#NO LONGER shall he be a twink

[littlesliceofimmortality]

Callum crown cosplay for halloween. #itshappeningnow

[sneakyparsnipslicer]

Birthday Transformation

Michael was on his last day of being 29, in just a handful of hours, he would be 30 years old, which isn't the end of the world, but to some it spells 'Twink Death'

And that's just what Michael had been, at least for the past decade; a blonde-haired twink. Of course it wasn't always that way. At one point Michael was a gangly ginger guy, and the change wasn't one he'd intended to go about.

On the night Michael turned 20, his body had completely transformed, the curly ginger hair shortening and becoming blonde, his body structure shortening and his body becoming more taught, even the goofy face and teeth had changed. It had baffled many who had known him in his college years, and it had changed him in a big way, no longer the unpopular art student, but a studly young man who changed courses for sports and fitness. He definitely became popular with the college athletes, though it was safe to say he'd spent a lot more of the past decade bottoming rather than topping. For a confident guy, his slim build didn't particularly scream dominating.

Of course as times had rolled on, more tools became useful to him, the invention of TikTok and OnlyFans had helped Michael build a following, even an income. He frequented the gyms in town to maintain his slim yet stocky build, for some it only made him more irresistable. In the year leading up to his 30th birthday however, close friends had begun talking about what turning 30 could mean for this career he'd built up. It's true many gay men lose interest in twinks when they turn 30, no longer as boyish-looking as they used to be, and Michael was no exception. Even he had begun to notice the wrinkles on his forehead when he raised his eyebrows. But who knows, maybe that miracle that happened 10 years ago might happen again.

Michael finished his day and headed home, made himself some dinner, had a shower and took off his clothing, looking at his body in the mirror in his bedroom. He'd put a lot of work into his appearance, keeping up with popular haircuts, wearing clothing that was in fashion, ensuring he kept some muscle despite the slim body. He thought back to his reaction when he'd woken up on his 20th birthday and his body had completely changed overnight, he was completely different, but it was still him. He massaged his smooth cheeks and chiseled jaw, he'd strangely never been able to grow facial hair. His pecs felt nice, if flat, his abs on point, his dick was pretty average, but then it wasn't like it mattered to the guys he'd slept with over the past decade, they were more busy pounding the bubble butt he called an ass. He took his phone off charge and took one last selfie, captioning it.

'Twink Death in T-Minus 2 Hours!'

He chuckled as he posted it, watching as it got reactions from the regulars on his social pages. Just then his phone began to ring, it was his friend Ryan. He swiped up and put the phone to his ear. 'Hey Ryan, what's up?' Michael asked. 'Hey Mike, I'm good. Just saw your post, you're not still hung up on that whole Twink Death thing are you?' Ryan asked. 'Oh, nah, it's all good. I'll just be turning 30, no biggie!' replied Michael, shrugging. 'Good mate, it's just I want you to know no matter what people say, you're still a gorgeous guy. That's not gonna change overnight' said Ryan. Michael looked back to his reflection and thought for a moment, what if this change he was thinking of didn't happen. 'You still there Mike?' asked Ryan, jumping Michael out of his trance. 'Oh, yeah, sorry just getting ready for bed. Look, shall we meet up for coffee tomorrow?' asked Michael. 'Yeah sounds good, maybe I can get some extra cream for the Birthday Boy' replied Ryan seductively. Michael laughed. 'Shut up Ryan! You get some sleep buddy. See you tomorrow!' chuckled Michael. Ryan wasn't bad really, he'd always had a soft spot for him. He was one of the few friends that knew Michael before his first transformation, and what a revelation that had been for both of them. Michael put his phone on his bedside desk and put a sheet over his mirror, he wanted to be surprised if a change did infact happen. He turned the lights out, sighed happily and snuggled up warm in his bed.

Michael had fallen deep asleep by midnight and that was when the magic began. It started with a growling in his gut as his stomach began to push out against his abs. Hair began to sprout out from his clean-shaven chest and arms as they began to bulk up and his shoulders became more broader and muscular. His hands grew and became more calloused, his legs and feet lengthened and became more hairier, hair was just growing from everywhere. Michael had taken to keeping everything clean-shaven, even his ass and groin, but these tiny dark hairs were coming from everywhere. His dick began to widen and lengthen, becoming a 7-inch girthy fuckstick with some pretty nice balls and his ass became two hefty, hairy melons that filled out his boxers better than before. Despite his body becoming bigger, his muscle definition didn't grant him too big of a gut, he wasn't skin and bones anymore, but he had a pretty huggable frame. Michael's neck began to fill out and dark facial hair began to sprout out, covering his chin, cheeks and jawline. His blonde hair grew out and became a dark brown, as did his eyebrows, becoming bushier and his face restructured granting him a sharp nose with some pretty kissable lips nestled nicely in his beard. The hair on his head kept it's relatively side-swept style, but it became a lot thicker and bushier, and there he laid in his bed, a changed man and yet unaware.

Michael woke up with a yawn, stretching and moving his hands down below the covers to stroke his morning wood under his boxers. 'Mmmm, nice' murmured Michael, feeling his new dick and snapping his eyes open in realisation, sitting upright and examining his new body. He was hairy to say the least, and he actually had a chest that a man could rest their head on now. He couldn't believe it had actually happened again! 'Holy fucking shit!' Michael gasped excitedly, feeling his throat realising his voice had become deeper. He sprang out of bed and tore the sheet off the mirror, being greeted by the man he had become overnight. He examined his face closely in the mirror, feeling his facial hair as it bristled against his fingers. The face itself looked strangely youthful, but worn. Honestly it was a look that Michael didn't mind, it was an experienced look. 'Goodbye Twink, Hello Daddy!' Michael said, laughing. He looked to his fully erect dick and then back to his reflection, wiggling his eyebrows and biting his lip, smiling. 'Guess we're not bottoming anymore huh? Unless someone's feeling brave!' Michael chuckled, feeling his dick again. He lowered his boxers and grabbed his shaft, enjoying the sight of himself masturbating. He began to work up a sweat and after some choice filthy talk, he came over his reflection in the mirror. Panting and leaning on the mirror, he looked his face up and down and smiled. 'We hit the fucking jackpot this time!' he whispered excitedly, kissing his reflection passionately. He was interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing, it was Ryan.

'Hey Mike! Happy Birthday man!' said Ryan happily. 'Ryan! Dude! It's so good to hear you! Thanks!' replied Michael breathily. 'Whoa man, you sound groggy as fuck! You just woke up?' asked Ryan. 'Uh, yeah. Something like that. We still on for coffee?' asked Michael, eyeing his wardrobe. 'Yeah, I can get to our usual spot in half an hour, sound good?' asked Ryan. 'Perfect! I'll see you soon. Got a few surprises for you!' said Michael, grinning and hanging up before Ryan could respond. He opened his wardrobe doors and grabbed a shirt, but then hesitated. He looked at the shirt and his reflection, he just wasn't feeling it. The styles he'd grown to wear just weren't doing it for him anymore, he searched his wardrobe for something grittier, leathery. He settled on a pair of ripped jeans, brown boots, white t-shirt and a leather jacket. He ruffled up his hair, this was a look he was vibing with. He used to be neat and fancy, but now he just wanted to be laid-back, smoky and seductive, like a Greaser. He pocketed his phone and headed out to the carpark to his car. Again he had a small car that did the job, but what he was really craving was a motorbike. He shook his head, he could sell his car later and get a motorbike, right now he had a date with Ryan, maybe he could get some cigarettes on the way.

