#Name meaning is my favorite way of doing it

[livwritessometimes]

I Was Actually Rooting For You

: Part 16 (Lando's Version)

: Dares come with a lot of consequences, and Lando’s gotta pay the price

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…

Kika made her way up the stairs, carrying a huge blanket and a bag full of Y/n's favorite snacks. Just as she turned the corner towards her apartment door, she froze in her tracks. There, next to the door, sat Lando Norris in the same clothes he had worn to the spring fling. His eyes looked red, as if he had been crying, which made Kika scoff. How ironic it was that he was the one crying.

Hearing some rustling, Lando looked up and saw Kika standing near the staircase. As soon as he saw her, he sprang to his feet.

"Kika I-" He started.

"It's Francisca, my name is Francisca," She cut him off.

"Umm right...Francisca. I need to talk to Y/n. I have to explain her my side of the story. Could you plea-"

"You have some nerve thinking I would convince her to talk to you," Kika seethed.

She continued, "And what do you even mean by 'your side of the story'? What more could you possibly have to say? And to think I was actually rooting for you." Kika shoved past him, feeling more grateful than ever for having a key to Y/n's apartment. She couldn't imagine what would have happened if Y/n opened the door for her instead.

…

Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @papaya-twinks | @vintagefucksstuff | @st4rg1rln | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tashisgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |

[sillylotrpolls]

(Credit and a truly absurd amount of context below the poll in case you don't know who the Old Took is.)

Today's poll looks at a question posed by @sindar-princeling:

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

In the notes on that post, the most popular theory by far was espoused by @mitsuhachiinthehive, who posited that Gandalf hooked up with a hobbit at some point and [some of] the Tooks are his descendants. This idea was further spread thanks to @the-haiku-bot.

Additional theories which I cribbed for poll options:

The diamond cufflinks were magical in more ways than one @elodieunderglass

He drank an ent-draught courtesy of the missing ent wives @betterofflost

He got hold of a random magic elven ring @morgulscribe

If you would like some a lot of context from canon so you can decide for yourself, more information about the Old Took is beneath the cut.

First off, it's established multiple times in the books what a big deal it was for Bilbo to beat Old Took's record. From The Return of the King:

He opened his eyes and looked up as they came in. 'Hullo, hullo!' he said. 'So you've come back? And tomorrow's my birthday, too. How clever of you! Do you know, I shall be one hundred and twenty-nine? And in one year more, if I am spared, I shall equal the Old Took. I should like to beat him; but we shall see.' [...] Little Elanor was nearly six months old, and 1421 had passed to its autumn, when Frodo called Sam into the study. 'It will be Bilbo's Birthday on Thursday, Sam,' he said. 'And he will pass the Old Took. He will be a hundred and thirty-one!' 'So he will!' said Sam. 'He's a marvel!'

Here's a biography on the old hobbit from Tolkien Gateway:

After the death of his father in 1248, Gerontius became the twenty-sixth Thain of the Shire. He was a friend of Gandalf, who gave him a pair of magic diamond studs and performed firework tricks during Gerontius' midsummer-eve parties. Gerontius Took reached the impressive age of 130, which made him the oldest Hobbit until his grandson Bilbo Baggins celebrated his 131st Birthday. He also held the record of most offspring, until Samwise Gamgee bested him with Tom's birth in S.R. 1442.

And from Tolkien Gateway's page on the Took Family:

Tooks were mainly of Fallohide Hobbit stock, and had quite a reputation for unusual behavior (among other things being more adventurous than the other Hobbits), a quality not valued in the Shire. For this they would be seen as less respectable, but those traits were "tolerated" thanks to their large numbers and wealth. An absurd legend among other families, was that one of the Took ancestors married a fairy. The Wizard Gandalf was a known, if disreputable, associate.

Here we have Gandalf introducing himself to Bilbo in The Hobbit. Note that Belladonna Took is one of the Old Took's 12 (!!) children.

“Yes, yes, my dear sir—and I do know your name, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. And you do know my name, though you don’t remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took’s son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!” “Gandalf, Gandalf! Good gracious me! Not the wandering wizard that gave Old Took a pair of magic diamond studs that fastened themselves and never came undone till ordered? Not the fellow who used to tell such wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows’ sons? Not the man that used to make such particularly excellent fireworks! I remember those! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer’s Eve. Splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening!” You will notice already that Mr. Baggins was not quite so prosy as he liked to believe, also that he was very fond of flowers. “Dear me!” he went on. “Not the Gandalf who was responsible for so many quiet lads and lasses going off into the Blue for mad adventures? Anything from climbing trees to visiting elves—or sailing in ships, sailing to other shores! Bless me, life used to be quite inter—I mean, you used to upset things badly in these parts once upon a time. I beg your pardon, but I had no idea you were still in business.” “Where else should I be?” said the wizard. “All the same I am pleased to find you remember something about me. You seem to remember my fireworks kindly, at any rate, and that is not without hope. Indeed for your old grandfather Took’s sake, and for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for.”

And for context, Sam was 102 when he sailed West, Merry was at least 103 and almost certainly older when he died, and Pippin at least 95. The uncertainty is because Tolkien describes their last years thus in the Appendices:

1484 In the spring of the year a message came from Rohan to Buckland that King Éomer wished to see Master Holdwine once again. Meriadoc was then old (102) but still hale. He took counsel with his friend the Thain [Pippin], and soon after they handed over their goods and offices to their sons and rode away over the Sam Ford, and they were not seen again in the Shire. It was heard after that Master Meriadoc came to Edoras and was with King Éomer before he died in that autumn. Then he and Thain Peregrin went to Gondor and passed what short years were left to them in that realm, until they died and were laid in Rath Dínen among the great of Gondor. 1541 In this year on March 1st came at last the Passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in the Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring.

[icelynia]

Most of these “live-action” adaptations are using so much CGI that they may as well be 3D animated. They’re even using CGI for human characters that did not need it (the dwarfs).

Just think of what a different medium could bring to different stories. If you have nothing to add, expand, or change in a meaningful way, maybe you shouldn’t be making an adaptation of that story.

Cinderella (2015) will always be my favorite live-action adaptation because it added and expanded upon the story that was already there. It didn’t make Cinderella a “Girl Boss Who Doesn’t Need no Man”, but kept the heart of her character the same. It expanded upon the Prince and made him an actual character with a name. We got to see young Ella with her parents, her mother especially, happy and carefree.

If Hollywood learned from this that people like meaningful stories full of universal truths, then we would be in a much better place right now when it comes to them.

Back to the whole point of this, having animated adaptations would be amazing. As long as they’re handled with love and care, this would be such a good turn for the industry. You can do so much more with animation than with LA.

One final note:

Just because somethings animated, doesn’t mean it’s not for adults. Not all animation is for kids! Look at Arcane, Hazbin Hotel, Attack on Titan, Beastars, and so much more.

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

[leviathanxprincess]

Introducing Homicipher Characters to Your Plushies - Pt. 1

The Homicipher Characters come to you in hopes for whatever insanity they plan to drag you into, you instead have a different plan! Showing them your plushies!

Based off my series for the whb devils ! Consider this is scenario where you brought them back to your world with you and they understand your language fully now and vice versa !

Notes: Some very light suggestive content. Gender neutral reader ! This round of characters includes: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Scarletella, Mr. Chopped. Mr. Silvair, Mr. Gap, Mr. Hood, & Mr. Machete !

Mr. Crawling

Honestly you could do anything and it would just make him love you more.

But especially in this case!

He will sit and listen intently to every last thing you have to say about your plushies!

And he's memorized all of their names for you!! He knows which ones are your favorites and which ones you find the most comforting when you're upset.

He thinks you're so cute when you talk about them too!

He gives you and your plushies pets as you talk about them!!

Squishes your cheeks, you're the most adorable person to him and he's glad you shared with him such an important part of your life.

Will go out and find even more plushies for you. He would do anything for you after all!

Mr. Scarletella

If I'm being honest you could honestly talk about anything and he would just listen.

It wouldn't matter the topic. You wanna talk about your plushies? Then yeah of course he's gonna listen and eat up every detail.

