#NERF Epic Challenge

[onedigital]

Celebra la navidad en Hasbro City con la nueva zona NERF Arena

La llegada de «Nerf Arena», tres nuevas atracciones; una nueva selección de comida y bebida, y una zona especial para momentos instagrameables. Esta Navidad en Hasbro City, disfruta de un entrañable desfile con personajes festivos y un divertido show musical. Continue reading Celebra la navidad en Hasbro City con la nueva zona NERF Arena

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Weinersmith and Boulet’s “Bea Wolf”

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

Bea Wolf is Zach Weinersmith and Boulet's ferociously amazingly great illustrated kids' graphic novel adaptation of the Old English epic poem, which inspired Tolkien, who helped bring it to popularity after it had languished in obscurity for centuries:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250776297/beawolf

Boy is this a wildly improbable artifact. Weinersmith and Boulet set themselves the task of bringing Germanic heroic saga from more than a thousand years ago to modern children, while preserving the meter and the linguistic and literary tropes of the original. And they did it!

There are some changes, of course. Grendel – the boss monster that both Beowulf and Bea Wulf must defeat – is no longer obsessed with decapitating his foes and stealing their heads. In Bea Wulf, Grendel is a monstrously grown up and boring adult who watches cable news and flosses twice per day, and when he defeats the kids whose destruction he is bent upon, he does so by turning them into boring adults, too.

And Bea Wulf – and the kings that do battle with Grendel – are not interested in the gold and jewels that the kings of Beowulf hoard. In Bea Wulf, the treasure is toys, chocolate, soda, candy, food without fiber, television shows without redeeming educational content, water balloons, nerf swords and spears, and other stuff beloved of kids and hated by parents.

That substitution is key to transposing the thousand-year-old adult epic Beowulf for enjoyment by small children in the 21st century. After all, what makes Beowulf so epic is the sense that it is set in a time in which a primal valor still reigned, but it is narrated for an audience that has been tamed and domesticated. Beowulf makes you long for a never-was time of fierce and unwavering bravery. Bea Wulf beautifully conjures the years of early childhood when you and the kids in your group had your own little sealed-off world, which grownups could barely perceive and never understand.

Growing up, after all, is a process of repeating things that are brave the first time you do them, over and over again, until they become banal. That's what "coming of age" really boils down to: the slow and relentless transformation of the mythic, the epic, and the unknowable and unknown into the tame, the explained, the mastered. When you're just mastering balance and coordination, the playground climber is a challenge out of legend. A couple years later, it's just something you climb.

The correspondences between the leeching away of magic lamented in Beowulf and experienced by all of us as we grow out of childhood are obvious in hindsight and surprising and beautiful and bittersweet when you encounter them in Bea Wolf.

This effect owes a large debt to Boulet's stupendous artwork. Boulet brings a vibe rarely seen in American kids' illustration, owing quite a lot to France's bande dessinée tradition. Of course, this is a Firstsecond book, and they established themselves as an exciting and fresh kids' publisher in the USA nearly 20 years ago by bringing some of Europe's finest comics to an American audience for the first time. You can get a sense of Boulet's darker-than-average, unabashedly anarchic illustrations here:

https://www.comixtrip.fr/bibliotheque/bea-wolf-weinersmith-boulet-albin-michel/

The utter brilliance of Bea Wulf is as much due to the things it preserves from the original epic as it is to the updates and changes. Weinersmith has kept the Old English tradition of alliteration, right from the earliest passages, with celebrations of heroes like "Tanya, treat-taker, terror of Halloween, her costume-cache vast, sieging kin and neighbor, draining full candy-bins, fearing not the fate of her teeth. Ten thousand treats she took. That was a fine Tuesday."

Weinersmith also preserves the kennings – the elaborate figurative compound phrases that replace nouns – that turn ordinary names and places into epithets at you have to riddle out, like calling a river "the sliding sea."

These literary devices, rarely seen today, are extremely powerful, and they conjure up the force and mystique that has kept Beowulf in our current literary discourse for more than a millennium. They also make this a super fun book to read aloud.

When Jim Henson was first conceiving of Sesame Street, he made a point of designing it to have jokes and riffs that would appeal to adults, even if some of the nuance would be lost on kids. He did this because he wanted to make art that adults and kids could enjoy together, both because that would give adults a chance to help kids actively explore the ideas on-screen, but also because it would bring some magic into those adults' lives.

This is a very winning combination (not for nothing, it's also the original design brief for Disneyland). Weinersmith and Boulet have produced a first-rate work of adult and kid literature, both a perfect entree to Beowulf for anyone contemplating a dive into old English epic poetry, and a kids' book full of booger jokes and transgressive scenes of perfect mischief.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/24/awesome-alliteration/#hellion-hallelujah

[des8pudels8kern]

If I were to write a Star Wars fic (which I won’t, as working full-time does not leave me with enough mental energy to be properly actively fannish), it’d be an epic AU where Obi-Wan also falls down the shaft at the climax of his fight with Maul, is presumed dead, and then pops up during the Clone Wars as a mysterious agent of chaos whose initial goal is just to rattle and provoke the Jedi into shedding at least a bit of their apathy disguised as serenity and their superiority complex (so, Obi-Wan choosing to help an entire planet of children caught in a horrific war was bad and aggressive, deserving of first repudiation and then probation, but when Knights and Masters order enslaved sentients into battle it’s duty and necessary to uphold the values of the Republic and thus Order?). He’s bitter, he’s angry, and he wants to destroy the Order. Well, the Order as it is. All talk, so little regard for actual decency, and no infrastructure in place to protect the children under their care.

There’d be a semi-humorous scene where Cody (who is... compromised, okay, he knows it, but this evil fallen force user is just different from the other evil fallen force users, okay) comes across Obi-Wan, bleeding from a fresh gash on his head (”What happened to you? - Oh, nothing, dear one; I just tripped.”) one eye clenched shut where the blood is dribbling down, yada yada, they do their usual song and dance about no, you question your allegiance and join my side, and then.

What’s that?

Cody bends down and picks up the thing that’s caught his attention. It’s round, and not quite flat, and ye--- yellow. He narrows his eyes at the infuriating pain in the ass in front of him.

“Tripped, huh? Deliberately, I assume?”

The man’s gaze flits down to the coloured lens balancing on Cody’s finger now, the exact same shade as his one open eye.

“When you arrived, the light of your presence overwhelmed me and caused me to falter. It can be quite challenging when one has delved as far into the dark as I have,” the fucker tries to lie to Cody’s face, voice as serene as the calmest of Jedi Generals fresh out of meditation, and maybe Cody needs to reconsider how trustworthy anything spoken in that tone really is.

Cody throws the lens at him, and the offending item manages to land on his chest, where blood has soaked into the shirt, and sticks to the fabric, staring at him accusingly.

“What kind of nerf-brained idiot fakes being a Sith? The entire Order is after you!”

The nerf-brain winces, then sighs and droops. He rubs a hand through his suddenly tired-looking face. The blood from his apparently actually self-inflicted head-wound that was meant to disguise the missing lens is smeared all over his cheek now, which looks ridiculous and is somewhat worrisome because Cody is used to bloodshed and knows that it’s usually not a good sign when people forget that they are bleeding. It does match the bone-deep exhaustion etched in the other man’s features, though, now that his mask of flirtatious nonchalance has dropped.

“In my defence, I honestly did not expect it to go this far.” He spreads his hands and pulls a somewhat forced-looking version of his usual boyish grin. “I assumed I would get in two, maybe three strikes before the Order went on alert and I got caught. When they didn’t, I decided to... provide further motivation.”

His right eye is grey-blue, as fathomlessly deep as the waters of Kamino, and Cody wonders what can drive a man to pretend to be evil incarnate to catch the attention of an organisation of essentially super-powered sentients in the middle of a war.

Another trickle of blood from the absolutely needless head wound snakes its way down the side of the man’s face, making it clear that, whatever his motivation might be it’s not a healthy sense of self-preservation.

Maybe Cody can get him to take out the other lens, too, so he can check his eyes for signs of a concussion.

And get a closer look at the colour.

...At least now he’s not compromised by a Sith anymore?

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 36-40 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

I didn’t need to spend so much screentime on Titania fight, yet it was a fun personal challenge. I’d never written/drawn a cohesive fight scene before. The scripted ingame instances don’t leave much room for imagination, I wanted to stay away from the fourth wall, and make up a more immersive scene. How do you even make it look mildly interesting? You’d think, well, characters will just flail at each other until one of them dies, right?

So yeah the biggest challenge was creating the ebb and flow. What affects Vivi’s actions? Why wouldn’t he just murder Titania like any other opponent, and be done with it? I threw in a generous amount of inner pov (that I previously used very sparingly) and some silly tricks. The stakes are high, yes, it’s a Lightwarden vs WoD encounter, but Titania still retains their playful personality above all else. Vivi's here just to do his job, but he also knows that he's dealing with a fae.

The msq makes Titania stand out among other wardens, I capitalized on that and hc’d that they’re important to Feo Ul, and, by proxy, to Vivi. That instantly provided some emotional stakes, and an answer to why he doesn’t rush to kill them out of the door.

Vivi enters the castle in episode 35, and mostly runs in circles, analyzing his enemy, and even falls victim to illusions. This could’ve been it for him, but I daresay it worried none of us because we’re just at the beginning of a story about this guy, he’s THE guy in this universe not for no reason, he’ll manage.

