#Never thought I would receive so much supportive cool and lovely beans when I first created this account but now I am really glad that I did
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kanene-yaaay · 2 years ago
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Helloou beans! I recently hit another hundred of followers and I wanted to celebrate a bit. SO I will be reblogging a ask game about fandoms and stuff but also decided that it would be nice to add a bit something to it.
If you're not feeling like participating the ask game feel free to send a emoji:
🍪 - To receive my tickle headcanons about a especific character (pls send the character too)
🎶 - To receive a random idea or scenario of a tickle fic that I am thinking about/am writing (feel free to send a fandom too)
🎁 - Random fun fact/ramble about a fic already posted (send the fanfic you want me to talk about if you want)
Just a quick reminder of the fandoms I am in:
- Sanders Sides
- BNHA
- Undertale
- PJO
- OMORI
- FNAF SB
- Mob Pyscho 100
I might take a bit to answer them because I am taking a slow day but I already thank you all for your incredible support and for following this silly blog <33  I hope you all have a delightful weekend <33
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ditttiii · 4 years ago
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gold rush. || kth {m}
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⇢ summary: kim taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. all narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is everyone’s dream. after months of sharing an elevator with the man who makes your heart race until you can scarcely breathe when the chance finally comes; are you willing to risk it all for his touch? 
⇢ genre: porn with feelings, soft smut, angst, is unresolved tension and feelings a genre?
⇢ pairing: kim taehyung x reader
⇢ word count: 4.4k
⇢ rating: explicit / 18+
⇢ theme: strangers to lovers, s2l!au
⇢warning/s: public/elevator sex, exhibitionism, fingering, cunnilingus/oral (female receiving), lots of kissing, hickeys, unprotected sex? reader’s on the pill, swearing, tension and so much of it, unresolved-repressed feelings, taehyung is a certified dingus & reader is hopelessly smitten. 
⇢ a/n: betaed by @yeojaa​ who owns my heart and is the most precious bean ever. 
also have all my virtual, socially distanced cuddles @btsmosphere​ @papillonsgf​ @birbdae​ & @unoriginal-username15432​. if it weren’t for their support this wouldn’t be out today. my gratitude knows no bounds ♡ also big thanks to taylor for the fic title.
banner by @chillingkoo​ & moodboard by @today-we-will-survive​​ their art breathed life into this fic ♡ a belated birthday fic for one mr.kim taehyung & the beautiful @kerikaaria​.  this fic is also my submission for @thebtswritersclub​ january monthly project. 
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lastly, i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy it x 2021 here v go ♡
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You wonder when the shame stopped making you hide behind a curtain of messy bed hair. When the smell of a man's cologne on you and a fruity fragrance on him started to feel normal; routine.
 The elevator closes with a 'ping', and your eyes track the numbers as they descend, the warmth of another human, the soft puffs of his breath, warming your shivering, scantily dressed body.
 "What happened to ‘she’s too old for me?’ " You grunt, slipping off your six inches of agony inducing footwear and pushing them to a corner.
 "What happened to you not being jealous?" You can feel his smirk, oozing of self-assured nonchalance and smugness that would seem ugly on anyone but fits like a well-tailored suit on him. From the corner of your eye, you watch as he leans back, hands resting on the metal railing while his tall, lean body slouches lazily, almost invitingly, and you have to force your eyes away from tracing the curves of his pecs. It's a tempting sight, but you aren't about to give him any more ammo to goad you with. As it is, he already knows too much, is far too keen. 
 "Of your sugar mama? I don't think so."
 Taehyung hums but doesn't refute the statement and the silence between you two stretches on. A burning ball of jealousy in your stomach continues to eat away at your peace, and with a clenched jaw, you allow your head to rest against the cool metal of the elevator and pretend that the proximity doesn't affect you. 
 It's always the same between you two, a constant game of tug and war, where one pulls too firmly, and then the other comes tumbling close until one of you comes back to your senses and then it's back to square one. Back to bickering and recounting the previous night’s escapades of half-truths and lies told from kiss-swollen lips and hooded gazes as you try your best to rile the other one up.
 It's stupid. You are in your twenties and this isn't like you. The lying, the pretence that you are still seeing your ex-boyfriend and biting and sucking your own lip until it swells; until you look properly ravished; none of this is you.
 You should have known the day he first stumbled into the elevator with a half-buttoned shirt and bite marks painted over the pale skin of his neck, a satisfied smirk curled on his dark pink lips, that he wasn't good for you. But no, like the absolute fool that you are, you fell for him. Fell knowing full well he wasn't yours to have, that back then you weren't his to have.
 The elevator comes to a stop with a shudder. Your eyes, closed sometime during the descent, snap open and your feet pause when the sight of the closed doors grace you.
 "You stopped the elevator." It's not a question, not when his hand is still hovering over the stop button, head tilted as his eyes stay trained on you.
 "I did." He admits to a question you never asked.
 Biting back a hiss at his insistence on being difficult, you twist on your heels, lips pulled into a smile whose edges sting like shards of a broken glass and parry, "And why did you do that, pray tell?"
 He doesn't answer, just looks at you with that half-lidded gaze and his silence only infuriates you more, makes the back of your neck feel heated as an angry flush rises from your chest all the way up to your cheeks and with a few angry stomps you’re in Taehyung's space, barely a few inches left between you two.
 "God!" You start, and the anger, the jealousy, the ugly ball of insecurity and lust and something you haven't quite found a name for yet all coagulate and rise up your throat, burning your heart in their wake until you are hurting and seething. “I don’t get you, nor do I want to anymore!" The words tumble out, one after another and half thought out but your chest still burns and the ugly ball still feels scorching hot in your throat and you can't bring yourself to stop, to shut up and think. "Stop doing this. Stop flirting with me and stop looking at me with those hooded eyes of yours and for the love of god, do you really need to lick your lip that often? Why don't you carry a lip balm if your lips are that dry, huh?"
 The cross of your eyes is almost painful, but you have started and fuelled by anger and unreciprocated feelings there’s no stopping your steam. "And now this! Stopping the elevator! What the hell is this supposed to mean?" His lips part as if to answer but without waiting for his response, you plow on, "What! Do you actually have an answer? Really? Let's face it; you think I’m some sort of challenge that needs to be conquered. Another notch on your bedpost. You and your stupid smirks and half-lidded eyes and that damn mole on your nose and god, can you just not—"
 The soft pad of his finger on your lips pauses your rant, leaves them parted and your heart hammering while unsaid words clutter the hollow spaces in your throat, tighten around your vocal cords like a noose until they become their own nemesis. 
 "I broke up with her last night," Taehyung says, and from where you are standing so close to him, his breath on your neck, cheeks, lips is too enchanting, too much like something you had hoped and begged and prayed for far too long now. Breathing out harshly you blink yourself back to reality because you must be hearing him wrong. 
  "Huh?"
 His hand slowly comes up to hold your chin, thumb running over your lower lip with a feather-like touch, "I broke up with her last night, went home and came back early because I didn't want to miss you." He says, and your chest feels tight, palms numb and it's only when his hand gently settles over the nape of your neck and you inhale painfully that you realise that you had stopped breathing.
 "Why?" You rasp out. 
  Don't hope. This means nothing. Do not hope. 
 Something twists in your belly, a thread tightens around your heart, and you know, despite it all, that you are hoping. 
 "Why do you think?" He asks instead, and you stifle the sudden desire to bash his head into a wall. 
 "Don't play games with me." 
 A sigh, his breath dancing on your lips and you barely suppress the tingles that burn down your spine, "I'm not. I don't want to, not anymore." The hand resting around your neck curls, fingers caressing the soft skin behind your ear.
 "What do you want then?" Your words are quiet, hope and longing laced into every syllable that you desperately hope to hide but fail. 
 Your heart hammers into your ribs with so much force you are half afraid it will leave them cracked; splintered just like your love for the man who is touching you, holding your entire heart in the palm of his hands while you wait for it to be crushed. Because it will, it's inevitable. Kim Taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. All narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is too good. Too good for the woman he was with and certainly too good for you. You would be happy if you looked half as good on your wedding day as he regularly does because he is that gorgeous. And unreal, and pretty and it hurts. 
 It hurts because you can never have him and any second now he will push you away and ridicule you for getting flustered so easily and he will never understand, and god it cuts. It tears at you because despite knowing better, you long for him, his touch, his warmth.
 Maybe even his love. But that is one hope you refuse to acknowledge out loud. 
 Your breaths mingle from where you two are standing so close, and part of you aches to reach out, to pull him closer and wrap yourself around him until you can sync the beat of your heart to his, to nestle your face in the crook of his neck and breathe him in, drown in the scent of that spicy cologne that you associate with him and nobody else. Because it's tempting, oh so inviting and he is so so close.
 You could touch his chest, caress the skin peeking from in between the dip of his low neck shirt and it would be easy, he would let you, you know that too but what about after? How do you come back from holding someone your soul is in love with and then pretend that being with them for one night was enough? How does your hope keep living on in the name of that fragment of love? His arms your shelter for one night and then you are back to being strangers, sharing elevators and bumping into each other at the grocery store, pretending all the while that you do not yearn to visit that one night you spent together whenever your head hits the pillow? 
 "I..." Taehyung struggles, chews the words before his lips form them because this is his last chance and if he loses you now, it's over; he knows that too. The pair of you are done playing cat and mouse. 
 "I know my words don't hold a whole lot of value. I could promise you things, but you won't believe me and that's fair. I get it." He admits, another hand coming up until your face is cradled in his open palms, fingers slipping behind the edges of your ears and you will yourself to not drop your gaze, to look into his eyes and search for...love? Honesty? You wish you could say you know what it is that you are hunting for, but held so close all you can think about is the chestnut brown of his eyes, the black that rims them, the high arched brows and the thin, smooth lips and that mole; that mole that you can only see when you are pressed close, a hair's breadth of space between you two. 
 "But...?" You ask, pray, and yet again, against your better judgement hope.
 "But I love you." He confesses, voice forever rich and deep and you feel the hum of his baritone from where your chest is still pulled tight to his. "My love for you is unlike any I have ever known, and it scared me; it still scares me because I don't know. I don't know what I will do if I ever lose you. I care too much, I—" His grip on you tightens and instinctively your hands snake around his waist, clenching the soft cotton of his shirt, nails biting into your skin as his words thread your hopelessly lovesick heart back together; piece by piece.
 "I love you too much." Taehyung whispers and the ice around your heart thaws, his raw confession lighting a fire in your nerves until you are left buzzing from the high of his admission. "Trust me. Just this once. Please." He is vulnerable in his plea, and for the first time you wonder if you had characterised him wrong. Boxed and stored him like a gift on a shelf without bothering to look underneath the paper wrapping.
 Taehyung doesn't have to beg, he doesn't have to try and persuade anyone, and for all the gibes you threw his way, all the daggered words about him dating only for money, you didn't truly believe any of them. Sure, the woman he had been with for the last few months was older (a voice in your head whispers wiser), but that wasn't because she was, as you would often insist, his 'sugar mama', but instead because their interests aligned. Kim Taehyung is a man of taste, whether it be his fondness for a violin's trill, fascination with modern art, or his love for jazz music. He is an enigma and with no small amount of embarrassment you think back to all the times you have bought a book after he made a passing comment on it, searched the pages and the characters to find some semblance of him.
 Maybe you are pathetic, perhaps you are far too infatuated with this man for it to be healthy. Just maybe...
 "No," Taehyung commands, his voice so determined you’re snapped back to the present, head thrown out of the haze your wandering thoughts had created.
 Seeing your obscure expression and strayed eyes (look away because you can't acknowledge how much he matters), he pushes, one hand sliding down to grip your chin and urge you to look him in the eye. "Don't." 
 Maybe he sees something in your eyes, spots your hidden insecurities, reads you like an open book and dog-ears the pages that hold your weakness. 
 "Don't what?" You deflect, gaze drifting away again as you pretend to not know what he means but secretly long for him to keep pushing, to keep trying—your denial’s a facade to hide all your pleas. 
 "Don't do this to me. To us."  
 "You'll hurt me." You protest, a half-hearted attempt at trying to protect your already doomed heart even as your fingers clench tighter, pull him closer.
 "No, I won't." He speaks with certainty that you don't wholly believe but fuelled by far too much love and longing, you don't protest any further and instead toe closer, rise higher, and breathe in the shaky exhale he lets out when your lips skim the sharp curve of his jaw. 
 "I've wanted this for so long." Unadulterated desire courses through your veins at his admission. Even if Taehyung is lying, even if he leaves you stranded after today, you'll live. You'll live on the high of this moment, the memory of his skin under your touch, the crisp of the cotton draped over his lean torso. 
 It's easier to let go and surrender yourself, easier to lay yourself bare because you have already come too far and there is no protecting yourself anymore—your heart is now his to do with.
 Your hands twine around his waist, slide over the vast expanse of his back like he is yours; as though if you try hard enough, you'll leave an imprint, a sign that he belongs to you. Mark him for the rest of eternity and brand him with your name on his heart. 
 Kissing him is easy, the slight ache of staying on your tippy-toes going by unregistered as you get lost in the sensation of his lips, his sighs on your chin, the tickle of his lashes against the high curve of your cheek. 
 The cradle of his palms around your face is gentle, almost careful, as though you are a porcelain doll and he is afraid one harsh move will leave you splintered. Chest tight, you push down the last remaining traces of hesitation clinging inside your throat and twist to catch his lips instead, licking a long strip from the soft cleft of his chin over to his parted lips, dip into the hollow of his mouth and slide over the soft flesh on the inside before you catch his upper lip in between yours and suck.
 His responding groan has you clenching your thighs and you break the kiss, breathing in to replenish the oxygen that doesn't seem as important when his lips are on yours. When your gaze catches his, for once you don't look away, don't force yourself to stop from swimming in the beautiful, clear pool of his eyes.
 "I love you too." Your admission is quiet, more a careful whisper than anything else, as though any louder and you'll break this spell and things will go back to the way they were. He will come to his senses and realise he doesn't love you after all and then you'll go back to being a pining, lovesick fool, only this time with a broken heart and no hope to cling to.
 His eyes grow soft—gentle in the curve of two crescent moons, and you smile your first real smile, the edges twitching and pulling into a gentle grin before you can bite it down and the answering smile that Taehyung rewards you with has your heart squeezing almost painfully inside your chest.
 "Yeah?" He asks as though he already knows the answer but just wants to hear you say it again, profess your love for him again and you do. You say it again and again, press your lips over every inch of his face and emboss the words onto the smooth, unblemished skin.
 Taking in a shuddering breath, you answer from around the suspended ball of disbelief and love in your throat. "Yeah." 
 When the clothes start coming off it’s a gentle, slow affair, the spaces in between filled with tender touches curious to explore the skin that they had desired for so long and open-mouthed kisses pressing promises of forever and happily ever after onto the naked expanse, leaving goosebumps in their wake.  
 Legs twined around his waist like ivy, you arch off the floor. A tug of your hand and his shirt slips low, and then your mouth is pressing warm, wet, kisses, tongue slipping out and desperately tasting his skin, his sweat— him. You lean back and then he's on you, low, low, low until his lips are close enough to skim the edges of your panties and you buckle, arch and push without meaning to as you ache for relief only he can provide. 
 "You are beautiful. So so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen." 
 His words are rough, less speech and more growl as he pushes his head closer to your soaking heat and inhales. "Fuck." 
 Breathes turning to hitches, words into gasps, you can scarcely keep your eyes open when he runs a long, slim finger through your folds and circles your wet opening before your walls are pulsing around him, sucking and pulling the finger in as deep as it will go. One and two then three, your cunt can't have enough of his fingers, his heat and him and oh— 
 His lips are velvet against your clit, your body a molten mass of gold moulding itself around his fingers, your sanity and restraint slipping and dripping down onto the carpeted floor from in between the spaces. With the last left strength, you prop yourself onto your elbows and the sight of Taehyung's mouth on your sex is almost enough to send you slipping back down again. His tongue laves across your folds with the desperation of a man parched, caressing every fold, greedily licking away your dripping arousal and moaning out obscenities too vulgar for how early the day is. 
 When you come, it's with a cry that sounds too animalistic to be yours. One that comes from your chest and leaves your back arched like the ends of a boomerang. "Good?" He asks with glistening lips, and you wanna scream, hysterical in your pitch— good? Is there anything better that exists in this world than his lips on you making you come? Again and again, until you can no longer stand the sensitivity? 
 But instead of screaming, or shaking him by his shoulders until it gets through his head, you reply with a spent nod and let your elbows slip. This is what being eaten out by Kim Taehyung feels like. The pleasure coursing through your veins is something far more potent than any you have ever felt before. The blood in your veins thrumming, almost sizzling under the thin layer of your skin. 
 He presses his forehead to yours, rests to catch his breath and with every shuddery inhale you breathe your arousal in, a swipe of your tongue across his glistening lips, and then you can taste it too. It tastes of nothing and yet everything. Coming from his lips, it tastes of what your dreams are built from, like liquified recklessness and yearning and above all —Taehyung. 
 It tastes of him and his smirks and all the kisses you couldn't have and all the kisses you now hope for. 
 His fingers are gentle when they tuck your hair, eyes bright behind the curtain of messy, ink-black strands, "There's a law somewhere that says when you love someone with all your heart, you are unavoidably loved by them as well. Amor ch'a null'amato amar perdona." 
 Your eyes search his, frantically rove all over his face, search the lines under his eyes, pause at the small mole on his nose, and then stop at the sight of the one on his lower lip, the one that your eyes would always drift to every time he'd smirk or grin in the past. Now he's smiling, lips stretched into a soft boxy curve, the mole evident against the edge and you raise a trembling hand, run your thumb across it. Cup his face with both your hands until your vision blurs and then your lips are on his. Locking and licking and your mouth is a leaking faucet of I love you's, hands working to the back of his head and getting lost in those perfectly long, wavy strands. 
 You hope this is the real thing when you wildly take off your dress, rip off his shirt unmindful of the last few buttons that clatter to the floor and undress until the both of you are as bare as you were the day you were born.
 The steel railing is startlingly cold against your rear but before you can wince Taehyung's large hands are on your waist, pulling you closer until all that's on your mind is the feel of him, hard and hot against your dripping heat. His mouth is on your breast, lips sucking marks into the flesh and tying you to him, leaving traces of his presence behind until you can no longer differentiate the ache in your heart from the burn in your belly. 
 Somehow through the haze of want and compulsive need, you collect yourself enough to tell him you're on the pill when he remembers the lack of protection in his wallet, and then he's inside you. The thrust inside is fluid, and you are moaning, keening at your wetness, at how long he is, at how unbearably, entirely full you are. 
 Your name falls from his lips like a prayer, like the last words of a man dying an untimely death, desperate and hurried and like if he takes a second too long he might never get the chance again. The scratch of your nails against his back must hurt, the grip of your heels around his sides must be painful, and still you can't bring yourself to let up; to let go. 
 The air inside becomes humid, reeks of sex and sweat and everything that shouldn't seem so right, and yet does. 
 You come first, hit your peak and crash through it like a ship in a torrential sea, hot and volatile and like something vital that you'll retain even in the afterlife. Taehyung–sweet, sweet Taehyung – helps you ride it out, makes your body sing with the honed practice of a pianist who has spent more decades playing than he can recall. His tongue is on your neck, stroking that one sensitive spot in the hollow of your clavicle while his hand brushes your clit, builds the pleasure and lets it drift, unhurried and soft until you are crying from the overwhelming rightness of it. 
 With a shudder, you finally push his hand away from your quivering heat and bring it to your lips, kiss the bony knuckles and let it rest on your thigh from where he wraps it tight around your waist and drives to chase his own high. 
 Sated you watch Taehyung, catalogue all the features that you had never seen before but up close can. Just in case—just. File them all in a part of your heart where only he resides, a piece you will always come back to, regardless of if the man in your arms chooses to stay or not. You will be selfish with these memories, hoard and treasure them in secrecy until the day you can look back upon them with nothing more than nostalgic fondness. 
 The appearance of a deep furrow on his forehead, between those long arched brows and the breaking rhythm of his thrusts, alerts you to how close he is and you clench. Clench with all the love and devotion you nurture in your heart and hope that somehow it will be enough. If not forever, then at least until you can have your fill, until you can love him for a life's worth and live off on those memories. Live on them like a late mother's half-finished perfume bottle that you take out and sniff on your sorriest days, a push strong enough to keep you going. 
 One more day, then one more and then just one more until you can finally meet him in the afterlife, old and having done all that you had been sent to do. Except for love. You doubt you can ever love like this again. 
 Kissing him after feels like the best kind of heartbreak because you know, somewhere deep in your gut where you house your intuition and insecurities, you know this won't last. 
 Yet you wouldn't take back anything. Your lips form words on Taehyung's shoulder 'i love you so much. i always will', and you tighten your arms around his waist. Anchor him to the present and pray that the defence will be strong enough to keep him with you for a little while more. 
 Just a little.
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a/n: the end is up to your interpretation, you are free to imagine whatever end you’d have liked to see. If you enjoyed reading this please let me know through comments, reblogs, tags or asks. the feedback makes me insanely happy and i love hearing from you guys ♡
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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago
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//fatherhood headcannons//
Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / Bokuto Koutarou / Daishou Suguru
Warnings: none 
Word Count: 1.7K (~550 a piece)
Notes: don’t come for me and my self-indulgence. Also >:C if you’re of age and living in the United States, go fucking vote.  i am not asking. 
Kuroo Tetsurou
He goes into this whole fatherhood thing with complete and utter confidence.  Kuroo Tetsurou is convinced that he doesn’t need to have a single parenting book.  How hard can it be?
It’s all just making sure his kid doesn’t die, right? R I G H T?
He tries really hard to understand all of your discomforts during the pregnancy, but wowowow he’s bad at it.  You were complaining that your feet were sore and he just looked at you weird.  You had just gotten out of bed?  How did your feet already hurt?  Your back hurts? How? You’re laying down?
He recognizes that you’re in discomfort and he, of course, doesn’t look past that.  He’s going to do whatever he needs to do to ensure your comfort, but he just struggles to comprehend it.
I promise that Kuroo was so calm and cool and collected throughout the entire pregnancy and honestly, even during delivery, he was there to tell you how great you were doing, holding your hand, letting you crush his fingers in your tight grip.  He would pat your head and occasionally give you little kisses on your temple.
But when the nurse asks if he wants to hold his new little girl and places her in his arms, oh he’s crying.  He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until he feels the tears stream down his cheeks.
It was in the following weeks that he realized just how hard this whole parenting thing would be.  Sleep?  Kuroo didn’t know her.  The baby religiously started crying every night at 2:27 a.m. and it would take nearly an hour to get her to fall back asleep.  By the time that hour passed, he was already back to being wide awake and would just lay in bed, unable to fall back asleep for hours.  
The first time he ever had to change a diaper, he had to pull up a YouTube video to figure it out, but he’s not about to tell you that.  
He has no idea how to dad, but Kuroo ends up being a really incredible father.  While he may be lacking in the basic skills like knowing the correct formula temperature or how to properly hold his daughter, he makes up for it with his constant companionship.  
You’ve walked in on him in the nursery so many times.  He’s really not even doing anything.  He’s just leaning against the crib, running his fingers across his little girl’s skin, still not believing that this is real and that that little baby is his, something that he helped create.  Oh, it just makes him so soft to think about.   He talks real quietly to her, telling her about his day, like she has any idea what he’s saying, but he still smiles so wide when she looks at him.
His little girl is his entire world and I just know that he’s an incredibly protective father.  He knows that the world is a scary place and he wants his daughter to be able to grow up having the best life possible, even if it is difficult.
Bokuto Koutarou
It was an accident.  It was 100% an accident.  But, the absolute joy that lit up his features when you told him your happy news, well, you don’t think you had ever seen him smile so wide.  He had picked you up to spin you around and covered your face in kisses.  Bokuto had set you down and immediately squatted down to place a kiss on your non-existent baby bump, telling his little baby how excited he was to be their papa.
Bokuto does prepare, well, at least a little. He owns one book, but he has read it cover to cover.  When he was reading through it, he would stop at something that he found particularly interesting and show it to you.
He didn’t really know how best to take care of you, but he tried his best!  He would rub your shoulders or feet when you asked.  He would make dinner after practice.  He is absolutely running to the store in the middle of the night because you had a sudden craving for Cheetos and vanilla ice cream.  Bokuto thought it was best not to ask what the hell you were doing when you proceeded to dip the Cheetos in the ice cream.
