#a;a

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 25

It was all too easy to fall into the seemingly unending truce. The permanent truce. 

Klaus had decided to sell their own bed – the memories attached to Silas’s were too invaluable for them to part with. 

They still fought, of course – but smilingly, laughing through their antics and banter. It was fun. And it always escalated to physical altercations. Of the adult variety. 

Like venturing to a food truck on a late, drunken night, and ending up getting in their own personal food fight. Silas asking the cashier for napkins and extra water, face smeared with ketchup and fries. Cleaning each other off, giggling and calling each other names and quickly following up with “I love you.” Realizing that napkins and water wouldn’t cut it and heading home to wash up in the shower together. Washing each other off, sweetness escalating to something more along the lines of spicy and then having to clean up all over again.

Klaus had never been so happy in their life. 

They did, of course, still struggle to fully accept that they did deserve it – the happiness, the love, the goodness – all of it. By the time it showed, Silas was quick to remind them in numerous ways that they were perfect to him. Klaus had to admit, they liked his teaching methods. 

“Who’s the only one who can get you right?” 

No matter how many times they heard the words, they had the same effect. Like an anchor dropping through their body from head to toe, grounding them. 

“You.” They spoke quietly, feeling their cheeks burn between the cradle of his hands. He hummed a sweet affirmative, pressing a kiss to their forehead. 

“That’s right. And you’re perfect.” They felt their cheeks burn hotter. It never failed. He pressed chaste kisses down their cheek to their mouth. “You’re beautiful. Gorgeous.” Another kiss, softer but deeper as his hands combed through their hair. “You’re so clever. Way too smart for your own good. And everyone else’s. You could easily rule the world,” he grinned against their lips. “Literally the smartest, most cunning, most insightful person I’ve ever met. That was one of the first things that drew me in. You think of things most could never even dream of.” His mouth trailed down their neck, and their mind started growing fuzzy. “Your emotional capacity is unparalleled. Given that, the extent of your self-control is unfathomable.” He nipped at their skin and did something that would surely leave a mark. 

They began to melt with a sigh. 

“Between that and your wit, you can wield yourself like a weapon of mass destruction. Once you did, because you’re powerful. The world deserved to be informed and reminded. You deserve to have people bow to you.” Another grazing of teeth. “In another life, you were exalted royalty. No doubt in my mind.” His hands wandered down, leaning them into the bed. “To me, you still are.” He did something sinful with his fingers, drawing a little whimper from them. 

“So cheesy…” they couldn’t help their grin. “Is that why you call me princess?” They teased. 

“Kind of, actually. You always reminded me of royalty. It’s a shame how long it took me to appreciate that.” His hands snuck beneath their shirt, pulling it up and off. “I should have just done what you said that day,” he grinned against their skin, “and gotten on my knees for you. Maybe it would’ve hit me sooner.” 

He felt a shiver run through them. 

“Mm, you like me on my knees, don’t you?” 

“Mhm, very much,” they smiled hazily. 

“See, just like royalty.” He grinned cheekily. “I have an idea.” 

“Oh no.” They both chuckled, and then Silas stood and grasped their ankles. With a decent tug, he pulled them to the edge of the bed, and knelt between their legs. “How’s this?” he whispered, hands resting on their thighs. 

“Beautiful.” 

[msk-rph-blog]

what is your opinion on urban twitter rps ??

Urban twitter rp’s are not really my fortay. Mostly because this is where I started and I have the most comfort at. However those are a lot more active than those on tumblr and the dashes move a little too fast for me. Especially because I am working most of the week I can’t really keep up over time. 

[lusineinthesky]

☁ , ☃ , ☺ , & ❀ .

Meme: Questions for the Mun! 

☁ What’s an FC that you refuse to play with? Why?

There aren’t any particular face claims that I refuse to interact with. As long as the muses make sense to encounter one another, I’ll interact with anyone!

☃ If your muse was cartoonized, what would their FC be? Why?

Omggggg. That’s really hard. Maybe Euphemia from Code Geass.

☺ What’s a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why?  

Other alien muses so she can actually talk about home and not be worried about sounding crazy. Also, characters involved in the medical field would be fun because she’s bound to get sick sooner or later. It’d be super awks since she’s suspicious of doctors and their ability to easily determine that she’s inhuman, but there’s potential for trust-building and character development there.

❀ Do you like reblog karma? Why or why not?

I do, haha! I’ll admit that I’m not always the best about reblog karma because things aren’t always applicable to send to the original poster, but I still want to reblog them and see what I can get. If it makes sense/isn’t super random I totally am all for reblog karma!

[xehunted]

*hugs* ❤️❤️❤️ pass this on to 10 of your favorite followers! don't break the chain. if you break the chain ~ nothing will happen, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're amazing inside and out ♡

I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE, you added hearteus just for meeeeee!!! *^*

thank you so much bb, you are always so preciousssssssss ♥♥♥

someday i will stalk you and talk to you until you are tired of me HAHAHAHHA yep

[lovingrpc]

Good Evening Loves! We hope you all had a very productive day and you accomplished all the goals you set out for yourselves. Don’t forget to send love at any time..Love Makes Everyone Smile.

[taen-indomitus-blog]

Do you get along with anyone in Vitiosus?

"Do I get along with anyone in vitiosus, hm," She sighs as a stiff smile appear on her face, “Considering the only person I know for sure is from there is that ass who keeps annoying me every time we meet, I’d say no?" 

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 24

It had already been difficult before the last time. 

The truces were heaven as they were happening, and hell in the following days. Having to pretend each time afterwards that they were fine – that they didn’t just want to go back, that they didn’t mind having to hide, that they didn’t mind that they weren’t allowed to love him or want him to love them.

But then… he came home that night, singing their song as if he were theirs. And god, it was so, so good. It had driven them past the point of tolerance. 

They felt as if they were truly going mad. They struggled to focus on anything else. They were certain their mind was slipping through their fingers like grains of sand. None of it made sense, they couldn’t understand it, and it was tearing them apart because they desperately wanted it to make sense. They needed it to make sense. 

In the way that a fire is wonderfully warm when it’s dreadfully cold out, the closer they got, the more it burned. 

Sleeping in separate beds had become less and less common. It wasn’t even a post-truce thing anymore, either. They’d fall asleep talking on the other’s bed, or simply… exist side by side, in the other’s bed, until suddenly they awoke and it was morning, limbs entangled. 

They were ensnared by two extremes: empty cold and burning life. 

They couldn’t take it anymore. 

They couldn’t keep doing it.

It wasn’t fair. They had accepted that, and felt that in some way, unfair was fair for them. They deserved this; to suffer in such a way.

