#Need someone to listen to me like that 😔😔
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misty-memories09 · 6 days ago
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Zuko listening to Aang ranting <3
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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deadrlngers · 2 years ago
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i was tagged by @shadowglens and @risingsh0t to make some ocs in this picrew. thank you so much besties, i loved this picrew so much!! <3
vesper moxley (cp2077) • victoria gray (cp2077) joelle knight (fo4) • nina bower (fo4) selene (oblivion) • hiraeth (skyrim)
tagging: @uldwynsovs @arklay @devilbrakers @nuclearstorms @morvaris @girlbosselrond @indorilnerevarine @moiragf @cultistbase @faarkas @steelport @nokstella @reaperkiller @malefiicarum @brujah @calenhads @lightwardens @aelyosos and whoever else wants to do this or that i missed bc i'm terribly forgetful sorry!!
#tag games#warning i accidentally infodumped in the tags i'm sorry ignore me 😔 ckjsdhdskj#made this based on relationships idk why jdksd. victoria is vesper's bestie 4 life & first gf. joelle & nina my fave wlw married couple#and then for the last one. listen. i've resurected a very old oc and i'm still not so sure but i miss skyrim so bad. they idea is that#they are related as in hiraeth is a descent of selene bc i think dragonborn=martin septim's child> family line going forward until we#have our little hiraeth. i never thought of selene & martin having a kid in canon (only stupid ideas of an au) but u know. what if. she#still ends up in the shivering isles tho and becomes sheogorath. hiraeth's bloodline having like an emperor & a daedric prince. OK KING!!#much to think about tbh. not sure if they/she(probably he too. thinking of their gender as therapy for myself) will stick as nord or maybe#wood elf too like selene. or maybe even dunmer?? it makes no sense fjkdfhk IDK. literally i HAVE so much to think for them#also their name came to me bc i read the welsh word Hiraeth that basically means 'a mixture of longing yearning nostalgia homesickness'#+ 'an expression of an empty desire and grief over a past life or place' and with drangonborns i like to push the idea of 'maybe they were#actual dragons in a past life and now human' u know?? so i thought it was sooo fitting. i also like the idea of the more dragon souls#they absorb the more their features turn..dragonesque?? draconic jkfdhfkdsj idk i love them very much (:#(i have no idea how dragon in past life + martin's bloodline can fit but i'm literally only vibing rn)#i want to replay skyrim SO bad but i need someone to hold my hand so tightly as they help me set up mods for this game bc i never played#skyrim with mods (collective gasp) and i have no idea of what to pick ecc especially bc everything..breaks with a snap of fingers so yea ri#SORRY for talking so much i get excited about new things (my oc in this case) so easily..#oc: vesper#oc: victoria#oc: joelle#oc: nina#oc: selene#oc: hiraeth#ALSO FUCK OFF JOELLE IS SOOOOOOOOO CUTE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
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bmpmp3 · 3 months ago
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IA 2.0 voisona test with a short version of drag on dragoon's ending B song tsukiru/exhausted :) now i can hear Lia's beautiful dulcet tones sing scary scary songs
#vocal synth wip#maybe i'll finish it. not sure if im fully happy with the base file yet. ive been working on it + the growing wings ver for a thousand year#the timing is super tricky. why did i decide to make an svp of the most intentionally muffled smothering whispering song on earth#as my first attempt at making an svp by myself. why did i do this myself#also the instrumental probably needs work since its just a basic like software remove vocal situation LOL#there is no official instrumental rip..... i think someone had made a nice piano instrumental like five years ago but the videos down so#this is all we got LOL#the base file was an svp because i started this whole project in sv because..... its easier for me LOL BUt also i didnt feel like dealing#with the whispering in the bg of the original so i was like. just gonna make a flat track and maybe output the aspiration separate#and like fuck around with that until it sounds weird enough. but voisona and cevio dont have that function so i just stopped at the main#vocal + the chorus double. which also i have been so spoiled by sv scripts. randomize timing my beloved. i had to manually randomize it her#it took.... a thousand years 😔😔😔😔 although i guess thats fine since the tuning is like mostly default with just some tiny adjustments#i was more interested in messing with the different voice expressions and stuff in voisona <3 IA 2.0 has like this awesome exhale expressio#that im in love with because like. okay the one thing i think UTAU banks always have on any other synth is the end breath situation#no other software has given me as expressive end breaths as ur average utau bank. but IA's exhale is getting there!!!#also hopefully this isnt too loud. this is a very loud song. drakengard is a very loud game#edit: i mixed this like deliriously melting from a lack of AC and a bajillion percent humidity and listening back i now realize how#fucked up the volume levels are LOL ia's a BIT too loud and that double should be messed with a lot#but it works for demo purposes i think at least. kinda
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yakny · 1 year ago
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"the morally ambiguous man before him, encompassing the blurry line between coercion and persuasion"
I present to you: The Handler
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asmr-analyst · 2 years ago
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regulus is in my brain with a fucking scalpel. no complaints.
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rachiller · 8 months ago
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Listen my friend painted pretty designs on my nails while we drank cocktails and watched law and order I cannot be harmed by any psychic attacks right now
#d keeps asking if I’m jealous bc c’s friend is here and I’m like FIRST of all#they’ve known each other for far longer than I’ve known C so I have no right to be jealous#SECOND of all I am secure in the fact I love C and I know she loves me and friendship isn’t a monogamous concept#THIRD I LIKE her friend I think she’s lovely and I think her leaving her little son to go to Ireland to make money so she can#create a better life for him is an admirable thing#like don’t be annoying bro life is more complicated than oh your friends other friend is here are you afraid you’re gonna be replaced#grow up I came with to the airport to pick her up#am I a jealous person yes absolutely#but I keep that shit to myself because I know my jealousy is an irrational thing that I have to deal with#anyway I like listening to people talk about situations and friends and places I don’t know#it’s interesting to me I’m like WHOM#(nosy trait activated tbh)#yes ladies and gents I’m a little tipsy wipsy what of it#if we want to get into the nitty gritty of it all I think my girlfriend is gonna break up with me lol#and honestly I’m in not a great place right now mentally I think either I’m just burnt out or the depresso is back bc either way I’m#like not in the place for being someone else’s person lmao I’m#just apathetic about it all#the last person I was with was cheating on two different people with me without me knowing#I am on friendly terms with him despite this!!!!!#clearly I need to be looked at by a professional head shrinkist#I am simply too passive about my own self it seems#idk where I was going with this lads#I’ve had tequila😔 my best friend tequila have you betrayed me again????#delete in morning probablemente
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sanchoyo · 11 months ago
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annoyed I’m not getting as many hours as I’d like at work bc when I started they were giving me mad overtime 😔 ik it’s probably the holidays but at this rate it’s gonna take me (materialistic) forever to get the things I want and actually need ☹️ tentatively once again considering if I’d have enough self discipline to do something like a patreon before remembering I hate putting stuff behind paywalls 😭
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what-aboutno · 1 year ago
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The grip fatui chiluc has on my brain I swear...
