#I have put more work and study into this than pretty much anything else for transformers

[lets-try-some-writing]

Transformers One: My Thoughts and Critiques

Note: This is going to be a very long read, so be prepared.

Before I begin my thoughts on the film, allow me to state beforehand that I will be looking at this film as a standalone film first and foremost. I will not be considering the fact that it is meant to be part of a trilogy until the end of my assessment because a good piece of media should be capable of standing on its own. With that said, minor allowances will be made because of this fact.

Additionally, I will not be applying any other continuity lore to this film review in order to limit my continuity bias (although I will make frequent comparisons). Please note that these are my thoughts and opinions and the fact that I even bothered to write more than a two sentence 'it sucked' with a wail of anguish tacked on means that the film has value. I am merely picky. Obviously, this will have a heavy does of my personal takes thrown in along with genuine analysis, so don't take my assessment as gospel.

From this point onwards, spoilers will be present. Read at your own risk.

The Good

(Me trying really really hard to not accidentally be negative.)

The visuals for Transformers One are, of course, stunning, and the voice acting, as a general rule, is very on point. Chris Hemsworth as Orion Pax and later, Optimus Prime, was a decent decision. I like his voice as Orion, but regarding Optimus? I have opinions that will be discussed later. But for the time being, his voice as Orion gives the character life, emotion, and a great deal of ethos. He's likable and interesting, giving him depth that we have not seen in any other Orion Pax since G1.

Megatron's voice actor was also incredibly well picked. The emotion and tone in his voice was undeniable and gave D-16, and later Megatron, such enthusiasm and vibrancy that I (and likely much of the audience) couldn't help but feel for him in many of his interactions and speeches. I loved hearing how his voice evolved as he went, slowly becoming more aggressive and deep. Elita-One was a reasonable pick when it came to voice actor. She certainly had tone and opinions. Bumblebee's voice actor was very entertaining when it came to giving the character development. Having Bumblebee with such a enthusiastic voice actor made him into someone who had far more depth than he likely would have otherwise.

Sentinel's voice actor was golden. He comes off just the way the movie needs him to be, and it is done quite tastefully, although it certainly doesn't break any molds when it comes to the cliche evil character arc. I adored Airachnid's voice acting. It fit her well and was a polite, but well earned shift from the snootiness seen in other continuities. She automatically has more depth simply because of her voice.

The worldbuilding for Transformers One was well done considering the time limits of the film and the focus that had to be given to other subject matters. There are many issues of course, but overall I cannot fault a single film for not having the length and depth of something like Prime or the IDW comics. The flora and fauna showcased were bright, and at least in the case of the flora, quite diverse. The designs for the few creatures showcased were interesting but not overwhelming, especially for the Quintessons. The shift from inorganic to organic was clear as day with their presence, and highlighted the love and care put into every single frame of the film. It was clear that there was real love shown to each character, movement, and scene. For once, the creators seemed to genuinely care about what they were doing.

The fight scenes were stunning. They flowed incredibly well and made excellent use of the environment and the biological aspects of fighters. The use of partial transformation and transformation in general was something I have never seen given such emphasis in a Transformers film or cartoon, not since Prime at any rate. It was done perfectly in my opinion, and showed an actual understanding of how the characters should move and likely would move in various combat situations.

Onto the actual film. The movie hops right into the action and we, the audience, are given a fantastic view into who Orion Pax is as a character. We see his longing to be something greater right off the bat, giving new fans a solid start for his character. Old fans are also given a nod to various continuities with his character design and his overall knowledge and interest in the archives tied with his station as a miner.

The design of Iacon was a fascinating shift from other continuities, that with everything being underground. And D-16's introduction was well integrated into the scene. His and Orion's friendship is masterfully done, and their interaction on the train gives amazing hints into their past, potential history, and creates interesting lore for an audience to ponder. Their relationship is by far one of the most important and intricate parts of the film. It is a masterclass in setting up a relationship prior to a film or story actually shoving two characters into a setting where more of their traits are showcased. Honestly, we can see so much about both of them from that first scene.

D-16 bailing Orion out of trouble quietly like its normal. Orion going through all the effort to give his friend something of value that is both personal and has money attached. Banter that showcases their depth and rich relationship that also flows smoothly and naturally, like old friends should. We get to see how Megatron will come into being through his adoration of Sentinel Prime and Megatronus Prime. His youthfulness combined with Orion's desire to see and experience everything brings out the best in both characters, giving them reason to be together and to get along.

I will never stop giving my praise for that first scene with D-16 and Orion since it was so tastefully done.

Their work in the mines is well directed and the introduction of Elita is... a thing. (thoughts later)

The lore presented in the mining operations is ingenious as it showcases both Cybertron's situation, lays the groundwork for the knowledge characters possess later in the film, and overall shows D-16 and Orion's hesitant heroism (at least on D-16's part) when they save Jazz from certain death. In some cases, the introduction of new information is masterfully done through the use of referencing demotions and promotions in a manner that applied to the situation in question. The lore regarding energon and the overall loyalty of the miners also demonstrates much of the mindset Cybertron is operating under and is done quite well, as seen with the cogless bots being totally fine with their lack of transformation ability for the most part.

Brilliantly done pre-set mindsets. Especially showcased with Sentinel's message to the cogless leaving them all in sheer awe and cheer. I could sense the villain a hundred yards away, but I could tell that the characters believed what they were hearing, and that in my opinion is a show of how well presented the mindsets of the characters and overall view of the society are.

The race was fun to watch, with plenty of spectacle. Orion and D-16's conversation pre-race showed more of their character and D-16's adherence to the rules vs Orion's desire for something more. Orion leading them through back roads into the race also added more depth to Orion's character which I adored (and was unfortunately underutilized). I appreciated the tricks pulled by Orion and D-16 to win. I also adored the brotherhood shown between them, especially how Orion went through the effort of giving D-16 his chance to be a hero, even if D-16 was hesitant. Their brotherhood in the beginning of the film was honestly one of the best highlights, and distracted me from many other things that I will discuss later that were less than optimal.

I loved seeing how excited D-16 was toward the end of the race, and of course how Orion stopped to help him. Their banter in what I assume was the medical bay was also enjoyable and laid further groundwork for D-16's character.

The scene with Sentinel congratulating D-16 and Orion Pax was suitably filled with awe and stiltedness in equal measure. It played well and showed D-16's character as well as Orion Pax's passion and drive. One thing I will not fault the film for is Orion's devotion to his goals. They were clear and remained so from the get-go along with D-16 admiration (right up until the fifty minute mark).

The meeting with B-127 was unique, and an interesting show into the madness that forms in those who are condemned to the bottom rungs of society, even though it was played for laughs. The introduction of the main plot device was something I have critiques regarding. Although, with that said, D-16 and B-127's reasonings for going were both done pretty well. I like how D-16's reason played off his character and previous history with Orion. Again, the brotherhood between them is key in this film.

The logical leap to get onto the trains was well done and also set up essential plot devices for later. Elita's presence was odd, but whatever.

The fight scene on the train and the rush to stop Elita from telling on all of them was well played for the most part. Her anger made sense and her snark didn't exactly come from nowhere. Her taking of the map made reasonable sense (although I have opinions). B-127 is vaguely humorous at times during their journey, which I can appreciate in small doses. (His cave comment got a vague chuckle out of me.)

The introduction of the Quintessons was well placed in light of the future scene with Sentinel. I loved our main characters maneuvering to avoid detection as it showed their cooperation as a team for the most part. Orion's knowledge of the Quintessons made sense in light of the very first scene in the film (again, it was an excellent start to the movie and laid a lot of groundwork).

There were a few scenes in this film that really kicked me in the feels, and the moment the group enter the cave and find the bodies of the dead Primes is one of those moments. The scene is solemn, not a hint of snark or banter to be found. Everyone is lamenting, thinking. The atmosphere was perfect, and the sheer emotion from D-16 in particular was delightful in its own quiet way. The way he sat before Megatronus Prime was emotional. For once in the rapid fire mess that is TF One, time was taken to let everything sink in. You can see a quiet shift in him, and in Orion there is something that makes the audience note how lost he appears. Elita and B-127 only added to the scene as their usual lines died off, letting the scene simply breathe. It was, in my opinion, very well done. Especially with the music running softly in the background.

Their worldview was shattered in that cave, and I adored seeing it play out.

Alpha Trion's character was done well, very well considering how short of a chance he had to be on screen. He showed proper confusion, but then moved along once he noted the situation. There are things I would change obviously, but his character played its part, and I appreciated how he got to the point and limited his cryptic behavior to an extent. He seemed tired, as he should have. His death was also well timed and I appreciated how much the movie wasn't afraid to straight up off a titular character in other continuities. The scene with the T-cog distribution was also a delight to watch. The animation was very clean and it gave me a whole lot to ponder biology wise.

I must say Sentinel's interaction with the Quintessons was, quite frankly, not surprising. But it did convey its point well. I like watching this noble looking character finally drop his façade fully, bowing before invaders and shocking our main cast (even if the audience could see this coming from two seconds into the film).

D-16 and Orion's first argument hit me in the feels, mainly because I really did understand D-16 far more than I did Orion. He was angry, he wanted justice, and above all else, he looked lost. I was simply enthralled with the way his character started to shift and change, going from passive to aggressive in response to rapid fire hits to his worldview, ultimately leading to a perfectly reasonable bot shattering under the pressure.

Alpha Trion offering the group T-cogs from the Primes was interesting and left me with many worldbuilding related questions. The scene where the group first transform was fun. I liked how the characters were given a chance to show their inexperience and struggles. Disregarding the comedy, it made perfect sense for bots who'd never once transformed to have to learn to do it all from scratch, trial and error. It was fun, especially D-16's leg being stuck halfway into turning into treads.

From here my praise is a bit more limited, but I enjoyed seeing D-16 flex his authority and get his group in line. I appreciated the moment of tension between him and Orion, showing the conflict brewing and yet the lingering brotherhood that had not yet cracked. It was delightful to see the war going on inside D-16 in that moment, the hesitancy and the care for his best friend buried under newfound rage and betrayal. Orion later doing his best to try and check up on D-16 was a delightful touch that only further cemented their struggling companionship as the film progressed.

Seeing Starscream was fun. Shockwave's voice was a nice addition and the extra emotion I find was a bonus. Also Soundwave with unique abilities. Nice.

D-16 beating the ever living snot out of Starscream was fun on its own, at least without considering the context and pacing. I enjoyed Starscream's character and the change to his usual cowardly behavior was, in my opinion, well earned and much needed (at least so early on in this new continuity). Orion's growing confusion and uncertainty was a lovely touch. I also adored how he stepped in, bringing D-16 back to reality long enough for him to spare Starscream and make his declaration.

Just going to throw this in here. Sentinel Prime is peak evil and I loved how cruel he was throughout the entire film. He oozed snooty and evil billionaire. The entire scene with him slaughtering Alpha Trion like some sort of hound, his dialogue, and later his insults toward D-16 were just *chef's kiss*. Him carving Megatronus's symbol onto D-16's chest was downright evil and served to further prove just how terrible he was. It was a great scene with very solid dialogue. Honestly, despite how evil he was, Sentinel was one of my favorite characters simply because he was consistent and his dialogue was very well done without any severe stilted moments right up until the end.

Not much to say about the D-16 capture and the Orion & Elita-One pep talk scene. It happened. More thoughts in The Bad section.

Additionally, D-16 staring death in the face was brilliant. I loved seeing his sheer defiance, and the way he met his potential end with honor even when B-127 was willing to stay down. It spoke so much of his character and his development since the beginning of the film. He went from wanting to hide from fights to actively standing up for his rights.

Orion talking to all the miners was, in theory, and probably on paper, a fantastic scene. It wasn't as grand as it could have been, but I really appreciated the size difference between him and the others combined with his attempts to rally them. His speech was moving and I could see his comradery with his fellows the spark of Optimus Prime within him. I loved seeing him rally his troops, encouraging his people to stand and fight. The miners being all so small really did wonders for the scene though. I know I already referenced the size difference, but seeing all these cogless bots look up in awe did something wonderful, especially with the lighting.

The revelation of the truth was downright brutal. It wasn't done as well as it could have been, but I appreciated it all the same, even if it gave off "I'd kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" vibes. (Thank you, Monsters Inc).

D-16 fighting Sentinel and then the subsequent attempt on Orion's part to calm him down was... painful (in a good way). I knew it was coming, I could smell it a mile away, but I honestly hadn't expected the scene to play out as it had. Orion trying to stop D-16 once was expected. Him trying again and getting hit was very him, and very powerful with D-16's response thrown in. Seeing the anger that had been brewing in D-16 fade for a moment to instead be replaced by guilt and grief for a precious second brought me nothing but sheer joy. It was such a turning point for the character, especially when the disbelief in his tone hit. D-16 holding onto Orion while on the verge of breaking down, warring with himself, and then deciding to let Orion fall?

Beautiful.

In that moment, we got to see D-16 metaphorically die alongside Orion Pax, breaking their brotherhood so that Megatron could rise from the ashes and try to bring down everything that led to their paths crossing and ultimately diverging. Honestly, I would have paid good money for an alternate ending where Orion died and stayed dead for a while longer, specifically so that Megatron could have a chance to grieve and contemplate. There was just so much going on in that scene with the music, the loss, and the tension that made it a fantastic visual.

The whole comparison between Orion and D-16 as they changed and morphed was a wonderful thing to witness. I enjoyed Megatron's birth a bit more than I did Optimus's, but that was largely because as Orion approached Primus's core, I personally would have adjusted a few small things to keep the dramatics in place. Megatron's birth however was truly stunning, showcasing his strength, his rage, and his passion all in a few short scenes. The music was phenomenal and only made it all the grander. His speech was simply perfection and I have absolutely no complaints. The concept of Megatron was rightfully embodied there and I was all but squealing in excitement when he made his declaration.

Optimus and Megatron's battle was amazingly done. The fighting and the use of weapons and transformation was spectacular and I have exactly zero complaints regarding the fight scene on its own. Optimus then banishing Megatron from Iacon had its own set of feelings, although, there are things I would change.

Bumblebee's line at the end of the movie was actually funny. It got a very solid chuckle out of me.

The flashback was adorable. I loved seeing the contrast between the bot who D-16 was, versus what he became. A brilliant scene, albeit a tad out of place in my opinion.

I have exactly nothing good to say about the last few sequences of the film. But I will say that Megatron is forever awesome.

With all that said, the music for the movie was phenomenal and made scenes that otherwise would have been simply moving into heart wrenching moments of awe. The Fall is by far my favorite simply because of all the emotional tracks in it. Every time I listen, I see that pivotal scene play out in my mind. Megatron and Optimus's birth, so perfectly contrasted and the emotion played out spectacularly. It's been days since I watched the film, and the emotional value of the music hasn't worn off in the slightest.

The Bad

(Aka, my rant combined with actual critiques)

Oh boy here we go.

Orion is just off. As a character, there's something off about him. He's perfectly acceptable on his own, but there is a lack of substance to him that makes it difficult to find him compelling at times. We never really know why he even gives a crap about the things he does. He just cares about the Matrix and becoming greater because of... reasons. There's no basis for his interests, not like D-16 who expressed in dialogue and actions why he cared about the things he did. He loved Sentinel because Sentinel "saved" them. He loved Megatronus Prime because he was the "strongest Prime who ever lived". Orion's reasoning for caring about the Matrix and freedom in general amounted to wanting to help Sentinel. I mean, it made sense, but it wasn't particularly fulfilling for his character, especially when the rest of the population was perfectly fine with their situations for the most part.

There needs to be reasoning. What happened to him to have him break the mold and try to act out? Why did he break it at all? Orion is obviously an outlier in mentality, and therefore he should have at least been given a single line of dialogue with D-16 to explain his interest, (excluding his declaration of wanting to help Sentinel find the Matrix. That is a mere statement and it didn't give me much of anything to understand why he cared since he wasn't as devoted as D-16). This issue follows him throughout the whole film. He's a bit of a shell at times, although it could have been due to the way his dialogue hit. This lack of foundation for his character made it difficult for me to really feel for him like I did with D-16. When D-16 got angry, I was on his side because I understood where he was coming from. But with Orion? He was always just... there. He expressed emotion and I loved seeing how he shifted, but his growth didn't match the pace the movie set, leaving him in the dust a bit.

It weakened his character drastically.

His voice is also a tad... bland. No offence to Hemsworth, but I just don't think he managed to capture Orion like Brian Tyree Henry managed to get D-16 and Megatron. Orion had his moments, and those moments were spectacular, but his speeches never had any of the depth of Peter Cullen's Optimus or the youth of TFA's Optimus. He lacked something distinctive to set him apart. He tended to sound somewhat blank in certain scenes, almost like Hemsworth had only just been given the script (or was still attempting to be Thor). It was especially bad when Orion becomes Optimus Prime. Where Hemsworth did an arguably fantastic job as Orion, his voice simply didn't fit Optimus. Am I biased because I enjoy Peter Cullen more? Yes. But also, Optimus is a mech meant to show power.

He needed a deeper voice desperately, something that would rattle and have the tone of a true commander, demanding respect even when he's being gentle. Hemsworth was a fine Orion Pax, but Optimus needed to change and become something more in my opinion. They didn't even have to change voice actor if Hemsworth could pull off a bit of range like Brian Tyree Henry did with D-16 and Megatron.

No complaints about D-16's introduction.

Back to the film. The sheer amount of background Easter eggs was fun right up until I started seeing far too many familiar faces in the same place. The world of Transformers One, unfortunately, feels incredibly small. We see Iacon and we see the cogless and Sentinel's servants, but nothing else is really there. It's a strange emptiness. I can tell the film creators were trying to fill the void, but we never got the chance to see those who did more than just mine. Where's the middle ranks? Who is running everything else? Why is every single Autobot a miner? There should at least be a few middle rank bots wandering around. We did see scenes with random civilians at the end, but I would have liked to see a greater range of work involved in Iacon. Even just a medic would have been great. If those things don't exist, then how does the city operate? Where the heck are the other cities? Is there a council of some sort? How is Sentinel running literally everything without an inner circle? We only ever see Arachnid after all.

Honestly, a tad more variety is what we needed. Not to say the variety we got was terrible, but seeing a medic, a random vendor, or even a military drill sergeant in the background would have done wonders I think.

Additionally, there should not be so many familiar bots all in one place. I know this is a new continuity, but it feels weird because there is no way every single big Autobot just happens to come from Iacon because they were ALL cogless miners. If that is the case, that destroys so much depth it's not even funny. I mean, the continuity can do what it wants since its new and has its own lore, but I suppose its a bit of a let down if everyone shares the exact same origin. Additionally, the voice acting for most background characters was... fine. Some scenes were fantastic, like the race where everyone rushes to see the miners on screen. But the movie could have greatly benefited from a few more unique and passionate voices. I wanted to see true anger, REAL heartbreak at the lies that had been fed to the cogless. This is more petty than anything else, but a few more voices and a bit more depth would have been fantastic.

It's only made worse by the fact that the entire film just feels tiny compared to the scale its operating on. One city, one mining area, one train, one open field, one race track, one abandoned base, one rebellion base, and a cave. Sounds good on paper, right? Lots of room to move. But we never see anything about any other part of the world. Not even a mention or a poster on the wall for a different city. It made everything so much smaller and more controlled. That's not necessarily a bad thing film wise, but giving artificial depth through background characters and whatnot would have been great. Even just some chatter from background characters would have served this purpose. Think about Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Both movies referenced planets and places that came into play later far before they actually showed up, and in only one or two lines. TF One needed such dialogue if it wanted to establish the scale of the world. Unfortunately, we didn't get that.

The first mining scene in the movie agitated me on a spiritual level. Not necessarily because it was bad. I found the actual operation of the scene very interesting, especially seeing how Cybertron reacts to the mining and how the bots go about getting energon. It was downright fascinating watching the trained and trialed methods the crew used to get in, do their mining, and get out. Jazz was hilarious. However, Elita-One murdered the mood for me.

Elita is... an interesting case. I will just say it outright. She serves no purpose within the film that actually means anything. And this fatal flaw reflects horribly on her character. On her own, a bit of snark and anger over her situation and even the arrogance would be good character flaws for her to work past, but combined with her place in the film, it made her nothing short of grating. Every scene she did anything more than fight or offer reasonable commentary was a slow torture for me. There was nothing to give me a reason to like her. She's an arrogant bot who thinks she knows and can do everything, and that bothers me. If there was something for her to have to go through to work past those flaws, then I could appreciate it. But she maintained her poor disposition throughout the entire film with little to no outward changes. It was a wasted character and an arc that was never even given a chance to exist.

With that said, every time Elita turned up and started getting talkative I died a little inside. I am prepared to be crucified for that take.

Elita's attitude after Orion and D-16 saved Jazz was just the worst. Even though I understood her take, she still bothered me with her rudeness. She's a very selfish character if you really look at her, and it shows. Her voice acting wasn't bad, although there were a few repeat lines that got stale fast.

The Iacon race was a fun concept, but Orion's character was again left to exist in a vacuum when he took D-16 to the race. Evidently, Orion knows a crap ton about the underground and travelling discreetly. This skill is never seen again. Nor is his knowledge of travelling quietly on his own ever mentioned after this scene, to my knowledge at any rate. Whatever the case, he was given a hint of lore and then left to go be rebellious for reasons we still do not have a solid foundation for. Honestly, I understood D-16 far more than I did Orion and I think that's a problem in a film meant to be their origin.

I have no real complaints about the actual race. The scene with Sentinel had nothing for me to comment on negatively.

Bumblebee is again, another character who holds little use in the film. I understand WHY he was put in (fanservice and all that), but the way he was implemented was very poor. There were far better ways to incorporate him into the story and actually make him important and telling. Instead, he's just a chatterbox there for jokes and one liners. He's far less agitating than Elita though because at least he has vague chemistry with our main protagonists. Also, B-127's whole nickname sequence should have been cut, or at least sidelined a bit. It really wasn't that funny, and if the crew were trying to show how isolation has gotten to him, the whole fake friends part got that across quite well.

The plot device was ridiculous. Not necessarily in its existence, but in its implementation. You want to have a SOS message from Trion to be the key? Cool. DON'T put it in the actual trash in the most obscure place on Cybertron. The fact that the bloody message survived is a miracle and quite frankly, it felt contrived. There were far better ways to implement the message. Think about Stars Wars and R2D2. Personally, I would have been privy to a bit of War for Cybertron coming into play, or possibly Smokescreen from Prime. That way Bee could actually be useful while still offering the crew their plot device. That said, it wasn't the worst thing and with a bit of grace, it is not a major sin.

The train scene with Elita was actually painful to watch. I despise her so much, and she just made the whole thing agony to get through. I skipped through her kicking the guys around like boyscouts because it was not appealing in the slightest. (I do understand some people like her, but I am not one of them and this is where my bias shows most.)

No complaints about their stint on the roof of the train.

Elita's entire scene on the ground where she gets in Orion's face made me want to strangle her. I can understand her reasoning, but she's so frickin annoying that I simply could not care about her in the slightest. Her lines might have even been funny if she hadn't been such a poorly done character.

Why does she get the map??? Why??? She isn't even meant to BE there??? Orion, why are you letting her walk all over you??? That's your evidence! You can't even trust her! Let D-16 read the bloody thing. He feels like he has the most braincells out of all of them. I get that they were aiming for girlboss and mom friend vibes combined with Elita, but she's simply agitating and I think it would have been far better for Orion or D-16 to lead the way and show more of their character. Actually, let Orion do it. He snuck into the archives all the time. He's a perfect fit for the role and would have given him the chance to show off that foundation that he lacked throughout the entire movie. If they REALLY needed Elita, they could have used the chance to build that oh so lovely ship bait for fans by having Elita and Orion have to work together to successfully read the map. After all, Orion knows all the weird underhanded stuff and Elita was a team leader for the miners. Their combined knowledge could have been a bonding moment AND been useful to the plot later to show why they fight together in a reasonable fashion.

Again, Transformers One feels tiny. There was one creature type shown on screen, and I understand animating is a pain, but even just some shifting shadows as the group walked would have been nice. Would have made things feel more alive and artificially expanded. (again, a petty complaint above all else. Maybe Cybertron just doesn't have a ton of animals.)

No complaints about the cave scene.

So... T-cogs can just be taken from the dead? Is that not a health issue? We see later that Megatron taking Megatronus's T-cog changes him further. Does that imply that all four of the crew are now biologically related to the Primes? If those T-cogs aren't rusted to hell and back after fifty cycles and don't give the crew infections later, this has some startling implications. Less of a complaint and more of my confusion. Seriously, are there no prerequisites to have a T-cog when a bot's original one has been removed?? Does this mean that biological offspring can be a thing via passing on a T-cog?

(I have some worrying thoughts about relationships on Cybertron now because of the shift in characteristics for the crew when they got their Prime inherited T-cogs)

Too much exposition from Alpha Trion. It fit the scene certainly, but the whole film had a running problem of mouthing off and throwing exposition around like candy. It was not done particularly tastefully 90% of the time. In fact, the only exposition that I liked was from D-16 and B-127 because it felt natural for them to explain things as they did. Trion's was cool certainly, and honestly if Orion's first exposition in the archive and then Trion's were the only dumps, I would have been quite happy.

I can't believe the Primes fell as easily as they did. I understand they were ambushed. But how on earth did Sentinel manage to personally cut down several of them when, up until that point, Alpha Trion said they were winning? One sneak attack is understandable, but the rest was a bit unbelievable. Especially Megatronus Prime.

Why is everyone suddenly so chill with killing? I mean D-16 just shot someone to DEATH despite having never raised a hand to pretty much anyone with intent to kill up until that point. Is this a society thing? Cultural? (I am not talking about Orion here. He's a sunflower compared to B-127 and everyone else going off and chopping enemies to bits)

Regarding D-16's arc, it was rapid fire from this point onward. I can see what they were aiming for, but there was a distinct lack of anything to really cause him to fall as far and as fast as he did. Actually, allow me to rephrase. Rather it was that he HAD reason, it was simply too fast paced of a film for me to feel his change and truly cement it in my soul. It stuck and it most certainly made sense, but it was a bit like whiplash when he chose to let Orion fall to his death despite them having gotten along up until that point for the most part.

Orion is an idiot as well. He spent all of D-16's rapid fall into warlording staring at his best friend like a confused goldfish. He did very little to step in aside from try to ask if D-16 was alright and stopping him from killing Starscream. Yes, D-16 was captured and there wasn't a lot of time to do therapy. Yes, the rapid character change occurred literally over the course of like, a day and change, so I can't fully blame Orion. And do I understand why he was so hesitant? Yes of course. The change was super fast. Do I also understand how and why D-16 fell? Absolutely yes. Were both of these characters rushed? Abso-frickin-lutely. The foundations were there and they were fantastic. They just had to be roller coastered to their completion without any regard for the emotional value of pacing their respective shifts away from their previously shared goal.

I do not truly blame the film creators for the rush, but it does kill a lot of the emotional impact that would have come if we'd been given more time to see D-16 and Orion have more and more arguments over increasingly difficult moral decisions.

Starscream and the High Guard are stupid. They are a fantastic concept on paper, but much like half the cast, their implementation was poor in the extreme. They came from nowhere, were exposition dumped into existence, and promptly followed the rando who beat the snot out of Starscream and could have, for all they knew, been an actual spy. For some of the best trained bots on the planet, there was not a single braincell amongst them.

Starscream had so much potential too. But that vanished into smoke twenty seconds into his face getting bashed in. Soundwave looks like a taco. And he acts like one with his lack of substance character wise. Shockwave was neat right up until he got wrapped up into the stupid gag with B-127. It's a dumb joke and it destroyed whatever seriousness was building. Like come on guys, we are at the one hour mark. It's time to get serious or go home. Again, aren't these the High Guard???? Very important very well trained bots??? Why are they acting like savages and petty children? We at least need explanation for that if we are rolling under that rule. They needed more depth desperately. As it stands, they were nothing more than free guns for D-16 to yoink for future movies.

Also, again, Orion the goldfish. Standing there all confused without doing a bloody thing about it. He's so passive in this movie and it infuriates me because it feels like his character arc never picked up the pace like D-16's did at the hour mark. I understand he's going through a lot and watching his bro fall is likely a bit shock to the system, but one would think with how close they are that Orion of all bots would be the one to try and humble his brother in arms. (I am aware he did his best with what time he had, but still). I know that if one of my siblings decided to go all murder hobo on me I would be the first to get up there and throw a shoe at their head. Once more, I do understand that Orion was likely in shock, but due to the pacing of the film, he feels a bit like stale bread right up until he's literally shot.

Neat, a fight scene. D-16 is captured, ooooh that could be interesting- aaaaaaaand there's Elita being the worst again. Great pep talk. Fantastic even. Now I hate her even more because all I am getting is sheer arrogance and not even in a humorous way like Knockout from TFP. Good heavens Elita sucks.

"We won't follow you." *Elita exists* "wE wiLl fOLLoW yOu" - Frag ALL the way off with this garbage. High Guard indeed. High on drugs and low on self-esteem. Elita has done NOTHING to prove herself worthy of being followed, or Orion for that matter. It would make far more sense for the High Guard to just be pissed off and opt to go fight Sentinel on their own since they've lost their new leader and a ton of their troops all in one raid. It would have been majestic for them to straight up decide now or never and lead a charge, and then have Elita and Orion join them with unexpected troops in the form of the cogless.

Again, aren't these guys meant to be the High Guard? Why can't they get into their own city? Surely they have contacts or old knowledge? Actually, why can't Orion bargain his way into their ranks using his knowledge of all things underhanded in Iacon? It would have been a great callback to his scene getting himself and D-16 into the race. I know they sort of went that route by having Elita get everyone in while Orion went to fetch the cogless, but it would have been way more interesting to see them working together in a logical manner and planning their attack. I know there were time constraints, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have worked together for a short period of time and shown either the brutality of the High Guard or their similarities in regards to goals and ideals.

The scene with Orion addressing the cogless was certainly stunning, but it needed more. Emphasis, tone, lighting, music. I think it needed something just a touch grander. Not too much mind you. Orion needed to have come back with a new aura around him, something to really make him stand out aside from his newfound height. This is his dawning moment after all, his first spark of Optimus Prime. If he'd spent some time scheming with the High Guard, maybe he could have had an air of a fledgling soldier, just bloodied and ready for battle. He did punch Darkwing, and that certainly helped, so I will give him a pass in this regard. His speech still would have meant more if he'd been a bit grittier and yet still kind, especially contrasting D-16 who took one life and then never stopped doing that. His compassion was a nice touch, as well as his relatability to his fellows, but there had to be that hint of something more commanding. He had the inklings and I appreciated his first real speech, but the rallying cry was, in my opinion, a tad off. It could have been due to the voice acting. (Seriously though I did love this scene, I just have itty bitty suggestions regarding how it could have been better. And Orion made a funny face halfway through his big pep talk so there's that).

The background character voice acting didn't show quite enough confusion or awe for me to really be sold on the scene. I would have preferred something more akin to the TFP scene where the kids are introduced to Optimus. Shock, awe, excitement, a hint of fear. Those things were present of course, and I understand the miners were tired from doing their million and a half shifts. But a bit more could have been done. More background chatter essentially.

No complaints about the Sentinel and D-16 interaction.

The battle scene was well done, all of them. The Arachnid thing worked, but the big reveal of the truth did absolutely feel torn right off of 'cliche villain downfall bingo'. I would have liked something a tad more original. Just a bit. But it did get the point across well enough so I can't really be upset.

Again with the background characters. It wasn't bad, but where's the RAGE?!? Where is the sheer chaos? It was emphasized later with the battle, but I think that scene with the big reveal needed a bit more violence so show just how unruly the population ended up. It could also make it clear why so many would eventually choose to join Megatron. Give me ONE guy with a Molotov cocktail throwing it at a statue of Sentinel or something. Why not have some of the cogless start attacking their superiors as well as Sentinel's servants, just to show the sheer destruction going on? Please, it would have been delightful and only have taken up like, five second of screen time MAX.

No real complaints about the scene with Orion, D-16, and Sentinel. It was still fast paced, and Orion still felt a bit like a goldfish, but overall the scene was perfect. The pacing is all that made it feel somewhat off.

The birth of Megatron was perfect. Zero complaints.

Once Orion reached Primus's core, the birth of Optimus gave off "Meeeeeeeegatrooooooooon~" vibes from the TFP Movie (Thank you Unicron. Love the voice acting man). Alpha Trion's voice was not doing it for me. It made a grand moment rather cheesy. Personally I think Orion needed whispers, echoes and flashbacks to go along with D-16's increasing violence and declaration. It would have been the perfect time to throw that flashback from the closing part of the film in. Let Orion see a ton of rapid images of him and D-16 along with increasingly loud whispers from all the Primes, cumulating in "Arise, Optimus Prime." Maybe even chuck in visions of the dead Primes, showing bits of their lives as a way to nod to the knowledge contained within the Matrix (if this continuity is going that route anyway. If nothing else, it would look cool and allow each Prime to meet Optimus in a natural manner during his creation). Additionally, that way Optimus can maintain a hint of mysteriousness but also grandeur.

Optimus flying up to the surface like superman.

I get what they were going for, but it was a tiny bit silly. I think it would have been grander for Optimus to have taken a bit longer returning, simply so that he could have the very earth part for him Moses style. I am not entirely sure. There isn't really a right way to fix this scene in light of the time constraints, and frankly the sonic shoot up to the surface did look cool and served its dramatic entrance purpose. I don't necessarily dislike it, but given the opportunity, I would have gone a slightly different route.

No commentary on the battle. It was perfect.

