#NO BCUZ I CANT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD

[feli026]

Igor having unspeakable rizz .mp4

[aquamaggot]

AtoZ was my 2005 warp tour chiakao was my petekey

[rainbowgothdisaster]

the thing that hard stances on "batman should kill villains" and "heros dont do that" misses is that

1) batman is presented with a trolley problem where the one person is actually driving the trolley and is choosing to hit ppl rather than not, and batmans choice then is to either let the trolley hit ppl (not an actual option) or try to stop the trolley nonlethally (& maybe fail and have to live with that) & be presented with this dilemma forever or blow up the trolley & wonder if you couldve had 0 deaths from the situation. and you can always look at a hypothetical trolley problem and make a decision but being in it is harder and whether you are plagued by indecision or actively choose to hurt the least amount of ppl you will come out wondering if there was another way.

1.5) batman knows some of the rogues personally from before and thats gotta be rough man. like we can all say kill the serial killer but would you do it if the serial killer was a friend? wouldnt that make you more inclined to pick the 2nd choice? wouldnt that make the 3rd choice hit harder?

2) sometimes its more beneficial and satisfying to victims and/or their families to see the perpetrator get their comeuppance than to get the chance to turn their life around & maybe hurt more ppl and that is something that needs to be considered (wow would you look at that, thats jason todd's story huh?)

[meshiinuma]

pool day

relationship: poly sashisu x reader

desc: it's your mission to keep your lifeguard date mates company while they perform their duties at the pool

wrd cnt: 3.6k

warnings: gn reader, fluff !!, thats it !!!

a(shley's)/n: this is mostly 4 me bcuz i got my nostril pierced n now i CANT GO UNDERWATER . I ONLY WENT 2 THE POOL ONCE THIS SUMMER AUGHHHHH and i bought some rlly cute swimsuits 2 :[[[ sighhhhh ill resign myself 2 being above water i suppose also the song suguru is humming later is paikea by patea maori club

‘fwee!’

at the sound of the sharp whistle of the lifeguard, you stop.

“no running.” she calls out to you, smugness tinging her tone.

you look up to see shoko sitting at the top of the tall lifeguard chair. she has her sunglasses low on the bridge of her nose, staring you down with a salacious look in her deep dark brown eyes.

“and no food by the pool.” with a pout, you lean on one of the white bases of the high chair and suck at your blue raspberry popsicle.

“this is a dictatorship.” you finally say after slurping out enough flavor to satisfy you for the time being.

“shame.” shoko pulls off her sunglasses and gets a good look at you from your spot underneath the huge red shade attached to the back of her chair, her blindingly white shirt dulled underneath the shadow. if you looked close enough, you could see her black bikini bottoms peeking out.

she tucks some of her hair behind her ear, you thought it was growing out quite nicely. you didn’t say that though. you actually just chomped off the discolored part of the popsicle, pure ice melting on your tongue.

sigh “i don’t know why all three of you decided to sign up for lifeguarding, now i’m all alone, burning. slowly infecting myself with skin cancer…!” your girlfriend chuckles at your dramatic declaration. 

“you know we need some cash, just surviving off of satoru’s trust fund isn’t enough. plus, you have your own job.” shoko reasons, her attention slipping from you briefly so she could switch off her water proof alarm, beeping to remind her to switch out guard posts.

“that pays more too…” you mumbled and licked up a stray droplet about to fall onto the concrete. out of the corner of your eye, you see shoko stop for a moment and stare at the pink muscle work it’s way up the rocket-shaped dessert.

to suck more sugar out of the ice, you take the popsicle fully into your mouth and slowly pull it out with a pop.

by now, shoko was down from her post and smacked you lightly on the shoulder, “in public?” judging by her grin and the little flush across her cheeks, she didn’t care.

“as if you, satoru, and suguru don’t do worse, hm?” you leaned forward with a teasing grin, close enough to give her a little peck with your blue stained lips.

she giggled at the ticklish feeling of your lips brushing against her soft cheek and pushed you away when you bit into it lightly, “okay, okay. there’s kids around, you know that?” she drawls, but still gives you a kiss and nip on your bottom lip back.

the two of you are interrupted by two pairs of feet leisurely strolling down the side of the pool, one voice greeting you and your girlfriend loudly.

you look up to see the last half to your heart approaching, one in a lifeguard tank top and the other shirtless, both have bright red swim trunks on.

“hi baby! hi my darling shoko!” satoru jogs up and gives you a wet kiss on your lips, more spit than lip action. he repeats the action with his girlfriend. she splutters and gently shoves him away.

“you’re like a dog, slobbering everywhere…” shoko leans up to peck him on the forehead, cradling his head like she did yours.

suguru comes up behind satoru and leans over him to give you a kiss on the cheek, deciding to save his more overt affection for later.

once shoko and satoru separate, suguru leans over shoko and gives her a kiss on the top of her head. she reciprocates with a kiss to his jaw while satoru bounds up the lifeguard chair and settles into place with his rescue tube.

when they pulled away, you admired the way they stared at each other. the love they had was palpable. you smiled involuntarily and licked at your popsicle.

they pulled apart when the manager of the pool speed walked by with a bark of an order, “ieiri! to your station! geto! back to making rounds around the pool!” 

there was always something bothering him. shoko just rolled her eyes and waved goodbye to her partners, leisurely walking to her next lifeguard post at a farther end of the pool.

satoru brushed your shoulder closest to him with the end of his crocs, “hey.” you looked up to see his own sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, a silly grin on his face, “can’t eat near the pool.” just like a little puppy dog, he tilted his head to the side and let out a huff of air like a laugh.

in response, you stared up at him with sultry eyes as you tossed whatever was left of the popsicle around your tongue. when you bit of the last of the ice, you slowly pulled the stick while maintaining eye contact.

satoru’s face turned red and his beautiful ocean blues widened. he whipped his head to the side and mumbled, “shut up…” you giggled and slapped his exposed calf, moving towards suguru.

internally, you were giggling and screaming and kicking your legs. suguru was just the type to make anyone shy and flustered, even if he was a big softie on the inside. outwardly, you were coy and sly, “hey, big boy.” at your approach, suguru cupped his hand on the side of your head and granted you the privilege of one of his soft lipped smiles.

“hi,” he fiddled with some of your hair, then perked up.

“oh!” he leaned down to the white plumeria bushes lining the pool fence and plucked one with a long stem. your boyfriend turned back to you, still waiting patiently, and slipped it behind your left ear. after he secured it, he kissed the shell of your left ear, “thought of you after i saw them.” suguru whispered, sending giddy shivers down your spine at the thought of taking up space in someone’s mind.

when he pulled away, a lovely grin split your face almost in two and you bashfully looked away, carefully cupping the flower decorating your ear.

“wh-hey!” you and suguru turned to satoru, who had a grumpy look on his face at the affection you were receiving.

“aw, do you want one too satoru?” before he could answer, you were already making your way towards the bushels of flowers.

your fingers danced around tons of white petaled, yellow centered flowers until you found the one with the brightest center. just like your sun.

you plucked it happily, with ample room on the stem so you could tuck it behind his left ear, and bounded over to the lifeguard chair he was sat at.

“i have something for you!” you singsonged, holding the pretty flower behind your back.

satoru gasped as if he didn’t just watch you pluck from the flower bushes, “for me? i couldn’t possibly imagine what it could be!”

shyly, you stepped up to the first step of the chair and held out the flower. like a dog offering something for its beloved owner.

your other boyfriends hands cupped the petals, making sure not to crumple them, “oh…thank you baby…” he looked up at you, love and adoration crowding his eyes, “i love it,” and he moved to take it from you, but you slipped it away at the last second, “nuh-uh! I’ll put it on for you, then i know it’ll look perfect. a perfect flower for my perfect baby.” 

bright red exploded across the pale cheeks of your boyfriend as you stuck the wooden popsicle stick in your mouth and gently turned his head so you could slip the flower behind his left ear, “i’m your perfect baby?” he asked.

when you finished, you turned his head back to you to get a good look at him, “my most perfect, most loveliest, smartest baby.”

satoru looked beautiful.

he does everyday, but the delicate flower added a more gentle touch to him. something that distanced him from the cold winter beauty he was born with. made him more suited for the bright blue of the pool in the full swing of summer.

you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, “you’re so beautiful satoru.” you spoke around the stick in your mouth. suguru came up next to you and leaned on the side of the chair, looking up at satoru with reverence shining in his fox eyes.

