#Niether does Cross

[gh0styai]

That one family who decorates for Christmas before Thanksgiving :

… I am part of one of those families…

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

Can you please do twilight wolf headcannons where their wolves imprint are extremely hotheaded ( hotheaded NOT abusive ) and how the different wolves would deal with that ?

i think i interpreted this as like stubborn-ish.... idk! love my twilight headcanons, i wanna start up again.

sam: at first, it was a bit of a battle of wills. no raised voices. no arguments. just... debates. lively debates. where you both truly believe you know what's best. it always starts in a conversation, and ends in a conversation. he loves you regardless of how stubborn you can be.

jared: he doesnt take much seriously so he tends to tease. out of love. but you'll cross your arms and say something, and he'll do the same thing until you can't stop the little laugh. and the rare occasion where that doesn't work, he'll just pick you up, throw you over his shoulder. and walk you wherever.

quil: he's an angel. with patience for you like you wouldn't believe. he would just listen, and nod, and respond. and he's just impossible to get frustrated with because he listens, and he hears you. so when you're being stubborn and refusing to bend, he'll just sweetly explain himself. and it almost always ends there.

embry: em calls you his firecracker. he bends almost immediately to you. you "wear the pants" and he doesn't care at all. loves it even. you just have a strong will, and he admires that about you.

jake: ugh, idk. he'd probably just run off to canada or smth.

leah: leah is a stonewall. it's hard to tell what she's thinking. she's so used to pushing the boys out of her head and space that she accidentally does that to you sometimes too. which she's been working on. but it's hard for her, getting barked orders at all day by sam and then comes home and you're being stubborn. and you have to just let her win sometimes.

seth: sweet angel baby. sweet sweet man. he is like a daisy. he is that cute little purple part that grows on a thorn... and sometimes you worry that you're the thorn. seth never gets upset or frustrated, he's like embry, if you put your foot down and want it one way or the other, he'll do whatever. doesn't care, just cares about you really.

paul: paul is the one that will start a bit of an argument. like you're being stubborn, and he's being stubborn and one thing leads to another and you guys are yelling. you always argue from the opposite sides of the room, at pauls demand, he refuses for a mistake to slip out - but it wont because niether of you ever devolve to being mean, just passionate. and more often than not it ends with paul ravishing you from head to toe anyway, the passion from the argument being worked out in bed

[tulipanthousa]

tell us about the unwritten au 👀

okay, full disclosure, this will never be written. i have no intention of ever doing so. if someone else is willing to take a crack at it be my guest but this would be too much for me to handle

so, here it is

Content Warnings: angst, RAPE (<- read this. the dove is dead. do not pass go do not collect $200. youve been warned) both directly and via proxy, and other kinds of sexual coercion

LAOFT RELAMP but at what cost

In main story laoft, durant does not see roman and remy's dalliances as important or a threat to him/his control over roman.

in this story. he does

in an agonizing display of cruelty, he kidnaps remy and presents him to night roman as a gift.

its a terrible position - roman cant reject the gift and risk durants anger, which will end in disaster for both him and remy... but niether can he accept it and walk back into his day life with the knowledge that remy will remain here, trapped, alone with durant, and impossibly far away from anything roman can do to protect him

Roman takes the only path he can find - feign gratefulness so deep that he no longer had need of his day left, and giving it up. because at least if theyre both trapped remy's not alone.

Remy and Roman disappear the same night, stolen from their beds without a sound or a trace left behind.

In wickhills, Logan is incandescent with fury and patton cries so miserably the woods and hills around his house are bone-dead silent. not even the birds want to sing in his presence.

May sits alone in her house, the door locked, refusing to answer for anyone.

The Adams' put up posters across all of southeast ohio knowing nobody is going to call

And emile watches them all and churns with guilt because he didnt know remy, not really, so why does he think he has a right to be this sad?

Back in faerieland, things escalate in a bad way very quickly. Durant coerces Roman and Remy into increasingly intense sexual scenarios for his entertainment.

in the midst of this, having only one other person you can rely on or trust can, coupled with the rapid increase in intimacy, cross the wires a bit, and wwhoops, Remy and roman are in love now

Remy: or whatever passes for love in this shitshow Roman: you dont get to tell me i dont really love you Remy, crying: ok

and tbh, all of this is more of just context for what im ACTUALLY interested which is

they get out. now what?

Because in the meantime, Emile has reached out to patton, we still have LAMP and remile, and now we have pair-of-cats-that-cant-be-separated creativisleep

Logan: you thought canon logan had anger issues? ha. ha i say. this logan would kill a man sooner than let them make roman or remy even slightly uncomfortable. he'll snarled at his own mother if she gets too close. he'll snarl at thomas, though he'll feel bad about both. this is actually! not great! because logan tried to guard from the outside looks a lot like Guards Keeping Us Inside to remy and roman, so they have to figure out how to navigate logans nuclear reactor protectiveness vs it wigging roman and remy out.

Virgil: Virgil waking up is the catalyst for them getting free, and in the midst of his horror falls in QP love at first sight with remy, who was so brave and so strong and kept roman safe when virgil couldnt.

Remy: i dont know if 'safe' is even slihtly accurate Virgil: the safety of his heart and mind are of equal importance to me as his body. you have cherished both, and you can have anything you ask for as long as i live Remy: [gay fluster noises]

Patton keeps determinedly dragging emile to mays house (where they are holed up for close access to dizzy and jax) even though Emile feels like he's intruding

Patton, constantly on the verge of tears: I almost lost Roman and i've decided im in love with all of you and i CATEGORICALLY refuse to lose anyone else Emile: um Patton: RE. FUSE.

so pattons HOPE is that they all wind up in a big polycule pile, and its doesnt... not do that, but its not quite as clearcut as all that.

Theres stumbling blocks at the beginning withboth remy and roman wavering on whether or not their romantic feelings are genuine, and subsequently wondering if the fact that theeyre still in love with Emile and LAM respectively means that they arent.

this would go through some oscillations of both of them trying to deny those feelings to "prove" their love for each other, vs trying to push the other away so they can go be with p[eople they "really love"

do! not! separate them!

in my head this ends with romantic LAMP, Romantic Remile, Romantic Patmile, and QPR losleep and sleepxiety - everybody else is friends and cuddle buddies

Remy is actually super comforted by the fact that Patton is in love with him/attracted to him but never asks for more than friendship because he knows remy isnt. Metamour besties.

Dizzy suffers a lot from this ordeal (she hid from durant and subsequently roman, knowing if he found her as romans familiar it would be catastrophic) so their bond is.... stretched, lets say. overtaxed. she's a little sicklier. a little smaller, a little more timid. hides in remy or virgils jackets frequently

All of which is to say that this is a fraught extended metaphor that sometimes trauma changes you, and it changes your relationships, and it changes the way you feel attraction, and all of that is okay. it doesnt make those feelings or relationships less real or loving or valid.

anyway this is my monster. im not going to write it (please dont ask) but some people have expressed that they were glad i still shared it, so have some bite sized angst

[thenewdeadseascrolls]

Judges 17: 5-9. "The House on the Hill."

The Household Gods are boys with penises in men's bodies. We just talked about the Jewish Mother and her silver idol, which is a good thing, but now we are going to discuss the Daddy, which is not a good thing.

Let's face it, the world worships boys and boys wreck things. They wreck everything, every Sunday. The first mention of boys as household gods and how they are to be handled is found in Vayetzei. The Ephod is also mentioned:

10 “In breeding season I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked (dense), speckled (heretical, outspoken) or spotted (blasphemy, openly sinful). 11 The angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob.’ I answered, ‘Here I am.’ 12 And he said, ‘Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. 13 I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.’”

14 Then Rachel and Leah replied, “Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father’s estate? 15 Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. 16 Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.”

17 Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, [who carry the essence of a culture]18 and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram [the ultimate substitute],[s] to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan.

19 When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father’s household gods. 20 Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. 21 So he fled with all he had, crossed the Euphrates [the good, the noblest, the highest] River, and headed for the hill country of Gilead [the testimony stones or the skills/characters of the 12 sons of Jacob.]

Fathers view their pubescent sons are foreigners. Mothers tend to worship the ground they walk on. Either way the presence of a teenaged boy or young man in the house is very disruptive to a Jewish household because males are supposed to shoulder the burden of the entire Jewish history and culture. This has changed a great deal in recent times, so the gender of the Household God does not really matter. "I

A Household Shrine is very different from the Silver Idol we just discussed in the prior frame. A Household God will not necessarily amount to anything important outside his house. The Crown Prince of Israel, the Silver Idol, he is the most important person in the Jewish world. The King of Israel is not so important, his day is done, but the Crown Prince's day is ahead, and he matters the most. Without one, we will never have the other.

So the focus and the root driver of all Jewish religious literature is how we should go about establishing the line of Eretz Israel with right kinds of idols within it and hold a steady Court.

The Shoftim explains this at the personal rather than national level. Micah, the "brotherhood of the juice" has no king, so he turns to his lineage figuring the future belongs to the fruits of his actions as he was taught by his father.

Except as we know from the Parsha above, while our father's might be learned, they don't dream our dreams along with us. For that we are on our own. The greatest dream of them all is to be a Prince of Eretz Israel; now this dream we all understand. So the household god cannot be allowed any other vision, he cannot be reared in any other manner except as a god of silver.

Eretz Israel as we know from the Melachim cannot be run by a bunch of baby daddies. Niether can it function on the backs of a pack of crazy ass Yeshiva boys. It is the job of the Line of Succession, the camels mentioned above to carry the household gods into town and spank their asses until they are fit to run with the Line.

First among equals then is the way, and this is explained as a Levite from Bethlehem in Judah, a freed man of exemplary learning who gives God his due:

5 Now this man Micah had a shrine, and he made an ephod and some household gods and installed one of his sons as his priest. 6 In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.

7 A young Levite from Bethlehem in Judah, who had been living within the clan of Judah, 8 left that town in search of some other place to stay. On his way[c] he came to Micah’s house in the hill country of Ephraim.

9 Micah asked him, “Where are you from?”

“I’m a Levite from Bethlehem in Judah,” he said, “and I’m looking for a place to stay.”

Bethlehem "the House of Bread and War" is the primary definition of the House of Israel:

"The noun בית (bayit) means house. It sometimes merely denotes a domestic building, but mostly it denotes the realm of authority of the house-father, or אב (ab). This ab is commonly the living alpha male of a household, but may very well be a founding ancestor (as in the familiar term the "house of Israel"). The אב (ab) may also be a deity, in which case the בית (bayit) is that which we know as a temple.

In the larger economy, a house interacts with other houses. These interactions are governed by the אב (ab), or "father" and executed by the בנים (benim), or "sons": those people living in the house, irrespective of any biological relation with the אב (ab). The "sons" combined add up to אם ('em), which means both "mother" and "tribe"."

The final verse in this tract affirms what I have been saying all along, Eretz Israel shall be one House that connects all the houses through Commonwealth, its heirs shall come from all around the world, they will chosen from every race, color, gender, language, and faith and they will continually drive planet out of darkness into light through the unity of Micah, the pressing of wine, the making of bread and the use of war when needed.

This process must be inaugurated as I said yesterday by the demise of every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for touching those flowers, sacred to Ahaziel, the patron god of the Crown Prince. This shall not be tolerated, not fron the onset.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 5-6: Everyone did as they saw fit. The Number is 8224, דחבב‎ ‎ ‎"I liked it." So long as what we like is ethical no one will care what one likes.

v. 7-8: He left in search of some other place to stay. The Number is 12447, ז‎יבדד‎ ‎ ‎"isolate zibadad", "isolate the dead, the ones with gonorrhea" just like the Mormons!

v. 9: Where are you from? We ask where people are from so we know if they understand where they are going. When Abraham left home with Isaac, and then Jacob, etc. all the way to Joseph left home, none of them knew what was going to happen. We are not they. We have to know.

The Number is 5552, הההב‎‎‎, "the blade." This refers to circumcision. Household gods get circumcised, and while this is a requirement it is not the distinguishing factor for a member of the Line of Succession. The entire Tanakh is considered the Blade that circumcises what is impure from a man and leaves what is a signature of a true Jewish person behind.

Camels, fine Jewish boys carry Moses, the Water of Freedom between the times, the others carry disease, the disease of oppression.

A member of the Line of Succession for Eretz Israel will walk and talk like a person of distinction, especially where bread, wine, and war and their logical conclusions- freedom from tyranny and poverty are concerned.

Shitsuckers like the Mormons and Evangelical Christians, who carry gonorrhea will spread nonsense and try to disrupt the processes God said conclusively are the aspects of the Holy Sabbath He said mankind is to observe.

[put-me-out-of-my-destiny]

So, I was thinking about how Griffon, Shadow, and Nightmare (and Phantom) are all representations of Vergil's "abominable thoughts" from when he was Nelo Angelo, and are inspired by bosses from the original Devil May Cry (a mini-boss, in Shadow's case)

So that led me to thinking: what if, by some contrivance, come up with by someone smarter than me, something similar happened to Kyrie, causing her to generate her own group of demonic familiars formed from her repressed feelings, based on demons from Devil May Cry 4?

Let's consider our candidates:

Berial: I don't think so, he's just a little bit too humanoid to be represented as a familiar in my opinion.

Bael/Dagon: I'd personally be delighted by one of Kyrie's familiars being a fat little frog, but only if it's feelers are replaced with two hunky guys that just so happen to resemble Nero (or a hunky guy who happens to resemble Nero, and a cute girl who happens to resemble Nico). I'll admit the idea of Kyrie's repressed sexual feelings being represented by an ugly little frog is a little funny to me.

Echidna: I could see her being used as a sort of Snatch-like mechanic for Kyrie, since she wouldn't be able to teleport like V does, but not for much else. Of course she's also very humanoid, but not as memorable as Berial, so it doesn't bother me quite as much, but for consistency's sake I would rule her out.

Credo: On one hand, he very much is a person, like Berial and Echidna. On the other hand, Credo is Kyrie's brother, it makes sense that one manifestation of her trauma would resemble him. Then again, I think a Credo familiar would be just a little too messed up for something that I think should be more empowering for Kyrie. I could see this working out like how Phantom did in Visions Of V, turning on Kyrie and being more of an antagonist, representing her very complicated feelings about her late brother.

Agnus: A similar situation to Credo, a very personal connection considering that he put her in the Savoir, but he too is very humanoid, and he would work better as an antagonist

Side note: Kyrie accidentally unleashing a bunch of demons, including two resembling Credo and Agnus would make for a hell of a story. A very weird story, and a very easy one to do wrong, but imagine the possibilities.

Dante/"The Man in Red": Similarly to Credo and Agnus, having an evil Dante clone running around would have some interesting possibilities from a story perspective.