Again, Megatron's character arc was seriously rushed. He needed far more time. I adore him in TF One. He's quite literally the best character in there. But everything leading up to his final moment was rushed and it left me feeling unsatisfied at the end. There was plenty of foreshadowing in small ways, but those didn't start happening until the hour mark, give or take. Also, Optimus banishing Megatron from Iacon?? Why just Iacon??? Where the heck are the other cities?? Do they exist?? I'm spitballing but the whole scene felt ever so slightly off. Megatron limping into the distance didn't feel quite right. I honestly think that in exchange for wounding him, Optimus should have gotten a scar somewhere in return as a reminder of his cause. Megatron got Megatronus's face burned onto him. Let Optimus get a similarly noticeable marking, that way both players show a mark of their fallen friendship.

Sidenote: How does ANYONE know how to fight in this film?? Sentinel, the High Guard, and those with T-cogs makes sense. Orion? Sure. He did a lot of rough housing. Elita? Maybe. Hard to tell with her limited background. But D-16 and B-127? The rest of the cogless? Where did they pick it up? Its a recurring problem. And how does the crew improve so fast? I mean, they know how to fight with their big ol saws from mining, but we don't get to see in anyone except Orion so its hard to believe anything. We are never given a solid time period between the journey to the surface and then back down again, and really I think some of that travel time should have been spent with the group sparring or otherwise bantering about their backgrounds to lay the groundwork for their skillsets.

Regarding the final scene of the film, its really bad. Painfully bad.

(I would like to throw Elita off the nearest structure thank you.)

I get that they are laying the groundwork for more movies, but the flashback was quite forced. It was cute and absolutely had a place in the film somewhere, but not right there. It didn't feel quite right, or at least not with how it was edged into. The narration was just... weird, to me at any rate. The T-cogs being distributed was cool, certainly. But it raises many questions about the logic of it all. It feels dues ex machina. Not in a good way either. Not saying it wasn't cool, but it did feel forced. Like a participation trophy. I would have loved to see the cogless remaining that way and having to collect cogs from wherever Sentinel stored them, or otherwise take them from the fallen. That way they could have more diversity going forward.

That whole ending bit with Optimus and the Autobots running into the sunset was stupid. There is no other way to describe it. The scene gave nothing to the film and I think it would have been spent far better if we saw Optimus and Megatron both gathering their armies while the Quintessons loomed overhead. Megatron watching his warships be built and then him looking up at the sky. Optimus gathering up the cogless and helping them get their T-cogs via Matrix and then also looking upward. Only to then have it end with the Quintessons looming above.

The Quintessons were so underutilized in TF One it wasn't even funny. I don't even really know why they were there. I mean I understand they had to exist for war reasons and Sentinel and all that. But if they are such a threat, then they need to either be driven off so that the Cybertronian civil war can happen, or they need to make themselves everyone's problem so that Optimus and Megatron's spat looks all the worse for the planet.

There needed to be more for the Quintessons. They needed to have played a bigger role or to have been somehow removed from the playing field by the end of the film. Even one scene with them seeing Sentinel falling and then opting to get the heck out of dodge would have served well enough. But they didn't. And for that reason they are just... there. Letting their prized slaves rebel. They won once against all the Primes. Why not do so again?

Also why do they want the energon??? There are too many questions right now and not even the barest inkling of an answer.

The Characters

(A look into every character of note + my edits to their development in the film.)

Orion Pax/Optimus Prime:

Orion's character is quite well done. He has goals, morals, and a personality that shines in the right environment. His adventurous spirit gives him life, and his desperate desire for something more makes him compelling when he's given the opportunity to really flex his morality muscles. He has a bit of fight in him, an eagerness to improve and assist those around him that makes him lovable and fun. Every moment he was on screen was a delight, and there was never any point where I directly despised his presence. He had moments of greatness, and moments where I would have preferred someone consulted Peter Cullen for advice on scenes where more Optimus was meant to show. His arc was steady, but it didn't move quite fast enough to match the pace D-16 set with his rise (or fall). It was clear Orion was meant go from largely trying to become greater for his own personal reasons to instead fighting for something more than himself. The creators were attempting to broaden him, give him more to fight for and more to lose. They were well on their way to doing that, but Orion's arc simply did not move fast enough, leading him to end up feeling a bit static while D-16 steamrolled ahead.

To adjust him, all I would want to see is for Orion to be shown having a more solid reason for his goals. Instead of just wanting to help, perhaps have him witness a hint of the mess on the surface at some point in his youth. Maybe he could mention it to D-16, saying that when he was newly forged, he either witnessed a record or saw a peek of the surface or perhaps some other Quintesson related thing to get him to feel a degree of investment in trying to help. Maybe he found the surface lovely and wanted to travel there. Maybe he heard legends of the Primes and particularly wanted to see them and make sure that they really had fallen. He either needed to show a level of devotion to the cause to match D-16's love for Sentinel and Megatronus Prime, or he needed to be skeptical. I would have loved to see Orion doubt, simply because no bodies of the Primes were ever recovered and old records did not mention the Matrix passing on (or perhaps he is skeptical in general). Whatever the case, giving Orion this foundational skepticism or believe would have allowed him to be more compelling when the truth was revealed.

Then, to match D-16 character arc, Orion should have started to try and take a commanding position earlier. Perhaps he could feel just as betrayed and angry, but instead of being more passive like in the film, his anger could instead be directed as the Quintessons who allowed things to happen as they did. Maybe Orion could feel loyalty toward his people as a whole, making him want to do things correctly and rally his kind together for the sole purpose of ensuring no other could ever enslave them, directly contrasting D-16 who was off to kill Sentinel for arguably more personal reasons. Making Orion care more about the people as a whole, knowing that they have all suffered under the threat that is the Quintessons, all the while D-16 cared more for his specific group of fellows... yeah it would have been delightful. Just, having Orion focus more on the bigger picture as the movie progressed, leading him to maybe mistreat D-16 a bit in his haste to spread the truth rather than get rid of the source of the problem. This way both Orion and D-16 could be given depth, since arguably, both are right in their approaches.

These are, of course, vague edits. And much like D-16, there isn't a ton I would change for Orion. He just needed more time on screen, and more opportunities to be presented with moral challenge and/or chances to lead.

"The line between friend and enemy is not as clear as I once believed. Once it's crossed, there's no going back, because some transformations, are permanent."

D-16/Megatron:

D-16, and later Megatron, was by far the best developed character in the entire movie. A very good thing considering the film is his origin moreso than anyone else's. He had the most growth to go through, and my goodness he went through it fantastically. He started off somewhat meek, mild tempered, and cheerful. He was a normal bot, one just happy to go about his life and enjoy his few passions as an average civilian. But as the film progressed, his character shifted from one of fun and adventure to anger and betrayal. One lie after another stacked up, slowly breaking down his innocent belief in everything he held dear until he had nothing left to stand on. All he could do was direct his anger at something, lest he lose himself entirely. His reasons were all justified, and you could see the way his morality shifted between "I want him in chains" to "you need to get out of my way, before I move you myself." and it was brilliant. Everything about his arc was well formulated, at least regarding showing his shift in character.

All I would have changed is the rate at which he changed. It was very fast paced. And from what I gather, occurred over the course of maybe a day or two. Crimes of passion are a thing, and some change really does happen that quickly, but D-16 needed at least a few more scenes of moral debate. Perhaps a scene in the beginning where he makes a simple choice that Orion's agrees with and then a very similar scene later where he goes directly against his previous choice. He should have been shown arguing with Orion more as the film progressed, and over more and more serious matters. Perhaps it starts with the map, but as time goes on, it starts edging into who to kill, who to suppress, what path to take in laying siege to Iacon, etc. That way D-16 moral shift can come a bit more naturally when he finally beats the snot out of Starscream and later kills Sentinel with no remorse.

D-16, and later Megatron, is a delightful character. There is very little I would change for him. Above all else, he needed more time on screen to shine, and I think that's the best possible critique there could be for a character.

"The age of Primes has ended. No more false Prophets. Follow me, you will never again be deceived! Rise up!"

Elita-One:

Elita-One is the worst offender in the entire film when it comes to horrible character. Where others lacked personality, she got far too much and absolutely zero development for it. She came in arrogant and came out just as if not more so. Obviously, the creators were aiming for her to be a foil for the boys, trying to make her into a more stable and commanding counterpart to Orion's, and later D-16's, rebellious nature. But her extreme arrogance, snarky attitude, and little to no love for anyone else made her presence grating. There wasn't enough of a relationship between her and the boys for me to see her in a more familial light for them, nor was there enough of an indicator of rivalry for her viciousness to not be annoying in its presentation. She was mean, bitter, and overall a pain throughout the entire film. And while there were reasons for those traits to be presented initially, they were obtrusive and took away from the film since they were never again addressed or given proper conclusion. Elita-One had no character growth, and as such, she leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Her relationship with Orion in particular was agitating. She had a backstory at least, and it did contribute to her character, but it didn't help to differentiate her a ton or warrant her arrogance, unfortunately.

Elita-One needed a reason to be so confident in herself that was visible to the audience, not just her forcing her crew to repeat her greatness. Arrogance can be done well, as seen with Starscream and Knockout in TFP, but Elita's just came off as annoying at the best of times. To adjust her character, I would have pre-established her relationship a bit differently. Instead of aiming to be supervisor, she should have been one already. To make her arrogance less annoying, she should have been shown as being affiliated with Orion before her demotion, perhaps as the one letting him get away with all his shenanigans. That way her arrogance plays off as her bantering and simply noting her station, and maybe she flaunts it around a bit, having Orion do her random favors since she won't go breaking protocol, but she knows he will. Their relationship could be one of mutual benefit, perhaps even hinting at Elita having used Orion's help to achieve her station at some point. That way they can be vaguely affiliated and their power dynamic can be somewhat equal since Orion offers a service and in turn, Elita covers his back when he decides to go and wander off.

If the creators wanted to go the ship baity route, or even just make Orion and Elita closer, it could be a thing where Elita was an old friend of Orion's who simply drifted apart after her rise to supervisor. Instead of being harsh with him during the mining scene, she could offer to speak later. Their entire dynamic could be that of ancient friendship, older than even Orion's and D-16 connection. Maybe they were in training together. Perhaps they were on the same mining crew for a while. Whatever the case, making Elita a bit nicer would go a long way, especially if she attempted to cover for Orion yet again after he broke protocol to save Jazz. She could try to cover for her old friend and be punished for it, making her less willing to help later in the movie when her aid is needed once more. Her character could go through serious growth because of this.

Additionally, if this were to be how her character played out, when she's brought to the surface, her lingering arrogance can be crushed like a grape in the unfamiliar environment. Where she once looked at Orion as a bit of a nuisance due to his habit of going places where he really shouldn't have been, she can now appreciate his skill and support him with her own. Maybe as a former supervisor, she's the only one who can read the map accurately, but for that same reason, she has very little skill in traversing the land and translating old indicators on the coordinates. That's where the boys could step in, helping and offering their skills and in turn showing Elita that while she's not the best and never will be, her skills are valuable when applied correctly, just as her companion's skills are as well. They could play off each other in a more meaningful way, helping Elita develop a healthy relationship with her companions and her ego. By the end of the movie, she could end up a bit more like Skybound or Earthspark Elita-One, confident and competent, but mature enough to know when to let someone else take the lead and when her job should be to play support.

She could even serve as a bit of an echo of Megatron, starting off where he ended. Anger, passion, and of course, arrogance. Then slowly she can learn to mellow a bit and apply herself in a far more productive manner. This could let her relate to D-16 as he starts to crumble, giving her more of a reason to be invested in him since as she improves, he starts to fall to pieces. There are many ways she could be played, but more importantly, she needs to be showed having actual chemistry with her companions and changing as a character into someone more mature. She's not a bad pick for a character, but she needed to be tempered, a lot.

"My point is, that your instincts tell you to break protocol for a reason."

B-127:

B-127 is a character that, on his own, doesn't really have a purpose being in the film at all. He's comedic and does show the beginnings of maturity in more serious moments, like when he and D-16 are captured. However, he lacks substance. He's fun, he's peppy, but it feels like a lot of the basis for his presence hinges on old and new fans recognizing his paintjob and knowing who he will become later down the line. He's a rather shallow character, which is not a necessarily bad trait since Sentinel pulled it off brilliantly. But since he is meant to be a main character in this film, I would have preferred he be given a more solid foundation. His actions are fine, his personality is acceptable, but he needed more to work with, a reason for his behavior if you will (since he can't exactly have a reputation to run with, being on sub-level 50).

I think the best way to have introduced him and given him a foundation would be to foreshadow the sub-levels. Perhaps have it be noted that bots go down a few levels and never come back, unfortunate miners who mess up one too many times. (maybe D-16 reminds Orion of this potential fate). Instead at staring at smelters, B-127 could be introduced as a scavenger. Rather than be down so many levels doing essentially nothing, perhaps show him weaving through discarded rubbish in huge heaps before they can be incinerated, taking bits and pieces that he likes. This way his random assortment of knowledge can make sense. It can explain his madness in a slightly more believable manner. Seriously, if B-127 knew how to get out, why wouldn't he leave at some point to seek out companions? Better it be that he's trapped, and now that he's got new companions, he feels totally fine accepting them and showing off his collection of trinkets since they are all prisoners together. He could state he's been down there for a very very long time, maybe making him the oldest out of the eventual group of four. This would explain why he has the plot device later, and if he shows off more confidential reading/viewing material he's collected, his knowledge base and animalistic fighting style make more sense.

It would give him a foundation as someone more feral, easily surprised, and excitable. It would give him unique skillsets, such as scavenging and self repair. If needed, he could even be the team's makeshift medic. Maybe B-127 could even have a broken T-cog instead of missing it altogether, showing that the practice of removing a cog was imperfect for a time, and since his removal failed, they disposed of him. Yet another hint of what is to come. His introduction scene would be about the same length too, since all that would change is the setting. It would also give all three time to bond since B-127 doesn't know how to escape, but has resources, which would allow D-16 and Orion to put their heads together to get them all out. It would also create a sense of loyalty for B-127, encouraging him to stay with the group. No changes need to be made to B-127's personality, just a shift in scenery.

"Are you serious? This is the greatest day of my life! I get to work for the government!"

Starscream:

Starscream's appearance in this film, much like Elita's presence, served little to no purpose. He existed purely to provide D-16 a chance to exercise his brutality and growing passion for rebellion. However, with what little time he had on screen, he presented an incredibly unique version of the character. Gone was the cowardly behavior seen in almost every single Starscream to have ever been produced. This Starscream appeared to be a highly competent character, willing to fight and die for his cause. He showed determination, energy not seen in any other Starscream. I can't exactly say he was the most intelligent character, a shame considering his station. But the embers of something more that he presented were fascinating, and in my opinion, a delight to witness.

I would have liked to have had his foreshadowed earlier. Personally, I think a great way to have hinted at his presence would have been to make him a bit of a martyr. He could have been blamed for the betrayal of the Primes, with Sentinel pinning their fall on the High Guard and Starscream in particular. That way, he could have been foreshadowed via D-16 absolutely hating him for his "betrayal" and also served to hint at the High Guard's power later. Additionally, if Sentinel made it so the High Guard looked like they'd sold out to the Quintessons, him going to the surface would be even more "Dangerous" since he'd be fighting "traitors". All the more for him to have lied above, and more to keep everyone off the surface.

Bonus if Starscream actively has a warrant out for him, as evidenced perhaps by chatter from background characters or maybe even Darkwing calling D-16 and Orion Pax "High Guard/Starscream sympathizers" for their rambunctious activity. Through this slight shift, Starscream's later appearance could be far more meaningful and make him an ally of note, especially if its mentioned that he and his people have been attacking energon trains for sustenance and to mess with Sentinel. Starscream's intelligence can be shown, as can his former ties to the Primes, all by adding a line or two depicting his presence.

"Two options for you! One, we slowly dismantle each of you one bolt and screw at a time, and really make sure you feel it. Or two, in exchange for a quick death, you give us intel on the energon trails, access to the mines, or anything else that could hurt your Boss, Sentinel Prime."

Soundwave: Soundwave can hardly be called a character in this film. He exists. That's about all he has going for him. He looks like a taco and has all the personality of one, that being none at all. There was so much potential for him, but he got a grand total of perhaps three lines before he became background noise. Jazz had more lines than Soundwave. Jazz, the cogless background character. We know nothing about Soundwave except the fact that he's with the High Guard and apparently important enough to have been in the records. No explanations regarding his abilities, no backstory, no reason behind his connections. Nothing. He's a familiar name for old fans to gawk at and does little else.

If Soundwave is going to be in a film, I feel like it is law for him to play at least a semi-important part. Even if I didn't know Soundwave from other continuities, he would still be seen as highly underutilized. Personally, I think he would have done so much better serving as an agent of Sentinel Prime who turned when he learned the truth. He could have been right at Sentinel's side whenever he was in the city, offering reports on other cities and their struggles to obtain energon but ultimately being waved off. This could help with the small setting feeling and give Soundwave character through his hesitance and concern for the rest of the population. It could be fascinating to see Soundwave loyally follow this Prime, despite his concerns, and then be betrayed with the knowledge that his world and his people have been enslaved by the one he thought was their savior. This way, he would have a very valid reason to hate Optimus when he comes into being, and consequently have a reasonable desire to join Megatron.

"Scanning electrical impulses: He speaks the truth."

Shockwave: Thankfully he's less of a taco. Unfortunately, he only has a bit more personality than Soundwave. We also know exactly nothing about him and he suffers from the same problems as Soundwave personality wise. We've got next to nothing to work with, not even a title. He also comes off as a bit of a potato since the very first thing he did when threatened by Elita of all bots was to bend the knee. It does tell us about him, but its not done tastefully and as it stands, Shockwave has the personality of a small child who got his favorite toy stolen from him.

Much like Soundwave, if one is going to use Shockwave, he has to at least have had some sort of impact in the past, if not the present. I would have liked to have seen him possibly have been the one who assisted in removing cogs from the newly forged. It is an essential part of their structure, so I imagine there is a certain degree of delicacy involved. Or barring that, why couldn't he have been the High Guard's medic or scientist and studied the process and uses of the Transformation Cog? That way, he would have a plethora of knowledge and be very invested in Sentinel's downfall since he knows the truth of the matter. Perhaps he feels guilty for having assisted. Maybe he was banished for trying to do too much. There are a thousand things that could be done with even a hint of such a backstory. Heck, maybe he could be the one to have a small mountain of cogs to offer cogless bots during the battle against Sentinel. Or if we want to maintain the emotional value of the bots fighting without their cogs, have Shockwave offer up images of piles upon piles of destroyed T-cogs or something for evidence. There is a lot of potential for him that was never realized, and all it would have taken is a line or two to establish him and his usefulness to the Decepticons later.

"He wouldn't stop talking."

Sentinel Prime:

Sentinel's character was, quite frankly, delightful. There were no redemptive qualities about him, and I personally found that to be perfect for his character. He was cruel, prideful, vicious, arrogant, and everything else I expected from a cliche villain. And yet, despite being cliche, his voice acting combined with his stable character portrayal always had me adoring how terrible he was. Whenever Sentinel came on screen, I was excited to see him because I knew how he was going to act, and I was thrilled to see it play out every time. I knew his personality, and yet how he went about his activities always exceeded my expectations. Personally, I adored how smug his dialogue was, right up until the very end of his life. It sold him as being the worst, even if he wasn't breaking any new ground with his character. Sometimes you just need a character who sucks as an individual. I appreciate that the movie was willing to make him irredeemable, unlike other iterations of Sentinel Prime who at least had a slightly non-selfish hidden motive somewhere in their backstory. There's nothing I would change about him, not in the slightest, at least not without adjusting the entire movie and rewriting it from the ground up. He fits. Simple as that.

"What truth? That I plucked your cogs from your newborn chests, forced you to mine so that I could pay off the Quintessons, and live like a King?"

Alpha Trion:

Alpha Trion was a fascinating character with so much potential history and lore attached to him. I am quite sad he didn't get more of a chance to shine, considering his past and his status as the last living Prime. He did serve his part in the movie, quite well might I add. But he could have had more. He was so very tired sounding, lost even. He seemed to care for our main cast and offered so much wisdom, and yet had so little time to actually impress it upon the main characters. He died with honor and what times he did have the chance to speak were well put together. However, I would have liked to see a bit more of him, personally. A bit more character, spice if you will.

I would have given at least one digit on my right hand to see him train our group of four, or at least begin guiding them back to Iacon so give them more time to talk. His presence could have accentuated the fallout between Orion and D-16, showing their shifting ideals when compared to the pure goal of Alpha Trion. Perhaps he could be the one to try and guide the group into working as a cohesive unit. And perhaps his slaughter could be one of those things that drives D-16 and Orion apart now that they no longer have a stabilizing force to keep them from arguing over what to do with their evidence. Honestly, I'm thinking something Uncle Ben combined with Uncle Iroh for Alpha Trion would have been a perfect way to introduce him, make use of him, and ultimately offline him in a meaningful manner. But again, time constraints are a real issue and I understand the problems the movie had giving everyone time to breathe.

"I failed you, old friend. You deserved so much better than this end."

Arachnid: She's a fascinating character who I personally would have loved to see more of. The times she turned up on screen were always noteworthy, and the fact that her intentions were largely unknown gave me a feeling like she was this movie's Soundwave. She didn't need too much development because her role in the movie was perfectly structured. She was Sentinel's right hand, his eyes and his hands. She is a perfect example of a character who doesn't need much exposition or backstory simply because she fulfills her role perfectly. We can make assumptions and still have room to speculate, but her character doesn't feel like a vacuum or like its missing some grand piece. Would I have appreciated a hint more for her thought? Yes.

Personally, I think hearing rumors of Sentinel's frightening right hand might have given her the final touch she needed to be a solid character in my book. Just some bots being in awe as she walks by with Sentinel, or perhaps Orion recognizing her from some old text from the archives. That way she could come onto the scene with a reputation. Or barring that, a sense of dread. That said, I did enjoy her introduction and I have no real critiques of her. The character is built well for the time she's on screen. I enjoyed her far more than I did Elita-One which should tell you all something. A girlboss character can be done well. Look at Arachnid and her combat prowess and intelligence. Elita was just a poorly done, slapped together attempt at giving our main cast flavor.

"I see everything."

That One Random Quintesson: It looked neat. Very intimidating in its own weird way. Certainly uncanny considering the metallic scenery. Could have used at least a line or two to sell the evil. I personally would have paid money for the Quint to talk in gibberish and for Sentinel to somehow understand because that would show just how long he'd been working for the Quintessons.

Jazz: We saw him a grand total of perhaps five times and I love him. No complaints. He's very Jazz and maintains his Jazz attitude throughout every single scene he turns up in. I especially love him during the scene where Orion rallies the cogless. He looks so confused and yet so happy later one when he gets his Transformation Cog.

"Little? There's nothing little about you."

Darkwing: DARKWING DUCK- I'm kidding. Darkwing's character had little to no depth, but he served perfectly fine considering his role in the movie. An aggressive enforcer of some variety, evidently high ranking enough to be in the Iacon 5000. He's got enough flavor to him that I'm sure someone in the fandom will decide he is their blorbo and run with it. He's not breaking any new ground, nor are his lines anything noteworthy. He simply is, and considering his role, it suites him.

"You are no cog bots with limited options. Report to waste management immediately."

Background Characters in General: Nothing really of note. They existed and served their purposes. I appreciated the fact that no two bots were the same appearance wise. It made Iacon feel more lived in, a trait desperately needed considering how small the world felt. Seeing so many familiar faces was fun.

The Plot

(An assessment of the story overall & its holes.)

The plot was fantastic, at least with all the random unneeded scenes not considered.

There were quite a few themes present, most of which were at least touched upon. Honestly, the journey to discover the truth was a wonderful overall plot. I have very few complaints about the way the story set out. Two miners who, by accident, are cast away and gain an inkling of the truth. This in turn sending them on a quest to uncover said truth, only to have their worldview shattered. It's simple, and at the end of their road, their differing ideas regarding what to do with the truth are what drive them apart.

There are some things that don't add up, such as the time it takes the crew to actually get from Point A to Point B at any given part of the film. Time is a real issue in the movie. If we had only been given the illusion of more time passing, some of the pacing issues might have been less in our faces. Additionally, there are a few inconsistencies.

The boys being chucked down fifty sub levels because the plot needed it to happen. The plot device just happening to be there for reasons. How B-127 and the boys know how to get anywhere is beyond me. Elita being at the exact train they need to board at the exact right time is a bit off. The t-cog situation is interesting and I can't help but wonder how that whole mess really works. The High Guard popping out of the ground like cabbage patch kids. D-16 suddenly choosing to betray his best friend for reasons that were not given enough time to justify.

It's just a lot of smaller things that added up, when combined with the pacing, to create something a bit off. However, overall, the base story attempting to be told is very solid, only needing to be tweaked and refined to add further depth and give characters reasons to be there at all.

A very solid 7.5 - 8/10 movie when viewed overall.

The World Building

(Current questions & Information + musings)

Cybertronians don't bleed, unlike other continuities.

I find this fact downright fascinating. When characters are killed, they don't bleed. TFP bled, pretty sure other continuities did as well. Except for G1 at any rate. It's an interesting take since energon appears to be a liquid, not crystal, on this new version of Cybertron. That leads me to believe that it must be pure energy since the moment it is taken in, it appears to go straight into powering the bot in question, rather than flowing through their veins. They are far more machine like, and I have had that fact grow on me a lot. Less alien, more mechanical.

The cogless had their cogs removed before coming online. Where are said cogs now?

It really is fascinating to think about. Sentinel had all of these T-cogs removed, presumably thousands upon thousands of them. I have to wonder, were they destroyed? Stored away in case on of the bots allowed to have their cogs needed a new one? If they were thrown away, how did no one notice or snag a few? There are many questions regarding how this big biological aspect of the cogless was kept from them.

Where are these bots forged? No Well of Allsparks was mentioned, at least to my memory.

It was stated that the first Primes came from Primus's core, which adds up since they are the closest this new continuity has to demi-gods. I would say that it would be likely that bots just clamber on out like the Primes did, but considering how fricking long that fall was for Orion, I have my doubts. Personally, I'm thinking this continuity probably is going the hotspot route where bots just kinda pop out of the ground in certain places. They obviously aren't climbing since they weren't online for their T-cogs to be removed. That leads me to believe that they likely form in hotspots and are cultivated until they are ready to come online. This would give Sentinel plenty of time to do a little removal all easy peasy.

Cycles are years. Days are days.

Interesting take on time, but ultimately kind of useless on its own. Lots of human time terms are used, so it seems cycles is just in there for alien factor. A unique take all the same though. I like it.

Primus is mentioned and acknowledged, but there is no mention of Unicron whatsoever.

It's really quite fascinating, but not particularly surprising considering the setting TF One takes place in. Many bots are uneducated, and with the fall of the Primes, it could very well be that no one knows about Unicron anymore because the threat he posed paled in comparison to the Quintessons. It could also be that Sentinel might have had any records about him removed in order to keep the population afraid of one threat, rather than many. It's not as thought Sentinel can deny Primus exists. But Unicron? Can't see it? No need to believe it. Still, it will be fun to see if Unicron ever comes up.

The war with the Quintessons is stated to have gone on for thousands of cycles, and yet there are few ruins. Just how devastating was it? How powerful are the Primes?

I am of the belief that long ago, Cybertron was an empire. There were cities everywhere and the surface was most likely covered in defenses. Most likely, the Quintessons whittled away at Cybertron's surface population, hence the war going on for so long and the people retreating underground into their creator's shell. The Primes appear to be powerful, but they were most likely scattered across the surface to try and limit the damage done by the enemy. The war was likely very close to be lost after millennia of being continually under siege when the Primes finally fell. In a sense, Sentinel likely did buy Cybertron time, but he also doomed them by destroying what history they had that might have helped them.

Are there other cities on Cybertron? There has to be, considering how large the planet is, but the offered energon to the Quintessons tells a different story. What happened?

We don't have enough information to make a good guess, but I personally believe, as stated above, that most cities were likely wiped out. Those who survived fled underground, meaning that most cities are either few and far between, or they are so sprawling that 'Iacon' encompasses far more area that we are led to believe. The offering of energon could have possibly been so small because it has been so long. Maybe, once upon a time, the offerings were far larger since more cities could bring energon in. It's hard to tell.

Is Cybertron in a post apocalyptic state?

I think so. Considering the ruins on the surface, the suppression of the masses, and the struggle to get energon, I do think that Cybertron is sitting in such a state when the movie is happening. The setting scene in Transformers One, and Iacon in particular, appear to be the last gasp of a dying race after what could have been a siege lasting up to thousands upon thousands of years.

T-cogs evidently have a certain amount of biological alteration involved in their acquisition.

This can be seen in Megatron when he takes Megatronus Prime's T-cog. Personally, I think this says something about the use of a T-cog. Some appear to be more suited toward combat whilst others have other uses. It appears to be Cybertron's version of the genetic lottery, since up until one gets a T-cog, it seems as though it is quite impossible to determine alt-mode or abilities. Look at Jazz. He didn't get his little door wings until after he got his T-cog. This has a lot of implications for T-cog inheritance too. Is that a thing that can happen? Does it affect various bots differently? Many many questions.

Does the T-cog have an effect on the mentality of those who inherit it? Was Alpha Trion aware of this when he chose which T-cogs to give to the crew?

I honestly think it's impossible to know at the moment. We don't have enough lore to make a solid assessment. But I would like to think it at least has some effect on the bot in question when they get a T-cog that was not originally theirs. Again, look at Megatron. Maybe Alpha Trion selected the Primes with the most adaptability for a reason. Perhaps some of those latent traits present themselves in their new wielders. I don't know, but I would very much like to.

Cogless bots are essentially children.

They are smaller, slower, and from the looks of it, less liable to fight against those larger than them (although that could just be common sense.) They don't appear to be less intelligent or anything, but I do imagine the T-cog is a sort of wakeup protocol for bots. It diversifies them, allowing for specialization. So yeah, from the looks of things, they might as well be children frame wise.

No noticeable spark chambers. Instead, we have the slot for T-cogs.

I find it downright fascinating that instead of having a way to expose their sparks, the TF One bots instead expose their slot for their T-cog. There's not a ton I can gather from this lore except for the fact that this must mean sparks are likely farther into the frame and more protected, and like a human heart, probably not meant to be seen.

(Also the smut writers are going to have to get creative)

There are different Primes this time around. Still Thirteen of them, but a few old and new faces from various continuities.

I have no clue what it implies for the most part, but from the looks of it, we aren't going to have an IDW/TFP Arisen any time soon. All the Primes are named, have faces, and are confirmed to be dead. There's no mystery here about some secret resurrection Prime goofing around in the background. I like it personally, even if it does limit the more mythological aspects that could be present in this new continuity.

There don't appear to be any sort of familiar or mentor-mentee social structures on Cybertron. We also don't see anyone who acts young enough to possibly be newly forged. Does this mean everyone comes online with basic knowledge? Or are they put through bootcamp before even entering society?

Again, I'm thinking the bots are raised like cabbage patch kids, grown and watched over wherever they form until they come online. Then, most likely, the cogless just kinda figure it out, IDW style. Same goes for the rest of the population.

How are the cogless selected for their fate? Is it random since Sentinel removed their T-cogs before they even came online?

It's a good question that I would like the answer to. Most likely, it's a numbers game. Special traits don't appear to present until a bot gets their alt-mode, leading me to believe that the cogless are selected based purely off how many miners are needed at the time.

D-16 gained a weapon via being angry. Do all bots have that? Is it a stress response? Or is D-16 special like that?

Again, the T-cog question. It feels like it's related to biology somehow, but I don't have enough info to make a solid guess.

The Matrix is referred to as an entity. Why is that?

No bloody clue but I really hope the dang thing talks or has some sort of unique ability aside from being an extra battery that gives Optimus a really cool axe.

The bots have eyelids and tongues.

It makes sense that they have them. I just think it's neat.

Some bots have real names. Other do not.

I have no clue what this implies, but I am running under the assumption that there is either a criteria to meet to get a name, or bots just pick their names and roll with it.

The Ending + Implications

(How I think things will go from here in future films.)

The ending scene was ridiculous and felt chucked in there above all else (note: I am referring to everything after the t-cogs are distributed). However, it did offer a hint of insight into what is coming in the future.

Based on what Transformers One presented, and the fact that it has been stated that it will (if all goes well) be part of a trilogy, I have a few predictions for the coming films. Of course this is all speculation because the movie ended on a rather open ended note without much foreshadowing for what is to come, at least on the surface. So take this as my musings above all else.

Firstly, the Quintessons are going to be removed or otherwise sidelined as a threat. Optimus's line regarding the Quintessons at the end of the film leads me to believe that they were more of a plot device than anything else, and I expect them to become even less prominent going forward. I simply cannot see them being the BBEG of the trilogy considering the layout of the movie. Although it is very possible that they could serve as a minor antagonist to push the war along in later films.

If things continue as they are and the creators keep to the origin story vibe, then I see the second movie as likely focusing heavily on the war and its rapid fall into sheer chaos. I expect it to be fast paced, just like Transformers One. So quite likely, it will be a series of battles, schemes, and Megatron marching his armies while Optimus desperately tries to rally his people and fight back.

The second movie will probably be split between Autobot and Decepticon perspectives, Avengers Civil War style if I had to guess.

We will likely see Megatron gathering troops and capturing territory while Optimus fortifies what land Sentinel previously controlled in order to try and limit conflict (and promptly fail).

Optimus will go through some arc or another that gets him to fight seriously, but considering this is Optimus, he is probable to maintain his attitude of 'I can fix him' at least to an extent. Although, considering how he sent Megatron away, we may be surprised going forward.

We are going to be introduced to key Autobot and Decepticon characters throughout the second movie. Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Arcee, and others. Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, and the rest will likely get actual development.

There will probably be at least one peace talk that goes south the instant Optimus dares to breathe in Megatron's general direction.

Elita is bound to get more screen time than she deserves.