Bokuto forces you on walks.  He read in that one pregnancy book that walks can help induce labor, so in the time leading up to the due date, Bokuto was taking you on strolls around the block multiple times a day.  
But, he gets really busy with MSBY ;-; like. . . a lot.  He wants to be there every step of the way, but he just can’t.  Even after the baby was born, it seemed like there was rarely a day off for him to just spend with you and the baby.
Nothing hurt more than seeing the video of his little boy taking his first steps, knowing that he wasn’t even there to see it for himself because he was stuck on a bus in another city for a game.
This boy B R A G S about his kid all the time.  Sakusa might just beat his ass if he has to hear Bokuto coo about his son one more time.  
Games that happen at home are Bokuto’s favorites because he knows that whenever he looks up into the stands, you’ll be there, the baby in your arms, a tiny black knit hat with gold detailing pulled over his head.  It always made his heart so warm and he seemed to always be on top of his game just so he could secure a win quicker.  He just wanted to rush to you and cradle his little one in his arms.
He likes to toss his little bean up into the air, but he has absolutely bonked his son’s head on the ceiling and then proceeded to fail to catch him because he was so in shock that he just hit his son’s head on the ceiling.  Insert one (1) bokuto koutarou suddenly regretting every life decision that he has ever made.  
Surprisingly, he’s a really good parent?  He understands the balance between being caring and supportive, but also having a firm hand on discipline.  He isn’t much for punishments, because he’s going to feel bad, but he won’t hesitate to sit his son down and have a talk if he needs to.  
God Bokuto is such a good dad please i’m so soft i just know that he would sob his eyes out the minute the baby is on its way
Daishou Suguru
please i don’t even want children, but i would make an exception for daishou suguru
Suguru is so?? stupidly?? prepared?? 
Like the two of you decided that you wanted to have a baby and this man went to the bookstore and asked one of the workers which pregnancy books were the best.  The poor high school student had no idea
He took notes and was just constantly studying up on things.  You’d think he was back in university again with how much he poured himself over these books.  
While Daishou may have all of the technical stuff down like knowing the exact female reproductive anatomy and how it all works to produce the baby and he can definitely change a diaper with his eyes closed by now, but-
When the time came to put together a nursery- oh the boy was lost.  He had no idea what to do.  He’d never built a crib before.  He wasn’t really sure why he was expecting it to just unfold or magically form together when he took it out of the box, but now he was just sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by bits and pieces of a baby crib, pouring over the instructions, only to get more confused.
Please go sit with him in his time of need.  He’ll rest his head on your shoulder and rub tiny circles over your bump.  
Suguru probably jumped a foot in the air when he felt that itty bitty kick against his hand.  It took him by complete surprise and his eyes were as wide as saucers, but this really slow smile took over his face and you don’t think you had ever seen him so happy, a complete smiling and laughing mess.
He takes the best care of you b y e 
Morning sickness?  He’s right there to pull your hair away from your face and get you a glass of water.  
Too bad he spent all this time looking up information on the actual pregnancy and had no idea what to expect for actual childbirth.  Overnight bag?  He said, “How long does this take?”  He had no idea what to do during delivery.  His dumbass just stood there until you demanded that he give you his hand and definitely screamed when you nearly crushed his bones in an absolute death grip, nails digging painfully into the back of his hand, but who was he to object.  He wasn’t the one pushing a child out of his body.
Oh, did I say child?  Try children.  Suguru nearly fainted when the nurse said that there was “one more.”  He didn’t remember seeing a second little peanut on the ultrasound, but maybe he just forgot in the overwhelming panic of the moment?
He was so good all throughout the pregnancy, but the minute the kids are born?  It’s like he completely forgot everything that he read over the past nine months, but the softness in his eyes and the gentle smile on his lips the very first time he got to hold his kid?  It made it all worth it.  He didn’t know that it was possible to love someone so quickly, but he looked at the faces of his newborn children and he couldn’t have been happier.
Daishou has fallen asleep in the nursery chair more than once when he was up with the babies.  You’d get up to see what was taking so long, only to find him leaned back, his head lolled to the side, two tiny bundles held securely to his chest.
In conclusion.  I love daishou suguru and he would be a really good dad once he figured it all out
{Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @celosiiaa​ @kuronekomama​ @lovinnoya​ and @nekxrizawa​ @boosyboo9206​ bc you both got me thinking about them as d a d s and now i can’t get it out of my head onyx please take this as a bribe to receive the daishou suguru hip dermal edit you made i need it}
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harrypotterximagines · 4 years ago
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ANON: hey angel, I was wondering if you could write a smut for Neville involving him and a fem!reader losing their virginities together, and he’s super nervous and shy and reassuring, and totally overwhelmed by everything he feels cuz he’s honoured she loves him enough to let him touch her and omg just supersuper sweet Neville PLEASE 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
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The air was heavy as soon as you opened your eyes. A certain feeling inside of you was churning, a thousand small butterflies fluttering around your heart. You felt like glass, ready to shatter; and the best part was, you were ready to break.
The way how Neville slept alongside you, wool blanket dragged to the tip of his nose, securing himself with warm overwhelmed you. His peaceful body laid limp, unaware you were watching his doze. It’s true when one says that words cant describe the immense amount of love you feel for him. Your body felt baptized whenever you caught a glimpse of your soulmate. It was a connection you assumed you were never going to reach.
Taking your eyes off Neville, you swung your legs alongside the bed, hoisting yourself up and getting ready for the day. Each step you took, each corner you passed, your mind couldn’t leave him. It seemed that whatever was in the air wasn’t just speculation but rather a bug. The bite of love’s grace stung you extra hard this morning, warmth and serenity filling your veins like liquid gold. 
Squeezing the bathroom counter and letting the coldness of the marble cool your body, your wide smile reflected back at you. Moments like these, when you have a chance to step back and reflect on all your privileges, dating Neville was more than a personal achievement. You realized that it wasn’t the art of bragging to your friends you had someone that treated you like a Middlemist Red flower but instead it was privilege of getting to call Neville yours.
If luck was genuine and true, despite its sharp fangs filled with venom to strike at those who are disadvantaged, you sneaked past that poisonous peril. Taking a shaky breath and biting back tears of joy, you followed up on your daily morning routine. Although distractions like brewing coffee and choosing which mugs you’d both be drinking out of this morning, Neville couldn’t leave your mind.
The passion that radiated off from you almost made Neville seem phantom-like as he appeared into the kitchen, the sun glowing off his soft skin. His eyes brightened at your beauty, floating closer to you. You were utterly entranced by his power, only breaking out of your gaze by his command. His strong hand placed on the small of your back, tugging you close and kissing you sweetly.
He whispered good morning in your ear, his voice raspy and deep. The lovesickness whirled back into your heart once more and you realized it just wasn’t his love you craved, but the entirety of his whole. You swallowed hard, your train of thought heading off to a destination of overwhelming overthinking. Admittedly, you’ve both never done anything beyond the level of intensely making out. However, you felt ready to fully share your soul with his.
You turned your head to Neville as he yawned into his arm, staring at the coffee pot as it slowly and painfully processed the beans. You took one step closer to him, watching carefully, seeing if he would react to your odd behavior. Then another step. And another. Suddenly his arms were around your waist, your mouth going directly onto his.
At this moment, when the sun dyed his hair a shade lighter, made his eyes brighter, and his aura bewitching, your glass body shattered. You fell limp in his arms, his strength picking pinning you against the kitchen counter to support and hold you close. Your greedy mouth stole kisses at every breath you regrettably took, not wanting to waste a single moment.
Neville looked down at you, an eyebrow raised out of amusement but confusion. His face was hard to read, his smile a mask for his true feelings. You didn’t know what was the best way to flat out say you wanted him in more ways then one, but somehow the words managed to escape your lips:
“I’m ready, Neville,” You breathlessly said.
Understanding completely with your simple request, Neville hoisted you off the counter and brought you back to your place of rest. Heart and mind, you’re connected as one. Now it’s time to complete this unity and share the pleasures the body had to give. 
Neville slowly placed you back down onto the mattress, his body barely hovering above yours. His hands were stiff and uncertain, afraid of making one wrong move and destroying a moment that’s going to remain a permanent burn in his mid. The last thing he’d want to do is go up in flames and not walk through them.
His cheeks began to rise a light pink as cold fingers poked his sides. His crimson white sleeping shirt rose above his head, kisses peppering his stomach as you began to undress him first. His shyness overwhelmed you, finding it sweet that he cared enough to react in such a way.
Once his shirt was tossed to the ground, his eyes widened as he realized he had to return the favor. Slowly, his fingers began to line up with the hem of your shirt. You felt his fingernails lightly drag across the skin of your stomach as the soft cloth exposed more of your body. He stopped right before the under of your breast, hesitating. His eyes looked down at yours, waiting for the signal of approval before he could advance any further.
When he received the sign of approval, his lips began to kiss the skin that was shown. His delicate mouth grazed upon your flesh, worshipping your body. He kissed in between your breasts as the shirt tugged above and over your head, his hands falling to his pajama pants. With more eagerness to comply, he found himself naked before you. 
He let out an airy laugh, his nervousness encapsulating his being. However, he embraced it because he knew by the look on your face that read fearful content matched his own. He was overwhelmed by the amount of emotion he was undergoing and wanted your first time to be as sweet as one would hope.
He didn’t want to rush into things or scare you off, so when he tugged the blanket above his hips to hide the view of his private self, he was shocked when you pushed it back down.
You shook your head, smiling wide. “I want to see you, Neville,” You whispered, reassuring him on his insecurities and doubts. 
“And I can’t wait to see you,” He whispered back, although you found that he took his time taking off your bottom half.
You giggled as he took in a deep breath while interlocking his fingers with your panties, unlocking the invisible chastity belt you once wore. Neville looked down at you as he found his hands gripping onto yours. He lightly squeezed your hands as his lips kissed your neck, whispering into your ear about how much he loves you.
He reminded you that every part of him belonged to you. He told you that it wasn’t just fate that brought you both close but the destiny of promising past lives and future reincarnations that set in stone your souls connection.
With one final promising declaration of love and loyalty, his thickness buried deep inside you. Overwhelmed, you were the one to draw in a sharp breath this time, leaving him chuckling instead. His fingers interlocked with yours as he immediately told you that you were doing great even though he had no prior experience. 
His nose nuzzled with yours as he slowly began to gyrate his hips, getting you comfortable and settled. He whispered low that if you wanted to stop, he immediately would pull out but you refused. You knew the moment was right and you didn’t want to have it any other way. 
Neville encouraged you and put the spotlight of positive reinforcement and support directly onto you. He kissed you every time he pushed in, calling you a beauty beyond belief. 
He stiffened when you moaned his name for the first time, overwhelmed once more. He slightly whined at how much he craved you, utterly in love with the way you knew how to tempt him. He found himself calling your name too, a feeble whisper in your ear. A mixture of raspiness and lust filled your senses. 
His hands never left yours as his progression enhanced and he took full control, a gentle yet dominant movement he favored for your first time. You found yourself becoming increasingly comfortable and soon enough, the two of you released yourselves to each other.
Neville was panting by the time he came, his heart rapidly beating inside his chest. Your heartbeat followed a similar pattern, yet another connection the two of you fatefully shared. He laid on top of your for a silent minute, absorbing and soaking in the moment. He left out laugh which you proceeded to follow, the air banished from the heaviness you felt earlier that day, replacing itself with light and love.
Neville nestled himself close to your side, kissing your cheek, shutting his eyes. You stared up at the ceiling, regret never coming at all. You smiled to yourself, happy you found a partner for life.
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stinkfacestories · 4 years ago
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Strange Similarities
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Bull and you sat on some rough pillows in a huge leather tent. They were alone for now. Bull was daydreaming. Looking out a tear in the tent.
"Think I can get one of those axes?" He said. 
"Bull, I don't like being here, I don't really want to stick around longer to go shopping" You say back.
"Come on, Kadan." Bull said turning to you. "The Orcinar are strong, and so far neutral. If we can get even a few of them on our side well be kicking so much ass.."
The tent flap flew open and the Orcinar Delegater entered. He was nigh on twelve feet tall. All muscles. His skin a sallow tan and green. His retinue was somehow even bigger. They held axes that were so large you were sure Bull would be thinking of them for the next few rounds of sex with you. The masks they wore were made of dark blue cloth and hid their faces, all save for their mouths. Twin, or quad tusks jutted out from them. A thin river of drool running down them constantly.
"Welcome Inquisition." The Delegater said. "Let us commence trade negotiations.."
The negotiations went on for what seemed like hours. Topics ranged from food sharing, to Intel swapping. Bull was bored near to tears. Half way through someone brought in clay mugs and some sort of bean paste with bread and cheese and that seemed to perk up his spirits, but once the talking resumed he started to doze off. He wasn't the only one. You noticed the Delegaters guards also occasionally drifting off to sleep, only to snap back to attention when they realized what happened.
"It is settled then we will begin trade on the next —"
The silence was broken by a sound. A deep, almost far off sound. It was a low wet drone that seemed to grow in intensity. You and Bull looked around confused, but the Delegater knew exactly what it was. He looked back to his guards. One was trying to hold back a laugh, distancing him from the Delegater scowls. The other was Half asleep, leaning on a support post. You immediately realize what was going on with the hot and foul odor hit you: the slumbering orcinar guard had dozed off and farted.
The Delegater growled, throwing one of the clay cups at the guard. 
"You fool! You dishonor these talks!" He shouted. Big ropy gobs of spit flying through the air.
"Fuuuuuuuuck" Bull says with a laugh. "That was epic. Legendary even. I thought it was a low flying dragon"
The Delegater turned and arched his brow.
"I hope this does not befoul our talks" he said to you.
Before you could respond Bull put a hand in your shoulder and squeezed you into a hug. "Oh it's foul alright, but I think that just sealed the deal"
"Bull I can—"
"Kadan here fucking loves that kinda stuff." He tussled your hair. "What was it you said when we were walking to the tent?"
You blushed a little, giving the Delegater a coy smile.
"Oh wait I remember. You spotted that big brute, the one in the Kilt and told me: Imagine being under there when a big fucking orc like that decided to rip some thunder. Fucking steam tent ya"
"Bull that's not what I said." You correct him. All eyes were on you. There was too much at stake to try and play it cool. "What I said was: I wouldn't mind being trapped under there when he ripped some thunder—like a steam tent" You turn to look at the Delegater and give a weak smile. This had gone from great to worse.
The tension was thick in the air. No one was saying anything. The masks didn't help. The Delegater’s head starts to bob. Up and down up and down. Slowly, but surely his deep and dark, low and slow laugh comes through. His guards joined in. Bull joined in. You laughed too, mostly because you had no idea what was going to happen.
“You two are funny ones.” He said. “Truth be told We are not this formal” He motioned to the drinks, the nice clothing, the general set up of the tent. “The Orcinar are a humble people; who many would consider disgusting. It seems we have more in common than we first thought”
“Thank fuck for that” Bull let out a sigh of relief. He shifted in his seat and dropped a small grenade of a fart into the cushion he was sitting on. Nothing compared to what the Orcinar guard had done, but respectfully impressive. He punched you on the shoulder. “Sorry Kadan, I wasn't thinking, I should have asked if you wanted that one. Don't worry, thanks to that bean paste they’ll be plenty more on the ride home for you to enjoy”
The Delegator got off his sitting pillow and fluffed it up. “Well,” he looked back at his guard “Either of you grunts have one in the chamber so we can give our guest a little aromatherapy?” The second guard timidly raised his hand. “Good lad, get over here” The Delegator bade you to lay down on the pillow he had just fluffed up, facing upward. You did. To your surprise Bull joined your side. “I didn't think you were much on the receiving end of things, Bull” You say.
“Normally no, but to go through it with you Kadan, that will be special. Plus look at the guy, he must be fifteen feet tall and weigh as much as 9 Aurochs. This thing is going to be epic,” he said.
The guard lumbered over to you. He set aside his axe. He placed one green foot beside your head and the other beside Bull. You were looking straight up his long kilt. The light was dim but you could tell he was not wearing anything under it. “See Kadan, plenty of room for both of us,” Bull said. “Plus look at the size of those balls. Don't you just want to bounce your head off them?”  You can't help but laugh at Bull. He always had a way with pointing things out.
The Orc lowered himself to his knees. His big legs falling to either side of you. You were locked in now. They were like large fleshy tree trunks, slightly oily, thick, and near immovable. His kilt draped over you and you were put into near darkness. From the light coming in through the fabric you could make out the shape of his round yet muscular ass descending upon you. He wasn't trying to crush you-- though you feel like if he slipped he could-- but he wanted to lower himself just enough so that you could enjoy the sensation of being pressed into his flesh. His massive, hairy filled ass crack as right between you and Bull. you turned to face him. He was already looking at you. 
“Having fun Bull?” You say
“These talks just got a hell of a lot better if you ask me” He said. The heat was rising. The tent of the kilt was filled with the musky odor of the orcs undercarriage. You were sweating. Bull was sweating. The Orc was sweating; large drops of salty sweat cascading down his back through the hair of his ass. One drop landed on Bulls face causing him to blink. He licked at his lips and made an interesting face. “Well, now I can say I know what Orc-ass tastes like,” He spat. You laughed. “Think that's funny Kadan?” With a great effort Bull freed his arm and dragged it through the fleshy crack. His fingers found your mouth and he rubbed the wet digits inside it. “You know you're right,” he smiled. “It is funny to see someone drink liquid orc-ass” You'd be tasting that one for weeks.
The Orc shifted, and his guts growled. He leaned forward ever so slightly before letting out a slow and moaning roar from between his ass. The temperature in the kilt-tent shot up. The rough woven fabric was thick enough to keep the thick and humid stink inside. It was a deep and reverberating-sloppy blast. The ground thrummed under your back. Your nose burned with each breath, and to try to use your mouth to breathe was to taste the foul wind. It went on for near on a full minuet. Bull was trying to say something, but the deafening roar was all you could hear in your ears. It sputtered to an end. You felt tired. You felt as if you had just marched for three days straight. All you could smell was Orcine farts. You were drenched in sweat. You huffed for air. You were still being pressed beneath the gigantic ass. You turned to Bull. He looked a little worse for wear. “Bull. You. Are you alive?” Bull was huffing and puffing as well. “Kadan. I have never. Felt. More alive”
The Orc kept you pinned long enough to enjoy the fruits of his bowels. You couldn't tell if he was enjoying it, but he at least seemed practice in the art of making people suffer his farts. When he did get up you were not in any position to leap to your feet. You and Bull just lay there in the depression in the pillow. The Orc looked happy. Impressed even. When he went back to the other guard they locked fists triumphantly.
The Delegater loomed over you. “Well then it is settled. We shall engage in trade, and I shall send one or two of our biggest, and gassiest of Orcs to be stationed at Skyhold with you. Shall that suffice?” You looked at Bull, then back to the Delegater. “We can find room for two of them” “We had prepared a bed for you in our barracks, but I'm sure you won't want to spend the night with a bunch of rowdy Orcine warriors, so I shall have them prepare your cart for your journey home immediately.” “Well” You said, standing up. “I figure you went to the trouble of preparing the bed. It would be rude to say no.” “Excellent! Then let us seal the deal in proper Orc fashion” The Delegater hoarked back and spat a massive wad of snot into his hand. He held it out for you to shake. You looked a bit hesitant. “Nasty” you heard Bull say, clearly impressed. You reached out to shake. Your hand fully submerging in the warm slime. “Mind if I get in on this?” Bull said. The Delegater nodded. Bull, more eagerly reached out and joined your hand in the snot. The Delegater closed his fist and shook both of your hands. “Now we are bound. We are allies” “Fucking Gross” Bull said as he watched the snot ooze out of the fist. “I fucking love these guys.”
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anastasiabeaverhousen87 · 4 years ago
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Make Wise Choices:  Part 7 Cuore  Mio
The next couple of days were rough on you, filled with cold meds, soups, lots of chamomile tea  and water and you felt like your teeth were about to swim out of your mouth, but according to Alex you needed to be hydrated and tea was good for colds.
A few days after Alex had to go back to the DEO, she was needed but Kara was able to stay with you as Supergirl wasn’t required to be there, not at the moment anyways. So that’s how you found yourself at Thursday afternoon Infront of the TV with Kara next to you in the couch watching some musical. Well, Kara was watching the musical, you were engrossed on your cellphone texting away with a very goofy smile on your face.
Kara: “Is that the hot doctor your texting…again?” –
Y/N: “well, if you really must know. Yes, I’m texting Cassie”
Kara: “Cassie huh? So now you’re on nickname bases I see”
y/n: “I heard Lena called her that and I liked it, also I think Cassandra is a beautiful name, but a mouthful. And calling her hot doctor sounded a bit rude, at least for the time being”- you give a naughty smile.
Kara laughs at that and mutes the tv “You really like her, don’t you?”
y/n: “I do, I mean I feel things when I speak with her and when I’m near her. And Oh my God she is sooo beautiful. You’re not mad, aren’t you?”
Kara: “Sweet girl I could never be mad about you liking someone. Besides she really is hot. But honestly it would be kind of hypocrite from me to not approve you liking her. She is also someone very dear to Lena so that makes her even more special. So no, I’m not mad, I’m actually happy for you, you never really showed any interested in anyone like you seem to be with her. Just be careful and don’t feel pressured into something you don’t really want”
y/n: “I know, I mean I’ve dated but there was no spark, nothing there. I did fool around a little but never really liked someone to go all the way. If you know what I mean?” – you blush pink at this.
Kara: “I figured as much. You’re a lot like Alex in that aspect, you concentrate too much in your grades and other things, work. But you never really sounded super doped on anyone you dated, when mom and Alex gave you the sex talk you were almost sick thinking about it, that was funny to watch” – You throw a pillow at your sister face “Hey!!!, don’t attack me little bean. And then when you asked about sex with women you sounded more interested but still, I can tell you weren’t ready. The question is, do you feel like you are ready now?”
y/n: “I feel like I am. Truly I’ve only known her for a little while, and I know is soon. But I really like getting to know her and to spend time with her. She is amazing and so caring. I can feel getting serious with her you know. Like I can trust her, and I can share that level of intimacy. It’s weird because is so soon, but I just know it feel right. Do you think is too soon?”
Kara: “If you feel like you can open up to her, if she makes you feel safe enough, why not? you are very good at judging people’s character and I trust your judgement. I’m not gonna lie though, Cassandra being Lena’s friend and all I’ve heard from her she does sounds like a great person and I know Lena also doesn’t trust easily. So yes, that a great bonus and makes me feel more comfortable of you dating her. But I do trust you baby, you’ll know when you feel ready and what to share with her. Also, I know you won’t be able to hide who I am from her that much longer if things do get serious. When you feel ready to tell her I will support you, okay? Oh and if she ever treats you wrong I will throw her into the sun”. - she winks at you.
y/n: “Thank you Kara, that means a lot to me” – you hug your sister and you kiss her cheek while your cellphone sounds with an incoming text, you look down at your phone- “She wants to come over…” you give a small smile
Kara: “well, tell her yes. Go change into something more appropriate at least nicer pajamas. and if she does happen to make you diner again, I wouldn’t be opposed to her amazing pasta. Man, I’m so jealous of you, she cooks like a pro and if I wasn’t dating Lena or you being my sister I would totally charm my way to her, her cooking skills are so amazing. Now don’t get jealous little bean, I’m good with her being my sister in law, she still needs to get point and be on my good side. Just tell her food is the way to my heart” – you sister laughs while walking to the kitchen. “Go get change and tell your girlfriend to come over”
y/n: “You and your stomach. Crazy alien food crazed woman. And sister-in law, seriously? Let me date her first, jeez!” – you mumble while walking into your room.
You hear someone at the door, and you know is the blonde doctor, and you don’t even try to rush to the living room well aware that your bubbly sister will open the door and let her come in.
Kara: “Hello Cassandra, come on in please, y/n will be here in a moment. Y/N!!! you hot date is here!”
Dr. Sharpe: “You’ve been waiting a while to do that don’t you?” – the doctor greets the other blonde and kisses her cheeks hello.
Kara: “You have nooo idea for how long. She used to say things like that or worse when I first began to date Lena, even at the very beginning of our friendship. I’ve been waiting patiently for the time for payback! Ha…” Kara rubs her hands like a Disney villain but she honestly looks quite like the adorable golden retriever she really is.
y/n: ““Really Kara? You couldn’t wait a little longer?”- you shake your head amused and then walk to where the blonde doctor is standing, and she quickly kisses your cheeks and gives you a warm hug.
