#NOW THAT YOU SAW THE ORIGINAL EDIT you have to see the bullshit i made at the discretion of skele & I both

[vellichorom]

VOLUME WARNING // it gets loud & distorted toward the end

ollie reaches a limit

( ft @satisfiedskye‘s art AND narrator, I JUST COLORED & ANIMATED IT )

[juletheghoul]

covetous

a/n: Jesus Maggie, you really called me out on my bullshit for this one. Originally I want this story to just be a bunch of sexy encounters in a morally questionable world, now we're talking about feelings and love and how the hell did we get here? (This is how I would imagine him the first time he sees his Girl) Please enjoy this un-beta'd, barely edited request. All mistake and errors are mine! please enjoy

Warnings; 18+ no minors, Marcus pov, vague but big-legal age gap, there's no actual sex, but memories of it, vulgar yet romantic musings, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus - let me know if I missed any!

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 1.1k (😅)

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist series masterlist

War is easy. It’s a language he’s fluent in, something he excels in. He is blessed enough to have survived more battles that he could count and has been more than rewarded for his prowess. Battle plans, marches and military strategy are almost second nature, the fury, the heat of battle, all that he can anticipate and it’s probably the main reason he’s come this far in his life. 

Soldiers, camp life and brutality, those things are easy for him to understand.

Other matters, love, affection, attraction; these things are…harder. 

Physically, he’s perfectly adequate. He's never been ignorant to his looks, or his build. He knows that he fills the societal ideal for a man. He’s broad, he’s strong, he has a good face and no physical flaws.

He’s never been short of attention from the fairer sex either but that doesn’t mean anything as far as he’s concerned. He’s had his trysts, and he thinks he might have even been in love before but his luck seems to stop, and stay within his vocation. 

In his younger days, he’d broken his fair share of hearts, he’d been gifted the virtue of many a virgin in hopes of tempting him into a marriage. None of them had held his attention for more than that one night, and sometimes, in the late hours wherever he found his rest he secretly feared the Gods might be punishing him. Withholding the partner he hopes to find as payment for those broken hearts left in his wake. 

As he grew older, wiser and more practical he learned to ignore that little emptiness. He saw it more as a blessing. Would he be where he was now with a woman waiting for him? Would he have hit his station with children bearing his name pulling at his thoughts in the middle of battle? Perhaps the Gods had simply made a trade. His life, or his heart. 

He’d been content with his lot in life, until he’d seen her. 

She’d served at a gathering he’d been loath to attend. His eyes tracked her, the shine of her hair, the curve of her hip, her pretty smile. Her eyes had locked with his for half a heartbeat and he’d felt it in his belly. A rolling, like waves in a stormy ocean. 

She’d gone about her business, efficiently fulfilling her duties while the guests all spoke animatedly around him. He’d joined in after reigning in his reaction, but she’d taken every ounce of his attention with her. 

He’d negotiated her purchase the next day. 

-

She was quick. She learned everything faster than a lot of the others in his service, and she seemed to anticipate his needs before he spoke them. Most of the time, he barely needed to say anything at all, and so he kept quiet. Kept his thoughts, and his feelings to himself. 

His biggest need though, was her. He wanted her bad enough to hurt, to ache.

He was well aware of the practices in other houses. Slaves were there to obey, and in most houses that meant obeying with work, and with their bodies. He saw no issue in this, it was the way of the world. No matter how badly he wanted her though, he couldn’t make himself order her to spread her legs for him. Maybe it was a foolish, childish thing but he wanted her to crave it just as he did. He wanted her wet, he wanted her begging for him, he wanted to see pleasure and lust on her pretty face. 

He wanted her to want him. 

A year passed, and every second in her presence was exquisite torture. A torture he submitted himself to freely and with a perverse pleasure. It was a test of endurance, until the fateful night she’d come to him with her wet tunic, all of her body on display through the sheer fabric. The shadow of her cunt had sent him into a frenzy and when she’d come back and caught him fucking his fist he’d thought it was just another form of punishment. 

It was that look on her face though, that heavy lidded, open mouthed way she stared at him, nipples hardening that had finally made him crack. 

That first night he’d taken her, he’d stayed up in his bed, almost blinded with want. Her body had not alleviated the craving for her, if anything, it’d only made it worse. He’d replayed their encounter over and over, obsessed with the taste of her on his fingers, obsessed with the feel of her lips on his. From then on, she’d only cemented her hold on him. Her quiet obedience, her subtle seduction, the way she’d managed to scrape the shape of herself onto his brain.

She’d made herself the figurehead in his mind, the holy place at which he prayed, the Goddess he served. If he could, he’d light a thousand candles at the altar of her cunt, and pray to them daily.

He fought harder to return to her, he took note of her wants, of her preferences, and made sure to cater to her, despite no one in the house, not even her realizing. He dismissed the younger boys that lusted after her, he was covetous of her to the point of violence. A small smile from her could dictate his mood. The thought of her in pain made him feel like some feral wolf caught in a trap, ready and willing to chew part of himself away to reach her. 

Sometimes, after he’d spilled inside her, he’d let her fall asleep in his bed and relish the way she clung to him in her sleep. It was a double edged sword though, their stations in this life. A part of him fears that her want is only an act, a way to endear herself to him, her Dominus. A foundation to earn her freedom, or coin, or influence through him but then he sees the shy way she smiles at him and his fears are silenced to nothing. 

She cannot fake the way she flutters around his cock, she cannot pretend to feel nothing, not when he sees the same jealousy he feels shining through her eyes at the mention of the mostly political proposals he’s denied. The things she says, the way she takes her pleasure from him, all of these things only compound his delusions that just maybe, she feels for him a fraction of what he feels for her. 

It’s a sort of madness, truly, how that part of him that was the perpetual soldier had in so many respects switched their roles, had given her a control–a power he was sure she didn’t realize she had. 

He was sick with want for her, ravenous, and yet unable to soften himself in a way that would make her see the truth, make her see just how much she truly meant to him. He couldn’t make himself show her, that whatever she asked of him, he’d do with a smile.

For now at least. 

- Tag list: @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @sherala007 @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi  @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed  @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery @its-nebuleuse @missladym1981 @inept-the-magnificent @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @ladyofmidlo72 @greenvita @honey-on-your-tongue @ladylovesloki @alexiamargot06 @purple-fig @picketniffler @somedayheaven @flw3rrr

[derseprinceoftbd]

This is a rant I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while, but the conception on Tumblr, AO3, and sometimes here, that Jake is capable of "teasing" Dirk, and all that implies, irks me deeply.

Let me be clear: Jake English is not self-aware. He, in Canon, never does anything resembling self-awareness, maturity, emotional boldness, or anything else that requires a spinal column. This includes apologizing to anyone, talking about his problems in a way that doesn't end up being selfish, teasing someone, particularly Dirk, or transitioning. (I maintain this especially; he does not have the boldness, maturity, self-awareness, or nerve to have transitioned his gender presentation pre-Act-6.)

He has an *understanding* of pranks, if we allow Paradox Space as evidence, but that's it. He makes *Tavros* look like a fully-roleplayed-into-Class-shift Lord.

You know what the popular Fandom perception of Jake, as a member of a DirkJake relationship, lines up with? *John*, before his main writing trait became a deep, all-consuming depression and repression thing.

Like, John’s original Act 5 and earlier characterization before his underreaction to his dad's death and the spiral that sent him down towards his current "transition would not save her" characterization is what people use for Jake (charming, funny, actually seems to have his shit together enough to maybe be transmasc (man, remember *transmasc John*?), and, most importantly, seemingly capable of dealing with the levels of vaguely sociopathic bullshit that an even-close-to-accurate Dirk would throw at him), but DirkJohn/JohnDirk is less popular, to the point of not having a consensus order, simply because Jake and Dirk are *coded* as liking each other.

I think a lot of people miss that DirkJake is fundamentally the Equius of relationships; Hussie isn't one of those writers that feels pride in finding pathos in the ridiculous, but spiteful glee and humor. He genuinely does not care if he accidentally touches people's hearts in a way that doesn't involve Dave, or *maybe* Vriska. The fact is, DirkJake is a joke relationship, which is spelled out very clearly in their conversation.

You know, their conversation. The one they have together. The time we see someone who is actual Dirk Strider, not Hal pretending, not Aranea co-opting a memory, not a Brain Ghost, talking to Jake. That time.

Yeah, that doesn't exist. DirkJohn has as much conversational basis as DirkJake.

Edit:

LESS! GAME OVER! "I FAILED"! LESS!!!

DirkJake is a joke, a long, subtle one being made on everyone who saw Dirk's affections and immediately wanted him to get together with his disabled(?) ongoing harassment victim. Hussie was having a lot of fun making it seem like Jake found it important in the Masterpiece, I'll tell you that much.

@thelifetimechannel/@geejaysmith/@clonerightsagenda did magnificently wringing blood from this stone, I really do mean that, their Alphas are genuinely written better than Canon for 3/4, but that's all it ever was; every DirkJake writer is the YouTube comments under [this video](https://youtu.be/B7bpv5xyrOY?si=wYTCFDHM5ZzOY8fp) saying Equius could ever have been more than what he was.

TL:DR

1, Jake is pathetic, and we should remember this.

2, Hussie is a jackass who hates us one and all for the sin of caring and everything he has done with this franchise since maybe EOY2 has had an ulterior motive, and we should remember this.

3, Most people who write longfics set in SBURBless AUs, whether normalcy or fantasy, and want to ship Dirk and Jake should really be shipping Dirk with John, since now that history of Dirk-Jake interactions that justifies the ship in-Universe is gone at the Author's leasure, John would have the dynamic they want, and they talk *exactly as much*.

4, If you want to trans Jake, [there's a sensible way to do that](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619856), but there's no in-character way to make him transmasc.

5, Read DDOTA, I beseecheth of you. Like yeah the Striders are emotional to a kinda weird degree but apart from that they really got everyone down right.

[lynaferns]

I feel like people who insist and celebrate too much that "their fanfics and AUs" are now "canonically accurate" because they played Sun as passive aggressive from the beginning, are starting to drive a wedge in the community with their comments, especially when These are important figures in the fandom.

I've already seen someone "famous" mention that "I used to consider Sun basic and boring for just being the eager good guy" and wow, that disappointed me a little. If anything, Moon falls into the same "basic" category by being just "the bad guy," canonically speaking. But they are not pleasant things to read, are they?

I personally think that if Sun hadn't seemed so anxious, vulnerable and partially open/friendly in the beginning, he wouldn't be so many people's comfort character today. Because I highly doubt that his attitude in HW2 would have made so many people feel comfortable, not to mention that it would have surely stung them in one or another possible trauma.

I've been trying so hard not to insult anyone because I believe that good communication comes from respect and good manners but some people are pissing me off. (Not you anon)

Listen, those people can go fuck themselves with their stupid comments and their entitled opinions.

I'm also a follower of canon acurated and I see no reason in mocking people who don't follow canon. It makes me so mad reading comments laughing at people whose interpretation has been contradicted by canon.

If they are taking pleasure from seeing how some in the community are reacting to HW2 with sadness (which is a VERY understandable reaction and should NOT be made fun of) they are not worth your attention, they aren't worth ANYONES attention. If it makes you feel better block them and move on because you will be happier this way.

And those who say "I tHOuGhT sUn WaS bAsIc AnD bOrInG" clearly they didn't see through the characters. You could say exactly the same about any of the other characters. You could say exactly the same about ANY CHARACTER EVER MADE.

People are so fast at taking one single trait of a character and make it their whole personality like it's the only and true thing about them and if you thing otherwise you're wrong. "Oh but we have this other behavior of him shown before, this may just be another aspect of their personality-" "nope, I don't see that, that doesn't exist, this is the truth about your comfort character, suck it" fucking bullshit.

Kellen makes a great job at interpreting Sun's character, if you stop to hear all the voice lines you can see a lot of aspects of him, just paying attention to his voice. Everyone jumped so fast to the "Sun is a sassy mean bitch" train forgetting that: he was originally in theater, he takes care of kids, he tries to be nice to kids, he probably gets criticized daily by parents and employees so there's no reason for him to be constantly nice to everyone, he is tired, like seriously, if you listen to his voice lines half of them sounds tired and trying to smile trough it but at the verge of exploding.

We don't even know how Sun and Moon are when they are alone.

I personally don't think the interactions in HW2 are canon events in the lore, it wouldn't make sense.

I'm so sorry that y'all are going through this. Don't let people's shitty comments get to you, ok? Go read your comfort fic or reblog that old piece of fanart that made you giggle and kick your feet the first time you saw it.

(EDIT: read the reblogs)

[melishade]

Attack on Prime Alternate Scene Part 5

Part 4

I FUCKING DID IT EVERYONE! I've finally completed the rough draft for Guren No Yumiya with 56,423 words! I finally written the end game! All I need to do is make edits to Last Ditch Effort and then Guren No Yumiya and I can publish them both! Not at the same time, this is a lot to digest! But I finally made it and completed the climax! FINALLY!

Alright, so which scene am I gonna talk about today?

Actually I can just talk about my multiple edits for both chapter 90 and chapter 91. For now, I'm just going to focus on chapter 90. Next Part will be chapter 91.

So when I had initially started writing up draft for introducing Primus, the Fourth Notebook idea hadn't existed yet. The original idea was that Kenny found the drawing of Optimus' holoform in Grisha's notebook and brought it over to Megatron in a fit of rage:

Erwin and Nile jolted when Kenny kicked open the door to Erwin’s home. Nile backed away when Erwin took a step forward.

“Kenny, what-,”

“Out the fucking way,” Kenny growled ominously. He walked over to Megatron and punched him in the face, startling both Erwin and Nile.

“You fucking liar!” Kenny shouted.

Megatron glared at Kenny before choking him with one arm and lifting him in the air. “You better have a good reason for your insolence.”

“My insolence?!” Kenny strained.

“Megatron, put him down!” Erwin ordered as he tried to pull the arm down.

“Explain this bullshit!” Kenny demanded as he showed Megatron the paper.

Megatron stared in shock as he snatched the paper and dropped Kenny on the ground. Nile went to his side while Erwin turned his attention to Megatron.

“What the hell-,”

Erwin was startled when he saw the paper. It was a drawing. A drawing of…

Optimus Prime in his human form.

“What the hell?” Erwin breathed.

“Where did you get this?” Megatron demanded.

“From those fucking notebooks!” Kenny shouted, “You sons of bitches sayin’ that you haven’t been here! That bastard keeps saying he’s seen his face! I thought you bastards were in a war!”

“We were in a war!” Megatron shouted, “Optimus was stranded on Earth and I was halfway across the universe looking for dark energon!”

“Then why the hell is that bastard seeing your ex?!” Kenny shouted.

Erwin took the paper from Megatron and read the information on the back. “I keep on seeing him. I don’t know if I should share or withhold this information, so I will keep it hidden for the time being. I try to touch him, to speak to him, but he seems to be out of my sights. An after image in the back of my mind. I feel like I have seen him, but I do not know his name. All I know, is that he is referred to…as god.”

“’God’?” Kenny hissed, “Is that bastard fucking insane?”

“He’s seeing Optimus in his memories!” Erwin shot back, “How is that even possible?!”

“Timey-whiney mumbo jumbo!” Kenny answered, “We already said memories can be sent back!”

“Optimus has only been here for four years!” Erwin reasoned, “Grisha has never seen him!”

“But Eren has!” Kenny reminded, “This is bullshit!”

“This isn’t Optimus,” Megatron proclaimed, gaining everyone’s attention.

“You’re joking, right?” Kenny demanded.

“No,” Megatron answered, “This is someone wearing the holoform’s skin, most likely to blend in with the humans.”

“What are you suggesting?” Erwin asked.

“Someone else is interfering,” Megatron answered as he handed the paper back to Kenny, “Someone that has more power than us.”

“Do you know who?” Nile asked.

Megatron grimaced in response. “No idea, and I’m not sure if it’s wise to find out. Leave this alone for the time being.”

“That’s it?” Kenny demanded, “We’re just supposed to leave this shit alone?”

“Shouldn’t this be something we should be worried about?” Nile asked in confusion.

“This is clearly supernatural,” Megatron explained as he rubbed his temple, “And I’ve had my fair share of getting involved with that.

The idea of the humans and Megatron figuring out that there was something supernatural involved didn't sit right with me. Because what was I even supposed to do with it. Where would I even take it? Where would it go? I felt like this wouldn't have worked long term so I figured a fourth notebook with Megatron concluding later on that the Attack Titan can see into the future would be the better option. It allows the characters to be aware of the situation while also keeping the twist that Primus is involved just a little bit longer.

Now when Primus was initially introduced into the Paths, I had him acting just a little bit different....:

“Next memory,” Eren told his brother as he opened the door. He stopped when he saw a man at the door, wearing a large, black trench coat that looked exactly like…

“Optimus?” Eren whispered.

Zeke stared in shock and merely took a step back as Optimus walked past Eren. The two noticed that Grisha didn’t see him as Optimus began rummaging through the cabinets. The two grew confused when Optimus hit his head on top of one of the cabinets.

Optimus rubbed his head as he sat on the ground. “I don’t know why I still have to have pain receptors. Time doesn’t even work here.”

Eren grew stiff. That wasn’t Optimus. That sounded nothing like Optimus! Who the hell was he?!

“Who are you?!” Zeke demanded at the man.

The man looked at Zeke and Eren in surprise and stood up. “You can see me?”

“Yes! Who are you?!” Zeke demanded.

The man smiled and grabbed Zeke’s shoulders. “Great! You can help me!”

“Help you?” Eren asked.

“Yes!” he answered, “I am currently looking for someone. Time doesn’t work here, that much I know. And I am currently limited to this form. It’s been a long time since I’ve had digits.”

The man looked down at his fingers and wiggled them. “What an odd sight, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Eren shrugged, “But…I don’t know what you’re looking for. Could you describe it?”

“That’s the thing��I’m not sure,” the man admitted, “I have been dormant for eons. I wake up hearing a cry from across the universe, and I can’t go because this was the closest I could to achieving a physical form. I had to send Optimus here to get close.”

“What?” Eren said.

“But I see that the two of you are busy,” the man said, “And I have an eternity to wait,”

The man walked back over to the door, still unnoticed by Grisha. He gestured to the door and smiled.

“I’d like to come with the both of you,” he requested, “Going through this place by myself is difficult. One minute I find myself in a calm setting, the next I find myself in a war zone. I would like some clarification or order to the chaos.”

Zeke looked at the man with warning, causing the man’s smile to disappear.

“I swear to…myself?, I will not get involved with…this,” the man gestured to the scene before him.

Zeke grimaced in response. “Fine.”

Eren eyed the man as he happily followed Zeke into the next memory.

