#NO THAT WAS THEIR LARGE. omfg i was so depressed

[digitaldiseas3]

studying abroad is fun for sure but also i cannot wait to go home so i can sleep from 4am to 1pm and sit in the shower for as long as i want and watch too much TV and-

[luvhughes43]

what's in my au girls bags:

blake hughes:

bag: YSL le 5 à 7 supple Large in smooth leather

everything from blakes bag, to her sunglasses, and other items are really expensive/designer because when u give a 15 year old thousands (lowkey a million) dollars from prize / sponsorship money u know shes going to go a little crazy! but she takes care of her things and shes had them for awhile so she deserves it <3

xanax pill box: to hold all her meds/birth control when shes out and about! she has a panic disorder and so she's on xanax for that, and then she's on anti-depressants (?), and she has her birth control.

journal: therapist recommended

yellow smily face ball: stress ball for anxiety

jewelry because she's a little disorganized and definitely has random hoops floating around her bag + her fav bracelet

rosemary:

bag: coach tabby shoulder bag (it was a gift from her mom for her uni graduation)

a book of japanese short stories for when shes out and has free time

AirPods of course

mini marc jacobs daisy perfume + lip balms

a granola bar which quinn eats every single time!

journalist au! mom

bag: wandler (idk the specific bag)

her bag is filled to the brim because shes a busy woman! she also def comes from money and so she has expensive things (how else would she live alone in a nyc apartment so close to everything)

laptop, phone, portable charger, laptop charger: for work but also the portable charger because shes afraid her phone will die when somebody needs to contact her about leighton!

makeup: she 100% does her makeup in her car before walking into work. shes busy in the mornings and doesnt usually have a lot of time.

water bottle: hydrated queen

baby stuff: to keep leighton occupied + clean

mama drysdale (lila au)

bag: polo (?) ralph lauren tote

flyers pacifier (so cute omfg) for baby noah + toys and teddys for both kids when theyre out and need distracting.

glossier makeup bag + makeup: she has to take both small kids grocery shopping alone when jamies gone and the kids are super young so she mentally prepares herself for shopping by doing her makeup in the car before they go in & while both kids are calm

everything else is self explainitory

inez zegras

bag: prada black re-nylon backpack (trevor bought this for her during his all designer phase)

umich hat: its lukes that she stole!

brow gel: she takes her brows SERIOUSLY. brow gel in her bag, brow gel at her house, brow gel in the car... its serious business.

then school supplies because she's a student ! (what major do u think she is? i feel like we talked about this before but i dont remember at all)

hope u guys liked this😁💗

[mashiee]

what's your rei au?

AHAJDD OMFG. OKDY FIRSG OF ALL I LOVE YOH AND TY FOR LEAVING THE ASK. SCEOND O OF ALL

(tw, dark/angst, death, kidnapping, human labor trafficking, extreme mental instability, mental and moral decline, developed delusions, etc)

basically, i took rei and put him in the most horrible situations ever °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

the idea is basically a very dark 'what-if' of if rei had survived

im a whore for plots that have a character survive, but everyone still thinks theyre dead, so thats the route here. rei does survive, but at a great cost, and to the knowledge of no one.

and by great cost i mean, he would have been better off if he had just died. which is why the au had previously been named 'better off dead.' i have since changed the name bc i hated it.

the new au name is pontibus incensis (burned bridges in latin). this is both bc rei's bridges were forcibly burned by volcan and byron (both figuratively and literally in relation to the fire claws) and bc i think being able to say its my pi/π au is really funny.

the whole thought process behind the au stems from the thought that the government wouldnt use their money on ember. they would use something else as a source for its funds. so i basically combined that with wanting rei to be alive and go thru angst.

the story is give or take as goes:

the au starts as soon as rei "dies." ember finds a way to fake his body, etc. rei wakes up in a cell chained to the wall, he doesnt know where he is. eventually he pulled out to some kind of "arena" people are calling "the colosseum"

(i am aware colosseum is the term for the specific famous building, and coliseum is the proper term for any large stadium. the place rei's in being called colosseum as opposed to coliseum is important to later on in the story)

theres a little girl about 8-10 there too. hes given a brief set of rules basically saying he needs to fight to the death within a certain time period. obviously rei is not going to kill a little girl and shes scared shitless so neither of them do anything. theres a warning bell signaling the time is up and the little girl, who has long light pink hair and a blue ribbon in it, is shot and killed. rei attacks the person shooting out of rage and survival and accidentally kills them. rei's allowed to pass bc hes found interesting by the colosseum head(?) and its the first and last time any match in the colosseum ends in a draw. as reis leaving he turns around and sees the girls lifeless body and for a brief moment she looks like remi.

so reis dilemma there is that he just killed someone and the little girl who looks like remi dying. his thoughts spiral from here but theyre cut off. hes later brought out again and fights a guy who comes at him instantly. reis forced to kill him. when rei gets back to his cell he finds the barcode branded on the back of his neck reading 1010 (XX in roman numerals, allude to the X in X-Static). he has the horrifying realization this place has already had at least 1000 prisoners.

this pattern of killing to survive continues. due to the constant stress, reis ability steadily climbs as well as his survival instincts. he develops a literal skill to survive. meanwhile, his mental health and morals are rapidly dropping and becoming tangled and confusing--even incomprehensible. eventually he'll develop the delusion that the little girl actually was remi, and that hes the one who killed her. as its a delusion, the knowledge of remi being 4 yrs younger than him and what she looks like now doesnt matter.

im thinking of giving him psychotic depression in order to explain the delusion, but im unsure. i will need to do more research. i could possibly also give him more delusions, such as hallucinations of his body rotting and the delusion he deserves it, or maybe the hallucination of remis decaying corpse, etc. another symptom of psychotic depression is psychomotor impairment which causes issues with speech and muscle activity, which i may be able to use as well?

