#NIGGA YOU ARE UNMARRIED | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackrosesfanfic · 4 years ago

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Chapter 233

Trey

We gonna try this whole marriage thing over again. I feel like it's me. I'm the one unhappy with things. I'm the one with secrets. I'm the one fucking up. I'm the one that needs to change. Everyone is sitting around talking. I stand in front of Cammie as she talks. I sit the phone down on her lap.

"What's this?" She says picking it up and examining the phone. "This is your phone, Tremaine?"

"Yeah."

Cammie looks over at MeMe who had her lips turned up. "I've never seen this fucking phone before."

"Bruh?" Chris says standing up like he wanted to run across the room and take the phone. "Why?"

"Why do you have a third phone?" Cammie snaps handing the phone to Alex who had came over.

I suck my teeth. "Why you give it to her?"

"Why the fuck did you give it to her?" Chris snaps motioning to me dramatically.

"Makes you scared? Where your extra phone?" Rollie laughs.

"Don't you watch TV?" Marco asks. "That man ain't a good cheater. He does it from the same phone."

They share a laugh together. I look from them at Cammie. She had stood up and was now walking away. I don't know who had the phone. I just sit down. Rollie stands up from his seat.

"You got to be the dumbest motherfucker I know. Why not just throw the phone away? Crush it up? Blend it?" Rollie asks.

"That wouldn't have solved nothing." I say.

Chris sucks his teeth. "Why didn't you talk to us about this first?"

I get pissed off. "I don't need to talk to every fucking body all the time about my shit."

"Clearly you fucking do. I would have told your ass not to do it."

"Damn I thought we were making progress." Rollie snaps walking away.

Chris walks away in the other direction. Why are they even mad about the shit? It's not like I did it without thinking about what I was doing. I get up then roam around the house looking for one of my boys. Of course I run into Lane first.

"Daddy?"

"What's up, son?"

He had a pacifier. He sticks it in his mouth. Oh man. I don't want to go backwards and we start worrying about getting rid of a pacifier. I grab the pacifier out of his mouth. He turns around to the table behind him and start opening something. I walk over to him. He is taking a pacifier out of a pack. I take the pack before he could get it out.

"No." I say.

"I baby."

"No you not a baby."

He laughs then he starts crawling around the floor. I put the pacifiers out of his reach. He continues crawling around the floor fake crying. I grab his hand and stand him up off the floor. I start walking back outside.

"Daddy?"

"What?"

He starts dragging his feet. "I go to grandma?"

I stop walking to look at his face. He was seconds away from fucking tears. Does he think he's in trouble? I pick him up and kiss his cheek. He continues with his pouting. I put him down.

"Go ahead." I say nicely.

He stares at me for a few seconds. I just wanted to bond with you son. He runs back to where he was but going into the room. I follow behind him to see what he has to say to his grandma. It's Gwen that he goes to. She is folding up clothes on the bed.

"I told you to be a big boy." She says.

"I baby." Lane says leaning in her lap.

She hits him with something she had folded. He smiles really big then starts fake crying. She chuckles then lifts him up in her arms as if he were a baby.

"Hey." I say walking into the room.

"You seem to go through a lot of moods in a day. Sit down. How are you feeling?"

I notice Caden behind the folded clothes sleep. "I'm fine."

She gestures to a spot on the bed. "You look like you are back to the mood from the car ride." She says ignoring my comment. "Young marriages are very hard. Those first years of realizing you are one with someone and learning to cope. Very easy to forget what's important."

"What's important?"

"That you found someone you want to always have in your life."

I sit down. "Not the commitment?"

"Who cares about commitment? You don't have to commit if you never forget why you in the marriage. It was never to commit. Why did you get married, Tremaine? Was it so you can be faithful? I hope you already were. Cause a ring don't make a man keep his penis in his pants."

"I got married..." I stop.

She lets Lane slide to the floor. He laughs really hard as he lands on the floor by her feet. She smiles.

"You don't know why you got married?"

"Everything just happened."

She sighs. "For the kids?"

"I mean Caden wasn't a factor."

"Lane, are you grandma's big boy?" She says like she angry.

He laughs. "Baby. I your baby. Grandma baby."

"I feel like we going backwards all the time. We can never get to a happy place. I know it's me though."

"Cammie is hiding from her past. She is good at pressuring others to take blame for her life. Her father was the same way. Stubborn. I believe in divorce. But I don't believe in giving up because you not happy. Happiness is conditional, love is unconditional. A marriage is unconditional. No matter what you going through a marriage can survive. Cause it's about never giving up on a bond. Never letting go."

I stare at her. "I always thought you would have bad advice."

She giggles. "Why would you think that?"

"Cause you and Cammie don't get along. I thought it was because of you."

"That's why I'm here, to find out what I missed. What happened that I should have been watching for."

I shrug. "Maybe the reason she wanted to change schools."

"Because we made her pick something beside dance."

"Maybe you should talk to her about why you made her do Chemistry."

"She picked her major." Gwen says offended.

I lay back on her folded clothes. "Hmm?"

She hits me. "Don't be like your son. Move."