No deep meaning behind "grasshopper", I just thought it's a bizarrely precise descriptor of both Vivi's long legs and dragoon jumps, and it fits the natural theme of the fight.

Vivi didn’t go in unprepared.

This line will be relevant again in like, 5-7 years from now :’>

More under the cut~

He always, always doubts everything, especially when it comes to his level of power. Self-nerfing. A light (heh) case of an impostor syndrome.

Everyone loved the bonk for meme reasons, Vivi simply bought himself some time to cast.

The Rainbow Sparkles of Believing in Yourself! And of something else, perhaps. I’m planting quite a bit of stuff for future, this one should take a mere year or so to pay off.

I hope this pose’s enough of a hint that you shouldn't be taking episode 37 too seriously.

Yes, he used his spear to ~cast~. And took a sailormoon pose. This's his, monoclass dragoon’s, interpretation of what the caster magic’s probably like.

Offscreen, Titania comes to their senses and shrills “so you wanna play rough?!”, Vivi ignores them, concerned with only one thing: did he succeed? How did the test of his custom spell go?

It only worked out because the both of them are idiots.

I like to emphasize that Fragments isn’t about retelling the msq, or big epic battles, but here, where I actually put my heart into it, I feel like I managed to pull off at least one epic beat you’d typically see in an action-focused comic. Super proud of this panel ;w;

This’s a standard panel divider I’ve used multiple times before, but it couldn’t be more visually appropriate here :3c

So, to recap. Vivi asks Titania if they miss the night sky. They do. Vivi brings the night sky to them, and lo, something actually happens. I illustrated this “something” as one of their eyes getting sort of cleansed here. This story suddenly takes a mahou shoujo (shounen, heh) turn, I appreciate that it may cause some eyebrows to raise, but I think it’s okay to take creative liberties like this in a story themed around identity, agency, and believing in yourself. If Titania’s so strong as to retain a tiny bit of their old self, to cohesively partake in a simple convo, then why can’t they return, even if for a brief moment, given the proper assistance.

An appropriate reaction to the wild bs that’s going on. Imagine inventing the tale of WoD in the First, only to witness THIS.

As about Vivi, he can save a soul when he genuinely cares for it. We haven’t seen him do this before. He does it for Feo Ul explicitly, implicitly as a self-reflection. He’s projecting so hard after realizing that Titania looks like him. He wishes for them what he'd wish for himself: to rest, to be treated with care and consideration. They don't only look like him, they're also unfree, tortured by something. Empathy or not, this’s the kindest fight Vivi’s ever fought.

I’m iffy about the canon talents that come with the Echo. You can understand any sentient creature, okay. What happens when you speak, does the other party feel the difference between that soulspeak and their native tongue? Does it feel off? Does it offend? I incorporated my own misgivings into Vivi’s thoughts about his Echo. He doesn't use soulspeak here out of respect and concern that Titania might not react well to it, throwing the entire plan out of the window. Thus he memorized quite a bit of fae words before the fight. This’s his way to mark himself as one of their people, or at least to show that he truly cares.

STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 41

Vivien Doubter Rell. Also yay first nod!

Embracing his new duty, and possibly giving Titania the hug they deserve.

Look HE’S OKAY. For now. I just thought the hiccup would be a cute way to acknowledge the terrible power he’s just absorbed. The canon cutscene moves on unblinking, but here’s different.

Bracing himself for confrontation. Things might go awry. Or might not. Vivi doesn't know. Worst case scenario: this’s the end of his sweet lil friendship with Feo Ul. Do they like him, or a Titania-lookalike in him?

“Oh bugger...” big pets come with big responsibilities, my dear Feo Ul.

Just to reinforce his fae-ness.

Vivi had full control in this fight. Analyzed the enemy, successfully tested some crazy tricks, managed to have a heart-to-heart that resulted in getting a permission to kill Titania not with violence, but with mercy. So much could’ve gone wrong, but just didn’t. Vivi’s used to this, even if he constantly doubts everything, this’s how it always goes. He’s being flung at tasks with abysmal odds, somehow he emerges victorious.

I just like this panel so much okay.

This arc may feel slow, but it gives depth to Vivi and Feo Ul's relationship, and seeing them together in later episodes will spark even more joy.

Even after a warm moment they’d just shared, Vivi’s still wary. I broke out an analysis of what external influence, pressure to change means to him, please read this post if you missed it. YEAH TAGS AS WELL.

His expression here is an attempt to downplay the anxiety and swing the odds in his favor. What if Feo Ul insists and throws a tantrum? What if he has to become Titania right now, and there’s no way around this? Let’s make puppy eyes just incase, maybe that helps.

One more personal fav panel. There’s SO MUCH in this look. They’re on a threshold, about to become something else on Vivi’s behalf. Because they love him so much. They’ve instantly become friends because they don’t want anything from each other, just the company. Feo Ul’s such a breath of fresh air for Vivi, a new hope in a new world, where he’s (comparatively) a nobody, where people still have the potential to love him for who he is as a person. This’s why our crimson pixie gets so much screentime.

Vivi really said XD

The next few episodes wrap up the Il Mheg arc, and focus on good vibes and celebration. ShB follows a rollercoaster formula where it makes you smile at something nice and sweet only to whack you in the face right after, and I’m trying to do the same :3c

As always, thanks for reading~

[borgialucrezia]

As someone who is currently watching Borgia: Faith and Fear, I fell in love with Isolda and her Lucrezia and wanted to hear you opinions about her portrayal!

i grew to adore isolda's lucrezia after my second watch which i did recently. i have to confess though i was a bit turned off by faith and fear at first since i was an extreme showtime's the borgias fan !! but now i'm a fan of faith and fear as well and i believe their characters were portrayed more authentically and raw. holliday's lucrezia will always be my favorite, but i love how isolda's lucrezia is more explored in faith and fear because she's more agentive and takes a more active role in political campaigns. her appearance is endearing as well, and she looks exactly like the lucrezia in pintoricchio's painting…so yeah, i think isolda did a tremendous job with lucrezia, exploring even darker aspects of the character, etc.

juan has always been my fav borgia brother in every borgia media but in faith and fear he's the older brother and an overconfident chad and a brute which i didn't really vibe with much (not that he wasn't good but i prefer david oakes's version !! the younger brother who's the pariah among the borgia family, vulnerable and weak, yet hiding behind a bravado facade with a cruel streak to mask his inferiority, going to extreme lengths and does terrible stuff to prove himself to his family and gain their love). though i do love how faith and fear juan's storylines revolve around him and lucrezia more than around him and cesare since the shift in making juan older than cesare made me less interested in the brothers' rivalry.

mark ryder's cesare is the younger brother and he's fascinating and real which makes him my fav borgia brother in faith and fear. his depiction is more historically accurate and distinctly machiavellian, just like his appearance, he looks exactly like cesare in altobello melone's portrait. his characterization is also far more interesting than showtime's version. (don't get me wrong because i do prefer françois arnaud as an actor for cesare and i believe he would have done much more if he had been given the material from faith and fear) but mark's cesare? he was such an entertaining loose cannon through and through without any justifications.

tom fontana was brave enough to make all the characters more realistic without having the narrative backing them up. he's not pushing you to root for anyone, and certainly not for cesare !! unlike showtime's version, where his misdeeds are somehow portrayed as "justified" despite being a selfish megalomaniac who is sly and only serves the family in ways that benefit him, he stands almost at the pinnacle of everyone, with no rivals to challenge him (except for his younger brother who eventually gets nerfed) neil jordan hyped cesare up at juan's expense (throwing all of cesare's negative traits onto him.) he made cesare too competent because he needed him to seem likable and gain the audience's sympathy, trying to fit him into the "conventionally heroic" category but inadvertently making him a sociopath (thank you françois for embracing this unintentional aspect of him). whereas faith and fear's cesare had so many epic twists and turns, he doesn't lie to himself that he's the family's protector, and certainly not lucrezia's protector either, considering how he's inflicting pain on her yet still remains twistedly codependent. there was a moment where he intimidates his own deserting army by shouting to them all the atrocities and murders he committed in his life, then asking them if they can expect any better now that they are betraying him…brilliant !! i would have loved to see showtime's cesare scrambling and reflecting with self-awareness.

in terms of lucrezia and cesare's chemistry…no one is ever beating holliday and françois' portrayal of their relationship that is laced with both twistedness and innocence. they're perfect at the little physical touches and intimacies that they improvised together, and how they built up strong sexual chemistry between cesare and lucrezia from the very beginning, and how their affair caused doom for everyone around them. chemistry like that will never be replicated on screen ever again and that's on that !!

where things have been toned down in showtime's the borgias, such as sex, blood, and violence...faith and fear is more brutal, sleazy, bloody, and sexified. that's why showtime's the borgias is more approachable and comfortable for some viewers; they took a more straightforward route and depicted a simpler perception of the borgia family. personally, what gripped me about showtime's the borgias were the actors' performances, their enthusiasm, the dynamics between cesare/lucrezia/juan and the sensuality laced into the trio's sinister incestuous web. the codependency between cesare and lucrezia, the cain and abel arc between cesare and juan, as well as the costumes, music, and cinematography, all contributed to my investment in the show.

borgia: faith and fear has accents that are all over the place, and the costumes are very questionable, as are the actors' performances and chemistry. but they absolutely knock it out of the park in terms of characterizations and overall creativity in storylines

[kidsnerfparties]

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Contact

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[ruckusreactions]

Embark on an epic journey with us as we unveil the magic behind the latest Nerf gun, straight out of the box! In this special video, we're dissecting every detail, from its sleek design to its impressive capabilities, ensuring you know exactly what you're getting. Watch as we put it through its paces in a series of thrilling tests and challenges, demonstrating just how much fun can be packed into this remarkable toy gun. Whether you're here for the adrenaline rush of a Nerf battle or curious about the mechanics that power these blasters, there's something in this video for everyone. Don't miss out on this unique exploration of Nerf technology – it's more than just a toy; it's an adventure waiting to happen.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

past me is a liar.

