#NO THIS WORD HAS A VERY SPECIFIC DEFINITION AND IT CANNOT CHANGE

[thats-sir-dyke-to-you]

Do americans know that swag means something very different to aussies? Like when you say "that's swag, man" there's a percentage of aussies who are like. 👀 SWAG-MAN??

[stevie-petey]

episode one: the hellfire club

Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steve’s voice away from her. “Ew! Gross, don’t say boobies–” “Boobies! It’s not a big deal–” You make a face. “It isn’t the most pleasant word.” “Oh, c’mon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specifically–ow!”  You hit the back of Steve’s head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. “What my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.” 

Summary: el writes to you as if youre her husband away at war, you debate the intricate nature of liking boobies with robin and steve, lucas is your beloved while eddie munson is your sworn enemy, steve accidentally exposes your (horribly hidden) daddy issues, dustin is an angsty teen, and jonathan really loves to drop emotional bombshells on you. can you believe this all happens in one day ? lol cheers to senior year !

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of abuse, allusions to bullying, trauma lol

Words: 13.5k (wrote half of this in one day)

Before you swing in: SHES HERE !!!! SEASON 4 !!! this season terrifies me. i spent so much time outlining and making sure it was perfect. i have some changes i want to do, some ideas, and its scary because we dont have season 5 yet and i hate messing with canon ,,, alas: here she is. my baby. my beloved. quick fun fact: theres a scene in here ive had planned since season 1 so .... enjoy !

–

March 21st, 1986.

Dear Y/N,

Congratulations on New York University! Joyce tells me that it is a very good college, and everyone was extremely happy when Jonathan told us the news. He even had a smile on his face! It has been a very long time since I have seen him smile, especially without that weird smell on him (am I allowed to tell you about the strange plants that Jonathan seems to like now? He says that you cannot find out about it, but friends don’t lie and he is your bestest friend). 

I asked Will about it, and he says that Jonathan now smells because he misses you. If you ask me, I think that Jonathan smells because he is scared. We are still waiting for his college letter, afterall. I know you want to go to school with him, but so does Nancy. Is it possible to go to two colleges? Anyways, it must be a lot of pressure, even more with all the waiting we have to do, but Joyce told us that sometimes colleges take a long time to respond. 

While I am positive that Jonathan will figure it all out soon, he pretends he does not care. But he is a very bad liar. He was very upset that Nancy could no longer visit us in California. Will was bummed too, but he was more sad that it was not you who was visiting. Joyce says that the Byers boys were born to miss you, and I think she is right. 

I also miss you. I am still bummed I never went to school with you. I bet Mike is over the moon to have you with him for high school, Dustin and Lucas also. How is Max? Is she still sad? I know school has been hard for her. I will admit that it is hard for me, too. While I am good at maths, and my grammar is getting better, I am still unsure when to use conjunctions or why Angela does not like me. Will tells me to ignore her, but I want to be her friend. She is nice to everyone else. It confuses me that she is not nice to me.

A lot about California confuses me. The flowers here are different, and sometimes I forget that I cannot go and visit you. I miss the smell of Bookstrordinary (did I spell it right?) and your cookies. Please send more as soon as you can. Will and I are almost dying to taste them again! Mike says he will try to bring some on the plane, but I am scared he will be told no by those scary airplane people.

Speaking of Mike, he is coming to California this week! I am very excited to see him. It has felt like years, I think I am even going crazy. I have planned everything for his week here. Spring break will be extra special! It will be a fun distraction from Angela and school. This week I can pretend to be someone else, someone cool, and Mike will be very impressed. I know you tell me to always be myself, so I hope that I can make you happy by taking your advice on focusing only on the good. 

To prove I will focus on the good from here on out, here is a good things list: 

Mike is visiting!

Will has almost finished his painting. I am very curious to see what he has made. He is really talented, he shows me the drawings he sends you sometimes. 

You got into NYU! Is this the correct way to abbreviate? I am still working on conjunctions, but I think I am supposed to use the first letter of every word in the school’s name to shorten it. At least, that is what Joyce says. 

Jonathan’s new best friend, Argyle, will give us free pizza to celebrate Mike’s arrival. It is really good pizza. 

Tasting your cookies again. Fingers crossed Mike’s plan succeeds!

I am sure there is more, but I am too excited about this week and my mind is going very fast. I miss you tons, maybe even more than Will and Jonathan do. Please come visit us soon. Like Joyce says, the Byers boys were born to miss you. Although I am not a Byers boy, I am still a part of the Byers family, and I miss you. 

Love, El.

P.S., thank you for the grammar books. I will be sure to become the best writer ever in California. 

–

Sweet, gentle, El. You can almost hear her voice, reading aloud to you as you used to do when she lived in Hopper’s cabin. She would stumble over the letters, ask you how to sound out particularly difficult words in Spider-Man comics; they helped her learn how to read. Now, almost a year later, she’s writing you letters. 

El has grown up so much within such a short few months, although it doesn’t surprise you.

Laughing softly as you reread the final line she’s written, you wipe your eyes and place El’s letter onto your desk. The piece of paper joins the others, nestled gently with a pile of her other letters that are housed on your desk. El sends you a new letter every week, detailing silly stories about Jonathan and Will or concerned ramblings about Angela.

The letters make you miss El terribly. They make you miss everyone terribly. 

Next to the letters are drawings from Will. He’s become such an artist during his time in California. He sends you beautiful sketches of landscapes in their neighborhood, doodles from class, and incredibly detailed drawings of you and the party. The drawings are Will’s special way to keep in contact with you, and it’s something you cherish so deeply. However, you didn’t know that he was working on a painting, and you’re curious to see what El is talking about. Eventually he’ll reveal his art to you, he always does.  

Skimming a finger over one of the more recent drawings from Will, your hand catches on the walkman that lays next to it. Jonathan’s messy handwriting is scrawled on the mixtape that sits within it.

For bug.

The words, familiar and loved, stare back at you. The mixtape contains songs that Jonathan so carefully chose for you. He spent countless hours selecting songs that he knew you’d love, songs that reminded him of you. It had been his gift for you before he moved away. And now he’s gone, and you miss him so much more than you ever thought you would. More than you ever thought you could miss anyone.  

Jonathan never did end up coming to Hawkins for spring break. 

“Dusty, what’s going on in there?” The sound of your mother pounding on Dustin’s door breaks you from your thoughts. “You’re gonna be late.”

“Don’t come in, I’m naked!” You hear the boy screech back at her, which you roll your eyes at. Steve will be here to pick you guys up any minute. Dustin knows he should be ready by now, the schedule has never changed. 

Throwing on the cardigan Steve got you for Christmas last year, you grab your walkman and storm over to Dustin’s room. At the same time, your mother nearly crashes into you in the hall. Her face is pale, horrified of the idea that she almost saw her son naked, and you pity the woman. Dustin has become relentless lately, even more difficult to deal with. 

“Y/N, my dear,” your mother clutches at her chest and fans her face. “Can you please make sure your brother is ready? I think that boy is trying to give me a heart attack.”

You sigh, figuring you would have to do so anyways. “Yeah, sure. Go finish getting ready, I’ll handle him.”

“This is why you’re my favorite daughter!” Your mother kisses your cheek before running off towards the kitchen to make her morning coffee. 

Once she’s gone, you immediately start banging on Dustin’s door. He knows you hate being late. Plus, it’s the Friday before spring break. You’re getting antsy waiting for this week to end. “Dustin Henderson, you have three seconds before I kick this door down.”

“Not now, Y/N!” Dustin shouts back, frantic and desperate. 

You narrow your eyes. He’s using his suspicious voice, the one he only uses when he’s doing something he absolutely shouldn’t be doing. Glancing down at your watch and noting the early hour, you curse in disbelief. “It’s not even seven yet, what the hell are you up to so early in the morning?”

“Nothing! Just go away, I’ll be out soon–”

“I swear, if you’re trying to sell my limited edition comics again I will hurt you.” You throw your body against the door, causing it to fly open as you stumble inside. Dustin is at his computer and he nearly falls off his chair in his haste to cover the screen from you. He’s remarkably horrible at playing cool. You’re about to tell him this when Suzie’s voice crackles through his radio’s speakers. 

“Yikes, Dusty.”

“Suzie?” You walk over to your brother and shove his hands off the computer screen. He falls to the ground with a loud thud, which pleases you. He may be a teenager now, but you’re still stronger than him. At least for now. “Why are you calling her right now–” Your eyes land on the screen and you recognize Hawkins High’s familiar orange and green school colors. “Is this the student gradebook?”

“No!” Dustin exclaims, but Suzie’s small and soft voice responds, “Yes.”

“Oh my God,” you cannot believe he’s making his girlfriend hack into your school’s database. Sure, she’s a genius, but you also know she’s incredibly religious. “Dustin, this is so illegal and goes against, like, all of Suzie’s religious morals–”

“I will repent later.” Suzie interrupts you, and you raise your eyebrows at what she’s just said. Before you can question her, Dustin’s computer refreshes. 

He leans forward, eyes scanning to see if they’ve succeeded, and he seems to like what he sees. Suddenly Dustin lets out a sudden whoop and fist bumps the air. “God, I love you Suzie.”

Curious, you lean over and read the screen as well. There, where you know Dustin had a D- in Latin not even a day ago, is now an A. There’s no possible way he was able to raise his grade in under twenty-four hours. He sucks at Latin, he hates it, which means… She did it. Suzie changed his grade. All she had to do was press one single button to save Dustin’s GPA. 

You have to admit, it’s impressive. And shamefully genius. 

“Hey, Suzie.” You bring the radio to your lips, shoving Dustin away when he tries to take it from you. “Do you think you could change my grade in calculus? Jonathan was the only reason I passed any of my other math classes.”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Suzie’s voice raises a pitch, she doesn’t want to tell you no. She likes you, she really does, but her God figurine stares down at her with a disappointed look in his eyes. She’s sinned for love, but she doesn’t think she could ever do it again. 

You’re about to plead with Suzie, tell her NYU really prioritizes their student’s grades, but the sound of a car honking outside catches your attention; it’s Steve. Dustin yanks the radio from your hand and shoos you away. “Go, leave without me.”

“What, why? We always drive together.” You frown, feeling like a little kid when you cross your arms. Dustin smiles apologetically, a smile you’ve become familiar with. Your mood darkens, anger rises to your cheeks. You know exactly why Dustin is now skipping out on you. “Don’t tell me it’s that stupid Eddie Munson–”

“He wants me and Mike to work out some campaign details before lunch today!” Dustin scrambles to mediate. He hates that you don’t like Eddie, and you like everyone. It’s unnerving how much disdain you seem to carry for his friend. “Nance is driving us, but I swear I’ll ride with you and Steve after break!”

You scoff at Dustin, not at all believing his promise to you. Ever since September your brother has been at Eddie Muson’s beck-and-call, who dictates everything Dustin says or does. At first it was innocent enough, choosing to sit with the guy instead of you at lunch. Skipping out on a few weekend plans with you and Steve to campaign with Eddie. You’d been happy for Dustin. He was making new friends, no longer your little shadow; he was his own person with his own priorities and interests now.

But ever since getting into NYU last week, Dustin has been pulling away even more from you. You don’t know why, but he’s become even more obsessed with Eddie and his stupid Hellfire club. 

Eddie Munson is the air your brother now breathes, stifling the air Dustin once breathed for you.

And it seems to only be suffocating you, not him.

“Yeah, whatever.” Halfheartedly you ruffle Dustin’s hair, and he leans into the touch. You don’t want him to know his repeated absences are upsetting you. Deep down, you know you’re being irrational. You’re almost eighteen, soon you won’t even be living under the same roof as Dustin. He’s allowed to live his own life. “I guess I’ll see you at the pep rally. Tell Suzie I said bye, please?”

Dustin nods, though you don’t linger in the doorway like you desperately want to. Instead, you shut the door behind you and place a swift kiss to your mother’s cheek as you leave. 

Steve’s car is parked in its usual spot at the end of the driveway. The teen’s arm hangs out the window and his face breaks into a smile when he sees you approaching. Steve’s smile is infectious, it’s always charmed you, and it settles the ache in your chest from your brother’s earlier dismissal. Feeling a smile spread across your own face, you run towards Steve and poke your head through the open window.

“Hi,” you breathe out, nose almost bumping against his cheek.

“Hi, angel.” Steve kisses you, solidifying your morning tradition. Neither one of you really remembers who started it, but sometime during the school year you began to slip your head through Steve’s car window so that he could kiss you slow and sweet. 

And, as tradition follows, Robin starts boos. “Do you have to do that every morning?”

Steve makes a face at her and she punches his arm. He yelps in pain and you roll your eyes at the two of them before running over to the passenger’s side where Robin sits. Her window is rolled down as well and you duck your head inside. “Aw, Robin. If you wanted a kiss, you could’ve just said so!” 

“A kiss–?” Your lips press against Robin’s cheek, smushing against her face while making a dramatic sound. She squeals and pushes you away, wiping her now wet cheek in disgust. “That is not what I wanted.”

You giggle at her and finally get into the car. It’s getting late, you see the assortment of Robin’s limited makeup dumped into her lap haphazardly. She’s been stressing about this morning’s pep rally all week, and clearly she isn’t coping very well. Trying to cheer her up, you flick her shoulder. “I’ll have you know that my cheek kisses are cherished in Hawkins.”

“How many people’s cheeks are you kissing?” Steve turns in his seat to face you, slightly alarmed. Then, noticing that there’s only one Henderson in his car, he frowns. “And where’s little Henderson?”

“Eddie Munson.”

“Woah, wait, you mean Eddie as in where Dustin is, right? Not, like, you’ve been kissing his cheek? I’m right, right? Please tell me I’m right.”

You roll your eyes fondly at Steve while Robin rolls hers in displeasure. “Just drive, Steve.”

–

It becomes pretty apparent five minutes into the car ride that no one seems to be having a good morning. Robin has spent the majority of the drive applying and reapplying her mascara while messing with her hair. She groans every time she looks in the mirror and her eyes lack their usual brilliance. 

Meanwhile, Steve has been complaining about yet another fight with his dad. Apparently they argued during breakfast, something that has become a common occurrence in the Harrington household. 

“The asshole again reminded me that I’m turning twenty soon. As if I don’t already know that! I mean,” Steve laughs in exasperation. “For weeks now he’s been asking me what my plans are, as if working at Family Video just isn’t good enough for him. As if my dad isn’t the sole reason I had to get a lousy minimum wage job in the first place!” 

“Family Video isn’t a lousy job–”

“Yes it is.” Both Steve and Robin say at the same time, which you sigh at. Can’t really argue with that. 

“Okay, yeah. It’s pretty lousy.”

Steve rubs his eyes tiredly. “And that isn’t even the worst part. There I was, pouring syrup over my pancakes, trying to enjoy the fact that my parents are actually home for once, when my asshole of a father tells me that if I don’t have a respectable job by the time I’m twenty, he’ll kick me out. I mean, can you believe that?” 

You suck in a breath. “Steve…”

Richard Harrington is a cruel, awful man. 

While you understand his frustrations towards Steve, it’s completely unreasonable to expect him to get a reputable job in a few short months without any college education. Steve’s right, it had been Richard’s idea to make him work at Scoops Ahoy in the first place. When the mall burned down, he had no other option but to work at Family Video soon after. 

“I’m sorry, honey.” You intertwine your fingers through Steve’s hair and rub your thumb up and down the nape of his neck in a soothing manner. Steve allows the touch, but he’s still tense. Guessing that he’s uncomfortable feeling so pitied, you try to make light of the situation with humor. “But hey, who knows? Maybe you can come live with me in New York if he ends up kicking you out.”

Steve risks a look at you, taking his eyes off the road for a few moments, and his eyes shine. He’s ecstatic over what you’ve just said. He looks like a little kid on Christmas Eve. “You really mean that?”

“Well, I mean…” It had mostly been a joke, a throwaway comment to try and get him to smile. But Steve’s body finally relaxes under your touch and you can’t tell him no. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“You hear that, Robin?” Steve preens, wanting to get her attention. However, when he realizes that she hasn’t been listening to the entire conversation, he makes an offended sound. “Robin, are you listening to me?”

“Uh, yes?” Her eyes meet yours in the mirror, startled that she’s been caught. “You were-uh. Talking to Y/N about your dad. We-we hate him! Yeah, we hate the guy. He really… grinds my gears?”

Steve groans. “We all hate my dad, but that wasn’t what I was talking to you about!”

“Cut me some slack, please. Your relationship with your father is one of labyrinthine complexity–”

You poke your head between the two teens. “Actually, it’s not that complicated.”

Robin covers your mouth with her hand and continues with her rant. “It’s seven in the morning, we have the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!” 

“I think you look lovely as always, Robin.” You mumble through the girl’s hand, barely coherent.

Steve, however, isn’t as supportive. “You’re worried about a pep rally? You really expect me to believe that?”

“Yeah, so?” Robin removes her hand from your mouth and goes back to doing her makeup. She’s avoiding the conversation now, which only means that Steve is onto something. Why has she been so obsessed about this week’s pep rally? Robin has been in band for years now, she’s done a million pep rallies during her high school career. It can’t be performing that makes her nervous. 

Which means it has to be about someone. 

Locking eyes with Steve, he seems to be thinking what you are. “I think we all know what this is about, okay? Y/N and I aren’t buying that bullshit.”

