#No spoilers pls im in act 3 rn

[larkoneironaut]

Happy

[retrofps]

i've been playing wandersong and it is. so good. please play it

[nocturnalcharm]

announcement !!

ive been searching on here for awhile now for bg3 specific characters x reader and honestly having a hard time finding fics! so i decided to start writing my own.

ive been writing for 10+ years, fanfics and original stories, and i want to fill the gaps i see in this fandom ^.^

also ive only just started act 3 so pls no spoilers!!

who i'll write for:

karlach

shadowheart

astarion

orin

dame aylin

might add more later lol

boundaries:

x fem tav/reader only

tbh idk if i have any hard no's that i can think of rn so just request and i'll say if im able to write it or not!

also, pls dont just send "write for *insert character*!!!" only send a req if you have an idea!

[yokakaiju]

tristamp thoughts/live watch ramblings

preface: i already have a very bad impression of tristamp. i literally have been into trigun for maybe a week now and i have seen most of 1998, but im trying to go into tristamp with a clear head and view it objectively, but i genuinely looked at the character designs and legatos redesign made me resent it immediately tbh...

ANYWAY, im live watching as i write this, so apologies if its sporatic

okay so the good stuff so far

uhh... its very pretty!!! ill give it that. it really shows the evolution of 3d anime over time, and as someone who typically doesnt enjoy it i think tristamp is absolutely beautiful. first 3d anime i ever saw was knights of sidonia and i have a deep appreciation for where 3d anime is now compared to a decade ago

i kinda like meryls new design the best? i like her hat, its cute. everyone else is so... eh, tho. merylls redesign is chill with me tho

roberto is fine ig. i like old men characters sometimes and like, idk whenever im not sad abt milly not being here im okay enough with roberto existing

now on to my ever growing laundry list of complaints that ik will get worse if i keep watching (spoilers for trimax probably)

one, WHY IS VASH LIKE THAT?? LIKE WHY IS HE SUCH A WHINY CRYBABY?? LIKE SHUT UP DAWG!!! idk, ik vash is a silly emotionally explosive highly insecure funny little fella and i love him for it, i think vash is a great character, but why did they make him kinda a pathetic bitch in stamp? like, i usually dont watch dubs but i am for trigun cause my tv is kinda far from my bed and i dont wanna sit uncomfortably to read subs rn (BLEH!!!), so maaaaaaaybe sub vash is better, and no shade to the va i like his voice a lot for vash tbh, but bro pls stop crying every two seconds im gonna lose it. why is vash lowkey proslavery (THIS IS A JOKE), BUT FR!!! why is he more like... idk chill with plants being used ig ????? im sure hes not really, but like... dude, you arent the same

two, okay this made me actually mad, but why in the actual fuck was knives immediately introduced and why is he like some weird well known plant stealing cave hermit??? like??? no??? he wouldnt do that??? also why is he so present in this world LIKE DOES LOST JULY NOT EXIST IN THIS CANON??? WHAT IS THIS??????? i literally hate this rewrite. like... trimax is right there dawg... you did not have to rewrite literally everything. addition as i watch episode 3, why is he like that? why can he make purple? why does he have razors??? he doesnt talk like that ever??? why is he so??? i hate him actually??? this is not the knives ik and love??? who is this skinwalker????? HE DID NOT ACT LIKE THIS IN TRIMAX WHO IS THIS??? I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEY REWROTE KNIVES THIS WAY OH MY GOD

three, why did everyone get an objectively bland redesign? like... i dont mind vashs hair. idgaf, but i literally hate his fucking totk link "lost power source" green ass arm. why cant it just be an ugly brown robot arm with a gun in it. whys it gotts be all "cool" and "green" and "mysterious", like IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CYBERCORE TECHWEAR NEOFUTURISM ASS SHIT!!! i havent seeeeeeen wolfwoof in action yet, but i fucking hate his tristamp design. WHY IS HE A TWINK??? WHERE ARE HIS BOOBS??? WHY IS HE NOT A PRIEST??? LITERALLY TURNED A PERFECT CHARACTER INTO A BASIC BITCH FOR NO REASON. also like... knives. why is he... why is he like that. put shoes on plz the sand is hot babygirl. why are you wearing a tumour coat and ugly matrix ass bodysuit? where did your shoulderpadded objectively cooler dio-esque military outfit go? especially tho, i DESPISE legato and livios redesigns. i think they are SOOOOO butt ugly in tristamp and FOR WHY??? WHY DID THEY MAKE LEGATO SO FUCKING UGLY??? LIKE HE WAS SO HOT IN 98 AND ESPECIALLY IN TRIMAX OH MY GOD HES SO HOT LITERALLY DROOLING THINKING ABT HIM RN MY BABYWABY BOOBOO BEAR. THEY BUTCHERED HIM SO BAD AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!!! AND LIVIO OH MY GOD WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM??? HIS TRIMAX DESIGN IS OS FUCKING PEAK HE IS SO AMAZING AS AN EYE OF MICHAEL AND ESPECIALLY AFTER HE REFORMS AND BECOMES A COWBOY BABEYYY!!!! BUT NOOOO THEY MADE HIM AN UGLY ASS CYBERPUNK ASS BITCH!!! THEY MADE HIM SO FUCKING LAME AND BORING!!! PATOOEY I HATE HIS FUCKING DESIGN!!!! okay so wolfwood just showed up, can officially say hes the weakest version of wolfwood and that i do not like him. hes giving non sonic fan perception of shadow vibes. ALSO WHERE IS HIS MELANIN THEY TOOK IT AWAY!!! THE MELANIN VACCUM STRIKES AGAIN!!! tbf, he didnt have MUCH but he was a little brown, not literally just a white man

four, where. the. fuck. is. milly. i LOVE milly. she is one of my faves ever, im so sad she isnt here. genuinely...

