#No wonder you got caught in this web. You were easy prey.

[allycat75]

Strict mom, Boston Dumb Fuck?!!! I knew you were a bit dissociated from your self-inflicted, sucky reality, but I didn't realize how delusional and un-self aware you had gotten. Fuck!

On day one of that desperately needed, intensive therapy, please have them read all the interviews you have done with and about your mom and discuss in detail about the importance of establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries for an almost 44 year old man who apparently has never experienced them before. No wonder you got yourself into this mess!

There is a stunningly large chasm between your perception of reality and what your reality truly is and if you can't see what is obvious to almost any stranger, there is absolutely no hope of overcoming your severely underestimated, stunted growth.

Thanks, @savageunicorns for the additional insight!

[kiame-sama]

For the monster au: Bunny is a vegetarian and all these predators eat fruits and veggies with her to keep her happy and calm :) then go eat real food later.

To some degree, yes.

They do try very hard to keep their bunny from being stressed out or upset by their actions. However, 'monsters' still have that human part, so Bunny can eat both (though there is a soft spot for sweets).

Bunny was originally prey to the trio, which is how their game began. Who can catch and kill a sweet little bunny first. But they changed during their hunt, your scent telling them that you would be a wonderful mate. They were much more aggressive toward each other, the game ending when you got tangled in Chrollo's web and started screaming. You went into shock- as it is quite easy to put a bunny into shock- and they deliberated what they would do with you. They could kill and eat your soft meat, but their instincts were wanting a different kind of meat entirely. What sealed their decision to keep and not kill you was Chrollo pinning you up on his web, arms tied down and legs spread for them as they left you in only your underclothes. You looked far too good to kill but so delicious and small.

Even though you've adjusted to their presence, the scent of fresh blood makes you worry and thump your foot on the ground out of instinct. They try to keep their fresh prey downwind of you, but they also think you thumping your foot is hilarious and adorable. Look at you trying to warn them there's blood nearby, sweetheart, they already know.

Your warnings did help them once though, when you thumped your foot while 'safe' in an abandoned building. Some hunters were trying to creep up on the trio and got surprisingly close before you smelled the blood on their hands and gave warning. Now the trio does well to keep you from fresh blood because your warning thumps are actually very accurate if someone else is nearby.

You thumped almost constantly when you first met Illumi's family, but interestingly enough, it was not because of them. You smelled blood in the walls and one of the butlers who had infiltrated the home after a long several years was caught about to betray the family. You are a good bunny.

[yandere-daydreams]

half-spider half-human yandere with a darling who has arachnophobia

I think I’ve just been in a Yandere!Monster mood this week - I don’t know how else to explain what I’ve been posting, recently. Can you blame me, though? They’re so easy to run from, so easy to be afraid of… It’s only natural that they make good Yanderes.

Title: Arachnophobia.

TW: Spiders, Dehumanization, Mentions of Injury, and Mentions of Death. 

~

It’d always been the legs, for you.

You weren’t squeamish. If it hadn’t been for the legs, you wouldn’t mind spiders at all. The uncharacteristic fuzz that coated their bodies, those unblinking eyes that were too big and too small at the same time, their distorted proportions and awful fangs and general wrongness, you could take all of that, even if you didn’t care for it. Their legs were the only thing that got to you, the only thing that made you fear the tiny, harmless creatures beyond all reason. You weren’t blind, you knew there were much worse things to be scared of, and yet, nothing sent a chill up your spine like the thought of an insect no bigger than your thumb crawling up the back of your leg or finding its way into your hair, its steps so light and silent, you wouldn’t know its there, not until it’s already made its fangs at home under your skin. It’s irrational, or, it was irrational, at least. It used to be.

Ikto wasn’t harmless. You didn’t have to tell yourself not to be afraid of him.

If anything, you should be more afraid than you’ve ever been. It wasn’t like he hadn’t given you a reason to be.

You cried out as you collapsed, the noise somewhere between a defeated sigh and a desperate scream, too quiet to do you any good but too loud to go unnoticed in the stillness of the darkened forest. It’d been childish to go into the woods alone, it’d been stupid, and you’d known that when you came up with the idea. Still, you hadn’t thought it’d been stupid enough to get you killed. The legends told of a creature who spun web like rope, who could string up a group of hunters in translucent silk so quickly, they wouldn’t have time to notice they were being trapped, not before it was too late to get away. You weren’t a hunter, though, and you didn’t mean him any harm. You’d told yourself that a glimpse would be enough for you to overcome your fear, all you needed to do was look at him, and you’d never think twice about the spiders in your garden or the dark corners of your home again. But, you’d tripped, made a mistake, stepped on the wrong branch at the wrong time and earned a throbbing ankle and the attention of a monster for your efforts. It was so hard to navigate through cobwebs when you were running. It was so hard to navigate at all when you were crying.

And, as you collapsed to the dirt, weak sobs still racking over your chest as pain shot from your heel to your knee like hot trails of pure fire, you began to wish he’d just killed you when you interrupted his meal. That would’ve been kinder than letting you think you might’ve had a chance.

After a moment, you forced yourself to grit your teeth, moving to push yourself up, but it was already a moment too late. Without warning, without sound, something tapered and unyielding dug into the space between your shoulder blades, pushing you flat against the ground and giving you a minute to fight back, only pulling away then you failed to struggle against its strength. You already knew what it was, what it had to be, but you still found yourself holding back a gasp as you were unceremoniously dragged onto your back, clenching your eyes shut in an effort to delay the inevitable. It was an exercise in futility, but you didn’t open them again.

Not until something soft and familiar brushed against your cheek, and your entire body jerked up involuntarily. You had to fight not to scream, the awareness of just how dead you were making the pangs of your injury pale, in comparison.

If Ikto had any intention of making your slaughter swift, though, you couldn’t tell. He simply towered above you, watching with four pairs of eyes as you scrambled back, using what was less of your courage to put an arm’s length of distance between you and your hunter. You had to wonder why you’d ever thought you stood a chance against him. Standing, you would’ve only come to his waist, to the junction where his grey, thick flesh faded into a black exoskeleton, so sleek and so impenetrable, you knew the tiny dagger you’d brought for your protection would be useless before it was even in your hand. You could barely see his face, but you didn’t have to. Everything, from the mocking tilt of his head to the way his shoulders tensed and bounced upward in a stifled laugh, made his amusement clear. His tone did little to aid your blossoming humiliation, the heavy drawl only making you bow your head, your fear nearly overpowered by misplaced embarrassment. “I thought you’d be faster, human.”

You bit the side of your tongue, but you were speaking before you could stop yourself. More to quell your own nerves than to get on his. “I thought you’d be a better hunter, beast.”

That earned a breath of a chuckle, so airy and so dry, you might’ve missed it if he had anything to compete with. Unfortunately, no animals skittered from tree to tree to distract you, no birds sang to divert your attention. You couldn’t blame the woodland creatures for making themselves scarce. You’d avoid Ikto too, if you had a choice. “Awfully brave for someone who just stumbled into my web,” He started, bringing a hand - a human hand, thankfully - up to his chest, pouting in an exaggerated show of his offense. Despite his size, he moved soundlessly, stepping between dead leaves and over obstacles in a slow, seamless circle around you as he continued. Evaluating you, only speaking to keep himself entertained. “I was having such a nice night, too. No heroes come to slay me, no champions shouting to face me to prove their worth, no interruptions. Just me and my prey.” This time, you got a sigh. A shake of his head. A step too close, a spindly leg coming just a breath too near, leaving you shaking and digging your nails into the dirt, trembling as he looked on. “And then you came along and ruined it.”

“I’m lost.” The lie was spat hastily, forced out too quickly to be believable. This time, when he edged closer, you brought your knees up to your chest, curling into yourself defensively. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I don’t want to be here, I’m just… I can’t find my way home. I don’t know what to do. If you let me go--”

“If I let you go, you’ll get stuck in one of my webs and I’ll find you weeks later, starved and dehydrated and begging for my help.” He paused, pursing his lips, settling in front of you. When he crouched, his knees bending into jagged points and his arachnid stomach nearly brushing against the ground, you went tense, but you didn’t dare to move. You didn’t dare to look at him. You didn’t dare to think, not when it felt like he was prying into your mind a little more with every second he spent staring you down. “It might be nice. I’ve never heard someone plead for my help rather than my mercy. I try not to play with my food, but I wasn’t expecting something so small and so tempting to stumble into my territory. Certainly not something with the nerve to expect me to believe such a boring excuse.” A growl seemed to edge its way into his voice, absent of the primal reverberation it should’ve contained, full of something manufactured, painfully learned. You might’ve felt sorry for him, if he hadn’t been close enough for you to see the dozens of harsh, pointed teeth that prevented him from bridging the gap. “Are you that eager to get this over with, human? Do you want to die?”

You didn’t hesitate, shaking your head furiously as his smile returned. Unconsciously, your fingers twitched, ready to search the satchel strapped to your side for any weapon you could find, but in the blink of an eye, the burlap sack was speared through, flicked to the side with little more than a tear of fabric and the rattle of its content. “Please, I didn’t mean to--”

“I’ll compromise.” Again, he cut you off, standing to his full height, taking your wrist as he did so and dragging you to your feet, his grip not loosening when you winced, attempting to favor the foot that wasn’t trying to detach itself from your body. “I won’t kill you. I’ll take you back to my den, make sure you’re attended to, but you have to come with me willingly. Say you’ll behave, and I’ll make sure you don’t have to limp your way into the loving jaws of the nearest wolf.”

You didn’t respond, but you flinched, and that was enough of an answer for Ikto. With a sharp, sudden pull, you were off of your feet entirely, dragged against him and held there with one arm, his free hand pressing against the back of your head, encouraging you to lean into him, to be affectionate. You wanted to push yourself away, to tell him you didn’t need his pity, that you’d rather take your chances with the most rabid of dogs than with try your luck with him, but your ankle pulsed and your body ached and you needed his help more than you wanted not to. And when Ikto began to walk, when you caught a glimpse of a long, inhumane leg moving easily over the uneven terrain, you weren’t sure if you could even move.

You weren’t sure if running was an option, not if he’d be the one chasing you.

“It gets lonely, occasionally,” He admitted, his voice so soft, you almost didn’t hear him. You almost wished you hadn’t been listening, by the time he thought to go on.

“And I’ve always liked the idea of keeping a pet.”

[haechanhues]

since it’s been like over 2 weeks here’s an updated version!

Hyunsuk - too be honest if i were to ever meet him, and if it was ever emotional i’d be kinda afraid to just in case he’d cry. his laugh is an instant boost of serotonin. i love his rapping. he honestly makes me emotional and i’m so proud of his character, his achievements and the way he’s so involved with music and the world around him.

Jihoon - sigh. has my heart and soul. i’m whipped for him. everyone knows it too. they just need to look at my posts and then they’re sorted. the amount of times a particular person has caught me being sappy and mushy over him is ridiculous. i want him to get ink on his arm. i caught myself checking out his thighs and calves today. i feel like a animal stalking its prey. he’s so mean but i love it?!

Yoshi - i find myself watching a lot of his compilations lately. i’m also trying to find a particular video where he’s getting his photo taken and (i just remember jeongwoo and junghwan being there) and they’re all like marvelling about how photogenic yoshinori is. which he is. he made me cry the other day with the letters from mum and i watched the reaction cam for ep 6.

Junkyu - juyoung, the younger brother in true beauty actually reminded me of junkyu in episode 13 (my flattie is watching the series) there’s quite a bit of words that he says that i really enjoy hearing him say? - i love the way he said cockroach in hello82 drawing game, some english words cause he actually pronounces them really well but with like a deepish accent?, love seeing and hearing him laugh.

Mashiho - again, he’s so good at everything. and he’s quiet about it as well. everytime he’s in shot he’s always just looking at someone fondly but never taking too much room or whatever. but when he gets in the zone and he just belts something out or laughs really loudly it’s always impactful in some way like whenever he does that my heart just grows for him.

Jaehyuk - he’s super affectionate and sweet. naww. like the way he acts with teumes and everything naww. like he leaves his traces for his fans to find and i think that’s so sweet. and he’s got a bit of a mean streak too i notice haha. he’s still super funny but also very supportive and tends to take care of the people who may be under the weather or not quite feeling the best which is a sort of person that everyone should appreciate.

Doyoung - the way he can just let go of himself to deliver some of his lines. him basically cry laughing at the secret santa type of video that treasure did is so cute. doyoung deserves every little cuddle and affection. he also kind of just readily accepts others and their strange quirks, and he’s got a sort of personality i’ve never really seen before and i think he’s super interesting.

Yedam - still really fucking talented. i also saw that he does tend to get emotional here and there but he’s honestly the cutest. THE SMILE AND THE LAUGH. There’s one particular video where I just can’t help but coo at him. But a truly beautiful person, I’m serious. I listened to Wayo to bed and I was in that state where I was awake but not really awake. Like I felt like I was meditating and it’s such a relaxing song. I love his voice.

Asahi - I’m so excited to talk about him you have no idea. I’m going through an Asahi spurt so~ But like he actually smiles quite a lot and he laughs a lot and it feels truly rewarding when he does. Like last time I talked about how he kind of intimidated me at the start but now he really doesn’t and I truly think he’s one of the members that instantly calms me down when I see him. Like, I want to have a proper conversation with him because idk I just get the vibe he’s definitely someone you should have a meaningful conversation with if you have the opportunity.

Jeongwoo - He’s not as loud as i thought he would be. I am in love with his voice. I watched a couple fansign videos just because and he does not know how to take compliments aye he gets like all embarrassed and all it’s so cute. I was also watching a TMI (??? I think) where it was like the boyfriend simulation and he didn’t know how to act. I find it so funny that he can be shameless at one point and another he’s all like embarrassed and bashful. It’s so cute. ‘I’m just an ugly citizen’ he says WHAT A JOKE. Him during that web drama though - he suits the character for sure.

Haruto - I find him harder to write this for, I don’t know why he was one of the easier ones to write for last time but I’m really struggling this time. But in general I love how he just exists. I know how it looks like a cop out but I promise you it’s not. His eyes and his hair first of all are so glittery and pretty and man I love his eyes so much. I also find it funny how most of the time he looks like he wants to go home but he always does things in the end and he’s not afraid to say anything. He kind of just adapts to the people around him which I find really cool. Like he’s not just a one dimensional character and it shows. (That was terrible, I’m sorry Haruto) 

Junghwan - That ‘different’ line in Boy. It’s so easy to distinguish it as Junghwan’s voice and idk it makes me really fond of him when I can hear him without seeing him. Like I’ll be on the bus or plane and hear him sing that line and like instant dopamine and serotonin. I want to say the exact same thing I said last time but he’s truly the sweetest and I want to see him smile in real life. I truly regard him as a little angel. His laugh too <3 it’s so dorky but I love him. I’m just too fond of this boy.  

Treasure - In general. I’ve been excited to write this segment all day and yet I’ve got nothing at the moment. I binge watched Treasure Map and no wonder I see a lot of people watching it. It’s so entertaining and every episode is quite different or like the same but with a little added extra. I’m so happy I stan Treasure now though, like truly happy. They’ve made me laugh and cry a lot already and it’s been a total of 2-3 weeks. But they’re all so lovely and I’m starting to really love them all. 

[mrsunderhill678]

Woops, I wrote again

"What a shame it is, ta recognize the fingers that pulled back the hammer. What a shame it is, when the man in the mirror's the one who shot the gun." - Darnell Bronko

"They tell ya heaven's in hiding and lead you to the edge of your sanity, whispering, "Jump, heaven sits at the bottom." And as you fucking fall, you begin to realize that angels never fell, they jumped and thought it paradise." - Jess Mercikal

"I'm a grave dug too early, digging up my own bones, always wondering why the different are damned whilst the powerful are celebrated for their indifference. But I guess that's just how it goes, huh? The boy who cries wolf is loved by the predator, for he falls easily into his maw. But as he begs for a savior, everyone passes the different boy by because "He asked for it." - Havio Bonecross

"There is no beauty more pure than the release of life, the gasp of the heretic soul whispering like smoke on the edge of the saint's holy knife." - Vareeth Gospel

"She was a delusion of the worst kind. Of the breathing, haunting kind that digs it's fingers into the recesses of your skull and crushes every thought, every memory with dream slathered hands. And she was the worst kind of evil that consumes, and consumes, and consumes until there's nothing left but the girl that was, but is no more." - Zacharia Von Shelrick

"My mind drifts back ta the days'a pain, and every time I see brokenness reflected in the eyes'a that old orphanage. And I can't help but think'a that little girl, chokin' on darkness and delusions before she ever had a chance ta live. And that's what pain does ta ya. It kills innocence and replaces it with himself." - Clayborne Pettygore

"In the eyes'a innocence decayed I met young evil, killin' a young girl from the inside out as if that old eightball had whispered she'd fall inta the darkness without a damn doubt. And every now and then, my darkness reminds me that in some ways, I'm just like that little girl. Dead too soon. Corrupted too young. A grave before I ever crawled." - Sampson O'Connel

"Some men get choice. Men like me get ta follow fate's river as it fuckin' sweeps em away." - Wyval Killsrift

"Son, I'd go inta the dark gently if I were you. Her teeth are sharp and she likes the kinda prey that fights back and dances on 'er tongue." - Wyval Killsrift

"I've got a knife in the back of my throat, and it coats my words in blood." - Wyval Killsrift

"Peel back my skin and tear me apart in search for redemption. In search for beauty. But all you'll find in the remains of my ribcage is a heart faded to black where all the red used to be. I'm a power lusting, sin starving, wretched beast, preying on his own flesh just to survive who he's become. But I like it that way. I always have. There are many forms of death that don't end in a funeral. A kind of death you can only see in the flickers of emotion in a cruel man's eye." - Totalis Sinsbad

"Evil wears many faces. But the evil I met, she wore only one." - Bob Smyke

"I don't think you ever really leave that first high. I was just young and dumb when I went on my first trip. I soared through the air on acid wings and smoke. My eyes spilling with tears that tasted like blood on my whiskey scarred tongue. And I'll never escape that memory. That addiction to the liminal. To the blurred edges of reality. I've grown so achingly tired of this body. I just want to fucking escape myself. And that's what my addiction gave me. But I the snake tongued devil, shaped like pills and needles never told me he'd carve small pieces of me off as I slept and dreamt of greater things." - Mieda Brushvaker

"Escaping reality's a deadly, thing. First, you tell yourself it's just this once. You'll never fucking do it again. And you keep telling yourself that. Before ya know it, people start leaving you because you're just a cocaine husk, bleeding from the tip of a heroin needle. I told myself I'd quit again, and again, but that shit changed me. And in some sinister fucking way, I'm always going to be a junkie, caught between this rift in reality. Cause I just ain't been me ever since white powdered fingers came for me in the dark and choked the reality from me." - Armano Sketer

"I wouldn't get in the habit of denying reality. It's a knife, my friend. And with every denial of it's existence, it sharpens. And it prepares to cut, slow." - Darwin Flowrick

"I'm a lustful, starving, crooked shadow. Feasting off of innocence. off of scars. Off of pieces of fragility and wicked divinity. Many call me a monster, but I'm human. Dreadfully human. And isn't that what makes their hearts run black? I am as human as they who damn me. I used to be just as innocent. But I came for myself, with teeth reddened by the slaughter, claws sharp and hungry for a young boy's innocence. And with pale, crooked eyes I desecrated my sense of self, and tore it apart piece, by delicious, starving piece." - Darwin Flowrick

"Redemption passed 'er by, and delusions came for 'er with feral, rotting teeth. If she ever knew innocence, it curled up in her chest and opened in her heart like a dyin' flower. Blackining. Decayin'. Dyin' before she ever had a chance ta fuckin' live. I once asked 'er "Why?" And all she ever did was smile and ask, "Why not?" And that's such a wicked kinda' evil. Such a relentless, fucked up kinda misery. And I always wondered, as she faded inta the night if she went home ta the darkness she'd always lived in." - Roan Scorpio

"Darkness beats in my chest, like a soft, quiet melody told by very few. They say it's forbidden. They say it's cursed. Dreadful. Deadly. But I like the way it resurrects me. The way it pulls my cracked bones back together. The way it stitches the flesh and sits, like blood on the tongue. I sway under the dying light of innocence, closing my eyes as I know, I've truly felt what it was, to die. And it came for me with pale fingers and crooked, bones. And I like the way it nips at my scars with reddened teeth and tells me this horror is beautiful." - Elzibith Varcoat

"There's a ghost in my head, and it whispers reasons for it to haunt me. You'll fall back, it says, you'll grasp at that sweet release just to escape from the mind numbing reality of who you are. And I always fight back in whimpers, and cries, and tears in the corners of my eyes. It's not so easy fighting a war when the enemy is yourself, and it's who you are on the frontlines. Armed with rifles full of addiction and needles, ready to prod. And tear. And chew away at me until I'm me no more. Just another drug bound, addiction fueled ghost." - Torva Allidaine

"Truthfully, I am not a human being. Humanity was ripped from me first from bullet hole fangs and gunpowder dripping tongues. And as I tried to scrap together what pieces of me I had, humanity was once more torn away from my bones. For pale fingers came in the dark and ripped, away. As if I was just another layer of skin hiding the bitter, rotten goods. So I do what I can with what little I have. I kill a bad man. I fire off another fucking bullet. Because that's all I am. A thing that goes bump in the bad thing's quiet darkness." - Amarillo Crocker

"Sometimes, I must confess, I begin to wish I could rip away at this skin. Like a sunburn beginning to peel. I have stood in this flesh for too long. This aching, heavy, crushing flesh. This is not me. It can't be. I want to fall, like Icarus from the sky. To let my wings and skin burn away with the heat of the sun. If only to reveal the woman hiding behind all this skin. This ugly, defiant, constricting skin. I am a cage. But I've always been a cage. too." - Valdosta Coffenbury

"Hungry, reminding fingers wrapped around my chest. Stealing the air from me. The comfort. The safety. It was always there. Always hungry. Always reminding me I'm not who I should be. Who I want, to be. It lives in the mirror, and the steam from the shower. It lives in my chest. In the edge of a shaving razor as I cut away at facial hair that never should've been there. It's suffocating, sometimes. But usually, it's quiet. In the back of my head. In the back of my chest. The back of the shower. Always there. Always hungry. Always reminding me of the face that isn't mine in the mirror. And that's what it feels like. Being somebody that isn't you. Never was. Never will be. Never again." - Valdosta Coffenbury

"I fell asleep, but it weren't so kind. I tossed, and I turned. I fell inta my first nightmare'a the night. I can remember the pitch black sky. His quiet anger that was so, loud. I couldn't speak. As if the terror, or the sorrow, or whatever the fuck it was sat in my throat, forcing my words back down like tears drippin' from my cheeks. I don't remember much'a the second nightmare. Just red. Everywhere. In my throat, in my words, bleedin' from my God damn eyes. But then I was awake in the twilight, wrapped in itchy blankets and cold sweat, wonderin' if I'd woken back inta my life, or stepped inta another fucked up piece'a me." - Ace Swinton