I chuckle at how much she sounded like Cammie. I glance at her face before I move to sit up. Yeap. Same expression as Cammie. I know why I married her. Cause she required it and I wanted her. To get her I had to marry her. Now to figure out how to keep her. What do I need to do?

Cammie

"Part of me don't want to even know." I say kicking sand.

"I want to know everything." Alex says.

Hidia takes the phone from Alex. "No. There is no reason for you to know when she doesn't. You know how this family is. You will get mad and throw it in her face. Plus you don't need to know what Trey's penis looks like."

I twist around looking at her. "Who says his penis is in that phone?"

"Girl you know it is. Men send dick pictures. Forrest being one of those men and probably doing as he learned from his brother. So you know his dick is all in this phone."

"Ugh." I snap falling back in the sand. "I'm just going to go fall in the ocean."

Alex sucks her teeth. "Don't talk like that when your husband is dealing with suicidal thoughts. That's insensitive. Bae, you do have the truth right here in your hand. Do women not require that? Like do we not want this?"

"You don't." Rollie snaps fighting Hidia for the phone.

"Who invited you?" Alex asks.

"I'm with Rollie on this, Bae. That phone ain't what you want to look at. You know it's full of shit to make you mad. Dick pics, text messages, even worse sexting. Like Bae, no. We moving toward."

I shake my head. "That's the second time I heard dick pictures. Give it here."

Rollie punches the phone shattering it. "If you want to stay married to this nigga no. He turned in his lying ass deceitful shit. He telling you he not doing it no more. He getting rid of numbers that mean nothing to him. He letting go of these wide open bitches that don't even offer comfort when he sad. Who cares what he sent them?"

"What if it comes up? Your man sent this to me. Or some shit like that. I could have already known."

"It's gonna come up. Be prepared. This your warning. Alex's friend is one of those bitches so I know you gonna hear it."

"My friend?" Alex snaps. "Not fucking Jewels. Only fucking friend... unmarried friend I got."

Rollie makes a face. "Oh maybe it was MiMi cousin."

"Worst Rollie!" I scream.

"Naw I said it right the first time. I'll tell you how he picks girls up. He texts them his location. Multiple random ass numbers in his phone which he has by state. Whoever shows up shows up. He don't even know half the time. Bitch be drunk as shit. If someone wants proof they get a video call. Dick pictures are played out. This what you want to hear? That's what you want to see?" Rollie walks towards me then he suddenly skips sideways and toss the phone into the ocean. "Go get it then. You got about 5 seconds before water get to the memory."

I suck my teeth staring out into the water. "That was childish."

"I can go punch your husband and throw him into the damn water just like the phone. Mexico will help."

"Don't do that Rollie." I spat.

Rollie grabs me. "Because he been through enough? Stop talking to these failed at every relationship as bitches and go talk to your husband. Let his bitch ass know where he can find his phone. And let him know I will help him find it."

"Rollie stop!" I yell as he lifts me up.

"I'm not fucking playing with you. Act like you want this marriage. Fight for it with your husband not these baldheaded hoodrats with daddy issues."

Alex does something to Rollie making him fall over on me. He snatches me back off of the sand then turns around to Alex. She screams. I dust myself off. I part of me wanted to look through that phone and hate my husband but he already told me what he did. We already fussed about this. And I was the one that fussed at him about not telling me before it came out in blogs. We can't keep fussing about the same fight over and over. I do love him. I don't want to leave him. I don't want Rollie to be right.

"You bitch." Alex screams fighting Rollie.

"Shit ain't change little girl." Rollie barks.

I grab Rollie letting her get up. She jumps up and charge at him. I laugh when he throws both of us on the ground. He stands up and starts acting like King Kong. Bitch ass. I am not getting thrown in the water. I push Alex into him and walk away.

"I tried."

"Girl, stop rolling around like your ass ain't pregnant." Hidia snaps.

Rollie stops. "Pregnant?"

"Thanks big mouth." Alex says storming away.

"Where my uncle at? Better yet my gossiping mama."

I chuckle. "Rollie stop. The father doesn't know."

"Which father?" Rollie laughs. "Thank you, Universal! Karma, Bae."

"Fuck you." Alex yells.

Rollie laughs. "Yeah."

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johnowner47-blog · 5 years ago