five and probably last for rn, why is the pacing so bad. like its not good in trigun or trimax really, and especially bad in 1998, but it SO ASS!!! like its so blink and you'll miss it, which kinda stands for every trigun... but expected this to be like at least a liiiiittle better i dunno

conclusions: im gonna keep watching it maybe? but like... i dont like it. its bad imo. literaly have been into trigun for one week and am in mourning that trimax will likely never have a proper adaptation. i just wanna see angel knives in his full glory, not whatever tf tristamp is trying to push here

[navysealt4t]

pls I physically need to know what your fav navyseal headcanons are

SHIT I FUCKING FORGIT ABOUT THIS ASK IM SO SORRY ANON

but FUCK YEAH NAVYSEAL <3333

in my mind jay is Very Tall and gill is Very Short so whenever they cuddle gillion is always the little spoon <3

neither of them saw much affection in their lives outside of their sisters (i imagine jay’s parents weren’t very touchy and stuff and the elders DEFINITELY weren’t) so they both are very shy about pda and just generally being affectionate with each other. they break out of their shells a little bit but mostly keep stuff in private <3 they are very comfy around the crew though and give each other little kisses at random. whenever they are on a new island or around new people gillion will hold jay's hand or stand close to her to reassure himself that shes safe <3

also new headcanon just because i’m sleepy rn . jays falls asleep in the deck a lot either taking watch or tinkering or just avoiding sleep. whenever gillion notices her he always carries her down to bed <3

they both info dump to each other <3 gillion loves talking about different sea creatures and life and plants and jay will talk all about her newest project and what she’s stuck on . then while ranting about it she’ll immediately figure out what was wrong with it and she’ll drag him along with her while she goes to fix it. he’s her good luck charm :)

the block arc (SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING PAST EP 54?) was. ouugh man :(

jay had nightmares every night after the block where her arrow killed gillion. she’d wake up and scramble out of bed to check that gillion was still alive shed pull him out of his barrel and check his pulse and just sob. :( very sad . on those nights they would go above deck and star gaze. sometimes they talked about what happened and other times they just held each other

SPOILERS FOR EP 91?

now that gillion has nightmares jay always stays with him while he’s calming down. she holds him and plays with his hair not saying much. it hurts because she’s had to watch chip and gillion go through horrible terrors and she doesn’t know how to comfort them . but jay just being there helps gillion <3

also gill’s love language is acts of service and physical affection and jay’s is words of affirmation and acts of service (although love language are really stupid because i think everyone should have a healthy amount of all 5. also there’s WAY more than 5. but these r just their favorite/go-to ways of affection + comfort)

hehe thank u for this ask anon <3 i hope u can find it in the mess of my blog sorry it was so late!!! i forgit then was eepy then had school and rehearsal </3

[cora0rr3m]

WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS TO AN IAHB FANFIC I LOVE (pls read it)

FUCHSPRELLEN WILL FOREVER WILL BE MY FAVORITE IAHB FANFICTION- (please read it im begging on my knees its so good its worth the 2-3 hrs reading it its on ao3)

ITS BOTH ANGSTY AND SCARY AT THE SAME TIME OML

PUNK SHERWIN?? YES

JONATHAN NOT REALIZING HE LIKES SHERWIN AHAHAHAH

and even saying that his faint freckles look like constellations omg plsss 😭😭💜💜💜

AND YHE FOREHEAD KISS AT THE END AAAAAA

OakwoodOuroboros IS SUCH A GOOD AUTHOR I SWEAR

OAK IF UR READING THIS UR WORKS ARE BEAUTIFUL PEICES OF POETRY (probably not but yes)

jonathan acting like sherlock holmes is so funny to me pls he even has a coat 💀

furry sherwin...?

THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN JON AND SHER AAAAAAAAA

jon just simply wanted to help sherwin omg pls kill me rn that is so cute 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[dollyyun]

HIIIIIIII IM SO SORRY BECAUSE IM NOT GIVING YOU ANY ASK CAUSE IM BUSY WITH MY ASSIGNMENT AND OTHER UNIS STUFF 🥲🥲🥲 BTWWWWW I JUST DONE READ THE PART 3 AND PART 4 OF THE DEVILS KNIGHTS PREY AND GUESS WHAT IM SO SO SO CRAZY RN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SUNGHOON AND JAY IS ONE OF MY BIAS LINE (ALL OF THE HYUNGLINE IS MY BIAS LINE TBH) SO THE SUNGHOON PART NEARLY MAKES ME IN THE CHOKEHOLD LIKE….I WANT SUNGHOON TO FUCK ME LIKE IM BEING FR RN (IM KIDDING OFC) THE WAY HE ALWAYS SO MEAN BUT SOFT AT THE END MAKES ME FEEL BUTTERFLIES INSIDE AND OFCC FOR OUR JAY WHY HE IS SO MEAN!!! LIKE WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH HARSH THINGS TO YN AT FIRST BUT EVENTUALLY HES BECOME SO SWEETT CAUSE I KNOW DEEP DOWN HE’S HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR HER (EVERYONE DOES) BOTH OF THEM IS SO MEAN! BUT AT THE SAME TIME IS SO SWEETTTT ARGH I LOVE IT SO MUCHHSHSJS AND I KINDA DONT LIKE YN FRIENDS (FOR NOW!) THE WAY KARINA SWITCH UP SO FAST FROM SUPPORTING YN TO MAD AT HER IS MAKES ME FEEL SOMETHING NGL LIKE……(I LOVE HER OKAYYY) YOU GUYS ARE THE SAME NGL LOL OKAY MAYBE THEY HAVE A CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT LATER (WHO KNOW?!)

