eren, heading towards the counter.

"There's a waiting list if you don't have a reservation," said the harried teenager. He pulled a clipboard from beneath the desk. "It's at least an hour wait, but probably more like two," he said. 

"Well, shoot," said Mikasa. "What would we do until then?" 

"There's a bar," offered the kid. He lowered his voice. "I'm allowed to walk through it after closing." He blinked at them both, waiting to see if they were impressed by his maturity.

They didn't even notice. "Would you like a drink, Eren?" Mikasa asked. 

"We're already here," he shrugged. "Might as well." 

"Can we put our names on the list then?" Mikasa asked the teenager, pointing at the clipboard. The kid handed it to her and she filled it out while Eren wandered over to peek through the door into the bar. 

"What happens if I don't hear my phone ring?" Mikasa asked as she jotted down her phone number on the sheet. "Should I note that we'll still be on the premises?" 

"We'll make an announcement on the overhead, too," the kid said. "Do you always get dressed up to go bowling?"

Mikasa looked down at her brand new cocktail dress. "Sometimes," she said.

"Oh," said the kid, taking back the clipboard just as Eren returned from his reconnaissance mission, a disgruntled expression on his face. 

"They don't have a pool table," he grumbled. 

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" said Mikasa.

"No, no," said Eren, grabbing her arm and looping it through his. "Here is fine."

"Thank you!" Mikasa called to the kid as Eren escorted her to the bar.

It was dim inside and smelled faintly of sweat and feet. "Do they serve food?" said Mikasa, thinking with regret of the top notch hors d'oeuvres Historia had no doubt catered for her party. There'd been this spinach and cheese puff pastry concoction Mikasa had tried last time and she'd been hoping she'd get to taste it again. And then there was the country club' signature gelato. She'd really wanted Eren to try the gelato. Perhaps she had been too hasty in storming out of there. She just didn't like Historia talking all that shit about Eren. He was a good guy and didn't deserve to have Historia drunkenly ragging on him all night. She sighed, looking around for a menu.

"Here," said Eren, coming right up behind her and reaching around her shoulder to tap on a sheet of paper taped to the bar top. It was covered in clip art and a list of deep fried foods. 

Mikasa scanned it, digging around in her purse for her wallet. "Do you want some mozzarella sticks?" she asked. "My treat."

"Huh?" he said, blinking. 

"Do you want to split some mozzarella sticks? Oh! And they have tater tots!" Mikasa did an excited wiggle as she located her wallet and withdrew it from her bag. Eren frowned, grabbing her wrist to stop her as she tried to take out her credit card. 

"Tonight's on me," he said. 

"But, Eren…" said Mikasa. 

“But what?” he said, locking gazes with her. Some of his long, dark hair had escaped from his bun and hung in strands around his face, framing his eyes as they bored into her. She nearly swooned. "I said I'd be your date tonight, didn't I?" he said.

"Well, yes," said Mikasa. "But that was for the party and now we're not at the party. So I wasn't sure if…"

"This is still a date," said Eren.

“Okay,” she squeaked, trying to tuck her hair behind her ear. It fell across her eyes. 

Eren plucked her wallet from her hand and tucked it back into her purse. "I'm paying," he said. 

“Okay,” said Mikasa, patting her cheeks, stomach fluttering. 

“Okay,” said Eren, pulling out his own wallet. “So don’t go running off with any other guys.”

“I won’t,” said Mikasa, her eyes wide. “I promise.”

Eren sucked in a breath and looked up at the ceiling. It had taken every ounce of self esteem he had to fuel that little interaction. He was so relieved it had worked. “Good,” he said. “What do you want to drink?”

“Just a diet Coke,” she said. “I’m driving.”

“Two Cokes and whatever else it was you said,” said Eren. He cleared his throat. “What did you want again?”

“Mozzarella sticks,” said Mikasa. 

“Wasn’t there another thing?” said Eren. 

“Tater tots,” said Mikasa, pressing her fingers to her lips and blushing. 

[thisreadswhatever]

To Keep Me Safe From You: Part Three

find my masterlist here

[description]: jax teller x fem!reader

[wordcount]: 1.7k+

[summary]: just when you think it couldn’t get worse, SAMCRO decides it’s time for another vote.

[cw]: 18+, female reader (y/n), swearing, mentions of murder throughout, angst, a lil bit of fluff, knives, possible grammar/spelling errors

[authors note]: so this part takes place immediately after part two. this took some time for me to finish but we’re here! life has been really strange for me lately but writing this has really helped me get some of my inspiration back. i’m not 100% sure as to whether this should get another part or two.. if anyone has any ideas where it could go i’m totally interested in suggestions! hope you enjoy :)

“Chapel? Whose getting married?”

Jax chuckled at you as he made his way through the hall. He slumped himself along the edge of the bed, your towel still draped across his lower half. His arms rested on his knees as he ran his hands through his hair, sighing out loud. “Nobody’s getting married.”

You sat next to him, crossing your legs on the bed. “You really, really, need to tell me what the hell is going on, Jax. You owe me an explanation at this point. This whole thing is just insane.”

“‘Chapel’s just our word for ‘vote’, I guess.”

You hadn’t meant to discuss that further, but there was a wave of relief that set over you regardless. At least now you knew there would be no impromptu wedding on the horizon.

“So Chapel means to vote. Okay.. so what is there to vote over? You said you won’t hurt me.”

He lifted his head to meet your eyes, his voice was soft, almost exasperated. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t really my decision to make.”

“And that means..”

“It means I went against the club.”

Waves of fear crashed into you as reality hit like a ton of bricks. Your mind replayed over the events of the last several hours. Despite it feeling like a lifetime ago, Jax had tied you to your chair to do nothing more than kill you, and now you had no choice but to trust him to save your life.

“So at Chapel.. They’ll vote if I still have to die?” You shook your head as the words left your mouth, tears welling in pools under your eyelids. “Jax I didn’t hear anything, I wasn’t lying when I told you-”. Jax pulled you into his chest before you could finish, hugging you tight. “I know, I know. I told you, nobody is going to hurt you. But they already decided, and I went against the club's decision. Tomorrow there won’t be another vote on you, that’s done. And once they realise I didn’t get the job done..”

Oh. Another realisation hit, the bricks piling onto what was left of any hope you had. This wasn’t just about you anymore. “They have to vote on you.” Your voice was low as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. You dried your tears with your wrists, pulling yourself up to look at his face. “You have to tell them I never heard anything, you have to make them understand.”

Jax was looking down on you as you laid against his chest. He tried to reassure you with a smile, but he didn’t say another word. He hugged you tight, and for a moment it felt like you’d known him for eternity. Before you could get used to the feeling, his arms loosened around you and he rose from the edge of the bed, walking towards the bathroom. “Come shower with me.”

———

“You read a lot of books, huh.” Jax wasn’t asking a question, because he already knew the answer after scouring the house all night while you were his hostage.