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solaireverie · 7 months ago
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sv5 | that lavender haze
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summary: [ florist!sebastian vettel x f!driver!reader — social media au ] your florist husband spoils you with his creations
faceclaim: phoebe tonkin
author’s note: seb the love of my life <3
[ masterlist / guidelines / lola's masterlist / series masterlist ]
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liked by sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and 35,201,234 others
yourusername catching the waves 🏄🏻‍♀️
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sebastianvettel Ich liebe dich 🥰
↪ yourusername can't wait to be home with you again 💗
ausgp can we keep you down under please? 🦘
↪ f1mia back off 🦅🇺🇸
user mother AND mommy omg
mickschumacher can you teach me how to surf instead 🙏 lewishamilton doesn't understand that not everyone is naturally talented at everything
↪ lewishamilton i don't know what to tell you, mate 😂 keep calm and keep your balance, it's all chill
↪ mickschumacher easy for you to say 🙄 you're not the one drinking seawater every five minutes
yourusername has added to their story
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liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 124,129 others
tagged: yourusername
sebastianvettel Welcome home yourusername ❤️ the flowers missed you and so did I 😉
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user i love how y/n's husband's instagram is basically just a fanpage for her 😂
↪ user nah you can't forget the flowers ‼️
↪ user seb loves two things in life and they're his flowers and his wife 😌
user i don't even go here but i'm all for the golden retriever and black cat vibes 🤭
mickschumacher seb i have a bee problem in my backyard...
↪ charles_leclerc you know you could just text him right 🙃
↪ mickschumacher he checks his phone once every three months if your name isn't y/n l/n-vettel 💀
↪ sebastianvettel and I'm not ashamed of it 😄 but what can I help you with?
↪ mickschumacher a colony of bees moved into my garden 😅 i don't mind them but is there anything i should watch out for?
↪ sebastianvettel As long as they're not being overly aggressive you shouldn't have any problems 👍 keep me updated though
↪ mickschumacher thanks seb you're a lifesaver 😊
yourusername thanks for the flowers schatz 😘
↪ user ugh they're so Parents 😭
liked by charles_leclerc
↪ user charles liked your comment 😂 i guess even the drivers agree
↪ landonorris you didn't hear it from me but seb and y/n are the unofficial official grid parents
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liked by mickschumacher, lewishamilton, yourusername, and 23,109,234 others
tagged: sebastianvettel
mercedesamgf1 We have a special guest this weekend at the #JapaneseGP 🐝 sebastianvettel is here at Suzuka to promote biodiversity and build some bee hotels with the drivers 💪
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charles_leclerc Appreciated the art tips 😉
user this man 😭 "what do you think about this weekend's race?" "well obviously my wife is going to win everything"
↪ user as he should honestly
↪ user when you're in a "being a wife guy" competition and your opponent is sebastian vettel 💀
kevinmagnussen Thanks a lot Seb 😂 the kids want beehives now!
↪ sebastianvettel Glad to know that someone was listening when I was giving my talk about the role that bees play in our ecosystem 😔
↪ landonorris in my defence someone brought cookies and i was hungry...
↪ sebastianvettel you are 24 years old, Lando
↪ user why can i feel seb's disappointment through an instagram comment 😭
yourusername sometimes i wonder if he'd leave me for his bees 😂
↪ lewishamilton don't worry, you can crash on my couch if he does. roscoe needs a permanent babysitter
↪ yourusername two decades of friendship and that's all you see me as?
↪ lewishamilton let me by during the grand prix and i'll think about it
↪ yourusername mercedesamgf1 i'm telling toto
↪ sebastianvettel I would never leave you for bees, liebling. Clean energy, on the other hand...
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liked by sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, susie_wolff and 132,293,402 others
tagged: sebastianvettel
yourusername Happy anniversary, my love 💐 12 years and counting
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user the bouquet emoji because he's a florist omg 🥹
user my favorite thing ever is how 5-time wdc y/n l/n-vettel's husband is Just Some Guy who's completely smitten with his wife and makes her all the bouquets she could ever want 😭
↪ user they're like cottagecore addams 😩 i adore them so much
↪ user COTTAGECORE ADDAMS HELP 🤣🤣🤣
susie_wolff Congratulations and our best wishes!
↪ yourusername thank you ❤️😊 the same to you and toto!
sebastianvettel I'm the luckiest man in the world to be able to call you my wife and partner 💗 You're P1 forever, especially in my heart
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likes and reblogs are appreciated!
taglist: @scenesofobx @vellicora @boiohboii @julesbabey @flannelforthetoads @misartymis
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lyvhie · 23 days ago
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forgive me, father | lmk
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priest!mark x fem!reader (18+ mdni)
summary: it was really difficult to finally corrupt your favorite priest.
a/n: just a short one i wrote at the subway on my way to college while i try to finish other fics 😔
cw: smut, religious themes, virgin!mark 😝, unprotected sex (i always forget), pet names, read part 2 here.
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mark dedicated himself to a life of righteous servitude to the will of god. it was his mission to fight against the darkness and corruption that threatened to consume his world, an obligation to save those who could not save themselves. everything he had done, every choice he made, was done in the belief that it was god's will.
yet all that came crashing down, when you arrived. the one person who could disrupt his entire mission, undoing everything he had worked for, making his service to god seem meaningless.
when you first stepped foot into the church, mark's eyes were on you, but not much thought was given beyond a passing glance. you were merely an unfamiliar face among many. yet, as the days passed, he found himself drawn by the way you looked at him.
he felt your eyes on him, and found your gaze almost stripping him of his usual composure, as if you could see through all his facades. he could sense the desire in your gaze, and it made him feel both exposed and strangely captivated.
but it was fine. mark was no stranger to the attention that came with being a young priest. people were often impressed by his dedication to his role, yet quick to comment that it was a shame for someone as attractive as him to be bound by the church.
things took a turn for the complicated when you started coming to the confession booth with your sins in tow, seeking god's forgiveness. you made it a habit to request a session in the confessional after every mass, claiming to have sinned and in need of forgiveness.
on the surface, it seemed like a normal part of his duties as a priest, but he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that your visits were not entirely about atonement.
mark's suspicions were confirmed when your confession took a darker turn. you claimed that the devil himself was visiting you in your dreams, taking the form of him and engaging in the most sinful and perverse acts imaginable.
mark was momentarily speechless, struck by the detailed and explicit nature of your dreams. the fact that you spoke so blatantly and without shame about your experiences left him reeling, as if there was a hint of pleasure beneath the surface of your innocent confession. though he couldn't see your face, he could detect a sense of enjoyment in your voice, making him question if you were truly seeking absolution.
he tried to keep a stoic and neutral demeanor throughout your sessions, recognizing that it was his duty as a priest to listen to your worries and absolve you of your sins. yet, deep down, he couldn't deny the effect your words were having on him. the vivid descriptions and your lack of shame stirred something within him, tempting him to let go of his priestly restraint.
mark found it increasingly difficult to maintain his focus during the mass with your glances and suggestive actions. the way you would look at him, biting your lip, wearing clothes that teetered on the edge of propriety, it all made it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on his duties as a divine messenger.