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The kiss room owner eats kibangun? That is Kebakke. There are ample small ventures hold hands at all, and some purchasers collaborate with John and the owners, but they don't last long. Kibangun and the head owner or chief have a wreck, or maybe kibangun has any accident, so many of the shops are closed. Generally there are many of organisations run poorly like amateurs, so Kibang usually has plentiful amounts of idiots, so Kibang is commonly cracked down with him. The commonest sort of complaints is the ones who're missing from Kibangun, aka romance, and the two of them have only met her. Essential loads, but the fine is 70 to 200 He gets charged three times and gets convicted of the final manager. They have actually a boyfriend more than 90% regardless of girls. When he goes out, he cosplays with his ordinary boyfriend. He knows he'can be quite a prostitute. When I start playing with buddies, I am allowed treated with low cost, so I seems to be of consumers with me. That's why generally there are many of hungry niggas who know that when their girlfriends say, yeah, they're self-employed. What's your offspring? Kibangun is looking towards spawns. There's hardly any keybanger policies you can make, but it's more profitable to earn prostitute with just the one person. So many of the years when they returned offered find four weeks or two were spawned. Your visitors in the property are probably the most average people in their 30s. Most of the time there are a lot of of rosies caught up kiss room, together with the kissrooms in their 30s are known as the cleanest and most normal-looking guys. In their 20s, there are a lot of babies who really need start out their panties and also sex with them.Actually, they are frequently forced to tear down their panties if in their 20s. Selfish customer, I make cash and earn money. In the mobile shop, I yell at consumer and cosplay to my boyfriend outside, I'm treated to the overall woman, and honestly, I haven't any mentally embedded years in the key girl. Even though he thought he would save more cash quickly, he would fight t cope with the fuckin's. The usual and defense of the extent was weak. Days with few businesses or employees Choice (Ought not to be crowded Managers have an opportunity to buy it) Unmarried of labor When people are getting wet, it's good to be washed right away and just have the physical strength to seek out Hong Kong. I don't need to investigate. (At least I'll visualize it a few times. Don't touch large number, don't like it more often than not, catch a deep breath, even if you aren't getting hot Don't touch hard, touch the pussy on the panties lightly, rest for quite some time now, after which touch your hair. Make me feel comfortable. Try to be tuned in to the someone you really love, for example world, etc. Again, kiss your heart as your improve pussy up together with your wrist and press your power in just a pattern. Now it is time to begin the process of the bra since it's uncomfortable to touch the nipple before touching the nipple, gently sweep it along with your fingertips and stroking it together with your fingertips. . Gently touch and keep your jig on the speed of light. Perhaps, the lychee comes out. A loverless there is bound to go out or is inherently wanting water

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whateveryourtruthis · 6 years ago

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What if you were nice to yourself all the time

Unconditionally.

All the niggas who was “just doing them”

what if you became that

not at the expense of others

but choosing yourself instead of pleasing everyone

you 20-something year old unmarried, childless women

you only belong to you

as it turns out

that is a full time job

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newssplashy · 6 years ago

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Juliet Ibrahim: Actress wants you all to stop pressuring people to get married

For those who keep questioning the marital status of unmarried people, Juliet Ibrahim has a message for you all.

Juliet Ibrahim might be speaking not just for herself but for a lot of people who are under pressure to get married as she wants you all to stop giving them sleepless nights.

The beautiful actress made this known via her Instagram page on Sunday, August 6, 2018. According to her, the pressure to get married should be stopped by people.

"Stop this habit of asking people to get married because their age-mates are married. Even you, some of your age mates have died but nobody has asked you to die. ‍♀️ , " she wrote.

Hmmm...maybe Juliet Ibrahim might be getting pressure from friends and family to get married or she was just speaking on behalf of 'Pressured Singles.' If you've taken a close look at Juliet's social media messages lately, you will notice she has become more of a relationship expert or sometimes she just writes like she is shaking some tables.

ALSO READ: Juliet Ibrahim says she bought her 1st house when she was 29-years-old

Juliet Ibrahim thinks opposite sex bestie is another route to becoming a side piece

Some few months ago, said having an opposite-sex bestie is another route to becoming a side chic/nigga. The beautiful actress made this known on her Instagram page on Thursday, May 31, 2018, where dealt extensively on the ever-controversial topic of having an opposite sex as a bestie.

"#OpenGistWithJuliet #TapForDetails. I have been discussing this topic with my friends and I thought I’ll share with you. I told my friends that I believe in most cases; opposite-sex besties are decoy names for side chicks or side niggas. In the sense that; most of these besties secretly have a crush on each other and are just waiting for the right time to be the one to come to the rescue or be the shoulder to lean on. Or, maybe they had a thing once or twice before and decided to just stay friends. What do y’all think" she wrote.

Juliet Ibrahim says maybe Eve didn't eat the forbidden fruit in the bible

Lol! Juliet Ibrahim never seizes to make us laugh with the kind of things she says with the latest being that Eve might not have eaten the forbidden fruit in the bible.

The gorgeous actress said this on her Instagram page on Friday, June 8, 2018, where she raised her doubt over the biblical theory.

"The way men lie, I’m beginning to think poor Eve didn’t eat the forbidden fruit first," she said. There you have it, Juliet thinks men lie a lot and we are wondering where she got the idea from.

source http://www.newssplashy.com/2018/08/juliet-ibrahim-actress-wants-you-all-to.html

#News

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ahmerjohnny-blog · 7 years ago

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Whatsapp Status Love

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Whatsapp Status Love

Today We are Sharing an amazing collection with you about Whatsapp Status Love. Whatsapp is an instant social app for Smartphones like Android and iPhone. Nowadays Everyone Installed Whatsapp app on their smartphones. All of you love to change Whatsapp Status Love on daily basis. Today, We are sharing an awesome collection of Whatsapp Status Love for you. So Check This Beautiful Collection of Whatsapp Status Love And Give us Feedback about Whatsapp Status Love Collection

Whatsapp is the app which was used by the people in the whole world especially Young Generation to share instant messages, photos, Videos and Files with friends and family. Whatsapp is the fantastic app because of Whatsapp Status feature you can share your feelings with your loved ones. That’s why we have arranged the beautiful collection of Whatsapp status Love which is given below.