Their mother may have been a horrendous woman, but she was��� right. How could anyone love them? It was true, there was something fundamentally broken in them. They could feel it. There may have once been something soft in them, but they had killed that part of themself long ago. And its rotting corpse was all that was left of them. 

They were a monster. They knew the old adage, “What’s a monster when it’s loved? No longer a monster.” But they didn’t believe that; even if a monster was to be loved, that just made it a beloved monster. However, no one actually loved monsters in real life. They may be infatuated, obsessed, attracted – but never truly loved. 

Who could love such a thing? 

It was more than enough that he made them feel wanted, and that he seemed to actually want them, in some way – even if it was only their body and whatever entertainment they could offer him. It was more than anyone had ever wanted after seeing even a glimpse of their truth. But he had seen all of it – all of them.

That may have been the worst part. He could somehow stomach the foul taste of that rotten, dead, cold former softness. And he seemed to not only stomach it, but like it. They couldn’t even begin to wrap their head around such a thing. He was supposed to turn away, like everyone else. 

It was such a cruel joke of fate. 

Even worse, in doing so, it really did feel as if some of that softness had come back to life. It hurt, and terribly. It was easier when no one could reach them, when there was nothing to feel – no one could get close enough to hurt them. No one could get close enough to love them either. When the part of themself that needed and wanted that was a corpse, empty and vacuous, it hadn’t mattered. But it was as if he had sowed some beautiful, awful seeds in that rotting corpse, and some new life had begun to fester there. He had cleaved at their rot, planted seeds, and after so long they had suddenly awoken and that space was no longer cold and vacuous. 

They felt soft and alive and it was becoming unbearably painful. 

It was like dangling a piece of food in front of someone who was starving to death. They could touch it, taste it even, but never truly have it. 

Huddled in their bed, curled up in silence, they resolved to what they knew they must do. 

They had to end this. 

The warmth and the fun and the feeling of being alive had been beautiful and everything they thought they’d ever truly wanted, but their ability to withstand the weight of it all was rapidly reaching its breaking point. 

It was time to throw themself back out into the cold. They had to. That was where they belonged, after all. 

They weren’t sure how long they’d been curled up spiraling into their doom and gloom, when their phone buzzed. 

Silas: “Hey, what are you up to tonight? I got you something.” 

Klaus stared at their phone. What an odd question. Especially paired with such a statement. Were these two supposed to be related? Their mind wondered all the ways that could be so. 

Klaus: “…why?” 

Silas: “It’s a surprise (:” 

Klaus: “I’m scheduled to descend into madness tonight. Sorry.” 

Silas: “lol. I’m sure you are. Could you possibly reschedule? I know you’ve got a busy schedule, but…” 

Klaus narrowed their eyes at their phone. What was that damned man up to now? 

Klaus: “I’ll consider it. No promises.” 

Silas: “yessssss ok I’ll be home in a bit. See you then.” 

A tiny smile curled the corner of their lips; there was something so sweetly endearing about that statement. But their former resolution had reminded them they weren’t allowed such a thing, and that warmth quickly receded. 

Of course, he had to make this so much more difficult than it had to be. 

They turned their bedside lamp on as the sky dimmed, keeping their nose in a book. They couldn’t focus on it, but it seemed to be better than merely wallowing. 

There was a knock on their door. 

Well, that’s a first. 

They patted their face dry, inhaling deeply to brace themself.

“Come in.” They sat up, dread creeping up their spine. They didn’t want to do it. But they had to, they knew they must, they told themself. 

“Hey – oh, what’s wrong?” His face fell and whatever was in his hand was quickly hidden behind his back. 

“I… need to talk to you.” 

They could see the panic wash through him. 

He blinked, stepping into the room and sitting at the foot of the bed, their farthest hand hanging a bit over the side, continuing to hide whatever he held. 

“Oh - ok,” his brow furrowed.

“I… want to forfeit. I – I am forfeiting. The game.” 

Silas smiled, tension visibly rolling from his body. 

“Me too. That was actually, um, part of the surprise.”

Klaus narrowed their eyes. Why… was that a good thing? Part of the surprise?

“… What?” They looked at him like he was insane. “Wait, what do you have behind your back?” What the hell was going on? They felt like they’d suddenly been submerged into some nonsensical entropy.

He revealed a single rose, thorns still intact. 

They felt something budge in their chest, warm and terrifying. Their jaw dropped.

“Wh… what’s that… for…”

They trailed off as he pressed it into their hands. They stared at it in their hands, eyes wide and swimming with hundreds of emotions. 

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to forfeit the game with me. Maybe sell one of our beds and use the spare room as an office again. And I don’t know, let me take you on a date or something. And tell you that I don’t hate you and haven’t for an embarrassingly long time, now. And that I… love you. A lot. Happy Valentine’s Day.” He smiled, something between sheepish and madly in love. 

They hadn’t even realized what day it was. 

They were speechless. 

They felt like they were dreaming. 

Like their world had suddenly been turned upside down on its head. 

None of it made any sense. 

Whatever it was in their chest that had budged, warm and terrifying, flooded their entire self. They felt tears prick at their eyes as they stared at the flower in their hands, and then back up at him. 

“But… I don’t… I don’t understand?” 

He gave them a bemused look. 

“What do you mean? I love you. I don’t want to play this game anymore. I just… want you. Us. Our life. Together.” 

“But – I – I don’t deserve this.” 

“What?” He looked at them like they were insane. 

“You know better than anyone why that’s true. I-I’m a terrible person.” 

“Firstly, no, you aren’t. You do things a little… differently, but you are not a terrible person. If you were a terrible person, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you, I wouldn’t have asked you to live with me, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now asking you to forfeit this now pointless game. If you were a terrible person, we wouldn’t be here right now.” 

He sidled up to them, resting a hand on their knee. 

“Secondly, I know better than anyone why that’s not true. You’ve been through enough. We should just… be happy with what we have.” 

He made a compelling argument. They had been through a lot. They’d been through a lot, and they were tired. 

“I just…” Their words sounded choked. They squeezed their eyes shut for a moment. “It’s not fair – I – don’t know how to explain,” they stumbled ungracefully over their words uncharacteristically, seeming exasperated and desperate. “I belong alone in the cold. You deserve better. And I deserve the pain of having to pretend it’s ok that I’m not allowed to love you. That I’m fine without you here in my bed. I used to hate you for that, but... then one day, I don’t know. I just woke up and – I just… love you. But I’m a monster. I don’t understand how you could possibly love me. All the things I’ve done to you, said to you… I’ve been awful to you. It took me so long to realize I even love you because I couldn’t even remember what that felt like. Not even my mother can stomach me. I don’t get happy endings. I get suffering, alone in the dark and the cold. I know I deserve it, but I just can’t take it anymore. That’s what I meant when I said I was forfeiting.”

