#someone needs to take him away from me IMMEDIATELY

[n0vazsq]

Tired of being alone | OP81 x Reader

pairing . . . oscar piastri x nurse!gf!reader

summary . . . Watching your boyfriend reveal your relationship on international TV, you realise that you missed him more than you realised

request . . . yes!! based on this request!

word count . . . 712

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . N/A

alexavia yaps . . . i have a free lesson rn so why not be productive and write? it's a bit shitty and kinda rushed but my next lesson is eng and i can NOT be late for it </3 saur sorry pookie!!

taglist . . . @barcapix (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

. . . You slumped into the couch, limbs heavy from another exhausting shift. The hum of the TV filled the room, flickering softly in the dim light.

Your scrubs were still on, your shoes kicked off by the door. The thought of getting up to change or even eat felt too overwhelming after all those back to back shifts at the hospital. All you wanted was to melt into the couch and let the familiar background noise wash over you.

Oscar’s voice drifted into the room, steady and comforting. His interviews were always a joy to watch, making you smile and laugh, just like a kid watching their favourite cartoon. You hadn’t even registered what the interview was about; something about the upcoming Las Vegas GP, until the interviewer leaned in with a knowing grin.

"So, Oscar, we heard you stayed busy during the break between Brazil and Vegas. Anything special?"

You perked up, the exhaustion momentarily forgotten. Oscar’s laugh came through the speakers, soft and a little awkward. It was a laugh you knew well, the one he gave when he wasn’t sure how much to share. Your heart started beating a little faster.

"Well," he began, rubbing the back of his neck, a habit that always made you melt. "I spent most of it taking care of someone close to me. She works really long shifts and don’t always get enough rest, so I made sure she was… comfortable."

You blinked, sitting up straighter. Did he just-? Your heart skipped a beat, eyes widening.

The interviewer’s eyes widened at his sentence, just like how you did, as if he was mimicking your actions. "Interesting," he teased, leaning in slightly. "Care to share more details? Who’s this mysterious lady?"

Oscar’s smile was small, but it reached his eyes, soft and sincere. "Let’s just say she's in healthcare. A nurse, actually. She's been pretty amazing, and I wanted to make sure she had a break too."

Your breath caught in your throat. There it was. A soft launch, wrapped in his quiet, subtle way. Oscar wasn’t the type of person who did grand gestures or flashy declarations, but this? This felt perfect. It was a little secret, meant just for you, even with the world watching.

The interviewer pressed on, curiosity piqued. "A nurse, huh? Sounds like you’ve got someone special in your world."

Oscar’s eyes flickered with that shy warmth you adored. "Yeah," he admitted, voice softer. "I do."

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, pressing a hand to your mouth. The exhaustion of the day melted away, replaced by a warm, fluttering feeling in your chest. He always had a way of making you feel seen, even when you were miles apart.

Your phone buzzed beside you. Picking it up, you saw that it was a text from Oscar.

Hope you’re watching. Rest up, yeah? ❤

You bit your lip, a grin spreading across your face. He always knew exactly what you needed.

Busted, Mr. Soft Launch. I owe you a dinner.

Your phone buzzed again almost immediately.

Only if you let me cook.

You leaned back into the couch, the smile refusing to leave your face. The weight of the day didn’t feel so heavy anymore. Knowing that he’d spent his break looking after you, making sure you were okay, it made all the long shifts and sleepless nights worth it.

On the screen, the interview moved on to other questions, but you weren’t really listening anymore. You were too lost in the quiet joy of knowing you were loved; subtly, quietly, and now, a little bit known by the world too.

You texted back, fingers hovering over the keys for a moment.

I’m tired of being alone all day. Come home faster.

His reply came quickly, almost as if he’d been waiting for it.

See you soon. It’s worth it for you. Every time.

Your heart swelled, and you sank deeper into the couch's soft cushions, the warmth of his words wrapping around you like a blanket. Even with the miles between you, he had a way of making you feel like you were home.

In that adorable way that made you feel loved and cherished, just like when you were a kid.

God, you loved him more than anything.

[starkeynation]

Is it casual now?

Content : angst, a bit similar to the scene where Sofia overheard Rafe saying she’s not his girlfriend, inspired by the song Casual by Chappell Roan (may or may not be accurate)

a/n : sorry in advanced i know Chappell is for the girlies also idk if im proud of this but your likes and reblogs will always be appreciated🤍

── ⋆⋅˚ʚ♡ɞ˚⋅⋆ ──

It has been exactly 4 months since you met Rafe Cameron, the kook king you never knew you would fall so deeply for. The first time you met him, you were nothing but a blur in his world. A passing figure and a random pogue that was at his party. But Rafe, you saw something in him the moment you met his sparkling blue eyes. You couldn’t exactly tell what it was. Maybe it’s the fact that he looks so handsome even under bad lights, or the way you could listen to him forever every time he speaks. At that moment, you were ready to risk it all.

You made your move that night. The way you charmed him may have made him realize you both were something more than strangers passing through each other’s lives and ever since then, you were both inseparable. Although he said “No attachment,” the first time you both hooked up, you still went along with it, hoping it could be real one day.

Sometimes when you’re hanging out with your friends outside, you would hear some rumors saying you’re just a girl that Rafe bangs on his couch. The pogues call you a loser for still hanging around him but you ignore them and the rumors because most of the time he treats you as if you were someone he couldn’t lose. Just two weeks after knowing each other, he invites you to dinner with his whole family. The way he fucks you in the bathroom while his parents are still at the table, the way he brings you to the country club and shows you off, the way he’s eating you out in the passenger seat, and mostly the way he talks to you, so gently and sweet that got you thinking maybe this isn’t just some dumb love.

You’re at the pub where you agreed to meet Rafe. The sky on the way there was already turning a heavy blue slate, signaling that rain was on the way. You enter the pub and recognize Rafe’s back immediately standing on the other end accompanied by Topper and his foul girlfriend Ruthie. As you are about to approach them, you hear his voice, “She’s not my girlfriend okay, it’s just…casual. No strings attached.”

You freeze. The words land like ice in your chest, sharp and cold. If that isn’t enough you then hear Ruthie say, “You sure about that Rafe? How do your parents feel that you’re living with a pogue,” she smirks, her eyes gleaming with sarcasm.

“I’m not fucking living with a pogue okay,” he says annoyingly.

You have to steady yourself. You could feel your stomach churn as you’re processing what you’re hearing. You can’t believe it. You both never had a “talk” about being exclusive, but you thought you were starting to matter to him and close to making it official.

You hide behind a column in the middle of the pub, trying to decide what to do. Part of you wants to walk away, leave without saying a word, and let him figure out what he’d lost. But you couldn’t just let it go. So you make your way to the table, keeping a neutral face, and try to hold back your tears.

“Hey, there you are,” Rafe smiles, as you approach him.

“Hey,” you say, your voice steady, though it takes everything you have to keep it from shaking. “We need to talk.” Before he could say anything, you grab his hand taking him outside the pub. As you stand outside, it’s already drizzling.

“Whoa, what’s wrong? Can't we talk inside? It’s raining,” he asks, his voice full of confusion.

You let go of his hand and go silent for a moment. He looks at your face that is now about to cry, “Baby what’s wrong?” he says.

“Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it Rafe,” you mutter.

He blinks. “What are you talking about?”

“I heard you,” your voice loud now. “Telling them we’re not dating? No strings attached? Seriously Rafe? After these past few months? Is it casual now?”

Rafe’s face shifts, the unease creeping into his features. He clears his throat, trying to smooth over the tension. “Look, I thought we’re on the same page here-“

“Same page? What same page are we talking about?” You cut him off. “I thought you were starting to look at me differently now Rafe.” You fluster. “Oh and not to mention calling me a pogue? I thought we’re WAY past that..”

He sighs, scratching the back of his head. “Ok about that I'm sorry kay’. I didn’t mean to call you a pogue just, you know…Topper and Ruthie, they caught me off guard. And you never really talked about anything more serious, so I figured we’re just not together.”

You could feel the heat rising in your chest. “I never talked about it? Oh so now I’m the one to blame? Are you serious?” Your eyes narrow.

He pauses, trying to find the right thing to say. “I just…I’m happy with the way we are right now. I’m not-“

“Not what? Not ready to be in a relationship? That’s bullshit.” You cut him off again, not wanting to hear any excuses. “How can you stand there and say you’re okay with this? After all the plans we made, the endless nights we spent?” you continue, meeting his gaze that looks unbothered. “You know what…I can’t…yes, I tried to be the chill girl who holds her tongue and gives you space but not anymore. No, I’m done,” you say, trying to walk away.

The rain is getting heavier now, and both of you are soaking wet. “Wait,” he calls out your name. “Just wait okay…I’m sorry I hurt you, yes I would be lying if I said this doesn’t mean something but just give me time okay, I just…I can't do relationships right now,” he says, grabbing your wrist trying to stop you.

“No Rafe,” you shake your head, a tear runs down to your cheek. “I’m done waiting. It’s hard Rafe…It’s hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser and it’s definitely not casual when I’m always on the phone talking to Wheezie like I’m her sister,” you swallow, biting your inner cheek trying to keep your emotion in check.

He gives a small dismissive wave, like I’m overthinking things. “Well I did warn you no attachment, y/n,” he says, with such cold detachment, as if his words are nothing more than a simple fact, devoid of any emotion.

You look at him with disappointment crawling up to your throat. He isn’t even trying to make it work, not even pretending to care about how you feel. You hate the fact what he said is true, he did warn you not to get attached and you hate yourself even more for dragging this on for so long. You stare at him for a moment longer, “Fuck you, Rafe,” then you turn and walk away to your car. There is no use in arguing with someone who has no intention of changing their mind. If this is how Rafe sees you, then he is not the guy you think he is.

Maybe he is okay with keeping things casual but you deserve more than that. Rafe Cameron can go to hell.

[kastighur]

← back. ᝰ.ᐟ taking care of mr. crawling.

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 homicipher. mr. crawling. fluff. gn! reader // wc : 504

! i’m assuming that the residents of the other world don’t interact much with one another, and if they do, it’s little, without showing much care or concern.

! so, when mr. crawling met you, he immediately wanted to protect you and you looked like you needed it.

! the first two days or so it was understandable that you would be uncomfortable with his touchy advantages. mr. crawling would probably be upset but it won’t deter him shielding you from harm.

! the first time when you stopped in the middle of a hallway to look back, he was confused, were you scared ? hurt ? in pain ?

! you replied that you were just checking on him and he was ecstatic ! someone cared about him !

“ no hurt no pain, me fine ! “

! the first time you protected him from harm he couldn’t stop staring at you more than he already does.

! after an extensive check over your physical well-being he felt so cared for.

“ you protect me..? “

! anytime you looked just a little bit sleepy he would constantly ask you to rest, pointing at a random door which he would enter first to show you it was safe.

! somehow mr. crawling knew exactly which rooms were safe and had a place where you could rest. you assumed his knowledge came from the fact that he’s stayed here his whole life. in reality, he actually remembers the areas which had rooms from previous excursions together, so you could use them when those earthquakes shifted the rooms.

! anytime you laid down he would sleep right next to you. making sure you were away from the door and his body was facing it instead. ensuring that if anyone were to enter he would be the target.

! that day after you accidentally killed him, you felt awful. so when the both of you found a room to rest, you used your body as a shield instead.

! mr. crawling would attempt to gently scoot you over but you were insistent, pulling him to the empty spot next to you.

“ sleep, me take care of you. “

! he would be hesitant but allowed you to do so to avoid an argument.

! but you both wouldn’t sleep that night, instead, it was spent laying with each other.

! you took one of his hands in yours, admiring the boney slender structure of them. his nails and palms were dirty, calloused and scarred from the decrepit floors.

! mr. crawling giggled as you massaged his grey fingers, enjoying the noises made when his bones would crack. watching them move in ways he never knew they could, the aches were prominent but soothing in some way.

“ touch like, grateful. “

! mr. crawling extended his arms, pulling you closer, tucking his chin under your head, a hand on your scalp and the other around you.

! you would do the same, wrapping your arms around his waist and a hand on his chest.

“ me like you, like you many. “

! you would anything for crawling, and you were certain he would do anything for you too.

> this was so fun to write ! lmk if you’d want a pt.2 i have more ideas.

© @kastighur

[sayyestoheav3nn]

Nights Like This Short: Late Night Thoughts

Roman x black!oc

Warnings: language, smut

Word count: 1.1k

a/n: if you would like to added to the tag list, or if i tagged you and it didn’t work, please feel free to let me know 🤍

Three weeks.

Roman hadn’t seen Zoe for three weeks since they first spoke. After his win he had decided to take some time off, and although he found his time away peaceful, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

This was definitely new for Roman, and truth be told it wasn’t something he was used to.

Sure he’s fucked a bitch or two on the WWE roster, but never someone he has actually had any interest in. No one, and he means no one had caught his eye the way she did.

Not to mention how fucking beautiful she was. He remembered the way she stumbled whenever he stepped closer to her. Or the way his dick slightly hardened when she would look up at him with those big beautiful eyes. He loved the sound of her soft soothing voice, he could listen to her talk all day if she’d let him.

All these thoughts were running through his mind as he pulled up to the arena. As he stepped into the building and made his way through the corridors trying to find his private room, he bumped into Paul Heyman, who seemed to be waiting on him.

“Good evening my tribal chief, t-this way sir.” Roman silently followed his lead, he wasn’t exactly in the mood for talking. As he made it inside his spacious room, he signaled Paul to leave.

Roman appreciated the time to himself, he loves his wiseman, but he tends to irritate the fuck out of him when he talks his ears off.

As he went to change clothes, his steps were halted when he heard her voice in the hallway. He slowly turned around to open the door, when he stepped out the first thing he saw was her beautiful face. She started to walk towards him, he could tell she seemed hesitant at first.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” she grinned.

“You missed me sweetheart?” He smirked.

She paused for a moment, her cheeks were starting to redden. “Nah, I was just worried your wiseman was gonna have a stroke, he’s been a mess without you,” she smiled.

He laughed, “He’s a grown ass man, he’ll be alright.”

Speaking of the fucking devil. The wiseman popped out of nowhere, waddling over towards them. “T-triple H needs to speak with you m-my tribal chief.”

Roman was unamused, “I’m in the middle of something, he can wait.”

“B-but my tribal chief, it seemed v-very important.”

“It’s okay, go. Don’t want to be the reason the boss gets upset,” she offered a sympathetic smile.

Roman reluctantly nodded his head in agreement, “I’ll see you after?”

Her brows furrowed with confusion. “Don’t you usually leave right away?”

