#Neil diamond does too

[pennyserenade]

valentine’s day with cillian’s characters:

a young thomas shelby steals you flowers and fucks you by the cut, and an older thomas shelby buys you a garden’s worth of flowers and a necklace, and fucks you twice: once in the morning, when no one is awake, and once at night, somewhere where you could both be caught. he says he loves you, quietly and succinctly.

neil lewis lives for today even though he doesn’t know it. he plans a nice dinner where he dresses up, gets you the flowers and the chocolate, and eats you out like it’s his job. he’s very proud of himself at the end of the day. he tells you he loves you about six thousand times and at gumshoe he has a buy one get one off romantic movies. he lets you paint hearts on his cheeks in honor of the holiday

robert fischer is a romantic and he doesn’t care whether or not you crave lavish things or not; on valentine’s day you will get them. new wardrobes from france; stars in the sky; a summer house in italy; a diamond ring that cost more than he’s ever going to tell you. but he also likes to keep it simple, too. dinner in, soft love songs on the record player, and sex that’s close and tender, where he can tell you how much he loves you

jonathan crane doesn’t acknowledge the day outright because he thinks it’s stupid and for fools, but you might find a single rose left for you by anonymous sometime throughout the day. he might not care about the holiday, but he does, in his own way, care for you. when he fucks you that night, he does hope you wear something pink and red, anything sickeningly feminine, because he likes the way you look in them (and how they look when he rips them off of you)

jackson rippner is eerily good at valentine’s day. he does it like it’s a competition, and baby, he’s always going to win. his flowers are the best. his chocolate is the finest. his surprises are always equal parts personal and lavish, and you love them completely. they feel personally tailored just for you! (and they are, because he’s stalked your interests for a better part of the year, and he knows). he’s eating you out and fucking you full in the nicest hotel you’ve ever been to

[stabbyfoxandrew]

hii aerie!! how are you? i'm treating myself to some gummy bears in your honor and sending you chocolates in my heart :D

i am incredibly intrigued by andrew's recently-acquired umbrella, but also by the upcoming conversation with kevjerejean, so can i request my usual dealer's choice between Angel Neil, Mafia Front, and Arsonist Neil? i just love all of these aus, i can't chooseeee

i hope you have a great day too!! <33

WIP Wednesday (2/12) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 280)

"Well, Kevin and I are well versed in that if you'd like to try it," Jean says. His tone is somewhere between serious and playful, but Jeremy's expression twists into a sad one. "What? I've never been the waterboard-er before."

"You're not missing out on much," Kevin says. Then Jeremy coos at him. He's like some sort of therapy dog or something. But he's not sure which of his boyfriends he needs to comfort so his head is on a swivel, looking back and forth between them.

Andrew looks down into his soup to get away from Jeremy's dilemma. It really is his favorite, a tragedy since Jean makes it so infrequently. It doesn't look that special. It has ham and beans and... assorted vegetables. Andrew doesn't even know what it's called. Maybe Jean made it up. Andrew really should get the recipe from him, so he can have another night of narrating his attempts at cooking to 10. Oh. They could video chat about it and everything. Andrew would never deign to ask for the recipe. Though he might snoop around and steal it or something.

"Fine," Jean sighs. "You're right. No torture in the apartment. But that means you won't get the man's name."

Kevin laughs. "It's okay."

"What about a photo?" Jeremy foolishly asks.

"I don't have any."

"Liar." Kevin says after staring Andrew down for a good twenty seconds. "Why don't you want us to know anything about him?"

"Is he hideous? Is that it? You're embarrassed of him?" Jean asks, seemingly delighted.

"He's not ugly." Andrew grits out. It would be a crime against humanity for anyone to think Neil was.

"Then why won't you show us a picture?" Kevin asks, slanting a look at him. Andrew glares at the bastard. Kevin has always liked poking his nose into Andrew's personal life, even when he didn't have one.

What's worse is Kevin feels he has some sort of claim on Andrew since he let Kevin follow him around PSU for years. Or maybe it was the handful of kisses they shared during his final semester. If Kevin had his way, Andrew would likely be tucked into some corner of this apartment. Like an umbrella or something.

"Because he's not your business."

"Yet." Kevin tacks onto that. "He will be."

"Whatever you say." Andrew says, then the four of them sort of come to a silent agreement to shut up and eat before the food is cold. Andrew pulls off small bits of bread and dunks them in the broth. He has an urge to pluck out every ingredient and eat them all separately. But that is not how soup is done. He's the last one done and as soon as he puts his spoon down, Kevin starts again.

"He's a fan of mine, right? What if you brought him over for a meet and greet?"

"You are nothing if not consistent. That is never happening. I think he would faint if he were in the same room as three pro stick ball players."

"Wait, is that what the photograph was for?" Jean asks, incredulously. Kevin nods and that makes Jeremy laugh.

"You gave him a picture of Kevin?"

"Signed and everything," Kevin says, smug for some reason.

"I needed a gift, Kevin pictures are free. For me." Andrew shrugs.

"Ooh, Andrew. I have an idea." Jeremy says. Between his serious tone and the joyous expression on his face, Andrew is rightly terrified. Knowing Jeremy, it could be anything from a diamond heist to a foursome. Luckily, it is nothing quite so scandalous. Though it does require some awkward positioning.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Random idea as long as I'm allowed to make two requests, if not delete/ignore this, but the papas, nihil and seestor playing video games with reader!

nihil is one of the papas, you don't have to specify you want him too lol - rat

Papas and Sister Imperator playing video games with their s/o

Primo (he/him)

He doesn't really play himself, but he's very willing to watch.

He likes two types of games: the ones where you get to build, farm and make friends (The Sims series, Minecraft, Stardew Valley) and games where choices matter and there's a mystery to be solved (Detroit: Become Human, Baldur's Gate 3, Life is Strange).

If you play games where you get to build, he asks if you'd mind letting him give you design ideas, as he was always interested in architecture. Your in-game houses never looked better, he's an excellent architect.

He also memorizes all the gifts and recipees from Stardew Valley for you. Considers it a good brain excercise.

With the other kind of games, he is fascinated by all the options they offer and the concept of morality.

Although he does think Detroit: Become Human got way out of hand with the plot. It was one of the few times you heard him mutter cursewords in Italian.

He does enjoy Neil Newbom's performance in games, though. He's the only reason Primo bought you Resident Evil: Village and insisted you play together.

Secondo (he/him)

Well, he does like classic arcades.

And surprisingly, it doesn't take long for him to grow familiar with a joystick. So if you have a console, he's pretty good at it after a few days.

He's weirdly good and Doom. It's very concerning how good he is at Doom.

And MovieStarPlanet. This man spent so much money on MovieStarPlanet it's insane.

He needs his character to look fabulous, after all. He will actually make it a point of pride that his character is dressed better than yours.