Michael was still Michael and had always been him, the sporty fashion twink was gone now, a memory of a past life alongside the nerdy artist before him. This decade he was gonna be a lean leather daddy, and he was gonna love every day of it.

[thereaderinsertlady]

jevil x reader x dimentio? i can only imagine having to put both on child leashes to contain the chaos.. or bribe them with smooches.

We loove jesters in this household. Here's the link on ao3, and I hope you enjoy!

Jevil x Reader x Dimentio - Managed Chaos

Both of the jesters were getting on your nerves today.

One of them– the impish one with a tail, was currently eating your cereal that you just poured out for yourself not even ten seconds ago, and the other one– a manipulative little twink, was trying to get you to buy him an expensive set of playing cards he found in some magazine. 

“No,” you told Dimentio firmly. “I don’t care that they’re made of metal– it’s sixty whole coins! And you–” you pointed at Jevil. “Quit eating my cereal!”

Jevil’s tail swayed back and forth as he sat on the kitchen’s countertop, spoon in his mouth. He gave you a smile before responding with his mouth full of cereal. “I can do anyf’ing, anything!”

“Not in this house you ain’t,” you hissed, throwing a balled-up paper towel at him. “Go get your own cereal! You don’t even like that kind! And– And quit talking with your mouth full!”

“I do’t care ah-t all, at all!” His tail swayed more, as if he was proud of himself. 

You eyed him. “You’ll care when I shove my foot up your ass,” you grumbled, shuffling over to the fridge and opening it, no longer wanting cereal.

…Dimentio slooowly peered over your shoulder. “So like a bee ready to strike, are you sure you don’t want to get me that card set?”

“I’m sure,” you huffed. “And I thought you were going to meet with that little gumball guy?”

“Marx?” Dimentio pouted. “We-ell, he’s in jail.”

“...Jail?” You looked over your shoulder to stare at him. “Why?”

“Ooh, well, you knooow,” he waved a casual hand. “Trying to kill people, as per usual.”

You rolled your eyes, eventually closing the fridge. No breakfast for you. “You should find better friends.”

He giggled, leaning in to smooch your cheek. “Why find ‘better’ friends when I have yooou, my dear?”

“And muh-e!” Jevil chimed with a mouth full of food.

“...And you,” he pouted again, briefly eyeing him.

You rubbed your face tiredly. “Let’s go to the store in a bit. I need to lay down for a minute,” you said, going over to the living room to flop down onto the couch tiredly. You really needed a nap of some kind…

After a solid minute, you felt a certain impish jester crawl onto your back, laying on top of you as if he was a plank of wood. 

“Jevil,” you mumbled, your voice coming out muffled. “Whatchu doin’...?”

“Sleeping, sleeping.”

“Mkay.”

After a bit longer, a blanket was laid atop of both you and Jevil, a figure sitting on the arm rest. “I shall watch over you two,” Dimentio said with a smile.

“How come you always watch me sleep?” You asked, keeping your face pressed against the couch.

“To make sure you’re safe, of course! Jevil does it too.”

“I do, I do!”

You rolled your eyes, though couldn’t help but smile a little. Letting your eyes close, you got comfortable to the best of your ability, slowly drifting off into dreamland.

[mindstriker]

pspspsps I have not played BG3 but I’d listen to you get on the soapbox about Astarion and Gale and Lae’zel. :] I love the vampire…twink(?) and hearing good things about that Gale guy and the frog(?) lady who makes my gender kinda start buzzing like a cicada <3

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, AND HOW NOW SO SHALL I.

Seriously though, thanks for giving me an excuse to yap. As much as I am an enjoyer of fandom shipping, I am also a friendmaxxing visitorpilled individual and while I'm a strong proponent of pretty much every Baldur's Gate 3 Origin character being friends to some degree, I have my favourites, and Lae'zel, Gale, and Astarion are a trio I find particularly compelling. Maybe just because my first playthrough I exclusively travelled with them and loved their shared dialogue. So! THE DYNAMIC (as I see it.)

This is gonna be a long post. Oops.

Gale + Astarion

The one that I like equally as a romantic and platonic venture. I'm gonna be real, I tend to like these two as an actual romantic pairing- but that's irrelevant here. I've been over the lighter reasons why I think they'd be the ultimate pompous wine aunts of the group before, but there's a bit more to it than that.

Asides from shared aesthetic and literary interests, when I say I think they like each other in a surprisingly uncomplicated way despite their personal complexities, I truly do mean it that way. I feel that Gale is the type of person Astarion could truly come to cherish as a friend, once he's in a better place personally. He's startlingly authentic, giving Astarion a space to be as well, should he wish, rather than keep up his entirely charming facade- kind to others while also being... morally flexible enough to pique Astarion's interest and to avoid making him feel like he's being monitored by someone TOO well-intentioned (because I love Astarion, but he IS a bit of a bastard and will be forever, I reckon). On Gale's front, I genuinely think a part of him would feel incredibly vindicated by having a friend in Astarion- someone who would unabashedly encourage his ambitions and wilder interests (but whom I believe would still have his best interests vaguely at heart). Obviously that can take a darker turn under some scenarios- but I like to think that Astarion's playfulness and willingness to embrace his curiosity and passion about the stranger and more... reckless side of his work could be freeing to him. Like having that one friend that finally listens to you when you say "hear me out" and only intervenes if it's a TRULY bad take. Someone he can actually be mischevious with- because Gale IS a bit of a little shit himself, when he's given the freedom to be without guilt.

Gale + Lae'zel

This is the unusual friendship that I go the hardest about. I am so normal about them and what they could mean to each other. Lae'zel is incredibly dismissive of Gale initially, as she is with most of the others- but she's incredibly soft towards him by gith standards starting from the moment he demonstrates genuine respect and curiosity towards her and her people. Assessing his physical combat skills as less-than-deal shortly after meeting him, she even goes so far as to offer to *literally* train him in gith combat tactics shortly into your journey. That is not an offer I think Lae'zel makes lightly, or out of pragmatism alone. Is it because she sees him as weak? Yes. But it's also because she sees him as capable enough to become stronger, and worth training so that he is no LONGER weak. Most githyanki would not do that for another, especially one they had not met. Lae'zel is incredibly kind and giving to the others from the get-go no matter what anyone says about her "attitude"- putting her life and the code of ethics she lives by on the ropes to help a bunch of outsiders from the very start- but she is especially so to him, someone which many of her people may have outright discarded as useless.

