#Nicke Dat Ass Tho

[t0mcruize123]

The Alpha is spawned

This is a John Taylor Alpha smut with themes some people may find triggering (it’s sigma aura is lethal) so if ur mildly scared or worried about reading I suggest u don’t to preserve ur own safety👩🏿‍🦲🫶 this is written for my freakmate @mqverick and others may find it confusing and disgusting so tread lightly guys!!!……Xx

“Jawnnnny boy” I looked at John with a smirk, “I made a new Christmas song.”

"Ok what is it?" Said John, trying to chew on his meat he was eating

(that won't be the only meat ;))

"Okay here it goes,” I breathed in deeply, readying myself to sing the song I’d worked so hard on…,

“ON THE 5TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME:

FIVE STDDDDS, FOUR CUM SHOTS, THREE FRENCH MEN, TWO LARGE DILDOS,

AND ALOT OF CUM, IN MY ASSHOLE.”

"Wow Jerome that was... Something" said John, looking disturbed.

"Well you clearly enjoyed it, look at that boner" I said pointing to the shaft in his pants.

"Well.. I.. Uh." John said panicking, blushing in the process. I got up and put my finger on his lips

"SHSHSHSHS CHILD, Im a magician, and I can make that boner disappear" I said seductively.

John jizzed in response.

"Jerome.. Just fuck me..." Said John, with lust filling his eyes

I laughed, and I stepped away him.

"John, you're my Christmas present and I can't open (dat ass ) until it's 12th because that's how Christmas works!" I said with a smug smile

He sighed, and got up from the chair and walked towards me, his clothed erection touching my thigh

"Ok fine, but just so you know.. you'll regret making me wait" said john with a grin as he slapped my ass and walked away into his room

I gave it no thought and just shrugged it off

Oh but I was wrong

So very wrong.

On the 12th of December there was a blue Smurf moon and I could hear John howling with the rest of his pack. He was taking a fat shit and I walked in “on accident” to smell that wonderful dung.

"JEROME GET OUT" I ran like a flash not wanting john to throw the dung at me even tho it smelt delicious.

“Did u walk in on the alpha shitting?” Nick asked, “was it as glorious as I imagined?”

“Even more so,” I hummed and sat down on the bed. John came out of the bathroom with a brown booty hole and satisfied smile, “I just shat and cummed at the same time, you were right Jerome it’s the way of the future.”

“Nicholas could you give me and jawnny some privacy please?” I giggled y/n style.

“Sure thing, have fun you two gay bastards,” he smirked and trotted away.

When the door finally closed, I grinned at bbg John and slowly lifted up his shirt to reveal rock hard abs, WRONG! There was nothing but smooth skin and my inner organs salvated at the sight. I ran my fingers thru his luscious wavy locks and he tipped his head back in sigma style.

“Jerome uwu,” he whimpered, “Give it to me mommy.”

I grabbed hus thong string and pulled it as far as it’d stretch before letting go. The thong slapped against his tight little bum hole and he almost released at the sensation.

I bent low and slowly pulled down his thong to reveal his throbbing member. It twitched like an Alpha ready to hunt and the idea of his piss claiming me made me tremble. My sensitive bud of nerves was desperate for his long bony fingers but I halted.

I slowly rubbed my hand down his shaft and he giggled and whimpered uwu style, hopping and jumping into my touch like a wild boy gone mad.

His eyes darkened as the waves of ecstasy approached and a muscle in his jaw tightened. The moonlight highlighted the sharp planes of his face, all due to the mewing, and I felt a secret formula coat my thighs.

“You’re mine,” he howled as I edged him harder, “I own you.”

“Just because he’s black-“

I jumped as a strong black man came into view, dressed in tropical shorts with his hair swinging in brilliant braids.

“I’m Jamal, Jerome’s hotter sexier drippier wetter sloppier brother” jamal shook johns hand, “wanna see a real cock?”

John roared as his cum spurred out like a fountain, sending me flying into the far window and covered in his sloppy juices.

“I’m ur guilty pleasure,” John grinned, “crawl to me Jerome.”

Did he think I was a spider?

He pulled my hair roughly and I felt my wig rip a lil. I cringed and John looked down at me.

“Call me master.”

I stared at his thick meaty sausage..was he going to teach me kung fu? I looked back at the moon and released he was alphalating at that time on month. He needed to be locked up before he became to powerful.

He snarled in anger and jamal grabbed his cock, spinning it like a helicopter and John felt himself arriving, lifting up into the heavens.

“Jamal what are you doing?” I pulled John back down to planet earth, “we need to lock him up-“

“Tell Simon I say hi” Jamal grinned as he rubbed him faster, his cock flying at Mega speed as he lifted up.

“I’ll never forget you Jerome,” John confessed as he flew, “I own you forever and ever,”

“Tell a trusted adult,” jamal told me and I rushed to find Nick for help. I came back to see jamal had transformed into dobby and was frantically throwing all his socks at John.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaimed.

“Dobby won’t be owned, dobby will be freeee!!”

Eddie weddie walked into the room, his pale arse as bright as the moon and his fat, long, fiddle as brilliant as a thousand orange stars.

“What’s the ud?” He asked.

“John turned alpha during sex and jamal helicoptered his cock so he’s flying into space,” I explained, “we need help.”

“I’ve got this.”

Ed walked up to John, kissed his neck, took his hand, and gave him the sloppiest, wettest, most jaw breaking, world ending, dick shrivelling, head of his life and John blasted into outer space, little kid sperm shooting out like a rocket.

He flew away and I watched the loml disappear to his true home with the rest of the three long legged people. I smiled and blew a kiss..

And then shat so drastically my panties disintegrated and I had to use dobby as a butt plug. Nick and Ed bent low and emitted the most gas chamber farts they’d been brewing the whole night, showing their respect to Alpha John,

As the gas became too much to handle and the shit trickled down my knee, my arse beginning to sneeze, I inhaled deeply and died a happy shitty death.

Thanks for reading guys UWU :(

#ur mental health matters

[nerdyvocals]

@look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I finished our watch (their first, my... eighth???) of Julie and the Phantoms the other day (*cough* over a week ago *cough*), and like the previous two times, we had some unhinged things to say about it. This one's a bit shorter as we only had episodes 8 and 9 left, but if you enjoy our dumbassery, rest assured, we'll be watching the Descendants franchise next!

Honorable mention: us spending the first 20 minutes of our call trying to find the first two posts because the blog search engine simply Does Not Work.

Captions: [Whimsical music plays] Me: Whimsical music GAYS, OHHHHHHH

*Flashback of the Hotdog Incident (tm)* Bee: Street meat street meat street meat Me: Are you saying "straight meat"??? Bee: NO!