He loves seeing your smile, and admittedly he does get a bit of cuteness aggression from it so prepare yourself for that lol.

However.... He does get kind of jealous of them too.

What do you mean he's not the only being you've given names to? Not to mention the amount of attention and affection you give to them.

Yes, these aren't living creatures and he knows this but he can't help himself!

He gets irritated about it, if you notice his jealousy right away and stop and give him attention then he'll get over it quick.

If it takes you longer to notice however. Things might end up requiring a much more bigger solution than just a few kisses and cuddles.

Mr. Chopped

They're very cute!! He likes your plushies and how excited and cute you get when you talk about them!!

But... They're not as cute as him, right?

Expect to be showing him an equal amount of attention as you are your plushies as your introducing him to them.

He just gets so grumpy and jealous way too easily.

He very much requires you to gush about him just as much as you gush about these inanimate objects.

And as long as you do so he is pleased and content and can live in harmony with your plushies.

He takes note of the names and while he might not remember every last detail, he does like talking to you about them!!

He knows it's an easy way to make you happy and he very much likes making you happy!!

However you'll never know that sometimes when you're not looking, he's glaring at them.

Mr. Silvair

While I don't think he really cares that much about the plushies, he is interested in humans. And you.

So he'll listen. It gives him a bit of insight to how not human minds work, but specifically yours.

This odd cute stuffed creatures bring you immense joy, he's not sure why, but he knows it does and he would like to know why.

Honestly it doesn't really matter what you do, everything to him provides him with more research.

That being said, it's not like it ends up being solely about his research.

He does end up finding himself being oddly endeared by your behavior and how happy you when talking about your plushies.

He's taking to placing them on your whenever you're upset or need comfort. Especially since he knows it works.

He can soft and sweet sometimes. At least when it comes to his favorite human, of course.

Mr. Gap

The idea came to you when you saw him peeking out of a dark gap that was in your plushie pile!

He came to ask one of his typical questions, but you didn't let him get a word in!

You immediately just picked up one of your plushies and started talking about them!

He doesn't really quite find anything interesting about the plushies, but he is interested in you so!

He will listen to what you have to say. And he does know some of your plushies by name after you tell him about them.

Will occasionally show up with plushies he's found that he thinks you will like.

Of course you need to give him your heart to have them though!

You won't?

Well... he guesses he can settle for a kiss or something instead....

Mr. Hood

He doesn't quite fully understand your deep attachment to these objects, but he'll support your love for them fully.

We already know he's a good teacher, but he's also one of the best listeners as well.

He will sit for however long it takes for you to share with him all of your plushies and their names and even lore if you have that for them as well.

He does find it rather endearing, even if he's not quite sure why he enjoys you talking about something for so long.

Will pat your head occasionally, if only he had a head that you could see because if he did he would have the softest smile on it as he watches you talk.

Truly experiencing you share this with him just puts an even deeper desire in him to protect you from any and all harm.

He will make sure and be guaranteed to protect that bright, beaming smile on your face that you have in this moment. At any cost.

Mr. Machete

He does not give a shit.

Or at least that's what he says.

And well, to be fair, he is annoyed by your focus on these cute nonthreatening soft things instead of just sparing with him or something.

Don't ask him if he's jealous of your plushies, he'll deny it to ends of the earth.

Ignore that he's been acting grumpy since.

Just give him a little extra attention and he'll be fine.

Also seems like the kind to get cuteness aggression. But his cuteness aggression just leads to him wanting to fight you. And bite you. Maybe some scratching too. Basically he's not gonna be nice about it and just give you squeezing hugs or something lol

[iichfilwypj]

loved | percy jackson

ღ percy jackson x daughter of ares! reader ღ warnings: hurt/comfort! (for the ones that are so so angry) ღ wc: 720 this is clearly about me guys

“Percy, you don’t understand!” 

Her shouts shattered the silence of the forest; the birds seemed to have fled the moment they arrived, and the forest nymphs hid within their trees, unwilling to get involved.

“You’re right!” His voice was edged with frustration and anger as he followed her, but instead of looking threatening, he looked almost pitiable. "I don’t!"

There was a raw, painful gleam in his eyes, one she chose to ignore -although it proved her point.

“Why can’t you talk to me? Tell me what is wrong, please.” He begged. “I love you.”

No. 

Not those words. 

They were precisely the ones she didn’t want to hear. 

The weight they pressed onto her chest was overwhelming, and she didn’t think she could bear it any longer. 

He was the sweetest and kindest boy in camp, effortlessly funny and charming with everyone –how could someone like him love someone like her?

“That’s the thing.” Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, crescent-shaped marks forming in her palms. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she stopped to turn toward him. “You can’t love me!” 

And he flinched. He fucking flinched at her.

But she didn’t care.

“I’m mean! I’m mean, and violent, and aggressive. I’m insecure, quiet, narcissistic. I have anger issues, stupids outbursts, I curse all the fucking the time! I’m not-” She took a deep breath, trying to quell the anger boiling inside her.

She was unlovable.

“Percy, I can’t make you happy. I don’t know how you expect this-” She gestured toward the space between them, which seemed to close with each tentative step he took. “-to work, I am not good for y-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” 

Now it was her turn to flinch as he stepped closer, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly. 

He was staring into her eyes as if he could see right through her, peeling back her defenses to uncover the truth she kept hidden –something she sensed he had been doing for far too long. 

“Don’t tell me what’s good for me or not.”

She could only stay silent.

What else could she do with that sight in front of her? A sight that wasn’t made for her, that felt so foreign for her.  

Those green eyes looked at her with a love she was sure she didn’t deserve, and those hands brushed against her skin as if they could see something good within her that she had buried.

“I know you, and I know how you feel. Like you don’t deserve the good things that happen to you, like you’re not good enough, like you’re a burden in everyone else’s life." One of his hands moved to cup her cheek. "Like you are a bad person.” 

She almost laughed; well, he was really laying bare her entire life with his words. 

“I don’t know who made you think all of that, but please, I’m begging you, don’t believe them.”

“That's the thing,” Percy leaned closer to her to show he was paying attention, but it was almost impossible to get any closer. “No one said anything; I just know it.”

As she closed her eyes, he observed her. Before him stood his favorite person in the world, unraveling before his eyes.

And he couldn’t stand to see it happen.

“You are the purest person in the whole world. From the first moment I saw you, I was wrapped around your finger. My mother is tired of hearing your name, my room is fed up with me sprawled out, holding your photo, and my mind is consumed by thoughts of you –there is no space for anything else. ” 

The words flowed from his lips as if they were the most natural thing in the world, and the effect they had on her was overwhelming.

She felt the boy’s hands on her face, gently wiping away the tears she didn't know were there –he knew how much she hated being seen while crying.

When she finally dared to open her eyes, something clicked inside her as she was met with the prettiest shade of green.

She had never felt this way in her life, so free, so safe.

And despite the fear swirling within her, she wanted to try –to try with him.

“You are not mean, you are not a bad person, you are not something that is wrong."

His hands were so, so soft on her cheeks that she could've died.

But she didn't; she felt more alive than ever.

"You live, you act and you feel so, so much. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, you have to be you. That would be enough for me.” She smiled at him, momentarily at a loss for words.

In response, she leaned in closer, pressing a soft, salty kiss to his lips. 

And she felt like she deserved it, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was.

She felt so, so loved.

hi!! this is how i feel daily lately and i am so scared of telling someone! but i hope you like it!

[subjectsix]

KIP'S BIG POST OF THINGS TO MAKE THE INTERNET & TECHNOLOGY SUCK A LITTLE LESS

Post last updated November 23, 2024. Will continue to update!

Here are my favorite things to use to navigate technology my own way:

A refurbished iPod loaded with Rockbox OS (Rockbox is free, iPods range in price. I linked the site I got mine from. Note that iPods get finicky about syncing and the kind of cord it has— it may still charge but might not recognize the device to sync. Getting an original Apple cord sometimes helps). Rockbox has ports for other MP3 players as well.