Whatsapp Status About Love (Whatsapp Status Love)

The overall wide variety of advertisements I watch earlier than online movies is more or less identical to the whole number of advertisements I USED to look at on television.

Being tough is simple. Being susceptible is tough.

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Things you can not recover in lifestyles: the word after its stated, the moment after its ignored, and the TIME after its long gone.

Supply thanks for a touch and you’ll find plenty.

Be formidable to own your errors in lifestyles, receive your faults and improve your character.

A few humans change your life, then leave without rationalization…

Read: Funny Friend Quotes Beautiful Collection

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Smile and permit all of us to know that nowadays, you’re plenty stronger than you have been the previous day.

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You need to be with a person who does not make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing in which you stand with them.

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Every person shows greater love and care at the beginning of any courting, however, no one continues it until the closing.

You couldn’t stay an effective life with poor thoughts.

Love Status Whatsapp (Whatsapp Status Love)

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You can consider no one, You can not even accept as true with this nigga inside the blue blouse, He got a female friend and a boyfriend and an own family.

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Live each day like it is like the final.

Even try anything to do with the character.

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Some promises are usually unbroken, some recollections are usually unwritten, feel the magic of authentic relation and you’ll recognize that authentic feelings are usually unspoken…

You deserve to be with a person who does not make you compete for his or her affection and in no way have you guessing where you stand with them

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Just due to the fact I disagree with you on something would not suggest I like or appreciate you any less, you ain’t constantly gonna agree with humans you meet.

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True love is when you can’t describe in phrases what you like about him.

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Whatsapp Status on Love (Whatsapp Status Love)

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Read: Baby Boy Quotes Awesome Collection For Mommy And Daddy

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The ache by no means depart Us

attention is to drama as oxygen is to fire.

True love isn’t Romeo and Juliet who died together, it is grandma and grandpa who grew old collectively.

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Must Read: I Love You So Much Quotes Best Collection For True Lovers

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I understand my silence and my tears will heal my pain at some point.

Lifestyles isn’t a remember of milestones, but a moment.

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Take every risk you get in existence, due to the fact some things only manifest once.

Some people want to open their small minds in preference to their massive mouths.

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The top-notch pride in existence is doing what people say you cannot do.

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Lifestyles isn’t continually sunshine and butterflies. once in a while to procure to learn to smile through the pain.

Distance is just a take a look at to peer how far True Love can tour.

Read: I Miss You Quotes For Him Updated Collection

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After all, all of us are testimonies in the long run.

Money can’t purchase happiness, however, it could steal someone else.

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In case you’re in a horrific state of affairs, do not worry it’ll alternate. if you’re in a good scenario, don’t worry it’s going to alternate.

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A real buddy is the only who sees your pain in spite of your smile.

Everybody indicates extra love and care within the starting of any relationship, however, nobody maintains it till the closing?

You need to be with someone who does not make you compete for his or her affection and never has you guessing in which you stand with them

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Read: Sad Quotes About Love That Make You Cry

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Do not attempt to trade people, just love them for what they are!

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The total wide variety of classified ads I watch before online videos are roughly equal to the entire number of advertisements I USED to observe on television.

Being difficult is straightforward. Being susceptible is tough.

Every so often you can come to be dropping your self-seeking to preserve onto a person who does not care approximately dropping you.

Terrible selections grow to be good stories.

Three Words you can’t get better in existence: the phrase after its stated, the moment after its overlooked, and the TIME after its gone.

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Be formidable to own your errors in existence, take delivery of your faults and improve your character.

A few people alternate your existence, then depart without clarification…

Simply don’t forget, a person loves the entirety you hate yourself.

It’s hard to overlook a person who gave you a lot to take into account…

Smile and permit everybody to understand that nowadays, you’re a lot stronger than you were the day past.

Exact instances grow to be properly memories and terrible times become desirable lessons.

You need to be with someone who doesn’t make you compete for his or her affection and by no means have you guessing where you stand with them.

Check Also: Awesome Quotes About Losing Friends That Make You Cry

Just due to the fact I disagree with you on something does not imply I love or appreciate you any much less, you ain’t constantly gonna agree with humans you meet.

I do no longer like the guy who squanders lifestyles for reputation; supply me the man who residing makes a call.

Don’t attempt to exchange humans, simply love them for what they’re.

All and sundry suggests extra love and care within the starting of any relationship, however, no person maintains it until the last.

You may stay a wonderful lifestyle with a poor mind.

Life isn’t always a hassle to be solved. but a reality to be experienced.

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Take each chance you get in life, due to the fact a few things simplest show up as soon as.

Someday your existence will flash before your eyes. make sure it’s really worth watching.

The individual that makes you happiest is also the individual that can harm you the maximum.

Some humans want to open their small minds in preference to their massive mouths.

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Don’t examine your existence to others, you have no concept what their adventure is set.

You need to be with someone who doesn’t make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing where you stand with them

Dishonest isn’t a twist of fate. Falling off a bike is a coincidence. You don’t just experience and fall into a person’s vagina.