AND YOU KNOW WHATTTTT IM SO EXCITED FOR HEESEUNG PART CAUSE IM A HEESEUNG GIRL!!!! LIKE IM DOWN BAD FOR HIM SO MUCHHHH PLS THE WAY HE’S SO OBSESSED WITH YN MAKES ME FEEL SOMETHING (IDK WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT) IT JUST FEELS RIGHT?!h/6393&:9 I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING RN BCS IM TOTALLY LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE I CANT WAIT FOR HEESEUNG PART AND THE TEASERS IS ALREADY MAKE ME GOING CRAZY CAUSE I WANT MOREE (BUT ITS OKAY TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY) AND ALSOOOOOO I CANT WAIT FOR THE FIVESOME PART CAUSE IM A SLUT FOR HYUNGLINE ( CAN YOU GIVE SOME SPOILERS HAHAHA HELP ACT NO WHY I’M SUCH AN IMPATIENT WOMAN 😭🙏🏻 )

AND PLSPLSPLSPLSPSLS TAKE A LOT OF REST AND DONT OVERWORK YOURSELFFFF OKAYY ILYSM ❤️❤️ AND JUST YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCHHH AND NEVER GET BORED OF IT!

and sorry for my broken english bcs english i not my first language 🙏🏻

- 🍓

hello bbg! lmao love the passive aggressiveness but naurr don't apologise! i understand that real life responsibilities come first <333 thank you sm for taking your time to read!🫶🏻

😭😭😭😭😭😭you're fr down bad for hee (same) and as for the fivesome, it may or may not happen in part 7 instead of part 6 bc y'know the saying of save the best for last?🏃🏻‍♀️💨 you know me, i always give out spoilers so you can expect some 🤓

thank you as well for the reminder! i've been juggling between school and writing (bruh i got way to immersive in my google docs, hence i'm not that active on tumblr) naurr don't worry about your english because it's not my first language either <3

i appreciate you so much ☹️🤍 ily and don't forget to take care of yourself as well!

[purretty-purrincess]

if u see this and ir an artstist please send in cool brushes for me tk test pretty please

alsnd also put in reqs if u want

theyre probs just gonna be doodles but i have so me freetime soooo

preferably vriska or terezi

amd also no spoilers?? idk how u would do that but its def possibke so dont if u can pls im on act 5 act 1 rn :3

vrisrezi is ok

sanu ships r ok as long as theyre not. weird

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

Helloo~

I’ve looked at your rules and I’m hopping this is within boundaries(if it’s not pls just delete). Anyways, I was wondering if you could do a scenario where Trey & Jamil SO finds that they have been cheating on them, idk if I wanna make them confront him or something but yeah👍 If you wanna do more characters that would be awesome too<3

This is just fine! the ask not them cheating. just wanted to clarify. I'm just realizing that I definitely made it too long but hopefully you like it!

Cw: Cheating, angst, me insulting high schoolers, cursing, also spoilers for an unreleased event in Jamil’s section 

Trey & Jamil Getting Caught Cheating

Trey Clover

How you found out:

You were watching tv, not expecting anything big to happen when you get a text from Cater. W for cater, L for trey

"Heyyy did u and trey brake up or smthg????? hes getting real cozy w/sum1 else rn. i saw him on another person's magicam and they were LITTERALY on his lap >:|"

You quickly said no and Cater sent you a link to the magicam account. Just like he said, Trey was feeling up someone else while you were completely unaware. But what really pissed you off was the caption:

"So glad we could celebrate our 3 month anniversary together! <3"

The Confrontation

You waited for Trey to text you to go on a date before actually confronting him about it. You weren't just waiting around doing nothing though, you and Cater were working together to gather enough evidence that Trey couldn't deny it.

You had both agreed to go to the park so you can embarrass him in front of a bunch of people

Every time he tried to kiss you or even touch you, you leaned away. It made you sick thinking about how he was acting like this with another person and without a shred of remorse. bitch

"Are you ok? You've barely spoken to me all day."

That's when you let him have it. Every magicam photo, comment, with dates and location. And there was a ton. Cater really did his homework

Trey stammered and tried to deny all of your claims. "They were just a friend. We were posing like that as a joke! We were kidding about the anniversary post!"

You were having none of it. Every lie he told you, you had a photo that said the exact opposite. the law has nothing on your best friend You decided to end the charades and showed him one last photo.

Dms between you and the person he was cheating on you with. Where they very clearly stating that they were dating Trey and were just as hurt to find out they were cheating as you were.