The Savior: An obvious choice tbh, I would make this one serve a similar role to Nightmare in Kyrie's moveset. Yes, the Savior appears humanoid, but it's really more like a giant robot than a person. It'd be cool if summoning it changed Kyrie's appearance to something like Sanctus's Diabolica form, but cooler and a little bit sexy.

Blitz: Not a boss, but niether was Shadow, and the Blitz is actually rather similar to the Shadows in the original Devil May Cry. Given the possibility of familiars being incapacitated in combat, a self-destruct mechanic could be an interesting feature in Kyrie's moveset.

Some additional notes:

Unlike V, who's aesthetic is very goth and based on darkness, Kyrie's is more white and gold, with hint of red.

As stated before, Kyrie has something resembling Nero's Snatch mechanic instead of a teleport like V's.

Her weapon resembles a cross between a spear and the jousting lances the Bianco Angelos use. Her finisher animations are actually rather brutal, she has some anger inside her.

Instead of reading poetry, Kyrie gains DT by singing. This is synchronized with the dynamic soundtrack.

She also wouldn't have Royal Fork like V does, so instead she has a move where she sings a high note and shatters every demon who's can be finished.

Kyrie is extremely friendly and kind to her familiars. In particular, she always baby-talks to Bael and gives them pats.

[thecandywrites]

Anastaschia- High Priestess of Luna Chapter 4

Ok. Well. Again, personal life went to shit again. My middle name is practically Murphy's Law. Because everything that can go wrong, usually does. So here's some fic that is my way of coping and dealing with it. Enjoy.

Chapter 4

The next day though, when Broman came to see how the meat had all smoked, he was surprised to see it all hanging in the kitchen already, and already perfectly preserved and the smoker itself had gotten its first cleaning since its creation and was already ready to be loaded up. 

“You..you didn’t have to clean this Seleneeschia.” Broman offered when he looked the smoker over in surprise, yet impressed with how perfectly clean it was while Selene still couldn't help but bristle slightly at how he said her name. Especially when niether you nor herself had told him the correct and authentic way to say it. It made her fear how he had learned it. Because if he was saying her name the way it was supposed to be said in Alqua, she wondered who else had taken refuge here in Hestra which only put her on her guard even more.

“Well we didn’t want to give it back to you all dirty.” You readily excused. 

“Stasi, could you give Broman and I a moment to talk privately? Go practice your Alqua alphabet on your chalkboard inside.” Your mother urged you in Alqua as you frowned at her and looked a little confused as to why she would request that as you looked from her to Broman who was just as puzzled as you were but you obediently went inside and shut the door from the house to the garden, a confused frown scrunching up your adorable features. 

“Why did you lie to me yesterday?” Selene asked Broman as she had her arms crossed over her chest defensively but while her posture was defensive, her eyes seemed to stare right into his soul and pierce him clean through. 

“Lie about what?” Broman asked in confusion. 

“Why did you lie about having practiced saying my name yesterday morning when you first came yesterday? You said my name the same way my own mother said it. You said it the way it should be pronounced in Alqua, not your Flannish. You did the same thing with Stasi’s name. How did you know our names like that? Because when Stasi told you our names upon first meeting you, she said them in Flannish, not Alqua. Is there anyone else here from Masar Alquimar?” Your mother specified. 

“Oh. That. Um. No. I don't think anyone else in Hestra is from that place.” Broman stuttered as he felt as tall as a footstool under her intense gaze. 

"Then how do you know my name in Alqua?" Selene demanded evenly and when he simply rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he blushed, that only made her feel even more panicked and paranoid.

“Speak truth Broman. That’s what I want and what I will respect. But if you lie, I can not trust you. Especially with Stasi, or anything else. And if there is anyone from Masar Alquimar here, Stasi and I need to leave immediately.” Selene firmly insisted. 

“No! That's not it at all. You're the first and only people I know that come from Masar Alqua-however you say it. I swear on the life of my own mother." Broman insisted because the thought of Selene fleeing Hestra and taking her with you filled him with panic even more because he couldn't follow and protect either her or you if she did.

"Then how do you know our names?" Selene demanded, her tone even sharper and harsher each time she had to repeat the question.

"The truth is I had a dream about you and about Anastaschia and in the dream I knew your full names. That's how. I don't know how I dreamed it right but I did.” Broman finally confessed. 

“What did you see in your dream?” Selene asked as she cocked her head to the side slightly to consider him as she took a few tentative steps forward so she could hear her answers better since his voice had dropped down to a low, albeit bashful, murmur as her panick and paranoia lessoned immensely.

“I saw the home you fled from. I saw the man who dared to have the audacity to call you his wife when he never treated you as such. I saw things that made me wake up in a cold sweat and wishing I would never sleep again if only to never have another nightmare like that again.” Broman answered.

“Tell me. I understand more than you think I do.” Selene urged him. 

“It’s like I saw the last twelve years of your life all at once. I saw how everyone in your old village treated you . I saw how that bastard who called himself your husband beat you and beat your daughter and barely let you have any food in the house. How he stole your hard earned wages and spent them all on his whores and mistresses and his own bastards. I saw how he feasted in taverns while you and Stasi barely had a mouthful of food between you. I saw how the other dyers tried to sabotage your dying vats. So you had to put locks on them. I saw how that bastard’s mistresses wore gowns of silk and satin and had coats of furs and wool but you barely had linen to wear and a thin wool in the winter. I saw how your husband lied to you when he courted you and said that ‘the money you would make in your trade would make up for the smell it made’. But then after you bore Stasi and didn’t bear him a son- how he turned from sweet and charming and loving to bitter, resentful, brutal, abusive and violent. How when you weren’t being struck with his hands and feet, he never stopped striking you with his words either. And it made me so angry. I wanted to kill him. And then, in my dream I did.” Broman confessed, fearing Selene would be even more weary of him but instead she just slowly kept stepping forward and seriously considering him as he spoke while her face was furrowed in concentration but little else the look in her eyes was much less severe.

“And then in my dream I saw how you fled, and then I was there at your home when that bastard woke up and he was too angry to know or realize that I and an army was there and surrounded your old village. He was pulling up all your favorite plants that you needed for your trade out of the ground. How he was cursing you for leaving him and taking Stasi with you. I saw how his whores were ripping up the dresses you left behind. I saw how the other dyers- in trying to unlock the locks on the vats, shattered them instead and only revealed that they were already empty because you had already emptied them. And I wanted to kill all of them for hurting you all those years and for hurting Stasi her whole life.” Broman continued. 

“So then what happened?” Selene asked, her tone surprisingly inviting, and curious but not judgemental or scared or offended. But actually, she was fighting not to grin or smile. But the delight was starting to gleam in her eyes. 

“Well, at that point, I was in such a rage, I beat that bastard that used to call himself your husband to a pulp. I killed him with my own two hands and left him a pile of bloody broken bones and a mush of what used to be muscles on the ground. Then I went inside and demanded every woman in there tell me what they had done to you. And that if they could confess, I would let them live. Which usually goes against everything I believe in. I believe that you should never harm women and especially children. But it was as if these women were just as vicious as that bastard had been and they deserved to suffer the same hurt they inflicted on you. But even they lied to try to save their own skin and instead of confessing, only told on each other instead. So I didn’t stop until they were all lying in pieces around me. And then I burned the village you took refuge in when you fled 13 years ago- to the ground.” Broman lowly revealed even though if he had been looking up, he would have seen how much such a revelation had delighted Selene to hear. 

“It just didn’t make sense because even though, at the time, I was here in Hestra, I was training for the tournament. But it was as if I possessed the man who did all those things. It was as if my mind, heart and soul possessed his body, but only for those moments. The only ones spared were the children. And they were put into a cart and carted off to live as slaves to- I don’t know where. Homeland. That’s where whoever I possessed said. Wherever that was. And in my order to burn it all down to the ground, I specified that only your house and your garden would be untouched and spared and that the plants that he uprooted should be planted back properly again. And yet I knew what those plants were, I knew they were poisonous but what their purpose was- and they were the ingredients for the brilliant blues and greens and purples for dying. I knew that the plants came from your homeland but I couldn’t see your homeland in my dream, only the village you left behind and the bastard who sired Stasi and his worthless family. I saw nothing of Masar Alqua...whatever- however you say it. I have no idea why you left your true homeland. But I swear to you, whatever trouble you're trying to flee from- from there. They can come here, but I will do whatever it takes to protect you and protect Stasi from them." Broman confessed and insisted.

Luna let Selene see what she had done and what Broman looked like possessing the body of a warrior as Luna’s mark glowed on the skin of his chest and on his armor as Selene was awestruck yet unbelievably happy and impressed by what he was able to do thanks to Luna’s help. So Selene immediately launched herself into his arms and he barely had time to react but he caught her and hugged her tight as she cried happy tears of relief. That her daughter would be safe from the life she had unwittingly chosen. And that Luna saw fit to have Broman be her hand of justice. Which was a very high honor in and of-itself. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Selene thanked her as she just couldn’t stop crying yet her smile was so bright and grateful. 

“It was just a dream.” Broman muttered but was still happy and grateful for even this much affection and contact with her. 

“If that’s all you want it to be. Then that’s all it can be for you. But it means a lot to me that you would get us justice, even in that way. It means the world to me that you would not stop or hold back from doing the right thing- even if it wasn’t what you were used to. I’m so happy that you did what you could- even in that state- to keep us safe from that violent and stupid… motherfucking bastard. I never should have married him. I knew I should have listened to my gut that he was an illusion and that he was a good for nothing, two faced son of a bitch. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me even though you were scared. Thank you.” Selene thanked him and planted a kiss to his cheek before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as she dared as he did the same. 

“You’re welcome Seleneeschia.” Broman offered which got her to laugh but pull away just long enough to plant another kiss on his forehead before Broman had to put her down because if he held her like that for another second, he knew he couldn’t trust himself from telling her what else he had dreamed about.

But to see Selene still stand there, wiping her happy tears away but smiling like that, all he wanted to do was gather her back up into his arms and kiss her back. 

“Even if in your dreams, you would rather kill others if they posed a threat to Anastaschia or to me. Then I have no problem trusting you to keep her safe. And I’m very happy and relieved that even in this city of thousands. We have you. You have done more for us and cared for us more in the last two days than that bastard I was unlucky enough to be married to has ever done for us in the last ten years. We could not be more lucky to have you now. And I only wish we could have found a way to leave sooner and come here sooner than we did.” Selene professed. 

“And I will do everything I can, every day to be worthy of such trust.” Broman returned. 

“I know you will.” Selene offered.

"So, who should I keep an eye out for in the future? From Masar Al...I still can't say it right."

"Masar Alquimar. It's been long enough, I think that no one else should be looking for me. But I fled for...complicated reasons. The biggest one of which was an arranged marraige. But otherwise, I was fleeing a war there. It is safer for us to hide in foriegn cities as refugees than it is to go home. For I do not know how long and for how many generations this war may last." Selene tried to vaguely but delicately explain as she ignored Luna's remarks about this "war" that Selene was referring to.

"Ok. Well if and when anyone comes through from such a place. I will make sure to tell them and make them understand that no one here in Hestra has ever been, let alone heard of such a place." Broman reassured her.

"Thank you." Selene thanked him gratefully before you slowly tried to open the door and peek out. 

“Everything’s ok Stasi, you can come back out now.” Your mother bid you before you did. 

“Are you ok Mama?” You asked her in Alqua before she picked you up and hugged you tight to herself. 

“Yes. I’m better than I have ever been in the last ten years. Do you remember what you said to me the night we left our old house? ‘That you had Luna and you had me and that’s all you needed’?” Your mother prompted you in Alqua. 

“Yeah.” You nodded. 

“Well, now you have me, Luna and Broman. And that’s all we need.” She insisted which got you to beam a happy smile. 

“Agreed.” You nodded. 

“And do you remember how two days later after we left, I told you that the bastard who sired you died? And how everyone who was ever mean to us got what they deserved?” She prompted you. 

“Oh yeah.” You beamed an even brighter smile and a more emphatic nod. 

“Look Stasi, let Luna show you who gave them what they deserved.” Your mother prompted you before she turned to the side so you could see Broman as Luna let you see Broman possess the leader and her symbol on his skin and on his armor and just let you see flashes of Broman giving the first blows to them. But it was enough to make you gasp and squeal before you squirmed out of her hold and launched yourself at Broman and hugged him tight. 

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much for giving that bastard what he deserved!” You thanked him in his Flannish which got him to laugh despite the startling of hearing you swear. But he could easily forgive it for such a term was very fitting and appropriate in reference to who you were talking about. 

“So it was real? My dream was real?” Broman asked. 

“Do you want the truth?” You asked him. 

“Yes.” He nodded. 

“Yes it was real. It was not a dream. Our goddess Luna. She let you be her hand of justice when you found the cause to be so. She is the goddess of foresight, of protection, of the rains, waters, oceans and its tides. But she is most of all, the goddess of the moon. If you protect a follower of Luna, she protects you in turn and gives you some insight and understanding if you are having trouble with either. And if our justice is all you want from her. Then that is all she will give you. For she knows how devout you are to Dhanos. Dhanos is the god of the sun and of the harvest. Luna is the goddess of the night and the rains. So that there is a balance. It’s ok. You were not unfaithful or disloyal to Dhanos. For he too is very proud of you and all that you do.” You reassured him as he noticed, almost for the first time- to really see your eyes glow, and glow like the moon against the night sky before it faded when you stopped talking. 

“Do your eyes glow a lot?” He asked you.

“Only when Luna talks to me and lets me see what normal eyes can not see. But it’s not all the time. She usually hides it from everyone else so they don’t think anything bad and therefore, treat me badly. But I can see it when Luna talks to my mom, and she can see when she talks to me. But no one else can see it except us. But if you can see it. That means that Luna trusts you enough to know that you will not mistreat us for it. Just because our relationship with Luna is different than what Dhanos’ relationship is with his followers. I have yet to hear Dhanos’ voice the way I have Luna. But Luna assures me that he is happy to have us here in Hestra.” You explained. 

“Oh wow. Ok. I respect that. I would never want to get between you and your goddess or discourage you from worshiping her when she is already so close to you that you can hear her voice. There are priests and priestesses at Dhanos’ temple that claim he speaks to them. So I don’t doubt that Luna must do the same to you.” Broman reassured you.

“Well it was Luna who saw you. And it was her that told me that you were a good man. Trustworthy, protective, kind and gentle. That others see your face and think that you’re mean. When you’re not. Because she saw your heart and your personality and she told me that it was you who was my protector and my guardian. That it was you who would help me, and help Mama. That you were our savior and our champion. And that you were safe to be around. That you would never hurt me or Mama.” You professed as Broman felt truly humbled. 

“Well I’m happy she did. And I’ll do all I can to live up to that.” Broman insisted. 

“Did anyone at your old village see how your eyes can glow? Is that why they called you ghost eyes?” He asked thoughtfully. 

“No. Just the way my eyes are normally, was enough for them to tease me as mercilessly as they did.” You shook your head no. 

