#NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO BLACK WOMEN WHEN WE HAVE SENSE

[xqueen-of-disasterx]

You’ll be a star

Paring: camgirl!fem!reader x dads!bestfriend!Nat

Summary: Natasha couldn’t help yourself when she saw her favorite girl.

Warnings: SMUT, recording, dom!Nat, sub!reader, nipple play, clit play, fingering, pet names, mommy kink, mask, kink, G!P Nat, praise kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex,

!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!

Masterlist

"And you are really comfortable with this" you asked your voice was small almost like a whisper. "I want to do this bunny, I mean it." She answered her voice full of confidence. She had agreed to help you with your life stream under the condition of not showing her identity which you of course respected. She was after all I known business women. You stranded her lap pulling the black baclava covering everything except a pair of piercing green eyes up to plant a reassuring kiss to the older woman’s lips. 

"I’m sure you’ll do great just be yourself and pretend no ones watching" You whispered against her lips pulling the mask down again. You turned to your camera and laptop seeing your reflection on the screen in front of you. Natasha wore a pair of faded jeans and a black wife beater making showing off her muscular build; looking at you you almost felt uncomfortable at your lack of clothing only wearing a matching set of white lingerie with small strawberries on them. "Are you ready?"

"I’m ready" she stated and you could see the excitement in her eyes after all Natasha wasn’t thought she was dreaming when out of all people you stood in the kitchen of your 2 days ago father. She had never meet you before after all you spend most of your time away at uni only coming home for the holidays or breaks. She happened to visit too in your two week visit in the summer break. She knew your face, of course she did, it was the face she jerked off to every night. You stood lend against the counter looking ever so innocent as your sweet lips curl into a smile as you spoke with your father; if he would only knew what his daughter was doing on the internet. And now she sat on your bed ready to experience everything with you. 

"The safe word is read" She reminded you "I won’t listen to stop sweetheart" You nodded turning to the laptop to press the record button starting the life stream. You sat back next to Nat as you saw the first few messages flooding in. 

Winter_Solidier: A guest? 

User85477439: Why the long wait?

User36298696: We missed you

You read out loud. "Umm… yes I’ve thought we spice it up with our guest here" Natasha nodded smirking under her mask you still weren’t quite comfortable doing this in front of a camera which made you so appealing to her, as if there was still a sense of innocence in you. 

— 

"Show them your pretty little tits bunny" Natasha smirked rolling er thumbs over your erected nipples. She held you to her chest, your back laying against her chest as she showed off your chest to the camera as you made pathetic noises in response. "Good girl" You moaned she had been teasing you seemingly endlessly never moving away from your breasts. Natasha glanced onto the screen reading through the messages

Denver-C donated $50: stop teasing her fuck her already 

User839236973: bring the guest more often 

"Mommy please" You whined out grinding against the air in desperate to find some kind of friction. "What’s the matter bunny you need to use your big girl words" You huffed throwing your head back as she twisted your already over stimulated nipples. "I- I need you" you whined your hips still buckling as Nat chuckled. "But I’m having so much fun you’re so sensitive" she taunted you "Wanna try making you cum just by your nipples" You shook your head winning in disagreement not expecting Nat to be so cruel. 

"Your viewers are betraying you" she laughed "They all want to see if you can cum from your tits" You were soaked as your juices were sticking to your thighs already. Natasha changed your position laying you down on the soft cushion as she latched on your breasts biting and tugging on them. You started to clench around nothing and your moans grew louder "Mhm mommy- ’m close" She chuckled before biting down again "Does my baby want to cum? Should I let you come" she whispered agist your skin "I think you wear good girl cum for me sweet girl" You didn’t need more to release your climaxing a scream soaking your panties in your cum. 

"Look at that baby, you made a mess all over the sheets" She chuckled hooking her fingers into your panties and pulling them your soft legs. "Such a messy girl" she coo’d against your soft skin. She manhandled you to sit in he lap again showing off your cunt to the camera keeping your legs spread with her her strong hands. "Don’ be shy baby girl show them what you’ve got"

"Natasha please" you pleaded, wanting nothing more then to be filled up by the older woman "What sweetheart, you need to use your words" You whined out, why had she to be so cruel. "I need you, fingers, cock I don’ care I need it now." She laughed at your desperate state "Should I let her have it?" She asked your viewers who are flooding the chat with donations or messages. 

"You got lucky sweetheart your chat is feeling generous" One of Natasha’s fingers trailed down to your gapping hole plugging it. She groans feeling how tight you actually were. You felt even better than she had imagined it. She started to move inside of you the heel of her hand rubbing over you clit. She stroked over your G- spot deciding to add a second finger to prepare you for her cock. 

She moved in and out pushing her fingers repeatedly into your tight heat. You threw your head back on her shoulder whimpering in her ear. "Are you close bunny" She coo’d and you nodded "Cum bunny cum for me" You climaxed over her hands your juices tripping down her hands. She brought up her fingers to your lips. "Open up bunny" Natasha pushed two finger down your throat making your eyes water. 

After she let you lick our own slick off her fingers her removed her hands from her mouth letting you catch your breath. She removed her jeans leaving them to pile at her ankles to tuck her boxers to her mid thigh revealing her lengthy hard on standing proud against her stomach. You were in an awe as you watched her jerk a few timer over her length before looking at you. 

"You can take that right?" You nodded still feeling a bit unsure she was bigger than anything you had taken yet. You strangled her lap Natasha gripping your hip to help you sink down on her cock. You felt a delicious stretch as Natasha bottomed you out. She let you adjust to her grit before you started to roll your hips. "Jus’ like that bunny" She moaned feeling your thighs heat against her shaft. "Good girl" 

She moved her hand from your hip to her to your breast rolling her thumbs over our overstimulated nipples. You had your hands on her shoulders moving your hips up and down moaning in pure lust. You knew she was just as close as you were. She started to thrust up desperate for an release inside of you. The thought of calming you with her seed inside of your womb made her go crazy. 

"Fuck" She panted "I’m gonna fucking cum inside of you, gonna fucking claim they tight littl’ pussy" With a last moan you came with her, your orgasms being triggered by the feeling of her painting your insides white. She had an iron grip on your hips to keep your hips moving to help you through your orgasm. You whimpered in overstimulation as she pulled you from her cocks showing of the mess between your legs. She sound of the donations was annoying her so she decided to hit the stop button taking care of you instead of further entertaining the creeps on the internet. 

—

"You’re gonna be a str Tasha they are loving you" you said in an awe as you scrolled through the comments of your lifestream. You laid in her arms as she kissed your temple. "I have to say it has a little kick" She smirked "But maybe I’ll Just keep you for myself Now" 

:)

I do not own these characters all rights go to Marvel

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Diahann Carroll (Paris Blues, Carmen Jones, Porgy and Bess)— Face of an angel. She had the range. She brought chemistry with every romance she portrayed. She also had a great fashion sense, and was so pretty Mattel made a doll based off of her.

We are in the quarterfinals of the Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Propaganda is not my own and is on a submission basis. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Diahann Carroll:

Another groundbreaking black actress, although she might be better remembered for her television roles. She was also an activist and worked with charities to support women in need.

here she is hanging out with shadow prince anthony perkins :3

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

[hadesoftheladies]

actually, I DID have gender dysphoria as a teenage girl without being exposed to anything about it on the internet, on top of "racial dysphoria" and body dysmorphia

there were points I DID want to kill myself because i wasn't, or bleach my skin or change my body, i would have done anything to be a white boy at one point

which is both sad and funny to me because i remember two of my then good friends explain being enby and transgender to me and me being like "that doesn't make any sense" and it's because of trans-discourse we eventually broke up. the closest i ever got to accepting trans-ideology was transmedicalism with weak support for "queer" culture. i did not understand pronouns, but i understood dysphoria. but i did not understand how one could be a man or woman without the sex characteristics.

how did i heal?

one, i left church. that was one of the places i was most scrutinized for my physical body. two, i distanced from my parents, especially my mom. who often made my ocd and body-image worse (not because she was mean, but because she was always fretting about "decency"). three, i focused on bettering my personal space. writing, reading, watching my comfort shows, getting the focus off me. four, i started eating better, and my body became less burdensome. i stopped getting horrible period pain. five, i surrounded myself with self-confident women and stopped trying to resurrect toxic friendships with girls and boys (especially boys). started eliminating each toxic friend and focusing my efforts on healthier relationships. six, i'd started educating myself on my own history, watching and listening to more black and African people. even when i didn't enjoy what they made or resonate with it, i found i appreciated the experience and could allow myself to hate or love whatever i found.

