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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 4 years

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IPKKND & Angst - Top 9 Scenes

Angst: A feelings of anxiety and frustration that isn’t specific.

In the serial verse, this is exactly why “kyun dard hai itna, tere ishq main?” (why does it hurt to be in love with you?)

Words fall short to praise the writers, actors, production team for the moment they were able to express anguish and sentiments through the facade of denial and ignorance.

“Angst is not the human condition, it’s the purgatory between what we have and what we want but can’t get.” ― Miguel Syjuco, Ilustrado

1. The first promo. Nafrat paas aane na de, mohabbat door jaane na de. This is angst, personified. 2. She tells she’s leaving for Lucknow, forever. He hears she’s leaving him, forever. (S1, E45) 3. He tells her it’s his engagement, and whether it happens or not, how does it matter to her? She tells that it doesn’t matter, with tears stinging her eyes. (S4, E10) 4. When he compels her to marry him. And she agrees. (S6, E4 - S6, E8) 5. When he passionately dances with his wife. The woman he supposedly hates. (S6, E33) 6. "Khushi, please stop crying. Khushi I... I love you.” (S7, E27) 7. “That I love you damnit!” (S8 , E30)

8. “No, Arnav ji will come. I have faith in him. Today is our wedding.” (S9, E30 - S10, E2) 9. “Arnav and Khushi will always stay together.” (S10, E30)

Read more for in-depth thoughts.

“Nafrat paas aane na de, mohabbat door jaane na de.”

“Hate prevents us from growing closer, love forbids us from growing apart.”

This promo had me hook, line and sinker. It was refreshing to watch a rich romance drama, sans any fanciness, that delved deep into symbolism and almost added a sense of forbidden in their love story. In the first image the power play - the financial and status difference is highlighted (brilliant framing) because Khushi literally looks up to Arnav, him unaware of her. And you’re sure that this might be an innocent love, a hidden attraction that is not returned.

Yet, once Arnav leaves the elevator (and is aware that no one is looking at him), he turns to catch a glimpse of her. So he was aware, very much so, of her gaze. And boy oh boy, the feelings aren’t just returned - they’re intensified! And it’s this continuous push and pull that sets the course of IPKKND. She is wary of his approach, but does not believe his arrogance is all to him. He rebuffs her, but is always pained by her despair.

She wishes to love him, despite his apparent flaws. He wishes to hate her, despite her apparent perfection.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate that the shadows of rain fall on her, putting the torn photograph together. She treasures it and holds it against her heart, her eyes wide, afraid and lost.

While he is in the middle of nowhere, drenched in rain, holding a photograph in his hands. Unable to look more, he crumples the photograph, his eyes tightly shut as if he’s crushing something that’s causing him immense pain.

*chef’s kiss to this promo*

What does a person want apart from two rich characters in a rich storyline with rich layering? You are not just invested in the day the confess their love to each other, rather the journey that takes them there.

*dreamy sigh*

"Nafrat hai na aapko humse? Humari aukaad se? Humari shakal nahi dekhna chahte hai na aap? Toh khushi ho jaiye, hum aapki nazron se hamesha ke liye door jaa rahe hai. Lucknow jaa rahe hai hum, hamesha ke liye.” (S1, E45)

“So you hate me? My status? You don’t want to see my face, right? Then rejoice! I’m going to be out of your sight, forever. I’m leaving for Lucknow, forever.”

This sounds like a woman wobbling on the edge of feelings for a man. And it awfully sounds like a breakup (which is funny because the story hasn’t even started, or technically it did when their eyes met?)

One of the most interesting thing about this exchange is the way Khushi words her departure. She never says “I hate you,” or “I am leaving with my family to go back home,” or “my stay in Delhi has come to an end.” It’s almost like as if she lived in Delhi all along as was leaving to a new city because of him.

Her departure is attached to his hatred. To her, her status, her face - three things that has hurt Khushi the most. She literally says that she’s going away from his sight, forever.

It’s no wonder Arnav hears something else, that she’s not going home, she’s leaving him. In most waysIPKKND has been heavily biased to Arnav’s point of view - so when she declares the bg score quickly shifts to a soft, instrumental Rabba Ve.

