#NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE. EVERYONE IS ALWAYS CONNECTED
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lohotine ¡ 2 days ago
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``Your Strings, My Heart, Our Destruction.``
Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Reader
CW: Implied Toxic Shadow Milk, Angst
Because everyone
is so
so
below me.
That is why, no matter how much he speaks of loving you,
in the end,
you know
you will always just be a puppet to him.
For him to control
And for him to entertain himself with.
Because to him, you are just a moment.
You may spend your whole life
loving
hating
Living him.
But you'll still be
just a moment to him in the end.
While he
Is your entire life.
Yet, even if his strings have been embedded into your joints,
He doesn't have as much control
as he'd like to think.
Because those strings
come from his heart
and they run red
with his blood
each time you pull on them.
And even if throughout the years
You may free yourself from one of these strings
a chunk of his heart will come
tumbling down with it
and it will still be beating
since it is with you.
And before you realize it
his blood will come trickling down
from where the string was once connected
and it'll stain you;
your hands
eyes
mouth and body
until your entire figure is stained with his blood.
And yet you still pull out the strings
that are a part of his heart
to regain the control of your life
that he doesn't have the right to.
Even if it causes him to bleed out.
And even if he doesn't control you anymore
You will never forget him
Because of how
He stained you.
Perhaps you are free from each other now
But in the end,
it was still the destruction of both of you.
He remains
still barely breathing
since you've taken pieces of his heart
and left him to bleed out
while you remain
covered in his blood.
Because even if you've freed yourself
from the crimson strings
you haven't freed yourself
from the crimson stains.
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hitlikehammers ¡ 2 days ago
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tremolo
…what if instead of learning clarinet or percussion, you could learn to read the music of hearts? 💕
rating: t ♥️ cw: love at first sight, car crash (off-screen), SUCH FLUFF ♥️ tags: ✨magical realism au, musician eddie munson, paramedic steve harrington, kinda soulmates (it makes more sense with the magical realism part), character study, softness
for @steddielovemonth day one: "Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." —Plato
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It was just like learning any instrument, really.
At least what they tried to convince Eddie to believe at the tender age of nine.
But it was all about finding an aptitude, apparently. Developing a talent. Fourth grade rolls around and he fucks up blowing with a reed, manages to give himself a tongue splinter. Nearly passes out on the brass. Ends up with the choir lady looking over horn-rimmed glasses and narrowing her eyes at him less like a teacher and more like a fortune teller or something, scrying what’s to come of him, like she can see through all that he is and will be, before she goes scribbling something on his little slip of paper already marking all the failed kinds of music he’ll never get to make and telling him: go to Room 011.
But no one ever goes to Room 011.
He meets a petite woman with mousy hair and clothes that look like they belong to someone else, somehow. She introduces herself as Miss L. She looks like a Miss L., so he doesn’t think any further on the point.
You will not play much, really, she tells him, and the way she talks is kinda funny, like she learned words but not from people actually saying them out loud. Eddie kinda likes it, though. The playing is only for emergencies, and if you find your True Note.
Eddie doesn’t know what most of that means, except for the fact that the whole point of trying—and failing—at all the instruments was to join the school band with something to play. So if that’s not what he’s going to learn, then what the heck is Eddie meant to be doing down here—is what he wants to ask.
He manages a little politer version of the same, his nan’d be proud. His dad wouldn’t care even if he was around and not behind bars. His uncle might be happy that Eddie’s kept his nose clean just this one time. So he figures he does okay.
But really, he just wants an answer. He was supposed to get to learn music. It was the one thing that was keeping this whole year feeling like he could maybe, maybe survive it.
It also means he doesn’t have to take the art class that’s mostly kindergarten crafts instead of real art, so.
“You will be learning music,” Miss L. answers, more patient than most grownups; “you are here to learn how to read the songs that hearts sing.”
And that is, by far, in all of his whole nine years of living, the most fucking absurd sentence that Eddie has ever heard.
——
He’d kinda thought it was a joke, when he left that first afternoon to get back before Language Arts.
Turned out: nope. It was not.
He’d maybe thrown something slightly less childish than a tantrum, when what he got was a big set of earphones and a box the size of an Easy-Bake Oven, where apparently he’d be playing some kind of recordings to start his lessons.
“Do you not wish to learn?” Miss L. asked so simply, and Eddie…
Eddie reminded himself that no matter how foolish and stupid this was, it couldn’t possibly be worse than making construction paper collages with Elmer’s glue, so.
He put the headphones on and pressed play.
——
His workbooks didn’t look like anyone else’s in band—in fact, Eddie didn’t think he was actually a part of the class band, like, he wasn’t expecting to play at the spring concert with the flutes and the trombones, anymore. When he had sheets of staves to fill out they didn’t have straight lines. He didn’t draw different circles with little flags and bridges connecting them. He…
“When there are no keys, and there is no time signature,” Miss L. had explained, and it took time to make any sense; “you are the rules, and you feel what is a melody,” she’d tapped something that feltbeautiful, like daffodils blooming, though Eddie couldn’t say why; “and what is a warning.”
And then she’d tapped again, and it clenched in Eddie’s chest like a tornado siren, and…yeah.
That was kind of the best explanation he could have asked for.
——
It’s in middle school, when everyone else gets new band directors while Eddie sticks with Miss L., that it starts to…well.
That’s when the fact that Eddie’s alone in his lessons, and no one seems to know quite what he does—and the other kids who get that kind of treatment are usually the ones who can’t add or spell right, who have some kind of problem to work on extra hard—but it’s around then that Eddie starts being called names for it.
It’s not too bad, at first. Eddie’s worked for his two full years of elementary school lessons to get through recognizing the songs, suffers the point where recognizing becomes unbearable, overwhelming—Miss L. never left his side when he held his head in pain for all the noise, all the songs because they were everywhere, in everyone, and how was he supposed to learn what was right and what was good and what was just okay but then what was also everything the opposite when he couldn’t even think—
But she taught him the tools, the ways to sift through the chatter, as she called it. Because not all of it was a warning; not all of it was bad just because it wasn’t beautiful.
Some of the noise just was.
She showed him how to trust his own ear; his own song in his own chest as a guide, because that’s why he was here: he had a gift, an aptitude, built in and in need of development. Liked they’d said in the beginning.
He’s nearly thirteen when she teaches him how to write his own songs, in the not-notes and the no-tempos. In the nameless flow of sound.
It’s when his classmates overhear one of those works-in-progress, the taunting gets worse, starts to hedge toward unbearable.
Until Eddie asks if he can just stop: quit this. It’s not worth it. He doesn’t want to be a freak.
“It is a rite of passage, to ask this,” Miss L. says slowly, no judgement, and weirdly no pity; “but I should tell you first,” and her eyes narrow more than Eddie thinks he’s ever seen them.