“This is about Vickie.” You finish for him, a smirk on your face. For weeks now Vickie has been all Robin has talked about. Her hair, how pretty her smile is, how cute her freckles are. Vickie also happens to be in band with Robin. “C’mon, you can’t tell us we’re wrong.”

“I absolutely can tell you you’re wrong.” Robin denies what you and Steve are implying.

Steve shakes his head. “You know we’re right! And you know what else we think?”

“I really don’t care–”

“Y/N and I think that you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you’re around her, okay? You just gotta be yourself.”

Robin doesn’t want to hear any of this. At least not from you and Steve. “You guys are biased, you do realize that?”

“What do you mean?” You’re practically laying across Steve’s car console in order to be a part of the conversation. “I think we’re objective people.”

“You’re telling me that all I have to do is be myself and Vickie will want to date me?”

You frown. “Yeah? What’s wrong with that?”

Robin throws her head back. “Because it took Steve months to ask you out. Mind you, this was when you were already in love with the guy! And he knew you were in love with him!”

“Okay, hey–” Steve doesn’t at all like what she’s insinuating. He didn’t necessarily know you were already in love with him, he just… had a small hunch. 

“I’m not done,” Robin holds her hand up. “All Steve had to do was man up and admit his feelings for you. He didn’t have to agonize over whether or not it’d blow up in his face. There was no risk, no danger, no world ending consequences. I mean, if you had rejected him then maybe Steve’s ego would’ve been bruised. But if I ask out the wrong girl? Bam! I’m a town pariah.”

“This is true,” you reluctantly agree. While you could never envision a world where you’d ever say no to Steve, you also recognize that the world where you somehow do wouldn’t be the same world as Robin’s. Things are different for her, whether you like it or not. Robin has to live with this knowledge, and her conversation with you about luck and love from last summer echoes in your mind. 

Steve places a hand on his chest, betrayed. “Whose side are you on, Y/N?”

“True love’s side.”

Robin snorts and Steve doesn’t bother to hide his smile. He wants to tease you for being a hopeless romantic, but now isn’t the time. Instead, he continues the previous conversation. “True love aside, we can’t ignore that Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl.”

“Oh, she definitely isn’t straight.” You agree.

“We don’t know that!” Robin quickly sprays some breath freshener in her mouth and gags, which you cringe at. Vickie is one lucky girl if Robin ever manages to become her girlfriend. 

Steve doesn’t let up, he’s convinced he has it all figured out. “She returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds.”

“The bikini scene, mind you.” You butt in, and Steve nods eagerly.

“And you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies, Robin!” 

Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steve’s voice away from her. “Ew! Gross, don’t say boobies–”

“Boobies! It’s not a big deal–”

You make a face. “It isn’t the most pleasant word.”

“Oh, c’mon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specifically–ow!” 

You hit the back of Steve’s head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. “What my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.” 

Robin can’t even look at the two of you, appalled by how many times the word “boobies” has been uttered during the duration of the conversation. You can’t blame her, the word has practically lost all meaning for you as well.

Steve, however, can’t seem to get enough of it. “It’s boobies!” He exclaims again to no one in particular.

You and Robin lock eyes, and then, without saying anything, your hand covers Steve’s mouth while Robin flicks his forehead, effectively putting the boob conversation to an end. 

– 

The moment Steve’s BMW slows in front of the school, Robin throws the door open and rushes out with a quick “see you later!” to you as she runs to follow after her bandmates. Steve waves weakly as she goes and sighs in disappointment.

“She’s never talking to Vickie, is she?”

“Not a chance,” you sigh as well, watching as Robin’s figure disappears in the crowd of students. Spring break looms over the student body, everyone buzzes with excitement over their week of freedom and tonight’s basketball game. The pep rally in just a few short minutes only adds to the exhilaration. Leaning forward, your lips graze against Steve’s. “Anyways, see you tonight?”

He bridges the gap between your lips, skin meets skin and warmth floods your stomach. “Of course, angel. I love you.”

“I love you, too, honey.” And with one last kiss, you exit Steve’s car and make your way towards the school. As always, Steve waits until you’re safely on the sidewalk before he pulls away and heads towards Family Video. He’s started picking up morning shifts to fill the time he isn’t with you.

On your way inside, you see Ms. Kelly talking to Max near the buses. The conversation is short, doesn’t last much longer than a few seconds, and when Max turns away you notice Ms. Kelly’s patient smile drop. Clearly Max still isn’t being cooperative when it comes to their sessions. She promised you she would start trying, but Max Mayfield has always been stubborn and you’ve always been slightly overbearing.

Not the best combination, honestly.

With a sigh, you make a mental note to ask Max about what the counselor talked to her about later. There’s too much going on this morning to focus on it, and you’re already pushing Max by having her attend the pep rally anyways. Originally she had wanted to skip it and hide in the stairwell, but after begging her about it, Max finally agreed.

The conversation can wait. For now, at least she’ll be next to you in the bleachers alongside the boys to cheer on Lucas.

The thought was enough to brighten your mood a little, but it quickly became a pain in the ass to corral the party into sitting together. It took you almost fifteen minutes to find Mike and Dustin in the mass of students heading into the gym. You’re not necessarily sure how it took so goddamn long given the fact that Mike towers over half of the students anyways. He’s grown freakishly tall since starting freshman year. It unnerves you. 

While his towering height annoys you, Mike likes that he can finally, literally, look down on you. 

“There you guys are!” You grab the back of Mike’s shirt and he lets out a startled yelp. Dustin stumbles back as well, and an annoyed sophomore glares at the three of you. Ignoring her, you grab your brother’s shirt and start dragging the two boys towards the bleachers. “Thought we agreed on meeting at the water fountain that squirts water in your face?”

“I thought it was the library?” Dustin gives you an odd look. “Wait, is there even a water fountain in the library?”

“You amaze me.” You remark, not even bothering to answer his question. He listens like a bag of rocks. Mike just allows you to pull him, not at all contributing to the conversation.

Max waits for you in the bleachers. She’s saved you seats, something that you feel slight relief over. The simple gesture is small, but it sparks just enough hope within your chest to make you exhale softly. Hope that she’s getting better. Hope that she’s finally trying again.

Thanking Max, you and the others fill the seats as the gym quickly fills with more and more students until it threatens to overflow. The roar of the crowd is nearly deafening. Across from the bleachers resides the marching band. They’re playing the school’s anthem as the cheerleaders start their routine. Chrissy Cunningham leads them, her smile lovely and beautiful, she shines so brightly upon the crowd that you can’t help but fall in love with her.

In the midst of the cheerleaders’ twists and flips, Robin manages to catch your eye from across the room.

You eagerly wave at her and mime playing the trumpet, copying her movements as she actually plays one. Robin laughs, and next to her is a girl with fiery red hair who laughs as well. She’s pretty, you’ve heard countless sonnets about her red hair and dotted freckles. Knowing the girl is Vickie, you point at her as you wink at Robin, who scoffs and goes back to playing the trumpet. 

Next to you, you catch the tail end of some bizarre conversation between Mike and Dustin.

“Look, I’m not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours.” Dustin is clarifying, glaring at you when he hears your sarcastic snort. “It’s just that Suzie’s, like, a certified genius.”

Mike crosses his arms, looking towards you as if somehow this is all your fault. “Your brother realizes that El saved the world twice, right?”

“Admittedly that is hard to beat,” you shrug. “That, and she has cool powers.”

Dustin points a finger at the two of you. “And yet Mike still has a C in Spanish while you’re barely passing calculus.”

Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug again. Your brother isn’t necessarily wrong either. El’s saved the world, Suzie has saved his GPA. Both are nearly impossible feats. “Touchy subject, but touché.”

“And what can your boyfriend do, Y/N?” Mike asks, now bringing the attention to your love life.

“He’s good with a bat.”

Both Dustin and Mike groan, but you shush them when the school’s broadcaster announces the Tigers basketball team. Applause breaks out across the bleachers and you notice Max looking around for Lucas. Though she tries to hide it, you can see the interest and excitement in her eyes. She’s happy for him, but it breaks your heart that she feels that she can’t show it.

Jason Carver, captain of the basketball team and former Scoops Ahoy patron before Steve spilled ice cream all over his pants, runs out first. The crowd goes wild, but you don’t start cheering until you see Lucas. He’s smiling wide, proud to be a part of the team. You scream as loud as you can for him, he’s come so far since confessing to you about wanting to join the team earlier this year. As Jason starts his speech, dramatic as he always is, Lucas sees you in the bleachers and waves shyly, a blush creeping across his face. Then, seeing Max next to you, his confidence seems to grow as he waves more enthusiastically at her. 

The moment is sweet, it makes you smile. 

Except Max doesn’t wave back. She crosses her arms, pretends she hasn’t seen him, and your smile drops alongside Lucas’. 

You know they’ve been having some trouble recently. With Max pulling away more and more each day, Lucas struggled to hold onto the fading girl. Despite his pleas and reassurances, Max still seems to be icing him out. According to Dustin, they broke up almost a month ago now. 

But they’ve always had a tumultuous relationship, long before nightmares and monsters darkened everything. The news hadn’t worried you at first, you thought it was simply another one of their weekly breakups over something small, innocent. Afterall, they were just kids when they first started dating. Their breakups were always childish, though endearing, and always temporary. 

Now, you’re scared that this time it’s permanent. 

You’re not sure what that means for Max. She already has so few people left in her life to tether her. Billy died, her mother works two jobs and is never home anymore, El is in California, and you and Lucas are breaking skin trying to claw onto whatever small hold you have left of the girl.

Another loud cheer from the crowd breaks you from your thoughts. Jason must’ve just said something important, something worthy enough of a roaring reaction. He’s always been popular in Hawkins, Steve used to complain about him to you back when he was still on the team. But when Steve graduated and Billy died, Hawkins High had needed a new King to crown.

Jason Carver was more than happy to ascend the throne. 

“Chrissy, I love you, babe.” Everyone awes and you see Chrissy blow Jason a kiss. It’s sweet, you suppose. They fit together nicely, head cheerleader with the star of the basketball team, and they seem genuinely happy. Chrissy’s shy and kind demeanor balances Jason’s loud and charismatic boldness. They truly are a good match. 

“I think I can speak for all of us when I say it’s been a tough year for Hawkins.” Jason continues his speech, the room is eerily silent as everyone listens with baited breath. “So much loss…” The gym almost exhales simultaneously, remembering all the people who died last summer.

Your own breath exhales, and beside you Max tenses. Billy’s ghost floats through your minds, in through hers and out through yours. Hopper’s own ghost follows after him, only he doesn’t haunt Max the way he haunts you. He lingers over you, his final words to you engraved into your skin. 

You’re the best of them.

“And sometimes I wonder, how much loss can one community take?”

Enough to fill a mall of burning bodies, you think bitterly. 

Jason paces the gym’s floor now, he almost seems to glow before the crowd. He rambles on about needing something to believe in. That everyone should be doing something to honor all the lives lost in July, that playing basketball can absolve all the despair. As if it can bring them back.

Deep below your ribcage, nestled right underneath your scar and just in front of your stomach, rests a pit of anger that always simmers. You were born with it, it has always followed you. It has grown with you, the anger almost possessed your body when your dad left. Now, hearing Jason recite all the names of the ones who died that Fourth of July, the anger’s low simmer heats into a soft boil. 

You try to quell it. Jason means well, he’s only trying to uplift the community in a passionate, albeit uncomfortably pastor-y way. He’s only doing what he knows best; he’s being a leader. In another life, one where Demogorgons never harmed you, you think you would’ve really admired Jason and his resilience. 

“Think of Billy,” Your breath stills, yet your hand instinctively finds Max’s. She turns away from you, but the room is spinning and you can’t remember how to inhale. But Jason keeps going. “Think about our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper.”

Next to you, in your haze of grief and panic, you think you can feel Mike and Dustin shift uncomfortably. Grief sinks her claws into the kids, and you want nothing more than to puncture Jason’s lungs with them. 

This was supposed to be a pep rally for the Tigers, it was supposed to be joyous, an opportunity to bring Max out of her shell. To distract her from the hell that she calls her life. The entire school knows what happened to Billy, they know that he had a little sister named Max Mayfield.

You hate Jason Carver.

But you’re here for Lucas. Today is about him. He’s finally happy, he’s smiling again. The least you can do is swallow down the anger and grief and hope that you don’t end up choking on them later. That they don’t strangle you in your dreams.

“And now tonight, we’re gonna bring home the championship trophy!” Jason screams into the mic, erupting a volcanic roar from the stadium. People throw paper into the air, whistling and jumping up and down at the prospect of Hawkins High finally winning a championship.

“Tonight?” Dustin’s agonized exclamation causes you to jump. He looks at you, bewildered and panicked. “How is that possible?”

Your heart still hasn’t steadied from the surge of fury Jason evoked. Swallowing once again, you clear your throat and shake your head at your brother. “What, you guys didn’t know about the game tonight?”

“They call it a tournament,” Max explains for you, figuring you need some time to clear your head. You squeeze her hand appreciatively. “You win one game, you go on until there’s only one team left.”

Mike and Dustin exchange frightened looks, and you eye them suspiciously. “Did you guys really not know? I thought Steve explained all of this to you already. Why is it such a big deal, anyways? I mean–wait,” the boys won’t meet your gaze. They avoid facing you, Mike stuffs his hands into his pockets and Dustin pretends to read someone’s poster. 

You know the fearful look on their faces. It’s the same look Dustin gave you this morning when he ditched you to ride with Nancy and Mike. 

Goddamn Eddie Munson. 

“Oh, don’t you guys dare.” They wouldn’t. They wouldn’t fucking dream of missing one of Lucas’ games for a stupid club centered around some guy with enormous ego problems. “I swear to God, if you two skip the game tonight–”

“We won’t! I-I mean… Well. It’s, uh. It’s complicated” Dustin gulps, elbowing his way through the crowd of departing students as the pep rally ends. Mike follows, ready to step in at any moment, while Max slips away before you can stop her. Seeing how contorted your body is from anger, Dustin tries to appease you. “Look, I can’t promise anything, alright? Eddie is… Eddie.”

You’re about to scream some very choice words about that curly haired emo asshole, but Lucas intercepts the group and joins you guys. He looks between you, Mike, and Dustin, sensing some underlying tension. “What about Eddie?”

Mike quickly explains, and the more he talks, the more you want to shove your knives down Eddie’s throat. It’s one night, one goddamn night, and here Mike and Dustin are, almost shitting their pants at the idea of missing one Hellfire meeting to support their friend. While it’s unfortunate that all of this is happening on the same night, and though you recognize how long a campaign can take and how much the game means to the party, for once you can’t bring yourself to understand Dustin’s side. 

A championship game versus one single campaign meeting that can easily be done tomorrow instead.

Seems like a pretty easy decision to you. 

Lucas doesn’t understand why Mike and Dustin are so conflicted either. “I don’t get the big deal.” You’re all outside now, heading towards the main building for your classes. “Just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire to another night.”

You nod, agreeing with him, and Dustin rolls his eyes. “‘Just talk to Eddie.’”

“You can’t be serious right now,” your shoulder brushes harshly against the boy’s. You’re barely containing your anger right now. “Why does Eddie have such a strong hold over you guys? Hasn’t he repeated senior year twice now?”

“Why does that matter?” Mike looks at you as if you’re the scum of the earth that he just so happened to step on. “Why can’t Lucas just talk to his coach and get him to move the game?”

Dustin quips that he thinks Mike’s idea is a great one, but you shove between them and throw your hands in the air in annoyance. “You can’t possibly think that’s the same thing, right? A nationally organized game being postponed for a board game.”

Mike and Dustin both gasp at you, acting as if you’ve just threatened to kill a baby bunny in front of them, which only annoys you more. Sure, maybe you’re being a little mean right now, but you’re not appreciating how they’re treating Lucas. He’s never done anything to warrant this blatant disrespect from them. They’re refusing to see his side, too lost in their Eddie induced high. 

“DnD isn’t just a board game, Y/N! I’m honestly disappointed that you of all people would even say that. You’ve seen the intricacies of a campaign. You know I’ve spent all month now preparing for the end of Eddie’s campaign!” Dustin waves his hands in front of him, he’s in his own ecstasy of anger and annoyance, something innate in the Henderson bloodline. “A semester of adventuring has led to this moment, and we need Lucas.”

“Yeah, and the Tigers don’t.” Mike looks over at Lucas. “I mean, no offense, but you’ve been on the bench all year–shit!”

You swat the back of Mike’s head, the sound of his yelp satisfying and the sting of the hit soothes you. He looks at you, offended, and you just shake your head at him. “No, that was out of line and you know it.”

“One day I’m gonna be too tall for you to hit me, you know.” Mike scowls at you as he rubs his head. 

“And I’ll mourn the day when that happens,” you respond dryly before pointing at Lucas. “Now, apologize to him before I hit you again.”

Lucas lowers your finger and shakes his head. “It’s fine, Y/N. Me being on the bench isn’t the point, anyways.”

“Please, arrive at the point.” Your brother drops his head back and closes his eyes. He’s tired, he regrets even starting this conversation in the first place. The more the four of you talk, the angrier he can feel you become. Mike’s head may now be sore, but Dustin lives with you. If anyone here is in danger of your lecturing, it’s him.