“Not if I have a reason to stay.”

She looked down with an nervous smile.

Roman walked away, as he turned the corner he immediately stopped and turned back around. He could see she was confused as to why he was jogging back towards her.

He pulled out his phone, handing it to her. “Your number, just in case I can’t find you after.”

She typed it in with no hesitation, most likely since she knew their boss was waiting.

“Thanks, see you later Zo.”

……………….

Roman got home late, he was pissed that his meetings after smackdown prevented him from seeing Zo before she left. The first thing he did when he got to his room, was take a shower and then lie down, his body was exhausted. As time passed he accepted the fact that he couldn’t fall asleep. As he was twisting and turning, his mind began to think about Zo. His thoughts became hornier as time passed. He couldn’t help but to imagine what it would be like to bend her over and fuck her till she came over and over again. His dick was getting hard just thinking about it, he imagined what her moans and screams would sound like. She’d probably be shy at first, until his dick felt too good for her to suppress her screams and moans.

As he was visualizing having her facedown on the bed while he fucked her rough and deep, he could feel his dick starting to throb. Roman pulled down his sweatpants and quickly slipped his hands in his boxers grabbing his big dick that already had a few beads of pre-cum dripping down. He spit on his hand and gently rolled his thumb over his thick mushroom head and slowly proceeded to start pulling on his shaft, his eyes were closed and his head was thrown back on the headboard.

“Fuck,” he moaned while slightly picking up the pace.

His big calloused hands worked up and down his veiny shaft, his groans were getting louder as he thought about how his dick would feel inside her soaked pussy. How she’d moan while he stretched her out, he’d probably be the biggest she’s ever had. She’d be addicted to his dick, the same way he’d be addicted to her pussy.

He imagined them switching positions with her on top of him, riding his dick allowing him to have the perfect view of her titties bouncing.

The thought of her moaning and squelching on his dick had him on the verge of coming, he started stroking faster. “Shit, just like that baby, ride this dick,” he whispered.

Roman imagined Zo whimpering and begging him to let her come again, but not yet, he wanted them to come together.

He’d guide her into a new position, missionary. A position that was once his least favorite, was now something that he wanted to do, with her. He wanted to see that beautiful face under his bulking body, unraveling for him. One hand teasing her clit, while the other gripped the headboard.

He was close, so fucking close.

Her tight pussy would grip and pull on his dick, their juices flowing together. “Go ahead baby, come for daddy,” he moaned, with his eyes were squeezed shut.

“Fuck, baby.” That was it. Roman couldn’t hold himself back any longer, he didn’t even have time to grab a rag before his cum spurt all over his stomach. He could feel it tricking down his abs.

Shit. He got up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing a rag and cleaning himself. He couldn’t remember the last time jerking off felt that good.

There was no denying that his attraction to her wasn’t going to be a phase, a small smile began to form on his face.

The tribal chief always gets what he wants, and in this moment, his number one priority was to make his fantasy a reality.

[auroracalisto]

Hey can you do a fiyero x reader where the reader is afraid of being vulnerable and he helps them?

yes, superfartninja, i think i can.

to be changed.

movie!fiyero x gn!reader, 3.4k words summary: to be vulnerable meant to be defenseless. it was a liability and that's all it ever would be. fiyero couldn't have that, now could he? a/n: please remember that i only have movie knowledge, so this will be based solely on what i saw in the movie. :P also, shout outs to house song by searows (was on repeat for this fic). erm. this kind of got away from me. i started it was 12 AM and now it's nearly 2 AM. hope it's coherent.

It wasn't like you to be vulnerable. It just didn't happen. It was like... asking a fish or an elephant to climb a tree, or some other weird analogy that you heard oh-so-long ago, when vulnerability aged you more than it helped.

To be vulnerable meant to be hurt. To be ridiculed, to be laughed at, to be made a fool in front of anyone who cared to look your way. It was something that you knew was not needed. You would be fine living by yourself. You came into this world alone and screaming, and you would leave this world the same way.

If you cut out the wound before it began to fester, you solved the problem immediately. Or so they say.

So that's what you did, long ago, when you swore to yourself that the pain you felt would be the very last time. It would never happen again. It couldn't happen again.

Oh, Oz, it couldn't. Your heart couldn't take it.

What was left of your heart, anyway. Sometimes you feared you no longer had one, especially when you feared the pain that would haunt you if someone else came along and made you feel that way again.

It's not that you were afraid. No, fear of being vulnerable was foolish. At least... you believed that you weren't afraid of being vulnerable.

Perhaps that was an act of foolishness in itself. Pretending that you weren't afraid. Pretending that having few friends and few moments of happiness didn't pierce your heart with every passing second.

Perhaps you needed to be better. To be vulnerable, to swear off that silly promise you made to yourself so many years ago.

But it was so difficult.

Being vulnerable was to be in pain. To be lost to a world of sorrow. To be... hurt by the very thing you swore you'd never be hurt by again.

It wouldn't happen.

You wouldn't let it.

He existed in the back of your mind. His beautiful brown eyes, the way those pretty locks fell in front of his eyes when he actually studied his books (if he ever did, of course).

When was the last time he actually tried...? No. You couldn't think of him like that. Too much thinking about his pretty face would ruin you.

You had only talked to him a few times here and there, and the first time was to merely ask him to move out of the way. He took up quite a lot of space—or at least, maybe it was his confidence. It oozed from him like an air of upmost superiority.

No...

You were just being cruel. He was just standing in the way, out of breath from singing to Galinda in the library (because of course—who didn't sing to pretty girls in libraries anymore?).

The second time you spoke to him was over the essay you had to write in your literature class. Peer reviews were the bane of your existence, and this essay, because of course it did, had a simple prompt in response to one of your readings: Taking into account the author's sheer disdain for the idea of magic, write what you believe Oz would be like without magic.

Thought-provoking, yes. You wrote a decent two pages, handwritten of course.

He gave you a paragraph.

If the world of Oz existed without magic, perhaps we would all be better off. No more bickering over the usages of it all, no more idiosyncrasies, no more debates on whether you are intelligent or mediocre if you hadn't the ability to wave a wand or utter a simple spell. If we didn't have magic, perhaps life would be far more difficult, but I also feel as if we should see what it would be like. Maybe there would be less heartbreak. More happiness to go around.

Okay. A piss-poor paragraph that made you wonder how he was even passing Madame Lillabet's literature class.

Maybe he wasn't.

You didn't feel pity for the man—nobility had the ability to do so many things that you would only ever dream of. Why should you feel pity—vulnerability—for a man you didn't know, let alone understood?

Oz, even now, his essay haunted you. You did your best with your review, pointing out the obvious things missing—a decent thesis, body paragraphs that proved his thesis, and just in general, an entire essay that was expected of the entire class.

He merely read over your essay and made one simple comment: Excellent.

Oh, yes, excellent. It was excellent to know that he was just trying to help your essay, yes? Leaving that little comment, even though you didn't make full marks—how was it supposed to help you?

Pity be damned. He was a fool, through and through.

Things muddled in your mind like they often did. Thoughts racing, heartbeat close behind the quick pace.

If you had magic, you'd be sure to quell it.

These thoughts were the one thing that you wished you could squash under the heel of your boot. They were the bane of your existence, the utterance of a foolhardy penance to the god of whatever looked down upon you and wished for pain.

Perhaps that was what was meant for you.

A life of pain—of pity from others, of the amenability to be swayed by those around you even when you tried, desperately, to stay away from those who may catch your attention.

Like him.

Oh, Oz, just like him.

Fiyero.

The man who'd lose his head if it wasn't attached to his shoulders. The man who once told you in passing that if he hadn't a brain, perhaps classes would be easier—then he wouldn't truly be all there, and he'd easily get around the... well, specifics of it all. The man whom you felt tugging at your heartstrings, even when you told yourself no.

It would not happen.

It could not happen.

You would not let it.

In typical, terrible luck fashion, you found yourself wandering the halls of Shiz late at night, unable to sleep. The thoughts racing through your head of so many things, not just him (although they kept leading back to the fool), they just weren't stopping.

An exam was to be held tomorrow. Perhaps you could create a distraction—keep the professors from being able to do as they needed. There were a box of fireworks hidden in one of the many corridor closets, kept for special occasion. You could whip a few of them out and create so much chaos that they'd surely have to cancel the exam!

You leaned against the railing, looking down at the stonework of Shiz's courtyard. A chill ran down your spine from the cold breeze, and for once, all was silent if only for a moment.

His voice brought you out from your thoughts.

"Y/n," he said, an obvious smile playing at his lips.

You squeezed your eyes shut and glanced back at him. Without saying a word, you acknowledged him.

"Doesn't look like your dorm," he continued. "What are you doing out here, all alone?"

"Thinking."

His eyebrow quirked. "Thinking? Oh," he softly hummed, coming to stand beside of you. "Well, that's no fun, now is it? What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

He snorted softly. "You're thinking about... nothing?"

"Whatever I'm thinking is none of your business," you retorted.

He stared you down for a moment, tilting his head curiously. He hummed again and looked out at where you had been staring moments prior.

"You are right," he softly said, voice much quieter this time. "Let me lead you back to your room. We have an exam tomorrow, remember? You at least need to pretend to sleep."

You paused. Since when did he care about exams? You glanced at him, fighting the urge to question him. You let out a soft sigh and shrugged, allowing him to lead you to your dorm.

The walk was quiet, and you almost questioned how he knew where your dorm was, but you didn't. He seemed to pay attention better than most (it was part of that aloofness, you've noticed), and it wasn't the first time he had seen you near your dorm.

It was at least the third. The number had to be easy to memorize by now. 133.

As you opened your door, Fiyero spoke. "You know, I've been thinking..."

"Dangerous thing for you, isn't it?" you quipped, not looking at him as you stepped inside.

He let out a soft chuckle. You amused him to no end.

"Yes, perhaps," he softly said. "But besides. I was still thinking. I've been... well, wondering if perhaps you would—"

"—no."

He blinked slowly. "What? No? Y/n, you didn't even hear what I had to say—"

"—the answer is still no," you said. You glanced up at him from the spot you had been staring at, frowning. "I don't know what this is, but we are not friends. Do not ask me for favors."

"Not friends, hm?" he softly hummed, leaning against the doorway as he locked eyes with you. So knowing your dorm number was just a fluke.

"Not friends. Now if you'll excuse me, I should probably go and pretend to sleep."

His upper lip quirked in a faint smirk. Not friends, but you still joked with him as a friend would do. He rolled his eyes and gave you a rather joking half-bow.

"Of course," he said. "Do not let me keep you up. Perhaps I should find my dorm as well."

"You should do that," you simply said, shutting the door right after.

You didn't give him a chance to say anything else, quickly locking the door and heading back to your bed.

Heart pounding, mind still racing, but not with the thoughts of earlier. No, dear reader, your mind raced with thoughts of him.

So impressionable, so—so kind, so—well, was he really kind?

To you.

He was kind to you.

Nearly a week passed you by. The exam went rather well, without any kind of distraction. Passing marks and a somewhat decent night sleep.

You do everything you can to try and avoid Fiyero. Running this way and that, going through all of the longer corridors instead of the shortcuts you knew by heart. You did everything you could to avoid his handsome face.

You did everything you could to avoid the vulnerability that plagued your heart every time you thought of him.

If you simply embraced the wants of Fiyero, perhaps not having a brain would keep you from thinking this way. You'd still have a heart, sure, but it was much better than keeping yourself on your toes wondering if you'd see the damned man at any passing second.

On the hour of the rising moon, almost exactly on the dot, Fiyero spotted you. And this time, you were not evading him.

He practically took off after you, leaving his friends behind. They scoffed and called after him, but he didn't look back. His focus was on you.

He grabbed onto your wrist as you went to leave, not letting you go.

"Y/n! There you are," he softly said. "I have been looking everywhere for you. I wouldn't have thought it would be so difficult to find you, but—"

"—there you go, thinking again," you blurted, unable to stop yourself. Your tongue was wagging faster than your brain was working.

He weakly smiled. "Yes. I know. How ironic, hm?"

You watched as he stared you down.

"Look," he softly began. "I truly—I do not know what I did to deserve you ignoring me at any which way, but I wish you would tell me why. What did I do, Y/n? I thought—well, I assumed that we were friends, but perhaps I was wrong. I find myself wrong quite often nowadays."

"I—well, Fiyero, I—" you paused. You squeezed your eyes shut and inhaled a deep breath. "I don't have friends."

He blinked slowly. "You don't have friends? What of the one girl you were with the other day? Milla?"

"I do not have friends," you repeated. "I have... acquaintances. People I do not get attached to."

"That is sad."

"What?"

He raised an eyebrow. It seemed like a commonality when he spoke with you. The staple eyebrow raise had to happen or else he wasn't really chatting with you.

"It is sad. Why wouldn't you want to get attached to people?"

"I don't want to have meaningless relationships," you said. You avoided saying, I don't want to have relationships at all. "Not everyone can be as friendly as you, Fiyero."

He rolled his eyes. "Friendly. Yes. I talk to people, but I would rather not have all the attention that I do."

"Oh, that's rich," you said, scoffing. "You play the popular little prince and then claim you do not want it? What is that, Fiyero?"

Fiyero pursed his lips. "It is just—this is not a conversation about me. I wanted to have an intervention for you since you seemed as though you were avoiding me every which way. Now. Just—"

"—an intervention? What? Please. You sound ridiculous."

"So do you!" he returned, hands to his hips like an older man scolding a child for something they broke. "You vex me, Y/n! You act as if you are interested in me, then run away hiding like a scared little pup. You act as if you are afraid to get close to anyone."

You stared at him, lips parted ever-so-slightly. But it was enough. You were done for.

He let out a curt laugh. "You are."

"What?"

"You are. Scared. I can see it in you. You listen to what I have to say, even when the others don't. I've made an effort to pay attention to you. To see what you—"

"—Fiyero, stop."

"Do not tell me to stop, Y/n," he said, voice low with conviction. "Not now. Not when I've finally figured you out. You are scared. But of what? Being close to someone? Having a friend?"

You frowned. "I am not scared—"

"—you look at me like if I were to touch you, you'd melt."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"I can see it in your eyes, Y/n," he said, not looking away. He held eye contact with you and hoped that you would continue to do the same. "You—you're scared. To open your heart to the people around you."

You frowned, again. It was perpetual anymore. "And you're a sad man who dances and pretends everything is fine because Galinda said you looked pretty one day."

He blinked slowly, a smile quirking on his lips. "Maybe. But this—this isn't about me, Y/n. This is about you."

