#Noah Pred

[hungryfan45]

I imagine today’s been a busy vore day for you. How many guys have you eaten so far?

Unfortunately I can only post 30 of them at once. but you get the picture. 😉

[tame-a-messenger]

Since the sit com live is so close, what are your main predictions before watching? Do you think it’s gonna be good, who do you think is gonna break the most, and stuff like that

OOOO FUN!!

I think it's going to be the best Live they've done in recent time!

I really believe in Syd and Olivia as the main writers, anytime they've been involved with writing things with Smosh it's always my favorite content (I've watched Smosh videos and ended up thinking it was better than usual and of course their names are always attached <3)

From what Syd + Olivia said;

Keith & Angela are going to have long dialogue with hard words, so they will probably be getting things wrong and switching somewhat frequently

They also said Amanda & Shayne are probably going to break often based on how much improv and wild que cards they'll get.

I'm thinking

Chanse will break a lot because of Krungle

Damien & Noah will break over Dominic and Sebastian

Anthony is going to break a lot purely based on him not acting too much the last couple years (he's also going to be having too much fun!)

For who's going to break the most I'm thinking Keith, Chanse and Anthony? They seem the giggly-est to me :D (I can't wait to see the tally of breaks after!)

MOVING ONTO PREDS!!

REALISTIC PREDIDICTIONS

The Chosen's are going to be in-between storylines as a sort of "Ad Break" I'm guessing they'll be doing the Live voting segments

Martha x Dominic kiss

Krungle flirting with all the cast and saying some VILE pick up lines

Young Sebastian is going to blow someone up (light someone on fire?)

UNREALISTIC PREDICTIONS

Musical break? like they break into song at some point (possibly romantic)

Benny having Homosexual tendencies

Martha revealed to be a lesbian (I'm thinking there's going to be something romantic going on with her and one of the other main characters)

Martha x Krungle reciprocated flirting (see above^)

Young Sebastian having a kid crush on one of the main 4 (main 4 = Benny, Dominic, Martha, Kevin) NON RECIPROCATED !!

The show ends with Kevin getting his birthday party, and his birthday cake setting off Sebastian's contraption(?) and the screen cuts to black as explosion sounds go off with screaming :D

I won't be able to watch it live so let me know if I got anything right!

The biggest thing I'm excited for is everyone being together! It's never happened with all of the cast in this era!

[wehaveagathering]

Who Does the NHL Instagram Account Love? It's not the Flyers. A (shortish) Statistical Analysis (December 1-15, 2023)

(I don't know anything about statistics.)

Recently, as a Flyers fan, I've kind of become sick and tired of seeing the @NHL instagram account NOT post my team. Of course, every fan of any team is going to feel their team is'nt getting enough love online, but I had a feeling that I wasn't just making this up. So I counted every single post so far in the month of December – from the 1st to the 15th – and added up each time the NHL instagram posted each team.

Qualifications for what counted as a post:

It could not be the list of nightly scores or weekly power rankings.

It could not be an official game announcement. Unofficial game announcements, like Connor v Connor graphics, were allowed.

It could not be a trade or coaching change – but signings did count.

If it was a video of a play during a game, the post counted as a tally for the the team with the successful play.

Any sort of list, play-of-game compilations, or fantasy team counted. However, if a team was listed twice in a post, they could still only receive one tally. In this essay I will –

The average number of posts per team was 18.47 and the median was 17.5 out of the 591 posts I counted. It's important to note that because I didn't count other types of posts – official NHL compilation videos with different players, game announcements, scoresheets at the end of every night – that the total number of posts between now and December 1st was probably around 700. I didn't look too closely at that number.

The team with the most points was the Canucks (20-9-1), with an outstanding 39 total posts, 6.6% of the total posts and 11 tallies ahead of second place with 28. Of course, the prevalence of Quinn Hughes and Brock Boeser on league-leading stat sheets, as well as the Hughes Bowl in early December and the recent influx of Luongo posting all helped to bolster this number.

Trailing behind them in the high twenties were the Rangers (20-7-1) with 28, the Oilers (13-13-1) with 27, the Devils (15-11-1), Isles (14-7-8), and Lightning (14-12-5) with 26, and the Avalanche (18-9-2) with a measly 25. All of these teams save for the Islanders had the help of league-leading scorers on their teams, which bolstered them in the compilation-post and fantasy-team standings.

On the opposite hand, trailing in the single digits were the Montreal Canadiens (12-13-4), Seattle Kraken (10-14-7), and yes, the Philadelphia Flyers (16-10-3), with 8, 9, and 9 posts respectively. (That is 4.39% or 4.4% percent of the total posts – these three teams combined for less posts than the Canucks.) The Nashville Predators (17-13-0) and the Calgary Flames (11-14-5) barely scraped into the double digits with 10 posts to their name each. The Flyers and Flames both struggled to even get on the board, and were the last two teams without a post after 3 days, when Carter Hart made a Goalie Save of the Week compilation. The Flames got on the board after 4 days worth of posts with a Noah Hanifin assist against the Avalanche.

Generally, better teams got posted more, and worse teams got posted less, but that wasn't always the case. (Clearly – the San Jose Sharks were posted 22 times! I love you san jose ❤️) Look at the Flyers and the Predators – two teams who have been good surprises this season, but have been neglected by @ NHL. Out of the teams who have been posted the least, the Flyers and the Preds have the best standings. On 12.15.23 the Flyers were at 16-10-3 with a .603 points percentage, and the Preds were at 17-13-0 with a .567 points percentage. Despite these extremely decent and reasonable stats, and the Flyers currently sitting in a playoff spot in the Metro, both these teams were only posted 9 and 10 times in the first half of December – out of 591 posts! That seems unreasonable.

In the first half of December, the Flyers received 3 solo posts for goals from Cam York, Sean Couturier, and Tyson Foerster. The Preds received 4 solo posts for goals from Yakov Trenin, two from Filip Forsberg, and Colton Sissons.

This other one though, that according to my rules, I had to count, pissed me off. These two tiny names counted as 10% of the total December postings for these two teams.

Knowing that this was the kind of post that counted for so many of these teams, this was the kind of post that bolstered the scores of the Oilers and the Canucks and the Devils, makes it nearly all the more egregious that this was the extent that it took to acknowledge the Flyers and the Preds.

Also, I think if I counted the posts that included videos of plays made against the Flyers in the games that the Flyers won, I would go absolutely bananas, despite the fact that, FOR example, Konecny is tied for 8th in goals this season with Pastrnak and Panarin. Konecny, with 16 goals and 24 points so far this season, was posted one time, on a December 5th Play of the Night compilation post with... three Coyotes. Compare this to the two 12.2.23 solo posts celebrating a Pastrnak goal.

Clearly, there's favorites. And it has nothing to do with how well a team is playing. The Edmonton Oilers, Chicago Blackhawks, and San Jose Sharks are sittin pretty in the bottom ten teams in the league but have a combined total of 66 posts. Is it about the engagement each team gets? Maybe people don't interact with Flyers or Preds or Kraken posts as much as the other ones. Is it secretly Gary Bettman, who hates me and the Flyers personally? Does the NHL just not like the Flyers? On another topic – does the amount that these teams are posted correspond with the amount they're posted on other sites, like Twitter or Tumblr?

And this isn't even getting into how approximately half of the posts about the Ducks were about Leo Carlsson, or the Caps were just Ovechkin, or the poor Montreal Canadiens, who are being shunted to the wayside to make room for the Chicago Blackhawks and their 32nd-in-the-league standing and their 17 posts, 16 of which seem to be about Connor Bedard. I didn't record these numbers, but they sure as hell SEEMED like this was the case, and I've learned to trust my gut.

I definitely know what I want to look for and need to figure out how I want to document these stats differently in the second half of December for a more thorough analysis on the types of post each team is receiving. This has been an interesting, if frustrating experiment, and I'm looking forward to part 2. I love you Flyers and I love you hockey, and I... I don't love you, NHL. You can rot.

[vore-scientist]

Peas In A Pod

[Non-sex/ual GT vo.re. Male pred, male and female prey. High fantasy fairytale setting]

Alt Title: In Which Yonah Is Visited By Some Old College Friends

Summary: Two of Yonah’s friends from back in wizard college happen to be professional thieves and foolishly accept a contract to steal an item from his tower. This goes exactly how you’d expect but the fun part is in the juicy details!

A fun GT adventure in a magic tower! Magic chase/fight scene! Vo.re! GT snuggles!

Warnings: Sort of betrayal/extreme fearplay, no injuries (except to feelings). Strong language.  A sprinkle of very mild adult humor near the end.

Thank you to my proofreaders @j0hnnymouse and @vixen525

---

“This must be good if they called you both here in person.”

The figure behind the desk kept their face in shadow under a standard issue, but highly personalized cowl. They turned their head to indicate looking at each of the two thieves in front of them who were not wearing cowls, but rather had elegant wizard robes. It was notable that their robes, when examined, had intricate design and stunning construction, they were not brightly colored as was tradition, opting instead for shades of black, and if one wasn't looking (and why would you be? It's rude to stare), you might forget you saw them at all. 