“No.” 

“No?”

“Absolutely not.” 

“Silas…” They sighed, they way a parent might speak to a child unable to grasp issues beyond their reach. 

Silas’s arm curled around their shoulders, and the other hand cupped their cheek, and they felt his lips press a soft kiss to the top of their head. 

“Klaus.” He spoke softly. 

They shook their head. 

It was enough that they were admitting all this. Having to look at him would be unimaginable. 

“Look at me.” 

They shook their head again. 

“I do love you.” 

Klaus let out a shaky breath, stilling somewhat. He held their chin.

“Please look at me, Klaus.” Finally, they did. 

He’d never seen such a look on them. He hated it. 

“I love you, Klaus.” 

They didn’t know what to say. How? Why? Their first instinct was to accuse him of lying. 

“I don’t… why?” 

“Why?” He looked at them like they were ridiculous, and that it broke his heart. “I told you. You’re perfect to me.” 

For a moment, something beautiful and exuberant washed over their face, before being replaced with confusion. A new wave of tears stung their eyes and a sob broke through. They wanted so badly to think that every time he’d said they were perfect to him, he was saying he loved them. 

“But...” Their eyes searched his face intently. “How? I’m not even… I’m not even a good person. I’ve put you through fucking hell. I don’t deserve you. You’re far too good for me.” They breathed out, staring down at their hands wrapped in his. “My mother was right; I’m unlovable. I’m fundamentally broken. Not even she could love me.” 

“Klaus,” his hand went back to their face, suddenly sober and serious. “Come on, look at me.” His voice was too soft and sweet. 

Apprehensive, sheepish eyes met his. 

“Your mother doesn’t know a god damned thing. She doesn’t understand you. She’s got you all wrong. So wrong. You are so, so loveable. You’re worth it. You’re worth everything we’ve put each other through. I’d do it again and again if it meant never leaving you. Listen to me.” 

They let out a little sob. He had never sounded so… stern. He really was too good for them. Why couldn’t he see that? 

“Klaus. Who’s the only one who gets you right?” 

They felt something abruptly shift within them. Like an anchor dropping though their body; from head to toe.

“… You.” They hated how pathetic they sounded. Pathetic and sweet and hopeless. 

He nodded, giving them an earnest, desperately loving look as he pressed his forehead to theirs.

“Me. And you’re perfect. I love you.” 

They let out another sob, but a sad smile tugged at their lips. 

“You know,” they breathed shakily, “I keep thinking: you were supposed to turn away. I tried very hard to make you. I gave you piece after piece of myself, rotten as I am. It didn’t work so I gave you pieces of my heart, because no one has ever been able to stomach it. But you took a bite, and then another, and then another, and you said it was perfect. You were supposed to turn away. And for so long, I hated you for that. I hated you and I adored you and it all made me feel so sick and angry, I really thought I was going insane. 

“That night… the night you said that – that I was perfect. You said you were going to break me. Ruin me. And you said I was going to love it. That I would want it. And I never told you this, but I think it’s only right that you should know. You were right. About all of it. You were always right. And it drove me crazy. I loved it, and I hated that I loved it. I hated myself for loving you, I hated you for making me feel loved – because I had never felt so loved or wanted or understood outside of that night. 

“Which… I know is sad. But that’s the kind of person I am. That’s how I’ve lived. I stopped talking to you because after that night – and I swear if you ever repeat this, I’ll hurt you. But… you broke me, but you fixed me. Like some broken bone that healed wrong, being rebroken and shoved back into place. I thought I’d killed that part of myself. That’s why I threatened to kill you if you ever regretted it. I needed you to mean it. And one day I woke up and I was soft again. It hurts like hell. And it just kept getting worse. And… I guess now we’re here.” 

They knew they should have stopped already, but the words seemed to just fall from their lips, pushed out like the purge of a corpse. 

He smiled, combing careful a hand through their hair. 

“You’re an idiot for that, you know.” Their voice came out broken and small. 

“Then so be it. It’s worth it.” He kissed them, and they let out a sound between a laugh and a sob. 

“I love you,” they whispered against his lips. 

“I love you too,” he whispered back. 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t. I can’t help it and even if I could, I would still love you.” 

“Shut up,” they croaked and started crying. Where did he get off on being so fucking sweet?

“Never. You’ll have to make me,” he grinned, kissing them harder. 

[msk-rph-blog]

are you opening any more rp's. I love your plots and activities!

Sadly love, I will not. There is a lot to putting into making the rpg’s and frankly too much drama between other “competing” rp’s, even though they’re supposed to work together, that I wouldn’t care to get into anymore. That’s why i’m back here. To help you all develop your muses and be the best and most active in the rpg’s that are already out there. But I really do appreciate the comment love, It touched my heart. 

[lusineinthesky]

♦

Meme: Questions for the Mun!

♦ What’s an AU that you’ve always wanted?

Already answered here!

[xehunted]

*hugs* pass this on to 10 of your favorite followers! don't break the chain. if you break the chain ~ nothing will happen, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're amazing inside and out ♡

thank you so much my beautiful Mimi!!!!!!!!! 

ily ♥♥♥

[lovingrpc]

You guys the sad thing about all these great plots you all are putting out there is that.......I can’t join all of them!! I love Glee, Percy Jackson, those supernatural plots are amazing ...and anything Marvel?!?! You guys have gotten me stuck and I’m proud of every last one of these rpgs that are starting. I hope you all become very successful in the rpc.

[zadeyas]

trololol i changed my icon again a;a

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 23

(cw: nsfw. sectioned off with asterisks for those who prefer not to read)

He’d gone out without them, that night – they’d declined his invitation. They needed… alone time. Time to distract themself. 

He later texted them saying he was staying out and had not been murdered. They smiled to themself, knowing that he’d said it that way because that’s what he always thought when Klaus went MIA. 

They mentally swatted away the multitude of feelings that soon followed. 

He was an adult and could make his own decisions. It wasn’t right or fair for them to be jealous, sad, or upset. He was his own person. He wasn’t theirs in any way, shape, or form - a fact that on its own hurt them, but was objectively true, nonetheless. Plus, he was great in bed. They supposed it would be unfair for him not to share such a gift. 

They sighed, telling themself not to pout. 

After all, they had chosen to stay home specifically to be alone and not with him. 

They opted to focus on themself, running a rich bath with wine and a joint. They had chosen to dedicate the evening to themself, and were determined to keep it that way. 