“you really are beautiful…” he trailed off and satoru got flustered all over again, jutting his wet pink bottom lip out with a shy smile.

“thanks…” your white haired lover turned back to you and suguru, something more down to earth twisting his lips up, “you guys are pretty beautiful too, even more than me.” he chuckled as you ruffled the top of his head (careful not to jostle the plumeria out).

“alright you charmer, weaseling your way into our hearts,” you smacked his bare pec and got down from the chair, going back to the flowers blooming and making the whole area smell so sweet, yet spicy with undertones of cinnamon.

another flower made it’s way into your hands, but this one was a bright blush pink with a spot of yellow in the middle. 

suguru’s intense. he burns with love and care for everything that could ever be cared about. passionate. he craves happiness on the inside. for as long as you’ve known him, he’s always been pursuing joy to complete him. you hope he feels complete around you, satoru, and shoko.

“turn around and crouch down a little.” suguru follows obediently with a hum and lets you part his bun so you could safely tuck the little flower into his top knot. when done, you move his hair out of the way so you could peck the nape of his neck.

at the brush of your lips against him, he shudders and jerks away with a chuckle, “alright, calm down, you can do that later.” you just rolled your eyes.

when looking at suguru head on, the little bit of intense pink poked out behind him. it just added more to his thin and refined features, crafted with light and precise strokes of a brush.

your thumb reached up to swipe at a droplet of sweat starting to run down his forehead, “have you been putting sunscreen on?” your head whipped around to satoru, “both of you?” 

“sir yes sir!” satoru saluted while you and suguru chuckled. satoru has sensitive skin that burns easy, and his refusal to put a shirt on only heightens the chances of him coming home peeling and burnt to a crisp. suguru needs sunscreen less, but he still cares for the health of his skin. that doesn’t stop him from coming home a few shades darker and having tan lines from his work clothes.

you kissed suguru’s cheek and went over to the lifeguard chair that satoru was at, already waiting with his head ducked.

“good. now i’m gonna go give one to shoko,” you plucked a completely white flower from the bushes and started towards where shoko was seated, “make sure not to slack off!” you called out behind you as you threw away the popsicle stick in a trashcan.

satoru and suguru just waved goodbye to you, sporting mischievous grins.

the stem of the flower twirled between your fingers while your mind wandered off to your girlfriend.

smart shoko. smart, beautiful, trusting, obsessively clean shoko. you sighed wistfully at the memory of her forcing suguru out of the pool last summer after he got his nipples pierced, citing the insane amount of germs floating around in a pool, even if they were sanitized with chlorine. if someone was drowning in front of shoko, you don’t think she’d jump in and get them herself.

your feet slowed once they approached the base of the lifeguard chair, “hello lovely girlfriend of mine.” you cooed, reaching for her hand resting on the armrest of the chair.

“why hello to you too, light of my life, fire of my loins.” her hand went to caress you from the top of your head to the bottom of your chin, “i thought we were in public, sho-ko.” you teased and moved to stand in front of the lifeguard chair.

“sorry babe, just can’t resist myself around you.” she chuckled as you rolled your eyes.

“whatever now get over here, i have something for you.” you stood on the first step of the lifeguard chair, still twirling the plumeria in your hand.

“oh? i’d love to see it.” she drawled, offering her head to you.

judging by her nonchalant reaction, she had seen the interaction between her partners.

with tender hands, you tucked the flower behind her left ear and secured it as best as you could. when you were done, your hand slid down to her jaw and brought her head up to face you.

“you look really good, shoko.” you had to restrain yourself from pouring your heart out, or she’d shrink away (a habit you, satoru, and suguru were trying to break). in reality, she looked more than good. she looked stunning. the pure white flower mellowed her out, adding some contrast to her lightly tanned skin and brunette hair. it complimented her faint freckles too, giving the perfect image of a beautiful island dwelling twenty-something woman who spent all her time by the shore.

but you couldn’t say any of that. you just leaned in and kissed her cheek, “like, really good.” 

she flushed a light pink and tucked her stray hair back, “thanks, you look good too.” you couldn’t hold yourself back, you have the most amazing woman in the world and you weren’t going to waste time saving your words for the right time. you could die tomorrow and shoko would never know how beautiful you think she is.

“pretty girl shoko.” a kiss to her jaw, “smart girl shoko.” a kiss to her forehead, “my most amazing girl shoko.” a kiss to the tip of her nose.

your (future wife) girlfriend giggled and pushed you away lightly, looking away so you wouldn’t see her chill facade break at your insistence to love on her, “okay! okay, i get it…”

“anything interesting happen while i was gone?” you hum and turn shoko back to you as she fans herself with a baseball cap satoru slapped onto her head before they left the house for their shift.

“well,” she swallowed and finally looked back at you, “i watched a bird, like, dive for someone's ice cream and take a whole chunk out of it. it kinda looked like a crow and later i saw this lady with a weird braid surrounded by crows.” you leaned against the armrest of the lifeguard chair as she regaled you with more tales of the pool, “and then i saw these two kids, one of them had pink hair and the other had a bob, push this other kid that looked like a sea urchin-”

“how could you say that about a child shoko!” you gasped dramatically, “this is an injustice to all children in the world!” she just flicked your forehead and continued, undisturbed.

“anyway, they pushed the kid in and when he got out he chased them with his service dogs.”

“did you tell them to stop running?” amusement filled your voice, “nope.” she popped the p and settled back into her chair.

“oh, so you’re just targeting me then? how rude.” your fists went to your hips and she just pushed her (you’re pretty sure those are satoru’s, if you were to judge by the expensive luxury brand on the arm) sunglasses up the bridge of her nose, “yup.” 

before you could retort back, the pool manager passed by and barked out another order, “no distractions ieiri! back to work!” and he speed walked past, yelling at other employees as he went.

shoko rolled her eyes and you sighed, “i’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” and you pecked her on the lips.

“yeah, see ya’.” she said after you pulled away and made your way to the many slides at the pool.

for the next hour, you went down all of the slides twice, did some sick tricks on the diving boards, and raided the snack bar for free popsicles and ice cream bars (through all of this, you placed the plumeria safely in your pool bag. you retrieved it when you got sick of the water and pruney fingers, choosing to stay on land for a bit).

the pool lets lifeguards go for lunch during adult swim, so when they call for everyone under eighteen to get out, you happily make your way to the little cluster of circle benches in the food court.

you spot shoko and satoru in the far corner, shaded by a large tree and having an animated conversation.

as you approach, you start to hear bits and pieces of their conversation and pick up on the agitated tone in shoko’s reply, “dude, it’s not even going to happen there’s zero chance of that, so i have no clue why you think i’m the best person to ask for that answer.” satoru sighs, “it’s a hypothetical question, shoko! it’s not going to happen! but if it did happen i’d have to think about it!”

“what are you thinking about? i didn’t even know you could do that, satoru.” you take a seat at the bench next to shoko. satoru opens his mouth to speak, then stops, “hey…” you waved him off, “what were you talking about, though?”

“if it’s ethical to fuck my clone.”

…

“oh.” you blink at him, “well. hm.” you pause, mulling the question over in your mind, “i think we need suguru for that one.” swiveling your head around, you look for him, “where is he, anyway?”

“in the snack bar.” shoko replies, turning back to satoru to comment on the absurdity of his question as you rise to get your boyfriend.

suguru is standing in front of the soda machine, getting some cola in a to go cup and singing under his breath, “uie mai koia, whakahuatie ake…” but stops when you shove your face into his (actually really sweaty, gross) back and wrap your arms around his waist.