“father…” mark's ears caught the sound of your sweet and coy voice as you approached him after the end of the sacrade. "it happened again," you said, asking for the chance to confess your sins once more.
his only answer was a gentle smile as he guided you to the confessional booth. despite his best efforts to maintain composure, he couldn't help but feel a mixture of anticipation and unease at the thought of what you might confess this time.
“forgive me, father, for i have sinned,” mark braced himself as he heard your familiar start, already tensing in anticipation of what was to come. “it has been a day since my last confession, and despite your absolution, god still seems to be testing me."
“i see," he said quietly, his voice a bit tighter. "and how exactly did you give into the temptation?”
your voice came through in a sigh, and despite your seemingly disappointed tone, mark could detect the deception beneath it. "our last encounter was even better than everything else we had until now," you confessed. "as usual, he climbed into my bed and lay with me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear as his hands roamed my body, touching me with so much sweetness. despite my pleas to god for wisdom, i find myself unable to resist him.”
and so the confession proceeded just as he expected. you told him how the devil, disguised as him, played with all the sweet spots on your body, bringing you to ecstasy countless times to the point where you forgot your own name or at least thought about how what you were doing was wrong, making you crave for more and more. you told him about how frustrating it was for you to have to wake up and realize it was a dream and be forced to satisfy your needs by yourself.
as your words filled the confessional, mark desperately sought to distract his mind. he silently recited the entire lord's prayer, clenching his fists beneath his cassock in an attempt to control the aching erection that strained against his clothing.
mark's heart leaped in his chest as he snapped out of his thoughts, only to find you beginning to conclude your confession. "that's why, father..." you said, your tone suddenly taking a different turn. "after conversing with god, i’ve come to understand that the only way to free myself from these torments is to utterly surrender to these desires.”
“w… what do you mean by that?" confusion etched on his face, he wasn't sure where this was leading.
“i realized that my confessions are doing nothing to help me stop sinning," you sigh. "although your words of comfort ease my heart, it's not enough. what i truly need... is you, mark.”
mark's breath hitched in his throat as your words reached his ears, the way you said his name sent shivers down his spine. he wasn't fool; he understood the implications of what you were saying, and this froze him for a moment as he pondered his response.
it's not that he wasn't used to this kind of approach, but the problem is that it was completely straightforward and came from you. he would be lying if he said he didn't feel some level of attraction towards you.
mark silently thanked god that the confessional booth was separated by a wooden wall, shielding you from the sight of his flushed face. his heart pounded in his chest as he realized the effect your words and presence were having on him. it scared him how easily you could make his emotions spiral out of control, awakening desires he never thought he would feel for a congregant.
mark swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before he began to speak gently. “listen,” he said, his voice composed yet filled with compassion. “while i sympathize with your situation, you must understand that i have duties as a servant of god that prevent me from indulging in acts that go against my beliefs.”
he took a moment to gather his thoughts, contemplating the difficult position he was in. "not only that," he continued. "but there are the obligations of my chastity vows. all i can offer you is my daily prayers, in the hope that god will save your soul."
after his words, an eerie silence filled the confessional booth. mark was consumed with worry, wondering if his response had been too blunt, perhaps even hurtful. maybe he inadvertently made you feel desperate with his refusal to support you in such a hard moment.
he tried to call your name in an attempt to soothe you, but before he could even process what was happening, the door to his side of the confessional booth suddenly swung open, and there you were, stepping into the cramped space. the small confines of the booth made it impossible for the both of you to maintain any distance, your bodies pressed closely together.
in the dim light, mark could make out your face, and it was evident that you were far from happy. annoyed, frustrated, or even angry — whichever it was, it was the first time he had seen such a look on your face. it was a stark contrast from the usual coy or sultry expressions you usually wore.
mark's heart skipped a beat as you spoke, your voice taking on a lower tone. "you know, i’m tired of this game," you said, locking eyes with him.
he swallowed hard, feeling his lips suddenly go dry. "what do you mean?" he managed to ask, his voice trembling slightly.
your voice was sharp, laced with annoyance, as you spoke. "you know damn well what i’m talking about," you continued, your eyes narrowing. "every day, i come here, saying all this nonsense about the devil to share my fantasies with you, and yet here we are, with you still acting like some pure little priest instead of fucking me.”
mark's eyes widened slightly, his mouth opening and closing a few times, struggling to find the right words to respond.
when he finally found his voice, he began hesitantly, "i... i can't, you know i can't. i'm a priest, and i have—"
you cut him off, scoffing and rolling your eyes. "cut the bullshit," you said firmly. "you can't, but you want it. i see the way you look at me, father. it's the same eyes i give you, so don't even bother lying."
mark flinched slightly at your words, feeling a pang of guilt at being seen through so easily. he couldn't deny it. he knew he was having a hard time concealing his true feelings.
mark swallowed hard, his voice quivering slightly as he attempted to deny your accusation. "i do not..." he started, his words faltering. but before he could finish, you leaned even closer, your faces mere centimeters apart. he could feel the heat radiating from your skin, the scent of your perfume filling his senses.
mark couldn't help but follow your gaze as your eyes wandered down to his lips, and he felt an undeniable magnetic pull drawing his attention to your own lips. almost involuntarily, his eyes fixated on them, noticing the subtle wetness left by your sultry tongue. the small confines of the booth made it impossible to ignore the growing tension between you.
"i'll kiss you.”
mark's eyes widened in shock as you announced and, before he could protest, your lips were already on his, pressing against them with a force that left him dumbfounded. the action was so unexpected, so brazen, that he couldn't find it within himself to pull away.
and honestly, he didn't even know if he wanted to.
your gentle touch on his chin was like a command, and he found himself parting his lips to allow your tongue access. a guttural sound escaped his throat, equal parts surprise and pleasure. in a moment of weakness or perhaps surrender, he gave in to the intoxicating kiss, his tongue greedily responding to yours. the taste of your lips and the heat of your tongue sent shivers down his spine, awakening a hunger within him that he had locked away for so long.
mark's hand instinctively found its way to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer as the cramped space around you seemed to grow hotter with each passing moment. his heart pounded loudly in his chest, the rapid rhythm almost resonating in his head. a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts filled his mind — how wrong it was, how he was throwing away everything he had defended as a priest.
with effort that felt as if he was fighting against his own nature, mark managed to summon enough strength to break the kiss and pull away from you. both of you were left breathless, struggling to regain your composure as a thin line of saliva connected your mouths. his eyes were clouded with a mixture of desire and conflict, torn between duty and yearning.
