#NOPE I'M ALREADY SPIRALING

[edenesth]

[8:54 PM]

"You okay, baby?" Mingi asked softly, instinctively wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he guided you into the elevator of your apartment building just as the doors opened. You hummed, leaning into his side for comfort. "I've been better."

You had been feeling a little under the weather all day, and being the paranoid type, your boyfriend quickly picked you up from work after noticing your less enthusiastic replies during lunch break. After a visit to the nearest clinic and grabbing some food, you were finally home. All you wanted now was to clean up, crash on your bed, and bask in his embrace, forgetting everything else.

"Just hold on a bit longer. We're almost there," he reassured you, murmuring against your forehead and pressing a lingering kiss on your skin after selecting the floor of your shared home.

Fluttering your eyes shut, you melted into his hold, the familiar hum of the elevator climbing to your floor offering a moment of peace. You could already picture the sweet scene of home welcoming you both after a long, tiring day. So close. So close to being home, so close to paradise, so close—

Until it wasn't.

Your eyes flew open and a yelp escaped your lips as you felt Mingi tense, his grip tightening around you. The elevator had jerked to a sudden, unnatural stop. Eighth floor. So freaking close, just two more floors and you would have been home, but nope—

No, no, no, no, god, no.

This can't be happening. This isn't happening. You were stuck. Panic surged through you like a tidal wave, and before you knew it, you were hyperventilating. Mingi cupped your face, forcing you to meet his eyes, pressing his forehead gently against yours. "Hey, hey, hey. It's gonna be okay, I'm right here with you. Look at me, baby. Just focus on me, hm?" You nodded, tears welling up as your heart pounded in your chest. Claustrophobia clawed at you, turning this moment into your worst nightmare.

"Okay, good job. Do you remember the breathing exercises we always do?" he asked gently, his fingers caressing your cheeks and wiping away stray tears as you nodded. "Be a good girl and keep doing it for me, yeah?" You nodded again, taking deep, steady breaths as you had practised with him countless times for moments like this.

While you struggled to focus on breathing, he quickly moved to the control panel, pressing the emergency button and urgently communicating with security to send help as soon as possible. Thankfully, the handyman had already been alerted by the guards who noticed the situation through the live CCTV feed. Reassured that help was on the way, he turned back to you, his heart aching at the sight of tears once again streaming down your cheeks, your eyes squeezed shut, and your fists pressed tightly against your ears.

Seeing your distress, he stepped towards you, careful not to overwhelm you with his presence. He gently wrapped his arms around you, offering a secure but non-restrictive embrace. "I'm right here with you," he whispered, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tide of panic. "Focus on my voice, baby. Just breathe with me."

The elevator felt smaller by the second, your breaths coming out in shaky gasps despite your efforts to stay calm. Mingi's soothing voice and gentle embrace were the only tethers keeping you from spiralling completely, but the suffocating fear was relentless, gnawing at the edges of your sanity. You felt trapped in a nightmare, the walls closing in as your heart pounded wildly in your chest.

Carefully, he guided your head into the crook of his neck, his hand gently cradling the back of your head. He began stroking your hair in a calming manner, his touch gentle and rhythmic. "I'm right here, my love," he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. "I'm never leaving you. You're not alone. We're in this together."

His words wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, each a lifeline pulling you away from the edge of panic. "You're safe with me," he continued, his voice filled with love. "I won't let anything happen to you. Just keep breathing, baby. Nice and slow."

With each stroke of his hand through your hair, you felt a small measure of calm returning. His presence, solid and reassuring, became your anchor. The walls of the elevator seemed to recede slightly, the oppressive fear easing its grip on your mind. You focused on the steady rise and fall of his chest, matching your breathing to his. His calm heartbeat thrummed gently against you, a soothing rhythm that eased your frantic pulse.

Your boyfriend's whispers continued, a steady stream of loving reassurances. "I love you more than anything," he murmured. "You're so strong, and I'm so proud of you. Just focus on my voice, on my touch." He pressed soft kisses against your temple, your cheek, and your forehead, each one a tender reminder of his support.

Gradually, your breathing slowed, the frantic gasps giving way to deeper, steadier breaths. The panic that had threatened to overwhelm you began to ebb, replaced by a fragile but growing sense of calm. Mingi's arms around you felt like a shield against the world, his love a powerful force keeping the fear at bay.

"That's it," he soothed, his hand never ceasing its gentle movements through your hair. "You're doing so well. Just a little longer, and we'll be out of here. I'm right here with you, always."

With his words and touch guiding you, the nightmare began to lose its hold. You clung to the lifeline he provided. The sensation of his steady breathing, his calm heartbeat, and the soft kisses he pressed against your skin comforted you deeply, making you feel truly safe and loved in his embrace.

He had done such a good job consoling you that the next thing you knew, the elevator doors were being pried open and the guards quickly ushered you both out. Knowing better than to take the next elevator, your boyfriend guided you up two flights of stairs and finally, you were settled back home.

While he got to work putting your things aside, the sight of his sturdy back was all you could see. You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. His actions paused, and he covered your hands with his, turning to face you over his shoulder. "What is it, baby? Are you alright?"

You nodded against his shoulder. "I will be if you stay with me forever, Song Mingi."

He turned fully to face you, his eyes softening as he cupped your face in his hands. "Forever and always," he whispered, leaning down to kiss you gently. "I'll always be here, no matter what."

Normally, you would have cringed and teased him for the cheesy words, but at that moment, surrounded by the warmth of his love and the safety of your home, your heart fluttered with a deep, undeniable happiness. You knew you could face anything as long as you had him by your side.

ATEEZ Masterlist

This is based on a dream I had of our princess comforting me in such a situation because I do have a severe case of claustrophobia and this would be an absolute nightmare to me. But y'know, if I had a Song Mingi to comfort me, maybe I wouldn't mind it as much🤧

HAHA anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this random little timestamp and as always, let me know your thoughts! <3

General ATEEZ Tag list:

@aurasblue @marievllr-abg @itsvxlentine @minghaoslatina @huachengsbestie01 |

@evidive @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr @cheolliehugs @ho3-for-yunho |

@the-kpop-simp @itstheghostofmypast @vantediary @green-agent @skzline |

@sharksandminhos @writingwieny @heyitsmetonid @tinyteezer @hollxe1 |

@pandabur666 @vampzity @tournesol155 @lilactangerine @oddracha |

@haven-cove @idfkeddieishot @vic0921 @vnessalau @apriecotte |

@bangtannie7

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[littlemissaddict]

I Don't Like You - Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

This was based on a dream I had about Sam and Torrez teasing for being jealous over Bucky having a 'girlfriend' and they way of proving that I don't is a staring contest and after that I got as little carried away which you can see by the word count.

Word count: 4553 Warnings: Angst, jealousy, mentions of blood (nothing descriptive), not edited I think that's it but please let me know of anything else.

“You know I can’t make eye contact” she glares at Sam, unintentionally making eye contact with him where he sits across the table from her.

“You seem to be doing just fine now” he retorts with a smug grin on his face.

“Yeah well it’s easy to do with people I don’t like” she responds, trying not to let herself give in and laugh at his dramatics as he clutches a hand to his chest as he pitifully asks, ‘you don’t like me?’ Instead she settles on a roll of her eyes as she responds, “Not at the minute no”

“Should be easy for you then seeing as you ‘don’t like him” Torrez chimes in quoting her from just moments ago when they accused her of liking Bucky and being jealous that he has a girlfriend and their way of proving it, for her to hold eye contact with him for more than thirty seconds.

“I don’t and you two are just being childish” she huffs, knowing that there is no way she is getting out of it without doing as they ask and revealing her secret feelings for Bucky.

“We wouldn’t have to be like this if you’d just admit the crush you're harbouring on our resident super soldier” Sam pushes again.

“Resident super soldier? I thought that was Steve” she deflects, it’s a low blow to them all but she’s had enough.

“Don’t be a smart ass” Sam responds, all the light hearted foolery gone from moments before.

She sighs, giving in, “Fine let’s just get this over with” as she turns in her seat to face Bucky who has not said a word this entire time which seemed a little strange but then again it wasn’t as if said much anyway. Settling back into her seat as she still tries to feign control over the situation that has rapidly spiralled out of her control, she waits for Bucky to signal he's ready and then Sam's counting them in. 

With one final sigh she gives in and meets Bucky's eyes and as cliche as it sounds she can feel herself getting lost in the blue of them as the noise of the cafeteria seems muffled, even forgetting about Sam and Torrez watching the two of them intently. This is dangerous, she needs to pull away but then that would only confirm what they already know so she forces herself to hang in there until she's in the clear but then they breeze right through it. Neither she nor Bucky seem to hear Sam's countdown, nor when Torrez tells them they're done, it's only when Sam sticks a hand between them and interrupts their line of sight do they finally snap out of it.

She doesn't know if it's just her imagination but Bucky seems just as dazed as her as they blink the world back into focus, the noise around them resuming its original volume. “See I told you I didn't like him” she stutters out, her voice breaking as she rounds on their audience.

“No, no, nope you have just confirmed that you do if anything” Sam corrected her.

“No the bet was that I could hold eye contact if I didn't like him, I think you've had too many hits to the head and it's making you confused” she says through gritted teeth.

“Yeah but do you not feel the electricity between the two of you, I can feel it on the other side of the table” Torrez chimes in, drawing her attention from a smirking Sam, “Yeah, I uh think if I get any closer I'm literally going to get zapped” he adds with a laugh which Sam joins in on.

“You know what I don't need this” she huffs, flustered and embarrassed, avoiding looking at Bucky as she pushes her chair back and storms away from the table, ignoring the calls of her name from Sam.

In fact she avoids them for the next few days, which is a challenge since she's with them on missions but she disappears as soon as she gets the chance, not hanging around them for any longer than she has to. Until she has no choice.

“Okay intel says our target is going to be here tonight” Torrez reveals, sliding two invites across the table towards where she and Bucky stood. She didn't even need to look down at them to know it'd been some fancy party that would require them to dress the part, she'd read enough of the packet they'd been given on him to know it'd be his type of thing.

“Your job is to..”

“Let me guess we're going in undercover with some made up alias that you've managed to convince our target need to attend” she spoke, interrupting Torrez who was only trying to do his job and deliver the brief of the mission to them but the air between them was as tense now as it had been when she walked out on them last week.

“Yes and no, I'm not involved in this one” Sam reveals, his voice sounding strained as he adds, “You and Bucky are, you'll be undercover as a married couple interested in joining their enterprise”

“Married couple?” She choked out, he really had to be joking, “Surely you could have come up with something else” she added, directly her glare towards Torrez now as if she was blaming him for it.

Sam shook his head, “Our target has a certain special interest in the ladies, we need you to play into it” he explained.

“And him?” She asked, gesturing to Bucky at her side.

“He's needed because believe it or not he's more intimidating than either of us two” Sam replies motioning between himself and Torrez, “Plus he has the super soldier serum running through his veins and a metal arm, if it does go down hill you're gonna need him” he adds as if it's an afterthought but them he's sees the look on her face and knows exactly what she's going to try and argue. “He's more subtle than the wings and we can't sneak in any guns as there's a metal detector on the way in”

“Metal detector? He's got a fucking vibranium arm, how are you going to sneak that in?” She asks in disbelief and yeah she might be taking this too far but she's too far gone to even try and rein it back in.

“He's part of an experimental trial offering upgraded prosthetics to war veterans” Torrez states and finally she had no comeback as they really had thought of everything.

Her shoulders sagged, the fight went out of her as she realised that there was no way out of this, she was going to have to play nice with Bucky. “How much time do we have?” She asks.

“You'll be leaving in just under two hours” Sam confirms as he motions for Torrez to grab the bags hung on the wall opposite them, “Your outfits, you better hurry”

She stands in front of the full length mirror in the makeshift dressing room admiring the black floor length dress she'd been given. The high neckline that dropped into a deep v at the bottom of her back and the thigh high split on the right side of the dress, it had certainly been picked with care as it was sure to draw their targets attention.

And it seems Sam, Torrez and Bucky's as she met them back in the main room where Torrez had set up his surveillance equipment, ready to be their eyes and ears on the ground. Bucky moved to say something as she came to a stop in front of him, warmth flooding through her under his gaze. “Don't, let's just get this over with” she tells him, instead accepting the arm he offers her as they head out to the waiting car.

Bucky adjusts his tie as the car begins to drive, face scrunched up in discomfort as he fiddles with it. “Hey, here let me help?” She offers, sliding closer to him before he can even reply as she's seriously concerned he's going to manage to strangle himself with it from the way he's tugging on it. She reaches her hands up, sliding under the stark white collar to check the tie is not twisted before loosening the knot that rests at the base of his neck. “Better?” She asks after straightening the length of the tie and pulling her hands away from him, aware of his heavy gaze that had been on her since she slid across the leather seat to help him.

“Don't think it was wrong, just makes me feel claustrophobic wearing it” he grumbles slouching back into the seat.

“Then don't wear it” she suggests, they may be playing different parts tonight but if he can't learn to live with it then it has to go. They can't risk their target seeing through their façade just because Bucky can't cope with a tie, “dump it and undo the top few buttons, it looks hotter like that anyway” she shrugs casually as if she hadn't just hinted to Bucky that she found him hot.

He looks down at her contemplating her words and she thinks that he may just deal with it as he's dealt with worse things than a tie in his years but then his hands come up to the tie. “‘Happy wife, happy life’ that's what they say nowadays, right?” He asks as the tie falls from his neck and he focuses on undoing the top few buttons as she instructed.

“Yeah, guess so,” she replies, “doesn’t really apply to us though” she adds, feeling the need to remind him that they aren’t together so he can do what he pleases; it has nothing to do with her as long as it doesn’t compromise the mission.

They breeze through security checks, clearly having gotten Torrez’s memo about the ‘prosthetic’ and then they’re joining the party. She guides Bucky along to the bar where she flashes the server a wide smile. “I’ll have a gin and tonic and your finest whiskey please” she tells him with a wink as she hears Bucky grumble beside her.

“Do you really think now's the best time for a drink”

She smiles playfully up at him, batting her lashes as she pushes up on her toes so that she can lean into whisper into his ear. To anyone around the pair it would look like an intimate moment between lovers but really it’s just a ploy so that she can talk to him without anyone listening in, other than Sam and Torrez that is. “We need to play the part, blend in but I can get you a water if you’d prefer” she explains before pulling away, glad that he’s managed to hide his surprise at her sudden closeness.