“Well- most of my books are back home, but yeah, I do.”

Jax seemed so nonchalant about everything. He casually cracked three eggs from the fridge into the pan on the stove while he spoke. “And where’s home?”

Your eyes squinted at him over the kitchen island. “I told you last night.”

Jax smiled. “Washington, right?” You watched as he flipped the eggs, now sticking a little too much to the hot pan in front of him.

You avoided answering. The sudden interest confused you and you pondered over whether he’d changed his mind, if he wanted to know your hometown to find your family or chase you down if you ran. You snapped yourself out of the thought, suppressing your fear. “Do you read?”

He turned from the eggs to meet your eyes, pausing for a moment before subtly shaking his head. “I write.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to hide your shock. The murdering biker stranger writes. “That’s interesting. What do you write?”

He shrugged, “Just journals and stuff.”

“I would’ve never guessed that about you.”

Jax leant over the island, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of you on the countertop. “Bet you never guessed I was a chef either.”

You grinned politely and thanked him, poking at the dry eggs with your fork. “There’s definitely a lot we don’t know about each other.” Jax tucked into the remaining eggs over the stove, scraping at the hot pan.

Suddenly you were giggling, and then you were laughing so hard you almost choked. It was unthinkable how fucking bizarre this entire situation was. “What’s funny?” Jax was looking at you across the kitchen island, completely bewildered by your sudden amusement.

You had to catch your breath before explaining, “Last night you had taped me to a chair with every intention to end my life, and this morning you're cooking me eggs. I think I’ve lost my mind.”

Jax chuckled with you, “I’m a man of many talents, darlin’. Though I can admit that I’m still shocked you wanted me to stay.”

You pulled yourself together before standing from the bar stool at the island, heading back down the hall toward the bedroom, “I’m going to get ready for work, try not to take anymore hostages while I’m gone.”

____

The rays from the California sun had burned through the windshield of the car all morning, turning it into a makeshift oven. Your thighs hit the fiery leather of the passenger seat as you got in, the heat radiating into you. It was almost impossible for you to sit still through the warmth of it. The stench of stale cigarette smoke had intensified throughout the car, and the smell brought you right back to the events of last night. Driving home with your stranger, completely oblivious to the gang’s death sentence, and everything else that would follow. The sound of the engine roaring to life abruptly disturbed your replay of events as Jax pulled out of the driveway.

“You can make a left at the end of the road. It’s faster.” He nodded.

Jax didn’t speak as he drove, it seemed as if he was totally preoccupied by his own thoughts. You wished your mind would be as silent.

You were overwhelmed from trying to understand, too many questions and uncertainties racing in your head. What was going to happen now? If Jax couldn’t stop the club, would they kill him for going against their decision? If Jax was dead, then they knew you were still breathing, and they’d come after you next. You’d have to leave town. How could you save yourself now?

Maybe you could escape before the impending doom you had been sentenced to. Or maybe they’d kill you before you got the chance.

“I have a question.”

Jax glanced your direction, but you couldn’t tell if he was even looking at you through his dark sunglasses. “What exactly is it they think I heard?”

Jax peered over his sunglasses, and you could tell he was looking at you as he cracked a smile. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

You rolled your eyes, “you probably should’ve while you had the chance.”

Jax scoffed. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

His arrogance was no longer charming, instead now all it did was fill you with rage. “Can you blame me for not trusting some stranger who startled me into losing my car keys in the pitch black after work? Who held me at knifepoint, taped me to my armchair and held me hostage for hours? The same stranger who decided it was a better idea to spare my life and fuck me on my kitchen counter? I can’t be crazy for questioning whether I’m going to make it out of this alive. I could at least know what it is they want me dead for!”

Jax chuckled, he was too calm for your liking. “You did ask me to stay darlin’, that was all consensual.”

“Did I consent to being the target of your murder plot?”

Jax gritted his teeth, his playfulness was gone. “Look, I know you don’t really know me and it’s probably better if you didn’t. But I am sorry, I’m sorry for all of it- well, most of it-“ for a moment it seemed like he was going to smile, and then it was gone. “This is some serious shit I’m piled in.” He shook his head contemplating. “But I’m not going to let them kill you because of a dumb misunderstanding. And even if you heard everything, we don’t kill women.”

“You sure do sound like a group of martyrs.”

“I know what I am, y/n. Last night I told you I was a normal guy. I’m not. I’m not a normal guy, I’m not a good guy, and I’m definitely no damn martyr.”

Your ears rang with every word. You knew you should’ve ran for the hills the second he’d cut the tape from your wrists.

Jax pulled the car into the diner, parking alongside your abandoned Honda.

“I guess this means I have to find another locksmith. I’ll probably get my brakes cut if I go to Charmings finest mechanics now.”

Jax laughed, “cutting breaks isn’t really our style, babe.” He reached down into the well of the car door as he spoke, pulling out your lost keys, the metal dangling between his fingers.

Your eyes narrowed at him as you snatched the keys from his grasp.

Jax turned to the steering wheel, looking out of the window as he spoke. “Told ya, not a good guy.”

None of this made any sense. This man you barely knew, that needed you dead, had somehow sent a crushing pain through your chest. Maybe it was the confirmation that this had been his goal the entire time, this wasn’t a game, it wasn’t a joke. Jax Teller had to kill you, and for some reason, you weren’t dead yet.

You wanted to scream at him, tell him what a piece of shit he was. You wanted to yell and tell him how much you hated him and this dumb ass biker gang. You wanted to tell him last night was the worst and best night of your life. But the words wouldn’t form. Instead, you shoved your weight into the passenger door before quickly jumping out and furiously slamming it behind you. Childish but he got your point. Tires screeched as he sped off from the diner, leaving you stood there, frozen, tears streaming down your face.

You knew that was probably the last time you’d ever see Jax Teller again.

———

find my masterlist here

[its-alittleobsessed]

Currently rewatching season 2. This show is so fucking good. I joke about hating it, but it's soo. It's just. The supernatural of it all, man.

Theres this scene in ep 19, the prison episode, where Dean's talking to their lawyer, this business woman who's there to just do her job and get them a better deal than a death sentence.

She's a good lawyer, so she starts looking up their past, the routes they've taken and the footprints they've left behind, and every single witness ends up saying the same thing, Those boys saved me. Can't tell you from what, but I owe them. The statements lead her to a still, she starts questioning the faults and explanations, makes her feel like there's more to each story than she's willing to know.

And at one point Dean asks her for a favor. And he says, If you're as smart a PD as I think you are, then you can tell with just one look whether or not your clients are guilty, okay, just like that. So I want you to look at me, really look, and you tell me – am I guilty?

And Mara, this nobody lawyer who knows about Sam and Dean through the news, has seen the files on murders and grave robbing and arson and scamming, looks at Dean in this eyes and decides that all evidence--piles and piles of FBI record keeping--is suddenly bullshit. Because some other nobody across the state said, They saved me and, more than that, Dean Winchester has a look in his eyes she's never seen before.