by the time i discovered radical feminism, this was like, the final step for me: consuming women-centric literature and media. this was HUGE. i'd see paintings and photography of women in all shapes, colors and sizes. i'd listen to master musicians, read women philosophers, anthropologists, etc. this started mending a lot of what caused initial disquiet when it came to my dysphoria or dysmorphia.

basically, i took myself out of bad environments (especially those which force you to scrutinize every detail about yourself, like social media, i took long breaks from that), drew boundaries with people i couldn't get rid of, learned about myself (ocd, dyscalculia, anxiety, female biology) so that i developed understanding and could empathize, stopped centering men and white people.

now, while there's still a hint or trace of dysmorphia and dysphoria, it doesn't plague my life. it's like the occasional itch. more of a mild temptation to go down a dark hole than an actual threat. and i've learned how to handle those.

i learned the root of things. not just my history, but the root of how society worked and how it affected me. and i'm still learning, and my life is still improving.

so yeah, girls and women going through this is normal and common. anyone who is used to who they are being shameful is more at risk (like gnc lgb kids), but you can recover. usually better if you get out of the places that are making you sick.

[diediegamchicothdie]

First thank u @queenoftheundergroundscene for the Varg's cringe love letter

Now

Who is Lullaby Oliveira and why varg hates Brazil???? (Beside he's racist)

Lullaby is a black metal musician and artist from Brazil who highlights the sexual element on black metal (she writes stories about fuck with demons), and she the front girl of underground band Lullaby which had the peak of popularity on 90's.

How did she meet Varg? We don't know, she probably met Euro (he liked to talk with everyone in metal's world because he was a 🦜🦜) first and then she "spoke" with Varg, and I said "spoke" because she never answered, probably she died in cringe, my girl was talking about fuck demons and he introduced to her with "Southron" lol.

So, I just did this post to show this meme

(Instagram: meijemsimplol recuerden que soy una presa política por meta)

Maybe Faust cannot take revenge for his best friend murder, but at least he can get married with a Brazilian baddie!!!!!

And remember:

Southron Lullaby!

This is the manifest of male magic, this is the lidless eye, Count Grishnackh of no colors. Your letter was very interesting.

It was not long nor informative.... But it gave me a feeling of wonder. After reading it I thought of women of secret shadow.

As if beauty was their voice.....Calling for males to follow them into the shadows of the woods where evil lurks,

evil creatures and spirits who no one dare belive in. Among theese creatures....the nymph...the woman! I got this feeling that you

where sutch a "woman" tempting me to follow you. Write "Count I'm in the fell ... follow me ... "Lullaby" I think most males would

blindly follow you....without thinking about where you would take them. Mayby that is your goal? Mayby I should belive you when you

say you are Lucifer's? I recognized myself a lot. I enjoy to capture the love of females...It strengthen me. Also I drink virgin blood

whenever I can. And of course steal the virigin of many young beautiful, innocent, kind, unknowing girls. By playing music I geta lot of

worshipp! People worshipp time, feelings, etc. to me by listening to my music! So my power increase. I know that! Now I can do mostly

what I want to do... I can not cast lightning from my hands or sutch feary stuff. But acts to make people cry without

reason, make girls fall in love, or to sense others powers and feelings. Things like that. I think you have some cunning plans not

only beauty. You will never get my soul. I collect souls myself. I'm not to be collected. I have no love or good feelings.

I exist purely to get power. Power that will give me a place in the dark land where shadows lie. Where I will serve the dark lord.

Spread my lidless eye.

your "tempting" words...

PS I'll gladly have more pics.

Count Grishnackh.

Pd: he said "plz sand bobs and vagene" in Norsk

[ashwhowrites]

Rockstar! Eddie Munson x Reader, so what if he met reader at some concert and they ended up hooking up, then Reader got pregnant and she told Eddie (like idk, maybe she saw him somewhere, or he gave her his number?) so he was scared at first but then he tried to help her in everything she needed, after some months they started dating, and then they had a girl, and Eddie was like full on dad mode? (I imagine like Eddie being scared about it, bc he liked Reader but they kind of "hate" each other, but it's bc they don't know each other very well, and also I imagine him talking with Wayne, and Wayne being like don't be scared, you're gonna be a great dad, or something like that?) Idk if this made sense, but I hope it does!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Eddie couldn't help but let the tears run down his face when Y/N handed over their baby girl. Y/N was exhausted, sweat in her hair but Eddie thought she looked as beautiful as the day he met her. She closed her eyes for much-needed rest, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts and a tiny baby in his arms.

He rocked the baby gently, remembering all the mini-lessons Wayne gave him throughout Y/N's pregnancy. He prepared for this day for the last 9 months, yet he felt like he was in over his head. But he focused on the way his heart exploded with so much love for the two girls in front of him. The very two girls who changed his life for the better and showed him what falling in love was like.

As Eddie listened to the little cries of his daughter, he couldn't help but reflect on everything that got him to this exact spot.

~~~

The adrenaline ran through his veins as he raced off the stage, his shirt glued to his chest with sweat, and the screams echoing in his ears.

Eddie headed straight to the nearest bar and drank until he barely remembered a thing. Some sweet voice in his ear, a soft pair of lips on his, and hands removing his clothes. It was all a blur, he woke up alone but the taste of her was on his tongue.

He went to sleep every night trying to rack his brain to remember her, even a tiny glimpse. He swore he felt her touch still and her scent lingered on the shirt he wore that night.

But Eddie was used to one-night stands so he figured she'd be another figure he fell asleep with but wouldn't wake up to see again.

And boy was he wrong.

~

He felt like he was going to throw up. A beautiful girl, who he learned was Y/N, sat across from him with a sick expression. A number called and called him over and over, it was driving him insane so he finally picked up. He did not expect a girl on the other line to say she was pregnant with his baby.

Sadly, he had to take precautions with his level of fame. He knew getting blacked out drunk with random women was a dangerous game, he just thought he was smart enough to not have consequences.

"How...we sure...proof it's mine?" Eddie squeaked out. The confident man, who held all the charisma in his smirk, was not across from her. The big rockstar who loved the spotlight seemed frozen and scared. His eyes didn't know where to look, so he looked everywhere. His fingers were pressing into his palm, and she guessed he would leave marks on his nails.

"Yes, I know it's yours. And look I know you have this whole touring the world and being a rockstar. I've been a fan of you for years so I know this is a dream you waited forever for, and since we aren't in a relationship and it was a one-night stand, it's your choice if you want to be involved or not. You have my number, use it if you want." She said, she slid over a small ultrasound picture and left the small diner.

Eddie's eyes locked on the photo and he couldn't breathe. The tiny blob made his heart race with anxiety and his stomach twisted in so many knots. If he was terrified of the tiny thing in that picture, he couldn't imagine having a whole baby.

He was torn. In so many ways it would be easier to act like it didn't happen. To continue the tour and never think about it again. She allowed him to run, but yet he didn't want to run away from her. She haunted his memory and he tried for months to figure out who that girl was that he remembered feeling. And now that he saw her, he wanted to see her face again and again.

He found himself trusting her. Not doubting her an inch. His manager told him to demand a DNA test of some sort before Eddie "ruined" his career, but her eyes were honest. He felt like he already knew her and knew she'd always be true to him. She wanted him to have his dream still, but it wasn't fair to pick a dream with a time limit over a child's life....his child's life.

~

Whenever Eddie was stuck in life, he flew to Hawkins and knocked on that tiny trailer. No matter how many times Eddie begged Wayne to let him pay for a big home, Wayne refused. He loved his life in his small trailer.

Eddie told Wayne everything, embarrassed as Wayne gave him that disapproving look when Eddie told him about all the one-night stands.

"And now she's pregnant. It's up to me to be involved or not. " Eddie said, biting his nails as he watched Wayne for an answer.

"And?" Wayne asked, his arms crossed as he eyed the nervous boy.

"And what?"

"What are you telling me for? Don't you tell me that you want me to tell you what to do, boy?" Wayne said, Eddie has been scolded by Wayne many times in his life, and somehow this felt scarier.

Eddie gulped but nodded his head in defeat. "I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to be a dad. I don't know how to take care of myself. I'm irresponsible and don't even have a solid place to live since I planned to be on the road. I don't have anything good to offer her or this child."

"Get over here," Wayne grunted, he uncrossed his arms.

"Are you going to hit me?" Eddie asked, slowly moving towards him.

"No." With the green light, Eddie walked over, he opened his arms thinking Wayne was going to offer a comforting hug. But instead, he got a smack to the back of his head.

"YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO HIT!" Eddie yelled, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head.

"Of course, I'm gonna knock some sense into you, kid! You don't know how to be a dad because you don't have the experience. No one knows how to be a parent until they learn. They have classes and books, and I'll help you. I wasn't a dad until you came along, and I'm proud of who you became. I started with no idea what to do but I made it work. You are going to do the same. Unlike you, she doesn't get the option to run away. And you are not letting her do this alone. Understood?" Wayne demanded.

"Understood."