(all of that is very surface level research btw, if i got anything wrong or am using the disorder in an inappropriate or disrespectful way please tell me. im very open to criticism and correction)

anyway, rei figures out that hes being used as entertainment for higher ups in the authorities to have monetary gain for ember funding. hes also become the fav of the place bc he just wont die, hes seen as some kind of impossible to kill entity. he gives ember massive monetary gain. he manages to survive for a long time (i think i want the colosseum arc to be maybe 4 months long?) which is unheard of. at most people have only survived for a month.

at the end of the colosseum arc, rei obviously escapes. hes very briefly helped by an oc of mine, who ends up being important later on.

i wont go into detail abt the rest of it unless u want bc this arc is the main point of the au.

something i should mention though that rei only finds out in the next arc is that ember doesnt ever actually kill the vigilantes. theyre always taken to a coliseum. and they end up dying in there. reis the only one whos survived so far.

[soggypotatoes]

omfg im gonna stop and focus on other things for a bit but the guy who wrote this misleading and badly referenced article claimed that rsd is 'not thought to be caused by trauma' which... no reference, also i tried to find who formed this consensus and couldn't, only to find out that the guy who wrote the article is the one who coined the term RSD???? yet he never mentions that in the article or even alludes to it, claims it's an old term that has been intentionally excluded and forgotten for many years (except he sneaks in that this is actually true for 'emotional dysregulation', not rsd, but he does not make that clear) - and he phrases the 'not caused by trauma' thing as if it was a consensus reached by multiple people who have the credentials to decide this but it was JUST HIM.... HE was like 'eh i dont think this is trauma' and then phrases it like THAT

also, he explicitly says that he has concluded that RSD is neurological and therefore cannot be alleviated through learning skills or cognitive therapy (which is DANGEROUS, by the way! he specifically named DBT which was developed to treat emotional dysregulation, but no, that can't help this specific emotional dysregulation because don't you know that ADHD has nothing to do with trauma or upbringing or anything and can only be treated with medication? ALSO the term 'neurological' here doesn't make sense, trauma is neurological, you can't argue that trauma has nothing to do with it because it's neurological, jfc) and names guanfacine and clonodine as the primary treatments. i don't know much about guanfacine, but jsyk i have discussed clonodine with my psychiatrist and it is not recommended for people who experience depression bc it can make depression worse, it can lead to strokes if you drink any alcohol at all while taking it - these meds have a lot of side effects. does he mention that? no, he just says skills don't work so you have to take pills. idk man, sounds like this psychiatrist is peddling something here.

anyway. glad to know this is what a large amount of adhd online culture is based on

[commaclear]

yesterday I JUST REALIZED that philza made his appearance in the mortal realm RIGHT before quaxkity was abt to attempt to make himself bleed to death omfg it was NOT a coincidence that's a whole ass angel that disappeared immediately after he finished making q cry he must've been watching over q beforehand and gone "OOOKAY, TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION" and popped in 💔💔💔

Idk if that means he's q's guardian angel and that's how he got to know Wilbur the cringefail Demon, or if he just knew to watch over quackity rn bc of angel time shenanigans tm

also shit HURTS seeing that quackity was "doing so well" with his hereditary depression for so long only to suddenly be on the verge of suicide after he finally got such a large, wonderful dose of actual joy and lost it ALL.

At least atwg!schlatt is dead 💖💖💖

- cqaa

Yes!!!

Very astute!! Idk if anyone else noticed this, but you definitely get a gold star and an A+ on this one!!

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

So I've had multiple mini breakdowns today because of the stress of everything right now.

Went to the uni photo lab to print my photo for the exhibit and just about had a mini stress breakdown doing so. First, I couldn't open up the box my paper was shipped in. Epson shipping boxes are over the top extra about keeping the paper safe. Don't get me wrong, I love never having to worry about my paper but omfg. It's so complicated for just no reason. It took me almost 20 minutes just trying to open the box. Then the printer was having issues and kept saying I didn't load the paper correctly. I was using the large format printer for 30in paper and that happens sometimes. Then it happened again and again and again. I eventually asked a technician for help and they couldn't figure it out. So they restarted the printer, we tried loading the paper again, then it finally worked. Then I printed, and while printing, the lab closed. So what I got was what I got. Thankfully, it was a good print, no scratches or color issue. But then came cleanup and getting the paper back into the box. It kept getting stuck on cardboard, the plastic protectors at the end would fall off or not go in straight, since the lab was closed I could feel the technicians getting annoyed I was taking so long to leave and I saw the one that helped me look at me a few times. That's when everything really amped up and the stress fully took over. Not to mention I wasn't able to close the box my paper was in because of how much I struggled to open it so I had to carry that and the exhibition print at the same time while not trying to drop the paper or scratch the print. It was a mess.

Then there was stress from grocery shopping, having my mom rushing me because it's hot, and ne rushing myself because I just wanted everything to end. In the elevator to my floor I almost started crying and started hitting myself from stress. Today's been a lot.

I'm waiting for my sheets to finish washing, then I'm going to finally shower and get into bed. I'm just so tired from everything. The day and everything else going on. Feeling lonely because one friend I only know online, with my other friend it's just complicated and awkward and I can't talk to them about stuff like this, and then the friend I consider myself closest to ... idek what our relationship is anymore because of everything that's just been messing with me. This depression has lasted since July with no breaks. I honestly can't tell what's from it and my head, or what's actually happening around me. Is our friendship still as strong as it was and this is an imagined distance, or is our friendship actually breaking? I literally don't know the answer to that and it's just tearing me apart.

