#Neil gonna dick you down Josten

[chryseiswriting-blog]

Neil: No, but I would ask him why you’re not medicated.

Everyone else: *shook*

Andrew: *internally* Mm. That’s hot.

[inadvisablebutinevitable]

hellooo how would you rank the aftg characters personally? like in order of favorite to least favorite?

bestie I actually wrote a whole thesis essay response before realizing how unhinged it is so here is the abridged version: (note this is all for the canon versions of these characters, fanon ratings would probably be different)

Neil Josten

David Wymack

Nicky Hemmick (I know I know but it will take me 1000000 years to explain all my Nicky thoughts)

Kevin Day

Matt Boyd

Andrew Minyard (WHY IS HE THIS LOW?? Guys I don’t know I do love him I promise I would do anything for him)

Allison Reynolds

Jean Moreau (once again should be higher I love him I do)

Danielle Wilds (her and Allison could also swap places and I’d still be like “yeah that’s right” bc I love them both)

Catalina Alvarez (my fave tsc character besides Jean she means everything to me you don’t understand)

Jeremy Knox (I love him I do I just know nothing abt him)

Renee Walker (it physically hurts me to put her this low I love her so much I would die for her)

Laila Dermott

Aaron Minyard (don’t come at me pls I like him and I love fanon Aaron I just wasn’t Aaron’s number one fan in canon but I still have so much love and respect for him I swear)

Seth Gordon

I don’t really hate any of these characters I swear (except Riko he’s ranked so low he didn’t deserve a spot on the list) ((he’s a compelling villain tho)) (((Tetsuji is ranked like -100000000 I will never forgive Tetsuji ever)))

if you really want my never ending thoughts here they are under the cut:

warning for a long ass post I’m so sorry because sometimes even I can’t focus enough to read my own long posts

I have spent so long staring at this ask and trying to figure out how I can pit my children against each other but here is my best try: (this is in order of how much I enjoyed their characters personally when I was reading. The list would prob be different if I was ranking them as people and not as characters):

Neil Josten. It’s always gonna be Neil I’m sorry. Recency bias means that I’m currently thinking (and posting) abt Jean 24/7 but Neil Josten will always take the cake for me in ways I can’t even articulate. His dry humour and narrative choices always have me in stitches. He’s got so much trauma but he doesn’t want to do anything about it but push it down until he meets people he cares about and they found family him into actually healing. He cares so deeply and loves in such a subtle but incredibly strong way. I don’t know how to even express this without saying that the reason I can’t put aftg down every time I pick it up is because of Neil. He tells the story in a way that makes me want to know everything about literally every scene. It’s all Nora ofc but the personality between the lines is how I define “Neil” and I will never not love it. You’ve got me going and now I’m not gonna stop. I can’t even apologize for the length bc I will never apologize for yapping about Neil Josten I say that shit with my FULL CHEST

David Wymack. Do I even have to explain myself here? Those are his fucking KIDS and he would do ANYTHING for them while being a SASSY LITTLE SHIT about it the whole time plus he’s a DILF I would kill and die for him.

Nicky Hemmick don't shoot me pls LOOK do I think what he did to Neil in Edens was at all ok? Absolutely not. When I first read tfc I was HARDCORE hating on Nicky and then trk and tkm made him one of my favourite characters. I don’t think he’s perfect but I love the way he loves. It isn’t hard for him, none of the monsters had to prove themselves to Nicky, or even try to be a decent friend for Nicky to automatically decide that these were his people and that he cares about them. When we meet him Aaron is a homophobic dick to him and Andrew literally pulls a knife on him and yet we immediately find out that he willingly dropped everything and moved an ocean away from his home and his boyfriend to raise them both in the US and not ONCE does he act like he seriously regrets it. Me? I would be holding that shit over their heads every time they act disrespectful but for Nicky loving them despite the shit they put him through is not even a question. It’s not even just the twins too. That one scene where Neil asks “are we? Friends?” And Nicky is SO SHOCKED that Neil didn’t know and goes “oh kiddo of course!!” is my Roman Empire. Plus he’s hilarious obviously.

Kevin Day guys I love him ok, the first two books he compelled me but TKM he POPPED OFF. “I’ve never been skiiing” BANGER “I’m gonna be the deadliest piece on the board” GOOSEBUMPS, “My father comes to all my games” HAD ME IN TEARS. Don’t even get me STARTED on that sexy ass racquet hand switch at championships I’m going to combust. I love that he’s literally obsessed with exy and has the most complicated relationships with the mc’s of every book and yet steals the show every time. Kevin Day I love you.

Matt Boyd. I love him because he would love me for putting Neil first and kill me for not putting Dan before him. He loves his girlfriend and his homies and his sport and cars in that order. He’s a golden retriever who saw a team full of scary-ass wolves and still tries to be friends with them. He wasn’t a part of the “clique” that Neil was in but he did not let that affect his perception or love for Neil in any way. He’s been to hell and came out with just as much love in his heart as he did when he came in. He told Neil that he didn’t know if Andrew would be good for him but then he saw that Andrew fought Kevin for him and decided that he approved bc all that mattered to him was that Neil had someone who would defend him the way Matt would. Then he immediately becomes the #1 wingman right before the shower scene bc he would rather die than cockblock his homie. I love him so much

Andrew Minyard. Like Nicky, I was absolutely a HATER in book one and then he became one of my faves. I like that he’s brave and determined, standing despite everything when the world tried to put him down, but not without his flaws. I really appreciate that Andrew isn’t perfect, he struggles, he’s violent when it’s necessary and sometimes when it’s not. I love how he was always willing to protect Neil, despite everything in him telling him that Neil couldn’t be trusted. He’s a flawed man, but at his core, a good one.

