#Never Grow Up is for Amelia Pond

[killjoygem]

Currently obsessed with both Speak Now (TS album) and Doctor Who, which means every Speak Now song is a dr who song now

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.

[readychilledwine]

Pressure

A/n: this was heavily inspired by this post

Amelia is one of my favorite ocs I have trapped in the writing world I keep under lock and key. She is one of my Archeron sister characters that I decided was the perfect firey match to Eris. In this little snippet of their lives together, she's just finally had it. Maybe someday, I'll be brave enough to bring their full story into light.

Warnings - mentions of smut, a lot of vulgar language, implied mental breakdown, alcohol use as a coping mechanism, Beron Vanserra is mentioned, and a lack of editing.

Amelia was just done.

Between the constant pressure of being the dutiful wife of the future High Lord of Autumn, the sister of the High Lady of Night, and Beron's new favorite toy to fuck with, she had finally had it.

Her hair was a tangled mess on top of her head. She had attempted to hide it in a messy bun, but it was no use. The blonde mess of curls had officially taken on a mind of its own.

She knew her makeup was smudged, but she could not find the energy to care. Exhaustion had won today. Hence, the two steaming cups of coffee she was double fisting like Cassian at Rita's. Black mascara and eyeliner caused her already tired eyes to look even worse.

She had not even bothered to change since her 4pm breakdown in the dog kennels. She was covered in fur and the lingering scent of hounds. She knew she should bathe, make herself presentable before Eris got to their chambers, but she just genuinely did not care anymore.

She had lost herself in this game of High Lord manipulation and mental chess. It was a game she had never asked to play, and one she was sure would be the death of her if Eris did not off his father soon.

She had loved to read before this all. But lately, she never had time, and when she did, the book quickly found its way into her "rainy day reattempt later" pile. She was trying to distract herself with another attempt at a book tonight, though.

She thought maybe a different genre would help. She had taken Azriel's recommendation in a psychological horror novel, and just found herself laughing at the poor build up, the half effort descriptions, and the ever growing plot holes.

"I fucking quit," she tossed her book to the side, sipping on the warm bitter liquid as she stared into the fire.

"My spark," the deep honeyed voice of her mate reached her ears. "Amelia, baby, what's wrong?"

"Fuck you and fuck this place." Eris chuckled at her response before sitting on the couch near her spot on the floor. "Fuck the games. The court systems. The High Lords. Fuck the fae. Fuck being fae. Fuck all of you."

She took another deep sip of her coffee nose scrunched at the bitter taste. Eris could feel her through the bond. He could feel her love for him, but it was weighed down heavily by her anger, frustration, and exhaustion.

"Tell me more," Eris leaned his elbows onto his knees. He was allowing his wife, his mate, this one moment of anger. He knew this dance all too well, and he could tell she needed to have this moment.

"I really fucking hate that prick your dad has in charge of the libraries. He's a condescending piece of pond scum, and I will dance near his pyre one of these days," Eris felt his eyes go wide, covering his mouth to hide the laughter threatening to escape.

Amelia continued after sipping her coffee. "I hate your father, too, actually." She paused, switching to sip the coffee she had secretly added Eris's whiskey into. "Do you know what that fucker said to me today?"

Eris smirked. "Tell me what he said, my love."

"That fucker said to me I was failing at my duties as a wife since we do not have a child yet. He told me to fuck you more and learn my place."

Eris was frozen as he watched her drink the coffee he could smell liquor radiating from again. "And what did you say?"

"I told him you've never once complained about how I perform my wifely duties when your cock is in my mouth. That shut him up real fuckin fast. Fucking asshole."

Eris took in Amelia's appearance for the first time. Her heavy eyelids. Her chapped lips. Her messy hair and disheveled clothing. She had not bathed today, and he knew she had not slept last night. He took in the look of despair etching deeper into her face as she drank. The stack of books tossed onto the ground without care.

"I think we need a vacation, my love." Eris's voice was soft as he moved to sit on the ground with his mate. "Maybe I should send a message to Kal. We could go to Winter for a little-"

"Fuck. The. High. Lords. Fuck the games. Fuck the song and dance. If we're going to be putting on a show, it may as well be in this fucking hellhole."

Eris paused. Any trip to another court would involve Amelia and him playing the same roles they were in daily. The ones she clearly had enough of. There were few places he would be able to take her to get away from all of this, and he knew of a perfect one.

"How about the cabin?"

He watched as her breath hitched. Her eyes peeked over to him before refocusing on the hearth. They had not been to the cabin since their mating ceremony. It had been two months of them alone. Two months of love, sex, and silence.

"No duties. No High Lords. No masks. Just you, me, and the hounds." He kissed below her ear. "Just us. All alone. Up in the Autumn mountains. Where you can scream as loud as you like. Curse as loudly as you like." Another kiss on her jaw line and then her neck.

"Just us?"

He nodded as he caged her between him and the couch. Straddling her thighs with his knees so she could not escape.

"Just us, our hounds, and that wicked mouth of yours."

"Take me," she whispered to Eris, her blue eyes sparkling for the first time tonight. "Take me please."

"I intend to," Eris nipped her nose, grabbing her small hand in his as she went to smack his chest. "If you go take a bath."

Amelia shut her eyes before chuckling. "Fuck you."

Eris smiled gently down at her. "And you'll get to. After your bath. Come my spark, we will bathe together and plan our trip."

[sebastianstansqueen]

Lost In The Shadows: Part Ten

A/N: I'm gonna try and be more frequent, start giving me Ideas for what type of series you want to see next, i’m curious and finished writing this one so lets see if I can start getting parts out more frequently, If you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.

Wordcount: 1,390

Warnings: angst, and hospital stuff, if I forgot anything let me know please!

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// 

Tags: @cherryblossomsky- - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond - @leyannrae- @avengerlex - @pineprincess - @nik2write - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel - @sebsgirl71479- @missvelvetsstuff - @hadesownhell - @casa-boiardi - @winterslove1917- @hallecarey1 - @ash-craze - @barnesxstan - @unaxv - @bethexo07 - @itsmytimetoodream - @sebastians-love - @stoneyggirl2

Natasha took a taxi to the hospital as soon as her shift at inferno ended, she found out by a call from Andy, who she found in the waiting room on the floor Y/n was on. “What the hell happened?” She asked with concern as she stormed up to him. 

It almost irritated Natasha how put together he was, in this worrying moment. “It was a bomb. That’s all we know so far.”

“And where is James?” All she had was questions, and Natasha didn’t want to consider how hurt Y/n was at the moment.

“He was in the car with her.” Andy looked down, concerned for both of them, with what Y/n had been going on about since coming back from Malibu he’d begun liking Bucky for her, seeing how happy he made her now.  

“Are they okay?” Natasha asked with a weak strangled voice. 

“I don’t know.” Andy sighed. 

When Y/n’s eyes opened she could barely keep them that way because of the bright fluorescents, she groaned out of discomfort due to everything hurting. “Thank God!” Natasha hugged her aching body.