“Yeah, weird that the normal missive delivered by raven was a summons, not the offer,” said the female twin. 

“Just go in,” said the Shady Secretary, waving them into the office. 

The twins had to shield their eyes, as the room they entered was considerably brighter than the lobby. There was no inch of this room where light did not touch, and nowhere could a shadow even be cast. The desks and drawers were solid to the ground and the ceiling was one large mirror. The only objects in the room were a filing cabinet and a desk. 

The person behind the desk was not wearing a cowl, but showing off her old scarred face. 

“Thank you for arriving so promptly No-uh… um…” she frowned as the twins grinned. Even the guild head couldn't tell Noah and Noam Berkowitz apart. 

“I’ll cut the crap,” she declared. “One of our top B&E’s had a failure about a week ago,”

Noam made a mental note to figure out exactly who it was. Everyone’s business was meant to be kept secret. Gossip was strictly forbidden. So of course, the entire guild was full of it at all times. She kept her face straight. The grand master had started speaking. 

“But the client is so graciously giving us a second chance. I suppose when you have been waiting for so long to get an object, one failure is not a deterrent.”

She took a breath. “We have been keeping tabs on an item for several years for this client, and its location was finally confirmed when His Mystical Majesty decided to move it to a new location. Scouting this place proved difficult, as it is in the Mystical Woodlands. The locals all had conflicting stories. We finally narrowed it down to a particular tower guarded by a giant mage.”

The twins exchanged glances, but quickly returned attention to the guild head, hoping she had not noticed. They were both thinking the same thing. 

“Mage…” the guild head growled. “It wasn’t just a mage, it was a wizard!” she cursed, “Giant wizards? Since when has your guild allowed that?” she spat at the two wizards in the room as if to accuse them. 

Noam was a bit shocked that the guild head didn't know. It had been big news for a time. Yet somehow, most people had not noticed or did not care.

“A wizard who, according to our operative, took a great deal of pleasure employing a unique form of torture. She only escaped using a teleport stone. Wasting it, she said. even when it was the reason she made it out alive.”

Oof… both twins winced. An expensive tool for dire situations. And Yonah, for this must be their friend from the wizard academy, had forced her to use it? Fuck… They knew his contract with King Ben was to be an evil wizard but he wasn't actually evil… was he?

“You see why I called you here?” the grand master asked. 

In perfect sync they answered. “Sending wizards to deal with a wizard.”

“Indeed,” she said. “Here is the contract.” She held out a scroll. 

It was standard-issue: an anonymous client (at least, to them), a description of the object, the amount they would be paying (considerable), and the normal stipulations upon success or failure. Except… the object in this case had some extra conditions, as it was heavily cursed. It was advised they do not touch it for long, nor look into it. But above all else, do not fall asleep with it anywhere on one's person unless stored in a pocket space.

All they had to do was sign it. Not with their names but with their guild codes. 

“We want more of a cut,” Noam said. 

“Excuse me?” The guild head looked shocked.

“You wouldn't even consider trying this again if you didn't have wizard thieves. You don't have other options, so unless you give us a larger percentage of the reward, you can tell your client to find another guild hall.”

The guild head’s fists clenched and unclenched, but there was nothing she could do. There were no other thieves who were also wizards. And while it would be amusing to have a different thieves guild hall fail the same contract, it would harm the guild’s reputation as a whole.

“Fine…” She took back the scroll and, with the quill on her desk, made a quick adjustment. Noam took it and handed it to Noah. He whispered a quick spell and pressed a finger to the number 10% which had previously been 20%. The percentage the guild would take. 

“The change is a complete one,” he said. “I am hurt that you think I would try to trick you, the only wizard thieves in the entire guild,” said the guild head, as if she had not tried several times before. 

Noah and Noam inscribed their guild codes onto the parchment and handed it back. 

“We won't let you down.”

----

“So, that’s the plan,” Noam said, rolling up the diagram. “Unless you have any more input?”

“I’m still worried. That map of secrets was drawn nearly a hundred years ago by a different inhabitant of the tower. Surely Yonah’s made changes.”

Noam nodded, a valid concern. “So we will improvise where needed. We can’t exactly scout the place. He’ll smell us. And we don’t have enough scent mask to scout and infiltrate.” 

She was right, of course. She always was. 

“We should have explored more during all of those potlucks he held,” Noah sighed. “Or waited for him to host another! At least we’d know the basic layout.”

“We were kind of busy!” Noam said. “And the next potluck isn’t for another month. So let’s go.” 

“Wait.”

“What now?” Noam was looking impatient.

“Are you sure about this? Stealing from our friend?”

That got him a suspicious look. “It’s not stealing from a friend. It's stealing from the king. Always ethical. Second, we signed the contract, and if we bail we won’t be blacklisted - we will voidlisted!”

“I conceded the first point but the second…” Noah laughed. Noam frowned. “What is so funny!?”

“You’re always the suspicious one,” Noam replied, “And yet you believe voidlisting is a thing,” “It is so a thing!” Noam insisted. “Is not!” Noah said. “It’s a rumor, and a bad one at that, to scare initiates.” Noam’s face grew red. “Fuckers,” she hissed. “Still-” she recovered, “-Yonah doesn’t own this item. He is guarding it. So we aren't stealing from him.”

The more they bickered, the sloppier they’d be on the job, and Noah knew it. So he conceded defeat and followed his sister through the woods.That was step one: finding the tower in the living maze that was the Mystical Woodlands. While they walked, Noah checked and re-checked their supplies. Magical daggers, magical lockpicks, spell supplies, thieves tools, and the special formula scent mask that worked on giants. 

Noam stopped him and tasted the air. “Should be… Around this mound!” she said with more confidence than Noah thought was deserved, until they had stepped out of the forest and entered a grand orchard. Grand in a literal sense, as many of the trees either boasted huge flowers or sagged with enormous fruits while others were of normal scale. 

“This explains the fruit basket Shoshanna got for her birthday,” Noam said. “And the subsequent gifts of jams we all got.”

At first, the trees seemed randomly planted. However, as they walked through, the pattern became visible: there was space for a giant to walk through most of the area. The same could be said for the garden. There were dozens of beds for plants of all sorts, many of which the twins recognized from their own studies of plants that were common spell components. But there were also so many they didn't, and a good portion of those looked rather dangerous. They probably should have paid attention when Yonah had given them tours of the garden. 

In particular, one plant, not in a bed, was at the base of the tower. Thick green vines with deadly black thorns twisted up all the way to the single window fifty feet above the ground. Even guild members didn’t have flying equipment to get them up easily and entirely avoid the thorns, which were surely sull of poison. 

The twins were not ordinary guild members. They were wizards. They did have flying equipment to get them up easily. It wasn't an elegant carpet, not anymore, but it worked just fine and was small enough to use almost anywhere. Probably the best item they’d ever stolen. 

“You forgot the carpet?!” Noam snapped.

——-

Sometimes being a royal mage and evil wizard is exciting. Sometimes it's so boring that one cannot help but fall asleep on the job. Or… perhaps one was not careful enough reading old tombs. King Ben’s archeo-agents had recently gotten ahold of some very old fairy tales, possibly written close enough to the historic events to be foundational. They were not happy about Ben ordering them to hand them over to Yonah. No one ever liked handing the half-Fire Witch ancient and very flammable objects. 

Now, if you think this is such an honor that Yonah is being trusted with, it’s very much not. Yonah was given them because it was pretty much guaranteed these were cursed from cover to cover. It was his job to attempt translations, then determine what the curses were and, if possible, break those curses without destroying the books. 

And that is why Yonah woke up face down on his desk, the book of Sleeping Beauty glued and imprinted into his cheek.

Maybe he could put a charm on his glasses to block the remnants of sleep magic. But until then, he’d work on another book. He eyed the smallfolk-sized bookshelf that had been shipped to his tower. Not all the titles had been translated yet, so he wouldn't be taking a chance on any of those. And no way was he even touching The Wild Swans. He couldn't be sure if the magic was powerful enough to turn his sister into a swan or if it would be limited to himself. 

It was amusing to try and imagine his sister as a swan. As a giant being of fire, it would be nearly impossible to turn her into a normal swan, even with incredibly powerful magic. Certainly the magic in these books wasn't enough. Best not to chance it. Nor The Princess and the Frog. Good chance of turning into a frog. Perhaps … Goldilocks. 

He’d already lived through his own version of that*, so at worst, reading it would summon Goldie to his tower. Surely the chaotic entity that was Goldie had a little more control of her Aura of Entropy. Right? 

(*see Goldilocks and the Giant Wizard)

Or he deserved a break. He had been working really hard, even if the work was sitting at his desk. Upon standing, his vision swam so badly he thought for a moment he had been cursed and would wake up as some small animal. When that didn't happen, he instead went downstairs to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Work was definitely done for the day. 