Dr. Sharpe: “Ciao Bella ragazza”-  
You blush at the words spoken by the blonde doctor
Y/n: “hello to you too gorgeous”
Kara: “Oh you guys are so cute, I can’t even…”- Your sister speaks and walks into the living room
  The three women spend the afternoon talking and the doctor even offered to make diner, much to your sister delight and happy squeal. Lena was on her way over and you got to know more of the blue- eyed doctor and you could see why Lena loves and admires Cassandra so much. She is an amazing kind and dedicated woman. You learnt that not only did the good doctor was a certificated periodontist, she had received a Master���s Degree in Oral Biology  and while in graduate school she also received the Balint Orban Award, which apparently is the highest level of certification in the field of periodontist. And that the reason Lena and the blonde woman couldn’t see each other so often was because Cassandra gives lectures all over the world on a wide range of topics including dental implants, gum grafting, cosmetic periodontal surgery, and bone regeneration. She is also the founder and program director of a dental study club whose purpose is to positively impact the quality of dental care by hosting the highest quality international speakers in the field of dentistry to speak to local dentists in different cities in the US. And in addition to that she also made multiple mission trips to countries in Latin America like Mexico, Guatemala, Venezuela among others where she has been able to utilize her skills to help the neediest of people.
To say you were amazed by the woman was an understatement, she was funny, beautiful and crazy smart. But behind all those accomplishments you could see a sadness withing her. And you felt the need to change that, to make her smile and a pull to her that you couldn’t quite understand. But you were pulled out from your thoughts when Lena spoke.
 Lena: “Sorry to cut my time short but I just got a text and I’m needed for a consult” – Lena discreetly elbowing Kara to see the text on her phone. Both her and Supergirl were needed at the DEO, so they needed to leave.
Kara: “Oh shoot, ok well let me drive you then”
And of course you couldn’t be cool about it and spoke before you could understand why they needed to leave “Kara you don’t even own a car and Lena has her own driver”- you look at your sister like she just said the stupidest thing ever. Until you recognize their looks and realized they both were needed for something important, DEO important. You curse yourself.
y/n: “Buuuut I mean I totally get it, you should go with her, you haven’t been able to spend time just the two of you because you’re been busy taking care of me. Soooo why don’t you guys leave. I´ll be okay on my own. “
Kara: “Yeah I don’t think so little one, you always forget to take your meds and…”
Lena: “If you don’t mind Cassie, can you stay for a little while with y/n ?” – Lena interrupts her girlfriend ramblings.
y/n: “Hey Lena, I thought you were on my side. I can totally take care of myself” – you pout at her
Dr. Sharpe: “I can stay, I don’t mind at all. I like spending time with you y/n”
y/n: “Yeah me too, I just find itoffensive my sister and Lena don’t think I could spend a few hours on my own. But sure stay we can watch a movie or something”
Kara: “Ha, yeah. Like last night you were so tired you fell asleep on the bathtub and knocked the shampoo inside the water and you made a huge mess with shampoo foam or you know when trying to make a chocolate shake with the blender and forgot to remove the metal spoon and you almost cut you hand when the blender broke to pieces, yeah totally you can handle yourself. Klutz!”
You gasp and look offended: “How dare you!!! Says the woman that burnt the brownies and set the microwave and toaster on fire !!! - you just childishly stuck your tongue out and pouted: “Well you make it sound like I’m the worse, thank you Kara”
Lena and the blonde doctor laugh at the antics and pouting face you make at your sister.
Lena: “I knew it was you the responsible for the toaster, Kara. That one was new”
Kara: “No, you are not the worse, but when you feel tire or sick you tend to make messes and I don’t want you alone, you haven’t completely got rid of your cold and you still under some strong meds. We just worry, you know we love you so much. And honey it was an accident I did got a new one though”
y/n: “Fine leave us now, bring back home some chocolate if you can pleaseeeee?”
Kara: “Totally my little klutz” -your sister engulfs you in a big hug and gives you a kiss to your head.  “let’s go Lena and…” – looking back at you and the blonde doctor “behave yourselves and don’t do anything I wouldn’t” – You hug ger back just as strong and let go of her.
Lena: “Come on sweetheart and leave them be”- Just rolls her eyes and walks away with the blonde superhero next to her. The door closes.
You just exhale and keep looking at the door and then your turn around to face the blonde doctor.  You are both now sitting at the couch and the blue-eyed woman is looking at you with a sweet and soft smile.
You scrunch up your nose adorably: “What?”
Dr. Sharpe: “Nothing, I just like the way you are with your sisters. You care very much and they as well. That’s nice, it reminds me of the way I used to be with my nonna and my brother” – the blonde woman face goes from fond to a little sad.
y/n: “are they in Italy?”
Her face is just so sad, and you can see a hint of tears in her eyes, and it makes your heart aches.
Dr. Sharpe: “No, they died” -you try to apologize but the blonde doctor sees that and stops you “Don’t, you didn’t know, you couldn’t. and it was a very long time ago. My nonna basically rise me and my brother. She died when I was 25 and my brother, he was my best friend. He …he uhm he was a Navy SEAL, he died in a terrorism-related mission three years ago.” – the blonde doctor just stares down at her hands trying to gain control over her emotions.
You just wanted to make her stop hurting so you did the only thing you knew you were an expert at. Hugging and cuddling people. So, you just hug her firm and strong you cling to her and try to convey through physical connection instead of words, that you are sorry, and you want to make the pain go away or at least lessen the burnt. You stay like that hugging each other and basking in the feel of each other arms.
Dr. Sharpe: “Okay, well you truly are an amazing hugger sweetheart, thank you”- the blonde woman kisses your cheek and near your mouth but not quite there. So, you take things into your own hands and sit up, throw a leg over the blonde doctor waist so you can straddle her. You put your arms around her neck and stare directly into those beautiful eyes, you really love those eyes. They are mesmerizing.
y/n: “God I really love your eyes, is like seeing the color of the sky when there’s a summer storm”.
the blonde doctor was completely still, mouth barely open and a little smirk on the corner of her mouth as she looks up to you amused loving eyes.
You took the opportunity to movie in and crush your lips against the blonde woman, who was more than happy to reciprocate. You initiated the kiss trying to control the kiss, hungrily kissing her lips, however the honey blonde had other plans, she bit down ever so slightly your bottom lip but soon you were surprised by strong arms shifting. The blonde grab ahold of your ass  and stood up with you in her arms and holding you tight against her waist  and twisted her body so you hold on just as tight and you felt yourself being lowered on the couch. The blonde had a hand behind you head, holding you were laid down flat on your back and she was hovering above you and broke the kiss but kept looking directly into your eyes.
You were just as turn on as the blonde doctor, she was looking down at you with such hunger in her eyes, and she was panting.
Dr. Sharpe: “Calm down little one” – the blonde woman lowered her face next to your ear and kissed the side of your neck – “if you keep pushing me, I won’t be able to stop”
y/n: “Well I don’t want you stop” – you tried to gain some sort of friction from the tight nestles between your legs.
Dr. Sharpe: “no?”- the blonde doctor keeps kissing your neck and jaw and you shiver in delight. You never felt this aroused by someone before. But the blonde just kissed you sweetly, you tried to hug her to bring her down on you, but the blonde kept it sweet and gentle, not really letting you get any traction in the kiss. Like an innocent sweet kiss.
You felt yourself being sat up by strong and gentle arms. She pulled you into her your legs intertwined, and she positioned you to lay on her your head being cradled in the crook of her neck and you felt another kiss this time to your temple. The blonde woman kept making soothing circles on your back with her free hand, rubbing your arm and face. You wrapped yourself even further into her.
You love cuddles and hugs, you did it all the time with your sisters and some friend, specially Lena. But this felt so different, probably the most intimate thing you ever done with anyone. You didn’t put up any fight, you felt so cozy and happy in her arms.
Dr. Sharpe: “shh cuore mio, I know you want this. But I want to take you on a proper date first I want to do this the right way, you deserve better and not rushing it in the heat of the moment” – she spoke so softly to you, that you just melted.
You kept basking in the tender touches and soft skin- “ I like it when you call me Italian pet names”
The blonde woman just smiled and kept the soothing touches.  You nuzzled you face into her neck finding that smell that was just hers, Cassandra’s and her warmth. You felt completely at peace and you felt yourself falling asleep in the most comfortable embrace. The blonde doctor kept looking at you and touching softly your back and arms, until herself felt the pull of sleep and the both were completely asleep in each other’s arms.
  Note: Well this happened, I hope you like it. 
Until next time...
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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years ago
Text
From: Cace, Jae, and Calum
Cace and Calum meet at a Christmas and for being in their mid to late twenties that’s feels right. But things change when a baby gets involved and Calum just wants his best friend to enjoy her time, especially at the holidays. 
Female OC. Uncle Cal. Baby fluff. Enjoy! 
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Calum giggles mostly to himself, his index finger wrapped up in the fist of his nephew laying on his lap. Well, he’s not technically his nephew by blood but the bond is still all the same. Calum never misses an opportunity to show off his picture to anyone that will give him the change too. Jae looks so much like Cace it’s insane but he gets it now, all the comments he and his sister used to get, and even now. Calum met Cace only two years ago while at a Christmas party thrown by someone that he can’t remember. They found each other by fate, as Cace liked to say. 
Calum had been nursing his one drink for only half an hour before flipping the switch, rather than sulking, he was going to enjoy himself. Nothing too far, or too crazy but Calum knew he was definitely going to need a ride back home and he was going to enjoy the night. And it was in that, going back for another drink that Calum tripped. Nearly face planted with someone caught him with a laugh. “Let me guess, you’re not normally this much of a klutz.”
 He laughed in return, still holding onto the girls forearms. “Give or take.” His balance returned soon, but his hold never fell away. He wasn’t sure if he had seen her around before, outside of the party. She looked so familiar. But in the drunken cloud taken over his brain he couldn’t answer his own curiosities. 
“Cace,” she states. 
“Calum.”
“And you might want a water at least one before going for whatever else tickles your fancy on this spread.” She guided him towards the drinks and snacks and quickly tossed him a bottle of water. “Drink up, buttercup.”
“Thanks,” Calum said, watching her turn to head back to the depths of the dance floor. “Hey, Cace,” he called out. When she turned, eyebrow raised and head cocked to the side, Calum had a shot prepared, raising up into the air. “Oh, don’t make a man drink alone.”
 Cace walked back over with a grin on her face. “You know it’s bad luck to cheers with water right?”
Calum’s sly grin never wavered and he pulls up a second shot prepared. “Just give me two minutes to finish this water and no bad luck for us.”
And that brought them to grabbing lunch on Cace’s breaks--while she’s no singer, she does know her way around a contract--hanging in studios, the two of them taking day trips to get away from the noise of the city. Calum would ask for advice and Cace, being a year and a half older, happily gives it. But for all the advice she can give, Cace’s track record in the dating department wouldn’t ever show for it. 
Jae kicks a little but a grin lights up his face. Calum laughs, stroking a finger along his cheek. “Hey, hey, what’s got you all giggly?” Calum’s voice is soft. The couch dips just a little next to him and Calum looks over to Cace. 
Her smile is soft but still clearly holds the exhaustion that she hasn’t been able to shake yet. “How long have I been out?”
Calum keeps a hand on Jae’s tummy before sliding back into the cushions. “Not long enough. You’re off Mum duty. Remember. Uncle Cal and Nephew Jae taking the world by storm--no mum’s allowed.”
Cace scoffs, pushing up to to glance at the clock on the wall. “By the looks of it, it’s been an hour and a half and you haven’t left my house.”
Giving Jae’s tummy a rub, Calum tries to hide his smile. “Little booger here preoccupied me.”
“Oh just admit it, he’s too stinking cute.” Cace stares down at her son, watches the way he giggles and coos at the tickle of Calum’s fingers. “Like really stinkin’ cute,” she states in a whisper. For the moment she tried not to think too much about how she could kill the son of a bitch that got her pregnant only to bolt--though Cace wasn’t sure she’d call it bolting. He had a line of women and as Cace steadily refused to give up her baby, he went onto the next. 
“I know that murdery look in your eyes. You’re exhausted. That guy’s a dick. But you have a happy and extremely healthy baby boy. Take the day, Cace. You deserve it.”
Cace sits up, folding her feet under her. “I love my son. I just wish he wouldn’t have any pain.”
“Jae’s got Uncle Cal, and Uncle Ashton, and Uncle Michael, and Uncle Luke. We’re all he’s going to need--you’ll be there for his first crush and we’ll beat up bullies.”
Cace laughs, hand rubbing gently over Jae’s head as Calum rests Jaue against his chest. “I’ll be there to beat up bullies too.” 
“I did say we,” Calum grins, the twinkling lights of her decor. Her living room’s already been decorated. He helped last weekend with that and even helped her put a tree. “You know what you need?”
“You already told me it was sleep.”
“In addition to sleep,” Calum starts. The tree’s beautiful. Cace always makes sure of that for Christmas. “You need Christmas photos in cheesy matching outfits with your baby boy and we’ll send them out to your family and make really bad Christmas ornaments and we’ll stamp Jae’s little hand on one and you’re going to enjoy this holiday season with your son and your best friend.”
“Do you remember the Christmas party we met at?” 
Calum nods. “Of course I do. And this year will be the absolute opposite of that, but it’ll be good for you, Cace.”
There’s a moment silence. Cace studying the feature of Calum’s face and Calum studying the features of her. She notices the worry on his face, the way it pulls down his lips and makes his eyes dimmer. He notices the bags, but a certain bright spot in her eyes. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. Homemade Christmas ornaments and cheesy photos. I’ll go get dressed.”
“No, no, you stay home. Rest up. I’ll go out and get what we need. Jae can tag along. He gets a vote in the really cringe onesie I buy him.”
“Cal, c’mon. Jae gets fussy sometimes and in a mood. I don’t want you have to tackle that all on your own.”
“Cace, let me do that. For you. Just one day. I know Jae, when he gets fussy I check diaper first, try the bottle second, and if that doesn’t work. you taught me the swaddle. We’ll take five and I’ll make him a cozy bean wrapped in his mum’s smelling blanket,” Calum punctuates the part by tugging on the blanket Cace snuggled up with in her sleep, which admittedly she might be just a tad too big for, “and he’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
Pushing to her knees, Cace holds Calum’s cheek in one hand. Calum didn’t have to step in. Surely, there were better things to do than go with Cace to appointments and stay home on nights when she knew the guys were out. And he helped put together the nursery. He got the guys to help him too, but Calum would be on the receiving end of 7 am phone calls to fold baby clothes and lift packages into her house when she got too big to bend over or lift anything.
 “You’re more than a girl could ever ask for, you know?”
“Good thing you didn’t ask for me.” 
Cace rolls her eyes. “Yeah, no, I called it fate. But still, I appreciate you. For everything. It means a lot.”
Calum kisses her cheek. “You’re welcome. Now, text me what size you wear and then go back to sleep. Shower first. I can smell you.”
A chuckle escapes Cace’s throat. “That’s-that’s not me, Cal.”
“Oh, Jae, buddy.”
With Jae in a fresh diaper and the diaper backpack Cace keeps packed at all times on his shoulders, Calum straps Jae into the carseat he bought for his own car. Cace told him to just use the one she had, but Calum wanted one in his car, just in case he needed it for emergencies, for Uncle and Nephew days. His phone shakes in his pocket as he connects the last buckle into the middle. “All good? Snug in there?”
Jae’s on the verge of sleep, and Calum knows the ride will lull him right into the deep sleep. Calum responds to his own question. “Yeah, Uncle Cal, I’m snug as hell. Drunk of some milk. But, oh, boy, was it good.”
I wear a XL. Still have baby weight. Who knows if I’ll loose it all. 
A sigh escapes his lips. Cace hasn’t let the baby weight fixation go. She lost some of it, but the last little bit was still holding strong. You know XL just means extra love, right?
What happened to the e then?
Xtra Love. It’s cool guy spelling. You look great. You had a baby. Give yourself some kindness.
Cool guy spelling for Cool guy Cal.
Yeah, something like that. It doesn’t shock Calum that she doesn’t respond to the other parts of his text. 
Calum makes his first venture to the craft store. It’s the furtherest stop on the agenda today, so he heads there first. Jae sleeps the majority of that stop, even with all Calum’s wondering up and down aisle he doesn’t seem bothered. Calum gathers some popsicle sticks, glue, felt, glitter, various body safe paints, string, ribbon, and everything else he can think of. He knows it’s going to be a mess, but what’s Christmas without a little bit of a glitter bomb. 
Jae sings, or as close to singing, from the backseat as the radio plays. At a red light, Calum glances back. “Huh, that was a nice nap you got in. Let’s hope your mum got the same.” 
Calum knows by the parking lot this store is going to be a bit crowded and noisy. But it’s the first one he could think off that would family matching onesies. Calum figures instead of the stroller he’ll strap Jae to his chest. Hopefully that will keep him calmer seeing as the little guy’s still not totally a fan of a lot of noise. He does alright by prolonged exposure makes him just a tiny bit fussy. 
It’s a good sign when Jae looks around, eyes bright. “Oh yeah, lots of new sights around here,” Calum states softly. The store is not as bad as he originally thought. There’s still a lot of people out and about but somehow they don’t seem to be all swarming the shopping floor. He can only imagine what the checkout line looks like, but that’s more of a worry for later--if he even finds the matching onesies. 
The speakers overhead pump Christmas music through the store. Thought Calum wouldn’t call himself big on Christmas, he finds humming along, fingers brushing along the various fabrics as he weaves through the aisles and racks. Calum gets sidetrack on his way to the Christmas displays spying an intriguing button up--it’s black with a dotted pattern. Up close he can see there’s little snowflakes instead of actual circles. 
He shouldn’t get it, but he finds his size and figures he’ll hold onto it and debate whether or not he’s going to give into the impulse buy. Returning back to his assigned course, Calum debates if he’s going to go for the reindeer onesies or if he’s going to go for the ones decorated in various trees. “Your mum’s going to kill me if I show up with reindeer onesies, but you’d be cute. Maybe death ain’t so bad.” 
It takes a few minutes to consider all the options though, checking out what’s available in all the sizes they’d need. Calum catches the tiny whine Jae starts up with and soothing bounces him. “Okay, bud, I got it. I’ll be quick.”
Calum hopes death comes swift as grabs the reindeer onesies. Calum rushes over to the baby section. He knows without a doubt there are Christmas onesies hanging out. And sure enough, with only a two minutes search, Calum is able to grab Jae a matching outfit too and turns for the registers. On his trek, Calum does put back the button up--he doesn’t need it at the time being. 
The line is long. Jae’s settled for the time being, but Calum knows it might not take much to set him off. The cashier’s seem to be working fast so Calum risks it. He steps into line with a deep exhale. The first couple of minutes is goes by without a problem. And he manages to inch up just a little. However, by the time they get halfway through the life, Jae’s earlier whines start back up. 
Softy, Calum shushes him, running his free hand up and down Jae’s back. “It’s okay.” If this doesn’t work, Calum will just abandon the line and hope once Jae’s settle he can find the outfits again. 
 For a minute Jae seems to be settling and the line shuffles up again. However, they seemingly get stuck under/near a speaker hidden in a ceiling tile because the beef between Heat Miser and Snow Miser gets louder and that in turns sets off Jae. A cry spills from his throat. Not ideal, but Calum looks to see how many people are behind him--there’s only a few in front. But the sound of Jae’s cries tells Calum not to push it. 
“I gotcha, I gotcha,” Calum whispers to Jae, turning and shimmying past the people in line. He mutters a few apologies and though, he would normally find the rack to place the clothes back on, Calum doesn’t want to take too long in case this is a diaper change cry. 
“I know loud noises aren’t a favorite of yours, buddy. We’ll get somewhere quieter, promise.” 
Free from the line, Calum shuffles to the bathroom. “Alright, let’s see what’s causing these tears.” It’s partially a diaper change. Though in a clean diaper, Jae doesn’t settle completely. “Hungry?”
It doesn’t hold interest. Calum tries a few other things before just resigning to the fact that it might’ve been sensory overload on Jae’s part. Calum drags Jae’s blanket over his shoulder  and nestles him into it. Holding him close to his chest, Calum slips the backpack back onto his shoulder. “Okay, we can go chill out in the car. Try another store--hopefully less crowded.”
The cries haven’t completely stopped but they have faded. Calum doesn’t even glance over to where he stuck the onesies. They’re not important right now, an always be attained at some other point. Right on the mat that leads out of the store, Calum catches some voice shouting, “Sir!”
He doesn’t stop, assuming it’s someone trying to reach someone else. however, another, “Sir!” fills the air and Calum slows, turning his head. He doesn’t spot anyone at first, well not anyone that he recognizes are seems to be trying to get his attention but on a second pass over the faces, an older woman at the register holds up a bag. 
“Me?” Calum questions, readjusting Jae quickly and tucking him more into his chest and neck. 
The woman waves him over, before quickly turning back to the cashier. Calum steps a step forward, still unsure of what’s happening. He doesn’t know her. He thinks she might’ve been in the line either in front or behind him, but he doesn’t really know at all. 
“Is-is everything okay?” Calum tries to see what’s in the bag and then mentally runs through his mind of what he could’ve dropped in line. All the bags from the craft store are in the truck. His phone and wallet are in his pockets, along with his keys. 
“I should be asking the little one that,” she grins. Calum studies her face. He’d figure forties at the latest, two younger kids at her side. He wishes he did know her, then this would make this last strange. “Double check that these are all that you needed. Two adult onesies and then one for the baby, right?”
Calum’s heart nearly drops to his ass. “Wh-What?”
“Check that it’s all right,” she returns holding out one bag. The two kids hold bags of their own. “I don’t know if you were getting anything else, all I saw you put back were the onesies.”
“I-I can’t.” Jae wriggles in his arms and Calum sighs for a moment before bouncing him gently. “You really didn’t have to.”
“Well, now, I don’t have to do anything, you’re right. But I wanted too. I’ve been down this road. And the fact that you put your son above all, besides, it’s Christmas.”
Calum doesn’t even think to correct her thoughts on Jae instead he peeks inside the bag to see three outfits and a receipt. “Ma’am, really, I-I don’t know what to say. Thank you. I-I can pay you back.” Calum fumbles for a second to reach his wallet but she stills him with pat on his arm and a smile. 
“No need sweetheart. Take care of that handsome one and enjoy your holidays.” With that, she takes a hand of each of the kids with her and then continues on past. 
Calum watches her, unsure if it’s real or not. Unsure if he’s really living this. Someone, possibly a manager, comes down to the register he’s standing in front of. “Everything okay, sir?”
“I-yeah. Maybe a Christmas miracle?” he exhales facing them. 
It’s another woman with a smile. “She’s a regular here. Does stuff like this all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The second you got out of line, she was on it trying to get the stuff you put down.” Lined on the front of the registers are a line of gift cards. No good deed should go without something good in return. 
He grabs one quickly. “Can I put 50 on this?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” The question clearly comes as a surprise. Calum knows by now in all his shock he’s not likely to find the woman in the parking lot. As the machine asks him to remove his card, Calum instructors them to use it for the next person in line. 
“You sure?”
He nods. “Yes, I’m very sure. Thank you, for taking me.” He grabs the bag and hurries back through the door. 
“You really bought reindeer onesies?” Cace sighs, peering into the bag. 
Jae sits in a rocker nearby. The moment Calum got him into the car his nerves completely settled and he went back his is normal bubbly self. Calum gulps down a third of the glass of water. “I didn’t buy it. But yes, reindeers.”
“What do you mean you didn’t buy them?”
“The line was long and I got stuck under the speaker in the store. Jae had been getting a tiny fussy beforehand but the music was the tipping point. So I stepped out of line. Just as I got Jae mostly settled, I figured I’d take him out to the car let him completely reset basically before trying again to snag the clothes. A woman in line saw me leave with him and she paid for it. One of the managers or something said she does stuff like that all the time.”
“She what?”
“Yeah, she paid for it while I in the bathroom. I guess the line was moving faster than I thought but I didn’t want to just ignore Jae, so I just made the call to leave line.”
“A Christmas miracle,” Cace returns. 
“Something like that. Did you rest well?”
“I didn’t wake up until you called and said you were on your way. So yes, much needed.” Leaning into the kitchen table, Cace uses her foot to add extra bounce for Jae. “I noticed there’s a second adult onesies in there.”
“Sue me. I wanted in on cheesy photos too.”