“oh! hi baby,” his big hand goes to hold your arm as you listen to him fill up another cup with soda. you pull away pretty fast once you couldn’t take the face-full of stink coming from his semi-drenched tank top. you didn’t blame him, today was one of the hottest days of the month.

“i’m almost done here, can you get our lunch from the fridge?” like the loving and amazing partner you are, you grab the bright yellow lunch box with tons of zippers, the baby blue and gray square lunch box, and the green tiffin box covered with a dark forest green handkerchief. from the freezer compartment, you grab an ice cream bar for yourself.

when you turn around, you see suguru waiting for you with three to go cups filled with various drinks and one heat insulating thermos in his hands, “got everything?” and he tilts his head in that adorable way that makes his bang swish a little and it fills you with the urge to dote over him and pinch his cheeks.

you push down the urge, “yeah!” and follow him out the door.

suguru places down everyone's drink first and you put down lunch boxes immediately afterwards. shoko’s tiffin, satoru’s box, and suguru’s lunch box that could qualify as a mini satchel.

you sit down afterwards and unwrap your ice cream bar, taking a big bite out of it first thing. shoko opens her tiffin and starts to snack from the top compartment filled with shrimp chips. satoru opens his box and unwraps a soft baked dessert, sinking his teeth into it once it was sufficiently out of its casing. suguru doesn’t unzip his own until he sees everyone has started eating, but as he moves to open his lunch he stops and narrows his eyes at you.

“is that all you’ve been eating today?” he accuses you in the middle of your bite of vanilla goodness.

“yesh.” you reply, mouth full of the cold dessert.

suguru pouts and says your name in the way you would when you’re mildly disappointed in someone, “you have to eat something with actual substance!” he declares as he opens his lunch box fully and pulls out something wrapped.

“well maybe you shouldn’t tell me you guys have too much frozen stuff and then give me the key to the snack bar!” you retort after swallowing.

your boyfriend just rolls his eyes and places a wrapped and square object in front of you, “here. since i know you don’t eat anything that’ll keep you full when you’re here.” you reach across the table to give satoru your ice cream bar (so he can have a bite, at this point it’s become instinctual to give him a little bit of your dessert when he’s around) and unwrap the object.

you gasp at what’s inside.

“a sandwich? for me?” you coo and take a bite of the mediterranean sandwich you saw him prep that morning, you just didn’t know he was making another one for you.

“thank you, sugu!” and you peck him on the cheek for his chivalrous activity.

he just looks away bashfully and opens up his thermos to take a sip from the hot tea he brewed that morning.

happily, you gobble down the sandwich made just for you as conversation leisurely flows through the table. sometimes you pick off one of shoko’s spring rolls, satoru’s oreos, or sips of suguru’s tea. none of them mind, willing to give anything to you. their lover. light of their lives.

you were just content. happy to be covered in chlorine water, eyes stinging a bit, and sating your ravenous hunger. here, with your lovers and the scent of sweet and spicy filling the air.

[matoitech]

tumblr annihilated the quality of this so i added a text free image of him so ppl could actually see him! the quality will probably hold up better on my FA lol. i wanted to use a text tool in paint or sai to write all that out but they were either crunchy or just straight up not working for me today

anyway i have had levels boyfriend-adjacent guy in my head for months (almost a year honestly i think) but i only had a fuzzy idea for his design itself in my head and the many attempts i made to just find smth by doodling weren't promising. so while i still think this is a little complex for him (probably kinda overdesigned especially cuz im still so pleased with levels design and her color blocking and she has a great 'looks more complicated than she actually is to draw' design to me) and ill likely mess w it a bit in the future, im happy with where i ended up this time! i have a lot less experience drawing robots than i do just normal furries so figuring out pleasing shapes, lines, and plating for more inorganic stuff isnt rly second nature to me, but i'll get there, and im happy with him for now :-)

one thing i was trying to translate w his design that i couldnt fit on the ref was that since he's level's mechanic and he also does as much of his own servicing as he can, i wanted some of their plating and (minimal) greebling to be similar. zag has some plating styles he likes i think.. i did want their colors to contrast but still look good together :) i had to fight everything in me to not make him just teal. i love you teal. level had enough teal in her design lol. zag got a greener teal for highlights than level's 'beachier' color scheme bcuz i cant resist at least a LITTLE bit

[graciegoeskrazy]

cause it all means nothing my dear

matty healy x teen!STEPDAUGHTER!r (bcuz I cant stop with new characters omfg)

warnings: ermmmm??? sad asf??? some fluff, not even angst just sad, loooooots of cryin, stepdad matty, queen mummy gab, ft George and stepdaughter!!!, she's about 17 in this, R IS 14

a/n: one of the saddest things I’ve ever written oop. as I've said before, I just moved to nyc for college and erm well busy is an understatement. i’m sorry for such a delay but i'm hoping to get back on track now. love ya.

Matty noticed the new house was far too quiet for it being a Friday night. Usually, music was blaring from his and your mom’s shared bedroom as she got ready for an event or party, or you would have friends sleeping over, bothering and tricking himself or your mom into doing whatever you wanted. Tonight was different though. It was quiet. Too quiet. When he walked up the stairs to check on the cause of the silence, a moment of stillness was rare recently. Between the new house with countless unpacked boxes, along with back-to-school and wedding planning, something was always happening in the Bechtel-Healy household.

When he approached the top of the stairs he was met with his fiance right outside your door, pacing. Her eyes met Matty’s. He tilted his head signaling her to explain as he walked forward.

She spoke in hushed whispers. “She won’t come out of her room! It’s been like 6 hours. She hasn't even eaten dinner!”

Matty glanced at the closed door next to them before going back to your mom. “Pre-teens do that, babe, I wouldn't worry.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and the other on her hip, pulling her slightly closer, trying to ease her worries.

“Yeah, well, not my pre-teen.”

Matty’s eyes shifted. “Do you reckon it’s about me?’

Gabby shrugged him off, “Nah, she tells me everything about that. This is something different.”

They were expecting this change to take some time to get used to for you. In fact, they would’ve been more scared if you didn’t show any signs of uncertainty. They knew they were moving fast, and expected some sort of hesitancy.

The silence that follows is heavy, 

The tension in the hallway is palpable as the conversation drifts to a standstill. You can hear the faint rustling of your mom’s clothes as she leans back against the door, her worry seeping through the wood. Matty shifts beside her, his usual laid-back demeanor replaced by something more uncertain.

“I kept trying to check on her but now she’s just avoiding me. I don’t know what to do.”

At this point, you had enough of the hushed whispers going back and forth between the two.

‘Is she sick?’

‘Did something happen at school?’

‘Is she getting bullied?’

‘Is she just on her period? You know she was pms-ing bad last month-’

“You know I can hear you both, right?”

The talking on the other side stops. The door is slowly opened and all you can hear is the creaking sound it makes when opened. “Heyyyy.” They both say with a slight smile. The funny act warms your heart and is enough to make you smile…just a bit.

“Hello.” You say. Plain. No meaning behind it.

Your mom opens up the door a little bit more as they walk in. You turn your attention to your phone. “Whatcha doin?” She asks.

“Cryin.” You say, trying to manage your sniffles.

“Why’s that?” She says sweetly. You don’t answer.

Matty speaks up now. “Y/n you can’t expect us to leave you alone when you come home sobbing your eyes out?”

Gabby nods, “We’re just worried, baby. That’s all.”

You put your phone down when tears start to form. You close your eyes in an attempt to stop them but it’s not enough. “Just go away. Please?” You whisper.

Their heart breaks at the sight of you. What could have possibly happened that causes you this much ache and pain? Matty tries to speak, “Honey-”

“Please?” You keep your eyes closed so you don’t see Matty and Gabby nod to each other and agree and make their exit. Not before adjusting your covers and planting a kiss on your forehead.

—-------

“I need help.” Matty says through the phone.

George’s voice rings through the other end. “You okay?”

“No,” Matty says.

George pauses, confused. “Okay, what’s up?”