"My heart's a threadbare emotion, starving on the memories of my mother." - Rafaela Caesar

"I want to see the vulnerable side of you as I slink under the shadows of your bed, to listen to the way your breath breaks and mourns under the weight of a nightmare and dream divided. I want to see you broken as I hide in the shadows of your closet, to hear the secrets you whisper to torn sweaters and dresses you outgrew long ago. Eaten away by moths and woven into a spider's web. But most of all, perhaps, I want to taste the blood of your malice in my mouth as your anger nips at my tongue and tries to kill this man I am. You can never be rid of me, for I am the monster under your bed, who has killed all your shadows, and butchered all your light, wondering what you'd become on the edge of existence." - Darwin Flowrick

"Running my fingers against an old, worn out photograph, I come to realize my sister was a delicate hero to herself. There was a storm in her, a deadly, violent storm of anger and sadness. But when I look into those paper eyes, splashed with her sister's tears, I can't help but think I failed her in some way, as if I'd just tried a little harder, she wouldn't be this cold case in my heart." - Sun Morvosina

"Some sins are perhaps worse than murder, worse than lust, death, desire. And perhaps my mind lusts for the things that will damn it, shoving sins into it's maw and sucking at the heart until it's bone white. But the greatest sin of all, perhaps, is that I am me, and in some way, I always have been." - Melias Skinwalker

"My heart's a gentle, moss covered bomb, and every now and then, a fragile little emotion comes on by and pulls back the pin. Can you imagine that kind of deadly vulnerability to your darkness?" - Ben Stilts

"I dipped my pen in the blood of my identity, and word by word, I wrote my death." - Shilo Andrakall

"I'm gunpowder and pistol smoke rising after the murder of another man's conscience, and as the smell of death begins to brew in the puddles of red rain, I come to realize a soldier dies the moment he steps on the battlefield, and out from his heart claws a monster made of gunmetal sacrifice and howling intentions." - Halzio Vickmon

"Blood on the hands mares the vision of the revolution, dwindlin' it down ta nuthin' but murder. But rest assured, good will come'a this." - Cedric Popovici

"It's starting to feel like this world doesn't run off of what's right, but rather thrives off of what's profitable. We spill blood and we call it noble. We fire our rifles and call it a good cause with violent tendencies. Good, does not come for men like you and me. We died the moment we stepped into a revolution built on the backs of those who fought." - Havar Swanson

“I spent so long thinking something was wrong with me. Thinking that being who I am was wrong, and hateful. But as I learned to accept myself, and met a man in the shadows of the night, I came to realize hate convinces you love is just another afterthought of the foolish.” - Paige Newdelle

“Armello's a kind, soft, beautiful soul, loving me in all the colors we can see. And even some we can't, too. As he kisses me deep, and I run my fingers through his tangled hair, I know the lost can be found, even if it's in their own Neverland. Even if they have to find beauty in a Wonderland of our own.” - Paige Newdelle

“If I have to be somebody, I want to be somebody worth being.” - Camille Trueblood

“If I could, I'd wear all their scars for them. I'd let the darkness swallow me whole. For all my life, I've promised to be their mother, their hero, their best friend. When they're hurting, mama's always here to wrap em up in a big old hug and tell them everything'll be okay. And when they have secrets that dig into their hearts, they can always come to me and unburden themselves. I'll give them everything I never had. Because I lived in a loveless home, and I just want them to know though life can hurt, it can also be so, damn beautiful.” - Camille Trueblood

“In some way, my children are heroes to me, too. I was living a lonely life until I held my two baby girls in my arms. And slowly, more of my heroes came into my life and grew like seeds of love that just couldn't wait to blossom. I must be the luckiest woman alive, to have found such joy after the hurting. To find such love after my heart stopped beating.” - Camille Trueblood

“Truthfully, I'm not a masterpiece. But aren't I beautiful with these torn edges and faded colors?" - Camille Trueblood

“Scars can only exist so long as they're hidden.” - Camila Dillingo

“There's no greater misery, really. Then being surrounded in a field of hateful hands that poke and prod at your identity until you no longer feel like yourself past all those stains of mean spirited words and actions.” - Camila Dillingo

“I think family never ended with blood. It always started with the promise of loyalty, the promise of love that grows and changes with who we become.” - Camila Trueblood

“I know I'm just one voice in a crowd of shouts, but I always had this funny little idea that even just one person can change the world." - Camila Dillingo

“I often wonder who I would be if I was not me. And I often feel as if being a man I'm not would be kinder than being this man I am.” - Calliger Cougar

“I shook hands with a faceless devil, for he's worn a thousand different faces and a million different smiles, only to realize that truthfully, he can never be himself. Again and again he tells me he wants to wipe his slate clean, but his eyes are ever filled with immortal emotion. As are mine, as are mine.” - Calliger Cougar

“We're puppets dancing on nooses.” - Calliger Cougar

“My hands are stained in red emotion, my heart scarred the dirty color of emptiness, my eyes dripping with the tears other men couldn't bring themselves to shed.” - Calliger Cougar

“The world's grown tired now, and as it's eyes begin to close, and humanity reaches it's final hour, we should come to realize with the world's aching last breath, peace shall finally rise golden over the horizon. Humanity's become such a festering plague to themselves, and we're just waiting to rot away in bodies that aren't our own." - Calliger Cougar

“Life's become little more than an instinct, really. My heart beats because it always has, I breathe because that's what I've been doing all my life. I don't live because I want to. Because truthfully... I don't cherish my life.” - Burasbley Highersman

“I feel like a flower that's decayed, and people just take little pieces of my body away because they find beauty in the broken. But no light gets through my cracks.” - Burasbley Highersman

“I can still remember my mother's eyes, filled with ugly horror. And I can still remember all those nights spent in the dark, weeping because I wished this body wasn't mine. This scarred, bruised, fucked up body.” - Burasbley Highersman

“I've tried to escape myself in every way possible. I've touched the tips of death's fingers only to recoil at the feeling of her cold skin against mine. I've killed for substances that left me dreary and high, lost in a fucked up fantasy that I didn't earn. I can still remember the way cocaine tastes on my lip, the way the needle feels pressing against my bruised skin.” - Burasbley Highersman

“I'm like salt in coffee. Everyone always mistakes me for sugar, but recoil and hiss upon the tasting of me on their lip.” - Burasbley Highersman

“I'm just a heavy and cumbersome body carrying around bones that aren't even his.” - Burasbley Highersman

“People say we rise from our pain, but I was never a Phoenix, just a bird with broken wings that never learned how to fly.” - Burasbley Highersman

“Past dis hard shell, tiny cracks begin ta appear, cause dat's da life of a fighter. She swings 'er fists no matter da trouble dat comes 'er way. Dat's what life's about. My fathah taught me 'ow ta throw a fist at eight, I could throw my brothah outta the ring at ten. I've spent my whole life preparin' for the fight so that when it came 'round, I wouldn't be da one bloodied in the dirt.” - Ronda Blousey

“I've got black eyes and bloodied knuckles from all these wars I've waged.” - Ronda Blousey

“I'm a lioness, and my roar lives on the edge'a me bleedin' fist.” - Ronda Blousey

“The cruel, the damned and the monsters own this town in my heart. The inside of my ribcage is etched with old claws and gnashed, broken teeth. Because where all my memories used to hide, only scars now reside.” - Ellise Kivenstein

“Mark and my scars are all I've still got, because my heart beat's slow and only quickens in terror. Mark and I are feeble souls trying to make it to another day in each other's arms, but we feel so cold on each other's skin. We're lost, trying to find ourselves in each other, but I think that hope left us as our children became cold cases and became lost to an ever growing statistic that leaves wounds in the hearts of a parent.” - Ellise Kivenstein

“We're all just trying to gain some ground in the town of bastards and cheats, knowing even if we play the right cards, even if we roll double six or snake eyes, winning was never an option in a town of outlaws and sinners.” - Ellise Kivenstein

“I'm a cigarette tangled mess, skin etched with a mother's scars.” - Ellise Kivenstein

“I wish I remember what it was like. To be truly happy. But I suppose when you lose that big a piece of yourself, you'll never really feel complete. Because no matter how many part time substitutes you shove into that emptiness, it remains a blackhole, consuming everything else you thought you'd always have." - Ellise Kivenstein

“I've got pain in my heart where my mother used to be, and every now and then, I can still hear her ghost telling me no matter how far I fall, no matter how much pain I'm in, I'll always be her baby girl.” - Crescella Shroovet

“Truthfully, I'm playing Russian Roulette with my sorrow, wondering which of us will drop first. It's a dangerous game, fighting against your misery. Because the bastard cheats. I've learned to let go of the things that bring me pain. I can't climb a ladder of knives and blame myself for the way my palms bleed. I can't trudge up stairs of sticks and stones and blame myself for the way the soles of my feet begin to bloody.” - Crescella Shroovet

“My heart's a tapestry of my mother's words and loss, beating slow. Beating feeble. Beating truthful. I close my eyes and remember my mother's arms around me, and I tell myself, in a voice that sounds like hers', that everything'll be okay.” - Crescella Shroovet

“I woke up in a foreign land of ash and smoke, the remnants of my bridges burning in my nostrils and pulling tears from my eyes as I realize life gives no choice to the broken man.” - Asher Shroovet

“My mother used to tell me people are equal in the fact that they all have the choice to be good, but unequal in the choices they choose. But ever since my mother became a cold case in this heart of mine, I've begun to learn nothing ever changes. All but the weather and the nature of man.” - Asher Shroovet

“I used to be part of a silent crowd, anger sitting in my chest but never roaring. But I've learned silence is the kinda thing that kills, so with these scars in my voice, I let my roar be heard. Even if it's a little weathered. Even if it's a little broken.” - Asher Shroovet

“My sister and I are warriors of loss, mourning our angel's wings but knowing no warrior ever got to keep their halo. A hero is a man who fights with honor, sparing the bad man and the good man alike. A warrior is a man who does what needs to be done, giving no mercy to the cruel man because later down the line, another will die for the trigger you couldn't pull.” - Asher Shroovet

“I've learned pain's an immortal thing. Once you feel it, it never leaves you be. But it becomes easier and easier to live with as you grow, love and learn. We're all in pain. We're all hurting. It's what we do with that hurt that counts. It's who we become after the worst of it that makes us or breaks us." - Asher Shroovet

“My pain sits, like barbed wire under my shirt, bleeding me every time I move. Every time I sit. Every time I try to flee. My pain's in the gasps of my breath and the smoke that leaves my lungs. I'm a war of change and indifference, locked away in a barbed wire, human ribcage, wondering why my heart feels so locked up in the past.” - Bryan Jensen

“My memory's a thief in the night, stealing my joy. My safety. My sense of self. It rips into me, like a knife dragging thin white scars across my hurting mind and heart. Always reminding me that I'm not worth much past the words other people say. My scars whisper to me, begging me to add more to my collection. My traumas repeat, as if I'm under a roaring river, tumbling and breaking my bones on the stones of my fucked up memory.” - Bryan Jensen

“I stay alive, if only to protect her from my death.” - Bryan Jensen

“We were just two broken children in a fucked up home, hiding beneath dirty sheets and blankets. Wondering why love never found they who needed it the most.” - Bryan Jensen

“I can still hear the shouts of my father, the open palm of my mother. Their pain became my pain. Their words became my words. It was as if they were a fucked up religion, burying my sense of self underneath holy words and verses, bound in the righteous spine of a young boy's pain.” - Bryan Jensen

“I'm a grave bound shovel diggin' the holy their beds'a eternal slumber, made'a dirt and names forgotten by all but the fuckin' stone.” - Peter Scolifade

“Truth is, monstahs hide in da kindest'a men, and all it takes for that wicked bastard ta break outta his cage is one good reason. And friend, my monster found plenty'a reasons.” - Peter Scolifade

“Cold, deathly fingers wrapped around me chest, stained teeth bit down on my skin, opening red mouths in my scarred flesh. And as the monster within' tore through me, coverin' me in reasons ta die, I knew this was it. This is how saints fuckin' die.” - Peter Scolifade

“I grew up on an old dirt road with nuthin' ta call me own, lookin' for reasons ta live in the ink spilled sky. But brothah, all I found 'tween the stars were bullet shadows and gunpowder constellations whisperin' of the end'a old Saint Peter. And it was there, under the ol' night sky that Peter Scolifade died, and out from his corpse rose a man that looked like him. All but in those wicked eyes, cold and righteous with the promise'a grim ends ta come.” - Peter Scolifade

“I ripped through me sense'a self with a dead man's knife, partin' the red sea in my ribcage, barin' me black heart ta the shadows and monsters'a dis world. And as I fell back, a mess'a things that glisten red in da night and crimson that pools beneath dead men's feet, I knew I was no more than a murder, livin' on past 'is years as a ghost." - Peter Scolifade

“In my mind, it feels like two old friends have collided fist to fist and neither knows what they're fighting for.” - Brandall Mulligan

“Under lonely and begging colored bar lights, I met a devil, wrapped in desire and lust, and all the things that go bump in the night. She's cigarette smoke curling around a dead man's finger, whirring him back to life with empty promises and whispers of a grand becoming.” - Brandall Mulligan

“You know, a ghost of the gambling den once told me that the darkness is welcoming to those who don't fight it. And I'm starting to think he was right. Because the shadows look more forgiving then the light that burns like fire on my back.” - Brandall Mulligan

“I wouldn't take a bullet for me, so why should I expect anyone else to fight for me?” - Brandall Mulligan

“Bullets fall, like red rain down my ribcage, stainin' me heart the dirty color'a murder and whiskey bound misery.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“I was always broken knuckles and shattered windows, walkin' down an old dirt road, trustin' my revolver sooner than me old heart.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“I'm an outlaw of the old night sky, angel's fallin' through my scotch glass, devils clamberin' in the smoke'a my damn cigarette.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“My ma always told me the weak man's easy prey for the bullet, the lost sheep's an easy meal for the starvin' wolf. And oh son, you're beginnin' ta look a little lost, and I got some hunger on the edge'a my bleedin' tongue.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“We're all a silver coin away from a casket, we're all a cigarette away from a wildfire. Life don't care for the dead, but damn, it don't give much a damn bout the starvin' livin' neither.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“Dare ye whisper bout me sin, I'll make sure yer damned by Sunday mornin', beggin' the preacher ta forgive yer wicked misery.” - Ramsey Von Agamasteine

“The thing about people is, they can't heal in the place where they were first hurt. Before they find peace, they've gotta leave the origin'a the pain behind.” - Wilford Straw

“The way I see it, we're all warriors in our own regard, hearts bared on whatever kinda sleeve we got. Be it leather, denim, bare or tattooed. Our hearts are out in the open, and the truth becomes the water in which we feed and grow.” - Wilford Straw

“I once asked a powerful man with pain in the cracks'a his smile and blood on the edge'a his razor where his fall from grace began. And he told me with flickers'a sorrow in his eyes that it started with death. It always starts with death. And sadly, that's what some men think. They tell emselves their already dead, so they never git ta thinkin' they can live again.” - Wilford Straw

“After the rain comes the bloomin.” - Wilford Straw

“The day I was born life gave me a blade and threw me into a war before I ever had a chance to learn how to swing my sword. And so I earned bruises I never should've suffered through, and my back's etched with scars I didn't have the right to earn.” - Liv Creek

“I see pieces of our father lost in his eyes, the lies of our mother dancing on his tongue. He tells me this is how it has to be. This is who he has to be to survive. But survival isn't worth it if it kills who you are.” - Liv Creek

“I'm a scarred warrior wielding a rusted blade against her demons, knowing their deaths come too slow.” - Liv Creek

“I've learned the path to strength is paved in the pain of the weak. Through this path of my own broken bones I stumble, pain hanging like a sword on my lip, heart hardly beating as I choose to survive rather than live. Don't cheer for the warrior as she passes you by, don't thank her for her sins. Mourn for her as you would a grave, weep for her as you would a lost one. Because the warrior is the weak girl who had no choice but to be strong and defy who she was in the face of her pain.” - Liv Creek

“I grew up believin' in all the little things. Like magic, and fairytales, and love that would last. But my Wonderland was stolen from me by a mad man's bullet, and as I look inta the eyes of a man I used ta call brother. Used ta call family. All I see is a tickin' clock, whisperin' that my old heart's runnin' out of time with each strike'a midnight. Boomin' like thunder in my mind.” - Buster Beckem

“Ya know, I've found that I find no comfort in the idea'a the future. The past's warm and welcome, wrapped in the blankets'a my love and the red lipstick'a my lover smeared on my paint stained cheek. But the future stands cold, flecks'a snow promisin' I won't make it out the other side a man that's me. And as I leave this Wonderland'a my memories behind, I know I leave with a heavy and burdened heart.” - Buster Beckem

“This old heart'a mine used to bare it's wings with pride, soarin' over the clouds and touchin' the sun with the tips of it's fingers. But it fell like an angel, graspin' at everythin' that made it feel loved as it faded away inta the future's distant twilight.” - Buster Beckem

“I've been countin' days ever since my love was lost on me. I've been savin' every smile in parts'a myself I hide. But I can't measure the loss in me. I can't begin ta describe this bruise on my tongue where her love used ta reside. I close my eyes and I can still see her sippin' from a chipped coffee mug, hair frizzy and orange, hands stained in blue and pink paint. I always told 'er she was a masterpiece, even if she weren't perfect. Even if she made mistakes. And now, as I lie down in an empty bed, I begin ta wish it was her arms around me rather than these tear stained cheeks. I begin ta wish it was her hand on my shoulder rather than a crow perched like loss on my jacket. And I begin ta wish, as I curl this finger around a trigger, that it was her fingers curled inta mine." - Buster Beckem

“I'm the color that stains your lips as you take your own off mine. I'm the color of your heart as she dances her clawed fingers against your scarred skin. And I'm the color that trails your body as she stains you with her venom love. But I'm the color of your rage, too. The color that bleeds from between your knuckles as you grip the broken pieces of your love. The color that stains your tongue as she bites down on your lip. How beautiful, how deadly, how strange, that I can be anything you want to be, and everything you never knew you needed. While also being the very thing that rips your heart from your chest, my hands thick with the color of love, and anger and pure blood that tastes innocent on the siren's lip.” - Kaia Harzelburg

“Don't you know monsters look like people? Don't you know sinners look like saints and taste like beauty on a heathen's bleeding tongue? I was always a serpent, fingers trailing against the holy as I mark them with my lust filled brand. It's foolish, to fall in love with the serpent, but I've pressed my lips against the skin of Eve and the forbidden fruit tastes of me as she bites down on the feeble flesh of sin. Of forbidden desire. Of deadly lust.” - Kaia Harzelburg

“They say we're all sinners, damned before we were ever born, but I don't think of it that way. Sin is earned, just as sainthood is fought for. Just as good is taught, just as evil is learned.” - Bobby Sticcs

“On the edge'a death I met a boy with misery and shadows in 'is eyes, carved inta like he was just another sheep fed ta the wolves. Never did I see war break a man so young, never before 'ad I seen a man bite down on bullets and call em his fangs. But in the eyes'a that boy, it wasn't war I saw. But hell, flickerin' in the eyes of a mad man.” - Bobby Sticcs

“Some men march off ta war for honor, others find the monster inside as the bullets begin ta fly. But in some way, we're all ghosts and monsters'a the trenches, as if those dirt dug battlefields were our Eden, our rifles our flaming blades. The pools'a red in the rain our forbidden fruit. And I 'spose that made they who sent us off ta die our serpents, lies and forbidden truths flickerin' from behind their damn teeth.” - Bobby Sticcs

“We can't live behind the lines'a our enemies, expectin' them ta care when we throw our lives on the wire thin line.” - Bobbi Crazendale

“Family don't end with blood, it starts with love.” - Bobbi Crazendale

“I've got an old heart that hums and whirs ta life upon the tappin'a Vernon's fingers 'gainst my cheeks. He's my gentle lullaby, and every time he presses his lips 'gainst mine, my heart bursts with colors I'd hardly 'ave recognized if it weren't for this love we share. We love each other in colors that didn't exist, but whirred ta life as our hearts collided.” - Bobbi Crazendale

“I've been on a long, treacherous road, throwin' my fists at da 'eart'a darkness, wonderin' why it looked like me own.” - Billy Jenkins

“In da past I see eyes I used ta love, caught in da rift between gunpowdah and survival, drownin' undah da tide'a sin and love. Swept away by the hungry, starvin' need ta stay alive. I can still remembah runnin' undah da willow wif' her, swearin' I'd love 'er for da rest'a me days. But where 'er 'eart used ta reside in moine, now sits a hungry bullet, carved with a name I recognize and used ta press against me lips. But this bullet feels cold between me teeth.” - Billy Jenkins

“I'll face me future wif' a baseball bat and a grin built off all da things it took ta survive. And as me sister tells me I'm 'er hero, I know dat even if me bones are etched wif' love lost ta the edge of a bullet and da loss'a me heroes, I can do me best ta do good by her.” - Billy Jenkins

“Da broken man wif love all around 'im is blind to da beauty before 'im." - Billy Jenkins

“There's not much man can control, all but the words that tumble like devilry from his tongue.” - Beutler De Niro

“I'm a business man, and everywhere I go I see business in black hearts and lies that shake the soul.” - Beutler De Niro

“Many have described me as a monster, but I'm human, and that's what makes me so dreadfully horrific to all who witness my blood stained revelry.” - Beutler De Niro

“Do you know what lies do to man? They sit, like a guillotine's shadow over the good man's neck, slowly wilting away their sense of self like a rose decaying to black. And eventually, through the lies of cruelty, the good man dies, and from his corpse, the husk of a wolf begins to rise.” - Beutler De Niro

“Any man will pull the trigger if told it's for his own good. Anyone will sin under the light of anonymity. We're monsters beating in black hearts, convincing ourselves that in our deadly sin, that we're human. But we never were. We never will be. We haven't been human ever since Cane rose a stone against Abel, ever since Eve took a bite from the dead man's fruit.” - Beutler De Niro

“Don't mistake my kindness for the truth, my friend.” - Beutler De Niro

“I've seen misery in the form'a rusted hatchets and dusty black coats bitin' at the wind, but I ain't gonna let this murder'a crows be the damn death'a me.” - Dolly Rainbolt

“I'm a spurred boot outlaw, kickin' her way ta freedom as the bastard sons'a darkness open fire at the girl they just can't catch.” - Dolly Rainbolt

“Some folks think power's found in the edge of a revolver with a hammer pulled back. But ya could never fire power from a dead man's gun. Power always came in the form'a good people helpin' other good folks make it ta sunrise. Power's found in the good hearted, in the justice bound, in the heroes and do gooders'a this world.” - Dolly Rainbolt

“I refuse ta stand by as bad men get their kicks at the edge of a hatchet's malice.” - Dolly Rainbolt