Unless it wasn’t. He was certainly done with his royal mage duties. He didn't think he could even read a book for pleasure tonight, let alone for more work. No, no, no!

In a moment of delirium, he had thought about his comfortable bed and not the kitchen and had walked into the sitting room. He realized his mistake and turned around, then stopped in his tracks. 

That was blood he smelled. Of the human kind. But it wasn't just that. There was something else but his tired brain wasn’t connecting the scent to the memory. Maybe he just needed a better sample. He let his nose lead him to the source of the scent.

There was a small spot of blood on the floor right where the doorframe met the floor. He knelt and breathed in deeply through his nose. 

No way. But it couldn't be anything else. Or rather, anyONE else. And if he was here, she had to be as well. Then he realized: they had snuck in. That meant they were here on business. Alright then, business. If it was their job to steal, it was his job to stop them. He licked his lips. Back in school, he had only tasted them and had never given serious thought to eating them, or anyone really. Now he thought about it. Now he couldn't stop thinking about it. Now he desperately wanted it.  

----

So far so good. Better than good! They had snuck right behind Yonah as he sat at his desk and slipped through the hole in the trap door without any indication that they had been noticed. Not even a twitch of his giant ears.

Truth be told, this was a dream assignment. On paper. Breaking into a location they had visited many times, they knew the layout without having to scout or get a map. The reality was different. Sure, they had been here before, But trying to find a magically guarded item in a wizard tower was never going to be easy. The location wasn’t going to be someplace easily accessible, that’s for darn sure! Process of elimination helped them at least avoid wasting time looking in places it certainly couldn't be. 

“I am very sure,” Noam said as they climbed the bookshelf. “What wizard doesnt have a hidden vault or entire set of passages and rooms behind a bookshelf?”

“Plenty of them! We don't!” Noah pointed out. 

“Evil wizards, Noah,” Noam retorted. “Evil wizards. Or any wizard with a lair, which we don't have. We should get a lair! Even Shoshanna has a lair!” “She has a bakery!”

“Same thing!”

Even with both of them pulling books from different shelves, it took a while, Yonah had a lot of books and, of course, the shelves were giant-sized. They did find a few fake books with keys in them and objects that were so obviously cursed, they were not the least bit tempted to steal a little extra side-loot. Nope. Not at all. After all, they had two more shelves to check.

Then they had one more shelf to check. 

“It’s not behind a bookshelf.”

Noah jumped (quiet the wrong reaction from a trained thief) while Noam darted behind a book, silently cursing her brother. 

Yonah was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, those brown eyes enlarged a little by the spectacles staring straight at them. His expression was hard to read but Noam hoped it was amused. Surely he was amused, yet he just stood there. Even leaning to the side, he nearly filled the opening… 

“It was fun for a while,” Yonah said. “Watching you work so hard for something so fruitless. But alas, I would bet what you’re after is behind my spice shelf.”

The twins should have bolted. Anyone would have. But they both stayed where they were.

Yonah smirked. “Let's get this over with then, yes?” 

Finally he moved. Or rather, stomped, towards them. 

“FEE! FI! FO! FUM!”

Now they really should have run. Only, Yonah had to be playing around. He was just trying to scare them! Noam glanced at her brother, who was gone, and Yonah laughed as he came closer. 

“I SMELL THE BLOOD OF HUMANKIND. IT MATTERS NOT THE THINGS YOU STOLE, I’LL CAPTURE YOU AND SWALLOW YOU WHOLE.”

That’s when she ran. Not that Noam thought he would eat them, but he was being damn scary! And after all, if he intended to play childish chase games, she wasn't going to lose! At the very least, she wasn't going to lose and let her brother win.

“We didn't even steal anything!” Noam yelled back, slipping behind the shelf. It felt safe there. She could choose her direction from here, and hopefully not the direction Yonah anticipated her to go.

Such was rendered moot when Yonah dragged the shelf away from the wall. “Oh, it's not going to be that easy,” he taunted. The brim of his hat cast an ominous shadow over his face, except for his glowing eyes. 

“No, it's not.” Noam crushed the capsule in her hand, casting a quick wind spell before covering her own face and running blindly in the opposite direction, as Yonah shook the room with his powerful sneezes.

There was only one destination for her. How foolish of Yonah to reveal his secrets so openly. The stairwell seemed so much further away as she fled towards it than when Yonah had been standing in it. Giant houses suck. Everything is so spaced out!

And of course, Yonah recovered fast. Probably cast his own wind spell. Glancing back, Noam could see his eyes were more red than orange, but now he looked legitimately angry. The glance was long enough to see him gesture, and short enough for her to turn forward and see the carpet rise, intending to fling her back. She pushed some magic into her feet to jump, land on the wooden floor, and dash again as the carpet fell right at her heels. 

Then it lunged for her. Dammit, that wasn't a puppet spell; it was an animation spell! Fine. Two could play that game. It was risky to get out her staff, but it was worth it when her reversal spell hit the carpet and it turned on its owner. Maybe it was folly to stop and watch Yonah get wrapped by his fancy carpet, but she knew she would have regretted not seeing the look on his face; his head was sticking out the top, all squished as he roared in frustration.

She made it to the stairs and gave a silent thanks to The Whole that she could go up or down and still reach the kitchen, and down was definitely faster than up. Even if the human steps would be easier, it was faster to leap down the giant ones and let gravity do the work for her. 

Noam didn't know if she wanted to find Noah in the kitchen or not. No, she did. They didn't get as far on high-rank jobs by being competitive. They got there by being a team. So where had Noah gone…

This was where prior knowledge was really going to come in handy. Yonah had two locations where he kept spices. Actually, it was three but she was designating the drawer and cabinet in the kitchen as the first and the cabinet in the walk-in cupboard as the second. That was surely where the secret entrance was.

Of course, she had to figure out the trigger to open the vault. Nooks were easy: take them out, open them. But it couldn't be as simple as removing the spice jar or sack. She’d probably have to use it in some way. But first, she needed to open a lot of jars. That way, she could test a bunch all at once rather than one at a time. 

Fuck! She knew she had overlooked something. Her eyes stung and her lungs burned as she popped the cork on an amber bottle, a poof of red hitting her face before she could react. How could she forget Yonah kept about a thousand different pepper powders!?

She stumbled back and smacked herself in the face with her staff as she cast a water spell. The water blasted her in the face and it was instant relief, as long as she kept it up. 

Then the water stopped, and she felt the familiar sensation of a half-giant’s hand wrapped around her body. She had one teleport spell but the chance of re-capture was too great to waste it here. 

“Now now,” Yonah chided. “You’ve already seasoned yourself. I couldn't have you undo all that good work!” 

Another familiar sensation: a giant tongue across the side of her face. 

“Okay, okay! You won!” Noam protested. “Well, if you get my brother, that is.”

The grip on her did not loosen as Yonah closed the pantry and marched back to the sitting room. “Oh, the other one? Caught him before you.” He pulled a rather disoriented Noah from a pocket.

“Very funny,” Noam said. “You know that’s Noah. Now let us go and- uck!”

The grip on her tightened. And Yonah’s face turned harsh with a grin. “I’m sorry, did you miss the part where I said I’m going to eat you?”

Even if the air had not just been squashed out of her she would have been rendered speechless. The statement brought Noah back to reality.

“You- You wouldn't!” he squawked. “Yonah-”

“We’re your friends!” Noam managed to gasp.

“You are THIEVES!” Yonah spat. “Thieves who now know the location of one of my secret vaults. I cannot let you live.”

“You told us how to find it!” Noah objected as he tried to run away, but Yonah caught him mid jump.

“So I did,” he chuckled, licking his sharp fangs. “So I did.” 

“But we’re friends!”

Yonah shrugged. “And now you’re food”

That prompted a tirade of confused protests. It took all of Yonah’s self-control not to laugh as his friends slowly realized he was serious. Until the mostly verbal protests turned into verbal spells. A particularly nasty one hit him in the nose and he nearly dropped them as the itching crawled from his nose to his ears, but he was able to tuck them both under an arm as he used one hand to scratch his ears and the other to end the spell.

“Alright, enough.” he seethed. Unsurprisingly they did not heed this order and Noam started to shout another spell. 

“Food doesn't talk,” He fumed, and shoved Noah into his mouth. 

He half expected Noam to blast him with that spell she’d been preparing, but for some reason she didn’t. It was the perfect opportunity. He had to focus on swallowing Noah. 

Wow, he had forgotten how good these two tasted! And it was so nice of them to show up and offer themselves to him, even if he had to work for it. But he had to make this quick. Who knew what mischief Noam was getting up to, even trapped in his grip? A shame. He really wanted to savor this. 

Even so, he did hesitate for a moment. He had never eaten a friend before. Okay, clarification - there were a handful of people he became friends with after having eaten them. They don't count. He had never eaten a friend he made before he became evil. Not that the twins were his best buddies or anything, but they were still his friends. And now he was eating them. He could hear Noah crying. He could feel Noah crying. Now that he thought about it, Noam too. 