"ah, finally," you sighed, a hint of satisfaction in your voice. "i’ve been waiting for this so long, you have no idea."
mark felt the words nearly escape his own lips, a silent 'me too' trapped in his throat. but he clenched his jaw, his voice sounding harsher than he meant as he responded, "don't do this again."
your frown deepened as you heard his response, your earlier enthusiasm now replaced by confusion and disappointment. "what?" you asked, your voice laced with disbelief.
mark shook his head as he struggled to hold onto his convictions. "this is just... not right," he repeated, his voice filled with guilt. "that was a mistake."
"are you really going to insist on this?" you repeated, your voice gentler now, as you leaned forward to plant a few gentle pecks on his lips.
but mark's response was a feeble protest, a whispered "stop." he tried to resist, turning his head to evade your kisses, but you pursued him relentlessly, and he couldn't help but reciprocate for a brief moment before pulling back again to avoid your advances.
“stop,” he spoke more firmly this time, his grip on your shoulders tightening as he held you in place. "please," he said, his voice tinged with guilt and resolve. "let's not... just stop,” he then let out a deep sigh. “i will forget what just happened here," he continued. "so about your dreams... i'll keep praying for god to help you, and you should do the same."
you clicked your tongue, the sound cutting through the tense atmosphere, your eyes narrowing as you both engaged in a silent exchange. mark felt the weight of guilt heavy on his shoulders, he knew deep down that he could not give in to your desires, no matter how much he wanted to.
a sense of resignation washed over you as you recognized the firmness in mark's voice and accepted that he would not be swayed this time. you let out an annoyed huff and pushed his hands away from your shoulders.
"fine," you muttered, irritation evident in your tone. “thank you for the special session, father." with that, you briskly stepped out of the confessional, leaving him behind.
as your footsteps echoed away and the church fell into a heavy silence, mark emerged from the confessional, his legs feeling weak and shaky. he leaned against one of the wooden pews, desperate for support as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to regain his composure and calm his trembling body.
mark exhaled slowly, he knew he had barely dodged temptation, but the memory of your lips against his still lingered in his mind. with a solemn expression, he made his way to the dressing room, preparing for the long night ahead, knowing he would need to spend hours in prayer and reflection, seeking forgiveness and strength to resist to you.
he sank down onto the couch and buried his face in his hands, his cassock now neatly folded on top of the small coffee table. as he sat in silence, he couldn't help but acknowledge the physical evidence of his encounter with you. his pants were now uncomfortably tight, and he knew he would have to deal with it his own way when he got home.
despite the image he portrayed as a devout priest, mark was not immune to human desires and weaknesses. he had occasionally fantasized about moments like this with you too, allowing himself to acknowledge the human emotions and needs that existed within him.
but the pull of priesthood was strong, and he quickly cast away these conflicted thoughts, replacing them with fervorous prayers, seeking forgiveness for even considering any form of deviance from his sacred path.
however, this time, after finally having tasted just a little bit of you, he wasn't so sure he was strong enough to not give in to temptation, especially after finding out that your confessions were just a way to get his attention — which certainly worked.
mark's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a series of knocks on the door, causing him to raise his eyebrows in slight confusion. he tried to recall if he had any scheduled meetings or visits from believers that night, but nothing came to mind.
with a mixture of curiosity and concern, mark made his way to the door, his mind racing with thoughts about who could be seeking him at such a late hour. he hoped that no one had witnessed or heard the intimate encounter he had shared with you in the confessional, silently praying that he would not have to deal with any unwanted questions or accusations.
“father, it's me.”
mark's worries subsided a bit as he heard your voice on the other side of the door. although he wasn't necessarily eager to see you at that particular moment, it was preferable to encountering anyone else.
but soon he got tense again. you saw each other not long ago and the goodbye wasn't really one of the friendliest you've ever had, so what exactly brought you here?
he reached out to open the door and, once again, before he could even form any words, you grabbed his face and roughly pulled him against your lips, kissing him with such a hunger that left him breathless.
despite the initial shock, mark found himself responding to your kiss with equal fervor, his hands instinctively resting on your hips as you pushed him backwards onto the couch. the unexpected turn of events left him disoriented, but the growing desire coursing through his body overshadowed any rational thoughts.
mark couldn't help but let out a soft moan as you settled yourself on his lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of his body. you pulled back a little to look at him, seeing how out of breath he was made you laugh.
“looks like someone was waiting for this, hm?” you asked as you moved a hand down to caress his bulge over his clothes, making him inhale sharply at the sensation.
mark wasn't thinking about god or sin anymore, now he was just thinking with his dick, barely able to hide how happy he was that you came back as he nodded at your question, his eyes clouded with need.
mark knew that resisting you any further was like trying to swim against a strong current – a futile endeavor. his gaze, now fixed on you, silently pleaded with you to do something about the aching need that had taken hold of him. he no longer wanted to deny the burning desire that danced within him, even if regret would come later.
and you definitely understood that, his big, sparkling eyes told you everything you needed to know, and a smile appeared on your lips. you leaned in to kiss his neck, and then whisper in his ear.
“i’ll be your first, right?” your whisper sending shivers down his spine. “yes,” he said shyly, feeling his ears getting hot. seeming satisfied, you chuckled, tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of your tongue “you know, i thought about a lot of ways to make you cum.”
talking dirty to him was one of the options? because it was working already.
"but as much as i want to play with you," you continued, your hands quickly finding their way to his pants, skillfully unbuttoning them and pulling it down with his help. mark sighed in relief as his dick finally managed to breathe, standing proudly as droplets of precum ran from the tip to the base. "i also really need you so desperately and i've waited for so long, so let's do it quickly.”
mark nodded fiercely, his heart was beating so loud that he was sure you could hear it. he couldn't hold back his moan when you wrapped a hand around his hard cock and stroke it a few times. it was much more better than do it by himself, honestly.
he was holding his breath in anticipation, as he saw you popping up a little to align his cock with your pussy, gasping when he felt you tease yourself with the tip, brushing against your slick folds.
you hadn't been exaggerating when you mentioned your sense of urgency earlier. your choice of outfit for the day was a deliberate one, a thin dress without any panties beneath, specifically selected to make things convenient.
you wanted to tease him more, but your own sense of urgency only allowed you to slowly sink down, you were so wet that he slipped in easily. a guttural sound came from the back of his throat as he felt your gummy walls enveloping him in a warm embrace.
"oh, god," he breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back. he could swear heaven looked exactly like what he was feeling right now.
all the times he had jerked off thinking about you, about what it would be like to be in a moment like this, nothing compared to the actual feeling of being balls deep inside you.
and you were no better than him, all the wait was worth it. your face was buried on his neck as you savored the feeling of his tip kissing your cervix.
his hands tightened their grip on your hips, holding you firmly in place. his chest rose and fell with each shallow, quickened breath, his eyes fluttering open just in time to catch the playful laugh that escaped your lips.