But it was impossible to keep their mind from it. They thought that must have been how he felt whenever they would touch people in front of him. Though, they felt surely it must be worse – he wasn’t doing it for them but rather himself, which was fine. But much less fun. 

They told themself they were being selfish. 

They sunk into the bath, exhaling a sigh, blowing bubbles through the fragrant water. 

Their hand trailed over their chest, feeling the heart-shaped scar he’d left on them.

It was impossible to keep their mind from… well, it. Him. His hands, the way he touched them. The heavenly state it induced. It was always like that – it was like pandora’s box. Once opened, no matter how hard they tried to close it, the thoughts and feelings trickled out until they were inevitably overwhelmed. 

They took a deep pull from the joint. Maybe if they got stoned enough, they wouldn’t care. They ignored the little voice in the back of their head that told them how easily being high and having lascivious thoughts could backfire. 

They would be using this precious alone time wisely. They swore. 

They finished the joint quickly, and then their glass of wine, and laid there in the bath determined to keep their hands off themself until the bathwater went cool. 

They did not. 

It hadn’t helped that his hoodie was still on their bed from earlier. 

It did help that they were too stoned to care. Not about the things they’d been trying not to care about, but rather regarding the slip of their will. 

They sighed. They should have just done it the first time it came to mind. They’d been all nice and clean and then – well, they might as well just have taken a shower. They may as well have just poured their fancy bath salts and oils into the garbage, since they were about to just go and wash them off. 

It was then they heard movement – the front door. The sound of keys dropping on the table and Silas shuffling into the bathroom. The sound of the shower starting. 

Ah, well… wasn’t that just something. 

They looked down at themself, wondering if they might be able to sneak past him and just use a washcloth. 

Maybe, if he didn’t see their front. They were… a bit of a mess. 

They decided to wait long enough for the mirror to fog. 

Though… what was the worst that could happen? Ah, right; he could put two and two together and mock them. And the best that could happen? Well… it didn’t seem too unlikely. It seemed remarkably likely that he would take pleasure in such a thing – even if he did still mock them. And then, if he did, they could always just – they had to stop thinking about it. 

He had just gotten home from a date, after all. With someone else.

They didn’t believe in god, but nonetheless thanked God above when they made it past him without him pulling the curtain back before they could turn their back. 

“You’re home early,” they noted lightly as they faced the steam-covered mirror and wiped themself off. 

“Yeah…” he groaned, sounding miserable. 

“That bad, huh?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed. He sounded defeated. 

“Poor thing,” they mused softly, teasing. “Wanna talk about it?” 

He let out a short, humorless laugh and then was quiet for a moment. 

“I… uh. Well,” he sighed. “Got kicked out.” 

They blinked, surprised. 

“Of the bar?” 

“No, someone’s house.” 

“Oh. What on earth did you do?” This had to be good, they thought. 

He groaned, sounding tortured. 

“We were, uh… you know. And I said someone else’s name.” 

It felt like they’d had the wind knocked out of them for a moment. Several different emotions of varying high intensities flashed through them. 

Washcloth still in hand, they were there in an instant and quickly opened the curtain, fixing him with a hell of a look. He was laying down in the shower. They loomed over him, eyes drilling holes in his face, even through the haze of their high.

“Who’s name?” If it wasn’t theirs – after everything – they thought they might either actually kill him or have some kind of mental break. Or both.

He was quiet for a few moments, face red and pathetic looking. 

“Yours.” 

Relief rolled off them in waves and they released a breath they hadn’t realized they’d been holding. Relief was quickly replaced by lust and excitement. They smirked. 

“Did they look like me?” 

He let out a humorless laugh, rubbing his face and shook his head at himself. 

“Yeah.” 

They sighed, clearly pleased, and sat on the ledge of the tub. 

“Tell me what happened.” Their voice was both soft and sharp – gentle and commanding. The voice that made him want to blindly follow their orders, and that could command armies. 

“Well… I saw them at the bar and for a moment I actually thought they were you – from behind, yknow. Obviously, it wasn’t, but… they were really like… really into me I guess, touchy feely and stuff and I thought, yknow, it’s just harmless fun, what’s the worst that could happen?” He laughed humorlessly, which turned into a groan as he rubbed his face again. “And so, one thing leads to another. I’m in his apartment, in his bed, going at it from behind,” 

“Because he looked like me from behind?” They cut him off. 

“Yeah…” he sounded tired and embarrassed. They smiled. 

“Keep going.” 

“Um, so, yeah, we were going at it. And I guess… my mind wandered.” There was something almost unreadable in his eyes. Something akin to deep yearning with a hint of shame. “I was about to come and – it slipped out. He literally just stopped me and was like ‘who the fuck is Klaus?’” He laughed, that time with a hint of humor. Klaus bit their lip excitedly. “And I was just like, ah… fuck. I didn’t even know what to do. I’ve never done that kind of thing before. I tried to apologize but he just got pissed and kicked me out.” 

They watched him in his shame, smiling down at him softly. 

“Hmm,” they hummed sweetly. “I’m sorry.” 

He scoffed. 

“No you are not. You’re loving this.” He shot them the best smirk he could. 

*

“Mm, yeah, I am.” They trailed their fingers through his hair, behind his ear, up his jaw until cradling his chin, making him look at them. “Were you coming in here to finish yourself off?” 

“… yeah.” His face lit up red. 

“And why didn’t you lock the door?” 

“I forgot.” They smirked. They could tell he was lying.

“Hm. Are you sure?” 

“… No.” 

They smiled at that. It was admission enough. 

“Do you want me to do it for you?” They whispered. 

“Only if you want to.” He swallowed, voice breathy. 

“I want to hear you say it.” They heard his breath catch, and his eyes closed for a moment. 

“I… want you. I want you to finish me off. I think I want a lot more than that, honestly.” He looked beautifully desperate. 

They smiled with a sweet sigh, thumb moving over his cheek in a chaste motion. He leaned into the touch, his own hand sliding up their thigh. Warmth spread through skin, good enough it felt like glowing. 

“Good boy,” they breathed. They stood, and his hand lingered, eyes watching them like they were going to save him. 

They reveled in it as they removed their only article of clothing, boxers, tossing them aside and slipping into the shower with him. He was already halfway there. 

Settling on their knees between his legs, they leaned down and pulled him into a kiss, deep and claiming and sensual. He moaned into their mouth, hands wandering over their back and into their hair.

God, it felt indescribably good – maybe he was theirs.

Dangerous thoughts. 

“You know… I was thinking about you before you got here.” They whispered into his ear, making him shiver and moan. 