"What even is this? I didn't agree to have you psychoanalyze everything I've ever done."

"Neither did I, yet here we are," he said. "I've had a lot of time to think, to mull it over, and I know it. I know it now. You are scared. I don't know what happened to you. I don't know who hurt you in your past, or if something tragic happened to make you so cold inside, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being... with being vulnerable, Y/n. There's something... magical, even, about opening up to others."

"Oh, and you would know, wouldn't you?"

He frowned. "Y/n—"

"—no. Absolutely not. You do not get to sit there and ridicule me for not wanting to be close to people and then not take what I give you," you said. "You do not let anyone close to you. Sure, Galinda, but what does she know about you? Does she know how you half-ass everything? How you hardly even talk to your 'friends' and just let them float along with you like everything is fine and dandy? You're as sad as I am, if that's what you're trying to say. Don't try to fool yourself."

"I am not trying to fool myself," he softly said. "I am only trying to make it known that I see you. I see myself in you."

"Oh, that's rich," you said, scoffing. "The rich, popular boy sees himself in little ol' me. That's perfect."

"Y/n—"

"—no. Don't. Stop. Just. I don't want to talk to you anymore. We're not friends. We never were friends. Just leave me alone."

It's simple, but it shuts him down. And with that, you run from his side, rushing to hide away in your dorm.

You couldn't believe what you did. Blowing up at him instead of listening to what he had to say. He read you like the children's book your heart truly was—while everyone else focused on the words, he focused on the pictures. The minute details that seemed to pass by everyone's mind because the story was flowing far too quickly.

He saw the delicate brush strokes, the intricate colors, the pieces of you that the words did not show.

He knew you.

And it scared you.

Only you knew yourself. If anyone else were to know who you were, deep inside, well, that would be disastrous.

It couldn't happen.

You couldn't let it.

Fear.

Perhaps fear was the best way to describe the way you felt.

You sat by the edge of the lake in the forest just beyond Shiz's campus, fingers gently brushing against the water. The surface rippled, sending small waves to the end of the shore.

You were afraid.

Of what?

Of a man knowing you?

Of Fiyero knowing you better than even your family once knew you?

You sat there, thoughts racing through your mind. It was as if you couldn't avoid them anymore.

Days had passed since you blew up at Fiyero and ran. You couldn't avoid him forever, you knew that, but it seemed as if your thoughts believed the same.

Tears pricked at your eyes. The warm, salty tears began to fall before you could even try to stop them, and a soft sob bubbled at the back of your throat.

"Y/n?"

Shit.

You quickly wiped your tears away and looked back at him—at Fiyero. But your tears wouldn't stop. A soft sob rippled through you and you turned your head away.

Fiyero came to your side, kneeling down in the soft earth beside of you. He inwardly grimaced at the dirt, but he said nothing of it. He'd bathe in mud if it meant you would stop your tears.

He reached forward, gently placing a hand to your cheek. He turned your head to face him.

"Y/n," he softly said. "It's alright. You... you're alright."

Another sob.

He pulled you into his arms, and you let him. You didn't pull away, melting into his embrace as he said you would before. He pressed his chin to the top of your head, situating himself so he would be more comfortable near you.

He softly hummed a soft tune—you remembered it. The one thing he hummed quite often when you caught him alone, or trying to focus on his school work.

Dancing through life, skimming the surface... Life's more painless for the brainless.

He was just a sad boy with needs of his own, much like you were scared of being seen. Of being known.

Of being loved.

Oh. Oh, that's what it was.

It terrified you to no end.

Fiyero pressed a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, gently cupping your cheeks in his hands.

"What's got you so upset, love?" he softly asked, wiping your tears away gently with his thumbs.

You shook your head. "I... later," you mumbled. You leaned into his grasp, and you could have sworn you saw his eyes soften.

He released a soft, shaky sigh of his own, before he pulled you back into his arms. He'd hold you until the end of the world if that's what you needed him to do.

Being vulnerable—it was the one thing you had told yourself you would never do. Ever again. And here you were, letting this man hold you and practically lull you into a calmness you'd never felt before.

Is this what it felt like? To be... weak? To be... frail?

No.

Vulnerability... it didn't mean that.

It meant that you were... open. That you had managed to open your heart to a more... malleable form.

To be changed.

To find the one thing in life that you knew would keep you going for as long as it could.

To be vulnerable meant to be loved.

[demon-country]

#wiggles hands #i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!??? #and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was. and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE?? #puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn.

Wow. This... sure is a lot of extremely bad faith misinterpretations of those scenes. I'm going to address all of this step by step, I guess, because my dude, you are wildly off the mark on basically everything you accused Stolas of. So I hope you're ready, because this reply is going to be very long.

"#i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!???"

Yeah no, Stolas had every right to walk away, and was 100% justified in doing so. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair to Blitz, because on his end of things it looked totally different, but you already seem to understand what it looked like from Blitz's pov, so since we're talking about whether they equally fucked up or not, then I want you to step back from that and think about how it looked to Stolas, too.

Blitz did not respond to Stolas' confession with "hold the fuck on" or "what the fuck?" or "what do you mean?", nor did he do literally anything at all to suggest that he was confused or needed a moment to process what Stolas was saying. Blitz's immediate, snap reaction was to go "ohhh, okay you're fucking with me! This is an interesting roleplay, never done this one before but I can get into it. 'Ohhh, Stolas, I'll stay with you~! I love you sooo much~!'"

Perhaps you've never experienced this, but let me assure you that it is soul-crushingly awful to confess something important to you to someone you trust, only for them to completely write it off as a joke and/or make fun of you for it. It's extremely humiliating and feels like a deep betrayal, because you trusted them and were vulnerable with them, and in return all you got was mockery.

I've asked a number of real life actual people who have all, without fail, said that if that happened to them they'd end the conversation right there and walk away. Most of them, including me, said they'd leave just so they could go cry in private, and one said that they'd basically say "fuck you" and leave because they were pissed off. Stolas was the former. Take a moment to really, genuinely think about what your own reaction would be to having someone you love and trust make fun of you after you confess something important and vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a love confession, mine certainly wasn't, but do you honestly think you'd want to stick around after that?

So Stolas would have been justified in walking away just from that. He was very kind as he took his leave too and tried to bow out as gracefully as he could without causing a fuss, which is made all the more impressive because Blitz unintentionally triggered Stolas' trauma with the roleplay bit. Stolas has lived with Stella for 18 years at this point in the timeline, and part of how she abused him was humiliating him and mocking his feelings. He hides it decently well with Stella, because he's had decades of practice at this point, but we see in Ozzie's that being humiliated, especially in public, is a trauma landmine that Blitz tripped right onto. Yeah, he's going to leave, and it's not a fault that he does.

Moreover, you'll notice that Stolas doesn't kick Blitz out here or tell him to leave. He walks away further into the house, and yes he's probably expecting that Blitz will take it as an opportunity to bounce, but he does not tell him to go. Blitz could have waited as he took the moment he needed and thought things over, and then talked and asked whatever questions he needed to after Stolas came back. It was his bedroom and it was midnight, it's not like Stolas wasn't going to come back within the next couple of hours. Or Blitz could have left, thought things over, and come back. Instead, he followed after Stolas, which wasn't a great feeling for either of them, because Stolas was only barely staving off a breakdown and Blitz was getting hit in that abandonment trauma all over again, but Stolas walking off scared him so he acted on the impulse to not let Stolas get away. 

And he started off fine! Even though he was basically chasing Stolas, he wasn't angry or anything. He asked "wait, you were serious?! Hold on now, Stolas. What the fuck?" and Stolas did his best to answer even as he kept walking, rather than telling him to go away or kicking him out. His answer was poorly worded though and it set Blitz off, which is when we get to your next point.

#and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was.

???? How on earth did you reach this conclusion?? Of course Stolas would never teleport Stella outside like that. That's not respect, that's fear. It took everything he had to stand up to Stella the way he did, which we know because he collapsed as soon as she was gone. He was terrified of her; he was backing away while she approached and knew she was about to hit him. He was fighting back, yes, but you can tell from her reaction that he almost never has in the past. It had nothing to do with respecting her, because his normal response seems to be either standing there silently taking the abuse or shrinking in on himself while trying to placate her.

As for what happened in the ballroom, Stolas was triggered for the second time in just a handful of minutes, this time by Blitz slamming open the door and yelling. It says absolutely nothing about how much Stolas does or does not respect him that these actions triggered a trauma response in Stolas. Trauma doesn't work like that. Anyone doing that to Stolas would have made him panic, because when you're experiencing a traumatic reaction, even if you're somewhere safe with someone you implicitly trust, your brain freaks the fuck out.

It was in no way disrespectful to kick Blitz out, it was just Stolas going into extreme Flight mode. Blitz wasn't letting him leave and at the end even ran towards him (to apologize, but Stolas had no way of knowing that and Blitz was already half out the portal before he started to say sorry and didn't even finish it. Also, you hear Stolas very faintly saying he's sorry before the portal closes), of course he's going to force Blitz out! He didn't want a fight with Blitz like he had with Stella, because he wasn't angry, he just wanted to be alone.

"and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE??"

No, he really, really does not have to sit there and hear Blitz out. Stolas made it very clear in actual words that he did not want to see Blitz right then, because he was feeling too raw so soon after everything and Blitz was not giving him any space to breathe. And Blitz, once again, did not leave. He also, you'll notice, didn't force Blitz to leave, he just asked him to go, because this time he wasn't outright panicking. And even then, he kept giving Blitz chances to talk things out with him, showing that he wasn't dismissing Blitz.

Also, you're really telling me that you think a victim of domestic violence should be forced to stick around when someone is yelling at them? It doesn't matter if he "initiated things", that doesn't mean he's going to okay when someone starts grabbing and yelling at him. If Blitz was being calmer about it, and wasn't continually intentionally mocking Stolas and his feelings throughout that conversation (which, again, big trigger for Stolas, he's just hiding it better now because he was braced for it. Note that he's reacting a lot like he did when Stella was mocking him at the party) then I might agree with you. If Stolas had actually instigated the garden scene by telling Blitz to come over and then refused to listen while Blitz tried to explain, that'd be super fucked up. But Stolas didn't ask Blitz to come over, explicitly told him to leave because it hurt to much to talk to him right then, and Blitz was not being calm. Blitz was self-destructing and was being both clingy and aggressive, because he was scared of losing Stolas but was even more terrified of being vulnerable, and he habitually masks his fear with anger.

"#puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ."

Buddy. Dude. Stolas didn't actually spring this on Blitz. Blitz literally says at the beginning of the episode that he's been avoiding Stolas because he knows Stolas wants to talk, and he doesn't want things to become complicated. He knows things will change as soon as he actually talks to Stolas and that freaks him out, because in his mind it can't possibly be something good, and this fear is exacerbated by what Loona told him. He literally tells Fizz that Stolas does things to show he likes him, and multiple people have flat out told Blitz that he does, and Blitz can't believe that for multiple reasons, but this entire thing has been building up for months and he knows it. 

Stolas also did not spring his "feelings bullshit" on Blitz either, despite what Blitz claimed. It might have felt like it, because up until then he was in complete denial of those feelings being genuine, but Stolas has not been subtle, by any means. He has, in his and everyone else's minds, been showing Blitz that he cares about him at the very least as a friend, since this whole thing started. Even in fucking Loo Loo Land, despite him awkwardly trying to flirt with Blitz a couple of times, he doesn't actually try to start anything while they're there. He doesn't even seem to expect something sexual to happen between them at all, because he says he wants Blitz and his employees to come and immediately offers to pay Blitz with money, rather than sexual favors like Blitz anticipated. He's using it as an excuse to hang out with Blitz - because he's an idiot who didn't think about how uncomfortable it'd be for literally everyone involved, especially Octavia - and Blitz even knows that because he knows Stolas doesn't actually need one bodyguard, let alone three.

He invited all of them to the harvest moon festival because he thought it'd be fun, again with no expectation of anything sexy happening. He came to rescue I.M.P. with no ulterior motive, he just wanted to help them. He didn't ask for or suggest that he wanted sex in return for the save either, he just asked for a thank you in a very pouty voice because none of them thanked him, and Blitz turned things sexual, which he was happy to follow the lead on. He was super excited for the date, dressed up super fancy, proudly walked into Ozzie's holding Blitz's hand, tried over and over to talk to Blitz because he thought it was a real date, stood up to defend Blitz from Verosika (which Blitz didn't see and which he didn't get to follow through on, because Ozzie took that chance to go on the attack and publicly humiliate him), and even after that disaster he still invited Blitz in solely to hang out and maybe cuddle a bit.

He would ask Blitz to stay the night after they were done having sex instead of just kicking him out, which we see in the memory fragments. He called Blitz on the regular just to talk about his day and was frequently interacting with him on social media, both for approximately a year and a half. He was oblivious to how condescending his attempts at flirting were and had no idea how demeaning it was for Blitz until Blitz finally showed him how much all that hurt him (after Ozzie's), but he only was acting like that and talking that way because he genuinely believed that it was what Blitz wanted and was into, based on their first night together (doesn't excuse it, of course, but it was another way he was desperately trying to show how much he wanted Blitz).

For close to two years by the time The Full Moon rolled around, Stolas has been trying very hard and kind of ineptly to show Blitz he likes him, and at the very least wants to be real friends with him (that also have sex). Literally everyone who has seen them together knows how much Stolas likes Blitz, including Blitz despite him being in denial of it. He has tried again and again and again for nearly two years to show Blitz he cares about him and wants him around, and Blitz - for understandable reasons given his own trauma, history, biases, and hangups - has rejected him time and again. That's why Stolas was expecting Blitz to reject him following his confession. He expected Blitz to tell him to fuck off or to just take the crystal and run without looking back, but he didn't expect to be (unintentionally) mocked. He didn't expect Blitz, who he trusted, to humiliate him. Even without the trauma he has surrounding that, after all the other rejections of course Stolas is going to take Blitz mocking him as another rejection. He didn't think Blitz was confused, because he thinks he's made his feelings pretty damn clear for ages now, and that's why he said he had his answer and was trying to leave before he started crying - which most people hate to do, because crying in front of other people is often a mortifying experience.

"STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn"

He wasn't dismissing Blitz. He super fucking did not. He wanted to be alone so he could go cry his guts out, and Blitz was scaring him by getting angry and slamming open doors. That's not dismissing someone, that's going into panic mode. He wasn't treating him like a servant, if he was he would have been bored and unaffected and told him to go. He. Was. Scared. He was hurt and humiliated and scared and Blitz was chasing him down and yelling at him. It's not playing the victim to be scared and it's not playing the victim when your feelings get mocked and you want to get away from the person who just stomped all over your heart.

