#Nemesis book 2
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pallas + giftgiving ❤️
#including not one but TWO instances of stealing stuff from calliope they’re so unserious#i didn’t even notice i’d done that twice until reading through to make this post but i think i should keep it that’s actually so funny 2 me#pallas why r you stealing shit from the person you’re obsessed with in a nemesis way to give to#the girl you’re obsessed with in a besties way what is WRONG with you#<— i bully but this post exists because i got overwhelmed with affection for them#bc like. they’re trying SO HARD they don’t know how to care in a way that isn’t destructive but they’re TRYING#and they do care they care so much they just don’t know how to express it and they don’t! want! to hurt her!#they believe that they will eventually but they don’t WANT to!!!!!#pallas outwardly: gives agnes a littol present#pallas inwardly: i would tear my heart still beating from my ribcage if it meant keeping you safe#they are NOT self aware about this though whenever they do something nice for agnes or anyone else their narration is just like#‘wow so weird that i did that moVING ON’ we don’t gain the ability to self reflect until book 2#wip: ghost story#pallas#creme does a writing
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Wait I saw that Rhysand Clone #28387372 Xaden dies at the end of the new Dragon Tiktok Book can anyone confirm if this is true or not because honestly I don't expect it to be true but if it somehow is then props to the author for doing one of the funniest things ever
#iron flame#fourth wing#im sorry if this is kinda mean but tbh rhysand is my nemesis and so because i saw fanart before knowing ANYTHING about the hook#i havent actually read fourth wing#like i already make myself suffer thru acotar i am NOT reading another book with rhysand in it#but if he dies in book 2 im honestly willing to give it a second chance
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i was originally looking for something completely different but huh. all the way back in s1 when they originally picked up yorick('s tooth), john described it as "it doesn’t want to do anything, it has to help, and i don’t know why." inch resting.
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#actually reading back thru this whole discussion on vanguards is interesting#john's very clear on the points that vanguards are 1) completely unable to interact with the physical world#and 2) entirely bound to the will of some master from Specifically The Dark World#but he can tell that This One is different and. it kind of freaks him out lol#SO. did the king try to bring a vanguard with him when he tried and failed to enter reality? is that what's up?#and then it evaded book jail and was just a loose feral vanguard ig#but if yorick WAS the king in yellow's it. ISN'T that anymore. somehow. some Things happened#also john is so anti yorick rip. bro that's YOUR lil purse dog. this is YOUR problem.#also also arthur says ''well we can't walk into town with a severed head'' apollo dodgeball moments
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instead, I'm reading Nemesis Games, cos i got it for my 30th
#OwlBear Grumbling#owlbear reads#books - books that i want are the best gift#I got Nemesis Games(the Exapanse)#Jade War (by Fonda Lee)#White Night (Dresden Files)#and Aftermarket Afterlife (Seanan McGuire)#I'm reliably informed Perdito Street Station is in the post#with the exception of PST none of these are the first books in series#5 2 9 and 12 respectivly
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i am “no plot, just vibes”-ing my way thru life
#and thru this fckin manuscript#i've managed to add exactly two (2) instances of character drama spice but otherwise y'all are gonna just be here for the lolz#tho TO BE FAIR it's a sex shop romcom ft. a demisexual disaster and a Perpetually Annoyed bisexual li'l oddball so#who needs external conflict. external conflict my nemesis i just wanna talk abt Feelings#the babbling maj#book tag: wyv
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THE BOOK OF SHADOWS CALLS MELINOË SHORT AODJSIDJSKCJSKCJDJ
#IM SORRY QUEEN YOU DESERVE BETTER BUT AIDHWIDHSIXHSJDHSJDJDJFJ#about zorephet: she is for the likes of nemesis; not for goddesses of modest proportion#book of shadows once again being so so mean to meli :(#arry plays hades 2#(there is a bit more to it but jesus christ this book)#okay i may have misled y'all#the actual entry goes on and goes 'silly thought isnt it?' like#okay
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According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the longest bridge is the Danyang-Kunshan Grand Bridge. The Jiaozhou Bay Bridge was the longest bridge over water (aggregate length), but I think it’s been surpassed by the Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macau bridge.
The Jiaozhou Bay Bridge — connecting Qingdao and Huangdao, China — is the world’s longest bridge, spanning 25.84 miles (41.58 km). The construction used 450,000 tons of steel and 2.3 million cubic meters of concrete. The bridge is T-shaped with an over-water, semi-directional interchange to allow for a third directional exit/entry from Hongdao Island.
36.172089°, 120.298834°
Source imagery: Maxar
#jiaozhou bay bridge is the nemesis of the lake ponchartrain causeway#which is why i’m reblogging this correction like some kind of bridge expert which i am not#when the jbb opened it attempted to usurp the causeway’s claim to longest bridge over water#it caused enough controversy for the guiness book to create 2 separate categories#the causeway is the reigning champ of being the longest *continuous* bridge over water#it is terrifying and needs to be shown this respect
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If you feel like giving up on shifting, here's a list of the highs and the lows I've experienced only thanks to shifting:
-Being with someone I liked in my original reality but couldn't have;
-Having fairy wings and flying, feeling the air flow between your hair, body and the rush of adreline the higher you go up;
-Using my magic for the first time, connecting with all sort of living beings (plants, animals) and being able to communicate with them and feel things in a deeper way;
-Having a group of friends in my dorm and becoming united and tight;
-Using futuristic technology;
-Reading really ancient magical books;
-Seeing our solar system in space;
-Actually, being inside a spaceship and seeing space FROM space itself! You think everything is huge and distant? You won't realize how true it is until you're there;
-Connecting to different types of elemental magic all around you, from fire, to water, to more complex things like light and space itself;
-Using magic to make your life easier. Bed? Just use your magic to make it. Clothes? Just spin around and you're ready to go. Bad hair? What's that? I know too many beauty spells to have bad hair;
-Using both dark and light powers, truly understanding the meaning of emotions, even the ones considered ""negative";
-Having an actual arch-nemesis, somehow and someway being so different yet so similar;
-Meeting all sorts of humanoids, from demons, angels, dryads, androids, fairies... and the list goes on;
-Actually belonging to those groups!
-Buying all sort of clothes and accessories, imagine something that doesn't exist here, you can actually wear it now;
-Being sent on mission on another planet;
-Studying on another planet! Waking up and seeing the rings of Saturn, while the sun is just a little tiny dot far away in the sky;
-Being away from Earth and knowing magic is real while the entirety of humanity doesn't;
-Being cast for the first time in your first role!
-Opening a bank account and seeing the cash flow;
-Being loved and appreciated for your talent and the things you do;
-Barely staying on social media to avoid all sort of hate that might get to you;
-Travelling around the world to sing on stage;
-Being able to basically buy anything, without any limits whatsover;
-Big numbers everywhere, from views, to followers, to money;
-Meeting celebrities whom you once liked and being like... "Hey, this person is just like me";
-Celebrities being starstruck for you instead of the other way around;
-a majority of your roles being your main realities;
-Buying your first house! Despite actually living there only for two months max since you're always around the globe;
-Falling in love with people you shouldn't;
-Your ex in your fame reality playing the role of your actual ex of another reality (this one took me out you guys I didn't even do it on purpose)
-Having professors that aren't humans. One of my professor is a victorian frog (If you know you know);
-Being sent all over the cosmo to stop the big bads from taking over;
-While also having to return to class like everything is fine!
-But it totally is... I guess this is the new normal now?;
-Finding out the big villain who's been terrorizing the whole town is your boyfriend's dad and breaking up cause it was too much for you (If you know you know part 2);
-The responsability of the town's safety weighting on you, wondering if you are fit for the role despite winning so many times;
-Starting an investigation on campus because some shady stuff is happening;
-Becoming popular, actually being sucked into popularity and the superficial part of you coming out;
-Your friends being mad at you for it and then remembering what's truly important, them;
-Fighting in battle. You get hurt A LOT if you aren't careful;
-Your arch-nemesis confessing their ACTUAL crimes to you and keeping it a secret because you don't want to get caught by the law;
-Meeting the same people in different realities and realizing how deep people (and also you) are, and how complex life truly is;
I'm sure there's waaaay more since I spent so much time in my realities, but oh there are the ones that came up right now. Hope you guys like the list!
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7 most unhinged canon drarry moments
Harry calling Draco his arch nemesis just a few months after Lord Voldemort tried to murder him for the second time but also immediately thinking that he kinda misses him
Harry getting hit in the head by a piece of luggage because he got so distracted by the sight of Draco changing that he didn’t notice someone swinging a large object at his face
Harry lying to the Order and Magical Law Enforcement to obfuscate Draco’s crimes at the end of sixth year
Voldemort immediately assuming Draco has gone looking for Harry when he goes missing during the Battle of Hogwarts…and being right
Narcissa assuming Harry will know where Draco is and if he’s still alive…and being right
Lucius getting mad at Draco in book 2 because he has spent the entire summer talking nonstop about Harry Potter
Harry forgetting about the time Voldemort possessed and nearly murdered Ginny but remembering every item he saw Draco look at in Borgin and Burkes 4 years previously
#This ship is so accidentally canon it’s ridiculous. Fics are literally subtler#Harry Potter#hpdm#harry potter/draco malfoy#harry potter x draco malfoy#Draco Malfoy#drarry g#random musings#drarry#drarry in canon#my post
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Queer Adult SFF Books Bracket: Round 1
Book summaries and submitted endorsements below:
The Locked Tomb series (Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, Nona the Ninth, and others) by Tamsyn Muir
Endorsement from submitter #1: "An extremely fun, humorous romp! A heart-breaking, soul crushing catharsis inducing tragedy! A thoughtful piece on imperial structures and trauma. On queerness, Muir flawlessly and without announcement, cracks gender open like an egg and spills its disproven guts across the page. The Locked Tomb does it all also bones, bitch."