The impact? His world stops for a second and he literally just says one thing, trying to get a hold of her, “Khushi, you can’t leave like this. Khushi!”

This conversation haunts Arnav till no end. He spends every moment henceforth playing everything wrong that he did with her.

This episode is my favorite because their inner struggles are so visible.

When Lavanya asks Arnav if he loves her the way she is, Arnav looks at Khushi’s desk and says “Yes, I like you the way you are.”

This is the first time Arnav and Khushi develop their sixth sense towards the other - something that manifests deeply over the months to come. Khushi tells herself not to look at Arnav but she does, and is unable to look away. Her feet gives away at his voice, her logic abandons her (talk about pushing a door outward when it opens inward).

When Shyam, over the phone, tells her how much he thinks about her she’s immediately alarmed until he covers his words. With Arnav she’s not afraid of the physical intensity but of his anger, definitely his anger.

It’s the first time Arnav sees how much he affects her, negatively as well.

And their romantic, delicate moments is a scene stealer. Her self respect does not allow him to take his extended hand. His awareness of her pulls him to return her dupatta to him, a gesture that means so much. When they’re both quiet, something else happens altogether.

And then both are disturbed by the thoughts of each other. She’s stunned by his softness. She had noticed when he stopped his rant. And the first woman Arnav thinks of when Anjali tells her about love is Khushi. It’s his anger and personality that prevents Khushi from thinking more about Arnav.

And it’s also his personality and beliefs (that are now on very shaky grounds) that stop Arnav from accepting the corner of his heart that has, unexpectedly, softened for Khushi. He only allows himself to completely think of her when he’s alone.

*double dreamy sigh - eating butter popcorn for the sigh*

“Khushi meri sagai ho ya na ho, kal ho ya ek saal baad ho, tumhe usse kya farak padta hai?” (S4, E10)

“Khushi, whether I get engaged or not, whether it’s tomorrow or the next year, how does it matter to you?”

The first thing that Khushi replies if, “Why should it matter to me if it’s your engagement?”

It’s not a no. It’s a question she asks him in turn. What does he expect? Why is he asking her this? Why… when it’s too late? And she quickly covers it up with “No, it makes no difference.”

It’s a lie. The minute she looks at him she knows he knows it’s a lie. Big props to the background scorers. We know the question hits Khushi hard because it’s the question she has been avoiding all along. We know that even though Arnav knows it’s a terribly hidden lie, he cannot help being hurt - a big credit to the soft, painful background score apart from the fantastic actors.

And when Khushi justifies her actions with scattered sentences and tears stinging her eyes, Arnav knows the truth. She knows the truth. And they both wait for the other to acknowledge it. And they both know neither can do so.

The most beautiful, painful and almost tragic part of this scene is that they’re both completely aware and struggling with the weight of their denial. His desperation, perhaps, is a mirror image to Khushi’s desperation when she wanted to know why he nearly kissed her on Diwali. But his desperation is also triggered by the fact that she is engaged to another man.

One might also wonder that once she can validate her emotions, perhaps break her loveless engagement (which he correctly assumes is forced), then he might get the strength to break his? One might also wonder that Khushi, at this point, has lost all hope for whatever it was between them - yet at his prodding she can only hope if he can ever speak up his mind. And his inability to do so pushes him farther away from her.

One of the loveliest things about Arnav and Khushi is that they can be interpreted a thousand ways. In one way Arnav’s fury post that scene does not really come from him believing that he does not matter, but rather on her denial. And he’s clearly not thinking clearly. Not ever since he learned her engagement. And Khushi, on the other hand, seems to have accepted her gloomy future, and seems to be sinking onto the thorn she has held onto.

If you see one of the promo posters, the creatives modified it to Khushi holding a thorned rose that injures her hand (so it’s bleeding) but her gaze is transfixed to the man behind her who’s staring at her too.

I think that is Arnav and Khushi’s journey. Poetic tragedy.