He plays as a female character, by the way.

Naturally, he played the Barbie games, too. His favorite is The Barbie Diaries: High School Mystery.

Terzo (he/they)

Terzo is rather decent at classic platformers, like the original Mario Brothers game or the old Sonic games.

You show them a dating simulator and the bastard is obsessed.

He gets a new phone just to have more dating simulator games on his phone.

This is all fine and dandy until he he gets his hands on Mystic Messenger and stayed up at nights to play the night chatrooms.

On maximum volume. On maximum brightness.

Needless to say, Omega was not amused. Neither were you.

It gets even weirder when Terzo starts throwing around phrases in Korean that they learned from the game.

Korean with a very thick Italian accent.

Omega is losing his mind, especially after Terzo, having not gotten enough sleep one night, accidentally tried to perform a ritual from the Arcana, rather than the one he was supposed to.

You both end up on technology detox as Omega insists it's crucial for you two to touch grass.

Copia (he/him)

We all remember him playing Driving Miss Daisy.

We also all remember that he sucked at playing Driving Miss Daisy.

He's good at co-op games, though!

Like Minecraft or Raft. Or even Stardew Valley (that one mod is forever in my heart).

Especially Minecraft. Copia yearns for the mines.

You find a bigger hill or a mountain in the game? He insists to dig a room in it as your first base.

You leave for a bathroom break and suddenly Copia's wearing diamond armor and you have a giant underground empire.

You know he didn't cheat, he doesn't even know how to input cheats in the game.

He's the same in Stardew Valley. He was at the bottom of the mine with the original pickaxe and a crappy sword in less than a week in-game.

Science can't explain how he did that. Or why the mines is the only thing he's good at in those games. He sucks at everything else, he is a mines-only boy.

Old Nihil (he/him)

He is not going anywhere near the computer after Swiss and Sunshine showed him Five Nights At Freddy's.

He is not risking that shit again.

He will sit in the corner of the room and sulk if you play video games while he's around.

Young Nihil (he/him)

Even in his youth, he was older than video games and not very smart.

He gets way too distressed about the games so you put him on a gaming ban for the sake of both his and your own sanity.

He does like watching you play, though. Especially as he cuddles up to you.

He keeps complimenting you while you play. He's proud of you!

Young Sister Imperator (she/her)

She would not have the time.

As much as she loves you, it's almost always a no.

She doesn't mind if you play something while you're together, she's just... not gonna have the time to actually play.

Although considering it's the 60s, it's probably more likely to assume she just hears about you going on about arcades.

Which she doesn't mind, even if the games seem completely absurd to her.

Old Sister Imperator (she/her)

She will die of embarassment if anyone finds out, but she's a sucker for old Pokémon games.

She even has the first generation Pokédex memorized.

You leard that by accident while looking for mods for Minecraft and she automatically quotes the Bulbasaur Pokédex entry as you gush over the cute creature.

She's embarassed to say the least. You totally use it as blackmail on her.

And pay for it in the bedroom.

(Step on me in those red heels of yours Seestor please.)

~

Written by Nosferatu.

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)

i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅

sooo without further ado: song number one is....

Habanero by Rosie Tucker

i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.

"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.

"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.

"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.

"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.

"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.

"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.

"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.

well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )

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[asunsetgrace16]

Karaoke ⎥ Chicago Blackhawks

I have no idea what their music preferences are, this is purely based off vibes. This what I think the Chicago Blackhawk's go-to karaoke songs are.

masterlist

Connor Bedard - he knows every word to 'We Didn't Start the Fire' by Billy Joel for some reason that he never tells anybody. He is dared to sing it one day because it's an older song, so he does it perfectly and surprises every person in the room

Colin Blackwell - 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift. 100%

Jason Dickinson - a stunning rendition of 'Vienna' by Billy Joel

Ryan Donato - keeps it classic with 'Don't Stop Believin'' by Journey. It's very mid, but not bad

MacKenzie Entwistle - a horribly off-key version of 'Livin' on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi

Nick Foligno - claims he is too old for karaoke but sticks with the classics too and goes with either 'Hotel California' by Eagles or 'Under Pressure' by Queen

Taylor Hall - there's about a 55% chance he sings something Nickleback and the other 45% is 'Love Like This' by BlackHawk for some sentimental reason

Seth Jones - something Katy Perry, I feel like. No reason, just a feeling. More than likely it's 'Firework'

Kevin Korchinski - either something by Zach Bryan or a 'The Last Saskatchewan Pirate' by Captain Tractor duet with Reese Johnson (please tell me somebody will get it)

Philipp Kurashev - adorably accented version of 'Call Me Maybe' by Carly Rae Jepsen. Everybody loves it

Petr Mrazek - first an enthusiastic attempt at 'Dream On' by Aerosmith, then plays it safe with 'Sweet Caroline' by Neil Diamond, met with applause and sing-along

Connor Murphy - also claims he's too old for karaoke, then proceeds to whip the most excellent cover of 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi out of his back pocket and absolutely floors everybody

Alex Vlasic - 'Shut Up and Dance' by Walk the Moon or 'Stacy's Mom' by Fountains of Wayne. Or some other 2000's hit

[the-bus-called-graveyard-8]

Madagascar: Film-to-Book Changes & Details (part 2 of 4)

Zuba does not continue chasing the hunters after he gets shot—he is too hurt from his injury

Instead of Central Park Zoo or City Zoo, we are now calling it the New York Zoo

When Nana is interviewed by the news, the caption across the screen reads "Nana: Grand Central Hero". When she notices the camera focusing on her, she yells "What are you looking at?" and whacks it with her purse

When Mort arrives at the plane, Julien and Maurice imply they had tied him up to prevent him from coming

When Alex confesses to breaking Marty's iPod, Marty laments that he'd had 10,000 songs on it. Alex teases him, "Neil Diamond didn't make 10,000 songs." Marty starts hitting him for dissing Neil Diamond

Julien dubs his new kingdom "Madagafrica"

The penguins don't get to run over Nana with the tour jeep :/

While preparing for the Rite of Passage, Alex paints his entire face white with black lipstick and black stars around his eyes, like a mime

Melman has a receptionist named Sandy. The giraffe who tells him about Joe's fate is named Harland.

The scene where Mason and Phil bring the army of chimps to help fix the plane is skipped, RIP "I'd like to kiss you monkey man"

The scene of Nana rallying the tourists is also skipped

The discovery of the dried-up watering hole goes in a slightly different order—when Makunga tells the other animals they'll have to fight for the water, they all assert their preference for Zuba. Makunga then tells them they should go upriver and find out what happened to the water. Alex does not announce himself—after hearing this, he quietly leaves to find Marty.