“Your skill is already greater than any I have seen, and is only getting sharper, more keen.”
And hell if a teacher’s ever said something niceabout Eddie Munson, let alone something that sounds like flat-out praise.
“They cannot hear the music, this is why they say those things,” she flicks her wrist less like conducting a chorus and more like shooing a gnat, like that’s the appropriate amount of consideration the comments deserve. “Your task has always been to teach them what they do not know, to show them the wonder they are ignoring as they live and breathe.”
And while it really would have been nice to know that before signing up for this…this what, calling? Vocation?
While that would’ve been nice, Eddie…Eddie can at least mostly understand he wouldn’t have understood any of it in the fourth grade.
He barely understands now.
But he can feel it. He understands how to feel the music that fills all those gaps.
“This is common,” Miss L. turns back to him, steeples her fingers while humming something from the radio: not bad, but not beautiful. That’s what she means, he realizes. The radio plays common.
“This,” and she puts a hand over her own chest and keeps time with her fingers on the tabletop as she hums a wholly novel thing out of thin air, and Eddie has never seen someone else recognize the music, has never watched someone compose in the veins where the songs that hearts sing are played, let alone in real time; maybe she never had because he had to lean for himself, first.
But it is kind of exquisite to witness.
“This,” she stops, and raises a brow pointedly in Eddie’s direction; “is human, built in your cells.”
Eddie couldn’t name why, precisely, but he feels…shamed, but also empowered. So different, but they make an almost compelling melody together as they clash.
“They will call you freak before they call you prodigy,” Miss L. says it like a fact, which…kinda sucks to hear, in all honesty.
“They will label you insane, before they recognize you as genius,” and the way she adds that part makes him feel like that was her personal burden to bear, and he aches for her in it.
“They will cry out garbage and nonsense,” and here, these words: these are the ones Eddie knows immediately he’s meant to be hearing, be weaving into notes the strongest, the ones she wants him to keep closest and never lose:
“They will cry out worthless,” she spits out with a venom he’s never heard her use; “before they will sob in the face of your masterworks, and how they will breathe magic in the soul.”
And…Eddie doesn’t know exactly what to do in the face of the conviction she says that last part with. To doubt it, as he instinctively wants to, feels vile; the most egregious disrespect. He can’t bring himself to even try. So, he asks instead, voice rough:
“When will it change?”
Because despite everything: he doesn’t want to be a freak.
“That I cannot say,” she sighs, and she does sound sorry; “and it may never change at all.”
Eddie doesn’t know if he’s built to handle that, the possibility of never.
“But even if you leave, here and now,” Miss L. cuts into his despairing; “even if you stop your learning, the songs will never leave you.”
Oh.
Oh, so did they…did they teach him to hear a endless goddamn curse, and as a fucking kid—
“You would always have come to hear them,” Miss L. must read his mind, or maybe just his face; “just never with any place to funnel the noise,” and he…guesses he should be grateful. He nearly went mad in those early years, before she taught him how to make new melodies, concertos the likes of which even the great masters hadn’t penned, because they played in a different medium. Their notes and structured time were useful, but limited.
And if they never heard otherwise, how would even the most brilliant talents know what they were passing over, leaving behind?
“Do you still wish to leave?”
Eddie turns, almost having forgotten Miss L. was still sitting there, watching him. Almost having forgotten what he’d come to ask, to give up.
There’s no question left, now.
He gets out his notebook, his pen, and starts as he always does.
With the listening.
——
It’s a genuine distraction—the songs get louder with time, but Miss L. tells him that’s a sign of his skill growing, his notice of the equivalents of key signatures and ligature notes in the heartbeats he passes every day—but it costs him passing senior year once, and then again, and almost a third time until by the skin of his teeth, he manages. While every other teacher shames him for it, derides him as incurably stupid, or at the very least unambitious to the point of embarrassment, the extra years mean more time with Miss L., and Eddie…most days, Eddie is nothing but thankful.
More time means Eddie also learns that the songs he hears are as much a public service as they are an art form, as much a defense mechanism as a craft. He knows when bullies are on the prowl, and to make himself scarce for their screeching cacophonies. He knows when he has to be less of a coward and step in when a wild rhythm makes him sick with its fear.
The more he pays attention to the not-quite-beautiful songs—especially when he thinks on them later and stumbles upon nuggets of the exquisite inside every way they weren’t—the more he remembers years ago, out of almost nowhere, but maybe…maybe everywhere, like it’d been written in his heart’s song the day she spoke it:
“My first day,” he enters the same room—not the same-same room but the one in the high school that’s as abandoned as all of them have been, always Room 011—but he enters the room close to the end of the year, the last year, with the question thick on his tongue, and woven the same in his song as he closes the door and feels his heartbeat quicken for no reason and every reason, like he’s long learned these songs always do.
Miss L., for her part, just nods; waits.
“You said,” Eddie rolls his lips together; “emergencies.”
It’s a delay tactic. They both know it.
She’s kind to play along.
“Mmm,” she hums; “the slightest bits, yes, you can shift the rules to change the song, because you made the rules to begin with,” she eyes him carefully, then. “But only by bits, and in only the most dire moments.”
Yeah, yeah, sure. He never thought he could like…write lines to coax a heart to sing itself back from the dead or some shit. He gets the point.
Again, they both know: that’s not the point he’s here for, heart pounding high in his throat.
“But then you also said something else.”
This time, she doesn’t nod at all; just stares. Eddie has to clear his throat twice to make a sound so as to ask:
“What’s a True Note?”
Because Eddie’s had a couple flings here and there. And the idea of anything real with someone else, alongside the weight of this…talent of his, this training that’s defined half his life by now: it’s really nothing more than a stray idea. But Eddie can’t really hide from the fact that, somewhere along the way, he’s suffused that idea with so much promise and potential, but with no legs for it to fucking stand on.
And he’s about to graduate. About to go out into the world and…who the fuck knows what.
He needs to either hold onto this insane, silly notion of some cosmic meant-to-be match waiting for him somewhere, that it’s at least possible, and then hold on to it like burning—or let it go, and get on with the rest of his fucking life.
“Do you know how I said you could sway the rhythm just the littlest bit, in the greatest of need?”
Of course he did. She literally just said it.
“Your True Note will sing like you have never heard before,” she tells him like it’s not something…immense; “and that song will sway your rhythm so much more than the littlest of anything.”
She just fucking says it, like it isn’t already swaying the rhythm his heart sings in. Here and now.
“That heartsong will change your world.”
And all Eddie can even think to ask, to make more plain in it, is just one thing:
“Will I change theirs, too?”