“Well hopefully, from now on, no one will make fun of you, for anything, ever again.” He offered which got you to smile and simply lay your head on his shoulder and hug him tightly. 

It seemed every day after that, Broman came with more “house warming gifts” that he insisted were “charity” so that you never had to pay him back for his generosity. Like a good table with big sturdy chairs so you could sit and eat dinner in the house instead of sitting and eating on the floor and just about every day, he would come first thing in the morning to see what you both needed or wanted and then he would work his shift and then by that night, he would come with his cart that was always loaded full of things, both what you asked for and more. 

“Stasi you must tell him to stop giving so many gifts! He will go broke! This is more than we can ever repay if we worked from sunrise to sunset for the next ten years. If these are courting gifts, I’m not ready to accept them. I’m still healing. I don’t want to give him false hopes or lead him on or hurt him. But if he will find another woman who will love him the way he deserves to be loved, then he should be saving this for her. Not squandering it on me.” Your mother urged you as she was just holding the things he had given to her and was clearly overwhelmed by such wonderful things. 

“What’s wrong? Does she not like it?” Broman asked as he gestured to the table that she just got done helping him move into the house and setting it where she wanted as she simply put the things down on the table and just stood there, staring at it all and was clearly overwhelmed. 

“No, we like them very much. We are very grateful for it. But we feel…not worthy. We are still refugees fleeing war, you are taking care of us better than my father ever did. She is worried these are courting gifts, and she is not ready. You know how much and how badly he hurt her, it’s very hard for her to feel worthy of such things now. Despite all the wonderful things Luna has told us about you. This is what my father did when he courted her, he showered her with gifts, only to rip them away when she didn’t do what he wanted her to. And she worries that you want to be paid back but she can not pay them back depending on what and how you had anything in mind. She is not ready to be courted again. Even though we really need these things, and we appreciate these things, she and I are worried that what you want in return for them, is not something she can give.” You tried to explain to him. 

“Stasi, please tell your mother, that these are not courting gifts.” He insisted even though his heart, mind and soul were screaming different things at him. 

“I know the bastard who sired you was a piece of shit. And I can’t imagine the hurt that she is still trying to heal from in her mind, heart and spirit. I’m sure she may take a very long time to heal from all of that. But you have needs now that I am able to fill and that I want to fill. If you want me to be like a real and true father to you- I can be, but only if you want me to be. But the gifts are yours regardless of who gives them to you. Your mother does not have to court me or marry me or love me or anything like that to receive my gifts. And I never want to be paid back for them. Ever.” Broman insisted. 

“But I want to love you like you’re my Daddy if you will have me as your daughter.” You started to cry before he pulled you into a hug since he had taken a knee to be more or less than eye level with him.  

“Ok. Then that’s more than enough Anastaschia. If you want me to be your Papa, your Daddy, your father, I will be. No marriage to your mother required. I will sleep easy at night knowing that you are well and taken care of. That’s all I want. And I will happily adopt you and be the best Papa to you that I can be.” He offered as you sniffled but smiled happily into the crux of his neck and shoulder as you hugged so tight you never wanted to let go as you would finally have a father who would really love you and always treat you with love and care instead of disdain and resentment over obligation. 

“Mama, he says he will be my Daddy without marrying you. That he is not trying to court you. He just wants to be my Daddy. That’s all. And that’s all I want.” You pleaded to your mother in Alqua before she wiped her own tears from her eyes since Luna has fully translated his words for her before she got on her knees next to you before she hugged him too. 

“Give me time Broman. Give me time, when I heal, you will be the first I will consider.” She offered. 

“Ok. Even if it takes years, I’m ok with that. No rush. Just be careful, many others will try to court you too. And a lot of them are younger and more handsome than I am.” He reassured her as he hugged her to his other shoulder as he felt like he was finally holding the family he always dreamed of his whole life. He would wait as long as he needed until he could do this all the time. 

“And don’t worry about me going broke. I’ve been saving my wages for the last thirty years. I have more than enough to build you a great house several times over if you wanted it. But for now, please let me help you make this house your home. For you and especially for Stasi.” He requested. 

“Ok, but only if you will stay and eat a meal with us at least once a week.” She brokered. 

“Deal.” He readily agreed. 

The next day, he came with his family, who all brought food already cooked but would be eaten at your house- as they gifted a set of real silver utensils to serve as your eating utensils. Broman introduced them all to you and your mother and so his nieces and nephews could meet you since they were similar in age and would be going to school with you and you easily and readily befriended them. 

They all thought your accent was beautiful and that your eyes were even more so. And since they had seen pitch black hair before- they thought it was very pretty, and very soft. You and Broman’s nieces all traded braiding styles and patterns, completely missing how everyone was giving Broman not so subtle grins and winks and jabs with their elbows. Especially Broman’s own parents, as his parents practically adopted you as another granddaughter. They came with a whole new wardrobe and bolts and bolts of fabrics and special paper to make patterns for clothing and a bunch of sewing supplies too. They also all practiced saying your name and saying it correctly and you were happy when they could call you Stasi with as much fondness and affection as your mother did.

They also happily paid very generously for their own wool to be dyed before it would be made into yarn since most of them just had their spring flocks shorn while also giving very charitable gifts too. Bromans sisters and sisters in law and his mother all encouraged your mother to shop in the market with them and they would help her stretch her budget as far as it would go and try to get everything else she needed along with directions on how to get to their houses around Hestra. They also insisted that Broman should accompany her to the market when she couldn’t shop with them since they didn’t want your mother to be harassed or targeted by the worthless hooligans who always seemed to be roaming about Hestra. And to watch out for some of the beggars, because some of them had a legitimate need. While others, preferred to beg out of laziness rather than work hard for their money and would be drunk as soon as they were given money for ale. 

And of course, everyone came with new toys for you, since all you had was that one little rag doll made out of the scraps of what had been your mother’s sari that she made into your traveling outfit. And you were happy when these toys were actually better and nicer than the ones you had left behind. They also brought all kinds of fruit and nut trees too to plant in your garden and that they should be planted along the walls that would need to be rebuilt since they were crumbling in a lot of places and they brought in a really large bathing tub so that you didn’t have to have only sponge baths to get clean. They even agreed to pool money to buy you and your mother at least one proper bed to keep you and your mother from sleeping on the floor since the kids had gone up to the loft and saw that you and your mother were simply sleeping on the floor with your cloaks serving as both bed, mattress and blankets. Broman and his brothers even insisted they come to do repairs on the house, especially with that weak and wobbly banister since you or your mother could easily break it and fall to your death on the dining room table just underneath it. 

On Broman’s off day two days after that- he took you and your mother to the market and your mother happily greeted the other vendors there, especially the non human ones who were delighted when she greeted them in their own mother tongue and were even more ecstatic to learn that if they simply talked to you a bit and you could hear them speak their language, you could pick it up and start talking back to them easily enough and wished they could hire you to be their translator when they tried to come and do business here because the common tongue in Hestra- which was Flannish- was difficult for some of them to grasp and articulate. 

And their children especially were happy that they weren’t the only children who felt out of place when visiting mostly human villages and appreciated that you understood what it was like to be somewhere and not feel welcomed or that you belonged in that place. Your mother and yourself made plans that as soon as you would learn Hestra’s Flannish, and could learn their language from them, you would work on a simple translation paper so that they and their customers could do better business. And that they wouldn’t be cheated out of their goods, while others wouldn’t be easily angered out of frustration from a lack of clear communication. But because of this, it meant that they gave you and your mother their best prices for their wares while she also offered to give them the best prices she could on her own dying services. 

“How many languages do you speak?” Broman asked you as he was carrying the bulk of what your mother had bought and was carrying it to his cart. 

“Just two. But the man who sired me spoke a dialect of Flannish. Otherwise I only speak Alqua normally. But…when I talk to others who speak another language, it’s..it’s like the more I listen to it and know what they are talking about- I can pick it up and repeat it back to them. My mother calls me a parrot, a bird who repeats everything I hear.” You answered which made Broman’s grin widen into a smile. 

“Well it’s good that you are still young enough that you pick up language easily.” Broman praised. 

“Well I have been praying for the ability to learn, know and understand the language I want to learn. And my prayers have been answered so far.” You explained. 

“Good, I hope all your prayers continue to be answered.” He offered. 

“They have. I have you. And you are all the Papa I could ever want.” You smiled happily and Broman fought not to burst into tears when you reached up and hugged him from the side. Your head nuzzling into his side, happy that he didn’t sound, smell or look anything like the bastard who sired you and his scent was all the comfort you wanted or needed. And the moment he got a chance to put it down he happily picked you up and just hugged you. He didn’t care if he was making a spectacle of himself in the market square. He had a daughter who was so much more than he could ever dream of, and that was enough for him. He didn’t care if he had to spend every coin he had ever saved and could earn. He would happily spend it all to take care of you and practically spoil you rotten as he vowed to Dhanos that he would never let you come to harm as long as he drew breath.  

The other shop keepers at first tried to shamelessly flirt with your mother when she would go into their shops while Broman was usually with you, looking at the displays in the front of the shop and at first. The two of you would be just out of line of sight but definitely still in earshot as Broman made a note of exactly what they said. And once you had picked out what you liked from that shop, he would return to your mother’s side while she would continue to peruse the shop’s goods. Then Broman would make a point of clasping his large, strong hand on the shop keeper’s shoulder and taking them to the back to “talk with them privately”.  And the fear in their eyes when he would do this almost comical but when they would return, the shop keepers would of course apologize for their rudeness and unprofessionalism and of course, give you and your mother good discounts on the prices to both be “charitable” towards a fatherless child and a widow, but also out of fear of Broman making good on whatever he had threatened them with in private. 

Because in all of the Castle Guard, none was more fearsome yet respected and revered as he was. Because Broman was always a man of his word and while he was never one to look for trouble, he was also one to never mess with because in the past, if anyone had ever messed with him or his own- they dealt with him and he finished whatever it was. He was also a great champion in the jousting tournaments and especially the mêlée tournaments in all of Hestra. Because he was a man who had never married and had instead devoted himself to being the best knight of his Lord and the greatest soldier as well and everyone in Hestra both knew him and knew of him and he had quite the reputation for being a courtly knight, an honorable champion, and a protector of his family and the realm. But also the best fighter and warrior in all of Hestra. 

But sadly, all maidens and other women of Hestra claimed that they would only lay with him if he kept his helmet on so they wouldn’t have to see his face. And most of the whores were never desperate enough to try to ply their own trade on him, thinking he would be just as powerful and brutal in the bedroom as he could be on the tournament grounds. And it wasn’t until the whores were eventually eaten up with their various sexual sicknesses, that they were desperate to ply their trade on anyone and everyone, even the beggars since most of them were put out of the good brothels and only the worst brothels would take them and their children in. But by then, he treasured his health more than he wanted any kind of release from them. But he would still give them some coin- if only to feed their children and it was usually by then, that most women learned- too late, what kind of man Broman could have been to them if they had given him a chance from the start, which was always their regret. But now, hopefully it would be to Selene’s advantage. 

And while in the past, that had always hurt his feelings that no matter how much he devoted himself to being the most chivalrous knight in the realm. No lady, either high born or low, would ever accept even the idea of his attempts at courting him unless they were already eaten up by various sexually transmitted diseases, the most common being the sex pox. 

But now that you and your mother were here, he was so grateful he had never married or settled for less than what he felt he deserved and had earned and the gods had literally been saving the fairest of all just for him. He had seen too many parents not appreciate their children as the blessings they were and instead view them as a burden that only the parents had brought onto themselves but dared blame the innocent party for. And he would be damned if he ever did the same. 

Your mother saw another specialty stone shop and saw that they had polished stones as she wondered if they would have a polished stone phallus that would satisfy her until her heart and soul were ready to accept Broman or any other for that matter. But she dare not shop for such things with Broman. Maybe his sisters in law might understand that her body had needs that her heart wouldn’t allow her to fulfill yet. 

Thankfully the next day, she was able to talk to Broman’s sister Odette and thankfully, with your help with translating- Odette readily understood and knew just the shops to take your mother to and simply had her own children sit by the fountain in the town square to eat roasted chicken legs and sweet waffles while she went into the place with your mother. 

“Hello Maisey, so this is my new friend Selene, she’s a widow and refugee, who just lost her husband, but she has certain needs since she was a married woman she is used to getting those needs met and now that she’s a widow, she wishes to still satisfy those desires while she mourns and grieves.” Odette murmured to Maisey. 

“Ah, ok, come behind the counter.” Maisey invited with a knowing grin as she pulled up the cloth that covered the secret collection of polished stone phallus’ from the rest of the store that sold stones, both precious and semi- precious for various uses. And behind the counter behind that curtain stood a plethora of phallus’ of every size, shape and kind imaginable. 

“Champion McGee?” Your mother balked when she saw a phallus with that name. 

“Oh, that's Captain Broman McGee. He’s only ever laid with a single lady once after his second tournament win when he was still a teenager. But she is the only one to have ever done so. But this is- according to her- is what Dhanos has gifted him with. It’s my biggest seller after every tournament because all the women of Hestra want to fantasize about bedding the champion but only if he’d keep his helmet on. However no woman since has ever been brave enough to try. Mostly because he’s very defensive. Some wonder if he prefers to lie with men instead but no one in the Castle Guard has come forward to say that he is and from the talk of the town, he’s simply celebate. But I’m sure once he’s old enough to not be a champion in the games, then I’ll just rename it after the next champion.” Maisey admitted. 

“Then I shall take one as well.” Your mother Selene decided before she took one and promptly paid the price for it before she took it and slipped it into her bag before she bought some special sex oil as a lubricant to go with it that was at the front of the store but labled “special polishing oil”. 

On Sunday you went to the temple and Priest Octavius and the rest of the priesthood welcomed you into the congregation and spouted your tale of woe to the whole congregation and took up another alms for you from the whole congregation which you were happy to receive. And when the box was opened- Luna whispered to you that you should get two of the largest and most valuable coins and give them back to the Temple to show gratuity, graciousness and generosity which you did and the priesthood both happily accepted it and used you and your mother as the example of generosity even in relative poverty, you would give the best back to god as they all tried to give you and your family many blessings as Lord and Lady bathes were also happy to show off their special scarves you had gifted to them in their court at the beginning of the week.  

After the services, Broman and many others, including others in the priesthood- took Temple’s carts that were filled with all kinds of things that the people of Hestra had donated to the alms and happily went to your house was to drop off furniture to the house. And of course continue to talk to you and your mother about what you needed to make the house a home as your mother had cleverly hidden your talisman and her phallus into some of the stones of the walls since the last tenant had carved out secret hiding places among them that you and your mother had been discovering all week, including many, many little sacks of money. 

“So can you tell me your father’s name Stasi? So I can say prayers for his soul?” Priestess Lira asked as she helped you hang up your clothes and school uniforms into the armoire that had been given to you. 