The barman interrupts their little moment, setting the drinks down on the counter in front of them and their total. She bats her eyes yet again at Bucky who simply rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket for his wallet to pay as she reaches for her drink and takes a sip as he hands the money over. Honestly she'd feel bad having him pay if she didn't know that he'd be compensated for it once the mission was completed, besides it wasn’t her fault she had nowhere to keep any money in the dress that had been chosen for her.

“Now what?” Bucky asks and she thinks it's mainly because she took charge to begin with that he thinks she has some idea of how the night will play out.

“We wait” she states, taking another sip of her drink as she scans the room for any sign of their target yet she finds none.

Time draws on and one drink turns into another, another that she tries to nurse for as long as she can without seeming suspicious as she can't afford to lose her head. She is slightly jealous of Bucky's tolerance to alcohol but then again he does have the advantage of the super soldier serum course through his veins but she can tell he's just as on edge as she is. They've been waiting too long with no sign of the man they came here for, in fact she was just about to suggest they call it when a woman approached them.

She felt Bucky tense beside her, his automatic instincts to protect kicking in as he slid an arm around her waist which seemed to settle him for the moment. The unnamed woman addresses them, well their aliases, and informs them that she had been sent by their target and if they'd like to follow her.

Both she and Bucky felt something was off and she could only hope that Sam would be ready with back up if they needed it. Following her through the crowd towards a door at the back of the hall they were in, she led them through a maze of hallways that she struggled to keep track of until they were led into a room where stood the man they had come here for.

“Ah come in, come in” he greeted the two of them, gesturing for them to take a seat on the plush chairs in front of him. “We have lots to discuss” he beamed, nodding to the woman they still didn't know the name of as she took her exit of the room and shut the door behind her. It did nothing to ease the tension both her and Bucky felt but they were trapped with nowhere to run. “Sorry for all the secrecy tonight but as you can well imagine our work is only known to a select few so it did come as a surprise to be sought out directly” he explained turning his attention back to him.

“Yes but you were highly recommended” she spoke, hoping to clear up any suspicions he may have as she forced her body to relax into the seat.

“So you said in your enquiry” he stated as he perched on the edge of the desk in front of her with barely a glance in Buckys direction but that was to be expected. “Though I don't understand how you came to find out about our operations here” he asked, leaning forward towards her.

She repeated the name of the guy they had busted that had identified him as the head of operations and that to pull the plug on it all they would need to take him out. “We were looking to expand our opportunities and he said that you may be able to help” she answered, laying it on thick that they needed his help in hopes of appealing to his ego.

“I could but you see there is one slight problem I have, you've come to me right after his arrest, now pardon me for the accusation but as you can well understand the last thing I need is the authorities butting their nose into things” he stated, a knowing look being thrown their way. “So as a protocol I did some digging into you two only to find nothing, so now you see that was your first mistake” he smirked, pushing from the table in favour of pacing in front of them as if he hadn't just revealed that he knew that their intentions were false. “Now imagine my surprise when I found out that the former Winter Soldier and a government agent wanted to meet with me, most would have declined but not me, I have a proposal for you both” he reveals, speaking to the both of them but his eyes never leave her as he comes to a stop in front of her.

Out of the corner of her eye she can see Bucky tense as he gets closer to her, ready to make a move if he even thinks about harming her but instead he reaches out a hand to cup her chin, forcing her to look at him. She rolls her eyes at how predictable his words were, “Why would we want to work for you?” She replies, her words laced with venom as she tries to pull her face from his hold.

He releases her face without complaint, “Well there’s the perks of the sale, being in charge of your own operations and,” he smirks, leaning in closer so that his mouth was by her ear, “for you sweet thing, we could work out a little something extra” he whispers before moving back to her face.

She grimaces at his words, watching as he leans into her, head angled in preparation to kiss her but she doesn’t let him get that far. She spits in his face, feeling a sense of relief as he pulls away, unable to hide his disgust as he wipes his face with the back of his hand. Though the look doesn’t last that long as his smirk returns, “Feisty, now I can see why the soldier likes you so much” he says finally turning his attention away from her and back to Bucky as if he’s just remembered he’s still in the room. When she follows his gaze, Bucky’s hands are gripping the armrest of the chair so hard that she’s surprised it’s not broken and his eyes are set hard against the man in front of them in a way she can only describe as a look to kill.

“Now of course you can say no but I’m afraid that won’t end well for either of you” he adds, almost as if it’s an afterthought as he moves away from the two of them to sit back against the desk.

Bucky speaks for the first time since they entered the room, “What makes you think it’ll end badly for us, like you said I’m the former Winter Soldier I’ve gotten out of worse than this”

The man in front of them chuckles, “Oh I’m sure you have but there’s one major difference this time you didn’t have your little girlfriend with you”

She see’s Bucky’s jaw tighten yet he doesn’t argue his words, “No but we do have back up” he counters which doesn’t even seem to phase their target.

“Oh right” he smiles, tapping his ear as he hints towards their in-ears and their contact with Sam and Torrez but now she thinks about it the two of them have been surprisingly quiet all evening. “That was your second mistake, once you entered the building they ceased to work, protocol you see” he simply shrugged.

The malfunction certainly didn’t go amiss with Sam and Torrez over in their makeshift control room, “When was the last time we heard from them?” Sam urged, one hand on the back of Torrezs' chair and the other on the table he sat at.

“Just before they entered, they must have some kind of communications blocker but we still have visual at least” he answered, bringing up on the screen the image of her and Bucky at the bar. “Doesn’t like him my ass, look at the two of them” he snickered watching her push up onto her toes to talk into Bucky’s ear, “and look at him, didn’t you say he had a girlfriend?” Torrez looks confused as he rounds on Sam.

Sam sighs, “Just a wind up to push them together but we’ve got more important things to worry about now, like whoever this is” he reminds Torrez as he points to the woman approaching the pair on screen. “Can you follow them?” Sam asks as Torrez nods, his fingers moving against the keyboard as he switches between the cameras to follow them to wherever they are being led.

He follows them through the maze of corridors, only losing sight of them when they enter the room at the end of the corridor and they can only watch helplessly when the woman leaves the room again without them. “Can you figure out where in the building they are?” Sam questions, moving around behind him.

“Why? You going in?” Torrez questions, trying to figure out how Sam could possibly sneak past the beefed up security.

“No, I’m sending in Red Wing” he replies, already having Red Wing ready and waiting for instructions. With no more questions to ask Torrez gets to work finding their location in the building within minutes and sending it to Sam.

It takes longer than Sam would like for Red Wing to find the window into the room where he can see her and Bucky seated in front of their target who has his back to the window, thankfully. It also seems that she and Bucky miss his presence as well which works out better for him by giving him the element of surprise but more importantly he can hear what's being said in the room.

“Now if you’ve made your decision because I have a party to get too”

Sam sees him move his hand to press a button, to what he assumes is connected to his goons to let them know to come in, not that Sam was willing to take that chance. Without a second thought he engaged Red Wings targeting system so as to lessen the chance of hitting the other two in the room.

At the first sound of the shattering Bucky was quick off the chair and pulling her into him so he could use his body to shield her from any stray bullets as neither of them knew what was happening, let alone that it was Sam coming to save them. The sound of the bullets drew in the guards who came running straight into the bullets and ending up as the same fate of their master. Once the bullets stopped and there were no more guards appearing did Bucky finally peek out to see none other than Red Wing hovering by the window. Moments later the sound of the fire alarm going off drew the both of them to their senses, “We have to get out of here” she urges, tugging on Bucky’s arm.

Bucky follows without complaint, taking her hand and taking off through the door and through the hallways that he’d memorised on the way here knowing that they would probably have to make a quick getaway and they couldn’t afford to get lost in the maze.

“Wait Bucky, need to get these heels off” she panted next to him, running was not her favourite thing but running in stilettos was definitely at the top of the list of least favourite things to do.

“No time” he stated, reaching for her and hoisting her up over his shoulder as she shrieked in surprise as he took off running again.

When they made it back to the main hall where guests were still evacuating, he placed her back onto her feet and led her into the crowd of people as they tried to blend in to make their way outside. Thankfully Sam had their driver waiting for them and only once they were in the safety of the car away from the chaos did they finally breathe a sigh of release.

Bucky turned to her, eyes skimming over her body, “Are you okay? No cuts, no blood?” he questioned as she looked down at her body.

“I think I’m good,” she confirmed, “you?” She added turning her attention back to him and noticing the tears in his jacket, probably from where he pulled them both to the floor covered in the broken glass but otherwise he looked unharmed.

“Don’t need to worry about me doll, I’ve been through worse” he chuckles and she doesn’t appreciate that he doesn’t seem to care for his own well being after that but that was something to discuss another time.

“Hey, thank you for protecting me back there” she says, softly leaning against his side instead of looking at him because she didn’t think she’d be able to hide her feelings from him.

Bucky wraps an arm around her, holding her close, “No need to thank me, that’s what I was there for, remember” he smiles down at her.

“I’m serious Buck, I’ve been awful to you for the past week and you haven’t done anything wrong, I’m sorry” she pouts pulling away from him so that he can see that she really does mean it, she’s just too scared to admit that she likes him.

Bucky’s face softens, “I get it, really and I don’t blame you, the others pushed you to do something you were uncomfortable with just to prove a point that didn’t need proving,” he speaks with a sad smile on his face, “I’m sorry I didn’t stop them” he adds, reaching over to cup her cheek but it all feels oddly intimate for someone who supposedly already has a girlfriend, but she blocks it out as she automatically leans into his touch.

“You don’t, not really, I don’t dislike you quite the opposite but it doesn’t really matter because you’re already taken” she sighs, finally coming to her senses and pulling away from his touch. Bucky doesn’t respond as she pulls away, her head leaning back against the headrest as she closes her eyes to block it all out. She knows it’s because she’s messed up by confessing to him and that it’s only going to make their team even more awkward than she’s already made for the past week. In fact she’s so lost in her own thoughts about maybe asking to transfer teams that she misses Bucky shifting beside her until she feels his breath against her face.

Opening her eyes she fights the urge to scream in surprise as she hadn’t expected him to be so close but she recovers just as quick, knowing that it’s Bucky, “You know I don’t actually have a girlfriend, right?” He questions, seriousness written all over his face that she believes him, “I’ve not even been looking because I’d already found her but I didn’t know she felt the same until now” he smiles as she stutters in surprise at his confession. Stutters that are silenced by the soft press of his lips against hers as he gives her the space to pull away if she wants but she doesn’t, instead she winds her arms around his shoulders to pull him closer as she presses harder against him, savouring the feeling of his lips and the knowledge that he feels the same.

They’re so lost in each other that they don’t even realise the car has stopped moving, they only realise when the car door opens and Sam’s voice sounds out of nowhere. “You don’t like him, huh?” he teases, thankful that his friends are back in one piece. 

She groans as they pull away from each other and Bucky, already having had enough of Sam, pushes his flesh hand into Sam’s face and uses that to push him away from the door so they can get out. Sam’s laughing as they get out of the car and despite his teasing, he’s happy that the two of them finally got together, even if it meant he’d have to probably break up multiple make out sessions while they’re on future missions.

[heartshapedmisery]

thinking about art x fem reader whose also a tennis player, she gets hurt playing practice against art and he feels so bad.. leading to other things to help her feel better

like best friends to lovers type thing IDK JUST A THOUGHT for a blurb

IM LOVING THIS IDEA THANK U ANON! <3 (this was meant to be shorter but i got so carried away with it lmao)

tags: heavy makeout, slight dry-humping, fingering...

No because Art truly is the competitive type, so if you were to suggest a friendly game after practice he would definitely take it way too seriously...

"What, you're giving up on me now?" he'd taunt when you were getting worn out, bent over with your hands on your knees to catch your breath. You looked up at him to see his knowing smirk, twirling the racket in his hand impatiently.

You didn't expect him to play so hard, since you thought it would just be light-hearted like you had suggested. Though that was the thing about Art; he never went easy on anybody, especially not you—his best friend.

"Nope," you said simply, brushing your fly-away hairs out of your face. "Just wondering why the hell I suggested this."

Art laughed, but didn't give you any sympathies. He waited for you to get back into position before serving to you, and you got back into the game.

It seemed to go well for a while, the bright yellow ball going back and forth between the two of you with a mix of grunts. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, which is why you didn't feel your ankle twist from underneath of you until your body fell onto the court harshly.

A confused whimper sounded from your throat as you rolled over, grasping at your ankle that was now searing with pain. A few tears welled in your eyes as your face contorted with discomfort, the sound of Art's racket smacking down against the court as he quickly jumped over the net and crouched down next to you.

"Oh my god," his eyes scanned your face, his heart sinking at the way you silently sobbed with your head lulled back on the court. He quickly examined your ankle, realizing that it was already swelling and needed to be iced.

"It's okay, it's okay," he assured you sweetly, helping you sit up before wrapping his arm around your waist. "Put your arm around my neck and we're gonna stand up, alright?"

You did as he told you, slinking it around his neck and fisting his shirt as you fought back a cry when he pulled you up, the pressure and bloodflow to your foot making the pain worse.

He tried to help you walk as best as you could, holding you upright while you put all of your weight on your left foot and hobbled with him back to his dorm since it was only a block away from the tennis courts.

When you did finally make it, he helped you over to his bed and helped you sit down gently, before going to his mini fridge and tying up an ice pack for you to put on your ankle.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," he shook his head defeatedly, crouching down in front of you and carefully wrapping the bag around your ankle. The new sensation made your breath hitch, before the pain slowly started to subside.

"No its okay, it was an accident. It's no one's fault," you told him honestly, your mind slightly fogged at the feeling of his hand cupping the back of your calf as he held your foot up. He mindlessly rubbed your soft skin, unaware of the affect it had on you as his mind spiraled.

"No, but I pushed you too hard," he explained, his voice low. "It's my fault."

You shook your head, before taking his face in your hands. You cupped his jaw softly, your forgiving eyes holding his gaze.

"No it's not, stopping beating yourself up about it."

"I know, I just-"

You abruptly cut him off by bringing your lips to his, the apology falling dead in his mouth. You caught him completely off guard, but he still melted into the kiss, allowing his hands to run up the sides of your thighs.

"Now will you stop?" you whispered once you finally pulled away, running your fingers subconsciously through his blonde locks of hair.

He nodded, before pulling you back in for another kiss. He took it upon himself to lay you down against his bed, slotting himself in between your slightly spread legs.