There's obviously no weight to this scene, not compared to the final draft. It feels extremely rushed. But the idea was the same. Primus comes in, Eren and Zeke are surprised, and Primus asks to come with them. Now when writing Primus initially, I was characterizing him as someone who had control of the situation, and you'll see glimpses of that in later drafts. It's almost like he was completely fine with his situation and he knew what was going on. I didn't want to make it too easy for Primus for obvious reasons, but I knew I had to rewrite Primus where he's in a situation that's out of his control. There's also other things that I decided to change, like Primus dropping Cybertronian terminology and Primus swearing to himself instead of the One: the being he originally came from. I wanted there to be more of a build up to Primus' identity and I feel like have Primus swear to himself would have been a dead giveaway.

Now this is one of the scenes that I've changed. It's about Primus learning of Eren's interactions with Mikasa and his kill count and also Primus confronting Zeke for a brief moment.

Eren could only watch as the man tried to interact with his younger self, kneeling down and waving to the nine year old.

“This is strange,” he remarked before looking at Eren, “Is it strange for you to see a younger version of yourself walking around? Or is this only limited to humans?”

“Will you stop?” Zeke demanded.

“So this is normal?” the man asked for clarification.

“No!” Zeke exclaimed, “Can you stop?! I am trying to prove a point to my brother!”

The man raised an eyebrow at the both of them. “You two don’t look alike.”

Zeke growled in irritation. Eren was merely trying to put some pieces together. What did this man mean when he said he sent Optimus here? He clearly wasn’t human. He used a different terminology for body parts and other phrases. Optimus had to tell him something about this, right?

“What point are you trying to prove to him?” the man asked as he pointed at Eren.

“I’m trying to save the world,” Zeke answered, “And our father brainwashed him into believing that the world shouldn’t be save. That our father forced his ideology on him and forced him to use the power of the titans. I’m trying to save Eren, too.”

The man stood up and walked around the people before facing Zeke. “How do you intend to save the world?”

Eren felt the air suddenly get colder and terrifying. Zeke seemed to notice this change, but didn’t associate it with the man.

“I have to free the Eldians,” Zeke declared, “And I will use the power of the titans to free them and end their suffering.”

The man didn’t respond to Zeke, causing the man to grow tense. But they both grew confused as the man placed a hand on Zeke’s shoulder.

“That is very admirable of you,” the man smiled.

Eren noticed that the man’s smile was forced. He wore Optimus’ face, so he knew the subtle changes in his expression and how that related to what he was feeling. Something told him this man knew more than he let on.

“While I am looking for the being I came here for, I can help your brother see the error in your creator’s ways,” the man offered.

“You won’t find anything,” Eren declared, “My father never forced a thing on me.”

The memory shifted into the aftermath of Eren and Mikasa’s first kill. The man looked down in surprise, then horror as he realized that the two children were responsible for the deaths of the three men.

“You did this...,” The man began, “As a sparkling?”

“Those three men killed Mikasa’s parents,” Eren explained, “They were going to force Mikasa into sexual slavery at the age of nine. They tried to take away the freedom of someone else, so I took away theirs.”

Eren noticed guilt appearing on the man’s face before he turned away from him.

“I understand why you did what you did,” the man began as he saw Grisha yelling at Eren outside of the cabin, “But…it is unfortunate that you had to sacrifice your innocence at that age.”

“At least you had a choice in the matter,” Zeke retorted, “I never did.”

“Dad didn’t force me to do anything,” Eren declared as he gestured to the house. “This was all my choice.”

“Grisha raised you freely,” Zeke accepted, “But that does not make him a good man. It makes him a hypocrite.”

Zeke walked away from Eren down the steps, but stopped when he saw the man watching Eren wrap his scarf around Mikasa with a warm smile.

“I don’t agree with the method,” the man began, “But I am happy that you saved her life.”

Eren wanted to throw up as the man looked at him with that same smile.

“Thank you,” the man said before noticing the guilt on Eren’s face, “Are you okay?”

“I…,” Eren began, “You look like someone I know.”

“Oh, I didn’t know,” the man insisted, “I had to get a human form to blend in with humans, but I wasn’t aware this was of someone you knew.”

“You’re acting as if you aren’t human,” Zeke remarked as he crossed his arms.

“Well, I’m not,” the man shrugged before turning back to Eren, “If you want I can find another form.”

“It’s fine,” Eren said, “I can deal with it.”

“Are you sure?” the man asked, earning a nod from Eren.

“But…who are you?” Eren asked.

“Even if I told you my name, you wouldn’t know who I am,” the man proclaimed, “Sorry.”

“I need you to stop interfering with us,” Zeke ordered the man, “I need to make my point to him.”

“But I still need help,” the man reasoned.

“This is more important than you finding some random person,” Zeke declared, “I need to save multiple people. That’s more important than saving one person.”

“For someone who wishes to save the world, you’re not very compassionate,” the man proclaimed.

Zeke blinked at the man’s word before he stormed off. The man gestured to Eren and the titan shifter followed him into the next memory.

“The person I am,” the man began, “Is he someone close to you?”

Eren thought it over before looking down despondently. “He…he’s like a father to me. And after I lost my dad, that was something I needed. But…I’m pretty sure I hurt him.”

“Hurt him?” the man questioned.

“I lied to him, hurt his feelings, did something that made him disappointed in me,” Eren listed, “I don’t think he’s going to forgive me.”

The man seemed to be deep in thought before looking back at Eren. “Perhaps there is time to apologize to him. Even if he doesn’t forgive you, it wouldn’t hurt to try, especially if he means so much to you.”

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m not going to get that chance,” Eren proclaimed.

The man raised an eyebrow at that. “What do you mean?”

Eren shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

The man shrugged. “If you’re willing to talk about it, I’d be happy to listen.”

“Um…yeah,” Eren trailed off, “How…did you even get here?”

The man raised an eyebrow as Zeke began listening in on the conversation.

“Like in this dimension?” the man asked, earning a nod from Eren, “Well as I said before, I had to send Optimus to get close. Vector was the one who had to open a portal at the exact moment in space and time in order to get into this dimension. He said it had to be an exact moment.”

So the main bulk of the dynamics hasn't really changed much, just the dialogue. Primus is trying to interact with the world of the humans. Zeke is obviously annoyed and Eren is more willing to hear Primus out due to him wearing Optimus' face. At this point, Primus hadn't revealed his name to Eren yet, but the younger of the two was still trying to put the pieces together in regards to who Primus was.

In terms of Primus asking Zeke for his intentions and motivations, a few things. I was originally thinking of making Primus aware of Zeke's plan, and wanting to give Zeke a proper chance to explain himself and why he wants to do his plan, but Zeke doesn't give the full details of his plans, knowing from experience that people tend to oppose it. But Primus is fully aware. He's not happy with Zeke's explanation, so much so that his anger and disappointment is affecting the environment around him. But Primus keeps it together for the sake of keeping up appearances.

Same thing with Eren. Primus has some knowledge of Eren's intentions and capabilities but is still playing dumb to get a much more honest reaction out of him. He's aware of Eren's relationship with Optimus and just wants to see the impact. I ultimately decided against Primus being knowledgeable about the AOT world because it ultimately does him a disservice when it comes to giving Eren a choice. Having Primus figure out everything as he goes along just seemed like the better option.

A few other scenes before I go into the final moment in chapter 90:

Primus seeing baby Eren and gushing about him:

Eren looked out of the corner of his eye to see the shadow staring at the child version of himself. There was awe and curiosity in those eyes as the child was playing with his family. Zeke noticed the expression on the shadow’s face and was also confused.

“What’s wrong?” Zeke demanded.

“I want to say something, but I said that I wouldn’t interfere with your dispute.” The shadow explained.

“...go ahead,” Zeke sighed.

The shadow slid over to the family and gestured to the smaller version of Eren. “It’s so cute!”

“Huh?!” Eren exclaimed while Zeke covered his mouth to hide his smirk.

“You were so small, and chubby!”  the shadow exclaimed as he pointed to the smaller version of himself, “Now you're so tall, and thin! And your hair is longer!...it doesn’t suit you.”

Eren blushed in embarrassment while Zeke stifled his laughter.

“Still, I’m curious as to how you’re able to turn from that into this,” the shadow said as he pointed from his younger self to the older child, “Especially in such a short amount of time.”

Zeke stopped laughing while Eren was startled.

“Fifteen years is not a short amount of time,” Eren told him.

“It isn’t?” The shadow questioned, “Hm. Maybe I’ve been in here for too long and my perception of time has been warped.”

“How long have you been in here?” Zeke asked.

The shadow thought it over before counting his fingers. He paused and thought about it again before he continued counting.

“...a long time,” the shadow responded, “There was no linear construct of time when I came to this dimension. I just know that I’ve been here for ages.”

The shadow noticed their staring and rubbed the back of his head. “I’m sorry that’s not a really solid answer.”

“This place does not follow the same construct of time as the real world,” Zeke said, “I can imagine why you would not be able to keep track.”

“I’m just glad that I have some company,” the shadow proclaimed, “Thank you for letting me accompany you.”

Showing Primus' adoration for new life while also revealing information about him to the brothers and the audience.

This scene also got cut as well, it was basically Primus talking to Friede before Grisha transformed:

 “I cannot change what will happen today,” the man told her, “This is already set in stone.”

Frieda hung her head. “My family will die, won’t they?”

“Yes,”

“I…will die,”

The man hesitated. “Yes. I am sorry I cannot save you. The guilt you must have been feeling for so long has tormented you for years. Tormented your family, and tormented your ancestors.”

“…it has,” Frieda whispered.

“You did what you could to end the suffering brought on by your ancestors,” the man proclaimed, “With what options you had, you did not do so bad. But the Eldians now do not deserve that suffering. It will continue to lead in a never ending cycle of violence. I will end the power of the titans; you have my word, but I cannot find out how. Do you happen to know that answer?”

Eren snapped out of his thoughts and yelled at his father. “Kill them right now!”

“No, father! Don’t!” Zeke pleaded.

“What guarantee can you give me that the power of the titans will end?” Frieda asked, “What guarantee can you give me that the Eldians will be safe?”

“My word,” the man answered, “It is not much, I know, but it is all that I can give you.”

Frieda looked up at the man, looked him straight in the eye to determine if he was lying. All she saw was pure honesty…and kindness. Frieda touched the man’s head with her own as Grisha muttered the courage and raised his scalpel.

“For Aunt Faye!” Eren shouted.

“She wouldn’t want this!” Zeke proclaimed.

“You started this story didn’t you?!” Eren challenged.

“That is all I can give you,” Frieda sighed solemnly as she let him go, “I have nothing else.”

The man opened his eyes and smiled at Frieda before placing his hand on her head. Frieda gasped as she saw…Historia, in a beautiful dress, looking happy as she kissed another woman by the ocean. Frieda began crying with tears a joy as the man removed his hand from her head.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“May your next life be one of peace and happiness,” the man prayed.

It was the original route of Primus being aware of everything, but I ultimately didn't go through with it because the way I wrote it out, it was implying that Primus was just going to let Frieda die at Grisha's hand. I just thought it would be better for Eren to cause trouble and have Primus' emotions ultimately influence Grisha's decision. I was also having this be a callback to Primus praying for Kruger's soul in the next life.

And finally this scene:

Eren tried to reach Ymir, to stop her from reaching the glowing tree. He was almost able to touch her, but something stopped Eren dead in his tracks. He tried to move, but he couldn’t. Ymir was almost going to reach the tree, but the man from earlier walked out of the tree. He kneeled down in front of Ymir and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight hug. Ymir did not move or struggle from the man, and merely stood in place.

Eren was shocked at the sight, forgetting about his current predicament. He stopped her. The guy stopped her. Who was he? Eren saw the man speaking, but couldn’t understand a word coming from his mouth. He then connected his forehead with Ymir’s in a gesture of comfort. He kissed her on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her once more.

“I found you,” he spoke.

Eren was shocked as he felt the force let him go. Zeke saw what was going on and ran towards the man.

“You can’t do this!” Zeke shouted, “Ymir, I order you!”

Ymir cried out in pain as she clutched her head. The man immediately covered her ears before glaring at Zeke. He raised his hand, and Zeke was forced to stop in his tracks. Eren looked back at the man and froze when he saw his eyes glowing an electric blue.

“Rest, little one,” he told Ymir, “I will be right back.”

He placed Ymir on the sand and laid her down. The man removed his coat and placed it over Ymir like a blanket. She curled into the warmth and fell asleep.

Eren took small steps back as he saw something glowing at the center of the man’s chest. He had blue, glowing veins throughout his arms, and his eyes…weren’t human. They resembled that of a Cybertronian.

“You said you wouldn’t interfere!” Zeke shouted.

“Zeke, shut up!” Eren warned.

“You’re right,” the man began ominously, “But I’ve seen enough to finally step in, Zeke Jaeger.”

Zeke felt himself being lifted high into the air before being slammed into the sand.

“Wait, stop!” Eren pleaded. He yelped when a forced pulled him towards the man. The man grabbed Eren’s shirt and gave an ominous look.

“Eren Jaeger,” the man bellowed, “Son of Grisha and Carla Jaeger, current holder of the Attack Titan, the foolish child who wishes to destroy the world. I’ve seen that look with Megatronus. That looks still lingers within Megatron’s eyes. And now…”

Eren looked down at the hand holding him, seeing blue lightening brim to life around it.

“I see it with you!”the man bellowed in a completely different voice, or voices. It sounded like multiple voices overlapping with one another. It was powerful, and it was haunting, and Eren was scared out of his mind. Eren began to tremble as Zeke forced himself up.

“Who are you?!” Zeke shouted, “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t know who I am,” the man declared.

“Y-you’re…,” Eren began, “You’re the creator of Cybertron, the sworn enemy to Unicron, and the creator of the original Primes. You…are Primus: Optimus’ god.”

Zeke looked at Primus in horror while Primus was surprised.

“Optimus taught you well,” Primus remarked, “But this does not change your current situation.”

Eren began gasping for air as Primus let go of his shirt. He kicked and struggled as an invisible force wrapped around his neck and began choking him.

“I have made my decision: I will kill the both of you, and I will put an end to the titans forever,” Primus declared.

Super rushed. No major impact. This was the first rough draft that I had when writing the ending moment of chapter 90. Primus is still interacting in human form and while I did have Eren be the one to put the pieces together on Optimus' identity, I figured it would be better if he had Primus' name to go off of in order to put those pieces together.

The second revision of the scene is this:

Eren ripped his hands out of his chains, tearing off his thumbs in the process. He ran towards Ymir, hoping to somehow stop her. As he reached out towards Ymir, almost being able to grab her, a blue chain wrapped tightly around his wrist and yanked him to the ground. Eren was in shock, and quickly tried to pull off the chain, but that only made it tighter. Eren cried out in pain, but still tried to reach for Ymir. Eren began choking as a blue chain wrapped around his neck, and pulled him back. Eren still tried to reach out and grab Ymir, but he couldn’t move. He...was going to fail. Zeke was going to win. It was over.

Eren was then shocked as someone stepped out of the glowing tree. It was Primus. He came back. But how? How did he go through the tree? He didn’t understand! What shook him to his core even more was that Ymir stopped in her tracks directly in front of him. She began trembling before she dropped to her knees in submission. Primus didn’t seem to notice that as he glared at Eren with such ferocity. That same gaze was directed at Zeke behind him. His gaze then shifted towards Ymir, and his expression softened. Primus could still see Ymir trembling before an expression of recognition came across his face.

“It...it’s you,” Primus spoke, “Your...the Founder Ymir.”

Primus laughed in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. “Kruger, you were right. She was just a normal girl.”

Primus covered his mouth while tears brimmed around his eyes. He kneeled down and extended his arms towards Ymir and touched her cheeks.

“I have been looking for you for so long,” Primus smiled as he rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs, “You’re beautiful.”

Primus gently placed his forehead against her own in an act of comfort. He gently moved his head from side to side before kissing Ymir on her forehead. He then pulled Ymir into a tight hug and rocked her back and forth. He gently kissed her head before petting her hair.

“After two thousand years, I finally found you,” Primus declared.

Eren could see that Ymir stopped shaking. But she was still frozen. She didn’t know how to react to his act of kindness. She then slowly fell deeper into Primus’ touch. It almost looked like she would hug him back, but-

“Ymir, what are you doing?!” Zeke shouted as he ran towards the two, “I order you! Take the Eldian’s ability to reproduce! Do it now!”

Primus covered Ymir’s ears with one arm before extending his hand towards Zeke. Primus twisted his wrist and a stream of energy flew past Eren, nearly missing his face. It pierced Zeke through his chest, locking the Titan shifter in place. Zeke choked on his spit as Primus’ eyes began to...glow. Eren noticed that same venom in his eyes, but his expression immediately turned soft as he turned his attention back to Ymir.

“You must be very tired, Little One,” Primus began, Eren noting that his voice began to… change? “Rest, and I will return for you.”

Primus laid Ymir down in the sand, making sure to be as gentle as possible. He removed his jacket and placed it over Ymir like a blanket. Primus gave a small reassuring smile to her as he brushed her hair out her eyes. Ymir fell deep into the warmth of jacket and the being’s gentle touch and fell asleep. 

Eren watched Primus close his eyes in confliction before opening them once more. The outline of his iris and pupils were gone, and they shined a bright blue. Primus stood up and extended his fingers before pulling them to himself. Zeke was dragged forward towards him before Primus held out his hand, causing Zeke to stop right next to Eren. Primus grew angry as he took slow, calculated steps to Zeke. Eren grew fearful as blue energy poured out of his chest like air. It flowed around his arms and blue grew throughout his veins. Every step he took left small shockwaves of energy beneath him. Outlines of armor appeared around his arms and legs, and thorns seemed to appear surrounding his shoulders and back in a circle. He was looking less and less human by the second.

“Zeke Jaeger,”  Primus began, multiple voices now overlapping within the being.

Zeke was completely shocked while Eren stared in disbelief. He really did know his name, but refused to say anything until now?

“Son of Grisha Jaeger and Dina Fritz,” Primus continued, “Son to Tom Xaiver. Current holder of the Beast Titan. I once felt pity for you and your situation. You were nothing more than a child who could not fight his heritage, his situation, his creators.”

Primus clenched his fists, causing Zeke to cry out in pain. A small piece of an insect was removed from his chest, floating towards Primus and landing in his open palm.

“But, that feeling of pity is no more.” Primus declared, “You have infringed your own twisted will onto your own people without asking what they want. You force others to do your bidding while ripping away their own humanity. And now, you wish to take away the right to create new life. You are undeserving, and you are a coward who hides behind a noble cause. You do not deserve this power.”

Primus crushed the sphere in his hand, causing Zeke to scream and collapse. The stream between them was cut and faded into dust. Zeke forced himself to sit up, still seeing Ymir laying in the sand. He tried to call out to her, but his voice...was mute. He couldn’t speak, no matter how hard he tried. No matter what, he couldn’t address Ymir.