“Broman has agreed to be like my father, please, pray for him.” You offered. 

“No, your mother’s husband, your father, the one who fathered you.” She specified. 

“You shouldn’t pray for him.” You shook your head no. 

“Why not?” She asked before you looked around and pulled her to the corner of the room and hushed your voice. 

“The man who sired me, he was not a good man. He married my mother, and I was his only legitimate child. But when I was born a girl, he took up many mistresses to get sons. And he had many bastards, all of them were very mean to my mother and me because we were so different. When my mother was young- he courted her only because she was exotic and beautiful. But when he married her, he hated her for not speaking his language and he blamed her and me for all his problems when they were only the consequences of his own actions. He forced my mother to work to dye for money and would beat her when she did not earn enough, even though she would work from before sunrise to after sunset, nothing was ever good enough. He hated me and beat me whenever I was too much like her. He stole all our money and food and gave it to his mistresses, so that we could only eat what we grew in a garden, but nothing else. He beat my mother and me until we were covered in black and purple bruises head to toe. He tried to sell me as a whore too, even though I am still a child. He was drunk all the time and spent all his time at the tavern as a whore when he was not working as a musician in the Lord and Lady’s great house in their court. Even the Lady of the house had his bastards and got sick. He hated us, but would not divorce my mother so he could continue to steal her wages, and would not permit my mother to leave the village and he held me as a hostage against her until he could steal from her, beat her while he raped her. He was eaten up with both the burning disease and the sex pox. My mother was immune and since I am her daughter, she passed that immunity to me. He stole my clothes and toys and shoes and gave them to his bastards. Do not pray for such a man. He was never worthy. God told us a few days before the army came to leave and come here and save us both from him and the army. Our god told us that because of his badness, that the man who sired me would be the first to die and that his death was his punishment for all the hurt he did to me and my mother. Do not pray for him.” You urged her as Lira was moved to tears in horror. 

“Oh you poor child.” She offered you as she hugged you tight. 

“No wonder the god has blessed you so and sent Broman as your guardian. No other- in Hestra would be better for it.” Lira mused. 

“I will not be praying for- as you put it- the man that sired you. No wonder you don’t seem that heartbroken over it.” Lira reassured you. 

“Thank you. If you will pray for anyone, pray for Broman. He has been kinder to me in one week than the man who sired me ever was my whole life. He deserves your prayers.” You insisted. 

“Yes, of course. Of course.” She readily agreed.

“But it’s because of the man who sired me- that my mother is weary of all men, fearing they are all like that. Charming to everyone else outside of the home, but more vicious than a viper inside the home.” You excused. 

“Sweetheart, that is one of the reasons why I became a priestess just so I could avoid that too. But as far as I know, Broman is not that kind of man. He’s the opposite of that kind of man. But now that I know this, I will make sure that your mother knows who to stay away from.” Lira insisted. 

“Thank you.” You thanked her and hugged her tightly again before you finished and went back downstairs with everyone else before everything was moved in and thankfully everyone else left to leave you to settle in. 

“So? Are you happy with your new home?” Your mother asked you as you settled into the now surprisingly soft mattress complete with soft linen sheets and warm wool blankets and down pillows, straight from the market stall vendors, and brand new. And while your mother had doused it with “cleaner” before she could wash it properly the next day since work was “forbidden” on Sunday except for making food- since it was a day of rest. But tomorrow she would be working on scrubbing and cleaning everything to make sure no disease would be brought into her new home, nor pest either. 

“It is a work in progress. But I’m happiest with Broman. I wish he could have been my father from the beginning.” You murmured. 

“Me too Darling. Which is why when you go to school tomorrow, many boys might try to flirt with you, be guarded. Do not let them speak to you about betrothal or engagements. You are a child. You should enjoy what is left of your childhood and you have many years, at least another decade before you should think or worry, let alone consider marriage. You need to be a fully mature woman, past the bloom of youth, but settled in personality and likes. And your partner should be too. If you are to share your life with someone, be sure that you will get along. There should be natural affection, and attraction. But looks fade with youth, but the personality and the secret person of the heart will remain. You should love their heart and personality most of all. I made the mistake that thinking that how that bastard treated me while he courted me was going to be the way he was going to treat me forever. But once the blush of lust passed, there was nothing there left to love because who I thought I fell in love with, was an illusion that that bastard made himself into. Once the illusion faded and he was fully revealed to me- it was too late to break free of him. He kept me prisoner without ever having to use chains or a dungeon. I never want that for you. I want you to be free Anastaschia, I never want you to lean on anyone but yourself and put your faith in any god proves true to you. Luna has rescued us from our last home. Dhanos has given us a new home in his city. Luna is not the kind of goddess that demands exclusive devotion. Dhanos’ though, I’m not sure because I am not familiar with him. So we shall see. But I am grateful to be free of that bastard and I’m grateful I could rescue you from him as well and I’m sorry I couldn’t manage to do it any sooner. I’m also very grateful that Luna has found our savior in our time of need in Broman. I can only hope that his affection for you doesn’t fade quickly or turn cold when I may take longer to warm to him than my heart will let me even try.” She advised. 

“Then I will wait for Luna to tell me if there is a man worthy of me and my love, and I will wait for Dhanos to show and prove himself to me the way Luna has.” You offered. 

“And you will fare well if you remember this and hold true to it. Do not let your late teen years and hormones and hunger for sex change your mind or your weaken your resolve.” Your mother urged you. 

“Yes Mama.” You smiled as you cuddled into her side before you were both soon fast asleep.

[meili-sheep]

Okay but rolling with Chiluc and your older brother Kaeya! headcanon: not long after Childe and Diluc start dating, Kaeya pulls his brother’s new bf aside and makes sure he understands what will happen if he ever hurts Luc. “Unlike me, Diluc doesn’t date for fun. He treats it more seriously and only pursues those he cares deeply for. So I highly recommend not breaking his heart. Understand?”

Also! Hope you’re having a good day!

Moring! I'm doing ok. I hope you are too!

But here we are again. More fuel to my Kaeya hates Childe fire. And I think it would be worst with younger Diluc. Cause protect would be STRONG.

I feel the hate would be pretty mutual, especially if Childe knew Diluc and Kaeya's history. Cause he'd been offended that this guy who acted as a terrible older brother and didn't support his little brother when he needed it most, is telling him to be careful??? Like Childe would not give a shit about Kaeya's side of the story. He only knows Diluc feels bad and still cares about Kaeya, so he'd be pissy.

And neither would want to upset Diluc so they have this constant silent war fighting over protecting and taking care of Diluc.

Childe gets Diluc flower, Kaeya get him something the only means something between the two of them or talk about an event only they know. Childe kissing Diluc in front of Kaeya and flipping him off well Kaeya death glares.

If things got too spicy though I feel Diluc would be a pretty good medator and able to tell who cross what lines. And he does want them to get along, but would deeply fear having to give one up. Niether would want Diluc to choose, but that fear still is pretty in Diluc and he would never kinda speak on it but they could see it. So they slowly learn to tolerate each other, trying to easy a little of Diluc's worry.

[submissivewomanofgod]

Introduction: God Loves us All

Let us begin with a kind reminder to ALL that walk this earth that God loves ALL of us.

Every single living breathing being. All that have been.. will be and who have passed. All that God has created.

The one's you despise. The ones you hate. The ones that have tresspassed against you. The one's you disagree with. The one's you have formed disagreement with. The one's that appear to be good and honest to the ones that folly and appear lost. To the one's that Praise Gods name to the one's that denounce His existence. No matter the amount strength or how weak. No matter the amount of beauty they posses or lack there of. No matter their place of birth or where they shall reside. Niether the amount of riches...diamond and pearls or lack there of will make Him Love you more or less.

There is not one face you've ever peered into the eyes of that God does not love. That Jesus the Son of God did not die on the cross for. For He does love one of His children more then the other nore does He have favorites.

In Gods infinite Love for us. His unconditional accepting Love for us... He gave us His only Son who could have lived on for many a year but chose to give up His life and die for our sins.

For alone God knew without Him we would be wretched sinners walking the earth. Living of the flesh. Living in sin. Dead to the Truth. With no redemption.

Jesus's death is a great mercy to our souls. For without Him we all would parish. We would never be able to even shy close to the kingdom of Heavens gate for we are Unworthy souls Lead by the Flesh and the Devils pull on our Souls.

So before looking down on Thy Christian brothers and sisters and those that do not follow Gods mighty words remember.... God love's us all.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Overgrown Metal

Series Summary:  Almost two decades ago, the fae rose up from beyond the veil with technology far surpassing the human race, quickly taking over after laying waste to nearly everything in their wake. Now eight paths cross to right the wrongs on both ends, working to uncover secrets that would have rather stayed hidden

Chapter 4: Snarling Dogs

Trigger Warnings: caps lock for yelling, swearing

Remy tried not to breathe in too deeply as he dodged and weaved around people and stalls alike in the crowded marketplace. Sellers shouted out their wares and prices for everything from the rare pilfered canned goods to...less than sanitary goods. Metal, body odor and sewage from a nearby line made opening ones mouth a less than favorable option making him extremely grateful he lived and worked with Remus and didn't have to earn a living up here. Adjusting his hold on the grocery pack slung over his shoulder he dodged a family looking through a selection of warmer clothes, the girl trying her best to swipe a pair of gloves unnoticed. He silently wished them luck. A family of thieves lasted only as long as their latest trainee failed to get caught.

Nearing the exit to the marketplace his shoulders sagged with relief, quickening his pace as he stairs came into view. Old and cracked as they were he was always surprised their little city lasted as long as it had; hastily made and as ramshackle as any other put together out if the desperate hope for a safe haven, the underground establishment boasted three levels all separated by concrete slabs taken from surface buildings and steel bars that were about the only steady thing about the place.

He had almost made it to the first flight of stairs when he heard a short cry coming from an alleyway close by. Whipping around he gripped the groceries tighter and wandered over in the direction it had come from. He knew he'd be chewed out by Remus for this but he always hated leaving anything curious alone, whether it be for gossip or guilts sake. Just a quick peek, he thought as he rounded a corner. Scope it out and then either let it be and have something juicy to tell his husband later or help someone who needed it and have something juicy to tell his husband later. Win win either way.

Finally spotting two figures at the end of a dim alley way between two storage buildings he squinted harshly as he set the groceries down and crept forward. One of them was saying something, and the closer he got the less he liked it.

"...be fine sweetheart. It'll be quick and easy and then they'll take care of you for the rest of your life. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"I don't want to." Remy's vision flashed red at those words, the taller man clearly leaning closer to the woman, caging her in his arms. He tried to be as silent as possible, debris scattered around making it hard to place his feet quietly. He had gotten only a few feet away when it seemed like the man was done playing whatever game he had going on, taking something out if his pocket and sneering down at his prey.

"I'm not so sure you have a choice." Remy had seen and heard enough, standing up and running forward quickly he brought his left arm up and swung back before pitching forward, throwing all of his weight to clock the man just right in the side of the head.

The woman shrieked as the man crumpled instantly, not without Remy wincing as a couple of his fingers starting sticking in place as the knuckles fought to adjust to the now bent frame. Shit, now Remus really would be mad. Though it hardly mattered at the moment, turning to the terrified woman with what he hoped was a friendly smile. He froze for a moment following her line of sight to his shining hand.

He flexed his fingers in a mock wave, mechanical digits creaking a bit from the impact they had barely endured. He chuckled nervously and put it in his pocket. "You like it? My husband got it for me"

Trying for humor seemed to be the key as she let out a nervous giggle, flicking from him to her attacker and back again. He looked down and nudged the prone man with his foot, an odd device that he must have dropped catching his eye. A stylized snarling dog insignia was engraved at the side of what almost looked like a dart gun, eyes widening as he realized what it was.

"He was going to chip you?" The other startled as she bit her lip and looked away. Putting the peices together he supposed it made sense. Society members sometimes came to lower settlements to scope out fresh meat for whatever it was they did to the people they indoctrinated. He had heard scant details from Remus from his own time spent in one as a child. He looked down his nose at the man. Hopefully he hadn't gotten a good look at Remy's face.

"Do you need an escort home? I promise I have better manners towards people who aren't trying to attack someone."

The woman shook her head, carefully stepping around both him and the man. "I'll be fine now. Thank you, for what you did."

With that she turned and ran, which Remy couldn't blame her for, you didn't really make friends in this particular city. Sniffing indignantly nonetheless he turned on his heel and made his way back to his groceries, hauling them up with his good hand and making his way home.

Niether of them had noticed the small, blinking red light at the end of the chip gun.

----

"You're sure this will heal?" Remus huffed as he tied off another stitch, the gaping wound in his patient's arm finally closing and ready to be bandaged.

"If you keep it clean and don't fuck it up again it'll heal just fine." He ignored the soft "language please" from across the from and focused on slathering antibacterial ointment over the wound before getting out a roll of gauze. "I'm the best in the business, you'll live. And if your arm does fall off I have plenty of replacements!"

He grinned as his patient paled somewhat, taking in the rows of neatly arranged mechanical limbs the small office was most known for in the black market. "Do you- do you get all that metal from the fairies?"

"Mmm, technically I guess. We get some of it from Hunters that come by and trade the metal for supplies, sometimes we trade for aluminum or dig around scrap vulture packs for odds and ends. One man's trash is another man's polished trash, and I'm the best there is!" Tying off the gauze with an of finality he turned as the door opened. "Remy you're- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?!"

The unholy screech that left Remus' mouth left everyone in the room and a mile wide radius wincing from the volume. Remy, for his part, had the presence of mind to look at least a little ashamed, scuffing his toe along the floor and hiding the mangled, twitching limb behind his back. "I uh, fell?"

Remus' eyes darkened as he stood up. "Everyone out! We are now closed! Emile, the baggy!"

Scrambling around the desk Emile grabbed the patients to go bag which was swiftly grabbed up and thrown in their face. "Out! My husband is more important!"

"Remus!" Despite Emile's chiding the office was cleared relatively quickly as Remus stalked forward with his hand out.

"Groceries down. Walk and talk. Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt anywhere else? Where did you go? Wh-"

"Babes!" Remus snapped his mouth shut as Remy's protest and the lankier man sighed. "I got curious when I heard someone scream and ended up punching some dude in an alleyway for trying to chip a woman. Probs a Society member. They didn't see me, I just fucked my hand up."

Remus looked up as his hand was squeezed. "I'm okay."

Huffing he turned back to inspecting the ruined prosthetic, wincing as the other hissed in pain as he tried moving the digits. "Okay. Okay we'll...wrap these for now. You're damn lucky Emile and I have been working on something better for you."

Remy raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Well now I won't tell you because I'm pissed that my husband's an idiot without one brain cell to rub against his skull for some self preservation!"

Remy grinned and leaned back, accepting the pain killers Emile offered with a grateful nod as his fingers and hand were carefully wrapped to keep them relatively still.