“Y-yeah?” 

“Mhm. I started thinking about you,” a kiss, “how good you are…” another kiss, “and then I got high in the tub. I told myself I’d behave,” they sighed, doing something that would surely leave a mark.

“You never behave,” he murmured sweetly. 

“Mhm, you’re right. And I didn’t. Made a bit of a mess…” they took their cum-covered washcloth and held it thoughtfully for a brief moment, pulling their lip through their teeth as they looked back at him. “If you’d come home even minutes earlier, you would have heard me.” They whispered, and his breath caught, throat bobbing before he failed to fully stifle a whine. 

His gaze drifted from the washcloth to back to them, recognition and hunger in his eyes. They kissed his cheek, holding his mouth open with a finger and placing the dirty cloth in his mouth. He moaned, head rolling back. 

“I truly adore how willing you are to debase yourself for me,” they kissed his neck, grazing their teeth over his skin, making him squirm and shiver again. “I wonder why that is,” they sighed softly before leaving another mark. “Is it because… you’re mine?” 

He whimpered. 

“Are you?” They whispered, rising just enough to meet his gaze. 

He nodded meekly. A wildfire surged through them and they removed the cloth from his mouth, held it open and mingled their tongues, tasting themself on him. 

He lifted them onto his lap, wrapped his arms around them and pulled the two of them flush together. They moaned into each other, sweet and hungry, for each other and no one else. 

God, it felt so good – so right. It was addictive. Feeling him pressed up against them, and them against him, the friction enough to bring them to equal. And knowing how he’d just embarrassed himself the way he had… it did something profoundly sinful to them. 

They kissed down his neck, chest, and stomach – down, down, down. 

“Did you already wash yourself?” 

“Mhm,” he whimpered an affirmative. 

“Good boy,” they whispered before slowly licking his head, making him gasp. They rubbed little circles into his hips as they continued teasing him with their mouth.

“Please, I’ve already,” he hissed as they teased him again, “practically been edging for like an hour now,” he rasped. 

“Poor thing,” they murmured, “Beg for me.” 

“Please, Klaus…” his breathing was already uneven, “I need you. So badly,” he breathed out, desperation wracking his voice. “I’ll be good. I’ll do anything for you. Please, god, I need you.” 

Humming sweetly, they seemed pleased, and kissed a line up his length. Slowly, they ran their tongue in a spiral over his head, taking just his tip into their mouth and sucking, and he groaned, head rolling back too quickly and into the shower wall. He winced, and they let out a light laugh – the sound and sight enough to drive him to utter madness. 

Slowly, they took more and more. He shuddered, mouth going agape, moaning as they took him fully. They hooked one of his legs over their back, cupping him and working at his perinium, aiming to spoil him. 

His hand tangled into their hair tightly, drawing a moan, making his hips jolt into their mouth, making them whimper. 

“Fuck, Klaus, I… god, you’re so good, fuck, I can’t, I’m gonna – don’t stop,” 

His uneven breathing became panting, letting out a long moan. Klaus slid a finger into him and curled it, and he cried out, orgasm abruptly surging through his body. His hips convulsed, riding it out into their mouth. They moaned around and held on to his hips for dear life as he cried their name, lewd and ecstatic. 

His body fell limp and they swallowed before slowly rising off him and crawling over him. They cradled his face in their hands and kissed him, soft and sweet. 

Lazily, he turned the shower off with his foot. 

*

“You’re not leaving my bed tonight,” they whispered against his lips.

“Promise?” 

They smiled.

“Promise.” 

That night they gave him heart-shaped scars to match their own.

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 22

“Hey, Klaus have you – oh.” Silas leaned against their doorframe, shooting them a look and crossing his arms. “Have you seen my hoodie?” He asked, watching them look up from their book, lounged sideways across their bed, wearing his hoodie and a smirk. And boxers. And nothing else. One hand casually fit snugly beneath their thighs.

“Mmm, no. Sorry.” They returned to their book, still smirking. 

“Right. Is that why… should I even ask?” He stepped in, arms still folded. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” They didn’t bother looking up. 

“Cool, well… I guess you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed yours?” 

“It’s too small for you.” They turned the page. 

He hummed amusedly, picking up their hoodie from the back of their desk chair and pulling it on. It… was a bit too small. They chanced a glance, then had to bite back their natural response. 

He wasn’t especially tall or muscular – definitely not the latter. They were simply smaller than he was. Nonetheless, the way the fabric hugged his chest and arms… was quite nice. They quickly returned their eyes to their book. 

“What?” He asked innocently, grinning. They shook their head. 

“You look ridiculous.”

“Aw, I thought it might be kind of cute. Hurts my feelings a little bit.” His grin disagreed. 

“Good.” 

He scoffed, and they heard him near.

“Wow. Of course, you’d want to hurt me.” 

“Of course. Now take it off, you’re going to stretch it.” 

“Mmmm, I don’t think I will.” He stepped up the edge of the mattress at their feet, and the weight of him leaning down, hands sinking into their comforter, drew their eye.

“You’re going to ruin it, like everything else you touch.” They quickly averted their gaze back to their book as they realized the potential double meaning behind their words, face burning. 

He was quiet for a moment, and they felt his gaze on them, making them itch. They could feel his eyes sifting over them, worsening their blush. As quickly as they felt his hands wrap around their ankles, they were abruptly tugged to the edge of the bed, and suddenly Silas was standing at the cradle of their hips and grinning down at them. 

“You know… you look pretty cute in my hoodie.” His tone dropped low and quiet, finger running along the fabric over their collarbone. Their skin burned wildly. “I gotta wonder, though, why you stole it. Kinda funny.” His tone was teasing but knowing. He reached out his hand, toying with a drawstring.

“It’s bigger than mine and warmer.” It technically wasn’t a lie. They’d actually stolen it because they wanted to annoy him, and also… because it smelled like him. And because it was cozy. And because it was his. “Mine is getting old and scratchy.” 

“I see.” He eyed them with a smirk. “No other reason? I mean, we have blankets. You’re literally laying on blankets now.” 

They pulled their lip through their teeth thoughtfully.

“I have my reasons.” 

“Yeah, and I’m asking for them.” 

���They’re mine and you can’t have them.” 

He chuckled, sliding his hands into the pocket of their hoodie – his hoodie that they wore.

“Alright then. But you’re not getting yours back until I get mine back.” He pulled at the fabric, distractedly biting at his lip.

“That’s fine.” 

A beat of silence. 

He supposed it was his fault for leaving it in the living room. He supposed he liked looking at them in it more than he liked wearing it himself. 