You didn't know why, but this felt so easy. It didn't feel weird or awkward, given that he had been your best friend since high school. If anything, it made perfect sense.

"Is this okay?" he whispered, cradling your head with his free hand while the other ran up your side. You nodded eagerly, giving him the green light to bring his lips back to yours.

Your heartbeat picked up as you felt him harden beneath his shorts against your thigh the more intense the kiss became, his hips slowly beginning to move in seek of friction.

You slipped you tongue into his mouth, earning a moan from him as his hand wandered down your body before grasping your waist and thumbing your hip. Your non-injured leg wrapped around his waist in attempt to bring him closer with a moan, completely enthralled with the feeling of him.

Suddenly, your breath hitched at the feeling of his fingers slipping underneath the waistband of your skirt, dipping into your panties. You let out a shaky moan as Art sunk his middle and ring finger into your soaked cunt, curling them upwards gently as he continued kissing down your jaw and the soft skin of your neck.

It drove him wild how wet you already were for him, the muffled squelching sound of his fingers moving in and out of you making his dick harder.

It didn't take long for him to have your thighs shaking around his hips and your toes curling in your tennis shoes, disgruntled moans mixing with his soft grunts.

You would've never guessed you'd be sprawled out on your best friend's bed coming down from the orgasm he had just given you, but you definitely weren't complaining.

[maul-of-shame]

[ABOUT "THE RINGS OF POWER" RUMOURS GOING AROUND:]

Sooooooooo, I’ve been seeing this swirling storm of chaos over on Twitter and Tumblr, and it seems like shippers (and non-shippers alike) are whipping themselves into a frenzy over this “Amazon Preview program” post. People are panicking, spinning theories, and already mourning the show as if the Valar themselves have announced its doom.

First of all—breathe, besties. Lemme grab those reins before y’all ride headfirst into Mount Doom on a horse named Speculation. Let’s take a step back, re-saddle our ponies of reason, and navigate this mess with a clear head. Because honestly? This panic spiral isn’t doing anyone any good, and it’s time we address it properly.

This post claiming to be from someone in the Amazon Preview program has thrown out the idea that The Rings of Power might get canceled, based on one alleged survey question asking how viewers would feel about such a possibility.

Naturally and obviously, that one sentence has snowballed into chaos: shippers blaming each other, Haladriels claiming to be the sole saviors of the show, and everyone else clutching their lembas bread wondering if this truly spells the end of Amazon’s multi-billion-dollar endeavor.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

But before we dive into why, let’s lay this out clearly. Speculation without evidence is just that—speculation. Right now, this rumor has the same credibility as Gollum’s “juicy fish” promises. So, let’s chill out for a second, untangle the web of panic, and address this mess calmly, because trust me, The Rings of Power is not about to vanish into the West just yet.

1. No proof = no panic. While the original poster claims to be part of the Amazon Preview program, we have no concrete evidence that this survey or its specific question even exists. I'm sorry that's not me being mean, that's a fact. Until Amazon makes an official statement, take this with a grain of salt. Let’s not give ourselves heart palpitations over unverified claims. We don’t need to borrow worry from the future.

2. Viewership ≠ Haladriels alone. I’m sorry (not really), but this idea that Haladriels are the "main audience" and thus the show’s sole reason for survival? Nope. Stop right there. While the Haladriel fandom is vocal and sizable, they are not the entire viewership. Millions of people around the world are tuning in for the larger story of Middle-earth, the intricate lore, the stunning visuals, and their own favorite characters and dynamics—whether that’s Elrond & Galadriel, Durin & Disa, the Harfoots, or even Arondir's badass moments. Amazon didn’t pour half a billion dollars into a single ship.

Haladriels, who are you? The dwarves showing up at the last minute to the Siege of Eregion, claiming to be the sole saviors of the battle? Let’s pump the brakes on this idea, because while your contributions to the fandom are visible and often loud, you are not the entire viewer base. You’re part of the tapestry of fans, not the whole thing.

Yes, you’re passionate. Yes, you create fan art, fanfics, and engage actively in discussions. And yes, maybe you’re a good chunk of the audience (you are).

But—and I cannot stress this enough—you are not the majority of viewers Amazon is depending on for the show’s success.

The show has millions of viewers globally, and a good number of them don’t EVEN engage with shipping.

They’re here for the lore, the spectacle, the drama, or maybe just to see an elf and a dwarf bicker their way into a beautiful friendship.

Amazon’s decisions about the show—renewals, budgets, story arcs—aren’t hinging on one ship. They’re analyzing data from a massive, global audience across dozens of countries, not just the trending tags on Twitter or Tumblr. And even if Haladriels make up a decent slice of the pie, it’s not the whole bakery. This is Middle-earth, not a kingdom under one banner.

While the ship is part of the fandom's flavor, it is not the main course. This isn’t me throwing shade—it’s me asking for a reality check, from one passionate fan to another.

And just so we’re clear—this isn’t me throwing shade because I ship Elrondriel (Elrond/Galadriel). Trust me, I know my ship isn’t the entire audience either. Elrondriel shippers are a passionate, creative, and dedicated part of the fandom, but we’re also just one piece of the puzzle, just like Haladriels are. Believe me, we’re in the same fandom boat here—just sailing with different banners.

I understand the urge to feel like your ship carries the weight of the fandom. When you’re surrounded by incredible art, fic, metas, and headcanons that fuel your love for a pairing, it’s easy to think, "We’re the backbone of this fandom!" But the truth? We’re all in this together, and none of us—not Haladriels, not Elrondriels, not any ship—can claim to be the be-all and end-all of The Rings of Power audience.

We might feel strongly about our pairings, but the reality is that shipping communities are just one part of the much larger audience Amazon considers when making decisions. There are fans who aren’t on Tumblr, Twitter, or AO3, fans who aren’t debating ships, and fans who might not even care about romance in the show at all (I know, wild concept, but they exist!). They’re here for the epic battles, the exploration of Middle-earth, and the overarching story.

So, no, this isn’t a case of “my ship is better” or “your ship doesn’t matter.” It’s about perspective. I care about fandom health and fandom spaces, no matter the ship. I’m here advocating for all of us to recognize that we’re not the sole audience Amazon is catering to—and that’s okay. We’re all contributing to the fandom in different ways, and that’s something worth celebrating.

So to Haladriels feeling like the show’s fate rests on your shoulders, let me reassure you, that you have to produce and produce and produce: it doesn’t.

The show’s survival isn’t riding on Elrondriel either, nor on any single faction of fans.

We’re all part of the audience, but none of us are the entire audience.

The fellowship of fans is vast and diverse, and while we might be rowing in different directions sometimes, we’re still in the same boat when it comes to loving this world and wanting the best for it.

We might not ship the same thing, but we share the same love for this story and the passion to see it thrive. So let’s focus on that instead of spiraling into ship-centric fearmongering. Let’s celebrate what we love, stay creative, and keep contributing to this incredible fandom in ways that uplift us all.

3. Bezos isn’t walking away. The Rings of Power is Jeff Bezos’s lovechild. He and his family are reportedly huge fans of the Tolkien franchise. Love him or hate him, Bezos is not the kind of person to let a project this massive—one of the most expensive shows ever made—flounder without giving it every possible chance to succeed. The man is prideful, and he’s not just going to bow out because of mixed reception in its first season or something. If anything, he’ll double down, exert even more control, and pump the breaks on creative risks to bring the show in line with mainstream expectations.

You can even check this right here, which is from a trusted source:

You can also see this article and passage here:

As part of that investment Amazon MGM Studios recently acquired Bray Studios, where “Rings of Power” is filmed. Can we take that as indication that the show, which shot its first season in New Zealand, is staying in the U.K.?

JS: I think you can. Why not? No plans to move it. Very excited about it.

How have you found the reaction to Season 2?

JS: Obviously very different marketing levels and all of that [to Season 1]. But that being said, over 55 million people at this point have engaged since Season 2 launched. And if you look at the long-term trajectory, which is how this company looks at an asset like that, this is a long-term investment in that franchise. […] There’s well over 150 million viewers watching and engaging with the show. So I feel really good. I think we all do.

Is there any change to the 50-episode commitment?

JS: I don’t think so. [That] commitment is never the thing that’s driving what we’re doing. We’ll continue to make the show as long as we see global customers loving it and watching it to the point where — it is a business. Obviously, we need a large amount of people showing up. And there are a large amount of people, so there’s no debate about whether or not the show will continue.

4. "Cancelled" doesn’t mean what people think it does. Even if Amazon is “mulling over” decisions for Season 3, this doesn’t mean the show is on the chopping block. It’s standard practice for large-scale productions to reassess budgets, strategies, and audience reception to refine their approach. It doesn’t spell doom; it spells adjustments. Given the scope of The Rings of Power, Amazon likely planned for this to be a long-term investment and would have accounted for a slower start. Building trust and an audience takes time—just ask any successful franchise.

5. Let’s calm the Fellowship down. Worrying about every rumor floating around is exhausting. It’s like trying to outrun a Nazgûl while barefoot in Mordor. We don’t need that energy in our fandom right now. Yes, we can be critical of the show. Yes, we can hope for improvements. But the speculation about the series getting canned before Season 3 even airs is unnecessary noise that only feeds negativity and add worries to already existing conflicts.

TL;DR:

I’m not here to sound like your mom or anything—but if it helps, think of me as your friendly neighborhood Gandalf (minus the fireworks but with plenty of snacks). I’m just here to calm things down before we all start marching out of Hobbiton over a rumor that has absolutely no solid ground to stand on. This whole situation is snowballing—and let’s be honest, it’s not even winter yet.

This post that everyone’s spiraling over? The one about surveys and cancellation questions? It comes with exactly zero proof.

No screenshots, no corroboration, nothing to confirm it’s legit beyond someone’s words on the internet.

I’m not saying it’s impossible, but without evidence, it’s like claiming to have the One Ring but refusing to show even a glimpse of it. Sounds a little sus, right?

Look, I get it. The wording is scary. “How would you feel about cancellation?” is enough to make anyone who loves the show clutch their lembas in fear. But panicking and spreading unverified claims like wildfire isn’t helping anyone. It’s like rallying the Rohirrim before you even know what you’re riding to face—take a breath, assess, and then make decisions.

Until we hear something concrete, let’s not let this post stir the pot unnecessarily. The show is far too big to just disappear overnight, and Bezos’s pride alone will probably ensure we at least get to see this through. Let’s focus on enjoying what we have, continuing to provide feedback where we can, and sharing the love of this sprawling, beautiful world Tolkien inspired.

It’s a single claim from an unverified source with no screenshots, no corroboration, and no concrete evidence. Until we see something legitimate, this is just another shadow in the Misty Mountains of Fandom Panic™.

With everything I’ve mentioned—the insane budget, Bezos’s personal attachment, and the fact that Amazon has already made long-term commitments to the show—there’s little reason to think it’s on the chopping block. Is it possible they’re retooling it or adjusting things? Sure, that happens with every major series. But outright canceling the biggest, most ambitious project in their streaming history? That’s a huge leap, and frankly, it doesn’t line up with what we know about how Amazon operates (or how Bezos’s ego works).

So let’s not get sucked into the Eye of Sauron-level drama without solid proof.

I get that the idea of the show being in jeopardy is unsettling—Rings of Power means a lot to so many of us for so many different reasons. But until there’s something concrete, let’s not fall prey to baseless fear. Hold fast, steer your boats true, and don’t let panic steer you off course. Keep your lembas close, your theories reasonable, and your hearts hopeful. After all, not all rumors that spread doom are gold.

Bezos and his family love this series. The man isn’t going to let his shiny billion-dollar baby get canceled quietly.

Let’s channel some hobbit energy—grab a snack, take a deep breath, and wait for actual confirmation before we assume doom and gloom. We’ve weathered plenty of storms in this fandom, and this? This is just a passing cloud until we know otherwise. Stay calm, my friends. Middle-earth wasn’t built in a day, and neither are Amazon’s decisions. 🌿

[lains-reality]

nondualism and "manifestation"

okay so there was an anon question abt manifesting. i'll answer with this post. i barely proof read this so tell me if theres an error. if you need more (you don't) then there are relevent links at the end.

anon: Ima here with a question :) Suppose I'm manifesting my desired clothes , so I just be aware/know that I already have them in my closet ? And Whenever I think that nope it's not true they aren't there …I JUST USE MY IMAGINATION, SEE A PICTURE OF THOSE CLOTHES AND AGAIN BECOME AWARE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE THEM ? Basically when I found myself thinking about them I just shift my awareness to that I have them ! is this all I have to do ? And what if I feel euphoric 🤧 knowing that I already those clothes in my closet ? Is it oky ig it should be bc feeling has nothing to do with it !? RIGHT ?

I'll ask these questions first: do you want the desire or to be free? could you let go of trying to get happiness from this item and sit in the happiness you are?

you don't use your imagination. you ARE imagination. you're living in your imagination.

you don't have to identify with those thoughts telling you, you don't have the clothes

you've asked this question to another blogger, so you're spamming, searching for an answer? not gonna get you anywhere .. also have u even read my posts?

are you the person that sent this? nondualism IS NOT A METHOD

first of all, i want to you to remove every information, believing that it's real, your brain, spiraling, wavering, blockages, the universe giving you what you want, someone outside of you, the 3d, the 4d, behind the scenes, the 3d mirroring you, saturating your brain, etc ... [choroukgod]

there's no manifesting.

you are not the manifestor. you are not the doer. i mean it as the character, anon, doesn't do anything. Self does. Self can also be called awareness or consciousness. for Self, all exists. its like a comb, there's the handle and then all the teeth. Self is the handle, you anon, are one of the teeth. you are Self imagining being a human with desires.

i'll give you a snippet of a draft post i made:

"they wanted to be the doer. the character doesn't do. it's not You, it's just a habit. when you know you are Self, then everything is harmonious and effortless. the Self does, it is under all the imaginary character - if the character isn't real, then it doesn't do, the Self does."

since you are Self, this means you are beyond time and space, body and mind. they're not real. only the character/mind thinks its real, it'll chat forever about how you need to do this and that.

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it's a collection of thoughts, feelings and memories that you've collected and turned into a habit. it's a habit to go back to the memories as a reference point. its a habit to identify with thoughts that come into your awareness. when you stop the habit and don't identify as the character, it goes away.

abt the body: well when you dream, you might still think. you feel the body and all, all the sensations. it feels real enough. then you wake up. you didn't take the physical body into the dream did you? you just felt the sensation of having one. doesn't this mean it's a bunch of sensations, just like a thought in the mind is?

also the mind can affect the body (e.g. nervous feeling -> sweaty palms). the thought or feeling rising into awareness, the mind takes note and ownership "i'm nervous, my hands are sweaty", affecting the body. if the unreal mind can affect something, then is that thing also not unreal?

