#No I don't care if your one has really good rates or is actually really generous with free draws/currency
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match-your-steps · 3 months ago
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just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.
#listen I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE#I mean I'm slightly saddened because I did like it#but he straight-up says it's fully actual physical stop-motion animation at the beginning (factually incorrect)#then later says you won't appreciate the movie unless you like lego a lot and know all about it#specifically saying 'if you can tell the Lego Wild West town from its pirate ship from its spaceman set' (direct quote)#like um idk bro... are you saying you can't???#also this does insinuate that there is one specific set for each of these#which is also factually incorrect but I'm not really mad about that#and then in the comments he kept trying to defend himself by saying stuff about how the movie has a 90%ish rating on rotten tomatoes#and therefore 10% of people didn't like the movie#which is actually. an insane oversimplification of statistics. that's like saying if there are 10 children with an average of 4.5 apples#per child and each child can have a maximum of 5 apples#then 9 of the children must have 5 apples and the other 1 must have none#the 90% in fact includes a large number of people who rated it at 3.5-4.5 stars which is means a lot of them really actually did like it#and just didn't think it was the best movie ever ever in existence or maybe they just had some small qualm with it#the final straw was that someone left a very nice very kindly written piece of constructive criticism asking if maybe the reviewer would#consider saying what about the humor he didn't like (or what kind of humor it was) next time so that the viewer would know whether they#would like it or not as well and I read this and thought 'surely he will respond courteously to at least this one' and he said.#basically 'it's not that the kind of humor didn't suit my tastes. it just wasn't funny'#WHAT THE FREAK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#ALL THIS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WRITING A NEGATIVE REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S YOUR ACTUAL OPINION AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE CONTRARY#BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AN OPINION IS??????#it's MY opinion that it was funny#it's YOUR opinion that it wasn't#you don't get to arbitrarily say that the only reason you disliked the humor was because it was 'bad'#even ethics aren't this black and white#there was another thread where a commenter pointed out that the reviewer seemed to assume there was such a thing as a universal definition#of a good movie and he repeatedly refused to explain himself. like in an 'are you stupid. this isn't worth my time' way#but I won't get into that
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belladonnafleur · 8 months ago
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welp
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#im hiding this in the tags bc im scared of getting flamed on the Reading Comprehension website but#as someone who does asian studies i really want to caution people from interpreting 4b in a western feminist lense and making assumptions#bc different parts of asia esp almost non-english speaking parts of asia have different ways of thinking about/describing their feminism#like how the rb on this post mentioned that this mvmnt doesn't have a leader#its autonomous (which u prob wouldn't see in a lot of western feminist movements)#also ALL OF EAST ASIA is becoming pro-natalist bc their birth rates are declining#japan and china specifically#nora fisher onar is a scholar who wrote a book abt the declining birth rate in china and the womens response to it#called leftover women#so the 4b mvmt is specific to korea but i can promise u its not just korea similar shit is happenined in china and japan#and its def misogyny and self-interest driving the gov to insist women stay at home (the same is going for japan and china rn)#and its also capitalism#gov wants more babies so there r more workers#but also to combat population decline#more youth means east asia has elder care for when its current work force gets old#im just upset that ppl w no context for asia or global issues are getting their hands on this post and going “go man haters go!!” bc there#is So Much more going on#the 4b mvmt is just the tip of the iceberg#the governments of east asia pushing are pro natalist policies most likely not ACTUALLY bc they think women belong at home#the treatment of women in east asias workforce has fluctuated thats a whole nother beast. like in china during ww2 they WANTED women workin#but they're pushing pro natalism now bc they want babies for their population#also plz take any news abt east asia w a grain of salt if ur a (monolingual) western english speaker bc#things inevitably get mistranslated thru language#i just have so many thoughts and my first one is good god western femcels/terfs/etc. do NOT get your hands on this post#one of the tags on a rb of this post went “go korean lesbians go” like#maybe don't trivialize the struggles of these women also lgbt issues in east asia are a totally separate issue#i also just feel like westerners attached themselves to what they think the 4b mvmt is and ran with it#tldr is like this prev reblog said the 4b mvnt isn't a “we hate men#girlpower” movement its a very specific protest against the gov#ALSO the bit abt how the only sure way to avoid pregnancy was by avoiding men
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babeyun · 1 month ago
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on the rebound ☆ p.sh [m]
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synopsis: sunghoon doesn't mind babysitting for the neighborhood mothers - but he certainly doesn't mind when a certain eldest daughter is around to be taken care of, too. genre: acquaintances to ???. older!reader moment (because why not, but also it doesn't really come up.) angst, fluff, smut. this porn has plot, damnit! pairing: babysitter!park sunghoon x fem!older!reader ; mentions of heeseung x reader. word count: 6k rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, alcohol (that they don't even drink LOL) mentions of toxic relationships, rebounds, reader is only older by a year. smut warnings: oral (f. rec),MUNCH!HOON!! PUSSY EATING ENTHUSIAST HOON!!! nipple play, subtle body worship (f. rec), unprotected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy!), sub!hoon x sub!reader (just trust me), creampie, subtle breeding kink, wayyy too much whining and whimpering, pet names (pretty girl, baby, etc.) listen to: lie to girls - sabrina carpenter ; number one girl - rosé ; wait - dino ; btbt - b.i, soulja boy, devita ; die for you - the weeknd. author's note: this is for all my eldest daughters out there (not me but y'all stay safe!) i whipped this up while i was procrastinating studying for finals...so apologies if it's shitty (because it is shitty.) also, i dog on heeseung SOOO bad but i promise i love him i just needed someone. this being said, happiest birthday hoonie, i love u!
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You and Sunghoon weren't strangers, you wouldn't go that far.
However, there was a good reason that you weren't friends – you were never home when he was at your parents' house. You'd moved out with your boyfriend a month or so into him babysitting your menace of a sister. She was well-behaved for him, but had been an absolute tornado of a child when your mother would ask you to babysit. You were actually the one who found Sunghoon through an ad on social media, and he'd been yet another thing to add to your parents' monthly budget.
Then again, no one told them to have another kid so late in their lives. Or yours, for that matter. You were eighteen when Mina was born, and it'd been a pretty rocky five years since then. You went off to college and didn't really get to see her grow up, and she soon learned you were someone she couldn't depend on emotionally because you were rarely able to stick around outside of holidays. It pained you, but you knew you'd eventually get the time to bond with her.
And that time came very quickly after meeting Sunghoon – because your boyfriend dumped you after six months, insisting he was too busy with school to maintain a relationship. Heeseung was a graduate student, and he tutored on the side for extra cash. Your parents funded your lifestyle, so you'd never worried about anything – until Heeseung sat you down and said that the relationship was stressing him out. 
Needless to say, a week after the breakup – you moved back in with your parents and left him to figure out the rent himself. It was a calculated move, but your parents agreed that you didn't need that kind of energy in your life. It didn't stop you from remembering all the other times Heeseung dogged you – from taking continuous 'breaks' from your relationship in the three years you were together, to falling prey to temptation (read: another woman grinding on him at a bar while you were two feet away.)
And you talked about him to every person you possibly could – including now, your little sister's babysitter as he washed dishes in your parents' kitchen. The conversation hadn't started out this way, he'd actually been telling you how much Mina talked about you while you were gone.
"Anyway, that kid loves you, man." He nodded as he slid a plate onto the drying rack, and you laughed softly. "Mina was born when I was a teenager. She just thinks I'm cool now, she'll go through the phase of hating me when she's older." You shrug.
"I wouldn't be so sure. She talks about you a lot, something about you playing a viobib?" His brow is arched, and you snort. "Violin. I played her the violin one time so she'd leave me alone. I'm surprised she talks to you so much, she has a hard time warming up to anyone. Even my boyfriend can't get her to talk to him."
His eyes narrowed slightly, "You have a boyfriend? Since when?" You shrug again. "Since before I met you. I guess I should say ex, though. Boyfriend is the title he prefers, but not the one he deserves. At least, not right now." You say pointedly, and his brows furrowed as he leans on the counter, arms crossed.
"Elaborate." "You're babysitting my kid sister, not giving me counseling."
"Consider it a perk for eldest daughters who act like they deserve shitty men." He says, a bite to his tone as you scrunch your nose. You sigh, nibbling your lip before rolling your eyes. "We're on-and-off. Sometimes I call it off, sometimes he does. He's in grad school and he tutors, and he said everything was stressing him out. He dumped me a bit ago, and I moved back in here. I'm surprised I haven't seen you around more."
"Right, so what about that arrangement is making you believe that you deserve this sort of behavior?" 
You peek up at him, his brows still furrowed as he awaits your answer. Your stomach tightens a bit as you blink. "I guess…I don't know, actually." "Okay, then ditch that loser." He shrugs, and you scoff. "He's not a loser. He's smart and sweet and we're just going through a rough patch." "If you have to justify his presence in your life or his treatment of you to your friends or anyone you talk about him to, then he's a loser. He sucks and he doesn't deserve to have access to you in any way." Sunghoon clasps his hands in front of himself, and you frown.
"He's nice enough." "Yeah, so is any other guy, babe. You're not gonna give just any dude a chance because he's 'nice enough,' are you?" He peers at you through his shaggy hair, and you feel your cheeks heat slightly in embarrassment. "The fact that you allow that behavior, seemingly quite often, will only make him make you his doormat. He'll do it over and over until he's sick of you, then he gets to dump you and make it seem like it was a mutual thing. You won't win in a situation like that." "It's not about winning." You mutter, grabbing a peach out of the fruit bowl in front of you. He leans back on the island, arms crossed in front of him. 
"Isn't it, though? There is always a prize and a player in a relationship. You," He taps the tip of your nose with his finger gently. "Are the prize, and he's the player. If he's not playing to win you, then he's playing to lose and wasting your time."
You stare into his eyes, not missing the way his brows jump as he leans slightly closer.
"Stop wasting your time on a shitty dude when you can do so much better. Especially if you're really as cool as Mina says. Kids don't lie about people they admire." His tone is slightly teasing, and you roll your eyes. "Mina has thrown eggs at me, I wouldn't be so sure she admires me." "I don't know, she said you're really nice to everyone. That you're funny, you can sing…dance…" Sunghoon lists a few things your sister said while you were asleep, and you feel your ears grow hot. "She also said you're the one who taught her how to do backflips, and that she wants to be like you when she grows up. I'd suggest getting that guy out of your life sooner rather than later so you can set a good example." "Did she mention him?" Your eyes snap up, and Sunghoon shrugs. "Once or twice. She said he makes you cry more often than not." You snort, shaking your head as you look down. "What does she know? She's five."
"Kids see things from an unbiased perspective, they're still learning how to be functioning humans. She associates him with you being upset, so I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that you're 'on a break' right now. I've been listening to you for five minutes and I already don't like this guy. If he cared, he'd be here. He doesn't care." "You're only saying that because it's what I need to hear." You roll your eyes as you avoid the rest of his spiel, and Sunghoon shakes his head, stealing a grape from the ones he washed for you earlier. "I'm saying that because it's the truth, and when I love, I make sure the person I love knows." "You don't even know him." You scowl, and he smirks. "Don't have to, babe. It's all over your face. You look defeated as hell when you talk about him." "Not your babe, Sunghoon." You shake your head, and he shrugs. "Could be, if you ditched that guy. I don't even know your favorite color but I can almost guarantee I'd be a better boyfriend than him."
"My favorite color is green." You mutter, and he leans closer to your face. "Anything else you wanna tell me about this guy?" "Why? You'll just be mean about it." You mumble, licking your lips when you feel his fingers tilt your chin up. He coos, "You're cute when you're defensive over a scumbag." "Stop that." You shove his hand away, and he smiles. "You need a rebound or something. All you've been able to talk about since you moved back is this guy. He sucks, babe." "Ugh, I know! Alright, I know he sucks, you don't have to rub it in." You frown, biting into the peach in your hand. "D'you know he'd never tell me I was pretty? I mean, I know I am, he didn't have to. But it would've been nice to hear every once in a damn while." You chew angrily, before hearing him laugh softly. "You have enough confidence for a man to feel like he doesn't need to tell you that. You carry yourself so well, it's honestly very sexy." You look up at him, meeting his eyes. They're calm and sincere, like he didn't just call you sexy in the middle of your kitchen while you're wearing a random t-shirt and sweatpants. "Me?" "Yeah, you. It's just us in here, Y/N." He snorts, "You seriously need to get over this guy. I don't like hearing you talk about this like you deserved it." "What do you know? You hardly know me." You know your voice sounds bitter, but it only spurs him on. "Don't need to know you super well to know you just need to feel appreciated." "Right, appreciated." You roll your eyes, tossing the half eaten peach in the trash. "Like I'm gonna find that in a rebound." "You can." He nods, making you snort. "Like who? You?" "Sure." He shrugs, and you nearly choke on your own spit. "What? Sunghoon, be serious." "I am being serious. If that's what it takes, I'm all for it." He shrugs again, like this is the most nonchalant thing ever, like he's not offering to fuck the bitterness out of you so you'll act normal again. You gawk at him, "Sunghoon, I cannot just use you like that. We hardly know each other, are you insane?" "Is it insane if I say I want you to?" He leans forward on the counter, a soft blush on his cheeks. You gape at him, his finger coming to close your mouth. "Does it matter how well we know each other? I'm sure it'll be a one time thing, and since we don't see each other often, I don't see the harm." "You want me to use you to get over my ex-boyfriend? You want to be my rebound?" You're shocked at his suggestion, he can tell as he shrugs. "You can use me anytime you want. Think about it." He winks, pushing off the island.
You feel your cheeks grow hot as he leaves the kitchen, letting you sit with your thoughts.
Sunghoon lived a mile away, in an apartment complex you helped him pick out once your parents hired him. Your mother had insisted he live in the house, but your father refuted by saying Sunghoon was a grown man, he needed his own space. You'd taken him to fill out the paperwork, and it was one of the last interactions you'd had with Sunghoon before moving out.
You sigh shakily, running your hands through your hair.
It wasn't the worst idea. You knew that Sunghoon wouldn't have offered it if he wasn't attracted to you, at least. You knew what it was like to feel desired, but something about the way Sunghoon looked at you made you feel giddy.
Maybe it was the promise of feeling something new, or the idea that you shouldn't do it – because he works for your parents. Getting involved with you could cost him his job, if anyone found out. 
You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you sigh as you reach to grab it.
Message From: Park Sunghoon (Babysitter) [8:32pm] you know where i live if you're down. [8:32pm] just let me know, gorgeous.
Fuck.
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Bad idea, bad idea, bad fucking idea.
It hadn't even been a day since you and Sunghoon had the conversation in your parents' kitchen. Or rather, the awkward moment in your parents' kitchen. 
It'd been three hours. It was nearing midnight as you stood in front of the elevator, the cold December air biting at your exposed legs. You'd gone to a late dinner with your friend Aeri, and you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't admit that her encouragement is what got you into this predicament.
The elevator dings, revealing a young girl and her dog attempting to step out. You give her a soft smile, earning a nod and a have a good night as you step in. You press the button to the third floor, bouncing on your heels as the elevator starts moving. This could be the worst fuck of your life and you won't even know until after, or even during. What if it's the best fuck of your life and then you're just forced to be around him as his employer rather than a potential fuck buddy or even worse, a girlfriend? "Get it together, Y/N." You mutter to yourself, hearing the elevator ding as you reach the third floor. You step out, turning to the right and walking past three doors, before standing in front of his apartment. His doormat is that of a frat boy's – Please Don't Do Coke In Our Bathroom.
You snort, before knocking on the door softly. You hear rustling, and the lowering of a TV before the pitter-patter of dog feet. You hear him sigh as he unlocks the door, his face appearing before you as he opens it. He looks surprised.
"Y/N, what a pleasure." He speaks smoothly, and you roll your eyes. "It's cold, invite me in." You cross your arms across your chest, making him smile as he steps to the side. You walk in, shivering as you carefully step out of your heels. You squat to pet his dog, but she disappears behind his legs. You pout at him, and he just snorts. "She's shy."
"It's fucking freezing outside, Hoon." Your teeth chatter as he closes the door, taking your scarf as you hand it to him. "Well, you're barely dressed. I assume it would be cold when you're half naked." "Did you want me to wear layers and make this take ten times as long? Be serious." You huff, sliding your coat off. Granted, you'd put this dress on with the idea of going to a bar after dinner and posting thirst traps on your story for Heeseung to see and yearn for…
Which is shitty of you to appear in Sunghoon's apartment after thinking that way.
"I don't think you wore this for me, Y/N. You were at dinner with Aeri." He rolls his eyes, and you forget he also has your Instagram. "Man, just take the win. Do you wanna fuck me or not?"
He shrugs, "Do you want me to?" "You wouldn't have offered and I wouldn't have shown up if the answer to either of those questions was no." You say pointedly, and he clicks his tongue. "I guess you're right." "I usually am." You roll your eyes, making him laugh. "Here, have a seat." "What, are you gonna wine and dine me?" You tease, and he smirks, disappearing into his kitchen. "Could say that." You take a seat on his couch, looking around the apartment. He's decorated in a very Sunghoon  way – lots of black decorations and shelving on the exposed brick, an array of books on a shelf to the left of his desk and a record player. You look at his coffee table, the fashion magazines and editorials stacked high.
"You always snoop through people's things?" His voice rings behind you as he holds two glasses and a bottle of wine you're sure you've seen only in your father's reserve. You huff, "Well you leave me here to entertain myself, I'm bound to look around." "Valid. Come on." He tilts his head for you to follow him, your cheeks aflame as you do just that. He leads you down to his bedroom, a large bed with a black duvet in the middle of the room. More books, a few incense candles, a few figurines in the corner of his room. "I like what you've done with the place." "Thanks, it only took fucking forever to figure out what I wanted to do. I think the exposed brick makes for a bigger headache than those home bloggers make it out to be." 
It makes you feel at ease, how easy conversation can be with Sunghoon. He doesn't make anything feel inorganic, but he also doesn't talk more than necessary in order to get his point across.
"How long were you with that guy, anyway? Here, put this on." He holds out a pair of sweatpants, which you take with a quizzical look. "Three years. Uh, Hoon, the point is to be naked here, not put on more clothes." "Is that how it was with him? You'd just show up and strip?" He rolls his eyes, digging a shirt out of his dresser for you. You feel your cheeks warm as he hands it to you, before giving you a glance. "Was it?" "...Kind of." You look at your feet, and he sighs. "Yeah, well…I don't play that. Do you need help getting your dress off?" "Oh, yeah. Just the zipper." You turn, pulling your hair to the front. You feel his fingers graze your back, before he tugs the zipper down in one go. He snaps your bra strap playfully, "We can lose this, though." "Yah!" You swat his hand away, making him laugh as he turns away. "Do you want to watch something or just talk?" "We can watch something, whatever is fine. Just nothing scary, my room is spooky at night." You shudder as you undo your bra, folding it in your hand before tugging the shirt over your head. "Oh, do you intend on driving home after?" "Did you want me to stay?" Your words sound a bit bitter, and that only makes Sunghoon frown as he scours the selection on HBO from his bed. "Dude, the more things you say, the more scummy I realize this guy was to you. Next thing you know you'll tell me he never went down on you." You freeze, and Sunghoon gapes at you as you turn around, pulling the shirt down your torso. "Y/N, you've got to be kidding me." "No, he did a few times, I swear!" You try to defend him, but Sunghoon only scoffs out a laugh. "That's fucking insane. Like, actually insane." "Hoon, you're embarrassing me." You whine, and he only blinks. "Why would you be embarrassed that he didn't wanna eat you out? That in itself is embarrassing for him. Real men eat pussy, and they eat it with gusto." "Shut up." You cover your face with your hands as you hear him sigh. "I'm just saying. Now, come on. Either put the pants on or lie the hell down." You huff, shoving the pair of sweats on before joining him on his bed. This is normal, friends fuck all the time.
Except you and Sunghoon are not friends.
You must've spaced out, because the feeling of Sunghoon squeezing your knee makes you jolt. "What are you thinking about?" "Nothing." You lie, shaking your head. He hums, turning his attention to the random movie on the television. "You're a bad liar, you know?" "Am not." Scoffing, you turn to face him. Your knees hit his outer thigh as you turn, and he gives you a lazy smile. "You are. You were staring off into space and chewing on your cheek for like, five minutes. What's up?" You scrunch your nose, looking down at your hands as he tilts his head. "You can tell me, you know. I don't judge." "Don't you, though? I mean, I'm here after you absolutely dogged on my ex earlier." You snort, and he smiles. "I'm judging your ex, not you. Well, not right now at least. I will always dislike the fact that you think you deserved that treatment, let alone from a guy who probably couldn't even make you cum." Your eyes snap to his, shock across your face as he pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Babe, come on." "He was nice!" You whine, and Sunghoon just laughs in disbelief. "Don't laugh! It's not funny!" Your lip is jutted out in a pout, before Sunghoon maneuvers you onto his lap. He makes you move up closer, your ass resting high on his thighs. "He really didn't make you finish?" You groan, adjusting yourself to sit comfortably. "I mean, he did a few times. Just not as often as I would've liked. I don't want to talk about him." You rub your temples, Sunghoon's hands finding home on your hips. "Okay, we don't have to. Tell me what you like." "What I like?" You repeat, and he nods. "Yeah. Like…positions. Any kinks, anything I should know to make this the best experience possible."
"...Does it matter?" Your voice is meek, and he rolls his eyes. "Yes, it matters. I want you to feel good. If you don't know, I can figure it out. You just have to trust me." You feel your chest warm at his words, and you glance at his face as he speaks again. "We can go as slow as you want, this is about you." "But what about you?" You toy with the hem of your shirt, and he smiles. "I'll enjoy myself either way, don't worry about me." His hands squeeze your hips gently as he looks down at you. "You okay?" "I'm nervous." You mumble, looking away as he coos. "Baby, you don't need to be nervous. It's just me." His hand comes to hold your jaw gently, making you face him. He squeezes your cheeks gently, making your lips pucker.
"You're so pretty." He smiles as he compliments you, making you roll your eyes in embarrassment. "Stop." "Why? You are. Pretty little thing." He's teasing you, your hands now holding onto his wrist as he inches closer. "Should I kiss you?" "Yes." Your reply is more of a breath, and he chuckles. "Seriously, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, promise. Unless you're into that."
"Kiss me already." You groan, making him roll his eyes before closing the gap between you. His lips are soft and taste like cherry Chapstick. His hand lets go of your face, moving slightly down to the base of your neck. Your own hands move to fist his shirt as his teeth nip at your lower lip, a whimper from your throat making him move you impossibly higher on his lap. His other hand moves to the nape of your neck, tangling in your hair to hold you steady as his tongue slips into your mouth. 