You are responsible for your personal Happiness. if you assume Others to make you happy, probabilities are you’ll always end up dissatisfied.

Why are human beings so opposed to status stalker? We’re all here for the same purpose, to steal people’s ideas and fake they’re our own. We were given something in common. stop being assholes lol

Pricey iTunes and Adobe, would it not now not be extra time green to simply tell us whilst you aren’t updating?

Check: Im Sorry Quotes Beautiful Collection For Your Loved Ones

Colours of the leaf adjustments with time, equal are with humans.

While you need to give up bear in mind why you commenced.

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itsallinmeee-blog · 7 years ago

Text

The Perfect Family

A husband sits with his arm around his wife. He is handsome, works out, very daddy-ish. The wife has such a perfect waist and body and her face looks is so young and vibrant you didn’t assume the three kids running around were hers. The oldest is ten and the other two are spaced out evenly enough in age under him. And if the oldest is 10, that means the wife is 40 plus, because she waited until the perect age (after 30) to start having kids. Her skin is so vibrant, well moisturized and wrinkle free because that’s not some baby daddy with his arm around her, it’s her husband. The one father of every kid she ever conceived in her womb, and he doesn’t stress her out at all. He’s never going to ‘leave her with all those kids by herself’, so they don’t have anything at all to argue about. And he’s an ideal father figure and partner in every aspect. You know that because he knew to make her a wife and not just another baby’s mama. Duh. Her degree(s) are on the wall and she had her six figure income-making career before she sat down and had some damn children. A real Proverb’s 31 Woman.

I grew up something like that, actually. My mother had graduated college and married my father and even waited years before she had her first child. My father had also graduated college and found himself working a good ol’ government job so hard that my mother was afforded the opportunity to stay home and raise some babies, all with the same daddy. Some babies she had at 28 and 30 years old. Set up for perfection, right? Now we weren’t rich and this story ended up taking a million turns before I turned 18; jobs lost, new careers started, jobs lost, moves out of state, business started, businesses failed. Hell, LIFE happened to my parents as I watched closely.

I watched my mother as a stay-at-home mom at first, teaching me Spanish and how to count and spell. Really pouring all she could into me. When my paternal grandmother got sick, she took care of her as well. Me, my brother and my nana. And when my daddy lost his government job she got up and found two of her own, and kept every light on and faucet running by her damn self. You literally could not ask for or find a better woman. But we all know, that won’t stop a nigga from trying. I saw my mother go through things inside and greet the world with a smile, pleasant attitude and godly aura, regardless. I watched her forgive, forgive, forgive. Give, give, give. Love, love, love and when I turned 18, I watched her lose it all and start from ground 0.

She built herself up again, kept it together and moved on, as real women do. She didn’t clown him on Facebook or go slut it out to catch up on all she had missed out on, spending 23 years being faithful to some man. She found God, rebuilt her foundation, and moved on. Now maybe there’s some big fabulous and amazing blessing waiting for her on the other side. Maybe the blessing was not allowing herself to be held back and dragged down by that ‘some man’ any longer. Maybe the blessings are the two could-be-better kids that came out of the marriage… Or maybe the lesson was for me.

“Don’t waste your life and all your good years trying to be a good woman to some fucking man.”

Got it.

Many of my friends didn’t grow up with a two parent household. For instance, I was talking to my first cousin once we had grown up and become friends. She was an only child with the mom that wanted to dress alike all the time. Ummm, where do I sign up? Where she saw a father figure in the home and a friend to play with, I saw a live in year-round Scrooge and a personal boy face-ass nuisance after I specifically asked for a sister. The grass really always looks greener. My children-of-divorce friends always bragged about getting “two Christmases” etc. because they split holidays between their parents (omg, so cool). Having two rooms filled with toys. A ‘mama’s house’ and ‘daddy’s house’ and I’m just listening, picturing the two biggest toy filled rooms I could imagine. Best of all, for them, I know they probably didn’t see some of the things I saw a man do. Eventually I saw the difference between the kids that longed for two parent homes and (some of) those of us in them that knew better.

Around the age of 19 something happened to my ego. I went from longing for things I didn’t think I deserved to understanding that nothing and no one deserved me, the way my father or no man I had known deserved my beautiful, brilliant, talented, educated, dedicated, loyal, hard-working mother. I realized that I was the prize, the gift, the table and the house the table was in. I was IT and women probably never raised the type of men that deserved a goddess like me ever before. And if they did, they damn sure hadn’t in the last 20 or so years. So I wasn’t looking for a damn husband. A man was not about to feel like he owned me, ever. And damn sure not so he could throw me away when he was done... I was nobody’s property and I was going to do any and all of the leaving, when I saw fit. I lost my will to fight for love and I wasn’t on the search for a life partner and that was just it. I told myself that even if I got married, I would always be prepared to leave or be left at the drop of a dime. Because I went off to college one semester and came home to divorced parents. I went off the next semester and came home to my father telling me this was not my home anymore, while standing in front of some crow faced bitch. Okay? So the lesson there was things can change at the drops of dimes and you’ve got to be ready to change with them. I found my lane and this was it. They call us free spirits.