Allison Reynolds is that girl. She reminds me of Andrew (both of them would kill me for saying that) because she takes no shit and gives no fucks. She’s who 16 year old me wanted to be when I grew up. She goes through every emotion in these books and comes out full of righteous anger and uses that to kick the raven’s ASSES and I’m so here for that

Jean Moreau. It’s weird to me that he’s so low because I love him he’s my special boy. I thought that he was interesting in TRK but Riko was a more compelling villain to me. Then ofc we learn that he was never meant to be the villain and he was ranked just below Kevin for me because I just wanted him to be happy. Then tsc happened and he became my hyper fixation. He has a VERY similar sense of humor as Neil except for Neil his jokes were directed at abnormal behaviour, and for Jean he just gets so appalled at the most normal things. I digress about his humor I love Jean and if u want to know why just read literally any of my posts

Danielle Wilds is my GIRL. Her story compels me so much and I really wish we got more backstory for her (obvs we got plenty considering the cast of characters is so huge but still… I want more). She loves her team so much despite everything and she works so hard to keep them together I wanna give her a hug and a kiss. (That scene in TKM right after Andrew breaks Riko’s arm Dan was the FIRST one to find Neil and she was so concerned about him she cares about him so much STOP they’re FAMILY I LOVE THEM)

Catalina Alvarez was my favourite character in tsc (aside from Jean) because I love her so much. @theresalwaysafiresomewhere said that cat reminds her of me and it was still to this day the best compliment I’ve ever received. I cannot name a single thing abt cat I don’t like so I’m just gonna keep going.

Jeremy Knox is only this low bc I still know nothing about this man. Reading his pov and seeing him thru Jean’s eyes was helpful in securing him a spot in my list of faves tho, I want to know everything about him please Nora please

Renee Walker also should not be this low it physically hurts me to put her here but like most other characters in this half of the list, she didn’t compel me as much until tkm. Just a personal thing I guess. I do love her though and I wish she got more time with Jean. It still bothers me that she loved Jean but was the bigger person about it and knew that they weren’t at the right place in their lives, and yet we don’t get to see how making this decision affects her. I think she deserves to be loved more. I hope she gets a happy ending the same way Jean does.

Laila Dermott I love her I just don’t really know enough abt her

Aaron Minyard I like him I promise I do he’s got some of the best one-liners! He killed drake did all that in college with an gf and all the power to him but really I think that fanon aaron just appealed to me way more. Canon Aaron just annoyed me because— gunshots actually you know what maybe it’s once again because unreliable narrator Neil hated him and Neil’s my fave so I had to be a hater too 😔

Seth. I know some fans love him and I respect that but I just… idk I don’t see the appeal. Fanon Seth is great tho I’m a fan.

Canon Thea is somewhere on this list near Laila again bc I love her but I don’t know enough about her to be like “yeah she’s my fave”. The version of Thea I created in my head based on the crumbs the books and the ec gave us, on the other hand… she’d probably be somewhere up there with Kevin

[altruistic-meme]

AFTG fic recs

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :) 

Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!

WIPs

Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )

Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski

Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.

Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*

Chapters: 8/9

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil, 

--

Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )

This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.

Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?

This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,

--

the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty  )

Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.

At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.

-

Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!

The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!! 

Chapters: 10/11

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon typical violence, 

--

The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )

Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.

For this was a house full of monsters.

Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic. 

Chapters: 6/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries, 

--

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary​ )

Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?

But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.

Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters

Chapters: 14/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, 

~~~~~~~~~

Complete

The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.

So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.

-

Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.

I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point, 

-- 

that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )

Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’

Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too

Chapters: 24/24

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)

--

The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.

How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.

-

Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.

Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring, 

-- 

This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )

“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”

Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”

—

Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.

A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh 

Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.

He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.

Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.

But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.

 A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.

Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about

Chapters: 12/12

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

--

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic. 

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites ​ )

Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…

This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)

Chapters: 8/8

Rating: Mature

Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”

-----

Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.

Chapters: 36/36

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher, 

Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.

[jsteneil]

Neil Josten’s Birthday Bash

in which the foxes don’t get anything done, ever

 *

Nicky added Dan, Kevin, Aaron and three others to “Neil Josten's Birthday Bash Organization Committee”.

Nicky: can't add Andrew because he still owns a FLIP PHONE but here we go

Dan: hell yeah B-)

Nicky: kevin can fill him in with the details anyway

Kevin: why me?

Allison: because you live with him?

Matt: you're practically attached at the hip

Dan: omg ur roomm8s

Matt: ^^^ what allison said

Dan: yeah

Nicky: OR aaron can do it on wednesdays so that there's no chance of neil finding out :D

Aaron: no.

Aaron left the chat.

Nicky: what

Nicky: the

Kevin: just add him back

Nicky: fuck

Kevin: ffs

Kevin: some ppl are in class

Nicky added Aaron to the chat.

Aaron: im muting you all

Allison: just embrace the fact that you've lived in SC for years and say y'all

Nicky: y'all!!!

Nicky: yeah

Matt: dude don't how are u gonna know when to buy your coordinated outfit and rehearse the choreography if you mute us

Dan: Aaron?

Renee: I do think he muted us

Allison: fuck a crybaby

Nicky: hey

Allison: what's he gonna do? Unmute us?

Dan: asdhskfjdl ALLI

Matt: lmfao

Nicky: moving ON

Nicky: the important thing here is my boy neil's birthday

Kevin: and you wonder why Aaron left

Nicky: what?

Kevin: maybe Neil doesn't want to celebrate his bday

Nicky: no that's too sad

Nicky: next person?

Allison: not to be that bitch

Matt: oh?

Allison: but do we even know when his birthday is?

Allison: fuck you matthew donovan boyd

Matt: sorry i love you

Dan: it was easy

Dan: matt ur easy

Matt: ily babe

Dan: <3

Kevin: jan 19th

Renee: March 31st?

Allison: wait

Dan: uhhhh

Matt: Neil Josten deserves 2 bdayz

Kevin: no jan 19th

Renee: oh i thought we were using the one he chose for himself

Matt: Renee add a smiley face

Renee: :)

Renee: ?

Dan: babe ur mind,,,, im crying

Matt: ikr

Allison: stop using mygf so

Kevin: is it me or does it sound really passive aggressive bitchy with a smiley face

Dan: ye that's the point

Renee: I really wasn't trying to be

Matt: oh no we know, sorry

Matt: i feel bad now

Matt: it was just funny

Matt: sorry

Dan: :(

Renee: It's okay, don’t worry

Renee: :)

Dan: renee STOP i feel like ur going 2 murder me in my sleep

Renee: I could, but I won't

Nicky: im shaking and im not even in your dorm

Allison: and we daily thank god for that

Nicky: hey im an excellent roommate

Nicky: i always leave so cap and matt can have sexy times

Dan: yeah but then u call it sexy time

Allison: ive seen the bathroom nicky

Nicky: that's aaron

Matt: l o l

Kevin: aaron's a neat freak

Allison: exposed

Nicky: erik come get me the people here are mean

Renee: So when's Neil's actual birthday?

Kevin: jan 19th

Nicky: who's gonna ask andrew?

Kevin: HE HAS REAL PAPERS NOW

Kevin: JUST GO CHECK AND LET ME BE IN CLASS IN PEACE

Allison: well okay drama queen

Dan: kevin: *is on the chat as much as us*

Dan: also kevin: guys why r u dragging me here

Matt: it's okay kevin we can talk about it during practice

Renee: Don't goad him, Matt

Dan: lmfao babe u thought

Matt: uh oh

Allison: lol

Dan: we need 2 trounce the ravens nxt wk

Nicky: do we have to

Dan: y'all r hauling ass @ practice or god help me

Nicky: id settle for a close victory

Matt: nicky if you don't help us close the goal next friday im telling neil about his surprise

Nicky: noooooo :'(

Allison: ye renee has enough to do without having to face stuff y'all should have blocked

Renee: Andrew is also a goalkeeper

Allison: yeah but he doesn't give a fuck

Renee: That's neither true nor fair

Dan: i want bragging rights over this vctry, end of the question

Matt: are we just gonna ignore the fact that the fbi chose neil's old bday

Matt: even tho they made him a new identity

Allison: wonder how this conversation went

Nicky: are we ignoring the fact that neil is a goddamn CAPRICORN

Allison: "in my left hand is your birthday date. In my right hand is your other birthday" *shuffles behind his back*

Matt: idk about astrology but I checked and he tried to pass for an aries so what does that tell us?

Dan: shut up adfhskdjs

Nicky: im dying

Kevin: [attached picture]

Matt: did u steal neil's ID