From there, she starts to answer some of his questions. I like to think he talks to her about Faerun in turn for every question he asks- recognizing that the earth is as alien to her as she is to it. That's a good start for any friendship, really- mutual curiosity.

And then it gets stronger, as their personal struggles are revealed. The moment Lae'zel begins to waver in her faith and her dedication to Vlaakith is right around the same moment she hotly declares Mystra a fool for "demanding that Gale place all her faith in her and giving him none in return". She defends him against a literal god, declaring him capable and part of a mighty group- a stunning turn from her initial assessment. She balks at the idea of sacrificing him when she believes so firmly that it's an unnecessary waste of a skilled man. Possibly one she now considers a friend.

They are, in many ways, similar. Groomed in different senses by gods/god-like powers that only sought to milk them for all they were worth and then discard them when convenient. Manipulators of a celestial variety- the type of people who leave you with the realization that your entire life has been wasted serving them. Both of them were even wanted for their power- Laezel for her unwavering loyalty and militant prowess, Gale for his magical ability.

So, TLDR: They have, from the beginning, connected to each other via mutual understanding. They go through shocking life changes together and find solace in finding understanding in someone whose struggle initially seemed so alien to the other. From there, I feel like they'd genuinely find more casual things to bond over as Lae'zel discovers her enjoyment of Faerun and its wonders. No one would go ham over having a friend newly excited to learn about the world than Gale "could talk at length about anything" Dekarios.

Astarion + Lae'zel

This doesn't seem right at first, right? Poncey (lovingly) vampire meets unwaveringly stoic alien warrior. Except there's something ruthless and downright STURDY about Astarion that I can see Lae'zel quietly appreciating from the beginning. She can tell that he's willing to go the distance- even if they butt heads over her revulsion concerning the tadpoles and Astarion's attempts to wheedle the group into using them for their own gain. I feel like respect is shockingly easily earned for him on her front. In turn, I feel like Astarion is quite wary of her first- but honestly? He might be vaguely assuaded by the fact that Gale, arguably the most vulnerable of them all, just seemingly wanders around chatting with her intermittently without losing any limbs or being verbally abused. He also definitely clocks right off the bat in that scheming way of his that she'd be an incredibly helpful ally to have.

Except she's not easily seduced, or swayed by charm and friendly platitudes. Instead, I think the thing Lae'zel would silently begin to appreciate about him first is the subtle ways he shows interest in the world around him- his dialogue about not remembering how much colour there was in the world, and the like. As someone who's learning to love her new surroundings bit by bit, I can see her sympathizing with his newfound adoration of the daylight and outdoors he was deprived of for so long.

Later, she wholeheartedly supports Astarion's campaign to be rid of Cazador, and he even gleefully states "good for her" when she decides to turn her back on Vlaakith- so I reckon they're another check on the front of "friends bonding over overthrowing those who have been unrighteously in charge of them for so long". The circumstances are highly different, but the sentiment is shared: fuck that guy, I won't be their puppet anymore.

Finally, in the ending where Lae'zel chooses to stay on Faerun and forge her own fate exploring a new world, I can see her and Astarion working together- both enjoying their newfound freedom from cause and control and absorbing all the joys of a *functionally* new world for the both of them. With the aid of their far more local wizard friend who's less prone to the battlefield, of course. I can see them teaming up for a glorious adventure or two easily. Battle buddies, and the like.

[hulloitsdani]

I feel like the longer I draw Kiran being all sly and mischievous, the more I re-examine Alfonse’s “promise you’ll never leave us without warning me first” line and realize this dude got more than he bargained for. Like he don’t know it yet but he is stuck with this silly little chaos gremlin for the next few years of his life and you best bet he will not be free from their mayhem. You thought Kiran was stuck in magic land with him but NO everyone is stuck in magic land with Kiran. No one is safe. Least of all this emotionally constipated twink. He will end up endeared and they shall end up besties and Kiran is going to attack Alfonse with hugs when he least expects it.

[canonically47]

what do we think of james

i absolutely love james. james is my favorite DCS2 character. i wish he stayed longer in DCAS SO BADLY, his presence could've solved a lot of drama but nOoOOoOOoo give all that screentime to the annoying white twinks why don't you. oh my GOD we could've had SO MUCH of this awesome guy if not for blue-haired-bitch-who-shall-not-be-named

i love james and the way his relationship with aiden progresses and i think nobody was more deserving than him to win season 2. he was a great dude all around with a good strategy and generally good chemistry with the cast. i wish he was in a better series

[anxious-scrambles]

Wedding ask game!! Can I ask your 1 & 2? Any ship that you feel you'd like to do the most ♡♡

I’m gonna do these together.

Fic prompts here

Proposal and Wedding or Something Else

There was no real time to celebrate the words that passed between them quickly, behind the closed doors of their private room in Elfsong Tavern. The revelry of victory swept both Dreuer and Gale back into the streets, back among comrades to be seen and adored by the survivors of Baldur’s Gate.

It made Dreuer uncomfortable to be the subject of such celebration. He was responsible for this, after all.

The private suite was a welcome sanctuary once again in the aftermath of it all. A place to shut themselves away and sleep, or otherwise enjoy one another’s company.

Free of the Orb, Gale no longer felt guarded with Dreuer. The later afternoon stretched easily into night filled with slow, indulgent lovemaking.

It was in the dark of the room, while Gale called twinking stars and sweeping auroras into existence above their head, that the morning’s conversation began to sink in.

“… did you mean it?”

Dreuer turned his head to peer at the man beside him. Gale looked back at him, one hand still extended towards the canopy of the bed.

“Mean what, my love?”

“What you asked this morning? If I would join your family?”

Gale laughed, shifting his weight.

“Of course I meant it. I’m not in the habit of making proposals on a whim.”

Dreuer’s tail swished back and forth over the side of the bed, a metronome to steady his thoughts.

“You would send invites far and wide?”

“I have an inconveniently large family.” Gale chuckled, looking back at his spell work. “You’ll see, soon enough. Once I introduce you of course.”

Why did that fill Dreuer with a strange sense of dread?

“So you do wish to marry me?” The tiefling asked, his low and monotonous voice quirking upwards with uncertainty. “I thought it might have been a mistake on my part.”

It wasn’t without reason that Dreuer thought so little of himself. He was a wretched creature born for slaughter, to be given romance in gentle, cupped hands was something almost inconceivable.

“… Shall I ask you again?”

Gale sat up, his hair curtaining his face and the bedsheets pooling around his waist as he reached for Dreuer’s hand. Dreuer lifted himself too, propped up on one hand as he let Gale carefully cradle his fingers.

“Dreuer Wildfel… will you marry me?”

Dreuer laughed, almost nervous, struck with the sudden rush of giddy euphoria he had been too bewildered to recognise before.

“Ask me again.”

“Will you marry me?”

“Again.”

Gale’s laugh turned devilish, pulling the tiefling closer to thread his fingers into his hair.

“I don’t need to ask you again.”