“She’s freaking out, she came home crying, Gabby’s with her, I don't know how to be helpful.” He says rambling.

“Who?”

“Y/n, who else.”

George chuckles a bit. “Mhm, okay, and why are you calling me?”

Matty is genuinely filled with panic. “I don’t know! I mean, how did you and Mini Charli do this? How did you do this? This is terrifying.”

George laughs. “What? Taking care of pre-teens?”

“You know what I mean- having a step-daughter.” he says, almost whispering.

“You didn’t think to ask yourself that before you put a ring on her mom’s finger?”

He rolls his eyes. “Funny, very Funny. Of course, I did…and we’re chill but… I don’t know.” George just hums. “Bring the younger Charli ‘round. She’ll be more of a help.”

George agrees.“Baby! Come here. Someone’s ringing you.” As she meets George she grabs the phone, giving her step father a confused look.

“Yes?”

“I need your help.” Matty says.

She’s shocked to hear him on the other line. “Matty?”

“Yes, it’s Matty. I need your help.”

She sighs, “Mom says I can’t score you weed anymore, we talked about this.” she says, half joking, half serious.

“What?” George says.

She gives him a look before turning back to Matty. “Don’t worry about it- why do you need my assistance?”

“Y/n is upstairs crying and we don’t know what to do.”

“...Okay?”

“And I’m trying to be helpful but I’m absolutely clueless so please, tell me, how did you and George become besties?”

She laughs. “You’re only thinking about this now?”

“That’s what I said.” George chimes in.

Matty sighs again. “Just help me. Please?”

She thinks for a second then turns back to George. “Look away, I’m not saying good things about you to your face.” She playfully turns his cheek. “Well first off, she’s younger and way more smart than I was at her age when I went through all this so it’s different. Plus, we don’t have the same backstory.”

“What do you mean?”

“Matty, although, yes, my biological father left me, he was with me and then he left and then with me and then left and over and over and over again forever. Based on his pattern we could be expecting yet another knock on our door from him any day now. With Y/n, it’s different. Her dad was in the right state of mind and in that state of mind…he chose to leave her. Not only leave her but leave and never come back. He’s had 12 years to choose to come back and be a father, but he didn’t.”

Matty stayed silent, processing every world coming out of her mouth.

“Take it from me. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say. Nothing will get rid of the awkwardness right away or the fact that whenever she thinks of you being her stepdad she thinks of yet another person she loves leaving.”

“But if I say I’m here for her and I’m not gonna leave she just shuts me out!”

“Because it’s probably not the first time someone like you has promised her that, Matty…”

That’s when it all clicked. “She’s willing to shut you out because she doesn’t want to get attached to someone who’s just gonna leave again.” He tried to let these words sink in. “What I’m trying to say is don’t try and be the cool dad, or the funny one, or any kind of dad at all. First and foremost, just be a friend. Then after that… you could be her dad. Just be the one who stays.”

—————

You stay curled up on your bed, the familiar comfort of your blankets wrapped tightly around you. The room is dim, the only light coming from the small lamp on your nightstand, casting soft shadows on the walls. You can still hear the faint echoes of your Mom and Matty’s conversation, but now, it’s just the quiet hum of the house around you.

There’s a knock at the door, gentle but firm, and your heart skips a beat. You don’t respond, hoping maybe they’ll just go away, leaving you to your thoughts. But then you hear Matty’s voice, low and careful, as if he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Hey, kiddo, it’s me,” he starts, his voice carrying a warmth that you’re not used to yet. “I know you probably don’t feel like talking right now, and that’s okay. I just... wanted to check on you, make sure you’re alright.”

You bite your lip, the lump in your throat growing as you try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. The last thing you want is to open that door and face him, or anyone, right now.

“I’m not gonna push you to come out,” Matty continues, his tone gentle, almost soothing. “But if you need anything—literally anything at all—I’m right here. No questions, no judgment. Just... let me know, yeah?”

His words hang in the air, lingering like a promise. You stare at the door, torn between wanting to hide away forever and the small, nagging part of you that wonders if maybe, just maybe, it would be okay to open up a little. To let someone in.

But you stay silent, not ready to face the world yet. After a moment, you hear Matty sigh softly, as if he understands.

“Okay, well... I’m gonna leave some food outside your door, just in case you get hungry. And... we can talk whenever you’re ready. No rush.”

You hear him move away from the door, his footsteps retreating down the hallway. A few minutes later, the soft clink of a plate being set down echoes through the quiet, followed by the sound of Matty walking away.

You finally let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your mind swirling with a mix of relief and sadness. The breakup feels like a weight on your chest, too heavy to carry, and yet there’s a tiny flicker of comfort knowing that someone’s out there, ready to help you bear it if you let them.

But for now, you stay in your cocoon of blankets, trying to figure out how to piece yourself back together before you can face the world again.

—————

You decided enough was enough. You’re weren’t going to get any sleep anytime soon and 

After a brief moment of hesitation, you knocked. You heard a delicate “Come in,” from the both of them. You took a short breath and opened the door.

You were met with your mom in bed, scrolling on her phone, biting her nails, a habit she can’t seem to break, and Matty and the dresser across from the bed putting away laundry or something - you were too preoccupied with your emotions to care or think about it too much. Both sets of eyes softened at the sight of you. Your mother spoke first. “Oh, baby girl.” Opening her arms wide, prompting you to go to her. Matty wasn’t far behind, walking to the other side of the bed. You sobbed into your mother. You didn’t realize you had this many tears left. You didn’t realize that the feeling of ‘heartbreak’ was real. And you certainly didn’t expect to feel it now or in the way.

As your cries settled down, Matty and your mom shared worried glances back and forth. Your mom spoke. Soft but firm.

“Tell us what happened.”

You didn’t move. Just sat still. It felt like time was moving so fast for some reason, yet you were just sitting there. Your mind was completely thrown out of proportion. Especially after today. You spoke, voice more of a whimper than anything. “He got mad.”

Matty and Gabby shared matching looks. “Why?” He asked, finally speaking up.

“I can’t say- it‘s too embarrassing.”

“Did you not hear us every time we said ‘you can tell us anything’? It’s okay, y/n.” He said, rather quickly.

You sighed. “He got mad because I wouldn’t have sex with him.” You admitted through your tears, voice at a whisper.

You felt your mother’s heartbeat quicken. Out of anger or concern, you weren’t sure though. “What?”

“You’re joking.” Matty said, plainly. Neither of them could believe it.

After that you decided to sit up and take a breath. Laying against the headboard, knees to chest, cheeks stained with more tears than the pair had ever seen. Matty and your mother scooted closer to you. His hand on one of your knees, your mothers hand combing through your hair.

You talked quietly. “He kept saying that we’ve been dating for a while, he liked me, he could be with anyone else but he chose me, and he was mad that we had been dating for so long but I didn’t sleep with him.”

The pair couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Especially when they were talking about a teenager.

Your mother spoke up, in full Mom mode now. “Okay, first of all, if your boyfriend tries to make you feel good by saying ‘I could have anyone but I choose you’ you break up with him because you deserve way better than that. Second of all, you are fourteen! You shouldn’t be having sex with anyone!”

“I know! I never did- I swear-”

“I know, I know.” She said,

You sighed, “I don’t know what I could’ve done…”

Matty laughed slightly, “Well, I’ll tell ya, sleeping with someone to make them happy because they‘re frustrated is not the answer. And not at your age. You did the right thing, y/n.”

Your mom nodded, “You set a boundary. You made the responsible choice. He’s a dick and didn’t respect that.”

Your gaze drifted somewhere to the other side of the room. They noticed the way your tinted eyes started to fill with more tears.

“Oh, honey.” You mom said.

This time they both hugged you, engulfing you in a hug between them. You continued to sob for what felt like the millionth time. “This hurts. It really, really hurts.”

They both shared looks of worry. They didn’t know what to do or what to say to make this horrendous pain disappear, which was a first for your mother. Meanwhile all Matty could think to do was hold you tighter as your tears started to soak his shirt. At this point he started to wonder how George got through this part.