Miss L’s eyes lock to his and hold for enough seconds where it should be uncomfortable, where his chest starts to grow unbearably tight.
“Hmm,” she considers finally; “if it is meant to be that way.”
Eddie wants to scream. It’s not enough.
And still somehow, it will have to be.
——
In the months that follow his freedom, he misses Miss L. Kinda desperately.
But the lack of structure, the openness of knowing he has to find a way to piece together all the snippets of song he’s bombarded with: it is the reason he ever picks up a guitar. It’s the whole learning heartsongs thing that he has to thank for it, a roundabout journey toward the destination he’d wanted from the beginning.
Or else, that he thought he did.
It’s not just guitar, though. He eventually learns the woodwinds without ending up with a splinter in his mouth. Figures out the different harmonies at hand in making sure he tempers the way he breathes for the brass. He loves the piano, and the cello especially, alongside guitar and double bass: he makes a trip back home specifically to see her and ask—Miss L. tells him it’s probably because of their strings, like hearts have, too.
It feels right in a way things haven’t felt in a very long time.
Which is really how he comes to not only understand, but to accept in his bones: no matter if they ever call him prodigy or genius, if he ever plays a concert hall or anywhere but on a street corner with an open case for change, he was made for this; built for this. The woman with the horn-rimmed glasses who sent him to the basement music room saw it in him. Miss L. proved it to him by teaching him to prove it to himself. He doesn’t know if he’d have picked it, but he knows it was never something he could have picked or turned down in the first place at all: it’s who he is.
He is the music. He is the songs that hearts use for singing. And maybe someday he’ll meet someone who sees it in him, and hears his song, and sings ecstatic. Maybe.
He hopes.
But either way: this is his life.
This is his melody.
——
It takes years before they do sob for his masterpieces, for them to be ready for a style and cadence they don’t understand because they will never comprehend the language, that speaks deeper than the logic required for any of those rules. It takes a long fucking time before they start listening with the lens of the first song any of them ever learned. But the time does come, and Eddie is grateful, because he’d genuinely feared the maybe-never he’d been warned about. He’s glad that’s not where he is, now.
But now? Things start to happen almost unbearably fast. Shows here and flights there, guest appearances and interviews, record labels and live recordings, a book deal he can’t even begin to think about. The world tips on its axis and Eddie only really considered that happening to him for one reason: because of a song so beautiful, in a Note so True—this isn’t that.
But everything still feels upside down anyway; totally off-kilter.
He’s crossed ten time-zones this time. He’s exhausted, but he has a performance tonight, just like he did in the tonight of the place he just left. The car he’s in on his way to the next venue is sleek, like they all are now; his team is already there preparing, so it’s just him and some local hires he hasn’t even had a chance to learn the names of yet, which he hates. He hates being privy to their songs and not even knowing their names, let alone their stories.
He jots the notes he gleans from how they sing without their words on the drive across town anyway. Waste not, and all that.
Eddie has the pen in hand, cap between his teeth, when the truck plows straight into them.
What follows would be unsurprising, if Eddie could process it from a bystander’s point of view—as it is, the only thing he knows in the melee is the music.
He is devastated, as he reaches out for the slowing songs around him, knowing in the back of his mind what their slacking tempos mean, and marveling with something like horror at how beautiful each one is as it starts to fade: still unique, still something Eddie could braid into a piece, certainly one to draw tears.
His own song is ebbing, he knows, but it’s less important than the sweet melodies around him, especially—
Oh.
Eddie thinks, with what may be the last thought left to him as pressure and heat and pain tingle at the edges of the music, almost too strong now to be drowned out by the notes that are what Eddie is at his core: but he thinks he may be too far gone already, because what he begins to hear is…
Exultant. It’s…
If Eddie believed in a heaven, this would be what the hosts there sang. When the idea of divinity is bandied about, they can only ever be talking about some cheap imitation of what Eddie hears now. Luminous. Effervescent.
Beautiful in a way that exceeds the word itself so deeply that it barely fits, obliterates the notion on sight.
And what a gift, Eddie muses as everything dims to black, to hear such Notes, such perfect music as the last thing he has to hold onto in the end.
To end on something that’s True.
——
The next tones Eddie hears are mechanical. He winces—not bad but certainly not beautiful—and then winces harder because wincing itself fucking hurts.
He holds himself still, seeks the song he knows in his own veins: yes, and he’d been so sure it was gone, because there’d be an accident, a crash, he’d been thrown, crushed, songs all around him were dying and he’d heard the magnificent symphony of otherworldly perfection so—
“I’m technically not supposed to be here,” a voice interjects, or no: drips in leisurely, like comfort, like honey; “because you’re a patient, and I’m,” and Eddie forces his eyes open to see the voice come out of a man, who is pointing at his chest: a uniform. Medical.
“I’m not dead?”
All signs do point that direction but…Eddie had been kinda fairly sure he was done for.
“God,” the man chokes like he’s pained, like the idea hurts him, and why; “no,” and he says that a little fiercely, protective almost; “though not for lack of an effort.”
He looks tired, as Eddie’s vision starts to clear some more. He looks radiant. Exquisite.
Beautiful.
“You saved me?”
Because Eddie clocks the uniform now: paramedic. The ones who come onto the scenes and try like hell to save who they can. Heroes.
“I helped,” the beautiful man says, like a hero would, of course. But…it still doesn’t make sense. If the man does this for his job, then Eddie isn’t special, so then why is he so vehement, and then what of all the fading songs Eddie remembers, because Eddie had heard—
“What about,” he starts, but there’s a hand over his quickly, soothing.
“Everyone’s here, different wards,” the hero-beauty tells him in lows tones; “we don’t know if they’ll all make it through the night, but,” he nods, like…this is enough.
And it is. Except…
“How?”
And where Eddie is baffled, his hero just quirks a brow.
“Don’t tell me you never covered emergencies?” he asks skeptically. “Most dire moments, greatest of need?”
And it’s with those words that Eddie’s world slows very quickly to a halt. The music swells in a way he’s never known: because it’s always present to hear.
Buts it’s never been so tangible to feel, not like this, and with such…magnificence, no lesser word could touch it. Maybe he truly is closer to death than not, maybe that’s the reason for the fervor in this man he doesn’t know—the choirs of the angels Eddie wasn’t banking on swells and is visceral, and this hero sits before him, speaks the words that have haunted Eddie more days of his life than not, and—
“This was where the music took my life,” the man pulls at his collar, indicative again: the heroism. He…he saves people, because he, he also hears…
“But I couldn’t have done it without you.”
His hand on Eddie’s tightens, like gratitude, and Eddie…gapes like a fucking fish, and then—
“There’s something else.”