“The sunrise waits for all who sit in the dark, and the stars shine for all those who are lost. No matter where you go, light always shimmers, preparin' to let ya back inta her gentle embrace once more. Don't dare lose yerself ta the delusion that redemption don't come for those who've hurt." - Dolly Rainbolt

“I've been a dead man walkin' ever since I first dug a grave, and under that shallow dirt, two men lie. Ol' Thomas Quisly and Margrave Ed'Collinmellow. And together, they rot, like shadows under the light's festerin' grave.” - Margrave Ed’Collinmellow

“Welcome ta the wastelands, where the weak become blood on the strong's teeth, and the strong stand above like a shadow'a survival and misery.” - Margrave Ed’Collinmellow

“Good luck tryin' ta kill this vessel'a rotted flesh and hollow heart. My humanity was ripped into by stained, yellow teeth. It pulled away at the flesh. At the mercy. At the goodness in me. Until nuthin' but a festerin' heart'a sins sat where Margrave Ed'Collinmellow used ta be. Shadow, and cruelty bit inta my heart and tasted the redness in me, stainin' their teeth with innocence and purity. Until all that ran through my veins was dark.” - Margrave Ed’Collinmellow

“The world's gone quiet these days, all but the moans'a hunger that come from the wax white graves'a man. And here I stand, just like the biters and creepers that shamble and bite.” - Margrave Ed’Collinmellow

“Ever since my mother was taken from me for the things she did to survive, I've been left out alone like a criminal amongst the dead and weary. I've spent my whole life fighting a war, just trying to survive. Just trying to get back to my mother. But fate tore us apart before it brought us together, and all I can do is clutch these memories and whisper, "I wish you were here." - Hazel Winchester

“On the dark and grimed streets I met insanity, reflected in yellow teeth and cold blue eyes. They called themselves the unforgivables, and as my death flashed in the silver of their knives, I knew why they could never be forgiven. They made a warrior out of me, but I won't thank them for these wolves' claws.” - Hazel Wincester

“I wish my mother was here to tell me how to survive. To wrap me up in her tattooed arms and tell me everything's going to be okay. But she's a broken piece in my memory, always bleeding me. Always reminding me that she's not here.” - Hazel Winchester

“Always reminding me that she's not here. I speak in the tongue of violence. My words have become steel clashing on steel. My song has become blood on innocent hands. And this language I speak has become teeth gnashing and biting at the good in me until all that remains is the survival, in me.” - Hazel Winchester

“I'm a lion lookin' ta the grey and empty sky, wonderin' why the only color I see is red.” - Bortley Dekruiful

“Dare not walk inta the shadow of the circus, where bad things are done in the dark and plastic teeth rip inta the hearts'a the frail and weary.” - Bortley Dekruiful

“Wherever I go, there's a siren callin' me name in strobe lights'a red and blue, tellin' me I'll be the last one standin' in a murder full'a crows. But here I sit, as the one beast I can't tame, my heart nocturnal, my ribs broken by the beast that rattles in my damn chest.” - Bortley Dekruiful

“Look deep inta the eyes'a those who preform and you'll begin ta find it's pain that drips from their tears. Our laughs are made'a glass and we're just the beasts taught how ta dance. There lies no beauty in this paradise, for Eden's been consumed by a serpent's maw, and the angel who swore ta protect lies silent in the belly'a the snake.” - Bortley Dekruiful

“Long ago I asked life what I'd become, and as I stared at a pool'a my own blood, all I could see was a red lion reflected in me pale and hungry eyes.” - Bortley Dekruiful

“Life is lived at it's best when it's simple. When it's beautiful in it's odd and whimsical mundane fantasies.” - Beckett Cruvell

“My thoughts and who I am just don't align, cause as things begin to change, my regret stays stagnant. And it claws at me, ripping through my throat as it says, "I wish you the best with me by your side." - Bartholomew Stiller

“I've spent my whole life wanting to bring justice to the cruel, to bring peace to the good. But as red and blue sirens blare in my head, coloring the smoke and fog the color of justice and division, I begin to realize I'm just a gunshot echoing between my own dead eyes.” - Bartholomew Stiller

“Who am I past this anger? Past these sins? Past the gunshot fired off in rage and bitter consequence?” - Bartholomew Stiller

“Some secrets are better left undug, but there I stood, shovel in hand, unaware it was a grave I dug for myself. And as I fell, clutching at roots and dirt, I came to realize looking for secrets in the dark is like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded chamber. And damn, man. I just pull that trigger.” - Bartholomew Stiller

“What a wonderful world it is, ink, rippling like blood in the water, stars blinking out as humanity whither and dies like a daffodil God forgot.” - Azralos Crossvine

“Do you wish to kill me? Good luck. Killing a man with such power is no easy task. For his words live on in the empty hearts of the men and women who stood so gleefully under his boot's shadow. My words live on like a growing weed in the garden of Eden, choking the life from the roses and leaving a bush of thorns behind. It's not so hard, killing a man with simple phrases such as, "You are saved," And, "In the eyes of God, you are forgiven." - Azralos Crossvine

“I've watched men put a gun against their temple and pull the trigger for the grace of God. I've watched people leap from cliffsides to appease the clouds and stars. I've got blood on my hands, and they are drenched in the kind of words that kill.” - Azralos Crossvine

“I was just a young and dumb shot in the dark, hurtling toward a target he didn't know shared his damn name.” - Avian Browdy

“I stare heavy into the empty eyes of fate, and with a broken claw, he carves bits and pieces of me away from myself, until I can hardly call myself human with these puzzle piece scars etched into my damn skin.” - Avian Browdy

“You know, an old friend once told me monsters look just like us. They share our eyes and pretend to be human, but when they smile, and the sun glints pale on their fangs, you best know to run head over heels to escape a fate of claws and reddened maw.” - Avian Browdy

“Peace don't live in the man mercy forgot but hate remembered.” - Avian Browdy

“Shadows exist as extant forms of us, and as regret claws at my throat, I know it left it's scarf behind in my life, only to come back for it years later and fashion it into a noose around my fucking throat." - Avian Browdy

“People break you down and cast their stones against you, just to say, "That's life, better get used to it before it kills you." But cruelty was never life, just death coming for the hurting souls early.” - Gabianna Santinos

“The cruel and hateful look for justification for what they've done, condemning they who they've hurt just to feel as if they're righteous in their cruelty, in their hate. But there was never any justification in hate, just the way our emotions bleed onto others. Like a red rain coming from the dark clouds of our misery.” - Gabianna Santinos

“You can't spend your life wasting away into emotions better left spoken. You've got to let the truth speak for you when your words can't.” - Gabianna Santinos

“Mistakes are what we learn from, they build who we are, but they also leave scars. Truthfully, I'm haunted by the things I've done and the people I've hurt. They sit in my mind like ghosts who just don't wanna leave me be, reminding me that worst parts of me are the ones running the show.” - Sam Wormwood

“She saw past the worst parts of me, and told me that she was here for all of me, not just shards and pieces of me. But these days, it feels as if I'm a wayward archer with an arrow that never flew. My arrows sit in my heart, like holes of loyalty and intention. I'm always bleeding. Because I've got blood on my hands and memories I wish I could forget.” - Sam Wormwood

“As I looked into the eyes of someone I called brother, and saw nothing but cruelty in his eyes, I realized who we're around influences who we are. And I'd become cruel in the search for brotherhood. But as he swung his fist, and I laid him in the dirt, it still felt as if karma would come for me with eyes I recognized.” - Sam Wormwood

“I have to wonder if that's an angel or regret lying on my shoulder.” - Sam Wormwood

“I was just a rough and bruised country girl lookin' for a fight 'til I met her. And all of a sudden, as she pressed her lips 'gainst mine and told me I was loved, it felt as if my bruises and scars were healin', fadin' away like stars as the sun gently wraps it's arms 'round the pale orange sky.” - Morice Bronzinheit

“We're all burdened souls, buildin' up our strength ta lift the weight'a the world. But we never realize that we don't oughta do it alone. Ya see, we git this idea that our burdens are ours ta carry, and ta have another help us lift that weight would be selfish. But those who love ya are always willin' ta stand by your side and relieve ya of the burdens that leave ya crippled, gaspin' for air in an empty heart.” - Morice Bronzinheit

“I'll never come ta understand why folk choose ta succumb ta rage and cruelty, but he who pulls the trigger ta end a life's no soldier. Just a killer dressed in noble intentions.” - Morice Bronzinheit

“Home ain't some place you can go. It's found in the eyes'a love, in the hearts'a family. It ain't where you're born, it's where you felt like you could truly live." - Morice Bronzinheit

“It seems his flickering smile follows me wherever I go, and when I look into my eyes, it's his I see.” - Pamvera Wendellburn

“Every now and then, my sorrow comes for me. There is no end, nor a beginning, just circles and circles of sorrow as I dance my way around the edge of misery.” - Pamvera Wendellburn

“I sit like a softly spoken sorrow at the bottom of my ribcage, weeds and black rot growing out from my promises, out from my lies, until I can hardly call myself a garden with all this decay in me.” - Pamvera Wendellburn

“Being who I am's such a lonely, quiet thing. It feels as if I'm cursed to this circle of sorrow and remembrance. And whiskey was always easier to swallow then the idea that I'd never return to myself. Easier to swallow then the tears, the grief, the anger.” - Pamvera Wendellburn

“All my life, I've been a bruised knuckled, broken glass kind of woman, anger running like blood through her veins, fist always curled back, jaw always clenched. Because life was a fight and I'd spent my days losing.” - Avarell Boneson

“I'm an angry serenade, followed by the slight echoes of peace. But as my daughter wraps a blanket around my scarred shoulders, and tells me I'm her hero, it feels as if I've always had a place in this world. And it's to protect that girl, full of spunk and curiosity for a world that don't leave girls like her be.” - Avarell Boneson

“I've always been a fighter, but what becomes of the warrior when she's no more battles left to fight? When she's no more reasons to throw her fists?” - Avarell Boneson

“I've lived my life in a violent blackout, and I've hardly been who I am. But as I hum my daughter another lullaby, and my sister tells me I'm her hero, it feels as if I'm falling together into a person that's me. I've been cold steel and wildfire smoke for too long. I just want to be the peaceful melody that lulls my anger to sleep. But my rage sits in my curled up fist, and as I clench my jaw and prepare for another battle, I know life's not through with this wounded warrior yet. So I put rage into the chamber of my revolver and let it fly." - Avarell Boneson

“You know, my brother used to tell me that he's met death a thousand times, and as the world began to fall, I began to wonder if it was all the ghosts he'd met, falling like angels from the wounded and burning sky.” - Ash Plucker

“I used to fight who I am, my knuckles bloodied from wars I never should've fought. Because hiding from yourself is such a strange, accepted kind of misery. But as I cut my hair and traded my dresses for a leather jacket and old, torn jeans, I felt like I was slowly beginning to become me. I'd always known I wasn't a girl, but I'd never wanted to be a man either. So I'll just exist, I'll be me, and that's all I ever really needed to be, huh?” - Ash Plucker

“Cruelty never had a place in this world. It echoes on the tips of bad men's tongues, justifying it's existence by claiming it's name is survival. But if you cast it's shawl aside, you'll soon realize blood for blood was always just cruelty in disguise.” - Ash Plucker

“I've spent my whole life trying to avoid this person I am, tripping over identities that weren't me, covering my face with paint to kill the scars that whisper the story of how the joyful girl died. I've got a heart made of cracked and fragile glass, and whenever someone dares whisper who I am, it crumbles into my stomach and I bleed on these pieces of my heart.” - Amorith Vesbly

“I've never known peace, all but when Heather touches a rough hand against my cheek and tells me I'm hers'. She loves me as I am, and just as the sun loves the moon, she's here for me in all my phases, loving whichever emotion chooses to rear it's head and bare it's teeth. If it weren't for her, I'd be long gone, drifting away into the empty just to avoid this person I am. But she makes this heart of mine a bit less lonely of a place to hide.” - Amorith Vesbly

“I wish I was a war cry, but I'm just a fragile whisper, and the only ones that can hear me are the ones that care enough to listen. To everyone else, I'm just a ghost sitting on the edge of her identity, as if she wanted to leap, but didn't have the courage to fall.” - Amorith Vesbly

“I swear, those I loved follow me like ghosts in the smoke, and just as I close my eyes and think I'm okay, I find myself fading away into memories too close to forget, but too far away to crawl back to.” - Amalda Greene

“I'm haunted by the heat on my skin, by the smoke and cinders in my lungs. My mind's becoming a grave, haunted by my memories ever drifting, and no matter where I go, I can't escape this ghost of who I've become. My mom would tell me to put it all behind me, put on a brave face and think of better days. But honestly? I don't think better days are coming.” - Amalda Greene

“Life ain't just some sorrow bloody repeated, it's every mistake ya made on the way ta success.” - Vinceta Dallifritz

“We're all questions ta ourselves until we earn da courage ta find da bloody answer.” - Vinceta Dallifritz

“Power, I've learned, makes inhuman monstahs outta 'umanity, moldin' the good like clay, wettin' it's hands in the blood'a da merciful until da peace is no more.” - Vinceta Dallifritz

“I once looked to da skies and asked for somebody ta shatter me so I could become somebody new. And out of these broken pieces, I built somebody worth bloody bein'.” - Vinceta Dallifritz

“Some people want to stick to lies, just as lies have stuck to them, but we can't really find peace if we're at constant war with the truth.” - Rust Ashena

“In truth, I'm not made of stone. My bones are fragile and easy to break, my emotions whir like glass in my head, and my hands are scarred with blood and broken nails. But I'm a soldier.” - Rust Ashena

“In all this war, in all this pain, I must at least remember, I've got people who fight for me. In my garden of black petaled roses and problems, a single rose stands, like a bloom of red I'll never come to understand. When Camallo pulls me into his embrace and tells me he'll never let go, I know that at least in his love, I'm safe. He holds me while I fall apart, threading my stitches back together as I begin to unravel. Often, I feel six foot under all this doubt, all this pain, all these scars, but Camallo's always there, shovel in hand, ready to dig away at the mourning man's grave.” - Rust Ashena

“On the edge of the horizon, I see a silver lining, and I start to believe it looks like his smile, like the way his fingers curl into mine, like the way he looks at my scars as if they were a beautiful tattoo telling the story of the way I died and was born again.” - Rust Ashena

“I was just an x value I couldn't understand, trying to catch my answers in the wind as lies drifted on by. But it feels like, when Melania took my hand in hers' and told me she loved me for the very first time, I'd finally found the answer to who I wanted to be. When she pressed her lips against mine, everything began to fall into place, every question became an answer, all the unknown became known, as if my heart had always known what it needed.” - Glorice Shaywalker

“It's not the bruises that matter, or the scars, but how we let them heal.” - Glorice Shaywalker

“I'll always remember the way the gunfire echoes and ripples, as if it was a stone skipping across a lake of all the lives it would touch.” - Nyla Riverbrook

“I heard once, that she who fights for the world is very rarely fought for, and as I struggle to get to my feet, I've come to learn no one's fighting for me, and it's my own feeble fists I must raise.” - Nyla Riverbrook

“My ribs are etched with what it took to survive, my tongue wet with the blood that fills my mouth when I bite down on my tongue to keep these emotions in my skull.” - Nyla Riverbrook

“My body's a battlefield, and my heart beat sounds like a bullet casing hitting against the crimson river.” - Nyla Riverbrook

“A man I look up to once told me that we're not strong, just broken, trying to carry the weight of the world with two human hands. And as my sister looks at me, swearing up and down I'm her hero, I begin to realize heroes exist only in the eyes of those who haven't tasted war on the edge of their tongue.” - Nyla Riverbrook

“I used to be a question to the world, lost in doubt and visions of who I could be. But as I embraced myself, and found my answer hidden deep in my little beating heart, I knew this is who I was meant to be. People ask us to change while they stay the same, lost in ignorance and hate until it becomes the air in their lungs and the tears in their eyes.” - Amanda Blaze

“I was lost, stumbling in the dark, until the light of my identity flashed like a torch in the horizon. It was only for a moment, like a whisper, but it was enough for me to follow the memory of the warmth and light I felt when I was accepted as I am.” - Amanda Blaze

“Love lives in all of us like a seed, and we're just waiting for someone to come along, not afraid to get their hands dirty as they dig through our identity and scars with loving, gentle human fingers.” - Amanda Blaze

"I watched all my friends become strangers, and I'm just sitting here in their shadow wondering why I couldn't save them from the darker side of life. But I guess monsters always look at us with eyes we sadly recognize." - Jess Mercikal

“We're all looking for someone who makes us feel safe and comfortable in who we are, and when I look into my daughter's eyes, and I feel my wife's hands on my cheeks, I know I've found my safety. And I'll never find myself falling without knowing I'll survive the landing.” - Alicia Winnefred

“Life can seem so complicated, but all it takes to live is a few simple things that make you, you.” - Alicia Winnefred

“Some people say we die much before we ever live, but if you've done it right, than as you lay down for your final rest, you'll have lived, and lived, and lived, and in some odd, beautiful little essence, you'll never die. Because flowers will bloom on your grave, and that's where you'll sit, like a smile that never forgot the sorrow that made it shine so bright." - Alicia Winnefred

“I am a lie so often told, and in the pen of sheep I sit, draped in white wool with dapples of red, waiting for the opportunity to rip my teeth through the feeble skin of truth.” - Akolzo Cometsphire

“My heart never beat, my mind never felt. The rare times I did, feel, was in the emotion that rippled in a dying man's eyes.” - Akolzo Cometsphire

“The sheep is easily fooled into thinking he's safe, because so often wolves wear wool on their backs and kindness in their smiles, hiding the blood behind their fangs and murder behind a handshake.” - Akolzo Cometsphire

“I'm just a little spider, spinning his web and watching in glee as the fly finds himself caught, struggling and festering like murder flashed on the newspaper headline's. With hungry fangs and blood filled eyes, I descend on the weary fools caught in my web of lies, sinking my teeth into their skin and ripping scars into their minds as I taste them, like a tragedy on my lips.” - Akolzo Cometsphire

“My friend, gaze to the midnight sky and tell me what you see. Stars, twinkling with wishes, or specters of something that was once beautiful, shining in the dark like a grave marked with a corpse instead of stone? And then, I want you to look into my eyes, and tell me what the night sky means to a man who spills blood as if it were ink on a page, spilling into poetry and prose. I'm a vessel through which murder and lies see. Nothing more." - Akolzo Cometsphire

"Mercy is a fool's game for a cruel man." - Bovine Thukkit

"The most fearful foe of all is the one that haunts you with a long dead friend's smile." - Maxmillius Sharonbew

"Boy, you think that was death? You ain't met death 'til ya've felt her fragile, cold fingers on the edges'a your back and spine. You ain't met death until she stares back atcha with cracked glass eyes as ya look inta the old mirra. Death, Martin fucking Hatcherfly, tasted like barbed wire, bitin' down on a thirsty tongue." - Apollo Dreadful

"My anger claws at me feral, like a woman raised by wolves. Biting, clawing, scratching at the corners of my heart and skull, as if her teeth were made to kill and her claws were made of steel. And there's somethin' so temptin' about the beauty of the anger that lost it's peace in the gentle maw of wolves." - Kurizo Chandlewick

"The dark came in quiet whispers and deadly screams, as if the sky had ripped into itself, thrashin' and howlin' with the light of a thousand dyin' dreams. And that's what his shadow looks like. Them wolves are lightnin' strikes in our sky, and he's just the heavy clouds full with rain and thunder." - Miallo Strawburry

[neriad13]

Favorite Media of 2020!

There was a large swathe of this year during which I was unable to concentrate on reading (as there probably was for a lot of other typically-frequent readers), so, as a result, I ended up listening to way more podcasts and watching way more TV shows. Not a bad thing, but boy did I read way less books than usual. 

However, for the first time in a while, the amount of fiction I read was about equal with the amount of nonfiction I read. Last year’s reading resolution was to read more fiction, so...success??

I did read a lot of phenomenal fiction when I had the energy to do so this year.

Books - Fiction

The Martian - Andy Weir

This book is the hardest of the hard sci fi I think I’ve ever read. Every single aspect of it is minutely researched and calculated. The author literally wrote equations to write this book. The science is insanely impressive and yet...it never loses its sense of humor or humanity in the mix. In fact, they’re the thing that drives the entire story.

Warlock Holmes - G. S. Denning

Way early in the year I was strolling down the fantasy aisle at the library, when this cover caught my eye. I took one look at it, went “oh, this looks silly” and...proceeded to devour the entire series in a matter of weeks. 

It is very silly. Especially when it’s pointing out something that was silly in the original. There’s something so satisfying about Watson immediately answering Holmes with the correct number of steps in their flat when he’s trying to make his point about how most people don’t pay attention to things like that.

World War Z - Max Brooks

Every single scenario in here could easily support an entire book. A park ranger whose job it is to contain the yearly zombie spring thaw? HECK YES. I’d read tens of thousands of words about that. A Chinese admiral who defaults, steals the government’s premier submarine, loads it up with the families of his underlings and takes to the sea for years to live in the maritime economy that has sprung up in a world where everyone is trying to escape the shore? That could be an entire movie on its own. 

Every chapter was more creative than the last and as a huge worldbuilding fan, this book was so, so fun.

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

In which a queer, neurodivergent protagonist solves a mystery on a spaceship which is a microcosm of antebellum era politics! This had a beautiful, mysterious, wonder-inducing writing style and it was a joy to peer into the wildly differing minds of every single character.

Books - Nonfiction

Underland - Robert MacFarlane

In every chapter, the author visits a different hole. Basically.

It’s an exploration of caves, catacombs, mines, nuclear waste facilities and the hidden underbelly of every forest. It was fascinating. And fundamentally changed how I look at time.

Rejected Princesses - Jason Porath

After years of having enjoyed the web entries, I finally got my hands on the first book and was not disappointed. 

There are the more entertaining entries, of course and the art is as charming as always, but what struck me the most were the more difficult stories. The deeper you go into this book, the more horrific it gets. The author does not hold back on the indignities suffered by the historical figures he writes about. It’s terrible...but also very, very illuminating.

The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker

This book - while maintaining all the essential information in it - could be pared down to one sentence in a sea of blank pages and that sentence would be: trust your instincts. End of story.

But in a world where instincts are either customarily suppressed or going haywire, it’s not quite that easy, which is why I’m glad there is more to the book.

I picked it up thinking “ha ha, betcha can’t help a person with anxiety who fears all the time already” and...what it actually ended up doing was giving me the tools to differentiate between real fear and unfounded fear. And did help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Fanfiction

Watch Over Me - cakeisatruth

A Bioshock fic from the point of view of a little sister who is learning how to trust and be an ordinary child again. Dark and sweet. An excellent combo.

All That is Visible - Ultima_Thule

An exploration of a minor character in a well researched historical context? That’s my jam! How did they know?? A Tron fic about what it’s like to be a female programmer in the 70s.