Zeke turned and looked up to Primus in pure fear. “What did you do to me?”

“You may still have the powers of the Beast Titan, but you no longer have any connection to your royal blood,” Primus declared, “You will never speak to the child ever again.”

Eren grew stiff, staring at Primus with terror as the beings walked over to him and looked him dead in the eyes while he was in his chains.

“Eren Jaeger: son of Grisha Jaeger and Carla Jaeger,” Primus began, “Inheritor of the Attack Titan and the Founding Titan. I am a being that is responsible for creating life, unlike my brother, Unicron. I hold compassion for every being regardless if they are my own creation or not, and I would only raise my blade to those who would threaten that life. I would never take the life of those of the weak or the innocent.”

Primus bent down and stared at Eren with verocious hatred. “However, you are an exception.”

Eren screamed as Primus caused the chains to burn his wrist and neck. Primus flicked his hand and another chain wrapped around Eren’s other wrist. All three chains pulled Eren back and left his chest wide open. Eren tried to focus as Primus raised his hand. The energy surrounding it grew brighter and brighter as he plunged it towards Eren’s chest. Zeke quickly jumped and grabbed Primus’s arm, stopping him mere inches from his chest. Primus turned his gaze to Zeke, and he nearly wanted to drop right there.

“Zeke Jaeger, your punishment was light,” Primus told him, now a woman’s voice coming out of him, “I would suggest that you refrain from this conflict before I take the amount of lives you took into consideration for your punishment.”

“Y-you can’t,” Zeke pleaded, terrified out of his mind, “I need Eren. I have to save Eldia-,”

“By initiating the plan to prevent Eldia from creating new life,” Primus cut off, a deep male voice emanating from him, “Who gave you the right to make that choice for your people?”

Eren was both terrified and confused out of his mind. Where did all this power come from? Why was he using it now? Wait!...he said his brother was…Unicron? The god of destruction from Optimus’ world? Why the hell would Primus call him...brother?

Eren felt his stomach drop and an abyss of despair came into his mind. This...couldn’t be real. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real! He was going to die! All this time, they were with a higher being! They were with a god!

“Who…?” Zeke let go of Primus and stumbled back into the sand, “Who the hell are you?”

Zeke desperately crawled backward. “I’m of royal blood, but not once have you heeded my orders. You...just came out of the Paths, and...you took my power? Who are you?! How do you know me?! How do you know my story?!”

“Even if I told you,” Primus began, the multiple voices overlapping once more, “You wouldn’t know. It wouldn’t make much of a difference.”

“Y-you…,” Eren choked on his spit as he struggled to breathe, “You said that...Unicron was your brother. That name…Optimus s-aid is the god of chaos and destruction. His blood is currently in Megatron right now-!”

Eren bent over and choked on his spit. He took deep breaths before looking up at Primus. “So the only one who would be able to counteract destruction would be a god of creation.”

“God?” Zeke stared up at Primus in horror.

“You...created Cybertron. You...are Unicron’s sworn enemy. You...created the Primes, including Optimus. You...are Primus: the god of creation, and the god of Cybertron.”

Zeke’s whole body was shaking as he stared at Primus. That had to be wrong. Those titans can’t have gods, could they? And if so, what was one doing here? This had to be a joke; Eren had to be toying with him. He-

“Optimus taught you well,” Primus spoke, “I should have expected that from his own student.”

Zeke shook his head in disbelief. Oh no! All this time, all the times this man was playing coy with them, pretending to be weak and defenseless! He was lying?! He was a god this whole time?!

“Y-you can’t be a god-,” Zeke stuttered, truly scared, “You’re just-...what?”

“One tends to be more honest when they don’t recognize a god in the room,” Primus declared, “But what’s done is done. Now, I will take the Little One with me. I will kill you, Eren Jaeger, and I will end the power of the Titans forever.”

There's more weight, more force, Primus is showing off his power instead of still being in human form. However, with Eren, instead of Primus having controlled anger with Eren, I wanted him to feel rage and fury for Eren. That got me reworking a few other things, like making Primus lack knowledge about the AOT world and about Optimus actually being on that world until Eren blabs about it in a rage.

There were a few other scenes that got reworked, but not too much in order to make a significant difference to put here, like Eren and Primus' conversation atop of Grisha's house, which was initially atop of the wall before Primus revealed his name. Zeke actually getting physical with Primus after the deity says Grisha is a good man. The festival scene and Grisha and Carla's conversation didn't have a previous rough draft, but it was something that I have thought about.

Anyway, that's all I have. Enjoy! I'll talk about chapter 91 alternate scenes another day!

[kaybaeisgay]

alright here we go…. these are my One Piece: Live Action thoughts and critiques now that i’ve finished binge watching the show!

overall rating is a 6.5/10 on a Netflix original scale with some episodes being below that and some being above. (EDIT: before you throw tomatoes pls know that i highly enjoyed it!!!!! just had some thoughts on how it could have been improved in my own humble opinion!!)

(spoilers under cut)

initial praises:

the FUCKING CAST. they are all so good!!!! i admittedly had low expectations for some characters prior to watching (i.e. shanks, mihawk, garp) due to how iconic and mysterious they are, but i feel like they all did a phenomenal job bringing these characters to life

THE STRAW HAT CHEMISTRY. from the second i saw the cast interviews, i knew they were gonna be perfect, but the core cast truly was brilliant together

BUGGY 🗣️🗣️🗣️ listen. i’ve always been a buggy denier…… i understood the Power of His Ponytail for others, but never really got it for myself. that being said…….. JEFF WARD POPPED OFF. imo buggy had potential to be either just okay or the worst part of the show. and jeff, my guy, you knocked it out of the fucking park

visuals!!!!! the practical set was beautiful, and the coloring was so perfect for how fantastical the one piece world is. it was really immersive and i was super impressed!

makeup and costumes were fabulous. i know people clowned arlong’s design from the trailers, but i always really liked it bc of its practical effects and watching his full performance in the show was icing on the cake. the fishmen all looked incredible! absolutely spot on from the costume and makeup departments

drunk usopp???? need it like i need air

suave but unpervy sanji???? please, oda, bring him back i BEG

luffy’s curly hair 😭

zoro and nami’s interactions?? chef’s kiss. loved how they made each other work for their trust and friendship

all the little cameos to diff characters in wanted posters

the cgi they did use looked so fucking flawless. like the sea king and buggy’s devil fruit? it was truly a spectacle

the bad and the ugly:

the writing. i have to say, while i thought some parts were fine, i thought other aspects of the writing (namely the parts NOT written by oda) were lacking and stereotypical. it seemed like there was a real need in the writers room to spell everything out for the audience about the one piece world, when i really don’t think that is necessary. part of the charm is how whimsical the world is and how unhurried the east blue beginning arc felt. and they inserted a lot of weird bullshit i felt didn’t fit the original story

on that same note: the straw hat bonding was weak imo. i am a nami-stan to the day i die, but i really felt like they used her character to override the developments between luffy and the other straw hats. i think having nami present in axe-hand morgan’s base with luffy/zoro immediately discredited the initial bond that the two boys were supposed to have. i get why they did it, and i never thought i’d see the day where i wouldn’t want to see more nami, but i feel like her presence during that moment, her convo with kaya, and her staying for baratie really stole important bonding moments from luffy and each of the boys.

similar to that: luffy’s characterization. (note: i adore iñaki! this has nothing to do with him, just how the writers wrote luffy.) i don’t think the writers knew how to approach writing luffy or even zoro for that matter—which, to be fair, they are difficult characters to write. but i think they got very focused on trying to explain or make sense of luffy for the viewers when i truly think the appeal to pre-time skip op is how both the audience and the straw hat crew are constantly learning more and more about who luffy is through his actions. and in tandem, they didn’t know how to flesh out luffy and zoro’s relationship. where animanga luffy and zoro are bonded because they innately seem to just get one another, i think the LA writers didn’t trust that either their script or the actors portraying them could get that across as well without having them literally spell it out for us. and in turn, i think it really watered down their connection when that bond should be one of the absolute strongest.

okay i’m beginning to realize that all my critiques have to do with writing

like, they didn’t show us how much each village comes to love the straw hats???? which is a HUGE part of why we and everyone in the world adores them??????????

little (and big) things about the characters that got lost in the LA: zoro’s sense of humor, usopp’s love of bugs (seriously, he wouldn’t be spooked by a damn spiderweb, cmon), nami being a weather prodigy, usopp being a sniping prodigy, bellemere and nojiko having hope bc infant nami was laughing, luffy only doing stuff bc he wants to, luffy and zoro not caring about the details of nami’s history, sanji bonding w luffy bc he was strong and kind and joining because luffy asked him to, helmeppo’s falling out w his father (like if you’re gonna put so much of him in there at least set up his backstory correctly???), arlong seeing zoro’s wound from mihawk, arlong park walk???!, and so many other things honestly…..

in general, the whimsy of the world was lacking. so much of what sets one piece (especially at the beginning) apart from other shows is how much fun it is. i get that netflix wanted to netflixify this world, but that’s not why we fell in love w the show. we want to see them goofing off, we want to see all the silly, ridiculous jokes. we want the hilarity of it all and how each character (no matter how cool) is still subject to being a fool at times. usopp’s character really brought a lot of life to the show after he was introduced, which i am infinitely grateful for, but i think the writers forgot the core of the show: the fun of it all.

OH. and here is my biggest gripe of them all……. THE FUCKING MARINES. like holy shit, i didn’t realize i was watching a fucking military propo??? i understand they wanted to make koby more relevant for the story but fuck, did we really need fifteen minutes every episode dedicated to the marines???? i loved koby and garp’s actors, but all the focus on them (WHEN THEY ARENT EVEN IN THE EAST BLUE MUCH AT ALL) really soured me on their characters tbh. they robbed us of so much time that could have been spent on any of the above issues listed just for the sake of adding fish-eye-lens close-ups of them shootin’ the shit with each other. it’s like they didn’t want new viewers becoming unsympathetic to the fucking military even tho oda specifically wrote marines as antagonists lmao. truly, i think all the issues i had w the show could have been fixed if they simply didn’t make so much of it about garp and koby.

along w that thought: someone—anyone—please tell me why they needed a garp and luffy confrontation in this first fucking season. please, help me understand. because imo, that was the most atrocious thing they could have done. they literally cut out KEY PARTS to the arlong park arc just to make room for it. the arlong park bit was so badly fumbled imo. making nojiko and the villagers actually hate nami instead of pretending to??? TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO. saying nami asked to join arlong instead of him forcing her to?? FUCKING AWFUL. having luffy chase nojiko down for the story instead of his “i don’t need to know it, i just need her to rely on us”???!!!! fine, go ahead and erase a crucial part of his character. and don’t even get me started on how garp’s moment completely replaced nami’s iconic “goodbye” to coco village and genzo telling luffy not to make her cry. seriously, i could go on for hours about those episodes alone.

additionally, they made the whole “luffy didn’t tell us about his grandpa being a marine” thing like an issue in the crew when that is not at all how it should have gone. the entire point of garps original intro as luffy’s grandpa in animanga is that we AND the straw hats have spent enough time with luffy to understand that he doesn’t say more than what needs to be said. while we were all surprised, no one (not even his crew) are upset about him withholding that. so to introduce garp so early in the plot and then make it a whole moment of dissent for the crew is fucked up and pointless.

i really think they only added so much of the marines because they were worried there weren’t enough “stakes” to push luffy and the crew forward in the narrative, but that is utter bullshit because the ENTIRE point of the east blue arc is that it’s BEFORE luffy ever has a bounty—before he ever is being truly chased—so EVERYTHING he does is simply for the pure sake that he WANTS TO. and that is precisely why each crew member loves him. that’s why WE love him.

last but not least: where tf was hatchan??? ☹️

overall, my problem with the LA so far is that i feel as if the writer’s don’t have a full grasp on the straw hats, and while they were writing the story, things that should’ve been central to their personas got left behind. it felt like since they didn’t feel like they understood luffy as a character, they tried to overcompensate by making him into something he isn’t.

the outline for everything was there and i think it was still a very fun watch, but im left longing for the magic and catharsis of the original story. in the end, it was entertaining but really just made me want to rewatch the anime to get the full effect of oda’s wonderful storytelling

[jj-shubert-writes]

Exciting Announcement!

*Which will only probably be significant to myself

I have made the vainglorious, selfish, spendthrift, and naively overoptimistic decision to get prints of the Rat Race Chronicles.

Some background information:

I wrote 7 novels averaging about 200k words each over the course of my teenage years because that's what happens when you give a young fellow a laptop with parental restrictions. Highly recommended.

They are TRASH. I was NOT one of the magical 14-year-olds worldly enough to make wise commentary about the state of society. It's a sci-fi YA series about criminal teenagers in a secret country who are in the fight of their lives for no good reason, complete with outdated references, implicit biases, unquestioned worldviews, problematic behavior, bad science, and way too many characters.

I made the mistake of trying to get the first two books published and worked with a vanity press before I realized my mistake. I lost thousands of dollars and saw almost none of it back. It was bar none the worst financial decision I have ever made.

All that being said, I still care about it. It was what my original blog was based on, and it was how I made writer friends a long time ago, and a lot of people liked the janky stories, and I think the ideas have merit. They were just executed poorly. By a stress-addled teenager with no internet access.

I want to completely rewrite the entire thing some day. Cuz I guess I'm a masochist or something.

But I have printed copies of all the other first drafts of my novels. It's always felt like a loose end that I don't have copies of the RRC.

The planned solution:

I am going to reread the entirety of the Rat Race Chronicles.

I will lightly proofread for obvious mistakes and things that make me gag, but I will keep as much of the original bullshit intact as possible.

I will share highlights on the blog here! I'll try to be more active on Tumblr again.

I'm going to format and print the seven books with the self-made covers I low-key love.

Then, once I have the originals lovingly preserved, I will have the headspace to mercilessly tear them apart and restructure everything in a way slightly more fitting of the skills I've refined over the last 10+ years. I've already got that started. Most of what's changed so far seems to be the writing itself, not so much the ideas...heaven help me, maybe I can cut a few characters and plot points.

IDK maybe publish a second edition of everything 60 years from now, who knows.

TLDR: Stay tuned, because the Ancient Texts are about to see daylight once more!

[yandere-mha-blog]

Part five

Word count: 2361

And with this Dabi and y/n relationship has been more on display and i think i added a couple things that people will like, and changed how the parents act cause int he original story it was a bit wishy washy, but hey that's what's this rewrite is for :D

And hope you have liked the changes i made, and like, reblog and comment if you could it would mean a lot :3

It had been about four months since you moved in with Dabi officially, you were still going to school, you told Dabi you just wanted to graduate highschool and that would be that. Dabi tried more than once to tell you to just drop out, but you were still headstrong on your one goal to just graduate and leave, and it was December now, so you were almost done with this hell hole.

“Okay everyone pencils down.” your homeroom teacher said, even though you had finished the test thirty minutes prior. Man finals dy sucked, you took your phone out after class and texted dabi

“Hey, the dumb test is finally over, thank god.”

“Why would you even take it, seems like a waste of time.”

“I know, but it's just a mandatory bullshit thing to graduate, Can you come get me please.”

“Me and Kenny will be right there.”

You smiled at your phone when a classmate walked out of the room, she saw you and quickly looked away, mostly in fear, you rolled your eyes and went to the washroom, the girls saw it was you dn quickly left.

Finally no one was messing with you, you finally had some peace at school, then your phone buzzed you looked down it was from your mom, she sent the occasional text seeing if you were okay

“Hey sweetie how did your testing go?”

“Fine.”

“Oh that's great, look me and your dad were doing some cleaning and we found some stuff you might want to take with you when you graduate.” 

“Just bring it to graduation.”

“Okay if that's what you want i'll see you then.”

Your phone buzzed from dabi, he was already here, you walked out of the school and went to kenny's car

“Hi kenny.” you said and sat in the back “Agh i'm so glad testing is finally done.”

“How do you think you did?” Kenny asked

“Eh fine, it was really easy.” you said 

“Hey wait Dabi why didn't you go to the test?” Kent asked

“Why bother with some dumb testing.” Dabi said, “Come on, let's go to our usual spot.”

Your parents got a letter in the mail a week after your testing, they were so proud to see you scared in ninth place out of your school, and were eligible to go to college

“Oh thank god she didn't throw away her chances.” Your mom said and your dad sat down and opened his computer “What Are you doing honey?”

“Well if our little girl isn't going to apply for college, then i will, she wrote her college application statement in her second year, i'm sure with a couple of edits i can get her in.”

“...im really worried about her, i was to-”

“No…no you weren't, whoever this Dabi guy is, saw her in an emotional state and decided to exploit her…we can't blame anyone but him.” Your dad explained as she looked at your instagram account, photos of you and Dabi were all she saw.

“Even when she does get accepted by one of these colleges…what makes you think she will go…”

“Because our girl is smart.” Your dad said as he kept typing away on his computer.

As you sat on the uncomfortable chair as the headmaster droned on about how far everyone has come, you were looking at your phone texting Dabi on how boring this all was.

“Told you that you should have ditched.” 

“Eh just need the dumb piece of paper and im done.”Finally your name was called and you grabbed the piece of paper and walked off the stage and decided to ditch the rest of the ceremony, the student body all look at you as you left, you continued to text dabi that you got the damn thing.

“(name).” you heard your mom voice say

“Huh..mom , dad? What are you two doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“It's your graduation day so of course we would be here.” Your dad said

“Well it's over now.” you said

“Well I'm very happy that you finished highschool, and we know that you are living with your…boyfriend.” Your mom said through her teeth “but we wanted to give you a bag with some stuff you might want.

“Oh…thanks.” you said as you took the bag 

“Take care now.” your dad and put a hand on your forehead “call us if you need anything.” “Anything at all.” your mom added, and they reluctantly left, you sat on the bench, not wanting them to go.

You looked through your bag, your eyes widened as you saw your old novel you were working on, and your old notes, a handkerchief you embroidered, and an acceptance letter!

“Hey (name)!' Kent yelled “Dabi said I should come get you, he is going to bring you home some grub!”

“Hi kenny!” you said and put the letter in the bag and he drove you back to Dabis’ place. 

You looked down at the acceptance letter, you wouldn't believe it, how were you even accepted..was it your parents? Had to be, no one at school would have, you didn't, and Dabi wouldn't  have.

The door opened and you put the letter back in the bag.

“I'm home.” Dabi said as he sat across from the table and set a bag of food down “I got us dinner.”

“Thank you.” You said as you opened the bag and took your portion

“So how did the dumb graduation go?” Dabi asked

“Fine, my parents showed up.” You said , Dabi looked up and you continued, “They came by to give me a bag of some old stuff.”

“Dumping garbage on you?” Dabi said, “That's not very nice.”