—————

You lay between them, asleep. Gabby played a movie on the TV for her and Matty to watch but the both of them never paid attention to it. Instead, just listen to it play in the background while they let you take up their thoughts. This was completely new, absolutely unexpected, and for the first time in a while, your Mom had no clear path or plan on how to help you. She had a few relationships but never have they ended like this. And, even though most if not all of Matty’s breakups were so complicated it would take a 10-page essay to explain all sides in full detail, never once had he cheated on a girlfriend. They were lost. Both of them wanted so desperately to take this pain away from you. You were a well-rounded child. The perfect daughter. The perfect friend. A straight-A student. And handled every ounce of pressure ever put on you like a pro, and every bad situation with grace as if it were second nature.

They just wished you would bounce back easily from this too.

Gabbriettes eyes shifted to the other side of the bed. You were fast asleep, the quiet snores coming from served proof, and neither of them wouldn’t dare to wake you up.

Her eyes finally met Matty’s. He looked lost, exhausted. His fingers mindlessly combed through your hair, gently to not wake you up. Your mom swears her heart grows a size every time she sees the two of you connect, even if it may be something as simple as this. For the short time you both have had, you two have grown a lot.

She doesn’t recognize the look on his face. It’s somewhere between sad and pissed, but she can’t quite place it.

“Whatcha thinking about?” She asks, shifting to sit on her elbows and looking at him.

Her voice takes him out of his thoughts but he doesn’t stop the movement of his hands. “About how I want to murder a child.” He says with a sigh, his gaze still pointed at you. She wants to laugh, but she feels the same way too. “I’m 35 and never have I once actually cheated on a girl. Especially not one as good as y/n. Especially not at fucking 14.”

She sighed and scooted closer. “I know…doesn’t mean you can murder him though.”

He pouted, making her smile.

“I didn’t know teenagers were this brutal.”

She laughed lightly, “Welcome to parenthood.”

He rolled his eyes. She didn’t miss his smile though. A genuine smile.

She continued, “I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. She’s really shaken up.”

Matty thought for a moment. “She has you though. She’ll be good as gold.”

She smiled. “She has us.”

[littlecrittereli]

YOU CANT JUST POST A CHAPTER LIKE THIS AND JUST- ENDED IT LJKE THAT???? WHAT KIND OF CLIFHANGER IS THAT- I AM DYING- HOW AM I GONNA WAIT FOR A FULL WEEK UNTILL THE NEXT CHAPTER SHEJDJZKEJ-

Fr tho i loved this so much thank you and i can see why u liked it alot like when i tell u i imagined everything in great detail like it was the coolest movie ever in my head i freaking did like omg that was one of my favourite chapters in like all of au-

On a second note imma gonna drop my speculations here bcuz i fr wanna yap abt this cuz its just too good i gotta get it outta ny system lol do ignore it since its not imp

So since the 2 figures that talked/made eye contact w martin and aviva has a mask that resembles other wild cats they r working with big d over here im guessing they are either passed out/ been kidnapped by force (for martin in guessing he got drugged) it would be kinda ironic how the falcon that should be aware of everything beside him got drugged. now i think Dora's cousin took those too specifically is 1 aviva is the master mind he can get her(by force obv) to make those prototypes real for martin i think he took him outta revenge since our boy is who threw him out of a plane and he is prolly gonna torture him or hold him hostage untill chris has no more fight than him and finally surrenders or just a cruel joke as chris already has no regard for his life so he took what made him still believe theres hope still just to let him know whos in control bcus this guy has no mercy at all or maybe jimmy comes up clutch and either get chris not to fall somehow or find where aviva and martin are.

AHHHH IM SO GLAD!!!! I HAVE BEEN LOSING MY MIND OVER CHAPTER 7 FOR LIKE 4 WEEKS NOW......and im so glad i finally get to share it beCAUSE SO MUCH CHANGES FOR THE PLOT AND I FINALLY GET TO TALK ABOUT IT HEHEHE Also yes the irony of Martin and his falcon suit... Though I've been hinting since the summary of the fic, (actually long before that, since the beginning of Reprogrammed) but really emphasizing it in Decoded, that Martin has some issues when it comes to taking care of himself. While Chris' complete lack of self preservation is a recent development, Martin's has been taking root since childhood and as such isn't as noticeable. He's the oldest sibling, he's the team leader, he prioritizes others above himself because it's all he's ever known. And while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, he takes it to the extreme and becomes neglectful of himself.

And with Chris needing more support than usual, Martin's self-neglect is becoming more apparent...

I would also like to take this moment to point out ahem... Martin never broke his promise.

Martin squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “He won’t be taking you anywhere, I promise.”  Chris took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before fixing the green gazelle mask over his face. “I trust you.” 

-Decoded Chapter 6

[steeltwigz]

This one goes out to alm the Trophy Heads, we're projecting illness onto Tissues again.

People in the Hotel keep getting mad at Trophy for being A General Displeasure, so as punishment they force him to use his exercise knowledge to make a yoga group activity and he HATES it, he knows too much abt yoga bcuz he knows everything abt every exercise, but he HATES yoga he probably thinks it's lame and girly. But OJ makes him run these or else he takes Trophy's blender privileges away. So, FINE, Trophy runs them. They're not very fun because people think Trophy is too judgemental and rude, but if they can ignore Trophy's critique, the exercise is actually pretty fun. Sometimes they do it in the lobby or in the spa room, but it's probably more common to hold these out in the field where they have the nice warm sun and the eternally perfect weather and more room for everyone. People tend to take these pretty unseriously and will often skip a few sessions, which almost makes Trophy even madder. But there's ONE person who shows up to almost every session, who's never been able to do any proper exercise becuz of chronic fatigue, who is DELIGHTED at the prospect of having some way to feel like he's getting stronger. Tissues shows up to every session, somehow, miraculously. Usually he takes a handful of random decongestants, allergy meds, pain killers, etc. And it does help, a little. He's a bit stronger now for sure, and crazy flexible, though who can say if thats really the yoga or some kind of new symptom. Trophy still hates Tissues AND yoga, but he has to admit that Tissues' determination is impressive and he cant help but feel a bit proud. Just a bit. And he would never ever tell Tissues.

Eventually Candle comes in, Maybe, I Guess. And she starts helping with organizing and adds a meditation segment too. It helps Trophy learn important things about Teamwork, though he kind of detests Candle I think, for her "taking over" his thing. His thing that he Hates, but it's still his. He and Tissues bond over gossiping about her. Tissues thinks her meditation sections are boring and they make him fall asleep. He's here for the GAINS not for the MINDFULNESS !!! Candle knows they do this but she honestly doesn't care at all what Tissues or Trophy think abt her. She thinks they're funny and if anything likes annoying them on purpose. Maybe. Idk that much abt Candle she isnt as easy to project on cuz she has like a more specific and defined personality than Trophy and Tissues. Okayy that's my headcanons brought to you by guy who is sooooo so so sick but wants to b Healthy and is trying so so hard thank you Yoga for everything

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

ah ah ah... im not hiding behind anonymity... im speaking my TRUTH!

i would absolutely love a dylric agere stimboard with cg!eric and agere!dylan 🥲🥲 maybe even with headcanons sprinkled in... as a treat!

tyty moot.. ah ah ah...!

caregiver!eric + little!dylan stimboard

YOURE SUCH A REAL ONE!!!!

i love the yn stuff but i LOVELOVELOVE when its my boys together and i TOTALLY see this

this is a very obvious thing, but i wanna say it anyway, they both definitely keep this sort of thing VERY private between each other and are both embarrassed about it.

eric likes taking care of dylan and dylan likes being taken care of by eric so they both get over it.

i think dylan would definitely draw/doodle random shit in their journals (i know this was a thing already of course but i mean more normal things) and eric would let him draw on his stuff as well.

when they sit together i think dylan would fidget with erics watch. like. hed have his arm laid out in front of him while he messes with it. hed also probably trace over whatever marks he has on his arms.