She's never really belived in heroes--never really thought there could ever be someone who cared about this dirt ball of a planet enough to fight for it, but here, sitting between glass, sorrounded by guards, and communicating through cheap county jail telephones, she thinks she might've been wrong.

Henriksen said this guy's a monster, but Mara's worked with monsters before and they've never looked at her like this. Like they've got a purpose bigger than her, a goal, a heavy duty to some path she can't quite see. There's something about him--something bigger and other that she's not sure how to go against. Not sure if she wants to.

She looks at him and the world seems to, insanely, blur at the edges around him. He looks--good. As in, actual, care for people, good. The type of good that edges on theoretical altruism. It's insane.

And maybe that's why when Sam and Dean escape the prison, and Henriksen demands, Where are they? She just lies. Easy. Not knowing why she should, or where they're going, or if they'll ever see each other again. She lies and doesn't even feel bad about it because somehow she knows, trusts, that it's the right thing to do.

Like I know it's for the narrative okay, I know it's just for the plot to move forward, but the idea that Sam and Dean might seem just as supernatural as the monsters they haunt is something so juicy to me.

[svltzmans]

Hello can I request anything with hope where she's reader's secret admirer (also friends with her and lizzie) but when they're around reader they act like they don't know who the admirer is, like acting all clueless and intrigued lol! Thank you <3

i can see you (h.m.)

a/n: hi anon!! i LOVE this request it's such a cute idea!! i'm sick rn so i'm happy i get to write this while i'm under the weather to make me feel better :) i'm also listening to a ton of taylor swift of course and this story kinda reminded me of i can see you!!! i hope you like it and thanks again for requesting <3

warnings: none just fluffy and gay <3

y/n had never been more confused.

staring intently at the note she had found in her bag, she tried to think of any reasonable explanation.

were the werewolves playing a cruel prank or something? maybe someone put it in the wrong bag?

what she did know, however, was that it was a love note. written in cursive, neat, unfamiliar handwriting.

"you look so beautiful today," it begins. whoever this individual was, they had already made y/n turn a deep shade of red.

folding up the note and stowing it in her jeans' back pocket, she ventured to her next class, where she continued to ponder who the note could be from.

y/n's walk to her room after class quickly led her to make a pit stop at lizzie's.

upon hearing the knock on her door, lizzie sprung up from her desk to open it.

"if it isn't y/n y/l/n, looking cute as ever. come in!"

plopping down on lizzie's bed, y/n pulls the note out of her pocket.

"a love note? for me? i didn't know you felt this way, y/n," lizzie laughs, opening the letter.

"liz! this is serious! i have no idea who this could have been from."

"where did you even find it?"

"in my bag."

"huh. what class?"

"introductory spells."

"how many people are in that class?"

"it's a lecture hall liz... a lot of people."

"shit. that doesn't help at all. do you have any ideas?"

"none at all. nobody has been showing any kind of obvious interest in me."

"it's girly handwriting."

"i hope so. if it was a man it would just be creepy."

they both chuckle at that before texting hope.

"she'll probably know how to help us," lizzie insists.

mere minutes later, there's another knock at the door.

"hope andrea mikaelson in my room, to what do i owe the pleasure?" lizzie quips.

"your text, saltzman." hope responds with a sarcastic edge in her voice.

"okay whatever, we have a y/n crisis happening and your attitude is not helping."

"crisis is kind of a strong word," y/n adds, earning a glare from lizzie.

"y/n! it's a big deal! your first secret admirer!"

"secret admirer?" hope interrupts, a quizzical expression on her face.

"miss y/n y/l/n got a love note in her bag from an anonymous person."

"what? let me see!" hope perks up excitedly. "woah, y/n, this person really likes you."

"i know! and it's killing me! i can't figure out who wrote it. it could be anyone in introductory spells with me."

"i'm in that class with you." hope pauses, before adding "i can help you figure it out!"

"you'd do that for me?"

"of course. i'd do anything for you, y/n... we're friends, aren't we?"

y/n's heart stings a bit hearing hope call her a friend, but she immediately lights up again remembering the first part of hope's sentence.

"in that case, mikaelson, let's do this."

"uh, hellooo. guys, did you forget i'm in that class too?" lizzie adds, clearly feeling left out of the conversation.

the next day, lizzie and hope run into each other in the hallway. quickly checking to make sure y/n isn't in earshot, lizzie pulls hope aside.

"are you gonna tell her it's you?"

"i kinda want to lead her in the right direction and let her figure it out herself."

"hope! you've already hinted at it so many times! you gotta just tell her."

"i'll think about it."

y/n walks up to the blonde and brunette, smiling.

"are we gonna figure out this secret admirer or what?"

the trio walk into the massive classroom, finding three seats in the back row that would allow them to easily scan the room.

"this is going to be impossible. where do we even start?" y/n asks, already exasperated.

"well, we can rule out everyone that's already in a relationship. at least i hope we can," lizzie responds.

"that's like, at least half the people in here," hope adds.

"any ideas, y/n?" lizzie questions.

"not yet. they gotta be right in front of me, i'm just not seeing it."

hope and lizzie both have to stifle their reactions to that comment, trying hard not to confirm that y/n is right.

when class begins, hope pulls out her notebook to document the lecture. she sneaks a glance at y/n, who seems to be deep in thought.

"i love when you get super focused on something. you look so cute," hope writes, quickly abandoning her class notes.

"i dream about you looking at me that way."

before y/n can notice, hope folds the piece of paper and slips it into her bag.

"i can't believe i didn't notice! they were right next to me at one point and i didn't see them put it in my bag!" y/n sighs, ranting to lizzie.

"i didn't notice it either, professor was extra immersive today," lizzie responds, trying to hide her amusement at y/n's exasperation.

"next class i'm gonna pay more attention to my bag. maybe i'll be able to catch them in the act."

"whatever you say, y/l/n. have you ever thought that maybe you're looking too far into it?"

"what do you mean?"

"nothing. just thinking out loud." lizzie realizes she might have said too much. y/n dismisses the conversation and moves onto a new topic, although still wondering what the blonde meant.

the next introductory spells class was quite intense for y/n, who was carefully trying to watch the lecture while simultaneously keeping an eye on her bag.

eventually, her attention lands on hope, delicately taking notes.

glancing down at hope's paper in hopes of seeing some notes to copy, y/n can't help but notice hope's handwriting.

it's beautiful. undeniably feminine, swoopy...

holy shit.

y/n immediately calls an "emergency meeting" between her, hope and lizzie after class. hope and lizzie shuffle to her room close behind her.

"i think i might have figured out who the admirer is."

"it's about time, y/l/n," lizzie says, anticipating y/n's elaboation.

"it has to be josie."

"what?" hope and lizzie say in unison, staring at each other in disbelief.

"y/n... it's not josie," hope nervously mutters.

"what? how do you know?"