“No not garbage, just some old novel notes, and a couple of -”

“It's trash.” Dabi said as he continued to poke at his food

“Well, they also delivered one more thing.” You said “I got a college acceptance letter.”

“You what?” Dabi said 

“I know i am just as surprised as you, i didn't even apply for any-” “So what your parents applied you to a bunch of shitty ass collages behind your back?”

“I think it's there way of trying to make amends-”

“Bullshit, they are just trying to put you back into the system that tormented you for so long, I mean think about your classmates in highschool, do you think any of them would change?”

“Dabi, think about it, if I go to college I could learn more and maybe get a novel published.”

“Since when have you ever wanted to publish a novel?"

“It's…been my dream for a while.” you said, how did Dabi not know that?

“You don't need college to write a novel.” Dabi said “Just stay here and work on it, I can get you a new laptop if you want.”

“Dabi…i want to go to college.” you said and he tossed his fork in his plate of food, you felt like sinking into a hole “It could be-”

“Shut up i'm thinking.” he snapped, you flinched “you know what get out.”

“What?” you said “dabi what are you saying?”

“I said get the fuck out of my apartment, after everything ive fucking done for you.’ He said as he tossed your shoes at you “Get the fuck out!”

“Dabi hey…come on Toya.’

“Don't you dare call me that name.” He barked

“Dabi come on if i go i can make some more money and-”

“I have money, why would you need to make your own, what you want more, oh i see i haven't been giving you enough.”

“Dabi that's not what i'm saying at all, i mean you do pay for everything, so maybe i can help out after-”

“After, after what, I don't care, GET OUT!” he yelled, he grabbed your arm and yanked you up

“Ow dabi you are hurting me.” you yelped out

“Don't care.” He said and tossed you out “we are fucking done, get the hell out of my face you traitor.”

“Dabi wait!” you yelled as he slammed the door in you face, you banged on the door

“Dabi please let me in, come on!” you bawled“Please let me in…dabi please!”

Nothing..

“Dabi please it's late and the trains aret running, i don't have money where am i supposed to go!”

You waited outside the door for about an hour, your phone was dead just to add the cherry on top, you  decided to go to the only palace you could think of.

“This show isn't any good, completely unrealistic.” Your mom said

“I don't know, it seems pretty real to me.” your dad replied, as there was a knock on the door “Who could that be?”

He got up and went to the door and saw you standing there, ready to hear “I told you so”. But instead he pulled you in for a hug

“Dad?” you said “i messed up…”

“Who was it- (Name)?” your mom said walking over and putting a hand on your cheek “Oh it really is you, why are you soaked?

“I had to walk here..i…i messed up real bad didn't I?” you sniffled into your dads shoulder

“Hey hey, it's okay you are home now.” He said

“Look I'll run you a nice bath and then we can talk, come on honey let's go.” She said as your dad took your bag, you entered the family wash room and sunk into the hot tub, it felt good to warm up.

“How stupid can i be?” you thought as you mom set a pair of your old pjs on the other side, the familiar pinkish white fabric was welcoming, you went to the dining room where both your parents sat at the table, your mom pushed a bowl of miso soup towards you,you took a sip.

“So….sweetie, what happened?”

“I told dabi I got accepted to college and wanted to go.” you started your hand shaking “He got really mad and kicked me out, then said we were over…”

“You still want to go to college?” Your mom asked, and you nodded your head

“I do.” you sniffled “Still how exactly did an idiot like me get accepted, you were right dad, this all blew up in my face.”

“It's not your fault, we are just both glad you are home.” He said “and I'm glad you came back to your senses.”

You let out a small snort of a laugh, same old blunt humor from him, you went back to your room, it still looked the same way it did when you left. You plugged your dead phone in and waited for it charge, no new messages.

You went to your instagram account and pressed delete account, then you went to your contacts and pressed delete all messages, blocked and deleted Dabis number. You went into your notes app, something you haven't done for a while

“I messed up.”

Was all you could write down and pulled yourself into a coconut of blankets, the familiar smell of the clothing detergent lulled you into sleep.

Dabi woke up the next morning and went to his phone, he wondered how many texts and calls you have sent him.

None.

“What the fuck?” he mummbled and called you

“Sorry the number you re trying to reach is either o longer in service or has been-”

“Beep”

Dabi went to instagram and saw your account was gone, his eyes widened, no you wouldn't have blocked him, you loved him, you said you loved him, you said you would do anything for him, you are the one who broke your promise not him.

He threw his phone at the wall and got out of bed and went to get dressed, he headed to his usual spot and saw kenny passed out in one of the booths

“Hey, wake up!” Dabi said

“Hngh..what i don't have any money man…” kent mumble and Dabi smacked him

“Ack, dude what the hell?” Kent said as he jolted up

“Where is (name)s address?” dabi asked

“Uhhh…yours?’ Kent said

“No her old house you idiot!” Dabi said

“Uhh…i don't remember i mean it was like…four-ish months ago.” Kent said, Dabis’ eye twitched

“You're as useless as always.’

“Hey man, that's mean.” Kent said “Why do you even need to know?”

“Because I tossed her out last night.” Dabi said

“...you did what?’ Kent asked “Why…why would you do that?” “She was acting crazy.” Dabi explained

“Got it, (name) was acting crazy.” Kent said nodding his head

“You're mocking me?’ Dabi asked and grabbed his shirt collar

“What no of course not, i mean i'm sure she will call you, it was just a tiny fight right.”

“I told her it was over.” Dabi said

“Okay now I am really confused.” Kent said as Dabi released him

“You wouldn't get it, since you know you have never been in a relationship.” Dabi said as he took out a cigarette

“That was a low blow.” Kent said

“I think she blocked me so you call her for me.” dabi said as he took one long inhaul of his cigarette.

“Alright what is it?” Kent said as he took his phone out.”

You woke up to your phone ringing, you groaned and looked at the unknown number, and saw that dabi tried to call you earlier, you rolled your puffy eyes and pressed block number.

“Well she didn't pick up.” Kent said

“Try again.’ Dabi said, kent shrugged and tried calling yet again

“Sorry the number you're trying to reach has either been-”

“Beep”

“I think she knows it's you trying to contact her…” kent exasperated 

“FUCK!” Dabi yelled out and put his cigarette out on the ashtray

'Well what college did she say she wanted to go to?’ Kent asked

“I don't know!” Dabi yelled “would you just shut up.”

“Okay okay…” Kent said 'Look I'm sure something about her will pop up soon, I'll keep my eyes out okay.’

“You better.” Dabi said as Kent gulped at his threat “what good are your eyes if you can't use them.”

[hazardworld]

Dustin's a Damn Good Ally (Original) Pt. 2

Chapter 2— Twins and Poly-nailery

Ao3 Link

Originally Posted 1.1.23/Edited 9.1.23

Summary: Max has a lot of shit going on in her life

(Queer author saying queer is used both positive and negative here)

———

Dustin met Mad Max when she moved to Hawkins in 8th grade. Why her parents (or mom and stepdad) chose to move from fancy California to bum-fuck-nowhere Indiana beat him, but alas, they had, and it had brought Dustin one of his best, closest friends.

Originally, Dustin believed he had a crush on her. Soon, he realized that feeling of jealousy, of passion to prove himself, and burning love…wasn’t exactly romantic. It was 100% familial, and after the Snow Ball fiasco and the second (and hopefully last) edition of traumatic bullshit that was the Upside Down, Dustin, Max, and Steve became a little unit of melancholy daddy issue holders.

So, Max and Dustin got really damn close. Close enough that Dustin started to learn her quirks and mannerisms, how to tell if she was nervous or excited, and how to tell if she liked you or if she was just flat-out annoyed.

In the summer of 1985, Dustin noticed her becoming closer with El, and close in a way Max had only been before she started dating Lucas.

So that was something.

More and more, on his off time from dealing with the Russians and contacting Suzie, he’d see the two together, easily brush off-able as besties or bffs, but Dustin knew Max better than that.

So he did his research, because he wanted to support his sister as much as possible. Even if she didn’t know what she was feeling, he wanted to make sure she knew he loved her for it.

In 1976, David Bowie came out as bisexual.

Perfect.

Bisexuality meant she could like both Lucas and El, boys and girls.

However, that was a long shot. Maybe Max was completely over Lucas, or maybe she wanted to try something new, or maybe she didn’t even catch how her feelings were absolutely more than platonic.

So, all Dustin had to do was confront her about it, or…confront really wasn’t the right word, it made it all seem threatening and angry; Max already got enough of that in her life.

He was…talking…to her about it.

Talking worked!

Yeah.

Dustin had no idea what would happen with Billy, though.

He couldn’t predict the grief that would strike her for weeks, making her unattainable. He could understand, though, and knew to give her space. A sexuality crisis could wait until after a grief one.

It was well into September, now, a few weeks after their first day of high school, when Dustin and Max found themselves alone (or, semi-alone, Steve was downstairs in the kitchen) in Max’s new designated bedroom in the Harrington mansion.

Dustin was jealous as hell for that, side note. He knew the reason why she got it, and knew it wasn’t a great reason by any means, but he was still mad as hell Max now got to live with Steve and he didn’t. (Though he’d spend enough time there in the next few weeks for it to become their room, but he didn’t know that yet).

Dustin knew this was probably a good time to bring up the conversation he’d been putting off for about a month and a half, now, when the two of them were calm, sitting on Max’s big comfy bed. They were listening to music from an old record player, Max painting his nails a pretty purple (Eddie, the new DM at school, wore nail polish, and it was so cool).

"Hey, Max, I have a question." She looked up from his hands, eyebrows raised, and made questioning 'hmm' sound. "You…you know it’s ok if you like, girls, right?" He saw the panic immediately form on her face, "I don’t judge you, love is love…I think the saying is. Not sure." She blinked.

"I’m—I’m not gay!" So she didn’t know what bisexual meant, ok. Dustin could work with that!

"You can like guys and girls, Max. I’ve seen the way you look at Lucas and El, and it’s the same," Max’s cheeks flushed red, and her freaked gaze started to soften.

"You can…do that?" Dustin nodded, smiling slightly.

"David Bowie’s bisexual, so yeah, I think you can." Max blinked again, brow furrowing.

"Bisexual?"

"Bi, two, sexual, sexually attracted to." Dustin shrugged, "That’s the word he used to describe it, anyway." Max slowly closed the polish bottle, curling her knees to her chest in front of Dustin.

"I was so confused, I thought there was something wrong with me!" Dustin grinned.

"There’s nothing wrong with you, Max,"

"I like Lucas, and I knew I liked El, but I didn’t know if that meant if I was gay or…well, I guess you can see how that turned out, huh." They both laughed, but Dustin paused.

"You still like Lucas?" Max nodded.

"Yeah, uh, it’s weird but…I like them both? And I don’t want to have to choose, because they’re both amazing—"

"Polyamory." Max froze, eyes wide, jaw slightly dropped, "You have two hands, Max." Dustin grinned, slightly maliciously.

"Is that…there’s a term for feeling like that?" Dustin shrugged.

"I think that’s it. My mom taught it to me on the way back from camp, something about Suzie and Mormons and standards," He waved his hand, disregarding the topic, "Dunno. Either way, I think you should love whoever the fuck you want, and if it’s Lucas and El?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just don’t do it in the bed, man. I’m not sleeping over again if you do!" Max made a disgusted sound, and the two of them laughed.

"I’d hug you right now if your hands weren’t still drying, asshole," Dustin snickered, then his eyes widened.

"Also? Steve’s safe. Can’t really explain why, but…he won’t judge. He may be a little confused, though." Max nodded. "Wanted you to know since you’re staying here, now."

"Thanks," Dustin grinned.

"Anytime, sis."

———

Your honor, these are twins. No, I will not defend myself: this is a fact.

I've seen so many "Dustin is Steve's child" and "Max is Steve's child" to which I say "they are the trio of melancholy daddy issue holders and they are all siblings and Claudia is their Ma.

Chapter 1/6———Chapter 3/6

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 37 Review

Originally posted January 24th, 2016

Without Goku, Team Four Star focuses on their interesting characters.

Last week I spent a paragraph (justifiably) complaining about Toriyama’s decision to take Goku out of the fight with a bullshit plot contrivance, yet I praised Team Four Star for doing their best to tie the contrivance to character driven humor. I still stand by what I said, of course, but “Catch Me If You Can-droid” has shown me that my complaints may only need to be applied to the plot of the source material, as even without Goku, Team Four Star1 is more comfortable telling their story than ever.

Now, perhaps you could chalk this up to “Can-droid” finally providing the payoff for the androids being ridiculously underpowered, and while that’s certainly a part of it, as all of the tension in the episode comes from whether or not Gero can get away from our protagonists or not, with it immediately fizzling when he is discovered by Gohan, I’d argue that it’s also the result of Team Four Star being relieved at not having to deal with their most uninteresting character and all his associated plot contrivances.

That’s an odd thing to say in an episode that intentionally destroys all of its tension for its other characters, but that lack of tension is earned, as it’s been slowly established over the past few episodes that the androids they’ve been fighting haven’t been nearly the threat Trunks made them out to be.

Goku’s presence, on the other hand, automatically removes any semblance of tension, as the show has now proven twice that he’s guaranteed victory, even in circumstances where by all account he should be dead (see: Muffin Button).2 Not having Goku around means that they’re free to focus on the characters who have to work to achieve the power they do; they’re free to focus on humans instead of a demigod.

And since they’re focusing on humans, Trunks’ arrival and declaration that they’ve been fighting the wrong androids is a gut punch, as the last two episodes have let our protagonists (and us by extension) feel deservedly overpowered only to discover that they didn’t “over train for this,” as they’ve yet to encounter the enemies that are an actual threat. The stakes are immediately reestablished, and it’s at this perfect moment that Gero shows his power is due to his cleverness, as he takes this perfect opportunity to escape and potentially kill Bulma, Yajirobe, and Baby Trunks. Now that Goku is out of the way, shit can finally get real.

Rating: 4.5/5

If you enjoyed this review, consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

1It’s feels odd to call Team Four Star a singular entity, especially as we get further into the series, as I know that Scott “KaiserNeko” Frerichs is responsible for more of the writing, recording, and editing workload than anyone else (I feel decently comfortable saying he’s their equivalent to a showrunner from season 3 onward), but there aren’t any particular credits listed on the episodes, so I can’t really give credit where it’s specifically due.

2Again, not criticizing Team Four Star here, especially since as I mentioned before, they managed to actually imbue tension in Goku’s fight with Freeza. I’m criticizing Toriyama for writing a completely unbeatable character whose victories come by ancient prophecy and plot contrivance, rather than actual developed effort. I am also aware of the end of the Cell Saga, and yes, Toriyama deserves credit for ending it the way he did.

Vegeta: “When a goddamn Super Saiyan asks you for a Senzu you say ‘How many?’”

Vegeta: “Energy sensing is bullshit.”

Vegeta: “Get out here and fight me blindly like a man!”

Piccolo: “Call me the can opener, because I’m about to bust open your metal ass.” Vegeta: “Yeah, how about we leave the one liners to me?”

Domo Arigato is the song playing over the radio in Bulma’s car. I am pleased.

Bulma: “Did you know I never even saw Freeza? Not even once?” Yajirobe: “I’m pretty sure no one ever complained about not meeting Hitler.”

Yajirobe: “Have you ever seen what an all Senzu bean diet does to a man?” Bulma: “What?” Yajirobe: “Korin likes it.”

Piccolo: “That’s the android.” Trunks: “No, it’s not.” Gero: “Yes, I am.”

[ghenry]

Looking back on 2022, and a lot has happened this year for me! Both personally and channel-wise. I figure I reflect a bit on most of this year's videos. So here we go!

Kick-Ass | What It Means To Be a Loser

This was definitely a video style I wasn't used to doing at all, I basically saw it as an exercise in reviewing both a film and a comic. And honestly, this was a huge headache to get done because of the copyright bullshit I had to deal with. Literally rendered it like 8 different times because of that shit. And it wasn't just a money issue, getting hit with copyright and demonetization means it won't show up on people's feeds so it's important to me that each video has the potential to get out there.

The video's point: The movie was missing a huge element that made the comic at least satisfactory for me, and that was the consistent tone of the characters being downtrodden 'losers.' Another way to put it would be human. Our faults, our insecurities, and our flaws are what make us human, so that being part of the characters made them more relatable, thus more likeable. But the movie wiped the main characters of their human characteristics almost completely. I got into detail how that's the case in the video.

I did my best also emphasizing that I wasn't merely saying "movie different from comic, so movie bad." I don't even like the Kick-Ass comic that much, so I felt I was going with a less biased perspective. I even brought up examples where I found the film adaptations of some comics to be huge improvements (Scott Pilgrim will always be the shining example). Regardless, people in the comments still accused me of saying "movie different from comic, so movie bad" which is kind of annoying, but that's my fault for expecting better from typical YT comments.

Still, the video was surprisingly a hit! I'm extremely dumbfounded so many people still seem to give a shit about Kick-Ass. It kind of motivates me to make a new video comparing the sequel comic and movie, but I hate both, so I don't see myself really bothering for a while. Also one other good thing, making a video centered around a comic and/or movie is soooo much easier than a video game in regards to footage. I don't have to sift through hours and hours worth of gameplay to find a specific clip for visual context, I just remember part of the movie/comic and go there lol

No Paradise | No More Heroes 3 Analysis

Now THIS was a fucking nightmare. In a good way, mostly. A 4.5 hour analysis that took every bit of my goddamn being to write, capture, and edit. Recording all of my voice was also done in one session too, but I hope my exhaustion near the end didn't reflect my performance.

I loved talking about NMH3 extensively too. I was also extremely happy to find a lot of nuance and complexity within the madness of this game. With the help of a few friends and long conversations, of course!

The point of the video: Travis is in hell, and is doomed to spend an eternity in this hell he locked himself in all the way back in the original game. Having this in mind adds contextual sense to the previous games as well, which helps with the arguments I provide. Not that I claim to be objectively correct, the reason for this analysis was to get people thinking and talking about the game. I think if I wanted to prove ANYTHING, it's that NMH3 isn't as simple and "senseless" as a lot of people were claiming it was. And it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Take it from me, an idiot.

I am extremely proud of how the video turned out. It might even be the best one I've done, but that's not to say I can't improve. I need to improve, and I'm trying to get better at this constantly. I picked up a lot of great editing skills while making this, and will pick up more as I go. And while I didn't upload a lot of videos this year . . . do you see how long this one was?! Idunno, I think this counts as like 6 separate uploads 🥸💀

The ONE feature I want to see in future run-gun games

This video I've actually had on my mind for a very long time, I just had to finally hunker down and make it a reality. I simply had a sneaking suspicion that a lot of indie devs might not be aware of an innovate design first seen in games like Alien Soldier or Contra Shattered Soldier, likely because those aren't the universally renown classics. I think I'm at least sort of right.