Allison: i thought you were in class

Kevin: he sent it to me

Nicky: his phone can take pics??

Dan: RLY crappy 1s but yeah

Nicky: so all those times andrew refused to send me pics of his Eden’s Twilight's outfits so i could coordinate neil's…

Matt: :/

Kevin: he just doesn't like you

Allison: i would have laughed but you two have been fighting the good fight since last year, dressing neil up

Nicky: hey

Renee: Kevin, that was mean

Nicky: but thanx allison, I think so too

Kevin: sorry

Kevin: he's just difficult?

Nicky: yeah :(

Dan: omg u guys rmr when neil was on k ferdinand's show n he looked like a bite-sized snack in that shirt

Kevin: not exactly what I remember from this interview

Dan: u were pretty 2 <3

Kevin: oh my god

Renee: Didn't Neil keep the clothes?

Nicky: i've never seen him wear them again

Nicky: maybe he STUFFED THEM DOWN THE TOILET

Matt: uh okay

Allison: weird emphasis

Kevin: are you still stuck on that

Dan: what

Kevin: it's what happened with the clothes he wore the first time we went to columbia

Nicky: do you know how expensive that plumber was?

Matt: just a thought but maybe that wouldn't have happened if you didn't force him to come with you and drugged him against his will

Allison: don't tell me someone actually peed on them and tried to flush

Nicky: take it up with andrew

Matt: you literally drove the car

Kevin: what happened in columbia stays in columbia

Allison: omg oh my god

Dan: IM SCREAMING

Nicky: what was i supposed to do, get knifed?

Nicky: also ^^^^ yeah.

Nicky: ANYWAY

Nicky: now that Kevin got us proof that the FBI officially made neil a capricorn again,,

Dan: the fbi be like "oh u thought u could escape ur traumatic past? That's nice buddy

Matt: yeah I don't think beating last year's party is gonna be hard

Dan: here's ur bday n trauma back"

Nicky: HAPPY THOUGHTS

Nicky: :(

Nicky: anyway it's the big 21st, so the first thing in order is BOOZE

Kevin: uh nicky

Renee: He's turning 20?

Matt: what???

Kevin: yeah he aged himself up on his fake papers

Matt: oh my god

Dan: lmfao only neil

Nicky: he is baby

Matt: does. Does he know though. Like did he check when they made him the papers.

Kevin: I'm guessing so

Matt: imagine filling a form or smth and you get the day right but not the year

Renee: Wait Kevin, how did you get neil to send you the pic without telling him about the surprise party?

Nicky: DON'T YOU DARE HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT THE NJBB

Allison: njbb?

Dan: neil josten's bday bash, im guessing

Nicky: Neil Josten's

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Nicky: yes

Allison: it doesn’t sound right

Allison: like, something’s missing in the name

Matt: alli we play a sport named after what you get when you take the s from sexy

Dan: 10 bux kevin wishes he didn't have such a stick up his butt so he could reply with exy is sexy

Allison: im not taking that

Kevin: i actually don't know why she named it that

Kevin: she never told the press and she didn't write it anywhere so

Nicky: :(

Allison: oh

Dan: sorry :(

Renee: Maybe coach knows?

Matt: maybe each letter has a meaning

Kevin: how?

Allison: endangering xylophones yearly?

Matt: EXceptional daY

Matt: and then, boom, it's about your name

Renee: Matt, I like that idea!

Dan: allison, no

Kevin: I'll have to ask coach, renee

Kevin: anyway it was always going to be her name, she invented it

Nicky: someone bring neil in so he can say something super serious about how kevin is a legendary striker whose name is already associated with exy and make us choke with emotion

Kevin: nicky….

Nicky: look it's working and he's not even there

Allison: it's the josten effect

Dan: changing your entire life's beliefs one extremely tragic remark at a time

Matt:...

Matt: someone change the subject im sad

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Kevin: oh yeah nicky asked me how i got neil's ID

Allison: and?

Kevin: i told him i signed him up for his own exynews account so he could stop hogging mine for streaming

Kevin: so i needed his name and birthday

Kevin: and then we got into an argument about date formats

Nicky: dd/mm/yy 4ever

Allison: eww

Kevin: so he sent me a pic instead of writing the date

Dan: it's the european propaganda getting to him

Kevin: i guess i really have to get him an account now

Dan: kevin i know you're entirely serious but that's so funny

Nicky: THE REST OF THE WORLD USES IT

Matt: admit it, you can't wait to go back to Germany because you secretly like the metric system

Nicky: yeah dicks sound bigger if you use centimeters

Dan: didn't need 2 know that

Nicky: not that erik needs that :)

Dan: I DON'T WANNA KNOW

Renee: ….

Matt: honestly im glad i don't understand german or i would never live down all the skyping

Dan: renee's like "can't relate" lmfao

Renee: No indeed

Allison: hell yeah that's my girlfriend

Renee: <3

Allison: hey minyard if you're secretly lurking now is the time to leave

Allison: …

Renee: No, he truly muted us earlier

Dan: are we surprised?

Renee: we'll catch him up on what we decide to do later

Renee: Nicky?

Nicky: oh, yeah!!!

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Matt: here we go again

Dan: mamma mia

[marmelade-sky]

@fox-sleeping-minyard YOU get to post your grand masterpiece of art work. 

also, guys, you can still prompt me aftg and trc stuff :) thanks for over 1000 followers!

“Is he asleep?” 

Neil turns the lights in the dorm’s living room on. Kevin, sprawled out on his back on the carpet, doesn’t even flinch. There’s a little bit of drool clinging to the side of his cheek. 

“Maybe he’s dead.” Andrew doesn’t sound all that worried when he pushes Neil to the side to enter the living room, too, nudging Kevin with his socked foot. 

Kevin suddenly snores and chockes on his saliva in his sleep. His hand twitches a little, but that’s it. 

“Nah, just asleep.”  Andrew looks down at their Queen with a bored look on his face. 

“And now?”, Neil asks. Getting Kevin to bed like this is impossible. He is way too heavy, and neither of them want to risk being thrown up on. 

Andrew is quiet for a moment, eyes still on Kevin’s fucked up form on the ground by his feet. 

“And now...”, he says after a long moment. “...grab that marker over there on the desk.”

- 

The girls’ door opens after a few heavy knocks.