(try to observe the thoughts or feelings next time without attaching a story to it or resisting it. see whether it goes away quicker. being able to accept the present moment is essential for this)

extra note - you as Self is also imagining the concepts of manifesting and shifting (and all the concepts related e.g. states, 3d, persisting etc).

thinking they the reason why you can get what you want IS FALSE. THOSE ARE YOUR OWN CREATIONS, ARE YOU GOING TO CREATE SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR OWN CREATIONS? [choroukgod]

What is there to be saved from except illusions? And what are all illusions except false ideas about myself? My holiness undoes them all by asserting the truth about me. - acim workbook

so, you know now the reality of who you are and not to identify with the imaginary, lets talk about the desire.

desires are born out of not knowing who you are. if you think you're the body-mind then several hundred concepts are needed to be taken into account to just live.

another snippet

"all these memories, feelings, thoughts and subsequent stories create desires and fears. the mind will try and protect itself and plan for stuff, but it can't. because it's so limited in knowledge & power."

the character wants the desire because of the story it has, the feeling. usually of happiness, love, joy. what you don't know is that that's your standard way of being. so you search everywhere.

the characters main motivation is to find the truth and happiness, underneath the searching is the belief 'i am not okay' or 'i am not enough', which leads to several needs & fears but importantly, need of control, especially of the future. it refuses to sit in the present moment.

desire is completely fine actually, its the attachments to it that make it hurtful. when you don't understand that desire is just another passing sensation, you, as the character, think you NEED it and will not stop until you get it, or you suffer.

you think that theres a world to control. you think that its outside of you. you think that there is a physical world. you're missing the most important info of all: all is Self. all is consciousness. all is awareness. whatever you wanna say. all is you, theres nothing to manipulate now. theres nothing to force now. its all unreal. you as Self, are imagining to be a human with desires that now has to change stuff that they think is real! how exhusting! you don't even need to change yourSelf, Self is perfect!

there's nothing to do.

Self is all. Self is whole. Self is perfect. Self is who you actually are.

there's no transition to Self. you already are that. it's letting go of all the concepts of limitations that is a transition. - i don't remember who said this, maybe lester levenson?

manifesting is not the point. the point is to be free! it's to recognise your true self! not just to feel better or okay .. to BE freedom, to BE peace, love etc. do you want to keep going into imagination to fufilll yourself all the time? you don't have to if you understand that you are fulfillment, you are whole already.

the "world" changing can't sway you because you are complete as you are, when you manifest with the intention to fulfil the desire so you 'physically' get it - you're only gonna feel full when you get the thing .. and then it goes. things cannot fulfil you. what would happen if the clothes get shredded by a dog? your happiness goes. why? why would you place your happiness on a thing that is FINITE?

being in the present moment is best. its literally the only way you live. you can't see into the past or future, there is only now.

The best place to grow is right where you are. The best time is now.

when you're worrying abt the future, you're thinking more. when you're worrying abt the past, more thoughts. in the present moment, you slow down and see what is in front of you now.

when you get caught up in the mind, you can stop yourself halfway (or even after it happens) and go "oh the mind was doing ...", then you start to pick up how much your mind wanders back or forwards. you start to pick up how limiting the thoughts are when you remind yourself that you are not the body or mind. with the understanding that the mind is imaginary -> no need to listen or identify with what's happening. it just is. feelings or emotions that come up into awareness cannot do anything. you are never disconnected from Self.

'oh i want to go [x] but i have to buy a plane ticket and get this and that...' -> if you are not the body-mind you don't have to worry about physically travelling anywhere, you are beyond time and space naturally. you don't have to prepare anything either, the mind wants to plan, but Self is harmonious and all, so whatever you 'need' will come to you. lester actually did this once.

"With full confidence that “everything is A-okay and taken care of,” I packed a bag and walked out of the house."

when you catch yourself in the moment: release and disidentify. you can just disidentify with it immediatly if you want to.

to release a belief or emotion (probs also desires) (sedona method):

welcome the feeling.  it doesn’t have to be strong. it is what it is. ask yourself: Could I let it go? Would I let it go? When? then, remembering that you are not the body-mind, answer. deep breath in and out, let relief come if you feel it. read the link for more.

when you ask yourself, “Could I let this feeling go?”,  remind yourself that you can let any emotion go, like dropping an object. when you ask yourself, “Would you let the feeling go?”, consider whether you would you rather hold on to pain, stress, and suffering, or, would you rather be free? when you ask yourself, “When?”, what you’re doing is creating an invitation to do it now

it can take some courage depending on the emotion, the character'll want to run away. but sit in the present moment and observe the feelings. ignoring and suppresing is not healthy. the focus is to keep releasing the feeling when it comes up. you can also coax the feelings up yourself.

to disidentify: well, just don't identify with it. just go "oh that's a thought". maybe remember your Self. maybe say 'on this path i constantly give up trouble' and move on. a simple knowing that that is not You, is enough.

surrender. i used to be scared of surrender bcs i thought it'd mean i have to let go of control and i'd get nothing! or just the same thing or worse! i was scared, i as the character was in full force. then some days past and i calm down (and lowkey give up), then i get some experience where it feels like i'm saying 'yes you ARE your true Self, its natural!!' to myself. something happens w/ 0 effort and i'm never suprised tbh (i used to be), it only grows my faith in mySelf. i promise you when you go 'f it idk whats gonna happen, it'll be fine' it'll be okay. but first you need to understand who you are. you trust your Self and just release the stories that tell you you aren't, that you are stuck, that you haven't got it, that you aren't fulfilled etc.

let me rephrase that bcs ppl saying "just believe!" used to piss me off: surrender it all. just stop. on this path you constantly give up trouble. you give up entertaining thoughts that make you feel bad. stop getting annoyed at yourself. stop beating yourself up. stop trying. just let yourself relax. if you want to do something, do it so you can feel better rather than to fix, manipulate, control etc.

all this arguing takes effort. it takes energy to not surrender. its hard to be something you are not. all the effort is being put into being an ego or to resist being it. you're squashing god into a small box and going 'why won't i fit?!' - lester levenson (modified)

Self is perfection, you are not surrendering to get worse, you are surrendering to perfection. Absolute Perfection. your mind only knows like 20 years (less or more!) of experience, in only one way of being. to your Self, there is all.

if theres anything to "do" its recognising stories of limitation and releasing/disidentifying as them.

(although surrendering is put last here. it is actually the first step. it might even be the only step)

self inquiry pointers (do not skip)

could i let go of wanting to get happiness from [insert item] and allow myself to rest as the happiness i am? can i turn [desire] into a desire for freedom? would i rather have the desire or would i rather be free? am i longing for the desire or to get out of pain? can i let go of wanting to change this and let it be as it is? could i let go of [belief]? would i rather believe in [the belief] or know the truth? would i rather believe in [the belief] or be the truth? am i arguing for my limitations?

more

letting go of ego | haven't read yet, but the skim looked good.

detachment | edwardart

what is the main difference between the now and old? | nisargadatta

go all the way, not just tolerate and endure | lester levenson

the true you | 4dbarbie

self surrender | edwardart

things come to die | heavenlythea (use of the word 3d, but still great post)

manifesting is struggling, life is effortless | 4dbarbie

how did i get something random? | 4dbarbie

attachments | 4dbarbie

some pics to read

after thoughts

i talk abt a method after my you don't need a method post lol, but that method is actually completely for the mind, says it upront and isn't just used for manifesting. in the end you'll stop using this too

could this be a guide to recognising your greatness? maybe?

let go of the insane amounts of responsibility, pressure, and personal attachment you've put on yourself.

[shysublimecoffee]

Marinette receiving the Ladybug mantle was an absolute mistake. I watched the special, and honestly, gurl is doing the most—and for what? A guy? One dude, and she’s ready to throw her common sense out the window. Like, how has Hawkmoth/Gabriel not used his own son more often as leverage against her by now? That’s villainy 101, and he’s just sitting on it. Like for the amount of times I've seen this show rag on ChatNoir because of his weakness in romance when that Ladybug biggest weakness not CN lol.

At this point, I don’t even care about what Marinette’s going through. Whatever emotional investment I had in her? Long gone. She’s out here spinning lies on top of lies, desperately trying to hold together her crumbling Adrien-obsessed empire, and for what? She lost. Game over.

Now, if this were a story about a girl slowly getting corrupted, spiraling into villainy, and intentionally written as a downfall arc? No problem. That would’ve been a compelling narrative with a real lesson for kids about the consequences of obsession and dishonesty. But nope, instead we’re stuck with this mess where her choices make it harder and harder to root for her.

Marinette's speech at the press conference—“Ladybug holds the truth, she holds the truth” —had me scratching my head cause it sound more like a villain then a hero. Like, did the writers forget she’s supposed to have hero-like qualities? She’s meant to be the messenger, the symbol of hope, the hero. But how often does she actually display that in her own show?

Lately, it feels like being Ladybug is more of an obligatory chore for her than something that brings her real joy or fulfillment. Isn’t the whole point of magical girls to inspire, to help others, and to grow through their journey? Where’s the sense of accomplishment, the spark, the joy of making a difference? It’s like they’ve stripped her of everything that should make her role uplifting and meaningful.

I've seen here and there about how MC was never meant to come off that way or the writers are trying to make her more complex or how dare you do you dislike complex female characters or the most used it was never her intention to come off that way it was a mistake.

I want you to picture this without the music just dialogue cause i'm going to be clearcut about this.

Ladybug went to an orphaned, grieving child—one who had been locked away in solitary confinement, surrounded by nothing but white walls and being sensory deprived—and lied to him about his father being a hero. Let that sink in. Gabriel, who systematically abused his own son, was painted as a noble martyr by Ladybug.

Adrien, a kid who was finally starting to question his father’s authority, even beginning to tear down the oppressive image of the man who controlled and hurt him, is now trapped in an even tighter mental cage. After all, if Paris sees his father as a hero, a savior, how could he possibly feel justified in blaming or resenting the man? Gabriel is now a martyr in the eyes of the world, and Adrien is left to wrestle with guilt and shame for ever having cruel thoughts about someone everyone else idolizes.

Ladybug’s decision to perpetuate this lie doesn’t just protect Gabriel’s image—it messes with Adrien’s already fragile mind. Instead of helping him heal or giving him the freedom to process the truth, she’s reinforced the very chains Gabriel used to control him. It’s not heroic; it’s delusional and harmful, all in the name of preserving some twisted version of peace in her head.

You want me to feel pity for a girl who I'm sorry if I sound harsh to yall at the end of the day just want to keep the peace to fill her delusions that everything is going to work out in her part at the end when really she's just the worst type of coward there is when it comes to confrontations lmao. Accountability? She avoids them like they’re some kind of plague. It’s almost impressive how someone can masquerade as a hero while being utterly incapable of facing the hard truths. Lmao, sure, let’s all pity her.

Honestly, in the earlier seasons, at least Marinette seemed to feel bad about her mistakes. Now? She’s only gotten worse. I headcanon that receiving the Ladybug mantle or becoming the Guardian inflated her ego, giving her a power trip. With no proper mentor to hold her accountable and everyone automatically deferring to her leadership, who’s left to challenge her? Well maybe CN if he has the guts to do so but he'd rather cower into his shell lol.

In hindsight, I don’t think Marinette should’ve become Ladybug—not because she lacks the capability, but because the role itself seems to have worsened her as a person. Instead of growing into the hero I though she was meant to be, she’s devolved, losing some of the humility and self-awareness she had at the start of the series.

Let’s be real—we’re in Season 6 now, and we all know the writers aren’t going to make Marinette face any real consequences. The whole universe bends over backward to accommodate her. If you’ve seen Season 5, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

That said, I’ll give credit where it’s due: the special was fun. Yes, despite all my ranting, I actually enjoyed it because it was funny in its own way.

At this point, though, I’m only sticking around for Adrien and Lila. Honestly? I’m rooting for Lila to be the one to drop the truth bomb and expose everything. It would be chef’s kiss poetic if she ended up being the one to set things straight. Lmao.

P.s For anyone who thinks there is a dilemma to be had about the whole thing its really not lol rip the bandaid off.

It reeks of a megalomaniac in the making, making her come off like a gaslighting psychopath. Ironically, it reminds me of Gabriel—especially with the way he used similar wording. Honestly, are we sure Marinette isn’t Gabriel’s true daughter? Because the parallels are man.

I’m genuinely angry that she is the one everyone feels sorry for, and it’s only because the show is stuck in her perspective. If we spent even a fraction of the screen time on Adrien’s pain, it would make for a far more compelling story. It’s infuriating. Marinette isn’t some helpless sheep/damsel victim here—no one forced her into this role at gunpoint. She made her choices, knowingly and willingly. How dare she act like the weight of the world was thrust upon her without her consent? When she very much messed with a grieving kid here?

And yet, Adrien’s pain—real, tangible, and far more tragic—is constantly sidelined. He’s an orphan, being lied to by nearly everyone around him, adults and teens alike, and his suffering is treated as a subplot to Marinette’s endless drama. Why should the audience feel more for her than for the boy who’s lost everything? Why is his pain has to be centered to her??

This isn't a small mistake this has far reaching consequences if the show had the balls to do it to lie to the entire world over a man who terrorized on people fear.

If Adrien ever became a villain, I wouldn’t blame him. In fact, I’d understand and give him the free ticket to go ahead and cataclysm and burned the world .

[anurst]

What He Likes

Summary: Natasha makes an observation about the girls that Jake hits on, and you jump to conclusions about his type. Let's just say you make the irrational decision to cut your hair after.

A/N: sorry this isn't a Girl Bradshaw update :( ik a lot of people have been waiting for an update. I've been lowkey spiraling but I'm feeling better now! college has been stressing me tf out but I'm starting to take better care of myself! if you haven't noticed there's a tip option now so if you want maybe tip? i don't wanna pressure anyone at all!! i figured that maybe I could get paid while writing since it's something that I love to do ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ anyway enjoy! this has been sitting in my drafts for a while

Pairing(s): Jake Seresin x (fem) reader

Warning(s): mentions of alcohol, language, inaccurate military cause I said so, reader is described with long hair

"Have you ever noticed how Hangman only goes after girls with short hair?" Natasha says beside you, and you stop mid-sip. Your eyes shift from Bradley and Bob's pool game towards Jake and a short-haired brunette.