“Good thing phone cameras come with timers,” she grins. “Sticking around for arts and crafts too? I gotta feed Jae in another half an hour. Or am I still in Mum jail?”
“I’ll stick around. But you’re still in Mum jail, so that means I make Jae’s ornament--you sip on the non-alcoholic bubbly and gingerbread cookies you bought.”
“I do vote pictures first. Because there’s bound to be a mess.”
“Nah, it’ll be fine.” It can be that much of a mess, especially if Calum doesn’t bother with glitter. 
“You say that now,” she laughs. “But if you think there won’t be a mess, be my guest. I’m going to sip on non-alcoholic bubbly, eat gingerbread cookies, and enjoy this show.” 
Cace pops open the white grape sparkling juice and a fancy wine glass. Her second trip into the kitchen is for the tin of cookies--actually full of cookies--and settles at the kitchen table. She sits opposite of Calum’s ornament crafting setup. And it takes him until Cace has to feed and rather than fussing about with moving to another room, she drapes the privacy blanket over. The amusement is settled in deep on her face as she watches Calum try to sketch out his design. 
“I will say, I’m glad you’re a musician,” she teases. 
“Ya know what, not everyone can have a Dad who’s like a world renowned artist.”
“Tattoo artist, and trust me the drawing gene skipped me.”
Calum scoffs. “Then you’re talking a lot shit for a non-drawing-gene. But that does explain who you got into legal things.”
Her laughter is sharp. “Something like that. Though I think it might be more about me liking raining on some parades. Besides, who else can you call that will scare your team at just a name-drop?”
Calum points the pen cap in her direction with a nod. “I never suspected that you’d shake grown men to their core. But just the casual mention of you and you’d think they’d seen ghosts.”
Cace winks, readjusting the burping blanket. “I have that effect sometimes.”
“Can I burp him?”
“You’ve stolen my son!”
“Oh c’mon, I’m his Godfather.”
“You now Godfather Cal has a certain ring to it.” Cace turns down her mouth into a frown, dropping the octave in her voice, as she hoists Jae onto . “You come into my house on the day of my daughter’s wedding.”
Calum giggles at her impression but doesn’t push on the burping request. “I still prefer Uncle Cal. Easier to say.”
It’s as Calum can only watch the paint splatter onto the page does he immediately regret not taking Cace’s advice and taking photos first. Jae continues to hammer into the paint and thankfully, Cace doesn’t lose her head about messes. But Calum can only imagine what the green paint is going to look like against her yellow walls. 
“Jae, c’mon, work with me,” Calum sighs, lifting his tiny hand and then presses onto the felt. “Your Mum’s going to murder the both of us. But very slowly.”
Cace gasps from the end of the table. “I can hear you you know! I wouldn’t kill either one of you. Just tell you I told you so, repeatedly. Until you’d wish I have of killed you.”
“Just be glad I decided against opening the glitter.”
“Why would you buy glitter, Calum?” 
“I don’t know. I was in a craft store. I blacked out and when I came to, there was glitter in my basket.”Jae watches the exchange and slams a hand with paint onto the table. Calum’s sigh is audible and she watches him deflate in the chair. “It’ll come out I promise.”
“Or it doesn’t and I can forever mark that as the spot that Uncle Cal and Jae DIY’ed Christmas ornaments and when I’m old and nothing but skin and bones, I’ll pass the table onto him for his kids to make arts and crafts on and it becomes a legacy.”
Calum feels the wet hand on his chest through his t-shirt and cringes. Cace continues on. “Or what doesn’t come out is that stain on your shirt and you forever think twice about not listening to me. The pictures will be a story to remember. When my dad ask me why does Jae have a green nose and I tell him before pictures were taken he and Calum made ornaments and I advised ornaments second but Calum wanted to do that first and I scrubbed my son down as best as I could, but you know how green paint is.”
“You are not helping,” Calum whispers. 
“Oh, no, I’m not. But you’re right. I needed Mum jail.” Her raised eyebrow and pointed sip from her glass tells Calum he’s going to be the one cleaning up and only him. 
He doesn’t want her to be right. But even after ornaments are left to dry and he scrubs down Jae there is still a bit of residue, a hint of what color once took up residency on his skin that don’t completely fade reminds Calum to maybe listen to Cace since she’s the one dealing with a baby day in and day out. Though Calum would’ve liked to think he was a pretty good second. He’s there for a lot but there might be some things he hadn’t had to think through just yet on the whole baby front. 
His t-shirt is ruined and the battle of baby vomit vs t-shirts should’ve warned Calum to not wear anything he holds too precious. But clothes are just clothes in the grand scheme of things. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Jae.”
Calum gets him into the onesie and settles him into the rocking seat to see what he can do about the wall. The table made it with very minimal damage and Calum’s sure with another passover the little that does remain will come out. Cace kneels on the floor, a bucket beside her and the sounds of scrub hits his hears. “Hey, Mum jail, remember,” Calum returns. 
“Oh, I couldn’t let you suffer for that long without helping. I’ll probably have to repaint in some points, or I wait until he gets way older and just let whatever mess he creates exist and possibly turn it into some masterpiece.”
“You said the art gene skipped you.”
She laughs. “I did say possibly. As in an option.”
“I can help you repaint next week.”
“Wanna borrow one of my--what did you call it, an ultimate robe?”
“What are you on about?”
“Undershirt. I call them a white beater. You’ve got tons of them. You called it the ultimate robe in an interview once.”
“You said you didn’t watch those.”
“I don't normally. I saw a clip.”
“And you remembered from how long ago?”
Cace shrugs, dipping her rag into the water at her side. “Who knows at this point? You’re lucky I still remember my own name.” 
The thing Calum’s learned about Cace is that’s it’s true. She can hardly ever remember things about herself, but she’s always got it together for those around her. And that’s why he pushed for her to take today--because she needed the time for herself. And even if it’s hard because of a baby he still wants to be the one there for her. He would always have her back. He’d buy cheesy matching onesies and hold bells behind the camera to get Jae to look up and he’d fake pose decorating an already decorated Christmas tree and he’d hoist Jae into his arms and tickle the little boy’s side and he’d take the most unflattering pictures of Cace only to make it up with the most flattering ones right after if it meant that at the end of it all, she knew he had her back. 
Cace reclines into Calum’s side, Jae seated in her lap. The phone’s still counting down but she’s not worried about that. She looks up, watching Calum watching her. “I’m not the camera,” he teases. 
“Nah, but you’re a close second.” 
Calum kisses the top of her head, mostly aware of the shutter of the camera. “I’ll take that. Though I should be number one. Now actually face the camera once I set this up again.”
“No promises,” Cace laughs. Though she does look at the camera the second time. She can faintly see the slightly out of focus string lights on the trees. And inside the square it’s bound to be picturesque. There’s no walls with green paint or t-shirts ruined, or still open can of cookies that she absolutely thought she had covered and put back up. And maybe it’s okay if perfection only exist inside that square. And maybe it’s okay if her house is a mess and she’s a mess, and Calum’s a mess because at least she had the few people that cared around still.
********
Joy hadn’t anticipated seeing Calum’s handwriting on a letter just yet. His card usually came with him in person. But she doesn’t let the curiosity simmer too long and flips over the white envelope to pop the golden sticker holding it close.  A beautiful white, gold and green card greets her, with Merry Christmas on it. 
When she open the card, a couple photos slip down and she can see the black ink with Calum’s telling handwriting. She spies Cace and Jae standing in front of a tree, a decorating dangling in her hand. The second photo is Cace, Calum and Jae seated on the floor, smiling with the twinkling lights fading in the background. There’s a third of Calum and Jae too. All three of them matching with reminders antlers poking out from the hood of their pj’s. 
The typography of the inside of the card is the same as the outside, Season Greetings. But just above it is a note, from Cace, Jae, and Calum. And then just below the standard greeting of the card is more from Calum. 
Hi Mum, 
I know this card normally comes with me attached but I didn’t want to forget to send these pictures. 
I made Cace take a day and partially it was successful. Another part was disastrous. Disaster struck with paint and ornaments but I know you said you wanted more pictures of Jae too. These felt appropriate. He’s getting bigger, like everytime I blink he’s in a new size. I don’t know how Cace does it. How she just watches him everyday and doesn’t worry that time is moving too fast. Maybe she does worry and does her best just to focus on the day at hand. I don’t know how you did it with Mali and me. I’m sure it was the same thing--everyday just us shooting up with almost no end in sight. You’ll be happy to know Cace and Jae are doing well too. She started work again and takes him most days. Some days she drops him off at a daycare. He seems to handle it well for now. Soon, she says she’ll be dropping him off more than half the week at the daycare. So we’ll know for sure how Jae feels about that when that happens. 
Send me some Oz summer. I wasn’t sure I was ready to jump into onesies just yet and even after this pictures, I still don’t think I am. Love you and miss you. 
Calum. 
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imagine-organization-xiii · 4 years ago
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Oh yes, this is still open! What kind of spouse are the org members?
Xemnas -
Can you say sugar daddy - but like not really. Xemnas takes his role as provider seriously, so you’ll want for nothing when he’s around.
Quiet nights and stimulating conversation. Arm chairs in front of the fireplace with wine in one hand and a book in the other, sitting in companionable silence. He is an overwhelming, encompassing guy, but he values his privacy and intimacy just as much as values being around you.
Basically your equal in all things so don’t act like you’re better than him and don’t look down on yourself because you’re worthy of his support and attention. He values your time and your intelligence - don’t make him regret it.
Xigbar -
That spouse who is always ready for an adventure, but he doesn’t need to be because everywhere you go with him is in adventure! A hike in a forest or biking in the mountains is just as exciting as a trip to the grocery store or a run to the fast-food drive-thru
Intimacy and sex are two different things, but sex is definitely a form of intimacy for him. He loves being with you in that way and OFTEN, but he makes it fun with laughter and jokes, you know?
Dirty rat man soft for sweet sunshine s/o who could probably murder him and he’d be like yeah thank you; basically he’s a sucker for a powerful partner
Xaldin -
Xaldin falls hard and he falls fast, so expect unwavering loyalty from him. If you care for him and love him and treat him well, he’ll be forever yours.
Giant bear husband standing in defense of his s/o at all times? Absolutely. He knows you can defend yourself and he loves WATCHING you defend yourself, but let him show off his muscles every once in a while so you can ogle him and let him feel a bit smug
Always exciting with him. He likes trying new things so you’re always doing something fun, but there are also days where he likes to just spend time with you at home. Even the most boring days can be fun when he’s around
Vexen -
An intelligent husband who will never leave you lacking in stimulating conversation. You are always learning something new and exciting when he’s around.
Shared science experiments together? Yes, please, let him teach you and guide your hand, it will be a great experience for both of you and you’ll probably end up teaching him a lot too, along the way
Also infuriating and unyielding, which will probably lead to some arguing on occasion, but rest assured that if you can prove him wrong with something? His already high attraction to you will go up like 80%
Lexaeus -
The opener of Jars and the killer of spiders and cockroaches, but also the guy who likes warm bubble baths and cuddling; a gentle giant through and through and no one can tell me otherwise
No qualms in doing household chores, but also likes doing chores with you because it feels like a bonding experience
Doesn’t talk much, but he is a GREAT listener. Will ask questions at appropriate times so you know he’s paying attention and will offer you advice when you need it.
Zexion -
He sometimes gets embarrassed about his own interests but don’t let that stop either of you from enjoying each other’s company or doing things together. He’s into some cool stuff so you don’t want to miss out.
He also likes learning about what you like and will go out of his way to explore and do research so he can spark new conversations! He’s a sweet boy who would be a sweet partner even though he’s inexperienced
He’ll get in moods sometimes so don’t be surprised about that; he’s an introvert so he likes being alone and company can be stifling at times, but don’t take it personally. You can both use some time to yourself so take advantage of it when you can!
Saix -
Saix is a lot like Xemnas in the sense that he likes being a provider. He enjoys knowing that you trust him enough to rely on him.
He’s very task-oriented. When the two of you plan out date nights, it’s on a schedule. When it’s time to work, it’s time to work. There will be time for goofing off later, so focus on the task at hand and enjoy what time you can get with him. Don’t be too offended if he brushes you off when you try to kiss him while he’s working - he doesn’t like leaving things unfinished, so just be patient and he’ll make it up to you
Business-man in the streets, wild animal in the sheets. Never leaves you unsatisfied and always willing to try something new, within reason.
Axel -
A playful partner that loves to see you smile. There will be no tears when you’re with Axel!!! Tears give him hives so he will do his best to try and make you laugh even if it means causing bodily harm to himself. He hates it when you’re sad.
Every day is fun! There aren’t any boring moments with Axel because his brain is always working on overdrive. It’s hard to keep up with him sometimes so there will absolutely be moments where you need to sit him down and tell him to chill out for a bit, but you can rest assured that your relationship with never be tedious
Being with him also means being with his friends - who are your friends, too! Friends are important to Axel and it’s important to him that you can hang out with Roxas and Xion when he does without it getting awkward. He’s happy to call you a friend, too, before he even refers to you as his ‘partner
Demyx -
Demyx is a gift giver, but it’s not like... huge extravagant gifts. It’s more along the lines of the idea that he just so happens to be at the market and he saw a hat that he thought you might like so he decided to get it for you for no reason other than the fact that it made him think of you
Duets? Absolutely. I feel like this pretty much goes without saying. He loves singing with you and enjoys hearing you belt out a tune when you’re in the shower or walking down the hallway or just playfully dancing with him in your bedroom
He can be an awkward bean when it comes to serious situations. He doesn’t like things to be too stern or serious because he doesn’t really know how to deal with it emotionally. He’ll suffer through it, but don’t be surprised if he tries to diffuse the tension by making a joke or something when you’re trying to talk about something important
Luxord -
the well-educated, refined husband with a wild streak. Luxord is like two different sides of the same coin. One one hand, he’s there if you need intelligent conversation, quiet mornings with cups of tea, curled up on the couch in front of the fire with old books. On the other hand, he can also absolutely be that husband who’s always up to something, naughty and mischievous and definitely knows more than he lets on.
He cares about you, so don’t worry. You’ll probably be in on his schemes, too, if not helping him create those schemes. He loves having you as a partner in crime.
The accent is also a plus, too, so you can brag to all your friends that your partner has a sexy accent
Marluxia -
Brings you flowers every day. You’ll wake up to large bouquets in front of your face and on the bathroom counter and don’t even get me STARTED on the amount of flowers you’ll receive on holidays and your birthday.
You want to be wined and dined and romanced? Marluxia is your best guy. He is always ready to pamper you and he’s always at like Level 100 with that shit, so be ready to be APPRECIATED IN ALL WAYS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT
He smells nice, too tbh so he understands if you want to just curl up on top of him and press your face into his hair
Marluxia is a hopeless romantic. He makes every moment special, but make sure you take the time to romance him, too! Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Larxene -
A++ wife material, best wife ever and your equal in all things. she doesn’t want someone to protect her and she doesn’t want someone who will cower behind her. you’re partners, first and foremost
Doesn’t mind being the shoulder to cry on but is always ready to kick someone’s ass, too, so just let her know if you want to be comforted or if you’re looking for revenge because she’ll be standing right with you no matter what.
Has a healthy sex drive and is full on a top so be prepared to get your world rocked at all times. She’s so gorgeous and amazing that you can’t believe how lucky you are to even have the opportunity to be around her
Roxas - 
Not used to positive and healthy relationships in general so he may not do anything if you try to take advantage of him, but you can bet your ass that Xion and Axel are keeping a close eye to make sure that you’re treating him right because he treats you like royalty
He’s ready for whatever you want to do! Isn’t picky with activities, events, etc. He’s honestly just happy to be included in whatever you’re doing
That being said, he’s always so shocked that you want to spend time with him? Like sometimes you have to remind him “Roxas, we’re dating, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t want to spend time with you” and he’s just like :O
Xion -
the sweetest s/o you could ever have. She always puts your needs first even when she shouldn’t, so you’ll never have a problem if she has a say in it. She wants you to be happy and your happiness makes her happy!
BUT NO, she has to be happy too so you spend a lot of time helping her understand that she has every right to be happy and content and that she deserves to have good things in her life
lots of cuddles! lots of hugs and sweet kisses on the cheek or forehead or the nose. she’s shy about displays of affection, so you’ll be moving slow and steady, which isn’t a bad thing
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a-lockman5 · 5 years ago
Text
Things were different now. {Devi x Paxton}
A/N: Whoop! My first attempt at writing Paxton/Devi. Requested! (eeee!) Canonically accurate. I did not proofread so if it sucks I’m sorry. IF I SUCK, I’M SORRY. 
Also checkout my masterlist! Please request more!
Warnings: Fluff/angst, (that’s it, I think?)
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“Devi, hi!” her voice came over the receiver.
“Hey!” Devi chimed back. “How’d you get my number?”
“Paxton gave it to me, of course. I have good news; I was accepted to FIDM!”
Eleanor and Fabiola looked at Devi questioningly, but she just shook her head as she rose from the table and went outside. They were at Fabiola’s house studying for their chemistry test.
“That’s amazing, but of course you did! They’d be stupid not to accept you!”
“I’m so happy! We’re celebrating tonight and Dad told me to invite whoever I wanted.”
“Great! You’ve earned it, Becca.”
“Thanks! Do you think you can come?”
“What?”
“Come to dinner! I never could have made it this far without you. You have to celebrate with me!”
“Uhh…”
***
“Who was that? Your mom?” Eleanor asked.
“No, it was my friend Becca.”
“Paxton’s sister, Becca?” Fabiola asked incredulously. Devi had finally told her friends the details of the photoshoot the day Eleanor’s mom left. She’d explained how Paxton did not trust many people around his sister, and that Devi had met her only by circumstance. When Becca needed someone to save her photoshoot for her portfolio, Paxton had few people he felt he could call.
“She got accepted to the fashion program.”
“Yeah, but have you” –
“No, not once,” Devi cut Eleanor’s question off. “I haven’t talked to him since he blew me off after Ben’s party.”
She had not told her friends about the voicemail Paxton left her on her dad’s birthday. She hadn’t even told anyone Paxton kissed her. Things were different now though, weren’t they? After making amends with her mom and spreading her dad’s ashes, Devi found Ben asleep in Mr. Gross’s car. He was waiting for her… he stayed for her to make sure she was okay. She hadn’t considered Shira in that moment like she had the night of his birthday party. Devi had been so consumed by what must have seemed like a small gesture to Ben but was monumental to her.
She’d felt so abandoned by so many people during the last few weeks, but not Ben. Ben Gross. If you’d told Devi a month ago that she would kiss Ben Gross in his father’s car by the beach in Malibu, she’d have died of laughter. Things were different now though. Ben had been there for her, opened his home to her, brought her friends back to her, delivered her to what was probably the most important event of her life to date. If that wasn’t love, what else could it be?
After their moment in Malibu, Ben went straight to Shira to end their relationship. Reportedly, there was no love lost on Shira’s end. Ben did say she’d been surprised, but not particularly upset. After that, he and Devi were together. No real discussion – not that they’d needed one. Ben was texting her the next day, telling her the details of their first date. They’d gone to miniature golf, and then for pizza. Ben actually had the good humor to take her to the pizza parlor where he’d met TheRealPickleRick69. They’d shared a laugh and it was a perfectly pleasant evening.
She’d never had a boyfriend before. She had nothing to compare her first relationship to, but Ben was nice. He didn’t bicker with her in class the way they’d used to. He studied with her during lunch. He brought her gifts every so often. They’d talk at night before bed, but only texting. Her mother didn’t know they were dating, but instead thought they had struck a competitive friendship. It was better that way. They were allowed to spend more time together. Things were different now, but they were good.
“What’d she want?”
“She invited me over for dinner,” she told them as she picked at her fingernails.
“What did you say?” Fabiola asked. Devi didn’t respond, only continued to stare at her hands.
“Devi!” her friends exclaimed in unison.
“You can’t do that!”
“What would Ben say?”
“Listen,” Devi held her hand up, “Becca is my friend, and this is big! How would you guys feel if I blew you off after you got into” –
“Cal Arts”
“Berkeley”
“Exactly,” she nodded at each of her friends’ aspirations. “You guys taught me I need to be a better friend. That means supporting my friend while she goes after her dream!”
“Okay… but what are you going to tell Ben?”
***
“Devi?”
“Paxton, hi,” she tried to say casually.
“Hey, I didn’t” –
“Coyote girl!” Trent appeared in the doorway. “What is up? I haven’t seen you since that rich guy’s party.”
“You saw me in history yesterday, Trent.”
“Oh yeah, that was you!” he laughed. “What are you doing here?”
“She’s here for dinner,” Rebecca said from deeper inside the house. “I invited her.”
Paxton glanced over his shoulder before looking back at Devi. He frowned slightly and his tongue swept across his top lip as he gaze searched hers for a moment. “Yeah, of course, I should have guessed. Come on in, Vishwakumar.”
It reminded her of that party at Trent’s – the one that had ended in Paxton driving her to the hospital. He and Trent had been surprised to see her that night too, but Paxton was much happier to see her then. She stepped across the threshold as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.
*Hey, quiz me for geography?*
She had chosen not to say anything to Ben about dinner at Paxton’s. Not that she wouldn’t… she just didn’t beforehand. Things were so new and she didn’t want to start a fight over nothing. Because it would be over nothing. She was celebrating her friend, that was all. It didn’t need to be a big deal. Still, she pocketed her phone again after putting it on ‘do not disturb.’
“Thanks for coming!” Becca enveloped her friend in a hug. “I can’t believe I got in.”
“I can,” Devi said genuinely. “I’d kill to have your clothes in my closet!”
“If I remember correctly, you tried to steal some of her clothes,” Paxton grinned at them. Devi’s eyes snapped to his, and she didn’t know what to say so she just grinned back.
“So this is the Devi we’ve heard so much about!” she heard a man’s voice from the kitchen. When she turned, her eyes met the warm smile of a tall Japanese man and a shorter blond woman kind brown eyes. She saw the resemblance between them and Paxton immediately.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hall-Yoshida, it’s nice to meet you,” she smiled. “I brought some assorted chocolates, my mom would kill me if I didn’t.”
“Yes! I remember Paxton mentioning you are an excellent guest,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida said, graciously taking Devi’s gift. Paxton’s ears turned pink at his mother’s words.
“Devi, come see my acceptance letter!” her friend pulled her out of the awkward encounter.
Devi read the letter aloud and watched as Becca beamed at her. “This is seriously so cool. I can’t wait to see your work on runways, in stores, you’re one boss woman, Becca.”
“Now, come on, everybody sit. It’s Becca’s favorite tonight.”
“Tacos!” she cried cheerfully.
“We have black beans or tofu if you’re vegetarian though,” Mr. Hall-Yoshida assured Devi.
“I’m supposed to be,” she nodded, “but I’m not always great at doing what I’m told.”
Paxton chuckled at his plate as Trent nodded next to him. “Yeah, this girl tried to wrestle a coyote! She does not follow any rules.”
“Right, my boy took you to the hospital that night, right? Isn’t that when you first met?”
“No, Devi came over before that. They were already hanging out.”
“Yeah, we had to partner up with Trent for a school project,” Paxton said, glaring at his sister. “We spent some time together then too.”
“And then of course, Becca’s photoshoot. The reason we’re all here,” Devi said trying to divert attention from her and Paxton’s… relationship? Friendship? Were they even friends at this point? Ben’s party, the night they kissed, was more than three weeks ago, and Devi never brought up his voicemail after she and Ben got together. They hardly looked at each anymore, even when they were in the same class.
“Devi, we always have fun when you’re here,” Becca told her. “You and Paxton should hangout here so I can see you more.”
Devi felt herself wince. She glanced at Paxton, who was busying himself with constructing a taco with a practiced stare. Did Becca really not know they weren’t hanging out? That would certainly explain why she let her walk right into this awkward evening.
“I don’t see why it has to be me and Paxton, Becca,” she tried to say with good humor. “You and I are the ones that have fun. We’ll just let Paxton keep hanging out with Trent. Who needs him, right?”
Everyone at the table laughed, except Paxton. Devi noticed he’d not looked up from his plate since getting his taco prepared. Was he actually hurt? He was Paxton Hall-Yoshida! He could have any girl he wanted, why was he being so weird?
“Yeah, dude, you don’t need the ladies when you’ve got me,” Trent elbowed his friend. “Mrs. H-Y, will you pass the tofu?”
“I didn’t know you were vegetarian, Trent,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida replied, passing the tofu down the table still.
