#Never native cajuns

[ciderjacks]

just remembered one half of my fav actor duo is indigenous…..2day is a good day

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Alastor watching the princess and the frog by Disney ? It’s in lousiana in the 1920s so it would be perfect for him

absolutelyyyyyyy the princess and the frog is one of my fav disney movies from characters to soundtrack, so this one’s a bit longer. also kind of a part two but also not exactly

history ramble below

also i did some light research on new orleans history because if im gonna write alastor i should know. doggy i love me some history and this history is rich, depressing at times but also rich and meanful to know so i thought id share a little. from talking about the free the peoples movement, to the way women got their rights to their hair back that they didn’t have when enslaved only to have a law banning natural hair and hair wraps and so they decorated the wraps and used coloured fabrics effectively rendering the law useless, to the wealthiest black man of the 1870s for being a prospering business owner, the origins of how voodoo and other spiritual practices mingled perfectly with the pre established voodoo and how voodoo was predominantly black women who were highly respected, the first black man to be govoner in the united states in only 1871, a black woman named Rose Nicaud who opened the first coffee stand in 1800 and made enough to escape being ensalved. then there’s lighter topics like some of the jazz history and how it made various black stars like louie armstrong, and also how the language mingled to make the cajun french that’s sadly dying out, to the architecture that flourished through the varying clashes in culture between african, european, native and haitian peoples. if it’s not too upsetting to read i definitely suggest this page to have an insight on some of the quick history on new orleans, i enjoyed learning about the strength that many had during this time.

United teachers of new orleans < page i was reading

Warnings: jealous Al teehee, reader crushes on naveen and dr facilier (don’t mind me just projecting), cuddling, swearing, alastor doesn’t really know emotions good, fluffy banter, just some ushy gushy mushy tushy

Word count: 2k

The movie Bambi didn't even finish playing before the patrons started to filter out of the room heading to bed. First to go was Vaggie carrying a sleeping Charlie, Sir pentious promptly following along telling his fussy egg boys it was long past their bed time. Then it was Niftys turn to disappear, however she never said a goodnight only sped off leaving behind her vacant swishing rocking chair.

Then once Angel and Husk left, you had decided to just call it quits on Bambi, Alastor hadn't moved much or objected to you turning off the movie, only watching the projector as you scrolled through the app.

You stopped on the princess and the frog, grinning toward Alastor he sighed, getting a glimpse of your mischief from the corner of his eye. "Now what's this about darling?" Turning your body towards his fully facing him, you waited for his gaze to finally meet yours, and reluctantly it did. "Allow me to introduce you to one of, if not, thee best disney movies of all time; the princess and the frog," Alastor's finger rose as he took a breath to speak, but before he could say a word you interrupted him.

"Yes I know princess yuck, whatever Al. It takes place in New Orleans, its main focus is actually in the poorer area with the shotgun houses, and throughout the movie Tiana, the princess, travels through the bayou, oh! With Naveen one of the hottest princes, also it takes place in the twenties, oh!-" Before you could continue Alastor gently gripped your cheeks, your lips puckering involuntarily as he did so."What did you just?"

"Takes place in the nineteen twenties?" You asked, voice muffled from Alastors grip on your cheeks. "Before that dear." Your eyebrows raised looking at Alastor not trying to hide your confusion. "Naveen? One of the hottest princes?" Alastor hummed, booping your nose. "Yes dear, that."

"Yeah. duh dude he's one of the few princes that deserve the princess, he changes for Tiana, he's charismatic, funny, but nevermind that back to what i was saying. There's varying New Orleans culture littered through that might make you feel closer to home, all the music is jazz obviously." Opening your mouth readying to rant on about the Voodoo man that you adored, Alastor hushed you with his finger up to your lips.

"My sweet dear, I will watch this silly picture show so long as you stop rambling about it." Alastor wasn't truly done with hearing your rambling, he was enjoying hearing that you were such a fan of something that centred so close to home when it came to him however if he was going to watch it he rather not have it spoiled.

Giddily you clasped your hands together and hit play, your love for the film and excitement to see Alastors reaction may have made you slightly over enthusiastic just a bit. As the movie began you curled your feet up onto the couch, inching yourself closer to Alastor looking up to his face and back to the movie.

When Naveen got introduced on screen you accidentally gripped Alastors arm tightly shaking him. "My mannn~" You squealed happily, letting go of Alastor once you heard the unmistakable rattle come from him, a growl sounding out of his chest. You didn't pay much attention to him though, instead turning back to the projector and backing off Al. However Alastor wasn't too frustrated with the fact you touched him, but because you were being so ushy gushy over some fake man.

He was easily the same if not better than Naveen. Alastor was charismatic, charming, he could sing, play instruments, he didn't quite understand why you were so particularly interested in this Naveen. Hell, even Alastor had a similar outfit back when he was alive, he could've been Naveen when he was alive.

You didn’t notice Alastor having a mini tantrum in his own world, you were too engrossed in the movie. Suddenly you’ve gripped him again, pointing at the screen. "The shadow man, Al this is your kin!" You egged laughing maniacally at your own words.

Alastor’s face however brightened at the display of the voodoo man. "One of my fav songs." You whispered as Dr. Facilier began singing on screen. Cocking his head to the side Alastor looked down to you bouncing along to the song. "This fellow sounds similar to Husk." Alastor mentioned, watching intently at the shadows that crawled around Dr. Faciliers room, much like Alastors own shadows. "Yeah it really does sound like Husk. Strange, anyways, Dr. Voodoos hot too." Alastors static buzzed around the room and you had to hold back a giggle at the frustrated look on his face, despite the smile it was obvious he wasn't too happy.

"What's up Al, not liking the movie?" Static crackled around the two of you as you questioned him a little slyly as you could tell he wasn’t hating the movie. “No dear, it’s pleasant in comparison to some things i’ve grit myself through, however,” He paused watching you ogle at both the Dr and Naveen. “I can’t understand what’s so great about this Naveen you like. He’s a fool,” You scoffed at Alastors distaste for Naveen, you didn’t mean to make him feel frustrated at your adoration for the characters but it was endearing to see.

“What’s not to like about the man?” You state confidently but Alastor simply shrugged while humming indifferently. A beat of silence passed, the ending of the song playing out of the projector. “It’s just that,” Alastor started up again after a moment of silence, turning his body to face you hands folded in his lap politely. “You clearly have the odd reaction towards these gentlemen and I can't see why,” To give him credit he did look genuinely confused, and just as you were going to speak up he interrupted.

“And please do not say it’s because he is funny, charismatic, musically talented or sweet because I happen to hold all those same qualities!” He finished, hands thrown in the air like he said something especially spectacular. You had a soft smile present on your face watching him work through the sentence theatrically. “Well, Al you are, maybe i think the same about you?” Record scratch.

You cackled at his frozen state, patting his arm gently, cooing that you were only kidding, you turned back to the TV and the two of you decided to leave it at that.

Later on in the movie, when Tiana and Naveen are with the alligator going down the bayou singing about being human, you stared over at Alastor, your heart thumping at the sight of him. His arms were resting along the back of the couch, legs splayed out comfortably, posture sunken in, and his eyes lidded with a closed calm smile. His ear twitched and soon his eyes moved from the movie to you, quirking a questionable eyebrow at you.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for eyeing him up you tried to play it off by asking him a question. “Is there bayous in New Orleans, is that real?” You ask kinda dumbly, of course they were, you scolded yourself. Alastor didn’t seem to mind though he smiled widely, a chuckle reverberating out of him. “Why yes dear! Of course, I personally never lived close to the bayou, but it surrounds New Orleans, and I have been. It’s quite beautiful during a sunset but there’s tons of alligators.”

You leaned forward interested, but it seemed he’d stopped to refocus on the screen which you wouldn’t complain about. You not so discreetly leaned into his torso, arm still on the back of the sofa behind you, and thankfully he didn’t move when you leaned your body into him, instantly decompressing into his side.

They got to the scene where the gang is on the boat going through the bayou, the crocodile fitting in and playing jazz, when you turned to look up at Alastor seeing him already looking down at you. “What’s up?” You asked, watching as he scanned your face. “Well dear you’re just reminding me of home tonight, it would’ve been interesting to be able to show you where I lived, where I worked. Y’know when i did radio, most people didn’t know what I looked like so it came as quite a shock to some that I wasn’t what they imagined. Some were cruel, but my mother always taught me to be respectable if not respectful, so I managed to keep my grace.”

You giggle at his explanation watching him move his hand in all different directions, the radio host coming into play just at the mention of his job. “I’m flattered you would’ve wanted to show me your home n stuff, i wish it were possible.”

On the projector in front of you two, was the scene between Naveen and Tiana’s first date, where Naveen was going to propose. “They always get married so fast in these movies, you spend three days as a frog and suddenly it’s eternity!” You exclaimed humorously, Alastor scoffed an array of instrumental sounds electronically sounding out from him. “My dear it was common back in the day to get married quick, none of this lollygagging.”

You rolled your eyes blowing out air. “Would you get married to someone you knew for three days?” Alastor hummed, tapping his finger against his chin in exaggerated thought. “If it were you, perhaps, otherwise i’d attempt to lengthen it just a bit.” He reviled in the sight of you bashfully turning your head away, shy at his broad flirt. “You’d marry me, after only three days?” You questioned in disbelief, he hummed wrapping the arm he once had behind you, around you pulling you into him.

“Well I found you to be quite a treat the first day i met you, and decided i wanted to be around you for many days on. Is that not marriage worthy?” This confession shocked you slightly. You never expected him to say that he preemptively planned your blooming friendship nevermind that he equated that to being worth marriage. The movie played on in the background as you both watched each other’s faces.

“To me, dear,” Alastor started a smug smile stretching across his cheeks replacing the calm smile that stayed for so long. “It seems like you may unconsciously feel something towards me too.” Jaw dropping you stared at him confused. “What?” You scoff but Alastor only looked smugger.

“Come now, New Orleans centred movie? Jazz, cooking, even that dumbo man Naveen speaks french loves jazz music and dancing, oh and of course the ever so obvious voodoo, it’s almost like this movie is me, haha.” He laughed manically, eyes crossing as his body shook. It was quite the egotistical assumption on his part, but he wasn’t wrong.

You put it on for him but it seems for you too, you paid more attention to him half the movie, and you’ve been more interested in knowing real life facts about his home during his time then what story the movie was trying to tell. Maybe he was right, but even so what did him pointing it out accomplish? “Well that’s why i wanted to show you it, it’s got many aspects you’re involved with in it.”

You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back for such a good save, however Alastor was keen and knew you long enough to catch your lies. “Sure dear, sure.” Al gave you a condescending pat on the head and you speedily swatted at him. The movie played on you once more captivated by Alastor’s reactions more than the movie itself, you’ve already watched it enough to know.

Tucked under Alastor’s arm, warm and comfy, you barely caught the sound of Alastor huffing out chuckles, gazing up towards the projection you playfully hit him. “Don’t laugh at his death!” That only made Alastor properly laugh, dropping his head back, neck cracking grossly. “My dear it was a lightning bug in love with a star! He got stepped on that was hilarious!”

Sounds of prerecorded laughter sounded out with his natural laugh, you didn’t actually care that he found it funny, only pretended too as you gave him a disapproving glare. As the movie closed in you felt a weird gloom wash over you, it was nice being alone with him by his side while you two relaxed. You didn’t want it ending, but alas Tiana and Naveen kissed turning them human, with the reveal that with marrying Naveen, she became a princess effectively breaking the curse, and the movie started with the end song.

“Well dear I did enjoy that, the voodoo was pretty boringly unrealistic, but it’s for children. I did enjoy the mentioning of foods, very common dishes even I enjoy, like gumbo. But alas it was still a pathetic little movie about mortal love.” Standing to his feet when he finished speaking, Alastor dusted himself off and snapped his fingers making all around you revert to what it was before movie night.

“Do you not want to be in love?” You ask softly partly hoping he didn’t hear you as by the time you stood from your spot, you regret saying it. “Well I certainly haven’t looked. Why disappointed?” Alastor bent himself backwards to look at you since you stood behind him readying to exit. Looking down into his eyes you felt hazy, maybe a little drunk on desire as you gently caressed his cheek. “Maybe I am,”

“Darling.” Alastor said sternly as he cracked himself upward, he bent down facing you this time and before he could talk you once again interrupted. “Can’t blame me can you?” Alastor seemed momentarily taken aback, gazing around lazily trying to collect his thoughts. “My dear, I'm uncertain with emotions like this as well as expressing them, love is foolish, however… if you were to tell me ‘i love you’ i would say it back.”

It confused you, what Alastor said, you couldn’t tell if he was mocking you and telling you he was going to lie about his emotions to spare you, or if he was egging you on attempting to get you to tell him your true feelings. Regardless you swallowed down any worries for the future instead focusing only on the now, and looked deeply into the soft red glow of his eyes.

“I love you Al,” With a cheeky smile you watched him stutter, the visible shock was clear, and you wondered if he actually expected you to say that. Just as you began to worry you fucked up, he bent down to your height. “I love you too my dear,” And with that he gave you the chastised kiss on the lips, before standing to his full height materialising his microphone. “Got to go dear! Duty calls!” And with that he seemingly disappeared into the shadows, leaving you to waddle tiredly to your room. Little did you know that Alastor whisked himself away to have a minor panic attack in the safety of his radio tower, not believing himself and his broad actions, nor could he believe the pounding in his chest and flutter in his heart.