Hoes. Free spirit became synonymous with hoe and if your spirit is truly free that’s some laughable shit. Free spirit to me means, I wore mascara and bold eyeliner today with a sleek bun and business attire. Maybe I had a meeting, maybe I was just feeling like Joan Clayton from Girlfriends. Tomorrow I may feel like Solange or Kelis. This month I might feel like Solange and opt for a natual brow. And natural legs and armpits, too (I don’t know if she shaves or not). I might have my home girl sew some hair in and it might be fire red. I might cut all of it off and go blonde (just the ends, though). Really, whatever. I am a free. I invest in the people I spend time with. I am a listening ear, soundboard, friend, confidante, companion. Mother. My loyalty is to myself so it does not blind my decision making. Once you are causing me more harm than all this good I am giving to you, I will be gone like the wind. I live gone like the wind. Never really in one place in the first place. Always on the way somewhere else. I didn’t even put titles on our time here, so there were no questions to be asked or arguments to be had once I decide to go. I owed no one anything and wasn’t passing around my collection plate, either. I was FREE.

In a partner I wasn’t necessarily looking for anything, but I knew how it should feel. That’s how I got the most out of situations; allowing things to be what and who they are and growing into what or who it will be. I certainly wasn’t looking for a husband but I managed to have never dated, entertained or courted a man I did not know would be a great father. Compassion, empathy, dedication. Always the sons of divorced parents. I was blessed enough to connect more than once with someone that understood one of the most valuable and rewarding experiences in adulting was in being a good parent; responsible in my decision making, loving, caring, respectful of our child’s parent.

In a partner I wasn’t necessarily looking for anything, but I knew how it should feel. That’s how I got the most out of situations; allowing things to be what and who they are and growing into what or who it will be. I certainly wasn’t looking for a husband but I managed to have never dated, entertained or courted a man I did not know would be a great father. Compassion, empathy, dedication. All sons of divorced parents. I was blessed enough to connect more than once with someone that understood one of the most valuable and rewarding experiences in adulting was in being a good parent; responsible in my decision making, loving, caring, respectful of their child’s mothers. I could pick a good future father out better than Safaree can spot plastic surgery. Trust me, I knew.

But I noticed, even before I was a baby mother, that people get shamed out of wanting what they really want in a family. People shame pregnant women the whole nine months if they’re doing it alone, and shame their baby daddy’s with them if they’re not their husband. I can remember being in church at a service where a young woman was having her baby christened. The minister asked her to introduce everyone to the congregation. She got on the mic “my aunt, my mom... and her father” Safe. “Your what?” asked the minister. Hmmmmmm what you doin, lady? She said: HER. FATHER. “My daughter’s father?” She said “Your what?” again. “He’s not your husband, is he?” And I think it was in that moment that I decided I just did not want the marriage thing. A man unmarried was selfish and living, but the woman was unwanted and unclean. Unreal. My rebellion and the clouds of opinions I allowed to shape my own desires is the only reason I feel like I don’t have the perfect Proud Baby Mama story, but at the very least I have a daughter that gets all the love I wanted.

Mission accomplished.

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blackrosesfanfic · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 229

Amber

I laugh and eat some of the grapes I went and got from the table. Men don't like to come around when women are together talking. They assume when we are alone we share dick and period stories. I mean it's true but there's other things as well. The door opens. We all stop laughing and look at the door. I jump up.

"What's wrong?" I ask Cammie as she walks in.

"I..." she just shakes her head.

I hug her. "Okay, you don't have to talk about it."

Alex comes over. "Do me and Hidia have to kick someone's ass?"

"Maybe no one in here is in the best condition to whip any ass." Fadiya giggles.

"Yeah, well, maybe not." Alex says hugging Cammie. "Okay, bitch, perk up cause you not unmarried possibly pregnant by your ex's baby brother, unmarried pregnant by who fucking knows until you figure out how far a fucking long you are, married and just stupid as fucking because now you considering moving out of the fucking country cause your bitch ass husband likes Mexico, or unmarried and dating one of the richest jackasses on the fucking planet with a jacked up past and a heavy as engagement ring."

Cammie frowns and spins around the room. "Wait what? Who? What? Richest jackass? Amber?"

"Yeah, that one was mine." I wave my engagement ring.

"You moving to fucking Mexico?" Cammie snaps looking at Hidia. "All yall bitches not pregnant."

Alex eats a frittata. "I hate eggs."

We look at her. Fadiya sucks her teeth. "Stop eating them things before you have high blood pressure."

"Everybody is fucking crazy." Cammie says. "I'm not fucking pregnant but my fucking husband thinks it's okay to kill himself and not okay to talk about me possibly dying an accidental death. Me of all people don't understand what drugs can do to your life."

Everybody kinda goes silent. The door opens relieving everyone from their deep thoughts. It was MiMi carrying her baby.

"I go to breakfast and I'm told the women all left the table. I'm like damn you can't keep your women in check through fucking breakfast?"

"And Chris had something to say?" Alex nods.

MiMi nods. "Of course. Cammie what happened with your breakfast?"

Cammie shrugs. "I left out. I didn't..."