“Not just here to check up on the fruits of your medical miracle?” Eddie’s tongue feels heavy, thick in his mouth; he feels sluggish all over, weighted down and like he can barely move because…this man hears the music that hearts make.
Can he hear the ineffable beauty, like Eddie can? He must, that’s how it works, so why is he not in the same amount of awe—
“Not just,” the man smiles small, but real, a little hesitant. A little…shy, maybe, before he straightens, leans a little closer.
“Watch that screen,” and he tracks Eddie’s gaze until Eddie’s fixed upon the ECG, the most disappointing distillation of the songs he’s learned to find so much wonder in.
But then the man is pressing Eddie’s hand to his own chest, which…is forward, given they don’t even know each other.
Eddie is maybe still on, or at least just-recently-off, death’s door, and either way he’s fucking thrilledwith this development, warm beneath his palm.
“Now count.”
It only takes a moment, to put the gestures together into a statement.
The beat under his touch matches the line across the screen. Exactly.
But this man’s not the one attached to the monitor.
“Got it?”
Eddie nods, and the man doesn’t hesitate, lifts Eddie’s hand and presses it back to Eddie’s own chest.
“Again.”
And that’s…that’s not the same rhythm as the one on the screen; the songs don’t match at all.
But Eddie can still hear the one that does—the beauty. The exaltation.
“Can you,” Eddie asks, lifts his finger that’s got a clip on it, and the man’s a professional, he’ll understand—looks less than conflicted about disconnecting Eddie from wires and leads before clipping his own finger and letting the screen shift to a new cadence.
The same one under Eddie’s hand, in Eddie’s own chest.
“Holy fuck.”
“Yeah,” the man barely breathes, and Eddie notices now how intense his eyes are, focused solely on Eddie, and…Eddie remembers the words that came after the ones about emergencies. About how little he could help, but that he could still do something.
But with only one person, it could be—
“You didn’t just sway my rhythm,” Eddie half-gasps; “you made it your own.”
And oh: Eddie never tied the song of hearts to the song of laughter, but from this man, the huff of incredulous joy that slips from him now—they’re made wholly of the same stuff.
Symphonic. Staggering. Weeping to feel this much, in the soul, to be privy to such a…
Masterpiece.
“Worked both ways, it seems.”
“I heard you,” Eddie blurts out, because it makes sense now; “before I, when I thought I was,” dying, when he thought it was all over; “like I’ve never heard anything before.”
And now: of course this man hears the heavenly movement Eddie thought was a mercy before the end but was instead the arrival of everything he’d ever hoped to one day find, literally coming to rescue him in more ways than one; but that song is somehow commonplace to this unfathomable angel on the earth.
And what this man hears stronger, louder, dearer seems somehow to be Eddie, the song he sings from the chest, in how it’s causing those caramel eyes to glimmer, and to barely blink lest they miss something in just…Eddie.
“You never stopped,” the man says with urgency, with feeling; “your song never stopped,” and then he’s closing his eyes and laying both his hands over his own chest, where Eddie’s heartsong is ringing full and maybe changing his world, because the song in Eddie’s chest sure as hell has already changed his, and—
“It’s extraordinary.”
And Eddie, in years of ridicule, in months of celebration, in all the ups and downs and doubts and hopes this life of songs and hearts and rhythms and beats has left him with, in all of it—
Those two words rewrite his whole fucking being.
“True Note,” Eddie mouths more than speaks before he scoffs; “shit, but that seems like a really fucking inadequate thing to call it,” and his eyes lift to take in the man who he knows, he knows is going to be his magnum opus, or more: is going to write the magnum opus they will be and breathe and share from here to all ends:
“To call you.”
And there’s the clearest sense of a trip in a beat, but who it belongs to isn’t clear, and maybe that’s the reality for them both now: every subtlety of the song is now shared, now theirs.
“You could start with Steve.”
Eddie looks up, breath a little heavy, but the smile on the man’s face is broad and kind of overjoyed, kind of looks like Eddie’s chest feels:
“My name’s Steve.”
And that?
Best damn title for a symphony Eddie’s ever fucking heard.
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bwat5-blog ¡ 3 days ago
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Continuing The Cycle
**Spoilers For Arcane**
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Let me say to begin with, that nothing in this post is to downplay or brush off Piltover's oppression of Zaun. There will be some who read that and still scream at me, that's okay. I just want to be clear.
Many people on here more insightful and intelligent than I have spoken on this already, but it has been sticking with me lately so I wanted to get my thoughts out.
I have been quite free with dismantling some of the inane attempts at criticism of Arcane in this space. But, I promise I do actually understand everyone is entitled to their opinion. After all, how we connect with and understand art on an individual level is one of the things that make it so special. I have never, and will never come for someone who is simply stating their honest opinion based on the actual content in a respectful manner.
Where my issues come in, have to do with these wide-spread critiques/takes/stances that so directly undermine the meaning of the narrative they are best ignorant and at worst malicious. And more often than not rely on omission of details that negates their stance, or fabrication of details to support them. To that end, what I am discussing today is the black and white thinking that has permeated the fandom, poisoning understanding and appreciation of all corners of that narrative.
LET'S JUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY:
*Before we get into the Arcane content, we need to discuss where a lot of this is coming from. I am just gonna get this out here right now, and there are some people who are gonna keel over reading it but if you are one of those folks I might as well not waste your time*
Arcane is not the Israeli–Palestinian conflict.
It could not be more clear that this is where a lot of this is coming from. Let me be explicitly clear, this is NOT a deep-dive or analysis of this conflict. This thing is immensely complicated . If you comment here with a "IT IS NOT COMPLICATED ITS" sort of comment I'm sorry to tell you but you are wrong. The modern phase of this has origins as far back as the late nineteenth century and there is more going back even further. I don't care if its a straight fucking line. Something going back that far has more to it than the average nerd like me is qualified to speak on. Now, that being said, I do understand to a degree why this is happening. Not like this conflict has ever really been settled but in the last few years especially things have really been active and generating a degree of media content I don't remember seeing this level of in my short 32 years. So in a world where everyone (myself included) is so plugged in and enveloped by social media, a lot of us are getting a more direct look at this than we really ever have. And we analyze and connect with art through the lens of the world around us to a point. But we CANNOT do so exclusively. Trying to force a narrative into a one-to-one comparison robs it of a tremendous amount of meaning. Because no matter how complex and intricate this story actually can be. IT IS NOT REALITY. I'm not getting into it here, that would be pages and pages of writing and I'm here to talk about Arcane. But I'm going to say this because it applies to real life and the show both and will take us into my actual point today.
The idea that anyone on one side must always be good and justified simply because they are the oppressed, while the other must always be evil, is juvenile, naĂŻve, and fails to grasp even a fraction of the complexity of human nature
Some of you are going to have an absolute seizure reading me say that that statement applies to real life as well. I don't care. It takes time, maturity, and meeting people from all walks of life to understand things are not so simple.