[possibly-in-wonderland]

some modern girl falls into middle earth concepts (the hobbit & lotr)

reader has a gold tooth or two, obvs the company is interested but what happens when thorin gets that gold sickness lmfao

reader has hella tattoos/piercings/body mods (tatted eyeballs, pointed ears, split tongue, fangs, etc) and explains the process to the company (maybe dwalin gets the hots). this is, of course, after the company finds out reader is in fact human and not some odd race they've never heard of

black or native american reader (bc u know how dwarves & elves are with hair)

reader who speaks norwegian and has studied norwegian history (bc why not) and likes to draw comparisons between scandinavian culture and dwarven culture (idk why lmao)

italian reader (bc food)

reader with dai yueqin-length hair (aka if its not up its a tripping hazard to everyone)

reader who's a part of the sca

deaf!reader (maybe bifur's sign language is similar to asl and they end up becoming friends)

blind!reader (reader likes touching faces, im just imagining reader touching one of the dwarves' faces and being like "oh wow ur very handsome", maybe reader likes bigger noses, bigger ears, longer hair, and beards bc they feel interesting as opposed to a clean-shaven face and smaller features)

reader with a beard fetish (*everyone looks at nori and his glorious beard*)

stoner reader who, after falling into middle earth, found themselves constantly stoned stupid due to eating a brownie before the fall (and by some weird magical thing, their body is now "glitched").

alternatively, stoner reader who had seeds on them before they fell.

metalhead reader (specifically eddie munson-style...so thrasher obsessed with dnd).

crackfic idea: introducing the dwarves to diggy hole (lmao)

reader, who's obsessed with stories, tells the company a different story from their home world each night (like a story about a young viking managing to train the most ferocious dragon (how to train your dragon)). later, reader ends up retelling snow white and the seven dwarves.

some sort of bl2 x hobbit crossover (reader's a siren but not from the borderlands universe, and in this case their magic is more like pony magic from mlp friendship is magic or bonnies magic from vampire diaries). they dont get any markings or anything until they "leech" the gold sickness from thorin (which, in turn, affects the reader by making their powers more awesome). obvs there's some limitations (they lose the ability to fully control their limbs and are pretty much wheelchair-bound for a few months). reader is pretty much a demigod (probably just as powerful if not maybe a little less powerful than gandalf).

reader fell into middle earth a couple thousand years ago but due to some weird aging thing and middle earth time working differently than modern earth time they age differently. they've become some minor witch or wizard.

reader "scent marks/chins" to show love (like a rabbit)

reader whos part of modern royalty from our world (and enjoys middle earth more than anything bc they don't have to be "propper" all the time, maybe their more of a princess diana royal)

speaking of princess diana: reader gushes over princess diana

post botfa: fem!reader flirts with dis (lol)

reader pretends to by psychic (like in psych) but in reality they've read every book part of the lotr/hobbit universe and know everything (maybe they understand some of their languages as well, not enough to be fluent but enough to pick out certain words)

reader grew up DEEP in the mountains of west virginia (and likes to sing country roads at random points, though they change some of the lyrics bc they don't have the crayons nor willpower to explain a radio)

reader knows "big bad john" and "the cajun queen" by jimmy dean by heart

reader quietly singing jolene after the events of mirkwood

reader lives life by the kenny rogers song "the gambler"

most of the songs the reader knows are either by dolly parton or kenny rogers (or any other artist similar like reba)

reader casually talks about the horrors of our world like its the most normal thing (ww2, systematic racism, the truth of thanksgiving, climate change, 2020, the patriarchy and how they treat women, etc)...everyone looks horrified

reader writes hozier-style songs

reader is the biggest fucking flirt (but by that, i mean they'll flirt with trees...not just ents, no, trees...and rocks)

reader, a seemingly innocent-looking woman, was a deathmetal vocalist in our world

reader has a thing for watching blacksmiths and metalsmiths (i used to like watching forged in fire until i realized they were a bunch of sexists)

reader has the deepest southern accent-

reader is a little insecure only to find out that everything society deems gross and unsightly in our world is hella attractive to dwarves (body hair, extra weight, etc)

reader has abandonment issues and is terrified the company or fellowship are gonna abandon them at any point

reader introduces the company/fellowship to truth or dare, reader get's dared to tell the group their biggest secret, they pull out their childhood stuffed animal from their bag and introduce the group to said stuffed animal. reader thinks the group will laugh at them. the fellowship finds it endearing. the company also finds it endearing (esp dori, bifur, and bofur).

reader goes on a tangent about frontal lobes for a solid 15 minutes straight with no stopping bc of that one hyperfixation they had a few years back.

reader with chronic pain. they never talk about it but something goes wrong, reader and (we'll say dwalin) switch bodies. the pain is so bad dwalin is keeling over and after they get switched back everyone has a little more respect for reader than before. ("what do you mean tHIS IS NORMAL EVERYDAY PAIN? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS FLARES UP AND GETS WORSE??? THIS ISNT EVEN THE WORST OF IT???" reader shrugs "eh u get used to it after living with it for ur entire life")

reader doesn't like wearing shoes, but has feet as strong as a hobbits so its fine

everyone's explaining what folktale they tell children in different cultures when asked where babies come from. the dwarves talk about being born of rocks, hobbits talk about being born in gardens, the human reader tells the story of the stork

idk i kinda wanna mix some of these together

[navyphillips]

-- capping at 3 (3/3) CAPPED!

please see this list before replying; thank you!

Navy had always had a bit of an eye when it came to creating dishes in the kitchen. While it had taken her most of her adult life to feel confident, one of her favorite things to do now was to host people and cook for them. Italian seemed to be her specialty - Risotto and Tiramisu being her favorites to indulge in personally - but she was never too good to learn new dishes; which is precisely why when her parents gifted her cooking classes for Christmas, she'd used the opportunity to dabble in a cuisine she should've been a natural to someone who was a Louisiana native; Cajun dishes. Her apron was tied around her neck, later secured around her waist and she'd already gone to the bathroom three times to secure her hair in a tight bun before ultimately deciding a hair net was the way to go, only making her way back to her station a moment later, exhaling as she was suddenly feeling extremely nervous. Not a feeling Navy was particularly used to. The instructor began to give instructions, instructing them in the first few steps to make their first dish Jambalaya. Navy's eyes averted to her partner at her station, offering them a small smile. "Seems like there's almost more utensils here than we need." she admitted. "Do you think anyone else is confused or do you think it's just me?" @newbellevouxstarters

[generic-whumperz]

Benny (Character Sheet)

*Updated 12/22/2024

(Picrew)

Playlist | Moodboards | Masterlist | Character Info | Lexicon

Overview: In a post-apocalyptic world where an outbreak of debated origin has transformed people into flesh-eating monsters, Benny, a fisherman from Cajun-country Southern Louisiana, is just an ordinary man trying to support his family during difficult times. But his fate is forever changed after he catches the attention of Arcadian Baron Xavier LeBlanc after winning a brutal fight against a horde of afflicted in the fighting pits. His victory leads to an offered position as one of Xavier's concubines, but he soon discovers that this position involves more than just hedonistic sex parties. Benny discovers Xavier's corruption and nefarious activities, including the Baron's connection to the mysterious disappearances of several local women. Outraged, Benny decides to take matters into his own hands. After risking it all and exposing Xavier's wrongdoings to the town, the ensuing revolt claims the lives of Arcadian envoys and vassals alike. Xavier, fed up with Benny’s insolence, retaliates by sentencing Benny to a life of slavery and selling him to a buyer on the West Coast.

Full name: Benôit Onésiphore Boudreaux (Benny)

Role: Second lead protagonist (Whumpee)

Date of Birth & sign: February 10, 2005 (27), Aquarius (story takes place in the year 2032)

Gender: cis-male

Sexuality: bi (and DTF)

Height: 6'

Weight/body type/build: working man's build—very fit and muscular. Unfairly ripped, is good googly moogly ridiculous. (How does it feel to be creator's favorite?)  

Hometown: Atchafalaya, Toussaint Parish, Louisiana (re-used name, fictional place in the southern boot of LA area)

Fav genre of music & anthem: blues rock; Born On The Bayou by: CCR

Family Members: Oldest child and only son. Both parents deceased. Younger sisters in order from oldest to youngest: Genevieve, Sabine, Estelle, Cordelia. Adopted children whose families died after the outbreak. Father & big brother figure 2-in-1. (All surviving Boudreaux family members + adopted kids are in the infographic below.) Family over everything mentality. Provider.

Surviving family tree:

Left/right handed: left

Occupation: fisherman, helps run family-owned bait & tackle shop

Ethnicity (+ American): Indigenous (predominantly  Choctaw), Cajun/Creole (mixed colonial French, Native American, and Haitian ancestry). Appearance-wise, looks unmistakably Native. 

Hair color & length: long, straight, thick black hair, hits mid-back. Usually tied in a low pony, braided, or thrown up in a messy bun. Facial hair: none to be had. Has little to no body hair and looks like a smooth baby dolphin. Has never used a razor in his life, plucks random hairs as they surface.

Hygiene: smells like swamp water and fishing boat gunk 90% of the time. Bathes daily and spends a lot of time taming his mane and doing hair masks. Decently hygienic (having four sisters), but isn't afraid to get dirty and wrestle in some mud.   

Eye color: russet brown. Deep-set, thin, almond-shaped eyes. Has "sly eyes."  

Skin tone: light brown, golden tan with warm undertones.

Facial features: oblong head with high cheekbones. Wide, full lips with heavy upper lip. Hooked nose. Flat, thick eyebrows. Round, slightly pointed ears (no, not like an elf) with free lobes.  

Mannerisms: very animated and talks with his hands, uses a lot of body language. Hums, whistles, and sings songs at random.   

Nervous ticks: shifts and wiggles around more. Rocks in a chair if sitting. Paces. Runs fingers through hair, plays with hair. Flexes hands and toes. Shrugs, rolls shoulders. Cracks neck and fingers, rolls head in a circle or a back/forth motion. Blinks a lot and shakes head. Bounces knee. Talks more and rambles, may repeat a question reworked in different ways, *disbelief*. Uses inappropriate humor to cope. Grimaces. Stretches, may start dancing/tapping feet. Drums fingers.

Posture: relaxed and casual. Slumps back in seat or leans forward, elbows on knees. Has an unfortunate tendency to manspread.

Style: "It fits? I gets." Nearly everything is stained and a hand-me-down. Usually in smelly fishing gear. When not, in a white tank or T-shirt with sleeves cut off, old ripped jeans, tattered old boots, or no shoes at all. All shorts are old jeans he cut (jorts go hard). Tribal print and lumberjack flannels, buttoned jackets, Carhart vests, old sweatshirts, wrinkled and faded T-shirts, beaded jewelry, and custom jackets made by his fashionista sister, Estelle. 

Health: initially very healthy with no conditions or allergies

Piercings/tattoos: piercings—2 holes (lobe and upper lobe), tragus on both ears and a Prince Albert (🍆). Tattoos (so many, all B&W): strand of 5 traditional-style flowers on upper chest, just below collar bones. Barbed wire in the shape of a heart on the left peck over the heart with a small cherub pulling back bow as if about to shoot an arrow at it on the right shoulder. Traditional Choctaw tribal pattern strip encircling right bicep. Beaded armband with two feathers tied in the middle—starts on upper-mid left arm and stops about 4" short from elbow. Mermaid with shell crown on top left forearm. Optical illusion crocodile swimming half-in, half-out of water on top of right arm. Optical illusion fishing hook stuck in skin on outer left wrist. Tomahawk with peace pipe end on left side over ribs. Scorpion around belly button, crawling down towards below waistline. Sun and moon kissing surrounded by clouds on mid left thigh. Shrimp above outer left ankle. (Tat sheet & references below.) 

Birthmarks/scars: scar across left cheek. "X" slave branding scar on right hand.  

Tattoo Placement Sheet (+ Scars):

Tattoo reference pics from Pinterest:

(sorry, yeah he has Pinterest tats, I’m not a professional)

Language(s): English, Cajun French, standard French, Chahta Anumpa (Choctaw language), American Sign Language

Personality: extroverted, adaptable, friendly and charismatic, good-natured, energetic, sincere, outspoken, optimistic, excitable, loyal, motivated, facetious, compassionate, quick-witted, patient, confident, genuine (never pretends to be someone he isn't), but can be a schmoozer

Vices:  weed, moonshine/hooch, casual sex, drunk fishing.

Voice: loud. Rich Cajun twang, smooth and silky despite the volume at which he speaks.

Smells like: when dirty—swamp, mildew, and fish. When clean—earthy scent with aquatic undertones: Spanish moss, evergreen and Cyprus, soliflore gardenia, and blue gum eucalyptus.    

Face claim(s): (young) Eddie Spears (top row), Michael Hudson (bottom row, big shoutout to @3-2-whump for finding Michael!)

Character inspiration: nothing in particular; I just thought I was missing something, and thus, Benny was born and slowly revealed himself to me in parts. I knew I needed a wild swamp man.

Other: has wrestled alligators and isn't afraid of shit besides catfish (his mortal enemy). Harmonica champion. Consumes ungodly amounts of shrimp. 