Endorsement from submitter #2: "Lesbian necromancers in space. So many fascinating, sort of fucked up sapphic relationships going on."
The Emperor needs necromancers.
The Ninth Necromancer needs a swordswoman.
Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.
Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won't set her free without a service.
Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier.
Without Gideon's sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die. Of course, some things are better left dead.
Fantasy, science fiction, horror, mystery, humor, series, adult
The Javelin Program by Derin Edala (Time to Orbit: Unknown series)
When Dr Aspen Greaves signed up for the Javelin Program, humanity's first foray into colonising deep space, they expected to wake up to life in a thriving colony on a distant planet. Instead, they find themself five years away from their destination on a broken spaceship full of complex mysteries, dead astronauts, and a very unhelpful AI.
Aspen wasn't trained for any of this. But if they can't keep themselves alive, get the ship in working order, and find out what went wrong by unravelling a chain of mysteries leading all the way back to distant Earth, then neither Aspen nor the five thousand sleeping passengers in their care will ever see a planet again.
Science fiction, mystery, series, adult
#polls#queer adult sff#the locked tomb#tamsyn muir#tlt#the javelin program#derin edala#time to orbit unknown#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth#time to orbit: unknown#ttou#the antarctica conspiracy#aspen greaves#books#booklr#lgbtqia#tumblr polls#bookblr#book#lgbt books#queer books#poll#sff#sff books#queer sff#book polls#queer lit
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Writing Notes: Plot Method
The Save the Cat! Beat Sheet was originally developed by Blake Snyder to help screenwriters plot movies, but it works just as well with novels.
It breaks down the 3-act structure into small, specific sections (sometimes just one scene long).
Each section pushes your story forward in its own way.
The exact word count/page count of each section depends on how long your novel is and what type of story you’re telling, but you can use the colored chart below and the percentages in the instructions as a guide.
Context Note: This method is based on the concept of the Three Act Structure, which is an inherently Western approach to plot. It can be a useful way to tell a story, but it is by no means the only one.
ACT 1
Opening Image (0-1%)
Show a “before” snapshot of your protagonist and their world.
What is life like before the adventure begins?
It represents the struggle & tone of the story.
Set-up (1-10%)
Expand on the “before” snapshot.
Explore your protagonist’s life, including the internal flaws and external challenges they’ll have to overcome in order to change for the better by the end of the story.
Present the main character’s world as it is, and what is missing in their life.
Also introduce important supporting characters.
Theme Stated (happens during the Set-up)
What your story is about; the message, the truth.
Usually, it is spoken to the main character or in their presence, but they don’t understand the truth/lesson…not until later, when they have some personal experience and context to support it.
Thus, include a scene where a character says something that hints at what the protagonist’s big life lesson will be - how they’ll have to change and grow by the end of the story.
Catalyst (10%)
The moment where life as it is changes.
Examples: It is the telegram, the act of catching your loved-one cheating, allowing a monster onboard the ship, meeting the true love of your life, etc.
There’s no going back to the “before” world from here… What is the inciting incident that pushes the protagonist into the next phase of the story?
Debate (11-20%)
But change is scary and for a moment, or a brief number of moments, the main character doubts the journey they must take.
Show the protagonist questioning themselves and resisting the path ahead - wondering whether they have what it takes, or whether or they should just run home and hide under the bed.
“Should I just…?” “I really shouldn’t because…” “But what about…” Can I face this challenge? Do I have what it takes? Should I go at all?
It is the last chance for the hero to chicken out.
ACT 2
Break Into 2 (20%; Choosing Act Two)
The main character makes a choice and the journey begins.
We leave the “Thesis” world and enter the upside-down, opposite world of Act 2.
They make the choice to begin their adventure/transformation/journey/new thing.
Show your protagonist deciding to plunge into Act 2.
The Promise of the Premise (21-50%)
This is when the reader thinks “Ah, now we’re getting to the good stuff they hinted at on the back cover of this book!”
It’s also one of the longest sections in your book.
Show your protagonist getting used to their new world - loving it, hating it, making mistakes or doing well, meeting new people (see more below) and keeping the reader entertained.
This is when the main character explores the new world and the audience is entertained by the premise they have been promised.
B Story (happens during The Promise of the Premise)
This is when there’s a discussion about the Theme – the nugget of truth.
Usually, this discussion is between the main character and the love interest.
So, the B Story is usually called the “love story”.
Introduce a new character or characters who will eventually help the protagonist learn their life lesson.
Friends? Mentors? Love interests? Nemeses (nemesi?)? Who are they? How will they help?
Midpoint (50%)
This moment is when everything seems “great” or everything seems “awful,” depending on your story.
The main character either gets everything they think they want (“great”) or doesn’t get what they think they want at all (“awful”).
Either the Fun and Games section has lead to a false victory for your protagonist (they think they’ve been doing great so far) or a false defeat (they’ve been having a hard time so far).
What happens in this moment, halfway between beginning and end?
But not everything we think we want is what we actually need in the end.
Bad Guys Close In (51-75%)
Get ready for a bumpy ride. If your Midpoint was a false victory, now things start to go wrong for your protagonist.
If the Midpoint was a false defeat, well, things seem to be looking up, but the bad guys are getting closer and will have something to say.
Note: Bad guys can be actual physical enemies, but they can also be emotional enemies, like doubt or jealousy or fear.
Doubt, jealousy, fear, foes both physical and emotional regroup to defeat the main character’s goal, and the main character’s “great”/“awful” situation disintegrates.
Show the protagonist’s newly-built world beginning to unravel.
This will also be one of the longer sections in your novel.
All is Lost (75%)
This is when something happens to make your character hit rock bottom.
It’s the absolute lowest part of your novel.
Maybe someone or something dies (either literally or figuratively).
The initial goal now looks even more impossible than before. And here, something or someone dies.
It can be physical or emotional, but the death of something old makes way for something new to be born.
What does this moment look like for your protagonist?
Dark Night of the Soul (76-80%)
Your protagonist now has time to react to their “All is lost” moment, to mourn what they lost and wallow in hopelessness.
They’re worse off than they were at the beginning of the novel.
Show how low things have gotten.
Mourning the loss of what has “died” – the dream, the goal, the mentor character, the love of your life, etc.
But, you must fall completely before you can pick yourself back up and try again.
ACT 3
Break Into 3 (80%; Choosing Act Three)
The “aha!” moment; the “lift yourself up and try again” moment.
Show the protagonist realizing what they need to do in order to tackle their problems, both external and internal.
Thanks to a fresh idea, new inspiration, or last-minute Thematic advice from the B Story (usually the love interest), the main character chooses to try again.
Finale (81-99%)
The protagonist does what they decided to do in the Break Intro 3 beat, and (because of all the learning/growing they’ve done and the support or insight from the B Story), their plan works.
This time around, the main character incorporates the Theme – the nugget of truth that now makes sense to them – into their fight for the goal because they have experience from the A Story and context from the B Story.
The Bad Guys are defeated, the world is changed for the better.
What are the battles? How will the protagonist triumph (or not)?
This is another longer section, so you’ve got the space to make things dramatic and intense.
Act Three is about Synthesis.
Final Image (99-100%)
This is the opposite of the Opening Image, the “after” snapshot instead of the “before.”
Show the reader how the protagonist and their world have changed.
THE END
Sources: 1 2 ⚜ Writing Notes & References
#writing notes#plot#writeblr#fiction#on writing#writing tips#writing advice#writers on tumblr#dark academia#spilled ink#writing reference#literature#writing prompt#poetry#poets on tumblr#creative writing#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing inspo#light academia#studyblr#writing resources
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also on the subject of "whoops the main character got written out of the story," if luffy isn't there, then there's nobody to go after arlong and stomp him immediately after he has the marines seize nami's savings, meaning she's just stuck in that situation where she's just been crushed and also everyone she's been trying to save has now decided to go throw themselves on arlong's crew's blades.
so maybe after that happens, she does manage to talk the cocoyasi residents into waiting a little bit longer, but only until, like, the very next time she returns. so when she goes out again with zoro (who i guess at this point is in the know about her situation), they're like, ok, fuck, we gotta pick up the pace. we can't just keep scraping up pennies anymore, we gotta go Big. what's the biggest most lucrative thing we can go after rn. ...so maybe they wind up pursuing the krieg pirates to the baratie
#the nemesis speaks#nami would fucking Kill sanji for feeding gin AND THEN DON KRIEG tbh. she almost had them!! they were such easy prey!! BITCH!!#...ooh and then maybe she drags him into helping her as payback for fucking up her plan there. that's fun#...does zoro also still fight mihawk there? ok nami has 2 ppl on her hitlist now#what would be fun tho i think. wrt luffy and plotwise. is if rather than being the inciting incident for everyone#he's the Very Last person from east blue to show up#one of them fishes him out of the ocean as one of the very last things that happens#and then having him around being. u kno. luffy. is the push they need to go after arlong directly rather than continuing to play his game#cause even if they buy back cocoyasi he'll still be out there and nami got suckered into caring about another village (usopp's)#so they're gonna do it. take a page out of cocoyasi's book they're gonna stop him or die trying
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Sometimes in genre fiction stories, you’ve got magical characters talking about their magical lives in public or wearing their superhero costumes out in the regular world.