BACK TO ARCANE:
But, that being said time to get back to business. How does this all apply to Arcane?
"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"
"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"
"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"
"Silco did bad things but it was all to gain power to protect Zaun!"
"Poor little rich girl lost her mom and acts like it's a reason to punish an entire city with warcrimes. The people of Zaun have been suffering worse for their entire history"
"Rebel Vi I miss you! How dare they make you care about people in Piltover!"
"The coward show runners made Zaunites into boot-lickers fighting for Piltover wearing Enforcer armor at the end!"
You get the idea. I have seen variations of these and many more time and time again. Zaun should have let Piltover fall or even attacked themselves. Caitlyn deserved everything done to her because she's of the Piltovan elite. Every terrible thing Jinx or Silco did was totally and completely justified because of Piltovan oppression.
Now there are many angles I could come at this from. My usual one is simply addressing the astounding lack of logic in most of these sorts of arguments. For example, I can rope all of the people saying Zaun should have let Piltover fall into one category. People who forgot about this guy:
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Like he was just gonna "evolve" Piltover than call it a day and zoot off into space with his new buddies. Obviously not and the idea that he wouldn't immediately take Zaun as well then keep moving is completely laughable. But this sort of thing isn't my issue today. My issue is that those so zealously insisting the the show should have continued on a path of hate, death and destruction are completely missing the point.
I titled this continuing the cycle for a reason. So much of this show, revolves around this concept of the cycle of violence. Those who keep it going, those who suffer from it, and those who break it. And the issue I'm finding is that a tremendous amount of people have seemingly decided that anything people from Zaun do is justified, and anything people from Piltover do is not. When in fact, where they are born is irrelevant in this context. Because each and everyone of them has the choice to further the cycle, or to walk away.
Silco & Vander:
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Vander continued the cycle when instead of forgiving Silco for his part (whatever it may have been, we never really get the whole story) in Felicia's death he tried to kill him. And Silco did the same when he took his revenge instead of walking away ending not only the life of the man who wronged him, but causing the deaths of two teenage boys, trying to have Vi killed and causing her imprisonment altering her life forever, and taking Powder as his own after obliterating her second family altering her life and the lives of all those she would hurt through her actions as well.
Caitlyn:
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In Caitlyn we see all three. She was an admittedly naĂŻve but well-meaning young woman who was victimized terribly by cycle of violence around all for thinking she could help. We then watch her heart-breaking transformation into being a part of it allowing her hate and pain to warp her into someone dark and vengeful. Then finally we see her laying down the hate for her mothers killer in favor of her love for the woman who means everything to her. Stepping outside of it and turning her back on that violence.
There are of course other examples. Jinx walking away, Ambessa choosing to continue the bloodshed even with her last child begging her to stop. the list goes on. My point in discussing this is that it doesn't matter where they come from. Characters from all over this story play a part both good and bad in the events that occur. And to properly appreciate and understand this tale and what it is saying we MUST recognize that.
Yes Silco was a Zaunite. No Silco was not justified in unleashing Shimmer on his own people. He was a revolutionary once, but he lost his way. In the end he died a violent drug lord who exploited his people for his own gain. He was not a hero.
Yes Jinx is a Zaunite. No, Jinx attacking the council was not a noble strike for her people against oppression. She was a terrified, mentally ill, grieving and angry young woman who lashed out in a moment of awful pain. And in doing guaranteed Piltovan oppression against her people. .
Yes, Heimerdinger was the father of Piltover and his neglect caused terrible problems for everyone. He also gave his life for a Zaunite rebel commander to help get him home. (I understand in the lore he's probably alive but we haven't seen that yet and they have for sure diverged so it isn't a guarantee)
Yes, Caitlyn Kiramman is the daughter of one of the high houses of Piltover, and played a part of the people of Zaun suffering under Ambessa's manipulations and cruelty. She also gave the leader of the Firelights the gemstone she was so determined to return, stood side-by-side with Vi and told the council to their faces they failed Zaun, and put her own body on the line to make things right against Ambessa.
And that isn't to say that any of those characters were all good or all bad. It's to say that they all are capable of both. Just like every character. To slap a Zaun sticker on Silco and a Piltover (or cop as so many of you are fond of) sticker on Caitlyn and give them a pass or not for everything they do based on that is simplistic and ignorant. These characters have so much to them that to reduce them to these easily digestible bite-sized pieces is to deprive yourself of that true weight of this story.
All that said, lets take another look at a few items from that list from earlier:
"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"// At the moment where all of humanity was at stake, people came together and fought side by side to quite literally save the world
"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"// In a moment of pain and clarity Jinx found herself speaking to someone she realized she horribly wronged. Someone who had been twisted into something dark and violent by pain and grief, a feeling Jinx knew all too well. So she said the most she could, it isn't a direct apology. But her remorse is clear. "
"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"// Jinx went from someone hated and feared, who felt like she had nothing to offer anyone, who felt like she had failed or killed everyone who loved her, to riding into battle leading her people and bearing symbols of her loved ones into the war for all mankind. And although I and most agree she's alive, the last act we know she for sure that she took was to save the life of the older sister who loved her so much in her most dire moment. If she did die, Jinx died a hero.
CLOSING WORDS:
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Arcane is many things. But it's humanity is its heart. I've said it many times and many ways, but good stories... in this case great stories matter. They stick with us. Because long after the giant battles, the wolf monsters, and shiny blue magic rocks have faded, its the humanity you remember. The sisters fighting desperately to hold on to each-other in a world determined to rip them apart. The lovers from different worlds finding hope in each-others arms. Brothers betraying one another, a daughter having to take her mothers life, the list goes on. But when we rob these characters and this story of all of that, when the flash is gone, what's left?
I haven't done a long one in a bit and I feel like this is a bit rambling so I apologize. To those who take time out of their day to read anything I have to say I appreciate you more than you know. Feel free to share your thoughts! I love discussing this show. And in closing will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for"
- JRR Tolkien
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emilylawsons ¡ 2 days ago
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HI I’M BACK AND I FINISHED SEASON 3 AND I HAVE THOUGHTS™️
Newsreader spoilers under the cut
Okay first: THE NEWSREADER IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TREASURES TO GRACE TELEVISION AND IT DELIVERED ON EVERYTHING
ANYWAY…
The open ending as far as Helen and Dale goes—my shipper heart is a little sad we didn’t get a more explicitly romantic ending for them BUT these two have so much healing to do, and it starts with being exactly where they are. Finding peace and happiness as individuals before they give themselves to any relationship. And I think, no matter what any fan was hoping for, they can take this ending and decide how it goes for them. (Also the loving way Helen spoke to him and looked at him while she was talking to him off air. 🥹) They’re both exactly where they need to be and in their element, and that’s what the audience has been rooting for since day one.