"You'll stay the night, right?" He pulls away from your lips, eyes searching your face for any sign of hesitation. You nod as best as you can with his hand in your hair, "Yeah. If you want me to." "I want you to." He whispers, before letting go of your hair. "Can we take this off?" He tugs at the shirt he gave you, and you move to tug it over your head. He lets you, watching the way your hair cascades down your back. His hands find home on your waist, his thumbs barely grazing the underside of your breasts as you look back at him, flinging the shirt somewhere behind you.
He doesn't say anything, only meeting your lips in a kiss. It's softer this time, but your tongue finds its way into his mouth gently. He sucks on it, hearing a low moan from you as your hips cant against his. "Sorry." 
"No, don't be." He shakes his head, pressing chaste kisses to your lips. "Use me however you want, baby. That's what I'm here for." 
"But–" "This is about you. Just let go." He meets your lips once more, kissing you deeply as his hands grip your hips tightly. He moves you against his hardening cock slowly, setting a gentle pace for you. You follow his lead, rutting against him as his hands move upward before you grab them and place them on your chest. He groans lowly into your mouth, thumbs grazing over your pebbled nipples as he drags his lips down your jaw, your soft whimpers filling the air as his teeth nip at your neck.
"S'fucking gorgeous." He murmurs against your skin, tracing his tongue down the gentle slope of your neck, a shudder running down your spine as he kisses down your chest. "Can I?" His doe eyes peer up at you though shaggy bangs, and you nod quickly. Your fingers card through his hair as his tongue flattens against your nipple as you groan.
"Feel good?" He mumbles against your skin. You only breathe out shakily as you nod, your lip bitten between your teeth as he nips and sucks his way across your chest, your nipples glistening with his spit. He scrapes his teeth against one gently, earning a guttural groan from your lips as he kisses up your chest. "Wanna taste you, angel. Can I?" Your pupils are blown as you look down at him, your fingers pushing his hair back as his hands dip below the sweatpants you're wearing. "Can I?" "Okay." Your voice is slightly raspy with lust, and he smiles softly before pressing a kiss to your lips. "We can stop anytime, just say the word." 
You nod, moving off his lap. He lays you back on his pillows, kissing your lips softly before trailing down your body. "So beautiful, baby. Can't get enough of you." He kisses down your stomach, before his teeth catch on the waistband of the sweatpants you're wearing. He bites down carefully, pulling them down your legs as you cover your face with a whine. "Something wrong?" He calls, pulling them off your ankles and flinging them to the ground.
"No." You respond weakly, and he smirks as his fingers land on your thighs, pulling you closer to him. "You're lying." "You're just hot, okay?" You peek at him through your fingers, seeing him shake his head as he snaps the waistband of your underwear against your skin. You jolt as he smiles, before sinking to his stomach and spreading your legs. You hear a soft whisper of shit from his lips. "Sorry? Is something wrong?"
You try to move away, only for Sunghoon to hold your hips down. "You're fucking soaked, doll. Holy shit." 
He doesn't give you a chance to respond, opting to press his face against the sticky fabric of your ruined underwear and inhale deeply, a whine from his throat hitting your ears as he noses at the fabric. "You're so fucking hot."
You feel his tongue before you reply, the underwear a useless attempt at a barrier as he finds your clit easily. Your thighs tense around his head, his preening at the taste of you just through the fabric is enough to make him cum in his pants. "Hoon…" You mewl, your fingers tugging at his hair to get his attention. He only hums in response.
"Take them off." Your whine is loud, and he hastily pulls your underwear down your plush thighs, throwing it over his shoulder as he dives back in, tongue lapping at your wet cunt like a man starved. You're a moaning mess as his pouty lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently as he pushes your thighs open further, working two fingers inside you carefully. He groans at the way you clench around them so tightly, your walls so warm and wet as he curls them into you.
"Taste so sweet, pretty. Would never give this up, ever." He murmurs against your clit, pressing wet kisses to it. You can't even respond, your eyes screwed shut as you cant your hips against his mouth harshly. "That's it, baby. Come on, give it to me." He's whining against your pussy, latching his lips to your clit as your thighs begin to tremble.
"H-Hold my hand." You mumble, and Sunghoon immediately laces his free hand with yours. "Need you to cum on my tongue, beautiful." His fingers find that spongy spot, making your soft belly cave in as your thighs close around his head. A choked moan leaves your lips as you coat his tongue and lips in your orgasm, your body trembling beneath him as you try to push his head away from you. "S'too much, Hoonie-" "One more, baby. You can give me one more." He bullies his shoulders through your thighs, moving to hover over you. He presses his wet lips to yours, your tongue attempting to collect any taste of you off of him. He lets you deepen the kiss, his hand snaking between your legs to rub teasing circles into your clit. Your mouth falls slack, your nails digging into his bicep. "One more, baby. Wanna feel you around me." "O-Okay." 
He reaches over you to his nightstand, pulling the drawer open to find an empty box of condoms. "Fuck, wait. I think–" "Want it raw." You mumble, eyes closed as your hands run under his shirt, fingers tracing circles into his softly chiseled abdomen. His eyes are wide, his hand coming to your face, stroking it gently. "Look at me. Are you sure?"
"Positive. Want it, Hoonie. Wanna feel full." You barely open your eyes as you nod, turning your head slightly to kiss his palm. He shivers slightly, closing his eyes to compose himself as he nods. "O-Okay. Alright." He straightens, pulling his shirt over his head and quickly pushing his sweats down. You don't bother to look down, knowing in your heart the stretch will be worth a thousand viewings. He pulls you to the edge of the bed by your thighs, carefully tucking a pillow under your hips as he rests your leg on his chest. He kisses your ankle softly, before running the leaking tip of his cock through your wet folds. He nearly buckles, the warmth almost debilitating as he eased himself into you. Your mewl is so soft he almost misses it, his eyes darting to your face as he slowly sheaths himself inside you, biting his lip so hard he's sure he'll draw blood. Your lips are so swollen from the kissing and biting that he can't help but lean over and kiss you gently, burying himself to the hilt inside you. Your soft whisper of fuck is against his lips. "Move, Hoon." "You gotta give me a second, baby." He whines into your neck, making you clench around him. "Fuck, fuck don't do that." His hips jerk involuntarily, earning a choked moan from you as your nails dig into his shoulder. He straightens himself, figuring if he's going to cum fast, he'd better make it worth your while. He pulls out almost entirely, pushing your thighs to your chest as he bullies his cock back into you. Your moans are so loud he's lost in them, your chants of yes, yes, right there so overwhelming for him as he tries his hardest to stave off his own orgasm.
"Feel so fucking good, baby. Shit." He whimpers into the air, his grip on your thighs bruising as you mewl beneath him, your hands finding his wrists. "Kiss me, Hoonie. Wan' a kiss.." He leans forward, the kiss a mess of teeth and tongue as he bottoms out inside you repeatedly. His tip is bullying your sweet spot relentlessly, making you whine into his mouth. "Want you to cum in me." You whisper, and he almost stops as the words hit his ears but your nails drag down his back. "Want you to fill me up, Hoonie. Please."
"Anything you want, fuck. I'll give you anything, baby." His voice is choked as he trails his lips down your neck, feeling your cunt flutter around him in that oh-so-familiar way. "Gonna cum for me? Gonna cream all over this dick?" You only whimper in response, your teeth sinking softly into his shoulder. He feels himself spill inside you at the sensation, a deep groan from his soul as you cum right after. He doesn't stop working the two of you through it, his hips bordering the two of you into overstimulation as you claw at him.
He feels his skin sticky as he rests his forehead on your shoulder, your fingers now flat against the muscle of his back as you breathe in deeply. You shift slightly beneath him, before patting his shoulder. "I don't…I can't get up, I don't think. I can't feel my legs." You rasp, and he chuckles into your skin.
"Yeah, that's usually what's supposed to happen." He replies smugly, earning a sharp smack from your hand in the middle of his back. "Ouch! What the hell!" "I told you to stop making fun of me!" You huff, and he moves to look at you. "I'm not! Did I not just give you two mind blowing orgasms?"
"I wouldn't say mindblowing–" He rolls his eyes as he covers your mouth. "I made you cum, which was the goal. Was it not?" "No, the goal was to get over my ex." You say, muffled by the palm of his hand. He ponders a bit, before looking down at you intently. "Well, are you?" You feel your cheeks flush as you look away. "Maybe. Might need to go again, don't know. Not fully convinced." "Not fully convinced, she says." He removes his hand from your mouth as he teases you gently, and you roll your eyes. "Okay, fine. You're good, you got me." You admit tiredly, and he smiles.
"For how long?" "What?" You look up at him, and he shrugs. "How long do I have you?" You let your eyes scan his face as he looks down at you with curiosity in his eyes. You scoff, an amused tone to your voice. "You like me." "Obviously." He rolls his eyes, "Otherwise I wouldn't have offered." "You sly little minx. Luring me in here with the premise of getting me over my ex, knowing I'm on the rebound." You poke his chest, and he scoffs. "Clearly, you like me too. Or else you could've absolutely dodged my offer." "Or maybe I think you're hot and wouldn't mind seeing you outside of the cute little necklaces my sister makes you wear." You tease, and he shrugs. "I'll take what I can get. Either way, do you feel better? Less thoughts about that idiot, more good feelings?" You nod, sitting up on your elbows. "Let me take you to dinner, Hoon." He blinks at you, before glancing at the clock on his nightstand. "It's two in the morning, babe." "Not right now. Later. After you're done babysitting." You say, and he raises his brows. "Are you sure?" "I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to." Your tone is pointed, and he scoffs. "You want me so fucking bad." "In your dreams. Get off me, I'm all sticky."
He does just that, and takes the most gentle care of you. He lets you lean against him in the shower, he shampoos your hair and steals kisses when you least expect it. He changes his sheets while you try to sit comfortably in his desk chair, complaining of sore hips and thighs as he smirks to himself. "So much for a rebound, huh?" He murmurs into your hair as you snuggle into his side, making you snort. "Go to sleep, Sunghoon. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, babe."
"Not your babe, Hoon."
"Not yet."
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BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
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paladincecil · 11 months ago
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Just seen that yet another of the seemingly endless number of square enix mobile gacha games is closing down. This time it's opera omnia. My friend put literal thousands of hours into it over the years and in a few days that's all gone -_-
Once again reminding me I should never bother trying those games out xD
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drdemonprince · 4 months ago
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any advice for coping with being on the receiving end of a public callout ?
Oh yes:
Do not acknowledge the callout publicly. It will only further its spread, lend it legitimacy, cause you to be interpreted as guilty, and convey to anyone who bears you ill will that you are rattled and feeling socially threatened.
Do not act out of urgency. One of the ways that cancelled people get themselves in far worse trouble is by spiraling due to anxiety and rushing to issue a statement about what has happened, or to attempt to socially manage public impressions about what has happened. Do not do this. Anything that you say will be picked apart and used against you. The situation is truly not as urgent as it might feel. A lot of times, doing nothing and being quiet is the best way to proceed, and the dust will settle better if you do.
Do not issue a public apology. If you truly feel that you have wronged someone, that conflict should be worked out in private with the people you have directly affected. You do not owe the anonymous public audience a damn thing. Do not apologize for something you don't honestly believe that you have done wrong. Take time and really think about what happened, and seek the counsel of people whom you trust in PRIVATE.
Do not attempt to disprove the callout unless you have crystal clear, smoking gun evidence that the person who accused you is actually victimizing you. And even then, probably don't do it. I have only seen a disproof of a callout work ONCE, and that was when Juniper Abernathy revealed the person cancelling her had been abusing her. Even if the facts are on your side, acknowledging the accusations will only make more people aware of them, give your detractors ground to criticize your every word, and will muddy the waters and make people find the situation confusing and troubling rather than clear.
GET THE FUCK OFFLINE. Delete your social media apps for the time being. Turn off notifications. Turn off DMs requests. Change your settings so that you only ever hear from people you already follow (I do this, on the advice of Philosophy Tube). Get away from the computer.
Connect with IRL friends. When you're wrapped up in a cancellation, the negative opinions of a handful of foaming at the mouth freaks loom way larger than they actually are. And social media dramatically skews our sense of social priorities such that the approval rating of complete strangers starts to seem more important than people we actually know, and trust, and who actually know us. Go get a meal with a buddy. Watch a dumb movie. Talk to your grandma about her plans for her garden. Surround yourself with real people you care about and focus on their life and problems, to help put things in perspective.
Find distracting, active, rewarding activities that bring you out of the digital space and into physical reality. Not everyone is talking about you, not everybody hates you, most people have no fucking clue what has been said about you, and most people do not give a fuck about you (that's good). There are so many areas of life that are completely fucking untouched by what a bunch of social media power users have to say online. Go volunteer to clean up a park, run some errands, take an exercise class, foster a dog, regrout your bathroom, knit a hat. Even if the worst case scenario happens and a cancellation sticks, it's really only among a certain very vocal group of miserable fucking people. There is a whole world around you that will not ever care, and you will have a life outside of this.
Good luck!!
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obsessedwhyyes · 1 month ago
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The Fool
Summary: As you lie, nestled into Astarion’s chest, he considers his feelings - his damned, complicated feelings.
Alternatively, Astarion experiences all 5 stages of grief in 10 minutes.
Rating: T Word Count: 816 Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Content: First person Astarion POV, fluff and angst, rather a lot of angst actually, feelings denial, Astarion needs a hug, cuddling, Astarion's simple plan beginning to fall apart.
Want to hear this fic read aloud with absolutely pristine acting by the incredibly talented CurlyChops on AO3? Have a listen here!
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A/N: You know when you’re lying in bed, unable to sleep until you write down that idea that’s managed to worm its way into your brain at unspeakable hours of the night? Here we have a slightly angsty drabble that decided to do just that! After the reception to the Gale first person POV, I wanted to try my hand at an Astarion POV. Hopefully you enjoy!
A fool lies in this tent.
Look at you, nestled into my side, sleeping peacefully against my chest as if a vampire’s embrace is the safest place in all the realms. Utterly ridiculous. So trusting, so… pliant. All according to plan, really. I set the trap - a few choice words here, a few lingering touches there - and you walked right into it. Just like I knew you would.
Just like all the others do.
Well, not quite like all the others. You actually believe there's something redeemable in me, don't you? How deliciously naïve.
Do you even realise what you've fallen for? What I am? A monster, a liar, a parasite. Oh, my dear, the fool you are.
Though I suppose your particular brand of foolishness has its… uses. Your blind faith in my redemption is almost charming.
No. Not charming. It’s pathetic. Pathetically predictable. It can’t be charming. Because, if it is, I’m no better than the fool I mock.
You shift slightly in your sleep, and I resist the urge to recoil. This charade - this playing at romance, at desire - it shouldn’t affect me so. I’m above this. I’ve spent centuries perfecting the art of manipulation, of taking what I need. It was supposed to be easy: charm you, bed you, and secure my safety. A means to an end. But as I lay here, with your warmth pressed against me, my chest begins to tighten. Not in fear or hunger, but in something… complicated.
Anger begins to burn at the back of my throat. Good. Anger is familiar. It’s safer, easier to control.
This is your fault, you know. No, worse - it’s mine. My fault that I have been reduced to this - a creature desperate enough to sell the only scraps of autonomy I have left. You think this closeness is love, don’t you? But it’s not. It’s survival. It has always been survival.
But then again… 
You’re not like the others at all, are you? Those who took without asking, without care. Your touch is… gentle. Always so damnably gentle. You’ve never grabbed, never demanded, never treated me like a thing to be used. With you, it hasn’t all been… bad. No, that’s not right - it’s been tolerable. Almost pleasant at times, really. Your touch doesn’t make my skin crawl; your voice doesn’t grate on my nerves. I tell myself it’s because you’re useful. That’s all this is. 
That’s all it can ever be.
If I were to tell you the truth, what would you do? If I were to push you away, would you stay? If I were to let you in, would you hurt me? These questions gnaw at me, demanding answers I don't have. 
Answers I don't want.
Even now, as you sleep, your fingers rest light as feathers on my chest. It’s maddening. Infuriating. How dare you? How dare you make this difficult? This was supposed to be simple. You were supposed to be simple. 
I could kill you right now, you know. One quick movement, and all these feelings would disappear with you. Never again would you look at me like I'm something precious, something worth saving, like I’m–
“... Astarion,” you mumble drearily in your sleep.
Hells.
I should leave. I should push you away, remind you that I am not something to hold on to.
But I don’t move. 
Instead, I stay. Because the truth, the awful, unbearable truth, is that I don’t want to lose this. The selfish man I am.
A sigh escapes me. 
It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted. 
Gods, what an absolute mess you’ve made of my carefully laid plans. I find myself watching you sleep, counting your breaths, fighting the urge to brush that strand of hair from your face.
When did this happen? When did I start to care whether you lived or died beyond your usefulness to me?
I hate this. I hate that you’ve made me feel anything at all, but more than that, I hate myself for not hating it more. The way you defend me, the way you’ve never once looked at me with disgust or fear… it’s terrifying.
You’re terrifying.
Yet I can't bear to give it away.
Your fingers curl into my shirt in your sleep, and I find myself pulling you closer despite every screaming instinct to push you away. Protecting you, as if I have any right to do so. As if I deserve the way you lean into my touch, trust in my words, believe in my capacity for - dare I say it - goodness. As if I deserve any of this.
The moonlight filtering through the tent catches on your sleeping face, and something inside me breaks. Or perhaps it's finally mending. I'm not sure I know the difference anymore.
A bitter laugh escapes my lips, so soft I’m certain it won’t wake you. How poetic. How utterly absurd.
You, the fool, who dared to fall for me. 
And I, the greater fool for letting you.
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Masterlist can be found here!
No Pressure Tags: @roguishcat, @davenswitcher, @silverfangmarks, @sparrowbard, @chonkercatto, @stokzr , @trafalgarussy , @asterordinary , @bite-me-tonight , @transparentkittenheart , @bg3-fanfic-reblogs
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osachiyo · 11 months ago
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EAT IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT ! ✘ 𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢, 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚, 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐨 & 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — n/sfw content, headcanons + rating, female reader, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, pussy slapping, face-sitting, praise, overstimulation, etc
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — i wrote this while being sick, so don't attack me if this has a lot of spelling mistakes and errors.. and i just wanted to write some silly little headcanons so my apologies if this isn't good lol happy reading as always and i hope you enjoy :3 (yes i did remove fedya from this sorry) NOT PROOFREAD
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 — bsd men and how they eat the 😼
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𝓓𝓪𝔃𝓪𝓲
this man is a MUNCHERRRR. will gladly eat you out any day of the week, any time of the day. he does not care if you're at work — will not hesitate drag you in a storage room of the agency and eat you out there. one time ranpo walked in on dazai giving you the most toe-curling head, and used that as blackmail on you two, demanding he'll keep quiet if you bought him candy for the rest of the week. safe to say that you put a ban on sex at work for a month (spoiler alert: you didn't last).
sit. on. his. face. make a mess on it — drench his face in your juices and he'll thank you. hell, even better if you ride it — he'll cum untouched so fast.
he's skilled in the art of eating pussy — knows all of your weak spots like the back of his hand. don't ask him how many times he's done this — he'll just flash you an innocent looking smile, never actually answering your question.
knows how to make you scream and takes advantage of that — urging you to cum over and over on his silver tongue, saying "just gimme one more, darling," only for it to turn into another, and another until you lose count.
he takes his time when giving you head — tongue tracing your hole all the way up to your clit, savouring the taste of your arousal before he devours you.
KEEPS EYE CONTACT !! works his mouth on your cunt while his big, warm, brown eyes filled with mirth stares at you the entire time, smirking at the beautiful expressions you make — loving how flustered you get from his gaze alone.
likes to use his fingers while eating you out — long digits probing at the rough patch of your g-spot while he sucks on your clit — a deadly combo that has you creaming in his mouth in seconds.
overall a 10/10, knows how to use his tongue and isn't afraid of using it.
𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪
messy eater !! is not afraid of getting filthy, if he's gonna go down on you, might as well do it properly.
he's really into 69 ! not because he gets pleasured as well (though he's definitely not gonna complain about it), it's more of a physiological thing for him. it gets him so impossibly hard when you slobber and struggle to take his cock down your throat just because of the sheer pleasure he's giving you. it's adorable to see, really. also gives him an excuse to shove his cock down your throat himself, groaning something about "him doing all the work," but he wouldn't have it any other way.
as much as he loves pinning you to the bed, holding your hips down while shoving his face between your legs — he'd much rather eat it from the back. what can he say? he loves your ass — spreading it apart to bury his tongue into your hole, occasionally slapping or pinching your cheeks to tease you — it's pure filth.
he knows your limits, of course, but sometimes he can't help but go a little overboard — too lost in the feeling of lapping up your sweetness, circling your clit before dipping his tongue into your hole. it's best not to interrupt him during this — unless you actually want to stop, he's gonna pin you down harder with a low growl before getting back to his meal.
he doesn't use his fingers that often while eating you out — would much rather make you release on his tongue, but wouldn't mind indulging you if you really wanted it. gloved fingers probing at your sweet spot — groaning out praises for being so good for him.
he's a talker !! growling, muttering and even moaning words of encouragement while he eats your pussy — the vibrations of his lust-filled voice making your toes curl and head lull back.
9/10, he's less about technique and more about instinct — and it works.
𝓙𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓸
he's a sadist through and through — very into edging you. likes to hear your heartbeat speed up then suddenly drop when he pulls his face away from your cunt, laughing at your misery like it's the funniest thing in the world. don't get him wrong though — he eventually does let you cum, eventually.
when he's not edging you, he's overstimulating you. sometimes he does it right after edging you, too — didn't you want to cum? he's giving you what you wanted this whole time, you should thank him for it, really.
not afraid of using toys on you during he goes down on you — he loves hearing your desperate whines and and attempts of forcing him away because "it's too much," what nonsense — he thinks, jouno knows your limits, he knows you can take it. now be a good girl for him and let him enjoy his meal.
100% a pussy slapper — he likes hearing you squeal his name, while your neighbors definitely hate you both for that. he's so mean about it too, spreading your pussy lips apart to land a harsh but swift smack on your clit — it has you tearing up and crying out his name so cutely, he can't help but do it again, again and again.
jouno knows exactly which spots make you writhe in pleasure, and he takes advantage of that — relentlessly pounding his fingers into your g-spot while suckling on your clit, it has you seeing stars in mere moments.
did i mention he can make you squirt? he's incredible with his hands and mouth — combine that with the fact that he knows all of your weak spots, it's a killer combination. even if you're not a squirter, he still gives you the best orgasms you've had in your life.