“Get off of me.” Y/n says. “Please.” 

“I’m sorry if I thought you were dead.” Natasha rolled her eyes with a smirk. 

Y/n sighed, shaking her head, then her eyes widened. “Where’s Bucky?”

“He’s in the room next door.” She explained shortly.

Y/n felt relieved that he was at least at the hospital as well. “Is he okay?” She leaned up causing her to groan slightly. 

“Are you okay?” Y/n gave Natasha a look after she asked, clearly more interested in if her husband was alright. “He’s fine. Now what about you?” 

“I’m fine, clearly, I’m awake at least. Is he awake?” She asked with wide eyes looking at the red head. 

Natasha frowned at Y/n’s lack of concern for herself, and that this was the answer was possibly gonna upset Y/n. “Not yet, but he is stable, from his surgery considering what happened.” 

Y/n’s concern now shot through the roof. “What happened? I need to see him now, if something is wrong.” She began to try and force herself up out of the bed, trying to take the heart monitor thing off, and getting ready to try and do the same thing with the IV. 

“Y/n, that's not a great idea.” Natasha pushed her lightly so she laid against the pillow again, Y/n arched a brow at that. “You’ve been in bed for a week, unmoving, your legs are probably going to be weak, don’t rush anything.” 

Y/n looked at Natasha with annoyance. “Nat, I’m fine, I want to see him, what’s wrong, what happened?” Nat stays silent, as Y/n in her head slowly pieces together what is going on. “Why don’t you want me to see him?” She squints. 

“I want you to heal, I never said I didn’t want you to see him.” Natasha could see Y/n’s anger growing, and even though Natasha could be considered one of her closest friends she, like everyone else in New York, didn’t want to be the one on the receiving end of  it. 

Y/n nodded. “Sure. I’m asking this one more time Nat, as a fair warning, why don’t you want me to go see my husband?” 

Natasha only had one answer for this. “Because it might give you a stress ulcer if you do. Or you’ll work yourself till you do, because that's what you do for comfort.” Natasha rushed all of this out, along with the bit of rambling. Y/n began getting up again, she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.  She stood and began, well barely walking, she was mad that one of Natasha’s excuses were real, her legs were feeling numb. “Do you want me to get you a wheelchair?” 

“I’m gonna walk in that room, no one will be taking me in there.” Y/n said with her normal defiance, making Natasha roll her eyes. “So will you help me walk to the door?” She whined. Natasha smiled, moving to help her walk to Bucky’s room door.

Y/n was still being supported while walking by Natasha as they walked into the room. Steve along with Bucky’s family sat in the room, Y/n quickly acted as if she hadn’t been using her friend as a crutch a moment ago. “What happened? Is he okay?” She asked them since Natasha seemed to be answer less. 

“Y/n, calm down, he’s stable.” Steve said, as he came up to her.

“I already know that, I know he’s stable and fine, but what else happened that everyone seems to be trying to cover up for me, I just want to make sure he is okay!” Y/n snapped at everyone in that moment, she didn’t want to hear what she already knew.

“Y/n.” Her eyes shift to Winifred, Y/n’s look softening slightly. “I want to talk to Y/n alone.” She tells everyone else, soon they all shuffle out of the room.

“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked softly, moving slowly towards a chair in hopes that her legs wouldn’t give out in the few steps. 

“I understand you don’t want to have this sugar coated, but it’s gonna be a lot to take in.”  Winnifred gently warned, all of this was freaking her out even more, from where she currently sat, Bucky looked fine, other than his usual stubble growing out a bit more, he still looked the same. “Do you remember what happened?” Y/n shook her head, all she remembered was the argument. “Someone put a bomb in the trunk of the car, it went off, and it destroyed the car. Luckily you and James were alright, but a part of the scrap metal sliced mostly through his arm, so doctors had to make a choice.” 

Y/n sat there only thinking of what Bucky was gonna do when he woke up, the car he’d put so much work into was now scrap metal, and said the car also was the reason his arm was amputated. “Is there anything else?” 

Winnifred shook her head. “We’ll find out when he wakes up.”

Y/n had been released from the hospital two days after waking up, all she wanted to do was stay there with Bucky. Andy had been taking care of business while she’s been gone, and continued to do so, for the past two weeks, while she waited with concern, everyone who knew her personally saw this very uncharacteristic thing for her to be doing. The door to Bucky’s room opened behind where she was sitting, she turned around to see who was coming in, and it was Andy. “Hmm?” She hummed as if to ask why he was there. 

“We, Natasha, George and a few others, think it’s best if for a little bit you and James go…somewhere, after he wakes up, I was waiting for him to wake up to tell you, but I think it’s best if you head to the airport after he is released.” He explained all of this to Y/n. 

“Why should we leave? There isn’t a reason to.” She shook her head at him. 

Andy sighed. “Because, you know, whoever put that bomb in the car wasn’t trying to kill James, and you know that, they were actually after you, that would make this the first attack on the head of a family in almost what fourty years. If someone is after you, you need to get out of the states for a bit, you know I’ll call you when I think things are better.”

“I didn’t agree to it.” Y/n stopped him.

“Y/n, you have to see where we are coming from, we what you two safe for a bit, I know you can handle a shoot out and other things but this isn’t like what you have seen already, let me handle it from here, I’ll keep you updated, I’ll send you anything you’ll need to know and if it affects the business, for now do what I’m  telling you.” Andy made sure to show her that he was serious himself. 

“We’ll talk more about this another time.” She told him, Andy nodded before he left the room.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Amy Pond canon-compliant character study (I will rip your heart out just like I did mine)

You are Amy Pond and your best friend is a man who tumbled into your life when you were a child and turned you into the town’s Cassandra, doomed to never be believed, doomed to believe without salvation, and yet your faith in has never wavered, because what would you be without him? You don't remember existing in a world without your god.

You are Amy Pond and you are kind and you have faith until that faith is forcefully broken to save your life. You become Lucy Pevensie, cast out of your kingdom by the only god you have ever believed in, so you choose to build your own kingdom, to make a life out of the wreckage that he left behind.

But that is not enough. It will never be enough. You are not allowed to leave this story. You are not allowed to grow up in a way that matters, because every time you try to choose, every time that you try to build a life of your own, you are dragged back into this story.

You are Amy Pond and this is a horror story, a tragedy, because you were never allowed to make a choice unless that choice is to die. You are not allowed to choose unless it is to kill yourself. You die on Appalappachia. You die in Manhattan. Any time you get to make a decision, death is there, hand outstretched, ready to walk you off the stage.

You are Amy Pond and you are a ghost haunting other people's stories.

You are Amy Pond and you died before you were born.

You are Amy Pond and you are kind even though the world was never kind to you and maybe, just maybe, this would have been a kinder story if you hadn't believed. If you hadn't held faith. If you had let the memory of your imaginary friend slide away.