They're both standing near the bar, and the woman gives Jake a bright smile as she laughs at something he says. The moment her hand brushes against his arm, jealousy fills you. It wasn't a secret between you and Natasha that you had a crush on Jake. Being the only woman in the dagger squad meant that the two of you spent a lot of time together.

"Nope," you respond to her, and a finger wraps itself in a strand of your hair. It's an understatement to say you have long hair. After seeing Rapunzel as a little girl, you committed to having long hair like her. It's been your pride and joy since you were young, the reason many girls have showered you in compliments about how long and luscious it is. But now, looking at Jake and the short-haired girl heading towards the door of the Hard Deck, you curse your decision to keep your hair so long.

"Hey, Princess!" Mickey calls out, and you turn to look at him. "You up for some pool?" You force a smile and stand from your seat beside Natasha.

"Only if you're up for losing again."

'Oh God, this was a terrible idea,' you think as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Your fingers run through your shoulder-length hair, and you groan. The memories from last night are a little hazy as you try to think about how you ended up in this situation.

After having one too many drinks, Bradley gave you a ride home, and you ended up in your bathroom with a pair of scissors. Natasha's words from hours earlier seemed to echo in your head as you frowned. "If Jake likes girls with short hair, I can be a girl with short hair," you mumbled as you cut inches of your hair off. Hair strands fell to the ground as you measured the ends with your fingers. Looking into the mirror, you smiled at your new hair, and a yawn slipped out of your lips as you looked down at your phone resting on the sink. "I really gotta sleep."

'This is so so so so so very bad' You squint at the uneven portions of your hair and grimace as you try to fix them. The sound of your phone ringing draws your attention away from your hair. Running out the bathroom and into your room, you answer the phone to hear Natasha's voice.

"Hey! I'm outside! Oh, and I got you an iced coffee and bagel for breakfast."

"Nat..."

"Yeah?"

"I really need your help right now..."

"What'd you do now?"

"Holy shit," Bradley gawks at you, and you groan as you cover your face with your hands. Natasha glares from beside you before she hits Bradley in the stomach. The brunette groans as he doubles over slightly before forcing a smile onto his face. "It's not that bad," he tries to reassure you.

Momentarily, you look up at him. With one glimpse of his, you already know he's lying, and you try to muffle a cry. "Idiot!" Natasha seethes as she rubs your back. Bradley raises his hands in mock surrender.

"Sorry!"

"(y/n), it's really not that bad."

"Yeah! It's just, uh, different. You still look beautiful," Bradley says as he smiles at you. Your eyes shift between his face and Natasha's before you give them a weak nod.

"We should get going," you say with a deep breath as you puff your chest out in fake confidence. Fake it until you make it, you know? You'd try to act confident with your new hair, even if you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and hide. Natasha and Bradley let you lead the way towards the classroom.

Eyes are all you feel as you walk into the classroom and sit beside Javy. You try to shy away from his gaze by placing your chin into your palm, but eventually, you turn to him with your eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"Your hair..."

"I wanted to try something new," you mumble before burying your head into your arms. Maybe you should have called in sick. That'd be better than feeling like everyone's staring at you.

"Princess?" Jake's voice calls from behind you, and your head whips up and around to look at Jake. His usual cocky look is replaced with a dropped jaw and wide eyes. "You...your hair...you..."

You can't help but giggle at his words, "Yeah, I cut it last night when I was a little drunk. Kinda a bad decision," you say, your hand nervously tucking a strand behind your ear. Jake doesn't reply, his jaw still dropped and staring straight at you. Self-conscious, you huff. "If you don't like it, then just say it. I can take it."

"No! I just- uh- well-"

"Okay, let's get started," Pete says as he walks in. "Hangman, quit your drooling and sit down. You can stare at Princess some other time."

"You know, I like you more with the short hair!" Mickey says while handing you a beer. You snort and toast your beers before cheering on Bradley and Bob as they take on Javy and Reuben in pool.

A cough from behind you makes you turn around. Jake is standing there, his cheeks flushed red, and embarrassment is clear on his face. "I wanted to say that I like it— your hair."

Nodding, you lick your lips. "Sorry if I was a little mean in the morning. I just was trying to get used to it."

Jake chuckles and dismisses your apologies. "It definitely will take some time to get used to."

"I thought you'd be thrilled about it."

"Huh?" Confusion spreads all over Jake's face. Seeing him confused, you all raise a brow.

"I mean, you like girls with short hair, right? I figured you'd like my new hair, too."

"Who told you that?"

As you remember the conversation between you and Natasha, your cheeks flush. "Well, no one told me that. I just, like, kinda assumed."

"Assumed?"

"Yeah, I mean, all the girls you take home all have short hair, so I just thought you were into those kinda girls, ya know?"

"So, you've been watching me?" Jake grins, and you realize what your words have implied.

"What?! No! I just—" You're cut off when Jake starts laughing. Groaning, you put your beer down and cover your face. Jake's laughter slowly dies as he reaches for your hands to pull them away from your face.

"For the record, darlin'. I'm into you."

"Huh?"

Jake chuckles before smiling, "I'm not into girls with short hair. I'm into you," his face then looks a little embarrassed, "I thought you were so out of my league that I went after girls that didn't look like you. 'Sides, I never really took any of them back to my place."

A smile starts to grow on your face as you giggle. "You're into me? No jokes?"

"No jokes, darlin'." Without another second passing, you rush forward and press your lips to Jake's, his eagerly molding with yours. Fireworks go off in your belly as Jake's fingers brush against your short strands of hair. You both pull away, and Jake frowns.

"Can you grow your hair back out? You're always beautiful, but the Rapunzel hair was just so you."

[cheesus-doodles]

How do Izana deal with a darling with wrecked sleeping schedules but he couldn't really do much since darling is studying at university and lives in the uni dorm.

(definitely not projecting and sending this ask at 7am cuz I didn't sleep loll)

Masterlist

okay i can answer this one because a wrecked sleeping schedule is bascially my life story (night owl here working a day job :'D) sorry y'all, been in a bit of a spiral in the earlier half of this week, but I'm back to huffing the copium now

‎‎‎‎

Izana himself probably has somewhat of a wrecked sleeping schedule - which is no surprise, given how he is, after all, a delinquent and most gang activities occur in the cover of night. And on top of that, he does have tons of paper work and other normal business things to get through during the day, decisions to make and approvals to sign off on. Running a criminal organization isn't easy, and by the time you are in university, he is already well on his way to conquering the Tokyo underground.

Despite this, you can be sure that this boy makes sure to get all the sleep he needs, even if it means just skipping gang/work duties. Who's going to dare to wake him anyway? And he will not be the slightest bit happy to find you neglecting your sleep over some class work or something insignificant like that. To Izana, you didn't even have to put yourself through all this torture and nonsense. Why did you need to go to university? He had more than enough to provide for you, anything that your little heart desires, since you were going to be his forever - there was no need for you to study because you were never going to have to work. Well, never going to have to, and never going to get to, but same difference.

Izzy will absolutely make sure that you get whatever sleep you need, which is by forcibly pulling you to sleep when it's his bedtime. Even if it means bodily lifting you from the table, confiscating your phone and forcing you to snuggle with him in bed, doesn't matter - he wants cuddle and you need sleep (according to this baby boy at least). And you were going to stay in bed until he thinks you have had enough sleep. He couldn't care more that you were missing classes, exams, projects; nope. You failing out of your classes would be a win for him - you could stop wasting your time on your papers and start focusing on your attention on him, the most important person in your life, instead.

Think staying in a university dorm would stop him? Nice try. Nothing is out of bounds for Izzy to use for him to gain unlimited access into your room: bribery, violence, planting moles in the university - you don't get to hide from him. And if no matter what he does can't get him in, then you don't get to stay there. Would send Kakucho to burn the whole university down himself if he needs to, so don't try him.

Speaking of Kakucho, of course Izana would have his right-hand man and trusted friend stalking and monitoring you on his behalf whenever Izana is too busy to do so himself. Is it the best use of someone of Kakucho's talent? Probably not, but Izana would trust no one else. And if he suspects in the slightest that you weren't sleeping enough when he isn't watching? Guess who gets to sit outside your window and time your sleep. Kakucho.

So just go to sleep and don't make his life more difficult, okay?

[empressgeekt]

Trolls - Accidental Knight and the Time Travel Bodyswap

okay I'm on moble. So apologies in advance.

I recently found a fic on Ao3 about brozone swapping bodies with their younger-selves (specifically during the split up fight) with what I'm guessing is their post TBT selves. I link it when I have the time.

Here's my taken on this awesome concept. In the Field of Forgetmenots AU! Highly recommend looking at the posts for this au before reading on ward. You have been warned.

The plot starts with Floyd's POV. He's in the background of his brothers fighting after Branch's first show. Part of him wants to intervene but at this point he knows it will do nothing. He sees little Bitty standing off the side looking terrified, as he walks over to comfort the young trolling, his vision twists and blacks out. He comes too with a dirt ceiling overhead, with a numb body. He thinks he's been drugged by a crazed fan then kidnapped, and tries to get off the bed he's on only to fall to the floor when his limbs begin to burn with pain. He's found by a green trolling with blue hair and eyes, and he struggles on floor finally seeing the paleness of his limbs and paralyses he feels. A scarred dulled troll comes in. It takes a moment of his fussing for Floyd to realize that he's staring at his grown up baby brother. His grown up baby brother who lifts him with ease and sets him on the bed while checking over his body.

Branch was worried when Keith came running in saying that Floyd fell. The Knight had taken in his older brother (plus Clay) to help Floyd recover from the damage the diamond bottle did to him. Its been a few months and sadly Floyd is still weak and adjusting to the after effects. He can't walk, unable to keep himself warm, and has flare ups when his body re-crystalizes, that for all they know could be fatal. Not to mention, all the psychological damage the kidnapping did, and Floyd insisting that he's fine when he's really not. Needless to say, when Keith comes to tell Branch that Floyd is on the floor panicking, he reacts with urgency. The knight drops what he's doing (making breakfast), and rushes to tend to his brother he runs through all the checks, Flare up? Nope. Nightmare? Doesn't seem like it. He doesn't feel any injuries. However, Branch is extremely concerned when Floyd starts talking like he's confused about the date and how big Branch got. He makes a plan to take Floyd to the hospital to get checked out.

Let's switch gears over to Clay. He's first in heated fight with John and Spruce when his world becomes fuzzy and suddenly he's waking up with his face on top of a work desk. He jerks up, finding himself in an office. A boring office. A troll walks in, calls him "Mr. Clay" says their his assistant and ask if he's okay before telling him about Branch taking Floyd to to hospital so he might need to pick up Keith from school that day, then they leave. Clay is left with many many questions, but it's okay on top of sad books he's read many mystery novels he's fully prepared to handle this. If this was his office it had to have a calendar. He is not pleased to find the date is over twenty years passed what it was a few minutes ago. Then everything that the assistant mentioned settled. Floyd was in the hospital?! Branch had to take him? Branch could take him? And who the heck was Keith?! Why was Clay picking him up from school?! During this spiral, Who of all trolls walks in but Princess Viva (or Captain Viva as he would later learn she was called). Clay asks why she's here, and he learns that Viva heard about Floyd and thought to check in on her Boyfriend. That was not the answer Clay was expecting.

Flipping back to Floyd. Hospitals already freak him out, and now he apparently had a chronic condition, that doctors still weren't sure how it works. Even worse he can see how worried Branch is over this. As such he just doesn't mention the Time travel/amnesia thing going on. Last thing he needs is to stress it baby brother out, especially since it's obvious that Branch had been taking care of Floyd since the diagnoses that he can't remember. On top of taking care of a kid no doubt. Even if Floyd isn't sure how Keith is related to them (He doesn't call Branch dad or Floyd uncle, and doing the math it would mean that Branch would have to have had Keith while he was a teenager), it's clear that Branch is raising that kid. Branch's girlfriend (doesn't that just bring many colorful images to mind) meets them at the hospital. She takes over, calming Branch down easily, and talking to the doctors, who much too everyone's relief nothing physical has changed since Floyd's last appointment. Branch has to leave for work after that, but Poppy takes Floyd back to the hideout he suddenly lives in.

Clay is left reeling, through out the day he's trying to learn all about this modern day. He'd completely forgotten about needing to collect a trolling from the school until his assistant mentions it. He runs out of the admin building looking for the school. It took a nearly twenty minutes to figure out where the school was, and by the time he arrived the teachers were getting ready to look for either him or Branch. He apologize profusely, but thankfully the head teacher assumes his questionable behavior was due to Floyd being hospitalized. Then Clay is saddled with Keith, a little Green and blue trolling that the teacher calls his brother. Clay doesn't really know where Keith came from (he thought his parents were dead), but doesn't question it out loud. He's been a big brother before he can totally take this kid home...if he knew where his new home was. No one was living with grandma now, clearly. Thankfully, Keith knows the way. Clay tries to make conversation, but Keith only really either stares blankly or looked slightly confused. Geez, didn't that make Clay feel good about his relationship with this new youngest brother. Did he ever spend time with this kid?

They arrive at the bunker, finding Poppy and Floyd inside. Keith lights up as Poppy running over and beginning to tell her about his day. Clay however, doesn't pay much attention to this red-headed version of Viva, rather he hones in on his younger brother who's in a wheelchair and looks on the brink of death. Clay demands to know what happened, while Floyd tries to deflect saying weird dream. Clay knows he's lying right away. Thankfully Poppy has pulled Keith into the kitchen to start on dinner and homework. Clay comes clean about not remembering any of the passed 20 years, Floyd breaths a sigh of relief know that it isn't his sickness that caused the memory loss.

Clay: Do you know the kind of day I had? I'm a CPA! twenty years down the line and I'm a CPA, John would hate that! It's a boring job. But I love it. and I'm dating the crown princess apparently.

Floyd: You thought your day was weird? I can't walk Clay. I've been questioning my own sanity since i woke up. Because I have a TBI and could lose my mind any second.

Clay: TBI? How'd you get a TBI?

Floyd: I don't remember. Poppy and Branch have been tip-toeing around me having some sort of accident. But they won't tell me what. and I'm scared to ask because it would make me look crazy!

Branch would come home at that point. They both are surprised by the Forest Guardian Armor, and Clay even more freaked out seeing the scars, muted colors, and blinded eye that Branch was sporting now. Keith is over joyed and greets Branch warmly. It's obvious these two are close in ways that this grown up Branch isn't with his older brothers. Dinner is served but it doesn't comfort the elder two brothers.