“If I get in good with these guys, I’ll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.” Lucas explains, looking between Dustin and Mike as he urges them to understand, but they don’t. Mike claims that they don’t want to be popular, something that Lucas doesn’t believe. “What, you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?”

“We are nerds and freaks!” Dustin exclaims, causing a few students in the hall to look at you guys. You wave at them awkwardly, you’re starting to regret following the boys. This conversation feels personal, like you shouldn’t be intruding. Though you think Lucas has every right to want a good high school experience, you also think Mike and Dustin deserve to have their own experiences as well. If they don’t want to be popular, then that’s their decision just as much as it’s Lucas’ to want to be. 

You step between the three boys, finally getting their attention. “Guys, no one here is necessarily right or wrong. Lucas has every right to want to be a part of the basketball crowd, and you two,” you raise your eyebrows at Mike and Dustin, “have every right to want to stick with Eddie’s crowd.”

Dustin sighs, “thanks, Y/N–”

“I’m not finished,” you hold a hand up and shush your brother. “What isn’t right, however, is abandoning one another. You guys are friends, and right now Lucas wants you at his game tonight to support him. Tonight is special, everyone will be there, and I want you guys there as well. I know high school is hard, but it’s even harder when you’re alone.”

“Says the girl who is adored by everyone in this shitty town.” Mike huffs, he can’t believe how hypocritical you’re being. “You’ve never had to deal with what we do. No one has ever laughed at you or tried to make you jump off a cliff just because you’re different.”

You clench your jaw. Dustin looks at you wearily, he doesn’t like what Mike is saying, but he also can’t help but agree with his friend. You haven’t ever been bullied. All your life you’ve blended in, stood out only when you were kind to others, admired for your selflessness, but never enough to be invited to parties or dumped behind a dumpster.

“Mike…” Your brother tries to pull him away from you, but you both stand your ground.

“You’re right, Wheeler. I don’t know what it’s like.” You stare up at the boy, and Mike’s expression softens only slightly. He’s just as stubborn as you are, it’s why the two of you admire the other so much. “But you forget that I’m Jonathan’s best friend. The creep, the loser, the psychopath. Kids may not have ever targeted me, but I’ve seen what they do to the people they hate.”

All the times you had to ice Jonathan’s bruised face. The nights you spent in his room holding him as he cried because Lonnie’s fists and Tommy’s cruel words were too much. The sneers, the stares Jonathan received because he was different. Quiet. Being your best friend hadn’t lessened the blows. 

For years you wish you could’ve done more for Jonathan. Now, presented with Lucas’ opportunity to befriend the crowd that once was so cruel to your friend, you refuse to lose it. “That’s why I don’t want Lucas skipping the game tonight.”

It’s silent for a few moments, all three boys don’t know what to say. Taking a deep breath, Lucas stands beside you and breaks the silence. “We came to high school wanting things to be different, right? Now we have that chance. Like Y/N said, if I skip tonight, that’s all out the window. So I’m asking you guys, as a friend, just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire.”

Lucas pauses, he wets his lips and looks between his friends again. He feels so small, pleading for their attention. “Come to my game. Please.”

The bell rings, ending the conversation, and Lucas spares one last look at Dustin and Mike before mumbling a soft goodbye to you. He leaves you alone with the boys, who in turn mirror conflicted expressions. 

“Shit!” Dustin kicks his foot out and looks at you. “This is all your fault, you know that?”

“What is?”

“Me having empathy. I hate this. Why couldn’t you have raised me to be an asshole?”

You snort at Dustin before pulling him into a weak hug. You only have a few more minutes before you need to get to class, you can’t stay very long, but you also don’t want to leave the boys without some semblance of comfort. “You’re too charming to be an asshole. Just… Come to the game, alright? Both of you. I’ll even make brownies if I have to. I just-I’ve missed you guys. This will be good for all of us.”

Mike ducks his head and Dustin sighs once more. Neither want to say anything else, so you reluctantly release your brother and leave them alone to wallow in their self-created misery. 

They’ll do the right thing. You’re sure of it.

– 

Lunch comes and Alex sits next to you. He started sitting with you at lunch just after winter break, and you’re endlessly grateful for him. You’re no longer alone, and he’s good company. A part of you regrets that it took the two of you three years to grow your friendship outside of Bookstrorindary. 

You’ll miss him when you graduate. 

Max is with Ms. Kelly today, a change in their usual meeting schedule of Tuesdays and Thursdays, meaning you had been right. She did skip their meeting yesterday and the counselor had to corner her this morning to schedule another one. 

“Be honest, how excited are you to move to New York this summer?” Alex asks you, taking a bite out of his carrot stick. You’ve come to learn that he has a weird obsession with the vegetable, always packing at least twelve of them every day. 

You pick at your own lunch, a wilted salad and sandwich your mom left for you this morning. “Honestly? It hasn’t really hit me yet. I mean, I only got in last week. I think my mind is still trying to catch up with reality.”

“Oh, c’mon. You can’t tell me you’re not at least a little excited.”

“Okay, okay,” you laugh and nudge the boy. “I’m a little excited. I just.. Haven’t really had time to think too much about it, you know? Between work, my brother, Steve, the kids, and…”

“Jonathan?” Alex finishes for you. He’s the only one who knows about how distant Jonathan has been. You’ve confided in him about how worried you are, about the phone calls while he’s high and the way Jonathan’s voice no longer sounds like his. 

You shove your lunch away, no longer hungry. “Yeah.”

“You guys call every Friday, right? Maybe tonight will be different!” Alex tries to cut through the tension that now corrodes your demeanor, which you smile at him gratefully for. 

“Yeah, who knows.” A piece of hair falls in your face and you push it behind your ear. Picking up your fork again, you attempt to finish your meal, but a sudden commotion interrupts the low buzz in the lunchroom. 

“As long as you’re into band, or science, or parties.” Eddie Munson sneers from the cafeteria table he’s standing on. He looks around the room as if everyone else is beneath him. Not worth his time just because they enjoy different things. Looking at Alex, you both sigh and prepare for whatever Eddie has to say today. His voice grows louder, shouting across the room towards the basketball team’s table. “Or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!”

Jason stands up and a few students whoop and cheer. “You want something, freak?”

Eddie sticks to fingers up behind his head as he creates little devil horns, snarling with his tongue out and hissing. Jason grimaces, you do too. 

“He’s a little much, isn’t he?” You say to Alex, relieved when Eddie starts to step down from the table. 

“He terrifies me.” Alex breathes out, not taking his eyes off Eddie in fear he’ll somehow cast a spell on him.

You laugh at your friend’s unnecessary fear. Eddie is harmless, Hellfire isn’t a demonic cult like some students at Hawkins seem to think. It really is just a club centered around a board game with impressive storytelling and detailed plotlines. From what Dustin has told you, Eddie truly is the best dungeon master in Indiana. 

And while you believe him, you can’t wrap your head around why your brother idolizes Eddie so much. The fascination runs deeper than just DnD. Dustin has spent almost every day of his freshman year wrapped around Eddie’s finger. He spends all his time with the teen now, rarely with you, but you’re not bitter. Of course you’re not. Dustin can have his own friends, you know this, but you also feel so… unneeded. 

Your little brother doesn’t need you anymore, and it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Truthfully, Alex’s question earlier about moving to New York in the summer sparked more than just your usual anxiety over Jonathan. It also reminded you that in only a few short months you’ll be in an entirely new state, a new city, far away from Dustin. 

“Y/N!” Dustin flies into the seat next to you, nearly upending the table itself with how violently he throws himself down.

Alex shrieks and you steady the table before anything can fall. Heart pounding, you clutch at your chest as your nerves settle. “Why must you always be so violent?”

“Because it’s fun,” Dustin responds, not even bothering to acknowledge Alex’s presence. Instead, his eyes are only on you, and there’s a crazed spark in them. He’s breathing heavily, frantic, and you dread where this is going. “Look, I need to ask you a huge favor.”

“Do you realize that this is the first time you’ve sat with me at lunch since the first day?”

He winces. “And I will repent every day for my horrendous sins. I promise, I just–Jesus you’re terrifying when you don’t blink.” Dustin removes his hat to fix his hair, a nervous tick of his. He’s stalling, he should’ve never come here. Gulping, he rips the band aid off. “I need you to sub for Lucas tonight.”

“I’m sorry?” You’re giving him an out, one chance to back down before you strangle him.

Only Dustin tightens the noose even more. “Please, Y/N! Eddie won’t move the campaign. He said something about sheep and-and finding subs because Mike and I are, uh. I guess the future of Hellfire and he needs us and did I mention how important this campaign is? It’s super cool, super gory and totally up your alley and–”

“No.”

“N-no?” Dustin practically deflates in front of you, the light in his eyes dies. 

You shove him away from you, you don’t want to look at his pathetic pouting. You’re so unbelievably hurt right now, so fucking infuriated. “You have spent every goddamn waking hour ass kissing Eddie. You haven’t so much as looked at me during lunch this entire year as if I’m a fucking plague. You’ve canceled plans, you’re hardly ever home, and now you expect me to abandon Lucas, someone who has spent time with me this year, someone who has made this entire year less lonely for me. Something, by the way, that you haven’t even noticed, all because you finally need me?”

Dustin’s mouth opens and closes, he doesn’t know what to say, but for once you don’t care. How could he possibly think you’d miss Lucas’ game tonight? You adore the boys, each and every one of them, and now Dustin expects you to just abandon one of them for the others? 

“You’re only here because it’s convenient for you.” You hiss, venom pouring from your voice. “For Eddie.” 

“Y/N…” Dustin’s voice breaks, he sounds like a little kid again, the baby brother you doted on your entire life. “Please.”

“No!” You scream at him. 

The word echoes throughout the cafeteria. A few students turn to you, some curious, some annoyed. Alex draws into himself, wishing he were anywhere but here right now. Dustin’s eyes widen, his skin pales, and you clamp your hand over your mouth, completely and utterly mortified. 

You’ve never, ever yelled at Dustin like this before. Not with so much malice, vitriol. 

You feel like you’re twelve again, your anger hurting your baby brother. 

Red hot with embarrassment and shame, you quickly get up from the table and flee the cafeteria. Dustin calls after you, but you stumble through the hallway towards the nearest bathroom. Tears burn your eyes, guilt wracks your body in painful thuds. 

By the time you lock yourself in the bathroom’s stall, your sobs have begun to claw their way out of your throat. Pressing your back against the wall, you sink to the ground and pull your knees into your chest as you finally allow yourself to cry.

Abandonment makes you cruel. Your father taught you that.

– 

You don’t see Dustin for the rest of the day. He’s missing Lucas’ game and you’re angry with him for that, but you also feel such an intense guilt over your outburst. You can’t stomach the thought of seeing him. 

School ends and Steve drives you to work. The shift will be a short one due to the championship game, and Steve is staying with you so that you can drive to the game together. However, the moment you get into his car, he notices the dried tears on your face and the redness in your eyes and immediately throws his arms around you. In between shaky breaths and cries, you explain what happened to Steve.

He soothes you, tells you that you can always talk to Dustin after tonight’s game. Right now you and your brother need space from one another, and you hate that Steve’s right. You’ll force Dustin into a code blue, you’re long overdue for one, anyways. He’s been acting weird for weeks now. Someone has to give in, you know this, and if it has to be you then you’ll do anything to get your brother back. 

For now, Steve holds your hand as he guides you through the crowd of people in the bleachers. They all cheer for Hawkins High, the energy in the gym is electric. Faces are painted, cheerleaders wave their pom-poms, and you’re wearing Steve’s old Tigers jersey. You’re not much for school spirit, but Steve almost crashed the car when he realized you were wearing the jersey, and you know Lucas will appreciate it too.

“Y/N, over here.” Steve’s hand falls onto the small of your back as he gently pushes you towards some open seats he’s found. You lean into his touch and sit beside him. With his body against yours, you try to immerse yourself in the joy from the crowd. 

The entire town is here tonight. Everyone is smiling, kids laugh and parents wave posters for their sons. Tonight will be a good night, you’ve decided this to be true. 

The national anthem is announced and everyone rises in their seats. When the broadcaster announces that Tammy Thompson will be singing, you and Steve look at each other incredulously. Laughter rises within you and you cackle when Robin finds the two of you in the crowd. There’s no way this won’t end in disaster. 

Tammy walks out, wearing a horrendous faux cowboy outfit, and almost immediately sings off-key. You cringe, ears stinging from the attack, and try desperately not to let out any laughter as she continues to butcher the song. 

Steve whispers over to Robin, “told you. Muppet.”

“Okay, she does sound like a muppet.” Robin agrees, which only makes it harder to contain your giggles. Tammy is worse than a muppet, she sounds like a goddamn muppet that broke into her dad’s alcohol stash. 

“You sound better, angel.” Steve whispers into your ear, breath warm against your skin. 

You lean back against him and smile sarcastically. “Anyone can sound better than her.”

Steve chuckles and you can’t help but join him. You know it’s rude, that Tammy is honestly not that bad, though definitely not good enough for Nashville, but you can’t help it. You can’t believe Robin ever had such a huge crush on the girl who now drones the national anthem like a dying parrot. 

In between breaths of laughter, you see Lucas looking up at the bleachers. His face is grim, he doesn’t see Mike or Dustin or Max. None of his friends showed up, and you watch him with sympathy. You can’t believe them. 

But then Lucas sees you, and he gives you a weak smile. Your attendance isn’t enough, you know it isn’t, but you hold up the poster you made for him and he laughs despite himself. 

The game starts, and from the moment the whistle is blown, it’s intense. The Tigers are neck and neck with the Falcons. Steve tries to explain what’s happening throughout the game, but it all goes over your head. The energy in the room is intoxicating, though. You lean forward in your seat, you cheer when everyone else does, boo when you think you should.

“Carver just loves hogging the spotlight, doesn’t he?” Steve says with disdain as he watches Jason side sweep his teammates to score. 

You poke his side, you know he’s only saying this because he’s still bitter that Jaosn tried asking you out last summer. “Honey, your jealousy is showing.” 

Steve tries to deny this, but then a player gets injured during a foul from Falcon, causing you and Steve to both spew insults at the player. You have no idea what the foul even is, but you’re enjoying the chaos of the game.

In the midst of your uproar, you almost miss Lucas being sent into the game. You slap Steve’s chest repeatedly to get his attention, you almost don’t believe what you’re seeing. “Steve! Is that–”

“Sinclair!” He whoops, but he quickly scrambles to catch you as you nearly throw yourself off the bleachers in your blind excitement cheering. You’re screaming your head off, hardly even registering Steve’s hands on your waist. You’re incoherent and ecstatic, drunk on adrenaline. 

Lucas is playing.

The game only gets more brutal from there. The points even out, both teams neck and neck. Anxious, you squeeze Steve’s hand with anticipation. Everything happens so fast, Lucas plays so naturally with the others, as if he was born to be there. 

“Go, Tigers!” You jump up and down as Lucas runs after Jason. They’re doing a new play, attempting to score the tie breaker. Jason shoots, the ball hits off the backboard and onto the rim. Your breath catches, there’s only three seconds left on the clock. The ball falls, and there isn’t any time left.

Until Lucas catches the missed shot. He dribbles the ball, you clutch Steve’s hand, neither one of you utters a single word as Lucas makes the final shot. It’s an all or nothing throw, a risk, but he takes it anyways. The ball soars through the air, hits the rim. The buzzer sounds, the game is over, and the ball spins around the rim before finally sinking through the net.

Your chest burns as you violently cheer, Steve flings himself into your arms. You’re both jumping around, screaming together like little kids. “Hey did it!” You scream, and Steve shakes you in his arms with the biggest smile on his face.

“Sinclair did it!”

Down below, Lucas’ face lights up as the crowd goes wild for him. This is the happiest you’ve seen the kid in so long. The entire basketball team swarms Lucas, they lift him into the air and you cheer alongside them.

Steve tells you he’ll go warm the car up and you practically run outside to find Lucas as soon as the game is done. Your body buzzes, you’re still breathless with exhilaration. When you find Lucas, he’s just left the crowd of teenage boys. Wanting to surprise him, you creep up slowly before throwing your arms from behind him. “There’s the star!”

He stumbles from your weight, but he knows it’s you. Laughing, he turns around and you pull him into a bone crushing hug. “You came!”

“Of course I did, you moron!” You giggle, pulling away to straighten his jacket. “I made you a poster and everything.”

Lucas looks down at the poster that hangs by your side. His eyes light up, he remembers seeing it in the stands at the beginning of the game, but he hadn’t been able to read it from so far away. “Can I see it?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t want to see it.” You unroll the poster and present it with a grand flourish. “Tada!” 

Sin to win, Sinclair!

You’re incredibly proud of the wordplay, and Lucas chuckles. It’s good, he has to admit. You’ve left no white space on the poster, littering with small 8’s for his jersey and millions of small stickers and decorations. The poster was made with love, and Lucas knows you spent hours making it.

“I love it, Y/N.” He does. It will hang on his wall as soon as he gets home.

You beam at him. Then, from behind you, you hear your brother’s own cheers as a door opens. Lucas’ smile fades, hurt creeps upon his face. Frowning, you turn and find Dustin and Mike high fiving their Hellfire friends as they all celebrate the end of their campaign. Erica is with them, cheering with everyone else. 