Often times, the magical characters feel they need to hide or whisper about things like magic or immortality or fighting demons or like pretend they’re going to a convention to explain their superhero costume.
These are often lovely and charming scenes but let me be clear:
Nobody in a major city would give a fuck.
Just as one example of many, I was literally in line for a book signing in NYC and a man walked by stark ass naked wearing only body paint and basically after the initial surprise, no one did or said anything about it.
The amount of crazy you encounter on any given day walking around a major city makes you basically immune to surprise or taking any kind of action about weird shit happening around you.
If I heard someone talking about their magical powers next to me at a cafe back when I lived in NYC, I’d assume either 1) they’re rehearsing for a play, 2) playing/discussing D&D, and/or most importantly 3) it’s none of my fucking business.
I’m always curious what exactly people think would actually happen in the real world if a supernatural or magical character was overheard by someone who wasn’t actively hunting them or who wished them harm.
If you overheard a time traveler or an immortal or magical person in general candidly speaking about their life at the table next to you, what would you actually do about it?
Would you call the police?
Tell the whole world you just sat next to a real magical person and your evidence is that you overheard their conversation?
Report them to their nemesis? How would you even find them??
Seriously, besides telling your friends about the weird conversation you overheard at lunch or the strange looking person you saw, what exactly would a normal person do even if they really did overhear someone like a time traveler speaking candidly about their travels for anyone to hear?
I ask because I see so many stories set in a superhero or urban fantasy setting worrying about being NOTICED. Noticed by WHO? With what result?? What do you actually worry is going to happen? What would any average person actually do besides shrug and go back to whatever they were doing?
I’d accept that maybe in a smaller town you could become a topic of conversation and even widespread notice.
But let me assure you, friends, in any major city, no one would fucking notice much less say anything about any level of weird shit they saw. The whole point of a big city is that everyone basically ignores the weird shit happening around them at any given point.
So let the fairies and ghosts and time travelers of your fantasy story relax. If they’re in a big city, they could literally fly around downtown with rainbows shooting out their ass and the only comment they’d probably get is from people wondering what movie is being filmed nearby.
#Maggie rambles#in a fic I wrote recently an immortal in London shouts his experience for everyone in a pub to hear#I promise you absolutely no one in a London pub would follow up or assume it’s real#people really just don’t work like that#writing
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TIME TO PRETEND
pairing: luke castellan x gn!poseidon!reader word count: 5k chapter summary: you're the eldest child of poseidon and the hero of the last great prophecy. you left your demigod life behind after defeating kronos. now, years later, you find yourself back at camp half blood for the summer.....which means dealing with luke castellan, and all that history (tension?) left unresolved between you. warnings: some nicknames for reader are based on female characters (mermista, sailor neptune) but they're still written as gender neutral. reader has tattoos. mention of alcohol + death (post-titan war). spoilers for the entire pjo (book) series, mostly references to the last olympian. timeline is all over the place but set in the early 2000s for vibes. no betrayal (au where chris was the one who sided w kronos and led the titan army) so slightly ooc luke <3 author's note: welcome to another product of my pjo hyperfixation !!! i wanted to finish the nemesis!reader series first but it's summer and i felt like reworking my tsitp series in a camp half-blood setting with bb luke. so prepare for childhood friends to lovers drama! summertime vibes! nostalgia! angst! would love to know what y'all think about this and if you want a part 2 so feel free to scream at me in the comments. otherwise, enjoy and thanks 4 reading 💙
♪: time to pretend by mgmt
YOU’VE GOT MAIL!
1 new message
from: LukeNotSkywalker
to: Mermista86
subject: you are GETTING that record deal
Hey,
Your demo CD just came in the mail — and, Connor as my witness, I’ve already listened to it five times!!!
It’s amazing. You’re amazing. The label would totally lose out if they didn’t sign you.
Things have been pretty chaotic around here, with the summer term happening soon. Speaking of which: are you coming back? Chiron gave me the list of returning campers and counsellors this morning and said he hadn’t heard from you, so I thought I’d ask. I know you’ll be busy with the band, but if you get the chance, it’d be really great to see you.
Anyways, I’m leading the next Shield & Sword session, so I’d better go. Talk soon ;)
- L
FOUR YEARS LATER
TURBULENT WATERS? ALT-ROCK BAND MIDNIGHT SIRENS HIT ROUGH PATCH AFTER LEAD GUITARIST GETS INTO VIOLENT ALTERCATION
the cover is the nail in the coffin: a blurry picture of you, an electric blue guitar forgotten at your feet, lunging forward into a crowd, with your bandmates on stage behind you in shock.
you’d gone all this time without any major incidents, and one stupid chimera managed to burn down everything you worked for in one fell swoop.
“that’d be $8.50,” the cashier informs.
you tear your attention away from the magazine, instead fishing through your pocket for some change. meanwhile, the cashier furrows their brow, leans down slightly to get a better look at you underneath your sunglasses and baseball cap.
“hey, do i know you?”
“nope,” you say instantly, slapping a $10 bill onto the counter. “keep the change.” you gather your pile of necessary roadtrip supplies (slushies, m&m’s, and goldfish) before rushing out the door, your half-brother trailing behind you.
you slide into the driver’s seat, set each slushie in a cup holder, and hand the rest to percy once he’s slipped into the passenger side.
“seatbelt,” you remind him. you shake your hair out after removing your baseball cap disguise. “i promised your mom i’d be responsible.”
percy does as he’s told, though not without mumbling about how he’s practically an adult and a demigod who’s been in much more dangerous situations than a car ride up to long island. you just tell him to put on some music, even though he has a point. he’ll be 18 in august and you’re only five years older, but the fact is that you gave sally jackson your word.
plus — you’re his older sibling, so gods forbid you let him get hurt. a seatbelt seems like a band-aid solution for one of the most powerful demigods out there, but still.
percy flips through a few radio stations while he sips his blue raspberry slushie. when he doesn’t find anything good, he opens the glove compartment and surveys your music collection before sliding a cd into the stereo.
instantly, the familiar sound of david bowie’s voice eases the tension in your shoulders.
“good choice?”
you nod and percy smiles triumphantly. you reach over to steal a few goldfish from the bag he just opened and ruffle his hair playfully, for good measure.
you’re perfectly happy, driving along a long island highway while getting lost in the glam rock world of ziggy stardust, but it isn’t long until percy interrupts:
“are you finally gonna tell me what happened, or do i have to read it from some trashy gossip magazine like everyone else?”
“well, your dyslexic ass can barely read so….”
you look over at him briefly, and laugh when you see him stick his slightly-blue tongue out to you.
“at least my dyslexic ass is actually decent at ancient greek. luke told me you failed the reading test, like, a million times.”
your heart twinges at the mention of your old friend.
friend.
if you could still call him that.
thankfully, percy doesn’t give you much room to dwell on the past, too focused on your drama-filled present.
“so, what is it? you got kicked out of the band? lost everything? have nowhere else to go?”
you roll your eyes at his dramatics. “i did not get kicked out.”
“then, what happened?”
“just the usual.” you shrug. “monster attack, mortals who can’t see through the mist. i tried to explain it away after — something about how i saw someone in the crowd attack another person and i stepped in to help. most people bought it, but the media loves drama and the label’s worried i’m a flight risk now. apparently, everything will blow over if i just keep a low profile for the next few months. so….no. i didn’t lose everything.” you take a deep, like when anyone other than children of poseidon are about to go underwater and they’re not quite sure when they can come up for air.
“i just don’t really have anywhere else to go,” you finish.
“damn.” percy offers you a blue shark gummy (or whale - you and percy had already debated the shape of the candy that sally packed for the trip, and the jury’s still out). you gratefully accept. “well, i know it’s not the best reason, but i’m excited to spend the summer together.”
despite everything, you find yourself smiling.
“me too, kid.”
“it’d give me a chance to kick your ass in sword-fighting.”
“you wish!” you nudge his shoulder, both of you giggling. once the laughter’s died down, you glance at percy once more. “hey – did you tell anyone i was coming?”
percy shakes his head. “why?”
you take a long swig of your drink until you’re on the brink of brain freeze.