8/10, he knows your limits and knows when to stop — but sometimes he can be a little too… sadistic.
𝓡𝓪𝓷𝓹𝓸
another munch right here — he'll eat you out anytime he wants, and when you want him to, of course !
ranpo gets super whiney while going down on you, his face would be flushed down to his neck — muffled moans of your name escaping his glossy lips, it's an adorable sight.
his glasses would be all fogged up, please take them off for him so they don't get dirty (he'll be whiney after if you don't)
ranpo has 0 experience, might need you to teach him some of the basics at first but he's a quick learner, quickly figures out and memorises which spots make you moan louder and your cunt wetter.
he doesn't care that much about technique, relies on feeling instead.
he doesn't like using his fingers, would rather pleasure you simply with his tongue — but he might cave in if you whined for long enough.
LOVES having you sit on his face — he needs to be drowned in your essence, and what better way to do that than have you ride his face? use him to get off, he might whine and kick his feet at first but he'll give in eventually !
sucks on your clit like it's his favorite candy — at least that's what he tells you. could spend hours and hours between your legs if you'd let him, sucking at licking at your clit before dipping his tongue in your hole, he might like it even better than candy, actually.
7/10, inexperienced but his enthusiasm makes up for it — really messy too.
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note — if you don't agree with the ratings then that's fine, they can eat you out however you want them to lol.
tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorasushik1 @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @osaemu @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @squigglewigglewoo @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter-archived @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch
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astrobydalia · 3 months ago
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Numerology observations
I've genuinely learned a lot from @novy2sirius when it comes to numerology so much so that it has helped me make so much sense out of many experience in my life. Therefore I wanted to share some numerology observations with all of you.
astrobydalia
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People with 9 energy are so deceitful, they are easily seen as innocent. On the contrary people can see 9s as someone pretty suspicious because they have an air of mystery to them and are the kind of person who you think you know but actually you don't like at all. They always hide the most BIZARRE shit, I'm telling you their life is SO weird. This is how I see 9 people tbh lmao
I've never met a 11 life path person that was emotionally okay, but the weird thing is that they tend to want to lie to themselves and pretend they are okay all the time. All the ones that've met had diagnosed depression and spent big chunks of their lives in very VERY low lows like it's truly hard to watch. Also, random note but I've seen that they are secretly very resentful too and have a hard time letting go of things and moving on. Most of the 11 people I've met had Earth Moon or strong Saturn influence in their moon
Also, I met a 11 guy once who would often say "I have no doubt in my mind that I will be famous" lol (11 is rated to fame)
22 is a more chill number. I've seen more developed 22s than developed 11s. 22 people are very mature and level-headed, tend to have very balanced mindset for most things. However they tend to think they're the only ones who know best, they give good advice but suck at taking any.
So one of the things Novy said is that the date you meet someone in will be a significant energy in the relationship you have with them. Every person I've met on a 5 day are people I travel a lot with or people I've had long-distance relationships with (5 is related travel)
I don't have much experience with 2 energy but from what I've seen it is pretty mellow energy. The people with 2 energy are pretty harmless individuals even when they have other intense energies going on
I get along with 7 life path people cause I'm a 5 but something I've noticed about these people is that they really do struggle making genuine connections "from the heart" if that makes sense. They always rationalize getting in and out of a relationship giving more importance to practical/beneficial reasons rather than emotional ones. When they do try to follow their heart they fail miserably cause they confuse making decisions from their heart with total recklessness
Life path 1 people are so.... immature. And have very obvious anger issues. They have the patience and emotional regulation of a toddler, really do embody the Aries stereotype. At their worst they can be pretty intolerant towards other's pov. Yeah life path 1 is very passionate and driven and all and I do get along with them but I also tend to keep at arms length a little cause they're energy is very chaotic and destructive tbh
Let me tell you too that unhealthy life path 1 people are one of the most CRUEL and mean people I've ever seen like... it's giving blood lust (not literally but you know what I mean)
Life path 6 can indeed be caring and generous but I've met a lot of them who are actually very selfish, greedy and materialistic. It's like they see life mostly through the lens of material gain. They literally remind me of this clip fr.
I have good experience with 6 people tho. My manager for example is a 6 life path and I literally don't know what I'd do without him, he's so patient, always there when I need him and is always on my side even when I mess up. 6 people are also very good at setting healthy boundaries too
A lot of the life path 6 I've met had taurus placements or where earth doms astrologically
The number I struggle getting along with the most is 4 tbh. They are huge party poppers even when they're healthy and have more need for control than 8s imo. A lot of 4 people I know are the type to rain on your parade for no reason in the name of being "realistic" but really they're just being bitter imo. I know 4 people have a hard life but I've noticed they tend to often have this attitude of "if I couldn't be happy then you can't either"
What I've noticed with 8 people is that yes they can be controlling but it's not like they go around policing others like 4s do. 8s control in a very subtle and indirect way, it really reminds me a lot of scorpio energy/8th house placements. It's more like they keep in control in any situation by staying low-key and are the kind of people that is hard to knock down, yet they know how to get under other's skin
I'd describe 8s as more domineering. They can be pretty chill, fun and won't mess with anyone as long as they feel like they have the upper hand in situations. That's why they are stubborn af and refuse to be wrong and why they do not react well AT ALL to animosity. This also means that at their worst tend to have HUGE superiority complex and will minimize others and be condescending just to feel superior
One time I witnessed an argument between a 1 and an 8 (it was messy) and even tho the 8 person was wrong imo they made the 1 person back down eventually (which, if you know how 1s are, that's a huge thing) and from that experience I learned that you're better off disagreeing with a 1 than disagreeing with an 8
People with 3 energy have such a refreshing energy I love them!!!! The type to keep a young spirit regardless of their age but like in a good way. Their sense of hope and optimism can't be crushed, all the ones I've met were the kind of people who always knew how to bounce back from difficult situations.
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astrobydalia
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yuri-is-online · 2 years ago
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And in With the New (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia x Yuu)
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"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."
"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"
"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."
notes: they/them used for Yuu, their ex is implied to be kind of a shit person, other dorms can be found here (x) Ortho is somewhat included in Idia's part but does not have one of his own.
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Kalim- "Do you have any other things from your world?"
Kalim has expressed a desire for you to see as much of Twisted Wonderland as possible, and he stands by that, but it would really suck if the only physical connection you had to your home was something that brought up painful memories. Your past relationship isn't something that makes him jealous, just concerned since it clearly causes you distress. He can wait to get you more appropriate clothing until after he makes sure you're ok. If the sweatshirt really is the only thing you have from home, he'll be asking if there are any foods you remember or activities you liked to do with the people you actually cared about that the two of you can recreate in Twisted Wonderland. That way you won't have to feel the need to hold onto something painful and he gets to make you happy.
Jamil- "Then why didn't you get rid of it before you came here?"
On the one hand he does feel a bit second rate at the thought of you holding onto something form an ex, but his primary concern is the implication that your financial straights have always been this... dire. He definitely wants to know about your previous relationship so he can judge them for how much better he is, but once he notices that the memories are a bit on the traumatic side he stops pushing and feels just the slightest bit guilty. But really, if it's something that hurts you to hold onto then why do it? You aren't him, you don't need to do that, people love you and want to take care of you, him included. He's not going to just give you his hoodie, he would literally die of embarrassment, but he does get you a sweatshirt. If for no other reason than to keep him from staring holes into your back now that he knows where the other one came from.
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Vil- "It doesn't suit you at all."
If his treatment of Epel is anything to go by, Vil is not above spending money on something he considers to be a pet project. Not that this... friendship is one of those, nor is he particularly jealous of some no name extra who was too blind to beg on their hands and knees to get back in your good graces. Not that he needs to do that you understand; as arrogant as Vil has a reputation for being, he is one of the people who has been more genuine when expressing concern and gratitude for you. His comment isn't meant to be a slight, clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself is failing to do its job as fashion, and as a world class super model that is unacceptable. In other words get in the car looser we're going shopping.
Rook- "Ah, I thought it was something like that."
Is it bad if he says he meant he hoped it was something like that? Not that he was rooting for your ex to be a bad person, he would never wish a subpar lover on you. But when he saw the tattered edges of your sweatshirt and how it clashed with the things you bought for yourself, he hoped that maybe someone in your world hadn't wanted your hands to be cold. If that's not the case, then if you are ok with letting it go as a lover of romance who is he to deny you your freedom? Granted tossing roses onto a fire while you burn an ugly sweatshirt is both very extra and very Rook but hey. He's having fun and you've got a new jacket.
Epel- "Afford shamford I could'a just made ya one!"
Offering their sweetheart their hoodie is something manly tall guys get to do and Epel has really really REALLY. Been looking forward to getting to that point in his relationship with you. He wants to feel like a real man, like your real man to be specific. The thought of some other piece of shit getting to do that first and treating you like a used dish rag pisses him off. Best believe he is huffing and puffing his way back to Grandma Felmier's boot camp with a mission to do you one and your ex two better by knitting you a pullover to go with your uniform. Everything that comes from Harveston is a top quality product prefect, better than whatever you left behind he guarantees it.
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Idia- "So this is that kind of route huh..."
Of course you had a partner back in your world, if he can see your good points then a normie absolutely could. That doesn't make you less appealing, it just makes him feel all that more convinced he doesn't have a chance. He's halfway through whipping out his tablet to excuse himself when Ortho asks what you meant by "shitty memories" and they both get blindsided by just how much vitriol you have for a person whose clothing you technically kept on you. And suddenly he's back in business because there are few things that unite Idia with someone faster than a good old fashion bitch fest. Sure, his insults are weirdly possessive of you, but if he had any doubts about your feelings for this person he doesn't now! He's never heard you talk about anyone like this before and he finds it so attractive he almost forgets to short circuit when Ortho convinces you to try on his hoodie. Almost.
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Malleus- "..."
Sometimes he feels like a broken record, constantly marveling at how little fear you have of him, but really child of man, you have no fear. Malleus has very little in the way of emotional intelligence, so he doesn't fully understand that what he is feeling is jealousy he just knows the thought of you with someone else's clothes hurts. Unfortunately for you both, in addition to not being emotionally intelligent he also isn't with the times and there is a non zero percent chance he will be bringing you a cloak and be genuinely confused when you don't immediately replace your old hide for his. (Lilia takes responsibility for that, he was making a joke honest.) Oh? The point was it's supposed to be something he wore so you can feel closer to him when he's gone? Well why didn't you say so child of man, he is more than willing to offer you a scale- what do you mean you can't wear that either?
Lilia- "Oh? Are you asking for one of mine?"
Shame has not been a word in Lilia's vocabulary since long before you showed up prefect. He always buys oversized clothing because of how cute the long sleeves look on him, but oh they would be so much cuter on you prefect, don't you want to see? Oh and while the two of you are at it, why don't you let him paint your nails and do your eye shadow. He's never had one of those slumber party things you humans do, you should make a night of this so you can both get a new experience out of this. He can have a slumber party and you can be the center of someone's world. Also what do you mean you're supposed to summon the devil at these things, he's already here.
Silver- "Would you like one of mine?"
Lilia raised a very good boy who thinks nothing of offering the shirt off his back to save someone in distress. Silver isn't a jealous person by nature, he's more concerned with making sure you are safe and taken care of than he is making sure you don't still have feelings for your ex. Above all else, Silver wants to be a safe space for you to come home to at the end of the day, like a proper knight in shining armor. Though he does have to admit, you look really nice in Diasomnia colors, they're really close to Briar Valley's so if you decide to come and visit he's assures you that you will fit right in. He's sure his father would be very happy to play host. Maybe too happy.
Sebek- "HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL."
You think he's upset at you but he's not, that's made painfully clear with the rant he starts to go on about proper courtship procedure. Offering clothing to someone is supposed to be a sign of high affection, nay eternal devotion! And it suddenly becomes clear to you that Sebek has somehow managed to confuse the concept of a stolen hoodie and a knight's favor. He seems to have managed to convince himself, in the span of two seconds, that you are wearing this not because it is one of your only pieces of clothing, but because your ex convinced you that they're the only one who could love you which IS NOT TRUE. YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAAND?
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thisapplepielife · 1 month ago
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Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.
It's the Stripes, Man
Prompt Day 7: Candy Cane | Word Count: 909 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Mild Sexual Innuendo | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Bantering Their Way Into Each Other's Hearts, Dinguses²
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"You look like a candy cane."
Steve turns his head, looking over at Eddie.
"I look like - a what?" Steve asks, even if he heard Eddie just fine the first time. He just wants to hear him say it again to his face.
"A candy cane," Eddie repeats, and Steve shouldn't have expected anything else. "Or Where's Waldo."
"Waldo, who?"
Eddie rolls his eyes, throwing up his hands.
"It's a book, Harrington. Henderson had it. You find the guy…nevermind," Eddie says, "It's the stripes, man."
Steve looks down at the chunky, red and white striped sweater that he stole from Robin's closet. It doesn't look like a candy cane, but it might be a women's sweater. That he isn't exactly sure about.
Doesn't matter.
It's warm, he looks good in it, and he likes it. That's all that counts.
Eddie's just being annoying.
"Fine, I'm a candy cane. Give me a lick," Steve banters, and turns back to the tree that he's trying to string with lights.
Eddie makes a spluttering, coughing, hacking noise that makes Steve turn back around, "You dying again, or what?"
"Nope. Nope, I'm good," Eddie says, his cheeks tinged with pink, like the coughing really took it out of him.
"Good. I don't have time to save you again today. Help me string these lights," Steve demands and Eddie does move towards the tree to help him.
They can work together in unison now. Their uneasy alliance in the Upside Down has turned into a very easy friendship topside. Steve never could have predicted it, but he truly likes having Eddie Munson around.
They got the tree decorated, right down to the candy canes that Eddie kept fidgeting with, and now Steve's standing at the sink, doing dishes, when he hears Eddie stomp into the room. Eddie's never walked quietly a day that Steve's known him, which means he can't sneak up on anyone.
Especially not Steve.
Steve's bent over, scrubbing a plate, and he's about to say, "Yes?" in a mocking tone, but instead he drops the slick dish from his wet hands, sending it skittering all around the sink, when he feels Eddie's tongue swipe across the back of his neck.
It takes him a second to process, and another to confirm that's what actually happened.
"Jesus Christ! Did you lick me?"
"You told me to!" Eddie accuses, "And then I just had to do it. You put it in my brain! This is on you, Harrington!"
Steve is absolutely certain he didn't suggest Eddie lick the back of his neck like a big weirdo.
"When on earth did I tell you to do that?" Steve asks, hands finding his hips as he looks at Eddie, annoyed.
"You said, lick me then," Eddie stresses, and Steve tries to play back the information that he has rattling around in his brain to see if he actually said that or not. He's sure it's possible, it does sound like him, even if he doesn't remember saying it.
If he did, it was nothing. Definitely not an invitation for Eddie to actually lick him.
"Are you sure I said that?" Steve asks, staring him down.
Eddie wilts, just a little, and Steve softens the bitchy out of his face. He doesn't actually care that Eddie licked him. Whatever. He's a weird dude. And they've kind of got a weirdly almost sexually charged friendship going on, even Steve can feel it. They've never acted on it, but it's there, just under the surface.
And maybe this was an impulse built off that, one that Eddie just couldn't shake.
So, fine.
He licked him.
It doesn't have to mean anything.
Steve picks back up the plate he had been washing before it rudely slipped from his grasp and bounced all around the sink.
"Well, is it out of your system now?" Steve asks and Eddie tilts his head back and laughs.
"Fuck you, Harrington," Eddie answers, picking up the hand towel to dry the dish that Steve has in his hands. 
"Now, now. Don't be sarcastic. You never know when someone will take what you say seriously," Steve banters back. 
Eddie stops, and then throws his head back, laughing.
"Well, I mean, if you wanna hold me to it," Eddie says.
Steve giggles, "You're too much."
He hands the now clean plate to Eddie, and they keep washing and drying together until the sink is totally empty.
And now, just like Eddie had, Steve has a one-track mind over a joke.
A throwaway bit of ribbing.
But, he definitely gets it now. 
Steve turns and leans against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankle, catching Eddie's eyes, then asking, "So. About the fucking. We gonna?"
Eddie's eyes go wide, rounder and bigger than they usually are, and Steve laughs. He's serious, or not. Whatever Eddie wants, he's game. 
Eddie takes a step closer, grazing the shoulder of Steve's stolen sweater with his fingertips, and Steve smiles. Eddie's so fucking weird, but in the best way possible. He's glad their paths crossed. It's been fun. Well. Spring Break wasn't fun. But the time after that sure has been. Eddie's interesting, and never predictable.
"You ever fucked a man, Harrington?" Eddie asks, those big eyes holding Steve's stare and not letting go.
Steve shakes his head, "No. First time for everything, I guess."
Eddie laughs, and presses closer, "And you say I'm the one that's too much."
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If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun! 🍬
Fun fact: Where's Waldo seems to have first came out in September of 1987. I'm not 100% sure it was released at the same time as Where's Wally? in the UK, but I didn't see anything that contradicted that. So, I'm saying this was probably Christmas of '87.
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moonstruckme · 7 months ago
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hi! What about a fic if one of the Mauraders or TASM peter with a reader who's insecure about her big boobs? Like ik everyone thinks it's ideal but honestly sometimes it really sucks when shirts don't fit right or everything looks slutty or u can't go braless or alternatively a fic about their gf overhearing someone say they r an ass man but she has a small butt?
Thank you for requesting!
cw: insecurity around breast size
tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
You’re looking in the mirror, and you want to feel good about yourself. Really, everything looks the way it should. Your hair looks better than it would on an average day, that new eyeshadow thing you tried actually turned out nicely, and your dress fits the way it’s supposed to. 
Just, the way it’s supposed to fit doesn’t really seem right to you at the moment. 
“Peter,” you call in the direction of the bathroom, “if I ask you about something, can you promise to be honest with me?” 
You hear water splash in the shower, signaling your boyfriend is finally rinsing out his hair. In classic Peter fashion, he seems like he’s going to be late to his own banquet. Oscorp is having a formal event to recognize the achievements of their scientists this year. Peter’s done even more than most, and he’s expected to give a speech before the food comes out which you’ll be lucky to make at this rate. You were supposed to get ready together, but he’d spent the majority of the time flirting with you while you did your makeup in your pajamas. 
“Duh, I’m always honest,” he calls back. The shower shuts off. “That’s why they call me your friendly, honest, neighborhood spider-man.” A pause. You wonder if he can sense the dry look you’re sending his way. “Fine, but I’m always honest with you. Shoot, sweetheart.” 
“Okay.” You give yourself one final, disappointed look-over in the mirror before heading towards the bathroom door. “I’m serious, don’t sugarcoat anything, but do you think—” 
The door swings open, and Peter’s right in front of you, beads of water still visible on his torso and a towel wrapped around his waist. 
“—this is too slutty?” you finish, quieter, right as he blurts, “Oh my god.” 
Peter blinks. His head does a tiny shake, as if trying to rid himself of a dizzy spell. “What?” he asks. 
Probably not your best phrasing. “I just mean, is it too booby,” you try again. You have the urge to tuck your arms around your middle self-consciously, but you worry that would only make the boob predicament worse. 
“Baby.” Peter’s still looking at you like you’re speaking another language. “What?” 
You look down at your highly visible cleavage, then back up at him. “You know what I mean,” you say softly. 
“Okay, speaking from a strictly straight male standpoint,” Peter says, unabashed as his eyes dip to where yours just where, “I can’t condone the idea that there is such a thing as too booby. But even if I was, like, a ninety-five-year-old conservative woman, I couldn’t—I would still think you look beautiful.” 
Your heart balloons. It’s not a compliment you got much before you met Peter. Hot, sexy, sure, but not beautiful. 
“God.” The word slips from your boyfriend’s mouth so softly it almost sounds like a prayer. His hands find your waist, skimming down the satiny material of your dress to rest on your hips. “You’re amazing. Is that the eyeshadow trick you were talking about?” 
You nod, cheeks warming. “You watched me do it.” 
“It looks different with the dress on,” he agrees. “Fuck. Not to be corny, but you’re seriously taking my breath away. I can’t breathe right now.” 
A little laugh stutters out of you, and Peter smiles. He’s looking rather breathtaking himself, fresh-faced from the shower with a piece of damp hair still clinging to his forehead. You unstick it and comb it back in with the others already fluffed up after being toweled off. He smells like his shampoo. 
“Can I kiss you,” he asks, “or will I mess up your makeup?” 
“Be careful,” you warn, smiling as you lean in. 
He is, but his hands give away his hunger, bunching in the fabric at the base of your spine to get you closer. He makes a low, needy sound in the back of his throat, and for half a second you wonder if it’s for your benefit but then you remember that he was right earlier. Peter is always honest with you. 
You laugh when you pull away, going to get a bit of tissue paper to blot away the lipstick you’ve left on him. A glance in the bathroom mirror shows that yours is, thankfully, intact. 
“Are you sure this dress will be appropriate?” you ask, less insecure now but still nervous as you wipe at Peter’s upper lip. “Regardless of how much you like it, it’s still a formal thing and I don’t want to be…indecent.” You cringe. There’s no word that sounds nice. 
Your boyfriend’s brows furrow. His hands skim up your arms, and he looks like he’s about to reply when you fold the toilet paper and stick it between his lips. “Blot,” you murmur. 
He does. “Sweetheart.” He squeezes your upper arms, a silent request for you to look up at his eyes. You find them soft and earnest. “There’s nothing inappropriate about what you’re wearing. It is a formal thing, and you’re wearing a formal dress. You look beautiful.” That word again. Your cheeks burn. Peter kisses one of them. “No one is going to have anything to say about how you look other than how beautiful you are,” he promises. 
You let the sincerity of his words seep into you, pooling like a warm drink in your belly. The inside of your lip finds its way between your teeth. Now you’re feeling bashful for other reasons. 
It’s obvious by Peter’s grin that he can tell. He gives your arms another squeeze before moving you out of the way and going to where his clothes are laid out on the bed. 
“Actually, that’s pretty convenient for me.” He discards the towel on the floor, slipping on a pair of boxers and then starting to button up his dress shirt. “You’ve just taken a whole bunch of pressure off my speech. No way anyone’s gonna be looking at me while I’m up there now.”