THIS BE THE NEW RANKING

I am a Not Sorry For Loving You fan. if there are 100 fans, I am one of them. if there are 10 fans i am one of them. if there is one fan i am that one. if there are no fans than i have left this world. if the world is against it i am against the world.

yes I know what Odyssey!Calypso did. yes I know she and EPIC!Calypso don't deserve sympathy (Odyssey!Calypso particularly). but I still got FEELS over EPIC!Calypso.

as i've been saying- if EPIC!Circe can be liked despite what myth her has done, i can be sympathetic to EPIC!Calypso. especially since. ya know. it's obvious that EPIC isn't 100% aligning with the Odyssey.

so. yeah. :3 watch this anger the masses. i know how people are. this is what happens when you like nuances. sue me.

Dangerous is a VIBE- but imo, not as much as Wouldn't You Like was, so it's a tier below for me heh

I listened to Charybdis on repeat for a bit, but it's further down the list now for me. I think Get In The Water is great, but Ruthlessness was better imo. Both songs I think hit harder with the songs that come right before them (hence why I have Keep Your Friends Close and Charybdis right in front of them on the list! :3)

Six Hundred Strike...not my favorite, sorry :> RIP Poseidon, you got nerfed buddy 😔

Very excited for The Ithaca Saga, though! Looking forward to The Challenge and Hold Them Down for sure!

soo...i did a thing :3

Link Here!

[robin-nightwing-agent37]

I completely agree with you on the Nightwing solos. I’m sick of certain writers nerfing Dick in the name of  “nostalgia” when really all it is, is fanservice to a  particular minority of DC consumers who dont venture beyond the DCU/DC cartoons.

I miss the days where villains like Deathstroke would show how brilliant and strategic and epic Nightnight is as both a fighter and a hero. I always loved reading comics where Deathstroke was involved in the plot as either a begrudging ally or the main antagonist because he always pushed Dick. In all aspects.

We didn’t get a bubble headed idiot as we seen in recent solos, we got someone who was challenged mentally, morally, and physically. It made Dick’s character, as well as the plot, interesting and refreshing.

Dick and Slade have always had that certain type of chemistry, that particular brand of respect/hate partnership and rivalry, that made those comics the best and most intense.

I always loved that rough, obsessive, almost dark side of Dick (omg but not in the whole “Ric” way bs) that Slade, and other villains or anti-heroes brought out in Dick.

It brought so much depth and realism to his character, as well as making the goofy, witty and yes, sometimes ridiculously daring side of Dick all that more loveable. Dick is only second to Superman when it comes to being the most approachable and trusting hero. He’s also seen and referred to as Batman’s light. It’s a great character trait for Dick. And I love it.

But making him that goofy hero 24/7 as these Nightwing solos have been doing as of late really devalues that aspect of his character and makes his character boring, ridiculous, and overall cheap.

I just wish the fans and the writers would take Nightwing more seriously these days.

I love including Deathstroke as one of Dick's main re-occurring villains! Because the history between the two is just so amazing and deep and it's criminal not to explore it. Deathstroke being admirable of Dick's skill set, but still hating him is always an interesting idea to me. I don't like it when Deathstroke is portrayed as friendly or willing to team up with Dick. I want straight animosity between the two characters. I again always loved the idea of Dick being more rough around the edges and very stoic. Like a cross between Captain America and Aragorn almost lol TBH, I prefer Dick to be described outside of being the light to batman's darkness. Dick is more than just a batman side character and at this point, his mythos should reflect that. He is charismatic, approachable, and trustworthy. But he is also isn't perfect. He can be mean, overbearing, and selfish at times as well. Goofy and incompetent, he is not. I'm fine with exploring Dick's more laid back non-serious side, but that should only come out when he is just enjoying himself with some friends during a night out or something. Not when he is trying to get rid of a deadly criminal.

I think writers DO take Nightwing seriously, it's just there isn't much to do with Nightwing at the same time. Most stuff created for Nightwing gets given away to other characters. Most of his best personality traits and skillets have already been given to Barbara Gordon and Tim Drake respectively, since the 90s.

I don't think Dick will ever be allowed to truly be different and great until he is away from both Titans and Batfam tbh both those parts of the DC world kind of hold Dick back. He is blending in, instead of standing out with those two groups. I think Dick needs new content to interact with. Remember, it took creating an entirely new property (New Teen Titans) and mantle (Nightwing) for Dick for him to become popular in the first place. It'll probably need to happen again. It took Batman almost 40 years to actually gain traction as a character and even then; it wasn't until after Killing Joke (1988) that Batman became the powerhouse he is today. So Nightwing still has lots of time to play catch up.

[1-800-roflmao]

EPISODE TWO: TDI ANON ED.

@ratsoh-writes @underfell-crystal @kalquinn @scienceisfood @ivyprism @magicfrogblog @skeletons-and-dnd

Episode One: Dive

Last episode, we said good bye Frog, who apparently put a target on their back when they had to be forced to dive.  Let’s see how the campers are doing before we discuss the challenge.

THE SAINTS

The Bros bond has only gotten stronger despite being on opposing teams.  The ever wholesome duo.

Spidey and Shuffle are still going strong.

Wisp and Nerf’s bond has strengthened to an unbreakable level (but we’ve seen that means little in this game. Exhibit A: Frog and Dino).

The married couple and Dino have developed a strong mutual bond!  Spidey had targeted Frog in the last round.  Is it possible they are the reason that Dino turned on Frog?  And they got their spouse to help convince their fellow giant to boot Frog from the island using that trustworthy air Shuffle has?  

Glass is making lots of friends thanks to their impressive display taking for the first dive.

Poet and Holy’s bond is getting stronger.

THE SINNERS

Rof loyalty to the Artist’s Alley has dropped to even out with her allies.

Sinners R’ Us, Run N Gun, and Yin Yang still going strong. No changes.

After being killed in the hunger games by their own wife, DnD’s loyalty to Ratsoh has dropped.

Ratsoh and KQ feel an unbreakable bond toward each other.   She appreciated them giving her a chance to feel tall for once.

Birdie feels an unbreakable bond to Ratsoh.  They had a flirt battle in private and it was epic.

KQ and Crys have developed a mutual unbreakable bond.  That’s nice~

KQ hates Harlow.  Probably because the human weapon has injured them one too many times and unconditionally backs up Ivy.

So many “unbreakable” bonds formed.  We’ll see who lasts...  On to the challenge!  Today’s challenge is the AWAKE-ATHON!!  The campers first will be physically exhausted by having them run twenty kilometres around the a lake.  All the campers who completed the run will be treated to a feast!  And the last part, the team with at least one camper remaining awake will win invincibility!

13 campers completed the run and get to indulge in the feast!   

No surprise Harlow, KQ, Nurse, Nerf, Wisp, and Puffy completed the run.

By some miracle, Rof completed the run.  I guess with the right motivation, anything is possible.  For Rof, that was food.

Seagull has energy for days.  No surprises here.

Ivy was carried on Harlow’s back. 

Ratsoh hitched a ride on KQ’s back after seeing Ivy’s example.

Holy’s morning zoomies worked in their favor.

Crys and Chaos ran at an easy, even pace.  It’s not a race so why hurry.

Puffy and Wisp chat while eating and find they have something in common.  

Puffy and Nerf have impressed their teammates by being the first two to finish the run.

DON’T SLEEP

Irony strikes as Ivy is the first camper to knock out.  The sinners were hoping her bad sleep habits would work to their advantage. Looks like a full stomach does wonders. (Sinners have 10 remaining)

Looks like KQ overestimated their stamina and had one too tacos.  They are the next to fall!  (Sinners have 9 remaining)

Wisp used up quite a bit of their energy in the run and the food provided wasn’t the most nourishing for their flames.  They succumb.  (Saints have 9 remaining)

Spidey made the mistake of cuddling their hubby and Shuffle’s heartbeat put them to sleep. (Saints have 8 remaining)

Chaos, being one of the few anons with a usually early bed time, did better than they expected, but ended up laying down and giving in.  (Sinners have 8 remaining)

Harlow goes down next.  Even a weapon needs rest.  (Sinners have 7 remaining)

Puffy falls asleep after asking for a bathroom break.  They are found asleep standing up in the middle of washing their hands. (Saints have 7 remaining)

 Crys managed to stay awake much longer than expected.  They thank Ivy for this accomplishment.  (Sinners have 6 remaining)

Holy sees Chaos shivering and decides to warm up their alliance buddy with some platonic cuddles.  They fall asleep in the process. (Saints have 6 remaining)

Shuffle falls asleep holding their wife. (Saints have 5 remaining)

Science tries to help keep everyone else awake with some impromptu stand-up, but sadly they, Ratsoh, and Birdie end up falling asleep anyway. (Sinners have 3 remaining)

Despite Seagull’s seemingly endless energy, they go through an unexpected crash.  (Sinners have 2 remaining)

DnD engages their remaining teammate in a game of tic tac toe.  They end up falling asleep midstroke. (Sinners have 1 remaining) 

Rof, with the sleep schedule of an old lady, somehow is the last Sinner to fall asleep.  Sadly, with no one to keep her entertained and Dino urging her to sleep, she’s out like a light. (Sinners have 0 remaining)

SAINTS WIN!!  With 5 campers still awake!  Good job Poet, Glass, Nurse, Nerf, and Dino!  You’ve won your team invincibility!  Now, go get some sleep while the Sinners cast their votes and head to the campfire ceremony.