Their lips came together, a languid dance of tongues and Dreuer’s mind chased a thousand possibilities around in his skull. A grand temple ceremony filled with Gale’s family. A secret hideaway for just the two of them on a remote island with a cleric they would never see again…

A sun drenched spring afternoon on a Waterdhavian hillside, their dearest friends at their sides and their hands bound in cord.

He silently prayed for the latter.

Read more about the Waterdeep Wedding here (spoiler alert it doesn’t go to plan)

[oliveth3b0rrower]

Hehehehe😈

*attractifies Shamus*

Now he shall no longer be a twink boi

MWAHAHAHA

😱😰😭

oh no!! He built confident now..

watch out!! He comin for your mans!!

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 8

He supposed his tactics had worked, because they had been making themself more a of a nuisance than ever. 

They had tried multiple times, multiple ways, to draw his attention. 

While he was working on painting one of the props for their set, they cleared his work station with a single hand and then sat there in its place, right in front of him on the table. 

He responded by heaving a sigh and gathering his items from the floor. As he bent over, they made a comment on how he good looked like that. 

“Don’t move. Just like that,” they cracked a smile, stretching out over the table on their stomach, head in their hands and feet in the air. “You should just work like that.” 

He had merely arched a judgmental brow at them before flipping them over onto their back and pushing them off the table. They huffed, clearly bored, suspicious, and annoyed. 

They’d also tried instigating fights in his silence. 

“You’ve probably heard this before, but you look like… one of those tumblr sicklyboys.” They smirked at him. 

“A what? Tumblr? Does that even exist anymore?” He put on a confused look as he pressed the staple gun into the wall and pulled the trigger, securing the wallpaper. 

He knew what a tumblr sicklyboy was, and yes, he had heard it before. He was gay and listened to My Chemical Romance throughout not only middle school, but also high school. Of course, he knew his way around tumblr.

“Nothing.” They responded too quickly, sighing shortly, diverting their attention back to rolling glue on the false wall they’d constructed. Silas cut his eyes at them with a smirk. 

“I bet you run an aesthetic blog. Complete with edgy quotes and poetry about blood and love like a knife and whatever.” He teased, grinning. 

“I don’t know what that is.” They smirked, eyes trained on their work. 

“But you know what a sicklyboy is?” He arched a challenging brow, still grinning. 

“Just like you know what an aesthetic blog is? With the quotes and poetry?” They shot him a teasing but clearly irritated look. 

“Klaus. I was 12 once. I listened to MCR – hell, I even made like 40 copies of that one album, just in hopes that Gerard Way would come to my house and suck my blood. And, more importantly, I’m gay. So yeah, I know about tumblr. You’re my poor little meow meow or whatever.” He rolled his eyes, continuing to apply the wallpaper, and missed the tinge of pink his final claim put on their cheeks. 

“I bet you run a shitty meme blog. I bet it’s not even funny.”

“I bet your run a gore blog. You probably post snuff.” 

They paused and smirked at him. Wolf eyes. 

Yeah, that was it. 

“I bet you run a porn blog. So bad that everyone has you blocked because they think you’re a porn bot.” 

Silas scoffed.

“Yeah, everyone except you.”

“You fucking wish. I bet you have terrible, batshit insane, terminally online opinions. I bet you think that shitty couples in media is toxic representation and glorification of abuse or something stupid like that.”

Silas cracked a laugh.

“You better thank your lucky stars I don’t, because I’d never fucking talk to you if I did.”

“What does that mean?” 

“Klaus, you are toxic representation.” 

Klaus gasped, feigning offense. 

“How dare you.” 

Silas chuckled.

“Shall I list the ways thou art god-awful?” 

“If it pleases you.” Klaus sighed, feigning annoyance.

“For starters you’re a twink,” Klaus let out a resounding sneer, no longer feigning their offense. “Worse, you're like, a murdertwink. And you’re bitchy. And kind of evil. You have the audacity of a fucking dictator.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Case in point. And you’re wildly manipulative. Like, it’s your favorite hobby. Not even an exaggeration.”

“None of that is remotely true.” 

“Now you’re gaslighting me. You’re literally a terrible person.” He grinned. 

“You adore me for my atrocities.”

“Considering most, if not all of them are for me?” 

Klaus scoffed, suddenly red in the face and balking. 

“You fucking wish. What, you want me to admit you’re my evil muse or something?” 

Silas smiled broadly, realizing they’d just admitted as much. He felt brilliant in every sense of the word. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” They glowered. 

“Like what?”

“Like you’re all smug and pleased or something. Disgusting.”  

“You know what?” 

“…what?” They hissed, eyes narrowed. 

He shoved their back into the wall and swiftly unrolled the wallpaper over them, stapling it on their other side. 

“Silas, you little fucking…” They hissed, paper crackling as they squirmed. “I’m going to find your blog just to send you suicide bait.” 

He cackled, taking his phone out to snap a picture. He was so busy photographing their humiliating moment that he missed them pull a knife from their pocket. 

In one deft line, the knife cut through the wallpaper, revealing an incensed Klaus. 

Their eyes were dark and smoldering – not in the sexy way, in the I’m about to kill you way. Although… Silas supposed those things were not mutually exclusive and could even be synonymous when it came to Klaus. 

Oh, wait. Right, they had a knife. 

“Oh shit.” 

“Yes, Silas, oh shit.” They hissed, and suddenly they had him by the collar, with their knife at their throat. He let out a shaky breath. 

A beat passed in silence as Silas wondered once more whether he was scared, turned on, or both. He tried to swallow the flush he felt rising to his cheeks.

He shoved them into the wall and put the staple gun to their neck. 

They smirked, eyes flickering down for a moment before sifting over his face. They smiled, seeming pleased. 

He moved the staple gun over to their shoulder, adjusting his finger on the trigger, keeping his gaze trained on their own. 

“I’ll do it.” He breathed. He kind of really wanted to. 

“Then do it.” They cut the first button off his shirt. His teeth pulled at his bottom lip unawares. 

He wondered if they wanted him to hurt them, or if they just wanted to test his loyalty – to test if he’d obey. He remembered when they were choking him. How they had called his bluff, how they saw that he’d liked it. He wanted to drive them into that same corner. 

He wondered if they’d back down if he questioned them. 

“You want me to hurt you?” He teased, voice dropping low, somewhat raspy. 

“I want to see if you have the balls to do it. Or do you not want to? Do you not hate me enough?” Their grin was terrible, all haughty and dark. He was certain that last part was going to haunt him at night. Do you not hate me enough? 

Their tone and words and grin seemed to pull some previously undiscovered loose thread in his stomach. He felt something come undone in a single instant. 

He pulled the trigger and they let out a pained sound – though, not the kind he had expected. Muffled by the pull of teeth at their lip: pained, undeniably, but unmistakably lewd. Their head had craned back into the wall, brows knit and mouth agape. 

He took a moment to appreciate the vision: anguish and pleasure all wrapped up in a horrible little bow. 

“Anguish looks great on you,” he breathed before tearing the staple back out, drawing another muffled sound from the other. 

