#No these designs arent final i just wanted to draw something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melonsharks · 1 year ago

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Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

#good omens #good omens 2 #gomens #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #adam young #warlock dowling #parent trap au #asks #paradox-progressing #i said insanwly quick but this is so fucking long. im sorry

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rainstormcolors · 9 months ago

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hi! im curious how u feel about. Kaiba's ending in dsod as a devout kaiba fan

bc quite a few ppl ik *arent* rlly big on it for reasons that include but arent limited to "it ruins the message of letting the dead go and moving on like Yugi did" and etc which i dont agree with for sm reasons but im curious abt ur thoughts on the matter too 😭

Hello.

I’ve talked about DSoD and DSoD’s ending quite a bit over the years. I've come to understand the ending of DSoD to be layered on several levels, and it actually tackles several themes in the original work from different angles at the same time, and I think trying to force the ending into one neat "this is what definitely happened" box stifles that complexity. It’s deliberately open to interpretation. I also want to make room for fans who do not like DSoD. We have our preferences and individual concepts we value from canon, and carry personal experiences we relate to canon in different ways. Please understand to those reading this that it’s alright to omit this film from your internal design of canon.

I can talk some about my own relationship and journey with DSoD. I’ve loved Yu-Gi-Oh! for a long time. I watched the show as it aired and read the manga as it was released within the United States. One of my parents died when I was young. At the time I felt very disconnected from both that event and from the other people in my household. We never talked about our feelings and I was always vastly terrible at interpreting my own emotions and behaviors. The further catch here is we were seeing a grief therapist some, and I’d been in and out of therapy for a while before that as well. I just could not parse out any feelings at all and I didn’t know how to talk to other people about things. I was disconnected from it all. We flash forward to the release of DSoD. And to my surprise, something I didn’t expect from myself, I was talking to people. I was talking about what grief looked like even if a person wasn’t labeling it. I was talking about how sometimes we can’t name what we’re feeling. What I saw in DSoD were people grieving and I understood this. And I was communicating my ideas and emotions that had been so foggy up until then. I suppose this is the strange power of an autistic interest paired with personal experience – and I was actually trying to talk about feelings and trying to bond with other people.

And I was truly pondering on and reflecting -- not on a subconscious level but on a fully conscious one now -- on the loneliness and struggles the other people in my household had felt back then too. There had been a suicide attempt at a certain point which was something I had refused to let myself think about but I was now thinking about that too.

I like stories about the experience of grief over stories that are PSAs about grief. It was going to take a grief story with teeth and bite to awaken this piece of me, not a cutesy PSA on grieving. For me, it can feel like fandom at times has this idea that everyone has it in them to just talk about their feelings and reach out and that everyone has that, and that is just not true at all. (What a further surprise to me to discover later on why I was also drawn to elements of Death-T back then, back while I still felt so disconnected from “the experience of death.”)

I’m especially drawn to and touched by Seto’s narrative, but I think Yugi’s own story in DSoD harbors this as well. As I read this line, “it ruins the message of letting the dead go and moving on like Yugi did,” I think of how I feel the story was also about Yugi accepting that it’s okay for him to draw from the strength Atem gave to him and to feel inspired by Atem even though Atem is “gone” and that this is the meaning of why Atem joined Yugi in battle in that grand final showdown in DSoD.

As I said, there is the potential of multiple layered interpretations inside the film’s ending. There’s the theme of the power of friendship and love being able to break through the universe, that friendship can be so meaningful the barriers surrounding us can’t stop those feelings. It is love as a powerful force and Seto -- who had rejected others and feelings for so long, who has felt so disconnected from everything but those brief burning moments of winning -- has embraced love and what Atem meant to him. There is the hyperfictionalized portrayal of grief and its forms like emotions as art, and how grief stays with us but evolves and matures: Death-T as angry scarred grief and the negative impacts of the departed “villain” on the living “villain”, the Ceremonial Duel as the acceptance of grief and the positive impacts left by the departed “hero” on the living “hero”, and DSoD as finally seeing and understanding the departed one as just a person just as you are a person. And grief is a permanent marker on us. It doesn’t really go away. There’s the metaphorical portrayal of closure for the survivor finally being able to say goodbye to the one they love, to see that person outside of their grief for who they are and it’s painted in an artful and literal way, and it gives Seto the tools to move forward in life carrying Atem inside his heart. And there’s the wonder of science fiction as technology and humanity and the soul are fused. Our voices and images travel across the world through technology in our reality – could it travel even further? What are human beings capable of? And it’s about Atem still possibly being savable from this place, that death wasn’t his answer because people care about him. Someone wanted to see him this badly. There is no duel, no words we see exchanged, because this gesture already says everything. Seto being here to see Atem says everything.

It’s also a possible commentary on how scars don’t go away and sometimes we can’t save someone. Sometimes someone isn’t able to break free of their ghosts and it’s possible to wish peace for that person or to be left scarred by them or both at the same time. People can be warped by their trauma and not overcome it because it’s a hard hard road to walk. To only harbor any sympathy for the survivors who are healthy, cute, and palatable belies a very conditional idea of compassion. This isn’t to say the harm isn’t real or that people don’t need to be accountable for their actions, but they are human beings who have struggled and struggled. The wounds of trauma are not shallow and healing can be hard. Seto is only 18-years-old in DSoD.

Death and love are weaved throughout Seto’s entire story in canon.