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 21

In the next month, Klaus had left their old apartment, and moved into Silas’s. 

Well, rather, their apartment. Their apartment that they then lived in, together, with Silas. 

It was terrifying, at first. It made them feel awfully vulnerable. Like somehow, he was seeing much more of them than before – and not in the sense of time. But in the sense of them, as a person. 

Seeing how much they truly kept to themself, typically holed up in their bedroom with a book when they weren’t absorbed in schoolwork. And how they were compulsively cleanly, and adamantly so. Silas wasn’t exactly slovenly, but his house had never been so pristine before. They kept their surroundings as a virologist might keep their infectious disease laboratory. 

The moment a mess appeared, they cleaned it. Everything had its place, and everything must stay in its place. They functioned on a strict schedule and routine. They awoke at relatively the same time every day, began their morning routine of extended silence and coffee, then showered and read and prepared for the day. The most variation they indulged in was at night – they might participate in some form of self-care (which varied from things like bubble baths with wine and a face mask to things like sharpening their various blades or doing a puzzle or getting high and watching a horror movie) or allowing themself to be convinced by Silas to do something fun. 

They truly were a control freak; everything had to be just so, or they would feel unstable. He had a few inklings as to why that might be. He thought it was most likely because they’d experienced so much that was so terrible, and so unexpectedly – not just the catalyzing event that had led them there, but before he’d even known them. If everything was just so - if they could control everything, they knew what to expect, and they could prevent anything from going wrong, and even if something did go wrong, they could at least know to expect it. 

Even so, he enjoyed it. He had honestly expected as much from them – they conducted themself as someone who was compulsively and obsessively tidy. 

Aside from their cleanliness habits being fully fleshed out, it had been quite fun. 

He adored how easy it was to wind them up when they thought they were in the safety of their own home. Their antics had never been so frequent and escalated. He loved it. 

They had even printed out a picture of him and pinned it to their cork board, and then stabbed scalpels and a switchblade into it. When he noticed it, they’d smirked and winked at him. He even observed that the placements of the stabbing blades changed regularly. 

“You know, you could always just actually stab me,” he teased. 

“You would like that too much.” They smirked, not even bothering to look up from their book as they lounged across their bed. 

They were right. 

He frequently would simply open their door to annoy them in some way or another, just as he had done when they had their own place. Only he did it far more often. 

“Don’t you ever knock?” They hissed, stumbling as they continued pulling their shirt over their head. He’d caught them undressing, and if he’d walked in just moments later, he likely would have caught them bare. Of course, this pleased him greatly. They wouldn’t admit that the idea pleased them, too. 

“Why would I do that?” He grinned cheekily, leaning against the doorframe. 

“What if I were naked? I nearly was! And god forbid I ever jack off and you decide to trot you merry little way in here.” 

“Well, yeah.” He said it as if it were obvious. “I mean… if you were touching yourself and I walked in, wouldn’t that just make things easier for you? Or harder, depending on your perspective – ow!” 

They threw a book at him. He laughed. 

“You’re disgusting. Get out.” 

He chuckled, noting how red they’d gone, but obliged. He was still laughing when he walked away. 

And then, of course, there was the issue with only having one bathroom. Usually, it was fine, but on occasion… things got more complicated. 

“You sit down when you pee?” Silas’s face poked around the shower curtain. 

Klaus rolled their eyes. 

“Firstly, yes. Unlike you, I can keep my cock out of my hand for longer than five minutes.” They shot him a smug look. “Secondly, I’m tired. If I don’t have to stand I won’t. Lastly… keep your eyes in your head.” Their smug expression became laced with something demure. 

Silas swallowed, face burning as they rose. The moment between them rising and pulling their drawers back up seemed to last just a moment too long. They shot him a knowing look, and he managed a wink. A wink with a very red face. 

They scoffed, rolling their eyes as they turned to wash their hands. 

“You know, I could use some help reaching my back.” They could hear his smirk as they washed their hands. 

Klaus scoffed again as they dried their hands. They shot him a look from over their shoulder and he smirked, biting his lip. The idiot dared to look hopeful. They had to admit, the sight of him like that, just barely peeking through the shower curtain was honestly quite comical. And cute. They shook their head. 

“And whatever for are you telling me this?” They arched a mocking brow. 

“I just thought you’d like to know. It could be valuable information for you, yknow.” He had disappeared behind the curtain again, but they could still hear his stupid grin. 

“Is that so?” Their tone sent a shiver through him, and he was very glad he’d retreated. 

“Sure. Never know when you’ll break down and join me in here. You know you want to.” 

It was quiet for a moment. For a second he thought they may have just left. 

Until the curtain abruptly pulled back, and Klaus just looked at him. They had that smirk on their face, that look in their eye. The wolfish one. God, he loved that look. It was obsession-worthy. He worked to maintain composure.

“See something you like?” 

Yes. 

“No.” 

They turned the hot water off and watched as he jumped, ice cold water shocking him. Their hand kept the hot water knob in place.

“Fuck!” He yelped, the cold water cutting through to the bone. They chuckled as he tried for the hot water knob and failed. “Ok, I’m sorry!” 

“I don’t think you are.” Their tone was steady – even under the horribly cold stream, it kind of turned him on. 

“Know what?” He tried to pull them in with him, but they had the advantage and managed to push him back easily with a single hand, foot on the ledge of the tub. 

“I don’t think so.” 

He opted to grab the shower head off its cradle and aim it at them. 

They gasped, quickly stepping behind the curtain, only a little too late. Just as quickly, he aimed from the other side of the curtain and got them. They made some offended sound before turning the hot water back up to where they’d found it. 

They glared at him as they pulled their towel off the wall.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, all smug and stupid. 

“Watch it.” 

“Or what?” 

“I’ll steal all the towels and hide them.” 

“I’ll just use your clothes.” 

They glared harder as their face pinked against their will. 

He sprayed them with the shower head again, effectively wetting them and their towel. 

“Silas!” 

“Oh, it’s been a while since I’ve heard you shout my name. You sure you don’t want to get in?” He chuckled. 

“You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid,” they couldn’t stop the grin that forced its way across their face – it was funny, they thought. Very funny. 

“I’m not the one who actually walked over here to check me out in the shower.” 

“You literally just asked me to get in the shower with you. Three times, actually, since I’ve walked in here. Idiot.” They walked over to the linens closet to get another towel – one that wasn’t wet. They grabbed another for the floor.

“Touche.” He turned the water off, opening the curtain and pulling his own towel off the wall. 

They cut him an indulgent sidelong glance over their shoulder, smirking as they continued drying off. 

He met their eye, arching an incredulous brow. 