“~no!”

She weakly squeaked as her brother’s kicking feet were pulled into the ravenous maw. Without any hope, she clawed at the giant hand, attempting to get to her brother. 

And she released an unholy shriek when he took that massive, satisfying swallow and the squirming lump that was her brother disappeared. Yonah might have only been half giant but eating one human didn’t make a difference in his physique. Maybe he looked a little full? Just… Occasionally, minute movements could be seen from underneath Yonah’s robe as Noah fought to get free, but only the smallest of tremors. It was nothing to the half giant. 

And Noah was screaming too. She’d never heard her brother scream like that. He was dying in there, inside the belly of their former friend.

The giant looked at her with fiery, hungry eyes. Teeth glistening with drool. Then he did something truly terrible.

“Absolutely delightful!” He declared, “And struggling wonderfully. You have to feel this.”

No, she didn’t! But Noam didn’t have a choice as he pressed her against his stomach. Oh GODS. The fabric didn’t do much to conceal her brother’s futile struggles under the dense flesh. She could now hear and feel his terror. 

The stomach made a happy gurgling noise. And they both cried out ugly sobs.

“NOAH!!” She broke her silence and slammed her fists against the Giant’s gut, as hard as she could. “I’ll get you out! DAMMIT!” It was to no avail. Everything shook as the giant laughed at her. 

“As much fun as it would be to see you try, I'm not that desperate for entertainment and you smell so delightful,” the giant cooed, looking down at the squirming human. He pulled her away and back to eye level. “If your brother tasted that good, I can’t wait to eat you.” 

Yonah licked her face again. Noam winced as she was covered in near-scalding saliva. 

“Mmmmmm, you definitely taste better!” 

Still laughing. Deep, hollow, and victorious at their demise. She could only shake and blubber in his grasp. 

Then he blinked. And the fire faded away. The laughter was pitched up and mirthful. An annoying laugh.

 A familiar laugh. 

“Y-Yonah?” Noam’s fear, confusion, and rage were fighting and sentences were not forming. 

“You-you should see your fa-faces!” He continued to laugh, nearly bent double and clutching his hand over his gut, squishing Noah who was screaming so loud he could be heard over the giant’s laughter. 

“You really believed I was going to kill you!” he wheezed, and adjusted his grip on the woman so she sat in his palm, held there by a thumb. 

“Fucker!” The cries of Noah changed from desperate fear to frustration. And a reduced level of fear. “Let me out!!!” But Yonah ignored him. He was talking to Noam.

Who shot him an angry salt filled glare. “You… you-!”

“-had you fooled?” Yonah straightened up, catching his breath. “HOO! That’s a good kick you got there Noah. Keep it up! Maybe it will be enough to make me puke. Hasn’t happened yet, but first time for everything, right?”

The struggling stopped. Dang, he shouldn’t have said anything. He focused on the woman in his hand.

“I’ve gotten pretty good at this big bad giant act!” Yonah smiled brightly, as if he had just played a harmless prank on them.

“Aha, ha, ha…” Noam nervously smiled but couldn’t maintain it. “ACT?’ ACT!?! YOU FUCKING ATE NOAH!” she shrieked, which only bolstered Yonah’s amusement. “STOP LAUGHING! IT ISN'T FUNNY!”

“Wrong! It’s hilarious!” Yonah chuckled as he rubbed his stomach in contemplation, before nodding, “And don’t worry - I’ve got room for you!” He announced with cheeky, monstrous excitement, poking his fingers into her side like she was a baby and he was playing a game. 

Art by @pythonpie (tumblr and twitter) (ive had this art since 2019. Finally used)

That set Noah off, and he flailed harder than ever. Oh, that was so nice. Truth be told Noah was rather stuffed in there, but stomachs stretched. Even if Noah filled up the current space, he could make more… Right?

“No! Spare her, please!” Noah pleaded. “You already ate me! For the love of the gods!”

“YONAH, DON'T DO THIS!” Noam begged, eyes red & puffy, her tears mixing with his saliva from before. 

This was worse than him not remembering them! He did remember. He was still going to kill them! And he was going to enjoy every moment. 

“Don’t kill us!”

“Me? Kill my friends? An absurd notion!” His hollow words failed to assure Noam as she was brought closer to his mouth.

“But first-” breathing in her scent and blowing hot air out “I have a job to do. So are you ready to join your brother?” His smile broadened as he indicated his stomach with his free hand.

“THE HELL I'M NOT!” Noam bellowed, kicking at his face as he opened his mouth wide yet again. Noah, meanwhile, continued to pound uselessly at his insides.

Yonah forced Noam’s feet into his mouth with his free hand and his tongue, pushing her back, licking her legs greedily as she continued to curse him out. His only answer was to swallow. 

She tasted almost exactly the same as her brother. Almost. It was subtle, but he could tell the difference.

Swears turned to desperate pleading shrieks as her head passed under his teeth. 

“I AIN'T GOING DOWN THIS EASY!”

“GKKCHLKK-!”

He choked as she twisted around only halfway in his throat. She reached out of his mouth and grabbed onto his fangs! Was she stupid?! He could accidentally bite her hands off! No matter, he just lifted his tongue up to dislodge them, feeling her scramble to find purchase on his tongue. All she succeeded in doing was give him more of her flavor before she was pulled the rest of the way into his throat, her hands the last thing to go. 

He would have liked to be gentle, but he didn’t have the time, Noah had already been sitting in his stomach for a literal hot minute. So he swallowed hard, ignoring her peril and the objections of her brother.  She screeched as the pressure increased to pull her down to his stomach. 

Fuck!

He clutched his chest. She wasn’t progressing any further, despite his continued swallowing. At least he could breathe, though not well. The last swallow got her below his neck, but she was still putting pressure on his trachea. 

He should have anticipated this. Noah was stretching out his stomach. How he even found purchase, Yonah didn’t know. And it hurt! Noah was pushing against Noam’s feet, keeping her in Yonah’s esophagus. It wasn’t hard, as he already took up most of the space. Fucker probably though he could get him to throw up. It would take a lot more than that.

Yonah took a painful breath, his lungs and pounding heart pressing against his swollen throat, against Noam’s stuck form. She thrashed and his breath hitched. 

“Let her in, idiot! She needs AIR!” His voice was harsh and dusty. He wrapped his knuckles against Noah. 

With extreme reluctance, Noah silently admitted that Yonah was right. Even if it was a death trap, it was a death trap with “breathable” air. He stopped holding up Noam and let himself be squashed into the bottom of the stomach as another few swallows forced her to join him. Worried she might pass out, he grabbed a hold of her ankles and pulled in time with Yonah’s swallowing.

The stomach graciously stretched to accommodate the second person, way too naturally for Noah’s liking. But at least no air had been pushed out. 

Once Noam was entirely in the stomach, Noah hugged her tightly and cried. Through his own shaking sobs, he could tell she was panting and panicking with rage. 

What immense relief Yonah felt that Noah had given in!. In fact, he felt an odd tugging. That was really weird. But they were both safely in his stomach now. 

Well, not safe. Not for long. But that was okay. He’d enjoy the fullness for the few minutes he had before spitting them out, because it felt incredible. He rarely got to eat more than one person at a time. While one person certainly made him feel full, now he was actually full. And he wasn't going to let that feeling go so soon. 

If only they would stop yelling at him! He wanted to enjoy this!

/That BASTARD/ thought Noam /So calmly eating another human!/ No. Not calmly. EAGERLY! RAVENOUSLY. And not just any humans, but his FRIENDS! Back in school, while he had a little trouble adjusting to human culture, he wasn’t divorced from his humanity. And yes, he had tasted them, held them affectionately in his mouth, but he’d never shown any desire to actually eat them. 

“LET US OUT, YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!” Noam started screaming with her first breath of the rancid “air”.

He had been pretty much like any other student. Just larger. He’d helped them study for exams! Made veritable feasts for them in the kitchens! He trusted them not to reveal his secret! And they had kept it! So why, why, why was he so excited to make a meal of them?! 

“Hmmmm,” was all the response she got.

“I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR US!” She berated him with a surprisingly strong kick for someone so restrained by his stomach walls. 

“Ugh…” Yonah grumbled. “Yeah I can, and you’re ruining this for me. Shut the fuck up, alright?” He had once again dropped his low villainous voice. That part of the game was over. 

“YOU ATE US! I WILL NOT-”

But he tapped a finger to his stomach and cast a silence spell. Ahhh, much better. Then he felt one of them, probably Noam, dispel it.

“MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO YOUR PRECIOUS FIFTH ASPECT I WILL KILL YOU!” 

“Rude much?” He cast it again but this time maintained it, and he felt Noam thrash after trying and failing to dispel it. They might be powerful wizards in their own right, but his firewitch heritage made him stronger. Noah flailed too. It was cramped in there. 

