#No proof from anyone for anything
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n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
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it’s so insane how some of the ot6 fans are reacting to the news of seunghan coming back because i think for a while, they really thought they won. they thought he was gonna be another idol who was gonna get kicked out for doing normal human shit that for some reason, bothers them to the core. things he did PRE DEBUT were bothersome to this people.
but then, he came back. if it wasn’t for the members constantly supporting him behind the scenes and the fans who were constantly reminding sm that they cared about him and wanted him back then maybe this wouldn’t happen and it’s truly sad to think how these crazy fans who have no life almost controlled the narrative yet again.
i am glad seunghan was not another victim of this. it must have taken a lot of courage and self determination to continue despite being slandered by the media and the ot6 fans and also other kpop stans. all of this to say, that i hope another situation like this doesn’t happen again. it’s too normal in this industry to punish idols for being human but i hope this starts a shift in the right direction
#i was just thinking abt this#i’ve seen so many of these ot6 korean stans talking shit#and harassing him but sending death wreaths to sm#(apparently they are gonna be fined for it lmfaooo)#but yeah i was just thinking about how people#punish idols for small things#and then think they are victorious when they kick them out#these companies just let that shit happen and it’s all bc#these fans are too parasocial and have no life#and for some reason their opinion matters more than#the opinion of the majority of the fanbase#it’s annoying#i hate how this is normal and it truly makes no sense#i was one of those fans that was waiting for him to comeback#and even tho i was losing faith i always hoped that one day#we were gonna get a confirmation of anything#even i was fine with the idea of him leaving bc the past months#must have been harsh on him#and i don’t think anyone would want to comeback in these conditions#but i am glad he had support from the members#and was determined to keep going#all of this to say WE CANT LET WEIRDOS WIN !!!#and i hope after this situation shit starts to change#this is proof that if you keep pushing it brings results#tris.txt
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that list and just like everything surrounding it is making me feel so icky i need to crawl into a hole
#what the fuck!!! is up with this fandom!!! and the callouts!! and the lists!!!! genuinely!!!!!!! it’s so fucking bad!!!!#stop harassing people!!!! for the love of god!!!!#i understand being made uncomfortable by some things. i understand it completely#but you don’t need to go around ANONYMOUSLY sending full ass lists of people just wanting to mind their own business to people#especially without any kind of proof#you’re not doing any good with that#if you wanna “warn” someone or fucking whatever. do it sparingly and *privately*. to friends. to people you know. at the very least#you don’t have to shout it from the rooftops because that’s not going to do anything good for anyone#anyway i’ll probably delete this later i know i said i was done but i’m just. mad. and tired#rambles#just be kind to people for the love of god it’s not that hard
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have this for ur day
THIS IS THE MOST GEORGE THAT GEORGE HAS EVER LOOKED I LOVE GEORGE (the people who follow this blog all yell in unison because this is the most perfect image to ever exist)
I hope u had the bestest day!!!
#i'm sorry to assume ur as insane as me just because ur following me but i'm 98% sure i'm correct#everytime i say anything i'm so sure i'm representing a whole community of us#his heavy eyelids#his straight eyebrows#big hands#slightly crooked fingers#the WOUNDS ON HIS HANDS FROM DRUMMING#the LITTLE MOLE#he's just a specimen and i KNOW you all agree. i don't even take discussions#“have this for ur day” PLS this fueled the rest of my week#i hope UR having the best day!!!!!!!#if anyone's reading the tags i hope ur doing alright#please hmu if u wanna proof-read something because I'm stuck on like 7 different wips#ilu <3333333
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i just remembered that. in "mac kills his dad" dee and dennis try to come up with a reason that life is worth living and neither of them can do it. dee's futile sounding "what makes me happy in life........." as she tries to come to terms with the fact that nothing does. or at least nothing that can be described as either normal or healthy. you can know you're miserable but never really lay it out in front of you