“no reason.”
it’s just after lunch when you arrive at camp half-blood.
you weren’t sure what you were expecting — maybe not some futuristic technological developments that had been discovered within the years you were gone, but definitely not for camp to look pretty much exactly the same as when you left.
instantly, you find comfort in the familiar scenes: a dragon, peleus, guarding the magical borders; dryads and satyrs picking strawberries in the fields next to the forest; chiron standing near the central guidepost, greeting and guiding every camper in the right direction.
chiron smiles down at percy and practically does a double take when his eyes land on you.
“mx. l/n! it has been a while. are you here to drop off your brother, or do you plan on staying for the summer?”
before you can answer, someone appears behind him.
“perce! hey!”
“hey, luke.”
luke gives him a side hug, and percy shoves him away with a laugh when he ruffles his hair. it’s then that luke acknowledges you, though he looks like that’s the last thing he wants to do.
“i thought i’d never see you again. what are you doing here? ”
chiron turns to you expectedly. “i believe you have yet to answer that question of mine as well.”
“staying for the summer…” you adjust the shoulder strap of your backpack, uneased by luke’s cold demeanor. “i hope that’s okay.”
“of course!” chiron’s smile grows wide, eyes crinkling. “you’ll resume your position as head counsellor of cabin 3.”
“so i’m dethroned? just like that?” percy guffaws.
you nudge percy’s shoulder. “fulfill the next great prophecy, and then we’ll talk.”
percy rolls his eyes playfully. luke, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to appreciate your tongue-in-cheek remark. his jaw tightens, and he suddenly finds a deep interest in the clipboard he’s holding.
chiron clears his throat, likely sensing the tension. “yes, well, i’m sure you remember how things work around here. if not, mr. castellan has been keeping this ship afloat. he's always here to help.”
“always.” luke smiles, but it’s elastic, threatening to snap at any moment. someone calls his name, and he walks away to deal with whatever chaos is waiting for him.
summer — age 15
you weren’t exactly conscious when you first arrived at camp half-blood.
apparently, coach hedge, a satyr and protector, found you just in time and had to practically drag you up half-blood hill after a particularly gruesome fury attack.
when you woke up and saw luke sleeping next to you in a chair, his curls overgrown and falling onto his eyes, you thought you had died and gone to elysium.
you took in your unfamiliar surroundings. some sort of infirmary, with only your best friend next to you, the one you hadn’t seen in almost a year since you’d parted ways.
then, you remembered what was happening before you passed out; it was more likely that you were being tricked into a false sense of security by that fury, who definitely planned on devouring you later.
with a newfound sense of urgency, you decided it was time to get out of there before it was too late. you were reaching for your knife when you felt a hand grab your shoulder. without losing a second, you twisted your body around, weapon at the ready.
whoever it was watching over you sure looked like luke. he was wearing a bright orange shirt and leather cord necklace with one clay bead. another point of difference was the jagged scar that cut across his left cheek.
“it’s just me,” he said, gently. “you’re fine here. you’re safe.”
you weren’t convinced, kept your knife in front of you to keep distance. “prove it.” you narrowed your eyes. “tell me something only luke would know.”
“you’re left-handed.”
“that’s a great observation,” you scoff.
“storm is your favourite x-men character.”
“that’s a very popular opinion.”
“your aunt would make us mango lassi after swim camp when she got home from work,” luke tries for the third time. “and, my mom - she used to call you ‘starfish.’”
your heart skipped a beat.
that was the confirmation you needed.
the knife dropped from your hand, clattered on the wooden floor, as you pulled luke in for a hug. you were greeted by a familiar scent, that pear shampoo luke loved because it made his hair so soft, mixed with the smell of fresh pine trees.
“it’s really you,” you mumbled into his shoulder.
despite sleeping for gods know how long, you were exhausted. you rested your weight into luke, but he didn’t seem to care.
“it’s really you. i thought i’d never see you again.”
“where are we?” you asked, breaking away to face luke. you ignored the wooziness you felt throughout your body; luke seemed to sense it, his grip around you tightening. “are annabeth and thalia here, too? how’d you get here?” your thumb traced the unfamiliar scar on his face. “what happened? are you okay —”
“i-i’ll answer all your questions, but you lost a lot of blood.” luke guided you to lay back down in bed. “we’ll explain everything. just get some rest.”
a third scenario entered your mind: this was all a dream. you’d close your eyes and when you opened them again, luke would be gone. you’d be alone again.
you couldn’t let go of luke’s hand, even as he tucked you back into bed. you tugged his wrist, silently urging him to join you.
“will you stay with me?” you finally croaked when he continued standing.
luke looked at you, and you nodded once as final confirmation. then, he removed his shoes and slipped into the bed next to you. it was luke, all sweet pear and soft curls and strong heartbeat, and you held on to him in fear that he might slip away.
“always,” he whispered.
during the orientation video you were later shown, you learned that camp half-blood’s motto is keeping young heroes safe (mostly) for over three millennia!
luke had used that word, too. safe.
chiron told you this was to be your new home as he walked you to the poseidon cabin. he told you that you were safe now, though you noticed how the word almost got caught in his throat. he gave you a sad smile you didn’t quite understand.
you did wonder, at first, if those words were true: this place, a home for you and other children of gods. somewhere safe.
and, well.
you came to understand chiron’s general melancholy a few weeks later, and every week after that. he was used to training and sending heroes off to their potential death, and you would be no different. stolen lightning bolts, deadly quests, cryptic prophecies. a pending war between divine forces you had been entangled with long before you knew. heartache and betrayal and loss beyond measure.
but, there were other things, too.
annabeth, fitting in perfectly at the athena cabin, continued being her genius self, leading her team to victory every capture the flag game. she was extra patient in helping you with ancient greek, especially after chiron had given up.
chris rodriguez, luke’s half-brother, would tell you jokes from across the dining pavilion, knowing that you hated sitting alone at the poseidon table. michael yew, son of apollo, taught you how to play guitar at the bonfire one week; you’d ask for more and more lessons until you could start playing on your own. charles beckendorf made you a celestial bronze sword that shone like that burst of light when the sun hits the ocean at sunset. it transformed into a ring that you would never take off, unless in battle. you might not have gotten along with mr. d, but you spent free time picking fresh strawberries with his son, castor. you made matching friendship bracelets with silena beauregard, who was really the only person you confided in, about how you maybe possibly felt something other than friendship when it came to luke. she told you about her crush on clarisse larue, the daughter of ares whom you would always partner with during sparring practice. you taught ethan nakamura, who didn’t have his own cabin as the child of nemesis, how to properly hold a sword. thalia’s tree stood tall at the top of the hill where you almost bled to death, protecting you and everyone inside the magical borders. you, annabeth, and luke would share a picnic there every thursday.
you had been on the run for so long, always looking over your shoulder for monsters, sleeping with one eye open to be one step ahead of death, jumping from one place to the next so quickly to avoid danger.
so, yes.
it was nice to stay in one place, where you knew you were as safe as demigods could be. it was nice to spend your time learning and training and laughing instead of just surviving.
it was nice to have a place to call home. and people to call it home with.
now
the first week passes in the blink of an eye, and it’s like you never left.
tie-dye, volleyball, strawberry picking, kitchen duty, and cabin inspection.
luke has everyone on a tight schedule — one, you notice, conveniently places the two of you at opposite ends of camp at all times.
still, you catch up with clarisse and the stoll brothers, spend time with annabeth and percy, say hi to pollux and katie gardner and others you vaguely recognize as five years older than what you remember. there are also a lot of faces you don’t recognize at all.
of course, you try not to think about the faces you wished you could see: friends you grew up with and would never have a laugh with again, younger campers you had trained who would never grow up. all lost because of the gods and the titans and a prophecy you never asked to be a part of.
it’s a side effect of being back here; their ghosts are harder to ignore.
again — trying not to think about it.
anyways.
climbing wall, armory, sword-fighting practice, archery field, and free time on the beach.
to conclude: capture-the-flag, a friday night camp-half blood tradition.
you’re praising annabeth for her latest strategy that led to blue team victory when you notice luke. he was also on the blue team, but instead of celebrating with the rest of you, he’s speaking to someone who’s wearing a red helmet. they seem to be in a heated discussion, one that luke is not wanting to continue. his tells are the same, after all these years: the impatient tapping of his foot, his eyes searching for an out.
you give it to him.
“sorry, i need to borrow this guy.” you say, grabbing luke’s wrist. “camp emergency.”
if the person said anything, you didn’t hear it, because you were already dragging luke away from the crowd, towards the armory shed.
“what’s the emergency?” luke wonders, brows furrowed in concern. he has deep shadows under his eyes, too. keeping the ship that is camp half-blood afloat has clearly taken a toll on him.
“you wanting to get out of that conversation. you’re welcome.” you wink at him; luke flushes, and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s annoyed, or if he's just flustered. “so, are you gonna keep ignoring me the whole summer?”
you put your helmet on one of the shelves and turn back to luke. you expected him to start removing his armor as well, but he doesn’t. he just glares at you, arms crossed over his chest.
so, he’s annoyed, then.