~~~

Y/N was very shocked when Eddie called and asked to talk. She figured he'd take the opportunity to run and never looked back.

But as her stomach grew, so did her feelings for Eddie. He was the sweetest boy she ever met. He was terrified, but he held it together for her. Whenever she read another birthing book and felt like she was going to panic, he was right there.

When she hit around 5 months, she confessed her complicated feelings towards Eddie. To her surprise, he felt the same. All that time planning for their baby brought them closer together and they understood they'd have a connection to each other that they wouldn't experience with someone else.

Their first kiss, not drunk, was something they both would remember. It wasn't at a huge romantic place with candles everywhere. It was in their own home, in the nursery as Eddie put together the little crib. They were so overwhelmed with the emotion of having a family together and Eddie couldn't wait. He desired to kiss her since the diner and he felt fireworks in his stomach when he first placed his lips on hers.

After a few months passed and she was weeks away from giving birth, Eddie ended his tour early. He made sure he never left her side. Even though their relationship was freshly new, he moved in with her. He wanted to be there all the time for her and their baby. He knew he was in love with her, and he didn't plan to let her go anyway. So why wait?

Wayne was proud, and damn excited to be a grandpa. He turned Eddie's old room into a nursery and begged to babysit whenever it was needed. Wayne fell in love with Y/N within seconds of meeting her. He understood why Eddie was so sure about her.

Eddie read all the books and did all the classes, which meant he might have been too involved.

"Can you sit fine? I can help you." Eddie said through the bathroom door. A loud sigh left Y/N's lips.

"Edward, I told you for the last three hours that I can pee by myself!"

~

"Book says you shouldn't be on your feet this long. Why don't you sit." Eddie said as he quickly through the groceries into the cart.

"Sit where? It's a grocery store." Y/N laughed, having no issues walking through the store.

"Here," Eddie said as he took off his jacket and placed it on the dirty floor.

"Eddie, ew! And I'm not sitting on the floor. There's no way I'll get back up."

~

"Did you cook with the safe foods? Do you have the list of things she can't eat?" Eddie asked as Wayne brought over three plates.

"Edward" both Wayne and Y/N groaned

~

"Lady! You need to move faster. You are holding up the line!" A man groaned as Y/N tried to keep her composure.

"There's a line in front of me! I can't go anywhere, asshole!"

"I hope your bastard of a child doesn't get that kind of lip." The man laughed like his joke was funny. She could feel Eddie tensing as he joined the line next to her. He arrived at the wrong time...or the right time?

Before she could react, Eddie came swinging. His right knuckle cracked against the man's nose. The man dropped to the floor in a groan.

"Don't talk to her like that and don't ever speak about my child like that," Eddie growled.

~

And when it came the day her water broke, he felt more prepared than ever. He held her hand and tried not to flinch as she squeezed it until she cracked his bones. He drove as fast and safely as he could to the hospital. His brain couldn't wrap around the thought that his daughter was hours from being born.

This was finally it

He was going to be a dad

~~

"And now I'm your dad and I'm going to love you more than anything in this world. Your mom is amazing and I can't wait to watch you grow up to be just like her." Eddie whispered, the baby falling asleep to his story as he continued to rock her.

He looked up to see Y/N fast asleep, and he couldn't help but feel a strong amount of love for the two sleeping beauties that were now always going to be part of his life.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger

[heavenlymorals]

Do you have any tips for how to write Arthur Morgan’s personality in general? I’m trying to write a fic but I feel like no matter what I do it somehow just makes him feel out of character haha. It’s probably since I’m writing one with a reader/oc character x Arthur. Like I don’t want to remove Mary from the story because she shaped so much of his character’s pain (since in my opinion I assume that Arthur probably got Eliza with child from a one night stand trying to bounce back after Mary had told him that she was engaged to some other man). But I also don’t know how to really write Arthur as he’s completely over Mary and how he is instead with someone he considers the love of his life, cheesy I know but I had too haha. I’m also trying to somewhat do a slow burn and trying to instead have Arthur seemingly brood over his love for the reader rather than how he did with Mary in the game.

I don’t know if this makes sense and feel free to ignore it LOL

Ahah here goes nothing- my consensus on a general understanding of Arthur Morgan-

I think the biggest thing that people should focus on when writing Arthur is his personality differences between men and women. There is a pretty clear divide between how behaves with men compared to how he behaves with women. It can change slightly between how close he is with the people, but it's pretty much the same.

With women, Arthur is very respectful and chivalrous. He even gets mad at other men if they don't behave accordingly. He is more interested in them as well in the sense that he'll listen to their dreams and hobbies and either add to the conversation or encourage them in some way that seems more meaningful, even if it can be at times superficial, just a way to be polite. However, he is no push over. You know that meme that's like "Me and my girl don't argue, she tells me to shut the fuck up and I do"? Yeah, that is NOT Arthur. He can raise his voice, call them out, etc etc. when he feels disrespected in some way or if the person is doing something stupid. We see this with Mary, Sadie, and Abigail. He is also more likely to talk about his emotions with women, but not really BE emotional. Idk if that makes sense, but I don't know how else to say it.

However, Arthur is more inclined to be disrespectful to women who don't fit into his view of life and the status quo of the time (ie. Prostitutes, masculine women, etc.)

Honestly, just think of that when writing him with your oc (I'm going to assume they're a woman 😭). Is Mary a big part of Arthur's character? Yes and no. He can obviously make time for her, but she isn't controlling his every action and thought process. His main focus is the collective of the gang and once the gang is safe, that's when he'll actively start looking for love because that's when he'll have the time and energy for it.

Now with men, Arthur is much more rough. He is very much a suck it up kinda guy with other dudes. There is clearly a hierarchy in the game and he enforces it, especially with the men underneath him. He forces them to work, doesn't take their excuses really, will call them out, will be mean, and will even make threats (ie. Sean). He likes men who are hard workers and are always on the go (Lenny) and is more likely to be jovial, open, and willing to talk. He also will take NO shit from other men and that will either leave the other man read to filth or a black eye. Arthur also does not disclose feelings of fear or inadequacy to other men, but he will show more active emotions like joy or anger.

Honestly, whenever I feel like writing Arthur, I just think of the average older American outdoorsman and it helps me out pretty well. Chivalrous and respectful with expectations and a no bullshit attitude.

Hope this helps and happy writing 🫶🏼

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 6 all chapters

TRIGGER WARNINGS - I'm so bad at these, feels kinda redundant in a yandere fic, BUT this chapter mentions violence against women, NOT between u & john.

-It's not two days later that a teenage girl goes missing. The town rises up in a tizzy. Everyone volunteers in search parties in the woods. But deep down, you know they should be looking for a beat-up Dodge van. You tell the police, and they take it down, though you doubt they're taking you seriously. The tip lines always go crazy when something like this happens. They’ll have mountains of information to comb through.

The very next day she appears at the police station, bruised, traumatized, but miraculously alive. A burned-out Dodge van is found later in the woods on the other side of town. The girl can't remember much about how she got free, just that someone saved her. She didn't get a good look at him. It all happened so fast.

The next day, Mr. Wick comes into the coffee house with a nasty scrape on his cheek. His eyes have a hard glint to them, sharp as obsidian. 

Somehow, you just know. 

On your break you slowly lower yourself into the seat across from him. 

He doesn't look up at you. 

“What happened to your face?” you ask quietly. 

“Tree branch.”

He's probably telling the truth, but you know there's more to it. You're not sure what you want to ask. You don't want to out him. You wouldn’t have evidence even if you did. You're glad someone was able to find that poor girl, and whatever happened to those men...good riddance.