The world might have ended earlier. The universe might have been worse off. But would you have? Would you have been happier?

The answer doesn't matter in the end. It never did.

Because there's nothing you can do. No other way this story ends.

You are Amy Pond and you do not get to leave. You do not get to change your story. 

You are Amy Pond and you are Amelia Williams and you are Amelia Pond and your story ends as it began: with a girl sitting in a garden, waiting for a man to pick you up and take you to your death.

(Amy Pond and being trapped within the narrative: aka, the question of narrative framing and the consequences of faith.)

Full version of the poem(? Character study?) here:

@twelvesbian @tenmartha @variousqueerthings @spoofymcgee

(Tagging people whose analysises inspired this)

[lilacerull0]

DOCTOR AND AMY + the apple

he was lonely. she wanted the world

The Doctor starts out his journey loving something he will end up hating. An apple -> shown to represent 1) a craving 2) freshness. This instance serves as a suitable metaphor for a perspective of a companion he will inevitably end up leaving. In Amy Pond's final episode her daughter, River Song, advises her to never let (the Doctor) see the damage which can easily be read as an instruction against growing old. Amy is accused of having noticable lines on her eyes in the same episode. This is the episode in which she dies.

Amelia Pond starts out hating something she will end up loving. It is revealed that she, unlike the Doctor, used to hate apples. This was before her mother put faces on them, turning dislike into a symbol of love. Amy is shown to resent the idea of marriage. She is later praised for her role as a wife and a mother.

An apple, craving that is, for the Doctor equals the desire to be adored and never lonely. For Amy, an apple would reflect her wish to be free and see the world. The Doctor ends his run without Amy, his companion and fulfilment of his desire. What he has left is his ability to travel. Amy ends her run stuck in the past, unable to see the stars in a way she was shown possible. Alas, she is married and therefore isn't alone. For this she is crowned The Loving Wife. One could say the narrative implies this is what makes her worthy of being adored, a reason the Doctor lists while explaining why he chose Amy as a companion. Ultimately, both characters are left with the other's wish as though the story had a hard time telling them apart and therefore assigned them the other's ending on accident.

[fanfictionalraven]

Repeats

Title: Repeats

Summary: "I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats." What if the Doctor hadn't made it to the crack in time? What if he had to see the repeats?

Characters: 11th Doctor, Amy Pond, Rory Williams, other canon Who characters

Word Count: 1, 851

Warnings: Grief and loss, brief mentions of war

Author's Note: This story was originally posted by myself on Fanfiction.net under the account drwhogirl10. It was published 2/1/2011.

"I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind…I hate repeats…" The Doctor said to the sleeping child. He rose to his feet and bent over the young Amelia Pond. "Live well…love Rory…" He whispered as he kissed her forehead gently. "Bye bye, Pond…" He finished and began his death march towards the crack. But something happened. He was too slow. In a flash of light, he was back in the TARDIS. Or, what used to be the TARDIS, before he crashed it.

"I don't want to go…" An all too familiar voice cried. The Doctor spun around quickly and found himself watching, well, himself. There he stood in all his former glory. The Doctor took a step toward his old form and stopped. The light was growing stronger. He was about to watch himself change. Oh, how he'd loved that form. Before the process could reach its climax, the bright light engulfed the Doctor and more of his life flew before him.

When it stopped again, the Doctor was in a bedroom. A bedroom that was vaguely familiar. The door of the room flew open and in backed the man who'd claimed the Doctor as a son. He was followed by that same old form. Together, they carried the most important woman in the universe. Donna Noble. They laid her down on the bed and Wilfred kissed her forehead before leaving. After a long pensive pause, the old Doctor followed. The Doctor watched himself leave, then he slowly made his way to the bed. He sat carefully on the edge beside his best friend. He placed his hand over hers and watched her sleeping. She looked at peace. He knew she'd be in pain again someday, but she would live. Donna Noble would live her human life. She'd fall in love and marry a good man. The Doctor glanced at the clock and knew she'd be waking up soon. He stood and took a few steps away from the bed. The bright light began to build from the crack just as Donna sat up. She looked around then down at herself.

"That's brilliant…" She mumbled to herself as she got up from the bed. She picked her phone up and headed for the door. "Oi! What's Venna want now?" She muttered. The Doctor felt this time slipping past.

"Goodbye Donna…" He whispered. Just before the crack took him away, Donna turned and looked around. He smiled. She'd heard him.

The Doctor watched as his times with Donna flew before his eyes. They laughed and cried together. He caught a glimpse of Jenny and felt the hole in his hearts rip yet again.

Time slowed to normal again and the Doctor was in the old TARDIS.

"Cause he never looked at her twice…" A voice echoed through the console room. The Doctor looked up quickly to find the old form, eyes averted, being scolded by Martha Jones. "I mean he liked her…but that was it…" The Doctor knew what name was playing through his old head. It was hard to keep that name out even now. But he'd see her soon enough. Right now was Martha's turn. "And she wasted years pining after him, years or her life…cause while he was around she never looked at anyone else…" She was letting his old self have it. And honestly, he knew he'd deserved it. She'd loved him, really loved him, and he let her fall by the wayside. "And I told her, I always said to her time and time again…I said…Get. Out. So this is me…getting out…" Martha finished with a shrug. She tossed her phone to him, smiled her lovely smile, and was out the door.

Time began to race again and the Doctor watched with sadness. He watched as the Master died and didn't regenerate. He watched his time as John Smith fly by, as he fell in love with Nurse Joan.

Time stopped. The Doctor looked around. It was cold. Too cold. And eerie. As the Doctor began to fiddle with his jacket, he heard it.

"I love you!" A voice wept. The Doctor froze. He hadn't thought to cheek his surroundings. He looked up slowly. Darlig Ulv Straden. Bad Wolf Bay.

"Quite right too…and I suppose…if it's my last chance to say it…" The old Doctor began. The Doctor wanted to look away. He'd relived this moment too many times. But no. He was frozen, his eyes glued to the waiting young woman. "Rose Tyler…" And he was gone. The Doctor had imagined Rose's reaction, but it hurt far worse to see it.

She stood, waiting with bated breath. As the realization finally set in, she began to cry. Violent sobs erupted from her frail frame. The Doctor fought every fiber of his being not to run to her. Besides, he'd grown too weak. Time's unraveling had left him with little energy. As Rose turned and Jackie began to run to her, the Doctor felt this time slipping away as well. He closed his eyes. He wasn't reliving those moments.

"My Doctor…" The Doctor heard a voice echo with power. His eyes flew open. There she was again. The Bad Wolf herself. In all her shining glory. He watched as Rose caused the Daleks to turn to dust. The entire Dalek fleet, disintegrated by the wave of her hand. "I bring life…" She said. The Doctor understood now. Somewhere, Captain Jack Harkness was breathing again. The Doctor watched this older form. So tortured, so alone. He blamed himself for what was happening to Rose. "I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be," Did she see all this? All that had happened to them? Did she know how it would all end? Her eyes fixed momentarily on the Doctor and then softened. She could see him! The old Doctor stood up quickly. "My head…" He took both of Rose's hands in his.