"feel that good?" you asked, a hint of mischief in your tone.
as you spoke, mark looked up to meet your gaze, his face now flush with a deep blush from embarrassment and pleasure apparent. “yes,” his voice barely a whisper. “it feels amazing. fuck, it does.”
a slightly arrogant smile took over your face as you heard his admission, it was a wonderful delight to know that you were the one making him feel this way without even having started the real thing.
"then, i'll make you feel even better," you pecked his lips before placing your hands on his shoulders and start to move.
now this was driving him crazy — more than it already was. he couldn't quite put into words, but the way he kept rubbing your inner walls, the way you occasionally clenched around him, the way his name rolled off your tongue in a sweet moan, everything was from another world.
mark wasn’t quite sure what to do other than let you take the lead, but his body moved on its own as he began thrusting his hips up to meet your movements halfway.
his moans and whimpers grew louder as he felt his climax building up, it usually wasn't this quick when he did it himself, but he couldn't hold back when he had your pussy gripping him like that.
he managed to call your name softly, “i-i’m gonna cum,” he warned, beads of sweat running down his forehead. “mhm, i know,” your voice slightly husky. “since it’s your first time, i’ll let you enjoy it until the end,” you continued, “you can cum inside me, sweetie.”
his eyes widened at your words, but he wouldn't and didn't want to protest, he wasn’t on his best judgment right now. he only wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing you against him tightly and burying his face on the crook of your neck, thrusting harder, faster.
he felt the familiar knot of his belly, his body tensing and his balls tightening as his thrusts became sloppier. it wasn't long before he came undone under you, painting your walls white as he bit down hard on your neck, muffling his loud moan.
mark leaned back, sinking into the plush cushion of the couch, pulling you with him. the room fell into a hushed silence, the only sounds that could be heard were the soft, uneven breaths of the both of you. mark's arms wrapped around you in a simple yet intimate embrace, holding you close against him, as if he didn't want to let go just yet. his cock softened inside you, keeping his hot seed there, prolonging your feeling of being completely full.
“what are you thinking right now?” you break the silence after a moment and mark chuckled softly at your question, his grip on you loosening slightly as he relaxed into the embrace.
he took a moment to gather his thoughts, his fingers tracing small circles on your back. "i was just thinking about how i might have never experienced such a wonderful… moment if you hadn't been so insolent," he replied, a hint of amusement in his voice.
you pulled away slightly, resting your hands on his shoulders to get a better look at him. a cheeky smile tugged at your lips as you teased, "i’m glad i could be of service. you'll never forget me now," you paused for a moment, your gaze fixed firmly on him. then, you leaned in a bit closer, your voice lowering to a sultry tone. “and, i hope you're ready for more.”
“m-more?” mark blinked a few times, his mind slowly processing the reality of what had just occurred. he was still reeling from the overwhelming pleasure of your touch and now, with his mind clearing, the reality of the situation was sinking in.
“well, i told you i thought of many ways to make you cum, didn't i?”
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bbluefllame · 2 months ago
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hcs on how I think mha characters sleep
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contains: pure silly stupidness
characters: tomura shigaraki, touya todoroki, keigo takami, izuku midoriya, toga himiko, plus one katsuki hc😭
note: LISTEN GANG I WAS SLEEPY BUT I COULDNT SKEEP SO I WAS LIKE OH EM GEE!!! keigo's went out of hand 😔😔😔
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tomura shigaraki
- he usually sleeps in his normal attire, he has no energy to get up and change
- sleeps 4 hrs MAX
- his thumbs are always I mean always are covered by the rest of his fingers tightly, he probably decays mattresses every couple of months by accident
- either super light sleeper or super heavy no in-between, probably doesn't even sleep most of the time
- there's no pre-sleep routine. mf just plops down into the bed and blacks out OR he sleeps in his gaming chair😭
- if you're sleeping next to him, he would make sure he's facing the opposite side with his hands dangling at the edge of the bed just to make sure nothing happens to you.
- one thing that makes him black out is playing with his hair, like blackout like snore mimimimi type shit
- he's so still in his sleep, barely moves to the point you might think he's dead if he wasn't breathing‼️
- Overall he'd be a pretty good person to sleep next to (if he even sleeps) just make sure he doesn't have nightmares or everything is done and dusted (literally)
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touya todoroki
- he either sleeps naked or something that can't snag on the staples/ irritate his scars (probably naked bcs have you seen his room?? ITS EMPTY EMPTY THERES NOTHING BESIDES HIS USUAL CLOTHES)
- I give him 5-6 hrs maybe then he wakes up but on nights where he's in too much pain, he takes a shit ton of painkillers and tries to sleep just to wake up 2 hrs later
-biggest snorer out there, complete opposite of tomura. esp w those lungs of his omg.
- you could be sleeping and BOOM 🚉 SNOREEEEEE HONKKKK you need earplugs with him, then he wakes up and goes "I don't snore, fuck you mean??"
- he tosses and turns 24/7 also he will 100% steal the blanket and kick you off, at this point it'd be more comfortable to sleep on the ground than to sleep next to him
- yk those videos where it's like someone tweaking while sleeping, like they roll around steal blankets and kick and stuff and do the craziest shit, yeah that's touya
- idk if he has a pre sleep routine I'm leaning towards it depends? he usually just makes sure his scars are clean so he doesn't get an infection and yk die!
- I conclude, a horrible person to sleep next to. Would much rather kms than tolerate a night of his torture!
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keigo takami
- this bitch has 2 options, blackout the second he gets home in his hero attire, or if it's a day where he has to recover from an injury or something, these specific navy blue sweatpants and a black t-shirt
- depends on the day he's sleeping either 3 hrs or 9 hrs
- he doesn't snore but he talks in his sleep about the weirdest shit ever "noooo pls don't put me in the airfryer" he 100% has the weirdest fucking dreams to ever exist
- he never sleeps on his back, literally always on his stomach so his wings don't get in the way
- also on the topic of his wings, during said weird dreams if he's running away or something they start flapping and shit😭 it'd be so annoying to sleep next to him
- he sleepwalks 100% you look at that face and tell me he DOESNT?? he's a really light sleeper as well esp for nights where he might be called in
- definitely has a pre sleep routine (if he doesn't immediately blackout) ESP if you're living tg oh em gee, he'd have a longer skincare routine than you (tbf the skincare routine is kind of obligation from him to appeal to the civilians nd shit)
- he'd have a headband on his head pushing his hair back, washing his face, using a toner etcetera, and then going "baaaaaabeeee where'd you put my cosrx snail mucin, I know you used it" and he'd be all sassy and shit (twink cough cough sorry)
- if he's having a calm day, he's being the clingiest cutest little shit, you wanna go to eat? "nooo 5 minutes" . You wanna go to the bathroom? "Ugh be quick" while he's guarding the door waiting to tackle you and drag you back to bed. He's such a little (loving) shit
- he just lays there on top of you not willing to let go with a serene expression on his face, those days are rare though (fuck the commission 😠)
- random but he has some of the worst bed head you could ever see
- overall, kind of annoying to sleep next to (funny as well) but for him, who wouldn't tolerate it 🙏🏼
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izuku midoriya
- before OFA bro used to get no sleep he'd have the most fucked up sleep schedule to ever exist ‼️‼️ like during weekends no sleep at all just staying up analyzing new heroes
- w OFA he's sleeping healthily or too much with the amount of energy he uses ESP in the first seasons when he breaks his bones a shit ton
- HIS SLEEP WEAR LMAOAOA funniest thing I've seen i don't have to say anything abt it 😭 a fucking shirt w " t-shirt" on it or sumn
- doesn't snore but moves a lot, and not even kicking?? just flipping side to side or clutching the blanket like he's a woman clutching her purse in the 1800s (no one's taking it from you calm down lil bro)
- occasionally he might talk but it's like 2 words then he flips to the other side
- no pre-sleep routine but that's bc he doesn't need one, his pre-sleep routine is studying or training, BUT bro has to be like wrapping his arms and hands at night or something bcs he's in pain (his arms are fucked up there's no way he doesn't have chronic pain)
- if you're forced to sleep next to each other (insert ur own fanfic idea of why) he would be so tense he'd have his hands by his side tryna not sleep so he doesn't annoy you, at this point, you'd be annoyed by how tense he is
- he's not a bad person to sleep next to tbf, just like he might be kinda annoying that's it
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Toga Himiko
- she has pink pj's and everything she's such a cutie (some have blood on them but whoops accident!)