Bumblebee will earn his name and either have his voice taken from him, or he will end up forcefully silenced through some other means, perhaps a vow or trauma. Depends on how mature the creators want to make him in the future.

Megatron will probably end up seeing Orion as having died in some capacity, either that, or he will see everything Optimus stands for as a betrayal of their shared history and a insult to the suffering of the cogless.

The third movie will likely end with both factions abandoning Cybertron during a great exodus (if they are trying to follow G1/comic canon vaguely.) I simply don't see the films moving to Earth since that's been seriously overused over the past twenty or so years.

I anticipate the introduction and or the alteration of previously well known characters throughout all the films. Since the creators have been willing to adjust the origin as much as they have, nothing is off the table.

Those are all the predictions I can make at the moment considering there has been very little to work with foreshadowing wise.

My Suggested Adjustments

(My thoughts for an ideal TF One which stays within the time limit, keeps to the established plot & acknowledges the future existence of more films.)

Now, again, before I begin my edit rant, I will try my very best to keep to the plot of the film and not go off track. I will be offering edits, not a rewrite (yet). Also, most of this is just musing and things I would like to see, not professional writing. Take with a grain of salt. That said, here's what I would adjust.

I would add a few lines of dialogue during D-16 and Orion's chat on the train to hint at Orion having a fascination with the surface and/or skeptic attitude toward what they've been told backed with a desire to check things out for himself. This would be just to build a little extra character. Additionally, during their chat, D-16 can remind Orion that the surface is dangerous not only because of the Quints, but because the traitors are up there. The wild High Guard, now gone mad. Orion can wave him off, stating he's not going to become like Starscream before moving onto his discussion about how he has a feeling like he's meant for something greater. The conversation can then continue as normal.

Remove Elita from the mining scene in the beginning. Have someone like Ironhide be the team leader so that his gruff personality can really drive home just how dangerous their job is before they even get started. Instead of Elita's rant, Ironhide can again remind his group about the risks of their work and maybe even discuss how someone got his or her lower half crushed in the last tunnel collapse. The group can then rush to get to work, with D-16 and Orion being all buddy buddy about it. D-16 and Orion can greet a few of their fellows, maybe assisting a bit in order to bring in more familiar faces. A brief pause can occur for Elita to look down on the group from her position overseeing things. She and Orion can share a brief look/nod/salute/gesture that D-16 can then mock and Orion can use to remind his brother in arms that Elita is an old friend, nothing more thing less. Elita can then call down, ordering them to get a move on before they get in trouble. Ironhide can then get the group hustling into the tunnel. This would solidify Elita's place of power while also introducing other characters and the harshness of the work.

The mining scene can go on as usual, but when the rescue happens, Elita can jump down and order Orion and D-16 back, maybe yelling something like: "Pax, D-16, pull back! I won't ruin my record with three deaths in one day!" in order to cement her deep care for her position. And once they make it out safely, Elita can check Jazz over for a moment before getting in Orion's face, D-16 probably trying to not be involved. There they can share some dialogue that shows Elita's exasperation with him, but also her fondness. Perhaps something like this:

"How many times have we done this Orion? I can't keep letting you break protocol!"

"Even to save a few lives?"

"We are miners. Danger is part of the job. Your recklessness is a liability."

"Even though it saved you from that tunnel collapse last cycle?"

"That is beside the point Orion, and you know it. You really need to develop some self-preservation skills."

Then of course Darkwing can jump down and fire Elita, only this time instead of being as sudden as it was in the original TF One, Elita can instead be fired for letting Orion and D-16 off yet again AND sustaining an injury to her team (RIP Jazz's leg). She can fight back, saying that lives were saved despite the breech of protocol. Darkwing can then shoot her down again even when Orion steps up to try and take the blame. This way, Elita can have the final straw moment with Orion, her expression being bitter as she has her rank badge ripped off. Her dialogue with Darkwing can hint that this is not the first time she's let things slide, hence the demotion. She can look at Orion and D-16 in sheer anger, shaking with rage as she murmurs about how hard she worked for this position before shoving past both of them. This would make her less agitating as a character but still give her ample room for snark and anger while maintaining a connection to our main cast.

When Sentinel gives his message to the people, D-16 can get just as excited TF One canon, but Orion can be a bit skeptical. The scene with Elita can influence him, making whatever skeptical nature he'd developed all the more real. Perhaps, as a bonus, Sentinel mentions that the winner of this race will get to request something from him/get a new rank. Seeing this, Orion will then want to get in both to try and prove a point, and to hopefully make it so that he can get himself and those closest to him to a high enough rank to make a difference. His hope could be that if they won, he could request better oversight in the mines and a chance to show their grievances. D-16 can still, of course, not want to be involved when Orion implores him to try and be something greater.

The race scene can stay as is, only changing to show Soundwave AND Arachnid by Sentinel's side. But when the duo are in the med bay, Ratchet can come by to fix these two idiots up. Instead of being cogless, he can be one of the higher ranked bots and perhaps serve Sentinel personally. While Orion and D-16 have their little banter session, he can work on them and probably tell them to shut up before the Prime arrives. Perhaps he also comments on their poor repair, wondering if the mines have medics. D-16 and Orion can state that they do not, earning Ratchet's anger since he assumed they at least had basic health care. Maybe he even tells them to watch their mouths, or perhaps praising them for their stupidity and being mildly in awe of it. This could set him up as an ally later.

The discussion with Sentinel can go as it does in canon, but when he leaves with Arachnid, it can be Soundwave who is ordered to 'remove' them. Soundwave can hesitate, looking at the duo and then at Ratchet would could try to object since he would know what is coming. Soundwave, ever the loyal aid to his Prime, could then call Darkwing in to take D-16 and Orion to their fate. Soundwave can even look genuinely upset at the scene, his fists all clenched up as the duo cry out in confusion. Ratchet can curse, and the scene can end with our two heroes being thrown down to sub-level fifty where no one without an alt mode with wings can escape.

Down in sub-level fifty, it can be a horror show. A huge set of incinerators where huge conveyor belts are transporting waste to the fires without end. Maybe there are even a handful of bodies amongst the mix, miners and other cogless. D-16 can continue to believe it must have been some huge mixup, perhaps getting all angry about it before B-127 appears from the rubbish, looking terrifying and scuttling over to them. He can get all up in their faces, maybe touching them to ensure they are in fact alive before his mask lifts and he goes right into being himself. He can have his nickname moment, but it can be mixed in with him showing the duo around the fires, giving them some warnings like:

"Don't mess with the bodies, those tend to be infected."

"Watch where you step! Don't want to miss energon by accident. It's rare down here!"

"With you two here, I won't have to worry about accidentally ending up on the conveyors while recharging!"

B-127 can ramble for a bit, much to our duo's horror. Then he can show them his makeshift residence, made of trash and other things. Inside can be all sorts of wacky things, including STEVE. As he's showing off his collection and gleefully pointing out things from various cities he's found, D-16 can marvel at a few of the older wartime relics Bee has and Orion can sift through Bee's stack of random reading and viewing material. As D-16 tries to smile through B-127's eager explanations of how he found things, Orion can note the symbol of the Primes on one of the small disks B-127 has. Bee can notice and exclaim how he found it on the body of someone from the High Guard forever ago. At that, D-16 can recoil, but Orion can turn the disk on.

The message can be revealed as normal, and again, Orion can convince D-16 to go despite the threat. Being trapped underground, they decide to give it a shot. B-127 sadly points out that he's been down in the sublevels for actual cycles and he's never been able to get out, not without a T-cog. At this point, he can show off his damaged T-cog, taking it from one of his shelves for all to see. The duo can be quite confused as Bee states that he came online with it broken, mentioning how he felt someone trying to mess with it before he was thrown into the sublevels. Orion's suspicions can grow, D-16 can become more adamant that something OTHER than Sentinel is going on here, and from there, they can use B-127's things and tools to work their way out. Perhaps they construct a grappling gun, or otherwise use old material to tower their way up to a vent on the far wall. D-16 can undo all the screws with some difficulty as the conveyor belts below them threaten to drag them into the fires. But with time, they can quickly crawl their way out, perhaps with D-16 grabbing Bee before he can fall back into the rubble below.

From there, Orion can use his knowledge of all things underhanded to begin guiding them up toward the surface. D-16 can add his input by feeling for wind currents and whatnot. All the while, B-127 can tell them he's heard of a train depot nearby, considering maps and other things that fell into the rubble with him + shaking over head occasionally.

Once they get to the depot, they can try to join the masses of miners loading up the train carts. Attempting to blend in, they grab grates and try to move quietly and just, not emerge from the train once they get on it since they know its heading to the surface. But as they are waiting to load, they encounter Elita. She engages with them, attempting to stop them as a form of retribution and even arguing that she's saved their hides one too many times. Orion, despite his respect for her, pushing his group on. They push past Elita, discarding stealth in favor of leaping into the train before it can take off. Elita, still upset and desperate to stop them from causing more harm, throws herself in after them with the intent to stop them. The doors close before she can, and in anger, she pauses, and books it toward the front of the train to try and halt it. Being smaller and nimble, she dodges attempts to grab at her, even knocking a crate over which hits Orion. As they make it to the surface of the train, D-16 and Orion lag behind, but B-127 manages to slow Elita down by grabbing her leg long enough for Orion to also pull himself up and grab her arm before she can hit them.

Then the traintop scene can play out as normal.

Once they are thrown to the ground, Elita can still get up in Orion's face, but instead of losing her cool, she can instead grab him, take a few breathes, and say something along the lines of this:

"Orion, since they day we met, you've been a thorn in my side. Always getting me intro trouble whenever you decide to run off with your go-bot buddies and make a scene."

"I know. And I'm sorry. But this... this is beyond any of that. We could find the Matrix, Elita. We could do what Sentinel hasn't been able to. We can save our home."

"And that is the only reason I haven't tried to punch you yet, Pax. But if this mission of yours fails, if this is all some grand hoax, I'm taking you and your pals back to Iacon and getting my rank returned to me."

"That's fine, because I quite firmly believe that this is the real deal."

"It better be, or you can bet your bolts I'm never going to let you live this down."

"I wouldn't expect anything else."

Orion and Elita share a moment of reconciliation before they both look over the map together. Leaning on each other for support as they follow the coordinates. All the while, D-16 and B-127 comment on the scenery, and helping their group avoid various hazards. D-16 might even note how there aren't an High Guard rebels, a fact that leaves him suspicious, especially as the group passes through increasingly frequent ruins, all inhabited by the bodies of bots who bear the symbol of the High Guard, or the long dismantled old Cybertronian army. D-16 might even see how it seems as though a few of the High Guard were actively trying to defend civilians, as evidenced by the bodies. This leaves him thoughtful, less angry.

There should be a few flashes of the group taking cover as strange creatures move on the surface. B-127 can pause to gather up some abandoned weaponry from an old base, earning commentary from Elita-One about how she never knew they once had so many cities on the surface. It should be a somewhat solemn march, and as they go, they can practice with their haphazard firearms by shooting as various targets to acquire what energon they can and to scare off random creatures. Orion notes the cities they pass through, listing off names he's read in the archives and being saddened by the fact that they lost so much. D-16 becomes more and more upset as they go, seeing the bodies and wondering why Sentinel hasn't recollected abandoned resources or otherwise given the dead a bit of respect in light of the fact that they haven't seen a single enemy so far.

The scene running from the Quintesson scanner can continue as normal, and the group can rush to the cave as they watch the huge ship loom overhead. The cave scene can also continue as normal, only this time, the group can be even more distraught since they've seen the remnants of their old empire and already have doubts. Awakening Alpha Trion can go as normal, as can Sentinel's discussion with the Quintessons.

D-16 and Orion can get into a slightly more heated debate than normal when they return. Orion exclaims his desire to have the people get their justice, making sure everyone knows their loss. D-16 can agree, but their argument can occur when Orion makes it clear that the people come before getting revenge on Sentinel. This does not go over well with D-16, and although Elita and B-127 attempt to step in, Orion and D-16 begin to argue more furiously until at last, Alpha Trion steps up and pushes them apart gently. Probably saying something like:

"Primus has a plan for all his creations. Do not judge too quickly, instead, act with wisdom and foresight."

Trion can offer the values of his fallen brethren, encouraging D-16 to act as Megatronus Prime would, as a guardian of the people, their voice and their sword. In turn, he can urge Orion to follow after Prima or Zeta, telling him to use his noble spark to be a voice of reason. He might turn to the Elita and B-127, but then he notes that they are low on time. From here, Trion can give the group the T-cogs of the fallen Primes and hurriedly usher them out as Arachnid draws near. The escape progresses as normal, and Orion and D-16 again have their debate. Orion stands his ground a bit longer, showing a hint of anger. But remembering Alpha Trion's words, he consoles himself and D-16 by stating that he trusts D-16, which in turn diffuses the tension.

The group can move quietly, with Elita being solemn and B-127 a bit shaken up. Orion and D-16 discuss what they plan to do as Elita watches for enemy units and B-127 hurries ahead to scout. As they talk, it becomes clear that Orion wants to rally the people and spread the truth first and foremost. Meanwhile, D-16 wants to strike hard and fast, a tactful assault meant to end Sentinel. They can worry about the truth later in his mind. They argue for a while, and as they fight, Orion can get a bit aggressive, leading D-16 to push him. As they tussle, they end up tumbling, and despite both B-127 and Elita telling them to shush and trying to pry them apart, the group are unable to evade the High Guard soldiers that surround them. they aren't given a chance to fight back before Shockwave orders their capture.

The scene with Sentinel and Alpha Trion can go as normal.

The group can wake to Shockwave assessing them, noting that their T-cogs are not biologically theirs. He finds this interesting, and since they are of interest, he prepares to remove said T-cogs/perform other surgeries to see if they are a new flavor of spy. D-16's fears are confirmed for a moment, up until Skywarp and Thundercracker stop him, ordering Shockwave to bring the prisoners to Starscream. The name rattles the group, causing them all to bunch up in momentary fear. But when they are brought before him, Starscream looks at them all in intrigue. He questions them, asking why they were on the surface at all since its essentially a barren wasteland. Shockwave points out their T-cogs, and Starscream finds it suspicious. Skywarp and Thundercracker guard the group, one with a gun to B-127's helm to keep him quiet.

Starscream steps before the group, scarred and battered, maybe even a little sickly looking from lack of energon. The rest of his soldiers aren't much better. He assesses the group before concluding that they aren't spies, merely newbuilds who got too curious for their own good. Not wanting them to go back and spill the beans about the High Guard, Starscream offers them a place as soldiers in his ranks, confirming that they fought against Sentinel, not the Primes. He also makes it clear that he will require the group's information regarding energon, that being his major reason for keeping them at all.

At his point, D-16 can step up, angry and unwilling to serve another false prophet. He refuses to bow to a mech who fled, and then their battle goes on as normal. D-16 proceeds to hold Starscream captive, stopping Thundercracker and Skywarp, Starscream's lieutenants, from acting and ordering the rest to attack. He declares his desire to fight, to strike back against the enemy while they still can. He points out their weakness, their lack of energon, and describes his experiences in the mines. Knowing they served the Primes, D-16 repeats the tenants of Megatronus Prime taught to him by Alpha Trion, rallying the High Guard. The High Guard, seeing his passion, and after watching him beat down a few more bots eager to stop him, agree to follow his lead. Starscream is allowed to live, only because Orion steps up and grabs D-16's blaster. They have a moment of tension, but it fades as D-16 throws Orion off and declares that he knows the mines and can guide them in for an assault on Sentinel. The High Guard, having little to lose and finally having a chance to fight, are eager to serve.

Orion can then step up, upset that D-16 cares more about vengeance than the truth. D-16 states that they can share the truth later, once Sentinel is dead. Elita steps up to calm Orion, urging him to not be rash and compromise. B-127 attempts a similar method with D-16 and urging him to at least take time to plan. Orion and D-16 do not back down, and just as Orion asks for them to at least take time to discuss things, the attack from Arachnid occurs.

The battle goes as normal, but in its aftermath, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave remain, along with about half their troops. Elita tries to get Orion up and going, reminding him of how his nature has saved bots time and time again in the mines, and how his instincts brought them there, to their newfound truth. She comforts him with a quick hug, urging him to get back up now that they have information to spread and friends to save. Orion agrees, and speaks with Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave. He bargains temporary leadership by offering the same information D-16 had, the way into Iacon. The High Guard are hesitant, but they follow if only to have one final hit at Sentinel before their end. They are all sickly anyway, and Thundercracker can note that without Starscream, they don't have much motivation anyway.

The group can board up on a train that passes by, throwing out the crates and loading soldiers instead. Elita takes control of the bridge with the help of Shockwave who guides her through security protocols. When asked how he can do that, he simply states that he once served Sentinel, keeping it vague and maybe stating he was his head scientist at one point and that his credentials are still valid since he was assumed dead. It could be something like that. And Shockwave can get them past security without issue. Thundercracker and or Skywarp rally the troops as Orion leaps from the train, making his way toward the mines.

There, he can speak to his fellows. Covered in soot, grime, and ash, he can hold a gun given to him by Skywarp before his leap, and he can make his grand speech. There, the miners are hesitant even after being told the truth. But Ironhide and Jazz can step up, offering their belief and support. Seeing that, other faces from the mining scene earlier in the film come forward, willing to fight. Orion tells them to gather up their tools, to fight for their freedom, and from there, the miners also raise concerns about their wounds. At that point, Ratchet can step forward, stating that he can help. Orion is in awe, but is even more shocked when he gets word that Soundwave of all bots is offering aid and supplies. More soldiers join the miners, eager to fight. Ratchet can smile, picking up a pistol and declaring that he, Soundwave, and a few others have had enough of turning a blind eye to the injustices committed by Sentinel and his kind.

D-16's interaction with Sentinel goes as normal, although Starscream does pipe up along with B-127, attempting to save D-16 neck as he refuses to bow. After Sentinel carves the symbol and Arachnid points out their incoming enemies, the scene can shift to show cogless, not cogless, and High Guard soldiers alike all pouring onto the premises. Sentinel can demand to know why their defenses are lowered, turning to Soundwave in anger. Soundwave for his part can then betray Sentinel openly, showing his distaste and getting a solid punch in before he's thrown across the room. On the ground, Ironhide can be seen directing soldiers alongside a future Decepticon of choice, perhaps the Stunticons or Constructicons help him tear down some walls or other defenses. Ratchet can also be seen working with a few of the cogless and offering covering fire as Jazz and Prowl rush forward to get in a few potshots with their far too large weapons.

The battle progresses as normal, and Orion manages to get the truth out as per usual. The scenes shift to show bots all across the city swarming in anger, breaking things and fighting anything or anyone that looks like they might follow Sentinel. Elita and B-127 celebrate and Orion orders them to go assist with controlling the assault in order to capture Sentinel's followers and limit the chaos. They agree and rush off, but Orion soon finds himself in the battle with D-16 and Sentinel.

The Fall goes as normal, only having a bit more aggression on Orion's part as he pleads with his best friend, begging him to at least wait until the people can judge Sentinel themselves. They are fighting for freedom of choice, and he tries to dissuade his friend for D-16's sake. Unfortunately, the Fall goes as planned, and D-16 lets Orion drop after he comes to the conclusion that it would be better for Orion to die here than to witness what he's going to do next. He may even tell Orion as such, calling it a mercy. Then, he lets him fall.

Megatron rises as normal, and Orion is brought to Primus's core. There he hears whispers, contrasting Megatron's speech. Orion hears the Primes speaking to him, each murmuring softly and quietly showing him visions of times gone by between him and D-16, a final goodbye of sorts. Then, it ends with the Matrix bestowed, and Optimus Prime is born as a chorus of voices calls his name. He rises to the surface as Megatron starts shooting at Elita and B-127, Soundwave joining him along with Starscream who covers his back. More future Decepticons rally around him, helping him in his rampage while the cogless and Ratchet try to limit the crossfire. It all ends as Optimus Prime comes forth.

Their battle can then progress as normal, with Megatron being banished. Optimus can still be sorrowful, but something hardens in his gaze as he turns away from where Megatron fled. He had his moment to let go when he took the Matrix, and now he's ready for war. He gathers his allies, looking over the devastation and up toward the surface. Elita comforts him quietly with a smile and a hand on his shoulder. B-127 notes Optimus's new height and points out the people below, the cogless all watching in awe. Elita encourages him to speak, and Optimus does just that, rallying his people one more time with encouragement and a declaration that they must move onward, to reclaim their freedom and their world.

He raises the Matrix high, and energon again flows. The people are thrilled, and soon they each begin to step closer to the streams of energon. The cogless lean close, and their T-cogs are returned to them. The movie closes with Optimus's narration about how their battle is not yet over, and how it has merely begun. All the while, Optimus is shown getting his people in line, Elita standing proudly by his side as he begins to organize his troops. Ratchet smiles and pats him on the shoulder, Ironhide flexes and picks up a blaster, Jazz gleefully flutters his door wings. The people salute and cheer as Optimus passes. The scene then changes to Megatron with the High Guard, rebuilding their destroyed ship. Megatron welcomes new recruits from Iacon into his ranks.

Everything ends with the two leaders looking up toward the surface, ending with Optimus overlooking their world and seeing a Quintesson ship flying away as he gives his closing narration.

This is roughly how I would adjust the movie, minus all the itty bittie things that would have to be brought up with the animators and voice actors. But plot wise, these are my adjustments. It would lay the groundwork for future films and also establish character lore early. So yeah, enjoy my take.

Arguments Against My Critiques

(Q&A against Strawmen. More of a joke than anything else don't take it too seriously.)

The movie is aimed toward a younger audience. You shouldn't be so serious with your review.

The movie had Megatron quite literally tear a mech in half. On screen. No cuts. It also dealt with the slaughter of actual Primes and touched dark themes like slavery and the beginnings of an Orwellian society on Cybertron. Sure, it had jokes and gags aimed at younger audiences, but this film was created with so many Easter eggs and callbacks that I cannot find it in myself to believe the creators were aiming for a children's film. They made it for Transformers, a franchise forty years old. When messing with such an old franchise that has always touched delicate and serious themes throughout all its media, you have to consider old and new fans alike.

Thus, I feel no inclination to be nice in my assessment. This is a film that's trying to reach all Transformers fans, so I will assess it as a full and proper movie.

The studio only had 75 million dollars and a tight time limit for the film. Can't a few allowances for pacing issues be made?

No, no allowances cannot be made. A good piece of media should be able to stand on its own, and a well constructed film should be capable of cutting excess fat in order to keep the movie on track. Transformers One was trying to do the seemingly impossible by shoving an entire origin story in one film. While I think it was possible to have been done tastefully, as seen by the glorious scenes spread throughout the film, they failed to make the pacing make sense.

They had roughly and hour and forty minutes to make their story happen, and far too much of that time was spent on meaningless characters and scenes. If that time was reallocated, the film could have dealt with much of its pacing problems. It probably wouldn't fix everything considering the tight timeframe for such rich characters, but it was doable.

Additionally, 75 million is MORE than enough to make a quality film. I doubt funds were an issue here. Although they might be going forward.

Orion was in a state of shock and couldn't be expected to act perfectly considering the situation. And D-16 anger made perfect sense so there is no need to criticize them both so harshly.

I partially agree. I can't judge them too much because on their own, these traits of theirs are expected and in fact, good for their development. Unfortunately, due to the pacing, D-16's combustive rage and Orion's passiveness came off as rushed and somewhat childish on both Orion and D-16's side. I judge them harshly because their arcs feel like whiplash, or in Orion's case, unfinished. I'm willing to give D-16 a little room because his arc actually arced, it did its thing and finished in a convincing manner (disregarding the pacing). But Orion? Nah. I judge him and D-16 because they could have been so much more given TIME.

The plot wasn't that bad. The progression made sense on paper and each shift in the narrative led into the next scene without much trouble.

I'm sure it did! I really am! If I were writing a novel with this plot, it would make sense when blocked out! But the presentation of an idea is what defines it. Transformers One had a perfectly acceptable outline, I'm sure. But the pacing threw the entire thing into a blender and topped it with mustard and kale. Because of the pacing, the plot itself started to fall apart, especially with excess bloating in the form of unneeded scenes and characters. It's a shame since I'm certain that given enough time and proper progression, the jerky scene shifts could have been made spectacular.

The High Guard could have worked. They really could have. But they needed foreshadowing and time. The same goes for a lot of things in Transformers One.

Why are you so harsh with Elita-One? She finally got some spotlight and had a chance to shine!

A shiny turd is still a turd. Next question.

You can't expect every background character to have depth or for there to be a thousand cities for the cast to traverse.

True enough! But to that, all I can say is: Environmental factors.

I don't need to see Kaon, Tarn, Helex, Uraya, Polyhex, Rodion, or any of the other cities seen in various Transformers lore to know they exist and feel the world is bigger (And if they don't exist in TF One then it would be a great hint at the horrors inflicted by the Quints to state that there are no other cities anymore). All it would have taken was a bit of background lore and attention to detail to make me and other viewers feel like there's more to Cybertron than a cave, a field, and a city. A few posters on the walls, some background chatter from side characters, maybe even Bumblebee mimicking various accents from around Cybertron since he's meant to be comic relief. Heck, just show various flashes of bots in other cities being shooketh during the big reveal with Sentinel and suddenly the world feels so much more lived in.

And for characters? I don't need Soundwave's entire biography to feel he's rich. Look at Arachnid. I know next to nothing about her but she feels alive. All the side characters needed were important side roles and a few actions worthy of note. Think of TFP Soundwave who hardly ever centered but was always there. Always doing something to assist the main story. It really shouldn't be that hard to make a world feel alive. Just attention to detail.

Why does the voice actor for Orion/Optimus matter so much? What's the point in focusing so much on it?

It matters because there is a distinct change between Orion Pax and Optimus Prime. Frankly, you could have anyone be Orion because Orion is the origin. But when it comes time for him to grow, to become more? That's when its time to put on a warface and give Optimus Prime a voice that matches the name. Optimus Prime isn't just a name, it's a title, it's a long string of powerful characters each showcasing empathy and strength in equal measure. If Optimus's voice is not distinctive or powerful, his resonance as a character is seriously damaged. Now why don't I share this opinion for Megatron? Because Megatron doesn't have a frickin relic in his chest. Megatron is a voice for the people. Megatron is the embodiment of strife and anguish. His rage and his passion is what gives him distinction, not necessarily the commanding tone of his voice.

It's a difference in character that makes me care so much about the voices for Orion Pax and Optimus Prime so much.

Why bother with such a long review at all?

Because Transformers One is the first not-garbage to come out in over a decade. (No, I do not like Earthspark. That's a whole other animal and I don't think I'd have the willpower to actually watch the thing again for a review of this length.)

I want to give this film the respect it deserves by showing my every thought for it. I want to show people that despite all its good and bad features, its still something to think about and acknowledge. I don't want something this groundbreaking for our beloved franchise to go down the drain because people were too apathetic to care or too blinded by new content to use their brains and help develop better things going forward.

Final Note

(Best film ever? No. Great addition to the Transformers Franchise? Yes.)

Transformers One was a masterclass in setting a scene and establishing relationships. Everything in the first ten to fifteen minutes of film was brilliant in regards to setting up the world and our main characters. Even if I weren't a Transformers fan, I would care about the brotherhood between Orion and D-16, or at least understand it. The visuals were stunning but not too intrusive and the film was clearly made with love. The characters that were given screen time were fleshed out as much as they could be considering the constraints. And while a great many things were very out of place and made no sense logically, at least within the rapid fire time frame that is the film, the overall movie was enjoyable right up until the meeting with the High Guard, at which point things became a bit contrived.

The plot was whack considering the film's short run time. Some things were very janky. The Quintessons weren't shown nearly enough or given sufficient presence. But again, lots of this was just a side effect of not having enough time to get things rolling slowly and properly as they should have been. It was a kick back, binge on popcorn, and scream at Easter eggs type movie.

If you want something colorful to look at and a half decent set of characters to enjoy, go right on ahead and watch TF One. You certainly won't rot braincells like you would watching some of the Bay films, but I can't in good concious say that TF One is better than older things like Prime. It is a brilliant concept that needed more time. It needed probably a two and a half to three hour runtime to set up, to get the ball rolling in a meaningful manner, and to establish the broken friendships and rivalries in a far more intimate manner. The concepts are lovely, the scenes are well done, but its a pity that it was cut so short and so many things were shoved together when they could have shone on their own in the proper setting.

There was so much there, and yet so much missing. So many pieces that fit well and yet so much more that was cast aside altogether. It is an imperfect thing, but this movie isn't a bad introduction or addition to the Transformers franchise, not in the slightest. Its a new start, a chance to make things better for this fandom and its abysmal run of bad movie after bad movie developed in Bay explosion style topped with far too much emphasis on humanity.

I believe that while TF One isn't going to be my personal favorite, or even the next big thing for the time being, it sets a new standard. No longer can we be fed garbage, because now we've been given a chance to look at something better. Hopefully, TF One will set the groundwork and foundation for far better films and shows going forward, giving this fandom new life and redeeming our sullied name as the big explosion robot fanatics.

TF One is flawed, but its a start. It's a fledgling attempt to make something new and interesting in a show business that is dead set on killing creativity and squashing anything of quality in an attempt to press an ideology. It is the baby steps shown by people who care. People who want to see the movies they never got. I will not fault it or the creators for existing. It may not be Lord of the Rings, War for Cybertron, Transformers Prime, the comics, or other big names, but it is a hope for the future.

It's not a bad movie. It was simply born in a bad time.

With that said, I'd recommend watching it at least once, if only to get a glimpse of what we have gotten and to have hope for what we might get going forward. I certainly intend to fill in holes with fanfiction, but that's just part of fandom, is it not? Enjoy this new piece of media, but don't take it too seriously. It's flawed just like everything else, but can be taken for what gifts it brings.

"We could have built the future together."

"I'll build it myself, after I tear down everyone in my way."

[erodasfishtacos]

Boredom & Blind Dates [pt I]

summary: yn is a good friend, who's willing to go on a blind date so that her friend can try to pull the man of her dreams. the new bigshot doctor at the hospital she's works. the dinner isnt as charming as she hoped

word count: 5k

warnings: angst

author's note: hii! this was based off a request. the rest will be posted on patreon and there’s already another part up :)

You can subscribe for $3 USD a month here

+

Victoria was a friend that YN had made in college when they were both studying completely opposite majors but happened to be roomed in the same two-bed dorm.

They clicked instantly and just like their majors, they were also exact opposite in their personalities too but it somehow just meshed perfectly together.

Victoria was a social butterfly who did not have a fear of being the center of attention, going after whoever she wanted (and typically pulling them), and her confidence was impressive.

Despite how smart Victoria was, she had a tendency to come off a bit ditzy, and has been called an air-head more than twice in YN’s presence.

The boys in more prestigious majors like law and medicine usually didn’t find her carefree attitude as appealing.

While Tori snagged the frat boys, YN steered clear of them which worked because they had never once had a crush on the same man.

After graduation, it only made sense to move in together because Seattle was a ridiculously overpriced city but their job wages were competitive.

Victoria was a nurse, she worked on a surgery recovery wing, and complained about her job constantly because of the crabby patients and long hours.

YN worked behind a desk all day, very rarely having to interact with anyone but if she did - it was all virtual from home.

She was the head accountant for a social media marketing company which was a pretty high position for the few years of experience she had.

YN had always been serious, more mature for her age, and always excelled above everyone else in her grade.

It hadn’t been a surprise when she was valedictorian or made summa cum laude in her undergraduate and masters degree with ease.

YN didn’t party, didn’t love socializing out in clubs but would go when Victoria pressured her enough to do so, and it was fine.

YN had been so involved in establishing her career, creating a successful life, and making a name for herself that she didn’t have time for the things Victoria did.

Dating app hookups, one night stands from the bar, and casual flings that only lasted a few weeks was how Tori rolled.

Typically, at least once a month, she was bawling to YN about the latest dickhead who treated her like she was disposable but kept going for the same type.

YN had empathy to an extent, always uncorked the wine and half-listened to her rants about chivalry being dead while she was still thinking about an account she needed to work on because the deadline was coming up.

YN liked to think she lived vicariously through Victoria’s stories which worked for her because then she didn’t have to experience those things herself.

+

YN had been sitting on the couch, laptop balanced on the wide arm as she scrolled through work emails while catching up on her guilty pleasure reality show.

It was nearly ten at night but she was waiting for a reply from a customer with a time difference, work could sometimes be a whole day and night ordeal.

There was no question that YN was uptight, rarely - if ever relaxed, and did not have much time for anything other than what put a hefty sum in her bank account every two weeks.

Victoria tumbled through the front door in a way that is uniquely her - like a hurricane.

Her keys jingling, her water bottle bumping and sloshing water as she drops her purse on the floor unceremoniously with a chapstick rolling out.

She tosses all of her items in a messy pile on the ground with her bag, kicking off her tennis shoes, and nearly prances into the living room.

YN blinks over at her, the excitement of her arrival was a routine now, she no longer gets annoyed that her best friend makes an entrance like that each time.

“Babe, guess what,” Victoria squeals as she sits down right next to her on the couch, still in her magenta colored scrubs and her mascara smudged near her eyes.

“What?” YN replies as she mindlessly clicks refresh in her email, wishing for this message with the information she needs to appear.

“Our new Chief of Medicine started today! He was the head of neurology at another hospital. A literal brain surgeon which, of course I’ve met others but he’s like…the best of the best. They write news articles about him, his studies in medical journals, he’s a big deal,” Victoria is still excited as she nearly bounces in her spot, shaking YN’s laptop.

YN puts a hand up to make sure her computer doesn’t topple, still nonplussed as she looks at her friend, “What does this have to do with you? Is it just because he’s famous in the medical world?”

“No, he’s fucking gorgeous too. I didn’t think you were allowed to be as smart as he is while looking like he just walked off a runway during Paris Fashion Week,” Tori giggles as her cheeks go a bit pink, “He’s the hottest doctor I’ve ever seen.”