This Windows debloater program (there are viable alternatives out there, this one works for me). It has a powershell script that give you a little UI and buttons to press, which I appreciate, as I'm still a bit shy with tech.

Firefox with the following extensions: - Consent-O-Matic (set your responses to ALL privacy/cookie pop-ups in the extension, and it will answer all pop-ups for you. I can see reasons to not use it, but I appreciate it) - Facebook Container ("contains" Meta on Facebook and Instagram pages to keep it from tracking you or getting third party cookies, since Meta is fairly egregious about it) - Redirect Amp to HTML (AMP is designed for mobile phones, this forces pages to go to their HTML version) - A WebP/AVIF image converter - uBlock Origin and uBlacklist, with the AI blacklist loaded in to kill any generative AI results from appearing in search engines or anywhere.

Handbrake for ripping DVDs— I haven’t used this in awhile as I haven’t been making video edits. I used this back when I had a Mac OS

VLC Media Player (ol’ reliable)

Unsplash & Pexels for free-to-use images

A password manager (these often are paid. I use Dashlane. There are many options, feel free to search around and ask for recs!). There is a lot that goes into cybersecurity— find the option you feel is best for you.

Things I suggest:

Understanding Royalty Free and the Creative Commons licenses

Familiarity with boolean operators for searching

Investing in a backup drive and external drive

A few good USBs, including one that has a backup of your OS on it

Adapter cables

Avoiding Fandom “wikias” (as in the brand “Fandom”) and supporting other, fan-run or supported wikis. Consider contributing if its something you find yourself passionate or joyful about.

Finding Forums for the things you like, or creating your own*

Create an email specifically for ads/shopping— use it to receive all promotional emails to keep your inbox clean. Upkeep it.

Stop putting so much of your personal information online— be willing to separate your personal online identity from your “online identity”. You don’t owe people your name, location, pronouns, diagnoses, or any of that. It’s your choice, but be discerning in what you give and why. I recommend avoiding providing your phone number to sites as much as possible.

Be intentional

Ask questions

Talk to people

Remember that you can lurk all you want

Things that are fun to check out:

BBSes-- here's a portal to access them.

Neocities

*Forums-- find some to join, or maybe host your own? The system I was most familiar with was vbulletin.

MMM.page

Things that have worked well for me but might work for you, YMMV:

Limit your app usage time on your smartphone if you’re prone to going back to them— this is a tangible way to “practice mindfulness”, a term I find frustratingly vague ansjdbdj

Things I’m looking into:

The “Pi Hole”— a raspberry pi set up to block all ads on a specific internet connection

VPNs-- this is one that was recommended to me.

How to use computers (I mean it): Resources on how to understand your machine and what you’re doing, even if your skill and knowledge level is currently 0:

This section I'll come back an add to. I know that messing with computers can be intimidating, especially if you feel out of your depth. HTML and regedits and especially things like dualbooting or linux feel impossible. So I want to put things here that explain exactly how the internet and your computer functions, and how you can learn and work with that. Yippee!

[funnygirlthatbelle]

Okay so I was curious how many of these would actually be good/fun names so let’s rate em.

Alpha- I do not need to explain myself, 0/10

Bravo- this doesn’t really feel like a name, but there’s nothing wrong with it either, 5/10

Charlie- that’s just a nice, solid name, 8/10

Delta- my mind either goes to math, airlines, or covid variants, but it does have a nice ring to it, 4/10

Echo- this would be a very cool name, but I can see the jokes getting old fast, 7/10

Foxtrot- does not register as a name, but calling yourself Fox would be badass, 4/10

Golf- I only just realized that this was golf and not gulf and I’ve been working at an airport for the past two years, 1/10

Hotel- that is just a noun, and the nicknames wouldn’t even be good, 3/10

India- this is a name I’ve heard around, not my favorite but not bad either, 6/10

Juliet- a trans woman naming herself Juliet feels like such a classy power move, 10/10

Kilo- too easy for people to take this as an invitation to talk about weight, 2/10

Lima- certainly not a name I’ve heard before, but follows enough of naming patterns that it’s not gonna stick out as an obviously changed name, 6/10

Mike- I mean, it’s objectively a name, but you went through all the trouble of changing your name only to land on Mike? 5/10

November- I’ve never met a November, but month names are common enough that it would read as fun and unusual but still a name, 8/10

Oscar- a classic name that’s still relatively unique, prepare for the Wilde and the Sesame Street jokes, but I love it, 8/10

Papa- please do not make your name papa, 1/10

Quebec- there’s nothing wrong with this but it doesn’t spark joy for me or feel like a name, 5/10

Romeo- a solid choice, but I can see the jokes getting old really quickly, 7/10

Sierra- hell yeah, 9/10

Tango- by no means the worst of the nouns, but still not great, 4/10

Uniform- this is probably one of the worst nouns, 2/10

Victor- a classic name that doesn’t have an obvious joke attached, 10/10

Whiskey- if you’re down to make a strong impression, you definitely will if your name is whiskey, 5/10

X-ray- please do not name yourself after a form of medical testing, 0/10

Yankee- not that bad in terms of naming conventions, but feels way too ‘murica to be a good name, 1/10

Zulu- following normal naming conventions, this would be cute, but it’s also an ethnicity so that feels like a bad idea, 1/10

That puts our average nato alphabet name at right around a 5.5/10. So yeah, definitely an option to consider if you’re looking for a new name!

if you're transgender and need name ideas, may I direct you toward the nato alphabet because like. delta? november?? echo?? romeo is like the butchest name. please consider foxtrot. being named whiskey would be cool as hell. I know multiple transmascs who were a bit too into english lit and are named victor now. I've met people named sierra who were trans in every direction. maybe don't name yourself golf

[impactrueno]

just wanted to say thank you guys for the enthusiastic feedback on what i'm making, i mean it. the only two people who commented on my last one on bsky just wanted to know the name of the song 🫠

i was hoping to build a little suspense and make people react before i posted the other half of the segment but after getting those comments i'm like. oh ok. well. *deflating balloon noise*

i guess bsky isn't the best place for dramatic flair. bad news for me and the way i like to present my content lol

tumblr though? not to blow my horn but i mastered this technique on here many years ago 😤 and it's how i discovered how much i really enjoy telling a story that makes you feel emotions. i love seeing people react to it as it unfolds live in front of them. it's the best feeling ever. i'm not kidding when i say this is performance. it's THE reason why this storytelling method is my favorite.

it's also part of why i go radio silent while i'm doing certain scenes, i feel like me commenting anything about it would distract from the feeling i'm trying to evoke. i want people to be as immersed as i am.

but yeah thanks again for indulging me! it makes all the effort i've been putting into the little details so worth it

[thewritetofreespeech]

Can I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin celebrating his gn s/o's birthday please?

Astarion

In truth, Astarion has never celebrated a birthday before; or at least one he can remember in the past 200 years.

He of course knows about birthdays and what people usually do. Celebrations at the local taverns on such occasions were easy to pick off just…not the guest of honor. Astarion felt that would be tacky.

His gift would be something small. Memorable. A ring or necklace his love would always wear to think of him. And seeing them wear it make Astarion feel like he in turn finally has something of his own. Ending with a night of passion which, for once, he truly deeply means. Sweet words and all.

Gale

Gale would be planning for your birthday for months. Either in secret, or an attempt at keeping a secret because he’s just so excited.

He creates a new version of his Starlight incantation. One that is more reminiscent of their current living arrangements, but with hints of the forest where he first professed his love for them. A blend of the old and the new, to remember their past & look forward to the future, he said.

Besides the illusions, Gale makes them a very real dinner of their favorite meal and a cake to rival even some of the finest bakers in the Gate or the Deep. He also gives them a journal, hoping that it will be a comfort to them to write down their thoughts but also one day help with the novel on their adventures he’s going to write.

Wyll

Despite not celebrating many birthdays in recent years, Wyll actually loves them. He is of the opinion that every year, surviving, growing, and moving on in the world, should be celebrated.

The day would be spent more for quality time. Taking a (hopefully) peaceful walk. Maybe a little hunting for dinner, if they can’t find a tavern on the way. Gazing up at the stars as night falls, with Wyll pointing out his favorite constellations that are only visible this time of year (and therefore must be a gift for them from the gods themselves).