As they leave the reserve to go upriver, Marty asks how Alex had found him amongst the other zebras. Alex says his line from the very end of the film—"I can look into your eyes and know it's you."—before looking at the scar on Marty's butt

Immediately after this, the story cuts to Marty arguing with Skipper about using the plane and Mason blackmailing Skipper. Several pages later, we have the scene of Alex and Marty finding the dam and being ambushed by the tourists. I'm guessing this is an editing error

Upon finding the dam, instead of pondering dynamite, Alex says they will need more manpower. Marty suggests getting Zuba. Alex replies he was more thinking of the penguins.

One of the zebras who had watched Alex and Marty leave runs to tell Makunga what they're doing. Makunga then goes to retrieve Zuba

Marty still fetches Gloria and Melman from the volcano, but there is no indication they were on the plane for the rescue and they do not appear again for the rest of the book

When Zuba joins Alex in dancing for the tourists, he tells Alex he doesn't know what he's doing. Alex tells him not to worry and, pointing to Zuba's birthmark, says "you were born with it!", echoing Zuba's words from earlier

Nana does not have a gun during the plane escape—Hula Girl subsequently suffers no injuries

Zuba does not insist on him and Alex jointly taking the role of Alpha Lion—Zuba instead accepts his role back and announces that drinks are on him. The book ends here, with no wedding between Skipper and Hula Girl and no penguins leaving with the plane

Mort is never seen again after he falls off the plane in the beginning—we are left to assume he died, smh

[drconstellation]

Inside the Dirty Donkey

**Warning! This meta contains spoilers and speculation for S3. Do NOT tag Neil!**

Time to get comfy, folks. Get your drink of choice, be it a cupperty, coffee, or nip of sherry, and find a seat. You’ll definitely want to be sitting down for this one. We’re going to the pub!

The name is apparently a favorite of NG’s, used in his short story “We Can Get Them For You Wholesale.” And it also appears in the Sandman AU.

In the short story above the protagonist is a jilted lover who tries to organize an assassin for his fiancé who is having an affair with another man at their shared workplace. He meets the ‘salesman’ of the firm he contacts at a pub called the Dirty Donkey, and it escalates from there. The story is freely available online, so you can search it up if you really want to read it, it won’t take long. It mentions a pale horse, which is usually what Death rides in on, and is appropriate in the context of that story.

The question we need to ask is how does the name The Dirty Donkey apply to the Good Omens AU? Are there any context to the name at all?

There are several meanings for a dirty donkey:

Its a slang or joke name for a black horse (not particularly a dark horse, that has a different meaning altogether)

A cocktail

A sex position (I’ll let you look that one up yourself…)

Probably the first thing we need to talk about, though is an actual donkey itself, in relation to Jesus, as S2 is full of Jesus references and hints to the Second Coming in S3. Yep, it was all there in front of us, but we were too focused on other things. If you remember your Bible teachings, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, because he came in peace. In ancient times leaders rode horses if they went to war, or if they came in conquest. But arriving by donkey meant you came with peaceful intentions.

But Jesus didn't turn up in S2, you say. And certainly not on any hairy beast. Ah, but he did - metaphorically. Gabriel as Jim turned up - he came up the street, by (the Dirty) Donkey, walking through spilled blood tomatoes, then mentioned his arms were no longer sore (because he had been taken off the cross.) MrPeriod talks more about how Jim represents Jesus here, and it might be worth revisiting it at length another time, as there is quite a bit to unpack there.

There are also the two big golden lions perched on either end of the bar inside the pub, that look rather ominous. The lions are strongly connected to Jesus and his resurrection, representing his return. (I'm still planning to have a better look for more lions in both S1 and S2, but that is still a WIP at the moment.)

There is also the scene in 1941 where the Nazi zombies stagger into the Dirty Donkey and spy on Aziraphale and Crowley through the windows through to the book shop, but all they manage to get is “Banana, fish, gorilla, shoe lace with a dash of nutmeg.” It sounds a bit like a cocktail reference – well, the nutmeg is definitely a GO ref to a certain cocktail – but the cocktail called a Dirty Donkey has cinnamon in it, in the form of cinnamon schnapps, not nutmeg – plus chocolate liqueur and rum. So maybe not.

But perhaps the most important thing we have to examine is the conversation about Jane Austin that Aziraphale and Crowley have in the pub, in S2E2. Because its got so many levels you just about need a break for extra oxygen half way down. Ha! And you thought it was a couple of funny throw-away lines about how Aziraphale saw human romance...

OK, this is the section of dialogue we are going to look at:

AZIRAPHALE: If you're going to invoke fiction, you might as well do it properly. CROWLEY: Properly? AZIRAPHALE: You remember Jane Austen? CROWLEY: Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. What a piece of work. AZIRAPHALE: She wrote books. Novels. CROWLEY: Jane? Austen? AZIRAPHALE: Yes! CROWLEY: Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? AZIRAPHALE: Yes. They were very good. CROWLEY: Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all. You think you know someone. AZIRAPHALE: She had balls. CROWLEY: Well.... AZIRAPHALE: Cotillion balls. People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realize they had misunderstood each other and were actually deeply in love.

Ready to dive into the levels on the Jane Austen conversation? Let's go...

Level 1: It’s a conversation about the novelist Jane Austen, and it sounds like they both met her, but they remember her in different ways – and Crowley’s memory is rather surprising!

Level 2: There is a mention of a robbery. This makes the parallel with the 1967 scene in S1E3 Hard Times, where Crowley has a secret meeting in the Dirty Donkey to plan a robbery to steal holy water from a church. The robbery in the above conversation involves diamonds (are you taking note/s? This is important!) from Clerkenwell, a district of London of some notoriety. It was famous for it watchmakers and jewelers, but it was also the home of Oliver Cromwell, who has a link to the 1650 date mentioned in S2E1 and the Eccles cakes, to Charles Dickens (author of A Tale of Two Cities, a book of note for GO) Oh, and both times Crowley is wearing a "Tactical Turtleneck", which others have noted he wears when he is doing his own master spy work, such planning or discussing robberies, or sneaking into Heaven to rob them of information!

Level 3: There is Aziraphale’s idea about how a romance should be conducted, by hosting a cotillion ball with formal dancing, because he's read all those romantic novels by Austen. And we get to see that played out in S2E5 in the eldritch ball. Crowley's idea of a romance was to get caught in the rain and kiss, then - vavoom!

Level 4: Why mention this apparently fictional side to an author of fictional romance? Well, on one hand, it’s an interesting but dark set-up for a joke later at the beginning of S2E6. I ended up discussing it at length here, but the short of it is that it is our usual human custom not to speak ill of the dead, and this is a form of extreme black-and-white thinking. Here, Aziraphale speaks of the good/white side of Jane Austen, that is well known, but Crowley speaks of the black/supposedly forgotten or unspoken bad side of Austen.