 

Character sheet filled out from his POV

[abbeypotter]

streamer dr *script reveal*

hi i'm back again to yap about my streamer dr!! i'm going to walk you guys through as much as i'm comfy sharing about this dr! so i'm just myself in this dr, i look the exact same except i have clear skin and all that stuff. and my name is the same as it is in my cr.

so instead of shifting to present day, i'm shifting to 2022 at the beginning of october because thats like my favorite month.

in my dr i'm gonna be fluent in english, spanish, and cajun/louisiana french. english and french being native languages and i taught myself spanish later on. my french accent will be a mix of a cajun and a regular french accent because most of the french i was exposed to was from youtube and tv. my spanish accent is a mix of argentina and mexican accents.

[in my cr i dont speak french. i am cajun but no one in my family speaks french as cajun french is a dying language, which is why in most of my drs i script i can speak it.]

i haven't really decide where i'm gonna live in my dr. i was originally gonna script brighton because that's where all my friends in that dr live (like tommy and jack) but i might just live in another country (likely spain or belgium) that i really wanna live and script a friend as a roommate. but i scripted that i only recently moved to wherever i live from new orleans.

{edit: i decide to live in belgium bc my dr roommate speaks french and not spanish}

and also i recently decided to double my streamer dr as a band/fame dr because that's fun so i'm the lead vocalist and keyboardist of an indie band. the members of the band are just people from my cr. (i did in fact script that i'm a good singer and i know how to write music and all that stuff)

im friends with tommy, jack manifiold, nihachu, quackity, slimecicle, schlatt, tubbo, billzo, aimsey, etc.

cool scenarios that i imagine (not specifically scripted but for visualization):

making the british/non-americans try american snacks

making my friends try cajun food on stream (ft. me "over seasoning" everything bc you can never have too much seasoning)

quackity telling people to say something *awful* in spanish and me understanding and bursting into laughter (they don't know i know spanish)

during a minecraft talent show i sing one of my bands songs but change all the lyrics to be hilarious (like a parody of my own song)

being forced to speak only french or spanish on stream with people that dont speak french or spanish

if you guys have any questions please ask i'd love to talk more about my drs!

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Triptolemus (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- God of Crops by the people of Olympius

Honey by his wife

Dad by his son

Trip by his brother & friends

Age- 37 (immortal)

Location- Achaea, Olympius

Personality- He's a dedicated hardworker with a general laidback temperament. He holds family, community, and wellness of the land to the utmost of importance. Despite being a grudge holder, he doesn't see the need for unnecessary drama in his life, opting for simplicity. He's married.

He has the standard abilities of a god except shapeshifting. As the god of farming his other powers/abilities include transfiguration (can turn beings into a plant, tree, or crop), being able to use ancient/modern farming and gardening tools proficiently as weapons, soil manipulation (edafoskinesis), as well as chlorokinesis (to a much lesser extent than Demeter).

A notable physical feature is his golden brown tan skin, due to him always being outdoors.

His natural scent is a mixture of fresh damp soil and sweet corn.

Triptolemus is a native of Eleusis. Mostly bad feelings and memories come up whenever he thinks about his homeland; never mind the constant death he was surrounded by in his early godhood.

He's married to Eunostos (goddess of the flour mill). They have a child- a son Deipneus (god of cooking & breadmaking). Other members of Triptolemus' extended family includes his younger brother Trochilus (god of the mill wheel), his father-in-law Cyamites (god of beans), his sister-in-law Promylaia, as well as his nephews Matton (god of meals) and Keraon (god of baking & wine mixing).

He lives on a thirty acre farm property with his wife in a french country style home. The house has natural wood flooring, a wraparound porch, antique furniture (like armoirs), wood beamed ceilings, simple yet elegant chandeliers, & nude and cream colored toile patterned wallpaper. On the same farm just a few minutes away, there's the house his brother and wife live in.

Triptolemus is a HUGE animal lover. On the farm there's cattle, sheep, goats, pigs, ducks, chickens, & horses. There are a few employees on the farm (like a leimonide named Maris), but he and his brother don't mind actively participating in the responsibilities of the farm like trimming the horses' hooves, bringing in/tagging the many crops, administering vaccines to the animals, or operating farming equipment.

He usually starts his day at the crack of dawn. Following a session of meditation, Triptolemus will ride through the farm on his horse- a quarter horse named Moxie then take a swim in the private pond. He'll then tend to his garden before breakfast.

Displayed in the living room is a farming pitchfork forged from adamantine by Hephaestus (god of the forge). It's taken the place of Triptolemus' former divine symbol.

He loves eating a steaming plate of gyeran bap for breakfast. He also really likes when his wife makes buttermilk biscuits alongside her cajun breakfast casserole (made with scrambled eggs, sliced andouille sausages, shredded hash browns, hot sauce, heavy cream, red peppers, various spices, & shredded cheddar cheese. He'll also enjoy a big bowl of Earthly Harvest cinnamon oat hearty nut medley cereal (which is cinnamon coated flakes, almonds, pumpkin seeds, pecans, and walnuts).

A go-to drink for him is bori-cha (barley tea) which he brews himself. He also likes his brother's homemade banana milk & sujeonggwa, mineral water, orange juice, his wife's homemade iced tea, beer, white wine, sparkling lemon cocktails, ginger ale, lemonade, mint juleps, good farmer cocktails, celery tonics, as well as hard cider cocktails. His usuals from The Roasted Bean include a cafe au lait and an olympian sized green tea.

There's a couple of secrets Triptolemus has kept close to him, only divulging in it with trusted beings in his social circle. In his early days of godhood, he was under the brief mentorship of Demeter (goddess of the harvest & agriculture). It's not a known fact in the pantheon or the public. His brother Trochilus was establishing his godhood in Corinth.

In the early days of the Titanomachy, Eleusis was the most fertile place in the entire country. Triptolemus and Demeter would be responsible for feeding many beings that were displaced due to the war. Every time the tax was raised, he would hand deliver a basket of crops to the needy and hungry families.

Triptolemus' earliest accomplishment in his godly career was when Demeter gifted him an Imperial Gold wheeled chariot, which was pulled by two majestic looking winged serpents. He traveled all throughout the country, feeding the hungry. Triptolemus was seen as a folk hero- first in Eleusis, then in Athens.

He had a quiet adversion to overseeing the Eleusinian Mysteries, being that he was never comfortable around suffering & death. He then spoke out against Demeter regarding her treatment of Celeus, the lord of Eleusis at the time as well as his family- particularly his son Demophon. Seemingly without warning, his chariot was revoked and Triptolemus has his mentorship transferred to Eubouleus (god of the swine & ploughing).

Even though he wasn't active in the war on the battlefield, Triptolemus supported Zeus (god of the sky, thunder, & lightning) and the rest of the Olympians.

After the war, he spent some time in Athens & reunited with his brother before settling in Achaea.

Triptolemus had no say in the matter when Demeter came back into his life by way of her newfound friendship with Eunostos and Promylaia. The family even relocated back to Eleusis while their sons were still little. At this point, he didn't tell anyone about his early godhood. Triptolemus always maintained a friendly disposition whenever Demeter came around and was surprised when his son & nephews developed a friendship with her daughter Persephone. When his wife and sister-in-law eventually had a falling out with Demeter, Triptolemus wasn't terribly surprised. When the family relocated back to Achaea, he finally revealed his past with the harvest goddess.

Despite his status as a minor deity, Triptolemus has two temples built in his honor- one in his native Eleusis and one in Athens.

He leads an active lifestyle through tai chi, riding horseback, jogging, working out, & even bullriding!

Triptolemus loves his younger brother and appreciates how protective they are for one another. Though their experiences in godhood was drastically different, they understand each other in a way that most can't, aside from their wives. They have a good working relationship as well, being that they're business partners.

He has a sandwhich inspired by him at his son's nationwide business The Bread Box. The farmer sandwhich is a toasted baguette with roasted chicken, sweet corn, melted brie cheese, tapenade, a thyme mayo spread, and romaine lettuce.

Triptolemus adores Eunostos. He finds his wife's supple soft skin & natural scent of flour and powdered sugar to be addictive. He also admires how she held her head high after the fallout Demeter. They enjoy spending time outside of their shared business- like taking a weekend trip to Athens to visit her father, traveling to New Olympus to see their son, or going on double dates with Trochilus and Promylaia.

He's heard whispers that the chariot (claimed by Demeter) was thrown into Tartarus following the end of the war, but he can't be too sure.

Triptolemus has a good relationship with his son and is proud of all of his accomplishments as a deity. He wishes that Deipneus would call him more often, but is understanding of his busy schedule. When he and his wife travel to New Olympus, Triptolemus (along with his brother) will play basketball at Eaglepoint Park with Deipneus, Keraon, and Matton.

Whenever he and Eunostos travels to New Olympus they'll either stay over at their son's brownstone in a guest room or they'll rent a room at The Hearthwood Inn.

His primary source of income comes from the business he co-owns alongside his brother, sister-in-law, & wife. The Achaean Flour Company is one of the largest manufacturers and distributors of flour & flour products. On his own Triptolemus is the head of the Farming Union of Olympius, an organization that works to improve the quality of life and economic well-being of family farmers, ranchers, and rural communities. He also owns a small farmer's market in the town's square, known to give away products for free sometimes!

In the pantheon Triptolemus is known for his finger licking yangnyeom chicken, fried chicken covered in a sweet & spicy sauce and garnished with sesame seeds.

His favorite sweet treats includes his wife's beignets, his brother's bingsu (sweet shaved ice), and his own baesuk and yaksik (sweet rice cakes added with nuts, dried fruit, & honey).

In the pantheon Triptolemus is good friends with Ktesios (god of the household), Karmanor (demi-god of the harvest), Priapus (god of fertility, vegetable gardens, livestock, sexuality, & masculinity), Apólafsi (god of enjoyment), Kópros (god of manure & excrement), Corymbus (Cory) (god of the ivy), Záchari (god of confectionery), Pan (god of the wild, satyrs, shepherds, & rustic music), and Hestia (goddess of the hearth).

Aside from Demeter, he also dislikes Limos (goddess of starvation & famine).

Triptolemus thinks that his son's girlfriend Pandaisia (goddess of banquets) is a sweetheart.

His favorite frozen treat is pear ice cream.

When he and Trochilus travels back to New Olympus soon, they plan on finally tackling the culinary behemoth known as the Mt. Olympus burger at Poté Tróei, the restaurant owned by Adephagia (goddess of gluttony).

For fun, Triptolemus hosts a gardening club every week, open to anyone. The members generally "meet" online on Fatestagram by use of video group chat, with an in-person meeting at his greenhouse. Maris is one of the members.

He likes the jars of sweet onion salsa Priapus brings for him.

His favorite thing to get at Hollyhock's Bakery is the jumbo pancake cookie (topped with a buttermilk syrup glaze & a dollop of vanilla buttercream).

Triptolemus, Eunostos, Trochilus, and Promylaia always participates in the annual Achaean Beignet Festival.

Another trip he's planning is to Crete to see Karmanor compete in a bullriding competition.

His favorite meal is his wife's spicy sausage penne along with yangnyeom chicken, topping it off with a cold glass of hard apple cider.

In his free time Triptolemus enjoys gardening, cooking, baking, bike riding, swimming, basketball, sunbathing, golf, football (soccer), and sailing.

"The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer."

[themidnightgoosepal]

Hazbin Headcanons ( mostly Alastor and Niffty) but there's some Husk

Alastor is mixed Creole(that's canon) but specifically his mama is a black Haitian immigrant and his daddy is a white cajun

He has reddish brown hair and lots of freckles

He's tan but ultimately pretty racially ambiguous

His daddy is called Isaac or Isaiah or something(Isaac specifically means to smile or to laugh which could have some interesting implications)

He's actually a bastard because his mama was a nun when she got pregnant with him(maybe not by choice) and she had to flee the convent to america

He used to play dress up with her old habit (nunalastor explanation)

He just has the nun outfit on hand, cause it was actually his mama's

His father is technically not his bio dad. That's probably some unnamed missionary prior the United States occupying Haiti who took advantage of one of the first natives conforming to the church

His mom's name is Mallory because it means faithful/loyal and it fits her as a god-fearing woman but also it can mean unlucky (her life is truly a tragedy)

He's a natural magic user, a witch, he has the gift

His mother went to the church as a way to conform to the oppressive customs of Hispaniola and to get away from her abusive mother but when his powers get stronger, she takes him back to Haiti to see his grandmother, who's like a religious matriarch, like a Mambo

I want to clarify the reason Mallory left was because her mother was a powerful member of the community and she wouldn't have been able to flee her influence unless she entirely left her community

Mallory never wanted to get him involved with his grandmother. She thought she knew enough to teach him about his roots and the religion she grew up in

Because at the end of the day she does still believe in those practices as much as the Christian god

Even if her own mother hurt her in the name of them

The church is oppressive af that far south, though, so they would also have to attend church to avoid suspicion in their community, especially if his daddy is white

she didn't have time and by the time she taught him everything she knew it had gotten far out of hand. She never had this kind of gift and she didn't know what to do

So she goes back to her mother that even though she swore she had left that life behind

Really, she knew this would happen the minute she named her son alastor. That's what Mallory's mother told her to name her child when she was young

"if you eva bear a child, Mallory, may he be an avenger of mine and torment you, chile. Like ya do ta me. Name him Alastor." " Call your child avenger if you want to take charge of your life and fight back for once"

When he harnesses his gifts somewhat and they go back to LO she comes with. A shack just mysteriously pops up in the woods one day way to quick for her to have built it and she just sets up shop

Her name is Abbadon Monet

I think she had a big hand in the Haitian Revolution but like in the background. She would deliver messages through her congregations for revolutionaries or something

And she teaches Alastor all about that side of his heritage, breaking chains, and not bowing down to no man

It would really resonate with a boy that has been beat and brutalized and ostracized all his life by his father, bigger children, white people, people who didn't approve of his parents, people who put him down

And then she teaches him ways to use his magic to fight back. To curse instead of bless and to use the shadow that hangs over his shoulders as a weapon

His mother keeps her maiden name Mallory Monet

She teaches him how to sew and cook. She watches other people's children for money and sings in the church choir even though all she ever really wanted was to take her son and sing in a traveling theatre

Monet is french for to hear or to be heard. Perfect for a lineage of priests, prophets, messengers, and musicians

Alastor's name means tormenter/avenger, if you didn't get that already

So his full name translation is " Avenger that is meant to be heard"

Perfect for a guy with a strong sense of justice that knows he has been persecuted for only the crime of existing

His Grandma definitely picked that name being a revolutionary.