The point of the video: This is a "for your consideration" piece for indie devs planning to take on the run-n-gun genre with new games. I genuinely think this mechanic can take their future titles to the next level of feel-good gameplay!

Huntdown | Run-N-Gun Revolution

My closer for the year, another run-n-gun video I simply made for myself because I wanted to. Adrian Comeau, writer/community manager for Huntdown's dev team, randomly emailed me with some steam codes, presuming I was interested in trying the game out. And I'm glad he did, as I fell in love with nearly everything about Huntdown! It was also cool to interview Adrian to get further thoughts on the game.

The point of the video: Huntdown rocks and you're a fool if you haven't played it. It also has such a rich world coated in interesting characters. It helps that the game is fun to play and has an assortment of unique, challenging bosses all sprawling with personality.

So get yourself something nice for Christmas. Buy Huntdown on Steam. Or Switch. Or PS4. Or PS5. Or Xbox. It's probably on sale right now 🎅🎄🔫

So that's what I managed to do with my channel. I also did a video on Cuphead, but don't have too much to say as it was a very straightforward video. DLC good, but I'm ready for something new by MDHR.

I know I didn't upload a whole lot, but I'm happy with everything I put out. I feel like I need to take more time on these videos in order to further refine them properly. I have tons of ideas for new videos, and can't wait to make them a reality! But I also want to make sure they're of a standard I find satisfactory, while also raising said standards. I want to get better and better!

I hope all of you have enjoyed what I've been putting out, and are excited to see what else I have in store! Here's to 2023! 🎇🎆🚀

[jodilin65]

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1991 I’m getting on an overnight schedule again, but that’s the least of my worries and a joke compared to what’s been going on. Thank fucking God I didn’t have to go to court this Thursday as originally planned. For the Greenfield case, I won’t need to go until Nov. 15th. For Northampton, I’ll need to be in court on December 19th. In the meantime, Tammy and my lawyer spoke. They’re determined to try to get this dropped and Tammy explained how she wants me to move there and why. Tammy also told “Tracy” how pissed off she was about what happened at the Northampton Crisis Center and about Maliheh calling me.

Before I get into Maliheh and Northampton, the call from Tracy was about the dates among other things. I was told by Tracy that she’d spoken with the DA and is gonna try to get the police report, get my stuff back, and also check into the legality of the search warrant. I’m not a lawyer so I can’t possibly write all that was discussed but it was all quite positive.

Tammy feels the same way as I do. Yes, I made a prank call. Yes, Maliheh deserved it and called me, too. No, the taping will not hold up in court. I have the right to do as I please in the privacy of my own home. Also, Tammy says, “She made the calls to the company in the middle of the night. No one was there. She left edits on their machine so it’s petty bullshit and nonsense that they’re flipping out over.” Naturally, both Tracy and I agree.

There’s my present situation to consider, too. I’ve also decided to counter-file on Maliheh as well as Jenny. Even if Maliheh did not call me, the point is why is it that I always have to pay when both Maliheh and Jenny have fucked me over, too? From now on when people take me to court that have screwed me over, be it legally or not, they’re going through the mud and the hassle, stress and wasted time, too. I can see if I’ve called someone I’ve never met in my life who are total strangers like this company. However, the company got no threats and only got wacky shit on their machine.

Jenny’s gotten her warning, too. I called and her machine came on and I said, “I’ll see YOU in court. In Greenfield.” That little fuck has done shit to me just as well. Andy’s sending her a letter anyway. You know, the usual stuff. Lyrics and things that make absolutely no sense. Jenny’s letter from Andy and her subpoena will be sent to her parent’s house in W. Springfield as that’s the only address known to me. Jenny’s gonna flip when the little fuck sees it’s from Phoenix. If she suspects me, I don’t give a shit and I hope she does. Maybe twice a year, I’ll send her a note.

Maliheh would’ve gotten letters eons ago, but I never could get her address. I’ll let the courts do that. For the subpoena anyway.

I’m gonna go listen to some tunes and then I’ll write about Northampton crisis center and boy, do I realize more and more how lucky I was about that. My sister wasn’t too thrilled when I told her about that. With them, I mean.

I was supposed to go to court the day after that on the 24th. I went on the 25th, though. The night of the 24th was when I got 3 calls from an associate of Maliheh’s. Then on the 25th, when I was in court, I saw Detective M. Yup. Major butch. Not big and fat like Tracy K, but the sporty type. Thin athletic type butch you’d see playing tennis or soccer. Anyway, I’ll write more about it later.

Later…

Now, about the night of October 23rd. Well, I flipped. I totally lost it. Between court, being so isolated here and all the other issues that have been pissing me off for ages, I just lost it. I never cut myself but I was thinking about it. I was thinking about the last time I cut myself and one minute I’d beat myself up in my mind about it, the next I’d try to tell myself it happened and what was done was done and there was no way to undo what was done. Try to move on. I guess it’s just not always easy to block out unwanted thoughts. It sounds so easy saying, “Don’t think about it.” Well, it’s not. At times I feel as if there’s no escape from the present as well as the past. All I could remember was Tammy telling me how she indirectly blames me for my calls and how she blames Mom and Dad 100%. Tammy told Mom all about what’s going on and warned her immediately how she didn’t want to hear, “I told you. She has a problem.” Or anything about it other than her moving me down there. To CT, of course. Tammy said Ma was “amazingly calm” and just took it all in and hopefully I’ll be moving on January 1st. Besides having only two more months of isolation, no family or buses, there’s the financial part of it, too. This way, hopefully, I’ll only have two more months of struggling and I’ll only have to pay my electric and heat bill even though fuel assistance will be helping me. The phone will be free.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1991 I have a whole list of things to write about despite my boring no-life life. So if I remember, I’ll cover Maliheh and court and tonight’s event which never happened due to the curse on me. I guess that’s basically it, but there’s a lot to discuss on each of these things.

First, I’ll just say that my asthma’s doing better. Mark was a great help and a good support to me. The EMTs even told Mark he did the right thing as I needed oxygen and to go to the hospital. It was so scary and I was so bummed out about it that after they gave me the updraft and they left the room, I cried. Mark took care of letting the EMTs in and also locking the door after they took me away and calming Shadow down. He picked me up after and bought me coffee and himself some beer.

Later…

I just had a call from Andy and we talked for an hour. So anyway, I looked back in the previous journals and it looks like I never wrote about that dance I never got to. I’ll have to write all about that as well as tonight’s shit. I forget when it was but I know it was almost two weeks ago, I was supposed to go to a dance at the U-Mass campus center. I was to go alone, though, as Kim had a dinner party to attend in Northampton. She was gonna drop me off and pick me up later. I would’ve been nervous as all hell with her or a whole army of people I knew with me, but that made me even more nervous. However, I fully intended to go and was looking very forward to it seeing that it’s not a bar and it was a non-drug and alcohol deal. The night before we were supposed to go, I fell asleep early at around 10:30. I awoke with a horrible nightmare about Valleyhead at 3:00 in the morning. I tried to force myself back to sleep several times during the morning, afternoon and early evening but had no luck. Also, this particular nightmare only happens 1-3 times a year. After I left Valleyhead, I’d get it all the time for a year and a half, but of all times to get this nightmare! Finally, it hit me once again how something up there was trying to tell me something and is determined to stop me, no matter what. I can go food shopping, to the movies, the bank, anything that does not matter or that I don’t like. Never can I go out and have fun. I knew not to expect a one-nighter with an attractive woman. I knew to keep to myself, mind my own business and not approach anyone. All I was gonna do is get out of this God damn place as I feel like a caged animal. Is this a coincidence or a curse? It’s getting rather obvious now. Especially with what happened earlier tonight to screw up tonight’s plans. I hate knowing my worst fears are real. There are so many things a person can refuse to believe cuz they’re just so bizarre and incredible. We don’t want to believe them and we can’t believe them so we say it’s bad luck and coincidences that just happened for the hell of it till we’re proven beyond a reasonable doubt that it’s true. Curses are all too real and true no matter how scary and unreal the thought of it is.

Last week I saw an ad in the paper for a modeling seminar and search and I really wanted to go for the fun of it even if nothing came out of it. Kim was all excited about it, too. I called the number in the ad and right away I could tell it was safe and secure. The guy I spoke to told me it was at the Sheridan Tara in Springfield like the ad said. He said they had a nice brochure there and it was free unless you wanted pictures taken. He said you could talk to someone one-to-one on how to break into the business and what your potential is and it just seemed like it’d be a lot of fun. And it’s so closely related to music and I was told that’d help as well as the fact that there’s a large demand for petite models. We were supposed to be there at 7:45 tonight. I got up around 2:00, and as I was getting out of the shower and about to put on my makeup, I got this “feeling.” I told myself not to bother getting all decked out. All of a sudden, I couldn’t picture myself going and couldn’t understand why. This feeling of it not being meant to be grew stronger and stronger. I couldn’t figure out why as I was awake and feeling well and was wondering why I had to take another punishment. It wasn’t a gay dance or bar, but it was “modeling.” Not meant to be. That’s all I could feel and then suddenly I thought, oh no! He’s gonna go through Kim to stop me since whatever’s up there didn’t do anything to me.

Then the phone rang. Kim was in a car accident. She wasn’t hurt, but as she was pulling out of the parking lot at work, she got rear-ended. Now you call that bad luck on me? Just a coincidence? No way. I feel so fucking guilty and that’s all I kept telling her over and over. If I wasn’t going tonight, this would never have happened to her. Or if we were going food shopping or to the movies or some everyday thing. Something I hate such as the doctor’s appts. or something that I don’t hate but am not overly excited about. God, what did I do to deserve this? Once again, I believe he didn’t stop me cuz of something bad happening or cuz of nothing happening. I believe he prevented a good thing from happening. The same goes for the dance. At first, I thought nothing would have happened or I’d have some ugly butch or another so-so trying to pick me up. Uh-uh. An attractive woman was there that I would’ve gotten. It would’ve been mutual and I would’ve had my first one-nighter with someone attractive who wouldn’t have led me on and backed out. He stopped it. He stopped it all.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1991 Last night was the shittiest night of my life in so long. The morning of Oct. 22nd was a nightmare as well. Last Monday night as I was falling asleep, I was realizing how I’d only had two killer asthma attacks since I moved. I was thrilled about not only that but also about not getting one cold or flu after another. However, I had been more and more congested in the last few weeks. Sure enough, I woke up at 7:00 the next morning with a massive attack in which I knew instantly I’d never be able to fight on my own.

Later…

I’m taping a movie now and boy, did I ever get caught off guard for a minute. Some girl called that I wish to hell would call back. I don’t remember if the girl said my name. I don’t think so, but she said, “Remember me? You licked my pussy?” I told her to hang on so I could grab a cigarette and that’s when she hung up. I shouldn’t have told her to hang on cuz it scared her off. She was probably paranoid about being taped, but I’m dying for her to call back. I’m almost positive it’s a friend of Maliheh’s. My gut feeling says so and since I can’t make calls in a town like this, I’d like to at least be able to get them. A week after I met Maliheh is when the shit hit the fan and she freaked out on me. It was then that I not only began to call her but for some reason she had a friend leave her outgoing message on her answering machine. I believe that was the voice I heard earlier. I really could use a good laugh now, so I’m begging God to please have her call me back. Please.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1991 I got up at 4:30. Last night I fell asleep around 6:00, and at 10:00 I woke up due to a blackout. There was massive rain all night. The wall clock in the bedroom died, so I had to check the time on the one in the living room. I called the operator for the exact time and proceeded from there to reset the microwave, my clock radio, the clock on the stove and the VCR. I also changed the batteries in the bedroom and bathroom clocks.

Shadow behaved last night for the first time in 4 days. I swept up downstairs and sprayed Windex on the floor at the bottom and wiped up his shit.

I went to the bank and got my food stamps. They sent a letter saying it would be raised from $105 to $111. Nevertheless, the ticket I got was for $112 and I guess it’s got something to do with premiums.

I bought kitty litter and cat food and some munchies from Cumberland. I hope to go to Food Mart Thursday. Thursday, I won’t be going to fuel assistance as they made me an appointment for Nov. 4th.

I had a talk with Peter downstairs which went very well. He said he understands how I feel and if the cops come around, he’ll tell them to speak to my lawyer. Meanwhile, he says they’re happy with me and this is my home for as long as I want it to be.

I still haven’t heard from “Tracy.” Why is she flaking out on me? I’ll call again later.

I got a very nice letter from Mom along with 18 pictures to add to my collection as she said. Dad’s 60th b-day party with Charlotte and Jim and other friends were in some of the pictures. One of Ruth and Marty on their 33rd anniversary renewing their wedding vows. Several of my nieces and one of me.

Here’s a list of the things I’m doing and am going to do:

I’m currently drawing a picture of Lisa, Becky, and Sarah on their swing set with Tammy and Bill standing behind them. I drew the frame of the swing set and also drew Lisa and Sarah. However, I had to erase Sarah as she was too high. Tammy’s standing behind Sarah and in order to draw her in, she’d be as tall as the swing set. Bill, who’s standing next to Tammy, would end up taller than the swing set, so I’ll need to try and re-proportion them. I told Tammy to tell Bill that since I do not have a gray pencil, I’ll give him brown hair.

I’m making 5 placemats, as I call them, for Chanukah.

I have to finish making Andy’s bracelets and send those out.

I’ve got to finish all my letters.

Hem my pants and figure out how to take in my leather pants.

Maybe make Tammy a “check.”

Later…

I am on the phone right now with Fran. I have the mute on and am listening and taping him talking to a girl he works with. He is so desperate and he’s so funny to listen to when he talks to girls.

I hope to hell I get a letter from Andy. He’s way overdue on his letter writing.

I still haven’t gotten a call from Nervous so I’ll just send him crazy letters every so often.

In a couple of hours or so, I’m gonna crash. I’m getting tired.

As I continue to hear Fran’s conversation, it’s getting funnier and funnier. First, he hits on that girl Denise whom he met at some group meeting. Has a one-nighter with her and becomes his usual way too-pushy self. Scares her off and has her end up pressing charges against him for harassing her. Secondly, he meets a neighbor of his whom he gets a bunch of roses for. He claims how much he’d like something to come out of it. Now, here he is at the present moment hitting on that other girl he works with. It’s hilarious too, as this girl’s spoken for from what I understand, but Fran’s doing his best to find out how she feels about this guy. He’s trying really hard to make her nervous about the guy she’s with and make her wonder if he’s any good.

Now, he’s asking if he’s the only guy she sleeps with and if she ever sleeps with anyone else. What do they do for sexual activity? Do they have an agreement where they see other people? Nervous or anyone else I’ve known could never be this pushy. Verbally, I mean. This girl is a major wimp, geek, and a sucker. This is the only type of person to stay on and listen all this time to this.

Well, I’m gonna go set the VCR for Unsolved Mysteries, then lay down and listen to this crap. Fran’s asked the same questions 50 times. Here he goes again with the, “Do you hope for any activities in bed other than us just being friends?”

He cracks me up.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 1991 I woke up at 3 AM which is getting better. Today, I have a number of things to do. I will call my lawyer as well as fuel assistance. I hope to go to fuel assistance Thursday as well as food stamps.

I will have a chat with Peter, get my food stamps and some groceries and clean next door.

I also need to bring out some of my garbage and clean Shadow’s box which he trashed all over the fucking place. I was so fucking pissed off at that cat. I can’t believe how much that cat enjoys being yelled at, and nothing will stop him from getting me to go after him. He does shit over and over that he knows he’s not supposed to do and he’s gonna get yelled at for it. Two nights in a row he ripped the bottom of two posters in the stairwell. I scream at him each time and finally put him on his leash at the bottom of the stairwell where his box is. Sure enough, he’s just got to do something, and he trashed the fucking box. Now there’s shit all over I’ve got to clean up. He gets off on either destroying or making a mess. As I clean up his mess, I can see the smirk on his face. This is not a kid, it’s a cat and I’m tired of babyproofing this place, worrying about my shit, and cleaning up after him. He’s much more loving than Sasha was but way too destructive.

You know how I get very emotional when it comes to my shit. It’s either stolen or destroyed. When the pigs took my shit, that was the final straw. I’m an adult, not a kid, and I will get every single fucking item back they took and never ever again will I let anyone ever fuck with my stuff. As far as I’m concerned, there’s one thing I know for sure. That is taping conversations whether or not the person knew they were being taped is not a crime. I have a right to do (other than pranks or other crimes) anything I so fucking desire in the privacy of my own place. I’ve seen this used in court and it never was illegal. I know people have been taped without knowing so and it’s been used in court cases. The judge never said, “I’m tossing this out as it’s against the law to tape someone.” What about taping shit off the radio or TV? What about the fact that I walked into Radio Shack and bought it? Or Nervous did, but the point is, if it’s so illegal, then why do they sell it in stores?

MONDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1991 I almost have my schedule back on days now. I got up at 1 AM and forgot to set the VCR before I went to bed.

I spoke briefly to Andy yesterday who got his letter. He told me he was very depressed that day so my letter made his day. I tried calling earlier but there was no answer. I guess he ended up working or fell asleep.

I also haven’t heard from Fran who may have tried to call me last night. I did ask Fran last Sat. night if he got my letter. I mean, I asked if he got a letter. I bullshitted him by saying how I’ve noticed that every time I get a letter, so does he. He said no but I think he’s just saying that as Andy got my letter last Fri. It couldn’t have gotten to Arizona quicker than it got to Springfield. I explained to Fran how I was sure “our letters” were from Tracy along with others connected with Tracy.

Mom and Dad should have gotten their letter by now.

Yesterday I called Tammy and explained to her how I’m going nuts here. I also explained the case more in detail as well as expressed my fears. Meanwhile, she told me to keep my chin up and not to let them win. She said she’ll call my lawyer to question how long all this is gonna take. Also, about filing suit. Last Friday I tried calling the lawyer about the lawsuit, the search warrant, and also to tell her about Northampton court on Oct. 24th. I couldn’t get a hold of her as she was in and out.

Last Saturday I got really scared for a while. I was sitting in the stairwell when all of a sudden this really bad vibe came over me. I went up and looked out my living room window and saw a cruiser in the parking lot. I ran to lock all my doors thinking, “Oh no. They’re gonna harass me about the lawsuit.” But then I wondered how they could know about it unless my lawyer said something.

Then the phone rang, and it was Carol telling me that the butchy detective from Amherst who sounds like Laurie H was at the station. Carol said she couldn’t get in the building and that she and the detective only wanted just to talk to me, but I refused. I told Carol that no way was anyone gonna manipulate me again and she was to go through my attorney. I told her my attorney instructed me not to speak to the police. Then I came right out with it and said, “Actually, I’m glad you called as I do know now that the search warrant was illegally obtained and that charges are going to be filed.” I also told her I was filing suit on slander, defamation of character, manipulation, invasion of privacy and involving others in the case who do not belong. She said she’d pass the message along and that the search warrant was legally obtained, through the courts and signed by a judge. I told her that that was not what I was told. Maybe she assumes it was legally obtained and doesn’t know the truth. Chief B can do one thing and tell Carol or anyone else a different story.