"Come here…" He told her. His Rose was hurting, dying, and he knew how to fix it.

"Is killing me…" Rose whimpered weakly.

"I think you need a doctor…" He said. The Doctor watched as his old self pulled Rose to himself and gently pressed his lips to hers. The Doctor almost laughed now. Sure there were other ways to remove the time vortex from Rose's head, but none were this enjoyable. The Doctor looked over and saw the crack. It appeared to be growing.

"No…that's all wrong…you should be closing…" The Doctor said, stepping towards the crack. He felt as if something was pulling him away from it though. He glanced over his shoulder, but nothing was there. The bright light encompassed him yet again and he heard a blood curdling scream. The Doctor looked around once he'd stopped and immediately knew where he was.

The sky was blood red. A city that once stood tall and proud, now lay crumbled on the ground. People ran by him in panic, but not just any people. Time Lords. And this wasn't just any planet. It was home. It was Gallifrey. A Dalek ship flew overhead and shot at the ground. The Doctor ducked and ran for cover. He found a large rock formation and hid underneath it.

"Who keeps picking these blasted memories?" He asked aloud. He closed his eyes tight. He'd watched his people die once. He wasn't' about to do it again.

"I remember…" He heard a voice whisper. It sounded far off and was almost completely drowned out by the sounds of the Time War. The Doctor opened his eyes.

"Amy?" He called out. He saw the crack, straight ahead. If he could just make it, this would all be over. The Doctor burst from his rock and began to run for the crack. He slowed as he realized something. The crack wasn't only getting bigger, but it was splintering. Dozens of small cracks were shooting out from it. The Doctor stopped.

"Raggedy Man, I remember you…" Amy's voice rang. The Doctor spun around wildly then stopped and smiled. "And you are late for my wedding!" Amy's voice now shouted, bordering triumph and annoyance.

She'd done it.

Time began to fly back by the Doctor., in the right order this time. The Time War ended. He met Rose. He regenerated. Lost Rose. Meet Donna. Meet Martha. Lost the Master. Lost Martha. Found Donna again. Lost his daughter. Got Rose back. Gave his clone to Rose. Lost Donna. Fought the Master and all of Gallifrey. Regenerated again. Meet Amelia. So much sadness in his life but always surrounded by the happiness.

Before the Doctor knew it, he was back in the TARDIS, his TARDIS. He began to flip the switches and turn the knobs. He heard Rory faintly ask Amy something.

"Something old…" She said. The Doctor smiled and raced down the hall. He had a wedding to get ready for. "Something new…" Amy continued. The Doctor laughed as he reached the wardrobe room. He quickly pulled his old tuxedo off one of the racks and began to change as fast as he could. "Something borrowed…" She said. Amy's voice was growing stronger. Almost there. The Doctor looked in the mirror but something was wrong.

"Needs a fez…" He mumbled to himself. He looked around but couldn't find his new favorite accessory. He grabbed a top hat and popped it on his head. The Doctor smiled widely and ran for the console room.

"Something blue…" Amy finished, her voice thick with emotion. The Doctor could hear the TARDIS landing.

"It's the Doctor…" Rory said, a bit stunned. The TARDIS landed completely just as the Doctor turned another corner. "How did we forget the Doctor?" The Doctor could hear Rory ask. He smiled even wider and quickened his pace. It was only a moment before there was a pounding at the door.

"Okay Doctor…did I surprise you this time?" Amy asked just as the Doctor ran through the console room. He stopped at the door, took a deep breath, and pulled it open. He looked Amy up and down in her wedding dress and couldn't hide his surprise.

"Uh yea…completely astonished…never expected that…" He said. Amy smiled and the Doctor went to step out past her. "How lucky I happened to be wearing this old thing!" He exclaimed, straightening out the jacket of his tuxedo. "Hello everyone! I'm Amy's imaginary friend…" The Doctor said, walking over to the large table at the front of the room. "But I came anyway…" He finished, shaking Mr. Pond's hand and smiling widely.

[layaboutace]

not review but ranting about how bad LKH is as well as some other grievances i have with moffats writing and priorities. so we are suddenly introduced to amy and Rory's best friend who has never appeared or been mentioned until now, and we get a series of flashbacks showing mels and Amy's friendship throughout the years. ok. I don't care about her. she didn't exist before this episode and clearly was not planned from the start and was haphazardly inserted. not only that but its been 3 months and everyone is so calm about melody disappearing??? and when its revealed mels is melody they just sit down and like, take it in without panic??? and they don't even kill hitler??? like he has nothing to do with it??? honestly amy and rory just having no reaction to the 3 month jump and the mels/melody/river reveal, or the doctor dying for that matter! and thats my biggest problem with moffat as a writer, his characters often stop being characters to be plot devices. the story moves on without letting the characters reflect on what happened, or even change as a person, watching past LKH amy and rory are the same people they were before amys daughter melted before her eyes, the same after rory heard the older amy die after the doctor lied to him about saving her, after amy saw an older rory die in the tardis, after the doctor lies time after time they don't change once. honestly the best character in this episode is river, who i often find kinda annoying, shes at her best here, causing chaos without a care in the world, excitable and youthful. but like, imagine if we saw her at least once before this episode. imagine if in the eleventh hour instead of following the doctor as he leaves ameila we see amelia grow up in rapid succession with scenes of rory and mels, maybe even her aunt, giving hints to her family being taken by the crack episodes before the reveal thats what the crack does. i actually don't know if moffat wanted amys family to be a mystery, if he did then its a very poorly set up mystery, but considering this is the guy behind BBC sherlock im not surprised, anyways, imagine seeing amy all grown getting dressed in her Police outfit when the tardis lands, the sound altering something deep inside her but mostly ignoring it until she hears someone in her house, we only see him from behind until amy knocks him out, and as she sees his face, familiarity dawns on her. of course the best thing this alternate opening would do is delete the scene where the doctor looks at adult amy for the first time starting from her legs to her face, but also would set up mels as someone that at least exists, maybe a few other mentions throughout the series. tho I'll give credit where its due, river song is a clever name in relationship to melody pond, something so obvious yet i wouldn't think it, a proper mystery, even if it was only for an episode, even if the reveal of her being their daughter was something that wasn't very solvable I don't think it was meant to be.

[expectiations]

I find it amusing and rather sad for them when I see people hating on Amy because "she was nothing but abusive to her boyfriend". Humans are messy. "The other companions were human too and she had no excuse for abusing her boyfriend like that."

deep breaths

The other companions did not go through what Amelia Pond went through. The other companions didn't have their family sucked into a crack in their bedroom wall. The other companions didn't grow up without any family members, alone in a great big empty house. The other companions didn't spend YEARS ostracized and labelled crazy for believing in The Doctor, Amelia's Raggedy Man. The other companions didn't have Missy as their psychiatrist. The other companions had family, had a home, had a unit they could fall back on. The other companions didn't get kidnapped by a cult intent on killing the Doctor, spent the entire period of their pregnancy unconscious, had their newborn daughter kidnapped, raised to be a killer, most likely been experimented on.