#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#dee reynolds#mac kills his dad#iasip#i would have included frank in this post but the whole joke is that#he was entirely sincere w bill LOL#in a horrible guy way#like if you asked anyone in the gang what makes them happy#they'd probably say something like getting blackout drunk#but considering bills situation that obviously would not.... fix the problem#dennis and dee don't have anything else to fall back on#their insincerity is proof of their unhappiness#not that they'd necessarily be sincere if they were happy#but they would certainly be different people#frank on the other hand is far from a happy guy but i think he's much closer to bill's place in life#comparatively to the others#they all see the use in drinking themselves to death but frank understands what bill wants out of that#idk there was supposed to be some concluding thought there#and there was not#but that's okay#cw suicide#(in tags)
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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honestly thinking more about mouthwashing and how badly every one failed anya. especially curly
#like. the way jimmy didnt even see her as a person but as proof of his wrongdoing#which he didnt even see as “wrong” only as consequence#like the baby horror sequences. he did not care aout anya at all only of the evidence of his crimes#and the way anya only told anyone (curly) about the assault because she was pregnant#and knew that jimmy was going to react violently#and the way curly did literally nothing tangible to help anya#after she trusted him. and he said he would do anything to help her#while not even bothering to protect her in any way#because he believed jimmy was a “good guy” while knowing he assaulted a woman#and boy curly sure did suffer for it!#thinking about how “take responsibility” means different things for jimmy and curly.#for jimmy “taking responsibility” is about heing punished for the things he did#and for curly “taking responsibility” is about helplessly witnessing the events he allowed to unfold#through his inaction#thinking about how swansea suspected what was up with jimmy but his first instinct was to protect daisuke. not anya#and how daisuke just didnt know what was going on. and was unaware of the dynamics between the crew.#or rather than being unaware was possibly trying not to think about it#because he jad to have noticed anya withdrawing. jimmy's odd behavior. the severity of the situation#and he remained oblivious because he could#because he was in a position where he was not targeted by jimmy and he had swansea looking out for him#anya didnt have either things#anya was the most vulnerable person on that ship from the beginning and was successfully taken advantage of#and hurt time and time again#not to say curly deserved what hapkened to him but.#being forced to witness the consequence of his inaction while completely unable to do anything but literally witness it#is like a poetic fate#confluence.txt
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Ooooookay so not sure im gonna keep going to walmart to get my groceries unless absolutely necessary cuz the one closest to my house is awful
Its fucking massive. The app tells you the wrong aisles for everything. And there were way too many fucking people. Not a fan.
#also experienced some culture shock going into a gas station and the cashiers being behind bullet proof glass#theres also like. armed guards at the smaller grocery stores#walmart did not have guards#by the time i got to the gas station from walmart my brain was so fried i couldnt register that there was a keypad on the pump#i normally pay inside anyway but i didnt really feel like talking to anyone after walmart#but then i put my card in and it was like “enter your pin or hit enter to continue”#and for the life of me i could not find the damn keypad#so i went inside anyway#and then once i started putting gas in my car THEN i saw the keypad#which i probably looked directly at before but ugh#I FORGOT TO GET GRANOLA BARS AGAIN#AHHHHH#im so tired#im so glad my job requires very little mental energy#cuz i dont know that i have the bandwidth for anything else this week#and its only monday#but i can handle work#work is easy#i mean the project im working on rn is annoying but its not HARD#the boxes are just messy as fuck and it takes awhile to sort through#like fucking hell why you gotta just shove the papers in and get them all bent out of shape#this is a mess#also me and my mom apparently both wanted toaster waffles today cuz we both bought them on our respective shopping trips#so we're stocked up for awhile lol#same kind same size box and everything lol
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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people who justify their dislike something via moralization are the most miserable boring lazy people out there imo.
pointing to something and just saying its problematic is not a legitimate form of media criticism. sorry.