You realize you are just sitting there staring at him with your lips parted when finally he lifts his eyes to you. 

You feel utterly pinned by his piercing gaze, and your question about the van and what happened to the guys in it dies on your lips. Even you know it would be stupid to mention it, here. Somehow, you’re still brave enough to ask a different question burning in your mind.

“Before you retired... were you a cop?” 

He snorts a little at that. 

“Hardly.” 

You nod, mostly to yourself. With a house like the one he lives in? Of course he wasn’t.

“Ok.”

You realize, you don’t really want to think on it too hard. It doesn’t matter, anyway.

You stand to go, but he touches your hand, ever so lightly. Still, it’s enough to make you freeze in your tracks. If you had any sense, it would be out of fear.

When it comes to Mr. Wick though, you’re afraid you have no sense.

 “Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we good?”

“Yes.”

You answer emphatically and you mean what you say. You listen to the news and probably to too many true crime podcasts, but it’s still easy to forget sometimes in your little town that the world's a big bad place. You're glad there's someone who can balance it out a little bit in the right direction, even if that someone has to go a little bit outside the law. You squeeze his hand, and it seems like that's enough assurance for him.

He goes back to his book, and you go back to work.

Later, you bring him a pastry, the coffee cake you’ve noticed he likes on occasion.

“What’s this for?”

You don’t know why you find the suspicion in his tone endearing.

“For taking care of us,” you answer. It’s hard not to fancy Clear Forks has gained its very own avenging angel in black. Whether he came from Up Above or Down Below doesn’t matter to that girl, and you find, it doesn’t matter to you.

[lloveliayork]

✧ obx men as sex and the city men ✧

rafe: you and rafe are sooo mr. big and carrie. i mean come on, rafe is a powerful and dominant man who can have any women stuck in a situationship, and who started those? mr. big!! just like mr. big would call carrie any time he felt as if she was moving on, any time rafe would get the slightest feeling of you actually leaving, he would have you right where he wanted you.

you enter the taxi cab, your feet worn from dancing all night. tyler, the man you met at the club was nothing but kind, a bit bland, but kind. still, you couldn’t wait to get home and strip away the memories of the night.

your silence was interrupted from a loud ping, a text from an unsaved number reading, “you have a nice night?”

assuming it was tyler, you flipped your phone and decided to wait till morning. as you slumped in your seat, you’re phone scares you, again, with loud vibrations. confused, you reluctantly pick up the phone.

“hello?”

“turn around”

you turn, only to be faced with the black car you and rafe shared so many memories in.

“miss me?”

jj: i was going to give him steve for his comedic stupidity, but there is nothing like smith!!! not only do they resemble each other, they’re also both young and immature compared to you, a samantha. samantha knows what she wants, and here comes a blue eyed blonde to change everything for her! his charm and personality is able to keep you for more than just sex, but he’s also able to build a relationship beyond the four corners of your bed.

the sex was good, really good, but you knew you were staying far too long. as to not wake jj, you silently shimmy out of bed to be met with the cold hardwood floors. as you make your way off the bed, you feel a warm yet firm arm around your wrist.

“now what did i tell you about leaving so soon?” he said softly.

“i dunno, we usually have sex then leave.” secretly, you hated leaving the warmth of his bed, leaving behind the night you shared with him, but it was part of your routine now.

he rolled his eyes in response, “that’s not happening anymore mama, come to bed we’ll talk tomorrow”

if it were any of your other promiscuous hookups, you wouldn’t think twice about leaving. but damn, those blue eyes did something to you.

pope: pope is so harry!! for so long people overlooked pope, just as charlotte overlooked men like harry. but harry was an angel and such a smart man, you just HAD to love him! he would listen to you, make you feel so important, and introduce you to a world you couldn’t have ever imagined for yourself. think of when charlotte was wearing her glasses and didn’t feel beautiful, but harry thought she was the sexiest woman in the world. is that not our beloved pope?

“honey, it’s just that those bifocals are a bit intimidating” sarah giggled.

your new prescription arrived, and yes the prescription was really strong, and yes they were practically falling of your face, but you still tried to look your best in them.

the pogues had spent the last few minutes poking at your glasses, the ones you now decided are stupid glasses.

“whatever”, you told them, “how about you guys start getting the boards ready instead of worrying about my glasses?”

they giggle and nod in return, headed out to the sandy beach. pope lingers, and once everyone was gone, he leaned down and whispered, “don’t worry about them, i think your glasses make you look sexy.” he shoots you a wink before following the rest. you cant help but feel warmed by pope’s compliment, knowing you chose the right one.

johnbee: our starboy last, aiden shaw! aiden was the perfect man, and reminds me of jb so much. both are down to earth, nature oriented, strong willed, protective, and overall amazing men. you, more girly and polished as a carrie, are able to blend with his nomadic sense of life as he adapts to the glitz and glamour of your life!

“johnbeeee”

“yes y/n” he sighed.

“i did not pay 650 american dollars for jimmy choo heels to be brought to a dinky beach where they will only be completely tarnis-“

john b cuts you off before you rant on and on (he knows you too well).

“listen, i will carry your shoes, hell i’ll even carry you. i want you to enjoy this with me, i have a surprise on the boat for you thats even better than those himmy whos.”

you smile in relief, knowing your boyfriend truly understands you (and your spoiled ways).

a/n: such a weird mix but two of my favorite shows combined to make a beautiful blend!! (hopefully reaches target audience). let me know what else you would like to see, tips or advice, or if you want a continuation/au!!

big sister advice of the day: after brushing your teeth, let the toothpaste sit on your teeth for about 15-30 seconds. easiest way to improve the whiteness of your smile.

[raisedbythetv89]

I genuinely don’t understand how people can watch the body swap episode and enjoy seeing Faith inhabit Buffy’s body and WORSE objectifying (Faith)Buffy being like “omg she’s so hot she slayed so hard I love Buffy in black leather”

Not only is SMG’s FRIGHTENING thinness even more apparent in Faith’s traditional wardrobe showcasing just how much she is practically skin and bone due to her being under immense stress and being so overworked which always just tears at my heart in so many ways but we are witnessing the WORST violation of Buffy’s body and autonomy!!!! I’m genuinely just sick the entire episode.

Bad enough she almost gets Buffy killed and finally gets her wish of (temporarily) stealing Buffy’s life which she has wanted to do since her arrival in season 3 (only to STILL not understand Buffy’s perspective until she does it again in a far less invasive way in season 7 after Buffy allowed her back into her home and she still never properly apologizes she’s like hehe turns our your life is actually pretty miserable and I don’t want it because I can’t handle the stress and constant pressure you’re under…. Oops!🙃) but unlike when Willow takes Buffy’s free will and autonomy away (where she at least still retains all the memories after the fact of everything that happened so she doesn’t have to wonder and can process them when she’s ready) Buffy has ZERO CLUE what all Faith allows to happen to her body while she’s not in it. And Faith isn’t unaware or passive about the power she holds and the things she can do to Buffy’s body in the position she’s in - she literally tells Riley, BEGS HIM - to do all of the nastiest things he’s ever wanted to do “to this body” she WANTS Riley to do things to Buffy’s body Buffy herself WOULD. NOT. ALLOW. it is one of THE MOST insidious lines in the entire series to me because not only is that an absolutely stomach churning, bone-chilling thing to say but then after the fact when angel asks what Faith did to upset Buffy so much she’s like “I slept with her boyfriend” like UMMMM WHAT??? EXCUSE ME???? That is literally the absolute LEAST of your crimes bitch be so fucking for real. This horrific violation is minimized down to oh well Buffy is just insecure about sex and especially sex in comparison to Faith like GROSS GROSSSSSSS. The entire thing is SO DISGUSTING and misogynistic AND it is part of why I genuinely do not give A FUCK about the events of seeing red as far as my love of spuffy goes because while that was absolutely the most traumatizing to watch not only was it so completely out of left field and out of character that it just doesn’t make sense in the narrative and is so obviously joss whedon coming over the loud speaker and going “women who enjoy sex with men I don’t approve of should and always will be punished” but it is the ONLY time someone hurts her in this way and PROPERLY APOLOGIZES AND MAKES THE PROPER AMENDS!!!!