Blitz's reactions make sense from his end, and absolutely he was being triggered too - he was in fact the one triggered first, though that too was by accident. Yes, his anger was justified and he had every right to express it when he felt he wasn't being listened to. Yes, he wasn't intending to scare Stolas. Yes, Stolas has messed up and hurt Blitz in numerous ways over the course of the series. But my god, that does not mean that Stolas' feelings and reactions are any less justified and reasonable.

It was equal on both sides. They both equally fucked up. They both accidentally hurt and triggered each other. They both were scared. Stolas sending Blitz away was the only thing he could think of to de-escalate the situation, because Blitz was actively trying to pick a fight and Stolas had no idea that Blitz would stop just because he started crying (you think anyone else has ever stopped just because he cried? We literally see both Stella and Paimon mock him for it, and Stolas isn't exactly in a rational sort of mindset here).

Are you really, honestly, truly telling me that you would be fine just standing there and letting someone who just hurt you scream at you in a way that reminded you of both your domestic abuser and the person who recently tried to murder and mutilate you? Are you kidding me? You have completely misinterpreted everything Stolas has said and done in those two episodes by refusing to look at it with any amount of sympathy or compassion and immediately jumping to the worst possible scenario.

"Stolas shouldn't have portalled out Blitz during Full Moon" this and "Stolas should have stuck around and listened to Blitz in the garden during Apology Tour" that. Do y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that a domestic abuse victim stick around when someone is yelling at and insulting them? And on the flip side of that, do the other half of y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that someone, particularly someone from an oppressed group, never get loud or demonstrably angry just because it might scare someone?

Like Blitz had every right to air his grievances in Full Moon, and being angry when you're treated poorly is a perfectly normal, reasonable response. It's not inherently abusive to yell and stomp when you get mad, and it's completely unreasonable to say that Blitz is just because he did. But at the same time, Stolas does not have to sit there and take being yelled at when he's already had to suffer though someone doing it to him maliciously for at least 17 years. He does not have to take being grabbed, being screamed at, or having his clearly stated boundaries ignored either, like at the beginning of Apology Tour. Him getting upset when someone does that to him, when he's only just gotten away from his abuser and was almost murdered for it, is not some failing on his part or him playing the victim.

Blitz's trauma doesn't care that Stolas wasn't actually going to abandon Blitz, and it doesn't care that that the hurtful things Stolas has said and done have come largely from a place of ignorance rather than a lack of care. He's protecting himself the only way he knows how and is blinded by the sheer intensity and longevity of his self-loathing, but frankly it was a good thing for him to finally speak up about how some of the things Stolas does makes him feel, and it's a very good thing that he's actually trying to fight to keep Stolas rather than just booking it and throwing a grenade behind him on the way out.

Just like Stolas' trauma doesn't care if he knows Blitz is different than Stella and wouldn't actually hurt him, and it doesn't care that Blitz's anger comes from a hurt, scared, and traumatized place as opposed to the pleasure Stella took in hurting and scaring him. Stolas hasn't had any time to even begin to heal from the damage she did to him, and frankly if he's scared and breaking down like in Full Moon it's actually a step up if he's removing himself from whoever is triggering him, even if it wasn't fair to Blitz who was, in his own way, attempting to work things out.

Neither of them is the bad guy here, they're just very reasonably upset and having clashing trauma responses. You can be compassionate and understanding of both sides without saying that either of them should have to just sit there and take it when someone is greatly upsetting them. It's normal to get angry when you're scared and upset, and it's normal to cry and run away when you're scared and upset, and neither are wrong or bad just because in the moment when emotions were running high they each did several things that accidently set the other off, especially when they had no way of knowing it was a trigger beforehand.

None of this is say that the way things shook out was great or productive, and they definitely need to work on healing so that they're not letting their fear and trauma control them. If they're going to get to place of real understanding, then at some point these two need to sit down with the intent to talk things out and have an honest and open conversation with each other, without Blitz yelling or Stolas running or either of them letting their preconceived assumptions and biases get in the way of actually listening. Blitz needs to not self-sabotage and Stolas needs to not shut down, and that's going to be really fucking hard for both of them, because that's how they've been coping with their trauma for literal decades.

And to his major credit, Blitz got it right at the end of Apology Tour, the only thing he got wrong was the timing because Stolas was so drunk that I'll be honestly surprised if he remembers most of it in the morning. He wasn't in any state of mind to listen or pay attention, but at the same time, to his credit he's already been reflecting on what Blitz has been saying to him and trying to figure out where and how he fucked up and hurt Blitz. And also, he kept saying things like "right now", which means he will be ready to talk things out eventually if he's just given a little bit of space to put himself back together and think about things.

And guys, please. Just because some people will start crying to try to manipulate and guilt trip those around them whenever someone gets upset at something they did, doesn't make that what Stolas did. He was trying to get away so Blitz wouldn't see him cry. And just because some people like to fly off the handle and rage at every perceived infraction, doesn't make that what Blitz did. He had justifiable cause to be angry and in Full Moon he didn't think Stolas was listening, so he tried to make himself louder and bigger in an attempt to make himself be heard and his hurt be acknowledged. If one of their reactions made you uncomfortable, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But the story isn't about those kinds of people, it's about two fictional demons who aren't trying to hurt or manipulate each other, they're just struggling to juggle trauma, ignorance, and the desire to be together. They're not able to yet, but that's what character arcs are for.

And just to head off any comments on it: no, the narrative is not villifying Blitz and it's not babying Stolas or trying to sweep any of the shit he's done under the rug. Blitz being angry and self-destructive doesn't make him a villain, and Stolas crying a few times and still being pretty ignorant of how he's come across doesn't mean they're trying to say he's done nothing wrong.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Burn Out

I would. Absolutely do the cast but. Consider. The casts parents instead.

Also as you can probably guess, I'm feeling burnt out so my writing may not be as good as it usually is but fuck it we ball. Yes I will be using headcanon names for the Cast Parents because. um. I can.

Family Headcanons here if you want to read.

Also there's no Diasomnia except for Sebek. Sorry. Don't attack me please I beg OTL NO SPOILERS PLEASE OTL ----------------------------------------

Dr. Carlotta Rosehearts is not the type of woman to be easily impressed. Burn out is something only the weak experience, though if you weren't raised by her, she can hardly blame YOU for your poor constitution. While she's not all that sympathetic, she can find a small, easy task for you to complete to feel like you've been productive, useful, and otherwise intelligent.

Dr. Lawson Hatter, Riddle's estranged (engineer) father couldn't be any MORE experienced with burn out. He's awkward, he's odd, but his antics are sure to put a smile on your face. He can spot someone trying to work through burn out easily - not in his house baby, he's spinning that chair around and away from the desk, you're coming to get snuggled up and watch a movie with him and his kid(s). He'll make you tea (or coffee if you want it), a bunch of snacks, and promises to help you with your work later. Right now is time to let that all go and let your brain be mush for a bit. It's okay.

Amelia and Tarrant Clover - they're a little burnt out constantly themselves, but there's always room at the table for one more. Their home is only a good option if you like little kids though, because they WILL treat you like you're their big sibling almost immediately. They don't mean to come off as a little uncanny, but they genuinely do love having guests so much. Be prepared for So. Much. Food. If you can't really handle the hubbub of the family, that's okay too. Amelia will invite you to join her for her evening prep. She has a way of making you let all those feelings come out when it's just the two of you, and by the time you're done crying, she's got fresh banana bread and hot chocolate in front of you, with a pat on the back. She'll hug you if you want it too.

The Diamond couple have way too much tension between them to be of much help to you. Cater's older, but not eldest, sister, Catrina, is rather reserved and quiet when she's allowed to be. She'd be the one to take you into her room, do your hair, maybe some aromatherapy and tai chi. She's learned a lot of ways to relax over the years, she's just happy to share it with someone who is too exhausted to be fake with her. willing to let her help.

Dylla Spade hi, hello, did you want to make a top three guardians list? Dylla is there, promise. There is no overworking in her house. She can appreciate the dedication, but 1. you are actively harming yourself, 2. you should never work that hard in a workplace, why are you doing it for free /hj. She'll try to interrupt once or twice with the bribe of a small snack, or with going out somewhere, but if you're stubborn she's got to pull out the big guns. Big guns being she puts a photo of baby Deuce on the desk next to you and tells you if you want to know the story you're going to stop, go take a shower to give your brain a transition period out of work and go meet her in the kitchen. She's not the best cook but by god you know everything she gave you she gave with love.

Jack Trappola-Hearts is not Ace's dad, (ew, says Ace in the back of my mind), but his big brother. He's got a humble, somewhat dated one-bedroom apartment. He'll sleep on the couch though, so you can have the bed. (If Ace is there, Jack will sleep on the floor). He likes keeping you entertained and smiling, so he'll take you around town to (free) but fun areas. He doesn't expect you to verbally respond if you don't want to, and if you need to, he'll happily create a way for you to communicate when you're ready to go home. He'll keep you distracted from your responsibilities and burdens until he knows you can tackle them full force again.

Falena Kingscholar has a BIG and BRIGHT personality. He means the best, but he can sometimes be a little insensitive to your efforts, (as he was to his brother). He's also very busy and repressing his own burn out and Other Emotions, but don't fret. Kifaji will look after you. He's careful to not hover, but he always pops in with exactly what you need. He can't be as attentive as he would like, but he does know where the younger prince used to sneak off for naps. He may or may not drop a hint or two as to where those places are, and he may or may not have made sure to set the area up with soft lighting, music, blankets and curtains to give you some elevated sense of privacy without being overwhelmed by your surroundings (hopefully).

Vovó Bucchi (yes I borrowed a headcanon name provided by @kamiraaah (sorry for the tag, if you want it removed lmk!! ^^) can't help but make fun of you a tiny bit, but it's all just to remind you that hard work is meant to be rewarded. Hard work is meant to be balanced out with something else. While you're clearly bright, you're apparently not bright enough to realize when you need a break on your own /lh. She'll ask you to tell her about the things you HAVE accomplished over the past month while cooking food for the family, (and yes, having you be her taste tester all through out it), and wait til you're done to ask what you've done to motivate yourself to keep going. If you've got nothing, she's going to tell you to come home with Ruggie at the end of every other week. Yes, home. You're hers now. Good luck escaping custody.

Citlali and Ande Howl couldn't be more opposite in how they try to help you through burn out. Citlali is just a 4'2 ball of energy and affection, you best believe she's got hugs for days, homemade quilts to pile on you, a hot chocolate she meant to give you about 40 minutes ago but forgot while she was rambling, (she'll heat it back up), a child to hand you - wait, no that's going to her husband, that's not your responsibility. She'll talk your EARS off, but you come to love it. Ande is much more stoic, a little intimidating to some, and very awkward. Mans does not know how to come off as friendly. He offers a hug if you need it. Best hug of your life. He will also show you where you can go to brood get a breath of fresh air and relax.

Clara and Ginerva "Nonna" Ashengrotto (you MAY NOT call Nonna anything but Nonna. Only Nonna's friends can call her Ginny, and 'Ms. Ashengrotto' is her daughter.) Clara and her mom are both all too familiar with the dangers of burn out. You get burnt out, you make bad decisions, bad decisions lead to trouble down the road and honey you do not need to make your life any more complicated than it already is. Sit down, stuff your face, listen to jazz, be happy. Basic rules. Your plate will not be allowed to be empty, be prepared to probably eat so much you pass out, which will be the one and only bad decision you make that day, but it's better than Nonna asking why you ain't eatin' her cooking. If you do get too full, don't worry, they'll tease but they'll pack up what's left and the other 27 meals they prepared for you to take home. (Nonna is partially deaf so you will have to raise your voice a bit so she can hear you clearly).

guysguysguysguysguysguysguysguys it's my favourite next do you know who's my favourite I know who's my favourite I literally wrote this just so I could write for her do you know who's my favourite fuck YEAH YOU DO

Valeria Leech (and her husband I guess but I'm pretending Constantine Leech is not there because I want to focus on the queen that is Mama Fucking Leech)(He would be kind of detached anyways he doesn't know you and he doesn't owe you nothin', his wife just said he wasn't allowed to eat you). ANYWAYS. Mama Leech has a lot of energy, Floyd had to get it from somewhere and it is absolutely from his mama. While she can be a little all over the place, clearly her boys appreciate you if they went through the effort to bring you to her, and that means um. You're her kid now too. She will treat you like she treats her sons. This means an overwhelming amount of physical touch (she will tone down if asked or if her husband reminds her that not everyone is comfortable with that), a lot of food being offered to you, you get the (second) best bed in the house, she has already bought you new clothes- ordering on land clothes, but also things tourists to the Coral Sea would wear. Because how can you expect to overcome burn out when you're stuck in a rut and nothing has changed. You need a good sleep schedule, a good meal, and a way to feel fabulous about yourself. And probably a hug and a good cry session. And maybe a hobby to let out all that steam, do you want to learn to fight hand to hand or do you want to collect tiny glass figurines, she'll buy the same subscription as she has if you want she LOVES little glass figurines they're cute and delicate just like elvers are. She will cry when you have to go back to land, promise her you'll call her if you need her for anything. Whether it's a hug or hiding a body. She's got your back. Also in the top 3 mama's tbh but I'm very very very biased but I also still think I'm right.

Akram al Asim is a little lost on what to do, but Kalim cares about you, so so does he. He doesn't really know what to do on an emotional basis, so he gives you money and tells you that if staying in the palace is too much, you're welcome to go stay in one of their private mansions instead. And if you need more money to just ask. So staying at "home" and having someone cook and clean for you while you get to do nothing is a 10/10 way to help burn out. He does not know how to help people that are stubborn or reject his gift unfortunately, he just kinda stands there like a deer in the headlights, then just welcomes you to stay in his home as long as you like. (This is a bad idea, you're a friend of Kalim's and given the family dynamics we know about you may very well be used as leverage, um. yeah. That's not very cash money.)

Nasir and Amani Viper can offer their home and to share dinner with you, but they are kept busy all day. They can recognize burn out - they've seen it in their son, and experienced it themselves, but they've never gotten a break to work through it. They'll tell you to rest, to eat, to make yourself at home, but it's a little awkward to relax when everyone around you is working.

Eric Venue oh dear. oh dear, oh dear oh dear. Burn out is a killer of creativity darling, and we simply cannot have that. Again, not someone who can help all that much directly, he'll toss a little money at you and get you into a luxurious spa to get you to relax again, to rejuvenate your skin and your mind. Also concerned for your mental health and MAY have paid off a therapist to become your friend so you'll never know you're receiving therapy throughout the entire thing, you'll cry, you'll let that out, and you'll never see that friend again. But you don't know that yet and for now you feel better!