His gift would be a small blade he had fashioned for them. Naming it ‘the Protector of the Blade’s Heart’ since they are Wyll’s heart and this will protect them. They also get the finest rendition of ‘happy birthday’ an aspiring bard turned adventure his lungs can handle.

+Ascended!Astarion

Once he finds out when their birthday is, never really having asked before as it was of no interest to him until now, Astarion makes great effort to have it be the most memorable birthday ever. Everyone should be celebrating when his consort graced the universe with their beauty, and they should have a party that would dwarf all others in their past; now that they are at his side.

He throws a grand ball every year. Themed, perfectly executed, nobles & dark affiliates from all over come to pay tribute to them across Faerun.

It wasn’t until year’s later that they realize that the date had slowly changed from their birthday to their ‘new birthday’. The day they became a vampire.

First where there was one party, then two, now there is only one again for the new date.

Astarion insists, at first, that it’s just a fluke of scheduling. Too many meetings with his dark horde or aristocracy to make it work. Suddenly they are traveling during their birthday and can’t do the party.

Eventually, Astarion admits that your original birthday is pointless. “Why do you need to remember that when you have been reborn with this new life, my treasure?” And thus Astarion had successfully changed your birthday to your deathday, as it were.

[sleepystargaze]

On Caitlyn's 180: An Essay

This is all spoiler below. But I NEED to talk about it.

What if this is the exact moment Caitlyn puts everything together, including Vi being one of the children who burglarized Jayce's penthouse.

Hear me out.

So, Caitlyn asks Vi what she's doing there, and Vi says, "Trying to save my dad." She has this little "AHA!" moment.

(go look at the last panel of this gif set rn for more context)

That woman just had an epiphany. Furthermore, the way the music swells at this exact moment just feels like it's clueing in on more than meets the eyes.

She clearly realizes, at minimum, that her and Vi are here for the same thing: Warwick. And then doesn't even really question it. This got me to thinking, "but how she do that though?"

Well, she has all the information she needs to put it together, this is just the first time she's had a reason to pull that SPECIFIC information together.

Let's start with the fact that Caitlyn loves a mystery, and the rise of shimmer is a part of her favorite mystery.

Literally, in her giant bedroom, the only part of it that looks lived in is the big map at the foot of her bed. The show doesn't indicate when exactly this obsession started for Caitlyn, but it makes it clear that it's been on her mind for a very long time. Jayce called it "the great conspiracy," so she definitely talked about it a lot. And Jayce's flippant attitude tells us she's definitely been thinking about it since she was a teenager.

Educated guess, I believe this started with Sheriff Grayson's murder. (a) It would be unsurprising Caitlyn felt a great need to bring justice to the person that murdered someone she cared for. (b) It was a murder that would ultimately become a cold case. (c) Silco being the main conspirator to her murder, the trail would lead her to a larger conspiracy.

And from this scene above, we know that Vi is impressed with what Caitlyn was able to gather without ever going to the Undercity. Which means, we know her board was really close to the truth. Afterall, it did lead her to Vi, who single-handedly led her to the answers she sought.

So, why the hell does this matter in regards to Vi being involved in the burglary?

Caitlyn knows that Grayson's main priority at the time of her death was finding the culprits of the explosion.

Caitlyn's parents clearly involve her in the conversations revolving around the explosion at the penthouse. I don't feel it's a stretch to assume she also knew that the council were putting pressure on Grayson to solve the case.

The explosion of the warehouse happened on the same night as Grayson's murder. While I don't think Caitlyn had a way to really connect the 2 explosions except that they happen within days of each other, I doubt Caitlyn forgets this fact even if she does not connect them initially. 

Now you may being wondering why the heck that matters. What does the warehouse have anything to do with it?

Caitlyn was in the ruins of the destroyed warehouse at the end of season 1.

In which she heard this conversation.

Thing is, she was going through an extremely traumatic experience at the time... Then her mom was killed... So I doubt she realized it was the same place nor had the mental capabilities of processing the information. And by the time she did have the capacity to really consider it, she likely had no reason to...at least yet.

Regardless, she's here for this conversation. She now at least knows Vander's name and that he was important to them and that Silco murdered him here.

So, she has her connection here. If she realizes this was the location of the second explosion, she now knows that Grayson and Vander were murdered on the same night. And if she connects it to the penthouse explosion, Grayson's investigation and main focus at the time, she also knows that...

4 children were fleeing the scene.

Seems like everyone knew this within the hour after the explosion. Word spread so fast, Vander knew before the kids even got home. Caitlyn undoubtedly knows about the kids. She just doesn't know who they are, but she has seen them.

Caitlyn has an eye for detail and a mind for investigation. I doubt she lets much fall between the cracks. They didn't leave Ekko's home until it was dark. She had plenty of time to look at this mural, at the 4 children including Vi. Then at the tea party when Jinx starts talking to her hallucinations, she's pointed to...

Again, traumatic experience. Probably not thinking about it that hard, but she did see the puppets. Again, no reason to connect those things yet. But she does now have the context to connect that these 2 other children are important to Vi and Jinx and that they were important enough to be brought to the "tea party."

And because of the mural, she knows that these were real people and that they died.

FURTHERMORE, they undoubtedly know who Vander was by the reputation he left behind.

When that one guy getting tortured gave up Vander's statue as the meeting location, Ambessa's second-hand man, who is not from Zaun OR Piltover, knew exactly where that was. There's no way Caitlyn doesn't also know about the statue. Besides that, she also saw him in the mural. If she's seen this statue, she knows it's the same man.

Caitlyn would now know that Vander is important to the whole undercity. "Well respected."

Lastly, Singed told Ambessa about the man behind the monster.

This one is a bit of a stretch, but think about it. Ambessa has no reason to withhold the information Singed gave her. Here it is below if you want a reminder:

"He isn't a monster. He was once a man. Well respected, at that. Victim of great tragedy. He had a furocious will to live. An incredible tolerance for pain. With him, I was able to make strides impossible with any other specimen. But the mind... the mind I could not recover. The man forever lost in the bowels of the beast, compelled only by the scent of blood. Or so I thought. It now seems I had yet to uncover the right catalyst."

Singed is awfully forthcoming with information once he realizes he doesn't have to hide it from Ambessa. And when Caitlyn walks in on them in Singe's lab, Ambessa makes no effort to hide her current involvement with Singed. AND even if Ambessa realizes Singed is talking about Vander, I highly doubt Ambessa has the information necessary to realize she's literally delivering Caitlyn to a connection to not only Vi, but Jinx.

Caitlyn, however, does have all the information. If Ambessa or Singed told Caitlyn the same info or even more, Caitlyn could likely start making some assumptions on who the man behind the beast is.

She just didn't have a catalyst to put everything together... Again, yet.

And while we're on the topic of this scene...

We learn Caitlyn abhors a gap in information.

Caitlyn talks about the mystery of shimmer, "This led to one other missing puzzle piece whose absence has always gnawed at my mind."

She wants all the details even if it does not add much to the full picture.

She already knows Silco and the chembarons are responsible for the manufacturing and distribution of shimmer. Learning who made it only tells her who made it. It doesn't solve anything or change what she would have to do to stop the spread of shimmer. But she wants to know. She HAS to know.

She wants all the dots to connect and is not satisfied until they do.

So, when Vi says, "Trying to save... my dad."

What if this one sentence was all Caitlyn needs to connect everything she didn't understand before. I mean, how else do you explain that little "aha" head move she does.

There is no way she did not take a greater interested in how the heck Vi was involved to begin with and especially as a child.

Her main focus has been on Jinx: finding her and bringing her to justice. She's been distracted.

What if this is the catalyst, the first time she has a reason to connect all those dots to make what Vi said make sense. And suddenly it all does.

Honestly, it would explain why Caitlyn jumped ship so easily.

In conclusion.

Caitlyn has all the information she needs to connect the dots.

She has the motivations to continue seeking those answers.

She just didn't have the mental opportunity to really consider it... until she did.