It’s Allison who opens it, rocking a hot pink adidas sweatsuit, her hair in a messy bun. The moment she spots Andrew on the other side of the door, she half-turns back into the room, calling out “Renee, it’s for you.”

“I’m not here for Renee.”, Andrew tells her before she can step away, “Do you have any of those leg waxing things?” 

Allison’s brows shoot up so high that they almost touch her hairline. “What the fuck are you gonna do with wax strips, Minyard?!” 

Behind her, Renee comes up in her pyjamas, giving him a sleepy smile. 

“Give me one and I’ll show you.”, he tells Allison. 

-

“Oh! Oh, yes!” Allison sounds absolutely delighted, and her manicured nails are already clicking against the touchscreen of her phone to open the camera app. 

Renee leans in the doorway, watching the whole thing with a mild, almost chiding, yet amused smile on her face. “Nice art work, Neil.”

“Thanks.” Neil is finishing a trail of fox paws up Kevin’s right cheek. His left cheek is already decorated with a few whiskers. 

“Draw a dick.”, Andrew grunts. He’s been rubbing the wax strip between his hands for about half a minute now. 

Neil snorts, but he’s already lowering the marker on Kevin’s forehead, slowly drawing two balls and a thick, slightly curved dick. 

“You’re truly the next Picasso.”,  Andrew says flatly, and pulls the wax strip apart slowly. 

Allison is filming the whole thing, squatting by Kevin’s feet so she can get the whole picture. 

“You finished?”, Andrew asks.

“Yup.” Neil adds two wings to the dick, and then clicks the marker shut. 

Andrew slowly presses the wax strip down on Kevin’s leg, watching his face while he does. Kevin’s cheek twitches, but that’s it. 

The room falls quiet. They’re focused on this. 

“Three...” Andrew grabs the lower edge of the wax strip-

“Two...” Neil moves away from Kevin a little. Allison slaps a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. Renee scoffs. 

“One!” Andrew rips the wax strip away, taking a broad patch of hair off Kevin’s leg as he does. 

 Kevin jolts awake, wide-eyed and obviously shocked, scrambling and grabbing his leg. “WHAT THE FUCK!” 

All of them are wheezing right now, even Andrew is laughing, having fallen back hard onto his ass, the strip in his hand like a prize.

“WHAT THE FUCK, ANDREW!”, Kevin repeats, stumbling to his feet. Allison is howling with laughter, but still filming the whole thing like a trooper. 

“YOU ASSHOLES!”, Kevin screams, trying to get a look at his leg- he suddenly seems quite sober, actually. 

Neil is laughing so hard that he’s crying, tears streaming down his face.

“STOP LAUGHING!”, Kevin barks at him, and then, he spots the marker by Neil’s side. “I HATE YOU ALL!” 

He almost falls on the way to the bathroom ( “Allison, did you get that?!”), slamming the door shut behind him.

There’s a beat of silence, and then-

“NEIL FUCKING JOSTEN I WILL STRANGLE YOU!” 

-

It takes over a week for Kevin to talk to them again.

It takes four days for him to wash all that marker off entirely. 

It takes a month for all of his leg hair to grow back normally.

And it takes ten minutes for a video called “Never fall asleep around your college roommates!” on Instagram to become viral. 

[ronanlyncx]

the best parts of the dream thieves (featuring me crying pt. 2)

part one

- “Ronan was everything that was left: molten eyes and a smile made for war” 

- Ronan’s second secret #gay

- Gansey: “i would have thought you had more muscles. Don’t feminist have big muscles?” i just want to punch him can someone please punch him

- gansey calling ronan an incredible creature #gay 

- “The elderly made ronan anxious” bitch me too!!!

- Ronan wanting to race kavinsky in the pig and adam is like dude no there is like 5 people in here we weigh too much and ronan goes: “noah doesn’t count” “Hey!” “You’re dead!” i love these nerds

- Gansey: “am I in your dreams?” Ronan: “Oh yes, baby” i hate him jsjksksk

- “Ronan sometimes dreamt of Adam, too” #gay

- Gansey and Ronan going to get orange juice at 3:32 am 

- “Unlike some people, my sense of worth isn’t tied into my occupation.” “Ooooooh,” Orla crowed… she traded her Henrietta accent for a gloriously snotty version of the Old South. “Someone’s been hanging out with Richard Campbell Gansey the third too much.” orla just came for blue��s life holy shit 

- “Jane!” “It’s a wizard in box.” “It will do your homework.” “And it’s been dating your girlfriend.” “Are you all drunk?” hey quick question wtf am i reading

- “Why is the tea so good here?” “I spit in it” Blue Sargent is an icon

“Blue Sargent was pretty in a way that was physically painful to him. He was attracted to her like a heart attack.” not to sound like a cheesy white lady or anything but this shit breathtaking bro

- “What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam?… Freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.” PROTECT THIS ANGEL GET HIM SOME TOILET PAPER WTF (also notice how what he wants continues to drop in difficulty to acquire this is so sad i’m literally a mess) 

- “You be careful, Adam Parrish. ‘Cause one day you might get what you ask for. There might be girls in Henrietta who’ll let you talk to them like that, but i’m not one of them.” i really love this woman

- “He [Gansey] was bare-legged and sockless in his Top-Siders and very clearly a real human, an attainable human, and this, somehow, made Ronan want to smash his fist through a wall” #gay

-  “Adam thinks he saw an apparition at his place” Ronan eyed Noah, “I’m seeing an apparition right now.” this entire relationship is just ronan roasting noah have you ever seen anything so pure

- Noah freaking out about the glitter in the snowglobe #angel

- Ronan paying Adam’s rent i am alive

- Gansey comparing Blue to a platypus

- “He threw me out the window!” “You’re already dead!” amazing

- Blue wanting to get Adam high so he can relax seriously someone let this boy take a nap

- Noah: “Is crack the same thing as speed?” 

- Ashley not going into St. Agnes bc she “refuses to participate in a ceremony that doesn’t allow equal spiritual privileges to women”  NICE

- Ronan dreaming kavinsky a replica of his white sunglasses after kavinsky gave him a copy of ronan’s leather bands #pettygay

- “and he was the boy with the most beautifully interesting car and the most savagely handsome of friends, Ronan Lynch” #gay