THE PARALLELS AND CONNECTIONS TO THE FIRST EPISODE IN THE LAST ONE. Dale singing Kyrie in the car. Helen taking Dale home and talking care of him and “coming up with a plan.” Fucking brilliant.
Helen’s journey this whole season—getting a diagnosis and coming to grips with it. Being resistant at first but coming around and COMMITTING to getting better even when it’s hard and she hates it—frickin’ facing the place where she was locked up and endured additional trauma. She truly came into her own, and I’m just continuously blown away by Anna Torv and how, in every single project she does, she puts so much care and thoughtfulness into how she portrays her characters and the difficult situations they face. And she’s just a fucking incredible actress. THE SCENE IN 3.03 AFTER SHE GOT HER DIAGNOSIS AND CALLED DALE BROKE ME. I don’t think anyone else could have portrayed Helen. I just don’t. And Helen’s arc was all the more satisfying because the writers/creators decided to trust their talent and make her just as much a part of the creative process.
And Dale…oh my boy Dale. Sam frickin’ Reid the actor you are. Dale’s character arc has to be one of the most intense and challenging I’ve ever seen on TV, and Sam probably had the hardest job. Dale’s breakdown? OH MY GOD. We always knew Dale needed to break. He would have to be driven to the brink to be human again. And, just like with Anna as Helen, there was no one more qualified to bring Dale Jennings to life. Holy shit. Incredible, meaty, deep storytelling happens when you have creatives with a vision and actors they’re on the same page with. Sam got it from day one, and he saw it through to the end.
But Helen and Dale, stars of the show they are, are not the only incredible arcs we got to see. THE SATISFACTION OF WATCHING LINDSAY CUNNINGHAM GET KICKED OUT ON HIS ASS AND DENNIS SITTING IN HIS SEAT. The stuff of legends. And not just Dennis getting his moment (which we absolutely saw coming after he clocked Lindsay last season), but JEAN FUCKING PASCOE yelling at him from across the newsroom. I clapped. I cheered. And you know, I even cheered a bit for Evelyn Walters in all of it. She’s out for herself and still doesn’t get it (and Geoff was far from a victim), but she stood when it counted. She took action on one good thing. And watching them all collectively work together to get Lindsay what he deserved? Delicious.
And then we’ve got my girl Noelene who also went through The Most™️ oh… She’s got so much to figure out about standing up for herself and what she wants, and Rob’s got so much growing to do to be a better husband and father. But she did stand up for herself. She stopped being afraid to tell people how she felt and what she needed. She called Rob out on his racist tendencies and opened up to him about her work/motherhood balance, and she called out Helen for using her like everyone else and overworking her, and they both listened. She has hope ahead of her, and it was beautiful to see.
A few other small notes:
The whole Dale/Kay dynamic was so strange, but it needed to happen. Her constant comparisons of him and Geoff helped fuel his necessary fall. And it served to show what a terrible place Dale was in.
Cheryl got married!!! Good for her 🩷
Fuck Bill, and congrats to Helen for being like “I’m not gonna be punished because I didn’t wanna fuck you”
Tim gets a well deserved love and happy ending!!!
I’m really happy they brought back Linus. What a treasure.
Overall, as sad as I am to see this show go, they delivered on all counts. Everything they said they would be, they were. Every arc, satisfying. Just so beautifully and masterfully done, and with love by everyone involved. 18 episodes of perfection. And if Michael Lucas and Emma Freeman ever produce another show together and hire Anna Torv and/or Sam Reid or any of the wonderful-across-the-board cast? I will get my VPN’s worth as an American and be there for it.
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aevumisles ¡ 3 days ago
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As the blue moon reaches its apex...
A new wind flutters through a book, its pages pearlescent and empty. The light seeps in and scrawls across the surface like ink from a quill, for stories have been from the dawn of time, and so they would be told again and once more. Once upon a time, there was an Isle called Arcanus....
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
You have has lived in Arcanus your whole life. Perhaps you have good neighbors, good friends, and a closely-knit family. Or, perhaps your muse is a loner. A na'er do well, who slinks throughout Arcanus at their leisure, wreaking mischief and causing havoc.
Whatever the case, life is perfectly provincial, though never without the classical ups and downs of mundane life.
You never seem to get that internship you've been working hard for this past year. Your family always seems a bit too busy, or you end up missing all of your dates with who you just know is the perfect person.
Sometimes, you can't help but wonder if you're cursed.
THE CURSE.
The Echoes have been cursed to live in a world that never changes, and where time never moves forward. Aercon believe that the Echoes have lived in Arcanus Isle forever. Despite this, everyone can only remember up to one year in the past. Trying to remember past this results in a splitting headache that could Blip an Echo who attempts to remember too soon.
(SEE: "Breaking the Curse" below.)
The Plot:
Each Echo's Aercon Self should center around a key part of who they are. This could be a complete personality change to reflect a strongly held belief, or reversion into who they think they are.
But every good story has a source of conflict! Perhaps your Echo's story is a coming-of-age story! Only, no matter how they might strive to do good, they simply cannot muster the courage to do what they need to do. Or anything they want to do, actually.
Perhaps your muse's story is a romance. They fall in love easily... but they cannot seem to catch a break. If their dates don't bail on them, then they cheat, or perhaps they've fallen in love with someone else!
Whatever the case, your muse's happily ever after is always just out of their reach no matter how hard they try. Their efforts are thwarted at every turn, and it seems that they just cannot escape their horrible luck. Some days - most days, actually - it almost seems as though they aren't allowed to break the status quo, or have any hope of a happy ending at all...
Echoes:
Lose access to all powers and supernatural abilities, afflictions, and otherworldly knowledge and information.
Humanoid creatures may become fully human / mortal for the duration of the Blue Moon.
If a muse is anthropomorphic, they may take on a human form as if they have always been human. Should you choose for them to stay in their normal body, no one (including Aercon!) will bat an eye or consider this abnormal.
MORE IDEAS FOR CURSES:
Your muse is on top of the world. Famous. Beloved. But without their knowledge, they must comply with directives given if someone asks it of them with the word "please".
Your muse is a thief, and quite good at it! Only their adventures are dictated by a great debt they owe to another. (You may use Omerta Nostra and The Vices as you please.)
Unbeknownst to them, your muse is separated from their family member or loved one, and while it is possible to connect to them, their paths always seem to fall apart, and miscommunication runs amok just as soon as your muse begins to feel comfortable with them again.
Your muse is a humble person with a humble job and is overall fairly comfortable in their quaint little life. But every time they are asked to do something outside of their comfort zone, they always choose cowardice over action.