Anyway... Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe one "Cupcake" is just not enough to convince me she'd immediately plan a mutiny, but maybe she is that simple! (She's definitely not. *coughs*)

But you know what, even if she didn't glean that Warwick is actually Vander and Vander is Vi's dad in that moment, she definitely knows after this...

So, anyway, I think she definitely knows or is at minimum primed to have the realization. Guess we'll see.

[wroughtwheat]

I also raise my favorite poem: “The Hangman” by Maurice Ogden

Similar message but paints more “I don’t know them, therefore I don’t care” realistic mindset. On top of the naive trust in authority, that the laws (regardless how justified) could never grow into corruption.

(Full poem below)

** Note: The word “hold” means “stand with another”

1.

Into our town the Hangman came

Smelling of gold and blood and flame—

And he paced our bricks with a diffident air

And built his frame on the courthouse square.

The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,

Only as wide as the door was wide;

A frame as tall, or little more,

Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.

And we wondered, whenever we had the time,

Who the criminal, what the crime,

The Hangman judged with the yellow twist

Of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

And innocent though we were, with dread

We passed those eyes of buckshot lead;

Till one cried: “Hangman, who is he

For whom you raise the gallows-tree?”

Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,

And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:

“He who serves me best,” said he,

“Shall earn the rope on the gallows-tree.”

And he stepped down, and laid his hand

On a man who came from another land.

And we breathed again, for another’s grief

At the Hangman’s hand was our relief.

And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn

By tomorrow’s sun would be struck and gone.

So we gave him way, and no one spoke,

Out of respect for his hangman’s cloak.

2.

The next day’s sun looked mildly down

On roof and street in our quiet town

And, stark and black in the morning air,

The gallows-tree on the courthouse square.

And the Hangman stood at his usual stand

With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;

With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike

And his air so knowing and businesslike.

And we cried: “Hangman, have you not done,

Yesterday, with the alien one?”

Then we fell silent, and stood amazed:

“Oh, not for him was the gallows raised . . .”

He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:

“ . . . Did you think I’d gone to all this fuss

To hang one man? That’s a thing I do

To stretch the rope when the rope is new.”

Then one cried “Murderer!” One cried “Shame!”

And into our midst the Hangman came

To that man’s place. “Do you hold,” said he,

With him that’s meant for the gallows-tree?”

And he laid his hand on that one’s arm,

And we shrank back in quick alarm,

And we gave him way, and no one spoke

Out of fear of his hangman’s cloak.

That night we saw with dread surprise

The Hangman’s scaffold had grown in size.

Fed by the blood beneath the chute

The gallows-tree had taken root.

Now as wide, or a little more,

Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,

As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,

Halfway up on the courthouse wall.

3.

The third he took—and we had all heard tell—

Was a usurer and infidel. And:

“What,” said the Hangman, “have you to do

With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?”

And we cried out: “Is this one he

Who has served you well and faithfully?”

The Hangman smiled: “It’s a clever scheme

To try the strength of the gallows-beam.”

The fourth man’s dark, accusing song

Had scratched out comfort hard and long;

And “What concern,” he gave us back,

“Have you for the doomed—the doomed and black?”

The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again:

“Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?”

“It’s a trick,” he said, “that we hangmen know

For easing the trap when the trap springs slow.”

And so we ceased and asked no more,

As the Hangman tallied his bloody score;

And sun by sun, and night by night,

The gallows grew to monstrous height.

The wings of the scaffold opened wide

Till they covered the square from side to side;

And the monster cross-beam, looking down,

Cast its shadow across the town.

4.

Then through the town the Hangman came

And called in the empty streets my name,

And I looked at the gallows soaring tall

And thought: “There is no one left at all

For hanging, and so he calls to me

To help him pull down the gallows-tree.”

And I went out with right good hope

To the Hangman’s tree and the Hangman’s rope.

He smiled at me as I came down

To the courthouse square through the silent town,

And supple and stretched in his busy hand

Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.

And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap

And it sprang down with a ready snap—

And then with a smile of awful command

He laid his hand upon my hand.

“You tricked me, Hangman!” I shouted then,

“That your scaffold was built for other men . . .

And I no henchman of yours,” I cried.

“You lied to me, Hangman, foully lied!”

Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye:

“Lied to you? Tricked you?” he said, “Not I.

For I answered straight and I told you true:

The scaffold was raised for none but you.”

“For who has served me more faithfully

Than you with your coward’s hope?” said he,

“And where are the others that might have stood

Side by your side in the common good?”

“Dead,” I whispered: and amiably,

“Murdered,” the Hangman corrected me;

“First the alien, then the Jew . . .

I did no more than you let me do.”

Beneath the beam that blocked the sky,

None had stood so alone as I—

And the Hangman strapped me, and no voice there

Cried “Stay!” for me in the empty square.

[hogwartsstudentconfidential]

Dear Students,

Miss me? It's been awhile hasn't it. I've been building up the gossip as well as the announcements, thanks to all of the messages I've received from you all. Suck it Quibbler, bet nobody dms you.

Anywho let's get into our announcements for the week as well as congratulate Gryffindor on their win in quidditch this past weekend, as well as a big good luck to Ravenclaw when they go against Slytherin next week.

Of course in good Hogwarts fashion, Gryffindor will be hosting a celebratory party in the common room this weekend, all are invited so make sure to dress up and let the drama unfold ;).

On another note I have been alerted about a surprise exam professor Sprout is planning on assigning her students so make sure to study, but only after the party of course.

As everyone knows winter season is approaching quickly which means Madame Pomfrey will be packed with sick students. The woman is already stressed enough with you reckless gits so please wash your hands and cover your mouths this year.

Now onto everybody's favorite part of this newspaper, the gossip:

Onto relationships, Congratulations to Pandora Rosier and Lucius Malfoy on their new relationship, the two are very cute together. However, has anyone else noticed the amount of flirting Lucius Malfoy does with other girls? If I were Pandora I’d keep an eye on my man.

Now the amount of messages I've received about Emmeline and Mary being, and I quite “SO gay for each other” is honestly insane. I mean, it's so obvious to everyone but them they're in love. Did you see the way they were whispering and giggling to each other at the firework show? Mary couldn't keep her eyes off the girl.

Now onto James Potter. The star quidditch player and prankster is well known around Hogwarts of course as well as his beautiful girlfriend Hestia. However a little Birdy has told me the loving boyfriend might not be so loyal. A lot of people have been suspecting the boy is in love with another. He disappeared the night of the fireworks to go get “snacks” by himself, refusing company and the only other person missing besides himself was none other than Regulus Black.

I have even received an interesting direct message for Mr Potter I will send out after this of course.

I've also been alerted of a possible tension growing between Marlene and Hestia, my supplier lacked on what type of tension so you take your pick. Do you think it's romantic or are the two girls about to give Hogwarts the best fight of the century? Let me know what you think.

Now back to Pandora, it seems as though she's made an enemy? The girl was recently questioned about a kiss between her and Xenophilus Lovegood. The girl immediately denied the rumor, her own boyfriend standing up for her, but he wasn't the only one. Xenophilus Lovegood also stood up for the girl, I suppose he is her friend but could there be something more? Lucius himself has even spoken of concern for where the girl's heart lies. Could a love triangle be brewing?

Onto some more exciting news, James Potter is handing out invitations for his mother's Christmas ball. This wonderful event is sure to be nothing but magical so if you receive an invite consider yourself lucky.

Oh and Remus Lupin's middle name is John.

Now before I sign out I’d like to say a little something. The Quibbler may be fun for little facts about creatures but it's hardly anything if the spelling is incorrect. Xenophilus Lovegood, it's best if you check your spelling and check it twice.