Ray Molina : *is very engaged with his son's ghost dip theory* Bee: The Bandit Heeler energy on this man

Julie: *outside the Patterson's house* Me: Do you have tissues?? Bee: Uhhh, yeah, next to me? Me: Good Bee: Oh boy

*cue lots of sniffling over Unsaid Emily*

Bee: You can tell their prefrontal lobes stopped developing at 17 Me: Yeah, I guess that happens when you die? Brain stops growing?? Bee: hehehe brain machine broke

Julie: What the heck??? Me: Let Julie say fuck! Bee: Of all the characters, Julie should get to say fuck

Me: Finale time! Any predictions? Bee: Oh god, I don't think I could outdo the pink ladies one, uhhh

Bee then spends the next minute and a half being a prophet (in a sense): 1. Alex is going to get a very dramatic on-screen kiss with Seth Clearwater because otherwise I will be Upset 2. In the same way they become Real-or like. Where people can see them-when they play, they will find a way to be corporeal where they can touch each other 3. I think there should be a dance fight with-oh, fuck, what's his name? Evil ghost man?? With his Ghost Cocaine???

Alex and Willie: *emotional hug* Me: WAIT PAUSE. *zooms in on Alex's hand* I think I have that ring. Bee: Riveting.

The boys: *trying to get the PATD opener gig* Promoter: *freaking out* Assistant: *unbothered* Me: A lesbian and an incel are trapped in an office together. Bee: The incel is going to get eaten. Me: And not in the way he wants!

Julie: *having a cry in the alley* Me: I wonder how much they had to pay to keep that Subway sign in the background.

Julie: *takes dahlia from the street vendor* Bee: Truffula tree lookin-ass flower.

Bee: Also I didn't want to ruin that beautiful moment, but all I could think of was "mom come pick me up I'm scared."

Me: this poor tech guy is Going Through It (tm)

Carrie: Been here before Trevor: *Bombastic side eye* Bee: HA that look said, "Damn, I really forgot to parent this girl"

Nick: *Jamming* Us: GO FEDORA KID!!!

Me @ Trevor: That man is going to pass out

Me, as the Boys are appearing: See, I've always wondered what was going on in the ghost club side of this scene, cause look, their costumes are missing pieces! Alex's shirt is open, Reggie's jacket is just gone! Bee: Oh yeah Me: Like it's probably just a storytelling choice to show they're where they want to be via clothes, 'cause this is more in line with how they dress normally, but it does make me wonder what we're missing. Like is there a fight? Luke: *appearing* Me: See his sleeves got ripped off! How and why? Bee: They did that for us. You, specifically Me: *cackling*

Julie and Luke: *crying, about to hug* Me, noticing that Luke's pants Fit Very Well: Not the most important thing happening here, but uh, dat ass tho

After rewinding the scene a bit because it didn't hit Bee in the moment that They Were Hugging Bee: I was so caught up in the euphoria of a good butt that for a moment, I lived in a world where they weren't ghosts

Julie + Phantoms: We played the Orpheum! Me: Saved by the power of friendship! Bee: And this man's ass!

Me: So yeah, that was Julie and the Phantoms, how ya feeling? Bee: Great! This definitely won't change my brain chemistry forever

Next up, Descendants!

[trilliath]

Nicklas Bäckström sends Ron Hainsey flying with a hip check in the midst of scoring a goal ~ 3.3.18

[hannahofathousanddays]

Season 3 Ep 3

Can’t believe we were denied a shot of Nick’s thicc ass jogging in sweats

[historibull]

I’ll be eternally pissed you can’t romance Nick Valentine

The way he says “you did good” when you kill something got me feelin’ some type of way

[falloutglow]

6 and 7 for the fic writer asks? 🙂

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

@glitchvault74‘s fic Ye Mighty and Despair (or YMaD lol) which is a sequel fic to The System is Rigged (TSiR) (note: there is a short one-shot that branches the two together so def check it out yo)

My bud just...is super great at humor and I did sorta drag his ass into this fandom HAHA I help uh...I guess beta? his fic? Not so much as like helping with grammar or anything, but he’s never played the games or like watched any LP’s. Literally just listened to me yell while in call with no context (visuals or game sounds) and I’m basically his hype lady for his fic and draws XD

Since he’s never played, the fics are like set “post game” for uh my fics cause its also set in the same ‘universe’ as my series Echoes of You. So, my psyker gal Echo shows up!

I wish I could share the words he wrote that made me lose it, however like its oooof one of the later chapters he’s finished so its def spoilers... but here’s his like most recent WIP Wednesday. Still fuckin cracks me up XD

His humor is great and his fallout fics also has illustrations that he drew himself :3 If you like Deacon, Nick, and also absolutely ridiculous shit hit up his fics yo!

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

...Is it bad that I made myself cry by writing some angst? skdafdshf

hmmm I’ve been SLOOOOOWLY chipping away at @potatocrab‘s noir au fic Salvation is a Last Minute Business, that’s like hella tasty and I get so goddamn emotional that uh tears happen sometimes XDDDD

Good ass fic. I love me some murder mystery and ugh this fic is my fuckin JAAAAAAAAAAAM I’m living. ANd shit I’m getting emotional again FUCK *wipes eyes* Heckin, love this fic yo and GOD I want to savor it skdhfdsf Probs will end up chewing through some chapters this weekend tho! >:3c dats the plan anyways eh heh heh heh

[fanfic asks]

[mademoiselle-historienne]

headcanon time baybee

((These are just a bunch of headcanons since I feel I never released much about my OC Nicolette. Take this dump-- and a bit of a CW for 18+ content, disorders, gore, etc etc))

                                _____ under the cut be like :o _____

Actually really organized 

Will get fussy when someone isn’t organized enough to meet her standards

Major closet weeb

Loves old 90s anime and vocaloid music

Avid Taiko/rhythm game player 

Really good at keeping and pointing out rhythms and patterns

Used to be a drummer in an all girl group

Eye scar comes from playing at a bar and, when a fight broke out, a chair was thrown at her and knocked her tf out

She got scratched in the eye and is now significantly blind in the left eye (not totally)

Very blunt with her feelings unless it’s romantic

Cue nervous, blushing, sweating mess

Literally never trusts many men unless they’ve proven they’re at least good natured

Women? Women are fine. Women are great and cute

Daddy issues to the nth degree, need for a strong male figure in her life

Definitely has a daddy kink

Will absolutely not admit it unless she slips it out, or it’s extorted out of her

Big scary men with knives is a big yes

Sadomasochist, prefers masochism with bondage and knives

Being overpowered and thrown around is something she fantasizes about

Is also a virgin (lol loser)