"because it's me. y/n my feelings for you have gotten so strong that i couldn't help but write them down. i just like you so much i had to express it somehow. i was hoping you would realize eventually but i just want you to know."

"hope, i know. i noticed your handwriting matched in class today. i just wanted to hear it from you. i have always felt the same."

"finally!" lizzie sighs in relief, once again interrupting the tender moment between the two women in front of her.

"wait... you knew it was hope?" y/n cracks a smile.

"maybe..."

[softle0]

"People like you is why simmers stop doing wcif’s" LMAO? I dont even know you!!!! People like YOU are why new simblrs are fearful of sharing their content and creating connections on here. You are mean. Only your mutuals are defending you on main. Anyway, since you're too good for civility, I'll stoop to your level. Your CC isn't nearly good enough to be acting rude like Peacemaker or Anadius. You SHOULD Turn off anon questions for your own sanity. Have a great night Laura.

Okay??? 🤣 You say you don’t know me and you’re assuming I’m always rude to everyone “like peacemaker or anadius” LMAOO it clearly shows you’re only harassing me because I’m not a big creator so apparently I don’t have the right to defend myself from rude people who don’t respect my time or think I owe them an explanation of my actions??? LOOL

I’m a small creator myself and I’m sharing stuff I do for myself because I want people who like my content to also have my stuff. If is not good enough nobody is obligated to download it 😂😂 actually people LIKE YOU are the ones pushing back small creators to stop sharing their stuff because they can read how people are sending asks about how my stuff is not good enough or shit 🤣 honestly fuck off, please go and get a life instead of hiding yourself while harassing people who don’t do whatever you want you fucking weirdo

[devilsmoth]

Dead Rising (TFW x reader, Lucifer x reader?????)

Authors Note: I know this isn't the best thing I've ever written, but this is more just writing practice for me :] trying to get back into the swing of writing. Either way, I hope you enjoy it ! If not then I'm sorry ;w;

Warnings: Nothing, really. Language?

Pairing: I didn't write one in mind, though the way I ended up writing Lucifer I suppose it could be Lucifer x y/n if I make a sequel to this?

Prompt: "I thought you were dead!" / "Wow! The miracle of life!", "Just wishful thinking."

Words: 1,741

It was....weird. Death was weird, but then again it'd also be weird if it wasn't weird? Some sort of weird paradox. A weirdadox, if you will.

One moment, you were there, ready to fight alongside team Free Will, and then next you were just....gone? What was weird was that there wasn't even any pain, or if there was you certainly don't remember it. You've flirted with the concept of death many times before, all of them filled with unbearable pain and slight panic, but you've never actually died.

You weren't sure what happened, but there was no reaper to meet you, nobody to guide you to the other side. Dean and Sam were too busy fighting some stupid group of angels to notice you had died so abruptly. Or, at least you think you died? Question mark?

Your brows furrowed as you took a look at your surroundings, only to see Lucifer standing there with a smug smile on his face, and wiggling his fingers at you in some strange form of a wave. He was quiet, for now at least, instead pointing to something on the ground. Confusion was clear on your face as you followed where he was pointing, only to see your body on the ground.

You looked over yourself, searching for any signs of a wound, anything that would've attributed to your cause of death, but there was....nothing. No blood, no wounds, no gore, nothing. You looked back to Lucifer with a strange gaze, expecting him to explain just what the fuck is going on.

"Now," He begins, hands in front of him, "I bet you're wondering, 'Oh no, what happened, what am I, mehmehmeh,'" Lucifer takes on a high pitched, mocking tone, hands moving side to side as he speaks, "All good questions."

There was a long, silent pause, with him just staring at you.

"Oh, you want me to answer them." Lucifer announces in a bored tone.

"I think that would be the polite thing to do, yeah," You nod in agreement, "Especially since you were the one that killed me, I feel like I'm owed some kind of explanation."

"Huh?" He questions, but whether it's genuine confusion or he's exaggerating himself to mock you, you've no idea, "Dead? Do you see any reapers, y/n?" He asks, arms out as he turns around, as if he was looking for them himself, "You're funny, or maybe just stupid...Either way, no you're not dead."

"Dean!" You hear Sam call, "DEAN GET OVER HERE, NOW!"

Lucifer smiles when he hears the panic in Sam's voice. You turn to look at Sam, only to see him trying to shake you awake, calling your name. Dean comes running over, and checks you for a wound of any kind, and quickly becomes frustrated when he can't find one. Sam and Dean argue with one another for a good minute before they both finally agree on just getting you back to the car and heading back to the bunker as fast as humanly possible.

"Just, let's just get 'em in the car, alright?!" Dean commands, "Did you see what happened?"

"No, no, I-" Sam's words falter when he sees the angry and disappointed look on Dean's face, but he picks your body up easily, "I was fighting off Heaven's bodyguards Dean, just like you were!"

"I told you to keep an eye on 'em! You were the one that wanted them to come!" Dean argues as he opens the door for Sam to put you in the backseat, "I told you they should stay back at the bunker and work on researching, but nooooo-"

"Dean, they're obviously not dead!" Sam argues back in frustration, "So how about we wait to blame me for it, okay?"

Dean just grumbles as he gets into the car. The sight would've made you smile, if you weren't incorporeally separated from your own body, with still no explanation as the what the fuck happened, or what was even going on. Your gaze is back on Lucifer, this time with less confusion and more anger. Were you just here for his fucking amusement, or was he gonna get to talking? You glare at him, already plotting a way to kill him, and as if reading your thoughts, he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, look," Lucifer begins, "I'll return you to your body, just as soon as I can get what I want."

"Oh yeah?" You question, "And what's that? Jack? A new haircut? Maybe a shower-"

"You wound me," He puts a hand over his heart in faux offense, "Don't worry your pretty head about it, alright?"

"So, what?" You question, crossing your arms, "You're just going to leave my body to rot until who fucking knows how long, just to have some leverage? You expect the maggots to avoid my decaying body just because I asked nicely?"

Lucifer just stares at you for a moment, and you swear you see a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. He sighs out heavily, whining in annoyance before he rolls his eyes and looks back to you.

"Fine," He snaps his fingers, and you feel a part of you...spirit? lurch, "There. Happy?"

"..." You look around, wondering what the Hell he did, before looking back at him like he was fucking insane, "What the hell was that?"

"I'll explain on the way, I'm not staying here until the sun rises just chatting with you," He ushers you forward, and you comply, mostly because what else were you gonna do? "Come on, there we go."

He raises his hand to snap his fingers a bit, before a thought crosses his mind, and he squints before looking down at you.

"Uh, hold your breath," Lucifer warns, "Otherwise you'll find out what astral projected spirit-vomit looks like."

You shoot him another crazed look before listening to him, and just as you start to wonder what the hell he was talking about, he snaps his fingers and suddenly you're teleported to his throne room. Ah, that makes sense now, Cas would tell you something similar. You also recall Dean mentioning something about angelic teleportation and constipation as a side effect.