A story you’re almost afraid will not have a happy ending. A story where everything wrong happens. So it’s only a bigger pay off that they do end up together, in their happily ever after.

And honestly, Khushi’s refusal to accept her feelings post their marital status kind of prevents Khushi from seeming immoral or as the ‘third’ woman in Lavanya’s life. Also - I love Anjali at this time who is really the only person constantly worried about Khushi’s lack of happiness for her impending wedding. Not even Lavanya senses Khushi’s despair.

*I always, always tear up at this scene.*

“Haan ya na? Haan, ya na!” (S6, E4 - S6, E8)

“Yes or no? Yes, or no!”

The elopement episodes legit kill me. It’s so painful, and it’s painful because it was avoidable! And it’s all built of misunderstandings! There’s so much regret and what ifs that stem from here that this phase alone has inspired so many fan fictions across the world.

This moment reminds me of Shakespeare’s Othello on how Desdemona was painted as a lose woman by a jealous Iago. And convinced the Othello who had loved his wife endlessly that she was having an extra marital affair with Othello’s best friend and right hand man, Casio.

In IPKKND, Casio and Iago is built into one Shyam Manohar Jha - a man Arnav trusts immensely. A man so manipulative that it’s almost impossible to believe his vile side until we see it ourselves. It often makes me wonder what if we, the audience, never saw the conniving side of Shyam Manohar Jha? It’s frightening to realize that like Anjali, a lot of us might have had difficulty to understand what could be the truth.

There are so many reasons why this episode hurt. Khushi expected a proposal. Arnav wanted to propose. And it wouldn’t just be a confession of love, it would be marriage - it was hinted all along with the mehendi, haldi, new bangles for a bride to be and his duty as a damaad to look after his in laws’ relatives. He had behaved so innately as if he were already married to Khushi that it hurt to see their dreams of marriage come true, as a nightmare.

The push and pull between pain, empathy, betrayal is heartbreaking. Also, I believe it is also one of the few television shows to completely highlight the reason for a sudden, forced marriage. Yes, Arnav technically ‘gains’ agency of Khushi by claiming her as his wife - but that is never physical.

To be physically close to her is what they both wanted and dreamed off so it’s the first thing he shatters between him and Khushi. They wouldn’t be in the same side of the room, forget the bed.

Barun and Sanaya’s performance is impeccable in these sequences. Arnav’s constant shift from a cold, calculative monster a man whose heart breaks on his beloved’s tears is so visible. Khushi’s disbelief, to heartbreak to helplessness and ultimate ruin pulls the most of us to run and hug her for the longest time.

When Arnav asks Khushi to marry him, the pose is romantic - with her pressed against him, dressed in the similar shades - much like how they had danced a few nights ago. But it’s all a nightmare, the green tint adds the feeling of nausea, despair and gloom.

Of course, most of the anger shifts to an Arnav who torments Khushi endlessly for the months to come but most of my hatred at this point is fixed on Snake Jha instead. That man, singlehandedly, destroyed the most beautiful relationship out of his own villainy.

And if there’s anything I’m unsatisfied with in this serial, it’s how Arnav and Khushi never end up punishing Shyam directly for ruining their individual lives (and for perennially harassing Khushi over a period of seven months).

When he passionately dances with his wife. The woman he supposedly hates. (S6, E33)

“Bheegi bheegi si hai raatein bheegi bheegi

Yaadein bheegi bheegi baatein bheegi bheegi

Aankhon mein kaisi nami hai,

Aa ha ha ha ... aa ha

Sapnon ka saya palkon pe aaya

Pal mein hasaya pal mein rulaya

Phir bhi yeh kaisi kami hai

Aa ha ha ha ... aa ha Na jaane koi kaisi hai yeh zindagani, zindagani

Hamari adhuri kahani.”

The nights are drenched, so are the memories, the conversations. My eyes are strangely damp. A shadow of my dreams flashed before my eyes. It made me laugh, it made me cry. And yet, there’s something missing. No one knows what this life is. The one of our incomplete story.

This is the song that ran in my head when I watched them dance, painfully similar to way they danced when they were deep in love, in their Teri Meri. The steps are hauntingly same, but the emotions are vastly different.