dylan definitely would watch eric play doom or whatever while he sits next to him - sometimes playing himself, not being particularly good when hes in that headspace, but eric would still tell him hes doing good either way.

a really small thing, but i also like to think about eric ruffling dylans hair and just really like his hair in general.

they also totally fall asleep in bed together and dylan would have his head on erics chest while eric has his arms over him. its a little awkward because of their height difference but they make it work.

the dog theme is bcuz i see dylan as a big dog hehe

cant wait for the haters to come for this one

[decaydanceredacted]

anon who said there should be more william and carden on here- I AGREE!!!!!!

in my head im imagining tai staying at a hotel or something during the recording of santi and everyone else is asleep but carden and bill have been arguing all night about the tracklist and eventually carden gets so fed up with william he drags him back go his room and tosses him on the bed- completely to his surprise. he's seen mike angry but not like this, and it was really turning him on. carden starts undoing his belt and williams sitting on the bed squirming, trying to hide the fact he's extremely hard but once mike takes his shirt off, its painfully obvious. carden says some overly demanding shit like "now strip." and williams head is so fuzzy cuz hes never seen carden like this so he just does it and doesnt make eye contact with carden when he slips his jeans off and undoes the buttons on his shirt. mike climbs on top of william and whispers "im gonna put you in your fucking place." and kisses william hard before slowly moving to his neck. meanwhile william is begging and pleading for mike to fuck him- its pathetic, honestly. carden definitely finds it pathetic bcuz he cant stop degrading william and calling him a slut and a whore and then following it up with "how about we do things my way then, huh?" he slowly pushes his cock into william and its a little uncomfortable at first but feels so fucking good. cardens dick is huge (duh.) and william is moaning and whining "pleasepleaseplease". slurring his words together whenever mike thrusts harder. at some point carden slips a hand around williams throat- which he doesnt mind at all, and does some more degrading. whore, only good for a fuck, stupid brat, you know...the usual. even though cardens being a complete dick, he still makes sure william cums first and god, is it beautiful. william lays there, lips parted, eyes shut, hair a mess, completely fucked out. and then of course mike cums inside of him and stays inside of him for a few seconds before pulling out and pulling the blanket over them, just so its not too awkward considering he just fucked his bandmate. eventually all the weird energy in the room has settled and they slip their boxers back on and william stays the night in cardens room and they spoon all night. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

(sorry this is so long omg help me)

-novocaine anon

.

[kiyocuck]

silly

ok im sick as hell and unfortunately also very bored so im gonna write down some silly naeishimondo scenarios ive been brainrotting for a while

Makoto being sick like me and staying home, meanwhile both taka and mondo barge into his house, bringing in homemade soup and tea (both of which makoto already got), and while they're being sad over the fact their favorite little guy wont be at the academy with them for the rest of the week, komaru steals the soup and tea cuz she woke up sick too (from makoto). An alt ending is them giving makoto a Liiiittle kiss on the forehead, both of them thinking they wont get sick, and waking up with 40°C temperature the next day

Them all going to mondo's house for a hangout-sleepover bcuz hes the only one of the three with a queen-sized bed (lil context, after mondo quit being a biker gang leader [in a universe where daiya is alive cuz fuck you] him and his brother move to a more. "calm" place, just the two of them. they still hangout w the other gang members though). they all watch movies and taka drops dead snoring the second the clock hits 10pm bcuz his brain cant handle staying up later for "no reason" (he has pulled all nighters when it comes to studying). mondo falls asleep second, and makoto just watches them sleep peacefully before snuggling between them and going to sleep too (imagine cringing over what ur writing help)

Going home in the snowy weather after shopping all evening (taka made them both come with him). theyre all holding equal amount of bags, until mondo grabs them all and speedruns to their house cuz hes FREEZING, and boy oh boy does he not like the cold at all. after that he sticks himself to the heater for like 10 minutes, while makoto and taka think to themselves that he looks like hes purring next to it (they both assigned him a catboy in their heads cuz it makes him 10 times cuter (also my version of him has a default >:3 face that all owada family members have (its more noticable on daiya but still))

Continuing the last one, theyre cooking together now!!! mondo kinda sucks at it, makoto is trying his best, and taka is this 🤏 close to chewing a brick over how they cut the vegetables (they look chunky (his autism can't stand it, meanwhile their autisms dont care/dont even notice it (no im not projecting not at all))). eventually they make a nice meal (of unknown kind cuz i can never think of foods LMFAO) and it turned out surprisingly good. yum!

Pet assigning. as i mentioned makoto n taka have assigned mondo a cat/catboy, but the same applies for the others. taka is a dog, obviously, but specifically a husky BECAUSE (im gonna be so annoying about this): Hes black and white, hes dramatic and loud like how huskies are, very loving (as every dog), and when his hair grows out more and mondo touches it, it reminds him of how fluffy huskies' fur is. makoto is a bunny, but i unfortunately dont know many bunny breeds so i will probably elaborate more once i look up and decide. hes just short/"small" and silly like one, and his ahoge going down when hes sad resembles bunny ears going down. (btw if ur curious mondo is either a tiger (still a cat!!!) or a persian cat. bcuz i cant help but imagine him as a chonky orange persian cat that on one occasion scratches your eyes, and on another cuddles on your shoulders. la creatura)

i think thats all for now! most of my other scenarios are even more generic, like going on dates (aquarium, cafe, cinema etc) so i dont have that much to write LOL.

if you read the whole thing, heres some items for yuo 🍀🧭💎

[dumbdolphin3]

OK THIS IS A RANT WITH ZERO PUNCTUATION IN ALL CAPS AND SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL EPS. 1-4!!!!

OK SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THEM AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH ITS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GONNA RANT ABOUT THE CHARACTERS AND THE EPISODES MAYBE IDKKKKK

CHARLIE GIRL YOU ARE SO WHOLEOSME AND I OOVE YOU BUT GODDAMN STOP TAKING PEOPLE’S SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU AHVE TO BE NICE. ALTHOUGH WHEN YOU WENT DEMON FIRM AT VAL FOR FUCKING ABUSING ANGEL HELLLLLL YEAH THATS MY gIRL ILYSM. AND HER FEELING GUILTY FIR EVERYTHING LIEK IT WAS PARTLY YOUR FAULT BUT NO STOP REVEALING MY OWN PROBLEMS TO ME “YOU FIX EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS EXCEPT YOUR OWN” STOP IT HUSK STOP IT.

SPEAKING OF HUSK MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, MY BELOVED. I OOVE THIS WISE OLD BARTENDER. HIM IN THE 4TH EPISODE… AHHHHHHHHH MY HUSKERDUST HEART!!! AND IF HIS AND ALASTOR’S RELATIONSHIP AND PAST DONT GET DEEPLY DIVEN INTO IN THE SHOW I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FUCKING MAKE JY WAY TO FUCKING HEAD WRITER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. AND HIM TAKING CARE OF ANGEL. GET FUCKING MARRIED (JKJK I LOVE A SLOWBURN (SERIOUSLY ATYD TOOK LIKE 70 CHAPTERS AT KEAST FOR FEELINGS TO EVEN HAPPEN)) AND HIM RELATING TI ANGELLLL AND THEIR DUETTTTTT!!!

AND NOW ANGEL. MY GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU VAKENTINO YOU DO NOT GET TO HURT MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER AND JUST EXPECT ME NOT TO BRANDISH MY FUCKING KNOFE JUST BCUZ YOU ARE FICTIONAL AND THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD KILL YOU. I WILL GET A FUCKING ANGELIC WEAPON AND SKEWER YOU. NOW ENLUGH ABOUT THAT SHITHEAD ONTO OMGGGG ANGEL NO ONE CAN BEAT HUSK BUT GODDAMN ILYYYYY HIM AND VAGGIE HAVE A SUBLING RELATIONSHIP AND NO ONE CAN CONVIBCE ME OTHERIWSE. THEY ARE JUDGEMENTAL SHITS WHO HATE EACH OTHER AND WOULD THRIW EACH LTHER IN FRONT OF A CAR BUT WOULD KILL SOMEOBE IF THEY SOMUCH AS LOOKED AT THE OTHER THE WROBG WAY. ALSO IN EPSIDOE 2 HIM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SIR PENTIOUS. YES. AND HIM FEELING LEFT PUT UGHHHHHHH!,!