“Really?” 

They huffed a laugh, looking him up and down before turning back around and leaving. 

They would both ask for another truce that night. 

Which… was another problem. 

The two were already quite bad at avoiding temptation, and living together seemed to present a lot of temptation. And with such temptation, Klaus had stopped cutting things off before they could get so far. 

And, while it was nice while it was happening – very, very nice, to say the least – the increasing frequency presented… challenges. Not interpersonally between them, so much, but intrapersonally for Klaus. 

After a while, the days following their truces had become torturously difficult. Which, on its own, also presented difficulties. It forced them to confront and analyze their feelings. It forced them admit to themself that they had feelings – enough so that they demanded to be analyzed. 

They thought it was horrid. Utterly horrid. It was a nightmare. Within months, it had sent them into a devastating spiral. 

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 20

It had been a week and a half since the incident that had turned their life upside down. 

The swelling in their eye receded, and they’d returned to class. They didn’t think they would have been able to do so without Silas, or at least not as easily. He had really and truly been an amazing help. They couldn’t believe it. 

He had even managed to make them laugh, genuinely laugh, for the first time in who knows how long. 

“Besides, I’m the only one who’s allowed to cause you suffering.” 

Not only had it made them laugh, but it also… well. It had several effects on them, including turning them on and making them fall in love a little more. 

They had responded by telling him to ‘shut up,’ and rolling their eyes despite their painful awareness of the hue of their face. He had always been so very good at making them suffer. In the best of ways. 

In the back of their mind, a little more than subconsciously, they’d already made up their mind. They wanted to stay with him. It was entirely selfish and indulgent, though, and they were shamefully aware of it. 

They felt that surely, it was wrong that they actually wanted to live with him – not just sleeping on his sofa temporarily. They were sure that if they admitted this, or even told him that they wanted to choose his home as their own, something awful would happen. 

He would say, oh… well, I meant it temporarily. I was just trying to be nice. You can’t just live here. 

And then he’d push them away because they’d spent too much time together and he wouldn’t want anything to do with them. He’d be relieved when they finally left. He might even help them leave just to rid himself of them. 

There would be no more banter, no more playful fights, no more soft touches, no more smiles or scowls, no more… truces. 

They heaved a sigh, head hung in their hands. They were sat on their sofa again, overthinking everything. Again. They had destroyed their nails in the past week, a dead give away of their mental and emotional state. 

Their phone buzzed. 

Silas (knife emoji, blood emoji, skull emoji, fire emoji, heart emoji): When was the last time you left your house? 

They had left their house for class and work. He knew that, he was there. Why would he even ask? 

Klaus: you literally witnessed me leave my house today. 

Silas: No, I mean – other than school or whatever. Like… leisure? When was the last time you did something besides stress out on your sofa?

They grimaced at their phone. They were actively stressing out on their sofa that very moment. 

Klaus: it’s irrelevant. 

Silas: … you’re stressing on your sofa right now, aren’t you? 

Klaus: No. shut up. 

Silas: lmaoooo 

Silas: ok. Come over and let’s go out or something. Even if it’s just for a walk. 

Klaus. … fine. But I’m going to complain the entire time. 

Silas: I’d expect nothing less.  

After a glass of wine and slowly and begrudgingly being  persuaded from their sour mood, Silas convinced them to go on a walk and share a joint, which led them to a bar. 

“Why not? You deserve to unwind and blow off some steam,” he had said, shrugging with that stupid, cute smile of his. “Drinks are on me.” 

“… I guess,” they had huffed. 

They made it as far as 3 drinks – they settled on gin, and Silas was having whiskey, per usual. 

“You should just move in with me.” 

Klaus nearly choked on their drink. They stared at him. Surely, they’d misheard. 

“What?” 

“You should just… move in with me. I know you hate me and whatever,” he shot them some knowing look, “but watching you be so stressed out and depressed is… really hard. You don’t even deserve any of this in the first place. Plus, I like being close to you. Y’know, like being able to walk across the street and annoy you.”

“Ahhh, so that’s what this is, you just want to drive me crazy. Is that your master plan then? To just make me lose my mind once and for all?” He was getting pretty close as it was. Even so, they couldn’t help their grin. 

“Yes.” They both chuckled. 

“I should have known.” They shook their head. 

“But seriously. Like, I don’t mind helping you support yourself if it means you’re like – not suffering or starving or god forbid, homeless. But just thinking about you having to deal with moving your stuff, draining your already limited funds on move-in costs, either living alone in some hole in the ground or – or – god, the idea of someone else annoying you? Like if you didn’t get along with your roommates? Which, you won’t, I know you. People our age are messy and you’ll hate it and them. What if you started fighting? With someone else? That would be terrible! That’s my job.” He pressed his finger into the sticky booth’s table as if to make a point as he concluded his impassioned speech. 

Klaus blinked, face tickling burning and surely incredulous. 

“Silas, I had no idea you felt that strongly about me.” They teased, though they weren’t lying. They forced the best condescending smirk they could, trying to appear unfazed. 

“I – well – uh,” he stumbled ungracefully over his words, face going red and distracted. 

Huh. 

It was as if he’d been caught red handed. 

“I just… yknow… you’re my enemy. No one else is allowed to fuck with you.” He stated decisively, shrugging. 

They appraised him for a moment, best they could through their drunkenness. He seemed… nervous, uncomfortable. Interesting, they thought. 

“Well…” they started, tone both addressing his suspicious behavior, and opening up their dialogue. “I suppose it would be much more convenient. Besides the whole… you bit.” 

A teasing smirk tugged at their lips, the first genuine expression of its kind in two weeks. It seemed to elicit some reaction in him, and they watched as his throat bobbed. 

“And you’re right. I hate everyone. Including you. Especially you. But I can at least…” they cut themself off before they admitted they could tolerate him. “Ah,” they thought of a way to finish that sentence. They swallowed. “At least I’m accustomed to you.” They tried to force their face blank, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“It’s ok, you can admit that you kind of like me sometimes.” He grinned cheekily. They had missed that stupid shit-eating grin of his. 

“Absolutely not.” They silently kicked themself, as even saying that was an admission in itself. 

“Besides, at this point we’re like… frenemies. You know?” The bartender motioned at him questioningly, and he nodded an affirmative for another round. 

“Frenemies?” They cut him a suspicious sidelong glance, appraising him. 

“Yeah, like, sometimes we hate each other, sometimes we make each other laugh. We know each other’s intimate details and sometimes we use those details to either do each other wrong or right. It’s like a hate-love relationship.” 

Love? They scoffed. They almost choked. Their body bristled and they felt some awful feeling rise. 