While I understand what people mean as they say “Seto needs to face the consequences of his actions and should have a strain with Mokuba," when it’s employed as a critique of the movie, I also feel very strange and think, "That's just the way grief is. Or rather how it can be and how it is for a number of people.” As I said, my own family was horrible about any talking about our feelings in the wake of grief and then that suicide attempt. There was no PSA-type talk between us. For me, the mess of DSoD comes across as real even if it’s an exaggerated presentation.

I’ve also had very dark periods in my life, terrified of having no one understand me ever again, and this also grounds me into how Seto’s head and heart may have been working. I didn’t know how to talk to people about emotions, including my family even though I loved them, and everything felt dark and like I was endlessly sinking.

And I had a moment of truly understanding how profoundly alone my father must have felt when my mother died, as my father was just as friendless as I was and didn’t have outside family to help at all.

I had felt I was incapable of connecting with other people and I felt I saw that trait within Seto, and so watching canon tell me “the bond between Seto and Atem is real, it meant something” was very very moving for me. Even if you don’t know how to talk, you can find connection through what you do understand.

I do think it’s quite understandable for people to feel put off by DSoD and its ending. I think it’s quite fair that people root for Seto and Mokuba together and that they’ve hoped for a journey of healing. People become upset on Mokuba’s behalf. I personally connect with the messiness of grief and Seto’s conflicted heart and the artful and challenging portrayal of a person spilling over in grief. I do personally hold interpretations of Seto returning, so my answer here is also shaded by that. Even on Mokuba’s side, I’ve sort of been there and it allowed me to talk about that experience which isn’t an experience many people talk about. It’s very hush-hush in our day-to-day lives and it’s not easy to talk about.

Does DSoD reward Seto’s self-destructive behavior too much? I would say I’m not here for moral lessons and life is full of so many contradictions, so many tangled complicated layered emotions. It’s fair to hold this as a personal gripe with DSoD, but given the amount of audience backlash and discussion over this ending I don’t personally feel it’s actually a fully rewarding message. It’s more layered and thematic than that to me.

For a film for a big money-making mainstream shonen franchise, DSoD is unusually arty.

Again, people have their own experiences and people need different things from art. Someone else will carry a different relationship to DSoD, and someone else may need different things to come to terms with grief.

Thank you for the ask. I hope this answer wasn’t too wordy. I think it’s good to form your own opinions too. Thank you for reading my rambling.

#the darkside of dimensions

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blackheart-6 · 11 months ago

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dess-ember day 31/31

hi yall

today i bring my final entry!! i cant believe i made it

its a dess ref, but after the events of deltarune, where i imagine she will be freed

fun fact, i actually made the dess ref i still use exactly a year ago, so thats neat ^^

im not sure if I will keep this design for her being older (the age i usually draw her as is like 15 or 16), but i feel like it turned out okay

i made her a researcher (she researches things to do with souls and magic, things that exist in deltarune but arent really known about in my headcanons), but im unsure if it was the right choice. i imagine she got stuck with gaster in the code for a couple of years, but before that she didnt know what she wanted to do with her life. the way I see it, the gaster in the code with her is the one from undertale, so he has a lot of knowledge on magic and stuff, and learning about it was interesting and helpful for her, and after she got out she wanted to share her knowledge and learn more.

as i said, i dont know if this was a good choice of career, considering she wasnt really the type to become a researcher, but she also changed when she was in the code, so idk. i might change it later.

and for her design, i tried to keep her unruly look as much as possible, despite her job. i changed her hairstyle, keeping it short but giving her a side part and little hair pieces in front of her ears.

i also gave her glasses. i imagine shes needed them for awhile, but she didnt want to look like a nerd 😂 now shes just accepted her fate. i also gave her piercings on her ears, just as a callback to some of my older drawings of her, where i gave her piercings there too.

for her outfit, i gave her a pair of basic dress pants, and a turtleneck (because i love turtlenecks a bit too much lol). and then i gave her a green jacket/coat thing, cause i had to keep her with green, ofc.

and for accessories, i gave her a watch (to match with noelles watch), and i gave her a bracelet with noelles sweater colors. i also gave her a white ring on her left hand, because when i looked it up that was where aro rings were (i hope thats accurate lol).

and thats it, my final entry! its so weird that im here, i didnt think i would make it. i thought id get bored, or too busy, or run out of ideas or something, but i made it. there was a lot of struggle sometimes, and there was ideas i had planned that i never got to, but i feel like it really helped me, having this month. ive definitely gotten better at drawing dess, and i feel like my anatomy and posing had gotten better ^^. though, i dont know if ill do this again. it was difficult, and next year ill be in college, so i might be too busy. i guess we will just wait and see 😁

during this month, ive also thought a lot about dess in general. i have so many thoughts and ideas involving her, yet we still have such little knowledge on her. its weird, i have this whole dess created, but one day she will become obsolete, and we will see who dess actually is. i dont know how to feel about it. but, until we actually see dess, i plan to keep drawing my dess, and i might keep drawing her after we see dess, it just depends. even if im nervous to see her, i cant wait either!

but thats enough of my ramblings, im sure nobody read all that, so for a tldr, i just talked about why i designed older dess like that, my thoughts on my dess-ember, and my thoughts on dess ^^

i hope yall have a wonderful new years!! 🥳🥳

#art #my art #digital art #deltarune #dess holiday #deltarune dess #december holiday #deltarune december #dess-ember #dess-ember day 31

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tragedyboycentral · 2 years ago

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So I'm copy-pasting my own essay I added onto another post to post on my own. But the amount of people out here who truly DON'T understand the historical importance of WTNV, from a queer media perspective, boggles me.