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chaeyoei · 5 months ago
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Helooo, I’m back with more Jing yuan food. Imagine a Jing yuan that turned into a cat because some assassin accidentally mixed up the poisons with a transformation potion. So you have to take care of him since well…ur his partner. If I was taking care of cat yuan, I’d tie a red ribbon on him just like his human form. Cat yuan food fur u. Bai <33
Lmao you're keeping my mediocre writing spirit up oh well. Grammatical mistakes obv.
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"Honey.. where are you?" You searched through your house. Getting slightly concerned as Jing Yuan was nowhere to be found. He could be in his office due to an emergency but he took a day off today.
"Meow."
That startled you. Did he bring home a cat?
You opened the bedroom door to be greeted by a white cat standing ontop of an unconscious body.
"Jing Yuan!" You rushed forward thinking that the person was Jing Yuan but upon getting closer and closer, your brows furrowed and your steps hatled.
It was a man dressed in black, not to mention he had a weapon. You crouched near it, trying to see the face underneath. There's a chance it could be him.
"Meow!" The cat jumped on you. Occupying your plam by jumping on it. It was so befuddling.
Something told you that this feline was your husband. The suspicion rose when you realise that cats don't have an eye covered by their hair. "Jing Yuan?" You hoped that this cat could understand you and he actually nodded with a meow.
Well whatever that was, you called the Knights and the man caught was an assassin. It took a day but you connected the dots and confirmed that the white feline was indeed your husband.
Cat Jing Yuan.. oh boy. Im going to keep it short because I have to sleep.
After coming to the realisation you had no choice but take care of your now cat husband. But for Jing Yuan..
This was a vacation he never knew he needed.
Getting to lay in your wife's lap all day, getting hugs, kisses and pats and having to not worry about work. Sign him up.
"Meow." The cat purred feeling your fingers glide through his fur.
"You're really enjoying this, huh? The assassin that mixed the chemical is being held in the shackling prison."
Honestly, he loves that stupid assassin now for giving him a free vacation. Maybe, he can ask the dude for one more....
Fu Xuan and Yanqing.
"Lady Y/N, do you know where General Jing Yuan is?" The blonde child asked, in search of his master.
"..."
"He needs to get back to work. Everyone's asking where he is." The Master Diviner grumbled, distressed by the intense questioning she has to answer.
"He... umm." You glanced at the cat who shook his head no. "So, Jing Yuan was poisoned by an assassin in his sleep, he's in no state of working."
"What?!" Both of them shouted in unison.
"General is bed ridden?" Yanqing was concerned.
"..That's not good." Fu Xuan sighed. Her frustration having turned into somewhat sympathy. "I need to keep my omnisa activated every now and then."
"I'll tell the other generals about that situation." She added.
Watching this in your arms, Jing Yuan felt a little guilty. This was becoming his guilty pleasure at this rate.
"Oh Lady Y/N, did you get a new cat?" Yanqing changed the topic.
"Yes."
"..Strange. It almost looks like him." The Lady Diviner was catching on.
Now to the thing you were talking about.
"..Jing Yuan, would you mind a red collar?" You asked the fluffy feline occupying your lap. You had to ask because it would look cute on him but did he want it as well?
"Meow." He agreed after a minute.
You giddily put the collar and ofcourse had to take a picture. Maybe you can collage the photo of human him and cat him and use it as phone wallpaper.
Lingsha. Idk why but I had to do it.
"Hmm.." The lady giggled. "Almost amusing to see the Loufu general be reduced to a mere cat."
"How long do you think the postion lasts, Lady Lingsha?"
"It's been 2 days, you say. The potion's effect lasts for a week so 5 more days remain until the Loufu General becomes himself." The Cauldron Master answered with an amused look.
Fu Xuan.. Again.
"So it was you, General." Fu Xual glared at the cat. Jing Yuan hid behind your figure.
"I apologise for lying, Lady Fu."
She sighed. "I suppose there's nothing to be done. How more until he turns back?"
"4 more days."
The pink haired woman shook her head in defeat.
I know it makes no sense.
People were beggining to question you as well. It was a bit overwhelming at times. But luckily, your cat husband was there to be your plushie.
Things he doesn't like as a cat.
Now being pampered is fine and all but it started to get boring when he had nothing to do but laze around. He also couldn't embrace you or keep you in his arms and lap anymore (obviously). It was.. irritating to say the least.
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Yep I'm not happy with this. I'll update this if I can.
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covid-safer-hotties · 20 days ago
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I want to ask you this in good faith-- at what point do you think we can "stop worrying" about covid? Is there a particular statistical benchmark or qualitative indicator that you believe will show the covid pandemic is over?
I'm curious because you've responded to multiple people pointing out that the death toll & long covid metrics are lower than ever essentially saying that isn't enough to stop caring. So in your view, what is?
The benchmarks professionals have listed throughout the pandemic have yet to be met. If we could hit a single one, that would sure be nice. I'd stop worrying about covid if we could hit about 20,000 infections a week during a seasonal peak with reasonalble vaccine uptake (~70٪ or higher) of a vaccine that provides both mucosal and sterilizing immunity at reasonable levels. We're averaging around 20,000 infections a day in the 3-4 valleys we get a year right now, and that's without widespread wastewater testing from coast to coast and extremely low lab testing, so we know that those cases are an undercount. Not even 18% of Americans got the latest booster this fall, and the current vaccines neither induce mucosal immunity nor provide decent levels of sterilizing immunity (vaccinated people can act as unwitting asymptotic carriers of the virus) and (especially mRNA) vaccine efficacy drops rapidly after an antibody titre peak at around 2 months post vaccination. Current expert estimates for xmas day show us hitting more than 1,000,000 infections a day. A million infections a day would only take the national level into the CDC's new "medium" category. It's higher than both the Alpha and Beta waves. Of they were pandemic, so is this one. To act otherwise is to bury one's head in the sand and go "LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and that is our current public health response. Even if covid's death rate remains ~1%, that's 1% of a minimum ~20,000 a day even when we're not in a peak. One in five of each of those cases will develop lingering viral disease that mirrors HIV in its viral persistence and immune damage. If any of these things I mentioned can be reasonalbly addressed and substantially lessened, and these waves stop happening globally every 2 to 4 months, we'll stop being in a pandemic. If the government stops stifling data collection and acting like public health is a personal choice, I'll relax just a bit, because then I could actually do a risk assessment and trust that my community has mitigations in place like air filtration, masked staff, daily tests for staff, etc.
The death toll isn't the only metric to look at, and those deaths shouldn't be dismissed just because we're no longer stuffing corpses into reefer trailers. Each infection is a threat to someone's life and health in the long term, and we're refusing to look at that reality and adapt. Ignorance and bluster are not a public health response, and y'all should be pissed that's what the government is doing, not going out for mimosas even though "I've had a 'really bad cold for 5 days'."
The effects are cumulative and ever growing. To act like those effects just dissappear or don't matter is eugenics.
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leviathanxprincess · 2 months ago
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Introducing the Gehenna Devils to Your Plushies - Pt. 1
The Gehenna Devils deciding to show up to your room for sex end up getting met with you deciding to sit down and show them all your plushies!!
I've decided to split Gehenna into two parts for my mental sake.
Notes: mildly sexual content, nothing to crazy. Gender neutral reader! This part includes: Sitri, Amy, Paimon, & Leraye!
Satan and the other Kings found here !
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Sitri
Honestly, he'll hold back on sex for as long as you wanna talk for.
He listens intently, hanging on to your every word. He's taking notes in his head, jotting down names, any lore you have if you do.
Your the most important person to him after, so every word you have to say is equally important!
He adores being one of the only ones allowed to see this side of you as well.
He has such a soft, endeared smile on his face as he listens to you talk.
Even if you spend hours talking he doesn't mind! He'll let it happen.
Of course, the fact he was here for sex doesn't change, that's always in the back of his head.
And by the time you're done talking he's practically smothering you in affection anyway because of how adorable you are! So of course that leads exactly how you think it will.
And if you just happen to get flustered by said affection, well then that's even better for him! Your heart rate does increase then, after all.
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Amy
He's gonna be kinda blunt about it I think. You start talking about your plushies and he's just like "Okay but I'm here to fuck."
You can give it to him right away, or you could make him wait and keep talking! It's more fun if you go that route.
Tell him he's being too impatient and he can wait a bit!! And then just go on and on and on until he can't take it anymore.
He's annoyed, but most importantly, it's kinda turning him on more.
On the other hand, he also can't deny you're cute like this.
I feel like he's the type to get cuteness aggression.
He's gonna try and start grabbing your cheeks and biting you, once again you could give in. But you could also swat him off and force him to wait longer.
If you really wanna make it worse on him through a little comment his away about how he's acting, a little degrading if you want.
Honestly with the amount of teasing you do to him and how long you make him wait, he's not retaining a single damn piece of information about those plushies.
Be careful your next steps, if you don't stay in control of the situation once you actually allow him to fuck you (which won't be hard if you're trying to dom him), he will take it back. And he's not gonna be the nicest given how frustrated he is lol.
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Paimon
Oh my goodness, you're the cutest thing to him right now!!!
He's practically covering you in kisses, all giggly watching you talk!
He's bound to have a few plushies himself, he'll be sure to show them to you later.
Right now though, he's letting you do your thing. You won't succeed on telling him about every single one in one setting, but he'll listen to however many he can.
Unfortunately you won't be able to talk the more he gets worked up.
He's just thinks you're so adorable!! Eventually he's gonna snap and just start squishing and pinching your cheeks!!!
He can't control himself! He's throwing so many compliments at you and not letting go of your face and giving you kisses!!! Your head is gonna start spinning at the rate he's going.
Of course this leads back to the original reason he was here.
I wouldn't be surprised he gets cuteness aggression too lol.
So prepare for that!!! If your covered in bites after don't even be surprised.
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Leraye
Hey, he has a lot of plushies too!!!
Well, they're all headless. But it's fine!!!! He cherishes them a lot still!!! Mostly because Satan was involved in the being headless part but still !!!
I think he'd be so interested in listening he'd completely forget the original reason he was here for.
I don't know how much he remembers, but he at least knows their names!!!
Honestly I think he just likes hearing you talk. Doesn't matter about what! If you're happy than he's content!!!
By the time you're done, he's just wrapping you in his arms and giving you kisses!
Like I said, he kinda forgot about sex.
It'll come back to him at some point during him kissing and cuddling you. Probably.
Definitely will if it someone starts thundering at least?
Worst comes to worst just ask him what he was here for then you're back on track! And well, maybe turn your plushies around so they won't have to witness what follows.
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lavendermin · 6 months ago
Note
Please don't leave us hanging from the Jing yuan drabble I'm afraid you awoken something in me (take your time also take good care of yourself 💖💯💯)
If you mean the little drabble of jing yuan being told he’s going to have 8 kids in the future, I have soooo many thoughts I’m trying to put together. He makes me insane, anon 🫠💗💗💗
a continuation based off this post below
cw | pregnancy, breeding kink, fem reader
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Needless to say the words linger in his mind for the rest of the day. They play over and over in Jing Yuan’s head. He needs to process them, but what’s there to process?
Coming from the Master Diviner of all people, it was a prominent future she saw. It tells him two things: one, Fu Xuan has been checking up on him (this one is her job actually) and two, he’ll be quite busy with his spouse soon.
How soon? Jing yuan can’t help but wonder. And he didn’t want to pry with Fu Xuan. Best not to give her the upper hand with something to tease him with.
“Something on your mind, love?” Your question brings him out of his pondering. He takes a seat on the couch next to you, a quiet sigh leaving his lips as he sinks into the plush comfort.
“Just a few things I have to do.” His reply is vague and the smug smile he wears makes you raise a brow.
You shuffle over to straddle his thighs, nimble hands working into his tense shoulders.
“A lot of work recently? Will you be busier?”
He chuckles, closing his eyes to relish the attention you give him.
“Mm. Something along those lines.”
“Want me to run a bath for us?”
His hands absentmindedly settle on your hips. “A little later. Haven’t even kissed my wife yet.”
You can’t help but smile with a little roll of your eyes, easily giving in and placing a peck to his lips. It’s chaste and loving—a sincere ‘welcome home’. But as Jing Yuan chases your lips, it’s clear there’s something more he’s after.
You pull away breathless, a string of saliva connecting you both. It’s a little obscene, even for him. “J-Jing–”
He cuts you off as his lips slot over yours again, his tongue pushing into your mouth greedily. This kind of possessiveness was rare with him. It lit a fire in your belly when he got like this. But…
“Jing Yuan– Wait,” you lightly push him off you. His lips continue to feverishly press kisses to your jaw and neck. A sharp gasp leaves you as his hands start to slowly grind you back and forth on his thigh. “L-Love, I’m ovulating. We can’t– It’s too risky.”
It wasn’t like him to be this lost to reason. A rumble akin to a growl leaves him as soon as you mention it. By now your neck is littered in marks he’s sucked to the delicate skin there. Jing Yuan is breathless as he uses all the resolve he has left to stop, his breath hot against your bare chest where he was already pulling down your top.
You can’t help looking at him with concern. In an instant, he looks up at you with composure back under rein. His smile is sweet, devilish as it hides the insatiable hunger that’s growing at an alarming rate.
“All the more reason to make love to my precious wife, wouldn’t you say?”
With the opportunity presented to himself and the tangible future of his wife, lovely and pregnant, he thinks himself a fool not to start now.
You chuckle at first, assuming it’s some of Jing Yuan’s usual teasing. But as his eyes lock with yours, unwavering and pupils blown wide with lust as his arms press you further against his broad body, it dawns on you that he’s completely serious.
“You– We,” you stutter as you feel your core throb with a surge of need. Damn those hormones during your ovulation. In a small, shaky voice you ask, “I thought you said you wanted to wait until you retired… Do you really want to try for a baby?”
There’s a glimmer in your eyes, chest tight with a flood of different emotions. Anticipation, unabashed lust, adoration.
Jing Yuan responds with a chuckle, opting to gently pull your face for a kiss. This one is only a light simmer of the ardent need he has to breed you until dawn.
“If you’re agreeable, of course. There’s a saying from a few star systems down that says life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. I’ve already made you my wife, I’d love to also make you a mother.”
The bright smile that breaks on your face is all the answer he needs as you pull his face in to litter kisses all over his face, ending by going in for a kiss that leaves him smiling like an idiot. Your idiot.
Jing Yuan has no plans to retire soon, but officially starting his family rejuvenated his resolve to continue as general for a while longer. There was still work to be done to keep the Xianzhou safe and ensure the era of peace continues for his children. He’ll have to thank Fu Xuan later for the slip of her tongue.
And it’s no surprise that making love to you for the next few consecutive days proves fruitful a couple weeks later.
Gossip and rumor spreads fast, especially with Jing Yuan being general of the Luofu. He’s constantly in the eye of the public. Once your tummy starts showing a bit more, he can’t help but stroll around proudly with you by his side—his hand protectively on your belly whenever he can. The people call your pregnancy a sign of abundant good luck, an omen for exceptional good to come in the future. Likewise, Jing Yuan is positively over the moon as a soon-to-be-father.
He can’t wait to hold his twin girls in a few months.
And after that, he can breed you again. And again. And again. It’s in his future, after all.
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lets-try-some-writing · 3 months ago
Text
Transformers One: My Thoughts and Critiques
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Note: This is going to be a very long read, so be prepared.
Before I begin my thoughts on the film, allow me to state beforehand that I will be looking at this film as a standalone film first and foremost. I will not be considering the fact that it is meant to be part of a trilogy until the end of my assessment because a good piece of media should be capable of standing on its own. With that said, minor allowances will be made because of this fact.
Additionally, I will not be applying any other continuity lore to this film review in order to limit my continuity bias (although I will make frequent comparisons). Please note that these are my thoughts and opinions and the fact that I even bothered to write more than a two sentence 'it sucked' with a wail of anguish tacked on means that the film has value. I am merely picky. Obviously, this will have a heavy does of my personal takes thrown in along with genuine analysis, so don't take my assessment as gospel.
From this point onwards, spoilers will be present. Read at your own risk.
The Good
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(Me trying really really hard to not accidentally be negative.)
The visuals for Transformers One are, of course, stunning, and the voice acting, as a general rule, is very on point. Chris Hemsworth as Orion Pax and later, Optimus Prime, was a decent decision. I like his voice as Orion, but regarding Optimus? I have opinions that will be discussed later. But for the time being, his voice as Orion gives the character life, emotion, and a great deal of ethos. He's likable and interesting, giving him depth that we have not seen in any other Orion Pax since G1.
Megatron's voice actor was also incredibly well picked. The emotion and tone in his voice was undeniable and gave D-16, and later Megatron, such enthusiasm and vibrancy that I (and likely much of the audience) couldn't help but feel for him in many of his interactions and speeches. I loved hearing how his voice evolved as he went, slowly becoming more aggressive and deep. Elita-One was a reasonable pick when it came to voice actor. She certainly had tone and opinions. Bumblebee's voice actor was very entertaining when it came to giving the character development. Having Bumblebee with such a enthusiastic voice actor made him into someone who had far more depth than he likely would have otherwise.
Sentinel's voice actor was golden. He comes off just the way the movie needs him to be, and it is done quite tastefully, although it certainly doesn't break any molds when it comes to the cliche evil character arc. I adored Airachnid's voice acting. It fit her well and was a polite, but well earned shift from the snootiness seen in other continuities. She automatically has more depth simply because of her voice.
The worldbuilding for Transformers One was well done considering the time limits of the film and the focus that had to be given to other subject matters. There are many issues of course, but overall I cannot fault a single film for not having the length and depth of something like Prime or the IDW comics. The flora and fauna showcased were bright, and at least in the case of the flora, quite diverse. The designs for the few creatures showcased were interesting but not overwhelming, especially for the Quintessons. The shift from inorganic to organic was clear as day with their presence, and highlighted the love and care put into every single frame of the film. It was clear that there was real love shown to each character, movement, and scene. For once, the creators seemed to genuinely care about what they were doing.
The fight scenes were stunning. They flowed incredibly well and made excellent use of the environment and the biological aspects of fighters. The use of partial transformation and transformation in general was something I have never seen given such emphasis in a Transformers film or cartoon, not since Prime at any rate. It was done perfectly in my opinion, and showed an actual understanding of how the characters should move and likely would move in various combat situations.
Onto the actual film. The movie hops right into the action and we, the audience, are given a fantastic view into who Orion Pax is as a character. We see his longing to be something greater right off the bat, giving new fans a solid start for his character. Old fans are also given a nod to various continuities with his character design and his overall knowledge and interest in the archives tied with his station as a miner.
The design of Iacon was a fascinating shift from other continuities, that with everything being underground. And D-16's introduction was well integrated into the scene. His and Orion's friendship is masterfully done, and their interaction on the train gives amazing hints into their past, potential history, and creates interesting lore for an audience to ponder. Their relationship is by far one of the most important and intricate parts of the film. It is a masterclass in setting up a relationship prior to a film or story actually shoving two characters into a setting where more of their traits are showcased. Honestly, we can see so much about both of them from that first scene.
D-16 bailing Orion out of trouble quietly like its normal. Orion going through all the effort to give his friend something of value that is both personal and has money attached. Banter that showcases their depth and rich relationship that also flows smoothly and naturally, like old friends should. We get to see how Megatron will come into being through his adoration of Sentinel Prime and Megatronus Prime. His youthfulness combined with Orion's desire to see and experience everything brings out the best in both characters, giving them reason to be together and to get along.
I will never stop giving my praise for that first scene with D-16 and Orion since it was so tastefully done.
Their work in the mines is well directed and the introduction of Elita is... a thing. (thoughts later)
The lore presented in the mining operations is ingenious as it showcases both Cybertron's situation, lays the groundwork for the knowledge characters possess later in the film, and overall shows D-16 and Orion's hesitant heroism (at least on D-16's part) when they save Jazz from certain death. In some cases, the introduction of new information is masterfully done through the use of referencing demotions and promotions in a manner that applied to the situation in question. The lore regarding energon and the overall loyalty of the miners also demonstrates much of the mindset Cybertron is operating under and is done quite well, as seen with the cogless bots being totally fine with their lack of transformation ability for the most part.
Brilliantly done pre-set mindsets. Especially showcased with Sentinel's message to the cogless leaving them all in sheer awe and cheer. I could sense the villain a hundred yards away, but I could tell that the characters believed what they were hearing, and that in my opinion is a show of how well presented the mindsets of the characters and overall view of the society are.
The race was fun to watch, with plenty of spectacle. Orion and D-16's conversation pre-race showed more of their character and D-16's adherence to the rules vs Orion's desire for something more. Orion leading them through back roads into the race also added more depth to Orion's character which I adored (and was unfortunately underutilized). I appreciated the tricks pulled by Orion and D-16 to win. I also adored the brotherhood shown between them, especially how Orion went through the effort of giving D-16 his chance to be a hero, even if D-16 was hesitant. Their brotherhood in the beginning of the film was honestly one of the best highlights, and distracted me from many other things that I will discuss later that were less than optimal.
I loved seeing how excited D-16 was toward the end of the race, and of course how Orion stopped to help him. Their banter in what I assume was the medical bay was also enjoyable and laid further groundwork for D-16's character.
The scene with Sentinel congratulating D-16 and Orion Pax was suitably filled with awe and stiltedness in equal measure. It played well and showed D-16's character as well as Orion Pax's passion and drive. One thing I will not fault the film for is Orion's devotion to his goals. They were clear and remained so from the get-go along with D-16 admiration (right up until the fifty minute mark).
The meeting with B-127 was unique, and an interesting show into the madness that forms in those who are condemned to the bottom rungs of society, even though it was played for laughs. The introduction of the main plot device was something I have critiques regarding. Although, with that said, D-16 and B-127's reasonings for going were both done pretty well. I like how D-16's reason played off his character and previous history with Orion. Again, the brotherhood between them is key in this film.
The logical leap to get onto the trains was well done and also set up essential plot devices for later. Elita's presence was odd, but whatever.
The fight scene on the train and the rush to stop Elita from telling on all of them was well played for the most part. Her anger made sense and her snark didn't exactly come from nowhere. Her taking of the map made reasonable sense (although I have opinions). B-127 is vaguely humorous at times during their journey, which I can appreciate in small doses. (His cave comment got a vague chuckle out of me.)
The introduction of the Quintessons was well placed in light of the future scene with Sentinel. I loved our main characters maneuvering to avoid detection as it showed their cooperation as a team for the most part. Orion's knowledge of the Quintessons made sense in light of the very first scene in the film (again, it was an excellent start to the movie and laid a lot of groundwork).