Thank you for reading this week's copy of Hogwarts Confidential and I will see you all next time. 💋

@emmelineandhervans @wormy-loves-ch33se @james-the-amazing-potter @marls-mckinn0n @andromedashoax @little-king-official @severusprince-snape @the-queen-bellatrix @thehotteststarr @lifeofthe-barty @mary-mcdeal @looneymoonyy @lilyevansoffical @xeno-graphical @pandoras-nox @oxxen--free @cas-not-the-band @flowers-of-narcissus @alicethekindone @malfoy-lu @mystical-magical-me @hjonesworld

[irohsteaa]

is it me or I think there is some misogyny within the monster fandom..i mean people treat Eva and Vera as the worst people in the wolrd when I can think of much worser characters,and they boil down Nina to "a nice girl" and ignore all her complexities,symbolism and narrative importance and say "she isnt that well developed and not important to plot"

Misogyny certainly plays a role here, it's esp. evident with how the fandom treats Eva (esp. before she grew as a character; and even after she grows, it's mostly about "she stopped harassing Tenma" and her relationship with Martin, while the more important thing here (imo)—how she started to take care of herself and stopped defining herself through the men in her life—is underdiscussed).

But I think it'd be reductive to say that the way the audience sees the women in Monster is only a result of misogyny; I think a crucial aspect here is the way the female characters are written and how they're treated by the male cast.

I think it's one of the many traps laid by Urasawa, traps that are very easy to fall into (which is perfectly understandable with a complex work filled with so many characters). I also fell into them: my first reaction to Eva was "oh, here we go again, female characters written by dudes" (yeah, Monster taught me to stop yapping about shit without 1) finishing it 2) looking at it carefully, because the devil is the details).

So what exactly are the traps built of?

Cliches

Subtle characterization and/or an apparent lack of information that shows in, for example, the namelessness or very little time on screen.

The fact that a large part of the story is the lack of a story.

Ad 1. I think a big part of Monster is the way it plays with cliches (and it does so boldly; it isn't afraid to introduce us to the most overused cliches and turn them into little storytelling gems), so of course there're also many female character cliches: the love interests, the damsels in distress, the naive & clueless woman, etc.

And when you don't pay attention, it's easy to think that these cliches are everything that can be told about these characters. When we stop here, we miss so many details that reveal the more complex character behind these cliches.

Ad 2. I think Nina is a perfect example of how the subtle characterization can leave many people thinking that she's underdeveloped, irrelevant to the plot, and just an addition to Tenma and Johan.

We also don't have access to her direct point of view, but I don't think it's necessary here and I think we don't have access to it for a very good reason; women are still seen mainly as caregivers, as people who serve others, and are socialized to be nice from a very young age. This can lead to ignoring one's own needs and, in consequence, losing yourself.

And Nina is a character who fits into this role perfectly; she's often shown serving others, bringing kindness where it's needed, being a beam of hope, etc. She's also very often overshadowed by her brother; she's referred to by other characters as "Johan's sister", as if this was the most important information about her.

Heck, Johan even takes away from her the monster title; the reasons behind it are, of course, ambiguous, but it doesn't change the fact that it was her who was kidnapped to the Red Rose Mansion and it was her whose memories were taken away.

And she's clearly upset when Johan tells her that it is his story to tell.

One of my favorite examples of her subtle characterization is the fact that in the beginning of the story, she wants to be a public prosecutor, and by the end, she wants to be a lawyer. It seems like a small change, but it tells a lot about how much her worldview changed.

When it comes to the namelessness and the little time on screen, a good example of it would be Věra. Please keep in mind that we only learn about her possible name in Another Monster; why do I say it's only possible? Because the only source of this name is one person interviewed by Weber, and the person identified Věra via a sketch. I wouldn't call this the most reliable source.

But let's get back to the main topic; what's the reason behind both the lack of a name and the little time on screen? It's Bonaparta.

Bonaparta doesn't let us see much of her, he doesn't let us learn her real name. But even when we see so little of her, we can still see someone compelling and complex, we see a wide range of emotions, we see her determination, we see who she could be if it wasn't for her circumstances, we see her deep guilt and fragility by the end of the story, we see someone who Bonaparta initially dismissed ("you are a funny woman" etc.) only to end up obsessed with her.

But since it's only a matter of a few panels and she's mainly discussed by other characters as the mother of the twins, it's easy for the audience to a) see her as a bad mother, b) think she's unfairly treated by the manga.

I don't think she's treated unfairly by the manga, I think she's one of the most important characters in Monster and it isn't merely because she's the mother of the twins, it's because we can see so much of her in other Monster characters: in the nameless, the dismissed, the robbed of a better future, the reduced to a certain role, all the characters we simply do not know a thing about their minds and that quite possibly, behind the awful clichés, there were in them gardens and twilights, and palace gates.

(I tried to stop myself from babbling about Lolita, but it's not my fault the quote fits so well here.)

Ad 3. I mentioned the lack of the story partially in Ad 2., but there are so many other examples: the little girl who lives with Hugo Bernhardt, Richard Braun's daughter and wife, Lunge's daughter and wife (the difference between how Richard sees his family vs. how Lunge sees his family is shown in the narration as well), Martin's mother and girlfriend etc.

Thanks for the ask! ‎(^人^)

[ashlynnfall]

group project with jayce and vi - arcane x reader

summary: blurb about you being stuck with vi and jayce for a group project

tags: arcane fluff (because we deserve it after this show), no spoilers (but mentions of s2 scenes and characters), silly, stupid, reader insert, school au, no trauma au, hextech exists in this world, somewhat ooc vi and jayce

warnings: cussing

word count: about 2.4k

a/n: this is inspired by the current vi and jayce accomplishing nothing memes. i love that joke so much, so i decided to write a little story about it! also jinx remains as powder in this since no tragedy has happened. this is my first fic ever, so any advice on how to be a better writer would be greatly appreciated! thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoy <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------it's your favorite class about your favorite subject full of your favorite people, so what could go wrong?

literally everything, apparently.

your teacher, mr. heimerdinger, announces a group project to the class. soon after, everyone chatters in excitement because you all like each other, so no matter what, you'll all end up with a good group. he starts calling names and organizing people into groups of three. as the options for your group narrow down, you look around to see who hasn't been called yet.

vi...ekko...ooh mel would be great for this, you think to yourself as you survey the crowd.

"mel, ekko, and caitlyn! you're a group," heimerdinger calls out, causing you and the class to frown.

"ugh, talk about unfair," one student murmurs.

"viktor, skylar, and elora, you're a group."

the options keep getting smaller, and as you look to see who hasn't been grouped yet, a horrible realization hits you. all that's left is you, vi, and...

no.

"jayce," heimerdinger says.

stop it now.

"vi."

this isn't happening.

to your dismay, heimerdinger calls your name. you turn to look at vi and jayce who are sitting next to each other, currently celebrating the pair up.

"hell yeah!" vi exclaims, raising a hand up to high five jayce. jayce enthusiastically moves his hand to hers-

and misses her hand.

seriously, how do you miss an unmoving target?

you watch as these bumbling fools try two more times before they can actually hit the high five.

you've got to be fucking kidding me.

jayce talis, the golden boy of the grade. he's a genius inventor with incredible ideas that will take him far in life. known to be smart and charismatic, most people would love to be grouped up with him for any assignment. as one of heimerdinger's star pupils, being his partner should be good news right?

wrong.

vi, the cool girl of the grade. she's not the most academically gifted person, but she does all of her work and tries her hardest to contribute to the group. she's known to be an amazing fighter and has a gift for making people feel better. rumor has it that caitlyn kiramman once went on a total rampage after losing her mother's expensive necklace. she was a raging asshole for a week, spewing mean things to anyone who stood in her way. vi was out sick for that week, so there was no one to console caitlyn.

when vi returned to school, she called caitlyn "cupcake" one time, causing her to switch sides immediately, reverting back to the sweet girl she's known to be. oh, and vi found the necklace too!

so a team up between a boy genius and a girl with a big heart should be amazing news. however, despite all of their incredible traits, when jayce and vi work together, all of that shit disappears.

they've been paired up together for projects before, and they're the only ones who love this match up. everyone else reacts in horror.

they're always onto absolutely nothing, cooking up plans and ideas that fail so miserably, it's almost impressive. during a lesson on hextech, they had the simple task of using a comically large hammer to aim and hit a target. the hammer was too big for vi to hold alone, so they used the power of friendship to hold it up together. they aimed for the target, and shot a blast.

it completely missed.

in fact, they missed so bad, that it ended up shooting through a window, resulting in it completely shattering. students had to dive for cover from flying glass shards. this prompted a severe tongue lashing from a very angry heimerdinger, who now had to pay for window repairs and do paperwork.

there was another time where they were sparring with some older classmates, got way too into the fight. they were in the middle of hyping each other up when a kid accidentally got in the way of their brawl. they totally knocked him on his ass, the poor thing got sent straight to the ground.

he recovered soon after, but he went home with a bloody nose the day of the impact. jayce was the one who dealt the punch, so he was wracked with guilt for the child he just injured. he sent the family some flowers as an apology, to which the mom responded with dead roses and a note saying: "eat shit".

he is not popular in that family.

knowing you're in for a disaster, you accept your fate, and walk over to a beaming jayce and vi. they are so excited to be partnered up with you, and it would be sweet sight if they weren't, well, them.