I want you to imagine the year is 2012. Gay marriage won't be legalized for another three years. A podcast starts to make the rounds, your friends are watching it so you think sure. Let's check it out. And then you here the narrator start to talk about the new scientist in town. And right there, in the first introduction, they make it clear. "And I fell in love instantly." There was no building up, no hiding it, no queerbaiting. Right there in the first episode they told us that Cecil was Gay and in love with Another Man.

And if you weren't there then there arent WORDS for how ground breaking this was at the time. How amazing it was for the tumblrbase, consisting largely of closeted/ discovering pre-teens, to hear this. The finale of Legend of Korra, where two women holding hands was GROUND BREAKING?? That wouldn't happen for another two years. This wasn't an everyday occurrence and hell, I would argue even today, a whole decade later, there still aren't many pieces of media doing it like wtnv was (and still is).

Not to mention in horror media, queerness is traditionally used to notate something scary. The scary lesbian woo'ing another woman and killing her was a horror trope for a reason. In media queerness is used as almost exclusively as a corrupting, disgusting, force. But Cecil's queerness wasn't just loved, it was celebrated within the media itself. His love interest was a 'normal' guy from out of town but Cecil's oddities are why Carlos loves him. Every aspect of Night Vale is odd, is queer, and that queerness becomes acceptably mundane in a beautiful way. The entirety of Night Vale of a concept was taking all that was Queer and celebrating it.

And in greater terms of media, Welcome To Night Vale is what single-handedly changed podcasts from 'the thing your dad listened to' to something interesting and accessible to young people. It practically introduced the concept of narrative podcasts and is still the roadmap many of them use today. Massive media like The Magnus Archives, The Penumbra Podcast, and hell I would argue even the popularity of other media like TAZ? It only happened because WTNV brought not just an audience to podcasts, but a QUEER audience. A queer audience who, once they were old enough, only needed a mic and cheap editing software to start making their own queer content just as fast as they were consuming everyone else's.

But back to 'sexyman'. Again. Tumblr's base is 12-14. And we're given not just the first gay character most of us have ever seen. But a dutiful boyfriend who loves his husband and his cat. Who gets into silly little squabbles with his silly little nemesis. Who's CHARMING. Of course the internet fell in love. But beyond his personality. He had the Homestuck/ Bill Cipher/ Wheatley bonus of not having a canon design. People keep mentioning he's faceless as a weird element but that was the DRAW back then. It was an INTEGRAL part of the appeal. Sure, the basic 'blonde white twink' design was/is the most popular- it was 2012- but some people got creative. No matter what your attraction was too, you could picture him looking like that. He's a good boyfriend AND he's hot?

Sure, The Onceler was insanely popular and so was Sans. But people were either lusting for them or Hated them. But Cecil?? Cecil was our hot gay mentor. He was the closest thing a lot of younger queers on tumblr had for an adult queer role model. He was the basis for so other tumblr sexymen.

TLDR: "Did wtnv have cultural impact?" jesus fuck yes it did.

#wtnv #cecilsweep #tumbly sexyman poll #cecil palmer #part of my charm

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cozymochi · 2 years ago

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1, 12, 4, and 7 for the artist asks!

Love the avant-garde non-chronological storytelling this employs

1. What canon character(s) do you love to draw the most? (And why?)

As of NOW, it’s changed considerably. Tbh I think I’m still finding out who is the favorite to actually draw vs. a character I just happen to draw a lot. …So on that end i’m gonna refer to old but gold, Yamcha MIGHT still be my top favorite to actually draw. It’s just been a hot minute. His design means the world to me. Even if in toriyama-land he’s default generic pretty man. with scaaaarssss. AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT IN MY HOUSE!!!

12. Which OC do you love to draw the most? (And why?)

I have a new favorite now starting back in April. WHOMST? she’s hasn’t been introduced yet. At least not formally up here? I like drawing her because (and im gonna sound so,,,), anyway after all the bs irl from then to now, she’s now my comfort character. Im obsessed with indulgent scenarios mkay. Though she has cameo’d twice so far publicly. But she’s inevitable just gimme a hot minute to stop being cryptic for no reason , here’s important stuff

4. What type of colors do you like using in your art? (And why?)

I’M FINDING MYSELF USING A LOT MORE BLUES AND GREENS NOW and anything in that group.

7. Any funky lil art tips? ((WARNING I START LOSING IT ))

Not unless something is asked in specific and caters to a specific persons needs. TIP: there’s no ONE way to approach anything. Like!! If that video tutorial someone pedantically linked in a discord channel isn’t helping you then!! It’S FINE TO try something else! Or if google searching isn’t teaching you then ask someone else! …but plz be cooperative about it and open to listen, i know i just said there’s no “one way” to do something (and there isn’t, these arent contradicting statements) but the amount of times i’ve seen art advice fall on deaf ears because the asker just was not cooperative despite inciting kills me.

Also plz learn fundamentals i know they are tedious, boring, and seemingly useless (aND ARE THEY EVER so not-fun to learn, take from someone who had to start at the beginning every new class for a D E C A D E), buT it COMES BACK SO OFTEN and is more universal than people assume. Then hey, maybe that tiktok “art shortcut” will finally make sense or be a little easier to grasp. Yeah shortcuts are cool n all but that shortcut was made by someone who considers all this “second-nature” and has like, years of foundations under their belt to MAKE that sorta thing 😭

actually now that i think about it all this is like the equivalent of ppl buying those old “how to draw whatever” books back in middle school but instead of reading the material, people just looked at the pictures and skipped to idk tracing the final results. Meme the chris hart books all you want (there’s a lot to lol at, especially in a modern lens) but those foundational portions early on in those text blocks aRE sAying universal things!! IT ISNT GONNA CONDUCT A MIRACLE OR ANYTHING buT THE KNOWLEDGE DOES HELP A LOT AAAAaa reading!!