CAMPFIRE CEREMONY

Ivy and Harlow must have plotted and planted seeds in their teammates heads over dinner as the overwhelming majority voted for KQ!  

KQ in a surprising betrayal, voted for Ratsoh who they had recently bonded with.  (Told y’ll bonds mean shit in this game xD)

Ratsoh joined the majority and voted for KQ. 

Thanks to Seagull bonding with KQ throughout this mess, they were one of the only ones who didn’t vote for KQ.  They voted for Ratsoh in hopes of kicking her before she kicks them.  

Rof also voted for Ratsoh in solidarity with KQ.  

With eight votes against them, KQ walks the dock of shame. 

AT THE END OF THE DAY 

The newest alliance formed just yesterday has lost a member as Science backs out and turns on Birdie in a twist!  What did Birdie do to deserve this?!  Or did someone whisper in Science’s ear and stir up trouble?  

Rof and Seagull bond over the loss of their friend, KQ.

Chaos is targeting Ivy.  It is possible they feel she is a threat with how she rallied the team to vote off KQ.

DnD is targeting Science.  They are judging Science heavily for turning on Birdie.

Ratsoh and Seagull’s mutual hatred continues.  Who will get who first?!

[killscreencinema]

Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)

a

When this game was first announced in 2006 or so, I thought “Nintendo done lost their goddamn minds”.  You’ll find no more stalwart a defender of Nintendo than me - I’m a unapologetic Nintendo fanboy.  However, despite my adoration of the company, I’m not beyond criticizing them for bonehead moves, such as when they were collaborating with Sony to make a CD based console, but then fucked them over to work with Panasonic’s wretched CDi, leaving Sony to make the PlayStation; or, speaking of CD based consoles, that time Nintendo stuck to cartridges for the Nintendo 64, alienating valuable 3rd party partners like Squaresoft and Konami, and making themselves look woefully behind in the times; and now they were sending Mario into SPAAAAAACE???

Fortunately, Super Mario Galaxy not only worked out great, but in my mind, blasted beyond every 3D Super Mario game that came before it to become the greatest 3D Mario title ever.  Normally when you take a beloved franchise into to space, such as the Leprechaun movies or Friday the 13th, it’s the (pun intended) universal signal for having run out of ideas.  I mean, where do you go after space???  That’s kind of why I found Mario Odyssey to be mildly underwhelming by comparison. 

Mario Galaxy revolutionizes 3D platforming much as Mario 64 did before it, what with how it messes with your notion of gravity and perspective.  Oh sure, we’re all used to jumping from the top of a platform to the top of another, but how about under it?  The side of it?  Each galaxy you visit presents you with such vastly different gameplay challenges, it never feels redundant or monotonous.  Each galaxy is also so wildly different, aesthetically speaking, it also gives the game great level variety (something that was sorely lacking in Super Mario Sunshine). 

Then there’s the music.... ohhh the music!  I am not exaggerating when I say Super Mario Galaxy sports one of the best video game soundtracks ever made.  The sweeping, cinematic music was the first thing I noticed when I played the game for the first time in a GameStop way back in 2007.  The music for “Good Egg Galaxy” gave me goosebumps back then and it still does now.  It’s an appropriately epic orchestral magnum opus for such an epic game.  Mahito Yokota and Koji Kondo have really outdone themselves with this score, which I would even go so far as to say truly rivals some of Hollywood’s most memorable soundtracks. 

I’m really hardpressed to find flaws with this game, but if I try hard enough, I’d say the “Prankster Comets” are really annoying.  I don’t mind them from a gameplay perspective, but I hate how randomly they appear.  I’ll be trying to clear certain galaxies, but the damn Prankster Comet is nowhere to be seen, and I end up having to pay 20 star bits to a hungry Luma to move it!  Even then, it’s not guaranteed the Luma will move it to the galaxy I need.  I’m always extremely irritated by game mechanics built on chance rather than skill or a predictable game loop.  Just make the damn Prankster Comets always available at any point that you feel like giving them a shot!

That’s such a mild annoyance it’s barely worth mentioning.  I suppose my only other gripe is how “Nerfed” the game’s difficulty is, what with how many lives the game constantly supplies you with.  Every so often a Toad carrying a letter from Princess Peach will grant you 5 extra lives, if you want them, which basically makes the who system of having lives rather pointless.  Don’t get me wrong, though, extra lives or not, Mario Galaxy is far from “easy”, with some truly teeth-grindingly hard challenges for the completionists out there like myself who simply MUST get all of the power stars.  However, if you’re just doing a basic playthrough, the difficulty becomes moderate at best. 

Super Mario Galaxy is quite the masterpiece, and paired with its even better sequel, make for one hell of a 3D Mario experience.

[yunharlaquin]

stupid things I have witnessed in some shape or form (some i’ve seen, some told to me, some seen on video) happen in the very serious military™ that i need to have happen in the new rep/ublic/imperi/al military/resistance/rebel alli/ance:

getting drunk and daring each other to climb up on equipment (singing badly usually included)

a lot of singing in general, usually really popular songs, usually badly

being challenged to throw something from the top of a raised surface and falling off because they misjudged the surface

cleaning their bunk room in their underwear and doing stupid things (you might’ve seen an example of this, but it’s pretty common XD) when they are inspected (i think ro/gue squadron absolutely did something similar to luke at least once)

making up fake exercises to mock other units/branches

really stupid parody songs

dancing with each other very stupidly until they can’t breathe from laughing

massive very serious nerf gun fights (sw HAS to have a nerf equivalent, you know they do).  I mean rolling and checking corners and all serious.

the pranks are... epic and absolutely insane

i’ve said this before and i’ll say this again...  we need more silliness.

[clangree]

Introduction to Presentation

             I choose the Site specific design project because I am not particularly attracted to promenade shows, and though to myself “this will be a challenge”. I must admit before starting the design, I wouldn’t have gone to a show like this. I am not big on audience participation, I like sitting back and just watching and taking in what is shown in front of me. So I choose it, mainly to prove myself wrong. 

The War Habit appealed to me because of its grandiose and epic aspect. It appeared to me as more than just a play, maybe because of its poetic language and universal lesson about war. 

Not only was I attracted to the text, but the site had a very mysterious and historical atmosphere to it. The first time I stepped there, I seemed to grasp the concept, to understand the relation between text and space. There was not much hesitation on my part, I knew that was the one I wanted to work on.

Before starting anything design related we were asked to write a manifesto of out piece. So I decided I wanted to focus on a few things 

- Really try and make my piece as accessible and safe as possible.Since it is a piece dealing with war and sounds, wounds, and death, I want to make sure the audience’s mental health, safety and accessibility is at the heart of the process, and the final product. I want the audience to both be pushed and surprised, but also feel safe.   

- Keeping my Audience Active. I wanted my piece to be active, the audience to feel like they are a part of the piece, in fact that the piece could not exist without them. I want them to take things from the performance both from an individual experience, but also from a larger experience, as a group.

- To use the site as the main base to help the story and    to create powerful images. I wanted the walls and every crack in them, to suddenly take meaning, instead of just being an old wall. I want the audience to be able to walk through the space and feel the history throughout the story and images told

-   And lastly I wanted to be right on with the Brittish History. Since this piece is so focused on Brittish war history I want to be spot on so the audience (who will mostly be Brittish and more welsh) can relate. Rather than putting on my French history knowledge. But That last point has then been a bit scrapped of because I went with a much larger and universal view of War. 

               Starting the design, I knew it had to be universal. All around the world, everyone experiences War, whether it is on the front lines or on the news, a loved one or in the history books. It is part of us. And I thought the text highlighted that quite well. 

So I knew I wanted to make it universal and that anyone that came to see the play could relate in some way to it. But also gain new experiences. The different moments in the play are made as a cycle, with the tree in the center. I am not representing a real war in Time but a methaphorical war that represents all wars, recited by a Poet. The poet, the main characters, the one who’s writing the war, and layering the history, leads the audience through the piece, moment by moment. 

Acompaniying the Poet is an army composed of soldiers. They create a mass, they are multigenerational to show how war affects each an everyone of us. A little girl is a soldier as much as an adult man. Their costumes are not particularly specific, but clearly have a Western feel to it. Like everything else in the piece they represent layers of war, so a young boy soldier could be wearing a World War One jacket with totally different style of boots or trouser. The costumes help the audience understand that the piece is a not pin pointing an era or a country, but trying to representing the idea of WAR. The Props are a mix as well of modern war equipment but also war toys. The toys are a bit more vintage looking, (I don’t want a Nerf gun for example) like small wooden planes, fake looking gun toys etc...

Before I start I wanted to go through some of my initial research. I started my research on images or soldiers in action, but also relaxing soldiers, asking myself What do they do, waiting for war to come, knowing tis coming. (here is where I show important images and drawings that helped me with the process). I also came up very quickly with the idea of unscrolling, opening up a scroll and discovering layers and layers of history. I started looking at the Bayeux tappiserie and images like this (shows images) that really made me think about how is war recorder, how is history written. Following that line, I worked with costumes first, with the desire to really understand the universality of it. ( here is where I would show some first ideas of costumes) 

The space, in accordance to my manifesto is mainly left as it is exepct a few changes to make it more accessible.