I think Abbadon is a creature of envy. She was likely born a slave and had to fight for every bit of magic and history and knowledge she could

She would be the one to teach Alastor that every bit of gossip, every tidbit of knowledge makes you that much more aware and in control and powerful

Knowledge is power after all, but its also how you stay safe

But she is cruel. Not unlike his father is cruel. His father beats him. She burns him. His father cuts him with axes and knives. She sews his fingers, lips, feet together. It's different cultures with different methods of punishment and yet for both they dole it out for the most minor offense

But he still will sneak out in cover of dark to meet her, because she at least teaches him things and doesn't drink the day away, just smokes Cannabis and sips funny tea from time to time

His grandmother and father hate each other for perceived misanthropy but they are hypocrite

They all speak french creole at home

Husk's full real birth name is Hammarabi Husker

Hammurabi is an old king from the bible

His parents probably were corn farmers hence the name "Husker"

But his first name was the christian name the orphanage gave him

He was born in rural Nevada but got put up for adoption in Las Vegas

He grew up on the streets of a major city in America the melding pot

He's a polyglot (which is pretty much canon)

He's a hustler, a master pickpocket, and a magicians assistant at a casino. Best rogue in the buisness

Sleight of hand is +10

But he gets bored and trains are at the height of production right now(1900-1910s)

So he starts hopping on trains and traveling the country

He's a dark skinned black boy and he has vitiligo( like his white spots as a cat demon)

Also, at least as an adult, Husk is husky

Like he is chubby. He has weight to throw around for real. He was a soldier. He's a big strong boy

He's got a big appetite and nobody is gonna feed him, so he's gonna travel the country to see if there's something for him in the world

I think he has pretty green eyes

He has wings because he was a kamikazee pilot in both world wars, plus probably Korea and Vietnam

Alastor probably fought with him in The Great War

His skills with radio would make sense if he worked in the military

And if he and husk were war heroes, that would make it much easier for him to get a job as a colored man

I think he was a radio host (which he's wanted to be since he learned about radios) I just think he was also a soldier first

Husk meets Alastor going down to New Orleans for Mardis Gras

Alastor is trying to absorb everything he can about magic and sees a kid maybe his age while he's out running errands for his parents, who is saying he's the greatest magician to have ever lived

Hammurabi has been doing great in New Orleans. He's getting so much money he hardly knows what to do with it

Then, when he's trying to win even more in a game of poker, some redhead kid with glasses comes up to him and starts asking him about magic. Just like imagine his surprise when the weird kid with the thick Haitian accent wins the pot and forces him to " teach him some magic"

And then when 5 minutes into teaching this kid a card trick he says "no, real magic" and Husk says "what do you mean?"

And then his shadow peels off the wall behind him and walks to stand next to this kid and wave. All while alastor stands completely still

And Hammurabi screams and stumbles back on his ass and says "are you a witch!? You have to teach me to do that, I could get so much money"

And alastor says" I can't teach you that. Mwen lonbraj is a unique part of me. But you can come to my house for dinner if you want and I can show you different spells"

They are like bffs

The Magician and The Witch

Mallory is like his mother figure that he never had

But Abbadon scares the everliving shit out of him with her magic. Hes used to classic Houdini type magic tricks

Not genuine powerful hoodoo

Alastor is creepy enough and he's trying to be nice and polite most of the time. Abaddon isn't

He never really meets Al's dad but he hates him

He sees all the injuries on Mal and Al and he hears the stories

Husk and Alastor both have a strong moral compass and get into a lot of fights. Because they don't let it slide when someone talks down to them

Which is dangerous for two colored boys in the Jim Crow era

They get into lots of trouble for sure

He also meets a bunch of other orphans and runaways traveling around the country

They're very Peter Pan and the Lost Boys

Including having to chase after Lonbraj, alastor's shadow

Niffty is tinkerbell

One lost boy, or rather girl, Titania, is trans. Also Husk is trans

Husk knows alastor is a witch

And he takes Titania to meet him and one of alastor's first big ritual spells is that he switches the bio sex

So he transes their genders, like a true ally

The three of them are incredibly close and all of them trust each other more than anyone else they've all had very difficult lives

Titania is actually a Japanese immigrant that ran away from her family after being sexually abused

And Alastor also has a long history of abuse of various kinds

So he and Titania decide to "try it out" to see if it's better when you actually want to do it

And it's fine. Neither really cares for it in the end and they go their separate ways

But she actually is pregnant! And the baby? Is NIFFTY

When Titania realizes she's pregnant she goes to Abbadon, Alastor's grandma

And with her hoodoo magic she looks out over the swamp and for a moment the fireflies seem to spell out a name: NYMPHADORA

And that was the baby's name

That's right her full name is Nymphadora meaning pretty woman

It's just niffty for short

Also she is definitely a firefly demon

Everyone in the hotel thinks she carries around, like, a little backpack full of cleaning supplies

And then one day she opens them up and reveals they were 4 pretty beetle wings all along

And everyone is like why didn't you catch yourself during the trustfall.

1. She likes pain 2. She wanted them to feel bad for not catching her

Also we don't actually see when she jumps off that building after vaggie throws everyone. I think she just glides down

Her top two wings are hard black shell with some yellow stripes around the edge. And her bottom two are beautiful gossamer insectoid with a warm color tint to match the rest of her

Think how she would look backlit

Also the top two black wings probably kinda look like alastor's shadow tendrils

So the image is a nice nod to her daddy

Also I think she should have cute little bug antennae that match alastor's little antlers

I think she has a natural magic gift too, since alastor does and he's her dad

But while Alastor is shadows and plants, she is pure fire magic

I think a part of that is that as a demon she's cursed to burn up every plant she touches(which is taken from a popular head canon that alastor wilts plants he touches, but I think that's dumb)

(His whole thing is that he creates a plant filled biome. His magic definitely lends itself to plant care)

And one day someone gives her flowers and she burns them up and then runs away, crying "WHY DO I DESTROY EVERYTHING I TOUCH!?!?"

But alastor finds her and sits her down and tells her how, even though she makes messes sometimes, she cleans up way more

And that those flowers were dead the moment they were cut anyway but at least she gave them a proper spectacular sendoff in a big ball of flames instead of leaving them to slowly wilt and rot away

And that her fiery personality and spark of creativity are the most charming part of her

And then he makes a bunch of flower puns until she's smiling again

Fireflies have a marking on their head that looks just like niffty's cyclops eye. I think her little blush marks aren't actually blush, but the fireflies 2 other eyes, like how angel's freckles are actually eyes

And she has two extra arms for twice as much cleaning power

And because beetles/insects have 6 limbs(excluding wings)

But she doesn't retract them like angel she pulls them into her sleeves and hugs herself. And then when she needs them she takes them out

Even though she has two arms on each side, they're so skinny both can fit through just one sleeve

Her belly glows like a firefly too

Titania honestly wasn't ready to raise her, though

I think Abaddon actually magically changed her into a firefly in a jar instead of letting this young girl go through the full horrors of pregnancy, much less birth

And by the time Alastor finds out she was ever with child in the first place, probably after he and husk had already left to fight in the war, it's already been years and Titania is gone and Abaddon has disappeared and left him with the shack in the woods

He picks up her magic business on the side, it lets him get to know people from all walks of life, and works at the New Orleans Radio Station as his day job.

And he finds the jar with niffty in it and transforms the firefly it back to a person

But it like violently explodes in a ball of magic fire and burns him and Hammurabi, who was there, and at first they thought it burned the baby (who by the way just pops out full formed, already at like 6 months even though she had never developed that much and also weirdly it had been at least three years since she got jarred)

But actually she just has a reddish birthmark on her forehead (like a cyclops eye)

Husk falls in love immediately. He's been all around but he's never seen someone with a marking that takes up as much of their face as him.

And as soon as he sees her he vows he won't let anyone hurt her like he was because her face looks different

And her hair is an unusually light color for a Japanese kid

But it's the most beautiful brown either of them have ever seen and it glows in the candlelight

And in the sunlight makes it look like a bonfire, like how Al's red hair does sometimes

But hers is even brighter

And her and alastor both have the prettiest brown eyes you've ever seen. But while Al's are a deep ruby red when you gaze into them too long. A fire that's been burning low. The red hot coals under the pot. A comfortable hearth. The sky before a hurricane. The last hearty meal before God's wrath rains down on you

Nymphadora's eyes are bright, such an unbelievably bright amber. They're the lanterns you release on important celebrations. The color of a candlelight vigil. Stars and wonder. Prometheus's gift to humanity. A flame you dance around wildly into the night. And fireflies

They have freckles like ash scattered on their skin

When they're apart, you might not relate one to the other mentally

But when you see them together you know that that is a papa and his bebe

Also Niffty calls him Baba

She kinda has a nasally voice so you can't fully tell if shes saying Mama or papa

And Alastor is very gender nonconforming to me

So no matter who you are you will not be able to picture the parent she's talking about

And then it's alastor and husk

Two large unique looking black men, one of whom is a drunk magician with cards falling out of his pockets every time he stumbles.( He tried to pull out a flask and a dove escapes.)

And the other who is dressed in nice but incredibly worn clothes,including a large burgundy trench coat that has seen better days, and red tinted glasses with wire frames walks with a limp and carries a cane that looks more like a staff used in voodoo rituals. And looks like he just got off a 13 hour shift at the radio station and the bags under his eyes have their own area code, but still won't stop tiredly, manically smiling

juxtaposed against this tiny Japanese kid with bright orange hair and toy fairy wings that will not stop obsessively compulsively cleaning

#Unconventional family

Imagine being her teacher lol

Single parent alastor and drunk uncle husk

Speaking of, I think Alastor killed his dad when he was 13.

In the kitchen with a knife. He actually was planning to kill his father by putting a curse on him. But one night Isaac came home late and Mallory was already in bed, but Alastor was there

He looks just like his mother, even if he is light skinned, even if he has reddish hair instead of her deep brown

Issac went too far that night, he had been going too far for years and Alastor was fed up and desperate

And when his dad was dead he spent all night hiding the body and cleaning the kitchen

Just picture a baby fawn trying to drag a dead body at least twice his size

He told his mom he just never came home

But his grandma knew the truth. Abby was proud of him. And from then on, he started learning much more serious magic at a must faster pace

Including medicine because a couple years later his mom got sick

And when he was 16 he kept next to his mother's bed and watched her pass away

He honestly had a lot on his plate as a kid. It's no wonder he has such a large connection with the shadow. All those emotions he couldn't express built up. He tried to suppress his magic too. It resulted in an explosion.

Maybe in battle. During the war.