I JUST AAAAA

i literally trailed off im so fuckib sorry i have a 7 hour shift in an hour and dont wanna leave my bed

#cozy ask

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longlivedead · 1 year ago

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long post about systematizing the fate/stay night power scaling to unique ttrpg rules, avoid unless you got that obsession like i do

ok so first things first, theres been some attempts to make fsn ttrpg rules before and they dont use the stats in the actual game, they usually just convert d&d to be more applicable to fsn. boring! so i tried to make a ttrpg ruleset that actually looks like the game.

so firstly the stats are obvious, the fucking series has them already:

HP or Defense stats could be tied to Endurance, damage to Strength or Magical Power, accuracy based on Agility, Luck can do mulligan effects or other shit idk. NP is the one thing thatd be hard to put into mechanics since they defy logic by design. if youve ever played the ttrpg Exalted i think the artifacts are a good comparison; the higher the Rank, the more rules you can break.

so what about numbers? well the series has some already:

theres two ways to do this:

make the numbers exact (like you pick Rank D for Strength in character creation so the stat starts at 20) and the number is used for dice (either roll a die under your stat number or add the stat number to the roll, whatever)

make the numbers relative to rank (like spend 20 points for Strength in character creation so the stat is Rank D) and the rank itself determines the die target/bonus (like Rank A = +5 to the roll)

either works, tho that still doesnt decide the dice and numbers you use. i lean more towards the 2nd option (cuz otherwise ranks are useless) with a d100 cuz big number is fun. in terms of "target to roll under" or "add this to your die" i lean towards target. so with d100 the Ranks would be something like:

E = roll 35 or under

D = roll 45 or under

C = roll 55 or under

B = roll 65 or under

A = roll 75 or under

EX = roll 85 or under

and the stuff like A+ or C++ would either be from skills (you can buy in character creation) or experience (spend 20 points to make a D Rank stat a D+ Rank stat). in terms of dice rolls, giving a + to a rank would probably bump up the number by 5. so like B++ would have a target of 60 or under. these numbers arent solid or anything, im just drawing in the sand.

for character creation, i like the idea of giving you points to buy for stats and using the Ranks table for the costs; Magi would have 150 points and Servants would have 300 points to spend, and so you would spend, for example, 30 points to make a stat like Endurance Rank C. you use any leftover points for class/personal skills etc. which would be pretty nebulous and/or personal since thats how theyre treated in the series. i drew up a massive list of some and it was a waste of time, so many of them overlapped it wasnt funny stop laughing

when making Servants, class is obviously important. this table could either work as either a template you could apply during character creation or just a suggestion for a starting point.

trying to figure out magic is too much of a pain in the ass since theres like a million different types and they kinda do whatever the writer wants in the moment. so my judgement call is to just say fuck it, pick a particular type of magic you wanna focus on and let your magic stat determine how good you are at it. go crazzy.

and finally, even though this system isnt exactly finished or real, i made a character sheet because i clearly have too much time on my hands and have underlying problems i could be solving instead

hope its interesting. you have my permission to play this if you think its worth it, feel free to change things around to better fit what you want out of it. ok now paypal me $30 you asshole

#fate #ttrpgs #autism #longpost

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20060111 · 1 year ago

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tuesday october 3, 2023 drinking: carrot juice listening to: volt tackle - deco*27 mood: excited

long time no diary entry whoops...... but I have actually been doing things >_>

I really love painting on and customizing clothes and these are my last two projects I finished recently...I love the "lucky" top a lot i'm really proud of how that turned out

and of course I had to use periwinkle on the vest....the best color........I love the contrast with the pale matcha-y color. just a simple design to make a simple vest unique

my hand steadiness has definitely improved after doing both of these lol but practice makes perfect as they say

and tbh even if the lines arent perfect in some places and doesn't look like a professional print, I think that's quite ok

i'm so glad it's finally october... now through january is genuinely my favorite time of the year it's the best. it's stil really damn hot in texas but i think by next week the temp will drop like 20 degrees so i'm so exciteeeeeeed........i thrive in cool weather <3

I also finally got the pokemon sv dlc and finished the main story of it yesterday tbh I really loved it just as much as the main story of the base game.....they really stepped it up with the character development in this game I felt so connected to carmine and kieran like I felt like they were so "real" in the sense of how they interacted with my character and the lore of the game if that makes sense lol

carmine made me so annoyed at times like I wanted to shake her and say get tf over it damn lol!!!! and wanted to give kieran a hug like be kinder to yourself son.......

also ogerpon so dang cute xD

I really want to make a sticker sheet and I have like a general idea of what I want to make buuuut the specifics i'm having trouble with deciding......let's hope I figure it out soon lol

I need to draw more in general u__u'''''

here's a wip of something at least, I wanted to design some perfume bottles lol

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webcxre · 8 months ago

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ok like i said in tags. character design hell!!!!!!

they actually started as a snail

which i ENJOY but it just didnt??? vibe in my head. especially being yellow. they already had a whole backstory in mind n shit but they just visually didnt...strike me right. i'll probably reuse this design for something bc i do enjoy it

sometime between this and the next concept i started working on the au design of kinito where he's got the toony eyes, that sort of. 90s marketable. i was SUPPOSED to use this to distinguish the au from my other art but i kinda like it a lot so sometimes it slips into my normal art. oops.