You walked away as Trey stood watching you fade from his view. Not only did he lose you, he lost most of the people he was ever close with. Justice is sweet 

Jamil Viper 

How you found out

You weren’t trying to be clingy but you were seeing your boyfriend less and less everyday. You asked Kalim if he was making Jamil work harder for any reason but he had quickly said no and that Jamil was actually leaving him earlier than usually lately. Why tf would you leave him alone 

Of course, this put you on edge. So you chose to do a little research of your own before confronting him about his disappearances. When scrolling through Kalim’s magicam because Jamil thinks he’s above social media and found an account with a familiar last name: Najma Viper. 

You message her and find out that she’s Jamil’s little sister, and you were also told that Jamil had been seeing someone else. She texted you saying “I thought that you were an ex or something because he was talking to me about dating someone completely different.”

That’s when an idea came to your mind. And you were going to need the help of a very willing younger Viper. Hell yea im making this messy and you cant stop me

The Confrontation 

You were unsure if your plan was going to work, but you had the ever-so-reliable element of suprise on your side. 

You met up with Jamil while he was preparing Kalim’s lunch. It was honestly the only time where you could gaurantee that he would be alone for a long period of time. Kalim eats like 3 courses for one meal like the growing boy he is 

“Hmm? Oh, there you are. I haven’t seen you a lot lately, darling.” hypocrite

You slowly start the conversation by asking why he hasn’t been around you as of late. He tries to convince you that it was actually you who had been changing your schedule to avoid him and not the other way around.

You then mention that even Kalim has noticed his odd behavior, which is when you notice a very brief change of expression on his face. Then, you continue to talk before doing a very carefully planned name drop.

“Even Najma’s confused about how you’ve been acting.”

He visibly paused. Think of a window’s error screen. He then tried to explain that his sister wasn’t to be trusted and that you shouldn’t have spoken with her.

You then pulled your phone out of your pocket and spoke into the phone. “Did you hear that? Can’t believe your own brother just said that about you.” 

Jamil quickly realized what you had done. You had brought his own sister as a witness to his trial of infidelity. You didn’t let him come up with a rebuttal before giving your final verdict. You broke up with him while he was still holding Kalim’s falafel. Ha. loser.

Oh well, you might have just lost your boyfriend but you still made a new friend along the way. :)

[azucanela]

Dating korra would include

BEING KORRA’S S/O[GENDER NEUTRAL]

BEING ZUKO’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: life with korra from confession to marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNINGS: no major spoilers 

A/N: SOMEONE WITH T A S T E, i hope you don’t mind but i kinda just did the same thing i did for my zuko headcannons so feel free to scroll straight to the during the relationship bit if you just want dating korra h/c :D 

also i have 300 followers now what, i literally had 200 like yesterday hi everyone <3 um i really need to start pulling out all the stops

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

she’s a simp.

that’s it. thats the headcannon. she has literally liked you since she met you and has said nothing, but you probably know since she’s so damn OBVIOUS ABOUT IT

korra is very in tuned with her emotions so when she realizes she likes you she’s pretty okay with it, a little more flustered during your interactions, but after a while her goal is to make you feel how she feel which is flustered.

she has no shame though, she knows she is hot and she wants you to know she thinks you are hot

lots of flirting on her end, so naturally you kinda begin to think she is joking and think nothing of it

this was not her intent, and now that you are desensitized to her flirting and not reacting flustered like you did when she first started she is frustrated™

you were not understanding that she very much likes you

stupid

she hasn’t said anything outright to you about it though, which is the main reason you are like lol this is a joke, my crush fake flirts with me i am okay

spoiler alert: you are not okay with this it hurts ow

so now shes getting ridiculously affectionate with you, which, tbh, she always was, but not its RIDICULOUS, korra is out here throwing an arm around your shoulder, randomly grabbing your hand, kissing your cheek

shes trying really hard to get her point across like really really hard

like painfully hard

if she likes you its probably because your fun, like you really spice up her life and introduce her to new things and go on really dumb adventures and really important missions with her and you put up with her and wow now korra is simping oops

you’re also probably forcing her to stay healthy, since i honestly think that despite having such an appetite, korra will forget to eat and take care of herself sometimes.

she is so bad at drinking water i swear to goD

there are two situations here

situation one is where korra finally realizes that you CANNOT READ SIGNALS AT ALL and decides she going to be upfront with you about her feelings

she’s either going to just flat out kiss you next time she sees you or spill all her emotions, of both in no particular order

you’re like reading in your room in the air temple, just vibing, and you see her coming towards you with a determined look on her face and you’re like ??? lol okay

you go back to reading only to have her hand reach under you jaw and she brings you into a kiss and now you’re like LOL OKAY

you honestly think that this is just another one of her stunts to get you flustered and means nothing

stoopid

and then she pulls apart and just starts spilling her feelings and you’re like :O omg me too 

and she’s like, “great, we’re dating now.” and suddenly she’s kissing you again, and between kisses you’re like, “im sorry what?”