OK SIR PENTIOUS TIME BCUZ HE IS VOICED BY ALEX BRIGHTMAN AND I AM A FUCKING BEETLEJUICE STAN, AND ALSO A FIZZAROLI STAN (HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TI HELLUVA BOSS AND NO I WILL NOT DEBATE THIS) AND OMG HES SO SILLY HOW DID HE EVER GO TO HELL I CANT HES SO SWEET AND APOLOGETIC. I MEAN HE WAS AN ASSHOLE FOR LIEK TWO MINUTES AND HE DID ONLY APOLOGIZE AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEATEN OUT IF HIM BUT THEN HE SANG A WHOLE SONG WITH CHARLIE AND HES SO SWEET I CANT- ALSO HIS WHOLE THING WITH NIFFTY SPEAKING OF NIFFTY…

I LOVE THIS LITTLE GREMLIN SHE IS PURE COMEDY GOLD AND SHE IS EVERYTHING. SHE HAS PROBABLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ALASTOR AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER. JUST WATCHING “INNICENTLY” WHILE ANGEL PLAYED HIS PORN VID… AND HER AND SIR PENTIOUSSSS “OOH HES A BAD BOY” AND THEN HER WALING IN RIGHT AFTER THE MUSICAL NUMBER BEING LIKE “I HATED THAT YOU’RE NOT A BAD BOY ANYMORE” I LITERALLY LOVE HER SHES SO UNDERRATED!!! AND HUSK JUST REFUSING TO SHARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW SHE IS!!, FUCKING LOVE HER.

ANYWAY VAGGIE AND CHARLIE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE (I HAVE SOME CHAGGIE FANART I MADE I JUST UGHHHH LOVE THEM) AND VAGGIE IS SO SWEET ALSO HER WHOLE THING IN THE 3RD EPISODE WHERE SHE’S KINDA LIKE SHES A GENERAL IN THE MILITARY? I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A POINT FOR THE VAGGIE IS AN EX-EXORCIST (IF THE EXORCISTS ARE STRCTURED LIKE AN ARMY (LOOK AT ME THEORIZING MATPAT WOULD BE PROUD)) ALSO HER BEING READY TO FUCKING KILL ANYONE LOVEEEEEE!!!

UM ANYWAY ITS ALASTOR TIME AND IF ALL THE COMPLEXITIES OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST AREN’T EXPLAINED IN DEPTH I WILL FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY (PROBABLY VALENTINO I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO TAKE A KNIFE AMD-) ANYWAY ALL OF ALASTOR’S MONENTS ARE AMAZING I LOVED THE CALLBACK TO “HA! no” AND HIM AND THE EGG BOIS——— ALSO HIS DUET WITH VOX??? AMAZING AND DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT IT LOW KEY KIND OF SOUNDED LIEK “INSANE” AT SOME PARTS? MY HAZBIN OBESSED MIND ATE THAT SHIT UPPPPP!

WELP THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE MAIN CAST ALSO JUST WANT TO MENTION THAT I LOVE HOW WHEN CHARACTERS SING THEY ARE ACTUALLY SINGING!!! LIKE I LOVE IT WHEN MUSICALS ACKNOWLEDGE THE SONGS IT MAKES ME HAPPY

[br1ghtestlight]

"hello burger lady!! tiny people. BOB."

THE SLOW HEAD TURN WHILE FISCHOEDER IS STARING AT THEM LMAOO he's such a freak. what is he doing

aww linda put a smiley face on the check thats so cute. "nooo i enjoyed it :)"

A BROTHERHOOD?? BLOOD OATH? love how louise hears this and immediately stands up she's like hello. hello im interested. PLEASE let me into your blood oath club mr fischoder

babalon like the ancient uhh. thing.

ooooh :0

(also my dad used to call my mom babalon among MANY other creative insults when they were married and this immediately brought that memory back to me. but he said it like babble-on like she was babbling. sorry idk why i wanted to share that)

"and the other members already picked all of the best chefs in town soo im asking you" i literally dont believe fischoeder lmao he definitely just wanted bob to come along as his personal chef and couldn't come up w/ a better excuse like. come on

"a billion dollars" "nope." "a million dollars" "no...." "a billion dollars :D" "she just said that"

i know bob is holding onto fischoeder's back bcuz he cant see but also its like. kinda intimate?? like?

also love bob's new jacket. these are the kinda things you only notice when you've watched WAAYY too many bob's burgers episodes but its a nice jacket :) the blue color suits him. and it has a hood

personally i would be a little more concerned that mr fischoeder only has one eye and it is NOT looking in the direction of the dangerous sharp cliff theyre walking beside. i know he's driven bob in his boat before but he's SOO BLIND WHY ARE YOU WILLINGLY GETTING IN A BOAT WITH HIM <- saying this as someone who doesn't really have vision in one eye or depth perception. i wouldnt give in a boat with myself driving either

"it was actually kinda fun to come up with!! i-i hope you like it :)" bob is so sweet im gonna cry. he's so excited about cooking SOMEONE LET HIM RANT ABOUT HIS SPECIAL INTEREST RIGHT NOW. he's in autism heaven

NOT THE TIKTOK MENTION 😭😭

recognize some of these guys from the gingerbread house episode which was another horrible experience for bob lmao

"can i keep hiiim? 🥺" what is his PROBLEM

WAS HE WORKING THE OMLETTE STATION AT YOUR LAST SEX PARTY??? <- brand new sentence

also this 100% confirms to me that fischoeder has had sex with every old ass man on this camping trip bcuz NO WAY he's getting rich old woman pussy im sorry. i do think he's bisexual but his sex parties are male-exclusive. he fucked those old men

not looking forward to whatever is going to happen to bob in this episode.

I ALWAYS FORGET FISCHOEDER IS LIKE A HARDCORE DRUG ADDICT remember that time he did mushrooms in s13 That would explain some things. that weren't already explained by the alcoholism

bob is surprisingly chill considering the circumstances and the fact that he's getting less than a thousand dollars of restaurant equipment out of this. i know he trusts fischoeder (for some reason i dont entirely understand) but being blindfolded and taken to a secret island with a bunch of rich old men and having NO CELL SIGNAL and everybody is drugged as hell.... he doesn't even know where he is..... GIRL RUN‼️‼️

also there's only one bed in fischoeder's tent which means there's either a seperate camping section for the chefs (unlikely) he expects bob to sleep outside in the storm (very likely) or bob and fischoeder are going to have to share a bed 👀👀 i know its probably not going to be addressed but i need somebody to write And There Was Only One Bed bob x fischoeder fanfic about this episode immediately. like that needs to happen

bob realizing that the chances of him dying on this camping trip are quickly reaching eighty or ninety percent ooh he's COOKED

"Don't wear brown and black. Never look into someone's eyes..." "Bring your own fork. And briefcase." "Of course. Everyone knows that." "And leave one of your shoes as a gift." "But you have to hide it..." gene and louise are SOO silly i love them so much. they play off each other so well its like a constant improv class

this subplot is Trying To Teach Tina Social Skills meanwhile gene and louise don't have them either they just dont give a fuck about learning them. well louise knows them she just disregards them. gene doesn't know ANYTHING

HAHAHA BOB REALIZING THEYRE LEAVING HIM THERE TO DIE. ITS NEVER BEEN MORE OVER love him not even acknowledging their crazy fire drug-induced dancing he's so used to this bullshit. bob should get a week off after this MINIMUM but we all know he loves cooking too much for that

NOT MR FISCHOEDERS GAY ASS HIP SHAKE?????????

mfw im the only sober person at a crazy drug party full of rich people on an island during a deadly storm and its only Tuesday. 😐