The Hunts fall into the bottom category of parents. Ibis Hunt, Rook's next eldest sister (bc I think the Hunt's named their kids after birds), will try her best. She practically raised Rook, so she knows what a good night out by the campfire can do, campfire dinner, marshmallows, a couple goofy songs on the guitar, and a horror story if you think you can handle it. She'll keep your mind off of things.

Meemaw (Marja) Felmier can and will bop you over the head with her cane if she sees you trying to work when you clearly can't anymore. "You're so worn slap out y'ain't got 'nother ounc'a thinkin' in there. Y'got a hankerin' for somethin'? I'll fix it up right quick. Come on now, carryin' on on an empty stomach ain't gonna fix y'problems." She purposely has you sit on the comfiest chair on the house, layers you up in blankets, gives you a stuffy and warm apple cider because she KNOWS you're gonna pass right out. And when you wake up, there will be Marja's famous apple crumble with homemade vanilla ice cream waiting for you, trust.

Dr. Isla and Rodian Shroud are HUGE advocates for self care, but know sometimes it takes another person to pull you away from what's frustrating you. Isla will GLADLY take you on in a gaming competition - and she might even take it easy on you. And you'll hear her full Aussie accent come out any time you over take her in the equivalent of Mario Kart. Rodian is much more likely to be subtle in the way he helps, asking you to come assist on a project. Idle prattle turns into a deeper conversation that lets you open up to him, and the simple tasks he gives you to make you feel like you're being useful help a lot too. If you do end up crying, he'll offer a hug, and then a place to sleep off the rest of the emotions. You'll wake up to a 3D printed figurine of your favourite animal, cookies, and a thermos that kept the milk cold. The last of the Mom top 3 imo. (Mom's do not include grandma's btw thus the exclusion of Vovo and Marja /lh)

Baul Zigvolt okay listen. Modern day? I can't help imagine him with a big beer belly and a laugh to match. He's lost all the intensity he had in chapter 7 (thus far, no spoilers please lol). If you're feeling burnt out, he's giving you food the way he would have given it to baby Sebek - he's still adjusting to humans, so forgive him for cutting everything up so small, but hey, hopefully you won't choke? And some water. He's got a lovely voice, so with your permission, he'll read to you or tell you stories from when he and Lilia were younger - or if you really want it, he'll sing you to sleep...that's his goal anyways. He will not let you sleep in though LMAO, you went to bed early, get ready to be up at the crack of dawn lol.

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Anyways, thanks for reading my Partially Coherent Ramblings. Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist

@my-cursed-brain @fluffle-writes @distant-velleity @starry-night-rose @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @lumdays @nemisisnemi

[torturedlexdepartment]

The Last Time (JJ's Version)

JJ Maybank x fem reader

Author's note: I apologize in advance 💀

Warnings: ANGST, fighting, toxic JJ, break up

Summary: after a turbulent relationship with JJ, you finally hit your breaking point

Six months is nothing. Six months flies by. You’re on the back end in the blink of an eye. But when you’re young, it’s everything. When he’s your first, he’s everything.

You were so sickenly in love with him that you couldn’t see anything else. Red flags morphed into pink while you wore rose colored glasses. Up until this point you were living in a bubble of that honeymoon phase. But things couldn’t stay perfect no matter how much you saw the stars in his ocean blue eyes.

The first time

JJ found himself at your front door after a fight that took place at a party earlier in the evening. Your disagreements usually ended in bickering or slightly raised voices. But nothing had ever gone this far. Nothing had ever hurt you this bad. He chased after you almost immediately, instantly regretting his behavior. When he knocked on your door, you couldn’t help but run to greet him with tears in your eyes.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Please come here.” He grabbed you gently, pulling you into his arms and holding you tightly. You melted into him and when he grabbed you by the face to wipe away your tears, you suddenly forgot why you were so upset in the first place. All that mattered was that he was here now, taking the blame and showcasing the sweetest side of himself.

The next time

A couple of months have gone by and things have slowly begun to grow more complicated. The patience you once had for one another was starting to dissipate.

“You’re being fucking ridiculous.” JJ paced around the kitchen in the chateau while you stood by the sink, your stomach in knots at the start of another argument.

“How? You keep treating me like shit when everyone else is around and ignoring me.” You fought to hold back tears as you grew more frustrated.

“No Y/N, you’ve just been super clingy lately and refuse to give me room to breathe!” He spit out and the floodgates opened.

“So I’m clingy for wanting to spend time with you now? You’re fucking unbelievable!” You screamed, not caring who would hear.

“I’m not dealing with your childish shit right now Y/N. Grow up.” He stormed out of the shack, leaving you to weep alone. You sunk down to the floor, burying your head in your hands wondering if there was any truth to his words. When you finally calmed yourself down, you went into JJ’s room, packed all your things, and headed home.

A few hours had passed and now he was blowing your phone up. The calls and texts went unanswered as you continued to spiral. Were you really being stupid and pathetic? Or was he just turning into someone you never thought he’d be?

You just needed more time before you could deal with him. But JJ was stubborn and never knew when to just let things be. He always had to get his way. Yet you were the “childish” one. He showed up to your house at 10pm pounding on your front door. You stood close by, praying he would just leave but he continued.

“Y/N!” He yelled from the other side of the door.

“What do you want JJ?” You heard him sigh, relieved you had finally answered him.

“I want you to open the door baby, please. Let me talk to you.” He pleaded.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now J.” Up until this point, that was true but the begging in his voice was breaking you down.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door and talk to me Y/N. I’ll stay out here all night, you know I will.” You sighed heavily because you did know that. He wasn’t gonna leave until you at least heard him out. When you opened the door and saw him standing there, you felt yourself instantly soften. It was like magic, the effect he had on you. And it was the worst thing in the world at times like these. Times that you needed to be strong. You could never stay mad at him.

“J-”

“I am so sorry, okay. When I came back and saw that you were gone and you took your stuff, I freaked. I know I’ve been an asshole lately and I promise you baby, I will do better.”

And that’s all it took. That’s all he had to say. All he had to do. And you forgave him…again.

Countless times in between

Your one year anniversary was ruined by JJ getting nearly black out drunk and being obnoxious. You were driving home when you started arguing and at some point, he demanded that you stop so he could get out and walk the rest of the way. And no matter how much you pleaded, he wouldn’t get back in. He walked all the way to the chateau and the next morning, he was mad at you for abandoning him.

A huge blowup of a fight erupted when you caught him flirting with another girl at a party. You have been on the rocks lately, struggling to have even one good moment. But this was taking things too far. You swore you were gonna end it after that. But then he showed up crying at your door.

He got mad at you for going to the beach with John B without him. It’s been over a year and a half and at this point, you didn’t even bother apologizing anymore. You both just continued on like it never happened, like it was a normal occurrence. All he did was make you sad or angry. You struggled to remember why you had put up with this and for so long. It had gotten to the point where you both claimed to want to end things, but they were always empty threats. You’d come right back, the same way he would. Every single time…

You couldn’t count on one hand how many more times have happened since then. Big, small, stupid, pointless. It was everyday by the time you passed your two year anniversary.

The last time

You were arguing about something stupid, you couldn’t even remember what started it. And it blew up into the worst fight you have ever had. You were so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of trying. Tired of not remembering what happy felt like.

“I swear to god JJ, I’m so done with this shit.”

“Then fucking leave!.” The words cut deep like a knife straight through your heart. Those words and the cold expression on his face, finally made something inside yourself snap.

“If I leave right now, I’m not coming back.” You searched his face for any signs of emotion besides anger, but you couldn’t find any.

“But you say that every single time, don’t you?” He mocked as you desperately tried to hold back your tears.

“I promise you…this is the last time.” You had never meant something you said to him more, other than the words “I love you”. He didn’t respond. He wouldn’t even lift his head to look at you. You knew he was never going to beg you to stay, no matter how much you wanted him to. You wouldn’t bother with your things left behind. All you had to do was walk past him, right out the door.

You both stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity. He hadn’t uttered a word and you didn’t expect him to move an inch as you headed for the door. But he surprised you when he blocked your path. You scanned his eyes as he looked down at you, searching for any glimpse of the man that you fell in love with. You knew in your heart that he was still in there but he was buried so deep that you couldn’t help him come back to the surface. You could tell that he struggled with what to say and you knew that if you didn’t leave now, you’d both be stuck in this cycle of heartbreak. Before you could give it another thought you pushed past him and ran out the door, refusing to look back.

A few days later you were in a new hell after ending things with JJ. It took everything in you not to go back. Not to pick up the phone. You’d love to just hear his voice. But you knew you deserved better. You both did, so you resisted. Dealt with the worst pain imaginable to prevent further trauma. You had to love yourself more than you had ever loved him.

It was just past midnight when you heard him banging on your door. He had finally broke down and realized that you weren’t gonna come crawling back. That you meant what you said. A few minutes passed without you answering and he started yelling through the door.

“Please Y/N, I know you’re there.” You sank down on your side of the door with tears in your eyes. You could hear it in his voice that he was crying too and you fought with every part of yourself to open that door. After a moment, he stopped knocking and you heard him slide down his side of the door. You both sat there in silence, as close as you could allow yourself to get.

You let yourself reminisce about the good times. How he swept you off your feet on your first date. How he kissed you in the rain after he told you he loved you for the first time. How he swore he couldn’t wait to give you his last name.

“I told you.” You whispered loud enough for it to travel through the wood.

“I know baby. I know. And I won’t hurt you anymore.” You heard him stand up as you fought to keep it together. “I love you.” He said softly and made his way down your porch. And your heart shattered…for the last time.

[unsensiblelover]

HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO PEELING AN ORANGE FOR YOU?

FORMULA 1 BOYS ✷

synopsis 🍊 : you're in need of a fruit, you're lacking in vitamin c, you couldn't feel bothered to peel an orange for yourself so you ask your boyfriend for help.

FEATURING 🍊: lando, max, lewis, oscar and carlos !

author's note 🍊 : enjoy!

LANDO

in this certain scenario lando would first be confused on why you're bringing him an orange as if he doesn't practically eat healthy almost everyday, then you tell him that you're low on vitamin c and you ask him to peel an orange for you. lando questions you "why?" because you both can be lazy at times. he currently is playing tarkov with his mates, and you're interrupting him, which he doesn't really mind, but acts like he's annoyed. you just beg him and insist, "why can't you peel it yourself, hmm?" you curse at yourself mentally because you chose someone sassy to fall in love with. "you're gonna peel it for me because you love me" you tell lando, and he sighs "fine", grabbing the fruit from your hand and starts on peeling it open for you, when he's finishes you tell him thank you and give him a peck on the cheek.

MAX

max is playing around with his cats, jimmy and sassy and the new boy of the house, donatello. you walk into the living to ask the dutch a question. immediately max can sense you asking him a question since you're standing in front of him with an orange in your hand looking slightly restless. "maxy, can you pleas—" before you could even finish your ask, max already begins peeling the orange for you, carefully, even peeling out the fuzzy central core of the orange for you. max passed you the peeled orange and its peels as well, "uh, thanks" you say slightly astonished, walking away giving peace to him and his cats.

LEWIS

lewis was in bed, reading a book. he had just taken a shower, whenever he had time he'd prefer to read a book before bed. as he was reading you approached him, you've just came from the kitchen, needing some vitamin c in your system you grab an orange. feeling bothered to peel it yourself, you walked to your shared bedroom where lewis was located, reading his book, the tv playing in the background. you walked up to lewis, with an orange in your hand, your skincare clay mask on your face making you look hilarious. lewis giggled as he saw you infront of him, "yes love, how can i help you?" lewis asked smiling at you, unable to take you seriously. "peel this for me please?" you ask, handing him the orange, lewis nodded before grabbing the orange peeling it for you, handing it back for you. "thanks," you tell him, "you're welcome, darling," lewis chuckled softly before heading back to reading his book.

OSCAR

you and oscar were sitting down on the couch, watching a movie relaxing at the moment. oscar knew of your lack of vitamin c and you guys had oranges in your apartment but you never touched them. oscar wasn't one to make you eat something, but when it regards your health he will. so as you were focused on the movie, oscar got up momentarily grabbing an orange from the dish of fruits, returning back to the couch, placing your legs back on his lap as he begins peeling the orange. when he's done, he nudges your ankle to get your attention, passing you the orange, "eat," he simply says. and since he asked so nicely you ate the orange, oscar's hand returning to rest on your legs as you did so.

CARLOS

you were asleep, dreaming. until a hand shook you and woke you from your dream. you muttered slightly, ignoring the hand the first time, before there was a slap on your ass, making you jump, waking up. "buenos días cariña," carlos says smiling at you innocently as if he didn't just frighten you. "breakfast in bed, sí?" carlos said, placing the tray on the desk, which had eggs, toast, sausages and grapes. not forgetting to mention the large glass of fresh orange he had squeezed. you smiled at the spaniard sitting up, carlos sitting beside you. "how thoughtful, thank you, 'los". you tell him, you both begin eating together, then he gently ushers you to drink some of the orange juice to gain some nutrients and vitamins.

[fishysaltine]

Honestly I’ve always seen Bloodbath (or the kill Zara quest) as Illario’s final desperate attempt to be swayed form his plan. It kind of reminds me of Solas and Varric’s note of him in the beginning of the game “he just needs someone to give him a different option”

Like Illario is genuinely upset about this whole thing. He thought Lucanis was dead, and we see that he was such a chronically depressed alcoholic yapper after Lucanis’ death that even though he did give the hit, he at least regretted it or it didn’t sit well with him. (I have no doubt Zara manipulated him to some extent into it, since she has her eyes on Lucanis after the Wigmaker job anyway, but neither Zara or Illario are actually explored in game). But when Illario is taking us to the boat, he makes note of saying Catarina didn’t tell him because “I would have tried to save him.” The way he says that line is in a COMPLETELY different tone than anything else he says. It’s stern and to the point, not condescending like after Illario takes out Zara and talks down on Lucanis, telling him he’s a danger and liability.

If Illario knew Lucanis was actually alive, he probably would have killed Zara earlier. And Zara obviously KNEW THIS because she didn’t tell Illario Lucanis was ALIVE for that very reason. Illario never knew about Spite. He never planned for the Ossuary. He never meant for that to happen! Zara knew that whatever Illario and she had going on would never even be close to the bond Lucanis and Illario have, and Illario would put that over power every single time.

Almost every single time.