May or may not get turned on sometimes in trials because of this kink :flushed:

Knows how to skateboard, mostly just riding it but also knows a few tricks here and there

Volleyball player so she always finds some way to stay physically active; actually is pretty tough

Her intelligence is where it’s at tho

PHAT ass cerebellum

Any question you have she will answer clearly and concisely 

If she doesn’t know the answer? It will bother her and she will actively do the research herself

Dissociation disorder mixed with a bit of PTSD

Can’t really stand much blood (other than in a sexual sense or injury)

Gore is a big no

Can and will have a mental breakdown at the sight of gore, even if she’s been in the Fog for a set amount of time

Doesn’t like the idea of killing people unless it’s justified (which is short for “sexually abusive men/women/people”)

Really good at comebacks

“That’s why yo shoes raggedy” “That’s why yo mama’s dead” type beat

doesn’t remember the last time she hugged someone

Very touch starved

Will cling to anyone who dares to show her a bit of physical affection

Never kissed someone, never been intimate besides the times it was non consensual 

Her favorite people get showered in hugs and affection

Likes to listen to all kinds of music i.e “don’t knock it till ya try it”

Especially likes EDM and synthpop (Capsule or Vocaloid), but alt rock like Grimes is top tier

Jeff and Nick fangirl over BABYMETAL together no cap :pensive:

Would 105% be a raver if she hadn’t been taken by the Entity

Occasionally visits the killer campfire to see Anna 

Anna acts as a bit of a mother figure to her outside of trials

The others definitely unnerve her to some extent (honorable mentions include Herman (Doctor), Kenneth (Clown), and Danny (Ghostface) even though she is adamant she could kick his scrawny ass if it ever came to too much flirting)

Writes only in cursive because “printing is too hard :(”

Can write really fast and have it come out perfect for some reason?? how she do dat

Has a tick/calming method of squeezing her thumb when getting very upset or in major pain

Other ticks include the Leg Bounce, tapping on things to a rhythm of a song, lip biting, twirling of hair

“Eat the rich, anarchy is the way to live”

Dissociates commonly at the sounds of yelling, excessive blood or gore

Constant “what?” 

Often has trouble remembering things-- barely remembers that she killed a man unless she’s reminded

[lustingtc]

25th November 2019

(A day late ik shut it >:(( )

BUT OH MY 🥰🥰🥰

It was a time ☺️☺️

For a lesson I was literally so distraught abt (cuz I’d be alone lol) it was..? So good???

I was hesitant to go to lesson so I was chatting to O, outside T’s class n 😳😳😳😳

T locked eye with me and SMILED SM!!! 🥰🥰 he was like “K, get into our lesson please!”

N I’m so fucking nervous n awkward n was like 😳 >.>... 🚶‍♀️n headed into his lesson,,, he was so cute doe 🥺🥺🥺💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

He was so happy today.

N aaaaaaa,,, 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕🥰🥰🥰🥰

T was doing the register is this really weird voice??? It was rly high pitched and everyone was like 😒

But OFC my ass was like 🥴🥴 sat there

He did the voice when he said my name😔😔💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 baBE. Then promptly went “Haha... okay that’s annoying I’ll stop guys.”

The voice was like??? He’d just elongate everything. Idk... it was cute doe 🥰🥰🥰🥰

LMAO OH MY GOD

he started popping the teen pregnancy jokes out 😌😌 baby

(Our town is like rly skanky n awful lmao so it’s not uncommon)

But on the board it said ‘My nan is young’

N T went

“Yeah, you get a lot of young nans in [town] so it’s not impossible.”

BITCH. 💀💀💀

N the whole class was laughing but he was still laughing a little to himself after everyone was done... and so was I 😔😔

Funniest man in the world?

Absolutely. 🥇🎖🏆💯💯👌🏻😂

Anyways,,

He talked to me TWICE 😱😱😱

First is bc we where doing sum whiteboard shit n I never put my whiteboard up,, like idk?? It breaks my invisible safety bubble that makes me think I’m invisible but in actual fact everyone can see me but for the sake of me not going insane. No one can see me

Anyways,,,

He was like “Board up!” N I didn’t then he like locket eyes w me 😰😰😰😰

N told me to put my board up n it took me a moment to realise he was actually looking at me??? 😳😳😳😳

We where just vibing in each other’s eyes

So my awkward ass like picked it up rly stupidly n was like >_> he didn’t bother me after that 😌

But I think he gets it?? 😳😳😳 so 😌😌✌🏻

Aaaaaa,,

The 2nd time he talked to me 😳😳

We where playing this bingo n he has these cards he was shuffling

N I asked me to pick aaaaa!!! 🥰🥰🥰

“Tell me when to stop!”

“Now”

He paused looking into my eyes,

“Are you sure?”

I paused for a second, playing up the banter 🥰, and I was like

“Hm... I think so Sir.”

N he smiled 🥰🥰💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

THATS RIGHT

WE ARE COMEDY LEGENDS!!

He then went

“Ohhh... yikes. What a dry card, number 8!”

Ajenaksnwksn THIS MAN!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Lmfao my fuck tho

HE STARTED DOING VOICES A FUCKIN AGAIN!

The card 99 was picked and he went

“NINEEEEE TEYYYY NIIIINEEEEEE!!”

He’s...

So. So. So. So dumb... and I love it 🥴🥴🥴🥴

But OMG!!!

He crowtched down to write n 🥰🥰🥰🥰

💝💞💓💗💖💘💕HIS ARMS 🥺🥺🥺🥺

They r so hairy and baby and oh my god they r the cutest and aaaaa!!

He also walked past me n 🥴🥴🥴

HE SMELLS SO GOOD!!

T smelt like flowers but like kinda masc flowers???? Lmao that is such a shit desc. but omg I have no way to desc it 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

💝💞💓💗like I have NO words💗💖💘💕

He’s such a baby 🥺🥺🥺 the way he smiles... I can just incision the lines and the big smile on his face qwq hE,,,

ARG,,, enough w that soft shit 😳😳😳😳

HE LMFAOOO

His compute screen unfroze so we could see all the files n shit and like lmao

T’s file is called (his name but nick name ver)

“TTT*****////////\\\\\\\\#####!”

LMFAOOO ITS SO CUTE. HES SO DUMB AND JUST A FUCKING DORK!!!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Also

Lmfao

He dropped his clock ⏰

N the first person he looked to 😌💅🏻

Me.

His face was like 😬😬😬 n I was like trying not to fucking laugh wowneowsnwk

No one else apart from the 2 kids in front of me saw but lmfao,,, hes so dumb 😌😌😌

So sad 😭 lesson end.