“I’m not, but my mom is, and I just have mad cravings for tofu!”
Devi couldn’t help but smile then, and it looked like neither could Paxton. Who knew Trent would be such a good buffer? So many times over the last couple months, Devi wished that Trent was not around and she could just talk to Paxton without having ‘Coyote Girl’ shouted in her face. She knew he meant well, Trent was a nice guy once you moved past his inability to read a room. Besides, it looked like that very same shortcoming would be what made this evening bearable.
“Actually, I will take the black beans too. Thank you for thinking of me.”
“Of course! Honestly, I did not know that many of those practicing Hinduism are vegetarian. My father is Shinto as I was raised. Paxton said that vegetarianism isn’t required in Hindu culture, but it is thought to be a form of body purification. Is that true?”
Devi looked at Paxton again, though he continued to avoid her gaze. When had he learned all that? Did she even tell him she was Hindu? Sure, they talked the day of Ganesh puja, but did she ever actually tell him she was a practicing Hindu? Maybe she did. She did have a tendency to ramble and lose track of her sentences. She finally tore her gaze from him to meet his father’s eye again. “Yes, generally speaking. In my mother’s house, it is expected. It’s not as common as it used to be, but traditionally the consumption of meat is considered sinful and we’re to have a responsibility to limit harm to other life forms – ya know, cows, chickens, goat. Plants are alive too, but my mom doesn’t take to that argument well.”
The table laughed again, and Devi felt herself start to relax. This wasn’t so bad. So she and Paxton kissed one time. Things didn’t have to be weird. She could still be friends with Rebecca and enjoy time in the Hall-Yoshida house. This was nice.
“So how are things with Gross?” She finally heard Paxton’s voice again.
Fuck.
“Uh..” Devi hesitated. She looked at Rebecca, who looked confused at her brother’s question, and then back at Paxton. His face was hard, smooth.. effortlessly cool. “They’re good, actually. I don’t know if you remember, but I got in a really big fight with my mom a few weeks ago. Ben was really there for me. I guess it made sense all along for us to end up together. I’m really happy.” She punctuated each word with an equally cool gaze at the boy she’d pined for for years.
She saw Paxton’s jaw set. “Good. Glad to hear it. You deserve it.”
Silence descended. Devi felt her anxiety spike. Why did he have to bring up Ben? And why did it feel like everyone knew how uncomfortable the situation became when he did it? Why was he trying to ruin dinner?
“Oh, Gross!” Trent said after what felt like an hour of silence. “I saved that dude’s life once! Man, you should have seen the crater on his face that day. Lucky I was there.”
Devi nodded at Trent slowly, not even able to begin to decipher what he was talking about. “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”
“You know where it is,” Paxton shot back, eyes on his plate again.
She didn’t respond. Instead she found herself shut in the bathroom with her back against the door as quickly as she could. A deep sigh escaped her as she pushed her hair out of her face. Maybe she should just go. This was a bad idea. She shouldn’t have come. You know what? No! she thought to herself. I am being a good friend to Becca. Paxton is the one who blew me off. If he’s mad about me being with Ben, then he should have thought of that before not speaking to me for a week.
Devi pulled her phone out of her pocket then and had several missed calls and text messages from Ben.  He wanted to know why she wasn’t answering. It didn’t take long for him to start spiraling. Had he said something to upset her at school today? Did she not need to study for geography? Was she with Fabiola and Eleanor? He thought they liked him, why wouldn’t they let her talk to him? Was she rethinking things with him? Devi rolled her eyes impulsively but felt guilty as soon as she realized. She typed him a quick reply before putting her phone away again.
*Mom took my phone away. I found it but I have to leave it here so I don’t get in bigger trouble. Talk to you tomorrow.*
After washing her hands, Devi returned to the table. Some of the tension seemed to dissipate in her absence, but she still consumed her meal quietly unless she was directly spoken to. It felt safer that way. Trent kept Becca and her parents in stitches, and it almost felt like Devi and Paxton weren’t even at the same table.
After dinner, Becca requested root beer floats for dessert, and was eagerly helping her father. Trent had needed to leave because he had to get his evening workout in. So Devi and Paxton were sat as far from each other as possible on the couch in the living room with the TV on. She was trying not to look at him but she couldn’t help notice his fingers tapping on his thigh. It took her straight back to riding in his car the night of Ben’s party. The night he kissed her – what, at the time, was the happiest moment of her life. Things were different now though. Right?
She looked to his face to find he was already looking back at her. He didn’t look as cold as he had during dinner. He looked vulnerable and there was an emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t pin point. She was going to ask if he was okay, but he spoke first.
“Can we go outside for a minute?”
She felt her eyes widen. “Uh yeah, sure. That’s cool,” she tried to sound aloof, but she failed. The corner of Paxton’s mouth kicked up in a smirk as he nodded briskly and stood.
As soon as the door was closed they both started speaking.
“Paxton, I’m sorry” –
“Look, Devi, I shouldn’t have” –
And then they stopped and looked at each other with what could only be described as matching stupid grins.
“I’ll start,” Paxton said reaching a hand out and grasping her shoulder gently, “but let’s sit down.”
She nodded, letting him guide her to the top step of the stoop where they’d sat together after Becca’s photoshoot. “Devi, I’m sorry. I’ve been a really shitty friend to you. I didn’t know how bad things were with your mom, but that doesn’t matter. I should have been there for you.”
“I should have told you about Ben. I didn’t mean to blow you off, but I didn’t know what to say. We hadn’t been talking, and so many things changed.” Did he flinch when she said that?
“You don’t need to do that. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. So we kissed one time, and now you have a boyfriend. If I wanted a piece of the Devi Vishwakumar, I should have taken it when I had the chance,” he winked.
“I didn’t think…” he grinned at her, much like he had when he found her kicking a locker over a month ago. “You’re joking again.”
“Let’s not let things get weird, okay?” he stood up, before offering her his hand. “At least not weirder than tonight has already been. We’re friends, right?”
“Right, why should things be weird?” She grabbed his hand and felt the electricity shoot through her. It was the same every time they touched. Sure in her mind, things didn’t need to be weird. She wasn’t sure her heart agreed.
Part 2 >>
107 notes · View notes
saventhhaven · 4 years ago
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Only You - Chapter 11
Title: Coming Clean
Summary: When a man who left the reader six years ago suddenly reappears on her doorstep, she does everything she can to stop herself from falling in love with him all over again. Little does she know that his seemingly brief return will open an entirely new chapter for both of them.
Only You Masterlist
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Tags: protective!mom, paranoid!reader, witch, fluff, emotions, smut
Word Count: 4,861
A/N: I just want to say that this chapter right here is the moment that inspired this entire series. I put my heart and soul into this one, and it would really mean everything to me to hear back from you guys :) also, this whole series is based off of Foreigner’s I Want to Know What Love Is, so I recommend listening to that while reading this specific chapter
(Gif not mine)
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Despite the warmth radiating from Sam and Dean, a chill ran down your spine in a prickly wave. According to the time stamp attached to the photo, this moment dated back to 1864, the founding of your hometown.  You shook your head, numb. How was this even possible? When Sam had told you that witches were capable of prolonging their lives, you didn't want to believe it. But now that you had seen it for yourself, you had no choice but to accept it. As the woman's dark eyes stared back at you from behind Sam's laptop screen, fear rooted itself deep in the pit of your stomach as you came to several realizations. She had had over a century to practice her craft, and you were positive that she knew this town better than you ever could. In all likelihood... you really didn't stand a chance.
Dean's hand came down gently on your shoulder, chasing away some of the cold that had crept back up. You tore your eyes from the screen. Both the Winchesters and your mother were looking at you with their eyebrows raised, awaiting a response to a question you hadn't heard.
"Sorry," you said softly. "What?" Sam bobbed his head at the worn picture he had pulled up from the museum's website.
"Is that her?" he asked with practiced patience. You had seen him do this once before a long time ago, but you never thought that you would be on the receiving end of these questions. You swallowed past the lump in your throat. Now was not the time to lose your cool.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely her." Dean leaned in to scrutinize the screen, his forehead crinkling from the concentration. You knew that expression. He could read you like a book, but knowing someone so well was a two-way street. Something wasn't right, and you could tell by the look in his eyes.
"Hold on a second." The three of you watched Dean intently as you waited for him to fit whatever puzzle pieces he had together. Suddenly, a look of realization dawned on him, and he pointed to the woman next to your witch. He turned to Sam. "She look familiar to you?" Dean asked. At first, the younger Winchester shook his head, but then the same look of understanding graced his features.
"No way," he breathed. "You don't think-"
"I don't know," the elder brother cut him off. "Does it give names?" You glanced over at your mother, who furrowed her brows in question. Reaching over to take her hand, you gave it a small squeeze in response, granting her what you were hoping was a reassuring smile. To be frank, you were just in the dark as she was.
"Hey, guys?" you piped up. "Do you mind filling us in here?" Your words fell on deaf ears as the men scanned through a list of names under the picture. After a few more moments of torturous waiting, Dean swore.
"Son of a bitch."
"What? What's going on?" Dean didn't reply, running a hand through his hair anxiously as he stood, pacing. You turned to the other Winchester for an answer. "Sam?" He let out a whoosh of air, and you could tell by the way he did that he hadn't realized he had been holding it in. Sam pointed at the screen, his finger hovering over the raven-haired woman who had been haunting you.
"That," he began, "is Isobel Gray." After weeks of dead-ends and searching, you finally had a name. That was supposed to be a good thing... wasn't it? But the worry creasing Sam's forehead told you otherwise.
"So, why are you and Dean all wigged out over her?" you asked, bobbing your head at the other woman. "What's the big deal?" He opened and closed his mouth several times as he searched for the right words.
"That's Emilia," Dean put in, coming back over to you. "Emilia Gray." Two words. Those two words were all it took, and the air was pulled from your lungs by some unseeable, irresistible force. Without thinking, you grabbed onto Dean's arm for support.
"No." Your voice came out in a squeak. "No, no, no, but that's-"
"The witch we hunted six years ago?" Sam filled the blanks for you. "Yeah." How had you not seen it? You had been right there alongside Sam and Dean when they killed her. For Christ's sake, you had watched her die - a horrific memory you knew you would never forget.
"I don't understand." You jolted in surprise, almost having forgotten your mother was there. "I thought you said the three of you killed her."
"We did," you confirmed. "Now it's her daughter who's the problem." Your mother crossed her arms over her chest, thoughtfulness coming across her face.
"That's quite a coincidence," she pointed out with skepticism. Dean nodded his agreement.
"That's what I was thinkin'." 
"Do you think she recognized Y/N?" It surprised you how quickly your mom caught on to all of this. Most people would still be trying to wrap their heads around the cruel reality, but not her. She was asking good questions - hunter questions - and you would be lying if you said that didn't worry you. She was already far more involved than you were comfortable with. And her diving headfirst into the investigation with the Winchesters? That was a bit too much for you. As you opened your mouth to voice your concerns, Sam bean to speak.
"If we're lucky, no," he answered your mother's question. "But it seems like all signs may be pointing to yes." You held up a hand for him to stop.
"Wait. Are you telling me that this has all been some sort of... scheme?" You shook your head, disbelievingly. "There is absolutely no way. That means that she could have been planning this for years. Maybe even as soon as you two left town." As Dean sensed your increasing hysteria, he looked over at you in concern.
"Y/N-"
"No," you stated. "It doesn't make sense! You weren't there at the hospital like I was when they brought that kid in. None of you were. The injuries he had? All the blood? You can't fake that! I watched him die. I suppose that wasn't real either, right?"
"Y/N," Sam started, trying to appease your levels of hostility. "That boy did die. Dean and I went to check and make sure his mom didn't have some sort of way to resurrect him. And the car he was in-"
"Sam, don't," Dean warned.
"There was no evidence of another car hitting him like the police report said. The car blew up from the inside," Sam continued, ignoring his brother. "His death wasn't an accident." Dread gripped you tightly in its merciless claws, and you had to squeeze your eyes shut.
"Let me get this straight: six years ago, we killed Emilia Gray. Isobel Gray, Emilia's daughter, is the witch that's after me. And you... you're telling me she murdered her own son to get to me?"
"Yes." You thought you might be sick. "From the looks of it, she has been planning this. For a long time."
"Jesus, Sam, just tell her everything, why don't you?" Dean snapped. Your understanding of the situation clicked into place, and you whirled on him with your eyes narrowed into slits.
"You knew? You knew, and you didn't tell me?" When he went quiet, you had your answer. "How long?" Again, Dean didn't reply. You could sense your mother's and Sam's eyes on you, but you didn't care. "How long have you known?" You enunciated each syllable, your tone dangerous. A cloud of guilt seemed to hang within Dean's silence as he averted his gaze.
"The day after Sam and I got here." 
Three weeks. He had known for three fucking weeks and hadn't said a word about it to you. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. This whole time, you had been trying to figure out how to fix the poor communication between the two of you, and he had been keeping secrets. It was infuriating. He came back, he left again. He let his walls down, he got angry out of nowhere. He kissed you, you find out he'd been lying to you. Every time you took a step forward, there was always something waiting to push you two steps back.
The room around you was totally void of sound, waiting for you to say something. But this time, you had nothing to say. You thought about leaving. You wanted to slam the door in Dean's stupid face and go for a drive more than anything, but you still had your mother to think about. If you left now, you would put her in danger. And that was something you would never do. With a shake of your head, you went up the stairs and into your old room, slamming the door shut behind you. You had been expecting him to follow you, but he didn't. Maybe that was for the best. If he tried to explain himself right now, you couldn't be held accountable for what you did to him. You sighed. Things had been complicated before, but never to this extent.
When a knock came from your bedroom door, you crossed your arms with a glare.
"You can come in unless your name is Dean." Probably not your most mature moment, but he was the last person you wanted to see right now. When your mother entered the room, though, you blinked at her in surprise.
"Mom?" The door clicked softly as she closed it and came to sit next to you on the mattress.
"I don't think you should be so hard on him." Shocked, you could only stare at her with wide eyes. Your mother? Taking Dean's side?
"Are you serious right now?" She patted your leg in response.
"There are some things Dean told me that you should know."
Six years ago, your thumb hovered over your phone, a picture of you and Dean lighting up the screen. You knew why he had to leave. The man had an entire world to save. But that didn't make it any easier to watch him drive off into the snowy night. You dabbed at your eyes with your sleeve angrily as tears began to well up again.
"Stupid!" you chided yourself. He had kissed you, said goodbye, and left, and you hadn't said a damn word. There were so many things you should have told him - things you still wanted to tell him - and now you were never going to get the chance. A sob left you clutching at a hole in your chest that you knew wasn't really there. It was official. Your love life was cursed. The witch must have put some sort of hex on you before Sam and Dean killed her. That was the only explanation.
"Y/N." You could have sworn your heart stopped beating. That voice was unmistakable. There was no way he was really here again - he couldn't be. You had watched him get in his car and leave. But yet, when you stood from your couch, whirling around, there he was in all his glory. His green eyes shone with emotion, and his worn, brown leather jacket was dampened from the snow.
"You..." You were speechless. He really was here. Dean showed the object he had clasped in his hand, the small silver key that unlocked your apartment.
"You showed me where you hide the spare key, remember?" You simply stood there, staring at him with a mixture of confusion and awe. "Look," he began, "I've... I've never liked goodbyes, all right? I'm no good at 'em. I don't want to risk you, Y/N. I was trying to keep you safe, but I know it was a dick move to say I hope we never see each other again, so if you want me to-" Drawn out of your shock, you didn't hesitate for another second, yanking him closer by the collar of his jacket. When you pulled his face down to yours, your lips crashed together in a frenzy. Just like that, the hole in your chest was gone. Dean was breathing heavily when the two of you pulled away after a long moment, his forehead resting against yours. He swallowed hard. "You didn't let me finish what I was gonna say."
"I love you," you said seriously. "I can't believe I almost didn't get to say it, but I love you, Dean Winchester." Dean's spearmint breath fanned across your mouth as he stared deeply into your eyes, almost as if he couldn’t believe what you were telling him. He cupped your cheek in his hand and pressed his chapped lips against your forehead with infinite tenderness. You grasped him tightly, taking in his scent of leather, whiskey, and gunpowder.
"That's what I was gonna say, sweetheart."
Hours had passed since your mother had enlightened you on the reasoning behind Dean's actions. Immediately afterward, you had gone back downstairs to face him, but he was gone. According to Sam, he had gone for a drive to "clear his thoughts," which, to be completely honest, pissed you off a little bit. It wasn't so long ago that he had chewed you out about running off without warning, but apparently, those rules didn't apply to him. Typical. So, here you were, sitting in the almost-pitch black living room, in the middle of the night, waiting for Dean to come back. Both Sam and your mom had gone to bed a while ago, but you were still awake. Waiting. What you couldn't get over was the feeling of crippling guilt. Guilt for Dean's reasoning behind leaving, and how cold you had been to him when he returned. All along, it had been to protect you, and you had never known. Your breath caught in your throat, but you forced yourself to work past it.
Just when you were starting to worry that maybe Dean had gone back to the motel rather than here, the front door's handle turned. Moonlight streamed through the doorway, casting shadows across his freckled skin as he quietly came inside.
"Lock the door, will you?" you asked softly. At the sound of your voice, Dean looked over at you in surprise but did as he was told.
"Did you leave it open for me?" Nodding, you stood from the leather armchair. Through all the commotion, you had never thought to give either Winchester a spare key. Your heart pounded nervously in your chest, and you took a deep breath.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean sighed.
"We did this part already, remember?" There was no hiding the exasperation in his voice. "You got all pissed and stormed off." Turning away from you, he made his way toward the staircase. "Goodnight, Y/N." Oh, like hell, he was just going to avoid you.
"Six years ago," you clarified. Dean froze in his tracks. "You left because of a demon, and you didn't say anything. Why?" In any other circumstance, you might've been afraid that he hadn't heard you, based on his lengthy pause. He looked at you from over his shoulder.
"Your mom told you?" You nodded.
"She did." Again, the long pause. Finally, he sighed, gesturing for you to follow him upstairs. Sticking your chin out indignantly, you pushed past him, a silent way of telling him to follow you instead. As you did, you didn't miss the way Dean's lips quirked up ever so slightly. Neither of you said a single word on the way up to your room. Even after the door was shut, you were still quiet for a few moments. "Why didn't you tell me?" you tried again, breaking the silence. "I could have gone with you. I could have helped you."
"Y/N, that's why I didn't tell you," Dean explained. "You would've convinced me to let you come with us, and I couldn't let that happen. If you got hurt, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. If I cut all ties with you, the demon had no way of knowing you even existed. The best way for me to keep you safe was by leaving you." He met your eyes seriously. "You're my weak spot."
"I got hurt anyway," you pointed out. "And there was no demon the second time. So, why did you do the same damn thing?" You weren't expecting this to be so hard, but it was. Reliving all the hurt from the past six years within a single conversation wasn't proving to be easy. You knew this couldn't be easy for him either, but all the long pauses were really starting to piss you off. You had already done enough waiting. "Dean."
"I got scared, okay?" he said. You frowned. He got scared? That was ironic, considering that you had been terrified to fall in love again because of him.
"You-"
"You saw how bad I was hurt," he cut you off. "The last thing I wanted to do was come back and bring up bad memories for you, but I didn't know what else to do. Sam was hours away, at least, and if I went to the hospital..."
"They would've asked too many questions," you finished. Dean nodded.
"Yeah." He reached for your hands, holding them firmly. "And I'm sorry I left again. It's just..." He sighed heavily. "Damn it, Y/N, it really freaked me out. When I skipped town the first time, I had to force myself to stop loving you, and it killed me. I thought after all that time, maybe I had finally gotten my heart to listen to me." Dean shook his head as he allowed himself a half-hearted smile. "Turns out, love ain't somethin' you can turn off." A surprised laugh left your mouth. You, more than anyone, knew exactly what he meant. "But when you opened your door, and I saw you again, looking beautiful as ever, it all came right back." Tears poured down your cheeks, and you swallowed the lump in your throat, casting your eyes downward. After years of torturing yourself, after years of staying up at night and wondering "why," you had your answers. After all this time, you finally understood. Dean didn't leave because he didn't love you - he left because he did.
"I thought you didn't love me anymore," you admitted quietly. You heard Dean let out a soft breath, and he tucked his fingers under your earlobe, swiping away the wetness from your face with his thumb as he rested his palm on your cheek. When you looked up at him again, his green eyes were also misty but glowed with infinite tenderness as he looked at you.
"See, that's the thing, sweetheart." The whole rest of the world seemed to hold its breath as you waited for his next words. "I never stopped."
A fresh wave of emotions came to the surface. Hearing those words felt better than you could have ever imagined. It was like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you could finally breathe again. You grazed light touches down his arm, guiding it to your waist. Dean's hand moved down to trace your jawline with his thumb as you angled your face up. Again, you held your breath, matching his gaze. He was only centimeters away, a silent question in his eyes as he paused to let you come the rest of the way. You smiled to yourself. Always the gentleman.
As you brushed your lips against his, Dean held onto you like he cherished you more than anything in the world - and after that conversation, you knew he did. This was nothing like the kiss the two of you had shared earlier. This time, the underlying heat was replaced with a tenderness that told you just how much he loved you. Dean's hands found home on your hips, and he kneaded his thumbs gently.
"I love you," he whispered against your lips, making your heart skip a beat. Those three words were a promise, a secret vow for just you and him.
"I love you too." There had never been a shortage of intensity between you and Dean in the past, but it was different this time. 
Dean moved his mouth down to your jaw, and then your neck, tracing his tongue in circles that made you dizzy. It had been years since he had touched you like this, but damn did he still know his way around. His handsome features were slightly silhouetted by the pale moonlight, and you tried hard to commit the picture to your memory. Everything in this moment was nothing shy of perfection, and you never wanted to forget it. You could see the flecks of green and gold that blossomed out from his pupils when you were this close to him.
Moving earnestly, you pushed the flannel fabric down his shoulders, watching as the hint of a smile snuck onto his lips. As much as you wanted to take your time with this, you were eager to touch the smooth, soft skin you had come to know so well. You peeled his shirt off of him as he raised his arms above his head to make it easier. Being with him like this made it feel like no time had gone by at all. Although, the tiniest bit more hair on his chest said otherwise, and you were reminded yet again of all the time that had passed both of you by.
Pressing your palms flat against his warm skin, you smiled. Age had been especially kind to him. When Dean hooked his fingers into the hem of your shirt, he raised his eyebrows wordlessly at you for permission. You nodded and held your arms up in the way he just had, eliciting a light chuckle. For a brief moment, the soft fabric covered your eyes, but when it was gone, Dean was right there, looking down at you in wonder. He swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, and he ghosted his lips over every inch of newly-exposed skin, starting by unhooking your bra to kiss your shoulders and breasts until he was on his knees, unbuttoning your jeans to kiss your stomach.
"I didn't think it was possible," he started as he skated over each hipbone, "but you're even more perfect now than you were six years ago." Pulling him back to his feet, you kicked your bottoms off, reaching down to relieve him of his as well.
"You're pretty perfect, yourself," you pointed out. Dean stepped out of his pants, reaching down to grab the backs of your thighs. As he lifted you, you wrapped your legs around his waist in response.
"I don't even come close to you, sweetheart." His words had your heart skipping a beat as he walked the two of you to the mattress, placing you gently on the plush comforter. When you laid back, you pulled him down with you, and the heat from his chest flush against yours flooded you with warmth. You hooked a leg around him, toying with the waistband of his briefs. Dean leaned down to capture your lips in another soft kiss. "Are you sure?" he murmured into your mouth. Fixing him with the most sincerity you could, you nodded.
"I'm sure. Are you?" The way he looked at you in response made your throat tighten with emotion.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." You pulled him back down to your mouth one more time.
"I love you," you said again, loving the way the words sounded out loud.
"I love you too." As he took off his briefs, you pushed your panties down your legs, tossing them off the edge of the bed right as Dean was positioning himself between your thighs again. When he looked at you one final time for permission, you nodded, and he guided himself into you.
The sensation of being so connected was just as intoxicating as you remembered, and it took your breath away. You heard Dean let out a soft groan as he settled on top of you, his muscular arms coming to rest on either side of your head. He drew back slowly before pressing into you again, setting a tender, even pace. Winding a leg around him, your body arched up into his like the push and pull of an ocean's wave. Dean wrapped an arm behind you, between your back and the mattress, as your head tilted back. His lips ghosted over the sensitive skin of your neck, and a jolt of electricity shot through you. Dean’s name was on your lips in a series of breathy whispers as you chased ecstasy with him, moving in perfect synchronization.