“what do you expect?” luke hisses. “you can’t come back here and pretend that everything can be like it was when we were kids. things are different now, especially between us.”
you decide to take him up on his challenge.
“oh? tell me, luke, what exactly is different between us?”
luke shakes his head in disbelief. you remove your chest plate, and that’s when the tattoo on your waist becomes visible. it’s a magnolia, like one of the flowers that bloomed on the tree outside may castellan’s house.
something in luke softens, then. he sighs.
“you could have at least given me a warning.”
he storms off, and you’re left half-armored, wondering what he meant by that.
you figure it out once a few of you settle down for a late-night, underground poker game, and you’re trying not to stare at luke’s hands.
it starts with you telling yourself that you’re just trying to predict what cards he’s holding, figure out if he’s bluffing, and if he’s about to lose everything he’d so confidently bet on.
but then you notice the silver thumb ring that thalia got him for his 17th birthday. you notice an array of hair ties and elastic bands he keeps just in case a camper needs them, and woven bracelets given to him by his admirers. you notice how the tattoo on his wrist is covered. (it’s hidden well, but you know it’s there — you’d gotten one of a wing, the kind that might be found on a pair of magical red converse, at the same time)
you also notice the forest green painted on luke’s nails, the same shade worn by the person beside him.
van, the new head counsellor of the hephaestus cabin. you’d seen them at staff meetings, but you somehow did not notice that they were dating luke.
he moved on — is that why luke needed a warning? is that what's changed between you?
it’s fine. whatever. so what if luke has a new partner? it’s not like the two of you were anything, officially.
luke has a new partner. they’re wearing matching nail polish. they’re one of those couples.
well, van is also wearing a nickleback shirt and luke hates nickleback, unless that fundamental part of his personality changed, too.
“yo, sailor neptune. you in or not?” travis brings you out of your daze, by using a nickname luke once called you.
back before becoming heroes, when you and luke were just kids, you’d watch cartoons in his living room on saturday mornings — x-men, she-ra: princess of power, teenage mutant ninja turtles, sailor moon. a lifetime ago.
you look around the table and see that everyone has been waiting for you to take your turn. even luke raises an eyebrow at you.
“yeah.” you clear your throat and throw some chips into the centre. “i’m in.”
you have decent enough cards to keep you in the game, and you’re comfortable that you can play the odds in your favor. the stoll brothers are good liars, you know that, and so is luke. malcolm pace is good at strategy, but thankfully not as good as his half-sister annabeth. pollux, who had invited you to the game, already folded along with butch, the son of iris who has a rainbow tattoo on his bicep to prove it. beside you, lou ellen, daughter of the hecate, contemplates her next move. clovis has fallen asleep, true to their title as head counsellor of the hypnos cabin. you can’t get a read on van, but they keep raising the stakes so confidently, and you’ve always liked a good challenge.
soon enough, it’s only you and van in the bet. when it comes time to reveal your cards, you curse yourself for overplaying your hand.
“good game,” van says to you as they collect their winnings. “you really had me going there.”
“yeah.” your smile is strained, but it’s there nonetheless. “tried my best.”
“guess the curse of achilles doesn’t help as much in poker as it does in capture the flag.”
“excuse me?” you raise an eyebrow.
luke, who had one arm casually draped around van’s chair the entire game, pulls away. “van, maybe don’t —”
“it’s not like it’s a secret, luke. they’re the prophecy kid, everyone knows they bathed in the river styx to be able to fight kronos. it’s camp legend.”
other than you, luke, and van, everyone else is occupied with something else. connor busies himself shuffling the cards, while lou ellen, malcolm, and pollux get up for more drinks. it seems like butch and travis have their own bet going to see who can balance the most chips on clovis’ forehead without waking him up.
van waits for an answer. you’re a little queasy, and it’s not from the wine pollux managed to snag from his dad’s office. you’re suddenly faced with the reality that your life is reduced to a legend. you try your best to swallow that feeling, of being made into a greek tragic hero while your heart is still beating, and your life is still a mess.
“that’s relevant, why?”
“just that some people might consider the invulnerability thing an unfair advantage in physical competitions like capture the flag,” van explains. “increased strength and all that.”
“that would mean nothing without a good strategy,” you counter.
“that’s what i said,” luke grumbles.
you recognize van now as the person luke was arguing with earlier. it must have been about this.
about you.
“okay, y’all were best friends, so luke is obviously going to take your side.”
you’re not sure what stings more: friends or were.
“although, he never really talks about you, which is weird because you’re, like, famous in and outside camp.”
ouch. that definitely stings the most. luke winces slightly, almost like he feels it, too.
“alright, alright,” connor interjects, shuffling the cards in his hands. “another round?”
you’re the only one who decides to call it a night. everyone says goodbye; even van, who’s blissfully unaware of the effect their words had on you. luke avoids your gaze. the game continues without you.
percy’s snoring provides enough cover as you sneak into your shared cabin. you try to sleep, but it doesn’t come easy.
you feel the spot underneath your rib, the one spot you’re truly vulnerable, ache.
summer — age 17
for the first time in your life, you couldn’t breathe underwater. you were swimming in acid, and your skin was melting away.
at least, that’s what it felt like to bathe in the river styx. achilles could have mentioned that, but all he gave was a cryptic warning about anchoring yourself to what makes you mortal.
you really tried at first. you thought about your friends at camp. you thought about percy, about your aunt back when she was still around. you even thought about may castellan, burnt cookies and saturday mornings.
the pain was too much, though.
you were forgetting where you were, who you were. with every passing second, you were dissolving into nothing.
“if you wanted to go for a swim, you should have told me. i would have worn my swimsuit.”
luke’s voice echoed across the waves. you tilted your head up to see him sitting on the dock above you, his feet dangling into the water. he had rolled up his jeans to just above his ankles so they didn’t get wet, but his shoes were still on, which was a bit strange. the sun made his eyes look like burnt amber, his teeth sparkling as he smiled at you.
okay. cool.
you were at camp. it was mid-afternoon, free period. the two of you had been at the edge of the lake, until you became impatient and jumped in, fully clothed. behind him, you could see that annabeth, thalia, and percy were waiting for you on the shore. they were each wearing orange camp shirts, which was also strange; you couldn’t remember a time when you were all there together, as campers.
“we better go, sailor,” luke said, amusement laced throughout his words. “come on. those cabins aren’t gonna inspect themselves.”
luke extended his hand to you. when you hesitated, he added:
“i can’t do this without you. will you stay with me?”
you reached up and grabbed luke’s hand.
always.
you emerged from the water, catching your breath as you collapsed on the sand.
“oh gods. are you okay?”
your cousin, nico diangelo, son of hades, knelt down next to you. he tried to check your pulse, but you waved him away. your eyes searched for luke, but he wasn’t there, despite feeling the ghost of his hand in your own.
oh.
you weren’t at camp; you were in the underworld. it was nico’s idea for you to take on the curse of achilles so that you’d be strong enough to face kronos.
“did it work?”
you got up, a bit uneasy on your feet at first. nico helped steady you, his hands cold on your skin.
you felt….stronger wasn’t the right word. you felt adrenaline coursing through your veins, like you could swim across the biggest ocean without pausing once. like you could defeat an entire army and not break a sweat. maybe even take down a titan or two while you're at it.
you needed to see luke again, to meet him and the others in manhattan before it was too late.
“let’s hope so.”
now
you always loved mornings at camp half-blood. the beach was particularly beautiful at sunrise, the water peaceful.
the morning after that impromptu poker game, you need that peacefulness to wash over you. you’re awake after a rather sleepless night, deciding to go for a quick run before breakfast. you get dressed and grab your mp3 player, as quietly as you can to avoid waking up percy (who, truthfully, could probably sleep through a hurricane anyways).
you jog from one end of the beach to the other. you set a steady rhythm, somewhere between the beat of your music and the sound of waves gently washing over the shore. when you make your way back down to where you started, you notice someone sitting nearby.
luke doesn’t say anything when you first sit next to him. he’s wearing a dark blue hoodie over his usual orange shirt, a cigarette tucked behind his ear. you imagine that he confiscated it from a camper on the way here.
“morning,” he finally whispers, eyes fixed towards the ocean.
you shiver, and not just from the cool morning air. you’re reminded of the last time luke spoke to you so softly, the last time you’d caught an early morning sunrise together. such a contrast to where you are now.
“morning,” you finally reply.
as the sound of waves fills the silence between you, luke surprises you by taking a lighter out of his pocket. he lights the cigarette and takes a puff. then, he hands it to you.
it’s such an odd, though not unwelcomed, gesture. a peace offering, you figure, but it’s just so not luke that you can’t help yourself.
“is golden boy luke castellan, offering me contraband? what planet am i on?”
the hint of a smile creeps onto his face. “like i said: things are different now,” he echoes his words from the night before, but this time you don’t sense any hostility.
you take a drag of the cigarette. your fingers brush against his when you return it to him.
you decide to offer a peace offering as well, and present to him one of your earbuds — he accepts. you have to slide across the sand to move closer to him, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
i’m feelin’ rough, i’m feeling raw / i’m in the prime of my life….
as the song plays, you glance to see luke nodding along, tapping a finger on his knee to the beat. he lets the cigarette smoulder in his other hand.
we’re fated to pretend / to pretend / yeah, yeah, yeah….
when the song is over, luke turns to you.