“Tori,” YN sighs, clicking her refresh again - nothing, “Again, what is this information leading to?”

“Well I bumped into him today, literally, in the hallway. We spoke briefly, he was polite but serious, and I felt like he was flirting with me. I feel like I have a chance with him,” Her roommate tells her, that same confidence present as ever that she can pull this big shot doctor.

“Good luck with that. I’m sure he’s married with kids,” YN replies somewhat dismissively, unamused that this is how her friend spends her time.

“Nope,” Tori quips back happily, “I googled him. He just made the New York Times list as one of the most eligible bachelors in medicine. Single as they come.”

“I thought you didn’t want to date someone who also worked in medicine,” YN reminds her, clicking refresh once again to no results.

“He’s the exception. If I could settle down with a fuckin neurosurgeon, chief medical officer like come on that would be my biggest achievement,” Victoria pulls out her cell phone, tapping across the screen.

And YN just…cannot relate.

YN only fell in love once.

Where she could fantasize about a life with that person, marriage, kids, a house but it was all fantasy as they were never official in that way.

It was crushed and YN made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t let herself dream like that again.

“Do you want to see a picture?” Victoria asks as she looks for an image to show.

As a stroke of luck, YN’s work phone starts buzzing, and it’s the client she was waiting for to email her, “I’m sure he’s as attractive as you say, Tor. I have to take this.”

Her friend mumbles something about her being in a relationship with work which is honestly not that far off at this point.

However, it gives her an excuse to lock herself in her office for a few hours to avoid the ideas of love, Victoria’s fantasy world, and think about nothing but numbers and percentages.

+

The next few weeks blend together for YN.

Every few days she actually catches up on her work.

Every few days Victoria recounts her very purposefully crafted run-ins with the chief medical officer to shoot her shot.

Victoria has always been forward, asking bluntly for what she wants but with such a seemingly intimidating man, she finally has met her match.

Her roommate deems the doctor as ‘playing hard to get’ but YN starts to wonder if she’s imagining the spark between them or if it’s truly there.

She talks about times where the doctor flat out ignores her in the hallway but brushes it off that he was extremely busy on a pressing issue.

But then there are times where he will pull her aside, gently by the wrist and ask her about how her day was going, and appear to be interested in her answers.

YN loved her friend but was wildly uninterested in these events, the only thing that kept her curiosity lingering was if she was actually going to snag the head of the biggest hospital in Seattle.

She doesn’t hear much for a week or two.

At least three months have passed since the doctor started.

And this finally appears to be a payoff when Victoria comes home with her usual hurricane routine of leaving a trail of her belongings as she comes through the front door.

“Oh my god, oh my god. Close your laptop and look at me!” Victoria announces dramatically as she rushes over to the couch, taking it upon herself to close the lid of YN’s work computer.

“Tori,” YN scolds with a grumble, she really didn’t appreciate it when her friend interrupted her work flow in the middle of her meticulously constructing a report.

“Hush,” She replies, brushing off her concerns, and patting YN’s thighs, “I need the absolute biggest, most massive favor from you ever. And I really need you to agree, I’ll owe you for eternity.”

This didn’t sound good.

YN blinks at her, expression still unamused as ever.

“Okay. I am going on a date with the chief,” Victoria squeals, high-pitched and loud, “But it’s a double-date, he was telling me he’s looking for a date for his friend. I offered you and he invited us all to dinner at The National.”

Fancy.

And YN tries to settle the itching annoyance at her friend offering her up without her approval but unfortunately it was a very Victoria-like thing to do.

Despite how uptight YN could be, she had a soft spot for her friend and would do anything within her to make her happy so instead of lecturing her about setting her up, YN agrees.

YN thinks about it as the days pass until the date, what’s stopping her from actually giving this a try?

The only information she received about her blind date was that he was also a doctor, orthopedics, and his name was Mitch.

YN dresses nicer than she had originally planned, in a form fitting black dress that shaped her chest phenomenally, making her smaller tits look full and lifted.

It also defined her backside well too, making it rounded and voluminous in a way that it normally didn’t look in her regular outfits.

YN hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, not even a casual hookup because she didn’t do those - she did commitment.

Maybe Mitch would be the one.

YN wasn’t one for magical thinking like her best friend but maybe this is what optimism was supposed to be like as opposed to her normal pessimist outlook.

Victoria dressed stunning as well, albeit a bit more revealing which was her go to, cut-outs along her ribs and the hem was nearly to her bum cheeks so she couldn’t bend over without revealing all of her bits and pieces.

YN was sure that the doctor she was pining after would take her home with her that night but she also knows Victoria is possibly looking at this to become serious.

It was all up in the air.

The National was a quiet restaurant, where business meetings were held and deals were made.

Everyone dressed in expensive outfits that made YN and Victoria’s seem a bit out of place but they blended in well enough.

Neither have been to the location before because it was reservation-only and you had to have enough of a name in Seattle to bother calling.

The fact that the chief was able to get them a table, at relatively short notice was flex in itself, showing off what clout he held in the community.

YN wasn’t impressed, per se, felt like it was a bit-show off but nevertheless it was a nice experience that she’d never likely have again after this night.

Victoria gives the hostess their name before they’re being guided towards the back of the restaurant, it lit dimly enough that it would be hard to see the menu.

As they arrive at the table, there’s two meticulous dressed men sit across from one another, both handsome in different ways.

However, one has a big smile and stands up whilst the other stays seated with a scowl that seems permanently etched on his face - light wrinkles to show for it.

The man who stands up reaches for YN’s hand, kissing the back of it, and introducing himself, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been looking forward to it all week, darling. I’m Mitch.”

“YN,” She replies even though he already knows, allowing the kiss and giving him a polite smile back as he pulls out her chair for her.

Victoria walks around the table, somewhat awkward as her date doesn’t get up or offer to move her chair out, only a curt, “Hello, Victoria. You look nice.”

“Thanks,” Tori blushes easily, YN has to refrain from rolling her eyes at the interaction, she always fell for the rudest, douchey men on Earth.

This doctor was no different as he says back in his chair, shoulders broad, and back straight, head held high as he watches Mitch help YN in her seat.

“Thank you,” YN brushes her fingers against Mitch’s shoulder as he sits down, making eye contact with her date once again.

He had these sincere brown eyes, a shy smile, and his long hair was pulled back into a ponytail as he nods at her.

Mitch wasn’t her type, though she wasn’t picky, and was willing to give anyone a chance - he just wouldn’t be someone she would pick herself.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

“What’s good here?” YN asks Mitch as she opens her menu, it was a small list of entrees, most that YN had only seen on cooking shows or never even heard of.

“I haven’t been here. Styles here is a regular but that’s because he’s the big name ‘round here, well according to London Times - everywhere,” Mitch teases as he glances up at his friend.

Styles doesn’t even lift his lip in a half-smile, his eyes dart to YN before his friend, “The Steelhead Trout is good as is the Filet Migon.”

YN’s eyes trace back over the menu, heart seizing a bit as the numbers next to the entree - realizing that was the price was a bit of shell shock.

She knew that Mitch would pay for her but she felt guilty about ordering something that was well over a hundred and fifty dollars when she would never pay that for dinner herself.

“I think I’ll just get the thai salmon,” YN replies as she glances over, it was the cheapest option, not by much but still.

“There’s peanuts in the sauce,” The doctor tells her as he glances up from his own menu to look at YN.

YN brow furrows at him, lips turning down, and about to say something when he adds, “Victoria informed me that you have a severe peanut allergy and to choose a restaurant that could prepare your food properly.”

YN blinks to process before looking over to Victoria, “Thanks, Tor.”

“I’d rather not see freshman year thanksgiving happen again,” Victoria jokes but there is some real concern there from such a traumatic incident.

YN had accidentally come into contact with some type of nut that sent her into an anaphylactic shock.

They couldn’t find her epipen for a good two minutes until they did and were able to administer her medication until she could make it to the hospital.

Victoria had anxiety about food in their house for ages, paranoid about her own contact with the allergen, and always made sure everyone was aware of YN’s condition.

“I’ll get the filet then,” YN sighs, giving up on picking a cheap option as she closes her menu, and the waiter pours a red wine into her glass.

YN was not in the mood to drink, preferring to sip on her water instead as Victoria and Mitch emptied their first glass quickly.

Victoria’s date sipped more sophisticatedly on his, swirling it like a proper snob before taking a minuscule sip as if he was savoring it.

Mitch seemed very interested in YN, asking multiple questions about her work and personal life, he put an arm around the back of her chair which YN didn’t necessarily mind as they spoke.

From what YN could see, Victoria was not having as much luck with her date as their conversation appeared strained, her friend was doing ninety percent of the talking, and Harry was nodding with an expression of boredom.

After the soup and salads arrive, Mitch and Harry start to chat about something going on with the hospital protocols.

Victoria tries to add in, he doesn’t acknowledge her but Mitch does instead after an uncomfortable pause of silence between them.

YN stays quiet, unable to add anything, and after a moment, Mitch huffs out a laugh, “Enough work talk, we’re excluding YN.”

Harry raises his eyebrow at her, “Need to be the center of attention?”

“Hey,” Mitch frowns, rubbing at YN’s shoulder, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I’m sorry if I just-“

“You’re fine,” YN waves her hand dismissively, giving her friend’s date a displeased glance that Harry returns the scowl just like he’d been doing all night.

Victoria is oblivious, as she tends to be, and is much too focused on keeping her date’s attention to worry about anything else.

“What do you do for work?” Harry asks her, randomly cutting off a story that Victoria was telling about a patient that eloped recently.

“I’m a head accountant for a social media marketing company. What about you?” YN returns the question with sickeningly sweet politeness.

She felt like Harry was a pompous prick, taking pride in his rankings, education, and had a better than attitude that YN really felt was unappealing.

To act like she didn’t know shit about him was the perfect way to irritate him apparently.

It works.

The way his teeth clench together as the wrinkle between his brow deepens further, he straightens his suit jacket before leaning forward to appear casual.

“I’m the Chief Medical Officer of The Hospital of Seattle, a neurosurgeon specializing in spinal cord injury as well as stroke and trauma, I own three outpatient medical practices, as well as instruct other neurosurgeons on new techniques and equipment,” Harry boasts, to be fair, it was extremely impressive.

There was no doubt that the man sitting across from her was extremely intelligent, she’s probably never been around anyone as smart as him but it didn’t excuse his attitude.

You can be intelligent and humble at the same time.

Apparently Doctor Styles did not get the memo.

“That’s nice,” YN replies as she takes a very small sip of wine, even though she was impressed, it didn’t reflect in her bored tone.

Harry scoffs, sitting back, and licking the front of his teeth.

His eyebrow was raised as he repeated in disbelief, “That’s nice? Nothing else, huh?”

Victoria’s eyes dart nervously between the two, she grips Harry’s bicep, “I think it’s the most impressive thing I’ve heard. Not to mention the medical journals you wrote for or the volunteer work.”

YN tucks her bottom lip between her teeth, tampering down a smile at getting a reaction out of her friend’s date, just as she had hoped.

“S’really not as impressive when the person needs to flaunt their accomplishments so extravagantly,” YN shrugs as she puts down her wine glass, nonchalant as ever, and acting as if she was being casual.

Tori delivers a kick to her shin underneath the table, along with a scolding look for her to drop the attitude with Harry because it was ruining their date.

YN pulls back because she did feel guilty at getting into it with this doctor who Tori was trying to pull and she wasn’t increasing the chances with the snide comments.

Harry is about to respond, his ringed fingers clenched on the table, and there were tattoos peeking out from the cuffs of his suit that were very undoctorlike, “You know what I think-?”

“Uhm,” Mitch coughs awkwardly to break up the tension that was getting thick and cloying between everyone at the table, “Victoria, where did you get your nursing degree from?”

The conversation breaks off, Victoria and Mitch start chatting as YN and Harry remain pretty much silent throughout the appetizers.

Victoria is forward, trying to touch her date when possible.

A brush of his hand here, a squeeze of his bulky bicep there.

Though Harry doesn’t shrug her off, he also doesn’t return the favor at all.

He is nearly statuesque, unmoving, and able to sit very still for long amounts of time.

Of course, maybe that is overly obvious because of how all over the place her friend was at all times, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes without needing to adjust the way she’s sitting or fiddle with something on the table.

YN wonders if this whole thing was set up for Mitch and Harry just settled for being on a date with Victoria to help his friend out.

The thought hurt her to think about because she wanted better for her friend.

YN enjoyed having a job that paid her well, more than most people her age were making but it didn’t define who she was.

Doctor Styles seemed to be his entire job as his personality.

How boring.

When Harry manages to get the topic back onto a work issue, YN cannot help but let out a yawn that she very half-heartedly tries to cover with her hand because she could only hear so much about a spinal surgery before she’s zoning out.

Victoria is hanging onto his every word, asking questions, and being overly interested in a lackluster story in his monotone, deep voice that could honestly lull her to sleep because of how bleak and morbid he sounded.

However, when she yawns, no one at the table notices but Harry.

His eyes have darted over to her a few times while he’s been talking, almost to gauge her level of interest, and when she yawns, he visibly huffs before continuing - his words a bit more harsh and a flutter of annoyance twisting into his cadence.

YN had neglected her date during this whole time, in full honesty.

Victoria and Mitch seemed to have a great conversation.

When YN talked to Mitch, he was nice enough and easy to have a conversation with but his boss across the table was distracting and apparently felt the need to constantly be the center of attention even though that’s what he called YN out for. 

It’s rude, YN knows it is when she excuses herself to the bathroom mid-story, placing her napkin on the table before swinging her purse over her shoulder, and navigating into the dimly-lit restaurant towards the back.

YN goes into one of the many stalls, a larger bathroom, and sits down.

She didn’t have to go to the bathroom but she had just needed a break because…

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck?

YN would be crawling out the bathroom window if Victoria wasn’t with her.

YN hears the door open and she just knows it’s Victoria.

She is definitely going to give YN a piece of her mind for her attitude at the table and she really can’t blame her because she was not being on her best behavior admittedly.

When YN pushes open the stall, already starting her speech, “Tor, I know you’re probably pissed but -”

However, YN stops mid-setence when she sees that it was not Victoria standing across from her.

No, instead it was Harry, leaning back against the sinks with his arms crossed and a scowl worse than anything that he had displayed at the table across his face.

“Already dating again?” He asks unhappily, the slight crack of his deep drawl gives away the jealously laying behind those words, “That’s pretty fuckin’ rich, innit?”

“Don’t you dare,” YN hisses back, defensive and straightening up, “You don’t have any room to talk.”

“I have plenty,” Harry grits out, his gaze unwavering, his hand twitching like he wants to reach out, “You fucked everything up, not me.”

The awful thing is that YN wants him too.

“That’s not true,” YN murmurs softer, trying to keep the feisty edge in her voice but struggling.

The emotions that she was attempting to hold in at the table were much harder to bottle up when they were standing face-to-face like this.

“You like Mitch?” Harry ignores her rebuttal, his knuckles were white where they were gripping the kitchen sink, “Think he’s nice? Boyfriend material?”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” YN snaps back, finding her bravado a bit more.

“Come here,” Harry orders, voice quiet but sharp, demanding, and it sends a chill down her spine.

“Harry-” YN begins to argue but finds herself walking forward, her heart pounding hard enough that it hurts and her hands were shaking as she clung the strap of her purse as a lifeline as her heels clicked against the tile.

“C’mon, dove,” His voice is sweeter, more goading until she’s close enough to touch.

Her lips parted in nerves, excitement, dread.

His hand reaches out to curl around the nape of her neck, fingers lightly pressing into the sides of her throat and though it was gentle, it was possessive - rooted in the jealousy of what was going on tonight with their dates.

Harry brings her towards him by the hold he has on her, until her hands are laid on his chest, and he’s leaning down as he tilts her head up.

He brushes their lips together, once, twice, and on the third time, YN pulls back and takes a few steps away from him.

“You can’t just do that,” YN huffs, grabbing a tissue from the counter and dabbing at the corners of her eyes to prevent the tears from falling and ruining her makeup, “I’m on a date. You’re on a date. It isn’t fair to either of them.”

Harry laughs unhappily, shaking his head as pushes away from the sink, heading towards the door but before he leaves, he bites back, “I don’t think you have room to be talking about fair. You obviously don’t fuckin’ understand the concept of it. Pull yourself together before you come back out.”

YN knows it immature, proves his point but gives him the middle finger before going back to dabbing at her eyes - fuck, she wishes she didn’t cry around him.

She wondered if it was worth sneaking out the window and facing the wrath of her friend later.

+

ahhhhhhh.

let me know your thoughts. this was difficult to write but im glad it turned out how i wanted it too! what do you predict?

😙😙😙

[alessiasfreckles]

not good, not bad, just different (leah williamson x ADHD!reader)

disclaimer: this is based off of my personal experience of ADHD. this is in no way saying that this is what adhd looks like for everyone!!

a/n: based on this request! i hope you like it, i'm sorry it's so all over the place but that also felt pretty thematic so... hopefully it's okay. i'm planning on doing 1-2 more parts to this! the next part will be about the reader getting diagnosed and coming to terms with their diagnosis + telling the other lionesses about it. also if you're interested in more WLW football based fiction involving ADHD, read Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner!

------------

You had always felt… different. Not in a ‘not like other girls’ kind of way, more like an ‘I don’t understand what’s wrong with me’ kind of way. Things just seemed to be so much harder for you than for everybody else. 

As a teenager, you were constantly getting told off by your parents for your messy room and bad grades. You were a smart kid, they said, so why couldn’t you just do your homework and study for tests like everyone else?

You would ask yourself the same thing. Forcing yourself to sit at your desk, staring at your maths textbook, desperately begging your brain to just cooperate, just this once, not understanding why it was so hard to just do the work. 

When your parents would come into your room you would instantly feel a flash of white-hot shame at the state of it. Clothes everywhere, rubbish you’d forgotten about in corners, plates, cups, half empty water bottles. You couldn’t help it, it was like once something was out of your line of sight, you just forgot it existed, like the plate of half-eaten food that you’d put next to the bed at some point and then had absent-mindedly pushed under the bed to get it out of your way. When you found it weeks - okay, months - later, you were so embarrassed by the mould that you secretly threw it away rather than take it downstairs to the kitchen, where anyone could see it. 

You would forget things you knew you should remember, things that anyone else would have remembered, like weekly tutoring sessions that your parents paid for (something they reminded you of when you forgot, yet again). You felt so stupid. It was at the same time, every Wednesday after school, so why couldn’t you remember? 

Or doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, any kind of appointment really. You would write it into your calendar, set yourself a reminder on the day, set yourself another reminder 30 minutes before, and all that would happen is that you would swipe away the reminder thinking ‘oh, yeah’, and then you’d continue doing whatever you were doing before. It was only when you’d hear the phone ring that you’d instantly know it was about you, about the appointment you’d missed, or maybe it was from school, or maybe something else you’d just completely forgotten about.

And all of that wasn’t even taking your issues with human interaction into account. You’d always struggled to make friends, especially as a girl who liked football. When you hit 9 or 10, the other girls in your class started to grow more interested in talking about boys, or music, or tv. You couldn’t understand what they found so interesting, that they’d rather spend breaks just sitting around chatting to each other when they could be running around playing football, or some other game, or anything more exciting. 

As you got a little older, though, you realised that it was clearly a ‘you’ problem. People at your secondary school were nice, for the most part, but you still struggled to make friends. When you’d accidentally interrupt someone, or start talking too much and too loudly in excitement, or fidget a little too noisily, people would give you looks and whisper to each other about how weird you were. You learned to sit on your hands to stop yourself from clicking a pen or tapping your fingers, to keep quiet to avoid saying the wrong thing or saying it the wrong way. 

Football was a good escape. It was fast-paced enough that you didn’t have time to think about other things, and there was enough going on that your brain wasn’t looking for external stimulation. You’d always been observant, noticing things most people wouldn’t notice, and you used it to your advantage. You were quick with the ball and you seemed to always know where everyone was around you. You were so good, in fact, that you made the England U17 squad - something you’d hoped would make you seem a little cooler at school, but just added to your ‘weirdness’. 

That time was far behind you now, though. Now you were in your twenties and not only played football professionally, having joined Arsenal when you were 19, but also played for the England senior squad, one of the Lionesses. 

That’s not to say that you didn’t still struggle with things. Your apartment was a mess, you lost things constantly, you would still interrupt people and fidget. You had friends though, at least. If anything, people knew what you were like and they loved you for it. It became a running joke on match days that you would inevitably lose your shoes, or your shin pads, or your phone, or that you’d need to borrow a hair bobble from someone. Everything would always show up right as you started to panic, though. Your shoes would be in the bathroom, because you’d been holding them when you went in to go to the toilet before the game like you always did. Your shin pads would be in the pockets of your jacket, one on each side, so you wouldn’t lose them. 

“Looking for this?” Leah would ask, pulling your phone out of her pocket and smiling at the look of relief on your face.

“Yes! Where was it?” 

“On the bus. You left it on your seat,” she explained.

“Huh. That doesn’t sound like me,” you joked.

“Nah, that definitely doesn’t sound like you,” she would say with a wink.

So, yeah. Maybe you had a reputation as the forgetful one, and the messy one, and the chaotic one, and the distracted one. But that was just who you were, right?

---------

Okay, you knew you were here for a reason. There must have been something you were going to get from the prep room, that’s literally the only reason you were there. You mentally went through everything you needed; shoes, on your feet, jacket, wearing it, headphones, in your pocket, water bottle - fuck, that was it! Your bottle!

You grabbed it from the bench where you’d left it and headed back out. On the way you needed to pee, so you quickly went to the bathroom, washed your hands, and went back to the training pitch.

“Did you get your water bottle?” Leah asked, a quizzical look on her face as she looked at your empty hands.

“Fuck,” you sighed. “I had it. Where the fuckety fuck did I put it?”

“Y/n, come on! Training started 5 minutes ago!” one of the trainers called over. You felt a white hot flash of shame in your belly, heat rising to your face.

“Do you want me to help you look for it?” Leah asked.

You shook your head, looking down. “No, it’s fine,” you muttered. “Let’s just start training.”

After training, Kyra came over to you in the changing room. 

“Here,” she said, holding out your bottle. “I found it in the toilets, on the sink.” 

---------

After that you made a list. You stuck it to the inside of your cubby, and every day you would look through it, double checking everything before you left the room. It helped for a while, until you started seeing the list as part of the background and your brain started ignoring it.

When you went to international camp, it got worse. You were away from your routine, in an unfamiliar environment. At least the people you were with was pretty much the same as always. As nice as it was to see everyone though, it was draining, too.

“Y/n? What do you want?” Leah asked. You were on a rare night out, the whole team at a restaurant by the beach together.

“Huh?” you asked, frowning. At a table nearby, people were singing ‘Happy Birthday’, cheering, clapping. On the other side of you, someone was having a conversation - it sounded like they were on a first date, but that didn’t make sense, you were in Spain, they sounded English, why would they be on a first date here? 

“What do you want to order?” Leah asked again, prompting you. The waitress stood there, looking at you expectantly, notepad in her hand. A light flickered somewhere in the corner of your eye.

“Oh, um, I,” you stuttered, looking at the huge menu in front of you. The people on the date were talking about what kind of things they liked to do on holiday, she liked to go sightseeing, he just wanted to relax, at another table a baby started crying, the ice in people’s glasses was clinking, knives and forks were scraping against plates, that song you’d had stuck in your head for days now was still playing on a loop in the back of your head, your leg was bouncing uncontrollably under the table, someone’s nails were tapping against their phone, the man was telling the woman that the whole point of holidays is to relax-

Leah’s hand on your knee made you look up from where you’d zoned out looking at the menu. The waitress was gone. Leah was looking at you with a concerned expression, her hand steady on your knee. 

“Do you want to go outside, get some fresh air?” she asked calmly. 

You nodded wordlessly. 

With a hand on your arm she guided you outside the restaurant, taking you to a nearby bench to sit down. The breeze cooled the sweat on the back of your neck, making you shiver. 

“Are you cold?” Leah asked, reaching for her jacket. 

“No, no, I’m okay,” you said, breathing in deeply. You knew you should just go back inside, suck it up, smile at Leah and say everything was okay, but you just couldn’t yet. You just needed a few more minutes.

You sat there in silence for a minute. It wasn’t a bad silence, but you could tell Leah was giving you space to talk whenever you felt ready. You didn’t want to talk about what had just happened though, you felt too embarrassed about getting overwhelmed like that. Everyone else was fine, it was just you who couldn’t handle it.

“The people at the table next to us, I think they were on a first date,” you said instead, looking at your hands. 

“Yeah?” Leah laughed. 

“Yeah. But, like, why would they be on a first date here? They sounded English, why are they on a first date at a restaurant in Spain?” you asked.

“Huh, I dunno,” Leah mused. “Maybe they’re both on holiday and happened to meet and decided to go on a date?”

“Maybe,” you nodded. After a few seconds of quiet, you sighed. “I’m sorry about all that. I just got… there was just a lot going on.”

Leah squeezed your knee. “It’s okay. It was busy in there, wasn’t it?”

You nodded again. “Yeah. My brain just couldn’t handle it all. All the noises, and the menu- oh, fuck, I didn’t order anything!”

“It’s okay,” Leah chuckled. “I ordered for you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. A sandwich and chips. If you don’t want it I’m sure someone else will eat it,” she shrugged. 

“I didn’t even notice you ordering for me,” you frowned. “I feel like something’s wrong with me.”

“Wrong with you? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I- I feel like something is wrong with my brain,” you tried to explain, not knowing how to put it into words.

Leah frowned. 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m making a big deal out of nothing,” you said, suddenly feeling awkward and embarrassed. “Let’s go back inside. Everyone is probably wondering where we are.”

“Wait, y/n, we can stay outside for a little bit longer,” Leah said.

“No, no,” you stood up quickly, not meeting her eyes. “Let’s go. I’m okay, I promise.”

———

It didn’t take long for Leah to corner you the next day, determined to talk to you..

“You seem distracted,” Leah said, sitting down next to you on the bench. “More distracted than usual, I mean.”

“Ha, yeah,” you said. “It’s kind of ironic, actually. I’m distracted because I’m distracted.”

“Right…” she said, frowning. “You’re distracted because you’re thinking about why you’re distracted?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to think of how to word it. “We all know I get distracted easily, right?”

The blonde nodded. “Yeah, you’re like a magpie or something. You see something shiny, you gotta pick it up. Except the shiny thing is literally anything that catches your attention,” she laughed. 

“Exactly! Well, I was looking some stuff up online, or, no, I saw some stuff online, wait, let me start again,” you said. “My thoughts are moving faster than my mouth. Okay, so, when I was a teenager, I was on tumblr a lot. It was the only social media I really had. And on tumblr I’d see a lot about people with ADHD and autism and about hyperfixating on things. And I’ve always kind of hyperfixated on stuff - I mean, football, obviously, but other stuff too, like how on my days off I’ll binge watch an entire season of a TV show and then not shut up about it for like, a month straight, and then I’ll lose interest and basically never mention it again.”

“Or like when you decided to start playing guitar and bought a guitar and had 2 lessons and then stopped, or like when you got really into gardening for a few weeks and bought all those plants and seeds and books about gardening and then realised it was the wrong time of year for half the things you wanted to plant?” Leah asked, an amused look in her eyes.

“Huh. Yeah, I guess those count too,” you said, frowning. “So, yeah, I hyperfixate on things. And I’ve only ever seen it mentioned together with ADHD and autism. But I always thought wow, that’s so crazy that I do that but I don’t have either of those!”

“I feel like I know where this is going,” Leah smiled. 

“Leah, what if I do have ADHD? I don’t think I have autism, I mean, I might, but I haven’t really looked into it yet, maybe I should-”

“One thing at a time, okay?” she laughed, putting a hand on your arm. “Y/n, we both know I am in no way qualified to tell you if you have ADHD or not. But I know you very well. We’ve known each other for what, 5, 6 years now? And it would not surprise me in the slightest if you have ADHD.”

“Really?” you asked, incredulous. “What makes you say that?”

“You mean, aside from what I just mentioned?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Last night? At the restaurant?” she gently reminded you.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I may have also read up on the topic a bit. I kind of suspected you might have ADHD, but I didn’t want to bring it up until you did,” she explained, not meeting your eyes. You felt something flutter in your stomach at her confession. “Anyway, one of the things I read was that people with ADHD also struggle with overstimulation and sensory issues. Do you think that could be what happened last night?”

“Oh,” you said, suddenly quiet. “Maybe?”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just-”

“No, no, it’s okay! It’s just a lot to take in.” you told her. Your mind was racing, thoughts splitting off into dozens of other thoughts, some fully formed and some nothing more than singular words or phrases. 

You sat together in silence for a few minutes.

“What do I do now?” you asked Leah, your voice small. “I, um, I didn’t think I’d get this far. You’re the first person I’ve told, and I kind of expected you to tell me I’m being silly.”

“I would never say that,” she said, turning to look at you, her eyes fixed on yours. “I wouldn’t say that about something important to you, I promise. And as for what to do now, well, I guess you have a few options. You can keep going as you have been, and do some more research, if you want, and try to figure it out alone. Well, not alone. You’ve got me. Or you could speak to someone, a professional. See if your hunch is right.”

“And then?”

“I dunno, I guess that’s up to you. I suppose they’d be able to help you with coping mechanisms, or put you on medication, if that’s what you wanted,” she shrugs. 

“Medication?” you asked. Your mind was full of pictures of hyperactive kids, bouncing off the walls. You propped your feet up on the bench, pulling your knees in close to your chest. “What if I’m wrong? What if there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just being dramatic?”

“Then that’s okay, too,” Leah said firmly. “Then you’re just dramatic, but that’s okay, too. I promise.”

You nodded, resting your chin on your knees.

"Would you be able to help me find someone to talk to? I don't know how, or where, or, anything, really," you asked.

"Of course," she said, putting her arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close. "I'll help in any way I can."

[debonairprincesposts]

Lost focus (He’s too pretty)

Summary: Reader has an exam to study for and only has a few hours to cram everything in their brain. Distractions are a thing so reader decides that enlisting Jason’s help might work. It doesn’t

Words: 1.1k

Wrote this one myself. ∠(ᐛ 」∠)

Can you tell how much I like him?

This was way more challenging than you thought it would be. You had a couple of chapters left with barely enough time to complete them. If! And only if, you got your shit together, rubbed them two brain cells, and forced yourself to push through, you might succeed. You could do it if you really put your mind to it, but

You just can’t focus.

Your phone was right side up right next you, and you can’t help but glance at it every time the screen lit up.

Gasp!

You just got an amazing idea!

It might just be genius.

Maybe Jason can help.

Jason, your hubby, your guardian Angel, your strong teddy bear, your sweetheart, the love of your life, the-

Okay-

You’re getting off track. Where were you?

Oh yes! Maybe Jason can help you keep your focus.

You get off your desk, stretch a bit cuz you been on that chair since like-… Wait…., what time even is it.

You glimpsed at your clock above your door, and-

Gasp!

Holy crap!

You’ve been get distracted for over an hour!

Realizing the amount of time you just wasted daydreaming, it cemented the fact that you absolutely must get Jason to keep track of you and act as your pretty, beautiful, breathtaking, delightful, sexy-

Whoa- best to keep it family friendly.

You just need him! Period!

And so, you venture out of your room and into the harsh, chaotic environment that resides outside your door that you haven’t seen in years -ahem- a few hours.

Jason was just chillin’ on the couch in the living room reading a book that he’d been wanting to catch up on since forever, it’s a rare day off.

You arrive at the entrance of the living room and pause, your gaze wandering in search of him.

Huzzah!

Lover has been spotted!

Now to plot a dramatic entrance and maybe hope to startle him.

(You know he heard you from the moment you left your room, but you like to delude yourself into thinking that you might be able to sneak up on him)

You stomp your way into the living room and stand just a few feet away from the entrance-

He noticed you making your way in and opened his beautiful mouth with pretty soft, glossy lips that you could just bite-

Whoa- family friendly remember?

-to ask if you needed anything.

You then announce,

“Beloved! I have encountered a dilemma and require your assistance!”

Jason looks at bit surprised at your use of fancy talk then chuckles, “Sure thing, chipmunk. What do you need?”

You now lose your nerve and just revert back to normal talk, totally not because you lack the proper vocabulary to talk like a person out of a fantasy novel, definitely not.

It’s not!

Anyway!

Where were you? Ah, right. You were about to converse with this divine being you call your boyfriend, who has graced your life with his presence and brought nothing but good fortune and love, and ask for his help.

He looks at you expectantly, closing his book after bookmarking it, and waits for you to answer.

His eyes are pretty as he looks at you. Like a swirl of green in a bottomless ocean that would just absolutely drown you, from love or something else you don’t know, you don’t mind either. If he points his gun at you and shoots, you might just thank him for it.

Damn.

You’re a simp.

He’s still waiting for you to speak.

Okay! Not the time to have realizations about yourself! Concentrate!

You clear your throat, “I just need you keep track of me while I study so I don’t get distracted.” You take a deep breath to compose yourself and not drift back to thinking about how his thighs could-

WHAO!! ABORT! ABORT!

He gives you a nod to encourage you to finish what you wanted to say. Honestly, bless his heart. His patience is eternal. Especially if he has to deal with you. A million topics at a time with no momentary focus whatsoever.

You take another deep breath, “I’m getting really distracted and really need you to keep me focused and just watch me to make sure I get things done. Can you help me?” You look down as you fiddle with the strings of your hoodie. Why is it so embarrassing to ask for his help. Maybe cuz it feels like a godly creation such as himself shouldn’t be doing dumb things just to appease a feeble mortal like you. How you bagged someone like him is beyond you.

“Sure, chipmunk. I don’t mind.” He smiled. Oh, my god. It’s too bright. You stare. You think you’re getting blinded by how brightly he shines.