You knew that Dean loved you. But you had never known it more than you did at that moment. Never before had you felt as cherished and loved as he made you feel. He left wet, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, your jaw, and the curves of your ear as he braced his weight on one arm, lacing your fingers together against the mattress with his free hand. You drew him back to you once more by the hairs on the nape of his neck, brushing your tongue against his lip and earning a low groan.
The minutes blurred together as Dean pumped his hips into yours until a familiar ache began to rise in you, making your heart beat faster. Your breaths came in short gasps, and you clutched onto his strong bicep to keep you grounded as warmth flooded through you in powerful waves. Dean wasn't far behind you. His movements grew increasingly erratic as your hips rose up to meet him, and your climax set his into motion. You watched him with a blissful smile as the rise and fall of his chest eventually slowed before he settled onto the mattress next to you, pulling the sheets over both of your naked bodies. Reaching up to finger through his sweat-dampened hair, you scratched your nails lightly against his scalp, making him sigh. A smile tugged at your mouth, and sincerity shone through your eyes when he looked at you.
"What's that smile for?" Dean asked.
"Because I'm so incredibly grateful that we found our way back to each other. I didn't know what to do without you," you admitted. As you pressed your back against his chest, Dean laid a protective arm over you, kissing you tenderly.
"Me neither," he agreed. "You're my missing piece, Y/N. Nothing felt right with you gone." The two of you basked in the silence of happy exhaustion as you began to drift off. As you were about to succumb to sleep, Dean pressed his lips against your temple, and the memory of a dream resurfaced.
"Dean?" you asked softly.
"Hm?" Just before you could ask, you suddenly felt embarrassed.
"Never mind," you decided with a small shake of your head. "You'll think it's dumb." Dean's chuckle came out as a soft exhaling sound.
"Y/N, I think you're a lot of things," he explained. "Beautiful, smart, funny..." He caught your earlobe between his teeth. "Maddeningly sexy, obviously." You giggled. "But dumb just ain't one of 'em." You chewed on your lip thoughtfully for another moment before you finally caved.
"All right. Did you..." You still felt silly asking. "Our first night at the motel room," you continued, a bit more confident this time. "Did you kiss me on the forehead?" Dean froze behind you.
"I thought you were asleep." Instantly, you let out a breath of relief. Had he said no, that would've made that dream one hell of a vivid one.
"I was, mostly." He sighed. "Not that I mind," you assured as you pressed on, "but why did you do that? We just had that stupid fight, and I thought you were beyond pissed at me." Dean rubbed an extra bit of warmth into your bare arm affectionately.
"I was never pissed at you," he clarified. "I was so damn relieved that you were safe, but I was worried too. Hell, I'm still worried. And you and I both know I'm not exactly the best at expressing my emotions right."
"'No chick flick moments,'" you quoted. Dean groaned loudly from behind you, and you grinned.
"God, you're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"
"Probably not, no."
"I guess what I'm trying to say," Dean started again, "is that even if you hated me for what I did, after all the hell I put us both through to keep you safe, I was just over the friggin' moon that you were alive. Because you are the most important thing in the world to me." The smile that came onto your face was just for you to see. You reached up to squeeze Dean's hand gently, turning your head to kiss him lightly on the lips before getting comfortable.
"Goodnight, Dean."
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
Thank you guys so much for reading!
Like I said, I would really love to get some feedback for this chapter in particular!
If you’re not already, I highly recommend adding yourself to the Only You taglist so you don’t miss anything!
Chapter 12 - The Lion’s Den
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triptychexe · 5 years ago
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TRIVIUM - PART 3 - DEBUT MINI ALBUM [2016]
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TRIVIUM is the third and final unit to debut from Triptych’s first generation with their debut mini album PART 3. With a significantly more hip-hop and rap-focused sound in comparison to the two previous Triptych units, TRIVIUM brings a new layer of talent and meaning to the super group. Covering hard-to-swallow topics like gender roles and societal double standards, TRIVIUM hits hard and makes waves.
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△ TRACK BY TRACK. 
1] BERLIN 
The decision to make BERLIN their debut song was a power move. Not only does the song have a very distinct and recognizable sound that drags listeners in, but it sets the vibe for TRIVIUM’s energy.
All three members had a hand in writing this song.
The line distribution can be found here
2] SAVAGES
In this hiphop-influenced track, TRIVIUM has a back and forth debate between rappers Van and Cal over if human nature is inherently good or evil, giving examples of highs and lows in society.
Doubled with a strong chorus, thought-provoking versus, and irony twisted into more than a half the lines, this song can be seen as an ironic commentary on what people see as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.
Written by all three members.
3] WHO I AM
Trivium talks about their past and how it had shaped them into who they are today. This song is like the last goodbye to their old selves, ready to let go of the past and move on.
This track also acknowledges that admitting ignorance isn’t something that you should be ashamed of, as you can only change as long as you’re willing. 
Written by all three members
 4] BACK OFF
 Ura, the only woman in this subunit, took it upon herself to write a feminist anthem for their album. It’s basically a response to all the times Ura has had a man be patronizing towards her. Van and Cal act on the track as supporters, but the song is mostly Ura focused. 
The first song on the album where you actually hear Ura rap and get to see her lyricism play out. One of Ura’s lines mentioned snapping kneecaps. Everyone’s afraid of her now. 
Written by Ura
5] BITE
This song is all about wanting someone that’s not good for you, but you keep coming back. 
The non-gender specific pronouns in the song show that this song can be about any type of relationship, regardless of gender or if it is a romantic or platonic relationship. 
Written by Van and Cal
6] MEN/WOMEN
All about gender roles and how they’ve hurt them as they’ve grown up. Since they are the first co-ed unit from Triptych, they took it upon themselves to address double standards/gender roles.
This one caused a bit of a discussion, especially since it directly calls out the double standards in the kpop industry.
Written by all members. 
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△ THIS ERA.
So... Trivium easily got the most attention out of Gen 1.
Mostly because they’re a co-ed duo that covers topics that aren’t discussed super openly.
But also because they’re really good rappers. Like, all of them. And their stage presence is really intense. 
Ura doesn’t rap as much as she would have liked to this era, as they needed her on vocals to break up the tracks a little since neither Van or Cal can sing very well.
Trivium were given the title ‘un-idols’ - which is both a term of endearment as well as a critique, depending on who uses it - because of their unwillingness to play up the role of a significant other at fan signs as well as their general aura.
Idols are supposed to be like... ‘perfect’ at all times, and Trivium just doesn’t do that? Like they wear the worst outfits to the airport, fansites have pictures of them waiting in line for street food (and then chowing down on said street food), and the way they talk to fans is so casual? 
This attitude turned off some fans, but it brought in a whole new wave of support, especially from international fans who felt like Trivium were relatable. 
The most popular member this comeback was easily Ura. Not only was she the only girl, so she visually stood out, but she was the one that often went viral for fan-zoning fans who asked her to be romantic with them.
She also received the most criticisms, but she really didn’t care. She wasn’t going to make herself uncomfortable for the sake of others. 
Cal got a good amount of attention too because of his accent and his looks. Cal has a very slight British accent when he says certain Korean words and people just... lost it over that.
Van kinda sunk to the background this era, but he doesn’t really mind. He just wanted the kids to have fun and have their time to shine. :) 
As far as numbers go, Trivium breaks records for Triptych by gaining 10 million music video views in the first 24 hours as well as having BERLIN chart on Melon upon release. 
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△ ERA FASHION. 
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I promise this is the last era that Triptych wears color-coded outfits. I promise. The company was trying to see how the color-coded concept would work and gen 1 was the guinea pigs. 
When Artychs saw how lacking Trivium’s debut outfits were.... they almost rioted at HBH. They already were accusing HBH of picking favorites and not giving Trivium equal treatment. 
But the truth is... Trivium picked their debut stage outfits. Yes, they’re bland, but Trivium wanted their debut to feel like friends were finally meeting up for the first time, hence the casual clothes.
The button up shirt fits tho.... that made a few bitches go feral. That was an exquisite serve. 
The award show fits were nice too! Ura stunned bitches pulling up with her short blazer dress and fishnets. Van had really cool dress pants with designs on them and Cal wore a color that wasn’t black! It was monumental!
As far as hair goes, Ura had short black hair with wispy bangs. 
Van had black hair and almost always wore a wide headband on his hairline.
Cal’s hair was usually just styled into tousled brown curls and called a day. 
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△ FANDOM BEHAVIORS.
I’ve explained triptych stan culture before (basically the fandom is kinda divided? like some fans only support certain subunits, others support all of them, etc.) but I think Trivium was what really made that divide clear. 
Trivum just sounds different than S.O.T and Tromme, there was gonna be people who didn’t vibe with their style. But that’s kinda the point of Triptych, to like.. get different sounds involved in their discography.
And some gross fans didn’t like that Trivium made it clear that they don’t want to be sexualized by fans, so they just decided to ignore them and focus on S.O.T and Tromme, who hasn’t spoken out about being sexualized by strangers online. 
People also started calling Van a ‘smol bean uwu’ (hello 2016) and started like... infantalizing him?? even though he’s a grown ass man??? does he LOOK like dan OR phil to any of you???????? 
Fans also started calling Cal a fuckboy and played him up as this big meme just because he’s goofy. I will never forgive y’all for that.
Pick Mes hated Ura because if anyone’s ‘one of the boys’, it’s Ura and they were jealous. But she literally has to be one of the boys. It’s apart of her job. 
But the artychs that do stan Trivium are probably some of the chillest people ever. They are literally just vibing. Trivium stans are dubbed as the ‘stoners’ of the fandom as a joke.
And OT9 stans overpower solo stans by a LONG SHOT, so don’t worry! Trivium received more love than hate from artychs. There were just a few bad eggs that ruined shit. 
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eye-cri · 4 years ago
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aaaa I just couldn’t resist wanting to do this! Alphabet hcs (Fluff/Sfw style~) 
I’m gonna do this for both Najlynn and Aidma!!! 
A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to
Both: Travel around the world and experience different cultures and have pure wild adventures to get to see beautiful sights. And they’d also want to help those they see that are in need of help and put them in a good place.
B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous
Aidma: Fidgets a lot. Usually she’ll fidget with her hands and kind of shift in place. It seems to get on other people’s nerves though.... 
Najlynn: Her feet tap a lot on the floor and she’ll fidget her tongue in her mouth. Her eyes can’t seem to stay focused either. 
C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?
Aidma: She’ll be blushing more around them. When she gets even just a simple complement she’ll go shy mode. But she can still interact with them casually of course. She’d most likely find out about the crush when she’s taking one of her nature walks. Shy complement giver but she wants to show that she notices the little things about her crush. 
Najlynn: Smiley smiley :). She’ll be your little comedian. She makes people fall for her through her jokes for the most part. She’d give you complements confidently a good amount too~
D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them
Both: They don’t really have date ideals just as long as both sides enjoy the time spent together that’s enough for them ❤ 
E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without
Aidma: Well,,, support. trauma still haunts her to this day and she appreciates every bit of support she gets. I don’t think she’d still be here if she hadn’t had support.... 
Najlynn: Her close friends that understand her thick and through. They are her shields from the hate she gets for just being her (because she’s  pan-sexual and poly-amorous).
F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.
Aidma: Spicy chips are one of her favorite snacks. Any lake/pond is a favorite place of her’s. wood, flowing water and however Zeus smells are her favorite scents. :> Her favorite books are academia books. 
Najlynn: Macaroons with whipped cream and coffee is her favorite snack. Cafes, parks and board walks are her favorite places. Flowers, books, freshly gritted coffee beans and grass are her favorite scents. Her favorite books are also academia books (but she leans towards light and romantic academia books). 
G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh
Aidma: Usually it starts out soft and she’ll be covering her mouth but it goes further it’d get a a bit louder and she’ll be clutching her stomach. Sometimes she just bursts out in loud laughter but tbh its rare. 
Najlynn: She always purses her lips before laughing. always. And she never holds back, she can sometimes be the loudest laugher which can sometimes cause people to look at her weirdly but she never notices it.
Both: They both snort a bit in their laughs and i find that really cute uwu
H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?
Aidma: Y E S PLZ. her hands are warm uwu. also a big yes for pinky promises. Pinky promises are extremely important to her and if you break it then you break a lil piece of her :( 
Najlynn: handholding is such a cute thing to do in her eyes so yes. her hands are actually cold! Pinky promises she sees as cute childish things to do. she usually doesn’t take them seriously but if the other person takes them seriously then she will too. 
I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand
Aidma: When she’s mad at Zeus she’ll call him pin-chan or pinny just because he hates it. He said “those are to much of childish names” for him lol. He especially hates it when its in front of people. 
Najlynn: She likes adding the word girl in the most serious of sentences. ex “I am sorry for the death of your father girl”. Some kind of dark humor that is..... 
J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?
Both: No, they usually make fun of superstitious people together. 
K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?
Aidma: usually soft, and full of emotions. They leave you with a nice fluttery feeling. But when she’s horni she’ll be very passionate and you’ll be left to have to catch your breath. 
Najlynn: itty bitty kisses and even though they were little, because there were so much you have to catch your breath. 
L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?
Aidma: whether subtle or not, she gives constant reminders that she loves them. gifts, hand holding, cuddles, hugs and ect are her ways of expressing love. But she prefers to be shown love physically. You don’t even have to say the words to her, but affectionate touches are her favorite way of getting love.She also likes looking into the eyes of her lover lovingly and seeing the same look on their face looking at her (even tho she’s really shy about this).
Najlynn: She likes whispering sweet nothings to her lover and seeing their reaction. That’s her favorite way of showing love. She also likes getting shown physical affection.
M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”
Aidma: That when she spends time with them, it seems to go by so fast. That’s honestly what she really wants with someone. 
Najlynn: That they’re okay with how she wants the relationship to be and it actually ends up working out. it never seems to work out with any body like this and she just wants someone who is cool with being in a polyamorous relationship. 
N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called
Aidma: her nicknames are: Adi, Didi/Di, Dia and, Mani
Najlynn: her nicknames are: Naji, Naj, Nana, JeJe (its pronounced zhe zhe) DISCLAIMER: NEVER CALL NAJLYNN, LYNN. just don’t. She hates it and will end up breaking your arm if you do. 
O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?
Aidma: clean for the most part, sometimes she is a little messy but later she’d end up cleaning it up. But she can get really messy on stressful days.
Najlynn: I mean, she’s kinda messy but her sister always ends up nagging her to clean up after herself so she ends up cleaning it up. 
P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?
Aidma: Strangers and non close friends who don’t get personal space. and constant small noises(like the ticking of a clock).
Najlynn: Being asked personal questions from non close people. like yeah she’s an open person but not that open. 
Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind
Aidma: Nature walks, eat sugary foods, cuddle with her lover or get her emotions out by drawing
Najlynn: Scents really have a calming affect on her so she’d try to go somewhere that has one of her favorite scents. cuddling with someone also calms her pretty well.
S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature
Aidma: smile, laughter, basically her whole body. :3
Najlynn: her voice is loud but somehow soft?? idk how to explain it. her lips look so soft when she smiles i wouldn’t be mad if u wanted to kiss her right there when she smiles. 
T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone? (modern au ofc)
Aidma: she switches btw liking to talk over the phone/facetime/txting. Usually, she doesn’t use her phone much, like around 1h some days or 5h other days. depends 
Najlynn: She likes txting better. sometimes she likes to facetime but its rare tbh. she uses her phone a lot, like around 7h. 
U is for Unique: a random quirk they have
Aidma: not really a quirk but she mocks ppl’s voices a lot. 
Najlynn: She can tell someone’s relationship with their family by first glance. lol idk how i thought of that.
V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?
Aidma: Even when she didn’t have Zeus by her side she loved valentines day. Although she did get a bit jealous of the happy couples she was happy for them.
Najlynn: Surprisingly, no. She doesn’t have any ill feelings towards it, she just doesn’t care for it.
W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*
Aidma: I know I already said this but she loves physical affection and imagining some Fluffy Adius scenarios really warms my heart 🥰
Najlynn: She’s just soo understanding!! I adore her for her supportive side. 
X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality
Both: Cook some bomb food and sweets, (modern au prt) and offer to turn on the tv. lol but they’d probably talk over the tv.
Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have
Aidma: uh............................................... okay well.......... when she first met her older sister (Amalie) They were in hiding but here’s the thing, they had Iasona who was still a baby at the time with them cuz Iaso’s mother had been killed right after she had birthed Iaso and then Iaso had been thrown out left to die. But Amalie found her and took care of her. After a a year and a few months when Amalie found Adi they decided to go into hiding and Adi thinks that time in hiding, taking care of Iasona was “a calm in the cruel storm”.   
Najlynn: meeting her little siblings for the first time. She immediately adored them all.
Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?
Aidma: She’s the biggest sleep cuddler. She doesn’t talk in her sleep (she’s quite happy for it). Nightmares unfortunately happen at least every week for her but her dreams are usually either totally chaos or, its of what she wanted her childhood to be. 
Najlynn: Sometimes she’ll cuddle but it’s not often. Yeah she does talk in her sleep (when she and Adi have to camp out on a mission her sleep talking annoys Adi to no end(cuz she’s do damn loudd))  Sometimes she has visions in her sleep but she never remembers them. When she does have nightmares, they’re creepy asf. Her dreams usually have clouds in them for some reason idk y. 
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chaoslordjoe · 4 years ago
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RWBY - Do I ship it?
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My friend @lewdnepvasilias666​ has recently been receiving Asks about some various RWBY ships. Given my small follower base, and since I’ve got some time to kill before going AFK for Father’s Day I just thought: “Eh. Seems fun.”
No time to waste, so let’s get into a few random ships here, shall we?
Renora
OTP
I SHIP IT
hELL YES
I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY
As if there was any doubt! Just to start us off, I feel that there really isn’t much else that can be emphasized about Renora and how it’s one of the few things the FNDM can collectively agree on.
While I understand that the whole “best-friends-to-lovers” trope is cliche -- believe me, I’m not a fan of it either -- I feel that Renora is able to handle it in the least corny way possible with a realistic backstory: Grew up in a village, village was doomed, they ran out and survived and have been together ever since.
Yeah, it’s a clear setup for romance between the two, or at the very least a type of love that’s not necessarily romantic. Not just that, but the deepest friendship imaginable. I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of how they made Renora super angsty in V7, but I feel much more content ever since I dropped the show with how much more fan content there is to explore of these two that RT couldn’t.
Boop, motherfuckers!
BlackSun
the sexiest pair
underrated
we need more of it
reads fics about it
Like morning follows night, eh?
Pretty much every praise that can be said about BlackSun is said before I could say anything about it. I’m not actually gonna shit-talk Bumbleby much as I have a few select words on how that ship has, uh...Basically it’s to avoid the bleeding obvious and just talk about positive stuff here.
Sun Wukong is one of my favorite RWBY characters. And the relationship he had with Blake, even though it remained a friendship in canon really resonated with me as someone who has been through a similar plight with abusive relationships like Blake.
Weiss is my top favorite, don’t get me wrong, but seeing Sun keep up a positive face for Blake and his other friends just really brings me some joy with the goodest of bois.
Also their cuteness. Hee~!
Cool Jazz
we need more of it
CUTENESS OVERLOAD
why not
the sexiest pair
Hey, I like Iceberg. But this is another Weiss ship that’s grown on me faster than how quickly the rate at which players rushed to find the megalodon shark in Battlefield 4.
I’ll admit that Cool Jazz was kinda “eh” to me at first since I didn’t have a set Weiss ship when I first discovered it. Yeah, Iceberg was on the table but I was on the fence with it at the time simply due to since I was one of *those* dipshits who honest-to-god thought that Neptune was a fuckboi (sorry Lewdy, but I like him now homegirl) since I honest-to-Christ didn’t know any better.
Ever since I discovered more art of it, and was surprised to hear how many people shipped it along with my friends who liked Iceberg, I realized with horror that I was into Cool Jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I love the dynamic of it with Weiss dating a commoner (JacquesXEternal suffering forever) just to shy further away from her stigma as a noble. And looking back in Volume 3, I think that more interactions with her and Flynt were in order in V7.
Some good stuff there.
Ironwitch
would read a fic about it
Soulmates
we need more of it
I’m not necessarily crazy about Ironwitch as I am more chill about the idea of it.
There are similar ships with the whole serious character/serious character vibe. Monochrome, for instance. Which is fine, given how many serious character/funny character ships there are. White Rose, BlackSun, Renora, just to name a few. But enough babbling, what do I like about this one?
Well, much as I’m not one to cry out for diversity in many cases, this is one ship where I’m attracted to the respective backgrounds of James and Glynda. I don’t mind them being portrayed as just business partners, but this is another one that quickly grew on me.
Ironwood is a military man whose knowledge lies in warfare and maintaining relations between the public and the armed forces. As a civilian who never served, a lot of military guys I’ve met are the ones you should be asking with just how stressful it is serving in such a position for a senior officer with such a massive reputation.
Glynda, meanwhile, is also a disciplinarian who is basically teaching kids to be like child soldiers in the fight against Grimm. Both have the same jobs, yes, but I really think that whatever past backstories they had would have revealed just how deep their partnership went before the whole shadow war escalated.
Tell you the truth, I’m picturing Ironwitch as a ship with a lot of backstory potential given how close the two are. And minor thing, but, I like the idea of Glynda being playful with James when they’re out of sight. It’s just a really cute image which I can’t help but find amusement out of.
Gemstone
CUTENESS OVERLOAD
why not
would read a fic about it
Yeah, this one right here is kind of a cop out with it being a “foe yay” ship. Doubly so with this being a F/F ship which I know is a point of contention in the FNDM these days. But it’s my list. So let’s talk about it.
Emerald Sustrai is a bit of an oddity in the FNDM. On one hand, there are fans who find her to be sympathetic with how clingy she is with Cinder when Cinder is basically using her as a puppet in her bidding.
I don’t necessarily “hate” Emberald since that’s not the kind of abuse I’m familiar with. But I definietly see why people would hate it and have no patience, knowing how contentious Cinder happens to be.
On the other, there are fans who think that Emerald is just there and wouldn’t be caught dead reading anything about her. Certainly, she’s been part of a lot of interesting ships lately.
Among one of these is Gemstone. AKA Emerald/Ruby. Hear me out for a second, peeps.
I like Gemstone not because I’m big on villain redemption stuff in RWBY fanworks. But because I like the idea of it being seen where Emerald is actually in a happy, healthy relationship with someone who supports her unlike Cinder. Seeing a cinnamon roll like Ruby be a part of that just really made me think about my history with abuse.
Thing is, I’ve been in relationships like that which involve manipulative behavior and promises of this-or-that. While Emerald isn’t one of my S-tier RWBY characters, I still think that she has room for a lot of development as someone who’s not portrayed in an evil light.
There’s also Topaz (Emerald/Jaune) if I can’t find any Gemstone works. Sure, there are other ships like Emercury (which I’m also warming up to a little). But I think that Gemstone is filling that void for now until I can look more into Emercury for the time being.
I also like the red/green color schemes. Just really pleasing to the eyes. Next!
Silent Knight
hELL YES
the sexiest pair
would read a fic about it
I SHIP IT
Another “foe yay” ship that I’ve developed a soft spot for. Let’s face it, this probably wouldn’t be a shipping list without including at least one Jaune ship, wouldn’t it?
The reason I ship Jaune with Neo is because I like the inversion of the “good-girl-meets-bad-boy” trope. Instead, we get a good boy meeting a bad girl who I think really helps bring out the wild side in Jaune.
Not at the level of committing crimes like Neo does, but in a more lax AU or shipping fan work, I’m really enamored with the idea of her letting Jaune not worry about being such a “good boi” or “bean” all the time because, I like Jaune, but that’s not all he has to be in fanon.
Perhaps what I’m trying to say is that Neo would be the right amount of crazy for Jaune to handle given how many ships he’s in with a couple of women and girls on the show who are associated with being a little nutty.
I just like Silent Knight. Simple.
And that is about it. I thought this would be a decent post to put out given my current bout of writer’s block, and I hope whoever comes across this list that you enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed writing about it.
Want me to make another? Lemme know, and I’ll see what I can do.
@laserdog10​ @lewdnepvasilias666​ @darksaiyangoku​ @becauseihaveyou​ @bssaz97​ @ezroar​ @the-blue-quetzalcoatl​ @rozanime​ @nix-nihil​ @kali-tmblr​
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anniemar · 5 years ago
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For the readers ...