Why don't we check in on Vacay Island for a second. Spruce one moment was fighting with john and the next wakes up one morning next to a Giant yellow woman, who claims to be his wife. Brandy immediately figures out her husband doesn't remember the last twenty years. She explains everything to him using family photos to prove everything. Spruce is lost in confusion, as he listens he had no choice but to believe her, he certainly wasn't in his teenaged body anymore. It hurts to learn that the last night he remembered was the night his family broke apart, and only after 20 years was his brothers comfortable enough to reconnect. Then Brandy mentions that Floyd was kidnapped....suddenly Spruce, or Bruce as Brandy tells him he goes by, needs to see his little brothers. Make sure that their all okay. Brandy agrees and he wonders how on earth his heartthrobness managed to charm his goddess among mortals.

And finally let's get to the eldest. John was in his grandmother's pod, terrified and angry, then he was waking up in a transportation critter in the woods. In the mirror his older self stares back, and he's scared all over again. Time has passed but he doesn't know why or how. Thankfully he finds the journals his older self kept. He spends the day learning what had happened over the passed 20 years. He breakdown when he reads the entry talking about the empty destroyed tree. Only to relax when he reads about the reunion and freeing Floyd.

Rhonda has been watching all of this and sneses something wrong with her owner, against his will she drives strait to troll village.

Once both him and Bruce arrive at the same time and end up explaining that both have the same memory loss. Shockley learning that both Clay and Floyd are the same. Grown up Branch is weird and it hurts to learn where the main scar came from. Floyd is horrifying to his older brothers, they just want to bundle him up and never let anyone touch him. they all talk in Floyd's room about what they need to to do to get their memories back...none of them notice Keith is listening from behind the cracked door.

Branch confronts them at dinner that night. It isn't pretty. Branch is not going to put up with the "We're trying to protect you" routine. And to their shock, takes charge of the room, saying that he and them already had that fight about that topic, and how he doesn't need them anymore. He had Poppy and Keith, and the only reason that Floyd is staying here because branch knows he can't take care of himself. He'll help them, but he won't tolerate arguing. they need to settle their teenaged issues with each other. Because if Keith has to deal with their fights like Branch had to endure, he'd kick them all out.

I'm not sure about how the ending would work yet, but all the brothers would be brought back to the moment they left. And vowed to stay together as a family. In one time line, Branch would have the brothers he deserved.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so i just found some old interviews of spop, especially ones after the finale, and i just wanted to dissect some of the interesting parts:

the crew themselves keep reinforcing the idea that only catra saw adora for who she is, when the show itself says otherwise multiple times. catra, who mocked adora for never being a true hero, who kept hurting adora because she resented her for being she-ra, who kept saying that adora has a hero complex and that she is full of herself. that catra “motivated and inspired” adora?

“i wanted their romance to be the central arc”

this explains everything. the fact that they took an existing show with an intriguing fantasy world and so much potential and then reduced it to “cute lesbians kiss haha”. if you're gonna write a show about romance, do that. you don't have to butcher an already existing series for that.

“it reveals how that arc has been built”

what arc? is the arc we're talking about in the same room as us? because from what i can see, they put in zero effort to make c//a's development even halfway coherent. catgirl tortures hero for four seasons, gets saved by said hero and joins the good guys, continues torturing hero. how is that an arc?

so.. they have the right idea here. catra and adora did indeed need to take their time away from each other and deal with their problems. but did they? adora came close to building her self-esteem and realizing that she didn't have to take responsibility for everything around her. but then all that was reversed in s5 when she was forced into a relationship with the same person who ruined her sense of self-worth in the first place.

catra.. doesn't even try. the closest she got to moving on from her past was during her time in the crimson waste but then she ends up spiralling even deeper into toxicity, adding more and more into her list of crimes. in s5, she is shown to reflect on her relationship with adora but does she learn anything from it? nope. she continues abusing and berating adora, she continues giving adora mixed signals and relying on adora to do all the work in the relationship.

so the crew seemingly had the right idea (although i'd say they still shouldn't get into a relationship, even after they've worked on their issues) but never followed through. instead they gave us a lazy and rushed redemption, where the wrongdoer never works on their flaws and instead puts all the blame on their partner. amazing.

so nate himself admits that not all of catra's actions were justified. but then, why does the show try to justify them? why does the show justify catra abusing adora by implying that it's because adora abandoned her? why does the show justify all of catra's toxic and abusive behaviour by blaming it solely on shadow weaver? if catra's actions cannot be justified, the narrative should keep her accountable, which they don't.

secondly, i'll try not to assume the worst of nate's personality from what he said, and just get to the important part.

“It's other people's decision to forgive you, that's not a given, but also there are ways for you to fix what's broken. You have to work hard to prove yourself again, you have to actually actively fix what's done, it's not as simple as a sacrifice.”

i'm so confused. the way nate says it, you'd think he applied all of this to catra's arc. but he didn't. “it's not as simple as a sacrifice” but a sacrifice was all it took for catra to be forgiven by her victims. she doesn't work on herself, her apologies were shallow, and she continues repeating the same mistakes. “it's other people's decision to forgive you” yet every single character forgives catra immediately and none of them are allowed to stay mad at her.

how could you write such a bad redemption and then talk about it as if it had all the details and nuance it was lacking? again, when speaking, nate seems to have the right idea of how to write a redemption arc. why did they fumble so badly when it came to actually executing it in the story? the only answer i can think of is that none of the writers in the crew are good at writing.

[imobsessedwiththeatre]

Lets analyze dont lose your head song!! (Historical accuracy)

Grew up in the French Court- kinda?? She was at austrian court too i think. She was lady in waiting. NO SHE WASNT FRENCH just she spended most of her teenagw years here

Oui, oui, bonjour

Life was a chore so (she set sail)- exactly!! Her life in france was a chore!!

1522 came straight to the UK

All the British dudes, lame-the song made it seem she just moved to england, but she did not guys she was borned here :"). And she almost married a guy named William Carey, so its not rlly accurate

Epic fail

Ooh, I wanna dance and sing- yes! There was a show called "Chateu verte" or something i dont remember. And it was exactly in 1522 so its alr+

Politics, not my thing- i cant say if its accurate or not. I think she was quite interested in politics

Ooh, but then I met the King

And soon my daddy said, "You should try and get ahead"- YES

He wanted me, huh, obviously

Messaging me like everyday- it was like a stalk. He even sent her doctors when she got sick, without asking for it!!

Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding

I was prêt-à-manger-????

Ooh, sent a reply

Ooh, just saying hi

Ooh, you're a nice guy

I'll think about it maybe, xo baby- UHH?? HENRY STARTED ALL OF THIS FLIRTING?? SHE TRIED TO AVOID HIM??

Here we go

(You sent him kisses)

I didn't know I would move in with his misses- she in fact knew about his wife ane child.

(What?)

Get a life

You're living with his wife?- in 1530 henry wanted anne to movw into the palace, while trying to get catherine out

Like, what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

Or go to hell

I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

Three in the bed and the little one said- NO

If you wanna be wed, make up your mind

Her or me, chum

Don't wanna be some

Girl in a threesome- there wasnt any threesome?..

Are you blind?

Ooh, don't be bitter

Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter

Ooh, why hasn't it hit her?

He doesn't want to bang you

Somebody hang you- idrk if she would say it. I dont really know anything bout their relationship

Here we go

Your comic went viral

I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral- Yeah, they accused her of witch craft

Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you- FR. they loved catherine sooo...

Mate, what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

Or go to hell

I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

Tried to elope

But the pope said nope

Our only hope was Henry

He got a promotion

Caused a commotion

Set in motion the C of E

The rules were so outdated

Us two wanted to get x-rated- they already got 'x-rated'..

Soon, ex-communicated-yeah they made small secrwt wedding

Everybody chill, its totes God's will

Henry's out every night on the town-MHM

Just sleeping around, like what the hell?-YEA

If that's how it's gonna be

Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three- NO. But they accused her of affair with her brother george, some violinist and other guy

Just to make him jell

Henry finds out and he goes mental- YEAH

He screams and shouts- wait he was rather calm i think?..yk he was abt to marry jane

Like so judgemental

You damned witch-Yeah...

Mate, just shut up

I wouldn't be such a b-

If you could get it up- UMMM...

Here we go

(Is that what you said?)- she didnt really argued tho..

And now he's going 'round like off with her head- it was like guards got her and her so called lovers on a talk

(No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it

(Seems it)

What was I meant to do?

(What was she meant to do?)

Like what was I meant to do?

(What was she meant to do?)

No, but what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

Or go to hell (she's going to hell)

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what she said

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

AND FOR THE REST?? ID SAY SHE WAS RATHER CONFIDENT THROUGH THE EXECUTION

[hatterladz]

Spoilers for Chapter 355, I usually don't do this but this got me super excited so technically live reaction [I'm writing this post at the time of reading it]

OMG OMG OMG FANNY IS LEAVING BRUTE

WE'RE STARTING THE CHAPTER WITH FANNY LEAVING

Did seeing the stuff with Vicious and also her whole "Why couldn't he save himself?" crisis cause her to realize things? Did she just like spiral??? Holy hell I'm losing my mind I did not expect this to happen so early! I thought we'd have a few more Fanny chapters until then! GO FANNY GO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

I wonder who her other options were? I imagine Dovil and Red, was Cup on that list? I imagine he was the second or third based on her going "I can't go to them" considering recent events between those two, and it would be safer for Red and Dovil if she didn't approach them so I understand her wariness about that [although if she went to Red she would eventually run into Cup anyway]

OMG IT WAS THE CRISIS WITH CUPHEAD! I KNEW IT!!! Man I wonder how he'd feel about that. "I left my husband because I started wondering why you were such a damsel in distress and couldn't just leave and realized I was in the same situation so I left." [Live Cup Reaction: 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ What. What does that mean.]

YAAAAA GET HIS ASS FANNY I BELIEVE IN YOU TAKE THAT BASTARD TO COURT!!!! RAAAAAAGH!!! I'm so fucking proud of her rn. This chapter is curing my depression

Fanny: Don't worry I need to survive so I can bitch at Cup

Vicious: You owe him an apology first don't you

Fanny: I can do both

[Also I wonder if she's going to bitch at him about leaving his situation. That'd certainly be interesting to see. And I might just ascend honestly. I thrive for "You inspired me to leave my shitty situation by being my mentally ill friend so I'm dragging you out of yours if its the last thing I do" friendships]

Absolutely living for Fanny harrassing Vicious and Cup being a menace rubbing off on her. This has me kicking my feet and giggling. The character development Fanny DESERVES

Did. Did Vicious hire a bodyguard for Fanny or a hit on Brute? I'm down for either honestly. Also the only one I know that she trusts with that is the Cupbros but Fanny and Cup are tense rn. Since Vicious said she prefers doing everything herself with occasional Cupbro hire. Maybe Mugs based off the fluffguts comment and she doesn't call Cup fluffguts? If Mugs then more then likely a bodyguard, I don't see Vicious suddenly disrespecting Fanny's wishes now.

HAHA I KNEW IT! Man I'm so good at this guys.

Also Mugs I think Cup would be less stabbed in the back and more concerned for Fanny's safety especially considering Cup seems to give a rats ass about anyone apologizing to him about being an asshole. Ya she crossed a line but Cup definitely has screwed priorities a lot of times. Vicious might be doing you guys a favor asking you. Don't get me wrong Cup will be upset about it and he's prob upset with Fanny but still [ugh this is making me wanna rant about Cup's mental health again. Nope. Not rn I have work soon I need to finish this chap]

Lmao ya Mugs deserved that one GET HIS ASS VICIOUS!!! But props to Mugs trying to defend his bro.

I hope Mugs guards her I've decided my new favorite antagonistic relationship is Mugs and Fanny please please please take this up guys I will be EATING the sassiness up like CANDY not only that but I'd LOVE to see Mugs be a little shit to someone on the norm I don't get to see him being a brat enough and Fanny needs someone to be that hard "stop being a bitch" boundary that Cup severely LACKS

Also Fanny being like "WHAT WAS HE GONNA DO? STALK ME?" "Yes." "NO I'D TELL YOU?? TF????"

OHHHHH I'M ALREADY LOVING THIS MUGS COMING IN STRONG WITH THE "FORCING PEOPLE TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY" RIGHT HOOK AND FANNY COMING IN WITH THE "I EMPATHIZE WITH HIS TRAUMA AND UNDERSTAND HIM BECAUSE OF THAT" KICK!!! WOOOOOOO In all seriousness I'm frothing at the mouth from this chapter I'm going to go be deranged for an hour

[theflyindutchwoman]

I got asked this question and loved it so much, I wanted to open it up to the group.

If you could choose 5 Chenford scenes to rewrite, which would you choose, and how would you rewrite them?

Oooh thank you for 'tagging' me, Becca ♡ It is a great question! Let's see…

4.17 - The ending So technically, this isn't a Chenford scene… But this is partly why I would want it to be rewritten. Let's start with the most egregious part : having Lucy apparently forgive Chris and act like he hadn't just callously triggered her… or like she hadn't just watched the video recording her own death… That ending bothered me so much. Ideally, I wish she would have kicked him to the curb - or, at least, ask for some space after what he did… and I would have loved a final scene between her and Tim. One where she would have confided in him about watching the cam footages, where they would have talked about that day and her trauma… I love that she was able to work through it all by herself, that she found her voice so to speak and refused to play Rosalind's mind games… But somehow, I can't help but think that not having a single Chenford scene was a missed opportunity.

5.04 - The ending Since we're on that topic… Now, this was an even bigger missed opportunity. I still can't believe that we didn't get a scene between Lucy and Tim following Rosalind's death. And by that, I mean, a proper scene with some emotions and some feelings… I get that during the episode, they were too busy trying to find a way to save Bailey. I also get that things were still awkward between them. But come on, I don't believe for a second that this would have stopped Tim. This is the same man who didn't even think before grabbing her hand in the middle of their undercover op when they found out about Rosalind's escape… the same man who was panicking when Lucy was radio silent… I needed that same energy here. What we got instead was a bit too cold for me.

5.13 - Missing scene : the morning after You have no idea how much I was hoping for this scene… Something soft and domestic… with a reference to the DOD tattoo!