“new group?” he brings the cigarette to his lips, then gives it back to you.
“kinda.” you inhale, letting the smoke warm your lungs before explaining. “this is considered they’re breakthrough album. they’re from connecticut, actually.”
“oh, yeah? guess that’s where all the talent is from.”
luke bumps his shoulder against yours knowingly. you feel your cheeks heat up at his praise, his witty sincerity.
this is familiar — you and luke, at the beach, sharing music. it’s familiar, and for a few moments, you can act like there isn’t a wall between you, of unresolved feelings and harsh words. you can pretend that nothing has changed.
“you know, nickleback are from connecticut, too. which means you just called them talented.”
luke coughs on some smoke as he exhales with a laugh. “what? no i didn’t!”
“in a roundabout way. i always knew you were an undercover fan,” you tease.
“i have better taste than that.”
“do you?”
“you’re fucking with me,” luke deadpans.
you crack a smile. “yeah, i’m fucking with you.”
“gods, you scared me for a second,” he laughs, and you can’t help but follow. luke glances at you and the sunshine highlights his smile, his dark brown curls, the ever-changing color of his eyes. golden, radiant.
you shiver again, looking away. before you know it, you feel something draped across your shoulders.
“i’m not sure van would like it if i was wearing your hoodie.” you joke, but your words are laced with a bitterness you hope luke doesn’t catch. unlucky for you, luke still knows you too well, whether he likes it or not.
“you don’t get to do that.”
“do what?”
luke scoffs. “be jealous.”
“well, you don’t get to tell me how to feel.”
“so, you are jealous?”
you exhale sharply; you can practically feel the wall between you two reappear.
“it’s too early, lu. and i’m too hungover to deal with this.”
there’s nothing more left to say. you get up, throw his hoodie on the sand, and walk back towards your cabin, the beach and luke further away with every step you take.
it makes sense that way: you were always the one to leave first.
#feel free to comment + reblog <3#saf writes#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan pjo#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan#luke castellan x you#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo x reader#pjo fanfic#pjo series#luke castellan angst#tsitp#the summer i turned pretty
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Yours To Have, Yours to Break
Summary: What if instead of Nesta, Cassian found out about Azriel and his secret lover. What will happen when the hearty general, in his anger of being left out, causes his brother's happiness to fall apart? How will he atone for his mistake?
A/N: Of course I had to make my comeback with the angstiest angst to ever angst. And that too by turning my fluffiest fic into pure pain. I guess you can say that this this is a spin off of Yours to Keep and Cherish. Also... I know I dropped off the face of the earth but life happens guys. I'm sorta back and here's a fic to make up for it.
Disclaimer: If you're an Elain fan, I would recommend you not read this. I would hate to ruin your day. I do not hate Elain. This is just an idea I got from all the soap dramas I've been seeing recently. Don't kill me please.
Also this shit and not edited. But I was so desperate to post something that I honestly don't care. Hope y'all like it. And yes there will be a part 2
Cassian POV:
As the General of the Night Court’s armies, Cassian had many duties: training soldiers, commandeering battalions at the borders, coming up with war strategies, buying romance novels for his mate and her friends. He wasn’t sure when the last one made its way on his list of responsibilities, or who put it there, but there it was. And who was Cassian to deny his mate?
So that’s how the Lord of Bloodshed found himself standing aimlessly in the middle of the Rainbow, scratching his head, with a list in his hand. Nesta had sent him off to find the newest edition of a Sellyn Drake novel but he hadn’t the slightest idea where to find it. His mate had instructed him to visit a particular bookshop named “The Quill”, being sure that they would have the newest book. Unfortunately, because luck had named him its nemesis at birth, the bookshop was closed for the day. He had asked around and apparently the owner had just left an hour prior to his arrival. Of course, they had.
That is why he had been wandering around the Rainbow, walking into one bookshop after the other, but somehow not one of them had the book Nes wanted. What are the odds of that? How is it possible that only one bookshop in the entire city had this specific book? And why did it have to be closed today? Cassian knew returning empty handed would not only incur the wrath of his beloved mate, but also her Valkyrie sisters. And given the fact that he himself had been teaching them some new disarming techniques, he had no desire to become their training dummy.
While he did not intend on stopping his hunt, he was quite parched. As the summer season approached, afternoons in Velaris became increasingly sweltering. A chilled glass of wine would do just the trick to cool him down, and also relax his nerves. Just as he was deciding on which bar to stop at, he remembered a conversation he had had with Mor the other day. She had told him about a café she had discovered that served the best margaritas during lunch time. Honestly, she hadn’t stopped raving about it for almost a week. What the hell. He was already out in town, might as well try a new place. If it turned out to be good, he could bring Nesta to placate her in case he couldn’t find her book.
Mind made up, he took off to the air, the subtle breeze as he did so, instantly making him feel better. Gliding through the clouds, the twists and turns with wind, were always a guaranteed way of cooling down.
Said café was perched on a hill overlooking the Sidra. He took in the view and the lush gardens outside the café as he landed, and started to walk in. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior; the décor a blend of elegance and coziness. Oh yeah, he was definitely bringing Nesta here for a date.
He had just given his order to a waitress who looked way too giddy writing it down. Thank the Mother Nesta wasn’t here. Or someone might as well have lost a hand.
Although this is one of the reasons why he didn’t like coming to restaurants and bars alone. Not having company meant he didn’t have anyone to share his stories and jokes with. So, as he waited for his order to arrive, he sat back and took in the people around him; a habit that looked casual enough but was one instilled in him during his years training in the Illyrian camps.
He had been admiring the view from the balcony in the corner when his order arrived. Smiling a thank you, he took a sip from his margarita and damn was it good as Mor had said. He made a silent note to himself to thank her for the recommendation. He was in the middle of another deliciously cold sip, when something caught his eye in the corner of the room, causing him to choke.
What. The. Fuck.
Cassian was sure he looked like a blubbering fish with how his jaw dropped open and his eyes bulged out their sockets. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating from the heat. Yes, that must have been it, the heat had surely gotten to his head. For Cassian could think of no other explanation for the sight in front of him.
His brother, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court, torture extraordinaire, was sitting hand in hand with a beautiful young woman, smiling like a love-sick fool and… eating macarons? Since when did Azriel like deserts? Or the more pressing question: who the hell was he sitting with? Cassian knew his brother liked to keep his lovers secret, but deep down his gut told him this was no mere fling, or one-night stand. For starters, Azriel was smiling like a puppy drunk on love, while bringing the lady’s hand up to his lips to kiss. Cauldron. Just as Cassian had somewhat stopped gawking like a fish out of water, he saw the lady lean over and whisper something across the table, causing Azriel to throw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.
Although he couldn’t explain why, but at that moment Cassian felt a sharp hurt go through him. For he could not remember the last time Azriel had laughed like that with them. Damn it, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen Azriel smile nearly as much as was doing now at any family function.
Before he could even begin to process what had unfolded before him, he saw Azriel pay the bill for their food and the couple walked out hand in hand. Immediately Cassian was on his feet, ready to follow them. If someone had asked him why he did what he did at a later moment, he would not have been able to explain himself. At that moment, Cassian was driven only by curiosity and a minor note of hurt too-why had his brother hid this from them?
Rushing out after paying the bill, Cassian saw the happy couple walk down the cobblestone path, once again arm in arm, with the woman leaning against Azriel. Another thing that shocked Cassian: how the hell had Azriel not noticed him by now? Those pesky little shadows normally informed his brother of every detail of his surroundings; Azriel’s own heightened senses and observational skills were what made him the Spymaster of this court. So, for him to not notice Cassian so obviously trailing behind them at a distance, was a testament to how captivated his brother was by the woman on his arm.
At one-point Cassian thought that his brother would winnow with his partner and he would lose them, but the couple continued their stroll without a care in the world. He continued to trail behind them while also maintaining somewhat of a distance. Azriel may not be as hyper vigilant as always, but he wasn’t blind by any means- and Cassian was no small man either.
“Breakfast was delightful, darling. We should plan another afternoon here, what do you think?” he heard the woman comment.
“Of course, but I am oh so very tired. I think I need a few days alone at home with my nightingale to recharge,” Azriel replied with a smirk.
Cassian balked on the inside: okay Mr. I Don’t Need To Resort To Poetry.
“We could always have breakfast here again on Saturday. It is our two-year anniversary, and I intend on spending the day however my nightingale wishes. I think the café can be a brilliant start to our day,” Azriel offered, laughing as the woman swatted his arm at the previous comment.