Back at the bunker, Sam and Dean had managed to get you--or, rather, your body--back inside. Sam had set you on a couch nearby so that they could keep an eye on you while they tried to research what was going on with you. It just...didn't make sense. You had a pulse, a weak one, but a pulse nevertheless. There was no wounds, no blood no signs of some kind of spell, no hex bags, nothing. Not even a sign of a struggle. So what gives?

A couple hours had passed in mostly silence, occasionally broken up by one of the brothers chiming in with an idea, and the other shooting it down because you didn't have any of the symptoms. Poor Jack was also confused, but he was still trying his best to help Sam and Dean come up with an answer within the many books of the bunker.

Suddenly, without any hint or warning, you had sat up from the couch. The boys didn't notice you at first, until you had passed behind Sam, and Dean's hunter instincts kicked in. He looked up, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. He kicks his brother to get his attention, and Sam looks up in confusion, only to see what he was looking at and grow even more confused.

"Uh," Sam begins as he grabs your arm to stop you, "Woah, woah, slow down,"

"Yeah," Dean chimes in as you turn around with a raised brow, "What the hell happened to you?"

You simply shrug, "I'm not a fucking oracle, I don't know."

The response nearly gives them whiplash, you never talked like that. Dean's first idea was that you were possessed, and Sam puts a hand out to stop Dean moving to get his gun.

"Okay, okay," He speaks, thinking you're angry, "Do you remember anything?"

"I remember this place sucks," You shrug again, your tone flat and emotionless, "And that there's leftovers in the fridge I'd kill for right now."

"Oookay," Sam speaks cautiously, and the familiar sound of wings can be heard before a familiar presence enters the room, "So, you're okay?"

"I dunno, I guess?" You shrug again, "I could go for some cake right now."

"Okay, what the hell?" Dean chimes in again, "I thought you were dead!"

"Just wishful thinking."

"I feel I have missed something." Castiel announces a bit awkwardly.

"Y/N was dead, but now they're not." Jack explains with a smile.

"Wow! The miracle of life!" You roll your eyes and yank your arm out of Sam's grip, "I'm going to go make me something to eat, since the Brady Bunch is all caught up."

With that, you had left the room, and Castiel watched silently as you left. His eyes squinted for a moment, analyzing you before you disappeared into the kitchen. This was not good news. You were soulless, and given that Sam, Dean, and Jack were all confused as to what happened to you in the first place, Castiel is doubtful that they know who did it to you. The good news is that there's not a whole lot of candidates that could've done it.

A lot of people are dead.

Not that dead is a good thing, but it is in this instance. The bad news, is that really, it's just the one person he's suspicious of, and if it is that person, then there's no way they're returning your soul without something in return. He dreads to think of what Lucifer could want in exchange for your very soul. Oh boy.

"I know what is wrong," Castiel announces as he comes out of his thoughts, realizing Sam and Dean were arguing with each other again.

They both look to the angel, who quietly looks back at them.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Alright, you gonna tell us, sparky?" He shoots Castiel a look, who nods.

"Yes." Castiel takes in a breath, "Y/N is soulless, and given our short pool of candidates to choose from these days, I suspect it to be Lucifer's doing."

Sam and Dean were both quiet for a moment, looking to each other like they were having a silent conversation.

"You can do that?" Jack asks, and Castiel hesitates.

"Your father can, yes."

[bisexualfagdyke]

i fear the point went over your head. never said i can't "accept" it, i just hate double standards and miscommunication and found it ironic. im literally being stalked by a person who can't accept a block, i think i would know out of all people that it's ok to block people. but it's the irony that got me, so i'm not sure why you're so upset. it really isn't that serious at all

Where even is the irony though . "I wish I could ask ppl why they softblocked me sometimes" (while also stating in the post I know nobody owes me an explanation) . Idk where this implies I don't think it's okay to softblock ppl nor do I understand how it's "ironic" for me to softblock ppl after saying that 🤔 ?! I'm also not upset, I was just responding to ur ask. You're the one who sent an ask being passive aggressive over the fact I softblocked you, which is kinda odd, idk why ur even looking at my blog if I softblocked you 😭 !

[bluelolblue]

❦ Nobody Knows What I See ❦

"𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮... 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞."

Sephtis, I wrote this for you in case I don't make it back by Christmas evening. This isn't even half of what I want to tell you, but… I owe you some explanation.

I am having a situation with my real family. A lot has happened, things that I'm not proud of, and I don't know how to even say it. It wasn't right towards you. I am a wolf, a carnivore, a monster in some eyes, but I am not like my biological family. Yet again, I did what I did, and I'll never forgive myself for that. It triggered something in me, I was acting odd lately, I know, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Sephtis. I had to distance myself a little to keep you safe.

No matter anything, there was only you for me. There always was only you. I know we agreed that it was okay to sleep with someone else but… it hurt me. I don't want to do that anymore, so I stopped… I want only you, Sephtis. Only you because I only love you.

You are my best friend, my light, my strength, my love, my everything. There was only you and always will be only you in my heart. Nobody knows what I see, how I see you. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for loving you, a deer, but you're so much more to me.

I love you, Sephtis. So much that I am ready to do whatever it takes to protect you. I will make things right. For you, I'll do anything.

Yours always,

𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒸

-

Sephtis’ hand shaked as he held the letter, and he realized it after he sniffled. Something burned in his eyes, it hurt, it stung, it was warm.

He looked in the mirror, meeting his own gaze and seeing the unspoken pain, the ache of his soul glistening from his eyes and cheeks.

The liquid sorrow.

Tears that hurt so much, but the most painful places right now were his heart and soul. Something inside him broke, something wanted to scream at him, to go look for his lover, for his wolf.

A deer to look for a wolf. A wolf whose bite never drew blood, whose claws were never meant to be sharp for him, whose sharp eyes never looked at him as prey.

There was only love in those eyes.

It made sense now. How was Sephtis so blind? How could he hurt him like that?

You selfish and reckless deer, you stabbed this wolf in the heart with your own antlers, and you didn't even know.

The realization made his tears flow uncontrollably, no matter how much he tried to wipe them off, they continued and they even stained the letter.

He needed some time to collect himself. This day didn't go as planned, not for him, not for everyone else.

Sephtis blinked the forming fresh tears away and looked over a gift he wanted to give to Marc. A little box with something precious, something meaningful for them both.

For Marc.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞.”

Harvey

Nobody knows what I see

Nobody knows l'm waiting

Waiting for you to call

Harvey

Nobody knows what I see

Everyone thinks I'm crazy

Crazy for you, oh boy

Line divider

[futureslaps]

The Captive - Chapter 5

Chapter 4 Chapter 6

Bit of a shorter chapter today. This is mostly just setting up some much bigger stuff. 

Hope you enjoy 💙

Jake watched Kiri as she ate breakfast in silence. She had made a point of ignoring him and Neytiri since they had woken up. Jake didn’t blame her, the argument from last night was still fresh in his mind.