You never get over the loss of a child.

"A fucked up childhood does not excuse her abuse."

And who's excusing her abuse? Oh my fucking I need to calm down. Some one sedate me.

[dontbelasagne]

what irks me about series 7b Eleven expressing their affection for Clara through flirting and "boyish" charm is that from the onset of their era, i always got the impression that Elevens Doctor was meant to be almost like a bedtime tale meant to make you feel safe at night. This bumbling individual, juxtaposed against their ancient age meant to comfort and appeal to the whimsy of your childhood. every connotation given to Eleven from madman, to imaginary friend, set their stories up to have the escapism of dreams, and bring the possibility of your wishes coming true. Eleven told us all to "believe" in their first episode, and that's what defined them, to accept what we yearned as children to be possible before reality caught up on us.

although this can be put down to us being introduced to Eleven through the eyes of Amy, especially that of child Amelia (like a name out of a fairytale being one of the first things Eleven says already giving us that impression of their incarnation), I'd argue there is consistent characterisation of Eleven that follows this personality even without the presence of Amy to act against. This incarnation of the Doctor became defined by the whole trope of "an old being wanting to be reminded of the universes wonder through the eyes of those younger", made it poignant that however close he got to you there was still that detachment from being outside the realm of human-known reality. the surrealism of Eleven didnt come from themselves, but how they framed the adventure in space and time that you were taken on. you didnt need your stories and daydreams anymore, because Eleven brought them to you, which is why Amy's line about getting dropped off "like they had just shared a cab" is so revealing to what Eleven fears. that the illusion of the fairytale adventure would break the moment their companions got hurt, that no matter how "fast" they ran the reality of their life as a timelord and the choices they make to take companions with them would come full circle.

this made it even more pronounced and visceral whenever Eleven chose to follow their anger or frustration. the illusion shattered and we followed this realisation alongside Amy. Eleven admits "im not a hero" - that came to save the child you never were able to protect yourself as you grew up, they were just another being with their own traumas but had access to that allure of zany grandeur with the universe. this isn't to say that Eleven should have ended up as only being melancholic and aloof (which came to be somewhat explored with Twelve anyway), but that it mirrors a lot of progression made within familial bonds and platonic relations. the haze of childhood as this era of untainted joy and escapism that eventually grows to the realisation of accepting hardship and responsibility is what I'd argue series 5, 6, and 7a represent. we learn the effects of our behaviour and how we cant always rely on a fairytale to save us. sure series 7a started off a bit wonky, but Eleven losing The Ponds was exactly that. a violent realisation that no matter what, you cant ignore the environment you bring vulnerable people into. Eleven was heavily painted in the identity of a familial caregiver, an individual who hid their grief in the hope of consistently giving meaningful time to make a family they found happy. they "ran to" their family before reality caught up and The Ponds eventually "fade". Eleven is a story you find to remind yourself of how achingly beautiful it is to view life through the lens of a childhood fantasy nearing its end.

whilst it is clear that series 7b marks a change for Eleven, most explicitly shown through the TARDIS console room becoming a much more machine-like, clean interface, it doesnt explain the decision to progress the character in that direction with the relationship style that forms with Clara. Whilst Eleven was intimate and flirtatious with River Song and other notable figures throughout their era, it always came off as a deliberate act of that specific relationship and not their personality overall. Eleven is seen to be almost ace-coded at times and had the attitude of being "worse than everybody's aunt" in view of anything they saw as crude, which furthered their image of a parent or carer like figure. being a sex positive ace myself, i can understand that sexual identity can be represented in a number of ways, and considering Doctor Who as a show wouldn't prioritise this perception of the character, it still gave a jarring progression to suddenly have Eleven who represented childlike whimsy and surrealist dreams act like they were an ordinary man being suggestive with what was essentially a stranger. this isn't to say that the dynamic or depictions are textually wrong, but given the heightened sense of fantastical guide that came with Elevens perception of their own vast age, it was an obscure character dynamic to pick.

lastly, i just wanted to say that there are explorations of this dynamic post series 7b, in particular with Vastra's line "who do you think that was for" in reference to Elevens young face and attitude towards Clara, and also during the series with Eleven hiding their search for answers to the impossible girl mystery that Missy instigated through getting Clara to trust them. but in doing so, we missed out on what Eleven could evolve from in their characterisation of a childlike dream come true. we could have had a series post-Ponds that explored the dissonance of growing older and who sees their dreams and fantasies in a more mature light. this could have set up Eleven as being more wary of their actions, but still in conflict with their pursuit of sharing the universes secrets. an Eleven trying to hold onto everything they saw as precious, whilst haunted by the possibility of this being their last incarnation.

But what did we get? Eleven making sexist comments and acting inappropriate. :/

[beezonia]

Doctor Who - Companions pokèmon teams!

So this is a little something that’s been floating around my head for a bit! If you guys like this then I may do some more (maybe the doctors too!)

Feel free to disagree with me! Honestly I’m just doing this for fun. I’d love to hear your opinions!

—————-

Sarah Jane Smith - Type - Ghost/Steel (not accurate in the team really but if I had to chose two specific types for her then I’d choose these!)

Her team would consist of

Cofagrigus

Aegislash (Blade forme)

Dragapult

Sawsbuck

Dachsbun

Maybe a Gothitelle or a Golurk to finish it of.

The reason I feel Sarah would vibe with Ghost types mainly is because she’s gone through a lot, she’s experienced a lot of loss and ghost types would be the best to help her get through that.

I chose steel because she’s extremely sturdy herself and like steel types she’s extremely strong and not afraid to fight when it’s needed. With steel types she has the power and ghost types would allow her to connect with people she never knew in her life!

I feel like cofagrigus would be her main due to it being a somewhat guide to her. Even though he doesn’t really like people coming near him he lets Sarah because he trusts her.

She names him Eddie after her dad, and he’s very protective of the girl he’s know since he was a yamask.

(I mean honestly sarah could also be a steel or psychic type trainer if you wanted her to be)

———-

Peri Brown - Type - Fairy/grass (not her main type though)

Peri’s team would consist of

Florges

Whimsicott

Shiinotic

Pansage

Lurantis

Lilligant

I thought Peri would like grass and fairy types cause they match her style I think! I also feel like she’d love Florges for some reason idk why. Peri is very sweet but also slightly naive, fairy types are somewhat the same but are as equally powerful like peri!

Her florges, Diona has been with her since she was a flababè, peri had formed a very familial bond with the small pokèmon! She’s Peri’s main pokèmon too and probably her strongest in the team.

As Peri grows stronger so does Diona, and her other pokèmon become a very powerful team.

Lurantis definitely fits with Peri due to its elegance, I feel like peri loved how it carried itself and wanted it!