5.16 - Their fight about the five-player trade That scene still puzzles me. It felt forced and clunky. We didn't really get to see Tim's perspective and why he was mad at Lucy. In the shop, it sounded like he was upset with how her move would reflect on him… But in his office, they only talked about her going behind his back. So, in the end, it felt superficial. I'm not saying he was wrong by the way… I just wish his point of view could have been explored more. Both of their perspectives actually. Especially since Lucy paid a hefty price in the end. I guess the point was to show the cracks in their foundation, but it could have been done in a better way.

6.01/6.02 - Their fight Lucy's anxiety and potential doubts about UC were just swept entirely under the rug and the narrative simply focused on Tim's own issue with UC. But one issue doesn't negate the other. There were two problems here and only one got addressed - and barely at that. After all the crumbs from s5, all the times Tim walked away from having a real conversation on the topic, I needed more than 'I will deal with this' / 'we'll figure it out'. It's great that he was finally honest with himself but it still didn't go any further than that. And then, there's Lucy. I was hoping her anxiety would be the precursor for a bigger discussion about Lucy's future and her mental health, about her feelings about UC outside of Tim… but nope. Her spiraling was already forgotten in 6.02. And it is a bit frustrating.

[ailendolin]

I fully LOST IT at your Liveblog when you said you had a soft spot for Kemen, fully aware you were LIVE-reacting and knowing what would happen. I love how it spiraled down to "nope soft spot gone", utter perfection of development

- via @celebrimbor-apologist

Oh, I know! The thing is, I've already had a soft spot for him in season 1 because he is so desperate to make his father proud - which given that we're talking about Pharazon here is probably next to impossible. I'm pretty sure Kemen couldn't care less about his father's goals and plans but, well, his father cares so he obviously thinks the more supportive he is, the more he engages with his father's ideas, the more likely his father will show him the affection he craves. It is quite tragic, in a way, and I do feel sorry for him.

That being said, he has now crossed a line. He has killed someone (Valandil, I'm going to miss you and I am so sorry this happened to you. You deserved better). And I have a feeling he will continue on a downward spiral now that he's realised how easy it is to take a life. I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes more and more ruthless and dangerous as time goes on, and if Annatar really goes to Numenor next season, it's going to be ridiculously easy for him to manipulate Kemen (perhaps he will even give or promise him a ring as a way out of that prophecy of his mother's and a means to make his father proud?).

[baby-yongbok]

Poetry

Chapter Five - Morning After

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, sweet like candy

Summary: Will you die of embarrassment or will you make it through?

Word Count: 4,446

A/N: I wanted to do so much in this chapter but I'm trying to pace the story right. I hope it isn't too boring lol this the first fluff series I've ever written and my first slow-ish burn series ever in my years of writing. I hope that you enjoy it! + If you haven't already, I highly recommend reading the previous parts before this one so that you get the ✨full experience✨. See you next Thursday at 6 💕

Part Four

✧Poetry Series Masterlist✧

✧Main Masterlist✧

Is this even real? You’ve been asking yourself that for the past twenty minutes while you’re cuddled into Hyunjin’s side laughing about any and everything. Did you guys really just kiss? You find yourself sneaking your hand up to your lips every few seconds as the feeling lingers, you’re not ready to let it go just yet. 

“So did you ever find out what it was?” Hyunjin asks, curious to know more details about your haunted childhood home that you’re telling him about.

“Nope, but I truly believe that It was a ghost.” Hyunjin shakes his head, staring up at your ceiling. “How did we end up telling ghost stories?”

“I asked what made you afraid of lightning and it all spiraled from there.”

“Ah, right.” You glance over at your digital clock but there are no numbers on display. You were so tangled in your own world with Hyunjin that you completely forgot that the power went out. 

“What time is it?” Hyunjin sits up and you follow. He looks around for his phone as you make your way to your vanity for yours. 

“11:23pm” Your voices clash with each other as you both answer at the same time, you both follow with a chuckle and Hyunjin stands from your bed.

“I should probably get going.” He stretches, taking a quick peek out of your window to gauge the storm's intensity. It’s nothing like it was earlier, it’s actually way worse. 

“I am not letting you walk home in that.” You protest, taking a peek out of the window yourself. The sidewalks are damn near flooded. 

“I walked here and I was fine.”

“You were soaking wet.”

“That’s nothing.” Hyunjin shrugs, you cross your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at him. He flashes a cute playful smile at you and you roll your eyes, taking a step towards him.

 “I’m not letting you walk home in that, it's too dangerous and you’ll definitely get sick.” Hyunjin shrugs again, his smile not fading. He steps closer and you can't help but feel your heart flutter, you scoff, turning towards your closet and making your way over to it.

“You’re staying the night.” Hyunjin chuckles lightly, you can hear his bare feet against your floor as he circles the bed over to your closet.

“I saw that coming.” You reach for some extra blankets at the top of your closet, stretching yourself to get to them. “I got it.” 

Hyunjin gently places his hand on the small of your back before reaching up to grab the blankets. You feel that familiar electricity run up your spine but this time it’s less of a surprising sensation and more of a relaxing one. “Anything else?” Hyunjin peers down at you, waiting for your answer.

“You tell me, you’re the one sleeping on the floor.” You shrug as you meet his gaze. He tongues his cheek, sighing sarcastically

“I don’t even get the couch?” 

“Our couch is way worse than the floor, trust me. That thing graduated university with me.” 

“Ew, okay, I’ll take the floor.” He takes note of what he’s already taken down from the closet before asking for another blanket, you point to one on the other side of your closet and just as he reaches for it you both hear a loud crash coming from somewhere in your apartment. You both turn towards the door, brows pinched together as you listen closely for any other sounds. 

“Let me check on that.” You start walking towards your door and Hyunjin follows close behind. You stop suddenly, turning to look at him with furrowed brows. “You don’t have to come.”

“You want me to let you investigate a loud sound in your apartment with no power on?” Hyunjin asks slowly and sarcastically. “Make it make sense.”

“Fine.” You sigh, you’re sure that I was nothing, probably just the wind. You open your bedroom door and creep out slowly, using your phone flashlight to illuminate your path. Hyunjin follows, his eyes busy scanning everything around him. Once you start to approach the kitchen you can hear the sound of glass clinking. You follow the sound and find another flashlight in the kitchen held by your distracted roommate. He’s got his headphones on as he cleans up the mess that he made, unfortunately that mess was your antique thrift shop vase shattered with the orange roses that Hyunjin gave you sprawled out on the tile. 

“Ugh, really Bin?” You groan just loud enough to grab Changbin’s attention. 

“Ah, sorry about this, I was looking for more matches and I knocked it over. I’ll buy you a new vase.” You nod, taking a couple of steps closer to check out the damage. Just as you’re about to comment, Changbin asks you a question that makes your heart skip. 

“How was your date? Was I right?” You look up at him with wide eyes and try to subtly shake your head. There’s no way that he’s asking you this and Hyunjin is right behind you, does he not see the tall dark haired man standing right there? Is he blind?

“I wasn’t right? He didn’t kiss you?” You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and dramatically palming your forehead. “What?” 

“Hey.” Hyunjin speaks before you can, taking a step forward and awkwardly waving at Changbin. “I’m Hyunjin, nice to meet you.” 

You can hear Hyunjin trying to hold his laughter and you cringe a bit from embarrassment. How could Changbin do this to you? You definitely won’t let him forget this.

“Oh shit, Uh nice to meet you, man. I’m Changbin.” Your roommate introduces himself then looks over at you. “You could’ve warned me.”

“You could’ve kept your mouth shut until the morning.” You roll your eyes, sighing dramatically. “He’s staying over, I’ll see you in the morning. Try not to humiliate me again, please.” 

You and Hyunjin turn around to walk away and Hyunjin mutters a quick good night before retreating back into your room. Before you can get too far you hear Changbin whisper yelling your name and you turn back towards him. “Was I right?”

You groan, turning around and flashing your middle finger in your roommate's direction before walking away. When you get back to your room Hyunjin is fiddling with the blankets you gave him, starting to set up his spot on the floor. You go over to the head of your bed to pick out some pillows for him, you both move in silence for a minute or two until Hyunjin clears his throat. 

“So -” 

“Don’t.” You cut him off before he can finish and he immediately bursts into a fit of laughter. You groan, trying your best not to laugh with him. “Do not make me relive the embarrassment.”

“Come on.” Hyunjin grabs your wrist as he tries to stop laughing. He pulls you into him, hugging you but you don’t hug him back. “You wanted me to kiss you tonight?”

“No.”

“No?” Hyunjin pulls back to look down at you, amusement written all over his face. You roll your eyes, pouting a bit as you realize that you have no way out of this.

“I mean, I wanted you to, yeah. But, Changbin predicted that you would, so that's why he asked if he was right.” Hyunjin nods, still smiling down at you.

“Are you going to talk about me when I leave?”

“Please don’t make me answer that.” You stomp your feet dramatically.

“That’s a yes.” He lets you go and you plop down onto your bed face down. “What are you doing?”

“Dying of embarrassment.” Hyunjin sits next to you on the bed, ruffling your hair playfully.

“Please don’t die before I get to take you on a second date.” You sigh dramatically into the mattress and Hyunjin smiles as he watches you. How could you be so cute?

“Too late, I’m withering away, this is the last you’ll see of me. I’ll be nothing but dust in the morning.” Your voice is muffled by the mattress and Hyunjin chuckles at the sound.

“Why are the ones that read always so dramatic?” You roll over, gasping at him and pretending to be offended. Your hand lays over your heart, exaggerating your reaction.

“I am not dramatic.” 

“Hey, I am too. I’ve been called a drama queen for years but clearly you’re coming for my crown.” You roll your eyes, pulling yourself onto your feet and dusting yourself off. 

“This is why you’re sleeping on the floor."

Your alarm wakes you up at 6:30 am just like it does every other morning. The sun has yet to rise but you can already hear the birds singing. You sit up, stretching a bit with a yawn, you look over to your left and stare for a second before leaning over the edge of the bed a bit to get a closer look. Hyunjin is still fast asleep, he’s turned on his side with one arm draped lazily over his chest while the other holds his phone. You faintly remember falling asleep before him last night. The two of you ended up talking until about two in the morning, you can never seem to stay up later than that since you start your day so early. Hyunjin stirs a bit in his sleep, huffing out a breath and moaning lightly as he brings his knees closer to his chest. You watch him, admiring how peaceful he looks curled up on your floor. 

Your admiration is cut short when he mumbles something in his sleep but it’s not just anything, it's your name. You stare down at him in shocked silence before pulling back and laying back against your pillows. Your wide eyes scanned the ceiling searching for confirmation, did you really just hear that? Did he really just say that? You close your eyes for a second, trying your best to refocus. You don’t have time to wonder what his dream is about. You need to get ready to start your day… but what was it about? You shake your head, sitting up and forcing yourself to start moving. If you’re going to obsess over it you might as well be productive. You step out of bed quietly, making sure not to bump into anything. You circle your bed and make your way over to your door. Just as you’re about to turn the knob your second alarm starts going off, you jump at the sound before turning around and rushing over to turn it off. You pick up your phone quickly, fumbling with it before you finally swipe the alarm off. You exhale heavily and glance over at Hyunjin, you smile a bit as you take in his unbothered frame still sleeping peacefully. He’s a heavy sleeper, huh? That must be a good dream.

You take your phone with you as you make your way out of your room, closing the door carefully. You make your way to the bathroom across the hall to get started on your morning routine. You wash your face and brush your teeth as your mind shifts through all of the possible reasons that Hyunjin would say your name in his sleep. Maybe he’s dreaming about your date or some cool adventure. Maybe you just made a quick appearance in the dream and you were there and gone in a flash. You look in the mirror, checking your face for any blemishes when a certain thought sticks out at you, maybe it was a wet dream. Your eyes widen and you almost want to smack yourself for thinking that. You two literally just had your first date, there’s no way that he’s having a wet dream about you, but time doesn’t really matter in the dream world does it? You splash some cold water on your face to pull yourself out of your thoughts before going back to your room, the last thing that you need is to spiral into a fit of ‘What if’s’. As you’re going back to your room you can hear music coming from Changbin’s. He always wakes up at least half an hour before you do to get a head start on working out before the two of you eat breakfast together. You both take turns preparing breakfast and today was his day to cook. 

When you get back to your door you turn the knob gently, trying your best not to make any noise. When you open the door you’re surprised to see Hyunjin sitting up from his spot, his knees tucked into his chest and his head resting on his crossed arms. You close your door just as gently as you opened it, not wanting to scare him. He hasn’t looked up at you so you assume that you did a pretty good job at sneaking in until you hear a sniffle. You freeze as you watch him. He’s still, no shaking or micro movement but he sniffles again and you notice him trying to subtly wipe his eyes, he’s crying. You slowly walk over to him, kneeling down when you get close enough and crawling over to close the gap between you two. He doesn’t move, it’s almost like he didn’t even notice you were there. You don’t say a word, instead you lay your hand on his back, rubbing large circles against his t-shirt. You can feel him relax a bit as you soothe him, his shoulders drop a bit and his back muscles untense. You two sit in silence for a couple of seconds until Hyunjin moves, in a swift yet slow motion he uncurls himself and sinks into you. His head finds your chest and his arms snake around your torso, holding you close. You gasp as the sudden change but quickly settle once he’s comfortable. 

“Sorry about this.” He mumbles, his face halfway pressed into your collar bone. “I had a nightmare.”

Your heart skips and your thoughts begin the race as his words skin in. He had a nightmare with you in it?

“Do you want to talk about it?” You want to know more, both in an attempt to comfort him and in a selfish attempt to calm your rising anxiety.

“No, I'd rather just try to forget about it.” You mumble a small ‘okay’ and attempt to put your anxiety aside to comfort him properly. After about a minute of hugging you he pulls away, he looks over at you with puffy eyes and a small grin on his face. 

“I’m alright.” He nearly whispers as he wipes his face. “I have nightmares often but sometimes they’re terrifying, I guess last night was one of those nights.”

You nod, trying to drown out your thoughts. Not only did he have a nightmare with you in it but he had a terrifying nightmare that literally brought him to tears, that’s great. 

“I’m always here if you want to talk about it.” You try to sound as affirming as you can and it clearly worked since Hyunjin flashed you a more sincere grin this time. You decide to try and stop your spiraling once again by attempting to get ready for your day and trying to help distract Hyunjin. You stand from your seat on the floor, pulling him up with you. He’s a bit reluctant but he follows you, towering over you as soon as he stands completely. You reach both of your hands up towards the ceiling, your pajama shirt lifting a bit as you do. Hyunjin watches you with furrowed brows and you smile.