Ain’t the end of T 😳

T used his dominance over me 😭😭💔

He really did it

He told me to get to tutor 😭😭😭😭

Lmao

I was hanging w dat #GANGSHIT before tutor n he was going into M’s and we locked eyes 👀

“Get to tutor please!”

My face was dead ass QwQ

N then I was like 😬😬😬 byeguys,,, and went to tutor 😭😭😭😭

#GetDommedOn 🤭😭💔

[girlbookwrm]

It’s here! At last!  THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin​ and @pegasuschick​ here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages. 

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission. 

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back. 

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c. 

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk. 

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay. 

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY? 

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x08 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7

14x08 Byzantium

Guys I don’t know if I can be funny this episode.

-....HER?! WHAT. ....oooooh they are gonna do something stupid aren’t they?

Zeta: can I not see Jack like this please?

- “please don’t be sad”

Zeta : Sam? Not sad? ..lol

-is Dean there to choose an album ? wth ...also damn son can you all stop looking like pain in the flesh?

- the oxygen tank?....naaah fam I’m good, bye I can’t. Zee give me the strength to keep going because I’m gonna throw myself out the window 

- oh shit...the scene....the promo scene that killed us all.

Zeta : Cas doesn’t know who to worry about anymore.

- Everyone but himself that’s for sure

-Oh my god SAM, omg Jared you and your eyes are gonna kill me this season.

Zeta : “what happens next?” 

-oh shit I didn’t think about it.

both: we are gonna die too

- “an adventure”

Zeta : is he serious?!?!

-Oh Dean really doesn’t want to be there.

Zeta : LOOK AT ALL THE HURT

- D: “I can’t..”  bitch me too the fuck

- ..pAiN

- C:” He NEEDS you “

- S:”He’s gone” 

-asgajsvdaksdasdh WHAT

- I can almost taste the guilt seasoned with pain right there.

Zeta : the fuck?!

- THAT WAS FAST . U KIDDIN’ , WHAAAAAAT THEEEEE FUUUUCK

Zeta : I’m speechless. I can’t even focus on the bowlegs.

- Dean talking about the hunter’s funeral and Sam can’t fucking take it

-OH I love Sam’s stance, beautiful.....aaaaand he’s gone.

-My soul and whole being is hurting but boy that was an amazing Destiel moment and that’s the shit I wanna see.

- Damn, Cas is spiriling 

Zeta : Cas is obliterated

-.... OF COURSE THERE IS A VOICEMAIL. Dean’s annoyed af face at his mom’s voicemail is giving me life, and look....my skin is already clearer. 

Zeta : Like the bitch cares

- Castiel clutching Kelly’s pic , probably thinking he failed yet again.  lol I wanna die....it would hurt less.

- SAM NO

Zeta : where is he going??

-I hope not doing anything stupid

Zeta : I can’t watch them like that bitch

-CASS IS DRIVING!, CASS IS DRIVING , WHAT. HOW. WHAT. I love that is Cass who is driving

Zeta : Dean’s not driving??

- FUCK YEAH

- Probably Sam took Baby and Dean was like....listen babe I’m not even gonna touch that suburban mom’s steering wheel I don’t wanna feel dirty. Baby could smell it and you know how jealous she is.

-”Why did you let him leave?” WELL HE DID AS U ASKED BITCH

- AND HE’S WEARING THE SEAT BELT!!  my European's ass is singing ( is it true that y’all americans don’t have to use it? because....wild and also why. Here if they catch you without the seat-belt they skin your ass)

- kill me with that axe

Zeta : something’s wrong here.

-Yeah...they are hurting so much, I hate it. What the fuck is it with everybody’s eyes, fuck me.

Zeta : I think n.1 dad was Sam

-Nah....Cass is #1 Dad , Sam related to Jack. Dean is the step dad who didn’t think could love the kid and now he’s fucked because he love him too.

Zeta : “Taken before me”

Zeta : We get loaded

- omg do we get to see them drunk? omg yes.

Zeta : Please call help

- Is THat NOugAt?

-OMFG 

Zeta : bitch

-AAAAAAAAAAAH CAS SMILE AND LAUGH THAT IS JUST SO MISHA OMFG.

- But Castiel entering the room a bit unsteady and with two bottle ? FUCKING MOOD.

Zeta : I love drunk Dean

-WHAT

.

.WHAT WAS THAT LOOK BETWEEN THEM . WHAT.

my soul....hurts stop it.

-Awe Sam....lol weak.

- Cause of death : Dean slurred drunk sad voice, “We did everything we could right?” 

Zeta : HIS VOICE

-”I’m gonna teach you how to read a map”

I can’t deal bitch

-THe DoubLE StRaws

-someone needs to change that lightbulb.

Zeta : Heaven

- THe fuck

Zeta :...Hell..?

- what’s up with shining there

- Dean’s dying groan in the morning: MOOD, SAME.

Zeta : you got old

- Cass and Sam looking fresh and stylish as always .

[enters Dean] the trashcan is heeeeere

- rebooting Dean.exe 

Zeta : he can’t even english

-shhh

- oh....no

both: PASS

- but what is the priiiiceeee

Zeta : simple as that

- ...well I mean...fair. I guess she wants to meet her daughter and shit 

Zeta : seriously?

-Well we already saw Osiris.

Zeta : Major Dick

-When god left - sorry long story- .

-Oh...no who ARE YOU

Zeta :he does that thing with the eyes.

-WHATSAHFDBF

Zeta : What the hell

- I wanna cry. I am crying

Zeta : thanks, the last part of my heart just withered and died

- Oh no wait until she realize he’s dead

Zeta : aaaaaand

- ...here it comes

- Boi this season is painful

Zeta : Peach, it rhymes with bitch

-oh he really doesn’t like her

- S: “ Taking risks , making crappy deals. The family business “

-”AWESOME”

- “ MORE AWESOME”

Zeta : Was that black goo Lucifer?

- I can’t tell honestly, maybe him and the Empty made a path or something IDK.

-I don’t like when Castiel leaves alone. Bad things happen .

-Sam head tilt lol.

Zeta : forced smile much. 

Zeta :look at him ( Dean)

- AH TOLD YA

-Heaven looking nice as always

- I do like seeing Castiel in heaven

Zeta : natural habit and I do love angels clothes

- yeah....50 shades of gray

Zeta : hello Bitch

- *gritted teeth* Naomi

Zeta : He was THAT annoying

- THAT ACCENT THO

- Naomi : Give it what it wants

Cas: 

- Cass: “ NO”

-no bitch , Jack he’s everything wtf.