- Gansey: “I love this car. I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one and fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be by kitchen, I’ll live in one…” what...the fuck

- Declan coming to give gansey a new battery for the pig and Ronan actually doing the most™ “He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.” this is so extra omfgggg

- “His [Declan’s] gaze followed his brother’s leg to where it rested on top of Adam’s, and his expression tightened.” dude ronan even your brother is noticing your crush u gotta do better

- Gansey thinking that Ronan tried to kill himself after all this time and then finding out that Ronan was attacked by a dream demon thing #shook

- Gansey and Ronan fighting a different dream demon thing with a box cutter and a crowbar how are these children alive 

- “She [Blue] wore a dress Ronan thought looked like a lampshade. Whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, Gansey clearly wished he had one. Ronan wasn’t a fan of lamps.” This is the least subtle homosexuality metaphor i have ever read in my life (also: Gansey crushing on Blue #nice)

- refer to this post 

- “Let’s just go on before Gansey has time to say something that makes me hate him” lmao

- “The air was stained permanently with the pleasant odor of Ronan’s childhood: hickory smoke and boxwood, grass and seed and lemon cleaner. ‘I remember,’ Gansey said thoughtfully to Ronan, ‘when you used to smell like this’” #gay

- Dream toaster

- “I am being perfectly fucking civil” #iconic

- “Don’t fucking swear” #iconic pt 2

- Calla preforming arial yoga through the continuation of Ronan’s reading 

- The entire time they are on the boat adam and gansey have the biggest hard-ons for orla and blue wants to die/kill them and ronan is disgusted 

- ronan complains about the heat like 600 times i love my dramatic son

- Gansey finding the skin of blue’s calf more “tantalizing” than orla’s entire torso boiiiii if u dont get!!!!!

- “Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes.” she’s doing god’s work

- “He was struck by what a glorious and fearless animal Blue Sargent was.” I’m emo

- “Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence.” The fact that adam calms gansey down is so pure and i cannot believe this is canon (also: blue also calms gansey down... i love my bisexual son)

- Gansey being badass asf when him and ronan go to confront kavinsky about breaking in the apartment and ronan going super heart-eyes 

- also i am convinced that this scene is dick’s bi awakening

- “…Gansey leaving for D.C. without him was unbearable. They had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reason’s why he couldn’t say it” #GAY

- “While i’m gone, dream me the world. Something new for every night.” #REALLYGAY

- no one in fox way can work a cellphone maura literally had to get blue to make the gray man’s voicemail work

- Ronan blowing a kiss to gansey and adam when they are flying away in the helicopter i fucking hate him jsjsjs

- Helen asking if Adam wants to go into the whole foods with her and adam just stares at her. me too buddy

- “’Pigmy Pouters. Feisty ones!’ Gansey mouthed Blue at Adam. Adam let out a little wail of helpless laughter.” adam parrish laughing: a concept

-  Blue finally admitting to herself that she likes Gansey while laying in his bed

- “I’d ask you out, if i was alive” “i’d say yes” :(((((

- the fact that adam’s dad actually pushed my manz down the stairs at one point i will personally fight robert parrish

- “This is Adam Parrish. Shake his hand. He’s more clever than I am. One day we’ll be throwing one of these shindigs for him.” MY HEART

- Adam literally filling up a whole page describing helen #bi

- when helen asks why ronan wasn’t with them, adam and gansey both get the mental image of the house burning down lmao

- “you gonna race with those shades on, you Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit?” he’s so elegant with words!!!1111!!!

- Ronan thinking Kavinsky is beautiful um this is gross but #gay 

- Gansey calling Blue to calm him down just because she makes him feel “uneven and shattered” im fucking emo

- Kavinsky calling gansey literally anything BUT his name: “Dick three” “dick dick dick” “Dickie”

- Ronan figuring out how to master his dreams and then leaving kavinsky #scammer

- to be honest i cannot believe helen and gansey managed to convince adam about the hondoyota with the literal SKIT they used 

- “HEY, OLD MAN!” “Ronan!” ANGELS

- ronan apologizing for wrecking the pig and Gansey actually not believing his ears.

- “Hey, Churchill tried to negotiate with hitler.” “Did he?” don’t argue with boat shoe about history this man will rip you to shreds

- pink switchblade

- “Times circular, chicken”

- BLUE GOING OFF ON ADAM IM JUST ABOUT TO QUOTE THE WHOLE ROAST

- THE WHOLE ROAST: “Politics! I have no interest. Voting? What? I forgot my apron. I think I ought to be in the kitchen right now, actually. My rolling pin-” “i didn’t know that you-” “thats my point! did it even occur to you? You wouldn’t have gone someplace without Gansey, though. You two make a grand couple! kiss him! (lmao) Well, i don’t want to be just someone to kiss. I want to be a real friend, too. Not just someone who’s fun to have around because- because I have breast!” GO OFF BITCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Adam calling Blue a raging feminist like do boys not know that this is a complement like yes this is the angle i am going for thanks for noticing

- Gansey and Blue’s first drive together #i #am #emo

- “Jane, in this light you... Jesus. Jesus. I’ve got to get my head straight.” MURDER ME

- When Adam woke up at fox way after being asleep for 24 hours or whatever he drank four glasses for pomegranate juice and three cups of tea and then left in the span of ten minutes. i know sometimes these kids act like they are 50 years old but....this is a teenage boy 

- “It was against Ronan’s nature to appear overly interested in anything.” HES SO EXTRA 

- Grey man: “But it wasn’t personal.” Ronan: “It. Was. To. Me.” :((((((((((( also i’m pretty sure neil josten said the same thing to that police officer one time i love parallels. 