Their face had gone red and breathing measured and heavy, eyes forced shut. They looked like they were struggling to stand, as if their knees threatened to buckle. 

“Feeling alright, princess?” He grinned into their ear. He felt them stifle their next reaction, turning their head to reveal their neck as they looked at their bleeding wound, pressing the pads of if their index finger to it, pulling away with bloody fingers.

They bit their lip, failing to regulate their breathing before driving their bloodied hand into his hair and slamming his back into the wall. They always had been too good at turning tables. 

They cut the second button from his shirt, hand still fisted tightly in his hair.

He had never seen the look they were wearing. Not on them, not on anyone. Mirth, bloodlust, and… well, what he assumed to be their own personal version of lust. He was certain his own face was showing at least the latter. Because good god, he didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on in his life. 

They shucked the third button, pulling his shirt open and pressing their blade into his chest. Their eyes flickered back up to his, as if silently asking permission. Being that his heart was pounding in his ears and his blood hot, he let his face do the talking for him, the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He watched their teeth pull at their lip as they grinned wryly. 

It burned, sharp pain scorching through his skin as they dragged the edge of their blade into his chest. It was only a couple inches, but it was perfect. He failed to fight his smile, mind going haywire and hazy. 

They pressed their fingers into the wound, making him hiss at the pain. 

A million fuzzy thoughts flooded his head as they took their bloodied fingers into their mouth, eyes locked on his. 

That they were such a bitch, sick and twisted and that of course they got off on this kind of thing. How fuck, that was ineffably hot. How he wanted more. How his body really wanted more and if he wasn’t careful they’d probably sock him in the dick. How his blood was rushing, hot and sweet. How he was afflicted in a new and terrible way. How good it felt. How he felt like a stick of dynamite, his too-short wick dangerously close to the flame – and they were the flame. How he wanted to tear their shirt open and put his mouth on their own wound. How he wanted to snatch their wrist and put their bloody fingers in his mouth. And taste his blood on their tongue.

He had to stop thinking. 

Well, wasn’t that terrible. 

“I knew you liked it.” They whispered, eyes full of sadistic mirth. 

“I’m not the one who moaned. Seems to me you more than liked it.”  

[dysiver]

I can't believe we have to wait a little bit longer to see our twink son. He shall be missed. Sometimes I can still hear his voice :(

I'm right here you assholes 😭 wtf

[moonbeam408]

A CRACKING ADVENTURE

Ignis accompanies Rosie (@rosepetalmoon) and Escargoon on a quest and stuff happens.

Rated M for snenis and general Ignis Knight bullshit.

Hey readers are you ready to hear a tale of questing knights, small breasted humans and an obnoxiously stereotypically gay snail?

No? The fuck do you mean "no"?! Oi, get back here!

Now where were we? Ah yes....

Our story begins in the kingdom of Dreamland, on the planet Popstar. There at the heart of the kingdom lay the village of Cappy Town where there lived a stupid lazy ass King called Dedede. He was a dumbass motherfucker. He never paid his debts but somehow those organisations never cut him off from their services... how odd.

Anyway. It was a bright and sunny day in Cappy Town. Why if you looked carefully you could see one of the knights, their laughter ringing out as they gleefully burned down the local eatery.

This was not the first time it had been burned down by this maniac of a knight. But it was the first time the owner, a Cappy by the name of Kawasaki had to be dragged out of the burning building kicking and screaming.

But the Knight called Ignis would not allow it. For they felt that Kawasaki must suffer pain and humiliation until he produced food that was actually edible. So this is likely going to go on for a good while longer.

Anyway our heroes of this tale are the star warrior Rosie and her snail fuckbuddy Escargoon. The two had a problem. For you see the snail twink had managed to get himself afflicted with a curse. So they needed to set off on a quest to lift the curse. But they needed a knight to go with them.

There were four knights in the castle. The brave Meta Knight who spoke with a heavy Spanish accent and had an unseen mariachi band with him at all times.

The very British sounding Sword Knight.

The absolutely incomprehensible Blade Knight, who always stuck with his caretaker/handler/translator Sword Knight.

And finally the castle lunatic. Ignis Knight. Ignis didn't know how they got a job at castle Dedede, or Castle Deedles as they called both it and the ruler. The last thing they remember was getting blackout drunk and waking up in the castle with a signed employment contract.

Even worse for our hapless couple... the first three knights were either very busy or just couldn't be bothered to go.

So plucking up all the courage in the world. Rosie and her snuckbuddy (snail fuckbuddy) went to ask Ignis to accompany them on the quest.

It would be a long and frightful journey. The trio met new creatures and cultures... before watching helplessly as Ignis destroyed them in a firestorm for shits and giggles.

Oh dear, maybe this was why Meta Knight had been against giving Ignis back their flamethrower.

Leaving behind the screams of the dying, the trio of halfwits entered a really dark cave system where the curse would finally be revealed to Ignis.

"Anyone got a torch or glowstick?" Ignis asked, straining through the darkness. The burning infant that had served as their torch had gone out a while back. And they were all out of infants to burn.

Just then a faint green glow began to show itself from Escargoon's waist. Ah hah! Ignis thought. A massive glowstick!! That would be useful. Sadly it wasn't giving off a lot of light. Ah well that just meant you had to crack it some more!!

Ignis ignored Rosie and Escargoon’s attempts to stop them. They grabbed hold of the glowstick which felt strangely slimy. No matter. It shall be cracked.

With a loud snap and a crack the light increased in its intensity to light up the entire cavern. Though Ignis could do without Escargoon's constant screaming and wailing.

"Will you shut up Goonads!" But there was no stopping him. For there was no glowstick. The curse had made Escargoon's snenis (snail penis) glow like the brightest of glowsticks.

And Ignis had snapped it in multiple places.

Deeper in the caves they found the relic they had been searching for. The buttplug of Oingo Boingo. Ignis slammed it into the snail's ass and thus the curse was broken. But so was his snenis.

Soon enough the three fools arrived back in Cappy Town to learn that Kawasaki had died and his teacher Chef Shiitake had built a new restaurant. Thank fuck for that.

Escargoon's snenis would eventually recover. But they never forgot the lessons they had learned. Don't take Ignis without the other three to try and keep them in line.

The end

[is-very-sad]

Obey Me crossover pt2

Warnings: demons behaving like demons; including murder, sadism, implied human eating, implied mass death, some black humor bc I love these horribly sinful bois and can't resist having some fun with this~ I also call Asmodeus a twink affectionately- no insult intended Word count: 1,403

Beidou and her crew were traveling when they saw a great beast unlike anything before. She ran to the bow to inspect the thing, it must've been longer than islands! She has no idea. She was about to call her crew to arms when she spotted you, along with six others on the creature's head and back. You lay comfortably in coral like horns that were longer than her ship was large in any direction.

Beidou gaped in awe. She's been at sea for weeks. She was still pure. She hadn't been pulled into mob mentality like the rest of Teyvat. And now she sees you so comfortably riding on a creature of such legendary size?