“you heard me. do you have a problem with that?”

you just kiss her again

situation two is where you get sick of her and realize woah she may or may not be in love with you and so you confront her, and now there is a lot of yelling because you are frustrated™ and like screw you korra

you honestly think she is either madly in love with you and just doing this as a joke, and you genuinely think the latter is more like so you lowkey start crying and korra immediately begins to panic

she’s like, “why would i ever joke about that! i’ve literally been trying to get that through your thick skull this whole time!”

this time you kiss her first and korra is throwing a party in her head but she also feels really bad for making you cry oops

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

okay so korra happens to be very much a simp

and you happen to be very much the mom friend™ it doesn’t matter if you are a boy girl or none of the above, that is your trademark my friend

she’s very affectionate and now that the two of you are dating she is at a whole new level.

important meeting? you are in her lap she does not care. war meeting? she is cuddling you as you explain the plans of attack and DAMN DO YOU LOOK GOOD DOING it

since being the avatar is MUCH more a political position now though, she does try to keep your relationship slightly on the down low, even before you were dating, you both had reporters constantly asking about your relationship and she doesn’t really like that

they are nosy and she does not approve. korra understands wanting to know about her avatar duties, but anything outside of that in regards to her personal life annoys her

loves kissing you, and when she does it tends to be intense and passionate. after a particularly tough day though, her kisses can either be slow and sensual because she just wants to have a nice soft and domestic day with you

OR

they can be harsh and almost brutish, she will get rough with you because she is highkey pissed at everything that day and making out you with is her stress reliever

really likes cuddling and anything domestic in general. she’s really happy with you, and she kinda has all the love languages

she seeks validation when the press is particularly harsh since being the avatar is HARD and as much as she wants to, she cannot please anyone, so please tell her she is doing amazing

so many acts of service up in here, she will randomly do stuff for you, spontaneity is kinda her vibe ya know

very vocal and expressive about her feelings, communication is key with her

arguments aren’t a rarity tbh, but when they do happen they tend to be more of debates over little things like what’s better, pineapple pizza or no?

major fights tend to end poorly since she can be a little stubborn when it comes to such things, but she will admit she was wrong and apologize IF she was wrong

if she wasn’t wrong but the argument got out of hand, she’ll apologize for that but will affirm her correctness

kiss her scars, she has them, and she is proud of them but 

support her at her pro bending matches and she will DIE, so happy, literally sososososososo happy, hugs you, loves you, yes

treats you as an equal no matter what, even if people think that as the avatar she should see herself as something more than

very protective of you.

like if someone flirts with you, she is clingy x10. if someone hits on you despite your protests, she HITS them. if someone threatens to hurt you, she promises to end them. 

MARRIAGE N STUFF

WELP

she’s gonna realize she wants to propose when she almost loses you, or in the middle of a battle. when the reality of potentially losing you hits her she is gonna realize she wants to live out the rest of her life by your side, protecting you

situation one is where she literally, in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE, without a ring, just proposes. you are being a baddie, bending if you are a bender, fighting the opposing enemy, looking MIGHTY FINE while doing it

“marry me.”

you falter, nearly getting hit as your head whips over to her and you’re like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

and she throws a giant rock at the opposition, temporarily indisposing them, “yes?? why wouldn’t i be.”

Someone comes up behind you and you elbow them in the face and ram your foot into their knee, knocking them down, “RIGHT NOW?” 

she throws a whip of water in your direction and you dodge it, allowing her to take out the enemy behind you, and you throw a whole dagger at her to do the same. “that was close.” she narrows her eyes at you bc you lowkey look like you wanna kill her rn as you two hide behind a barricade for cover and an explosion washes over it, “you could’ve killed me.”

“you just about gave me a heart attack when you PROPOSED two minutes ago, need i remind you.”

korra raised a brow at you, “is that a no...?”

“do you even have a ring?”

korra gives you a look that gives you the answer and you groan, “i cannot believe you.”

“you really should’ve expected this.”

“i know.”

“i get to pick the ring then?”

“you’re probably going to plan the whole wedding.”

“alright.”

theres a boom from beyond the barricade you two have hidden behind as korra looks to you, “alright?”

“i’ll marry you.” you elaborate, giving her a bright smile.

situation two is more depressing lol

you have been SHOT oops, don’t die pls because korra CANNOT handle it after everything that has happened to her, so if you die she’s done

she’s kinda just sitting at your bed side and it hits her that you could die basically any day now, and she would have so many regrets

she wished she kissed you more, told you she loved you more, held you longer, spent more mornings with you and your bedhead, she wished she learnt to cook so that she could surprise you with a meal when you get home from a long day of work, she wishes she did a lot of things

she wishes you two were married.

korra is now having an existential crisis, and everyone is telling her that she has to go home, get some rest, you’ll wake up eventually, you’ll get better, but you don’t wanna wake up to korra being a mess

she knew they were right, you always scolded her for not taking care of herself, so she decided to follow some of their wishes

Korra cannot bring herself to go home, there are so many reminders of you that it hurts, and she kinda just decides she’ll stay in a hotel and wash up and such.

besides, you are her home.

after leaving the hotel, she ends up going the jeweler and buying the ring she believes screams you

when korra returns to the hospital, she contemplated proposing right then and there, before realizing that you’d probably yell at her for choosing such a ridiculous time and you already had a lot on your plate

once the two of you return home and you are in the midst of recovery, she did learn to cook, so you wouldn’t feel the need to do so, and given your situation she fears you’ll injure yourself further in the process.

you two are eating dinner and you’re babbling on about something you’d read, and she suddenly decides to get up and walk over to you, leaving you like ???

then she gets down on one knee and you are like :O

she’s like, “marry me.”

naturally, you start crying and nodding because wow this is such an intimate moment and just happiness

kissinggggg after that 

the wedding is, under NO CIRCUMSTANCE public, the most private and intimate wedding ever. korra hates reporters after her life as the avatar, she doesnt want strangers at her wedding.