UH OH IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE. BOB REALIZES HES SO FUCKED

aww its kinda cute he's making sure that fischoeder is taken care of too and packing up all their things. dad instincts

at a certain point u kinda have to call him calvin dude. like you're WELL past "mr fischoeder" territory in this situation <- is also calling him mr fischoeder in this review

"shh he's hunting us" is probably NOT what bob wanted to hear

there's something about this that is sooo.....

in defense of bob he has almost died or been killed with fischoeder SEVERAL times before this episode including in the movie. its like a male bonding thing for them at this point

"and i invented a new way to tie a tie" I KNEW I WASNT CRAZY FOR THINKING THAT LOUISES TIE WAS TIED WRONG IN THAT SCREENSHOT i love that i picked up on that and felt the need to point it out. having never worn a tie before in my life (not to my knowledge at least)

this is literally what it feels like when ur autistic and trying to understand neurotypical social conventions. tina is trying SO HARD she's such a sweet girl :( its okay baby girl i understand i get it

THE BITEY GUY HAS A NAME BOB

am i allowed to say that bob with wet hair is kinda 👀👀🔥

why'd he kiss him like that ??

he's suuuch a sweetie in his oversized jacket <3

"No, no. Plants don't like sweet drinks!" "Just hard liquor?"

"dad is missing a WILD night" *hard cut to bob tied up and being used as a human sacrifice for cannibalism*

WHAT WAS RHAT. WHY DID CALVIN LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT. YES IM USING HIS LEGAL FIRST NAME BCUZ WTF WAS THAT GAY ASS GUILTY LOOK?? HES NEVER BEEN GUILTY BEFORE he care so much about bob im gonna throw up. what the hell

HE LIIIKES HIM 😭 HE FELT GUILTY BCUZ HE LOVES AND CARES ABOUT BOB THIS IS SO FUCKED UP 😭😭💕

he probably also feels guilty that this is like the sixth time he's gotten bob into a near death situation. like at a certain point it starts to feel personal yknow

*howling* "god. i hate when he does that"

straight up on the verge of a meltdown. i dont even blame him tbh

bob isnt WRONG but also we are talking about a crazy drugged up cannibal who thinks he's a wild animal so maybe we could leave saving him until tomorrow morning? like idk i feel like he wouldnt exactly fit on their dingy. and even if he did what if he bites

"and you do have to come for ice cream!! it wont be any fun without you" okay thats kinda cute. this episode definitely kept up to pace with the insane homoerotic relationship between bob and fischoeder and im happy about that. almost gave us the tiniest hint into what fischoeder really feels/thinks about bob which. yeah

VERY UNHINGED EPISODE BUT REALLY FUN AND CUTE?? everything between bob and fischoeder was so. soo. yknow. and the subplot was funny and cute too :) very sweet little episode i always love when they go off on adventures like w/ teddy in sea me now. and of course their (many many) near death experiences together thats truly what its all about baby!!! really enjoyed this episode it was exactly the right amount of unhinged and funny

[r0tt3n-gvtz]

all your information came at me so quickly so i couldnt understand any of the words you thought were so clever, whats that gotta do with me??? alone at a subway station, or me alone hiding in basements, trying to avoid the fleeting sense that everyone was leaving.

evvvvverythiiiing you dooo is so dramaaaaaaticccc, its not funny, no ones laughing. and you're so fucking sensitive it hurts me too, but whats that gotta do with me??? absolutely nothing!! so please dont tell me what they think of me. cuz right now you dont care and i dont care until im lying on the floor, and everybody goes through this, can we just get it over with? cuz right now no one fucking cares that i am walking through that door, cuz rhere are cracks between the lines, the type that dont fill up with time

walking to my car from your house never felt so short i cant find my shaking hands or how to turn the wheel without hitting a tree. wish i would faaaaallllllll asleep (bcuz then you'd never see me again!!), but searching for red flags in rose tinted glasses, it never worked out for me.

eeeeverythiiiing you dooooo is so dramaaaaatic, its not funny, no ones laughing. and you're so fucking sensitive it hurts me too, but whats that gotta do with me??? absolutely nothing!!!!! so please dont tell me what they think of me. cuz they dont care and i dont care until im lying on the floor, if everybodys been through this, can we please get it over with???? cuz right now no one fucking cares that i am walking out that door, and there are cracks between the lines, the type that dont fill up with time.

theres a head shaped hole in the wall from when you ran across the room and tried to teach me something about pain that i hadnt learned in high school. you said "i'll partake in all the planned activities, and i'll show up to all your concerts, and i'll listen to your songs before they come out on the web first!!!!" i said "im hqving an outburst cuz i cant stop thinking snout how you felt when i started drinking more and more." you were trapped in baltimore

[kusundei]

im so fucked what the hell. i knew w dr dastvan i KNOW i know you. i know you and im fucked. no because i tried i swear i did and i am trying im sorry im not the same. im not and im sorry ive regressed a bit but isnt the road to recovery not a straight one??? theres always going to be bumps??? i didnt mean to okay. i didnt mean to get THIS bad and i forget i cant just lie my way through this. i keep praying maybe theres something wrong with me that isnt just somehting in my head like shes saying i want it to be and im praying over and over again. maybe there is something wrong w my blood and my health and my heart and its not just me. i didnt mean ro i truly didnt and i dont know why its still happening???

i dont ever really mwan to enable myself ive just made it far too normal. i know and i knew and i acknowledge it all the time but i dont know what keeps preventing me from jsut getting over it and focusing on myself. i know im not eating enough i know im sick i know i can feel it i know i know i know. i dont know why i cant just get yp and do it ESPECIALLY when im hungry. honeslty its so much worse if im not w ajax because i do feel hungry w him but at home ik myself i wouldnt even eat at all i dont think. i know most of it is still fear and i am also just trying to focus on recovery and not be evil ab it and me gaining because if i start acknowledging thay then i will tweak and i will be evil again. i cant do that i jeed to just accept it bcuz my health is important ajd its not likr anything will change ive been 150 for so so long?? more than that too??? i expected to be 160 for the rest of my life not 130. not 127. she keeps going on about how if i lose more weight (intentional or not) i will be sent inpatient. 120 is my evil evil red zone. i had to lie ab passing out i cant confess rhat. theyll be to oevil and irs not eben just them its my mom. i admit it okay maybe i am disordered. maybe the testosterone did sctually decrease my appetite but i got it to this point. i enabled mtself in the way i knew how because it csaw the opportunity and took it. i didnt intend on going this low i told myself 145 just to see. just because i was curious. now look st where i am if ive fucked up everythint ive built so far again it genuinely is so over and its all my fault again. again again again i will never win and im fucked

[sonosvegliato]

hello hello i just wanted to come here and scream abt ur wriiting (again) . but jesus christ man its ben months. literal MONTHS since i read that and i cant even reread it bcuz i get so excited i literally feel ill. i ref ur wriitng a lot when iii write bcuz the way u do is jus?? so wonderful??? esp things like fight or high tension scenes????? i mainly write for fun to reread and all that and i was abt to write some little fight scene thing and realized i could totally ref urs again and felt sick with excitement at the thought of being able to reread it. ty 4 writing sincerely

"Sick with excitement" made me laugh because it gives me the same vibes as when after I wrote my first real College Paper and my college professor asked to see me in her office and sat me down and said reading my writing was like getting hit by a bus. This is a compliment that has lived rent free in my head for YEARS.

I ref'd probably countless people's work in the making of to an athlete dying young, if consuming egregious amounts of fanfiction for a decade and wanting to write something as awesome as Auf Wiedersehen by George Devalier counts as referencing ✨️ (Hetalia babies now grown and riddled with random bits of history information SING OUT.)

THE HIGH TENSION SCENES ARE SOMETHING I VERY SPECIFICALLY WORKED ON SO I AM SO GLAD THEY ACTUALLY APPEAR SUCCESSFUL.

Ty for such a lovely comment, sincerely. Stay fresh my guy and I hope you write something dope. With all my love ✌️