So can we talk? I feel like we need to talk. (fistbump if you watch Rich Lux)
I’m about to get personal because I’ve been noticing a few things over the years and I’m ready to talk. 
I’m a writer. I support other writers. Veteran writers and also would-be writers. But I’m also a big reader. And I support the readers too. The fans. I see a lot of entitlement going on with writers sometimes, and I’m here to remind you that yes, writers make content, but readers are the lifesblood of fic. 
I kinda took a break from fandom as a writer and then recently, slowly, made my way back to it. I’ve written here and there over the past two years, but nothing crazy like I used to. There’s a lot of reasons. Life gets in the way. Muses go on the fritz. And sometimes a fandom you’re a part of seemingly goes off the rails, a dustbowl moves in. 
When I wrote my first fic I had no expectations, just posted into the void of cyberspace. I’d spent a year just reading. I wasn’t really a part of fandom yet, I was a lurker. I posted on ff.net, not quite understanding how to work AO3, and most of the fics I’d read were on ff.net anyway. Tasertricks was my jam, after exhausting all North & South fic, and a little Vampire Diaries. I had zero fandom friends, no tumblr interaction, and only communicated with readers through DMs on ff.net. 
When people began to comment on my first fic I was stunned. I didn’t expect anyone to actually read it. I was just practicing, mostly. That’s what it felt like. Posting my Tasertricks fic into the void. For the hell of it. 
And then I got readers. I got readers who commented on every chapter. Some of them left long ones, others just a few words, but I cherished all of them. I read them over and over again. It really did fuel my writing sometimes, and I’d find myself writing a paragraph and thinking “hmmm ... i wonder if so-and-so will like that line”. And even if some chapters got less comments than others, I still kept going. I was writing this to get better. 
I eventually finished that fic, it’s one of the things I’m most proud of to this day. Manic Taser Dream Girl, my first child. It taught me that I could write a book if I wanted to (and I want to). I made some dear fandom friends, hung out on Tumblr, switched to AO3 and now I can’t imagine spending all my time over on ff.net. You evolve. Fandom evolves. 
But sometimes I think back on my first experience with fic and think about the purity of it. I had no expectations, I was writing because it was fun and I loved the source material, and the people who commented were so dear to me. 
It gave me a push. It also made me realize how important comments can be to a writer, so I made a conscious effort to make sure and comment on every fic I read, especially if it’s current. I might not comment on a fic that’s 5 years old with 4,000 kudos and 1,000 comments, but a current one, I always try to. I understand the struggle wholeheartedly. 
And fandom for the most part has been amazing, it’s kept me going at times, brought me so much joy and cherished friendships. It’s been a beacon of light through depression and anxiety, addiction. A comfort when all else failed. It’s led me to people I have SO MUCH in common with. True friends. 
But then on the other hand I observed how other people sometimes come into fandom as an agent of chaos. Divide and conquer types. Energy and muse vampires. I never understood it. I always stood back and mainly watched. I watched my beloved MCU fandom turn into something weird. It wasn’t fun anymore. People drifted away. 
It happens in fandoms. People just get interested in other things, it happened to me. I started to write in Vikings. Found a beautiful community there, more dear friends. Stretched my legs. I wrote a fic for The Alienist, even though 10 people watched that show. I wanted to write for smaller fandoms because I wanted to get back to actual writing. I didn’t care about the kudos or the comments anymore, I just wanted to go back to that purity. Me and the void. I don’t know anyone here. I want to post this thing because i love these characters SO DAMN MUCH and they’re in my head. If anyone wants to read it, even better, I love you. 
I recently wrote a fic for Stranger Things. Again, no expectations. I could have received 5 kudos and zero comments, I didn’t care, Jopper got in my head. I had to write it. And I FINISHED IT. I was so proud of that. I finished it. Because it was about the love of the material. It was the love of the characters. And there were a few dear sweet commenters that took the time to send me nice words on every chapter, dear sweet people who left kudos, dear sweet people who gave me a hit, and dear sweet people who I’m sure just skimmed through it and clicked to another fic. It’s all good. 
I go back to the MCU more frequently now because I truly miss it. I’ve never stopped being a fan. I’m still in the movie theater seat for every MCU film at the first possible viewing. But in fandom I’ve noticed that things are different. Fans are less vocal. Afraid to have opinions. Afraid to comment. Afraid to interact. Scared to have an unpopular opinion. But I tell you, it’s okay to have that unpopular opinion, because someone else out there has it too. And this is how we find each other. 
As writers we need to remember what it was like when we were first lurkers and readers, who gradually worked up the nerve to comment, then to interacting on tumblr, and writing our own stuff. It takes time. If we put too much pressure on readers to comment, the readers won’t stay. If we give them too many rules and regulations, they’ll just move on. It’s not a job for us writers, yes, it’s free content, but it’s not a job for them either. 
We need to cool it these these “how to comment” manifestos. In the end they’re meaningless and do more harm than good. 
If readers feel like they can’t interact, it’ll have an effect throughout fandom, they’ll just stop commenting on everyone’s fic, afraid of displeasing the author with the wrong kind of comment. It might make them not want to write their own fic, dip their own toes in. 
You never know what a reader is feeling. It might take everything they have just to log on and give you a little heart, and that has to be enough. Or a kudo. Or someone who’s writing that comment who’s first language isn’t English, and they’re afraid of using the wrong words. What must that feel like? I speak conversational Spanish and I’d never feel confident enough to leave a comment on a Spanish-language fic. But I could leave a heart. 
In the end, there’s no right way to do this. There’s only “don’t be a dick”. Don’t be a dick to writers, of course, but also ... don’t be a dick to the readers. The commenters, the people who have been around for years and years and also the ones who are new and still working up the nerve to hang out. To come out of that lurker stage. And hell, even if they never come out of lurking, that’s okay too. We need to give readers and commenters room to get comfortable and to evolve too. Just as our writing grows more comfortable and evolves. 
And criticism? 
I think I’m in the minority because criticism doesn’t tend to bother me. I know it’s a big issue with a lot of people, many are sensitive about it, but I have a pretty thick skin. Sometimes it’s even easier for me to take criticism than compliments. With a big compliment sometimes it takes me awhile to respond because it’s too big for me, I need time to deal ;-) I need time to stop crying lol. 
I haven’t had too many problems with criticism. If anyone tells me about a typo it doesn’t bother me. I’m usually like, THANKS MAN, because I’m dyslexic and words get jumbled up for me. I have to edit and reread my chapters in different fonts to try and catch everything and I still don’t catch stuff. And sometimes I don’t have my work beta’d because well, on one hand I’m impatient sometimes and on the other hand I keep strange hours. 
I think some of the worst (and funniest) criticism I ever got was over mentioning Kanye West in Manic Taser Dream Girl, and whenever the commenter complained about it, it just made me want to use Kanye in the fic more ;-) You have to be able to brush that stuff off sometimes. And the mean stuff? Mean comments say more about the commenter than the writer. I’ve always just tried to leave a “hey, thanks for reading anyway” and left it at that. It’s all you can do, really. 
I’ve written travel articles for New Orleans publications before and I’ve gotten some really hurtful and nasty comments, under my real name. That will thicken your skin. I don’t mind if someone tells me to knock off the Kanye West  references after I’ve been called a yankee carpetbagger libtard who needs to move back to Ohio. I posted a red beans and rice recipe once and you would have thought I personally led General Sherman through New Orleans with the amount of nasty comments I got lol. 
It comes with the territory. And I want to write, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What I’m trying to say is, if you get a negative comment, don’t let it stop you from writing. Keep going. Keep learning. Keep getting better. Don’t let the terrorists win. You can always say that you don’t want critique in your author’s notes, but I’d recommend that eventually, you want to just let it go as you evolve as an author, because if you want to ever get to a point where you’re publishing original content, you’re going to need some practice handling whatever comes your way. 
Because if I gave my readers a bunch of rules and regulations, or a manifesto on the “right way to comment” (when there is no right way) ... they’re just not gonna comment at all. Fic is not a job for the writer, it’s not a job for the reader either. 
The only rule should be “don’t be a dick”. Don’t be a dick writer. Don’t be a dick commenter. Don’t be a dick fandom agent of chaos. Just don’t be a dick and we can have this beautiful thing of fandom and community and support. And laughter and good feels. Everyone feeling as if they’re a part of something awesome. Even the lurkers. They’re at home reading shit and they give that silent fistbump, and I can feel those good vibes even from here. 
To all my readers, thanks for all of it. Every single thing. Even those mean Kanye comments. I cherish everything. The kudos. The hearts. The incredible well-wishes from people who are nervous about writing in English. The people who leave comments on every chapter, who follow my work to other fandoms, all of you. Please, never be nervous to interact with me. Ever. I am always ready and willing to cry over our fave characters. Or to help anyone with their work. To give advice. To listen to whatever is going on. If I don’t respond immediately, it’s only because I’m busy or I’m a human disaster and don’t see everything right away. 
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dopescotlandwarrior · 5 years ago
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A Hero Among Us-Chapter 13
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Previous Chapters on AO3      A special thanks to @statell​ for all the help
Chapter Thirteen 
Warning: Explicit sex
Jamie ordered the entire compound locked down for three days of rest. Every man was torn back with dark hollow eyes. Even Misses Crook looked exhausted and walked to her rooms like a zombie. The rain had stopped for now and Jaime bravely pulled his shirt off and jumped into the frigid lake running the soap over him In haste and jumping out quickly. Claire brought towels to her husband and appreciated his gesture knowing they would be chasing their own piece of heaven and the smell of a clean Jamie was a fast track for her.
The men had moved all of their personal belongings to the new house and there was no reason to ever go back unless they wanted to retrieve the moldy dishes left in the kitchen sink. Jamie watched the men joke their way to the cabins, always lighthearted and too tough to be daunted by any task. He felt immense pride in his kinsmen and vowed to do right by them financially. He felt his wife pulling him to the house where he would show her no mercy taking what he needed from her. He felt a shiver of anticipation race down his spine and sting his balls.
There was something magical about their new bed. The mattress was firm and supportive making him forget his own name at times. The sheets were made from the highest cotton fiber count making them soft and cool to bare flesh. He kissed Claire from her knee to her core, very slowly making her back arch and spread her legs wantonly. Claire dug her fingers into Jamie’s hair and wondered why he was taking so much time.
“Jamie darling, I need you now, please don’t make me wait.”
Jamie was wedged between her thighs an inch from her core snoring loudly.
Claire pressed her hand to her lips to keep the sound of her laughter from waking him. She pulled her legs away from his head and covered him with a sheet before opening the french doors to the gorgeous spring day. She knew he would sleep better if the air was cool in the room. She felt powerful arms reach for her pulling her to his chest, still sound asleep, the man knew he wanted her close to him, conscious or not. Jamie would wake after sleeping through the day and half the night with a hunger for his bride. He worshiped her body for hours sending her on multiple trips into the erotic wind. With the dawn, he growled her name before collapsing into another day-long sleep.
Fortunately Misses Crook was up to receive the fresh fish and turkeys brought by the industrious men who needed meat, and a lot of it. She had three turkeys roasting outside and the fish frying in the kitchen by mid-afternoon.
Cho staked out his enormous garden and was turning the rich black soil to make ready for the seed that was donated by the nearby farms. The owners would have blushed with pride at their own generosity if they knew anything about it. He chose a spot that got full morning sun and he anticipated a huge bounty of tomatoes, corn, squash, lettuce, cauliflower, peppers, and more. Cho was happier than he could ever remember being. He understood the weight of his position here and was grateful for the trust placed on him.
Claire slipped quietly to the nursery and held the stuffed bear to her chest feeling the tears and the pain of her heartbreak. She curled up in the corner surrounded by all the discarded toys and cried her eyes out. The blood this morning was proof of what she already knew. No baby grew deep within her. It was the only thing that would heal this orphan, a family or her own, a child she would never leave, a completion to her own story.
Jamie woke to a gut-wrenching hunger and followed the aroma to the kitchen looking for Claire. He filled his plate and checked in with the men while he ate, still looking for his wife. Returning to the kitchen he looked at Claire’s false smile and swollen eyes and his heart broke. He would never reveal his disappointment to her because she was already so sad with the confirmation she was not pregnant, again. He tried to pull her out for a walk around the property but she returned to their bed to grieve in private.
Jamie walked in the fields that surrounded their property for hours. Just before he stepped on their land again he felt something poke him in the back. He was so lost in his thoughts it caught him off guard and he froze, lifting his arms in surrender. The bloke was taking his time and Jamie felt his anger rise over the assault. He twisted and viciously struck out at the man hearing the scared scream of a horse right before he was launched off his feet by a swift kick to his chest. He watched a white stallion gallop away, swinging its head in anger and kicking into the air. “That is one beautiful horse.”
Jamie held his wife through the night hoping she would find her joy again. Just as he did every month as they lived their heartbreak separately, alone.
For the next two weeks, Jamie brought fresh hay out to where he was accosted by the horse and replenished what had been eaten the night before. He suspected the horse belonged to the previous owners and wanted his comfy stall and daily feed again. Jamie kicked himself for scaring the beast half to death and hoped he could lure it back to the life it was meant to have.
The soft April breeze was warm and scented against Jamie’s face. He sat on the porch off their bedroom and looked at the vineyard below. The first thing he did every morning and the last thing every night was to check the vines. He never considered they wouldn’t grow, it never occurred to him. Now it was all he thought about because the new growth was three weeks late. Ben was away seeing friends and Jamie needed him back before he lost his mind.
The month of May arrived to double Jamie's anxiety over the vines. He stroked Donus and gave both horses a morning apple suddenly feeling his skin start to crawl and his back muscles tense like someone was there and watching him. He could feel this presence, above him, in the hayloft, but continued about his chores. Another five minutes and he definitely saw something move through the cutout above the stalls for hay distribution. Grabbing a rake he brought the claw end down on the edge of the hayloft making a terrible sound. He heard a squeak and dropped the rake to climb into the loft and kill the varmint. Seeing the shadow of something under a pile of hay he viciously grabbed at it shocked to feel a shoe and pulled it away from the hay.
“What are ye doing in my hayloft?”
Long soft curls covered a cowering head. The shirt was torn and the pants were filthy. The shoes had a large hole in the top.
“I asked ye a question, what are ye doing in my hayloft?” Realizing it was just a child he toned his voice down and spoke quietly. When the child raised his head, large blue eyes looked at him from a heavy fringe of lashes. The fear in his eyes seemed to disappear as the boy sat up and started yelling in French. Jamie laughed at the youth.
“So, ye say this is yer land and I am the trespasser? Why think such a thing, ye’re a child. Where are your parents?”
The boy knew he was risking being turned over to the authorities who would lock him into an orphanage which to him was more like a prison. He switched to his broken English and endeavored to look angelic to the man.
“I live here and work for the lady until they left. She told me to go home and I came to the barn after she let the horses go. I have been here ever since but you did not see me, milord, because I am too fast.” The child laughed at that and Jamie bristled at the thought of being observed covertly.
“How do you eat?”
“I steal food and have done so from you milord but I can work for meals and I am very hungry right now.”
The aroma of food cooking filled the air and Jamie was not surprised it made the child’s stomach growl. There was more to learn from this boy but seeing his flesh on bones he decided to feed him before turning him over to the Sheriff.
“C’mon let’s get ye fed. Ye mind yer manners and don’t steal anything or I’ll tan yer hide before givin ye to the law.”
The boy had to strain his neck to see Jamie’s face and he realized he was seeing his first giant which was almost as thrilling as eating. Jamie kept the child away from the Highlanders so he could learn more about how a tiny French boy ended up in America, alone. The kid explained he stowed away on the first ship available when he was running away from an angry merchant. He ate the apples in his pockets and fell asleep until nightfall when he planned to escape but the ship was already moving toward the open sea. He stole food and picked up a bit of English watching the passengers from his hiding place below deck.
“I stayed in the dark for a year, milord and when I could stand it no more I snuck out in daylight because I had to see the sun. A girl saw me just as I was running back to hide. She did not tell but brought me food each day after that.” The boy smiled while stuffing food in his mouth, “she had love for me,” and then he laughed almost choking in the process. Jaime slapped him on the back until he calmed down and started eating again.
“Ye werna on the ship for a year, maybe it felt that long but it wasna.”
“Yes, it was a year.”
“The captain would have to miss America and sail all the way around the world for it to take a year.” Jamie was not used to someone questioning his word and it was making him angry.
Claire saw Jamie sitting in the kitchen and went to him smiling, “Jamie darling, I have been looking for …” She looked at the child who had a drumstick hanging out of his mouth and a spoonful of beans ready to shovel in. His round face and pale blue eyes seemed to enchant her until she found her voice.
“And who is our visitor?”
“What’s yer name kid?” Jamie’s voice was gruff and impatient earning him a cold look from Claire.
“Claudel, milord.”
“Did yer mother give ye that name?”
“I suppose, I did not know which one she was so I could not ask her. The madam allowed me to sleep under the stairs and the ladies all treated me the same, so I never knew. One of the girls died of fever and I cried, just in case it was my mother.”
Claire was horrified at what she heard. This poor child brought up in a brothel without the care of a mother. She looked at the angelic child and wanted to cry for him.
“You need more food young man. Which is your favorite? I swear you are skin on bones.”
“I like all of it, milady, thank you.” The boy looked into the angry eyes of the giant and tried to redeem himself.
“Six carriages have arrived at the other home milord.”
“How would you know anything about our other home, boy?”
“I see everything milord.”
“Do ye now? Are the vines at the old house growing new shoots yet?”
The boy laughed and pointed at Jamie. “This can never be milord they look normal now but they are dead.”
Jamie’s heart rate shot up as he realized this child had seen them steal the vines and replace them. He now had a keen interest in making him an ally.
“So, ye say ye work for food, how would you like to work here and we keep ye fed?”
“Thank you, milord, you are a savior to me!”
Claire completely missed the hidden threat of their exposure as she was contemplating what to do with the child. “Well, Mister Claudel, you are too young to be outside. Misses Crook will find you a suitable room in the house and you will start your lessons tomorrow.” She looked at Jamie nod his agreement. “Starting with a bath and clean clothes, let’s go.” She motioned for him to follow her and before they were out of sight, the boy turned to Jamie.
“I have watched long enough to see you are good people, I would not have told what I know.”
Jamie just stared at him feeling very manipulated by the little genius. He felt angry and called after the boy, “ye have the name of a lass and I willna use it. From now on yer name is Fergus and ye better jump when ye called.”
“Yes, milord,” was heard from down the hall.
Misses Crook took over scrubbing the child and locked him in the bathroom while she altered some clothing found in the attic. When Fergus emerged for dinner he looked like a respectable boy except for the intelligent gleam in his eye. After supper, Fergus was sent to bed and was out the window and running before the bedroom door clicked closed. He ran into the fields that surrounded the property and whistled a couple of times before a beautiful white horse came out of the brush and stopped in front of him. He stroked its neck and the horse looked behind him and whinnied. Jamie watched the boy from the shadows and gasped as another horse approached Fergus with a very young filly. All three were the same color white and breathtaking. Fergus gave each adult an apple he had stolen from the kitchen and the baby allowed him to stroke her. Jamie watched with interest and followed but once the sunset, he lost him in the dark and gave up. He would say nothing about this until he learned more about the little thief.
The moon rose in the sky providing enough light for Jamie to see the outline of the boy coming back. He held one large, moving sack and a smaller one in the other hand. He set the big sack down every ten or so steps like it was too heavy to carry. Jamie watched him disappear into the barn and when he came out he secured the door behind him. Fergus looked up at the second floor until he spotted one curtain closed, the other open, and knew which room was his.
“Gettin back up isna so easy. Maybe we plant a sturdy ladder to ease yer nightly shenanigans, aye?”
Fergus spun toward Jamie, wide-eyed and terrified. “I’m sorry milord. I had a dark job to do for Misses Crook. She misses her chickens and is sad without them, so I got them for her, they are in the barn.”
The boy talked so fast Jamie could barely understand him. He walked to the barn and there were five chickens pecking at scratch, also brought by Fergus, he assumed.
“Goodnight Fergus. I’m sure ye’ll find a way back up there by morning.”
Jamie was exhausted and couldn’t wait to see his wife. He felt the heavy weight of his responsibilities every day and he didn’t like the complication of the little thief under their roof. He prayed for tolerance, patience, and a means to ingratiate the lad before he figured out how to blackmail them. He rubbed his forehead and counted the stairs left to climb.
Head back, eyes closed he let his thoughts drift in and out, seeing memories of Claire bundled up on the swing kissing his cheek because she could not speak. He smiled, and suddenly his eyes slammed open with a gasp shooting him to his feet so fast he felt dizzy. How could they leave it behind! The swing was still at the old property. He needed to get it back, right away and hoped it had not been noticed by the Randalls. He crept out the backdoor to retrieve the raft holding the lamp up trying to find the rope.
“What are ye doin?”
Jamie nearly shot right out of his skin and almost dropped the lamp. “Christ, Angus, I think yer tryin to kill me sneakin up like that.” Jamie tried to control his ramming heart. “ Since yer here, yer comin with me.”
“Can I come too?”
Jamie whirled on a black figure hunkered down about twenty paces away. He saw the red cheeks first as Rupert stood up and walked toward them. He tipped his bucket of crayfish at the other two men and chuckled. “Where might ye be goin?”
Jamie rolled his eyes and told them about getting the swing for Claire as he pulled the rafts out of the water grass and to the shore. Jamie held his heart and the other two men talked like friends, or maybe enemies, Fergus couldn’t be sure. Crouched low to the ground he peered around the corner of the house and watched them. The men made enough noise to wake the dead, he decided, and when they faced forward to row he snuck quietly onto the third raft and laid down very still.
Fergus was thrilled with his trip across the water. The dark shoreline could barely be seen and the houses stood as black squares in the distance. He felt very lucky these men did fun things like this.
At the opposite shore, Jaime turned around to tie the raft and the sight of Fergus smiling and waving filled him with rage. Fergus jumped from raft to raft until he stood in front of Jamie looking up and smiling. Jamie glared angrily and wondered what kind of message was in the boy’s smiling eyes and face. He had no idea but decided to surrender and stop trying to control the lad. “Keep quiet or ye swim back.”
The white swing was clearly visible in the moonlight and Jamie felt relief it was still there. They worked fast and when the chains came down Jamie caught them quietly. They placed the swing on the raft without taking it apart. They all felt a bit nervous and decided to get away from this shore as quickly as possible.
Jamie pushed his oar deep into the water and felt his beefy back muscles pull it through. He looked back at Fergus holding the swing like it might fall off the raft. Jamie smiled at him and kept rowing. Back at their own shore, he found a perfect secluded yard to hang the swing and hoped Claire would be happy to have it back. Three men and a boy disbanded to their beds happy with the night’s work.
The next morning the butler walked toward the house and noticed the big swing was gone. He pointed to it but none of the servants could remember it being there. Just before noon, Frank senior stood up and stretched asking his wife if she was going to pull her worthless ass out of bed today. She didn’t answer him causing his blood to boil. In a rage, he pushed her from behind and her body was lifeless, literally, she was dead.
Jamie’s eyes opened to a room full of sunshine, one of the rare days his exhaustion won the battle with his eyelids. He wandered outside to check the vines and saw a dozen men throughout vines looking closely at the arms of the plant. Jamie started running feeling a huge relief. The men were smiling as Jamie reached a vine and dropped to his knees to scrutinize the tiny bumps that had grown overnight. A heavy hand came down on his shoulder snapping him back.
“Looks like I got here just in time.”
Jamie looked up at Ben and shook his head no. It was indeed a miracle to know the vines were alive but the budding was a month late. The grapes would never be ready in time. “They are growin too late in the spring Ben.”
“Nonsense! I’ve seen this before after a transplant and mother nature will… ah heck, I don’t want to spoil it for ya!”
“Wait…Ben, it’s alright, I dinna mind if ye spoil it for me.”
Ben smiled indulgently at Jamie. “It will take about a month for the new growth to catch up to vines that started in April. It’s one of nature's miracles, she does not like waste. Speaking of waste, I purchased ten acres of two-year-old vines from the natives on my way back. The vines are already out of the ground and will arrive later today. It’s a long time to be away from the earth but hopefully, we can save some of them and add to the vineyard.”
Jamie’s head was spinning from all he heard in the last ten minutes and Ben saw the vacant expression on his young face.