Graphic Novels

The Adventure Zone - McElroys + Carey Pietsch

Yesssssssss! It was a running-to-the-library type event whenever my library got a new volume in. The jokes are so good, the art is so lively and the ways in which they added the details that the podcast couldn’t necessarily get across is *mwah*

Trail of Blood - Shuuzou Oshimi

Hoooooooly shit, the art style of this one!! It’s beautifully detailed and expressive, sure, but the real draw for me was how it changes with the emotional state of the main character. There’s this sequence in which he’s consumed with anxiety at school and all of his classmates become blurry and unfocused, until they can’t be recognized as humans at all, that particularly sticks with me.

It’s a horror story about a kid who witnesses his loving mother push his cousin off a cliff for seemingly no reason and is then obligated by her to keep the secret, which is eating him from the inside out. It’s so good, guys, please read it.

Level Up - Gene Lien Yang/Thien Pham

A story about a kid who is haunted by his late father’s desire for him to become a gastroenterologist. It’s funny and touching and the ending gave me what I can only describe as a feeling of exhilaration. Y’know that feeling when something unexpected but not out of left field, perfectly in tune with the narrative arc and gut bustingly funny happens, all in the same panel? That one.

Film

Searching

This is a fairly standard thriller about a dad trying to find out what happened to his missing daughter. It’s also found footage...but not in the usual way, which was what made it so compelling to me. It’s told through the dad’s phone calls, google searches, social media interactions, news footage, security cameras and webcams. It was such a cool way to tell a story.

Train to Busan

There’s a lot that’s already been said about this movie and I don’t think there’s much more I can meaningfully add to that. Suffice to say that ya gotta take care of each other if you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse!!

TV Series

My Brother’s Husband

As close to a perfect adaptation as a person can get (barring the entire conversation in English which was...oof). I was so happy when they took it a step further and showed Kana and Yaichi actually getting to meet Mike’s family.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

I watched a lot of baking shows this year. Like...a lot. They were my much-needed comfort viewing for the year and this one was my favorite, even over The Great British Baking Show (which I LOVE). Why? Because the pastry chef for whom it’s named makes such bizarre and wonderful desserts and fosters an environment in which the competitors do the same. I’ve never seen anything like a lot of the desserts that make an appearance on this show. Every single episode was an awesome surprise and so help me, this show had better get a third season.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power

There’s also a lot that’s been said about this one, so I won’t say much more. Suffice to say: DAMN. That’s how you do an 80s toy tie-in cartoon remake.

Infinity Train

This show’s premise is probably the most unique I’ve seen in recent years. Its balance of comedy, horror and existential dread is also *mwah* I also love how much it trusts the viewer to figure things out on their own.

Primal

A late entry sliding in before the year ends! I finally got to watch the second half of the first season last weekend and it was EXCELLENT. The pacing, the brutal fight scenes, the adorable dinosaur antics, the animation, the quiet moments - *mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah*

The most emotional moment for me was the part in which the protagonists watch, with sorrow, as the rabid dinosaur who’s been trying to kill them all night dies an excruciating death.

Also it sets up a fascinating new plotline right before ending in a cliffhanger!! Another one for the ‘had better get a next season’ list.

Games

Night in the Woods

This is one that’s been on my to play list for a few years and I was so glad I finally got my hands on it. It’s like...The Millennial Experience (TM), the game. I felt so seen, playing it. The character writing was fantastic.

Prey

I don’t know why I put off finishing this for so long. I guess I wasn’t in the right alien killing headspace for a while?? Anyway, the setting is gorgeous, the alien biology is weird and cool, the ethics are delightfully murky and the interconnectedness of the station was really cool, especially in the OH SHIT moments at the end. 

Podcasts

The Adventure Zone

I tried to narrow this down to one favorite arc, but found that I couldn’t do it. I love Balance for its comedy and creative energy. I love Amnesty for its drama and acting. I am loving Graduation for the depth of its world and the way in which the real story behind everything that’s happened is slowly unfurling. It’s a good podcast all around.  

The Magnus Archives

Who obsessively listened to every single season while playing Minecraft in about a month? Surely not me, nooooo. Of course not.

There’s also been a lot said on this one, so I’ll keep it brief. I’ve seen things in here that I haven’t really seen elsewhere in horror. My particular favorites were the creepy psychiatric hospital in which the horror comes not from the patients, but from the denial of the doctor to believe them about their mental illnesses and every single thing related to the Anthropocene. The one with the Amazonian village made out of trash - CHILLS.

[snowbreeze64]

i call this one: proof i’m going insane

anyways here’s a list of all times webs/and or spiders have been mentioned in 167 episodes of the magnus archives bc i haven’t listened to 168 yet.

spoilers through tma episode 167 because, yeah

UP TO DATE THROUGH EPISODE 167

CONFIRMED WEBISODES (Rusty Quill Youtube Playlist)

#8 Burned Out *

#16 Arachnophobia

#56 Children of the Night

#59 Recluse *

#67 Burning Desire *

#69 (nice) Thought for the Day

#81 A Guest For Mr. Spider

#100 I Guess You Had To Be There

#110 Creature Feature

#114 Cracked Foundation *

#123 Web Development

#136 The Puppeteer

#147 The Weaver

#167 Curiosity

* = Hill Top Road Related

And now, to channel my S2 Jon energy, which is also just BDG

ALL MENTIONS OF SPIDERS AND/OR WEBS IN NON-WEBISODES

#3 Across the Street - the Table is introduced

#9 A Father’s Love - “As far as I was concerned, the sturdy wooden structure was just the home of spiders’ nests and the rusted garden tools my parents would use once a year to attack the overgrown wilderness that was our back garden.” (Julia Montauk about their shed)

#11 Dreamer - “Looking down I could see a web of dark tendrils criss-crossing the streets and crawling up the buildings.” (Oliver Banks about the death tendril things)

#12 First Aid - Hill Top Road relation (Diego Molina)

#19 Confession/#20 Desecrated Host - Hill Top Road related

#22 Colony - Martin investigates Carlos Vittery’s house, finds lots of spiderwebs.

#32 Hive - “Was it the spiders? There were webs in the corners, around the entryway into the attic. I would watch them scurry and disappear in between the wooden boards. ‘Where are you going, little spiders?’ I would think. ‘What are you seeing in the dark? Is it food? Prey? Predators?’ I wondered if it was the spiders that made the gentle buzzing song. It was not. Webs have a song as well, of course, but it is not the song of the hive.” (Jane Prentiss)

#35 Old Passages - “I have the vaguest memories: flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb…” (Harold Silvana about the tunnels)

#36 Taken Ill - “Just a sort of spider web design on the front.” (Jon about his lighter)

#37 Burnt Offering - Hill Top Road related

#38 Lost and Found - Jon attacks a spider and somehow makes a hole in the wall, and now there are worms

#39 Infestation - “No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think.” (Martin)

#40 Human Remains - “Yes. She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room. No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse.” (Martin about Gertrude’s corpse) (Does the sudden absence of spiders count as spiders?)

#43 Section 31 - “The most I could get out of her was that she was originally sectioned for something she referred to as “spider husks”.” (Basira about Daisy getting sectioned)

#44 Tightrope - “Why did she begin recording them? And why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would’ve likely gotten through much of the archive, and… moreover I wouldn’t have had to find this tape player tucked away in the storage room, covered in dust and cobwebs.” (Jon about the tape player) (it’s covered in cobwebs! Suspicious! What do you mean old things get covered in cobwebs naturally?)

#46 Literary Heights - “I did go down there to see if I could find anything, but it seems much as it did last time. The only difference now is… all the spiderwebs. They seem to have spread down there. I think I saw some of the larger specimens actually eating the remains of the worms.” (Jon about the tunnels under the archives)

#51 High Pressure - “No… No, it isn’t. I’ve always seen it more like a web?” (Not!Sasha about the Table)

#63 The End of the Tunnel - “We’ve had something of a spectrum from him and his ilk: cobwebs entombing, difficulty in navigation, and now a violent, murderous dark.” (Jon about Robert Smirke)

#65 Binary - “Statement of Tessa Winters, regarding a strange computer program she downloaded from the Deep Web three months ago.” (What? It’s a web!)

#67 Burning Desire - “I looked up and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke.” and “Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundreds of tiny spiders.” (Jack Barnabas about his date with Agnes and the people in front of her flat) (this was already listed in webisodes but i just thought it was interesting)

#68 The Tale of a Field Hospital - “There were a couple of spiders, so I changed routes and found, I think it’s a gas main.” (Jon about exploring the tunnels) (also that gas main *eyes eyes eyes*)

#78 Distant Cousin - “Wrapped around it were thick strands of what I think was spider’s web, stretching back into the table, which I now saw pulsed along its carved channels with a sickly light.” (Laurence Moore about Adelard Dekker trapping the Not!Them in the table) and “Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.” (Jon, breaking the table)

#79 Hide and Seek - “Of course the table was binding it. The table is webs and spiders. Spiders are something else. They don’t help each other, they oppose, they… they weaken. It was caught in a web, and I…” (Jon about the table...and perhaps Beholding something about the entities?)

#87 The Uncanny Valley - Jude Perry working with the Stranger, so Hill Top Road related?

#89 Twice as Bright - Statement of Jude Perry, Hill Top Road related

#90 Body Builder - “As you’d expect, most of the listings just pointed me towards the their websites, but I spotted a small, square ad box in the lower left corner.” (Ross Davenport, about finding his new gym) (yes i KNOW this is a stretch but the word website has the word web in it so…)

#91 The Coming Storm - “One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.” (Daisy going through Jon’s stuff)

#111 Family Business - Jon and Gerry discuss the entities, including the Web

#112 Thrill of the Chase - “We all met through one of those meetup websites, I-I forget which one.” (Lisa Carmel, about Murder Club) (listen it’s a WEBSITE so it has the word WEB in it and besides THE SPIDERS CONTROL THE WORLD WIDE WEB)

#114 Cracked Foundation - “It was warmer down there, warmer every step, and I found myself brushing cobwebs from my face as I got further down, until at last there I was - stood in the cellar of Hill Top Road.” (Anya Villette about Hill Top Road)

#117 Testament - “I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good leaving my own little web. Oh, oh, Christ, I hope John doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, John, it’s an expression, chill out!” (Martin about his plan.) (also, I’ve been called out by Martin.)

#118 The Masquerade - “DAISY: Shut. Up. It’s just cobwebs. ARCHIVIST: There’s no such thing as just cobwebs.” (Jon walking into some cobwebs while planting C4) (also he’s RIGHT, DAISY)

#121 Far Away - “Just a second of them webbed over the face of a drunk old man stumbling into his car.” (Oliver about seeing the death tendrils in the waking world) and “Honestly, I’m still not exactly sure why I’m here. But you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what she asks.” (Oliver about why he’s visiting Jon)

#135 Civilian Casualties - “In the last week I’ve seen two different people wearing symbols for the People’s Church of the Divine Host, and it’s rare I go anywhere without cobwebs, anymore.” (Jon about the Institute being watched)

#128 Heavy Goods - “We had some luggage, once, a thrumming silk-wrapped thing of the spider, hiding away in an old steamer trunk.” and “The Spider’s always an easy job, no fuss, no complications, everything planned and prepared. It knows too much to truly be a stranger, but hides its knowing well enough to endure.” (Breekon about his and Hope’s deliveries)

#130 Meat - “I found this tape tucked in a corner of my desk drawer (sigh) covered in cobwebs. I suppose subtlety has gone out the window a bit, and the question is now simply… how much I trust the Spider to have my best interests at heart.” (Jon about the statement he just played. Also the Spider giving him the idea to use a flesh-anchor???)

#134 Time of Revelation - “There are two powers that, to my knowledge, have never attempted to fully manifest. Never had followers set them up for a ritual. Mother of Puppets, and Terminus. The Web and the End. The Web, I’ve never really been sure about. If I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is: playing everyone against each other. And so on.” (Peter Lukas about the entities)

#137 Nemesis - “Still, the anticlimax is fascinating. I can only assume they were supposed to be bombed at the height of the ritual - maybe by Japanese aircraft, maybe Allied, maybe both. I wonder what stopped it. A Japanese radar filled with spiderwebs, a US destroyer finding itself suddenly alone in the open ocean? Heh. We’ll probably never know.” (Gertrude about the Slaughter’s failed dance party)

#139 Chosen - Statement about Agnes, Hill Top Road related

#145 Infectious Doubts - “Ah. That’s a fair enough question. It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations.” (Gertrude about the ritual binding her and Agnes)

#146 Threshold - “There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of - whatever it is that the Spider is spinning.” (Helen about Hill Top Road) and “What a delightful thought. (short pause) I don’t believe so, no. But the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why?” (Helen about being controlled by the web to eat Marcus McKenzie (door guy)) Also throughout this episode Jon is wondering whether Annabelle is controlling him

#148 Extended Surveillance - “Or that we were being stalked by some freaky spider woman? Don’t tell me you didn’t know about that.” (Basira while beating up Elias) “Look, look - I’ve been doing this a long time now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Web, it’s that it plays its own game. All you can really do is hope it doesn’t get in the way of whatever your plan is. Because the Spider usually wins.” (Elias about the Web)

#150 Cul-de-Sac - “The Lonely is possibly the most insidious of the powers, I believe. Certainly it is the one that most delights and having you do its work for it, even the spiders seem to have a hard time matching it for sheer seductiveness.” (Jon about the Lonely). Also during this episode he and Melanie argue about whether her therapist is Web.

#157 Rotten Core - “Or Annabelle Cane is trying to manipulate me into thinking it’s one of the other scenarios. Previously, the spiders have made their presence clear when they’ve sent me… hints… but I can’t take that for granted.” (Jon about the Adelard statement left on his desk) (hey wait a minute if the statements refuse to record digitally how did Adelard send his on an e-mail-)

#160 The Eye Opens - “I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but My God, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as some sort of implicit blessing on the whole project, and, do you know what, I think it was.” (Douchard about Jon)

#163 In the Trenches - Annabelle calls Martin, Martin doesn’t pick up

#164 The Sick Village - “That’s - weird; I - I know the Web was wrapped around that phone, but, but I can’t - see her. A, At all.” (Jon about Annabelle)

#166 The Worms - Annabelle calls Martin to neg him over the phone.

Why did I spend over an hour doing this? Hell if I know. Am I any closer to finding out what the spiders want? Nope. So they’ve been helping Jon figure stuff out and got him appointed to the Institute in the first place, presumably so Elias would carry out his ritual, but why if they’ve never attempted a ritual before? They can’t be happy being ruled over by the Eye. What does Annabelle want with Martin? What the hell is going on at Hill Top Road?? WHAT IS UP WITH JON’S LIGHTER?????

[justjessame]

Babysitting Butcher Chapter 32

Life as a human guinea pig is a strange thing. First of all, there's the questions. The same questions over and over, to the point where the machines and medical doodads and the noise that became almost normal for me, but the questions became the irritant of the day.

"How are you feeling today, Dr. Taylor?" As I'd squint into the bright light being forced into my marrow it seemed. A muttered reply from me, and honestly the same answer in varying degrees of annoyance or acceptance depending upon the day and how many times I'd been asked it so far. "Uh huh, and are you feeling warm? Is there tenderness in your abdomen?" While they poked and prodded, testing skin, muscle, bone and eventually blood.

Did you know the average human adult has around 1.2-1.5 gallons of blood which equals roughly 10 units? I know this because I wanted to be certain that I'd have enough after all the blood testing. Research would either be the way I kept sane or what finally pushed me over the ledge into complete madness, mark my words.

Billy visited, as often as he could, and every single time he'd greet the head poker in residence with his own version of the repeated question game. "How is she? What's the bloody progress?" At which I would inevitably check the arm that seemed to be their favorite vessel for bloodletting. "How much longer?" And then he'd meet my gaze and focus his attention on ME, rather than on my medical condition.

Yes, I was calling it a condition. If I let the reality of my situation fully grip me, then I'd scream. And I had moments of it, trust me.

How would you feel if every single time the man you loved walked in and spoke about your person as though you were a petri dish experiment before reminding himself, through sheer force of finally SEEING you, that you were in fact the woman he loved?

Now take that feeling you just got from that scenario and add the annoyingly taunting voice of the caped asshole who caused this whole fucking irritating bullshit situation reminding you that you fell in love with a man for whom hatred of supes is as natural as inhaling. Feeling just a hint of discomfort? Just add the sound of beeping, buzzing, and dripping to remind yourself of the fact that this was all happening while I was being held hostage as a "let's see what happens if we try this mixture to counteract the demon juice flowing through her veins" was tried over and over.

Strained. My nerves, body, and brain felt strained. Even after the feeding tube was gone and Billy could kiss me. Even after I was given the go ahead to work from my hospital bed. Frayed would be a kind way to say how absolutely on edge I felt.

And the worse part? I felt like I was missing something. Something important. Something paramount. Just out of reach and as though, even surrounded by my laptop and notes, something that was keeping me out of an important loop.

The longer that I stayed in the 'undisclosed medical' location, the more that I wanted to be anywhere else in the world. Literally anywhere. I started to yearn for Bolivia and the Black Ops team that had gotten caught up in the web of a rogue agent and 'died' implicated in a massive fuck up of epic proportions.

When a rational woman who knows how the inner workings of other people's brains and behavior follow reliable patterns starts thinking fondly of the heat of a tropical place where she had to wade through more red tape than most people would assume humanly possible to unravel the truth, all while hearing the type of rumors about the men she was trying to clear and resurrect from faked death, then shit has hit epic levels of horrible. It did remind me to contact that team to see how their return to their former lives had worked out, and wonder if their leader had gotten over his own tragic ability to attract murderous women.

I wanted to go further than the small courtyard deemed safe enough for me to explore, and near enough to make them taking me off the dialysis machine after another fun round of 'clean her blood again' reasonable. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and watch television at my discretion without interruptions for another round of the questions and poking I wanted, in short, to be back to normal already.

I might have been empathizing with Billy's urge for the Vought wankers (his word, I swear) to find the magic solution so life could go back to the routine we both wanted a return to. Or I might have been trying to only see the positive outcome, since there was a creeping feeling that maybe, just maybe there wasn't an easy fix or a fix at all.

A month passed, with my cabin fever slowly increasing by the day, and with it my internal and external temperatures. Oh yeah, that's right, I might have forgotten to mention that while the steaming was at bay, now it was just my actual body temperature that would fluctuate and freak every single fucking person all the way out. When Billy said I nearly went "nuclear" he hadn't been joking, apparently I could have fucking exploded like a goddamn human time bomb and I didn't want to consider just how fucking messy that would have been for the janitorial staff.

Finally, maybe because I wanted some type of control about the questioning, I started asking some probing ones of my own. And what I found, when they would meet my eyes and answer me as fully as I wanted, was that that creeping feeling was growing more likely.

The issue wasn't simply that they didn't know which variation of Compound V that Homelander had me infected with, it was that as they broke down the components and addressed each one, my body didn't simply fight their attempts, it attacked itself. The asshole, it would appear, had basically chosen the self destruct version, and it was trickier than any puzzle these 'real doctors' had ever come across. I was truly feeling the confidence of having a toddler performing my brain surgery with this knowledge.

Oh and that wasn't all, even IF they figured out how to 'neutralize' the formula inside of my bloodstrain, then there was a probability that I could pass it on to any future children. Isn't that some kind of amazingly poetic bullshit to hear after you chose to evict a foreign invader from your uterus? That the one stabilizing agent I'd had scraped and dumped was the ONLY one that I would ever get to actually be allowed to experience. Remind me to send Homelander a HUGE fucking thank you card, would you?

Early into my first true consciousness, before I found out just how fucked the pompous dick had made my entire existence, Billy had told me that my parents had visited while I was knocked out. Apparently near death experiences make even the weirdest of families reunite. And mine was no different.

Mom became a regular visitor and I was shocked by how much I started looking forward to her visits. She was strangely comforting, and tried to keep my spirits up, she even made peace with Billy. Dad was less frequent in his contact, but Mom told me it was difficult for him to see me look like a shell of myself.

And I did. I looked like a ghost that's haunting what was left of my body. The feeding tube had kept me nourished, but my muscle mass had suffered from the amount of time I was forced to spend in bed. I was constantly tired, my work hours going from nine to six to an hour here, a few minutes there, and the amount of napping I did would make most house cats jealous. The gowns that I wore hung from my frame, my appetite was scarce and I felt like this was the LONGEST goodbye letter ever to be written.

As the days passed, one merging into the next without me taking stock of how much I missed, how much that puzzle of what I was missing had bothered me early on, the negative ideas started creeping in. Homelander's voice grew louder. His smug question about Billy and me and what my condition would mean for the two of us in the end kept pushing through my attempts to distract myself.

I was sitting in the soft chair they'd brought in for me by the window, staring out and thinking of my options when Billy came in for his visit. I heard him, in the background noise of beeps and whirls, ask his questions. I felt him when he was nearer to me, but my eyes stayed on the 'view'.

He started to greet me, but my mouth opened and the question came out without me thinking about it. "How will you do it?" I watched a leaf, one missed by the obsessive groundskeepers, dance in a breeze I wish I could feel. He was confused, his reflection showed that much. "When you kill me, how will you do it?"

"Veronica," I could hear the pain in his voice, the fear hiding behind it. "I wouldn't-"

"Frenchie then?" I tilted my head considering. "MM? Hughie barely managed to make the choice with-" I stopped and took a breath. "Kimiko?" I sighed and pulled my legs up onto the chair, hugging my knees. "I hear she makes quite a mess of her prey." My voice wasn't loud and it didn't sound anything more than resigned, and I was a little curious. "If you can get Starlight to do it, you could make it seem like self defense? Or," I sighed, and bit my lip, "it would finally give you a reason to take her out too."

"Ronnie, love, that's not gonna-" I turned and he flinched when he saw that I was serious and not the least bit upset. "Ronnie?"

"Billy Butcher, I wrote the book on you." My smile felt wrong to me, but right at the same time. "I know you inside and out, or at least I think I do." I had the research on the flash drive that was hooked into my laptop on the bed. "You are single minded in your focus and your focus has been on eliminating supes from the world for a very long time." I turned back to the window, staring past the view and at the reflection of the room behind me. "It was one of the things I found the most attractive about you, I think. That you could see a goal and pound away until you master it." He sat in the chair close to me, but at a distance far enough that he'd have to work to touch me. "So, how will I die, Billy?"

"You'll die safe and sound, of old age in our bed, Veronica." I smiled sadly at this pipe dream of a fairy tale he wanted so badly to believe. "When you're sick of me, remember?" I could hear how badly he wanted it to be true, how much he wanted to hold me and it to all be a terrible dream.