“Lucas…” Your breath gives out. He doesn’t deserve this. Tonight was supposed to be his night. You turn to him, wracking your brain to try and figure out what you’re even supposed to say at this moment. Fifty feet away Lucas’ close friends are celebrating a night without him, his sister overjoyed as well. They’ve forgotten about him.

For once, you can’t find the right words to say.

“Thanks for the poster, Y/N.” Lucas doesn’t want your sympathy. He leaves, crestfallen, and you’re left standing alone holding the poster he had been praising seconds ago. The late March air chills your bones. 

You’ve never been so disappointed in your brother before.

– 

Steve drives you home and you’re silent the entire time. 

“Dustin isn’t a bad kid, Y/N. You know that.” Steve tries to reason with you, but what your brother has done tonight leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. “I’m sure by tomorrow he’ll realize he was a jerk and apologize. He always does, he’s just being a stupid teen boy right now.”

You face the window, watching the trees fading into the distance. You know Steve is right, you know that Dustin is still growing up, making mistakes. Hell, no one is perfect at fifteen. When you were his age you were falling in love with your best friend as you hunted monsters together. Neither you or Jonathan or Nancy knew what the hell you guys were doing back then.

But this is different. Dustin has never betrayed his friends like this before. He, out of all of them, should understand the pain of being left behind. He spent half the summer upset that the party ditched him, and now he’s ditching Lucas?

“You know, I used to be a stupid teen boy.” Steve says, trying again to get you to say something. To look at him, at least.

It works, a small smile turns your lips. “I never knew.”

He laughs at the sarcasm in your voice, but he plays along anyways. “Oh, I totally was. I just hid it really well by, you know, making you hate me for a while by being annoying. But hey, look at me now! I’m still annoying, but at least I have it all figured out with you.”

“And what do you have figured out, honey?” You turn your head towards him, watch the street lamps illuminate his face.

Steve smiles. “Us. Our future. Sure, I may not know if I’ll ever get a better job, but I’m sure as shit staying with you, starting a life together so that I can annoy you for all eternity.”

“How romantic,” a giggle falls from your lips. You’ve been with Steve for nearly a year now, but you haven’t really talked about the future yet. At least not so intimately, with so much assurance that in the end it’ll be the two of you. “And where will we live, Romeo?”

“New York, obviously. As soon as you graduate, we’ll find some horrible, run down apartment that’s barely big enough for two people. We’ll move in, but there won’t be any air conditioning so we’ll almost murder each other in the heat. Everyone will hate the place, but we’ll love it.”

As Steve talks, the smile that had once been on your face begins to fade. He rambles on, not noticing the shift. He dreams up the plans, how he’ll stay home while you go to class. How he’ll fix the leaky faucet that will inevitably annoy everyone. Steve envisions himself waiting for you to come home after a long day of classes and falling into his arms. 

“Steve–” But he doesn’t hear you. He’s busy explaining how he’ll probably have to sell his car to afford the apartment, but that he doesn’t care, and you feel sick. It’s too much, he’s giving up too much. He’s willing to give up his entire life for you, drop everything and follow you without any questions asked. 

It’s what your mother did for your father. They met in college, both attending Purdue. Their relationship had been a whirlwind. Love at first sight, married as soon as they graduated, your father convinced your mom to follow him back to Virginia. To abandon her family and move two states over while pregnant with you. She didn’t know anyone in Virginia, her father moved them to a small town where only his name was known. 

The divorce that followed twelve years later ruined your mother’s life. She had been left all alone, no family to support her, no friends, in a state she never grew up in.

And now Steve wants to do the same for you.

Raising your voice slightly, you try to interrupt him again. “Steve!”

“What?” He looks over at you, words finally dying. “Do you want to keep the car?”

“You… you can’t.” 

Steve frowns. “I can’t what?”

Your hands shake. Your heart trembles. Your words die in your throat. There’s so much you want to say, you can feel the pit in your stomach build into a fist. You can’t let Steve do this. He doesn’t understand that he deserves more than this. “You-you can’t come to New York.”

Everything stills. You don’t dare to breathe, to disrupt the silence. Your words come out all wrong, you know they do, but they’re out in the open and Steve doesn’t look at you as he pulls into your driveway. Silent, he turns the car’s engine off.

“Y/N…” Steve still can’t look at you. He places his hands on the steering wheel, as if bracing himself for whatever will unfold tonight. He’s scared, he doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong. His mind flashes, and for a brief second he’s back at the Halloween party and you’re Nancy in his passenger seat. “Do you not see a future with me?”

“I do!” You sit up in your seat, reach over to touch Steve’s thigh. You need to feel him, to ground yourself to him. Everything about this feels wrong. As if you’re hanging over the edge of a chasm with a long, long fall. “God, of course I see a future with you, I just-this isn’t what you really want.”

Steve doesn’t want to move to New York, even if he doesn’t realize it now. What he’s really doing is chasing after a dream that isn’t his. The timing of this is off, he fought with his dad this morning about a future he was unsure of. You know Steve, maybe even better than he knows himself; he’s not doing it for your relationship or out of love. Steve only wants to appease his father, fulfill whatever desire he thinks you have. This isn’t what he wants, and he’s worked too hard to build the life he has now, without you, to simply throw it all away.

But he can’t see that right now.

“Of course this is what I want, Y/N! All I want is you.” Steve finally looks at you, but there’s a hardness in his eyes. He’s detaching himself from you, putting his walls up. “You and me, that’s what I want.”

You grab his hand, you try to keep your voice calm. “Steve, I love you so, so much, but I can’t-I can’t let you give everything up for me. Your life is here, in Hawkins. You have a job, you have your friends and-and your family, and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us if you abandon it for me. You could-you could resent me for it later, you could realize you hate our life and wish you never followed me and–”

“Y/N, what did you think was going to happen when you were applying to all those colleges?” Steve runs a hand through his hair, he thought you were beside him this whole time. He assumed you’d been carving out the same future he had been. But he was wrong. “Did you really think I’d just stay behind and wait for you to come home every break?”

“I…” Shamefully, you hadn't been considering what would happen between you and Steve. In your mind, he was your future, he was in it, but the details were hazy. You weren’t sure how, or why, or when, but you knew that in the end, Steve was the person you’d spend forever with. 

Steve takes your hesitancy as his answer. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Steve–”

“You were just going to leave me.”

He tears his hand from yours and you blink back tears. You’ve never fought with him before, not like this. “I wasn’t just going to leave you! I just-Steve, please just listen!”

“I am, Y/N!” Steve exclaims, voice reverberating the car. You flinch away, and he immediately lowers his voice, apologetic. He hadn’t meant to scare you, he hadn’t meant to make you cry. Ashamed, Steve turns away from you. “I-I’m sorry.” 

He wants to wipe the tears he’s caused, but selfishly he also wants you to hurt like he’s hurting. You don’t see a future with Steve. You were going to leave him just like everyone else does. 

Steve should’ve known all of this was too good to be true. 

“I love you,” your voice is almost inaudible, the three words barely reach the light before they disappear into the dark night. You’re not sure why you say them, the words had built in your chest, the pressure heavy, and you needed to release them. To remind Steve of your oath to him. 

Silence fills the car. Steve doesn’t look at you, his shoulders are drawn together. His jaw clenches and you know he’s trying desperately to bite his tongue, withholding the cruel words that only heartbreak can provoke. 

“Honey,” you beg him to say something, anything. “Steve.”

“I think you should go.”

The dismissal punches your throat, knocks the wind out of you. He’s shutting you out, closing himself off from you, and you don’t understand how the two of you got here. “I… Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Steve’s words are cool, composed. Indifferent, almost. He still doesn’t look at you, his eyes remain focused on something in your driveway. “It’s late, you should get some sleep.”

“Okay,” you don’t want to leave, you know it isn’t good to go to bed angry with the one you love. Anger should never simmer, it should never be left unwatched. But Steve is silently asking you to give him space so that he can hurt, and you aren’t selfish enough to deny his request. And yet you’re selfish enough to press your lips to Steve’s cheek, but he doesn’t lean in like how normally does. Instead, he remains stoic, and you swallow down your tears and open the door to leave. “Drive home safe, honey.”

Steve doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he starts the car as soon as the door is closed and drives away. He doesn't look back, he doesn’t wait to see if you’ve made it inside your house safely. 

Tears spill down your face as you blindly walk towards your front door. Your argument with Steve replays over and over again in your head. You analyze every second, every word, you try to understand when everything fell apart. 

It’s dark in your home, your mother is asleep and Dustin’s door is closed, but right now all you want is your brother. You need to talk to him, cry into his shoulder and smell the shampoo he’s used ever since he was a baby. Your feet carry you to Dustin’s room and you pound on his door, begging him to let you in. You don’t bother masking the tears in your voice, you’re too exhausted to hide them from him. “Dustin, please let me in.”

“Go away!” There’s a thud on the door, he’s thrown something at it to shut you up. He doesn’t want to hear some stupid lecture right now. He knows he was an asshole tonight, he regrets it, but right now all Dustin wants to do is sleep. He’ll deal with you tomorrow. 

“Code blue,” you press your forehead against the door, your tears fall to the ground. “C-code blue.” Your voice hiccups, more tears come, minutes pass, and your brother never answers.

For the first time since you were kids, Dustin rejects your request for a code blue. 

The phone rings. The sound pierces through your ears, cuts through the headache that is starting to form. It’s Friday night. Jonathan is calling. 

Squeezing your eyes shut as you head pounds, you inhale shakily. You have to answer him, otherwise he’ll only call over and over again with concern. You’ve never missed a phone call, not once in the months since Jonathan has moved, but tonight you’re exhausted. 

“Can we call tomorrow?” You’re too tired to greet him and voice cracks, revealing far too much already.

“Bug?” Jonathan’s high, he’s always high. And yet even in his cloudy haze of smoke he can hear the anguish in your voice. “Is everythin’ okay?”

His question only makes you cry more. You’ve always tried your best to put up a front for others, to pretend that everything is okay. You’ve never wanted to worry people, you’ve always pushed aside your own hurt for the sake of others. Now, as anger and grief and despair clasp their hands around your throat, you’re terrified you’ll suffocate. 

You’ve never been able to lie to Jonathan, and tonight you don’t think you can. “I’ve had… the worst night.” You confess to him, wiping away tears.

You tell him everything, your fight with Dustin, how you think he may resent you leaving for college. You tell Jonathan about Lucas, how you were so disappointed in Dustin and Mike. Choking through tears, you explain to Jonathan your fight with Steve. How your words failed you, how hurt he looked, that you can’t explain to him how he only wants his future to align with yours, but not with your relationship. 

Even though you know that Jonathan won’t remember any of this tomorrow, for once you’re grateful that he’s too high to remember anything. It feels good just being able to say it all out loud. 

“‘M sorry, bug.” Jonathan mumbles over the phone once you’ve finished explaining everything. He sounds far away, figuratively and literally. You can’t imagine how much his drugged mind retained, but you’re thankful to have gotten it all off your chest anyways. 

“It’s fine,” you inhale again, you’ve finally stopped crying, though your chest still hurts and your head still pounds. “Steve and I… We’ll figure it out.”

Jonathan pauses, and for a moment you think he’s fallen asleep, but then his voice floats through the telephone line. “Do you.. Do you ever wonder if we’ve made a mistake?”

He strings his words slowly together, says them one by one with a hesitancy, and you frown. You don’t understand what he’s trying to say. What mistakes could you have made together? “What do you mean, bee?”

“I just… everythin’ is so hard. With Nance. Feel like… like ‘m never enough for her. And you, Steve. ‘S hard between you guys.” Jonathan’s words slur, he’s almost too incoherent to understand, and later you will wish that you hadn’t been able to understand him at all. “But you ‘n me? ‘S easy. Always so easy.”

His words toe the line between you, he can’t mean any of it. You don’t want him to mean any of it, because then the fallout would be too catastrophic to contain.

He’s Jonathan. Your oldest, dearest friend. Your best friend. Years ago, you could’ve been something more, you almost were something more, but the time has passed. 

You’re with Steve now, you’re happy and so, so in love with him. Even though everything is tangled between you right now, even though you’re fighting, you know that you and Steve will figure it out. He’s the one. He’s the man you want to marry one day, if he’ll allow you to. 

Jonathan is your past, Steve is your future, and right now you’re terrified that soon you’ll lose them both.

“Jonathan,” you finally say, his name now heavy on your tongue. It feels like you’re betraying someone while saying his name, but you need to end this conversation. Before Jonathan says something he’ll regret in the morning. “You love Nancy, I love Steve, and you need to go to sleep.”

“Love you,” Jonathan’s words slur even more, his voice drifting off. “You, always you…”

You slam the phone done, ending the call, as a chill runs down your spine. Silence encases you, the house is still. The strings and threads from years ago constrict around your throat. You choke on the lines Jonathan has crossed tonight, the tightness in your head stabs against your skull. 

There is no one to hear you, no one there to hear your final words to your best friend. “Goodbye, Jonathan.”

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ i am no longer doing a taglist, my apologies ! however, please feel free to like, reblog, and comment instead :)

[vaspider]

In defense of retellings & reimaginings

I'm not going to respond to the post that sparked this, because honestly, I don't really feel like getting in an argument, and because it's only vaguely even about the particular story that the other post discussed. The post in question objected to retellings of the Rape of Persephone which changed important elements of the story -- specifically, Persephone's level of agency, whether she was kidnapped, whether she ate seeds out of hunger, and so on. It is permissible, according to this thesis, to 'fill in empty spaces,' but not to change story elements, because 'those were important to the original tellers.' (These are acknowledged paraphrases, and I will launch you into the sun if you nitpick this paragraph.)

I understand why to the person writing that, that perspective is important, and why they -- especially as a self-described devotee of Persephone -- feel like they should proscribe boundaries around the myth. It's a perfectly valid perspective to use when sorting -- for example -- which things you choose to read. If you choose not to read anything which changes the elements which you feel are important, I applaud you.

However, the idea that one should only 'color in missing pieces,' especially when dealing with stories as old, multi-sourced, and fractional as ancient myths, and doing so with the argument that you shouldn't change things because those base elements were important to the people who originally crafted the stories, misses -- in my opinion -- the fundamental reason we tell stories and create myths in the first place.

Forgive me as I get super fucking nerdy about this. I've spent the last several years of my life wrestling with the concept of myths as storytelling devices, universality of myths, and why myths are even important at all as part of writing on something like a dozen books (a bunch of which aren't out yet) for a game centered around mythology. A lot of the stuff I've written has had to wrestle with exactly this concept -- that there is a Sacred Canon which cannot be disrupted, and that any disregard of [specific story elements] is an inexcusable betrayal.

Myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us as individuals, as social groups, and as a society. The elements we utilize or change, those things we choose to include and exclude when telling and retelling a story, tell us what's important to us.

I could sit down and argue over the specific details which change over the -- at minimum -- 1700 years where Persephone/Kore/Proserpina was actively worshiped in Greek and Roman mystery cults, but I actually don't think those variations in specific are very important. What I think is important, however, is both the duration of her cults -- at minimum from 1500 BCE to 200CE -- and the concept that myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us.

The idea that there was one, or even a small handful, of things that were most important to even a large swath of the people who 'originally' told the store of the Rape of Persephone or any other 'foundational' myth of what is broadly considered 'Western Culture,' when those myths were told and retold in active cultic worship for 1700 years... that seems kind of absurd to me on its face. Do we have the same broad cultural values as the original tellers of Beowulf, which is only (heh) between 1k-1.3k years old? How different are our marital traditions, our family traditions, and even our language? We can, at best, make broad statements, and of inclusive necessity, those statements must be broad enough as to lose incredible amounts of specificity. In order to make definitive, specific statements, we must leave out large swaths of the people to whom this story, or any like it, was important.

To move away from the specific story brought up by the poster whose words spun this off, because it really isn't about that story in particular, let's use The Matter of Britain/Arthuriana as our framing for the rest of this discussion. If you ask a random nerd on Tumblr, they'd probably cite a handful of story elements as essential -- though of course which ones they find most essential undoubtedly vary from nerd to nerd -- from the concept that Camelot Always Falls to Gawain and the Green Knight, Percival and the grail, Lancelot and Guinevere...

... but Lancelot/Guinevere and Percival are from Chrétien de Troyes in the 12th century, some ~500 years after Taliesin's first verses. Lancelot doesn't appear as a main character at all before de Troyes, and we can only potentially link him to characters from an 11th century story (Culhwch and Olwen) for which we don't have any extant manuscripts before the 15th century. Gawain's various roles in his numerous appearances are... conflicting characterizations at best.

The point here is not just that 'the things you think are essential parts of the story are not necessarily original,' or that 'there are a lot of different versions of this story over the centuries,' but also 'what you think of as essential is going to come back to that first thesis statement above.' What you find important about The Matter of Britain, and which story elements you think can be altered, filed off or filled in, will depend on what that story needs to tell you about yourself and what's important to you.

Does creating a new incarnation of Arthur in which she is a diasporic lesbian in outer space ruin a story originally about Welsh national identity and chivalric love? Does that disrespect the original stories? How about if Arthur is a 13th century Italian Jew? Does it disrespect the original stories if the author draws deliberate parallels between the seduction of Igerne and the story of David and Bathsheba?

Well. That depends on what's important to you.