"this project is due next class, so please decide on a time outside of school to complete this. we have a lecture to finish," heimerdinger instructs.

vi offers her house, to which you and jayce agree. you're supposed to meet there about four hours from now, which isn't nearly enough time for you to prepare for the bullshit.

here we go.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

four hours later, you're knocking on vi's door, trying to calm your already spiked nerves. it swings open to reveal a small girl with two blue braids.

"hi!" powder exclaims as she wraps you into a tight hug. it's been a while since you've seen vi's little sister, and you're relieved to know that at least one person in this house has sanity.

the two of you catch up for a bit while you wait for vi to bring you upstairs. powder tells you about her little crush on ekko, rambling happily about their adventures while you laugh at their antics.

ten minutes pass and vi still hasn't come down to get you, so now you're annoyed. that annoyance quickly turns into concern as a loud bang from upstairs shakes the entire house.

what the hell?

you and powder rush upstairs to see what the commotion is about. nearly ripping vi's bedroom door off its hinges in fear, you two run inside to make sure everyone's alright.

you look at the scene with disappointment as you see dumb and dumber standing in shock, eyes directed to the damage they just created. there's a giant dent in the floor, no doubt made by the hammer in jayce's hand. vi's giant gauntlets are at her side, which leads you to infer that they were sparring before the impact.

jayce is always doing some type of extreme damage with that hammer, you facepalm as you take in the scene.

you give them both a withering glare then yell at their foolishness.

"you idiots do realize that we're supposed to improve the hextech, not destroy buildings with it, right?"

powder runs downstairs to tell uncle vander what happened, and you sigh in frustration while the other two carefully set their weapons onto the ground.

"sooo...we should get started on the project now, yeah?" jayce offers as his hand rubs the back of his neck, clearly trying to fix the mood.

you let out an exasperated sigh.

"yeah, let's get started."

vi and jayce add another disastrous duo moment to their record. you've lost count of all their failures at this point.

during the entire project, they say stupid ideas or do reckless things. jayce swings the hammer around with zero regard for his surroundings, and laughs whenever vi sticks up her middle finger in the gauntlets. whenever one of them says something that sounds remotely smart, the other one says, "EXACTLYYYYY."

"do you think if we wrap the hammer in foam, we can prevent it from breaking things?" vi asks jayce, who shoots her a look of disbelief.

"you can't be serious," he responds in a critical tone.

you nearly jump for joy as you watch their interaction. for the first time ever, there's hope that one of them will finally be smart in the other one's presence.

"we should wrap it in air pillows, not foam. regardless, that's a great idea! we should test it out," jayce enthuses as he reaches for the hammer.

your hope shatters into a million pieces, just like that window they destroyed.

"no, no, no, no, no!" you interject as you swat his hand away, preventing them from causing more destruction.

"what crawled up your ass today?" jayce asks, offended by your behavior.

"heimerdinger's foot definitely did because you keep screwing up on his exams. don't hate on us because you have a D in this class," vi insults as she completely airs out your business in front of jayce.

jayce yells "OHHHHH" in response, then goes to dap up vi for flaming you. putting your head in your hands, you practice deep breathing so you don't completely lose your shit. it's not your fault that runes and hex crystals are so confusing!

uncle vander stops by shortly after the argument to inspect the damage, loses his mind, then goes to call uncle silco for assistance. you, vi, and jayce continue the project and pretend like vander isn't infuriated with all of you. you didn't even do anything but you still get wrapped up in this mess.

halfway through the project, vi gets a facetime call from caitlyn, to which she immediately responds. if you had a dime for every time vi called her "cupcake", you'd be a millionaire.

things get even more annoying when jayce gets a facetime call from mel, who he also immediately responds to. your friends yap to their girlfriends while you continue working on the project, silently reflecting on how terrible your luck is.

despite their annoying tendencies and horrific performance as a duo, they're somewhat helpful during the project. jayce uses his hextech knowledge to create solid ideas for improving the weapons. the secret to getting him to be his genius self? tell vi she isn't allowed to speak or be in the room while he works. you gave the same rule to jayce when it was vi's turn to contribute, and she actually came up with solid ideas for weapon functionality and protection.

turns out, separating them is a brilliant idea. you mentally pat yourself on the back for your effective plan.

the three of you finish the project and decide to do a movie night in celebration. jayce and vi miraculously land a high five first try, which makes you smile. they then take turns giving you a high five, making your smile wider. the pair gets too confident and tries to do a complicated handshake, which per usual, goes terribly.

jayce accidentally smacks vi (how does this even happen?), and vi punches his arm in return. the two playfully duke it out while you pull out your phone to record them for your private story. you caption the video "mfs when they horrifically fumble a situationship".

when they finish the fight, you realize you can't be their babysitter anymore. desperate to not be stuck with the moron brigade, you ask to invite the rest of the friend group, and vi agrees, complimenting you for coming up with a great idea.

"it's pretty easy to have great ideas when you two are full of terrible ones," powder shouts from the kitchen.

even though vi is taller, older, and arguably stronger, she is always getting destroyed by powder in a verbal battle. it's what makes their dynamic so amazing. vi opens her mouth to shout something back, but you put your hand on her shoulder and shake your head, letting her know it's no use arguing back.

about thirty minutes later, you're sitting in the living room with vi, jayce, mel, caitlyn, ekko, viktor, skylar, elora, powder and her new friend isha, claggor, and milo. you all watch a comedy movie to unwind from the stress of the day, and soon become thoroughly entertained by the movie's ridiculous humor. jayce and vi throw popcorn at each other, which annoys everyone. knowing there was no stopping them, you and mel make a bet on who will win. you choose vi and she chooses jayce like a supportive girlfriend.

mel slides you a crisp five dollar bill halfway through the movie.

as you sit and watch, surrounded by your friends who are full of the happiness and light that they deserve, you decide that maybe a group project with vi and jayce didn't turn out to be such a bad thing after all.

the hangout is full of jokes, silly arguments, laughs, and unbridled joy. even vander and silco stop by to check in on everyone from time to time, smiling at each other as they reminisce about their days as students. whenever those two enter the room, vi and jayce's bodies go rigid with stillness, trying to attract as little attention as possible from the angry set of uncles.

it was an amazing night of bonding with your friends and basking in the comfort of good company. you make a mental note to plan more of these, hoping to give your friends the enjoyment they deserve. when the movie ends, everyone gets off the couches to clean up as they discuss their thoughts on the movie. vi approaches you with a big grin on her face, then has the audacity to deliver the following line:

"this was so fun, the three of us should totally be partners again!"

since you're in such high spirits, you consider giving jayce and vi another chance. maybe they aren't all that disastrous, and maybe, just maybe, they can prove to be a competent duo-

"totally! for our next project we should try seeing how powerful a hextech blast can get! maybe we should go to the park and shoot it into the sky?" jayce schemes while vi's face lights up in excitement at the prospect of another hextech hangout.

never mind, you roll your eyes and mentally chastise yourself for even thinking of giving this another shot. these morons couldn't find a way out of their own asses if they were handed a map.

you fervently shut down their plan before they try making any more.

"absolutely not."

jayce and vi are definitely going down in history as one of the worst duos of all time.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

As we’re facing the next COVID surge (brought on by holiday travel), I thought I might try a different kind of COVID post. You can skip to here for some easy to do tips and tricks you might have missed, or you can read down for my discussion of why this is important.