After all that, I called downstairs and asked Jennifer if the police were there. She said yes, and then I asked for Peter. He wasn’t there so I asked her to get a pen and write down what I was about to say. I told her all about the suit and that if the cops come in, to pay no attention to them and have them leave. I told her they need to go through my attorney and that it’s illegal for them to disrupt the business or harass them to get through to me.

So, I told my sister how I was so nervous that they’d get spiteful that I refused to talk to them and was contemplating sleeping in my closet. She said not to let my thoughts drive me nuts, hang in there and draw the girls some pictures. She said I had a lot of talent there and draw some for the girls for their rooms. I haven’t done that yet, but I did draw one of Gloria which I am not too impressed with.

I almost long to be holed up in some safehouse till I can be rescued and brought to CT. Only I don’t know if I’m safe here.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1991 Nothing’s really happened since I last wrote. I could not get to sleep for the life of me till 11:00 this morning. Cuz of that, I never went to fuel assistance. Next week I’ll do that as well as food shopping. Why is it that whenever I’m up all day I have nothing to do and when I’m up at night I have shit to do in the daytime?

I left a message for Fran and I have not heard from him. I left this message earlier in the evening at around 9:00. Before I leave him a message, I usually play his messages first by doing the *37 thing. I heard a couple of messages from that girl with the CP. As I mentioned before, I taped her and Fran as well as Andy and Fran. I also taped Fran crying about all kinds of things to the crisis center. Fran had told me yesterday how there was a fire in his building. True or not, I don’t know. I guess someone was heating up a baby bottle and the rubber nipple got overheated and went up in flames. I hope we can talk soon cuz I want to ask him all about his letter. Ha, ha, ha. I’ll tell him I got the same exact same letter and that I think Tracy’s behind it.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1991 Well, I had my day in court last Friday. Not much really happened, and the PD still has the tapes along with my other stuff. My lawyer (Tracy) did say, however, that she believes the search warrant was illegally obtained. Do you know how much trouble they’d be in? Either Chief B is incredibly stupid or doesn’t care about the consequences or really thought he could pull it off. I spoke to Tammy about that as well as the manipulation and leading me to believe their false intentions. Chief B also lied in the paper, telling them a different story than he told me. Chief B also dragged my landlord into this which is trouble for him. Tammy told me to file suit and to sue them and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Tracy said she asked the DA what he wanted to do and he said he didn’t know. Tracy also said that on October 31, which is my next court date, I should have my stuff back.

Now for another piece of news, I thought I escaped. At the end of August, I received a call from someone who sounded like Laurie H. It was a detective from Amherst telling me I’d be receiving a subpoena to go to Northampton court since it’s not part of Franklin County like Greenfield is. So as time went on, I thought perhaps they decided to drop it. But yesterday I got it in the mail for October 31. I called there today and explained I had to appear in Greenfield court that day and it was moved up to October 24. It’s nice to know Northampton doesn’t seem to know about Greenfield, although they could find out as well as they could find out about Springfield. The first time I met Tracy, I told her about this. She said to let her know if I ever do get a subpoena and she’ll represent me.

I’m gonna go watch some shows I taped but I’ll write more later. I’ll be up all night, unfortunately, as I’ve got to go to sign up for fuel assistance tomorrow.

Later…

Last Friday night, Kim had a dinner party to go to in Northampton. On her way, she was gonna drop me off at some theater I found out about from the Gay Alliance. Some coffeehouse where they also have some live entertainment. A singer and guitarist, I guess. It’s also supposed to be alcohol and drug-free. I would’ve jumped at the thought of going to something like this a year ago. What did I do? I totally chickened out. I told myself I’d no longer go looking for anything or any trouble from another Maliheh. I was just not in the mood that night for the possibility of being approached by an ugly or a so-so. I also wasn’t in the mood to laugh off any gentle, kind rejection or to get brutally led on and made to feel like an ass.

I still say that I could be in a room loaded with gorgeous gay, feminine women and one ugly one and God will make damn sure I get that ugly one. Also, I could move to the best area for music and put non-stop effort into it and get raunchy deals. I don’t mean just sex, either. I could wind up with a great deal that requires no sex but with my luck, it’d require lots of money I don’t have. If I got a deal with no sex and no need for money, it’d turn out to be a lie. Either they backed out, someone’s in a personal crisis, or it was just the thrill of leading someone on, trying to get their hopes up. This is what I mean when I say there’s a difference between bad luck and a curse. I know I’ll never make it and I’ll never have one night with someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. Believe it or not, though, it is becoming easier and easier to accept. Like I said, in the beginning, anyone else in the same situation with the same “plan” would think, gee, I’ve had some rotten luck and my young years at getting decent, attractive people are off at a bad start. Then it becomes rather obvious it’s not meant to be. Especially when you see how 85% of the population just doesn’t give a damn about looks and the other 15% goes and gets what they want and are attracted to.

There’s not much to write about as far as Jessie and Paula are concerned. Only that I’ve spoken with them over the phone. I haven’t heard from Hank or Steve.

Kim may be coming into some money from Bob. I guess Bob had a business when he lived in New York and his partner broke his contract so he’s having a huge check sent to Kim. Kim does not yet know how much. Bob wrote a letter to those people in New York about me and they moved to Chicago and retired. Bob’s having the money sent to Kim as Sandra doesn’t have much longer to live and neither does Bob really. Also, Bob’s so in love with Kim for helping him with his life and his health and looking like his first wife. And I mean exactly like his first wife. He showed me a picture of his first wife Dorothy and if he didn’t say it was her, I’d swear it was Kim.

I have spoken with Andy and Fran here and there and have even made some new tapes. I probably shouldn’t write this due to the pigs here, but I took tapes and taped the holes and made blanks out of tapes I never listen to.

It’s really too bad that Chief B and his people had to pull the shit they did as they’re such nice people otherwise. They’re also in big trouble. Manipulating someone is one thing. When you’re in law enforcement and you manipulate someone as well and put them through unnecessary hassles and harassment, you’ve got a problem.

As far as the letters go, I mentioned earlier that they’ve sure been keeping me busy. I sent out a letter to Mom and Dad. Andy and Fran got another wild and wacky letter. I read part of Fran’s letter over the phone to Andy who was cracking up. He said it was great and wishes he could get letters like that. So, I’ve got two letters like that on their way out. Two letters after the one I just sent are almost on their way out. I’m gonna mail everyone’s all at once. “Like that” means things we’ve done over the phone during pranks. Besides all our lines and sayings, I’d take my journals and read sentences backward as well as skip every other word. Or totally mix together tons of words from different sentences. Also, take the first half of a sentence and finish it with the second half of another sentence. I’d type many numbers and names and my journal chart. I did that mainly for Fran. I’d write tons of Springfield numbers for him. Also, bunches of names to confuse him and make him wonder. This recent bunch of letters I typed. I typed Fran and Andy’s for the hell of it. Kacey’s, however, I’d never write to as she may recognize my handwriting and that’d spoil all the fun of her thinking, “Who the fuck is this, and what the fuck do they mean?”

I wanted nothing more than to write to Russ, but there’s no way as I told him where I was moving to and he’s got my parent’s number.

Hank got a letter too, but between him, Mattie and Kacey, he’s the only one who’ll get a kick out of it and won’t get pissed. I’ll keep him wondering anyway till he says something. I knew it’d be best to type Mattie’s letter, as she’ll no doubt go flying down to Carabetta’s office with it. Carabetta could have a copy of my lease from when I lived there, pull it out if they all suspect me and compare the handwriting.

I’m also sending Andy Jenny’s address so he can write to her and she can freak out when she sees the Phoenix seal on the envelope. He told me that whenever I wanted to write to someone and have them think I live there or just receive a letter from Phoenix to mail it to him and he’ll mail it to them from there.

I’ll send him a letter to send to Nervous since he’s never gonna call, let alone come up here.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (732): Tue 19th Mar 2024

Checked out tonight's episode of Hollyoaks (I AM going to start writing about more exciting things than Hollyoaks soon. I promise you I am. Just not today because I was knackered and couldn't be bothered to do fuck all). Right from the start I got a big laugh because during the recap they edited out the visual of Ste actually falling from the roof and just used the sound while focusing on a shot of James looking shocked. The very idea that they saw the original go out and thought that it would be too frightening to go out at 6:30pm was hilarious. Anywho it turns out that Ste didn't die from his fall off a giant building he just broke his lower leg which is bullshit. So Silas nearly died just from Theresa pushing him over but Ste is still alive after falling from the top of a multi storey building? I'm so happy that Warren is leaving soon but knowing my luck they're probably going to have Ste suffer a brain injury which makes him believe that he is Warren and he acts like him from now on. Tonight's episode also saw the introduction of Marie AKA Joel's mother who stole a dress from Mercedes' clothing line and then wore it to The Dog while Mercedes was there leading to a CATFIGHT!. I love that Marie has labelled Merces a tramp and an awful person going purely off her first impression of her but she has no idea she is actually 100% correct. She's inadvertently a great judge of character. Later on she reconnected with Warren and the two made sweet love in the club. I put out the following hypothetical during the scene where they come face to face: Marie: Hello Warren. Long time no see. Do you ever think of me? Warren: When I'm strangling my victims to make myself angrier Tonight was of great significance for me because I gained my 400th follower on Twitter (which is all I've ever wanted). I genuinely never thought when I rejoined Twitter four years ago in order to specifically Tweet stupid bollocks during the show that I would ever gain ONE follower never mind four hundred (though I suppose the fact that I have "Hollyoaks" in my Twitter name has probably helped me a little as it pops up when people are searching for the official Hollyoaks Twitter page). I really love this little community that I've built up for myself that I get to entertain and interact with for half an hour every day. I think it's good for me to have something to commit myself to every day. I also think having this Twitter page is part of the reason why I still watch the show because there was a long stretch where I wasn't watching the show, either due to being too busy with work or just due to the show being in a creative pothole. Having this page has meant that I've felt compelled to tune in so that I can continue to entertain the loyal fellow ans who get a kick out of me making jokes about Mercedes vagina. Remarkably there are two people who have told me that they "live" for my Twitter account as it cheers them up and during my sabbatical last year one of them even @ed me to say that she missed my Tweets which was really flattering. I'm really grateful to all those beautiful bastards who have followed me over the years and I'll endeavor to continue Tweeting for their amusement even when the show is dull as shitwater.

[xxlil-kenxx]

The biggest “Wahh I want white Ariel but I’m not racist!!” Shit I’ve ever seen with a side of “look im supportive!!” , also TLM was originally described as green and/or inhumanity pale(yall should read the source material before trying to point shit out,) had no name, and died at the end of her story, oh! Not just that, she was literally a mute pet to the prince, a slave even.

None of y’all had shit to say when Brandy was Cinderella- literally the FIRST Live action, (and its also a reboot of a movie of he same name, company and all)and it should stay that way. You feeling some type of way bc black actors are in the roles of characters you’re ‘used’ to seeing as white isn’t anyones problem but yours, stay feeling weird bc you saw a black person, the rest of us are gonna go on unbothered bc some of us aren’t racist ✨

Also, there is a DIFFERENCE between casting a black actor for a ‘white’ role vs a white actor for any role meant for everyone but white actors,

In the acting industry MANY POC roles have been handed on a silver platter to white people, or even dawning blackface, some examples??

Wanda from the MCU, meant to be Romani,

Gomez from the Addams family, Self explanatory,

Ben from Short circuit 1 & 2.

Tony from Argo.

Sakini from the Teahouse of the August moon

Edwina from the beguiled

Dastan from Prince of Persia: The sands of time

Motoko from Ghost in the shell

Mariane from Pearl in a mighty heart

Tiger Lily from Pan 2015

Allison NG from Aloha

Othello from Othello 1965

Cleopatra from Cleopatra 1963

Tonto from The lone ranger

Ancient one from the MCU

Lena & Dr Ventress from annihilation 2018

See how long a list of just a few got? The impact whitewashing has made has been decades of making a mockery of cultures and races by throwing white people in because the industry deems them to look and be ‘better’ than, when in reality it’s a load of racist bullshit. The industry itself has made it like this and everyone ignoring it and only getting upset when white roles are ‘taken’ just proves no one actually gives a crap about the racebending, they just don’t want to see their childhood characters as anything but white.

2023 Ariel is black, she’s here, the animated Disney film isn’t magically erased from existence, we have two beautiful version by disney of TLM, get over it.

Edit: It is now 2024, and my point still stands, Halle was THE best person to cast. Do we need more original black roles? Yes! But does that mean that black actors cast as new adaptions of pre existing characters are wrong? No. It's not. Live actions do not erase the original animation and throwing racist tantrums does NOTHING but prove you're wrong.

Also, There was a lot of bullying on Halles looks, for her eyes, hair, etc, but when Anya Talor-Joy announced she wanted to be a live action Elsa she received utmost praise, despite also having eyes that are beautifully distanced, despite that she looks nothing like elsa, despite that she is not of indigenous heritage (reminder that frozen II made this apparent). Point blank, none of the other live action girls got as much hate as Halle, despite none of them looking like their animated counterpart(Even Jasmine's wasn't anywhere near as bad as the hate and bullying Halle recieved).

Oh! And when original , nonwhite, characters are made? Yall STILL scream about there being an agenda, yall are StiLL made that you 'have to see' POC. There is no winning. Yall are just racist and looking for 'valid' excuses as to why you're not.

Grow up and just don't watch a film if you're not interested in it, being racist and a bully is not and never will be a good option.

Thoughts on this?? Let’s talk

[mezmerwrites]

If You're In, I'm In.

A Steve harrington x reader insert.

Tw: alcohol consumption, drug use, smut if you squint, bad writing.

AN: this is my first fic so be nice if you point out mistakes lol. I also didn't edit this, oops. I have more parts of this fleshed out if this picks up, so send me an ask telling me what you think, or to be added to a tag list.

I originally wrote this as an !oc so if I missed anything while trying to change it to reader let me know. New ro reader inserts 🥲

I stood outside of Tina's house, leaned against the brick siding as I dug around in my jacket pocket for the lighter I swore I had stuffed in there.

I let out a string of profanities upon realizing it was not in my pocket and probably lost somewhere inside. I huffed in annoyance and was fully prepared to walk home at this point when a similar string of frustrated profanities pulled my attention towards the side of the house where a familiar voice was rounding the corner.

Steve Harrington stalled when he saw me leant against the house, an appogy falling from his lips. "Oh, shit. Sorry Y/N, I didn't know anyone was back here." His voice was a little shaky and higher pitched than usual, signaling he was upset about something. He started to back track, moving backwards and running a hand through his already messy hair, about to leave me alone again.

I waved him over, the joint still balanced between my lips. "No worries. Got a light or somethin?" I asked, offering to share if he could get it going. He looked like he could use it. In the dim light coming from a open window on the side of the house I could see his puffy red rimmed eyes and hear the slight sniffling coming from him.

He was upset.

He fumbled around in his own jacket pocket before procuring a silver lighter with a slight grin. He stepped over and handed me the lighter as he matched my stance, leaning against the side of the house. I took a moment to light the joint, taking long drag before passing it over to one of my oldest friends. "So, what's wrong?" I asked, lifting a brow as he took the joint from me, groaning at my inquiry.

"Dude, everything. It's just not my week." He began to open up, telling me about the current Nancy situation and the Billy basketball situation and the bad English grade situation. He looked defeated, especially the shitty part about Nancy, less so about the basket ball thing, and even less about the grade.

I let out a low whistle, taking the joint back from him. "Bummer." I offered softly, my smile even softer. Steve was a good guy underneath all that King Steve bullshit, and I knew he really loved Nancy, it didn't take a rocket scientist to see he was pretty torn up about it.

He hummed in agreement. "Yeah, It sucks. Ever been down in the dumps like this?" He asked as he took the now shorter joint from me, bringing it to his lips. He watched me as I shoved my hands under my arms in attempts to warm them up. I had worn a stupid playboy bunny outfit, matching with a couple of my friends and I regretted it the longer i stood out here.

I kicked the dirt under my shoe, shrugging. "Yeah, once." I answered with a breathy sigh. A half smile pulled at my lips as I recalled the gut wrenching heart break I'd suffered at the hands of Jason two months ago when I found out he'd been hooking up with Chrissy Cunningham while he was supposed to be meeting me for a date. "It sucks, but it gets better." I reassured him with a gentle smile, hoping it made him feel a bit better.

He passed me the almost out joint before digging in his pocket for his car keys. "Wanna get out of here? I have beers at home and the rents are out of town." He offered, an invitation I hadn't received in quite some time.

I thought it over for a minute, absent-mindedly looking towards the house party where my friends were dancing inside. "Yeah, let's go. I'm cold and I have more weed at home." He smiled a bit wider at the thought of having a pitty party at home in private instead of unfront of all of Hawkins high.

The drive was short, and as soon as we were parked I skipped over to my house next door to retrieve the goods and change into something warmer before meeting Steve out by his pool, using the gate on the fence that separated our yards.

He had an ice chest drug out, his feet propped up on it as he lit a cigarette between his teeth.

I plopped down on the other end of the pool chair, pulling the bag and papers from my hoodie pocket, along with the bottle of vodka I'd cracked open earlier in the night before the party. 

It was several hours, one bottle of vodka, and two joints later and Steve and I were laying side by side, smushed into the same lounge chair staring at the sky, a thick quilt from inside draped over the both of us. Steve had just finished spilling his guts on the truth about Barbra, what had happened to that will kid, and what the upside down was and the monsters that lived within it.

At first I thought he was pulling my leg, but I realized he wasn't once he looked towards the pool with a haunted expression, and then started talking softer like someone might hear his confession and book him on the spot.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I didn't say anything for a while. I just laid there with my head touching his looking at the stars absorbing all the information he dumped on me. I cleared my throat after a moment and spoke once I decided on what I wanted to say. "So, you tried to kill it with a baseball bat that Dustin Henderson hammered a bunch of nails into?" I just couldn't get the mental imagine out of my head of how that played out.

Steve scoffed, "Out of everything I just said that's all you retained?" He nudged me with his shoulder, a dazed look in his eyes before returning them back to the sky.

I sighed, shaking my head, "No, I retained all of it..." I began to trail off, "That part just seemed less traumatizing honestly." I whispered, trying to picture the monster he described. I shivered imagining the rows upon rows of teeth.

Steve hummed, sounding spaced out like he was stuck in his head. "You know you can't tell anyone. I was swore to secrecy by the government, they'll kill you if you tell." He was definitely drunk, that I could tell from the way he talked during the whole story, but his tone was different now, a little scared. "Thats why I had to tell you out here, pretty sure my house is tapped or something." He mumbled, wiping a hand across his face.