Insisting that the core elements of a myth -- whichever elements you believe those to be -- must remain static essentially means 'I want this myth to stagnate and die.' Maybe it's because I am Jewish, and we constantly re-evaluate every word in Torah, over and over again, every single year, or maybe it's because I spend way, way too much time thinking about what's valuable in stories specifically because I write words about these concepts for money, but I don't find these arguments compelling at all, especially not when it comes to core, 'mainstream' mythologies. These are tools in the common toolbox, and everybody has access to them.

More important to me than the idea that these core elements of any given story must remain constant is, to paraphrase Dolly Parton, that a story knows what it is and does it on purpose. Should authors present retellings or reimaginings of the Rape of Persephone or The Matter of Britain which significantly alter historically-known story elements as 'uncovered' myths or present them as 'the real and original' story? Absolutely not. If someone handed me a book in which the new Grail was a limited edition Macklemore Taco Bell Baja Blast cup and told me this comes directly from recently-discovered 6th century writings of Taliesin, I would bonk them on the head with my hardcover The Once & Future King. Of course that's not the case, right?

But the concept of canon, historically, in these foundational myths has not been anything like our concept of canon today. Canon should function like a properly-fitted corset, in that it should support, not constrict, the breath in the story's lungs. If it does otherwise, authors should feel free to discard it in part or in whole.

Concepts of familial duty and the obligation of marriage don't necessarily resonate with modern audiences the way that the concept of self-determination, subversion of unreasonable and unjustified authority, and consent do. That is not what we, as a general society, value now. If the latter values are the values important to the author -- the story that the author needs to tell in order to express who they are individually and culturally and what values are important to them* -- then of course they should retell the story with those changed values. That is the point of myths, and always has been.

Common threads remain -- many of us move away from family support regardless of the consent involved in our relationships, and life can be terrifying when you're suddenly out of the immediate reach and support of your family -- because no matter how different some values are, essential human elements remain in every story. It's scary to be away from your mother for the first time. It's scary to live with someone new, in a new place. It's intimidating to find out that other people think you have a Purpose in life that you need to fulfill. It's hard to negotiate between the needs of your birth family and your chosen family.

None of this, to be clear, is to say that any particular person should feel that they need to read, enjoy, or appreciate any particular retelling, or that it's cool, hip and groovy to misrepresent your reworking of a myth as a 'new secret truth which has always been there.' If you're reworking a myth, be truthful about it, and if somebody told you 'hey did you know that it really -- ' and you ran with that and find out later you were wrong, well, correct the record. It's okay to not want to read or to not enjoy a retelling in which Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere negotiate a triad and live happily ever after; it's not really okay to say 'you can't do that because you changed a story element which I feel is non-negotiable.' It's okay to say 'I don't think this works because -- ' because part of writing a story is that people are going to have opinions on it. It's kind of weird to say 'you're only allowed to color inside these lines.'

That's not true, and it never has been. Greek myths are not from a closed culture. Roman myths are not sacrosanct. There are plenty of stories which outsiders should leave the hell alone, but Greek and Roman myths are simply not on that list. There is just no world in which you can make an argument that the stories of the Greek and Roman Empires are somehow not open season to the entire English-speaking world. They are the public-est of domain.

You don't have to like what people do with it, but that doesn't make people wrong for writing it, and they certainly don't have to color within the lines you or anyone else draws. Critique how they tell the story, but they haven't committed some sort of cultural treachery by telling the stories which are important to them rather than the stories important to someone 2500 years dead.

****

*These are not the only reasons to tell a story and I am not in any way saying that an author is only permitted to retell a story to express their own values. There are as many reasons to tell a story as there are stories, and I don't really think any reason to create fiction is more or less valid than any other. I am discussing, specifically, the concept of myths as conveyors of essential cultural truths.

[bokunoheros]

⋆˚࿔ naughty iida tenya hcs 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🪲 authors note:// okay yes, these will be naughty sorry i’m fucking insane okay????? this man is critically underrated and every fic i’ve read with him is fucking ass. that being said: fine, i’ll do it myself. these are. not in order. FYI.

topics discussed & warnings:// voyeurism, thigh/leg fetish, crying during sex, oral sex, BDSM undertones (?), cunnilingus, mutual mast., gender is not specified but I use female anatomical terminology, established relations kind of, kissing, lots of kissing, shared showering.

word count:// 836-ish

ᯓ heed the warnings laid before you, your media consumption is your responsibility! ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

every WORD under the cut will be R-RATED- SO, +18 only, respect my wishes regarding interactions.

𝜗𝜚 edited and proof read by the lovely calius .ᐟ xoxo

✎ᝰ He’s not into fucking, and prefers the term love making.

He’s a voyeur. I SAID IT! When you two finally get comfortable in your relationship, he will be spying on you in the shower— or while you change, taking a peek even if you told him to turn around. Sure, he’d be all bashful and nervous about it, but damn, he cannot help himself when it comes to you! — adding onto his voyeurism, he is very interested in mutual masturbation. He… finally… admitted that he saw it in an “inappropriate video” once, and got curious. Of course you had berated his ass for this, and he pouted until you were done laughing. But alas, you couldn’t say no to his darling red eyes. He’d stare at you so intently, studying every inch of your face as you respond to his touch, struggling to keep your pace between his legs as he brushes over your clit…

HOLY SHIT, does this man like legs. God forbid you incorporate panty hose or stockings or thigh-high socks into your specially designed costume, because he will be touching himself to you, ripping a hole in them, or ripping them straight off. Tenya revels in the way the fatty skin of your thighs melt over the elastic band, as it is quite literally a sight to behold. When you guys are dating— and have finally found the courage to have sex— he is not bashful about begging you to crush his head around your thighs, no matter the consequence.

Tenya is… let’s just say—very— into oral sex. He definitely has an oral fixation, and will basically do anything to go down on you, or for you to go down on him. Don’t want to do your homework? He’s already done it. Don’t feel like showering after battle training? Like he gives a shit. He’d pounce between your thighs at any given chance. — while being proud of his behavior when he goes down on you, Tenya is completely the opposite when it comes to your mouth on him. He’s bashful, nervous, and unfortunately, an accidental head-pusher. Though, he will apologize profusely as he pushes you down, he just cannot help himself. Tenya’s on the verge of crying already, and you’re barely halfway down his cock, so you at least have to give him this, right?

Iida Tenya happens to go brain dead more often than you’d think. Yes, he is just sooooo headstrong, but your warmth and the way you squeeze him, pulling him in further— and he’s babbling. Mindlessly humping into your cunt, muttering every curse he knows— slobbering as he tries to form a coherent sentence only to tell you just how good you feel.

THIS. MAN. IS. A. KISSER. DAMNIT! He loves to kiss. That’s it: kiss. Tenya would kiss all over you for no reason, other than just because he can. He loves to swipe his tongue over your neck, nibbling your earlobe before sucking a specific spot just below. He loves how you react, especially when his tongue dives into your mouth and slides against yours and the only thing you can do is thread your fingers through his jet-blue hair, tugging on what you can because you cannot fucking breathe.

Get on top of that man. RIDE HIM LIKE THE GODDAMN STEAM ENGINE HE IS. He’ll keep you firmly atop him when you do, keeping you snug in a bear hug around your waist while you grip his shoulders. He’d rutt his hips upwards when you got tired, burying his face in your tits as he brought you down hard into his hips.

Trust me, he ain’t coming until you have, that’s for sure. He’d be eating you out, fingering you with one big hand, and the other snaked between his own legs, jerking himself off. Like clockwork, only a moment after you does he finish, hastily pulling himself upwards so he can shoot his load onto the skin of your thighs with a huff, resting his forehead against your navel. You run your hands through his scalp, scratching his skin with your nails gently as you both calm the hell down.

aftercare hcs, a treat for my sweet readers ᥫ᭡.

✎ᝰ Tenya is such a sweetie. He would snuggle forever if you hadn’t gotten up to use the bathroom; even then, he’d stare at the door until you wandered back out, beckoning you to fall back into his warm embrace, which of course, you do. He’d hold onto you so tight, almost as if he was scared you would leave, disappear, dissipate— he draws little shapes over the skin of your back, pressing his strong hands into your skin every once and a while.

He’d continue this act, adding the sensation of kissing the top of your head before you inevitably drag him to the shower with you. He leans down so you can scrub his hair, sighing as you scratch his scalp, his hunky form relaxing ever so slightly under your touch.

THANK YOU FOR READING! if you wish to see more of me, ₊⊹

my carrd

kofi (tip me!)

[ineffable-suffering]

„It‘s always too late“ (ft. Crowley‘s watch)

I‘m currently on vacation in Greece and, naturally, re-reading Good Omens (the book) for the nth time. And you know what keeps bugging me and has been nagging at my brain ever since S2 dropped?

Crowley‘s line, right after he threatens Jim at the bookshop („If anything happens to Aziraphale because of this–“) which he follows up by saying: „It doesn’t matter. It‘s always too late.“

I cannot tell you just how much this silly line has been festering at some back end corner of my brain. Because what do you mean, „it‘s always too late?“ Too late for what? Has it ever been to late before? To change an outcome? Seemingly not, since they stopped the literal end of the World barely a few years ago. That‘s the most „too late“ definition there is, and they still turned it around so that it wasn‘t. Too late, that is.

So why say this? With such defeat, as well?

I don‘t remember if it‘s series canon, however, in the book, we get this little foot note about Crowley‘s watch:

„This watch gave the time in twenty world capitals and in a capital city in Another Place, where it was always one time, and that was Too Late.“

Knowing Neil, this specific wording resurfacing in S2 cannot be a coincidence. „It was custom made for Crowley“ – by who? I‘d wager that human watch makers certainly couldn’t make a watch that shows a time such as „Too Late“ in „Another Place“.

We know and see Crowley‘s watch in S1.

I think the prop department left out the „Too Late“ bit of it, which is understandable. But it‘s book canon anyway and what matters more to me here, is that Crowley definitely wears a different watch in S2.

It‘s very nicely and accurately framed in many shots as well, including the promotion pictures. Yet another thing I‘d wager to not be a coincidence. But that‘s merely speculation, of course. A lot of props and a lot of Crowley‘s appearance changed since S1 and changes even throughout S2.

Whether or not this has any deeper meaning or is simply a red herring, is for Neil and the prop department only to know.

All I‘m saying is: The mysterious custom-made, possibly non-human-made watch that said it was always „Too Late“ is gone or at least changed with some focus shifted onto it, and yet: It‘s still always too late, according to Crowley.

Is it a metaphore? For Crowley‘s Fall and it always having been „Too Late“ for him in „Another Place“ (e.g. Heaven)?

Or is it a hint? To the Second Coming? To Armageddon not having been the only end of the World? To the unofficial picture where the whole world seems to have been destroyed and the last thing standing is the bookshop? To that version of world, where it seems to be too late after all?

Or is it just a watch? And just a line? And I should just put my book down and go for another swim in the ocean in case this is just a sun-induced conspiracy theory?

Let me know your thoughts, I‘m sure this has been wondered about before!

[writingforstraykids]

Jeongin soft thoughts? 🙏🏻

Collab with @zehina

Thank you so much for the many sweet thoughts you shared with me and let me use/adapt for this. Without you this post would've been rather short compared to the others🖤🖤

Jeongin loves to tease his hyungs with disgusted faces and slipping out of their hugs. But with you, whenever you're alone, that changes drastically. Innie turns putty in your hands, letting you trace your fingers all over his face, knowing you'll stop at his dimples for a while. They're cute, just like him, so who can blame you for that? A dopey smile grows on his lips whenever you play with his hair and massage his scalp, helping him relax after a long day.

Innie has a very specific pet name for you, which he hasn't said out loud for a long while. It's like his little secret, adoring you from afar, his heart growing at the fact that you're his. One day, he slips, muttering it against your hair when he's already sleepy. You pull back, gaping at him, and his eyes widen in pure shock when he realizes why. You don't dare to tease him about it, though, knowing he'd die from embarrassment.

If the boys wouldn't know better, they'd suspect you are just a pair of bickering siblings. The loving teasing, playful cursing, and playful fights definitely make it seem like you are. But the way you two get cuddly and share soft kisses proves everyone wrong.

Innie is used to being babied by his hyungs all the time, and if he's honest, he doesn't mind it one bit. Once he met you, he found someone he could baby for once. And oh, how he loves doing it. He takes upon Chan's tradition of "maknae first" and always makes sure you get the first bite, the first sip, the best view, the cuddliest blanket, or the most loving hug. In his eyes, you deserve nothing but the best.

Innie gets drunk faster than you do so it's your job to take care of him when he is. He trusts you with this, knowing you'll get him back home or safely to bed when he had a little too much. He gets so clingy when he's drunk it's adorable. You can't even remember the amount of times he has been hugging you and planting drunk kisses on your face, missing your lips with an adorable giggle. You've lost count of the times he's drunkenly declared his love for you in front of everyone, his words slurred but sincere, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he never wants to let go. It's endearing, and even though he's a lightweight, you wouldn't change a thing about these heartfelt moments.

Innie, the baby bread who has a knack for acting like a grandpa amongst the bunch and you cannot say I am wrong. While he is a menace, yes, he isn’t one like Seungmin. No, this boy wouldn’t tease you for acting cute or taking care of him, instead, he would try his best to not be affectionate with you in public. A hard battle, one he often fails. But who could blame him, when you look that adorable, with such a sweet expression on your face? Certainly not him. So whenever you brush your fingers against his as you two walk, don’t talk about how fast he laces your fingers together, or how he silently takes off his coat if you seem cold. Let him be the little tsundere he is, otherwise he’ll pout, and you don’t want that at all.

Innie isn’t a big fan of skinship, click on any stray kids video if you need proof. But you’re an exception to that, to a certain degree. If you ask nicely enough, he’ll wrap you in his arms and have an all night long cuddle session. Other times, he wraps his arm around you protectively, not even a hiccup in the story he had been telling you, as if it was natural to him. Naturally, since you seem to be getting the VIP baby bread services that the boys aren’t getting, they all act incredibly jealous around you, all in a playful way. They tease both of you about this, which only results in their maknae getting flustered and chasing them around with heated cheeks and loud shouts. You don’t mind this at all honestly, their loud laughter and an embarrassed, cuddly boyfriend being your reward.

He would pay for your things, as expensive or cheap as they may be, he wouldn’t care at all. No, he would confidently raise his card towards the cashier, leaving you gaping up at him, admittedly a bit frustrated that you couldn’t pay for your bubble tea once again. And if you dared voice this, he would simply smirk at you, destroying your defences with that foxy smile of his. Damn him and his charisma.

When Jeongin plans a date, he makes sure every detail is perfect, from the timing to the location. His meticulous nature shows through in these moments, especially when he tries to incorporate activities he knows you'll love. He might feign indifference about the choices, saying things like "whatever you prefer," but you can tell he’s invested by how eagerly he observes your reactions. If you mention a fleeting interest in art, the next date might involve a quiet afternoon at a gallery, followed by coffee at a small café that he had scouted out weeks in advance. These thoughtful gestures don't go unnoticed, and they only deepen your appreciation for his caring and attentive ways.