Level 5: Here’s the S3 information. Have you been paying attention? Did you take note? The parallels were the robberies between a church, and diamonds? That she was a brandy smuggler? Do you know where they smuggled brandy from? And do you know where Austen actually lived? On the South Downs, overlooking the Channel to France…

Whew. I think I need a drink after that. Cheers!

[Edit: I've recently finished a meta on the Bentley and how that relates to black horses, and it's occurred to me why the ethereal lift, or "hellevator," is in the entrance to the Dirty Donkey. Black horses are symbolic spirit guides between the worlds of the living and the dead, so this makes the perfect place to put the lift!]

[bisexualchaosdemon]

The Foxes as things my old friend and I have said

I make no apologies for the cursed shit you are about to read

Neil @ Andrew: Yes, malicious compliance, thank you. I knew if anyone would know the correct term for spiteful behaviour, it would be you.

Neil or Kevin: I'm working on two hours of sleep and a protein bar, I am ready to fight God or BECOME HIM!

Nicky: *cackling maniacally while shoving a muffin in his mouth* *process to almost choke to death on said muffin*

Neil: What's the word? Clothes soap?

Nicky: Pinoccio can turn into a sex toy by lying and telling the truth really quickly

Neil, talking about Andrew's dark humour: It was just the added hint of rape that really got it there

Matt: What the fuck in the misogyny???

Neil or Andrew, probably: I'm staying in this doorway, I don't want to commit a felony

Wymack: In the same way it takes a lot of pressure to make a diamond, it takes a lot of trauma to make a Fox

Neil, to Andrew: I am the rake to your Sideshow Bob

Aaron, playing a video game: This fucking game can get fucking shoved up my asshole! It can fester with my haemorrhoids!!!

Neil: *makes an unhelpful comment*

Aaron: You're right, I do need to find all the boxes. But in order to find all the boxes, I need to find a shred of my sanity!

Nicky: Toot toot get the gripping socks oot for crash bandicoot

Dan: If you are smaller than the person you are cuddling, it's not called being the big spoon, it is being a backpack

Aaron, from across the dorm: YOU ACTUAL RAT FANNY FLAP

Neil @ Aaron: Imma turn your glasses into contact lenses!

Kevin, talking to Andrew about his friends: Nevermind quality over quantity, you don't have either

Matt, to Dan: Are you playing footsie with me madame?

Drugged Andrew: I am the evil doodle from Spongebob

Kevin: *clapping for emphasis* You. Are.

Andrew or Neil: Stop being funny when I don't have pants on!

Nicky, upon learning he talks in his sleep: Even sleep can't shut me up– I have a disease!

Nicky: You are a cinnamon bun

Neil: No, I'm something that looks like a cinnamon bun, but is actually filled with paprika

Nicky: You are a paprika bun!

Andrew: I don't know what you're complaining about, I'm fucking funny

Kevin, high as fuck: You're not allowed to die. And, God, I wish you were a donut.

Andrew or Neil @ Kevin: Gonna fe fi fo fum my foot up your ass

Neil: Fuck me, it's cold!

Andrew: I'm not going to fuck you just because it's cold

Neil: Nah, you're going to fuck me because of my hot ass

Renee: surviving?

Kevin: Not thriving.

Nicky, to Neil: You and Andrew are like the Kermit darkside meme... Except you are both wearing hoods.

Allison: Keep your nipples on! Don't get your fucking fanny lips in a twist, honestly

Also Allison: Being hit in the clit with a Bisexual flag is not how I want my sexuality reaffirmed

*discussing why they would never date*

Matt: I don't see you as a person

Nicky: *bursts out laughing* I don't see you as a person, the nicest thing a friend has ever said to me

Matt: No, wait, lemme explain

Aaron: Fuck. Da. Ocean.

Matt: I've definitely eaten too much. I'm going to have a food baby. I will name him Derek

Allison, finishing her homework: My laptop is going away and it's not coming back out until Monday

Dan: woop woop get your tits oot

Allison: *flashes single boob*

Nicky: Which of the seven dwarves are you?

Neil: *struggles to remember all seven dwarves*

Neil: Dopey, clearly

Andrew: That's a big off

Kevin: I am a big oof

Andrew: What does that make me?

Kevin: A small, angry oof

Drugged Andrew @ Renee: if you ask a Christian to prove that God exists, they will just whip out the bible. Like, yes *whips out Mr Men book* wah-bam! Proof that Mr Tickle exists!

Andrew, telling Bee about his bad day: Right, so, I woke up, so already off to a bad start

Andrew again: Life is a naughty dog that keeps humping your leg

Andrew: *suddenly singing along to song* YES!

Kevin: *confused*

Andrew: Sorry, my inner demon just took over a little there

Kevin: You're inner demon is so gay!

Andrew: *dying with silent laughter*

Kevin: I am half expecting it to say 'yas'! You have the gayest inner demon I've ever seen

~a few moments later~

Andrew: Yaaaas! Oh, goddammit! Why did you have to put that thought in my head? Stop giving my demon ammunition!!

Aaron: It's your turn to pick dinner

Andrew: *thinks about it for five seconds* No.

Aaron: The fuck you mean 'no' ?!

Kevin, drunk: It wasn't great. I wouldn't rate. *burps* I used a burp to punctuate.

Kevin: What are we doing?

Neil: I have no plan. For life or for dinner.

Kevin: Let's formulate a plan. For dinner. You're on your own for the rest

Nicky: We do not ride at dawn in this house. That is far too early. We ride at dusk.

Allison: Well, if you can't beat them, climb between their legs

Neil: .... *shrugs* If you can't win, be good at oral

Matt: She is beauty, she is grace, I would like her to sit on my face

Aaron @ Neil: You're like biting into a chocolate and discovering it's liquorice

Andrew: I will indifferently shove you in front of a train

Nicky: *yawns ridiculously loudly*

Matt: That yawn had layers!

Nicky: I call it my oni-yawn *cries laughing at own joke*

Andrew: I need a chiropractor, an exorcist, and a bong

*trying knitting instead of sparring*

Renee: I'm trying to knit myself some mental stability

Andrew: I'm trying to knit myself a noose

Andrew: When you think about it, that's all people are; we are sperms with delusions of grandeur

*the monsters play Monopoly*

Aaron: *lands on chance*

Andrew: You coming to join me in jail?

Chance: go back 3 spaces

Aaron: Ha! No!

Aaron: *lands on community chest*

Community chest: go to jail

Aaron: Oh, fuck you!

Nicky, talking about why the mosters can't play Monopoly anymore: Friends were lost that day, patiences were tried, shoes were thrown

Kevin: Can God let go of my gonads?