“You mean you love me, and I hate you?” The edge in their voice was purely defensive. 

“… Sure.” He smiled down at his now empty glass, some sad smile smile. 

They felt as if they would choke on their own heart as it did some dreadful maneuver. They exhaled indignantly through their nose. 

“Nonsense.” They muttered, sinking into themself. 

“See what I mean?” He chuckled. 

They paused. They reflected on the past few hours. Yes, they did see what he meant. Unfortunately. They were too busy glaring at nothing in particular in the distance to notice how he was looking at them. 

“Whatever,” they grumbled. He all but giggled. “Shut up, with your stupid little songbird giggling.” His stupid cute little laugh. 

“Songbird giggling?” He nearly cackled. 

They felt the urge to strangle him. 

The bartender slid them their new, full drinks. They took a deep breath and sighed, trying to force their nerves into compliance. 

“I’m really going to kill you one of these days.” 

They returned to his, thoroughly inebriated, stumbling over one another, arms interlinked, the occasional push and shove, and laughing. 

“Ok so are you gonna move in with me or what?” He smiled lopsidedly up at them as he clumsily plopped down onto the sofa, reclining with his arms behind his head. 

So smug and goofy. They thought it was stupidly cute, even if his smugness was annoying. But somehow, being drunk did considerable work to push it into the cute and stupid and goofy and charming direction. 

“You really want me to live with you, don’t you?” They arched a teasing brow before stretching. Silas’s eyes lingered on the hollow of their stomach, revealed by the hem of their shirt. “Earth to Silas.” They waved a hand near his face, chuckling as they lazily slid to the ground, leaning their side against the sofa. 

“Huh? Oh, uh, I mean, I just… for you. Yknow.”

“For me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a mockery. 

“Mhm.” He nodded decisively.

They let out a trill of a laugh and shot him an unconvinced look. He responded with a meek, sheepish half smile with a half shrug. 

They sighed and shook their head, trying not to smile. That was adorable. 

“Yeah… I mean… it would be easier. The easiest option, surely. No more hunting for places, no more talking to strangers who want to get to know me, no more fretting about all the costs and whatnot…” they sighed, tired and admittedly feeling a bit defeated. 

“Exactly!” 

“But… what if… I don’t know. What if you get tired of me or something.” Their voice came out small, a barely audible mumble. 

“What if… what?” He looked at them with bleary eyes as if they’d said something completely insane. 

“I mean… we’d be spending a lot of time together. What if it got old? What if… I don’t know.” They stared at their hands, fidgeting. 

“That’s literally never going to happen. Impossible.” 

“I just… I don’t know, Silas. I can’t help but feel there’s a lot of risk in it.” 

“Risk of what?” He had the gall to look sad. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” 

He continued to look at them like that. 

“It would be fun?” He offered sheepishly. 

They scoffed, looking back down at their hands. 

“Why do you want it so badly anyway?” They weren’t teasing; their voice was soft and quiet, as if at a loss. 

“Like I said – your other options would be super stressful and just kinda suck, I guess. And then it would be sooo much harder for me to annoy you and stuff.” 

And stuff. 

“God forbid you have to get in a car to annoy me,” they grumbled, rolling their eyes. 

“Yeah! And – what if I get there and you’re already in an argument with your roommate? They won’t do the dishes fast enough and you’re freaking them out with your scalpels! I don’t even know what I’d do!” 

They both chuckled. It was strangely sweet. 

“What would you do?” They smirked, narrowing their eyes suspiciously. He seemed to think for a moment. 

“I’d fight them and kidnap you. Hulk style.” 

Klaus fully cackled. What an image. 

“I’m imaging you bursting through the wall like the Kool-Aid man and just pointing at them and looking all angry. You’d probably say something stupid like ‘their scalpels are hot, and you should do the dishes,’ and then throw me over your shoulder while I beat at your back.” They managed their mental image through giggles. 

“That’s exactly what I would do,” he grinned, chuckling. 

They ignored the way the mention of him throwing them over his shoulder and protesting stirred extremely dangerous and forbidden memories. 

“And then I’d make you pay for the property damage.” They chuckled. 

“Fair.” He admitted, tilting his head. They let out a few last trills, wiping their eyes. “So…?” He gave them an expectant look. 

“I…” They wanted to, they really did – more than they would ever admit. But the fear loomed considerably. He must have seen it, because he spoke up. 

“And I highly doubt boredom will be an issue. If anything, the opposite. I mean, have you ever been bored around me? I haven’t.” 

They thought about it. No, they had never been bored around him. Quite the opposite, as he’d said. That in itself introduced a well of its own potential risks. 

“Silas…” they sighed, suddenly somber. “You realize that… that in itself… presents a plethora of risks? I know at face value, yes, it could sound ‘fun,’ but… think about it. Realistically. Something could happen. I…” they sighed, shaking their head, “I can’t believe I’m about to admit this,” their tone confirmed as much, “but I do enjoy our relationship – as much as I hate it, and you at times – deeply,” they made some shuddering face, closing their eyes for a moment, “I don’t… want something to happen.” 

“Something…?” He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head in confusion.

There was a moment when they looked painfully sober. “As cruel as we’ve been to each other, you have also been…” they closed their eyes, looking as if they were bracing themself, “shockingly kind and good to me. Moreso than anyone has ever been. Which is… probably sad. And if you ever repeat those words, I will hang your head on the wall like a game trophy,” they pinned him with a sharp look, at which his face reddened, which they ignored. “And perhaps this is selfish. And pathetic. And a slew of other unfortunate things. But I…” they sighed again, seemingly tortured, “don’t want to lose you.” The words were barely audible. 

He simply stared at them for a moment, looking considerably taken aback. 

“Oh,” was all he said for a moment before blinking back into reality. “Well, obviously, I agree. Not that it’s selfish or pathetic or whatever – none of that. I don’t want to lose you either. Why do you think I’m asking you this? Or, like… any number of other things I’ve done. I mean… any of it. All of it.” He looked at them seriously, face calm but full of several unreadable emotions. 

“Oh.” They… weren’t sure how to take that. They let out a sheepish breath of a laugh. “But, what if… I don’t know. 

“Klaus, if something were going to happen to tear us apart, it would have been any of the atrocious things we’ve done to each other.” He arched an amused brow. “But here we are.” 

Something about that made them feel… a lot of things. A lot of things all at once that were overwhelming and wonderful and terrible. That strange painful and wonderful twisting returned to their chest. 

“That’s… a very valid point.” They let out another breath of a nervous laugh. “Ok.” 

“Ok?” 

“Ok.”