What’s that noise?

Oh, he’s snapping his fingers in front of your face. He looks concerned. Oh no. You made Angel upset. Damnit! Think fast!

“Sweetheart?” He asks, “You with me?” He’s slightly frowning in worry. The light from the living room window highlights his hair and makes his high cheekbones more pronounced. His hair looks really shiny and fluffy too. You just wanna touch it.

So you do.

You reach out a hand towards his head as he looks at you with concern mixed in with confusion. You run your fingers through his hair, you then start petting it.

Mmm. Fluffy.

Realization makes its way across his face. He snorts, then lets out a short laugh. If that’s the last sound you hear before you die, then you can die happy. “Is that why you wanted me to help?” He smirks, “Can’t keep track of your attention?” He’s not pulling away, so you guess he’s enjoying your little pets.

“Uhh,” how dignified, “Yeah, n-no. I can’t.”

He smiles again at your stutter, you’re so cute. His smile seems brighter than your future, your heart might just give out at this point, “Alright. Let’s get you back to studying, yeah?”

He gives a kiss on the forehead before he turns you around, gently grabs you by your shoulders, and starts walking you back to your room.

As you enter, he nudges you towards your desk while he takes a seat on your bed.

He claps twice, “Chop chop, Chipmunk! Time to focus.” He then brings out a different book outta nowhere. Where was he hiding that? “I’ll be right here the whole time. Time to get to it, sweets.”

You nod in determination while give him a salute. He chuckles at your response as he lays back on your pillows while you turn back to your desk to try and get things done.

…..

You can hear him slowly breathing on your bed, the rustling noises that his clothes make when he moves to adjust himself, the flip of the paper from the book he’s reading. You took a glimpse at him from your peripherals. He looks ethereal in his fitted shirt and baggy sweatpants.

Yeah, you’re definitely failing your exam.

I think I have adhd…..

[hyunniesgirl]

Bad intentions | Part 1

Pairing: nerd!Han Jisung x popular!reader(afab)

Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(for the story in general, this part has no smut)

Words count: 8,056

Slightly inspired in the movie She's All That

*This is the second fic to my series Love is a mess. The stories can be read as standalones but they are all connected so some details mentioned may sound off.

Disclaimer: Jisung is proud asf, OC has kind of a sad backstory and has anxiety(not explored very deeply but there are descriptions of her symptoms), this part is just suggestive so no smut

Part 2

This story is NSFW and is going to have +18 themes so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: okay for the sake of the plot let's pretend for a moment that Han Jisung can be considered anything other than smocking hot, alright?

A/N²: My idea was for all the stories from this series to be oneshots but I just kept writing and writing and this one was almost 13k already and I haven't even gotten to the good part so I thought "I almost never read anything over 10k" so I split the oneshot for the sake of my readers attention span.

Jisung likes to think that he's better than all the guys fawning over you, he likes to think that even if he had a chance, he'd never lust over you. But well, sometimes a strong denial turns out to be an implicit affirmation.

It all started in social studies, he was trying to go over his notes for the test but the conversations happening at the same time didn't let him pay any attention to what was written in the sheets. There were five different conversations happening at the same time, but they all had the same subject: you.

Apparently, you had a boyfriend who cheated on you with a girl from a rival university? Or some trivial shit like that. Jisung doesn't understand why that matters to anyone but you and the said boyfriend. He doesn't understand why everyone feels like such a painful experience is any of their business. But he guesses it comes with the job.

Everyone knows you, you're the classic cheer captain, who dates — or dated — the infamous quarterback in the football team. People envy you, cherish you, they want to be you and he always thought they loved you, but after hearing so many snarky comments about you in the last 20 minutes, he's actually starting to pity you.

You wanted to kill him, Seunghoon, that bastard. He destroyed a relationship of a year just to get in someone's pants? Fucking idiot. You hate him so much for cheating on you, but you hate him the most for not showing up kneeling at your door and asking for forgiveness. Who does he think he is? He would never have gotten his position on the football team if it wasn't for you, everyone knows that.

It's an understatement to say you are always the best in everything you put your mind into and if you're not the best by nature, you work hard until you become the best. You are smart, pretty, popularity is your thing, you're used to getting everyone's attention wherever you go. Everyone loves you, or at least they pretend well enough.

So when you started dating this guy, who was a nobody it was pretty shocking for everyone else. You turned him into the most popular guy so he could stay by your side, so you expected a little bit of loyalty from him. Guess that was expecting too much from a horny dog like him.

You did love Seunghoon, you wouldn't have dated him for a year if you didn't. But his character was always questionable, that, you won't deny. There's that saying that love makes you blind but you knew that he's no good and yet stayed with him, that's on you.

You can't stand the pity looks people give you when you walk down the hallway, they could at least pretend they are not talking shit about you behind your back.

To think the semester has only just started, you wish you could take a year off to make sure things die down nicely. But if you do, you'll definitely lose your position as cheer captain, there are too many people willing to get rid of you so they can get your title.

It's best for you to try and get rid of these thoughts, so you hold your head high turning on a corner, decided to pretend everything is okay. That's when you bump into someone, dropping the books you have in your hands and your phone screen down on the floor, gasping immediately, the last thing you need right now is a broken phone.

When you lean over to collect your things, the person who bumped into you does the same, going for the phone at the same time and touching hands with you. A strange wave of electricity makes your whole body shiver by that touch, making you snap your head in the direction of the person.

You know him. He's one of the members of 3racha, a music group everyone loves. Curiously, this is the first time you have seen him outside of a presentation. He's clearly different from the other members, wearing baggy clothes and displaying a hair that's undeniable too long with some questionable choice of colors on it. You can't even really see his eyes, however, he has something about him that makes you refuse to take your eyes off him.

He grabs your book and phone, ignoring your shameless stare. Standing up and handing your things to you.

“Sorry, I can pay for your phone's repair”, he says and for the first time in a minute you can divert your eyes from him, looking at the screen, absolutely shattered and sighing.

“No, it's okay. I was the one who was distracted”, you smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. Why do you feel the sudden urge to flirt with him? He's not even your type. Or at least, that's what you think.

He hums, not really interested, taking a paper out of his bag and writing something on it.

“Here, this is my number if you change your mind”, he gives you the paper, saying goodbye and disappearing somewhere in the hallway.

When you finally meet Seunghoon, he doesn't even apologize, actually, he doesn't look regretful at all. He has a smug smile, as if what he did is not serious, as if he's better than you now.

You always had a thought in the corner of your mind that maybe he had some kind of inferiority complex when it came to you, but you didn't think he would go as far as to cheat on you just to prove he is better in some way.

“You don't harbor hard feelings, right?” He smirks, chin up. “I know you're much better than me, I'm sure you won't mind what happened and we can still be friends”, he's mocking you, you recognize that tone.

You're grasping the fabric of your skirt under the table, did he really pull you away from your practice to say this? The audacity of this man.

“Of course I don't mind”, you smile kindly, acting as unbothered as you possibly can. This is something you learned in so many years of having eyes on you all the time: pretend. You won't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry or even get mad. If you are able to pretend you don't care at all about him, that's what you're gonna do.

“I'm glad-”, his smile falters a bit, you are sure he expected you to break. That shows how little he knows about you, you would never make a scene in public.

“Actually, I'm even seeing someone else already”, you blurt out, trying to make him more baffled and it works, he frowns and the look of confusion in his face is priceless.

“Well, that's great for you”, Seunghoon clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “We should definitely go on a double date sometime”

“Of course, I'd love that”, you nod, standing up. “I'll be going now, but it was great seeing you”, you lie, turning around and walking back to the gymnasium.

When it sinks in what you just did, you want to hit your head against the wall. What the hell was that? Why would you even tell him you're seeing someone when you're not? For fucksake, you're sure he's too proud to let this go, he'll try to find out who it is that you're seeing and when he finds out you lied, you'll be done for, faced with utter humiliation again.

“Why would you tell him you're seeing someone?” Mina asks, looking at you like you are the dumbest person alive, and honestly, you do feel like that at the moment.

“I don't know”, you cry out, “I guess I wanted him to feel miserable”

“And look where that got you”, Miyeon says, worriedly.

“I know, I'm an idiot”, you tell them and your friends nod, making you glare at them. “Well, I guess I'll just have to find a new boyfriend”, you say, dreadfully.

“You know it's not that easy”, Mina says, “you built Seunghoon from the scratch to the guy he is today, it won't have the same effect if you get just anybody that people already see everyday, it has to be shocking”

“Well, I don't know”, you sigh, “is there even someone like that here?”

“I don't know”, Miyeon says, “you need someone charming, someone who people can't take their eyes off”

“It won't be good if he's already known, it should be someone who's usually invisible”, Mina completes.

You sigh, there's only one person you can think of who instantly fits that description.

“What about him?” Miyeon takes you out of your thoughts, pointing to someone behind you. “Isn't he part of 3racha?”

“I mean, he fits what we are looking for”, Mina says.

You turn around, finding the guy you bumped on a few days ago sitting at the table behind you, you're sure you can remember his name if you just try a little harder. He's sitting with Changbin, the other guy from 3racha who is kind of your friend.

“But is there something for you to do there?” Mina looks at him with squinted eyes, trying to see how you could improve him.

“He's cute”, you check him out shamelessly, nodding to yourself.

“I'm not sure if you could make Seunghoon jealous with cuteness”, she shrugs.

“He's not just cute”, you bit your bottom lip, thinking hard. “He could use a different haircut and maybe a new wardrobe but I see a lot of potential in there”

“Well”, Mina sighs in defeat, “let's make a bet them”

“Are you in middle school?” You ask her, rolling your eyes.

“If you can make Seunghoon regret cheating on you, I'll give up on trying for cheer captain next semester”, she ignores your question, stretching her hand for you to shake it.

“As if you were going to win anyway”, you joke.

Of course she could win, Mina is your best friend and also the best dancer you know, she could easily steal your position if you didn't try so hard to keep it, so you do what you have to do, shaking her hand even though you don't have a good feeling about it.

It's been a few days since you decided to make Jisung your new boyfriend, you just haven't figured out how to approach him. For starters, you can't even find him in this damn university, how the hell can a member from a trio as popular as 3racha just walk around without being noticed? That's a mystery you'll have to solve later.

“Jisung? Why would you want me to set you up with him?” Changbin asks, confused.

“Well, I find him cute”, you shrug, that's not a lie.

“He's not your type, he's totally different from Seunghoon”, he stares at you with a brow raised, sipping from his drink.

“Why would I want someone like Seunghoon? My reputation is almost ruined because of that guy”, you say.

“You got a point”, Changbin sighs, “let me talk to him first”, he can feel something is up but with all the mess happening in his life already, he doesn't have the energy to dig any deeper.

Jisung stares at his friend for about five minutes, no words being said. Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like him?

He's pretty popular because of 3racha, but not near as popular as you or your friend group. Everyone knows he's an awkward guy, when he's on stage his personality changes, he's confident, it feels great, like he could conquer the world, but when he goes back to real life, he just doesn't feel the need to be perceived. Jisung doesn't have a reason to be popular outside of the stage, he's fine with being invisible.

“So, what do you think?” Changbin asks.

“I don't know”, Jisung shrugs.

“Think carefully, it's not everyday that someone like y/n wants to go on a date with an ordinary guy”, the older one insists.

Well, maybe he likes being ordinary. He always thought he wouldn't be like those guys who would do anything for a pretty girl, now it's his chance to prove it.

“You can tell her that I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it's a good idea”, Jisung says, confidently. Even though he wants to punch himself after saying it.

Changbin sighs.

“If you're sure about it”, he shrugs, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

What if he's just letting his prejudice get in the way of meeting someone nice? He sighs to himself, there's nothing he can do about it now.

Well, that's unexpected. Did you go so low as to be rejected by just anybody? How could Jisung not even accept a single date with you? Are you ugly? No, you're sure it's not that. Are you boring? It's not that either, of course. You don't think there's a single thing that would make him turn you down. Maybe you're not his type? No, you're everyone's type.

You won't give up, though. Han Jisung has too much potential for you to just leave him be, you're sure you can make him be even better than Seunghoon ever was. So you march to social studies, you asked Changbin who reluctantly told you that Jisung takes that class.

You enter the classroom earning a few glances, smiling kindly at the people you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don't.

Jisung is seated in the corner, writing something on his notebook, earbuds on. You walk up to him, sitting by his side and waiting for him to notice you, which doesn't take long. He feels a presence too close to him, making him turn to look at you.

He frowns, taking his earbuds slowly, trying to process your present so close to him.

“How can I help you?” He asks and you tilt your head, he's even cuter up close.

“I heard you turned me down”, you say, leaning over the desk to watch him.

“Yeah, sorry”, he shrugs nonchalantly, hurting your pride even more. He should feel at least a bit apologetic, shouldn’t he?

“What do I have to do for you to go out with me?” You push more. You even came here looking for him, you're not going to be discouraged just by a bit of indifference.

“Why do you want to go out with me anyway?” He frowns, it’s not that he doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just that every time that he feels tempted to actually lust over you his pride gets a little more hurt, did you think there was no chance of you being rejected by him?

“Well, I like you. You're cute”, you tell him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“You don't even know me”, he scoffs, ignoring the fact that you called him cute.

“That's exactly why I want to go out with you, dummy. So I can get to know you better”, you smile, knowing he won't be able to get out of this situation without telling you why he won't go out with you.

“Well, you’re not my type”, he clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat and trying to sound convincing, you’re clearly everyone’s type. “And I don’t think we would have much to talk about”

You’re going to fight him on this, argue that you’re a very interesting person that can talk about a lot of things, but the professor enters the classroom, eyeing you and tilting his head in confusion, since you passed this class last semester.

“I’m going to let it go for now”, you stand, “but don’t think you’re getting rid of me”, you huff, walking out of the class. He sure is stubborn, but you’re more.

Jisung feels like he's in those movies with a stalker following him around. You know, when the protagonist is sure that someone is watching them but every time they look around there's no one there? Except that in his case, you're always there. Every place he goes has you in it, glaring at him.

You're not actually glaring at him, even though he thinks you're. You're just shocked that he still hasn't come around to accepting going out with you, so you have to stare at him because you have to understand him. Why is he so different from the other guys? Of course you don't think you're better than anyone, but since news of your break up with Seunghoon broke out, your phone has been blowing up with texts from guys you didn't even know had your number, saying weird things and asking you out. So why is the only person you want to hear from, not giving a shit about you?

You ask Changbin's help but he refuses to meddle anymore than he already has, saying that he knows your intentions are not entirely good so he won't help anymore.

“Did you know we have a class with your new crush?” Mina says while looking at herself in the mirror of the clothes store you're visiting.

“What?” You take your eyes out of your phone to look at her, you have been staring at your screen for thirty minutes, trying to fight the urge to just call Jisung. He gave you his number so you could charge him with the repair of your broken phone but you already had it fixed, maybe you could use that little incident to your advantage.

“We have French with him, you chose Spanish, right?” Miyeon asks, looking around to see if she likes anything.

“Are you for real?” You ask and she looks at you, nodding. “Do you think there are still open spots in your class?” You ask, lost in thoughts.

“You're not going to switch classes just so you can get close to him, right?” Mina turns around to look at you, a brow raised in questioning. “Right?” She presses after you don't answer.

“I kinda prefer French though”, you smirk, standing up. “The school's office is still open now, isn't it?” You ask and both of your friends exchange looks, sighing and shaking their heads, sure that you're a lost cause.

It was not difficult to switch classes, you used up all your charm with the office’s secretary so she wouldn't argue too much about it. You just need a warm smile, some tiramisu and to compliment her nails.

You enter the class smiling victoriously, seeing your friends seated side by side and finding Jisung sitting alone in the back. You waltz over there, putting your things on the desk and sitting by his side.

Jisung takes a deep breath, side eyeing you for a moment.

“Are you serious right now?” He sighs, “you know you can't just keep coming to my classes, right? That's lowkey stalking”, he argues, making you chuckle.

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you shrug, “I'm enrolled in this class”, you tell him, pulling a paper with your schedule printed on it and showing it to him. “This is the only spot available”

He looks around to check, biting his bottom lip, embarrassed. He should have checked before assuming things but that doesn't change the fact that you have been around him too much lately.

“Okay”, he sighs, fidgeting on his seat.

“If I'm really making you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to sit”, you say, even though you want to make him give in and accept to go out with you, you don't want him to feel genuinely bothered by you.

Jisung on the other hand feel likes he can give in at any moment, the second time he saw you looking at him he wanted to stand up and just go to you, telling you he would accept to go out with you, fuck his pride.

“It's okay”, he clears his throat, “You can sit whatever you want”, he says, making you smirk.

“I mean, are you sure?” You lean in his direction, glancing at his lap.

Jisung chokes immediately, coughing so much he thinks he's going to die, you didn't mean what he thinks you do, right?

Class starts before you can mess with him a little bit more, you didn't think you would have so much fun teasing someone.

Jisung stands up and leaves as soon as the professor says the class ended, he doesn't want to stay close to you for a minute more. He couldn't pay attention to class because your scent kept coming his way. He would glance at you and you wouldn't even be acknowledging him, paying 100% of attention in class. It did make him upset that he didn't seem to cause the same reaction in you as you do to him.

Except that, as stated before, you're very good at pretending. You really wanted to tease him every time you caught him staring at you, you could see everything he was doing with your peripheral vision and you wanted to giggle with every time he pouted while looking at you.

That's proof enough for you that not being his type it's not the reason why he's reluctant to go out with you but you didn't even think about the possibility of him not liking girls at all.

“As far as I know, he does like girls”, Changbin tells you. “I'm not sure about guys though, maybe he does too?”

“Well, that's good then”, you sigh, crossing your arms and nodding to yourself, lost in thoughts.

Changbin stares at you for a moment, with a brow raised. “Binnie, can't you help me out? Just this once” You plead again, giving him puppy eyes.

“Nope, I'm not sure what your intentions are but what I know is that you don't do things without a reason”, he shakes his head.

You sigh, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you know how to convince Changbin but it's the first time in your life that you have to resort to such dirty methods.

“You know, I met someone really nice one of these days”, you tell him, smiling friendly. “She's really cute and she has been helping me in a class we have together”, Changbin glares at you. “I think you know her, but she doesn't seem to like you at all…” You pout, making a show.

“What are you trying to say?” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I'm trying to say that if you help me out, I can do the same”, you shrug, “you have so many virtues, Binnie, I'm confident I can make her see you in a different light”

You can at least try to convince her that Changbin is a good guy even though she's absolutely sure that he's bad news.

“Are you saying I should sell out my best friend so you can help me?” You see Changbin hesitate and that's when you push a little more.

“Come on, it's not like I'll do something awful to him”, you say, “I just want one date”

He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, alright”, he grunts. “I'll help you out just this one time and that's it”

“You're the best!” You say, clapping your hands excitedly.

This is definitely not how you thought the help would happen. The sun is burning your skin and the giggles of people around you are making you stressed. A pool party, why did he think this was going to be a good idea?

Just because you're at the same party as Jisung it doesn't mean you'll get a chance to talk to him or even accomplish your goal but even though the odds are against you, you are still going to try.

The day is too hot, the pool is bustling with people and you're uncomfortable in your bikini. In most days you love your body, you think you're pretty just the way you are but sometimes you have bad days, where you feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw you have.

You came to the party because you couldn't lose the opportunity but you can't see Jisung anywhere and your anxiety is only growing bigger. So as soon as you get the chance to escape, you do it. You wander around the frat house, looking for a place with no one, maybe Changbin's room is empty since he pretty much doesn't live in the house.

You walk up the stairs, swerving in the middle of the crowd who are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands, it's very overwhelming.

The corridor where the rooms are have less people, so you walk until the end to find Changbin's nameplate on the door. You knock twice to make sure there's no one there, the music in the pool is pretty loud so you can't hear if there are voices in the room but you wait a few seconds so people can get dressed if there is someone fucking there. You open the door slowly, finding the room empty. Hurrying inside and closing the door so no one sees you going in.

It's a pretty huge room with things that suit Changbin's personality to a T. There's gym equipment all over the place, a big bed in the middle, a door you can only guess leads to a private bathroom and a TV that you're not sure was ever used. But again, your friend only comes by the house once in a while since he lives in an apartment downtown with Chan and Jisung.

Changbin managed to convince Jisung that it would be a good way to promote 3racha if they threw a party and it didn't take much convincing to the frat president since that guy loves partying.

You sit by the bed, trying to take deep breaths. The burning sensation in your chest is easing a bit with the calm and silence of the room. Silence that is immediately interrupted by the door of the bathroom being opened, just to show a half naked Han Jisung coming out of there with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

You two stare at each other for a minute, both not sure what to do next, both frozen. You manage to stand up, turning your back to him, face burning with embarrassment.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone already here”, you clarify. “I- I knocked on the door”, you inform him as if that could change anything.

Jisung finds your reaction funny, he didn't take you for the shy type, who gets flustered by seeing a man like this.

“I was showering, I didn't hear the knock”, he says, walking to Changbin's wardrobe to get some clothes he leaves there for eventual emergencies since the frat house is closer than his house to the university.

“Yeah, I guessed that”, you gulp, trying to calm your beating heart. You didn't get to take a good look at him, but the little you did made you quite surprised. Jisung is pretty athletic and hot.

“You can turn around now”, he says. You do it slowly, still embarrassed.

“I'm sorry again”, you sigh.

“It's okay, it can happen”, he shrugs, sitting on the bed. He can't help but look at you too for a moment, you're wearing a deep green bikini that goes perfectly with the tone of your skin. You have a thin transparent shirt that doesn't leave much to the imagination making him bite his bottom lip. If you try to make a move on him again right now, he won't be able to say no.

However, his not very pure thoughts are interrupted by your uneasiness, shifting your weight from a leg to another, hands trying to cover your thighs. Did he look at you for too long? Did he make you uncomfortable? Jisung diverts his gaze from you immediately, he's always proud to say that he's not the same as the other guys who are just horny and nothing more, but look at him now.

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”, he stands up, ready to leave the room, “I'm sorry”

“No, you didn't make me uncomfortable”, you say, taking a step closer to him to stop him from leaving. “I was already feeling not great”, you clarify.

“Did something happen?” He asks, worried.

“No- I-”, you stop yourself from talking more, why do you actually want to talk to him about your problems? You don't even know him. “I'm having a bad day, my self esteem is kinda low so I feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw I have”

Jisung stops for a moment, malfunctioning. His head tilting to the side as he stares at you with furrowed brows.

“Exactly which “flaws” are we talking about?” He asks, making quotes with his fingers.

“I don't know”, you glance down to your feet, feeling embarrassed. “There are so many girls here who are much prettier than me”, you sigh, “oh, I'm not jealous of them, they are great. I'm a huge activist of women hyping up other women”, you add quickly. “Usually I won't let myself compare to other people, but when I'm having one of these days I just can't help to think things like: is my hair pretty enough? Should I go on a diet? Maybe I should hit the gym more often so I can look like that”, you sigh, you sound ridiculous. You are supposed to make him want to go out with you, not scare him with all your insecurities.

Jisung stares at you for a few seconds, realization hitting him. So you're human too, he already knew that, but seeing the pretty and popular y/n come out of the pedestal people built for her, makes him believe that maybe you're very different from what he thought about you.

“I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this”, Jisung clears his throat, trying to not sound like an idiot, “but I think you're pretty and even though you may have some flaws, everyone has. I can assure you yours are not in your looks”

You feel your cheeks growing hotter, that's surprising, a guy never managed to make you blush.

“But you said I'm not your type”, you pout, seizing the opportunity to tease him.

“Well, I had to say something so you would stop coming after me”, he sighs, “clearly it didn't work”

“So, will you go out with me?” You ask, hopeful and he sighs.

“Why do you want to go out with me so badly?”

“I already told you, you're cute. Also, you make me feel at ease”, it's not a lie. Jisung is the first person other than your friends that effortlessly makes you comfortable.

“Fine”, he huffs, “I already gave you my number so just text me”, he tells you and you smile, is this finally happening? Did he finally say yes?

You planned a whole date in an amusement park, it's cliche for a first date, although you never really went on a date there. You have never done this before for any guy you dated, but there's something about Han Jisung, you just want him to like you.

He's waiting for you in front of the park, looking nervous while scrolling through his phone. You bend down a bit, tilting your head to make him notice you.

“Hey”, you smile waiting for his greeting that doesn't come. Jisung is not easily impressionable but you just leave him speechless every time, he always takes a few seconds to take in your beauty before his brain starts functioning again.

That's the reaction you wanted from him and you are glad you managed to get it. You spent almost four hours getting ready, changed outfits at least ten times and did and redid your makeup over and over. In the end, you chose a natural look. You put on a tight high waisted skirt, a tank top and sneakers since you would be walking a lot. Your hair is down and your make-up is light, so it won't get smudged by hot weather.

“H-hi”, Jisung says, trying to recompose himself, he's not sure if he should comment on how pretty you look or if that would make you uncomfortable.

He can't help but think that it's wrong of him to be there with someone like you, someone totally out of his reach.

“What should we do first?” You ask excitedly, it's been years since the last time you went to an amusement park with your family.

“I think we can walk for a bit and see what catches our attention”, he says and you nod, walking into the park.

There are so many people, Jisung can't help but notice how you're looking around like a child getting to know a new place.

“Do you come often to these kinds of places?” He asks.

“Hm, not really”, you answer, turning around to look at him. “The last time was when I was a child probably”

“Oh?” He frowns. “You seemed excited, I thought your ex boyfriend must have brought you here at least a few times”

“Yeah, well, he was not really the romantic type”, you shrug, a sad smile on your lips.

Jisung doesn't like that, you always look confident and happy, he doesn't want to see you sad again.

“He is an idiot then”, he avoids your gaze, looking around while speaking, “If I had a girlfriend like you, I would move heavens and earth to make her happy”

You feel your heart skip a bit, your cheeks growing warmer and in a few seconds your whole face is burning. You can't believe Han Jisung is making you blush again, saying these words that are messing with your heartbeat.

“Should we go to the haunted house?” You ask awkwardly, trying to change the subject, pointing to the building at the end of the park. You try not looking at him, not sure if your cheeks are still red.

He hums, not really understanding why you look so flustered, he's sure you must hear this kind of thing all the time.

You two enter the house, looking around while walking into the dark. You were very confident in the beginning, you love horror movies, but jump scares are really not your cup of tea and that's the problem. The moment a doll(you assume) holding a knife with a ghost face mask pops out of nowhere you jump… into Jisung's arms. The way his arms immediately wrap around you in a protective position does something to your heart and honestly you feel hot all over.

You didn't even notice the little scares he got, or how he squeezed you every time some scary character showed up. The only thing you noticed was his unexpected strong arms embracing you the whole time until you left the haunted house.

Jisung didn't want to let you go. The moment he felt the cold breeze touching his skin, he knew he had to step back, you are not scared anymore. But he just doesn't want to. You look fragile, shy, endearing. Jisung shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking this, he thought he would be immune to your charms, but it turns out that he understands now why all those guys fawned over you.

He tries taking a step back, threatening to get away from you but you snuggle closer to him, a hand swinging fast to your shoulder so you could grip his hand in place.

“Can- can you keep holding me for a bit?” You ask awkwardly, not really wanting to look him in the eye.

You had no idea you missed being touched this much, you never noticed how cold Seunghoon’s touch was until you felt Jisung's warm hands on you. You're embarrassed for looking so fragile in front of him but not enough for you to let go, not at that moment.

“Yeah, sure”, he tells you, coming closer again and squeezing you against his chest. “Should we walk around for a bit?”

You nod, too lost in his scent to say anything.

Jisung felt strange for a moment. He's not used to letting his instincts take control, he's a very restrained guy. But he can't help but peek at your thighs when the skirt you're wearing rides up a bit, you're tiptoeing while trying to shoot the target with the water gun you have in your hands, like that would help you win.

“Do you really want that plushie?” He asks when you lose once more. “You could probably buy a better one with the money you're spending”, he points out and you pout.

“Where's the fun in that?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. “It's so much more exciting to win the prize”

Jisung finds you cute, you are just so different from all the rumors and how he thought you would be. Other than being someone who's high and mighty or arrogant, you're cute and funny.

Defeated, he sighs, paying for another round. This time he's the one trying.

It's difficult the first time. He never played this game so he has to get used to and understand how to win.

Jisung doesn't notice but you're not looking at the booth or to the target, you're looking at his face. He looks more handsome when he's focused, he has his lips pressed in a thin line and his grip on the water gun makes you shudder just thinking about how that grip would feel on you.

After a few tries, Jisung wins, asking you to choose what plushie you want.

“That one”, you point to the big quokka hanging in the wall. “It looks a bit like you”, you say when you get the plushie, lifting enough so you can compare it with Jisung.

“I'm cuter”, he pouts.

“Definitely”, you assure him, hugging your new plushie while Jisung’s ears grow hotter.

“Should we go to the ferris wheel?” He asks, looking at the time. It'll probably be your last ride since it's already late.

“Yes!” You jump excitedly, “I never had the chance before”, you say while you two walk in the direction of the big attraction.

“Not even when you were a child?” He asks, remembering you said that was the last time you went to an amusement park.

“My parents are not very fun to be around and my little brother was too young”, you say, shaking your head, “I was never very proficient in doing things by myself so I just didn't go”, you shrug.

Jisung feels that there's more to unpack into that topic, but he's not sure if you want to talk about it with him or right now. So he just slides his arm over your shoulder, surprising you by his bold move. You can feel your cheeks growing hot, are you blushing again?

When you hear the gears turning, excitement spreads all over your body but as soon as the cabin stops in the air, you're not so confident anymore.

“It's quite high, isn't it?” you say, looking down, feeling a little dizzy.

“Are you afraid of heights?” Jisung asks, panicked, seeing your face turning pale.

“No, of course not”, you shake your head frantically while shrinking in your seat, “I can't, I'm always at the top of the pyramid in our cheer stunts”, you tell him.

A sudden wave of air brushes over the cabin, making it shake slightly and you turn even more pale if that's even possible.

“You know it's different right?” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you closer to him. Jisung slides one of his hands on your waist, squeezing you close to him and with the other hand he cups your face, making you look at him. “Keep looking at me, you don't have to look down”

Jisung doesn't know why he feels this urge to protect you, of all the people he knows, you're probably the one he thinks needs the least protection. You keep staring at him, he is pretty, his lips are plump and inviting.

“Are you going to kiss me?” You ask when he licks his lips, huge doe eyes staring at him and waiting.

“Do you want me to?” He asks back, not really sure of what to do. Jisung is not certain, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweating, you look so beautiful, so close to him.

So when you nod, he just loses control of every part of himself that was holding him back. He's sure after this, there's no going back, he's lost forever, but maybe he doesn't mind if it means it's you he's lost in.

His lips are soft, clumsily pressing against yours. You can tell he's unsure of how to proceed then why does his grip on you make you burn? He's squeezing your waist against his body like you're going to disappear if he doesn't hold you strongly and the hand he has cupping your cheeks, slowly slides to your hair, pulling it lightly, making you whimper.

In an instant his lips are not on yours anymore, he's trailing kisses down to your neck. You shiver, feeling his warm lips against your cold skin.

“Ah, Ji-Jisung”, you gasp when he bites your neck, sucking the area so deliciously it makes you bite your lips so you won't moan.

He hears your plea, kissing you once again and you notice you are the one that didn't know how to proceed. You've been squirming in his hands this whole time without touching him at all. You take a hand to his face, caressing his cheek and the other goes to his hip, pulling you even closer to him but before you can go further, the shake of the cabin going back down takes you out of your haze. You're in public, you had absolutely forgotten about that.

You stop the kiss, giving a peck on his lips before moving away. He looks disheveled, lips swollen and eyes searching for yours in an attempt to know exactly what you are thinking. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Now that he got a taste of something he should have remained oblivious to, he's not sure he'll be able to let go.

The ride home was awkward, to say the least. You are silent the whole time and Jisung is freaking out. He can't help but think he screwed up really badly. How the hell could he make you lose all interest with just a couple of kisses? Did he go too far by giving you a hickey? Maybe you don't like this kind of thing, you're a cheerleader after all, your image is important.

You on the other hand, have too many thoughts running through your mind, never did a man make you feel so desired with just a kiss. The way he embraced you so possessively was too much for you, Seunghoon never did anything like that. You were always the one searching for his touch, for some affection but it was never quite enough. His touches never really gave you what you wanted, you always thought it was weird, you thought maybe there was something wrong with you.

But how could Jisung make you feel so many things with a simple touch? A simple kiss? You're so lost in thoughts that you don't even notice when the car stops.

“We’re here”, Jisung says, not really looking at you.

You look at him, seeing him biting his bottom lip while squeezing the wheel.

“I had fun”, you tell him, shyly. His head snaps at you, a deep scowl on his face.

“You did?” He asks confused and you giggle, tilting your head.

“Yeah”, you bite your bottom lip, leaning over him without breaking eye contact. “I thought I made it clear by almost melting in your arms while you kissed me”, you tease, seeing his ears growing red.

“I thought maybe I did something wrong, you were quiet”, he looks at you waiting for some more reassurance.

“I'm sorry”, you cup his face, caressing his cheek, “it's been a long time since I felt the way you made me feel, I needed time to recover”, you tell him, pulling him in for a brief kiss.

“Wait, but what about-”

“That's what I'm telling you”, you chuckle, bitterly, “can you imagine feeling more in a night than you ever felt in a year with someone else? It really makes a girl think”

“Ah”, he nods, understanding what you're saying now. “Then, can I call you when I get home?” He asks eagerly, now that he knows that you did enjoy your time with him.

“I'd be mad if you didn't”, you give a peck on his lips, getting out of the car and walking to your front door, waving goodbye to him.

Walking into your empty house you come back to reality. For a moment, just a moment, while having fun with Jisung, you forgot how lonely you really are. It's always been like this, you're already used to it.