(I just feel the peri would bond with fairy types very well! Or maybe bug types but I’m not sure about)

————

Martha Jones - Type - Grass/Ice

Martha’s team consists of

Serperior

Sceptile

Leafeon

Abombasnow

Cetitan

Castaform - (snowy form)

Martha would definitely like ice and grass types, they both represent her dedication to helping and continuously proving her strength as she grows. Ice types are a connection to her work with unit and her strength whilst the grass types represent her kindness and the doctor part of her job!

Her main is Serperior who she’s had since she was little and it was a snivy, like Martha it’s somewhat cunning and very smart. They both aren’t afraid to stand up against things they don’t think is right and that’s why they bonded.

Martha’s Castaform helps her with her doctor stuff along with her leafeon who allows patients to become more calmer and comfortable when she’s checking on them.

(I also feel like Martha could be a water or fighting type trainer too but I liked the idea of her with a serperior)

———-

Amelia Pond - Type - Electric/Fighting

Amy’s team consists of

Hariyama

Meinshao

Pawmot

Ampharos

Boltund

Pachirisu

ONE THING IK AMY WOULD DO IS BOND WITH ELECTRIC TYPES EASILY!

Most certainly does she look at yamper and go yeah that’s my best bud, electric types match Amy’s craziness and freedom I like to think.

Fighting types represent her fighting spirit and of course Amy does not go down without a fight.

Her main two are her Hariyama and her Boltund due to them having an extremely close bond with each other cause they were the first pokèmon Amy took under her wing before the rest!

Her pawmot and pacharisu are best friends and get up to all sorts of mischief along with Amy!

(I do think that Amy could also be electric/dark type but I liked the idea of having the fighting types with the electric instead)

————-

THATS ALL FOR THIS POST LMK IF YOUD LIKE MORE OR IF YOU WANT ME TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS AU!!

Or final thing if you wanna discuss types with me don’t hesitate to comment!

[quietwingsinthesky]

little amelia pond with her missing tooth and mels with at least one band-aid always stuck on her somewhere and rory following them both around with his first aid kit, the one the doctor gave him after seeing the child one that he had before that was more toy than anything

[thxta]

𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬 𝑫𝑰𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑺

Ended the Time War by detonating the sentient Time Lord weapon, the Moment. (Day of the Doctor does not happen) He kills the Daleks and their allies, but also destroys Gallifrey and his entire race. His punishment is to be the only survivor of the Time War.

The Master escapes and hides by turning himself into a human, who later regenerates. He is not killed by his companion, Lucy, after the Year That Never Was. Instead, he kills her shortly after the Toclafane descend. The Doctor takes him prisoner in the TARDIS, and slowly tries to rehabilitate him. (Utopia, Sound of Drums, Last of the Time Lords) He fails miserably by getting too close, and the Master escapes.

Season 4 is mostly canon up to Stolen Earth / Journey's End. He never has romantic feelings for Rose. He takes the Metacrisis Doctor with him. The Doctor gives him a piece of TARDIS coral that he can grow into his own TARDIS. They travel together for months while waiting for the Metacrisis' TARDIS to grow. They part ways, which Theta later regrets.

After a rough battle with the Daleks that leaves him near regeneration, his TARDIS crashes into little Amelia Pond's backyard and must regenerate itself from the inside out. (Eleventh Hour) He doesn't need to regenerate, but his brown pinstriped suit is ruined. Amy still ends up calling him the Raggedy Doctor and still waits years for him.

Has traveled with Amy, Rory and River, but is not romantically involved with River. They were all his best friends. He suffered a mental breakdown after losing Amy and Rory to the Weeping Angels. This is where he began to call himself Theta.

He doesn't meet Clara, and diverges entirely from canon after this point.

[sebastianstansqueen]

Peace

A/N: I when onto tiktok for like five seconds and this popped up on my FYP and I decided I was going to write it, tell me what you think, i hope you all like it, feedback is always appreciated, if you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.  

Wordcount:  1,096

Warnings: Arranged marriage, angst, mentions of grooming, Thor being a dick, and mentions of blood, I think that's it let me know if I'm missing anything.

Masterlist //  Tagglists

Taglist: @cherryblossomsky - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond - @leyannrae - @avengerlex - @pineprincess -@nik2writes - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel

Peace, that's all that really mattered, to you, your father, mother, and him. That's what this is for, that is why you stood in a room at the church pacing, out of fear or because of how un-sure you were of this working. You loved your family, and knew surely that James Barnes couldn’t be that bad of a husband. The biggest deal was that James' family was your fathers rivals, and this would bring peace like all of you wanted finally.

Soon enough you walked down the aisle with your father, James’ blue piercing eyes stared at you, his dark brown hair slicked back, every intricate detail perfect on him, you and around the room. That was the day you were sure your life would have changed forever. 

You and James didn’t really mind one another, both of you were married, and you both understood that you and he had very different days. You'd get up, get Coffee, and then go to the in-home gym, and you wouldn't see much of James until dinner. 

Bucky, he would wake up with the sun, much earlier than you, he could admire your beauty for a few moments before getting up and heading for his in home gym before he took a shower and ate breakfast then he usually had business to attend to till dinner in which is where both of you would end your day with small conversation. 

The two of you didn’t know each other well. This marriage was business after all, but both of you had an already underlying love, and care for one another. But you both just sit and stir and sit there. 

One morning you decided to get out, it wasn’t like you couldn’t leave the house, you got into your car, and went to a small coffee shop, then to a random gym. When you were done, you got to your car opening the door, when you were stopped by Thor. “What the hell are you doing?” You asked, you hadn’t seen him since before the wedding day, he was your old bodyguard. 

“Look I couldn’t do this then and definitely shouldn’t do it now, but Y/n.” He cut himself off by kissing you. “I love you.” 

You shook your head, you and Thor had a friendship that all you ever saw it as, you never had romantic feelings for him. “I-I can’t- I don’t.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on!” He yelled. “Y/n, I spoiled you, I gave you almost anything any time you wanted, I didn’t just protect you, I cared about you, I gave you all of it so you’d grow to love me.”

A face of disgust washed over your face. Thor was ten years older than you and he became your body guard when you were ten, you realized all the trips to amusement parks, and diamond necklaces from out of nowhere were all sinister for him.“Oh my god, you’ve known me since I was a kid!” You yelled. 

“Let's not do this out here.” Thor tsked, as he went to grab your arm and pull you away. 

You pulled away. “No get the hell away from me Thor!” You fight back by getting away from him. “You basically groomed me!” 

“Oh! Don’t call it that!” He hissed, rolling his eyes. “Come on Y/n, don’t act like you care for Barnes.”

“He’s still my god damn husband, and he hasn’t done anything as fucked as that!” You fought back, you rushed to get into your car, rushing as you drove away, tears rolled down your cheeks, you tried viciously to wipe away your tears before you got home.