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

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[jungwnies]

syn ' a-z safe for work for enhypen's jake pairing ' bf!jake x gn!reader

very much clearly he's my bias >.>

a ⋆ affection - how affectionate are they?

guys

guys guys guys

he is so affectionate

words cannot even explain it

he is so physical

and he is so verbal

always tells you how much he loves you

and he will always tell you how much he loves you

it's nothing new

he loves showing you and telling you how much he cares and loves you

b ⋆ bonding - how often do they bond with you?

always

even when he's away

he's always bonding with you

it's just who he is

building connections with you 24/7

c ⋆ communication - do they keep in touch with you when they're away?

yes of course

he always texts you

always calls you

texts you good morning

and goodnight

and promises he'll be back soon

and he definitely is back soon

d ⋆ dates - how often do they set up a date for you two?

honestly not all the time

when he has time for you

he would much rather prefer it at home

and in an intimate setting

he loves being cuddled up with you

i can't even tbh

e ⋆ essential - what is the thing that is important to them?

obviously layla

and you

and his family

god he values those around him so much

he will do anything for them

even though he gets annoyed or mad sometimes

nothing will change how much he cares about the people in his life

his heart is big okay he has a BIG HEART 😭

f ⋆ friends - how did the friendship start?

honestly i can see you guys as school friends

like you guys some of the same classes

but in one specific class you guys are seated next to each other

and you guys get super close because you're forced to do projects together and stuff

and from there you guys just started talking about other people in school and eventually talking about your own drama

and the friendship blossomed from so much innocence

so sweet ugh

he's that best friend every high schooler wants bro

g ⋆ gross - what is the thing he hates in your relationship?

he hates when you guys are ignoring each other

he's one to talk things out but when he's super upset he likes to distance himself

but he hates that

he hates not being able to talk to you about something when you guys are arguing

and especially when you guys were just friends

whenever you would beef he would be so sad

because he always had so much to tell you :c

h ⋆ hugs - do they like hugs? how do they feel?

he loves them omg?

his hugs are so big and comforting

the way his arms wrap around your torso

the way he nuzzles his head into the crook of your shoulder?

it's just so comforting and sweet

you can never get enough

always kisses you when you guys hug too

even if it's just a kiss on the top of the head

or a real kiss

okay anyways

i ⋆ intercourse - how are they during intercourse?

i think jake knows what he's doing

like when it comes to the actual

thing

but when it comes to foreplay

he's a little confused ???

he's good with his mouth too

but that's for another time >>>

j ⋆ jealousy - how jealous do they get?

he's so jealous

he holds you closer

kisses you longer

literally side-eyes anyone who glances at you

but he's not too crazy

he sulks about it sometimes

it's so cute LMFAO

k ⋆ kiss - how good are they at kissing?

like i said

he's good with his mouth

so obviously

he's good at kissing

l ⋆ love - how do they show their love to you?

physical touch

and quality time

you have no idea how much this boy

loves spending time with you

it's definitely one of his love languages

he will give anything up just to have time with you

m ⋆ mad - how often do you argue?

not often to be honest

he doesn't like arguing with you

but when you guys do argue

its usually quickly resolved

but there are those few times where it goes on

and turns into silent treatment

n ⋆ naughty - how do they deal with you annoying them?

he just does

he thinks you're cute

too cute to get annoyed with

plus he's annoying too

he's very clingy

o ⋆ open - how often do they open up to you?

he's so open with you

you are literally his best friend

so obviously he is always spilling tea with you

and telling you all his problems

you're his rock

p ⋆ pet names - how are they with pet names?

prince(ss), babe, baby, sweetie, love

big on baby, prince(ss), and love though

he loves using those on you

and when you call him pretty & baby

it makes his knees buckle

q ⋆ quiet - silent treatment?

sometimes he does give it to you

and sometimes you give it to him

but it makes him so sad

like he will really cry about this

he hates it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

r ⋆ ramble - how often do they talk about you to others?

not often to be honest

he just talks about your dates and stuff

but he doesn't brag

he's not a bragger

except for that one time you-

s ⋆ soft - how soft are they to you?

oh he's so soft

he's the softest bro

literally golden retriever energy

t ⋆ think - what reminds them of you?

music

music will always trigger

memories for him

memories he has with you

makes him miss you so so so much

u ⋆ unhappy - what makes them break if you break up with them?

i think like i said the memories he has with you

every good and happy moment is shared with you

and the fact you were able to bond with layla too?

the way that would break him

cus layla would whine whenever she had a whiff of your perfume /cologne

the way it lingers in his house :c

v ⋆ vacation - how are they with long distance relationships?

he’s not the best

but he’s not the worst

i think he is really good at maintaining that connection with you

he’s a great texter when it comes to you

w ⋆ wholesome - the sweetest thing they ever did to you?

when he didn’t tell you he was coming home from tour a whole day early

and surprised you at home after your shift

with your favorite food

your favorite snacks/candy

just the sweetest boy

and he brought layla over 😟

x ⋆ extra headcanon

jake was very scared you wouldn’t like layla

or layla wouldn’t like you

but when he saw layla immediately get attached to you

he basically was ready to commit to you

literally get down on one knee and marry you bro

y ⋆ young and beautiful - (how long does it last?)

i feel like a lot of his relationships tend to be short lived

but some are also really long

i think once he matures and grows up he starts to be more into the long term relationships

z ⋆ zzz - how do they sleep with you?

he loves having you on his chest

or he loves being the little spoon

he feels so safe in your arms

he falls asleep almost immediately with you

kisses you goodnight always

and while he’s nuzzled up in your neck leaves the softest kisses all over

and whispers sweet nothings in your ear until you are he falls asleep :(

2022 © jungwnies thanks for reading! reblogs & likes are appreciated!

[labelleizzy]

You have to understand what is happening on a mythic level, okay? What we have here is a relatively rare phenomenon: advance warning of an imposed culture change. It is critical to understand what the people who are going to be in charge believe to be true.

As you read this, remember mighty Achilles had a heel.

Everyone has a heroic self, and among the leadermen a coming they are strong and smart and capable; unafraid and fearless, they know better than anyone else how things should be done. The heroic challenge - they have been unjustly prevented from setting things right by a thorny poison wall. Through heroic exertion - generally the use of violence, trickery, and expendable companions - victory is achieved. The wall is severed and the hero prevails. The hero is rewarded with buxom adoration, many children, some degree of material success and the regard of the lesser, non-heroic people.

For thorny poison wall, understand laws, regulation, and the acknowledgement of universal human rights.

Within the myth, the hero in confidently invincible. Outside of the myth, confidence does not guarantee success. This can be quite a shock to the system. It is important to push back. The hero may still kill their opponents, but eventually someone will get him. Even immortals die from time to time; it's the rebirth thing that saves their ass.

Why is it so important to this hero to control fertility is because on a very deep primal level they understand it's their only route to divinity. As much as they value innovative accomplishment - and heroes by definition are surrounded by novelty, they are always the first in a strange land - they cannot through their own efforts ascend to being any greater than they are. Women, specifically via the provision of children, make heroes into better men, at a minimum, and via sufficiently obedient behaviors, into the closest to Godhood as they're going to get.

When you say but that's gender essentialism, let me clarify that that's exactly the point. The existential threat inherent in independent women is the disruption of the heroic path to divinity. They may say it is a mission from God, but in fact, it is a mission to be God.

And how do we defeat would be Gods? We don't believe in them. We certainly don't treat them with the fear and dread they desire. There is no respect or veneration due. That thorny, poison wall will hold. They that hold it may bleed, but the wall will hold. It may get cut but as long as one thorn remains, it will grow back. Regulations and laws are written in blood. They are sacred words in their own way. But they must, like all magic words, be used, guarded, and protected.

You may not live long, with what's coming. But in myth, you live forever. Their way of being a hero is not the only way. And somebody has to save our ass.

If you were waiting on a call, this is it.

(author requests anonymity)

[pinkieclown]

Cats The Musical Autism Headcanons

because these kitties are autistic okay!! honestly i think all the characters can be autistic these are just the ones i have specific ideaz for :3

mungojerrie & rumpleteazer (cause the twins definitely share some traits lol)

- the talking talkers… they’re both hyper-verbal :) while their chattiness can sometimes help with their schemes (they like to engage a friendly policeman in conversation!) but usually they just talk cat’s ears off cause they like talking

- always up in each other’s space, these two have very little sense of personal space and are always grabbing each other’s shoulders/arms or leaning on each other, snuggling, or generally being close to each other

- both love jumping up and down or running around to stim! sometimes they link arms and run in a circle for minutes at a time just to get their energy out

- they’re pretty spontaneous when it comes to their heists, usually jumping into it before fully working out a plan, but both can get very upset when something goes wrong/doesn’t go their way

mungojerrie

- TERRIBLE with eye contact, he’s always looking at everything except the person he’s talking to. definitely adds to his kinda ‘shifty’ reputation

- loves oral stimming, usually chewelry or something of the sort, but will absentmindedly chew on p much anything in his reach (pens, plastic, teazer’s arm, etc)

- has poor volume control, tends to talk just a bit too loud or too quiet depending on the situation

- tends to accidentally interrupt/talk over others cause he doesn’t really understand their cues

rumpleteazer

- very touchy-feely… but only on her terms! she loves initiating snuggles hugs or play-fights, but if someone touches her when she’s not expecting/in the mood, she won’t hesitate to take a swipe at em (jerrie is usually the only exception)

- tippy-toe walks alllll the time. helpful for moving quietly when she needs to but will do it for no reason at all

- loves to give cats nicknames, but doesn’t understand how they work so just decides on random nouns to call her friends

- has a hard time understanding metaphors and sarcasm

etcetera

- THE STIMMER!! she loves to stim! usually flapping her paws, tapping her toes, or bouncing in place, but pretty much any repetitive movement is a stim for her <3

- related to her stimming, she cannot sit still! she’s always moving around, playing with toys, or shifting from side to side even when she’s supposed to stay still

- loves to knit or crochet with jenny, since its repetitive and keeps her hands busy, plus she gets a cute scarf at the end!

- has echolalia, she often repeats words/sounds other cats say, usually just to feel it in her mouth

mistoffelees

- non/semi-verbal, only speaks when he’s very comfortable or around certain cats (like victoria or tugger)

- loves to perform but is naturally quite shy and quiet, so tends to lean on his ‘stage persona’ to express his more dramatic and expressive side! when he isn’t in that mindset though he’s very aloof

- very diligent about keeping himself clean and tidy. he can feel when even one tuft of fur is out of place and it BOTHERS him

- has hypersomnia, he’s always sleepy and gets worn out pretty quick (especially after his bigger magical feats)

- has very specific day to day routines (wakes up at a specific time, visits the junkyard on specific days of the week, etc) gets really frustrated and stressed if they’re interrupted or changed

- he’s a house-cat, but refuses to wear a collar (he hates how it feels)

sillabub

- didn’t speak for a long time growing up, but at like age 4 (in cat years) suddenly started speaking in full sentences. demeter was very surprised

- has a (terrifying) habit of slipping into this wide-eyed hundred yard stare when she zones out. it took a while for everyone to get used to that

- very sensitive to lights and colors, she’s the first to notice when the light shifts ever so slightly, and too-bright lights or colors are very overstimulating for her

- doesn’t like being touched except by her moms and sister (demeter & bomba and electra, respectively) and even then only in certain moments

- special interest is the night sky, she knows all the names of the constellations and can tell you the phase of the moon on any given night

- makes A LOT of eye contact

[cupidjyu]

a little crush

(ot11) when he has a crush on someone (specifically, you)(request hehe thank you!!)

notes: headcanons yet i write a whole FIC for each of them LMAO sorry!! and for the anon who requested like a whole month ago IM so sorry i am working on it, i didnt see it until yesterday :( word count: 2k

sangyeon

the tough guy

believe me when i say that this dude will put on the dumbest tough persona on

like as soon as he realizes that he has a crush, he cannot handle any of his feelings

so whenever he’s around he just… sort of puffs his chest out and does that stupid deep voice thing

“oh yeah i definitely enjoy that movie.” his throat is STRAININGGG “we should you know… *coughs* see it together some time.”

“is your voice okay?”

like bro already has a deeper voice and he makes it lower?? to seem cooler? like man you sound like kermit the frog but okay

but other than that, since his love language is acts of service, he utilizes that so much

almost too much

like if you’re thirsty, he suddenly shows up with smoothies of every single flavor

and if you ever question why, he says some dumb thing like

“im rich”

like ???????? okay????? good for you????

anyway, just know that he tries to put this tough guy thing on but if you ever so give him any affection, he will melt into putty

jacob

the overthinker

he’s just so sweet i don’t even know how to describe it

like when he realizes, it doesn’t really change anything for him. he just thinks oh!!! that’s why i was sweating around them haha

but i feel that he starts to overthink everything

because he likes a person of course he wants to treat them 10x better

but hes scared

he wants to hold your hand! and so he does. very. slowly.

like he’s um that sloth from zootopia. and you notice and you stare at him weirdly like

“do you want to hold my hand or something?”

“what!!! no!! definitely not!!” and then he will blush and pout ADORABLY. “maybe i do,” he would whisper under his breath

and it’s so hard to resist him so you just grab it for him. and he kind of just explodes

and as you’re walking together he will STILL overthink

like he’d bombard you with questions. “is my hand too sweaty? too hot? do you want to let go?”

maybe shush him up with a kiss (WHAT)

anyway, he just panics a lot, i think. so best to soothe him or he might just combust

younghoon

the softy

initially, when he thought of you just as a friend, he liked to tease you a lot. like a bunch of jokes and insults

but after he comes to the realization that he might have a crush on you, he starts treating you with utmost care

and it kind of scares you at first

“aren’t you supposed to be bullying me?”

“me? no never! who said?”

“said the same younghoon like a week ago.”

but it doesn’t mean that the caring side of him isn’t the cutest thing ever. like it’s so cute that you might just question how much sweeter he would be as a… boyfriend

what!! snap out of it!

he’s just naturally a very observant person and knows exactly what you would need

if your eyes are drooping from exhaustion, he would shyly lend you his shoulder to sleep on

a really great pillow. falling asleep on him is now your guys’ new thing. and he loves it

sometimes he’ll take a selfie of you asleep on his shoulder and he’ll stare at it for hours

hyunjae

the jokester

when i tell you that hyunjae is the opposite of younghoon

at first, he’s a bit more serious. of course he has his jokes, but he’d rather treat you with politeness

but once he figures out that he might have a crush!!! he kind of loses his mind

he knows that he’s not good at hiding his feelings, his blushing, his sweatiness, his everything

so how does he cover it up? jokes. very obnoxious jokes.

like bro will not leave you alone. of course, he never does anything downright mean, but he does enjoy teasing you

but always after the teasing, he’s completely genuine again

like if you dress up one day he’ll say “look who’s dressed up? trying to impress someone?”

and when you get bothered or flustered, he will give you a sweet smile and he’s quick to reassure you

“you look very nice today. im sorry” he will blush and laugh sheepishly

sometimes though, he gets a bit too much

like if he’s getting really really loud, all you have to do is lean closer to him

his eyes would widen and he will be quiet REAL fast (gotchu!!!!)

he will stutter and pull away and he will not talk for the next 30 minutes with how dazed he is

he gets dazed very often. if you laugh he’s in a trance. you smile and he’s smiling back with GOOGLY EYES (like how he does to chanhee LMAO)

juyeon

the clumsy one

he’s such a fool

like that’s just it

when it comes to him that he likes you, oh he doesn’t know how to act

and since he’s already clumsy, when around you he’s like 100x time clumsier

like if you guys are walking together and you laugh or smile, he’s so busy staring at you that he trips on the sidewalk

and then he has a bloody nose

and then he’s overthinking so much he’s like oh my god oh my god my crush hates me now

but once you reassure him that you still like him he will relax again. in fact he’s just too cute to resist

he definitely tries his best. sometimes he wants to get you something good to eat. he will spend so much money for you

and when he gives it to you, you’re allergic. nothing works out for him and he’s spiraling again

“i’m so sorry” he would whine. “i didn’t know”

“shh it’s okay” you would laugh. bonus points if you press a quick kiss to his hand and he will be stuttering forever

kevin

the natural lover

he is the most natural out of everyone. when he figures out why he’s been so nervous around you, he doesn’t actually change much

he’s still nervous but he isn’t going to fall down stairs for you or anything

but he is going to start giving gifts a lot more. like anything that reminds him of you he will be buying

especially his art!!!! (yk how much i love artist kevin)

like you know how artists don’t tend to draw other people when asked? if you ask him oh he will gladly oblige

he will have you posing so ridiculously and he will be drawing to the best of his ability

“you’re so focused that you’re tongue is poking out.”

he would laugh nervously “oh really? i just… want this to turn out good.”

and when he gives it to you it’s just so beautiful. like it’s so beautiful and colorful and it makes you wonder is this how he sees you??

okay so now he’s blushing. it’s his art what would one expect?!

but compliment his skills and he will definitely be giggling himself to sleep.

his sketchbook is full of you from every angle btw

chanhee

the moment capturer

chanhee seems to be a lot more somber about it

he’s genuinely not so sure if he would ever have a chance with you

so yk what he does?? he takes pictures

he loves to take pictures of other people with his camera

so when he realizes he has a crush, he will bring his camera with him whenever he’s with you

“smile.”

“you took like fifty pictures already!”

“never enough” he would stick his tongue out

he loves capturing you doing anything. eating, smiling, anything

and once at home, he will look through the pictures and laugh to himself about how nice you look

sometimes he’ll send some to you and you’ll tell him to delete them

he keeps them anyway

and at some point if you ever so leave him, at least he’ll have the memory

bro someone needs to tell him he has a chance

he’s so hopeless TT

like it isn’t the end of the world, he just needs to confess LMAO he's just scared

changmin

the runaway

when he realizes that he has a crush he will flee from you immediately

he’s afraid and doesn’t want to take it face on

so whenever you try to be near him, he will flinch away

he doesn’t want his feelings to interfere with you, he doesn’t want to bother you

but don’t worry!! as soon as you talk to him about it, he will be ALL OVER YOU in a second

though of course, he’s still a little bit more cautious then before, he puts more feeling behind his touch

he used to only hug you as a joke or to bother you

but now, he hugs you when his feelings are too strong

“wh-what are you doing?” you ask when he suddenly pulls you into a tight hug

HES SO ADORABLE he’ll just bury his face into like your shoulder and BLUSHHHH

“im just… happy with you.”