"How much did you get for the scrap?" The question snapped him out of his thoughts and he pursed his lips as he looked over to the abandoned groceries.

"Enough." He didn't want to mention prices were starting to drop and it was getting harder to negotiate for fair ones. Food and materials were starting to get scarce and a lot of people were starting to talk about leaving their little society for more promising ones that didn't operate with such delicacy. He always knew it would happen eventually, but he figured their little family would be long gone by then.

Remus grunted in response and Remy closed his eyes tiredly. Navigating his way through all the levels and people for hours was always exhausting, he couldn't wait to go upstairs and slip into their bed for a quick nap before dinner.

"The bags under your eyes are big enough to hold the groceries themselves, go to bed. I'll be up in a few minutes." Remus punctuated this by flicking the tip of his nose, to which he only recieved a lazy grin in return for his thoughts being answered so quickly.

"Yes sir." Despite his exhaustion he winked playfully before getting up slowly and giving Remus a peck on the lips, waving quickly to Emile before turning and heading towards the stairs.

"And actually go to bed! No coffee!" Emile called after him as an afterthought, to which xe recieved a few low grumbles that xe hoped was in agreement. Neither xyr cousin nor cousin in law had the best sleeping habits, and their constant caffeine consumption did nothing to help it.

"We did actually finish that right? I forget if we did that or another project." Emile turned and smiled wryly.

"You really need to start using to do lists. We did them both at the same time, so yeah, Remy's hand is done. It's in the bottom drawer in the filing cabinet."

Xe started tidying up the office as Remus rummaged around in the cabinet. Biting xyr lip xe voiced a growing concern. "Do you think it's a bad sign Society members are starting scope this place out? We're pretty far away from the closest ones and those arent nearly as dangerous as some can be."

Emile almost wanted xyr words back as Remus stiffened, but the other only shrugged as he waved the hand he found back and forth. "It's fine. Those dogs go sniffing around everything they don't have their teeth in already. Probably just some recruitment that I'm very happy my brave and dashing husband discouraged."

"Right." Emile rolled xyr eyes and placed xyr hands in xyr hips. "Well, everything's cleaned up so I'm gonna head downstairs to file whatever papers you left."

"You're such a doll! I'll have dinner ready soon yeah? Remember to lock the door!"

"Already did!" Returning the kiss blown in xyr direction xe headed down to the basement quickly, blueprints trapped safely against xyr chest to sort through with all the others. Xe knew xe shouldn't worry but...with xyr cousin's history-

Xe shook xyr head quickly. It would be fine. It had to be. Xe had finally gotten a little bit of xyr family living under one roof for quite a few years now. No Society member was going to make xem fear that being taken away from xem. With determination burning xyr veins xe flicked on the light and turned towards the worktables.

Groaning xe set the stack xe was holding down with all the other and dragged xyr hands over xyr face. ADHD be damned xe were still kicking Remus' butt come dinnertime.

This work and others are also available on AO3!

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[lovelyredrose]

I will dump this here so I can never see it again I don't care if anyone use this or not I just want this piece to be posted since it kinda turn out good but anyway I posted this before in Ao3 but I decided to delete it since It hurt someone

I never intend to hurt a person by making these I swear this just cross my mind while I was work distracting my self so I couldn't feel how my head hurts so bad. But it is slightly based on a doujin of diff OTP that I read years ago that I suddenly remember

I just want you to know my side . Since this makes me feel so guilty that this piece kinda hurt you in someway. I wanna apologize to you, I can't dm you since I am a shy person but I hope this reach you. I just wanted say sorry, I'm sorry really really sorry if you ever come across this post I hope you accept my sincere apology. I'm really sorry. I love your work so much and I never intend this piece to make you stop working on that I'm sorry again🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

For now I will support you from afar since I think I don't have the right to react on your posts but I will always support you and your works.

Tags: Not Rated, Haikyuu!!, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou, Fluff, long distance, AtsuHina, coming home, Atsumu is a hinata simp haha, M/M, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Summary:

The distance between Atsumu Miya and Shouyou Hinata

Sao Paulo,Brazil ----> Hyogo, Japan

18,731KM ----> 0.00 KM

From oceans apart and finally back into each other's arms

Notes:

Kinda New at writing Atshn

It's My OTP so I'm kinda nervous sharing this to you

But I hope you kinda like it 😊

** Some of the distance is not that accurate 😊

Published at: 2021-03-12

Revised at: 2021-03-12 04:21:42 -0500

March 5,202x

Current Distance: 18 731 km

Sao Paulo, Brazil --->  Hyogo, Japan

Current Time : 11:00 pm ---> 11:00 am

I Woke up to the sound of my phone ringing

I Answer it

Then I heard the voice of my sunshine

"Tsumu did I wake ya up ?"

I Stiffle a Yawn and Rub my eyes

"Kinda but ya know I don't mind If it's you,Shoyou-kun"

I imagined Shoyou smiling from the otherside of the phone

"You're being flirty in the middle of the night Tsumu, but I called cause I have a great news for you"

Shoyou couldn't hide the excitement in his voice

"What is your news Sho-kun"

Then I heard him laughed

Oh I miss him so much I thought

"Can you open your camera so I can see your reaction on what I'm about to say"

I open the lights and sit myself up

Then I open my camera

Then I saw is a tanned man with orange hair

Smiling at me

His hazel eyes have the same longing look as mine

Wind brushes his hair

He must me sitting on his apartment balcony

"Hi Tsumu" and then he smiled at me

"Hello Shoyou"

We stare at each other for a long time

And then we both laughed

The sound of our laughter filled the room

"So Sho-kun what is the thing that you wanted to say to me " I asked him

" Umm about that Tsumu I kinda got a month long break  and I was planning to return to Japan"

He smiled it's so bright like a sun

I was speechless

Is this real I thought

I just always dream Shoyou saying those words 

Finally Shoyo is coming back to japan

He is finally coming home to me after a year of him being in Brazil

This dull apartment will be filled with his light again

The sun will finally rise again after a long night

"Tsumu are you all right?"

He was waving his hand in front of the camera

Then I smiled a smile that reach the corner of my eyes

"Sho I'm so happy I don't know what to say I'm so surprise, wanna give you a hug so tight right now"

If only I could do it I thought

"Hehe Tsumu do it when I came home, Will you not ask when I'll go back"

I was confused at first but I asked anyway

"When are you coming home Sho-kun"

Sho-kun gigled and he sudden rotate his camera to show me his Luggage and bags

Luggage

Bags

NO WAY

"Eh You're coming home today ?" I shouted

"Surprise Tsumu, Actually its Tomorrow and My flight is at 3am."

I couldn't process evrything I'm still in the state of shock

"So I'll arrive on March 7 at 2pm , Tsumu you better pick me up at the airport"

I regain my composure

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world"

We both smiled and can hide our excitement to see each other

March 6,202x

Current Distance: 13 101 km

Sao Paulo, Brazil (In Flight)  --->  Hyogo, Japan

Current Time :  9 :00 am ---> 9:00 pm

I Can't sleep

Sho is already boarded his airplane

So I decided to watch some T.V

To distract mylself but it doesn't seem to work

I reread again the message he send me

 

Fr: Sho-kun🔆

To: Tsumu 🦊

Time: 2:30 am 3/6/202x

Tsumu I'm boarding the plane now I can't wait to see you Love you 😘

--------

Fr: Tsumu 🦊

To : Sho-kun 🔆

Time : 2:35 pm 3/6/202x

Have a safe flight Sho, I'll be waiting for you

I love you 😘

Why does the time seems to be slower when you are waiting ll

I turn off the T.V and try my best to fall asleep

Thinking few more hours you'll be in my arms

March 7, 202x

Current Distance: 7 121 km

Sao Paulo, Brazil (In flight) --->  Hyogo, Japan

Current Time : 7:00 pm ---> 7:00 am

My alarm kept ringing

I turn it off

Today is finally the day

Shoyou will arrive in japan

I have roughly 7 hrs before he arrived

I went started my day

Morning Run

Eating Breakfast

When I check again the time It's only 9:00 am

5 more hours I keep chanting

I couldn't sit still

Then an Idea came to my mind

I look for a Cardboard and I try to write something in it

When I'm done with it

It was  already 11 am and it'a time for me to go to the airport

March 7, 202x

Current Distance: 2,310 km

Hyogo, Japan ( Airport )

Current Time : 1:00 pm

I can't keep still

I keep walking back and forth at the arrival area

1 more hour and His plane will land

I was holding a white Card Board with words written on it is

" ���り���日�翔陽"

(Welcome Back Hinata Shoyou)

He'll be here in a few minutes I keep chanting in my head as I walk back and fourth

March 7, 202x

Current Distance: 237 km

Hyogo, Japan ( Airport )

Current Time : 2:00 pm

He's already here

His plane just landed

I was walking near the arrival area to look for Sho

For a Tanned man with orange hair

A man with a brightest smike

The love of my life

Thirty Minutes passed and I saw the glimpse of his Orange Hair

My heart skipped a beat

I kept grinning like crazy

I held the cardboard up high for him to see

When he looks my way

He gave me a beaming smile

He run towards me

And he jump at me

And I catched him and the board fell to the ground

We look at each other niether one of us wants to looking away

That expresses all the longing and love we feel for each other

His hands starts playing my platinum blonde hair

We stay in each other's embrace

His arms atvthe back of neck and his legs crossed on my waist

My hands on his back

He suddenly close the distance of our face until our lips meet in a passionate kiss

We pull away from each other breathless

"I miss you so much tsumu" he said as our nose touch

"Me too Sho I miss ya so much"

March 7, 202x

Current Distance: 0.00 km

Hyogo, Japan ( Airport ) -- Hinata Shoyo in Atsumu Miya's arms

Current Time : 3:30 pm

We were walking hands intertwined

As we head out the airport

I tightened the grip on his hand

"You know Shoyou sometimes I don't mind that we're oceans apart you know why?"

I look at him

There is a confuse look on his face

"So you really don't miss me that much Tsumu"

And he pouted at me

"Of course I miss you Shou , It's just that I feel even though were miles apart You'll always come home to me"

I'm kinda embarassed that I said thag so I looked away

"Cause I'll always come home to you Tsumu eventhough it may take months and years I'll always always come home to you"

I look back at him and saw the man that I fell in love since I was in highschool

We smiled at each other understanding all the unsaid words between us

[world-of-socks]

harvest . o .

Oh boi. Welp, here we go lol.

Yellow diamond is by far the fictional character that I relate to the most. Allow me to explain (I’m gonna try to simplify cause I relate to her in a lot of ways lol and could go on for far to long):

Sense of humor: We both laugh, a lot. At dark humor especially.

Mannerisms: I conduct myself almost exactly like she does. Arms crossed, I sit the same way, walks with purpose. Not to mention the way she talks, like I swear I’ve even said the same things she has. Watching episodes with her in it are uncanny on occasions cause of how similar we conduct ourselves and how similarly we talk.

Nerds: we are both nerds. And dorks. We like learning and are perfectionists. We put pressure on ourselves to succeed as well.

Music: I like musicals and singing. I guess that also counts lol.

Emotional/relationships: I feel like I’ve gotten better with this sense SU and SUF but i still struggle with it. She and I both have issues with crying and empathy and such. I hate crying, it makes me feel small, weak. You can tell Yellow feels the same. SU taught me though that emotions don’t make you weak and feeling what you feel is important and a kind of strength.

Alright and then there’s the matter of her relationships with others. Mainly her relationship with pink. There was a time where the relationship she had with pink was quite similar to the one I had with my younger sibling. She looked up to me (still does) , but we were constantly arguing and since she was so young I would make her cry a lot. Niether of us were happy. But something about SU changed that. I think after I really recognized the toxicity of the relationship with my younger sister by watching how yellow interacted with her, I realized how that needed to change. And over time it has. We’ve grown much closer and argue way less. We’re both much happier now. So yeah. Just another reason I love SU.

Anyways sorry for that long explanation, but yes to answer your question I relate the most to Yellow Diamond and I miss seeing that big ol nerdy dork on tv.

[tcthinecwnself-a]

@indomitablespirits​ said: 💞 ((am I too late to get some best alebrije 'Chito for Héc? :D))

Send 💞 for me to describe 5 ways my muse says ‘I love you’ to yours.

“What if you wrote a new song?” Panchito asked with a tilt of his head. News of Ernesto’s rise to fame had spread throughout the Land of the Dead like a fire. Niether of them were pleased to hear Héctor’s songs being played in such a goofy, charlatan way. “You could write a new song in your traditional style. If - if you wrote a new song, I’m sure people down here would love it. And - and then you could sing it to Imelda and Coco when they come down here.”

“AAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!” Panchito screamed as loud as his lungs could manage as he ran at top speeds. Dirt kicked up from behind his heels as he looked back to see that Pepita was very, VERY close behind him. He quickly turned a corner, gripping it with his hand to help his momentum. It was fine. This was all part of the plan. This was the only way he could assure that Héctor was not being chased by the terrifying alebrije and could talk to Imedla in peace. And if it was for the good of Héctor, Panchito would do anything dangerous in a heartbeat. The crash that echoes out is of him being pinned flat against the floor by Pepita’s gigantic paws. She’s sitting on him now, much like a cat does with it’s pray. With the wind knocked clear out of him, Panchito scraps his hands against the brick path. But it looks like he would be here for a long while. 

Héctor’s leaning on him, his hand planted firmly on his shoulder. The two had been in good spirits all the way back to Stantytown, laughing and joking around. Sure, their latest escapade to cross the bridge did not go as planned, it never did, but the way their silly invention backfired was too silly not to laugh at. His chipped pained and Héctor’s leg aside, they were going to have quite the funny story to tell Cheech if he would humor them.

Leaving. Leaving, in a kind of way, meant “I love you”, right? It meant allowing the other person to move on. It meant giving them the space they needed to figure things out. It meant “I acknowledge your feelings” and “I understand”. Panchito might not have left as gracefully as one in the movies. Calmly leaving through the door and not looking back. He left in the wave of a hurricane of anger; the guitar bouncing against his back as he dashed through the streets. Leaving might’ve been the best thing he could do for Héctor. Leaving was his “I love you”

But nothing could mean “I love you” more than coming back. “I love you” was getting churros together for the first time in years. It was laughing together at a silly joke that made Imelda groan. It was being introduced to Coco and being included in the big group hug that followed. It was going to Ceci to patch up his suit and hat. “I love you” was getting his own little room in the large Rivera house; a small little room they had placed on the roof near where Pepita slept. It was receiving a hug almost every hour of every day. Panchito liked this “I love you” much more than the last.