He was never a good soldier. He didn't grasp hierarchy well and was horrible at taking orders. But he had some really revolutionary technical skills plus, even with one bad eye, he's a commendable sharpshooter

And he and Hammurabi are quite the duo. The best engineer and pilot duo ever seen

I imagine they accomplished a lot, made changes, won medals, experienced great horrors

I imagine alastor's breaking point then was not long after his first time under siege. He had so much suppressed trauma with his mother's death and his father's abuse and the various forms of discrimination

And he just broke and his shadow who he had always hid behind became a wild beastly shield over the entire trench. And destroyed the opposing fleet

And then he had to use magic to seal the lips of his platoon to keep them from squealing

I understand why he's obsessed with deals if he had such an unpredictable childhood and living a life with so much to hide. He needs contracts with everyone around him so he knows what the expectations are

Because how often was he brutalized for not understanding what was expected of him

He is like a master codeswitcher btw

Also I think he and his mom participated in the church choir

That's right he's a choirboy

He's also a heretic going to church while practicing voodoo

He wears red tinted glasses because it helps to see underwater which is useful for someone who hangs out in a swamp with gators lurking just under the surface

Also if you subscribe to the belief he's colorblind then it's like early colorblind glasses, specifically for red-green colorblindness

He might have been but I think he gets a full color spectrum eventually. Either because he's reborn as a demon with it or he casts a spell on his eyes

Either way it gives new perspective to why he loves red so much if he couldn't see it until fairly recently in his life

After his mom died he gets recruited to the military

But I think his first radio was one he collected or maybe stole from somewhere when he was just a tiny boy and it was broken but he fixed himself and he was so proud

And had to subsequently fix it again over and over everytime his father broke it in a fit of rage, which happened way too many times

But he never stopped enjoying learning about radio, even if it was to fix a grown man's temper

I also think he lived in a shotgun shack in a ghetto

He was surrounded by people at all times and nobody ever tried to save him from the abuse, which probably gave him an exhibitionist complex(given that he broadcasts screams of his victims, though, that's not surprising)

Even though he's ace, he's still pretty kinky. I doubt he realizes it though

I also think that since he's a canon sadist, hes also a masochist. It's two sides of the same coin really

He probably has a long self harm history (he already canonly has trichtolomania). It's all just an attempt to be in control of his own pain though

I feel like his childhood was a horror story. Like, I think the reason he carries a cane is that as a human he has a limp. Possibly from war. But I also think it at least is partially related to abuse

Like he was pushed into a pond on purpose and some gators got his toes #weirdkidlore

It's very human of him to be embarrassed about his feet, just for them to become hooves that he doesn't know how to take care of in death

And I'm sure he has a hard time accessing emotions so he might recreate those extreme situations from before he started internally blocking off and shutting down in an attempt to "feel something again"

A Lot of people with ASPD have substance abuse issues

He has high alcohol tolerance from years of overdrinking

Also he smokes cannabis for sure. He's always smiling, his eyes are red, I think he'd look cool smoking from a pipe

And since this is before the war on drugs, he's probably taken all kinds of other old timey pharmaceuticals too

So like he has experience with some crazy stuff, but mostly he just keeps a packet of those jazz cigarettes in his inside coat pocket in case he has to deal with any of those pesky emotions

Alastor had a fucked up, unimaginably and nightmarishly abusive childhood and he definitely is trying hard to keep Niffty away from that reality. Obviously there is a lot of very real discrimination he has no control over and probably hates himself about.( I think he does try and do something about it but I'll talk about that in a moment)

In comparison, his brother, war buddy, and now coparent who had a neglectful childhood as an orphan, but isn't at a point in his life where he realizes he had a bad childhood because he's hyper independent and thinks that running around the continent unsupervised built his character

They're both traumatized war veterans who have really no idea about raising a child, but one is terrified of fucking up to the point it's overbearing. And the other is borderline neglectful because he doesn't understand kids limits due to his own fucked childhood

Guess who's who (you can't)

So niffty's parents(as far as she knows) are a tired Haitian man that works full time on the radio and probably also a bootlegger and a drunk magician.

Also I don't know if I made it clear but alastor for sure bootlegs mead and wine and various other alcohols from stuff in his garden

She goes to school and then hangs out in illegal speakeasies with her parents or waits at home for them to come back from illegal speakeasies

Her cleaning thing probably comes from her not doing well in school and also being a latchkey kid before latchkey kids considering she has two guardians working fulltime. So she does what she can do to help out around the house.

I think after alastor dies, whoever killed him, tries to burn down "the old witch shack" where they live

She wakes in the night to fire all around. Her dad is out doing magic or work stuff she assumes

But when she escapes to the back garden she sees her baba's mangled body dangling from the tree they used to sit under together and read

He has a hole in his head, but to her, for a moment it looks like a third eye

All she can think is how he doesn't have his cane and he has a hard time walking without his cane. Her baba didn't do this to himself

And after she escapes the arson she finds Hammurabi in a one in a million chance and they leave LO and he goes back to moving cross country doing magician grifts and gambling and drinking way more than alastor ever would allow him before, all while dragging a grieving kid behind him

Magic tricks can't fix your dad dying though

And he does love niffty, but alastor wasn't that great a person so he tells her all the truths about her father as she grows up and he tries to ease her into it but sometimes when he drinks too much he just lets things slip

And niffty learns about how he killed all of these people, people in powerful positions, people who hurt and take advantage of the more vulnerable. He did it to try and change the way things were. All in a misguided attempt to make the world a better place for her

So she's the Halcyon Hammurabi Husker's magical assistant. but after the shows over she has to hang back alone and clean the venue and clean their hotel room and cook her own meals and be in charge of all these things. And then Husk comes home and after he sleeps off his hangover, there's a couple hours that he can teach her some English, science, math, and Japanese and then it's back to the show

Then of course the WW2 happens and he's deployed again, multiple times over the course of his and niffty's life.

And then she's stuck in a singular place, by herself, with only husk's various acquaintances left to check in on her. Waiting for him to return

At least she can go to school again

But of course there are quickly-rising, extreme anti Japanese sentiments. So much so she wonders if this was what it was like for her parents when they were still in the Jim Crow Deep South

And she realizes her Baba could never have protected her from other people's pure hate

I heard somewhere Slavery was like the original sin of the west and we have had many a martyr. But not one who died for those sins

And I propose that martyr is Niffty

THATS RIGHT NIFFTY

IS THE SECOND COMING OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST

I'm kidding but she kind of was a miracle. Like not immaculate conception but immaculate gestation cause she was just a magic bug in a candle jar until alastor said let's see if this magic abortion can still become a baby

I think with the way she probably put her murderer father on a pedestal after he died and the way Husk sort of neglects her its not surprising she gets in with dangerous people

She wants doting and affection that no matter how much she tries to earn by doing acts of service, she will never truly get back now that her father is dead and gone

But she still only has those limited tool sets to offer people. She doesn't know how to do anything else. She can't talk good or do magic of any kind like her parents. All she can do is house chores. But she can also make things, she's found. And she can fix things

Clean things renew things

She can make her own toys and Halloween costumes and food and she can fix husks magician outfit and mend her clothes. And she can make art

Also I think Husk is a very talented artist in his free time he just doesn't talk about it

He has a stockpile of old art and supplies in storage somewhere(although once alastor has his soul, al repossesses it all. It's in the attic of his creepy witch shack in the bayou pocket dimension) along with his other juck he's collected over the years

Alastor is a doodler. He loves cartoons and designing sigils

And I think when niffty has cleaned up all the corners of the house she can think of, she does art

She dates a lot of people very quickly in her teen years. She doesn't have a great sense of danger and she's unsupervised for the most part.

She probably also gets a lot of jobs that she does okay in but has a hard time keeping, for various reasons

She meets one guy after all of her attempts that seems just so loyal. He's always so grateful for her housekeeping skills and he seems like he would never leave her. He even asks her to marry! And of course she says yes. Husk is never really around. He's been different since he's come home from the war. He doesn't even do his magician's act lately. Since they legalized alcohol again all he does is lay around drinking while she rushed to clean up around him. But he doesn't even praise her. He barely acknowledges her. She's saved up a lot from all her jobs that she's been hiding under her floorboards to keep husk from gambling it away

So they elope. And they get their own house and they start a new life. But her husband changes after they're married. He gets meaner, he expects more, he cares less

Where she used to have time for herself to enjoy her interests, now he gets just so mad if she's not cooking or cleaning or not doing anything for them and their life( read: him and his comfort)

She used to be able to have her hobbies. Her favorite thing in the world is puppets. She loves to make them(she uses the sewing and voodoo doll making skills alastor taught her) and write fun scripts for them and put shows on for the kids at the local library and the farmer's market It was the only place she felt she belonged. She could be different people, focus on something outside of herself. But also writing down and acting out her problems helps her process her emotions

That's her last straw. Her puppets. When he gets meaner and meaner and more violent, she understands, even those few times, when he actually hit her while he had a little too much. She knew it was because she wasn't doing enough

But then he goes to far. He has some miniscule complaints about her cooking and how the bathroom wasn't clean enough and how she didn't make their bed right. She's just been saying she'll do better next time. But he's getting angrier and angrier and she's sure he will absolutely rip her a new one but then he storms off. And she thinks he's gone to bed so she takes out her puppet projects and lines them up and gets ready to practice her new play. Hopefully then she'll feel better

But out of nowhere he comes behind her and rips the puppet out of her hands when she was fixing Mr. Desmond's tiny hat shouting how she cares more about these puppets than her own husband and then he RIPS OFF HER PUPPETS HEAD and tosses it at her, hitting her in the face.

And even though she could always sew it back she realizes she does care more about her puppets than him. So, while he's still shouting, she takes out the longest needle she has and slowly stands and very calmly sticks it into his neck until he stops talking and instead starts choking

He pushes her to the ground and runs outside presumably to a phone booth

And then the police show up and not long after she is in a white building that she will not leave for a long time

The doctors all say that there's something wrong with her. She tries a lot of drugs and talks to a lot of people about things she's never even really considered before, like her baba and her husband.

She sees husk for the first time in years but only once. She cries and screams in his face that he never loved her and get her out of here she doesn't want to hurt people but he just leaves. He doesn't come back for a long time

One day they tell her that since nothing is working and she's not better yet they're going to try something new.

They strap her to a chair and give her more pills and injections and the put a mask over her face and it all makes her very tired. So she goes to sleep

But when she wakes up, in the same spot there's a bunch of doctors and nurses very close to her and she feels a poke under her eye. And she panics

She thrashes and moves and cries for her baba and the poke becomes a burn becomes a pop becomes a gush but she doesn't stop trying to escape. The doctors are trying to hold her down now. They're trying to put the mask on her and poke needles in her arms. It feels like an eternity of struggle but then the dual sensations of not being able to breathe and feeling her brain leaking out of her face becomes too much and the world goes black

And she wakes up in bed

She doesn't ever feel the same after that. She feels like they stole her brain. Like they scooped it right out

The next time she sees husk is weeks after they tell her she's better fixed. She never felt like there was anything even wrong

But Husk takes her home. A different one than she remembers. He says he has to leave her alone again and that he's sorry but he'll be back soon

She's not so good at time anymore. It feels like it's been a long time. She's been alone a long time

Then she sees her husband in her and Uncle Hamby's home. Shes not sure he's real but he takes her with him. She doesn't really want to go. But he says he has all of her puppets and clothes and toys if she just goes with him. So she does

And he does. And they're happy again. For a bit. She cleans and plays and does things her way and he doesn't complain. But he's started a new game. It's called pictures

She does whatever she wants, keeps things tidy her way and makes strange concoctions in the kitchen that her husband tries every time, even when he doesn't want to, plays puppets

And then at night he takes pictures of her with no clothes. He doesn't touch her unless to punish her for not being very very still for the camera. Or to reposition her. But at least he leaves her alone the rest of the time. He's not even home except at night.

One day she runs out of some cleaning supply or cooking ingredient and goes out with the money she gets from her husband(for his pictures) and she sees her husband across the street through the window of a diner with another woman

She goes in and sits at the booth next to them. They don't notice her

She hears the other woman say how much money they're making with this new business. They could be the next playboy her husband says. All these girls are so dumb they don't even know how much they cost.

She goes home and thinks. She thinks how her husband doesn't ever take her out or even do anything with her. She has her own room now and he doesn't stay with her except to take pictures. How did she never realize how strange that was before?

She doesn't love him. He doesn't love her. She's being used for money. For her body, and not even in a fun way

She waits for her husband to get home. He takes his pictures, like every night. And goes to bed, in his own separate room.

She locks all the doors takes out a container of gas and pours it so it soaks into all the carpet. It's on all the walls. She hunkers down in the puppet theater she made with all of her real friends, the only creatures to ever care about her surrounding her. And lights a match and throws it out. And it gets hotter and hotter and she hears her "husband" screaming behind his locked door and the smoke makes it harder to breathe but eventually, holding her puppets with fire all around her, the pure light goes black

PART 2 PENDING

[wttt-dirus-work]

Québec (Headcanon)

Québec, my province. Less population (8,576,595 in 2020) than New York City (8,804,190 in 2020), biggest province of the country by land.

She appeared when the French came in the Americas for the beaver fur under the name of “Nouvelle France” (New France). She knows the first thirteen colonies of the US, since after the fight between the French and Britain (Seventh Years’ War), she switched to the name The Province of Québec and became a British colony. I headcanon that she knows well New York and New Hampshire from her time with them as colony and as of today is kind of friendly with Maine (who speaks and understand French if they’re talking -> Acadian French is different than Cajun French, but still comprehensible if I try to understand despite the accent – kinda like when you try to understand an Irish accent-) and Vermont (maple syrup). She’s perfectly bilingual but hold a grudge towards English speaking people who refuse to learn French, or who understand French and refuse to speak it (cough, Ontario, cough, Alberta, Cough). She will talk with the provinces and territories solely in French, mostly because they never try to speak French when they visit her land, so why should she try when they are able to understand her? She mainly does it to make them understand how she feels when they keep being assholes to her.

She’s always cold (because of the three climates, subarctic being the biggest sized one, she’s feels as cold as Alaska, not warmer than 3 °C/-16°F in summer and at least -8°C/-22°F in winter and can go lower than -35°C/37°F, while staying around -3°C/-19°F during spring/fall) despite the population living mainly in the south of the province because of the “No Mans land” and continental climate similar to the northeast’s. She is salty to her government for the lumbering, and how they do nothing to protect the forest.

She doesn’t like people, kind of remember me of New York, but she will just not talk instead of getting into fights, except if it’s with Ontario or Alberta, or anyone about hockey. She’s mean but can be nice if you’re on her good side. She’s got a love/hate relationship with Ontario and doesn’t care about the other provinces/is chill with New Brunswick (who is bilingual too and speaks French despite his Acadian accent). She doesn’t really care about Saskatchewan, Manitoba and British Columbia and is in a truce-like friendship with Newfoundland, Prince Edward Island (PEI) and Nova Scotia (Newfoundland and Nova Scotia are the oldest in Canada). The “rivalry” concerning Alberta is mainly like Texas and Alaska’s relationship. She doesn’t really care about the west provinces and their problems towards her, which is mainly due to malformation concerning the money divided between the provinces (Alberta feels like she should get more for what she produces in oil, but Québec is the double of her population, so the latter consider it normal that she gets more money). Really, she just want to protect her culture and language.