For me in this moment Khushi is taken aback at her own feelings. She was so sure she had killed every memory, every feeling of that fateful night when he had danced straight from her fantasies into her heart. And boy she was wrong - those feelings rose back with a vengeance.

And for Arnav, it’s funny how the dance almost seems like a move to claim Khushi for himself, to exercise his possessive right over her in front of that vile Snake.

Once they start dancing though, everything fades away apart from the burning intensity they have for each other. This is something private. It’s the thin line between love and lust that they have always walked on.

His eyes are sharp yet intoxicated, drinking her face like nothing else. Her body is soft, and fluid, melting at his slightest touch. The wonder never leaves her eyes, neither does the sudden hunger.

Although the idea of the Delhi main Bali and Snake giving her roses *ewww, why didn’t she make an excuse!!!* and a part of me really wished that Khushi wore a pink saree instead of a salwar (she carries those so well - in that sexy, naive way!), and I wish that Snake disappeared from the planet - this dance was worth it.

The contrast between Akash Payal’s honeymoon night versus theirs does provide some much needed comic relief, it’s in the little moments such as a lit matchstick or them sharing a couch that kinda shows that the after effects of the dance lingered long in their heads.

Would I have been happier to have seen them directly carry out the palpable tension and angst that simmered during the dance to the privacy of their room? YES

Would that be possible on Indian television? Probably no

Do I respect the writers’ decision? Yes

Is this a perfect combination of angst and sexual tension? Heck yeah, why do you think I’m writing this!

Why do I love this scene - it has everything synonymous to Arnav and Khushi; the angst, passion, conflicted emotions and a hope that the fire hadn’t dimmed out.

*totally fanned myself and mentally thought that they were gonna blow up in flames or sexual frustration or the angsty thing of this whole situation at this point*

"Khushi, please stop crying. Khushi I... I love you.” (S7, E27 - S7, E28)

This was not a confession of love. This was a man’s last words. Arnav knew he would never get another chance to speak to her. As they say, death often brings about the biggest realizations and the biggest regrets. Yet again, this was a situation that could have been avoided.

If he listened to her.

If he had trusted her.

If he had allowed her to take him back home.

The ‘what ifs’ were too much. There was nothing more for Arnav to lose. And he couldn’t die without telling the only woman he ever loved that he never hated her. That he only, ever, loved her. Nothing else mattered.

On the other side Khushi had lost every hope of ever getting her love returned. His acerbic words and accusations had clawed her insides so much that logic, reasoning and even his hatred had fated away. He had to have known that she had always loved him. But she was so afraid to say anything that she could only cry when she heard his voice. And even before she could say what she wanted, he said the impossible.

He loved her.

Despite everything.

The angst is so heavy over here because Khushi’s joy and Arnav’s tragedy are so well put next to each other. On one end Khushi is floating with the thought of being loved and on the other Arnav is drowning for the very same reason. It’s one thing to verbalize your love, and another to never get the opportunity to live it.

True, Arnav wouldn’t have confessed his love if his life wasn’t in danger. He definitely would have come to that conclusion long after. It’s just that his brush with probably death broke away every hesitation, fear, doubt, betrayal he faced.

And nothing apart from an ‘I love you’ would’ve rendered Khushi speechless. It’s also disheartening that she realizes he would have never told her the same if things were normal.

The frustration, the pain, it’s beautiful!

Also one thing I found very interesting is that he cuts the call before Khushi can reply to him. Maybe her shock, her tears, her happiness (now that they are immensely in sync with each other), reveal that his feelings were returned (yup I’m an optimist!)? Maybe that’s why they didn’t need to say anything to each other apart from knowing that they’ve both been blind (once they meet each other into that legendary hug)?

It’s interesting that out of all the things that haunt him when he’s kidnapped - it’s how he reacted after knowing her version of truth. And Khushi, dear Khushi, she sees everything at his one confession - and perhaps it tells us all what she ever wanted to hear all along. Just like Arnav could forgive her everything at the possibility of never seeing her again, Khushi could forgive his anything at the slightest chance of him loving her back.