- So Nick woke up the Empty then? *dean’s voice* AWESOME

So now there are 2 big baddies ?

*dean’s voice* MORE AWESOME

- SNAPPY

Zeta : pushing pencils , damning souls

-MY KIND OF WORK

-oh u going down that’s what

Zeta : I’d prefer the scale and the feather

- but the abacus has more sense tho...like....counting good deeds and bad ones, like in the good place right? Can we see the Winchesters using that? I bet the thing would explode.

Zeta : that went well

- Sorry bitch what did u expect

- oooooh what was that little chuckle Castiel stop killing me this season. It burned

Zeta : it stung

- “I failed you” 

 K: “ you didn’t....Jack...he’s wonderful “

*bawling* YES HE IS 

- Misha need to control that eyebrow or so help me god.

Zeta : he needs to control his whole face bitch

- I fucking hate where the angels goes when they die ok

Zeta : fuck

- OH BITCH. *dramatic zoom*

- “He’S OuR KiD”

KIIIIID

*bawling*

Zeta : look at Dean

-MY GOD

both: don’t do this to us

- Empty : “SToP iNteRrupTinG!”  Damn bitch, pipe the fuck down

Zeta : crazy ass bitch

  I     LOVE     HER

- I love how she’s doing the Empty. like....*slow clapping*

Empty: “Where I’m taking you is worse than Hell” 

oh well you are definitely selling the place

- Empty:” Oh god they look scared. Does that hurt you?”

- *Cass brandishing his angel blade* .... 

me already knowing where this is going: oh honey...no

-Puppy Winchesters eyes always wins

Zeta : He can’t hear you.....oh he can

- .... Is that how he is every time Dean pray to him?

When Dean prays:

SAME

me seeing Castiel getting up :

Castiel: TAKE ME

Zeta : take me instead

- he’s so.....snarly....

Zeta : I bet you are drooling

- I am.

 A dumb fucking angel: “You want me”

me: I do

A dumb fucking angel: “I would go now and I would go willingly “

me: no u don’t

-NO , NO DEAL, FUCK YOU, FUCK U.

Empty: “ oh “ creepy chuckle “but not now” sharps intakes of breath “ no no no, you see ...what I meant....I want you to suffer . I want you to go back to your own life and forget about this and forget about me and when you finally give yourself permission to be happy...and let the sun shine on your face ...that’s....when I’ll come. That’s when I’ll come to drag you to nothing”

Zeta :She’s goooood

- Castiel: “I accept”

oh look it’s me when I’ll meet Misha ^

and now for an out of context gif: 

-She’s so good. I love her BUT FUCK THE EMPTY

- “Because I love you Jack”  CRYING CRYING.

- C: “ They don’t need to know what happened”

Zeta : of course they don’t.

- Jack: “ I won’t tell them” 

OH so now Jack drove the Impala, snacked on burgers, has hunted, has died and now he has to lie and keeps secret?

CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE NOW A 

- ...

NO 

FUCK , CASS YOU DAMN SELFLESS BITCH.

IMMA SMACK HIM.

hold me back bitch because imma smack his face

Zeta : control yourself bitch

-NO IMMA SMACK HIS ASS

Zeta : I can’t wait for the gag reel of this part.

Omg Kelly babe . I’m so glad they met .

-WHAT WAS THAT FACE AGAIN CASTIEL

Zeta : dEAD

- J:”Good, I feel good”

WELL I DON’T *hiss*

-oh that hug. omg my heart

- oh well....uh look at dat I fucking bet that the sacrifice got her heaven watch that.

HI LOOK HOW FUCKING HAPPY HE IS TO BRING HOME SO MUCH WIN ?!?!

friendly reminder that he just like...sold his” soul” to the Empty, tell me again that Castiel doesn’t care.

-...Naomi you bitch why couldn’t you tell that before?

Zeta : because she’s a bitch

- D: “ And we know where Michael is, not sure how you pulled that one off “ *side eyeing Cas* 

me: *HISS*

- don’t make me think about the fact that Dean cooked those burghers ( as you can see from the counter) while he looked happily at his family reunited . lol *sobs*

- There is a warm happy feeling in my chest right now. I don’t like it, can’t wait for the writers to rip it off my chest pretty soon.

Zeta : is he wearing the dead man’s robe?

. ....yep

Zeta : I’m dead inside

- Dead with a slither of happiness that will get choked out of us, just you wait.

...

...

WAIT A MINUTE 

*goes back*

wHAT IS THIS SHIT OMFG DEAN 

IT’S FINE

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc

[sweetestkidd]

Yoo, just a nigga here just saying what i want. I am fed the fuck up. I just want move away from all of this. I don’t care about the bills, car note, or whatevs. Shit like that dont phase me. People out here are no good for me. Personally just want to be alone. Jus ya know doing me on thing. Talk how i would like to talk. My close friends and family are just going to have to miss me man. I think this is just for me… Another vacation a suppose or just a get away. Away from these time wasters, and non believers (in themselves​ or others). I kinda fed up with girls as well. Like girls I had past relations and new girls. Just fuck, holy shit they are annoying. They don’t know me yo. You know a nigga name and DATS ABOUT IT. Changing my name as well. ( I love my name. Alot alot alot. Last name? Eh) this one girl I used to be in love with thinks I AM A FUCKING IDIOT. But I see right through her. She just plays games with me (mind) so I can stick around and be her scapegoat. Fuck. That. I guess when she’s done being with every guy who’s taller than me she’d be like “oh nick, we always had something” but we tho? I think it’s all false to me. Congrats on the baby. Cool af, caught me off guard but haha damn nigga. Yeah you can kiss me goodbye. Second girl or aka the Goddess (the true and only Goddess of this universe.) Idk. Idk. She just on some other shit. Something up with her. I know it but I can’t even talk to her so its whatevs. She says she “thinks of me all the time.” Yeah ok. We’ll see motherfucker. I made something for her tho. It’s how I truly feel about her. Some day she’ll know. Maybe. Still thinking about it. (Even tho it’s hers lol). She’s w/ someone else so.. eh. Whatevs. I Look at her insta and Twitter just to see if she’s okay. Make sure she tweets or something. Just to know she’s okay. Funny how I prayed for her to be back in my life. Well shit should've​ been more detailed. Yeah, all this new girls are SOOOOOO cringe worthy. No. No. Cringe af. It’s like the same girl but a different body. Wtf. Be original and that’s to all. Idk girls want guys to be 6'4 and that’s all a guy has to be to win a girl’s heart.