- “when ronan thought of gansey, he thought moving into monmouth manufacturing, of nights spent in companionable insomnia, of a summer searching for a king, of gansey asking for the grey man for his life. Brothers.” kill. me. 

- kavinsky dying #goodshit 

[markonasurface]

47/50 - “I can think of a million places I’d rather be right now.”

Fandom: All for the Game/The Foxhole Court Characters/pairings: Jean, Jeremy, Foxes/jerejean (jeremy likes jean) Summary: Jean is reminded of being waterboarded.

A/N: Still don’t know how to end fics. I know only the eastern teams have their banquets together but Perfect Court interacting.

Jean pulled uncomfortably at his tie. As relieved as he was that it wasn’t red, it still felt wrong. It was his first banquet as a Trojan. The Ravens had been disbanded but there were bound to be plenty of former Ravens on other teams.

After all, a team was only as good as its weakest link and the Ravens had been the best. Jean was willing to bet that a lot of the Ravens were still mad at him for leaving when they needed him most if the way they’d been treating him during games so far this year was any indication.

Not that he could have played. Riko had left him in a sorry state that few got to witness.

“Jean?” Jeremy knocked on the bathroom door. “We’ve gotta go.”

Jean opened the bathroom door and took one last glance in the mirror. He resisted the urge to pick at the scab under his left eye and faced Jeremy.

The bright grin he was met with almost made him feel like everything was going to be okay tonight. Almost.

“I told you the tie would go perfectly with your eyes,” Jeremy reached out to smooth Jean’s tie. “Let’s go.”

It was a short drive from the hotel to the hosting school’s court. Jean bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. He jumped when he felt a hand on his and Jeremy gave a short laugh.

“Just me.” He raised his hands to show Jean he wasn’t touching him anymore.

Jean nodded stiffly and forced an easy smile onto his face. Just how Kevin had taught him.

“You don’t need to pretend for me,” Jeremy said softly.

“I’m pretending for me,” Jean admitted, the words feeling strange leaving his lips. Timothy, the team’s shrink, had told him to practice being honest about his vulnerability. It was okay.

“If you need to leave at any time,” Jeremy started.

“I’ll be fine,” Jean looked out the window and saw the Foxes pulling up at the same time.

“Kevin!” Jeremy waved and jogged over. He gave Kevin a hug.

“Jeremy,” Kevin said, looking slightly surprised. After a moment’s hesitation he shook hands with Jean. In French he said, “You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

Jean tried to roll his eyes. He gulped. “Is this how you felt last year? Times a thousand?”

“Probably.”

“He inhaled half a bottle of vodka in ten seconds on the bus last year,” Neil said and Kevin glared at him. He offered a hand and said, “Hey, Jeremy.”

Jeremy shook it, unfazed by being left out of their conversation. “Neil Josten. Congratulations on being made Vice Captain.”

Neil awkwardly thanked him.

“Jean!” Renee came over and wrapped her arms around him. He squeezed her back too tight. “Shall we go in, guys?”

Inside the Foxes left to change in the locker room and the Trojans continued to the court. The tables were set up how they typically were during their Exy banquets and Coach Rhemann went to get the seating chart.

Jean looked around with the practiced ease of always having to pretend he was okay. He spotted several former teammates with the Jackals and didn’t miss the snarls on their faces as he caught their eyes.

“C’mon, Jean,” Jeremy pulled him along.

He sat between Jeremy and Laila, mostly pushing his food around on his plate. He breathed easier once the Foxes settled into the empty seats at their table.

Renee and one of the twins sat across from him. Conversation flowed easily between Jean and Renee and he started to enjoy himself even. It helped that both Neil and Kevin were near enough to laugh at his jokes that only made sense in French.

“I like your new tattoo,” she commented and Jean self-consciously touched his fingers to his cheekbone. It still felt like a betrayal. Timothy had spent the last two weeks telling him it wasn’t but he still had trouble squashing the feeling down.

“Thanks.” He blushed.

“If Jeremy got one what do you think it’d be?” Renee mused, looking down the row at her teammates and at some of the Trojans. “I think a small sun would be perfect.”

Jean noticed the way her smile seemed to freeze in place and her eyes looked worriedly from Jean to Kevin.

He flinched at the next voice he heard. “A big L for loser.”

“Fuck off, Smith,” Neil spit out.

Smith ignored him and looked at his friend. “I think he’d get a dick tattooed on his face.”

“Ha. Ha.” Nicky said from a few seats over. “Very clever. A gay man getting a penis tattooed on his face. Wow. Amazing. Inspirational.”

Jean wished he had the courage to remind Smith of who Riko called any time he thought Jean might need to be fucked into submission. Despite the past half year, Jean was still a survivor and he held his tongue.

“Go away,” Neil warned, standing up.

“Neil,” Dan hissed.

Smith turned his ugly smile on Dan. “Hennessey! Long time no see! You’re not the ten I see but I’d still give you some ones. How ‘bout it?”

“Gee,” Andrew spoke up, bored. “You two really are clever. Weren’t you the one she sent to the ground with one hit last year?”

“No one asked you, Doe.”

“Your insults are so last year,” Allison took a sip of her punch. “It’s almost like without Riko none of you can come up with any new material. Pathetic.”

Jean felt the need to defend Riko, then remembered it was misplaced loyalty. Instead he stared at Kevin who finally opened his mouth. “As you can see, you’re not wanted here so you really should just fuck off now.”

“But we have a present for Jean,” Smith said and Jean’s blood ran cold.

“Don’t -” Kevin stood up quickly, knocking his chair over.

And Jean was drowning. He tried to breathe but inhaled water. He wrapped his hands around his throat, choking. He coughed and spluttered and his vision went blurry.

He felt hands on his arms and struggled against them.

Someone’s hands were on his face. “Look at me, Jean.”

Kevin’s face came into focus and Jean pushed him away. “Get away from me!” he cried. He pushed at Kevin again.