any and everyone she has ever fought beside is there though, its wholesome and nice

definitely cries when she sees you at the altar

her vows are MASTERFUL AND TEARJERKING 

its a pretty basic wedding though, unless you prefer something over the top, the food is nice a mix of both your cultures and favorite things and there’s beautiful lighting

definitely done on air temple island, and tbh tenzin would probably walk you down the aisle because i said so

married life with her is even better, she lives for he domesticity of it all, especially lazy sunday mornings with the light filtering in and you just looking all pretty and having a lil fun

iykyk

honeymoon in the spirit word lads

bolin is your number one supporter

life with korra is a 10/10 i do recommend it

A/N: im kinda in love with korra lol this requests made me happy

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[murple]

jar of rebuke liveblog-ish

So I started listening to jar of rebuke and it’s very cool (and VERY gender)

I’ve been jotting down notes for each episode, some during, some after, bc I have a feeling this goes far, far deeper than Jared having movie nights after work. It’s... long, bc I binge, so it’s under the cut

spoilers up to ep 9

there’s none for ep 1 and 2 because I didn’t think to do this yet rip

Ep 3 • Pretty certain that Jared's backstory is Not Good, very dark • *martin imitating Jon voice* curse this flesh prison • Headaches are directly related to the memories arent they

Ep 4 • Gay • I refuse to be an oblivious aro this time. I ship it • Hell yeah immortality in action • But why is he immortal??? Is he a Spooky creature? • God I can't wait for the Dramatic Reveal to Darius that Jared is immortal

Ep 5 • Fuck todd • Yeah I fully ship jared with darius • Jared your job is evil (by this I mean the Enclosure, obviously not Jared. He’s too sweet to be evil)

Ep 6 • Good for him he needs a break and friends • Dog-inspired gender crisis hell yeah • Oof pls no more dog noises I hate it. Freaks me out. I have a semi-rational fear of dogs and dont like this

Ep 7 • Jared get a better therapist. I understand why you can't but. Pls. • Really jarring going from jared meaning flesh monster jock to mysterious spooky introvert who just wants friends • Once again, jared your job is evil • GET!! THIS!! LAD!! MORE!! FRIENDS!! • FUCK YEAH CANON NB PROTAG • Ngl all the Gender Talk is making me so happy it just hits so deep in my heart

Ep 8 • Wear a toque dude • He's so empathetic towards these creatures this is how he'll save the world • HEY NO BAD. Dont tell jared not to have empathy!!! • I dont trust this new doctor guy • RIP Jared you better get good at your natural scientist cover real quick • IM SORRY WHAT WAS THAT GLITCH?

Ep 9 • Jared's having a generally bad time isnt he • (Fun fact: my autocorrect wanted me to type "Jared's having a genderfluid" which uhh mood) • The fact that he's tied to the Enclosure through sheer isolation sounds uhhhh cultish • His therapists are OBVIOUSLY not acting with his best interests (making friends and being at peace with himself) in mind, I bet they're part of a larger plot • THE GLITCHING IS BACK • WHAT DOES IT MEAN

As of ep 9, I have 3 theories:

the amnesia thing is legit and jared got his abilities through the Incident

the amnesia thing is legit, but intentional,  bc jared is a supernatural creature that the Enclosure is trying to control

jared was created by the Enclosure for some deeper nefarious purpose

I'm leaning towards number 2 rn, because :

it's cool

explains why no one from his past came after him, since the records are probably falsified

his therapists are sketch and arent helping him remember, which leads to

whatever they're hiding abt him is hella sketch, like, if his backstory was truly as normal as they say, they wouldn't go to such measures to hide it, which ties in with

they dont let him see his medical scans so there might be something physically up with him

he doesn't know what type of creature could make scenario 1 happen, and the only good reason they have for hiding that is bc they’re sketch af

the supernatural just REALLY likes him. maybe it senses something in him???

Anyways I'm really enjoying this, I only have 2 thoughts and they are "oooh cool mystery I can't wait to theorise" and "GET!! THIS!! LAD(?)!! MORE!! FRIENDS!!"

[gerberbabey]

euphoric | prologue | JJ Maybank (kinda? slowburn)

a/n: that euphoria!reader/outer banks concept i thought of is now just gonna be written into existence cus i might as well indulge myself. This’ll mention things from Euphoria (like characters and events, so possible spoilers if you’re planning to watch Euphoria) but it’s not technically a crossover? cus it stays in the OBX...but yeah. 

lemme tell you rn, im a mess, im kinda high, and i suck at writing so if anyone would love to help me out here pls do (like pls i need help) also if anyone actually knows anything about OBX, NC, any of that, damn i could rlly use some help cus idk anything aside from the show

summary: set just a few weeks before the main plot, you literally just ended your sophomore year at East Highland and suddenly you’re moving from California to the Outer Banks. 

masterlist | previous | next

warnings: cursing, lack of the pogues (sorry) 

prologue - ♫ devil eyes by Hippie Sabotage ♫

It was one thing to be moving out of some town in California, it was another to be moving all the way across the goddamned country to live on an island off the coast of North Carolina. The sudden announcement had caused a variety of things to play out for you. Firstly, in an impulsive act of rebellion (of course after an argument had blown up between you and your parents), you had decided to stay at your friend Lexi’s house for 2 weeks. Aside from comfort you, Lexi didn’t really say anything about it and neither did her family. Her mom was pretty much the advocate for the whole “you do you, just don’t get pregnant or die” mindset when it came to teenagers. 