“These vines are Cabernet Sauvignon and I have a hunch this variety will be very popular. We need to augar at least ten acres on the hills. You might want to ring the bell and get us moving!”
Jamie looked at Ben and suddenly understood. His eyes got huge and he ran for the bell ringing it for all he was worth. As the men gulped porridge and grabbed toast they ran for the equipment barn finding ten augars. Other men were splitting wood for stabilizing poles. Jamie saddled Brimstone to ride into town for supplies.
The same symptoms gripped him with each trip to town. The darkness that invaded his mind laying waste to any joy that had been there, a pounding head, itching hands, and a locked site-Line to the bank where his enemy still drew a salary and a breath. He felt his feet moving and tried to stop himself but this was long overdue. It was time to settle a score and he felt giddy relief it would be over soon. He took a seat and waited, allowing gruesome fantasies about the killing fill his head. He finally asked the manager where Rodney Benson was. The manager lowered his voice saying he was found dead behind the bank four months prior. The killer was never caught. Jamie thanked him and left, passing Frank Randall senior, unbeknownst, on his way out.
Through the summer, the vines grew, the berry clusters were thinned, mother nature was cooperative with healthy amounts of rain, no droughts, and no floods. Misses Randall was buried next to her son. Randall senior and his servants gave up when the vines did not grow and returned to England.
Ned formalized the deed from Romania and filed a new deed in Claire’s name for the old property. She was free to inhabit the house and land, grow and sell her crop, and would hand it over if her husband's surviving family came to claim it. She and Jamie owned both shores and would make the most of them in the coming years.
When Ned returned to the vineyard in late July he requested Jamie and Claire accompany him into town in their best clothes. Misses Crook made a masterpiece of Claire’s hair in the current style and pinned a fancy hat with a large feather to her hair. The dress she wore was one of her best from London. Jamie helped his wife into the carriage to sit with Ned while he and Fergus drove the horses to town.
Thinking their surprise would be dinner at the best restaurant in the region the moods were happy and celebratory. Ned pounded on the roof of the carriage and guided Jamie down a side road. Jamie brought the horses to a stop and looked at the commercial photographer’s building. His heart squeezed so hard he clutched his chest and looked down at Ned helping Claire out of the carriage. When he jumped down the men exchanged a knowing look and Jamie clutched Ned’s hand as if to stop him from leaving.
“Jamie, I came to San Francisco two years ago to find you, or find out what happened to you. It is time for me to return to Scotland and I will make your sister a very happy lady.” Ned looked down and struggled with his emotions. “I am rather invested in your lives now so promise you will write to me. Tears are not good in pictures but I see your love and it is returned. Your father would be so proud of the man you’ve become, you are the best man I’ve known besides Brian, and I hope you never change.”
Jamie was fighting weird and sad emotions that were very foreign to him, or so he thought. Sorrow, abandonment, a final goodbye, a loss in his soul he could drive a train through. He could barely remember a time when Ned was not standing next to his father. It was like having his father back when Ned was there and he didn’t want it to end.
As memories of the past year filled his head he realized that Ned was the driving force to leave their vineyard and move the plants, Ned pushed them to find a new property, Ned found the Romanians, Ned filed the legal papers to secure their claim. Ned came halfway around the world to find him and now it was time to go back.
“Thank ye, Ned. Ye saved us and gave us the best advice. I am grateful and sad to see ye leave. Please tell Jenny I love her and we will visit in three years' time.” Jamie hugged Ned and hoped it would last a lifetime.
For the next hour, they were blinded by flashes of exploding chemicals as the photographer took multiple pictures, including one with Fergus between them.
When Claire finally let go of Ned, Fergus helped her into the carriage. The two men exchanged a long look and a handshake and Ned watched the carriage roll toward their home. The angle of the sun bounced off Jamie’s copper hair until the horizon swallowed them.
Claire cried as she bathed alone. She would miss Ned more deeply than the others knew because he had become like a father in her mind. She imagined her father was just like him; smart, loving, funny, and intensely protective. Realizing Jamie’s heartache would be far greater she ran her special soap over her skin. The scent made Jamie putty in her hands and she would love the sadness from him. She pulled her special robe around her body and combed through her long coils fluffing it around her face.
The bedroom door opened and Jamie looked at his gorgeous wife as she walked toward him. She sat facing him across his lap and prayed he would let her love him. Jamie held her tentatively.
“I need ye lass,” he whispered.
His eyes flicked up to hers and he twisted, lowering her to the bed. Pulling the ties of her robe he let his eyes see every inch of her. He noticed her chest rise and fall with arousal and he knew a kernel of thought planted in her fertile mind would grow without tending. She has been thinking about loving me and her body is ready to chase her release, he thought. He brought his nose to her skin, between her breasts and filled his lungs with her scent feeling his erection snap to attention. He gently pressed her hands to her side when she tried to take control. “Please give me your body, Sassenach, I need ye, my heart hurts as if my own da was leavin me again. He caressed her from neck to core and watched the movement of her ample breasts as his fingers drew closer to her trigger.
“I’m sorry Sassenach,” he whispered. “To relieve my heartache, you must suffer.”
His hot mouth covered her nipple and his tongue danced lazily across it. For the next hour, he held her hands above her head as he touched, tapped, and sucked every inch of her. Claire felt her orgasm was close, brought on by flexing her thighs together. She started to close her eyes and felt it suck her in until Jamie pushed her legs apart with a deep kiss that said: “not yet,there is more I want to touch.” He lifted her body and turned her over, running his hand over her beautiful butt. Pressing his hand under her he gave a stimulating rub that made her moan and move her hips toward him.
“Open yer legs, lass, let me in.”
Jamie grabbed a fist full of hair and thrust into her body, holding her against him. Claire gasped loudly and waited, hoping he would release the pent up arousal caused by his slow loving. He pushed into her several times and wrapped his arm across her chest lifting her to him, back to chest, pushing her legs open with his knees. It was a slave position where he could hold her down and thrust up into her reaching depths that threatened her sanity and his. He pulled out of her abruptly and was under her before she cleared the lust haze that was holding down her brain. He looked up at her smooth flat stomach, the swell of her breasts, hard nipples, head thrown back in ecstasy.
The Sassenach had many sides to her. With Fergus, the men, the horses, or Ben, there was a little shift in her personality to best embrace that moment in time. Throughout, her impeccable manners and grace defined her. Not here. When he pushed her sexually she became a polar opposite of his refined wife. She was a sensual being, needy, greedy, taking what she wanted to feed a hunger only he could satisfy. The contrasting personalities were an endless source of fascination to him.
“Look at me Sassenach. Watch me lick you and hold back as long as you can. If you look away I will stop, love. Tell me yer ready.”
“Ready, yes ready!” She panted and watched Jamie’s tongue claim her inside and out. She was losing her grip and dropped her head back and closed her eyes ready for the release and then nothing. “No!” She moaned “Pleeease Jamie.” She opened her legs even more and looked down at her protruding bud hovering right above his lips. “Open your mouth,” it sounded like an order and Jamie smiled, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue against her core. “Suck it,” was a harsh whisper. His lips closed around it and she felt the brain spinning sensation of his expert attention. When she had completely lost her mind he flipped her and invaded her body with fingers and tongue until she screamed his name for a solid minute. Before she landed back on earth he was able to spin her again and her pussy was stuffed with an over-aroused cock and a voice was telling her to make him come. “Now Sassenach, grind on me, slam yer pussy down on me. Do it. Make me come.” Claire was still half out of her mind and Jamie’s demands fueled her arousal again. Claire leaned far back and brought her feet forward. She touched him where they joined and Jamie pressed into her making her gasp. He looked down and almost lost it, seeing an erotic image he would never forget. Claire was chasing another orgasm and seemed to know exactly what she needed. “Touch it!” Jamie set his fingers on either side of her clit so the harder she rocked him the closer she came to the promised land. He watched her beautiful face and bouncing breasts until he felt the sting of his ejaculation start. He grabbed her hips and forced himself into her body feeling the velvety muscle constrict around him like a strong hand. He moaned into the intense orgasm as her body finished him.
Claire felt him pulse inside of her as he panted for his life. Her body felt like jello and the room spun as he pulled her down next to him. Still panting he looked at her closely and pushed the hair out of her face. He was terrified he had gone too far and he called to her.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, did I hurt ye? Are ye alright Sassenach? To say anything more would incriminate himself for being a brute and he felt wretched inside. He watched closely as she opened her eyes. She smiled at him like they just discovered the lost treasures of King Solomon. An erotic secret between the two of them. She purred, pushing him to his back on the bed and closing her eyes to the exhaustion. Jamie felt overwhelming relief and a new level of trust from his wife. As always, he had a deep desire to dance a jig but she was already in her dreams so he closed his eyes to oblivion.
When Jamie’s eyes opened a few hours later they felt like sandpaper. He dragged himself to the barn to feed the horses, including the beautiful pair of white Arabians and the baby that Fergus lured back into their protection. Fergus fell in beside Jamie as he always did, noticing the giant was quiet and sleepy today. They walked to the flat acreage where the white grapes were nearly bursting. Jamie held his hand out and Fergus pushed the hydrometer into it. Jamie’s eyes had closed, a trick Fergus had seen more than a few times. Milord could remain standing yet fully asleep including body twitching and dreaming. Fergus guided his hand to a cluster where he plucked a grape and started snoring. Fergus continued the test as they had done every morning for a month and his young eyes went wide at the Brix rating. He ran to the bell and yanked it over and over again snapping Jamie’s head up, suddenly wide awake. “Christ, why today?”
Jamie ran into the whites taking multiple Brix readings and agreed with Fergus, it was time.
The cabin doors flew open and the men poured out into the vineyard like a practiced fire drill. Jamie was running for the holding containers and pulling them into the vineyard three at a time. Cho led his Chinese pickers with a quiet dignity until they could no longer stand it and they broke away and started filling their bags.
Claire was aware of the shouts and happy whoops outside and quickly surmised the harvest had begun. She was numb to it and pressed herself deeper into the corner of the nursery. Hot fat tears shimmered in her eyes until they spilled over, one after the other. Tucking her thighs up close to her chest she laid her head on her knees and gave into the sobs as she grieved her empty womb. When she could cry no more the nursery door would be closed for another month and someday, many months, she hoped.
By mid-morning, she felt strong enough to join Jamie and offer her help. With a fresh rag in hand she Pulled the used rag away she saw several drops of blood on an otherwise clean rag. She stared at it wondering what to make of it. Normally, her first day was a heavy flow. She counted on her fingers and stood stunned realizing her courses should have started a week ago. Stabbing her legs into breeches she bound her painful breasts, shoved her hair into her hat and lifted her leg to slide down the banister. Opting instead to walk down the stairs, she wondered if this was her first time descending to the first floor on her feet.
Claire waited as long as she could before walking into the vineyard to request time with Cho. He looked up from his vine and dropped his bag to rise and bow. Through crimson cheeks from embarrassment, Claire told Cho exactly what was happening. She laid on the mats in his home and nodded her head at the packet of needles he held up. She squeezed her eyes shut and was surprised when Cho asked her to sit up. She felt nothing and wondered if he decided not to do the treatment. It took little time for Cho to see the direction of her Chi.
Claire stared at Cho with wide eyes that started to tear up. She was afraid to ask but could not stop the tears. Cho took her hands, “there is life in your womb Mistress, your Chi flows through it. Congratulations.” He helped Claire to her feet and saw the light shining in her eyes. This child would be blessed with the love of a strong mother, he thought. He smiled to himself and returned to the vineyard.
Misses Crook watched the mayhem from the window, still a bit heartbroken by Ned’s departure. She watched Claire walk slowly toward Jamie and rolled her eyes sternly at her breeches and hair piled under a hat. Lost in her own thoughts, she watched Claire whisper in Jamie’s ear and he dropped to his knees hugging her. Misses Crook’s hand flew to her mouth as her eyes went wide. “Sweet Jesus, there’s a bairn comin!”
Jamie held his beautiful wife in the middle of the chaos and felt his tears of joy coming. He led Claire to their rooms and stripped her before pressing his head to her abdomen. He was flushed and starry-eyed, suddenly pulling her to the bed and tucking her in protectively. Claire was giggling so hard she could hardly speak. When she would try to climb out from the quilts he would pull her back with a determined, happy face.
“Jamie darling, I will not take to my bed, there is too much to do and I am very healthy. Please don’t worry or it will be a very long year, my love.” She kissed her hero with all of her heart and they locked eyes for a long minute. “Now, get back to work before all the men decide to abandon the grapes as you just did.” He hugged her once more and ran from the room.
Fergus had a hooked tool and his canvas bag was a bit longer than he was, so he dragged it from one plant to the other. When he saw Jamie he reached clear to the bottom and pulled out a cluster triumphantly. Jamie looked at the sun bouncing off the sharp edge of the hook and wondered if this was a good idea, and then laughed at his ignorance. How could he ever assume control over this weird and wonderful little kid. Fergus laughed and pointed at Jamie, “milord was sleeping and I read the number and pulled the bell. It is lucky I am here!”
“Aye, very lucky. Now get back to work.”
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weilongfu · 5 years ago
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Wei watches Until We Meet Again Ep 12
Flashback time! Baby Intouch! Wow, his sister was so much older at that time. Their family seems so sweet at this time too. 
Back in the present, Pharm is making some food, as per usual. Dean comes over and Pharm asks why he’s awake already. Pharm admits he’s making their breakfast, a really lovely sounding spread. Dean asks if he can help and Pharm gives him a task of sprinkling sugar and sesame seeds on the crepes. Dean remarks that the colors are nice and asks how Pharm made them. All from natural food colors! (BTW butterfly pea flower is pretty cool).
Dean then makes a reference to the first time he met Pharm at the grocery store and how after he gave Pharm the mung beans, he ran away. Pharm asks why he’s teasing him and Dean tells him to never run away from him again or he’ll throw a mung bean at him. Bit of a tall order Dean, but I’ll trust you to not do anything bad to Pharm. If you do, you’re gonna get jumped.
Dean then helps pack the food, remarking how good it looks. Dean tastes a bit and says it tastes good and that Pharm should. Pharm doesn’t want to so Dean teases him some more. Pharm asks why Dean teases him and Dean says that people have said that he’d tease the person he loves. Dean and Pharm continue to be silly and cute in the kitchen until Pharm sends him away to take a shower. 
They then eat breakfast, Pharm made Japanese hamburger steak, but put in climbing wattle instead of onions and such. Dean is impressed and says it’s delicious. Pharm tells Dean he doesn’t usually like to eat climbing wattle, but he always likes it with hamburger. 
Next the two go to the temple to offer food to the monks. Pharm tells Dean that his dad always took him and his brother to give food, so he would wake up early to cook with his mom. Dean asks if that’s why Pharm likes cooking and he nods. Pharm asks if Dean ever did the same and Dean says he used to with his grandmother. But she was very fierce and strict, making him get up early. Dean then asks about Pharm’s dad. Pharm says his dad was very nice and always in a good mood. 
Pharm then says he gets the same feeling from Dean that he used to from his dad. But clarifies that the overall atmosphere of Dean’s is the same. (Probably because Dean is the reincarnation of one of your uncles, Pharm!) Pharm goes on to tell Dean that he’s got a grandfather and an uncle he hasn’t met for a long time. Pharm then says he’ll probably meet them after his mom comes back.
The monk shows up at last and the two make an offering of the food to the monk with some flowers. The monk then gives his blessing and the two kneel to receive it. The monk then tells them to go do another offering and do the pouring of the water. The two do so and Dean gives Pharm little glances as they do so. As the blessing is finished, the monk remarks that strength and trust will see Dean and Pharm through their problems. He also says there are both good and bad things that tie them together and that forgiveness is important and not to forget it. The two then share a look. And the monk just sits there while they have this moment. Sorry, sir. 
As they drive, Pharm contemplates why the monk mentioned the importance of forgiveness and he wonders who Intouch could have been mad at. Pharm wonders if it has something to do with letting Dean stay with him. His nightmares are better when Dean stays, etc. Pharm finally comes out of his thoughts to realize they aren’t going home and he asks Dean where they’re going. Dean remains silent and keeps driving. Pharm’s expression changes a bit, perhaps he recognizes where they are or has realized what Dean is doing. It’s something between shock and horror, I would say, on Pharm’s face.
Dean asks Pharm if he’ll be okay. Pharm continues silently freaking out and Dean tells him to calm down and that it’s okay. Pharm tries to say something, but can’t seem to find the words. Dean notices and covers Pharm’s hand with his own for support and tells Pharm not to force himself. If he can’t bear to go see Dean’s grandmother, then he will take him home. At last, Pharm says they should go. 
They reach the house and wow, that is a lot of potted plants. Pharm starts to take everything in and starts to look overwhelmed. Dean tells Pharm to look at him and reminds him that no one in the house can hurt them. Pharm asks about Intouch’s dad and Dean says he passed away a long time ago. However An, is still alive and was divorced years ago. Dean then tells Pharm that before he meets An, he wants to tell Pharm about Alin, Intouch’s niece. Dean explains that Alin has three children. Pharm is surprised to hear that she’s married. Dean explains all children are in college and tells all their faculties. Pharm finally realizes what’s going on and Dean confirms that Alin is his mom and An is his grandmother. Pharm looks more distraught but Dean hugs him to calm him down. 
He then asks Pharm to tell him who he is. Pharm replies that he’s Pharm and Dean says yes, you are, but today he has brought Pharm there so Intouch can see his sister again. He also has brought Pharm there to meet his grandmother as Pharm, to introduce him as Dean’s lover. Pharm admits he’s confused and Dean asks what he’s confused about. Pharm says he’s not sure if it’s because he’ll meet Intouch’s sister An or Dean’s grandmother. Dean encourages him all the same and the two approach. 
The two walk in and Dean says he thinks his grandmother is in the kitchen since he didn’t tell her he’d stop by. Pharm walks on ahead after that. The two make it to the kitchen to see An cooking. Pharm waits in the doorway for a second before continuing in. Dean walks up behind Pharm and tells him to go to her and do whatever he wants to do, he’ll wait in the back. Pharm walks up, eyes already getting teary, and calls out to An. An slowly turns and remembers the song she sang to Intouch to sing him to sleep. Through her eyes, she sees Intouch again as Pharm stands there. She recalls Intouch’s doe eyes, remembering playing with him as a little boy, and at last she hugs Pharm as Intouch, saying how much she’s missed him. She asks Pharm if he’s In and Pharm nods, before the two hug again. Pharm also tells her he’s missed her as In. This scene is so wonderfully emotional.
An asks Pharm as In to never leave her again, a tall order, but I’m sure that’s just the old wounds resurfacing. After the emotional reunion, Dean makes a remark about them crying a lot. RUDE.
Anyway Pharm then asks about Intouch’s dad and An says he died so long ago, she can hardly remember, but Intouch’s mom passed away 10 years ago. Pharm then asks who An is living with and Dean says he can call Alin mom, An agrees. Pharm takes it in stride and asks if she’s living alone. An says she is, but her grandchildren come to see her all the time so she’s not lonely. Pharm asks if he can come visit and An happily agrees. Pharm promises to come with Dean to visit often. Dean offers to bring him on the weekends so they can eat together and An is very pleased and happy to hear it. Dean watches Pharm and An together, but it seems to be a calm and peaceful thing. 
The three eat and Don and Del come in the end to visit. Don asks about why Pharm is there and asks if Dean brought Pharm to introduce him as his lover. Del spills the beans that Dean stayed with Pharm last night and she had no idea he’d bring Pharm to visit today. An then tells Dean that she’d told him not to tease Pharm so much and Dean chokes on his water before defending himself. 
Don agrees that Dean probably didn’t do anything, but then asks if Pharm did something. Pharm says no and that nothing happened. An remarks that there’s so much teasing going on that she’ll faint. Don then asks what Dean said to their grandma because she’s agreeing with the relationship. Dean says he didn’t do anything and An says Pharm is so cute, how can she not accept him. She then also tells Don and Del that Dean had come clean that first day he came to visit.
Don then asks if Dean is getting grandma on his side before the parents come back. Dean says nothing and goes back to eating. Don thinks Dean is tricky. Del, apparently wants to get in on this ish with teasing Dean and scandalizing their grandmother, and asks if there’s a hidden agenda in Dean taking Pharm with him to Kanchanaburi. Don says it’s time for them to confess and Dean says he just wants a reward since he won the swimming competition so that’s why he’s taking him. An tells them to stop talking and get more plates to eat. As Don and Del get settled, Pharm gives An food and An tells Pharm to eat more and try everything she cooked. 
Next scene is the team packing the bus for the trip to Kanchanaburi. Pharm shows up and even without seeing Dean’s face, you can hear how pleased he is. Yacht makes another cameo appearance to remark that Dean, as president of the swim club/team, is abusing his authority to bring Pharm. He says he wants to bring his girlfriend too. Win smacks him and tells him to get on the bus and to stop being nosy. Team comes up and remarks that they’re being so sweet. Dean throws his bag at Team, who catches it. Pharm moves to throw his bag too and Team stops him. Win even remarks that since Dean and Pharm have been dating, Pharm has become just a little more sadistic like Dean. (WHEN? HOW? HE IS STILL SWEET SMOL BOY?)
Win asks why Team is teasing them before dragging him onto the bus. Before he can get very far, Team offers Dean his bag back. Dean then turns to Pharm and tells him to pay them no mind before they get on the bus. The two sit together. Pharm asks since they practice swimming, doesn’t the team get tired of being in the water. Dean says they don’t and Pharm feeds him something. Yacht calls out again about how sweet the two are being and asks if they even notice how jealous everyone else is. Win whines about not having anyone to feed him either and turns to look at Team. Team asks him what he’s looking at before turning to look out the window. (PREM YOU BEAUTIFUL BRAT.) Pharm then gets up and goes to Win and offers him some of the food. Win still complains about not being fed and Pharm calls out to Team and asks him to “feed this lonely person.” Team says no way and Win continues to insist. Team spears some food and then feeds himself as Win opens his own mouth. Win knocks Team’s head a bit, but then feeds himself.
The team finally reaches the first bridge they’re stopping at and Team and Win are first off the bus. Team remarks how hot it is and puts on a bucket hat. (SO CUTE?!) Win continues his trend of just dragging the poor boy around by the neck. Pharm and Dean step off next and Dean gives Pharm his hat to wear as they go. 
As the team gets on the bridge to look around and take pictures, Pharm asks how long Dean and Win have known each other. Dean tells Pharm they’ve been friends since high school. Dean went to a banquet at the beach with his grandmother and was bored. He went to swim and met Win. They were the only kids the same age that were there. Then they found out they were going to the same high school. Pharm then asks if Win has always had all those tattoos and Dean confirms Win had them since he was in 11th grade. He had even dragged Dean with him. Pharm then asks if Dean has a tattoo and Dean confirms he got one at a “hidden spot” and asks if Pharm wants to know where. Pharm says he wants to see and asks where it is. Dean places Pharm’s hand on his hip and says it’s there. He offers to show and Pharm says he suddenly doesn’t want to see anymore.
Win jumps in at this time to ask to take photos for “fan service.” He drags Dean away and so Team and Pharm decide to take photos together as well. Truly these are boys who know their own best angles. Win remarks he could sell Dean’s photos.
Back on the bus, Dean asks if Pharm is having fun and he says he is. He then says they should go on another trip. Dean remarks that they only just started this trip and Pharm is already planning the next. Pharm asks if he can’t and Dean replies that he wants their next trip to be visiting Pharm’s mother in the US. Pharm agrees and the two smile a lot. Pharm then rests his head on Dean’s shoulder and Dean rests his head on Pharm’s. CUTE.
They finally reach the resort and Mew (Yacht’s character) has some carsickness. Dean explains that they will have two people to a room and they can buy food from the hotel lobby. Win tells Team their room is the one that’s the farthest and Team asks when he agreed to stay with Win, arguing that he’s staying with Mew. Win disagrees and drags him away. At the dam, the team goes boating/canoeing and Pharm asks Dean if he can go in the water. Dean says of course. Pharm gets strapped into a floating vest with Team to have fun. 
We then see a scene of Korn and Intouch. Korn asks Intouch why he likes eating ice cream and In says he likes eating all the sweet things. Korn remarks that it looks too sweet and In denies it. In then tries to feed Korn some and after some badgering, Korn does go in for the bite, but In swaps out the spoon for his lips. The frame freezes before they kiss. What a tease!
In the preview, it looks like Dean and Pharm are gonna get a little steamy!
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