You pulled into the garage, and found Bucky with most of his men. “Shit.” You hissed to yourself as you wiped away to clear your tears, you came up with something to say, you grabbed your purse and gym bag. You opened the door and got out, trying to get by without being noticed, James noticed though, he followed you through the door back into the house. 

“Y/n, are you okay?” He asked, as you kicked off your shoes in the mudroom. 

You nodded. “Yeah, i-it’s just a headache, I’ll take some medicine and then be fine.” You shrugged off, about to walk away. 

“What’s actually wrong?”  He asked following you. “Don’t lie to me this time.” 

You sighed. “It’s nothing.” 

Bucky sighed at your passiveness. “Come on, what happened? Y/n, if someone hurt you I should know.” 

“I wasn’t hurt physically, it’s just my old body guard, he probably followed me when I left, and then he talked to me after I went to my car, and he kissed me-”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Bucky growled out. 

You shook your head. “Don’t start shit by killing him, my parents are coming tomorrow for dinner, talk to my dad then and he’ll deal with it.”

Bucky sighed out. “Fine, I’ll wait, we’re leaving for something, I’ll be back later.” Is all he said before leaving. 

The next night you waited, with your family for Bucky, this wasn’t looking good. “Does he do this often?” Your dad asked, you could hear the irritation in his voice. 

You shook your head. “No, he’s always on time. I don’t know where he would be.” 

Your dad tsked. “If he is fucking around and just expecting you to sit around I’ll pull you out of this marrage.”  You shook your head in exchange for saying no.  

Then the dining room doors opened. “Sorry I’m late.” James spoke, sitting at the head of the table, as he began to eat his stake. Blood was splattered on his face but his suit seems to be fine and pristine, not a drip on it. 

“Give us a moment.” You said to excuse yourself and your husband, you both headed to the kitchen wearing down a rag to wipe away the blood on his face. “What the hell did you do?” 

He shrugged then mumbled. “He touched what’s mine.” 

Your brows furrowed barely understanding what he said. “What?”

“He touched. My. Wife.” He stated, now loud and clear. “He wasn’t going to just get away with it.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Bucky.” You sighed. “You don’t own me.” 

“I know I don’t but you own me, and I will do this over and over until all of New York knows not to fuck with James Barnes’ queen.” He spoke softly, before pulling you into a soft kiss. “Let's go have dinner, I'm sure your parents have questions.” 

[goldenkid]

SO. part 2 <3

so the three of them try to muck on together defeating some aliens but it is NOT working. amy and rory talk and rory sets a boundary (woo!). he came onto the tardis because he loves amy but also because he really really didn't want to lose her and he could sense her slipping through his fingers (she always has been) and he would chase her to the ends of the earth. but he had always, rather short-sightedly and a little dismissively, assumed that amy would settle down and acclimatise to normal life and not always be half pulling away. now he has realised that she would quite literally run forever, anywhere, and that maybe she does love him back but she is never going to choose him, or be able to choose him, at least not right now.

so they break off their romantic relationship and he plans to go home after the trip. but then he actually gets involved and does some caring, some nursing - probably after the doctor does something flashy to save the day and is ready to hop in the tardis again but rory goes wait, hold up, and actually helps out the people left behind. he stays for the aftermath and amy and the doctor just stand there like oh. hm. the human element. and rory decides to stay on the tardis, not out of a love for travelling but because he sees that he can help people here. that there is a lot of work that needs to be done.

and over the episodes, the doctor starts to remember his conscience and sees that this insane faith that amy has in him is not good. amy and rory's relationship develops, they go through such intense situations together with all the danger as they travel and amy finds herself, to her own surprise, often turning to rory and not the doctor. and her and rory actually talk a bit, and sometimes amy doesn't skip over the heavy stuff, doesn't brush it aside in favour of flirting and fancy and fun.

but at the same time she feels like she can't lose the doctor, this person she's been waiting her whole life for, who helped shape her identity. she can't lose out on this beautiful world, this freedom and escape and wild intense closeness that she's been longing for her whole life. and at the end of the series, in amy's god complex moment, the doctor realises that amy is never going to be able to let him go, that unless he really properly talks to her (i had lost so many people and i didn't want to feel anymore and i wanted to be distracted and to not care and i was cruel. i used you and i ruined your childhood and i was cruel. and you deserve better. you deserve a real life.) she will always stay with him and even if it doesn't get her killed, it will ruin her life. so the god complex happens, and he breaks her faith in him.

and amy is forced, finally, to stop being a child.

and maybe this would break her, this final loss, the greatest one of all. but she doesn't just stop being a child: right there, in that moment, amelia pond grows up.

she turns away from the doctor and she turns to rory. (and here, unlike in canon, amy leaving the doctor and going to rory is less about her being given, about her accepting the role of wife, but about who she chooses. rory and the doctor are both so important to her story but she is the main character here, it is her emotional arc that this serves.)

so amy and rory leave the tardis, and this is the end of the series. and then in season seven, intermingled with the introduction of clara, amy and rory come back for the occasional adventure to show the end of amy's character arc. the two of them are back together, not engaged yet. they've moved to london, amy is a travel writer and rory is a nurse. they have a blue house and a red car and friends, emails and bank accounts and stacks of books on their bedside table.

amy and the doctor's relationship has mellowed out into close, old best friends (as in i've known you for my whole life, we go way back, we were super close as kids, we used to play together, and now we're adults and we only see each other once a year but we're still close and we click back into our old rhythm except it's different, better, because we've grown and changed, and we have so much to update each other on and so many stories to tell each other because our lives aren't painfully tightly intertwined anymore)

and the final beat of the whole story is amy proposing to rory. this time she chooses him, she commits, and she is so happy and joyful about the adult life that they are leading together. and the doctor promises to come back for christmas, but both him and amy sort of know that he is not going to keep that promise - they can see it in each other's eyes; they still know each other so well - because amy has grown up, but the doctor can never really grow up. he has opened up his hearts again, relearned his humanity, but he can never lead the sort of life that they lead. they hug so tightly, and he starts to make a promise to come back, but then he stops. and amy says, it's okay. it's okay, i promise. and then, i'll see you when i see you. tell the stars i said hi. (because you have to grow up but you don't have to lose that magic spark of childhood. and because that's such a cheesy doctor who line.) and they smile, happy and sad at the same time, and the doctor goes. amy listens to the whooshing of the tardis, and then she closes the door.

re my eleven + amy post i reblogged earlier... maybe i have just a couple thoughts on an alternate amy + eleven storyline

putting a readmore because erm. well. apparently i had a fair few thoughts.

like the doctor crashes in and ruins her childhood and twists her identity to be shaped around him or the absence of him, the absence of everyone who should have been there. (e.g. her parents). except i think i'd remove the crack in the wall storyline - so maybe amy's parents just died when she was young in some alien-related incident

and so she's cycled through therapists and angry and lonely and noncompliant her whole childhood, stubbornly believing in her imaginary friend. and then she gets together with rory and maybe is more stable BUT she's bad at commitment and flighty and still clinging on to the idea of the doctor because her aunt always lied to her and therapists always lied to her but he was there and he told the truth. he was like her parents (aka a good adult) but also a child like her and also a mirror of her (he has an adult's body but he never grew up) and unlike her parents he promised to come back. five minutes. he said five minutes. she can't let go.