She knows. You're the Creator. You couldn't be anyone else. She and her crew collectively fall to their knees and cling to the rigging for support. No one speaks as you glance at them. Bediou's heart skips a beat when you smile at her, filled with unspoken thanks. At least you could spare her.

The ship and her crew watch in awe as a massive, yet still smaller seven headed creature follows in the wake of your party, and then countless smaller things. Men and women with the tails of fish, teeth and nails a little too sharp. Strange creatures, massive shark like beings, and possibly more, under the waves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ships sink in droves as the naval army spreads to surround Inazuma. You look upon the city as you remember how you were nearly drowned at the hands of the Shogun's guards. You contemplate how you want to do this. As you and six others step onto the docks; The Leviathan and his forces move to patrol around the helpless island city.

"Satan, Asmodeus." The two look to you eagerly. You simply point at the Shogun's palace. "Don't bother holding back." Asmo cackles - somehow daintily- as he stretches his four small wings and flies easily in the given direction. Satan has no wings, but he takes the opportunity to sightsee.

And by sightsee you mean he immediately begins eviscerating the samurai that are in the way. The poor creatures almost emit pity from you, they can't even move fast enough to keep eyes on Satan as he lunges between targets.

"Beelzebub, Belphegor…" You think for a moment. A dry grin. "Go have fun. Find someone tasty." Beelzebub immediately moves to find his share of the coming feast. Belphegor lazily follows, casually breaking anyone that gets close enough.

You decide you'd like a view. "Mammon, would you fly me higher?" Mammon does so, because he is a simp. Lucifer figures the lack of orders means you trust him to do something useful with himself. He figures he'll go to the left of the harbor, none of his brothers have gone that way. Maybe he'll find something interesting. Shall he use his claws, or just crush the foe?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kokomi runs through her base as screams echo across the walls. She arrives at the center to find a horned man holding a trident of coral. A massive tail snaps one of her people's neck as he faces her. Venom drips from serpentine fangs. She shivers as he hisses.

She readies her catalyst, Levi walks towards her slowly. She sends a wave of hydro, it bounces off the demon in front of her. She stares blankly before a tail fractures her wrist. She cries in pain. Desperate attacks yield no results, the creature before her drags her towards him.

"Y/n." She freezes. "H-how do you know the Creator's true name?" Levi grins, fangs glinting. "[First] [middle] [last]." Kokomi had no way of knowing if that was the true full name of her God. But something about his confidence strangled her heart.

"No…" She began crying. Levi's grin grows tenfold as she understands who she sent away in their time of need. Levi thinks on how they once gushed about her. How sweet and cute they thought she was. His envy rises. He has time.. "You were a favorite, you know." Kokomi flinches, both from the guilt and the tail harshly tugging her broken wrist forward. "They thought you were so kind.. A shame they'll never make that mistake again." Crying turns to full sobbing. Gorou stumbles as Levi's eyes snap to him, freezing him in fear before he could even attempt something.

Y/n liked him too. Wonderful, now he can break both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a courtyard; perhaps a garden, Ei and Sara stand back to back anxiously. They couldn't even see them move beyond a blur. It was seconds between their crashing through the walls and the deaths of every general or soldier in their way.

The Shogun levels her pole arm at a blood drenched blond, eyes slitted and deranged as his smile. Green fire burns from cracks in his skin as tar drips from bloody talons. Despite her composure, she feels the slightest shake in her limbs.

Sara struggles to stay calm as the bloody twink in front of her vividly describes with glee how he might kill her. His scorpion tail practically wags as he seems to shiver in excitement.

Satan loses patience as his hand crushes the spot Ei was in seconds before. Sara leaps to the side as this seems to spur her opponent into action, delighted laughs chilling her blood as talons reach for her.

The exchange between the Shogun and y/n's Wrath doesn't last for more than ten seconds before lightning cracks to her pole arm, purple energies lashing towards the demon that dared stand before the electro archon. She looks in contempt at the hole he was thrown through.

And then her heart nearly stops at the unholy howl that pierces the air. It was barely even two seconds before a hulking thing charged back through the wall. Black skin and exposed rib bones, a unicorn skull with a green mane of hate made manifest. Useless wings hang limp as a skeletal tail sharper than any blade rips through the building it came through. Tar stained hooves and tar crack the ground.

Her mind nearly breaks there, archon status barely giving her mind enough strength to stay itself. That doesn't change that she screams in true panic as it breathes hellfire, nor does it change that she barely dodged in the first place. Sara screams in the background somewhere, her mind not nearly strong enough to survive such a sight. A second scream rings out when Asmodeus catches her during her moment of distraction.

For an impressive minute, Ei manages to stay in front of the relentless assault of Wrath made flesh. Alas, she forgets the tail. Ironically, Satan also did. The tail swings with a mind of its own as Ei performs a graceful jump over tar stained talons. Graceful until the tail cleanly cuts her arm off diagonally at the shoulder. She collides harshly to the ground, shock filling her as she notices her lack of a left arm. She fails to break out of her confusion before two hands the size of her body grasp into fists and crush her to a crumpled mess of blood and shattered bone. Somewhere in the background Asmo laughs as Sara screams. Seems he decided to utilize his poison. She dies slower than her shogun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Belphegor lazily follows Beel's path of hungry destruction. He isn't covered in blood, but he's certainly not clean. Only a handful on this side have managed to get past Beel long enough to meet him. A store catches his eye. Those blankets look comfortable, would y/n like them?    He sidesteps, a sword where his back was. Ayaka stands before him, though he doesn't know her name. Her eyes show confusion, how did he know she was there? Belphegor chuckles airily. "You've never seen a true demon, have you?"     Her eyes narrow, "So you're demons? Seems appropriate." She straightens into a combat stance."You still won't prevail, enemies of Ina-"    Belphegor grows tired of her and grabs her throat in a vice grip with his tail. He tilts his head with a grin as she struggles. He's always fascinated by the faces people make as they struggle to breathe.    It's fortunate she's dead by the time Beelzebub doubles back in search of his twin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Mammon's you watch in satisfaction as Inazuma burns in a dazzling mix of pink, green, and blue fire.

Beel and Belphie later gift you some snacks and blankets they stole from local establishments. The dango was wonderful. A more than mildly deranged Satan gives you Ei's head. To everyone else's surprise you thank him enthusiastically. You'll have Beel chew off the meat on the way to Liyue, then add it to your bone collection back home.

Satan's form is from here, it is not my making

Sorry in advance for how I handle the brothers, I don't know alot about genshin characters so I had trouble finding a way to give every brother a little bit of action each.

[jeromesblackie]

Sub Oswald Cobblestone x reader smut

(First off this is kinda my first smut so please leave suggestions.)