Your parents always wanted a boy, so it was disappointing for them when they had a girl. They tried for years to have a boy, getting more and more frustrated as time went by. You were five when they finally made it, their desired son was born and you were left aside.

It's not like they gave you any attention before, but after your brother was born, you were completely forgotten. The first time you went to an amusement park was when you were eight. It was your birthday and you begged them to take you there but in the end you couldn't really enjoy anything. Your brother was too little to play in anything and your parents didn't really want to play with you.

You feel a single tear run down your cheek but you shake your head, you shouldn't be doing that right now. You had fun with Jisung but that's that, you don't want another heartbreak the same as with Seunghoon.

You feel your phone buzzing, taking it out of your pocket to see Jisung's name lightening the screen and an involuntary smile grows on your lips, completely ignoring what you just thought.

“Hey, did you arrive safely?” You ask, walking up the stairs.

“Yeah”, he says, not sure why exactly he wanted to call you. He already said goodnight to you, did he want to hear your voice again? Why is he being so weird tonight?

“Okay, that's good”, you chuckle, putting the phone on speaker to start undressing.

Jisung sits in his bed, he knows you're probably tired but he doesn't want to hang up.

“What are you doing?” He asks, hearing the shuffle on the other side of the line.

“I'm changing”, you answer nonchalantly, not knowing how red his whole face turns the moment you finish saying that.

He doesn't say anything, making you look to the phone to check if he's still there.

“Want some pictures?” You ask playfully, making him choke on his own breath, coughing violently.

“No, I mean we- we just had our first date- I- I don't want you to think- it's too soon”, he rambles saying all that in half a second, making you laugh genuinely while you wander around your room.

You snap a picture of yourself, sending it to him and he freezes when he sees the notification. When he opens the text though, you're wearing a cute pajama with bees stamped on it, making him laugh too.

“You're cute”, he says and you stop in your tracks.

“It's been years since someone last called me cute”, you pout, sliding under your covers.

Jisung guessed that much, your type of beauty is not on the cute side. You have sharp features, most people could say you're on the sexy side and he would too, before tonight. Now, under the cover of a popular hot girl, he found a girl who's hot and popular but can be cute and funny too.

“Goodnight, y/n”, he says, throwing himself back in the bed.

“Goodnight”, you say, feeling your eyes heavy after hearing his goodbye.

Part 2

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[bloop-bl00p]

In defense of Octavia

TW: Lots of Trauma Dumping, Mention of abuse

She’s been wronged way too many times in this fandom for some reason. Look at her vibing, how can you hate her?

I’m a fan of Helluva Boss, mainly because of its potential but the quality dropped dead in the second season. We’re gonna talk about a character I’ve seen other fans misinterpreting in favor of the so-great Prince Stolass.

I want to talk about her mainly because I do what I want and because after studying her character I just realized that she’s just like me. Especially regarding her relationship with her father, I see myself in my younger years.

All of that to say…

She has all the right to feel abandoned.

Octavia obliviously has a stronger bond with her father, it shows in her behavior and little background details

When she wants to draw her family, she draws her and Stolas, we mostly see her being happy with him which leads me to think that she’s emotionally neglected by Stella. To her, Octavia is just an ‘egg’ that fell off her and she doesn't care about the impact killing Stolas could have on her daughter.

Despite being emotionally absent, Stella has a much more physical presence than Stolas. Most of the time Stolas is alone in his castle which leads me to think that Octavia is somewhere else with Stella. They did mention the two went on a weekend somewhere. This leads us to this question…

How can Octavia feel more close to her father?

Here’s the thing, I see a lot of my family dynamic here. My mom doesn’t pay attention to me at all, she doesn't want me to bother her and she makes it clear. My dad, however, who’s absent like 90% of the time, always tried to spare time with me. He explained to me that he was working and why he was doing all of this (I was like barely ten) but it never prevented him from trying to play with me, sharing his hobbies, going on a walk, and else.

He was there emotionally and, as a kid who was bullied, had no friends at all, and a mother who didn't give a damn, I cherished this relationship.

I believe the exact same thing happened with Octavia, we never see her with friends or even outside the castle, she’s isolated. Stolas has Prince duties, we’ve seen him carry them in the shows, hence why he’s mostly absent leaving her with her mother. But, at least when she was a kid, he tried to do stuff bringing her to Loo-Loo Land or being the one to comfort her. That is why she clings to her father, he’s the only one who actually shows her love and she’s terrified of losing that.

Regarding her mother, Stella obliviously doesn't care about her so the feeling is reciprocated. From a narrative standpoint, Stella is an unpredictable force of nature getting angry for pretty much anything that doesn't go her way. So Octativa learned to not cross her mother's path.

I know this expression, this is the “Oh fuck… they’re at it again?” she’s used to her mother's constant screaming, she's used to her parents fighting.

She did say they were a time when a parent didn't hate each other, which to me refers to the time when Stolas tanked Stella’s abuse. But, that doesn’t mean that Stella wasn't abusing him in front of a younger Octavia, she’s erratic and they did imply that she can get physical in her toxic behavior. Since Stella was passive, it was probably mostly harmful comments.

Putting personal things here, my mom was also very abusive to my older sibling. Since I was extremely young I learned not to ‘be a burden’ to avoid being abused as well, which includes things like not talking to her unless she does it first. Whether Octavia is aware of the physical abuse or not, she must know enough to know that it’s a bad idea to annoy Stella.

This is the only picture where we see her seemingly having a good relationship with Stolas, which to me feels like she’s faking it considering all we know about the family.

She has a pretty shitty household but her relationship with her father make it bearable until Stolas did a 180°

He randomly started to prioritize Blitz and don’t spill me the bullshit of ‘he’s trying’ he stopped trying long ago.

Let’s analyze this episode by episode:

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas seemingly tries to rebuild a visibly strained relationship with his daughter by bringing her to a park she liked when she was a kid. To this, she immediately responds with an “I’m not 5 anymore.” and an “I rather kill myself.” There’s no room for miscommunication, she doesn't want to go there, and she won’t enjoy it as much as she did back then. Still, he decides to go there, showing that he doesn't listen, and, he brings the one the thing that is currently ruining his already horrible marriage because of his own actions. Blitzø.

He’s trying to spend time with his daughter after a long time (this is mentioned in the episode) and he decides to bring in that one guy he’s hooking up with to deliberately make sexual remarks about him in front of her.

She’s uncomfortable the whole time, not just because she allegedly doesn’t like listening to her father's comments but because she doesn't like the park. She said it, yet Stolas doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't realize the faces she makes which are to me pretty communicative of her annoyance and discomfort.

This is not even subtle body language, yet he only notices it when she runs off. The worst part is that he still finds a way to think about Blitzø when his daughter leaves.

He looked upset that Blitzø didn't follow him! Did he expect that guy to pursue him constantly? He was in the middle of an argument with his daughter, I personally would have stepped away to give them space to talk and reconcile. But no, apparently Blitzø should be at his beck and call all the time.

But you know what, after all of this. He still apologized. That absolutely does not negate everything he did during the day but, at the end of it, he finally listened to her and even brought her to a place she actually wanted to be. Which is good, he acknowledged her discomfort and did something she liked.

Until Seeing Star.

Look I know Stolas was busy with Stella but he clearly doesn't care about her and her stuff.

Don’t tell me he couldn’t pinpoint Stella’s location with magic and teleport all of her belongings to her. Their discussion was barely about the furniture, he could have said that they were gonna be delivered and hung up the second he saw Octavia. Arguing with Stella is pointless, he’s the number one guy that should know that! Why does he continue to insult her, he’s just fuelling the fire!

Moving out her belongings would have been 10 times faster if he just hung up the phone, then he could have had a more mindful talk with Octavia without the constant bickering of his ex-wife.

But he didn't for some reason, fair enough, I guess. The writers do whatever they want. Anyway, Octavia got angry and ran to go see the stars on her own.

So, Stolas’ castle is in Pride but my point still stands, Octavia had the time to run from home and make the way all from her father's place to the city, find the specific building Blitzø held his organization in and Stolas didn't notice a thing.

You cannot tell me Stella managed to get his attention for that long AND you cannot tell me that his castle is close to the shitty disaffected building and the populace. His daughter ran off and he did not notice a thing.

Not only that but he has the nerve of blaming Blitzø for not watching the book. Like, dude! You should have watched your daughter instead!

Then he spills out more bullshit.

I don’t know Stolas, how could you possibly find her when you were shown to have countless abilities to do so?

Like bubbles projecting the image and locations of people.

Or that on time when you possessed corpses and one woman just to go full eldritch monstrosity just for one that one guy you’re cheating your wife with. And don’t whine about “They don’t love each other.” it’s still affecting his family, mainly his daughter so it’s still bad.

Of course, you do all of that without your grimoire without any problem, brushing it off with a…

I guess he forgot his ‘ways’ when it came to Octavia. But honestly, Loona literally found her easily just by looking at her Instagram account, couldn't he just call her or something? The girl had her phone the whole time and he didn't just think of calling her.

Me when I forget that I have teleportation power when I am in an enclosed space with nobody is looking.

You’re certainly not worrying right now. Via literally told him to his face that she was scared and he kept flirting with him even though he once again caused her to run away because of his neglect.

He’s not trying his best, THIS IS NOT TRYING!

No Loona, his daughter communicated very clearly issues related to their relationship, rather than reassuring her and being there for her as much as it’s realistically possible (he still has duties to carry), he gets in an avoidable petty fight with his ex and keeps an unhealthy dynamics with an imp he's been obsessing over. He doesn't focus, his priorities aren’t straight, and now Octavia feels abandoned.

I did mention that I had a good relationship with my father back then, but it stopped abruptly. His focus changed and he went out with friends after work and gradually stopped spending time with me. Until we never spent time together again, (to give you an idea the only moment where I could see him was in the morning for breakfast) now that can sound silly but I was a child, with no friends and a neglectful mom, losing the only good thing I had in life broke me. I knew his schedule, I knew he was spending time with work buddies and that just stung my self-esteem even more leaving me feeling like a burden when I was just a kid who wanted to feel love.

This is why I don’t like the “He’s trying.” I know what a trying struggling parent looks like and I know what happens when they stop. If you keep trying to do something and you’re constantly failing, either your technique isn’t the right one or you’re not and you’re convincing yourself you are.

And then there are people that’ll tell me that “He lived through the abuse of Stella for years for her.”

If you read all of this then I don’t feel like I need to explain how Octavia was at least partially exposed to Stella's toxic behavior and was affected by it.

For those who don’t know how it feels to live with an erratic mood-swinging person, it’s pure constant stress. You have to think constantly before you talk or move because you know that if you fuck up you’re gonna pay the price. And if you still eventually mess up you can never know with these types of people! You can’t defend yourself because the punishment will be far worse. You are ALWAYS in the wrong.

So he lived through the abuse of Stella just so his daughter could get neglected and abused in a less physical way?

The difference between my parents and Octavia is that they love each other. Stolas doesn't give a damn about Stella, he did say he was nice at first because he empathized with her they were in this shitty situation together, and fine, it's reasonable. But she never changed! Stella stayed the same! Why didn’t he leave her when he stopped carrying about her?! There’s no trauma bounding, Stella isn’t guilt-tripping or manipulating him, they got the child he could have divorced her easily without consequences! If anything, she’s the losing part of this divorce she’s lower in the hierarchy! “Andreaphul will get angry.” HE’S A MARQUIS! Hierarchically speaking Stolas is far more important and he mopes the floor with his peacock ass!

Am I supposed to be empathetic with that one dude who willingly let his daughter grow up in a hyper-toxic environment with an emotionally neglectful and unpredictable wife?! Am I supposed to believe he cares when he kept sleeping in his house in his bed with the same guy his daughter clearly is worried he’s going to leave her with?! Really?!

Don’t ever tell me that this is trying.

[forever-rogue]

can I request a Joel Miller x reader fic where she's in love with him but is convinced he would never have feelings for her too as she's younger than him and shy and quiet but maybe all gets revealed (however you want to do that) 👉👈 super fluffy but put some angst in there too if you wish 🥰

AN | Okay, but I love this so much ❤️

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.3k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

People always seemed to call you shy. 

And you were you supposed, in your own way. It had a lot of perks when you really thought about it, and one of the main benefits happened to be that people often seemed to leave you to your own devices. 

You liked that you had the ability to watch and observe people without question. There was a lot that could be learned when people thought they weren’t being watched. 

And one of your favorite people to study happened to be Joel Miller. 

He was a quiet man and often kept to himself more than anything, but there was still a lot to be gleaned from him. He was resourceful and smart, kind and friendly but not in an overbearing way, and generally…the object of your affections. Not that you would ever admit that to anyone else. You’d never said those words out all loud - and never would. No, that was a secret you would take to the grave. 

You were he probably already knew - you felt like a pathetic, rambling fool around him. He managed to erase every sensible thought in your head and the ability to form any coherent sentences. Instead you fumbled over your words, feeling warm and anxious…so you usually tried to avoid him as much as you. Sometimes it worked, but other times it seemed like he managed to find you or be in the same spot as you at every conceivable moment. 

It sucked. You were sure that one day you’d accidentally spill the beans or somehow give away that fact you were desperately in love with him. As long as you managed to keep your guard up, you were sure that it would all be fine. All you had to do was avoid him for the rest of your life. 

How hard could that be?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey,” that familiar gruff cut through your internal monologue as you gasped in surprise and almost dropped at the stuff in your arms. You turned around to him Joel watched you with a bemused expression on his face, “you alright? Didn’t mean to scare you, kid.”

Kid. You hated when he called you that. It made you feel like you were nothing in his eyes. Just a mere inconvenience. A kid that happened to be in his way.

“‘s alright,” you mumbled, righting the basket in your arms as you turned back to the vegetables and fruits you were tending to, “didn’t hear you is all.”

“Didn’t hear me,” he chuckled, the sound warm and familiar as it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy, “I don’t think I was being quiet in the slightest. Must have been awfully focused on whatever is going on in that pretty little head.”

You froze, eyes widening at his words, but continued to pick the fresh vegetables. You were so thankful that your back was to him as you tried to shrug him off. Otherwise he might have sensed just how flushed your face was and the lovesick expression on your face. 

You. You, you, you. 

"Nothing," you lied through gritted teeth, attempting in vain to slow down the beating of your heart and higher octave of your voice, "just thinking about what new things to plant once the season changes."

"And what did you decide?" Oh yeah. He was totally calling your bluff. 

"About what?"

"The vegetables?" 

"Oh…umm…cucumbers?"

"That's a summer vegetable," you cringed as he made a small sound of amusement. Did the man really have to know everything? You remained silent but could hear him shift, "last time I checked its almost winter."

"Well," you make quick work of gathering the rest of your veggies and placing them gently into the basket, "I guess I'll figure it out later."

You stood up and quickly turned on your heel to leave, rushing to get away and put this whole situation behind. You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist and gently hold you back. When you met his eyes, you noticed the little smile on his face, "everything alright?"

"Peachy," you lied as you gently pulled out of his grasp, "see you around, Joel."

"See you, Kid."

You hoped that maybe you'd never see him again and therefore avoid ever making a fool outside of yourself. 

Unlikely.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :���ﾟ. ───

“And just where do you think you’re going?” you almost jumped in surprise, a small sound of surprise escaping your lips before he clamped his hand over your mouth. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head. You relaxed slightly when you saw it was him. When he realized that you weren’t going to freak out he dropped his hand from your mouth.

“Joel!” you hissed at him, looking around to make sure no one had followed either of you, “what are you doing here?”

“The better question is what are you doing here?” he crossed his arms over his broad chest as he raised an eyebrow at you. You put an innocent smile on your face and shrugged, knowing you weren’t fooling him in the slightest. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” oh. He was loving this way too much already.

“Telling? Wait - no, telling you,” you huffed, annoyed with yourself for how nervous you suddenly felt, “I’m just…here.”

“Here,” he repeated as you nodded, “it looks like you were trying to sneak out of the safety of the QZ.”

“Ummm…” realistically there was no other thing you could have been doing in that particular location. You were both acutely aware of the truth of the situation, “I’m just hanging out.”

“Come on, Kid,” he reached up and brushed a few rogue strands of hair behind your ear, “I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you like to sneak out.”

“I don’t-”

“I don’t care that you do,” he dropped his voice to a whisper as you slowly swallowed thickly, “I care about the fact that it’s not safe.”

“You do it!”

“I can handle myself,” he insisted, putting his finger under your chin in order to turn your face up to his, “not that I don’t think you can. It’s different.”

“I don’t usually get into trouble,” you shrugged, “I just like getting out sometimes. It almost makes things feel normal sometimes.”

He regarded you for a few moments, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly. Your heart skipped a few beats as you wondered if he would yell at you or get you in some sort of trouble, “let’s go.”

“I’m - wait. What?” your eyes widened in surprise when he definitely said the opposite of what you had expected, “go home?”

“Let’s go out,” he reached for your hand and gently took it in his before he started to tug you along towards the way out. You were rooted in place, staring at him incredulously. He laughed, the soft sound made butterflies explode in your tummy, “what?”

“You mean it?” you whispered as the smile on his face grew, “Joel?”

“Let’s go out in the world and get away for a little bit,” he insisted softly. A small part of you was convinced that this was all fake and that he was going to get you in trouble. But the larger part of you knew that Joel would never do just a thing. And the tender look in his eyes solidified that for you, “what do you say?”

“Yes,” you agreed with a shy smile and fervent nod, “let’s go.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You should tell him, you know,” Lizzy nudged your side with your elbow and despite the serious look you were attempting to keep on your face, you giggled lightly. You ignored her comment as you turned back your attention towards the sky, as you studied the big, fat fluffy clouds. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huffed, trying to tune out the way she looked at you with a coquettish little smirk, “busy Lizzy, mind your own business!”

“You’re my best friend,” she reminded you, causing you to grumble at her, but it was all laced with affection, “I’m a part of your life and I’m just trying to get you in the right direction.”

“There is no right or wrong direction,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands, “there’s nothing there, Lizzy. I’m just a dumb kid with a big, fat crush and that’s all it’ll ever be. Can we drop it?”

“You’re so blind! It’s so obvious that he feels the same,” you loved Lizzy, and her tenacity was one of her amazing qualities. But right now it just felt so…overwhelming. You blinked back the tears that had threatened to well up and shook your head, “sweetheart-”

“Lizzy,” you put your hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze, “Joel doesn’t like me like that. I’m just a kid to him and that’s all I’ll ever be, and that’s okay. I’ll get over it…one day.”

“You’re so blind!” she was laughing, and despite the sound being so lovely and soft, your heart constricted in your chest. Before she could open her mouth to say anything else, you heard a loud throat clear from behind you. The two of you sat up in surprise, turning your attention towards the door to the roof. 

Fuck. Of course. Of course Joel Miller had to choose the perfect time to make an appearance. Lizzy had a huge grin on her face as she jumped up from the blanket you’d been lying on you. You looked at her in desperation as she practically skipped over to Joel and past him, smiling sweetly at the older man. 

In your anxious state you held up your hand in a meek little wave. Joel chuckled softly before making his way over to you. Without waiting for an invite, he sat down next to you, his thigh pressed against yours. 

“You heard all of that, didn’t you?” your entire body was warm and you almost wished that something would have popped up to create a distraction. Not like fully on clicker distraction, but something. You keep your gaze trained anywhere but him as embarrassment washed over you. 

“I did,” he admitted as you groaned internally. You could practically feel his pretty brown eyes focused on, but you weren’t ready to die of humiliation just yet. 

“Of course,” you nodded in annoyance, at yourself more than anything. You groaned before letting out a small huff. You finally managed to turn your face towards him and to your surprise, he didn’t look mad or angry, “I’m umm…sorry. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” it was a genuine question that caused you to shrug noncommittally, “the fact that I found out or for the feelings themself?”

“Both, I guess,” maybe the ground could open up and swallow you whole. That might be a nice change of pace, “m-mostly the fact that you found out.”

“So you’re not sorry for the feelings?”

“Can’t really help your feelings, can you?”

“No,” he agreed, shooting a curious little look, “I guess you can’t.”

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward,” you whispered, “I try to stay away from you, but I swear you always seem to pop up out of nowhere. It always feels like the universe is laughing at me.”

“Almost like it wasn’t a coincidence at all…”

“I guess you’re….wait,” you turned your attention to him, allowing yourself to look at the man in question, “not a coincidence? What do you mean?”

“You’re a smart girl,” he praised and oh. If you didn’t enjoy being praised before, you sure did now, “you can put two and two together.”

“I….Joel-”

“Lizzy wasn’t as far off as you think she was,” he stated it so simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your mouth dropped open as you stared at him, waiting for him to drop the just kidding bomb. He put his finger under your chin and gently closed your mouth, “is it really that hard to believe?”

“N-no,” you admitted softly, “I guess not. Just…are you sure? Me? Why…I don’t get it. Why me?”

“Don’t do that,” he insisted firmly, “the self doubt - there’s no reason for it.”

“I’m just…me.”

“Exactly,” he answered, leaving no room for any sort of back-talk, “you’re not just some kid or just a nobody. Not to me.”

“But I…I-”

He rested his hand on your neck, his thumb gently brushing along your soft skin, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Oh. Oh,” your eyes widened for a moment before you felt the soft press of his lips against yours. It wasn’t much of a kiss, more of a soft brushing of lips, both of you testing the waters. When he pulled back, you found him watching you with a soft expression on his face, “that was…you kissed me.”

“I did,” he echoed his words from earlier, “and I’d like to do it again if you’re okay with it.”

“Yes,” you smiled shyly at him, “I’d like that a lot.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” and he was kissing you again, like the two of you had been doing this for a long time, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Maybe you weren’t just some dumb kid after all.

[octuscle]

Hey there! I'm having a debate with my roommate and wondering if you can help settle it. He says that if you gave someone the body of a jock, without any mental changes, they'll eventually start acting like a jock anyway. I don't think that's true. Just because you have muscles and look like a jock doesn't mean you'll start acting like one, right? We were thinking of trying to set up an experiment for our honor's thesis and wanted your input, thanks!

Are you really sure you want to go through with it? We are happy to do it. I'll create a preset for you that only changes your body. But really. 1.90 m tall. 140 kg of pure muscle mass. But everything else stays the same. To be honest, you don't look like you're ready for it. But it's up to you. I can only recommend that you are in a safe and, above all, unobserved place when you activate the preset.

You take a deep breath. You stand naked in the middle of your room. Next to you, you have laid out a pair of tracksuit bottoms, a tank top, a jockstrap, a pair of socks and a pair of sneakers. You can only hope that the clothes will fit your new self. 3. 2. 1. enter!

Wow! Holy shit! Now that was quick and without a transition. You look down at the floor from a slightly greater height. And when you look down, all you see are pecs. Fucking huge pecs. You need a mirror. Phew! Very slowly! The new body works a little differently than the old one… Your center of gravity is much higher up. You stand in front of the mirror. This no longer has anything to do with you. It's more Greek demigod than human. Your cock is getting hard. A huge cock that fits this huge body. You never wank. Especially not in the middle of your room. But now you have to. Not for long. And a huge load lands on the mirror and the floor. Yes, I've changed a few details apart from the height and muscle mass. You've already noticed one thing. You'll notice the others too.

You're convinced that the new body won't change anything. So you act as you always have. First of all, you clean up the mess. You are manically clean and tidy. Then you put on your clothes. The shoes are a bit tight, but otherwise everything fits pretty well. So off you go to the library. After all, your honors thesis isn't going to write itself.

Iris and Rita at the information desk didn't recognize you when you greeted them. They looked at you as if you were an alien when you wished them a good morning. You sat down at your regular place in the library. You like routines. You started working on your thesis outline when Vincent came over. Vincent always sits three tables behind you. Nice guy, similarly obsessive as you. He clears his throat and says that you can't sit here, the seat is taken. Actually, you should have said something along the lines of "Vincent, don't you recognize me, it's me!". But somehow you can't help it. You have to try it out. You cross your muscular arms behind your head, look deep into his eyes and just ask who cares. Vincent retreats like a beaten dog. Three minutes later, you have a WhatsApp message: "There's some stupid musclehead sitting in your seat!" You reply that it's okay, you're not on campus for a few days for empirical studies anyway.

But you're not as productive as usual. Your new body is keeping you busier than you thought. It feels so good to tense your muscles. Your hard cock is constantly leaking precum and is always half stiff. Shit, after an hour you have to jerk off. Fuck, you make quite a mess in the toilet. You try to clean everything up with toilet paper. When you come out of the stall, a student is standing at the urinal, looking at you and wanking. Get out of here quickly, you think to yourself.

The incident is definitely worth recording. After all, you've never experienced this before. But it was hot. As you type out your thoughts, your stomach begins to growl. So loud that Vicent hisses "Pssst". It's actually too early for lunch. But the canteen is about to open. So you're one of the first in the queue. You can hardly wait. And you heap heaps of food onto your tray. You're so hungry.

The weather is good, you sit down at a table in the sun and, ignoring all the table manners, you wolf down your food. Suddenly you hear a voice shouting "Hey, guys, there are empty seats here with the big boy!" You look up. A couple of idiots from the football team are standing at your table. "Dude, okay if we join you?" asks one of the guys, who seems to be some kind of leader. "Sure thing," you say with your mouth full, spitting a bit of your chicken across the table. "Cool," he replies, giving you a fist bump, which you return somewhat hesitantly and also a little awkwardly. And before you know it, you're sitting in a cloud of sweat, testosterone and stupid comments.

You start talking to the boys more for scientific reasons. They ask if you're Fresman because they've never seen you before. You say that you're actually studying somewhere else, but you're here to work on your Honor's thesis. The leader spits his Coke across the table. "Fuck, dude! You already have a degree? In what? Lifting iron?" Everyone laughs. Very loudly. You too. It's actually really funny with the boys…

The boys go to the gym after lunch. I wonder if you're coming too. You don't even think about it. You just say that you haven't got anything to change into. Everyone laughs and asks if anyone is interested. So you go along. It's a field study, you think to yourself. You're observing everything very closely. You don't want to attract negative attention. The processes seem very simple. You copy what you see the boys doing. You even enjoy it. You work up a sweat. You forget the time. The others are gone at some point. You're still here. You look in the mirror. Your long, sweaty hair falls across your forehead. Your friends all have much shorter hair. It's also more practical when working out. You look at your watch. Shit!!!!! You have to get your stuff from the library before it closes. Trevor, sitting at the information desk, doesn't recognize you either. It's already very empty when you pack up your things. Vincent is still there, mumbling something about how antisocial it is to occupy a space you're not using. You don't know why you're doing this now. But you go to him very slowly. You press his face into your armpit. And say that you had more important things to do. Shit, Vincent is seriously licking the sweat out of your armpit hair now? Pathetic little fucker, your new friends would say now. You're far too surprised. By you. By him. Slightly disturbed, you go home. You throw yourself on your bed and think about your first day as a jock. You fall asleep.

You are actually a person who is always well prepared. But you are amazed at how little you have prepared for this experiment. You have a combination to wear. It's still sweaty after yesterday's workout. But you don't have anything else. So this morning you're not going to the library, but to the paint shop. Shopping. A pair of sweatshorts, a few tank tops, socks and jockstraps, sneakers. A bit of compression gear for training. You pass a barbershop. There are a couple of guys inside who are obviously no strangers to the gym either. Fuck it, you think. Down with the long hair!

You haven't been in the library this late in a long time. Vincent has blocked your seat for you. With a few protein bars. Cute! He winks at you when you come in. You raise your arm and smell your armpit. Shit, you haven't showered! Fuck… Well, maybe the little prick will like that even more…

By lunchtime with the boys, you at least want to have logged yesterday and this morning. And you're looking for some literature on the connection between mind and body. Most of it is ancient. Nothing has been published on the subject for a long time. And if there is, it's more about the effect of the state of mind on the body. Less often on the effect of the body on the state of mind. That's obvious, because normally a genius like you doesn't acquire a body overnight…

The lunch break with the boys was cool. The guys are just very chilled, you like that. No highbrow topics. Just sport, fucking and partying. Unfortunately, a lot of football too. You have no idea about that. After lunch, the boys want to throw some balls on the lawn. You have to go to a colloquium later. And Luke said that you should finally replace those nerdy glasses with contact lenses. The visit to the optician was a good excuse not to embarrass yourself at football.

A whole day without going to the gym sucks! That's why you got up early today. You didn't do your thesis assignments yesterday, nor did you get your muscles burning. That has to change. Shit, you're still struggling with your contact lenses. But it looks a thousand times better. You're screaming alpha with every trained muscle fiber. And that's great! You almost feel at home in the gym. And nobody questions your position. In the library, Vincent provides you with everything you need. He fetches books for you and takes them away again. He has also already offered to help you with your work. What a loser! You don't need to order anything in the canteen after just two days. Your extra large portion of extra protein-rich food is prepared especially for you. Twice. You come once when the canteen opens. And once just before it closes. Your body is a machine. And this machine needs fuel. Lots of fuel.

You sit in the library and document the developments of the last few days. It really is only a few days. Reading through the last few lines almost makes you nauseous. Has your body replaced your mind so quickly? You need to get a grip on yourself. You did your Master's with distinction. You're working on your honor's thesis. You have a chance of getting a professorship at your old college. And you suddenly prefer to spend more time in the gym or with the airheads on the football team? You make a plan. Two hours of gym in the morning, two hours break with the bros at lunchtime, two hours of gym in the evening. And in between, focus on your thesis and your studies. It shouldn't be that difficult. You're an intelligent and disciplined man. So let's get going!

You have made every effort. And you actually come to the conclusion in your thesis that the body of a jock does not automatically lead to the mind of a stupid, arrogant and superficial jock. You have fun with both. Training in the gym and hanging out with the bros. And working scientifically and researching the human psyche. But in a lecture you realize that it's not you who changes, it's your environment that changes you. Since you got this body three weeks ago, no one has spoken to you about your studies. Vincent, who you thought was intellectual through and through, just wants you to let him lick your armpits in the evening. Your bros didn't even ask you what you were studying. And then the day comes when you attend your doctoral supervisor's lecture. Since your transformation, you've only spoken or written on the phone. You sit in the front row. You appreciate your doctoral supervisor for his liberal political views, his rhetorical skills and his incredible knowledge. At the end of his lecture, he looks at you. And asks if the young man, who unfortunately was unable to dress appropriately, understood a word of what he had just said. He assumes you were mistaken in the lecture hall. But if you invest your energy in your biceps and not your brain, that's to be expected.

First you think about whether you are saying anything particularly intelligent. To express your indignation at his insolence. To justify yourself. But then you think about what has been really fun in the last few weeks. And who you really had fun with. And you answer "Nah, professor dude! Dat wuz alot of words n stff u sed. I dnt thnk I need all dat for my degree as a personal trainer. wdut, bro?" You make your pecs dance. The lecture hall laughs. You stand up. Fuck the honor's thesis!

You started studying sports economics again. You also work as a trainer in a fitness studio. And you have a pretty successful YouTube fitness channel. You recently received a call from your old doctoral supervisor. He read through the draft of your honor's thesis again. It was all very promising. Why did you drop out? You say that you obviously have to choose between brains and brawn at some point. And you're grateful to him for helping you decide. And with that you hang up.

[waldau-archived]

softie — choi seungcheol | 890 words | fluff

#melonpan :c also, my need to include marriage in every other fic of mine needs to be studied.

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

"are you sure it wasn't as bad as i thought it was?"

you stop combing through seungcheol's hair with your fingers. "yes."

"really?"

"yes."

"i mean, i broke a plate, stepped on your mom's foot and—"

"i was there."

"—swore in front of your dad."

"i know, baby."

"promise it's okay?"

"seungcheol, if you ask me that question one more time, i'm going to eat up all of your melonpan."

seungcheol tilts his head up to look at you from where he's sitting on the floor between your legs. he tries to put on his best hurt face. "what happened to cheol? or love of my life? or even...pookie?"

you laugh. "you want me to call you pookie?"

"...no. but anything's better than my name."

"no," you say, resuming combing through his hair and detangling a particularly stubborn clump. "your name is lovely, even if you insist it isn't."

"it's just so...serious. it sounds like i'm going to get scolded."

"it's you. and i like it. but tonight didn't go bad at all, baby."

the thing is, seungcheol's never met anyone's parents before. at least, not since he became an idol. you had been telling him your parents should be more worried about hosting an idol at their place for dinner but seungcheol had been stressing about it for a couple of weeks, worrying about what to wear and what to gift and how to sit, till you held him by the shoulders and very sternly told him to be himself, and nothing more.

he's done just that tonight, and he's landed himself in this predicament now.

"you're just saying that to make me feel better."

you sigh and your hands stop working in his hair again. now seungcheol can't have that, so he turns around and clings to your leg.

"cheollie!" you say immediately, ruffling his hair. he lets go. "what, are you really that scared of what my parents think of you?"

"yes? they're your parents. and i met them for the first time yesterday. what if they tell me to stay away from their only child for the rest of my life because they didn't like my shirt yesterday?"

you fish out the television remote from behind the cushion and toss it into his lap. "show me a fancam of yours while i finish working on your hair. choose one you really like."

that doesn't sound good. why would you ignore what he said in favour of something else? unless—

"did they—"

"choi seungcheol."

that shuts him up. he scrolls through some videos on youtube and picks one he thinks looks good. you pull out a rubberband and gently tie his hair into a ponytail. seungcheol swears you have magic hands, because you've never once hurt him whenever you've volunteered to do his hair.

"done," you say, pushing him a bit forward so you can stand up.

seungcheol groans. "don't leave me alone."

"i'm just...going to get us some water?"

"i'm having a crisis here."

you giggle and sit back down, tugging at him till he climbs up and rests against your chest, both of you watching his videos of choice together. your grip on him tightens even though you don't say anything. seungcheol keeps quiet about it for exactly two and a half fancams before he twists to look at you.

you have a goofy smile on your face, and he feels kind of silly for wishing you were looking at the real life him, and not the one on the screen.