[outofcontexturi]

Mon 21st Nov 2022 journal 21:51pm

I feel lazy in the mind. Like a large part of me didn’t want to open this app and write this journal right now but I’m not listening to that part of me. I’m trying to get my life together and I’m in my own way right now maybe cause my body really needs a reset and knows best but time won’t let me relax without quitting the rehearsal process and not performing which is t what I want to do. I need to find my passion for acting again and soon. Therapy today was good. It put me in a really good mood. I had a great conversation with Angie yesterday about life and shit. And the importance of healthy eating which is something I really want to try and embark on this season. It’s getting too dark too early and it’s really fucking up my mood and I feel that diet or what you put into your body is kinda what you get out of it too and because I’ve been depressed for a while or in a depressive state for a while I’ve just been eating like shit and not caring as much but I think I’m tired of chips and burgers. I need something new and homemade in my life. I’m tired of these £4-7 meals that all add up to something in the end. I could be so much better but I’ve lost some discipline that I’m trying to get back. I can get it back and will get it back. Thank God for life. Thank God for opportunity. Thank God for favour and Thank God for love and family. I’ve been looking at my birth chart recently from a tropical pov and a whole sign pov just to see any stark differences and there’s not really much to report back other than saturn is in my 5th house and my Taurus is in my 6th house. That’s all. Saffrah just messaged me. It’s 21:58pm. I felt good talking to that therapist today. I told her life felt like a dream and shit. i like therapists that are conversational instead of looking at me and trying to psychoanalyse me. Shout out to Lisa. Also, Peace is looking sexy as fuck. Speak of the devil she just messaged me; it’s 22:00pm. Oh yeah I went to some party on Saturday evening at Natalie’s old house. Shit was very good vibes considering I was one of two black people there. No racist vibes. Nothing. Just some good white folk. I didn’t feel out of place as such. They were cool and I met some cool people too. Benjy. 28. Actor. Becks. 28. works with Natalie. I was up until 7 in the morning. I was absolutely fucked. Yesterday felt a bit rough for the kid I can’t even lie. just endless cycles of masturbation and self scrutiny. Sometimes bussing a nut isn’t always worth it. i really value honesty man. fuck. I messaged Monique cause I think I wanna fuck. Okay so hopefully by 11:30pm I’ll be asleep. It’s 22:10(10:10)pm. I genuinely love being the right high. It feels the best ever. I had one of my best showers today cause I was high as shit and the hot water hit my back and I honestly screamed a lil😂. I’m listening to a Garden Kisses cover on SoundCloud (artist SeaJay x Garden Kisses). It’s 22:13pm. I feel In love with life and it’s possibilities. I wanna fuck Alexandra. And Monique. And Peace. I thought about Destini yesterday too. I hope her sexy self is doing good. I’d genuinely fall in love with her if I knew her. I wanna fuck Syanna too. Taurus Women>>> ugh or cancer Women >>> or Libra women>>>> or some Sag women>>> ugh I love bad bitches SO MUCH omfg genuinely genuinely love me a bad bitch. Fuck man. I’m open to letting go of close friends in hopes of finding the right close friends if need be. I’m know what I being to relationships and friendships and I know how much work and care I have for people and if people think they can not care for me and I’ll stick around you have me ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP. I’m not that nigga no more baby. you’ll recognise soon enough. I’m like no one you know. If I could sing this song like the way this nigga is singing it I’d be happy as fuck. Damn. I don’t know if I said this already in previous posts but my mum is back from Ghana. It’s nice to have her back but damn I didn’t miss the sending that much hahaha love her though but Damn man. 22:22pm. I wanna fuck. ugh. I’m high but not completely gone high. like work lev

[rsmrymnt-tea]

8 and 12 for obey me ask

8. Which sin best represents you?

Oof. I think it's a close tie between Envy and Greed? Envy because I really do find myself envying a lot of people, especially for their art output that it sends me into deep spirals of depression and questioning if it's worth even trying anymore, and all the other things Levi tends to do tbh >.> My ugliest trait tbh, I'm so glad it's largely limited to art and I can avoid it by doing stuff that makes me feel like I'm making progress improving everyday/most days >.<

And Greed because I honest to goodness want more money (so tired of feeling bad whenever I need to spend on anything fun? or even food tbh) and daydream of stealing millions from billionaires and robbing designer fashion stores and stealing Rolexes to melt down into gold/platinum bars to sell for cash sdhfkdfg I want that money to spend on myself and my friends and family so bad bc we all deserve better (which I guess rounds back to envy again so maybe my biggest sin really is just Envy lmao)

12. Which lesson has been your favorite?

OOOUUGHGHGH LESSON 51 LESSON 51 MY BELOVED the number one reason why this blog even exists sdfhjksdghkjdfgh it's the Lesson where Satan and Simeon end up in an illusionary Celestial Realm and always has me up in my feelings each time I think about it. Close second is 52 because it's a continuation of it, and those Lessons combined are absolutely the ones I think about the most. Just gave me so much insight to Satan, Simeon, and their relationship with each other and the brothers? Talking about it makes me want to revisit my WIP rewrite of it...

Like. I know I'm likely going to change each Sorcerer Trial for Dola when I do the outline for how S3 went for her but... Those Lessons. I'm going to include them no matter what the fuck I end up turning her canon into omfg those lessons... Clutching my heart thinking about them... Ouugughg Satan.... ;A;

Incredible shout out to Lesson 46 as well since it has my Most Favorite Confession In The Game... Which is Solomon's :) The way it made some of the shit he did in S2 click sdhfkjdfg ougughg oml...