TW: SMUT lol,

Characters Mentioned: Oswald Cobblepot, Gender Neutral Reader, Edward Nygma, Lee Thompkins, Mentions of two unnamed chefs

Ed and Lee are just friends in this

Oswald is very caring <3 (And a twink)

Fish is reader's adoptive mother (Before Oswald)

Sub!Oswald x Dom?Reader

Oswald x G/N Reader

2nd POV:

You were Oswald’s lover, he admired you very much. You two met back when Fish Mooney was revealed to be resurrected, you were Fish’s adopted child. Y/N L/N-Mooney, She loved you like you were her biological child, she’d do anything to protect you. It’s been a while since then, Oswald helped you mourn her death. Of course, you knew about their past but that was over and done with according to the both of them. The more time he spent helping you mourn over your mother, the more he fell in love with you. He had already gotten over Ed by then, all he wanted was you. Of course, knowing Ed since grade school, you helped them make up. The two being best friends enlightened you, you loved how Oswald and your best friend finally got along.

Ed of course lived with you two, helping to take care of the house while you two were gone. It was a particular Saturday, Ed was doing his own thing while Oswald dragged you to the bed. He was excited to finally be home to enjoy the other few hours he was going to spend with you. “Please Y/N! I need you right now.” “Okay Oswald maybe try to slow down for me, I know I know.” You gave him directions to take off his clothes if he wanted to so badly.

You took off any jewelry and put them on the bathroom counter, you went towards the bed and started removing your clothes. You had gotten to the huge bed and used his favorite ties and restrained his wrists to the bed frame. You prepared him with lube and started to kiss down his neck. “No teasing.” He whispered out, “Fine.” You slid yourself down to his hips, he was an average size, not too big, not too small. You slowly slid yourself onto him which caused him to let out a little whimper. He was so desperate for you, you whispered such sweet words in his ear, praising him. After you adjusted a little you started going slow, he liked taking his time, it was what made you two imitate.

“Faster please Y/N” You listened, of course, you loved him. You did tease him from time to time, in reality, you didn’t need to adjust to his size at all, you’ve already done this many times with him before. He lasted a good hour, every time he asked you to go faster you did. The pace was pretty fast, you loved every second of it. He was moaning out your name every few minutes, especially when you teased him. He told you he was about to cum, “Can you go for a little longer Y/N? I’m getting ready to-” You interrupted him by shushing him, “It’s okay Oswald, I’m already tired.” You slid off of him and laid beside him as you began to untie his hands. He started touching himself and finally made a mess on the sheets.

He laid down exhausted, he turned his eyes towards you. “Bubble Bath?” He asked you, “I would never turn one down, I like the Herbivore Botanical Bath salts, it's under my sink. Shall we have wine?” “Now, that's something I’d never turn down, should I get one of the maids to deliver it to the door?” “That's okay Oswald, I’ll get it myself.” You put on your shirt and something to cover the bottom half of yourself and quickly walked into the kitchen.

Ed was already in the kitchen with Lee, “Have fun?” Ed asked. “What are you talking about?” “Don’t act innocent, we heard you two,” Lee smirked while drinking a glass of vodka. “Well, I need the red wine.” “What? Have another one of your aftercare bubble baths with your precious Pengy?” Ed chuckled, you gave him a death stare. “I’m sorry! Go have fun with hubby.” You quickly walked back upstairs and got in the bath with the two glasses and the wine bottle. “I’ll order takeout, Hibachi specifically.” “Y/N/N, we already have two chefs.” “Dear, it’s their four-hour break, I’m already ordering takeout.” You laid beside him in the giant tub as the warm water had the two of you relaxed.

[lethalchiralium]

don’t let me go | Rafe Adler x GN!Reader

a/n: twink boy, my beloved 🤍

warnings: idk its late, i’ll check later

summary: rafe’s had a rough week and had a realization.

It wasn’t too late when Rafe opened the front door, waltzing into the large home with dimmed lights and kicking off his dress shoes. His suit jacket now hung in the coat closet and he began to untie his midnight black tie.

“My love,” He called, moving into the living room only to see you, standing in the middle of the room with one of his old college sweatshirts on and a pair of pants. Curiosity tugged on his hand as he moved to the kitchen, setting down his tie and then quietly walking towards you.

“If we shall dance, we shall dance for the night,” The lovely voice you sang with always gave him goosebumps. A couple steps forwards and he grew closer. “I wish for love, but sweet love takes her time.”

You had earbuds in, eyes closed but they quickly opened when Rafe gently grabbed the hand that was settled on your hip. He tugged you towards him, moving his other hand to your hip and placing your hand on his chest. Your free hand pulled out an earbud and a sweet smile appeared on your face.

“Hi.” You spoke and he grinned.

“I love when you sing.” His now free hand settled on your cheek. “I love when you’re here.”

Your cheeks heated up. “Rafe, you are never like this, have you been drinking?”

He pushed down the snippy comment he usually would’ve answered with, but today, he genuinely missed you. It has been a long time since he has, not since the wedding years and years ago. The failing marriage was the one thing on his mind today, yesterday, and the day before that. He didn’t want to lose you, not again. “I’m sorry.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, now something’s actually wrong with you.”

He shook his head and placed a kiss to your forehead and rested his cheek there. “I missed your singing today.” He spoke quietly, his hand squeezed your hip. “I missed you.”

“Rafe,” You answered, unsure how to proceed without the usual fight.

If Rafe could apologize to you for everything he has done, the fighting, the nights alone in separate beds, the distant touches, the only ever loving each other when it’s 2 AM and the fight wasn’t that bad that day, he would. If he did, the world would be a better place, but he was never taught how to apologize. He was only taught how to make everything about him, but God, did he miss the blissful years where he was devoted to you and the happiness he felt was pure.

He figured you deserved some good memories of him before he fucks up his life again.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“For what?” That voice, the one thing that he couldn’t get more of, no matter how much distance he forced himself to put between the both of you.

“For not loving you how I should.” He kissed your forehead again. “You know I’d give you my last breath.”

“I know.”

“You’re the love of my life, I’ve never had better, and I’ll love you through all the bad weather.”

Your arms wrapped around his neck. It was nice to have your husband be loving, but you knew Rafe. He felt guilty because he felt he didn’t love you enough, but that simply wasn’t true.

“Every night you sleep next to me helps me when you’re gone, and every day I get a kiss from you, I live a little longer and get to love you longer too.” You answered and he chuckled, moving his face to give you a kiss. It was short but it still made you smile. Looking into his eyes, you whispered, “Don’t let me go.”

“Never.”

———

Copyright © 2021 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[jaskierswolf]

A prompt if it inspires you! Sex negative touch starved Lambert? Could be with Aiden, or him getting his fill of touch at Kaer Morhen ❤️

Kitten and the Wolf

Pairing: Lambden Rating: T CWs: Alcohol, mentions of sex, hurt/comfort

_

Lambert had been dating Aiden on and off for a few years when he finally agreed to invite the cat back to Kaer Morhen. He’d put it off longer than he should have, claiming that the history between the two schools was too much, that Vesemir would never allow it. But really their on and off dating had been more on than off recently, and Lambert knew that Aiden was starting to want more from him than he could give.