He felt conflicted. If he tried to talk to her, he might make things worse. But he owed her an explanation for what had happened yesterday.

“Kiri?”

She ignored him.

Jake got up and moved closer. He sat next to her and tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she brushed it off.

“Kiri, look. I owe you an explanation for last night. I’m just asking for you to hear me out.”

Kiri, again, said nothing. Jake took a deep breath and continued.

“We all need time to heal right now, and Spider needs it most of all. Right now, the best thing we can do for him is give him space.”

Kiri remained silent.

“He needs time to process whatever happened when he was with the RDA. We’ll talk with him about it when he’s ready.”

Now Kiri spoke.

“What part of giving Spider ‘space’ means letting him sleep outside?”

Jake sighed.

“I know it seems mean, but I wasn’t lying when I said Spider told me himself, he wanted to. We don’t know what he’s feeling right now, and we need to respect his wishes if he wants to be left alone.”

Kiri’s face became frustrated.

“You really think that’s why he wanted to sleep outside? He wants to be alone?”. Her tone was hard.

“You think that’s the reason he’s clearly avoiding us?”

Jake’s breath hitched at the sudden aggression. Before he could respond, Kiri stood up and left the Marui.

Jake groaned and let his head rest in his hand. He’d fucked it up. Maybe it was foolish, trying to explain himself to Kiri. He knew she cared about Spider, maybe more than anyone else. She wanted to be close to him right now. She’d understand in time that Spider needs space, Jake hoped.

Whatever the Quaritch and the RDA had done to him, it couldn’t have been good. Spider seemed to be doing okay, but Jake didn’t want to push him. Spider was a tough kid, Jake knew he’d be alright, he just needed space and time.

You think that’s the reason he’s clearly avoiding us?

Kiri’s final sentence echoed in Jake’s mind. He turned his head to look at Neytiri, still asleep next to him.

He’d deal with that some other time. Emotions were too raw. Things were too recent. It just wasn’t the time. He just had too much to do right now. Jake got up, quickly putting the battle on the ship at the back of his mind.

Spider was alright for now; Jake would talk to him about everything soon. Things were okay.

(…)

The sun was already high in the sky when Spider opened his eyes.

Great, he’d overslept.

He hadn’t slept well last night, but then again, it wasn’t like he had anything to miss. He slowly made his way to the cookfire where breakfast was served. By this time, the little food left was cold, but he didn’t mind. As he ate his breakfast lunch, he thought for a moment about what to do. He had no job, nobody to talk to, nowhere he had to go. He was just … here.

He eventually settled on walking across the complex network of bridges connecting the Metkayina village. By now most of the residents had left to hunt, or gather resources, and those left were in the village were busy doing their jobs. The area of Awa’atlu he was in was practically deserted. After a while, he took a moment to sit down.

It was almost silent, save for the breeze, and the gentle lapping of the waves. Spider looked out to the sea, spotting several Metkayina practicing in the distance. However, dark clouds hung on the horizon.

A storm, great.

Something else to look forward to tonight. As if it wasn’t already bad enough.

He turned his gaze to look along the edge of the village. He could see Quaritch’s prison in the distance.

He almost smiled at the sight. At least Quaritch had a roof over his head.

It occurred to him that he hadn’t been close the hut once since he’d been at Awa’atlu. In fact, he’d made an effort to avoid it. As if he could forget his time with Quaritch if he did.

Spider almost wanted it to happen. He was consumed by guilt every time he wished the man was with him, or whenever he caught himself looking back on one of their happier memories with fondness.

It felt wrong having those memories. All his life he’d heard of how heartless and cruel Quaritch was. All the pain he’d caused. The Na’vi called him the demon for a reason.

Spider almost wanted to feel the same way, to know with certainty that the Sullys were kind and that Quaritch was evil. At one time, he would have believed it with all his heart, but now, he didn’t know what to think.

Should he be glad Quaritch was behind bars, his judgement approaching? Quaritch had done some evil things, both in this life, and especially in his previous.

But Quaritch had saved him from the RDA’s machine.

Quaritch gave himself up to save him from Neytiri.

Last night, it had been Quaritch he wanted next to him as he slept in the cold.

As much as he wanted to, Spider couldn’t bring himself to hate the man, despite it all. He couldn’t make himself hate the person who’d saved him twice.  

As he continued to stare at the hut, he started to make up his mind.

He had to try to see Quaritch, just one more time.

He would do it tonight.

It’s happening!

Sorry if this chapter isn't quite as enticing as the others, I needed to transition everything into what I have planned for the rest of the fic. 😕

But rest assured, next chapter will be out very soon!

Taglist: @buzzing-honeybee @yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation

[capricorndevil15]

Our Wonderland Themesongs Masterpost or Whatever

Out of excitement for the Our Wonderland finale (which is coming out next month!), I've written an incredibly long post sharing one song I associate with each of the main 4 characters (and also Cecil is there), as well as songs for my favorite ships. Come imagine AMVs with me, under the cut!~

To start off, a song that I associate broadly with the plot of OW is Leopard by Jack Stauber. For most of the other songs, I'll pick out certain lyrics to highlight/site my sources lol, but with this one I'd prefer not to because all of the lyrics are The Lyrics. Every time we change, it's a game, okay? Cool.

Characters

🥩Iggy: Devil Town- Bright Eyes (x)

All my friends were vampires Didn't know they were vampires Turns out I was a vampire myself

🚬Genzou: Getchoo- Weezer (x)

I can't believe What you've done to me What I did to them You've done to me

🍷Orlam: I made an entire Orlam playlist, but don't worry. I always have more. Today I'm assigning him,

Shake The Disease- Depeche Mode (x)

You know how hard it is for me to shake the disease That takes hold of my tongue in situations like these Understand me

✂️Gidget: Touch Up- Mother Mother (x)

I forget that I can remember when I was young climbing up fences Scraping my knees, dirt on my cheeks Not one makeover queen bone in me

🔪Cecil: Genie In A Bottle- Billy Cobb (x)

I have no tangible explanation for this one. You'll either get it or you won't and that's okay. 👍🏻

No songs for Bucks or Hunar yet because I need to know more about them first. I've heard the finale is pretty Bucks-centric, so I can't wait 2 play!

My fave ships

💙💚 Iggy/Genzou: Run-Around- Blues Traveler (x)

But I want more than a touch, I want you to reach me And show me all the things no one else can see So what you feel becomes mine as well And soon if we're lucky we'd be unable to tell What's yours and mine, the fishing's fine And it doesn't have to rhyme, so don't you feed me a line!