[eloquentgifs]

DWJ Reading Project. Part II

As I said here, my 2021 resolution is gonna be READING EVERY DIANA WYNNE JONES BOOK I CAN FIND, and due to my love of making lists and taking notes, I’ve decided keeping track of this reading project here in this post, which I’ll keep updated as I make progress. It’s mostly for my own pleasure, but maybe it helps someone who wants to give it a try to this amazing writer and doesn’t know where to start.

Part I (1970 - 1976 & The Dalemark Quartet)

Part III (1984 - 1992 & Land of Ingary Series)

- The Chrestomanci Series (DWJ’s suggested reading order): · Charmed Life (1977): I couldn’t fully enjoy it because the main premise of the story is the codependency Cat has with his AWFUL sister, and how her abuse shapes everything on his life. He has such a low self esteem and needs so much a hug, it just breaks my heart every page. In any case, the worldbuilding, the magic system and the general vibe are just amazing. If it keeps like this, I totally understand why so many people love this series

· The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988): Ok, this is the good shit. I don’t even know how to describe it in few words. Let’s say that there’s also a kid being abused by his relatives, and there were parts where I wanted to throw the book against the wall, but Christopher is such a fascinating character to read about that you just can’t stop. And this universe, OMFG. Also, is the Asheth thing some kind of homage to The Tombs of Atuan?

· Conrad’s Fate (2005): I’ve binge-watched Downton Abbey a few months ago, so finding out this book is basically DA with magic was just a delight. Christopher and his new BFF Conrad arrive to this big ass manor to work as lackeys, while both having secret agendas of their own. There’s everything one would expect and more: Rich Family Drama, Upstairs/Downstaris antics, crime solving, forbidden loves, scifi-ish reality bugs, and of course abusive relatives (at this point, if I were DWJ’s uncle I'd think she was trying to tell me something). I read it in a day and a half. The only negative thing I can say is that I missed Christopher POV of things. 

· Witch Week (1982): This is about a bunch of pupils and teachers in a deppresing boarding school. Everyone is a little bit of an asshole at some point, but it's understandable because this world must be the worst in Series 12. Not only they keep burning witches in modern times, but witches aren’t even a minority, so you can imagine the amount of hypocrisy. It’s interesting how the witch thing can be considered a metaphor for lgtb kids: everyone is scared of being called a witch because they’ll get bullied (and maybe arrested and burnt), but every time a character find out they’re in fact a witch, they just feel confident and happy because they’ve found themselves, so they can’t even hide it. Also, there are more secret witches around than they would expect.

· The Magicians of Caprona (1980): Two families of famous spell-makers keep hating each other through generations, to the point they put Caprona, the city-state where they live, in danger. Sometimes the Italian stereotypes were too much and took me out of the story, but not gonna lie, I really loved the opera spells, the large families living all together in a big house and being loving and supportive with each other, and BENVENUTO.

· The Pinhoe Egg (2006): This one is also about confronted families of magic users, but this time they’re in the villages near to Chrestomanci Castle, and no one really knows there’s a feud because their spells are based on herbs and plants, not in singing opera on the streets. Cat comes back and shares the spotlight with Marianne Pinhoe, and as always I would love more Christopher Chant, but I can´t really complain.

·  Mixed Magics (2000): Four short stories settled in the Chrestomanci Universe, more or less linked to the main characters. My favourite is the third one, Carol Oneir’s Hundredth Dream, mostly because the idea of a kid selling her dreams as stories is brilliant, but also because I loved that little moment where Christopher reviews Carol’s dreams and everything he says is the kind of critique that Diana always received on her books.

- The Homeward Bounders (1981): There are some misterious powerful people who seem to be addicted to Age of Empires, but they play it using actual worlds and actual people. When someone from these worlds find this out, they got exiled and doomed to jump from world to world, only able to stop when they manage to get back to their original world.  The first act remind me a little of those stories from Arabian Nights where the main character keeps arriving to weird islands and getting into the most bizarre troubles but always manages to survive. Due to life circunstances I couldn't focus 100% on the reading, but I did enjoy the characters, mostly Helen, and Jamie eventually grew on me too. I must confess I got kinda lost with the final explanation about the game and the nature of this multiverse and what it's Real and how Hope acts literally as an anchor that keeps the system going (although I find the notion really interesting as an allegory, and once again a really cool message for kids: hope can be your prison)

- The Time of the Ghost (1981): Ok, this one was a dark trip. I can’t really say that much because everything is a spoiler. Let’s say it’s about an amnesic ghost who’s drawn to their family, and there’s a lot of sadness, pagan blood rituals (one chapter in particular has A LOT OF BLOOD for my taste), abusive relationships, and a little bit of the theme in the previous book: the negative side of hope that makes us cling to things in an unhealthy way. Also, I’ve read this book is kinda autobiographical, and it explains so much about the way DWJ used to depict families in her books, it’s heartbreaking. It has its moments of fun and sweet melancholy tho. It’s never 100% depressing with Diana. I think that’s what make it feel so realistic.

[spiltscribbles]

Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency   that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

.-

The FIC this HC is from 

.-

So first off some background on his mum in the story 

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine,  so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!! 

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on  when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950  when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side,  she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

 They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network  was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in  1955,  subsequent to  Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became  absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely. 

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day  for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers.  And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone  by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda. 

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally  meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking  charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously,  she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst. 

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement. 

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that  if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled  with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually  to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery  and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all  under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE!  And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen  scarf that smelt like her perfume.

 It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like  he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while  the war was only getting worse and worse—  Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment  that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only  reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

[allamericansbitch]

🦔🐧

Guess what I did last week? I bought socks with HEDGEHOGS ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS on them AND socks of PENGUINS SKIING. HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!     