“Jean!” Kevin said loudly. He spoke in French. “We’re not there, Jean! Let me help you! Riko is dead. Jean, Jean! Look at me. Breathe. I’m sorry. Breathe. We’re okay. Okay?”

Slowly his breathing returned to normal and he took in his surroundings. He was on the floor, in a puddle and Kevin was kneeling over him, hands on either side of Jean’s head. A circle had formed and coaches and Exy players were staring.

He met Jeremy’s eyes and felt humiliated.

Kevin stood and offered him a hand up. His hand was firm on Jean’s back as he led him through the crowd towards the locker room.

They sat in silence on a bench until someone knocked. Wymack and Jeremy came in. Jean stared straight ahead, unwilling to acknowledge any of them.

“Some towels,” Jeremy held them up. “Coach said I can take you back to the hotel when you’re ready.”

Wymack held up a bag. “From Abby. Just in case.” He pursed his lips like he wanted to say more, then left.

Kevin took the towels from Jeremy and started helping Jean dry off and undress. He murmured softly in French and Jean kept staring blankly at a locker. He couldn’t stop shivering.

“Can I - can I help?” Jeremy asked.

Kevin looked over sharply as if just remembering where they were and who they were with. His gaze softened.

“Warm him up,” Kevin instructed, wrapping a towel around Jean’s shoulders.

He walked a short ways away and opened a locker, pulling out a duffle bag. He placed folded sweatpants and a t-shirt on the bench near Jean.

He pulled the shirt over Jean’s head then asked quietly in French, “Can you stand?”

Jean nodded, looking a little disoriented, but stood.

“Do you want me to help you?”

He shook his head and Kevin stepped away, letting him drop his slacks and boxers to the ground. He pulled on the sweatpants Kevin gave him and began trembling again.

Kevin handed him his orange Fox hoodie and Jean pulled it on, wrapping his arms around himself. He sat back down and Jeremy moved so he was straddling the bench so he could get closer to Jean. He pulled him into a hug and rubbed at his arms to help him warm up.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked because he couldn’t think of anything else.

“I can think of a million places I’d rather be right now.”

“Last thing,” Kevin said. He dug through the small bag Wymack had given him and pulled out a bottle. “This will help.”

Jeremy walked up the stairs behind Jean who was more than tipsy. He tripped and Jeremy grabbed the back of the orange hoodie. “C’mon, Jean. We’re almost there.”

He gave a terse nod at the old couple who passed them in the hall looking more than a little judgmental. Jean stumbled into the door. He turned so his back was to the wall and started sinking to the ground.

“No, no!” Jeremy grabbed his arm to stop his descent.

Somehow he managed to keep a grip on Jean’s arm and turn the door handle while pulling out his key card. Jean banged into the table.

Kevin had told him, “We didn’t drink when we were with the Ravens.” Jeremy had thought it an odd thing to bring up but now he knew it had been a warning.

“Jean! That’s my be-ed - okay.”

“I’m hot,” Jean said, turning over to lie on his back. “Why’s it so hot in here?”

Jeremy felt the warmth in the pit of his stomach. Jean was hot. Jeremy was very painfully aware of the fact. He ignored the feeling and went to help Jean untangle himself from Kevin’s hoodie.

Jean pulled his hand in an attempt to get off the sleeve Jeremy was tugging. Jeremy gasped when the force had him falling atop of Jean. Jean groaned and Jeremy felt his face burning. “It’s the alcohol,” he said belatedly.

“What?”

“That’s why you’re hot - warm - shit.” Jeremy rolled off of him. He lay side by side with Jean for a moment. “We should get your shoes off.”

He stopped when he felt Jean’s hand on his arm. “Just - just stay where you are for a minute.”

“Jean?”

“Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

Jean didn’t respond. Jeremy was about to push himself up on his elbows to peek at his face when he sighed.

“Y’know, I was gonna kill myself?” Jean slurred, rolling his head to face Jeremy even though his eyes were closed. “Still might.”

“What?” Jeremy felt his heart fall and a burning cold sensation washed over his skin.

“It’s all I thought about after Kevin signed with the orange people. You know, when I realized he wasn’t coming back.” Jean took long pauses between sentences. “Every time Riko beat me, I thought, just do it.”

Jeremy held his breath. There were a million things he wanted to tell Jean but words and phrases got tangled in his mind and none of it made it to his mouth.

“I am a fucking dog,” Jean continued, his words almost incoherent but their bitterness nearly shattering Jeremy’s heart. “Waiting for his dead owner to come back. Pathetic. There’s nothing left -”

“You are not an animal,” Jeremy didn’t want to hear anymore. “You are not property. Humans don’t own other humans. You are a human. And you have a future.”

“You don’t understand,” Jean said and blindly grabbed for his arm.

Jeremy twisted his arm so he was holding Jean’s hand. “Kevin told me enough.”

“No one understands ...” Jean trailed off, going silent.

His breathing evened out and Jeremy squeezed his limp hand. “I’m trying to understand,” he whispered. “You’re not alone anymore.”

He watched Jean dozing for a long time. All he could think about was what he already knew of Jean’s time at Evermore and everything he still didn’t know. The not knowing was hard because it let his imagination run wild. From the little Kevin mentioned and the way Jean reacted to things, he knew there wasn’t really a line Riko wasn’t willing to cross.

Maybe he was better off not knowing. He had a feeling knowing wouldn’t stop him feeling nauseated every time he heard Riko’s name or saw the white scars on the back of Kevin’s hand or any time Jean reacted strangely to normal interactions or normal things.

A noise escaped past Jean’s lips and Jeremy pushed himself up onto an elbow. Jean’s eyes were still closed but his eyebrows were furrowed and his hand between them was squeezed into a fist.

“No, no,” Jean was whimpering. “Please. Don’t do this to me. Don’t let them -”

Jean flinched suddenly and tried to sit up. He looked around before his eyes settled back on Jeremy.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“You and me both.” Jeremy muttered and stayed up the rest of the night watching Jean.