Andrew: No dick is good enough to live on salad

Aaron, into the pitch black, silent bedroom: You old cock-blocking bastard

Andrew @ Wymack: Come get yo kid, they about to get a McKnuckles Slappy meal

Neil: There is a nice personality inside me, problem is he's mute.

Nicky: You know, it was only after I did that that my self-preservation instincts realised there was a very real possibility that you could have punch me in the face.

Andrew: Self-preservation instincts? You have those?

Nicky: Clearly not!

Renee: PHONE 911 YOU ABSOLUTE PLUM

Aaron: Where does today come before yesterday?

Neil: The alphabet? Oh, a dictionary!

Aaron: The alphabet?!

Neil: I got the alphabetical thing, I just forgot dictionaries existed for a sec!

Matt: My ankle is killing me

Nicky: And IIII, I must confess, so is my knee!

Matt: Is my knee!

Foxes @ Neil: You are always angry and always dying. You are like a suicidal hulk.

Bonus in honour of tsc:

Jean @ Jeremy: Give me an orgasm and then slit my throat. Please and thank you.

[jediofbooksandsnacks]

So, SLOW DANCE by Rainbow Rowell was amazing. It follows two characters, Shiloh and Cary, who are In Love (But They Don't Know It). One of my fave writing devices.

The thing about being In Love (But They Don't Know It) is that it can only really happen over time. AO3 slow burn to the max. (Which is possibly why Emily Henry's PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION is one of my other faves, but anyway.) This book starts when Shiloh and Cary are in high school, and tracks their development through high school, college, and their early careers. They are clearly meant to be together, but here's where Rowell falls down: the longing didn't really work for me. They both have to want it want it and if it's not written effectively on the page, then. Well.

So, in this aspect, it fell flat for me. Here's a perfect example:

Cary didn't give me anything in the rest of the book to support this proposal. He thought of her; he wanted her, yes. But I wasn't with him. And Shiloh was a mess the whole time, so why would she even be emotionally close to accepting this? (She does, with a asterisk.)

Idk; maybe I just need to be lead to things, now? (I mean, brain tired.) Maybe Rowell was too subtle for me? (I try, but subtleties can be challenging.) Maybe I need more emotion? Or maybe the writing was more to my mind for a graphic novel--I could see these characters showing up on a page where this kind of ambiguity can thrive?

Maybe it just lacked growth between the two of them? Idk.

They were both interesting characters, and I liked reading along. I liked how Cary's home life was messed up, I liked getting into Shiloh's chaotic, screwed-up life. It was a really good book.

And this? Was hot:

My PP obsession has made biting hot. Thanks, Kogami Shinya? ??

Anyway, it's good, I liked it, I would recommend it. Again, it fell a little flat for me, but the story was great and the characters were good. And, since she is named for the song.....

[bryantspeed]

Season 2 Good Omens spoilers

Long rant incoming

Now that I’ve finished crying I wanna talk about the ending and some gut punch reactions I’ve already seen from other people. A repeated sentiment I’ve seen from Aziraphale and Crowley’s separation after the kiss is that “we don’t need more tragic queer endings” and that Our Flag Means Death and Good Omens suffer from straight writers writing queer love that fails in the end. And there are a few problems I have with those sentiments

The first being, BOTH GOOD OMENS AND OFMD AREN’T FINISHED? Like Neil Gaiman has stated in the past that he and Terry Pratchett envisioned 3 seasons in the TV adaptation of Good Omens, and we have definitely left off on a very interesting note for the third act to pick up from. This is the furthest thing from an ending as we can get.

Second, Season 2 of Good Omens very much shifted away from the idiot plot of Season 1 to truly make it a love story and emphasize that above all else. Hell, both Crowley and Aziraphale both point out romcom tropes that they find attractive and attempt to use them to make Maggie and Nina fall in love! Good Omens may be a self aware romcom, but it would be wrong to say it’s not still a romcom that subscribes to those tropes and utilizes them fully! We are ending the second act on a three act romantic story, and what typically happens then? The romantic leads, despite their mutual attraction and desire, split on ideological grounds and leave each other with regrets heavy on their lips (no matter how powerful a kiss is). Queer love stories do this too! Look at the movie “Bros”, they have this same 3 act structure, as does “But I’m a Cheerleader!” where we are screaming at Graham to please just run away with Megan but she is prioritizing her financial safety and family above her own desires.

Hell's sakes, look at the pinnacle of Romance, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery, Jane Austen! Pride and Prejudice also follows this format where Elizabeth and Darcy are ideologically and emotionally split apart, and it is not until Darcy and Elizabeth grow and change for the better that they come back together in the most romantic scene to ever grace the world! "One word from you will silence me forever. [...] You have bewitched me body and soul". What I am trying to say is, Aziraphale going back to Heaven with Metatron is an extension of that common romance trope, splitting our star crossed demon and the too-trusting angel apart to prepare for the third and final act.

And ya know the funny thing that would have certainly happened even if they ended up together at the end of the second act? They would have been split apart very early into the third act. Stories are born of conflict, no story worth telling is one that culminates in "Nothing bad ever happened and we just watched our two lovebirds go on dates and explore each other's bodies for six hours!" Love stories thrive on setting up conflict, so that the romantic leads can fight and claw and work their way back to each other in a much more satisfying emotional climax than if the sloppy, rushed confession that Crowley gave Aziraphale had worked. Stories where the leads end up together in the middle of the story itself don't tend to end well for them (See Romeo and Juliet, "La La Land," "Titanic," et cetera). That is how you end up creating a romantic tragedy.

Third, while “We want queer stories that don’t end tragically” did have a place in film criticism at one time, and a time fairly recently, I feel that sticking to that now when there are a lot more stories that express queer joy and love (especially if you look beyond just major studios, support indie filmmakers, and support the SAG AFTRA and WGA strikes!!!) limits the kinds of stories we can tell. A genuine benefit of today is that there are a lot of queer stories that we can tell, and I’ve been lucky to read a lot of them. The freedom with which we can create stories about us is breathtaking. I've had the privilege to read many well written queer stories, but I've also had the strange privilege to read poorly written queer stories that I can't fathom how they made it past editing. There’s a fierce joy I carry knowing that there are a plethora of queer stories that I can read now, and that more are being created, good and bad.

My point is, there are so many queer stories to be told, and that are being told, so limiting queer media to “must end happily” is exactly that! Limiting! If we go in to every story with the foreknowledge of a happy ending, well frankly that’d be so boring! I want tragedies! I want fucked up characters not fully resolving their problems and being left in situations arguably worse than where they began!

And while I doubt that's the direction Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett wanted to take their supernatural love story, if Aziraphale and Crowley, despite all their struggles, are tragically separated because of metaphysical forces beyond our wildest imaginings, then that would be something new! It'd be interesting if done right! As painful it would be to not see Aziraphale and Crowley together gallivanting off to Alpha Centauri, I'd much rather see a story that has these sorts of stakes for both the characters and the audience!