Because he knows what he did, and he still goes out for coffee with Lucanis and the weirdo rando that saved him. And then he tries to convince Lucanis to stay away from Zara, because he knows that Zara is capable of and how not only she can, but has hurt Lucanis. (She turned his big brother into an abomination!)

WAIT A MINUTE WHO ELSE DOES THAT? Lucanis does! Except Lucanis is more direct about it. Says that Zara might come after him. Illario tries to convince Lucanis she’s in fuckass land, get him out of the situation ENTIRELY involving Antiva, the Anntam, First Talon. Yeah, there’s probably a selfish motivation, but in Wigmaker Illario is so fucking scared Lucanis is going to essentially fling himself off a cliff, there’s a genuine “heyy can you take a holiday? Can you stop being passively suicidal for me, your little cousin? Can we stop with the ‘death is my calling’ shit?”

Of course Illario can’t just go “uhh I’ll take care of it dw bro” because to Lucanis the beef with Illario and Zara isn’t merely as personal as he (and Spites) beef with her. They really just want to protect one another and get their dues.

Illario killing Zara wasn’t so much for him. I mean she kind of played him, but whatever, it didn’t necessarily affect Illario in anyway, it was for Lucanis. A way to try and appease the guilt of something that he never intended to happen to his older brother. That’s why Illario wants to be there during Bloodbath. “It’s Crow business” aka ‘WHY ARE YOU TAKING WEIRDO RANDO 1 & 2 OVER ME? I deserve to be at your side, I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth and back, why won’t you let me anymore?’

So Illario meets Lucanis and his rando friends on the rooftop. Lucanis asks him what he’s doing there- and Illario says he wants to go. He’s so desperate to go, to prove his alliance to his big brother cousin. But that’s not all. Lucanis has been gone for a year, and then left immediately. Killing and missions, being Crow’s is one of the main ways Lucanis and Illario bond.

Illario has never felt good enough. For his grandmother, for Lucanis, for anyone. That’s why he started this mess. Zara tells him Lucanis doesn’t think he’s good enough, he never will be, until he does the most Crow thing ever and cuts him out of the family line. Then finally, maybe, when his cousin’s eyes are glassy and corpse empty, will they be filled with approval.

But Lucanis is right here (with two randos)! And Illario asks him to involve him, just looking for that smidge of approval. And Lucanis says no. Ok. Cool! Maybe he just wants you safe. Fine, whatever. But you’re capable- at least you think you are.

So you ask the damning question. “You think I’m not good enough?”

And your cousin, your big brother, simply says: “Are you?”

While surely a good natured jab from Lucanis as siblings do, had Lucanis’ answer been anything even close to praise or more concern, I think Illario would’ve been fine to step out of the way. ALL he needed was Lucanis’ mild assurance/approval. Just a ‘oh no, you’re good enough. I just don’t want you getting hurt is all’

But he doesn’t say that. He simply feeds into the very insecurity that sent Illario to selling him out, the very one that Zara told him but he never quite believed until the words came from Lucanis’ mouth. ‘You’re not good enough to stand by my side anymore.’ And potentially ‘I’ve replaced you with rando 1 & 2, I don’t need you anymore’

So then he doubles down. No more playing nice cousin or big brother little brother. If Lucanis doesn’t want Illario by his side anymore- fuck it, Illario doesn’t need him. Lucanis saying Illario isn’t good enough isn’t just a blow to his ego, or self confidence/self esteem, it’s a flat out rejection. So he takes the kill from Lucanis, and essentially tells him to get the fuck out of dodge or else, and then tries to strong arm first Talon.

Lucanis never quite gives Illario “the different option.” Illario throws their bond away not because he necessarily wants to, but because he thinks Lucanis’ threw it away first, and that he’s just folding onto a frayed rope (not even mentioning how Illario crosses out Lucanis’ name in the family line, showing how he just… almost doesn’t exist. He’s gone to Illario. Illario’s so hurt by everything he just wants Lucanis gone at this point, come hell or high water.)

Lucanis quite literally says that the only way Catarina would be proud of Illario is if he kills her, and if that extends to Lucanis, so be it.

[rachelsfav-queer]

Maybe A Boy?

(Part 2)

Wednesday hears the dorm room door open and her anxiety spikes for a moment before she forces herself to settle down again. Her roommate enters with her usual excitement, entirely unaware of the inner turmoil that Wednesday is experiencing, with no idea why she’s feeling it.

Enid: Howdy, babycakes! Sorry I took so long, I swear that the Werewolf Bio teacher intentionally drags on her lessons just to annoy us, ugh! But, I’m here now and I’m all yours for cuddles!

Wednesday feels a warmth pass over her at Enid’s bright and optimistic nature, beyond grateful for the strange way she’s always capable of settling her mind even when she has no idea she’s doing it. It’s a talent to be this comforting, it has to be. But it doesn’t wipe away what she needs to do unfortunately.

Wednesday: I appreciate your offer, Enid, but… we need to talk first. Or, I mean- *sighs* I need to tell you something first.

Enid’s demeanor becomes serious at her girlfriend’s tone, immediately picking up on the burning tension in the smaller girl, and concern builds up inside her.

Enid: Oh, okay! What’s up, Willa? Is… everything okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?

Wednesday: *looks up at Enid, looking away* I- I know. It’s just… this particular matter is one that… I’m anxious will change things, between us specifically, in an irrevocable way.

Enid: *furrows brow* What do you mean, Wends? What’s going on, are you hurt? Is someone… is someone threatening you?

Wednesday: *shakes head* No, no! Nothing like that, it’s just… I fear that when I tell you this, you may look at me differently and… *quietly* it may shatter our relationship together.

Enid stands up and slowly, carefully walks over to Wednesday sitting at her desk and kneels in front of her, taking both her hands gently.

Enid: Willa, babycakes. Look at me. *waits* Good, now listen to me, okay? Very closely.

Enid: Whatever it is that has you so scared, I promise that it won’t be that bad, okay? Okay, cause we’re gonna talk about it and we’re gonna discuss how it affects us. No matter what it is, I’m never gonna just leave you without a chance to explain, okay? I promise.

Wednesday nods, tears brimming her eyes at her girlfriend’s tone, full of love and genuine care. The seer breathes in deeply, closing her eyes and breathes out. When Wednesday opens her eyes again, she sees Enid still kneeling in front of her, waiting oh so patiently, with a kind smile that gives her the boost she needs.

Wednesday: Okay… Enid, I- I don’t feel like a girl. I think I identify as… maybe a boy.

What happens next sends Wednesday for a loop, as Enid jumps up and hugs her so tight as she exclaims…

Enid: Oh, baby! Oh, is that it? Oh, Wednesday, baby! I’m so proud of you, thank you for telling me! *pulls back suddenly* Oh! I should ask, what are your pronouns, baby boy?

Wednesday’s brain malfunctions for a second from the… everything, but catches up soon.

Wednesday: O- oh, um… h- he/him, please?

Enid: *hugs Wednesday tightly again* Okay, baby boy! Oh, my sweet boy! I’m so proud of you, Wednesday. I’m so sorry you were so scared to tell me this, but I promise you that it changes nothing between us, okay? I still love you exactly the same as I did yesterday and the day before. Oh, Wends. I’m so proud, baby boy!

Wednesday can hardly believe what’s happening, his brain struggling to compute this reaction with the one he feared would come. It takes him a moment before he raises his arms and wraps them tightly around Enid’s waist as tears begin rolling down his face unbidden, though now tears of relief and joy.

Wednesday: Th- thank you, mi- mi loba! Thank you! ¡Gracias! ¡Gracias, gracias! *crying harder*

Enid starts rubbing her hand up and down Wednesday’s back while her other moves up to lightly scratch his scalp, doing everything she knows comforts her boyfriend the most.

Enid: *gently, quietly* Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Wednesday. There you are, my brave boy. It’s okay, let it out. I can only imagine how scared you must’ve been, baby. But it’s okay now. You’re okay. You’re more than okay, you are so brave and so strong and I am so proud of you, Wednesday. Just let it out, that’s a good boy. I’m so proud of you. Shh, shh, shh. My brave boy. *rocking back and forth*

Eventually, Wednesday’s tears slow down and his breathing returns to normal again. He pulls out of Enid’s warm embrace and looks up at the wolf with stars in both their eyes, and in that moment, Wednesday wonders how he ever thought that Enid Sinclair, of all people in the world, would ever reject him for this. A rare, but oh so very wide smile spreads across his face and the sight makes Enid giggle.

Enid: There’s that wonderful smile I love so much. Oh, and those precious dimples that I literally cannot get enough of! How did I get so lucky to get the most perfectly adorable boyfriend in the whole world?

Wednesday blushes suddenly and tries to look away, bashful.

Wednesday: *grumbles* I’m not adorable.

Enid: *hums* Hmm, you say that… while also looking the absolute most adorable I’ve ever seen you, so… jury’s out on that one? *giggles*

Wednesday blushes brighter and tries to hide his face in his hands, but is stopped by his girlfriend’s much stronger, yet still gentle hands as Enid pulls his face up to look at her, a wide smile still on his face.

Enid simply stares lovingly at Wednesday for a long moment before she whispers…

Enid: My pretty boyfriend.

Wednesday preens under the attention and the whispered words, his eyes fluttering shut as his face burns bright red, yet he’d rather be nowhere else than sitting under the careful gaze of Enid.

Wednesday: Can- can you call me that again? Please? Just… call me your boyfriend? Anything with boy, please?

Enid: *smiles widely* Of course, my pretty boyfriend. My brave boy, my good boy.

Wednesday shudders at the last petname and his thighs squeeze together as a spark shoots down between his legs and a soft, tiny moan escapes his lips. Enid’s eyes widen and she smirks at the reaction she knew would come.

Enid: Oh my! That got you excited, hmm? You like that, baby boy? You like being my good boy?

Wednesday whimpers softly and nods, as much as he can with his face still held by Enid. His eyes never leave hers, and vice versa, both wholly transfixed on the other. Enid giggles again…

Enid: Hmm, I’ve got a few ideas for how you can be a good boy for me, Wends. *bends down and whispers in his ear* Get on the bed, pretty boy.

Wednesday never rushes to obey as quick as he does right then.

End <3

(A/N: Hope y’all enjoyed this! I loved writing it, especially that little bit at the end lol 🤭 I recently became obsessed with transmasc!Wends after reading a fic that was like, loosely related to the idea lol. If anyone wants to read it, I’ll post the link lol. Anyway, I hope this will get some of y’all as obsessed with this as I am lmaoooo)

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 15

Masterlist

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation. Blood drowning drowning in blood. Nightmares.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

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We knew it was coming, but it still sucked to be going to bed alone.  There just wasn’t enough room for everyone to sleep comfortably in a hotel room.  I was strangely anxious as I got ready for bed.  I procrastinated.  Taking a longer shower than usual, doing an extra-long skin care routine, picking out an outfit for tomorrow, playing on my phone.  Until I finally had no choice but to turn in.

My dreams were full of blood and screaming.  A faceless, nameless Alpha bleeding out, reaching towards me for help.  Gurgling and choking on their own blood as it pooled around my ankles, rising quickly until it was at my hips.  The blood was cold and thick, not letting me move to get away-to run.  As it rose to my neck the pressure started to make it hard to breathe and I gasped in small amounts of air desperately trying to move.  I couldn’t let it cover my nose.  I didn’t want to drown in someone’s blood!  Please!  Oh god, please!

Waking with a flair of pain as I fell out of bed and hit my shoulder on the unforgiving hotel floor, I lay there, adjusting to reality and catching my breath.  I could still see the bleeding Alpha every time I closed my eyes.  My throat felt raw, like I had been screaming.  Maybe that was the screaming I heard in the nightmare.

I jumped hard when there was a knock on my door and an unintelligible voice on the other side, muffled by the thick hotel door.  With a sigh and still shaking I stood and answered the door.  If I was really screaming it was probably security coming to check on me.

I blinked, shocked when I opened the door to most of the staff and all my Omegas.  Plus, of course, security who were the only ones who didn’t look half asleep.  “I’m sorry.  I had a nightmare.”  I explained embarrassed.

Luckily, there were no outward signs of judgement.  Most staff and security just nodded or murmured in understanding and left.  Back to their rooms to sleep more.  The Omegas stayed, though most looked mostly asleep, leaning on each other.

“I’m really okay guys.  Go back to bed.”  No need for them to be tired tomorrow because of me.  They were already jam packed with schedules.

They dispersed back to their rooms.  All except Cahn and Lino.  Unceremoniously, Lino shoved by me and went straight to my bed - immediately falling back asleep.  I looked back at Chan in question.

“We’ll stay with you tonight.”  He stated.

Chan waited until I stepped aside to enter my room, but it was clear he wasn’t leaving – just being polite.  He made himself comfortable on the opposite side of the bed from Lino, leaving a space in between them for me, which he patted in invitation when I didn’t immediately join them.

I was immensely grateful that neither made a big deal about staying with me.  With them near me I felt like I would actually be able to fall asleep and get some rest.

Climbing over Chan, I squeeze myself between them and snuggled up to him.  He pulled me closer to tuck me under his chin and soothingly started rubbing his foot along my half.

“Was it the airport incident?”  Chan asked quietly a minute later.

“I guess it affected me more than I thought.”  I was disappointed in myself.  For not being stronger.  I wasn’t even hurt, it’s so stupid to be afraid now!

Chan kissed the top of my head.  “You were covered in human blood.  Anyone would be traumatized.  I would have vomited or cried for sure.”  He assured me.

“You did good.  Didn’t give the bastards anything.”  Lino mumbled from his pillow behind me.  I had thought he was sleeping, but apparently, I was wrong.

“I did faint.”  I pointed out.

“After we were safely out of public eye.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  No one can be strong all the time.  We all have out breaking points.”  Chan chastised gently.

Lino scooted closer behind me.  There are 9 of us.  We carry each other.”  He sighed nuzzling his face on the back of my neck.  Something he would never do or say if he wasn’t half asleep, I am sure.

“Okay, okay.  Both of you get some sleep.”  I tucked the blanket around the three of us and settled back in, ready to give sleeping without nightmares another chance now that I was between two of my Omegas.

With their warmth and scent around me, I fell back asleep easily.  And despite the nightmare still fresh in my mind, I only had pleasant dreams for the rest of the night.

The great thing about dance practice is that I could go in sweatpants, and no one cared.  Which was good because early morning practices were not my favorite.  Between Lino and Chan, I was somehow dressed, given a piggyback ride to the car, and provided caffeine.

When the caffeine finally started to kick in, I blearily looked at the calendar on my phone to see the schedule for the day.  Trying to make sense of the chaos of nine schedules in one day all jumbled and overlapping each other.