the mudpuppy arc begins!

one day i realized mudpuppies exist and i think they're adorable

i kept. repeatedly struggling with balancing: - keeping the markings simple - making their colors within the same range to match kinito/sam/jade - making their shape distinguishable from kinito so they didnt look like siblings - making them recognizable as a mudpuppy

expanding to other neotenic salamanders to figure out how'd they look next to kinito in this au. mudpuppy still very much is shaped like kinito and this bugged me to no end

fun fact! axolotls arent even in the same genus as waterdogs/mudpuppies! they evolved entirely separate. something something two entirely different life experiences ending up relating

unlike axolotls they're...soooorta metamorphosed? like they have teeth but kept their gills. axolotls are like the kinda guy who never grew past their habits while mudpuppies tried to but got held back. like sure it helped you in the moment evolutionarily but in the end you're still an awkward guy in their 20s sucking up worms help where did this metaphor go

anyways this hell happened at some point

i was SO stuck on colors like???? how do i keep it to 2-3 colors and within the same range AND accurate to life. mudpuppies range from brown to reddish to a bluish grey so thats where these colors came from

AND HERE'S ME LEARNING TO DRAW A WHEELCHAIR BC I HAD A DREAM THEY USED ONE SOMETIMES

its hard to make a wheelchair that works for a character with a stubby body and a big ass tail but we make do. theyre digital so i imagine they just summon the wheelchair as needed and their tail just magically fits under the head cushion. also relearned that not all wheelchairs need push handles that'll be super helpful for when i inevitably need one someday

also this doodle page where their gills got more detailed! i was hesitant but its still simple enough. based on how mudpuppies look like they just have these 2 frilly fins on the sides of their head

and finally!!! (after a dream where i saw the scene at the top of the post and immediately rushed to draw it)

i made them a temp ref + anthro (although the au doesnt have anthros) since people are exchanging ocs in the discord rn and i wanted to join :] slightly worried they'll be passed over due to being fat + disabled but its a risk im willing to take bc :points: theyre like me!!

pretty happy with them rn, might tweak their colors slightly but for now i like how they turned out :] ty for coming to my ted talk

#my art #rambling #kinitopet oc #long post #feel free to suggest names/outfits!!!#just know in my hc only npcs require the first letter to match so please no variants of mary!!! literally anything goes theyre nb lmao #awful unfun fact in the bad end of the au where kinito Does Not change for the better they're forced to be an “npc”#for a poor taste minigame about helping disabled people #i imagine physical disability is something kinito struggles to understand since like. why cant i just fix you. huh??#tbh if my chronic pain could be zapped away i'd let him but then i wouldnt have a disabled character to see myself in #so the reasoning is just. “PLEASE please dont change me any more than you have its hard to tell im even me anymore”#their pain is oddly grounding. a tie back to the reality they lost #ueah sorry excpect me to make a couple disabled characters im like that #koda the mudpuppy

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3liza · 3 years ago

Text

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way.

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were��“normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems.

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character.

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with.

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks

#filters #blog #hell world #long post

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keerishima · 4 years ago

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HELLO! I saw you were a new blog that needed requests and I was wondering if you could write head-canons for todoroki, bakugou, and kiri (separately) with a s/o that has a witchcraft quirk? TY

well hi! thank you for the request, it was so cool to write! now i’m assuming you mean like a quirk that works like potions and herbs/crystals and spirit summoning and spells which is the road i’m taking i hope that’s okay?

now this boy is

excited

when he first saw the mist swirling around your fingers as you fought the robots in the UA exam, a shock went through his body

what was that?

okay he didn’t mean to stare- considering he was in the middle of an exam- but the way you moved and the glints of a crystals around your body was just so cool

time passed and he got closer to you, during the dorm competition your room was the only room he wanted to see and boy did he love it

the green ivy and plants in your room, the pots and white smoke curling from diffusers and shelves full of powder and inks organised in a neat row

your room felt like a whole new world- like magic

literally after everyone had left he was still in your room looking around like a meerkat assessing it’s surroundings

fast forward; you guys are dating and he was VERY curious as to how your quirk worked, and you explained how your spells and energy came from the crystals and jewels

each crystal gave you a different energy, which converted to your power!

kirishima literally watched in awe as you pointed at all the different coloured gems and jewels and the symbols on your walls

he even asked to touch some of them and asked where you got them

he also asked to see them in battle, and asked if you had any similar to his own quirk!

the both of you engaged in LOTS of different mock battles, which almost always ended up in a play fight rather than real training- just because he ends up enjoying watching you use your quirk too much to actually focus

once you two had engaged in a long, breathless make out session against one of the walls- what can I say? you wanted to see what it felt like to kiss kirishima in his red riot form and have him melt back to normal under your touch

yeahh...it was a bad idea to do that in the school gym, where half of class 1-B caught you two mushed together against a wall

back to the hc!

he asks SO many questions

sometimes just sits on your bed for ages and asks one after the other after the other, to the point where aizawa has to come and send him back to his side of the dorm

let me tell you now: if you are 1) planning to get anything or 2) NEED anything, don’t let him find out

you once let it slip that you were considering getting pouches to carry these crystals, and the sweet, sweet boy went out and bought BUCKETS of bags

yes buckets because he didn’t know if your crystals would be affected by material or size of the bag or- god forbid what if it did and he ruined your quirk in battle?!

he’d never forgive himself.

ever.

like literally he’d be on his knees ready for punishment of how you saw fit because of his mistake

what can i say? the boys dramatic

but its endearing :,)

it ended up being the cutest date of you cuddled up on his bed wrapped in his blankets like you were drowning in them,

whilst he sat on the floor, presenting each little bag and pouch to you, all teleshopping style.