Against all odds, she has friends: Nunavut -who she can relate for how their government treated their Natives and could understand why Nunavut wanted his own government who was closer to their people- and some of the Northeast states. Since New York buys her electricity from Hydro-Québec (more than a 100-year-old contract!), I headcanon that she and New York would at least talk to each other, and since they know each other from centuries before, I believe they would be good friends. They’re not always fighting like the rest of the Northeast, and I think New York would like Poutine (it’s literally French fries, cheeses curds and brown sauce) and Beavertail (the dude has a thing called Garbage plate, the bar is so low it’s in the ground). As for Vermont, who’s also buying power from her, they bonded over Maple Syrup (Québec is the main producer of the world) and how the real stuff is way better than the cheap from the market (we literally call it sirop de poteau, post syrup). Concerning Maine, he was literally called Little Canada by the Québécois immigrants who fled the depression. Due to the numerous towns/city close to St. Lawrence River, and La Gaspésie, there is some popular seafood closer to Québec city, so they definitely bonded over that.

As of sports team, she loves hockey (they all do) and the Habs is her team (New Brunswick support them because he feels kind of sad for her being alone with most of the maritime provinces rooting for the Maple Leafs/local teams). She doesn’t really care about the other sports but will fight anyone saying the Senators/Maple Leafs/Flyers/Bruins are better. She had horses for some time, but then moved north after Canada becoming a country to help her Native nations despite the way her government tried to annihilate them. She only come down south during the elections times/meeting with the government and when she spends time with the Maritime’s or New York.

Québec is the tallest province (6’7), and only Nunavut beat her in size (7’). Alaska is bigger than her (6’10), but smaller than Nunavut. She got white skin pink in the face/extremities from the cold, some muscle from cutting wood, dark brown hair usually tied in Dutch braids and sky-blue eyes, like her flag. She wears fluffy earmuff (help to muffle the sound in the cities) or a white toque (beanie, guys, for us a toque is a beanie), she got a Habs shirt under a blue flannel (which she sometimes switches for a red one), ripped light jeans and pairs of rainbow runners/converse (wink Montreal wink). She will wear boots in winter, don’t worry (it must be under -30°C/-34°F, like for me lol). She will complain about the snow/cold in jokes, just because she can, but she would never switch it for tornadoes, fire season, earthquakes, hurricanes, alligator, etc.

Here you can see her waving towards someone she knows and is kind of fond of. Is it a Northeast state? Is it New Brunswick or the Maritimes? Who knows. But I can guarantee you, it’s not the west. Honestly, it’s probably New York.

Fun fact about Québec : It's pronounced "kay-beck", not "kwah-beck", honestly, it's a personal pet-peeve. Also, we invented Poutine, and if the other provinces try to pass it as their making, they didn’t, they are big liars who lie. It was made in Drummondville, by Jean-Paul Roy in 1964. It’s not “Poo-t-ine”, it’s “poo-tsin”. If you don’t pronounce it with the “-tsin”, you’re saying it wrong; I don’t make the rules. And if you come here, we won’t hate you because you’re black/Asian/another ethnicity; we will hate you if you don’t speak French. And not France French (you won’t understand anything from us), Québec French. Acadian French is good if your accent isn’t that bad (also Cajun French is something else, like you saw with International Canada (Kallmekris) in that sketch, but I personally can understand it well), it’s like that saying: A French speaking (francophone) person in Montreal who speaks English is a bilingual, and English speaking (anglophone) person there who speaks French is a fucking miracle. Don’t take it personal, as I said before, it’s linked to our history. Oh, and we do swear a lot, but there’s gradation : Tabarnak is worse than Calisse or Esti, like fuck off is worse than damn. And saying fuck here is nothing vs our swears, it doesn’t hold the same importance than an Esti de Calisse de Tabarnak; we also use them as verbs and can accord them as nouns too.

Most of us doesn’t believe in Church while we can be Christian (look up Québec’s Bill 21 for more information towards our relationship with religion) or are polite with it and won’t force it in your face, and if you try to justify hating on other people because of your beliefs, we will judge you and won’t like you. Our way of life is kind of a mix between the Midwest and Northeast, in the “mind you own business” mindset for the latter, and the former, if you guys recall the Minnesota goodbye, yeah, we do that here (took me two hours at the door once, because my friend and I were still talking and unable to say goodbye) with also the being too nice, usually in the country, but not in the city (this is a generalisation, there’s always exceptions). From what I know, it’s mostly this way with the rest of the country, so I don’t think it’s a fun fact about the Province.

The more Cryptids we have (except for some locals stories; I have a few personals, just send a ask if you want to hear about it) is La Chasse-Galerie, some skinwalker, wendigo and Mugwump.

Oh, and most of the things about Alaska with cold/snow does apply to us, in majority. We do play the game of “am I on the road/guess the line” during winter and the spot the deer/moose in the rut season.

About her relationship with Cana, where I mentioned the mistake Cana made in the 80s:

Pierre E. Trudeau, the prime minister of the country at this time, knew René Lévesque, Québec’s Premier. They weren’t friends, especially after the referendum to make Québec a country, and when came the time to sign the Constitution in the 80s, to finalize Canada’s independence from the UK, Lévesque was excluded from the negotiations which took place on the night of November 4 to 5, 1981, called “Nuit des Longs Couteaux” (Night of the Long Knives). The National Assembly of Québec has never formally approved the law.

Concerning Cana and Québec, I think the latter is still angry at the Fed for not even informing her of it until it was signed, and it’s another reason we’re, as Québécois, pissed towards English people.

Masterpost here

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

This week, on a suggestion, we’re dropping by the offices of Wikipedia and hitting the “Random” button to see what comes up. So if you have any complaints, file them under “W” for “Who Cares?”

Aries 

Starting us off strong, here, Aries. “Terror attacks in Istanbul”. Your first listing is about the Armenian Revolutionary Federation’s Occupation of the Ottoman Bank on 26 August 1896. What’s it all about? Don’t know. The only thing we remember about Istanbul is the cover of “Istanbul Not Constantinople” by They Might Be Giants. If it wasn’t for Tiny Toon Adventures we might have never heard that song.

Taurus 

Your article is about Hungarian Olympic swimmer Éva Pajor. She competed in the women's 100 metre backstroke at the 1956 Summer Olympics in Melbourne, Australia… and gained asylum right after competing. Before her death in 2014 she taught swimming in Sydney, opened 2 swimming centers in the country, and had another named in her honour. This week… brush up on your swimming; summer is fast approaching.

Gemini  

Well, shoot. The article that popped up for you is about a lawyer in Louisiana. We could have just kept on clicking and found the next article that wasn’t half-way political, but no! We had to be honest and let you know that RNGesus rolled poorly for you. So this week you can go read up on Louisiana - then find a local Cajun restaurant to eat crawfish at. 

Cancer Moon-Child 

You get a European location! Driebes (“DREE-ehbs”). It’s a municipality located in the province of Guadalajara, Castile-La Mancha, Spain with a population of 361 inhabitants - so about 9 people per square kilometer. Some of us went to high schools with more people than that in their graduating classes. This week get back to practicing your Spanish… CASTILIAN Spanish! 

Leo 

You get Canadian singer-songwriter known as “Ruth B.” from Edmonton, Alberta. She speaks her parents' native language Amharic fluently, started singing on Vine in 2013, and created a sleeper hit song, "Dandelions" from Safe Haven, which grew in popularity due to TikTok. It has accumulated over 1 billion streams globally as of April 2023. This week, since you’re already older than her, she’s 27 now, just give up on your dreams… and find NEW ones to follow!

Virgo 

You get to learn about the 1961 Star World Championship. We hear you: “What’s the Star World Championship?” Excellent question! It’s the international sailing regattas in the Star class organized by the International Star Class Yacht Racing Association as sanctioned by the International Sailing Federation. What’s that all mean? It’s a bunch of people who think that going out on the ocean in a speed boat without engines, with the very real possibility of drowning, is fun. OH! And the winning boats that year were Frolic, Tranquil, and North Star IV. This week, learn the difference between Port and Starboard.

Libra 

Oh, you’re gunna love this one, Libra. Your term is “Angel Dusting”. It’s a marketing ploy to add some special ingredient to a product in hardly detectable measure, just so that it can be said to be in the product in order to hype the promotion of the main product. So you could SAY that some product with health benefits is included in the product, but not say that there’s not enough to actually cause the health benefit. This week… someone is going to offer you a job in advertising. Don’t Sell Your Soul! 

Scorpio 

For you, time to learn a little about Walter Netsch. He was an architect closely associated with the “brutalist” style of architecture, working with the firm of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill. And that’s where we’re going to jump tracks and ask, “Who is this ‘Skidmore’ fellow?” Louis Skidmore, of the Indianna ‘Skidmores’, was a WWI Army Sergeant, married Eloise Owings… because of COURSE her name was “Eloise”... who was the sister of Nathaniel A. Owings, who would be two of the three that started the firm. This week don’t be afraid to look into weird nepotism connections and old names.

Sagittarius 

You’re getting “Metsepole” (“MEHT-seh-poal”); an ancient Livonian county inhabited by the Finnic Livonians, on the east coast of the Gulf of Riga, at the northwest of what is now the Vidzeme region of Latvia. Metsepole was bordered by the ancient Estonian Sakala County to the north, Latgalian Tālava to the east and Livonian county of Turaida to the south. Now, Sagittarius? Did we just make up all that from some obscure 1980 Sci-Fi failed TV Pilot or is that real? There’s only one way to know…. Go read!

Capricorn 

You get “Bruce Wayne”... who is totally NOT Batman. We know that because one time Batman and Bruce Wayne appeared near the same place at the same time, as observed by Commissioner Gorden. Batman stayed on the other side of the street because he had a cold and didn’t want to spread it. Isn’t that Alfred such a– I MEAN BATMAN! He’s a great guy! This week buy some Fisherman’s Friend!

Aquarius 

For you we have the film “The Search for Animal Chin” - a 1987 skateboarding film featuring the Bones Brigade. It’s one of the first skateboarding films to have a plot, rather than simply a collection of skateboarding stunts and music videos. The Bones Brigade embark on a quest to find the first skateboarder, the mythological Won Ton "Animal" Chin who had gone missing. Their journey takes them to different locations including Hawaii, California, Nevada, and Mexico where they meet friends and skate different spots along the way. They never find the actual Animal Chin, but come to realize that in their search they discover the true meaning of their journey, the pure fun of skateboarding. This week… Just watch “Kung-Fu Panda” again.  

Pisces  

In typical fashion, you get some Geek Science stuff - the Progress M1-5, a spacecraft which was launched by Russia in 2001 to deorbit the fifteen-year-old Mir space station in a controlled fashion, far away from shipping lanes. Were it not for this module, Mir's orbit would have decayed uncontrolled over time (like Skylab), with debris potentially landing in a populated area. So this was a sacrificial spacecraft whose only job was to commit suicide and bring Mir down with itself. This week… get up super early and take a hot air balloon ride. It’s really pretty!

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

[ciderjacks]

yayyy Afro-indigenous cajuns yayyyyy

yayyy black cajuns yayyyy

[writer59january13]

On becoming a night owl...,

no matter whether or not ya give a hoot

especially after feeling super charged

watching the second night of Democratic National Convention conclave ushering a hint of "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Men and women are born and remain free and equal in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the common good.

Article 1 of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen (‘Déclaration des Droits de l’Homme et du Citoyen’)

Yours truly (a poker face)

exceptionally shy person

as a little boy who maintained an

inscrutable impassive expression

that hid my true feelings similar to an adept card "Sharp" and "shark" born this way nocturnal chronotype. I dusk cover tenebrous dark shadows creeping closer along the edge of night punctuating the outer limits

of the twilight zone,

where something mist tickle

and magical happens

after the stroke of midnight during the wee hours of a dawning day.