So to explain fully the experience of the War Habit, I will take you with me on the journey of the piece moment by moment, showing images of the site, mixed with pieces of my work. 

( Presentation of the final work is shown like in the story board) 

[thesevenseraphs]

Bungie Weekly Update - 2/27/20

This week at Bungie, Trials is back on the menu. It’s been an exciting week. You all came together and donated your stockpiles of Fractaline to the ongoing effort to build the new Lighthouse and usher in the return of Trials of Osiris next Season. As soon as the final stage was complete, you were invited to survey the completion of the project and light the beacon. We saw your signal as our cue to release this developer insight video confirming what many have been speculating for a while now.

To follow the video, Luke Smith wrote another Director’s Cut that covered a few topics, including our philosophy on Seasons and some challenges in sustaining a game with weapons that last forever. Similar to the three-part epic he put out last year, it contains a lot of important info you won’t want to miss.

SUBCLASS CHANGES

With the return of Trials and a new Season on the way, we’re planning to shake things up with some changes to your Guardian abilities. The Dev team has the details, so I’ll let them do the talking.

Dev Team: Hey, Guardians. Trials is coming back, and the Combat Systems team has been hard at work preparing Destiny 2 for its arrival. We’ve made a number of big changes to the abilities sandbox, and instead of simply dropping them all in the patch notes, we wanted to take this opportunity to offer some transparency for our decision-making process.

Before we begin, we want to give a big shout out to the data scientists here at Bungie. They provide us with mountains of valuable data to sift through—from the win rates of each subclass in each Crucible game mode to the kills-per-minute of each weapon on each platform in each PvE activity. This data allows us to make sure we’re making informed decisions when balancing the game. It allows us to separate the perceived power of abilities, weapons, and armor, from their true, objective power. But The data doesn’t always tell the whole story, and we believe strongly that perceived power and community sentiment are just as important as cold, hard data. Even as Trials returns, we’re committed to maintaining a fun and fair sandbox for both PvP and PvE, and we considered data for all game modes when making adjustments. 

WARLOCK MELEE

Warlocks have long been at a disadvantage in melee fights because it takes them slightly longer than Titans and Hunters to recover from making a melee attack. So, next Season, we’re extending the Warlock’s basic melee range by one meter to a total of 5.5 meters. Warlocks will still melee slightly slower than the other classes, but they’ll now have a one-meter advantage. If you can use this window to land the first melee attack in a slap fight, you’ll likely emerge victorious. We feel this is a more interesting solution to melee disparity than homogenizing all of the melee attacks, and we’ll be studying the data as it rolls in to make sure it’s balanced.

TITAN BARRICADES

A Titan’s barricade is incredibly powerful in Trials because you can use it to safely resurrect your fallen teammates. Next Season, we’re creating counters to the barricade while also raising its health from 500hp to 600hp. Barricades will now take extra damage from Special-ammo weapons, anti-barrier weapons, and certain Heavy weapons. This change makes barricades sturdier while giving opposing players the option to use their Special ammo to bring down the barricade more quickly.

The following weapons now do 30% extra damage to Barricades:

Sniper Rifles

Grenade Launchers

Linear Fusion Rifles

Machine Guns

Trace Rifles

Anti-Barrier Weapons

The following weapons now do 60% extra damage to Barricades:

Shotguns

Fusion Rifles

You’ll see yellow damage numbers when hitting a barricade with a counter weapon, which always feels good.

ONE-SHOT ABILITIES

With the introduction of the Hunter’s Weighted Knife in Season of Dawn, each class now has a neutral-game ability that can kill PvP opponents in one hit. We’ve taken a pass at all of the one-shot abilities to tune their risk/reward factor. We’ll warn you that some these changes look extreme on paper, but we made a point to make sure these abilities retained their overall feel. 

For the Titan’s three Shoulder Charge abilities, we reduced the auto-targeting angle by 50%. That might sound like a lot, but acrobatic Titans could previously auto-target to make an instant 90-degree turn. We also adjusted the lunge distance to 5.5m for both targeted and untargeted lunges. Targeted lunges were previously 6m, while untargeted lunges were previously 4.5m. These changes make for a more consistent experience while lunging.

For the Hunter’s Weighted Knife, we’ve reduced its tracking significantly and created new tracking tech that will make the knife more faithful to its initial throw trajectory.

As for the Warlock’s Handheld Supernova, we’ve made a number of changes to bring this ability in line with the other one-shot abilities. While part of HHSN’s strength lies in its pairing with the Contraverse Hold Exotic gauntlets (which are also being tuned this Season), our data indicated that even without Contraverse Hold, Handheld Supernova needed to be adjusted. Here are the changes:

Increased activation time by 0.6 seconds

Reduced hold time from 3.5 seconds to 2.5 seconds

Reduced range by 20%

Tightened horizontal spread of bolts by 25%

Bolt explosion now does self-damage

Reduced bolt explosion radius from 3m to 2.5m

In our playtesting, we’ve found that the product of these changes is an ability that is still incredibly strong but now has a risk/reward ratio commensurate with its power. (After all, this thing can vaporize multiple PvP opponents instantly.) There’s even a bit of silver lining here —the tightening of the bolts leads to more concentrated damage at range, improving its viability against Supers. To compensate for this change, other elements of the middle Voidwalker path are being buffed, including the Nova Warp Super, which now has increased damage resistance, a longer duration, and a reduced blink cost.

GENERAL SUBCLASS TUNING

We’ve made changes to a number of subclass paths in an effort to tighten the gameplay balance. For example, Stormcaller top, Striker bottom, and Arcstrider bottom have remained dominant in PvP for multiple Seasons now, consistently beating out all other paths in both win-rate and average efficiency. These paths have also ranked among the top PvE paths in terms of kills-per-minute. We’ve adjusted these paths (and others) to bring them closer to the middle of the pack. On the other end of the spectrum, paths such as Voidwalker bottom, Nightstalker bottom, and Striker middle needed some love, so we’ve taken steps to lift them up.

In the spirit of transparency, we take no joy in nerfing the abilities, weapons, and armor that we all love to use. We wish the answer to keeping the game balanced and fresh was always to buff the underperforming elements. But such an approach leads to power creep—the slow and steady increase of the average power of everything in the game—which trivializes the incredible game modes and encounters that the other teams at Bungie work hard to create. After all, as Destiny players ourselves, we go home and play the game too, and we want the game to be as fun and as healthy as possible.

That’s it from us today. You’ll find more details about these changes and more when the patch notes drop in early March. 

Oh yeah . . . and Hunter Tripmines are sticky again. Stay sharp, Guardians.

As promised, in addition to these explanations, there will be patch notes when the new Season begins. Those should give you the full illustration of how the game is changing. Until they arrive, we hope you enjoyed this preview.

As promised, in addition to these explanations, there will be patch notes when the new Season begins. Those should give you the full illustration of how the game is changing. Until they arrive, we hope you enjoyed this preview.

TWITCH PRIME REWARDS

More Twitch Prime Rewards go live this week. If you’ve already signed up, Amanda Holliday has your new items waiting. Everyone else can sign up now by  linking your Bungie.net account. Here’s a look at what rewards Amanda will have for you this month:

Poultry Petting – Exotic Emote

Praxic Finery - Exotic Sparrow

Age of Tomorrow Shell - Legendary Ghost

Sails of Osiris - Exotic Ship

Pick up a hot ride or the ability to pet a fine feathered friend. Don’t forget, there will be a new set of Twitch Prime Rewards coming up next month too!

END OF THE SEASON

With the Empyrean Foundation restored, the last Triumph to acquire the Savior Seal has been unlocked. Players completing this Seal should claim and equip it to ensure it isn’t removed when Season of Dawn ends on March 10.

Additionally, players have until 9:59 AM PST on March 13 to claim their Season of Dawn rewards on their Bungie Rewards page, with a deadline to purchase being 11:59 PM PST on March 31.

Finally, the Player Support team is working on an End of Season article highlighting quests, items, and Triumphs leaving with the transition to Season of the Worthy.

STONK MARKET CLOSING SOON

The community has been questioning if they can continue donating to the Empyrean Foundation. Players will be able to donate their Polarized Fractaline until the Season ends on March 10.

UPCOMING RESOLVED ISSUES

Below is a list of issues that will be resolved when Season of the Worthy and Update 2.8.0 becomes available on March 10:

Tower travel loading times will be returned to normal.

The Prime Attunement buff will once again show up on new characters after previous character deletion.

The Pigeon and the Phoenix lore will become available again to those who earned the lore. Players who acquire Bastion in later Seasons will be granted all Pigeon and Pheonix lore.

The empty Solstice of Heroes gift message from Tess will no longer show up.

For a full list of emergent issues in Destiny 2, players can review our Known Issues article. Players who observe other issues should report them to our #Help forum.