‘and THIS 🤩 gorgeous article comes with not just 1😱! not just 2 😱! but THREE 🤯🥵🥳🥳 buttons to clip close to ensure a tight, secure hold of your 😏 special package’

yeah he made a sleazy face

yeah you threw a plushy at him

all of them were bought with your costume in mind and how could you not keep some of the bags? with kirishima watching you with the biggest eyes and slightly-pouting-lips-but-he-would-never-admit-it there was no way you didn’t keep the most useful ones

you asked him to return the extra bags so he wouldn’t have wasted his money, whilst you repaid his kindness with lots and lots of kisses and cuddles

;) or more depending on how you want it

todoroki is uhh...

emotionally constipated

but thats not his fault

#fuckendeavour

sometimes it comes off that he’s not interested in your quirk in a general sense, but it’s only because he doesn’t know how to ask without seeming pushy

he gets shy (but doesn’t show it) but with time that decreases to a sort of dry affection

i’m not saying he’s a dry boyfriend but he definitely isn't as spritely as someone like Denki might be

the way you’d see that he wanted to know more was if he asked you to come and fight with him, train with him and study

this is where he asked about your quirk

he didn’t ask to the extent of kirishima, who said everything that came to mind, he asked precise questions that gave him all the information he was desperate to know because you are so cool it makes his heart burn needed

and he also knew you would add more information as you explained, which he loved because he loved hearing you talk so passionately

this time your quirk allowed you to control people to an extent, depending on different plants and herbs you used

the plants each had a special line, muttered as you dropped the herbs anywhere on your opponent for it to activate

best believe todoroki asked for one to knock endeavour out, literally out of nowhere💀

once, one night you had been laying on your bed, and todoroki had popped over to see you. it was still quite early on in your relationship so you weren’t expecting him to cuddle up beside you and tuck into your smaller body, chin hooked onto your shoulder whilst his eyes bore into yours from below todoroki loves eye contact

‘Do your plants have meanings?’

that’s it, that’s all he softly whispered in your ear

‘What do you mean?’ You whispered back

‘Like...like roses mean love...do your herbs have a meaning linked to what they do?’

okay now he was blushing, very gently because he didn’t want to annoy you, or ask you a question you’d never thought of and make you feel silly or insecure about his quirk

YOU on the other hand were smothering a dopey grin. you knew your boyfriend and his boundaries, and you knew that him asking you in such an intimate setting meant he was trying hard for you

you also knew that he’d just given you free reign to ramble however you saw fit

so you explained, how each herb did this, how if you mixed them they did that, if you made a liquid infused with them it helped with your application in battle and so much more

todoroki listened silently, but his eyes were gleaming

literally glowing in the darkness- I mean was that even possible? it had to have been considering how todoroki looked at you that night

after you were done, he replied with a similar thing about his own quirk, and both of you had a long long chat that went from quirks, to schooling, to life, to aliens and more

todoroki had the weirdest humour, he never knew he was being funny until your quiet giggles morphed into full blown laughter- and caused a knock from the next room over because you were being too loud

he would let out his own little chuckles and smirks, seeing you enjoy his company so much

it was a while after that day when something new happened

you’d sent him a message, whilst he was sitting right next to you, and your contact name flashed on his screen suddenly, catching your eye

‘my calendula’

you looked at todoroki

todoroki looked at you

you both blinked

‘calendula?’ you asked

‘yes’ todoroki replied

‘why calendula?’

‘because,’ todoroki blushed deeply, eyes flickering away from yours

‘because you said calendula means joy...you’re my joy. arent you?’

and god help anyone who tries to say you aren’t todoroki’s joy

because you would literally throw them to the ground

your heart soared at how todoroki loved you and your quirk so much

even though it wasn’t blatantly obvious, it was the little things he did for you 😍

he originally going to call you his basil until Bakugou came round behind him asking him if he was writing the dorms grocery list. safe to say that plan was aborted immediately :D

oho

sorry I just

*pfft*

bakugo amuses me, he really does he’s so entertaining

okay sorry back to the headcanon

I headcanon you’re REALLY strong

like STUPID strong

Remember bakugos reactions to all the students quirks and he was like ‘shit I cant beat them 😨’

And his reaction to todoroki? yeah he’d literally see you use your quirk and just

no I’m joking

but I feel like as your s/o he’d be super obsessed with your quirk

he’d always want to train with you, he’d see it as an amazing part of you that he wants to help hone so you can be the best of the best

not better than him obviously but the best anyway

not that he’d SHOW all of this awe and pride to you, it’s normally delivered in a bunch of bakugo sentences:

‘oi your form is shit. do this instead.’

that means he’s realised a new way you can throw this punch, with much more force

‘tch, go train. you need the training.’

he wants to train with you. again.