1. Holy shit gtf. 2. If you’re like this, yeah you’re full of shit plus youre only robbing and fooling yourself 3. If you’re guy and you’re short like 4'0 to 5'8 and a girl is hitting with BULLSHIT like that: RUN LIKE HELL. 4. Looks ain’t love. Height ain’t love. Money ain’t love. Love is love. It is always and will most definitely will win. All the time and every time.

I am just done. I love my life. It’s a wonderful life to live. To be me. The only me. I am different? No. Just original. Motherfuckers don’t like that shit. Why would anyone want to be like anyone else? Why pretend? Who the fuck wants to be a follower? Idk. I know I am a wonderful person. I don’t deserve to be left on read, I don’t deserve to be just another option or choice, BECAUSE A NIGGA AINT. The first choice or no choice. I ain’t changing for shit. Cowboy just like me dad. Sorry if y'all want just a lame ass nigga or sum. Just soild af. Sorry if you haven’t met any. A shame really. One last thing, if I used to fwu and we just not like that: don’t hmu. Ain’t no room yo. It’s Christmas all year round. So yeah. Done trying. Being alone won’t be all bad. I still got me friends: while I am still here. See ya.

- nibbãna

[winedownwithcoffee]

Trash Opinions and Rankings-Guilty Pleasures Night

I think this was exactly what was needed last night, especially for me. It was lighthearted and fun. Don’t forget, I watch the show live then rewatch it the next morning to do these so I can be fresh, so Bestie, thoughts might have changed. Now on with the trash!

The thoughts from Tom were so on point. I am so glad he said it.

Opening: TO cannot break dance. Derek was ADORABLE! Sasha was cute. Loved Drew and Frankie's. They definitely explained their guilty pleasures. I really loved this opening! So lighthearted and showcased EVERYONE. Side note: Cheryl got REALLY excited about no elimination….

Drew & Emma: This package was LONG. It seemed to drag. Cute, but long. Love Love Love this song. Also dying knowing that her dress was tucked into her underwear. Dance was good, he had a great intensity about him.One or two turns that seemed really choppy and stompy but good! Scores were acceptable.

Derek & Sharna: They have so much fun and I love them. I love her helping him. Get lost in the stats LOL I really liked this dance. A couple weird steps on the stage but he was having so much fun. Band freaking butchered the song. DAT ASS THO! Good amount of cha cha content. It was GOOD! AW I missed that part about being thankful to be there. Thank god no 6’s

Victoria & Val: Love Val saying he hates the song, same friend same. HATE IT. She is so full of freaking joy I love her. And people are assholes, who makes fun of kids in a wheelchair? So the dance was cute with a couple understandable fumbles. But It was really busy with all the lockers and people. Smart on Val’s part, just really really busy! It was still really really cute. I loved that the judges actually critiqued them.

GOD I LOVE TOM!!!!!!! The ass comment and the meme skit. I am DYING

Vanessa & Maks (Alan): Okay seriously though, them just IGNORING Maks being gone is weirder than them harping about it like last season. The rehearsal was so staged. Whatever. I was not a fan of this last night. She definitely stayed in time so that is a positive. She definitely didn’t trust him and her lifts looked timid. Still bored me on the rewatch.

Nikki & Artem: I am dying just thinking about this one. OKAY rewatch: the package entertained me so much. Artem is not the best actor but I don’t even care. LMAO at him as Fabio. LMAO at him not believing the 50 shades. Please take away the cameras LMAO. God in heaven the elevator scene. Please let me be stuck in the elevator with him. This choreography was so much better, but she wasn’t nearly as graceful as I wanted. So SO sexy though. My God.JAYSUS. God John Cena. They were SO FREAKING CUTE. So so cute. Scores were okay because she was a little stompy. Still underscored just like Derek.

Judges guilty pleasures, you made my life. LEN NAKED, Bruno in skivvies eating fried chicken and champagne. I die.

Frankie & Witney: I just remember how stiff this dance was. Okay so the rehearsal package was cute, he really is cute and dorky. I am warming up to him, overall. Still won’t vote for him. OMG “ mixture of on the toilet taking a crap and pure ecstasy, combine those two looks and that’s the boy band look”. I did NOT hear that last night. Side note that was the lamest boy band, and Joey Fatone! Cute of wit to keep the music video and brit and justin thing. I knew this dance was going to be rough for him. And that lip synch thing was so cheesy and awkward and I didn’t like it but the boy band move breakdown was cute lol I do love seeing happy and goofy witney again. The video was funny of him singing.

Lindsey & Mark: You would have NEVER known she had gone through a breakup and was all heartbroken since the beginning of the season. Good job at hiding that. Those outfits are cute! Also, her guilty pleasure is my guilty pleasure. The onesies. I live. Marks is way too tight LMAO. I freaking loved this dance. Love me a Mark Jive. She did so good. Stayed in time and in synch with him. It was so freaking fun. I loved it so much. LOOOVED IT.

Sasha & Gleb: I went into this with 0 expectations after his disastrous “jazz” with Jana in S23 and he delivered. The package was so funny and cute though. I like their partnership. The “jazz” was cute but not much jazz at all. They were in sync with each other so that is goof but it was just cute. Not many feelings about it. Though her pieing him was funny.

Nick & Peta: Okay so the package was cute, though a bit OTT in my opinion. He is goofy and it was fun seeing him get into character. That stupid part about the notebook was really dumb…. ANYWAY. Messy opinions. This really had nothing to do with Romantic comedies. I mean he looked like he was having fun so that is good.  John Cena laughing was funny.

TO & Cheryl: GO THE FUCK HOME DUDE. Okay got that off my chest. Package was dumb, the only good part was him dancing with the guys at the beginning. And what the actual fuck was her sliding down his legs??? That was so awkward. And he got off time big time. But again, he looked like he was having fun. I hated that. Can’t stand him. Judges are ON CRACK with this one.

Jordan & Lindsay: Cheesy AF package. Still cute, but pretty cheesy LOL. That OPENING! I really loved this dance BUT I think the song made it slower than a normal Charleston and they couldn’t incorporate enough Charleston steps to make it a FULL one you know?! But it was sooo good. I really liked it, and I love Lindsay. Glad Len stayed consistent in his point docking

Worst to Best Trash Opinions TO NICK SASHA VANESSA FRANKIE DREW VICTORIA DEREK JORDAN NIKKI LINDSEY

[crysdrawsthings]

lazy fuzz (that name sounded too interesting to pass up)

Thanks for ask! And sorry for the delay.

So, character profile (my meme-post here) for Lazy Fuzz.OC in general terms, now mostly presented in WH 40K. 

Full Name: Crystallica(also Fluffy Lizard-Ass and Lazy Fuzz). And yes, my URL and nick is from hername, cuz I am lazy and she is a half-time avatar (by this I mean, that sometimes I use her instead of drawing myself), half-time full OC.