From what I could tell, after practice Chan, Felix and I had an interview with an Australian entertainment show followed by a photoshoot for a magazine spread.  My first official interview and photoshoot where I wasn’t the photographer.

Since I had never been a model before I needed to study.  So, I pulled up some of my best photos on my tablet and while the boys practiced their dances I practiced modeling.  Both facial expressions and poses.  It felt and looked clumsy as hell, and I was embarrassed.

“What the fuck are you doing?”  Lino asked coming over on one of their breaks.  I had been attempting to replicate a particularly soft and sexy pose in my camera – and failing apparently.

I relaxed my face and dropped my arms with a huff.  “I have a photoshoot with Cannie and Lixie this afternoon.”

“So, you decided to practice bad modeling?”

“Am I really that bad?”  I pouted feeling defeated.

Lino patted my head.  “You’re thinking too much about it.  You do this all the time.”

“No!  I take pictures – I’m not in them!”

“Y/n, babe, you are going to do fine.  No one is expecting you to be perfect.”

“I cannot drag you guys down!  I will not allow it!”

“You won’t.  And we won’t let you fall either.  We will walk you through the shoot.”  Felix said, joining us with a half empty bottle of water and a damp sweat towel.

I gave in easily to his promise – trusting him to keep his word.  He was one of the better models of the group, so he would likely be able to walk me through it easily.  And, despite what I said to Lino, my experience behind the camera would help, just like it did when I took the bonding marks photos.

This was the first time I was leaving a significant number of my Omegas.  And it was for almost half a day.  As the time to leave drew closer I found myself almost clinging to the Omegas I would leave.  Constantly reestablishing contact and seeking out their touch and scent as well.  Like I was some kind of drug addict in need of a constant fix.

I even went as far as sitting on Bins lap during their meeting with staff.  Pulling Hyune close and playing with his fingers in my lap and hooking an ankle around Ayen’s calf firmly.  And even as I had all three of them, my instincts wanted to bring Han, Lino, and Seungmin closer.  To have some part of me touching them, just a little.

For their part they didn’t seem to mind my clinginess.  In fact, I don’t think it bothered them at all that we would be apart for hours.  They weren’t seeking contact like I was, and any skinship I got from them I had to ask for.  Knowing that they weren’t affected by being separated from me for hours stung.  It downright hurt.  It made me sad and bitter, but unable to stop seeking contact with them.

I tried not to be bitter.  They all had a lot going on right now.  A lot on their plates and a lot on their minds.  They really didn’t have time to think about me, to worry about being apart.

I tried to remember this and not be bitter and upset, but it didn’t really work.  Emotions didn’t work on rationality and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop them.  The best I could do was try not to take it out on the Omegas.

“Alright, baby girl, time to go.”  Chan clapped and rubbed his hands together.

I shook my head.  “Not yet.”  It was too soon.  I needed more time.  Like maybe a week or two.

Chan tilted his head with a fond smile and exasperated body language.  “We have to go, or we will be late.”

We had a stare down.  Me pouting and him in fond exasperation before I finally gave in with a growl.

Lino laughed and came over to squish my cheeks together when I stood.  “That was so cute!”

Rolling my eyes I shoved his hands away but pulled him in for a hug.  I rubbed my hands all down his back and arms to make sure plenty of my scent was left behind.  So, everyone knew – even if I wasn’t here - that he was bonded.  That he was mine.

I gave the same treatment to the other Omegas I was leaving behind, taking my time, and making sure enough scent was left behind.  I had to make sure – it was an absolute must.

They tolerated it well enough.  Standing still while I rubbed at them with hyperfocus.  Only a few chuckles and eyerolls.  Han and Ayen curling up when I accidentally tickled them.

“Honey, we really are going to be late if we don’t leave.”  Lix called gently.

I nodded.  “Okay, okay.  I’m coming!”

Once in the car the anxiety doubled, and I stared at the building as we drove further and further away from six of my Omegas.  Felix took my hand and squeezed it in comfort.

“They will be fine.  And we’ll be back before you know it.”  He said quietly.

And he was right.  They would be fine.  They had their own schedules to keep them busy.  It was literally just me freaking out over separating.

It’s not like I thought they needed my protection because I knew they didn’t.  Omegas weren’t weak, and my Omegas were the strongest I have ever met.  It was me that needed them.  Needed to be needed – be wanted – by them.  I was the weak one.

😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

General Taglist @stellasays45

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[bludermaus]

I'm not as angry as some folks for Swansea not killing Jimmy early

Okay so hear me out:

We know that Anya told Swansea about the things that Jonah has done (the game doesn't specify, but let's presume it was everything) and, in turn, Swansea becomes more rude and antagonistic towards James, as well as being even more protective of the Utility Room.

We don't fully know the contents of the conversation between them. Jimbo interrupted both of them, they could've continued talking about it afterwards or maybe they were at the tail end of it. The matter is, they talked about the remaining cryo pod and - from my interpretation - collectively decided to give Daisuke the cryo pod if a time for it came. Anya crying could be either because she was opening up to Swansea about Jimminy's crimes, the fact that she was going to stay behind with Swansea for Daisuke's sake, or a combination of both.

So... who knows if Anya even asked Swansea to do something about Jerry. For all we know they decided she'd just lock herself in the med room every night away from Jonathan while Swansea kept guard of the Utility Room. Maybe she asked Swansea to do something and he - like Curly - failed her. Or maybe she even told him not do anything hasty... which sincerely I feel was the case.

Hear me out hear me out! I think there are two reasons why Anya would ask Swansea to just keep it between them for now and not do anything harsh/violent against Jeremiah:

1) People don't just think about murder as their first response, it's *hard* to decide to kill someone, even if they are deserving considering the circunstances and how they reject any and all accountability;

2) As a nurse, I think Anya is well aware of what could happen by killing Jambalaya. There are mental effects that could happen, morale would go down from the loss of human life, killing someone is not an easy thing to do and their minds have already been stretched thin from the whole crash situation. And also, imagine they killed Jamboree... what now? They can't just dispose of the body. What happens after some time when the body decomposes? What happens when the putrid air takes over the ship? What mental and physical consequences would that bring to the rest of the crew inside such a closed space with that smell? What if it's very hot inside and now you're stuck with that smell?

I just think that they decided it was better to just cope with Jizzy for the moment - handle him very carefully - because the moment they decided to kill him it'd signal the beginning of the end, their already stretched-thin mental states wouldn't hold much longer. I *GUESS* they could've killed him, put Daisuke in the cryo pod, mercy killed Curly, then Anya could've OD'ed on the pills and Swansea could have drunk so much Mouthwashing that he expired... but like, who goes for that as their first option?

Anyways this was long enough! I could be super wrong, this is just my interpretation of things, what matters is that we all hate Jimmy, fuck him. Also do not defend Curly, I feel bad for all the ordeal that he had to deal with post-crash but man you really fumbled the bag when taking responsibility was most necessary. Even if he hadn't done anything immediately, at least tell Anya that she had his full support and that Jinny would pay for his actions and that he needed some time to think of what exactly to do but that he WOULD actually do something, not just push away to the back of his mind

[30somethingautisticteacher]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @lavenderleahy @bangpop91 and @typicalopposite

Here's a bit of Chapter 2 of Carried Away , my Bucktommy angsty mpreg.

*****

God, he was angry. Buck was so angry. Seeing Tommy again had stirred up a whirlwind of emotions he thought he had buried deep inside. He had wanted—still wanted—forever with this man. Nothing that Tommy had said had been that bad. Buck had expected Tommy to be surprised. But Buck was scared. Tommy had shown he was a runner. He had run from Buck once. He was not going to run from their child. Not if Buck had anything to say about it.

His body was on autopilot as he drove, stopping in front of an unfamiliar house on a familiar street. He turned off the Jeep, walked to the door, and knocked.

"Hey, Buck," Bobby answered. His eyes widened as he looked down and saw Buck in all his glory. "Whoa, Buck," he said, surprise evident in his voice. "Wow, uh, come on in."

Buck stepped into the house, his heart still racing from the confrontation with Tommy. He knew he needed to talk to someone, and Bobby had always been there for him, offering guidance and support. As he walked inside, he hoped that Bobby would be able to help him make sense of the tumultuous thoughts and feelings swirling inside him.

"So, Buck, you're, uh..." Bobby started, gesturing towards Buck's belly.

"Pregnant. Yep," Buck confirmed, his hand instinctively resting on his bump.

"How far along?" Bobby asked, concern etched on his face.

"16 weeks," Buck replied.

"16 weeks??? Okay, you are on light duty effective immediately," Bobby said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"Yes, Cap," Buck nodded solemnly, accepting Bobby's decision. He knew that his captain had his best interests at heart, and he was grateful for the support and understanding.

"Now, I know it's not really my place to ask, but is it...?" Bobby trailed off, his unspoken question hanging in the air.

"Tommy's? Yeah, it's Tommy's," Buck confirmed, his voice cracking as he started to tear up.

"Hey, hey, come here, kid," Bobby said softly, opening his arms and pulling Buck into a comforting hug. He could see the pain and fear in Buck's eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to support his surrogate son through this challenging time.

"Does he know?" Bobby asked gently.

"Yeah, I just told him," Buck replied, wiping away a stray tear.

"I take it it didn't go well," Bobby said, his brow furrowing with concern.

"He accused me of baby trapping him," Buck said, his voice filled with hurt and disbelief.

"He did what?" Bobby asked, shocked by Tommy's accusation.

"Well, maybe not exactly that, but he was shocked that I didn't know I was a carrier," Buck explained, his shoulders slumping.

"Actually, Buck, I'm kind of surprised too," Bobby admitted, his tone gentle but honest.

"My parents forgot to get me tested as a kid. Remember, I was only for spare parts anyway," Buck said bitterly.

Bobby shot him a look. "No, I get that part, but Buck, why never test as an adult? Especially when you started sleeping with men."

"Man. Singular. I've only been with one man," Buck clarified, his voice firm.

[wisecura]

Shine

Yan-yuji x fem-idol reader

An:just a concept I was thinking about writing for soon. Let me know what you think. I prefer golden retriever type yanderes so here we go.

Warning: obsessive behavior, unhealthy behavior, stalking, please read at your own discretion

You met Yuji while on tour about a year ago.

You’ve met plenty of people. Hundreds if not thousands. From all walks of life. But that pink headed ball of pure admiration was definitely one that stood out. You could say with utmost certainty that Yuji Itadori was your most devout fan.

He showed up at every concert, purchased tons of your merch, went to almost every fan meet and greet. He was so consistent, you knew him my name at that point.

It was cute at first. That sparkling energy, those lovestruck puppy dog eyes, and that dopey smile he always gave you. Always energetic and happy to see you. Begging you to flash you killer pose he’d seen so often on stage.

It was like—from the second he met you—he was hooked. He just seemed to absolutely adore you. Knew all of your songs, followed every possible social media, and even led a few fan clubs.

After that year, he became much bolder. During your meet and greets he’d often ask for a picture, where he’d shyly pull you into a side hug—flashing a peace sign and bright smile. Now this wasn’t strange, it was something that was always offered in the meet n greet bundle.

Only now his hand seemed to cling on a little more tightly, not willing to let go quite as fast. You’d noticed his breathing picked up and his face flushing. And by the time he actually let go, you were almost a little red.

You’d shrugged it off—something you normally wouldn’t have done if it had been anyone else. Normally baring them from the next meet and greet just for safety sake. But you let it slide. After all, Yuji was a consistent face. Someone you were somewhat familiar with.

But you’d noticed you also started getting pages from the front desk of your pent house apartment more often. There’d been multiple visits from a hooded figure, loitering at the elevators. Trying—but failing to jam the button that lead straight to your floor. Thank fuck for key card access.

You’d been concerned, obviously. And what made it even scarier was the frequency of visits coupled with the lack of any actual resolution. They weren’t caught. Always slipping away just quick enough to miss the security guards.

And then the night came. First it was the knocks. Heavy. Loud. And frantic. You’d been too scared to open the door, immediately searching for your phone to call the police should you need to. Then making your way over to the intercom.

Before you could reach it, the knocks stopped.

This freaked you out enough to grab a kitchen knife—maybe dial the front desk. You’d barely reached the kitchen before you heard it.

Bam! Bam! BAM!

Your head spun around only to find someone’s foot through your front door. You, like any sane person, fucking panic—running to grab that knife before you didn’t have a chance.

You get there just in time to see that hooded figure standing at your kitchen entryway.

And who would you fucking guess, other than Yuji Itadori.

“Y-yuji?”

A huge grin spread across his face at your words. You’d remembered his name. A small pink blush crossed his cheeks. His eyes devoid of much else other than glassiness that reflected you. Damn near cold and dead.

That same lovesick grin he’d worn at every one of your meet and greets.

You couldn’t gauge his next moves, but you knew it wouldn’t be good. You kept your knife firmly in from of you, the only protection saving you from this lunatics psychotic break.

He looked ready to tackle you. And you weren’t sure you’d be able to take him. Something you normally wouldn’t pay attention to—wouldn’t have much reason to.

The dude was fucking built. At least twice as wide and a head whole taller than you.

And he started walking, slow—long strides.

“S-stay back!—“ you swing your knife—albeit a little clumsily. You definitely weren’t a fighter.

He stopped just out of your swinging distance, those same dead eyes staring down at you. His grin somewhat fading, an expression of worry—maybe confusion crossing his face.

“You don’t need to do that.” He makes a grab for your knife tats still latched in your trembling grip. “You’re gonna hurt yourself, cut it out—“

“Stay back!!”

“Hey cut it out—“ his grin falling completely, his expression growing more and more impatient by the second.

His hand shoots out grabbing your wrist with surprising strength. The knife falling between you two. And before you could think of even attempting to reach for it—he’d kicked it away.

“See? What were you thinking?” he muttered, tugging you into a crushing hug, his arms wrapping around you like a vice. His grip was desperate, clinging to you as if letting go would kill him. “Please, please don’t hate me,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Let’s just go home. I’ll make everything better, I promise.”

You were trembling, frozen in his embrace, the weight of his words sinking into your chest like stones. You didn’t know what to say, what to do—every instinct screamed to run, but his arms refused to let you move.

All you could think was how much you wished you’d never met Yuji Itadori.

[pthalogreenwriter]

Trouville Limerence - Chapter 2

A/n: Hi! I am hoping to do weekly(ish) updates so chapter 3 will come next week! If you would like to be in the taglist, let me know and I will add you immediately!