AWWWWWWW he becomes so genuine

same thing with holding hands. he used to grab it to pull you closer from a passing car. but now he does it because he believes your hands are cold without his

it’s summer time.

but don’t remind him

haknyeon

the treater

haknyeon’s love language is showing you all the places he enjoys

he already does this with you but that would be like a weekly thing

after realizing, oh boy it becomes a daily thing…

like everyday, he shows up at your place and is like

“let’s go i know a good ice cream place”

“it’s like 6 am”

“but there’s usually a long line there!”

he just loves treating you to things. when he treats you to food, he will watch with an adorable smile when you try out his recommendation

or when he takes you shopping, he will always give you compliments when you try on clothes

and after, he will buy it for you !!!!

no matter if it’s super expensive or not, he just wants to see you smile

when you catch onto the change in his behavior, he will not deny it

he will definitely be shy about it but eventually he will tell you the truth with a shy smile

sunwoo

the shy boy

ik that a lot of peoples impression is that when he likes someone, he will be a big flirter

but really he’s only flirty when he thinks of you as a friend OR when hes already dating you

in between, where he has a crush on you oh my god hes the shyest cutie youll ever see

like say he’s handsome and he cant breath for the next hour

or if you ever so smile he will be sitting next to you trying to hold in his giggle

“*covering his face with his hands* you’re so…. AGH” and you stare at him like he’s insane

you may be confused but it slowly becomes more and more obvious

like just test it out! grab his hand and he’s biting his lip so hard to hold in his smile

like once he was smiling so hard he fell backwards in his chair

he was MORTIFIED

eric

your best friend

this dude is genuinely the most confusing guy you’ll ever meet when it comes to feelings

like he has a crush on you but hes also a huge coward

so yk what he does

he friendzones himself

like BRO??

like if he does anything remotely romantic he will literally be like “oh this is what friends do!!”

like one time he literally kissed the top of your head

you ask why

“its because we’re best friends” HUH??

like no two bffs do that cmon bro fess up

but if you confront him he will never lie

hes not capable of lying hes like an honest puppy

so he will slowly begin to stop friendzoning himself

like when he intertwines fingers with you

now he says, “i enjoy being with you.” with the sweetest smile

[zz0nie]

Genshin Hcs

Neuvillette & Wriothesley

note; this is my first time writing (after like 2 years, so much improvement I'd like to hope :0) just thought I would start it easy with Neuvi and Wrio, much loved Fontaine boys &lt;3 (Suggestions are always welcome!!)

Neuvillette

Neuvillette would never EVER bring it up to you; however, he is a man who loves his hair being played with or brushed to pass time. If you bring it up he will give you a surprised look, maybe bringing out a response from you, "Don't give me that face, Neuvi." As you're holding a hairbrush in one hand. He will silently work his way to you, in fact he is extremely attentive to how you are carefully brushing around his horns to make sure you don't hurt him. So soft in general, he loves you.

Neuvillette's favourite drink is water - as we know with his idle lines, suggesting each water from each nation is different - if you suggest to him to try some tea, he would say he does not enjoy it. However, give it a large ratio between more water less tea? You may catch him having the occasional "tea" (An extremely diluted tea, keep in mind. Maybe enough to consider it flavoured water.)

Figuring he has helped the Melusines find a safe second home inside Fontaine, he has become a parental figure to them, and as he has given them jobs often if you walk into his office while it is a relatively calm time you may happen to see a small melusine tucked up on his sofa with a large blanket suited for a human wrapping their body up. He will take it with care and duty to take care of that melusine. If he is busy he will have them escorted to their home safely though. He is a worried father, leave him be.

He is extremely quick to pick up on items or things you like or dislike. Very minimal change in your body language can tell him everything, as he does in fact notice the way you stare longingly at an accessory of clothing that would go perfectly with your outfit. If you enjoyed flowers he will go out of his way to pick you or buy you your favourite flower(s) and make sure you receive them. (Most of the time he's extremely busy and gets a melusine to go to your door, he's trying his best. :(

Neuvillette has little time to enjoy things, however, while figuring court cases inside his office, you may walk past slowly and hear the hum of his record player playing some classical music. Maybe one day you'll walk in and ask him to take your hand, you'll sway together in his office, just the two of you as you sweep him away from work and to you.

At the start of your journey together, sitting in silence was not something that was sought out from either of you as it felt awkward between you. Neuvillette isn't the best at small talk, so if you aren't either it may take a while to get this going. However, when you grow closer there will be a time where he will come to seek you out, just to sit and do his own thing while you do yours, simply enjoying your presence.

He loves like old people do, the small things mean a lot to this man. Remembering small things and going out on a walk somewhere - heck, when you help him with washing his hair when he has had a long, tiring day - between you in that moment, there is no lust or hatred, just pure love for each other. Neuvillette bathes in your sweet affection during these moments, he loves you so much, even if he cannot find the words to say it.

Wriothesley

Like Neuvillette, loves a specific brand and way of tea being made, if he teaches you how and you pick up and make it for him like that u are probably one of his most favourite people. Definitely prefers his tea on the stronger side, this man needs his energy somehow.

Children love him, even if he is this big scary dude that controls the prisons in Fontaine they see him as an extra father - especially orphaned kids - and he treats all children with such respect, he's so sweet to them. You look at him when a young girl comes up to him, holding something behind her back: Some handpicked flowers. She holds them out to him, all shy around such a pretty older boy. Of course, he accepts them and thanks the young girl as she giggles and runs off, he watches her with a small smile - if you point it out the man will throw you a frown. "Can't a guy enjoy the little things in life now? Why don't you get me flowers?" Uh oh, he's got you there.

I believe when this man decides he is done being the ward of the prison in Fontaine, he finally relaxes in a home with you - and a potential child - he cares less and less on physical appearance, obviously tries to keep up but as age comes so does laziness. So beware he may begin to grow a dadbod, he would rock it though.

Ticklish on his stomach, don't know where it came from or how you found out, maybe it was your hand brushing against it while he was stretching and his shirt came untucked. Don't play with the fire though, this man does not like being tickled. Though, he has the most gorgeous laugh, maybe it would be worth it.

Wriothesley takes his sweet time petting animals on the street and taking care of any he may come across - I mean, when does he EVER get to see a pet while stuck at work? It's always something that makes a mans heart swell with joy. However if you were to ask if he is a cat or a dog guy will be admitting he is much of a dog guy. Though, dogs aren't at all interested in him which makes him sigh in defeat, yet cats just seem so in love with him (me too) when they come running up to him. He doesn't mind it though, in all honesty he would prefer having you holding onto his arm as you both walk.

HE WILL PICK YOU UP FROM BEHIND THIS MAN DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE ON WEIGHT EITHER. HE DOES RESPECT BOUNDAIRES THOUGH! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HE WONT DO IT!

He absolutely loves it if you show off any clothes, or general items you have recently brought to him. Especially the clothes, he would REALLY love it if you treated his office like a mini walkway, strutting and turning with however much confidence you have. He loves it. The way you talk, walk, smile, everything. He loves whatever you do, he just loves you.

[akajustmerry]

Hey can u tell me wat race were the thg characters in the books? Was Katniss gale peeta finnick etc not white?

so this is kind of difficult to answer because in the world of the novels, The Dark Times™ whatever they really were clearly were so destructive to the fabric of society that the USA ceased to be what we know it as.

The process not only changed the land itself and how it was governed, but the language used to do that (states become districts, America becomes Panem, etc.). The fascistic government of the Capitol, when you read the books, clearly controls language as much as any other resource. Both Katniss and Snow (the only 2 pov characters in the novels) refer to words that have been forbidden and forgotten. Throughout the books you also come across words that are clearly mutated versions of known words "morphling" is one, which is the word used for what we call morphine.

I say all that to say that the people in the world of these novels, while they still obviously use English, they don't have the same concepts we do now because they've been eroded along with the language itself.

One of the crucial steps to control and oppress a population is deprive them of the ability to conceptualise and communicate that oppression. This is even happening right now wihh right wing governments around the world attempting to outlaw education and content on sexuality, indigenous histories, etc.

I say all this to say that the characters we read the POVs from in the thg novels do not and probably cannot define race in the way that we do now because doing so has been lost and repressed.

BUT!!!! that's not to say that racism does not exist, even though the language to define race is absent. Katniss is described as dark olive skinned, with dark eyes and dark hair. so is gale. I can't direct quote it, but Katniss talks in the early chapters of book 1 about how she is treated differently to her mum and sister who are fair and blonde. specifically, it says people do not warm to her as quickly like they do her sister and mum. Katniss also comments that the Capitol stylists make a mockery of her thick body hair. It's also worth noting she's among the poorest of district 12, living in the Seam. Not for nothing but Katniss also talks about how her father was also dark skinned and knew a lot about native plants.

These things on their own probably wouldn't necessarily point to Katniss being a person of colour, but together they paint a pretty clear picture of someone who experiences racism both systemically and personally even if she can't conceptualise it as that. Due to the fact Katniss' knowledge of plants and animals and carving weapons was passed down to her from her father, many people headcanon her as Indigenous, same for Gale.

As for Finnick? Jury's out. When I read catching fire well before the films came out I thought Finnick was maybe not white because he was described as very tanned and golden and in my experience white people just don't tan that way.

But Suzzanne Collins had very clear subtextual racial commentary in the books. Especially in the demographics of the districts. District 11 is predominantly Black (Katniss describes every D11 person as having typically Black features) and they're the agriculture district, described as the one that does the most physical labour. It's also the first district in the novel main story to do an uprising. And if you think a little bit about that and what Suzzanne Collins was saying with that particular subtext it's a very obvious racial commentary on the legacy of slavery and antiblackness.

Peeta was definitely white. Not only is he described that way physically. But his family is one of the wealthiest in D12 which means they had intergenerational wealth of some kind which it's clear Katniss and Gale did not.

Suzanne Collins is white and I think she did what the best white authors do when writing about race which is to acknowledge it and be realistic without overstepping or pretending to know. I'll forever hate the movies for eliminating that subtext.

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

love me tender...or maybe not - lust fall

pairing: cupid bf!Wonwoo x fem!reader (ft. BooSeok)

genre: fluff, humor, smut. minors dni.

warnings: making out, fingering, soft dom!reader (also kind of a service top but has some mean moments), sub!wonwoo, reader is experienced and wonu loses his virginity, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill but still wrap it yk), hair pulling, marking, slight breeding kink, cumplay, mentions of dacryphilia, wonu slips into sub space, very mild degradation, use of pet names (angel, baby, pretty boy), 

word count: 3.1k (this got a tad bit outta hand folks)

Author’s note: wheeeee it’s here! one more chapter left to wrap up these mini-series ;-; A big thank you to @duhnova​, @junkissed​ and @flowerwonu​ for helping me out with this fic!

 series taglist: @enhacolor @misssugarlips @flowerwonu @duhnova @heartkyeom @junkissed @himbocoups @wonwussy @idyllic-ghost​ 

nsfw taglist: @rosecult @bibinnieposts @ovai @littlemisssarcastic21 @tinkerbell460 @jonghyuns-husband @romromthedeer @y00nzin0 @llsiriusminorisll @booyouwhore17​ 

© multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. ​No reposting allowed. No translating allowed without permission.

“A hair color change? Seriously?”

“Yeah, why does it sound so weird to you?” 

“It’s not weird, it’s weird coming from you” Seungkwan opens the glass lid, carefully placing the cupcakes inside.

“What’s wrong with me wanting to change my hair color? I could use a change, after all” Wonwoo runs a hand through his black hair.

“I mean, sure, but….Have you given it any thought or are you just going with the flow?”

“I was thinking of asking for recommendations first-”

“I think purple would look nice on you, hyung!” Seokmin joins the conversation.

“Utter bullshit” Seungkwan scoffs, “Don’t listen to him, hyung - You should definitely go for silver.”

“Purple is way more fun and playful!” Seokmin bites back.

“Silver is more mature and sexy!” Seungkwan argues.

“Purple!”

“Silver!”

“If you keep this up, I will shave my head” Wonwoo deadpans, visibly annoyed by his two annoyed friends.

“NO!” they both yell at him and he’s taken aback by their reaction.

“Okay no need to make the cafeteria a warzone!” he throws his hands in the air to his defense and he manages to calm the spirits down, “I will take your recommendations into account though, so thanks for these.”

“When are you going to book an appointment?” Seokmin asks out of curiosity, the washcloth in his hand, cleaning the counter.

“What appointment?”

“An appointment to a hair salon, idiot” Seungkwan comments, “You’re not seriously thinking of dyeing your hair by yourself, are you?”

“Uhhh”

“That is simply unacceptable! You cannot possibly risk to destroy your own hair without the help of a professional-”

“Thanks but no thanks!” Wonwoo cuts Seungkwan off, softly holding his forearms, “I really appreciate the fact that you care about my scalp, but I know what I am doing - you can trust me on that.”

“Okay, if you say so…. But don’t come back bald and cry to me!” the younger man warns him, pointing his finger at him.

The day at the cafeteria passes in a blur - customers come and go, coffee cups and other delicacies flying around, passing from hand to hand. A rather hectic blur, one would say - but a satisfying one, for both customers and workers in that shop.

It’s Wonwoo’s lucky day -  he was only on morning shift today so he left the shop around three o’clock (he could have left earlier, but he’s a clean freak and washed the entire counter).

But he’s not feeling particularly lucky right now - because he has spent at least half an hour looking at hair dyes and trying to distinguish the different shades.

“This is so not going well” he mutters to himself while looking at three different shades, which seem absolutely the same to him.

“Hello sir! Do you need help?” 

Wonwoo almost yells from the jumpscare, looking at the saleswoman who’s currently looking at him with a beaming smile.

“H-Hello, yeah I could use some help here….”

“Are you looking for a specific shade?” 

“Uh, I just want a silver and a purple, that’s all….” he mutters awkwardly.

“Interesting combo - Have you tried it bef-”

“It’s for my girlfriend!” he immediately adds, not wanting to embarrass himself even longer.

“Okay then, I see!” she exclaims and takes one last look at Wonwoo’s hair, rummaging through the hair dye boxes and she’s handing over three boxes, with the exact shades he was looking for.

“These two are the colors and this is bleach - using the bleach first is recommended because it will help changing into lighter colors easier than going straight with the dye” she points at the unfamiliar box.

“Oh, that’s….pretty useful. Thanks.” he nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hope you’ll end up with a nice result!” the saleswoman waves at him and Wonwoo’s face flushes from embarrassment as he heads over to the cashier.

“Am I even doing this right?“ Wonwoo, mutters to himself, mixing the two color tubes in the plastic cup, looking at himself while he's waiting for the bleach to take effect.

He grabs the paper with the instructions again, reading them sentence by sentence to make sure he's following them step by step.

"Section your hair and apply the color evenly….Okay, that's not too hard" he tilts his head, starting to do as the instructions say. 

"Wait, how long was I supposed to-"

"Wonwoo? What are you doing here?"

This time, Wonwoo actually yells and almost knocks everything off the bathroom counter, visibly startled by your sudden appearance.

"What are you doing here?!" he asks in a panicked state.

"What do you mean?" you laugh, "I live here with you!"

"Well yeah, obviously - I mean why are you here? Weren't you supposed to come later?"

"Last class ended earlier so here I am" you simply comment, your eyes fixated on the opened hair dye, "But you didn't answer my original question, Won" you get the plastic bowl in your hands, mixing the color with the brush.

"What are you doing in the bathroom, Wonwoo?"

Busted, he thinks, head hanging low in embarrassment.

"I saw you looking through Pinterest the other day and you were infatuated over  lilac colored hair…..And I wanted to surprise you…"

"With changing your own hair color?" you look at him with wide eyes and he nods shyly, averting his gaze from you.

"You are the cutest angel boyfriend I could ever ask for" you laugh and cup his cheeks, pressing a kiss on his lips.

"Thank you….But the surprise is ruined now" Wonwoo pouts in disappointment, but his eyes shoot up when he feels your hands on his hair, swiftly parting them into sections, starting to apply the mixed color on the now bleached strands.

"Y/N? What are you-"

"Shh, trust me on this one" you reassure him, slowly dragging the plastic brush across his scalp.

"But-"

"I'll just apply the color, after that I'll wait for you to dry it and see the ending result - Don't wanna ruin the surprise, right?"

"Okay then" Wonwoo relaxes his shoulders, the wings on his back still contracted.

About an hour later, you're waiting for your boyfriend, hoping nothing went wrong.

"Hey" you see Wonwoo peeking 

"Took you long enough" you tease him, trying to peek under the towel resting on his head.

"I just needed some time to….accommodate to the change" he rubs his nape and he drags the towel off his head, revealing his new hair.

To say the result was a pleasant surprise would be an understatement.

Wonwoo's previous black hair has been replaced by a striking lavender color, a discreet yet fascinating silver sheen adorning his locks.

If he wasn’t a cupid, you would have sworn he’s a faerie.

“Wonwoo, your hair….It’s….Oh my God” you get up from the bed, and thread your fingers in his still soft hair, enamored with your boyfriend’s new look.

“Y-You like it?” he asks, “I don’t know what to think of it”

“Are you kidding me? Wonwoo, you look utterly stunning” you say breathlessly, the pads of your fingers playing with the roots of his hair, “My pretty, pretty angel.”

Wonwoo lets out a small moan at the pet name, the combination of your voice praising his appearance and your hands playing with his lavender colored locks has him feeling weak in the knees.

“Y/N…..” he looks at you with pleading eyes, his palms wrapped around your wrists, dragging one of your hands down on his chest, breathing getting heavier and more uneven.

“Say what you want, angel. Say it and I will do it for you” you cup his cheeks lovingly, waiting for his answer.

“C-Can you take off my shirt? Please?” 

“God, you beg so prettily” you curse under your breath and take off his shirt, revealing his toned body, running your hands over his spine and pressing your fingers right on the base of his wing junctions, making his magenta wings rustle and reveal, eliciting a whine from the cupid’s mouth.

“That…..That’s cheating” Wonwoo groans, feeling his pants getting tighter and tighter, his self control wearing thin.

“Not my fault you’re an open book to me” you grin and tug him towards the bed, pushing him flat on the mattress with one swift motion, climbing over his lap.

“If I’m going too fast, let me know and I’ll st- mmfh!”

Wonwoo doesn’t let you complete your sentence by smashing his lips on yours, bringing you close to his body and wrapping his arms around your back, eagerly chasing your lips, getting drunk into your scent.