so eleventh hour happens. no kissogram. and then he is there and he saves the world and she was proved right and he leaves again, and this time she thinks maybe she can get over him - he was real, she is an adult now and she can see his flaws (that's a lie. he's even better now that he's real and he saved the world. she was dazzled.) and she is over it. he's gone, she can grow up, she can be with rory and live in leadworth and be an adult.

she tells herself she's angry at him for leaving again, but really her anger burnt out as soon as he handed her that apple. because he is magic and she was never really angry, because everyone she has ever loved has left. and all she knows how to do is hold onto things (she never leaves leadworth because she is waiting for him. because she can't let go of him and she can't let go of childhood). all she can do is be left and all she can do in return is follow the only pattern she knows with the only person who has ever not left: she can't commit to rory.

and when the doctor does come back, she follows the pattern. she leaves. all her life she has been stuck on the wrong side of the looking glass, with lovely magical people disappearing and leaving her in leadworth. forcing her to grow up (frying bacon for the doctor in that big empty house). as retaliation she refuses to grow up, tries to live in a warped version of the magical world of childhood. and then, of course, when the doctor comes to call and says 'come with me', she seizes the chance to be on the right side of the glass, in the world of childhood and magic and fairytale. finally she is the one who leaves, who flies off to the promised land (did anyone ever, well-meaning, tell her that her parents went to a better place?). and she doesn't even think that she is doing something cruel to rory because this is just the way the world is. she assumes that he would jump at the chance to leave too if he could because she can't conceptualise the idea that not everyone is desperate to leave, to escape, to be a child again. she assumes that rory is going to leave her and the only way she can make her peace with that is by leaving first.

and of course none of this is looking at the doctor himself, and how he has hidden away in whimsy and childhood, fantasy and fairytale - including the casual cruelty of childhood, leaving amy because he can't commit to anything, won't be anything real to anyone because he can't bear it after the bleeding-heart life his previous incarnation led. his and amy's story is almost a retelling of peter pan.

so amy and the doctor go off travelling together and they are beautiful and codependent and horrible together, and sometimes they are wonderful forces for good and enjoying seeing the wonder of the universe together, and other times they cause more carnage than they solve and then skip off again in their magic box and neither one of them gives it a second thought (amy because she never grew out of her childhood vision of morality, the doctor because he is ignoring the weight of his conscience. they did call him the one who forgets, after all)

and sometimes they're harsh to each other and shout and push each other to the limit because that's what needs to be done in the moment to save the world, and it's the only way amy knows how to love and the only way the doctor can love without getting hurt again

and i think they would carry on cavorting together, until. until amy decides that she wants to save her parents. and maybe she has been holding this one under her tongue for a while until they reach this insane level of intimacy where they have almost become extensions of each other, and then she says it and he would usually say no, no way, but she asks right off the back of a dangerous adventure and they're so close that they might as well be one, and he says yes.

so they go back to amy's parents' death and aliens are involved and they solve the mystery and it's all going so well and they're about to save amy's parents and then--

and then the doctor takes a step back, pulls amy away, lets them die through inaction, and amy screams and rages and demands that he takes her back and they do it again, and now and only now the doctor explains everything about paradoxes and personal timelines and how it was always impossible. and amy says why did you say yes then, why did you bring me and the doctor says, to make you happy. and of course she never would have been happy at the end of it, and the doctor knew this, and amy realises that their cold callous childlike no-consequences way of cavorting about the universe can be turned inwards and used to hurt her, and she realises that they have hurt many other people around the universe in similar ways, and she is horrified. and she tells the doctor to take her home, take her back to rory. all she wants is to be with rory, to feel his steady warm stable love. she realises the coldness and the horror of this way of life as well as the wonder and the beauty, of running and the never getting attached and this harsh, always on the verge of leaving way of loving, despite the heights of closeness they can achieve.

the doctor takes her home. this would be the episode after the one with amy's parents: the doctor sulks off on his own, deciding to leave amy and not come back, BUT he keeps getting distracted by alien clues around leadworth and putting off leaving. meanwhile, amy returns to rory and it's the morning of their wedding and she's a mess. and rory, who thought she'd put everything with the doctor behind her since prisoner zero two years ago, is flabberghasted but quickly catches up to speed and realises what's been going on. and, because he really does love amy - and maybe, in the moment despite his anger, because he can't bear to see her in pain. becuase he is a nurse and right now, he is what the doctor should be (someone who cannot turn away from a crying child) - he doesn't leave her.

he stays, and comforts her, and amy realises that she does truly love rory and that she was wrong to leave him, and that she was hurting him in the same way that she has been hurt so many times herself. but she doesn't quite get the whole picture, because then her solution is to say to rory: come with us, then! because she can't conceptualise the fact that rory actually wants to be an adult, and live a stable life - so her solution is to bring him with her onto the other side of the looking glass.

and the doctor mooches around leadworth and all his alien clues come to nothing (maybe they're foreshadowing for whatever the big alien threat of the season finale is), and he goes back to amy's to at least say goodbye, and she pulls her finace out by the hand and says she is bringing him with her. and also that he will make her Good. he is gonna fix her - he is gonna fix both of them (poor rory)

and the doctor, even though his new thing is being callous and not getting attached, can't bear to say no to amy because he loves her really, and so off they all go into the tardis.

so they have an adventure together and it's a really, really weird dynamic. the doctor is trying to be better and has realised he really cares for amy and that pushing down all this care is making him a bad person - he also got a bit of a shock at what he did re amy's parents - but he also can't quite bring himself to open up his hearts, so him and amy are discordant and haven't figured out their new dynamic and both of them are grieving thinking they've lost the other.

and it also quickly becomes apparent that amy and rory's romantic relationship is on the rocks.

I'M GONNA CONTINUE THIS IN A REBLOG because ummmm i just realised how insanely long it is. i care about doctor who a normal amount (huge huge lie <333)

[lilacerull0]

it's her fucking name and it's a literal device functioning as a wall of phrases separating her from the world, from actively participating in it... she's amy pond, mad & impossible & the girl who waited & the girl who didn't make sense, AMELIA POND ("that was a great name") dreadfully specific ill-fitting titles crafted to make an illusion of Importance when they're only there to keep her away from her physical self, to indicate how to grow older is to Lose Importance. minutes after they highlight her need for reading glasses and the inadmissible wrinkles around her eyes she's kicked out, but... they can't kick her out of the story, she IS the story. you wanted to make her mythical, you wanted to keep her locked up in your paintings and your stories, to be admired from afar, and yeah sure! art won't let her grow old, but guess what? you're never gonna get rid of her either.