There were a few scenes in this film that really kicked me in the feels, and the moment the group enter the cave and find the bodies of the dead Primes is one of those moments. The scene is solemn, not a hint of snark or banter to be found. Everyone is lamenting, thinking. The atmosphere was perfect, and the sheer emotion from D-16 in particular was delightful in its own quiet way. The way he sat before Megatronus Prime was emotional. For once in the rapid fire mess that is TF One, time was taken to let everything sink in. You can see a quiet shift in him, and in Orion there is something that makes the audience note how lost he appears. Elita and B-127 only added to the scene as their usual lines died off, letting the scene simply breathe. It was, in my opinion, very well done. Especially with the music running softly in the background.
Their worldview was shattered in that cave, and I adored seeing it play out.
Alpha Trion's character was done well, very well considering how short of a chance he had to be on screen. He showed proper confusion, but then moved along once he noted the situation. There are things I would change obviously, but his character played its part, and I appreciated how he got to the point and limited his cryptic behavior to an extent. He seemed tired, as he should have. His death was also well timed and I appreciated how much the movie wasn't afraid to straight up off a titular character in other continuities. The scene with the T-cog distribution was also a delight to watch. The animation was very clean and it gave me a whole lot to ponder biology wise.
I must say Sentinel's interaction with the Quintessons was, quite frankly, not surprising. But it did convey its point well. I like watching this noble looking character finally drop his façade fully, bowing before invaders and shocking our main cast (even if the audience could see this coming from two seconds into the film).
D-16 and Orion's first argument hit me in the feels, mainly because I really did understand D-16 far more than I did Orion. He was angry, he wanted justice, and above all else, he looked lost. I was simply enthralled with the way his character started to shift and change, going from passive to aggressive in response to rapid fire hits to his worldview, ultimately leading to a perfectly reasonable bot shattering under the pressure.
Alpha Trion offering the group T-cogs from the Primes was interesting and left me with many worldbuilding related questions. The scene where the group first transform was fun. I liked how the characters were given a chance to show their inexperience and struggles. Disregarding the comedy, it made perfect sense for bots who'd never once transformed to have to learn to do it all from scratch, trial and error. It was fun, especially D-16's leg being stuck halfway into turning into treads.
From here my praise is a bit more limited, but I enjoyed seeing D-16 flex his authority and get his group in line. I appreciated the moment of tension between him and Orion, showing the conflict brewing and yet the lingering brotherhood that had not yet cracked. It was delightful to see the war going on inside D-16 in that moment, the hesitancy and the care for his best friend buried under newfound rage and betrayal. Orion later doing his best to try and check up on D-16 was a delightful touch that only further cemented their struggling companionship as the film progressed.
Seeing Starscream was fun. Shockwave's voice was a nice addition and the extra emotion I find was a bonus. Also Soundwave with unique abilities. Nice.
D-16 beating the ever living snot out of Starscream was fun on its own, at least without considering the context and pacing. I enjoyed Starscream's character and the change to his usual cowardly behavior was, in my opinion, well earned and much needed (at least so early on in this new continuity). Orion's growing confusion and uncertainty was a lovely touch. I also adored how he stepped in, bringing D-16 back to reality long enough for him to spare Starscream and make his declaration.
Just going to throw this in here. Sentinel Prime is peak evil and I loved how cruel he was throughout the entire film. He oozed snooty and evil billionaire. The entire scene with him slaughtering Alpha Trion like some sort of hound, his dialogue, and later his insults toward D-16 were just *chef's kiss*. Him carving Megatronus's symbol onto D-16's chest was downright evil and served to further prove just how terrible he was. It was a great scene with very solid dialogue. Honestly, despite how evil he was, Sentinel was one of my favorite characters simply because he was consistent and his dialogue was very well done without any severe stilted moments right up until the end.
Not much to say about the D-16 capture and the Orion & Elita-One pep talk scene. It happened. More thoughts in The Bad section.
Additionally, D-16 staring death in the face was brilliant. I loved seeing his sheer defiance, and the way he met his potential end with honor even when B-127 was willing to stay down. It spoke so much of his character and his development since the beginning of the film. He went from wanting to hide from fights to actively standing up for his rights.
Orion talking to all the miners was, in theory, and probably on paper, a fantastic scene. It wasn't as grand as it could have been, but I really appreciated the size difference between him and the others combined with his attempts to rally them. His speech was moving and I could see his comradery with his fellows the spark of Optimus Prime within him. I loved seeing him rally his troops, encouraging his people to stand and fight. The miners being all so small really did wonders for the scene though. I know I already referenced the size difference, but seeing all these cogless bots look up in awe did something wonderful, especially with the lighting.
The revelation of the truth was downright brutal. It wasn't done as well as it could have been, but I appreciated it all the same, even if it gave off "I'd kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" vibes. (Thank you, Monsters Inc).
D-16 fighting Sentinel and then the subsequent attempt on Orion's part to calm him down was... painful (in a good way). I knew it was coming, I could smell it a mile away, but I honestly hadn't expected the scene to play out as it had. Orion trying to stop D-16 once was expected. Him trying again and getting hit was very him, and very powerful with D-16's response thrown in. Seeing the anger that had been brewing in D-16 fade for a moment to instead be replaced by guilt and grief for a precious second brought me nothing but sheer joy. It was such a turning point for the character, especially when the disbelief in his tone hit. D-16 holding onto Orion while on the verge of breaking down, warring with himself, and then deciding to let Orion fall?
Beautiful.
In that moment, we got to see D-16 metaphorically die alongside Orion Pax, breaking their brotherhood so that Megatron could rise from the ashes and try to bring down everything that led to their paths crossing and ultimately diverging. Honestly, I would have paid good money for an alternate ending where Orion died and stayed dead for a while longer, specifically so that Megatron could have a chance to grieve and contemplate. There was just so much going on in that scene with the music, the loss, and the tension that made it a fantastic visual.
The whole comparison between Orion and D-16 as they changed and morphed was a wonderful thing to witness. I enjoyed Megatron's birth a bit more than I did Optimus's, but that was largely because as Orion approached Primus's core, I personally would have adjusted a few small things to keep the dramatics in place. Megatron's birth however was truly stunning, showcasing his strength, his rage, and his passion all in a few short scenes. The music was phenomenal and only made it all the grander. His speech was simply perfection and I have absolutely no complaints. The concept of Megatron was rightfully embodied there and I was all but squealing in excitement when he made his declaration.
Optimus and Megatron's battle was amazingly done. The fighting and the use of weapons and transformation was spectacular and I have exactly zero complaints regarding the fight scene on its own. Optimus then banishing Megatron from Iacon had its own set of feelings, although, there are things I would change.
Bumblebee's line at the end of the movie was actually funny. It got a very solid chuckle out of me.
The flashback was adorable. I loved seeing the contrast between the bot who D-16 was, versus what he became. A brilliant scene, albeit a tad out of place in my opinion.
I have exactly nothing good to say about the last few sequences of the film. But I will say that Megatron is forever awesome.
With all that said, the music for the movie was phenomenal and made scenes that otherwise would have been simply moving into heart wrenching moments of awe. The Fall is by far my favorite simply because of all the emotional tracks in it. Every time I listen, I see that pivotal scene play out in my mind. Megatron and Optimus's birth, so perfectly contrasted and the emotion played out spectacularly. It's been days since I watched the film, and the emotional value of the music hasn't worn off in the slightest.
The Bad
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(Aka, my rant combined with actual critiques)
Oh boy here we go.
Orion is just off. As a character, there's something off about him. He's perfectly acceptable on his own, but there is a lack of substance to him that makes it difficult to find him compelling at times. We never really know why he even gives a crap about the things he does. He just cares about the Matrix and becoming greater because of... reasons. There's no basis for his interests, not like D-16 who expressed in dialogue and actions why he cared about the things he did. He loved Sentinel because Sentinel "saved" them. He loved Megatronus Prime because he was the "strongest Prime who ever lived". Orion's reasoning for caring about the Matrix and freedom in general amounted to wanting to help Sentinel. I mean, it made sense, but it wasn't particularly fulfilling for his character, especially when the rest of the population was perfectly fine with their situations for the most part.
There needs to be reasoning. What happened to him to have him break the mold and try to act out? Why did he break it at all? Orion is obviously an outlier in mentality, and therefore he should have at least been given a single line of dialogue with D-16 to explain his interest, (excluding his declaration of wanting to help Sentinel find the Matrix. That is a mere statement and it didn't give me much of anything to understand why he cared since he wasn't as devoted as D-16). This issue follows him throughout the whole film. He's a bit of a shell at times, although it could have been due to the way his dialogue hit. This lack of foundation for his character made it difficult for me to really feel for him like I did with D-16. When D-16 got angry, I was on his side because I understood where he was coming from. But with Orion? He was always just... there. He expressed emotion and I loved seeing how he shifted, but his growth didn't match the pace the movie set, leaving him in the dust a bit.
It weakened his character drastically.
His voice is also a tad... bland. No offence to Hemsworth, but I just don't think he managed to capture Orion like Brian Tyree Henry managed to get D-16 and Megatron. Orion had his moments, and those moments were spectacular, but his speeches never had any of the depth of Peter Cullen's Optimus or the youth of TFA's Optimus. He lacked something distinctive to set him apart. He tended to sound somewhat blank in certain scenes, almost like Hemsworth had only just been given the script (or was still attempting to be Thor). It was especially bad when Orion becomes Optimus Prime. Where Hemsworth did an arguably fantastic job as Orion, his voice simply didn't fit Optimus. Am I biased because I enjoy Peter Cullen more? Yes. But also, Optimus is a mech meant to show power.
He needed a deeper voice desperately, something that would rattle and have the tone of a true commander, demanding respect even when he's being gentle. Hemsworth was a fine Orion Pax, but Optimus needed to change and become something more in my opinion. They didn't even have to change voice actor if Hemsworth could pull off a bit of range like Brian Tyree Henry did with D-16 and Megatron.
No complaints about D-16's introduction.
Back to the film. The sheer amount of background Easter eggs was fun right up until I started seeing far too many familiar faces in the same place. The world of Transformers One, unfortunately, feels incredibly small. We see Iacon and we see the cogless and Sentinel's servants, but nothing else is really there. It's a strange emptiness. I can tell the film creators were trying to fill the void, but we never got the chance to see those who did more than just mine. Where's the middle ranks? Who is running everything else? Why is every single Autobot a miner? There should at least be a few middle rank bots wandering around. We did see scenes with random civilians at the end, but I would have liked to see a greater range of work involved in Iacon. Even just a medic would have been great. If those things don't exist, then how does the city operate? Where the heck are the other cities? Is there a council of some sort? How is Sentinel running literally everything without an inner circle? We only ever see Arachnid after all.
Honestly, a tad more variety is what we needed. Not to say the variety we got was terrible, but seeing a medic, a random vendor, or even a military drill sergeant in the background would have done wonders I think.
Additionally, there should not be so many familiar bots all in one place. I know this is a new continuity, but it feels weird because there is no way every single big Autobot just happens to come from Iacon because they were ALL cogless miners. If that is the case, that destroys so much depth it's not even funny. I mean, the continuity can do what it wants since its new and has its own lore, but I suppose its a bit of a let down if everyone shares the exact same origin. Additionally, the voice acting for most background characters was... fine. Some scenes were fantastic, like the race where everyone rushes to see the miners on screen. But the movie could have greatly benefited from a few more unique and passionate voices. I wanted to see true anger, REAL heartbreak at the lies that had been fed to the cogless. This is more petty than anything else, but a few more voices and a bit more depth would have been fantastic.
It's only made worse by the fact that the entire film just feels tiny compared to the scale its operating on. One city, one mining area, one train, one open field, one race track, one abandoned base, one rebellion base, and a cave. Sounds good on paper, right? Lots of room to move. But we never see anything about any other part of the world. Not even a mention or a poster on the wall for a different city. It made everything so much smaller and more controlled. That's not necessarily a bad thing film wise, but giving artificial depth through background characters and whatnot would have been great. Even just some chatter from background characters would have served this purpose. Think about Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Both movies referenced planets and places that came into play later far before they actually showed up, and in only one or two lines. TF One needed such dialogue if it wanted to establish the scale of the world. Unfortunately, we didn't get that.
The first mining scene in the movie agitated me on a spiritual level. Not necessarily because it was bad. I found the actual operation of the scene very interesting, especially seeing how Cybertron reacts to the mining and how the bots go about getting energon. It was downright fascinating watching the trained and trialed methods the crew used to get in, do their mining, and get out. Jazz was hilarious. However, Elita-One murdered the mood for me.
Elita is... an interesting case. I will just say it outright. She serves no purpose within the film that actually means anything. And this fatal flaw reflects horribly on her character. On her own, a bit of snark and anger over her situation and even the arrogance would be good character flaws for her to work past, but combined with her place in the film, it made her nothing short of grating. Every scene she did anything more than fight or offer reasonable commentary was a slow torture for me. There was nothing to give me a reason to like her. She's an arrogant bot who thinks she knows and can do everything, and that bothers me. If there was something for her to have to go through to work past those flaws, then I could appreciate it. But she maintained her poor disposition throughout the entire film with little to no outward changes. It was a wasted character and an arc that was never even given a chance to exist.
With that said, every time Elita turned up and started getting talkative I died a little inside. I am prepared to be crucified for that take.
Elita's attitude after Orion and D-16 saved Jazz was just the worst. Even though I understood her take, she still bothered me with her rudeness. She's a very selfish character if you really look at her, and it shows. Her voice acting wasn't bad, although there were a few repeat lines that got stale fast.
The Iacon race was a fun concept, but Orion's character was again left to exist in a vacuum when he took D-16 to the race. Evidently, Orion knows a crap ton about the underground and travelling discreetly. This skill is never seen again. Nor is his knowledge of travelling quietly on his own ever mentioned after this scene, to my knowledge at any rate. Whatever the case, he was given a hint of lore and then left to go be rebellious for reasons we still do not have a solid foundation for. Honestly, I understood D-16 far more than I did Orion and I think that's a problem in a film meant to be their origin.
I have no real complaints about the actual race. The scene with Sentinel had nothing for me to comment on negatively.
Bumblebee is again, another character who holds little use in the film. I understand WHY he was put in (fanservice and all that), but the way he was implemented was very poor. There were far better ways to incorporate him into the story and actually make him important and telling. Instead, he's just a chatterbox there for jokes and one liners. He's far less agitating than Elita though because at least he has vague chemistry with our main protagonists. Also, B-127's whole nickname sequence should have been cut, or at least sidelined a bit. It really wasn't that funny, and if the crew were trying to show how isolation has gotten to him, the whole fake friends part got that across quite well.
The plot device was ridiculous. Not necessarily in its existence, but in its implementation. You want to have a SOS message from Trion to be the key? Cool. DON'T put it in the actual trash in the most obscure place on Cybertron. The fact that the bloody message survived is a miracle and quite frankly, it felt contrived. There were far better ways to implement the message. Think about Stars Wars and R2D2. Personally, I would have been privy to a bit of War for Cybertron coming into play, or possibly Smokescreen from Prime. That way Bee could actually be useful while still offering the crew their plot device. That said, it wasn't the worst thing and with a bit of grace, it is not a major sin.
The train scene with Elita was actually painful to watch. I despise her so much, and she just made the whole thing agony to get through. I skipped through her kicking the guys around like boyscouts because it was not appealing in the slightest. (I do understand some people like her, but I am not one of them and this is where my bias shows most.)
No complaints about their stint on the roof of the train.
Elita's entire scene on the ground where she gets in Orion's face made me want to strangle her. I can understand her reasoning, but she's so frickin annoying that I simply could not care about her in the slightest. Her lines might have even been funny if she hadn't been such a poorly done character.
Why does she get the map??? Why??? She isn't even meant to BE there??? Orion, why are you letting her walk all over you??? That's your evidence! You can't even trust her! Let D-16 read the bloody thing. He feels like he has the most braincells out of all of them. I get that they were aiming for girlboss and mom friend vibes combined with Elita, but she's simply agitating and I think it would have been far better for Orion or D-16 to lead the way and show more of their character. Actually, let Orion do it. He snuck into the archives all the time. He's a perfect fit for the role and would have given him the chance to show off that foundation that he lacked throughout the entire movie. If they REALLY needed Elita, they could have used the chance to build that oh so lovely ship bait for fans by having Elita and Orion have to work together to successfully read the map. After all, Orion knows all the weird underhanded stuff and Elita was a team leader for the miners. Their combined knowledge could have been a bonding moment AND been useful to the plot later to show why they fight together in a reasonable fashion.
Again, Transformers One feels tiny. There was one creature type shown on screen, and I understand animating is a pain, but even just some shifting shadows as the group walked would have been nice. Would have made things feel more alive and artificially expanded. (again, a petty complaint above all else. Maybe Cybertron just doesn't have a ton of animals.)
No complaints about the cave scene.
So... T-cogs can just be taken from the dead? Is that not a health issue? We see later that Megatron taking Megatronus's T-cog changes him further. Does that imply that all four of the crew are now biologically related to the Primes? If those T-cogs aren't rusted to hell and back after fifty cycles and don't give the crew infections later, this has some startling implications. Less of a complaint and more of my confusion. Seriously, are there no prerequisites to have a T-cog when a bot's original one has been removed?? Does this mean that biological offspring can be a thing via passing on a T-cog?
(I have some worrying thoughts about relationships on Cybertron now because of the shift in characteristics for the crew when they got their Prime inherited T-cogs)
Too much exposition from Alpha Trion. It fit the scene certainly, but the whole film had a running problem of mouthing off and throwing exposition around like candy. It was not done particularly tastefully 90% of the time. In fact, the only exposition that I liked was from D-16 and B-127 because it felt natural for them to explain things as they did. Trion's was cool certainly, and honestly if Orion's first exposition in the archive and then Trion's were the only dumps, I would have been quite happy.
I can't believe the Primes fell as easily as they did. I understand they were ambushed. But how on earth did Sentinel manage to personally cut down several of them when, up until that point, Alpha Trion said they were winning? One sneak attack is understandable, but the rest was a bit unbelievable. Especially Megatronus Prime.
Why is everyone suddenly so chill with killing? I mean D-16 just shot someone to DEATH despite having never raised a hand to pretty much anyone with intent to kill up until that point. Is this a society thing? Cultural? (I am not talking about Orion here. He's a sunflower compared to B-127 and everyone else going off and chopping enemies to bits)
Regarding D-16's arc, it was rapid fire from this point onward. I can see what they were aiming for, but there was a distinct lack of anything to really cause him to fall as far and as fast as he did. Actually, allow me to rephrase. Rather it was that he HAD reason, it was simply too fast paced of a film for me to feel his change and truly cement it in my soul. It stuck and it most certainly made sense, but it was a bit like whiplash when he chose to let Orion fall to his death despite them having gotten along up until that point for the most part.
Orion is an idiot as well. He spent all of D-16's rapid fall into warlording staring at his best friend like a confused goldfish. He did very little to step in aside from try to ask if D-16 was alright and stopping him from killing Starscream. Yes, D-16 was captured and there wasn't a lot of time to do therapy. Yes, the rapid character change occurred literally over the course of like, a day and change, so I can't fully blame Orion. And do I understand why he was so hesitant? Yes of course. The change was super fast. Do I also understand how and why D-16 fell? Absolutely yes. Were both of these characters rushed? Abso-frickin-lutely. The foundations were there and they were fantastic. They just had to be roller coastered to their completion without any regard for the emotional value of pacing their respective shifts away from their previously shared goal.
I do not truly blame the film creators for the rush, but it does kill a lot of the emotional impact that would have come if we'd been given more time to see D-16 and Orion have more and more arguments over increasingly difficult moral decisions.
Starscream and the High Guard are stupid. They are a fantastic concept on paper, but much like half the cast, their implementation was poor in the extreme. They came from nowhere, were exposition dumped into existence, and promptly followed the rando who beat the snot out of Starscream and could have, for all they knew, been an actual spy. For some of the best trained bots on the planet, there was not a single braincell amongst them.
Starscream had so much potential too. But that vanished into smoke twenty seconds into his face getting bashed in. Soundwave looks like a taco. And he acts like one with his lack of substance character wise. Shockwave was neat right up until he got wrapped up into the stupid gag with B-127. It's a dumb joke and it destroyed whatever seriousness was building. Like come on guys, we are at the one hour mark. It's time to get serious or go home. Again, aren't these the High Guard???? Very important very well trained bots??? Why are they acting like savages and petty children? We at least need explanation for that if we are rolling under that rule. They needed more depth desperately. As it stands, they were nothing more than free guns for D-16 to yoink for future movies.
Also, again, Orion the goldfish. Standing there all confused without doing a bloody thing about it. He's so passive in this movie and it infuriates me because it feels like his character arc never picked up the pace like D-16's did at the hour mark. I understand he's going through a lot and watching his bro fall is likely a bit shock to the system, but one would think with how close they are that Orion of all bots would be the one to try and humble his brother in arms. (I am aware he did his best with what time he had, but still). I know that if one of my siblings decided to go all murder hobo on me I would be the first to get up there and throw a shoe at their head. Once more, I do understand that Orion was likely in shock, but due to the pacing of the film, he feels a bit like stale bread right up until he's literally shot.
Neat, a fight scene. D-16 is captured, ooooh that could be interesting- aaaaaaaand there's Elita being the worst again. Great pep talk. Fantastic even. Now I hate her even more because all I am getting is sheer arrogance and not even in a humorous way like Knockout from TFP. Good heavens Elita sucks.
"We won't follow you." *Elita exists* "wE wiLl fOLLoW yOu" - Frag ALL the way off with this garbage. High Guard indeed. High on drugs and low on self-esteem. Elita has done NOTHING to prove herself worthy of being followed, or Orion for that matter. It would make far more sense for the High Guard to just be pissed off and opt to go fight Sentinel on their own since they've lost their new leader and a ton of their troops all in one raid. It would have been majestic for them to straight up decide now or never and lead a charge, and then have Elita and Orion join them with unexpected troops in the form of the cogless.
Again, aren't these guys meant to be the High Guard? Why can't they get into their own city? Surely they have contacts or old knowledge? Actually, why can't Orion bargain his way into their ranks using his knowledge of all things underhanded in Iacon? It would have been a great callback to his scene getting himself and D-16 into the race. I know they sort of went that route by having Elita get everyone in while Orion went to fetch the cogless, but it would have been way more interesting to see them working together in a logical manner and planning their attack. I know there were time constraints, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have worked together for a short period of time and shown either the brutality of the High Guard or their similarities in regards to goals and ideals.