[minecraftoworymode]

newtons third law says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and so while doodlingcubes has created an incredibly valid and stannable human reuben i, master of sin and the dark arts, have created the most invalid and questionable human reuben

below the cut is something of an explanation for how this trainwreck happened hghfdlghldkfh

so like romeo creates most if not all of his own problems right? he’s a disaster who sets himself up to have a terrible time constantly and keeps getting nerfed because he blames things not working on others instead of looking at his own behaviour. this is canon piece of evidence 1/2.

reuben can handle himself faced with an armed opponent (to borrow from the tvtropes bc im too lazy to find a clip, “If you choose to say nothing when Reuben has been kidnapped by a butcher, Reuben will give you a brief Disapproving Look before proceeding to beat the crap out of the butcher himself.”). this is canon piece of evidence 2/2.

ok. so.

five seconds into playing saints row IV i started coming up with an mcsm au for it bc the thing practically writes itself, with jesse being the boss and romeo being that zenyatta guy or whatever. and i was having a great time pairing characters until i got to the matter of the boss’ best friend, this guy johnny guitar, who was such an impressive warrior that zumba had to imprison him several years before sr4 started just to make sure that earth’s biggest threat wouldn’t stop him from invading. and like. jesse has a lot of friends, but the one character they actually repeatedly refer to as being their best friend is

this lil guy. and i was like. ok i cant make johnny cash reuben, that’d be weird. but i can’t not make him reuben. 

BUT THEN i had a jimmy neutron-style brainwave that ended up spitting out this (in my au the choice of champions wasnt petra and jack but rather radar and jesse- this is from the jesse line)

THE ADMIN: you know, i couldn't help but notice that- despite the loads of fun we've been having- you've been looking a little glum. so, i decided to find you a little something to cheer you up!!

JESSE (ohhh shit here we go again) (awkwardly and strained): listen, admin, the first fifteen laser swords were really cool but-

THE ADMIN, poofing a stage with curtains covering it into the room: (weird shushing noise a la “abedup”) can i get a drumroll, please! (he rolls the r in drumroll bc hes extra like that) (he gets a drumroll, obviously, though there are no visible drums)

THE ADMIN (announcer voice like in the challenge room): he's pink, he’s big, his lack of co-operation got him turned him into a pig, iiit's your best friend-

(the curtains pull open, revealing a very confused, very pink, and very beefy human facing the wrong way and looking like he just got pulled out of a fight bc he's fuckign ready)

THE ADMIN: reuben!!! :D

JESSE, trying not to cry because now they miss their friends even more: uh... (why does this keep happening) i- thanks, really, i really appreciate it but- reuben was a pig?

THE ADMIN: (melodramatic sigh) do you really think i'd make the same mistake hadrian did? (jesse starts- they hadn’t been expecting him to know so much about the details of that particular adventure. of course he couldve just read lukas’ book (which he did) but it still takes them by surprise) this is the real deal, jesse.

REUBEN, turning around: ... jesse??

(jesse and reuben make eye contact, like in that one trope where they just KNOW it’s the other person- jesses like ‘id recognize those soulful eyes anywhere.’ n- well, jesse’s jesse, but both dont really dare to hope that it’s true. still, the admin is grinning widely, looking super pleased with himself even as reuben stumbles forward and pretty much collapses off the stage)

REUBEN: the- the witherstorm, it- where is it? we have to-

THE ADMIN, waving his hand: hah! don't worry your pretty little head about that, champ- er... champ. (very short awkward pause ok MOVING ON FROM THAT) jesse here managed to slay it aaall by themself! oh, you should've seen it, it was SUPER epic-

JESSE: wait wait wait, you're- you're telling me THIS is reuben?

THE ADMIN: the one and only! (fondly) he was a real hero back in the day- almost as promising as you are, jesse! only... very, hmmm... disobedient.

(shot of the admin and reuben looking at each other. there is A History here.)

THE ADMIN: 'course i couldn't bring myself to just kill him, so i decided i’d turn him into something so cute and harmless no one’d ever want to cause him trouble! (proudly) and more importantly, he wouldn't be able to cause trouble for himself. (laughing, but kind of through gritted teeth) because he was very, very good at that. (pause) and it worked, (off to the side) up until you dragged him into a fight he had no business being in, (back to jesse) but it all worked out in the end, didn’t it! (laugh) maybe i should try this ‘being generous’ thing out more often.

REUBEN: THAT'S what you call-

THE ADMIN: anyhow, i'm sure that's all water under the bridge now, 'ey? it’s not often i respawn people, you know, so if i were you i'd make the most of this second chance and not muck it up. (meaningful, threatening pause) well, i'm sure you two've got a LOT to catch up on, so i’ll leave you to it. toodles! (vwoops away)

n jesse and reuben are both like

anyway im not sure he actually would look just like johnny gat but @simple-mooshroom-herder​ told me to draw it anyway so here we are.. thanks for coming to my tedtalk hgldhflghdlfhg

[tanadrin]

Patch Notes for World of TanadrinCraft

Patch Notes for World of TanadrinCraft

Patch 1.0: Release

Welcome to World of TanadrinCraft! The game has officially moved out of its beta phase, and the servers have been reset. Explore the vast, exciting world of Tanadria with your friends, as one of nine classes, including Wizard, Axe Wizard, Religion Wizard, Edgy Wizard, Goth Wizard, Pirate Wizard, Tree Wizard, Bow and Arrow Wizard, and Pokemon Trainer. Join one of three rival factions and compete in fast-paced player versus player combat, where you will get stunlocked and die before being able to do anything, because fuck you for not rolling a stealth class.

Balance changes:

-Axe Wizard specialization “Barbarian” now gets a bonus armor multiplier for each armor slot they leave empty. Armor of Chainmail Thong of Skullcrushing nerfed to compensate.

-Goth Wizards now permitted to wear cloth gear in colors other than black (but don’t push it).

-Edgy Wizards have been given three additional stun abilities and can now move at 125% speed while stealthed. Because fuck you, that’s why.

-Bow and Arrow Wizards now 10% more impossibly cool.

-Religion Wizards are now forbidden from taking quests that require killing sentient creatures to complete. To compensate, their experience gain has been increased by 0.5%.

-Due to player complaints about realism, Tree Wizard’s Tree Mode ability now renders the caster immobile. Carbon dioxide uptake increased by 4% to compensate.

-Secondary professions like Fishing, Darts, Coin Flipping, Juggling, and Whistling have had their skill gain reduced by 50%, to make them more rewarding.

-As players have expressed a desire for the world to “feel bigger,” all movement speeds have been reduced by 20% (except for Edgy Wizards).

Patch 1.1: Balance Changes & Bug Fixes

After a slightly bumpy rollout, we’re proud to announce that the World of TanadrinCraft subscriber count continues to increase! Thanks to everybody who helped make our launch a success!

-Wizard class renamed to Regular Wizard to avoid confusion.

-Regular Wizard specializations renamed to “Blow Shit Up,” “Freeze Shit,” and “Blow Shit Up, But Purple”

-Religion Wizard’s new “Snake Handler” ability allows pacifying all Snake-type creatures within 8 meters for 15 seconds.

-Tree Wizard’s ability “Evapotranspiration” has had its mana cost reduced by 15%.

-Axe Wizard’s “Ye Olde Chivalrie” specialization now requires composing 400 lines of courtly love poetry to unlock, up from 350.

-Due to major balance adjustments, Pokemon Trainers have had their talent points refunded.

-Elite monsters in the Swamp of Annihilation will no longer spawn immediately on top of the player and kill them in three hits. This was a bug and has now been fixed. Player should now die in a single hit.

-It was previously possible for non-stealth classes to occasionally defeat Edgy Wizards. This was a bug and has now been fixed.

-Pirate Wizard’s “Crippling Rum Addiction” debuff can now be managed by regular visits to the Pirates’ Cove Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, but, alas, can never be completely cured.

-The Farming profession has been buffed, and to compensate, all other sources of food in the game have been removed.

-The Shivering Wastelands of N’Zakoth are now 12% more Shivering and 6% more Wasted. Experience gain in this zone has been reduced by 2% to compensate.

-The Coin Flipper Epic Questline has now been fully implemented, allowing Coin Flippers to discover (and flip!) rare and magical coins from various corners of Tanadria.

Patch 1.2: First Content Patch

-New Contested Zones designed around PvP have been added to the game! Compete with the players of the other two factions to control these strategic territories and unlock their secrets, or remain neutral and sell your services to the highest bidder!

-Deciduous Tree Wizards must now hibernate during winter. To compensate, their Stamina has been increased by 6%.

-Religion Wizards who take the “Inquisitor” specialization now have a special resource called Intolerance. At 0%, Intolerance gives a debuff to attack power, stamina, and offensive abilities. As Intolerance increases, these stats are buffed, although at high levels other drawbacks may occur, like reduced reputation gain with non-aligned factions. At 100%, the Religion Wizard may be forced to attack all books other than the Holy Word of Sithrak on sight, or cease to believe that Tanadria is round.

-Bow and Arrow Wizards have been given a variety of Trick Shot abilities. These abilities deal no extra damage, but oh man, they look so fuckin’ sick, you have no idea.

-To avoid interfering with the pet training mechanic, Pokemon Trainers now cannot deal or be dealt damage in PvP.

-The Cavers of Gloaming instanced dungeon is now available to explore! Inhabited by the fearsome Gloam-Orcs, who hate and fear the living, players can now form parties of up to seven to delve into these treacherous pits and carefully explain to the Gloam-Orcs why their animaphobia is an antiquated prejudice in the Age of the Gryphon, and how external trade and openness to tourism is a healthy part of any subterranean economy.

-The Mining Profession now generates 1% less toxic runoff per skill level, up to a maximum of -50%.

-The Wyrm-Jungles of Annelidia are now accessible through the Pass of Defile. The Earthwyrm Lord requests your aid!