‘....finally. took you long enough to learn that.’

you’ve just done something successfully and he’s trying so hard not to blush at how well you did it.

here your power is more destructive

you can create sigils using a your finger in the air and they create attack power

this with bakugos quirk makes a formidable duo, and if he doesn’t get partnered with you he will most likely throw a fit

but not a long fit more of a like ‘oi why is she over there we work better together’

but he realises as heroes you need to work well with anyone you meet, so he’s not too fussy

because of the fact that you draw the sigils, you have a habit of tracing out patterns and new symbols and any sort of designs subconsciously

this is done normally on any part of your skin, with a pen

bakugo being old man bakugo 🙄 got mad at you

he told you off for almost giving yourself ink poisoning and ruining your hand and making it all dirty drama queen

but throughout all of this bakugo had been clutching your hand, and best believe he wasn’t letting go

he used the hand he was holding to pull you along and sit comfortably, dropping his own palm into your lap and mumbling something that kind of, sort of, might have been along the lines of ‘use my arm dumbass’

now you had bakugos arm to scribble on to your hearts content.

you used this when you were stressed, worried that your nerves were causing you to forget things or simply because you wanted to hold bakugo close

in fact, bakugo himself had adopted this habit, and you’ll notice I said arm instead of hand

bakugo got nervous around you, and therefore sweaty, which therefore lead to tiny little explosions in his palms when you were near

but this habit had started to make him feel comfortable with his hands around you, it made him trust himself more

he knew his power was strong and he didn’t want to hurt you, your quirk was something that helped him with that

and he wouldn’t tell you that but he was grateful. VERY grateful

he once asked why you used pen, and not your finger on your skin considering the pen ink is toxic

you answered very quickly, by pulling out a sheet of people and sliding your finger across the surface in a sigil shape

promptly the paper burnt into a cinder :)

and bakugo never asked again

and that is the end! I hope you liked it and I did the idea of Witchcraft justice 😅 please do send some more requests!

god I loved this so much they’re all so cute :,) thank you for this request!!

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bimbosupreme · 3 years ago

Text

mephistopheles love post

the equivalent of a mental breakdown tangent is all going under a read more

yes believe it or not that freaky ass literally not even human clown in fgo gets love, and love from who? me and like 3 other people

first off

ok and with that out of the way,

i’m not even familiar with their lore. Reason why i stopped caring about the lore behind faust and mephistopheles is that an interlude happens that shows that mephistopheles is just some homunculi made by some mage nobody named faust. and even then the interlude doesn’t talk about the lore behind the novel, its just you helping mephy kill faust

that being said though i would hope the developers expand on their origins more and potentially even release a “true” mephistopheles (a girl can dream)

So, they’re not even the real deal demon known as Mephistopheles in the first place, and i can hear u going “well that’s lame” and like, no, we just need to redirect our feelings from appreciating a demon to appreciating a homunculi who has a weird characterization in the fate universe

Design tangent:

Fgo was actually my first gacha, and so when I came across this servant I kinda instantly fell in love with their design, I love the colors used in their final ascension and overall appearance. The hat that has horns but they're not quite horns, theyre these weird colorful pointy twisty things, the large garish butterfly ornament on their chest (which isnt ugly at all and somehow works so well with their everything on them) is cool, the tights are so cool to look at, i mean look -- a checkered pattern with golden lining on the shorts portion, the tits out look like yes we get it youre insane, the gloves??? purple and also cool, plus theyve got this gradient thing going on? and the fingers have this line going through them, thats so cool. actually the only other servant that comes close to this in terms of “out there” colorful designs is probably final ascension kama and qsh ( i love them both). Also, mephy has this scissor weapon?? thats so cool lol i dont see any other servant wielding giant scissors (for the love of god give mephy an animation update i need to see them use the scissors while doing flips) and they also have this bomb obsession going on? cant relate, but the bombs designs are so so cool i mean its a fucking centipede -- no idea if centipedes are a thing in the original faust but thats something Ill have to look up at some point. ALSO mephy is wearing heels oh my god anytime people wear heels is an automatic win. No clue whats going on with the hair but its kinda cute (dont question me on that) and it has curls and the hair colors are cool i mean its like a lavender thing with darker purple highlights? i love colorful things and i love people with wacky personalities so. Oh my god their tail how could i forget that its so cute and dumb i almost forgot it was there, like what is that even a whip? i dont.. but its got these little purple tips to them that are kinda cute/cool but more cool because tails are fucking up there alongside heels in terms of cool stuff on characters. and of course their fluffly cape -- again no idea what the designers were going for i mean look its a mess of a design i have no fucking idea what any of it means and i hope they explain it someday because that hair and the butterfly and the tail and the hat and the fluffy garb and a bomb obsession?? and this got the go ahead - yeah lets add that to the game like what

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT THEIR EYES

appreciate these with me for a second

god.

oh and the blue lipstick and face paint god thats a cool design ugh

they can be normal too or at least as normal as possible i mean they even trimmed their eyebrow here lol but you can see the not so well hidden insanity/goofiness peaking through with the inside of the suit at the bottom being highlighter purple and a green shirt with gold accents underneath the black coat at the front <3, fuckin hate that hairstyle tho bro we gotta get that middle part hairstyle outta hereeeee--

TAKE A DETOUR AND LOOK AT THIS LINK THOUGH THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL AND BEST IVE SEEN THEM IN FANART. THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND THEY LOOK GREAT ITS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM THAT DRAWING.

anyways this is me going off all about why i like their design! but we haven’t even touched the nitty gritty of it all. their personality! what personality you may ask? havent they always been some weirdo laughing a lot and saying dumb shit all the time? well yes and no

Characterization:

True to their dumb little clown design mephy also acts like one.