The scene with Orion addressing the cogless was certainly stunning, but it needed more. Emphasis, tone, lighting, music. I think it needed something just a touch grander. Not too much mind you. Orion needed to have come back with a new aura around him, something to really make him stand out aside from his newfound height. This is his dawning moment after all, his first spark of Optimus Prime. If he'd spent some time scheming with the High Guard, maybe he could have had an air of a fledgling soldier, just bloodied and ready for battle. He did punch Darkwing, and that certainly helped, so I will give him a pass in this regard. His speech still would have meant more if he'd been a bit grittier and yet still kind, especially contrasting D-16 who took one life and then never stopped doing that. His compassion was a nice touch, as well as his relatability to his fellows, but there had to be that hint of something more commanding. He had the inklings and I appreciated his first real speech, but the rallying cry was, in my opinion, a tad off. It could have been due to the voice acting. (Seriously though I did love this scene, I just have itty bitty suggestions regarding how it could have been better. And Orion made a funny face halfway through his big pep talk so there's that).
The background character voice acting didn't show quite enough confusion or awe for me to really be sold on the scene. I would have preferred something more akin to the TFP scene where the kids are introduced to Optimus. Shock, awe, excitement, a hint of fear. Those things were present of course, and I understand the miners were tired from doing their million and a half shifts. But a bit more could have been done. More background chatter essentially.
No complaints about the Sentinel and D-16 interaction.
The battle scene was well done, all of them. The Arachnid thing worked, but the big reveal of the truth did absolutely feel torn right off of 'cliche villain downfall bingo'. I would have liked something a tad more original. Just a bit. But it did get the point across well enough so I can't really be upset.
Again with the background characters. It wasn't bad, but where's the RAGE?!? Where is the sheer chaos? It was emphasized later with the battle, but I think that scene with the big reveal needed a bit more violence so show just how unruly the population ended up. It could also make it clear why so many would eventually choose to join Megatron. Give me ONE guy with a Molotov cocktail throwing it at a statue of Sentinel or something. Why not have some of the cogless start attacking their superiors as well as Sentinel's servants, just to show the sheer destruction going on? Please, it would have been delightful and only have taken up like, five second of screen time MAX.
No real complaints about the scene with Orion, D-16, and Sentinel. It was still fast paced, and Orion still felt a bit like a goldfish, but overall the scene was perfect. The pacing is all that made it feel somewhat off.
The birth of Megatron was perfect. Zero complaints.
Once Orion reached Primus's core, the birth of Optimus gave off "Meeeeeeeegatrooooooooon~" vibes from the TFP Movie (Thank you Unicron. Love the voice acting man). Alpha Trion's voice was not doing it for me. It made a grand moment rather cheesy. Personally I think Orion needed whispers, echoes and flashbacks to go along with D-16's increasing violence and declaration. It would have been the perfect time to throw that flashback from the closing part of the film in. Let Orion see a ton of rapid images of him and D-16 along with increasingly loud whispers from all the Primes, cumulating in "Arise, Optimus Prime." Maybe even chuck in visions of the dead Primes, showing bits of their lives as a way to nod to the knowledge contained within the Matrix (if this continuity is going that route anyway. If nothing else, it would look cool and allow each Prime to meet Optimus in a natural manner during his creation). Additionally, that way Optimus can maintain a hint of mysteriousness but also grandeur.
Optimus flying up to the surface like superman.
I get what they were going for, but it was a tiny bit silly. I think it would have been grander for Optimus to have taken a bit longer returning, simply so that he could have the very earth part for him Moses style. I am not entirely sure. There isn't really a right way to fix this scene in light of the time constraints, and frankly the sonic shoot up to the surface did look cool and served its dramatic entrance purpose. I don't necessarily dislike it, but given the opportunity, I would have gone a slightly different route.
No commentary on the battle. It was perfect.
Again, Megatron's character arc was seriously rushed. He needed far more time. I adore him in TF One. He's quite literally the best character in there. But everything leading up to his final moment was rushed and it left me feeling unsatisfied at the end. There was plenty of foreshadowing in small ways, but those didn't start happening until the hour mark, give or take. Also, Optimus banishing Megatron from Iacon?? Why just Iacon??? Where the heck are the other cities?? Do they exist?? I'm spitballing but the whole scene felt ever so slightly off. Megatron limping into the distance didn't feel quite right. I honestly think that in exchange for wounding him, Optimus should have gotten a scar somewhere in return as a reminder of his cause. Megatron got Megatronus's face burned onto him. Let Optimus get a similarly noticeable marking, that way both players show a mark of their fallen friendship.
Sidenote: How does ANYONE know how to fight in this film?? Sentinel, the High Guard, and those with T-cogs makes sense. Orion? Sure. He did a lot of rough housing. Elita? Maybe. Hard to tell with her limited background. But D-16 and B-127? The rest of the cogless? Where did they pick it up? Its a recurring problem. And how does the crew improve so fast? I mean, they know how to fight with their big ol saws from mining, but we don't get to see in anyone except Orion so its hard to believe anything. We are never given a solid time period between the journey to the surface and then back down again, and really I think some of that travel time should have been spent with the group sparring or otherwise bantering about their backgrounds to lay the groundwork for their skillsets.
Regarding the final scene of the film, its really bad. Painfully bad.
(I would like to throw Elita off the nearest structure thank you.)
I get that they are laying the groundwork for more movies, but the flashback was quite forced. It was cute and absolutely had a place in the film somewhere, but not right there. It didn't feel quite right, or at least not with how it was edged into. The narration was just... weird, to me at any rate. The T-cogs being distributed was cool, certainly. But it raises many questions about the logic of it all. It feels dues ex machina. Not in a good way either. Not saying it wasn't cool, but it did feel forced. Like a participation trophy. I would have loved to see the cogless remaining that way and having to collect cogs from wherever Sentinel stored them, or otherwise take them from the fallen. That way they could have more diversity going forward.
That whole ending bit with Optimus and the Autobots running into the sunset was stupid. There is no other way to describe it. The scene gave nothing to the film and I think it would have been spent far better if we saw Optimus and Megatron both gathering their armies while the Quintessons loomed overhead. Megatron watching his warships be built and then him looking up at the sky. Optimus gathering up the cogless and helping them get their T-cogs via Matrix and then also looking upward. Only to then have it end with the Quintessons looming above.
The Quintessons were so underutilized in TF One it wasn't even funny. I don't even really know why they were there. I mean I understand they had to exist for war reasons and Sentinel and all that. But if they are such a threat, then they need to either be driven off so that the Cybertronian civil war can happen, or they need to make themselves everyone's problem so that Optimus and Megatron's spat looks all the worse for the planet.
There needed to be more for the Quintessons. They needed to have played a bigger role or to have been somehow removed from the playing field by the end of the film. Even one scene with them seeing Sentinel falling and then opting to get the heck out of dodge would have served well enough. But they didn't. And for that reason they are just... there. Letting their prized slaves rebel. They won once against all the Primes. Why not do so again?
Also why do they want the energon??? There are too many questions right now and not even the barest inkling of an answer.
The Characters
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(A look into every character of note + my edits to their development in the film.)
Orion Pax/Optimus Prime:
Orion's character is quite well done. He has goals, morals, and a personality that shines in the right environment. His adventurous spirit gives him life, and his desperate desire for something more makes him compelling when he's given the opportunity to really flex his morality muscles. He has a bit of fight in him, an eagerness to improve and assist those around him that makes him lovable and fun. Every moment he was on screen was a delight, and there was never any point where I directly despised his presence. He had moments of greatness, and moments where I would have preferred someone consulted Peter Cullen for advice on scenes where more Optimus was meant to show. His arc was steady, but it didn't move quite fast enough to match the pace D-16 set with his rise (or fall). It was clear Orion was meant go from largely trying to become greater for his own personal reasons to instead fighting for something more than himself. The creators were attempting to broaden him, give him more to fight for and more to lose. They were well on their way to doing that, but Orion's arc simply did not move fast enough, leading him to end up feeling a bit static while D-16 steamrolled ahead.
To adjust him, all I would want to see is for Orion to be shown having a more solid reason for his goals. Instead of just wanting to help, perhaps have him witness a hint of the mess on the surface at some point in his youth. Maybe he could mention it to D-16, saying that when he was newly forged, he either witnessed a record or saw a peek of the surface or perhaps some other Quintesson related thing to get him to feel a degree of investment in trying to help. Maybe he found the surface lovely and wanted to travel there. Maybe he heard legends of the Primes and particularly wanted to see them and make sure that they really had fallen. He either needed to show a level of devotion to the cause to match D-16's love for Sentinel and Megatronus Prime, or he needed to be skeptical. I would have loved to see Orion doubt, simply because no bodies of the Primes were ever recovered and old records did not mention the Matrix passing on (or perhaps he is skeptical in general). Whatever the case, giving Orion this foundational skepticism or believe would have allowed him to be more compelling when the truth was revealed.
Then, to match D-16 character arc, Orion should have started to try and take a commanding position earlier. Perhaps he could feel just as betrayed and angry, but instead of being more passive like in the film, his anger could instead be directed as the Quintessons who allowed things to happen as they did. Maybe Orion could feel loyalty toward his people as a whole, making him want to do things correctly and rally his kind together for the sole purpose of ensuring no other could ever enslave them, directly contrasting D-16 who was off to kill Sentinel for arguably more personal reasons. Making Orion care more about the people as a whole, knowing that they have all suffered under the threat that is the Quintessons, all the while D-16 cared more for his specific group of fellows... yeah it would have been delightful. Just, having Orion focus more on the bigger picture as the movie progressed, leading him to maybe mistreat D-16 a bit in his haste to spread the truth rather than get rid of the source of the problem. This way both Orion and D-16 could be given depth, since arguably, both are right in their approaches.
These are, of course, vague edits. And much like D-16, there isn't a ton I would change for Orion. He just needed more time on screen, and more opportunities to be presented with moral challenge and/or chances to lead.
"The line between friend and enemy is not as clear as I once believed. Once it's crossed, there's no going back, because some transformations, are permanent."
D-16/Megatron:
D-16, and later Megatron, was by far the best developed character in the entire movie. A very good thing considering the film is his origin moreso than anyone else's. He had the most growth to go through, and my goodness he went through it fantastically. He started off somewhat meek, mild tempered, and cheerful. He was a normal bot, one just happy to go about his life and enjoy his few passions as an average civilian. But as the film progressed, his character shifted from one of fun and adventure to anger and betrayal. One lie after another stacked up, slowly breaking down his innocent belief in everything he held dear until he had nothing left to stand on. All he could do was direct his anger at something, lest he lose himself entirely. His reasons were all justified, and you could see the way his morality shifted between "I want him in chains" to "you need to get out of my way, before I move you myself." and it was brilliant. Everything about his arc was well formulated, at least regarding showing his shift in character.
All I would have changed is the rate at which he changed. It was very fast paced. And from what I gather, occurred over the course of maybe a day or two. Crimes of passion are a thing, and some change really does happen that quickly, but D-16 needed at least a few more scenes of moral debate. Perhaps a scene in the beginning where he makes a simple choice that Orion's agrees with and then a very similar scene later where he goes directly against his previous choice. He should have been shown arguing with Orion more as the film progressed, and over more and more serious matters. Perhaps it starts with the map, but as time goes on, it starts edging into who to kill, who to suppress, what path to take in laying siege to Iacon, etc. That way D-16 moral shift can come a bit more naturally when he finally beats the snot out of Starscream and later kills Sentinel with no remorse.
D-16, and later Megatron, is a delightful character. There is very little I would change for him. Above all else, he needed more time on screen to shine, and I think that's the best possible critique there could be for a character.
"The age of Primes has ended. No more false Prophets. Follow me, you will never again be deceived! Rise up!"
Elita-One:
Elita-One is the worst offender in the entire film when it comes to horrible character. Where others lacked personality, she got far too much and absolutely zero development for it. She came in arrogant and came out just as if not more so. Obviously, the creators were aiming for her to be a foil for the boys, trying to make her into a more stable and commanding counterpart to Orion's, and later D-16's, rebellious nature. But her extreme arrogance, snarky attitude, and little to no love for anyone else made her presence grating. There wasn't enough of a relationship between her and the boys for me to see her in a more familial light for them, nor was there enough of an indicator of rivalry for her viciousness to not be annoying in its presentation. She was mean, bitter, and overall a pain throughout the entire film. And while there were reasons for those traits to be presented initially, they were obtrusive and took away from the film since they were never again addressed or given proper conclusion. Elita-One had no character growth, and as such, she leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Her relationship with Orion in particular was agitating. She had a backstory at least, and it did contribute to her character, but it didn't help to differentiate her a ton or warrant her arrogance, unfortunately.
Elita-One needed a reason to be so confident in herself that was visible to the audience, not just her forcing her crew to repeat her greatness. Arrogance can be done well, as seen with Starscream and Knockout in TFP, but Elita's just came off as annoying at the best of times. To adjust her character, I would have pre-established her relationship a bit differently. Instead of aiming to be supervisor, she should have been one already. To make her arrogance less annoying, she should have been shown as being affiliated with Orion before her demotion, perhaps as the one letting him get away with all his shenanigans. That way her arrogance plays off as her bantering and simply noting her station, and maybe she flaunts it around a bit, having Orion do her random favors since she won't go breaking protocol, but she knows he will. Their relationship could be one of mutual benefit, perhaps even hinting at Elita having used Orion's help to achieve her station at some point. That way they can be vaguely affiliated and their power dynamic can be somewhat equal since Orion offers a service and in turn, Elita covers his back when he decides to go and wander off.
If the creators wanted to go the ship baity route, or even just make Orion and Elita closer, it could be a thing where Elita was an old friend of Orion's who simply drifted apart after her rise to supervisor. Instead of being harsh with him during the mining scene, she could offer to speak later. Their entire dynamic could be that of ancient friendship, older than even Orion's and D-16 connection. Maybe they were in training together. Perhaps they were on the same mining crew for a while. Whatever the case, making Elita a bit nicer would go a long way, especially if she attempted to cover for Orion yet again after he broke protocol to save Jazz. She could try to cover for her old friend and be punished for it, making her less willing to help later in the movie when her aid is needed once more. Her character could go through serious growth because of this.
Additionally, if this were to be how her character played out, when she's brought to the surface, her lingering arrogance can be crushed like a grape in the unfamiliar environment. Where she once looked at Orion as a bit of a nuisance due to his habit of going places where he really shouldn't have been, she can now appreciate his skill and support him with her own. Maybe as a former supervisor, she's the only one who can read the map accurately, but for that same reason, she has very little skill in traversing the land and translating old indicators on the coordinates. That's where the boys could step in, helping and offering their skills and in turn showing Elita that while she's not the best and never will be, her skills are valuable when applied correctly, just as her companion's skills are as well. They could play off each other in a more meaningful way, helping Elita develop a healthy relationship with her companions and her ego. By the end of the movie, she could end up a bit more like Skybound or Earthspark Elita-One, confident and competent, but mature enough to know when to let someone else take the lead and when her job should be to play support.
She could even serve as a bit of an echo of Megatron, starting off where he ended. Anger, passion, and of course, arrogance. Then slowly she can learn to mellow a bit and apply herself in a far more productive manner. This could let her relate to D-16 as he starts to crumble, giving her more of a reason to be invested in him since as she improves, he starts to fall to pieces. There are many ways she could be played, but more importantly, she needs to be showed having actual chemistry with her companions and changing as a character into someone more mature. She's not a bad pick for a character, but she needed to be tempered, a lot.
"My point is, that your instincts tell you to break protocol for a reason."
B-127:
B-127 is a character that, on his own, doesn't really have a purpose being in the film at all. He's comedic and does show the beginnings of maturity in more serious moments, like when he and D-16 are captured. However, he lacks substance. He's fun, he's peppy, but it feels like a lot of the basis for his presence hinges on old and new fans recognizing his paintjob and knowing who he will become later down the line. He's a rather shallow character, which is not a necessarily bad trait since Sentinel pulled it off brilliantly. But since he is meant to be a main character in this film, I would have preferred he be given a more solid foundation. His actions are fine, his personality is acceptable, but he needed more to work with, a reason for his behavior if you will (since he can't exactly have a reputation to run with, being on sub-level 50).
I think the best way to have introduced him and given him a foundation would be to foreshadow the sub-levels. Perhaps have it be noted that bots go down a few levels and never come back, unfortunate miners who mess up one too many times. (maybe D-16 reminds Orion of this potential fate). Instead at staring at smelters, B-127 could be introduced as a scavenger. Rather than be down so many levels doing essentially nothing, perhaps show him weaving through discarded rubbish in huge heaps before they can be incinerated, taking bits and pieces that he likes. This way his random assortment of knowledge can make sense. It can explain his madness in a slightly more believable manner. Seriously, if B-127 knew how to get out, why wouldn't he leave at some point to seek out companions? Better it be that he's trapped, and now that he's got new companions, he feels totally fine accepting them and showing off his collection of trinkets since they are all prisoners together. He could state he's been down there for a very very long time, maybe making him the oldest out of the eventual group of four. This would explain why he has the plot device later, and if he shows off more confidential reading/viewing material he's collected, his knowledge base and animalistic fighting style make more sense.
It would give him a foundation as someone more feral, easily surprised, and excitable. It would give him unique skillsets, such as scavenging and self repair. If needed, he could even be the team's makeshift medic. Maybe B-127 could even have a broken T-cog instead of missing it altogether, showing that the practice of removing a cog was imperfect for a time, and since his removal failed, they disposed of him. Yet another hint of what is to come. His introduction scene would be about the same length too, since all that would change is the setting. It would also give all three time to bond since B-127 doesn't know how to escape, but has resources, which would allow D-16 and Orion to put their heads together to get them all out. It would also create a sense of loyalty for B-127, encouraging him to stay with the group. No changes need to be made to B-127's personality, just a shift in scenery.
"Are you serious? This is the greatest day of my life! I get to work for the government!"
Starscream:
Starscream's appearance in this film, much like Elita's presence, served little to no purpose. He existed purely to provide D-16 a chance to exercise his brutality and growing passion for rebellion. However, with what little time he had on screen, he presented an incredibly unique version of the character. Gone was the cowardly behavior seen in almost every single Starscream to have ever been produced. This Starscream appeared to be a highly competent character, willing to fight and die for his cause. He showed determination, energy not seen in any other Starscream. I can't exactly say he was the most intelligent character, a shame considering his station. But the embers of something more that he presented were fascinating, and in my opinion, a delight to witness.
I would have liked to have had his foreshadowed earlier. Personally, I think a great way to have hinted at his presence would have been to make him a bit of a martyr. He could have been blamed for the betrayal of the Primes, with Sentinel pinning their fall on the High Guard and Starscream in particular. That way, he could have been foreshadowed via D-16 absolutely hating him for his "betrayal" and also served to hint at the High Guard's power later. Additionally, if Sentinel made it so the High Guard looked like they'd sold out to the Quintessons, him going to the surface would be even more "Dangerous" since he'd be fighting "traitors". All the more for him to have lied above, and more to keep everyone off the surface.
Bonus if Starscream actively has a warrant out for him, as evidenced perhaps by chatter from background characters or maybe even Darkwing calling D-16 and Orion Pax "High Guard/Starscream sympathizers" for their rambunctious activity. Through this slight shift, Starscream's later appearance could be far more meaningful and make him an ally of note, especially if its mentioned that he and his people have been attacking energon trains for sustenance and to mess with Sentinel. Starscream's intelligence can be shown, as can his former ties to the Primes, all by adding a line or two depicting his presence.
"Two options for you! One, we slowly dismantle each of you one bolt and screw at a time, and really make sure you feel it. Or two, in exchange for a quick death, you give us intel on the energon trails, access to the mines, or anything else that could hurt your Boss, Sentinel Prime."
Soundwave: Soundwave can hardly be called a character in this film. He exists. That's about all he has going for him. He looks like a taco and has all the personality of one, that being none at all. There was so much potential for him, but he got a grand total of perhaps three lines before he became background noise. Jazz had more lines than Soundwave. Jazz, the cogless background character. We know nothing about Soundwave except the fact that he's with the High Guard and apparently important enough to have been in the records. No explanations regarding his abilities, no backstory, no reason behind his connections. Nothing. He's a familiar name for old fans to gawk at and does little else.
If Soundwave is going to be in a film, I feel like it is law for him to play at least a semi-important part. Even if I didn't know Soundwave from other continuities, he would still be seen as highly underutilized. Personally, I think he would have done so much better serving as an agent of Sentinel Prime who turned when he learned the truth. He could have been right at Sentinel's side whenever he was in the city, offering reports on other cities and their struggles to obtain energon but ultimately being waved off. This could help with the small setting feeling and give Soundwave character through his hesitance and concern for the rest of the population. It could be fascinating to see Soundwave loyally follow this Prime, despite his concerns, and then be betrayed with the knowledge that his world and his people have been enslaved by the one he thought was their savior. This way, he would have a very valid reason to hate Optimus when he comes into being, and consequently have a reasonable desire to join Megatron.
"Scanning electrical impulses: He speaks the truth."
Shockwave: Thankfully he's less of a taco. Unfortunately, he only has a bit more personality than Soundwave. We also know exactly nothing about him and he suffers from the same problems as Soundwave personality wise. We've got next to nothing to work with, not even a title. He also comes off as a bit of a potato since the very first thing he did when threatened by Elita of all bots was to bend the knee. It does tell us about him, but its not done tastefully and as it stands, Shockwave has the personality of a small child who got his favorite toy stolen from him.
Much like Soundwave, if one is going to use Shockwave, he has to at least have had some sort of impact in the past, if not the present. I would have liked to have seen him possibly have been the one who assisted in removing cogs from the newly forged. It is an essential part of their structure, so I imagine there is a certain degree of delicacy involved. Or barring that, why couldn't he have been the High Guard's medic or scientist and studied the process and uses of the Transformation Cog? That way, he would have a plethora of knowledge and be very invested in Sentinel's downfall since he knows the truth of the matter. Perhaps he feels guilty for having assisted. Maybe he was banished for trying to do too much. There are a thousand things that could be done with even a hint of such a backstory. Heck, maybe he could be the one to have a small mountain of cogs to offer cogless bots during the battle against Sentinel. Or if we want to maintain the emotional value of the bots fighting without their cogs, have Shockwave offer up images of piles upon piles of destroyed T-cogs or something for evidence. There is a lot of potential for him that was never realized, and all it would have taken is a line or two to establish him and his usefulness to the Decepticons later.
"He wouldn't stop talking."