- she sleeps with plushies (her room is adorable. search it up pleek‼️), changes the plushie every night so "every single one of them feels loved"
- she sleeps pretty healthily although on the low side 6-7 hrs prolly, she's told by compress "You're a growing girl, you need your sleep" or something similar when she wakes up too early
- she's more giggles in her sleep rather than anything, maybe whispers a name then goes teehehehe, she's pretty calm in her sleep honestly
- she has a pre-sleep routine and it's adorable, if it's in the broke era she steals face masks (specifically hello kitty ones), moisturizers, toners, face washes and skips back to the base with a smile on her face
- has 100% forced a couple of the league members to use the face masks
- has music blasting (for some reason I see her playing like a g6 and bopping her head while putting stuff on) at 10 pm, she 100% has been forced to turn it off bcs it woke everyone up
- she's such a cuddly person as well but in the best way possible, before sleeping though 100% there's gonna be gossiping or just yapping tg
overall my favorite !! silliest girl to ever exist I luv her
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bonus katsuki
- bro sleeps like a Victorian child dying from the plague, waiting for a true loves kiss type shit you'd see him and go "wtf okay disney princess😟"
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kryannoy · 3 months ago
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what's not to love about xiangli yao
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genre: fluff, headcanon
character: xiangli yao
a/n: my heart was stolen and sadly enough, i'm not loyal to jiyan anymore😔
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He's such a gentleman.
I can see him as someone who's really sweet and caring towards his partner.
The type that would definitely bring flowers to your first date. Then, buys different gifts that you would like once he's gotten to know you better.
He has a list of the things you're interested in based on your conversations with him—whether it'd be games, books, shows, etc. He memorizes them so he can give gifts later.
If it's not obvious enough, his love languages are gift giving and quality time.
No matter how busy he is, or how he loves to be couped up in his lab, he will make time for you.
You need him to pick you up? He's on his way. You need necessary items? He's checking out. Need cuddles and attention? Yes please, consider it done.
He wouldn't mind you coming to his workplace, he'll let you stay in the lab while he does his research.
The one time you accidentally knocked his crucible off the table your heart dropped.
He saw your scared expression—your eyes so shiny with your tears begging to stain your cheeks—but he never had the intention to yell at you like you were a kid to begin with. He knows better that it was all an accident.
He approached you and there you started rambling about how it happened and apologized repeatedly until he picked up both your hands and asked, "Are you hurt?" with the most gentle voice you've heard and a worried look. You melted!
He loves to secretly and not-so secretly take pictures of you. He has a camera specifically for you only.
He loves to make plans ahead—for tomorrow, next weekend, next month, heck, even next year and years ahead. He even slipped out his plans of getting married to you and having kids and such. Boy, you never thought it was possible to see how red he can be.
He's always so calm and keeps a cool head. Even when you're yapping about your day and such, he'll attentively listen to you. However, his habit of watching you talk always gets to you and annoyingly, he doesn't get it. His face would look so soft, his gaze is gentle and he always puts a smile.
"Don't look at me with those eyes!" "What eyes?" Definitely happened.
He just can't help it. The way you get excited, or have that angry pout, it was all too adorable for him. He's just so in love with you.
If you're the one to tease him, expect lots of stutters and blinking eyes. He can hide his blush all he wants but the sudden silence and avoiding eye contact are obvious hints he's flustered.
When you patted Xiang-LEE's head when you are fully aware that Xiangli Yao was taking control, he went speechless and stumbled with his words.
But when you patted his actual head, he malfunctioned. He could not maintain eye contact with you at all after that.
Another thing he loves is when you play with his soft hair, but he gets way too shy the whole time no matter how hard he tries to stay calm. If he feels comfortable enough to succumb to the embarrassment, he buries his head into the crook of your neck to hide his blushing face.
If you tease him too much, he might actually burst his bubble.
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pomefioredove · 3 months ago
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hello hello! i see that the headcanon requests are open, so i have arrived 🐺🐺 i'd like to request the housewardens + chenya, neige and ortho with a reader that's mute! i feel like this would be an interesting thing to go off of. feel free to write it as something reader gained after a certain event, or as an illness that they were born with. platonic would be great, but i think romantic would be absolutely adorable too (minus ortho obviously) so go wild, do whatever you want >:) if this is fine for you to write of course!! love your writing, youre my favourite blog on tumblr hehe (runs away)
thank you so much!! and ofc ofc. I'm writing this based off my own experiences with being semiverbal so if I get something wrong,,, that's on me 😔
summary: nonspeaking reader type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, che'nya, leona, azul, kalim, vil, neige, idia, ortho (platonic), malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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I think Riddle is more adaptive than others give him credit for
it's not like there's any rule about not speaking
(and if there was, he would make an exception for you. he's not completely unreasonable)
I can see him learning sign language with you
and if that's not your thing, he'll figure something else out
he's a fast learner, after all
and he wants to make you comfortable, too. not that he'd ever outright admit it...