[peggysousfan]

Agent Carter An Au Series

Here is chapter 10, it is the longest by far!! I’m getting close to crossing over the story with the show, so I may take a short break from writing to figure out how to get all the details in and continue this story. I hope y’all enjoy:)

Peggy's POV:

I feel as if I'm going out of my mind. I was never meant for motherhood... Stephanie was only born yesterday, and already I'm going mad. I don't understand how Mum had two children close in age! Micheal and I are only 3 years apart and yet the idea of having another anywhere in that proximity of time gives me a migraine. I can't do this, I just can't... Colleen left for work early this morning and I know Daniel is gone as well. Stephanie refuses to eat anything, no matter what I do she just won't latch! Shes been crying non stop all day. I've changed her nappy, given her a pacy, and tried to feed her; but nothing seems to calm her down! For hours I have been pacing around the apartment, bobbing her up and down, everything I can think of doesn't seem to work. I'll be damned if I ask Mrs' Keller for any assistance. I know Steph has, in fact, inherited part of the serum. I've tried swaddling her, but she somehow manages to get out of it. And when she smacks, it hurts. Actually hurts. Not enough to bruise, yet, but I don't want Mrs. Keller or anyone else I don't trust to touch my child. I give up....

Daniel's POV:

"Sousa! You're late."

"Thanks Thompson, I hadn't noticed." I crutch over to my desk and sit down. Man last night was rough...

"Yeah, sure you did. We all thought you lost your footing and didn't know how to get back up. But, I guess you kinda need a leg for that," Krzeminski laughs.  Low life dick...

"Is that right? I would have thought you were to hung up on some bimbo broad to come in at all.. or is that your wife?" I say, and instantly, he shuts up. But the rest of the office bursts into laughter. His wife spends more time on the streets than she does with him, we've all seen it.

"Damn, Sousa! What cat dragged you out of bed this morning!?" Thompson says. I ignore him and get to work. Thankfully, Krzeminski doesn't bother me the rest of the day. Hours later when I look at the clock, I see its time to go. "Sousa. Where are you going?" I grab my jacket, slip it on, and crutch to the elevator.

"Home."

"Yeah.. you've been leaving pretty early lately.. Got somethin' to share? Maybe you met a nice gal?" He says as he starts to walk with me.

"And why the hell would I tell you anything, Thompson?"

"Hey, I'm just asking. Normally you stay as late as possible. But here lately you've been leaving at 7 O' clock on the dot. Everyday, for the past week."

"Great observation skills agent. Are you gonna tell me what I had for breakfast next?" He laughs and I start to walk away.

"I'm being serious, Sousa. What changed?"

"Simple. I have a life. Maybe you should get one." And with that, I leave. I wonder how Peggy's doing with Stephanie...

Peggy's POV:

I fear I may be doing something wrong. How can she still not latch on? What do I do? I think I might actually need Mrs. Keller's help... I pick Steph up again and hear a knock at the door. Did Colleen forget her key again? I walk to the door and unlock it. When I open it, its Daniel. Oh thank God!

"Daniel!" I sigh in relief.

"Hey, I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing..." He looks down at her and shes still fussing.

"I'm going insane, I'm afraid." I step back and let him in. "I-I-I've tried everything I can possibly think of and nothings working! I've tried feeding her numerous time and she won't take. She doesn't seem to be latching at all! I've changed her nappy, I-Ive given her  a p-pacy.. I- I walked around bouncing her! I-I-I just don't know Daniel I don't-"

"Peggy! Hey, calm down."  Its then I noticed how wet my cheeks are. "She hasn't eaten anything today?"

"No!" I exasperate.

"Okay, heres what we'll do." He places a hand on my shoulder and I look at him. "First I need you to take a deep breath-"

"Oh really Daniel! I-"

"Peg, you can't help her and take care of her if you don't take care of yourself. Please. I need you to take a deep breath, and let it out." I look him in the eye, and see worry, nothing but worry; because of me. Ugh... I'm horrible. I nod my head and do as he asks, but I can't stop the tears as Stephanie wails. "Here, may I?" I open my eyes and notice him gesturing to the baby , and I gratefully oblige. He takes her to the kitchen and bounces her around, whispering sweet little things too her. I can't hear it all, only small words.. Words like "Sweet, anjo?, sunshine, and linda? What?  He sets his crutch against the sink,takes a clean cloth, and rinses it under the tap.

"Daniel? What are you doing?" I step closer and see Steph sucking on the cloth.

"All the crying shes doing will make her dehydrated. Its best to let her suck on this and get hydrated while you take a minute to yourself and relax."

"What did I do to deserve you?" Before I even think about it, it slips out of my mouth. Either he doesn't notice or ignores the meaning behind it.

"I'm just here to help, Peggy. You can do this, you just... need another hand to guide you through it."

"And that hand being yours, I hope." Now he looks at me. Damn. Why did I just say that? He laughs lightly.

"I don't know a whole lot, just enough to help. I don't have any of my own, so... I can't really give you the best advice." He soaks the cloth again and poppet keeps drinking.

"Do you want any of your own? I've never heard you speak of it before."

"Uh...yeah, maybe..."

"Well that doesn't sound so certain." I laugh. He looks at me with those deep brown eyes, and smiles.

"I mean I do, one day. But... thats not gonna be for a while."

"How do you know that?" He looks away from me and brings Stephanie to his chest. Shes starting to calm down.

"Lets just say I do..."

"Daniel? How do you know for certain?" His demeanor changes and his shoulders start to slump. Somethings upsetting him. "You know you can tell me, Daniel. I won't reprimand you for it." He finally looks at me, then glances back at Steph.

"Its just... gonna take some time."

"Time for..?"

"You know, time."

"Daniel." He sighs and and turns towards me.

"Lets just say... Girls aren't exactly lining up to be with a crip."

"I beg your pardon!" I shout, Daniel looks at me, shocked. "Why on earth would you say a thing like that?"

"I thought you said you wouldn't reprimand me?"

"Well I-.... damn what I said. Daniel... You shouldn't say that about yourself. You are not-" I sigh in frustration. "Please. Never talk about yourself like that again."

"Yes, ma'am," He laughs sadly. "Its just, they can't see past the crutch, Peg."

"Any woman would be lucky to have you, and those that can't see passed that symbol of bravery, then they're damned fools." I say boldly. Once again our eyes lock together, and seems like everything around us has stopped.

"Thanks, Peggy."

"I mean it, Daniel. What happened to you...Your injury... It doesn't define you. Not in that way. You sacrificed so much for your country; blood, sweat, tears... and your leg. But you shouldn't let that and what others think stand in your way. Believe it or not, you came back more whole than most soldiers, Daniel. You are an amazing person and a kind man. You deserve better than what others say, but they're just words. You know the full story, they don't. Know your value, Daniel. I know I do..." I didn't mean to make a speech, but I can't stand how down hearted he felt. The way people treat injured soldiers is bloody ridiculous; especially when they are as kind as Daniel. He looks up at me, as if I've grown a second head. Maybe, I've over stepped, but he needs to know hes worth more than the world gives him. Before he can say anything, the door opens.

"Hey, Peggy! I got some- oh, Daniel. Hi."

"Uh- hey!" Stephanie starts to fuss again, so Daniel re-soaks the rag.

"So, I got dinner, but if you two already ate thats okay."

"Oh, no we haven't, or well.I-I haven't ." I say. Since  Colleen has taken extra shirts to pay my half of the rent, and because of that I use to eat alone. But before poppet was born, Daniel and I had ate many dinners together; and Colleen knew this.

"Well I got some from food from The Automate, enough for two,though. Not three."

"Thats ok, I'm fine." Daniel says while rocking the baby.

"Have you eaten already?" Colleen asks as she sets down the bags.

"Uh, no, but its fine. I can eat later." I look at Colleen, and she looks at me. She's going to go get Daniel some supper, I already know it.

"I'll be right back." And with that she leaves.

"Wheres she going?" Daniel asks, thoroughly confused.I laugh.

"She went to get more food."

"What? She didn't have to do that."

"Colleen is Colleen. Thats really all I can say. You nor I could talk her out of it if we wanted to." We both laugh and Stephanie begins to fuss again.

"Peg? Do you..uh.. want to try and feed her? I'll leave, of course, just.. uh, do you want to try it?"

"I, uhm... I-I-can try but...She won't latch, Daniel." I walk over to Daniel and he tries to hand her to me. Its a bit of awkward shuffling and our hands graze each others several times; each time I feel a spark. "Sorry" We both say.

"I'll, uh, go." "But, Daniel..." He stops mid walk. "You don't have to leave, what about your dinner?"

"I can come back, but... I should give you some privacy to... you know." I look down at the baby and then at Daniel. Ugh, why must this be so difficult.

"Or you could simply turn away..." No, no no no. I hope I didn't say what I think I did. Damn, I did. The shock on his face is unmistakable, and I'm sure, I'm the same. "We-well that is, uhm, i-if you don't mind staying." Now I'm rambling... Instead of saying anything in return, his face turns a bright red, al the way to the tip of his ears. For a few moments, niether of us move; until the baby starts to cry. He turns around and distracts himself with a newspaper while I open my dress and try to feed Stephanie. Oh what was I thinking!? 'Or you could simply turn around'!?? God Peggy, what is wrong with you...

"Is she eating?" Bloody hell, I forgot he was here.

"Ugh, No! I don't know what I'm doing wrong." Steph tries to feed, but she can't find it. I try to guide her but she keeps squirming around and getting frustrated.

"Is she swaddled? If she not that might help, and then hold her really close and guide her, that way she can try and eat. That and you staying calm." I look for a blanket to swaddle her in, but I can't find one.

"Daniel? I can't find her blanket."

"Uhh.." He starts to search and finds it."Found it!"

"Good, could you bring it to me?" I hear him walk towards me and I cover myself up. "Thank you." He doesn't look at me, but he nods and walks back away. I'm not sure whats more awkward; this moment or when I invited myself over to eat with him for the first time. No its now, defiantly now. I swaddle Stephanie, take a deep breath, and try to feed her. It takes a few minutes, but she finally starts to get it. "Oh thanks God!"

"Shes eating?"

"Finally. It only took her all day..." We both laugh and Steph coos. After shes finished, I button my dress,and burp her. "You can turn around now." And he does. Now everything feels at peace, almost normal again.  I offer her to Daniel, and she starts to giggle. I've never seen him smile so brightly. "I fear shes put you under her spell." He laughs.

"Thats okay, I don't mind." After a few minutes of just being relaxed and enjoying Steph, Colleen comes home. We all sit around and eat dinner, Daniel continues to hold the baby, but I don't mind. Hes good with her. She likes him, and so do I... Theres no one I trust more with my daughter than Daniel Sousa.

[darklingichor]

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell Ramble Fest Part 5. *Spoilers*

Day 5: finished it. Okay, lots of things. Rowell's writing is absolutely addictive, I would have finished it faster if it weren't for my job and bills and stuff. Stupid responsiblites keeping me from reading.

I think I'll take each plot thread and follow it to the end.

With Levi, I sort of expected him to be Reagan’s brother, possibly twin (just by the way she reacted to the identical twin thing). Anyway, what college class allows you to read and test on The Outsiders? Can I borrow anyone’s time machine and go take it? I literally (and I actually mean literally) read that book twenty times in a row when I was fifteen. I wrung every bit of context, subtext, and not-even-in-the-text out of it. I felt like I knew Johnny and Ponyboy better than I knew some of my own family members. My best friend and I also took turns reading it out loud to each other (we did this with a lot of books, actually). I could have taken that test in about five minutes and would have been the easiest A I ever got!

Anyway, can I just say that I love the fact that Cath sees audio books as reading? Some people don’t and it annoys me to no end.

So I do like the Cath/Levi pairing, but what is it about romance in fiction? One half of the pairing doesn’t answer texts so the other half makes out with someone else? Does this happen in real life? I’m aro ace, this is completely foreign to me. I mean, I understand the concept of demiromantic and demisexual. Someone you feel connected with makes you want to do the romance or  physical thing with them. But then you wouldn’t just kiss someone else because you didn’t hear from the special someone for a couple of hours, right? How does that connection happen in the brain? Not judging just wondering about something that makes no sense to me, personally.

It was sort of interesting how the relationship progressed. I get why she was so reluctant to really go there. Cath is the embodiment of fool me once, you will not get a twice.

I like that Levi really is a nice guy. Not a guy who plays nice and then expects something because of it. He legitimately felt horrible for the kiss with the other girl.

Also often, in the stuff I watched growing up, the love interest had to "look past" the geeky stuff that the main character liked. It is cool that Levi likes Cath for everything that she is, including the stuff that Wren tries to downplay. Same goes for Cath liking Levi. Niether one of them change to make themselves "better" for the other. That seems more real to me.

I like the slight struggle they had with Reagan being Levi's ex and how they all moved passed it. The only thing I can't figure out of I like is how once the relationship solidified, Cath's anxiety seems to have, if not disappeared, then greatly reduced.

I can't figure out if that's because she had more in the way of support in the form of Wren, Levi, and Reagan, more confidence because of the reactions she got to both forms of her writting, less stress because her dad had more support from her grandmother, and all of the other things that came together for her... Or the "Got boy now, what is mental illness?" Trope.

I would say it's the former because it would make sense, but we spend so much time in Cath's head and see her struggle and overcome, in the little daily battles that are always there even with changes made in the form of healthy coping mechinisms, medication or counseling. And suddenly it just drops away... I don't know, that bugged me.

Speaking of struggles

Arthur’s episode was handled really well, and I’m completely on Cath’s side. Family comes first. I don’t care if they are uncouncious, I wouldn’t be able to consentrate on a final if a close family member were in the hospital and I wasn’t there.

The part of my brain ruled by the anxiety goblin completely agrees with Cath wanting to leave the school. The part of me that is closer related to the turtle than it should be. “This is scary, uncomfortable, painful, ect. Time to hide.”

The more reasonable part sort of agrees with her when she said she didn’t choose the school, Wren did. Why stay at a school that you didn’t want to attend in the first place? I also understand the logic behind wanting to stay home to take care of her dad. Is ot the eighteen year old kid's job to take care of the parent? Not really, but what do you do when someone you love needs help?

The more rational part also says: You have a scholarship? Stay put, kid, loans blow!

During this whole thing? Wren is still a dick. The You and dad are crazy because you let yourselves be crazy argument...

"Got a broken leg? Walk it of wussy!"

Now, is that to say that Cath's way of letting her anxiety cope with her rather than the other way around is right?

No.

But it's a lot more complicated than "Just don't let it bother you." Bitch, if she could do that she wouldn't have anxiety now would she?

I don't know a lot about bipolar but I know enough to say with confidence, that just willing the chemicals in your brain to behave is not going to cut it.

So Wren's alcohol poisoning. Can I say that I loved how it was handled? The writing got around every tired thing that can happen coming out 0f a plot element like that.

Wren and Cath did reconcile, but Cath didn't cut her a lot of slack and was matter of fact about how stupid Wren's behavior had been. Her dad didn't do the whole "I'm just glad you're okay" thing, he laid down the law. One of my favorite lines from Arthur was when he told Wren that she had to go to AA meetings.