Sentinel Prime:
Sentinel's character was, quite frankly, delightful. There were no redemptive qualities about him, and I personally found that to be perfect for his character. He was cruel, prideful, vicious, arrogant, and everything else I expected from a cliche villain. And yet, despite being cliche, his voice acting combined with his stable character portrayal always had me adoring how terrible he was. Whenever Sentinel came on screen, I was excited to see him because I knew how he was going to act, and I was thrilled to see it play out every time. I knew his personality, and yet how he went about his activities always exceeded my expectations. Personally, I adored how smug his dialogue was, right up until the very end of his life. It sold him as being the worst, even if he wasn't breaking any new ground with his character. Sometimes you just need a character who sucks as an individual. I appreciate that the movie was willing to make him irredeemable, unlike other iterations of Sentinel Prime who at least had a slightly non-selfish hidden motive somewhere in their backstory. There's nothing I would change about him, not in the slightest, at least not without adjusting the entire movie and rewriting it from the ground up. He fits. Simple as that.
"What truth? That I plucked your cogs from your newborn chests, forced you to mine so that I could pay off the Quintessons, and live like a King?"
Alpha Trion:
Alpha Trion was a fascinating character with so much potential history and lore attached to him. I am quite sad he didn't get more of a chance to shine, considering his past and his status as the last living Prime. He did serve his part in the movie, quite well might I add. But he could have had more. He was so very tired sounding, lost even. He seemed to care for our main cast and offered so much wisdom, and yet had so little time to actually impress it upon the main characters. He died with honor and what times he did have the chance to speak were well put together. However, I would have liked to see a bit more of him, personally. A bit more character, spice if you will.
I would have given at least one digit on my right hand to see him train our group of four, or at least begin guiding them back to Iacon so give them more time to talk. His presence could have accentuated the fallout between Orion and D-16, showing their shifting ideals when compared to the pure goal of Alpha Trion. Perhaps he could be the one to try and guide the group into working as a cohesive unit. And perhaps his slaughter could be one of those things that drives D-16 and Orion apart now that they no longer have a stabilizing force to keep them from arguing over what to do with their evidence. Honestly, I'm thinking something Uncle Ben combined with Uncle Iroh for Alpha Trion would have been a perfect way to introduce him, make use of him, and ultimately offline him in a meaningful manner. But again, time constraints are a real issue and I understand the problems the movie had giving everyone time to breathe.
"I failed you, old friend. You deserved so much better than this end."
Arachnid: She's a fascinating character who I personally would have loved to see more of. The times she turned up on screen were always noteworthy, and the fact that her intentions were largely unknown gave me a feeling like she was this movie's Soundwave. She didn't need too much development because her role in the movie was perfectly structured. She was Sentinel's right hand, his eyes and his hands. She is a perfect example of a character who doesn't need much exposition or backstory simply because she fulfills her role perfectly. We can make assumptions and still have room to speculate, but her character doesn't feel like a vacuum or like its missing some grand piece. Would I have appreciated a hint more for her thought? Yes.
Personally, I think hearing rumors of Sentinel's frightening right hand might have given her the final touch she needed to be a solid character in my book. Just some bots being in awe as she walks by with Sentinel, or perhaps Orion recognizing her from some old text from the archives. That way she could come onto the scene with a reputation. Or barring that, a sense of dread. That said, I did enjoy her introduction and I have no real critiques of her. The character is built well for the time she's on screen. I enjoyed her far more than I did Elita-One which should tell you all something. A girlboss character can be done well. Look at Arachnid and her combat prowess and intelligence. Elita was just a poorly done, slapped together attempt at giving our main cast flavor.
"I see everything."
That One Random Quintesson: It looked neat. Very intimidating in its own weird way. Certainly uncanny considering the metallic scenery. Could have used at least a line or two to sell the evil. I personally would have paid money for the Quint to talk in gibberish and for Sentinel to somehow understand because that would show just how long he'd been working for the Quintessons.
Jazz: We saw him a grand total of perhaps five times and I love him. No complaints. He's very Jazz and maintains his Jazz attitude throughout every single scene he turns up in. I especially love him during the scene where Orion rallies the cogless. He looks so confused and yet so happy later one when he gets his Transformation Cog.
"Little? There's nothing little about you."
Darkwing: DARKWING DUCK- I'm kidding. Darkwing's character had little to no depth, but he served perfectly fine considering his role in the movie. An aggressive enforcer of some variety, evidently high ranking enough to be in the Iacon 5000. He's got enough flavor to him that I'm sure someone in the fandom will decide he is their blorbo and run with it. He's not breaking any new ground, nor are his lines anything noteworthy. He simply is, and considering his role, it suites him.
"You are no cog bots with limited options. Report to waste management immediately."
Background Characters in General: Nothing really of note. They existed and served their purposes. I appreciated the fact that no two bots were the same appearance wise. It made Iacon feel more lived in, a trait desperately needed considering how small the world felt. Seeing so many familiar faces was fun.
The Plot
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(An assessment of the story overall & its holes.)
The plot was fantastic, at least with all the random unneeded scenes not considered.
There were quite a few themes present, most of which were at least touched upon. Honestly, the journey to discover the truth was a wonderful overall plot. I have very few complaints about the way the story set out. Two miners who, by accident, are cast away and gain an inkling of the truth. This in turn sending them on a quest to uncover said truth, only to have their worldview shattered. It's simple, and at the end of their road, their differing ideas regarding what to do with the truth are what drive them apart.
There are some things that don't add up, such as the time it takes the crew to actually get from Point A to Point B at any given part of the film. Time is a real issue in the movie. If we had only been given the illusion of more time passing, some of the pacing issues might have been less in our faces. Additionally, there are a few inconsistencies.
The boys being chucked down fifty sub levels because the plot needed it to happen. The plot device just happening to be there for reasons. How B-127 and the boys know how to get anywhere is beyond me. Elita being at the exact train they need to board at the exact right time is a bit off. The t-cog situation is interesting and I can't help but wonder how that whole mess really works. The High Guard popping out of the ground like cabbage patch kids. D-16 suddenly choosing to betray his best friend for reasons that were not given enough time to justify.
It's just a lot of smaller things that added up, when combined with the pacing, to create something a bit off. However, overall, the base story attempting to be told is very solid, only needing to be tweaked and refined to add further depth and give characters reasons to be there at all.
A very solid 7.5 - 8/10 movie when viewed overall.
The World Building
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(Current questions & Information + musings)
Cybertronians don't bleed, unlike other continuities.
I find this fact downright fascinating. When characters are killed, they don't bleed. TFP bled, pretty sure other continuities did as well. Except for G1 at any rate. It's an interesting take since energon appears to be a liquid, not crystal, on this new version of Cybertron. That leads me to believe that it must be pure energy since the moment it is taken in, it appears to go straight into powering the bot in question, rather than flowing through their veins. They are far more machine like, and I have had that fact grow on me a lot. Less alien, more mechanical.
The cogless had their cogs removed before coming online. Where are said cogs now?
It really is fascinating to think about. Sentinel had all of these T-cogs removed, presumably thousands upon thousands of them. I have to wonder, were they destroyed? Stored away in case on of the bots allowed to have their cogs needed a new one? If they were thrown away, how did no one notice or snag a few? There are many questions regarding how this big biological aspect of the cogless was kept from them.
Where are these bots forged? No Well of Allsparks was mentioned, at least to my memory.
It was stated that the first Primes came from Primus's core, which adds up since they are the closest this new continuity has to demi-gods. I would say that it would be likely that bots just clamber on out like the Primes did, but considering how fricking long that fall was for Orion, I have my doubts. Personally, I'm thinking this continuity probably is going the hotspot route where bots just kinda pop out of the ground in certain places. They obviously aren't climbing since they weren't online for their T-cogs to be removed. That leads me to believe that they likely form in hotspots and are cultivated until they are ready to come online. This would give Sentinel plenty of time to do a little removal all easy peasy.
Cycles are years. Days are days.
Interesting take on time, but ultimately kind of useless on its own. Lots of human time terms are used, so it seems cycles is just in there for alien factor. A unique take all the same though. I like it.
Primus is mentioned and acknowledged, but there is no mention of Unicron whatsoever.
It's really quite fascinating, but not particularly surprising considering the setting TF One takes place in. Many bots are uneducated, and with the fall of the Primes, it could very well be that no one knows about Unicron anymore because the threat he posed paled in comparison to the Quintessons. It could also be that Sentinel might have had any records about him removed in order to keep the population afraid of one threat, rather than many. It's not as thought Sentinel can deny Primus exists. But Unicron? Can't see it? No need to believe it. Still, it will be fun to see if Unicron ever comes up.
The war with the Quintessons is stated to have gone on for thousands of cycles, and yet there are few ruins. Just how devastating was it? How powerful are the Primes?
I am of the belief that long ago, Cybertron was an empire. There were cities everywhere and the surface was most likely covered in defenses. Most likely, the Quintessons whittled away at Cybertron's surface population, hence the war going on for so long and the people retreating underground into their creator's shell. The Primes appear to be powerful, but they were most likely scattered across the surface to try and limit the damage done by the enemy. The war was likely very close to be lost after millennia of being continually under siege when the Primes finally fell. In a sense, Sentinel likely did buy Cybertron time, but he also doomed them by destroying what history they had that might have helped them.
Are there other cities on Cybertron? There has to be, considering how large the planet is, but the offered energon to the Quintessons tells a different story. What happened?
We don't have enough information to make a good guess, but I personally believe, as stated above, that most cities were likely wiped out. Those who survived fled underground, meaning that most cities are either few and far between, or they are so sprawling that 'Iacon' encompasses far more area that we are led to believe. The offering of energon could have possibly been so small because it has been so long. Maybe, once upon a time, the offerings were far larger since more cities could bring energon in. It's hard to tell.
Is Cybertron in a post apocalyptic state?
I think so. Considering the ruins on the surface, the suppression of the masses, and the struggle to get energon, I do think that Cybertron is sitting in such a state when the movie is happening. The setting scene in Transformers One, and Iacon in particular, appear to be the last gasp of a dying race after what could have been a siege lasting up to thousands upon thousands of years.
T-cogs evidently have a certain amount of biological alteration involved in their acquisition.
This can be seen in Megatron when he takes Megatronus Prime's T-cog. Personally, I think this says something about the use of a T-cog. Some appear to be more suited toward combat whilst others have other uses. It appears to be Cybertron's version of the genetic lottery, since up until one gets a T-cog, it seems as though it is quite impossible to determine alt-mode or abilities. Look at Jazz. He didn't get his little door wings until after he got his T-cog. This has a lot of implications for T-cog inheritance too. Is that a thing that can happen? Does it affect various bots differently? Many many questions.
Does the T-cog have an effect on the mentality of those who inherit it? Was Alpha Trion aware of this when he chose which T-cogs to give to the crew?
I honestly think it's impossible to know at the moment. We don't have enough lore to make a solid assessment. But I would like to think it at least has some effect on the bot in question when they get a T-cog that was not originally theirs. Again, look at Megatron. Maybe Alpha Trion selected the Primes with the most adaptability for a reason. Perhaps some of those latent traits present themselves in their new wielders. I don't know, but I would very much like to.
Cogless bots are essentially children.
They are smaller, slower, and from the looks of it, less liable to fight against those larger than them (although that could just be common sense.) They don't appear to be less intelligent or anything, but I do imagine the T-cog is a sort of wakeup protocol for bots. It diversifies them, allowing for specialization. So yeah, from the looks of things, they might as well be children frame wise.
No noticeable spark chambers. Instead, we have the slot for T-cogs.
I find it downright fascinating that instead of having a way to expose their sparks, the TF One bots instead expose their slot for their T-cog. There's not a ton I can gather from this lore except for the fact that this must mean sparks are likely farther into the frame and more protected, and like a human heart, probably not meant to be seen.
(Also the smut writers are going to have to get creative)
There are different Primes this time around. Still Thirteen of them, but a few old and new faces from various continuities.
I have no clue what it implies for the most part, but from the looks of it, we aren't going to have an IDW/TFP Arisen any time soon. All the Primes are named, have faces, and are confirmed to be dead. There's no mystery here about some secret resurrection Prime goofing around in the background. I like it personally, even if it does limit the more mythological aspects that could be present in this new continuity.
There don't appear to be any sort of familiar or mentor-mentee social structures on Cybertron. We also don't see anyone who acts young enough to possibly be newly forged. Does this mean everyone comes online with basic knowledge? Or are they put through bootcamp before even entering society?
Again, I'm thinking the bots are raised like cabbage patch kids, grown and watched over wherever they form until they come online. Then, most likely, the cogless just kinda figure it out, IDW style. Same goes for the rest of the population.
How are the cogless selected for their fate? Is it random since Sentinel removed their T-cogs before they even came online?
It's a good question that I would like the answer to. Most likely, it's a numbers game. Special traits don't appear to present until a bot gets their alt-mode, leading me to believe that the cogless are selected based purely off how many miners are needed at the time.
D-16 gained a weapon via being angry. Do all bots have that? Is it a stress response? Or is D-16 special like that?
Again, the T-cog question. It feels like it's related to biology somehow, but I don't have enough info to make a solid guess.
The Matrix is referred to as an entity. Why is that?
No bloody clue but I really hope the dang thing talks or has some sort of unique ability aside from being an extra battery that gives Optimus a really cool axe.
The bots have eyelids and tongues.
It makes sense that they have them. I just think it's neat.
Some bots have real names. Other do not.
I have no clue what this implies, but I am running under the assumption that there is either a criteria to meet to get a name, or bots just pick their names and roll with it.
The Ending + Implications
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(How I think things will go from here in future films.)
The ending scene was ridiculous and felt chucked in there above all else (note: I am referring to everything after the t-cogs are distributed). However, it did offer a hint of insight into what is coming in the future.
Based on what Transformers One presented, and the fact that it has been stated that it will (if all goes well) be part of a trilogy, I have a few predictions for the coming films. Of course this is all speculation because the movie ended on a rather open ended note without much foreshadowing for what is to come, at least on the surface. So take this as my musings above all else.
Firstly, the Quintessons are going to be removed or otherwise sidelined as a threat. Optimus's line regarding the Quintessons at the end of the film leads me to believe that they were more of a plot device than anything else, and I expect them to become even less prominent going forward. I simply cannot see them being the BBEG of the trilogy considering the layout of the movie. Although it is very possible that they could serve as a minor antagonist to push the war along in later films.
If things continue as they are and the creators keep to the origin story vibe, then I see the second movie as likely focusing heavily on the war and its rapid fall into sheer chaos. I expect it to be fast paced, just like Transformers One. So quite likely, it will be a series of battles, schemes, and Megatron marching his armies while Optimus desperately tries to rally his people and fight back.
The second movie will probably be split between Autobot and Decepticon perspectives, Avengers Civil War style if I had to guess.
We will likely see Megatron gathering troops and capturing territory while Optimus fortifies what land Sentinel previously controlled in order to try and limit conflict (and promptly fail).
Optimus will go through some arc or another that gets him to fight seriously, but considering this is Optimus, he is probable to maintain his attitude of 'I can fix him' at least to an extent. Although, considering how he sent Megatron away, we may be surprised going forward.
We are going to be introduced to key Autobot and Decepticon characters throughout the second movie. Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Arcee, and others. Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, and the rest will likely get actual development.
There will probably be at least one peace talk that goes south the instant Optimus dares to breathe in Megatron's general direction.
Elita is bound to get more screen time than she deserves.
Bumblebee will earn his name and either have his voice taken from him, or he will end up forcefully silenced through some other means, perhaps a vow or trauma. Depends on how mature the creators want to make him in the future.
Megatron will probably end up seeing Orion as having died in some capacity, either that, or he will see everything Optimus stands for as a betrayal of their shared history and a insult to the suffering of the cogless.
The third movie will likely end with both factions abandoning Cybertron during a great exodus (if they are trying to follow G1/comic canon vaguely.) I simply don't see the films moving to Earth since that's been seriously overused over the past twenty or so years.
I anticipate the introduction and or the alteration of previously well known characters throughout all the films. Since the creators have been willing to adjust the origin as much as they have, nothing is off the table.
Those are all the predictions I can make at the moment considering there has been very little to work with foreshadowing wise.
My Suggested Adjustments
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(My thoughts for an ideal TF One which stays within the time limit, keeps to the established plot & acknowledges the future existence of more films.)
Now, again, before I begin my edit rant, I will try my very best to keep to the plot of the film and not go off track. I will be offering edits, not a rewrite (yet). Also, most of this is just musing and things I would like to see, not professional writing. Take with a grain of salt. That said, here's what I would adjust.
I would add a few lines of dialogue during D-16 and Orion's chat on the train to hint at Orion having a fascination with the surface and/or skeptic attitude toward what they've been told backed with a desire to check things out for himself. This would be just to build a little extra character. Additionally, during their chat, D-16 can remind Orion that the surface is dangerous not only because of the Quints, but because the traitors are up there. The wild High Guard, now gone mad. Orion can wave him off, stating he's not going to become like Starscream before moving onto his discussion about how he has a feeling like he's meant for something greater. The conversation can then continue as normal.
Remove Elita from the mining scene in the beginning. Have someone like Ironhide be the team leader so that his gruff personality can really drive home just how dangerous their job is before they even get started. Instead of Elita's rant, Ironhide can again remind his group about the risks of their work and maybe even discuss how someone got his or her lower half crushed in the last tunnel collapse. The group can then rush to get to work, with D-16 and Orion being all buddy buddy about it. D-16 and Orion can greet a few of their fellows, maybe assisting a bit in order to bring in more familiar faces. A brief pause can occur for Elita to look down on the group from her position overseeing things. She and Orion can share a brief look/nod/salute/gesture that D-16 can then mock and Orion can use to remind his brother in arms that Elita is an old friend, nothing more thing less. Elita can then call down, ordering them to get a move on before they get in trouble. Ironhide can then get the group hustling into the tunnel. This would solidify Elita's place of power while also introducing other characters and the harshness of the work.
The mining scene can go on as usual, but when the rescue happens, Elita can jump down and order Orion and D-16 back, maybe yelling something like: "Pax, D-16, pull back! I won't ruin my record with three deaths in one day!" in order to cement her deep care for her position. And once they make it out safely, Elita can check Jazz over for a moment before getting in Orion's face, D-16 probably trying to not be involved. There they can share some dialogue that shows Elita's exasperation with him, but also her fondness. Perhaps something like this:
"How many times have we done this Orion? I can't keep letting you break protocol!"
"Even to save a few lives?"
"We are miners. Danger is part of the job. Your recklessness is a liability."
"Even though it saved you from that tunnel collapse last cycle?"
"That is beside the point Orion, and you know it. You really need to develop some self-preservation skills."
Then of course Darkwing can jump down and fire Elita, only this time instead of being as sudden as it was in the original TF One, Elita can instead be fired for letting Orion and D-16 off yet again AND sustaining an injury to her team (RIP Jazz's leg). She can fight back, saying that lives were saved despite the breech of protocol. Darkwing can then shoot her down again even when Orion steps up to try and take the blame. This way, Elita can have the final straw moment with Orion, her expression being bitter as she has her rank badge ripped off. Her dialogue with Darkwing can hint that this is not the first time she's let things slide, hence the demotion. She can look at Orion and D-16 in sheer anger, shaking with rage as she murmurs about how hard she worked for this position before shoving past both of them. This would make her less agitating as a character but still give her ample room for snark and anger while maintaining a connection to our main cast.
When Sentinel gives his message to the people, D-16 can get just as excited TF One canon, but Orion can be a bit skeptical. The scene with Elita can influence him, making whatever skeptical nature he'd developed all the more real. Perhaps, as a bonus, Sentinel mentions that the winner of this race will get to request something from him/get a new rank. Seeing this, Orion will then want to get in both to try and prove a point, and to hopefully make it so that he can get himself and those closest to him to a high enough rank to make a difference. His hope could be that if they won, he could request better oversight in the mines and a chance to show their grievances. D-16 can still, of course, not want to be involved when Orion implores him to try and be something greater.
The race scene can stay as is, only changing to show Soundwave AND Arachnid by Sentinel's side. But when the duo are in the med bay, Ratchet can come by to fix these two idiots up. Instead of being cogless, he can be one of the higher ranked bots and perhaps serve Sentinel personally. While Orion and D-16 have their little banter session, he can work on them and probably tell them to shut up before the Prime arrives. Perhaps he also comments on their poor repair, wondering if the mines have medics. D-16 and Orion can state that they do not, earning Ratchet's anger since he assumed they at least had basic health care. Maybe he even tells them to watch their mouths, or perhaps praising them for their stupidity and being mildly in awe of it. This could set him up as an ally later.
The discussion with Sentinel can go as it does in canon, but when he leaves with Arachnid, it can be Soundwave who is ordered to 'remove' them. Soundwave can hesitate, looking at the duo and then at Ratchet would could try to object since he would know what is coming. Soundwave, ever the loyal aid to his Prime, could then call Darkwing in to take D-16 and Orion to their fate. Soundwave can even look genuinely upset at the scene, his fists all clenched up as the duo cry out in confusion. Ratchet can curse, and the scene can end with our two heroes being thrown down to sub-level fifty where no one without an alt mode with wings can escape.
Down in sub-level fifty, it can be a horror show. A huge set of incinerators where huge conveyor belts are transporting waste to the fires without end. Maybe there are even a handful of bodies amongst the mix, miners and other cogless. D-16 can continue to believe it must have been some huge mixup, perhaps getting all angry about it before B-127 appears from the rubbish, looking terrifying and scuttling over to them. He can get all up in their faces, maybe touching them to ensure they are in fact alive before his mask lifts and he goes right into being himself. He can have his nickname moment, but it can be mixed in with him showing the duo around the fires, giving them some warnings like:
"Don't mess with the bodies, those tend to be infected."
"Watch where you step! Don't want to miss energon by accident. It's rare down here!"
"With you two here, I won't have to worry about accidentally ending up on the conveyors while recharging!"
B-127 can ramble for a bit, much to our duo's horror. Then he can show them his makeshift residence, made of trash and other things. Inside can be all sorts of wacky things, including STEVE. As he's showing off his collection and gleefully pointing out things from various cities he's found, D-16 can marvel at a few of the older wartime relics Bee has and Orion can sift through Bee's stack of random reading and viewing material. As D-16 tries to smile through B-127's eager explanations of how he found things, Orion can note the symbol of the Primes on one of the small disks B-127 has. Bee can notice and exclaim how he found it on the body of someone from the High Guard forever ago. At that, D-16 can recoil, but Orion can turn the disk on.