Gender andSexuality: identifies as female, tho is closer to some kind of a livingcrystalline golem, then to meatbags, so kinda asexual and craves dat mineral.

Pronouns:she\her.

Ethnicity/Species:fuzzball. And if jokes aside she is something like an ethereal spirit, usingcrystalline golem as a body.

Birthplaceand Birthdate: unknown. Just hangs there doing things.

GuiltyPleasures: watch and do nothing when someone she personally dislikes is gettingwrecked. Maybe even eat pop-khorn in process. Also being lazy fuzzball.

Phobias:scaredy cat and can get startled by her own shadow if moment is right. At thesame moment can be pat-pating Kairos Fateweaver, because he is so fluffy birby. Basicallyhas a very loose concept about what is dangerous and what is not.

What TheyWould Be Famous For: she can draw kinda good? And rather lucky when it comes todifferent interesting findings. Also probably, for occasionally making things muchmore complicated and difficult when trying to make them better. She can bondwith Magnus over that.

What TheyWould Get Arrested For: In the cold dark future where only war exists (WH40K), herfirst mistake was being hermetically blasphemous demonic spit of Warp. And theother ones was kinda simple: violating Imperial law, being a demon, stealingimperial resources, corrupting holy places by being a demon, corruptingimperial minds to Chaos by being a demon (and way friendlier then their Commissar),heresy, extra heresy, lying to Inquisitors, hijacking some ships and one Titan,being a demon, corrupting spess mehreenc chapter to Chaos (questionable), did Imention heresy?About other place, we do not have records in touch.

OC You ShipThem With: no ships.

OC MostLikely To Murder Them: all my other OC I mention here is from differentuniverses that she is currently hanging out in, but… Well, almost every of minecan with very good chances beat her one-on-one, she is not very good withfighting thing, but killing for real is trickier due to her ethereal nature.Moru, maybe, due to her soul-eating abilities can do it.

FavoriteMovie/Book Genre: probably enjoying a lot of various things depending on acurrent mood. Craves happy ends, because of reasons.

LeastFavorite Movie/Book Cliche: making things edgy in your creation just to become thebiggest edgelord in the field? Aka unnecessary grimdark.

Talentsand/or Powers: occasional magic with unpredictable results, low-key controlover crystalline body, basic skill with piloting various machines and usingfirearms (but remember about the loose concept of danger), can draw.

Why SomeoneMight Love Them: well, she has a lot of rather good traits. Tries to be kind and supportive,intends good, wants to help and be good friend. All that stuff. Questionablycan be loved for her protective intentions towards parsons she cares about andher sense of humor. Sense is rather lame though.

Why SomeoneMight Hate Them: do you have that one friend that just unreasonably cheery allthe time? Or almost unrealistically childish even if you know that they are oldenough to be more serious? Or just that one who is constantly does something incrediblydumb and tries to explain it with good intentions? That’s she. Also remember,that her behavior can seem at least partly made up and add this to list.

How TheyChange: this is that moment when you think time has no power over someone,because they are so magnificent unchanging idiot.

Why YouLove Them: just. Also she is funny when putted into some canon and startsmaking it absurd sitcom around her sorry fluffy ass.

[omgmissmillie-blog]

Thank You ❤

I have hit 100 followers and I mean to anyone they're like meh but to me it means alot! I have a few people i'd like to thank and appreciate! @hardcorewwetrash - girl yes. Like fucking yes I love you i'm happy we met you are the best internet mum/best frannnd i can ask for. When braun comes on the tv I more than likely expect you to start screaming in the chat like "GUYS BRAUN" Its cute and gah yes. Your fics bring me joy and like i can't live with out pls do more never stop pls. BTW I HOPE YOU GET YOUR ANONS BACK 👀👀👀👀 @screamersdontdance - Shannon I love you like omg. When we would use caps back in forth in the dms i was like yes this like my long lost twin i love her. Your love for baron is adorable. When his pic comes up you either cant finish typing or you type with several errors i love it. Thank you for also being my best frannnnnd you the bomb. Your stories are bomb and if i catch you with anyone besides baron im tellin 👀👀👀👀👀 @fuckyeahbulletclub - I love you steph can i say it again? I love steph guys steph is like one of the most chillest girls i've met mmk? For a long time i was like uhhh this girl probably got 20k followers and won't fuck with a chick like me. When i sent you that ask it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Once i got to know you and we talked I was extremely happy and more comfortable. You're also one of my best frannnnnnds who would have cute babies with anyone from the bullet club 👀👀👀 @asylumxclub - aint nobody gotta ask me twice if I love you. I will defend your ass in a heart beat ( a long with the girls above) just like me we're the youngins BUT das okay because the girls love us. I cannot wait for you to start writing Tbh (smut 👀). I enjoy fangirling about pete to you (even tho you know he my big daddy 👀) I was soooo happy for you when nick noticed you I was like DATS MY BISHHH ASHLEYYYYYYY i even did a ugly thot laugh.... Anyways thanks for just being there and making the chat fUN as fuck with everyone else. 👀👀👀👀👀👀 @50shadesofadamcolebaybay - CJ I have hella explaining to do just not now lol BUT I ENJOY YOUR WORK ALL OF YOUR WRITING PLS WRITE FOREVER YES. But I know you are really nice and sweet and open to helping with writing you are an absolute doll 💙💙💙 @daintymissdevitt - WE GOTTA GET BACK TO TALKING. WE WERE SPEAKING ALOT AND I NEED THAT BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE BAE AF. 👀👀👀👀 I need to fangirl about cj's stories to you 😂❤ I know theres more but im about to go see John wick so please don't hate me okay? Thanks again everyone ❤

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: The Cunt You Married

So i realize i never got around to writing a review of Gone Girl. I remember gushing about it, or rather, screaming “That F*ck” constantly, in kind of a blurb but never really broke down the reasoning for my pure adoration. I figure, upon my umpteenth viewing tonight, i’ll actually articulate why this film is one of my all-time favorites. and, oh my god, is there SO much to unpack! But first, lookit how goddamn beautiful Rosamund Pike is.

I have the strangest boner right now...

The Best

As i noted before, goddamn, but that Rosamund Pike, tho! Her portrayal of Amy Dunne was incredible! i haven’t been that impressed with a performance since Waltz’s Hans Landa or Ledger’s Joker. I adore the mastermind in a film and Amy Dunne was all of that. The way she plotted, executed, and eventually accomplished her goals, even if she had to... “improvise” the finale, was just plain amazing to watch and i tip my hat to Rosamund for ability. Goddamn, was she good in this! all that sociopath is like catnip to my f*cked up self and i wanna overdose on her.