So until EVERY. SINGLE. violation of Buffy’s body is treated with the same level of outcry seeing red is by all the anti-spuffys I genuinely DO NOT CARE. I DONT CARE because I’m just so done with spuffy girlies having that thrown in our faces by the morality police who are listening to the tiny white male puritanical cop in their head.

ALSO the fact that Riley not only doesn’t think ANYTHING is off about Buffy (when Faith is doing an absolutely HORRIFIC JOB of acting like Buffy) so he not only sleeps with her BUT TELLS HER HE LOVES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!??!?!?!? WHILE SHE IS LITERALLY PINNED BENEATH HIM?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! RILEY FINN I WILL KILL YOU IF IT IS THE LAST THING THAT I DO.

[novelconcepts]

Another year, another absurd amount of books read (296, because if I wasn't reading or writing this year, my brain was on fire). I was asked again for my top books of the year, so here we go: 2023's top 10, in no particular order.

This was the first book I read of the year--literally, vacated the hangout with my wife and sibling-in-laws to sit on their couch upstairs and eat through it. Do you love The Fall of the House of Usher, but wish for a nonbinary protagonist and a lot more mushrooms? This is the book for you! (T. Kingfisher is fucking rad, I made a concerted effort to only list ONE of her books on here, but honorable mention goes to The Twisted Ones for fucking me upppp.)

A gay, post-apocolyptic Pinocchio retelling involving copious robots, found family elements, and a cool-ass treehouse. Klune always hits for me with his unrepentant queer family dynamics and sense of humor. Honorable mention to the first two in the Green Creek series (although that's got a lot more...adult elements in among the werewolves, you've been warned).

I thiiiink I found this through The Homo Schedule podcast (PSA: if you missed out on Jasmin Savoy Brown and Liv Hewson doing a podcast together, now you know better), and it wrecked my shit. Tons of trigger warnings, as this is a memoir about abuse within a queer relationship, but it's so beautifully written. I personally suggest listening to the audiobook first, then standing anxiously behind someone at a book warehouse sale, hoping they'll set down the only paperback copy so you can swipe it.

A fantastical-historical reimagining in which the KKK is filled with literal monsters, and Black women are resistance fighters armed to take them out. Visceral and intense, and truly an excellent horror story.

Just. Such a soft time travel story about a daughter and her father and cherishing the time you get with loved ones. I was thoroughly unprepared for how lovely I found this one. It's very kind.

Spooky house, take-no-shit redhead, protective sibling elements, bisexual recluse with a sword who really just needs a nap. I haven't found a Harrow book yet I haven't slapped five stars on. She's so good at character and atmosphere, and I'm always surprised at how fast her stories race by.

The whole Daevabad trilogy (of which this is the first book) is just magical. A girl from the mortal world finds herself embroiled with the centuries-long prejudices and wars of djinn in a fantastical city. It's one of the rare stories of its kind that does have a love triangle, but doesn't feel like a love triangle; it's far less interested in the insufferable "who gets picked" than it is in the actual horrors these people are both perpetrating and coping with. It's an intoxicating ride.

Fuck You, TERFS: the book. Given that fact, there's obviously quite a lot of transphobia to deal with, but it's very clear that those people are wrong, and it's a super-engaging (and super-oh-god-what-comes-next) witchy time populated with queer, protective, interesting characters I'm excited to see again in the follow-up.

Have you ever wanted a haunted house story with visceral imagery and a rather lovely twist? Gailey has you covered. As much as I enjoyed The Echo Wife, I think I actually loved this one more, and it makes me so excited to see what else they've got up their sleeve.

One of my final reads for the year, when I was just churning through hardcovers at the speed of sound. I love this book. I recognize it won't be for everyone, but it takes so much of what I love about IT (one of my all-time favorite books, despite its flaws) and twists it through the lens of an author who escaped the Mormon church. It's horrific, it's fantastically abstract in places, it explores childhood and memory, imagination and abuse, and almost every character is queer. It's a great "I simply cannot sleep until I've finished" read.

[fumifooms]

Ok maybe kinda of a weird question you don't have to answer if you don't want to but I've seen some people saying that Chilchuck is canonically misogynistic so, as the Chilchuck especialist, do you have an opinion about that?

Anon you are brave and I love you. Listen if you, person reading this, get peeved or upset when people say Chilchuck might have had not insignificant flaws as a father and husband then probably stop reading here, we will be looking at Chilchuck like a petri dish and defile his pristine allure. Tldr: yes but actually no but really both at the same time aka people & social dynamics are complex and please let your blorbos be flawed. With that said I will be pretty casual and playful if that wasn’t clear already, sorry.

"Aren’t you happy to be in a harem party" "No it’s soul-crushing save me". Toshiro has been drinking his fear women juice since he was young, surrounded by an assassin nanny and her fellow assassin girlies, meanwhile Chilchuck having flashbacks of getting wrung out by his 4 women household…

Waiting on people is something we see he hates doing a couple times throughout canon and extras, here and how he says "it’s not a date" -bless his summer child heart- he frames being slow to get ready as a gendered trait to have? But I can forgive him for this one because honestly the framing of the whole page leans into that, it’s kinda questionable if we’re being highly critical of anything misogynistic or regressive. But it itself is the classic subversive "Women are desirable wallflowers— Wrong! They are a monstrous ruthless force that wears on the mind, body and soul" trope. I don’t fault Kui though, I got giggles from it, it makes sense for everyone’s characters, and Kui has never shied from gendered dynamics in her worldbuilding & characters so it’s not like she’ll write as if sex changes nothing and no one has opinions about it.

Alright alright let’s step back from analyzing this page specifically and get back to the question, is Chilchuck canonically misogynistic? It’s a complex question not because we don’t have hints but because it’s a very black and white answer to give and because misogynistic can be very wide or pretty narrow depending on how the term is applied.

What I would say? Yes, he is, in a realistic way that doesn’t automatically make him a piece of shit, though that doesn’t mean it isn’t uncomfortable or harmful. On the spectrum of misogyny he classifies to me as "It’s in the normalized lighthearted way of being a horny uncle who’s a little too loose about it around the dinner table", he’s a solid "He wants to treat women as pieces of meat and jokes about it but in actuality he’s a gentleman and a family careerman who has a job so he don’t really care about that rn".

Going back to Toshiro’s party, Chilchuck being weird about it being full of women doesn’t even happen only once but TWICE. I made a compilation of every time he’s crass, happens less than you might expect but the overall picture it gives throughout reading the manga is pretty straightforward. Repeatedly he’s shown to be dirty-minded and shown to objectify & sexualize women both lightheartedly and unprompted. They’re a punchline and they’re eye candy and it’s "of COURSE my succubus would be young women, of COURSE women would desire a muscled statue’s [redacted], of COURSE women are sexual beings and of course I am attracted to them".

Dungeon Meshi doesn’t bring up sexuality much and gendered dynamics tend to be more subtle than you’d expect from media in general, so there’s that, but I honestly struggle to think of any character that acts less normal about women existing than him. Like yeah he’s joking but Hien, Benichidori, Inutade and Maizuru were just breathing and doing their jobs. Who else’s misogynistic uhh, that guy working for the shadow governor that licks Cithis’ ear when she’s bound in ropes? The sheer jump from ‘makes demeaning jokes about women’ to ‘assaulter’ between these two, god.

Honestly it does feel odd to me that he’d be kinda demeaning like that about women even in a workplace setting —Chilchuck the union man out of everyone?— but Kui has spoken man idk, think what you will don’t shoot the messenger. It’s not like he’s weird about Namari? I guess he respects her too much- Wait that sounded wrong. Maybe it’s literally just because she and the other women party members are his direct coworkers, in line with his rule and all? But yeah, even if he canonically had a thing for blondes and pretty young women he has managed to only tease Marcille ceaselessly for fun & entertainment and make her hair extra shiny as his shapeshifter, you get a good behavior star there Chilchuck. He complains on waiting for Marcille to get ready in the barometz chapter and the first anime ED but he also does with Laios when he’s late to meet up the party in extras. He constantly pulls on Marcille to get her to safety as if she can’t protect herself but she’s referred to as clumsy a lot so he has that justified reasoning. He constantly berates everyone so no point to make there. He undermines Marcille’s opinions often but it’s because he dislikes mages and elves and idealism. Clearly Chilchuck knows women can be capable and clearly he can have women coworkers (and friends! Again, Namari) without belittling or sexualizing them, clearly he can be normal about women and knows that some of his attitude can be inappropriate. It’s just harmless fun to him, that he keeps for occasional playful banter and taverns and the ‘right’ moods.