When you realize that no act of rebelliousness or stupid teenage rioting would change your parents’ decision in the least (because it wasn’t really something they could change now that your clear head thought about it), you’d sucked it up and decided to just enjoy the last of your time with your friends. 

By the time you’d come to that conclusion, school was gonna be let out in just a mere 3 weeks and (luckily for you) parties were already being thrown on weekdays. As much as you hated a majority of East Highland’s students you didn’t let that deter you from leaving with some good fucking memories. 

Saying goodbye to all of your friends was more overwhelming than the actual move itself if you were being completely honest. Getting on the plane and flying off to North Fucking Carolina was more of a numbing experience. It was like you couldn’t really feel anything anymore after having to say goodbye to the friends and the life you had known. 

“I think we’ve just used every method of transportation in one day,” you stated as you walked away from the ferry and toward the van that your parents had rented to help with the move. 

“You’re trippin’, we didn’t even ride a train,” your older brother, Isaiah, pointed out as he squinted at the van. Barely 30 minutes in the Outer Banks and you were sweating your ass off already. Not that you weren’t used to something like heat, Southern California could be pretty brutal in the summer, but this was a fucking island. The air was damp and musty and the fabric of your clothes felt like it was melting into your skin. 

“What are you, the fucking transportation police, Jesus,” you mumbled as you shot him a look before forcing yourself to settle into the van. 

The ride to your new house wasn’t anything too terrible considering you decided to just put in your AirPods and close your eyes with the thought that, maybe you’ll fall asleep, and once you woke up this whole thing would be some fucked up dream. Sure your phone vibrated with messages within your group chat but your mind was too boggled from the heat and from the move for you to even think about responding.

____________________________

“Do you guys see those moving trucks too or am I just imagining things?” John B pointed out as the HMS Pogue drove at a leisurely pace through the waters. 

“You’re not imagining anything, just a new kook family moving into Figure 8,” Kie piped up from where she was relaxing. 

School had let out not only a few days ago when her mom had let her know about the new family that would be moving in just a few houses down from their own. She’d told Kie that she had met the mother a few weeks back and basically relayed any and all information she’d gained about the new family.

“My mom said that they’re like business owners or something? They have three kids and they’re moving here from California,” Kie explained and JJ let out a whistle. 

“Big move,” he took a hit of his Juul before forming an ‘o’ with his mouth and exhaling out the smoke. 

“Yeah can’t imagine why someone would wanna move from California to here,” Pope raised his eyebrows as their group watched movers bustle back and forth as though they were an army of ants. 

“Well why wouldn’t they, it’s the Outer Banks, “Paradise on Earth’,” John B declared and JJ let out a whoop in agreement as the boat sped off toward the marsh. 

____________________________

“I know I promised that I wouldn’t complain or whatever but it’s sooooo hot,” your younger sister, Bethanie, whined with a stomp of her foot. You scoffed as you stepped out of the van after her. You watched with a raised brow as men bustled about the new (large) house that you would have to begin calling home. The house was not modest in the least and you couldn’t help but balk a little at the sight. 

Sure you weren’t poor or anything but considering the ridiculously high cost of living that came with residing in California, this place was definitely more indulging than your old house.

“We’re on an island in the middle of summer, you moron,” Isaiah was quick to retort as he began taking luggage out of the back off the van. You took your attention off the house before you as you pulled your sunglasses from your eyes and settled them at the top of your head. You glanced between your two siblings and you prepared to watch your older brother lose a battle against your younger sister. Again.

“Mom! Zaya just called me a moron!” 

“Bea, oh my god, I was kidding!” the eldest was quick to defend himself as the youngest ran off to their mother. 

“No, you weren’t!” her fading voice called out and Isaiah threw his head back in frustration.

“Ok really, what did you expect?” you raised your brows at your brother and tried not to laugh at him as he flipped you off. 

“Why is she such a snitch? Seriously, like were you this much of a snitch?” 

“I mean I could’ve been, but I know that if I snitch on you, your stupid ass would snitch on me,” you pointed out matter of factly as a man shut the trunk of the van and waved you and your brother off so that him and another man could begin to take your luggage inside. 

“Damn you’re right. I thank you for your service,” Isaiah saluted you and you let out a laugh as you settled your cat-eye sunglasses back onto the bridge of your nose. There was a short moment of silence before you sighed heavily. 

“I really think I’m gonna hate this place…” you said, and Isaiah hummed in response but made no reply. He didn’t need to point out the defeat or the seriousness in your tone because he felt it just as badly. 

“Hey, mom says you guys have to settle into your rooms and change,” Bea came running out of the front door, dressed in an entirely new outfit. You and Isaiah cut your moping short and gave each other looks of disbelief. 

“Why?” you questioned and Bea shrugged without care. 

“We’re gonna have dinner with Dad’s coworker or something, the Cameron’s, I don’t know.” 

[ferrethyun]

tea i am sleepy on the train ride to my university but pls tell us more about m/n in HMSU and mythos like give me his character arc, does hebfo cereal then milk or the other way, dream m/n pls more love for m/n bc in every prompt and au he's really going thru it 😂 and im rooting for him ówò

W H E LL. I’m in the middle of a life drawing class but lemme tell you owo. Also pls do try to get enough sleep 🥺🥺 ur health matters 🥺

My poor boy M/n

Lemme tell u abt HMSU M/n the best that I can without spoilers for the upcoming series. S O.