"Never took you for a nursery rhyme and fairy stories fan," my eyes were still on the window. "This isn't going away, Billy, what he put in me isn't going away. And you will start to look at me like you look at him." My eyes found his, and face to face I wanted to force him to see it. "You will. And then, just like you, Frenchie, and Hughie brainstormed about Translucent and the best way to end him, you'll start to consider my pressure points." I gave a harsh, humorless chuckle. "And the funniest part is that Homelander built mine in for you, all you have to do is take me off the blood cleanse for a day and my own body will do it for you." His eyes tightened at the reminder of how many close calls I'd had. "Oops, I guess I just planned it for you."

"Please don't." He was begging me to let him pretend it wasn't the truth, that he wouldn't lose me too, and because of the same supe as Becca's cause of death. "Don't do this."

I smiled sadly, knowing he knew, even without me telling him, what was going to happen next.

[captiancap]

Man eater (pt3)

Mastiff is waiting by his warehouse when you arrive. You walk up to him, silent. He looks down at you, also silent. It's like that for a little bit and then he sighs.

"Are you comfortable being alone with me?" He asks. Fuck him for being so considerate. You tell him not really but it's the only way to move forward so you'll do it. He doesn't like that answer.

"You can walk away right now. I won't blame you for it. I won't contact you ever again if that's what you want." He says sternly.

You groan and say that you're not leaving. It's a closure thing.

He pauses but goes and unlocks his warehouse door. He holds it open for you as you walk inside. The motion sensors make the lights turn on. Great, you'll be able to see your death coming now.

Mastiff shuts the door, looking at you for a few seconds. "What do you want to see first?" He asks.

The question catches you off guard and you're not how to respond so you just say 'whatever'.

He sighs, face palming softly, he takes a deep breath and moves his bangs out of his face. His eyes are round and pitch black. As you stare you notice that he has more then two. There's another set on his temples and as he pulls his hair back and out of the way you see two more pairs going along the sides of his head.

They all blink and you shiver a bit.

He takes off his shirt next. You're familiar with the front. Solid chest, soft belly, lots of hair. It's when he turns around that you audibly gasp.

There's a vertical deep black laceration on his back along his spine. Dark veins spread out from in like a spider web. He takes a breath and then the cracking starts.

Oh god the cracking...

You can see his bones move and shift as his spine snaps and these large black appendages emerge from his back. There's 4 of them, all slick with a shiny clear substance, they form a sort of cage around Mastiff. He turns to see your horrified face and stops to contemplate this whole thing.

You can see the wheels turning in his head so you clear your throat and tell him to continue. He looks at you, unsure. Funny, you don't think you've ever seen him look unsure. You wave your hand in a 'carry on' motion.

He cracks his neck and opens his mouth. You see the fangs from before so you thought you were prepared. Well you weren't. His jaw stretched past what a normal persons could and began to slit along his face as rows of similar black fangs fling out like switch blades.

Two more appendages come from the back of his mouth. Like pincers. He also seems to be making these unintentional clicking and hissing noises. With a mouth like that there was no possible way of any human communication.

You stare at him. He stares at you. After a few second he shifts back to normal and reaches down to grab his shirt from the floor. "So," he says "That's me." He puts his shirt back on. His cheeks are bleeding slightly from being tore open but they heal quick.

"I'm an arachnosapien. Not sure what kind so don't ask." He says, looking at your face, reading your reaction.

You... you don't know how to feel. On one hand that was absolutely terrifying and gruesome. On the other hand it's Mastiff and he trusts you enough to show you this and it was a little bit hot and god just fuck him for being so easy to love.

He sniffs slightly and obviously tries to hold back a chuckle. You glare at him, asking what's so funny. He shrugs, "I was hoping you'd accept me but I didn't expect such a... positive reaction." He mused while looking down at your crotch.

He always said he could smell when you were in the mood but you thought it was a joke. Apparently not. You scoff and cross your arms. He takes a step closer to you, reaching for you, but stops. He sighs.

"Theres... more. I'm sure you're wondering about the whole 'eating people' thing..." He looks reluctant but you insist that yes that was something you were hoping to get some explanation on. "My kind need to eat alot. Our bodies function fast and we use up energy fast. We're also carnivores mainly, so we need a large about of raw meat, and in a place like this... the most available source is people." You open your mouth to say something and he stops you. "Yes I've tried other things but my father was stupid and once my kind grow up eating something it's hard for our systems to process anything else. I can eat normal food but it doesn't do much in the sense of sustaining me. I'm one of the lucky ones, if my brother eats anything except raw flesh he gets severally sick and close to death." He looks down. "I don't eat innocent people though. Muggers, rapists, abusive partners, pimps... they are my main diet."

Your mind can't help but conger up the image of your boyfriend as some vigilante stalking the scum of the city like they were easy prey. You're a bit proud of him for it. Just a bit.

You take a step closer to him. Then another, then another, and before you know it you've closed the distance between the two of you and you're wrapped in his arms. You can feel in his back that things are still settling back into place.

You sigh into his chest, look up at him, and ask if there's anything else you should know.

"Other then the fact I sell the organs I don't eat on the black market, not really." He states bluntly. You think you now understand what other types of things are in the containers he keeps replacing and why he has one of the few air conditioned warehouses in the whole district. Honestly that's not the craziest thing you've heard today so you intentionally tuck it away for later.

"Also... I love you." He says.

You blush and nuzzle into his chest. You take a moment to think about your life. Everything you've been taught about right and wrong. You come to the conclusion that being with Mastiff feels right no matter how wrong the way he eats is.

You tell him you are officially the biggest idiot in the world. He seems confused. You look up at him. Into his eyes. His dark, clever eyes. You ask if you can go home.

He seems sad for a moment before you kiss his weird, disgusting, probably-ate-a-pedophile mouth. "Our home." You clarify. He agrees immediately.

It feels good being back in Mastiffs apartment. You flop on the bed and revel in how much the sheets smell like him. He joins you on the bed, caressing your head as you snuggle against him.

"We're still together right?" He asks.

You chuckle slightly and nod. He sighs in relief. You drift off to sleep in his hold.

No dreams. No warehouse. Just peace.

When you tell your friend the next day about how you and Mastiff got back together she is estatic. She doesn't ask any questions and you're thankful for that. Mastiff also thanks her for keeping what little she does know as a secret. Her reasoning is 'Hey sometimes cannibalism is hot.'

You scoffed when she said that but soon found that, sometimes, yes, it was hot. You were woken up at 1 in the morning a few weeks after fully moving in with Mastiff. You found him in the living room, gloves and shirt stained red and his mouth just beginning to close. He looked satisfied but still buzzed with energy. His multiple eyes easily spotted you on the stairs.

You squeaked and rushed back upstairs. He followed you, chuckling darkly. His sense of smell was too good sometimes.

He caught you by the ankle as you tried to hide under the blankets, hoisting you up so he could see your face. The excitement in your eyes, the small smile at being caught, it was different from his other prey. But you were always different from other humans to him.

He made you scream alot that night. Some out of terror but most from pleasure. You began looking forward to that small period of time when he was just coming down from the thrill of the kill. Happy, with his hunger fulfilled but still aware and dangerous. Still a predator. Your predator.

It was even better when you found out that the first week of January was a very special "heat" season for him. But that's a story for another time. You were happy with your spider. He was happy with you. You loved your big scary man eater more than anything and maybe that makes you crazy, but you're pretty sure you're fine with that.

[keeroo92]

Welcome To The First Order

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! My discord server did an exchange, here is what I came up with. This is in the Star Wars universe, not DMC. Warnings for smut, questionable consent, restraints, and light dom/sub themes. Kylo Ren/OC but can also be Reader.

Word count - 5,401

__________

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

On a remote planet in the outer rim, a massive volcano spewed ash miles overhead, gradually dispersing to coat the landscape in a fine gray powder. The acrid tang of sulphur permeated the air and rough, black rock clearly marked more recent activity. 

To the volcano’s east, a lush forest grew from the nutrient-rich soil, filled with migrant species looking for a home. The greenery extended as far as the eye could see, proving that even the most destructive forces could build a paradise. 

But Kylo Ren wasn’t here to sightsee. In fact, he abhorred the scene entirely. Volcanic planets were among his most hated. They always stank, and under his heavy black cloak there was no escaping the ambient heat.

With a final, regretful glance back at his treasured command shuttle and its lovely air-conditioned cabin, the black-clad warrior sighed and turned to his task. Why couldn’t the damned Force disturbance have been on a polar planet?

Whatever. He’d find the source quickly and leave; the cause wouldn’t stay hidden long now that he was physically here. Maybe a quick stop at a balmier planet on the way back.

The newly instated Supreme Leader closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, focusing his energy on the undercurrent pulsing through the universe. He pictured it like a spiderweb, thin filaments connecting every atom in existence. A twitch here and there in the web was normal. Birth, death, conflict and unity all sent waves radiating through the network. 

Yet a dark knot swirled in this sector, a shadowy stain he recognized like an echo of his own heart. It called to him through the galactic void, drawing him in like prey.

But Kylo Ren was no one’s prey. 

His eyes shot open as he pinpointed the origin. It wasn’t far, maybe three kilometers east or so. A short walk, then he’d clean up whatever mess was causing the itch in his mind and leave this hellscape behind.

  __________

The disturbance first appeared three weeks ago, a tiny speck in the fabric of reality that barely drew his attention. He ignored it, more focused on his new duties as the Supreme Leader, and on removing any officers who refused to accept the news. It was an annoyance, nothing more. 

Yet as the days passed it grew stronger, until he found his attention wavering to prod at it during mundane meetings. The business of running the First Order was as much work as he’d expected, but he hadn’t expected it to be so tedious. 

Indeed, some tasks he found so boring he missed his old position. 

Eventually, his boredom became too powerful to ignore and he found himself launching his command shuttle, slipping away from his duties to investigate the strange disturbance in person. None would dare complain, now that he was Supreme Leader. If they did, they wouldn’t live to regret it.

  __________

Less than a kilometer remained between him and his target. He closed his eyes to focus once more, homing in even further on the strange signature. With it so near, he had to be careful not to draw its attention or reveal his presence. The mental masks he wore only did so much, after all. Speaking of masks, he should probably don his helmet. Undoubtedly the damn thing would be stiflingly hot. Damn volcanic planets.

Luckily, there was plenty of wildlife to hide his Force signature. Snoke taught him well, better than the fool Jedi ever did. Not that it saved him, in the end. He should’ve known better than to stand in the way of progress. 

There. A human, young and fierce. Female, with an ocean of Force energy running through her. 

She’s been touched by the Force… This had better not turn out like Jakku.

  __________

The girl bit her lip as she caught a glimpse of the dark energy approaching. True, Ren hid himself well, but she was prepared for that. Any creature within a kilometer of her camp had a Force trip-wire to alert her to any gifted intruders. A wise choice, judging by the power in the signature she detected. She knew her task wouldn’t be easy, but could she really hope to best one with such strength?

There is no emotion. There is peace.

The words of the Jedi soothed her mind, a bit. It helped keep her calm and focused, holding back the fear she’d so long denied. Emotions wouldn’t help her; they never did. 

No, they tended to do the opposite. Frequently.

This isn’t helping. Gotta do something, gotta move.

Thick fabric rustled as she circled her chosen ambush site, one of many decisions she struggled not to second guess. The small area offered little in the way of natural protection, though the trees circling the clearing gave her some much-needed shade to sit in and meditate. A small tent sat under one such tree, a campfire and firewood just outside. She hadn’t brought much, but a few bags of supplies were neatly arranged on a large boulder. Her miniscule ship waited for her return on the other side of the ridge. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be left empty tomorrow.

  __________

The closer he came, the more she felt him. The energy he radiated turned her stomach; a seething, roiling mass of anger and pain, guilt and despair. Sparks of light tried to break through the darkness, but they were like stars in a night sky. Drowned by the endless void surrounding them.

I wonder what my energy feels like?

Maybe she’d ask him, right before the killing blow.

At last, he came within meters of her small camp. Shadows cast by the trees and greenery helped him blend in, but a flash of motion and his dark energy marked his location like a distress beacon. Few animals remained, the air still as if the Force itself held its breath.

Her fingers itched to draw her saber and attack, but she knew better. A Jedi never strikes first. Defend, but do not attack. Even if you know your foe.

She knew of Kylo Ren. The son of legends, fallen from grace to rise in the shadow of the First Order. Once, he’d inspired hope. Now he inspired terror. Her master knew him many years ago, before his fall. One of three survivors of Ren’s desecration of the Jedi temple, Voe was the one who found her in the lower levels of Coruscant, stealing to survive and performing simple mind-tricks if she were caught. She still didn’t fully agree with her teachings, but her belly didn’t ache with hunger and she no longer slept in a gutter. It was enough, and maybe another few years would help her believe. Today her faith in the Force was a lake of still waters, but one day it would harden into a tower of crystal, never to be shaken or disrupted by the capricious winds of doubt.

At least, that’s what Master Voe told her.

The Force screamed and brought her back to the moment as a terrible red light buzzed to life. It was almost time. 

  __________

The clueless girl still hadn’t noticed him. She was young; her worn-out Padawan robes gave that away. Hazel eyes and a mess of shoulder-length brown hair framed a face dominated by her overly-large nose, a jagged scar running from her left cheekbone to her scalp. An ordinary looking girl, all in all. 

He hid mere inches away, shrouded by a small bird’s life force. From this distance, it would be a simple task to execute her and be done with it. 

But a corpse couldn’t tell him what she was doing here, or if she was causing the disturbance, not to mention how long it’d been since he got to fight. Perhaps a good duel would help relieve some of his boredom.

So, instead of executing her on the spot, he drew his saber and activated the blade, stepping out from the shadows with a casual stride.

“Hello, little Jedi,” he said.

Her eyes went wide, darting to his glowing blade and back to his masked face. Yet her Force-energy didn’t ring with alarm, much to his shock. She’d been expecting him.

“Kylo Ren… You’re not as tall as I expected,” she replied.

Not as tall?! He was six foot three, how tall did she expect him to be? 

“That one I haven’t heard before. Tell me your name.”

Her arms crossed, a defiant glare entering her eyes. “No.”

He chucked, spinning his blade in a leisurely circle as he stepped closer. “An odd name, No. Your parents must have been interesting.”

Her energy twitched, a spike of irritation flowing through the Force. Excellent, she clearly didn’t have full control of her emotions. He could use that.

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Well, I have to call you something.”

Another spike, this was too easy. Hopefully she was more skilled with her saber, or this would be over far too quickly. 

“The dead have no need for names,” she replied. So, she meant to kill him. 

Fool.

“You lack the skill to defeat me, No.”

She smirked and drew her saber, gripping the hilt in a textbook defense hold. Third form, if he wasn’t mistaken.

“Let’s find out, or are you too much of a coward? Maybe they should call you Kylo Ran.”

Enough talk, then.

The rage that boiled in his heart, tucked away under the surface until it was needed, rose like the tide. Kylo released his hold on it and allowed it to flood his senses, empowering him with the Dark Side. It always sent a thrill up his spine to feel the heat and unending fury it held, and today was no different.

Black robes fluttered as he lunged forward to strike at the girl. Her saber barely rose in time to block his furious blow, the green blade buzzing to life inches from her body to hold his at bay.

“Tell me why you’re here and I’ll let you keep breathing,” he growled. As if to mock him, the girl took a massive breath and pushed, breaking their stalemate as she jumped back.

He didn’t give her the time to recover. A series of Force-empowered blows rained down upon her, his saber an unstoppable conduit for his wrath. 

  __________

Golden sparks flew from where red met green. The girl gritted her teeth and summoned a tether of Force energy to coil around her adversary’s ankle, but he nimbly stepped away. Damn, she’d have to do better than that.

“Pathetic, you’ll have to do better than that,” growled his distorted voice, as if he were in her mind. 

There is no emotion.

Hazel eyes flashed as she ducked under his glowing red blade, dodging a death blow by mere centimeters and dashing back out of his range. Strands of her hair sizzled as he cut the air. She needed to be faster; he was right, she didn’t have the skill to beat him. Not in a straight fight, at least. Time to play dirty.

There is only peace.

A wave of rock-hard energy rocketed from his leather covered palm, charged with power and ill intent. She hastily matched it with one of her own, the Force clashing in a battle of will. As the invisible blasts struggled for dominance, she swiped her saber at Kylo’s arm, smirking when a thin line of pale skin revealed itself under his robes. A minuscule drop of blood leaked out a beat later.

“Who’s pathetic now?”

A low growl rumbled through his helmet and she capitalized on his rage, slashing at his head with a mighty Force-empowered strike. The glowing green blade hummed and sliced through the metal of his helmet, but he pirouetted away before she could reach his flesh. She leaped skyward for another hit, but he was too fast. A pulse of energy knocked her out of the air to land ungracefully on the grassy ground. 

“You have some skill, girl, I’ll admit that,” Ren murmured. 

The young Jedi scrambled to her feet as the dark visage she battled tugged the now distorted metal away from his face, revealing the features of her target. Black hair, handsome features. Eyes that burned with unrestrained power.

Voe told her what he looked like before, so she’d been prepared. 

Yet to see such a young face beneath the mask that inspired terror across the galaxy still threw her off. He couldn’t be much older than she was, and already he ran the most powerful political group in existence. 

“Imagine how powerful you’d be if you left behind the foolishness of the Jedi.”

Voe warned her of this, too. That he might tempt her or try to darken her light. No lie was too much when one studied the dark. 

“The foolishness of the Jedi? Bold words for one with the blood of Skywalker in his veins,” she sneered back. 

His face twisted, the intensity of his fury electrifying the air. It was so powerful, it set the hair on her arms on end, and she suddenly understood why this man was so widely feared. Was she about to die? Maybe mentioning his family was unwise…

The Force shifted, a current of energy building in her foe’s core. Only one thing required that much energy that she knew of.

Force lightning.

An icy chill crawled up her spine. Voe covered the technique only in passing, deeming it too early in her training to explore such a finicky ability. Mistakes could cost a young padawan her life. Wiser to train her in simpler things first, no matter how much she begged.

Adrenaline coursed through her veins, her eyes focused entirely on Ren’s hands even as fear threatened to still her heart. Sparks danced between his gloved fingers, a gathering storm meant to annihilate her. 

There is no death, there is the Force.

The words held little comfort. Becoming one with the Force was not her goal today.

Focus!

She released a deep breath and planted her feet, her toes curling into the soil through the thin soles of her shoes. A firm stance was key. Her body and mind needed to be in perfect unison if she were going to survive.  

A howl of fury rattled through the Supreme Leader’s lips as the first arc of lightning crackled toward her. The young Jedi raised her saber to catch it and screamed back, finding strength in voicing her defiance. 

Her shoulders trembled with the strain of containing such a huge amount of energy in her saber. She couldn’t hold it back much longer, soon it would overload the kyber crystal and find its way to her body. If only Ren would pause, then she could discharge it safely! 

But he knew it just as well as she did, and made his move. With one hand still channeling Force-energy into a sizzling arc of lightning, he surged forward to knock her saber from her hands. A gasp split her lips and he smirked, cutting off the energy flow just before it struck her body. 

She had failed.

Again. 

  __________

The side vent of his saber hummed angrily at her hammering pulse, the main shaft crossing over her shoulder. One wrong move, and he would decapitate her. She was at his mercy.

“Quite the troublemaker, aren’t you? It’s almost a waste to kill you.”

Her eyes revealed her fear in all its glory as he considered her. Poor little Jedi, defenseless without her Master. So afraid, mere lightning was enough to still her tongue. It almost made him laugh. 

“Just do it, then! What are you waiting for?”

I spoke too soon… the only way to still her tongue is to cut it out.

He chuckled, twisting his wrist to slide the crimson blade across her collarbone. A mark of her failure, though she needn’t endure it long. “But you haven’t answered my questions yet.”

Their eyes locked and he brutishly barged past her meager mental defenses. Her mind was like a kaleidoscope, disorganized and chaotic, flooding him with useless information as her consciousness desperately tried to hide. As if there was any escape. 

He saw her doubt, her curiosity and will to survive. The flame of anger that burned in her heart, the efforts she went to just to keep it concealed. He felt the hunger that once gnawed at her belly, the cool night air that kept her awake in the alleys of her home city. The sting of a firm hand when she was caught stealing, the sneer of the merchant that delivered it. The rage that fueled her instinctual first use of Jedi mind tricks, the shock when the merchant simply walked away. 

The robed figure that approached her soon after, offering a different life.

Voe…?

Kylo blinked and the memories faded away. He’d assumed her master was Skywalker; who else could it be? He’d forgotten Voe was even alive. A mistake he would not repeat. 

The girl’s master taught her well, but he would break through the meaningless drivel. Like the volcano that cast a shadow over the valley, he held the power to destroy all that stood before him, making room for something better to fill the void. It was not his fate to be loved, but to be feared and obeyed. This girl would be no different.

He would destroy her, and then build her into something better.

Both his black clad hands grasped her skull, his saber sheathed as he grimaced and delved deeper into her mind. Tears dripped from her wide hazel eyes but he didn’t care. Like a bantha in a china shop, he destroyed any defenses that barred his way.

You will show me.

More irrelevant memories. A lecherously smiling face, an aching dread as flesh met flesh. The sting of alcohol burning its way to her stomach, the tingle more familiar by the day. With a scolding tap of his index finger he brushed the useless recollections aside. 

Show me why you are here.

There - at last. Something useful.

Her hands were clenched in her lap, the calm voice of Master Voe ringing through the small tent. Two bedrolls lied nearby, a fire pit with a pot hanging over it just outside. 

“You know what will happen to you if you fail, padawan. Control your emotions, and do not allow the traitor to gain the upper hand.”

Her hands relaxed, the angle changing as she bowed her head to her Master. “I will not fail you.”

Voe must mean him. She’d been sent to take him down, it seemed. How insulting. Voe didn’t honestly think he’d fall to a padawan, did she?

Kylo drew back, releasing the girl from his cruel grip to fall to her knees and vomit. She looked so small and weak, a pawn sent as a sacrificial lamb by her pathetic Master. Voe had always been a fool, but this was a new level of stupidity.

He chuckled, smirking down at the girl wiping away her tears until she met his eyes. Brave, considering what he’d just done. 

The girl glared at him and spat, lobbing a wad of vomit-tainted saliva to land on his boot. “Fuck you.”

Two words, and the laughter died on his lips. Brave, yes. But also incredibly foolish.

His hands went back to her skull, tangling in her hair and giving it a sharp tug. Her entire body shifted with the force of his pull, landing her on all fours at his feet. Where she belonged.

“You aren’t very smart, are you, girl?”

“Heh, I’ve been called worse,” she responded with an exhausted but rebellious smirk. Another yank on her hair, harder than before. 

The girl bit her lip, whimpering in what he was beginning to suspect wasn’t pain. She might be the strangest padawan he’d ever seen.

“You aren’t cut from the cloth of the Jedi.”

The fact that she’d been taken on as a padawan showed how desperate the Jedi were. They were dying out, one by one. How many were left, now? Where were they hiding? He had to know, had to eradicate them properly.

“At least I didn’t murder anyone. Better fit than you were.”