I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat, pretending like that didn't freak me out. "Don't worry, lips are sealed." I reassured him that I wouldn't talk about it, but part of me wished he didn't dump all that on me.

The other part of me wondered how he was holding all that inside in the first place. I snuggled closer into his side as the wind picked up, my nerves quelled for the moment as he rested his head against mine.

"Why did we stop hanging out?" He slurred softly, eyes not leaving the sky, "We used to be so close Y/N." He sounded sad almost, but mostly just drunk.

I sighed again, thinking about the complicated last two years. "I dunno, Steve. We just- people grow apart sometimes." I kept my tone soft, careful to tiptoe around his already bruised feelings about his very recent break up. "We never quit being friends, we just got closer to other people, it's okay and normal." I reassured him, turning my head to look at his side profile.

He tucked his other arm under his head, adjusting on the chair we were almost falling out of now. "Yeah, I guess." Was all he said before he fell silent for a long moment, swallowing hard before his next set of words hung in the air. "I didn't want to grow apart from you, though."

My breath caught in my throat at the softness of his words and how he shifted next to me, turning on his side under the warm quilt. The truth was I didn't want us to grow apart either, but when I started seeing Jason last fall he made it very clear I was not to hangout with Steve, or anyone else.

He studied my face, I could feel his gaze on me but I wasn't ready to turn towards him, his face was much to close to mine to be able to hide what I was thinking or feeling. "Was it because of jason? Or me and nance?" He asked gently, his warm hand skimming up my thigh, resting on my hands that were interlocked together on my stomach.

The sudden contact made me turn to look at him, my resolve on not talking about it faded as I took in the way his hair flopped over his forehead and into his eyes that were red rimmed and blown out from the drugs and alcohol. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing my eyes back to his and away from his bottom lip that was pouted out.

"Jason." I whispered, tongue darting out to wet my lips. I didn't miss the way Steve's eyes lost focus on my own at the action.

I tried to clear my head, squeezing my eyes shut. "He, uh, He didn't like how close we were. He was threatening to put you in your place or break up with me so I just... quit coming around." I admitted, unsure now that was ever the correct choice.

Steve hummed, eyes ghosting down to my lips ever so quickly, but not unnoticed by me. "Jason is a punk, and wouldn't have got far with that." He mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Plus, it would have probably deterred him from doing what he did to you if he knew I was still in your corner." He sounded a little pissed off at the thought, which sent a tingle of something down my spine. Pride, maybe delight thinking about it.

I giggled at it, at him, and turned over on my side to face him. The hand he had holding both of mine slipped away, ghosting over my waist as his arm coiled aroind me, pulling me closer towards him as I almost teetered off the edge of the lounge.

The quick movement had me pressed against his chest, foreheads touching and legs tangled together. It felt too comfortable and normal, reminding me of the countless nights spent like this last summer.

He studied my face for a moment, hand moving from my waist to tuck stray curls behind my ear. "I think about that night all the time." His voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes never leaving mine. "It was the best kiss of my life." He finished, the softness in his voice melted all the resolve I had.

I let out a sigh and leaned into his hand, big warm and as inviting as I remember it being. I didn't trust myself to say anything that wouldn't get me in trouble, I already felt the familiar pull in my chest and the desire to fall back into an old pattern. Steve moved slowly, his hand anchoring behind my ear and pulling me towards him as he dipped his head ever so lower as he pressed our mouths together in the softest of kisses.

Just like I remembered him.

It was soft, doting, the kind of kiss you wrote in your diary about. The explosion of tingles from his hand on my face and his lips against mine was mesmerizing. I kissed back, pressing into him just a tad harder, encouraging him on.

His soft kisses grew fevered, more urgency behind them as he shifted. His hand left my face and returned to my waist, the other one slipping under and between the gaps in the plastic chair to spray across my upper back, holding Me impossibly close.

The kiss was gradually building, soft pecks to more pressure, to quicker and faster. I couldn't resist the urge to flick my tongue out against his lips, gently asking for him to kiss me harder.

He complied, deepening the kiss but still letting me take the lead, letting me guide the kiss into a gentle and slow make out session to rival anything I've ever seen on TV.

I finally pulled away a few short kisses later, needing to breathe and cool down before I suffocated. Steve didn't mind, he just rolled, pulling me under him just slightly as his hand on my face pushed my jaw upwards to press soft kisses against my neck. "I should have never let you go out with Carver, you could have been mine all this time." He grumbled, not letting up on the soft presses of his mouth against my skin.

I relaxed into it, sighing as the thought rolled over me.

His. His girlfriend.

Wait-

His girlfriend.

"Steve." I breathed out a warning as I came to my senses, my hands moving to his sides, trying to ground myself back to reality and not dream land where he was mine.

He let out a deliciously soft groan hearing his name, totally not letting up and only taking that as encouragement as his lips parted, kisses becoming wet and sloppy now.

My body betrayed me, head falling back into his grip and eyes fluttering closed at the sensation. A soft whimper blew past my lips as I pulled together all the resolve I had in my body and pushed him roughly, remembering why this was a terrible idea brought me back to reality.

He lifted off me, his eyes confused and a little hurt looking as he started to ask me what was wrong. "Y/N, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted too- I mean you were kissing me and-" I shook my head, sitting up on my elbows as he shifted off me, halfway falling off the pool lounge.

I tried to steady my breathing, my mood shifting from perfectly content to wildly embarrassed. "Nancy." I breathed out, running a hand through my hair as I tried to push back the guilt washing over me.

Steve's eyes widened, his lips pink from my lipgloss fell into a small "o" shape, realization fanning across his body.

I struggled to find my next words, going for a sentence this time and not just one word. "I don't want to be your rebound and hook up with you when you're sad drunk about your ex girlfriend, it hasn't even been 6 hours." I grumbled, suddenly a little angry at myself for letting him con me into this position.

He immediately apologized, "You're right, that was a dick move wasn't it? I'm sorry Y/N." He half smiled, but I could tell his mind was somewhere else still as his gaze dropped back to my lips.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him all the way off me, standing up. Just as I was about to turn away his hand shot out and grabbed hold of my bicep, he tugged me back into his chest. "And I don't want you to feel like a rebound, okay? That's not what any of that was to me." His brown eyes locked on mine and he let his hand fall into mine, locking our fingers together. "Seriously, y/n! You're more than that to me, you know that." His voice was soft and tender, begging me to believe him.

I let out the harsh breath I'd been holding at his confession and leaned into his chest. "I know, but figure out what's going on between you and her before you decide to kiss me again." I instructed, pulling away from him before I decided not to.

I turned on my heel and walked through his yard and through the gate onto my own, feeling better with distance between us.

It was well after midnight by the time I got out of the shower and got in bed, head reeling as I touched my fingers to my lips.

[xxdragonwriterxx]

🔥You Are Human, And Damn It, You Are An Important One!🔥

A/N: Hey everyone! I’m back! It looks like my tags finally decided to sort themselves out so I wanted to (finally) post a new story! I’m still working on requests though, so don’t worry, those are coming soon! I just wanted to post this in the mean time while I edit those and test if my tags are really fixed on one of my originals so that any requested fics will actually be seen later should an error occur. Thank you so much for your continued support and patience, you guys are so amazing! I hope this makes up for my temporary hiatus! This one actually has a bit of a heavier tone to it but I think I’m finally happy with it! Thanks again for the support, and don’t be afraid to talk to me! Shoot me a message or just spew random bullshit and I’ll still respond 😂. Enjoy!

(Warning: themes of non-con & abuse. This is set in a brothel, but there’s nothing explicit, it’s just mentioned or implied. Just wanted to put it out there! Viewer discretion advised!)