💙🧡 Iggy/Orlam: Funky- Royal Treatment Plant (x)

I should be over this No time for playing games with little wicked boys

💙💔💜 Iggy/Gidget: COWARD 2 COWARD- Ada Rook (x)

I will become whatever you think of me I will be nothingness or disgusting dreams Idol or target, anything in between Falling forever, witnessed by nobody

🧡🖤 Orlam/Cecil: Somethin' Stupid- Lola Marsh (x)

I know I stand in line until you think you have the time To spend an evening with me And if we go some place to dance, I know that there's a chance You won't be leaving with me Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place And have a drink or two And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

🧡💜 Orlam/Gidget: Pure Morning- Placebo (x)

A friend in need's a friend indeed A friend who'll tease is better Our thoughts compressed, which makes us blessed And makes for stormy weather

💜🖤 Gidget/Cecil: Guy.exe- Superfruit (x)

In lieu of cherry-picking specific lyrics I just want 2 say that the AMV in my mind is exquisite. In pursuit of the Guy (with help from Cecil), Gidget becomes the Guy. Do u understand.

💜🖤🧡 Gidget/Cecil/Orlam: Sideways- Carly Rae Jepsen (x)

Everything's goin' my way And I like to get my way Even when things go sideways Rainin' on my parade I get all my confidence from you

Lovecats- The Cure (x)

We should have each other to tea, We should have each other with cream Then curl up in the fire and sleep for a while It's the grooviest thing, it's the perfect dream

(They get two songs because...I said so. ❤️)

💔⚰️ Orlam/Genzou: Suedehead- Morrissey (x)

You had to sneak into my room Just to read my diary It was just to see, just to see All the things you knew I'd written about you

And that's the end! If u want to share your favorite ships or songs you associate with anybody, I'd love to hear them too!

[diningwiththeasquiths]

Jaccard - Part Two

Ended up writing more for this fic. Part One can be read here. 660 words of Carmy dealing with the fact he hired down-on-his-luck NYC Chef to come work for him at The Bear in a moment of madness. Still genfic at the moment, but feel free to squint and imagine whatever ship you like. :)

Instead of sleeping, Carmen fends off panic attack after panic attack throughout the night. Somewhere around 4 AM he starts wondering if his mind made it all up somehow, and Chef Frederick is still a safe 712 miles away from him in New York City.

At least he doesn’t throw up when he gets up in the morning, that’s something right?

He blinks when Frederick actually shows up, right on time and dour as ever. Okay, so not a figment of his imagination. Especially since everyone else can see him too. He introduces Frederick as the freshly hired Chef de Partie and tries not to cringe when offhandedly mentioning they’ve worked together before, but nobody asks any questions. In fact, everyone seems relieved the position got filled, and after saying hi to Frederick they move on to the order of the day. 

He’s giving Frederick a quick tour of the place—fighting the urge to wipe the nervous sweat from his forehead—when Sydney asks if they can talk. Nodding, he wraps up the tour and asks Marcus if he can grab Frederick his uniform, distracted by the dread in his stomach about what exactly it is Sydney wants to talk to him about. It sounded serious.

“Hey,” she greets him, when he finds her in the pantry. “So, congrats on the new hire. Really cool that you came to me first, to discuss that, that was really nice of you.”

Shit. Another fuck-up in a long line of fuck-ups when it comes to being a good business partner to Syd. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”

He means it, but damn if it doesn’t feel like a weak apology. He absolutely owes her the whole explanation. Even if he’s actually not that sure what the fuck happened. 

“Look, he was Head Chef at the restaurant I worked at back in New York. I don’t know why I hired him yesterday, the guy made my life a living hell. I mean he really pushed me, but I think he definitely went too far, you know. But now he’s like, financially ruined or something. Something to do with coke, I don’t know. He says he’s clean now, so. Anyway, do you need me to fire him?”

Syd’s been staring at him during his rambling account of why certain things happened the way they did, looking increasingly less pissed and more concerned. 

“We don’t have to get rid of him, I don't think we should, not without good reason. We really need a new Chef. But, a heads-up would’ve been nice, that’s all I’m saying. You've gotta include me in things like that, please. Even if it’s just calling to say you panicked and hired some asshole because you’re too good for this world, okay?”

His mouth twitches into a grateful smile. “Heard, Chef.”

When he steps back into the kitchen, Frederick is getting acquainted with his responsibilities while Tina keeps a watchful eye. Carmen’s obviously not worried about Frederick’s abilities, except for his ability to follow orders instead of barking them at others. The queasy feeling in his stomach returns.

Richie and Fak walking past is a nice distraction, their loud arguing so nice and normal that it’s soothing to Carmen. He isn’t even hearing the words of their argument, just lets the heated dispute wash over him while he goes over the preparations for tonight.

They’re so invested in their petty disagreement that they aren’t paying attention to where they’re going; Richie especially seems to have forgotten all kitchen etiquette. Carmen watches them from the corner of his eye and catches Richie almost bumping into Frederick. 

“Watch it, Beanstalk,” Richie says. He doesn’t miss a beat, barely glancing at the new hire as he continues argueing with Fak, the two of them making their way to the backdoor. 

Tina shakes her head, muttering something to herself in Spanish. Only Carmen sees the way Frederick’s eyes narrow behind his glasses.

Fuck. That better not become yet another problem.

Part Three can be found here.

[misfitsandmusings]

Affiliated With: @climatact // @piratebento // @multixroses 💕

Carrd | Memes | PSAs | Wishlist |Interaction Call | Interest Checker | Promo

MOBILE RULES UNDER CUT:

General / Important Rules:

This blog is independent, private, semi-selective, and medium to low activity. IC interactions are limited to mutuals only. I will not follow back if there are no easily accessible rules on your blog or I can't see our muses interacting.

AU, OC, and Crossover friendly, but I'm selective with OCs (an easily accessible about page is a must), and I tend to second-guess myself most and be slowest on OC and crossover content.

NSFW material will be present on this blog. The mun is 25+ and a fan of angst, dark themes, spicy/smut scenarios, and more. Smut will be tagged nsfw and hidden beneath a banner and a read more; other common triggering themes will be tagged appropriately. Minors may interact at their own risk, but note that I will not write any spicy/nsfw material with a mun under the age of 18. Any minors attempting to engage in nsfw material or caught lying about their age will be blocked on sight.

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PSA: My muse and overall activity are sporadic. Sometimes I reply to things as soon as they come in; other times it may take me weeks. I go wherever the muse takes me, am prone to hyperfixating on threads, and I openly favor interactions with my affiliates (people I frequently chat with OOC!) I rarely respond to my drafts, asks, etc. in the order they came in. I might like or post meme calls even if I owe things. I might send you memes or unprompted things even if I already owe you things. None of this is meant to be hurtful; it's just how my brain works. For the sake of both my mental health and your time, please do not interact if any of these things are a deal-breaker for you.

That said, I like to think I'm a really laid-back RP partner. I'll never rush you for replies, I'm okay with dropped threads, I'm totally fine with (and encourage) you sending me memes or unprompted starters if even if you already owe me things... At the end of the day I'm here to have a good time and hope you are as well. Nobody should feel guilt or make others feel guilt over a hobby. If you're feeling it, DO IT - if you're not, you're not. Full stop, no explanation needed.