Some servants bond 1 lines are like “fuck off” and some actually talk to you, nah this bastard mephistopheles’ just laughing. and for the second bond line it seems to imply theyre fuckin with you more (showing up and dissapearing and saying ‘afterimage’) so thats nice that theyre actually making some effort to mess with you in a way? some servants take a long time to actually interact with you so this shows theyre not afraid of interacting with you and thats just at bond 2. and of course the third bond line implies they were probably trying to betray you, its stated in more than 1 place that mephistopheles (actually isnt this a caster class thing?) will betray you or attempt to do so. So the third bond line seems to imply that their attempts have been stopped by you and that’s what they say after some failed attempts. So after stopping this freak from doing some shit their next bond line is actually doing a confession! a jester being honest who couldve seen that one coming but theyre 100% not lying, they really arent a demon but a homunculi made by faust

speaking of faust we’re going to backtrack a little into their interlude that i brought up at the start of this post, its one of those dream interludes and it starts with mephy asking you to help him plant bombs for their eventual reuinion/showdown with faust -- in the meantime faust keeps sending golems in an attempt to kill both you and mephy

When you track faust down, it’s shown that faust was your typical mage, inhumane and uncaring. It’s also pointed out that this faust killed innocents, but this typical mage behavior is boring to mephy, and they say that boring typical behavior is why they wanted to kill them

so i really cant blame mephistopheles for being the way they are, being raised by this type of guy, even if mephy was always messed up and wacky from the beginning its no reason for faust to attempt to kill him.

Mephistopheles also shows up in salem, cu alter’s interlude, and of course the knk crossover event, and some other things im most likely forgetting but those 3 are ones that i find notable

anytime they show up theyre actually helpful, in salem mephy points out that the nature of the being responsible for the salem epic of remnant is something alien rather than a typical foreign god, mephy also tells you that time is also being sped up and in their weird way they try to cheer you up by spouting some nonsense at the beginning (guda needed some kind of distraction from the grim events that had just transpired at that point in the story), i cant quite remember what mephy did in the knk event but they were a part of your group and were helpful the whole time, actually @/zeravmeta does an amazing analysis of their role in the knk event as well as some extra character analysis here

mephistopheles is kinda cryptic in a weird way though,

like overall i mean theyre a jester homunculi in appearance so yeah its to be expected but come on i love morally gray characters, despite their supposed betrayal hints scattered around here and there

they have this one line that always gets to me

and this line is said with a completely serious face too

the rare serious mephistopheles face! its kinda grim to see that line, no laughs, no nothing, their voice is kinda serious and monotone too. of course this could be just to get you to lower your guard but its still kinda out there that they have this rarely used portrait and that line, so i like to take it as being said to you when youre by yourself and with sincerity

and at least sei (with her wacky outfit and all lol) seems to get along with mephy and thinks theyre nice woohoo

so at the end of the day you have this guy that laughs a lot and gives mixed signals

and they fuck with you

and will most likely try to kill you more than once but hey thats just another tuesday at chaldea

Before I finish last thing I want to point out is this snippet from the fgo source material book which provides more information on servants, and this specific translated bit under mephistopheles

at the core of it all this homunculi....can be your friend! you just need to not go into despair i guess

of course this entire post is an overanalysis into an underwritten character, quarantine + all online college classes have done this to me, i have a douman icon what did you expect

OH...BEFORE I REALLY SIGN OFF AND FINISH THE POST HEY CLOWN LOVERS CHECK OUT THESE FANARTS AND FANARTISTS...

THE FIRST ONE IS HASENDOW YES THE DOUMAN DESIGNER... <3

i cant believe they drew mephy

twice !

and for those of you on twitter check out @cuz_pb and @L0VEYAMA003

#mephistopheles #fgo #i just go off on the various things i like about this clown #a whole lot lol #this started bc someone asked about my thoughts on mephistopheles well..

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collisiondiscourse · 4 years ago

Text

getting over a fear

im gonna be trying something new, i suppose. this isnt a serious post or anything, so if youre uninterested or whatever, feel free to keep scrolling on by!

i just wanted to get something off my chest.

as an fan artist and a fandom content creator with a pretty good following (thanks for 1.2k!), theres quite a lot that i never really let myself do because all my life i taught myself that i shouldnt.

one of them is make my own original content.

for a lot of people, its pretty normal to make your own OCs. make self inserts for fandoms, or stories that are your own entirely. its fun! amazing even.

but for as long as ive been online, ive never really let myself make my own art. art that was for me or had nothing to do with fandoms i liked.

and it was weird. it was a combination of things that stopped me from expressing myself to things like cringe culture to even discouragement online because no one wants to really see original content from someone they followed primarily for bnha content. i didnt let myself make stories of my own or have fun with self inserts because, well, i assumed it was just cringy or a waste of time since it wouldnt help my following/reputation grow.

it got so bad that over the recent course of a year... i can count on maybe three fingers the amount of times i drew something for myself. something original.

i dont have a sona. the common depiction you see of me is really just a simplified and edited version of what i kind of look in real life. i dont write original content. every idea and trope i think of thats vaguely interesting gets fed and beaten into a framework for fanfic. i don't even have designs for OCs that i claim to have, excluding ones that were made as extensions of actual characters.

looking back on it now as i try to assemble drawings to maybe put in a portfolio... i realize that im not happy with where it is. i dont have enough original content to fill the pages of my sketchbooks and think of when i sleep. ive given up on being an individual because of all my fears and internalized hatred for original content.

so, now im planning to get over my fears!

i'll still be a bnha blog, if thats what some of you are worried about. im still very much obsessed with deku and will be here for as long as i can manage. but im gonna be trying something new. im gonna try and make my own content now and make things i enjoy. maybe ill finally design my OCs. talk about stories that arent made to be fanfic at all.

and i hope with all my heart that you guys would still be here to enjoy my content along the way :] ♡

#codi.txt #long post #sorry i just needed to get this off my chest. i wanted to finally take the leap and get over my irrational fear #of making OC content and shit aha

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