-The Pirate Wizard class now offers the “Venture Capitalist” specialization.

Patch 1.3: Hotfix

-Toxic runoff from gold farmers strip-mining the Hills of Morning has forced the Kingdom of Glywyspryn to declare the entire region a Superfund site, closed to further exploitation. Despite the objections of the Glywyspryn Free Trade Party, Mining is now disabled in this zone.

Patch 1.4: Bug Fixes & Balance Changes

-Alliterative verse sometimes previously sufficed to unlock the “Ye Olde Chivalrie” specialization; this was a bug and has been fixed. Only iambic pentameter in royal couplets is permitted now. Players who unlocked the specialization using this exploit have had their class changed to Barbarian Axe Wizard to reflect their taste in poetry.

-The armor bonus for leather wristbands has been doubled for Goth Wizards.

-All offensive abilities and talents of the Pokemon Trainer class have been removed, as they have been deemed unnecessary. As a consequence, their talent points have been refunded.

-Edgy Wizards have had their gold gain increased by 2%. Their experience gain has been increased by 4% to compensate.

-The Heavily-Greebled War-Sword of Gh’k’lazko the Perforated now has a 33% chance to deal twice as much damage to the wielder as to an opponent.

-The Corrupted Phlegm debuff has accidentally spread beyond the Blood-Spattered Altar of Gr’oth instance; as our QA team has been unable to determine the source of this bug, a new specialization has instead been added for Goth Wizards: “Plague Doctor.”

-Players who kited the Me’ga-Dra’go’n world boss to faction capitals have been issued 3-day bans and been awarded the title “The Irritating.”

-Edgy Wizards previously could only roll “Need” on items their class could use. This was a bug. Edgy Wizards now roll “Need” on all items automatically. Their armor has been increased by 3% to compensate.

Patch 1.5: Content Patch

We’re very excited to announce our first major expansion. Coming soon: Tanadriaclysm!!! New classes, new world quests, zone redesigns, and more, so you can experience Tanadria as you’ve never experienced it before! In preparation for the upcoming expansion, new world events can be found in both major cities and high-level zones.

-The Great Necropolis of Yrrr raid instance is now open! Tackle unparalleled challenges for unparalleled rewards with 199 of your closest friends! Defeat the 43 Generals of the Great Army of Yrrr, and confront the 62 Lords of the UnderDeath!

-Players mourning the death of the Lord of Annelidia will be pleased to know that both halves have now regenerated! Unfortunately, this has sparked a succession crisis and a vicious civil war, with the Front-Halfers locked in an intractable conflict with the Back-Halfers.

-Lack of player interest in the Farming profession has resulted in fully 15% of world NPCs starving to death. This is not a bug. Get farming, people.

-Tree Wizards can now produce food for themselves and their party members, if they choose a fruit-bearing specialization.

-New world bosses have been added to several zones, dangerous monsters which you will only be able to defeat by careful strategy and cunning tactics; or, failing that, by getting a sufficient fraction of the playerbase on your server to unionize.

-The Unseemly Portal is now open! It leads to the back garden.

-To reduce distracting from the core mechanic of the class, all random monsters are now invisible to Pokemon Trainers and vice-versa. Pokemon Trainers have had their talent points refunded.

Patch 1.6: Bug Fixes & Balance Changes

Congratulations to the world first kill of ArchCommander Bly’a’rgh by the guild <Abstract Noun>, 37 minutes after the Great Necropolis’s release. All members of <Abstract Noun> have been awarded the title “The Weirdly Intense About This Game.”

-Too many Pirate Wizards choosing the “Privateer” specialization has resulted in a 10% decrease in trade on the Sea of Mirrors, causing the Western Principalities to enter a prolonged recession. Some have blamed this for the rise of the populist Blooddrinker Tyrant in the region, while others have argued it’s the result of the failure of elites to pay attention to anxieties about Elven immigration.

-The Unseemly Portal has been sealed again. A carpenter has been called, but it’s likely all this wet weather we’ve been having lately.

-The Annelidian Civil War has entered a new phase as outside arms have flooded into the region. Player attempts to broker a peace conference have so far failed.

Patch 2.0: Tanadriaclysm!!!

-Six new leveling zones: The Squealing Pits of G’neng, the Obligatory Cheap Viking Ripoff Zone, the Obligatory Cheap Ancient Egypt Ripoff Zone, The Glittering Spines of the Bonechewers, The Undulating Surfaces of Pa, The Zone We’re Pretty Sure Is Going To Be A Big Hit In The Chinese Market

-After meeting with the temple-scholars of TZWPSIGTBABHITCM, the leaders of the Religion Wizard class have developed a new specialization: “Orientalist Mysticism Thing”! Note that players who choose this specialization will, if their characters is of the Caribbean Accent Cannibal Monster race, suffer a 4% penalty to their I’m Not Sure This Isn’t Racist rating.

-A new Dungeon Group Finder has been added! The Dungeon Group Finder will automatically put together a party of your level from other players looking for a group, and teleport you to the dungeon, eliminating such tedious activities as “socializing” and “spending time in the game world.” Simply choose a role--Toxic One Who Calls Other People Noobs, One Who Doesn’t Say Anything or Respond When Asked Direct Questions, One Who Is AFK Until the Final Boss then “Has To Go, Sorry”, One Who Keeps Pulling Even When The Healer is OOM, One Who Rolls Need On Everything “By Accident”--and the Dungeon Group Finder will fill in the others automatically.

-After meeting with the stealthy ninjas of TZWPSIGTBABHITCM, the Edgy Wizards now have access to the “Super Stealthy and Twice As Deadly” specialization! This specialization can be active at the same time as any other specialization. Edgy Wizards have had their game subscription cost reduced by 50% to compensate.

-New primary professions: Logging, Oil Drilling, Textile Production, Thaumaton Harvesting, Chimera Herding, Hippogriff Milking

-New secondary professions: Dog Petting, Doodling, Humming To Yourself, Masturbation

-To keep from distracting from the core class mechanic, the game is now single-player for Pokemon Trainers.

-Two new hero classes have been added! Extremely Edgy Wizard, and Ultra Edgy Wizard!

-New city: Sh’alkimar, of the Golden Spires! Home to the mysterious and alluring Wizard Elves, Shalk’im’ar offers convenient access to all the new zones, and a new starting experience for Wizard Elf characters.

-All old end-game content has been abandoned for the time being, and probably won’t get updated at any time in the next fifteen years, except clumsily to appeal to nostalgia, in a way that’s scarcely coherent to the game’s diegesis. It will be a fond but distant memory, and when you log in years from now, and look over your guild roster, which is entirely inactive--if, indeed, not empty--you will yearn for the happy evenings of your youth spent with people from all over the world who you never met face to face, yet you could still, somehow, count as a kind of friend. You will wish that the past was somehow reclaimable; that we were not destined, as mortal creatures of a mortal world, to have all happy hours slip irrevocably away from us, with the uncertain promise of future joy as our only comfort. You will wonder also, perhaps, what it says about you that such happy memories are tied up in an inherently commodified context, one inseparable from a crass commercialism doomed forever to seek maximum profit rather than truly fulfilling experiences. But such is the eternal dissatisfaction of the world: we exist as best we can, in conditions no one finds optimal, but everyone must somehow make tolerable, seeking a real, permanent happiness that is perhaps forever out of our reach.

-Pokemon trainers have had their talent points refunded.

Patch 2.1: Hotfix

-The entirety of S’halkim’’ar, the City of Golden Spires has been quarantined as a “NSFW RP zone.” All players inside S’h’al’k’im’ar at the time of this quarantine are forbidden from travel outside the city and vice-versa.

Patch 2.2: Bug Fixes & Balance Changes

-The Pirates’ Reef encounter now has 16% more scurvy.

-The “Citrus Tree” specialization for Tree Wizards now does 10% more healing to Pirate Wizards.

-Three hundred new hairstyles have been unlocked for Bow and Arrow Wizards.

-All Bow and Arrow Wizard tier sets have been redesigned. These new armor sets offer no stats or protection from damage, but they look flippin’ sweet.

-The armor art for Barbarian Axe Wizards accidentally crossed the line from “sexy 70s paperback cover art” to “actual porn.” We apologize; this change has been reversed.

-Edgy Wizard’s latency has been reduced to half of whatever yours is.

Patch 2.3: Content Patch

-The Economy Update is here! The Auction system has been reworked. Now each city’s Auction system is separate, and prices are tracked independently. All NPC vendors have been removed. All in-game resources will come from player professions and world drops. New land is being cleared by the Kingdom of Glywyspryn in the Annelidian Jungles for players to grow cash crops, and despite the protest of both the Annelidian Provisional Government and the Annelidian Unity Government, the Wyrm kingdom has proven too weak to resist.

-The Gnomish Bank has moved off the gold standard, causing the Mistweave Woods agreement to break down. All in-game currencies now have variable exchange rates.

-The Patriarch of Jorung has repealed local anti-trust and employment protection regulations in order to attract foreign investment and make the economy more competitive.

-An investigation in the Blooddrinker Tyrant’s foreign connections has yielded mixed results, disappointing the Western Principalities’ middle-class liberals.

-NPC populations of major cities will now vary slightly with time, to reflect their prosperity. Prolonged nearby conflicts, including PvP, will decrease a city’s prosperity. Lots of trade and farming, and long periods of peace, will increase it.