#I am begging people to learn the difference between weather something is bad (<- claim of aesthetic truth which requires proof)#or just not for them (<--statement of subjectivity which does not require evidence)#I award no points for pointing out a plot detail and saying it's ''''''problematic''''' as if it means anything at all. you've functionally#contributed nothing#can you elaborate on that? otherwise why'v you even say it#what happened to engaging with what the text#I find that most people will use it as a conversation ender like that absolves them of trying to articulate their thoughts#to claim there is nothing more of value this piece can offer after they slap this label on it acting as if they inoculated themselves from#any form of reproach they might receive. it's an incredibly insincere and incurious form of approaching art#at this point I don't trust anyone who uses the word 'problematic unironically. say what you actually mean#low-key becoming the same with weird(o) if you truly feel the need to obfuscate then you might need to reassess your phrasing#personal#rant post#writing#fandom#it's disheartening because I remember the there was less of it and it was less accepted#if you don't want to think about something too hard (which I too am guilty of occasionally-i get it) then you don't have to but know your#aesthetic testimony loses significant value
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I'm gonna say something controversial and I don't care what y'all think of me after because a) I'm right and b) it's called a difference of opinion
twenty one pilots first 2 albums (self titled and vessel) were genuinely beautiful works of art and it was honestly really fucking weird that everyone decided they were Problematique because they "made music to profit off mentally ill people" as if they couldn't just be mentally ill people making art for themselves and the people like them. also there's no way you can listen to oh miss believer and not be moved
#i just think it was sooooo weird that with literally 0 proof peoe decided the 2 members couldnt be mentally ill#there is no way anyone could write friend please without having had a friend who committed or tried to commit suicide#because that song is exactly what it feels like to have your friend violently ripped away from you by their illness#sorry if youve never been 13 sobbing on your bed listening to vessel because someone finally understands how you feel#but that shit was powerful and i will never believe that someone who wasnt mentally ill could write those lyrics#and yall are fucking stupud if you think its wrong for people to use their own illnesses in their art#ok mic dropped#(side note i do like some of blurryface just not nearly as much‚ wasnt super into trench and havent listened to their latest)#so thats why i said the first 2 specifically#its great if you like the later ones too i just personally think those 2 are their strongest#also inb4 someone says well theyre bad in another way: thats not what this post is about lol#didnt say they were amazing role mods whove never done anything wrong. i havent kept up with them in years so idek what they may have done
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i'm just gonna say it. on the app that could reasonably be called Misinformation: The Website, where you have no good reason to believe almost anything that anyone says, where people are known to play genuine fucked up long cons where they go so far as to fake a disability, or stage scenes of verbal/emotional abuse with their partners, or make some other incredibly serious claim only to eventually come out and admit that they lied or faked it to be *interesting* or whatever... i think it's wise to take the anecdote of a single random person with a grain of salt
#if it was in any other format on any other website yknow#but it's just not even framed like an 'i'm coming out to talk about this' type video#tiktok is genuinely a platform of ANY attention being good attention to the point that 'always believe victims'. as awful as it seems#has to stop applying. because ppl fr make the most heinouse lies on there and are PROVEN to have lied#like there simply has to be a layer of suspicion here cmon. i'm worried and anxious too but i'm not gonna take one video as FACT#i'm frankly shocked that the masses are doing just that rather than just saying 'wtf i hope this isn't true'#if there's some other stuff beyond the one video that i just haven't seen yeah please send it to me i guess#but if it really is just the one video i really don't understand why this is happening#ntm how vague the story even is?#its literally 'he wanted to have sex and i said no and i heard he had sex with someone from my hs'#no names no reciepts no anything except proof that they did meet#theres plausible deniability of her even corroborating the story that anything happened to anyone else#bc she didnt even say that she heard FROM the other girl herself or anything#literally all this is rn is a story from someone who wanted to say that nick isnt babygirl#like sorry but im gonna need to hear a bit more before i do anytbing drastic
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the bad news is i spent about an hour (after already getting home late) wandering around my apartment crying because i couldn't find my computer mouse anywhere. checking every place it could be twice, three times, knowing i don't lose things because of how badly it messes me up, only finally finding it at the cusp of a very bad meltdown in a place that i had already checked once before (and only once bc i knew i hadn't seen it in there the other day). had to take meds and cbd and lay on the floor for a long time and i still don't really feel ok.
but the good news? i won $100 in a raffle through work. so that's neat.