The fluid levels were creeping up. They had to convince him to let them out before it was too late and they took desperate measures. The problem was they couldn’t speak! That made certain spells unavailable, plus he had taken their staves and thieves' tools. And the secret real thieves tools! He had found everything. It was also painfully obvious he was more than happy to leave them to die in his stomach. 

Wait. Maybe they didn't have to convince him…

Now that Yonah had a moment’s quiet, he could fully appreciate their struggles and lick his fingers of their taste. He sat on his couch and leaned back. Ahh, this was the perfection of comfort. 

“Uh, uh, uh!” With his hand to his stomach he felt the beginning of a teleport, the spell trying and failing to latch onto him. The result made him, and notably his stomach, feel dissociated with reality. But he stopped it before they could set it off entirely. 

“That’s not gonna work, so don't try it again unless you want to be sitting in bile,” he warned. “Teleports make me feel icky.”

Specifically, people trying to teleport out of him made him nauseated. At least teleports that didn’t account for him being half-firewitch. Such attempts failed and gave him a splitting headache. Noah and Noam had forgotten the firewitch resistance factor; his head was swimming a bit. 

He gave them a few seconds to process this. Mostly with additional attempts to assault him from the inside. Okay, maybe another minute. Or two. Or three…  

More than the rolling motions of the muscles and the powerful pulse, the worst of this was the moving pressure on one side of the stomach. Noam had seen it from the outside… she knew he was stroking his stomach, stroking them! Chuckling as they retaliated. Letting them know he could feel them, taunting them in their soon to be tomb. 

Then his voice returned. 

Even at his normal pitch, from inside him it rumbled. 

“I’m going to let you speak now. Do not make me regret it.” The pressure was lifted away, and the silence with it.

“Yonah?” Noam experimented. The silence spell was indeed gone. 

“Yes, Noam?” he trilled. 

So condescending! 

“You’re a fucking asshole!” She choked on panic and foul air, but all the words got through. 

“Thanks! I try my best!” And he patted his stomach again. 

Neither of them reacted beyond bracing themselves as they bounced, having learned last time it wasn’t worth it. 

“Can you not?” Noah pleaded, “Is it not enough that you ate us?”

“Don’t act like I’m the one at fault! You broke into my tower. You know I’m evil now.”

“We didn’t think you were a MONSTER WHO ATE HIS FRIENDS!” Noam retorted.

Yonah chuckled. “No need for name calling.” That got him a few more kicks. “I wasn’t evil back at the academy!” He continued to massage his slightly swollen stomach “And I didn’t even know I could do it. Swallow a human whole, I mean. An elf? Probably. Gnomes for sure, not that I ever did. Anyways, I was fairly sure I couldn’t eat a human. I’m a bit on the small side compared to most giants. Never seriously crossed my mind, no matter how good any of you smallfolk tasted. Especially because of that one time I nearly choked to death on Micah.” (yes I am writing that story) 

He heaved a sigh, feeling his diaphragm push down on his friends. 

“But I’ve since discovered I can. And it’s pretty damn great”

“It really isn’t!” Noah spat.

“Oh, nonono! Not for you. For me,” Yonah clarified. “You have no idea. There is really nothing like a belly full of smallfolk, just… squirming away in there! You two are wonderfully feisty by the way. Is that because you’re thieves and are good at maneuvering in tight spaces or because you just love me?”

They didn’t answer his question. They didn’t say anything, they just sobbed loudly. They were going to die knowing their friend enjoyed murdering people by eating them alive. How could someone have changed so much? Was the world truly that horrible? And he was still playing with them, poking them and squishing them.

“Something wrong?” He said innocently. “You’re not moving as much!”

He sounded worried? No. That couldn’t be it. Disappointed?

“Maybe we don’t like the idea of you enjoying our deaths!” Noam answered.

“Eh, I’m not gonna kill you.” Yonah gave his belly an affectionately sharp nudge, pleased that saying so earlier had been interpreted as a big fat lie. “I’m going to spit you back up.” He was not pleased that this still did not encourage them to struggle again.

“You’re not gonna ki-? … You're gonna WHAT?!” That voice cracked and Yonah couldn’t tell who said it. But it was very doubtful.

“I know, I’m convincing.” Yonah sounded way too proud. “But kill my friends? I’m not that evil. And I know from experience that, currently, you two aren’t even close to passing out let alone dying. Give me a few more minutes. Maybe some good kicks?” He patted his stomach again to encourage them. He looked down to see if they complied. 

Maybe they weren’t dying just yet, but it was getting harder to breathe and the offensive fluids around them made their skin sting, reminding them that this was a stomach. Those were stomach fluids trying to digest them, regardless of whether Yonah wanted to or not. So Noam gave one big kick before withdrawing. That was a nice jolt! But no more as he heard them both grumble. Oh well. Maybe he should be a little less evil… But only just.

His occupants yelped briefly as he jauntily made his way down the stairs. Then screamed wildly as he pressed his hands to his stomach and started to throw up.

“There you go!” Yonah declared, as he coaxed them under the sink faucet. “Right as rain!”

Noam said nothing and lay back, submerging herself in the water to get the offending fluids out of her hair. Noah was still shaking, holding onto Yonah’s hand as an emotional anchor. With his other hand Yonah reached for a bar of soap and from his pockets got out the thieves’ supplies.

Noam snatched the leather harnesses back and got out a knife, carving into the massive soap, handing a chunk to Noah. 

Yonah didn’t try to make anymore conversation as the twins cleaned up. But he did supervise them. Resting his arms and head on the counter. These two couldn’t be left alone, and he didn't have anything pressing to do. His research could continue tomorrow.

“Since you’re here you might as well stay the night.” His tone made it clear that this wasn’t optional. “It’s been a while since I’ve had friends over.”

“Oh!?” Noam piped up, she was drying off using one of his hand towels. “Bold of you to assume we’re still friends!”

“Ah!” Yonah gasped, putting a hand to his chest and tried to look dramatically devastated. “What harsh words! Surely something as ridiculous as eating you didn’t destroy our special bond!”

Noam glared at him. “We never had such a thing. But if we did, it’d be gone now!”

Yonah rolled his eyes which only made her fume. “I thought you were made of stronger stuff. Being eaten didn’t stop Myran from becoming my friend! Or Jake! You know I eat him, right?” 

There was a lot of silence as they processed this. It was finally broken when Noah finished up his shower.

“For the record,” he said, “I’m still your friend.”

----

Yonah woke up a bit disappointed that he was only cuddling with one human and not two but Noam had been adamant about distrusting him, even if Noah snuggled right up to him just like normal. His little thieves had been quite worn out. And even with Noam’s distrust, he had heard her fall asleep even before her brother. And she was still asleep now. He peeked into her makeshift bed, a large treasure chest into which he’d placed a very fine mattress, the fluffiest pillows enchanted to stay cool, and the softest blankets. It just looked so adorable to have smallfolk sleep in them, and he had several for when he had many guests. Of course, he preferred when his friends slept with him. 

So he placed her brother with her and went to fix breakfast. Neither had an appetite for dinner, so they were bound to be ravenous. He smiled as he recalled that the twins favored breakfast food was pancakes. While he couldn't make them as perfect as Shoshanna, he was proud of his recipe, and Shoshanna didn't have syrup from the secret maple grove in the Mystic Woods. He also made a mountain of eggs scrambled with onions, his more mild peppers, and some greens. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he snarled at Noam, whom he’d spotted sneaking in the direction of the pantry from the corner of his eye.

“Can’t blame a thief for trying,” she huffed, and clambered onto the table where Yonah had set up the smallfolk dining table.

“I can!” Yonah objected. “But I won't hold it against you. Where is your brother?”

“Just taking another shower. He still felt a bit sticky,” she said, and scrunched her face as she tried not to think about why. 

Yonah served her a few hot pancakes, but then crossed his arms like a stern teacher. “What were you after, if I may ask?” 

“Uhhhh..” Noam took a bite to avoid answering. So Yonah took a guess.  “Was it the emerald?”

Noam couldn't help but talk through her mouthful. “Why would you think-” 

“She blabbed?” came Noah’s voice as he climbed up the table, his curly hair rather shiny and smelling like fresh pomegranate. It took a lot of self-control for Yonah not to lick the little human. 

Noah looked horrified, and he stole a pancake off his sister’s plate. “She lied in her report! What did you do to make her speak?!”

“What do you think?” Yonah smiled and winked. “It’s amazing what people will say to get out of my stomach.”

“A stomach that they’re going to be let out of regardless…” Noam stabbed at her brother’s thieving fingers, to no effect. 

Yonah drew up his posture. “Noam, if you two, my friends, people I like, people I care about, couldn’t tell I was bluffing, what hope does anyone else have?”

Noam considered this over a few more bites of pancake.

“When did you get so good at being so evil!?” she finally exclaimed.

Yonah shrugged. “I think it comes naturally to fire witches. When did you go back to the Thieves Guild? Or did you never fucking leave?!”

The looks on their faces told him he was right. He put his arms around the humans, open palms behind them. 