Anyway, well that's the last time I tell anyone anything about animal anons plans, otherwise they will be spoiled and ruined by my friends! Oh well, it's all in good fun (and also forced me to keep my commitment of posting tonight despite being depressed that Jurgen got sent home...#gbbospoilers)!

Well as many people have predicted correctly, I passed the Bar! Hallelujah! I was sworn in as an attorney this week so I am officially an esq! I also am scheduled to received my dolly booster shot next week and earlier this month I started a new (not 80 hours a week) job! So I have had a fabulous month and have many things to be thankful for including my epic sock purchase! Which is perfect timing for the holiday ahead! So I wanna know what you are thankful for this year? I know it's been a tough year for so many so it can be as small or as large as you can think!

I'm so excited to learn more about everyone's year and what you're thankful for! Remember to tag animal anon (if you so desire) because I love scrolling through all your amazing responses! And since it was requested of course I LOVE atwtmvtv and the short film! My favorite vault song is IBYTAM because I love LOVE LOVE CS (please everyone go watch his performance with Jhud from the CMAs, it is mind-blowing)!

And remember, animal anon thinks you are all beautiful talented gorgeous people who are all killing it at life! ❤

omfg the icon themselves is back!! hi!! thats so fantastic about passing and being sworn in! also the socks! two equally exciting and thrilling things.

the first thing that comes to mind for what i'm thankful for this year is the fact that i'm graduating finally and not gonna have to juggle work and college at the same time anymore! i'm gonna have so much more free time and i'm really looking forward to it. also my family being in good health, my mental health really improving and being able to reconnect with my friends that i never go to see last year.

also ibytab is slowly becoming one of my favorites too and i just watched the cma performance and wow.... jennifer and chris' voices are insane enough on their own but that performance together is electric.

congratulations on everything!!

[firelord-frowny]

!!!!!!!!!!!!! one of the things that Disturbs me most about ~weight loss culture~ and fatphobia and whatnot is that like... 

ok, so there are some negative health conditions for which a lot of body fat can be the cause of, or a symptom of. true, i guess. 

but simply “losing weight” is not automatically a healthy thing. 

people can and do lose weight all the time in ways that can be MAJORLY detrimental to one’s health. Duh. We know this. Anorexia, for example. People can DIE from that disease. people can lose weight because of depression. weight loss can be caused by or symptomatic of malnutrition. cancers and other diseases. 

So like... simply “being thin” isn’t the thing that’s healthy. Being in good cardiac health via healthy food choices and regular exercise is the thing that’s healthy. And if you commit to eating healthy foods in healthy portions, and getting a daily bit of exercise, that may very well translate into weight loss for people who weren’t already making healthy choices. 

But like. Simply ~losing weight~ doesn’t make you healthier. Starving yourself or purging or exercising to the point of physical injury does not make you healthier. DUH!!! Cancer obviously does not make anyone healthier. Having no appetite because of depression does not make you healthier. 

so WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY do people hyperfocus on ~weight loss~ as a way to improve health??? 

If you lose 20 pounds by eating nothing but one single order of mcdonald’s large fries every day for a month.... sure, maybe you’re 20 pounds lighter, BUT YOU’VE ALSO ONLY EATEN THE WORLD’S MOST NUTRITIONLESS GARBAGE FOR A MONTH!!! maybe your judgmemental grandma who always makes flippant comments about your weight is happy, but your arteries sure as fuck ain’t. maybe you’re thrilled that you can ~fit into your favorite pants from high school again~, but your blood pressure is fixing to fuck yo ass up. 

OOOOBBBBBVIOUSLYYYYY i am not a Professional in matters of diet and exercise and health and nutrition. 

but it seems from my layman’s point of view that if you’ve made unhealthy choices that contributed to weight gain..... why even bother ~trying to lose the weight~ if you aren’t going to be healthy about it?? If you’re unhealthy in your current shape and you change your shape through EVEN MORE unhealthy stuff... then why not just stay in your current shape until you’re ready and willing to make the kinds of lifestyle changes that would actually improve your health? the kinds of changes that would INCREASE YOUR LIFE EXPECTANCY!!! Decrease your chances of developing serious health problems! Improve your chances of SURVIVING any serious health problems that you do develop. 

don’t just try to be thin omfg that’s so STUPID!!! being thin doesn’t make you healthy!!! LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE MAKES YOU HEALTHYYYYYYY!!!!!!! 

Obligatory Disclaimer that i’m SUUUUUUUUUUUURE that even if my thoughts about this are true, there’s probably a fuckin lot of exceptions and nuances that I’m not educated enough to understand. I KNOW that when it all comes down to it, only a health care professional is qualified to help a person figure out what kinds of changes they need to make for their health, if any. 

but I’m sitting here thinking about the 15ish pounds that i rapidly lost and then rapidly gained back when i was emotionally breaking down bc of The Plague, and how my actual health was a trainwreck the whole way through. And I was thinking about how for yeeears I’ve been wanting to Stop Gaining Weight via healthy lifestyle changes, and how I’ve always felt kinda pathetic for not being able to muster up the will power an discipline to commit to those changes, and how seeing myself gain weight was like a reminder that I don’t have the resolve to treat myself better, 

and then i saw myself suddenly 15 pounds lighter and i STILL felt like shit because I knew that those 15 pounds weren’t a result of healthy choices - it was the result of clinical fucking depression. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #387

“today i woke up, & i hate myself”