The message can be revealed as normal, and again, Orion can convince D-16 to go despite the threat. Being trapped underground, they decide to give it a shot. B-127 sadly points out that he's been down in the sublevels for actual cycles and he's never been able to get out, not without a T-cog. At this point, he can show off his damaged T-cog, taking it from one of his shelves for all to see. The duo can be quite confused as Bee states that he came online with it broken, mentioning how he felt someone trying to mess with it before he was thrown into the sublevels. Orion's suspicions can grow, D-16 can become more adamant that something OTHER than Sentinel is going on here, and from there, they can use B-127's things and tools to work their way out. Perhaps they construct a grappling gun, or otherwise use old material to tower their way up to a vent on the far wall. D-16 can undo all the screws with some difficulty as the conveyor belts below them threaten to drag them into the fires. But with time, they can quickly crawl their way out, perhaps with D-16 grabbing Bee before he can fall back into the rubble below.
From there, Orion can use his knowledge of all things underhanded to begin guiding them up toward the surface. D-16 can add his input by feeling for wind currents and whatnot. All the while, B-127 can tell them he's heard of a train depot nearby, considering maps and other things that fell into the rubble with him + shaking over head occasionally.
Once they get to the depot, they can try to join the masses of miners loading up the train carts. Attempting to blend in, they grab grates and try to move quietly and just, not emerge from the train once they get on it since they know its heading to the surface. But as they are waiting to load, they encounter Elita. She engages with them, attempting to stop them as a form of retribution and even arguing that she's saved their hides one too many times. Orion, despite his respect for her, pushing his group on. They push past Elita, discarding stealth in favor of leaping into the train before it can take off. Elita, still upset and desperate to stop them from causing more harm, throws herself in after them with the intent to stop them. The doors close before she can, and in anger, she pauses, and books it toward the front of the train to try and halt it. Being smaller and nimble, she dodges attempts to grab at her, even knocking a crate over which hits Orion. As they make it to the surface of the train, D-16 and Orion lag behind, but B-127 manages to slow Elita down by grabbing her leg long enough for Orion to also pull himself up and grab her arm before she can hit them.
Then the traintop scene can play out as normal.
Once they are thrown to the ground, Elita can still get up in Orion's face, but instead of losing her cool, she can instead grab him, take a few breathes, and say something along the lines of this:
"Orion, since they day we met, you've been a thorn in my side. Always getting me intro trouble whenever you decide to run off with your go-bot buddies and make a scene."
"I know. And I'm sorry. But this... this is beyond any of that. We could find the Matrix, Elita. We could do what Sentinel hasn't been able to. We can save our home."
"And that is the only reason I haven't tried to punch you yet, Pax. But if this mission of yours fails, if this is all some grand hoax, I'm taking you and your pals back to Iacon and getting my rank returned to me."
"That's fine, because I quite firmly believe that this is the real deal."
"It better be, or you can bet your bolts I'm never going to let you live this down."
"I wouldn't expect anything else."
Orion and Elita share a moment of reconciliation before they both look over the map together. Leaning on each other for support as they follow the coordinates. All the while, D-16 and B-127 comment on the scenery, and helping their group avoid various hazards. D-16 might even note how there aren't an High Guard rebels, a fact that leaves him suspicious, especially as the group passes through increasingly frequent ruins, all inhabited by the bodies of bots who bear the symbol of the High Guard, or the long dismantled old Cybertronian army. D-16 might even see how it seems as though a few of the High Guard were actively trying to defend civilians, as evidenced by the bodies. This leaves him thoughtful, less angry.
There should be a few flashes of the group taking cover as strange creatures move on the surface. B-127 can pause to gather up some abandoned weaponry from an old base, earning commentary from Elita-One about how she never knew they once had so many cities on the surface. It should be a somewhat solemn march, and as they go, they can practice with their haphazard firearms by shooting as various targets to acquire what energon they can and to scare off random creatures. Orion notes the cities they pass through, listing off names he's read in the archives and being saddened by the fact that they lost so much. D-16 becomes more and more upset as they go, seeing the bodies and wondering why Sentinel hasn't recollected abandoned resources or otherwise given the dead a bit of respect in light of the fact that they haven't seen a single enemy so far.
The scene running from the Quintesson scanner can continue as normal, and the group can rush to the cave as they watch the huge ship loom overhead. The cave scene can also continue as normal, only this time, the group can be even more distraught since they've seen the remnants of their old empire and already have doubts. Awakening Alpha Trion can go as normal, as can Sentinel's discussion with the Quintessons.
D-16 and Orion can get into a slightly more heated debate than normal when they return. Orion exclaims his desire to have the people get their justice, making sure everyone knows their loss. D-16 can agree, but their argument can occur when Orion makes it clear that the people come before getting revenge on Sentinel. This does not go over well with D-16, and although Elita and B-127 attempt to step in, Orion and D-16 begin to argue more furiously until at last, Alpha Trion steps up and pushes them apart gently. Probably saying something like:
"Primus has a plan for all his creations. Do not judge too quickly, instead, act with wisdom and foresight."
Trion can offer the values of his fallen brethren, encouraging D-16 to act as Megatronus Prime would, as a guardian of the people, their voice and their sword. In turn, he can urge Orion to follow after Prima or Zeta, telling him to use his noble spark to be a voice of reason. He might turn to the Elita and B-127, but then he notes that they are low on time. From here, Trion can give the group the T-cogs of the fallen Primes and hurriedly usher them out as Arachnid draws near. The escape progresses as normal, and Orion and D-16 again have their debate. Orion stands his ground a bit longer, showing a hint of anger. But remembering Alpha Trion's words, he consoles himself and D-16 by stating that he trusts D-16, which in turn diffuses the tension.
The group can move quietly, with Elita being solemn and B-127 a bit shaken up. Orion and D-16 discuss what they plan to do as Elita watches for enemy units and B-127 hurries ahead to scout. As they talk, it becomes clear that Orion wants to rally the people and spread the truth first and foremost. Meanwhile, D-16 wants to strike hard and fast, a tactful assault meant to end Sentinel. They can worry about the truth later in his mind. They argue for a while, and as they fight, Orion can get a bit aggressive, leading D-16 to push him. As they tussle, they end up tumbling, and despite both B-127 and Elita telling them to shush and trying to pry them apart, the group are unable to evade the High Guard soldiers that surround them. they aren't given a chance to fight back before Shockwave orders their capture.
The scene with Sentinel and Alpha Trion can go as normal.
The group can wake to Shockwave assessing them, noting that their T-cogs are not biologically theirs. He finds this interesting, and since they are of interest, he prepares to remove said T-cogs/perform other surgeries to see if they are a new flavor of spy. D-16's fears are confirmed for a moment, up until Skywarp and Thundercracker stop him, ordering Shockwave to bring the prisoners to Starscream. The name rattles the group, causing them all to bunch up in momentary fear. But when they are brought before him, Starscream looks at them all in intrigue. He questions them, asking why they were on the surface at all since its essentially a barren wasteland. Shockwave points out their T-cogs, and Starscream finds it suspicious. Skywarp and Thundercracker guard the group, one with a gun to B-127's helm to keep him quiet.
Starscream steps before the group, scarred and battered, maybe even a little sickly looking from lack of energon. The rest of his soldiers aren't much better. He assesses the group before concluding that they aren't spies, merely newbuilds who got too curious for their own good. Not wanting them to go back and spill the beans about the High Guard, Starscream offers them a place as soldiers in his ranks, confirming that they fought against Sentinel, not the Primes. He also makes it clear that he will require the group's information regarding energon, that being his major reason for keeping them at all.
At his point, D-16 can step up, angry and unwilling to serve another false prophet. He refuses to bow to a mech who fled, and then their battle goes on as normal. D-16 proceeds to hold Starscream captive, stopping Thundercracker and Skywarp, Starscream's lieutenants, from acting and ordering the rest to attack. He declares his desire to fight, to strike back against the enemy while they still can. He points out their weakness, their lack of energon, and describes his experiences in the mines. Knowing they served the Primes, D-16 repeats the tenants of Megatronus Prime taught to him by Alpha Trion, rallying the High Guard. The High Guard, seeing his passion, and after watching him beat down a few more bots eager to stop him, agree to follow his lead. Starscream is allowed to live, only because Orion steps up and grabs D-16's blaster. They have a moment of tension, but it fades as D-16 throws Orion off and declares that he knows the mines and can guide them in for an assault on Sentinel. The High Guard, having little to lose and finally having a chance to fight, are eager to serve.
Orion can then step up, upset that D-16 cares more about vengeance than the truth. D-16 states that they can share the truth later, once Sentinel is dead. Elita steps up to calm Orion, urging him to not be rash and compromise. B-127 attempts a similar method with D-16 and urging him to at least take time to plan. Orion and D-16 do not back down, and just as Orion asks for them to at least take time to discuss things, the attack from Arachnid occurs.
The battle goes as normal, but in its aftermath, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave remain, along with about half their troops. Elita tries to get Orion up and going, reminding him of how his nature has saved bots time and time again in the mines, and how his instincts brought them there, to their newfound truth. She comforts him with a quick hug, urging him to get back up now that they have information to spread and friends to save. Orion agrees, and speaks with Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave. He bargains temporary leadership by offering the same information D-16 had, the way into Iacon. The High Guard are hesitant, but they follow if only to have one final hit at Sentinel before their end. They are all sickly anyway, and Thundercracker can note that without Starscream, they don't have much motivation anyway.
The group can board up on a train that passes by, throwing out the crates and loading soldiers instead. Elita takes control of the bridge with the help of Shockwave who guides her through security protocols. When asked how he can do that, he simply states that he once served Sentinel, keeping it vague and maybe stating he was his head scientist at one point and that his credentials are still valid since he was assumed dead. It could be something like that. And Shockwave can get them past security without issue. Thundercracker and or Skywarp rally the troops as Orion leaps from the train, making his way toward the mines.
There, he can speak to his fellows. Covered in soot, grime, and ash, he can hold a gun given to him by Skywarp before his leap, and he can make his grand speech. There, the miners are hesitant even after being told the truth. But Ironhide and Jazz can step up, offering their belief and support. Seeing that, other faces from the mining scene earlier in the film come forward, willing to fight. Orion tells them to gather up their tools, to fight for their freedom, and from there, the miners also raise concerns about their wounds. At that point, Ratchet can step forward, stating that he can help. Orion is in awe, but is even more shocked when he gets word that Soundwave of all bots is offering aid and supplies. More soldiers join the miners, eager to fight. Ratchet can smile, picking up a pistol and declaring that he, Soundwave, and a few others have had enough of turning a blind eye to the injustices committed by Sentinel and his kind.
D-16's interaction with Sentinel goes as normal, although Starscream does pipe up along with B-127, attempting to save D-16 neck as he refuses to bow. After Sentinel carves the symbol and Arachnid points out their incoming enemies, the scene can shift to show cogless, not cogless, and High Guard soldiers alike all pouring onto the premises. Sentinel can demand to know why their defenses are lowered, turning to Soundwave in anger. Soundwave for his part can then betray Sentinel openly, showing his distaste and getting a solid punch in before he's thrown across the room. On the ground, Ironhide can be seen directing soldiers alongside a future Decepticon of choice, perhaps the Stunticons or Constructicons help him tear down some walls or other defenses. Ratchet can also be seen working with a few of the cogless and offering covering fire as Jazz and Prowl rush forward to get in a few potshots with their far too large weapons.
The battle progresses as normal, and Orion manages to get the truth out as per usual. The scenes shift to show bots all across the city swarming in anger, breaking things and fighting anything or anyone that looks like they might follow Sentinel. Elita and B-127 celebrate and Orion orders them to go assist with controlling the assault in order to capture Sentinel's followers and limit the chaos. They agree and rush off, but Orion soon finds himself in the battle with D-16 and Sentinel.
The Fall goes as normal, only having a bit more aggression on Orion's part as he pleads with his best friend, begging him to at least wait until the people can judge Sentinel themselves. They are fighting for freedom of choice, and he tries to dissuade his friend for D-16's sake. Unfortunately, the Fall goes as planned, and D-16 lets Orion drop after he comes to the conclusion that it would be better for Orion to die here than to witness what he's going to do next. He may even tell Orion as such, calling it a mercy. Then, he lets him fall.
Megatron rises as normal, and Orion is brought to Primus's core. There he hears whispers, contrasting Megatron's speech. Orion hears the Primes speaking to him, each murmuring softly and quietly showing him visions of times gone by between him and D-16, a final goodbye of sorts. Then, it ends with the Matrix bestowed, and Optimus Prime is born as a chorus of voices calls his name. He rises to the surface as Megatron starts shooting at Elita and B-127, Soundwave joining him along with Starscream who covers his back. More future Decepticons rally around him, helping him in his rampage while the cogless and Ratchet try to limit the crossfire. It all ends as Optimus Prime comes forth.
Their battle can then progress as normal, with Megatron being banished. Optimus can still be sorrowful, but something hardens in his gaze as he turns away from where Megatron fled. He had his moment to let go when he took the Matrix, and now he's ready for war. He gathers his allies, looking over the devastation and up toward the surface. Elita comforts him quietly with a smile and a hand on his shoulder. B-127 notes Optimus's new height and points out the people below, the cogless all watching in awe. Elita encourages him to speak, and Optimus does just that, rallying his people one more time with encouragement and a declaration that they must move onward, to reclaim their freedom and their world.
He raises the Matrix high, and energon again flows. The people are thrilled, and soon they each begin to step closer to the streams of energon. The cogless lean close, and their T-cogs are returned to them. The movie closes with Optimus's narration about how their battle is not yet over, and how it has merely begun. All the while, Optimus is shown getting his people in line, Elita standing proudly by his side as he begins to organize his troops. Ratchet smiles and pats him on the shoulder, Ironhide flexes and picks up a blaster, Jazz gleefully flutters his door wings. The people salute and cheer as Optimus passes. The scene then changes to Megatron with the High Guard, rebuilding their destroyed ship. Megatron welcomes new recruits from Iacon into his ranks.
Everything ends with the two leaders looking up toward the surface, ending with Optimus overlooking their world and seeing a Quintesson ship flying away as he gives his closing narration.
This is roughly how I would adjust the movie, minus all the itty bittie things that would have to be brought up with the animators and voice actors. But plot wise, these are my adjustments. It would lay the groundwork for future films and also establish character lore early. So yeah, enjoy my take.
Arguments Against My Critiques
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(Q&A against Strawmen. More of a joke than anything else don't take it too seriously.)
The movie is aimed toward a younger audience. You shouldn't be so serious with your review.
The movie had Megatron quite literally tear a mech in half. On screen. No cuts. It also dealt with the slaughter of actual Primes and touched dark themes like slavery and the beginnings of an Orwellian society on Cybertron. Sure, it had jokes and gags aimed at younger audiences, but this film was created with so many Easter eggs and callbacks that I cannot find it in myself to believe the creators were aiming for a children's film. They made it for Transformers, a franchise forty years old. When messing with such an old franchise that has always touched delicate and serious themes throughout all its media, you have to consider old and new fans alike.
Thus, I feel no inclination to be nice in my assessment. This is a film that's trying to reach all Transformers fans, so I will assess it as a full and proper movie.
The studio only had 75 million dollars and a tight time limit for the film. Can't a few allowances for pacing issues be made?
No, no allowances cannot be made. A good piece of media should be able to stand on its own, and a well constructed film should be capable of cutting excess fat in order to keep the movie on track. Transformers One was trying to do the seemingly impossible by shoving an entire origin story in one film. While I think it was possible to have been done tastefully, as seen by the glorious scenes spread throughout the film, they failed to make the pacing make sense.
They had roughly and hour and forty minutes to make their story happen, and far too much of that time was spent on meaningless characters and scenes. If that time was reallocated, the film could have dealt with much of its pacing problems. It probably wouldn't fix everything considering the tight timeframe for such rich characters, but it was doable.
Additionally, 75 million is MORE than enough to make a quality film. I doubt funds were an issue here. Although they might be going forward.
Orion was in a state of shock and couldn't be expected to act perfectly considering the situation. And D-16 anger made perfect sense so there is no need to criticize them both so harshly.
I partially agree. I can't judge them too much because on their own, these traits of theirs are expected and in fact, good for their development. Unfortunately, due to the pacing, D-16's combustive rage and Orion's passiveness came off as rushed and somewhat childish on both Orion and D-16's side. I judge them harshly because their arcs feel like whiplash, or in Orion's case, unfinished. I'm willing to give D-16 a little room because his arc actually arced, it did its thing and finished in a convincing manner (disregarding the pacing). But Orion? Nah. I judge him and D-16 because they could have been so much more given TIME.
The plot wasn't that bad. The progression made sense on paper and each shift in the narrative led into the next scene without much trouble.
I'm sure it did! I really am! If I were writing a novel with this plot, it would make sense when blocked out! But the presentation of an idea is what defines it. Transformers One had a perfectly acceptable outline, I'm sure. But the pacing threw the entire thing into a blender and topped it with mustard and kale. Because of the pacing, the plot itself started to fall apart, especially with excess bloating in the form of unneeded scenes and characters. It's a shame since I'm certain that given enough time and proper progression, the jerky scene shifts could have been made spectacular.
The High Guard could have worked. They really could have. But they needed foreshadowing and time. The same goes for a lot of things in Transformers One.
Why are you so harsh with Elita-One? She finally got some spotlight and had a chance to shine!
A shiny turd is still a turd. Next question.
You can't expect every background character to have depth or for there to be a thousand cities for the cast to traverse.
True enough! But to that, all I can say is: Environmental factors.
I don't need to see Kaon, Tarn, Helex, Uraya, Polyhex, Rodion, or any of the other cities seen in various Transformers lore to know they exist and feel the world is bigger (And if they don't exist in TF One then it would be a great hint at the horrors inflicted by the Quints to state that there are no other cities anymore). All it would have taken was a bit of background lore and attention to detail to make me and other viewers feel like there's more to Cybertron than a cave, a field, and a city. A few posters on the walls, some background chatter from side characters, maybe even Bumblebee mimicking various accents from around Cybertron since he's meant to be comic relief. Heck, just show various flashes of bots in other cities being shooketh during the big reveal with Sentinel and suddenly the world feels so much more lived in.
And for characters? I don't need Soundwave's entire biography to feel he's rich. Look at Arachnid. I know next to nothing about her but she feels alive. All the side characters needed were important side roles and a few actions worthy of note. Think of TFP Soundwave who hardly ever centered but was always there. Always doing something to assist the main story. It really shouldn't be that hard to make a world feel alive. Just attention to detail.
Why does the voice actor for Orion/Optimus matter so much? What's the point in focusing so much on it?
It matters because there is a distinct change between Orion Pax and Optimus Prime. Frankly, you could have anyone be Orion because Orion is the origin. But when it comes time for him to grow, to become more? That's when its time to put on a warface and give Optimus Prime a voice that matches the name. Optimus Prime isn't just a name, it's a title, it's a long string of powerful characters each showcasing empathy and strength in equal measure. If Optimus's voice is not distinctive or powerful, his resonance as a character is seriously damaged. Now why don't I share this opinion for Megatron? Because Megatron doesn't have a frickin relic in his chest. Megatron is a voice for the people. Megatron is the embodiment of strife and anguish. His rage and his passion is what gives him distinction, not necessarily the commanding tone of his voice.
It's a difference in character that makes me care so much about the voices for Orion Pax and Optimus Prime so much.
Why bother with such a long review at all?
Because Transformers One is the first not-garbage to come out in over a decade. (No, I do not like Earthspark. That's a whole other animal and I don't think I'd have the willpower to actually watch the thing again for a review of this length.)
I want to give this film the respect it deserves by showing my every thought for it. I want to show people that despite all its good and bad features, its still something to think about and acknowledge. I don't want something this groundbreaking for our beloved franchise to go down the drain because people were too apathetic to care or too blinded by new content to use their brains and help develop better things going forward.
Final Note
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(Best film ever? No. Great addition to the Transformers Franchise? Yes.)
Transformers One was a masterclass in setting a scene and establishing relationships. Everything in the first ten to fifteen minutes of film was brilliant in regards to setting up the world and our main characters. Even if I weren't a Transformers fan, I would care about the brotherhood between Orion and D-16, or at least understand it. The visuals were stunning but not too intrusive and the film was clearly made with love. The characters that were given screen time were fleshed out as much as they could be considering the constraints. And while a great many things were very out of place and made no sense logically, at least within the rapid fire time frame that is the film, the overall movie was enjoyable right up until the meeting with the High Guard, at which point things became a bit contrived.
The plot was whack considering the film's short run time. Some things were very janky. The Quintessons weren't shown nearly enough or given sufficient presence. But again, lots of this was just a side effect of not having enough time to get things rolling slowly and properly as they should have been. It was a kick back, binge on popcorn, and scream at Easter eggs type movie.
If you want something colorful to look at and a half decent set of characters to enjoy, go right on ahead and watch TF One. You certainly won't rot braincells like you would watching some of the Bay films, but I can't in good concious say that TF One is better than older things like Prime. It is a brilliant concept that needed more time. It needed probably a two and a half to three hour runtime to set up, to get the ball rolling in a meaningful manner, and to establish the broken friendships and rivalries in a far more intimate manner. The concepts are lovely, the scenes are well done, but its a pity that it was cut so short and so many things were shoved together when they could have shone on their own in the proper setting.
There was so much there, and yet so much missing. So many pieces that fit well and yet so much more that was cast aside altogether. It is an imperfect thing, but this movie isn't a bad introduction or addition to the Transformers franchise, not in the slightest. Its a new start, a chance to make things better for this fandom and its abysmal run of bad movie after bad movie developed in Bay explosion style topped with far too much emphasis on humanity.
I believe that while TF One isn't going to be my personal favorite, or even the next big thing for the time being, it sets a new standard. No longer can we be fed garbage, because now we've been given a chance to look at something better. Hopefully, TF One will set the groundwork and foundation for far better films and shows going forward, giving this fandom new life and redeeming our sullied name as the big explosion robot fanatics.
TF One is flawed, but its a start. It's a fledgling attempt to make something new and interesting in a show business that is dead set on killing creativity and squashing anything of quality in an attempt to press an ideology. It is the baby steps shown by people who care. People who want to see the movies they never got. I will not fault it or the creators for existing. It may not be Lord of the Rings, War for Cybertron, Transformers Prime, the comics, or other big names, but it is a hope for the future.
It's not a bad movie. It was simply born in a bad time.
With that said, I'd recommend watching it at least once, if only to get a glimpse of what we have gotten and to have hope for what we might get going forward. I certainly intend to fill in holes with fanfiction, but that's just part of fandom, is it not? Enjoy this new piece of media, but don't take it too seriously. It's flawed just like everything else, but can be taken for what gifts it brings.
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"We could have built the future together."
"I'll build it myself, after I tear down everyone in my way."
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