But dat plot, tho!

This movie is goddamn gorgeous! the framing, the cinematography, the colors’ it all meshes into what an only be called a work of art. It’s wild to me that this film shares the same medium as something Michael Bay creates because it’s like there on the opposite ends of existence.

But dat scavenger hunt, tho!

F*cking Tyler Perry! What the f*ck, man?? I had no idea Medea could actually act as a character that he didn’t write or wasn’t a goddamn caricature. His Tanner Bolt was almost as deftly brought to life as Amy but it was still slightly hard to not see Medea. Slightly.

But dat atmosphere, tho!

Bro, David Fincher is one of my all time favorite directors. I was on him way back with Alien 3 and Se7ven but Fight Club put him on my list. I thought he found his niche with these weird ass gene flicks but this movie? i’d say this was his magnum opus. This is Fincher at his best. This is Fincher at his mst deranged. He crafted a disgusting, violent, tale of malice and despair veiled in common suburban strife. Bloody outstanding.

The Better

My second favorite character in this movie is Margot Dunne. She’s kind of like the POV character for the film and she legit is a fountain of reason. In a world as twisted as this, Go is the only person in this story talking sense. Carrie Coon owned this role and i am glad she did!

The raw emotion demonstrated in this movie was incredible. These are adults essentially playing pretend but, goddamn, they are playing the best game right now. That opening shot and voice over? Holy sh*t!

NPH, in the house! Desi was f*cking ridiculous this flick, man. I had no idea Niel had this type of performance in him. It’s subtle, threatening yet disarming. He’s a legit crazy motherf*cker and that’s a lot to say when you’re sharing time with Amy f*cking Dunne!

The Good

Ben Affleck was actually pretty good in this. Generally, he’s an awful actor, much better director, but i can’t shake performances like the ones in Gigli or Daredevil. God, those were awful. But in this? His Nick Dunne? Pretty adequate. There are some times when i’m reminded, jarringly, about his limitations but, for the most part, he was serviceable.

Most of the supporting cast was pretty fantastic. I’m not a hug fan or Emily Ratawhatsit but she did alright with what limited time she had onscreen. Amy’s parents, too.

GOD, i hated her neighbor-friend. THAT chick should have been the one to Gone Girl away.

The Verdict

Gone Girl is easily one of the best films ever made. The character of Amy Dunne was one of the most shilling, cruel, brilliant, and beautiful i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing on film. I totally slept on this flick when it was in the heaters and took a chance on it when it hit Amazon Prime. I’m SO glad i did! If you have an opportunity, definitely watch this movie. It’s an expertly crafted tale of revenge, betrayal, and karma. It’s f*cking wild that Rosamund lost the Oscar to Juliette Moore but Hollywood is kind of full of sh*t most of the time. Watch Gone Girl. Is real Good. Real. Good.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Review: The Cunt You Married

So i realize i never got around to writing a review of Gone Girl. I remember gushing about it, or rather, screaming “That F*ck” constantly, in kind of a blurb but never really broke down the reasoning for my pure adoration. I figure, upon my umpteenth viewing tonight, i’ll actually articulate why this film is one of my all-time favorites. and, oh my god, is there SO much to unpack! But first, lookit how goddamn beautiful Rosamund Pike is.

I have the strangest boner right now...

The Best

As i noted before, goddamn, but that Rosamund Pike, tho! Her portrayal of Amy Dunne was incredible! i haven’t been that impressed with a performance since Waltz’s Hans Landa or Ledger’s Joker. I adore the mastermind in a film and Amy Dunne was all of that. The way she plotted, executed, and eventually accomplished her goals, even if she had to... “improvise” the finale, was just plain amazing to watch and i tip my hat to Rosamund for ability. Goddamn, was she good in this! all that sociopath is like catnip to my f*cked up self and i wanna overdose on her.

But dat plot, tho!

This movie is goddamn gorgeous! the framing, the cinematography, the colors’ it all meshes into what an only be called a work of art. It’s wild to me that this film shares the same medium as something Michael Bay creates because it’s like there on the opposite ends of existence.

But dat scavenger hunt, tho!

F*cking Tyler Perry! What the f*ck, man?? I had no idea Medea could actually act as a character that he didn’t write or wasn’t a goddamn caricature. His Tanner Bolt was almost as deftly brought to life as Amy but it was still slightly hard to not see Medea. Slightly.

But dat atmosphere, tho!

Bro, David Fincher is one of my all time favorite directors. I was on him way back with Alien 3 and Se7ven but Fight Club put him on my list. I thought he found his niche with these weird ass gene flicks but this movie? i’d say this was his magnum opus. This is Fincher at his best. This is Fincher at his mst deranged. He crafted a disgusting, violent, tale of malice and despair veiled in common suburban strife. Bloody outstanding.

The Better

My second favorite character in this movie is Margot Dunne. She’s kind of like the POV character for the film and she legit is a fountain of reason. In a world as twisted as this, Go is the only person in this story talking sense. Carrie Coon owned this role and i am glad she did!

The raw emotion demonstrated in this movie was incredible. These are adults essentially playing pretend but, goddamn, they are playing the best game right now. That opening shot and voice over? Holy sh*t!

NPH, in the house! Desi was f*cking ridiculous this flick, man. I had no idea Niel had this type of performance in him. It’s subtle, threatening yet disarming. He’s a legit crazy motherf*cker and that’s a lot to say when you’re sharing time with Amy f*cking Dunne!

The Good

Ben Affleck was actually pretty good in this. Generally, he’s an awful actor, much better director, but i can’t shake performances like the ones in Gigli or Daredevil. God, those were awful. But in this? His Nick Dunne? Pretty adequate. There are some times when i’m reminded, jarringly, about his limitations but, for the most part, he was serviceable.

Most of the supporting cast was pretty fantastic. I’m not a hug fan or Emily Ratawhatsit but she did alright with what limited time she had onscreen. Amy’s parents, too.

GOD, i hated her neighbor-friend. THAT chick should have been the one to Gone Girl away.

The Verdict

Gone Girl is easily one of the best films ever made. The character of Amy Dunne was one of the most shilling, cruel, brilliant, and beautiful i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing on film. I totally slept on this flick when it was in the heaters and took a chance on it when it hit Amazon Prime. I’m SO glad i did! If you have an opportunity, definitely watch this movie. It’s an expertly crafted tale of revenge, betrayal, and karma. It’s f*cking wild that Rosamund lost the Oscar to Juliette Moore but Hollywood is kind of full of sh*t most of the time. Watch Gone Girl. Is real Good. Real. Good.