And as I mentioned earlier! Chilchuck is also pretty gentlemanly and protective. As always desires vs wants and instinct vs rationality show up as themes. Yes his succubus aka his ideal, the deepest allure he can imagine, is beautiful naked women, but a chapter just before that was the bicorn, all about how faithful and virtuous he is, how his heart’s in the right place. His brain is virtuous but his heart is monkey. My point is that when it counts, aka 90% of the time and when things are serious, we don’t see signs of sexist bias and he treats women well. Often takes on a protector role or at the least takes them seriously, even Benichidori. He doesn’t want to hurt women or thinks they’re insignificant or anything. He’ll give a handkerchief to a woman in need with a slimy face.

Okay okay this is really entering speculation territory but in my own tally, the way he dismissed his wife’s ‘bad mood’ as some meaningless tantrum that he shouldn’t think any more deeply about, him starting out not reaching out to her as a resentful silent treatment, and her getting dissatisfied in the first place enough to leave makes me think he took her for granted and was kinda dismissive of her in general. Marcille’s theorical scenario is hypothetical and factually untrue at least in parts, but if we do follow it, him forgetting he’s out with his wife for once (in the precious counted time he’s home spending time with her) and not paying attention to her all outing, resulting in her being left out of conversations and just an ornament beside him the way she might have felt for a long time as his housewife waiting home for him to come back………

Editing this paragraph in: Okay I don’t know how I missed mentioning this but, when he’s asked why his wife left him, Chilchuck literally point blank thinks that being thought to have cheated on his wife is LESS SHAMEFUL than not knowing the reason why (due to poor communication skills or whatnot). It’s so ridiculous that it can be hard to see beyond it as a gag or twist, but make of this what you will but this is not a great look for his priorities and his view of women especially in regards to toxic masculinity, good lord. When I talk about him having a sense of being entitled to his wife and dismissive of her emotions that’s sort of what I mean. He thinks it’s better for people to think he mistreated his wife and did something terrible than just failed at keeping her affection for reasons he doesn’t grasp. His pride, both in giving her the silent treatment and doing damage control when talking about it to others like Marcille and coworkers, takes priority over their relationship and love.

Half-foots seem to be patriarchal. The last section of this essay’s chapter (not by me!) + combing through its half-foot chapter should give you insight on that if you want. It’s in their patronymic, it’s in the way marriage seems very important especially for women, and it’s in the implied gender roles, being a housewife whose life revolves around raising her husband’s kids and taling care of the family home waiting for her husband who’s out working to come back. I think Chilchuck is a bit a result of his environment and upbringing in that way, that most of the misogyny is internalized and subconscious and passive, it’s taking his wife for granted because not only does she trust her, his most precious person he’s known since he was a kid, but because she’s his wife, his woman, conceptually something that’s unwaveringly devoted, something that is very valued and enforced in half-foot communities. Here’s a short post on half-foot family bonds culturally + here’s a post on marriage and half-foots for more. The community aspect of half-foots is very strong, which makes sense especially for how empoverished and discriminated against they are, which does come at the expense of not unlike dwarves (dwarves which half-foots idolize) having more pressure to fit in and have a good reputation to not be cast out and have no support lines. By being scared and needing stability people will often be more conservative, etc etc, though the reverse is also often true, like Chilchuck with his union. But yes Chilchuck seems to have many biases he clings onto, harsh on especially Marcille and Laios, Marcille for her idealism, race and magic meanwhile Laios for his lack of social skills and ‘reckless’ behavior.

He also does the classic "Don’t you dare date my daughter!!", though it’s a bit up in the air because he only gets agitated about coworkers being suitors, not nearly as hostile to the idea when it’s some nameless dwarf. But y’know when a guy assumes every men is as horny and sleazy as they are so they’re like "never trust men"… Chilchuck does embody a lot the tropes of just, the everyday flawed middle aged man. The absentee father and careerman husband who does care despite it all. Disillusioned grumpy old man. Old divorced drunkard joe with a thing for cute young blonde women, as a friend put it.

We know Kui subverses tropes a lot, I definitely think Kui leans into these if nothing else for the bit. He’s tropes of the strict family Father, man doing inappropriate jokes around a beer with his drinking buddies, working man exhausted and frustrated by his job, midlife crisis. Also because of how he acts with Marcille, I always say he’s the boy on the playground pulling on the pigtails of his girl friend bc he thinks it’s funny. Because he thinks she’s pretty.

So point blank, Chilchuck respects women as individuals but he can get a little lost in the sauce when thinking about women in general and jumps to sexualizing them in ways that can be objectifying and dismissive. Casual lowkey misogyny for the bit that may or may not slip into non-jokes as well sometimes when it comes to seeing women as something inherently to defend or take for granted, though he’s well-meaning. He engages in gender roles of "men should be strong and burly" and "daughters should listen to their fathers’ opinion before dating a guy". A guy engaging in patriarchy without thinking much of it y’know, more or less passive and unaware. He’s good in economic and human rights issues but would not win the political correctness medal (though he does care about optics and is very conscious of appearing as upstanding and innocent with the elves or Toshiro’s and Kabru’s parties to avoid getting thrown in jail. Overcompensating for half-foot criminal reputations etc etc. Post on that here).

Do I believe Chilchuck would march for women’s rights? Yes. Do I believe he would make ‘ye old ball and chain’ and ‘my wife’ and ‘ah women’ jokes? Yes. Do I believe he would punch anyone making one such jokes about his wife or daughters? Yes.

I was pretty flippant bc honestly Chilchuck the Sleazy Horny Old Man is hilarious to me but yes hopefully the post was decent. "How could I be sexist? I love bitches"

[hp-hcs]

There’s like no genderneutral/male reader fics for Mattheo but then I found ur account and I’m like heart eyes. Can I plEASE have a Mattheo x ftm Reader (if you aren’t comfortable with ftm then just male reader is fine) I just want a happy ending pls

oHOHOHOH YOU ARE IN LUCK BABES CAUSE I’M FTM AND A HOE FOR FLUFF/HAPPY ENDINGS

based off of Queer as in Fuck You by the Dog Park Dissidents which if you haven’t heard it before, GO LISTEN TO IT NOW

the way this man could avada kedavra me and i’d thank him

queer as in fuck you — gay! mattheo riddle x ftm! pureblood! reader

tws: use of reader’s deadname; use of ‘miss’, she/her pronouns, and fem-specific language towards or about reader; discussion of an arranged marriage

Warning: the reader is referred to with she/her pronouns for pretty much all of the story (it makes sense in context i promise)

D/N = reader’s dead/given name

i used too many lyrics in this one ngl so anything in pink is from Queer as in Fuck You, alr? alr.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

‘I don't want to get married/ I don't want to be just like you/ Nobody bothered to ask me/ They said I ought to be just like you’

“Father, I don’t want to get married!” Mattheo seethed, storming after the Dark Lord through the halls of Malfoy Manor.

“Nonsense,” Lord Voldemort clicked his tongue. “It’s expected of you. You’ll marry a nice pureblood girl and start a family, just like I did.”

Mattheo smacked a hand against his forehead, groaning and muttering under his breath about this stupid fucking house.

“I don’t even like women!” Mattheo tried as a last ditch effort.

“Anyone with eyes could see that, my dear son.”

“And you still want me to go through with this anyway? Why didn’t anyone bother to ask me?!”

“Mattheo,” the Dark Lord interrupted his son’s tirade. “It’s happening whether you like it or not.”

‘I don't want to be equal/ 'Cause I know I'm fuckin' better than you/ Your moderation is lethal/ Get out of my way, let me do what I need to’

“Oh, and this is D/N,” your mother tittered anxiously as she rested a jittery hand on your shoulder. “Of course you know the L/Ns have always been quite faithful to you, my Lord.”

You grimaced at your mother’s ridiculous fawning over the Dark Lord. You sat at the Dark Lord’s long, imposing table, between your mother and father and across from Mattheo Riddle himself. Lord Voldemort had taken his usual seat at the head of the table, tapping his fingers in a rhythmic pattern as he listened to your parents’ offer with a pleased smirk.

You had a disgusted expression on your face as you sat there, laced up in a way-too-tight dress that your mother had forced you to wear, with itchy makeup that was clumping up in the corners of your eyes, and a sour grimace. You gave Mattheo a quick glance-over, rather unimpressed.