Also, one quick side note - I love how this parallels to the first promo. There Khushi held the torn photo together and held it against her heart. Here, Khushi’s belief in their broken relationship gets a 180 turn and she grasps her phone against her heart. There Arnav crumples the worn photo and closes his eyes in pain. Here, he cuts the call and grips the phone and closes his eyes in pain, again.

Full circle much?

*nope, totally didn’t cry when this happened, just some water leaks on the glands outside my eye ok*

“That I love you damnit!” (S8 , E30)

Isn’t it funny that the two most angsty moments in the show are the two times that Arnav ‘confesses’ his love to Khushi. And in fact it’s not that he’s confessing his love, it’s something they both know, it’s always more than that.

Totally negating the fact that there was an awkward-almost-forced-no-communication-what-the-heck-hate-it that-they-look-hot-weird-consummation sequence, let’s jump to Khushi overtly persisting Arnav about the necessities of marriage and rituals and Arnav finally breaking it to her that he loves her.

Given what happened (when he blamed her for everything wrong that happened in Anjali’s marriage) it’s perhaps easy to understand why Khushi would, again, need verbal assurance of who was she to him and what was her place in life.

In her mind it makes absolute sense that even if he proclaimed several times that he is her husband and she is his wife after that, she needed his words as his actions and words have contradicted a lot over time.

In his mind everything also makes sense. He married her (terribly, might I add), things were going better, they have shared a bed and are used to each other’s physical spaces and were always pretty close to kissing, if not sex (to be canon compliant, we can always imagine a much more eager Khushi and less creepy Arnav actually ready to bang in the hut).

So over here, in this scene, it’s the height of their frustrations and their differences in ideologies. Arnav has been a man of actions, Khushi has been a woman of words.

We can see how different they are, fundamentally and in a way it’s hilarious because both want the same thing. It’s kinda crucial to see that despite wanting the same thing - they really can’t understand each other at this point. He wants her to act. She wants him to say. And neither are getting the other in this process.

And even though he yells at her and stares at her with this intense release of their bubbling emotions - it was hot. Strangely it was because we’ve all heard of the calm before the storm, this was more like a calm after the storm.

And what’s sweet is that Khushi is always stunned. She stares at him and slowly lets it sink in about what he said. (I wish Arnav stuck around than swagger walked away because she went back into the room and positively glowed). So although this might not be my most favorite angst moment, the time when they just stare and Khushi goes through this phase of shock, understanding and a ‘why-didn’t-you-tell-me-before’ and he goes through irritation, understanding and then back to annoyance is the last bit of angst that they have against each other.

And for some reason, he does leave before he can hear her reply. Again.

*they looked so, so hot. Can’t believe this episode was nearly ruined by the forced suhaagraat. So glad she gets to tell him ‘I love you’ in this same outfit.*

“Jiji, agar woh waapas nahi aye toh hum kya karenge? Agar woh waapas nahi aye toh hum kya karenge?!” (S9, E30 - S10, E2)

“Jiji, what will I do if he never returns? What will I do if he never returns!?”

In this context it can loosely be translated to what will happen to me if he never returns as well.

Oh God these episodes tug my heartstrings so much. As I said, everything terrible seems to be happening to these two. And just as they resolved every bit of doubt between themselves, fate played them into the hands of the things that mattered most to them - family.

One of the reasons why I truly love this episode is because how ferocious Khushi is. She loves him, after the massive journey they’ve had, and heck will she allow anyone to destroy that. Her paranoia, fear and almost maddening level of love was such a refreshing change.

It’s not that she was just sobbing - no, she was constantly shifting between anger, denial, cries, yells, silence - everything. She nearly lost her mind at the thought of never getting him back again. And YES! This is my most favourite Khushi - the passionate, determined, vulnerable, strong, vocal Khushi.

And Arnav, oh God I truly cried for him. His struggles, his tears - I loved that he collapsed and cried his lungs out. I loved that he kept on trying to make sense of his life and collect the pieces of memory floating around to give an answer.