The Force twitched, a flicker of pride seeping through her weakened and desecrated mind. As if she were somehow his superior. Honestly, did she even try to restrain her emotions?

He tugged her hair again, forcing her face up to look at him. The expression on her face sent a pulse of fire through his blood. That wasn’t pride he sensed; it was desperation. Her will to survive in action searching for a way to earn her next breath.

Kylo chuckled, tightening his hold on the brown strands. First a fight, now this. Perhaps volcanic planets weren’t so bad?

“You like that, don’t you? You would’ve been a terrible Jedi, No. Why stay loyal to a group that doesn’t suit you?”

The girl huffed, but she didn’t deny it. From what he’d seen in her memories, she was no stranger to darkness. What if it twisted her, just as it did to him? What if he didn’t need to kill her?

“No one else wanted my loyalty,” she murmured. “No one else wanted me.”

Oh, it was almost too easy. The thought of what he could do to her flooded his senses with heady lust, his cock twitching against his thigh. A good fight always got him excited; something about the knowledge he could’ve died but instead, proved himself strong enough to win…

Kylo Ren licked his lips. “And if someone did?”

Her lips curled into a dismissive smile, glimmers of sad amusement coming to life in her eyes. “Are you saying you want me? Here I thought you dark-siders just took what you wanted.”

The girl was born for the Dark Side. If anything, he’d have to watch his back for the blade she’d someday stick in his spine. For now, though…

Thick cables of Force energy took hold of the girl’s head and arms, freeing his hands. He knew she could break free if she wanted; her own ability to command the Force at will proved it. 

Yet she simply let the tendrils do their work. She had to be exhausted, after his annihilation of her mind, but all he sensed from her thoughts was a hint of fear, perhaps a bit of curiosity. The girl wasn’t even breathing quickly, her oddly calm eyes daring him to do something. As if she wanted this.

“You want me to take what I want, is that it?”

She didn’t reply. Aggravating, he asked her a question.

“Fine. Have it your way, No.”

He couldn’t deny the thrill it gave him to see her eyes widen as he drew his lightsaber once more. With a twitch of his fingers, the cords holding her in place tightened and shifted, forcing her body to arch.

“Hold still,” he ordered, bringing the crimson blade to her hips. The fabric of her padawan robes fell away seconds later, revealing her skin to his hungry gaze.

Pink folds glistened like grass in the morning, supple flesh begging to be devoured. The girl whimpered as he drew closer, tracing his leather-clad fingers across her most sensitive spots. It’d been far too long since he indulged himself.

“So that’s what you want? The same thing as everyone else?” she sneered.

The quiver in her voice contrasted her words, but she still shouldn’t dare to speak them aloud. Oh, he couldn’t wait to break this stubborn little padawan.

He plunged a wad of Force-energy deep into her throat as he cut away the rest of her clothing. A finer display, he hadn’t seen in years; every inch of flesh he revealed brought more blood to his aching length.

“I didn’t give you permission to speak, youngling.”

Only the sound of choking responded. Through the Force, he felt her struggling airway and mounting panic. It only added to the growing heat of his need.

“Much better. Those who listen well will be rewarded.”

He narrowed his eyes and gestured, adding more invisible tendrils. These, however, held a different purpose. They slithered up from the ground, climbing her arms and legs to reach her tempting core and burrow deep within. The thick ball occupying her mouth and esophagus pulled back, allowing her to breathe almost normally. At the very least, he’d now hear her moans.

And the girl didn’t let him down, whimpering as his Force-energy explored her wet heat. Soft as velvet and dewy with arousal, her body betrayed her. No longer could she hide or pretend she didn’t want this as badly as he did.

But she probably thought him to be a gentle lover. Imbecile.

Kylo made quick work of drawing himself out, indulging in a few rapid strokes to ease his need. The threads probing and holding her body vanished, leaving her to cough as her ability to breathe was fully restored. Watching her go limp, the sound of her hacking gasps and the curve of her ass waiting for his attentions summoned the first bead of fluid from his tip.

Waste not, want not.

“Do you want more, little Jedi?” he rumbled, striding into her line of sight so she could watch him toy with his length. Pulses of lust radiated from her mind, too powerful to restrain. “Come have a taste, then.”

The girl’s hooded hazel eyes watched him carefully, suspicion tainting the urges vying for control. Enough delay; he’d just have to teach her.

A single, thick rope of energy wrapped around her slim neck and dragged her to him, angling her throat and forcing her jaw open to envelop his length. Kylo groaned, the feel of her mouth a tantalizing precursor to satisfaction. So warm and wet…

He tangled his hands in her hair, releasing the tendril to take over. A snap of his hips drew a lewd moan from his lips and a quiet whine from hers.

“Ah, come now, No. You like the taste, don’t you? I can tell,” he growled.

Indeed, her mind was racing, projecting a craving for more. At his words, she hummed and pressed her tongue to his shaft, closing her eyes and savoring his flavor. Truly, the Force was a wonderful thing.

But as Supreme Leader, he couldn’t grant her what she wanted so easily. She had to earn it.

Kylo tugged her face against his hips, rolling into her throat over and over as she gagged on his girth. Saliva dribbled from the corner of her lips and shimmered on his cock. She looked quite appealing this way, her body bare and glowing in midday sunlight, wrapped around him and at his mercy.

He smirked and coils of power pulled her off the ground, spreading her arms and legs like a starfish. To her credit, the girls only moaned and slid her tongue across his slit, seemingly not caring one way or the other. She learned fast.

The dark warrior withdrew and hummed, releasing her skull to pat her head like a treasured pet. Glassy eyes and swollen lips glistened. “A promising start.”

A gesture of his fingers spun her around; another, and her wetness ground upon his length. Two sets of lips moaned. It was time to break the little Jedi.

“You’re mine, little Jedi,” he said roughly. Two leather-clad hands gripped her hips and spread her ass open. He spat on her back entrance and smirked as he brought a tendril to prod its way inside, simultaneously burying his length deep in her cunt.

Divine. Her walls greeted him in a tight embrace like an old friend. Panting gasps spilled from her lips as he began to move, humming as her body refused to let him go.

“All mine. You serve a new Master now,” he said. “Tell me, girl. Say it!”

He snapped back inside, slapping his flesh against hers. The cord of energy in her ass pulsed in time with his motions, rubbing against his head deep within. Curses rang forth, but she denied him what he demanded. Not for long.

The wet slap of his motions didn’t pause as his Force-tendrils released her arms, moving to tease at her chest. Flicking and rolling, kneading and squeezing, leaving bruises across her curves as a reminder of her new position.

“Say it! Who is your Master?”

“Ah-! No!”

Ren quickened his pace and dragged one gloved hand lower, inching closer to her clit. A promise, of sorts. Obedience would be rewarded. Rebellion brought nothing but pain. “Say it.”

Her hands dug into the gritty ground, clenching just as they had in her memory. “No!”

He pinched her tiny bundle of nerves, brutishly tight. Her body flinched away, a yelp of pain rewarding his abuse. Force-energy whipped across her spine and stomach, leaving angry red lines in their wake. Again and again, he thrust against her drenched core. Creamy fluid dotted his trousers, as if he needed more proof of her lust.

“You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you? Jedi slut!”

With her so distracted, it was simple to enter her mind yet again. Her skin was on fire, electric pulses singing across her nerves as she was filled beyond what she’d ever experienced before. The girl was drowning in arousal, teetering on the edge of surrender. Stubborn fool.

He opened his own mind, just enough to let images of his plans for her through. He’d have her in chains, naked and at his disposal at all times. If she obeyed, perhaps he’d allow her to cum. A collar would do wonders for her neck. Someday, she might earn a place by his throne, ready to please him or his more competent generals. He might even have her pleasure him while he met with them.

He was going to destroy her, of that there was no doubt. All she had to decide was if she would become something better in the wreckage of her former life.

“Who is your Master?”

“Fu- fuck!” she cried, her voice close to breaking. “K- Kylo Ren! Kylo Ren is my Master!”

Kylo smirked and took hold of her shoulder, pulling out just long enough to get her on her back. He lifted her legs to rest on his shoulders, granting him an angle too perfect to waste. With each roll of his hips, he dragged moans from her lips and sweat from her pleasure-furrowed brow. Her eyes were hazy, but coherent enough to meet his.

His hands flew to her throat and squeezed, stealing the air from her lungs as he fucked her. The fire in his belly would soon erupt, engulfing him in bliss. Even without the Force, he knew she was close too.

“Cum for your Master, girl!”

The black-clad man rubbed one last thread of Force-energy against her swollen clit, his hands tightening on her neck and his hips slamming into hers. The velveteen walls caressing his cock fluttered, an obscene moan pushing its way from her mouth as she arced against him. Her signature flared white-hot and shoved him over the edge.

Heat crashed from his tip, spilling his seed deep within. Kylo gasped, his hips stuttering as his mouth fell open in overwhelming perfection. Her body milked every last drop from his, clenching and releasing in turns long after he was spent.

At last, the girl fell still, save for her heaving chest. He gave her neck one last squeeze; a reminder before he pulled away.

She didn’t move as he fixed his pants. Fluid spilled from her core onto the dirt and red lines crossed over her stomach, bruises forming on her limbs and throat. Broken. Ready to be rebuilt.

But first…

“Tell me your name, girl.”

She sighed and struggled to sit up. Her clothes were beyond repair, scraps of cloth littering the clearing around them but she gathered what she could anyway. “What does it matter?”

He chuckled. “I suppose it doesn’t. Tell me anyway.”

She looked away, covering what she could with little success. It was better this way, in his opinion. Padawan robes were hideous, and he did so enjoy gazing at the marks he left behind.

“It’s Coriandra,” she said. “Like the spice.”

A smirk twisted his lips. A far better name than No. “Welcome to the First Order, Coriandra.”

[y2fandom]

Bad Advice... Works? — Miles Morales

Summary: Miles realizes he's got a crush and his first instinct is to ask the Spider-family for help, though their advice is not that helpful...

Word count: 3,600+

Warnings: There's an attempted robbery and assault, panic attack, lots of guilty feelings, violence.

The final bell rang. A sigh of relief seemed to come from all his classmates. He had to agree with them. Miles had been waiting for the weekend since Monday. He smiled to himself as the teacher dismissed them all, he had to go to his dorm and pack but the sense of freedom when walking out of last period never faded. He found his best friend (besides Ganke) in the hallway. Their classes were close and usually they walked together to the dorms section. (Y/N) brightened when she spotted him.

Miles came to her side, resting his elbow at the top of her head — she wasn't that short and his arm didn't rest naturally but it was worth it for the look on her face. She rolled her eyes, jokingly annoyed at him. “Do you have to do that every time?”

Miles nodded, a grin splitting his face. “You've gotten really short.”

She scowled at him, “no I haven't, it's not my fault you suddenly got taller.” she huffed.

“I'm just messing with you.” Miles couldn't help but chuckle. “Walk with me?” He gestured to the general direction of the dorms, bowing and extending a hand at her in an exaggerated motion.

(Y/N) giggled but she seemed to remember something, she shook her head. His heart dropped. Before he could ask why she was already talking. “I'm sorry, they caught me reading during Calculus and now I have detention.” (Y/N) seemed merely annoyed at the detention issue.

Miles gave her an understanding smile, though there was a teasing glint in his eyes. “You shouldn't stay crouched over those books, it brings you problems and won't help you height wise.”

He couldn't help laughing at her glare, he raised his hands up in mock surrender. Her expression softened.

“I should be going,” she gave him a quick hug, Miles felt his heart leap in his chest and he couldn't help the fleeting thought that her arms fit perfectly around him and her body was just the right size for him to embrace, “If Ganke feels better you two should visit me, we can hangout or something.”

(Y/N) smiled, turning towards the opposite direction of the dorms. Miles stood there, watching her go. He couldn't help the feeling that he was doomed. Oh god, I like my best friend.

Miles didn't remember walking to his dorm, he didn't remember packing his stuff and leaving it home. He just remembered the panic. The sense of urgency. He had to get to Aunt May’s house soon.

Miles tapped twice the web shooter as he landed in front of Aunt May’s house. He allowed himself a sigh of relief, though there was no saying if the other Spider-people where there. If they weren't he would be happy to talk with Aunt May, maybe she could offer some advice based in how Peter got MJ to like him.

Miles didn't bother knocking on the door, May kept the front door unlocked since the Spiders started using her house as a rendezvous. Six pair of eyes darted at him as he got into the house. Miles closed the door behind him.

“I got a problem.”

The Spiders seemed alarmed but none of them did a motion towards him. The visibly looked at him for any sign of damage. Miles took off his mask, he hadn't noticed his heart beating wildly in his chest but he had a feeling it wasn't because of the physical exertion.

“What's the matter Miles?” May was the first one to speak, beckoning him to come closer. “You need a cup of tea,dear?”

Before Miles could even nod May was already up, going to prepare some tea. He plopped down on the only space left.

“I think I have a crush,” he said, he ignored the way his arm seemed to suddenly become very attached to the arm of the couch, “I have a crush on my best friend and I don't know what to do.”

The Spiders seemed to relax when they noticed it wasn't an emergency, Miles couldn't bring himself to feel offended, there was already too much in his head.

After a second of silence, the black-and-white Peter Parker gave him a one-second smile, adjusting his glasses. “Tell her, then kiss her.”

Miles choked, he could feel heat rising to his face. “Wuh- What?” He sputtered, “I- I can't just do that.”

Miles couldn't help imagining what it would be like to actually do that. Just walk up to her, charm her and kiss her.

His uncle could've done it. The thought sent a dull pain through him but he brushed it off as fast as he could. Despite their conversations where he said otherwise, Miles knew he had no game. At all. He couldn't just walk up to (Y/N) and kiss her.

Porker nodded, Miles thought for a second that the talking animal would give him working advice, “The kid is right, she might not like that,” he did a sound Miles assumed was supposed to be a snort, “or him for that matter.”

Gwen swatted the pig over his head, glaring at him. Miles couldn't make out the threateningly whispered scolding. He was right though, (Y/N) probably didn't even like him, she could be crushing on Ganke for all he knew.

Peni gave him a supporting smile, flowers and small glitter appearing out of nowhere around her face, “Don't worry Miles! Just be yourself and ask her out.”

Miles sank on the couch, grumbling to himself. He didn't have the heart to tell Peni that was the most generic —and useless— advice. May came back from the kitchen, holding a steaming cup of tea, she placed it in front of him.

Peter B. had been silent for the whole conversation. Miles felt a pang of guilt, he was talking about likes and crushes while Peter was just trying to rebuild his relationship with MJ. Peter snapped out of his thoughts, he straightened, “Save her!” Everyone's head darted to him, “Rescue her from the bad guys, you know? It works wonders.”

May nodded, a small smile on her lips, “It worked for Peter and MJ.” There was a certain sadness to her tone but she seemed to think it was genuinely good advice.

“And then you kiss her.” Noir chirped in, as if the fact was essential.

“I can't just wait for her to be in danger,” Miles gave a exasperated sigh, he ran his hands through his hair, “I won't put her in danger, either.”

Peni seemed annoyed, if the vein pulsing in her head was any indication. “Be yourself Miles! You want her to fall for you.”

Miles considered the advice this time. Just for a second. The memory of getting stuck to a girl's hair and having that girl shave half her head off was still too fresh. Last time he tried being himself it had been a complete and utter disaster. Despite Gwen having being that girl, she nodded, “Peni is right, just be yourself Miles, she won't be able to resist you.”

Before Miles could refute her, Noir perked up, “Roses work too, the dark ones.”

Miles felt the heat rise to his face again, the idea of giving (Y/N) a rose seemed so… blunt. It would be obvious that he liked her. That he wanted more. Then again, Peter hadn't given the most subtle suggestions. Kisses and roses.

“Just punch someone she doesn't like, she'll love it,” Peter B suggested, giving Miles a thumbs up. Noir seemed to agree, because he nodded.

Miles winced. He had actually punched someone for her before —well, tried to punch someone. The bully had been bothering (Y/N) and Miles had tried defending her, which had been stupid considering the bully was way taller than him and so much stronger. Miles had ended up with a busted lip and some bruises, but (Y/N) had been worried and a little angry at him, not happy and certainly not in love with him. Miles concluded the only reasonable advice was that one of Peni and Gwen. Be yourself, Miles.

He nodded for Peter’s benefit. Miles felt like the visit wasn't as helpful as he would've expected.

《 。。。》

(Y/N) had a feeling that walking wasn't exactly the best of her ideas, but she was already halfway to her house and the next subway station was farther than her destination. She cursed herself again as she caught sight of that figure in her peripheral vision again.

(Y/N) never walked home. Her dad was there every Friday to pick her up after she had packed everything. For some reason though, he hadn't been there, something about work according to his message. And she had decided to walk. She had thought maybe it would count as good exercise and she'd get to see the city, to explore it, even if she had to stick to a specific route. She had forgotten, at the moment of her decision, that it was a long walk and that the city was full of dangerous people looking for easy prey.

A teenager that went to one of Brooklyn’s most prestigious academies certainly fit that category.

(Y/N) glanced back again, and again she caught a glimpse of the person following her. Except it wasn't just a person, it was two. She cursed under her breath. Maybe they weren't following maybe they were just heading in the same direction.

Still the anxiety didn't fade. She decided to change routes. She hoped they wouldn't follow her, that they weren't creeps or criminals. (Y/N) caught sight of a familiar alley, it was more of a narrow passage and it opened in the next street, it was a shortcut that meant walking an extra block to get home. Anything to make the anxiety disappear.

Halfway through the alley the fear seemed to ebb away. That was until someone kicked a can behind her. (Y/N) turned, heart hammering in her chest. She gulped. So he had followed her. And he was alone.

Something clicked behind her. So there was the other one. (Y/N) gulped again as she glanced back, her throat suddenly felt dry. A gun. They had a gun. The hands of the man holding the gun shook ever so slightly. (Y/N) wondered dimly if they had killed someone before. If they would kill her.

Her eyes prickled with tears, she wished them away. She hoped to maintain a little of a cold, fearless front. It didn't help that her heart was beating wildly in her chest, she was sure everyone on a block radius could hear it.

(Y/N) could barely hear the man ask for money, for her purse and backpack over her ragged breaths. Her vision blurred. Breathing became difficult. She was panicking.

She cursed. The man pointed the gun at her, his finger on the trigger, his face nothing but cold determination. So they had killed before. A sick feeling overcame her, her stomach was in knots. She cursed again fumbling for her wallet. (Y/N) could barely see and she realized she had started crying. Curse the cold front, she wanted to live.

A shaky sight left her lips as she found her wallet. The shaking made it hard to grab it but she had to hold on to it. The man grumbled at her to be faster. She allowed herself a second of doubt, all her savings were in that wallet, everything would be lost.

She trembled and threw the wallet in the direction of the man with the gun. She could make a run for it while he was distracted. The man lowered, she turned to run but something stopped her. A crunch. And a clatter.

(Y/N) looked back. The man seemed to be trying to fight something she couldn't see. He kept reacting like he was being punched. Her wallet was still on the floor. The other man had recovered from the shock and before he could use her to bargain with the invisible force she dived behind a dumpster, folding herself to use the less space possible.

It stunk. (Y/N) had to breathe through her mouth and she felt the urge to vomit but she didn't, too afraid to make the slightest movement.

A fight. Those were the sounds of a fight. The man yelling, the cracking of who-knows-what hitting the floor and finally, silence. A strange sound followed, almost silent. Thwip. Thwip.

(Y/N) stuck out half of her face to see what had happened. She gasped as she recognized the figure, the suit it was wearing. Spider-man. The hero reached for the pocket of one of the robbers, he seemed to call someone and then speak but she couldn't make out the words. Spider-man turned around, the eyes on his mask widening a little when he saw her still behind the dumpster, peeking at him. The boy —man? He wasn't that tall though…— took her wallet from the floor and approached her. He crouched until he was at eye level with her.

“Is this yours?”

(Y/N) nodded. His voice sent a feeling of familiarity through her. Like she knew him. She couldn't help the sob that escaped her. Gratitude. She had been about to die and about to loose it all and he had saved her.

Spider-man’s eyes widened a little more and then he was hugging her. She would've pushed him away but she needed it. She cried harder, dignity be dammed. He was reassuring her she was alright, that she was fine and in that moment it felt like she had hugged him a thousand times before. (Y/N) didn't know how long they stayed there but his embrace didn't budge until she had finally calmed down. She breathed a small thank you.

Spider-man placed her wallet on her hand. She could hear the smile on his voice when he said: “Need a ride home? The police will be here any second and I think you'd rather not be interrogated.”

She couldn't even nod or ask about the police before her stomach dropped. She grabbed on to him like her life depended on it—and in a way it did. (Y/N) had her eyes closed but by the felling of air hitting her face she knew she was very far from the floor. She now recognized the sound from earlier, it had been his webs.

(Y/N) opened her eyes a little, immediately gasping at the sight before her.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

(Y/N) nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“I have something to show you.”

She didn't object, didn't think of the dangers, she barely knew about the hero much less who was under the mask, but he had saved her. He wouldn't harm her.

They stopped at the top of a building. A very tall building. (Y/N) had the feeling they weren't in Brooklyn anymore.

“You'll love this.”

(Y/N) would've usually bit back with something along the lines of “how are you so sure?” but she was still shaken from almost being killed so she just let him lead the way. He walked to the edge of the building, sitting as if the drop wasn't deadly. She followed suit, though she decided to sit a little farther from the edge.

She opened her mouth to say something but instead a gasp came out. It was beautiful. The sun was setting, reflecting its light on some snowflakes that had started falling from the sky. As the light receded the lights of the city turned on.

How could she repay him? He had saved her and brought her here and he was probably going to take her home despite him not having to. An idea surged. She chastised herself for something so cliché but it was the least she could do.

(Y/N) scooted closer to him and she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. His eyes widened and hers followed suit. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you and I wanted to thank you—“

“(Y/N)…” he breathed out, before she could ask how he knew her name she saw him lift part of his mask and…

He was kissing her. (Y/N) instantly closed her eyes, she wished away all the questions of who he was or how he knew her name. _Spider-man was kissing her. _Strangely, her thoughts didn't stay in him for long, his warmth and height only made her think of Miles and of how this felt like what she had pictured kissing Miles would be like. She kissed harder.

(Y/N) didn't know who ended the kiss but both of them where panting and his mask was on again. She tugged at her sweater, it was getting colder by the second and later too. She blushed when she noticed she missed the warmth he provided. “Can… Can you take me home?”

Spider-man nodded. He didn't ask where she lived or anything of the likes.

《 。。。》

Miles cursed himself as he rang the doorbell. He had scared her off, he knew that. Stupid, he was so stupid. He hadn't even asked her to kiss her, of course she would hate him now. Well, not him, but spider-man. He didn't know if that was a relief or not.