Your muse remembers everything. Thing is: they're the only one who has ever remembered, and no attempts to remind anyone else has ever gone anywhere for a whole year....
WHAT HAPPENS IF MY MUSE HAS JUST JOINED?
Your muse may also be effected by the curse! Aercon Personas believe they have lived in Arcanus their whole lives, even if they can all only remember (very vaguely) the past year, and their immediate circumstances. You're effectively making a character based off of your character! So have fun with it. :)
If you would like to refrain from participation, please see the FAQ below!
BREAKING THE CURSE.
Echoes can break the curse either by remembering their true lives, or through an act of good-will that breaks their curse.
REMEMBERING:
Echoes will experience severe cognizant dissonance upon their first attempt to truly remember. They will be aware that they can't remember anything, but the curse will allow them to accept this, and/or consider their True Self to be a myth, legend, or fairytale.
If the discrepancies continue to be brought up, they will begin to grow overwhelmed, and some may feel as if their whole life and personhood are complete lies. The possibility of a mental break is entirely possible at this point in time.
With further investigation and attempts to remember, the Echo will then experience a splitting migraine. One that could Blip an Echo who attempts to remember too soon.
An Echo with enough knowledge and willpower may be able to brute force their way through the migraine and regain their memories and all unlocked powers. However, this change will not effect other inhabitants of the Isle.
AN ACT OF GOODWILL:
PLEASE NOTE: that this method will require a few instances of pushing past your muse's personal curse. This may be implied, threaded out, or a combination of the two.
Echoes may help their friends with their stories!
If an Echo is pushed to break their own curse, then they will be on the path to remembering their True Self.
The world around the Echoes will do anything and everything it can to disallow the Echoes from making a positive change for themselves.
If an Echo's curse is a struggle with cowardice, then that Echo will feel even more inclined to act cowardly instead of with bravery. If an Echo is ripped apart from a loved one, it will seem as though the entire universe is setting up any and every scenario possible to keep them apart.
It is the act to be brave, or the endurance necessary to reunite that will break the curse, and allow the Echo the willpower to remember.
DO ALL MUSES HAVE TO PARTICIPATE?
It is recommended that you do! However, should your choose not to participate, your may start your threads taking place in-universe before the Blue Moon's arrival (February).
When the Blue Moon is finished, your muse may comment on it as someone who did remember their True Self, and found the situation uncanny, but was otherwise unaffected.
WHAT’S THE PARTICIPATION BONUS?
Aevum Isles awards 500 Emblems for participation in Blue Moon Events. 
HOW LONG DOES ACT I RUN FOR?
Act I of Untold Stories will run until February 8th, 2025. 
All threads started featuring Act I CAN be continued into Act II. 
You do not have to participate in both acts to count towards your activity, but both acts will only count towards a singular event participation.
Act II will be posted on February 8th.
I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION BUT IT’S NOT ON HERE.
Please let us know by asking your question in the Aevum Isles Masterlist’s Ask Box! 
Questions sent elsewhere (such as the Aevum Isles FAQ discord channel) will not be accepted, and instead Staff will ask to transfer your question to the Masterlist at this time.
You can find the Aevum Isles Event FAQ tag (HERE), the Untold Stories specific FAQ tag (HERE), and the general FAQ tag (HERE).
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diekleinesuesse ¡ 3 days ago
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Being best friends with Seungmin:
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Being Best Friends with Seungmin means having a Friendship Full of Laughter, Love, and Support
A Heart of Gold and an Ear to Listen
Being best friends with Seungmin means having a friend who truly listens. While he might be the energetic and witty vocalist on stage, off-stage, he’s someone who genuinely cares about your thoughts and feelings. Whether you’re facing tough times or celebrating successes, Seungmin would always make time for you. You’d know that when you need to talk, he’s there, offering sound advice wrapped in humor. His ability to listen without judgment would make you feel safe and understood.
Endless Laughter: The Seungmin Sense of Humor
One of the greatest things about being friends with Seungmin would be his knack for making you laugh. He’s the type of person who can turn any situation into a comedy sketch, always with the intention of lifting everyone’s spirits. With his sarcastic wit and playful pranks, hanging out with Seungmin would never be boring. Inside jokes would fill the air, and you’d find yourself laughing until your sides hurt. Whether it’s poking fun at each other or sharing funny stories, his infectious sense of humor would create memories you’d cherish forever.
Quiet Comfort: The Calm in His Storm
Though Seungmin is often the funny one in the room, there’s a calmness to him that would make your friendship feel even more balanced. In moments when things quiet down, you’d find comfort in simply sitting together in peaceful silence. These quiet moments of connection whether it’s talking about life or just being in each other’s presence would be just as meaningful as the louder, more energetic times. It’s a friendship where you don’t need to fill every moment with words, and that quiet understanding would make you feel truly close.
Competitive Spirit with a Soft Heart
Seungmin’s playful competitive side would add a fun twist to your friendship. Whether you’re battling it out in video games, sports, or casual challenges, you’d always know that Seungmin is giving it his all. His competitiveness would make every game exciting, but it would never overshadow the joy of spending time together. At the end of the day, no matter who wins, he’d be there with a smile, cheering you on and appreciating the fun you shared.
Supportive Through Thick and Thin
True friends have each other’s backs no matter what and Seungmin would be no exception. If you’re feeling down or going through a tough time, Seungmin would be the first to notice and check in on you. He might not always have all the answers, but he’d offer his support in his own unique ways. From small gestures like making your favorite food to just being there when you need him most, Seungmin’s kindness would never go unnoticed. He’s the kind of friend who cares deeply about your well-being, even in the smallest of actions.
A Friendship Full of Shared Experiences
As best friends, you’d also get the chance to be part of Seungmin’s life as a Stray Kids member. Whether it’s joining him during rehearsals, sharing backstage moments, or hanging out with the group, you’d feel like a part of his world. Watching Seungmin’s hard work and dedication firsthand would deepen your respect for him, and you’d find yourself cheering him on from the sidelines as he does what he loves. As you spend more time together, you’d form lasting bonds not just with Seungmin but with the rest of Stray Kids, creating memories that are hard to top.
Seungmin’s Friendship: A Treasure You’ll Hold Forever
At the end of the day, being best friends with Seungmin would be an incredible experience that combines humor, deep connection, and unwavering support. His genuine care for you would shine through in everything he does, whether it’s through his jokes, his competitive nature, or his quiet moments of understanding. A friendship with Seungmin is one you’ll always treasure, filled with love, laughter, and the knowledge that he’ll always be there for you.