Patch 2.4: Bug Fixes and Balance Changes

-The economy of the Jorung Patriarchate has collapsed. A Gnomish Monetary Fund rescue package has been put together, requiring the Patriarchate to commit to considerably austerity measures for the next 10 years.

-Volatility in the in-game commodities market has led to a production shortfall in two of the three faction capitals. A rise in economic uncertainty has led to political instability that threatens to plunge Tanadria into war.

-Sorcerers from the Skovind Academy of Magical Research have issued warnings about the possible ecological consequences of unrestricted use of mana-based magic; they say the economy should try to move toward renewable forms of magic based on spell memorization and not appropriating poorly understood concepts of Polynesian native spiritual beliefs.

-The Populist Party of Glywyspryn have denounced the Skovind Academy as a hotbed of out-of-touch, elitist, liberal thought.

Patch 2.5: Bug Fixes and Balance Changes

We’re pleased to announce our SECOND upcoming major expansion: Tanadria: INVASION! Coming this fall!

-The Kingdom of Glywyspryn has announced far-reaching sanctions on the People’s Republic of Jorung after it expropriated all foreign assets in the country and renounced the debts of the old Patriarchate. This has resulted in severe shortages. Also, from now on, any time a player brings up socialism in in-game chat channels, a Glywyspryn NPC will tell them to “just google Jorung, if you want to see how well socialism REALLY works.”

-Pokemon Trainers have had their talent points refunded.

Patch 3.0: Tanadria: INVASION!

The Gothmarg Sea Peoples have begun their invasion of Tanadria! Fleeing a dread enemy in their homeland, the Gothmarg are intent on conquering Tanadria and making all free peoples of the continent their subjects! Players will have to bury old enmities, forge new alliances, and work together to repel the invaders--or else, join them! The invasion will play out over a series of updates and world events, and we hope will add an exciting new dimension of ongoing storytelling to World of TanadrinCraft!

-Invasion! Gothmarg advance fleets have landed on the eastern and southern coasts of Tanadria, and are already clashing with the local barons. Join the fight by taking breadcrumb quests in your faction capital, or traveling to the Invasion Points directly.

-New Faction system! In addition to the three major factions, players can now form their own faction! Unaligned players who belong to a guild can create an alliance of guilds, establish settlements in the wilderness, build up their towns and fortifications, and fight for territory.

-New Resources system! Each zone now has a fixed quantity of resources that replenishes based on a timer; over-exploited zones will take longer to replenish, and do so in smaller amounts. Some resources may have a finite quantity, so be careful!

-New economy-oriented Professions include Merchant, Surveyor, and Economist.

-The Pirate Wizard class has been greatly expanded with several new specializations: Landlord, Executive, Neoliberal Pundit, Banker, Small Business Owner

-New politics-oriented professions available to player factions! Politician, Columnist, Cable News Anchor, Lobbyist, Consultant

-Regular Wizard talent rework! Regular Wizards can now blow things up in any of seventeen colors. As a consequence of this rework, Pokemon Trainers have had their talent points refunded.

Patch 3.1: The Invasion Continues

-Working together, players have repelled the Gothmarg advance fleet--but now the main force of the Gothmarg is here! Bringing with them devastating new magickks, and a thirst for conquest, the forces of Warlord Gro’Akka will be very difficult to defeat--but if you fail, all of Tanadria will be threatened!

-New Invasion system will allow Gothmarg and Gothmarg-aligned players to conquer territory, including that held by NPC factions, even to the heart of Tanadria. World PvP and large-scale PvE encounters will make this one of the most exciting chapters in World of TanadrinCraft history!

-Seizing the opportunity opened up by the Gothmarg Invasion, the People’s Republic of Jorung has overthrown the feudal government of several neighboring states, and formed the Jorung Pact. A rival bloc, GATO, under the leadership of Kingdom of Glywyspryn, has declared that they will combat the influence of Jorung in any neighboring country, even if it means supporting the likes of the Horrendous Murderking of Chu.

-A series of ill-considered tarrifs by the Blooddrinker Tyrant has triggered serious inflation in the Western Principalities. The Blooddrinker Tyrant’s approval rating has risen by 6%.

Patch 3.2: Gro’Akka’s Conquest!

-Warlord Gro’Akka has successfully conquered more than a third of Tanadria, including the Jorung Pact, but his invasion has finally been slowed by players working together. Congratulations! It remains to be seen whether the Siege of Glywyspryn City will be lifted, or whether Glywyspryn will fall to the enemy!

-The Gothmarg forces have been reinforced by the arrival of the last of their ships. As these forces comprise primarily women and children, the direct increase to the fighting capacity of the Gothmarg armies will, in fact, be modest.

-Players have complained that the new Resource system has caused much of southern Tanadria to become depopulated during the current war. We’ve examined the issue, and currently everything is working as intended.

-The Skovind Academy has reissued their warning, in slightly stronger terms.

-New PvP rewards are available to players fighting on both sides of the Invasion!

Patch 3.3: The Gothmarg Aftermath

-The defeat of Warlord Gro’Akka, the burning of Glywyspryn City, and the shattering of the Gothmarg military mean that peace is restored--for now. All players who fought on the side of the Gothmarg are now marked as Hated with every non-Gothmarg faction, and will have to work hard to restore their reputation.

-Players have noticed that the unfamiliar climate of Tanadria and the incoming winter means that most of the remaining Gothmarg population is starving. This is WAD.

-The Blooddrinker Tyrant has refused to admit Gothmarg refugees into the Principalities. GATO has condemned this move but taken no other aciton.

-PvP armor sets have had their stats adjusted to make them slightly more useful in PvE.

-The sorcers of Skovind said something about “immanent disaster, we really have to do something.” I don’t know, I wasn’t listening.

Patch 3.4: Bug Fixes & Minor Updates

-The development of a new Gothmarg-Uqqashith creole language in southern Tanadria has begun.

-The post-Gothmarg Kingdom of Gorbal has been established through an alliance between the Gothmarg survivors and local barons. Gro’bag Gromakka has been named Elected King For Life.

-Depopulation through war has increased the bargaining power of the rural population, resulting a loosening of laws around serfdom and an increase in peasant wealth. The nobility, sensing the increasing precarity of their position, have turned to religion to reinforce the feudal hierarchy. Religion Wizards now have a 10% bonus to all offensive abilities.

-The entire faculty of the Skovind Academy was last seen furiously rowing south, something about “getting as far as possible from here before disaster strikes.”

Patch 3.5: Mana Winter

-Overuse of mana-based magics has depleted the natural magical resources of Tanadria. Food production, wildlife, and natural resource regeneration has been reduced to almost zero.

-The Blooddrinker Tyrant has finished his Blooddrinking Ritual, resulting in the Blooddrinker Ascension. The population of the Western Principalities has been devastated. Pundits in Glywyspryn have described the move as “controversial.” Players will have to work together to defeat the Tyrant and prevent the final destruction of all life in Tanadria!

-Please note that until the Blooddrinker Tyrant is defeated, it will not be possible to create new characters, lest the Blooddrinker Tyrant simply drink their blood.

-We have received numerous bug reports about the in-game skybox. This is not a bug; the sun is no longer visible in Tanadria, and won’t be, until the Blooddrinker Tyrant is slain.

Patch 3.6: Mana Winter II

-Several small oases of life were left in the wilderness. This was a bug and has been fixed.

-All player classes have been removed, except Pokemon Trainer. All player characters are now Survival Wizards, with the following specializations available: Hunter, Scavenger, Highway Robber, Pillager, Wanderer, Mad Prophet, Cannibal, Gruff Loner With A Heart of Gold, Ex-Military Guy Who’s Totally Suspicious From the First Time We Meet Him But Only Later We See That He Runs A Compound of Insane Zealots, Cannibal But Pretends To Be Friendly, Swamp Witch, and Zombie in a Top Hat.

-Failure to slay the Blooddrinker Tyrant has resulted in the death of 12% more of the NPC population.

-Pokemon Trainers have had their talent points refunded.

Patch 3.7: Hotfix

-Players were still able to return to life after death by speaking to a Necro-Healer. This was a bug, and has now been fixed. Death is permanent.

Patch 3.8: Mana Winter III

-The last wildlife has died, and zone resources will no longer replenish.

-The Blooddrinker Tyrant continues to grow stronger with each player and NPC permanently killed. Players should be aware that ill-coordinated raids against the Tyrant will only hasten their demise.

-The seas around Tanadria have begun to freeze.

Patch 3.9: Mana Winter IV

-The sorcerers in the Ruins of Glywyspryn have established a portal system that allows the surviving players and NPCs to fast-travel to (but not from) the Ruins. All remaining questgivers will be found there. We have received several reports that currently all quests are variations on “Gather food,” “Gather firewood,” and “Release me from my misery.” This is WAD.

-We wish <Abstract Noun> good luck on their final attempt to down the Blooddrinker Tyrant tomorrow.

Patch 3.10: Twilight

-As there are no surviving members of <Abstract Noun> left, and not enough remaining players attuned to the Palace of the Blooddrinker to attempt the raid, the Blooddrinker Tyrant has departed Tanadria to drink the blood of other lands.

-All remaining NPCs have died.

-Players are free to wander the frozen wasteland until they, too, succumb to cold and hunger.

-Ice is advancing from the north, and will soon cover the last traces of civilization.

Patch 3.11: Ice Advances

-The ice has advanced.

Patch 3.12: Ice Advances

-The ice has advanced.

Patch 3.13: Ice Advances

-The ice has advanced.

Patch 3.14: Ice Adva