Reaching the end of the path, Azriel grabbed the woman in his arms and winnowed away, leaving behind a thoroughly perplexed Cassian.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Cassian was convinced he must have stood there for another half an hour before coming to his senses. He then took off to the House of Wind, ready to face his mate and the Valkyries’ collective wrath. And his assumption had been right; the three women had blown up when they saw him return empty handed and had proceeded to go on twenty-minute-long rant. For the life of him, Cassian could not have repeated a single word they had said. Because he had not listened to a single word, at least not while paying attention. As their rage had quelled, Cassian had simple gotten up and walked to his room, ignoring the questioning looks from his mate.
While Nesta was still in the library with the girls, Cassian had retreated to bed. And that is where he was now: sitting in bed, staring at a wall, completely at a loss for words. He could not even begin to process what he had seen, let alone understand what he was feeling. For some reason he could not get over how openly Azriel had laughed with that woman, how alight his eyes had seemed. It was as if the Shadowsinger was glowing with happiness, as paradoxical as that sounds.
And it’s not like Cassian wasn’t happy for his brother-quite the contrary. He was just hurt that Azriel had chosen to hide something like this from him for two years. Two years. The words clanged around his head like the sharp tolling of a bell. Azriel had this from them for two goddamn years. And he had a sinking feeling that if he had not discovered the two of them today, he would not have found out for quite some more time.
But why? Keeping casual flings a secret was no big deal. They all had had ventures they didn’t tell anyone, he was sure of it. But if the couple were celebrating their two-year anniversary, then it must be serious. Cassian could tell his brother was committed just by how he had been looking at the woman. And if Azriel truly was serious about this woman, why would he hide it from them? His family?
That is the part that pierced his heart. Up until this day, Cassian had thought the two of them to be rather close. Sure, Rhys and Az clashed from time to time because of their own attitudes, but he liked to think that Azriel and him had always been close. Azriel was his best friend for Cauldron sake. Whenever he had had issues with Nesta at the beginning of their relationship-and he had plenty- Azriel had been his confidante, the one he went to for advice. His brother had been there for him at the highs and lows of his journey with Nesta.
So why hadn’t he let Cassian do that for him? Why had his brother chosen secrecy when he could have confided in Cassian? It’s not like he wouldn’t have supported them. He knew his brother was secretive and shy, but it was one thing to hide things about his work and another to choose to hide such a major part of his life from his brothers.
They were brothers, they were supposed to support each other, to stand by one another, not keep secrets and tell lies. All of a sudden Cassian saw the past two years in a different light. He recalled all the times Azriel had shown up to breakfast with an unusually cheery mood, all the times he had been rushing to leave family dinner, all the times he had skipped their get togethers with the strangest excuses. How long had this been going on? And for how long had they been so painfully oblivious?
Did Azriel not trust them? No, that can’t be it. Did Azriel think he could not open up to them? Each explanation he came up with seemed less plausible than the last. As he continued to spiral, Cassian began to question whether the two were as close as he thought them to be.
Why. Why. Why.
“You know if you stare at the wall any longer, you’re going to burn a hole into it.”
Nesta. He hadn’t even noticed when she had come into the room, and judging by her amused look, Cassian assumed she had been there for some time. Pushing off the wall she had been leaning against, Nesta walked over and sat by him on their bed.
“I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes, where’s your mind at?” Nesta asked while pushing some stray strands of hair behind his ear.
Shit. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just tell Nesta something he himself wasn’t supposed to know. If he hadn’t walked into that café by chance, Cassian would have been none the wiser about this whole situation. For whatever reason Azriel was keeping his relationship secret, he didn’t think it his place to reveal it.
“It’s nothing, Nes. Just thinking about Wind Haven. I’m supposed to head up there next week and I already know Devlon’s going to be a pain in the ass,” Cassian tried to divert.
“Since when have you started getting so worked up over Devlon? He’s going to whine and throw a fit, but ultimately he is going to have to do what you say. You’re worried about something else. What is it?” his ingenious mate inquired. How her intuition was so good he’d never know, honestly sometimes he thought of handing over the mantle of General to her, with how good she was.
“C’mon. You know you can tell me whatever is bothering you,” Nesta pushed while grabbing his hand in her own and damn did he melt at that.
“Alright. If I tell you, you cannot tell anyone else.”
Nesta sat up straighter at that, ears perked with curiosity, eyes wide open and eager.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Nesta answered while nodding.
“I’m serious about this Nes. You can’t tell anyone, not even Emerie or Gwyn. No one,” Cassian reiterated, trying to get his mate to understand how serious it was.
“Alright, alright. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
Cassian sighed before revealing what was very much not his secret to reveal,
“Azriel has a girlfriend.”
“Wait-what?”
“Az has a girlfriend,” Cassian repeated.
“No, I heard you the first time. But…how…when??? Why hasn’t he told anyone?”
“I have no idea, Nes,” Cassian replied while falling back against the headboard. He once again took to staring at the wall; confusion and hurt running rampant through him again, echoing the same question again and again.
Why had Azriel kept this a secret from them? From him?
“When did he tell you?” his mate inquired.
“He didn’t,” Cassian chuckled, “I stopped at that new café by the Sidra to get some drinks to cool down while I was out for your books. I saw them together there.”
A beat of silence passed between them before Nesta barged on with her questions,
“You seem…upset about all this?”
“I am. Not at the fact that he has a girlfriend, Cauldron no. It’s about time the idiot found someone. It’s just…why didn’t he tell us? Why keep it a secret?”
“Maybe…it’s new? You know Az. Maybe he just wants some time to figure things out himself before he tells you all,” Nesta reasoned.
Cassian let out a bitter laugh before spitting out,
“It is very much not new. The two were planning their two year anniversary at the same restaurant this weekend. Two goddamn years, Nes. He’s been lying to us for that long.”
He wrenched his hand from hers at that. Cassian knew he was being unfair and unreasonable, but he was angry. Maybe he had no right to be but one does not think clearly when in the clutches of fury.
As his previous confusion and hurt settled, they left behind only anger in their wake. That is what he felt right now. Anger. At Azriel, for lying to them all this time, for hiding something so significant. Did he not consider them brothers?
Before he could succumb to the ravages of anger, his darling mate was there to pull him back, as she always did.
“I can feel all that you know. Don’t let your anger override what you know to be true. This relationship of Azriel…it has nothing to do with us. We’re not entitled to anything regarding it just because we’re his family.”
“Oh so what I’m just supposed to ignore the fact that he’s been lying to us about his whereabouts and plans for the past two years, when he could have just told us?”
“No I am asking you to trust Azriel. You know your brother, Cass, probably more than anyone else. You know that he has a reason for everything he does and you know that he would never do anything to hurt his family intentionally. If nothing else, trust in that.”
Cassian sighed a defeated sigh. His mate was right, as she always was. For whatever reason Azriel had decided to keep this relationship a secret, Cassian would have to trust in it. And when the time came, he hoped his brother would feel comfortable revealing the truth himself.
……………………………………..................................................
Little did Cassian know, that despite the fact that he had made Nesta swear not to tell Azriel’s secret, he had unintentionally revealed it to a third. For outside their bedroom clutching books she had meant to return, stood Elain. Elain, who had almost torn the books with how hard she was clutching them. Elain, who’s hands quivered with rage.
This is why Azriel had been ignoring her. All these months she had been trying to get his attention and he had always slipped away. Because of this?? Some common girlfriend?
No matter. Elain would get him back. How could he ignore her for some commoner? Who deserved his love more than her?
As she walked away, already planning her schemes, a wicked thought went through her mind, a precaution in case she couldn’t convince Azriel:
If I can’t have him, no one can.
...............................................................................................
Azriel POV:
The past few days had been the happiest he had ever been. Although Azriel wasn’t quite sure how fair that judgement was. Each hour he spent with his nightingale, he deemed his happiest. And it has been two years of such blissful happiness. Two years together at each other’s side that they were celebrating today.
He had already arrived at the same café they had breakfast a few days ago and was now anxiously awaiting his beloved girlfriend. Honestly, he would have preferred that the two arrive together, not wanting to spend a minute away from his nightingale. But alas, not everything had to be as he wished. As soon as she had woken up, his nightingale had slipped out from his arms (something he had still not forgiven) and had rushed to her book shop. According to her, she had some urgent delivery that she just had to be there for. Therefore she had promised him that she would meet him directly at the café.
That left him, sitting in their favorite spot in the café, with his head swiveling to the door every time it opened, hoping his nightingale had arrived. It wasn’t like she was late, it’s just that he too early, wanting what he hoped would be a great start to a celebration filled day.
“Oh, Azriel!”
He heard his name be called, but his heart instantly dropped, that voice did not belong to his nightingale. Turning around he saw…
“Elain? What are you doing here?”
“What a coincidence, Az! I was just out for some errands and thought I would get myself a drink. I’m absolutely parched! Thank the Cauldron for this lovely café!” Elain replied in an unusually high pitched voice.
“Yes, how lovely…” he trailed off, gaze flicking to the door. He knew his girlfriend would be arriving soon and he would much rather Elain not be here for that… for a plethora of reasons.
“Well, what are the chances of meeting you here Az? And look, you’re alone too! Why don’t we have lunch together, it feels like we haven’t caught up in forever.”