🐉Song Recommendation: “The Gardener” By: Sarah Sparks 🐉

Word Count: ~7k

~~~

It was that time of year. The time of year that Levi hated the most. The Underground Market Festival. It was the time of year in which merchants from all around would come down to the Underground City, away from the prying eyes of the Military Police, and sell anything and everything to the nobles who weren’t exactly looking for orthodox materials. The normally filthy, mostly empty streets would be filled with members of the wealthy, dripping in jewelry, cash, and lavish clothing as they paraded around the sorry excuse for a city, boasting of their wealth and privilege as they bought enough food and luxurious goods to feed three times the number of people in the Underground while sharing none of it.

The days were starting to blur together. Levi honestly couldn’t tell if it had been a day, a week, or a month as the drugs in his system continued to work just like the brothel owners wanted them to, rendering him practically inoperative and perfect for use. His head pounded, swimming with confused thoughts. His gaze was unfocused, warped, and his whole body felt suffocatingly hot despite his lack of cover, his legs shifting as his body instinctively searched for a relief he didn’t even want. But that was exactly how they wanted him.

The sound of his door being unlocked made him look up slowly, his eyes taking a few seconds to fully focus on the man standing in the entrance of his room, a wide, malicious grin on his face. Levi couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose in disgust. The man smelled of sweat and stale alcohol, and his unkempt appearance made Levi itch, even when drugged out of his mind.

“Oh, Levi…” the man cooed, making Levi shudder. “I have another customer for you.”

Even though Levi had been through this time and time again, even though he had been trapped in his filthy room since he was caught stealing from a merchant friend of the brothel owner at age twenty, even though the drugs in his system were making his body scream for what this new customer could give him, he still couldn’t help the wave of dread that washed through him, the fear. Levi didn’t fear much, having grown up on the streets of the Underground alone since he was abandoned by Kenny at the age of ten, but this? This he was scared of.

He thought back to the wretched old man that had abandoned him as a small child and wondered what he would think of him now. Would he be disgusted? Unsurprised? Angry? Not that it mattered. Levi knew he would never see him again. But even so, his brain couldn’t help itself from going down those roads, asking questions of “what if?” no matter how many times he reminded himself that it didn’t matter. He was just some bastard thug turned whore in the Underground. Nobody was going to even remember him, let alone care about who he was or who he may be in the future.

Levi was once again brought out of his daze when the pig in the doorway moved to the side, letting a noble woman saunter into the room. She had a wicked grin on her face as she approached him, ignoring the brothel owner as he slammed the door shut behind her, giving them some privacy. She was covered in glittering jewelry, and although the dress she wore was extravagant, it was very tight fitting and low cut, barely considered decent, her large breasts one breath away from spilling out over the top. Her hair was pinned up in a lavish braided style, twisting and coiling tightly, and held together with real gold pins that Levi knew must’ve cost a fortune.

“~Well, hello sexy,” the woman purred as she approached the raven-haired man.

Levi had to force himself not to grimace, even with the effect of the drugs, when she slithered her way over his thighs, her hands reaching up to cup his face. The smell of whatever custard perfume she had on was overwhelming, making his eyes water and his throat close up. Her hands felt clammy from all of the lotions and creams she had slathered over her skin to make it look shinier, making them feel like dead fish rubbing against his cheeks.

“Well? Aren’t you going to ask my name?” The woman demanded in a sickly sweet voice, making Levi close his eyes in barely suppressed agony.

“What is your name?” Levi asked in a low voice. He felt the woman preen above him at the sound of his voice, knowing she thought his deep tone was for setting the mood rather than the effect of his despair.

“My name is Lady Clarissa! What’s your name, hmmm?”

“Levi,” He said quietly.

“Oooh, Leevviiii, I like that,” Lady Clarissa practically moaned. “Say, Levi, you were quite expensive. That must mean you're really good at what you do. I can already tell that you fulfill my personal tastes in terms of appearance, so why don’t you convince me of the rest and give me a good time. Don’t make me regret spending my good money on you. Don’t make me punish you.”

Levi gritted his teeth when she ground her hips into him, trying his hardest not to fight back. He knew it would be difficult, the drugs making his movements and mental processes much slower, but at that moment, all he wanted to do was shove her off of him. Swallowing the bile in his throat, Levi reached for her as she leaned down to force her tongue into his mouth.

It was that time of year. The time of year that (Y/N) hated the most. The Underground Market Festival. It took everything in her to avoid groaning in annoyance as the people she was expected to call her friends dragged her down into the filthy Underground City for a day of “fun”. (Y/N) would much rather be back at home, reading a book in the library, or relaxing with the horses in the barn, or secretly practicing her sword fighting skills with the guards of their estate. But her father had forced her to go when her friends had shown up at the house, begging for her to come with them. He claimed she needed to get her priorities straight and actually present herself, show the honor and pride that came with being part of the (L/N) family. (Y/N) thought there was very little honor and pride in parading their wealth around like they owned the world, especially in front of people who constantly struggled to survive on a daily basis.

(Y/N) walked slowly down the worn cobblestone streets, suppressing the urge to gag at the sight of other nobles walking around, looking and acting as if they were rulers of the walls. She barely looked at anything, only stopping to occasionally buy food when she noticed the hungry children hanging around, looking for a scrap to steal. She could tell they were wary of her, but she never stopped trying, always offering them the food in some way, even if it meant leaving it in a secluded space for them to find later.

Her friends constantly tried to get her to engage, running up to her with crystal jewelry, silk clothing, and delectable foods, attempting to entice her, only to get pushed away. (Y/N) wanted no part in any of it. Even her attire spoke volumes about how little she wanted to be there. She knew that to the people of the Underground, the dress she wore would be considered something of utmost value, but when compared to the nobles around her, she looked underdressed and plain. She wore nothing more than a subtle red dress covered with a black leather jacket, paired with black combat boots and matching gloves, no jewelry to be found except for the simple white earrings she wore in her lobes.

Her father had been less than pleased with her appearance, but stopped arguing when she announced she was leaving, the lord just happy she had at least agreed to go to the festival. She knew he was disappointed in her, annoyed that she wasn’t like the other noble ladies who loved to flaunt their luxurious lifestyles and bend to the every whim of the lords around them, looking to marry early for money and power. (Y/N) wouldn’t be surprised if the entire reason her father wanted her here was so she could possibly win over the affections of a single lord milling about, one that was rich and influential. It was for that possibility alone that (Y/N) had originally thought to wear something that made her look underdressed, having to swallow the bile that rose in her throat at the prospect of catching some snobby noble’s attention.

“Yeah, her name is (Y/N)! She’s the one right over there, I think she could use a good time.”

(Y/N)’s head snapped up when she heard her name, her eyes shooting over to where her friends were standing in a group in front of a large building. All of them were looking at her, covering their faces with their hands to hide their giggles. Dread filled her to the brim when she saw the sign in front of the building, her face paling in horror.

“That one, eh? I think we can arrange something like that,” the brothel owner said, a smug smile on his lips as he stared at her, his grin only widening as her cheeks flushed a brilliant red. “Don’t worry, I’ve got one in particular that could give you a good ride. He’s expensive since he’s my most popular, but he’s worth it.”

(Y/N) opened her mouth to argue, her cheeks on fire as her brain fought to think of something, anything to get her out of this situation. She didn’t want to fuck some random stranger for no reason, but she especially didn’t want to have sex in a brothel. She found them vulgar, repulsive, and horrible. The way they treated their “workers” was appalling. Just as the words finally reached the tip of her tongue, one of the girls she had come to the festival with cut off her impending argument.

“Damn, I’m jealous! If he’s that good I’m almost tempted to take him myself. But she needs this. She hasn’t loosened up the entire time we’ve been here and I think this might help. She’ll take him.”

The greasy man smiled and wrote her name down, happily accepting the roll of cash her friend handed him before getting up, supposedly to let the man know that he had another customer on the way. (Y/N) tried to escape when she could, but her friends rushed up and caught her before she could slip into the shadows, dragging her over to the brothel and shoving her towards an open door where the brothel owner stood, a creepy smile still plastered on his face.

“Guys! I don’t want this!” (Y/N) whispered frantically as she was dragged towards her doom.

“It doesn’t matter if you want it or not, you need it!” One of her friends said with a laugh. “Besides, you’re going to have a fun time. Don’t make us regret spending that money for you!”

(Y/N) was practically thrown into the room, stumbling as she fought to catch her balance, before the door was slammed shut behind her, the loud sound of the lock being latched reverberating around the room with the finality of a death toll. Huffing in anger, (Y/N) stood and brushed herself off, smoothing out her dress and straightening back up to her full height, fighting off the panic slithering up her spine.

A low groan of pain coming from behind her made her whirl around in surprise, her eyes landing on a shorter, pale skinned man with stunning silver eyes and raven black hair. Gods he looked pathetic. She could definitely tell he was attractive, it made sense now as to why he was a popular choice, but he looked sickly, his cheeks hollowed out, dark circles under his eyes, and a muscled yet neglected body starting to wear thin from years of hunger and constant overuse. The sight made her want to be sick. How could anybody be cruel enough to force themselves onto this obviously abused man? How could anyone willingly pay money to fuck him rather than help him?

“Um, hello,” (Y/N) said quietly. “W-What’s your name?”

The man raised an eyebrow, not used to the soft, kind, almost shy way she asked for his name. The women and occasional men he dealt with most of the time were demanding, controlling, and sadistic, knowing they paid for a man they could use, and their voices usually projected that. Yet, this woman looked as if she had been forced to do this, further supported by the way she had been nearly thrown into the room by whom he assumed was her friends.

“Levi,” he said quietly, waiting for the usual routine to start, no matter how much his gut twisted in disgust at the thought.

“Hi, Levi, I’m (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)...” Levi murmured softly, training himself to memorize it despite his swimming brain, knowing she would want him to scream it out later. Whether in pain or in pleasure, he wasn’t sure yet.

“Um…” (Y/N) was about to speak, her mind scrambling for something to say when her eye caught sight of a large bruise on his neck. Her eyes widened and suddenly started scanning his entire body, her stomach roiling more and more the longer she stared. Now that she was really paying attention, (Y/N) could see painful bites, hickeys, and splotchy bruises littering his neck, jaw, chest, and thighs. Her eyes narrowed on the long, bloody scratches running down the length of his chest and back, and she noticed blooming red patches of skin all over him that were raw and aching from being slapped hard and rough over and over again. 

He was wearing a loose pair of worn boxers as his only cover, and (Y/N) could only imagine what other horrors the thin cloth was hiding. Glancing down, she saw him shift uncomfortably, his boxers tented by his arousal. The sight made her growl in anger, knowing that to keep him going after he had already had so many customers for the day, a drug was being used to make him insatiable, forcing him past the point of pain and probably clouding his judgement and mental process as well. It made her want to go cut up the brothel owner and serve him to a pig.

Without thinking, (Y/N) rushed to him, reaching out to him, only to freeze when he flinched. She heard him curse at the involuntary movement, knowing it was his job to appear as unaffected and sexually appealing as possible, and it made her heart clench even harder, her hatred for this place and the people who ran it increasing tenfold.

Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) immediately slowed her movements, trying to appear as calm and unhurried as possible. Her gaze softened and glazed with unshed tears when he closed his eyes, his arms reaching out as he prepared for her to sit on his lap and have her way with him like she knew every other man and woman who used him did. Gritting her teeth against the fury she felt, she carefully slid her way across his thighs. She felt him force himself to relax under her as he leaned forward to let her kiss him.

When he felt nothing, and heard something click, Levi cracked open his eyes in curiosity, only to have them fly open all the way when he felt something cool and wet against his neck. Looking down at the woman in his arms, his lips parted in shock, watching in confused awe as she leaned back and soaked a small cloth in some water from a bottle, rinsing the fresh blood from the fabric. Looking to the side, he saw a small first aid kit by her feet, the container open to reveal a variety of medical tools inside.

(Y/N) leaned forward again, raising the towel to his neck to dab at his abrasions, washing them carefully, reverently, almost... lovingly. Levi opened and closed his mouth but no words came out as she continued to work on him, delicately cleaning his jaw and neck before carefully moving on to his chest. Was this some kind of strange ritual she always performed during sex? Did she just find him dirty and want to clean him up before putting her lips or her pussy on his skin? His mind was running a million miles a minute as she worked on him in silence, only pausing when he hissed quietly at the feeling of his gashes being washed.

(Y/N) frowned as she gently swiped the cloth along the red gouges in his skin. They were deep, most likely caused by the long, sharp nail extensions some ladies liked to wear, or the dull blade of a man with violent tendencies. It didn’t surprise her, a lot of the men and women who used people like this did have sadistic qualities, but it didn’t help to quell the now roaring fire in her blood, wanting nothing more than to fight against the injustice of this man.

“W-What are you doing?” Levi finally managed to ask.

“Cleaning your wounds.”

“Why? Is this some kind of-”

“Preparation? No. We aren’t going to do anything. I just want to help your injuries heal.”

Levi felt like his brain was full of static, like his mouth was stuffed with cotton. He wasn’t complaining, far from it, but he couldn’t get a reading on this woman. Why would she, a noble from the surface, want to help him, a hopeless whore from the Underground?

“Wha-”

“Before you ask what my intentions are, I’m just going to tell you that I didn’t even want to do this. I was forced to come to this festival because my father wants me to become more of a proper noble woman. But since I wasn’t too thrilled about having to be here, the people I came with thought I could use an opportunity to loosen up, and paid for me to do this with you in the hopes that I’d start having fun with them afterwards. But I have no intention of doing any of that. I hate how everyone in the Underground is treated like shit, and the last thing I want to do is take advantage of someone who obviously isn’t in control of his situation. I just want to help.”

Levi closed his mouth, all of his protests dying on his tongue. He still had questions, a lot of them, but he decided those could wait, her explanation making him feel surprisingly relaxed for someone who had trained himself to never take the word of a noble at face value. He had never met anyone like her. Even before he was forced to whore himself out, all he had ever known of nobles was their complete lack of humility and egotistical sense of self-importance. 

It was silent for a moment, but this time, the silence was more comfortable, both of them starting to relax a little as (Y/N) continued to patch him up. Levi felt himself loosen up a bit, his muscles unwinding as his hands settled on her waist, keeping her securely balanced on his lap as she worked. Pride swirled in (Y/N)’s chest as she felt his tense muscles soften, her eyes sparkling as she started to work her way towards earning his trust.

“What’s your happiest memory?” (Y/N) asked suddenly.

Levi quirked an eyebrow in suspicion, “Why should I tell you, brat?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” (Y/N) said, shaking her head and stifling a giggle at the nickname. “I only asked because I figured we may as well talk while we do this. Not only that, I feel like you could use some happiness right now. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so if you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to.”

Levi was silent for a minute, the cogs in his mind turning as he tried to make what he believed to be the right decision despite the fog clouding his judgement. Just as she had promised, (Y/N) waited patiently, not pressuring him to answer, or even bringing up another question. She merely sat in silence, her clear (e/c) eyes narrowed on his injuries as she worked to make him feel better.

“There was a time when I was with my friend Farlan, a few years back. We were doing a job, trying to get rid of a troublesome merchant for a client of ours when we found out the merchant had a cat. We were hiding around the corner, waiting to strike when that damn cat jumped up onto Farlan’s lap. I’m fine with cats, but that was the day we found out Farlan had some kind of allergy to them. He was trying to hold back his sneezes but finally lost control right when the merchant came around the corner, and Farlan ended up sneezing really violently in his face. That merchant got so scared he must’ve jumped at least three feet in the air, and even managed to piss himself before he took off. We still had to finish him off later, but in that moment, when Farlan was mortified and our target was running for the hills because of a cat induced sneeze, I couldn’t help but laugh a little.”

(Y/N) had paused in her work to listen to him, and couldn’t help but smile when he finished his story. Going back to work, (Y/N) didn’t ask what happened to Farlan, not wanting to drag him back down after she had finally gotten him to talk to her, about something so personal no less.

“What about you?” Levi asked.

“Hmm, I think I’d have to say when I got my horse for my birthday,” (Y/N) said. “I was never around the horses, wasn’t allowed to be in the barn because it wasn’t “proper for a lady”. But I loved them, loved seeing them on the streets when other nobles would come visit my father or when the soldiers from the Survey Corps would come back from a mission. I couldn’t stay away, so no matter how much my father tried to squash my love of them, it just wouldn’t happen. My mother eventually convinced him to let it go, and surprised me with a little chestnut filly that I named Sashay when I was about sixteen years old. Now, she’s my best friend. We’ve been through everything together, and she’s the only one who doesn’t try to force me to be something I’m not. Aside from the royal guards, I guess. They learned a long time ago to stop trying to get me to sit still and look pretty when I beat all of them in the sword fighting ring.”

Levi’s brows shot up into his hair at that, his lips parting in surprise. “You know how to sword fight?”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Yeah, not what you were expecting, huh?”

“No,” Levi said. “I’ve never heard of a noble woman who could fight, let alone with a blade. Are you any good?”

“I tend to think so, but that all depends on who I’m up against,” (Y/N) said with a cheeky smile.

For some reason, Levi couldn’t help but smile back for the first time in years. His lips felt chapped and strained from disuse, but it felt good, a light feeling flooding his chest with warmth. “You said earlier that your horse’s name is Sashay,” Levi said, suddenly changing the topic.

“Mm hm.”

“That’s weird.”

(Y/N) giggled at his bluntness, making another fluttering feeling swirl in his chest. He had never met anyone other than Farlan who saw his language as something other than rude.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” (Y/N) said. “But I named her that because she is a sassy chestnut mare. I like to imagine that if she were human, she’d be someone you wouldn’t want to mess with, someone who wouldn’t take shit from anyone, but would do so with a spicy attitude. So I named her accordingly.”

Levi huffed a laugh at her response but almost immediately regretted it when the movement of his chest caused the rough gauze at her fingertips to brush against his injuries a little harder than before, the stinging sensation making him hiss in pain.

“Sorry!” (Y/N) said, quickly retracting her hands and holding them up, waiting for him to give her the signal to continue.

“Not your fault,” Levi mumbled, motioning that it was alright for her to get back to work. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think I said that before.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “You don’t have to thank me. I want to do this.”

Levi wanted to ask her why but remembered what she had told him at the start of this and decided to trust her word, swallowing the question and instead changing topics. “Why do you even have this? Do you always just carry a first aid kit around?”

“Only when I come to the Underground. I want to have it available for those who really need it.”

“You do know that at least half of the people down here would kill you without a second thought to get to that medicine. Or they’d kill you if they thought you were pitying them.”

“I know, but I’d like to think I can handle myself a bit more than the average person. Even so, I usually keep it hidden unless I really want or need to use it on someone, and it’s only for quick patch-ups anyway. I can’t really fix anything major.”

(Y/N) finally finished with his front and carefully slid off of his thighs, moving slowly to begin working on his back. She made sure he was okay with everything she was doing before settling herself down onto the edge of the bed behind him, her hands reaching up to start her work once more.

Levi wanted to know more about her. He felt as if he could talk to her for hours, as if he had known her for years. He wanted to know what made her laugh, what made her cry, what her vision was for the future. It was insane, so much so that Levi idly wondered if he’d fallen off the deep end. But he couldn’t deny it. She was just too intriguing, so surprisingly kind, so genuine.

What was your childhood like? What are your favorite things to do? Do you come down here often? When will I see you again?

The questions continued to rattle around in Levi’s head as they once again lapsed into a comfortable silence but he forced all of them back, not wanting to seem either too desperate to get to know her, or be seen as coming on too strong.

After debating with himself for a while, Levi finally settled on, “You’ve mentioned your father a lot, and how he doesn’t want you to be yourself.”

(Y/N) tensed a little, her face twisted in a grimace behind Levi’s back. “Yeah… he used to be better about it, but ever since my mother died, he’s been like a tyrant. He’s upset he didn’t get a son in the first place, but now that he’s stuck with me for a daughter, he’s even more disappointed that I’m not someone he can easily make profits off of by marrying me off to someone. Not only have I been adamant about not allowing it, but no nobleman wants a woman who can think for herself. A woman who can ride a horse, go toe to toe with her soldiers, has an opinion, and is knowledgeable about current conflicts. They want someone who will dress up all pretty for them and be in bed, ready to satisfy them when they get home from gambling and drinking all day while sitting on their parents’ money.”

Levi scoffed and (Y/N) huffed in agreement. “I’m just not that kind of person. Every suitor that has ever met me has run away from my casual attire and sailor’s mouth.”

“Your father wasn’t like this when your mother was alive?” Levi asked.

“He was, but he wasn’t as bad. My parents were in an arranged marriage, but they got along alright. At least my father loved my mother enough to listen to her most of the time when she told him to lay off of me. I honestly think she’s the reason why I have such a strong fighting spirit.”

“I’m sorry she’s gone,” Levi said awkwardly, not used to providing words of comfort.

“Thanks,” (Y/N) said genuinely, a warm smile gracing her beautiful features.

“I didn’t know my mother that well,” Levi said haltingly, still unsure why he felt comfortable telling her about things he hadn’t even talked to Farlan about. “She died of a disease when I was four years old. She was a prostitute, like me, so I never knew my father. When she died, I was picked up by a man named Kenny, who I thought might’ve been my father for a short while, but as I grew older, I realized he wasn’t. I don’t have any proof, I just know. When he abandoned me at ten, I was alone for a few years before I met Farlan.”

“So… you didn’t get stuck doing this because of your mother?” (Y/N) asked carefully, almost afraid to ask in case it made him shy away from her.

“No,” Levi said slowly. “I was twenty years old when I was caught stealing from a rich friend of this brothel owner. I had made a mistake and there was no way out. He figured out who I was, a thug who was known at the time for carrying out favors for people, whether that meant stealing or killing depended on how much they were willing to pay. Unfortunately, this led them to Farlan, and he gave me a choice. Me, or my best and only friend.”

“And you chose to save your friend at the expense of yourself,” (Y/N) finished for him in a hoarse whisper, filled with horror and unbridled fury at what this man had been through. She figured she should’ve been alarmed, he had just admitted that he had blood on his hands. He was a thief, a thug, a criminal, a murderer. But (Y/N) knew those things were nearly requirements for living in the Underground and no matter how she thought about it, she couldn’t think of anything that would make this man deserve what he was going through.

(Y/N) opened her mouth to say something just as she put the last bandage in place when a loud pounding on the door startled them both. “Time’s up, you two!” The brothel owner shouted through the door.

(Y/N) shot up from the bed and rushed around to where the water and first aid kit sat, quickly packing up the little box of supplies and splashing her face with water, trying to make herself look sweaty enough to look convincing. Once everything had been packed away, (Y/N) stood and shrugged off her leather jacket, throwing it to him.

“Here, take this, it’ll keep your boss from seeing the bandages and trying to get rid of them. It’ll also give your injuries a little more protection from the bacteria in this room.”

Levi wanted to refuse, tell her he couldn’t accept a gift like this, even if it was temporary, but no words would come out as he watched the beautiful woman in front of him mess up her hair and swipe her fingers across her lips, trying to make herself look as wrecked as possible. When she finally looked the part enough to seem convincing, (Y/N) made her way to the door, turning one last time before she opened it to throw him a wink and a sweet smile.

“~Goodbye Levi, I hope we can see each other again soon.”

The lilt in her voice was fake, an act for anyone who may be listening on the other side of the door, meant to be taken as a sickly promise of more sexual endeavors to come, but he could feel the genuine emotion in her statement.

“I hope so too,” Levi said quietly after she had already left, the once comforting quiet of his room now making him feel lonely and empty.

The sound of pounding on his door woke Levi abruptly, making the raven-haired man growl in anger and annoyance. It was rare that the poor man got to sleep, not only because customers could come in at almost any time, day or night, but also because of the horrible insomnia that often plagued him. It made him even more irritable to be woken up, his body sore and his mind groggy as another round of pounding roused him further and prompted him to swing his legs over the side of the small cot he was provided when not busy fucking, and make his way to the door.

“What?” Levi snapped when he swung open the door, genuinely surprised that the pig who owned him hadn’t just burst into his room like he always did, raving about yet another customer for Levi.

“Get your shit, you’re going to the surface.”

Levi blinked. This had to be some kind of joke. The brothel owner never let anyone under his foot leave the brothel, let alone the Underground. Even the highest class noble women couldn’t request for him to come to them, the old man not trusting his prostitutes to be sent back. Especially Levi.

“Oi, your ears gone to shit now? Grab your pathetic bullshit and get out of my sight,” the man snarled, his small, watery eyes narrowed on Levi like he was the scum of the world.

Shaking himself out of it, Levi didn’t hesitate for another moment, rushing back into his room to grab the pitifully few things he had with him, including the leather jacket he had gotten from (Y/N), draping it over his shoulders to hide his healing injuries just in case it was a trick. The festival was still going on afterall, this could just be some ruse the old man set up to make the experience more interesting for the men and women who paid for him.

When Levi returned, the man pulled a gun from his jacket pocket and jerked his head, signaling Levi to follow him. Levi knew better than to risk running. In his full health he could’ve easily escaped from the man’s clutches, but with little more than a half hour of rest, his injured body, weak muscles, and the remnants of the drugs still working through his system, Levi didn’t trust himself to outrun a bullet, and knew the pig wouldn’t hesitate to fire, no matter how valuable Levi was to him. 

Even though Levi kept expecting the brothel owner to turn down a secluded street and lead him right into an ambush or trick of some sort, he never did, leading Levi right to the stairs exiting the Underground. When they reached the guards at the base of the stairs, the man took two slips of paper from the inner pocket of his worn brown coat and showed it to the guard. When he was cleared to continue on, the brothel owner turned and motioned for Levi to stay close as he stomped his way up the stairs, grumbling incoherently to himself all the while.

Breaching the surface, Levi brought an arm to his face, shielding his eyes from the intensity of the sun as it attacked his face with warm, bright light. He eventually got used to it, slowly lowering his arm and rushing to catch up with his boss, who was impatiently grunting for him to hurry up.

Passing through what appeared to be a busy market square, Levi followed the brothel owner along the lively cobblestone streets until they reached a quieter part of the town, stopping along the edge of a beautiful flower field, the grassy meadow filled with colorful blossoms that secretly took Levi’s breath away.

The sound of horse hooves caught his attention, and Levi looked up only to have the air fly from his lungs when (Y/N)’s bright face came into view, the stunning woman seated astride whom he assumed to be Sashay and flanked by two armed men.

“Right on time,” the brothel owner grumbled, his little pig eyes narrowing when he saw her passive aggressive smile.

“Of course I’m on time, this is my deal, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” the man growled. “Are you sure you want this one? He’s my most popular, I’d hate to lose him.”

“Yes, he’s the one I want. Besides, I believe the money I’ve paid you has far exceeded the profit you have earned from having him around. I’m sure you will be able to manage.”

The man sneered at her but didn’t respond, using the muzzle of the gun to push Levi forward and digging in his pocket to fish out the same pieces of paper he had shown the guards on the stairs, handing them to (Y/N).

“Thank you, sir. I believe we are done here.”

The brothel owner slunk off, casting dark looks at her but refusing to argue as he hunkered off to head back down to the Underground, where he would continue to rot like the rat he was. Levi watched him go before turning to (Y/N), surprised by the bright smile she flashed him when he met her gaze.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?”

(Y/N) smiled even wider and held up the pieces of paper she had been handed. One of them was the file labeling him as a slave to the brothel owner, keeping him from escaping, and the other was a bill of sale. His eyes widened when he saw her signature on the bottom of both pages, officially registering her as his new owner. He opened his mouth, about to speak when she took both pages in her hands and ripped them in half, letting the torn pages float onto the street below, forgotten, useless.

“There, you’re free now.”

Levi was at a loss for words, his mouth gaping open. “(Y/N)? What-”

“Before you ask me what my intentions are, I’m just going to tell you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about your life, your sacrifice, your pain, and I decided I could do something about it. You are human, and damn it, you are an important one! I couldn’t just leave you there. Now, you won’t have to work for anyone but yourself. You won’t have to cater to anyone else’s needs and you can fulfill whatever dreams you have.”

“But, that must’ve cost you a fortune, to cover more than the amount of money he’s made off of using me? What about-”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Levi. I want to use my funds for good, put them towards the people who need it the most. That includes you. Especially you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you having to stay in that shit hole for even a second longer than necessary.”

“What do I do now, then?” Levi asked, trying to focus on keeping his voice steady.

“Well, you can do whatever you want now. You’re a free man, you can find a house and settle down somewhere, or you can go back to the Underground and pick up your life where you left off. You can join the military, or you can start a small business here in the square. It’s anything you want. You get to choose your life now.”

“And what if I don’t want to do any of those things?”

(Y/N) couldn’t help the smile that flashed across her face then, her heart filling with warmth. “Like I said, it’s your choice, you can do whatever you want, carve your own path, but if you want to come with me, you’re always welcome to.”

Levi’s lip twitched and he took a step forward, reaching up to pat Sashay’s muzzle as he got closer. “Alright, I’ll follow you.”

(Y/N) beamed before turning around to nod at each one of her guards, dismissing them. When they had left, presumably returning to (Y/N)’s family estate, she reached down for him, her hand extended for him to take. Placing his rough palm into her warm hand, he allowed her to help him up into the saddle behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist to keep himself secure as (Y/N) kicked Sashay into an easy canter. Sighing blissfully, Levi let himself relax, his chin coming down to rest on (Y/N)’s shoulder as they made their way home, together.

Levi had never expected to see the day when he would willingly go with a noble, but then again, he never thought he’d ever meet a noble like (Y/N). Now, as he felt her warmth soak into his chest, he knew he’d made the right decision.

Levi finally felt the remnant effects of the drugs in his system fade away as the sun beams broke through the fluffy clouds in the sky, leaving his mind clear. He was making this decision all on his own, nothing left to impair his judgement, and no matter what, he knew he would never regret the path he chose to take just so long as (Y/N) stayed by his side.