You knew girls at your school threw themselves at him; that he could get anyone he wanted with a wink and a smile. But all you could think about as you looked at him was how would I look if my hair was like that?

“We will accept your generous offer,” the Dark Lord said smoothly, startling you out of your thoughts. “I do believe that Miss D/N will make a perfect addition to the Riddle family, when she and my son come of age.”

In unison, you and Mattheo scoffed, leaned back in your respective chairs, and crossed your arms over your chests. Startled, you glanced at each other with wide eyes, both surprised by the similarity.

“You are excused, children,” the Dark Lord purred.

Glowering at the insinuation, you stomped off after Mattheo.

‘There's no protection that this nation-state can offer to me/ Just olive branches to the cis white gay bourgeoisie/ So fuck off with your rainbow-striped American flags/ The only colors that I need are the pink and the black’

“Hey, can I come in?”

Mattheo looked up. “Huh? Oh hey, D/N. You need something?”

You leaned against the doorway of his dorm room, you both now back at Hogwarts after the end of winter break.

“Not really. Just came to say hi.”

“Well, you’ve said it now, so…”

You pressed a hand to your chest in a mock-offended manner. “And here I was, trying to become friends with the guy I’m being forced to marry! Apologies, Mr. Riddle, I’d hate to take up any more of your precious time.”

He snickered. “Come in, dipshit.”

“That’s more like it. Here, look what I brought,” you plopped down on his bed, him scooting over to make more room for you. With a devilish grin, you pulled an entire bottle of Firewhiskey out of your schoolbag.

“How’d you get your hands on that, Miss L/N?”

“Well if you must know, I stole it, Mr. Riddle.”

You dumped out the rest of the shoplifted borrowed contents of your bag: a wide assortment of sweets from Honeydukes.

“Dibs on the Fizzing Whizzbees!” Mattheo said, immediately snatching them up.

“Poor taste, you’ve got. Chocolate Frogs all the way.”

You opened the pentagonal box dramatically, catching the Frog before it could escape.

“No way,” Mattheo argued around a mouthful of Whizzbees. “They’re just unsettling to eat.”

You laughed, turning the card around to show him that it was Albus Dumbledore.

He responded by throwing a handful of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans at you while you laughed hysterically.

‘Not gay as in happy/ But queer as in fuck you/ Not gay as in happy/ But queer as in fuck you!’

“I need to talk to you,” Mattheo rushed out as he slammed open your dorm room door.

“Nice to see you too,” you said sarcastically.

“This is serious, L/N!” His voice cracked as he spoke your last name, clueing you into the fact that he really was being serious.

“Shit, alright. What’s up? Cause, I like, kinda need to talk to you too.”

Mattheo closed your door and started pacing back and forth, rambling.

“Okay, fuck, I dunno how to say this but… I mean, not that you’re not like, pretty and all, you know, in a conventionally attractive way- and you’re super cool and all that, but-”

“Mattheo, I’m transgender,” you interrupted bluntly at the same time he blurted, “I’m gay.”

You both blinked.

“You’re into guys?”

“You are a guy?”

You were both silent for a moment before bursting into laughter.

“Well uh, that works out well, huh?”

‘Fuck you too!’

[sosuigeneris]

have you ever got any cosmetic work done (surgical/non-surgical)? what is your beauty maintenance routine? what are some stuff that wealthier ppl know about that most don’t regarding beauty/skin/hair/hygiene/diet/fitness? sorry it’s so many questions. i love your blog so much btw I’ve learned a lot from you :)🩷

nope, never had surgery or anything too invasive. I really don’t need it haha, losing weight, fixing my skin and growing my hair out did wonders for me. I’ve had collagen pumped into my skin for some acne scars I had but that was a useless procedure, this is back when I was 18. I’ve done exilis and em sculpt which I’ve mentioned below, I’ve gotten laser done (useless), I had IVs for semaglutide (useless). I think that’s about it.

beauty maintenance routine:

wax every 1.5 months

thread and wax my face every Sunday

face masks 2x week

hair mask 1 x week

high frequency if I feel like my skin needs a push (I have a wand at home)

gel polish every month

minoxidil for hair growth

I FaceTime my dermat once a month or once in two months

things that wealthy people do that normally people don’t know about… the problem is that everything is public these days. Any Jane can get filler and collagen therapy now and in certain elitist families, there is a sense of disdain about that. Beauty is a competition, it’s a very hush hush business and most try to be as discreet as possible.

I’ve seen lots of nose jobs and chin jobs that these younger girls get done in their late teens or early 20s to improve their prospects for fame (very common in the entertainment families). But with legacy family businesses, among the older women, it will be one of two extremes- a horrible face lift and smudged make up or all natural face yoga and black magic that they swear by. Baby Botox is also huge with the younger wives but they never get it done in India, they always go to LA/ NYC / and absolute worst case Dubai. You really cannot afford to be 35 and botched. The reality is that with huge legacy families what you don’t have is time. Time for recovery I mean, because for those few months you cannot be seen publicly. For most families this is impossible- there are constant engagements, philanthropic activities (PR), weddings and parties to attend - so whatever they get done, they ensure that the down time is very very short. That’s also why most of them have consistent “natural” wellness routines like getting massages weekly. emsculpt and exilis are a big secret (I’ve done both). I’m writing a blog post about it in real time. Downtime is zero. A lot of women also get exilis done for their vaginas to make it tighter.

I have cousins who have MUAs on a retainer basis. Regardless of how big or small the event is, they ensure that they’re looking glam at all times if they’re going to be socialising. I personally think that’s insane and I’m very good at my beating my face so I never resorted to doing this for every occasion but yes this is common.

diet - I’ll be honest, most girls will very rarely touch food. If we’re going out for dinner we normally go for Japanese because it’s a little lighter. They smoke/ vape a lot which in turn suppresses appetite.

what I plan to get done soon:

acne scar treatment (I have very slight scarring only on one cheek because I sleep on my side)

hydrafacial

ultrasound for double chin (I don’t have a crazy double chin but I do want my face to be a little more snatched without fillers and Botox)

Things I know I will get done at some point:

PRP facials

micro needling

emsculpt again (like before my wedding whenever that happens)

Botox just in between my eyebrows because I frown when I’m listening

some treatment for my laugh lines at some point in my life

tbh the best beauty tip I can give you is start working out young. I’ve seen so many women not go back to their pre-baby weight, struggle with their health which inevitably fucks with your appearance, and try all sorts of stupid things when they could literally just start working out and watch their body transform in a few months.

also, don’t get fillers done impulsively. It looks ridiculous unless you have the right doc and 8/10 times you don’t. try to stick to your ethnicity as much as possible. As an Indian, the closest inspo for me is Middle Eastern because I have similar features (full brows, full lips and big eyes). But if I try getting Korean style plastic surgery I’m going to look daft.

[hayleythesugarbowl]

ooo can you do ones for the smosh women?

if so amanda and/or angela plzzz

smosh women x reader headcanons

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: ok i went ahead and did all the smosh women but angela and amanda are on here!! also i found out after i wrote this that jackie left smosh (😭😭) but im going to include her anyways!! hope you enjoy these <3🩰🍓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is what I think it would be like dating the smosh women…

courtney…

she bought you guys matching shirts

her love language is definitely physical touch 

and she’s always holding your hand or playing with your hair or giving you kisses 

tells you how much she loves your butt lol

you met her family and they all love you so much

boops your nose

loves cuddling under a blanket with you

she thinks you’re the funniest person ever

facetimes you all the time and when you try to decline saying you’re not having a good hair day she called you anyway and tells you how gorgeous you and your hair look

if you’re having a bad day she’ll cheer you up by being extra silly and taking you to your favorite places

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

angela…

you guys take turns picking movies and shows to watch and get really into them 

she loves your sense of humor so much 

and you guys definitely make each other laugh at inappropriate times 

she lets you borrow anything of hers you want 

so much teasing 

you guys do karaoke together 

she sits in your lap all the time

you guys go to the theater together and she whispers to you throughout the whole thing

you guys get a dog 

she thinks you’re crazy talented and loves listening to you talk about what you’re passionate about 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

amanda…

smells so good 24/7

knows your order at like every restaurant you guys have been to 

on your birthday she makes sure to tell the waiters it’s your birthday and then sings louder than anyone 

so protective of you fr

you guys have these really relaxing self care days and spa days 

and she definitely eats the cucumbers 

gives the best hugs omg

neck kisses 

anytime you’re uncomfortable or embarrassed she does something even more weird or embarrassing to take the heat off you

so supportive of whatever you do 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

arasha…

y’all watch so much Netflix together 

and all the other streaming services 

because she probably somehow knows all the neighbors passwords 

you guys have these elaborate prank wars

she always wins but she doesn’t brag too much

the best at comforting you when you’re upset 

rubs your back 

goes out and gets you starbucks because ‘you looked like you needed some coffee’

loves your smile so much 

the best at picking a restaurant and we love that 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jackie…

definitely asked you out with ‘you ever been with a black woman before?’