“Come on, stretch with me.” He smiles back for a second before joining you, a heavy sigh followed by a long whine leaving his lips. You chuckle as you transition into your next stretch.

“You stretch like a five year old.”

“Hey, I do not.” His morning voice catches you off guard now that you can hear it clearly. You expected it to be a bit raspy but you didn’t expect it to be that deep. You blush a bit at the sound of it as you twist your torso and Hyunjin follows. 

“You do.” Hyunjin pouts in your direction, making a sound that a child would make, proving you right.

“I do not.”

You managed to get Hyunjin in higher spirits after some stretching and a bit of play fighting. Apparently calling him by his full name makes him tackle you and tickle you until you agree to never say it again. You put on your morning playlist, humming to the music as your favorite songs played and Hyunjin helped you pick out your outfit for the day. He shifted through your closet for what seemed like forever, picking things out and putting them back until he found a skirt and sweater comb that he thought gave off the ‘Autumn Spirit’. You dressed up the outfit, adding some warm tights and a jacket while he grabbed all of his stuff. Once he was ready he picked out some jewelry for you to wear but there was one piece that you weren’t familiar with.

“Is this yours?” You watch him as he fastens a bracelet around your wrist. The silver chain was a bit heavier than you expected.

“Mhm” He responded happily, watching your reaction closely.

“Does it cost a thousand dollars? It’s so heavy.” Hyunjin laughs as you run your fingers over the cool metal. You rotate the bracelet until the silver name plate shows the brand written in bold letters on the front of it. “This is Versace?”

He smiles at your bewildered tone. “Hyunjin I can’t take this, what if I lose it? What if I break it? This bracelet could probably pay my student loans.”

“Well, it’s only a five hundred dollar bracelet so it’s not that bad.” You stare up at him wide eyed and he tries his best to not laugh at your expression. “ And you can give it back to me when you see me again.”

“You’re not going to act like you didn’t just say that this chain on my arm is five hundred dollars.”

“Angel, it’s not that bad.” You open your mouth to rebuttal but you get stuck on the name that he just called you, he’s never called you anything but your actual name before. A deep blush creeps up your neck and over your cheeks and you look back down at your wrist, studying the expensive jewelry. 

“Fine, I’ll wear it.” You smile down at the chain before turning to grab your bag from the end of your bed. “Did you want to stay for breakfast?”

“I should actually get going so I can return this suit to Han, he’s been texting me about it for the past thirty minutes and if I don’t get it back to him soon our next date will be my funeral.” You chuckle, watching as Hyunjin grabs his stuff and puts his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“We don’t want that now do we?” You look in the mirror one more time before turning to face Hyunjin. He’s grinning at you, his eyes taking you in slowly. “What?”

“You just look beautiful today.” 

“You’re only saying that because you picked out this outfit.”

“I’m saying it because you look stunning in everything.” He takes a step towards you, looking down at you with sparkling eyes but you can’t decipher the emotion behind his gaze. “And because I picked out your outfit.” 

He smiles wider once you gasp at him dramatically. He leans down and lands a quick kiss on your forehead, causing the blush on your cheeks to deepen all over again. 

“Get out.” You playfully roll your eyes and Hyunjin chuckles.

“Yes ma’am.” You both make your way over to your bedroom door and Hyunjin opens it, moving to the side so you can exit first. Just as the two of you are approaching the kitchen you hear Hyunjin mumble something before following up.

“Ah, I forgot my charger. I’ll be right back.” He turns around, heading back to your room to grab his forgotten item and you decide to wait for him in the living room. Just as the kitchen comes into sight you hear a very excited voice call your name. You light up a bit as your eyes land on her, Serena, Changbin’s girlfriend, is sitting at the kitchen island across from him. You and Serena get along well, maybe a bit too well. She and Changbin have been dating since your Junior year of University, if there’s anyone that you would think to be couple goals it’s definitely them.  

“Serena! What did I do to deserve such a beautiful woman in my house this early in the morning?” You make your way over to hug her, trying your best not to mess up her very sophisticated pants suit. 

“I bought breakfast so that I could get the tea while it’s hot.” You looked around the kitchen searching for actual tea but when you didn’t find any the look on Serena’s face gave you all the answers you needed.

“You told her?” You ask Changbin with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Of course I told her. We’ve been trying to get you laid for like three years, this is a big development.” Your cheeks flush once you hear a bit of shuffling coming from down the hall, Hyunjin’s coming back, fuck. You shake your head quickly, putting your finger over your mouth and Changbin quickly gets the message. Unfortunately, Serena wasn’t as quick.

“Come on, tell me everything. Is he cute? Is he a good kisser? I need the tea immediately.” You sigh, slapping your hand against your forehead and you hear Hyunjin stop behind you. Serena’s jaw falls open as she takes in the tall man behind you who is probably as red as a strawberry from trying to hold back his laughter. 

“Good morning.” He says with a smile before taking a step towards Serena and holding a hand out towards her. “I’m Hyunjin, nice to meet you.”

“Well hello there.” Serena takes his hand as her eyes rake over Hyunjin’s frame slowly, taking in every detail. “I’m Serena, Changbin’s girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you”

“The pleasure is mine, Serena.” Hyunjin lets go of her hand and then turns to you with a smile. You avoid his amused gaze, trying to find something else to focus on as he takes a step over to you, nearly closing the gap between you two.

“So -” 

“Don’t” Hyunjin chuckles, trying his best to not fall into a fit of laughter. How many times can you be embarrassed in the span of twelve hours? 

“Don’t be shy, angel.” You pull your lips into a thin line as your heart flutters. That pet name is not helping, it’s only furthering the embarrassment. 

“Maybe I’ll let Han kill you.”

“Hey, don’t you want a second date?”

“I’m not so sure.” You glance up at his smiling face for a second before looking away, you can’t help but to smile a bit in return. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Hyunjin nods at you before turning back to your very captivated audience. You roll your eyes at Changbin and Serena’s smirks as you pass them, making your way over to the front door. 

“Have a good day, it was wonderful meeting you.” Hyunjin bows to them slightly and they both say a quick good-bye. Serena’s gaze follows Hyunjin as he walks away and Changbin leans over the island to push her shoulder. 

Once Hyunjin reaches you he slips on his shoes and you open the door for him. 

“I’ll text you when I get home.” You nod with a small smile and Hyunjin pulls you into a hug, it’s firm yet gentle and you can’t help but to melt into him a bit. “I hope that you had a good time last night.”

“I had a great time, really. That was probably the best date that I’ve ever been on.” Hyunjin pulls away, a look of satisfaction on his face.

“Now I have to top that.” 

“Good luck.” You tease and Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

“I’ll see you later.” Hyunjin’s eyes search yours for a second, and he gives a small, gentle smile. He leans in and gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek before whispering “And don’t worry, I’m going to talk about you too.”

Your face heats up and your heart sings a bit with excitement. He stands tall and takes a couple of steps away from you. “Don’t forget to mention how pretty I am.” You tease and he smiles wider.

“I’ll put it on the list of things to say.” He waves at you and you wave back. He gives you one last look before he turns around, making his way down the hallway and over to the elevator. You step back inside, closing the door gently and taking a deep breath. You slowly make your way back over to the kitchen, smiling like a child who’s just won a prize at the arcade.

“Binnie, when’s the last time you saw her smile like that?” Serena asks her boyfriend as she eyes you.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever seen her smile like that.” 

“Okay, come on, spill everything, we need all of the details. Changbin, make her a plate, we don’t have any time to waste.” Changbin instantly grabs a plate and puts a bit of everything that you like on it. You can hear their voices but you aren’t really listening, you're too busy smiling at the butterflies in your stomach. You snap out of it when Serena grabs your wrist and pulls you over to a bar stool, prompting you to sit next to her. Her and Changbin stare at you expectantly and you sigh, picking up your fork and starting to eat. 

“What do you want to know?”

“Did he kiss you?” Changbin asks quickly and you shake your head. They both gasp, Serena claps excitedly and your roommate puts his fist in the air as if he’s won something. “I called it.”

“The real question is, was it a good kiss?” Serena asks with raised brows and you stop eating immediately. They both lean in, waiting for you to answer while you play back the memory. The reminiscent feeling of Hyunjin’s lips on yours makes you grin a bit as you bounce your leg excitedly. You close your eyes for a second to fully immerse yourself in the memory before opening them and looking over at them. You exhale deeply before smiling. 

“It was so so good.”

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[piratefishmama]

Crossing The Line | Part 9

“Eddie. Dude. You have to stop pacing, you’re gonna wear a hole in the goddamn floor and we ain’t covered for that.”

Eddie did not stop pacing, he just turned on his heel and went in the other direction, starting a fresh line in the floor. “But what if— nah, he wouldn’t… I doubt it, no he was probably just—but then what if—"

“Man, you’re spiralling, if he’s gonna come, he’s gonna come, if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t, what’re you worried about, you don't even like the guy” Eddie didn’t stop pacing. “Unless… Do you?”

“I… may have… actually looked into him?”

“You what?”

“After he turned up at the coffee shop! He was just… he was nice, dude, and… an he had no reason to be, at all, I was a bitch for a whole week towards him for no reason, but he was nice, and funny, and he can sing even if he can’t do shit with metal, he can sing, and… his photoshoots don’t touch up shit he really is that pretty, and I think i'm going to spontaneously combust and die if he turns up tonight dressed to blend in.”

“Wow.”

“Leave me alone!”

“Okay, so, what did you find out on your deep dive through Instagram?” Eddie finally stopped pacing. They were in what the bar deemed to be a ‘green room’ which was really just a room in the back for bands to get their shit together before the gig started, Corroded Coffin always turned up a good hour or so early to make sure everything was set, and of course, get rid of any pre-gig jitters. Gareth was the only one completely ready, his drums were already out there, set up and covered by a black sheet waiting for their time to shine, and his outfit was sorted ages ago.

So Gareth was the one currently in charge of dealing with Eddie, while the other two primped elsewhere.

“Not just Instagram, Jesus, imagine if I’d have scrolled too far back and liked a pic from like, 2001 by accident. How about no to that inevitable mortification. I googled.”

“You googled.”

“Yes I googled!! Did you know that he donated like, ninety-something percent of his earnings from a bullshit rom-com soundtrack deal to LGBT charities across the US after they cut a lesbian couple out of it?”

“No…”

“Neither did I! The fucker didn’t tell anyone!! I HAD TO DEEP DIVE INTO ROBIN’S INSTAGRAM! Trust me that was a scary thing to do, she’s scary. but he pulls that shit all the time apparently!” It wasn’t for publicity, it wasn’t to make himself look good to a demographic, he did it because he could. Because he wanted to. “Did you know he regularly terrorizes producers and directors into offering fair contracts for their child actors and young muscians like a goddamn world class showbiz babysitter?”

“…Nope.”

“Neither did I!! Did you know that he got PERMISSION to sing Crazy Train from the actual goddamn Osbornes? Cause I sure as shit didn’t know that either! He spoke to Sharon, DIRECTLY, Gareth, DIRECTLY. What the actual fucknuggets on fire, does he want with me?!”

“I dunno, to kiss you maybe?”

“WHY?!”

“Can’t claim to have an answer dude, you’re not exactly my type. Maybe you’re his, he did come all this way, right?”

“Pretty sure he could find a weird metalhead in his own damn town, y’know?”

“Maybe it’s not the metalhead thing, I dunno Eds, I just know that maybe this guy will be in the crowd, and if he is, hell yeah, you have managed to secure probably thee best opportunity we’ve ever had in the history of ever, by… being a bitch.”

“We’ve ever had?” Eddie looked at him with a small frown

“Yeah man! Steve Harrington is a huge star in the music world. Dude probably has his own goddamn recording studio in his place… maybe if it goes well… we could ask him if we could use it, save us some cash on a recording studio for demos.”

“…Dude. That’s. That’s kinda taking advantage isn’t it? An I’m not whoring myself out to get free studio time.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it, BUT if you start dating this guy—"

“Gare, anything you say that relates to me using my first potential relationship as a step ladder to fame, is SUPER shitty. Let’s not do that. If he offers, then… maybe, but… that’s not—I wouldn’t even think about asking for that, we wanna get where we’re going on our own, not have it handed to us, right?”

“Well… yeah but… a helping hand would be nice sometimes, y’know? Get us out of playing these shitty dive bar gigs and into the big leagues, you know I can’t stand part time work filling the gaps in the wages, man, retail managers always suck donkey dicks. I cannot work another summer at Staples, they have like no AC, it’s torture, it’s like an oven in there and Ralph doesn’t wear deodorant, he claims it’s an allergy, but I know, I know it’s not, he does it as a power thing it’s weird. This… could be our ticket out.”

“Steve isn’t a ticket. Maybe stop digging a grave you can’t climb out of, yeah? I know I wasn’t the best towards him but… he’s better, deserves better than that… I’m not using him. An honestly I dunno if I’d even know how y’know? It’s not like I’m bursting with experience… barely even—y’know what, I’m not talking about this, big nope on the using Steve as a cheat code to achieving fame! Let’s just… get our shit together and get out there!”

Gareth smiled before rising to his feet, drumsticks in hand “you’re the boss, man. Where’s Jeff an Frank?”

“Bathroom touching up their shit… promise me you won’t bring it up to Steve, yeah? Like… if he does come, you won’t—”

“Dude, dude… I was just throwing out dumb ideas to get you out of your head, I’d never, that’d be really uncool of me” Eddie looked at him with doubt because… okay, maybe there was a little truth to the interest in the subject, Gareth had worked part time in the stationary section of Staples for three years now and he was just about ready to die if he had to deal with his supervisors summer BO any longer, but if Eddie put his foot down and said no, then it was no, the idea was vetoed. Axed. Deader than dead

He could deal with Ralph. Probably.

“…Right, well… oka—”

The door opened, a frizzy head of hair poking around the entry way, one of the bartenders, “You’re on in five guys! Wh—Where’s the rest of you??”

“Gareth go get em for me? I’ll get the crowd warmed up.”

“On it.”

T-5 minutes. Gareth rushed out the opposite door to the bathrooms behind 'stage', otherwise known as the staff bathroom. The bar was heaving, music from the speakers to fill the void of sound before the live music act, loud and thumping, it’d be them soon, filling that void, deep breath. Eddie fluffed his hair once more, spritzed it with hairspray one last time, checked his minimalist eyeliner, and shook himself out, and grabbed his baby.

Show time.

Part 11