He didn't have a plan. At all. What was he supposed to say? “Hey I'm spider-man also I kissed you last night and I'm sure you'll hate me for it so yeah”? Of course not. He just hoped (Y/N) would accept the excuse that he came to hang out and she would tell him everything. She always did.

(Y/N) opened the door. She was smiling, a stark contrast with the way she was shaking and crying the day before. “I think you forgot Ganke,” She said.

Miles smiled, he hoped she couldn't see the tensing of his shoulders as he shrugged. “He wasn't feeling well.”

She nodded. “I was watching some Netflix, care to join me?”

Miles smiled, he pointed to his backpack. “I knew the snacks were a good idea.”

“You know me so well.” (Y/N) said, though there was sarcasm in her tone she was also smiling.

Both of them made their way to her room, the left the door opened, as her parents always told her to do when there was anyone in her room. They both watched Monster vs Aliens in silence, only when the credits started rolling did she speak. “Miles,” the way she said it made him think of the kiss they shared at the rooftop, he felt guilty and ashamed, heat already creeping to his face, “you know about spider-man, right?”

He nodded, not really trusting his voice.

“Well, I met him last night…” her voice was barely above a whisper. Miles dreaded what would come next._ “And he kissed me like a total creep,”_ She would say. _How could he tell her it had been him? _

But instead she said something else: “I was walking home and—“ she choked and when he saw her he Miles noticed her eyes were glossy with tears— “these men tried to rob me, they were going to kill me, Miles,_ I knew it_.”

His heart ached. She was still scared, it had affected her more than he'd thought, and all the while he had been thinking about the kiss. He closed the distance between them and hugged her. She cried against his chest, just the way she had the day before, when he had saved her, “You're okay now.” he whispered against her hair. “You're safe. You'll be fine.”

Her sobs stopped abruptly with a hiccup. She stayed silent for a second and then, “It's you isn't it?”

Contra. “What's me?” He opted for playing dumb, though the nerves had started acting up, he stayed in place, just in case her hair had become stuck to his hand.

“You saved me,” she whispered, as if the truth was too fragile, “you're spider-man.”

He hesitated, putting some space between them, luckily her hair didn't stick to his hand. Would she hate him if he told her the truth? She must've seen the question written on his face because her eyes shadowed for a second.

“Why didn't you tell me? You've been swinging around the city risking your life and—“ she stopped abruptly, “you kissed me.”

Miles wished he were dead. He looked away. “Yeah, I did.”

“Was it just a kiss? Is that just part of the job? Saving girls and getting kissed?”

His eyes widened, how could she even think that? “What?” He looked at her but she didn't seem angry, only hurt. He wished he could show her how much it had been more than a kiss. Just be yourself, Miles. “Of course not– I just– I like you, like, a lot, I don't even know for how long I've liked you and I'm sorry if I acted like a creep I just couldn't find a way to tell you and I figured–“

“You like me?” Her whisper cut through his rambling like a knife.

Miles looked at her. Her eyes were wide but he could see a little color on her cheeks. He nodded.

She seemed to relax. “That's good cause I like you too.” She gave him a shy smile.

Miles couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face. He felt a little embarrassed when he asked her: “Would you like to… be my girlfriend?”

(Y/N) beamed at him, nodding. The next day everyone knew the answer too when both of them walked to class holding hands and they said goodbye with a chaste kiss on the lips.

[evolutionsvoid]

This species entry is going to be a little different from the ones I usually write. I am going to go over things like anatomy, hunting habits and culture significance as usual, but frequent readers of my work may find this entry to be a little sparse. I know some previous entries have been a little shorter than others, especially for creatures I don't have easy access to, but this one is a different story. For the ocean dwelling beasts, I can at least rely on other researchers and natural historians to help gather information and fill in the gaps. In this instance, though, I cannot even do that, because the beast known as the Malicrus is sadly extinct. I am sure there are some people out there wondering what is the point of writing an entry for an extinct species. If they are gone forever, then why do we need to know about them? Well, I like to think that writing about them and teaching others about them makes it so that they are not gone forever. In some way they live on through tale and tome, gone from the flesh and forever in our minds. I also wanted to write about them because I find their tale a fascinating one, and a good look at what happens when ecosystems are altered. Perhaps this tale of the past may help us be more mindful of our actions in the future! First, let us know more about what the Malicrus were. The Malicrus were a species of megafauna that lived in Underworld, primarily in fungal forests. Such a beast was hard to miss, as their adult form was massive in size, and their exoskeletons were covered in brilliant colors. Thin scales the color of fire hung from their frame, almost giving them a feathery look. I am sure they were a sight to behold when they roamed the fungal forests, though I am sure their huge size would be a little frightening. According to the tales, a full grown Malicrus reached to length of about 70 feet (this number is shaky due to both conversions and hyperbole that often sneaks its way into stories). They were truly a titanic creature, and a good chunk of this impressive length was its head and neck. Like an armor plated snake, this neck had surprising flexibility and maneuverability, allowing it to wrap around prey and hold tight. Their heavy tail and six limbs were used to help stabilize the Malicrus when its used its neck, and it also helped to anchor it when wrestling with feisty prey. This was important, because they fed mainly on another huge species, the Halugyth, and they did not go down easy. If you have seen a Halugyth, then you already know that taking down one of these beasts is no easy task. They are utterly massive, with long necks and lance-like spines. It would seem crazy to hunt this species alone, but the Malicrus were designed to topple these titans. By following scents and sound, the adult Malicrus would locate a Halugyth and look to take it on face-to-face. Since both species are so huge, running and chasing isn't really an option, so they instead do stand-offs. The Halugyth would look to keep its dorsal spines pointed at the Malicrus and its vulnerable neck out of grabbing range. The Malicrus would seek to attack from the front and get a claw hooked into the serpentine neck. The large curved front claws helped to snare the evading neck and hold it still, while the Malicrus' own neck would wrap around and hold tight. Anchoring its limbs, the Malicrus would keep the Halugyth from thrashing itself free, while its oral arms got to work. Located on its face were two flexible arms that were covered in sharp hooked spines, and these nasty limbs did the most damage. The Malicrus would wrap these oral arms around the soft flesh of the neck and squeeze, causing the sharp spikes to saw through the meat. While these arms sliced in deeper and deeper, the beaked mouth located behind them would also gnaw on the neck, until they essentially decapitated the Halugyth. While sadly such a scene can only be witnessed in paintings and carvings now, it still is incredible to look at! To see two great beasts wrestle until one rips the other's head right off! It sure is morbid, but I have to say it really sounds cool. 

While the Malicrus focused its hunts mainly on the Halugyth, they did consume other prey. Isodons and the Propabis were potential food sources, as their thick armor did nothing against the powerful oral arms of the Malicrus. It would seize the comparatively small creature in its oral arms and squeeze, cracking them open like a nut! It was said no creature was safe from the hunger of the Malicrus, and I have heard the demons compare this creature to the dragons we have up above. The great titan ruled the fungal forests like a king, and all fled from its ravenous jaws. Like all rulers, though, such tyrants must some day fall. What brought about the end of the Malicrus was the advancement and expansion of the sapient denizens of the Underworld: demons and shades. As their society developed and their cities grew, they sought to expand their reach and connect with more of the Underworld. One must remember that the Underworld is not structured like our wide open surface above; if you want to go somewhere, you have to hope there is a tunnel that goes there. Imagine if you lived in a world where you could only walk on roads, and that every other space was a solid, inaccessible wall. If you wanted to go to one town, you have to follow a specific network to get there. And if there is no road that makes a shortcut nearby, then too bad! So with this, the demons and shades started to dig and tunnel their way through the known world, connecting their homes and creating a network that brought everything together. Places once sealed off or only accessible through one or two tunnels were now caught in a spider web of activity. The demons and shades now had a wider range of movement, and so did everything else that lived down there. Before, the Malicrus remained relatively isolated in their fungal forests, with only a few sources of food they could rely on. With their habitat now connected to a whole slew of new ecosystems and food webs, things began to rapidly change, and not for the better. Though the titanic adult Malicrus could not take advantage of these demon-sized tunnels, it was a different story for the young. When born, the Malicrus larvae come out the size of cows, and they are a much different beast. At this young stage, their armor is not as interlocked and their limbs are much thinner, making them much more agile and quick. This was important for them, as they needed to be able to chase down prey and grab them in their crushing arms. While the Malicrus laid dozens of eggs, the limited supply of food insured that only a few young would survive to reach adulthood. When things got dire, it was said that the young would turn upon each other and devour their own kind. This ensured that the population stayed at a manageable size, and that the strongest Malicrus would survive. This system, though, was utterly destroyed when the expansion occurred. Now connected to an entire network of food sources, the young Malicrus instead chose migration over cannibalism, leaving their home territories in search of more food. Soon packs of hungry armored predators flooded the tunnels, and they devoured anything they could get their spiny arms on. At first they ate the Isodons, then the Propabis, then the Armored Mole Rats and Rock Leeches. It wasn't long before every species was on the menu for these greedy beasts, and this included the demons and shades. While the legends and tales speak of heroic efforts and valiant battles, the stories kept away from outsiders and surface dwellers are ones of terror and bloodshed. The people of the Underworld did not expect such a thing to occur, and so when the Malicrus breeding season came, their homes were soon swarmed with vicious larvae. They burst from the tunnels, they tore into dwellings and they went after every morsel they could find. Their natural armor helped ward off weapons, while their claws and powerful arms crushed metal and tore flesh. Miners and traders vanished as they traveled through the tunnels, and towns were besieged when a hungry pack caught wind of food. The expansion that was meant to open new roads and connections soon resulted in sealed tunnels and barred doors, as the people desperately sought to fend off the hordes. With so much death and destruction, the people of the Underworld knew they had to act before their society crumbled. Armies were made and every town and cavern enlisted all the able bodies they could find. Battalions of hunters marched into the tunnels, slaying every Malicrus they could find. They used bait to lure the hordes to them, and then brought fire and stone down upon their heads. Entire packs were sealed inside tunnels and then burned alive, while walls of shield and spear drove them off cliffs. While the hunters sought to exterminate the larvae, the adults were not left off this kill list. Due to the bountiful food sources and the migrating young, the adults were now laying even more eggs in response, which meant that such a disaster would happen again and again with each breeding season. The blades and flames turned to the adults, and the hunt was on to topple these giants. Hunters climbed up the fungal trees, carrying massive spears of obsidian. Shades would possess these huge spikes and then drop them onto the Malicrus below. A rain of spears from the heavens pierced their armor and crippled their limbs, while battalions attacked with hooks and chains. The great beasts were restrained and pinned down, so that the demons could drive white hot stakes into their heads. Throughout the entire Underworld, the Malicrus found themselves the new targets of a massacre, and their species was wiped out. For years, the forests and tunnels were searched for eggs and larvae, ensuring that none escaped the slaughter. When time passed and the hordes never showed, the Underworld declared the war over and the Malicrus extinct. Gone from the Underworld this great beast was, the only remains of its kind being found in trophies, weapons and ornamental armor. As the decades and centuries passed, even these began to vanish, leaving only carvings and murals for me to witness this ancient leviathan. With so much time passing since the extinction of the Malicrus, I was hard pressed to get any real info. The Underworld is not huge on museums and preservation efforts, so its not like any specimens remain for study. All that I have written was gathered from my helpful guides, and some fine folk who humored my inquisitiveness. I am thankful for the stories that were shared with me, and I can see why such a species could not survive in this new world. Even then, I still feel saddened by their death. What befell them was not their fault, they were just adapting to a quickly changing environment. I cannot blame the people either, as they had no idea that such a change to the Underworld's structure would lead to bloodshed. Who could've predicted a disaster like this? Who could have imagined that an effort to connect and thrive would cause a massacre? At the time, no one could, but with this knowledge now perhaps we can better foresee these things. Changing the environment and world causes changes to everyone and everything. It is foolish to think that such actions would only affect the willing party. As we build, grow and expand, we must be mindful of what we do and what we change, or we may bring about another extinction. It is a tale we know all too well. But perhaps this is not the end of the Malicrus. The Underworld is a massive place, with its citizens only living in a few layers of it. There are so many layers and realms left unexplored, worlds left isolated and sealed. Perhaps somewhere the great Malicrus still lives, striding through its domain, oblivious to the fate of its brethren. A pocket cavern could remain isolated from the network, keeping these two worlds safely separate. It is an interesting thought, but you know what? I hope we never find out. I hope we never discover these hidden worlds, because that will inevitably result in their destruction. Let us remain apart, let us remain ignorant of each others existence. That way we may both live in oblivious peace, and I may dream of a fiery titan watching over its hidden kingdom.   Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ------------------------------------------------- More Underworld beasties! Well, kind of.... To be honest this kind of makes me sad.      

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: 18

Book 18

Narrated by Aximili

Again I really wish something had come of the andalite traitors thing

Ax’s audience is other andalites

Leera’s like the only planet besides Earth to get an actual name in this joint

Andalites don’t use money

Ax is tryin g to work to get money to buy food

Ax needs to stop dicking around in human morph b;c he’s gonna getsomeone in trouble, possibly killed

This manager is actually a nice person

So Marco caught Ax

They are retelling the event at Cassie’s barn]

They are waiting for news from Erek

So was Ax? Alone at the damn mall? I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again there are rocks smarter than these kids

Erik has hidden chee with him

Of course Tobias fucking spots them all, its not like the chee could make themselves invisible

Hewlett Aldershot the Third, that’s a serious name

Yeerks wanna infest im for reasons and had Iness hit him with a car

Is this the same yeerk infested hospital from an earlier book? I guess boiling a bunch of folks alive and a minor wildlife rampage didn’t do shit.

Marco’s snippy when bored

So, either Visser 3 knows how to morph regular clothes or isn’t hamped by them at all and no one feels the need to mention them ripping through some while morphiong

Yeerks can’t do anything with a comatose host. 

Either the head of the secret service is a lady or the president is

That’s not really how wings work forget it

People have to be seeing this 6 winged bird thing chasing a seagull

Also apparently the kafit is some kinda bird of prey

Ax’s seagull morph has talons apparently

Visser 3 is scared of getting into a tail fight

Visser 3 thinks a teenager can beat him.

They’re right b/c they are shit at fighting

Stand face to face for even more opportunity to injure yerself and give yer opponent a better shot at yer head

Visser 3 nopes out of the fight, breaking a leg in the fall, but morphing human fast

Too much protein keeps Aximili awake

Dinnier at Cassie’s ment a lot for Ax

Ax races around as he wrestles with his thoughts and goes to Tobias to talk about feeliongs

Yeerks infultrating the andalite homeworld was an interesting idea and the writers are cowards

Shut up Cassie

Cassie you liar

If they could aquire from say blood alone, then why don’t they just try acquiring from parts of animals like ever?

Rachel is concerned about blood borne diseases and doesn’t know how most of those are contracted

Ax that sounds like bullshit. 

Ax you just hang with little squeemish bitches

Andalites have weak slow baby hands

How exactly do they plan to acquire blood that they ate as a mosquito? If they eat it it starts to break down from digestion and would be decently degraded by the time they vomit it back up and try to acquire from it.

A random sick kid has seen Ax and now knows his name

More humans have seen Ax

And like what reason with the yeerks have to let witnesses go like? Good job at getting more folks enslaved Ax

Ax thinks about collateral damage for once

...that’s a false surrender. Good job Ax! Not no one on yer side can ever actually surrender! Also a war crime.

Ax jumps out a window and morphs mosquito

That’s still not how compound eyes work

Pop

And now in the imaginary place

Huh, Ax and the animorphs get to see themselves in a 4 dimensional? view

Like tesseracts made of meat

Neat

Why, exactly would Tobias., who is in morph in ya know the shape of a bird not appear as a human jigsaw as well in this place?

They got dragged into Z space by a passing ship

And resqued by an andalite crew

The animorphs and Ax made a scientific breakthrough

.7 Andalite years stuck on Earth

I havent gotten to thhat book on my re read but everything you just said was wrong Ax

So there are multiple pool ships and such

Aximili doesnt actually have to stay with you all

He can fight yeerks where ever he pleases and really kinda needs to see others of his own kind every now and then

That grass probably tastes good as fuck tho after almost a year in Earth grass

Andalites being speciest

“May your great god Cha-Ma-Mib smile on you this day.” religious space frogs

“The continent loomed larger and larger. Most of it was lush and green, primarily jungle. Green like Earth's forests and jungles, but with wide swaths of some brilliant yellow vegetation, too. The northern end of the continent was less fertile, more barren, probably colder.”

Leera

The captian is a traitor

Also it is apparently pretty damn easy to take out andalites if you have even the slightest amount of drop on them

Visser 3 and Visser 4 are friends

That tailless dick fortified and used a weapon

The animorphs decided not to stick around in just listening to orders

Gonna blow the kids out an airlock and hope they survive

None of these fucks think to get in a damn fighter craft or emergency escape and attempt to survive

Just, welp folks we’re fucked time for some suicide!

Also the captain wasn’t even a controller, just willingly on the yeerk’s side

On the one hand Ax did abandon them. On the other the animorphs are not entitled to his service

Also this just isn’t the right time to pick on Ax

This is reallt not the right fucking time, Marco and Rachel are either trying to get themselves or someone else killed with their bullshit

Tobias u fucking chose to live in the woods as a wild animal, Aximili didn’t choose to be marroned on an alien world

You feathery asshole

Tobias vanished

Adi-fuckin-os

The yeerk forces are doing well on ground battle

Ax, the animorphs, the andalites, and the writers have failed ecology

Rachel vanished

The writers just really fucking hate sharks

“The water was perfectly, utterly clear. We were swimming in water that was forty feet deep, and we could see every detail on the ocean floor.

 And what detail! Huge, billowing creatures like white and yellow sails, triangular with biological propellers at each corner. Brilliant, electric-blue worms or snakes, each seventy feet long, swimming in wild schools. A bizarre creature that rose and fell through the water by blowing air into a bladder so thin it was almost transparent. A wonderful sort of fish in the shape of a screw that rotated its way through the water.

 And these creatures weren't scattered here and there, but everywhere. The Leeran ocean was a madhouse of life-forms.

 Spread around across the ocean were bubbling chimneys of rock and soil, encrusted with squirming, writhing creatures, small and less small. My shark senses could feel the electrical discharge from these chimneys, and the intense warmth. As I watched, a massive school of the brilliant blue worms came swirling around one of the chimneys. It swirled and my shark senses could feel the energy flow from the chimney into the worms.”

There would still be fucking predators u nits

“They were mostly yellow. They had skin that was slimy, as if covered with ooze, yet rough in texture, like gravel. They had large, webbed back legs. For arms they had four tentacles arrayed around their plump, barrel-shaped bodies.  The head was quite large, with a bulge at the back. It sat right on the shoulders. There was no neck. The face bulged outward and seemed to have just two features. A huge, wide, almost ridiculous mouth. And big, bulging eyes of a green that seemed almost to be lit from inside.

 There were four Leerans. They were riding on water jets. The water jets were long, narrow tubes, flared in front to make a sort of wing, flared again in back to give extra

maneuverability. Arrayed along the back wing were clusters of very narrow tubes pointed forward.”

Leerans

The crew free some leerans (granted they were going to kill them) b/c the leerans showed them how to get the yeerks out of them

The team morph leerans and are uncomfortable with knowing eachother’s thoughts

Oh what normal space ships arent good enough for crushing ocean pressures now? Gotta have actual submarines?

A lot of these high ranking andalites are quick to yelling and threats of violence aint they

That is a very iffy plan not the least being the yeerks with their mostly terrestrial shock troops would have likely set up camp there anyway it seems. But if u wanna throw away lives who cares

Marco vanished

Talking to scientists and shit

Actually Jake, if all of you vanish b4 u carry out the mission it will be too late for a back up

A world with no predators my ass

Cassie vanishes

Ah, so yeah bats aint flying with torn to shit wings. They’s ded

Jake vanished

How exactly did the andalites get the shit in there in the first place?

Hah, the hork hosts have rocket boosters

Aximili is saved by vanishing

So why were they snapped back in mosquito morph and not just flund full force back into their real bodies

And why snap them all back to the same moment and not staggared into different moments in time

How the fuck did this man feel a damn mosquito bite? A notible aspect of mosquitoes as that we don’t really feel them biting

Genral yeerk panicking over management

End with scene at mall

[lokispettigerr]

In The Flesh- Loki POV x Original Female Character (Part 1)

If you like this please please tap that reblog :) . It is huge encouragement.

*Not 100% set on POV in later parts

Part 2

Fic Summary: (Part 1- Loki’s POV) Loki tells of one of the visions the Tesseract cursed him with. In his vision he sees a woman confined and decides he will do anything in his power to help her.

Timeline: The Avengers movie

Word Count: 1,616

Warnings: Mention of Child abuse and some Violence

A/N: This fic is set during "The Avengers"

****If you would like to be on the general taglist OR the taglist for this fic please leave me an ask. I will make it happen and would be happy to do it!

I am Loki, Prince of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.

When I was a child, things weren’t easy– ever. In fact, they were very, very hard. There were always forces in opposition, pushing and pulling with hatred and obsessions. I was caught in the middle of it all, like the offspring of a spider made prey by its own parentage. However, the spider wasn’t my true parent. To Odin, our spider on the web, I was something vile, corrupt, without order; something chaotic that needed to be put in its place.

And so, as a child, young and blind to the incongruicies and discriminations of life, I accepted Odin’s treatment of me. Somehow, as a child used to a life of malice and ill will, you just believe there is nothing better out there—for it is what you have always known.

Can you perhaps, relate?

I truly believed, with burning conviction there was nothing better out there, in the nine realms. I suppose I wanted to so desperately feel that no matter the treatment I received, that it was fatherly, unconditional love in its purest form. That is, until I started to get a glimpse of the world and the blind was removed from my eyes like fetters falling from the wrongfully imprisoned. And much like the wrongfully imprisoned, the one that has been left to rot in a cell, away from all mankind, away from light, touch, sound, out of sight—when I was unintentionally and haphazardly released from the bonds that held me, I began to dream. And when I began to dream I began to court danger. That’s how it all starts isn’t it? Danger often times comes with dreams, perhaps they are cousins, or lovers, or both. Imaginably both, that must be why they give birth to fear. Fear being an all-consuming debilitating emotion, something I am all too familiar with. Something all too familiar with me. Try as I might, I like to think fear has no hold over me any more after all those years long ago when I was a child living in the shadow of the spider. However, this is comically wrong, for I encountered fear again when the Tesseract gave me a dream. But more on that later.

Now then, if I am not the offspring of the spider what am I? I am the child of hunger. The child of desire for something to fill a yawning emptiness so vast the void could consume the stars. I am the child of those people who starved, and in their starvation they became what appear to be monsters. They are called “Jotuns”, and are of Jotunheim. The Jotuns are the natural enemy of Asgard, at least as long as Odin ruled. For an enemy without, strengthens a ruler within. Thus if Jotuns are the enemy then I too am the enemy. In truth, my people are a harsh cold lot, brutal to the core. It is only ever bound to happen when the land they live yields nothing but perpetuating emptiness and desolation, something that only can birth bitterness. Think about that one a while—something that can only birth bitterness.