“Please please please touch me, Y/N, I need you so fucking bad-”

“Angel…you shouldn’t use bad words like those” you hold his jaw in place with your hand, peppering butterfly kisses across his jawline.

“I’m sorry…” he mutters with a small pout.

“That’s more like it” you smile, fingers fiddling with your clothes, taking everything off right in front of Wonwoo’s lust-blown eyes.

You’re stark naked on his lap, raking your nails over his nape and playing with the freshly dyed hairs, watching his face scrunch in pleasure, the man struggling to stay still.

“You know you can touch me, right, Wonwoo?” you tug at his hair a bit more forcefully, making him moan from the stinging sensation on his scalp.

“I need to take my pants off first” he laughs breathlessly and you lift yourself off his lap to give him enough space to remove his pants, along with his boxers. Your eyes zone in on his already hard cock, your hand practically itching to grab it.

“Already so hard, angel?” you attempt to align your pussy with his length, but Wonwoo stops you by holding your hips still, wings unsettling behind him.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, his expression completely unreadable.

“I….Um…”

“You don’t feel ready yet?” you whisper softly, your hands cupping Wonwoo’s burning cheeks, “You can still back down from it if you aren’t sure-”

“No, please, I….I really want this” he tightens the grip on your hips, “I just don’t want to…hurt you in the process….?” 

“About that…” you take his hand and guide it towards your naked pussy, a gasp echoing from your boyfriend’s mouth when his digits come in contact with your soaked slit, biting his bottom lip when he drags his fingers across your slit, making you moan lowly.

“Yeah, that feels so nice, fuck” you rest your hands on his shoulders, “Don’t be s-shy, you can slide t-them in” you rake your nails on his scalp, your hips starting to move with a consciousness of their own.

“L-Like that?” Wonwoo asks timidly as he slowly plunges two of his slender digits in your heat, your head involuntarily falling into the crevice of his neck as your walls greedily clamp down on his fingers. 

“God yes, just like that” you whine in response, “It feels so damn good, Wonu, you’re doing so good.”

The constant praises urge Wonwoo to move his fingers inside you, the need to see your face scrunched in pleasure getting the better of him - thus he slides them in and out of your now dripping core, his bottom lip caught by his teeth as he watches your essence coat his hand in awe.

“This is what you d-do to me, Nonu” you whisper in his ear, “And it’s just your fingers, shit- Imagine how good your cock will feel-”

At this moment, Wonwoo takes away his fingers, leaving your pussy high and empty, sucking his fingers clean with a lewd, satisfied hum.

“You little-”

“I couldn't hold myself any longer, I desperately need to be inside you, please” he begs you, his lips colliding with your neck, sloppily dragging them across your skin.

You give it zero thought and you line your entrance with his cock, carefully sinking down on him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head from the delicious stretch.

“Fuuuuuck….” you let out a loud moan, your hands perched on Wonwoo’s chest as you try to accommodate to his size.

“Oh God, oh my God” he groans, his palms smoothing over your thighs, “You’re so…tight and warm, baby…”

“Just give me a few seconds, Nonu, just a few seconds and I’ll give you the time of your life, angel” you sigh, pressing a kiss on his left collarbone as you try your best to relax around him.

“Wait- w-what about protection?” Wonwoo asks in a haste.

“I’m on the pill, don’t worry your pretty head about it” you swiftly reply, making yourself comfortable in his lap.

“O-Okay then….A-Are you comfortable enough to move?” he asks with pleading eyes, mentally begging you to start moving because he swears he’s about to cum on the spot because of how heavenly you feel around his cock.

“Do you want me to move, Nonu? Want me to drag my pussy on your pretty cock like I did with my mouth last time? You remember that, don’t you, angel?” you clench your walls around him on purpose, a playful grin on your face as you notice his resolve crumbling down like a tower made of paper cards, his hips involuntarily jutting upwards to get more friction.

“Words, Nonu, I need words” you reprimand him and you can see the wheels in his brain speeding up to form a coherent sentence.

“Please, I beg you, please move, Y/N, I can’t take it anymore” Wonwoo whines, tears starting to form on his eyes.

You smile at him and push him flat on the mattress, wings fully laid out, one hand into his lavender hair, the other beside his head on the bed.

“Good boy.”

You raise your hips and slam them down almost instantly, the bulbous tip of his cock stretching your walls, forcing bits of your sanity to start slipping away from you.

“Ah, d-don’t stop, baby, God that feels amazing” Wonwoo grips your waist, wings starting to rustle and drop a few feathers around the bed, turning his head away, eyes shut from the mind-blowing sensation he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.

“Eyes on me, dear cupid” you yank his hair a bit more forcefully, “Open your pretty eyes, Nonu, I want you to look at me when I fuck you stupid.”

He opens his eyes, just like you ordered him to do and he’s met with your lustful gaze, unfaltering despite the effort you make to fuck yourself on his cock, soaking it till the base with your juices.

“That’s it, pretty boy - Watch me make you feel good.”

“P-Please, I’m-nngh” he arches his back off the mattress, his nails slowly digging into your skin from the arousal.

“Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum that soon?” 

“Yes, pleasepleaseplease let me cum, it’s too much!” Wonwoo lets out a drawn, whiny moan, letting the welled up tears run down his cheeks, standing on the edge of his orgasm.

“Let go for me, Nonu, f-fill me up until I’m soaked with your cum, baby” you moan, your hips slamming faster on his lap, urging him to tip off the edge.

The moment he cums inside you, the wings turn crimson red - a color he wished he could avoid. 

But he doesn't feel like he has done something wrong and he definitely doesn’t feel like stopping pleasuring you - because what is the point of eros if not loving your partner, physically and mentally?

Wonwoo wraps his arms around your back and pulls your chest flush to his, wings spasming frantically, a telltale sign of his still ongoing high.

“Y-Y/N-”

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here, everything is okay, angel” you coo at him, petting his hair and hugging him close to your body, his cock still spurting cum in you, your pussy milking him dry for all he’s worth - while you’re actively trying your best to help your boyfriend calm down from his very much intense high.

It takes him a few minutes to fully calm down, his breathing back to normal and his wings finally settling down, only his soft sighs echoing in his room.

“Wonwoo? Are you with me?”

“Yeah, I’m….good. Never been better, actually” he laughs breathlessly, “Are you okay though?”

“I’ve never been better as well” you giggle, “But I also really need to clean us up because we’re sticky as fuck”

You try your best to get up on your feet, his cock slipping out of your pussy, but you immediately lose your balance and almost end up on the floor - almost, because Wonwoo is fast enough to catch you before you fall, setting both of you on your feet with just a few flaps of his wings, causing a small ruckus in the room.

“Wonwoo! I told you to be careful with them!” you scold him, thankful that everything in the room somehow managed to stay in their place.

“I know, but you’re more precious than all of the things combined in this apartment and the thought of you getting hurt could drive me insane - in a very upsetting way” he defends himself and your cheeks heat up at his honest yet sweet confession, rendering you speechless.

Got you this time, love, Wonwoo grins to himself as he carries you to the bathroom.

“Really? They almost fought because you asked for their opinions?”

“Yep” Wonwoo confirms, “If I hadn’t intervened, they would have started throwing cake icing on each other or something.”

“Still, they were more than willing to help you and that shows a lot” you comment, “I think I would like them a lot”

“Well, they definitely like you a lot” Wonwoo grins and you’re taken aback.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” you straighten your posture and accidentally splash some water on the walls of the bathtub.

“Easy there, love” Wonwoo chuckles, “I’ve talked about you to the guys before and they seem to like you, despite having not met you yet” he explains, “That’s all.”

“Oh…Well, when you put it that way, it makes more sense…” you trail off and try to sink your body under the water out of embarrassment, but his arms around your midriff stop you and drag you back into his arms, pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

“I would never do something to expose you, my love” he murmurs on your skin and you relax into his embrace with a happy sigh, letting yourselves soak into the warm, scented water.

“I think Seungkwan and Seokmin will love your new hair.” 

“I think so too, to be honest - it’s literally a perfect mix of what they proposed, after all.”

Wonwoo takes a quick whiff of the air, racking his brain to understand the identity of the pleasant aroma.

“Baby?”

“Yes?”

“What is the scent of the bath bomb you put in here?”

You turn your head around, looking at your boyfriend with a grin.

“Lavender, of course.”

[fog-rolls-in]

Pulp Musicals Theorycrafting: Firestone

With the ending of Episode 3 and now Episode 4, Pulp Musicals has introduced the concepts of orreries, the Blazing World, and time travel in its overarching story.

After some thought, there are a few dots that I've connected in my hunger for Pulp Musicals lore. To preface this, I could be completely off the mark but it is a fun idea after all. And that's what this is all about, imagination running at breakneck speed.

Ultimately, this theory boils down to Margaret (as most things do in this series). To get to that point though, we need to talk about a few things first where I will explain my thought process...

An orrery is, as we all now know, a model of the solar system. The orreries in Pulp Musicals are especially important, as the Travelers use them for navigation. But that's not all, we learn that very few orreries capable of time travel. Or more specifically, we know that they are definitely capable of time travel to the past.

We've seen both kinds of orreries at this point, both time travel capable, and not. The Antikythera's orrery is the former, while the Nautilus' is the latter. Other than being explicitly told what kind of orrery each one is, as Addison does to Samuel in Masterpiece Containing Masterpieces, I believe there is a feature that divides the two.

When the Antikythera's orrery is first introduced in Ahlaam and the Orrery, it is described as featuring a "glowing sun". Fastforward to Episode 4 during Dropped from the Clouds, it no longer shines.

The main change that has occured between these points is that the orrery was used to send Rose back in time. Therefore, it would be reasonable to assume that the glowing sun is what gives the orrery its time travel power. Especially when we consider that this feature is not mentioned when the Nautilus' orrery is described, despite similar phrasing.

This feature is mentioned one more time though, and that is what fuels this theory. Once again during Dropped from the Clouds, and immediately after the Narrator stating that the glow is gone, Rose hands the orrery over to Dakkar. He then makes this observation:

Once again, we can make a reasonable assumption about this. The glowing sun is called a firestone. So, let's do a brief recap of what we know so far:

There are (at least) two types of orreries used by the Travelers

A regular orrery cannot be used for time travel, while the other can (at least) be used to travel back in time

The distinctive difference between the two is that the latter has a glowing sun at its center

This glowing sun is called a "firestone"

Okay, so what does all this mean? Nothing, really. It's largely just speculation based on information we've been explicitly told. That being said, remember those dots I mentioned connecting? Here's another one, courtesy of A Spell is Just a Rule Made With Magic...

Huh, that's interesting. There's no denying that a "fire burning in her chest" could simply be wordplay based on her longing for a place called the Blazing World. However, the wording is interesting. Especially when we also consider one last piece of evidence. During Masterpiece Containing Masterpieces, Addison says the other orrery capable of time travel was "lost long ago".

Let's cast our minds back all the way to Episode 1 for a moment. During Margaret and the Moon, Margaret explains her feeling of being completely alone, of missing something. She describes it as a sort of "phantom pain", saying that something inside her was, that's right, "lost long ago".

Now, here comes the crazy thought as a result of all of this...

What if orreries, or at least time travel orreries, are the result of a traveler dying or ascending? Maybe, when a traveler dies, they become an orrery. And the 'special' ones have a firestone that remains intact. Or maybe every traveler (or perhaps just those capable of movement) has a firestone and these orreries are the result of it being extracted in some way.

Perhaps Margaret's firestone is, or will become, the other orrery that was lost, and that's why it's paramount that she reaches the gate.

I would like to reiterate that I know this is all quite a stretch. All of these associations could easily be entirely coincidental. But I had a lot of fun thinking about this possibility, and I hope you had fun reading it.

~ Scott

[rc-imagines]

Hellooo, Could I request some Ada Wong content? I Love your writing!!! Perhaps some headcanons on relationship style or being paired with her in a mission?

A/n: I'll do you one better and do both! They're done in seperate sections but they can absolutely go hand in hand (as in you're in a relationship with her and are her partner for missions as well) I have been having immense RE4r brainrot so I watched the cutscenes for Seperate ways recently- Thought they were good, and I could tell Wesker was a bad guy because he had no pores. Fight me.

Relationship:

Ada took "One of us has to wear the pants and it's me" joke seriously

She takes care of you in every sense of the word

I also feel like she's a bit on the softer affection side…As in like she'd like to just lay with you on the couch or in bed and just enjoy being with you. (Either with a movie playing in the background or she's reading)

She would also try to allow PDA, but I really feel like with her line of work, she'd have some paranoia about being watched so she's always careful

She'd ease into PDA over time, because it just happened naturally She can cook- She just looks like the type that can absolutely make a gourmet meal and say, "Ah, no biggie. It was easy." as if it didn't take two hours to make

Speaking of cooking, you're always put on cutting veggies duty. She taught you how to perfectly dice the vegetables purely for that purpose

Loves gives you kisses. Especially on the lips or forehead. Just the most tender, soft kisses

Would get you a promise ring, 1000%

Now, I don't mean this in a sugar mommy way, I mean this in a financially secure (and probably rich) way, but Ada would absolutely not hesitate to buy you whatever you wanted or needed

Her love languages are acts of service and gift giving, change my mind- Plot twist: You can't

Ada would definitely crave a quiet, domestic life, so she'd really cherish every moment with you.

I feel like she really likes baking? She loves the smell of sweets in the oven whether it be a pie or a cake

So you can expect her to always have some sort of treat made for you

Cat and dog mom, you can pick, but she gives me like orange cat and yorkie vibes and I cannot explain why

Overall, a relationship with her would be fairly peaceful whenever peace decides to pay a visit

On a Mission:

100000000% acts like the boss of you nonstop

"Don't get too ahead of yourself." and other slightly playful warnings are a constant

Would try to stick with you as much as possible to ensure that nothing went awry

Isn't the type to really act that she cares outwardly, but it definitely shows (accidentally on purpose)

She's only able to relax once she know the end of the mission is near

Definitely surprises you a bit by using that specific tone of voice (you know the one- "Very smooth.") and asks if you'd like to go out for drinks after everything is said and done

Of course you say yes because who would ever say no to Ada? So you know how she put tracks on Leon and Luis? You're getting the same thing done to you (without you knowing)

You can't help but chuckle once you notice it- You'd even make a light, joking conversation about it

"Next time, don't put a bright, red light on it."

"Fair enough."

Ada would also share resources with you, and only you, no matter how scarce or limited her supply might be

If you get hurt, even the tiniest amount, Ada swears that there will be Hell to pay

[vinnsley]

Hi! I saw your recent post about wanting to write! If you're still caught up with Dislyte, could you write something quick for Chu Yao x reader?

(ignore this request if you change your mind or if you don't want to do it, it's totally ok!)

actually, im not caught up at all, i have 0 idea who this fellow is! 😝

So im gonna write headcanons of how i think he would act like based on voice lines and design. tho i might redownload it... sigh

didnt read again nor edit it, were raw dogging with this one

[--------------]

To me, he seems to be rather secretive and someone who tends to keep to himself. So the fact you even close to him to be friends — Let alone lovers was a miracle on it's own.

Especially if you weren't a Shadow Decree member. (Mortal, Esper, or part of the Esper Union, doesn't matter)

Based on him wanting to 'dominate' earth and heaven (Also probably everything beyond it), he would probably want to monitor you any way he could. As a way to make himself feel like he has the 'upper-hand'.

Definitely possessive and becomes easily jealous. Judging from his divinate art, he definitely has some type of trauma (My guess would be religious?)

"When all is chaos... i will rule." Even if this his echo intro, he looks like an uptight clean freak who cannot work or gets unnerved if he has to be in a disorganized environment. You cannot really convince me otherwise. So if you were to actually 'hang out' with him... you would need to be somewhere he affirms is clean to his standards.

He probably (definitely imo) has a twisted sense of 'justice'. To me, it seems like he's simply obsessed with the idea of pleasing Taiyi and would do anything to achieve praise and reassurance that he's good enough. (For what? 0 idea)

So... praise him. He would be surprised. Wide eyes as he looks over at you and if you're lucky, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. But don't overuse it. Of you overuse praise, it loses it's meaning (specifically coming from you.), if you would per se praise him daily for something he would shrug it off like it was just a random comment, not reacting or even focusing on you.

The same goes for those cursed 3 words. I love you. Don't overuse this either, ESPECIALLY this. Because i bet on my life that he wouldn't say 'I love you' even if his life depended on it. (Maximum only when he was in private or something.)

Talking about private, i said before, he's definitely closed off. You wouldn't know much of what he's doing, what's going on his mind, or what he's planning. And you would know even less if you aren't a Shadow Decree member. Though that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love nor trust you, he's just used to keeping to himself.

In all honesty, i doubt he's much of a talker either. I think he wouldn't speak unless he's spoken to or he deems fit to interfere. So it would probably be you doing most of the talking. But he would engage in the conversation with small quips and responses to let you know he is listening (and interested perhaps), and not ignoring you.

I think his love language would be gift giving. Trinkets he found or bought (maybe even hand-made, i think he definitely has some type of hobby he secretly very much enjoys and does it closed doors whenever he could) to give you. Definitely something usable or something you could utilize in a way.

I also think he likes proximity. It plays into him being very protective about the things he likes, enjoys or treasures. So if you're close to him, or he knows where you are (plays into monitoring...) he's fine and dandy. Just his usual self.