What common problem have you never experienced? The loss of a close family member (that doesn't include pets). Alternatively, what's an uncommon problem you have experienced? Homelessness. Do you know anyone who opposes marriage equality? I sure do. What was the last thing you got really emotional about? Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiering. What's the longest amount of time you've been ill for? I don't really know. I don't get sick a lot at all. Who is your closest male friend? Girt. Do you know anyone who hunts for meat? Sadly. I say "sadly" because it's not like they need it. Have you ever lived with a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes, although I wasn't a technical resident. I was there all the time, though. What do you wash dishes with? Sponge, scrub brush, rag, something else? A sponge. Is there anything you prefer to do the old-fashioned way? There's probably something, but I can't think of anything. Do you put your glasses and mugs right side up or upside down on the cabinet shelf? Upside-down. What was the worst part of your childhood? My parents fighting. Have you ever seen a high school relationship last long-term? (like 10+yrs) Yeah. Do you know any cancer survivors? Quite a few. Leftover pizza for breakfast... yay or nay? Good shit, man. Do you personally know anyone who's a psychopath or sociopath? I don't think so. What is your most used kitchen appliance? Lately, it's been the apple slicer. I've been on a real apple slices + peanut butter kick lately. What is something that you would personally like to be remembered for? For being a caring person towards all living things. Have you ever been diagnosed as clinically depressed before? Yes. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun. Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? No. Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? Yeah, that'd be cool. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara, easily. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self lmao. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. My parents didn't grow up in NC. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember like... anything. What about something they definitely can count on you for? Someone to listen to encourage them. What’s one food that you want to try but haven’t yet? I've always thought macaroons look good. Do you have anything planned for the summer? No. Do you walk fast or slow? Slow. Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? No. What is a common slang word from where you live? Plural "you" does not exist. It's "y'all," lol. What’s the scariest thing you’ve accidentally found on the internet? *shrug* Probably something as a kid, going on those sketchy websites with loads of games and stuff. Thinking of every Halloween costume you’ve had, which one was the most creative? I don't think I've had any creative costumes for Halloween. What’s one random city you want to visit? It's not exactly "random" as it's a popular location, but anyway, I would love to visit Venice. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? That's a good question, actually. Maybe my niece's birthday in February? I don't remember what kind of cake it was. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? No; I don't have any. Do you like snowy winter days or do you prefer rainy days? SNOWY! Name 3 things you find most beautiful in nature: Mountains, large waterfalls, and desert dunes in the wind. If you could ask one person one questions and get a completely honest answer who would it be and what would you ask? Jason. I'd ask if he thought I was emotionally abusive. What is your favorite winter activity? Building snowmen. Who is the greatest singer who is no longer living? Freddie Mercury. What is your idea of heaven? I don't know, really... I have to ask myself IS there a heaven in eternity? Living forever just... doesn't appeal to me. "Living" is an odd word to use there, but hopefully you get it. Existing on and on and on and on seems like it'd just be a drag, but at the same time I do like the thought of feeling relentlessly happy and peaceful with my loved ones. I guess that would be my definition of it, if it does exist. What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done? ODed. Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through? Just once, on my 16th birthday because I was at Jason's place and all of his family was watching it. I had absolutely zero interest, but we wanted to hang with the family. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you watch American Horror Story? I haven't in years. It was Jason's and my first "show," and the first season was excellent. I lost interest in the second one, honestly. I'd be up for watching other seasons, though. How many relationships have you been in this year? None. What's your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That's also the only cereal where I can happily drink the milk afterwards. Twitter or Facebook? Facebook. Do you like to paint your nails? No. What's the coolest place you've ever been to? Disney World, probably. Have you ever punched anyone? No. What's something you wish you knew how to do? Cook. :/ I really need to make an effort to learn. It'd be great to not rely on a microwave for the rest of my life. What's a celebrity that everyone likes but you don't? *shrug* What food do you eat the most? Probably bread in some form or another. That really needs to stop. Green or purple grapes? Either one, but they have to be firm. I cannooooooot with soft grapes. Have you ever cried over a text? Yeah. What's the background of your phone of? My lock screen is this pretty, simplistic periwinkle color with "work on you for you" written on it. It's one I plan on keeping for probably a long time because I connect to it so deeply with my stupid damn head frequently demanding I have to improve "for Jason" to prove him wrong. Which is a very unhealthy mindset to have, I know. My home screen is a cute lil Mark edit someone made with a very similar pale blue background, so my phone is just currently an #aesthetic. Do you have a Snapchat? No. What's your favorite sports team? (if you like sports)? I don't like sports, but I'm biased towards the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team because of my dad. Last thing you ate? I had Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. Do you take a lot of selfies? Definitely not. I just hate how I look so much; it takes way too much effort for me to get an "acceptable" one. Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries. I hate cherries. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Maybe like, three. -_- Our A/C is still out, and it was like, 87 in the house last night. It was impossible to sleep. Do you listen to music daily? Not EVERY day, but usually. Biggest insecurity? My weight. Do you play video games? Not as much as I used to. I'd probably play way more if I actually had a PS4 + the games I'm DYING to have. Do you consider yourself lazy? "Yes, but a lot of it is also health related for my lack of energy and motivation." <<<< This for me as well. What recently made you laugh? I was watching a bit of The Nanny with Mom yesterday. We love that show. Do you like gummy bears? Yep. What was the last song you listened to? I'm randomly hooked on "My Nocturnal Serenade" by YOHIO. Like, I've known the song for a long time, but NOW I'm bingeing it???? Describe your mom with one word. Selfless. What's the biggest turn-off? Probably being misogynistic. But being a cocky ass is definitely high up there, too. What fish scares you the most? Mfkng whale sharks terrify me. How do you feel about snails? They're cuties!!! What's your favorite app? Pokemon GO. Would you rather time travel into the past or future? The future, to see what's coming. I feel like you could come back with some pretty valuable information. What is the saddest song you've ever heard? I think "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has to come on top. What insect do you hate the most? I was reminded that stag beetles exist last night, and omfg those. Well, "hate" is the wrong word, really, I'm just terrified of them. Would you ever have a wild animal as a pet if possible? I 110% want to rescue an opossum, emphasis on "rescue." I'm not plucking one from the wild or anything like that. I would be in HEAVEN raising one of those angels. Are there any decorations that makes you happy? (lights, candles, plants..) I love those beds decorated with fairy lights, and just Christmas lights in general. Halloween and Christmas decor tend to give me sparks of happiness when I see 'em. Does race matter to you when it comes to dating? Not at all for me. When was the last time you painted something? Not since I was still in school and took a Painting course. When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? I have NO idea. What is one question you would like an answer to? Why the worst things tend to happen to good people. Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I don't babysit, but if I was to be in charge of a kid, I'd love to teach them to play video games from my childhood. Playing Pokemon with my niece and nephew is always a blast, ahhhh. Name one flavor you like. Strawberry is pretty consistent. Name one thing you are hoping for. Venus' new terrarium soon... big sigh. I can't for the life of me find one that's a reasonable price and also adequately sized. I'm willing to put the rest of my cash into it, but Mom is helping, so I can't just buy the first one I see. Then I'd need more substrate, I seriously want a temperature gun and hygrometer, a cool hide, sticks and stuff for cover... It's going to be expensive, but I want Venus to have a truly proper environment she can thrive in. Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you were younger. Oddly enough, I can't remember the imaginary wolf that was my "friend." I say "oddly" because his whole idea was important to me as a weird-ass kid. Name one girl's name that starts with a "J" that you like. "Justine." Name one boy's name that starts with a "J" that you like. Maybe "Jaxson." Have you ever been kissed? Yeah. Have you ever feared that you would be killed? It's never been like, a fear I actively worry about. I just acknowledge it's always a possibility for anyone. What is the last great opportunity you missed? This was quite a while ago by now, but I'd say by dropping out of school, I really let photography opportunities slip since I became the newspaper photographer...