(if you got that reference i love you)

always has a hand on your thigh 

you guys definitely got a cat…or a few cats 

you two go out to events and stuff and she never leaves your side and makes all the introductions 

you definitely went to a swing dance together once and dressed up and had so much fun

she led

she writes poetry about you 

and one fanfiction as a joke

and you’ve framed every one she’s given you

sings you to sleep 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

olivia…

sends you the most random memes at 2 am

‘saw this and thought of you’

and you spend so many minutes trying to figure out what they mean

she’ll just flop down on top of you on the couch and rest her head on your shoulder 

takes you to so many fun locations 

you guys have your own emoji language 

forehead kisses 

gets really close with your parents

remembers the most random things you said months ago and prides herself on knowing you really the best 

she gets the best gifts 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kimmy…

makes her own valentines for you

always asking how you’re doing or if you’re cold or hungry or tired

calls you ‘sweetie’ and ‘honey’

you guys bake together 

holds your hair while you throw up 

introduces you to all her friends and compliments you so much in front of them

‘you pick’

calls you every day/night that you don’t see each other and you guys talk for hours 

she leaves you cute little notes all over the place

tries to make you laugh to cheer you up

her lock screen is you and she has you entered into her phone as ‘🩷💜love of my life💜🩷’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ ok i hoped you enjoyed these!! let me know if you want any full length headcanons for any of the specific smosh women or men <3 💋💌

[pillarsalt]

I was seeing so much hate for radfems that I finally decided to check it for myself and the amount of misinformation about your group is crazy. The whole "radfems love beauty standards" touted everywhere but I see more posts denouncing the beauty industry in a day by radfems than I ever do everywhere else because people implode if you say that shaving is bad. The "radfems love being victims and want to remain victims" thing when it's women giving each other advice on to leave abusive relationships. Like. It's insane. I've seen bad parts of it that were victim blamey or racist but the overwhelming majority is just feminism. Good feminism that criticizes society as a whole. And more black and racial minority women than anywhere else on tumblr. I feel like I was immensely lied to. I'm less alarmist about trans people and I think that calling them slurs or disrespecting them is unnecessary but truthfully it is awful that sex has been erased from talks about feminism. I have no idea what kind of parallel reality everybody lives in because I found myself agreeing with a ton of things radfems say and I even believe that the people wrongfully calling you out would agree too if they listened.

Thanks for this message anon, and thanks for making the choice to look into things for yourself instead of just going along with what everyone tells you. Very few people who hate "terfs"/feminists actually understand our points of view, because it's forbidden to even briefly read or listen to what we have to say, the reasoning being that we'll somehow magically "indoctrinate" you. No one's allowed to hear us, so when asked "but why are they so bad?" they have to make up random bullshit that has nothing to do with what we believe. The real reason is because our arguments are quite basically common sense approaches to women's rights and pattern recognition when it comes to differences in male and female experiences. It's hard to un-see what was right in front of your eyes the whole time.

I'll add that I personally don't think calling trans people or anyone else slurs is acceptable. I do think a lot of women on the feminist side of tumblr have a lot of anger and resentment built up towards men who identify as trans because of the misogyny they've seen come out of the trans movement, anger I honestly think is justified. The moral high ground is always the best road to take, but after having womanhood mansplained to you for the hundredth time as a collection of regressive stereotypes because you're just a stupid bigot cis bitch and you wouldn't get it, yeah being a bit mean in return is understandable. I still think it's unnecessary to use slurs.

I really agree with your last point, there's a reason that feminist rhetoric is so suppressed on both sides of the political spectrum. Consciousness raising is so important, caring about women is important. No matter how hard they try to silence us, women will keep talking to each other and women will continue to wake up to the lies they're being fed.

[daeneryscel]

hotd episode three thoughts:

episode was titled ‘the burning mill’ for the battle of the burning mill and we only get to see the aftermath. no black aly, no bloody ben, just pain and suffering.

“i can’t fault him for upkeeping his oath.” is such a lame excuse, since he tried to kill her last episode, they could’ve just had her say she wants to honor erryk and his sacrifice by allowing him to have peace with the brother he still loved despite everything.

i went from ‘i still kind of care about you even though i’m not a big fan of the changes’ in regard to rhaenys to full on dislike. good job condal!! “maybe you can talk peace with alicent (she has proven time and time again her demon spawn will not listen to her) 😜 luke taking aemond’s eye started the war (a 7 year old defending his brother 6 years ago caused the war, sure jan) 🤪 im gonna imply you being practical about the war’s inevitably will cause me to stop supporting you 😋 just in a silly goofy mood 😛😛”

i liked mysaria and rhaenyra’s conversation, and appreciate the setting up for addam claiming seasmoke.

gwayne fucking hightower had more speaking lines than jace. glad to see he pissed his pants when confronted with moondancer however.

baela>>> arguably best part of the episode. dany’s theme playing over her and moondancer’s entrance is reaffirming my fancast <3

corlys whining about joffrey only being six and knowing nothing of the sea is honestly hilarious since that’s how most heirs start off as? also not surprised he doesn’t consider rhaena good enough to be his heir when he’s proven time and time again he’ll only support women in power if it benefits him. can’t wait to watch greencels bend over backwards and claim this is rhaenyra’s fault once again !

actually the way rhaena was treated this episode is just major ick vibes. the writers have this obsession with making every non-dragon rider targ a liability to their family? which makes no sense at all, but they couldn’t even include one line of rhaenyra saying she was sending rhaena to the vale for her safety to? i’m glad she told her upfront she was entrusting the future of their house to her (an omen for morning? i’m not holding my breath) but still.

you mean to tell me aemond’s biggest adversary in life wasn’t his toddler nephews??? but instead his big brother??? who has no redeeming qualities and proves he’s willing to hurt him to feed his own ego??? shocked, i tell you. absolutely shocked. ‘true brotherhood’ defenders are going to lose their shit when aemond attempts to kill aegon next episode (apparently twice? for once i’ll be on his side i guess).

the showrunners brought dyana back just to have her serve the man who raped her and be sexually assaulted again, what a feminist take!

had to see a dude get sucked down in the same scene. now i need luke to take my eye(s) out too.

i did NOT need to see aemond’s dingaling what the fuck

baelon’s… bastard… son? the same baelon who was head over heels in love with alyssa? the same baelon who never took another wife nor even looked at another woman after her death? the same baelon who’s sister couldn’t even convince him to take her to wife? vaegon having a bastard would be more believable.

helaena apparently doesn’t give a shit about jaehaerys! more absolute bangers from the writing department. instead of going mad over this loss and deliberately throwing herself out her window she’s going to see a really pretty butterfly that she must have and accidentally tumble over the balcony.

rhaenys praising jaehaerys is so fucked, he’s the reason you’re not queen right now, and he laid the groundwork for the greens to have any claim at all EAT MY ASS

why is alys american.

daemon’s harrenhal arc seems very interesting -so far- it was great to milly’s rhaenyra again (also am i the only one that thought she was holding a baby, jace or a hypothetical ‘what if daemon married her to begin with’ and not sewing up jae’s head) also “you will die in this place” is peak foreshadowing honestly.

alicent continues to pull the ‘i didn’t think the leopards would eat MY face!!!’ “i have perhaps been unkind but never dishonest” copium much??? you deliberately made rhaenyra and her kids life’s a living hell bc she managed to find happiness in her situation and you couldn’t stand that.

that sept scene was dumb as shit but at least rhaenyra has exhausted every single option possible for no war and her antis can shove it and be reminded that she’s the only monarch that gave a shit about the destruction about to happen. ‘team neutral’ team fucking idiot more like.

episode is rated 2/10 for baela, rhaena, jace/joff/aegon/viserys crumbs, and house blackwood mention.