When morning hath broken tis time to prepare tea for the tillerman fifty plus shades of gray matter in mine noggin o' mine feels askew eyes wanna remain shut tight add teared with super glue

bookmarking, dawning, and foisting wispy tendrils o' daylight curlicue wing analogous to fragrant aroma of barbecue

said quotidian wake up calls could not gently assuage, bestir, boot cannot command.com, i.o.sys, nor msdos.sys me to arouse yours truly anew without fail generated abort, retry, and fail

thus deadened to world wide web, I continued

to remain dead,

albeit "FAKE" robbed zombie, this inability to evince being bright eyed and bushy tailed not always true

cuz, I remember myself as precious, hilarious, rambunctious... kid shew

wing vital signs of life easily confused for screeching bat that flew

out the portals of Hellenistic Hades

wolfing down breakfast of champions,

cereal, and then bidding cheery adieu

to mother (during her prime mate ting years)

dashing off (with two twisted sisters in tow)

to board school bus, while said vehicle still in moe

shun, bobbing up and down, (no app pell Le Cajun needed)

excited to mingle amidst peers,

especially Joe King even when afflicted with Dengue

Fever, a slight setback

eagerly awaiting new

learning would ensue

maintaining enthusiastic countenance never showing moue

handy dandy dee moody blue

affectation, yet buzzfeeding thru one grade after another with flying colors

well..., not quite straight exemplary A's, B's, nor C's

mine doting parents never made overissue

regarding grades (mine hew wing, trending Xing past beginning of ABC – alphabet)

nonetheless promoted, cuz momma and poppa did eschew

the punishing impact, wrought courtesy repeated grade

thus hopping, skipping, and jumping kangaroo

simultaneously reed dully playing invisible didgeridoo

until BAM, arising chipper as a lark

became futile effort this yahoo

suddenly feeling hijacked, lowjacked, whacked... numbskull metaphorically within by bamboo,

nope remaining like stoned temple pilot

doggone catatonic dunderhead screw

loose wooden demeanor, when at some juncture switcheroo

inside this body dielectric fleshy hue

man, whereby he dozed off

until...four after midnight, (or thereabouts)

invariably entranced by practitioner of voodoo hok kood also tame a shrew

wild horses couldn't drag me out of bed

(been there... done that) even a slew

of feral ponies quasi native - all muscle and sinew to Chincoteague, and/ or Assateague Islands,

thus resigned myself maximizing energy particularly after using water loo

when hunger pains drove acute

ability with absolute zero effort yes believe me you such hyperawareness came to rescue

writer's block - whew!

[twistingtreeancestry]

My Cherokee Princess

It's a tale as old as bloodlines.

In honor of Canada's observance of National Indigenous Peoples Day, I want to talk about the Indigenous North American myths in the closets of my family history.

Before I get to that, however, I want to highlight some amazing, educational, funny, dedicated, and/or crafty Indigenous creators or brands I follow. They are not listed in a particular order, and this is not a comprehensive list. I do my best to only use the names and titles that the individuals publicly use themselves. Please let me know of corrections!

None of the links I'm including in this post are affiliated or endorsed in any way.

Birdie Sam, T'lingit

Bisan Owda, Palestinian

Angeline Boulley, Nish Kwe

Ari Tison, Bribri

Melissa Blair, Anishinaabekwe

Dani Trujillo, Indigenous and Chicana

Azalea Crowley, Kānaka Maoli and Filipino American

Ida Helene Benonisen, Sámi - Reconnecting

One Way Sky, band, Gila River Indian Community and the Tohono O'odham Nation

Turanga Morgan-Edmonds, Māori

Yolteotl Creations (Angie Zuzeth), Tongva - Reconnecting

Mozart Gabriel, Taos Pueblo and Diné Navajo Salt Clan

Birdy Brzezinski, Menominee/Potawatomi

Paaka Davis, Māori

Che Jim, Diné, Nishnaabe, and Chicano

Vanessa Brousseau, Inuk

Waŋblí Luta Win, Sicangu and Oglala Lakota

Ray Tony Charlie, Coast Salish Elder

Hāwane Rios, Kānaka 'Ōiwi

Lily Hi'ilani Okimura, Kānaka Maoli

Nikki Apostolou, Kanien'kéha

Kayuula Nova, Inuk

Tse shá’íí Chíníí, Lipan Apache and Shoshone

Next, I want to share some websites (also in no particular order and non-comprehensive) that I'm currently adding to a Linktree that I hope to air soon.

Land Back

Protect Uncontacted Tribes Petition

Helping Homeless Keiki Succeed

Demand a Ceasefire in Gaza

Orange Shirt Society

Native Justice Coalition

MMIWUSA

Defense for Children International Palestine

Indian Residential School Survivors Society

Council for Native Hawaiian Advancement

Lāhui Foundation

Palestine Children's Relief Fund

International Work Group for Indigenous Affairs

A Little Background

It was said my paternal side had distant blood relations to the Apache, Blackfoot, Cherokee, and Comanche nations (as well as French and English), while my maternal side had distant blood relations to the Sioux Confederacy (as well as Scandinavian and Irish).

As a child, I took this at face value. I thought surely the elders of my family would know with certainty who we were and where we came from. As an adult, I know better.

Raised with my paternal family, we "knew" we had Native American blood, but it wasn't something to specify outside of the home. My Pawpaw would tell me since we didn't live the way Native Americans did, it wasn't right to call ourselves that. We were proud Cajuns, and that's all anyone else needed to know. At the time, and even among some today, it's believed that to be Cajun automatically makes you at least part Native, though that's a false generalization.

My mother never spoke much about the alleged Sioux connection within her family. It was just a "truth" passed down. She used to call me her "Indian baby" [mega cringe to think back on] due to my tanned skin when I was born and how dark my tan could get as I grew. In elementary school, I was called an "Indian Coonass" and was relentlessly told that my skin wasn't tanned, it was dirty. Spoiler: No, it wasn't.

Whether I was Native American or not, it became a minute piece of my identity—a negative one, at that. By middle school, I rejected the Cajun and Native American identities that were forced on me and I stayed out of the sun as much as I could. By high school, I was no longer fluent in Cajun or Metropolitan French, had largely dropped my accent, and all thoughts of being Native American or Cajun were banished to the void.

After I left Louisiana, my actual knowledge of Native American issues began to deepen, and it finally started sinking in that the family lore was likely wrong. I never considered myself Native American again, as I doubted I would find proof to the contrary.

Nearly Caught Up

It was about this time that I initially made my first family tree on Ancestry.com. I had multiple reasons for doing so, but it was in part to set my familial record straight. I wanted to prove once and for all that we had no Native American blood or affiliations to stop the perpetuation of the Cherokee Princess myth. It was literally the least I could do.

I realized fairly quickly that I didn't know much about my relatives. I didn't care to know my biodad's side of the family that I already knew, and my mother's side had always been somewhat of a mystery.

Thankfully, the family members that I kept in my life were able to give me a great headstart. Sadly, I didn't know much about how to research family history at the time. When I kept hitting brick walls, I got bored and put it down. It was largely forgotten about for years.

In 2016, I discovered Find a Grave. I regularly visit cemeteries, so it seemed like a great idea to help connect the dead to their living or departed families. It gave me a chance to discover more about these long-forgotten people and to tell their stories—to let them live if but for a moment in someone's consciousness.

While researching, I discovered multiple other sites and tools. It eventually led me back to my family tree. This time around, I've learned more than I ever thought I would. As I added individuals and family to my tree, it was amazing to make speculative connections from the past to things about me now. I've always been afraid of sailing across the ocean. Could that be generational trauma that influenced my genes from my ancestors and their families dying aboard ships during Le Grand Dérangement?

Now, as I briefly mentioned in my essay, Happy National DNA Day!, I have 0.3% Indigenous American traces in my DNA. This lends credence to having a Native American ancestor. Is it on my maternal side? Paternal? Who knows, because I haven't definitive proof that the individual even exists.

23andMe traces back roughly 8 generations, so I have an approximate time frame. That's not overly helpful when I can't even make it past 3rd great-grandparents on some branches. Still, I've ended up with 3 unverified possibilities.

"Potential" Indigenous Ancestors

Marie "Madam Treville" Lantier

The first possibility is my supposed paternal 4th great-grandmother, Marie. She was an alleged Indigenous traiteur who lived in Egan, Acadia Parish, Louisiana, USA. I learned of her through a distant relative that I met while inquiring about my 3rd great-grandmother Mary Louise (Marjolet) Simon. No sources or additional information were given, save for the warning that my relative couldn't verify Marie existed. Neither have I.

Joseph Doucet

The second possibility is my paternal 5th great-grandfather (of a different lineage), Joseph. Other descendants of his have accepted the claim that he is Joseph "of Atakapa" Doucet. Granted, I haven't done a lot of research on this family unit, but I did make it a point to look into this for a few days.

According to a French adventurer named Louis LeClerc Milfort, Joseph was a European Jesuit who had been chosen by a band of Atakapa Natives to be their chief and had been living with them for barely over a decade with his six children.

I've read and reread the entry Milfort wrote in 1781 that discusses this encounter, and I cannot rightfully claim that my ancestor Joseph Doucet is Joseph "of Atakapa". There is no substantial identifying information that possibly links the two. For one, it never mentions Joseph's surname. As a matter of fact, these are the only two times his name is even mentioned.

"He told me that his name was Joseph [. . .]" "[. . .] I took leave of Joseph and of the Atakapas [. . .]"

The entry doesn't list a wife, and the only wife I have a record of is Celeste Bellard, but they didn't marry until 1805. The only children I have a record of are their two children, the first (my ancestor) was born after the entry. None of the six children mentioned in the entry were named.

"I have six children whom I love a great deal, and with whom I want to end my days."

There's also an issue with the timeline. Based on the father I have listed for my Joseph, he couldn't have been born before the late 1760s. However, based on the listed siblings I have for him, it's more likely he was born in the early to mid-1770s. This would put him at approximately 11 years old or younger. That's pretty young to have 6 kids and be a chief. Even if you assume he was born in the late 1760s, that really only tacks on an extra few years.

Based on a lack of substantial information and evidence, as well as my observations, I don't consider my Joseph and Joseph "of Atakapa" to be the same individual.

Germain Doucet

The last possibility is Joseph Doucet's 3rd great-grandfather, my 10th, Germain. According to the Mi'kmaq Nation's tribal pages (which has since been modified and no longer shows this passage) said:

"Germain Doucet, born 1641, is a Mi’kmaq man with a Turtle Island YDNA haplogroup, his lineage founded a ship building company that is still in business today, the family-owned fishing schooners and some Doucet men were registered owners of ships in the international shipping industry during the early 1700s. Germain and his descendants are Mi'kmaq men and members of the Mi'kmaq Tribe."

Now, there is a new passage that reads:

"The genealogy of the Doucet Turtle Island YDNA haplogroup descending from Germain Doucet raised by the French colonist, Germain Doucet is possibly the YDNA male clan lineage of the Membertou family of the Mi’kmaq Tribe. DNA testing of the 1610 Wampum Belt Treaty with Pope Paul V could confirm Turtle Island YDNA and MTDNA haplogroups of all who have touched the 1610 Wampum Belt Treaty, including Pope Paul V. DNA is a molecular clock. Because the identity of Germain’s mother is not recorded it is unknown what the mtDNA haplogroup is of Germain’s mother. Autosomal DNA test results of Germain and his wife Marie Landry’s descendants will eventually assist in the triangulation of kinship relationships to identify and confirm the identity of Germain’s mother and her relationship to the Membertou family."

Due to the Native Heritage Project, it seems beyond a shadow of a doubt that Germain is indeed a Mi'kmaq Native. I don't count him as an ancestor yet, despite getting a DNA match with another descendent of his, because I haven't done my own research and collected documented evidence that I'm a direct descendent of his and Mary/Marie Landry.

So. . . Am I Indigenous? Can I claim Indigeneity and join a tribe?

What happens if I can definitively prove these three ancestors (or anyone else) are Indigenous? Does that make me Indigenous? Well, in the most basic of ways, yes. I have Indigenous American DNA, so to that extent, I am a wee bit Indigenous American. Does that mean I get to claim Indigeneity? No, it certainly does not. Can I join a tribe? No, I certainly cannot.

While some tribes or individuals are quick to genuinely welcome anyone with a single drop of Native blood with open arms, that isn't the rule, and it shouldn't be expected or demanded by white folk who get excited at trace amounts of Native DNA.

According to the Native Governance Center, "about 70% of the federally recognized Native nations that share geography with the United States use blood quantum as a metric for citizenship." Generally, you'd need about 25% of your DNA to be Indigenous American to be recognized as such. I have less than 1%. How could I seriously justify making such a claim about myself? How could I seriously think I have a rightful place within a tribe?

Being Indigenous

Due to the history of Indigenous people being stripped of their land, families, spirituality, and other cultural and religious practices, many tribes and individuals are stringent on who can call themselves Native. Many white folks get up in arms about this, calling it gatekeeping and racist, when in actuality it's a safeguard against further whitewashing and colonization. It's a protective barrier against those who willy-nilly want to be "Indian Princesses" or want to reap the few benefits that Indigenous people can get.

This brings me to the term "Pretendian". A Pretendian is someone who is not of Native descent, typically knows that they aren't, but still peddles the false narrative that they are in order to capitalize off of the (usually) stereotypical identity/product/service. This term also encompasses my family, even if we assumed it to be an honest mistake. The issue is that for generations we blindly accepted that we were Indigenous, took on Indigenous trauma and triumph that we had no right to, without ever looking to verify it.

Pretendians happen for many reasons. Some are intentionally malicious while others are completely innocuous, or somewhere in between. It could be shame over the atrocities ancestors committed against Natives, assuaged by assuming a Native identity. It could be for a leg-up on land claims over other colonizers. It could be that other races/ethnicities would rather be thought of as Native instead of their actual race/ethnicity. It could be that a non-Native family lived among Native families, and over time the story changed to the non-Native family being a Native family.

No matter the reason, it's never a good excuse to continue perpetuating this harmful practice when you either know better or could easily learn better in 2024.

Indigenous people have always deserved better from us, and we've failed them at every turn. They simply want their right to exist as they please and return to being stewards of the land we've decimated.

Indigenous Voices

There is still a lot that I don't know about Indigenous issues. Am I using the proper terms? Is the history I reference/know true or colonized and whitewashed? Am I misrepresenting a people I'm not part of? What if there are conflicting viewpoints among the same group or individuals?