“Actually I’m meeting some…”
He never got to finish his sentence. If someone asked him later what happened, Azriel wasn’t sure he would be able to explain it. One second Elain was smiling at him, trying to grab his hand, the next her gaze turned cold, flicking to something behind him. The next thing he knew, within a matter of seconds, Elain had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and smashed her lips to his.
What. The. Fuck.
Azriel didn’t even process what had happened, didn’t even realize that she was kissing him. Elain. Was. Kissing. Him.
The last thought jolted him out of his state of shock and he pushed her away. Not caring for who saw or heard, he yelled,
“What the fuck Elain? You can’t just grab people like that! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Oh c’mon Az. It was barely a peck. I had barely begun to enjoy it,” Elain replied with a callous smirk.
All of a sudden he did not recognize her; he didn’t recognize the cruelty in her eyes, the indifference in her expression. Where was the kind hearted woman he considered a friend? And who was standing in front of him in her place? When he didn’t say anything, still riddled with shock, Elain continued,
“Well no matter. It may have been short but it achieved it’s purpose,” Elain replied slyly. She inched closer and grazed her hand up his arm and whispered, “if you want to continue, I would gladly indulge you, Azriel.”
He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her, why she was doing this, in a crowded café no less. But Azriel was way too uncomfortable to try to find out. He wrenched his arm away from her and was about to give her a piece of his mind when he saw it again: Elain’s gaze flickering to something behind him with a wicked smirk on her face. One of victory.
Hoping against hope it wasn’t what he feared it was, Azriel turned around. And it was like time itself had stopped. For there, at the entrance of the café, with tears streaming down her face, stood his girlfriend, his nightingale. A millennia could pass and Azriel would not forget the raw pain, the betrayal shining in her eyes amidst the tears.
No. No. No. No. No. This is not happening. This cannot be happening.
He took one step toward her, to explain, to make her understand he had no fault in what she had seen. But before he could, his nightingale turned around and left the café.
Not knowing what to do, Azriel followed after her to see her almost running away from him.
“Love! Please! Listen to me, its not what it looks like,” Azriel begged, anguish lacing every word.
“Oh please Azriel. Do you know how typical you sound right now?” He did, Cauldron he did. But she had to understand…
“Darling I would never hurt you like that. I don’t even know why she was there… or how… but you have to understand… she kissed me! I pulled away… I would never do that to you,” Azriel let out. He knew his fragmented thoughts probably didn’t make much sense. But panic and fear were making it difficult to come up with something cohesive.
“Really, Azriel? You don’t know what she was doing there?! For Cauldron sake, Azriel! I know you called her there. You know, if you wanted to break up with me, you should have done it yourself like a man. You didn’t have to use her for it!” his nightingale spat at him.
What? Break up with her? Break up with the one blessing the Mother had bestowed upon him? What the hell was she talking about?
“Love… I don’t…”
“You don’t what? Huh? Have any need for me anymore? Well you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way, please go enjoy your life with your darling Elain?” His girlfriend yelled, throwing out Elain’s name like it was poison.
Vaguely he sensed Elain coming up behind them. How did she catch up with them? His love spat out a wry laugh, before saying,
“Look, she’s here to get you Azriel. Go be with your love.”
Before he could refute it, Elain jumped in,
“Its okay, Azriel. I told her everything. She’s not in the way anymore. We can be together now!”
“Elain, have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this? You-”
“Cut the act Azriel. Go. Enjoy your life.”
And with that his nightingale walked away for good, taking the shattered pieces of his heart and soul with her.
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Azriel stood in that spot like a blubbering fish for Cauldron knows how long. He was smarter than this. He was quicker than this. He knew that. But for some reason his mind felt addled, like it was submerged in some murky fog. He couldn’t think straight for some reason.
What the fuck had just happened? Did it truly happen? No, it had to be a nightmare. It had to be. He didn’t just lose the love of his life. He didn’t. He wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Azriel had almost convinced himself of his own delusion, when Elain’s rustling snapped him out of his daze. The woman had the gall to walk away after everything she just did. Not so fast. He grabbed her by the arm and yelled in her face, propriety and etiquette long forgotten,
“WHAT THE FUCK ELAIN? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?”
She wrenched her arm back and held her head up high when responding, as if she just had just committed some honorable deed,
“I did what I had to. You were never there Azriel. I always tried to talk to you… but you were never there. And to find out that it’s because of her! Some commoner! I couldn’t bear it. But she’s not here anymore, Azriel, we can be together!”
“What?! Are you hearing yourself Elain? I don't love you! Not like that, I never have-”
“BUT I LOVE YOU! WHY ISN’TTHAT ENOUGH!” Elain screamed back.
“You’re out of your mind. You… how did you even find out?”
“Cassian told me,” Elain replied calmly, her demeanor immediately changing. There was something seriously wrong with her.
But her words were what caused his world to stop spinning.
“What?”
“Cassian told me. He saw the two of you together the other day and told me that I would find you here today as well.”
His mind was reeling. Cassian knew too? How? He had been so careful with everything? How had it slipped past him so easily?
Elain patted his shoulder one last time before saying,
“We’re meant to be together, Azriel. I love you so much that I’ll ignore this commoner you were sullying yourself with. She might have left you. But I’m always here for you with open arms.”
And then Elain left, simply and quietly. As if she had not sentenced Azriel to a life without the one happiness he had salvaged for himself in this cruel world.
..........................................................................................
Cassian POV:
Cassian had been sharpening his blades in the training arena, waiting for the Valkyries to arrive, when he felt the wards shift. Someone had winnowed in. Before he could question who it was, he saw Azriel standing at the entrance.
Despite Nesta’s words, his immediate reaction at seeing his brother was one of annoyance. He doubted Azriel was here to confess so the continuing secrecy bothered him even now.
Any rant or anger that Cassian was planning on letting out, disappeared as he neared his brother. Azriel had tears streaming freely down his face, shoulders shaking from the sobs.
“How could you?”
Was all his brother let out. Cassian was at a complete loss for words. His brave stoic brother was falling apart before him and Cassian knew neither cause nor cure. His lion hearted brother who had bared five centuries of pain and trials and had never let out even a wince. And now… It seemed like something was tearing Azriel apart into shreds.
“Az, what’s wrong? I-
“How could you?” Azriel repeated, his sobs getting more and more violent. And each falling tear fell like acid on Cassian’s heart. All previous annoyance was replaced by an overwhelming urge to soothe and comfort.
“How could you? What did I ever do to you?” Azriel cried out again.
“Az… brother… I have no idea…”
“Oh don’t act stupid. Don’t act like you don’t know about my girlfriend!”
Oh. That is what this was about? Azriel knew that he knew? But why was he so upset about it? Cassian didn’t think him finding out warranted such a reaction-
“You knew and you send Elain there to ruin everything!”
What? Elain? What did she have anything to do with this?
“You ruined everything! My nightingale… she’s gone… she won’t even talk to me… She won’t look at me… And it’s all your fault!” Azriel let out in between hiccups of tears.
Cassian knew he had to intervene before Azriel spiraled into a full panic attack.
“Brother, calm down. Alright, yes I saw the two of you at the café, but I only told Nesta, I swear on it. I have no idea what you’re talking about, or what Elain has to do with anything.”
Azriel moved further away from him. The utter betrayal shining in his eyes made Cassian want to bury himself in the darkest corner of the world. He did not know what his fault was but he was ready to spend eternity atoning for it if it meant Azriel would no longer be in the pain he was so clearly in.
“DO NOT LIE TO ME!” Azriel roared, leaving Cassian stunned, “ You did this! You couldn’t bear it, could you? You couldn’t stand the fact that I was happy so you sent Elain to ruin everything. You always do this, you always have to take everything away from me!”
Before Cassian could ask for an explanation or beg for forgiveness for a crime he did not know, Azriel had winnowed away.
Alone, his mind was working on overdrive. What did Elain have to do with anything? Cassian was no fool. He had long been aware of the youngest Archeron sister’s affections for his brother. But he also knew his brother had never reciprocated those affections, had always seen Elain as nothing more than a friend.
How did she know about Azriel’s relationship? Nesta could not have told her. Despite how close the two sisters were, his mate had sworn to him and he knew Nesta enough to know that she did not go back on an oath. Had Elain somehow overheard them? And if she had, what could she possibly have done to cause Azriel so much pain?
So many questions were whirring through his head, not one of them had a coherent answer. But amidst the chaos, a singular thought rang the loudest, and it was one that pierced Cassian’s heart:
What have I done?
#azriel×reader#azriel x oc#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader#azriel headcanons#azriel x y/n#azriel#acotar headcanon#acotar fic#acotar x you#acotar x reader
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there was that one poll that established that Most people here would use a death note so i'm curious about How Much you'd use your death note.
"kitkat these brackets are shit" yeah i'm not a scientist i'm just a vindictive bitch who loves drama.
people on that one poll named a lot of names though and i'm assuming a lot of the people naming names were american and as an american who knows how online rhetoric is construed by american law enforcement that STRESSES ME THE FUCK OUT. DO NOT SAY NAMES ON THIS POST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
but. tell me. how's ur bloodlust treating you.
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