"what is it?"

"what?" you ask, looking down at him.

"you're smiling. at him."

you snort. "that's you."

"yeah, but i'm right here."

your eyes crinkle when you smile at him. seungcheol just feels like he's stepped into bright sunshine after a cold day.

"i was watching some edits of yours yesterday."

"oh. were they any good?"

"really good. but i wonder what your fans would think if they got to know you're the biggest softie in the world. none of that supposed alpha stuff here."

seungcheol pouts, but he can't keep it up for long. he's pretty much at his best when he's with you. you're the reason why he can physically feel his shoulders relax most days. you're also the reason he finds himself smiling a lot more.

"supposed?"

"well..."

seungcheol turns to bite your arm gently. you push his head away, not before pressing a kiss to it. "stop worrying so much, okay? you didn't mess up anything with my parents. do you have any idea of how much my mom liked you?"

"she...did?" 

"yeah. and my dad asked me when we're going to visit again."

seungcheol feels his worries dissipate. you don't look like you're saying it to placate him, but...

"are you..."

"...sure? cheol, my mother literally asked me when we're planning to get married. i think that's enough for surety, isn't it?"

seungcheol swears he can feel his heart beating fast enough to escape his chest. of course he'd love nothing more than marrying you one day, even if it's a long way down both of your futures.

"hm," is all he can say, settling back down against you. he doesn't mind you smiling at the version of him on the television. he's the one who's going to get to marry you, after all.

[scary-grace]

camera shy - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

You're a villain who likes catching heroes in compromising positions, and when you can't do that, you put them there yourself. It's not until you capture Tenko Shimura that you lose the upper hand. (All Might rescues Tenko AU, pro hero!Tenko, villain!reader, 2k words. Suggestive if you squint.)

There’s nothing pro heroes care about more than their image, so in your opinion, they were just asking for a villain like you. Somebody has to show the public what the heroes are really like underneath, after all, and you’ve got a flair for the dramatic, so why shouldn’t it be you? All it really takes is a little research, a little luck, a decent video camera or two, and a hell of a lot of rope.

It’s not the heroes with the skeletons in their closets who interest you. Somebody like Endeavor, who’s been at the center of scandal after scandal, has nothing new to say. You like a hero who still has a secret or two, a hero who’s a real challenge to capture long enough for a good confession cam. With those criteria in mind, it really was inevitable that you’d go after newly minted pro hero Tenko Shimura.

You have to hand it to Tenko – he was hard to catch. You knew he’d be hard to catch, given his quirk, but that was what made catching him so much fun. You caught one of his hands first, then trapped the other while he was still trying to figure out what was going on, and then you went to work. Now you have his hands tied above his head, fingers splayed apart so he can’t bring them together or touch anything else. With other heroes, you’ve done some fancy rope-work to jazz up the shot, but you don’t think you need that here. Tenko looks pretty good just like this.

Tenko Shimura watches you through narrowed red eyes as you adjust the camera angles. “Are we shooting a porno or something here?”

“Careful what you say, hero. This is all B-roll,” you say, and Tenko blanches. “I’m kidding. Loosen up.”

“Loosen up. Right.” Tenko rolls his wrists, but you’re confident in your knots, and they hold. “Seriously. What am I doing here?”

“We’re just going to have a talk,” you say. Tenko’s eyes follow you from camera to camera. “You’ve seen my videos, right? Or at least you’ve seen the ones your friends were in.”

“Yeah.” A jagged smile crosses Tenko’s face. “I’ve seen what you did to them.”

“What I did to them?” you protest. “I was so nice to Spinner. We talked about video games. It was fun.”

“Yeah, and then the whole internet tore him up for being a geek.”

“Not the whole internet,” you disagree. The comments on your video were full of gamer girls jumping up and down to ask Spinner out, and you know that at least a few of them went so far as to shoot their shot. “That’s the problem with you heroes. Why do you need everybody to like you so bad?”

“I don’t need everybody to like me,” Tenko says. You raise your eyebrows. “If you wanted a hero who thinks it’s a popularity contest, you grabbed the wrong guy.”

“See, I think that means I picked the right guy.” You sit down cross-legged beside the main camera, ready to adjust it if needed but well out of the shot. “The heroes who care about the rankings, they never say anything interesting. But you, Tenko Shimura – I bet you have some really interesting things to say.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Tenko rolls his wrists again. “The thing is, Cam Girl –”

“Hey,” you protest. “That’s not my code name.”

“You don’t have a code name?”

“Yeah, because it’s not about me,” you say. Cam Girl. God. “You’re deflecting.”

“So are you,” Tenko says. He tilts his head, studying you. “If you don’t want to be Cam Girl, come up with a better name.”

“What, like you did?” you challenge. “You know how many heroes use their full names? Kamui Woods and you. Is that really a club you want to be in?”

“If the other option is the can’t-make-up-a-name hide-behind-a-camera brigade, yeah,” Tenko says. It’s quiet for a second or two. “You take a lot of risks pulling jobs like this, don’t you? Kidnapping people and holding them in place for hours – either you’re really good, or you’ve got blackmail material on somebody important.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” you say, and smirk. “Impressed?”

Tenko shakes his head, which annoys you. He’s tied up in your makeshift lair. He should be impressed. “I can’t figure out why a villain gutsy enough to kidnap heroes is too chicken to get in front of the camera.”

“I run the show. I’m not the show. That’s – are you making chicken noises at me?” You’re losing control of this interview. You need to get it back, effective immediately. “Animal noises. Is that one of your special talents? Do an elephant sound next.”

“No animal sounds. And no more answers,” Tenko says. The smirk on his face says he’s got you right where he wants you, in spite of the fact that you’re in charge. You feel a brief but powerful urge to knock him out. “Unless you get in here with me.”

“What?”

“I’ll answer your questions,” Tenko says, “but you have to sit here with me and answer mine. On camera.”

“If I show my face on camera, this will be my last interview,” you say. “I still have lots of heroes who need a close-up.”

“Damn, I thought I was your one and only.”

“The only one tied down here is you,” you say. How bad do you want this particular interview? Pretty bad. Tenko Shimura’s the most interesting hero you’ve captured so far, and if all it takes to get him really talking is to put on some sunglasses and a surgical mask, it’s worth it. “Sit tight.”

You adjust the cameras to frame both of you, then sit down in the frame facing Tenko Shimura. “Nice disguise,” he says, “but I already saw your face.”

“No, you didn’t,” you say. “Think about it. Have any of the heroes I’ve interviewed been able to describe me afterward?”

Tenko doesn’t answer. “Here’s my first question. What’s your quirk?”

“You think I’ll tell you that?”

“If you want to know what my weakness is,” Tenko says. “Don’t you?”

No. You’re surprised by how quickly the answer occurs to you, and how strongly you feel about it. Your whole project is about exposing heroes’ secrets. It’s not about getting them killed, which is what you filming this and sharing it would be. “I don’t care about that,” you say. “I want to know what the worst part of being a hero is.”

“The worst part?”

“The worst part. Don’t tell me being a hero is just so plus ultra all the time.”

Tenko snorts. “You want me to say villains, right, Cam Girl? That’s the answer you want.”

“I want the truth,” you say. “And don’t call me Cam Girl.”

“The truth.” Tenko thinks about it. And keeps thinking about it, long enough for you to wonder if he’s trying to stall you. “The worst part about being a hero is that I can’t do it all the time.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t do it all the time. I don’t want to do it all the time,” Tenko says. You reach over and adjust the camera on the right. You need to zoom in. “It’s my job. It’s not everything about me. The whole work-life balance thing. You know, the thing All Might is really bad at.”

You’ve never heard a hero roast All Might like that. Then again, Tenko was All Might’s protégé before he turned pro, so he’s probably gotten a better look at all of All Might’s good and bad habits than anybody else. “So, All Might –”

“Let me finish, Cam Girl,” Tenko says. His expression is serious. “I don’t want to be a hero all the time. But I know what happens when heroes are looking the other way. And I don’t like thinking about that happening when I’m like – playing video games or something.”

You should ask about video games. Since the video game segment of Spinner’s interview went so viral, you can probably net Tenko a gamer girlfriend. Instead: “What happens when heroes aren’t looking?”

“Nope. It’s my turn,” Tenko says. You guess it probably is. You brace yourself. “What’s your favorite part about being a villain?”

“That’s a new one,” you say, for lack of anything better. “Huh.”

“Like I said, a setup like this is a lot of work,” Tenko says. “And capturing a pro isn’t easy. There must be something you like about it, or you wouldn’t do it. So what is it?”

Tenko gave you a good answer. You feel like you owe him a decent one, and you have to think about it for a second. “I like being free. Not just to do what I want, but to say what I want. And as a – villain, I guess – I can make sure people listen to me. I make sure they listen to my interviewees too.”

You and Spinner didn’t just talk about video games. He talked a lot about being a heteromorph, and you left it all in the video you eventually posted. “My turn now,” you say. “What happens when heroes aren’t looking?”

Tenko’s eyes shift away from yours. “Ask something else.”

“I’ll give you an extra question if you answer this one,” you bargain. “What happens when heroes aren’t looking?”

“Why did you pick me?”

You blink. “Was there a real reason?” Tenko continues. “Or was I just next on your hit list?”

“No,” you say. “I’ve been looking for a chance.”

You have. You had to. Tenko’s anything but an easy target, and if you wanted to capture him, you had to plan ahead. Tenko looks surprised by your answer, but you don’t think he’s unhappy. It’s quiet for a few moments. You’re expecting him to ask his next question. Instead, he answers yours. “What happens when heroes aren’t watching,” he says. “Look closer.”

Look closer? You sit forward, leaning in to study Tenko Shimura’s face. Leaning in maybe a little closer than you should. A lot closer than you’d need to be to see what he’s talking about. “Your scars.”

“People think I got them from a villain,” Tenko says. “I got one of them from my dad.”

Your stomach drops, and you find yourself leaning in closer, one hand already rising before you can think to ask. “Can I –”

“Uh – yeah.” Tenko glances away from you, then looks back. “If you want.”

There are two scars on Tenko Shimura’s face, one over his right eye, the other over the left side of his mouth. They’re both old and smooth, but still obvious. Scars on a person’s face rarely fade. You run your index finger lightly along the scar, and Tenko’s eyes flutter shut. “This one was me,” he says. “When my quirk awakened. I was scratching my face.”

“You must have scratched really hard,” you say. “How old were you?”

“Five.” Tenko’s eyes stay closed. “The one on my mouth was him. He hit me with – something. I don’t remember what.”

You touch that scar, too. Run your index finger over it, like you did with the other one, only this time you can’t make yourself stop. “I’m sorry.”

Tenko’s lips move beneath your finger. “Why? You weren’t there.”

“What you said, about heroes not watching –” This is why you always do interviews. You’re not good at answering questions. “I think that’s when the rest of us are supposed to be doing it. I mean, not us, because we were kids, but – you know what I mean, right?”

“I don’t know. Kind of hard to focus right now.” Tenko’s eyes seem perfectly focused on you. You’re used to your interviewees glaring at you, but nobody’s been as intense about it as Tenko Shimura has. “I don’t remember this from your other interviews.”

“I’m just going with it,” you say. You’ve gone with it far enough that your hand is shifting to cradle his jaw, even as you lean in closer. “What do you think?”

Tenko Shimura’s scarred lips part ever so slightly. “Keep going.”

[spencerrsmopbucket]

When It Rains, It Pours | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Summary: After a frustrating and long case, Spencer walks you home from a late night of paperwork. To your luck, it starts pouring. But are you really so unlucky? Word Count: 3,065.

Normally, you had nothing but good things to say about your line of work. You loved it, in all honesty. You loved helping people, you were interested in the inner workings of people's minds, and you enjoyed the fast paced energy of the job. Even more, you loved your co-workers. They were your best friends. But sometimes.. Work got frustrating.

You hated when things were slow. You hated when you couldn't figure things out. You hated when you felt time slipping through your fingers, feeling helpless. And this last week had been all of that combined. You'd been in Maine on a case; the most frustrating case you'd ever been on. It was a week long, spent mostly in offices staring at information you'd already read fifteen times. And when you finally got into the action, you had to go hand to hand with some greasy farm hand with no backup.

You'd even been spit on by the Unsub. And even worse? It got in your mouth! And now, you sat in the bullpen at your desk, filling out piles of goddamn paperwork.

You were almost sure you were going to go crazy. It was eerily silent in the bullpen, besides the slight noise of Spencer Reid, your colleague and friend, beside you. You were so bored that you began to study him.

Every so often, he'd make a slight hum or a 'tsk' at something on a file. For someone that could read 20,000 words a minute, he worked quite slow. But at least he was thorough. You couldn't lie; he wasn't the worst person to spend time looking at. In fact, Spencer was rather cute, though you'd never admit it to anyone.

You were attracted to his mind, before anything else. He was so incredibly smart, so much that it made you swoon. And he was playfully dorky. And witty. His wit went hand to hand with his humor. And after his mind, he was physically attractive. He had dark, curly hair and pretty brown eyes, combining well with his gorgeous smile and straight teeth. He dressed clean, in a dress shirt usually paired with a sweater or a vest. Sometimes, to your delight, he rolled his sleeves up to the creases of his elbows, showing off his strong forearms. And he--

Stop, you reminded yourself. You were supposed to be working.

To put it lightly, you had a massive crush on Spencer. It was something you battled with daily. You had to keep your swooning under wraps.

To interrupt your secret thoughts, Spencer cleared his throat, looking at you curiously.

"You okay?" He asked softly, noting how you'd zoned out. "If you’re zoning out, it’s actually your brain’s way of conserving energy. It shifts into a sort of default mode, which is why you might find yourself lost in thought. Studies show that the brain is almost as active during these periods as it is when you’re focused—just on different things." He explained, a half smile on his face.

You coughed, clearing your throat. Of course he'd noticed -- Spencer notices everything. It was just a bit awkward that he had noticed while you were thinking about him.

"Yeah." You smiled back, looking back down at the file you had been working on. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

Spencer lets out a hum of acknowledgement, quickly reading something over on his own files before answering. "I understand. I'm tired too. I didn't expect to have so much paperwork for such a.. A lackluster case." He lets out a breathless chuckle.

You snort, leaning back in your chair.

"Me either. And of course we'd be the ones stuck here doing it."

Spencer shrugs, a half smile on his face.

"Better us than Hotch, I suppose. He'd be grumpy in the morning and we'd be paying for it."

Spencer was speaking the truth -- late night paperwork was Hotch's biggest downfall. It was becoming a thing for your colleagues and yourself not to even entertain the idea of letting Hotch do it. If he didn't, he'd have no reason to be so brooding in the mornings.

You and Spencer continued working in silence for a while, the rhythmic sound of typing filling the air and the quiet scratching of a pen. As the hour dragged on, the room grew quieter, the only noise coming from the occasional rustle of paper or Spencer’s soft hums of concentration. Eventually, you looked up at the clock: it was nearing midnight.

You groan, rubbing your temples. Being out this late sucked for you. You always woke up with a headache and wanting to throw yourself back under the covers; you weren't really a morning person to begin with.

Picking up your noise of frustration, Spencer glanced up at the time himself. He winced, and then his expression softened into one of thoughtfulness.

"It's getting pretty late," He said softly, glancing at you. "I know you don't live far, but.. I know you don't love the route so much. I could walk you if you like." He offers, a soft smile on his lips.

You could've actually swooned and dropped dead. You would've died happy. But you felt that it would be an inconvenience for Spencer to do this; he walked too, but his apartment was the opposite direction of yours.

You smiled back, a small blush spreading across your cheeks. You cursed yourself, but turned to answer Spencer.

"Um.. That's okay, Spence. You live the other way and I don't want to keep you out any later than you have to be."

Spencer pursed his lips.

"Actually, it’s no trouble at all. I know it’s a bit of a detour for me, but it’s more important to me that you get home safely with decreased anxiety," he says, offering you a soft smile. "Plus, it’s a nice break from paperwork, and I could use some fresh air myself. Consider it a small favor from a friend."

You inhaled to speak again, furrowing your eyebrows.

"Spen--"

"Name. Let me walk you home. Please?" He persisted, looking at you softly. "It would make me feel better. It's midnight and walking home alone in the dark can be risky."

You exhaled, nodding.

"Okay. Yeah, it would be great actually. Thank you."

He gave you a small smile, and you both gathered your things. As you walked out of the bullpen and into the night, the crisp air felt refreshing after hours of being cooped up inside. The streetlights cast long shadows, and the city was unusually quiet.

You walked in a comfortable silence. Spencer was right; you hated walking this route at night, in the dark. Despite being a federal agent, after hours, you didn't love the idea of being alone in situations like this. Surprisingly, you weren't even judged for it. It seemed that a lot of the team had the same hesitations with certain things.

You felt even better with how Spencer had positioned the two of you. He was doing something called the "sidewalk rule," usually typical of couples. He walked on the outside of the sidewalk, shielding you from the street and anybody on it, including the cars passing by. You were on the inside; the scariest thing you came into contact with were untrimmed hedges on apartment lawns.

Your position threatened to make you blush, but you somehow kept it down. You felt like a schoolgirl; it was like everything Spencer did made you want to kick your feet.

You and Spencer chatted casually eventually, the conversation drifting from case details to your mutual love of old detective novels. The night seemed to be winding down peacefully until dark clouds began rolling in, and a sudden crack of thunder startled you both.

“Looks like we’re in for some rain,” Spencer observed, his tone almost scientific, as if he were analyzing a weather pattern. Just as he finished speaking, the first heavy drops began to fall. You cursed under your breath, eyeing the dark clouds above you, the difference in color between the black sky and gray clouds.

"Damnit. I'm sorry, Spence.. I shouldn't have had you walk m--"

Spencer snorted, nudging you.

"Name. You have no reason to apologize unless you can see the future or make it rain. It's fine. It's just water." He said matter-of-factly.

It was as if your acknowledgement of the rain made it come down harder. Soon, it was pouring.

You both quickened your pace, but it was too late. The rain poured down, soaking you both within seconds. You laughed, the sound mingling with the patter of rain. Spencer looked over, his hair plastered to his forehead, and grinned back at you, clearly enjoying the unexpected adventure. Even in the horrible rain, he looked so attractive. The water traveled in drops down his face, the humored grin on his face shining in the street light.

“Let’s find some cover,” he suggested, his voice barely audible over the rain. He took your hand, rain making his grip slippery as he led you towards a nearby gazebo in the park, its structure providing a welcome respite from the downpour.

You blushed at the grip of his hand on yours, heat contrasting the coldness of the rain pouring around you.

Once inside, you both shook off as much water as you could, though you were still dripping wet. His hand left yours, almost making you shiver at the loss of his body heat. You couldn't help but feel disappointed. The rain continued to fall heavily outside, creating a soothing, rhythmic noise on the gazebo’s roof. The cool, damp air and the close proximity made the situation feel oddly intimate.

Your clothes were plastered to your body, soaked and dripping onto the wooden floor of the gazebo. You looked outside of the gazebo at the sky. It was covered with clouds, an occasional bright flash of lightning exposing them to you. You bit your lip, frowning.

Turning to Spencer, you found him already looking at you.

"Spence, I'm--"

He interrupted you, a small smile on his face.

"Don't apologize. This is kind of nice, in a way," Spencer said, shrugging. "You know, the rain, the quiet. It’s… peaceful. After a week of dealing with such grim things."

Spencer’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a silence that spoke volumes. You could see the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the rain-soaked air, casting a warm light on his face. He was so pretty this way, you thought. His curls dripped water and his warm brown eyes were just as expressive as usual.

Realizing your silence and your staring, you cleared your throat to speak. A blush spread across your cheeks yet again.

“Yeah, it is. Thank you for walking me home. Or trying, at least. I really appreciate it.” You mumbled, looking up at him.

A flash of something crossed his face, but you couldn't quite catch what it was. Spencer could sometimes be a difficult person to read. Probably because he was so different.

To your slight shock, Spencer’s gaze softened, and he took a step closer, his usually awkward demeanor replaced with something more confident, more vulnerable. “I’m glad I could. I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you outside of work. It’s nice to see you like this, just… relaxed.”

His words caught you off guard. Your face immediately resumed the blush you'd tried so hard to fight off; Spencer was unintentionally trying to kill you. But a flutter of hope and excitement spread through your chest, though you were sure he didn't mean it the way you wanted to perceive it.

The air between you and Spencer felt thick with unspoken words and unacknowledged feelings. The rain outside created a serene backdrop, making the moment feel softer. More approachable. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the stutter of nerves in your chest. It felt like this was an opportunity to finally be honest, to stop crippling yourself by stuffing everything Spencer made you feel inside.

"Spencer.." you began, your voice trembling slightly. "I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you tonight, even if it was under these… circumstances."

A beat passed. You almost began to regret what you'd said, hoping it didn't reveal too much, so that you could reword yourself if he didn't feel the same way about things.

Spencer’s gaze softened, his own nervousness evident in the way he avoided eye contact. Finally, he spoke. "I’m glad you feel that way," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve been wanting to… well, I’ve been wanting to get closer to you, but I didn’t know how to say it."

You felt your heart stutter, a mix of hope and apprehension swelling in your chest. Closer? He wanted to get closer?

"Closer.. What do you mean?" you asked, your voice almost too quiet to hear over the rain.

Spencer hesitated, his hand reaching out slowly to gently touch your arm. The touch was light, almost as if he were afraid to impose. You almost would've thought an alien had taken over his body; Spencer was usually so avoidant of touch, a germaphobe and far too awkward for it. His eyes were soft, shyly looking at you in the hazy darkness.

"Like… this," he said, his fingers brushing against your skin. "I didn’t want to make things awkward or anything, but I’ve felt something more between us for a while. I just didn’t know how to… express it."

You couldn't believe it. If you weren't trained to keep things inside to avoid being exposed (FBI agent things), you would've squealed. You'd never dreamed that in a million years Spencer would be having this conversation with you, let alone touching you without being held at gun point to do so.

You looked up at him, your cheeks flushing as you felt the warmth of his fingers tracing your arm softly. "I’ve been feeling the same way, Spencer. I just didn’t know if you… if you felt the same." You admitted, exhaling shakily.

He nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. "I do. I really do. But I didn’t want to rush things or make you uncomfortable," He explained, his fingers tracing slow, lazy shapes on your upper arm, hesitantly like he expected you to pull away. "And I was, uh, a little bit.. Afraid, honestly. Scared of rejection."

You smiled back, feeling a rush of warmth on your face despite the chill of the rain. "I appreciate that. And I’m glad you told me. I’ve been wanting to… to get closer to you too. I just didn’t know how to start." You reply, struggling not to lean into his body, to receive more of his touch. "And if it's any consolation, I've been terrified to make any indication of.. this." You snort.

He chuckles, his touch spreading further across your arm. His full palm now rubbed up and down your bicep, spreading its warmth. The touch was innocent and soft.

Spencer’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a gentle silence between you. Then, in a classic Spencer move, he spoke up again, his tone almost matter-of-fact. "Did you know that according to studies, sharing physical closeness with someone you care about can actually lower stress levels? The brain releases oxytocin, which reduces anxiety and creates a feeling of safety and comfort."

You blinked, caught off guard by his unexpected fact, and then chuckled softly. You knew better than to be shocked. This was Spencer. "That’s… actually really comforting."

Spencer’s smile widened sheepishly, still looking a bit shy. "I thought it might be relevant. So, um, if you’re okay with it, I’d really like to be closer to you, both physically and emotionally." He admits, a soft look in his pretty brown eyes.

Your feet moved before you could really register what you were doing. The rain created a soothing rhythm around you, seeing to match the stuttering beat of your heart inside your chest. The air was thick but cool, almost difficult to inhale. Bringing yourself even closer to him than you were seconds ago, you slid your hand over his, the warmth just as heavenly as it was when you'd first been running to the gazebo.

You felt Spencer's hand squeeze yours, a silent reassurance, though hesitant. Looking up at him, you met his eyes. God, you loved his eyes. They were so pretty. Soft, warm, comforting. Now, they were so much more telling than usual, as if he'd let you in. They showed fondness.

You stilled immediately, feeling him lean towards you. Your brain struggled against your heart; it told you to stay still, but your heart told you to lean forward to meet him.

Before you could make your choice, he was too close. Your face burned as he captured your lips in a soft, shy kiss. It was delicate, as if it was his first time ever kissing someone. You paused for a moment, realizing slowly what was happening, but then leaned into him; your dreams were coming true.

You pressed yourself closer to him, inhaling. He smelled like clean laundry and something light and fresh, a subtle aftershave or just one spritz of cologne. His lips tasted like coffee. He parted them slightly, deepening the kiss; the move was hesitant, but heavier than the softness from before. His hand slid from yours to your waist, gently pulling you tighter into him, as if giving you the choice to step away if you wanted to. Nothing about kissing Spencer was forceful; he was gentle, hesitant, as if every move he made was a silent question. It was a sweet, hesitant gesture, as if he were afraid to impose but hopeful that you’d respond positively.

When you finally pulled away from each other, you were slightly breathless, faces flushed with shyness and glowing with excitement.

Spencer looked at you with a hopeful expression. "Was that okay?" he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

You felt like you were going to explode. You were so happy, probably happier than you'd ever been in your life. Nodding, you smiled widely at Spencer, a breathless giggle falling from your lips.

"Yes. Absolutely."

Spencer’s smile widened, though he still looked a bit shy. "I’m really glad. I'm.. I'm not exactly the best with things like that," he explained, his hand still resting gently on your waist, warmth traveling through your cold, soaked clothes to your skin. "But I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know that I.. I feel that way."

You soften, reaching up to push his soaked curls from his face. He leaned into the gesture.

"I feel that way too."

"We feel that way together. We're.. We're together."

[dead3ve]

Charlie Dalton x fem!shy!reader

Summary: Charlie Dalton has never been good at math. When Welton allows the new female students to join the boys in study hall, Charlie is suddenly entranced by the possibilities of numbers. He isn't really, it's more the girl silently teaching him.

Warnings: frick you cameron. No use of y/n. They/them pronouns. Reader referred to as girl.

Cameron was not correct. Even Charlie could see that. Both him and Neil were sat together, trying to prepare for the upcoming test with Cameron, who was being unsurprisingly useless.

The room was unusually quiet, considering it was study hall, when the boys would let loose before lights out. Maybe the boys were on their best behavior due to the presence of females. It was exciting. They were all new and different and pretty.

There were two girls sat at the same table as Neil, Charlie and Cameron, just further down at the other end of the table. Charlie could tell they were friends due to how closely they were sat together. One of them was whispering to the other behind their hand. The two suddenly began to laugh. It was a belly laugh. The kind of laugh that makes you hurt in the stomach afterwards. Charlie caught the whispering one's smile. Bright and wide and capturing. He couldn't look away. His ears were wishing silence from Cameron and Neil. Charlie wanted to only hear the ring of their laugh from now on.

"What's so funny?" Cameron asked accusingly. A crease had formed in between his eyebrows. The sound of laughter was disrupted.

The girls suddenly went quiet. The one with the enchanting smile looked down at their books again. Smile becoming a downturned lip and a furrowed brow. It made Charlie stop smiling with them, since joy had left their face, it left his too. The other girl next to them abruptly picked up her books and stood from the table.

"We were going to ask for help, but I don't think we don't need it." She began to walk away after her sudden outburst. She turned on her heel to look back at Neil and I, then said "I wouldn't listen to Cameron. They're much smarter anyway." She had pointed a thumb at the girl sat in front of her books, and then she marched away.

Charlie was the first to move, wanting to get to know the girl. Neil shuffled closer after Charlie, not wanting to be left behind with the wrath of Richard Cameron, who was left with a slightly dropped jaw in reaction to the sentence pointed at him.

Charlie lowered his neck, trying to lock eyes with the girl, but they didn't want to meet his. Too fearful of his charming gaze. He watched as they picked up his exercise book and then make markings in pencil wordlessly on his page over his incorrect workings. They then took Neil's book after that and did the same thing. Both Charlie and Neil watched as they worked in silence. Neil was looking at where he went wrong on the page. Charlie was looking at the girl.

He ran his eyes over the slope of their nose and pucker of their lips. The way their jumper held their shoulders and the way their hand held the graphite pencil as it ran across the gridded page.

Neil took his book back and got up, thanking the girl before he left. Probably to find Cameron and to make him see reason. Charlie stayed put though. He watched them attempt to continue their work. He noticed they weren't working writing anything on their page. They were doing the same questions that he and Neil were and they managed to do those on less than 15 minutes. What had made them slow down?

"Can I help with anything else?" They asked quietly. So quietly Charlie almost missed it.

They had turned to face him when they asked the question. It was the first time they looked at Charlie and they knew they shouldn't have. They already knew of Charlie, the boy who spoke loudly from the back of the classroom with a witty remark. The same boy who asked for girls at Welton via God in that assembly. But they had not realized the boy was so handsome. With a sharp jaw and mellow brown eyes. They let their eyes trace the length of his shoulders and the spread of his white t-shirt across his chest. This was bad. They had it bad and Charlie could tell.

Charlie played on their interest.

"You should come to study hall more often. I'd rather see you than Cameron." Charlie spoke with charisma but quietly. He wanted to charm them without scaring them off.

This made them blush and face their book again. But their sunny smile returned. Their heart was thumping in their chest. They could feel the swarm of butterflies tickling their insides.

"Numbers aren't your thing, are they Charlie?" They asked. They then picked their pencil back up and continued to write down questions and answers, knowing that their feelings weren't completely one-sided.

Charlie leaned his elbow on the table, allowing him to cup his jaw in his hand. He rested his head in his hand and let their eyes wander their figure and their hands as they write.

"Is it that obvious?" Charlie mumbled, smiling wide whilst gazing at them. This was bad. Charlie has gotten it bad, and they knew it too.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Spider-Woman, NOT Ghost-Spider

This is a tip for people who want to go as canon as possible WITH THE MOVIES, since I feel a lot of people do this mistake because they look into the comics and mix things up.

If you want to call Gwen, Ghost-Spider in your fanfic/fanart/etc because you think is cool, go ahead! Go nuts! I'm not the canon police.

BUT-

In the movies, Gwen still calls herself Spider-Woman.

An explanation as to why this is important in the read more.

(Spoilers about the Spider-Gwen comics, I guess because I am not spoiling anything that came after 2019.)

When I say "important," I mean it in the stick-it-to-the-details type of deal; if you care about technicalities you care about this, but I know that's not the majority.

However, I do want to bring it up because the reason why Gwen switched in the comics, or rather, why chose Ghost-Spider of all things- is really neat and interesting story line that I feel a lot of people skip over when they 'chose' to call her that without knowing why she chose that name.

If you think Gwen has it rough in the movies, don't read the comics because they put this girl through the wringer.

Let's go a little bit before she chose that name.

As you can see, Gwen feels that she has always been marked by death, some way or another.

First her mother, then Peter, and is now hitting pretty hard after losing Spider-UK (is not Hobie, or Malala, I don't think he has appeared in the movies,) Noir and Karn, though arguably Billy was the one who hit her the hardest.

She went to other dimensions to tell their love ones that Billy and Noir passed away; it is implied how this is her way to try to make amends to what happened, make peace with herself.

But is not really enough, the topic doesn't leave her mind,

Death and pain certainly follow her often; she almost lost her dad for good, and she was definitely shaken after Harry got gravely injured precisely because he was always there for her.

That last panel never stops hitting hard for me.

There is just some quietness to it, about how no matter what she does, how hard she tried, Death continues to follow, one way or another. Even when she tries to be a hero, to do the right thing, death follows her.

In the comics, Gwen switches her name because she is studying in Earth-616 rather than her own dimension, so she switches names in order to avoid stepping in any toes.

So, in the movies, is kind of hard to think the switch would happen. Sure, Gwen is interacting with Jessica and other spiders, but believe me, the multiple spider-man haven't changed their names, so having Jessica in the spider society doesn't change much.

However, I do bring all of this because I think implementing this story line in the movies not only is feasible, it would be *amazing.*

The phrase "Death loves Gwen Stacy," not only hits hard for the Spider-Gwen in the comics, but for the movie counterpart too.

Think about it for a second; in the movies, Gwen feels she can't have friends because otherwise, they may lose them like Peter, she has convinced herself it can't work. And then. she goes to the Spider-Society.

And now she feels Gwen Stacy and Death always go hand in hand.

She learns how in so many universes, Peter is the one bitten, he is the one who lives, while Gwen Stacy dies, over, and over again. It almost seems like she is the outlier out of spite, how because she gets to live, everyone else pays the price.

Because Death loves Gwen Stacy, powers or not, that's not changing.

But at the end of the day-

And that's why, no matter what, she will continue fighting to protect her people.

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Forgiveness is requested but not expected. Downhill we go!!

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 3:

Over time, you grew less and less worried with Leon’s nice behavior. Your math grade has gone up significantly, surpassing a low C which is a passing grade, but since the tutor sessions have become much more bearable, you haven’t felt the need to stop going. Besides, you have an A streak to fulfill.

Your friends stayed suspicious about the frat boy’s intentions, however. The way you’d become so unbothered with everything relating to him had them stressed, yet at the end of the day, “no asshole can hold up a facade like that for this long”, as per Sky’s words.

Easygoing is the best way to describe Leon at this point. A gentle soul, from what you can tell. He goes out of his way to hold the door for you, share his food with you whenever he brings it, and he even gets excited with you whenever you get an A on any of your assignments or tests. It makes you happy that you held out for him.

“And that makes sense to you?” Leon was standing next to you, leaned over with both his hands on the table. You were both in the study room, only this time you had finished everything math related. Thanksgiving break had come and gone so everything had shifted towards the finals before Winter break, meaning now you were using the space to go over the study guide for the final given by one of your other professors, though it would’ve been nice to have your math study guide to burn into your brain since it’s your biggest struggle.