“I won’t tell anyone,” he assured. “But I have to know, just in case you’re hunted down someday. I want to know if it was your own stupidity that earned your fate.”

The twins shook a bit. What was he talking about!?

“Were you stealing things from the Academy?” he asked. “Is that why you enrolled? Was the guild so desperate that they would pull a con like that?”

They didn’t relax, not all the way, but they let go of each other. 

“Of course we stole things,” Noam said. “We’re thieves.” Worry filled Yonah’s face, so Noah continued. “But not for the guild! Those unsolved mysterious robberies weren’t us! Attending the school was our choice.”

“Most of what we stole was trivial,” Noam continued. “We stole a bracelet from you.”

“My brace- wait! The one I had lost in Xharem’s treasure room? You stole it!? That was-“ the roots of his hair started to glow along with his eyes.

“You’re grandmother’s, we know,” Noah interrupted. “You told us back then, remember? And got so distraught, you couldn’t calm down your hair for two days and missed classes!”

“You helped me look for it! So when Eli found it under a fancy rug a week later-! You planted it! That wasn’t trivial!” Smoke began to rise from his glowing locks.

“Bad example,” Noah conceded. “But we didn’t- and don’t -know who stole the gryphon egg or the Book of Serpent King or the starfield sapphires or… well, you get it.”

Yonah sighed and ran his hand through his hair to calm it down before bringing the rest of breakfast to the table. 

“What did she say in her report?” Yonah asked, changing the subject to gossip, everyone’s favorite.

Noah and Noam didn’t understand for a second.

“Jack,” Yonah clarified. “The pro before you were sent. What did she say?”

More of the tension drained, as they were eager to answer. “Well, it was lacking details,” Noam began, “but we could tell the target had been you. Evil half-giant wizard in a tower. She said you employed a unique form of torture that she had to use her teleport stone to escape.”

“HA!” Yonah laughed. “Well, can’t say I blame her. Wasting the teleport stone on me would have been embarrassing.” He winked at Noam to remind her she made the same exact mistake. “I am a bit surprised she did not mention getting eaten.” He considered this a moment, then smiled. “But not surprised she left out everything else.”

The twins looked at his stupid grin with concern. “Uh- there was more?”

Yonah sighed wistfully. “I really shouldn't gossip, especially about myself. And it might get Jack in trouble. Not that I care for Jack, but we parted on more than amicable terms. “

Noam looked at him with narrowed eyes. “What do you mean ‘amicable terms’? You ate her!”

“Yes, I did,” Yonah said with a rather interesting, new kind of guilty smile. His cheeks were flushing red.

That took a full minute for the twins to process until Noah burst out with . 

“WAIT, YOU TWO GOINKED?!”

“Jack… of all thieves… sleeping with a giant… I don't believe it.” Noam was staring at her pancakes as if they would start talking and bring evidence to the contrary. No such luck, as Yonah felt the urge to add: “Oh, I was certainly not the first giant-”

“Stop talking! I don't want to hear anymore!” Noam protested, and Yonah resisted being evil. 

“Well, you’re welcome for that hot gossip,” Yonah said, taking another bite of his pancakes as he thought of how to change the subject yet again. He hit upon what he thought was a brilliant notion.

“Does your guild master know what you were hired to steal?” 

That question stunned them both for a moment. It was unexpected and they had to think about it. 

“No… I don't believe so. They only know it's a powerful magic item.”

“Well, I can't give you the emerald,” Yonah said and they nodded with acceptance. “But I think I do have a suitable ‘powerful magic item’ for you to bring back.”

And he explained his plan…

----

“A little later than I thought you two would be back, but a job well done, I must say!” The grand master held the packaged item. “Shady has your pay. You are dismissed.”

They both nodded and walked away. Slowly. This was the riskiest part of the scheme. Oh, they were sure it would work but they wanted to be able to confirm it. 

A second before they shut the door, they heard it. The loud, angry croak that sounded a bit like their names, though which name it was not at all clear. And they laughed as they took their money.

They would have to tell Yonah that the book’s curse indeed turned the reader into a giant frog. 

----

[THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REBLOG AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK]

[randomvarious]

Just added to YouTube:

F.S.P. - "Shifting to Be" Necessary Pieces 2 2000 Tech-House

Nice, smooth, exclusive, turn-of-the-millennium tech-house groove from Canada's Noah Pred here, operating under his one-off moniker of F.S.P. for Vancouver-based label Nordic Trax. He's a lot more popular these days, but this well-put-together bop from early in his career seems pretty obscure. Sweet mix of a hand-drummed backbeat with dubby, lo-fi synths laid atop, and squelchy, ribbiting bass blurps fit in between too.

[nonbinarysolothian]

Prey hc

Jaeden-

-Usually very unwilling, but willing if tired or wants cuddles

-Loves tongue cuddles(acts like she doesn't sometimes)

-enjoys being nommed by her companions but always hides it.

-Tastes like sweet coffee(og jae) or gummies or strawberries depending on the version of her.

-Can be very squirmy and pouty at times.

-Strangers nomming her are absolutely off limits unless they prove they're friendly.

-Has a potential of panicking cause of her past. But can be soothed by heartbeats and gentle rubs.

-For Enemies, well they better hope they can keep their teeth and not choke on her.

-Gets easily annoyed if suddenly shrunk or nommed. Especially by her brothers or bandit friends of hers

-mostly empty threats when it comes to friends. Might complain or protest but she'll eventually calm down and give up.

Preds:

Sanford,Deimos,Hank,Doc(mostly time out noms), Folly,Kace, Jack, Noah, Sheriff and Jeb. And a bunch of others she's either close to or know.

[blueikeproductions]

Rise of the Beasts is almost here, and the movie is getting pretty glowing early reviews similar to Bumblebee showing signs we have good talent behind it again. The toys however seem to be sitting on shelves mostly, though that might be due to price primarily as I have seen evidence of people looking at the toys and buying some. I’ve had an eye on the two pack Spark Armor style toys and two pack Autobot/Maximal/Terrorcon with animal weapons, but those are the most expensive toys of interest and not in my price range atm. One older collector I bumped into bought most of the Beast weapon toys so he could display them in Beast Mode and Gun Mode. So there is at least some demand for the toys.

I do have some quibbles due to recent interviews. Ol’ Lorenzo keeps insisting the film doesn’t break canon and is part of the Bay films, but the director and early audiences have all pointed to the film being treated as a reboot but still having nods to the older movies, like most franchise stuff are want to do. Lorenzo won’t let it go, but as far as I’m concerned, Beasts is part of a reboot era, and unless Paramount finds a way to shove the square peg into the Star shaped hole, I’m disregarding anything Lorenzo says. And it appears other officials are doing the same, as it has been officially declared RotB is a reboot, with a new trailer also calling the movie the start of a new era to solidify the deal further.

Steven on the other hand seems interested in seeing more movies that utilize other planets and other kinds of Transformers since they spend too much time on Earth. As much as I’d be open to fiddling with this, I’m not sure if they’ll actually do that. At best you get Nebulous, since it’s populated by human like beings, and you get more Scorponok for whoever keeps putting Scorponok in the films. I’m not sure how a Velocitron movie would work, is it Fast & Furious with the villains being the Stunticons? In any event, for context and mild spoilers, a post credits scene involves GI Joe recruiting Noah. If I had to guess, besides the usual Joe/Autobot team up, if this gets properly followed through, the Joes are likely meant to be NEST in this universe. Not sure atm what this means for Sector 7, which exists still via the Bee movie. Perhaps GI Joe is an extension of S7, as the Joe rep talking to Noah is fully aware of the Transformers. It’s worth mentioning it was recently revealed a Transformers and GI Joe crossover movie is in development, so the scene with Noah is clearly meant to build towards this. I suspect this may be how we get Megatron as well, with Cobra, like in past comic adaptions, discovering the stasis locked Megatron and seeking to utilize him as a weapon, also potentially explaining his inevitable (HISS?) tank mode, unless they decide to make Megs a helicopter like his Animated and EarthSpark selves. In any event, it doesn’t seem like Hasbro wants the Autobots to leave Earth any time soon, and it might depend on if the Transwarp Keys survive intact if they CAN get off world on the future.