(obvious favoritism)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Che'nya is always quick on his feet
or... on air?
anyway
that means that he isn't one to let the absence of conversation stop him from his usual mischief
and he does love charades...
it's almost like he can read your thoughts. or your... hands? expressions?
whenever someone is giving you a hard time, they miiight just end up talking back to a floating head
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona actually never really... brings it up
before he had the full story, he just figured you were shy around him
(which went straight to his head, of course)
so he was already used to it when he found out it's not something you can control
and... he treats you no different for it
he knows you're not stupid or rude just because you're not yapping all the time
and if anyone else gave you a hard time about it... they'd be answering to him
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
no worries with Azul
I mean, the guy can really do it all
sign language, pen and paper, text-to-speech, body language...
he's rather adaptable, and, trust me, being unable or unwilling to speak won't stop him
the offer to give you the voice of a beautiful singer is still on the table... but he can't blame you for not taking the deal
of course
in the meantime, you can come to him for anything and he'll help you out
on the house <3
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Kalim's heart is in the right place
is he disappointed you won't be able to talk and sing and cheer with him? a little
you're used to the disappointment, unfortunately
but he doesn't give up so easily
or... at all
no singing? he's handing you an instrument
no talking? no problem, he knows you're still listening!
no hummin, shouting, cheering? he can make enough noise for the both of you
he makes sure you're included in everything
very sweet
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil has high expectations, but he isn't unreasonable
if you can't talk, you can't talk, and that's final
that doesn't excuse you from everything else in his strict regimen, though
what may be a weakness to others is a strength to him
you can improve yourself tenfold by focusing on what you can do rather than what you can't
writing, dancing, music...
however you choose to express yourself, he's very supportive
much like Kalim, he includes you in every conversation, every decision, every yes/no question
he's pretty great
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Neige! Neige is a sweetie
I like to think of Neige as someone who's actually quite timid in person, despite his career
it's probably your quietness that draws him to you in the first place
he is so very supportive
he's the kind of introvert to suddenly become extroverted when someone needs help
"excuse me, they asked for no pickles" type of guy
he'll hold your hand through everything if you need it, and remain by your side if you don't
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho and Idia are probably the best people to have on your side
Idia just feels so much more... comfortable around you, since he struggles with speaking, himself
he'll let you use his tablet if you need it to speak
...and then he'll get you one of your own, so he doesn't have a heart attack when you accidentally switch tabs
he'll even program a custom voice or two for you
Ortho is a walking translator for you
with a database full of information on body language and expression, he can determine your emotional state in a single glance
he's happy to help in any way he can, of course!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
at some point, Malleus needs a shirt that says "#1 Prefect Defender"
you haven't said a single word to him but if anything happened to you he would curse everyone in this room and then himself
(he means well, I promise)
he's never minded, nor questioned your silence
certain fae communicate through lights or movement rather than sound, so it isn't even anything strange to him
you fit right in at Diasomnia
and you're welcome to stay here for as long as you please
(hint hint)
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0omillo0 · 19 days ago
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HAN X READER — JEALOUSY
angst, happy ending
synopsis: During Han’s tour, jealousy and misunderstandings strain his relationship with Y/N.
˚୨୧⋆。♡˚⋆
You curled up in bed, pulling the covers tighter around your shoulders as the concert livestream played on your laptop. The screen glowed with bright lights and the screams of fans, their adoration for Han filling the room. Your heart swelled with pride as he stood on stage, pouring his soul into the performance. He looked electrified, alive in a way only music could make him.
Y/N: Knock ’em dead tonight! I’m so proud of you! I’ll be watching 💜
A second later, his reply came through.
Han: Thanks, babe. Thinking of you. Wish you could be here 😔
You smiled, feeling that pang of missing him mixed with gratitude. Watching him perform was almost enough to fill the space he’d left behind — almost.
The next song started, and you watched with a proud, content smile until something made your heart dip. The camera panned, catching Han as he made his way down the stage, engaging with fans along the barricades. He leaned close, flashing that signature smile that you knew all too well. And then, with one fan near the front row, he took her hand. He lingered, his expression soft as he chatted with her, giving her that devoted look he often gave you. Your stomach tightened.
The minutes stretched on, and you couldn’t shake the hollow feeling that had crept in. You told yourself that it was just fan service, that it was part of his job, but your mind refused to quiet. Why was he lingering so long? Why did it feel like more than just a quick interaction?
Before you could fully process it, your breathing had turned shallow, chest feeling like it was caving in. Panic coiled in your stomach, and your hands trembled as you clutched your phone. You needed to talk to someone, anyone. You thought for a while and after the show, you dialed Felix.
The phone barely rang before he answered.
Felix: “Y/N? Hey, what’s up?”
Your voice came out in shaky breaths, words stumbling over each other. “I—I’m sorry to call so late, I just… I’m freaking out.”
Felix: “Hey, hey, slow down. It’s okay, I’m here. What happened?”
You took a deep breath, struggling to find the words. “Han was… he was holding hands with a fan at the concert. I know it’s dumb, but… it just got to me. They looked so close.”
Felix: “Y/N… I get it, I do. You know he loves you, right? He’s just trying to connect with fans.”
Y/N: “I know, but… it hurt, Felix. He looked so… sincere.”
Felix: “I know it’s hard, but he’s doing it for the fans, not to hurt you. Just breathe, okay? You’re allowed to feel this way, but remember, his connection with you is real. You’re the one he calls every night, not anyone else.”
You exhaled shakily, feeling the tension start to ease. “Thanks, Felix. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Felix: “Anytime, Y/N. You don’t have to go through this alone, you know?”
As you hung up, a small part of you felt reassured, yet doubts lingered. But the comfort Felix provided was something to hold on to, at least for tonight.
Hours later, halfway across the world, Han stood in a quiet backstage hallway, trying to clear his head when he overheard his name. He stopped, listening as your voice, faint but unmistakable, carried through the phone. And then he heard Felix’s voice, soft and reassuring, comforting you. It stung — why hadn’t you come to him first?
When he finally got back to his hotel room, he saw your messages but didn’t open them right away. His thoughts swirled with emotions, jealousy the loudest among them. He opened his messages and began typing, fingers moving faster than his mind.
Han: Why did you go to Felix with this?
You replied almost instantly.
Y/N: I had a panic attack, Han. I didn’t know who else to call.
Han: But you could’ve waited. You could’ve… trusted me to handle this.
Y/N: Waited? Han, I needed someone in that moment. You weren’t there, and I was falling apart.
Han: You don’t think it hurts to hear you went to someone else with this?
Y/N: I wasn’t trying to hurt you! I just… I needed someone, and Felix was there.
Han: Well, maybe… maybe it’s better if you just don’t call me while I’m on tour. This is just too much.
Y/N: Han… are you serious right now?
Han: I’ll call you when I can handle this. But please, don’t message me for a while.
The silence that followed felt suffocating. You stared at the screen, disbelief mingling with a deep, piercing pain. With shaking hands, you set your phone down and shut your laptop. The hollow ache turned into an overwhelming emptiness.
Days passed in a blur of missed calls and unread messages. You’d turned off your phone, needing to escape the world that had once felt so full with him in it. Nights blurred into days, loneliness pressing in on you like a weight you couldn’t shake.
Across the world, Han felt every second of your silence, each one heavier than the last. His words replayed in his mind, sharp and unforgiving. He knew he had overreacted, let his jealousy get the best of him, but pride and guilt kept him from reaching out. It was Felix, eventually, who confronted him.
Felix: “You realize what you did, right?”