I have recently been writing and thinking a lot about why so many of my friends and family’s actions on COVID are so different from mine. Namely why so many people I know no longer seem very interested in either preventing themselves from being sick or, importantly, not spreading sickness to anyone else.

In my own case, the experience of staying home to stop the spread in 2020 forced me to strongly reconsider my behavior up to that point. Why had I ever thought it was OK to go to work or ride the subway with the flu, unmasked and taking no precautions, knowing that the flu certainly hospitalizes and kills people each year? Even if the flu was no big deal for my body, my behavior had limited other people—particularly disabled people—from comfortably being in public during flu season. I had knowingly spread around an illness. I radically reconsidered a lot of my behavior, and in particular, 2020 pushed me to focus more specifically on disability justice in my activism. A disability justice framework pushes us beyond thinking about individual access to consider how ableism limits us all from liberation.

Getting back to why this reconsideration didn’t happen on a mass level, understanding disability justice also means understanding that ableism is the current social order. And if it’s the order of the day, like other oppressive ideologies, that means we are all drenched in it and it is impossible to avoid ever doing something ableist. Furthermore, most people are going to act in ableist ways, most of the time. None of this are exempt from this, but not even trying is definitely worse!

I am also well aware that good COVID information is hard to come by, especially if you are not on the regular lookout for it. And if you do go looking for it, it can quickly get overwhelming. So I’d like to offer here a very short, distilled list of things people might have missed since 2020. (I’ve not taken the time to track down citations for all of these things; you’ll have to trust me that I got them from trustworthy sources or you can verify on your own. I’m happy to give more info on any of these too.)

Some of these things are easy enough to do. I’m offering this list because from a “stop the spread” mindset, each specific thing you do is helpful. This list is not meant to be comprehensive, and it’s hopefully not overwhelming. You don’t have to be perfect or avoid COVID 100% of the time or make this part of your identity, but I’d like to ask everyone reading this to take one step up in your mitigations for the holiday season, since this is reliably a time with huge increases in virus transmission. With around a thousand people still dying every week from COVID in the US, you don’t know whose life you may save by being a little more careful.

Masking This is the biggest bang for your buck, precaution-wise. If it’s hard for you to mask all the time in public, consider masking in places that disabled people really can’t avoid, like the pharmacy, the grocery store, and on public transportation.

I’d also suggest that if masks are uncomfortable, try different kinds of masks! The Aura is my favorite mask – it’s tight to my face so my glasses don’t fog and head straps don’t hurt my ears like ear straps do. Wellbefore sells masks in different sizes and colors, and Armbrust has sampler packs. Just try a bunch and see what works for you!

Finally, know that if at all possible, you should wear an N95 or KN95 mask. This is a change since spring 2020 because the current variants of COVID are more contagious.

Mouthwash Washing your mouth out with a mouthwash containing CPC (cetylpyridinium chloride) before or after seeing people, or just regularly, will kill some of the virus in your mouth and keep you below the threshold to get sick and/or shed the virus to others. This is a really easy one; CVS brand mouthwash has CPC.

Sip mask These valves will allow you to drink without breaking the seal of your mask. This is great for airplane travel, crowded conferences, or other risky spaces that you need to be in for an extended amount of time.

Airplane The most dangerous time on an airplane from a virus transmission standpoint is the time sitting on the runway (because of the way they circulate and filter the air onboard). Even if you don’t mask up during the flight, this is the best time to mask. (And if you do mask, this is the worst time to have a snack or drink – try to keep your mask on for all of this period.)

Space out risky or crowded events Don’t go to a wedding and a concert in the same weekend! Illness takes 3-5 days to develop after exposure, so give yourself time to know if you got sick from the last thing before potentially spreading that to the next thing.

Air purifiers work! This is a great one for places that you can’t avoid, like school, work, or daycare. You can make your own Corsi-Rosenthal box, but there’s also a variety of high quality air purifiers you can get for $70-100. You want to make sure it has a HEPA or Merv13+ filter on it, and check how quickly it changes out the air in a room. Since COVID is airborne, there can be COVID in a space even after the person has left it. Setting up air purifiers and/or opening windows until enough air has circulated before you remove your mask is a great way to make a space COVID safer

Test before going to events, even if you don’t feel sick Rapid tests (the kind you’re used to getting from the government and at the drug store) False negatives from these are rampant but a positive test reliably means you have COVID. The accuracy of these tests also increases a LOT if you take two of them 48 hours apart.

Better home tests are now available Metrix and Pluslife are both testers you can buy that offer a similar level of accuracy to a PCR test (that is, very accurate!). These devices are expensive, but so is another COVID infection: think of the missed work, cost of Paxlovid, and potential for Long COVID to keep you down even longer.

It’s a good idea to get an updated vaccine 2x a year too; like the flu shot, these vaccines are updated to try to fend off the particular variants that are circling. Be mindful though that vaccination will not necessarily stop transmission, especially of asymptomatic cases. Handwashing is also good for general prevention, but it doesn’t really stop COVID transmission. In the early days of COVID, researchers guessed that it was spread by physical droplets. That’s why we were instructed to wash our hands and groceries. But now we know that COVID is airborne; it spreads more like cigarette smoke than spit!

Of course, no single thing works perfectly. The best model is still the Swiss cheese model, but that also means each thing you do helps. If you’re reading this, please consider doing *one more thing* to take care of yourselves and others. I love you

[notmorbid]

all-night pharmacy.

dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.

you're so alive, it's scary.

being a person doesn't come naturally for me.

what's the deal with this place?

you are my best and my worst friend.

are we horrible people?

i like the idea of having someone to come home to.

i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.

these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.

the less you know about my life, the better.

everyone here is a liar and a cheat.

you deserve to have a life of your own.

a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.

all relationships are transactional.

no one should have that much power over you.

it isn't too late to come back.

you're uninvited from my birthday party.

i love you, but you're such a cunt.

who do you think you are?

forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.

i know you're in there. let me in.

jesus. why do you have a knife?

what happened last night?

it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.

maybe i'm not the mothering type.

i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.

i need a break from feeling so much all the time.

sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.

whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.

this is the most i can imagine for myself.

if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.

you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.

all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.

it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.

i've never had a day of rest in my life.

i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.

you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.

i can't play house anymore.

never say that name in front of me.

to you, other people are always the problem.

you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.

want to make fifty bucks?

the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.

you don't think we'll get caught?

our loyalty is to story, not reality.

just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.

i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.

our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.

speaking our fears aloud won't save us.

one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.

i try not to think about my life at all.

a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.

your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.

boundaries? i don't know her.

i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.

you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.

think of me as a spiritually connected friend.

i know liars. you don't strike me as one.

you have iconically poor judgment.

has anyone ever told you about your past lives?

you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.

friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.

i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.

you make me want to feel things again.

criticism is still a cousin of attention.

you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.

i know you crave being told what to do.

you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.

you have desires. act on them.

bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?

i thought i had quit you.

my favorite. how did you know?

i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.

how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.

i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.

sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.

you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.

that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.

where will all the animals go in the rapture?

a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.

my little saint.

time passes more slowly as a sober person.

you'd better not pull away from me now.

there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.

you wear your emotions like a name tag.

your resting face frightens me.

how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?

i need you to just be here with me.

our dead deserve to see you happy.

i like the idea of being marked by you.

i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.

i know what i saw.

i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.

i can't believe you're mine.

nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.

you're cute when you're freaked out.

sex is supposed to be unsettling.

there are things i need to atone for.

you can't go back like it's nothing.

i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.

___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.

count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.

banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.

i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.

you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.

you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.

i've been reading about intergenerational curses.

resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.

anything you say stays between us.

i can't decide if i like you.

most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.

will it get easier?

hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.

i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.

in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.

why are you here? where have you been?

how did you know i'd come looking for you?

you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.

i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.

you were supposed to protect me.

there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.

i wouldn't have looked for me, either.

we belong to ourselves now.

you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.

when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.

survival is provisional.