[cruelfeline]

Okay so this kinda worries me for Entrapdak so maybe you can help. We know that Entrapta is a vital character for Hordak's character development, season 4 showed us that. What about the other way round though. Granted Entrapta is hardly in Season 4, but apart from saying her relationship with Hordak was "Confusing" that's the only time Entrapta mentions Hordak. Now again maybe for time reasons, but still...It feels a bit one sided at the moment. Maybe season 5 will expand. Hopefully. Thoughts.

Hmmmm I think I understand your meaning, anon. Let me see if I can convey my viewpoint and perhaps assist with your concern.

Entrapta appears to be an individual who can compartmentalize her emotions as needed; on Beast Island, she simply pushed all of her distress aside, focused firmly on the science, and moved on. It’s what allowed her to survive. It’s also what makes her look like she doesn’t care as much as she really does. 

The fact that she mentions Hordak by name rather than grouping him in with her general friendship distress indicates that he holds a different, special place in her mind. It’s telling that his is the only name mentioned before she descends into depression. She could have named Catra, Scorpia, Emily, anyone; but only Hordak got that honor.

Now, in terms of Hordak needing her more than she needs him: in terms of relationship issues, I’d say Hordak and Entrapta are about equal. Both have trouble connecting with others. Both were easily led to believe that the other abandoned them. However, at this moment, Entrapta is largely limited to those relationship issues. She is in no physical danger.

Hordak, on the other hand, is having severe threat-to-his-life problems. Problems that are in a completely separate sphere from the relationship sort. So I wouldn’t say so much that “Hordak needs Entrapta more than she needs him,” I would say “Hordak needs literally anyone to save his life because OMFG.” 

So Hordak seems more needy right now because he is legitimately more needy; he’s functionally dead and, even when hopefully revived, is under Prime’s thumb and needs help escaping from that. It doesn’t have to even be romantic help. Just... someone has to aid him in severing his lifelong ties to Prime.

Once that’s done, I think he and Entrapta will look more equal again, because once its brought back down to relationship-only problems, they mostly are.

[jotaroscigarettebox]

Hiya! Me again because I love your work! I might give thousands of recommendations, Hope that’s okay! Anyways, I’m in a Josuke mood now-! Josuke with depresso espresso darling who honestly just needs cuddles? Please and thank you!

(a/n) omfg i’m so sorry for this taking a while. my old laptop broke and it took forever to get me a new one bcs of covid and everything frnjedkj, but i’m back and i’ll actually be writing haha. i hope this is what you wanted! tysm for requesting~