Anyway, the reason for this rant is just to say that I'm excited for where Crowley and the new Supreme Archangel Aziraphale go in their final act, and by god will I impatiently wait and see.

PS: to those that I saw dismissing Good Omens' and OFMD's cliffhangers for coming from straight writers, Taika Waititi literally came out as queer, and Neil Gaiman had boycotts on Sandman in the 90's because of his queer characters, and his loving portrayal of Wanda, a trans woman that I will protect will all of my heart.

[normmacdonald]

Norm MacDonald on Bob Dylan Pt II

"He mostly listens to music now, but when he talks, it's like poetry. But he's done writing it down. His eyes are narrow as hell and his voice is rough from years of fine whiskey. It's his birthday but you wouldn't know it. He doesn't believe in such things.

He doesn't like shaking hands. When you've had to do it a million times, you let your hand go limp, so the other guy follows suit. He thinks he's just a vessel, a cipher. But he knows he's the best by far. And he knows he'll be the best there ever was. But, for now, he just listens to other music. He nods a lot, but sometimes winces at a bad line. Not that I would know which is the bad line and which isn't.

Told him I saw Neil Diamond. No response, frightening stare.

He likes CDs, hates vinyl, hates people who like vinyl. Won't sign his name or stand for a picture. He says he's said all he ever has to say and I can see what he means. A man who's given all the great words he has and now stays silent.

I got lots of songs I wrote through the years. Too scared to show him. Too scared to show [mutual friend] Billy Joe [Shaver], too. But Billy Joe, he said, show them to me. But not him. He has no interest. I guess, even after all this time, I know the fellow in the guard shack better. Don't know why I get summoned to silence. Billy Joe, when I'm with him, it's like he could fight me at any minute, just for the fun of it, but not him.

He asks me questions about my jokes, and I don't know how he knows them. He quotes some sometimes, always without laughter, and a stare as hard as kerosene.

'You ever vote,' says I.

'Never. Against anyone with power over me, why should I vote a man in so he can have power over me?' says he.

'What about a God, then?' says I.

'What day is it today?' says he, and, finally, the shadow of a smile crosses his worn countenance. I know if he's gonna talk, this is about the only thing of interest. He likes music but won't talk about it. Not with the likes of me. Not with the likes of me.

We went out once. Out of the house. Me and him and a guy named Ray and another man driving and he looked out the window at the world. I know he used to walk the streets, and I know he used to love that. But now the world was what he saw through tinted windows. Tinted windows in the back seat of a long, long car. Tinted windows in the back seat of a car.

The driver got us burgers from in and out. When we finished eating he decided he'd tell a story. I always thought he liked me because I hardly ever talk. All I ever really do is listen. And he told a story, a story about a shark. And he said he knew a man who was a session man and a shark took away that man's arm.

And just as his story ended, the car stopped and a one-armed man come running from his house and jumps in the car. And he smiles at the one-armed man. And he says, 'Tell these boys the story, the whole story.' And so the one-armed man does and we are all spellbound. All but him, who looks out the window with his baleful stare.

And now so many ones have vanished, so many have been banished, so many simply died, and now it's just him and me. If you never break the rules, then you will earn his trust. If you break them, you're as dead as rust.

What I like about him most is he's impressed by nothing and nobody. He says all music is owned by everyone, and the writer don't own what he gives away. I don't even know if he knows how old he is. He's doing real well, that much I know."

Norm posted this on Twitter in 2015, sometime shortly after posting part I, and then deleted it a few hours later.

For context, he and Bob really were mutual fans of each other and it seems to be true that Norm once spent two days at Bob's house. But to exactly what extent this is real and to what extent it's an avid fan's satire of Bob's public image we will never know.

[californiaboytoybilly]

ALRIGHT GIRLIE (gn), I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS -

💜 🤎 🩶 🪴 🌾 😭 for billy! 🧡💚🌹🌼🌱 for steve!

okokok, i’m ready. let’s do this.

Billy

💜: I know he needs a break and I’ve give him that sometimes, but I really do put him in some truly awful situations sometimes (sorry baby boy).

🤎: Honestly most of my headcanons for him are like… Canon+. At the very least, they’re rooted in my interpretation of his canon. I do love giving him stupid, regal, frilly middle names just because I know he’d hate it though.

🩶: This is a very hard question, mmm. I’m going to have to say the world of Dishonored, but especially the second game. Can’t fight witches and parasitic, bloodsucking swarms of horrible flies with your fists, Bils.

🪴: I don’t know how most people view him, I personally view him as the sun. It keeps us alive, safe. But it can- and does- also kill us or harm us very easily. It flares up and burns red hot. Plus I like the connection of blonde hair/blue eyes like the sun and sky, and the connection to California.

🌾: This is more of a personal headcanon than it is based on anything from the show but I think he’s good at jewelry making. Not like… with big tools in a workshop and with diamonds, but beaded bracelets. Shells from the beach or cool rocks wrapped intricately in a wire cage. Braided leather bracelets. I like the idea that his mom taught him, with twine and shells at the beach. He was always more interested in surfing, but after she left/died, he picked it back up as a comfort.

He knows Neil would call it a fairy hobby or worse, so it’s his best kept secret. He hides that little bag of supplies better than his porn.

😭: No, I do not. I am cursed to remain here like a slightly unstable poltergeist.

Steve

🧡: Steve is so utterly my opposite personality wise that it’s funny but I did also have friends who stopped giving a shit about me in highschool because all they cared about was my house and the things they could earn by being my friends. That and big pathetic brown eyes.

💚: Some of my favourite rep headcanons for Steve are - him becoming hard of hearing after four seasons of concussion after concussion, him being dyslexic, and suffering from chronic pain in general from sports & injury. I’m pretty heavy on the bisexual Steve train, and the Italian Steve headcanon too.

🌹: I feel like when Steve hates you, there is no way you don’t know unless he’s pretending otherwise. He’s petty, bitchy and will absolutely cold shoulder the fuck out of you. Once a mean girl, always a mean girl.

🌼: I think that very much depends on if he was alone. I think, with a group, he’d adapt and be capable of surviving for at a minimum quite a long time. Alone? I don’t know if he’d care about fighting to stay alive if he was entirely alone in the world. He needs other people too much.

🌱: I think he starts out pretty optimistic and over time and tragedy, starts becoming more of a relativist. He is still more optimistic than Robin though, as seen by his steadfast conviction that “Vickie likes boobies” lmao.