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strwberryglass ¡ 8 days ago
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why are all the neglected readers and writers connected
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lale-txt ¡ 22 days ago
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Love the bingo event but 2 cards for readers vs 6 cards for writers is foul, why not more 😭😭😭
is it really foul or do just have no idea how long it takes to write sth
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brionysea ¡ 2 months ago
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if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest
#manifestation theory#I really hope not#like I don't. hate will. he's fine. but he's so easily likable that it doesn't feel rewarding to like him?#mike wheeler's been a menace this whole time so I had to put in work to figure him out#and they literally said 'getting to mike is the key' which would make sense if by understanding mike you understand everything#in the show where no one knows what's going on and also no one knows what mike wheeler is thinking ever. unrelated ofc#he isn't important look away. don't look at him#like why would they! make him the bad guy! if they're not going to MAKE HIM THE BAD GUY!!!!!#I'd say it makes too much sense not to do it but I'm always saying that and then these stupid shows do stupid things anyway#because. listen. if one of them is the heart and one of them has to die for the upside down to be permanently defeated#and that person is will#there's no conflict there. everyone loves will. because he's designed to be likable and for you to want him alive#but MIKE? mike's flawed. he's frustrating. he's a bad friend and a worse boyfriend. he's very obnoxiously a teenage boy#if it's mike the audience would need to be reminded that this is a Child‚ and no matter how much you personally dislike them#wanting children to die because you think they're useless and annoying and etc. IS NOT NORMAL#THAT'S NOT NORMAL! ESPECIALLY WHEN MIKE ALREADY THINKS THAT ABOUT HIMSELF!#mike being the heart gives the 'maybe we should just kill him' side of the trolley problem weight#think about it. really think about it. if they decide that mike has to die to keep everyone safe‚ what's going to happen?#the adults won't agree. hopper won't do it. he talked about killing mike before but he won't ACTUALLY let any of these kids die#maybe mike jumps off a cliff again but he needed the pressure of dustin's immediate safety and a countdown to make himself do it last time#what I think is more likely? nancy. she has guns in her bedroom (there's a 6 year old in the house I know where I keep my guns; her SISTER)#she hates the upside down for taking barb and making her feel like this; she wants to finish what they started - she wants to kill it.#if mike has to die‚ then nancy has to kill her own brother. because he can't do it himself and his big sister can do anything#does that sound right to you? this being the first time they agree and connect and are on the same page? is any of this right?
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lulu-the-bugaboo ¡ 6 months ago
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Interestingly enough, there are so many different views on why Ace didn't run away in marineford, despite the fact that Oda tried to provide an explanation. It feels like I have barely seen the same conclusion between two people.
#it feels like a math problem everyone found different ways to solve for themselves#for example I myself never took “Luffy was behind me” as a direct parallel to mg#mf*#I think it's one of those cases where Oda wants you to think deeper#while yes Luffy was in danger during mf and while they were running he wasn't in direct danger at that moment#mf put the focus very obviously on wb#I find Ace turning back very connected to the scene of him sobbing at everyone trying to save him#this is a boy who was told he was worthless and unwanted all his life#because of Roger#and WB as someone who knew Roger well told him it just did not matter to him and in general#Ace made his own mistakes and disobeyed direct orders and still wasn't abandoned#(this also strongly differs from Garp's relationship with him)#and then when the man who gave him all of that was dying because he saved Ace#and when he was totally helpless and unable to save that man#Ofc the insult from Akainu would be triggering#and comparing the man he considered a savior to one he considered to had ruined his life too#a lot of people say the insult was too simple#I don't think what the insult was mattered at all#the nature of it was enough to get to him#I know “never running” has always been in Ace's nature and a habit#but still the reasons aren't exactly the same#it's meant to show Ace's protective nature and his fear of losing those dear to him as Garp said#am I digging too far into this?#Am I making it deeper than it is?#maybe but this is just my take on it and what has convinced me#lulu rambles#one piece#portgas d ace#portgas d. ace
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guiscz ¡ 9 months ago
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whoblewboobear ¡ 7 months ago
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Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ‘don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
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visceralhit ¡ 2 years ago
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The coolest thing about art is that you can just make it. Anyone can make it. All it has to do is be something you feel. Good, bad, Doesn’t matter. Only you can make the thing you’re making. Just do it. 
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bullbobb ¡ 8 months ago
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Assistant Steve with emotions would be so funny because the main emotion bro would feel would be concern
Prof: so r u and lain friends on the interwebz
Assistant: what?? Have you taken your pills today??? Who is Lain??
Prof: everyone everywhere is connected lolz
Assistant: what???
Prof: let’s all love lain lmfao
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a-literal-toaster-wtf ¡ 2 years ago
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here’s a bunch of shows/movies that are connected solely by actors. feel free to leave suggestions or additions and i will add them
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kandicon ¡ 6 months ago
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Avatar of the Web who keeps getting mistaken for an avatar of the Stranger because nobody cares to understand the nuance between marionettes and mannequins.
#she starts. like. shoving spiders into the gaps of her ball joints just to prove a point.#actually wait I love this idea#this bitch has everyone tangled in her strings abd playing the part she wants them to. but no matter WHAT she does she can't get ppl to know#what the actual Fear she serves is unless she directly tells them (and then they don't always believe her).#She'll have a hunter quite literally caught in her web and being eaten by spiders and they'll still b like#''hmmmm idk I could have sworn I heard a calliope around here.'' and she'll be like ''That was my ominous organ music u BITCH''#What if she hangs out at festivals and raves and clubs and the like bc of how heavy they tend to b with addiction and hot beds for gossip#but everyone thinks she goes bc of the performance aspect/seeing everyone and knowing no one/getting lost in a crowd/unfamiliarity/etc.#because both the Stranger and the Web can thrive in those areas for completely different reasons#Also she always has a running tape recorder at music performances bc she thinks the Mother of Puppets would appreciate her edm <3#It isn't particularly appreciated but as far as offerings go it's relatively sweet so the spiders let it slide#I cannot overstate how much this web avatar clashes with Annabelle. Oh they're polite enough and have the same goals but anyone who sees#them in a room together will immediately start bleeding from the eyes.#It's the pairing of an immaculate vintage gothic paired with neon mismatched ravewear.#Plus where Annabelle looks very alive and leans into the spider aspect the other avatar is a lifesized marionette with her#wooden body visible where her skin tone makeup has smeared#I picture this avatar as like. she wears the shortest and skimpiest clothing that can still be qualified as clothing n not underwear with#kandi to cover her ball joints.#She decorates her marionette strings in neon lights and dances with them so nobody notices a few of those are connected to her ''flesh''.#and she marks in many ways but esp by trading kandi. the connection formed by a kandi trade is far more literal in her case. if u have kandi#from her it is a mark for you to be tracted down later yo either be tormented or feasted upon (preferably both)
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