The angst, the fight against the past, the ultimate payoff - completely worth it. He made the right decision and he was still shaken by everything. Khushi, despite yelling at Dadi when that woman had the audacity of orchestrating this event, still murmured her apology to Arnav - respecting his family relations. They’re both quintessentially who they are, but at this point of time they understand each other in a completely different level.

(Which is why the future tracks don’t make much sense. Neither does the situation of Ek Jashn because no way would Arnav forget this day, out of everything.)

This day could have gone so, so wrong. But it does not. The angst of the two episodes builds up so well that I was crying when Arnav met with an accident - because he running his way back to his Khushi. The symbolism is flowing so heavily in these scenes.

It’s literally what keeps on happening in their lives. Khushi keeps her hope until it’s impossible and Arnav proves her wrong (delightfully so) by saying the most important things to her or even by making the most important decision. An optimist and a responsible decision maker - life looks good for them.

Kudos to the sound team for the way they handled the music - especially when Khushi rubbishes her thoughts of the broken bangles, is over excited at Arnav’s arrival and rushes down the stairs to meet him (breaking every single ritual cause rituals actually didn’t matter) and despite all the joy the dread in the background score is so good and effective.

Would I have liked if Arnav kept his hair up, if the phere flashback was omitted cause we just proved that pheres weren’t the issue and if the frothy pink white background was something different and darker - even like just the simple mandir as the mandir wedding aesthetic was prettier - definitely. BUT, that’s just minor irrelevant details.

*lets out a soft breath when Arnav kisses Khushi’s forehead after they marry... yes, angst is gone... totally gone. Thank God*

“Arnav aur Khushi hamesha saath rahenge.” (S10, E30)

“Arnav and Khushi will always stay together.”

Damnit, I’m getting emotional! Look at what the last angsty moment is between them. The first time I sensed angst, it was the impossibility of them getting together. And now, it’s the impossibility of them living apart.

That’s exactly why I am in love with this series - this is called growth.

I so sincerely wished the rest of the Aarav track was dealt with this much of maturity instead of the stupid comedy that was off putting. But you have to give the props to the writers, actors and production team for coming up with this soft, slightly angsty, emotional moment about the two characters who are so true to their nature yet fear another external force pulling them apart.

It’s a beautiful insight to the future. That Khushi would accept her vulnerabilities. That Arnav would reassure her and have his life knocked back into him when she would be next to him. That Arnav and Khushi would discuss everything together, now their differences remained superficial and their understanding was skin deep.

They understand all that without saying much. No humor, no belittling Khushi, no family harping on Arnav 2.0, no Khushi losing her maturity/intelligence/brains and no Sheetal becoming besties of Raizada for no reason.

This scene is such a beautiful moment between the both of them - precisely why the Mrs. India track felt like such a terrible downfall in their relationship. It didn’t make sense based on what was established in this episode.

Arnav and Khushi need each other. There’s no ego, no pride, just a deep level of understanding and a connection that rivals almost everything else. Over here Arnav isn’t angry at Khushi for making crazy connections, he’s speaking the possibilities with her and how futile her fear is because they are married and in love - she should be with irrespective of the consequences.

Over here Khushi isn’t hiding her thoughts or lying to him, she’s exposing her fears and worry. As an orphan she feels the necessity of making sure Aarav has a parent - especially if his father is hearty and alive. And she allows herself to be strengthened from the faith Arnav has in them and himself.

This one scene immediately made me empathize with both Arnav and Khushi. This is perhaps one of their very few soft conversations that happen on screen. Is there anything called soft angst? That hug made me weak in my knees. That’s love folks, that’s love. That’s how we envision Arnav & Khushi in future.

*imagines the soft kisses and moments these two might have had. Cries because it’s fluff meets smut and feels and damn they’re gorgeous*

PHEW! THAT’S THE END AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR STICKING ONTO THIS ONE! One last, final, quick note - all of this is obviously from my point of view and no way am I even right in perceiving the show - everyone has their own opinions so feel free to add notes!

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #arnavsinghraizada #khushi kumari gupta #thought #hindi tv #tv analysis #too long #lots of thoughts

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