"No ma'am." MiMi snaps scaring the baby. "You need to take your spoiled ass back in there. You know your fucking pathetic ass husband can't do shit without you. Talk about his true feelings to a therapist and his mother?"

"I know."

"Okay, this is bigger than you. You know that."

Cammie sighs. "Yeah. I don't want to be in here with them anyway. You shouldn't stay."

"Why not?"

"Cause they all taking pregnancy test. I mean unless you got something you want to share."

MiMi makes her eyes big. "Don't fucking go there. Do you not see this fucking 7 month old in my fucking arms. Hey, Baby. Mama Cammie can't see you."

Cammie takes her from MiMi. "I see you, pretty girl."

"Yes, take that drama. We got too much as it is." I say waving my hand.

"Girl, why the hell Amber in here?" MiMi whispers to Cammie.

"I don't know, just go. It might be in the air." Cammie says shutting the door.

I laugh. "Bye, sluts."

Alex bangs her head on the bed. "Oh my gosh. That shit winking at me. It has a face on it!"

"Pregnant." Hidia giggles.

"So that means mine is ready." I say going into the bathroom. I turn right back around. "You guys I don't know what I want this thing to say. Just last month I was happy he had a daughter and wouldn't be asking me cause I didn't want to do this shit. I'm going to be the mistake who got pregnant. Oh shit. By the richest jackass in the world."

Fadiya sucks her teeth. "Don't do that to Chris. He is very sweet. He took time out of his busy life to do this for his friends and not ask nobody to pay nothing. He deserves for us to support something. Go look at your damn test."

"Yeah." I nod turning around.

"Pregnant." Hidia says from behind me.

My heart drops. "Fuck."

"You so damn happy check yours." Alex snaps. "You get pregnant in multiples. You fucking pregnant by association."

"If I'm pregnant we not moving to Mexico and we probably gonna fucking fight about that."

"Not fist fight though." I ask.

Alex looks at me. "We should be asking you that."

I suck my teeth. "Chris has been sober for months. Before we got together. He knows that's one thing I don't fucking play with and besides I'm not a psycho bitch. I mean. Most times I'm not. Anyway he doesn't hit me, shake me, or nothing."

"Not even if you ask?" Alex says seductively.

"You are like the spawn of Chucky." I snap.

She slides on the floor. "I might be having Chucky fucking baby. At least it might have cute red nigga hair."

I laugh. "Shut up. Hidia what does yours say?"

"I did two." She says walking across the room. "This shit is… who peed on these?"

"Bitch!" Alex yells. "You are fucking lying. There is no way."

Hidia smiles. "I'm just kidding. If I am pregnant it won't pick it up for a few weeks. Mine just went off days ago."

"You sick. So who going out there to tell their man now?" Fadiya asks.

"Why didn't you take one?" I ask Fadiya.

She stands up and holds her shirt up. "It's a bit late to second guess this. It's a boy."

I cover my mouth. "Oh my gosh. He knows?"

"My ex? No. His brother? Yes." She sighs. "Like I said I'm back in Chicago with my parents away from my ex. Away from Houston."

"You not with the father?"

She sighs. "He wants to be with me but... it was a fucking mistake. Getting into a relationship with the fucking brother of the man who broke my heart 2 years ago? That's fucking..."

"Girl, shut up. You having this man baby." Hidia says. "Be happy. Family reunions are already gonna be awkward. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, and shit. That man cheated on you with your fucking gay friend."

"No..." I cover my mouth.

Alex sucks her teeth. "Yall selfish. What yall need to do is find me an abortion clinic."

"Fuck no." Hidia says.

"Why?" I ask.

Alex sits up. "Have you seen my mothering abilities?"

"No." I shrug.

"Exactly." She nods. "No one has cause they are yet to exist."

"Bitch cause you not a mother." Hidia snaps. "You fucking stupid. I'm going to tell that man right now. Anyone else need me to break their news?"

I shake my head. "No, I got to be extra with mine."

"Oh so just send him a random text from a random ass number. Bitch I'm pregnant and you know its yours." Alex says. "Classic Chris Brown."

I giggle. "That will piss him off."

"You wanted to be loving?" Alex snaps. "Send a drone over the fucking beach with a flag after you think he had enough."

"Why are you so good at this?"

She makes her eyes big. "I'm a fucking public rep. I do this in my sleep. And Hidia if you tell him I will kill you."

"Fine, I want to be home when he finds out anyway."

"Then what are you gonna do, Alex?" I ask.

She makes her eyes big. "I like to fuck who I want when I want. Who knows when this thing got here."

"Stop bullshitting. You said you had unprotected sex for the first time." Hidia snaps.

"Whatever. I'm not tryna deal with this. Amber has the floor to make it romantic. I'm just going to continue to shit bricks. Get a calculator and calendar."

Cammie

MiMi pushes me into the room. She promised to go back in with me. I pause looking around the room. Trey wasn't in there. It was just April and Wanda talking about shoes. They pause when April sees me.

"Are you going to join us?" April asks.

"No." I say backing up a bit. "Where is Trey?"

April points towards the patio door. "Tremaine!"

He comes into the room carrying Caden. "Yeah. Oh."