Han: “Felix, I was upset. I didn’t think—”
Felix: “No, you didn’t think. She called you, desperate, because she needed you. And you told her not to.”
Han ran a hand through his hair, guilt churning in his gut. “I just… I got jealous. She’s close to you, and I…”
Felix: “So you punished her for it. She’s been miserable, Han. Fix this.”
When Han finally gathered the courage, he knew words alone wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to show you how deeply he regretted his actions. He called a florist, ordering 500 roses, each one a silent plea for forgiveness. Alongside them, he sent a letter.
Y/N,
I was wrong. I’m sorry.
I let my own jealousy cloud my judgment and hurt you. You are the most important person in my life, and I can’t bear the thought of pushing you away. No amount of distance can lessen what I feel for you, and I was selfish to let my pride get in the way. Please give me a chance to make this right. I love you, and I’m so sorry for the pain I caused.
Love, Han
When the roses arrived, you stared at them, your heart pounding with a mixture of relief and hesitation. Each petal felt like an apology, each one carrying a whisper of the love you feared was lost.
With trembling fingers, you dialed his number. He answered on the first ring, his voice breathless.
Han: “Y/N…”
The silence stretched, filled with emotions neither of you knew how to express.
Y/N: “I don’t know why you would do that, Han. Why you’d make me feel like… like I didn’t deserve to feel those things. This was the first time I was jealous and I was scared to talk about it. Now I know I can’t do it.”
Han: “ No no no baby, you have to talk about it… I’m so sorry— I know I didn’t react well and I regret every second of it. I was angry… and I didn’t think about what you needed. Only what I felt.”
Y/N: “You really hurt me.”
Han: “I know, and if I could take back those words, I would. I’ll never make you feel that way again, I promise.”
A weight lifted, the ache in your chest easing as you listened to him, his voice full of genuine regret. You felt the love that had always been there, beneath the hurt and distance, waiting for you both to reach it again.
Y/N: “Just… don’t ever do that again. Don’t make me feel like I can’t come to you.”
Han: “I won’t. I swear. I love you, Y/N, and I’ll spend every day showing you that.”
A soft smile crept onto your face as you finally allowed yourself to forgive him. The hurt was real, but so was his love — and so was yours.
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elexuscal · 3 months ago
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So just over a year ago, I made a resolution to myself to get better at Fitness, since I was getting older and i knew if i didn't, the Consequences would begin to manifest. One problem? Historically i have always hated working out.
i knew there were two main reasons why: 1. lingering trauma from the usual Fat/Neurodivergent Kid Mistreated In PE Class Experience 2. oh my god it's so so so boring i would rather do anything more entertaining.
So. I'm not an expert, and i'm definitely not a professional fitness instructor, BUT i have genuinely come to not just tolerate but actually enjoy exercise this past year. So if these are any problems you personally have contended with, these strategies May Help.
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One: Remove Barriers
a lot of flavours of neurodivergence struggle with switching between tasks and executive function generally, especially towards something you don't find fun. So first you gotta identify any barriers keeping you from exercising, and removing or mitigating them.
For me, a hurdle i recognised is that if I could not easily access the equipment, I was unlikely to use it. honestly if i couldn't see it i would probably forget it was there. So my first order of business was making a Work Out Zone. I unrolled my yoga mat and gave it a near-permanent place in my room. my weights came out of the closet and placed on a low shelf where i could easily access them, as did my resistance band. now they were always Right there.
I also realised something I detested was the general feeling of sweaty clothes, and in particular, having to change out of them. So Gross. so i started scheduling my work outs for in the the morning after breakfast or right before my nightly showers, aka: when I am changing in and out of my PJs. I'll do my routine (mostly) naked and not have to contend with the extra steps and laundry that sweaty clothes bring.
two: secondary entertainment
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like i said: i found exercise very boring. and while i've gotten better over the past year, and can find it meditative, i still prefer having something else to catch my attention.
i used to like to put on video essays. but then i realised i was so often pausing my work outs because the particular video ended, or the pace got slow, or the topic turned to something dark and depressing out of nowhere and killed the vibe, so then i had to stop to find something else--
No. You need something that will keep you in the zone, and won't knock you out of it. I didn't used to listen to music much, but this year i took advantage of a Spotify subscription my sister gifted me (😔) and started just putting on upbeat rock, hip-hop, and pop mixes. it doesn't need to be my favouirte music ever it just needs to Keep Going.
i do find the loud, rhythmic music is really good for keeping my pace up, but if music doesn't do it for you, you might find audiobooks or autoplaying favourite old tv shows/sitcoms might scratch that itch.
Three: Find Other Motivators
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Or, "if you can't make your own motivation, store bought is fine"
Gameification is really good here. You might be someone who'll benefit from a pedometer or step-counter app. I have a friend who swears by the Switch Ring-Fit, and I've also heard of folks who use games like Just Dance, Zombies, Run! and Beat Saber to rely on the sweet sweet endorphins generated by hitting a high score.
(BUT: do beware the dark side of gameification, which is the risk of demotivation if you don't hit your goals. For example, after doing GREAT on exceeding my step goal for a month, I got hit with COVID. For about a week and a half I was barely moving beyond the kitchen and back. My step counts plummeted, there was no way to edit the record out, and that made it harder to get back into the groove. Be mindful relying too much on gameification!)
Even outside of literal games, there are ways to scratch this itch. I used secondary objectives as a way to encourage me to keep up with my daily walks. Walking my roommate's dog when he was working long days is an obvious one, but we don't always have a furry friend at our disposal. Then I would rely on mini-challenges like, "pick up 10 cool rocks to paint", "fill this bag with wood for the fireplace", "take 10 pretty pictures", or "get to the corner store to get more milk".
And of course, consider team sports! Many folks I've talked to feel having set training/play times with a team that relies on them crucial to keep them on track!
Four: Don't Measure Success By Weight Loss
I know. I know. Easier said than done. It does not help that like 80% of workout resources online are going to mention this. but above all else, you must resist the beast. (and while not as dicey, measuring success by visible muscle gain can fall into a similar trap).
The biggest benefits to exercise are invisible. it improves cardiovascular health, brain function, tissue regeneration, immune system function, lung capacity, energy levels, literally our whole body. no matter what external changes your body does or doesn't go through, you're still going to be benefitting from exercise, and you do not want to get demotivated chasing unrealistic/irrelevant goals.
Instead, to track your progress, focus on questions like these:
How is exercise impacting my mood? Do I feel less stressed or anxious?
Am I sleeping better?
Is my balance improving?
Is my stamina increasing?
Am I becoming more flexible?
Can I lift/carry heavier weights?
Is my breath control improving?
Over the last year, I've seen marked improvements in all of these. My joints don't hurt as much; it's easier for me to to get up and move; I don't get winded as easily; I generally feel more relaxed and cheerful. Those are all amazing outcomes, and I hope that everyone on their own fitness journey can find the same joy there as I have.
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