Steven’s similar interest in wanting to show threats beyond the Decepticons feeds into my earlier concerns Hasbro doesn’t seem to want to use the Decepticons as major villains anymore. I mean let’s be honest, we all thought a possible Bee 2 was going to involve more Decepticons on a larger scale having picked up Shatter’s transmission because Soundwave detected it, none of us expected Terrorcons or Maximals. It makes me wonder if Horrorcons will be in the sequel: guys like Apeface and Snapdragon would lend themselves well as Unicron agents. With Unicron, at least at the moment, intended to be the trilogy’s main antagonist, I don’t really see any other evil Transformers beyond the Terrorcons right now anyway. Even Beast Machines felt it was less complicated not to involve Predacons so the Vehicons could shine as the main enemy. That being said, when there’s Maximals, usually there’s Predacons, so the Preds might have a shot at becoming antagonists. It’s not clear who else survived Unicron eating the Maximal planet, but they clearly had better luck than the Lithones did. Megatron’s Predacons surviving seems like a safe bet going by advertisements that feature reliefs of Terrorsaur, BlackArachnia, Waspinator and the like. That said, Scorponok was part of it, but he appears to be allied with the Terrorcons and is a mass produced drone despite being labeled a Predacon in toys, so… -big shrugs- I could see Megatron’s goal being similar to RiD Steeljaw in that he wants to create a Predacon homeworld and chooses Earth for his purposes, intending to wipe out all humans, Autobots and of course Optimus Primal to claim his prize. I’m sure they’ll eventually bring in Decepticons later on, but the fact we abruptly jump from the Great War to whatever the deal is with Terrorcons doesn’t inspire confidence there. I do hope though that since we have Scourge, the next leader of the Terrorcons is Cyclonus. Still has the Acolyte of Unicron mask, but he is helicopter patterned after Armada Cyclonus, lol. I mean if this Scourge is a homage to RiD Scourge, I don’t see why we can’t get this.

[x75-productions]

NHL Daily - Deadline Eve

NHL Daily - Deadline Eve On the eve of the #TradeDeadline, there would be more trades as well as a 12 game slate of action #NHLBruins #CauseChaos #CBJ #LetsGoFlyers #NJDevils #ALLCAPS #Flames #Preds #mnwild #Canucks #GoKingsGo #Isles

On the eve of the Trade Deadline, there would be more trades as well as a 12 game slate of action NHL News and Notes Thursday, March 7th, 2024 News The Vegas Golden Knights, Calgary Flames, and Philadelphia Flyers would do a three team trade. The Golden Knights would acquire defenseman Noah Hanafin. The Flames would acquire defenseman Daniil Miromanov, a Conditional 2025 1st Rd Pick, and a…

[torley]

Created by Ableton Certified Trainer Noah Pred, the Subtraction Engine generative MaxforLive MIDI performance effect is designed to mute steps of incoming MIDI drums, melodies, and harmonies to create variations, build tension, or experiment with different expressions of rhythmic and musical phrases. You can do this manually for full control… Sound & Music https://isotonikstudios.com/product/subtraction-engine-by-manifest-audio/

[8dpromo]

KiloWatts & PointBender - Western Wolf Remixes (Harmonious Discord)

8DPromo · KiloWatts & PointBender - Western Wolf Remixes (Harmonious Discord)

Last summer Harmonious Discord released a rare vinyl feature highlighting two long-time label creators, KiloWatts and PointBender. The EP featured deep, cerebral journeys like “Circling the Crown”, pulsating nighttime anthems like “Western Wolf’, and low-swung cross-over classics like "Swangert." For this release, the two producers enlisted the brainpower of close friends, returning artists, and consistent innovators to help celebrate 20 years of the label. Included in this set is the return of house music legend Demarkus Lewis. Demarkus remixed Morgan Page on Harmonious Discord in 2004 and his applied skills to this project produced two fantastic flavors of "Western Wolf," ripe with bumping movement. Behind The Sky boss and genre-bending force, Bluetech applies his deep knowledge and context to deliver a beautifully evolving masterpiece. Berlin’s Noah Pred explores innovative angles of bio-mechanical feedback with a beautifully growing, often organic feeling re-imagining. The project starts off with a musically elevated remix of “Swangert”. Bluetech sets free the dithered musical undertones with modulated synth patterns that dance romantically by and through each other. The vocal treatment enters cosmic terrain while the subtle bass jamming keeps a funk focus flowing. Next up is the Deez Puppy Chow Mix of "Western Wolf" which tames the elements of the original into a body-moving selection prime for rocking big-sound speakers. The remix reaches peak-time tension with the introduction of expertly crafted acid lines. The following Deez Acid Free Remix delivers the same energy without the frontal acid line, but more emphasis on rising effects patterns that maintain the level of insanity. Our final guide into the deep crevices of a-cult warehouse worship is the Acid Reign Remix by Noah Pred. Pred doesn’t hesitate to get into melodically complex corners from the start and leaves plenty of room for sonic expansion as his synthesizer elements embody a mind of their own. A true embodiment of Harmonious Discord's 20-year celebration is perfectly captured in this high-powered collection.

Colin Dale (Abstrakt Dance Records) – “A solid EP with some really cool sounds.” Anthony Pappa (Bedrock) – “Noah Pred’s Acid Reign remix is cool.” Rory Hoy (Howlin’ Records) – “I really like the Bluetech remix. Funky stuff!” Scheibosan (Shanti Roots) – “I like the acid on Deez Puppy Chow Mix.” Black Mighty Wax (Irma Records) – “An intriguing release.” DJ Firefly (Couch Dancing) – “Great new takes on some excellent originals.” Simon Kirk (Proton Radio) – “Powerful remixes. Truly forward thinking music.”

Available Now From: Beatport, Bandcamp, Apple Music, And Spotify.

[hungryfan45]

What’s your preferred way of hunting for prey at a pool?

This is where carrying a straw comes in handy. No matter how fast they try to swim away nobody can escape getting sucked in

Even Michael Phelps is swimming in my stomach.

[adsrvancouver]

A very special piece of music from Canadian legend: Noah Pred.   “Homeward was born from a promise to my mother, made in the weeks before she left this realm. In the end, it didn’t seem right to simply collect existing projects, or even to work within my usual constraints: I wanted to devote myself to creating something as unique as she was. Eliminating the rhythms of the dance floor I had come to rely on and take for granted over the years – so stable, so dependable – mirrored the untethered process of grieving through which the album was made. Forced to venture outside my comfort zone, bereft of familiar structures, transformative possibilities emerged, pointing toward a new version of home.”

[nicodaws]

r the preds fr losing to the habs i cant do this

[carrieyouwithme]

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carrieunderwood: Story time with Daddy...Learning about Noah...and my heart melts... ❤️❤️❤️

[spishaychicken]

Resting in a stomach

Me and my roommate Noah, who we have become good friends since we became roommates. We are in college, well at least I am. Noah just recently dropped out because of stress, debt, I understand why he dropped out, it’s still sad since he said he was gonna move out.

and all though it’s pretty common for preds to just pick up random people and eat them in public, almost every lunch a random pred would eat him and Noah would go hungry. It would also be different preds so, I can’t track them down and tell them to not do that, and he told me that even some preds ignore that they just ate him and continue eating their food getting food mush all over him. He knows that he’s not the only one going through this, but he noticed that they preys at least have some sort of consent before getting eaten. So after he gets digested by the pred and resawning, he has to hurry and hope that he’s not late. I feel bad for him, I don’t blame him for dropping out.

While for me, I’m majoring in sociology, Noah was majoring in a psychology major of some kind, but again, he dropped out. I’m considered a pred, but I don’t really like eating people. I only eat people because of my big body frame, and me looking intimidating, people start fights with me. And instead of escalating it into a brawl, I eat them, I mean, it’s easier for them to struggle and fight inside me than doing it outside.

Well, recently Noah been asking me some questions after I convinced him to not move out and stay at least a little while more. Question like, “Why don’t you eat people often?”, “Do you ever like the taste of your prey?, “Are you hungry? I could help with that!” Questions like that, I was too oblivious, I’ve should of saw the signs earlier.

One day Noah looked angry, well as angry as he could look. Then he suddenly opened my mouth and climbed in, I was in shock, I didn’t know what to do. He was trying to go to my stomach and I didn’t want to choke, so I had to swallow in the moment. And I didn’t know what to do with my arms, when I fully realized what’s happening, I thought of pulling Noah out, but I’ve heard stories of prey trying to pull other prey out of preds mouth mid swallow and the prey trying to help the other prey gets accidentally eaten too, and since Noah is purposely trying to get eaten. So I just stayed there doing nothing while being panicked.

After fully swallowing Noah and Noah settling down in my stomach I tried to fully, fully process what happened. I sat down to try to talk to Noah.

Noah, why- what did you do this?

You know why I’m in here Michael!

I- I really don’t know…

I wanted for you to eat me… but i felt embarrassed to ask you directly, so I asked question hoping you would get the hints. But you kept answering the questions, not even getting the hints! I had enough when I asked you “Hey, how do you think I taste?” and you just responded with “Well, you used that strawberry scented shampoo, so maybe strawberries??” And moved on!

Oh, ohhhhhh…

As Michael listened to Noah, the puzzle prices started clicking into place.

Well, you can’t stay in my stomach forever, and besides, didn’t you want to move out?

But I wanna, and I only wanted to move out because I’ve really wanted to eat me, but I didn’t know how to ask you, and since I was dropping out, I felt like I would just be dead weight and a waste of money for you… but since you tried to convinced me to stay, I thought that this might be the last chance for you to eat me.

Oh! I- I’m sorry, I didn’t know that.

It’s fine.

But seriously, you can’t stay in there forever.