"I'm not an alcoholic."

"Good. It's not contagious. You're going to meetings.”

I honestly wouldn't mind a story from Wren's perective over the course of this year. It would be interesting to see her partying, her relationship with her boyfriend and her thought process while she let some of her personality blaze through while hiding others.

After she and Cath make up it becomes clear that she thought that she couldn't go to parties, make new friends, have new experiences and be close with her sister and still openly love nerdy things.

Professor Piper, writing, Laura, and Simon Snow.

I get the feeling that Professor Piper is suppose to be subverting the Mary Sue stereotype. When Cath first starts the class she is in awe of this teacher. Piper is wise, talented and compassionate. She's perfect. So when she first talks down fan ficton, I thought, well if the story were to follow the Mary Sue, Cath would "realize" her folly and abandon Carry On, Simon. I knew that wasn't going to happen.

The more she bad mouths fan fiction, the more she just... Acts like nothing touches her, I thought: She's the Mary Sue... But she's almost the villain (and almost is important here because she doesn't continue down that path). I mean, she can do whatever she wants with her students' grades? What university is this? Professors have to get their grades submitted by a deadline. She couldn't hold Cath's grade just cause she felt like it. She'd have to submit an incomplete and I'm pretty sure that it would have to be made up long before it actually was.

She calls fan fic "Stillborn" as if the only ultimate reason to write is to make a living off of it, that was bitchy. She likely would have been surprised that a good number of her students probably dabble in it, because I haven't met many people who write (post Harry Potter) who didn't read some fanfic, if not write it, and that's just one fandom Yes, it is a wonderful thing to make your living doing something you love,  However, Cath is also right, you can write like some people knit or scrapbook. You can do something you love simply for the love of it.

Further more and most importantly, no writting is "stillborn" you put effort into it, it lives, if only for you.

Now, Cath is trying to not write her final project because she's scared, she's afraid that she doesn't have it in her to do with her own characters what she does so well with Baz and Simon. That doean't mean her reasoning isn't sound, it's just not sound for her.

Nick... I don't have a lot to say about Nick. I knew he was going to end up being a tool, and he was.

Same goes for the Laura thing. I agree with Cath, you don't get to walk out of being a parent and walk back in to be a fair weather friend.

Simon Snow. As a framing device first the "original" books and then Carry On, Simon was very effective. I had a hard time listening to many of them though because of the narration. Don't know why they had the narrator switch when we were in Cath's story.

Having read Carry On before Fangirl, it was interesting to see the differences between the stories. And it simaltiously gave and took away hope for the Anyway the Wind Blows.

That fantastic part where Wren tells Cath that she can't kill off Baz, that she'd always said that Baz deserved a happy ending because of everything canon and all the fics they'd written and read, had put him through.

I thought: That bodes well for Baz in the next one.

But Wren also says that Cath has to give him a happy ending because Gemma T. Leslie never will.

Then I thought: Well shit, that doesn't, does it?

And all of this means nothing, really. Carry On and Wayward Son exist outside both this book and the fictional series...

Gah! This universe is like a Russian nesting doll crossed with a rublix cube!

The little bits we get of Cath's final project were lovely, and yes, painful. Writing something personal is painful but, but cathartic a lot of the time.

I had a lot of emotions reading this book and while I like Carry On more, I think Fangirl is fantasic. Just from the two books I've read, Rainbow Rowell's speciality is to take expectations and expertly either defy them or bring them to fuition in a way that is more satisfying than what the reader might be expecting. This means I might break from my escapist reading trend a bit more often.

[ciscoatthedisco]

one sentence prompt: "Are you asking me out?"

Caitlin sat at the table for two, alone.

She had met a guy on tinder and set up a date with him at a beautiful Italian restaurant in downtown Central City.

Her dress sparkled under the candlelight.

“More to drink, miss?” a waiter came by with a bottle of Rosé.

“No, thank you.” she nodded to him.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he returned the nod and left.

Even though Caitlin had been sitting at the table for-

She checked her watch.

three and a half hours, she and the waiter had an understanding as to why she had only ordered a drink.

He probably feels bad for me, she thought.

She didn’t know when to call time of death and declare that she had been stood up.

I’ll just message him, she thought.

She opened up the app and went to her messages.

Many thoughts had crossed her mind as to why he hadn’t shown up on time.

They were in Central City. Superheros and Metavillians everywhere.

But not once would she have come up with the actual scenario.

He had blocked her.

Not with a word of explanation.

Not with a warning to not show up for dinner and waste her time.

Not with a, “Hey, maybe don’t buy a $30 bottle of Rosé for the table, since I’m standing you up.”

She had been stood up.

He eyes welled up with tears.

This was her first time getting back out there since all the drama in her love life- and her life- in the past 2 years.

And she was stood up by some douche on tinder that wasn't even that cute.

She matched him because they had similar interests. She has always been a personality prioritized over good looks person when it came to her romance life.

“Levi,” she waved the waiter over.

“Yes, miss?” he came over to her table in seconds flat.

“I’m ready for the check, please” she gave a polite smile as best she could.

“Right away, miss,” he got the check and quickly returned.

“Here you are, miss. Sorry your night didn’t go as planned.” he returned the polite smile she had given earlier and left.

She paid the check in an even amount of cash, left a generous tip for Levi and left in a hurry. She didn't want to make a scene and embarrass herself.

When she made it outside she remembered she took the bus and sat down at the stop. Checking the time, she realized she had missed the bus and there wouldn't be one for another hour. It was much too cold to sit at the bus stop for another hour, even with Frost’s powers, Caitlin had trouble with cold. Her fingers would stiffen and her knees would ache. Her cheeks would get windburned, and her lips would chap.

I’ll just call a cab, she thought.

She looked in her wallet, making sure she had enough with her to pair the fare, only to find that she had no cash left.

She looked to find her debit card to find that it wasn’t there. She started to panic until she remembered that she took it out at home to buy something online and left it on her desk, next to her laptop.

She would have taken out more cash for the week, but she was told by tinder douche that dinner was “his treat”

It was too far to walk home, so she took out her phone knowing there was only one thing to do.

“Hello?”

Caitlin just cried when she heard Cisco’s voice on the other end.

“Caitlin? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Cisco’s voice came through the phone and met her ear, making her feel less alone. It warmed her insides to hear him speak to her with concern.

“Can you pick me up? The bus won’t come around for another hour and I don’t have money for a cab.” her voice broke.

“Where are you? I’ll breach to you.”

“No, you don’t have to. Your powers are giving you trouble. I don’t want to ask you to do that.”

“Caitlin, it’s alright. I’m not going to drive and make you wait. The city is too dangerous and it’s cold out. I promise I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” she almost whispered.

“Now, tell me where you are.” 

“I’m at the bus stop down the corner from Valentino’s in downtown.”

Before she could say anything else, a breach opened next to her.

Cisco popped out of it and his face immediatly flooded with concern.

Caitlin got up from the bench and ran to him. He took her into his arms and breached them back to his appartment.

“Sorry, auto pilot. Do you want to go home?”

“Not unless you don’t want me here,” she replied, wishing he hadn’t let go of her.

“No, you know you’re always welcome here.” he placed a hand on her back.

“Thank you.”

“Come on,” he lead her to the couch and sat her down with him.

“What happened?”

“I got stood up,” she sniffled.

Cisco’s heart….almost sunk? He didn’t know if it was because he was hurt on Caitlin’s behalf, or hurt because she didn’t tell him she was dating again.

“I didn’t know you had a date,” he tried not to sound like that was all he cared about, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he wished she had told him.

“It was just a stupid tinder date with a stupid tinder guy. I waited three and a half hours for him.”

“Three and a half hours?!” Cisco was angry. He pulled a tissue from a box on the coffee table and wiped her tears with it.

“And I went to message him and see what was up and he had blocked me,”

“Blocked you?!” now he was furious.

“No explanation, just blocked me and didn’t show up.”

“You don’t deserve this, Caitlin, I am so sorry.” he took her into his arms and held her close.

Caitlin’s heart was suddenly more at ease. Cisco was the warmth she craved, and the happiness she longed for.

She wished their relationship was more than this.

For years, she’s longed for him to be the one she did her makeup and put on sparkly dresses to see.

She longed for him to be her home.

But he already was her home.

He just didn’t know it yet

What she didn’t know was he longed for the nights they spent together to be romantic.

Their platonic pajama parties and movie marathons would instead be dates where everything was the same, but somehow different.

He could kiss her on the lips and not worry about it ruining their friendship.

He could hold her hand as long as she would let him, not just to comfort her.

He could snuggle with her, not just because it was comfortable like they did now. He could cuddle with her because he loved her and she loved him back.

He longed for her to know that she was his home.

But niether of them were counting on anything to change.

Her tear stained face was snuggled into his chest, his face was pressed to the top of her head, and it just felt right.

She tried to hide the fact that she was smelling the smell of him that comforted her so much, while he was trying to hide the fact that he was taking in the smell of her green apple conditioner that he thought about for a good 5 minutes after he hugged her.

“Maybe I’m just undateable.” she broke the silence.

“What? You are not undateable, Caitlin, come on.” he ran his fingers through her hair.

“It sure feels like I am. Relationship fail after relationship fail.”

“Hey, don’t let the tinder douche make you feel undateable. Any guy in the whole world would be the luckiest guy alive if he got to date you. Hell, I’d kill for a date with Caitlin snow,”

There was a moment of silence, both of them unable to comprehend what Cisco had just said.

“Are you asking me out?“ she spoke up and cut the tension a bit.

There was a beat of silence.

“Is that inappropriate at this time?” he tried to joke.

“Are you asking me out?“ she asked again.

“If I was asking you out,” he paused. “Would you want to go out..with me?”

“To tell you the truth,” she paused, making his heart stop for a second. “I’ve been wanting to for a while.”

“Really?” he was almost shocked.

“Why wouldn’t I want to go on a date with a gentleman like you? especially after getting stood up by tinder douche.” she laughed, sitting up and meeting his eyes.

“Well, what are you doing tonight?” He winked at her.

“Well, I was going to watch movies with my best friend, eat ice cream and cry. But, for you? I guess I could clear my schedule.” she winked back, making Cisco laugh.

He smiled at her, scrunching his nose up the way he does. That was always made Caitlin’s heart flutter, and her stomach do backflips.

They had decided to just get some big belly burger delivered to the apartment. They had mutually agreed that they didn’t need a fancy date. Cisco got some pajamas out of his drawer for her so she could get out of her fancy dress. They ate and talked and laughed.

They were eachother’s home.

“Now, you know, since this is a date,” Cisco swallowed his last bite. “I’m going to ask for a goodnight kiss.”

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t” she laughed.

Cisco smiled back at her.

“You know, I hate to jump ahead, but,” she paused.

“What is it?”

“I’d kinda like to make these a regular thing. If you want to.” she was suddenly nervous.

“Like,” he paused, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Like they ever had very many. “You wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend? Like, regular dates, ship names, the whole nine yards?”

His response almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. It didn’t sound like this was something he wanted right away.

“Is that something you want?” she didn’t want to screw things up. She was all he really had, even if they never went on a date again.

“Yeah, I’d actually really like that.” he all but giggled.

“Oh, good” she almost giggled herself.

“You make me really happy, Caitlin.”

“I’m glad I’m finally home.” she smiled.

“My home is your home.”

“You’re my home.” she looked into his eyes.

“And you’re mine.”

[maylovexhs]

A Case of Serendipity(H.S) - Chapter 9

Author’s Note:

Masterlist

A Case of Serendipity Masterlist

Bringggggg. Brinnggggg.

I heard my phone go off.

“Mmm” I hummed.

I turned around in bed, refusing to open my eyes yet.

I reached for my phone that I usually had on my left bedside table. I felt nothing there. There was only empty space. I turned back around in bed, opening my eyes slowly.

This wasn’t my room.

My room didn’t have clothes throw down onto the ground. Neither did it have a PlayStation and a small tv screen. This was Michael’s room.

My phone continued to ring. I got up  from the bed, looking for the source of the ringing that now seemed as a drilling noise to me. It was coming from my bag that was on the floor. I picked it up, taking my phone out. Chloe was calling. I declined her call.

My lockscreen read 8:43. Saturday, March 3rd. Saturday. Thank god it’s Saturday. I looked down at myself. I was dressed in a long blue shirt that extended down to my mid thighs. I presumed it was Michael’s. God, I hope I wasn’t too drunk last night for him to help me change. Or worse have sex with him.

I noticed my jacket and last night’s dress laid on the bed’s edge along with my bra. I need to change and get out of here. I locked Michael’s door before changing. I was sure about to get looks from strangers on the bus thinking I was doing the walk of shame. I looked around Michael’s room for my shoes. I couldn’t find them. They probably were in the hallway. I unlocked the door, tip toeing outside the room.

Please let Anthony and Lucas be asleep still. My prayers were half answered. I walked on Michael and Lucas in the living room.

“Hey, Daph!” Lucas greeted me.

“Morning” I said back to the both of them. “I should get back home”

“That fast?” Michael asked me. “You didn’t even have breakfast yet?”

“Yeah. I don’t want Alyssa to think I’m dead or anything” I explained.

“You can call her” Lucas said. “I wanted to go out for breakfast. Lucas wants to tag along too”

“You guys don’t have to do that” I said. “I crashed by already so-“

“Daph” Lucas interrupted me. “It’s breakfast. You can’t fight over breakfast”

I couldn’t fight them. The more I gave them reasons not to, the more persuasive they were getting.

“Alright then” I said. “Where?”

*ALYSSA’S POV*

“So, when I’m gonna take you out?” Ray asked me over the phone.

I rolled my eyes at him. This is the fourth time he called me this morning asking me out and each time I said no. I was starting to think Ray was brain dead since he wasn’t getting the hint.

“Excuse me? Ray, you’re a typical fuckboy. The only thing you’re good for is sex” I pointed out to him.

“Oh come on, baby” Ray pleaded with me. “You know you wanna go out with me”

“No, I don’t” I said, starting to pick the dirt under my nails out.

“Let me show you what I have for you Alys”

“Alys?” I asked, offended. “It’s Alyssa. Always bee-“

I heard a knocking on the apartment door. Must be Alyssa. She texted she would be back soon.

“Ray, I gotta go. Daphne’s back” I hung up on the call.

I got up from the couch and walked to the door. I looked through the peephole. You got to be fucking kidding me. Why was Harry Styles standing outside my apartment door? I was going to kill Daphne if she invited him here.

I sighed, opening the door. I was not interested in talking or being in the same room as somebody like him. Daphne was naive to. I didn’t trust celebrities and how they take advantage of people.

“Hi! Yeh must be Alyssa” Harry said in a cheery voice. “We h’aven’t met yet”

“I didn’t want to” I stated, crossing my arms.