#personal#eating and drinking will probably help a lot right now but they're kinda the last things i want to do#takes too many spoons#and my entire face hurts from crying#therapist brain is asking me what that whole computer mouse search ordeal might have felt like if i wasn't alone#and first answer is i wouldn't have let myself get so worked up bc my Being Upset and Fixated is apparently very bad#always made my mom really upset#so probably not a safe thing to express#around anyone. any. one.#i don't know that i woulda been able to really hold it in tho with how upset i got. though maybe i wouldn't have spiraled so much?#a second pair of eyes wouldve been helpful but i also can't imagine not being made to feel like an idiot about it all#i kept saying to myself that *i don't lose things*. it's *not like me* and i even cited what my shrink has said#about how much i clearly DO care about things and always act with INTENT. and i felt that all about to shatter in the face of the proof#that i wasn't. proof that i WAS careless. proof that saying i'm anything but a thoughtless careless waste#was just another lie i was telling myself (and believing it so thoroughly i didn't even know i was lying)#and then i found the mouse. in a spot that i know made sense at the time#i at least managed not to throw it at the wall and shatter it. i didn't even want to. the mouse didnt do anything wrong#i can't even imagine a possible scenario where having another person with me when that happened would have been a good thing#where i would have been safer (and not just bc i was masking and bottling it all up) and not made to be a monster#other people aren't safe#why would they be? i'm certainly not
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I remember when someone came up in my ask box accusing one of my mutuals of being biphobic, I asked them for proof since I'd been following them for years and saw nothing but support for bisexuals(they too were bi) and anon accused me of being biphobic and not caring about bisexuals like...my guy make it make sense.
#my stuff#i like thinking of things from years ago like...is that anon ok now#anywho if ur gonna accuse anyone of anything have some fucking proof#and if they have a secret blog or whatever have proof thats their blog like...#come on man#ur not gonna fear monger me into cutting off ppl for no reason like
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Matsuda Touta is not actually stupid and this is a hill that I am prepared to die on.
#he’s just young and inexperienced and in way over his head#and half of the people he is surrounded by are literal geniuses#it’s very rarely anyone on the actual police force who are finding connections and coming up with conclusions#he’s not any more useless to them than any of the other characters#he just lacks the confidence and authority of the others#he’s honestly mostly just in his own way#there are tons of incredibly useful things that he brings to the table#90% of the time he’s doing something that’s ridiculed he is either letting his insecurity/fear of what the others think of him get to him#or he’s not even doing anything wrong everyone is just too tense to cope with the fact that he’s retained a sense of#cheerful and carefree joy#but there isn’t actually anything WRONG with being able to think gadgets are cool or fan girl over your fav idol being around#if more people were able to find things to smile about during the whole ordeal it would have honestly improved everyone’s experience#people keep treating him like his cheerful innocence and relatively young age are barriers but name one good reason that they are#it literally allows him to be helpful on several ocassions#from things as small as being able to hang out undercover with Light’s friends#to things like actually being really great in the Misa manager role before he’s gotta fake his own death#and like yeah he super jumped the gun on that one but that doesn’t make him stupid#some people talk like the degradation of his innocence in the last arc is proof of him having use#but he was useful all along#it’s not a boon to his character that the plot traumatizes him#the whole point is that it is a tragedy that it does#and I feel like the narrative itself does not utilize his character as effectively as it could#because by rights he’s the heart of the group#and honestly a foil to Light#like it’s not an accident that Light describes innocence and naïveté as qualities that better himself from others#and then continues to not at all exhibit those traits whereas Matsuda does#I am so tired that I don’t think I’ve actually completed any of the arguments I started making here#but this IS a hill I will die on#resident Matsuda enjoyer and defender#death note
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thoughts in tags oops
funniest possible response to getting my gender marker changed
#In my state you can correct your documents to say X (dont gotta be nonbinary it can be used by anyone who wants to)#And documents can also be corrected to say INTERSEX#And you don't gotta submit proof of transition or anything (under 18s need a doctor note) which is neat :D#Tbh it's brought me great comfort to be able to grow into my maleness rather than to simply declare myself male after I've “become one”#And we're currently working on a law that makes it a bit easier for felons to legally transition which is great#Because trans people who have been homeless/sex workers/addicts are disproportionately policed#Of course the process of legally changing your name and sex marker here is only easi/er/. Not easy.#I spent a whole 9 months having to pay for neccessary perscriptions out of pocket#Because I had to manually get my records changed with Every. Single. Doctor. Even ones within the same office#Like. Surely there's a way to do it just once and have it reflected in the entire system automatically#Infuriating#And that was AFTER I spent 6 months just filling out paperwork and getting bg checks and waiting for my new birth certificate in the mail#It took approximately 2 years from begining to end to be fully completely and universally recognized as my true name and gender#And you know what?#I just found out there's Another place I have to change it#*sigh*#Anyway this is really funny!
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