Until I get checked, I won't know.

The important part of striving to be an ally and accomplice to Indigenous people is accepting that because you're not of them and don't share their experiences, you'll likely never know everything you should or want, but you should never stop learning what you can.

It's also important to accept that you'll be checked at least once as long as you're participating in discussions involving Indigeneity. I've been checked multiple times over the years, most recently by a Romani person. Due to listening to other Romani voices, I pushed back against a picture posted on Facebook that used the g-slur. It definitely wasn't used in an intentionally offensive way, but I'd learned that as an ally and accomplice, I should still push back.

I wasn't aggressive but offered an alternative picture that didn't use the word with an explanation of why. Then the Romani person confronted me and told me that I shouldn't speak on behalf of their people and that they saw no issue with the use of the word. What should I do in that situation? There are conflicting voices and I'm being publicly reprimanded.

When Indigenous people (or anyone of any race/ethnicity/nationality) use their voice to correct you on topics that pertain to them, you should put your pride and ego aside to listen. Could they be way off-base? Sure. They're human, too. Does an individual or tribe speak for all individuals or tribes? No, humans are too varied for that kind of overarching consensus (most of the time, anyway).

However, it's worth the time to reflect on what was said to you (especially if it triggers you). You might discover a mindset or behavior that you never realized was problematic.

For me, I was triggered momentarily when the Romani person corrected me because I was merely trying to do what I was asked to do in a situation where the slur was used and then suddenly I was being scolded for interfering. It was contradictory and confusing, which can easily lead to irritation or even aggression.

Instead of arguing, I politely explained why I interjected, that I accepted their voice on this topic, that I apologized, and that I would use more caution in the future. Afterward, I was still a bit spiffed at the way I was admonished, but I took time to reflect on my actions and their words.

Honestly, I'm still learning how to navigate potential similar scenarios to come, and have curtailed how often I interject on behalf of others until I figure things out. Allyship and Accompliceship are positions of constant learning and evolving. It's hard, which is why it's so easy for others to see and call us out when we're not being genuine or doing our due diligence. Besides, being an ally or accomplice can't compare to the hardships of being the actual marginalized person or community.

In Conclusion

My family, purposefully or ignorantly, are/were Pretendians, and I'm sorry from the pit of my gut for my part in it. I take full accountability for my naivety and ignorance. Despite undoubtedly having Indigenous American trace DNA, I do not and will not have the right to claim Indigeneity and all that entails.

The importance of uplifting Indigenous voices cannot be overstated. They are still fighting against the systemic and systematic oppression that endangers their rights, protections, families, practices, and land. Follow Indigenous creators, learn whose land you live on, listen to how you can help (and be flexible on the feedback you get from doing so), stop believing the racist and dehumanizing things you've been told about them, and don't make trouble that they will incur the consequences of.

[fantasyinvader]

@gascon-en-exil

I know we've talked about this before, about how Cajun food is more well known than the food of Quebecois. I've actually been watching a bunch of videos by a youtuber named Tyler Bucket where he learns about Canada, from our snacks to our fast food places and even history stuff like Terry Fox. And watching this just made me curious about why Quebec's food culture.

As I've said before, Quebec really has a thing for sweets. Like, you do not have Vachon many varieties of snack cakes. Turns out that's because Vachon was bought out by a foreign company and doesn't want to expand into the US due to competition with Hostess, and that's kind of a reoccuring thing. You're also not as big on maple syrup whereas in Canada you can go to events where they serve warm maple syrup on snow. I am not making that up.

Anyway, Quebecois food traces itself back to 17th century French cuisine, adapted to suit Canada with influence from native Americans, British traders and even some parts of American cuisine because of Quebec's history with the fur trade. The poverty of Quebec's past, alongside harsh winters and the condition of the soil all play a role in it, leading to more traditional meals using game meat.

Beans slow cooked with bacon and maple syrup, or a thick pea soup that may have chunks of ham added, that's some traditional Quebec food you can find in your grocery stores. Back when I ran my parent's restaurant, I once had to explain the concept of a “hot chicken” sandwich, as in chicken between two pieces of bread covered in gravy. We have the Pâté chinois, or Shepard's Pie, with ground beef on the bottom, corn in the middle and mashed potatoes on the top all baked together (it's actually one of my favorite meals, especially if there is gravy to top it off with in the event it's a little dry). If I was to head out more towards Eastern Quebec, there's more of a focus on fish and lobster such as serving lobster on a hot dog bun.

That's actually a thing you used to be able to get at McDonald's in the Atlantic provinces, the McLobster, but to my understanding it's one of McDonald's failed menu items like the McPizza (which everyone I've ever heard mention it misses greatly)

(looking at list) I had never heard of Pizza-ghetti before, where it's either a half-pizza served with spaghetti on the side, or spaghetti served on top of a pizza with melted cheese on top... I want to try that now.

I guess that's the thing about Quebec food. We have great sweets and baked goods, but a lot of our food prioritizes practicality and a lot of it is variations to what people were eating in France a few hundred years ago before it became modern French cuisine. I guess with the contacts I have on here that are from France, you come to Quebec you're going to be eating food that would be out of your history books... well, that and poutine. Maybe pizza-ghetti.

[cyarskaren52]

I know they’re not together anymore but I love a good romantic poem

Twitter fawns over Pardi’s poem seemingly for Megan Thee Stallion

As previously reported by REVOLT, amid a high-profile court case and the controversy surrounding it, last year, Megan Thee Stallion publicly announced it was time for a break because she was “physically and emotionally” tired. After the Hot Girl Coach also removed a handful of pictures from her Instagram account, fans suspected there was trouble in paradise with the 28-year-old and her boyfriend, rapper and songwriter Pardison “Pardi” Fontaine.

While the two have kept things relatively quiet about their relationship status in recent months, this week, Pardi chose to share his feelings at an open mic night in Los Angeles. “NEVER DONE POETRY BEFORE. THOUGHT THIS WAS FITTING. THANK YOU, Da Poetry Lounge, FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE THIS,” he captioned a video on Instagram. “Look, you a survivor, but not a victim. Somewhere between ‘God forgive ‘em’ and ‘I gotta get ‘em,’” Pardi began in the clip that was just over two minutes long.

“You want acknowledgement for your bravery, not sympathy,” he continued while also describing the woman’s ambition. As Pardi’s words flowed, with mention of her being “spicy” and “cajun” like the Texas-based restaurant Pappadeaux, fans immediately believed his poem was about the Houston native. “I love Pardi’s poem. I’m pretty sure that was dedicated to Megan. He really tells that he sees her and he loves everything about her. That’s so cute,” one person wrote on Twitter. “Black love. I love how Pardi is with Megan! Everything about that poem was LOVE,” another said in response to his admission.

Others hoped he’d become an example for potential partners: “Just saw Pardi’s poem to Megan, and I loved every bit of it. I remember a time when men would write poetry of love and vulnerability. More of this, please.” Another got straight to the point about their dating requirements: “​​Write me a poem like Pardi or [get the f**k outta here].” While the two hitmakers may simply be living their love lives out of the public eye, Pardi seemingly squashed breakup rumors in February by sharing a photo of himself and a woman with nails similar to Thee Stallion’s holding heart-shaped shot glasses. The snap was posted around Valentine’s Day, which coincides with the “Cognac Queen’s” birthday.

See what others are saying about Pardi’s poem below!

I love Pardi poem. I’m pretty sure that was dedicated to Megan ☺️ he really tells that he sees her and he loves everything about her. That’s so cute 🥹❤️ — Nelly 🤎 (@ItsForMegan) May 8, 2023

I’m sure that Poem Pardi did was for Megan and it was Beautiful…y’all will never get me to hate that man💯 — theequeenstallion1👑Fan Account (@queen_stallion1) May 9, 2023

Pardison Fontaine shares the Valentine’s Day he planed for Megan thee Stallion. 🥺 “Pardi With A Hottie” pic.twitter.com/o9w8LXlYsD — Female Rap Room (@FemaleRapRoom) February 19, 2021

Megan Thee Stallion and Pardi taking shots for Valentine's Day via his Instagram story pic.twitter.com/l2VMtI3afE — Stallion Stats (@MegansStats) February 15, 2023

Omggggg the poem Pardi wrote for Megan is everythingggggg pic.twitter.com/5t42oZkDRu — teamstallion (@JourneeRogers1) May 10, 2023

Write me a poem like Pardi or gtfo. — S H E V Y (@Shev__y) May 10, 2023

Pardi is IN LOVE with Meg and not afraid to show it. — Akan Thee Doll, Esq. 💜🇳🇬⚖️ (@AkanButNoJeezyy) May 9, 2023

Just saw Pardi’s poem to Megan and I loved every bit of it. I remember a time when men would write poetry of love and vulnerability. More of this please — Lady Whistledown in the Hood (@colorfullstory) May 10, 2023

Black Love🖤 I love how Pardi is with Megan!  Everything about that poem was LOVE — Jasamineee👑 (@Jazzoo___) May 10, 2023

Pardi's poem to Megan is so cute and such a turn a on… that man>>> 😍❤ — Bolawa (@Bolawa19) May 9, 2023

Pardi’s poem >>>>>>>>>>>>  Omgggggg I love that fucking poem. He needs to marry Meg!!!! — Dana🐝 (@cranberryNavy) May 10, 2023

Sent from my iPhone

[brucebocchi]

oh btw i have reasons for every single one of these:

Cowboys/Dojima: Incapable of accepting that what they once loved will never return to them, forever indulging in escapism and unwilling to face what's in front of them

Giants/Mitsuru: Stodgy, from old money, completely unaware of how the world around them actually works in this day and age

Eagles/Haru: fuck da police

Commanders/Sumi: "You know, Senpai, the old name was actually a tribute to Native Americans, they never should've changed it, I'm gonna keep calling them the Re-"

Bears/Akechi: S U F F E R I N G (also this work by gimmie20dollas that has become my entire personality)

Lions/Kanji: Hard nosed, smash mouth football, duh (actually he thought the Hawaiian Blue color was super cute but he'd never tell you that)

Packers/Morgana: Zero innate understanding of how anything works outside of their own milieu, arrogance hiding insurmountable insecurities, I hope they both die

Vikings/Ann: It's a common headcanon that she's part Scandinavian, so this was an easy one. Just don't tell her about 1998

Falcons/Makoto: No matter the accolades, no matter the talent, no matter the devoted fanbase, both will always and forever be mid (I'm so sorry Makoto I love you)

Panthers/Yusuke: Prone to rash, irresponsible decisions that will leave them impoverished for ages to come; in desperate need of leadership

Saints/Sojiro: What is gumbo but Cajun curry?

Bucs/Ryuji: Pirates. I didn't think any further than that and neither did he

Cardinals/Futaba: Kyler Murray is a gamer and Futaba thinks that's swell

Rams/Rise: Glitz, glamor, and mortgaging your future for short term glory. It's the idol way

Niners/Naoto: Naoto saw that little man Brock Purdy rise to greatness and got gender envy. And what better place for that than San Francisco

Seahawks/Chie: Found out about the Legion of Boom a dozen years ago and thought it was the coolest shit ever

Bills/Yu: Exudes DGAF energy but barely beneath the surface is nothing but passion and loyalty. Also Bills fans all have sister complexes

Dolphins/Fuuka: As we all know, Fuuka has a deep compassion for her team and profound technical knowledge, but can't cook for shit. Just like having Mike McDaniel for a coach

Patriots/Akihiko: Much like the Brady/Belichick years Akihiko is defined by a borderline-psychotic infatuation with always improving, always staying on top, and always finding a made-up mental hurdle to climb. Also he just gives me New Englander vibes. He'd probably call you a slur

Jets/Yosuke: Much-deserved suffering.

Ravens/Ren: Much like the city of Baltimore, Ren gives off a goofy, theatrical vibe that can sometimes overshadow his innate toughness and loyalty. Unlike Ray Lewis, though, he doesn't deserve to have a criminal record

Bengals/Shinjiro: Hardscrabble, rough history, both barely surviving on meager funds

Browns/Teddie: He found out about Deshaun Watson and liked the cut of his jib

Steelers/Yukari: Always serviceable and more than a little mean, though clinging desperately to the past to avoid the pain of the present

Texans/Kawakami: A life of exhaustion, malaise, and zero forward momentum while drowning in debt is almost as depressing as having to be in Houston. Also I just really wanted to photoshop her with a Lone Star

Colts/Door-kun: Makoto doesn't care, and what better team to not care about than the Colts? Folks,

Jaguars/Junpei: Junpei is basically Jason Mendoza

Titans/Aigis: Technically sound, maybe, but wildly incompetent in most other regards. Titan Up, as they say

Broncos/Adachi: Years of abject mediocrity after trying to make something of yourself, desperately clawing to any shred of normalcy or relevance, would drive anyone to madness and sociopathy. Also Adachi is there

Chiefs/Yukiko: Red offensive powerhouses stick together, I guess. Definitely killed a guy

Raiders/Kotone: A yawning, bleak emptiness just beneath the surface. May have fans still, sure, but long forgotten by just about everyone else

Chargers/Zenkichi: Became a fan when they were in San Diego and has foregone all dignity to continue supporting them. Once again, a loved one escapes his life and he finds himself looking backward, chasing after a past that will never return to him.

Persona characters as football fans

this is my magnum opus