But now, perhaps, I am dancing around the question, “what am I?”. You see, one of my downfalls is that I like to withhold knowledge, something I may be able to use again at a later date when it better suits me. For now, I am fluid like water, but with much more bite, so let’s say like fire. Simply put, I am a monster. The monster that parents warn their children of at night. Of course because I have only ever yielded destruction, or so I have only ever been told. I am rage and chaos in the flesh—that is something you can trust—my rage.

In truth, I am whatever you want me to be, or even whatever you have need of me to be. Whoever you think I am, I will be—for you of course, and perhaps for a price.

My story however, will vary about as much as I do, it all depends on who you ask. In order for you to see me, there is something I need to show you. You can judge me how you wish from there; I have room for that.

I began rather benign I think. Not that anyone has ever asked my story, but through all the abuse I endured I think I started to lose myself.

There was a time, when I did commit unspeakable acts, but before I ever started on the precipice of that catastrophic journey, unspeakable acts were performed on me. It is not time however, for me to share these unspeakable acts with you—to unburden myself. I do however, have a name to give you, and perhaps you have heard of him. If so, then you know enough… Thanos. I endured torture at Thanos’ hands. For what? All to acquire a stone, but it wasn’t your average stone. The Tesseract was a glorious gateway between the realms. Unfortunately, her power could be used for the triumph of evil, and so it was. While she possessed unspeakable power she also came with her own burdens. She could enlighten, so to speak, the mind of the beholder. Have you ever heard the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well to her, to the Tesseract, the beholder is in the eye of beauty, really. She shows you what she wishes and you become her thrall—even gods are not immune to her. Her visions are a way for her to protect her secrets. To protect herself.

This is where I come in. I was made to go after the Tesseract and she showed me many things, dreams and worlds beyond measure, beyond even the understanding of a god.

Such an odd thing really, behold the stone and you see everything it wants you to see, vividly, breathing, beating, radiating, pulsating—and me, there in the middle of it. Another spider and another web. Well, her visions happen in an instant, much like falling down an intergalactic wormhole at the speed of light, or even the Bifrost.

The Tesseract, doing what she does, in a way to protect herself, showed me a vision she knew would break me, driving me into madness—of course, the only way to end the madness was to do as she bid.

In just a heart shattering moment, something that I wanted to last an eternity, or one of my life times, I saw a woman. A woman who very much was a girl. Interestingly, initially she could have been taken for a wounded bird—something broken and battered, bleeding her wounds too many to count. Perhaps trampled by too many Bilge-snipe.

I saw her chained in a harshly lit, glass cage. She was cowering naked in a corner, holding her legs to her breasts. Possibly in hopes to hold onto something to gain comfort and stability. Her head was down, wild hair cascading like liquid daggers all around her. I could hear her quiet, musical sobs. I pitied this poor creature, because something inside of her sent an echo of a memory penetrating through me. This little wounded bird was trapped in a spider’s web too– like I had been most of my childhood. My soul reached out to her wanting to free her from her confinement, and I took a steady stride towards her. She sensed my presence. Her mind caressed mine at that moment, and her head snapped up savagely. I froze in my tracks. She did not want me to come near her. I could feel her fear radiating from her, sending shell surging shocks throughout the air. I knew something then. I had been very much mistaken.

This creature was no wounded bird. She was a threat. She was a white tiger posing as a mortal, playing some deadly game. Her green eyes glowing with infinite hatred and something more. Hunger. There was only one place I had seen hunger that savage, it was the hunger my people possessed. This threatening girl, with her blood red lips and icy skin sensed me, even though I was not physically there with her. She continued to study my energy—I wondered what she sensed about me. While I wanted to move closer to her, I was unable to. I was trapped in snares she set for me. Our chains could have made for a matching set. I did what I could, and took as much of her in as possible. One thing was for certain, this tiger in mortal flesh was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on.  Imaginably, one of the most dangerous too—someone that could come of some use to me later on. Yes, the Tesseract was good. It’s plan for me set. I am certain, if even I wanted to look away from her I would not have been able to. This tiger girl had snared me in more ways than one, and so had the Tesseract.

Without consent the vision was ripped from me, leaving me breathless, disoriented, and enraged, but not before I got a mental image of my surroundings—most notably, a steel plaque on the wall, back-lit with harsh fluorescent, casting a deformed shadow on the floor “S.H.I.E.L.D.” it said. And there, just outside of the girl’s prison, a dark-skinned man cloaked in shadow wearing a grim expression and an eye-patch. He studied her with the same intensity I had.

I had everything I needed. Somehow I would find her, no matter the cost.

I will upload the teaser for part 2 most likely within the next week.

Again, please reblog if you enjoyed. I would be forever grateful friends! I love feedback friends!

***I take requests, leave me an ask.

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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this! Peace friends!

General Taglist: @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77

[thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am]

😏 I am here to spam, friend. 1. “I am not here to kill you! I’m here for bread!”

Blackhill, can be considered a companion piece to yesterday’s prompt (because of the claws and claw marks metaphore, but doesn’t need to be read to read this or viceversa (can you tell I’m into weird metaphore and dark stuff lately?) Enjoy! (also if someone knows why Tumblr keeps fucking up my spacing on mobile please lemme know cause it makes me wanna cry)

Maria ison medical leave when it happens. Two weeks mandatory leave until herarm has healed properly, so the doctor said. She’s at the grocerystore two blocks away from her apartment and this is too close for itto be a coincidence, for her to be here by mistake.

They sayBlack Widow likes to set her traps, likes to act like the creaturewhose name she’s made her own, likes to arrange a web and wait forher prey to fall into it all on their own so that, really, they onlyhave themselves to blame for being so reckless, they have to shareher blame and guilt in their own demise.

When Mariaspots her, in that grocery store, there might as well be web threadsscattered all around her, because there is no doubt this is where shefalls into a trap.

She hasher gun aimed between Black Widow’s eyes before the woman even fullyturns to her, her left hand is steady but it’s still her weak handand she’s sure she doesn’t stand a chance if the Black Widow came forher, not with her broken wing.

“Youcame here to kill me, in a grocery store, while I’m on medical leave?That’s low, even for you,” she sees green eyes look in surprise atthe barrel of her gun, then travel up, up, up until they meet her ownand recognition finally reaches them.

Her handsslowly go up. “I’m not here to kill you! I’m here for bread!” Sheslightly shakes the hand that’s holding a loaf of it.

Mariascoffs and keeps her gun steady, trying to decide what to do next.

“Hard tobelieve Red Room sent you grocery shopping.”

“I don’twork with them anymore.”

“Hard tobelieve that, too.”

Sheshrugs, then throws the bread in Maria’s general direction. She hasthe gun in one hand and the other is held against her torso by hersling, so her only option is to duck and lose sight of Black Widowfor all of two seconds. That’s all it takes for her to disappear intothin air.

The nextsixteen hours, Maria barely breaths. She thinks about calling Fury,calling for back-up, or just going to the Triskelion and lock herselfup in her office until she’s sure New York is safe again. But shewon’t let fear win. So she waits it out.

Sureenough, Black Widow finds her apartment easily, breaking in throughthe window like Maria Hill doesn’t live on the fifth floor of abuilding with no fire escape stairs. Maria has been waiting, gun inhand, her right arm sore since she’s stopped taking painkillers, buther mind is already clearer.

Mariadoesn’t need to ask why her and why now; Black Widow’s an assassin,but she’s also a hacker and it wouldn’t be too hard to know she’s onleave and in New York. With her right arm out of order. Then again,of all the things they don’t know about Natalia Romanova they do knowsomething for sure, she never had a taste for mercy. Maria’s an easytarget and Black Widow doesn’t miss.

“I’m nothere to kill you.”

Mariadoesn’t believe her.

“I’mhere to surrender myself.”

Mariadoesn’t believe that, either. But she knows that there’s no other wayout for her but lowering her gun and taking Black Widow where shewants to be taken, she knows nobody has ever survived her if shehadn’t want them to. Her skin feels sticky when she gets up andgestures with her gun to the door, motioning for the other woman towalk ahead of her, like she just walked into a spider web face first.

When shewas little, so young she barely remembered it, she found a small birdwith a broken wing in her backyard, she brought it to her grandmotherand asked her to help her fix him. She took him to a vet, had hiswing set, fed him water through a dropper, loved him instantly andimmensely. Her grandmother told her not to get attached, becausebirds were not meant to be kept in cages. The bird healed, then flewaway unevenly, his wing not quite the same it had been before,mindless to the fact that Maria still loved him.

That’swhat happens when a cat hunts, when he takes a bite of you. You’renever quite the same you had been before. But you fly, if thealternative is staying in a cage.

Maria hadtried to convince her grandmother to keep him; she named him Charlieand loved him even though her grandma said she shouldn’t. She couldnot bring herself to keep him in a cage, but she cried when he flewaway.

Shewondered if birds loved cats, if they got too close sometimes and itwas just a cat’s nature to make a prey out of them because of theircuriosity. She wondered if humans were like that sometimes, too.

Marialoved her father, even though she shouldn’t have. She learned quicklyhow to adapt to cages and broken wings and how some humans werehunters by nature.

Marialoved picking fights, the taste of lemon liquor, and motorcycles. Hergrandmother was right; she had always loved things she shouldn’thave.

She neverquite liked cats, never learned how to love their ways of coming andgoing, never knew that love sometimes doesn’t mean staying, that itcan mean coming back.

NatashaRomanoff is dangerous and hard and the last thing Maria should everlearn to do is love her. She learns it anyway.

NatashaRomanoff comes and goes, like a cat, and is sometimes gone for weeks.She doesn’t love Maria back, but that is not a problem and kind offoregone. Maria plays the prey part well, knows when to let herselfget caught and when to run away, and Natasha keeps chasing her likethere’s nothing else in the world worth a second glance until she’sgot her.

There’srumors and labels thrown around S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters: BlackWidow is a sociopath; Black Widow is a psychopath; Black Widow is afrail girl in desperate need of saving; Black Widow is a story, alegend and nothing more, Natasha Romanoff just wears her mask well.Maria knows these to be lies, some more than others.

NatashaRomanoff enters her apartment through the window, even when shedoesn’t have to, because she doesn’t like to knock and get invitedin, rather she chooses where to be and when. She shows affection withno words but just by being there, like a cat. Maybe, Maria thinks ona night she’s feeling particularly honest with herself, there is noaffection at all to be shown. Natasha likes to use her, likes the wayMaria makes her feel human, likes the way Maria is inclined to give,give, give until there’s nothing left to gift. She likes how Mariahates people but likes her, lets her get away with things she neverwould stand in someone else.

Natashaisn’t sure she can even feel love. What she can feel, especially whenthey’re in a state of undress that makes it blatantly obvious Mariais completely disarmed, is the distinct lack of the urge to get ridof her. She usually gets that with everyone she has to spend morethan ten minutes with, she prefers to be on her own. But Maria isokay, kind of. She doesn’t hate having her close by, she has grown tobarely dislikes the look in her eyes when Maria looks at her, and shesometimes even likes to stay after they have sex for no other reasonbut the soothing rhythm of another human being’s heart – notMaria’s, she tells herself, just any heart. She wonders if she’slying to herself, but decides she doesn’t care.

Mariashouldn’t get attached to her, shouldn’t fall in love with stickyhands from the webs around her, shouldn’t be indifferent to the factthat, if this is a trap, she’s already fallen in it a long timebefore.

She fallsin love slowly but immensely, with the constant knowledge that,unavoidable as it is, Natasha can’t love her back.

Mariacan’t bring herself to care, or to stop.

For a longtime, Maria doesn’t trust Natasha further than her hand can reach.She waits for the trap to snap, she waits for the fallback. Theyunravel together, trust can only work that way, they learn how to bedefenseless with each other and it’s recharging, those walls theykeep up are exhausting.

Natashahas a cat, pitch black, named Liho. Maria hates her and the cat hatesMaria, they avoid each other as much as possible, until one nightMaria sees her staring at her from the floor while she’s pouring aglass of water and decides to squat down and holds her hand up. Lihosniffs it with disinterest, then gives it a tentative lick. She gnawsat Maria’s fingers, then tries to catch one between her paws whenMaria wiggles them.

When sherises after a couple of minutes, her palm as a small scratch and abite mark. She wonders if maybe she had it wrong all this time, ifmaybe it’s cats who love birds and sometimes get too close and end uphurting them because they have no other way to love them.

Thatthought hurts her a little and she feels a sadness she can’t explain.

Natashalikes that Maria doesn’t hold the fact that she can’t love her backagainst her. It makes her feel guilty, sometimes, that she can’t giveher that, that she can’t love Maria the way Maria seems to love her.On her part, Maria is careful never to say it and to only show itwhen it can’t be helped.

Natashaknows it stings, it harshly tugs something inside Maria that she’snever let anyone reach before, she knows she’s leaving claw marks allover Maria’s heart, but she can’t help it; this is the only way sheknows how to be with her.

It’sunfair.

She triesto cut her own claws off. Gives Maria a key to her apartment, keepslemon liquor – she hates it, hates the taste of it, hates the veryidea of it – next to her favorite vodka in her cabinet, she letsMaria leave stuff, bit by bit, until her things are scatteredthorough Natasha’s place, she tries not to hurt her anymore.

Mariadoesn’t seem overly concerned. She never asks Natasha to love herback, to hold her hand or stupid stuff like that, to tell theirfriends they’ve been seeing each other for months, for over a year atthis point.

She letsNatasha take, take, take, up until the day Natasha starts giving.Giving her a key, space, liquor, giving her anything she can think ofgiving Maria so she can be as content as Natasha feels on the nightsshe gets to sleep with Maria’s heartbeat under her ear.

One time,Maria mentions wanting to learn how to brew beer and Natasha signsthem up for a class, giving as the only explanation: “Anything youwant, I can get it for you.”

Marialooks at her funny, she knows Natasha means that she can get anythingfor her in lieu of loving her back, but she also knows, Clint is likea brother to her and he once asked her to borrow five bucks andNatasha laughed in his face, insulted capitalism, and left him withan empty stomach and the knowledge she didn’t like to take care ofothers like she didn’t care when others took care of her.

The thingis, Natasha takes care of Maria in every single way she can.

Mariaknows it before her, maybe that’s why she never asks anything of her,she never asks to be loved back.

One day,she just points at Natasha’s chest after she spent an hour cookingMaria’s favorite dish, and tells her: “That thing that makes you dothis kind of stuff, listen to that thing and tell me it’s notscreaming love.”

Natashascoffs, but listens carefully. That thing inside her has no claws,doesn’t hurt, doesn’t take but likes to give. That thing inside her,if she indulges it, will fill up her whole body with its warmth andstrength. That thing has no reason to be there, but it is,nonetheless. Natasha wonders for how long Maria has known Natashaloved her, how long she could hear it from inside her chest, whenNatasha refused to hear it herself.

Natashadidn’t walk inside that grocery shop to kill her, wasn’t there to seta trap. Maria fell into it anyway.

[sunshineandfangs]

Klaroween || Corn Maze

Caroline finally showed up at Klaus’ door, but this is not what he intended when he promised to show her the world.

Warnings: this one got weird...show typical violence, some semi-graphic gore, implied past rape and cannibalism (NOT of Klaroline, and they get their comeuppance)

"Caroline when you showed up at my door and asked to see the world, I didn't think our first stop would be a bloody corn maze."

Klaus cast his unimpressed gaze around the farm in Indiana, hands shoved in his jean pockets. The perfect picture of sulking hybrid.

"Oh, lighten up Klaus! I always wanted to do one of these, and I like Stranger Things. It was the perfect combo."

Caroline, meanwhile, was bouncing on the balls of her feet. The perfect picture of giddy teenager, albeit a decade or so removed.

Klaus just heaved a sigh, knowing he would concede in the end. He found it was very hard to resist Caroline Forbes. At least she wasn't attempting to get him to wear ridiculous Halloween costumes again. Or decorate The Abattoir for Easter of all things. And despite what Kol said, he didn't capitulate to all of Caroline's whims. Just some of them. Most of the time.

Taking his hand, Caroline tugged him forward and out of his drifting thoughts.

"Now we have options," she said brightly, gesturing at the posted map on their website. Tapping on her phone to zoom in, she scrolled the image around, holding it in his direction. "See, it's technically four interconnected labyrinthine style mazes." She ignored Klaus' derisive muttering about giving people a map. "Together it totals 10 miles of pathway spread across 20 acres." She gave Klaus a pointed look, "And I know you can hear clear across it, but us mere mortals can't. So try to contain yourself."

"There's nothing mere or mortal about you, love," he whispered in her ear.

She pushed him away with an eye roll.

"You know what I meant, Klaus, stop trying to distract me with flirting. We're going to do this corn maze! Now here's what's going to happen…"

Caroline laughed as she occasionally blurred through empty sections of the maze, making to sure to wander at a human pace whenever she heard others come near. Klaus was somewhere in the opposite corner of the maze. The goal, as she had told him, was to find one another while exploring as many pathways as possible. And she had very strictly forbidden his Original Hybrid hearing, knowing he could tune most of it out if he so chose.

She carefully planned it that way as Caroline had a secret goal of her own. She was hoping she could give him a wide enough berth to circle around and sneak up on him. She was well aware it was very unlikely, but that was half the fun. Plus, if she actually managed it, she would hold it over his head for years!

Focused on her musings as she was, she didn't register the people who snuck up on her. She had just enough time to think that Klaus would kill her for getting kidnapped in a damned corn maze.

Returning to consciousness as a vampire was still a bit of an odd experience for Caroline. Unlike humans who woke slowly, all faculties returned to a vampire in an instant. It was like blinking, if blinking could change the surroundings in what seemed like an instant.

After several years as a vampire, and an irritating number of kidnappings, Caroline had long since mastered the art of controlling the instinct to immediately open her eyes. Taking stock of her surroundings, Caroline noted a few very surprising things.

First, while she was bound, it was with plain rope. Not vervain soaked rope. Not chains. Second, no one was posted nearby to monitor her. Third, she couldn't detect the odd buzzing hum on her skin that she had learned to associate with witchcraft.

Was-was she taken by a run of the mill serial killer or something?!

While it was the best case scenario, it was embarrassing for humans to have gotten the jump on her. Sure, she was technically still a baby vamp, and she would be for several more decades, but she had lived through Mystic Falls, for God's sake!

Withholding her desire to voice her exasperation audibly, in case she missed something, she strained her ears to listen for her soon to be very regretful kidnappers. A floor above her she caught their mutterings.

"'Ey Pete, we got ourselves a pretty one."

"Very pretty, very soft."

Withholding a shudder of revulsion, Caroline wondered what kind of sickos had her. Now, she was actually rather glad they managed to take her. Better her than some actual teenaged girl, because Caroline had fangs, and she could bite back.

She tuned back into their conversation.

"She'll be delicious. First to play with. Then to eat!"

Okay, what the fuck? Were they cannibals?!

Having heard enough, Caroline opened her eyes and easily snapped the ropes that had been knotted around her wrists and ankles. She stood and took a quick glance around, checking for any evidence that they weren't humans. She still wasn't sure how they knocked her out after all. However, she saw nothing but a barren and dark cell

Slipping out of it was simple. There was a barred door, not unlike an old-style prison cell, but it too easily yielded to her. Refusing to drop her guard a second time in one day, Caroline carefully crept down a rather short hallway that ended in stairs. She opted to head down first, just to survey everything.

She was glad she did.

Even having lived with Klaus and the rest of his often psychotic siblings for a few years now, she was disgusted by what she found. The rooms were somehow sealed off, as even looking right at the horror show before her, she didn't smell anything. And in each room was one macabre display after another.

Gnawed on bones. Entire sheets of dried blood. Most of the bodies were old and completely decomposed. Others were in varying stages of rotting and she could tell they had been brutalized in every sense of the word. All the identifiable corpses were women and some of their stomachs curved to suggest they died just after a pregnancy.

Revolted and appalled, Caroline quickly blurred down the corridor checking for hidden doors or possible survivors. There were none. Just tens and tens of rooms filled with rot and body parts. She quickly left, promising the dead their tormentors would pay.

Stealthily, Caroline moved upstairs to where she had heard the voices, listening closely to every heartbeat. 

It was shockingly easy to sneak up on them. 

Without mercy she snapped every neck, noting how they were all filthy and deformed. Unsure if they were mutated humans or a creature she hadn't heard of, she returned to every body and ripped off heads and tore out hearts.

She continued through all of the rooms making sure to double and triple check for stairs or hidden passage ways. Once she was assured she had destroyed them all, she found a chair to wait in, mentally and emotionally exhausted. She knew Klaus would come for her and he would hopefully be more knowledgeable about what she had stumbled in to. Settling in to wait, she kept her back to the wall.

It didn't take him long. A few minutes later a door few off its hinges and across the room where it slammed into the wall. In the entrance way stood Klaus, eyes blazing gold, a web of black veins bulging angrily, fangs fully descended. The vicious snarl across his face vanished as soon as he set eyes on her.

In an instant he was crouched before her, eyes and hands scanning for any hidden injuries.

"What happened, Caroline?" He asked, a growl in his tone, eyes blazing with a rage that currently had no target.

"I'm not sure. Something knocked me out and I woke up here. They didn't seem to realize I was a vampire, and killing them was easy." Caroline's relayed succinctly, still disturbed by what she had seen. Her voiced dropped as she uttered the next part, "Klaus, their basement was horrific and their forms were... warped."

His gaze sharpened.

"Warped how?" He asked in clipped tones.

"Mutated or deformed or something. Their bodies had odd bulges and a few of them had growths that covered an eye. Rotted teeth. Filthy. Potentially diseased,” she rattled off.

"Show me."

Caroline blurred toward the rooms she had left their dismembered bodies, Klaus on her heels. They were still in pieces, seemingly dead, and for once Caroline wished she could have inflicted more suffering.

"They're Çarpık," Klaus answered her unvoiced question. "Cannibals who failed to become wendigos." He walked over, toeing one of the severed heads with his boot. "I appreciate your caution, but they're only a little more durable than regular humans. Their strength is in the tiny amount of magic they possess that lets them hide scents and render their prey unconscious."

Stalking over to her, he tipped her chin with his fingers.

"How did they take you down, Caroline? They have to have physical contact to knock people unconscious."

Caroline glanced away, a little ashamed.

"I was distracted," she muttered.

Klaus clenched his jaw imagining all the terrible things that could have happened to her, had they chosen to keep her unconscious.

"Right, we'll... discuss this at home."

He gathered her in his arms, needing to hold her, touch gentle despite his protective anger, and whisked them in the direction of their car.

AN: Yeah, idk where this came from. It started cute and then got decidedly less so...I guess sorta inspired by the mutants in The Hills Have Eyes (even if I barely watched it a few years ago and didn’t particularly like it? Brains are weird)