He smiles really hard at me. I swear I don't know what to do with him. Trey steps back outside then comes back with a chair in his free hand. Caden is woke chewing away at Trey's shirt.

"That was intense." Wanda says. "Do you think so?"

"Yeah." I nod. "It's us."

"But it doesn't have to be." Trey says so sweet. "It's not always gonna be us."

I roll my eyes. "And what changes that, Tremaine."

"Me."

"No, you are a pair. Together you need to change it. We are here because Trey deals with it all himself. He can't change it all himself." April says.

I nod. "I do hold a lot in."

"It's okay. We all do but marriage, it's the glue that holds your broken pieces together."

"Yeah but marriages don't always last. Then I'll just be broken pieces." I say.

"Marriages don't always last but are you not still in yours? So some marriages do last. My marriage almost broke me. Had me going to my colleagues thinking I was crazy for being in it. You have to grow with the marriage. When it gets deep you grow tall. When it dries up you replenish it."

I sigh. "How you figure out which is which?"

"We are here talking, helping your through it. Positive people help keep a marriage together." My mother says sitting down. "You don't have to have the answers Cammie. Nobody said you had to do it alone. You just have to initiate it. I had to stop blaming April and initiate getting you back. I just let you do what you wanted for too long. I'm ready to fight you now. So we are going to fight until you let me in your life. I always said God is on your side when you are walking in the right direction."

I just shrug my shoulders. I didn't want to cry no more. Trey kisses my cheek then a big face touches my cheek. Caden grabs my face suddenly then lets go. He better fucking let me go. I kiss him. He was back to trying to grab Trey's face.

"I should have brought my husband." MiMi says.

"It's not too late." Wanda says.

MiMi giggles standing up. "He too hood for emotions."

"The harder they act the more emotional they are." My mother says.

"So Trey... we need to set some realistic goals."

Trey clears his throat. "I'm letting this life go when my son starts kindergarten. Maybe first grade. Focusing my attention on them starting with Lane. I'm not waiting on another one to reach that age. Lane."

"That's realistic?" Wanda asks. "And how will you make money?"

"I married an educated achieved woman who don't mind working for what she has. We can make it."

April sighs. "Thank God to that."

My mama clears her throat. "I'd like to take some credit here. Not from God. She's just mine."

"Okay, Debra." April says rolling her eyes. "That's all you get today."

"That's below your current means."

"Royalties determine my means as it is so it'll just stay that way. I know how to make my money grow through investments and real estate."

Wanda moves on. "You know men experience postpartum depression as..."

Dee and MiMi walk in. A mad Dee. "Morning." He says.

"Good morning." April, Wanda, and my mother say.

I share my seat with MiMi. Wanda nods.

"What I was saying was men experience postpartum depression as well as women. Feeling like nothing is prepared, feeling useless, or just feeling negative about the new family structure. I see you have an infant as well. Are you feeling like your place is solid?"

Everybody looks at Dee. He sits up in his seat. "Who me? Yeah my position..."

"But you feeling like I'm cheating though." MiMi says.

Dee chuckles. "That's my ego. Just testing..."

"Trey's suicidal thoughts started after a birth and after hearing rumors of infidelity. We don't take anything lightly in this circle of friends. It's a very open environment. If you say you are okay mean it." Wanda says.

"I mean... I'm good. Why we talking bout me? This not..."

"It's about marriage right now." Trey says.

Dee was definitely uncomfortable. "Just saying I'm good."

"What about your wife?" Wanda asks. "How does she feel? She knew you wouldn't like talking about emotions? What about hers?"

"She just wants to be in California."

"We are here." Wanda says confused.

Dee cuts MiMi a look. "Aight, fine." He says sits up in his seat. "I used to sell drugs and all that now I'm making legal money in Atlanta. Good money. Taking care of my family planning a wedding, by myself. All she wants to do is move to California and I don't want to. Don't want to walk away from my new means."

"What's in California, MiMi?" Wanda asks.

"Dancing job. My best friend."

"Wait Dr. Ross? Why are you in California?" Cammie snaps.

"Conveniently a medical conference with Jim's practice." She smiles. "It's in a few days. We came early when he heard about the babies being sick. He wanted to see them himself. You've changed your life around and now your wife wants to change it again."

Dee shrugs a bit. "I'd walk away from money for her. Right after I buy everything for this wedding."

"Sounds like you and Trey are both making some executive decisions around the same time in life."

Dee sighs. "I think we married the same woman that's forcing us both in the same direction."

"That's a positive thing. You will have each other."

"Dee has been playing with his life for years though."

"Past tense." Dee says. "I go to work fearing my life as much as a mother packing her kids in a car to go to a grocery store."

"And you were scared to open up. We won't attack you. It's safe. My advise to everyone is to remember those around you that want to help. Don't try life alone. Trey you get me a good solid plan in writing. I don't want to be worried about your well being as you travel away from your family."

Trey nods his head. I look at him. Caden was getting bored with Trey and trying to see how far he could reach in other directions. I play with his foot distracting him. I can't say that this has been a bad session. It would have been nice to get deeper into Trey's thoughts but maybe that's for an even more private breakfast. Maybe just between us later.

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