“Yeah, this is easy for me,” you mutter, hand against your mouth as your eyes move back and forth across the packet of information in front of you. Having Leon leaning over you had been commonplace since mid-November. He turned out to be very nosey. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your own classes?”

You didn’t need to look at him to know he was extremely confused by your study guide. “Uhh.. nah,” he stood upright and slowly made his way around the table, sitting down in front of you with a small groan as he relaxed into the seat. “I’ve made it through the past couple years here without ‘em. No need for ‘em now.” You nodded to the side at his, bringing the pen you were holding up to your mouth to nibble on the end of it. “Makes sense…”

It took awhile before you noticed his nervous fidgeting, looking up from your study guide to give him a worried look. “Are you bored? I can finish up in my dorm if you-”

“Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?” He cut you off, his eyes meeting yours before the room fell silent. The question was so sudden and you weren’t expecting anything like it, so it just had you confused. You must’ve looked it, too, since he moved his eyes away from yours while crossing his arms. “I mean-.. Y’know, figured I’d ask..”

Seeing him get nervous was always pretty cute to you, such a handsome guy getting worked up over you never failed to flatter you. “Oh, yeah! I’d like that, actually..” You giggled when Leon looked back at you, soon grabbing your few supplies to put back into your backpack. 

Relief spread across his face, moving to stand as you collected your items. “Good, okay, uh.. How’s Olive Garden sound?” To the average college student, Olive Garden was some high class fine dining. Anyone would be a fool to say no to an offer like that.

Just like your friend told you not to do, the absolute biggest no-no when it came to these types of college guys, you let Leon get even closer. It was just dinner in the beginning, but you started seeing him outside of study sessions afterwards with him going out of his way to seek you out and hang out with you and you the same. “Just going out to dinner” turned into dates real fast, faster than you even had time to process. 

You’ve almost completely forgotten about just how nasty he was towards you not three months prior with how he doted on you. Leading up to finals week, Leon made sure to bring you food after noticing your long study habits. He wouldn’t even give you a choice, just a simple “whaddya feeling tonight?” over text. He’d hang out in your dorm with you while you ate, much to your roommates dismay, and sometimes he’d just show up for no reason other than to see you. You’d blush and shy away from his flirting, he’d tease you, and you’d get mad at him for distracting you in a playful way. Even if you wanted to be actually mad at him, you couldn’t, not with that cheeky little grin he’d give you.

You never questioned his nosiness as he familiarized himself with your dorm, rummaging through your drawers as you whined at him from the bed to stay out of your stuff. Honestly, you’d probably look through his stuff too if you had the chance.

Having a boyfriend during your first year of college wasn’t exactly a goal, and you don’t know if this is even a relationship or not, but you weren’t complaining. It was so nice having someone care about you like this, especially when it’s someone who’s, to you, way out of your league in almost every sense. Though he wasn’t the most outgoing, he was very well known, and being seen with him meant the attention he received was spilling onto you. Hell, you didn’t even know he played football until he passed by you with his friends, all in their football get-ups. He never bragged about any practices or games to you, maybe you should’ve asked about the various bruises and scuffs he’d show up to the study sessions with. Oh well.

Every night during finals week, Leon would take you out for dinner under the guise of “destressing from the long day”, not that you minded, of course. You were growing increasingly anxious about your last final, the big one; math. The two of you were sitting in his black Jeep Wrangler as it idled out in the parking lot of McDonald’s, snacking on what was left of your meal in a comfortable silence. The combination of the heater blowing on you and the food in your stomach was settling you, if only a little.

Leon kept his eyes on you the entire time, hand rubbing soothingly up and down your thigh. His hand was so warm. “You’ll pass, I know you will.” His soft touch barely had you cracking a smile, looking through the windshield as large snowflakes quietly fell, lit up by the streetlights surrounding the parking lot and by the headlights on his car. The snow had accumulated an inch on the ground already, the sun having set nearly two hours prior. Winter and its short days, a blessing and a curse. “I don’t know..” You could feel his eyes on you, yet yours were stuck staring out at the falling snow. “My nerves always get me. I’m gonna make the stupidest mistakes and then once the final grades are in my parents’ll wanna see and then I’ll be surrounded be disappointment and shame and guilt.”

You closed your eyes and slumped your shoulders when you felt Leon squeeze your thigh, finally able to turn and look back at him. “You know that’s not how it’s gonna go.” He let out a breathy laugh when you raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, you’ve got it down! Plus, you had an amazing tutor~..”

With a dramatic groan, you rolled your eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, unable to hide your smile. “I guess, but you weren’t that amazing..”

Leon moved his free hand and brought it up to his chest, holding it there with a strong pout to feign hurt. “You wound me.. Was I nothing to you?” His smile quickly returned when you clicked your tongue at him, chuckling through his nose. “Seriously though, I’ve never met anyone as smart as you are. You learned how to do that kind of stuff incredibly fast, so I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that you won’t demolish that final.” His compliments always left you blushing and at a loss for words, playfulness giving way to a more heavy air. “Thank you, Leon. Really, thank you...” 

You were too wrapped up in watching the snow fall through the windshield to notice when his hand pulled away from your thigh, or just how guilty he looked as he silently watched you.

The math final was easier than you were expecting. You understood basically everything that had been put on it minus a couple things that you scolded yourself for not brushing up on last minute. Grades weren’t put in until a week or more after the finals were turned in, yet you were confident enough in how it went to feel good leaving that room afterwards. 

This first semester had really tested your limits, but you were lucky to have your friends, lucky to have Leon. It didn’t feel strange having him around anymore, it felt natural, real. There weren’t enough ways to thank him for all that he did between tutoring you and taking care of you overall. 

You yelped with laughter as Sky picked you up, their arms around your midriff, waving you side to side as they yelled how proud they were of you. Ella only stood by and laughed along, making sure to take a picture of the moment as keepsakes. “Guys, I don’t even know if I passed yet!” You pushed away from Sky and they placed you back down on the ground, smoothing out your shirt which had you swatting their hands away.

“But! You survived and that’s always cause for celebration.” Ella pocketed her phone and took a couple steps forward so you were all standing in a small circle now. “You really pulled through these last few months.”

Thanks to Leon. “I did, huh?” You looked down with a bashful smile, shrugging before pulling the strap on your backpack further up so it wouldn’t slip off your shoulder. “You know,” Sky started, resting their elbow on your other shoulder while pursing their lips as they slowly turned their head to look at you, “you’re not very good at hiding your love for Leon..” 

You weren’t trying to hide it, it's just that even the vaguest thought about the man had you flustered and stumbling over your words like a fool. All you could do now was glare at your friend, who just raised their hands up in defense. “Hey now, not poking fun, just making an observation.”

Ella placed her entire hand over Sky’s face and pushed them away from you, ignoring their muffled complaints as she looked at you. “We’ll always be suspicious because we’re your friends and we care about you, but as long as you’re careful, we’ll keep our distance.”

Sky pulled Ella’s hand off their face, making gross-out noises while wiping their face off. “Blegh, anyways, yeah. Keeping our distance, but still watching from afar.” They pointed their index and middle finger from their eyes to yours before smiling.

You hung around in their dorm as Ella finished packing up her suitcase. She’s had her plane ticket back home booked for a month, constantly expressing her need to leave as soon as finals were finished during that time. Sky was leaving the same day you were, which was in two days since you both drove or were driven here. Leon stayed at his frat house all school year, so you were thankful to have two people sticking around so you weren’t left all alone.

Unfortunately, this meant you had your own packing to do. Thankfully though, your roommate had already left, sparing you from their menial chit-chat. Packing was almost cathartic in a weird way, almost as if you saw going home as a reward for working yourself to the bone at this university. Quiet music was playing from your phone as you gathered the essentials, you’d be coming back in three weeks so there wasn’t any need to pack up everything.

A gentle knock knock knock at your dorm’s door startled you from your thoughts, causing you to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t just coming from the song that was playing. Slowly, you made your way over to the door, and before you’d even opened it fully, Leon slipped his way through, side stepping into the room with a cheeky smile. 

You scoffed as you watched him weasel his way in, hand stuttering away from the door handle to allow the heavy door to shut. “You could’ve waited until I opened the door all the way.” 

“I knocked, though.” Mischief was evident in his tone as his eyes landed on the suitcase sitting on your bed. “Getting ready to leave?”

“Not for another couple days. Just.. wanna be ready.” You walked past him over to your suitcase, continuing to fold the last few pieces of clothing you wanted to bring back home. “Perfect, got some extra time to spend with you then.” Leon chuckled, now standing next to you to watch you get back into rhythm.

Having him admit that so casually had you nervous, cheeks heating up as you glanced over at him. “Wouldn’t you rather hang out with your friends?” The eyebrow raise he gave you made you stumble as you tried to elaborate. “N-not that I don’t want to hang out with you! I just feel like you’d have more fun celebrating the end of the semester outside of a stuffy dorm.” You tried to laugh away the embarrassment, moving your focus back to the suitcase as you zipped it up.

“I can celebrate with those slobs any time, but for right now, I would really like to be around you.” Leon carefully lifted your suitcase off the bed, placing it near the door for you. “You’re nice and quiet. They’re not.” You sighed after lifting yourself up onto your bed, sitting criss-cross right in the middle while meekly smiling to yourself, watching him walk back over to stand in front of you.

“By the way,” he said, turning his head to look out your window for a split second before looking back down at you, “I haven’t had the chance to tell you how proud I am of you for coming out of that math final. I know results take awhile, but you seem pretty pleased with yourself.” He crossed his arms and bent forward a bit with a teasing smirk as he not-so-subtly looked you up and down.

You covered your face with your hands and laughed into them, a poor attempt to hide your ever increasing blush. After letting your hands fall away, you bunched the end of your hoodie up in them, fiddling with the thick fabric as you replied. “Yeah, uh.. I think I did alright.” You were going to say more, but you stopped when Leon’s hand found its way under your chin, tilting your head back so you were looking at him. “C’mon, don’t downplay this, baby. You did amazing and you know it.”

Your mind went blank at the pet name and you were finding it hard to breathe with the way his hand felt under your chin. The air in your dorm was a tad tense before, yet now it just felt heavy. Stifling. All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as you tried to think of something, anything to say.

“Did I catch you off guard?” He said with a breathy laugh, gently tilting your head side to side as he studied you. And you let him. Your mouth felt dry, face hot as he leaned in closer. “You’re so beautiful..” His voice dropped an octave and his eyes were lidded as they stared into yours. “So smart, so brave..” Soon his lips were brushing against yours, whispering out a final “So perfect..” before pulling you into a gentle kiss.

It didn’t take long for you to relax into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as you tried to mimic Leon’s movements. His hands cautiously slid down to grasp at your waist while yours moved up to cup his face, pulling him closer. He slowly crawled onto the bed with you tugging him along, leaving you laying down as he hovered over the top of you, knees planted on either side of your legs while one of his arms moved up to support himself. 

He was doing his best to be careful with you, noting your nervous tremble as his right hand slid under your hoodie. “M’gonna take care of you, ‘kay?” He hummed against your sensitive skin, kissing along the underside of your jawline. You only nodded as his lips trailed down your neck, stopping when your hoodie got in his way of the rest of you. “Need you to say ‘okay’ f’me, baby.”

Nearly whining when he stopped, you nodded again a bit more vigorously this time, voice barely a whisper. “O-..Okay..” You propped yourself up slightly when Leon pulled his head away from your neck, his eyes meeting yours as both his hands were now playing with the end of your hoodie. “Y-Yeah, okay…” You repeated.

First it was your hoodie, then it was his jacket, and before you knew it, he had you in his arms, chest pressed against yours as he reached around to unclasp the hooks on your bra. You immediately brought your arms up to cover your breasts once Leon leaned back after pulling your bra off, self-consciousness suddenly settling in. “Hey hey, no need to hide from me..” He cooed, eyes raking down your body as he grabbed your hands to pull your arms away, thumbs rubbing circles onto the tops of your hands as he stared with a crooked smile. 

You took the opportunity to take in his form; muscular, a couple old scars and freckles standing out to you. He was gorgeous, through and through, no doubt about it. He took notice, craning his neck to look down at his exposed chest before looking back up at you. “Looks good, huh?” That got a small giggle out of you, at least.

He slowly guided you back down onto the bed, his hands firmly rubbing up and down your sides. “You look even better, though. Layin’ pretty beneath me~..” His right hand found its way to your panties, running his fingers along the band before trailing further down to press his middle finger against the gusset. You gasped at the feeling while he laughed quietly, leaning back a bit further to catch a glimpse of the wet spot he was feeling. “You’re soaked.. Lil’ bit of touching got you all worked up?”

Your hands flew up to hide your face again as he rubbed his finger up and down your clothed pussy, letting out small gasps and whimpers all the while. You shakily nodded, subconsciously spreading your legs further apart as he slotted himself between them. 

“Tell me something, babe.” Leon paused his movements to look up at you, huffing a chuckle through his nose when he noticed you’d covered your face. “You seem real nervous, so I’m jus’ wonderin’...” Dread settled in your stomach at his implication, you were hoping he wouldn’t ask this. “Yes..” You whispered, parting your fingers over your right eye so you could look at him. “Don’t make me say it, please…”

He hummed low in his chest, eyes darkening as they moved back down to your panties. “Juuust wonderin', is all..” His finger started to caress you over your panties again while adding a bit more pressure. “There’s no shame in being a virgin. Only means I gotta make this extra special for you~.” You moved your hands to shoot him a weak glare and he smiled in return. “Didn’t say I couldn’t say it.”

Once he felt your tremble start to dissipate, he brought his hands up and hooked his fingers on the band of your panties before slowly tugging them off, letting out a low groan as a string of slick stayed connected to the gusset from your leaking pussy. “Fuck, that’s hot..” He breathed in sharply through his teeth, taking your panties into one hand before grabbing his hoodie, stuffing them into the large pocket in the front.

Leon didn’t waste any time putting himself back between your legs, languidly dragging his middle finger up and down through your folds. He relished in your every noise, even as you tried to hold them in. “You ever finger yourself before?” He asked, voice gravelly as he repeatedly pulled his finger back to watch your slick cling to it by a string. 

“... no..” Your innocence had him groaning to himself again. He could ignore the guilt eating away at him long enough to handle you the way you needed to be handled. “Let’s give it a try then, yeah?” He hunched over some more so his face was hovering above yours, middle finger now gently circling your clenching hole.

“P-Please be careful..” You whimpered, slightly panicked at the feeling of his finger nudging your entrance, one of your hands grasping the bed sheets while the other held onto his bicep that was closest to you.  “I’ll be so careful, baby.. I promise I’ll be careful.”

And he was. What would’ve normally been a relatively quick process turned into ten minutes of Leon tenderly stretching you on his fingers. He studied your face the entire time, whispering sweet words into your ear, even letting out deep moans to encourage your own timid ones. You needed the time. There's no rush.

He moved down to pair his fingers with his mouth, tongue running through your wet folds as his fingers stroked your walls. The noises you let out when he sucked on your clit were intoxicating. You were intoxicating.

Once Leon pulled his mouth and fingers away from you, you knew what was coming. And when he paused for a moment after standing up, hands hooked in his boxers, eyebrows tightly furrowed together in thought, that only served to make you more nervous.

“..Leon?” You managed to say, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched his shake himself out of his head. “Yeah, sorry, just… thinking about the best way to go about this. Don’t wanna scare you.”

“You-... I’m not gonna be scared..” You looked from his face down to his boxers, eyeballing where his fingers were still hooked in them. He just clicked his tongue, nodding his head to the side with a soft “if you say so”. 

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were scared. There wasn’t much frame of reference, but Leon was… sizeable, for lack of a better term. And it wasn’t just his size that was intimidating to you, it was the idea of sex itself. Sex has always been made out to be this big grandiose milestone by everyone around you, so now that you’re about to actually do it is giving you the same sinking feeling that public speaking does. 

“You’re scared.” Leon had pulled his boxers all the way down without you noticing, letting them lay abandoned on the floor as he took the small step back towards you. “No.” You were quick to object, eyes still glued to his dick. He chuckled and tilted your head back by your chin once more. “Yes, you are, and it’s okay. I’m not gonna kill you with it.”

“You might…” You muttered under your breath, eyes lowly making their way back down to his dick as he got back up onto the bed and in between your legs. “I promised you I’d be careful, right?” Leon grunted, his hand squeezing the base of his cock before giving it a few slow strokes. 

You swallowed dryly, pulling your eyes away and back up to meet his. “Yeah…” He nodded, giving you a wobbly smile as he teased his thumb across his tip. “Right. So don’t worry, I’ve gotcha..”

You only nodded, doing your best to keep your eyes up and focused on his face as he lubed himself with your juices. Your eyes widened once you felt him line himself up with your hole, body jerking a bit at the slight pressure.

“You gotta relax, sweetheart..” He used his freehand to stroke your thigh before pulling your right up over his shoulder, hand moving back down so his thumb could rub your clit. “Just breathe and focus on what my hand’s doin’, alright?”

The two of you were lucky that a lot the people in your dorm building left already, cause when his tip finally pushed past that ring of muscle, you let out an embarrassingly loud yelp. It hurt, but it was also such a new feeling that it simply startled you. “Okay, okay, that’s the hardest part. You did it.” You panted, hands tugging at the blankets beneath you as he stilled. “Okay…” You copied him, nodding your head once you felt you were ready for him to move.

The sting of the stretch was the hardest to get by, however it was easily masked by just how full you felt after Leon was fully sheathed inside you. So new, yet so good. 

You let out a shaky sigh, eyes closing as you rested back against the bed. Your heart was beating and your body felt hot. It was actually a nice feeling. “You- ugh.. You can move.. a little..” You breathed out, grunting softly when you felt him twitch.

“Mhm..” Leon agreed with only a hum, not trusting his mouth enough to speak. He pulled back an inch before thrusting just as slowly,  eyes darting around your face for any sign of discomfort. A minute or so of taking it slow led to deeper thrusts, following your command as you asked for “harder”, “deeper”, “faster”. All with that sweet voice that he couldn’t say no to.

You were eating away at him and you didn’t even know it; wrapped around him so perfectly, that delicious honey of yours dripping down his balls, moaning his name, looking at him with those glassy eyes, fuck. He fits you so well.

He kept his eyes closed, unable to look at you any longer. Ignoring the guilt was harder than he thought, even with him thrusting into you like he owned you. You weren’t his, he can't have you the way you want him to-

“Shit-!” He gasped, too lost in his own thoughts to notice you’d grown close until you abruptly clenched around him, sloppy cunt milking his cock. His thrusts stuttered to a stop as he buried himself deep into you, cumming with a whine of his own. Looking at the wall with bleary eyes, he furrowed his brow again, chewing on the inside of his cheek while he caught his breath.

Clarity crashed into him when you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a weak hug. He needed to go, but how could he leave you like this? God, he was so fucked.

He should’ve just stayed an asshole, that would’ve kept you far away. And he should’ve never taken that stupid bet. All this for a pair of panties to wave around like a trophy.

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik

(few of your blogs won't work, but i really tried 😩)

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Joshua Graham (Fallout: New Vegas, Honest Hearts DLC) NSFW Headcanons

Massive voyeur. He's attracted to you the moment he meets you, but his religious beliefs/the probable age gap/the circumstances/his own fucked up self-image keep him from saying anything. It doesn't keep him from watching you closely, though, from studying your habits and your daily schedule. Especially interested in what times you usually leave camp. He already disappears sometimes without anyone really knowing where he's gone; despite his positive working relationship with the Dead Horses, Joshua's energy is off-putting overall, and he's intimidating. It makes people nervous if they have to interact with him one-on-one for too long. Due to this, he has the freedom of sort of coming and going as he pleases, since no one wants to be the person to question him, though more often than not he can be found working away at weapons in the Angel Cave. That said, he is prone to sneaking away for an hour or so in the evenings (to stretch his legs and occasionally sneak a cigarette), slipping out unnoticed amid the hustle of the busy camp; his schedule for this changes once you come around, but, he'd swear it has nothing to do with you if confronted. He just so happens to want to take a little stroll right around the time you go to find somewhere private to bathe. The commitment to promptness only increases when he realizes that you sometimes use this little bit of "alone time" to masturbate.

He won't even touch himself 95% of the time; seems the type to get off on denying himself. Trust me, he desperately wants to, though. On a day where he gets especially worked up watching you, he might stroke himself over his clothing, or even cum untouched, but he won't take the risk of exposing himself fully. This usually happens on days where he gets to watch you touch yourself, caught up in studying every detail of how to bring you pleasure while openly lusting over your body. However, most of the time he'll simply sit in silence, hidden away out of your line of vision as he takes in every ounce of your beauty.

If he notices you starting to get close with someone, it'll be enough to prompt him to reveal his own feelings. The man is deeply jealous in an ugly way, and the idea that someone else would have you just because he failed to ever say anything is repellent to him. Doubly so if that person is Daniel. Once he's confessed his interest, he'll be quite possessive, even if you're still weighing your feelings for him against your feelings for someone else. Knowing this will drive him crazy, and he'll be quickly desperate to "mark his territory" in some way.

In terms of your intimate life, he doesn't have much energy for sex despite his sex drive and attraction to you being quite high. As long as his wounds go unhealed, he's in a lot of pain, and pain is exhausting. He may want to bend you over every flat surface in Zion pretty much every second of the day, but he simply does not have the energy.

He's sinned a lot in the past, so he's not exactly sexually inexperienced (his faith has clearly always been important to him, but I think the level of fervor we see in him in current day is a result of him seeking some feeling of salvation from all the things he's done/a doubling down after his incident), but it has been a long time since he's done anything with anyone. When you two grow close and eventually start dating, he'll fully intend to wait until you get married to have sex. It won't work out that way. At the very most, you two may be able to resist penetrative sex until after you fully commit, but you won't be able to keep your hands off of one another overall. He chastises himself (and, when he's in a darker mood, you) for failing to resist temptation, but ultimately he thinks that God likely has more of an issue with other things he's done than not waiting until marriage to let you blow him or whatever.

Absolutely knows what "soaking" is. Shocked and quite taken aback if you also know what "soaking" is.

That Legion history of his starts to poke through once you start spending a lot of alone time with him, once he feels comfortable showing his true face. He isn't abusive, but he is still quite controlling in some aspects. It's not that he denies you of options, but he does have a tendency to make it difficult for you to make choices he doesn't agree with. More often than not, he exercises control when he worries for your wellbeing, but there are times when he exercises control over you simply because he wants to see you bend to his will. Sex is one of the aspects of your relationship he often uses to this end. He'll make you cum until you can't see, but make no mistake; he's making you cum because he wants to, because it feeds his ego to see how you react when he breaks you down completely and commands your body. He also knows that it'll be easier to keep you around if he tries his best to make you happy, to ensure your needs are fulfilled, including the intimate ones. Yes, he will take very good care of you in bed, but know that ultimately it's sort of a form of control. I mean...you're still allowed to enjoy it. But keep that in mind.

Does it even need to be said that the Mormon former Legionary has a massive breeding kink? I don't think he believes he deserves to have children, but that doesn't stop him from fantasizing about seeing you so swollen with his child that you can't effectively get away from him. Definitely buys into the idea that adults are supposed to procreate as much as they can stand; in his ideal world, he'd have you pregnant every two or so years for a good portion of your life. He'll worship every inch of your body before he fucks you, fantasizing silently about how a pregnancy would change it.

[satoruphilia]

Stronger Than The Strongest? Gojo x Reader

tags: somewhat canon au, reader is a sorcerer, geto doesnt go insane, reader's curse is pretty much yuta's, tooth rotting fluff, not proofread, no smut, fair date, gojo is head over heels, featuring the smiths

A/N: I have 4 hours to fuck around before I need to get to work, wish me luck

2.2k words ON THE DOT!

Being a student sorceror was something you never expected. Finding friends along the way, and even a boyfriend? Unheard of. But here you were, you had a main friend group with Gojo Satoru, the strongest, Geto Suguru, your best friend, and Shoko Ieri, the only sense of the group. She had some medical technique you didnt understand, resulting in her dreams to become a doctor. Geto's and Gojo's were the most powerful. Your cursed technique was a little more complicated than theirs, you didn't even know if it was a cursed technique or luck. Before the Jujutsu world, you were on the streets with one friend, Rika. Until one day, you found her dead. The grief of the incident transformed her into a Curse. She was basically attached to you, she came out when you requested. When she came out, her strength was comparable to Sukuna, king of curses. But you also had trouble controlling her.

You, Geto and Gojo were sent on a mission, which instantly soured your mood. Gojo was so self absorbed and inlove with himself. How the hell did Suguru put up with him? He was a spoiled sheltered boy, you knew how the world rolled, just didn't know how he hadn't been bitch slaped yet (an; im sorry gojo) atleast you had geto with you aswell.

"Y/N! After this, let's go get candy, im hungry!" You rolled your eyes, continuing your walk to an abandoned middle school. There were reports of a Grade 1 curse killing off the kids. While they fucked around, you were focused on analyzing the situation. Would Rika be necessary or could you let them deal with it? You were tired anyway.

You and Geto made the decision to let Gojo handle the curse after you found it. Given his strength, he could handle it. As Gojo muttered something about showing off due to his audience, you took one of Geto's cigerettes and lit it. Throughout a battle, the curse unexpectedly doubled, and then those two doubled. Four curses were now aimed at him. His strategy faltered, raising an eyebrow between the two of you.

Gojo Satoru was struggling, huh. Not something you planned to see in this lifetime. He grunted, falling onto his back after another blow. Did that idiot seriously turn off infinity to show off? "Rika," you said coolly. A dark curse appeared behind you, before going after the duplicates.

Geto laughed and threw his arm over Gojo's shoulder, "You're a dumbass." All he did was roll his eyes.

"I had it under control, y/n just wanted to impress me, right?" This had Geto roaring in laughter. You were walking beside the two, drinking a bottle of water, even more tired than when you came.

"Can't believe you already lost your title," He teased, "The strongest isnt the strongest anymore" Gojo rolled his eyes and laughed it off, but observing him closely, something was different. Fear? Hurt? Did he just get humbled? It was fascinating. They ran off to some candy shop, and that was the end of it.

Maybe.

While you forgot about it, Gojo drove himself crazy. He knew what Geto said was a joke, 80% of what he said was a joke. Now he was obsessing over it. Not even the fact that he struggled, but how nonchalant you were about saving his ass. You still had a cigerette in hand the whole time. The way you effortlessly wielded your cursed techniques, the grace in your movements, and the fire in your eyes ignited something within Gojo. As the minutes ticked by, Gojo found himself unable to focus on anything else. His mind drifted to you. You became more than just a lady to him. He started to stare at you in class, always trying to study with you without Geto, taking note of your beauty. That was another thing that drove him crazy. He knew you were conventually attractive, but now you were so much more.

"That was hilarious," he greeted, a playful glint in his eyes. "You correcting Yaga-sensei. The class was wild!"

You chuckled. "He was making himself look stupid, so yeah."

He chuckled in return, rubbing the back of his head. "You still need help with Math? Im an expert." Where did he learn that from? Geto, who he wouldn't shut up to. Of course, he never shut up, but he was always asking Geto about you. You and Geto were closer friends, considering he was a respectable person unlike Gojo. You two occasionally skated and smoked together, and Gojo was not jealous at all. Even after Geto told him you were like his little sister.

As the conversation continued, Gojo found himself hanging onto your every word, genuinely intrigued by your words. He laughed at your jokes, listened intently to your stories, and even found reasons to touch on shared interests. It wasn't long before he realized that his feelings were evolving beyond a mere admiration for you.

In the following days, Gojo's interactions with you became more intentional. He'd join you for lunch, initiate conversations about non-jujutsu related topics, and even offer his assistance in training. When he found out how much you loved music, he made a playlist for when you two hung out. All your favorites were in there, and he sprinkled in a few love songs by your favorite singers. His once carefree demeanor seemed to soften in your presence, and there were moments when his gaze lingered just a bit longer, his eyes betraying a depth of feeling.

Eyes dont lie, something you've learned throughout your youth. So you hyperfixated on it when talking to people. Thats how you saw through people's bullshit, especially guys who just wanted you for your body. Initially, you assumed Gojo was trying to get in your pants. but now its been 3 months since that mission. 3 months since he's changed his attitude around you. And around a month since you started falling for him aswell.

It wasn't until a quiet evening in the school library that you realized your feelings. He found you reading with your headphones in, smiling as he took a seat next to you. "I love the smiths," You flinched, looking up at him and pulling one headphone to the side.

"Sorry?"

"I said I love the smiths," It took a second, then you smiled, realizing it could be heard from outside. You paused your song, taking them off. "You know, listening to music that loud can make you go deaf."

"Then together we'd make the Helen Keller duo, huh?" He snorted. You laughed aswell. The joke wouldn't be funny anywhere else, but with him, everything seemed to be downright hilarious.

"I'm not blind, my vision is so good I can wear a blindfold and still see perfectly," The conversation dissolved into nonsense. Music, studying, whats new, cats, even the upcoming summer break. Eventually he brought up your curse, interrogating it's ability. "So why does she do everything you say?"

"We have a deal. If I give her energy, she will do as I say. It's like Aki Hayakawa's ability, if you've ever seen-"

"Chainsaw Man!!" He exclaimed, making you smile wider. "I literally love that anime, I binged it at a sleepover with Suguru," Once again, the conversation dissolved into useless stuff. Eventually, it was brought back to Suguru. "Are you secretly crushing on my Sugu?" You snorted.

"He's like my brother."

"Ohh, so you're crushing on me!" You felt a heat on your cheeks, but rolled your eyes.

"That'd be pointless, you have other girls waiting on you." His smile nearly faltered.

"You can't blame them, Im the hottest on campus."

"You know, I don't think I see Sugu as a brother anymore," You said with a smirk. He groaned before gagging.

"Im hotter than him, thats why I have a roster," This time, you gagged.

"thats so cringe. How do you explain him dating Kaelyn then?" He rolled his eyes, changing the subject again. It must be like 1 in the morning now, and he offered to walk you to your dorm. Your comment on him having other girls stuck with him. You were smart, had the highest grades in most of your classes and you were an expert on analyzing. Why couldn't you see his feelings for you? And why was he feeling like a middle school boy, why was it so hard to talk to you? Were you seriously stronger than him?

Gojo, normally the master of composed nonchalance, found himself stumbling over his words. "Y/n," You looked at him. He knew he was obvious, considering Suguru and Shoko always asked him if he had asked you out already. Suguru even told him it was obvious to everyone except for him and you, then calling you two idiots. "You should come to the fair with me tomorrow, I'll pick you up." You smiled brightly, reached the door to your dorm.

"Alright, text me the time. Bye Gojo."

"huh, you still wont call me Satoru," He whined.

"Bye, Satoru"

Shit.

If he wasnt head over heels already he was now.

Four knocks hit your door the next evening. You opened the door for him after fixing your hair for the 32nd time. He looked you up and down, a pink tint growing on his cheeks. "Your outfit is beautiful." Even in its simplicity, beauty can be found. You donned a red tube top, black jacket and bootcut jeans. He wore black jeans and a white tee.

At the fair, you two had tons of fun running around. Geto also came, he brought Kaelyn, who kept calling this a double date. They eventually ran off, leaving you and Gojo alone. You challenged him to one of the games, both wanting the cute cat plushie. He of course won, but decided to give you the plushie. You kept it sticking out of your purse slightly, as if it were Elle Woods and her chihuahua. Your cheeks were sore from smiling and talking so much. It grew dark, meaning it was a busy time for the fair. You didn't think much of it, hell, you weren't even analyzing the crowd so see if anyone had bad intentions. You were so focused on Gojo.

Speaking of being focused on Gojo, he gradually become more and more irritated. You stopped him, having to yell over top the people, asking whats wrong. He tried to play it off, then you realized his head was probably so overwhelmed with how many people were there. You took his hand and walked around, finding a spot behind a hot dog machine. He sat down, groaning and rubbing his temples. "Too many people..." You sat next to him, closer than friends should be. You held his hand, waiting for his migraine to calm down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin this," Your eyebrow raised, surprised to hear him apologize sincerly.

"Dont, you didn't ruin anything." After a minute, he looked at you, the proximity sending red to his cheeks.

"Suguru was right," You eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Youre stronger than me," His gazed set on your eyes, then your lips. "Can I kiss you?" You only smiled, leaning closer.

"Yeah," You weren't sure who closed the distance, neither of you were, but your lips were pressed against his. You pulled away, before leaning back in. You'd been waiting for god knows how long. When you pulled away this time, his hand rested on yours again. "I'm not stronger than you, Satoru."

"Theres a million definitions to strength. I can't describe it, but you are stronger than me. As a person." You understood what he meant. You talked about nothing and yet everything, still sitting behind the truck, the noise of people dying down.

"Its about 9:00pm, people are starting to leave. Do you want to ride the ferris wheel?" He smiled, taking your hand and standing up, helping you up after.

"Of course," when you two left, Geto and Kaelyn saw you holding hands and squealed like little kids. They started on who bet what, making Satoru laugh. You were right earlier, there were a lot less people. 'Nobody Gets Me' was playing faintly in the background.

How am I supposed to tell you?

I dont wanna see you with anyone but me

On the ferris wheel, he had one arm wrapped around your shoulder, his other hand holding yours.

Nobody gets me like you

How am I supposed to let you go

You looked into the stars, mesmerized by their beauty. Satoru stared at you, just like you stared into the stars. He could get lost in you. Satoru wasn't a man who had plans for the future. He knew he would have to be a sorceror, and he'd die being one. He was okay with that on the terms that he wouldn't be bored, and he'd have a really fucking cool death. Now that had changed, all he wanted to do was grow old with you. He was okay dying of sickness or age, as long as you were by his side.

Only like myself when Im with you

Nobody gets me, you do

part 2???