You’d been feeling down all week. It had been a hard time at school, work piling on more and more by the hour. You’ve been struggling with depression for a while. Your boyfriend Josuke had known this, and did everything he could to make you feel as best as you could. He noticed how you’ve been acting lately, and he was worried. “You okay baby? I can do whatever you need me to do to make you feel better. We can like, uhhh I don’t know maybe we can go to the park or go get some ice cream?” You smiled, and sighed. “You know what Jojo? I think I just wanna stay in tonight. Maybe we could just have some instant ramen and cuddle?” A smile spread across his face, and he excitedly started grabbing blankets and pillows, making them into a nest sort of shape. “Babe what’re you doing?” you giggled, and felt a smile crack across your face. “I’m making a nest for us,” he said proudly, fluffing up the pillows and folding up the blankets all nice. He was like a golden retriever, always happy and ready to do whatever you wanted. Spending time with him always made you feel better. You knew he’d always be here for you to support you and help you with what you were going through. Slipping on your fuzzy slippers, you walked into the kitchen, turning on the electric water kettle. The hissing of the kettle filled the house, drowning out the noise of whatever Josuke was doing in the living room. You deeply exhaled, and closed your eyes, taking in everything that was going on at that moment. The feeling of the fuzz in your slippers around your cold feet. The warm air from the heater blowing in your face. The noises of Josuke rummaging around the room next to you and the whistling of the kettle combining and filling your ears. “Come here babe! I finished the uhh…” Josuke called you out, searching for a word for the bundle of blankets and pillows on the living room floor. “Nest?” you responded holding back a laugh. “Yeah that!” He excitedly responded, a light blush spilling over his cheeks. You stepped into the mess of blankets and pillows, and felt Josuke lay next to you. “I really hope this makes you feel better, Honey.” He looked at you, his ocean blue eyes meeting yours. He wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you. You felt a wave of peace rush over you among the chaos. Tears started rolling down your cheeks, and a large grin crossing your face. You felt...happy. Everything seemed right at that moment. Josuke looked down at you once more “Are you okay babe? Is something wrong?” he worriedly asked. “Just the opposite Jojo. Everything’s just...so perfect right now. I love you.” you responded, the tears now streaming down your face. “Aw Babe come on you’re making me blush,” he chuckled, his face reddening even further “I love you too Honey.”  He pulled you in tighter, his smell of cologne and sweat filling your nose. It was a comforting smell by now. You wriggled more into his side, his soft cotton shirt rubbing against your face. You heard soft music play from a speaker across the room. A click startled both of you, pulling you both out of the moment. “Oh, it's the kettle. Better go make the noodles,” you said, starting to get up. Josuke pulled you back in, his grip on you tightening. “C’mon babe. Relax, you need it.” You sighed, giving in. Exhaling hard, you felt yourself falling asleep in his arms, letting go of all your worry.

[sternenteile]

— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by:  @rebeljest​ !! thank u!! tagging:  ahhh man uhhhh. my brain is so dead tonight HOGUDSHG i tag every single one of yall. everyone. all yall do it. yes.

nicknames:  my only nickname is nikki which is. also my middle name hgkjdhskjhg. (full middle name is nicole!!)

zodiac:  aries sun & rising, taurus moon!

height:  5′3″.......... cries loudly

time:  for spaghetti (10:17 pm est)

favorite band / artist:  i don’t rly have a specific favorite and just appreciate music across a large spectrum, but pink floyd was my childhood and is a dear band to my heart, so they’re a good example!!

song stuck in my head:  i just recently played through the main (not green stars, tho i’m about to do that!) campaign of galaxy and 2, so this is in my head right now, my absolute favorite song in the entire ost of either game.

last movie i saw:  my neighbor totoro!! can u believe i only just recently saw it for the first time? yeah... yea..........

last thing i googled:  ‘lays potato chips sodium’ bc i was making. comparisons. between junk foods i eat bc i’m a gremlin and am trying to be Less Of A Gremlin. (i’m not v good at that)

other blogs:  skubulbunt is my only other blog, my art blog! yes, that means no other rp blogs that are active. geno is my only muse and has been for... coming on two years in december or january??

do i get asks:  here and there!! thank u all for sending me things!!

why did i choose this username:  sternenteile is german for star bit. i was listening to a certain song from a certain popular indie game, the song of which has a german name. it inspired me. that. that was about it ghOUDSHGDg

following:  271! including a lot of inactives tho hgouhsgoug... real number is probs a lot smaller if u dont count those ;;;;

average amount of sleep:  in terms of actual night-time sleep, probably between 5-8 hours nowadays. but then we have to factor in naps. so. uh. idek anymore. heck.

what i’m wearing (right now):  a set of short-sleeved pastel bunny pajamas!!

dream job:  at this point, i’m so tired and lacking in Spoons™ to even know at this point. i was interested in graphic design, but decided against it because the industry is super cutthroat. i’d love to work with animals or some sort of psychoanalytical or psychological job, though... or to work for nintendo of america in some way, shape, or form omfg.

dream trip:  i’ve alwaaays wanted to visit the uk. i have good friends there, plus there is so much lovely stuff to see there. i prefer the less extravagant, more humble areas of the uk, at that. it just seems so cozy.

favorite food(s):  buffalo wings are my lifeblood. i’m p. sure my blood is buffalo wings. fried chicken and mashed potatoes are both v. close. i also would kill for good pernil (a kind of puerto rican roasted pork) and mondongo (a kind of beef tripe stew), talking about my latine heritage. i would bust one whole asscheek for those.

play any instruments:  god no lmao i have no musical talent whatsoever

eye color:  deep brown! those are some classic boricua eyes for u lmao

hair color:  also deep brown, same as above!

languages you speak:  what’s absolutely depressing is that, despite my closeness and pride over my heritage, i am shite at spanish. i only know a very tiny amount of it. english is otherwise my first and only fluent language. i’ve tried to learn spanish for years upon years ever since childhood, and try as i might, i still can’t grasp it. i guess my brain isn’t very oriented to be multilingual...

most iconic song:  uhhh for what. for whom. for me? for geno? for me, this one is a childhood favorite. for geno, come sit down and cry in tandem with me.

random fact:  i’m super into video game glitchery, coding, and programming. i may not be able to understand some of it, but nothing gives me more joy than figuring out how games tick and how to utterly break them from the inside-out.

describe yourself as aesthetic things:  a bag of chicken nuggets, a single egg, a basket of fluffy kittens, a massive hutch full of hungry rabbits, a disgustingly pink bedroom with not a single darker color in sight, a purple game boy color under the sheets with a flashlight, fluffy dresses, an amassment of pixilation forming an unidentifiable eldritch abomination... just. y’know. stuff.