Link to Ch 1

P.S I wrote this when i was high so bare with me

Wc: 3.5k

Summary: Hitman/Assassin!Gojo x Reader where he's very Yandere but doesn't want to kill you, he is genuinely obsessed with you.

Warning: creepy Gojo, stalking, lowkey delusional

Gojo hit the gas pedal and quickly tried to park his car. His eyes almost ceased to leave the sight of you but he needed to walk if he wanted to know where you were going. He parked along the street you crossed from and locked the car without looking back. 

He would’ve lost you in the crowd of people if Gojo didn’t already have your scent ingrained in his brain. He focused his senses, following the smell of clean cotton and lotus as he sped through the crowd. Soon, he was able to find you, still hurrying along the street to wherever your destination was. You wore a white button up long sleeve, tucked in a khaki skirt that stopped right below your knee. Formal but inconvenient in the moment of haste. 

He made sure to keep a good distance behind you, glad not to have his blindfold on to make him stand out. There were dozens of people around the street, and you flew right past them, head down and determined. You wouldn’t even have noticed him if you weren’t in a hurry. 

Gojo didn’t know what his goal was. He didn't know if he was going to speak to you, introduce himself, or want to find out where you were going. He only followed and watched. 

Minutes passed before he realized where you were running off too. You ended up in a pastel blue bakery on the corner of a street, its windows aligned with white tables on the inside. A bell rang as the door opened, Gojo being able to hear it in front of a store a few doors down. 

Satoru was at an impasse. He could either go in, introduce and talk himself up as he usually did or he could walk away. 

I can’t just walk up to a stranger anymore. I don’t know anything about her. 

With the door closed to the bakery, Gojo could still smell you, stronger than the made desserts you were rushing to. He wanted to look at you more but you left his view. He stood in front of the nearby store, taking a breath and ready to walk away. And then he heard you. 

You spoke with rushed kindness, your voice consuming all that he could hear around him. He knew even if he tried, Gojo wouldn’t be able to block out your voice, your smell, you. You were intoxicating and he got addicted fast. This frustrated him. 

He followed his frustration, crossing the street to see if he could get a better view through the windows of the cafe. This worked, watching your side profile move as you were talking to the girl behind the counter. Hearing your voice and  watching the way you carried yourself was more consuming than the smell of you. Gojo couldn’t walk away now. 

The baker walked away to get your order as Gojo noticed the small gleam of sweat he smelled on your body earlier had disappeared. The clean cloth scent in the air grew stronger every time you looked at your phone for the time, you were nervous. 

Satoru Gojo did not understand why he could sense you from far away so strongly when everyone else didn’t affect him like this. When people were in close proximity, he blocked them out. Prior to learning control, he would have smelt what someone had for breakfast that morning hours after or hear a baby crying in the middle of the night 7 doors down . These were what his younger teen years felt like. Overwhelming and almost painful to learn control. 

This felt as if he was a teen again, unable to not feel everything around him and drown in it. Except the only thing he could sense was you, and he found himself letting it take over his breath easier than usual. 

His sight worked for him well here. He saw the lady come back behind the counter with a large box that matched the color of the store. You paid for the order and picked it up, securing your small purse around your shoulder. You didn’t struggle with the box when you left the store and weren't as in a rush as when you got there. Instead of running, you sped walk, slower than your earlier scurry. 

When you left the store and started going back the way Gojo found you, he crossed the street again and kept the same amount of distance and people in between the both of you as there was earlier. You still didn’t notice him, focused on the way back to your destination before you were too late. 

Gojo took this time to further wonder what he was doing. He wasn’t sure what he wanted from you, if he was going to meet you he would’ve done it at the bakery. This is what he repeated in his head to try to stop himself from following you further. 

To no avail, he followed you all the way to your goal. Less and less people were on the street, the normal lunch time for work coming to a conclusion. Satoru slowed his pace, not wanting it to be obvious to others that he was on your trail. He still had a good view of you from where he was lurking behind. Since there were less people, he took this opportunity to guess where you were going. He didn’t have much time to, coming to a halt when you made a turn. 

Saitama Urami East Junior High

He read the stone plaque that was carved with the school name as you hurried past it and up the stairs. No one else was around, indicating classes had already started. You were still in a rush not noticing Gojo behind you at the school entrance. At this moment Gojo realized what you were rushing to. 

She’s a teacher.

This was great in Gojo’s eyes. The best case scenario this could’ve been. You knew how to handle children, had a clean record, and liked sweets. Perfect.

The fresh cotton smell was leaving him the more you walked away, it made him want to yell out for you to stop. He couldn’t though, not when you were already running late to class. 

Satoru turned on his heel and quickly walked away back to his car. He replayed the journey in his head, wrapping his mind around the fact that no matter how hard he tried, he never had the will to walk away. After the bakery, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to anymore. 

The idea of having you in his life didn’t frighten him as much as it did before when you were a stranger. Gojo outwardly huffed at the idea of that, sounding ridiculous as if he’s known you for years. Sure, he still didn't know your name but it wouldn’t be hard to find out. His job and abilities made it easy for him to find almost anyone he wanted, and you being a teacher was not an exception. 

He got to his car in a short amount of time, too eager to not drive back to the school. His plan was to wait in his car for classes to finish for the day and wait for you to get out of work. 

And then what? 

Gojo kept asking himself this question while waiting those few hours for you. He didn’t know what, but he knew he couldn’t come up to you after following from the bakery. He wasn’t blind of the fact that it was creepy of him to wait near a school for a teacher to come out either. He was at a loss for words of what to say if he went up to you. 

The thought of his current work assignment has ceased to pop up in the contractor’s head as you never left his mind. You overpowered him more than he was used to, and not on purpose. The only other person that popped up in his mind was Megumi. 

She works with middle schoolers. When she meets him, she’ll be used to his shit because she works with kids like that everyday! 

When. He almost missed it. A word guaranteeing something happening, not if. What was he thinking? 

No, he can see it now. An image popped up in Gojo’s head. 

Megumi was sitting on the couch doing his homework as Gojo walked in from work, kicking his shoes to the side. His back ached from the scuffle he had with a case subject, realizing he definitely should have stretched beforehand. 

“Welcome back.” Megumi greeted him, momentarily looking at him walk through the living room. His eyes didn’t look back up until Gojo ruffled his hair, the same way he’s been annoying Fushiguro for years. A deep grunt came from the brunette and slapped the elder’s hand out the way, fixing his pointed tips then going back to his homework. “She’s in the room.” 

The bedroom door was closed but not locked. Satoru braced himself as he opened the door, his excitement and hunger eating at him and he felt giddy coming home to the both of you. He never got used to this, his heart thumping in his chest, feeling like electricity was coursing through him, charging him up for you. 

Your back was turned to him when he opened the door. You were too busy to notice him, drying your hair in the mirror from your shower a few minutes prior. 

Gojo ripped the sunglasses off his eyes, wanting to take a better look at you. He took this time to see what you were wearing, a shit-splitting grin growing on his face. You were in his pastel blue work shirt, some spots sticking to you from the undried shower water. His sweatpants would drag every time you moved your feet, his long legs making it hard to wear any bottoms of his. Yeah, he never got used to this. 

You didn’t notice him until he was directly behind you, making you jump from the sudden silhouette popping up in the mirror. He grabbed at your waist turning you around. His large hand coming up to cup the side of your neck, thumb running along the side of your cheek. Gojo inhaled, taking in everything in front of him.

The smell of Lotus got stronger, the happiness and warmth growing inside your heart. His fingers felt forbidden as they traveled along your back, making you gasp once they grasped your backside. Goosebumps were summoned on your skin as Gojo touched you, a shiver going down your spine. His aura was so cold, a complete irony to his hot touch. 

He pulled your face toward him into a hungry kiss. Your eyes fluttered close as you let him lead, tongue brushing against yours in simple devour. With every kiss, he sucked your breath into his, taking the life you had inside. Nibbling on your lip, he moaned against your mouth, especially when his hand that was over the clothes on your backside was now under them. Gojo pulled you into his body, pressing against you to feel how hard he was. This is how it was meant to be. 

But you had different plans, pulling at the hand on your face to pull away from the kiss. He took this as a chance to move his mouth along your check to your neck, lifting you with ease with the one hand on your ass. You whimpered as your hands pushed against his shoulders, releasing his hold from his mouth and hands moving back on the clothes. 

“Satoru, no, not now. I’m going to help Megumi with his essay and make us some food.” He still had you pressed against him as spoke, his face still dangerously close to yours. You wanted to but you couldn’t, you had things to do. 

“Let me order. You’ll be done by the time the food gets here and then I can have you all to myself.” He nuzzled into the side of your face as he spoke, both hands now gripping your ass tight and watching the way it fit in his hands in the mirror. 

You hummed at the thought, not wanting to cook now that Gojo was here. You never ordered out for you and Megumi, him giving no indication of wanting anything else anytime you cooked dinner. And Gojo was always the one to offer, willing for you to stay in the house while he got the food. 

“Hmm okay. I’ve missed you.” Your hands went up to his undercut, scratching light at the skin underneath. Gojo fluttered his eyes closed, only seeming to get harder under your touch and making his knees feel like jello. This didn’t go by you, “You missed me too.”

You kissed his lips once more and then stepped away from him, picking up the towel you dried your hair with. You giggled as he pouted, his grasp left empty as when he first walked into the room. Gojo couldn’t help but smile though when you gave him another kiss on the check before leaving the room. You adored him and he knew it. 

You joined Megumi on the couch, Gojo following you back to the living room and leaned against the side wall. He watched you both, talking and working on the essay. Fushiguro never gave you as much sass as he did Gojo, you were too nice and he spoke to you about everything. Even if he did, you never took any lip from him, calling the teen out yet worried about what was going on. Satoru couldn’t have been happier. The two most important people in his life were close with him and each other, never needing anything else but him. 

Gojo bites his lips at the thought of being close to you, hands gripping the steering wheel tight once again. He had to slow himself down and keep a level head while he waited. He needed to figure out what he was going to do once you got out of work. He needed to figure out what you were going to do once you got out of the school.

You were perfect so far, yet there was more to know. What did you do after work? Did you already have someone to go home to? Did you have any kids yourself? If you smelt like clean cotton when you were nervous, what did the lotus and the eucalyptus mean? Would you really smell like lotus if you were happy? 

Gojo would have spent all day thinking and waiting for you in his car if it meant that he would see you again. So the hours flew by yet they were painstakingly slow, the urge to hear your voice and have the sight of you in front of him fed his earlier frustration. He needed to see you. 

At the end of the school day, all the students filed out first to leave school grounds. With it being Friday, Gojo was hoping you would be out once the kids left. This would let him to really get to know you, what you do and who you see. He didn’t know when he would get this chance again, having to be home with Megumi most of the time, so he didn’t want to waste it with you being at the school all day. 

Should I have Suguru watch Megumi again next week? No, I’ll get Nanami to do it. He’ll do it if I give him one of my personal days. 

He decided to ask Nanami while he waited for you to get out of work. He probably wouldn’t answer yet, something about ‘phones being a distraction from the work at hand’ but Gojo always had his phone on. If the school called for Fushiguro, then Gojo had to be ready to answer. 

It wasn’t long after the kids left that Gojo saw you walk out the entrance you came in through. You were happier, no bakery box in hand but instead a shoulder bag for work on the side. Gojo realized the desserts must’ve been for your students when a familiar scent passed through his nose. The smell of lotus was fragrant and lush in the air, no sign of any nervousness from hours before. I was right.

You didn't take a car to work. Gojo figured that out when you had started walking far enough that he had to follow the same routine from earlier, keeping many people between you. If you ended up turning around, Gojo would be far away enough to do the same thing and act like he was looking at something else. But you didn’t and he followed you on the local train and the walk to your place. 

The trip to your small apartment building wasn’t long, actually being closer to Gojo’s house than he was to the Kaisen building. It was a wide two story building, four apartments wide. He watched you climb up the brown stairs at the side of the tan building, face neutral with thought. Your keys jingled as you unlocked your front door to get it, the stranger that followed you home standing directly underneath you below the apartment balcony. He heard the door close behind you, the lock securing in place loudly above him. Gojo let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

What now?

Satoru Gojo was never in this place before. He didn’t know his next move. He could go back to his car and park it nearby, but what if you leave your place while he’s gone? What if someone comes by? 

It was quiet for the first time since he left the office that day. Your door was strong enough to nearly block the lotus and clean cotton in the air, making it hard for Gojo to feel you once again. 

Feel you. He wondered what your touch would feel like on his skin, would it be the electricity he feels when he thinks about you? A shock wave that pulses throughout his body? Maybe it would feel like a head high, but passing through his bones and nerves rather than just his head. Whatever it was, he was willing to take it as long as you touched him. 

For what felt like days, but was really seven hours, Gojo stood under your doorstep in case you decided to ever leave your apartment that Friday night. He stayed in one position the whole day, legs crossed as his back leaned against the concrete wall, hands in his pockets. His eyes were closed, concentrating on what he could hear going on from behind your door. From time to time he would hear the dramatics of reality tv on your screen, or you speaking to a friend on the phone line about something funny or ridiculous a student did today. But Gojo’s favorite part was when you cooked yourself dinner. 

Oh how he wished he could have seen you. He heard you hum to yourself as you prepped the food, soon changing into whistling as you started to cook. Whatever was on the stove smelt great, still Gojo never took his focus off of you, by scent or hearing. You hummed and whistled a lazy tune, making his eyes flutter under sunglasses. What he would give to see you at peace right now. 

You didn’t leave your place again that night. The inside of your apartment went quiet after 10pm, and Gojo would only hear an occasional stir from deeper inside your apartment. He could only guess that it was you moving around in your sleep. He wished to see that too, another form of simple peace he would love to see on your face. 

After another half hour of convincing himself that you were asleep and wouldn’t leave your place, Gojo finally lifted himself from the wall. He had to walk back to his car and complete the duty that was assigned to him. His fists were clenched as he left, the force of having to walk away from your apartment hit him ever so slowly. It was a miracle he was able to leave the property, almost turning back around a few times to his now comfortable spot under your front door. 

Alas, Satoru finally remembered where he was originally going to go when he first saw you. The full warm feeling in his chest ruptured at the thought of Mahito, wanting to come back to you as soon as possible. He wanted to abandon his original plan to make Mahito suffer, knowing it would take away too much time from being with you. He couldn’t though, not letting Mahito suffer like the worst of them brought a disgust to Satoru’s mind, like he was doing an injustice to society by letting him die quickly. It would be. 

Once Gojo entered his car, the bottomless pit came back to his chest, crying at him to run all the way back and take you with him. He couldn’t, not to where he was going.

~~

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