- Lemme answer the cereal on for HMSU. he’s not a serial killer so it’s obvious cereal then milk uwu

- He definitely has some unresolved daddy/mommy issues

- Hits the gym like. Every other day. Beefy boy

- I put him at the same age as Hobi. And he grew up in the same town

- Obviously his hobby’s are art and violin uwu

- He’s rlly a soft boy who puts up all these walls to try and not get hurt 🥺🥺🥺

- Acts like the older teenage brother to the members of canvas but high key protective of them all as the leader uwu

-Has mad respect for yoongles but won’t admit it to the public.

I don’t wanna get too much into their relationship so u can send in some more asks abt them together if you want owo

— Mythos M/n bc I just wanna talk abt him too uwu

- Ghosty beby. My son. I love.

- has a fat crush on all of them but we bin knew

- Puts his milk before his cereal. Or maybe even water 👀

- Will brush his teeth and then drink orange juice. Like.

- Alignment Chaotic Evil 100/10

- Thrives on Halloween. April fools. Birthday bumps. U name it.

- Mischievous once you get to know him

- Idk what I can say abt him before I get into stuff I already have said owo’’

Pls do send more if you care to uwu. I’ve completely forgotten that I have like 3 other aus running for this boy and it’s like. A mafia, hybrid and vampire au øwø”. I feel sorry for those m/ns bc they’re just left behind rn

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

[wolfwhiteflowers]

my thoughts rn after ep 3 aired and rick’s final ep coming soon. 

I’m holding it all in all week im like dslkfjlafj. 

So ep 3 aired already and it’s another good TF episode ofc but its like “too late” There was some Carick scene and a lot of good Richonne/family moments!

It’s cool to see the Richonne family scene and Richonne acting lovely dovely domestic because war is over. But it’s like feels forced in a way that ....it’s not them being settled in peacefully (and TF moments too) but it like makes me think it’s because it’s Rick’s last times. So whatever it’s “too late”. I feel kinda weird seeing so much R/M/J moments. We don’t see family moments often from them (this show smh)...and usually Carl is with Judith. Anyways, my headcanon is Carl isn’t dead, he’s moved out of home to Hilltop to be a blacksmith apprentice (comics). It’s a reason why he’s not with R/M/J that much. Carl’s adulting.

The war is over. Richonne is ready for a baby! I hope it happens but spoilers haven’t mentioned about it much, unfortunately. I think if it didn’t happens omg shippers are gonna be confused and pissed. I’m fine with deleted scenes..as long they appear in DVDs. But I heard the sex scene-ish was longer and there’s even ILU moment in it? OMG noooo I just want a final sweet ILU Richonne scene. If they deleted that scene and it’s the final one, then I’m even more disappointed on this show. I hope there’s one scene where it’s an intimate ILU scene between Richonne before he goes. Or give me a fanart of it, pls.

So ep 4 is coming soon and then ep 5. Idk what to do about it. I see spoilers and I try to avoid them but eh. I kinda know what’s going on. I just don’t knoooooow what to do. Either way I’m gonna be sad. If he’s dead or missing, it still means TWD is like done..no more Rick Grimes. I hope he goes missing and is in Commonwealth etc. because wtf TWD is Rick. I want happy endings. Idk. Some articles are hinting on this and I just eh hope it’s not trolling. Fandom is emotional and sensitive rn. Yeah... I hope it’s like he goes missing and then like some day the series finale comes, Rick Grimes reunite with his family.

I noticed the ep4 sneak peek on Carick. OMG ... It’s sad. Carick bro times (finally and AL mentioned Carick eh FEELS and it’s ‘too late’ argh) and this dumb plot where TWD players/TF reject Rick’s/Carl’s plan on keeping the group together = the bridge. blah blah drama. I like this plot idea but I wish it’s the other way or whatever. I had this idea from s8 where TF come together to save Rick.  So eh that’s not gonna happen..that’s when after Rick’s leaves. Like that’s the same plot with Carl..I mean I’ve been calling the last Rick’s episodes “AOW pt2″ or “Carl’s dreams pt 2.”

I just ...eh. :( I can’t wait when ep 5 airs and a week later. The whole promotion (x100 cos TWD is a huge franchise) on Rick’s leaving is done with and we finally move on with it. Then Idk fans gonna brace the grieving depressing TWD show. wtf MIchonne and Judith tho. If Rick goes missing and it’s open ended. Idk I hope then Michonne is like “ok im crazy.....I still believe Rick is alive.” where others believe he’s dead.Then she goes on a boat or travel and finds Rick (similar to the comics where she finds Elodie.) 

Oh btw, I’m like asldkfjl; I’m loving the tv-Richonne in s9 and comic-Richonne being like similar. It’s cool so far. Different time in the story and different situations but really guys it’s interesting. Laws and stuff. I hope comic-Richonne don’t become enemies but rule the world together. 

I want to make a Carick fanvid. But i suck at this and :( ...I don’t think others care about it much but maybe I make one after ep 5. Because i take forever making one. But like whatever if some cares maybe they can find it and watch it, if i make one. Or someone make one! :P 

..yeah s9 ‘rick’s ep.s’ im here for carick and richonne/fam. ofc, caryl.