How to Interact:

If we're mutuals, feel free to send me memes, IC asks, headcanon prompts/requests, like my starter or meme calls, etc.

I'm also really interested in chatting with my mutuals ooc as well! I know this isn't everyone's favorite, but for me I find it easier to write with people I chat with on a regular basis. I'm generally very shy, but I value this so much I am 100% willing to reach out and be the outgoing one if you're shy or don't know how. You can literally just IM me like "Hi I want to talk but I'm shy!" and I will be like -cracks knuckles- "I GOT THIS."

A note about memes and inbox spam: When I say I welcome inbox spam, I freaking mean it. You can literally send me every prompt on a meme and I will not bat an eye. You can continue sending me memes even if you owe me things or I already owe you things - if the ask box is open and you want to send a thing, do it. As long as you've read "EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PSA" in the section above and are okay with me responding to things in random order or it taking me a while to get to everything, I generally encourage and even dare you to send whatever you feel like sending. To be honest if we’re just starting out I genuinely prefer receiving multiple memes. If you only send one and I don’t get a muse for it right away I’ll feel really bad and get angsty. 😭 So please do not hesitate to send lots and lots of memes!

Shipping Stuff:

The mun of this blog is shipping trash. I'm not only here for ships, but I'm not going to lie, I'm like... 75% here for ships. It's my RP experience and I make no apologies.

Ships are chemistry based and must be discussed beforehand. I will never force a ship or assume you're interested in one even if A ) our muses are together canonically or B ) I have our muses listed as a fave ship. Please don't assume or force a ship on me, either.

There's a "shipping info" section on each of my muse's bio pages in my card listing some of my favorite ships and any ship restrictions for them. I'm firm on my restrictions, but I'm open to exploring additional ships even if they're not listed in my favorites if you've got one you'd like to pitch!

As a general rule of thumb, my muses are portrayed as demisexual and demiromantic. I'm pretty openminded with my ships. I enjoy some toxic dynamics, I'm pretty lenient on age gaps as long as both muses are 18+... I'll add more to this as I think of them but yeah. If you're shy about pitching a ship, feel free to send in an anon ask to see how I'd feel about it.

NSFW memes are open exclusively to people I already ship with. Don't send me spicy stuff unless we've agreed to explore a ship beforehand.

This blog is multi-ship. I don't and will never do exclusives (please don't ask.) I'm more than open to writing the same ship with multiple people so if you see me RPing a ship you'd like to explore already, don't let that stop you from reaching out.

Other Misc. Notes:

Affiliates are people I talk with OOC a lot! I'm always open to more of these, so if we talk regularly and it's something you'd be interested in just be like: "👀 Affiliates?" and I will be like "Affiliates. -nod nod-" (Like, I think you'll know if we have this dynamic? I'm not subtle/shy.)

I LOVE AUs and playing in each other's verses. I love intertwined muses. If you like one of the threads or verses you see me writing with someone else and you think your muse would be interested in playing / adding to that dynamic, PLEASE DO IT I WOULD LOVE IT. I'm interested in exploring multi (2+) player verses/threads as well! I love canon-divergent "What If" scenarios and building entire AUs from the ground up as well as dabbling in each others' pre-existing verses.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Confused bi anon here again.

I don't believe I'm owed an explanation, I just seek to understand. Nobody needs to justify their existence, especially to strangers on the internet. Sorry I came across that way.

Matter of fact, that's why I'm asking on anon; I don't want people who know who I am to know my sexuality, and asking via anon to someone who gets tons of anons helps me separate it from my blog, because I believe someone's sexuality shouldn't matter in terms of how they're treated. Imo, sexuality should be boring. Celebrated, but boring. Like hair colour. We have it, it's a part of us, some choose to celebrate it, some don't, but it shouldn't affect how we treat the person, if that makes sense.

So, yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I expect...anything from other queer peeps, I just wanted to see their perspective. I'll try to word things better next time.

okay so 1.) asking a bisexual to explain why some people are only attracted to one gender was goofy and I think you know that and 2.) re: my last answer, literally every person experiences attraction differently. no two lesbians are going to have the exact same sense of self and the same is true of gay men and straight men and straight women and anyone else who falls under the broad umbrella of "not into multiple genders." there's an infinitude of perspectives and you will never know them all, let alone understand them. and that's fine! find peace with not knowing!

[amalthiaph]

Hey, love. I saw your Tech and Phee art (the no pickles thingy) and I wanted to say that a) I love it, keep up the amazing work and b) you owe no one no explanation or apology or anything because the art is literally based on a meme, nobody owns it, and you didn't plagiarize anything or anyone by making your rendition in your own style. I know the internet can be really tough and it feels like you're going to be eaten by a mob for not apologizing for everything you do, but please don't be so tough on yourself.

Love your art! Keep doing amazing.

-🥐

Okay, first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH for this! ❤

And uhh, being called 'love' reminds me of how Hera calls Kanan that and it makes me go hsgfhdnsnsnsns.

And thank you and everyone here; I really appreciate all the love and support I'm getting here on Tumblr. It is true that if I go back to January 2023 and told my then self everything, she wouldn't have believed me.

Truth is, I might have been trauma-dumping here on Tumblr:

I had several bad experiences with the art community on other sites. I had one artist tell me that I might have been insecure with them because they have a more successful art career than me. And I was really hurt because that was only my first month in making digital art. Of course I was small, of course I haven't found my audience. I just don't think it's fair that they compared their Day 200 to my Day 1.

Relating to me claiming I don't have a good sense of humor, this was 2012 and I was in high school. We were doing a play and I was in charge with the sounds. When the villain came in, I played a villain leitmotif (I wasn't sure if it's the Imperial March I played and it probably is) and no one understood the joke, in fact, they frowned, and my classmate beside me told me I had a terrible sense of humor.

Now for ten years, I never told a joke. It's because I was told I had a bad sense of humor. So when I made that Sabezra Post, I had a lot of people laughing about it until now (which I am grateful) and it made me wonder, do I really make bad jokes or I was just not with my target audience?

And Tumblr answered that question for me: I was playing for the wrong people.

I am that artist that goes after the satisfaction of being able to create art, whether I have a thousand audience or none. But you here on Tumblr made me realize that my creation are appreciated and loved by people. And I always like to return the love through things like the Redneck Doug series and the Mayday x Phee art which were presents to Dr. MM and Doug.

Imagine for ten years, I bottled up who I was and what I had inside, and people here on Tumblr pulled all that out of this little body of mine and embraced it and loved it.

It will forever be an honor creating art for you and making you all smile.

May the Force be with us all. And I love you all so much!

And uhh, random tangent: I dreamt last night that Disney+ suddenly released The Bad Batch S3 and I got pissed because they just..dropped it. No trailers. No announcements. No anything. THEY. JUST. RELEASED IT. And I woke up feeling pissed off lol.