He’d travelled with Aiden before stupid feelings had come into play. The cat witcher was a flirt and he had a long string of lovers, often not even bothering with the brothels in the towns they visited. According to Lambert’s pack, that was rare. Most people wouldn’t go near a witcher unless they were paid, but that had never really been a concern for Lambert, not really.

He was lonely, and he ached for something that he couldn’t describe, but he didn’t want sex. Lambert knew that much. He’d nearly tried it once because Eskel and Geralt always seemed to love it so much, and he thought it might settle whatever it was that he was always reaching for… but well. It hadn’t gone so well. As soon as the whore had touched below his chest he’d completely recoiled, and it was only their quick thinking that had meant Lambert hadn’t completely wasted his coin. They’d spent the evening cuddling and talking, no more sex.

Whenever Lambert was back in that town he’d make sure to visit them, but that was it. He didn’t trust anyone else.

Not even Aiden.

It was the source of their arguments, their break ups. If Lambert barely touched Aiden at all then it wouldn’t lead to sex and he wouldn’t have to know that Lambert was broken, but Aiden read the distance between them wrong. He thought that Lambert didn’t care.

Which… fuck. That was, well it was the complete opposite of the truth. In reality, Lambert cared too fucking much. He loved Aiden more than he’d loved anyone before. It drove him mad. He’d been just fine before the feelings had arrived.

So he’d swallowed his fucking pride and invited Aiden home.

But three months of probably sharing a bed… well… Aiden would expect things. He’d find out Lambert’s dirty little secret.

And Lambert’s world would fall apart.

“Wolf? Are you okay in there?” Aiden asked, his fingers brushing Lambert’s temple, and it took all of Lambert’s self control not to lean into the touch.

“Fine,” he gritted out. “Just… fine.”

“Well, darling, that hardly makes me feel better.” The fingers dropped to Lambert’s wrist, and then Aiden slipped his hand into Lambert’s squeezing gently. “Meet the family and all, I want them to like me.”

Lambert grunted. He didn’t want to lie to Aiden. There was a very good chance the others would despise him without even giving him a chance, and Lambert didn’t know how to respond.

“Shall we do this then?”

The vulnerability in Aiden’s voice startled Lambert. His boyfriend was always so confident, so- so Aiden… that to hear him sounding so small, shocked Lambert. He cursed under his breath, and then cupped Aiden’s cheek, pressing their lips together in a rare chaste kiss. It wasn’t something that Lambert particularly enjoyed but Aiden did, and it wasn’t uncomfortable enough to avoid so they kissed, sometimes, never for long.

“I love you, kitten,” Lambert murmured, pressing their foreheads together.

Aiden let out a breathy laugh, his arms wrapping around Lambert’s shoulders in a hug. “I love you too, wolf.”

“I’ll protect you.”

“I can protect myself.”

“Bastard, let me love you.”

Aiden opened his mouth to retort but because he could they were interrupted by a snowball thwacking the back of Lambert’s head.

“Oi!”

“Come on in, witchers!” a brightly coloured twink waved from the crumbling battlements. “Or you’ll be late for dinner!”

“Who the fuck…”

“Dinner first, the questions, darling. I’m starving!” Aiden beamed and grabbed Lambert’s hand, pulling him through the heavy gates.

_

To everyone’s surprise, Aiden had won over the wolves of Kaer Morhen, possibly due to the bard that Geralt had brought with him. Only Vesemir still seemed wary, but he’d allowed the cat to stay. Dinner had been hearty and warm, and the company had been pleasant, if not a little loud. The drinks flowed freely, and there was music in the air. Everyone had ended up a little more than drunk and sleepy from the hard day’s work. Vesemir was snoring loudly, his book resting on his stomach, a pair of glasses perched on his nose. The bard, Eskel and Geralt were on the furs in front of the hearth, just like Lambert would usually be.

But…

What if Aiden took it badly? After so many years of avoiding most physical contact, it would only make sense for Aiden to

So he just stared longingly at the pile, Jaskier wittering on about how he was in heaven, the two wolves on top of him purring happily. Aiden was leaning into his side, drunkenly singing and occasionally leaving slopping kisses on Lambert’s cheek.

“You want to join them,” he slurred, one hand resting on Lambert’s chest. “Why-” he hiccuped. “Why them?”

“I-” Lambert stammered, growling as his own head spun a little from the White Gull. “There’s- fuck!”

“Lamby, wolf, darling,” Aiden purred, nuzzling into Lambert’s chest. “I love you, sweetheart.”

Drunken fool.

“S’no pressure. Sex and shit. They’re my friends,” Lambert muttered as quietly as possible. “My family.”

“You don’t want sex?”

“No.”

“Okay, Can I still fuck others or…”

“Yeah,” Lambert cut him off. The idea of tying his lover down, taking away something he loved… that was unthinkable. He’d been jealous, sure, but only because he couldn’t be everything Aiden needed.

“Don’t have to… I have hands,” Aiden hummed, giggling to himself.

“Babe, we’re drunk as skunks,” Lambert moaned, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the spinning.

“Hmm, fine, join the others? Talk tomorrow.”

Lambert expected his boyfriend to shove him to the floor, but instead Aiden stumbled to his feet, fingers wrapped around Lambert’s wrist, and pulled him along to the cuddle pile by the fire.

“Room for two more?” Aiden asked, cocking his head in a way that was probably meant to be sexy but he tripped over the corner of the fur and almost fell into the pile of men at their feet.

“Oh fuck yes!” Jaskier cried, not waiting for the two witchers to respond, and the pair were dragged into the pile by the excitable bard.

It was a mess, and with their drink-addled minds, it took awhile to shift around enough so everyone was comfortable, but that itch that had been bothering Lambert melted away. He sighed with a hidden smile as he buried his face into Aiden’s neck. Jaskier was plastered to his back and Eskel was draped over the pair of them with Geralt.

It shouldn’t have worked, like most things in Lambert’s dreary life… but for that moment - everything was perfect.

-

Tag list: @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde, @comfyswitcherblanketfort, @fontegagrilledcheese, @dani-dandelino, @dapandapod @damnbert @officerjennie @feraljaskier @geralt-of-riviass @kueble @gilberik @llamasdumpsterfire @wherethewordsare @trickstermoose67 @contemplativepancakes, @marvagon, @slythnerd

[unexpected-readings-of-poetry]

Hey you know that one ship from The Untamed where there's three men, one of them is a bastardous murder twink with a smile that conveys evil intent, one of them is colour coded with white, comes from a mountain and has a benevolent smile, and one of them is colour coded with dark robes, has a notable scowl and later becomes a fierce corpse, unable to prevent himself from attacking those he loves? You know the one? The black and white coded ones have known each other for longer, but after a conflict in Qinghe, the white-coded one started hanging out with the murder twink instead. Shall I clarify some more? The murder twink was the one who actually orchestrated the death of the dark-coded one, after playing some sadistic mental torture on him, and the knowledge of this ended up driving the white-coded one to fatally drastic measures. Does that narrow it down at all? No?