Harry obviously took offense. He stepped back.

“Oh, s’orry” He apologized. “Daph mentioned yeh as. .”

“Blunt? Pessimistic? Scary?” I asked, trying to finish his words.

“Yeah. . . Is Daphne here?” He asked me. “Chloe said she might”

“No, she isn’t” I answered. “I would understand why”

“I came to apologize” Harry explained. “Can I come in?”

Apologize? I knew he would do something wrong. Maybe I should leave him all alone so Daphne could deal with him by herself.

“You can wait in her room” I said. “I was about to leave anyways”

I walked back into the apartment, leaving the door open for Harry to come in.

“Thanks” I heard him say behind me.

I grabbed my boots, putting them on. I noticed Harry looking around the apartment. I had no idea why he had such an interest in Daphne or a place like this.

“Don’t you have a concert to do or a place to be?” I asked him.

“Not now” He answered, looking at the picture frames that showed Daphne and me. “In a week, I h’ave to”

“Does Daphne know that you have to?” I asked him, heading to the coat rack.

“No, she doesn’t” Harry answered. “I wanted to talk to her before I left”

I smirked, putting my coat on. Daphne was totally naive. I took my bag and phone before walking to the door.

“Well, good luck” I wished him, opening the door. “Lock the door behind me”

I closed the door behind me quickly, not hearing a response from Harry. Daphne needs to sort out the people in her life right away.

*HARRY’S POV*

I wasn’t going to lie. She had a small room. It’s length was bigger than its width. I was almost certain it was half the size of her apartment living room. I couldn’t complain either. I knew apartments these days were hard to come by. It seemed to me the size didn’t bother Daphne or Alyssa. If anything, by the pictures and objects they had on display made it clear they cared about personality more. I respected that.

The ukulele that stood against their living room’s wall proved they were fun loving. The amount hanging pictures of their families and friends showed how precious relationships were to them. The psychology and biography books struck that they were rich in thought. Their bedrooms exuded hidden gems of their personalities. I didn’t dare to set foot in Alyssa’s room. I was sure not following her orders of waiting in Daphne’s room would push her to be against me more. It was a risk I couldn’t take.

By the look of it at first glance, Daphne’s bedroom did seem comfortable. It was hard not to notice the bears on her bed. Each one looked a bit ruffled and worn out. If they were from childhood, I understood why she kept them. The dangling lights and paper circular added a flair to the room. The wide picture of the Beatles that sat on her headboard showed her true interest and genre of music. The CD player that sat on her bedside table along with the cds stacked next to the table on the floor proved it. CDs of Queen, Lesley Gore and Lorde were a sample of it. The tea mug that was actually contained left over hot chocolate in it sat on her table.

However, the most hidden gem of her room was the pictures that were pinned to the walls. They weren’t recent. All of them had the same two people in it; a young child and a father. I assumed they were pictures of Daphne and her father, which she never told me about before. None of the photos surpassed the younger years. The photos Daphne had of herself up of her teenage and adult years didn’t include her father in it. I wasn’t going to ask what happened between her father and her since it wasn’t my place yet I suspected something terrible happened to him.

I looked away from the photos and to the door when heard an opening of the apartment door. Daphne. It must be her. The way Alyssa acted towards me suggested it wasn’t her. It had to be Daphne.

I heard some pills rattling from afar. I was hesitant to walk out the bedroom door. I didn’t want to scare Daphne. Neither did I want to give her another reason to be upset with me. I stood still when I heard the sound of footsteps become louder. Suddenly, it stopped. The door then was opened, revealing Daphne.

I smiled. I was right. I wanted to hug her but she stepped back away from me. She looked like she seen a ghost. A look I was familiar with when fans saw me on the street. Daphne crossed her arms at me, breathing heavily.

“H . . .” She said in a shaky voice. “What are you doing here?”

*DAPHNE’S POV*

I was speechless. Harry was here. In my room. In my apartment that I didn’t give him the address or permission to come into.

I shouldn’t have came back. I shouldn’t have opened my bedroom door. I should have left when I saw the door was a creak open. I always closed my door and Alyssa would never dare to go into my bedroom as I would never dare to go in hers. I can’t believe she actually let him in. I would rather have a stranger in my room than Harry.

I stepped back from Harry. I crossed my arms

“H . . .” I said, feeling shaky. “What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I was waiting” He said, taking a few steps closer to me. “Alyssa let me’h in”

“I could tell” I said. “How- how did you find me?”

“Chloe told me’h” He said, referring to my apartment address.

“Of course” I said under my breath.

I let my arms fall to my sides. The fact I was still wearing a short dress from last night didn’t make the situation better.

Chloe had no right to give him my address. Niether did he have the right to be here, especially after what he done. Now he’s gonna apologize and act like he actually cares for me? I’m not falling for that again.

“Yeh have a nice room” Harry said. “I like the quote on the wall” He pointed to the words.

“We only breathe for so long” I stated the words from my memory. “We can’t be living for another person”

“Chloe told me’h what happened at the party too” He said. “I wanted to apologize”

“Don’t” I protested, stepping back. “I don’t and can’t believe anything from you right now”

Harry looked down at his shoes. He walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge of it.

“Can yeh listen then?” He asked, looking to me. “Doesn’t feel right not to”

My head told me not to. My instincts differed. Overall, I wanted to get rid of him and if I had to listen to him, I guessed had to.

I walked over and sat on the bed next to Harry. I moved a bit further away from him. I looked down at my shoes, refusing to give him any attention as he began to speak. I could feel his eyes on me.

“Jeff thou’ght it was a good idea if we didn’t use someone like me’h for a stunt” Harry started to say.

“Someone famous?” I asked, still not looking at him.

“Yeah” Harry said.

“So, you thought . . .” I took a pause before I speaking again. “That someone who’s known for being charitable and kind would help your reputation”

“I didn’t want to-“

“Until Jeff convinced you?” I asked, cutting him off as I raised my head up to him.

His eyes met mine. His green ones were full of sympathy. Mines were of rage and hurt.

“It didn’t seem Jeff convinced you” I stated. “It seemed like you both don’t have any morals”

“Daph,” Harry called me.

“Don’t call me Daph!” I said standing up from my bed. “People who are my friends call me Daph. What you did does not make you a friend. It makes you a coward and manipulative. Fake!”

Harry remained silent. I wasn’t shocked. Someone who hated not being liked sure didn’t like confrontation either. I blamed myself more than him. He was living in his own bubble in his world. He had become immune to his world. Completely immune that he no longer was aware of the consequences his world had on ordinary people like me.

“It’s my fault really” I said. “I chose to believe you when I knew where you came from. Everyone was right. All people ever do like you is lie. Lie to strangers. Lie to your friends. Family. To yourself”

After a moment, Harry stood up from my bed. He took one single step towards me before speaking. I didn’t move a flinch.

“’M not like those people” Harry said. “Daphne, pl’ease”

“I can’t believe that” I said. “Please.  Just get out”

I left my bedroom and walked toward the apartment door. I heard Harry’s footsteps behind me. I opened the door for him to leave.

Harry was about to step out of my apartment when he turned his head to me. If he thought giving me sad guilty eyes would grant him forgiveness from me, he was wrong.

“I’ll miss yeh” Harry told me.

I looked down, nodding.

“Just leave please” I said. “I can’t handle another lie from you”

Harry nodded before stepping out of my apartment. I closed the door and locked it. I took a deep sigh.

I need to stop going to that cafe. I never want to see him again.

“I’ll see you outside?” Michael asked me.

“Yeah” I said to him.

He kissed my forehead before leaving me alone in the cubicles. I put on my spring jacket and carried my bag. I began to walk out the building but stopped once I heard someone call my name.

“Daphne?” I heard a woman’s voice call me.

I looked to a brunette. She had an slight blonde streaks at the end of her hair. Her blue eyes were immediately noticeable.

“Yeah?” I asked her. “Who are you?”

“I’m Glenne” She introduced herself to me. “I’m a friend of Harry”

I squinted my eyes at her. If she was Harry’s friend, I didn’t want to get involved with her.

“A friend of Harry?” I asked her, being suspicious. “I’m not a friend of him anymore. So, please leave me alone.”

I turned away from her and started to walk away.

“He wanted me to give you this” She said. “It’s an explanation”

I stopped walking. I turned towards her.

An explanation? I’m pretty sure Harry understood I didn’t want any explanation from him after I threw him out of my apartment.

“What did you say?” I asked, walking up to her.

“He just told me to give it. It looks like one of the pages of his journal” Glenne said, holding a few papers in her hand.

“Journal?” I asked her.

Harry told me he had a journal. He also told me it was one of his prized possessions.

“Yeah. He’s a very private guy” Glenne said. “He asked that I would give it to you before he left for tour”

“He’s leaving?” I asked her.

Harry didn’t mentioned he was leaving or that he had a tour to go on.

“Yeah. Here” She said holding out the papers for me to take.

I was hesitant to take it first, since I didn’t want to hear from Harry at all. Yet, my intuition told me to.

I took the papers from her, looking down at the papers. Glenne wasn’t joking. It was Harry’s handwriting for sure. I remember his handwriting from the card he sent me with the flowers from weeks ago. He actually wrote an explanation for me.

“You sound special to him” Glenne said. “He never lets anyone read his journal”

“Thanks” I said, despite not knowing if that was a compliment or not.

“Welcome” She said. “I have to go. I hope I’ll see you again. Bye”

Glenne walked away, leaving. I stared at the papers, debating if I should read them or not. Harry really didn’t explain much to me when he came to my apartment and I still had questions. I could read it quickly. I’m sure Michael wouldn’t mind waiting a few minutes for me. I sat down in the office’s lounge. I began to read the papers.

Feb 6th 2018

I think I just became best friends with Daphne. The coffee shop girl.

The coffee shop girl. I wondered if he called me that when I didn’t give out my name to him in the beginning. It’s cute nickname I’ll have to admit.

I continued to read.

I think she knows who I completely am already. I know it’s impossible. I don’t know who I myself am. I feel like she understands me though. It takes a long time to feel like someone genuinely understands me and those who do are my best friends. Aside from the coffee shop, I’ve been out with Daphne about three times by now. Jeff said I shouldn’t trust her but I think she’s worthy of my trust. She may come off a bit silly and strange at first but she’s more than that. She’s down to earth. Curious. Strong willed. Honest. Tactful. Optimistic of everyone. She’s considerate. Resolute. I can say being with her I feel safe. I feel complete with her. Something I always craved. Feeling complete.

I think she knows that I have the need to feel complete. She pointed to it today. She said I change and act like a different person to get people to like me. I have to admit, I do that sometimes. I’m a performer. It’s hard not to be a people pleaser. She claims that’s it’s a cover. An ironic disguise, I remember her saying. She thinks I’m actually dependent and needy of others in my life. That I attach self worth to who I surround myself with. I wouldn’t say she’s right but she definitely hits some spots with my personality.

I smirked. Basic psychology, I thought.

However, what she thought all about it made her more intriguing and interesting to me. She believes it’s cute how I act. That it isn’t a bad thing of how I lived my life. She didn’t seem upset or offended either. She was poised, calm, the whole time we discussed it. She seemed to understand both sides of  the life I had. The adventurous exciting worldly side to it. But also the lonely manipulative side.

I see myself as a burden to everyone I care about sometimes. I don’t feel complete unless I’m with someone which explains why I keep ending up with wrong people. Daphne was right about that part. I depend so much on others to make me feel happy about myself. That makes me selfish, does it? I end up using people and driving them away because I’m too selfish. I guess I’m as well as too obsessed with romance to wait around for the right person. I keep feeling so empty and so lost when I try to. Daphne. . .she didn’t get this right. But I still have to give it to her. I didn’t realize that part of myself until she hinted at it. I liked her anyways. Daph. I want to be friends with her, if she allows me to. I think I’ll give it time and try to wait. I’ll be with my family as I try. H.

That was it. That was everything. It wasn’t an explanation but it was something that helped me understand him. It was more of an apology letter to me of how he perceived everyone to be.

I needed to go see him. Glenne said he was going to leave for tour soon and I couldn’t be left with unanswered questions. I had to go now.

I walked out of the building and I found Michael leaning against the wall on his phone. He looked to me.

“You’re done?” Michael asked me.

“Yes” I said.

“Great. Let’s go” He said as he put his arm around my shoulder.

“I can’t” I stated as I stepped away from Michael.

“Why?” Michael asked. “Did you forget to fill out a paper?”

“No” I said. “I just remember my mom wanted me to get her something for tomorrow night” I lied to him.

“Oh, I’ll come with you” Michael offered.

“No” I objected. “I probably have to go to ten different stores to find it and I don’t want to waste your time. I’ll call you later”

“Are you sure?” Michael asked me.

“Positive” I said.

I kissed him as of saying goodbye.

“I’ll FaceTime you later” I said. “Bye”

I turned away from him and started to walk towards Greenwich Street.

I may have lied to Michael. But I still had to get something. Just not for my mother.

I called Harry as I stood outside his apartment building. I hoped he would answer me. I unblocked him so the only reason he wouldn’t answer was if he was busy. I’m pretty sure him sending me the letter was a sign he still wanted to be friends with me. If he didn’t, then these flowers I had brought for him would be a waste.

My phone ringed a few times before Harry picked up. I sighed when I heard his voice.

“Daph?” I heard Harry ask me through my phone.

“H” I said. “Are you still in New York?”

I let out a breath, being relieved.

“Yeah. Did Glenne give yeh the letter?” He asked me.

“Yes. I read it” I stated. “Are you in your apartment?”

“Yeah” Harry answered.

“Can you come down then?” I asked him. “I’m standing outside needing to talk to you”

“Al’right” Harry said. “Yeh could have jus’t come up”

“Just get down here, H” I ordered him before I ended the call.

A minute later Harry came outside. He smirked being a bit confused as to why I had flowers with me.

“Are those for me’h?” Harry asked as we walked toward each other.

I blushed, smiling.

“Yeah” I said. “I know they’re not the same ones you got me but . . . I needed to”

Harry blushed and smiled at me.

“I read the letter and it wasn’t really an explanation” I said.

“It wasn’t suppo’sed to be” Harry said, agreeing with me.

“I still have questions” I continued to speak. “I know I don’t belong in your world, but I can understand and imagine the pressure of it so . . .”

Harry smiled at me like I never seen him smile before. His nose crinkled up a little and his dimples were on full display.

“Where do you want to start?” Harry asked me.

“The beginning” I said. “Please”

“C’mon” Harry said, putting his arm around my shoulder.

I gave him the flowers as we walked into his building. I could feel the doorman glare at me as Harry and I walked to the elevator. I knew I was going to receive more glares like that. I knew I was going to receive worse that that. Death threats. Loss of privacy. Loss of friends. Yet somehow I felt prepared. Safe, almost. I was entering Harry’s world and I had to be ready for the worst.