Michael and Noah started to talk about what to do next now, and the rules for the stomach thing. The rules they decided are,

Noah can be in Michael’s stomach all the time except for eating, bathing, going to restaurants etc.

If Noah needs anything that isn’t in Noah’s and Michael’s “schedule” Noah just needs to tap the stomach walls until Michael notices it and then talk about it and release Noah to do the thing he wanted to do.

After those rules were set in place, both of their lives basically improved, for Noah, he got to rest in Michael’s stomach being with him. And of corse the people who randomly eat him because, he was always in Michael’s Stomach.

While Michael, even though some people gave him confused looks when he came to class with a full stomach class after class, but they got used to it. Also the random people that decide to fight me stopped since he always had a full belly. It’s a little awkward to go to the bathroom with Michael’s full stomach and coming out with Noah just to eat some food.

So, overall both of our lives got better because of this decision.

Editors note: Hi! This is my first story so sorry if it’s cringy ;.; I’m happy to take some advice

[readerinsertz]

NSFW D. Gray Man Character Requests MDNI

Haven’t seen Hallow yet, may update this when I have

✧ Kanda (Hard Dom, degrader, “pathetic, humping my boots already?” princess, slut, object insertion, fucks you with his sword, hair pulling, head pusher, doggy, doesn’t need to punish you cuz you’re too scared to disobey him and get be punished, spanked you so hard once you couldn’t sit down and were limping, punishments are normally him jerking off with you watching and not helping, sadistic, makes you (hygenically) lick his cum off the floor, cums scoops it up and either forces it back into your pussy or into your mouth, finger sucking, sparring that ends with him slamming you onto the floor and bruising your cervix, housewife/domesticity kink, takes care of your nails and hair without asking, makes sure you’re fed by giving you food and walking off lol, pulls you whilst you’re walking in the corridor into a broom cupboard just to kiss you for 10 mins with one hand gripping your waist/butt and the other resting on the wall above your head, makes you walk around with a dildo and smirks when people ask you if you’re okay, degrader, daddy? Or Sir, marking, threesome with Lavi to see who can fuck you dumb quickest, probably lets Allen watch him fuck you, Allen balancing him out with his soft dom-ness, “training exercise” where he ties you up and gives you 5 mins to escape then teaches you the correct way fucks you or demonstrate what the enemy would do to you, you in his lap back to his chest and legs hooked over his him fingering you, plays with your pussy in a non-sexual way, nipple pincher, size kink, strength kink, innocence kink but also if you are strong and can fight loves being the one to overpower and take you down, CNC, Pred/Prey, seems the type to steal your pants then casually twirls them around his finger when people are nearby- won’t actually let them get a glimpse at what is his but the way your eyes grow wide in fear and how your body brushes up against his as you jump to grab your pants he’s dangling above your hear is just oof, face and pussy slapping, Brat tamer #2- doesn’t even wait for you to tire yourself out from the tantrum before he’s on you, RP: akuma!reader x exorcist!Kanda, akuma/noah!Kanda X exorcist!Kanda)

✧ Lavi (Soft and Hard D, DD coos down at you, loves when he’s holding you up and fucking you and you’re too small and weak the only thing you can do is grip onto his shoulders, probably ties you up and gags you then leaves so he can come back to a present, pet play, fox or cat play, threatens to turn your pussy into his new hammer/innocence holder, praise, spanking, boot humping when you’ve pissed him off and have to work to get into his good graces again, dumbification, student-teacher, bimbo-tutor RP, Intelligence kink, pretends to “teach you” but gives the hardest material and fingers you so you fail, him tutting when you make mistakes, “it’s my fault, love, thought you were big enough”, soft gaslighting- 2+2=4 one day then 2+2=5 the next- “oh well, you’re too stupid to teach, might as well make you my cockwarmer/cum dump/ puppy”-, sadistic, “training exercise” where he ties you up and gives you 5 mins to escape then teaches you the correct way fucks you or demonstrate what the enemy would do to you, cockwarming, “where’s the scawwy monster little one, need daddy to make you safe?” collars, face fucking, deep throating, him holding his head on his fist propped onto the armchair, gazing down at you and softly telling you about some sex thing on his travels, fucks you with his fingerless gloves “nope, again, your slick still hasn’t soaked the end of ‘em” a tease, dirty talker, blindfolds, bondage, fucks on door that have people behind it, threesome with Kanda- wither 2 mean!doms or soft and hard dom, pussy slapping, brat tramer #3, looks at you bored until you tire out “you done little one?”)

✧ Allen (soft dom, “baby why are you pouting?”, great at fingering, strip poker where you’re naked and he’s clothed, NWCM, “incorrectly” teaches you poker so you always lose, him going easy on you if you persuade him, pet play, boot grinding, can be mean “look at my messy little pup, so in heat you got slick all over my boots. Clean it up”, cockwarming, praise, cooing at you, nipple pincher, plays with your pussy all the time, long train rides pass with a dildo/vibe in you and a gag covered by a mask, fucks you in your uniform, never let you touch his left arm but snapped one day when you came whilst grinding on it, maybe pins you down with it activated, pink pants with lace, lingerie, sugar daddy energy, hair pulling, marking, scratching, messy kissing, light face slapping, infantilisation, service dom, lace collars) 

✧ Kory (softest dom, in an AU where you’re all banging i can see him being the one subs go to for aftercare, wraps his cape around you and tugs you into his chest rests his chin on the top of your head, size kink, strength kink, protector, possessive and will pout if you don’t give him enough attention, cannot discipline you at all, probably has to get the others to do so, probably cries when he tries to spank you in punishment- which is an effective way cuz you don’t want daddy crying because of you, buys you anything you look at for more than 3 seconds, so many pet names, some in Romanian, biggest service dom, thigh highs, eats pussy for his pleasure, calls you his rose, vampire-maiden RP, master-slave/pet, him manspreading and you kneeling in between his legs lets you be bratty and hump his foot/leg, cooing down at you, infantilisation, adores you, sitting on his lap-cockwarming- and lets you play with his white streak or put makeup on him. When his innocence is activated oof mean/hard!dom Krory activates too, pins you down on the ground and raws you, CNC, Pred/Prey, manhandles you, scratches, biting, degrader, makes you believe he’s praising you in Romanian but its’s just degrading things, puppy play, RP: master-slave, his vampire salvia has aphrodisiacs RP, Dacryphilia, collars with bells)

✧ Kamui (soft daddy, makes a sybian for you, RP: scientist-new specie, need to test equipment on his assistant, assistant coming to science head for a promotion, teacher-student, bimbo-tutor, oral cockwarming whilst he’s working, pet play but with science to make it all real, injects you with stuff that enhances everything, probably cups your face with his hand, dumbification, bimbofication, NWCM, lingerie, wear his lab coat = fucked dumb, can be real sly, puts a vibe on you to see how many orgasms you can take, uses your pigtails to fuck your face, infantilisation, cumming on your face, ahegao and photos of it, school girl uniform)

✧ Lenalee (soft Domme, mummy, sooo much praise, sits you down between her legs and does your hair “lets see if mummy can make your plaits fall out again” uses them to fuck your face, picks your clothes; rarely remembers pants, makes you her bimbo, jock!girl x bimbo!girl, goddess-priestess, queen-maid, flips your skirt up and nonchalantly fingered you, inspections, strapons too big for you “babygirl, mamma will make it fit”, RP: headmistress-bimbo student; akuma!reader x exorcist!Lena, bonadges, boot worship, lets you suck her tits, plays with your pussy casually, eats you out in the library, pet play, kitten curled up naked at her feet, sits in her chair with her legs over the armrests hand in your hair directing you to her pretty cunt so you can spend hours worshipping her, NWCW, sits on your face, foot fetish-makes you kiss her feet, has a cruel streak, packs and pulls you by your hips to grind her bulge into your ass, praise, soft degradation)

✧ Tkyi (hard dom, degrader, makes you hump things, object insertion, RP: master-slave;master-pet; dresses as an aristocrat and you a whore; exhibition- fucks you in the town square but you are his- but also aristocrat-damsel; princess-knight; with PRIOR CONSENT gets your nipples peirced and clit- he/another Noah pins you down as he/another Noah pierces you, you going to the “doctor” cuz you tingle down there or your daddy taking you to the “doctors”-another Noah cuz “her princess parts keep leaking”; exorcist reader x akuma!Tyki, collars, face slapping, coos down at you, cockwarming, another one who’ll finger you whilst reading something, “let me show you why we keep humans as pets”, finger sucking, deep throating, has you servicing him whilst at the table with the others present, praise/degradation in Portugese, strip poker, sugar daddy vibes, uses his Choose ability to torture you, phases his arm through a door/seat and fingers you, Refusal ability to stop you coming and edges you, implants the Teez in you but they’re pleasurable like Ben Wa balls, fucks you in his awakened Noah form, him teaching you how to finger yourself, inspections of his princess, ahegao probably has pictures of it in his wallet)

 Haven’t watched enough of him yet to write requests for him