[ofuntamedhearts]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME.  Caroline Elizabeth Forbes

NICKNAME.  Care, CareBear, Vampire Barbie/Judgy (Damon), Goldilocks/Gorgeous (Enzo), Love (Klaus),

GENDER.  Cis Female  

HEIGHT.  5′8″ 

AGE.  18/41  (Born on October 12th)  

ZODIAC.   Libra sun (aesthetic oriented, people pleaser, strong moral compass), Aries moon (swift, enthusiastic, and impulsive), Scorpio rising (magnetic, passionate, loyal, obsessive)

SPOKEN LANGUAGES.   English, French, Italian 

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR.  Blonde (she had a red hair phase freshman year of high school. It was a dark time.)

EYE COLOR.  Blue

SKIN TONE. Fair-skinned

BODY TYPE.   Slim, slender  

VOICE.  Mezzo-Soprano

DOMINANT HAND.  Right

SCARS.  None, thanks to that handy vampire healing ability. The fact that she has no physical scars often messes with her head, as she thinks people do not understand that she still has trauma from what she’s been through even though there is no longer physical evidence of it. 

TATTOOS.  None, and with no plans to get any. She subscribes to the “you don’t put a bumper sticker on a Bentley” mentality.   

PIERCINGS.   Two holes in each earlobe, cartilage piercing on her left ear. She got a belly button piercing during the ill-fated red hair era, but Liz found out and made her let the hole close up.

BIRTHMARKS.   None

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).   Eyes, hair, smile

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

HOMETOWN.   Mystic Falls, Virgina

SIBLINGS.   None  

PARENTS.  Bill and Elizabeth Forbes 

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION.  Headmistress 

CURRENT RESIDENCE.  Mystic Falls, Virginia  

CLOSE FRIENDS.  She is having a hard time with knowing who is friends with her anymore. There is a loneliness in that her past self has far more connections than she is allowing herself to have 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS.  Widowed by Stefan Salvatore on March 8th, 2018. Has had a fling or two since, but nothing stable.

FINANCIAL STATUS.  Stable.

DRIVER’S LICENSE.  Yes! She has her motorcycle license too. (Stefan’s influence, for sure)

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.  Demisexual

PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE.  Prefers to be the caretaker most of the time, constantly trying to think up meaningful ways to make sure that the people around her know how appreciated they are.

PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.  Definitely a switch.

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.  Once she decides she’s in, she’s in for the long haul, come what may. Can be clingy and jealous. Very thoughtful, just wants to make life for her partner as idyllic as possible. Remembers every single milestone (first kiss, first date, anniversaries) but does not expect her partners to do the same.  Consistently uses sex as a weapon or distraction. 

LIBIDO. Incredibly high, probably something to do with forever being stuck with teenage hormones. 

TURN ON’S. Protectiveness, thoughtfulness, having secrets with her partner,  eye contact, neck kisses, consensual roughness. Super big fan of angry/make up sex. Also very into building tension with secret glances/touches in public.

TURN OFF’S. Ignoring her, interrupting her, pessimism, sexism, messiness, lack of commitment/affection.  

LOVE LANGUAGE.  Her preferred love languages to receive are physical touch, words of affirmation and quality time. Her preferred love languages to give are acts of service and physical touch.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONGS.    Mastermind by Taylor Swift. Hurricane by Halsey. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond. Barbie Girl by Aqua. Problem by Natalia Kills. Tennis Court by Lorde. Where Does The Good Go? by Tegan and Sara. Bottom of the River by Delta Rae. If We Cannot See by Devics. The Future Freaks Me Out by Motion City Soundtrack.

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.  Reorganizing the closet of every person she lives with, shopping, planning events, learning to bake, sewing, dancing, singing, going to the theatre 

MENTAL ILLNESSES.  Obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, PTSD 

PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.  None (shout out to vampirism) 

SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.  Confident about her abilities (including organization, planning, physical fighting, debate, gift giving). Confident in her sexual skills. Confident in her appearance. Not confident in her ability to have people continue to care for her; constantly thinks that she will outlive her usefulness and be forgotten. Not confident in being chosen first or being considered important.

[dollarbin]

Nickel Bin #14:

Jerry Jeff Walker's Fading Lady

My famous brother is a show off. He sent me the text yesterday for his recent interview with one of the greatest humans still currently on the planet, Linda Thompson. Watch for it soon, probably on Aquarium Drunkard... And he returned from the Big Apple recently bragging about how he yanked Jerry Jeff Walker's Five Years Gone on vinyl outta of a dollar bin during the trip. That's a big find, folks: just take a listen to a single blissed-out track from that nearly impossible to track down record:

It's no fair: My biggest interview of late was with my cat. She said nothing and demanded heavy petting. And my last foray into the Dollar Bin turned up a Steve Cropper solo record form the early 80's that looks terrible.

(As a quick aside, it kinda looks like Walker invented the selfie on the cover of Five Years Gone; Jerry Jeff: visionary.)

Still, I'm a competitive dude by nature so I rode my bike 14 miles midday late last week in 90 degree weather to test my luck once again in the bin; surely, I figured, the dollar gods would reward such selfless dedication with my own copy of Five Years Gone.

Yeah, no. All I did was drop a few too many dollars on a copy of Circus Maximus's debut album. Turns out Jerry was in a Moby Grape style psychedelic boy band for about 15 minutes in 1967. He shared the lead with a jazz pianist who sang like Neil Diamond and played lead guitar like Sterling Morrison would after they'd each had botched lobotomies; the drummer clearly attended Joe Freakin' Lala's School of Percussion, an offshoot of Trump University; their motto, "just wack the hell out of whatever you can as fast as possible, white boy, and then call it Latin jazz," is more famous than any of their alumni. Today the band has just one claim to fame other than Jerry Jeff's presence: the bass player would soon write Linda Ronstadt one of the greatest torch songs of all time before disappearing altogether from history:

I've loved this song for a long, long - you get the idea. I see it recently was featured in some zombie apocalypse TV show and therefore enjoyed a brief renaissance; that's fitting: Linda is clearly singing about a zombie apocalypse.

Suffice it to say that my famous brother wins this latest round in the Dollar Bin: I'd trade him my copy of Circus Maximus for his copy of Five Years Gone in a hot second. And, come The Revolution, I will head immediately to his house, hatchet in hand and dodging zombies as I go, so as to lay claim to his entire record collection.

While we're at it, check this out:

Isn't it crazy how Linda Ronstadt can make even Jerry Jeff Walker sound like an average dude by comparison? Still, it's nice to hear this song sung by a fellow mortal.

But let's get to the point: happily, Circus Maximus, which, coincidentally, has a cover photo collage dedicated to that very same zombie apocalypse, does feature one track worthy of our nickel: Fading Lady. Take a listen; Jerry Jeff is starting to find his voice.

I don't know about you, but I am mesmerized pretty quickly. My wife just asked me what the hell I was doing under our bed. I told her I was counting our shoes, and I requested space to do so.

Even so, you can hear that the song could be even better. Jerry needs no boy band echo behind him; and, like Danger Bird, slower here would be even better. Happily he soon ditched the mustache and the whole 60's scene and headed for the ditch a few years before Neil Young. They'd wind up wallowing in it magnificently together until Jerry got married and cleaned himself up for good around 73; from that point forward he just sounded drunk all the time.

But he wasn't drunk enough to know that Fading Lady deserved a second pass. Listen to him truly nail the song on 69's Drifting Way of Life:

Aw yeah: that's the stuff right there folks. The great David Bromberg does his New Morning/Self Portrait Dylan thing alongside Jerry on guitar; Kenny Buttrey makes almost no sounds whatsoever on the drums and does so perfectly. And all the while Jerry Jeff effortlessly instructs us to tally up our jewels. And our shoes.

I'm on it Jerry!

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Hell-O Extras

Don't Rain on My Parade (Instrumental)

I couldn't find the actual scene - but I found this really fun karaoke version in case you guys wanna play at home ;)

Anyway... this song plays in the background of the opening scene when Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt are all walking in the hallway. It's the only song that isn't related to the word 'hell' and is really a nod to the previous group of episodes, their sectionals win, and the fact that Rachel believes she's now a star -- her own triumphant music playing in her head. Of course that all comes crashing down as they get slushied, but it's a nice opening touch.

It's also quite the energetic and provocative piece even without the vocals and gives the reentrance of the show some oomph. I recommend taking a moment and just singing it for yourself! ;)

Hello, Again

Will and Emma dance to Neil Diamond's Hello, Again. I find it kind of interesting that they didn't let Will sing this to her -- and for that matter, Will (and Emma) don't have any songs to sing together this episode -- which shows the departure of the story from the adult world.

I think this is a really nice song for them, though. The lyrics reflect a man who's happy to be in the arms of his love and friend -- and the scene kind of does the meta'ing for you, actually. It's gentle and calm and kind of reflects the friends-turned-lovers relationship that Will and Emma have taken. Plus, the dancing together is somewhat reminiscent of those old school romantic films.

What I don't totally buy is that it's Will and Terri's prom song. Not only do I not buy that teens in the mid-90s would be into Neil Diamond, but I'd bet Terri would be much more vocal and dominating about that kinda thing. But it does very much reflect Will and his personality, so who knows.

I do think it reflects that the writers often write Will as being much older than he actually is -- since a lot of their choices often reflect someone who grew up in the late 80s. But I digress...

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Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

Oh my gosh, this scene.... lol

I can see why they cut it. I mean, it was probably for time more than anything, but I feel like this whole sequence really highlights how Rachel and Jesse 'get' each other. It might also be a lot -- too much too fast, especially when Finchel was a tirelessly slow burn over the previous 13 episodes -- so it's a bit head spinning.

But I do like the scene overall. The song is about growing up -- and discovering your sexuality -- though in the most theater kid way (which makes it kind of funny, tbh). And it's interesting to me -- that while Finn was the subject of Rachel's idolatry, Jesse is a very realized romantic partner for her. And I wonder if one reason they cut it is that it undermines the overall Finchel story when Rachel and Jesse click in a way that Rachel and Finn never have.

(I also wonder if this scene is too similar -- though in a more childish way - to the upcoming Like A Virgin montage that will be coming in the next episode - another reason they probably cut it.)

Anyway, the song is cute, but is a minor inlay of the major fabric of the St. Berry romance.

[hollowhichway]

## please read this !— admin

🎶 if you’re in it for love, you ain’t gonna get too far 🎶

## GET TO KNOW THE MUSE :: HEATHER HOLLOWAY

NAME ;; Heather Elizabeth Holloway

DOB ;; april 16th

AGE ;; twenty

SEXUALITY ;; bisexual,, leans towards women (and very very single, hmu mfs)

🎶 oh-oh, here she comes,

watch out boy, she’ll chew you up 🎶

BESTFRIEND ;; billy hargrove ( no user found ) ,, both mutually learned about their sexualities thanks to a certain situation ,,, they still laugh about it 😭😭. they didn’t have the same friends in school so when they got jobs as lifeguards,, it brought them closer due to the dislike of kids and other details.

MORE ;;

mascara user for life, she’s got a little compact mirror and is either touching up her lashes or her lipstick while telling the latest gossip to her closest friends

heather has three pets,, since she refused her parents idea to have more kids, they settled for dogs and cats for heather. heather has two cats and a small dog, all are fluffy and have cute little quirks. and they all have places at the dinner table.

whiskers (6 years old) - she’s a calico cat with a beautiful fluffy coat, she sits a little too much like a human but whatever. she also stands like one and can do tricks very well but she’s just so smart.

tuna (4 years old) - he’s a short haired grey cat, extremely mean to others except for four favorites: heather, whiskers, chunky soup, and billy. he hisses the most but is very cuddly if you’re one of the chosen few or you’re just like him (in billy’s case.)

chunky soup (7 years old) - he’s a small fluffy white dog (not a crusty one, no heather makes sure he looks his best.) he’s been by heather’s side for a long while, sweetest dog she’s ever known. as well as sassy and stylish. always has a bow on his head. fancy lad.

MORE (80’s vers) ;; she listens to the runaways, bonnie tyler, and joan jett religiously,, got introduced to metal music through billy and it just got adopted into her taste of music

her best-friend is billy, they’re each other’s beards. heather helps getting neil off his back by posing as his girlfriend, billy helps tom get off her back by posing as her boyfriend. they don’t love the situation but hey, if it helps, it helps.

surprisingly between the two, it took heather a while to grasp she was bi. doesn’t everyone fool around with their bestest gal-pal? nope, that’s girlfriend stuff apparently.. it also didn’t help that when heather was 10, she went to a summer camp and her closest friend there was a girl named ellie that always held her hand, she was extremely over protective of her, especially of boys being near her.

one too many experiences for heather to grasp she was gay, it took her a while ok :(

MORE (modern vers) ;; it’s not too different from her in the 80’s,, though her music taste is different,,

arctic monkeys,, marina and the diamonds,, TV girl,, and a cigarettes after sex listener. especially marina, the electra album was made with heather in mind.

with billy as her bestfriend, he doesn’t use social media often, at most he has instagram only to post photos of him and heather going out. and because heather kept bothering him to make an account.

with the social media aspect, heather’s actually a instagram model, and a advertising model as well, her looks help her. it’s a great side hustle she has on the side, she’s a life guard a majority of the time. if she’s not doing that, she’s waitressing at the same restaurant where billy’s either the bartender or the busboy.

he has many, many, many messages from heather of sending him tweets or stupid tiktoks that have the little message ‘us’. She does it to bother him :))

she’s also a iphone user, and is really really good at archery on the little imessage games, it pisses everyone off.